4 years ago
Misconceptions in Sugar Dating

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Welcome back Sugars. I hope everyone thoroughly enjoyed the Labor Day weekend. Little bit of an update from our side of things: SD Guru dropped by the Las Vegas office last week! It is always a learning experience and a pleasure to speak with contributing members of the community. Which brings me to our topic of the day; Misconceptions in Sugar Dating.

Short First Meetings

“A Sugar Daddy invited me to meet for coffee as our first meeting. Should that be a red flag?”

Not necessarily. Sugar Daddies are business men. Why would a business man commit more than 20 minutes to an hour of his time when first being presented a new investment? You should view this in the same light. The first meeting is to measure chemistry and to “check out the product” a.k.a. to prevent getting “Catfished”.

Money Talk is Taboo

“I’ve heard through blogs and other SBs that SDs get turned off when you bring up money.”

Every person is different when it comes to this. As a rule of thumb, Sugar Daddies know what their end of a mutually beneficial arrangement entails. If one have develops a bad attitude when you try to discuss allowance, know that you are probably being played. Reply kindly with something like, “I enjoyed spending time together, but I am looking for an arrangement that involves financial assistance as this time.”

SB Privacy Is Less Sensitive

“These men sometimes have high profile jobs which is why they can’t tell us their real names for the first few meetings. Since a Sugar Baby usually don’t, then we should give more information freely.”

Trust is the main building block in any relationship. Without it, you have nothing. If you are looking to verify each other (if not already through the site), then agree on what information to exchange in order to do so.

What are other myths in Sugar?

Do you have any that you would like get cleared up? Share them with us!

Leave a Reply

233 Responses to “Misconceptions in Sugar Dating”

  1. Candy says:

    I like to chat a little bit about the allowance before agreeing to meet just to make sure we are on the same page. I think that potential SDs appreciate that because we are making sure we don’t waste each others time. withsomesugarontop.com

  2. 095 says:

    allnaturis.com students videos gulya virgin muslim girl posing first time hymen broken finger ls club

  3. SugarD says:

    sexysally,

    I suppose it’d be best to discuss all the details before hand. I always think that first date is to decide whether to proceed with SD SB relationship. It doesn’t mean there should be no intimacy, but if there is to be intimacy SB should be paid accordingly. At the same time, SB needs to understand, sex is part of the package, and that SD would want to find out the sexual side of the thing would be great also.

  4. NewSB says:

    Hi All! Good Morning!
    I’m new to the world of sugar, and I just found out about this blog! Please help me with the following situation: I met my SD in person at an event, hence, we never talked about what we both expect out of this relationship. I have known my SD for a month, went on our first date last weekend (on which he purchased MK’s flats and 1100 handbag for me) had dinner and in the morning treated me to a half day at Bliss spa. We are going to see each other next weekend, and I wanted advice on how to bring up what I want without being tacky, a turn off or aggressive. I want him to give me money to go shopping on 5th ave, and preferably a nice allowance monthly. How do I go about this?

  5. sexysally says:

    Here’s my question if on the 1st meeting things go well what’s with the whole sleeping on the 1’st night to see if everything is official with these SD’s? I’ve met some pretty amazing guys got along great like we’ve known each other forever but on the 1st night they need to have sex? I don’t get that and not put out any type of money or a gift. To me that’s a red flag because so to say we had sex and then I get nothing but they get a free lay i just can’t deal with the odds. How to switch things up for a newbie SB to get what I want before having sex with my SD. I’m all down for wild sex but I need to see something before i can give that up and be played in the end of things especially when they travel frequently whose to say I’ll ever see them again.

    Any thoughts or suggestions on this

  6. SugarD says:

    It seems that there is a lot of misconception among SBs that Sugar dating isn’t about sex. There seem to be a lot of profiles more so recently that basically says “sponsor me to succeed in life and I’ll give you nothing in return” or in the lines of “I’ll keep your wallet open and my legs closed”

  7. Zack says:

    don’t mind me while I giggle. Red Jello ™ to-nite!

  8. sweetie says:

    Hehehe, thought so!

  9. DorkyGuy says:

    Thanks sweetie! Another helpful suggestion… For some reason, I get better results when the penis pic is of someone else’s penis.

  10. Zack says:

    One trick is playing 60 chess matches per second. I’m confident there are others. Deal with it, lol

  11. sweetie says:

    Dorky, you’re one suave guy!

  12. Zack says:

    Gah. Y doo U half 2B sew Frustrating!!!!?

  13. DorkyGuy says:

    Zack, if it feels like you are talking to yourself, it’s because when a new blog post is made, people tend to move their conversation to the new blog topic. Most people don’t come back to old topics to read the comments.

    The first email to a SB is just like approaching a girl in real life. Let your natural charm flow through. You wouldn’t approach a girl on the street and ask if she’s a scam, would you?

    I always have great success with something like “Wow, nice tits, honka honka! Duz the carpet match the drapes?”. I also include a penis pic, and that usually seals the deal.

  14. Zack says:

    (note to self…if it feels like I’m talking to myself or to my (separated, someday to be ex-) wife, it is also a Bad Sign.)

  15. Zack says:

    Somebody slow me down if I’m acting like an idiot. Really, please, but today is not a Carpenters day.
    ——
    A Hint: any angry first reply from a contact is a Bad Sign…. ie:
    ————–snip—————-
    You are a fucking idiot. How does my profile have ‘scam’ written all over it? This is my real picture jerk.

    ……..
    This is not a good way for a conversation to get to, “Let me count the ways….”

  16. Zack says:

    ooh, ooh, I got an idea, lol…. please comment and criticize the following as an initial SD email to a really smokin’ profile:
    ————snip————-
    I just skimmed your profile, and it seems too good to be true.

    Would you like to talk?

    If you are real, we should. If you are a scammer, it would be best for us both in the long run if we didn’t. Lol.

    Zack

  17. Zack says:

    OK…so, what do -You- do when:

    1) You find yourself thinking, “I’m wonderful, why isn’t this going anywhere?”

    or,

    2) a scammer says:

    5:12 AM (4 hours ago)

    to me
    your gonna feel so stupid

    Date: Mon, 16 Sep 2013 04:51:27 -0400

  18. Zack says:

    Maybe it could be generally said that in a two party system, one entity testing marriage whilst another tests for trust creates a dissonance that potentially leads to something like “necessary evil,” at least until a common, steady state frame of reference is established. 😛

  19. Zack says:

    Perhaps, trust is fundamental to a relationship whereas love is necessary for a marriage. I should possibly consider essential differences here, it seems…consistent.

  20. Zack says:

    It’ll wait.

  21. Exotic SB says:

    “Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I’ll meet you there.”

    Rumi

  22. Zack says:

    Well, I’m glad that worked out and, whew, ty the new blog for taking off a bit of pressure, lol. My schedule is filling up, but I’m happily getting caught up in the blog’s darker twists.

    I trust the blog is in capable hands and eagerly anticipate decrypting Don’s once obscure wisdom, as I can. It’s a trip.

    ttyl, once I’m more on top.
    –snip–
    wait… I read the blog… and the topic turns to the essence of love???

    Depending on the day, my opinion of love is either informed by Tina Turner, Carpenters, Marvin Gaye, or Charlie Sheen. Today is a Carpenters day.

  23. Zack says:

    I definitely understand that,.

  24. DorkyGuy says:

    “Spoken like somebody with some questions, dude!”

    I have a zillion questions! However, I am pretty certain none of them have answers in mysticism. Well, maybe my questions related to understanding women can be found in mysticism. I can’t fully rule that out.

  25. Zack says:

    btw, I’m not 100% sure what sudoku is, but I love your image, lol.

  26. Zack says:

    Even the “Theory of Evolution”, the “Theory of Relativity” are still called “theory”, not “law”, because scientists are not arrogant enough to claim that they have proven them 100%…..
    –snip–
    Spoken like somebody with some questions, dude!

    Are you interested in ideas like cycles, systems and self selection?

    Perspectives? Angels? Dimensions? Directions?

    Strong stuff.

  27. onyx_percula says:

    @ gtt_envy and Beach_Girl — I agree with gtt, but would clarify by saying, its about consistent communications, frequency if you will. So if you and your sugar txt, email, call at least every Mon, Wens, and Fri and suddenly that stops, its likely the right conclusion that its over.

    In this specific case we were emailing, txt’ing or talking multiple times a day. It was two sided, sometimes she would start, sometimes I would. I haven’t heard a peep from her since confessions of “feeling like a pro” since Monday. I have reached out every day, with no response with the exception of today. She needs to focus this morning on work.

    Oh well over to the new blog…

  28. FatBastardSD says:

    @Don Amore

    Just post a link to the book or seminar that you are trying to sell and stop posting your crap. It gets in the way of discussing important topics like how much cheaper it is to get a blowjob from a third world hooker as opposed to a SLUTty SB :-).

  29. DorkyGuy says:

    Don, spoken like someone who doesn’t have the faintest clue how science works!

    Science demands rigor and testing. For something to be called a “Law”, it has to pass extremely high bars of testing, retesting, laboratory experimentation, and observation over many years, and must never have an exception. Even the “Theory of Evolution”, the “Theory of Relativity” are still called “theory”, not “law”, because scientists are not arrogant enough to claim that they have proven them 100%.

    But you toss around “Law of this” and “Law of that” like it’s nothing. There is no scientific method. No rigor. No methodical testing. No reproducible experimentation. No measurement. Just an echo chamber of things that sound good, that people want to believe, so they call them laws.

    If the philosophers who likely dominate your reading list had any real insight into human nature, they would have enough self-awareness to recognize that any community is vulnerable to “groupthink” fallacies, and build ways of testing whether their “laws” are unduly influenced by groupthink.

    As it is, the entire “Laws of the Universe” culture appears to be one massive exercise in groupthink, without any of the requisite skepticism that is fundamental to scientific methodology.

    What they are doing has as much to do with real science as the Tooth Fairy has to dentistry.

    There actually is a reputable field of study that attempts to investigate interpersonal relationships with scientific rigor. It is called “psychology”. Guess what… Psychologists don’t pretend that there are “Laws” that govern human relationships. The moment a psychologist tried to declare a “Law” of human behavior, it would not pass peer review, because it would be shot down in the first day due to exceptions being found. The best that they can do is make broad categorizations and generalities.

    I recommend a book like “Researching Interpersonal Relationships: Qualitative Methods, Studies, and Analysis”. If you take nothing else from the book, maybe it would give you a blueprint for how to conduct a study to prove or disprove your theories, rather than relying on “it must be this way” or anecdotes.

  30. Beach_Girl says:

    Again a huge Thunder storm here tonight… omg, the light show is crazy right now!!!

  31. Beach_Girl says:

    Don~ hahah outer limits, that’s a show I haven’t hear of in a while lol

  32. Beach_Girl says:

    Don~ Bullies could push my buttons, I chose not to let them… I can get nasty like the rest of them, I just think its a waste of time a little… but I have my moments 😀
    I know if I go out with a bad attitude or angry everything goes wrong … I hope i’m not a bully 😀 I think I might be if pushed but it would be angry more than anything…

    about humans being the problem, I think greed is a huge factor… a convo not for the blog.. just saying… GasLand… omg!

  33. Don Amore says:

    @Everyone… Time to enter into The Outer Limits…

  34. Don Amore says:

    @Beach Girl… You are obviously having beautiful thoughts, so bullies can not “push your buttons”… Again, congrats!!!

