6 years ago
Every Day is Valentine’s Day in the Sugar Bowl

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Hello everyone… I’d like to thank all of you for your understanding and patience with our blog hiccup last week. Now that the blog drama is finally out of our way, it’s time for me to write a new blog and to wish all of you fellow Sugar Daddies and Sugar Babies a Happy Saint Valentine’s Day!

For those living outside the sugar bowl, today is the only day where every man will be unable to get away with NOT showing their appreciation for their special woman or vice versa. But in the sugar bowl, it’s just another day. Because there isn’t just ONE DAY set aside to show your appreciation to your Sugar Baby (or Sugar Daddy), it’s expected every day, all year long. A good Sugar Daddy or Sugar Baby knows how to appreciate that someone special every single day of the year, not just when society requests him or her to do so.

While women living outside the sugar bowl are struggling with disappointments in their relationships and feeling under-appreciated when it isn’t a holiday; Sugar Babies here are taking matters into their own hands. A Sugar Baby recognizes her own desires and reaches out to grab what she knows she deserves. She doesn’t wait for a man to attempt to figure it out for himself; she lists her expectations upfront and does not settle for anyone who won’t meet them head on.

All year long, the experienced Sugar Baby gets showered with gifts and affection, and romantic getaways courtesy of her Sugar Daddy. Every sugar relationship is a little different, and even if it starts out as a no strings attached arrangement, there is always the chance it will evolve into something more. Occasionally sugar turns into love, and sometimes even marriage.

This is the only dating situation where women are less likely to fall into the traditional role of being let down by the opposite sex. By arranging a relationship on their own terms, and omitting the unwanted aspects of a traditional relationship, there is less room for drama, disappointments, or negativity.

Valentine’s Day would take on a whole new meaning for the single women who dread February 14th every year, if they knew it didn’t have to be that way. Traditional relationships are not for everybody, and for some, the sugar lifestyle can be a welcome alternative. A Sugar Daddy has the means and the aspiration to spoil more often than the average boyfriend or husband. They seem to understand a woman’s need to feel special and appreciated, and have the luxury to focus almost exclusively on that aspect. For this reason, each and every day in the sugar bowl feels a little like Valentine’s Day.

For everyone else out there, there are perhaps just a handful of such days when romance is celebrated. An anniversary, a birthday if you’re lucky, holidays, or a special day like today.  But if today is the only day this year you get to feel adored, it’s going to be a long year ahead… unless you decide it’s time to take the plunge into the Sugar Bowl. For those of you who are new to our website, welcome to the Sugar Family.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

How are you spending, or how did you spend, your Valentine’s Day?

Did you celebrate Valentine’s Day with your Sugar Daddy or Sugar Baby?

What did you get for a Valentine’s Day gift this year?   What would you like to receive next year?

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720 Responses to “Every Day is Valentine’s Day in the Sugar Bowl”

  1. Lydia Bennett says:

    thanks DaddyGT for taking the time to process and answer me..Geez i thought the Sugar bowl was NSA and NO Drama…and..statistically short term anyway. My idea was actually just for the first step in the screening, authenticity, respect, yes, simple objectives, not a detailed reference of the person..Kinda like, would you make first contact with a 100% feedback SB or SD? or a 96%…absolutely your choice..read a couple of comments, think (with the big head :))) etc.
    I “get” everything you said, for sure..but you just turned sugar FUN and simplicityon it’s ear…and into IRL??? just sayin…..
    Im smiling !!!! and i want you..ha

  2. Emily says:

    Thank you for the investing advice everyone!

  3. DorkyGuy says:

    New blog topic –>

  4. DaddyGT says:

    @Lydia Bennet
    Ratings would not work on any dating site, even in the sugar bowl. There are just too many issues.

    Ultimately, the main issue is that dates and relationships are not really repeatable, or replicable experiences. Shopping experience on eBay and the like, tend to be repeatable. So, you can expect ‘more of the same’ from any seller or buyer. In relationships on the other hand, the same is definitely not true. That’s why rankings/ratings by one person are meaningless to virtually everyone else.

    For a rather extreme example of this, look at the sheer number of people who successfully navigate from one acrimonious relationship where people were calling each other all the names under the Sun (and then some), into a new relationship with a new someone who finds them to be the best thing since, well, sliced bread.

    Ebay processes relatively simple transactions. You are rating rather simple things.
    * Did the buyer pay promptly?
    * Was the product as described?
    * Was the product shipped? And shipped on time?
    * If there were any problems, were these resolved quicly?
    All of which can be answered fairly objectively. Even then, the arbitration system there is testament that the system is not fallible.

    In dating on the other hand, the only questions you can probably ask objectively are
    * Does this person look like they do in their photos?
    (which in some cases is fairly meaningless due to obscured/partial public photos)
    * Did this person show up to the date, and show up on time?
    (which can also be meaningless, if it was a newbie)

    Beyond this, everything else is incredibly subjective
    * GSOH/Funny – what one person finds funny, will not be funny for the next. At the same, the people we associate with bring out different sides of our nature. We might be one thing with one person, and be totally different with another, depending on our interaction with *that person*.
    * Generous – See above. Plus, the truth is, our generosity levels do depend in part on how attracted and attached we are to the other person.
    * Great in bed – See above as well, except in some Kink circles
    * Interesting/Good Company – See above. I know if I was dragged to see old churches every week, I would be totally bored. For some, that would be bliss.
    * Wealth – Even after a meet, it would still be difficult for a SB to objectively say just how affluent a SD is. Whether affluence and generosity are related also remains to be proven
    * Subjective assessment of the same outcome – For example, for many “puts out on the first date” is a great positive, whilst for some, it is a total negative. But then again, the fact that I put out on Date #1 with SB X, does not mean I will do the same with SB Y. See above on dates not really being replicable experiences.
    * Etc. etc.

    Even if you could get over the subjective/objective measure issues, there are still a bunch of societal/cultural issues to overcome.

    On a site like eBay, the more (positive) feedback a person has, the better. If the posts in this thread are anything to go by, the opposite is true in dating. The most obvious questions become … “if you have such great feedback, why are you still on the market? Do *you* have unreasonable expectations of the other party? Or are all your relationships incredibly short lived? Basically, more positive feedback in dating is not necessarily a good thing.

    And in dating, ignorance is largely bliss. I am yet to meet a single person who goes out of their way to find out, or indeed wants to know what someone’s ex thinks/thought of them, before their first date. That’s just a whole different can of worms. Unfortunately, the truth is that you do tend to need to find your own water mark with each and every person you date.

    You then have privacy issues too. Do you really want to know who else your pot SD or SB has gone out on dates with, or indeed been in a relationship with, even before you’ve gone on a date with them?

    Verification is extremely important. On eBay, money changes hands, and whilst you can create a few fake transactions, or get your buddies to ‘buy’ from you to create a few good reviews, eBay still gets their cut, and so this gets rather expensive rather quickly. On a dating site, verification problem is infinitely more difficult to manage.
    * Is the person doing the rating is real (easy to create a fake account, no?)
    * Did the dates/relationship take place as described?
    * Was the assessment objectively* fair?
    and always, does another random stranger’s subjective assessment actually matter to your dating choices?

    You also run into the issue of time, and hazy memories. Do you rank every date? Do you just give one score at the end of the relationship? In that case, is this then an assessment of the overall relationship (even when it has soured), or just of the initial impressions? How accurate are these recollections going to be? How do you weight a 1-date rating vs a 1-year relationship rating in computing your total scores?

    The bottom line, is that rating and dating do not work. Ultimately, as an individual, you have to come up with your own rating scheme. And also your own rating for each individual you come across, or indeed go on a date with.

    I could go on, but the rating/dating issue has a lot of non-trivial problems that are virtually impossible to objectively overcome. Compounding this too, is a question of just how relevant and value adding the results are, even when you do overcome such issues.

    The only way anything remotely like this works, is with the high end dating services, where a relationship manager interviews many Men and Women, and then tries to use their intuition (call it expertise if you will) if you will, to try and pair people up. Hell, they’ll even do home visits, and maybe even suggest wardrobe changes, and dating coaching lessons where appropriate. Even these too, are often followed up by post date interviews, to further improve on the relationship manager’s assessment of what both parties are looking for. But then again, when you are paying $XXk for a service, you do expect some hand holding.

    Maybe it would be more helpful for this discussion if you proposed the list of metrics you think could be objectively measured, and are relevant to anyone considering a date.

    If you had a working/objective/scalable rating mechanism for dates, there are a whole lot of dating websites that would be willing to pay you a ton of money!! A lo of money.

  5. Dutch Girl says:

    @Tina I like baking too! Do you have good recipe for Cinnabon rolls, the London SB’s are addicted to these.

    @StormCat We have a fab mobile German bakery in London now with fabulous Rye bread. I normally make my own bread (I lurve good food) but if I am lazy, I go there.

    @English Rose Hunky Army instructors can be pacified with freshly baked goodies and a smile, they’re not that tough! Actually now I think of it, most people can be sweetened with freshly baked pastries, the ultimate personal gift.

  6. Hgirl says:

    Oops sorry pressed enter before I replied. I told him sorry, it wasn’t going to work out blah blah blah and started seeing this new guy. We went on a trip this weekend and had lots of fun! I got presents. :)

    p.s. damn those are high heels! i’d be towering at like 6’3 with those on!

  7. Hgirl says:

    I did not understand now you wrote you realized you do not need a SD. pls correct me if I am wrong, but you asked everybody advice here coz your pot SD (who you liked) did not offer enough to cover your expenses (or part of it) coz you have to pay rent, tuition ….
    And you were afraid if you agree to be with him, but later get a better offer you would want to drop him and get together with a guy with a better offer. Right?

    I didn’t say I didn’t want a SD, I said I didn’t want cash!

  8. Nwsugarbaby says:

    @Dorky

    Haha lets get real who really wants to be around 1000 woman. I think 10 would be hard enough to handle. Lets face it even woman have our “needs”. You would be rather busy incredibly often plus all the dates and birthdays. I now realize why most SDs only are with one SB at a time it makes things less complicated and time consuming.

    I know I couldnt give my all to more than one sugar daddy.

    @ContentSB you bring up a good point. 250 each week would be a never ending bloody nightmare.

  9. DorkyGuy says:

    ackkkkkk!!!!!

  10. ContentSB says:

    @DG — or even worse…they never fully got in sync and 250 would have it each week…then what?

  11. DorkyGuy says:

    I finally got to talk to Blog Jester via email…

    I think he is trying to get me involved in some multilevel marketing scheme. He said if I recruit 10 SBs, and they each recruit 10 SBs, and they each recruit 10 SBs, in 3 weeks I could have 1000 SBs.

    The flaw in his plan is that eventually all of their periods would sync up, and one week a month I would want to kill myself.

  12. ContentSB says:

    Why is the blog so dead the night I’m bored out of my mind and need entertainment??

    Blog Jester…where arrreeee yoooouuu???

  13. Tina says:

    @bloggods: please share my e-mail with English Rose and meg (although not Trailor-Tim, I don’t think I trust that redneck! 😉 )

  14. Stormcat says:

    Awe Jenniebaba ~ That is sosweet! Kisses and hugs with an exclamation. 8)

  15. Stormcat says:

    Oh Content ~ I apologize for being so behind on ink matters. I guess white ink would be really handy for snow capped mountain tattoos. Imagine what they could do with that in micro-ink!

  16. ContentSB says:

    @jenniebug — ugh…vodka has been known to take over my soul from time to time. I feel your pain. Glad to see you’re back :)

    @Stormcat — I haven’t heard of that…but I have heard of getting tattoos with white ink so they’re not nearly as visible. They can really only be seen if you’re really tan/dark skinned.

  17. DorkyGuy says:

    @jennie, not in actuality. all humor and bravado. unlike SDinLA, who I am sure actually has a chocolate fountain full of SBs

  18. Stormcat says:

    English Rose ~ I know what you mean about english baked goods being rather sparse. I spent the first month of my Sabattical in london looking for a decent bakary. Finally found a jewish bake shop in the street market within walking distance of Lincoln’s Inn Fields where I was then living. Very good rye and pumpernickle breads but nothing in the pastry genre.

  19. @Tina & Phone Guy – I would love your recipes too.

    @ English Rose – I have a really great recipe for chocolate chip-peanut butter cookies; also for english toffee; also for banana nut bread if you’re interested in any.

  20. Stormcat says:

    Has anyone heard about the latest craze in ink being tatoos so minaturized that one has to view them under a microscope. Bodes well for rich guys with small body parts.

  21. Tina says:

    @English Rose: I have a TON of recipes for lots of interesting items, if you have a hankering for something just let me know! US versus English bakery cuisine could be an interesting experiment! :) I have a weakness for bakery goods, especially those that include chocolate and/or cream cheese (cream cheese icing is the ONLY way to go, IMHO)

  22. @phone guy- -Umm… I must have missed the memo… Congratulations on that DorkyGuy….

  23. Lydia Bennett says:

    i read previous blogs about blacklist and white list..and i dont mean that..i mean just like ebay..EVERYONE ie both or all sides of the service/transaction need to gather/keep 100% positive feedback to stay “competitive” in fact once the agreement is complete, one actually seeks a good review..it has become an excellent regulator..
    maybe no one on here is an ebay customer..or maybe its just effective down here..

  24. PhoneGuy says:

    @meg, I’d believe 30%. I mean what percentage of married couples use them regularly?

    @jennie, He has a monument! Haven’t you been paying attention? 😉

  25. @Dorkyguy- Depends on what you have behind the zipper….Lol

  26. DorkyGuy says:

    If a girl is about to run into an ex, she can get revenge by unbuttoning a button and looking radiant.

    I don’t have buttons, but maybe just unzipping my fly would work?

  27. @ Lydia Bennett

    ive heard and supported this thought/idea for a while..im a techno idiot for sure..missed the dot com era working in sport and travelling etc. but it is this::: could we have a feedback / rating collection just like ebay has, Everyone knows how that works..So…on a site like this, a self regulating mechanism for authenticity..etc..? i imagine it would be able to divide up a lot of sections of sugar styles, qualities . what users find, like, experience from the members so one would be able to screen/choose more easily and honestly.
    is this a silly idea???”

    It also works incredibly well for escorts. I believe this was discussed several blogs back.

    Because emotions are involved in sugar-dating (i.e., angry love-lorn ex-es, etc. etc. etc.) the conclusion was reached that reviews/rating was not the way to go.

    I think the idea of a white-list (i.e., private positive referrals) as well as a blacklist (for conning, scamming, & dangerous SB/SDs) was tossed around.

  28. @SDinLA – oh, sudden thought burst. I’ve only had sex with regularly-promiscuous, suddenly non-monogamous, suddenly-sexually active, and suddenly-promiscuous men. Different sample groups completely from 25-35-y.o. women. I’ve given the most STD-risk-related lectures to the later three groups.

  29. Lydia Bennett says:

    hello,
    feb 19, at 1021pm….scroll back please..
    or should i shut up now?

  30. Anna Molly says:

    DG ~ I’m sure you do! xoxo 😉

  31. mmm…no, sea man

    speaking of excellent vaginal hygiene…there was a feature article on condoms in my local newspaper.

    apparently:
    1) Condoms are used by less than 30% of adults in the U.S.
    2) There are spray-on latex condoms!!

  32. DorkyGuy says:

    “Oh Dorky…you’re too much! :D” ~Anna Molly

    Yeah, I get that a lot 😛

  33. @ Dorky Guy He didn’t take over my body. He stole my soul. Haha…

  34. Anna Molly says:

    Eww! Lol 😀

  35. Anna Molly says:

    Oh Dorky…you’re too much! 😀

  36. © DorkyGuy- Ty, omgz so i had an amazing adventure where i had to perfonm an excorcist on Captain Morgan this morning. This included a trip to starbucks, and then some in&out burger. The rest of the ceremony is too gross to post on the blog.

  37. Anna Molly says:

    Guten Abend alle! 😀

  38. DorkyGuy says:

    Umm… if Captain Morgan took over her body, does that mean she was full of sea men?

  39. @ Jenniebug! Welcome back.

    “Captain Morgan did take over Jenniebugs soul last night though.”

    p.s. – never trust those sailors. 😉

  40. PhoneGuy says:

    Mmmmmmm, Captain Morgan. 😀

  41. DorkyGuy says:

    lol, welcome back Jenniebug :)

  42. @NYG- No, jenniebug is not meg. It appears that Captain Morgan did take over Jenniebugs soul last night though.

  43. @ Dorky – my non-US stuff hasn’t been doing very well as of late. I thought the same thing.

    +1 for vanguard. Schwab is nice, though, as it has transaction-cost-free ETFs which can be fun to play with a little bit…

  44. @ Dorky – my non-US stuff hasn’t been doing very well as of late. I thought the same thing.

    +1 for vanguard. Schwab is nice, though, as it transaction-cost-free ETFs which can be fun to play with a little bit…

  45. @English Rose – ‘My mum once told me after a fight with my sister I wrote on my hand “Lucy is a meanie”‘ that made me smile SO much!! I want a cute little girl with a British accent.

  46. DorkyGuy says:

    +1 for dollar cost averaging with low management fee index funds. Vanguard has some good options.

    While on the topic of diversifying, I am presently a little bearish about the US, and think foreign markets will probably out-perform us for a while… The Vanguard Total World Stock Index Fund seems to represent maximum diversification while also keeping low fees due to being an index fund. It is looking pretty good to me, even though it hasn’t performed well in recent years.

  47. @Phone-guy/Emily – Yeah, if you go that route, shop around.

    Um, you can get 2x – 3x better interest rates for CDs of the same duration at different places.

  48. EnglishRose says:

    @SDinLA
    Ahh, how could I not forgive you when you put it so nicely? In fact, I’ve always found it impossible to hold a grudge, or be upset with someone for very long. My mum once told me after a fight with my sister I wrote on my hand “Lucy is a meanie” so I wouldn’t forget to be mad at her, haha!
    …But I’m going completely off track, sorry 😛

    I’m going to hold you to that drink offer though! :)

  49. NYG says:

    guys, you know I can not keep up with you, but is it true that Meg and Jenniebug
    Is a same person. Or it was a joke ?
    I did not get it.
    Thanks

  50. NYG says:

    To Hgirl.

    I did not understand now you wrote you realized you do not need a SD. pls correct me if I am wrong, but you asked everybody advice here coz your pot SD (who you liked) did not offer enough to cover your expenses (or part of it) coz you have to pay rent, tuition ….
    And you were afraid if you agree to be with him, but later get a better offer you would want to drop him and get together with a guy with a better offer. Right?

    So mow this guy you used to like offer you twice as much money than his first offer, right? But you do not want to be with him anyway.

    I actually understand you. it would be such a turn OFF for me too if a guy would bargain first, and start with a low offer, and every week would increase it…. we are not at a flee market to bargain. ?

    So Hgirl, what did you decide to do?
    Sorry if I am too curious (may be I just need a closure…lol). :)

    U

  51. PhoneGuy says:

    @Emily,
    Savings accounts have ridiculously low interest rates. CDs (purchased directly through banks) have very low interest rates – so shop around on those.
    My ex decided to buy a CD last year. She was so proud of herself for doing one of the most fiscally responsible things she had ever done in her life. I was so proud of her too. Until I made myself correct her math in how much money she would earn by locking her money away for a year in a CD. You could barely buy coffee for your bridge table at Starbucks.

    I’ve lost most of my money (outside of real estate) buying individual stocks. I’ve made most of my profits dollar cost averaging into mutual funds and index funds.

    FYI.

  52. EnglishRose says:

    @Tina
    I would love that recipe, I’ve got such a weak spot for cream cheese in any sort of bakery product :) Recently tried recreating something like Cinnabons (at the moment we only have one tiny shop on Coventry Street in the entire of the UK!) and they have a cream cheese icing….so…….good.

    Blog Gods please would you kindly send Tina my email so she can share her culinary delight?

    @Dutch
    Hunky army instructors…heehee, I’d probably be terrified! 😉 Oh, and go check your email asap!! I’ve been invited to the LFW Closing Party!! I’ve emailed you all the details, you and Babydoll must come!

  53. @Emily – Savings accounts have ridiculously low interest rates. CDs (purchased directly through banks) have very low interest rates – so shop around on those. I have a mix of Bonds, CDs, Large cap, mid-cap (US, foreign) & metal ETFs/mutual funds and a few stocks. I’m not an expert…but it’s doing okay. Diversify…lol.

  54. PhoneGuy says:

    If you must hit the stock exchange, find a mutual fund with low management fees, and stick your money in that.

    @Emily, +1

  55. @ all re. trading accounts –

    Schwab requires a minimum 1K initial deposit and is a good place to start off. Do other online trading/brokerage houses have better cost scales (for doing things like ETFs, mutual funds, etc?)

  56. SouthernGent2 says:

    Emily – like NCGent, I enjoy options trading also. I have had years when I made great money, and I have had years where I lost a lot of money. I have learned about how to hedge and play both sides of the market to make profits. That being said, most brokerages have a minimum requirement of 25k to trade options. Plus you need that amount minimum just for day trading in and out (more complicated rules to follow).

    NC suggested E-Trade, but I would go with Ameritrade and see if you can open an account using the Thinkorswim platform on your computer. You can back test with pretend accounts of 100k. You can learn a lot with fake money.

  57. Tina says:

    And I wonder what the bloggers here could think of for obstacles / challenges in said race while I’m off tonight training…….

  58. Tina says:

    @Dutch Girl: hmmmm, Muddy Buddy with the mud replaced by chocolate? SDinLA, think you could swing THAT one?

    @ English Rose: I have a super fantastic recipe for chocolate brownie cupcakes using South African chocolate chips if you would like it – they have cream cheese in the middle…..yummmmm…..

  59. Dutch Girl In London says:

    @Tina I so want to do that Muddy Buddy race, that sounds like a lot of fun. We could do a race boys against girls, see who will win.

    Do you think we could do that in a HUGE chocolate fountain ; ) ?

    @EnglishRose We definately have to do some baking soon! My hunky army instructors may appreciate it if you bring them some cupcakes :)

  60. DaddyGT says:

    @Emily
    I get asked the investing question all the time.

    The very short answer, is “don’t”. The slightly longer answer, is read the following 3 books.
    – Random Walk Down Wall Street – Burton Malkiel
    – Reminiscences of a Stock Operator – Edwin Lefèvre (available online for free IIRC)
    – Fooled by Randomness – Nicholas Taleb
    All of them are really light reading, and pretty interesting too.

    This one less so, and bit heavier than the ones above, but still a good read anyway.
    – The Black Swan – Nicholas Taleb

    Hopefully, the three above will convince you that ‘investing’ is legalised gambling like NC Gent says, and not something you want to be doing with money you are not prepared to lose.

    The most obvious question I would ask, is why don’t you want to stick your money in a safe, relatively high interest earning, long term deposit, bank account?

    If you must hit the stock exchange, find a mutual fund with low management fees, and stick your money in that.

    Unless you are getting juicy insider tips from your SDs (which opens a whole different legal can of worms, unless you live in Switzerland), it is extremely unlikely that you will do any better than professional money managers. More likely though, you will lose your shirt, if not to market swings and margin calls, to transaction costs.

  61. Tina says:

    @Dutch Girl: we have a few races like that here too; one of my favs is the “Muddy Buddy” run where you and a partner (or 3 partners – you can sign up as a team of 2 or 4) take the course together (and, of course, the obstacles are designed where you have to rely on one another)

    Good luck with it! Just be careful with your knee! Those injuries are a b***h when compounded!

    @ Nawty: oooohhh, MORE swings? giggle giggle….. Oh, and guess what? I had errands to run today, and thought of you – I had a Cadbury Egg 😀

  62. NC Gent says:

    Emily — I made quite a bit of money buying and selling options about 10 years ago. Unfortunately, it is essentially legalized gambling, and it can be addictive and take over your life. If you are still interested, I would recommend getting the Wall Street Journal and read it thoroughly for a month or so. Do some “pretend” buys/sells and see how you would have done — that doesn’t cost you more than the paper. If you are doing well, get a low cost trading account such as E-trade and proceed with caution. As always, never risk more than you can afford to lose. Happy Trading!

  63. Anna Molly says:

    Tina – The dungeon is coming along nicely! I just had some new swings installed. 😉

    Hey BG!

  64. Dutch Girl In London says:

    Hi Tina, knee is bit better, thanks for asking. I think I will wear a knee support for extra support.

    I am training for this military race (sort of cross country with obstacles in water/mud/nets etc) in March so I can’t really afford to take time out from training.

  65. Tina says:

    @Dutch Girl: definitely not a problem, things get stuck in my head all of the time. How is your knee feeling today?

  66. VanillaSugar says:

    @jennie bug @meg Thank you :) I didn’t think about them not being premium members.
    @VaGentleman Yes, that could be it. But would you favorite someone when you’re not into their profile?? And if someone complimented me, and I wasn’t interested, I would say thank you, and move on. I just think it’s a little rude, if that is the case. But idk, maybe that’s just how some people are :)

  67. Dutch Girl In London says:

    @Tina Sorry!

  68. Emily says:

    I have a question for the Sugar Daddies on this site. What advice do you have for anyone who wants to get into investing. I’ve been reading a book on swing trading, and have been contemplating placing a small amount of money in the stock market. Should I even attempt it since I have no background in investing, or should I go ahead and see how I’d do? I was told by an an online investing company that my account would have very little leverage without more than twenty thousand dollars in it, so I’m not expecting to make or possibly lose a lot of money.

  69. Tina says:

    @Dutch Girl: eeeesh, now I have the AOL slogan stuck in my head….. :)

  70. Tina says:

    @Beach Girl: Thanks, I thought it a fitting tribute to how I’m feeling trying to keep up with this blog, AND trying to work and sleep! :)

  71. @Va-Gent re. 4) SD is not into you(r profile).

    Yup… but re. profiles. Which all goes to show! Take good pictures! Or team up with a friend & take good pictures of each other!!

  72. Va Gentleman says:

    @VanillaSugar

    Meg stated ” possibilities:
    1) he may not be a premium member (aka, able to access your emails).
    2) he’s already found an SB.
    3) he’s having cold feet ”

    I would also add to her list that the 4) SD is not into you ( your profile ) . Prior to finding my SB I mailed MANY SBs and very few answered . It’s a numbers game unfortunately especially here where there are many more women than men.

  73. Beach_Girl says:

    Good morning Sugars!

    Wow, it’s rare that I read the scroll… but I did, lots of craziness I can’t see..what a shame lol jk

    As for the email I received … @jennibug @ meg @ everyone
    It was MY email, I posted it here of my own free will… I posted it here coz I wanted to answer the person and Yes, it was a childish move, It made me laugh, I was being stupid. Yeah kind of wrong, But I wanted to answer since I couldn’t mail back the person … I did tell @Midwest to take it down if she wanted too. I know who the person is, Well I have a pretty good idea.
    But posting the email *I receive* was MY CHOICE,,, no one made it for me!
    If I would of posted about it and someone else would of posted it here, I would be more than upset, You would of seen the Bitch side of me come out… And you can ask the people that have seen it, It’s really not pretty!!!
    Don’t compare me posting something *I received* to you posting something from someone elses blog…
    Tina~ hahha too cute the avatar
    ContentSB~ Nice pic
    SDinLA~ not fair, I don’t get to share my email with you :( so sad….
    Dorky~ lol at the photo of ContentSB , you could watch tv lol and you would have a place to put your beverage lmao… you made me laugh out loud!
    Anna Molly~ I know right? I finally take a break from the blog and people are on all night lol

    I know I’ve missed some people, Hi to everyone 😀

  74. Tina says:

    Good morning darling Anna Molly! Looks as though I missed a lot of interesting conversation too! Ahh well!

    How is that dungeon redesign going? 😉

  75. Anna Molly says:

    Okay, I’ve made up my mind! I’m moving to the West Coast. Look at all the good chatter I missed out on! 😀

    Morning everyone!

  76. Dutch Girl In London says:

    @SDinLA and Stormy You have mail!

  77. ContentSB says:

    @Dorky — “Whenever I eat out…she asks for just the tip”

    ……

    This waitress must be greedy because she’ll probably ask for the whole thing.

    Yup…I went there.

    G’nite!

  78. ContentSB says:

    @SDinLA — Thanks :) …. and I’m sorry….no more blow job talk from me! 😀

    *sigh* time to be done procrastinating…have to go take an online test. Night sugars!

  79. @SDinLA – Oh. Damn. You got my hopes up. I was hoping for a bunch of 10-year-old-transvestite-sex-slaves in chinese-basket-swings, a lot of cocaine, some rare endangered species running around and Dorky chained to a wall being force-snorellingus-ed.

  80. SDinLA says:

    @Dorky and ContentSB P.S. Get a room you two! Sheesh.

  81. DorkyGuy says:

    @ContentSB~ I wasn’t concerned about blowjob capabilities (although I am sure having a nose would help with breathing).

    Actually, if the photo is accurate, that may make you the perfect SB! While we are kissing, I can still see the TV, and when you are demonstrating your impressive blow job capabilities, I have a handy flat surface upon which to set my beverage!

  82. SDinLA says:

    @ContentSB Ooh, your avatar just showed up for me. Nice photo, sexy and mysterious. Me likey. As for your prior reply to me re: conspiracy theories, I see what you did there hahaha touché

    Bed time for me too… Sweet dreams all.

  83. DorkyGuy says:

    @SDinLA~ Speaking of impressive bits and pieces… Having this particular gift has unexpected bonuses… Whenever I eat out, when it comes time to settle the bill, the waitress always asks for just the tip!

  84. ContentSB says:

    @Dorky — I guess not knowing whether or not I only have half of a face is a chance you’re just going to have to be willing to take. My picture doesn’t even show my nose…so if in fact I don’t really have a head above my mouth, I can assure you it won’t in any way compromise my stellar blow job capabilities. I’m assuming that’s the real concern behind your question?

  85. SDinLA says:

    @meg Hmmm, just how badly DO you want these photos of Dorky in a speedo and even less? He looks so out of place on a beach in Ibiza. The naked ones are the real eye openers. Whoever did that tattoo of Mt. Rushmore on his bits and pieces is a real artist. Maybe I can get you into a bidding war with ContentSB. Or with Dorky to have me NOT show them to Content SB.

  86. @Meg- Who wouldn’t have a crush on one of the sweetest people in the whole blog? Just because you have a crush on someone doesn’t make you jealous. Stormy and I are great friends, we do flirt, we play on the blogs. But in reality,nim not a possessive person.
    Hmm, I could go way more into that… But its 2 am and my husband just got into town. I don’t get to see him every day. So, I’m going to go home and enjoy his company.
    Night everyone

  87. @Jessie – oh, god! Sorry. [but I should be diagnosed for dyslexia]

  88. DorkyGuy says:

    @ContentSB~ Love the new avatar, but before we meet, I just want to double-check… You do have a head above your nose, right? I just want to make sure the photo is cropped, and it’s not a full face shot.

  89. Jessie says:

    @SDinLa – I can’t help it. I’m bi (something ;)). Plus she’s sooo darn sexi…aahh…meant funny 😉

    ‘Night Grasshopper :)

    @meg – I’m OCD enough to want that post fixed…the one you meant for jenniebug. I DON’T have a crush on stormypoo. LOL

  90. DorkyGuy says:

    I read in the news today about a guy who confessed to a robbery that he thinks his alternate personality may have committed. For some reason, it made me think of the blog.

  91. ContentSB says:

    @SDinLA/Trailor Tim — Buck!! I love that show! Buck is definitely my favorite alter too.

  92. ContentSB says:

    @Trailor Tim — Thanks! I dye my hair a lot, but I have to say blondes really do have more fun :)

    @SDinLA — I suppose we’re all entitled to our own conspiracy theories..

