4 years ago
Living the Sugar Baby Double Life

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Diana Price had “Wonder Woman”. Barbara Gordon had “Bat Girl”. These are just a few examples of women who led a double life to fulfill all their needs. Sure, these are fictional characters. But there are countless women who do practically the same. Namely, being a Sugar Baby.

There are a variety of reasons as to why a woman would feel the need to keep Sugaring a secret. Here are a few:

Living under parent(s) roof

Fear of backlash from family or friends

Fear of career backlash

Being married

Having a IRL boyfriend

It’s unfortunate that society—not morality or a guilty conscience—is responsible for creating half of the fears and concerns listed above. But until then the best you, as a Sugar Baby living a double life, can do is learn to deal.

Don’t commit to a lifestyle or arrangement you can’t follow through with. If one of your Sugar Daddies offers a trip to Bali, but you’re worried the IRL boyfriend will become suspicious that is a red flag. You need to understand the parameters of an arrangement and be able to commit.

Do hide your wealth. Sugaring looks worse on paper than it actually is. Remember to keep it classy. Throwing your money around like it’s nothing calls unwanted attention to your affairs.

Don’t take your Sugar Daddy home…if your name isn’t on the lease or mortgage. I don’t care if mom and dad are away on their umpteenth honeymoon re-enactment trip to Aruba or Cancun. It will be uncomfortable for both of you. This is also a surefire way to eliminate mystery. And trust me, you need mystery.

Do confide in at least one friend. I cannot stress this enough. You will need moral and safety support when dabbling into the Sugar Bowl. Having one friend who is “in-the-know” not only relieves the anxiety and stress which can result in “word-vomiting” to the wrong person. He or she will also double as a security measure. Give them details about your POT dates, and setup an exit plan if the date is bad.

How else do you handle your double life?

Any other good tips of your own?

Leave a Reply

50 Responses to “Living the Sugar Baby Double Life”

  1. Rose says:

    Has anyone had any luck with sugar daddies in south Florida? I’m in Naples.

  2. FreshieSugar says:

    Honestly, I don’t see anything wrong with talking about teachers who are SBs. I mean, it’s not like they were exposing their identities.

    Why not look at the benefit this gives to women? At least now, women who are working in education see this as a viable option or lifestyle. All because the stories caught their attention and gave some info about how much help they could get

  3. sweetie says:

    flyr, I just looked into that article and some other talking about Florida, the capital of student sugar babies, apparently. Let’s just say we’re all whores and man, we desperately need to grow some morals!

    Why do people give a shit?

  4. flyr says:

    What was SA Thinking

    I thought the joint sponsorship of the ill fated LA Sugar party with Hustler (apparently raided by the police due to the lack of a liquor license) represented the low point of the SA orbit but they have apparently outdone themselves.

    There are articles floating around the press, based apparently on SA press releases touting the number of public school employees on SA. The press of course picket up on it as if they were from Backpage, apparently thanks to the SA PR release.

    While it is reassuring to know that not all female teachers are entertaining their 14 year old students in the backrooms and back seats, this was not something that SA needed to share with the press, especially knowing how the press was going to handle it.

    For a group which proclaims they are benefitting women, I think they just took a big step backwards.

  5. euphoria/retired sb says:

    As for the double life… all of my extremly close friends know what I do. If I have a man I m dating that wants to help me out and is alittle older then I am, thats my business. if im questioned about it… I dont discuss my finances with anyone! Sorry!

  6. euphoria/retired sb says:

    Russian sb- Sorry, I thinkni confused you with soneone elese who used to blog. Forget her name…. but she was on a lot!

  7. gtt_envy says:

    The double life goes both ways unless you only meet up during travel for work or similar. Or are so wealthy you live on a compound where no one really sees who enters and leaves. I’ve had friends ask many times “Why are you going Atlanta again? Didn’t you just go?”, “Why are you travelling so much these days?”

  8. RussianSB says:

    Zack… Dr.Evil should be punished for that !

  9. DarkHorseSD says:

    SBinSD:

    You already sound separated from the street walkers. Why don’t you put the paragraph you wrote here into your profile? It sounds so natural and is highly descriptive.

