3 years ago
Kickstart Your Sugar

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Intentions are only as good as their follow-through. If you attended last week’s L.A. Rouge party, your little black book is most likely brimming with the promise of a new arrangement. But make the biggest mistake in Sugar, and these will be useless slivers of ink on paper. What is this so called mistake, you ask? It’s laziness. A lack of initiative, if you will, not following up on all that potential

Whether it’s online or freelancing, an introduction is just a first step. You have to get up and meet to ever taste that Sugar. How can you effectively take things offline?

Filter Results

Potential members are vetted, but it’s hard to immediately detect hidden stupidity. There are those who seek to add bitterness to the Sugar bowl. Keep your standards high, even on a slow week. Whether it’s a serial photo collector or the girl who won’t leave the house for less than $500, it’s easy to spot those who are not there for the right reasons.

Be Realistic

You’ve found the dream Sugar Daddy or Baby! Except they can’t fulfill one of your expectations such as allowance or availability. If they showed interest, that’s great, but you will need to make a compromise if you want to pursue this arrangement.

Now, if you are glad to make the compromise, then be clear in communicating that. I often hear women on the Sugar Baby blogs at a loss as to why a Sugar Daddy wouldn’twant to meet. If their terms don’t match up with yours, then why would they waste their time? That said, one should search for potential SDs and SBs who are compatible in every way possible to save yourself wasted time and effort.

Make the First Move

We’re not in middle school anymore. Waiting for the other person to set a first meeting may only lead to a loss of interest. Once you hit it off, suggest the next date and time to meet. It shows sincerity and brings you closer to the reward of a sweet arrangement.

Don’t Flip-Flop

One day, your meeting runs late. On another day, your car breaks down. If you act flakier than a toasted croissant, then you’d best believe you will lose out on opportunities. Pick dates and times that you are 100 percent certain you will be free. Plan ahead to avoid potential stumbling blocks. There’s no way to avoid bad luck, but no one’s life is like a Lemony Snicket book.

Be Available

This is mostly for Sugar Babies. Most Sugar Daddies or Mommas have busy schedules. Making the first meeting hyper-convenient is the key to getting a leg up on the competition. If he/she is free only for lunch or coffee, choose a location that is close to their work, but discreet enough to avoid familiar faces.

Special note: If you are looking into a not-quite-long-distance-but-still-a-drive arrangement, maximize your travel time and transportation costs. Plan a day around the trip, so that the meeting is not your one and only reason for going. Lots of things can happen in an hour, and if your POT has to cancel, it’s best not to regret a wasted trip.

Last but certainly not least of this advice to getting a kickstart on potentials is attitude! Your outlook on Sugaring will dictate your success. If you’re going to be lazy and complacent, you won’t get anywhere. But be a go-getter, and your life is about to get sweeter.

What are other ways to kickstart Sugaring?

How do you initiate a first meeting?


  • Category: Tips
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526 Responses to “Kickstart Your Sugar”

  1. anniyaa says:

    Im looking to initiate a SD/SB relationship. I need someone I can be attracted to. Regardless of the benefits from the relationship, i want it to be enjoyable for both parties involved. I would like the occasional companionship, but need that added benefit of being with an older man that has his life together. That in itself is attractive. I am not a push over. I am a woman that knows what she wants. Now, tell me what you want, and lets see if we can be a good addition to one another’s lives.

  2. ThiaraBright says:

    hello everyone! :) having a nice day ? i am new here and i am curious how long i have to wait until i get approval for my account ? thank you :)

  3. Josh says:

    Please post on the latest blog topic to make sure that people are reading your post.

  4. mauro says:

    I can’t find my sugardaddy :( I don’t know why, I am good looking and smart, I don’t get it. Who can help me???

  5. InkedRaven says:

    In my experience. By the time I have swapped numbers the guy tends to just talk so much about sex and getting “nude photos” that I am then reluctant to meet them, I understand how a SD and SB works but sometimes its too much for a first text get to know someone. Puts you off sometimes I had one guy who talked about sex so much I actually got put off. If I said I was working or eating it be “can you send me a hot photo I’m really horny” “cant wait to f*** you” I ended up having to block him. I take about a week to meet. I want to make sure this guy is real and not a fake and that he isnt going to murder me and that he wants company as well as a SG and not an escort. 😛 And after reading a few comments on my tiny screen I’m happy to pay for my own meal. I have done so for 29 years I’m sure it wouldnt hurt to do so again. I also have had a SD an he got cupcakes baked for him a lot 😛 I even bought him gifts :)

  6. Josh says:

    @MensaGirl

    “Also (I’m full of random questions!), how come your photo appears on this blog but hardly any other people’s?”

    Because I am special. 😉

  7. Josh says:

    @Valara, @Missy, @Maya and @MensaGirl,

    The trend on this website is to post all messages on the latest blog. So come to where the party is. 😉

    5 Lessons From My First Year of Sugar is the current thread.

  8. Valara says:

    I sure hope it doesn’t take long to meet someone on this site. Do newbies do well, or should I lurk and learn :)

  9. Missy says:

    hello im new here still trying to figure out this site help me please :)

  10. Maya says:

    Hello!!! I’m a newbie. I am still trying to learn the site as well as navigate it. My bio is still pending. What type of pics do you recommend putting up? I do a lot of pinup/vintage shoots.. should I use one of those? A sexy pic? Not to revealing.. Any tips? Is it worth paying for premium? Thanks in advance

  11. MensaGirl says:

    Thanks, @DorkyGuy, good to know!
    What’s the difference between a Premium and a Diamond member?

    @Josh: You mean my alias, then. It IS MensaGirl.
    Also (I’m full of random questions!), how come your photo appears on this blog but hardly any other people’s?

  12. Josh says:

    Interesting how these SBs keep forgetting their lesson from Disney. You WILL HAVE TO kiss some of them frogs.

  13. Josh says:

    @MensaGirl

    “@Josh: What do you mean by “profile tag”? o.O”

    It is the name that appears in your profile right above your age and city.

  14. Alexis says:

    “I am crious…is this:

    1. Fake Alexis LMAOing on fake Alexis’ proposal?

    2. Real Alexis LMAOing on real Alexis’ proposal?

    3. Real Alexis LMAOing on fake Alexis’ proposal?

    4. Fake Alexis LMAOing on real Alexis’ proposal?”

    LOL Josh, it was #3.

    “It is very simple, as you can see in the last 30 or so posts here, someone else seems to be posting as Alexis.”

    Awww Elaine thank you, how sweet. I’ll always try to be more considerate towards you in the future.

  15. Lainey says:

    I don’t know if they will let me say here. But yea you have to sift through the weirdos but when you do you find good ones and the sifting is EASIER when you’re on a site with men that actually interact with the SBs. Like you’re more likely to cut to the chase and have a meet up than hitting up a few guys and getting nowhere

  16. liliana says:

    site I mean

  17. liliana says:

    @Lainey what’s the other profile ? any good catch there?

  18. DorkyGuy says:

    @MensaGirl~ Make sure you are sending your messages only to Premium or Diamond SD profiles. The unpaid profiles cannot read or respond to your messages. You can tell the difference by the orange or black stripe down the left side of the profile.

  19. Lainey says:

    @Caliv @MensaGirl I’m new also and feel your pain. Lol. I do find it strange considering I belong to another site and the men are far more active on it.

  20. MensaGirl says:

    @Josh: What do you mean by “profile tag”? o.O

  21. DarkHorseSD says:

    Caliber;

    Wat sort a msgs u r senden?

  22. Josh says:

    @Caliv

    If you post your profile tag here, I will let you know why you may not be getting responses.

  23. Caliv says:

    Why is it so hard for me to talk to sd s on here I thought people would at least be social should I not be the one starting the conversation , am I suppose to be waitin for the perfect him to come?? I don’t understand this site … Help

  24. Kms2014 says:

    Men get many emails*

  25. Kms2014 says:

    “MensaGirl says:
    September 30, 2014 at 11:19 pm
    Hello!
    I’m totally new to this, and I’m trying to initiate contacts and be friendly.
    Any ideas why SDs won’t even have the decency to answer my hellos with, at least, a basic “Sorry, but no thanks”? o.O
    I’m just a little bit taken aback since this site is supposed to be frequented by gentlemen…
    Any further advice is welcome! ”

    Mensa, men get a many of emails on this site(especially, if they are somewhat attractive with higher income/net worth). Most will not respond to every single message. It doesn’t mean they all are ungentlemanly(some are, though, hehe). Try to not take it personal…(however, try making your message very specific to him, if you are sending generic messages..not saying you are, but just in case).

  26. MensaGirl says:

    @Josh: Then why would the messages appear as read?
    Rude people… -_-

  27. Josh says:

    @Gelana

    “Of course. I think you are funny. But they act antagonized. lol”

    You got it dear. Those who are full of themselves are either truly antagonized or at least act antagonized. 😉

  28. Josh says:

    @MensaGirl

    Many of the SD as well as SB profiles are inactive.

  29. Gelana says:

    @Josh

    ““you are antagonizing people on all of them””

    “That depends on one’s vantage point, right?”

    Of course. I think you are funny. But they act antagonized. lol

  30. MensaGirl says:

    Hello!
    I’m totally new to this, and I’m trying to initiate contacts and be friendly.
    Any ideas why SDs won’t even have the decency to answer my hellos with, at least, a basic “Sorry, but no thanks”? o.O
    I’m just a little bit taken aback since this site is supposed to be frequented by gentlemen…
    Any further advice is welcome! :)

  31. liliana says:

    not much , generally guys don’t enjoy long emails and endless texting they should suggest to meet within a week to see if there is any chemistry, otherwise they lose interest or they talk to many girls

  32. Lainey says:

    @Liliana I’ve been on the site for a month. Was one local and one LD that I’m currently speaking to BUUUUTTT I fear I waited too long on the “meet” with the local so it’s kind of dead now. *Shrug* . How long do you guys suggest you speak before meeting?

  33. A says:

    the website should fix this , like all the blogs , each person can use one unique name , stop acting like kids

  34. A says:

    sorry but my name is Alexis so I posted as Alexis , I assume this is not a unique name on this planet

  35. liliana says:

    still in dating phase

  36. liliana says:

    so how the newbies are doing ? any progress?

  37. Elaine says:

    @ Kirsten

    It is very simple, as you can see in the last 30 or so posts here, someone else seems to be posting as Alexis.

  38. Lainey says:

    @Alexis I JUST got done saying I’m new to this. This is exactly why I posted here in the first place. I asked advice

    @Josh NO ONE wants to be a serial SB. Unbeknownst to them they are the equivalent of a prostitute. I want ONE SD because to me its the best replication of what a traditional relationship is: Man provides, woman handles the rest. My generation is the PITS. They know NOTHING of traditional gender roles

  39. Elaine says:

    @Kirsten

    If SA can moderate posts they don’t like, they should also be able to immediately block posters who are posting on others’ nickname.

    It is false and cowardish blog pollution!

  40. Josh says:

    ““@Lainey , can I have you daily salary? I will let you enjoy my body”

    LMAO!!”

    I am crious…is this:

    1. Fake Alexis LMAOing on fake Alexis’ proposal?

    2. Real Alexis LMAOing on real Alexis’ proposal?

    3. Real Alexis LMAOing on fake Alexis’ proposal?

    4. Fake Alexis LMAOing on real Alexis’ proposal?

  41. Josh says:

    “Some of us have REAL JOBS and make REAL MONEY besides being a serial SB.”

    …however wish from the hearts of their bottoms that somehow just somehow they could live the life of a serial SB…at least for a short period of time. 😉

  42. Alexis says:

    “Some of us have REAL JOBS and make REAL MONEY besides being a serial SB.”

    Your SDs don’t give you real money? What do you normally receive, monopoly money? Or do you get those little foil-wrapped chocolate bars that look like cash?

  43. Alexis says:

    “@Lainey , can I have you daily salary? I will let you enjoy my body”

    LMAO!!

  44. tara says:

    I absolutely love and would recommend this site! Pour some sugar on me XX

  45. CB says:

    I have trusted 1 guy and he dissapeared in order to avoid the allowance ,others ended as sugar daddies though , so it is a risk , one bad experience can shake your faith

  46. Alexis says:

    @Lainey , can I have you daily salary? I will let you enjoy my body

  47. Lainey says:

    @Alexis My impersonations of you? Don’t flatter yourself. Someone was writing as me earlier as well. I just got a free minute in my day to read all of the posts after mine. Some of us have REAL JOBS and make REAL MONEY besides being a serial SB.

  48. Elaine says:

    @ CB

    Maybe you should trust him before sleeping with him?

    @ Alexis

    Yeah you have a great alibi now. LOL
    Wished I could do that!
    But my “accent” would reveal … :-(

    Could try to post as Russian maybe?
    Nah… she is much too funny! :-))

  49. Alexis says:

    Yes Lainey, I can see that in all your impersonations of me. I knew you would. 😉

  50. Alexis says:

    Yes, judging by all the imitation of me on the blog, it looks like I definitely hit the nail on the head with assuming carolweb was “lol” jeje.

    Thanks for also confirming yet another theory.

    BTW, I’m highly flattered with all the imitation since they _do_ say imitation is the highest form of flattery.

    “Never thought we would be so much on the same page one day Alexis”

    When other people pose as me it gives me the ability to be on all types of pages, Elaine lol.

  51. Lainey says:

    @Elaine I was asked a series of questions and that was my response. I was not just randomly advertising myself.

    @Alexis if you don’t want someone to be hostile, don’t continuously provoke them. I still stand by my previous statement, cunt.

  52. DarkHorseSD says:

    Maybe sometime we’ll here from an SB who sleeps with someone they trust.

  53. NC Gent says:

    You see so many profiles that say “don’t waste my time” or “state your offer in the first message” etc. Any sugar relationship that I have had, it took a while to develop some rapport and chemistry – if you rush something, you will get back exactly what you put into it.

  54. cb says:

    stop the random posts please, so Alexis is a girl? that explains a lot

  55. cb says:

    you should at least get part of the allowance before you sleep with him, unless you trust him

  56. Josh says:

    @Elaine, I guess you corrected yourself. I was not the only one confused by the random posts.

    Don’t feel bad Alexis. At least I know that you are for real. 😉

  57. DarkHorseSD says:

    The traditional way of developing an arrangement is completely lost in this website.

    You meet, get to know each other…multiple times…develop a relationship…start taking care of each others needs.

    This NSA crap, allowance talk In texts and first meetings and profiles…it’s all escort talk. It’s why be a booty call when you could be a call girl for no money down!

    The onus is to do a little research into whether the guy is what you want (as a person and benefactor) while he also judges you and you both don’t waste a lot of time on a phony.

  58. Josh says:

    Hmmm I am kinda confused, but that may not be that important.

    Elaine wants to communicate with the Alexis who she earlier thought of as Josh’s other id

    OR

    Elaine wants to communicate with one of the random Alexises posting above.

  59. Elaine says:

    Uhhh….Alexis?? Aslei???

    Shoot me, I am lost now….

  60. Alexis says:

    Thank you again , it is nice to get some support from other girls ,yes there are diamonds in the coal but the weed out process is a pain , sugar baby is not an easy job at all. Guys hate to talk about allowance but bags and shoes dont pay any bills thats the problem

  61. Elaine says:

    @Aslei

    Untill now it is the best in my experience.
    Tried some other free ones but SA has worked best for me so far.
    Although in the 2 years I am on, I have seen the quantity gone up and quality gone done very fast.
    But with the right attitude and right profile there is still diamonds to find in the coal.

    You just need to stand out, be patient and weed out the crap.
    And never think it is easy money throw at you, succesful sugar is hard work.
    And don’t forget; sugar can also turn bittersweet!

  62. Alexis says:

    that is awesome will email you as soon as I start my night shift at the warehouse , word hard play hard

  63. Elaine says:

    Sounds fun, you can mail me at elainesablog at google mail

  64. aslei says:

    Thanks , so do you believe this is the best website for meeting sugar daddies? It a popular one but are there any other websites you have tried?

  65. Alexis says:

    @Elaine obviously I didnt write all the weird posts earlier

  66. Alexis says:

    @Elaine we should definately meet , I enjoy your grammar and sense of humor.
    Where are you based?

  67. Elaine says:

    @ Aslei

    Best is to mention it in your profile!
    You might receive less messages, but at least you have a pre-selection and it is less harder to bring it up when+ pot’s know upfront what your expectations are.

    Furthermore it should in theory be the pot SD that should bring it up, if he is a gentleman. Unfortunally they not all are.
    I would wait untill the meeting, if you bring it up already in the first texts you might seem a golddigger.
    Of course unless he asks for it in text himself.

    Succes!

  68. Alexis says:

    I enjoy being the smartest between the hookers ho ho ho

  69. Alexis says:

    I enjoy seeing them digging their grave , that is my daily dose of pleasure.

  70. Elaine says:

    Gosh…. but really; Gosh!

    Never thought we would be so much on the same page one day Alexis 😉

    Like RSD always says: “Give them a digger and they start digging themselve” LOL
    If you wait long enough and let them talk the true self reveals…

    So to all self proclaimed classy (think Kim K.!), highly educated, highly intelligent, extremely beautiful ( or should I say “hot” and give a number? 😉 ) SBs from affluent families and to all extremely intelligent, extremely whealthy SDs ;

    DO ME A FAVOUR AND KEEP ON POSTING, PLEASE !!! :-)

    ps. Favourite Aunt Elaine quote: “If you have to tell people you are, you are not!”

  71. aslei says:

    peace please! so girls when do you usually mention the allowance ? while you still text?

  72. Alexis says:

    So that’s not the 1 grade grammar class , gosh , I was supposed to teach grammar today and was wondering why they talk about sex? wrong site , sorry girls

  73. lol says:

    Alexis marry me , I will be your sugar mamma

  74. Alexis says:

    And ok so “lol” is carolweb? Because there’s that syntax there again lol.

  75. Alexis says:

    Lainey, you don’t have to pretend to be something you’re not so that you feel comfortable talking to successful people. Just go and _make_ yourself into someone successful, instead. It may not be as easy, but it’s much more fruitful and permanent.

  76. Alexia says:

    “They aren’t grammatical errors they are typos. You can change one or two letters on the words that are incorrect and see that.”

    I see the typos, however the paragraph is still riddled with grammatical errors. You cannot see them because you’re poorly educated. There is nothing wrong with being poorly educated unless you pretend to be well educated. That is why I addressed the situation.

    “You can speculate on it as much as you like but it has nothing to do with the topic at hand, which just leads me to believe that you must be miserable with your life to take so much time out to be negative to the next. So to answer your question: Yes, English is my first language and CUNT must be yours.”

    1. It has everything to do with the topic at hand, but I don’t expect that you’ll be able to see that.
    2. Again, we have another paragraph riddled with grammatical errors.
    3. The fact that you placed such a derogatory term (_and_ in caps) reveals that your derivation is not of affluency. Thank you for making that clear.
    4. All of these factors together explain why you cannot find a SD. Attractive women aren’t that hard to find; however, it’s very difficult to find one with class and good upbringing.

    Please continue to rant and insult though if you feel it’s somehow necessary. I warn you though that you’ll only be digging your grave deeper and deeper as you do and revealing more and more of what you truly are.

  77. lol says:

    arrrangement involves intimacy , these guys just want a cheap 30sec fuck to release their misery , u can play lottery maybe you can win some money for hookers , ciao

  78. lol says:

    you guys are so funny , the chat is like phycotherapy group for losers who want hate themselves first of all and are incapable of having any feelings for woman cause probably their mothers never loved them or they have been sexually abused (yes josh we know your wife dumped you and go away with the kids and your mc donalds salary )ahahah good luck replying to them

  79. Josh says:

    Also remind yourselves that this is not eHarmony or even match.

  80. DarkHorseSD says:

    “Girls please IGNORE these sad guys, they are misogynists with mother issues and obviously poor and bad looking”

    Please INFORM yourself. That’s by whom and why this website and all its siblings were founded.

  81. DarkHorseSD says:

    ATM – Strip clubs are dark and use those black lights so it is hard for the customers to see what the girls look like in natural light.

    That’s why from early May until mid August as you sit in your Crown Vic in the parking lot at 4:30 you can’t figure out which girl you gave that $2 bill with your phone number on it.

  82. Josh says:

    @caroleweb

    “@Lainey please scrol up to see what this joke Josh says , he claims to have 5 degrees and he is the next mark zuckerberg so we should all date him for free”

    Hmmm, where did Josh say any of that?

  83. FatB'StardSA says:

    @DarkHorseSD

    Looks like I am going to be paying a lot then. Strip clubs are dark so it is hard for the girls to see the customers. My POT SB’s always insist on meeting in a well lit environment.

  84. caroleweb says:

    ps date not data xx

  85. caroleweb says:

    FYI (do you really wanna data or reply to these sa people)
    The 4 Reasons Misogynists Become Misogynists, According to Misogynists
    A misogynist is someone who hates, dislikes or is prejudiced against women, according to the Oxford English Dictionary. Unfortunately, those same people are usually unaware that their bias against women exists, which probably makes their misogyny grow. It also means that you rarely get a peek at what makes them tick. Until now.

    In a post on Quora entitled “What does it feel like to be a misogynist?” (inspired by the previous thread called “What does it feel like to be a misanthrope?”) three men what appears to be two men and a woman have offered their answers that very question. Given the aforementioned tendency that many people who harbor prejudices have of not being aware of their prejudices, it’s unsurprising that the post has been up for a week and there are so few responses. But despite the paucity of information, the post still has a few takeaways.
    They have Mommy issues

    I know about myself that I’m a very sensitive and complicated person with a lot of emotional needs, perhaps more than is typical. And my mother was not able to meet those needs very well. I know that my “love languages” are touches and words of affirmation, but the only “language” she felt comfortable speaking was service. She did that extraordinarily well, and I am grateful for it. Yet it wasn’t enough. I deeply love and respect my mother, and it was hard for me to acknowledge these things, but I think it was necessary for my own self understanding and emotional healing.

    They’re frustrated by the narrow definitions of what modern masculinity and femininity are

    If [sic] feels like no matter what you do, and no matter how hard you try, you’ll never really be as good as a man. It feels like resenting other women for acting “girly” or “feminine” because they’re undermining your struggle to be taken seriously by those you work with. It feels like blaming women (rather than the institutions that determine gender roles) for being weak, and it feels like being angry that your gender means you’ll be associated with weakness. It feels like mistrusting women who conform to cultural expectations, as those expectations are suspect, and it feels like mistrusting those women who challenge the same expectations, because they’re women, and can’t be trusted.

    They’ve experienced lots of romantic rejection from women

    [I had a series of] very long, agonizing series of rejections by women—I would estimate about 30 or 40 of them—which never got any easier. I’m not going to bore you by recounting these episodes, except to say that each of them further reinforced my own feelings of inferiority and my negativity and cynicism toward women. I was irresistibly drawn to these women and always hurt by them. I have been asked, “Why were you like this? Were you a masochist? A glutton for punishment?” I think a better way to think of it is that I was like a shipwrecked man, floating in the ocean a life raft, parched with thirst. He keeps trying to drink the water that’s all around him, but it’s salty and bitter and only makes him thirstier. Not a fun place.

    They don’t get it

    Although I don’t consider myself a misogynist but I am routinely called one. Especially when I meet “wimmen” who around whining about being victims for just being women. I often tell them that men have had it bad too and more men are victims of violence than women, but they rationalize it saying that since it is men hurting other men, its OK. I ask them about centuries of conscription including in the 1970s Vietnam war, when at the height of the feminist movement, only men were forced to get killed, they say that men started that war and must die for it. And when I ask why don’t we have a more equal distribution of war casualties, I’m called a woman-killer.

    I have come to despise feminist groups (not all, but most) for their absolute disregard for the value of men. I have no love for the MRAs either who usually are usually women hating gay men.

    And no I don’t hate women in general, just some of them like the gold-diggers, false rape accusers, blackmailers and feminazis who think men must be eradicated. I’ve been fortunate to have many nice women in my life.

  86. caroleweb says:

    @Lainey please scrol up to see what this joke Josh says , he claims to have 5 degrees and he is the next mark zuckerberg so we should all date him for free, haahahah this conversation is a good lesson for u , when a man talks so much bullshit is probably on benefits or he is works night shift somewhere and he iss bored out of his mind hhaah

  87. caroleweb says:

    Girls please IGNORE these sad guys, they are misogynists with mother issues and obviously poor and bad looking or married to fat wives who dont know what is sex, why you bother reply to them? please DONT

  88. Lainey says:

    @Josh
    International Business

    I get compared to Kim K ALOT (same body type also)

    Yes my family taught me that aside from being beautiful and smart you must be emotionally independent and nurturing, as well as know how to cook, clean and keep a man “interested”

    I actually do want a SD, but the mentoring aspect something I’d like more than material things. So it’s not that I NEED one I’d just rather any financial help serves a purpose outside of bags and shoes that I already have a ton of.

  89. DarkHorseSD says:

    ATM, if you can’t make yourself more attractive than the guys trying for an extra feel that they strip for until 4am 4 nights a week, you are just going to have to dig deep and pay up.