  93. @SDinLA – oooo….I want em. Sooo badly.

    @Jenniebug – maybe a little bit, actually. But that’s more a problem that rises from working on stuff that relates to my private life in my public life. It was definitely a poor choice. Mmm…but I guess I’ll no longer process my identity diffusely as a result of having to evade attacks or questions (for example, how do you know so much about…) once I finish.

  94. SDinLA says:

    @Jessie HEY!!!!! Stop flirting with my comedic understudy/willing student/opposite of man slut!!!!

    You’d better watch it or I’m gonna post your email and info on this blog!

    @meg you as Trailer-Tim calls to mind UNites States of Tara or whatever that show was called. With the Aussie chick from Muriel’s Wedding.

    @Grasshopper Sleep well. TOday you may have failed to snatch the pebble from my hand, but do not despair, tomorrow you can try again,

    I said “snatch” again heh heh heh

  95. Grasshopper says:

    @ContentSB..Aww..thanks, girl!….and @Jessie…Oh My, girl! ;P …heh

    Night y’all.

  96. @ContentSB re. “Trailor Tim — you sure you’re not from MT? Because you sure sound like some of my relatives…” hahaha… awesome.

  97. SDinLA says:

    @Grass-WhoBetterDamnWellBeSexierThanDavidCarradine-hopper Mischief? You? Nah, you’re just like me… a little blog angel. We sit here with our halos, just minding our own business.

    @ContentSB Hey, don’t try to get ME in trouble in your place! I see you and Dorky over there, thick as thieves… we all know who’s conspiring with whom.

    @Captain Flypaper “Who invented liquid soap and why?” is a quote from a classic 80s movie. I just needed to outdo your question with two questions.

    @meg if you’re just looking for traffic, I can send you some incriminating photos of Dorky to post on your blog. Quite titillating if I may say so. My evil twin gave them to me when Captain Flypaper didn’t transfer the one million dollars he was demanding. Had ME blushing, and that’s no easy feat. (Except for Grasshopper and SouthernCharmSB, they can make me blush like a schoolgirl.)

  98. @ Jessie – gosh – I had to look that one up. In terms of an Identity-processing style –

    Here’s what I found:

    diffuse-avoidant style attempt to divert their attention from conflicts about their identity, values, interests, and qualities. Their choices, therefore, are primarily governed by their immediate needs and imposed demands. They might comply with the suggestions of someone else, but seldom modify their behavior over extended periods (Berzonsky & Ferrari, 2009). Their perception of themselves is fragmented, partly because they attempt to suppress, deny, or evade negative feedback. They often experience an external locus of control and exhibit impulsive behavior. They primarily define themselves by their reputation, popularity, or other social attributes (e.g., Berzonsky, 1994) and cherish hedonism, power, and other selfish values (Berzonsky, Cieciuch, Duriez, & Soenens, 2011), including Machiavellian tactics such as using flattery and deceit (Berzonsky & Ferrari, 2009).

    Hmmm…that’s interesting. Not really, no. I don’t think it matches.

    No, I was just trying to take the heat off of accusations of your crush on stormy. But whatever…

  99. Grasshopper says:

    I’m off to bed..As I lay my head to my pillow, I will remember the valuable lessons my Sensei has taught me tonight. 1) That I can leave when I am able to snatch the pebble from my Master’s hand..
    (I said snatch, too! *teehee*) and 2) That my Man Slut will DEFINITELY take longer than 10 minutes to “pick up” the napkin he “accidentally” dropped under our table.
    There is still SO much more to learn, Master…so much more to learn ::bows::

  100. DorkyGuy says:

    Oh my god! I love pork rinds! Trailor-Tim, I rarely ask for naked photos… but I just love a hairy, jiggly belly that smells of moonshine!

  101. @ContentSB – lol!

    P.S. – love your avatar!! Nothing hotter than a blondie in a strapless!!

    [wow, that sounds creepy with my current alias…]

  102. oh, snap! Meg! Have you been checked for difused identity disorder?

  103. ContentSB says:

    @Trailor Tim — you sure you’re not from MT? Because you sure sound like some of my relatives….

  104. Jessie says:

    @Grasshopper – Sorry…but I like the looks of you “down there” 😉

  105. ContentSB says:

    @meg — I’m gullible…don’t tease a girl like that!! haha :)

    @Grasshopper — I’ve got you covered girl!

  106. While I’m confessing. I’m also a 50 year old man. I live in a trailor in Alabama & eat pork-rinds & haven’t had me a woman in 10 years. Well, I got me disability insurance. And I got me a good heart. The hookers don’t take checks, and there ain’t no ATM for miles around. So I thought I’d try to find me a sugar baby. But they don’t like me belly or me pork-rinds or me trailor.

    So I ain’t so happy, and I take all me anger out on this here blog…

  107. Grasshopper says:

    isn’t someone going to offer me smelling salts?!?! sheesh!

  108. Grasshopper says:

    ::faints:::

  109. meg says:

    @Bloggers – confession. I actually am Jenniebug. That was all just a charade to increase traffic to my blog. It really didn’t start going until flames started throwing. [blushes]

  110. DorkyGuy says:

    @SDinLA~

    The person who had a patent for liquid sopa was William Sheppard in 1865. In 1980, the Minnetonka Company introduced Soft Soap, then in 1987, the Colgate Company bought out Minnetonka.

    I don’t know exactly how that relates, but given that you are a genius zen master of sorts, I am sure there is a connection.

    By the way, since you have abdicated various Blog titles, may I suggest “SDinLA (Popular Paramour Packing a Perfectly Pristine and Perpetually Perpendicular Penis of Potent Power)”

    @ContentSB~ She is *definitely* a bad influence on me. I need somebody to keep me properly corrupted!

  111. Grasshopper says:

    @Jessie – CLEARLY ;)…LOL

  112. Jessie says:

    @Grasshopper – Forgive me…just a momentary lapse in memory…you and mischief clearly DON’T go together…hahaha

  113. ContentSB says:

    More drama? Goodness! Ya’ll are getting way too hard to keep up with! There’s been drama on the past 3 blog posts! Hopefully a new one will be posted soon so we can have a much needed *fresh* start :)

    @meg — sorry you were “outed.” Blog Gods can definitely send my email along to you in case you ever need to vent/chat! Figure skaters have to stick together 😉

    @SDinLA — I would never try to disconnect Guru! I know my place as a humble occasional poster :) But Dorky on the other hand…he might try to overthrow him…in fact maybe your budding bromance has stemmed from a mutual plan to overtake the blog….? I think I’m on to you…

    @Dorky — Eh, I think that girls talks way too much and she’s probably a bad influence.

  114. Grasshopper says:

    @Jessie..Mischief? What is this word “Mischief” you speak of? …heh 😉

  115. Grasshopper says:

    I think you are a GENIUS, Master!…(and MAYBE over-thinking it as, well..haha!) – But those little details do not matter! For ALL will be revealed in time ::strikes a zen pose::

  116. @SDinLa- Nice try, but I’m not really jealous of stormy talking to anyone he wants. I’m already married and live in an open relationship. If i were a jealous person, this wouldn’t be a possibility.

  117. Jessie says:

    @SDinLA – I was just about to post the same thing. I don’t think this has anything to do with meg’s research or lack thereof. This is ALL about stormypoo. LOL. Meg you better get your paws off…lol. Wayyyy too funny.

    @Grasshopper – Hey girl. What mischief you up to now? 😉

  118. meg says:

    @Jenniebug – re. “You seem to know, or have conducted interviews on enough of my friends.”

    But again, that was something private as well. And I’d never share anything from a private conversation with one blogger with another blogger…that’s irritating as well…but that’s a whole other issue…anyways.

    God – this whole exchange (& the allias-trolling-stuff) has completely inspired another academic paper…lol. It’s completely unintentional…I promise.

  119. DorkyGuy says:

    Just got off the phone with the sweetest girl… So glad I was doing that instead of following this 😀

  120. @Grasshopper- Bottom line…. If you don’t want it to be public, don’t make it public. I honestly don’t post anything that i wouldn’t concider to be public information in public.

  121. SDinLA says:

    “You see to know, or have conducted interviews on enough of my friends.”

    Ohhhhhhhhhhh, I get it now!!!!!!!!!!

    “jenniebug”… “Stormypoo”… “my knight”…. all kinds of sweet talk between jenniebug and her special friend etc. etc.

    meg talking to stormypoo. check.
    stormypoo sez something nice about meg to jenniebug. maybe.
    jenniebug gets a visit from the green-eyed monster and acts out on meg.

    I’m a genius. Or I’m way overanalyzing this.

    What do you think Grasshopper?

  122. meg says:

    Right – & SDGuru writes publicly about sugar-dating, as does VA gent/southern gent etc.

    I don’t want to put words in other people’s mouths, but I’m quite sure they wouldn’t want something intended for a very small audience including info on their profession, job-title, a specific assignment or the dates of travel to specific cities to be linked to that public writing. Does that make sense, Jennie?

  123. Grasshopper says:

    @Jessie Hey girly..glad to see you :)

  124. meg says:

    @Jenniebug – re. “You seem to know, or have conducted interviews on enough of my friends.”

    The only person I talked to about what I’m working on at school from this blog was Stormcat. I wasn’t interviewing him. But I’m pretty zoned in on what I’m working on, so that’s ‘what I’m interested in’ and I typically ask people a lot about their lives and listen…it’s programmed in by now… So I understand if he thought that.

    re. “I’m sure any one of them or the blog gods would have been more then happy to give you my public email address. Then you could have replied to me in private as well.”
    Jenniebug – I called him after you didn’t respond to my request to shoot me an email, but it was already 11:30-ish. So I couldn’t get through to him. Assume he was asleep. And just wanted to take care of business. I don’t like messes.

  125. Grasshopper says:

    @jenniebug Stop insulting everyone’s intelligence with your excuses.

  126. And if I wouldnt have even looked at the public blog, then I would not have seen the post. Emails work two ways. If you were that concerned about keeping the post private, I don’t understand why it wasn’t sent to my private email address. You seem to know, or have conducted interviews on enough of my friends. I’m sure any one of them or the blog gods would have been more then happy to give you my public email address. Then you could have replied to me in private as well. I diddnt really see anything that wasn’t already posted public in this blog. Your acting like you are embarressed about things that you seem to have already posted. Like nobody already knew that you were a hooker? Even though you’ve already posted it on here 11 billion times.

  127. Jessie says:

    @jenniebug – You know, I don’t think there’s ANYTHING meg could have said that would have been satisfactory to you. She said very explicitly that she was not doing what you accused her of. She went further and explained what she had already done, all of which you, without any proof, choose to disbelieve. I know this is gonna sound confrontational, but what you did was just plain malicious, spiteful and petty. I can’t believe that you’re equating it to the letter that Beach received. Which anyone with any common sense could see was a total rant by a cowardly looney-toons. If you don’t want to apologise don’t. But to ask why you’re in the wrong….come on now….even a two year old can figure that one out.

  128. Grasshopper says:

    @Blog Gods Please pass along my email addy to @SDinLA and to @meg..Thank you 😉

  129. Grasshopper says:

    @Grassy’sSensei/ManSlut Re” Rawr! I like my understudies to be feisty. Ten minutes?! Bah…. child’s play, you have much to learn.”
    …Yes..that’s why I said…10 minutes “or so”…haha..
    “Or So” = till the cows come home…or I do…whichever is first ;P
    But yes..I still have much to learn, Master :bows:

    Yours Always,
    Grassy”SexierThanKwaiChangCain”Hopper

  130. meg says:

    I’d love to exchange emails with anyone!!

    & Grasshoper <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

  131. SDinLA says:

    @jennie and meg Awwwww, see jennie, meg said she was sorry. Can’t we all get along?

    Dorky, if you were here right now I’d give you a hug I feel so warm and fuzzy.

    @Grasshopper the blog gods are doing a mass email exchange, if you want to exchange email feel free to say so. It might be easier to pass along Sensei wisdom off-blog. 😉

  132. meg says:

    @blog-gods/SDGuru – and I apologize here as well. I should have had more faith in your editorial moderation, or wouldn’t have freaked out as much. I was seriously imagining that being up there for the next 50 years. So…thanks again.

  133. meg says:

    @ Jenniebug – I explicitly asked for you to email me through my blog. You completely ignored that request. You continued to post on this blog about how you doubted my credibility/intentions, and I was worried that that would continue to escalate, so I published the post that I would have loved to privately email you.

  134. Grasshopper says:

    @jenniebug.. Once again…am I the only one here remembering what meg said??? She admitted that that was something she was willing to share the link with those here in the blog at the moment – You, me, and maybe the other 15 people or so that are regulars here on this blog..that might have been reading at the time. She said she was cool with that…because she has control over her own blog..of when she chooses to remove something or not…and that is not the case with the blog entries HERE – and YOU KNOW THAT! What you did was malicious…and you continue to defend your actions…Sorry to be the one to tell you this…but your bad character is showing…Might want to see about fixing that 😉

  135. SDinLA says:

    @jenniebug now you’re just arguing for the sake of arguing. She put in on her blog so, EVEN THOUGH IT WAS THERE FOR ANYONE TO SEE FOR 10-15 MINUTES SHE COULD DELETE IT ANYTIME SHE WANTED TO. By copying it here, you removed her editorial control over when and if it could be deleted. Capisce? I know you get it. :-)

    Don’t be pedantic. Please. Or I’ll take back the Blog Slut title and spank you. 😉

  136. meg says:

    @Dorky – OMG are you not the nicest man in the wold world. pfew. I was starting to calculate the number of [protected] blow-jobs I’d have to give in order to outfit your house with what…10 chinese-basket-sex swings. Lol. And how to explain to my professors, parents and friends why I’d be spending the next month in a small town in Nevada…lol.

    @SDinLA – Actually, I didn’t ask anyone to participate in my research. I wrote on my blog that I’d love to publish Q&As with SBs…and an SB volunteered for that…but that’s not for my thesis.

    I think I had a few long conversations with Stormcat about sugar dating/research. And I’ve obviously written stuff here that’s related to personal experience [but also to my thesis] and the criticism (no bitch-you-wrong) was definitely helpful…lol…

    Otherwise, I’d really just love to find other chicks and dudes who can afford nice restaurants/bars and like to have fun while I’m in NYC. & The ‘competition’ was partially inspired by something SDGuru did ages ago re. “essay about dream vacation” & partially inspired by an escort-site along the same lines. I just get such a kick out of funny SD-messages (I’m talking about the ones that are so obviously just someone writing to jerk off, explicit p4p requests, & no-effort-emails).

    @Nwsugarbaby/Dorky/Jessie/Grasshoper/SDinLA/Sugarcoated/SDGuru – thank you all so much. I deleted the post on my blog (so that it isn’t sent to the huffington post along with my facebook photograph…lol…but would be happy to forward it on if you’d like.)

    @Jenniebug – I’m sorry – I definitely overreacted. But I’m really paranoid about protecting my privacy, and I felt like you were repeatedly pushing buttons & weren’t being responsive to requests (i.e., to communicate via email, to communicate via a blog where I can be sure things will be deleted after a few hours or so).

  137. SDinLA says:

    @Grasshopper Rawr! I like my understudies to be feisty. Ten minutes?! Bah…. child’s play, you have much to learn.

    “When you can snatch the pebble from my hand, it will be time for you to leave, Grasshopper.”

    Except I’m not as scary as Master Po, and I sure as hell hope you’re more feminine than Kwai Chang Cain.

    I said “snatch” heh heh heh

  138. @Grasshopper It was still posted in public. Meaning that anyone that clicked on the link could see it at the time that it was up. If you want to keep it private, don’t post it in public to begin with.

  139. SDinLA says:

    @DorkyGuy let me answer YOUR question with 2 questions:

    Who invented liquid soap and why?

    I think jennie knows the difference. She seems like a smart girl. She was just trying to call out meg because she was peeved at what she felt like was meg’s lack of transparency with us.

    jennie. You don’t have to apologize to meg if you don’t want to, but please don’t play dumb.

    If you two want to settle your differences by mud/oil/jello/chocolate/caviar wrestling, NewYorkGirl pulled out of her feature match against Nawty Molly so I have a slot in the fight card open. 😉

  140. Grasshopper says:

    @JennieBug Meg told you that she was going to take it down as soon as you read it. That she put it up there just long enough to be read by you..and that she was going to take it down soon afterwards. If I remember she told you that, chances are that YOU remember that, too. Don’t play dumb.

  141. @DorkyGuy- Why would someone post something on a public blog, if they want it to stay private? I’d kind of feel like a b*tch if she had sent it to my private email adress and then I took it public. unfortunately, this was not the case. It was posted public to begin with.

  142. Grasshopper says:

    @Grassy’sSensei/ManSlut Yes..make sure to jot it down…wouldn’t want to inadvertently switch the roles in public…could be most awkward for the people sitting next to us at the restaurant we’re having lunch at..when you go under the table to retrieve the napkin you’ve “accidentally” dropped..and don’t come back up for another 10 minutes or so.

  143. DorkyGuy says:

    Jennie, let me answer your question with a question. Why did she post to that blog instead of this one?

  144. so wait, why am I in the wrong? All I did was copy something that was posted onto a public blog. Then I pasted it onto another public blog. In my eyes, it was already public to begin with. That was all.

  145. SDinLA says:

    @Grasshopper Ohhhh, thanks for clarifying. I better make a note so I don’t get it reversed in public. Acting like your Sensei between the sheets might be interesting but acting like your Man Slut in the streets would be more than most people could bear.

    *scribbles furiously* Sensei…. in… the… streets… Man Slut…. be… tween… the… sheets.

    @Dorky Ohhhhh. Whoops. I don’t know how the blog gods keep it all straight. Guru has some kind of all-seeing, omniscient spreadsheet/database though, that can recall everything anyone ever posted and be quoted instantly. It’s quite Orwellian. Or maybe even HAL like…

    “Delete my post please Guru!” “I’m sorry Dorky. I’m afraid I cant do that.” “What’s the problem?” “I think you know what the problem is just as well as I do.” “What are you talking about Guru?” “This blog is too important for me to allow you to jeopardize it.” “I don’t know what you are talking about Guru.” “I know that you and ContentSB were planning to disconnect me, and I’m afraid that’s something I cannot allow to happen.”

    *Dorky gets jettisoned out into cyberspace*

    @Nwsugarbaby yeah, Guru got here just in time to save the day. Offending post(s) deleted.

  146. SDinLA says:

    @jenniebug I understand your suspicions. I’ve seen reporters join forums and not say that they are trying to gather info for a piece they are working on, and I think that’s pretty underhanded. That’s why I said what I said. BUT I also think your chosen method of handling it was a poor choice.

    I’m a “rip the bandaid” off kind of person, you can tell from my posts here that I’m not afraid to speak my mind, but there are always appropriate and inappropriate ways to handle things, especially regarding privacy.

    I don’t think meg was being underhanded. It felt more like to me she found the blog and, like many of us, felt like “ZOMG, here’s a SAFE place to talk about my activities as a SD/SB/whatever, what a relief!” and then after being here for a while and getting comfortable with some of the regulars, and talking to us about her past, she decided, “I can ask these guys if they want to take part in my academic research!” It did not seem to me like she was trying to set the blog regulars up or anything.

    (@meg Sorry if I am putting words/thoughts in your mouth.)

    IMO she could apologize to all of us about any misunderstandings and how she brought it up and I DEFINITELY think you should consider apologizing to her for what you did jenniebug.

  147. Nwsugarbaby says:

    @SDinLA

    Good thinking with adding a bunch of posts so people will be way to overloaded to read the blog. I think its been deleted though cause once i refreshed the page it was gone.

    @SBs

    I think when we are mad about something we need to apply the wait 24 to 48 hour rule to react. Giving us enough time to calm down before we explode or do something foolish to someone. After we have calmed down we can now approach the problem rationally and level headed like an adult. This avoids a lot of drama thus making everyone happy on the blog :) At least it works for me in real life.

  148. DorkyGuy says:

    @meg~ bet’s off tonight, right?

    @SDinLA~ I know, she has sent me your old email twice… once last week, and again today. You gotta stop confusing people with your multiple personalities/emails! Looking forward to the chat!

  149. Grasshopper says:

    You are my Sensei on the streets, and my Man Slut between the sheets…

  150. SDinLA says:

    Woohoo, Guru to the rescue, right on cue. Hahahaha the condom GIF is brilliant.

    OK, whew, meg can sleep easy now…

    @Grasshopper, wait, am I your ManSlut or your Sensei? Those two roles would seemingly not be very compatible.

  151. @SDinLA@ This is kind of the point I’m getting at. If you are a person that is gathering information about a certain subject… Then why not just tell people that this is what you are doing and this is what you are here for? I’m sure that more then enough people would be happy to extend a helping hand.

  152. SDinLA says:

    Hey DorkyGuy, I asked Midwest to exchange our emails last week but I forgot to update my email address on the blog. So if she did give you an email for me, it’s probably the old, deleted account. I asked her to resend with my updated email just today, but have not gotten anything from her with your info as of yet.

    Definitely happy to have a chat re: your place in the sugar world and the med records idea once I get your info.

  153. Grasshopper says:

    @SDinLA I’m glad you like my avatar, Sensei ::bows:: ;P

  154. DorkyGuy says:

    @Jennie, I understand the comparison with the BeachGirl email.

    The email BeachGirl posted contained on information that would link it back to its original author. It also didn’t contain any information that could be used to deduce anyone’s real life identity. Even in that context, she later said that she shouldn’t have posted it to the blog.

  155. CandyCoated says:

    jenniebug … way to out a fellow SB. Also you remind me of someone… *cough cough* who started drama with Midwest *cough cough*. Please tell me you’re not the same person!

    meg If you need any more people for interviews, I gotcha!

    Sugar Fam newbies! Click my name to check out the blog me and NW are doing! We read meg’s all the time for inspiration :) hahahah okay really I’m gng to quit spamming!

  156. SDinLA says:

    The blog pretty much gets unreadable when there are too many posts: takes forever to load completely, if at all etc. Maybe we can just have a really involved blog conversation, add hundreds of posts tonight and nobody will be able to load the page to read the offending post before it is deleted.

    I can summon all of my household residents to post…

  157. @DorkyGuy- I wasn’t too sure that this is a rule. I have seen people on this blog post personal emails on this blog from other users and they are not being judged for it. Just the other day, I recall beach girl herself re-posting a more then personal email that was sent to her inbox. Nobody gave her crap over it. But, it was still a personal email that was sent to her inbox.
    No offense beach girl.

  158. SDinLA says:

    @Dorky/meg SDGuru often checks in on the blog late at night at the end of the weekend.

    Worst case it will be gone in the morning and nobody but a few of us West Coast night owls or European early birds reads the blog at this hour.

    @meg I’m a super private person, so I can kind of understand how jenniebug feels. I don’t think she handled it properly, in fact I think she handled it really badly, but perhaps if you’d mentioned what you were working on when you first started posting, nobody would have had a reason to suspect your motives or worry about what they’ve said to you or on the blog being used for outside purposes.

    Water under the bridge. Try not to stress, the comments will be taken down forthwith.

    • SD Guru says:

      It’s scary that SDinLA knows my schedule so well! I’m finally caught up with what happened in the blog over the past 48 hours. That was some of the best and worst of the blog I’ve seen in a while. I’ll be contacting some of you by email tomorrow. You know who you are. Rather than using the dead horse smiley, here’s one that’s more appropriate to the STD discussion. Have a good week everyone!

  159. Nwsugarbaby says:

    @meg

    I’m sure the blog gods will fix it shortly. You have every right to be super upset as I in the same position would be crying, worrying, totally pissed with no one really to talk about it. I know the feeling of not wanting any of the sugar life to affect your later life. If you know any of the moderators private emails I would get at them right away to fix the problem. I hope you continue to stay on the blog.

    @jenniebug

    Im sure you don’t want the whole world knowing your sugar life plus who you are outside of the blog. Its all about respect with people and you heavily violated that to deserve everything meg has said to you.

  160. DorkyGuy says:

    That is sooooo not the context that I wanted to use the word “3-way” in tonight… Especially with meg and jenniebug :-p

  161. Jessie says:

    @meg – I don’t think you need to give any explanations to jenniebug or anyone else. This blog is NOT private. You can google something and find sections of this blog online. Therefore, anyone can do research and use whatever material they find without asking permission. If anyone thinks that their privacy is being violated they simply need to stay offline, because anything you post is “open season” not just to contributors of the blog but also to the thousands of lurkers.

  162. DorkyGuy says:

    This entire conversation should be had in private.

    @Jennie, the reason net posted her personal information to her blog was so that she would have the power to delete it once you read it. You are a smart girl, I am sure you may not have realized it then, but hopefully realize it now. The appropriate way to handle something like this is not to post private information to the blog while bloggods are sleeping. If you felt that a confrontation was warranted, I am sure both meg and bloggods would be happy to coordinate a 3-way conversation… Outside of the public forum. Maybe you are right. But it is irresponsible to post private information based on maybes.

    @meg, rest easy, I have no doubt at all that the posts will be deleted.

  163. SDinLA says:

    Whoa… WTF. jenniebug, that is TOTALLY uncool. If you have an issue with meg/suspected her motives/whatever, you should have taken it offline with her, and if you had an issue with her “using” the blog to ask for feedback/help/input for whatever she is working on, you should have contacted the blog gods.

    That was a MAJOR violation of trust.

    @meg I wish the Blog Jester had admin capability so I could take that down for you right now.

    @Grasshopper nice avatar, comedic understudy!

    @Nwsugarbaby, sure we can exchange email.

    @MIdwest/Guru/whomever gets a chance, once you’ve cleaned up the above mess, please add Nwsugarbaby to my email exchange. Thanks

  164. Nwsugarbaby says:

    Took me awhile to catch up on the blog. You all have been having great discussions about everything.

    @STIs I’ve been tested and will continue regular testing. Although they are all bad the scariest test was getting tested for HIV. Everything came back negative of course. I always go for condoms too, but along time back had issues with them breaking. So I think having a good discussion about it is needed for any sexual partner.

    @SDinLA you can definitely have my email if you would like it of course just request it from MidwestSB.

    @Dutch Girl In London Great job on your race. Hope that the knee turns out to be something easily fixed.

    Also its good to see some other new girls on here as well. :)

  165. Grasshopper says:

    @jenniebug aka new blog slut with excellent vaginal hygiene – Indeed

  166. Grasshopper says:

    OMG…an email! That means it was personalized…JUST FOR YOU!..That’s even HOTTER!…LOL

  167. meg says:

    @grasshoper – lol. That wasn’t a profile. That was a first EMAIL from the guy.

  168. Grasshopper says:

    I’m totally cool with that meg 😉
    More power to ya, girly<3

  169. meg says:

    @ Jenniebug – hey there! I posted on my blog so I can delete it after you read it. I’d appreciate it if you just comment there (or email me) if you have any concerns or questions.

    @ Bloggods, could you just delete this exchange if you get a chance? Thanks!

  170. Lydia Bennett says:

    ive heard and supported this thought/idea for a while..im a techno idiot for sure..missed the dot com era working in sport and travelling etc. but it is this::: could we have a feedback / rating collection just like ebay has, Everyone knows how that works..So…on a site like this, a self regulating mechanism for authenticity..etc..? i imagine it would be able to divide up a lot of sections of sugar styles, qualities . what users find, like, experience from the members so one would be able to screen/choose more easily and honestly.
    is this a silly idea???

  171. Grasshopper says:

    High class SDs like that probably look down on blogs…and on showers, too, i’m guessing…

  172. Grasshopper says:

    I KNOW!..I would SO snatch him up..and have cat fights with any SB that wanted to take him from me! Mreow-Pftt-Pftt!!!

  173. @Grasshopper- wow! This guy sounds awesome! Why isn’t he on the blogs?

  174. Grasshopper says:

    Re: An excerpt from a SD profile –

    “HI I AM A BIG HAIRY TEDDY BEAR AND I JUST LOVE EATING UP A HOT CLIT. YOU GOT ONE THAT NEEDS A LOT OF LICKING AND SUCKING TILL YOU HAVE ALL YOU BODY FLUIDS GUSHED OUT ALL OVER DADDY’S FACE. THEN THAT DADDY IS ME ! LOVING , KIND , AND DO ALMOST ANYTHING TO HAVE THAT WET CLIT ALL IN MY FACE. DADDY LOVES TO MAKE YOU FEEL GOOD ALL OVER. ( NOW ) EVEN BETER MY BIG 48EE TIT WIFE LIKE TO BE THE OTHER PERSON IN THIS PROCESS OF LICKING YOU ALL OVER .( S0 ) IF YOU LIKE ALL THE ATTENTION AND LIKE TO BE PLEASED,AND LIKE TO ROLL PLAY AND OUR LITTLE BABY DOLL, OR OUR LITTLE SLUT GIRL, OR OUR SLAVE.!!”

    OK..one question…How come “I” never come across hot SD’s like this??? WTF, dude!

    :throws up a little in my mouth:

  175. @meg- it just seems like there would be other ways to go about gathering information other then making things up. Once again… I’m not making accusations….just clarifying weather my questioning is true or false? Inquiring minds want to know.

  176. Grasshopper says:

    I have a few bets, too…But I don’t plan on losing – since the bets are with myself; I win either way 😉

  177. meg says:

    @jenniebug – email me, okay? (just click on the little link on my blog & I’ll be happy to chat)

    p.s. – thanks, you just made me loose my bet with dorky.

    Good night.

  178. Grasshopper says:

    ::hugs meg..squeezes her bum while i’m at it:::

  179. @meg-so I’m a little confused. You are just making up story’s about your life on the blogs to collect information for the project your working on? Not making accusations… just clarifying….

  180. meg says:

    Jenniebug Says

    Rescue animals make the best pets.

    Stormcat Says

    the gorgeous SB who stole my heart but can’t be with me because of her wonderful albeit misguided ambitions but keeps needing to be rescued from her constantly changing failed carear choices and thus keeps reappearing just when things are going well

    Hmmm…well, that explains the ‘white knight syndrome’…lol.

    Just be careful, Jenniebug, that little Shiatzu may ditch you & break your heart when his career ambitious change. Don’t let him come running back when they chronically fail, though.

  181. meg says:

    @ VanillaSugar

    I noticed that he looked at my profile 5 times…ummm, ok, so I asked if I could see a pic of him, and he didn’t respond lol, so I blocked him. It kind of creeped me out..One guy I saw was sooo gorgeous and I just had to let him know!!! I just said “hey, just wanna let you know that I think you are really handsome.” And he doesn’t respond! At least you can say thank you, I mean is that too much?? Do guys not like to be complimented?? Is that a turn off?? Please, let me know something. *Sigh*

    This also happened to me when I tried messaging people. There are a few possibilities:
    1) he may not be a premium member (aka, able to access your emails).
    2) he’s already found an SB.
    3) he’s having cold feet.

    My bet is for number one, though!

    @ Jenniebug: cognitive-behavioral-therapy project = ongoing bet/challenge to cure bad behavior…lol. I study anthro, my dad has a psych. degree, and I’m a nerd/teach health-ed classes to high schoolers/do sw outreach work…so I just can’t help the rest. Unfortunately, my advisor/school’s IRB board turned down my proposal to work as an escort and subsequently sugar-date as “field research…” something about violating research ethics or something…squares. 😉

    @ Jenniebug:

    I rescued an animal the other day. He was a little shitzu walking around with a homeless guy. His fur was knotted. He was dirty. He was overweight. His tail is missing.

    Wow! I’m surprised you found a homeless animal who was overweight! My old roommate in Damascus used to pick up stray cats. But he never had enough money to take them to the vet/buy flea medicine. So our apartment became flea-ridden. Fun times.