  10. Zack says:

    @RSB, yeah….I feel maybe the dolphins have it right. It was funny that yesterday Obama received the 1972 Dolphins team, who did not visit at the time because of Nixon’s scandals (Watergate). With the NSA, et c., I think it is funny.

    Watch out….dolphin terrorists on all coasts charging Washington. They need reverse SCUBA…now they just die on our beaches :(

  11. flyr says:

    ” How do you separate yourself from the street walkers but still make it known that you are not totally against certain arrangements, such as having a partner that is discreet and mostly play. ”

    You may be looking for a line in the sand where in reality there are just different shades . That’s does not preclude making it clear what you are not looking for and more importantly what you are looking for.

    Your “not looking for ” list might include
    One night stands
    multiple partners
    anything that draws blood

    Your looking for list might include
    Monthly allowance
    Great company
    Discrete meetings
    Patient lover
    Some travel ( or no travel)

  12. new&confusedSB says:

    I guess I not able to post my email as I would like for help. I recently joined. Struggling in life very badly. I’m looking for a SD many of the women are talking about where they see them once a month and give everything to the men as they do for the SB’s. I’ve met some very nice SD but are asking for a REAL relationship. One asking to help me by living with him as long as its a real gf relationship. As much as I’d like to 1-being that he would probably treat me amazing but 2- it would be unfair for me to like to him & say I like him when I do not. What do you do in an offer like that? Leave it? Or work with it?

  13. SBinSD says:

    @sweetie This is a problem that I have already encountered in my short time on SA. How do you separate yourself from the street walkers but still make it known that you are not totally against certain arrangements, such as having a partner that is discreet and mostly play. I have been in a relationship like this before and it was GREAT!!! I would love to do that again but that was a special circumstance and I don’t want to make it seem for those who are looking for more that I am just a quick buck type of girl because no matter what the arrangement consist of my hopes will always be long term.

  14. SugarySpicey says:

    Good to see a little life on the blog again!

    The double life is tricky, you’re always juggling something. Where’d the Jimmy Choos come from? eBay. Who keeps sending flowers? Oh those are from my dad.

    But, I’ve been sugar free for a few months now, so I haven’t had to hide a sugar haul in a while.

  15. RussianSB says:

    Zack, “So long and thanks for all the fish” is original name of book for movie plot !

  16. Zack says:

    Sry, can’t post under “Deserve” or “Snowden”….

    2^2^2

    So long and thanks for all the fish.

  17. sweetie says:

    Wow, the amount of incivility in some of the profiles on SA is unbelievably high. Makes you wonder what exactly does SD/SB mean for some people? Doesn’t that defeat the purpose of SA? I still remember the ladies on the blog saying what a SD is or is not… I’m sure the serious SDs ask themselves where all the real girls are?!

  18. sweetie says:

    Onyx, I appreciate your advice. My problem is that I don’t find him cute, so that’s why I don’t see it happening. I always see something in men, they don’t have to be “pretty boys” by any means, just to stir up something in me or at least make me think, “maybe, I can see some potential.” And I’m not talking about hotness or not, just some type of attraction.

    Russian, thanks you, dear for your input. It’s much appreciated. Good to see you back here :)

  19. onyx_percula says:

    Some thoughts on the whole discrete double life thing.

    Make sure you are comfortable in your own skin so to speak. Ask yourself these questions and if you don’t have a answer you can live with, you should re-think the sugar lifestyle.

    What do you tell a co-worker or friend catches you in a situation with your SD that it is obvious your are more than “just friends”? What about a family member or a family friend?

    Is your pot SD carefree or needs to be discrete? What does he call you if one of his friends or co-worker or family member, etc catches you in that situation? Are you comfortable with potentially being introduced as a GF or SB? Will he respect you choice to be carefree or discrete?

    Best to get these out of the way pretty early on or a big disaster could be on your sugar adventure.

  20. onyx_percula says:

    @sweetie

    A thought from a SD that’s been there done that. Take your time, why women think chemistry is this stroke of lighting that strikes you or doesn’t instantly “at first sight” are just wrong. Attraction is complicated, give it some time and more exposure if everything else is right with him.

