1 year ago
Setting Boundaries
  • Posted Jun 10, 2016

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All healthy relationships, whether platonic or romantic, require boundaries. Mutually beneficial relationships are dependent upon clear boundaries in order to function seamlessly.

Often times people think of relationship boundaries as a controlling set of rules, but the reality is that boundaries aren’t about the other person, they are about you. Relationship boundaries are about setting your own limits and learning how to work with the limitations  of your partner in order to effectively work together to maintain a healthy relationship.

Below I will outline some guidelines to help you establish clear boundaries in your relationship.

Know what you want

It’s important to know what you want prior to entering a new relationship. If you know what you want and perhaps more importantly what you don’t want, you will be prepared to articulate those feelings to your partner. Prior to embarking on a new relationship take some time to reflect on what you are looking for and take note of your dealbreakers. Being indecisive will lead to drama later down the line.

Be clear and direct

As a Sugar Daddy you may be looking for a Sugar Baby who will accommodate your busy schedule without much notice so that is something you need to make known from the beginning. Not all Sugar Babies are willing to drop everything for their Sugar Daddies so if this is a deal breaker for you, be sure to discuss this early on.

As a Sugar Baby you might be seeking a monthly allowance instead of extravagant gifts and vacations. Again this is something you should discuss fairly early in your relationship because not all men are willing to commit to a monthly allowance.

Set Limits

Sugar relationships have some fundamental differences from traditional relationships which is why they may require unique limitations and boundaries. .

Communication

Is there a limit to how often you would like your SB or SD to contact you? Do you prefer they only contact you at certain times? If so, these limits should be made to clear to those involved.

Social Media

With the large generational gap that often accompanies Sugar relationships, it’s important to understand that your stance on social media may differ from your partner. As a couple you should discuss whether it is alright to share photos of each other on social platforms. Whether you agree or not it’s best to respect how your partner feels regarding this matter.

Exclusivity

Navigating this topic can be tricky because exclusivity isn’t always expected in Sugar relationships. Both parties should express their expectations regarding this matter. If you are not willing to enter into an exclusive relationship be honest so your partner can decide if they wish to continue the arrangement.

Remember, boundaries only work if they are made clear to those involved. Additionally, boundaries can change so it’s a good to check in every so often and make sure everyone is still on the same page.

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307 Responses to “Setting Boundaries”

  1. Anonymous says:

    Is there a place where we can leave a list if the time wasters, cheap skates and salt? Because frankly I’m tired of my being young and beautiful being non negotiable, but when it comes to cash suddenly they don’t want escort/transaction etc. Do they think we are here because we just don’t like attractive men? I just want to find a real sugar daddy, that’s all

  2. Anonymous says:

    The guy with the profile ‘Mashing’ firstly is racist even if you’re mixed he’s racist!!! He has a very small dick and does not meet the requirements of his profile!!! at all!!! The other profile ‘Extrajoy’ he has sex with you, arranges another date to meet and give you an allowance and then he dumps you the day before you supposed to meet!! Many girls have been complaining about these two profiles!! These MIAMI SD’s are the worst!!!

  3. SlizzyJ says:

    Enlightening posts. I’m enjoying all the articles i have been reading. It makes me sure that this is what i want. The articles makes me see clearer what i enjoy and how to get the best from it and not feel cheap or feel like he is doing me a favor.
    Thanks Brook

  4. call_me_ginger says:

    Oh how time changes everything.

    When I first joined Seeking Arrangement, the majority of men I met just wanted a quick thrill. At the time that suited me…having notes put in a hand that usually only has coins. Was exciting.

    But now I look back and realise how that wasn’t what I was looking for at all. I think that route can be destructive, for both sides of the party.

    I was lucky enough to meet one chap and for me he defines what a sugar daddy should be.

    For me now, I hope to find a man who can support me in many ways. Not just sexually and financially. Who is happy to chat to me in an honest way, not playing a role. Happy to talk about life without every word being tainted with something sexual. Offer advice…compassion. Make me feel safe when I’m struggling to pay next months bills. Nothing serious but nothing flimsy like a one night stand. Just to have that comfort knowing they’re on the other end of the phone…and they’re happy to speak to you, hear from you and help you. A friend.

    A gentleman.

    For me, it’s not all about getting money to buy expensive shoes and handbags.

    It’s about meeting a man who is fortunate enough to have money and he’s happy to share some with me, to help me achieve my ambitions. Also, meeting a man that respects me and I respect him.

    Wow…I’m waffling on a bit….but if there’s a ‘sugar daddy’ out there like this….I salute you.

  5. Belle says:

    I read on the comment and I see very cheap arrangement can’t be with a sugar daddy who can’t offer 5000$ per month and 1000$ per meet, like seriously I hve dated older rich men before not from sites,I hve received really expensive gift from Chanel bag to Rolex watches to private jet trips and my 2cars was bought by one of those men a Range Rover 2016 vogue and a masariti ,he was a politician ,but got into trouble with the government ,that’s what ended our relationship ,so been on this site I aim for the highest bidder ,don’t need no cheap ass sugar daddy giving me cents ,i consider my self classic and articulate and on my profile pic my lifestyle speaks for itself ,ladies sometimes the reason they offer you so less is becos of how u present urself,if u look cheap no one is gonna offer anything high ,and u always get the low class men…..let ur pictures scream class and sophicated ,be smart ,groom urself,speak with pride ,don’t entertain all emails be selective and u will find what you want …I rather be a gold digger than pretend to be a sugar baby for 250$ …imagine what he wants and what he is offering ,becos we re SB don’t mean u can just come up with some crazy arrangement and then I would accept ,hell no u date me on my own term …,u can’t be looking for love on seeking arrangement I read profile like am ready to spoil u but don’t ask for allowance its feel like a transaction,don’t do this don’t do that,darling it’s a transaction with an arrangement for both parties so call it which ever way ,no money no honey.deal

    • Anonymous says:

      You’d be better off spending time with your politician friend in jail than wasting your time online. You are clearly thug-widowed by a jailbird politician.

      • sierra says:

        why would you say that its true – I dont even deal with negiotiable profiles – obviously you knew when you signed up what you could afford…. that is just short for cheap / haggler. if your daddy is offering you what an escort is paid… then you should refer him to an escort. I cant see why you would bother

  6. Lonnie says:

    I got this from a POT SD: I’ll send some money into your account with your allowance then I’ll need you to help me send it to my supplier through money gram

  7. Anonymous says:

    I was talking to a “sugar daddy” who wanted to pay me 90 dollars for “Car fun” on his lunch breaks and 100 each day to accompany him for his work business trips.That was the most disrespectful thing honestly I’m pretty, in college, young and he said since I’m 21 I’m sure you Don’t have many bills. I have a job and honestly I could make what he’s offering me on my own and get benefits. I go to a university I’m in debt, I pay for all of my things and this guy really treated like some sort of escort which I have no problem with escorts but that’s not what a sugar baby is. And everyone knows being technical escorts would make way more than what he offered, so the men on here can be very rude. Why come on seeking arrangements…..

    • Anonymous says:

      Amount could be any but RESPECT is a must.

      • Anonymous says:

        No respect was the problem, that was his typical arrangement. I kindly blocked and deleted his number.

    • Anonymous says:

      Case in point if he offered $2,000 per meeting but did it in a disrespectful way still, would that be alright? I guess not.

    • Calli Dan says:

      This is what many SB’s offer, so don’t take offense at the confusion. Just because aren’t interested, doesn’t mean their aren’t 10 girls right behind you that are. (Trust me, I know)

    • SlizzyJ says:

      Its good you blocked him. No man has the right to disrespect you. I hope other learn from you not to take bullshit dished out by SDs.

  8. Anonymous says:

    Having used this site successfully for over a year, here are a few observations from my experience as a SD: 1. I’ve never met a SB that was not all about the money and I don’t mean this harsh. Heck I love what I do for a living, but I do it for the money at the end of the day. SBs’ may have many other excellent attributes, but in the end, they are all about the money which is ok by me. 2. The pay per meet seems to be the norm these days. That’s all I do now having been burned by providing an allowance and experiencing the disappear act in a variety of forms. It just makes sense too – once SB’s have the money their incentive to meet up wanes. It’s not like there is a contract and integrity is fully on the line. What am I going to do, sue them if they ghost? Correspondingly, I’ve never met a SB that will provide me credit without being paid first – see number one above – even if the arrangement has lasted a period of time and I’m waiting on cashing out of an investment to pay. And yes, I do have the means to pay, but I just have my own unusual business. Finally, 3. As it seems pay per meet is the norm no matter what anyone wants it to be, should the expectations change as well e.g. does “substantial” really mean $2,500 per meet in a once a week arrangement? Maybe so, but it certainly isn’t clear.

  9. AK says:

    How to hook a SB in 5 easy steps (Written by a SB)
    1) Don’t talk forever online: A quick conversation is cool, but after day two you should, at least, be emailing (or texting, whatever you BOTH are comfortable with) about meeting up.
    2) Meet somewhere public: This may be shocking to you “Sugar Daddies” but a lot of women are looking for something platonic. Why is that? Because that’s how it first started and that is what a sugar baby is (A “companion”). Then many floozy girls (Hoes, Pros, and Hooks) heard about the potential money and flooded the site looking for some quick cash (Pay for play, low allowances, etc). The term “Mutually Beneficial” has come to mean “sex”. Which it’s not. So, do not ask her to meet you at a hotel, your place, or at her place. If you’re worried about saving some money (which, if you’re wealthy I wouldn’t think is a problem) opt for a coffee/ ice cream date. But if money isn’t an issue, try for a late (helps with discretion since it’s not as busy) lunch or a dinner. It does NOT need to be a five star (or even 3 star), but Olive Garden isn’t going to give off the best impression either. Just like you would want for her to give off a good first impression. You’re showing her a taste of what she can have if you two have chemistry and vice versa.
    3) YOU are the one who is already a VERY successful man: Remember that many of us are in school and work a typical part time job to get through it and become successful… When you ask to meet with us, we typically have to call off work, or miss a class, or travel very far, and some may even have to pay a sitter if they have their own children. This is why many girls may ask you for a gift (That can be a gift card, a bit of cash, offering to pay for their uber, etc.) You don’t need to fork out thousands of dollars, but a LITTLE gesture is nice. This also shows your legitimacy. There have been times where at the end of the date, we have had such a good time, I have been given an envelope with some cash already in it letting me know this is something he took seriously and wanted to continue seeing me and that we wanted to solidify our arrangement.
    4) Know your limit: Take a look at your potential SB’s profile… Really look at it. Look at what she said her “Lifestyle Expectation” is. If she says, for example, Substantial, know that means from 5-10k (Practical 1-3k, Moderate 3-5k, etc). If you’re profile says “negotiable” and you pick a SB who’s profile clearly says “substantial” she is going to think you want to negotiate an allowance between 5-10k… Not negotiate how you only want to give her 2k for four meets a month (broken down to $500 a meet). You can find a Pro for cheaper than that price and she’ll probably f**k you better. If it says “negotiable” then negotiate away! But don’t get upset when you’re upfront on your profile by stating that you EXPECT intimacy but set a double standard when she is up front telling you what she expects.
    5) Know what type of arrangement you want and say that. There are plenty of kinds: 1) Allowance based, 2) Travel based, 3) Gift based, 4) Bills based, etc. Keep in mind that there are many SCAMMERS (on both sides) so if you get offended when we ask for cash instead of you knowing our bank info, know why. The longer the arrangement, the more trust there will be. But if you’re weary about giving all allowance cash upfront, maybe do biweekly. If you’re wanting to travel, let her book her own things. if you’re not comfortable with that give her the money when you are together and have her book it in your presence… If you feel so inclined. If you are going the gifts route, have her make a public amazon wish list or have her send you links so you can surprise her when you meet or ship them (Amazon has a good option for making her feel secure as you don’t see the address). Or take her shopping as a date. Two birds, one stone. As far as Bills/ Tuition… That’s pretty easy.

    I hope this helped! Now, you don’t HAVE to do this, just know that this is what we look for(:

    In summary:
    1) Meet soon
    2) Meet public
    3) Be generous
    4) Meet expectations (on both sides)
    5) Know your arrangement

    If you disagree, feel free to. However, just keep scrolling and ignore this. No need to waste your time! If you have any other tips, leave them below! Happy sugaring!