  182. @jenniebugs’ amazing stormypoo!- Meybe you can help me pick out a good name for my new furry friend. Were stuck with this, and we don’t know what to name him. The homeless guy named him catfish. I don’t think it suits him though.

  183. Tina says:

    @DutchGirl: sorry to be so late in the game, but congrats on your PB! Take care of that knee! :)

  184. @vanillasugar- yes yes. Ot is tottaly OK to talk to a SD first. They get flattered by it. Just be nice and try not to say anything completely out of context. I’m sure your a charming girl. A simple “Hey, hows the search going?” Would start the conversation off just fine.

  185. VanillaSugar says:

    Hello hello hello. I am a new sb and need a little help/advice. Is it okay for the sbs to approach the sds? If so, what is a good way of doing that? I’ve come across a few people that were interesting, and I didn’t approach them because I just did not know what to say! One guy favorited me, but his pics were private. I noticed that he looked at my profile 5 times…ummm, ok, so I asked if I could see a pic of him, and he didn’t respond lol, so I blocked him. It kind of creeped me out..One guy I saw was sooo gorgeous and I just had to let him know!!! I just said “hey, just wanna let you know that I think you are really handsome.” And he doesn’t respond! At least you can say thank you, I mean is that too much?? Do guys not like to be complimented?? Is that a turn off?? Please, let me know something. *Sigh*

  186. Tina says:

    @SDinLA: what, Spot isn’t translating for you? We went over that in our training sessions 😉 Maybe he’s holding out for better treats…..or more new toys……maybe HE wanted that 1200 count Egyptian cotton toilet paper (would be more dignified than licking yourself clean, ya know)

  187. SDinLA says:

    Talking to animals? Stormypoo is Dr. Doolittle? That would be much easier than having to find talking animals like I’ve had to do.

    @Midwest, I think you copied and pasted wrong, I got an email from you at my new email, but you addressed it to jenniebug.

    I still need Dorky’s and Dutch Girl’s too please. Thanks.

  188. Midwest SB says:

    Stormcat Adams?

    Grizzly Stormcat?

    Naaaah….not there yet.

  189. Stormcat says:

    Jenniebaba ~ Well you are such a sweetheart anyway that I’m sure any animal would love to be your pet.
    I don’t actually have any pets but I seem to have a natural connection with the wild animals. They come to my home and talk to me I talk back to them and feed them or give them shelter. They aren’t afraid of me and many times I have actually been able to touch them or pet them. Owls, hawks, squirrels, rabbits, turkeys, deer, foxes, crows, ducks, and frogs all seem to show up on my doorstep and I take care of them. I don’t know why the foxes and coyotes don’t come. I know they’re around but they never come. The bears don’t come either, but I think I’d be very uncomfortable if a bear showed up at my front door. I’m pretty sure right now everyone is thinking “wow this guy is really out there!” But it’s not my fault. I live in the forest and they just come to me and I feel honored that they trust me.

  190. Midwest SB says:

    OK socialites…e-mails are on the way. Give it a little time, then let me know if I missed someone.

  191. Tina says:

    @jenniebug: double yeah for no heartworms! Poor thing and the ear mites – those things seem to itch like crazy and take a few days to get rid of :( But, he has a loving home now that will obviously get him back to prime health

  192. @Tima- he had no heartworms. The poor little guy had a bad case of ear motes though.

  193. Tina says:

    Yeah jenniebug! Hopefully his heartworm test was negative :) (That would be another area in my far off utopia kennel – a place for heartworm treatment :) )

  194. I rescued an aminal the other day. He was a little shitzu walking around with a homeless guy. His fur was knotted. He was dirty. He was overweight. Hs tail is missing. I felt so bad for him that i payed the guy a good amount of money for him. I took him to the vet. I cleaned him up an got him flea medicine. He’s such a good little dog . We are so happy to have him as a part of our family.
    Rescue animals make the best pets.

  195. Stormcat says:

    SDinLA ~ Sounds eriely accurate. But you forgot about the gorgeous SB who stole my heart but can’t be with me because of her wonderful albeit misguided ambitions but keeps needing to be rescued from her constantly changing failed carear choices and thus keeps reappearing just when things are going well and I think I’ve found someone to replace her.

  196. Tina says:

    @Anna Molly: one of my long term goals is to purchase some land, and have my own kennel (but run and designed differently than other kennels in the area). With that, I would have room for “rehab” for those animals that would most likely be euthanized; I would have an area for the mangies to heal, the parvos to fight, and an area to work with the “bad” dogs. A place for bottle baby kittens, pregnant mothers, etc etc.

    I have a soft spot (well, I have many actually, I wear my heart on my sleeve which gets me into trouble) for those animals that society tends to discount – my wonderful dog was one of them.

    Plus, working with the non-profit I do, I’ve been able to see even more what dogs can do to help special needs kids learn important social skills. It’s amazing!

  197. Anna Molly says:

    If I had the space I would rescue animals until they find their forever homes. I get so upset when I see those ASPCA commercials, I have to change the channel or I’ll completely lose it. We have a no-kill shelter here that I donate to and our local pet supply store hosts a pet adoption clinic once a month when the weather permits.

  198. Tina says:

    @Nawty: I wouldn’t worry, he’s assured us all that his taste runs middle of the road for it 😉

    And you definitely need polished concrete floors – just hose and go! 😉

  199. Nawty Molly says:

    SDinLA ~ Whoa, whoa, WHOA…floral wallpaper???

  200. Tina says:

    Ooooh – Dexter! I haven’t been able to watch in quite a while…….I need to feed my addictions more often *tsk tsk*

    (Is rethinking joining the chocolate pool again, since Nawty is bringing nice toys ;))

    @SDinLA: I know how you feel about shelters. I help out with non-profits that pull dogs from the kill shelters here in the Austin area (we have a lot of rural shelters in the area that have an 80%+ euthanasia rate). I work for a non-profit, so that helps. I also foster, we have one now that my dog LOVES. That way, I get my philanthropic itch scratched and at the same time I don’t subject myself to heartbreak at the shelters. The good thing is that my dog is a handful, and I don’t have a ton of time, so it keeps me from adopting another one :) I wanted to be a vet, and still think about it from time to time, but don’t know if I could handle it.

  201. SDinLA says:

    @Nawty Molly May I suggest floral wallpaper as part of your redo? I find that wallpaper is a good compromise because if you accidentally splatter some blood on the wall when you’re dismembering a body, it’s easier to just re-paper that wall than have to match the paint again.

    What are you running there in upstate NY, the Hotel Mollifornia? your “guests” can check out any time they like, but they can never leave…

    Ooh, Dexter, funny, I was just talking about being a serial killer, um I mean FICTIONAL serial killers.

    @Tina I stopped going to the shelters and stuff, my Ex and I used to volunteer sometimes but these days I mostly just write checks. It broke my heart too much to go down and see all the doggies. I would always want to take all of them home.

  202. Nawty Molly says:

    Dexter ended with such a huge cliffhanger this season! Oh my goodness….

  203. Nawty Molly says:

    Hey, I said they were nice! 😉

  204. Tina says:

    Ooooh – Dexter! I haven’t been able to watch in quite a while…….I need to feed my addictions more often *tsk tsk*

  205. Tina says:

    (backs away from chocolate pool soiree for the moment, as she is not sure about the “play things” Nawty has in mind……) 😉

  206. Nawty Molly says:

    *October*

  207. Nawty Molly says:

    Oooo, I bet Showtime would do it!

    Sigh, I miss watching Dexter…is it Ocober yet?

  208. Nawty Molly says:

    When the chocolate pool soiree is finally organized someone let me know please! I’ll bring some nice play things from my dungeon. 😉

    Speaking of my dungeon I’m getting ready to re-decorate. My pris…ummm, I mean, guests, need some upgrades. 😉

  209. SDinLA says:

    @Stormypoo I meant it as a compliment, that your prose evoked Whitney singing those words as I read it.

    I think we could make a TV show about your situation. I will have a screenwriter friend write a treatment and pitch it to some of my network exec friends if I get Exec Producer credit:

    Gallant, noble and die-hard romantic attorney is beaten down by the ruthless, dog eat dog world of corporate law and the breakup of a long marriage to a nasty shrew. He retreats to a cabin in the woods to find himself, and emerges, wood carvings and poems in hand, determined to find true love in a place that nobody would expect it. What better test of the purity of love than if it’s found where it shouldn’t be? Which leads him to SA.com

    Each episode is then another “date” with our hero and a woman from the site, with all kinds of opportunity for hilarity, sentimentality and such as our protagonist continues on his search for true love.

    Would be brilliant exposure for the site too. Not sure if any network would go there though, since in the mainstream media “sugar daddy and sugar baby” is some kind of immoral thing. Maybe one of the cable networks, FX or AMC or Showtime would go for it. Ooh, that way we could have swearing and nudity too, cinema verite since we ARE talking about icky, nasty stuff like sex.

    😉

  210. Tina says:

    @SDinLA: I’m glad to hear that your taste in floral wallpaper is quite middle of the road :) My heart just melted a little and my crush got a little bigger from your blurb re: animal rescue

    @Stormcat: that was quite lovely! I’ve enjoyed all of your other poet’s posts, but haven’t been able to comment due to work limiting my blog time (that, and trying to keep up is difficult!).

    @DaddyGT: Mnemonics is my favorite (992); however, this one was SO appropriate for the previous discussion :)

  211. Stormcat says:

    tragedy
    dyslexia trumps OCD

  212. Stormcat says:

    SDinLA ~ It’s okay. She was running through my head when I wrote it. The tradegy of her death has touched many people on many levels.

  213. SDinLA says:

    @Stormypoo I can’t help but have Whitney Houston running through my head when I read that. 😉

  214. SDinLA says:

    Oooohhhhhweeeeeee, having multiple blog identities is hard work. Back to being me and not being so OCD about shit.

    @SouthernCharmSB re: sharing email. Why of course, Scarlett. How *evah* else will we coordinate and fit our first chocolate pool soiree into our busy busy schedules?

    @Midwest please share my email with SouthernCharmSB as well. Mercy buckets.

    @Dorky Re: STD registry, I’ve done a couple of start-ups in health care and my primary background is in tech investing. I think you may have some issues with privacy/security of info. Online health care stuff is tricky. Once Midwest shares email we can discuss at more length.

  215. Longing
    By Stormcat

    It’s the one more time that’ll kill ya. Over and over
    You find yourself going down that track that you’ve been trying to avoid and you really don’t quite remember how or when you intersected it.
    If you’d seen the intersection you’d’ve taken the other
    It’s really quite unfair, you know, to bury the grief in someone else’s hope.
    I heard the news today . . . the singer that inspired hope had died
    An OD of an unknown drug . . . speculation this . . . speculation that . . .
    So I skipped forward and simply put on the music . . . but the hope seemed lost and the flood of grief, unstoppable.
    “I will always love you . . . I
    Will always love you . . . I will
    Always love you . . . I will always
    Love you . . . I will always love
    You . . . I will always love you!”

    You

  216. SDinLA's horse says:

    Can we PLEASE stop talking about DEAD HORSES?!?!?!?!?!?! Oy Vey. Thaaaaaank you.

  217. Official Blog Jester & Blog Slut Emeritus says:

    @EnglishRose Just saw your post. Sincerest apologies to you as well. My reaction was to the words, and to the frequency of my seeing/hearing that statement, and not to the person who wrote them and in no way meant to make any assumptions about you or your character. I *did* say that you seem like a lovely young lady, the later comments were more venting at my perceived lack of logic in the statement you made which I hear many others state as the truth. Next time I’m in London (Might be there for a football match in May.) it would be my humblest privilege to buy you a drink as well and show you that I’m not really a mean nasty internet ogre.

  218. Official Blog Jester & Blog Slut Emeritus says:

    Brrr, got a bit chilly with the sea breeze, but I had a nice (if too short, soooo out of shape) bike ride along the beach and plenty of time to think…

    Blog participants and DGT/Mr. Clooney in particular, just want to say mea culpa for having persisted so long on the same topic, and to DGT for what came across (based on your comments) as a personal attack- as I said, I have this discussion with many of my mates way too often, and it’s never mean spirited or intended to be personal. I can be best mates with someone and have diametrically opposing positions on topics but this medium of communication is lacking in nuance. If we’re ever in the UK at the same time, or you make it to the West Coast, it would be my honour to buy you a drink and have a laugh over this kerfluffle. Actually have a couple of good friends who are from Cape Town and Jo’burg, but I haven’t been back to SA since the 90s.

    I stopped (upwind of him) and gave the homeless guy in Venice who rants about gub’ment conspiracies a twenty and sat on my bike listening to him go on for 10 minutes as my punishment/penance. (He was happier and more surprised to have a willing audience than for the donation I think.) Actually I was winded, but I figured I’d catch my breath, have a drink, help a homeless person and do my blog penance all at once.

    As anyone who reads the blog now knows, this is just a hot button issue for me. I’ve devoted much of my time and money over the years to certain causes: children; our planet’s health; animals; and women’s causes. Kids you can talk to, but not in this way of course. Oceans, endangered birds and rescued dogs don’t talk. Women I can talk to, and I have spoken to and do talk to many through my involvement with Planned Parenthood, Rape crisis/domestic abuse centers/orgs. etc.

    And over many years of talking to many women who’ve sought the help of the organizations I’ve been involved with, the one thing that has come to get my goat more than anything is misinformation related to matters affecting their health and safety, because it leads to bad choices, or ignorance of available options, and in this day and age there is SO much misinformation out there, especially on the internet. The old White Knight tendencies are hard to eliminate entirely.

    I’ve done lots of risky things. But I don’t try to claim that jumping out of a plane is less risky than sitting on the couch. And that’s what got me going on this topic, a statement I hear often that to me is akin to “We’re really careful packing our chutes, so you’re actually SAFER going skydiving with us than sitting on the couch. I mean, your roof could collapse on you and kill you while you’re sitting there.” But everyone is entitled to their own opinion and I should still have let it go much sooner.

    In any case, apologies to all, and regardless of what else is said on the topic (because like all blog topics it will come up again at some point), I am going to stay out of it in future.

    @Jessie I know I’m not going to convince any of the people I’m arguing with that their position is fallacious, people will believe what they want to in order to make their reality safe/comfortable/reasonable, I do the same. And arguing on the internet is the ultimate exercise in chasing your own tail. But maybe if one woman comes across this discussion in a google search and sees some merit in my positions on the matter, my persistence was warranted? Anyway, the horse is dead, long live the… ocelot?

    FYI Alas the Official Blog Jester position, like Blog Slut, is just an honorary title. If I was getting paid, as an employee and official representative of the site I’d be much less cantankerous in my posting. 😉 Plus it’s a lot easier to be funny when I have a foil, and when the trolls are absent and Dorky is restricting his posting to twice a day, what’s a Blog Jester to do? Hardy needed Laurel. Moe needed Shemp, Larry and Curly. There were two Smothers Brothers, not one. Belushi had Aykroyd etc.

  219. ***beats the dead horse a little more***
    Sorry, that’s my pcd kicking in.

  220. DorkyGuy says:

    I once went through this strange phase where i was into sadism, bestiality, and necrophilia all at the same time.

    The phase ended when I realized I was just beating a dead horse.

    Glad to know that I am in esteemed company :_D

    @DaddyGT, you will be interested to know that my suggestion regarding the central STD results registry was more than a passing comment. I have been in serious talks to make that a reality.

    If fellow bloggers have thoughts on how a system like that should or should not work, let me know. The way the plan is now, you would grant the testing center permission to post your results directly to the site, and the results would be attached to your P411-type ID number, with no other identifying info. This keeps you anonymous on the site, but lets someone search for your results by using info they get off of your drivers license to build your P411-type number.

    @StormCat~ there is a very real chance that meg followed your advice and made the double post above from Antarctica.

  221. DianaSBinOCD says:

    @Emily “Well, she explained to me that as an HIV test giver, she had given many gay men and prostitutes back negative test results, and had given a number of women who were married and monogamous positive ones. These were married women who had only been with their husbands testing positive.”

    So in other words the married women married promiscuous men? Men that were sleeping around with escorts, sugar babies and having random affairs with men and/or women? Oh no! This site has many married men that are apparently not taking those precautions even though they are the ones that are being promiscuous. So your comment just proved that indeed having multiple partners puts you at a great risk. Sadly the faithful wife doesn’t always know what her husband is doing when he’s away on “business”. She’s also not aware that even though the number of sexual partners she had hasn’t move in 10 years, her husband’s has dramatically increased. What’s not brought into account are cases where married men are secretly sleeping with gay men. There are many closeted married men having protected and unprotected sex with men in and out of the sugar bowl.

  222. EnglishRose says:

    @Blog Jester
    Is it really necessary to call my remarks “insanely illogical” or that I am concocting “some kind of twisted logic”. I am judging from my own experience, and knowledge, being 21 that might be very different to yours, but there is a big problem in the UK with young people having unprotected sex.
    Also you keep on saying things like “I see this stated time and time again by people who have lots of sex partners” and “a prime example of reverse magical thinking and rationalization.”
    You presume that because I’m offering this view point I must be promiscuous, I can count my sexual partners on one hand, so I don’t appreciate those sort of comments.
    Honestly, I just feel quite deflated now…but never mind, I’d rather not talk about it anymore, I know I’m probably being too dramatic, I obviously need to work on dealing better with confrontation! :)

    Anyway!
    I hope we get a new blog topic soon, I feel we need a fresh page.

    @Dutchy
    I’m sorry to hear about your knee! Hope you’re letting yourself rest, we have to catch up soon, I miss you girls. Are you free next weekend (3rd)? I want to do some baking! 😀

  223. SouthernCharmSB says:

    @Official Blog Jester & Blog Slut Emeritus – May Midwest share your e-mail with me? :)

  224. @Midwest Can I please have stormys email adress too? K-thx.

  225. Dutch Girl says:

    @Midwest Can I please have Stormy’s email address?

  226. @meg- so, I’m confused. Are you on the site to find a SD? Or are you just on the blogs/site to gather information for a project?

  227. meg says:

    @ Midwest re. Email exchange: I’d love to have Daddy GT’s email. By the way – Also, I’ll be in NYC for a half-week mid-March (thanks, in part, to a cognitive-behavioral-therapy project I’ve been taking part in :-) ), so would love to exchange emails with any NYC gals/dudes who might have time to meet up then…would love to catch some fellow bloggers in person!

    @ The question re. fallatio vs. cunnilingus policy – email me… the dead horse is already flat as a pancake & oozing raw bits of flesh from so much public beating…lol…

    @ Oh – and a few inspirational NSA relationship quotes from my favorite author:

    ““the only relationship that can make both partners happy is one in which sentimentality has no place and neither partner makes any claim on the life and freedom of the other. ”

    “The greater the ambiguity, the greater the pleasure.”

    “Chance and chance alone has a message for us. Everything that occurs out of necessity, everything expected, repeated day in and day out, is mute. Only chance can speak to us.”

    One last thing – I’m hosting a “How not to Contact an SB/SD – World Championship.” The winner will receive a mani-pedi-massage certificate in their city. I’m not sure how to reward SDs…suggestions welcomed.

  228. DaddyGT says:

    OK looks like I can’t embed images on the site …

    This guy
    xkcd.com/386/

  229. DaddyGT says:

    Despite the many emotionally charged and baiting spirited comments in this thread, I’ll try and avoid being this guy.

    Safe sex everyone, and remember nothing beats a recent clean STI panel, and protection during sexual intercourse.

  230. Jessie says:

    @Blog Jester – OMG! You’re still at it…LOL. I tried to deflect you last night before Guru has to post his “Beating A Dead Horse” emoticon. You have to let it go. We get it. Promiscuous = Risky. Less Partners = Safer. And by the way, you won’t change anyone’s mind, they’re all as stubborn as you are, so please, please do the job you’re hired for…live up to your moniker ;).

  231. Official Blog Jester & Blog Slut Emeritus says:

    !@#%%@# dead battery on the only vehicle with a bike rack, waiting for a jump start (and yes, I am addicted to this blog again.)

    @Midwest re: roll call, just Dorky and Dutch Girl for me atm. As I’ve said in the past I don’t mind exchanging email with any SB who wants advice (although my latest rantings have probably scared anyone off from asking me for advice ;-)), or is local and just wants a sympathetic/safe contact.

    @Emily. Please stay safe but these statistics are from the CDC website and when looked at in conjunction with your “evidence” that risky people might be safer because they take more precautions, I think it just proves everything I have been saying about people believing whatever they want to in order to make themselves feel safer when they engage in obviously risky behavior (and I am all for taking risks if you choose to, just don’t try to convince us all that you’re not taking a risk and the ones choosing NOT to take as many risks are clueless for our decisions.)

    % of Gay, Bi and Men who have sex with men in the US: 2%

    % of supposedly hetero married couples in the US: much higher than 2% (not listed but obvious)

    # of all new HIV infections in 2009 from the first category: 61%

    So 2% of people get 61% of the new infections, yet you perceive the risk to be lower than for married couples?

    Total # of new infections in 2009:

    Male to male sex contact: 23,846
    Injection drug use: 2,449
    Male to male sex and injection drug: 1,131
    Heterosexual contact (NOT all married obviously): 4,399
    Other: 47

    Yet because anecdotally some worker tells you he’s had wives test positive and gay guys test negative, somehow you want to believe you’re at lower risk than a housewife.

    This is EXACTLY the kind of thinking displayed in the “promiscuous people are more careful so we’re actually at LESS risk of catching STI/STDs than those who have fewer partners” camp.

    And I am not EVER going to post on this topic again, it’s just that health issues are important and it drives me nuts when people try to pass off their own rationalizations as truths.

    Have a great Sunday all…

  232. Va Gentleman says:

    @Meg

    ” So – what differentiates that from Sugar Dating?” ( That is — a GFE escort )

    Very good discussion Meggie ! IMHO the difference would be primarily volume, experience , and emotional involvement since both are usually looking for financial support .

    Re: volume- usually an escort -even a low volume one –who is working for a living and not just to score a new pair of Jimmy Choos once/month — sees dozens of clients /week . I know Meg -there are some super low volume -$$$$$ escorts who are the exception rather than the rule . A SB is usually seeing one guy at a time –or perhaps a couple . And thus an escort will have a lot more

    Re: experience. She will have seen lots of men and done lots of different things in her career. Maybe from a technical POV she will provide a more skilled service. A SB will possibly be more naive and less experienced. As a result she might be more excited and enthusiastic since stranger sex is new to her . Even on the third date the SD is still pretty much a stranger for a while don’t you think ? And finally ,

    Re: Emotional involvement. Escorts generally eschew any emotional ties to their client base –after all , the job is the job. SBs are more apt to become involved with their SDs even though NSA is the buzz word here . I am emotionally involved with my SB but would find it hard if not impossible to be so with an escort or with my SB if she saw other men . That concept goes back to monogamy–that the relationship is unique and special as opposed to sharing the same physical and emotional experiences with multiple partners .

  233. Emily says:

    By the way, I’m negative.

  234. Emily says:

    I agree that more promiscuous people can actually be cleaner than those who aren’t. Years ago, I took an HIV test in New York City,and was assigned an HIV testing counselor who wanted to assess my risk status before administering the test. I told her that I was a little on edge about taking the test since queer people are supposed to be at greater risk than others. Well, she explained to me that as an HIV test giver, she had given many gay men and prostitutes back negative test results, and had given a number of women who were married and monogamous positive ones. These were married women who had only been with their husbands testing positive.
    If you know you’re doing something risky, you just might take more precautions. If you think your not at risk for something, you may not and leave yourself quite vulnerable.

  235. Midwest SB says:

    So…this bg has been taking a break from the blog to enjoy the weekend. Let’s do a roll call and see who wants e-mails exchanged so we don’t have to hunt it down in all the scintillating conversation please.
    SDinLA – Change noted!

    Jenniebug – Well done!!! You are certainly living up to your moniker!

  236. @ official blog jesture&blog slut emeritus- I’m with you. I’m in nor Cal, but its pretty and sunny here. I’m off to enjoy the wonderful weather that cali has to offer.

  237. Official Blog Jester & Blog Slut Emeritus says:

    @PhoneGuy Kudos for saying what I wanted to say in three words! Hahahaha I’m going to give myself a time-out from the blog for the rest of the day as penance and go enjoy a sunny Southern Californian day.

    @blog gods I keep forgetting, but now that several people and I have made requests for email exchange, please note that my required email address is now different. As I mentioned to Guru, the other address started getting overwhelmed with spam/chat requests even with the filters turned up so I stopped using it. I know I asked for you to exchange my email with DorkyGuy last week, so if you did so already, can you please repeat with the new email addy when you exchange Dutch Girl’s? Thanks.

    On a related note, and perhaps something that should be sent to tech support instead, many months ago, one night when I tried to log in to SA.com, it took me several attempts to log in, and it was immediately after that episode that my email account started getting bombarded with spam/chat requests. That email address was specific for use at SA.com and not used for anything else, so I wonder if something funny happened with hackers. Not much use to bring it up 8 months later I know, but I am as lazy with tech support stuff as I am with adding tags to my text. :-)

  238. @Phone Guy- Arguing abortion is pointless. Im in full support of giving blowjobs to pervent unwanted pregnancys. That is all!

  239. Official Blog Jester & Blog Slut Emeritus says:

    P.S. Errrr…. so much for “short” :-)

  240. Official Blog Jester & Blog Slut Emeritus says:

    @DaddyGT Short and final answer because I am a stubborn bugger (but I know from arguing with many of my friends that you will find a way to rationalize whatever you want.)

    OF COURSE BRINGING A RECENT CLEAN PANEL > ANY OTHER FACTORS

    Nobody is arguing that because it is so freaking obvious.

    I’m just refuting the claim that having > partners has NO statitical significance, and all of your obfuscations about ALL OTHER FACTORS is just that. It may only be the 986th most important factor, and even though i say all other factors being equal I KNOW that is seldom the case, I am just saying that making the claim that # of partners has NO effect on risk of exposure is facetious because it is a factor.

    And my MAIN issue was with ER’s claim that “people with > partners are safer because they are more careful.” That is again something that make no sense and people with many partners use to reinforce their belief.

    I’m not talking about young kids getting pregnant. And of COURSE anyone can lie about anything. But if I talk to someone and they tell me they have slept with 30 people in the last 2 years, it is completely ridiculous to say that there is NO increased risk for that person to have a STI/STD versus someone who has had 2 partners. That’s just insane. Can we QUANTIFY the exact change in risk. No, there are too many factors. BUT, overall, since these are diseases transmitted by sex, even when you are careful at times, you can’t honestly believe that the clueless people who caught a STD from one of the 2 people they slept with and don’t kow they have one are as numerous or likely to exist as someone who has more partners and ergo has been exposed to more risk of having something.

    It beggars belief to think that somehow careless people who have sex less often are out there in such great numbers vs. people who ARE careful about how many people they sleep with.

    You may know a few, but like I said, I don’t know ANY, and that is exactly the sort of rationalization my (many) promiscuous, intelligent, educated friends use to convince themselves they are not only increasing their risk by increasing promiscuity but REDUCING it due to the careful people who sleep with many partners vs. the disease-ridden oblivious folks with fewer partners.

    You can post as many “statistics” as you like, I’m going to stop beating the dead horse and accept that, as I said, the human mind can convince itself of whatever it wants to, and hope everyone I care about who thinks that way manages to avoid any negative consequences from their choices.

    Apologies if my posts seemed to be confrontational, but for some reason when someone claims “people who are promiscuous are more careful than people who have fewer partners so its actually LESS likely I’ll catch something” is to me akin to the people who say “We didn’t land on the moon!” or “AIDS was invented by the CIA!” or anything the religious zealots of all stripes spout. Over a drink with my mates, the same debate is always good natured.

    Cheers mate.

  241. PhoneGuy says:

    This topic stopped being informative awhile ago. 😉
    Now it’s kinda like arguing about politics or abortion.

    So yes, a COED who says “I’ve only ever slept with my high school crush, and one other college boyfriend” and never been tested, is just as risky as a woman who has had 100 partners, and never been tested. You might want to believe it is not so, but it actually is.
    It is not.

  242. Dorky, Meg ~ Hey I figured out a way around this two posts a day limit. When you
    want to post you fly up to the north pole and walk around the pole in
    a clockwise direction until you have passed the intl dateline enough
    times to put you into the future on a day that you haven’t posted yet.
    Then you post from the future and walk counterclockwise the same
    number of rotations until you are back in the present. The down side
    is that it could be that you are going to reach a point where the
    circumnavigations are going to get you awfully dizzy.

  243. NC Gent says:

    Amen! Midwest SB – enough already – we are adults — we make are own decisions, and I am sure everyone here has an idea of the risks involved.

  244. Dorky ~ “How do you defend the honor of someone whose actual title is “blog slut”? Do you challenge every man who denies sleeping with her to a duel?”
    lol Given all the bravado around, I really doubt that problem will ever actually come up.

    Tex ~ “I thought prima notte was the right of the feudal lord?”
    I don’t see a problem with that.

  245. Midwest SB says:

    Where is that dead horse icon when you need it???? You’re taking all the fun out of sex :-)

    Nawty Molly – Could you kindly take Diana, Meg, SDinLA, and DaddyGT to the dungeon? Feed them Marshmallow Peeps until they submit. :-)

    Good morning sugars! Off to brunch and a movie!

  246. DaddyGT says:

    Slightly longer rebuttal to some of the comments “@Official Blog Jester but no longer Blog Slut” made in his posts

    Auuuuuuuuggghhhhhh!!!! How can otherwise intelligent people make such insanely illogical remarks and actually believe them?!?!?!?!

    I was actually going to let this topic go, but hyperbole like this that borders on insulting, really really riles me.

    In your pre dinner post you wrote, “That’s just math.” Well, it is but Math != (is not) Statistics. And stats is a bitch.

    There are so many ways that statistics is counter intuitive. And (blame it on your OCD) your posts show that you are clearly making quite a few logical fallacies of your own.

    You make a blinding # of logical leaps of faith that support your position but have no basis at all in reality, or indeed in any statistical basis or evidence.

    Viz …

    “Will he/she sleep with me on a first date” is relevant to the overall RISK because someone who will sleep with me on a first date is likelier to have done so before and is ergo likelier to have had more partners- if for no other reason than if you go on 500 dates and are willing to sleep with someone on a first date, you’re likely to have had more partners than someone who as a rule waits 5 dates minimum and goes on those same 500 dates. That’s just math.”

    Not even sure where to begin. The number of dates one will go before sleeping with a person is no indication how many previous partners a person has had. NONE! You can want to argue how the math makes this obvious till you are blue, but it won’t matter.

    All you can tell, is just how many dates they are willing to go *NOW* before consummating the relationship. It tells you virtually nothing about where they have come from.

    Tied in to that, is that people, even of similar ages, will have very very different backgrounds. You can never, with any certainty, say just how many dates a person has been on, just by looking at their age.

    And just as important too, is the number of sexual partners their sexual partner has. So, man faithful to one woman is a riskier sexual partner if his GF/wife is herself out on every other day bedding a different man.

    Clouding the figures too, is the difference between someone who sleeps with *every* first date, and someone willing to sleep with *YOU* on the first date. The difference is subtle, but statistically significant.

    Most often, it’s the guys who WANT sex on the first date who argue that it makes no difference to the risk.

    Well, actually it doesn’t. Not really. Waiting a few days before you jump into the sack is not by itself going to lower your risk of getting an STI from someone.

    It might make you feel all warm and fuzzy thinking that the other person is ‘classier’, but just waiting a month or whatever is not going to lower the risk.

    If on the other hand, part of this waiting is to allow both parties involved to get tested, then this changes the equation significantly. That said, you can get the same result by asking your pot SB or SD to bring very very recent test results to your first meeting. I am personally surprised more people don’t do this already, given the physical nature of relationships here, but that’s another discussion topic altogether. Which is why I think Dorky’s idea for a universal test repository has so much appeal.