    From the SD side I have met pot SBs that are hot as hell, but just about everything else about them was a turn off, even after 3-4 dates. Then SBs that are just plain (they are not turning any heads) not ugly or anything, just plain that after 3-4 dates all I wanted to do was jump her bones all night all.

  21. flyr says:

    @hush re crazies

    Better screening may be the answer. With thousands of sites catering to various sexual needs and fantasies there are lots here who probably belong somewhere else or just see this as a backup source for whatever.

    My suggestion to a former SB was that she think about her filter criteria. She was more worried about loosing a real potential than discouraging a probable unsuitable or even dangerous. I would be very sensitive to signals ( situational awareness). If your environment allows it, do more brief , casual interviews (coffee or a glass of wine) rather than more significant events.

    On the other side less difficult signals include a potential SB who is either too “non-discriminatory” or too fussy.

  22. RussianSB says:

    Euphoria. I am in Moscow, not in NY. But it is Sugar Capitals. All you need – to be active , and screen some real gems from wannabee daddies.

  23. RussianSB says:

    Sweetie, it is just not going to work.
    I had potential SD month ago in my area, he want provide me with everything, but he insist on serious relationship. Relationship is not problem for me. But I just not see “us” together, age differense, he is jelous and drama guy, and I am not. He is kind of boring and I am used to bright personalities, fun and communicative guys. Last detail can add charm to age difference or average looks for me. I also cannot imagine us going for vacation. He is generous and I am spoiled brat. And , unfortunately, that is the only thing we match together. Sad. If there no chemistry, it will take elaborate work from your side. No fun at all. But being in sugar mean you can get someone you have little chance to get for traditional dating. Like grate bisinessman, or tv-produser , sport seleb. Someone experiensed, well-spoken, well known, smart, gallant seduser. Who will worship your young body and develop your inner goddes :)

  24. sweetie says:

    Ladies and gents, I need some help. There’s an SD who is very interested, I’m just not sure about the chemistry. Physically, he’s in good shape. However, I don’t think I’d date him, IRL. Any words for me? Has anybody been in a similar situation? What did you do, if so?

  25. euphoria/retired sb says:

    Russian sb/ you still in nyc? I seem to find a lot of great spots in nyc to pick them up at any time , day or night!

  26. Poppi says:

    I notice that the whole topic of compensation is often skirted in these discussions. I have found that putting the offer out clearly and early is the best policy.

    There is also some misconception about how much money changes hands. Some SBs apparently think successful, wealthy men will depart with thousands on a whim. But unless you have stumbled on the 0.01% as opposed to the 2%, men of this class got there for a reason, one being good habits with their money.

    Second the “market” for reasonably attractive, safe gentlemen is pretty competitive. From my experience there are a good percentage of attractive SBs that will offer just for a great date, dinner, with little compensation. And sad to say, the ridiculous excuse for an economy for younger people has created some desperation.

    Finally, I really think the majority of men like to play to field. I travel and have layovers and like companionship to “see the sights” and go out. Those are not SB arrangements, they are pay for play. I am just being realistic.

    The key of course is to be upfront and honest about it. I don’t see the women who respond having a problem with that even if it is not the fantasy SD image others may hold.

  27. SBinSD says:

    @Daydreamer

    Thank you for sharing. I am feeling exactly how you where feeling , I am a fuller girl who is of multiple races. I reluctantly signed up because I know this is something that I want to do even though I felt as though it might be a long shot. I was on a hunt for a girl like me to prove to myself that I was not the only one who looked like me wanting this and that it was possible for a girl like me to be successful at it. I am so happy to hear that you are finding your little notch and growing from there. I too know I am very rough around the edges and it may take a couple SD to whip me into shape but I am determined and most of all honest and genuine which I think is a plus with so many willing to change face at the snap of some men’s fingers. I would love to get in contact or stay in contact but I am not sure how one does that SB to SB. Does anyone know and would you be open to that daydreamer?

  28. RussianSB says:

    Everything can be verified, looks, age, name, income. But that woman or man are really genuine about arrangement, that cannot be verified.

