Thanks for noticing. I think sometimes due to transitions in our society (at least here in the states), its become acceptable for a woman to expect less. Perhaps I’m a bit old fashioned or too traditional, but sugar is based on the idea of chivalry, which yes in most aspects, is dead.
This pairs with the conversation we were having about bf’s vs sd’s paying to take care of the woman. And it surprises me that some of the sd’s disagreed on this topic because it was only a couple decades ago that THAT was considered the norm. Only a half a century ago was a lady held in such a high regard that men would be in ‘competition’ for her hand, wishing to be the one that would take care of her. And yes, I realize also that society has also changed in the sense that women now work and make almost as much money as men, but I don’t understand why that means they should be held in a LOWER regard in dating, like they need LESS help, quite the opposite! If anything, ambitions, goals, and financial/educational accomplishments should only prove them to be a higher quality of character and even MORE men should be seeking her hand.
The relationship between a SD and SB is based on the ‘ancient’ idea of chivalry, that a woman should be ‘taken care of’. NOT KEPT! So many “SD’s and SB’s” don’t understand the difference between the 2. As soon as a SB demands ‘I’m not putting out till I get my money’, you’re subjecting yourself to the lower standard of being paid for, so why shouldn’t a SD treat you with less respect? The idea of the man demanding the woman after paying and vice versa has conditioned our sugar culture into thinking its ok and thats how it is. It SHOULD NOT be how it is! The gentleman should take care of the SB out of the ‘good and kindness’ of his heart, because he wants to give her a platform to stand on to continue to reach her goals and dreams, because he cares for and believes in her. She should be taken care of, not paid for.
Women are not cars.
And frankly, it pisses me off that we sit back and let these attitudes manifest and grow, because its only a matter of time before the toxic cold exchange of sugar expands and every SD and SB we come across gets this tainted version of how the relationship should be and feel and we end up getting the brunt of it.
And thus, chivalry in the sugar world will continue to fade. And we wonder why we get socks thrown at us.