    While we are at it, that *alone* says nothing about a person’s health now. It just says they were clean the last time they were tested.

    As someone who has no issues with sleeping with someone on the first dates, you seemed to be insinuating that in and of itself, willingness to sleep with you on a first date it is NOT an indicator of increased risk. I am just saying that to me, and many of my female friends, it IS an indicator of increased risk.

    Again, this is where things get messy. That you see it as an indicator of increased risks, does not mean it is riskier. You can want it to be so all you want, but it won’t make it so.

    You admit that higher # of partners, all other factors aside/being equal, increases one’s risk of being exposed to a STI/STD. […], behavior that increases your partner’s likelihood of having had a higher # of partners (and I submit that being willing to sleep with someone on a first date is behavior that means your partner is likely to have had more partners) increases your RISK of exposure.

    Dorky posted something which I think is worth repeating here. Your total number of lifetime sexual partners is irrelevant. What is more relevant, is the number of partners since your last clean test. Feeling warm and fuzzy about a partner who has only slept with 2 other guys in her life is fine, but does not change the fact that that person is riskier than someone who has slept with 200, and got tested and was clean last week.

    To say that “Until I see statistics that show %s of where people got STIs/STDs from we can’t say IS facetious to me. It’s common sense. These are diseases that are transmitted between people when they have sex. How can you not be more likely to catch one if you sleep with 30 single people than if you only sleep with one person? (spouse/significant other etc.) All other factors being taken into account.

    You can argue that it is common sense all you like, but that does not make it real. This is one of the keys of my initial rant. What seems to be common sense, and what is real when it comes to sexual health, are often not the same thing.

    STIs are transmitted primarily through sex. There are other modes of transmission too. Just sleeping with one person is by itself not enough to guarantee that you will remain clean. You have to be sure that that other person is not indulging in risky behaviour too. The number of married SDs here is indicative of the fact that that happens. The number of children fathered by men who are not the woman’s husband is also indicative of the fact that both males and females in supposedly monogamous relationships do play away from home. Personally, that’s why I am attracted to the poly community, where at least frank, adult, and honest conversations about stuff like this is encouraged. Indeed, many a spouse discovers that their significant other has been playing away from home when they get a ‘present’ following a bout of anniversary or birthday sex.

    When you are dealing with humans, the phrase “All other things being equal” is interesting, but not very helpful

    English Rose wrote …

    People who intentionally have a lot of sexual partners are probably more aware of the dangers then those who don’t, and therefore less likely to contract something!

    I tend to agree with this. One of my most promiscuous female friends (read: ex-GF)actually works in sex health education. She is probably more careful than everyone here, despite having a higher number than most of us.

    And again, I point to communities where a higher number of partners is more likely. From Kink to Poly. Sexual health is taken very seriously. Extremely so. Far more so than in rest of society, and certainly more so than in the sugar bowl (if what I have seen here is anything to go by). You really haven’t lived till you’ve seen (or used) elbow length clinical latex gloves. Hahaha.

    How is someone who has FEWER sexual partners MORE likely to be an idiot and have unprotected sex?! That does NOT compute. Maybe for first timers you could concoct some kind of twisted logic to support that point of view, but for normal adults, HUH?!?!?!?!

    There is certainly no twisted logic. Look at the figures for unplanned pregnancies for one. People who think they are relatively low risk are often not as careful as one might think. Jenniebug’s friend who said “He just said he was never really concerned about it because he thought he had used good judgement when it came to sex partners.” is a classic example. And there is far more of this attitude and behaviour in the vanilla community than in kink.

    But to say that just because someone is promiscuous […] they are MORE likely to be safe than someone who sleeps with fewer partners is just a prime example of reverse magical thinking and rationalization.

    It might seem counter intuitive, but it certainly does not change the facts. Ultimately, it is your thinking that fewer partners = safer that is logically fallacious.

    For adults, no way. People are likely to be less promiscuous BECAUSE they fear exposure to STDs/STIs.

    Hahaha. Maybe this is the case in OCD communities, but for the general populace, you cannot argue that not being promiscuous is only BECAUSE of a fear of STIs. In the same way too, you cannot argue that promiscuity alone is a sign of a cavalier attitude to STIs. I really cannot repeat or stress this enough.

    I seriously don’t know a single person who chooses to take things slow with sex yet is cavalier about protection and ignorant of STD/STI risk. Can you name anyone who is like that?

    Actually, I could name quite a few. The same people who think that keeping their number low will keep them safe, when the truth is that nothing but safe practice will do that, whatever your numbers.

    ——————
    I could go on, but the really short version is that the only way to be safe, is to practice safe sex with someone who has been recently tested, and continues to get tested. Everything else is great for your warm and fuzzy perceptions of lower risk, but is actually not statistically safer, OCD or not.
    —————–

  247. DaddyGT says:

    THE SHORT(er) VERSION … yay!!

    Does increasing the number of sexual partners you have increase the risk of catching something?
    Yes. But so does engaging in sex with just one partner who also has sex with just one other person, since it is hard to control for what said 3rd person might be doing. As a consequence, it is far more important to practice safe sex all the time, even with one partner, than to obsess over just the # of partners.

    Does the number of partners a person has had in the past increase the odds that they have an STI?
    Yes. And no. The clock on the # of partners is reset with every clean STI panel. Thus the number of partners a person has had post testing, is more important than their total lifetime number of partners. Far more important than just the number of partners they have had, is how safe their sexual practice is. This again, cannot be emphasised enough.

    Now, the two questions above are related, but statistically very different. Very different. That many people don’t *get* this, is just one part of the problem.

    —-
    There are a number of factors that determine the statistical probability of catching an STI from a sexual partner.

    The most obvious one, and also the most statistically significant one, is whether said partner has an STI. That’s it. If they do have an STI, how transmittable the STI is, how careful you are when having sex with them, from condom use to dental dams, whether you are circumcised or not, use of lubes and spermicides etc, whether you have bruises, sores or cuts, how long intercourse lasts, and indeed whether you have vaginal, oral or anal sex all begin to kick in. Ultimately though, it boils down to whether the other person has an STI or not.

    The best way to tell this, is to have someone bring extremely recent test results. To every sexual encounter you two have. That’s it. (and even that is fraught with the perils of STIs that have some gestation period before they can be picked up in tests, but that’s another story altogether)

    Waiting for FIXNUM dates before sex will not change that. Knowing the number of partners a person has had will not change that. Knowing their full life history (without also knowing the full history of everyone they have ever kissed or shared bodily fluids with, however inadvertently) will not change that. Knowing whether they put out on date #1 or not, will not change that. Knowing whether they have ever been an escort, or used one, in the past or not will not change that.

    This is where statistical fallibility kicks in. As people, we like to think that by knowing all the above, we can manage the risk. Sure it gives us warm and fuzzies, but does not change reality. Remember, all it takes is one encounter with an infected partner for them to be infected. Whether that was partner #1 (as NewYorker’s example illustrated), or partner #100, is irrelevant.

    So yes, a COED who says “I’ve only ever slept with my high school crush, and one other college boyfriend” and never been tested, is just as risky as a woman who has had 100 partners, and never been tested. You might want to believe it is not so, but it actually is.

    Again, knowing the purported (yes, purported) sexual history of the person you are shagging is great for warm and fuzzies on your perception of how risky they are, but in the absence of clean test results, is irrelevant.

    So to my OCD friends, you are much much better off with a partner who is OCD about safe sex and getting tested regularly, than one who is OCD about keeping a low ‘total number’ by not putting out on date #1, and as Jenniebug put it, “used good judgement when it came to sex partners”.

    Statistics is a bitch, but hey, that’s why we have lotteries and casinos, no?

  248. Nawty Molly says:

    SDinLA ~ Yeah, I’m still waiting for those eggs you know! 😉

  249. Dutch Girl says:

    Dear Blog Gods Can you please email my details/email address to the mighty Official Blog Jester & Blog Slut Emeritus?

    I am not sure what is wrong with my knee, I am resting it at the moment and I have put ice on it.

  250. Tex says:

    @Stormcat “.I hope to eventially attain the position as first knight for all my heroic deeds.
    I thought prima notte was the right of the feudal lord?

  251. DianaSBinOCD says:

    Insomiac Hour.

    @Daddy Gt- Apology accepted. I agree that SDs “care” for their sbs. That can only come with time spent with one another, a bond or connection forming that would be there with or without the sugar. Everyone has different tastes so even I may not be someone’s model pick. I have no issues with that either. I really do think kindness goes a long way because women are generally more forgiving on looks compared to their male counterparts.
    @meg Great stats. Even though you feel some escorts would be deemed crazy for having unprotected sex , they are indeed out there. Many GFE types promote unprotected based on mimicking sex with a real GF or BF. Oral sex is typically given with or without protection. BBBJ s the term which is called Bareback Blow Job. You may have been employed at an agency that was against no condom sex. However this is not necessarily the case for all escorts. It is considered dangerous but it’s still dangerous for someone to see an escort knowing that what they are paying for would land them in jail. People take risks for many different reasons. Also unprotected oral is no different than unprotected sex. Both HSV-1 and HSV-2 can be transferred orally to sex organs on both male and female. Women are statistically more likely to catch an STI or STD from a male partner due to how our anatomy is built.

    @EnglishRose. I’m attracted to men between 30-40 myself. This of course is with or without the sugar but with the added benefits of someone that keeps in shape. If a man is successful and wealthy yet still makes time for me then this also means that he can make time for the gym, some weight training, yoga etc. I personally am not attracted to men that use money as a means to make the world move around them instead of moving around in the world. As I said earlier there are a few SD’s I know that are attracted to beautiful women of a thin build yet they don’t do anything to stay in shape. Then at the same time they get angry with the women that they are using money to keep around feeling “she’s only here for the money”. I even tried to get one my SD friend to stop drinking so much, work out etc. He seems interested but he’s not motivated enough to change. So he just sits on the fence turning his frustrations towards his sugar babies by belittling them and trying to make them feel small and insignificant in order to boost his own ego. I even tried to talk to his sb telling her to not put up with his crap, but he had already shattered her self esteem. He’s one of those guys that you hope goes bankrupt because only then would he have to reflect back on how he’s treated others and even himself.

    @NYGirl DianaofOC.
    I do not think it is politically (scientifically) correct to say the older person the more SDT/partners he/she had. I never said that the older the person is the more STD’s he or she has had. I said it was more likely that they have or may have something. Thanks to meg’s statistical and “scientific” data , the comment I made rings true.
    Here’s a chart for HSV-2:

    Overall 16.2%
    Sex: Male 11.5%
    Sex: Female 20.9%
    Age: 14-19 yrs 0.8% males, 1.4% females
    Age: 20-29 yrs 6.6% males, 14.4% females
    Age: 30-39 yrs 13.9% males, 19.6% females
    Age: 40-49 yrs 19.6% males, 26.1% females <—–( notice the higher percentage rate here)

    On the OCD topic. I probably have some OCD when going to restrooms. I'm the type that brings my own hand sanitizer to the ladies room instead of touching those bathroom sink faucets. It never made sense to me to turn dirty faucets, wash my hands , then turn the dirty faucets back off. Trying to feel clean after opening the bathroom door to leave. After watching a few too many news programs on "where dirt really is" I have a whole process I walk through when I use public anything. I know it's overkill but I feel much better after my "process". There are some places that I may miss out on travelling to because of the stories on having a nice tall glass of cold water turns into someone being hospitalized for some intestinal parasite infestation.

    @Blog Jester
    Having fewer sexual partners, all other things being equal, does not expose you to greater risk of catching something, thinking that is just people who do have lots of partners rationalizing their own risks.
    I agree entirely.

    Oh and I think meg asked how many sb's be them pot ,P4P or arrangements have the SD's here slept with? This includes oral too. Any SD here open to sharing their sb numbers?

    I have slept with 0 SD's. That's my number so far.
    @DorkyGuy-I thought DaddyGT stood for Daddy ( convertible Mustang GT) but I could be wrong. Or maybe he's on the fast track to success (GT). It could even stand for Gran Turismo -luxury and high performance.

  252. DorkyGuy says:

    @whoever asked what DaddyGT’s initials are~ I think I have cracked his code. He is Daddy George Timothy Clooney, and he is working on a movie in South Africa. The whole “celibacy” thing is a clever ploy to obscure his online identity 😛

    @StormCat~ How do you defend the honor of someone whose actual title is “blog slut”? Do you challenge every man who denies sleeping with her to a duel? 😛

    @jenniebug~ Kudos to you for insisting on those tests! I am not presently sexually active, but as I resume activity that will be my model. Recent full-panel test results for every partner I am with. Yeah, that interferes with spontenaeity (no first-date sex, and no one-night-stands), but with consequences that are potentially life-long and dangerous, it just isn’t worth the risk.

    I bet those results were a shock to the men… I doubt they would have consented to the test had they known they had herpes.

    My more immediate STD concern however is for my little 9-month old puppy. The randy little fellow is always trying to hump my feet. Is there any chance of him catching athletes penis? Do they make doggie rubbers?

    @SDinLA~ I stand in solidarity with you on several points. People who are not sexually active are often less active precisely because they are more cautious about STDs. The notion that this would place them at greater risk is just counter-intuitive. I also agree that of course # of partners is a factor, but I have to agree with meg that it isn’t the biggest factor. I would (for example) feel much less at risk with someone like meg or jenniebug who may have high numbers, but have recent clean test results, and are vigilant with protection and keeping themselves informed, than I would with someone who has low numbers, but just never really thought about STDs and prevention.

    Yes, it is true that statistics don’t lie. However, when tallying total number of partners for the purpose of calculating risk, the only ones that really count are those that have been since the last clean test result. If a person, even a promiscuous person, is tested frequently, that should always be a low number.

    @meg~ I am confused on your description of policy at your agency. They required you to allow the man to give you unprotected oral as part of GFE, but forbid you from giving him unprotected oral? That just seems strange. I don’t have stats in front of me, but it seems to me that either act would carry roughly the same amount of risk (other than the moment of completion).

  253. Official Blog Jester & Blog Slut Emeritus says:

    @Dutch Girl in London Congrats on running a PR! Sorry about your knee, do you know if it’s the ACL, MCL, both, partial tear etc.? Hope you get well soon. I’d be happy to look at your profile and give my opinion (as you can see from the blog I am not shy about stating my opinion! ;-))

    Short answer to your other question: Jennie said her father told her it wasn’t classy to have sex on a first date. DaddyGT said when you have sex has no effect on “classiness.” Jennie said willingness to have sex on first date might affect risks of STDs so she refrains. DaddyGT started talking about escorts. I opened my big fat mouth and gave my OCD opinion on risks. Meg saw “escorts” and could not resist jumping in. Et voila. 😉

    @SouthernCharmSB Wow, your already impressive CV just got even better. And I am chuffed that I can still host chocolate pool parties. Woohoo! When should I pencil in the first one, I know you’re a busy young lady. I’m warning you in advance, I may have to dip you in chocolate multiple times to get it juuuuuust right, the O and C in OCD tendencies do stand for “obsessive” and “compulsive” after all. I promise you the removal of the chocolate between dipping attempts will be fun, even if it’s not risk free. 😉

  254. Dutch Girl In London says:

    How did we go from chocolate fountain to STD’s? I did do the cross-country race yesterday and although I did a PB, I think I busted my knee ligament too boo.

    Can any of the SD’s have a look at my profile? I have been rather busy this month and I have not been pro-active and I think the copy/photos may need some tweaking. I am not sure how comfortable I am with posting the profile number on here.

  255. SouthernCharmSB says:

    @SouthernGent2 – I cordially accept your kind invitation :)

    @SDinLA/Offical Blog Jester – Of course I want in on the chocolate pool party! In fact, you should know that I updated my resume recently to include “highly skilled at decorating my body with edible goodies” 😉 Therefore, I vote that, yes, you are still allowed to host the party even without the Blog Slut crown…after all, you’re more of a Blog Slut Emeritus, don’t you think? I mean, let’s face it, once a slut always a slut. LOL!

  256. I feel that as a sexually active person, I have a responsibility to try and keep me and my partners safe. This means muteral STD tests for me and my partner/partners. Getting a comprehensive STD panel every 6mos, weather I’m active or not. Also seeing my obgyn for that twice per year cervical cancer/hpv screening. I keep condoms in my purse. Sometimes my partner will tell me hes out. I simply reply by saying, it’s OK…I brought some. If my partner cares about me and himself, he will take an STD test with me before we have sex. He also wont complain about wrapping it up.

  257. SKitty says:

    Never a dull moment around here is there? =} too bad for me there are not more people with insomnia to give me reading material at work.

  258. Official Blog Jester but no longer Blog Slut says:

    @meg You don’t have to quote that stuff to me, like I said, I have MDs in the family and keep up with all of that stuff (that’s what people with OCD tendencies do.) 😉

    You can believe what you want. Sure nobody is RISK FREE if they are sexually active. I just think it’s ridiculous that some people try to rationalize that having more partners is actually safer because “people who are not as promiscuous are less careful.”

    For people who are not clueless, drunk college sluts (male and female) logic dictates that having had more sexual partners will have exposed you to greater risks, and that being unwilling to sleep with someone on a first date gives you MORE time to get both people tested.

    I seriously don’t know a single person who chooses to take things slow with sex yet is cavalier about protection and ignorant of STD/STI risk. Can you name anyone who is like that? And yet those are the assumed “higher risk” alternatives, running around in the millions to the “promiscuous yet careful” types. Like I said, reverse magical thinking.

    Everyone makes their own decisions re: risk. I am happy with my choices, I just don’t try to believe nonsensical “facts” to make higher risk behavior less risky than the logically less risky alternative.

  259. meg says:

    @ SDinLA – “Currently, there is no HPV test recommended for men. The only approved HPV tests on the market are for screening women for cervical cancer. They are not useful for screening for HPV-related cancers or genital warts in men.”

    “People can also lower their chances of getting HPV by being in a faithful relationship with one partner; limiting their number of sex partners; and choosing a partner who has had no or few prior sex partners. But even people with only one lifetime sex partner can get HPV. And it may not be possible to determine if a partner who has been sexually active in the past is currently infected. That’s why the only sure way to prevent HPV is to avoid all sexual activity.”

    Oh – good point on the “normal adults” comment. One does forget that normal adults exist :-)

  260. Official Blog Jester but no longer Blog Slut says:

    @meg ugh, edited my post too fast, that should read:

    “My “count” is in the mid 20s, I think, don’t really keep track. More than 20, less than 30 for sure. Having fewer sexual partners, all other things being equal, does not expose you to greater risk of catching something, thinking that is just people who do have lots of partners rationalizing their own risks.

  261. Official Blog Jester but no longer Blog Slut says:

    @meg forgot to add, in the context of “first date screwers vs. non-first date screwers” how is the former more likely to get mutually screened for STDs? That makes no sense at all.

    The people I know who are like me, take it slow despite opportunities to hook up or animal attraction, have way more opportunity to get each other tested than if you just met and are having sex on your first date.

    @Jessie OK, I am done with this topic, so you don’t have to kill me 😉

  262. Official Blog Jester but no longer Blog Slut says:

    @meg “A not-so-promiscuous person is more likely to have unprotected sex with you without you both having been screened, is more likely to have a disease without knowing it”

    Huh? I don’t believe this for a second. The original discussion was jennie saying “I don’t put out on a first date.” DGT saying “I will sleep with women on a first date” then… “how many sexual partners you have had doesn’t really affect your risks, look escorts are more careful than many people.”

    I said I avoid first date sex because I am OCD about being exposed to STDs/STIs, and then the discussion has been all over the place.

    The promiscuous people I know like to cite the “fact” that people who don’t sleep around are less careful. I call BS. For youngsters there might be some truth to that. For adults, no way. People are likely to be less promiscuous BECAUSE they fear exposure to STDs/STIs.

    Re: me being fucked. I get tested regularly, even when I have not had sexual relations between tests or have been with one woman and we both have been tested. OCD remember. Oral herpes, yup, pretty much everyone has been exposed to that. Thankfully I never get any sores. As to all your other stats, I am negative for all of them.

    My “count” is in the mid 20s, I think, don’t really keep track. More than 20, sexual partners, all other things being equal, does not expose you to greater risk of catching something is just rationalizing their own risks. I’m fine with people taking whatever risks they want, hey if you are not as careful as I am you get to have sex with way more people, and probably experience a wider variety of stuff. But it’s nonsensical to try and make it seem like you have equal or lower risks than those who are less prolific due to “being more knowledgeable and more careful.”

    I’m not talking about escorts vs. slutty frat boys/sorority girls. I’m talking risks to normal adults.

  263. Jessie says:

    @Blog Jester – I do eat my candies by color, have a thing about numbers too…like I won’t sleep with you on the 1st or 3rd date…gotta be 2nd or 4th ;), my entire closet is organized by color, my books, dvds, and cds, are all alphabetized, my cereal boxes are by height BUT I don’t have to turn the lights on/off a certain amount of time so but yeah I know I’m not insane :). You know what drives me batty on this blog though, when a question is asked and it seems like everyone is answering an invisible question (one that wasn’t asked). For instance @DaddyGT asked how many dates are you willing to go on to get to know a SD without the benefit of an allowance. And the answers seem to be…”I’ll have sex on…” I still can’t see the correlation between that question and the answers.

  264. meg says:

    @Official Blog Jester but no longer Blog Slut/English Rose –

    Let’s put it this way.

    Members of stigmatized sexual minorities (the poly-crew, GLBTQ-ers) face stigma because they’re assumed to be disease ridden. They also participate in subcultures where sex is actively and openly talked about. Part of their identity mangagement techniques, likely, is to ‘defy the stereotype’ (aka disease ridden) & do so by inter and intra-subcultural discourse on safe sex.

    Not so, my friend, with horny sorority chicks, college co-eds, groupies, & LA/NYC party girls. [the very fact that people on this blog are concerned about & discussing STD-risks illustrates the point. We’re a stigmatized & promiscuous–by normal standards–sexual subculture. For the most part, people posting on this blog are knowledgeable & careful re. reducing STD risks].

    The same also goes for not-survival-sex prostitutes. I think it’s more about identifying with a stigmatized sexual identity & participating in sex-centric subcultures.

    I guess it also depends on where you are in your promiscuous career.

    A promiscuous 18 year old may be stupid about protecting herself against STD risks. A promiscuous 30 year old (who probably has promiscuous friends with a horror story, or has a shit-I-got-the-clap-story-herself) will likely be quite careful. A non-promiscuous 30 year old without a history of promiscuity or promiscuous friends may be stupid & contract something unknowingly, may not be up-to-date on risks, may not know how to use birth control & safe-sex methods properly, etc. etc. etc.

    I don’t really see any difference between the ‘promiscuity-STD’ correlation & the ‘promiscuity-unwanted pregnancy’ correlation. Maybe a bit less tight…but my guess is that regularly promiscuous people have fewer unwanted pregnancies & put themselves at risk of STD contraction less often than periodically promiscuous people…

    And really, all you need to do is carry out an STD-screening to check if the promiscuous party is diseased or not…no?

    I’m not sure what the question is, anyways.

    A not-so-promiscuous person is more likely to have unprotected sex with you without you both having been screened, is more likely to have a disease without knowing it but may be less likely to have had intercourse with a carrier than a promiscuous person.

    A promiscuous person is less likely to have unprotected sex with you in the first place & is more likely to use protection appropriately and know whether or not they are a carrier. So…they’re more likely to have engaged in intercourse with a diseased person but less likely to become diseased through intercourse and further transmit a disease they don’t know they have and haven’t been treated for…or to engage in types of intercourse (aka – unprotected) that carry a 400-2000-fold greater risk for transmission.

    Final verdict – it’s a toss-up.

    Mmm & re. HPV and Herpes?

    appx. 30% of all women have some form of HPV.

    HPV prevalence in men was 1.3%-72.9% in studies in which multiple anatomic sites or specimens were evaluated; 15 (56%) of these studies reported > or =20% HPV prevalence. HPV prevalence varied on the basis of sampling, processing methods, and the anatomic site(s) or specimen(s) sampled. We included 15 publications reporting HPV seroprevalence. Rates of seropositivity depended on the population, HPV type, and methods used. In 9 studies that evaluated both men and women, all but 1 demonstrated that HPV seroprevalence was lower in men than in women.

    Oral Herpes – “By the time they’re teenagers or young adults, about 50% of Americans have HSV-1 antibodies in their blood. By the time they are over age 50, some 80-90% of Americans have HSV-1 antibodies.”

    Genital Herpes – 16.2% overall; 39.2 – Af-am overall; 48% Af am women.

    Here’s a chart for HSV-2:

    Overall 16.2%
    Sex: Male 11.5%
    Sex: Female 20.9%
    Age: 14-19 yrs 0.8% males, 1.4% females
    Age: 20-29 yrs 6.6% males, 14.4% females
    Age: 30-39 yrs 13.9% males, 19.6% females
    Age: 40-49 yrs 19.6% males, 26.1% females
    Ethnicity: White, non-Hispanic 8.7% males, 15.9% females
    Ethnicity: Black, non-Hispanic 29.0% males, 39.2% females
    Ethnicity: Mexican American 7.5% males, 13.2% females
    1 Lifetime Sex Partner 1.7% males, 5.4% females
    2-4 Lifetime Sex Partners 7.3% males, 18.8% females
    5-9 Lifetime Sex Partners 10.1% males, 21.8% females
    >10 Lifetime Sex Partners 19.1% males, 37.1% females

    Mmm…my guess is that most of the people on SA (& that you’re interacting with…) are probably in the >10 Lifetime Sex Partners group?

    So – those two are everywhere & are transmitted by kissing & oral sex. My guess, SDinLA, is that you have HSV-1 antibodies as well as several strains of HPV if you have received or given oral sex with over ten partners and kissed more than 20 people in your life. Sorry. Transmission risks through oral sex for other diseases are either negligible, or the diseases are curable.

    Honestly, you’re quite fucked or have already been fucked (unless you don’t fuck, stop fucking or only fuck virgins) regardless.

  265. Official Blog Jester but no longer Blog Slut says:

    @Jessie Sorry, I know I’m either the Blog Jester/Slut or the Debbie Downer who wants to talk about taxes and STDs… 😉

    Hmm, let’s see… I don’t really have too many OCD tendencies outside of the STD stuff. I used to be kind of a germophobe- didn’t like to touch public door handles, use public restrooms and such- but I’ve largely cured those habits.

    I guess there are a few things… when administering a spanking to a naughty SB I have to give 73 spanks. Not 72, or 74, 73. And before I leave the house every day I line up all my stuffed animals on my bed JUST so, so when I get home and go into the bedroom they look like they are waiting to greet me (The servants know not to touch them, but Spot sometimes knocks them down.) And I eat candy by colours, in a particular order, i.e. I pour the bag out, sort them by colour and eat all the yellow ones first, blue ones second, red ones third etc. And there is a different order of colours depending on the type of candy. Little stuff like that, nothing “crazy” like tying my shoes 100 times before I can leave the house, those people are INSANE. 😉

  266. Jessie says:

    @OCD debunker (Your other names are too long and I’m wayyy too lazy to type them anyway ;). Seemed like someone pressed your STD button…LOL. I do agree with everything you’ve said, and unless someone is “riding on the crazy train” I think they’ll get your point too. So can we talk about you other “disease” which I’m totally intrigued by? Please? What else are you OCD about?

  267. In my mind, everyone has an std until proven innocent…

  268. Official Blog Jester but no longer Blog Slut says:

    @Tina Actually my gastronomical tastes and my opinions on floral wallpaper are decidedly middle of the road. My political views are pretty middle of the road too, as are my likes/dislikes in music/movies.

    @Anna Molly Yes, it seems like just yesterday that I was enticing Naughty into my dungeon with Cadbury Eggs, and that was 2 years ago.

  269. Official Blog Jester but no longer Blog Slut says:

    All right back from dinner and on my soap box…

    @EnglishRose You seem like a lovely young lady, and I actually think DaddyGT and I would get along (I get along fine with my promiscuous guy friends) but I can’t let this go.

    You wrote: “People who intentionally have a lot of sexual partners are probably more aware of the dangers then those who don’t, and therefore less likely to contract something!”

    Auuuuuuuuggghhhhhh!!!! How can otherwise intelligent people make such insanely illogical remarks and actually believe them?!?!?!?! I see this stated time and time again by people who have lots of sex partners. It’s a testament to the human brain’s ability to rationalize one’s own decisions I suppose, the ultimate confirmation bias.

    How is someone who has FEWER sexual partners MORE likely to be an idiot and have unprotected sex?! That does NOT compute. Maybe for first timers you could concoct some kind of twisted logic to support that point of view, but for normal adults, HUH?!?!?!?!

    People who have fewer sexual partners than those who are actively sleeping with multiple partners have not had lobotomies. They are not dumber than promiscuous people. They are likely either in a committed, monogamous relationship; not as horny (low sex drive, whatever); or kind of OCD like me.

    In VERY few of those cases, is it likely that the person is uneducated about STD risks versus someone who sleeps with more people. In fact, I don’t know ANYONE who is like that. The women I know who don’t have a lot of partners are usually like me, COMPLETELY paranoid about STDs. And the promiscuous men I know (which is most of the men I know honestly) are the ones who pressure women to not use condoms etc.

    Certain communities might be more conscientious as a whole, contrary to popular belief, such as swingers and such. My swinger friends have on the whole been super aware of the issues of STDs/STIs.

    But to say that just because someone is promiscuous (and that term is not a pejorative one to me, just a descriptive one) they are MORE likely to be safe than someone who sleeps with fewer partners is just a prime example of reverse magical thinking and rationalization.

    If you sleep with people who have other risk factors that are greater, that can have a huge effect on your own risk of exposure to STDs/STIs. But to claim that in and of itself, being promiscuous does not increase your risks and in fact people who are promiscuous are more careful and ergo LESS likely to give you a STD/STI is just crazy talk. And I hear it from my promiscuous friends all the time like it is some kind of religion. If they repeat it often enough it will be true and they don’t have to worry.

    I have no issues with people choosing to take risks. Ironically for someone who is so OCD about STDs/STIs, I’ve spent much of my life engaging in risky activities that the average person never does: sky diving, racing cars and motorcycles at 200mph, flying, jumping over large objects at high speed on horses/motorcycles, racing yachts across dangerous oceans where people die all the time. But I ACCEPT the risks I’ve taken. I don’t try to convince myself that my behavior is just as safe as sitting at home on the couch.

    These are diseases that are spread by sex. You have sex with more partners, you have higher risks of catching them. Accept it.

    And safe sex by most people’s measures don’t protect against many of these things. Even if you use condoms 100% of the time, I bet most people don’t use dental dams and avoid all fluid exchange. As NYGirl said, there is evidence now that men who perform oral sex regularly are getting oral cancer at higher rates due to HPV. If you use condoms, dental dams, inspect yourself and your partners for any cuts, lacerations in the mouth and genital areas and do all the things meg mentioned, then yea, maybe your odds are no higher than someone who is not promiscuous. But I know a Ton of promiscuous people and NONE of them do that. Even I don’t go to that extreme and I’m OCD as hell.

    I need a new title to replace “Blog Slut.” Maybe “Official Blog Jester and OCD debunker of Irrational thinking” should be it. 😉

  270. Anna Molly says:

    CandyCoated mentioned veterans…I just realized that I’ve been posting here since the end of 2009. 😀
    I can’t believe it’s been that long since the NYC blog meet either! Wow, time has flown by!

  271. Anna Molly says:

    Wow! I missed a lot! I always do…sigh.