  29. RussianSB says:

    Euphoria, threre is a lot sugardaddies off-line, nothing change, just you are open to that consept now. I also can add, that beauties get such proposals from time to time. Maybe more often in Russia than in emansipated US. I am dressed normal, not cheap&flirty, from makeup use only lip gloss and mascara, but I often get proposals from real-life men to take care about me or go on exotic vacation – all that offers only for good START of relationship. I love that site only because it helps me to understand nature of such arrangement better, now I can negotiate conditions of arrangement and talk about more easily, before I just did it by intuition. I am in Moscow, so only phony daddies from that site contact me, someone who never keep a woman and not going to do it. Who online everyday here, always active profiles, good incomes, but cannot find sugarbaby from 30000 ladies. Even in that huge well-organised web database, which is more easy than in real life dating world.

  30. hush hush says:

    I do talk to a lot of older men, being a mature woman, I find comfort in communicating with people a little older than I am. I look forward to being able to talk to people in their 40’s, that would be more fun.

    Just know ladies, just like any other dating site, we have many scammers on here too. I know this is a different kind of arrangement, but I think some people take their fantasies and weirdness a little too far.

  31. hush hush says:

    I’m finding it difficult already. I have met a bunch of crazy SD’s, one apparently got into an accident driving to come visit me. (believe that, you will believe anything), oooh and he had a partner (male) that he wanted to bring over so we could have a threesome……..just lovely!
    The second guy I met, thought it was okay to talk so much sex and what he would do to me and what he has done to other women. Strange things really happen on this site. I hope I can meet someone soon.

  32. sweetie says:

    Here’s a sexy song on this hot Saturday. Hope you enjoy, lovelies!
    [img]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G3MhF7f0i2k[img]

  33. flyr says:

    @Daydreamer – thanks for sharing the positives.

  34. euphoria/retired sb says:

    Wow, so many new blog topcs. I just thought id drop in to take a quick peek at the blog and see whats new! It seems that latley i have been finding natural sds everywhere. I think that the concept of sa has opened a lot of men up to seeking sbs offline as well. Im loving it!

  35. FreshieSugar says:

    I agree with flyr.

    Aside from grants there are quarterly scholarships online from private institutions. Tell them that you applied for one based on your major and were awarded a scholarship.

    Also, creating a fictitious boyfriend works as well. When they start being insistent on meeting him, then create a break up lol

  36. flyr says:

    ” afford things? I got into this because I wanted help with tuition,”

    You received a grant……..

    I had a friend who simply used his company to award a scholarship grant of several young ladies. Came with a congratulatory letter that looked very official. It eliminated the growing risk of putting them on the company payroll (as was very common in past years) and inviting a suit and getting the other ladies in the office into worrying about things.

  37. Little.E says:

    I’ve found it to be pretty hard already. I have only just become serious with my very first SD and constantly running around like a chicken with my head cut off. I’m always thinking about him and how he needs me at a certain time but I feel guilty about leaving my new room mate an my new college friends behind so early. It’s tough but I’m having fun. With him I have luxury and things I could have never even dreamed of but then I can go back to my sorority house and just chill out with my sisters like the normal girl next door I’ve always been. Even though it can be stressful I’m having a great time.

  38. Daydreamer says:

    @ Littlemissbliss – Maybe try looking at other places besides SA? Maybe reevaluate what you are looking for or what you are offering?

    Just in case anyone remembers me from a couple blogs back, my situation with that gentleman ended although not because I asked for an allowance. It kind of ran its course because he wasn’t sure what he was looking for and had his own issues to sort out. But it’s ok and I learned a lot about myself and dating someone older.

    Also, I ran into a gentleman I went on a date with once before, completely by accident. Although we liked each other it was just bad timing and we weren’t clear on what we wanted (me being new to sugaring and he wasn’t sure about dating someone as young as 25 would work for him) so we never had a second date. Now a couple months later, we both had clearer heads and unsuccessful relationships to learn from. We immediately set up a date, which was yesterday. We’re both are optimistic about this arrangement and honestly, I don’t think I would have been ready for it without dating the guy in between.

    I guess what I took from this (and trying to share) is take baby steps if needed. I do think I have potential to be a great sugar baby and older men are already drawn to me. As one man that approached me last week said “It’s just how you carry yourself” (which I was surprised because I was just in jeans and a tee eating lunch). But I know I have a lot to learn and a lot to work on with myself. I’m still very rough around the edges.