    • Anonymous says:

      You are on crack if you think sugar relationships are supposed to be platonic. You lost all credibility when you said that. If I want to have a good time and not have sex, I will hangout with my guy friends. They are way more fun and less drama than any woman I have met.

      • AK says:

        Never said that is how it’s “supposed to be”, just stated how it started. I also never said sex couldn’t come along, just don’t expect it on a first date. Intimacy should come naturally (if that is what you’re looking for). But sometimes you can find someone who is platonic and after being with you, may want to explore that route (: You know, there are arrangements where he is offering lower numbers, but all he wants to do is just do to dinner and tell me his stories. There are so many different types! I’m sorry all you have found is women who bring you drama. Happy sugaring and good luck with your search!

      • Anonymous says:

        Women = drama.

        If you are attracting men who want to tell stories then more power to you.

    • Anonymous says:

      Forget money for the sake of argument…if pussy is not engaged the female company for a man is a burden. When pussy is involved female company is bearable.

      • Anonymous says:

        Man i feel sorry for you guys… If all you want is pussy why not just hire a escort and not go through the trouble of a meet and setting up a arrangement?

    • Deutsch says:

      @AK:

      very well written! a copy of this should be sent to every SD on the site, the minute they sign up! you should contact the owner for this LOL

    • cpalmson says:

      I agree with most of what you say except the platonic nature of the arrangement in the beginning. Most everyone knows what is expected when meeting on this site or on any other similar sites. As a matter of fact from a guy’s perspective, there are some out there who expect the first time together in an intimate setting to be like a regular date with no expectations of a gift or spoiling. The term used is a test drive. Personally, I don’t subscribe to that thought b/c as a gentleman, I want a girl to feel appreciated from day one. For me, I anticipate sex on the first meet and plan accordingly. If sex doesn’t happen on the first date, and there is a second date, I expect sex on that date. If there is no sex, there will be no third date.

  10. Rick says:

    Another interesting profile until I got to the end and read
    “I would love to go to coffee and see how we click, chemistry is a huge part of this in order to get the best experience, and then we can further discuss the arrangement. With that in mind, I am looking for some kind of monetary proof to show that you are as serious and interested as I am. ”

    What sort of “proof” should I ask in return? 😉

    • Anonymous says:

      Ignore, but that’s up to you,if she was really interested in meeting you and seeing if there is chemistry, she wouldn’t demand a monetary proof for it. What it does tell is that she’s only interested in your money and might not even meet you once the money is send, she might, if she thinks your a fish and can milk you for even more money.

    • Anonymous says:

      a hand job in your car would be a good start for $30. And take it from there …

      • Rick says:

        That’s what I was thinking. Actually, I just ignored her after that, but it’s kinda sad that there must be guys that actually fall for that, or there wouldn’t be so many SBs asking. I always thought dropping $50-$100 to pay for her meal was pretty good proof of seriousness.

      • Anonymous says:

        If she is driving to meet me in my place and she lives 50 miles away or so, I don’t mind giving her 100 bucks in addition to dinner/drinks. But if she lives in my town, a nice dinner should suffice; remember, we are just testing chemistry here. Also there are way more SB’s on the site, so if someone is giving me a pushback, I usually drop them and move to the next one.

    • JumanJee says:

      When setting up the first meet, I always tell the SB that a first date is just that … a first date to see if we click and discuss arrangement options, there will be no allowance except any travel cost for her and that too only after she shows up.

  11. Anonymous says:

    Boundaries go both ways. As an SB, I need to feel safe with an SD and also know that if he’s married, he’s taking care to be discreet. Who needs to be involved in drama? Someone who won’t talk to me on the phone before we meet to make sure we’re on the same page isn’t for me. I am a busy professional and expect an SD is too. I have yet to find a good SD.

    So far I have had the following experiences:
    – invited to dinner with an SD in downtown Pittsburgh. Waiting for him, he sends me a text meant for someone else and is very late. I leave, letting him know. He texts me, criticizing ME for being unethical.
    – spent time with an SD who claimed to be separated (untrue) and offered legal help with establishing an LLC. He and I had fun a couple of times and he put me off regarding his end of the deal. We met for lunch and when I confronted him about upholding his end of the deal, he walked out, but then texted me again to get together. Saying he cared about me. Blocked him.

    After this, I started to screen SDs with phone calls.

    – more than one SD told me that they had no intention of giving any gifts, money, trips, etc. They only wanted to date. I’m sorry, this is SEEKING ARRANGEMENT
    – messages from SD on site ended with him wanted me to guarantee him intimacy after meeting for coffee. He insisted on coming to my apartment. Blocked him
    – chatted on the phone with SD and he seemed nice, although he talked about a women he dated from Match.com who he claimed was obsessive. Throughout the week, he blew up my phone, so it seems that HE was the needy one. Blocked him
    – messages on site with SD and after pleasantries, I asked him about a few things he stated in his profile. He lives out of state (possibly) and references an interest in BDSM. I had to ask him twice about logistics and his sexual preferences and got the answer that my questions were “too much like being married.” If I can’t ask basic questions, this guy is a control freak. Blocked him.

    I had a SD when I lived in NYC and was treated very well. Maybe I’m in the wrong city, but I still think it could happen.

    I would encourage everyone to be safe and very clear about what they want. Use a phone app and not your real phone number, get a non-identifying email for communication and pay attention to any red flags. ASK A LOT OF QUESTIONS. The other person doesn’t have to disclose their identity, but give answers that are consistent and in tune with what you want.

    There’s a saying – a deer doesn’t stop to question if the hunter is going to kill him. He just runs.

  12. Anonymous says:

    Any decent mature guys living in Tennessee and seriously looking for a relationship with a younger man?

  13. Handsome Ghost says:

    Finding a Sugar Daddy in Georgia who’s consistent, passionate, and engaging is very difficult!

    • Anonymous says:

      I heard it too. Georgia has gone to dogs.

      • Anonymous says:

        North Carolina sucks for finding SBs – rapidly went down hill

      • Anonymous says:

        Yes, I live in Charlotte, NC and can confirm that finding a young, attractive SB for a reasonable pay per meet arrangement has become a f**king headache. Even when offering a decent amount, many are just either afraid to meet or keep canceling/are non-responsive. Single moms and minorities are dominating the market. (besides hoes)

  14. sd with open eyes says:

    Speaking if setting boundaries, is it creepy if a SB who supposedly lives somewhat close to you gives you their phone number even though the conversation is still in the beginning phase?

    I kind of makes me feel that they are stalkers who want to get your number on their caller id and go to town finding out your personal info.

    • Anonymous says:

      Depends honestly, some people are more open with there phone numbers then others, if it scares u just used a google number for texting

    • Sweet SB says:

      Why not use an app for phone calls and texts? There are those that are disguised as news apps. You can also have a burner cell that you leave at work.

  15. Anonymous says:

    The quality of women have remained the same but the allowances have gone down. Good for me. :)

    • Anonymous says:

      what is an average allowance you have to give to a good looking baby these days in your area? I am in NC and 1200-1500 is acceptable by most in their mid 20’s. Some ask 400-500 per meet, but 300-350 per meet is sufficient for the 90% of them.

    • Anonymous says:

      $100 per meet works for quite a few of them that are decent. You can arrange with any woman you want in this part of the country for $300 per meet.

      • Anonymous says:

        Where are you? I am moving there. Even the dirtiest and ugliest escorts in my town want $150 for half hour.

      • Calli Dan says:

        I’ve had a better response with my opening line being “I’ll give you $100 and based on satisfaction, more” than I have with “Hi, how are you doing today?”

      • Anonymous says:

        Maybe $100 is enough in some small town, Alabama and older, single mom SB’s of color, but most 18-21 year old attractive white SB’s in a metro city are wanting 300-500 per meet. But I agree, I get better responses if I say something along the lines of: “Are you okay with a 1500-2000 allowance per month for 3-4 meets?” The key is to get the OUT from their behind their computers and meet you and once they meet you, most become very flexible. That is why I usually don’t put them on the defensive and argue with them over the internet. Tell them what they want to hear based on what they say in profile, keep it somewhat vague, get them to text you back and forth and then meet asap.

  16. Anonymous says:

    I am new to this and I want to have an arrangement where I can meet a lady once or twice a week, have dinner/drinks and have a wild time in the bedroom. I do not wish to hear from her until our next meeting, barring some emergencies of course. Is this a reasonable arrangement? And what is the ballpark figure I should expect to spend? My desired SB is between 21-28, white, slim or athletic. I am in my mid 40’s relatively good looking and in good shape. Just got out of a long term relationship and have no desire to date.

    • Anonymous says:

      It depends on where are you. If you are in SF, that will be X; if you are in Austin, TX, that would be Y.

    • Another anonymous says:

      A reasonable rule of thumb is approximately the one bedroom appartment rent in your area.

      • Anonymous says:

        $1400 will get you a kick ass place in my city. So approximately $350 per meet?? That’s not too bad.

      • Anonymous says:

        One bedroom apartment rent is fair approximation for monthly allowance.

      • Anonymous says:

        Does this 1 BR rule apply to 4 meets per month? (once a week?) And I assume these are NOT platonic meets.

      • Calli Dan says:

        Can get a 1br here for about 500 bucks a month. SO maybe 100 bucks a meet? That’s fair.

      • X says:

        @Calli Dan,

        Are you 30 days up yet Calli Dan boi? Your 30 day membership fee use up all your spare change again? Bitter you cannot afford to be on this site, go cry about it elsewhere. Go to POF, it’s free, coffee date boi. You can’t even afford to treat a woman to dinner.
        You give real SD a bad name. Man up or shut your trap.

      • Anonymous says:

        I feel like $300 for 2-3 hours of fun is reasonable. I had an arrangement where a SB lived very close to me, and I wanted to see her 2-3 times a week, so we agreed on 500/week. So she got around 2k a month, but I would see her anywhere from 6-10 time a month, so it was a great deal for both of us. She was drop dead gorgeous too.

        I find that if you two have time and desire to meet up frequently, and she gets a decent sum per MONTH, on a per meet basis, it turns out to be quite a great deal for a SD.

        It seems like women would rather take 2,000 dollars and see you 8 times than 1,000 and see you 4 times. Once they f*ck you and they feel safe with you, they are willing to do it often and as a SD you can get a good deal.

        But the SB’s you want to see on a regular basis are rare. Most become a headache to deal with.

      • Calli Dan says:

        Found the bitter baby. Bitter babies don’t can’t even understand basic sarcasm. Pathetic.

  17. Anomomomom says:

    “Adventurous, fun loving, exciting,loves to laugh,spontaneous.”

    All words I hate to read over and over again. I think I’m too low-key for these SDs . Like , can we not just chill the fuck out? I don’t know, maybe it’s because I’m small town.

  18. Another anonymous says:

    Bluntly put, yet not incorrect by local standards. :-)

  19. LdyBoss says:

    I see why some people Need arrangements just by looking at the comments section…

  20. Anonymous says:

    Taking advantage of a young lady means asking her to do anything instead of simply putting money in her bank account because she is so young and cute.

    • Anonymous says:

      They’re not necessarily young and cute, but they still consider themselves entitled to your money with nothing in return because, well, they just do.

  21. LdyBoss says:

    Since we are on this topic I see this as a perfect opportunity to vent:
    So I am on the phone with a potential and the conversation is going very well (we were talking for about 40 mins) until he tells me that he is not looking for a sugarbaby/daddy relationship?? So I asked him ” why the hell the you join the site for then?” He tells me he was just curious… I was so thrown off because normally I would just hang up at that point. But I liked the guy, he is decent looking and has a cool personality and I felt that we could at least hang out. He tells me that giving a woman money would feel too transactional. That he could offer, mentorship, career advice and connections…all of which I already have more than enough of but anyway I proceeded with the conversation…Then he throws me off again when he starts trying to talk about sex…more specifically what he does not like during sex! I had to put him in his place real quick!! This mother fucker is really expecting me to sleep with him for career advice! LMAO omg i almost died laughing. Sadly he tells me he has this type of arrangement with 3 other fools on this site. Anyway we scheduled an appointment to meet but were just going to keep things friendly. He finds me intriguing and I find him entertaining so lets see if he mentions sex again I’m gonna kick him in the balls Ha!