  90. Sasha says:

    @DarkhorseSD Lols I love it. And I agree you shouldn’t have to compete. Everyone should be comfortable and happy.

  91. Josh says:

    @Lainey

    I am not criticizing you. I have a few matter-of-fact type of questions:

    “I’m educated,”

    What discipline?

    “attractive,”

    Who would you compare yourself with among the celebrities we know.

    “come from an affluent family”

    good to know.

    “and was bright up to be able to cater to a busy man.”

    Is this something your family teaches its growing girls. If it does then hats off to you and your family as this is NOT taught to girls nowadays.

    “I want a mentor interested in investing in my career interests as I invest my time and devotion in return.”

    Curious still. If you come from an affluent family why would you want a random man to mentor you?

    Again, these questions are being asked in a matter-of-fact way and I am hoping that you may be able to answer them in the same way please.

    Thanks

  92. Lainey says:

    LMAO @DarkHorseSD I know so many girls that live like that. That’s why this was so funny. It’s those kind of girls that actually think someone owes them the WORLD

  93. FatB'StardSA says:

    @DarkHorseSD

    I always makes me feel good to know spending time with me is considered equivalent to spending time at a job that the SB hates. And people say that there is no romance left in the world!

  94. DarkHorseSD says:

    Ah the old can’t afford to take time off from work to date dilemma.

    As an SD, I never want to compete with your well paying chosen profession. I want to compete against the time you spend in the closet converted to bedroom in the apartment you share with 2 other girls that has only one bathroom and windows facing the air shaft watching Netflix on your iPhone.

  95. Lainey says:

    I didn’t catch them all and I’m lending my phone to no one, but it of all the things I’ve posted you mention my first post EVER on this site in which I was unaware I could not scroll up. They aren’t grammatical errors they are typos. You can change one or two letters on the words that are incorrect and see that. You can speculate on it as much as you like but it has nothing to do with the topic at hand, which just leads me to believe that you must be miserable with your life to take so much time out to be negative to the next. So to answer your question: Yes, English is my first language and CUNT must be yours.

  96. Alexis says:

    Oh and btw, you might consider not lending your phone out to other SBs on the blog. All those thousands of SDs you both have could get mixed up.

  97. Alexis says:

    @Lainey
    I saw the correction but it nowhere near covered the entire paragraph which was riddled with grammatical errors and strange syntax.

    It’s all good though. Obviously, your phone is poorly educated. Bad phone… bad!

  98. Lainey says:

    @Alexis my phone would not allow me to scroll up to correct my errors. I’m using a “swype” keyboard that just guesses at the word half the time. I corrected them in the following post. If you were as observant as you’d like us to believe, you would’ve seen that. :)

  99. FatB'StardSA says:

    @caroleweb

    I am not a good guy and I can not afford you. You should have found a rich guy when you were young and a beauty queen. Now that you are older and less attractive you may need to date 100 guys at 200 pounds per date. I would say you can compensate for you looks with a great personality but we both know that’s not possible. You could live a normal lifestyle instead of pretending to be a celebrity and you would not have to date 100 guys on SA to make extra money.

  100. Alexis says:

    Wait a minute. carolweb is using the same strange syntax. Is it the same person or just ESLrs?

  101. Alexis says:

    “I’m educated, attractive, come from an affluent family and was bright up to be able to cater to a busy man. I don’t need not want shoes or clothing or materialistic things, i have enough. I want a mentor interested in investing in my career interests as I invest my time and devotion in return.”

    Just curious, is English your mother tongue?

  102. caroleweb says:

    thanks fatboy , I am more interesting and attractive than you think as u dont know me and I also won the national beauty pageant when i was young so some guys know better than u, if I act like a nun I will get the next good one SD in 100 years , and if I dont as the magic question what is your budget i will have to date 100 guys whose budget is 200 per visit! maybe you are a good guy and experienced sd and you dont understand what we go through , maybe i can date you xxx

  103. Lainey says:

    @Sasha @Caroleweb I’m the same way about expensive gifts. If the monetary value of the gifts out way the allowance in receiving then we may have to reevaluate the initial amount agreed upon.

  104. FatB'StardSA says:

    @Lainey

    “@FatB’StardSA speaking from experience? you got experience while watching porn?”

    I do like porn. I would love to see your porn films! Please send me a link!

  105. FatB'StardSA says:

    @caroleweb

    The problem is that you think you are A LOT more interesting/attractive than you are. If you were more interesting/attractive then you would be able to find a SD who would not treat you like a cheap hooker. Many of the blog SB’s here have very successful SD’s and get a great allowance. When you stop acting like a cheap hooker people will stop treating you like a cheap hooker.

    I hope this free lesson has brought a smile to your face! Have a nice day :-).

  106. Lainey says:

    Umm why is someone commenting as me? I didn’t say that. But I can definitely understand where a man might try to connect with a seemingly “good girl” and get sucked into the woman wanting more than a SD/SB relationship but Sheesh don’t write us all off lol

  107. SAhead-office says:

    Guys please ignore FatBstardSA he has really serious mental issues and complex , feel sorry for our little handicapped fella and ignore him . AMEN

  108. Lainey says:

    @FatB’StardSA speaking from experience? you got experience while watching porn?

  109. caroleweb says:

    @FatB’StardSA you have an ATM as profile pic ? lol , because you cant go anywhere close to an ATM probably apart from the times you were trying to steal it . ahah yes you are a true SD you are the one I am looking for, you can give me your benefits and I might smile at you ahhahaah

  110. FatB'StardSA says:

    @Lainey

    Speaking from experience these men have wasted time on women like yourself and believe that all women are worthless. However these men can see the light when a quality woman shows up. You are not the torch bearer though…

  111. caroleweb says:

    I hate expensive gifts they lose value in few months , birkin is ok shasha sell it at a secondhand luxure sale website you will get plenty of cash

  112. FatB'StardSA says:

    @caroleweb

    “I cant believe so many cheap people expect to get laid for 200pounds? are you fucking kidding this is not an arrangement this is a cheap hooker you are looking for ”

    Don’t blame the SD’s for this. You are probably equal to a cheap hooker in terms of looks and personality for most of the SD’s you meet. Work on improving yourself and you will get better offers.

  113. caroleweb says:

    @lainey haha you are funny , stay away from the 40plus single there is a reason they are single , if no girl managed to get them in a household it means they had huge issues. I dated one of them for a month , he admitted that all the girls want him for his money when at the same time the only thing he was doing is showing off the money!(obviously he was just a banker socialite guy)this is a no-no type of guy . I enjoyed our show off time in nice restaurants and clubs but couldnt hold a conversation sex was bad as well and he wasnt willing to buy anything or give money as he said I can still date models for free , he is still lonely and sad he deserves it

  114. Sasha says:

    #SBProblems

  115. Sasha says:

    @Lainey And when you turn around and tell them “I have to work and can’t out with you” they don’t understand money is big issue. Gifts are nice and all but thats not going to pay your bills. I bartend everyday almost everyday so I’m not sitting on my ass with a pair Jimmy Choos and a Birkin with no furniture in my apartment and 6 kids. Bartending is decent money BUT when I have to take a friday or saturday night off when I know I can make some great money to hang out with a SD that doesn’t give me anything… What makes you think I’m going to be all sweet and charming every time I see you I shouldn’t have to beg you to make sure I’m comfortable enough to take off of work to spend time with you

  116. caroleweb says:

    @shasha sorry but he is stingy or just an idiot , good for you that u left him

  117. Lainey says:

    @Caroleweb truer words were never spoken. Where I reside there is a breed FAR WORSE than the divorcée. It’s the BACHELOR. The 40 something, never married, no kids, party boy. The modern day diluted George Clooney that now thinks that every woman interested in them is the one trying to LOCK THEM DOWN and throw away the key. Like how does a man with no baggage become so jaded? Lol

  118. Lainey says:

    @Sasha sooo true. Is like as much as I like fine dining and sporting events, Id ALSO like to pay my bills for all the time I’m missing from work or building my brand to spend with you. Yes some men definitely lose sight of the initial reason you began talking and it’s hard to remind them. Hints get dismissed and if you’re too blunt youre just a money grubbing wh*re

  119. caroleweb says:

    @lainey, omg this is so true , I say I have and Msc and a normal job and they are like wow and you are also cute this is amazing(I have few friends like us and they are on the same boat) ,next question is and why you hang out with party girls etc. cause that is the only way to meet you idiots , my geeky smart friends are boring as hell or they save money for their wedding with other geeky friends ahahaah. From what I ‘ve noticed so far you need to meet them in a good phase in their life when they have done the bimbo part and they are tired of it, some though get married then Idivorced at their 40’s and after that it is a downfall they get used to escorts and prostitutes. I also noticed that the girls who got really good guys and for long term are usually stealing them from other girls or they are their first sugar baby and they fall for them.

  120. Sasha says:

    I think the next blog post on Seeking Arrangements should be for Newbie Sugar Daddies. I had a POT essentially take me to dinner take me on dates but it started to become why pay for the cow when you get the milk for free (no i didn’t sleep with him) but he never wanted to speak about reciprocation in anyway. I even tried the oh I don’t have anything to wear to this fancy dinner tonight and he acted like oh well sounds like a personal problem :((((( just to remind him hey I’m not hanging out with you because I like to eat . I liked him he was great to hang out with but I think he forgot how the SB/SD relationship worked. And I’m not quite like a lot of SBs who feel that they need to be given something to feel like the relationship works but im not trying to become fat either just because all you commit to a working SB/SD relationship is a dinner out. I ultimately ended it over telling him I was going to meet a POT in New York and he got upset possibly even Jealous. I think just as SB should have etiquette when approaching this particular lifestyle so do the SDs.

  121. Lainey says:

    @Caroleweb VERY time consuming. No one has time to weed through the douchebags and imposters. At least online it makes it easier because when you do weed through they have none of your personal info to stalk you down the line. Lol. I have met
    great wealthy men in my area but the second they find out you have a
    brain is like a relationship red flag so they run back to the cokehead fake body having bimbos with insecurity and daddy issues. And UNFORTUNATELY there are PLENTY of those to go around where I reside.

  122. DarkHorseSD says:

    Lainey, maybe your mistake is in thinking that SA has any significant proportion of those types of men at this point.

  123. caroleweb says:

    @lainey I am like you , since I broke up with the mentioned long term sugar daddy which was like a normal relationship at the end and he wanted me to live with him I believe there is no hope to meet the same type again , I cant put the sexy side on written side it is ridiculous I am sorry , I will attract all the weirdo’s who are looking for per visit pay they are no the site as they cant afford proper escorts who ask more , it is insane! trust me it is all about luck , when I met my previous guy I almost gave up I said he is the last one I meet and then I go for people my age who I really hate as they are just party animals or geeks!you can always meet mentors out usually at hotel bars or good bars but it is so much efford and time consuming

  124. Lainey says:

    @Caroleweb thanks for the honest reply. I feel like I give plenty sexy in my private pics but how do you give off sexy verbally. I’m very open sexually and personality wise pretty verbal about it lol. I am looking for ONE SD and am totally into the intimacy of it all. I’m def a meet you at your office for a nooner type of girl but it’s like you can’t come out and say that without getting hit up by the CREEPS

  125. caroleweb says:

    @lainey problem is that their wives are probably like you , they need a sexy side as well , and if they dont meet you in person they can never see your personality

  126. caroleweb says:

    @josh what’s a rinser?
    @lainey , oh thats a tough one I had a sugar daddy who really tried to help offered me great inside in his company and job i got a job for a while at his company but this happened after long time when he fell in love with me same with a friend he was a mentor he invested on her but he was crazy in love he was a really wealthy sugar daddy never seen this amount of help and money in my life, on he other hand most of the guys i meet now are losersbankers or just managers who hate their life , you need to meet Entrepreneurs how? it is just luck i think , it is hard to meet a good one

  127. Lainey says:

    *brought. Ugh my comment posted before I was finished.

    Furthermore, I’m spunky, fun, and have a positive yet realistic outlook on life and good energy but NONE of that is apparent through a simple profile. I’m far better in person or on the phone. Just trying to figure out how to get my personality and expectations across more clearly in my profile

  128. Lainey says:

    I’m so curious as to why I’m not attracting the right kind of SD. I’m educated, attractive, come from an affluent family and was bright up to be able to cater to a busy man. I don’t need not want shoes or clothing or materialistic things, i have enough. I want a mentor interested in investing in my career interests as I invest my time and devotion in return.

  129. Josh says:

    @caroleweb

    Dont know about escorts but rinsers definitely ruined it to great extent. Escorts at lleastprovide something in retun. Rinsers don’t.

  130. caroleweb says:

    @meme I cant believe so mamy cheap people expect to get laid for 200pounds? are you fucking kidding this is not an arrangement this is a cheap hooker you are looking for , they are poor , I know billionaires are not in here but fuck that hookers ruined the website and the meaning of an arrangement

  131. Meme says:

    @carolwebb , totally agree , some men talk a good bio, text convo, but actually have nothing close to what they advertise . Supposedly 300,000 a year , but 150.00 is a heart-attack, -Death-.

  132. Meme says:

    – Or the ones that wait for you to make the first move, even though THEY want the sugar…hate those .

  133. NC SD says:

    I too have found ladies on this site to be F L A K E Y. I’m seeing a pattern from the one’s that have that long list of requirements, usually from a 20 or 30 something who hasn’t accomplished a damn thing in her life except spit out a couple of kids w two different deadbeat Dads, ran up CC and school loan debt, and now feel that someone else but them should be responsible for paying for it. While all the while, can’t show up for coffee at a public place arranged a week in advance for a meet.

  134. Josh says:

    It’s Kms2014’s fault.

  135. Jacob says:

    “more fulfilling in the not so long term.”

    The long term benefits manifest themselves without even having to wait for long: the pursuit of advanced degrees can take place as soon as kid is old enough to attend pre-school. The financial resources can secure help from well qualified nannies with Master’s degrees in early childhood development, when needed. From there on, you can have a continuous career from professional school to employment if you choose, unlike the typical professional degree women who often take time out for child bearing then off the track for a decade or longer if not staying home for life. Many professional fields require continuous practice; you can’t have a multi-year hole in the middle of a career and still expect to get back on track. Considering that surveys show 40% of hiring managers are reluctant to hire young women due to the maternity-leave burden on the company, having a MTR (mother) “degree” and having the child bearing behind you when coming out an advanced degree program will actually be highly advantageous, literally almost doubling your employment horizon.

  136. Jacob says:

    Typo Correction:

    I graciously promised previously that I would _NOT_ bring up the topic without being asked or attacked. I lived up to my promise, but some others are just too undisciplined to live up to their end of the bargain, namely, refraining from making distortions or disparaging remarks on my program, me or women interested in taking advantage of the opportunity for the benefit of themselves and their future children.

  137. Jacob says:

    @Elaine

    “am very curious too, but for another reason: Why would a extremely succesful businessman always have to brag about his wealth (10 times average childsupport was mentioned approx. 300 times by now) and intelligence, constantly repeating his idea of creating multiple middle class families and the costs of this project on a stupid blog?!”

    Notice, I refrained from addressing the issue unless and until someone asked and the silly critics made disparaging remarks presenting a very distorted version of it. So it is a simple matter of clarifications and setting the records straight.

    “Everytime he gets challenged he is reacting and defending himself.”

    Correct. Self-defense is every man and woman’s natural given right, a right that is endowed by our creator. I graciously promised previously that I would bring up the topic without being asked or attacked. I lived up to my promise, but some others are just too undisciplined to live up to their end of the bargain.

    “How often now has he explained why he had to change his nickname and prove he was not blocked??”

    Because someone asked. The answer was addressed to the specific asker. I even waited a few hours for someone else to answer first, but the asker did not feel she got the full answer, so I had to fill in for her.

    “Why would one in his position even care about what some blog strangers think?”

    For the same reason that you react every time any one suggested older SB’s are not desirable: there are far more readers than posters.

    “Come on, get a life!
    For me it is exactly the opposite of how any selfconfident, extremely intelligent, busy and succesful multimillionaire would react.
    His reactions speak for themselves….”

    Yada yada. Your attempt at gas-lighting is not having its intended effect. The typical successful multimillionaire is not a defenseless idiot in the public sphere. I never claimed to be extremely intelligent (although someone other people think I am). As for being busy, I’m not your typical corporal wage slave ready to be blackmailed. I control my own schedule: I’m busy only when opportunities present themselves. Being able to control my own schedule and never having to worry about being laid off or scandal forcing resignation were some of the reasons why I decided early on to work for myself instead of working for someone else.

  138. Jacob says:

    @KMS

    Keep projecting. Being a shrew is not making you any more attractive.

  139. Jacob says:

    “I didn’t know education improved genes!?! Maybe make you more desirable to some females, but gene wise… c’mon!”

    Until we can pin point the loci on the genome leading to academic success, phenotype is the only thing we have to go by.

    “Everybody is free to do whatever they please with their genitals, including fertile 20 somethings. Who are you to tell them to not have fun and be liberated?”

    I’m not telling anyone not to have fun or be liberated. I’m only asking young women to consider the alternative path that would make their own lives happier and more fulfilling in the not so long term. It’s just like I’d recommend young men in their teens and early 20’s to study hard and work out, instead of masturbating. Yes, for young woman to get laid is about as easy as for young man to masturbate: no effort required, pleasurable in the short term but doing too much of it is a waste of time.

    Of course, everybody is free to do whatever they please with their own genitals. They just have to live with the consequences of their own actions.

    “Oh, yeah, only guys should get to ride the carrousel, right?”

    I wouldn’t recommend that to young men in their teens and early 20’s either if it interferes with their own long term future; especially not getting someone pregnant before a viable career is built for the men. Pregnancy and early childhood means interruption for the mother’s career, but for the data it is time to lean on a career/profession in order to support the child and the mother.

    Also, there is plenty time to ride on the carousel after child births. Perhaps enjoy the ride even more since there is no more biological clock to worry about, and for the lucky members of the program, there is no need to worry much about money either while having a good time.

    “All that education and high IQ don’t make you open minded, Jacob. Que paso?
    And the biologic clock preaching, it’s getting old.”

    I have an open mind, but not an empty one.

  140. Jacob says:

    @FB
    “I would have expected a something along the lines of an ISI highly cited researcher, a well known author/musician/artist or a innovative business person.”

    LOL. The hope is that someone, many someones, of higher caliber than myself will be inspired to produce more. I was an accomplished artist, with quite a few national awards to my name, and a innovative business person, managing to produce 30+% per year growth for most of my career so far, except for the couple years wasted on the former SB/GF (I do not regret that experience). As Steve Jobs once correctly observed, every innovation will be obsolete, many will be within a couple decades of its invention; I will add, especially business methods that can not be patented.

    “Did you publish any papers during your Masters degree at least?”

    Yes,

  141. caroleweb says:

    I am sorry but I believe he majority of guys in here are just people stingy, playing around and generally few are really rich , mmost are just employees just managers , these guys are even close to consider themselves wealthy

  142. Kelly says:

    Wow, you guys all need to get a life.

  143. Elaine says:

    @Fbastard

    “I am curious what you do for a living, what is your educational background (degrees and major) and how you attained your wealth. What other talents do you have? I ask because I wonder why you think that your genes are so important to saving the world from an impending disaster.”

    I am very curious too, but for another reason: Why would a extremely succesful businessman always have to brag about his wealth (10 times average childsupport was mentioned approx. 300 times by now) and intelligence, constantly repeating his idea of creating multiple middle class families and the costs of this project on a stupid blog?!

    Everytime he gets challenged he is reacting and defending himself.
    How often now has he explained why he had to change his nickname and prove he was not blocked??
    Why would one in his position even care about what some blog strangers think?
    Come on, get a life!

    For me it is exactly the opposite of how any selfconfident, extremely intelligent, busy and succesful multimillionaire would react.

    His reactions speak for themselves….

  144. Nicegirl says:

    @kms – Maybe Jacob should use a few lines from Mr. Rogers to enhance his pick up lines to these SB’s. It might encourage them to become impregnated by him. Dorky did a fine job adding a little creative license, I am sure Jacob could make a few lines his own and the good thing is that that SB’s will think it is all his own original material! Really it could work. lol

  145. Kms2014 says:

    “Jacob says:
    September 26, 2014 at 4:15 pm
    @KMS
    I see, projecting again. Read the context, the mention was not a boast. The general tone of the post was self-deprecating.”

    The mention was not a boast? Really? There is no such thing as a self-deprecating jacoby subshineSDofyourshineloveforyouuterus. It doesn’t exist…it can never happen, it is oxymoronic in your world even to put it in the same sentence. You cannot even take a joke about yourself. You are such an
    egotistical megalomaniac that it is comical to read your posts….but some people never get it. Hope you get help one day…Maybe, the Professor will help you once you arrive on your own sunshiny owned version of Gilligan’s Island…

  146. sweetie says:

    Jacob “I think my genes are passable. LOL. Engeering Master’s degree from one of the top 3 STEM universities in the country, with a college minor in fine arts…”

    I didn’t know education improved genes!?! Maybe make you more desirable to some females, but gene wise… c’mon!
    Everybody is free to do whatever they please with their genitals, including fertile 20 somethings. Who are you to tell them to not have fun and be liberated? Oh, yeah, only guys should get to ride the carrousel, right?
    All that education and high IQ don’t make you open minded, Jacob. Que paso?
    And the biologic clock preaching, it’s getting old.

  147. FatB'StardSA says:

    @Jacob

    I would have expected a something along the lines of an ISI highly cited researcher, a well known author/musician/artist or a innovative business person.

    Did you publish any papers during your Masters degree at least?

  148. Josh says:

    @Alexis

    “Sorry, no offense but honestly… who wants a SB all in their business like that? Yikadoodles!”

    Trust SophieinSac. She never makes stuff up. I promise. 😉

  149. Alexis says:

    “I would like to meet some one for coffee or something, then give my phone number after if we actually hit it off. Is that asking too much?”

    As a SB, I don’t give any pot my phone number until after we’ve spoken on the phone. I ask for his number and block my own. So far it hasn’t been a problem for any man, fortunately.

    “For the SB’s who may have wandered into the blog for the first time you now have a better understanding of how a happy Saturday afternoon in the neighborhood bar can turn into a blood soaked brawl in a heartbeat……”

    LMAO

    “Third, if you are for real – give her your real name. You don’t want to give your real name to every single SB on the site. But if you exchange a few quick emails or messages, YOU can screen HER. If you think SHE’S for real, give her your real name. I am much more likely to set up a first date QUICKLY if I can google the guy first, see that he is not a registered sex offender, see that his photo matches up, his job/income are legit, he has a LinkedIn profile, etc.”

    Sorry, no offense but honestly… who wants a SB all in their business like that? Yikadoodles!

  150. DorkyGuy says:

    new blog topic is up

  151. “there are demons in there…”

  152. Jacob says:

    correction: pursuit of likely abortive career is the logical facade. The real emotional drive for the early 20’s crowd in delaying having baby is the cock carousel validation machine.

  153. Jacob says:

    @RSD

    Two reasons:
    1. Due to sustained cultural brain washing, most of today’s young women are brain washed into suppress their child bearing urges in their early 20’s in favor of abortive pursuit of professional careers that will most likely be interrupted when the kids come along. Girls in their late teens are crazy about babies, then the late 20’s to early 30’s women hearing their biological clock ticking are also eager to have children, but the ones in the prime reproductive years of the early 20’s are conditioned to transfer such urges to cats, dogs and projects.

    2. Women on SA are more likely to realize the importance of having sufficient resources (due to lack of) as a necessary condition for certain life’s decisions, and more amenable to having an older partner around 40 while they are in their 20’s.

  154. RSD says:

    @jacob, what I want to know is why you’re looking for a co-parenting partner on SA. I think you’d have a better chance of finding a girl desperate to get knocked up on regular dating sites.

  155. Jacob says:

    @KMS
    I see, projecting again. Read the context, the mention was not a boast. The general tone of the post was self-deprecating.

  156. Jacob says:

    @Dorkster,

    “1) Are you concerned primarily with genes, mental stability, and parenting skills? Is her attractiveness part of the criteria?”

    All of the above. Men are evolutionarily programmed to find signs of fecundity in women as attractive. I like skinny women, but healthy skinny, not sickly skinny.

    “2) How do you sell this to someone whose primary motivation for having children is emotional, and for whom such a decision is intensely personal? What is your pitch to the childless woman that she should have children with you?”

    Women make most decisions by emotions, not by logic. When woman having sex with a man, she is running the risk of having child with him, especially when no contraception is used. So the emotional standards are more or less the same for both actions. The decision to keep or abort the fetus is not really the man’s to make under current law. What a woman does speaks much louder than what she says. I’m actually extremely careful about not knocking up anyone by accident before I can be sure that the woman is up to my standards to be the mother of my children.

  157. Kms2014 says:

    People who boast about their I.Q. are losers.

    -Stephen Hawking

    Have a lovely weekend everyone (:

  158. Jacob says:

    @FB
    I think my genes are passable. LOL. Engeering Master’s degree from one of the top 3 STEM universities in the country, with a college minor in fine arts, which actually made more money for me than the engineering degree per se; largely because I never worked for someone else as a staff engineering after getting out of school. I owned several lines of businesses. Most of my wealth came from investing and trading, but one business utilizing the applied fine art minor serving the public did make more money for me during a 2-3 year time span than my investment/trading income.