    I’m not trying to tell people to lower their standards because we all deserve the best. But perhaps realize where you are in your sugaring journey. I know I’m just getting started and have a long way to go before I can consider myself “good”. My new guy sees so much potential in me and doesn’t mind helping me buff out those rough edges. Other men would have no patience for that. Hopefully once this situation runs its course, I will be better, more confident, and stronger. And from there I can talk to those men that wouldn’t have wanted to deal with a newbie.

    Oh and a total sidebar: I don’t know why people are pushing this idea that all sugar babies look like Victoria Secret’s models and sorority girls. Love older men and I wanted to try sugaring two years ago but I was so sure no one would ever consider me. I’m a size 14/16 and weigh almost 200 lbs (although no one would ever guess I weigh that much because I carry it well). One woman even had the nerve to tell me that I wouldn’t have any luck because I was black. The only reason I had enough confidence to try this is I finally realized older men WERE looking at me and approaching me. So don’t ever let anyone tell you you’re not good enough. Not everyone likes the same thing. And I’m so glad to see the women here in their 30’s and up because otherwise I would have thought it was too late for me to “start” at 25.

  39. sweetie says:

    ^ “i’ll worry about living a double life if and when that happens, I guess.”
    Hehehe! I hear you, bliss! You can say that twice.

  40. I *wish* this was a problem for me. When I first joined , I thought finding a new and compatible SD would be no issue, since I’ve connect well with good men in person when I’ve come across them over the course of my life. But Atlanta has proven to be a complete dead zone, at least in terms of who’s out there, on SA site. i’ll worry about living a double life if and when that happens, I guess.

  41. RussianSB says:

    What about bank loan ?

  42. CuriousBee says:

    @Danielle

    Telling your parents about the money requires an explanation. Solution? Just don’t tell them. That’s my approach at least!

    As far as gifts go, they are exactly that – I tell my parents that someone who’s rather fond of me likes to buy me things (if it’s super expensive, or of a sexier nature I tend to stick it in a hiding place. Which is a bit risky, but has been working well thus far!)

    :)

  43. Danielle says:

    Does anyone have any good excuses for why you are suddenly able to afford things? I got into this because I wanted help with tuition, but where do I tell my parents where the money is coming from? They know I don’t have enough time for a job.

    Suggestions?

  44. RussianSB says:

    And in small cities… ok, I heard then in Switzerland they have tradition to have mistress in other city, because in your own everybody know everyone :)

  45. RussianSB says:

    Not to run into friends, I recommend not to go to the most popular and featured restorants of the season. Big city offer a lot of places to choose from.

  46. RussianSB says:

    DarkHorseSD, indeed… but view from 20 floor is so romantic !
    Especially in the center of Moscow or Kiev with old charming buildinds arround.

  47. FreshieSugar says:

    @FatBastardSD I think it’s more your anal retentiveness lol. The important thing to note is how hard it is to come clean about being a sugar baby. We do often lead a double life and its nice to know how to deal.

  48. FatBastardSD says:

    There are only five points given, and Angela states that 1/2 are due to morality or a guilty conscience. Do we split this up into two groups, or does one point belong to both, or is one point a mix of both groups?

    I think we need to sort this out before we move on to discussing the topic or perhaps Angela can clarify her position.

    Am I anal retentive? Maybe, everyone tells me it is one of my best qualities though.

  49. DarkHorseSD says:

    It being summer, I understand many first dates being set up on popular roof top lounges. However, this is a very bad idea since escape from there is difficult – often involving a single elevator that could also have a long line.

  50. Angela says:

    All personalities and perspectives are welcome in the blog, while personal attacks and name calling are not. It’s inevitable that there will be disagreements but let’s handle it as mature adults with class to keep the dialog constructive and respectful. Please refer to the “Blog Etiquette” for more details. For the newbies, please take a look at the “Sugar Daddy Dating Tips” section on the right for a list of commonly discussed topics and the “SD and SB Blog List” section to see the perspective of other sugars. Now comment away and let’s enjoy the blog…

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