  35. Don Amore says:

    @Beach Girl… BTW, the fact that you do not have to deal with a bully is because you are not a bully, so congrats!!! From within, so without… Your outer world is a manifestation of your inner world… To prove this, then just go out into the street with a bad attitude towards everyone and see if they smile at you… Probably not unless they have more confidence in you than you have in yourself which would only happen if you met an enlightened being who is above and in control of his emotional pain from his past experiences… Your world is a reflection of your inner most, subconscious thoughts… we are our own worst enemies… we are the problem!!! There are no problems in this world except for the problems that we humans have made!!! The water, air, soil, and animals, insects, and fish do not make problems!!! We do!!!

  36. Beach_Girl says:

    Don Amore~ I guess…not sure I like the yelling at people lol, tough love type thing… I wouldn’t like that at all… like a drill Sargent, boot camp type… that wouldn’t be good, I can be reactive to that…

  37. Don Amore says:

    Hi Beach Girl… I did not say to punch the bully in the face because you were angry… The bully just needs to be given a taste of his own medicine, so he can wake-up to the reality that he is hurting people… A coach yells at his players not because he is angry, but because he loves them… Confrontation is not necessarily anger… You confront because it is the loving things to do! Tough Love is Tough… Love is a job… It is hard work to wake-up the bully!!!

  38. Don Amore says:

    Hi Dork Guy… (1) Looks like we will need to define some terms. I have given you my definition of Love = Mutual Respect. This is the simplest definition that I can think of. So, what is your definition? (2) For the record, I am saying that the Laws of Physics can be applied to both the Physical World, the Emotional World, the Mental World, and that these Laws are actually manifestations of Laws of the Spiritual Worlds. As above, so below. All physical things were once a thought, and the thought was once a postulate from you as Soul. I am not quoting new-age non-sense. There must be an “essence” from which our physical life manifests, and that essence is ourselves as Soul (or whatever you wish to call ourselves as immortal beings). (3) For the record, The Law of Postulates must be real, otherwise you could not change your thoughts, and therefore your Physical World. What would be the purpose of living if we cannot change our thoughts and thrfr our life? The Law of Cause and Effect is a physical law, an emotional law, a mental law, a spiritual law. Are you saying that you cannot change your world? With an aggressive Mental Body such as yours, then I can not believe that!!! Furthermore, are you saying that you cannot change the vibration in a room simply by acting differently? I don’t believe you! You are much too powerful to let other vibrations control you! Just look at the Energy that you are sending me! Come on now! Give me a break? You can’t possibly believe that you have no power to change the vibration (tone) of someone whom you love?!!! Are you telling me that if your wife is upset, then you cannot calm her down by some gentle emotional vibration emanating from yourself?!!! Give me a break!!!

  39. Beach_Girl says:

    Don Amore~ I have never been bullied or had that happen around me, I guess it’s just my opinion but when you get angry at a bully wouldn’t the get off on getting you upset and get them more angry? isn’t that how spouses get killed? they try and stand up to the bully with anger but it doesn’t work?
    I was raised here, MTL, I lived in Cali for a while and still didn’t see it. I may be naive a little, I always thing the best of people!

    Dorky ~ 😀

  40. Don Amore says:

    Hi Beach Girl… Let me elaborate… Punching the bully in the face would translate (to the bully) that a strong attitude has now developed within you. However, you could certainly have a strong attitude anyway, and never be involved with a bully. For example, walking away with supreme confidence might also work. However, confronting the bully, wife beater, drug dealer, etc. always works because from The law of Vibration, then you would out-vibrate the bully since he is really a coward anyway and afraid of confrontation. Remember also that I was raised in NYC, and it’s as rough as it is beautiful! But yes, other techs can work just as well as long as your attitude is confident. And yes, you’re feisty-ness is attractive! Muse on!

  41. DorkyGuy says:

    Ok, point by point…

    “My definition of Love = Mutual Respect”. That seems a rather cynical and limited view on love. If mutual respect were the definition of love, I would have to marry all of my coworkers.

    “Emotions are not permanent and therefore not real. My definition of Real = Permanent Concepts or Permanent Actions”. So if something isn’t permanent then it isn’t real? I can cheat on my wife, and if she complains, I can tell her it wasn’t permanent and therefore not real. Brilliant! And deluded. You do realize that there is nothing in the universe that is permanent, even the universe itself, so by your definition, that makes everything not real? I am not permanent. I am going to die one day. But the fact that I am temporal does not make me any less real. “reality” has nothing to do with spans of time, but rather with something exists in a moment in time. I may not love someone in this moment in time, but that doesn’t mean that my love was never real.

    “(2) The Law of Vibration (Physics, not opinion!) dictates that a permanent vibration will eventually override an impermanent (temporary) vibration”.

    Agh, this kind of statement makes me want to claw my eyes out. I actually study quantum physics as a hobby, and I know a little bit about physics. Physicists don’t use the term “Law of Vibration”. That is a term created by new age charlatans. Google search it… and find for me a single instance of it being used by a physicist. I tried, and all I get are page after page of universal consciousness and wealthbuilding websites. If it’s a fundamental law of physics, you would think there would be a Wikipedia article on it, wouldn’t you? The fact that there isn’t is a glaring oversight! i suppose you could create one, but you would have a real problem trying to provide reputable citations.

    Even if the “Law of Vibration” were an actual physical law, it is really stupid to apply laws that govern physics to human relationships. Human relationships are driven by [u]free will[/u], not physics. If you get to say that one physical law governs relationships, then the rest of the physical laws must as well! I would suggest that the 2nd Law of Thermodynamics also applies, which means that all of your love relationships will eventually devolve to their greatest level of entropy, and become so diluted as to have no meaning. The Conservation laws would also apply, such that in order for you to love someone, someone else would have to hate in equal measure, so the love energy in the system remains constant. What about Neuton’s Law of Universal Gravitation? Shouldn’t everyone be attracted to everyone else by exactly a fixed calculable amount, proportional to their mass? Shouldn’t fat people have the easiest time finding partners? I am sure you have some nutty rationale why those [u]real[/u] laws of physics don’t apply, but your imaginary laws do.

    Physics does not have a “Law of Postulates”. It doesn’t even have a “Law of Relativity”. There is a “Theory of Relativity”, but it doesn’t bear any resemblance to your “Law of Relativity”.

    If you want to state that your “Laws” are based in new age existentialism, or philosophy, I don’t have a problem with that. There is value in philosophical thinking. But please, don’t claim they are physics.

  42. Beach_Girl says:

    ExoticSB see you on the new blog 😀

  43. Exotic SB says:

    @Don Amore ~ have you written a book?? 😉

    @Beach ~ hello lady!

    @gtt_envy ~ connection is sooo important!

    New Blog! :)

  44. Beach_Girl says:

    Don Amore~ 😀 I actually don’t agree with the bully analogy punch a bully in the face and he will stop, you can not control someone, you can only controle yourself… and I don’t think bullies would try anything on someone that has a strong attitude (not sure the word here, I know it in french lol ) they go after the weak person so they can feel more powerful. Bullies are full of fears, hate towards themselves etc… I think punching a bully would just make them go off more.. that’s just me… still think i’m a muse? 😀

  45. Don Amore says:

    Hey Beach Girl… I love your enthusiasm! You’re becoming my muse!

  46. Don Amore says:

    @Beach Girl, Exotic SB… Yes, let’s keep brain-storming… I really love sharing with both of you…
    @Genuine SD… Great analyses…
    @Everyone… The Law of Cause and Effect is immutable (long-term), but you can temporarily override it (short-term) with The Law of Postulates, and The Law of Vibration… Furthermore, you can postulate a new cause whenever you wish, so each of us is responsible for our own future via the choices (postulates) that we make in present-time… However, I am not saying that we can “control” other people (who may be bullying us)… We can only control our own present-time postulates which may result in releasing us from our present-time problems… For example, we could punch the bully in the face, and break his nose, and I bet you a million dollars that he will not be bullying anyone without thinking twice about it (specifically because you stopped his postulate that you are a weakling who deserves to be bullied)… And you eliminated your postulate that you are a weakling who deserves to be bullied!!! Meanwhile, I am not interested in convincing anyone of the validity of these Laws… I am just stating easily observable and testable facts about The Natural Laws of this Universe… The Law of Cause and Effect controls our destiny… Our “karma” is simply the results of our previous actions… However, you must accept the concept of reincarnation if you are to accept the concept of karma (which was not created in this lifetime)…
    @Guru…

  47. Beach_Girl says:

    gtt_envy~ I think talking to a SD or texting is ok, but not all the time, it would drive me nutty!

    Don Amore~ oufff… that’s a lot there, power of love!

  48. Don Amore says:

    @ Everyone – WOW! So many interesting insights have been posted since last night! It’s nice to see everyone being real. Meanwhile, let me clarify a few points: (1) My definition of Love = Mutual Respect, so I am not talking about an emotion. Emotions are not permanent and therefore not real. My definition of Real = Permanent Concepts or Permanent Actions. (2) The Law of Vibration (Physics, not opinion!) dictates that a permanent vibration will eventually override an impermanent (temporary) vibration, and so my statement “If you can Love someone greater (and I will now add “for a longer time”) than they can un-Love you, then they will eventually Love you (give you mutually beneficial respect)” still holds true. (3) However, someone who does not “believe” (consciously follow) The Law of Vibration can (temporarily) side-step The Law of Vibration because their vibration is temporarily over-riding The Law of Vibration Itself. This new activity is called The Law of Postulates. The Law of Postulates gives Soul the power of a new creation, so a person acting within the bounds of The Law of Postulates can postulate anything, and find others who “believe” (live by) his new postulate (right or wrong). The problem on Earth is two fold: (1) The Law of Absolutes (LOA), (2) The Law of Relativity (LOR). The LOAs states that there are 3 things which are real regardless of a temporary postulate: Infinity (God), Soul (the real you), Energy (your reciprocal flow of consciousness). The LORs states that all other things, thoughts, actions are present-time and temporary, and therefore are not actually “real” (do not last). How could anything that does not last be real? If it can be here one minute and gone the next minute, then how can it be trusted? Well, it can’t be trusted because it is not immortal (in its present form). This is why we value long-term relationships because they are more permanent and thrfr more “real” than short-term relationships (in which we do not know whether or not the “contract” will be fulfilled as originally agreed!)

  49. gtt_envy says:

    @onyx, communication is key! One part communication and one part physical excellence equals a great SB.

    IMO< the minute communication dies down it's over if I wanted to talk to you every other day and bang you ever other week I'd find a escort.

    I've always talked to every SB I have ever had daily! Well, text not actually talk.

  50. Onyx_Percula says:

    @ the thought has crossed my mind. She is in LA for her audition so I will chill till is all over with before getting to bottom of it.

  51. Zack says:

    Oh, and for what it might be worth, time matters, too.

  52. Zack says:

    Sounds like drama to me, but this blog seems to be moving too fast to read, nm actually 2 follow.

    So at the risk of missing (some, I guess) points, I’d like to suggest that it should always be possible to hang a left turn and find a third option, at least I hope so. Also, I know money changes -me-, but I like it, lol.

  53. SugarySpicey says:

    The other thing to note, Dorky, Don et al is that love (as an emotion) and loving (as a verb) are different animals. A person can love, emotionally while also doing great harm. Unfortunately, sometimes we hurt most those who we love – regardless of our intention.