    Like I mentioned before, I’m doing this not because my genes are superior (although I do have a 140 IQ). The impending disaster I see is demographic: both the rapidly expanding wealth gap, and the even more serious problem in cultural and memic evolution: historically when sex becomes open and women become “liberated,” the societal fertility collapsed shortly afterwards. It happened to the Ancient Geeks after they attained enlightenment (replaced by the much more “robustly reproducing” Romans), Romans (liberated Romans were replaced by babarians and Christians pushing a much more uptight society that advocated male dominance). Look around the world today, what’s the up-and-coming “robustly reproducing” culture that put women to their biological tasks? The Islamists! Not that I discriminate Islam, but do we really want another 500 years of dark age like when the liberated Romans were replaced by benighted barbarians and Christian fundamentalists?

    In a sexualized society, for a woman, the freedom to ride cock carousel in her 20’s is just so much more fun than the serious business of having children, especially if the likely young partner is not able to provide sufficient resources and support for child raising. She can get sexual validation so much more easily than getting validation through career or profession or from pretty much anything else. Then she will regret it in her 30’s and beyond. The egg-freezing exercise is nothing more than those women gradually coming to grips with the reality that their eggs will not have future. That’s how the Roman culture died, and the ancient Greek culture before them. What I propose is secular/pluralistic/individualistic Reproductivism. You can believe whatever you want, just reproduce! so we don’t get run over by a bunch of religious zealots who are pressured into reproducing by their benighted religions (ever wonder why almost all successful religions were against abortions? Not that I’m against abortion.) Embrace equality/enlightenment/sexual-liberation/self-discovery/whatever after the reproductive task is done and out of the way, which for a woman is only a few years in her 20’s. After that, especially when she has parents and/or partners who have the means to make raising the children relatively painless, she is free to pursue whatever she wants, both career-wise and in her personal life, without having to worry about the biological clock ticking or interrupting.

  159. flyR says:

    “””Secondly, I think you will have difficulty finding women to volunteer. Except in the most outlying welfare fraud cases, women don’t intentionally choose to have children out-of-wedlock for profit. The 2.1 kids they tend to have are usually the result of accidents, or being in love… not a financial bargain. I don’t think that will change. Having children is usually an emotional decision (when it is a decision), and not a financial one.”””

    Actually there was a very wonderful mother here on SA who was looking for a co-parenting relationship. Very intelligent, awesome mother, wanted the father to be very much a part of the kid’s life.

  160. Nicegirl says:

    @Dorky… awwww xxoo and a quick flash! lol

    Lockdown huh? Wow that would explain why you never see or hear any clips anywhere. That is a shame.

  161. SophieinSac says:

    I agree SBs need to be available, willing to come to a location that is convenient for the SD, and willing to meet right away and not drag it out. However, here are some thoughts on why it is important to be willing to exchange *some* messages/emails and not completely cross someone off the list just because she won’t meet after ONE photo exchange.

    First, both parties need to have a screening process. Otherwise, you arrange first dates quickly and then the guy (or girl) never shows. You can waste a lot of time being stood up. A few quick messages will help you see if the person is flaky, responsive, speaks in complete sentences, etc.

    Second, if you meet too quickly, you have a date and find out you are not in the same ballpark on expectations. My profile is clear, clear, clear and still I have dates with guys who want to offer me $300 even after I have very politely said in our emails that some things are negotiable but that we need to at least have the same *range* in mind. Men – I’m doing this to save your precious time! If you want a girl for $300, you don’t need to waste two hours buying me dinner and having me say no.

    Third, if you are for real – give her your real name. You don’t want to give your real name to every single SB on the site. But if you exchange a few quick emails or messages, YOU can screen HER. If you think SHE’S for real, give her your real name. I am much more likely to set up a first date QUICKLY if I can google the guy first, see that he is not a registered sex offender, see that his photo matches up, his job/income are legit, he has a LinkedIn profile, etc.

    Some men ask for your phone number in the very first message, and I do not give out my phone number until AFTER we are in an arrangement. Otherwise, I would be changing my phone number every few weeks from endless messages from guys I’m not in an arrangement with and/or lewd photos. I set up first dates via email, and I email to say I’m on my way or I’m here and waiting at the bar, or whatever it may be. Most people have access to email on their phones.

    I agree you need to take initiative, be available to meet, and follow up. But you need a good screening process that *includes* a few messages/emails to avoid wasting time on both sides. It’s much easier to spend five minutes on an email than to spend two hours getting ready, make-up, outfit, driving, waiting, waiting, and the guy doesn’t show. Or he shows, you have a wonderful first date, and then he’s not offering something you’re willing to accept. (Goes both ways, too. Maybe he’s looking for something that you’re not willing to offer.)

  162. DorkyGuy says:

    @Nicegirl~ Because it’s you… I like! It’s not the things you wear. It’s not the way you do your hair. Ok, maybe it’s your boobs a little. But it’s you, I like!

    Sadly, PBS has the episodes on lockdown :/ Gotta buy the DVD box set.

  163. Nicegirl says:

    @Dorky, “@KMS/NiceGirl~ Recently, I was shocked (shocked!) that neither of my children have heard of Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood. Clearly, I failed as a parent.”

    Yes, I think you have! Show them some shows on Youtube, I would guess you can find episodes there. “Won’t, you be, my neighbor?”….”Will you be my neighbor?” ;o)

  164. DorkyGuy says:

    @Jacob~ You would need to find women who would be enthusiastic to participate…

    1) Are you concerned primarily with genes, mental stability, and parenting skills? Is her attractiveness part of the criteria?

    2) How do you sell this to someone whose primary motivation for having children is emotional, and for whom such a decision is intensely personal? What is your pitch to the childless woman that she should have children with you?

  165. FatB'StardSA says:

    @Jacob

    I am curious what you do for a living, what is your educational background (degrees and major) and how you attained your wealth. What other talents do you have? I ask because I wonder why you think that your genes are so important to saving the world from an impending disaster.

  166. Jacob says:

    @Dorkster,

    Thank you for the good questions.

    1. I do not plan on utopia or remote. The separate households headed by the mothers will be spread out within a half-hour drive of a major metropolitan area. i.e. they will be typical middle class suburban households. Most neighbors would just assume they either had good paying careers themselves or divorced from rich ex-husbands. The vehicles coming on the weekends to help them trim trees and do major repair work around the house will be unmarked or marked with innocuous landscaping and construction company signs. People would not normally know they are part of the system.

    2. Sperm-jacking takes place frequently nowadays. IMHO, it is a fair counter-move to the men’s marriage avoidance, which is a fair counter-move to the feminist lobby enforced divorce-raping. I’m only proposing the next counter-move: planned co-parenting. Unlike the previous moves in the chess game that either bordered on shirking of responsibility (as far as using up the woman’s youth is concerned without giving her a retirement plan when is no longer young and fresh) or legally enforced fraud and robbery (forcible taking of the man’s assets without getting his consent), this move I’m thinking of is actually one that involves mutual consent. Yes, there are some emotional hurdle to over-come, on both sides, but we are all grown adults. It’s a new type of arrangement: one that gives the women more assurance and support than being a girlfriend, but doesn’t kill the men like marriage and divorce-rape.

    3. Being available as the father. I can spend far more time with the children than a typical father with 9-5 jobs. The kids can either play with me at my house concurrently with other kids or have me visit the mother’s house, which will likely be within half an hour drive from my house. The half-siblings, due to age difference as they arrive in laddered pattern one every few years, can also sit each other and play with each other, like normal siblings and cousins. Natural group dynamics and leadership will emerge.

    4. Answer to the next common question: no, I do not want to run them like a harem. The mothers can date others after the births of my children.

  167. DorkyGuy says:

    @KMS/NiceGirl~ Recently, I was shocked (shocked!) that neither of my children have heard of Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood. Clearly, I failed as a parent.

  168. Kms2014 says:

    “Nicegirl says:
    September 26, 2014 at 2:38 pm
    @kms “Ginger or Mary Ann?”

    Hehe, most all young SBs have probably never heard of that show ;)”

    I think the question is for the SD’s… Who would they want to be stranded with. I am pretty positive they know the show well.”

    Yes, I know, true…just was a thought and is funny because most SB’s have not seen it, necessarily, except if it is on Nick at night or something.

  169. DorkyGuy says:

    @Jacob~ I have read through your proposal… It sounds like you have put a lot of thought into it.

    I think it may stumble due to human nature, as well as incentives.

    First, trying to find a way for men to have children without divorce-rape would help a lot of men. However, there already exists a mechanism for that. We have an adoption system. If the man wants the child to be of his own genes, we have a surrogacy system. With both of these systems in place, I don’t see why a 1%’er would want to move to a remote utopia, when he can have his dream right at home.

    Secondly, I think you will have difficulty finding women to volunteer. Except in the most outlying welfare fraud cases, women don’t intentionally choose to have children out-of-wedlock for profit. The 2.1 kids they tend to have are usually the result of accidents, or being in love… not a financial bargain. I don’t think that will change. Having children is usually an emotional decision (when it is a decision), and not a financial one.

    The only market for this that I can see at all is if a traditional surrogate changes her mind and wants to be the mother. However, like I said, you don’t need to separate yourself from society for that. Mechanisms already exist to support it.

    I also worry about the practical implementation, because in your scenario the father does not live in the home, by default. That doesn’t sound good for the kids… and to me, the welfare of the kids is more important than what motivates either parent. Even if one parent is a 1%’er.

    Interesting idea though…

  170. Jacob says:

    I’m trying to arrange a precise survey, and find out how much of the sandy beach will be mine . . . as well as the erosion (if any) data over the past few decades.

  171. Nicegirl says:

    @kms “Ginger or Mary Ann?”

    Hehe, most all young SBs have probably never heard of that show ;)”

    I think the question is for the SD’s… Who would they want to be stranded with. I am pretty positive they know the show well.

  172. Jacob,

    Please can I live on your island, and conduct longitudinal research?

  173. Kms2014 says:

    Hey, go for it…populate the island with many Ginger’s and Mary Ann’s and their offspring 😉

  174. Jacob says:

    @KMS,
    You wish 😉 The island is within about one hour drive from a major metropolis. 4G data signal is available on the island. The parcel also comes with ownership of the causeway and a house on the mainland side.

  175. Kms2014 says:

    “DorkyGuy says:
    September 26, 2014 at 2:24 pm
    Is it like Gilligan’s Island?

    Talk about deep. This brings up the most fundamental question faced by men in the last century.

    Ginger or Mary Ann?”

    Hehe, most all young SBs have probably never heard of that show 😉

  176. “FatB’StardSA says:
    September 26, 2014 at 1:41 pm
    @ygtstfu

    Were you not the person going on about some sort of chipotle margarita mix? You are outraged that I have fun with my SB when she get’s high but you getting sloshed on margaritas is fine, and of course collage women never get high without a slimey SD around.

    You are exactly the kind of sanctimonious bitchy SB who wants mentoring I was talking about. My ex SB did not want some guy she just met to “mentor” her and change her life forever. That would be shallow. When was the last time you decided to change a strangers life by giving them money and mentoring them. Let’s put money aside for a moment, why not start by dating one of these slimey SD’s who are lonely and socially awkward. Maybe you could help them feel better about themselves. Probably not going to happen is it?

    P.S.

    I am interested in any high paying job opportunities you may have. I am a hard worker and I would consider myself a “people person”. Thanks for your offer :-).”

    If you’re trying to tug at my heart strings, you’ve done it. I never said anything about the lonely and socially awkward, and I’m sorry if that’s been your experience. What I think I hear you saying is that it’s the slimy SDs who need mentoring, and that I should consider taking one on as a project? Well, I’ll have you know that my heart (not my vagina) stretches far and wide, and that I do have a rare opportunity to adopt a seemingly socially awkward SD who believes in hoohah demons. Not sure if I’m up for it.

    That aside…

    I appreciate mentorship in many contexts, and I extend it where I’m fit.

    As for changing the lives of strangers…

    I do it everyday.

    As for a position at the restaurant…

    I appreciate that you are a hard worker. Unfortunately, I just hired a guy who recently finished graduate school. There will be an opening again once he secures full-time work in his field. I’ll keep ya in mind. You might make a fun addition to the team…people people are our kinds of people :).

  177. DorkyGuy says:

    Is it like Gilligan’s Island?

    Talk about deep. This brings up the most fundamental question faced by men in the last century.

    Ginger or Mary Ann?

  178. flyR says:

    As posted earlier, Ronald Reagan wrote the complete book of Sugar Baby survival and prosperity

    Trust But Verify

  179. flyR says:

    For the SB’s who may have wandered into the blog for the first time you now have a better understanding of how a happy Saturday afternoon in the neighborhood bar can turn into a blood soaked brawl in a heartbeat……

  180. Jacob says:

    Thanks, YGBKM.

  181. Kms2014 says:

    ” I had not been actively posting for quite a few days.”

    Gosh, that was a nice break, wasn’t it 😉

    “Someone offered me an opportunity to buy an island, so I have been working on that this past week, only reading the blog for amusement from time to time.”

    Is it like Gilligan’s Island? Will you move there and live in a straw hut, with no internet access and raise your isolated utopian society(like many cult leaders do) without access to the SA blog? What a great opportunity…you should totally buy it and go multiply, brother Jacob.

  182. Nicegirl says:

    FlyR… I would keep the toothpaste for your mouth ;o) Thank you for not toruring me over my TMI that Gentleman forced out of me.

  183. flyR says:

    @ Nicegirl – Colgate may be suing you in the near future…… I’ve purchased my last tube of mint-toothpaste ……

    Aside from excess information, your honesty is a nice contribution to the group

  184. “If that’s your understanding of what I offer, I would recommend you stop mentioning me altogether. At no time did I offer free home-run for drug addicts like you suggested in that post of yours. It was completely unnecessary to bring me up in that post of your debating with someone else. I had not been actively posting for quite a few days. Someone offered me an opportunity to buy an island, so I have been working on that this past week, only reading the blog for amusement from time to time.”

    Jacob, you’re right. I shouldn’t have brought you into my debate with someone else. I apologize.

    Best wishes on your island.

  185. flyR says:

    The above was written prior to seeing NC Gent’s comment

  186. flyR says:

    @ Lovelace “I find myself being a little complacent as I’m sure many others have been. I am legitimately interested in meeting an SD, however I always get worried when they ask for my phone number. I worry about putting myself in a potentially dangerous situation. I often stop replying after that point. Is it possible to meet some one before giving out such personal information? I would like to meet some one for coffee or something, then give my phone number after if we actually hit it off. Is that asking too much?”

    Preferred – get a throwaway phone

    Alternate – go directly from emails to daytime meet in very public place. Confirm that both can receive emails on phone in case you miss. I like to listen to someone on the phone before meeting because there is a lot that does not come across emailing-both positive and negative.

  187. NC Gent says:

    Lovelace — most but not all SDs will want to talk to you before investing in a meeting. You can get a google voice number so that you don’t have to give them your actual number. If they are obnoxious, you just block them on google voice or unlink it to our phone. Hope this helps.

  188. Nicegirl says:

    @Gentle… “BTW ,This is helpful and not out of the scope of this professional group.”

    Calling this group professional was so generous of you!

  189. FatB'StardSA says:

    @ygtstfu

    Were you not the person going on about some sort of chipotle margarita mix? You are outraged that I have fun with my SB when she get’s high but you getting sloshed on margaritas is fine, and of course collage women never get high without a slimey SD around.

    You are exactly the kind of sanctimonious bitchy SB who wants mentoring I was talking about. My ex SB did not want some guy she just met to “mentor” her and change her life forever. That would be shallow. When was the last time you decided to change a strangers life by giving them money and mentoring them. Let’s put money aside for a moment, why not start by dating one of these slimey SD’s who are lonely and socially awkward. Maybe you could help them feel better about themselves. Probably not going to happen is it?

    P.S.

    I am interested in any high paying job opportunities you may have. I am a hard worker and I would consider myself a “people person”. Thanks for your offer :-).

  190. gentleman soul says:

    OOPs ,sorry for the double post

  191. gentleman soul says:

    @YGBKM
    ” gentleman soul, based on Evie’s experiences, she would be better off with a serving gig.”

    Oh I totally agree with her loser . I’m just talking about a new nice SD

    @Nice

    I will totally take your regifted candy canes . And my question was actually a real one ,not a joke . I’m guessing a Fleet’s enema with an after dinner mint suppository ? oh ,I just saw mint oil -thanks ! BTW ,This is helpful and not out of the scope of this professional group.

    @My SB
    In her postcoital bliss She said I was so sweet today -Awwww ! See ,I’m only a jerk on the blog . She is letting that $50 go to her head .

  192. Nicegirl says:

    @ Gentle “I probably shouldn’t analyze that too deeply”

    I so want to say something here… but I will be a lady and keep it to myself” ;o)

  193. Jacob says:

    “please take off your prayer robe. Im not at all interested in digging up the many post of yours that support my comment. You, on the other hand, could find none to support your hideous remarks toward children. Garantizado.”

    If that’s your understanding of what I offer, I would recommend you stop mentioning me altogether. At no time did I offer free home-run for drug addicts like you suggested in that post of yours. It was completely unnecessary to bring me up in that post of your debating with someone else. I had not been actively posting for quite a few days. Someone offered me an opportunity to buy an island, so I have been working on that this past week, only reading the blog for amusement from time to time.

  194. Josh says:

    Its Kms2014’s fault.

  195. Nicegirl says:

    @gentleman… you are KILLING me. No one will want to talk to me on this blog now…

    I don’t us Fleet – I have an enema kit and I add 5 drops of mint oil to the solution. Now I am confident that was TMI for sure. Are your happy that I told you the minty fresh facts?

  196. gentleman soul says:

    @Dorky
    I probably shouldn’t anal-yze that too deeply

    No Butts about it ! I wouldn’t PooPoo your thoughts

  197. gentleman soul says:

    @YGBKM
    ” gentleman soul, based on Evie’s experiences, she would be better off with a serving gig.”

    Oh I totally agree with her loser . I’m just talking about a new nice SD

    @Nice

    I will totally take your regifted candy canes . And my question was actually a real one ,not a joke . I’m guessing a Fleet’s enema with an after dinner mint suppository ?

    @My SB
    In her postcoital bliss She said I was so sweet today -Awwww ! See ,I’m only a jerk on the blog . She is letting that $50 go to her head .

  198. Jacob says:

    @Dorkster,

    There are several reasons:

    1. I’m envisioning this as a system not just for myself but also for any one-percenter/two-percenter interested in having a better future society yet trying to avoid divorce-rape to consider for themselves, and share the lessons learned. The means is there for them. How the future generations are used do matter: especially for the top 1% or 2%, whose capital will ultimately have to find the good labor in the next generation in order to continue their career and retirement plans.

    2. We are already living in a society where nearly half of children are born to single-mothers (more than half in some demographics), and half of marriages fail. And the young are avoiding marriage in increasing numbers. That means, the vast majority of kids are being raised or soon to be raised in single family households, usually headed by the mother. So for a woman in her early 20’s, she has much higher than 50% chance of raising her child/children on her own. The statistical likelihood is probably even higher for young women on SA, simply because durability of marriage is correlated with income level and out-of-wed-lock birth rate is inversely correlated to income. In that case, finding a man of sufficient wattage (ie. divorce-worthy) to help herself in that eventuality is of crucial importance.

    3. Compared to tax and welfare transfers, the non-married father can the mother and the child/children much more directly and more efficiently, and be far more committed to the well being of the mother and the children. Very few men would shirk their responsibility when they can afford it. So punch the statistically 2.1 tickets for the young woman before she makes mistakes that would destroy her own life as well as the lives of her 2.1 children is of crucial importance.

    4. There is also the demographic issue: with the decimation of middle class, the fertility rate is dropping rapidly in this country, especially among the middle class. For the relatively well off, having multiple children is a way of encouraging genetic diversity as well as producing more middle class in the next generation, instead of a few super rich among a sea of poverty.

    5. For me personally, both the children and the mothers will quickly become more potential assets than potential liabilities.

    6. For the young mother, at 10x or more national average for child support, it’s not just a sum sufficient to cover child support, but also an opportunity for her to go to school, rebuild or relaunch a career that she can have after the first few most demanding child raising years are behind her, so she can have a career without interruption starting in her late 20’s to early 30’s and continue through her retirement, without having to worry about the biological clock or blank hole in her resume.

  199. Nicegirl says:

    @Gentle, Dorky

    “Yep ,we don’t want to backside–er backslide here”

    We need an X- rated sex blog here. It might get some interesting conversion. Some tips too! ;o) just saying…

    “DorkyGuy says:
    September 26, 2014 at 1:23 pm
    So now I am craving chocolate covered candy canes… is that weird?”

    As someone has already alluded to I can provide the candy canes but I am fresh out of chocolate… sorry ;o)

  200. Lovelace says:

    I find myself being a little complacent as I’m sure many others have been. I am legitimately interested in meeting an SD, however I always get worried when they ask for my phone number. I worry about putting myself in a potentially dangerous situation. I often stop replying after that point. Is it possible to meet some one before giving out such personal information? I would like to meet some one for coffee or something, then give my phone number after if we actually hit it off. Is that asking too much?

  201. “DorkyGuy says:
    September 26, 2014 at 1:23 pm
    So now I am craving chocolate covered candy canes… is that weird?

    I probably shouldn’t anal-yze that too deeply”

    Not too deeply, DorkyGuy…just the tip, maybe

  202. Nicegirl says:

    @ ygbkm “Hehe…Are you suggesting soap-on-the-rope? At least there’s a string for safe measures!”

    LMAO!!!

  203. “Jacob says:
    September 26, 2014 at 12:57 pm
    “Im not even going to repost the the comment you made, but that you think that’s an acceptable remark to make in any context ever, is utterly atrocious. You ought have no fingers with which to type or tongue with which to speak. What a coward you are.”

    I’m glad you too realize that hiding injurious insults behind a facade of false humor is cowardice. Next time, please pause before seeking humor at my expense.”

    Jacob, please take off your prayer robe. Im not at all interested in digging up the many post of yours that support my comment. You, on the other hand, could find none to support your hideous remarks toward children. Garantizado.

    So please, just save the justifications, and pull yourself together.

  204. DorkyGuy says:

    So now I am craving chocolate covered candy canes… is that weird?

    I probably shouldn’t anal-yze that too deeply

  205. gentleman soul says:

    @Nice

    @Dorky… I don’t ask anyone to do anything they don’t want to do…. I won’t say more because this could go downhill very quickly – lol

    Yep ,we don’t want to backside–er backslide here

  206. “Nicegirl says:
    September 26, 2014 at 1:10 pm
    @ygbkm… “You’re not fully clean unless youre mintfully clean! Or is it zestfully clean?”

    both and all of your bases are covered!”

    Hehe…Are you suggesting soap-on-the-rope? At least there’s a string for safe measures!

  207. Anyway…

    Evie…

    It sounds like you are a humble, modest girl who just wants a decent guy to share you time, and help you with very basic needs. These are things that many traditional relationships offer. I might lack experience in this realm of dating, but what I will tell you is that if a man with a million dollar+ net worth is trying to negotiate your very limited budget request, you need to leave him be. This isnt happy hour at Maxie’s.

    First thing…never stop improving yourself, and crush whatever makes you feel that anything outside of bluecollar is beyond your scope…unless of course, that’s your complacency of choice, and find a way to make it work for you if it is. Make it a point to develop yourself, to appreciate difference, to welcome new experiences and create your own. You gotta step outside the box, step outside of Toms River, NJ, step outside the limitations of your own mind.

    And Im not talking about in this sugar world…I dont know shit about this place. These things are essential in the most basic sense of starting with yourself.

  208. Nicegirl says:

    @ygbkm… “You’re not fully clean unless youre mintfully clean! Or is it zestfully clean?”

    both and all of your bases are covered!

  209. DorkyGuy says:

    @Jacob, I can’t say I have ever heard that concept before.

    What is the draw for you? Do you just want lots of kids, because you enjoy the relationship? Or is it about building a legacy?

    It seems like having children spread in multiple homes would make it *very* difficult to be an involved father and build the kind of relationships that these kids need with their dad.

    That sounds like one of those things that probably looks good on paper, but the actual implementation would be messy and hurt a lot of people.

  210. Jacob says:

    “Im not even going to repost the the comment you made, but that you think that’s an acceptable remark to make in any context ever, is utterly atrocious. You ought have no fingers with which to type or tongue with which to speak. What a coward you are.”

    I’m glad you too realize that hiding injurious insults behind a facade of false humor is cowardice. Next time, please pause before seeking humor at my expense.

  211. Jacob says:

    “Beware of Jacob, formerly, SunshineSD, sunshineofyourlove, sunshineuterusenvy….he wants to have many children from various sugar babies, that would otherwise be destined for drugs and poverty, in a baby farm type utopian society, where he pays 10x above the average annual child support, but he hates it when his ideas/theories are teased.”

    Sunshineofyourlove was someone else. Sunshineuterusenvy is a figment of KMS’ imagination.