    • Anonymous says:

      By this logic a man should at least slap a woman who ask money for nothing?

      • Anonymous says:

        Exactly. Pussy has a “value” in our society and a “dick” does not. Giving orgasms to women is not e fair exchange for a woman giving men orgasms. I feel like women on SA are rewarded twice, provided the man is not some old, ugly mofo!

    • immortal walker says:

      While there is a wide variety of types of arrangements, each pair of SD/SB has to find what they are comfortable with. If this SD found three women who do sleep with him because he is a career advise guru then who is to judge him or them.
      If this does not work with you, per your own comments, just let him know, and move on. No sense in ball kicking just to put people in “their place”.

      • Anonymous says:

        The “fact” that women assault men is well tolerated in the western society and even the idea that a man assault a woman is promptly taken to task.

    • sh @ timewasters says:

      @LdyBoss

      Can you share his state, city, and/or profile name, so we can block him.
      Thanks much

    • sd with open eyes says:

      But what if the guy likes that?

    • Anonymous says:

      So by your standard any guy who sleeps with a girl should have to pay the girl for it? Different people have different needs and wants when they come to this site, not everyone is after just money

    • Ineeners says:

      What is his name on SA? I have recently met a man who said the same exact thing. I told him I did not need his mentor, thank you and walked out of Starbucks.

  22. Howmuchsugar4adime says:

    First time for me on this site and as I have been Reading over the comments posted here I have to wonder if this is for me. I am a busy professional, but like to do things when I get time off and I am looking for someone who I can call if an opportunity presents. It may be dinner, or dancing, or maybe travel somewhere on business or pleasure. Is there such a thing to be found here or is the negative vibe here due to less than satisfactory experiences?

    • Anomomomom says:

      Enjoy the site, ignore the blogs

    • thandi says:

      I am what you are seeking. I have no ties and need to give little notice. Hook me up

    • MayaT says:

      I am a SB and i am in this site for a while and this is the first time i read the comments, some people in the site can be really rude but theres some nice people for u have a good time, you just have to be picky, it must be easier for you as a SD, enjoy it (:

  23. hmmxxx says:

    It is disheartening and atrocious just how much the quality of Sugar Daddy has gone down in a year. I am finding many male members insulting in their apparent entitlement to being good enough and not willing to spend. I mean hello… If I did not need the money, I would just go out and date a guy, get into a relationship and blahblah. I’m a beautiful and intelligent girl, just in a situation where I need help right now. Some of those SALT Daddies are delusional and have very little respect… Where has the ’15 class of SD’s gone???

    • Anonymous says:

      Everyone is entitle to decide what they want, and what they are willing to give out. Just screen them out properly. I’m not gonna insult you and start calling you names because you want 20k a month as a allowance, I’m just going to skip your profile since we obviously wont fit. Sames for other people, if said SD doesn’t want to have a typical arrangement, his entitled to that as long as his not misleading people, if there any takers more power to him, if there none that’s his own problem.

      I don’t get why people get pissy about what other people want or need, its their own decision, if there been unreasonable, they just shrink their own pool of potential SD/SB that’s all, how does that affect your life?

      • Calli Dan says:

        Great comment about “more power to him”. I feel the same way about some SBs.. they may want too much money or maybe they aren’t very attractive or have too many tattoos/kids for my taste. I don’t send them a message and tell them they are bad SBs, I just move on to the next profile. Maybe somebody wants an extremely obese woman.. who am I to judge?

  24. immortal walker says:

    On Pay for Play
    I see several SB ads stating they seek an allowance not a pay for play situation. After been burned already at least three times, as a SD, I wanted to offer my perspective, which perhaps may elucidate the subject a bit.
    In these bad experiences, I have given either advances or an upfront, for the month, allowance to these SBs. They all have taken the money, and then, one of them completely ghosted on me, another one had to go visit family for more than six months away, and the last one took the money, promised to meet me “next week”, and then her job became very busy, her weekends were for her shared custody child, and no time left for me.
    As a result, I became more cautious about my discretionary income and how to manage these situations. The pay per play method works better, in the beginning of the relationship. We meet, we have great time, and I provide her with the allowance for that meeting. It will be only after we have developed enough trust, rapport, and become reliable (both ways), that I will consider again to provide the month’s allowance “knowing” she probably will not take advantage.
    I think there is inherent risk, for both parties, but if we keep things clear, concise, and do not try to guess work the other person, but rather, ASK, and ANSWER honestly, for instance, “how much allowance can you give me?” “I can give you $1,000 per month, divided in four $250 per meeting, and I want to see you for at least four hours, so that I may take you in a small trip, dinner, and play time”. Either she can, or she cannot, but there is no guess work.
    She can also state “I need at least $2,000 per month, up front, for two meetings per month”. The SD can either afford it or not, and tell her so right there.

    • Anomomomom says:

      How I do it. Get a couple hundred on the first meet. Then when intimate give me the money right before we bang.

      I had one guy sneak it into my bookbag after a night together(600$). Unfortunately I did actually have to movebfor better job opportunities. But I sent him a few nudes and he understood. He might even visit me !

      He was so good at making me… Ahem. :)

    • Anomomomom says:

      Why don’t you dare me? Are you down with the brown?

    • thandi says:

      Makes perfect sense to me

    • Gtt_envy says:

      The flip side of that I heard too often on SA is a guy bolting after night 1, so now a girl slept with someone for $250 bucks!! Feels scammed and pissed.

      If I were a woman 20-25 air wouldn’t sleep with a guy for $250 PERIOD.

      $500 a date if he was pretty cute and wasn’t looking for sex on day 1 would be a start.

      $750- $1000 a evening I would.

      • Anonymous says:

        LOL, wow, you want a cute guy to pay you $1000 to have sex with you. And then she woke up!

    • Ms. Phoenix Rising says:

      How about you get to know each other first…instead of making it a purely sexual relationship where you ultimately turn her into a sex worker…pay for plays is sex work…no matter how you look at it. So in essence why not actually take the time to develop something with the young ladies versus jumping right into bed with them….ultimately learning…they are sex workers…..and nothing more and you a john. So many of you SD want to be gratified and entitled right away…as do some of the SB but that’s why everybody keeps getting played…no one here seems to want to communicate in adult ways…not act in adult ways beyond XXX….yet they want mature levels of trust….LOL…on what planet does that work when all you both want is immediate gratification? I’m always so ticked by the complaints…..when often most would have no complaints if they’d just admit the type of situation they are in…and it’s not a SD/SB one lol

      • Calli Dan says:

        Understand that most (90%) SBs can’t hold a conversation at our level. Most of us are highly educated and part of a professional world that the SBs have never experienced. With that said, SBs bring (hopefully) sex and good customer service skills to the relationship. Be respectful, pleasant, sexual, and punctual and you will make TONS of cash here. There is a need for outstanding service.

      • Ms. Phoenix Rising says:

        I am a bit older so I cannot agree that all SB cannot hold a conversation….I am not in my 20’s sir LOL….But that is the trade off when you want very young and fresh faced. When I was in my 20’s it was pretty normal for me to be able to have a very interesting and intelligent conversation. I was already educated and very worldly and had been around a bit in terms of my job but I do understand how I am different. Never mind then……I tend to give young women a lot of credit…..I shall digress :)

  25. Anonymous says:

    haha

  26. Anonymous says:

    The perfect message to a member who calls themselves a transplant/ A transplant in my own way that would love to see what roots you have in a hybrid artistic manner to cross plant if pheromones permit the proper euphoric ambiance. Many can water of course, few have a green thumb. Looking forward to see
    the effects of a sunkissed glow upon your skin. :)

    Still I say, not to shabby for a newbie like me..Then again. I might have scared his arse off. At least I am trying to spread my roots myself, for the first time ever again in forwardness. If he only knew the sexual side, he would grow like a wild child all over me. Sighhhhh.

  27. FedUpAnon says:

    I just want your money. I don’t want to meet you.

    Maybe I will save on fine dining this way 😉

    • Anonymous says:

      @ FedUpAnon

      U are the only one who can post here. I will save on fine dining, thought concepts and anything else u desire love. Why not wink ur willie in the dark. So far, u are workin wonders all by yourself.

    • Anonymous says:

      We don’t care. Everyone here is cheap and the world is bored by the loser metality here. Everyone has moved on.

  28. sd with open eyes says:

    I am seeing an increase in obviously fake messages in the last couple of days, messages that imply that the message is a continuation of a previous conversation even though it is obvious that their message is the first that you have received from them. I have reported them.

    Is anyone else having this problem?

  29. Anonymous says:

    Don’t u worry Verbose. They think u r nose blind to the man who cant ‘put it down’.

    Just so happens the right one ‘beamed u up today’ instead of catering to a man who couldn’t put it down.

  30. Anonymous says:

    She texts that she is available on a weekend. She texts again to confirm. We agree on time, I book the room. Something we have done before a few times. And then she just ghosts.
    I think she has been abducted by aliens.

    • Anonymous says:

      She was abducted by the Alien with a large schlong. Women enjoy the company of a man who is a ‘softie’; just not in the bedroom, or as an after dinner mint, or on the counter, the washer, on a get-a-way. My, the list is endless. Oh wait, I am the verbose idiot. Remember?

  31. anon says:

    has anyone noticed that all of the reporting somebody reasons are focused on women and none of them are specified for the men and sugadadies here…there are plenty of men just taking advantage of young girls and everyone just seems to turn a blind eye to that

    • Anomomomom says:

      Sugaring imitate life

    • sd with open eyes says:

      “Inappropriate content
      Soliciting
      Inappropriate photo
      Underage
      Scammer”

      What categories would you like to see added?

    • Another anonymous says:

      Would you care to define taking advantage of a young lady? It sounds a bit Victorian.

    • Rose says:

      I agree with you. I hate sd’s ask me can you this and that ? If not, there is no arrangement. and plus, sd’s are so cheap. I hate hear that you are over my budget….

      • Calli Dan says:

        You should applaud the honesty. If you keep hearing that, maybe you are asking too much for your area? Girls here aren’t going to get 1500 a meet, because we are in the middle of nowhere USA. 1500 a meet may be reasonable for Cali or NYC.. but Ohio? Nah.

      • Anonymous says:

        Honestly doubt 1500 a meet is standard or reasonable anywhere, some girls might be able to get that if there a absolute then you then find a guy who so rich he doesn’t give a damn about it its going to be a rare exception then a standard

  32. Anonymous says:

    I absutely hait the funkin randam maderashn

  33. seriously says:

    Seriously? Chris Milk “The birth of virtual reality as an art form”.

    I gathered to you around a camp fire after visiting TX. I called to you in excitement and passion. Wtf? You voice sound’s empty and no passion is within you. Virtual reality is not the last medium unless you have no power to control what is already around you.

    A great medium is it indeed, no doubt. But the last it is not. If it were…then having sex and making love is nothing more than a metaphor and I can attest without fiction but lighting bolt fast that: “I can show you better than I can tell you, bro”.

    Matter of fact; “Pull up a chair, lend me your ear, warm your hands by the campfire, open your eyes and finally draw near”.

    To bring it home to your level I quote The Wolf on Wall Street; “Sell me this pen”.

  34. Anonymous says:

    Are there any SD’s on the blog who prefer a woman who is older than they are? I know this may be a rareity, but there are websites dedicated to milfs. Thoughts on your thoughts appreciated.

    • FedUpAnon says:

      You can be a mother at 17, so why the assumption that a milf is older than a potential cougar?

      • Anonymous says:

        Because that’s what a milf is your friends mom…. it’s a term made popular by the first American Pie movie. It was not meant to describe a teen mom. Just like the words curvy, and athletic it’s been misappropriated and abused by peoe it was never meant to describe.

    • Anonymous says:

      I am most seeking someone younger than me but I am open to a SB around my age or older

    • Another anonymous says:

      The very terms sugar daddy/sugar baby seem to suggest what the age difference will be. Is thera a group of affluent guys in their late 40s or 50s, who want to have a mistress older than them and who are willing to support her? I guess yes, but that must be a niche market indeed.