  54. DorkyGuy says:

    @Exotic~ I agree that self-love is not only important, but essential! That isn’t what he is saying though.

    “The fact is that if you can possibly Love greater than someone can un-Love you, then they will eventually Love you.”

    If he were to have qualified it as “healthy” people, he would still be wrong, but at least it wouldn’t be a harmful statement for someone in a bad situation to read.

  55. Exotic SB says:

    @Dorky ~ working with abused women myself, I would have to say it has EVERYTHING to do with valuing SELF, rather than placing value on any partner, or anything else outside of self. Once one values themselves (loves themselves) then they will draw better and more empowering boundaries. Until they utilize self love, they will not know how to do this.And they will attract people into their lives that also reflect the lack of love to them. In most of the situations I have assisted with, these women are already beating themselves up INSIDE and not telling anyone about it….and truly – it comes down to universal principles – as within, so without…

    But this is a SUGAR BLOG – all stuff sweet and sugary. We can respectfully express ourselves and agree to disagree with tact, if that is the case! :)

  56. DorkyGuy says:

    “Remember, Love is Love. It is not anything else. The Law of Cause and Effect is the main Law of Success. If you Love (the Cause), then the Effect is Love. Be Cause, not Effect. The fact is that if you can possibly Love greater than someone can un-Love you, then they will eventually Love you. Your problem is not whether or not there is Love around you, but whether or not there is Love inside of you!” ~ Don Amore

    This is one of the stupidest, most naïve things I have read in a long time. Tell this to the woman whose husband beats her, or the kid who has an alcoholic parent. Your husband beats you? Your kid steals from you to pay for his heroin addiction? Your dad smacks you around? It’s not his fault… it’s your fault for not loving him enough!

    Ignorant. All I can figure is that someone has enjoyed a pretty privileged and sheltered life. No imaginary cosmic rules can negate the fact that people exercise free will, and sometimes they choose not to love you. Ask any guy who is stuck in the friend zone, and he’ll clear up the error in this thinking.

    • SD Guru says:

      @Omyx (or is it Onyx) Percula
      “She feels like a pro can get the guilty feelings out of her head. It’s looking like this “perfect” SB. Nope.”

      Can I call you Nemo?? :mrgreen:

      Let me see if I got this right… she hits you up for help last week, you provided the help, then you gave her the allowance and “consummated” the arrangement, although you described it as mostly just dessert at the Y. And now she’s having second thoughts. Am I the only one with my scammer radar on?

      @Spicey
      “I’m crazy about him, but he’s not good for me.”

      Therein lies the problem. When it comes to matters of the heart, knowing what you should do and actually doing it are totally different things.

  57. SugarySpicey says:

    Treasured – Here’s the story:

    Met him on SA, instant connection – soul mate shit like I’ve never felt. It instantly became spend every second together, but not nights – Cindarella always had to get home from the ball. So, although we’ve spent a lot of breakfasts, lunches, dinners, and lazy stolen afternoons together, only 2 nights (ever) and never so much uninterrupted time – or traveling together.

    I really am hoping that Exotic Spice (thanks Exotic, love the new name) comes home from Bali with one fewer point in my love triangle. I’m crazy about him, but he’s not good for me.

  58. GenuineSD says:

    @Beach
    You’ve got mail

  59. GenuineSD says:

    @ Treasured. I agree with you. Best arrangements are always great relationships too.
    To be sure the partners have to define appropriate boundaries, but it is a relationship nonetheless.

  60. Exotic SB says:

    @Treasured & Spice ~ BOTH of you sugars enjoy your travels xo

    @DorkyGuy ~ *waving*

  61. DorkyGuy says:

    wait… I read the blog… and the topic turns to the essence of love???

    Depending on the day, my opinion of love is either informed by Tina Turner, Carpenters, Marvin Gaye, or Charlie Sheen. Today is a Carpenters day.

  62. Treasured says:

    And, to all the new and wondering…

    There is no thing as NSA RELATIONSHIP. It is like a “Low calorie chocolate cake” or “A little bit pregnant” or my latest favourite, from a shop assistant in Turkey “An authentic Turkish Chanel” 😀 😀 😀

    It is either NSA, or a relationship. But never combined. And… From experience… A SB/SD arrangement, if it is a good one, always is a relationship and not an NSA.

    NSA can be a one night stand, an escort whom you see regularly…
    Anything else – and there will be strings.

  63. Treasured says:

    Exotic, Spice is off to Bali, I am off to London 😀 With a beginning of the school year, with this one being the hardest one (as I was told) long haul is out of limits for now :(

    Spice… Sorry, you left me confused, I was off the blog for a while, so do not follow… Did you fell in love with a man from this site, whom you were together with only for a few times for a few days (if not just twice…?) And now he moved off to Bali and you were/still are going to visit now? I am confused….
    If so, Spice – you are waaaaay more romantic than I am 😀
    Chill about the whores – they all do it. Go to Bali – have fun! Not ready for marriage/babies – talk to him when you see him.
    Besides, 2 weeks vs 1-2 nights with someone can really be an eye opener :)

  64. Treasured says:

    Daddy reads this blog sometimes 😛 So I will stay quiet about love… 😛

    But, Spice, falling in love with a SD, when you are NOT looking for love can make your life really complicated.

  65. Omyx_Percula says:

    Wow I need to proof read better. Lol. That’s what I get for using the phone to post.

    Yes this is her first arrangement.

    Thanks Spicey. I will push that a bit more. I was kind of backing off anything sexy for fear of her getting worse. But you suggestion makes better sense.

    @ Spicey. So sorry dear. Sounds like you are getting pulled in all different directions.

  66. Exotic SB says:

    @Sugary ~ {{{HUGS}}} It can be such a delicate balance….ultimatums are NOT cool.

  67. SugarySpicey says:

    Following Treasured I will confess something, I fell in love – with a man I met on SA. Crazy, heart-racing, make stupid choices, run across the world to see him love. It does happen.

    I found a unicorn.

    But, I’d have been better off if it had stayed NSA. Now he’s talking marriage and babies and using the overabundance of 3rd World Whores as an ultimatum – move here, live with me, or I’ll fill my days with cheap replacements and break your heart.

    Sugar relationships can turn into love, but in this case it still isn’t happily ever after.

  68. Exotic SB says:

    @Onyx ~ Are you her first SD? Sorry, I may have missed it from previous chatter…..

    @Sugary – are you up to a Blog meetup?

    @Treasured – it is wonderful for you to share your perspective and all that you have learned through your experiences! That’s what it is about – keeping it REAL! Thanks so much for all of the energy you put into it! Oh – and have fun in Bali sugar sister!!!

  69. SugarySpicey says:

    Onyx – maybe she just doesn’t want you to think she’s a pro. Tell her how sexy you think it is, and how happy it makes you to take care of her. Set the lead that she isn’t a pro, and she will follow.

  70. Treasured says:

    Om – do you REALLY like her? Try to wow her back.

    If not and she is replaceable – time to move on.

    Life is simples – you always have at least two options. So you take one or the other. If you are lucky – there are more options, but then it gets complicated 😀

  71. Omyx_Percula says:

    Money changes everything apparently.

    So Sunday I completed an arrangement as I posted about. We did enjoy an intimate time after dinner mostly just desert at the Y nothing more.

    The whole I have been hearing “yes the money side of this isn’t a problem for.” I warned her more than once that it can mess with your head. Let find a way that is easy for you. Nope she insisted it wasn’t a problem. So I gave her the allowance at dinner.

    Fast forward to today. I find out way she slowed way down in communicating and was coming off distant. She feels like a pro can get the guilty feelings out of her head. It’s looking like this “perfect” SB. Nope.

    Well CRAP!

  72. Treasured says:

    Ok. To all SDs there.
    I will do one thing a SB should never ever do. Give you tips how to deal with potential and existing SBs.
    And blog SBs can shoot me. 😛

    SA. Pictures/profile. Too much photoshop? Only one picture? Anywhere in the profile being mentioned “princess and deserves to be spoiled”? Bad grammar (if English is her first language)? Move on to the next profile.

    A good SB, or at least a girl with a potential should certainly know what the fuck she is doing on here. So if she is just here to “look around” and “maybe try something” – she is not a SB.
    SB have goals. Usually goals which involve cash. Either straight to the bank account or in any other way (gifts, travel etc.). And girls with GOALS don’t waste time.

    Ok. You got past stage one. You found a profile which you like, and she responded. Now then. Next step – swapping emails and more pictures. Sorry, but if she doesn’t posses no-nudity 3 recent pictures, one preferably in a swimsuit (you do not want any surprises body wise at a later stage) – it is a no.

    You exchange pics, some additional info (in that additional info bonus points to girls, who tell shortly why exactly she needs the cash).

    Next step – Skype video call! We do not live in a desert. Besides, any claims that she does not have a computer or at least a phone with a camera should come as a red flag.
    DO bring up the allowance expectations during that first call. Any girl, who is not just a lazy cow, will not be meeting with you just for the fun of it. We ALL have things to do. I am on here to find a SD, not a boyfriend.
    Better tell HER honestly (having the info from her profile) how much you can give. If you hesitate, ask what would she expect (again, a girl with goals will tell you exactly what she is looking for, be it travel, student loan, bills or shopping for bags every once an a while).

    So, you talked, you like each other. She liked you, you liked her. ANY SERIOUS girl, after an initial Skype conversation, providing you BOTH liked each other – should be available to meet within a week.
    I am not saying overnight straight away, but ANYONE can spare 30 mins for a coffee. Dinner would be better.
    DO choose the restaurant. DO bring a little gift (gosh, even a box of nice chocolates and flowers will do).

    RED flags: unless she has some real valuable reason, her being late. Sorry, but “car didn’t work, stuck in traffic, etc.” excuses for the FIRST date is bad. BAD BAD BAD. Can be excused only if she is super uber gorgeous blonde like me 😀 😛

    Ok, you had a dinner, you held her hand… Kissing. KISSING is important. First kiss, in my opinion, if the date was good (we ALL know a good date) should happen there and then. If you did not feel enough sexual chemistry to kiss on the first date – sorry, but it will suck in future.

    DO give taxi money, or DO offer to pay for the petrol (GOOD SD will accept you giving cash to the driver, but will NOT take petrol money. If you ask me how I know it – I just do.)

    All went well? Both are available? Go for it. In MY opinion, and I would turn my nose up if I was offered that, but cash in hand on the first intimate meeting is the best (providing that is what she is looking for). Put it in a nice envelope or in a gift bag.. DO NOT give it in the beginning of the date as soon as she arrives (that is for hookers, not SBs).
    If she is not looking for cash, a nice gift (thoughtful one, like a nice designer bag, or Spa treatment gift card, etc…) will be more then welcomed…

    What NOT to tolerate:

    1) Headaches (there are wives and girlfriends for that).
    2) Cancelling the date (twice, and on to the next one).
    3) Her being drunk (if she has to drink to be with you, it is not good.)
    4) Greediness (you agreed on x and then it starts…). Give gifts if you want to or if she deserves it. Not because she expects it.
    5) ANY kind of drama: “Why didn’t you call?”, “Who is that girl?” etc… If your SB starts giving you a headache – she is not a SB but a girlfriend with a financial help.

  73. Exotic SB says:

    @NCGent – it’s a deal! 😉

    @Beach – Hello beautiful!