    Not in a baby farm type utopian society, but simply with each mother separately supported in a household headed by herself, just like a normal divorce settlement or child-support arrangement with off-site co-parenting contribution from the father in terms of money as well as time. Compared to other divorcees and mother who never married, she will be getting a child support that is more than 10x the national average, as well as a well-oiled support network run by the father, yours truly.

    In other words, instead of schemes of sperm-jacking me, let’s have an honest discussion about the prospects and long-term support for the SB’s/young-mother’s future career, both as a mother and as a professional woman given a new opportunity (essentially a trust fund) to rebuild/relaunch her career . . . as well as creating the best possible pre-natal environment for the child/children.

  212. jacob,

    Im not even going to repost the the comment you made, but that you think that’s an acceptable remark to make in any context ever, is utterly atrocious. You ought have no fingers with which to type or tongue with which to speak. What a coward you are.

  213. DorkyGuy says:

    @YGBKM~ Personally, I agree.

    While you see a big range of attitudes on the SD side, don’t forget that there is also a big range of attitudes on the SB side. There are SBs out there that are perfect matches for the SDs that you find obnoxious.

    IMHO, men and women will ultimately pair up with partners with shared attitudes and interests. FB and others will find plenty of girls who just want something shallow. Flyr and others will find plenty of girls who dig mentoring and care.

    As disturbing as you may find the behavior of some SDs, they are actually doing girls a service by being so plainspoken. Better for FB and others to say plainly what he wants, so that he can attract girls that want the same thing, than for him to pretend to be something else and then surprise a girl who isn’t on the same page.

  214. “Nicegirl says:
    September 26, 2014 at 12:32 pm
    @ygbkm… “Why am I complacent? Because Id rather eat regifted candy canes for dinner than settle for some scum bag looking to take advantage of my situation.”

    …even if they came out of my minty ass? lol, sorry had to ask though”

    Youre not fully clean unless youre mintfully clean!

    :/

    Or is it zestfully clean?

  215. Jacob says:

    “Anti-drug policy? Are you Nancy Reagan now?”

    No, I’m alive; she is dead. Jokes aside, I don’t advocate more strict law enforcement against drug use (not the best of use my tax money); however, I have decided to cut contact with people who use drugs, unless they clean up.

    “Clearly association with women on drugs has been the experience or desire of several goldentips here.”

    And the experiences have been almost universally bad.

    “You are one who seems to think that the majority of women need saved from the dark valley of drugs and despair.”

    Not the majority of women in general, but quite likely the statistical majority (i.e. 50.1% or more) of women on SA.

    “Sadly, the one’s in most need are the easiest to take advantage of…the easiest to exploit, and the easiest to discard. ”

    That’s almost always the case since time immemorial. That’s why I have put together a set of personal rules about cases that I would not touch, avoiding taking advantage of them as well avoiding eventually discarding.

  216. Kms2014 says:

    “DorkyGuy says:
    September 26, 2014 at 12:29 pm
    How the hell did the blog devolve to anal sex with children?

    I am like 80% sure that that is not a keyword SA wants associated with the brand in Google index. 20% of me is uncertain, because all publicity is good publicity.”

    Beware of Jacob, formerly, SunshineSD, sunshineofyourlove, sunshineuterusenvy….he wants to have many children from various sugar babies, that would otherwise be destined for drugs and poverty, in a baby farm type utopian society, where he pays 10x above the average annual child support, but he hates it when his ideas/theories are teased.n

  217. Kms2014 says:

    @ygbkm…the general consensus is that most of the blog SD’s are not in your target market…the blog is for entertaining banter, so try not to get discouraged that all the men who post here are representative of the good SD’s. Most here are nothing like the men I have had arrangements with. And, there are good SD’s who post here…am referring to the bat shit crazy ones who want to impregnate druggie SBs who end up getting pregnate by xbox broke druggie player boyfriends, for example. Not that such a crazy scenario exists, but just for example’s sake 😉

  218. Nicegirl says:

    @ygbkm… “Why am I complacent? Because Id rather eat regifted candy canes for dinner than settle for some scum bag looking to take advantage of my situation.”

    …even if they came out of my minty ass? lol, sorry had to ask though

  219. DorkyGuy says:

    How the hell did the blog devolve to anal sex with children?

    I am like 80% sure that that is not a keyword SA wants associated with the brand in Google index. 20% of me is uncertain, because all publicity is good publicity.

  220. Nicegirl says:

    @FB… Ok then. Thanks for that super honest answer

  221. Jacob says:

    “@FB…sometimes, secret desires or projecting comes out from brother Jacob, in his banter…he does want to raise a farm of young children, ermmm…..and he does talk of drugs and his SBs quite a bit…”

    There is indeed a very good reason for my anti-drug policy: from what I have learned about the KidMolestingPsycho, I would not want to any drug user to be the mother of my children.

  222. FatB'StardSA says:

    @Nicegirl

    I thought it was obvious but the answer is yes.

    I have a theory that most attractive young women want to suck my dick. Society has conditioned these women through FatB’Stard dick sucking shaming to curtail their natural desire. The drugs let them see the truth and they suck my dick the way they have always wanted to.

  223. Kms2014 says:

    Ohhh, am soooo scared of bro Jacob….sooo scared 😉

  224. Kms2014 says:

    “FatB’StardSA says:
    September 26, 2014 at 12:17 pm
    @Jacob

    That was Nasty!”

    @FB…sometimes, secret desires or projecting comes out from brother Jacob, in his banter…he does want to raise a farm of young children, ermmm…..and he does talk of drugs and his SBs quite a bit…

  225. Nicegirl says:

    @Dorky.. No I didn’t think that. I am very open about it and what I like and if someone doesn’t like then that is their prerogative.

  226. FatB'StardSA says:

    @Jacob

    That was Nasty!

  227. Kms2014 says:

    But, think we are getting closer to the reason brother Jacob is wanting to raise a farm of little boys…on his baby farm. As they say, ‘there is much truth said in jest’, sayeth brother Jacob.

  228. DorkyGuy says:

    @NG~ lol… I have just been having fun making lighthearted puns on the topic, but it just occurred to me that you may have felt I was running you down. Quite the opposite, I admire people who can talk openly and have fun doing it. Criticizing such talk would be a douchie thing for me to do!

  229. Kms2014 says:

    Oh gosh, Jacobshine….you are smoking from the super grumpy wumpy pipe today, but never the peace pipe…no sense of humour…how sad…very sad ):

  230. FatB'StardSA says:

    @youneedtostfu

    FYI. There was a positive correlation between how high my SB was and her ability to get my dick really slimey.

  231. Nicegirl says:

    Look… some people like to flush it out and be clean while others prefer to walk around full of shit and talking shit.

  232. DorkyGuy says:

    It could go downhill or down the pooper, so to speak 😉

    It is a slippery slope…

  233. Nicegirl says:

    Kms… thanks, thanks for that – lol

  234. FatB'StardSA says:

    @youneedtostfu

    Allow me to explain it to you. I could spend an evening getting high and drunk with a SB and have fun (and drug fueled sex) or “mentor” someone like yourself and be bored out of my mind.

    Why the fuck does someone who makes more in 2.5 hours serving nachos than a “professional” need a mentor anyway.

  235. Kms2014 says:

    It could go downhill or down the pooper, so to speak 😉

  236. Nicegirl says:

    @Dorky… I don’t ask anyone to do anything they don’t want to do…. I won’t say more because this could go downhill very quickly – lol

  237. DorkyGuy says:

    @Nicegirl~ Do you make your gentleman partner similarly prepare?

  238. “Josh says:
    September 26, 2014 at 11:12 am
    @yougottaberakingitin

    “When I worked as a server, my shifts were 2.5-6 hours long, and I made more money than some do in their professional careers.”

    Do tell sweetheart, what exactly was going on with that situation?

    What exactly were you serving, and what kind of outfits/props were you wearing for that job?

    Which “professional careers” are you comparing that income with?

    I am all ear!”

    I worked in an upscale establishment where children didnt have to cover their eyes, Gurulove. Lunch was 11:30-2pm, siesta in between, dinner 5-11 (broken up into opening and closing shifts). I made as much working parttime as my friends in entry level degree positions did in a 40-hr work week. It’s a reputable independent restaurant that doesnt compromise service and quality. The servers are pleasant, attentive, knowledgeable and personable, and have solid work ethic. There is very low turnover rate, and highly loyal client base. Oh…and no hash, by the way. Though Id rather sling hash than ride the heels of El Cheapo.

  239. Nicegirl says:

    Somehow I knew that anal chat was probably a bit too far for this blog… thanks for bringing it up gentleman ;o) Good thing sex doesn’t embarrass me to talk about.

  240. Nicegirl says:

    @Gentle… “What is your bowel prep of choice to exude the minty flavor ?”

    That is definitely not for this blog! ;o)

  241. DorkyGuy says:

    @YGBKM~ “How do you know it’s not genetics?”

    That is possible! Maybe peppermint runs in her genes (jeans?)

  242. Josh says:

    @complicatedSB

    “@yougottabekiddingme I could kiss you for your comment at 11.22am. :)”

    That could be pretty sexy if done right. 😉

  243. Jacob says:

    @yougottabehigh

    Put down the drugs you are having. There was no excuse to drag me into this, especialy with a description that is exactly the opposite of my anti-drug policy. I’m sure you don’t want to be described a drug whore, likewise at variance with what your own description of your behavior has been.

  244. complicatedSB says:

    @yougottabekiddingme I could kiss you for your comment at 11.22am. :) I’m looking at some of the supposed SDs on here and fervently hoping they never darken my e-doorstep.

  245. “DorkyGuy says:
    September 26, 2014 at 11:12 am
    “As for a smell… you do prep not just go for it… that could be messy and gross. My ass smells like peppermint Josh” ~ NiceGirl

    Note to self.. if NiceGirl sends you a box of candy canes for Christmas, regift it.”

    How do you know it’s not genetics?

  246. Josh says:

    @yougottaberakingitin

    “When I worked as a server, my shifts were 2.5-6 hours long, and I made more money than some do in their professional careers.”

    Do tell sweetheart, what exactly was going on with that situation?

    What exactly were you serving, and what kind of outfits/props were you wearing for that job?

    Which “professional careers” are you comparing that income with?

    I am all ear! 😉

  247. DorkyGuy says:

    “As for a smell… you do prep not just go for it… that could be messy and gross. My ass smells like peppermint Josh” ~ NiceGirl

    Note to self.. if NiceGirl sends you a box of candy canes for Christmas, regift it.

  248. Josh says:

    @FatB’StardSA

    First paragraph: Right on brother.

    Second paragraph: That would indeed be the grandest way to kick the bucket for flyR.

  249. “FatB’StardSA says:
    September 26, 2014 at 10:39 am
    I would rather have a SB that wanted to shop, buy drugs and get a boob job than one who wanted a complete stranger to help her career. The few I met that wanted mentoring were the most uptight bitches on the site with egos so big that most SD’s would look humble in comparison. I feel sorry for the SB who has to listen to FlyR drone on and on about wagon wheels during his mentoring.

    @Flyr
    You have one foot in the grave. Go out snorting coke off a SB’s tits instead of giving a marketing lecture. People may laugh at you in public but every guy will all envy you in private.”

    FatBstard? You ok, friend?

  250. “gentleman soul says:
    September 26, 2014 at 8:12 am
    @Evie @YGTBKM Your request seems like an allowance than any SD would be able to support, but honestly I think youd be better off picking up one night a week on a serving gig.

    I think your allowance is perfect ! Not greedy and what you need . You say you want your physical needs met too . So find that guy who will pay -even weekly ,and forget the serving gig . Would you rather work 8 hrs on your feet slinging hash or getting laid with a guy you like ? Hmmmm -that shouldn’t be so hard .”

    gentleman soul, based on Evie’s experiences, she would be better off with a serving gig.

    And who said anything about slinging hash? Or 8-hour shifts? When I worked as a server, my shifts were 2.5-6 hours long, and I made more money than some do in their professional careers.

    At the current rate, it is actually costing Evie money to date this guy, and she’s not even getting humped. Dump his ass, and at least youll still have gas money. You can buy your own lunch and dinner for that matter.

    Maybe this is where my own complacency comes in again. Why put up with the hassle when I can do the same all my own with a fraction of the headache. Oh! Forgot to mention…I also got a free meal during that 2.5-6 hour shift. Evie would break even just by showing up.

    Sir cheapster shouldve driven his celibate ass to an ATM, or IN THE LEAST!!! Compensated her and been better prepared for the next date.

    Curious to know how some of you guys would react if a sugarlove forgot her pussy two dates in a row…left in on the kitchen counter in a rush to meet you.

  251. FatB'StardSA says:

    I would rather have a SB that wanted to shop, buy drugs and get a boob job than one who wanted a complete stranger to help her career. The few I met that wanted mentoring were the most uptight bitches on the site with egos so big that most SD’s would look humble in comparison. I feel sorry for the SB who has to listen to FlyR drone on and on about wagon wheels during his mentoring.

    @Flyr
    You have one foot in the grave. Go out snorting coke off a SB’s tits instead of giving a marketing lecture. People may laugh at you in public but every guy will all envy you in private.

  252. gentleman soul says:

    Re: Subs

    I have had a few Subs request a Dom experience and by nature I am not one. I got a bunch of books and read up ,but I think mentoring is the way to go .You can only read so much but it is the attitude as much as the action . So KK ,why don’t you try to hook up with a Dom to teach you ? Or we can just watch “Shades of Grey ” right ?

    @Nice

    What is your bowel prep of choice to exude the minty flavor ?

  253. “cuz I am special. I am Josh Guru.”

    pffff!
    [covers mouth to contain laughter]

    Special you are, babe…that’s why i luv u :)

  254. Josh says:

    @Gelana

    yes b/c yours is the only avatar that i can see and i scrolled through other blog posts”

    cuz I am special. I am Josh Guru.

    “you are antagonizing people on all of them”

    That depends on one’s vantage point, right?

  255. Kms2014 says:

    There are a few subs that have contacted me, in the past. this particular guy is 24. I have the domme look a little…dark red hair and pale skin, so a friend told me, anyways. If I did do it, then I would research and do it properly. Not just because he is ‘yay, cleaning my home and paying me, what a sucker’. If I do something, and commit to being a domme, then will do it properly…the problem is, not sure if I am cut out to be a domme….have been considering it, for men who are new to it, or not hard core…like a ‘soft sub’, if that is not proper term, then my apologies.

  256. gentleman soul says:

    @KMS

    “Probably while he has a collar on while I whip him to scrub my toilet…dunno. Am having second thoughts about this now, if he is being serious, hehe!”

    Try him out KK .This is an SB’s dream ! Get paid to abuse the SD and no sex involved -Whoa ,Nirvana !!

  257. flyR says:

    ON WHY THE SB NEEDS THE MONEY

    Imagine you walk into a nice cafe . You ask what’s on the menu and the waitress recommends the lunch special – it sounds good but the price is $50 and we’re in Kansas. Why – well she notes the owner likes expensive cars and bets on the horses.
    But it’s a burger you protest….. as you leave.

    rerun

    You walk in and are greeted by a friendly young woman who tells you about some wonderful treats, the quality of their food, you like the atmosphere and your hunger is aroused . You don’t grumble at paying 500% of what a quarter pounder which cheese would have run.

    message to SB’s You are not entitled to $X of sugar because you need it anymore than you should be asked to pay a premium because the owner of the restaurant has a gambling problem. HOWEVER, different SD’s will react positively to what brings you here. Before you share that with an SD consider the message it sends to that particular SD.

    @ Dorky – GREAT question – Most embarrassing was when it happened in Boston (Union Oyster House) where I was hosting a team of students there for a competition. I simply pulled another card and had that run. It was simply that the card had not been previously used within 2,000 miles.

    If I did not have cash on a date ( as it happened yesterday when I left for a business meeting without wallet) I would have seen that she had the cash and much more by the end of the evening.

    On the bright side, for a nominal (but very painful) amount she learned he was a flake.

    changing subject – Regarding the comment that men are just looking for cheaper hookers on SA – No doubt some are. However, most SD are looking for a very different relationship. If all the SB is bringing to the table is sex and all she wants is cash then she’s likely to attract those who are in fact looking for an alternative to the industrial debutante.

  258. NC Gent says:

    Dorky — it has happened once. I excused myself and called the credit card company and got it resolved in a few minutes. It is unfathomable to me that an SD would have a pot SB pay for a meal, let alone any legitimate expense incurred while together. That is effed up IMHO

  259. Gelana says:

    yes b/c yours is the only avatar that i can see and i scrolled through other blog posts and you are antagonizing people on all of them lol @Josh

  260. Kms2014 says:

    “DorkyGuy says:
    September 26, 2014 at 7:05 am
    @kms~ wait, you have a maid service? I doubt Evie’s SDs could afford a maid. What an interesting variety of demographics the site attracts.”

    @dorkyguy…well, I am an older SB, and am not in college or anything, and have a decent enough job, so I have someone come and clean two or three times a month. Not a live in housekeeper or anything 😉 the sub wanted to pay me to clean my house..Probably while he has a collar on while I whip him to scrub my toilet…dunno. Am having second thoughts about this now, if he is being serious, hehe!

  261. Josh says:

    @Gelana

    “Does @Josh work for SA?? Sorry if I sound ignorant.”

    Sure seems like it, yes? 😉

  262. DorkyGuy says:

    @Flyr/NcGent~ Let’s say your card was blocked while you were on a date… would you ask your date to pay, or would you just call the number on the card and get the block cleared?

  263. Gelana says:

    I am so silly flyR is a name used to post a comment

  264. Gelana says:

    @Kms2014 I am brand new to this site and to this type of dating in general and just started researching Dom and Sub relationships It is a lot to take in to say the least. So far everyone pretty much wants an escort on here as far as i can make out even if they say otherwise. Except half of the expenses that would go to an escort’s pocket goes to a SB bills instead? It seems the same. What is a flyR? Does @Josh work for SA?? Sorry if I sound ignorant.

  265. RedBone says:

    @ Gent and @ Josh—I am new as in less than 24 hours. I am new to the online thing but face to face I do know how to talk to men when it comes to my needs. It does not always go in my favor. AND of course you have to be able to adapt because everyone is different. But now I am so busy with school, work etc that I do not have time to go out with someone who’s intentions are very different from mind. They usually want long term/marriage. So I am on this site to see how it goes. But I do know one thing If we cannot agree to agree, we can very well agree to disagree and keep it moving. No need to waste my time nor yours. I cannot force you to do what i want you to do (same for him). So I will try to match my needs as close to his as I can to eliminate as many difference as I possible can WITH some negotiating. So GENT i actually liked your response. I just wanted to set it straight on how and not what I would do in that situation. which is more important to me.

  266. Josh says:

    It seems that a lot of Sugars here complain that they are not able to find a Daddy .Take any advice with a grain of salt but the SDs here write about what works for them . None of the SDs that I know of have trouble filling their dance card”

    Most of the SBs who come here “seeking advice” are as noncommittal to seeking advice as they are to seeking arrangements that work in real life for SDs.

    Most of them either want to vent, or chat with other SBs who will make them feel better.

    Then we have flyR–who I strongly believe–is a female pretending to be an 80-something SD. He/she throws them off with a strong spin. 😉

  267. Kms2014 says:

    “NC Gent says:
    September 26, 2014 at 8:03 am
    and p.s. I see helping my SB succeed and improve her life position as part of being an SD. It isn’t just flyr and RSD – many of my SD friends feel the same way too. If I wanted an escort experience, I know where to find that.”

    Good for you, NC….I knew I wasn’t the only one who had experience with this (:

  268. Kms2014 says:

    I meant, Gelana*

  269. Kms2014 says:

    Hi Delana, you want his profile? Unless, soulman wants him to bend over for him…he did ask first 😉 Hehe, he said he had a foot fetish, too, and loves to give foot massages. The paying you to clean your house and do dishes might be a ruse, though 😉 have heard that some subs enjoy cleaning for their domme woman,so don’t know.

  270. flyR says:

    ON WHY THE SB NEEDS THE MONEY

    Imagine you walk into a nice cafe . You ask what’s on the menu and the waitress recommends the lunch special – it sounds good but the price is $50 and we’re in Kansas. Why – well she notes the owner likes expensive cars and bets on the horses.
    But it’s a burger you protest….. as you leave.

    rerun

    You walk in and are greeted by a friendly young woman who tells you about some wonderful treats, the quality of their food, you like the atmosphere and your hunger is aroused . You don’t grumble at paying 500% of what a quarter pounder which cheese would have run.

    message to SB’s You are not entitled to $X of sugar because you need it anymore than you should be asked to pay a premium because the owner of the restaurant has a gambling problem. HOWEVER, different SD’s will react positively to what brings you here. Before you share that with an SD consider the message it sends to that particular SD.

    Personal preferences

    Responsible SB pursuing an education, getting started in a career, changing careers or simply struggling due to the economy. If it’s an overwhelming desire to go shopping, get plastic surgery or buy drugs we’re not going to work.

  271. Gelana says:

    @Kms2014 he pays you to do your dishes 0_0 sounds like some wonderful fantasy story lol

  272. gentleman soul says:

    RedBone says:

    @gentleman I briefly reviewed your response. a two date min would be something I would have in my mind.

    RB ,we each have our own way of navigating this system . If what you are doing works for you then keep it up . If not ,then you might have to change it up to adapt to the market demands .

    It seems that a lot of Sugars here complain that they are not able to find a Daddy .Take any advice with a grain of salt but the SDs here write about what works for them . None of the SDs that I know of have trouble filling their dance card

  273. Josh says:

    @Redbone

    “I am new to this site also.”

    How many successful arrangements have you had sweetheart?

  274. Josh says:

    Yes it is somewhat common practice for both SBs and SDs to let the membership slide and come back to it when they have interest and availability.

    I get responses from SBs weeks or even months from the time of either their or my initial contact.

  275. gentleman soul says:

    Kms2014 says:

    “There you go –we want what we want. Send him my way -free cleaning sounds good”

    Are you a good dominant, soulman? Bend over and take it like a man and stop complaining or the gag goes back on !

  276. NC Gent says:

    When I am traveling and I unknowingly purchase gas in a sketchy neighborhood with a credit card, my credit card gets blocked in minutes.

  277. RedBone says:

    @gentleman I briefly reviewed your response. a two date min would be something I would have in my mind. Of course if things seem to be headed in the right direction for both us (dependign on what my needs are AND his) then that is flexible. Nothing is set in stone and at the same time I have to have some type of boundary or limit. This way I can see far in advance as I can that this is not working. So it is not like I am going to pick up the phone (for the first time) and start talking to him and say “oh i give only two date and then your are out”. It would be more like, ” I need to know what is it you expect from me and then I will say what i expect and then I will also say that I will go out a FEW times to see how it goes but just keep in mind at a certain point you and me will have to decide if this is something you and I want to pursue based on the arrangement discussed prior”.

  278. gentleman soul says:

    @Evie @YGTBKM Your request seems like an allowance than any SD would be able to support, but honestly I think youd be better off picking up one night a week on a serving gig.

    I think your allowance is perfect ! Not greedy and what you need . You say you want your physical needs met too . So find that guy who will pay -even weekly ,and forget the serving gig . Would you rather work 8 hrs on your feet slinging hash or getting laid with a guy you like ? Hmmmm -that shouldn’t be so hard .

  279. Josh says:

    @Jessica

    Stop posting flyR’s profile number again and again. 😉

  280. NC Gent says:

    maybe they are trying to sell Diamond memberships to SDs?
    I do like that they made it so non-premium members can easily search and see who viewed them — it never made any sense to me that this required a premium membership. Change has some positives and negatives always I guess.

  281. flyR says:

    @Nicegirl – You questioned why a man would put a woman in that spot (declined credit card)
    alternatives
    * the guy is a looser
    or
    * with the massive fraud and data theft the credit card companies are pulling cards where there is a whiff of irregularity in the purchase. Dumb stuff – my regular gym membership payment declined although there’s enough credit on the card to pay for more than 10 years

  282. DorkyGuy says:

    @NC Gent ~ yep, and it means that premium members like yourself will receive less attention, while SBs pine after men who aren’t even paying.

    I am sure SA has a strategy, but it seems like something they might want to revisit.

  283. NC Gent says:

    and p.s. I see helping my SB succeed and improve her life position as part of being an SD. It isn’t just flyr and RSD – many of my SD friends feel the same way too. If I wanted an escort experience, I know where to find that.

  284. Kms2014 says:

    “There you go –we want what we want. Send him my way -free cleaning sounds good”

    Are you a good dominant, soulman?

  285. NC Gent says:

    wow I didn’t know that DG — I guess the site wants to make it look like there are more SDs, even if they are non-premium ughhhh

  286. Alexis says:

    @Jessica
    There are hundreds of guys like that. He didn’t harm you financially or physically, so why cross acceptable boundaries and post his profile here? That really wasn’t acceptable. You can’t take every phoney here personally.

    And omg I see yet another post of his PERSONAL INFORMATION. Geeze woman, get a life!

  287. Alexis says:

    @Evie
    The problem is that you have WAY too LOW of an allowance expectation. This will attract John’s, not SDs. You’ll have to raise it sweety.