  35. Anonymousl says:

    If any of us were 18 again…Would you be turned on more by the party who said “drop me’ and do me!”

    Or, would you be turned on more by the party who slowly began making out with you?

    Do I go to a movie called the Minute Man? or, Do I go see the movie that builds up antisciation for the climactic ending?

  36. Anonymousl says:

    @ Anonymous

    I disagree. Your commentary is vague and one of negative suggestion. Allow me to shed some light on your negative connotation in order to stimulate the melatonin.

    The Pheonix rising is acknowledging a woman/lady who is secure in her mannerisms and thought process; when conveyed in a fluid confident manner, indicates control of the process with a suttle undertone that needs no further explanation of deliverables.

    Only if the female encounters an irresistible temptation does she falter as a babe from her remarkable intelligence.

    Much to the contrary of her counterpart called a baby where nievity takes center stage and tossing to and fro in emotional chatter that can be paid by buyers a plenty to hear a mutter, groan it any sound without strain.

    Anonymous, one would think you are an ocean sailor and there is nothing one could teach such a salty dog of the sea.

    You have taught me plenty? Yet salty is not the sea for me to see nor be.

  37. Ms. Phoenix Rising says:

    (Random question….why does my image show……random answering of self…thank goodness I don’t mind my face showing LOL)
    Anyway, this is a very needed thread because so many sugar daddies feel entitled to turn all of these ladies into causal sex workers and for some that is not what they wish to be. The arrangement doesn’t have to be all about sex but I think the female should stress that before she meets unless that is how she wishes the arrangement to be and it’s acceptable between both.
    I set boundaries and I have expectations, I know this makes me a but undesirable to most to be clear if it was just sex work I was after….this is not the place to be. I do think that some men will appreciate a woman who can state her actual needs while understanding his as well….but that comes with a lot of mental maturity and that often explains why they want babies and not women.

    • Anonymous says:

      In plain English: you want to collect money and give nothing in return.

      • Anonymousl says:

        I finally place something in plain English only to see it vaporize behind the scenes.

        She can set you at ease by lowering herself to her knees all the while requesting; “Please”.

        This mentality is projected by the comment calling you a “client”.

        How many dates have failed here by mentalities called; *When in Rome* acting like it is a labor crisis of a ball and chain here, rather than a soothing, sought after ointment where each are held as “honored guests”.

        Take a poll. Raise your hand if you prefer your fish eaten from a tin can? Now, raise your hand if you prefer to eat fish that you catch in fresh water?

        Ms. Pheonix Rising has explained the difference as have others, back in the day.

      • Ms. Phoenix Rising says:

        No….that is more in imbecile terms……it’s understandable that your comprehension skills are maybe not up to par……but please…..get there. I won’t go back and forth with anonymous.

      • Ms. Phoenix Rising says:

        edited…….LOL
        So, you interpret understanding his needs as returning nothing……you don’t need to be here…you need to be on a very different page.

    • Another anonymous says:

      @ Ms.Phoenix

      Maybe arrangements do not have to be mostly about intimacy. But we can also safely assume that SDs from the right target demographics have a long list of colleagues, business partners, interns, students or others who they cannot be intimate with but who will gladly join them for wining/dining or social functions.

      • Anonymous says:

        These women target lonely men for a reason.

      • Ms. Phoenix Rising says:

        I cannot seem to get past how most of you just seem to need prostitutes but not arrangements……..let me say this in a way that a 6 year old would get it…..Sometimes, gentlemen want to be heard, they want to be appreciated and even dare I say it adored and most of that doesn’t come from sex….it just doesn’t. So when I say a lot of arrangements don’t have to be basically about sex, I am suggesting that he has other needs that also need to be met. I’m a bit older than most and am a veteran. My arrangements often last more than a year to be frank, are very upfront and tend to be very emotionally rewarding for both. I’m good at being Mistress…..not just a baby with needs that does not know how to please. Most of you are guys I would not deal with as you are better suited for other pages and not actual arrangements. It’s easy to be a revolving door…..it takes skill to be one he calls for years. Longest situation lasted 5 years to be exact.

      • FedUpAnon says:

        I get that talking to my daughter.

      • FedUpAnon says:

        For free.

      • Ms. Phoenix Rising says:

        I’m sure you do…and probably cannot afford a real sugar baby….I say…if you want to talk to your child do that…but when you are ready for an adult NSS situation you try for a woman who can state her needs…and if you cannot meet them as seems the case….that you run back to your daughter LOL…and ask your child to wear high heels and a short mini. Seems legit.

      • Cali Dan says:

        The sugar starts when the panties hit the floor. Bottom line. (Unless you are impotent, then you may have other things you want). It’s simple. We have money. Girls have sex. We are both reluctant to part ways with what the other wants.

      • Ms. Phoenix Rising says:

        I’m far from reluctant to part ways with what I have…..I’m generous LOL…and have a love for life…..I just however can tell a stingy man from a mile away…if he is reluctant to part ways with his cash I allow him to keep it and I move on in another direction….while I am here….unlike most of these girls….I am not….I am self sufficient and just like a good time…..I don’t have a need for any mans’t things….I work just like they do in real life and can afford my own. This allows me to be in control….and to not have to deal with men like you.

      • Calli Dan says:

        Got ourselves a bitter baby here boys.

      • Ms. Phoenix Rising says:

        Well at least you have that part right CaliDan…….there are some boys here…but no bitter babies. I don’t even like the term baby as I’m a bit too age mature lol……and my mentality and sexuality is anything but “baby”.
        I just like to have what I want….not what the supposed SD wants to offer…..I know it’s off putting for you guys who like more docile women…..I am not one of them.

    • Another anonymous says:

      @ Ms.Phoenix

      There are obviously absolutely lonely men, who are willing to pay cash to be heard and appreciated. My point is that vast majority of potential SDs have a long list of ladies, that would like to hear them and appreciate their company for free. But due to workplace and other restrictions, they cannot be intimate with them. Why would a successful academic surgeon pay somebody to listen to him over lunch? There is an almost infinite list of students, residents, former residents and drug reps. But he cannot be intimate with them.

      • Gtt_envy says:

        I agree, when I was active I had plenty of women to talk to, share qith, friends, family, kids, I don’t need a SB to be that.

        I need a “friend with benefits” who is sexy, cute, and for me of unattainable status. That’s the perk!!

        It’s she is 22, bubbly, fun, tight as hell, etc and I’m 40+ preferably we get along, talk, share, etc.

        Friends with benefits

      • Ms. Phoenix Rising says:

        You answered your own question…….you cannot be intimate with them…the way you make it sound is that you could also use a blow up doll…and continue talking to your co workers…seems like a legit plan LOL….or you can just call a SB with no brain but a large set of needs who you can be intimate with….but not have a legit conversation with LOL….such a trade off……no man of actual value would want. I date men of value regardless of the situation….if I just wanted to sleep with men for cash….there is a better job with a much higher turn over LOL…

  38. Anonymous says:

    There are women with big plans/expenses/loans and there are women with down-to-earth needs. What a man gets out of either of these women is pretty much the same. That latter would be more appreciative if you decided to spoil them.

  39. Amy says:

    Has anyone had someone agree to pay you one amount and them you realize that he screwed you out of money? When I called him out on it, he said he took the cost of the hotel out of money. I told him that was not cool and that I would not see him agree since this whole deal is about trust and honesty. I want to make sure this doesn’t happen in the future. Obviously I will count the money in front of him…discreetly. But what else could I have done to avoid this?

    • anon says:

      Honey I had two people agreeing to pay me and never ever seeing a penny…they just fuck you over and leave you like a piece of rubbish

      • seriously?!? says:

        @ Amy & Anon:

        Use common sense. Have men pay upfront, not afterward. Then you will not have that problem. Do not trust without a history of trust being built.

    • Anonymous says:

      Not much. If you like this guy in other aspects then continue with him otherwise move on.

      • Amy says:

        I was actually relieved to have a reason not to see him again. So I guess it was a small price to pay to ditch him.

    • Ms. Phoenix Rising says:

      Honestly you could have just counted the money. There is nothing inherently rude about counting your money when the two of you understand you already have a set upon agreement. It is nature and reasonable to make sure that all loose ends are tied during that meeting so that no hard feelings are developed. Both of you are adults so I don’t think that handling this part of the deal maturely should be a problem.

    • Ms. Phoenix Rising says:

      I am responsible and mature, if the client is not…that is his fault isn’t it? Why should I feel uncomfortable dealing in the matters we already discussed? Being polite is one thing….being naive and gullible is another.

      • Anonymous says:

        Pro speaketh pro language. Most of us doth not liketh pros though. :)

      • Ms. Phoenix Rising says:

        I know….most of you like those you can take a bit of advantage of…..the type who will chase you and beg you for attention and allowance….I get some guys need an ego boost…….Some guys just want a mature, no drama filled experience. Call it what you want…..but don’t call me making demands LOL enjoy!

    • duh says:

      money before play

  40. FedUpAnon says:

    A potential SB I have been chatting to has gone from 40 to 31 overnight. She still looks 40

    • Anonymous says:

      LOL!

    • Anonymous says:

      I see that all the time — especially the women 35+. You can safely assume that 99% of them have shaved 10 years. You will also see the younger ones 18,19 etc are suddenly 21 or 22. There is a woman on the site who works in my field (she doesn’t know that I know she is on the site). Anyways, she just recently changed her profile age from 42 to 39 and I know for a fact from my conversations with her that she is 58.

    • Anomomomom says:

      I did that once to see if I would get more views but I actually went from 26 to 35.
      So sad that more men liked me older than younger. Whomp Whomp.

      • Anonymous says:

        Are you also selling waterfront properties in Nebraska? With a nice view of both Atlantic and Pacific coast?

    • Anonymous says:

      Almost ALL women 28+ have wrong age.

      • Ms. Phoenix Rising says:

        Not all….I use my authentic age….I am happy to look as I do and to be my age. I’m in my 30’s and I’m okay with it even though I honestly know a lot of guys prefer their babies a lot younger.

    • Anonymous says:

      One SB uses multiple accounts with a six-year age span, although it’s unmistakably the same person. I guess that Schrödinger’s SB has multiple ages until you actually meet.

      • Amy says:

        I use my real age and seem to have plenty of options…my photos are current, I think that is the key.

  41. anon says:

    I had a horrible experience recently..this used here we met once to discuss an arrangement then he wanted straight forward intimacy, I told him I will see how we feel next time we meet and he was soo “we are in a arrangement now, I will look after you both financially and emotionally” etc…when we met the second time he took me straight to a hotel but I felt uncomfortable and wanted to leave, however he forced himself on me and there was nothing i can do, I tried screaming but it didn’t help…he then just left me and blocked my number…I feel so used like a piece of rubbish and I don’t know whether to call the police or what am I supposed to do…I tried reporting him to seeking arrangement, however I received no reply, probably cause he is a “premium” member and I’m not

    • Anomomomom says:

      If he raped you, report it. It doesn’t matter the arrangement. You said no and he didn’t stop. But also if you don’t want to report, please go get yourself checked out emotionally and physically.

    • Anomomomom says:

      This happened to me. Twice. Find someone you trust. There are a lot if sex work groups on facebook and probably from meet-up.com. they can help and support you.

    • Anonymous says:

      You should definitely report the incident. On the other hand, why did you go to that hotel room without feeling comfortable to proceed with intimacy?

      • anon says:

        So I should be blamed because I could not continue with the intimacy? honestly at first I thought I could but then when we went to the hotel room he started talking to me disgracefully and before we even did something I tried to leave…unfortunately I wasn’t let to do so…

    • Calli dan says:

      Did he rape you or did you scream and fuss and he just took off and blocked you? False reporting a rape will get you in some serious shit, but if you were actually raped, you need to go to the police.

      • anon says:

        I’m not sure what use would be to report it….from what he said he seems to be a man with excessive possession of money so of course he will get the best lawyers to back him up…That’s the main reason why I don’t want to report it to the police…but he DID rape me, I wasn’t just fussing and screaming…what I don’t get is why seeking arrangement is still allowing this man on the website as well.