  74. Beach_Girl says:

    NC~ yes, it would be awesome to finally meet you 😀

  75. NC Gent says:

    A reunion sounds awesome…. have a lot of travel coming up so might be able to make something work… if you show up, Exotic I will do my bestest to come… but you have to bat your eyelashes in person too!

    Good to see you Beach — I am doing well – I need to shoot you an email now that summer is about over and I am back to my normal working life.

  76. Beach_Girl says:

    Zack~ Valet your heart to a point, I feel like you are here to find love not an arrangement? Some sugars have fallen in love and had Real Relationships with their SD now BFs but it’s very different…

  77. Beach_Girl says:

    Hello Sugars 😀

    Genuine!!!!! Hey, I still have the same email 😀 we should catch up… and yes, a meetup would be awesome 😀 I’m always up for some warm and sunny place 😀

    Don Amore~We should look into a meetup for sure, this weekend might be a little hard for me, we can always talk about it a little more, MTL is good 😀

    NC~ DUDE!!! how are you?
    How awesome, a blog reunion lol… kind of!

    Guru~ 😀 could you send my email to Don Amore 😀 thank you

  78. Exotic SB says:

    @NC Gent – “don’t forget to valet your heart!” – Lol….!

    Umm. *batting eyelashes* NC Gent – would you join us for our sugar meetup?!

  79. NC Gent says:

    Hi Genuine — good to see you again as well.

    Zack — the initial meeting is a big part of the screening process, and part of the screening process is will they show up and/or show up on time. I tolerate a few minutes late on the first meeting, especially if they text me and say they are running a little bit late. Also, you have to decide how much lieing you are going to tolerate (for example, some SDs ask an SB if she has a bf — don’t be shocked if she lies about that). I guess that depends on the level of relationship you are seeking and how detached from the process you can become…. don’t forget to valet your heart!

  80. Zack says:

    Actually, I think you may have pointed out some things I should think about. thanks.

  81. GenuineSD says:

    @ExoticSB. Sounds promising ! I’m onboard!
    :)

  82. GenuineSD says:

    Well, hmmm
    I think you need to know yourself and what you want from an arrangement. Then you can clearly state those things in your emails & before-meeting communications…
    I’d also screen carefully for scammers that would appeal to the emotional component of your wish-list.
    I’m not sure what you mean by seeking “emotional investment”… Can you elaborate ?

    • SD Guru says:

      It’s great to see all the newbies and old timers!!

      @Spicey
      “But something about him has me hooked. Hopefully, two weeks in Bali will cure me of that.”

      Two weeks in Bali will cure most things. 😛
      It’s great that you’re able to take off for two weeks and jet around the world just like that. I hope you’ll come back refreshed and free of drama!

      @Jeanandshirt76
      “Just wondering if sugar babies lying to their sugar daddy is a common part of these arrangements.”

      That’s an interesting conundrum. One the one hand you need to establish trust, OTOH in a NSA arrangement you should keep your lives separate. So it really depends on what you asked her and what she’s lying to you about. She might lie to you if she thinks you’re invading her privacy. A good way to keep things NSA is don’t ask don’t tell.

      @Don Amore
      “The fact is that if you can possibly Love greater than someone can un-Love you, then they will eventually Love you.”

      That sounds really good on paper and will get you brownie points, but unfortunately it doesn’t always work in the real world. By the way, why would you choose to pursue a sugar relationship over a traditional one?

      @Zack
      “it would be nice if new SB’s were able to keep plans made, with bonus points for “almost on time.”

      You’re not doing anything wrong. Just accept the fact that a certain percentage of SB’s are flaky. Get used to it! :mrgreen:

  83. Zack says:

    Yes, but… lol

    I do like the idea of systems. I do want to remain open enough to people to limit my field to whatever I can handle. What might be, from a certain angle, a >50% failure rate seems, to me, something I’d like to try to do better.

    emotional investment improves dedication (ref: create a real crisis). I know this is probably natural, but I drift towards an ltr, even though I know fwb is best for me for now. Shrug. How do I best manage that “normal?” I’m open to suggestions, lol

  84. GenuineSD says:

    @Zack… Careful about that love thing… This is sugar and it’s different…

    In my experience, you will get a percentage of cancellations and late arrivals… But not a lot.
    Sometimes life happens and a meeting occasionally needs to be rescheduled. Other times, lateness and rescheduling point to issues that you probably out to screen out.
    Screening of potential partners (for SBs & SDs both) is a skill and requires perception, usually acquired through experience.

    WRT “getting kicked in the gut” – wise person has previously offered this guidance to first meetings: ” be emotionally detached from the outcome”. It improves decision making by several orders if magnitude ..,

  85. Zack says:

    @ exotic: Sigh. Waste not, want not. I’d like to consider adaptability a virtue.

    @ flir: Ty for such a message, lol :)

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ataraxia

  86. Exotic SB says:

    @Genuine SD – you and Don Amore should talk! Beach and I will continue talking toooo! 😉

    How many other blog SB’s and SD’s would be interested in a meetup?

  87. Exotic SB says:

    @Zack – maybe you are attracting high drama SB’s because you are so low drama..? Maybe it is the ‘type’ of SB you are looking for – ie: age, personality, etc. There are so many aspects to take into account…BUT…if this has not worked for you thus far – you can change something, and observe your feedback system to see if it is more appealing to you! Don’t stop being vulnerable, just change WHO you are vulnerable with! xo

    @flyr – that’s AH-mazing to hear! Ty for sharing this! If you ever come in contact with her. please do tell her some Blog Babes send some love 😉

  88. GenuineSD says:

    @ ExoticSB…. It’s always wArm & sunny here… And I know the perfect place for a weekend get together.

    @NC Gent. Greetings! It’s good to see you here again,

    @Jeanandshirt76. In my experience lying from an SB to the extent you describe is a flaw. Given the ability to find do many ladies of quality in the sugar world, why tolerate it?
    On balance is the aggravation and doubt worth it?

  89. flyr says:

    “”Exotic SB~ Nope, I think Midwest was here once not long ago, but she isn’t in the sugar world anymore””

    My recollection is that she stopped by to say hello to the gang about a year ago but life has brought her an abundance of good things , through her hard work, and she’s off to new adventures

  90. Zack says:

    Was it Treasured who said a while back that things would kick up a notch come Fall? Anyway, I’m overwhelmed by this blog, at the moment, lol.

    So, at the risk of heading off topic, I’d appreciate some feedback on (probably my) newbie issues…

    Love is a wonderful ideal. Unfortunately such mere mortals as I must accommodate physical realities such as gravity, density, food and… legal tender.

    I like to think of myself as “low drama” but I find myself trying to explain things I really don’t want to get hung up on. I expect that sort of cycle is my own drama working out. I can manage that.

    I have difficulty opening up to the point of “making plans,” be they so simple as “I’ll buy lunch.” I’m getting better at that fast, mostly just out of practice, really.

    Still, it would be nice if new SB’s were able to keep plans made, with bonus points for “almost on time.” Too often, -something- happens and they don’t, from dead cars to dead relatives and all points between. Ok, I gotta think that’s either 1) scammers 2) ppl I have freaked out 3) (something else I hope ppl will point out to me?)

    Love is great, but leaving myself vulnerable to being repeatedly kicked in the gut by people lying either to themselves or to me….. just hurts. That does not feel sustainable, and I hope it’s just something -I’m- doing wrong.

    Thoughts?

  91. Exotic SB says:

    @NC Gent – I had a name change, but I’m the same SB is behind it 😉 It has been a looong time since I have been near SA. Definitely happy to be back 😀

  92. NC Gent says:

    Hello Exotic SB — yes it is the same NC Gent from times past — good to see you again!

  93. Exotic SB says:

    Good morning to everyone else in sugarland!!! xo

  94. Exotic SB says:

    @Genuine SD – I think you are spot on! Beeeeach time! 😉

    @NC Gent – Hello! (I am not sure if you are the same NC Gent from times past?!…but hello, regardless!!)

    @Don – Beach is in Montreal and I am in Ontario…a province away from each other! Your eco community sounds VERY interesting to me!

  95. NC Gent says:

    Chelle — given the ratio of SBs to SDs, the statistical reality is that APPROXIMATELY 9 out of 10 SBs will never find an SD. Despite the gradual enlightenment, I would say a large percentage of people prefer to date within their race, so unfortunately you have that working against you also. On the positive side, being a college student is perceived as a plus by many SDs.

    I have no idea what you look like, but the more physically fit that you are, the better your chances for finding sugar. This goes for SDs also.

    It can take several months to find a sugar partner, and both parties need to be realistic on what they bring to the table. Don’t take it too personally if you don’t find someone, again about 9 out of 10 don’t succeed.

    Good to see a lot of familiar faces!

  96. GenuineSD says:

    @Beach. Greetings ! It’s good to see your posts again! How have you been ?
    Reading your comments on meets in the past makes me think we should give it a try again soon… Perhaps someplace sunny and warm this Fall or Winter ? ;

  97. Treasured says:

    Now, tell us you are FatBadtardito and just quietly enjoying the reaction of the blog babes to the fresh piece of VSE ( Valuable Sugar Estate)? 😀

    By the way, as for lying… Moi NEVER never lies! 😛 Moi also never gives blow jobs. Moi is a nun 😀

  98. Treasured says:

    Don, moi deserves fun 😛

  99. Treasured says:

    Don, please, do tell us, that there is at least one bad streak in you – no one can possibly be so positively boring!

  100. Don Amore says:

    @Treasured… Good for you… Don’t compromise! You deserve awesome LOVE!!!

  101. Don Amore says:

    PS… I will check in Wed morning… Sweet Dreams to you Sweet Sugars…

  102. Treasured says:

    Guru – no worries about me:D
    Apparently girls were right on here – they ALL love us being feisty.

    I thought this time I stepped over the plank, being very mean, regarding the situation – guess what? He loves me even more. Little commercial slut is staying where she belongs and I’m going to London.

    Me and Daddy are still fine :)

  103. Don Amore says:

    @Exotic SB + Beach Beauty – Well, let’s see… Q#1: Do both of you live near each other, so you can travel together? Q#2: We should check the weather patterns for New England area (if we choose NYC venue) or Montreal weather (if we choose the Montreal venue)? Q#3: I will have to think about your question of other SDs in my area? I have a few friends that are sweet gentlemen, but I will have to see if they are available? Q#4: I may go to Vermont for the NOFA Conference (Organic Farming Conference with High Mowing Seeds Company) to educate myself on EcoVillaging? That is this weekend… Maybe we could all meet there? (Another idea!) It’s in Burlington Vermont… Q#5: I am not sure what interests that you SBs have, but my interests are (1) Conscious Growth, (2) Self-Empowerment, (3) Financial Stability through Eco_Village-ing… I am presenting researching all aspects of an Eco-Village Cooperative where everyone will work together using there unique skills and talents in a meaningful way… I am not interested in having my life postulated by Corporate Oligarchs, but I am interested in loving life, loving people, loving nature… Imagine if we had our own estate that was self-sustaining, relaxing, private, organic, sun, water, plants, trees, music, art, sculpture? It’s time to make our own estate instead of living on other people’s estates… Anyway, I am planning on building a self-sustaining estate. Period. End of story!

  104. Beach_Girl says:

    Exotic SB~ It was awesome reconnecting with you girlie!!!
    Don Amore~ Awesome chatting with you tonight, hopefully we can chat again

    Night night sugars 😀

  105. Exotic SB says:

    Ok I am heading off to bed! It was sooo wonderful to be in touch with you again Beach! And definitely a pleasure connecting with you Don Amore!