    Also, use caution about taking advice from SBs who can’t find SDs. It’s self-sabatoging.

    And lastly, *hugs*. It’s gonna be ok. You’re doing the best you can. It’s a learning process. It doesn’t happen overnight.

  288. DorkyGuy says:

    @NC Gent~ SBs do not have a Premium Member checkbox at the top of their search. The option to filter has been removed.

  289. NC Gent says:

    Hello all – interesting conversation. SBs — I agree the old color coded format was maybe easier to determine the premium SDs, but the new format is really pretty easy. Check the box for Premium Member at the top of your search results, and only SDs that can respond to your emails will be shown. If you want to see all members, just uncheck the box. Non-paying SDs can search and see who viewed them but they cannot send or receive messages.

  290. DorkyGuy says:

    @FB~ au contraire… that email sounds like a professional to me

  291. gentleman soul says:

    @KMS
    ” do not listen to soulman as there ARE more than just a few SDs who want to better your life,”

    True. My comment is not intended to mean that I don’t care about my SB’s successes ,but from a more selfish POV I want what I want-most guys do . All of my SBs ‘lives are better with me being in them . Arrogant ? Not really –just the facts Maam .

    @soulman…how about the 24 year old sub that wants to clean my home and pay me $300 a month?

    There you go –we want what we want. Send him my way -free cleaning sounds good

  292. DorkyGuy says:

    @kms~ wait, you have a maid service? I doubt Evie’s SDs could afford a maid. What an interesting variety of demographics the site attracts.

  293. Kms2014 says:

    “8)Most SDs are not flyR or RSD. SDs want a beautiful young(usually) SB who will make them happy in an NSA way .They are not interested in building your career or putting you through Harvard.”

    @Evie, while that may or may not be true, depending on how your profile is written and you are presenting yourself in your pictures…do not listen to soulman as there ARE more than just a few SDs who want to better your life, and take pleasure in helping a driven, career minded woman, or college girl, along with her goals in life. When you end things, they like to know they left you in a better position than they found you..at least, I have had that sentiment expressed to me more than a couple times, anyways.

    @soulman…how about the 24 year old sub that wants to clean my home and pay me $300 a month? He said no sex but I must boss him around, and he wants to do dishes, too, lol! That would save on my cleaning service fee, but what is the guarantee that he will be better than the maid service I use? I told him, no thanks, as I am waiting for a young submissive who can paint as well(said he couldn’t paint or do repairs well, so that is a no go).

  294. DorkyGuy says:

    @Josh~ And yes, I see the logical fallacy. Substitute “ore” for “coal”. The fallacy is resolved, and the analogy stands.

  295. DorkyGuy says:

    @Josh~ I wasn’t completely disagreeing with you.

    I agree. There are a niche group of people that get up at 5:00am every single Saturday, so they can hit all of the garage sales before everyone else, looking for “gnomes”… purely because they enjoy the thrill of finding an exceptional value. I am sure there are some SDs like that.

    I am saying that that is a very small niche, and most people don’t consider sifting through dross to be a good use of their time. They will look for people who price their products at the value that they are looking for.

  296. gentleman soul says:

    @Evie et al

    I’m late to this party having just gotten to work in my part of the country . A couple of points:

    1) send your SA # so we can evaluate (constructively) your presentation. you might be sending the wrong message.

    2)Real SDs know that allowance is part of the deal ,just as a sexual relationship is

    3)Real SDs will readily pay your expenses to meet ,but many do not want a desperately poor SB,since the pressure to support her every move is not sexy .

    4)Make your needs clear up front before you meet . In all these conversations you had with the Pots,at some point an SD would ask “what are you hoping to get out of relationship?”-or you should ask .

    5)Sugar is a business arrangement –which will hopefully develop into a friendship and maybe love –of a different sort .

    6)Discuss ,do not demand your needs ie;

    @Redbone
    So I would recommend two date min where you see how things go far as chemistry. No sex by the way on the first two date min.

    not to pick on you RB ,guys do not respond well to this kind of dogmatic drawing of the line . And forget depositing 1/2 month’s allowance . Be kind and flexible but make sure you are on the same page as the Pot .

    7)PTP is very common–in fact a monthly allowance is insane at first . No business man would take a chance on prepaying before an SB has stood the test of time

    8)Most SDs are not flyR or RSD. SDs want a beautiful young(usually) SB who will make them happy in an NSA way .They are not interested in building your career or putting you through Harvard .

  297. Josh says:

    The above post was was DorkyGuy.

  298. Josh says:

    I am sure you don’t see the logical fallacy of that “example” but no worries logic is like math, most people are not “good at it.” 😉

  299. Kms2014 says:

    “DorkyGuy says:
    September 26, 2014 at 6:00 am
    “If one does not know how to appreciate diamond in the rough…then well…one does not know how to look for diamond in the rough.”

    That is true, but if you put a coal store in a mall, and sold lumps of coal for 50 cents each, I bet Zales would still get more business.”

    Haven’t there been social experiments done on this proving the validity of this argument?

  300. Jessica says:

    He didn’t send his email until towards the end of our conversations. I laughed when I saw unprofessional it was.

  301. “Josh says:
    September 26, 2014 at 5:42 am
    @yourprofessormadeitupaswell

    Did you really believe your professor on that one?”

    Uh huh, I do. Not only is he a brilliant, standup kinda guy, I had a similar experience on the consumer side of the coin.

    I was looking through ads for a car, and came across one that read, “[appealing enough, perhaps too appealing sport car year, make, model] $600 obo.” After calling the guy, and asking some questions, I went out to take a look. It had been his son’s college car. It had a cracked fender and ran a little loud, but seemed fine otherwise. The ad had been up for about a week, and only a few people had inquired. The best offer he had gotten was $350. I paid $400, bought a $100 fender from a scrap yard the next county over, had a muffler shop throw on a muffler clamp for $5, then drove the car 70,000 miles. I would’ve paid $600 or even $1000 (didn’t have much more than that at the time) but for whatever reason, not many saw what value there could possibly be in a car listed at $600.

  302. DorkyGuy says:

    “If one does not know how to appreciate diamond in the rough…then well…one does not know how to look for diamond in the rough.”

    That is true, but if you put a coal store in a mall, and sold lumps of coal for 50 cents each, I bet Zales would still get more business.

  303. Josh says:

    “I think that while sometimes we find high proposals overrated, we sometimes regard low proposals as questionable or of diminished value.”

    If one does not know how to appreciate diamond in the rough…then well…one does not know how to look for diamond in the rough.

  304. Elaine says:

    Reading the blog lately makes me feel both sad, and grateful.

    Grateful to most of the pots I have met, and grateful to my ex and actual SDs, who are real gentlemen! I will never take that for granted anymore!
    They appear to be unicorns…..

    Sad because it clearly shows what direction SA is hiding with it’s strategy to go for the big numbers. Going in one month from 3 mill.to 3,6 mill. ( Really!? Based upon my experiences a tenth of that amount seems to be more realistic!)
    Looks like SBs and SDs are very busy in bed, multiplying like mice 😉

    Posts like Mary “I want an SB” (yes dear, we all want!), shows those girls don’t have a clue, like if the succesful multimillionares line up to shower them with Loubs and money, loads of money!
    Come on, don’t believe the SA marketing! Succesful sugaring is hard work!

    Evie’s posts show the other result of this “big numbers” strategy; Decent SB, meeting only jerks.
    The flood of new “flesh” attracts the predators, splenda’s and Johns.

    So a vicious, negative circle begins, both genuine SDs and SBs meet too many flakes, get too often taken advantage of and lied to, lose confidence and get disappointed and abandon their profiles (in my area already 40% is more or less abandoned!)

    To be replaced for numbers sake by the already mentioned low quality.
    Pro’s, rinsers, or clueless and too young at female site.
    Tirekickers, cheap losers and jerks at male site.
    Timewasters and only curious at both sides…..

  305. Josh says:

    @yourprofessormadeitupaswell

    Did you really believe your professor on that one?

  306. DorkyGuy says:

    Interesting… When a SD searches, he has an option to filter only Premium profiles. When a SB searches, she doesn’t have that option.

    It seems SA really wants SBs to send messages to the free SD profiles. It makes marketing sense… if a SB messages an unpaid SD, he gets an email alerting him there is a message, and asking him to upgrade.

  307. DorkyGuy says:

    I had to log out of that SB account pretty quick. Crotch shots and user names like “SlipperIn”? Wow. The things I will do for the blog SBs :/

  308. DorkyGuy says:

    @YGBKM~ Terrific advice, re the professor.

    I was disturbed by your report that, in the new layout, there is no indicator which SDs are paid, and which are not.

    I set up a SB profile to check this out… When you search, there is a colored stripe down the left side of the profile. I think orange=paid, and black=diamond. No stripe=free.

    I think for SD’s, the MO is to upgrade when you are searching for a SB, and then to let it lapse while you are not in the market. If they aren’t upgraded, they aren’t really looking. Don’t waste any time on un-upgraded profiles. It is very unlikely that a SD will upgrade his account just to talk to one SB whose message he can’t even read.

    @Evie~ both Flyr and YGBKM are giving some terrific advice! Even Josh is right. Consensus is a pretty rare thing on this board, and if it happens, it is worth paying attention to.

  309. Kms2014 says:

    Sam said, “If an SB wants her bills paid or gas money then she needs to get a job. If she wants nice dinners and gifts then she should seek an SD.”

    He has the wrong attitude about this site, in my opinion. Nice dinners and gifts are a part of regular dating, or a perk for the women on SA…Of course, there are some SB’s who are just looking for a successful man who can spoil them in other ways besides an allowance or financial gifting, but as a whole, would say that is more the exception than the norm, on this site. What if your SB is looking for tuition help or financial assistance starting up a business for funding? Does that make her irresponsible, or a loser? Sure, nice dinners and gifts are appreciated, but are just the perks of being with a successful benefactor, but are not the reason women flock to this site am afraid 😉

    “It is a huge turn off when we are aware of your financial troubles.”

    And to be honest, it is a huge turn off for us to have to tell you about our financial troubles, or even worse, actually have to ask you for help, if we are under the assumption that you are an SD, but then never offer any type of financial allowance. That talk for either side is not sexy or fun. Is why the allowance amount is decided or gifted, from the gentleman’s side, in the beginning of the relationship, and then hopefully never spoken of again, so that money is never part of the ongoing conversation
    between the two parties…and all that is left to ‘talk’ about is sexy talk (:

  310. Carminna says:

    Ladies, don’t think it as matter of location or just white or blue collar… The question is that for manny years most men had girls fulling around spending their monney and not giving up the sugar properly…. As in, some man are complaining that the girls were just showing up to be apreciated for her beauty and sparkling eyes….

    I know that all man wants sugar, loved, and trated as special…. if the girl does not do that, he feels betrayed….

    Due to all of those betrayals now, me and so manny new girls just starting here on the SA we are guetting bombarded by thses man who are not trusting us and thinking we are just gold diggers…

    Well, lest put this on a scale….get the balance of things… Who is the millionaire in here? Me the girl or the Sugar Daddy???? So, in my point of view I think it is the SD who must pay for dinner and drinks and at least be apreciated of the girl’s time and give her some gift the first time he sees her…… Remenber the old days? We were instructed to not receive candy from a stranger….. There we go, now we are in the position of receiving the candy from the stranger…

    I say to the SDs, Get yourself in a position to give the candy to the girl and you would be susprised how nice a girl can be to you when you show her the Sugar…..

  311. Nicegirl says:

    @Sam

    “For the girl who said that she does not know of any SD that would test an SB and make her pay for her own meal- it happens. I know a few fellow SDs that do this as a standard screening tool. If a sugar baby cannot pay for her own meal, then it is suspicious and her motives will be questioned. ”

    I am the girl that said that. If you read Evie’s comment his card was declined which would mean that she paid the entire bill… drinks and dinner which amounted to more than $10 I am sure. I think for you to put a POT SB in that position knowing that she is there for financial reasons to begin with, that makes you a complete jerk. What if she didn’t have the money to pay for the meal? Would you just stare at each other then dine and dash? I just don’t understand the logic here. From your further comments it sounds as if you are on the wrong site and are definitely the type of man that took Evie out on a wild goose chase of a date. I would be interested to see the type of women that have fallen for your “I am an SD but don’t expect anything from me” approach.

  312. flyR says:

    If you are searching profiles set the default presentation from most recent profile to most recent sign in. That will display members who are online more often Since the default sort is by profle date it is best to update your profile on a slow day

  313. I looked at the profiles of members I recently messaged, and 5 of 6 unread messages are from nonpaying members. You have to switch to the old SA format to see the color coded profiles. What good is a nonpaying profile when you cant read or send messages? Do any of you here have a nonpaying profile? If so, do you just wait until you receive a message from a profile that piques your interest to upgrade?

    Re: Dinner test…

    Is someone’s reluctance to spend what could potentially be text book money on dinner (when they were anticipating being treated) any real indicator of ill intention?

    If I dont have enough money to cover my dinner, and enough money to take a taxi home, Im not going. In traditional dating, I like to be prepared to go dutch, just in case. Id plan for no less in this context as well, at least for the initial date. If it’s a place Ive never been, I look at the menu online, and have a couplefew things in mind when I get there. I never order anything I wouldnt pay for myself, and I order within a range comparable to what he is ordering.

    Sure, Id cover an ‘oops’ moment in good faith and gesture. But a potential benefactor should make every effort to make good on it in a prompt manner.

  314. flyR says:

    Evie sell the sizzle not the steak

  315. Evie J says:

    I am not wallowing in self pity I am just sharing my experiences and trying to get another point of view.
    Maybe because I tend to be very pragmatic that comes off as looking for pity?
    This is just the way I communicate. I try to lay it all out there so that others can have a full understanding of where I am coming from so as better to answer my inquiries.
    I keep pushing on and moving forward because I understand that it takes time. I just don’t want to repeat mistakes over and over again. I had originally thought that by being realistic and not demanding, that would raise my chances of meeting somebody and not coming off a certain way. That obviously attracted the wrong type of SD. The guys I talk to tend to really lie me and my personality, the only thing they can’t meet are my very low financial expectations lol

  316. DorkyGuy says:

    @Sam~ Isn’t there a better way to determine if she has a job than throwing an unexpected expense at her?

    This may be an outrageous suggestion, but couldn’t you just ask?

  317. Evie J says:

    Josh

    I thought I was doing the right thing by being realistic lol if I didn’t have self esteem, I wouldn’t even be on this site!

  318. flyR says:

    sorry to drag this on

    @ evie “I don’t have the energy to compete against an experienced SB who has the money to afford plastic surgery to be that perfect high allowance demanding SB.”

    LISTEN UP you are talking yourself into being a looser. Many of us do not want the perfect plasticized SB, rather we want an attractive, freshly scrubbed, nice , sweet woman whom we missed earlier in our lives.

    I think one of the sexiest things about a great sb is that she is looking ahead and upward, not wallowing in self pitty. She’s not obsessed with material things but needs some help to survive and blossom.

  319. Evie J says:

    I really think the issue lies in my location. A lot of these guys are alike. But, I cannot travel far and wide to meet an SD. I have spoken to some that were a good 2-3 hours away and they offered more of a traditional allowance type arrangement. But, I could not afford to meet them and they were not willing to cover travel expenses for a first meeting. They were only willing to cover them if we were already involved.
    So for now I am having to choose from the locals. I hope my meeting with this one guy goes well tomorrow. We have a plan to meet at the boardwalk and talk to get to know each other. If his story changes suddenly, Im out of there lol

  320. Josh says:

    @Evie J,

    You can waste a lot of time going in circles talking to other clueless SBs here. Or you can listen to certain blog SDs and be successful in the sugar life.

    First things first. Take a self esteem pill (or course or whatever) and switch to white collar SDs.

    If you have additional specific questions then ask or report back in a copule of weeks.

    Josh Guru!

  321. flyR says:

    @Evie – My guess is that you need to rethink your approach to sugar and also rewrite your profile.

    You mention that you tend to be with those whom you are not aspiring to be with . At the risk of bringing down down the wrath of your caring sugar sisters, you would be a lot better off with a non sugaring gentleman who represents where you want to be rather than the losers who represent where you want to leave, regardless of the sugar .

    I’m prejudiced in that I believe a tragically high percentage of the folks in the entertainment business are vacuous souls who would suck the goodness out of you for sport. And those are the healthy ones.

    Write a profile designed to attract the man whom you would like to meet socially.

    It’s not uncommon to have an SB admit that getting a sitter or a cab to come to a meeting is a burden. The responsible SD offers to cover these costs even for a first meet and puts you at ease by taking care of that early in the meeting. The user holds that over you as a sick power exercise.

  322. Josh says:

    @Sam,

    “It is a huge turn off when we are aware of your financial troubles.”

    I guess that’s why they came up with the saying different strokes for different folks.

    My arrangement is typically around their financial needs, and not around an arbitrary number and that means bills.

    The negative side of the “test” is that it could turn off an otherwise essentially decent SB.

  323. Evie J says:

    @Josh

    I don’t know I feel that I might not have enough in common with those types of men. As I said earlier, they usually have higher standards. Not that I have bad self esteem or think I am not beautiful, but those very high calibur men have SO many options and I don’t have the energy to compete against an experienced SB who has the money to afford plastic surgery to be that perfect high allowance demanding SB. I just want to be more realistic than that. I thought it would be easier lol I guess it’s not working though!

  324. Jacob says:

    @Josh
    SA just had a couple fairly positive exposes by The Atlantic and the CNN website. Just like I predicted a few months ago, sugar dating was where online dating had been a decade and half earlier. It is going mainstream! LOL.

  325. Sam says:

    Josh-

    How do you screen or test SBs? I tend to ask them certain questions. If they lay a bunch of financial issues on me then I do not speak to them after that first date. If it would put her in dire straits to put forth $10, then it is very obvious you have a wave of drama coming your way. I am not saying that I have personally done this, but I know those who do and I don’t blame them for it. He who has the gold makes the rules!
    If an SB wants her bills paid or gas money then she needs to get a job. If she wants nice dinners and gifts then she should seek an SD.
    I don’t blame Evie for at least sticking it out and giving him another chance. She obviously liked the guy but he did lead her on. But, her mistake was looking for an SD that would help her with bills. It is a huge turn off when we are aware of your financial troubles.

  326. Josh says:

    @Evie J

    If blue collar SDs are not working out then why aren’t you trying white collar men?

  327. flyR says:

    @Evie –

    Rule-1 If a guy is even concerned about the available credit on his card SAY GOODBYE NOW and think of it as a cheap lesson.

    This may sound a little harsh but you need to make a fundamental distinction

    a) this guy is looking for a partner in an adventure where HE is the one who brings all the financial resources

    b) this guy is looking for a sperm dumpster and believes that SA is a cheap solution

  328. Evie J says:

    DorkyGuy:

    Thanks for your input. I understand what you are saying. There are however all different types of SDs. Not all are white collar or multi-multi millionaires. Some are comfortable with extra money to spend but not necessarily vastly wealthy. I tend to be speaking to the blue collar men with decently successful contracting type business who should be able to afford a dinner. These are not men that would regularly use valets, or housekeeping, etc. Maybe that gives you some more perspective on where I am coming from.
    I have been around successful men my entire life. My grandfather, my stepfather. I have worked in the entertainment industry as a makeup artist and production assistant. I have just never DATED a man with more money than I. I have always dated men who barely make anything and I have always had to pay for stuff. Now that I have relocated to NJ and lost everything in Hurricane Sandy, I am back in the position where I am rebuilding my life and back in school. I do not want to date broke men who have no passion or hobbies in life. I want to be involved with older men who are experienced and who can at least afford to pay for dinner.
    I think my problem is the local men with whom I am speaking. They are doing an amazing job of misrepresenting themselves.

  329. “There are two kinds of SD profiles… paid (which should be highlighted orange) and not paid (which should be highlighted blue). Most SD profiles are not paid. SDs who have not paid cannot read your message, and cannot respond to your message.”

    Ah…didnt know that. What do non-paying SDs have access to?

  330. “There are two kinds of SD profiles… paid (which should be highlighted orange) and not paid (which should be highlighted blue). Most SD profiles are not paid. SDs who have not paid cannot read your message, and cannot respond to your message.”

    Ah…didnt know that. What do non-paying SDs have access to?

  331. DorkyGuy says:

    Possibly seasonal, due to girls being back in school.

    Wait until they all need to do their Christmas shopping!

  332. Josh says:

    Is SA running some kind of marketing campaign? A lot of SBs have joined in the past few days.

  333. Josh says:

    @Sam

    What exactly is being tested here?

    I have never had any girl pay for her meal unless it was pre-planned dutch date, and even that was in my 20s. I have never had any woman pay for her expense since little after the college days.

    My personal experience is neither here nor there because I NEVER thought of it as some kind of “test.” So I am trying to understand the utility of the test.

    SBs are here because they are short on cash. How can putting them in further distress make them want to see an SD any further? I am just baffled. That’s all.

  334. DorkyGuy says:

    @Evie, just my two cents…

    In order to identify earlier which men are genuine and which are fakes, it helps to understand the successful man.

    The first thing is, they manage their money differently.

    Put yourself in the shoes of a successful man. A man who has achieved success in business generally has more than one credit card available to him (at least one personal card, and a business card). He has cash on him, because he frequently needs to tip the valet, housekeeping, etc. He manages his finances well, and he *knows* when he is nearing the limit on his cards. That stuff doesn’t catch him by surprise. And certainly not while on a date. Further, regardless of whether there is an arrangement in place, he expects to pay for the lady’s portion of the date, and has budgeted for that in advance.

    There is simply no way that man finds himself at a restaurant with an inability to pay. Impossible.

    The *moment* a guy tells you he is surprised by a problem with his finances, you know he is lying about his success. Successful men are not surprised by running out of money.

    People who work at banks are trained to identify counterfeit money by handling real money. I think the same applies here. Once you learn how successful men act, you’ll pick out the fakes pretty quickly. I think it might help if you could find a way to be around successful men in a casual environment so that you can observe them. Maybe get a job at a place where they hang out. That should help you in detecting frauds.

    Just my two cents…

  335. Sam says:

    For the girl who said that she does not know of any SD that would test an SB and make her pay for her own meal- it happens. I know a few fellow SDs that do this as a standard screening tool. If a sugar baby cannot pay for her own meal, then it is suspicious and her motives will be questioned. The world is not perfect and perhaps there was a problem with the credit card? If a sugar baby has a connection with her pot SD but then would end a relationship because of a bill misunderstanding, she is most likely not in it for the right reasons. Yes, the financial benefits are important and a part of an arrangement. But there will be times when a sugar baby’s true character will shine through and it makes a world of a difference.

  336. Nicegirl says:

    Evie, telling your experience and situations only calls out the obvious red flags. Reading someones body language, and personal intuition are not things that can be described. There could have been many things that were subtle but you were not noticing. I am only one person so other SB’s here might chime in later and add or say something completely different. I wish you luck on your search though. long day tomorrow. night ;o)

  337. Evie J says:

    Maybe it is due to my preconceived notions about SDs. Maybe I am not seeing some things as red flags because in my mind I think it is normal and common. That is why I laid out my experiences to see if the actions of those pot SDs were normal or not.
    I have been on SA for about 4-5 months.
    I joined once a few years ago but one of the wives of a pot SD that contacted me, found me and she got threatening. I hadn’t even met her husband or started anything with him. We only spoke for 2 days and he said he was single. After that, I left SA but I decided to come back because I really wanted to experience this lifestyle. I used to live in Miami and I was pretty successful as a makeup artist. I made decent money and I always had tons of offers from men with money but I never accepted them. I wanted to do everything myself. I always regretted not trying it out so that is why I am giving it another go.

  338. Nicegirl says:

    Evie I do know what you mean but there is something that you are not picking up on for this to happen multiple times in the same way. How long have you been on SA?

  339. Evie J says:

    @Nicegirl

    I don’t want to come off as not thick skinned enough because I definitely am. These men aren’t making me feel bad about myself, I am just trying to be realistic about all of this. I keep moving on and talking to new guys. Most of them I do not chat with past day 1. I can tell when something is very obviously not right. But, you would be surprised with how well this one guy hid his true intentions. The only way I could have found out that he had no intentions of helping me out was to actually get to know him in person. Like I said earlier, maybe it is the area in which I live. Some local SBs have had similar experiences to mine. Most of these guys Do have money and are business owners but they just turn out to be cheap.
    One guy that wanted to meet up with me asked what type of food I like. I told him I have a varied palette so I would be fine with anything. I suggested we meet at this one local diner and he scoffed at the idea. He said that there was no way he was taking me to some cheap diner. He suggested this one nice Moroccan Restaurant. I agreed. When the day came, of course I got flooded with excuses about how we can still meet up but it would have to be at Starbucks because he is having an issue with money, etc. This is a man who claimed to own a law consulting firm. I just blocked him because it was just so obvious.
    When things aren’t so obvious as that, there really isn’t any other way to know even when you DO have a good feeling about it. You know what I mean?

  340. Nicegirl says:

    Evie, “Maybe I just have a problem with becoming demanding.”

    Even if you had been demanding (which you should not be) the man was not who he claimed to be and he was leading you on. You could have demanded all day long and you still would have ended up paying the pill. You need to work on reading people better.