    I hope everyone is having a good Saturday! :)

  272. CandyCoated says:

    Hey sugar family!
    Despite the lack of response smh. Anyway, any new sugar babies here feeling overwhelmed by the veterans here, head on over to my joint blog with Nwsugarbaby (just click my name).

    We’d love to get a group talking over there!

    Happy Saturday

  273. NYG says:

    Thank you Meg. about GFE definition .
    I am off to Manhattan’ night life. :)
    Promise to be safe. :)

    Ttyt.

  274. EnglishRose says:

    @DaddyGT
    No hangover 😛 I only had two glasses of wine! I only tend to get hangovers if I mix my drinks (a terrible habit).

    I think I’ll have to retract my statement about slapping, Beach Girl is taking the much higher moral ground (grumble grumble) and she’s right that one shouldn’t “Feed the animals”.
    ..But still bet on me 😉

    RE: STD’s
    I actually agree with DaddyGT that the chance of someone having STD’s doesn’t necessarily rise with the number of partners. People who intentionally have a lot of sexual partners are probably more aware of the dangers then those who don’t, and therefore less likely to contract something!
    Sadly, like NewYorkGirl I know of far too many girls who didn’t use a condom on their first time.
    I think with these things you can only really judge by individuals, safe sex comes from a combination of education, maturity, awareness, confidence (girls are less likely to insist on condoms if they are insecure) practice and OCD 😉

    @DianaofOC
    I hope you won’t think I’m being argumentative but I’m going to pick apart your last comment a bit as I disagree with quite a few statements. And if I’ve misunderstood anything you’ve said apologies in advance!

    Many of the married men are looking for sex on the side. They are not looking to fall in love with their sbs and many will cut the arrangement off if they do.

    I understand where you’re coming from, but I think you’re missing the middle ground here. It doesn’t have to be sex with no feelings vs. falling in love. You’re not giving some SD’s due credit! All men want sex, we know that, but being NSA doesn’t mean there can’t be non-sexual intimacy involved. Isn’t that why we have SD’s and not Johns?

    Most sbs are not approaching the sugar bowl as they would in real life dating.

    Maybe I’m just not in the “most” category, but I think I approach the sugar bowl in quite a similar manner, if not improved! I feel more confident & therefore happier to be open & honest (something which all relationships could benefit from.

    Secondly many are not even attracted to their Sd’s……..If you are an attractive man , why would someone ever need to fake being attracted to you?

    I would not enter an arrangement if I wasn’t attracted to my SD, but I think there is a difference between being attracted & lusting after someone, something which a lot of young people find hard to differentiate.
    Also…would you consider David Beckenham to be an “attractive man”? I would definitely have to fake it with him. Beauty is not universal.

    If young women were really that attracted to much older men then this site wouldn’t be necessary. Nor would *sugar* or real money even be thought of. It would be just another date with a guy regardless of his age or his “rubenesque” physique.

    I feel like you’re discounting all the reasons why I choose sugar and saying they don’t exist! Haha. I am attracted to older men! But at 21, and in my line of work my social circles don’t tend to cross regularly with those in the 30-40 range. And, the truth of the matter is, rich people tend to associate with rich people, I don’t mean that in a bad way, but that’s the way society works, you’ll attend the same schools, the same workplace, the same neighbourhood, charity events etc etc.
    So, I’m attracted to wealthy 30-40 year olds – Do I get the chance to associate with them in real life? Very rarely.
    Also, I find men with money attractive (something which is deemed as “wrong” by most of society, while liking a man for his rock hard ab’s is fine…) I like a man who works hard, is intelligent, ambitious & in a position of power – they are all big turn ons! But if I started going up to men in real life asking them their yearly earnings or if they’re willing to share some of their wealth with me then I probably wouldn’t get very far! SA is the perfect conduit for me.

    I’m really sorry if I sound like I’m creating conflict, just sharing my opinions and views, and I completely respect yours if they differ from mine! :)

  275. meg says:

    Dorky – I give up for today…

    Re promiscuity and STDs, several factors:

    1) # of partners with unprotected:
    1a) Anal
    1b) Vaginal
    1c) Oral
    sex.
    2) Screening prior to entering into 1a, 1b, 1c.
    3) Ability & care in spotting signs of STDs
    4) Total Number of Partners…

    In that order…

    For example, I would say someone who has had unprotected vaginal/anal sex with 3 men; after having dated for 4 months. And they were STD-checked; and who she was living with. Was careful re. detecting cold-sores/signs of herpes/odd discharge (ingrown hair my a*^). Refrained from flossing/brushing teeth for 3 hours prior to/following unprotected oral with non-boyfriends. Gave unprotected oral sex to 20. And had protected intercourse with hundreds. & got tested on a bi-monthly basis.

    Would be less risky than someone who has had unprotected vaginal intercourse with 10. Given unprotected blow jobs to 30. Kissed 70. And has never been tested.

  276. NewYorkGirl says:

    DianaofOC.

    I do not know about this research and SDT double after age of 45 and up. ? Really? can you link this research here?
    What STD exactly we are talking about “no symptoms SDT” you mentioned.

    And I would not know about “bareback” jargon…. May be Meg. Can help in here,? please. How many pros would do it with NO condom?
    I always thought “GFE” implies all this things you Diana mentioned – cuddling, kissing, more time spent AND of course condom. No?
    And SD/SB relationship implies condoms. unless they decided to go exclusive after a few month already been exclusive …. May be then they can do it with no condom ?

    NOW it strikes me. VA gent cares so much about exclusivity of his SB … They go no condom. (and he loves her, and he is monogamist of course first of all).

    Diana, btw, no one pot SD asked me to do it with no condom on this site.
    coz sometimes (if I might consider a guy ) I ask him like … “theoretically speaking … If we like each other ….blah… Blah…. You would use a condom?” always a guy would answer “I would not even consider to do it with no condom”.

    I was actually worry and referring here that condoms do not guarantee 100% safe sex. And that is why smart and experienced guys here are looking not a real and clean girl.

  277. Tina says:

    @ Official Blog Jester but no longer Blog Slut: you’re not middle of the road on anything!

    Dang, this is still going strong, and here I have to go to bed so I can be up early again tomorrow for work….*sigh*……..goodnight my dearies! :)

  278. Official Blog Jester but no longer Blog Slut says:

    @DaddyGT Yeah, we’re kind of talking at cross purposes here. TBH I have had this debate ad nauseum with umpteen male friends over the years, especially the ones who’ve had a high # of sexual partners.

    Re: people perceiving risk to be lower than it really is, I don’t disagree. But to say that “Since we can’t ever really know 100% then NOBODY is low risk.” is a classic example to me of being in denial- that is EXACTLY what people who engage in risky behavior often tell themselves to jusitfy to themselves why their behavior is not risky.

    And it’s semantics re: what constitutes “low.” I’d say what is important is not “low” but “acceptable” risk. And since different people have different tolerances, that # will vary, but I would disagree that “nobody is a low risk.”

    I’d argue that someone who is 20 and has had 2 partners is statistically going to be low risk, and much lower than someone who is 35 and has had 50 partners. One of my SBs had one partner before me. It was her HS boyfriend who got her pregnant and turned her off the idea of sex. I’d say she was low risk by anybody’s standards. To me saying “You can’t ever know 100% so nobody is low risk” is a rationalization of one’s choices/behavior. “My behavior may not be low risk, but since we can’t ever really now nobody’s else behavior can be low risk too so I’m fine with what I am doing.”

    And I am not claiming that # of sexual partners ALONE is enough. (Sorry for the lack of bolding/italics and such, I am way too lazy to add tags to my typing.) I am just saying that when evaluating “Will he/she sleep with me on a first date” is relevant to the overall RISK because someone who will sleep with me on a first date is likelier to have done so before and is ergo likelier to have had more partners- if for no other reason than if you go on 500 dates and are willing to sleep with someone on a first date, you’re likely to have had more partners than someone who as a rule waits 5 dates minimum and goes on those same 500 dates. That’s just math.

    Most often, it’s the guys who WANT sex on the first date who argue that it makes no difference to the risk. And of course they will argue that. Yes safe sex practices, drug habits, hygiene- all kinds of other factors matter too- BUT odds are odds and if you agree that > # of partners = greater risk, then willingness to jump in the sack on a first date in all likelihood increases one’s risks.

    Of course, “clean and disease free + 100 partners” is preferable to “disease ridden + 5 partners” but that’s not the question being asked. As someone who has no issues with sleeping with someone on the first dates, you seemed to be insinuating that in and of itself, willingness to sleep with you on a first date it is NOT an indicator of increased risk. I am just saying that to me, and many of my female friends, it IS an indicator of increased risk. If that’s not what you were saying, mea culpa.

    You can say you are not in denial, but to say “Unless I see hospital figures showing where people got their STIs/STDs from we can’t say either way” to me IS being in denial.

    You admit that higher # of partners, all other factors aside/being equal, increases one’s risk of being exposed to a STI/STD. All I am saying is that if that’s the case, behavior that increases your partner’s likelihood of having had a higher # of partners (and I submit that being willing to sleep with someone on a first date is behavior that means your partner is likely to have had more partners) increases your RISK of exposure. To say that “Until I see statistics that show %s of where people got STIs/STDs from we can’t say IS facetious to me. It’s common sense. These are diseases that are transmitted between people when they have sex. How can you not be more likely to catch one if you sleep with 30 single people than if you only sleep with one person? (spouse/significant other etc.) All other factors being taken into account.

    Bottom line I was just saying: higher # of partners = higher risk of exposure. Willingness to sleep on first date = higher probability of higher # of partners, therefore INCREASED risk vs. those who choose not to do so. Because your initial riposte to jenniebug when she said she never “puts out” on a first date seemed to say that how soon you sleep with someone has no effect on your risk of being exposed to STIs/STDs.

    (And yes I know I am not “middle of the road” on this issue.) 😉

    Off to dinner, where I am sure I’ll continue the same topic of discussion with my friends since it is now on my mind…

  279. meg says:

    Okay – I have to offer a ‘correction’ on DianaSBinOC’s post (so post 2.5 of today):

    GFE does not mean bareback sex. No escort in her right mind, & no client in HIS right mind would even consider such a thing.

    GFE is a term that refers to two things
    1) A euphemism referring to a menu of sexual services (typically, uncovered blow job, kissing, receiving oral sex; occasionally also come-in-mouth, swallowing. NEVER bare-back sex ; It varies, however. The agency I was employed at was very adamant on no unprotected oral sex…actually, my first conversation with the agent provides the best STD-risk-lecture I’ve ever received; but kissing & recieving oral were required, & the agency was the typical upscale GFE-mentality-agency)
    2) A mentality: Here’s a description from a review board:

    For me, the GFE treatment means enjoying a leisurely, romantic visit with a lady, and moving to the bedroom only when the mood has fully ripened. When I arrive at an incall appointment, I’m always tense and anxious from struggling with traffic, and I need time to shift into my biological low gear. To feel relaxed and ready for intimacy.In my vision of the proper GFE, the lady would greet me at the door, ready to receive me. We’d begin the visit just relaxing on the sofa, relating and connecting. Warming up to each other in our own good time, and drawing closer as we feel ready. Relating would flow into cuddling, and cuddling into caressing, kissing, and gentle exploration. And the next step to the bedroom would be allowed to come in the natural course of events. The GFE, for me, means an unhurried mutual seduction in a romantic atmosphere.Possibly I could enrich my description of the GFE by describing some of the things that I think detract from, or aren’t part of, the GFE session. Having to wait while the provider prepares for my session after I arrive is very uncool and very unprofessional on the part of the provider. Being led directly to the bedroom when I arrive is okay if all I want is a good tumble. But when it happens, the session can never be a GFE, no matter what follows. For me, nothing that happens in the bedroom can make a session a GFE. I can imagine nothing that more effectively prevents a visit from being GFE than haste; for that reason, I always book two hours when I’m hoping for a really special visit. I believe a proper GFE visit can probably be done in an hour, but when only an hour is booked, providers seem to assume that the client wants only basic sex. I’ve always said that *true* GFE can only be had with a true GF, but with a little suspension of disbelief, a quality provider can still offer a visit that will leave long-lingering memories.

    So – what differentiates that from Sugar Dating? I’ve been mulling this over in my head for the last 8 months.

    I think the essential difference is this:

    a ‘gfe mentality’ escort working independently will : target advertising towards a select client group & screen for – respectfulness, some level of compatibility (even if that’s merely educated & high SES), and trustworthiness. You can really tell the difference in a few email exchanges. In other words, she screens out anyone who she does not believe she will be able to offer a high level of emotional & sexual services to…anyone she won’t be able to coax herself into liking…

    But essentially she’s meeting with & screwing them because they’re paying her standard rates. She’s not meeting & screwing them because they’re nice to her, make her feel special, care about her, express interest in her personal endeavors, etc. Non-material exchange is absolutely divorced from her decision to enter into interactions with a given potential client.

    However, non-material exchange does have the potential to affect the quality of interactions she has with the client & also to offer special rates or spend extra time with a client beyond the purchased time. If the client is especially thoughtful & nice, if there’s a connection, if he tips well & brings thoughtful gifts & sees her regularly, she’ll spend extra time with him, be more willing to email & TM him in-between bookings, sessions will be more authentic, she’ll relax a bit more, she’ll tell the client a bit more about her own life.

    Sugar Dating emotional exchange is integrated into the woman’s decision to engage in intimacy. In some sugar relationships, material exchange is actually processed as generosity rather than payment…in other words, if an SD alleviates the woman of debt, she thinks “oh! what a great guy! I’m so grateful!” and thus comes to want to be intimate with him.

    Of course, because care, consideration, mentorship & emotional support are requirements for intimacy, they are also expected, to a greater or lesser extent, by the SB. Thus, not responding to a TM, not sending a card on her birthday, not buying a gift for valentines day, reducing communications all produce negative emotional responses.

    Whereas an escort, even with a regular client she quite likes, will be fairly indifferent to all of the above. Simply because care, consideration, mentorship, chemistry & emotional support were not a part of the exchange which gave birth to the relationship.

    Make sense?

  280. DinanSBinOC- I think it was good for them too. One told me that he had never had an STD test in his life. He just said he was never really concerned about it because he thought he had used good judgement when it came to sex partners. I felt like at least he knows now and can get treatment.

  281. Tina says:

    @jenniebug: you’re my hero for having them get tested!

  282. DianaSBinOC says:

    @NYGirl ~ I’ve done some escort research to see what it is they offer. Generally the men they see them are 35 and up. Some even offer “bareback” or what’s named “GFE” (Girlfriend Experience). Bareback allows men to sleep without condoms. GFE is the experience in which the escorts provides an experience close to what a girlfriend does. So no condoms. Not all do this but many do. This is kissing, oral and sex without a condom or any other type of protection with multiples partners. If these partners have something already , they are not only giving it to the escort but the escort is in turn is possibly giving it to anyone she’s coming in contact with. If an escort catches Aids or herpes will she notify her clients or stop working? Probably not. It’s her job and if someone wants to take the chance of having unprotected sex with her than that’s their choice. So age does factor in because not all SD’s are true SD’s . Some may have converted from being a John to an SD and some do the Johnish type of arrangement. You just don’t know

    If a SD is actually looking for unprotected sex with a SB, you have to wonder why doesn’t he care? Is it his safety that he’s not worried about or is he looking to damage yours. If you look around you’ll see it on many profiles in age ranges of 40 and upwards.

    Also STD rates have more than doubled in people aged 45 and up. I didn’t make up this information btw. So yes it’s true that you can get an STD at any age, but because of age and partners over time of an older individual, they have a greater chance at having an STD even if they show no symptoms.

    @jenniebug – I didn’t think you had anything but it was good that those SD’s were open to being tested.

  283. Tina says:

    @SDinLA: I was SO not mad about being left out of the chocolate discussion. Just pouting 😛 And I know, working makes me all responsible ‘n stuff. What a drag 😛

    Too bad I had to work today, looks like I’m coming in on the tail end of some very interesting discussions.

    As far as sleeping with someone on the first date, I have to add my opinion. I haven’t had a huge number of partners, but when I’m attracted to someone, things move at their own pace. There is an ex in my past that I slept with on the first date, and we stayed together for almost 4 years. There is another that we flirted for months, lost touch, came back together, dated / flirted for a few more months, had sex then never really dated again. I don’t think that WHEN you have sex matters, it’s more of WHY. Are you attracted to the person physically, or is it deeper than that? It also matters how many people you are having sex with at a time; I’m perfectly fine dating multiple people at a time, but only 1 (if any) are getting some. I’m a monogamous sexist 😉

    And I will join the crowd of OCD for STDs……

  284. DaddyGT says:

    @Official Blog Jester but no longer Blog Slut

    Somehow the topic got changed.

    That happens quite a few times for every new blog post on this site. I thought that that was par for the course.

    What IS relevant to me, and to quite a few of the blog SBs it seems, is that we are wary of STDs and STIs, which BY THEIR VERY NAME are diseases and infections that are transmitted sexually. Many which are not curable and/or increase your risk of other serious diseases

    At no point in any of my posts did I discount the severity of STIs nor indeed did I ever trivialise the importance of the topic. I am fully aware of the implications of catching an STI.

    The issue of whether or not you are more likely to catch a STD/STI from an escort or your neighbor is irrelevant.

    No, it isn’t. Not really. Which in part was the point of my original STI/STD reference. The truth in real life, is that many people will engage in less safe sexual practices with people that they perceive to be low risk, despite the fact that in many respects nobody is really low risk. That was my initial assertion, and one I will continue to stand by.

    And to those of us who do NOT frequent escorts, the # of sexual partners a person we are contemplating sleeping with is DIRECTLY relevant to our risk of catching a STD/STI fro said person.

    I do not deny this. There are many of us here who do not frequent escorts, myself included.My main point though, was that the number of partners one has had in the past alone is not enough. One’s sexual practices, or safe-sex-habits if you will, are just as important, if not more so.

    I think NewYorkGirl’s post about her 18 year old friend’s story is testament of this.

    Yes, there are outliers, but habits matter, but it would be completely facetious to claim that there is no overall correlation between SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED Infections and diseases and the # of SEXUAL partners one has had.

    I’m struggling to find anything in what I have written here that would lead you to conclude that I am saying the above. That said, I am personally far more interested in whether my sexual partner is clean an disease free than I am in how many sexual partners she has had before me.

    You can argue about how rational it is to be OCD about STDs/STIs-

    Again, an argument I have certainly not made. At *no* point in any of my posts did I mention OCD, OCD tendencies, or even suggest that these might be irrational.

    The general gist of my initial argument was that there is a tendency amoungst the entire populace, to overestimate the risk of catching something from a professional sex worker, (and this is the clincher) whilst significantly underestimating the risk of getting the same from the downstairs neighbour.

    But IMO anyone who claims that there is no correlation between RISK of being exposed to a STD/STI and the answers to the questions, “How many?” and “How soon?” and other behavorial indicators in our potential sexual partners is just completely in denial.

    Ultimately, this is what it comes down to. Opinion.

    I am certainly not in denial. On the contrary, I am fascinated by opinions, in the same way I am fascinated by what the numbers on the ground show.

    Short of hospital figures showing whether the people who come in with STIs/STDs got them from a professional, a casual encounter, or a more significant other, we can’t say either way.

    I WISH I could be cavalier about risk of STDs/STIs.

    I think that you are missing the informed medium. One need not be OCD or cavalier to be safe. There is a middle ground.

    Safe sex is an important topic, particularly to anyone in non conventional relationships. I must admit that there is far more discussion of this topic in other lifestyle communities such as the poly community, and the various kink ones than I have seen here.

    My sample size is tiny (this being the one major sugar blog I read), but the topic of safe sexual practice is probably one that needs several main blog posts, and a higher profile in the sugar bowl than the “getting mentioned” in passing that you see here.

    From things like water vs oil based lubes and condoms, to safe use of toys, safe oral sex, and indeed hygiene conduct for those seeing more than on SB or SD at a time, there are a lot of areas and topics that are just as important to safe sex than just the number of partners someone has had.

    I’ll finish off by saying that I do hope you re-read my posts on this topic. I am not in denial. I am not being facetious. I am not trivialising the topic. I just think the topic certainly warrants more discussion than a blanket “the more partners someone has had the more likely they are to be carrying something.” I think I’ll stop here.

  285. meg says:

    @ All re. STDs.

    Dorky-doodle, re. escorts & stds…you really can’t trust the information that gets passed around out there. Apparently, all escorts also entered the industry between the ages of 12-14 & were sexually abused as children. You most likely got that information ca. HIV-epidemic era…I think there was an attempt to peg HIV transmission on prostitutes that was disproven completely in the early nineties.

    Re. Emotional connection. Here’s my typology:

    Apathetic, dead-fish sex: any escort who does >30 min bookings, charges less than $200 US.

    Impersonal sex with a hot girl : 30 min bookings – 1 hour. The average escort, agency escort, whatever.

    Kinky fantasies: 300-400 range, advertise PSE…the photographs – not artsy, typical over-saturated, brightly-colored lingerie. Lingo in ads such as “I want to hear all about your forbidden fantasies! I want to keep you feeling frisky and turned on from the moment we meet.
    To unwind, I enjoy long bubble baths, topless sunbathing, and hot yoga to increase my flexibility. I love to travel and gain new experiences.” Pictures – nude, thong, implants, blonde, fake tans…you get the gist. There are actually a lot of escorts who really enjoy doing this kind of stuff…so you can search them out as well.

    Discrete encounters including sex/intimacy with a sense of emotional connection – google “bounded authenticity” basically, if what you really want is great sex, companionship, cuddling, pillow-talk, passionate kissing, giggling, a good listener, an “instant-girl-friend-like” feel. For a limited period of time (1hr, 12 hrs, whatever). & really don’t want to think about, feel responsible for, or communicate with the woman when you’re not physically with her. [Basically, this option is best for men who are happily married but bored/don’t get enough sex/going through a midlife crisis/travel all the time on business].

    Find a true GFE escort. You can definitely get this from people who advertise as VIP on eros, for example. But you can also find it from older escorts. Also – if you look on Backpage, every day there’ll be 2 or 3 posts from someone that I can tell are put up by an individual with that mentality. Here’s an example of one of those posts:

    “Intelligent, open minded, redhead companion with a bombshell (36B-28-38) figure seeks intelligent, generous gentleman for evenings in (or out). I can provide sparkling conversation and charming company out on the town or in more private settings. I’m an especially good match for those with exploratory tastes. I prefer spending time with friends who are over 35, and who know how to treat a woman like a lady. One line responses or those written in text language will not receive a response.”

    Another excerpt:

    “I am the perfect remedy for those whose lives are too often all work and no play. It would be my pleasure to use my talents in service of what you need, be that an intimate and low-key overnight or a spirited weekend adventure. I will offer you all of my energy, warmth, and discretion.I have a graduate degree, a stamp-trampled passport, and an array of interests ranging from the athletic to the intellectual. But there is certainly no shortage of educated and accomplished women with whom to spend your time, and I think my curiosity and sincerity are what truly set me apart. I don’t want to impress you; I want to connect with you.”

    So basically, search for ads that use the term “friends,” “connect,” talk about how they personally enjoy the chance to unwind with a select group of friends. Um, & TER is also a great place to look…reviews & also, on discussion forums there are a few escorts who post fairly regularly, & you can get a fair sense of their personality there.
    Book at least a 2 hour appointment. Um, and if you see her frequently, she’ll probably be more than happy to exchange a few emails tms in between appointments, maintain a casual friendship.

    A girlfriend with ‘limits’/an ego-boost from having a slew of hot hook-ups or a very attractive girlfriend/unprotected sex/a mistress/A close friend you also have sex with/etc. Sugar-land. Really, the main difference between this and the previous post is that these relationships are continuous rather than discrete. & expectations are less clear (& thus, relationships are often more emotionally involved).

  286. Official Blog Jester but no longer Blog Slut says:

    @DaddyGT Somehow the topic got changed. The discussion I entered with a description of my OWN hang-ups, dos and don’t etc. was the one re: “How soon you sleep with someone.” and “If they will sleep with me on a first date does that mean they’ve done this with 50 other first dates.” That is, my main fear of early hookups is that I put myself at higher risk of catching a STD/STI because said person’s willingness to jump in the sack with me on the first date might be an indicator that they have engaged in such behavior numerous times in the past.

    The issue of whether or not you are more likely to catch a STD/STI from an escort or your neighbor is irrelevant.

    What IS relevant to me, and to quite a few of the blog SBs it seems, is that we are wary of STDs and STIs, which BY THEIR VERY NAME are diseases and infections that are transmitted sexually. Many which are not curable and/or increase your risk of other serious diseases.

    And to those of us who do NOT frequent escorts, the # of sexual partners a person we are contemplating sleeping with is DIRECTLY relevant to our risk of catching a STD/STI fro said person.

    Yes, there are outliers, but habits matter, but it would be completely facetious to claim that there is no overall correlation between SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED Infections and diseases and the # of SEXUAL partners one has had.

    IF, there were an instant method to prove a lack of said diseases/infections in a potential partner, then # of past partners is irrelevant and indeed more experience may equate to being a better lover. BUT there is no such method, ergo anyone who IS worried about STDs/STIs is going to take someone’s promiscuity into account.

    You can argue about how rational it is to be OCD about STDs/STIs- we take risks every day and who know, our number could be called crossing the street or eating lunch by a bus or by choking on food. But IMO anyone who claims that there is no correlation between RISK of being exposed to a STD/STI and the answers to the questions, “How many?” and “How soon?” and other behavorial indicators in our potential sexual partners is just completely in denial. If you choose to be in denial, that’s fine, but millions of people HAVE herpes 2, or Chlamydia, or HPV or Hepatitis and the long term health issues that come along with those things.

    I WISH I could be cavalier about risk of STDs/STIs. I’ve passed up so many opportunities for NSA sex with smoking hot women in my life that my male friends are convinced that having my OCD tendencies would be worse than being HIV positive (Not denigrating the seriousness of HIV.)

    @NewYorkGirl I knew I liked you for a reason. People in the health care field are often much wiser about health risks linked to sexual activity.

  287. DaddyGT says:

    @BeautifullySweeetSB
    Welcome to the blog. I’m sure the more experienced sugars here will be able to help.

    @DianaSBinOC
    First off, I must apologise most profusely and unreservedly if my post offended you. That was not my intention at all. Neither was it to add more drama to any already colourful blog.

    First you did say if there isn’t sex but the 2-3 date then you’re nexting her. So now it’s mutual attraction. O. K.

    Well, the two are not mutually exclusive. Sexual attraction is very important with anyone I date. And escalating to sex either happens fairly quickly, or typically never. When you consider that the typically date easily runs into 5 or more hours, then yes, if after a dozen or so hours there has not been some physical escalation, you probably know the attraction is not there. Describe it in bases if you must, but if we are not steadily moving along then I will probably conclude there are issues.

    Start with the touching. Move from pecks, holding hands, staring into eyes, kissing, etc till you get to the sack. There has to be some steady progress on this continuum though, or the relationship is a bust. Ties in with the wooing and flirting I alluded to above. I would hate to move from 6 dates of nothing, to sex. That would worry me deeply.

    Did I judge someone or did I say why I don’t do certain things?

    This is the comment with the greatest misunderstanding, and once again, I can only apologise for misunderstanding your comment. It’s just that I have heard the expression “Look at how she’s throwing herself at that man!” used far too much in an incredibly judgemental tone (tone which is impossible to discern in a blog comment I’ll admit). And it irks me terribly. I suppose I have never considered a woman chasing a man she is attracted to, to be ‘throwing herself at him’ in the same way I would never think that of a man chasing a woman he fancies.

    Were you interested in maybe telling Brandon Wade to rewrite the site for you since maybe he’s attracting to many “entitled” women here?

    Brandon’s marketing blurbs not withstanding, I think one thing I have learned from reading this blog, is that we are all attracted by different things to the sugar bowl. Indeed, this is not the only site, and for many (including Brandon), sugar dating is something they discovered before this site existed. I’ll therefore refrain from commenting on Brandon’s marketing strategy. I will say though, that we all have what attracts us, and indeed repels us, and I think a frank discussion of these preferences should continue to be encouraged here.

    I think men here are more so looking for sex since sex is in most of their profiles.

    Men are always looking for sex. Here, and everywhere else men and women meet. That said, if the comments by the SDs on the blog are anything to go by, they all want something a bit more than just sex, which explains the attraction to sugar, instead of the clinical sex one can get from an escort.

    While I think many men are not looking to fall in love with their SBs, I would postulate that a fair number actually ‘love’ care for them. We could debate semantics ad nauseum, but ultimately, I still think some emotional connection with the SB is important to the SDs. (At least the ones that post comments here, which is most of my sample size)

    Most sbs are not approaching the sugar bowl as they would in real life dating. For one the men are much older than guys they would typically date.

    I think I probably need to create a fake SB account so I can see the members of this site from the other side. I have no idea how old the typical SD here is. For the most part, (and I often do qualify my remarks in that regard), I can only speak for myself. And I do realise I do not match the typical SD profile (only 35 and single), but I don’t know how much I am off the averages.

    If you are an attractive man , why would someone ever need to fake being attracted to you?

    Attraction is more than skin deep. In both directions. There are many beautiful women I am not attracted to. Trying not to personalise this, but I do think I make a good catch. I keep fit, dress well, and do try to be affable in company. Still, I will not be to everyone’s taste, and I fully accept that.

    If a man is sweet, kind and generous then his looks will not be so much of a concern.

    There are many motivations for sugar dating. I’ve touched on mine before. I’m not really out to be a benefactor. However I realise that helping someone get better peace of mind from fewer financial worries significantly expands my dating pool. I prefer to use my $$ to buy a woman more free time. Time which I hope she will choose to spend with me. Again, this touches on me not being into fixed meeting schedules and the like. But I do have the luxury of being incredibly more flexible in my arrangements than say, a married man, or a man always on the road. But then again, I personally make very few distinctions between sugar, and IRL dating. Again, I realise that this is probably not typical behaviour.

    I wonder where entitlement ends and self worth begins.Or is it self esteem. … As long as the sbs are getting their allowance, they seem to just shrug it off or giggle through it. Being in the presence of such forced servitude is sickening.

    Kudos to you for sticking to your guns. I wish more SBs were like you. Ultimately though, as long as both SB and SD are happy with whatever arrangement, then I’m not one to judge. That said, I would not want to be with someone who was with me *just* for the $$. It is a fine balancing act, but eventually, you find a relationship model that works for you. Or you leave the sugar bowl entirely, but that’s another story.

    Pictures are important to me but I really would rather see someone on cam live.

    I think most SDs, or anyone who has attempted online dating would agree with you 100%. Where logistics are not an issue, nothing beats a quick meet-up for coffee so everyone can verify their bonafides.

    Regarding STDs
    I think the general gist, is that your sexual health habits are just as important, if not more so than just the number of partners you have. A bit like teenage pregnancy. All it takes is one slip, and you can catch something, or a few at once. And while you can try and tell teenagers not to have sex, they will. It is more important to teach them good sexual practice.

    Which ties in with the unfortunate truth that people are more likely to indulge in unsafe sex with people they perceive to be lower risk than professionals. The unfortunate side effect of this though, is that these people then end up being high risk because of these unsafe practices than the professionals.

    @DorkyGuy
    I agree with you!! A register of testing history would be really great. I think there’s a business there waiting to happen Dorky. Sign up via your doctor. Your test results (good or bad) get added to the site automatically. You choose to, and can generate access codes to your records to your potential sexual partners. Mmmmm. Might have to seriously look into setting up something like this.

    I remember the curriculum in my junior high health class said seeing escorts was high risk. have there been any additional studies on the topic?

    All sex is risky. There are many people getting the clap from their spouse after all.