  106. Exotic SB says:

    @Don – Can we call it The Love Shack? 😉 😛

  107. Exotic SB says:

    @Don – Do you have any beach SD friends??! I am nominating your place for the meetup 😉

  108. Beach_Girl says:

    Exotic~ woo hooo sounds like we should be making some plans 😀

  109. Exotic SB says:

    @Beach – if you head to the beach, pick me up on the way! It would be so awesome to do another SB/SD meetup!!!

    @Don – mystically inclined 😛

  110. Beach_Girl says:

    Don Amore~ Yes, tomorrow will be the same but rain, no sun… if you want to bring me some sun… come on up!

  111. Don Amore says:

    Hey Beach Girl – Tomorrow it’s 90-degrees here… I will be on the beach swimming, and snorkeling from my boat… I will save you some Sun, and bring it to Montreal for you!
    Hey Exotic SB – You’re exciting my Neural Net again… Clairvoyant are we?

  112. Beach_Girl says:

    Don Amore~ when? lol 😀

  113. Don Amore says:

    @Exotic SB – “Why, Love showed me the way!”
    OK, Lovely Exotic SB… It obviously did! Congrats!!!
    @Beach Girl – Come on down!

  114. Beach_Girl says:

    Exotic lol…

  115. Beach_Girl says:

    Don Amore~ Yes, I’m from MTL 😀 … Near a beach?!?!?!?! shoot… I want to sit on a beach in the sun 😀 lol

  116. Exotic SB says:

    See how fast that happened??!??! Lol..

  117. Beach_Girl says:

    Exotic SB~ I have always had the same name here… lol, I love the beach, Love the sun, Cali… etc, why change it 😀

  118. Exotic SB says:

    @Beach – You have been using that name for a looong time – you have it all in your escrow! There is a SD sitting there on a beach dreaming about YOU, Right NOW! 😉 ***Calling all Beach SD’s***

    @SD Quantum Love – Why, Love showed me the way! 😉

  119. Don Amore says:

    @ Beach Girl – I live near the beach in NYC. Are you a native Canadian?

  120. Beach_Girl says:

    Don Amore~ very well said.

  121. Beach_Girl says:

    Sweetie!!! So glad things are good girlie!!! we will catch up soon 😀

  122. sweetie says:

    Good night everyone!

  123. sweetie says:

    BG, hello my dear! It’s good to see you here :) I will email you soon.
    Doing well, thank you.

  124. Don Amore says:

    All I know is this: If a man wants a great woman next to him (temporarily or permanently), then he needs to share his greatness with her, and vice versa. It’s the only way to enlightenment. The equation is: Male + Female = A Human Being. Period. End of story!

  125. Beach_Girl says:

    Don Amore~sadly for me, I am not on a beach anymore :( … I am back in Montreal.. where there is a huge Thunder storm happening right now, the light show is impressive!!! Where are you at Don Amore?

  126. Beach_Girl says:

    Blog get together’s, we had a few with the old crowd from here.
    Exotic and I went to the Toronto meet, I went to a Chicago meet and California meet… it’s awesome to actually meet SBs and SDs in real life.
    I also met a few SBs and SDs outside of gatherings… 😀 all awesome!

  127. Don Amore says:

    @Exotic SB – You’re a special woman… Thanks for the upgrade!
    SD Quantum Love says that you SBs are very special women, and men need special women to become special men.
    Anyway, how did you get so smart? You’re exciting my Neural Network!
    @Beach Girl – In which cosmic-beach are you bathing? I’m coming!

  128. Beach_Girl says:

    Don Amore~ Keep on sharing 😀 I love to learn

  129. Exotic SB says:

    @Don Amore aka SD Quantum Love 😉

    Wow indeed. Are you opening a SD mentoring program??

  130. Don Amore says:

    @ Beach Girl: Thanks Beach Girl. It is an honor to share my insights with you.

  131. Beach_Girl says:

    Don Amore~ that was well said… I like your definition of a SD and SB!

  132. Don Amore says:

    @Exotic SB – Yes, some beings (like Rumi, Kabir, Gibran) obviously drank from The Ocean of Love and Mercy. No words can describe them. They are Vessels of Love. WOW! When I think of their poetry, then I experience Explosions of Consciousness, and I become like them. When I start to write poetry inspired by their Cosmic Consciousness, then I am transported into another world, the Inner World of Pure Light and Pure Sound. I guess that we really are Spiritual Beings after all. How else could we explain the talents of Michelangelo, Da Vinci, Tesla, Mozart? If we could just live with their paintings, sculptures, inventions, and music for even a few months without disruption from the work-a-day world, then — I believe — we would achieve their Level of Consciousness. Yes, I believe that this would be the true and lasting result of living within their Divine Creations. Aren’t we all trying to become great artists? Isn’t love an Art? Sugar is certainly beautiful. I love the concept of a Sugar Daddy and a Sugar Baby. To me, a SD is someone who actually respects a beautiful, refined woman, and therefore he wants to assist her to become more beautiful and more refined; and a SB is someone who appreciates the love of an SD, and wants to assist that SD to become more loving and more giving. These are the true definitions of an SD and an SB (in my opinion). At least, this is what I try to do when I am a Sugar Daddy, and these are the type of Sugar Babies that I want in my life. Why wouldn’t I want to increase my Sugar Baby’s beauty inside and outside? There is no better reason that I can think of. I love women who love themselves. I want women who love themselves. I want to please them in all ways. Women are an inspiration to me. They remind me of my own beauty and refinement. Women — as a genetic entity — are a gift to men. Women — as a spiritual entity — are a gift to humanity.

  133. Beach_Girl says:

    Exotic SB~ Nope, I think Midwest was here once not long ago, but she isn’t in the sugar world anymore, I don’t think… none of the SDs are here either, NC sometimes comes here, GenuineSD sometimes,, but I think that is it

  134. SugarySpicey says:

    Jeans – Depends on the lie, and depends on why you’re choosing to pick at her for it. If she feels like you treat her as an inconsequential prostitute it would make sense for her to lie to you – she thinks you wouldn’t care. If she thinks you’re controlling she may lie to gain freedom. If she’s bad with money, unhappy in your arrangement, broke, addicted to coke – any number of reasons why SBs would lie. But it’s usually based on some element if the arrangement dynamic.

    Tell us more, or talk to her directly. Too hard to speculate without more info.

  135. Exotic SB says:

    @Beach – it’s wonderful to see you here! Do any of the other ladies hang out here at all – I would love to connect with some of them too! Cleo, Flo Rida, Midwest, Elegant…….hmmm.

  136. Beach_Girl says:

    Sweetie~ hey girlie, how are you?

  137. Beach_Girl says:

    Aye_Plus~ Hi and welcome. It takes time to find a SD. There is someone for everyone, you need to be patient. Maybe you messages need to be more specific to the person you are messaging? could be your demands, your pics… so many things… you never know what makes someone click . But it does take time and patience…

    Chelle~ I don’t know why you are having a hard time. It could be your location, your demands etc…

  138. Beach_Girl says:

    Jeanandtshirt76~ I wouldn’t lie, I don’t see why, we all know why we are here 😀
    I think lying is a waste of time and energy

    Spicey~ Hey girl, How have you been?

    FBSD~ Hi 😀 how is life on your end of the world? 😀

  139. Beach_Girl says:

    Hello Sugars 😀

    Exotic SB~ We did have an awesome time in Toronto… 😀

  140. Exotic SB says:

    @Don – HERE HERE!!!

    When I was here on the blog in previous years, we had an AWESOME get together in Toronto! Good times :)

  141. Exotic SB says:

    @Don – you are speaking my language talking about universal laws!! And I have a lot of thoughts on the topic of LOVE – Rumi is a big inspiration in my world! But all of that will be revealed….in time. 😉

    @Jeanandtshirt76 – I am new back in the sugar bowl *however* I would not lie to an SD – what would be the point? I didn’t ever lie to my previous SD (a few years back) and I won’t lie now…personally, I would look for a new SB ’76..

  142. Don Amore says:

    And enough with the SD and SB stuff! We are all Sugars: Sweet and Juicy… Especially when we have chemistry with each other… We should all be helping each other find the right SD or SB for each other. We should have some parties where the main purpose is simply to enjoy each other’s quirks! WOW! Look at the way he dances! Or, WOW, look at the way she smiles! Whatever we can appreciate in each other, then let’s just do it already! It takes too much energy to analyze each other. We are complicated beings who have lived many lives before, and who have had many different experiences in this present life. Our goal should be to simply Love each other. That’s all. Just Love. How hard is it? It is as hard as our previous painful experiences make it. Past pain keeps us away from Love. I’m sick of being away from Love! I’m sick of playing the Game of Love. Enough already! Just Love!!!

  143. Don Amore says:

    @Exotic SB: Thank you… You are obviously an intelligent and sensitive woman… What a pleasure… Looking forward to hearing more of your thoughts on Loving Each Other… “Love is what we are…” ~ just beautiful.

  144. Don Amore says:

    Remember, Love is Love. It is not anything else. The Law of Cause and Effect is the main Law of Success. If you Love (the Cause), then the Effect is Love. Be Cause, not Effect. The fact is that if you can possibly Love greater than someone can un-Love you, then they will eventually Love you. Your problem is not whether or not there is Love around you, but whether or not there is Love inside of you!

  145. Jeanandtshirt76 says:

    I drop in here every now and then and check what’s going on.

    Just wondering if sugar babies lying to their sugar daddy is a common part of these arrangements. I personally don’t care what she really does, given her money to buy stuff, party with her girlfriend etc… But I’m constantly being lied to. Pretty much been told that I have no business even asking about it when she mixes her facts up, her life is none of my business.

    Is this the way all sugar babies behave and think?

  146. SugarySpicey says:

    Hey Beachey – welcome back!

    Guru – yeah, this guy is a major league asshole I’ve just realized. But something about him has me hooked. Hopefully, two weeks in Bali will cure me of that. I’ve only ever spent the night with him two other times – we’ve never been together for such a long stretch. Reminds me of all the drama you blogged about with your old SB.

  147. Beach_Girl says:

    Hello Sugars 😀
    Wow, so many new faces.

    How was everyone’s summer?

    Guru~ 😀 how are you ? 😉

  148. Aye_Plus says:

    Hi all! I didn’t realize this page was so active!!

    I’m having no luck with SA so far..I’ve been on for about a month. I’ve tried sending winks and messages, but no luck. Is it too much to be persistent? What am I missing in order to pull guys in? I’m in Raleigh, NC…not sure if the demographic here is dry. I appreciate any words of encouragement.

    • SD Guru says:

      @Treasured and Spicey

      I’m sorry to hear what happened with both of your SD’s. But… it’s often been said in the blog that high roller SD’s usually have high expectations and more crap to put up with (I think one of you might have said this yourself). So, what’s happening now with your SD’s should come as no surprise. It’s your choice whether you want to deal with this type of SD’s and put up with everything that comes with it or move on.

  149. chelle says:

    Hey to all :)

    I’m was wonder why is it so hard for a college SB of color to find a SD? I been on her for 6 months and still haven’t found luck…Why is that and I’m not new to the SB/SD world.

  150. Zack says:

    @ Sugary: Perhaps it might help to consider this simile, should you wish, “Jealousy is like a Chimera.”