  341. Nicegirl says:

    Evie, You need a thicker skin so you can walk away from situations like that and not feel badly. He should feel badly for putting you in that situation and leading you on like that.

  342. Evie J says:

    @Nicegirl

    Not too trusting, I just don’t want to come off cold or not understanding.
    After it happened the first time I did express to him that I had some bills I was struggling to pay and that I might not be able to meet him for plans if I can’t find a way to pay my insurance or to put gas in my tank. I wasn’t exactly relying on him to pay it, I work as a freelance makeup artist so I was trying to find a few quick jobs, and to juggle my finances, etc to make sure I can pay my car bills and in turn be able to drive it to meet up with him for a date. He would say, “Don’t worry, I’ll probably take care of that for you.”. And then he wouldn’t. Maybe I just have a problem with becoming demanding.

  343. Nicegirl says:

    I never had what Evie is describing, being mislead and they change their story in person

  344. Nicegirl says:

    DordyGuy – I that is a great question. I never actually responded because I didn’t want to get myself into a heated discussion about it. My motto was just move on and thank goodness I didn’t spend too much time with them before they told me. I always asked up front what type of arrangement they were looking for and if their answer was dating period I ended communication.

  345. Nicegirl says:

    FlyR lol, cute. It was frustrating and made me feel bad about myself at first so I can relate to what Evie is going through. But my search has ended (for the moment anyway) but it took awhile.

  346. DorkyGuy says:

    NiceGirl, I am curious… if you reply “well then what are you bringing to the table that makes this mutually beneficial?” How do they reply?

  347. flyR says:

    @nicegirl “I can’t tell you how many SD’s have told me that they are not interested in paying any type of allowance,” That’s ok . You just need to say “I understand you are inadequately motivated t join the party. Have fun, don’t get any blisters thinking about us.

  348. Nicegirl says:

    Evie, I know. No SD I have met would want to do that… Test an SB and make her pay for the meal when he knows she is probably struggling to pay her bills. That should have been your red flag – the first time it was declined. You are just too trusting I think.

  349. flyR says:

    @ dorky –

    makesure is not equal to Sugar

  350. Redbone says:

    Let him lose it. nEXT! That is what I would say! I am a very caring person, too nice, and all of the above, but when it coms to business (as a jr.accountant looking to own my own business after I finish college) I do not have time to waste. It is that simple. You just tell him that you want to allow time to see if you all are a fit. Let home know you usually give it two trys and after that an official agreement had to be in place. You did not once say you are not going to provide him with what he needs. You simplely told him this is an arrangement and he get to see what he is about to pay for and maybe test it (date) but if you want it you have to sign the arrangement. Lol

  351. Nicegirl says:

    @FlyR “@evie – this is seeking arrangement. If a man is here he should be prepared to enter into a arrangement. If not he is simply a trespasser in sugar land.”

    I can’t tell you how many SD’s have told me that they are not interested in paying any type of allowance, P4P or gifting in any manner… It is very common and frustrating because yes it is Seeking Arrangement not Match or some other dating site.

  352. Evie J says:

    @Nicegirl

    Yes on 2 occasions he went to pay with his credit card and it was declined. He said he doesn’t carry cash so I had no choice but to pay for my portion. I didn’t want the cops called on me lol
    I kind of felt like maybe he was trying to test me as I have heard this from a few other SBs. Apparently some pot SDs pull a stunt like that once or twice to see if that would make you stop talking to them. I gave him one more chance and when it happened again, that is when I decided to not go any further. He still tries to contact me and ask me about my day. I just don’t respond anymore because I don’t see the point. There were good parts of us being together, but he did misrepresent himself in a big way. He promised to pay my tuition and when the day came, he couldn’t. The day after that we were suppose to go to AC to spend our first overnight together. That never happened either because I had to juggle to find a way to pay my tuition and it left me almost broke.

  353. Nicegirl says:

    Evie… maybe you should be honest with the guy and say just that. If you hit it off tell him about your experience (without coming off as a winer) and tell him that you have a fear of being taken advantage of. I believe that if he is true in his quest for an SB then he will respect what you are sharing because it is heart felt… and he has probably been taken advantage of by past SB’s so he will feel your pain so to speak.

  354. DorkyGuy says:

    “I want something ongoing, and a mentor. In order for me to make sure your needs are met whenever and where ever you want, I won’t have a job which means a monthly allowance from you to me. ”

    Huh… first thing a mentor would tell her is don’t be completely dependent on a SD!

  355. flyR says:

    @evie – this is seeking arrangement. If a man is here he should be prepared to enter into a arrangement. If not he is simply a trespasser in sugarland.

  356. Evie J says:

    Here is another example. I am currently talking to this one pot SD. We have been talking for over a week. We have a lot in common and he claims to be looking for the same type of arrangement as I am. We have a good rapport with each other and it is just easy to conversate with him. He owns his own business and wants to make sure I am taken care of if/when we decide to proceed.
    Our first meeting is tomorrow. He wants to meet on the boardwalk so we can walk and talk and get to know each other. Should I be looking at any of this as a red flag? It is only the first meeting so I don’t feel that I should be expecting money or an expensive date. I would like if he helped me out with the money I have to spend on the gas to get there. How do I ask for that?
    I guess I wouldn’t really know if he is going to help as promised until he did give me some sort of money or whatever. I just don’t want to come off as money hungry because the first time I wanted to define an arrangement with someone, he lost his damn mind over it lol

  357. Redbone says:

    Well you have your needs ! Let’s not forget about that. And some will try to get over on you. I do not see anything wrong with letting them know you got needs. You can say it with a grind, smile, spongbob face or mr.rogers neighborhood face, as long as they know. I am sure you are not trying to give up a lot of time with nothing in return because time is money. And for them to not give you any money when obliviously they know money is involved (look at the website name lol) it shows that either they are not interested or they are taking advantage you or a lady or they just dumb and really don’t get the meaning of this site.

  358. flyR says:

    @Evie – I feel better about an allowance or p4p if I feel it is going for something worthwhile – school, pay off debt or take care of child. Most anything other than drugs or lazy .

    If you say ( or infer) X$ to have your dick sucked then you are going to be treated as one of the professionals . As Presidential adviser Dick Morris is quoted when asked if he really paid a girl $300 to have sex with him , ” no I paid her $300 to leave when I was done. ”

    On the other side of the room, many SD’s really want to be part of your success in life. Show them that you really are a struggling student and you are apt to find a larger allowance and more importantly one that continues.

    I do not know where you are located but in 90% of sugarland $2,000 is a generous but not not unusual allowance for sugar where there is a real connection. Often the higher allowances come with greater expectations or a lower probability of continuing sugar.

  359. Nicegirl says:

    Evie, “We had a good time together. Just because someone is wearing jeans doesn’t mean they don’t have money or isn’t genuine. If he was to wear a suit to a bar, that would be strange lol”

    You missed my point… I was saying that if a man has money is doesn’t matter if he is wearing jeans or a suit – it is how he carries himself not his attire. Didn’t the man you went on several dates with make you pay for your own food and drink?

  360. DorkyGuy says:

    @mary~ If you are sending out a ton of messages to SDs and receiving no replies, there may be a simple answer. It may not have anything to do with your profile.

    SD profiles are not like SB profiles. You as an SB can communicate with anyone. SDs have to pay to communicate.

    There are two kinds of SD profiles… paid (which should be highlighted orange) and not paid (which should be highlighted blue). Most SD profiles are not paid. SDs who have not paid cannot read your message, and cannot respond to your message.

  361. Evie J says:

    @Redbone

    I haven’t had sex with any of them lol

    @Nicegirl

    The guys I have met with were very intelligent. The one I actually spent several dates with was interested in foreign language and well traveled just like I am. We spoke French, German, and Spanish with each other. We had a good time together. Just because someone is wearing jeans doesn’t mean they don’t have money or isn’t genuine. If he was to wear a suit to a bar, that would be strange lol

    The part that bothers me I guess is letting it go for a few dates and then saying/demanding “Before I see you again, I need money/need to know you’re serious/etc.” I thought that was a huge NO NO and could ruin a potentially great arrangement.
    I also thought that having them put money into an account was also a no no?

  362. Redbone says:

    Don’t anticipate longevity. It’s just not realistic. He could drop u tomorrow and find something better the next day Evie. So get it where you can.

  363. Evie J says:

    @FlyR

    My SDs tend to be between 40-55 and claim to be business owners and in charge of their own schedule. Most of them say that have had arrangements before and have fully supported their SB. Only one was new to the scene like me.
    I never bring up the subject of money or allowance amounts. I just try to get to know the guy and then he usually does the asking. I still try to stay vague as I feel that saying, “I want $2,000 a month and this and that.” would be a turn off as a lot of people have warned. I figured if I wanted very practical benefits that would be more of a genuine MBR. Especially because I do want to have fun with my SD and I do want to see our time together as a sort of escape from our daily lives.

  364. Nicegirl says:

    Evie, Screening takes time but intuition is a big part of it. Honestly the first time an SD made an excuse for not paying for something on a date I would be done. I can usually tell by texting and the types of responses if the man is educated to the level he claims. If he is too available that is a red flag because truly successful men are usually not easy to reach especially during the day. Some of this is just not possible to explain. When you meet a successful person you can usually tell wether he is dressed in jeans or a suit. How he carries himself at the restaurant, subtle hints you need to be receptive to these things. I have met more non SD’s than actual SD’s and I am probably not alone. If you are patient you will meet someone. How long have you been looking?

  365. Redbone says:

    This is in your mind ( that after two dates you need to see that he is feeling you) . You tell them upfront that you want x amount in allowance if you all seem to get alone. And then let them know you give two date to see how things go and after the 3rd date or 4 date you need x amount in your account. Which is a months allowance. By all means do not give up sex during the first few dates. That can come at a later point in time when all arrangements are being met.

  366. Alfie says:

    You can anonymously send money to someone to go into a PayPal account by purchasing a GreenDot MoneyPak (which you can buy with cash anonymously) and send the code number to the recipient, who can use the code number to put the money into the PayPal account. All the sender needs from the recipient is an e-mail address (not necessarily the e-mail address connected to the PayPal account but just an address to send the money to, or the code number could be given over the phone), and all the recipient needs is the MoneyPak code number. I’ve only done this once, but it worked fine, maintaining anonymity on both sides.

  367. Redbone says:

    Evie, I am new to this site also. It is not as fast and simple as it seems. You should anticipate some time before they start dropping off money. He could give you 500 for a dinner and the dinner goes bad. Like nothing to talk about , you taking about animals and he is talking about real estate ( that was just an example). So you need to set it straight in the beginning what you expect and then after maybe three dates if you all kind of click then you let them know that before the 4th date you need $500 deposited in your account. That,s when it becomes business because at this point he knows he is digging you and has some interest in you so he may be ok with giving money. At the same time after the first or second date he knows if he does not want to hang out with you.

    So I would recommend two date min where you see how things go far as chemistry. No sex by the way on the first two date min.

  368. flyR says:

    @mary – you might post your profile # here

  369. Evie J says:

    @Nicegirl

    No I am not looking for a boyfriend at all or for a ‘perfect match’. I don’t want that type of commitment or to find a husband. Nor am I looking for ‘all’ my bills to be paid. Just a little help TOWARDS my bills.
    I have found those few guys who I had enough in common with and thought I could respect but they just turned out differently.

    I really would like to know how to ‘properly’ screen them as you put it. I feel as though I am already doing and asking as much as I can. I tend to video chat to get a better idea of how they are. Do I Google them, etc?
    Do I ask to be taken to a costly restaurant on the first meeting? Is it just me or does that seem to rude to expect on a first meeting?

  370. flyR says:

    @Evie

    Consider that you may be reaching the wrong market. Are your SD’s too young , too into scamming the system?

    Try to think of what type of man would value your company sufficiently to be willing to provide sugar and still be attractive to you.

    My guess is that two years more sugar relationships started as allowances and continued. However, the success of SA in making sugaring an acceptable dating option for many women the competition has increased and starting PPM is more common.

    I used to be a staunch proponent of monthly allowances. The usual launch date was prepayment of half of the monthly allowance as a risk sharing gesture. Subsequently I have migrated more to the allowance per meeting for a couple of reasons
    1) it rewards good behavior 2) it is self correcting and 3) it has a sense of fairness. The downside is that it is transactional. I try to minimize this by discretely depositing the amount into my SB purse, often with a fun note. She was actually the one to suggest the per meet as she is juggling a job and school.

    I think the key issue is not P4P vs Allowance but how the relationship is handled.

  371. Evie J says:

    How do you suggest I screen them? I already take time to speak with them at length. I think the problem is they just flat out lie. They discuss one thing and then when it really comes down to it, they change everything. And that is why I do not take it any further as in setting up a meeting, etc.
    And for the 3 guys I have met in person, it’s not like I can demand to see financial documents, etc. I have to just take their word for it and take it slow and see how it goes. Maybe they are trying to play the game of ‘Let me see if I can get her to have sex with me or if I can benefit in some way without having to give back to her.’.

  372. Josh says:

    @mary,

    The only way anyone can help you is by seeing your profile.

  373. Nicegirl says:

    @Evie,

    “If that’s what you are seeking then you may not be screening the POTs properly”

    Josh is right…. $500 is very low and you should have no problem finding that. I really am surprised. You need to be more selective in screening profiles and I will also say that you might need to meet an SD that isn’t your “ideal” but someone that you like and respect enough that you do enjoy spending time with them. If you are looking for a perfect boyfriend that pays your bills you will have a hard time here.

  374. Evie J says:

    @Nicegirl

    LOL no my expectations aren’t anywhere NEAR $2-3k. More like $500-800/month. I figured THAT was at the high end of practical.

    I must add that I am attractive and educated.I do not make myself look one way on SA and then look different in real life. I’m not desperate and I don’t act as such. Despite all that, these pot SDs that I talk to ALL say the same things. They also all claim to have had several arrangements and said they were ALL done pay per meeting style and it is extremely rare to find an SD that gives allowances to anyone. These are also the same men that list $2-3k on their profile and say they want to take care of and spoil an SB. Then when an SB comes along that isn’t even looking for all that, they lowball her even more. Is that common?

  375. mary says:

    hi i want to be a sugar baby and i have sent messages to alot of men but iam not gettin any replys .can you help am i doin somthing wrong please help thank you mary xxxxxx

  376. Josh says:

    @Evie,

    If that’s what you are seeking then you may not be screening the POTs properly.

    And no, you don’t want to work for an escort agency. Too risky, and you don’t get to choose who you will go out with.

  377. Josh says:

    @Jessica,

    That is flyR’s profile. He is not 45. He is 80-something. 😉

  378. Nicegirl says:

    @Jessica, too good to be true, usually is. Good thing you were smart enough to not share too much with him.

  379. Jessica says:

    I’d like to give a warning to anyone sugar babies reading this that there is a fraud on SA.
    His profile number is e9583372, goes by Captain and resides in Beverly Hills.
    His emails are LONG and descriptive, way too descriptive for a busy business man. It all sounds like an amazing fairy tale, but I knew simply from his profile that he was probably fake. In my experience, any real $$ SD does not have the time nor need to have a long profile like his was.

    He kept talking about how his previous SBs had an allowance of 30k per month and everything you could imagine. Big sweet talker.

    He said he was in the entertainment industry and wanted to be “discrete because of the media”. He goes to “The Oscars, The Golden Globe, The SAG Awards, The MTV Awards, The BET Awards, The Grammy’s” and wants you to be his date.
    A ton of other bullshit.
    His email includes the words “time warner bro”. He emailed me and kept asking for body photos, when I provided enough on my profile account. Clearly is a collector of photos and time waster.

    After I told him I don’t send nude photos, he stopped responding to me. He never provided a photo himself.

    The biggest red flag to me was that he had his email connected to a Google+ account. For someone famous, he only had 7 people in his circle and they were all middle-aged, worn out, tattooed older women. Sorry, but no millionaire would touch them. I knew right there that this was a bored old man looking for attention.

  380. Nicegirl says:

    @Evie, What is it you are looking for in an allowance? I think 2 – 3K is pretty average. If you are looking for more you might have some waiting to do and be patient for the right SD.

  381. Nicegirl says:

    My paypal account does not show my actual name. It shows the name I set it up in which is my company name. That is linked to my bank account. If someone transfers money to my PPal account it only shows my company name not my personal name…which is NiceGirl of course ;o)

  382. Josh says:

    @Evie J

    Thanks for laying it out in the open. The only SBs who are getting high allowances are model types (as you indicated above), living in financial centers AND/OR those who are willing and able to wait it out for the “right” SD.

  383. Evie J says:

    Hello Everyone! I am commenting on this post because all other posts seem to be closed to new comments. I am new to the Sugar scene. I have a lot of guys that message me but they seem to have NOT read my profile at all. Most of them ask if I’m available to meet the next day and lay down their standard pay per meeting amount which usually falls between $100-150 (Who the hell is offering $500 per meeting??? lol). I don’t accept these meetings because I am not looking for pay 4 play with various different men. I lay it all out on my profile: I am looking for one SD that I can share a mutual connection and attraction with for a MBR. I am not looking to be spoiled but I would prefer a practical allowance that would allow me to take care of my most important bills and in turn free up my time to be able to spend time with my SD whenever he wants/can. Every single pot SD I have spoken to have ALL stated that Seeking Arrangement actually recommends and warns AGAINST giving allowances and urges SDs to set up pay per meeting arrangements until a few months go by to avoid fakes/scams. They also tell me that it is very rare that an SD will give an allowance to pay bills/tuition. They usually only pay for dinner/gas/and a certain amount per meeting. I have heard this from the mouths of about 40-50 guys I have chatted with through this site.
    Out of all of those men, I have moved the conversation over to email or texting with about 10 of them. Then out of those 10, 7 have cancelled out first meeting at the last minute and I never hear from them again. That leaves the 3 guys I have actually met with in person.
    The first one I spoke with for 2 weeks before deciding to meet. We got along very well and when we met up, he took me to a diner for breakfast. Then we went for a walk at a park for about 2 hours. We talked and had a good time. He said he would love to continue seeing me. I then asked him what type of arrangement did he envision with us? How often did he want to see me, etc? I felt it was important to define the arrangement. He then said, “Well, I don’t give allowances, I don’t pay bills or tuition, and I don’t have time to go through the hassle of getting hotel rooms. It’s up to you to find a place for us to meet, and even then I will probably only have enough free time to see you twice a month. I will pay for your food and your gas but I want to get to know you intimately before I feel comfortable giving you anything else.” I didn’t know what to say so I just didn’t say anything. This is NOT what we discussed during our conversations. We agreed to an MBR where he would pay my bills and we would see each other weekly and do fun things together like go on hikes, etc. The next day I told him that I don’t think we want the same thing. He flipped out and said that SA warned him against this and that is why NO SUGAR BABY should be expecting ANY type of financial benefits until at least 3-4 months in, etc. I just blocked him.
    The second guy: He contacted me. We started chatting and got along. We then proceeded to video chat for about 4 days. Then he asked to meet. I agreed. He planned a night out at a restaurant and told me to get dressed up nice. He was so nice and fun loving until I met him in person. The night of the meeting, I was 10 minutes late due to traffic. I kept him updated by texting him a few times. He said it was okay and just to make it there safely. When I arrived, I saw him and went to give him a hug, he leaned away and sternly grabbed my arm and told me to sit down in the restaurant lobby. He then proceeded to lecture and berate me for being late. He demanded to see my phone and to go through my text messages. He kept acting as if I was being dishonest about the reason WHY I was late. He then threw a $20 bill at me and said to go home and never contact him again. I ran out of there.
    The third gut: We talked and texted for a few weeks. He was nice and we had a lot of things in common hobby and intelligence-wise. He has had an SB before and he told me that he took care of her bills and they spent time together and enjoyed each other. He said he does not want his SB to see anybody else at the same time they are seeing him. I was fine with that. We met up at a Carabbas late at night for some drinks. We spent a few hours talking and laughing and it went well. He asked ME about what type of help I am looking for and I told him. He said he wouldn’t mind taking care of that for me and he would love to keep seeing me. We kissed before I left. In the following weeks, he has not helped me at all with anything. We have hung out at an off track betting bar and have eaten at a few diners. Every time he says he is going to take care of something for me, there is always a problem. Either his credit card doesn’t work or the ATM won’t let him withdraw cash or his account is frozen or he’s not getting money for another few days. He represented himself as a real estate investor worth $2 million. Why say that when it obviously isn’t true. It just became too much drama to deal with. I was spending gas money to meet him and having to pay for my own food and drinks at the end of the night. And on top of it all, he didn’t even want to be intimate. He wanted to wait for all that. I want to be in an arrangement where my sexual needs are met as well. I had to end it because it just wasn’t right.

    So, after everything I have said, does anybody have any advice for me? I follow all the etiquette rules and I only try to meet with guys who I have a genuine interest in. I have my own life. I am a student and a jewelry maker. I don’t act desperate and I don’t ask or demand anything. I am a beautiful woman and I do not misrepresent myself in my profile. It just seems to me that the Sugar lifestyle is a myth unless you’re a model dating a Hollywood millionaire. Are these experiences normal? Do most SBs just end up in pay per meeting arrangements?

    I’d love any and all input!

  384. RSD says:

    @KMS, “Hmm, wonder if paypal allows you to open a spoof type account that you can just use for receiving money from demons?”

    Yes, but the money will be stuck in the account and be worthless until you provide a valid identity; only then can you transfer the money or spend it, etc.

  385. DorkyGuy says:

    “I do have a personal question, if your demonic vagina can see the future, am I in it? (groan)”

    Well, DorkyGuy…

    I sent in a handwritten inquiry, and in return the love note catapulted out of my vagina and came to a moist but crumbled stop on the plate next to my peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I suppose that it could be trying to tell me that it’s hungry, in which case…yes, my foresight can see you feeding my vagina demon. Whatcha servin’? No dentata ;-p.

    “gentleman soul says:

    I can do an exorcism for you and I will waive my usual fee for a blog Princess {-;”

    What is a blog princess, gentleman sir? How generous of you to waive your fee. How do you plan to exorcise my hoohah demon? Will you bring a plunger? Country biscuits and gravy?

  386. DorkyGuy says:

    Just for funsies, tell him you don’t have a demon, but you might have Vagina Dentata. Don’t explain it to him… wait for him to look it up. Then ask him if he knows an orthogynodontist.

  387. gentleman soul says:

    @YGTBKM
    ” As for a demon in my vagina! ”

    I can do an exorcism for you and I will waive my usual fee for a blog Princess {-;

  388. DorkyGuy says:

    @YGBKM~ No need to be sorry.. Idiots are everywhere! Being idiots, largely for our amusement.

    I do have a personal question, if your demonic vagina can see the future, am I in it? (groan)

  389. Nicegirl says:

    ygbkm… lol you are too funny. The demonic vajaja!

  390. “DorkyGuy says:
    September 25, 2014 at 1:13 pm
    @YGBKM~ LOL! omg… I have actually known people like that, who are afraid of catching demons or spirits. I grew up as a child in a gay home, and I actually knew religious people (in my church) who literally thought I had inherited a spirit of homosexuality and were leery around me.

    Run for the hills, darlin’… those people are more screwed up than any demon could make them.”

    Yeah, you’re right, Dorky. I don’t think there’s much reasoning with people like that. Sorry about your earlier experiences. It seems like you’ve come along well.

    “Nicegirl says:

    So I have to ask, are you going to meet him still? And not to be too personal but do you have a demon in your vagina? lol ”

    So far, Im not inclined to meet him. Perhaps, if he comes to my town, but even still I’m not really sure how to have real and meaning interactions with someone who believes in hoohah demons. I’m going to call him tonight and feel him out a little better…without reservations! What, anyway, could I possibly say to top his demon theory?! In considering his statement though, Im wondering if perhaps he means demons in the way that one might instead say “bad energy”? Either way, seems pretty far out there that he’d think this demon or bad energy was contained within, and transferred through the vagina.

    As for a demon in my vagina! I’m not exactly sure, nicegirl :/. I did some kegels, and had myself a solo mini-marathon today just to see what would happened, but I experienced no demonic creatures or dark voices projecting from my vagina. But perhaps it only comes out if there’s another body for it to crawl into? I gotta get to the bottom of this. Might have to have one of the guys come over and do the looky-look test.

    Fellas?

  391. Nicegirl says:

    I would not say I am a “specialist” but I do love it… that sounds bad but true. As for a smell… you do prep not just go for it… that could be messy and gross. My ass smells like peppermint Josh 😉 I hope that wasn’t TMI YIKES!

  392. Josh says:

    I have tried anal with a copule of women. Both disliked it. One woukd have done it again if I had asked her to. The other one would not.

    I did not care for the smell myself. So I don’t miss it.

    All that said, if you like it then why not? butt fuck all you want.

  393. gentleman soul says:

    @Nice

    Have a good experience and you will know what all the fuss is about ;o)

    Hmmm, NY right ? Well ,I’m game -anybody up for it ? Or down for it I guess is the lingo now ( : I have had experiences before but have not been too impressed . I do regularly titillate the outer 1 ” which is extremely sensitive with all my SBs -both orally and digitally ,but have not had any excited about deep diving . I need an anal specialist to show me the ropes -Nice Girl ??