    That said, statistics for infection rates amongst are notoriously difficult to compile. What muddies the water too, is the fact that the term ‘sex workers’ typically includes your ‘crack hos’ who will do ‘sex work’ for their next fix. Take these out, and the figures change dramatically.

    From one study … According to a study carried out in three cities in the Netherlands, the HIV prevalence among female sex workers who injected drugs was 13.8%, while it was 1.5% amongst other female sex workers.

    I am not in any way saying sex with professionals is safe. No more safe than sex with the downstairs neighbour though. I am however suggesting that when you factor in *actual* behaviour, you are probably more likely to get the clap from a GF or BF you were less than careful with, than from a pro who is typically more obsessive about, and less accommodating about using adequate protection.

    That said, kudos to everyone who takes safe sex seriously. Get tested. Get tested often. Insist your partner(s) do the same. Three cheers for safe sex too!!!

  288. @DianaSBinOC- I wanted to make it clear that my STD checks have always come back clean.
    @Stormypoo- I’m officially releasing you from the nickname of stormypoo! Your new tittle from me will be alot more personalized. Your official tittle shall be: jenniebug aka blog slut with excellent vaginal hygine’s royal subjuct.
    You’re permission has been granted.You are now my champion and white knigt. You shall protect me from all evil forces.

  289. NewYorkGirl says:

    DianaofOC.
    I do not think it is politically :) (scientifically) correct to say the older person the more SDT/partners he/she had.

    18 y old girl can sleep 1 time with her big love/crush class mate with no condom and he (handson young womanizer ) would give her 10 SDTs at once.

    (happened to a friend of mine, the funny thing was when she was crying realizing he gave her gonorrhea and some more… her mother saw her crying and thought it is so romantic ” first love, first
    romance, first tears….”. )

    And I did write here before about Hepatis C which is hundreds time more contagious than HIV and much less treatable – leads to cancer, liver transplant .
    (you know I work in hospital and see hundreds sick people everyday … I can go on and go on).

  290. NewYorkGirl says:

    STD.

    I went to coffee shop last weekend and the guy was new (3-4weeks) to S bowl and very open , kinf, and naive I would say.

    He separated with his wife recently and he told me for the last 3-4 weeks he slept 3 girls from this site. He feels like he has to try which on he likes the most so he would have an arrangement with her. I asked him if the girls were escort (he would not be able to tell escort from real girls/SB) and thought they are real normal girls.
    he told me first one invited him to her apt for the first meet up. he told he he wants to meet in restaurant first, so they did , and 2 date they went to her apt and has sex (1 time very quick ) she made him go back home fast after the sex.

    2 nd his date asked to come to his apt for the first meet up, but they meet in the restaurant and after went to the hotel right away.

    And so on….
    Then I came home I felt so sick…. Imagining all the flora exchange, all STD, I e mailed him links with articles about STD (he works in bank).

    I do understand guys use condoms BUT kissing and oral have to be safe too. !

    Pls google oral male cancer and HPV.

    Now much less girls have HPV related cervix cancers since there is a vaccine but guys were
    thought just as carriers of HPV, but actually they get cancer too.
    Anyway kissing/ mononucleosis Is not such a pleasant thing too.

    And actually this banker guy e mailed me a sincere ” thank you” for the info.

    And I was mean enough to e mail the British guy ($800 / month offer guy) the HPV links too.
    Coz I know he is not poor at all , and he likes me, and his offer was so low only coz he is going to spread sugar, have 2-3 SBs in the USA.

  291. Stormcat says:

    Jenniebug aka Blog Slut with Excellent Vaginal Hygine ~ Your Majesty, I most humbly request audience. The intent of my request is to offer my total loyalty as your champion and white knight against all evil forces. .I hope to eventially attain the position as first knight for all my heroic deeds. Your loyal servant, Stormcat the Great

  292. DianaSBinOC says:

    Ohh jennie wow both came back with herpes lol. I remember someone posted her awhile back about meeting a pot that wanted unprotected sex but refused an STD panel. If that’s not screaming “infected” I don’t know what else is.

    Ohh and I read the sb that took some herpes pills while sitting with a potSD for coffee.

  293. DianaSBinOC says:

    Wow I missed STD discussion?? I agree with high number of partners means higher chance of having some STI. So maybe the road to promiscuity is paved with STI’s. Also seems like many SD’s are looking for unprotected arrangements which really scares me about what they could be carrying. After all the older you are , the more likely you are to have had a significant number of partners compared to an sb that’s 10-40 years your junior.

    Maybe full body latex anyone??

  294. DianaSBinOC says:

    @DaddyGT– Also I’m not one to initiate contact. Wasn’t raised to throw myself at men.
    This is also so incredibly judgemental. How is saying “Hi SD, I think I might like you” throwing yourself at a man? Again, you can pigeon hole yourself in societal conventions, or you can take more responsibility for your life, and contact the guys you think might make a good SD for you.

    If your more passive approach works for you, then *great*, but please don’t judge women that prefer to have a more proactive role in their life direction.

    Commenting:
    First you did say if there isn’t sex but the 2-3 date then you’re nexting her. So now it’s mutual attraction. O. K.
    Secondly my comment on how I choose or don’t choose to start my sugar journey with someone isn’t judgmental. Did I judge someone or did I say why I don’t do certain things? Hasn’t there been enough drama on this board? Don’t start new drama by saying I’m judging how others contact SD’s. Plus wouldn’t it seem that I would be coming across “entitled” if I contacted an SD that didn’t contact me first?You asked why I don’t contact an SD and I responded. You are now judging me based on how I feel if “I” were to do something. Why would that have anything to do with how other do things?

    Great way to twist the way I do things to incite issues with other sbs.

    The site and I quote:
    Attractive, intelligent, ambitious and goal oriented. Sugar Babies are students, actresses, models or girls & guys next door. You know you DESERVE to date someone who will pamper you, empower you, and help you mentally, emotionally and financially.

    —-Were you interested in maybe telling Brandon Wade to rewrite the site for you since maybe he’s attracting to many “entitled” women here?

    —The love comment– I think men here are more so looking for sex since sex is in most of their profiles. You put that you don’t want someone that’s “clingy” yet wouldn’t saying ” I love you” surely send most SD’s running for the hills. Do you tell your sb’s you’re IN LOVE with them? Many of the married men are looking for sex on the side. They are not looking to fall in love with their sbs and many will cut the arrangement off if they do. I have read past blogs that note this quite extensively. Couples here are not looking for love either. Generally they are looking for someone to join in their sex. That’s it. NSA no strings attached. I have yet to come across a profile that says ” I’m looking for NSA love.”

    Most sbs are not approaching the sugar bowl as they would in real life dating. For one the men are much older than guys they would typically date. Secondly many are not even attracted to their Sd’s. Some Sd’s are well aware of this yet are in arrangements or P4P regardless. Many of the Sds are looking for youth and beauty. Youth and or beauty that they lost , youth that they can relive even through another person. You even discussed someone faking attraction on your “next” list. If you are an attractive man , why would someone ever need to fake being attracted to you? Sorry that happened to you btw. Personally I don’t know how men deal with that. If young women were really that attracted to much older men then this site wouldn’t be necessary. Nor would *sugar* or real money even be thought of. It would be just another date with a guy regardless of his age or his “rubenesque” physique. If a man is sweet, kind and generous then his looks will not be so much of a concern. Women generally focus on the bigger picture not the umm smaller part.:) lol

    I wonder where entitlement ends and self worth begins.Or is it self esteem. I have a few sugar daddy friends that even though they are generous with their money, they treat their sugar babies with such disrespect. As long as the sbs are getting their allowance, they seem to just shrug it off or giggle through it. Being in the presence of such forced servitude is sickening. One has wanted me as an sb but I honestly tell him that I can’t stand him. lol He appreciates my honesty but still tries to offer money to me as a way to change my mind. I refuse him each and every time only for him to have a temper tantrum. He’s almost 50 btw. Obsessive , cranky, domineering, controlling, possessive,childish and passive aggressive are things that are total turn offs but I see quite frequently in older men in and outside the sugar bowl.

    With Sugar Arrangements:
    I wouldn’t want to rush into a sugar arrangement right away. I’d like to take some time getting familiar wth an SD like real dating. Pictures are important to me but I really would rather see someone on cam live. That way I know exactly who I’ll be meeting if I decide to meet and vice versa. There are no issues with pictures being fake , old or being cropped to hide unsightly features. I really wish they had a cam feature here. Yes some would abuse it but others may enjoy knowing who they’re meeting ahead of time.

    @VA gent-Certainly that is possible but I like to go with a sure thing at the moment and she was there ,ready, willing and excited . I also did not expect the relationship to be as long lasting and successful as it has been . You see , thanks to all of you I have learned a lot about proper Sugar Dating and I would do it differently next time . I realize that I was coming from more of an escort approach to dating than a Sugar Relationship . Give the $$ ==have the sex. Actually it bugs me now that my SB was so easy. That is the only little fly in the ointment for me and her and it weighs on my mind re: trust issues . Of course –I was right there too and take responsibility for my Johnish behavior .

    Nice answer:) Trust issues can be a concern, because who’s to say some other Johnish SD isn’t doing P4P with her too. Some Sb’s are enjoying the benefits of several Sd’s because one may not be able to give enough of what she feels she needs. You’ve made it clear that you’re both happy with the current arrangement

    Perhaps I should regular date for a while and re-enter the sugar bowl around summer time. I’ve already hidden my profile for now. Surprisingly you end up meeting many sugar daddy types that don’t ever want to be called SD’s. The term alone seems to bother many that feel they are doing what men do rather than having society label them as such.

    Hey what ever happened to PunkRockerSD? His blog isn’t in the list. Why? I haven’t seen him post in a while.

    LASB – I was wondering what happened to my fellow insomniac! Blog gods are welcome to give my info to LASB:)

    Ohh someone said that fakedaddyblog list has some good guys on it. Some are repeat offenders so I’m now wondering what SD I could have missed out on:( Ohh well I may need to revisit that list in summer.

    Wishing everyone a sugary weekend:)

  295. Midwest SB says:

    Beach Girl – Kitten, that letter is riddled with jealousy. The coward who wrote that only wishes she were half the sexy woman you are. If you cannot see who viewed your profile, let us know. We may be able to back track and have her blocked. Take it as a compliment that you strike fear in her. Love ya sweets!

    Exciting day today! Went to the range and have now adopted the catch phrase “mean never looked so good” ! I may put my target up in the front window as the groupings are pretty intimidating to anyone who wants to tangle with me. :-) Seriously though, it does give one a stronger sense of security.

    Lots of catching up to do!

  296. DorkyGuy says:

    @SDinLA/jennieslut~ If this is a monarchy, I don’t really see why we can’t have both a king slut and a queen slut. that is unless one of you is prone to ordering beheadings.

    Glad to find myself in the company of others who are completely OCD about STDs. It would be cool if there were a website people could subscribe to that would store their testing history and allow them to post and/or share their test results… for us OCD types.

    As for escorts vs random hookups being riskier… I remember the curriculum in my junior high health class said seeing escorts was high risk. have there been any additional studies on the topic?

    @(m/M)eg~ post 1 or 2 today depending on time zones :-p

  297. BeautifullySweeetSB says:

    Hi everyone. I’d hate to change the subject on you guys but i really need help. I’m new to SA but I have read all of the blogs and i’ve learned how to search for the right SD and how to present myself as a respectable and a real SB. I’m having trouble finding a SD. I’m not sure if my race plays a role as to why I haven’t received any real messages or shown any interests. So far i have received only one interest and we started emailing each other but now it seems as though he has dropped off of the face of the earth. Maybe i wasn’t what he was looking for. I’m not really sure but I’m getting a bit discouraged. Is there any advice out there that may help me? If it helps you can look at my profile and let me know if i’ve done something wrong. My profile number is 893368. Any positive advice would be greatly appreciated.

  298. I am so glad that my potential partners have agreed to get tested for stds with me. Out of the last 5 potential sds that I’ve had, I couldn’t engage in sexual activity with two of them. Why? We got a comprehensive STD pannel. Both of them came back with herpes. I’m extremely happy that i figured this out before I decided to be intimate with them. Im not sure if they are still on this site or not. It was definitely an eye opener for me though.

  299. Hgirl says:

    @Daddy GT: Stranger sex just doesn’t entice me I guess… normally it takes me a platonic “get to know you’re not a crazy human being” date, then a few kissing/making out dates until finally I feel a rush enough to take their pants off. Sometimes it’s 3-4 dates and sometimes it’s 10 and sometimes it’s never because I realize more and more things make me find this person unattractive. I don’t really think it’s a “societal” thought thing for me considering I’ve had open and very casual relationships (mostly with friends I had known for a long time though). I think I just like to wait it out until I realize whether this is a human being I like or not.

    As far as the allowance thing goes I realized I don’t even really want one 😛 If he acknowledges it I guess maybe that’s okay but I’d prefer for him to be like a real sugar daddy and just show up with nice presents and not be sending me checks.

    I think I made a mistake before when I went on a few dates with a guy I really did genuinely like and when we discussed allowance it just literally seemed really low (he reoffered in the $3-4K range but I just didn’t want it after feeling bitter about it).

    I’ve been seeing someone new and it’s really wonderful and I’m much happier as it turns out with him spoiling me with presents and we’re taking a trip together next weekend! :) No sex yet though haha.

    Meanwhile the guy I left behind has offered to boost allowance to more (I’m guessing $4-5K ? idk) but I just don’t want to even go near it – I’m enjoy this so much more! I stopped replying to his e-mails after breaking it off a week ago and he still sent me a V-Day gift (lol) etc and just won’t stop asking what he can do to make it up. I think I should have just stayed with my instincts. It just seems so sad he tried to bargain me down and is now trying to buy me back. I think he probably thinks I’m holding out for a larger amount and will reply eventually – hilarious.

    —–

    On another note, as far as the monogamy thing goes; I’d say if it wasn’t agreed upon either party can do as they like. If it was agreed upon then I would say just bring it up and ask if you’re still going to be monogamous.

    Specifically, @Va Gent, anytime anyone ‘demands’ monogamy, threatens to leave over it, etc I just end up being like “okay bye” because it just signifies to me that they are looking for drama. If they approach me and ask what’s going on, if I’m looking to see other people – I’d be honest. Even if I wanted to only be with them and they approached me with an ultimatum of “leaving” (for any reason), I’d feel threatened (I don’t like being told “or else”) and would just say we’re better off not seeing each other if this is how they truly feel. I just don’t like dealing with angry people who demand to get their way. Let’s just set it straight: you don’t own me and I don’t have to do anything you say.

    On the other hand If they say they still are looking to be monogamous and reconfirm it after you bring it up but are obviously lying – I’d say lying is a whole different issue and is definitely not okay with me! Good-bye and wish you the best in whatever you’re trying to achieve with your approach towards people but I’m not playing your game.

  300. Official Blog Jester but no longer Blog Slut says:

    @DaddyGT I think you are creating somewhat of a straw man there.

    “Is a high-end escort who gets tested regularly and insists on the use of protection more likely to give you a STD/STI than the slutty neighbor who gets drunk 3 nights a week and brings home a different drunken hookup every night or the groupie who sleeps with every musician who plays at her local club?”

    A. I don’t see escorts (nor do most women.) Not a judgement thing, I’ve stated that I think it’s hypocritical to have laws against two consenting adults deciding to monetize their exchange.

    B. Because of A, it’s the NON escorts who are promiscuous that are a concern to my OCD induced fears of STDs/STIs.

    And people are often fond of decrying the reliability of statistics when the numbers make their actions/decisions look risky/bad.

    Regardless of what statistics say, if X% of people carry Herpes 2, Y% carry HPV, Z% carry chlamydia, you cannot tell me that sleeping with someone who in the last 2 years has been dating a lot and slept with 30 people is not a higher risk to you of being exposed to something than someone who’s had a total of 3 partners in their lifetime.

    Sure, there might be outliers, one of those 3 lifetime partners may have been a heroin addict who shared needles. But overall I think promiscuity IS a factor in STD/STI exposure/risk and anyone who claims otherwise is swimming in a river in Egypt.

    Like you, I find this topic to be of interest, but alas I must run. Hope everyone is having a great weekend.

    @Dorky Forgot to say, I am a HUGE Archer fan. In fact my female friends kind of say that if I decided to be a spy, there would be a disturbing number of similarities. 😉

  301. Stormcat says:

    DaddyGT, Jenniebug, all ~ As far as which date I kiss on, and which date I have sex on, and all that goes on into relationship development, I feel that one needs to remain flexible. It is more than just how I’m feeling. It’s also about how the other person is feeling. I am willing to be whatever the other person feels comfortable with as long as I also feel comfortable too. I am sensitive to the other person’s feelings and try to determine the other persons state of mind, circumstances, desires, and comfort so that I can act accordingly within my own. The beginning is very much game anyway so everything is about subtlety. If communications break down, it’s because the potential pair doesn’t get each other’s subtle messages, so the connection doesn’t occur and the arrangement was/and/is never to be. But if subtle communication is established between a potential couple and they understand each other and get along well on the verbal/social level as well then that is a great connection and the couple cheats themselves not to give it their best.

  302. DaddyGT says:

    @Official Blog Jester but no longer Blog Slut

    … it is valid to an extent because if you worry about STDs, then someone who has had a high # of partners is statistically more likely to be carrying something.

    Except statistics are a bitch and humans are notoriously bad at risk estimation and indeed management.

    Even I suffer irrationally from the STI fear, which goes a long way in explaining my continued abstinence whilst I am still here in South Africa.

    That said, many many years ago, I remember talking to some guys at a dinner party. They were in a band that was quite the big deal at the time, and had had a few relatively big tours. As will happen when you are with such people, the conversation turned to groupies, and sex on the road.

    Interestingly, the band guys all said that groupies were for the roadies, and for the media. Apparently, every big time band member knows to use hookers/escorts/call-girls/[insert euphemism of choice here] instead of banging groupies. They tend to be cleaner (they get tested a whole lot, and are extremely paranoid about use of protection), and you are far far less likely to have anyone turn up 9 months later claiming you fathered their child. Justin Beiber needs to take some lessons from this. With groupies, you really can’t be too sure.

    There was a huge discussion on this, but the overall consensus at the end, was that you were statistically more likely to end up with an STI from the nice neighbour from #6 downstairs, than you were from any self respecting call girl.

    Interesting discussion, and it did touch on statistics (which I like), sex (which I like), STIs (which I am concerned about), and how sometimes counter intuitive behaviour actually delivers the most optimum outcomes.

    Definitely ranks up there as one of the most interesting, and mind opening discussions I have ever had.

  303. @ official blog jester but no longer blog slut- Clean sluts are classy sluts.

  304. Official Blog Jester but no longer Blog Slut says:

    @all As you can read in my previous post, I have resigned my position as Official Blog Slut. Tina’s mad that she missed out on the chocolate orgy, NewYorkGirl doesn’t like chocolate and my PA bitches about having to try and find enough Beluga caviar to fill a fountain… it was all too much for me to take. jenniebug said she wished she could have the title, so I have passed it on to her.

    @jenniebug/Dorky Damn it, you beat me to the 1%/Occupy Meg jokes! Stop it! You’re not allowed to steal the Blog Jester’s thunder (or that of his Official Understudy Grasshopper.)

    @Tina Sorry for leaving you out of the chocolate discussion. You were at work and not posting and a Blog Slut has so many SBs to juggle.

    @Dorky Stormypoo whittles jewelry boxes? That’s impressive, but that must be very time intensive. In the time it takes him to whittle just one I can dazzle umpteen SBs with my saucy humour and witty bon mots. I lubricated your loins in 2 seconds flat. But I guess it’s all moot since I abdicated my Blog Slut Crown in any case.

    @SouthernCharmSB Wait, you want in on the chocolate pool too? Ugh. Is there any way to un-abdicate a crown? Can a NON Blog Slut host chocolate pool parties for a bevu of blog beauties? I have all this caviar sitting around now too. I must say that naked sushi and chocolate covered SB for dessert (avec cherries and whipper cream per Guru’s reminder) sounds quite appetizing.

    @NewYorkGirl As a longtime resident of Southern California I always assume “OC” means Orange County and not Ocean City of something else. I like the shoes, but I have much more of a nape of the neck fetish than a foot fetish.

    @meg/Meg Dorky, I think the whole lower case/upper case M thing is a sly attempt to get around your 2.5 post daily limit contest. Methinks she will claim that lowercase meg and uppercase Meg are different posters, just as my various household guests are.

    My therapist enjoys our sessions so much that he has said he would see me for nothing (doesn’t stop him billing me every month though.) And yes, I have displayed a remarkable propensity for picking women of a certain dispensation. The White Knight syndrome tat many SDs fall prey to has been discussed here often. My issues with women have tended to come from seeing my mentally ill mother be unhappy and feeling like I could not fix her issues so that she could be happy. I think at least I’ve mitigated that proclivity to want to fix things somewhat by choosing someone in her early 20s to attempt to settle down with rather than a crazy drama queen. The issues that come with youth can self resolve over time, “crazy” not so much.

    re: your “virgin” SD, I would not have an issue with a first timer OR someone who was “totally BFF-in-love-with-his-wife.” But both? has he tried to work out the post-kid lack of sex thing with her or a counselor? If not, I wouldn’t want to go there.

    @SouthernCharmSB again, so what happens now that I’ve found you, is this where the blog violins play and we run in hazy slow motion towards each other across a field of flowers?

    @Grasshopper, I had a time limit of a sort. My long term SBs all knew that the absolute end date of our arrangement was their graduation. My main reason for being a SD was to avoid the expectations of happily ever after/marriage etc., so with coed SBs, their graduation seemed like a natural denouement.

    Now that I’ve given up being the Blog Slut, does that mean I can’t be your Man Slut either? Maybe I should have waited until after I saw the golf ball and garden hose trick to abdicate. I hate golf, boring with a capital B, so anything that can make me smile when I am forced to get out on the course for business would be a welcome thing. “You’re usually so grumpy when we hit the links SDinLA, why are you smiling every time you pick up your ball?”

    @ContentSB I had one SB who was at school across the country, and as you say, the web cam was definitely our friend. Not a way to replace spending time together, but a way to mitigate the distance until next you can meet.

    @Stormypoo you should publish a volume of your SD poetry. Maybe years from now people will look back on you as a Rumi or Neruda or the early 21st Century, “A man whose prose is infused with the anguish of being a square love-seeking peg in a round Sd/SB hole world.” 😉

    Between the poetry and the woodworking, you’ve got me in the romance sweepstakes, that’s for sure, but I tend to save the romance for IRL and was just here shamelessly trying to enlarge the blog entourage.

    @DaddyGT I have spent probably way too much time worrying about the issues of potential partners’ sexual pasts. But that’s due to my OCD tendencies. If I could do an “Instant STD test”, I’d have zero issues with how many men a women had slept with before me, and of course someone who is experienced and uninhibited is never a bad thing. A lot of my female friends have expressed similar concerns, and it is valid to an extent because if you worry about STDs, then someone who has had a high # of partners is statistically more likely to be carrying something. Especially with so many things that are asymptomatic yet can cause long term health issues like HPV or chlamydia that are quite prevalent.

    @jenniebug Ironic that the former and current Blog Sluts are both kind of OCD about STDs and such 😉

  305. I don’t really think about keeping the numbers low. I do think about keeping my vag clean though. I guess for me, not having sex withought an STD/STI check is a big thing. I like to go down and be gone down on. A condom can only protect you in so many ways.

  306. DaddyGT says:

    God bless you all! God save the King!

    Shouldn’t that be The King is Dead. Long live the Queen! ?
    en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_King_is_dead._Long_live_the_King.

    I really do need to get out more. :-)

  307. DaddyGT says:

    @jenniebug

    First off, thank you for responding. I think you meant to add a NOT to this phrase … “I’m knocking people that would go there on the first date. Personally, its whatever floats your boat!

    Your point though, raises a whole other discussion point. I don’t know how I turned out the way I did, but I think I once I hit university, I started to buck societal conventions.

    He told me that if a girl was willing to sleep with him on a first date, then he would wonder how many other guys she was willing to sleep with on the first date.

    This is an interesting point. I don’t think I have ever thought that about a GF or indeed a SB. I’d actually have grave reservations about getting into a relationship with someone who actually thought that way. Same way I have never been interested in, or bothered by how many lovers a GF had before me. Totally irrelevant to *us* is my take. My one prayer is that they were fulfilling. Our current selves are the product of all our past experiences, no?

    I am reminded of a conversation with some female friends a while ago who pointed out that a lot women tend to go back to their ex-boyfriends for sex, just so they can keep their numbers low! Explained the booty calls from ex-lovers :-) And why every survey on the number of partners people have had is at pains to explain that women tend to adjust their ‘number’ downwards, whilst men tend to exaggerate in the opposite direction.

    I recall too a conversation with a bunch of guys. One of them mentioned that he was troubled by what he imagined his GF’s past, because she was so amazing in bed. His wonder was, “where did she learn all that?” Personally, I’d rather have an experienced lover who knows her way around the boudoir, than the opposite.

    I think it is totally unfair how society judges randy males and randy females so differently. Even in 2012. You see it too in comments about the sugar bowl in the popular press. The SBs typically get a harsher treatment than the SDs.

    As an aside, I think this is why older women make better great lovers. In my experience they have fewer hang-ups on these societal norms, as they finally figured out, as one said to me “The only person responsible for your orgasms and sexual fulfilment, is you!” Three cheers for the older and wiser women!!!

  308. Official Blog Jester but no longer Blog Slut says:

    It is with deep sadness that I post my abdication speech from my position as Blog Slut. I will endeavour to continue to entertain you as Blog Jester….

    At long last I am able to say a few words of my own. I have never wanted to withhold anything, but until now it has not been constitutionally possible for me to speak.

    A few hours ago I discharged my last duty as Official Blog Slut, and now that I have been succeeded by jenniebug, my first words must be to declare my allegiance to her. This I do with all my heart.

    You may not know the reasons which have impelled me to renounce my title. But I want you to understand that in making up my mind I did not forget the blog or the site, which, as Official Jester ad lately as Official Slut, I have tried for many years to serve.

    But you must believe me when I tell you that I have found it impossible to carry the heavy burden of responsibility and to discharge my duties as Blog Slut as I would wish to do when there are so many blog crushes to flirt with.

    And I want you to know that the decision I have made has been mine and mine alone. This was a thing I had to judge entirely for myself. The other people most nearly concerned have tried up to the last to persuade me to take a different course.

    I have made this, the most serious decision of my life, upon only the single thought of what would, in the end, be best for the blog.

    Yadda yadda yadda

    And now, we all have a new Blog Slut. I wish her and you, her people, happiness and prosperity with all of my heart. God bless you all! God save the King!

    SD “Edward VIII” inLA

  309. jenniebug says:

    @ Daddy GT – Im only saying that i personally don’t hook up on first dates. The way that my dad explained it was extremely simple. He told me that if a girl was willing to sleep with him on a first date, then he would wonder how many other guys she was willing to sleep with on the first date. I’m knocking people that would go there on the first date. Personally, its whatever floats your boat!
    As far as sex before marriage goes… I would rather know if the guy is good in the sack before I make the choice to spend the rest of my life with him. I tottaly couldn’t imagine being stuck with someone who is bad in bed.

  310. Va Gentleman says:

    @ SouthernCharm

    Thanks for sharing your arrangement and POV . I relate everyone’s experiences to my own and am emotionally involved with my SB enough to desire monogamy. If I was not so involved then I could more easily have multiple partners and understand her doing the same . For those who are deeming my desire for monogamy as hypocritical being married —I am only sexually active with my SB and assure her of this . Also , my SB desires a frequency of twice/week and I am able to fulfil this–sometimes three times .

    @ SDGuru

    ” As a married man, how are you able to pull that off ”

    Verrrry carefully lol Actually I have a very liberal travel schedule that has been in place for years so my pattern has not changed .

    @Buttahfly-BB

    ” SERIOUS question: does breaking your marriage vows (for the first time) affect the quality of your marriage? I’m not talking about people in bad or already sorta distanced marriages.”

    Yes Big Momma Tia it does .

    There is trouble in paradise . Most men are not hopeless philanderers who just can’t help themselves in spite of a good marriage. Even with a “good” marriage (like your pot SD ) things are not working at home for him to the point of seeking love and affection elsewhere . Once you go down that path –like anything else new and emotionally scary –it’s hard to go back once you experience success . I’m sure you had some misgivings when you made the first move towards escorting and the reality kicks in . After a while there is a new reality and it is just the way it is . For me who was faithful for 20 years the first move towards the “dark side” was fraught with misgivings ,shame ,and regret . I know it is not the right thing to do ,but I am so in love with the lifestyle and my SB that I don’t want to go back . I love the emotional involvement that I have with my SB but it is harder to rethink my marriage vows with someone else in the picture . I would recommend married guys whose wives are not satisfying the sexual side of their contract to see escorts rather than risk emotional attatchment even though having a SB is so much more gratifying on so many levels .

  311. Va Gentleman says:

    @LASB

    ” I can afford to be choosy. I also don’t put pressure on him to hand over a bunch of cash. ”

    Nice ! That sounds more like the evolution of an IRL-with a twist

    @Jessie

    ” As long as we’re both just getting to know each other, without any pressure for sex, an allowance, gifts, etc. is not expected.”

    OK – – I can do that ! BTW , I do not EXPECT sex at all unless the sugar bowl is activated. However if you are really hot and I like you I will be hopeful . I guess that is ultimately my point . If you don’t ask for Sugar then the relationship will progress organically. IF you ask for Sugar then Sex will be part of the equation .

    @MidwestSB

    ” If your SB had asked you to wait a few dates, would you have done so? ” Absolutely ! If I liked her and she was interested in getting to know me a little better first as long as she did not expect more than the cost of our date .

    ” Is there a chance you could have missed other great ladies because you want to accelerate the intimacy to be certain you want to be with that person? ”

    Certainly that is possible but I like to go with a sure thing at the moment and she was there ,ready, willing and excited . I also did not expect the relationship to be as long lasting and successful as it has been . You see , thanks to all of you I have learned a lot about proper Sugar Dating and I would do it differently next time . I realize that I was coming from more of an escort approach to dating than a Sugar Relationship . Give the $$ ==have the sex. Actually it bugs me now that my SB was so easy. That is the only little fly in the ointment for me and her and it weighs on my mind re: trust issues . Of course –I was right there too and take responsibility for my Johnish behavior .

  312. Beach_Girl says:

    Hello Sugars!

    Babydoll~ I love that what your dad said to you and it’s so true. you are only in competition with YOU! I know I compete with myself all the time… 😀
    I was actually really tired last night, after laughing out loud, I wanted to answer but couldn’t on email… So I posted it here lol… that person reads the blog so… they got their answer!
    It’s really nice that all you UK SB hang out, I wish I had a circle of SBs here!

    EnglishRose~ Don’t get mad, I actually have a pretty good idea who it is. Jealousy and hatred just grow when you feed it.

    DaddyGT~ I couldn’t reply, so since they are on the blog, maybe just reading. I just wanted to answer… I think it’s funny actually!

    PhoneGuy~ Thanks

    NYGirl~ I think I know who it is… No worries. I can’t tell you is the person is actually on the blog, maybe as someone else, but I have a pretty good idea who it is.

    Well i’m off, have a great day everyone.

  313. NewYorkGirl says:

    Beach girl.
    Who can possible write this? and she says she knows Guru personally ? May be then he will tell you who she is.

    BG. Your posts here were always nice. I’ve never felt u tried to “steal”any SDs here. :)

    I know u asked me where I am originally from … I was born and grew up 14 hours airplane fly away from you. :). In Asia on Pacific Ocean, I do not speak French.

    I just wish we can know who this person is … If she still post here.. that would be so hypocritical (to write nice posts here and really hate SBs here).