    @Don: “Paradise stands in the shadow of swords.”

  151. SugarySpicey says:

    The lesson, “Tho shall not commit adultery.”

    Be single and available or in a relationship. Don’t do both.

  152. P Slatter says:

    Just love all the profiles, itd’s a treasure chest with so many female connectors!

  153. Exotic SB says:

    @Sugary ~ ask yourself what you need to learn from it and move on….that way you will be aware next time and not have to worry about repeating any patterns…

    It ain’t easy tho *HUGS*!

  154. SugarySpicey says:

    Don Amore – I’m quoting you! Please? In my blog tonight – you gave a perspective that is insightful. “Why not share my love for life with another lover of life?”

    Sweetie – I’m still going, with or without him. It might still happen – but it’ll probably be goodbye.

    The rest of you. Sighhhhhh, I made a grave mistake in getting too attached when I am
    Not available. I didn’t see it coming and I was careless with my heart.

  155. Exotic SB says:

    Love is what we are!..

  156. Exotic SB says:

    “Why not share my love for life with another lover of life?” ~ just beautiful.

    @Don Amore – *Cheers* At the end of the day I would have to agree it is all about love and acceptance….

  157. Don Amore says:

    To continue…
    It’s simply warm and healthy to share love with each other. Period. End of story! However, I would suggest that the love that we do share is done with mutual respect. If love has a definition, then it is “mutual respect”. With this definition, then you can’t lose. You won’t lose your relationship, and you won’t lose your friendship. At the very least, then you will remain friends, and friends love each other and support each other whether or not it is an easy scenario or drama. At least with friendship, then there is always the chance that you will be loving towards each other when the environment is ripe for love, tenderness, support. we should all be hugging and kissing each other in a familial way. After all, we are all genetically connected to each other (as the research by Stephen Wells proves). Think about this: If there were only about 100,000 people living on Earth a few thousand years ago, then were did all these people come from? You guessed right! We all came from each other! If you could possibly retrace your ancestry, then you would find that you genetic lineage goes back into pre-recorded Earth-time. It can be no other way because we all have ancestors, and they have ancestors, and they have ancestors, and so on… This is why we inherently love each other! If you add re-incarnation into the Equation of Love, then you have an unlimited possibility of multiple lovers which you want to re-love! Why do you love someone “at first site”? Think about it for a moment… Why do you love?

  158. Don Amore says:

    What ever happened to love? Loving each other as a precious being will create rapport that is self-sustaining and attractive. No? Why not just love all the quirks? Why not love our own quirks? They are like cultures. Isn’t it nice to vist and admire another culture? Each person is a micro-culture. So enjoyable! I love women. I love men. I have many women friends I have many men friends. Friendship is the key to falling in love. Love is work, It’s more important than work. without love, we would not be here! Even if the love that created you was sexual love, then it is still love. We are starving for connection. I am starving for connection. And why not? Why not starve for connection! Why not share my love for life with another lover of life! It is really time to just love. Stop thinking about love. Just love and be love. No one can resist love. It’s impossible!

  159. flyr says:

    Sugary – Sorry to hear you are going through all the drama.. These are supposed to be drama free or at least reduced drama relationships.

  160. Omyx_Percula says:

    So sorry dear. You have been thru it lately. GL

  161. sweetie says:

    Sugary, what the hell? You were almost on the plane there!

  162. SugarySpicey says:

    I think I just ended things with my 3rd World Whore Humper (who didn’t actually hump any 3rd World Whores). Because it’s an arrangement, I don’t have anyone I can talk to – and I’m devastated.

  163. Omyx_Percula says:

    While I hear there is a owners manual to the V, I have yet to see one. I hear that even some owners didn’t get their copies. The best I can do is read the operators guide and practice and practice and practice… Take input from the owner and practice some more 😉

  164. sweetie says:

    Well, gonna break the streak here and show a little fan love:
    Vamos Rafa!!!!!!!!

  165. Treasured says:

    Sugar, once the cock is hard, all the neurons stop functioning.

    The latest from my SD: “I asked THE hookah to join me on my next trip to London. I will also ask her to get a HIV test”!!! That coming from a person, who is smart!!!! Well… At least I thought so… I replied, that if he has anything unprotected with a lite bitch, he is not coming anywhere near me! God. Do man really are soooo damn fucking stupid? She is a fucking professional! Who might also have x, y, z boyfriends. Beyond me…
    The worst thing, even though he swore to me that it would be oral strictly (yes, Sugar, going down on a commercial is not disgusting to some men) I feel that his long earned trust is gone.

    He was becoming more than a SD, now it is back to basics: me playing the part. At least I can do that well.

    And it is not the actual trip – was fine with it. But the thought, that it might be ok to stick his dick in a fast track!

    God, beyond me.

    Exotic – some might call me plainly a bitch. And I think they might be right;)

  166. gtt_evny says:

    @SugarySpice, I have no earthly clue how guys do it!! I’ve had 1 hobbyist experience after two frustrating SB experiences and while it took all of the “What if’s?” away my brain was very unhappy with choice afterwards. I doubt I could go down the escort road again it still bothers me and it’s been months. The thought of frequency, protection or not just lining up guys one by one all weekend (eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek), it grosses me out too.

    Think about most of the great sex in your life and almost always it is due to a emotional connection. The physical act itself is so much better with someone you connect with and have built a rapport with vs just stick it in here and okay see ya next month.

    Good luck trying to digest the thought of your “SD” tearing up 3rd world prostitutes I think it will be very hard to do and might cause irreparable damage to the relationship.

    Best of luck!!

  167. SugarySpicey says:

    Exotic – they all love feistiness, they only pretend they want the sweet girl.

  168. SugarySpicey says:

    I do love the man who loves pussy. And I suppose thinking that a chocolate soufflé is delicious doesn’t mean that I can’t also think that an Oreo milkshake is delicious. But us women want compliments to be exclusive.

    I don’t mind the man likes to dine at the Y – hell, I’d kick a guy to the curb if he didn’t like to dine at my Y.

    But, commercial pussy? I really need help understanding how a man could get past that ick factor of commercial pussy and want to put it in his mouth.

    Can someone help me here?

  169. Percy S. says:

    Just joined the site. I must say this site is way better than I imagined. Must update my profile so I can better market my self to the lovely SBs out there.

    Something for all and from looking at the profiles – so many smart ladies on this site – intelligence is a turn on for me I must say. Still finding my way but getting the jist of it. Not sure about upgrading as yet however as still weighing up the pros and cons. Wide awake from the beauty haze of all the sexy ladies!

  170. Exotic SB says:

    @Treasured – I am sure he enjoys your inner feistiness 😉

  171. Treasured says:

    As to compliments….

    Daddy genuinely believes (well, as long as his dick is hard) that a woman standing in front of him does have amazing boobs, tummy, eyes, ass, pussy, etc.

    PISSES ME OFF intensely!

  172. Treasured says:

    “every woman is different, they look different, smell different, they feel different and taste different”

    I think I need to go and be sick now! 😀

    Sorry, not that sensitive usually, but I think the experience with an escort scarred me for life.

    God, I LOVE cock! I LOVE cock! I LOVE cock!

  173. Treasured says:

    Onyx, we ALL love a pussy man. And I LOOOOVE the pussy. Just not every other pussy. To be precise – only one pussy: mine! 😀

    Re key – very few men, well, people, actually, know how to work it. I am yet to meet one.

  174. onyx_percula says:

    @Exotic Welcome back!

    @Sweetie and Treasured ref vj… and compliments. I guess by Sweeties definition I am a pussy man. I can assure you every woman is different, they look different, smell different, they feel different and taste different. Men that love pussy love everything about them. They can’t get enough, or enough of making you wrack and shake from some well deserved attention 😉

    Men should not give compliments if they aren’t sincere. I think it takes a man that is more aware of others feelings. I can always find something about a women that I like and can compliment. If I can’t in the moment, I just don’t say anything.

    @Treasured — I think you have found the key alright, interestingly enough I think the same key works on a woman too.

  175. Treasured says:

    Sugary, still haven’t done it – need two weeks off studies, so will be doing it sometime next spring.
    Daddy and me are still doing well. I discovered the answer to how keep a man satisfied: give him what he needs, not what he thinks he wants. Before he actually realises he needs it.
    Hence the love confession (from a person, who claims he has been in love once before. And knowing him, I do believe it.)

    After all my explorations, I am in a great unknown as to why anybody would want to have a pussy in their mouth full stop 😀 The more kinky stuff I do, the more I realise how boringly straight I am 😀
    Psssss: Daddy should never know!

    As to why… Honestly, men just don’t give a damn. A pussy is a pussy.
    Also, from my observations, they also do not give a damn about filtering what they are saying: basically they sing the same old boring “I love your eyes” and “What an amazing body you have” even though there might be a pair of lopsided droopy boobs in front , not even mentioning “Your pussy tastes so great” songs to every single damn girl!

    Unfortunate, but the reality.

    BUT, what does count is what the man actually DOES for you. For me, talk is cheap, actions rule – is definitely a mantra from now on 😀

  176. SugarySpicey says:

    Treasured! Hello. So you and daddy are still doing well? Did you end up doing the rhino surgery? I’ve been curious.

    I really don’t understand how/why someone would WANT to go down on a prostitute. Just seems so gross.

    I suppose I’m also pretty naive about the whole thing, seeing as I’ve never even seen a third world prostitute – except in his photos from holidays (and then they just look like normal girls.) I’m far more judgemental than I thought I was.

  177. Treasured says:

    “The thought of putting one’s mouth on commercial-grade vagina is so disgusting to me that I can’t even imagine it!”

    I can, and unfortunately only too well: to make my Daddy happy (since he has been so good to me) I made him a surprise and hired an escort.
    Well:
    1) I am definitely NOT into girls. And certainly NOT into hookers.
    2) Daddy saying he “loves me” for the FIRST time, while the mentioned hooker’s vajaja is on my face is definitely NOT my idea of the perfect declaration of someone being in love with me.

  178. Exotic SB says:

    It’s been a few years since I have last frequented this blog, or SA.

    Dropping in to say a sugary *hello* :)

    xo

  179. sweetie says:

    Thank you, everybody. Oh, well, I’ll keep looking.

  180. FatBastardSD says:

    @sweetie

    Blue members are only aware of how many messages are in the inbox but cannot access the inbox at all so he will not know who sent a message.

    I don’t think it is worth waiting on this SD.

  181. onyx_percula says:

    @Sweetie — I wasn’t a blue long to know the answer to your question. Something that may or may not help, or even be the same for a blue… When I receive a wink or message, I get an email notice. It always has a link to a profile with it.

  182. SugarySpicey says:

    Sweetie – If he’s blue, he’s not looking, no use trying to change that game. Maybe he just logs in to cyberstalk his current SB.

    Flyr re: Exclusivity – I’m the one who won’t be exclusive, so seems unfair to demand that of him. I don’t think The Pirate really was at a whorehouse, I think it was a joke. Either way, I’m not turning down a trip to Bali. I’ll ask him about it when I’m there, he’ll tell me the truth (because he always does) and I’ll decide if the truth is a deal breaker.

    LD – I’m taking a break from sugar, as you know from reading my blog, I have too complicated a triangle as it is. But blog friends are always nice. :) if you’d like me to weigh in on your profile you can message me through my blog and I’ll definitely give you my opinion.

    Onyx – Congrats! You found your unicorn!