    • Anonymous says:

      Since you have waited too long you might have lost the evidence which rape kit would have gathered but nonetheless contact a rape support group and explore your options at this time.

    • Fish says:

      Not even a question. Call the police, there is no situation that even justifies a “Man”, he’s no fuckin’ man, forcing himself on a woman when she say’s no. It’s not even a debate, that’s pathetic for anyone to even try to put any blame on the woman….

      • Anonymous says:

        No one is putting a blame “on the woman”. Most of us are suggesting that since some time has passed it may take more effort from her part to take action against him.

        She needs to take action against him. The first step is to talk to some kind of support group.

        However, IF she does not want to pursue that path then she needs to do whatever she can to move on.

        Not everyone has the time, energy or circumstances to bring violators to task.

    • Ms. Phoenix Rising says:

      This is terrible and I would report it. I would then learn to follow my first instincts and not deal with anyone that tried to pressure me before I was ready. Being a sugar baby is hard because is does seem to straddle the line….but it is still your choice and you have the right to decline. Reporting this could save other women.

      • Anonymous says:

        Ms. Phoenix is a SugarOOMAN and not a Sugarbaby.

      • Would it matter either way?

        What’s the point of your comment, Anonymous? And what, at all, does it have to do with Phoenix’s and related posts?

        Please dont. We’ve seen the manifestations of homophobia as of late.

    • Urnotalone says:

      Sex-work scammers are rarely prosecuted for rape, and McNeill feels that they should be. “Consent obtained under false pretenses is not consent, and sex without consent is rape,” McNeill says. “Because sex work is in the shadows, even when women do report, there’s a tendency among the ‘good people,’ and that includes good women, to shame them—to say, ‘You had it coming’ or ‘Sex work is rape anyway.'”

    • Anonymous says:

      Wow that is really scary still report it. Don’t give up, that was a criminal act. Never put yourself in a situation you aren’t comfortable in. Thanks for posting.

  42. Anonymous says:

    Boo

  43. Anonymous says:

    Last comment for a while. Setting boundaries…

    Asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness. Have you ever met a student who ask for help that was looked at as weak? Have you surveyed an entrepreneur who has asked for help for funding amd was looked at as lazy and weak? Have you looked at a Hollywood actor who was trying out for a million dollar headliner spot and looked at as a weak actor for trying? No, no, no, and no!

    So why look at a SB as a weak individual for showing sincerity, trying to be good to you, trying to be good to herself and trying to provide while the ladies are dished out offensive offers and treated like a greasy car salesman.

    Not trying…that is the tragedy amongst us all.

  44. Anonymous says:

    Versus (vs)…not “bs”.

  45. another anonymous says:

    Apologies for the multiple posts.

  46. LdyBoss says:

    Loving this article!! It seems at times women get automatically rejected when we try to set boundaries! I guess some SD’s feel the have the power in the situation as another person posted. To me power is an illusion you may think you have power but its really just the other person letting you take charge either because they trust or are afraid. In this case some women are afraid to ask for what they want or set limits because it may lead to not having a sugar daddy. The key is being complete in yourself, before seeking any type of relationship; that’s including casual relationships. Ladies have your own money or at least something going Before looking for a sugar daddy. That way you are not compromising yourself and doing something you are not comfortable with just for money.
    People just need to drop the power games! Money is great. Sex is great. You need to have a lot more to offer than a nice bank account or a juicy va jay jay. Don’t come into the situation with a sense of entitlement. Nobody on this planet owes you a damn thing. Respect one another.That is my two cents..Ciao!

  47. Anonymous says:

    @ Australian Anonymous

    However, any time spent with a gentlemen is time I can’t be earning else where. That time could be a minimal wage hourly job or a full blown career – either way I’m using my time with someone else, shouldn’t it be compensated?

    Yes, but nearly by definition SD should be making substantially more money than the SB. So if you expect compensation based on your full blown career, then your pool of potential SDs might be very small indeed.

    I was nearly trying to articulate the concept that in effect it is the exchange of time for money/gifts (content of that time aside).

    Yes, but vast majority of SDs would consider the content of the time absolutely essential in determining the allowance. After all you would be probably surprised if your attorney friends charge you their usual hourly rate for accepting your invitation to a party. :-)

    • Anonymous says:

      As I’ve said multiple times…I fully understand that the content is determinative of the money received. I GET SEX PAYS MORE! I’ve never denied that. The sentence ‘content aside’ was just a short hand way of saying… ‘the concept of a sugar daddy relationship is the exchange of her time, whether you are are having dinner, or a full blown session in the bed room, in exchange for money or gifts! I thought it was obvious and quicker to say money for time, content aside.

      And again…’shouldn’t I/her/she be compensated’ – I’m not saying it is the value of a career. Some people might think that, that an allowance is a replacement to a job, in which case she should be with you at least 9-5! ME, PERSONALLY the point I am making….is simply that the so called ‘expected amount’, the amount the guy wants to pay in my experience of reading these threads is a sadly lesser amount that I believe to be correct.
      And yes, I have at least a basic understanding of the world and business to get that the market determines this in many ways. I was simply trying to point out that many women who SAY NO THANK YOU MR $300…as unfairly called delusional or stupid – it’s just them saying no, changing the ‘market’. Will all women say no and drive the average price up? Probably not! But those who choose to are not delusional, just having a higher standard. My original post IF READ CALMLY WITHOUT men getting all ‘bloody woman’ was NOT that I’m disheartened men wont pay me more. It was that I was disheartened at the attitude of some men about those who do want more. Say no, walk away. If a women screws you over, and takes your money but doesnt show after the first few times, shame on her! But men who are frequently so rude about women who simply turned down their offer…reeks of little man syndrome or some kind of egotistical issue.
      She can be delusional, he can be tight, its disheartening that my research has shown the men to typically be incredibly rude about the women simply believe they are worth more.
      I meant no offence to anyone in the post.

  48. Another anonymous says:

    @ Australian Anonymous

    However, any time spent with a gentlemen is time I can’t be earning else where. That time could be a minimal wage hourly job or a full blown career – either way I’m using my time with someone else, shouldn’t it be compensated?

    Yes, but nearly by definition SD should be making substantially more money than the SB. So if you expect compensation based on your full blown career, then your pool of potential SDs might be very small indeed.

    I was nearly trying to articulate the concept that in effect it is the exchange of time for money/gifts (content of that time aside).

    Yes, but vast majority of SDs would consider the content of the time absolutely essential in determining the allowance. After all you would be probably surprised if your attorney friends charge you their usual hourly rate for accepting your invitation to a party. :-)

  49. Another anonymous says:

    @ Australian Anonymous at 11.31

    That time could be a minimal wage hourly job or a full blown career – either way I’m using my time with someone else, shouldn’t it be compensated?

    Yes, it is fair to expect compensation for your time. On the other hand I think it is a bit odd to set the expectation for say spending three hours in the opera by the hourly rate of the escort in your town.

    If you set your expectation by the value of your time in the regular job, that is a different issue. That is why ladies with poorly paying jobs can find sugar a reasonable source of income. A secretary with high school education can expect to make around 100 dollars a day in my town. Her pool of potential SDs is very large. But if you do have a full blown career and try to set the expectation based on your regular career income, your pool of potential SDs might be very limited indeed. That pretty blond interventional radiologist in my town can make about $ 300 an hour. Even if she is looking for a SD, she will have to wait for a long while.

    I do not know where on that scale of career and income you are, but my guess is that it is quite high, so your pool of SD must be extremely small, probably not even the whole top percentile of men based on the income and assets.

  50. Anonymousl says:

    If it’s joint &. Woman Inspires the man casually or cannot imagine their life without the others Inspiration In their life. Every body in life is crazy. It is simply a matter of: can u deal with “this” crazy..naturally, the one who is a bitch and doesn’t want u.. Hot damn, she is a coveted piece. The one who would like the soles of ur feet and wake u up every morning like no one else…she is dismissed, On SA bc she I too kind and caring. Realize please that u create your drama based on your myths from bs from people that do nothd a candle to the wind to mean shit in your life…yet, j too u age, it rules your world. No wonder women want old ass men. I want one in his 40’s and owe to 50. I promise he will make me drop 10 lbs I. One week to be a lean mean ducking machine. Give me a farmera walk like I am struggling to sit baby. See what I mean fellas. JEEEEESSSSUUUUUSSSS. Please bring that man back to me naked. Gloria never forgotten. Stop being cheap u guys,

  51. YetiSD says:

    So many profiles are the same, or have high numbers in strange areas. I am sure this is another AM..

  52. Another anonymous says:

    @ Anonymous and Catch 22

    Ultimately it is the market. I understand that SBs hate P4P and they would prefer an allowance from the get go. But then how many no name attorneys can get a retainer without even winning a case? How many star professional expert witnesses managed to avoid starting on case by case basis?

    • Anonymous says:

      I was asked by a SB that she wanted 3K upfront. Out of curiosity I asked her what if she just disappeared after I gave her 3K upfront. She replied she would not. So yeah, I was going to go ahead and troll her more, but I gave up. Some of the women on here are way more delusional and lacking in common sense than I had imagined.

      • Anonymous says:

        I had one contact me today. LOL! I think I have a winner.
        What I’m Looking for
        Im Looking To Be Spoiled And In Return We Can Go On Dates Talk On The Phone Etc. NO Sex Involved.

      • Anonymously says:

        Oh, I want sex monsiure, for sure. I simply am not a cow who is milked by anyone who is thirsty. I thirst as the next. In the right hands, I am quenched and thirst no more. My God…a man who is sexually charged 24/7 and not the lame o hit it and quit it type considering I will satisfy myself before that hoorah that is nothing more than a hour ballon a car salesman sells from hot air. Yikes. See the difference? Want to hear a song about it? Want to hear it? Lmao.. As soon as I sign up, I will be playing catch up. I believed ya’lls rubbish that I wasn’t shit.o and behold…ha damn right, 675 men and counting are Interested. What wS his name I was hooked on? Can’t fucking remember bc he doesn’t make an impression anymore. Fist bump- boo yah!

      • Anonymous says:

        Hilarious! I just started using the site again and I am noticing the same thing. I was thinking I must be crazy or my expectations are off. I am seeing a lot of women wanting huge allowances for just hanging out. “Non-Sexual” they say. If they are getting that from some guys out there, more power to them. If this is some new type of revolution, it needs to stop. It’s complete B.S

    • Anonymous says:

      When I discussed allowance I did mean after a while. Apologies for not adding this but I in fact don’t think an allowance from the start is a good idea!
      Firstly men are of course being asked to put up a lot upfront and its risky – fully appreciate this.
      Secondly I think it risks a potential pressure with the women. If you met someone and you think they seem nice, and you want to give it time to grow, it needs some degree of being organic. If a women is given a large chunk of money at the start I have always wondered does is risk creating a feeling of obligation or duty. If so maybe this risks tainting the potential to have genuine SD relationship which is based and grown on a real connection.
      Maybe, maybe not, but I know I would feel more comfortable with pay per meet at the start.

    • Ms. Phoenix Rising says:

      I believe the issue here is more of what you can legally say and what you cannot that makes the profiles all read the same. This site specifies no sex workers so it’s reasonable to see how most younger women would interpret that as “no sex for the exchange of money” so you need to gracefully glide into that moment of conclusion. Granted, I understand the ridiculousness of someone wanting 3grand upfront….with no returns. I say….find a way to communicate and make sure you’re not dealing with young girls with irrational needs or any girl with an immediate need if she is not willing to meet your immediate needs….however with that; if both parties are asking for immediate gratifications….just be honest and move along with it or don’t.