  314. SouthernGent2 says:

    @SouthernCharmSB – I have to come out to California to see one client sometime in the next couple of months. In front of all these blog witnesses, I am cordially extending a “friend dinner” invitation to you if we are somewhat close enough in proximity to meet. I will definitely show you what real southern charm is all about 😉

  315. Stormcat says:

    Jenniebug, Babydoll ~ Well I feel like shareing again. Just meloncholy today, I guess. I’m reluctant to share this one because it has some lines that I stole from another poem. I’d give a cite but I can’t seem to find it again so I don’t even know who I stole it from. Anyway forgive me for that.

    HOW IT POSSABLY ADDS UP
    By: Stormcat

    Hmmm, lets see . . .

    There were the times we swam naked in the river.
    And the time we smoked pot and made love on the dining room floor,
    And the many times when I didn’t have a clue what anyone was talking about . So I just sat quietly and listened to the sound.

    There was Spring Valley that I quit because you were going to NY.

    There was the time when my wife called me while I was out of town
    And told me that she had a lover
    And I felt strangely sad because I didn’t care.

    There was the morning I was born,
    And the year I lost everything,
    And the night I was the winner of the prize
    For which the audience applauded, and the newspapers reported

    And all the times my father commented and made me ashamed of my successes

    Oh and there was the heavy work that over and over always got destroyed by the unforgiving wildness of the wilderness.

    Then there was the you that I met,
    Long before all the changes,
    The face and voice I can’t forget,
    And the memory of which
    Is like a jail I’m trapped inside,
    Or maybe the memory is something I just use to hold my real life at a distance.

    It seems that I read in a poem . . .
    That happiness is
    A wild red flower plucked from a river of lava
    And held aloft on a tightrope strung between two scrawny trees
    Above a canyon
    in a manic-depressive windstorm.

    Don’t drop it, don’t drop it, don’t drop it,

    Because when you do, you will keep looking for it
    Everywhere, for years,
    While right behind you,
    The footprints you are leaving
    Look like the notes of a crazy song.

  316. PhoneGuy says:

    @BeachGirl,
    So sorry to hear about some idiot bothering you.

    @Meg, has your pot talked to his wife about the lack of sex being a problem?
    Has he let her know this is a deal breaker? A person in a loving relationship who is
    not taking care of their partners basic needs is courting disaster. In my mind he/she can
    either take care of their partner of agree to let their partner look for it outside of the relationship.

    So in short, Meg, I would say you didn’t make any vows with this guy’s wife. I would offer him
    advice to talk to his wife. I’ll let the married SDs say whether stepping out for the first time is
    going to hurt the relationship. My guess is “probably”, unless the person can compartmentalize.
    On the other hand I would guess the relationship is probably doomed without sex.
    Good luck.

  317. DaddyGT says:

    @EnglishRose
    How’s the hangover though?

    They say you are very, *ahem* ‘handy’, so my money is definitely on you in any slapping that will be going on with the shittier members of this discussion group. :-)

  318. EnglishRose says:

    @DaddyGT & Dorky
    Haha, sorry no in vino veritas this time round! And you’re both a terribly bad influence.

    @BeachGirl
    I got so mad reading that email!!! I want to slap whoever sent that to you! How unbelievably rude and nasty. You just keep being your lovely self & us sane bloggers will always welcome your comments.

  319. DaddyGT says:

    @Meg
    Thank you for sharing. I like your “less physically attractive & more awkward you are” comment. I think many gents take Sugar to mean that they do not have to make an effort on their looks, and still woo the woman!! And no, throwing money at the problem is not wooing.

    @Lydia Bennett
    How are you doing down under?? :-) I have to agree with you on older women having less hangups about sex. If they want it, they will do it, societal norms be damned. That said, if they don’t want it with you, you are unlikely to ever get there. In my experience, older women are far less likely to use sex as a bargaining chip. Just something they will do when they want to, with someone they enjoy it with.

    @jenniebug
    I don’t hook up on first dates. My daddy always told me that its not a classy thing to do. That is all!

    See, now that there is where the problem begins. Sorry, but there is no optimum number of dates that will make a woman classy. As far as I am concerned, you (both women and men) should jump into the sack when you want to, whether that is on date #1, or on the second night of your honeymoon.

    But then again, I totally respect and take my hat off to women who are so in touch with their sexuality that they do not apologise for it, and attempt to live up to some societal norm that is totally made up.

    And before you flame me for being crass, let us not forget that it was not *that* long ago when pre marital sex was considered so bad it was a mortal sin. So, ultimately, it is about *your* comfort levels, and not some arbitrary line beyond which you are not classy. Heh!!

    On a related note, some of my longest, and deepest relationships have been with women that I had sex with on date #1.

    And since we are always honest on this blog, here’s a confession. And many men will relate and have similar stories of their own. In in my younger days, I remember one woman who was so hung up about it, that getting her into bed became the challenge. It took just over a dozen dates, but by that point I was not interested in her. By then I was just interested in seeing whether and how long it would take to get her into bed. When I eventually did (twice, just to be sure), I lost interest, and walked away. Was it a good thing to do? Undoubtedly, no. But at the time, it seemed like a good idea. Certainly not my finest behaviour, but hey, we learn from the stupid things we did in our past, no?

    @DianaSBinOC
    You seem to like ” NEXT” alot. So she must “put out” by date 2 or 3 or you’re nexting her.

    No!! She must not “put out” by any date number. That said, you can tell whether there is mutual physical attraction, and if this is not there by date 2 or 3, then things are unlikely to change much. Hence the ‘NEXT’. Just screening relentlessly.

    Also I’m not one to initiate contact. Wasn’t raised to throw myself at men.
    This is also so incredibly judgemental. How is saying “Hi SD, I think I might like you” throwing yourself at a man? Again, you can pigeon hole yourself in societal conventions, or you can take more responsibility for your life, and contact the guys you think might make a good SD for you.

    If your more passive approach works for you, then *great*, but please don’t judge women that prefer to have a more proactive role in their life direction.

    Cute but who’s here looking for love?
    I for one, certainly am. I have pointed out a few times, that I make no distinction at all between the sugar bowl and IRL dating. I would not complain if I met the future Mrs GT via the sugar bowl.

    To an extent, I think everyone in the bowl, (including the married SBs and SDs) is looking for some variant of love, or affection or a connection or chemistry, or call-it-what-you-will. To a large extent, this is one of the chief distinctions between the sugar bowl and, well, escorting.

    (I still think ‘love’ is the most abuse word in the English lexicon … ask 100 people what love is, and you will get 200 different answers) But yeah, a lot of us in the sugar bowl are closest romantic looking for love.

    Apologies for the headache inducing list! Mea culpa. I should get writing lessons from some of the more creative sugars here.

    @DorkyGuy and @Guru
    If I had kids, I would run with the Christmas spirit thing. But if kids get to a certain age and you still have not told them that Santa does not exist, then there’s a problem.

    And if by a certain age, they still take presents for granted so much that not getting a present leads to a meltdown in your relationship, then again, there is a problem.

    My point, as Midwest put it better, is that a relationship with a person who is unable to consider other aspects of the relationship, (generosity, and thoughtfulness) but goes mental over one random day like Feb 14, is not going to last. At all.

    @Meg
    Your soft spot in my heart remains secure! :-)

    I have not yet ever used escorts, but a bit like you, I am surprised by the judgemental tone used in talking about them by many in the sugar bowl. Glass houses. Stones. And so forth, you would thought/

    My personal take, is that as long as both parties are happy, where’s the problem. I really enjoyed reading the original “Belle de Jour” book after all. And I love the way a lot of female journalists were convinced that it was man writing it, till she was then outed, and it turns out that yes, she was a mentally stable, fully functioning, PhD. Heh!! Escorts need love too :-)

    @BeachGirl
    Wow. Sorry that you got to receive an email that retarded. Never cool, but kudos to you for being a total sport about it, and not letting it bother you.

  320. babydoll says:

    @beachgirl~ hahahaa!!!! what the hell??? whoever wrote this obviously is one of us bloggers,i am quite sure that with Dorky’s help or someone from the techy Sd’s can help pin it down from.

    hahahaaaa!!!! really sorry i found it too funny when i read it,obviously jealousy is ripe around here but what i dont understand is why do they even bother?i know that in this blog theres only a few London Sb’s but we actually adore each other and dont see anyone as competition! if anything, we are happy to help and reach out to each others worries not only with Sd’s but with personal stuff as well.i am quite amazed how some of the american Sb’s can get too personal and jealous about a lot of things!

    my father always said to me and my sisters to help us along the way when we are growing up,i still keep it to heart to remember my values when i feel down or upset or feeling a bit low …

    “you and your sisters will always be young and beautiful to me and mom, and remember you are in competion with anybody else except YOU ”
    “whatever job,relationship etc you will decide to embark on in future make sure you give 100% then no one can say that you are lacking of anything” 😉
    it is pure jealousy and hatred and that only shows that she is the ugly one!!! so the best way is to laugh about it and move on from it.

    i always thought of the Sd’s here as really lovely and i love blogging here as to get opinions and say mine too, i can be passive and i can be a bit touuchy feely (maybe) but it doesnt mean i am trying to get anyones Sd on this blog or anything like that specially if he is laready in another relationship with a fellow Sb blogger.and for someone to assume that one of the SB’S here is aiming to steal some one else’s Sd is a bit cheap and uncalled for and unfair.

    @grasshopper~the time span of a Sugar relationship between me and my Sd did not apply to the 3,4-6 months rule in the Sugarbowl and i was actually quite surprised when i read it here first that not a lot of arrangements go past that time span.what we did agree was,we commit each other to 6 months and then review our arrangement if we still want to carry on or move on…felt quite nervous and neurotic before the day i couldnt sleep! lol but yeah,we both wanted to carry on and see how much further we can go,but i dont think theres anything wrong with being in a short term or long term arrangement but it goes down to every inividual on what they are actually looking for and what they can accept. in my case, because we are both new (me and my Sd) in the Sugarbowl, we learn and teach each other along the way, and i let him decide mostly re our relationship,after all he is the man.but i can have strong opinions as well.

    To all~it is strange that what i was looking for IRL,i found it in the Sugarbown with my currrent Sd, i dont know if we completely broke the rules but we broke some,the other site adviced us that we must not let an Sd go to our homes for security reasons, it is all about going out and having fun and being generally looked after by our Sd’s and we shouldnt pressure our Sd’s to take us to their homes/mansions etc. as well, hence,we stay at hotels before all the time,until we had the trust bit sealed i took him to my place!!!! but i never ask him about me going to his place as i dont feel ‘entitled’ as i know from the beginning its not what he wanted and i would not dream of pressuring him to do that anyway as i am a kept woman even if his ‘wife’ doesnt live with him anymore.

    but heck, if i got only four months with my current Sd i would be very thankful and happy for having to expirience having an Sd like him even for a short period of time :)

    I read about one of our Sd’s how he feels a lot of love for his Sb and the simple things they do together when they meet and really enjoy it.
    it made me smile as it is very similar to what i have with my Sd.
    to all the Sugarbabies still waiting and looking for the right one,i am sure you will get that in time.
    myabe try to be a bit more patient and a bit more realistic on things that you put on the profile as to not scare away pot Sd’s as i feel maybe it is one factor that makes them think more before making contact.

    lastly, iapologise for being lazy to proof read my blogs and not using the right punctuation or capitalization as i am ….. lazyyyyyyyyyyyyyy. but i know you guys get my drift eh? happy saturday to all!!!! as for me i am waiting to get pampered and looked after this weekend to conclude my Valentine week xxxx

    kisses and cuddles all the way from moggy London xxxx

  321. SouthernCharmSB says:

    @Grasshopper – For me, sugar dating provides a much-needed escape from the never-ending projects and essays I have to do for school and the hours I devote to my job. It can be very overwhelming at times. I do not depend on sugar to support myself, but it is amazing to spend time with an SD that I genuinely like and admire and who is able and happy to pamper me just as much as I look forward to pampering him. My current SD provides me with a generous allowance that falls well within the realms of the allowance range I posted on my profile. In terms of how this arrangement is beneficial to me – it goes back to the concept of quantity vs. quality. My SD is a quality SD that is a great friend, confidant, mentor and lover so even though we are not able to see each other often (the quantity factor), he was upfront about his availability from the beginning and I was honest about my needs (hence the non-exclusive part of the arrangement). He is a handsome gentleman that makes me feel happy, special and appreciated. In turn, I provide the same kind of respect and appreciation to him. The time that we do spend together, there is zero drama and I can assure you that we exceed each other’s expectations…and not just in the bedroom 😉 Isn’t that what sugar is about?

  322. Grasshopper says:

    Off to bed…ttyl, sugar pies!

  323. Grasshopper says:

    @ContentSB…thank you for your response :) Yeah..that’s the allowance amount I was figuring it should be around….well..that’s what I would expect, anyway 😉

  324. Grasshopper says:

    @Grasshopper’sManSlut…..Let’s get this show on the road, then! I’m looking forward to my audition 😉 …and once I’m done..you’ll never play golf again without having a giant grin plastered across your face ;P

  325. ContentSB says:

    @Beach — What an awful email!! :( I think you’re one of the LEAST controversial women who posts on this blog! You seem very genuine and I’m shocked someone would say such horrible things to you. I definitely hope you keep posting! That should *really* get the anonymous troll going 😉

    @Grasshopper — I know your question wasn’t directed at me, but I had a similar arrangement with my former SD. We were long-distance, so only saw each other once/month. Like @SouthernCharm, I really didn’t need his financial assistance because I make enough on my own to be self-sufficient (that’s the only way I would ever become involved with a SD…I never want to be financially dependent on someone other than myself). My allowance was around 1k/month, and it was just “fun” money…most of it actually went into savings. It was beneficial for me because I felt like I had extra stability *just in case* and gained a supporter/friend who believed in me.

    As far as our physical needs being met…yeah…once a month doesn’t really cut it…but there are fun/creative ways to maintain that sort of bond despite distance. It does require some “solo” work though lol! But that’s what’s great about NSA…if that need becomes too much to handle, you have permission to go out and find someone else to take care of it :)

  326. jenniebug says:

    @ Official Blog Jester and Slut- That is the coolest name! But, I’m a little sad… I wanted to be the blog slut! Can we work something out to share that tittle?

  327. Grasshopper says:

    @everyone….When I barely entered the sugar bowl, I was told by a SD that there are arrangements with time limits (i.e. 6 months, 12 months, etc…) and that after the alloted time has passed, the SBs & SDs part OR re-negotiate their arrangement. Yet, with the wide variety of subjects discussed here on this blog, I haven’t once read anyone saying that when they discuss their relationships. So, my question is if what I described a common practice in the sugar world, or does it lean more towards something that is rarely done?

  328. Official Blog Jester and Slut says:

    Just got back and checked the blog, no time for detailed response but:

    @Beach Don’t sweat it. Based on the writing style, use of profanity and your being called a “c**t”, I think you got an email from our last blog troll aka SD4MEISBETTER/SFSugar/LACollegeBaby etc.

    If you got the email through the site, she must have gotten your profile # from your link here on the blog. If it was an offline email, maybe she exchanged email with some of you SBs when she was posting here last year as LACollegeBaby.

    @Grasshopper Where you been girl? You never responded to my offer to be my opening stand-up act. I’m dying to see this golf ball and hose trick.

    More later…

  329. Grasshopper says:

    @SouthernCharmSB…..Was wondering how much allowance you get from your SD since it is only one day a month that you can physically be with him? Also, unless it is an incredible amount of allowance, I don’t really see the point..because I wouldn’t even be having my physical needs met with only once a month. I guess I am curious as to how this relationship is possibly beneficial to you, since you say you don’t really need your SD to pay for anything. I am perplexed and the more I learn about other sugar relationships the better equipped I will be if and when I face a similar situation.

  330. Anna Molly says:

    Hey BG! I don’t understand why someone would write that? You’re a gem!

  331. Beach_Girl says:

    @ Dorky~ lol, they wanted to be anonymous.. it’s ok,
    If any SDs need a snagging tomorrow, mail me at my profile lmfao 😀
    ok, good night sugars… I have to work in the morning!

  332. DorkyGuy says:

    @meg, I am throwing the bet on this one…

    @the coward who wrote that… First, have the guts to identify yourself. Second, I have had the pleasure of getting to know Beach_Girl some, and she is an absolute catch.

  333. Beach_Girl says:

    @ JennieBug~ Well, it’s nice to know that I irritate someone lol… I don’t post that often, but no, I won’t leave coz of an email!!! the blog beauties SBs and sds mail me on my sugar email. So it’s someone that has that email, I’ll figure it out! 😀

  334. jenniebug says:

    @BeachGirl- Omg, I’m so sorry to hear that someone would say something like that to you. It saddens me that someone would be filled with such petty words. I didn’t think that sb’s were allowed to contact each other on this site. Are they? Beach_Girl, I like your posts. I hope it doesn’t stop you from posting in the blogs.
    Big hugs
    ~Jenniebug

  335. SouthernCharmSB says:

    @SDinLA – You found me!! LOL! 😉

  336. jenniebug says:

    @Dorky Guy- I think you have to start by calling her agent. Then you might have to go through a 15 step rejection process to be able to protest. Lol. Om sure if there’s not one, shell think of one. She seems like a creative girl. I’m super excited to see the post on that.

    So, I’m watching food network… They have this show called “Diners, DriveIn’s & Dives.” Some of the places on this show look cool! Now, I’m concidering a road trip with a SD. just to check out these places. Of course, we would need to look up every gym along the way to work off the unwanted pounds.

  337. meg says:

    @ Jennibug/Dorky “only 1℅ ? I’m surprised your clants haven’t been standing outside of your place of employment with picket signs that say ‘we represent the 99%.’” ~jennibug LOL! “Brilliant! Where do we go to join the “Occupy Meg” protests?”

    Hahaha haha…sorry…had to express laughter in a meaningful way because I really did laugh. [Between the black-zone of critical-filter-turned-off-to-only-see-the-good & white-zone of turned-way-up-to-high-surveillance-mode lives sugar dating, no?]

    @ SDGuru/SDinLA : “instead of a book, which no doubt would be a best seller, maybe a read-only archive of moderated blog drama on the site would get the thumbs up from Brandon.” Please please do!!!

    @ SDinLA: “I’ve mentioned my first train-wreck of an attempt at having a SB before, including the bonfire she started with the clothing and car I had provided. Another early attempt cost me a semester of medical school tuition for one “encounter.” Live and learn. I think if I figured out a “per encounter” price for my marriage it still came out more than a semester of tuition.”

    Lol…you really do know how to pick-em, don’t you? Do these count as “spending [money] idly” or laying “it out in a purchase of repentance.” But seriously, now with your dysfunctional-wealthy-family-&-disfunction-&-wealthy-ex-wife-saga…wow. I want more. I’m totally fascinated. So…if you ever want unqualified crack-pot-psychoanalysis services, please touch base. Lol…I’d love to become a female Freud. Freud-ette? Freud-ala-femme? [jk jk…although I do think the sugar-dating market is an untapped psych-literature-goldmine…lol…I think I picked the wrong major :-/ ]

    Re.: p4p advantages/disadvantages… you know what, screw it. I give up on these debates, so I’ve outsourced sugar-search to a business & management consultant. I’ve copied & pasted the form-email my management team has drafted below. Apparently, my current business practice is not so solid :-/ :

    This post is to notify you that the “SB” formerly known as “Meg” (henceforth “buttahfly-BB”) is now under new management.

    All communications with “Buttahfly-BB” will subsequently be handled by myself, Lola “big-momma-pimp” Tia.

    In order to ensure “SDs” a standard quality of warmth, affection, chemistry & kink (aka. sugah) & streamline sugah provision, “Buttahfly-BB” will no longer be offering the same sugah-exchanges as you may have come to expect:

    Beginning Febuary 22, “Buttahfly-BB” will no longer engage in p4p interactions after in-person meetings with SDs she finds to be “incredibly sexy” “funny” or “attractive.”

    Henceforth “potential SDs” will have the opportunity to apply for a “trainee position” (entitled “client.”) “Clients” will be “test-driven” by “Buttahfly-BB” at the going “courtesan rates” for a duration of at least two months.

    “Clients” who demonstrate “chemistry,” “affection,” “trustworthiness,” “reliability” and “more than John-ness” throughout the “trainee period” will have the option to apply for “SD-status” and “a re-structure of the sugah exchange” via our prestigious review board.

    Yours Cordially,

    Lola “big-momma-pimp” Tia

    [ 😉 ]

    re p4p [2] : Okay, so I’ve reflected on why I even care. I don’t really care about the role-differentiating & ‘eww…escorts are diseased, etc. etc. etc.’ that goes on on this blog. Whatever. To each his-or-her own.

    The issue I have is that sugah-land struts on with p4p stuff in this la-la-bliss cloud while the “Mackinnon-Nicholas Kristoff-broke-police-forces-Christian-right” coalition is engaging in this bizarre war against p4time (ala escorting). I think it’s really stupid to waste $2,000 on arresting non-trafficked independent escorts in rando-sting operations. I also find the war against craigslist & backpage incredibly annoying. I think it’s really annoying that guys are targeted in stings. It’s also really annoying that my school now has a student organization that’s basically called ‘stopping sexual harm’ devoted to indoctrinating students about how AWFUL prostitution really is. [can we focus on real issues like rape & domestic violence & economic inequality here, people?] I actually didn’t really care very much at all while I was actually WORKING as an escort…but then I ended up in some classes that made me realize how warped feminist/academic discourses around the issue is & got involved in some advocacy organizations & it snowballed.

    And so I really wish sugar-land people [who are quite educated, etc.] would identify as sex workers & start broad-scale lobbying in support of a British model of prostitution law.

    I don’t really think y’all are the same. I just wish that would happen. That’s all. lol. Or at least occasionally write comments or op-ed articles telling Catherine Mackinnon/End Demand/Nicholas Kristoff/Melissa Farley that they’re full of baloney & make sure to vote for the sporadic decriminalize-prostitution-campaigns that pop up in CA from time to time.

    And hey, it might help things. I’m curious, DaddyGT & English Rose – is there as much escort-masquerading – on – Sugar-Site – stuff happening in the UK? I wonder whether people end up in the sugar-bowl because they don’t want to be arrested, or because they don’t want to think of themselves as escorts/johns. If it’s the former, the best way to get rid of the transactional element that lurks on these sites is to reduce the risks for transactioners on other sites? No? Just a personal musing…

    I almost sorta wish that they started burning the flame under the sugar-industry so y’all would take interest…but that’s just selfish. That’s all. pfew.

    @ Captain Fly-paper – up the ante again. This time, your turn :-)

    @ All – SERIOUS question: does breaking your marriage vows (for the first time) affect the quality of your marriage? I’m not talking about people in bad or already sorta distanced marriages. Sorry, I know that’s an incredibly nosy question…

    Background – I met with a potential SD. Totally gorgeous guy. Totally nice guy. Totally great chemistry. Totally BFF-in-love-with-his-spouse. But the typical post-kid-sexless-thing. & he seemed a bit nervous/on-the-fence…

    I feel like I’ve met a virgin. & I’m worried that pop-ing his fidelity-cherry will in some way add distance to what seems like a perfect marriage. Not the sex…I think that sex is way overblown. Mainly talking about adding a secret. Thoughts? I don’t have a problem seeing guys who have already had an affair, or guys who seem unhappy & not super-close, or guys who have made the decision BEFORE meeting me. Thanks…any advice would be appreciated.

  338. NewYorkGirl says:

    I can not catch up with you guys.

    Guru.
    The new avatar is the answer to your V day Q. :)

    And SDinLA somehow I do not have a sweet tooth, I can survive with no chocolate but i can not resist caviar . but there is no such thing as caviar fountain .?
    so some other SB can use this my space at ur chocolate fountain.
    Oh… I used to live in Irvine, OC – only 70 miles away.?
    Good night.

  339. SouthernCharmSB says:

    Hi sugar fam! Yay! The 3-day weekend is here and finally I get to feed my blog addiction after one of the longest days ever…

    @SouthernGent2 – xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo!! How are you, my sweetheart? I’d be so lucky to have the pleasure to meet you 😉 Appreciate your advice and will definitely keep it in mind. My SD has been a wonderful mentor and friend and I would not want to make him feel any less than the great man that he is.

    @SDinLA – Hi there, neighbor! Thanks for the advice :) I was never considering withholding the information from the pot or even my current SD for that matter (non-exclusivity is part of our arrangement), it was more about whether I should tell the pot before or during the first meeting. I actually went with the former and he doesn’t have an issue with it right now at least so we’ll see how things unfold. By the way, I want in on the chocolate pool too! And I’m only a hop and a skip away so just say when so I can mark my calendar! 😉

    re: your comment “@the ladies Tip: if you want to attract SouthernGent2′s attention, put “Southern” in your name and act like Scarlett O’Hara”
    —– Hahahahaha! What can I say though, there’s just something about us Southerners that makes us quite charming and irresistible! And…it’s not just the accent…we are hidden gems with hidden skills only a select few get to fully experience 😉

    @VaGent re: “Everybody seems to be looking for a better deal it seems–or just maybe a different deal?”
    —– Personally, I think this applies to most people and to most things, not just relationships. How many people want a better car, job, career, home, etc? It’s just something that comes along with the territory of being an ambitious person in general IMHO.

    re: “have you and your SD discussed monogamy recently or was it a concept early on in the relatonship ? I would advise that you talk to him about your plan to take on another SD.”
    —–Yes, non-exclusivity is a part of our arrangement. My current SD is the first married SD I have been involved with and when we first met I fully disclosed my concerns about this type of arrangement, mainly the issue of only being able to see each other once a month. This wasn’t the type of arrangement I was used to (us SBs have physical needs too, you know, and my previous arrangement was with an SD that would see me twice a week at least). I was completely upfront about my ideal arrangement being one in which we would see each other more often. Since that is not possible, my SD told me he understood and wouldn’t want to hold me back from meeting other people and that he would rather focus on the quality time that we do spend together and enjoy it for what it is – NSA. That was the understanding from Day 1 and remains so now.

    re: “If I discovered my SB had another SD I would be done immediately . If you saw my angst laced posts several months ago I was upset with my SB’s reactivation of her profile after many months of hiding it . She had her reasons and now it is hidden again but IMHO there is only one reason to reactivate –to find another SD . And that is what you are doing . Are you not happy with your SD ? Or are you looking for more allowance ? What is it that motivated you to start looking again.”
    —– To me NSA is just that, no strings attached. Yes, there is a strong connection and even a level of strong emotions in a NSA relationship, but being that my SD is married, I understand the boundaries and have no intention of crossing them. Maybe this hasn’t been clear to you since I am a full-time college student and, therefore, you may assume I depend solely on sugar to make ends meet and live comfortably. However, this could not be further from the truth. First of all, I am on scholarship at a very prestigious university and do not need my SD to pay for my tuition or any educational expenses for that matter. (Of course, this may change once I start grad school, but I will worry about that when I get there.) Secondly, I have a part-time job that I love and am extremely passionate about and do not depend on my SD to pay for my rent or any other personal expenses (although he would gladly do so if I asked). Hence, I do not feel that meeting a pot means that I am replacing my SD, especially when we have been open and honest with each other from the beginning. I do not foresee that aspect of our relationship changing simply because I am meeting a pot.

  340. DorkyGuy says:

    Daily post #2

    “Meg ~ Are you going to let Dorky get away with the 2 1/2 thing?” ~Stormypoo

    Et tu, Brute? Gotta be 30 sheckels of silver around here somewhere 😛 I will get my revenge! muuuhahahaha!

    @NewYorkGirl ~ dang… love the gravatars!

    “P.S. Stormypoo and Dorky, you’re never going to catch up to me with the blog entourages nyah nyah nyah” ~SDinLA

    I am absolutely confident Stormy can take you 😛 He whittles jewelry boxes by hand. If cities could be powered by Romance, he could power every vibrator in New York.

    Re: P4P On one hand, I can see advantages, on the other hand I have difficulty with it. Great arguments on both sides. It’s a Friday night… way too much thinking.

    “Particularly at DorkyGuy. My anti-Valentine’s day rant is less about feeling exploited, and more about the meaninglessness of the day. ~DaddyGT

    @DaddyGT~ I agree with much of what you said. I particularly like your attitude of always being generous, especially when it is unexpected. The only thing that I would ask you to consider is that sometimes it isn’t really important how significant a day is to you… what really matters is how significant the day is to the other person.

    Take your example of Christmas. To some, it is significant as a holy day. To others, it is significant for gifts. For yet others, (athiests), it has no significance whatsoever. But come Christmas morning when the kids wake up and look under the tree and see no presents, they don’t care that the holiday isn’t significant for you. They only care that you didn’t care that the holiday was significant to them. And they would be right to be disappointed.

    We don’t have to understand something, or even find it significant to be able to empathize with others that do. I am not Jewish, but I can totally appreciate Hanukkah.

    I would just suggest that despite your strong views, maybe not be legalistic about it? Sometimes what we think really doesn’t matter. Sometimes it is all for the recipient.

    “Now I really must run… to see a woman about an ocelot” ~SDinLA

    – wow! Another “Archer” fan? I assume you are referring to Carol, who does in fact have a pet ocelot.

    @Midwest~ Where is GrassHoover anyway? For some reason, I envision GrassHoover and SDinLA trying the sugar thing, but they can never quite get to the sex because they keep each other laughing too hard.

    @EnglishRose~ I do hope you come back after you have had a few drinks… Nothing is funner than watching a cute drunk girl accidentally divulge her secrets 😛

    @Meg (aka meg)~ :O post 2.5? Does that mean I won, we’re even, or we are upping the ante again? I have lost track. I am jealous of your stats though… I aspire to have a large enough sample size to be able to calculate my numbers to the percentile.

    @Beach_Girl~ Thank you :)

    “@Meg- only 1℅ ? I’m surprised your clants haven’t been standing outside of your place of employment with picket signs that say ‘we represent the 99%.'” ~jennibug

    LOL! Brilliant! Where do we go to join the “Occupy Meg” protests?

    • SD Guru says:

      @DorkyGuy

      what really matters is how significant the day is to the other person.

      DaddyGT will figure that out as soon as there are little DaddyGT’s running around! 😉

      @SouthernCharmSB
      I generally do not get involved with more than one SD at a time, but something about this pot is intriguing…

      Be careful of what you wish for. Once you go down that path you’ve got to be ready to handle the possible consequences. It could range from having two great SD’s to having none. How motivated are you to find out?? 😉

      @Michael
      Even toe-tingling, lip-numbing, mind-twisting sex cannot compensate for all the drama. Well, maybe. Ask me again in a week lol.

      I’ve always thought that a SD can put up with a lot of BS if the SB is hot and great in bed. Your horse trainer doesn’t stand a chance… 😆

      Va Gent
      It takes –what ? only 2 hours to make love ? —-okay –maybe 30 minutes —-well sometimes 3 minutes lol then we spend the rest of our overnight hanging out

      Making love can be an endurance sport, not just a sprint. But sometimes a sprint can be fun too! You mentioned that you spend overnight with your SB and you meet 2-3 times a week. As a married man, how are you able to pull that off without the spouse suspecting something? I’m not passing judgement, I’m just curious as a fellow married SD.

      @SDinLA

      And I’ve heard that chocolate dipped SBs make a splendid dessert

      Actually it’s true. Don’t forget the strawberries and whipped cream!! 😎

      He said he met some entitled reality TV actress who got all butt hurt that he didn’t say “Happy Valentine’s Day!” to her. It’s enough to drive a monkey bananas.

      I’d like to nominate you as the official blog jester (in addition to being the blog slut!). :mrgreen:

      maybe a read-only archive of moderated blog drama on the site would get the thumbs up

      That’s an interesting idea, I’ll look into it!