  183. sweetie says:

    Hello, Jersey! Nice to see you around! How have you been, dear?

    My previous question was not answered in the heat of SB/escorting/whoring/sending flowers debate, so here it goes again. Gentlemen, I’m counting on you.

    Question about the blue SD members. If I email somebody who’s not a premium member, they can’t read the message unless they upgrade their account, correct?
    Now, can they see who sent the message and check out that person’s profile, though?

    There’s a blue guy I really wish he’d upgrade. He doesn’t log in much at all. Any ideas?

  184. onyx_percula says:

    @gtt_envy — Ladies and Gentlemen we have a winner!

    Congrats, I hope you can seal the deal and make it a rewarding arrangement for both you for a long time to come.

  185. gtt_envy says:

    @Onyx, well it only too forever and a day, but the SB I hung out with last night is my kryptonite. I left thinking “Damn!!”

    Beautiful, funny really funny, junior in College, easy to talk, I’m in trouble lol. Our date was 8 hrs and time flew by!!

  186. LD says:

    @SugarySpicey I adore your blog. It’s given me great insight. I’m new to the sugar bowl (joined in May) but I’m finding it even sweeter than I imagined. You get lots of emails/requests so you probably don’t remember viewing my profile before but I’ve revamped it and would appreciate a second look

  187. flyr says:

    SS re exclusivity . No discussion of exclusivity but the knowledge that I’m going to have an awesome experience with someone whom I like and enjoy softens the urge to hunt .

    • SD Guru says:

      @ss1959
      “Her birthday is coming up in a couple of weeks, and I’m wondering if it’s appropriate to send flowers. I would have to send them to her workplace.”

      Despite your good intentions, I’d suggest that you don’t bring potential drama to her workplace by sending flowers there. You could bring a thoughtful gift plus flowers for your next meeting with her and I’m sure she’ll appreciate it just as much.

      @SugarSpicey
      “I guess I’m hoping for someone who’s hobbied in the third world to tell me it’s less revolting than I imagine.

      As you know when there’s smoke there’s fire. But you know him better than any of us here, so obviously the decision is yours.

      @Ricklad101
      “There are alot of situations where sugar dating is a better cost-benefit.”

      Looks like you’re doing just fine in the sugar world. What was your question again?? :mrgreen:

  188. ss1959 says:

    @onyx_percula – Thanks; that makes perfect sense. I’m one of those techy geeks with limited social skills and I need stuff like this spelled out for me before I get it.

  189. SugarySpicey says:

    I agree with Rick – in sugar I’ll Domme, and even find it sexy, without crossing my boundaries. IRL – I find Subbys a turn off. The gift$ change the game.

  190. Ricklad101 says:

    @FBSD and OnyX ok let me clarify. yes SB’s are no guarantee’s but 95% of the rejection happens online,saving time and energy,my close rate with SB’s that I get to a meet and greet. is about 90%,and about half the time that 10% rejection rate is a matter of me not being interested. The thing is I can meet six or seven girl sorting through profiles in one evening vs maybe three or four at a night out at a bar. plus. I can usually hook up with a girl a week from first message. I dont have to do as much texting,slick lines innovative conversation. SB’s just want you you be nice,not boring along with not creepy. I work in finance,I am sure Im saving time and money by sugar dating. In fact I tend not to sugar date in the summer,because since Im out anyway,I dont save as much money and time sugar dating.

    now Escorts vs SB’s. 1. me and my SBs have a good rapport ,we text casually watch netflix,and go out occasionally,they can spend the night. Its like having a girl friend or FWB without the potential downside. In general once you factor in the legal ramification and the fact that when an escort comes through my door,I dont have any idea of who she is or her story. She could be an addict or have a PHD.. In the SB world I can do research and have conversation to psychologically profile, the sex with SB’s is enhanced by the fact that we somewhat know each other. My SbB’s dont get up and leave as as I cum.

    @Onyx. in regards to sexual request. I respect their boundary’s, we discuss what they are into before hand,and once we are in a sexual setting. I make request sometimes they comply and sometimes they dont. I was just saying that I am more comfortable making request in the SB world,because it does not involve the complex emotional aspects of an IRL FWB or GF,and the allowance is probably more of an motivator. In IRL I would probably have to do more convincing to try and get firls to do certain things,but in general I was referring to the fact that I was more comfortable asking my SB’s for things,because Im less concerned with the fact they would get pissed or think I was weird,not would they say yes or no.

  191. SugarySpicey says:

    The thought of putting one’s mouth on commercial-grade vagina is so disgusting to me that I can’t even imagine it!

  192. SugarySpicey says:

    If/when I ask he’ll tell me the truth – it just might be a truth I don’t want to hear. (I still have zero concerns about age).

    I am not exclusive, so I don’t expect (though I’d prefer) exclusivity from him.

  193. onyx_percula says:

    @Spicey, yes it is not uncommon for a guy that likes to give to give to a escort.

  194. flyr says:

    @onyx “I still stand by comment though, he would be better off with an escort(s) or a hookup site. At least then there is no doubt about the boundaries and expectations.”

    I agree with the above. Because it helps to self sort potential SB’s, I will make it a point mention what my expectations do not include. It helps to sort out the prospects and is generally appreciated by the pot sb if we our expectations are compatible .

  195. flyr says:

    SS – I would ask for an explanation. Might just be an inside joke.

    But I agree with your concerns and repulsed reaction.

    Almost unrelated to this but there are programs that you could put on your laptop which would watch his eye and facial reaction as he looked at various pictures which would be more accurate than any conventional lie detector.

    One of the benefits of sugar dating should be a semi exclusive relationship which lessens the exposure to bad things. I am a believer that for men your partner’s social and drug habits(and those of her friends) are more important than protection or non protection.

  196. FatBastardSD says:

    @Ricklad101

    I never questioned why a young guy would use the SA site, which is to date SB’s out of his league.

    I don’t think the rest of your post makes sense. Your MTE argument assumes meeting a SB for drinks at a bar is free and guaranteed to get a lay at ‘way less’ than 500 which I don’t believe is possible unless you are an extremely attractive guy.

    Ass to mouth with a SB? I have to ask, whose ass and whose mouth? Are we talking threesomes with SB’s here? Is all this fantasy?

    mentioned in my post (which others have echod) if the goal is to get a guaranteed lay than an escort is what you are looking for

  197. SugarySpicey says:

    Hey Onyx – So, I’m 100% confident he isn’t a pedophile. His move date was bumped and I ended up, on a moment’s notice, overseeing the packing/storing of all his worldly possessions – including his computer hard drives. In addition to how well I know him already, a man with something to hide doesn’t allow the woman he’s involved with complete access to all his earthly possessions (without warning or pause) – and I snooped plenty ;).

    It’s more the disease issue. Not just STDs – all sorts of communicable diseases too. I called my Doc and got a preemptive prescription for CIPRO before the trip (instead of a Typhoid vaccine). And I’m hesitant to ask questions I don’t want to hear the answer to. But these women charge $8 USD – BARF!!!!!

    Of course, it could just be a joke. He messaged me at 6, 8, 10, and 11 (his time) so where would he have fit a whore into that mix anyway? At $8 I’m sure he’d have paid $30 for her to spend the night and blow him in the morning.

    But, just the idea – gross! Gross! Gross!

    I guess I’m hoping for someone who’s hobbied in the third world to tell me it’s less revolting than I imagine. I’ve always known he hobbied a little (before me), and I don’t expect him to be celibate for the next two years, and I’m not exactly dying to move to the third world myself. I’m also wondering, do men go down on whores? The thought of him kissing me with a mouth that touched a commercial sex worker is beyond hideous!

  198. onyx_percula says:

    @Spicey — Total bummer dear. You are right, in the Western world safe sex is the word pretty much without exception. The same is simply not the case in other places, not too mention some of the places in Asia are notorious for catering to pedophiles.

    I don’t know what to tell you beyond what I know of the hobby. I did spend a few months with a SB that is/was a escort and had many frankly discussions about the “hobby”. I guess it comes down to trust, just because he is there doesn’t mean he got it dirty or was with a 12 year old. None the less, ya yuck is the word.

  199. onyx_percula says:

    @ss1959 That’s not the question you ask… “Hey SB, you know I like to send my SB gifts, candy and flowers from time to time. Is it cool to send them to your X?”

    Or you have a discretion talk, “So is it cool for me to pick you up for lunch/dinner from your work?”

    Possibilities are limitless without specifically asking about flowers for her birthday. Not too mention, its likely not the last time something like this will come, ask her.

  200. onyx_percula says:

    @flyr I think you hit my concern more than anything else. While I don’t really see it on SA I do on other sites… Girls broadcasting that they will do anything to pay this bill or that bill. Selling pictures, vids or Skype sessions. I know they are doing more in person, as I have been approached too many times with offers. Times are tough and there are a lot of desperate girls out there.

    I still stand by comment though, he would be better off with an escort(s) or a hookup site. At least then there is no doubt about the boundaries and expectations. The chance of exploitation is very low then.

  201. SugarySpicey says:

    Okay gents and hobbyists – here’s my question. My BF with boundaries is living in a third world country as an executive. He just posted some joke on Facebook that he was playing pool at a whorehouse – he knows I’ll read and see that. We’re not totally exclusive (any of you who read my blog would know that), but third world whores = REVOLTING! Can anyone tell me anything that doesn’t make me run screaming to cancel my trip to see him next week?

  202. ss1959 says:

    @flyr – I don’t think that would be an issue as she is very discreet about being an SB. My concern is that she might be embarrassed at thinking she had to somehow explain who the flowers are from.

    @onyx_percula – Asking her is a great idea, except it ruins the surprise. “Is it okay if I send flowers to you at work on your birthday?”

  203. flyr says:

    RE Birthday flowers

    The only danger I see is that she confesses the source of the flowers to one of her new office mates and later regrets it. Otherwise I think it is the kind of act that makes sugar special.

  204. flyr says:

    @Ricklad + Onyx comment = I think the question is if the SB is doing the things she would feel comfortable doing in a “normal” relationship or feels compelled to operate beyond her level of comfort in order for the sugar to continue- with the observation that some sb’s appear to want to use it as a vehicle to push their boundaries. Or as one SB commented ,to let her inner slut out of the cage.

    A year of so ago I helped an SB with her profile in response to a request here. She ran the profile and got some responses and then decided to insert a small hook that she enjoyed catering to kinkier side. She was overwhelmed with notes from more qualified and serious SD’s. We talked very frankly and her comment was that yes she was comfortable with a lot of stuff (mostly with her in dom role) and that was frequently her role IRL.

    This is one part of the bowl that does concern me with the flood of young women suddenly appearing here…… are they mature enough to set boundaries which they are comfortable with now and which they will look back on in comfort.

    RE Sexiest part – from the brain to the toes – it’s a unified experience where the experience is greater than the sum of the parts .

  205. onyx_percula says:

    @flyr What is the sexiest part of a SB? It’s between her ears not her legs 😉

  206. onyx_percula says:

    @gtt_envy Yes we were together for over 2 years, a few months before the 3 year anniversary when it was time to fly the nest. It wasn’t always easy, I can assure there were several times one or the other or both us had had enough, but we promised each other pretty early on that we would have observe a “cooling off period” before doing anything too permanent.

    Good luck tonight, I hope you both pass the “smell” test.