      • LovingMsPhoenix says:

        Yes! I am a SB on this site as well, and the limitations put upon us for what we are allowed to say in our profiles is a bit too harsh if you ask me. I understand that this site isn’t meant to be used for being a hooker, and that’s not what I want either, but I don’t understand why we aren’t allowed to say that we enjoy sex, or things we like, whereas the SDs are allowed to essentially say anything without their profile being denied. I happen to love sex, I’ve always been a sexual person and it’s part of my personality, but I have to cut it out completely for my profile to be approved. It gets frustrating. Then to add in the fact that almost every man I have met on here, with no prior expectations set by me, come at me right away stating essentially they only want sex and nothing more, and then get upset when I say I don’t mind that but tell them what I usually receive as P4P, which isn’t much considering what hookers make and I wind up spending the same time doing the deed and only asked $200 per meeting. Honestly, I wish I could find men like you do who want all of their needs met and not just sex. I’m starting to feel like a glorified hooker.. And don’t get me started on how many times a guy has tried to use me, a few times successfully, or supposedly meeting with another girl that day, and always choosing her when in fact looking back it seems they definitely were just using me and used a cheap lie to get away with it. It’s getting to the point that I feel I might as well just go be a prostitute, at least I’d be earning my money and not having all the head games. (-_-) The men on this comment section are just furthering my thoughts on that, as they all sound exactly like the men I’ve dealt with before.

      • Ms. Phoenix Rising says:

        To clarify they find me….I have not once found them. This has also been over a 6 year span between the two of them. I am and was and was always good to them. One got married and one moved on rightfully so. I post my images and I am upfront about my lifestyle up front and everywhere I go. People tend to know what I’m about no matter what……I live to be single….I live to enjoy my self and how I spend my time and by no means does that mean I want to be used and abused by men just because I choose this life. 200 is a good starting point but it does put you in the category with sex workers which is cool with me…..just (according to this site) not for the site. Unfortunately all I have seen is guys wanting cheap escorts who will offer more under the guise of being a sugar baby and then getting their feelings hurt. This is my authentic user name and face…..so I don’t hide my intentions but I do demand respect. I do not wish to be an escort as I am well aware of other places better suited for it than here. Guys act like they don’t know what they are doing and like we are naive…some are some not so much. Don’t let them hurt your ego….just enjoy what you are doing and move along.

  53. Anonymous says:

    “I have been contacted by 675 men on a regular dating site,” says an “SB”.

    If you have 675 potential suiters and you are still here what does that tell you?

    • Anonymous says:

      That those 675 “suitors” just wanted to hit and quit for free, hence she came here. duh!

      • Anonymously says:

        I am blushing and attended that you block me yet use my true, factual statistical data. Who loves u? I heart u big time sexy! :)

  54. Cali Dan says:

    Look, the dynamic here isn’t as complicated as you all are making it out to be. There are 2 groups – Males and Females. Each have a thing the other wants, yet they are reluctant to give up. Men have money but don’t want to be taken. Women have sex and also don’t want to be taken. That means there needs to be a “first move”. Logic would dictate the person that has the least power in this dynamic needs to go first. This would be the women (there are more SB than SD by far). It’s just that simple.

    • Anonymous says:

      Cali Dan, SB’s get WAY more messages than SD’s even though there are more women than men on this site. My female friend is a SB on this site, she is average in terms of looks and gets around 8-10 message a day. The problem is, a lot of these messages are from SD’s who are supposedly visiting from another cities and want to do the p4p arrangements. Many are also unclear about their expectations. And way too many findom messages that downright weird her out. So, essentially, many of the SB’s want to be spoiled and are willing to participate in the game but they get overwhelmed by the predatory/weird energy that a lot of men on here give off.

      • Anonymous says:

        Reasonable observations.

      • Anonymous says:

        Temper tantrums? To those with whom the tantrums apply, I applaud you for the insight of your commentarial note.

        The Depressing factor,
        IMHO,..are the sexually frustration who would willingly pay, jump another’s bones and ravish the other and continue in constant extasy on an on-going basis as a
        Win-win for both parties experiencing hyper-attentative satisfaction guaranteed. Trust me, it exists and the female does not have to be an escort, desperate, or any other derogatory name.

        The same way the men on this site are not desperate, broke, poor, cheap, nor uneducated in the sexual sanctum of the “bedroom”; called anywhere you want it to be.

        If you seek to please and are honorable and deliver to the person with whom you created a relationship with, trust, boundaries or none…the relationship is defined by two people. Me and you, you and me. Not: “you, me, he and she makes three”….Unless of course, you swing that way.

        Opinions are like assholes…we all have one. And the choir said: “Amen”, Yes Lawd; “Amen again!” 😉

    • LdyBoss says:

      If someone is thinking of a Sugar relationship as a means of exchanging power thren perhaps they should just consider either hiring or becoming a dominatrix and taking turns being the sub/dom… Men and women who play powers games are not men/women they are little kids throwing manipulative temper tantrums to have things their way.

  55. sd with open eyes says:

    Wow, lots of anger on this blog.

    For what it is worth, here is what I am looking for in a Sugar Baby:

    1) Someone who has not already demonstrated that they have no aptitude for handling money.

    2) Someone who has not already demonstrated that they have no aptitude for relationships.

    3) Someone who is cute and has a likeable personality.

    • LdyBoss says:

      Really? Not a lady in the street freak in the sheet that jumps whenever daddy says “jump”. And strokes daddys ego real hard…

      • Anonymous says:

        Lol +1 on what it feels like when men notice not the effort we go through for them. It takes trial and error to see that the ones who do not notice are salt. Salt goes both ways.

        Appreciate the ones who add flavor to your life and enrich you bs. The ones who give you heart blockage like a heart attack. :)

        Big difference.

      • sd with open eyes says:

        @LdyBoss: Not particularly. That sort of a woman would make me feel that she was working me. A little bit of being sassy can be exciting.

    • Anomomomom says:

      Not someone fit, cute, loves to laugh, and takes care of herself?

      • sd with open eyes says:

        @Anomomomom Not good enough. What if the profile says that she is “fit, cute, loves to laugh, and takes care of herself” but her profile also says that she has a mountain of gambling debt that she got while trying to drown her sorrows from 150 failed relationships?

      • Anonymousl says:

        Gambling debt sounds more like a man wanting a man and hiding behind pretending to be a SB on a blog in order to get advice.

    • Ldyboss says:

      Now if sugar babies like me can clone your mentality that would be great!

  56. Anonymous says:

    All the threads below these articles are so disheartening for someone new considering this.
    I fully believe that you are stupid to think a guy will pay you something for nothing, and that the contents of the relationship will clearly dictate the amount you can expect in return for your time but the attitude of men is really off putting to potential SB! After a lot of researching this I think there is a giant flaw in this system.
    You want a SB as opposed to an outright hooker correct? And not all of you are going to be Tom Hardy lookalikes. You want her to be classy and good looking, educated, funny, considerate, willing to sleep with you, potentially on call, listen to you and in effect be a girlfriend with zero drama of a having a girlfriend…no remembering birthdays, meeting the folks, arguing if you cancel last minute.
    Aside from a women who want something for nothing the only thing harder to understand is why men want this near mythical women but wont pay for her? And I mean actually pay, pay big. She is a commodity, a bloody rare one by the sounds of it listening to you all, but all I read is how men don’t want to pay (from both men and women!). I looked at the price of an hour with an escort in the city I live in and for a semi decent one you are looking at AU$500, easily more for some.
    So how is a whole evening of a SB time not worth four five times that? Is the thinking that part of what she gets is not only monetary but the experience as a whole because correct me if I’m wrong but YOU are the one who wants to go to the fancy restaurant, you are the one who doesn’t want to sit alone OR with a hooker at $500 an hour.
    Im 24, educated at one of the top three universities in the world (rankings change yearly), work out, I’m 5ft7 and weigh about 120lbs so I would say slim, having great knowledge of current affairs and think I can hold decent conservations, have a dry sense of humour and I’m pretty easy to get on with…(well I’m bias but I’ve never had a problem meeting new people!) I modelled part time to pay for some of my uni tuition so I think I’d pass looks wise. I wanted to look into this world because I enjoy older men and I was becoming frustrated with guys my own age, with the right chemistry I’m an open person (yes, read that as sex would be a green light!) and I actually enjoy meeting new people. BUT I have goals in life, big plans, and I need additional financial (yes, read that as I want to be paid for my time! You don’t work for free, why should I?)
    Having read all of these threads it just seems hopeless, like no one ever actually meets men willing to pay substantial amounts over a longer period of time. And it seems like men automatically reject you if you state anything but negotiable, even though I know I would never settle for an allowance less than $3000. Guess I should give up!

    • Anonymous says:

      You should. With that kind of attitude.

    • Anonymous says:

      Sooner the better indeed.

    • Randi says:

      Sweetie, you sound like the kind of SB every man dreams of. But there are plenty of men out there who think that holding out for the money we want makes us “delusional”. I’ve discovered that there are many message boards out there, where salt daddies congratulate each other on giving beautiful girls next to nothing for sex, and in some cases they even brag about getting out of giving her a dime (after they con her into having sex with false promises of allowances or by giving them empty gift cards, etc.). These are the guys you have to watch out for – they prey on the new and naive girls. It’s gut-wrenching to read.
      The guys who post here don’t want to hear this, but there are plenty of men happy to pay more than they are.
      I’m on the older side for a SB, and it took me a couple of months, but I found a wonderful Sugar Daddy. I negotiated an allowance that I am very happy with, and he spoils me with gifts and wonderful nights out. Furthermore, he treats me with respect, and hasn’t pushed me into sex (we agreed it will happen when the time is right).
      As much as the guys here will probably call me a liar, I promise you that I’m not. I got everything I wanted by holding on to my self-respect and by being patient (and I can assure you, my SD is thrilled with me as well!)
      Those great guys are out there, I promise. It will just take some time and a few dates to find him. Don’t compromise your values and desires in the meantime.
      (Furthermore, I suspect that the caliber of men you are looking for don’t have the spare time nor the inclination to post here. My SD certainly wouldn’t.)

      • Anonymous says:

        To Randi, yes, those daddies are rare so goof for you. Let me ask, is he a much older daddy? The SB’s dream is to find a man who will pay as much as possible and ask as little as possible in return. The same goes for a SD. From my experience, the allowances are rare these days, especially when there is no intimacy involved, unless the guy is too old, is maybe getting some ass on the side from other babies, or just has shit ton of money to spend, but again, very very rate, so congrats on your find.

      • Anonymous says:

        Thank you Randi! Congratulations on your SD, you sound very happy. Maybe I’ll hold out for a little long and see! x

      • immortal walker says:

        To Randy; I think that nobody is stating that there are no SDs out there who are happy to give an good allowance and not expect sex in return (it will happen when the time is right on Feb 29th).
        What the SD community is saying is that those SDs are a very small minority. The understanding, good looking, respectful Tom Hardy look alike with discretionary money to spend on a SB, it is definitely a small group. With that said, does it matter that a pot SB waits two months or two years for her perfect SD? It does not because either is already taken, or there is none left. Or, she has to wait until one of those SDs begins looking for a replacement SB, and then the opportunity presents itself. That happens, but just not for every SB.
        What is more reasonable is that a SB has see what it is available in terms of attraction, and allowance.
        I met a SB whom I offered $1,000 for four meetings in a month, multi-hour. She felt “offended”, her words “I am worth a lot more than that!”. She failed to see that the allowance offered was not a payment for what she was worth. I continued my search, and finally found one I liked, and she immediately took on the offer. Almost eight months into the arrangement with the new one, the previous one inboxes that she is ready to take me on the offer. Unfortunately, I am already committed to this new one, I thanked her for following-up, but told her about the new arrangement. She confessed she should have taken it when she had the chance. Wished me good luck, I did the same in her search.
        So first, before all, it is about a relationship that one would establish with a girlfriend (with less headaches and drama some say), and then we get into compensating for her time based on what the SD has available; it is not about worth of the SB. Having said that, the younger very attractive SBs command more allowance than the older not so attractive ones. That is just how the market behaves.

    • Anonymous says:

      Well, the older the SD, the more he will have to pay for a SB’s time than his younger, better looking counterpart. The thing is, the market determines price. YOU don’t. You location, your competition, etc … determine the price. If you there are 9 SB’s of equal attractiveness/personality who are willing to take a let’s say, $2000 allowance a month, then, guess what, you are out of luck. Now, if an averege SB is fetching $4000 a month, then yes, you are going to win out.