  394. Alexis says:

    “Sorry but I prefer to be safe and see if the guy is actually looking for sugar from me or he’s looking to get rich with my good name…”

    Good girl!
    I hear you. I’ve met more than my share of guys who are LOOKING for money, not wanting to provide it.

    “A name and a birth date will get you just about nowhere in obtaining a credit card under false pretenses.”

    False

    “It is nothing out of the world meeting a person to have fun with her and then start from there…”

    Anyone who is truly sincere is going to have zero issues with this.

  395. DorkyGuy says:

    @FB~ Regarding umlaut letters, you should be able to use a Windows tool called “charmap”. (start-> run-> charmap-> press enter). From that, you should be able to select from a variety of Unicode characters, which should include umlaut characters.

    Testing: æ Ǣ ẽ ῠ ü ҫ

    If you type them frequently, Windows makes each one of these characters available via an “alt-keycode” hotkey. Learn the hotkeys, and you can easily use these characters while typing, without any extra utilities.

  396. DorkyGuy says:

    @FB~ LOL, indeed! I am the only straight guy I know who thinks going to a musical or ballet is blast.

    SB: “This is boring. At the intermission, let’s go back to the hotel and have sex”
    DG: “No way! The villain’s schemes are about to be discovered!”

  397. Nicegirl says:

    @complicated ” I tried it once and would not care to repeat it (granted it was my first time and we both had no idea wtf we were doing.)”

    Have a good experience and you will know what all the fuss is about ;o)

  398. complicatedSB says:

    lol @ “bypass a perfectly good vagina”

    I’m with you. I don’t see what the fuss is. I tried it once and would not care to repeat it (granted it was my first time and we both had no idea wtf we were doing.)

  399. FatB'StardSA says:

    @DorkyGuy

    “I grew up as a child in a gay home…”

    I guess this explains your talent at writing show tune lyrics :-).

  400. FatB'StardSA says:

    Is there any way of adding an umlaut to a letter on the blog?

  401. jemma101 says:

    I have never done anything like this but I want to meet someone and be spoiled Ive worked all my life and now I want to do and go places Ive never been before Im starting another business and it can be ran from the road by my sons.so if interested and got money get in touch

  402. FatB'StardSA says:

    @Lime, other SB’s who actually want a SD.

    You are getting advise from SB’s who don’t have a SD, and will never have one. This is not match.com and you are not going to be able to pick and choose between “hot” SD’s who are going to help you out.

    There is a good chance you already have A LOT of photos of you in a bikini or tight outfit downing shots of Jager during spring break on the internet. Sending some of these pictures to a potential SD is not the end of the world and will give you an advantage over the competition, and don’t kid yourself, you have PLENTY of competition.

  403. Nicegirl says:

    @ygbkm… “With all of the stories I hear about misrepresentation, I’m not sure why the pic is such a big deal.”

    The big deal is that for every 10 SD’s you talk to maybe 1 is for real. The pic tells more of a story than just what he looks like physically. Also I think it can weed out the ones that you know beyond a shadow of a doubt you don’t want to meet based on physical looks alone. I am cautious on who I meet and really only would meet if I feel very confident it will become a relationship.

  404. gentleman soul says:
    September 25, 2014 at 11:31 am
    @YGBKM
    “I don’t know if the chicken or the egg comes first, but it’s almost like distrust lends to more distrust, making both parties more cautious?”

    Who blinks first ? There are so many nut cases out there that I will not send real pics of me until I meet the Pot . I have very close fakes a former SB picked out for me . I have yet to be called out on it . So at some point either the SB or SD has to trust and take a chance.”

    Thanks, gentleman soul. I might consider this. Id liken your “similar looking” picture to my own profile pic in that my pic gives a good enough idea of what to expect (it is my own photo, though). Many don’t suffice for anything less than a clear face pic. Some want body pics, and apparently some want hoohah pics (I’ve not received such a request). Somehow I think that a pot receiving a pic thought to be real might make them comfortable enough to open a trusting dialog. Perhaps IRL appearance will compensate, if it’s an honest (relatively speaking) and close enough representation, if noticed at all. Some pots just get stuck on the photo, and absolutely won’t budge past it. With all of the stories I hear about misrepresentation, I’m not sure why the pic is such a big deal. It’s disappointing when it becomes the deal breaker for someone with whom you’ve had an otherwise pleasant exchange.

  405. Nicegirl says:

    @gentle… this is extremely personal but yes I do like it however, many women don’t… from what I have been told anyway. I think it has something to do with your kink factor lol

  406. gentleman soul says:

    @Complicated

    ” not open the barn door. :)”
    This “opening ” segues to a question I have for the ladies .

    Do you all like anal ? I see this come up in some blogs as the be all end all of experiences ,and do not see what the big deal is . For me I hate to bypass a perfectly good vagina . No Butts about it !

  407. Nicegirl says:

    @Lime “Is it normal for perspective SD asks for naked pics? or lingerie pics?” Next time you are asked (and you will be) ask to play a game. Tell him to send a pic of himself and you will send an equal pic in return. I have done this in the past and it has been an interesting exchange. or it just stops the conversation cold.

  408. complicatedSB says:

    @Lime in my experience, those that ask for those kinds of pictures are a waste of your time and as @NC Gent said, picture collectors. Acquiescing to his request will start things off on the wrong foot and you want to tempt & tease; not open the barn door. :)

  409. Nicegirl says:

    @ygbkm… well your name is what I was thinking when you told that absolutely crazy-ass story!!! I truly cannot believe that happened. So I suppose not pics = possible crazy delusional freak? I would never meet someone without seeing their face first so you know you are not wasting your time at the very least. So I have to ask, are you going to meet him still? And not to be too personal but do you have a demon in your vagina? lol 😉

  410. DorkyGuy says:

    @YGBKM~ LOL! omg… I have actually known people like that, who are afraid of catching demons or spirits. I grew up as a child in a gay home, and I actually knew religious people (in my church) who literally thought I had inherited a spirit of homosexuality and were leery around me.

    Run for the hills, darlin’… those people are more screwed up than any demon could make them.

  411. FatB'StardSA says:

    @Lime

    NC Gent if full of shit. Lot’s of SD’s want to see how sexy you are, that’s part of the appeal, and this is far from a red flag. Women post sexy lingerie/bikini pics on social media all the time. Let’s not pretend you SB’s are a bunch of modest virgins. X rated photos are always appreciated but I would not be shocked if a SB did not want to send them to me.

  412. gentleman soul says:

    Lime says:

    Is it normal for perspective SD asks for naked pics? or lingerie pics?

    Not normal but common as Brother NC said . But full length summer wear shots are desirable because we can confirm the veracity of an SB’s description of herself as “thin” . Unfortunately many Sugars falsely advertise -both Daddies and Babies. I have met many “slim” Pots who are 20 + Lbs beyond even Average. Do looks matter ? Yep !

  413. Ursus says:

    Trust is made of delicate glass that might not survive on first impact. One of my goals of the initial text exchange is to establish if I can trust this person. If I can and we connect I move quickly.
    I try to meet the first time in or near their hometown. I have seen it all, girls that take my money and run, and girls that pay their travel expenses (train tickets or short drives <100 Km) on their own for the first meet. I have girls whom I've friended in Facebook, and girls I dont know their address, and thats fine for me. I respect their need for privacy.
    So to all of you who might have taken advantage of, use it as a learning experience, move on. The next time you will be wiser and it would work better. Live to learn!

    Greetings from Europe

  414. NC Gent says:

    Hey Lime — unfortunately, it is commonplace, but it is a huge red flag that he isn’t a real SD. It is most likely a picture collector and-or a fake SD. Gentleman don’t request those types of pics, especially before you have met and before the sugar has started flowing.

  415. Lime says:

    Is it normal for perspective SD asks for naked pics? or lingerie pics?

  416. gentleman soul says:

    RE:Trust -a sad story

    I met a Pot out of town and we hit it off and decided to go to her house for the night. She lives in BFE 2 miles from the nearest neighbor . We were getting ready for bed and I had a canvass bag with my toys and toothbrush . As I walked to the Bathroom she said “You don’t have a gun in there do you ? ” Whaaat ?? “please don’t kill me in the night ” WTF ! I showed her the goods and we went on to have a fine time . But ,she should never have brought a stranger to her home ,no matter how hot I am . Girls ,don’t ever do that (unless it is me of course LOL )

    People take risks and usually get away with it ,but some don’t as we unfortunately read about in the news regularly .

  417. gentleman soul says:

    @YGBKM
    I don’t know if the chicken or the egg comes first, but it’s almost like distrust lends to more distrust, making both parties more cautious?

    Who blinks first ? There are so many nut cases out there that I will not send real pics of me until I meet the Pot . I have very close fakes a former SB picked out for me . I have yet to be called out on it . So at some point either the SB or SD has to trust and take a chance.

    Long distance will never be my MO . Too many scammers are working the “send me money” circuit . However ,if a guy lives in a barren area and can not get away (wife at home ) ,then he might have no recourse but to import talent . In that case he will have to give up the goods . I would demand Skype and a real ID before flying off to meet a total stranger . And SBs should expect a round trip ticket and cash in the mail.

  418. “Josh says:
    September 25, 2014 at 10:05 am
    @NoiseofMySignalSD

    “I recognize some of that was humorous fiction”

    Are you accusing yougottabemakingstuffup for writing fiction?”

    Hehe…of course, the responses written in all caps were not things I said…not out loud anyway 😉

  419. flyR says:

    One of the topics should be selecting the right photos’

    Profile was filled with “innocence, sweetness etc” First photo sent directly is one only her gynecologist would appreciate. I was surprised that tin eye did not find a match.

    I think “no test drives ” is also a good screening device.

    Just a comment “not into weird” can help

  420. “NC Gent says:
    September 25, 2014 at 9:50 am
    YGTBKM – first of all, that was hilarious. Second of all, you are still talking to him and are still planning on meeting him? (I recognize some of that was humorous fiction)”

    Ha…;-p. I think I’m gonna pass on the mountain top exorcism. If anything, I’ll possibly meet him in two months when he’s able to come to my town as previously discussed. I’m guessing our conversations in the meantime could vary from falling flat, to down-right outlandish. I’m mostly thinking this guy is a fake or flake, or perhaps slightly off his rocker. Demons? ygbkm!

    Demon proof condoms…bah!

  421. Josh says:

    @NoiseofMySignalSD

    “I recognize some of that was humorous fiction”

    Are you accusing yougottabemakingstuffup for writing fiction?

  422. complicatedSB says:

    @flyR @NC Gent I’ve already put it past me. I’ll just make sure that it’s crystal clear that the first meeting is a just a M&G and not an opportunity to “test drive”.

    @yougottabekiddingme I’d love to hear more about silhouette man. :) I’m very leery of sharing my face pics and I’m actually more likely to meet before sharing a face photo. Is that what he wanted from you (a face pic) or more … risque photos? I’ve been on SA for a few but man, the stories I could tell. lol.

  423. Josh says:

    One of the characteristics of new latex is that it’s has a very high demon impermeability factor. However, you are correct, new condoms are not 100% demon proof yet. To make latex impermeable, you’ll have to line it with semen on the vigina side of the condom.

  424. NC Gent says:

    YGTBKM – first of all, that was hilarious. Second of all, you are still talking to him and are still planning on meeting him? (I recognize some of that was humorous fiction)

  425. Kms2014 says:

    Whoa…flYR? Is that true? All this time I did not realise this, but you are right…I sent someone something the other week, and their name showed up(just checked). Hmm, wonder if paypal allows you to open a spoof type account that you can just use for receiving money from demons?

  426. NC Gent says:

    KMS – after the transfer is completed on paypal, the sender gets the full name of the recipient, so that is why YGTBKM saw an earlier post regarding the $1 transfer.

  427. Kms2014 says:

    Are you being serious, ygbkm?

  428. “Kms2014 says:
    September 25, 2014 at 9:38 am
    @ygbkm…you can set up a paypal account that he can transfer money to by your phone number or email.”

    Kms, I thought so, too. One of the guys (flyR, was it you?) said that when money is transferred the recipient’s name shows?

  429. “Nicegirl says:
    September 24, 2014 at 4:55 pm
    @ygbkm, If you have not exchanged multiple pics don’t wait 2 months to meet. If he is not open with pics… more than one and recent I am afraid you are going to waist 2 months of chatting and feeling like you know this person to only be hugely let down. I did this very same thing, he did show me one pic (he claimed that he hated taking selfies so I didn’t argue) but when we met face to face I didn’t even recognize him. He came up to me because I had no idea that he was even there. It truly was a terrible meeting because online we had such chemistry but then I felt scammed in a way but was still polite, had a drink and politely left. IT WAS VERY AWKWARD. If a man or woman has nothing to hide they will be very open with pictures and anything being asked – within reason of course – before meeting.”

    Considering your advice, I promptly called silhouette man yesterday. My request for his picture went as posted above, and ultimately he said that we should just not exchange pictures at all. We did come to a compromise about meeting sooner. He agreed to a meet in the state where he’ll be doing business next. Says that until then he’ll be quite busy with work and surrounded by colleagues with after work team building and socializing. Anyway, we made tentative plans for me to come to his next city. While Id much rather meeting locally, I figured I’ll just plan as if I was taking a trip anyway, and will take caution of meeting him in a public, well-populated place with sufficient lighting.

    Then the conversation got a little weird. I asked if he was seeing anyone, and he said no. Says he hasn’t had intercourse in one year, to which I responded, “SUNSHINEofYOURCELIBACY?! IS THIS YOU, SIR JACOB?! IDENTIFY YOURSELF!!!”

    After a brief moment of silence, I asked why he hadn’t had intercourse in a year, and he answered, “I don’t want to go inside anyone.” To which I responded, “40-YEAR OLD VIRGIN?! IS THIS YOU?! ALEXIS HAS BEEN LOOKING HIGH AND LOW FOR YOU…IDENTIFY YOURSELF!!!”

    After another brief moment of silence, Silhouette Man explained that there are diseases inside. To which I replied, “JOSHYKISSES, IS THIS YOU?! CANT YOU JUST PUT ON A CONDOM, OR DO THE SD-RECOMMENDED LOOKY-LOOK TEST, AND SHUT UP ALREADY?!” He went further to explain…

    *wait…you might want to brace yourself for this one, and swallow whatever you might be drinking*

    He went further to explain that there could be…”demons in there”. Said, “If the girl has demons and you go inside, then the demons could go inside of you.”

    After yet another brief moment of silence, followed by uncontrollable demonic laughter, I said in a sweet and innocent voice, “But don’t you want to be inside of me? What if I want you to be inside of me?” I let out a slight moan.

    After a quick thought, he answered, “Well…you’ll have to earn it!”

    Oh my aching ribs, and the tears…what comedic pain. Somebody bring the holy water and exorcise these demons!!! But NOT BEFORE I give silhouette man my full name, date of birth, photo, and address so you know exactly who you’re looking for (the naked girl having convulsions with her head spun around backwards), and so you know exactly where to come (apparently, not inside).

    Whaaaat the hell?!

  430. Kms2014 says:

    @ygbkm…you can set up a paypal account that he can transfer money to by your phone number or email.

  431. Carminna says:
    “I have a dilema about trusting a POT SD in meeting for the first time where I must fly to go see him…. Do you Trust to send him your real name and ID so that he can buy you the tickets and send them to you???? I am not stupid… and I do not believe this is normal…”

    The whole trust issue is kind of a catch 22 stalemate in some cases. The guy who I’m in contact with now wants to send me money. I thanked him for the gesture, but Ive not made mention of it since because I’m not comfortable sharing the personal identifiers necessary for a transfer. Someone shared here something about sending one dollar first in order to get her full name to search online.

    I don’t know if the chicken or the egg comes first, but it’s almost like distrust lends to more distrust, making both parties more cautious? He asked why I wouldn’t share more pictures of myself, and I reminded him that his profile picture is a computer generated silhouette man. Said that he doesn’t share a picture because of his job. I reminded him that I, too, have a career. I don’t think he even considered that discretion and privacy are important to me for the same reasons they are important for him. Somehow, if he doesn’t want to share a pic, it’s because of discretion, but if I do not share a pic it’s shady business? Perhaps Im comfortable with not having a guys pic because I know that my own motives are not malicious, and I respect privacy. I’m not exactly sure where the middle ground meets. Sometimes what’s important to some isn’t so much to others. Anyway, I think Id be most comfortable having met him before sharing my personal information, unless we’ve established comfort some other way.

    Anyone know of an app that allows money transfer solely by phone number, email or username?

    P.S. More on silhouette man below…

  432. NC Gent says:

    Ok ComplicatedSB — sorry that happened to you. I don’t think you have to worry about SA shooting the messenger (in this case you). If they don’t like it, they usually just ignore it. A few weeks ago I sent a message to a pot SB, she responded with an email that said “text me at xxx” She never looked at my profile. I googled the number and it came up on a couple of escort sites. I reported her to the site, but nothing ever happened – I guess because she is a paying member. SA could see the email with the number for themselves, and easily google it to confirm I wasn’t making up the story, but that never happened apparently.

  433. flyR says:

    “It’s FRUIT lol. The guy appears to have either an orange/apple slice and the girl has cherries.” Ahh I should have known, he is saying goodbye as he leaves for a date with his friend the interior decorator………

    Boundaries I seriously doubt that SA would object to “I only play safe”

  434. complicatedSB says:

    @NC Gent, this was on a first meeting! I’m fine with making out on a first meet if the chemistry is there but he … kinda got it twisted. I’m seriously tempted to report him to SA but I’m worried about retaliation. In any case, he’s been blocked already.

    @flyR I’m pretty honest about wanting a physical ‘thing’ as well as the support so it’s not me being weird about that aspect. I don’t think SA will take too kindly with being that … blunt about the safe sex stuff. It’s probably best for an IM conversation.

  435. Alexis says:

    “I could make the case that one $2K SB is really a cost savings measure

    Tuition $1,000 – charitable contribution
    Entertainment Savings 1,500 – food travel entertainment
    Less SB Entertainment & Food – 300 food and wine -mostly takeout”

    Um… just curious? Has anyone successfully deducted SB costs off of their taxes?

  436. Alexis says:

    “Even if these men pass a background check that doesn’t mean they’re not abusive. Its also come to my attention a majority of POT sugar daddies on SA.”

    Yep, the usual false sense of security.

    The rest of your post though, Tsunami… you have to learn to better protect yourself. There were probably signs beforehand that this guy was a phoney. There usually always are. You’ll have to better learn those signs so that you push these types aside BEFORE meeting them and wasting time on them.

    You were lucky to not have been hurt! Just count it up to a learning experience and move on.

    “Going out of town with someone really should warrant a higher allowance, due to time taken off work, ect.”

    I agree with this in theory. Most SBs in my area don’t even work though. At the very least though the cost of transportation should be given/reimbursed.

  437. VA Gent says:

    Carminna–Maybe just me, but my sense of caution (were I an SB) would dictate that the POT SD always comes to you first–you meet in a neutral place on your own turf. Maybe that makes things tougher, but it also makes things safer and will prove he’s genuinely interested in making an investment.
    Also, a trip on his part is not an obligation to anything more than meet him on your part.

  438. Alexis says:

    “My new SB is awesome–smart, educated, charming, and beautiful.”

    Oh good RSD, you found someone! I’m so happy for you.

    “all SD’s – I’m SHOCKED to hear of the troubles you have encountered. This was not the norm years ago.”

    No see, I keep telling people this site has seriously changed in the last year. It used to be very uncomplicated to select a SB here. Now you have to swirve and weave through the web.

    “There are champagne bottles in the background and garbage floating around in their glasses……….”

    It’s FRUIT lol. The guy appears to have either an orange/apple slice and the girl has cherries.

  439. VA Gent says:

    Flyr–your comment about SBs requiring ‘safe sex only’ in their profile would likely be zapped under the stricter SA regime. It seems that any association of sex and sugaring gets zapped.
    Any other SDs noticing that school seems to be back in session? Throuhg my filtered seraches, the number of active SBs in my area (DC) has jumped by 50+ in the past couple of weeks. Must be all those college and grad student girls back in town.

  440. NC Gent says:

    The google guy was a moron in more ways than one, Dorky. Seeing an “SB” that had hundreds of clients…. it was appalling to me that she sipped her wine as she watched him die and didn’t do anything to help him.

  441. DorkyGuy says:

    Regarding Google Guy, I don’t know much about the whole heroin thing, but is it common to let someone else inject you? Seems like a really stupid thing to do… even more stupid than doing heroin in the first place.

  442. Carminna says:

    NC Gent….Trust in the worl of Sugaring goes a great distance…. Look at the guy from google what happen to him on his own boat and I am sure he trusted the girl who was there with him also….

    We cannot ever be sure of waht people are willing to do and I am talking for first meetings and trust can come by when a connection has been made and we are confortable in sharing real life information… It is nothing out of the world meeting a person to have fun with her and then start from there…

  443. NC Gent says:

    A name and a birth date will get you just about nowhere in obtaining a credit card under false pretenses. It would require a lot more than that. Just curious, you don’t trust your SD enough to give him your full name and birth date, but you trust him enough to spend time with him outside of your home turf?

  444. flyR says:

    carmina – It is hard to get a sugar relationship started if there is no trust.

    “most girls just looking to collect travel money” that’s not my experience.

    “many guys wanting to collect real name and birthdate” ….get credit card fraud done.

    using SA to do credit card fraud is a pretty tough and dangerous way to go. I would be more worried about being stranded, abused etc. If you have little or no sugar experience travel to first meet is not recommended.

  445. Carminna says:

    Thank you Josh for the help…..
    I understand that most girls here are just looking to get the travel monney and not show up, however, I see also manny guys just wanting to colect our Real name and birth date to most likely get credit card fraud done….

    I will not be surprised that some of the millions these guys have are exactly from doing those type of business…. Sorry but I prefer to be safe and see if the guy is actually looking for sugar from me or he’s looking to get rich with my good name…

  446. flyR says:

    @complicated – No doubt there are SD’s who are looking for something they are not finding elsewhere. It’s good to filter these out early in the process if what they want is not what you are comfortable with. The alternative is that either you will feel abused or they will fill shortchanged or both…… Not a healthy situation. ….. Probably use of condoms and anal are the most common issues.

    The SB who wants her SD to use condoms should probably say something like “safe sex only” in her profile and avoid the waste of time or difficult situation. Understand that there are lots of profiles out there which indicate pretty much anything goes. For me that’s a turnoff.

    Re Real names – If I am going to get naked with you I want to know your name and I think you probably want to know mine. On the few occasions where I have flown someone in for a first meet I have purchased the tickets. Part of it is to avoid rinser. Hate to blowup your bubble but if you post a face picture here the determined individual can probably find out who you are.

  447. flyR says:

    @gtt – One race = 1 year of sugar

  448. NC Gent says:

    ComplicatedSB — just curious, did you receive an allowance before he attempted to take said liberties? Had you discussed an arrangement at all?

  449. NC Gent says:

    Carminna — he needs your full name and date of birth to buy a plane ticket for you. He doesn’t need to see your ID. If you give him false information, you may have problems when you go through security. I have had a couple of SBs flake when asking for that, I think mainly because they had fibbed about their age, but it could have been they were scared. You could tell him to send you a copy of his ID, and then you will be glad to reciprocate. Sending money to buy a ticket is very risky so most SDs prefer to purchase a plane ticket.

  450. FatB'StardSA says:

    @gtt_envy

    Don’t worry about Kms2014. It’s best to let her live her fantasy life without asking too many questions :-).

  451. FatB'StardSA says:

    @gtt_envy

    “Since there are so many flakes on the SD side someone younger… offering $1500/mo for 2 dates maybe 3 planned around events, dinner, drinks, 4 star hotels nets me a pretty good success rate.”

    Are these dates all weekend affairs of just one day events? What would you consider a high allowance to be?

  452. Josh says:

    @Carminna

    Unfortunately, there are enough “rinsers” on SA to warrant such caution from the SDs’ side.

    If he sent travel expenses to ten girls maybe one or two will honor their side of the deal and actually show up.

    The rest would take that money as a “gift”, and would rather spend the time to hit up another fool to get them to send the “travel” expenses.

    What to talk of sending money to an SB with fake identity, the upfront money to an SB, whom you have already met several times, is promptly squandered.

    Now I brace myself with the question: “What kind of girls are you arranging with?” *sigh*

  453. complicatedSB says:

    I had my first experience with someone who wanted to take more liberties than i was comfortable with. Of course, when I said so, it’s been nothing but silence on the POT SD’s end. In a way, it’s good riddance but my goodness, I hate having my time wasted. Not sure why I’m really commenting here except to vent. That sour experience has certainly solidified my resolve to apply a stricter filter to those I allow to meet me.