    @ss1959 Ask her! You are in a relationship with her, if you can’t ask her about sending her a gift or flowers… Discretion is a subject that needs to be talked about often many times. A thought since birthdays tends to be family and friends days/events you are likely not welcome, in person or by proxy gift/flowers. IME what has thrilled my SBs has been doing something nice/special for them a week before or after her day. My new SB’s birthday is in Nov, I booked a long weekend at a high end resort in LV for the weekend after her day. We are doing what she wants to while we are there. She will be pampered and pleasured the whole time. She is way more excited about her trip with me than the activities her friends and family have planned 😉

    @Ricklad101 DUDE! You have turned your SB dating into an semi-pro escort service. Honestly you would be better off finding an escort or two that can cater to your needs as a regular client. Your ideas of what escorts do is not correct, do your research. At least that way you will always get what you want, pay the same or less and have a professional “service” instead of some pot SB that is going to feel VERY used. Both of you will feel a lot better about the whole thing if you don’t treat SBs as whores. Not too mention the time you invest in finding a pot SB willing to see you once or twice and give up the ass is going to be way longer and more complicated than seeking out your local adult champion.

    The reason men get into the “hobby” as it referred to, is so they can hookup with hot girls that can provide and cater to their needs. So they can see a different girl every time if they want or the same girl(s) again and again. So they can hookup with the girl they want without hassles, contact her set up a time, go do your business and leave. You never have to hear from her again if you don’t want to and the same goes for her. Just remember escorts are people too and deserve respect like anyone else, don’t be an asshole. You will enjoy your time a lot more being a respectful gentleman than a asshat.

  207. ss1959 says:

    Reposting from the previous blog entry:

    An off-topic question. I have been dating my first-ever SB for just a couple of months now. A few lunches, a few intimate sessions in a hotel, and a 3-day trip to NYC together. She is super sweet and smart, and I hope to continue this relationship.

    Her birthday is coming up in a couple of weeks, and I’m wondering if it’s appropriate to send flowers. I would have to send them to her workplace. She is a college student and just started an internship 2 days per week. If I were to send her flowers with a simple “Happy Birthday!” and signed with just an initial, how is she likely to take this? Will she think it’s creepy and stalker-ish, or will she think it’s sweet?

  208. flyr says:

    Re: Little known benefits of sugar

    Being appreciated for your brain

    Having a sounding board who wants you to succeed

    Having someone who understands the concept of ladies first in many situations

  209. gtt_envy says:

    @Onyx, I think what you describe is what many true SD types want, but it is very elusive. For one if you helped someone from homelessness to successful engineer how long was that arrangement? Most guys here claim 2-4 months for most arrangements and I am closer to 6 month average nowadays. So, you are saying you guys had a arrangement for years? That is uber rare!!

    Most SB’s I talk to fall into one of two camps: 1) They do this almost full time jungling multiple SD’s or 2) Newbs that have no clue what they want except big allowances and little in the way of intimacy if at all possible.They usually end up flaking or are clearly forcing themselves to do this.

    It is very hard to find a non SD juggling SB who is in interested in a longterm arrangement with the right guy.

    I actually get to hang out with a potential tonight that will hopefully fit the bill we’ve been talking for weeks.

  210. Ricklad101 says:

    sorry thread derail,but I just wanted to reply to Fat.Bastard about why a late 20’s or early 30’s good looking guy would sugar date. Yes I can get average looking woman to sleep with me for way less then 500 per meet in IRL,but when you factor MTE(money time,energy). There are alot of situations where sugar dating is a better cost-benefit. I can go to the bar and get laid,but most average looking guys can not get laid every night. so every time I go to the bar and dont get a number of a girl, that Im going to hook up with. Im taking a 40-100 dollar loss when you add the expenses of club entry fee’s,drinks,food.cab fare ETC. plus time and energy. if I go out four times and dont meet a chick that can add up and even if I do meet a girl. The amount of MTE,I put into her might not even be worth ROI(return on investment) especially if we only hook up once or twice.

    I primarily use the sugar for three objectives, 1 date average girls I date in IRL with less time and energy.2.. The main reason is to date girls who are above average and super hott that I could never date IRL, these are the girls I spend 400-750 per meet for,not average girls. 3 get average and hott girls to do kinky and sexual things they wouldnt do if an allowance was not involved its hard to get in girls IRL to( show me my cum on their tongue,before they swallow it, do Ass to mouth or anal in general, dress up, homemade sextapes etc)

    also there are alot of average woman in the SB world who just want to be wined and dined,because young guys can be cheap. These arrangement can be cool. I wine and dine them,and they give me what I need without the emotional BS. Its cheaper than dating or the SB allowance world. They get nice restaraunts and I get drama free BJ’s The problem occurs that eventually some of these girls start wanting a relationship,especially because I am young.

    Escorts are too risky when you factor in legal ramification, the 1 ours or 1 cum per session rule,in most cases it is just not a good ROI,plus the whole human trafficking element makes me uncomfortable. I have ethics. I pretty much use the sugar bowl to supplement my dating in IRL so I can focus on other things,and actually date woman in IRL who I genuine like being around and not date girls because Im hard up for sex.

  211. SugarySpicey says:

    Hey Jersey – been a while.

  212. Jersey Darling says:

    And FatBastard!

  213. Jersey Darling says:

    Hi Sweetie, Dashel, Spicey 😀

  214. Jersey Darling says:

    Haven’t been on here forever, but reconnected with a blog pal which made me curious enough to stop in here so I figured I’d say hello.

    Participating in sugar feels like it was part of a previous life for me. Hope you are all doing well!

  215. SugarySpicey says:

    I’m so with you Onyx – the men here think we’re all whores, or one bad meth bust away from becoming them. So they talk to us like whores, occasionally some of the SDs on this site try to treat us like whores (and not in the sexy way), and they try to “pay” us like whores. Hell, I respect whores. But just as I am not a plumber (though I use toilets) I am not a whore.

  216. SugarySpicey says:

    For me Onyx, I am on this site just as much because of what you mentioned, “Here is one that seems to not be widely talked about. Lots of pot SBs put in their profiles they are tired of boys and want a real man.”

    I want a man I can’t overshadow, that requires success. I’m already accustomed to a very comfortable life, so he needs to be $$$ secure. My life is complicated, so he needs to be willing to tolerate barriers. I love sex, so he’d better be able to keep up. And, gifts make me wet – simple as that, just like great tits make men frisky.

    Now gentlemen, tell me how that makes me a whore who should be ashamed of “arrangements”?

  217. onyx_percula says:

    @Spicey

    You are dead on. As I posted yesterday, I found a great SB. She is smart, driven and as successful as most women 10 years her senior wished they were. She is also hot enough that Playboy invited her to audition. Bingo! Oh did I mention she can keep up with my appetites too.

    A misconception I see on this site and others of a sugary nature… A lot of newbie SDs seem to think the SBs are whores or maybe, just maybe a notch above a whore.

    A general misconception; that somehow this is a sleazy thing to be involved in. Dirty old men looking to sleep with hot young girls that only want money and gifts. Sure that describes some arrangements, SDs and SBs. Speaking mostly for myself here… Its as much about if not more so helping someone enjoy and experience more than sex, money and gifts. Helping her reach her goals. I haven’t felt as bitter sweet a day as when my first SB moved back East to take her six-figure engineering job, or when she called to tell me she has met the man of her dreams and they were engaged. This was a girl that when I met her was inches from choosing to be homeless or escorting.

    How about a slight redirection of topic…

    Little know benefits of the sugar…

    Here is one that seems to not be widely talked about. Lots of pot SBs put in their profiles they are tired of boys and want a real man. Well playing in the sugar bowl with a man twice you age, more times than not you are going to learn a hell of lot about relationships that you would never get with a 20 something “boy”.

    How about a since of pride an accomplishment. For the SB that she has managed to land a successful older man, keep him happy and around for more than a couple of weeks/months.

  218. sweetie says:

    Question about the blue SD members. If I email somebody who’s not a premium member, they can’t read the message unless they upgrade their account, correct?
    Now, can they see who sent the message and check out that person’s profile, though?

    There’s a blue guy I really wish he’d upgrade. He doesn’t log in much at all. Any ideas?

  219. Dashel says:

    “A Sugar Daddy invited me to meet for coffee as our first meeting. Should that be a red flag?”

    I always did a short meeting with the option to go longer if it worked out. Although I have to say I came around to the use of Skype for a quick hello. Initially I wasnt really keen on it. Once I tried it though it was fine. I weeded out one person I didnt click with and found I would have a good conversation with another person.

  220. Dashel says:

    [i]Other women on have periodically posted gravatars showing some leg or cleavage. Seems logical that you should be doing the same.[/i]

    Seconded. Legs please.

  221. gtt_envy says:

    @sugaryspice, Ok thanks for clearing that up!!

  222. SugarySpicey says:

    Going to the tropics in less than a week now. Looking forward to some dirty times with “The Pirate!!”

  223. SugarySpicey says:

    GTT – I don’t degrade youth – I am not old in the slightest, so I have no insecurity about my age. I am improving with age, when I’m in a room, no 22 year old I’ve met can compete. 😉

    I do think men who want empty heads are a bit troubled and sad. Of course an SB should be smoking hot, why would an SD pursue her otherwise? Of course an SB should be light and fun – like a tropical escape.

    But, some men on this blog discuss behaviors and conditions of very young, immature SBs and then mischaracterize all SBs as acting like that ill-behaved subset.

    I do not sugar date so that I can “drop a crappy part-time job and get better grades” as was hypothesized above. But, even after reading my profile I continue to get messages from men who think I do.

    I just try to throw in a counterpoint now and then.

  224. RussianSB says:

    I hope you had Happy Labor Day, sugars and workaholics !
    We going to selebrate 886th birthday of Moscow – I hope will be 886 candels !
    And Labor Day we have 1 of May :)

  225. gtt_envy says:

    @Sugaryspicey, I think you are jealous of younger SBs you constantly degrade youth why is that?

    If I wanted a smart driven woman to talk work, principles, and business I would go find one my age!! If I want a younger smoking hot woman who is about light conversation and fun.

    For me a SB has to feel unattainable in RL since I’m mid 30’s I don’t see SBs over 25 I date women over 25.

  226. SugarySpicey says:

    Misconception #2: that SBs are bubble-headed, 20 year olds with no education, career, or interests outside of fashion and the hottest bar. Sugar is a fetish and there are real SBs on this site who sugar because it’s hot, not of a necessity. If you are looking for a woman with brains and class you can find her on SA; she’s the one who knows how to use a semi-colon.

  227. SugarySpicey says:

    Misconception: that being verified means anything. Someone can be verified and still just toying with you and pic collecting. The only real verification is an SD who follows through on what he’s offered – before trying to get horizontal.

  228. FatBastardSD says:

    @Angela

    A nice topic for a change, keep up the good work. You are setting a bad example on the blog though. Other women on have periodically posted gravatars showing some leg or cleavage. Seems logical that you should be doing the same.

  229. Angela says:

    All personalities and perspectives are welcome in the blog, while personal attacks and name calling are not. It’s inevitable that there will be disagreements but let’s handle it as mature adults with class to keep the dialog constructive and respectful. Please refer to the “Blog Etiquette” for more details. For the newbies, please take a look at the “Sugar Daddy Dating Tips” section on the right for a list of commonly discussed topics and the “SD and SB Blog List” section to see the perspective of other sugars. Now comment away and let’s enjoy the blog…

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