      Looks like you like in Australia, but I for example live in a city in North Carolina, where an average rent is $1200 dollars and there is no shortage of 19-27 year old’s who will have to work 100 hours to make that money (two weeks) so these girls are happy to get $1200 a month in exchange of hanging out with me for 2-3 hour a week. I a decent looking, 40 year old guy, who just does not have time for traditional dating, so I prefer NSA, casual relationships, and I have paid up to $2000 a month, which, again, in this market, is pretty decent, provided they can pay their rent, their car payment, plus go do major shopping in exchange of being in my company for 2-3 hours a week. And I also wine them and dine them, and sometime if they want to make extra money, i will take them on a trip and give them extra 1,000.

      So, yes, if someone is messaging you and asking you to be intimate with them for 200 dollars, that’s probably a low ball offer, but if you find yourself a daddy who is relatively attractive, in good shape, fun to be around with, I think $2000 is plenty money to spend 2-3 hours with him.

      just my two cents.

    • Anonymous says:

      If you have got looks and personality and are a fun girl to be around with, I don’t have a problem paying you 3,000 a month, but if you expect to hang out with me only 1-2 a month, that’s kind of pricey honestly.

      Just out of curiosity, how much time are you willing to spend with your potential SD for that amount?

      I would pay that for someone like you if you spent 2 evenings a week with me. All the dinners/shows/sporting events/travel extra, but I would want to be intimate with you during our hangout, unless we are just having dinner or going to a show, if that makes sense.

      • Anonymous says:

        I think each arrangement is different, and chemistry is certainly important for determining content but I am most certainly not opposed to intimacy. I don’t think a person can/should expect much for their time if the arrangement on that particular day was simply dinner, or hanging out aka platonic. I think twice a week with a fair mix of both kinds of meetings has plenty of potential.
        I know talking in hypotheticals is difficult but may I ask a question? The more I research this whole world/life style the more I actually start to the see an appeal to both options – allowance or paying per meet. I know many people aren’t fond of pay per meet but I think it removes a legitimate concern men have about not getting good value (and also on a personal level provides a degree of freedom from myself in case I am unable to fulfil the arrangement if I was say ill) but I’m intrigued as to what a gentlemen such as yourself would pay if it was pay per meet for both kinds of meetings (platonic and intimate), or are you someone who only prefers allowances?
        Thank you : )

      • Anonymous says:

        To Anon at 11:59 –
        I have had several types of arrangements before, some of them were purely pay per meet, and some were monthly allowance. I would not feel comfortable giving someone a monthly allowance right away unless we have established some sort of a relationship (couple months of hanging out.) I will give you examples –

        1) I had a SB who commuted to me once a week, her commute was 2 hours, so we agreed that she would get an allowance per meet. She would spend the night with me, we would grab dinner/watch a movie and with the exception of a few times, we were intimate. And I was giving her $400 per meet. This lasted for 5 or 6 months.

        2) I had a SB who lived close to me and she wanted about 2500-3000 monthly and after 2 months of seeing her, i was comfortable giving her half 1200 or so every two weeks, but until then it was pay per meet. I saw her for almost 1 year, and there were months when I would only be intimate with her 2 or 3 times a month, but there were months, when I would be intimate with her 2-3 times a week. She was a give by nature, so I did not mind or worry if she would or could not see me often in one month, cause i knew she would make it up to me the next month :)

        But long story short, I am comfortable giving in the 300-500 range per meet and I would expect intimacy. I rarely have paid for platonic hangouts, because the SB’s i had were happy to spend time with me and have dinner or go to a movie or a show. But if they were going to travel for a weekend getaway, I would pay in the 800-1000 range, and sometimes I would have sex with them and sometimes we would just chill.

        I hope this answered your question. It all depends on the situation honestly. If you are predictable and live close and we have a good connection, i am less transactional, but if you live far and going to see me 1-2 times a month, then i would rather pay you per visit.

      • Anomomomom says:

        But why do SDs think we have a lot of time to hang out? We sbs have jobs and other obligations. I mostly like my “me time”. I some financial help but I’m not on dating websites b.c I can’t invest a lot of time to someone.

        We can have fun times and great sex, but anything more than 4 times a month is asking too much.

        More time, more money b.c then I would have to sacrifice my time or work or other obligations.

    • Another anonymous says:

      Dear anonymous,

      On one hand you say you enjoy older men, on the other hand you consider being with them a work, that deserves to be compensated. This attitude would be a red flag serious enough.

      • Anonymous says:

        Im 24 – anything in the 30 plus is older to me! I’ve dated people my age and a few years younger. By enjoying older men I mean a man who has his sh*t together and understanding of the world beyond what Facebook or UniLad tells them.
        All sugar dating has a degree of ‘business’ involved no? Or as we like to call it ‘mutual benefitting’. Why is it a red flag that I should want to combine becoming better off in a financial capacity (maybe it be gifts, money etc) with seeing older me. If anything that just seems to make good sense to me. Money AND a good time. However, any time spent with a gentlemen is time I can’t be earning else where. That time could be a minimal wage hourly job or a full blown career – either way I’m using my time with someone else, shouldn’t it be compensated? And if the answer is no then surely that is just good old fashion dating? Being with someone because you want to and not for money. But this isn’t a dating site, its a SD site. I might want to be with an older man in the long run but at the moment I don’t…I want to use my time in the most financial beneficial way possible.
        It unfortunate you find that a red flag – I mean no offence. I was nearly trying to articulate the concept that in effect it is the exchange of time for money/gifts (content of that time aside).

      • Anonymos says:

        Lol, older men = good care, other than that, no point

      • Anonymous says:

        Flawed logic, do you charge your friends money when you go out and eat with them? Or should the SD charge you for taking you out to dinner because like you said the 2 hours he spend with you on dinner he could have been working instead.

        It all depends on how you view the relationship. to me a SD/SB relationship is pretty much like a bf/gf relationship except that the guy is well off or wealthy and is willing take care of you financially and spoil them. The more you girls view this as a transactional relationship and calculate by hours and meets the less the SD is going to appreciate it and the more he will see it a transactional relationship, meaning they are paying you for service rendered, most of the time that means that you are getting paid for sex. At this point what exactly does this make you. In the end i’m not going to judge anyone, there plenty of SD and SB that are looking for just that, more power to them.

        But i have a feeling there a lot of SD and SB that are not looking for that too. To me a sugar baby is pretty much like a GF, except that she expects me to help her out financially and spoil her from time to time, which i have no problems with. But the moment one makes it transactional by discussing hours spend together or how many meets a month, sorry but thats not going to work, i could eather treat you like a gf and spoil you or i can treat you like a employee that works for me because I’m paying you per hour or meet, not both.

    • gonegirl16 says:

      You nailed it! Don’t give up – I’ve had some fantastic experiences with men that truly understand what this sort of relationship are about. They are hard to find, yes, but they do exist

    • Anonymous says:

      Your issue is that you think you deserve AU 500 times 4 or 5, which is AU 2000-2500 per evening. Delusional much? If you enjoy the SD’s company, which you should, then AU 500 is probably a pretty decent comp for your time, especially if the evening involved being dined out, etc … I know a SB’s dream is to receive funds and just hang out with a SD, perhaps sit across the table from him and “keep him company” but does not work that way. Most want intimacy and the SB’s who think they can get few thousand dollars JUST for platonic hangouts, they are being delusional. I guess there are super wealthy out there who will give you those funds maybe even 5 or 10K a month, but be prepared to be their little sexy vixen available at the drop of the hat. Be reasonable and you will get your arrangement.

      AU 500 per hangout is plenty if you ask me. $500 is what really attractive 20 somethings are getting in places like NYC to spend on evening with a SD and most of them are intimate, if not all.

      As far as escorts, you have to understand that they are at much higher risk of being murdered and they DON’T get to choose who they sleep with.

      YOU DO HOWEVER.

      • Anonymous says:

        I think you have jumped the gun a bit with my message. I didn’t write ‘why wont you pay me all this money for nothing but my amazing company!’ I clearly stated I didn’t believe in something for nothing AND sex was certainly not off the table.
        Secondly I never said I wanted an hourly rate of $500 therefore $2000 for the night. The point to my message was that if an escort can make $500 in one hour by providing you with sex…why do you think you an entire evening of a girls time which also ends with sex is the same value? Why is it not more?
        You answer is what….safety? As someone who had close friends who escorted to pay for uni, high class agency provided significant protection, background checks and you can in fact say no to a profile before excepting – its a commission based job after all so your incentivised not to, but you can! So sorry but you’ve called me delusion for things I didn’t actually say, you jumped the gun in the same way most of these near ‘women hating threads’ read, and you great answer is to say the fact you wont murder me is why I could settle on $500 for my whole evening and sex…

    • Anonymous says:

      You mentioned $500 per hour.

      The agency gets half, so that’s $250 the hour.

      Then they take tax and health insurance out, leaving $170 the hour.

      Now, that is for a one off meeting. No guarantee of another meet.

      That sounds a pretty lowball sort of recompense to me. That’s 18 guys per month, 220 guys a year for the $3000 the month.

      Worth it?

    • Rick says:

      I don’t think we all expect, what you describe as a “perfect woman”, it would be nice but I think most of us, well some at least, are reasonable in our expectations. We’re hoping for pretty, friendly, dependable and sexy. Part of being an SB, as opposed to that other profession, is enjoying the nice restaurants you are taken to, or the upscale events that you could never afford on your own. It the only thing that matters to you in the cash….

      I’m sure you’re worth a $3000 allowance, but there just aren’t that many men who have $36,000 a year in disposable income. That probably limits it to men earning more that $500,000 a year. That’s a rare breed.

      • Anonymous says:

        That’s a really fair point well made. I think that in reality many successful SD relationships, probably the ones that have the most happiness involved, are those where there is a truly real chemistry. I know one of my friends who have had SD (to pay for tuition) said after a few months she enjoyed her time with their SD so much that while money was still involved the dynamic changed, such as they had sex more often previously discussed, and they met up more frequently, but for same amount.

        I think this is rare though – on the one hand many women wouldn’t be prepared to take the risk of ‘settling’ (or whatever word people want to use) for less money then they would like for the expected amount of time, but I also think many men also wouldn’t settle – they wouldn’t accept exchanging the same amount of money/gift but for less frequency in hopes the chemistry would grow. I probably wouldn’t risk it.
        No one is wrong, just perhaps both sides are missing out on something? Money is just the dominant factor I guess! : )

    • Anonymous says:

      I applaud your comments. You addressed the mentality as a female and yet and still…the comments abound as if you plagiarized the constitution.

      For the men who do not poke at you and say “run”, they are the good ones who would/will appreciate you and be thankful that you would literally lick the soles of their feet. Sweetheart, If they have never experienced it…it is no different than comprehending the complicated the fine print the IRS provides. They hire the concept out to a CPA. What does that tell you? If you are willing to be their beck and call and far from a call girl…they can’t love and honor what thy have mwer known without a 3rd party opening their eyes and showing the financial gain
      Called “extasy and peace”in which they know not, to date.

    • Anonymous says:

      I agree with Randi. You are the SB that I am looking for – although traveling from the US to meet would make it unworkable. Depending on your looks and how often your SD expects to see you $3K may be reasonable. It would be a little high for my budget but not far off. It is possible we would reach an accommodation. If not you would still know that you were respected and appreciated. Your views on the relationship are correct and any men who think otherwise aren’t true SD.

    • J says:

      I think the problem is on both sides though. The SB also want someone who is successful, not a complete loser socially and not completely unattractive.

      I think some of them really overvalue conversations, dates and dinner. I’m in that category. I have probably half a dozen women I could take to dinner or the theatre next week, but I don’t necessarily want to have a relationship with them. I’ve found that women in my age group are looking for relationships, but for a variety of reasons I’m not wanting to start one.

      But I’m fun, thoughtful, have excellent communication skills and keep being asked why I’m not single.

      At the same time I don’t really get my rocks off with the idea of keeping some princess in an apartment at my beck and call, particularly if, at best I might see her only a night or two a week.

    • Anonymous says:

      “All the threads below these articles are so disheartening for someone new considering this.”