  454. Carminna says:

    I have a dilema about trusting a POT SD in meeting for the first time where I must fly to go see him…. Do you Trust to send him your real name and ID so that he can buy you the tickets and send them to you???? I am not stupid… and I do not believe this is normal…

    I just got a guy upset with me because I did not want to trust him with my real ID. How do you girls get travel expenses before flying to go meet the first time?? I see for him if he sends money for that before a first real meeting he migh not trust me either for me to show up…

    So how do we get this working if the POT SD canot fly to come and see me at my location??? Are we talking here of men who write on their profiles making 400,thousand a month and me just barely making it trough the bills.. who can spend for a travel expense? Me or the POT SD? My guess is…. they wright in the profile making all that monney just for show off…..The truh will reveal herself…

  455. Josh says:

    @gtt_envy,

    Enjoy the silence while it lasts. Hahahaha!

  456. Sheryl says:

    I’m a big believer when it comes to people not wasting time. So I do understand the whole lets not text/email 12764283762x before you buckle down and want to meet. I’ve spoken to SD’s who usually ask to meet within 2 or 3 days of approaching me on SA. I also feel though for a lot of SB’s they are hesitant to actually make the first “Would you like to meet for coffee” suggestion because we may come off desperate and or too eager. A lot of the SD’s on here are also a little old school so for most of them making the first move is a preference.

  457. gtt_envy says:

    NOT ONE JOSH POST TODAY?????…….HELL HAS OFFICIALLY FROZEN OVER AND I SWEAR THAT’S A PIG IN THE SKY!!

  458. gtt_envy says:

    @KMS, good response and I’ll take that……definitely room for many types of sugar!!

    @Flyr, no way IRL gf rules great heart, very grounded, philanthropy ic, giving, and freaky :) SB is
    just fun on the side to fill the gaps and fill my urge for variety.

    Rarely is the sex as good though parts can be better the whole usually falls short. Lack of emotional intimacy is the big reason imo.

    Still fun if not super risky. Maybe one day I’ll get back into boats and cars, but this is so much cheaper and the memories are better lol.

  459. Kms2014 says:

    @flyr…I think a SD who wants to better his SB’s life, whether in terms of a charitable contribution or as a mentor, helping her start up her company or being an investor in it, or just bettering her life, while she adds even more value to his….this is my idea of what it should be. What it should be and what it is are two different things, though 😉 Certain men on here have this attitude, but others would be better off just admitting what they are doing, which is no different than a revolving door of SBs that they try and get as cheap or free as possible, for reasons that benefit mainly them, or they are taking advantage of desperate women for quick cash..or, SBs that are better off on backpage, as they are scammers or taking advantage of lonely men.

  460. Jacob says:

    @aliceS
    The software glitch locked out my old blog account as well as that of the newcomer using a name similar to my old username. I asked the management if there was a ban against me, and was informed that there was none. The management asked me to test again if I could post from my old username. It was blocked by server software. So I had to use a new username for my blog comments; this time with a shorter name, so as to avoid going beyond the string match significant-length limit.

  461. flyR says:

    @Tsunami – Background checks only tag the worst of the worst and are near worthless . You have to take responsibility for your own safety and security.

  462. flyR says:

    At Tsunami

    I’m sorry, most women disdain conservativeS but Ronald Reagan offered you the most sage advice ever offered to SB’s “TRUST BUT VERIFY”

    Don’t be disappointed – Preferably never travel to meet for the first tiem. NEVER travel without having the SD pay for everything in advance. Never let the panties hit the floor without a commitment and preferably the exchange completed.

    It’s sad that there are predators on both sides of the sugar bowl .

  463. flyR says:

    @KMS

    I could make the case that one $2K SB is really a cost savings measure

    Tuition $1,000 – charitable contribution
    Entertainment Savings 1,500 – food travel entertainment
    Less SB Entertainment & Food – 300 food and wine -mostly takeout

    Time spent with IRL GF family 2,000 Does not include brain damage

    Half the sugar goes to tuition and that makes me feel good

    IRL GF requires entertainment, dinners at overcrowded, overpriced restaurants plus travel etc – I spent enough time on the road, normally flying 3-4 days a week, staying in hotel rooms etc that it is not fun unless a very special destination.

    SB is happy with healthy takeout and a great bottle of wine or a walk down the hill to texmex. Dinner’s on the balcony watching the sunset.

    One of the biggest payoffs is not having to deal with her family – am I serious, etc. Having to show her brother pictures of the Arctic ice or ask him why if he cared so much for the universe he bought a Chinese TV the production of which generated about 10x the pollution if it were made in the USA.

    In all seriousness one of the problems faced by those over 40 is that “age appropriate” female clocks are running at double speed. Not surprisingly they want relationships to evolve at far faster than a 25 yo for whom the future is endless. You end up hurting nice people whose expectations are simply in a different universe. This does not include the over 40 SB’s who are some of the most wonderful women wandering the earth. Comfortable as single women, “experienced” in the ways of the world they are special

  464. Kms2014 says:

    Tsunami…am sorry that happened to you…sounds like a SB nightmare story. Hope you did not have sex with him…Certain men you get a good feeling for, and can trust to follow through with an arrangement allowance, when you fist meet them out of town, but would not recommend for new SBs, really, until they get a better feel for how to figure out who is a real SD. That is where intense screening comes in, but even that is no guarantee. Start off with having him help you with a few small things, before you go out of town with him…or have him transfer allowance before you go on trip with him, if that happens again. Going out of town with someone really should warrant a higher allowance, due to time taken off work, ect.

  465. Tsunami says:

    Although read these articles diligently. I take your advice and expertise as the experienced. I’ve gone on some prospective dates. Only to be horribly disappointed and lied too continuously. None of the gentlemen I’ve had the unfortunate pleasure of speaking to or dating were serious about an arrangement nor did they stand by their very own profiles. For instance I agreed to meet with a POT there was travel involved which was clearly in his profile and in our conversation as would be taken care of. I traveled met him for a weekend get away. Only to be left all by myself the entire 3 day weekend, his kids and grandchildren came over, I asked him do I need to leave? He said no. You’re my guest. Please stay. But then he left again. After 4 hours I text him. Did you forget me? He replied… Ok. He returning after 9pm that night! No breakfast, no lunch, no dinner’s for me with my POT sugar. I’d made up my mind to leave that evening but he told me we couldn’t leave until morning and fell asleep Day (2) two. That morning day (3) my bags were ready. I asked for breakfast and the agreed expenses. He said “Apologized for not spending any time with me, told me he’d make it up, please set up a Chase quick pay account to make up for my absence”. I did in minutes on my smartphone, showed it too him, gave him the account number and asked for his follow thru. He suddenly became smart phone illiterate, had an immediate emergency, dropped me off and blocked me on SA. I was deceived, lied to, abandoned, played, a victim of a predator. I’ve blocked him on my SA account and wished there was a way of warning other sugarbabies of predators like him. Its understandable there’s two sides to every story and would need the other party’s side. I’d like to hear why I was treated so poorly! However’s if you have an agreement and they don’t follow thru where’s the SB protection? Even if these men pass a background check that doesn’t mean they’re not abusive. Its also come to my attention a majority of POT sugar daddies on SA. Also have an account on your second website “What’s your price”. This now increases the POT SD odds of SB’s 20:1 but decrease the SB’s. Sugar babies need a much better forum and greater selection. Without sugar babies for the sugar daddies there’s no Seeking Arrangement site.

  466. aliceS says:

    Hello Elaine. Im pretty fine :)
    Thank you for information :) why such name change lol.

  467. Kms2014 says:

    I didn’t say sleeping with someone younger and out of your league is not worth validation, I said it was silly that men find validation in women they are PAYING to sleep with them.

    And, nice try to exaggerate my words. No other SB can find that, or no other SB that posts on this blog? How many SBs in this world actually post on this blog? And, how many would tell their story, even if they did, when men like you accuse them of talking bologna, just because their reality is different than yours? I never said I was lavished with large allowances, unless you consider over $200 to $300 per meet, which is what you pay large, the yes, suppose it is large, hehe!So what if a couple of my past benefactors have been a few years younger? They looked older than I did, really… Not all men need a woman 15-20 years younger for a SD/SB relationship. They just want a simple, no strings or drama
    relationship with a woman they find attractive. If you wish, can email you proof like I have others who once questioned 😉 It isn’t a big deal to me, but just hate that so many men on here think an arrangement is a one size fits all. There is room for many scenarios here…don’t be so close minded.

  468. gtt_envy says:

    @VA_Gent, we are the same except I don’t “Ask” I just send a very highly honed detailed message with tidbits added, so it seems more personal. It highlights everything from frequency, types of dates, allowance, discretion, and full expectations too 😉

    As you said some aren’t interested and many others are :) Since there are so many flakes on the SD side someone younger… offering $1500/mo for 2 dates maybe 3 planned around events, dinner, drinks, 4 star hotels nets me a pretty good success rate.

    @KMS, HELL YES there is validation in sleeping with someone 15-18yrs my junior and not having to give a allowance!! Call me vain, insecure, loser, idiot, I don’t care it will never cease to feel good when a much younger/beautiful woman CHOOSES to spend time with you for NO compensation!!

    You shouldn’t care you are the anomaly you have SD’s your age or younger who lavish you with large allowances and gifts that would make any Courtesan proud…….no other SB can find that, but you do :) so you have something few others do. Or you could just be full of bologna!

  469. Kms2014 says:

    Yummy is a big hunk of ginger plopped in a nice vodka (:

  470. Kms2014 says:

    Liquor*

  471. Kms2014 says:

    They look to be infusing their drinks with fruits and veggies, like some do with liqour and even water. It is healthy that way…your alcohol is part of the fruit and veggie group now 😉

  472. Kms2014 says:

    “Jacob says:
    September 24, 2014 at 6:24 pm
    @aliceS

    Glad to see you on the blog again. Yes, my username on the blog has changed due to blog server software glitch after someone else used a username very similar to my old one resulting in both blog accounts getting locked out by software partial string matching heuristics.

    Please feel free to ask any question. If it is of personal nature, please feel free to email me at NESunShineSD at gmail dot com.”

    Ehehe! 😉

  473. Nicegirl says:

    FlyR… that does seem like a waste of a possible good beverage… adding the …. what the heck is that? carrots??

  474. flyR says:

    I’m afraid to guess what might be in the glasses of the couple pictured at the beginning of the topic. There are champagne bottles in the background and garbage floating around in their glasses………

  475. flyR says:

    @RSD ” The question got me thinking of why I bore of some SBs but not of others. It seems like the SBs who are airheads and can’t establish any mental connection with me are the ones I bore of. The ones whom I’d date IRL (educated, hard-working, ambitious, charming, and attractive) and who can make a mental connection, I don’t bore of.””

    100% On target

    Other desirable attributes – absence of drama (other than pleasure) and niceness. Not looking for a limp personality but my personal mission statement for sugar is an “artificial drama” free environment. It also works the other way. If I have had a tough day I need to leave the conflict at the door.

  476. Rachel SB says:

    @aliceS – Some of us “newbies” are “oldies”. Gosh, how long have I been around here now? It’s been a while :) I come and go from the blog based on if I’m in an arrangement. I have had a few SD’s that asked if they were giving me a certain allowance that was more than enough (which obviously varies from girl to girl) that I not login into SA. So I keep to my word.

    @all SD’s – I’m SHOCKED to hear of the troubles you have encountered. This was not the norm years ago. Can I ask a general age you have been seeking? Sounds like some of the issues may be due to immaturity, selfishness, and jumping into the sugar bowl without thinking it through. I try to meet a POT within a week or two if they are in driving distance. If they are not, then within a month is mandatory no matter who has to travel… you are either serious or not. I don’t want to waste your time, and I ask for the same. It’s respect.

    I agree if a missed meeting is not had within a week – game over (again if someone has to travel via plane there is a grace period).

    @RSD –
    “It seems like the SBs who are airheads and can’t establish any mental connection with me are the ones I bore of. The ones whom I’d date IRL (educated, hard-working, ambitious, charming, and attractive) and who can make a mental connection, I don’t bore of.”

    That statement makes me smile! That there guys and gals it exactly it… for me anyways! Nicegirl, I’m thinking you too! And I am certain my missing SB’s from past.

  477. Jacob says:

    @aliceS

    Glad to see you on the blog again. Yes, my username on the blog has changed due to blog server software glitch after someone else used a username very similar to my old one resulting in both blog accounts getting locked out by software partial string matching heuristics.

    Please feel free to ask any question. If it is of personal nature, please feel free to email me at NESunShineSD at gmail dot com.

  478. RSD says:

    My new SB is awesome–smart, educated, charming, and beautiful. Date #2 went perfectly, couldn’t ask for anything more. Date #3 is tomorrow.

    She did stump with me one question though: “Do you bore of girls easily?” I think the answer evolved from, “No, I’ve been with one SB for four years,” to, “Well, sometimes.” The question got me thinking of why I bore of some SBs but not of others. It seems like the SBs who are airheads and can’t establish any mental connection with me are the ones I bore of. The ones whom I’d date IRL (educated, hard-working, ambitious, charming, and attractive) and who can make a mental connection, I don’t bore of.

  479. RSD says:

    I think if people are getting different rates of interest in meeting, they’re somehow selecting differently. SA seems more inundated with 18-20 year olds now, and they can be fairly clueless and tactless. Like the one who showed up 82 min late and then cancelled when I wanted to meet just to give her tuition money with no expectations in return. She was then upset that I didn’t want to reschedule her getting free money.

    If a meet doesn’t happen within a few days (a week or two max), then it’s not meant to be. There are so many choices, just move on to the next one.

  480. Nicegirl says:

    I have never had a date cancel or not show. I have had them show and then I find that they have misrepresented themselves. I would have rather they didn’t show to be honest.

  481. Nicegirl says:

    @ygbkm, If you have not exchanged multiple pics don’t wait 2 months to meet. If he is not open with pics… more than one and recent I am afraid you are going to waist 2 months of chatting and feeling like you know this person to only be hugely let down. I did this very same thing, he did show me one pic (he claimed that he hated taking selfies so I didn’t argue) but when we met face to face I didn’t even recognize him. He came up to me because I had no idea that he was even there. It truly was a terrible meeting because online we had such chemistry but then I felt scammed in a way but was still polite, had a drink and politely left. IT WAS VERY AWKWARD. If a man or woman has nothing to hide they will be very open with pictures and anything being asked – within reason of course – before meeting.

  482. seasonschange says:

    To me when that happens it just means they’re fakes who couldn’t even afford a dinner lol

  483. seasonschange says:

    As a SB I actually have a lot of problems with men wanting to text, email and ask for pictures infinitely but they never actually want to meet or they’ll set a date and either never show up or bail the night before so it works both ways.

  484. VAGent says:

    Yougottabe–as an experienced SD who posts as ‘negotiable’, I always ask a newbie (or otherwise undeclared) what her expectations are, and simultaneously ask if they’d prefer me to make an initial offer (with my expectations laud out in gory detail). Some think I’m lowballing, some think it’s great, everyone knows what’s on the table.

  485. Alexis says:

    “I asked her what the actor said to her as she was pinned against the wall.

    “I don’t know, he spoke in Japanese,” she said. “But he is beautiful.” ”

    FP, help us all.

  486. “NC Gent says:
    September 24, 2014 at 12:07 pm
    Yougotta — I don’t think it is just you. When I first started sugar dating, things proceeded pretty quickly to meeting, usually within 2 weeks. More recently, it seems like most SBs are reluctant to meet, even if it is just for coffee or lunch. Some of my single friends on traditional dating sites lamented over the same thing – people want to talk and text but never meet… anyone else experiencing this?”

    I’m not reluctant to meet. It’s more the follow through after meeting. Not quite sure how to do it. Well, I mean…I know how to DO it…but I don’t know how to transition to doing it :/.

    I guess I’m just not into all of the rules and gaming and guessing and anticipating and conniving. And I’m definitely not comfortable with initiating discussion of allowance. I should share that my experiences so far have been with men who are relatively inexperienced in the sugar arena. Most of their budgets have been “negotiable”. The negotiable budget initially appealed to me more than the other options, but ultimately I find that it involves too much guessing, and draws out the intermission phase. Perhaps two inexperienced people don’t make for the best sugarmates? I’d imagine that an arrangement with a more seasoned gentleman would progress (or not) a bit quicker, which Id prefer to an extended lull after initial attraction has already been established.

    My experience in traditional relationships (though I wouldn’t necessarily consider my relationships traditional) has been that my partner shared without my asking. I was always told that if I ever needed anything, not to hesitate to ask. I always hesitate to ask, and if I do ask, it’s because I really do need help, and my partner (regardless of our status) has never hesitated. A former partner who is now my life friend, Id say, lives a ways away, and has a long distance relationship with a sweet lady he met when he still lived in town (he does see other people there locally). His lovely lady is actually a bit older than him…he’s in his late 20s, she early 40s. He adores her, and she him, so out of respect for her and proximity of our friendship, he and I don’t sleep together. She’s been very sweet and welcoming of our friendship, and has never tried to push me away. I’ve appreciated that. Anyway, he still shares with me in other ways, sends money to me without my asking, and brings me back gifts from his home country when he visits. It seems most natural, I think, to share freely with someone you enjoy and care about.

    The guy Ive been talking with on the site most recently is unable to meet with me for a couple of months. Says he wants to take care of me in the meantime, though. We’ve not exchanged pictures, but have exchanged some emails and talked a bit over the phone. Id rather meet sooner than 2 months. I do agree with nicegirl that extending the time before a meet makes it more difficult or awkward (and perhaps more disappointing) to cut things off if the chemistry doesn’t translate.

  487. DorkyGuy says:

    Flyr outdates a lot of men.

    Completely off-topic, but evidently Japanese women are just as weird as Japanese men when it comes to sex and technology

    [img]http://www.wired.com/2014/09/love-sex-tokyo-game-show/[/img]

  488. VAGent says:

    Talkers titillation without contact. Yeaaahhh, get that a lot. Honestly, sometimes it’s fun. And, god forbid, if suddenly one day they suddenly screw up the nerve to…well…screw, BAM! lookout. Poor little girl had no idea her head might explode from all the built up titillation and anticipation.

  489. VAGent says:

    AliceS–I am new old. I have been on SA and posting on blog for years–but only intermittently. And Flyr outdates me.

  490. Elaine says:

    @ Hi Alice, how is life?

    Sunshine is called Jacob now! :-)

  491. aliceS says:

    And my ice daddy disappeared as well from here 😉 where oh where are you ice daddy?

  492. aliceS says:

    Gentle(man) well I am looking specifically for sunshine sd. Hm.. and old new ones I don’t know. We’ll I know you and flyr but the rest is unknown to me

  493. gentle(man)soul says:

    aliceS says:

    There’s a bunch of new people. Where is everybody old*?

    The new people ARE the old people LOL .It depends on your perspective Alice

  494. FlyR says:

    My experience is somewhat the opposite in that more are ready to meet if there is interest

  495. FlyR says:

    Talk and text but never meet. Tirekickers looking for titilation without contact

  496. Alexis says:

    “It’s not that I’ve not been interested or motivated, but rather put off, I guess, by the varying realities amix he sugar bowl.

    Initiating meeting isn’t as much the issue for me as the follow through which I think has more to do with my own transition from traditional dating to sugar dating.”

    Very honest and earnest post right there. Nice one ygbkm.

  497. Nicegirl says:

    Gentle “Only ? lol Rinsing is theft any way you look at it-grand theft vagina.”

    lol “grand theft vagina” too funny but yes I suppose that is what it is!

  498. aliceS says:

    If you are still here of course. There’s a bunch of new people. Where is everybody old*?

  499. aliceS says:

    SunshineSD Can i ask you a question?

  500. Alexis says:

    “people want to talk and text but never meet… anyone else experiencing this?”

    With (non-SB) girls, YES… and how irritating of a time waster!
    Guys no, they are always in a rush to meet, so different.

  501. gentle(man)soul says:

    Nicegirl says:

    @gentle… That sucks. sorry that happened to you :o(

    Thank you Sweetie !

    “I think the whole rinsing thing is terrible and limits who you will be able to meet if you are only a PTP SD.”

    Only ? lol Rinsing is theft any way you look at it-grand theft vagina. These Rinsers know that we aren’t going to make a fuss about it . Men on the down low are vulnerable because we do not want our hobby to become public knowledge.

  502. Nicegirl says:

    I should add that I think prostitution should be legal since it is your body to do with what you want anyway.

  503. Nicegirl says:

    I think the whole rinsing thing is terrible and limits who you will be able to meet if you are only a PTP SD. I personally think that is prostitution…. sorry but I do. I have never and would never take money from a man I had no interest in. However, I don’t accept an allowance either but at least that is less transactional than being paid for your “sex session”.

  504. VAGent says:

    On the how to initiate a first meeting? Ask for it!! If after a handful of email exchanges there seems to be a real interest, get the ball rolling. It usually takes a couple of days to find a mutually agreeable time, so still time for more email exchanges in the interim. I’ve been pleased that it’s the SBs in my most recent (successful–see above) contacts who have asked for meetings to see if things worth pursuing.

  505. gentle(man)soul says:

    VAGent says:

    Gentle(man)soul–In starting, I don’t agree to an allowance until after several good dates

    Amen my brother ! For those who know me I am the PTP King for this very reason. Never again !

    R says:

    Rinsing? Or you know, she didn’t like what she saw after that hotel date and did the fade out on you.

    true ,it could’ve been . Although we discussed the incompatible schedules before but she did the fade out without saying Boo. No class which fooled me .

    This is the blog topic from before . When you leave an arrangement -say goodbye and why . Probably she liked the money and didn’t want to return it-or inconvenience herself to make good on it .

  506. NC Gent says:

    yeah — different one — I actually think he used VA Gent with a space :)

  507. VAGent says:

    I suspect I might be a different VAGent… I believe there might be another. I only post from time to time–last on here in Summer 2013. BUT, I do recognize NCGent!

  508. NC Gent says:

    R – if that was the case, perhaps she was obligated to tell him something like it wasn’t going to work out and return some of the money? Why play games if she wasn’t rinsing him?

  509. DorkyGuy says:

    @VA Gent~ Hey, long time no see!

    @Angela~ Based on comments above, this article appears to have resonated!

  510. R says:

    Rinsing? Or you know, she didn’t like what she saw after that hotel date and did the fade out on you.

  511. NC Gent says:

    Heya VaGent — good to see you here again, my neighbor to the north. I suspected it wasn’t just me having issues.

  512. VAGent says:

    Gentle(man)soul–In starting, I don’t agree to an allowance until after several good dates where attraction, maturity and responsibility have been proven. I’ll lay it out ahead of time, but the first 2-3 meetings are P2P, then go to weekly, then biweekly. I don’t go beyond bi-weekly, although I have agreed to advances with ladies I know I can trust. Got burned a few times before, but don’t let it happen now.

  513. Nicegirl says:

    @gentle… That sucks. sorry that happened to you :o(

  514. gentle(man)soul says:

    @!Kickstarting :

    I can identify with ” Be Available”

    My is very limited ,so I need an SB who has an open schedule to accommodate my needs .

    AN example is a Pot I fell in like with from her profile,picture ,and subsequent emails and texts . We met ,and I was smitten .She was everything I had been looking for -beautiful ,sexy, good company,apparently smart . We had date #2 in a hotel and things went well . I was more in lust than ever . The problem came later . She was never available when I was . I readily agreed to a monthly allowance which I paid but we only saw each other twice when the agreement was 4 times that month,and this was a 5 week month . Was it by accident or a planned rinsing ? I offered week to week (the dreaded PTP) and I never even heard back . So I guess it was a rinsing after all .

    So the point is to make sure the schedules work ,even if the attraction is there .

  515. VAGent says:

    I’ve had a hell of a time getting young ladies to meet recently. I’m the real deal, experienced (sugaring since 2003), a reasonably attractive package, say what I mean, mean what I say, show up when I say I will and deliver on my commitments. It seems that some ladies are ok emailing or texting back and forth, but chicken out when we try to set a date. Or–worse–set a date, and then in under 24 hours say–‘Oh, I forgot about this party I’m supposed to go to! Can we reschedule?’. Grrrrrrr…

  516. Nicegirl says:

    I have found that the longer you text or email the more difficult it is to say no if you are not attracted to the person when you meet. I have had situations where we email so much that I really feel like I know them so well but then meet them in person and they are nothing like their pics and emails. Then that makes for an awkward goodbye. I like to meet if I think there is an attraction sooner than later.

  517. NC Gent says:

    Yougotta — I don’t think it is just you. When I first started sugar dating, things proceeded pretty quickly to meeting, usually within 2 weeks. More recently, it seems like most SBs are reluctant to meet, even if it is just for coffee or lunch. Some of my single friends on traditional dating sites lamented over the same thing – people want to talk and text but never meet… anyone else experiencing this?

  518. “Last but certainly not least of this advice to getting a kickstart on potentials is attitude! Your outlook on Sugaring will dictate your success. If you’re going to be lazy and complacent, you won’t get anywhere. But be a go-getter, and your life is about to get sweeter.”

    I’m totally guilty of complacency when it comes to pursuit of sugar. I suppose that a little more consistency an initiative on my part would yield better results than the “meh” attitude Ive mostly had.

    It’s not that I’ve not been interested or motivated, but rather put off, I guess, by the varying realities amix he sugar bowl.

    Initiating meeting isn’t as much the issue for me as the follow through which I think has more to do with my own transition from traditional dating to sugar dating.

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