      Don’t get dishartened by these comments – most of the nasty “sour grape” comments are posted by wannabes who are not even qualified to be SDs – in terms of finances, decency or both. You are the type of person I came here to meet and I would be happy to pay for time spent with someone who thinks like that (we live at the opposite ends of the world, so it’s not gonna happen, I’m just applauding your attitude which I wholehartedly agree with).

      I think that one of the problems that creates controversy here is there are to many wannabes here, men who want a girl out of their league, but actually don’t have the means to provide what such a girl would reasonably expect for their time and the “benefits” expected by the SD.

      Any “SD” who expects a girl out of their league to be with him without properly rewarding the SB is not really a SD but a wannabe who wants something he can’t afford and doesn’t deserve, like a guy driving a Toyota drooling over a Bentley.

  57. Stacy says:

    How should a woman in these arrangements approach the asking for her part of the arrangement without it sounding like they are using you? Although in joining this site you knew you would be attracting ladies who are attracted to your lifestyle initially?

    • Cali Dan says:

      It’s tough. The girls that come right out and ask for XXX$.. I pass on. If they are talking about money before we meet, that’s a pass. I think a real SD that is into you will kick you a few bucks in the first meeting (unsolicited). That’s what I usually do. Even if it’s just some gas money or something, that’s a good sign. No cash and wanting sexytimes? Not a good sign. I would never ask or expect a girl to put out at the first meeting. If she wanted to, I wouldn’t be opposed.. but I would never expect it. That’s just rude.

  58. Anonymous says:

    Single moms…

    Not only they are not too desirable (unless they are in great shape) but also they are expensive and unavailable most of the time due to babysitter expenses and unavailability.

    Many of them declare “my child is the most important person in my life”, which basically communicates to the potential SD: “You are basically a tool.”

    • Anonymous says:

      You seem to forget that “single mom” does not equal needing a babysitter. Kids DO grow up after all. They even…move out of the house eventually!

    • Anonymous says:

      18 + 18 = 36

      If you are a single mom and have a barely moved out child, then you are at least in your 30s, which means less money still. 😉

      • Anonymous says:

        A 36 yr old SB is 20 years younger than a 56 yr old SD & there are plenty even older than that. Plus, he won’t risk people thinking he’s with his daughter.

        A 36 yr old SB has 18 years of getting her “shit together”, learning what it means to be discrete & (most importantly) learning how to pleasure a man.

  59. Anonymous says:

    Unfortunately, a good many young women believe that they have way too many options on SA.

    Yes, some of them…if they are young, good-looking and available..then they have good many options.

    But majority of women will end up in frustration if they keep up the “I am too good for your” attitude when communicating with potential SDs.

    • Anonymous says:

      I have been contacted by 675 men on a regular dating site. I can assure you that not all older women or single mothers are desperate or unnatractive.

      But if you are unwilling to pay for a sitter and you are on the SA site; Another man will gladly replace you. The women are not fretting over you.

      • Anonymous says:

        Yes, on Plenty of Fish, they will contact you, and they want to hit it and quit it. 100% of my female friends hate that site, even thought are being barraged by creeps all day long. As mentioned above, if you are in good shape, yes, most likely a SD will help you out with your babysitter expenses, but usually they don’t want to deal with the hassle. Also, most are here to get away from their wives who have had 2-3 kids, so why not find someone who is young ad fresh without children?

        I have had my share of single moms off of here, and with the exception of one, most have had ruined bodies, (stretch marks, sagging boobs, etc.) but at least they are “easy” as in they will mostly likely meet you and do stuff.

      • Anonymous says:

        There is no point insulting each other. We are all replaceable. That is hardly the point…

    • MayaT says:

      Hmm i believe every woman have to respect her own wishes and yes they have to be picky, i think is unfair for both if she decide to have a date with someone that she doesnt like just because the money, i do not agreed with the attitude “im too good for u” because i think there is not such a think we r just different people with different objetives.

  60. Amy says:

    Anyone ever wonder if the sd is a set up?

  61. ChicagoGal says:

    This site has become very salty. Men who claim they have money really don’t. Also they can’t seem to make time, they travel like crazy so obviously that makes it that much more to lock anything down. Also the many dates i went on, all were super nervous and didn’t know a good thing.

  62. YetiSD says:

    Platonic arrangements do not exist. They are like the Loch Ness monster, the abominable snowman. Pure fiction.

    • Anonymous says:

      They do exist, very rare, but they do. Usually if a guy is very old, can’t get it up, etc … they want the company of a female.

    • Anonymous says:

      Yup agreed! They are about as much fiction as arrangements with “High” or “Substantial” allowances, but lets let the delusional ones carry on searching…

    • Anonymous says:

      Point taken! LOL

    • Anonymous says:

      They exist, but they are rare that’s all, there all types of ppl out there. My first SB told me she had a arrangement a year ago with a older man for around 400-500$ a meet, purely platonic. I don’t really see a reason why she would have lied to me considering she told me at the end of meet not to worry about any arrangement and we just ended up dating.

  63. Anonymous says:

    I am a SB. Just recently I have become extremely upset with the Splenda daddies out there. Start out with messages on the site. They rush to texting or emailing (I don’t like to right away, I have had to block to many who blow up my phone) I like to get everything out in the open right away. What we both expect from each other. I’d rather find out right away if we are on different pages, rather then getting to know each other and finding out he’s broke and a liar. So get the dirty business out of the way. Make our way to out meet or first date. They are start to get all handsy, start trying to make moves. I am not okay with this an voice that it is a first date. I’d like to get to know him first. They become rude voicing that they are paying for my dinner and deserve to get laid because of it. Dinner was about $50 if that. They go on and throw a fit saying they don’t need to pay a girl an allowance all this hoopla. “I’m to good looking”, “I am too successful”, “girls see the car I drive and are drawn to me”, “I don’t know why I am on this site.” I am sorry I value my time

    • Anonymos says:

      “They become rude voicing that they are paying for my dinner and deserve to get laid because of it. Dinner was about $50 if that. They go on and throw a fit saying they don’t need to pay a girl an allowance all this hoopla. “I’m to good looking”, “I am too successful”, “girls see the car I drive and are drawn to me”, “I don’t know why I am on this site.” I am sorry I value my time” ….. never had experience like that even on “normal” sites. I bet the morons cannot even spell and look like chavs on steroids?

    • Anonymous says:

      Screen them better? :)

  64. Daddy101 says:

    Allowances are for an established relationship. SD’s got there by being businessmen and wise with their money, and while they might be generous, they are not generous with strangers. Handing over x in the first two months only to have the SB become very busy or disinterested is a “problem,” scammers that do that for a living is another problem. As an SD, I hate pay for play, but you’re not seeing an allowance for the first couple months until I know you well enough.

    • Anonymous says:

      Here is the ultimate catch-22 of SA.

      SD’s don’t want to give an allowance because the SB might become “too busy” to meet & they won’t get what they have paid for.

      SB’s don’t want to take P4P because the SD might become “too busy” to meet & they end up never hearing from him again.

      The real problem is, SB’s who don’t ghost after getting an allowance & SD’s who don’t vanish after a one-night-stand are getting so burned from those that do, that they give up on the entire concept of finding an arrangement.

      There are serious people out there, but the effort of finding on them on this site has become so onerous it’s virtually pointless.

      • Anonymous says:

        Well said. Essentially, outside of a p4p, most “arrangements” fail.
        A SD will always try to get a new SB for a p4p, even thought he states on his profile that he is looking for an ongoing arrangement.
        SB’s who ACTUALLY make money are the p4p babies for the most part.
        Someone who is thirsty/hungry enough for money and is willing to put out for cash – these babies win, they make money and essentially they are being w*ores, but that’s what SA is, a thinly veiled pr0stituti0n site.

      • Anonymos says:

        If guys offer p4p I have a “risk” premium and no budget deals; they are welcome to eff off too.
        They are welcome to meet purely socially and dispense budget gifts until they are “comfortable” ….

      • Anonymos says:

        The site is not pimping; I have more grudge with the Magic Circle and the Big Four. Those leeches charge boys and girls out for a fortune and the madams …. soz, partners keep 90% of the dough ….just saying ….

    • Ms. Phoenix Rising says:

      This is fiscally reasonable but should be discussed before any intimacy is had. If she agrees great, if she declines; alright. I think and have personally noticed that a lot of guys don’t want to discuss any arrangement but immediately want to discuss what they get for…..(no arrangement) and I get tickled pink by it but carefully remind them I’m not desperate and have clear intentions on what I want and will receive and what I am willing to compromise on if necessary.

  65. Irishcailín says:

    Hey everyone! I honestly do not even know how to use this, I was suggested by a friend, to be honest the whole thing scares me a little, and obviously putting my face up there for everyone to see, I do not think my company would be to pleased! I have just moved from Ireland to London, in my early 20s, bubbly, spontaneus, intelligent and Confident in my looks, but I was interested to see how all this works and maybe give it a try. Any advice would be great. Go raibh maith agat x

    • Ms. Phoenix Rising says:

      Take things slow…..don’t ask for it all up front and she shouldn’t either. Pay for play means you should just find an escort…..this site could work for you if used properly. Don’t pay attention to the bitter on either side.

  66. Anonymous says:

    I’ve had to tell yet another wannabe SB that this is not a charity site. If I want to give money to people whom I shall never meet, I can give to a real charity.

    • Anonymous says:

      You’re a salt daddy. Real SDs don’t fret over measly thousands of dollars these princesses are entitled to.

      • Anonymous says:

        That’s me put in my place. Who needs GoFundMe when there’s SA?

      • Anonymous says:

        Haha! “You’re rich so X thousand isn’t that much to you”. Heard that loads of times. If I was handing out cash like candy to everyone that wanted a platinic arrangement, I wouldn’t be “rich” for very long would I?! Some of these young spinners don’t understand that.

    • Anonymous says:

      You are a salt daddy trying to take advantage of her difficult life situation. Once you take pity on her and give her the dollars, she will disappear. This should teach you a lesson not to take advantage of vulnerable young women.

      • Anonymous says:

        I failed to see where the candid camera was located, but hey, that was a good one…

        There was this very nice lovely young lady (21yo) starting to work at our store. She was a student in need of money and within two months, she was asking already for a raise. She was told that, after one year of employment, her review was coming, and if everything was ok, she would receive 25 cent on the hour. She was furious, she said it was ridiculous, and very upset with the manager. She quit almost immediately. Where they taking advantage of her been a student in need? Or was the store offering what the budgets allowed for that position?
        In a similar vein, SB/SD relationships present a similar concept. The SD can only offer what he has available as disposable income. If this is deemed insufficient by that pot SB, her willing replacement is “standing next to her”. This is not taking advantage of anyone, this is just the nature of these arrangements.

      • Anonymous says:

        Once a “SB” told me this: “You make 2 Million and you are offering me 350 a meet?” She was mistaking my salary for my net worth, but there was another, much bigger issue with this logic :)

      • Anonymous says:

        I was simply kidding. That is how they rationalize stealing your money. By telling themselves that you are a predator trying to take advantage and that it is not really stealing, but punishing you for trying to take advantage.

      • Anonymos says:

        Don’t want to pay = don’t try to shag …. “minimal” vaguely makes sense for once a month “platonic” and you can self service once you get home :p

    • Anonymous says:

      That is exactly what she said about you

  67. Anonymous says:

    One of my guilty pleasures.
    When they hastily dump you – thinking they found something better. And that “better” fizzles out – oh so soon…after a couple meets. They need their rent covered and become desperate They text all these “How are you! Sorry! I am ready to meet!!!”
    And I text “Wrong number”. And block them.
    Guilty, as charged.

    • Anonymous says:

      Yep, I hear you. No different than a woman’s guilty pleasure when no one else will answer a man’s text when he is a drunk salt daddy trying to get his ego stroked for free.

      If you guys had any class, you would not continue with the same garbage.

      His millionaire replacement is always right beside him and takes front and center accomplishing and delivering what Mr. Salt couldn’t.

    • Anonymous says:

      Too right! I love reading these blog posts. It appears that the SD’s experiences all over the world are the same. I guess it just shows that women all over the world are the same as well 😉 Call me a cynic.

  68. Anonymous says:

    Most of this boils down to either knowing and saying what you want or understanding discretion.

    Oh, yeah, and first?

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