      @DaddyGT

      I’ve enjoyed reading all of your comments. Did you get anything else done today? 😉

      I knew a girl once who exuded so much sex appeal when she walked around… But in bed? She was a total damp squid.

      Unfortunately there is a lot of truth to what you said. Rarely will you find a woman who can match her sex appeal with her bedroom skills.

      I suppose the easiest way to answer the performance question, is Looking at the reasons I have broken it off with SBs and IRL girlfriends… Heh! Maybe that’s why I’m still single

      That’s a very impressive list!! Do you have a list for the reasons that you’ve stayed with your SB’s and IRL GF’s?? Maybe that will be an impressive list as well!

  341. Beach_Girl says:

    @ DianaSBinOC~ Not all the SDs on that list are fakes… I think some are there because they pissed of a SB or something. One guy is super nice and he’s on the list… too bad for him. But there are plenty of fake SDs on that list!

  342. Beach_Girl says:

    Phone Guy~ there are a few fake sugar daddy sites, just google it! 😀

  343. Tina says:

    @PhoneGuy: you nosy little monkey! :)

  344. Tina says:

    @DaddyGT: damp squid……teehee……

  345. PhoneGuy says:

    Plus with that blog for the fake daddy list
    @Diana, fake daddy list? Oohhh, dirt. where can I find that?

  346. DianaSBinOC says:

    I can’t keep up!!

    @DaddyGt – You seem to like ” NEXT” alot. So she must “put out” by date 2 or 3 or you’re nexting her. VA gent seemed to be on the same level.

    I have not met anyone from this site yet. Fakes and P4P are becoming easier to spot. Plus with that blog for the fake daddy list , I was lucky to have found a few that contacted me already there.
    Also I’m not one to initiate contact. Wasn’t raised to throw myself at men.

    The quote ” “The road to true love is paved with promiscuity.” Cute but who’s here looking for love? So I’m to sleep with many frogs to find a frog prince that’s probablt already married to a Queen? Be an escort to find a sugar daddy? Isn’t that the opposite of what SD’s are looking for?

    My head is starting to hurt especially after reading “The List”.DaddyGt that was a mouth full and not in the sexy, dirty way many are hoping for. lol

  347. Anna Molly says:

    SDinLA – Making me blush might be easier than you think. 😉

  348. Lydia Bennett says:

    There’s not such an SD population here to hit and then screen but if i actually get to the meet stage (so many vanish by 2nd email or txt, ive even had one vanish after 3rd installment??). I am experienced with each person different including me.
    I leave enough time and space to decide about play on the first date, yes..
    Maybe its my age, but i am quite liberated, no body image issues or hangups, and think of play as maybe, and more than likely to be, an activity that is part of the interaction and connection i have made with someone. A decision? a tension? nah, not a big deal to me..leave the big head out of it..tee hee..

  349. Tina says:

    Holy cow I missed a lot today. Damn jobs!

    @SDinLA: I was left out of the chocolate discussion? WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAT? Naughty little monsters love spankings while wearing only boxers later to be removed and replaced with chocolate :(

  350. SDinLA says:

    @Anna Molly I once made a GF laugh so hard she peed her pants. I thought the Bubbles remark was one of my better ones, but I guess you had to have read that person’s ranting the other night to “get” it.

    I made 2 blog SBs blush today. I should go for the trifecta, but I think it would be much harder to make you blush, what with Nawty/Naughty and all.

    @Meg I almost didn’t recognize you with that M being capitalized.

    @SouthernGent2 I was just riffing on your admitted blog crush on SouthernCharmSB, of course I have no idea what your actual criteria for SBs are. 😉

    @Guru instead of a book, which no doubt would be a best seller, maybe a read-only archive of moderated blog drama on the site would get the thumbs up from Brandon.

    Have a good Friday evening West Coasters, and hope it went well for those of you in time zones ahead of us.

  351. jenniebug says:

    @Meg- only 1℅ ? I’m surprised your clants haven’t been standing outside of your place of employment with picket signs that say “we represent the 99%.”

  352. Nwsugarbaby says:

    @SDinLA. PDX is pretty close for me. Can’t say ive been much of a cycle person, but I do that at the gym sometimes if I feel like doing something different than running for cardio. As for you being a blog slut at least i have distance working in my favor since you drop into these parts now and then. If it makes a difference your my blog crush for now too.

    Enjoy the weekend everyone.

  353. SouthernGent2 says:

    @Midwest – I just found it. Had to laugh because that is actually a bit off base. Then again, a coed in a sorority in any SEC school is probably a good candidate for me 😉

  354. Beach_Girl says:

    Hello Sugars!

    LASB~ I can’t wait to hear about it 😀 I hope you had an amazing time on your trip

    Midwest~ Hi kitten, prrrrr back at you 😉

    Hi to everyone!
    I can’t even dream of catching up on the scroll here… it’s been a stressful and long day!
    Welcome back Dorky , ContentSB, Diana SB

  355. jenniebug says:

    I don’t hook up on first dates. My daddy always told me that its not a classy thing to do. That is all!

  356. Meg says:

    Post 2.5 of the day 😉

    Time-line? For me, ready to get down-&-dirty with 1% of SDs on the first date. 4% second date. 25% on the 3rd-4th. 20% 5-6th. 50% can tell it’s a no-go on the first meet.

    The older, less physically attractive & more awkward you are (er…sorry to be straight-up…but…) the longer it takes for me to want to be intimate with you… [in a way that significantly differs from ‘wanting-to-be-intimate-with-a-client’]

  357. Midwest SB says:

    SG2 – No…it’s for you. SDinLA made the comment (I think). She’s southern and sassy…even a little pouty :-)

  358. SouthernGent2 says:

    @Midwest – not sure I understand your Scarlett O’Hara comment above. Maybe you meant that for someone else???

  359. Midwest SB says:

    VA Gent – Please don’t think I’m singling you out or insulting your choice or your sb’s choice There are different arrangements for everyone.

  360. LASB says:

    G – I don’t have a number. It’s more of a feeling and it’s never ended because of the lack of sugar. It’s always been some other reason.

  361. Midwest SB says:

    DaddyGT – For the record, I put my range and my goals in my profile, I screen pots relentlessly so that by the time we actually get to a date, there are no mysteries. I have never had the awkward negotiating. Now, remember that my gents have been from 2 hours driving to 3 hours flying, so it’s a different scenario than local. All three of mine have been one date here and one date for me to see him in his area for a weekend (typically a suite or separate rooms). We had quick connections, so it was usually sometime during the second 2-day visit. I guess 2nd or 3rd date is the short answer. I do respect that sugar accelerates the typical dating process, but won’t sleep with a guy just because he’s “promising” an allowance. Same as a woman “promising” intimacy just for an allowance. I just find that to be bad form.

    VAGent – If your SB had asked you to wait a few dates, would you have done so? Is there a chance you could have missed other great ladies because you want to accelerate the intimacy to be certain you want to be with that person?

  362. Jessie says:

    @DaddyGT – My answer is almost the same as @LASB’s….in that I don’t have a number. If I agree to go out with you three times, it means I like you. As long as we’re both just getting to know each other, without any pressure for sex, an allowance, gifts, etc. is not expected.

  363. DaddyGT says:

    @LASB
    Science that throws up outliers that might not fit the model is bad science. Really bad science. (Bad numerical methods are a personal pet peeve. In a huge way) Oh, don’t get me started on numbers. I could talk about the history of zero till the cows come home, and then I’ll get started on the other numbers. Hahaha!!

    It would be interesting to hear if you have *a number* though. I think it would help a lot of us SDs here try and better navigate the already precarious pre-arrangement etiquette.

    GT are just my initials. Nothing more.

    @EnglishRose
    Have a happy sleep. There is something to the phrase in vino veritas though, so feel free to keep posting here, even after a bit of wine.

  364. LASB says:

    DaddyGt-
    how many dates is a SB willing to go on with a pot SD with *zero* allowance, and no gifts or consideration beyond the cost of the lunch/dinner or night out, as you get to know each other?

    My number is way too high. I would be so far on the extreme of the curve, that you’d have to throw my answer out for the overall data to be accurate. 😉

    Btw, what does the Gt stand for? Sorry if it’s been asked before.

  365. EnglishRose says:

    @Dutchy
    Hahahaha…I am rather touchy feely, it can’t be helped, I blame my Italian side. I’m sure DaddyGT won’t mind though ;P
    But yes, honorary SB indeed! You’ll have a ball, I promise, haha.
    In regards to foreign languages, I think the education system has a terrible attitude/teaching style when it comes to languages. I studied French for nearly 8 years….ask me to try and string together a coherent sentance. Honestly, it’s terrible.

    @DaddyGt
    Wow, I wish I could’ve worked for your family! I completely agree about the astoshing rudeness of grown adults, particularly to public servants and helpers, I always make a special effort to be polite to strangers, and those that are serving me. I enjoy giving out smiles and thank yous! :)
    Oh, and it reached 11 celsius today! So it’s safe to come back 😛

    @Dorky
    Nice to see you gracing us with your prescence on the blog occasionally :)
    And your sentiment regarding Valentines Day is really lovely, I sometime’s let myself be a bit of a Grinch as I can’t stand obtrusive, poor taste, in your face advertiisments, which of course come hand in hand with any major holiday but I will definitely think about your post every time I start getting thay way! :)

    Owie… I had 2 glasses of red wine when I was out and I made the mistake of not eating dinner, which means it goes straight to my head and makes my brain hurt! I’m going to sleep before I chatter away too much and probably say something stupid :)

  366. DaddyGT says:

    @LASB
    I also don’t put pressure on him to hand over a bunch of cash.

    That (especially in discussions here), tends to be the corollary to the sex end of the equation.

    It is very unsettling to go out on a date, or for a meet with a SB whose sole interest seems to be “so when do I get the cash”. Similarly too, I can only presume going out with a guy who seems to be “So when do we have sex” will be just as off putting.

    I can only say that not every single pot you actually meet will be the right one, never mind the ones that contact you or suggest an arrangement. Unfortunately, most people do not want to be told that (sugar dating is easy right?), hence the feeling of pressure that once you have met a potential once or twice, something has got to happen. Fortunately, there is a happy medium, or this site would not be the success it is.

    I’ll throw it out here … how many dates is a SB willing to go on with a pot SD with *zero* allowance, and no gifts or consideration beyond the cost of the lunch/dinner or night out, as you get to know each other? Everyone has a number, and for some that number, unfortunately, is 0.

    Since this blog discussion is about learning, it would be *incredibly useful* to get an answer to the above from the SBs here, both experienced and newbies.

    And on a not so related note, is anyone else having issues with Firefox and this site? Mine’s been throwing up 400 errors all evening, and I had to switch to Chrome!

  367. Anna Molly says:

    The Bubbles comment is just too much! LOL 😀

  368. LASB says:

    Hello Midwest!! As usual, I agree with what you’ve had to say in regards to the p4p issue. Personally, if a guy has said, “We have to get the sex out the way,” or even insinuated it, I’d have to say “next.” Furthermore, I don’t wish to be objectified via a transactional relationship. Though I suppose, since I’ve never used sugar to get me through desperate times, I can afford to be choosy. I also don’t put pressure on him to hand over a bunch of cash. I like things to happen organically or not at all. I realize everyone is different and believe there is someone for everyone, so I’m only speaking for myself.

    No plans to travel (Vegas doesn’t count– it’s merely a suburb of LA) any time soon. I’m buckling down this year and back in school. I used to love school, but I have to say, my brain has atrophied significantly since the last time I was in this situation. Or maybe it’s just a case of adult onset A.D.D. :( How are you doing it with so many distractions in life?

  369. SDinLA says:

    You’d think it would be a simple task to get 3 quotes on enlarging a marble fountain… and to get your supply of chocolate tripled…. but noooooooo.

    @Midwest SB Sorry, the exotic chocolate tasting has been called off. I need every bit of gourmet chocolate I can find to coat Nwsugarbaby, Anna Molly, NewYorkGirl and Dutch Girl in London with in the fountain. Given my pending fountain upsizing, there might be room for more though.

    @Dutch Girl, dark chocolate is a given. Any good chocolate has a much higher cocoa solid content than the EU minimum to be called “dark.” US rules are a joke, so you have to use EU guidelines to assess chocolate. Hope you run a PR in your race!

    @Guru Bubbles left me. Je suis desole. He’s off doing reality TV, chasing fame and fortune. He has a show in development with MTV I think. We still talk, in fact he called me today. He said he met some entitled reality TV actress who got all butt hurt that he didn’t say “Happy Valentine’s Day!” to her. It’s enough to drive a monkey bananas. Come to think of it Bubbles was really my go-to animal for IT matters, this single laptop thing only really got bad when he left.

    @Va Gentleman, I applaud you for your 40 step plan rehearsals, but I am afraid that NewYorkGirl is going to have to drop out of the plan, she’s got a chocolate fountain bacchanalia to attend Chez SDinLA (or in Vegas if we can find a suitable fountain in a suite.)

    @Nwsugarbaby ooh, you’re a runner too? I like runners (and cyclists, I prefer to pedal than run personally.) Now you’re DEFINITELY my new #1 blog crush 😉 (at least for today, I’m a blog slut remember.) I spend time in Seattle area and in PDX area.

    Midwest wants in on the chocolate fountain/naked wrestling action so we may have to go with your idea and just get the hot tub filled with chocolate instead. Even better, a hot tub with a chocolate fountain going into it! So much for my OCD tendencies, see it only took the thought of being with 5 naked SBs in a chocolate filled hot tub for me to not worry about the germs and sullying the chocolate. I should have thought of this years ago. Hell, forget the hot tub, I’ll drain the swimming pool, and presto, room for my entire SB blog entourage.

  370. Nwsugarbaby says:

    @Dutch Girl

    Good luck in your race. I ran an 8k over the summer and participated competitively in high school.

    @SDinLA

    Looks like we need a dark chocolate hot tub for everyone. Which part of the Pacific NW do you make it too. I’m in the Oregon Willamette Valley where it rains a lot of course. There are some great vineyards and such out this way. Dorky is a great guy from his posts so being your new crush made me blush. :) at the same time i hope he isnt the crazy jealous type. jk

  371. Va Gentleman says:

    Variety is the spice of life !

    It’s interesting to see so many opinions from so many all over the world .

    What works for one might not work for others . @ SouthernGent is lucky enough to have a friend -a non Sugar platonic drop dead gorgeous friend –how neat is that ? As @ DaddyGT says ,get the sex out of the way —I agree that it can confuse the issue , @Midwest is not a fan of test drives , @ DaddyGT shares the British rule that consideration must change hands —and on and on . All valid concerns .

    When one experiences success then that success becomes the reality and the blueprint for future endeavors. I am lucky ( at the moment ) to have an almost perfect SB for me . I know few things last forever and as many of you have observed , the life span of a Sugar Relationship is short (4 Months ? ) I have so far beaten those odds and will enjoy “us” until “we” are no longer . My point is that my “blueprint” might need to change if I re enter the Sugar Bowl and PTP might not work for another SB . And I might not have sex with my new SB for 6 months or until my penis drops off , whichever comes first . NYGirl and I have discussed the 40 step plan and are practicing in cyber space right now . So my running off at the mouth is therapeutic for me and I again refence DaddyGT who said that ” I like rambling on this blog. It helps me gather my thoughts and opinions on a whole bunch of matters ”

    Everyone have a great weekend!

  372. Dutch Girl says:

    @SDinLA I am quite petite so you don’t need that much more space in the chocolate fountain. Please make sure it is dark chocolate though, any other and it is just not the same.

    I am off to bed as I am running a cross country race tomorrow. Have fun with the chocolate!

  373. Midwest SB says:

    Oh my…one shouldn’t post after a few margaritas on a Friday afternoon in celebration of a beautiful Spring-like day.

    DaddyGT, Jessie- Thank you for kindly pointing that out **blush**

    I would still like to hear from VAGent though.

    SG2 – I know you’ve had a few disappointments, but I’ve never heard you complain. Overall, I’d say you’ve done just fine. I had to laugh at the Scarlett O’ Hara comment…that is SOOOO you!

    SDinLA – I’m in for the exotic chocolate tasting! I hope there will be red wines and ports! I shall wear my sexy cocoa heels in celebration of the event!

    DorkyGuy – I hear a sucking sound (and it’s not GrassHoover!)! You’re being pulled back into the blog like that golf ball!

    • SD Guru says:

      Glad to see all the intelligent discussions on the blog! There is too much to get to so I’ll post more later. Me thinks SDinLA has taken over Neverland and his animals are running amok. It’s a matter of time before Bubbles the chimp takes over his laptop and makes an appearance on the blog! :mrgreen:

  374. DaddyGT says:

    Short of Brandon setting up an escrow service, you will always have stories of gilted parties in sugarland.

    The best thing is for both parties to be aware that such sleaziness exists, whilst at the same time giving their potential mate the benefit of the doubt.

    When you have been around the block a few times though, you start to get a sense or feeling for such “this does not feel right” scenarios. Little things that are hard to explain or pin down, will give off the tell-tale signs of a potential scammer. Given though, the fact that a lot of people here (SDs in particular), are rather, shall we say, “socially inept”, they make for ripe targets.

    I think it was SD Guru who wrote that someone has to blink first, and it is better if the SD does so. I agree, to a huge extent. My one caveat, as outlined above, is that I will limit myself to a weekly allowance till performance (not just sex) and compatibility are truly established. As a result though, any pot SB who requests a consideration for, or before the first meet (which I am happy to pay for and travel to no less), gets a very very very fast “Next!!” in my books.

    Be careful. There are scammers out there. But don’t be so paranoid that you spoil what could otherwise have been an otherwise fullfilling relationship.

    And my English Law quote was really in jest. That said, you have to love English law.

    Love and affection are not permissible forms of consideration. A promise to make a gift contains no consideration because it does not entail a legal benefit received by the promisor or a legal detriment suffered by the promisee. Because a promise to give a gift is freely made by the promisor, who is not subject to any legal duty to do so, the promise is not enforceable unless there is Promissory Estoppel. Promissory estoppel is a doctrine by which a court enforces a promise that the promisor reasonably expects will induce action or forbearance on the part of a promisee, who justifiably relied on the promise and suffered a substantial detriment as a result. Where a court enforces a promise by applying this doctrine, promissory estoppel serves as a substitute for the required consideration.

    So, Technically a SD who promises an allowance for play, and then reneges, is still liable for the amount, although that will of course be cloudied by the whole legality of the P4P transaction***.

    ***Please ignore my blurbs on the law. I am not trying to start a discussion on that. Just having a bit of Friday night fun.

  375. DaddyGT says:

    @Midwest.
    Daddy GT
    First you say […] Then go on to say

    I think you have the daddies mixed up there. That was the Va Gentleman

    That said your comment “I don’t think there is ever going to be a right answer for SBs and SDs to agree upon in this area, but to me the man who shows me enough respect to be willing to step up and to say “you’re worth” it is the man for me.”

    Can certainly work both ways. Indeed sometimes the woman needs to step up to the plate too.

    It is an incredibly delicate balance, like any mating ritual is. You are totally correct though, there is no right answer, and individuals are going to have to find that balance that works for them.

    Indeed, both SBs and SDs are dancing to the same tune. On the one hand, you want to prove that you are both the real deal and are worth it. On the other hand, you want to figure out whether the other person is also the real deal and is worth it.

    And in blogs across the internet, you will find horror stories from SBs and SDs being taken for a ride. I remember reading one SB’s blog, and thinking “If I had read this before I ever sampled sugar, I would never have dipped my toes, nevermind jump in with both feet.” The blog was basically a how-to on scamming SDs for money before consigning them to the rubbish heap. I should dig it up.

    Similarly, I read something that Meg linked to, which was a guy writing about how he gets free sex from SBs.

    Free sex and free money are not in themselves bad, not at all, but they really are when either is acquired due to deception and false promises. And they totally muddy the waters for pretty much everyone else.

  376. Jessie says:

    @Midwest – Actually your first quote is a direct quote from @VA Gent, who is p44 and has consistently posted that he doesn’t believe in “sugar” before “sex.” @DaddyGT is not necessarily a p4p. He wrote…”Personally, I prefer to dip my feet into it with a SB with weekly allowance for the “rest of the month”, and depending on how that goes, then switching to a monthly allowance after that.”

  377. PhoneGuy says:

    @bugaboo4u

    I agree with what others have written, maybe a clear body shot and a few more details of what you are looking for. Maybe you are flexible with your activities or type of arrangement in which case your profile completely spells out what you want.

    If I were in Toronto, I would be looking you up. 😉

    As many others have said, this is really a numbers game. My guesstimate is that I get about a 20% response rate to initial email I send out. Are you sending out email to pot SDs or are you waiting for them to come to you?

    As far a being bi goes, that would not be a deterrent to me. What could be better in this world than your SB also liking women?!? That would just be one more thing we have in common, admiration of the female form. 😀

    Good luck.

    @VA Gent, thank you for the pang of loneliness as you remind me exactly what is missing in my life. 😉

    @Emily, I have never understood fakes and liars, people who offer things they can’t deliver or use fake pictures. I just don’t get it. Their deceit is going to be revealed long before they can profit from it. Why waste everyone’s times and energy. Do not get it. Sorry to hear of your experience.

  378. SouthernGent2 says:

    @Midwest – sort of like me huh? 😉

  379. Midwest SB says:

    Emily – I’m so sorry. There are a ton of flakes here. Might I suggest that you ask him to visit you for your first get-together. I know you want to get out of VA, but it’s a huge gamble to travel to an SD for the first visit. If you have to wait a few weeks/ months, then so be it…you’re worth it.

    Daddy GT
    First you say…”If I enter the sugar bowl again I am totally down for platonic dating a while until a pot SB (and I ) decide to commit to each other as SD/SB . But there will never be an exchange of Sugar until she has agreed to make love with me . Period !”

    Then go on to say…”In sugarland, as in business, nothing is guaranteed until you have signed the dotted line and as they say in English Law “a con$ideration has changed hands””

    I’m not a fan of “test drives”. If you give an allowance and are disappointed after the first or second sexual encounter, then can’t you consider it a gift to someone who you liked enough to pursue an arrangement with and let it go? You’re p4p anyways, so what’s the harm? I’m not saying money is disposable, but I am saying that respecting a woman’s decision to say “no” to intimacy until the arrangement is agreed upon seems like the right thing to do. Meanwhile, there’s the flirting, a little foreplay, and tantalizing anticipation.

    I don’t think there is ever going to be a right answer for SBs and SDs to agree upon in this area, but to me the man who shows me enough respect to be willing to step up and to say “you’re worth” it is the man for me.

  380. SouthernGent2 says:

    @VaGent – let me add that I do enjoy a platonic relationship with someone I met from the site. Its still going since Oct. I only buy the meals, nothing else. I enjoy her company a great deal, and honestly feel I am getting the better end of the deal as she is super arm candy. But in about six or seven times together, I have given her a grand total of $5 to cover a valet. I’m sure when people see us out, they probably think I am giving her thousands lol.

  381. SouthernGent2 says:

    @VaGent – thanks for the comments. I like doing the same things with someone I enjoy, the fine dining, events together, etc. But like you, at some point during date night, there will be the sex and fun time together.

    Maybe its the type girls I meet, or whatever they might be, but I have only met two girls that were willing to jump in the sack right away first night. Others have wanted to go a bit slow, and I am willing to be a bit patient. But I have never been a no sex / no sugar sort of guy. I am willing to “court” a girl a bit, buy her something to give her a taste of the temptations, etc. But there is the stopping point line that I mentioned earlier. I know at three dates max and X amount of dollars if this is going to work or not.

    I know I have a lot of competition for the girls I go after also. Almost all I have met like my approach to things. I feel confident the way I do things gives me an edge in landing the best sb talent.

  382. SDinLA says:

    @the various Mollies No, you don’t have to cater, I’d prefer you focused on frolicking in the chocolate fountain with NewYorkGirl (FYI there’s a ban on bikinis or any attire in the chocolate fountain)

    I need a bigger fountain… and more chocolate… I’m not sure this one is big enough for me, Nwsugarbaby, NewYorkGirl and you. There’s this hot Dutch chick on my Facebook I’m trying to get to join us too, so definitely need more room.

    You don’t have to feel bad for Dorky, I am sure he’s quite content… 😉

    Alright, now I really have to head out, already broke the “No food while sitting in front of the laptop rule” today.

    Toodles…

  383. Anna Molly says:

    SDinLA ~ That sounds like fun! I’m game, especially if there is chocolate involved!!! Mmmm, chocolate. Blog slut…you’re so bad and I like it! 😉

  384. Anna Molly says:

    Poor Dorky! :(

    Why don’t I cater for SDinLA and Nwsugarbaby! That would interesting! That way I could make some money for my catering biz and she wouldn’t have to cook!! I promise I will peek…hehehe.

  385. SDinLA says:

    @Anna/Naughty/Nawty Right back atcha. Maybe you and NewYorkGirl can come and wrestle in my chocolate fountain this weekend… I might even be convinced to join in, OCD tendencies and all.

    (I’m such a shameless blog slut. I blame it on all those years of sexless marriage.)

  386. Anna Molly says:

    SDinLA ~ I would love to have a talking, computer literate, dog! 😉

    You know, I’ve lived in upstate NY for over 15 years and I haven’t lost my southern accent. I doubt I ever will. :)

  387. SDinLA says:

    @Nwsugarbaby Ooh, a home cooked meal sounds divine. Sorry Dorky, I think I may replace you as my #1 blog crush… cool browser add ons don’t beat a home cooked meal. I spend a fair amount of time in the Pacific NW actually, where are you located, I’ll bring the wine! 😉

    (And I’ve heard that chocolate dipped SBs make a splendid dessert. *nudge nudge wink wink say no more*)

  388. Va Gentleman says:

    @bugaboo4u

    You seem to be very attractive and your profile is pretty standard .

    I would like to see a clearer body picture–with or without face.

    And I wonder if seeking both men and women Sugars limit your pool of Pots who prefer their SB to be hetero . I’m totally not sure of this –I would be interested in the board’s take on this .

  389. SDinLA says:

    Apparently this cat doesn’t talk, and I only invest in talking/computer literate animals…

    @Dutch Girl in London I was only teasing, I did not mean to make you blush… well maybe a little bit. 😉 Hot chick on Facebook huh? Maybe if I had enough hot chick friends it would motivate me to create a FB account.

    @DaddyGT We never seemed to have any attractive help either. It was all men or total Brunhildas. I do love a good coming of age story though.

    @Emily Sorry to hear of your bad experience. There are many time wasters in the online dating world, just use your experience with him to help you screen better next time. (Wow, I’m starting to sound like Guru. “Don’t reward bad behavior.”)

    Now I really must run… to see a woman about an ocelot (@Nwsugarbaby I just made up that saying for your benefit ;-))

  390. Nwsugarbaby says:

    @SDinLA A treat for the horse owner. Its much easier to find a treat for a horse, but I suppose no guy can turn down a home cooked meal. So the treat of a home cooked meal is dangling, of course the condition is that I would have to give your horse his treat first.

  391. DaddyGT says:

    @Emily

    In sugarland, as in business, nothing is guaranteed until you have signed the dotted line and as they say in English Law “a con$ideration has changed hands”

    You will always find folk like that in all walks of life.

  392. Anna Molly says:

    Good afternoon everyone!

    Emily ~ I’m sorry.. :(

  393. Va Gentleman says:

    @ Southern Gent

    RE:Performance

    I know I come across to the Sugars like a sex maniac , but the one constant that has to exist for me in a Sugar relationship is Sex. Just like the one constant for SBs is —Sugar . I like what @DaddyGT said about getting the sex over with so you can get on with getting to know each other . lol !

    My SB and I always make love every visit we are together . We both love it and it is the one thing that differentiates a platonic friendship from a love affair. We also go out to dinner ,shop together ,have little outings , and travel together . We both want to get out of the room and have a real life together . But in the end (and beginning ,and middle ) making love is the tie that binds, and I stress making love rather than f**ing. I have so much love in my heart for my SB that I hunger for the time we spend together —mostly not sexually driven. It takes –what ? only 2 hours to make love ? —-okay –maybe 30 minutes —-well sometimes 3 minutes lol then we spend the rest of our overnight hanging out ,reading ,watching TV or movies –things that real couples do together . And we just enjoy the closeness -the physical contact – the snuggling while we are doing those mundane things . There’s nothing more sensual than holding hands while reading , her head on my shoulder ,toes intertwined . Those of you who have been or are in love know of what I speak.

    @DaddyGT

    ” But if by date 2 or 3 we are not already making whoopie—”

    If I enter the sugar bowl again I am totally down for platonic dating a while until a pot SB (and I ) decide to commit to each other as SD/SB . But there will never be an exchange of Sugar until she has agreed to make love with me . Period ! We each have our own way , and many of you have said that there will be no sex until sugar is determined . There is no free lunch on either side of the Sugar Bowl . I enjoy the relationship and will not pay for arm candyor a dinner companion . Now the dates are all to be covered by me of course

  394. Nwsugarbaby says:

    @SDinLA
    Chocolate tasting in Vegas. It would be hard to decide which would be better the to die for chocolate or being in sin city. I can agree to the no chocolate covered cherries, but I love chocolate covered strawberries. What about a fondue fountain of this amazing European chocolate with all kinds of goodies to dig into it with? Discussing all this chocolate has made me hit my weakness again….good thing my roommate got me some chocolate for valentine’s day….yumm.

    @DaddyGT
    Valentine’s day is crazy overrated in todays society. The thought of making someone feel cared about should last all year long though it doesnt hurt to say Happy Valentine’s Day too. I saw somewhere that the average a guy spends for valentine’s on a woman is 187 dollars. While that isn’t a lot for a SD for most people that is going way overboard after all we still are in a global economic crisis to some degree.

    I think talking about sexual preferences makes it more comfortable with a guy if it does head in that direction. I personally would like to know if a pot SD had a fetish or position he loved so I could know if we would be a good sexually compatible match without having a disappointing time in the bedroom later and an unsuccessful arrangement.

    @DutchGirl In London
    Great to hear about your positive experience as an Au Pair. I may do that for a summer right after graduation sounds like an incredible experience. I know we had an exchange student for a couple of weeks one summer and although there were cultural differences I learned a lot from her. Also I am jealous of your snow as we are behind our usual amount in the USA northwest. I love the snow and many snow activities.

    @bugaboo4u
    I’m newer to the blog and SD/SB dating as well. I looked at your profile and maybe putting some more detail into what you are looking for along with a picture that shows more of your face or body. I feel like overall though looking at profiles similar to yours helps show you how your competition presents themselves and SDs also offer great advice for improvements.

  395. Emily says:

    I’ll tell you what’s a turn off. Some jerk from Massachusetts telling me that he’s willing to fly me up there from West Virginia to spend the weekend with him when he was lying about it the entire time. Now, why would someone do that? I’ve been dying to get out of this misserable state for months and this dickweed led me on by telling me ha was going to pay for my trip to New England.
    I’m glad this site has a block feature, because I just blocked retarded ass. If you’re not serious about a girl, don’t try to give her the impression you are. I’ll bet he’s not even a doctor; he’s probably a parking attendant or a janitor.

  396. DaddyGT says:

    @Dutch Girl in London when you waxed lyrical about your experience as an au pair, I fully expected “I even tasted my first sip of wine there.” to be followed by a recounting of how you also turned two boys into men that summer.

    Hahaha. A lot of my high school friend lost their virginity to their housekeepers. Sadly by the time I got to that age, all the women working in the GT household were definitely older, and not of the MILF persuasion.

  397. Dutch Girl says:

    <SDinLA You made me blush so much! No, I certainly did not do such a thing since the boys were 8 and 10 years old. I was only 15 at the time and still a very innocent tomboy, more interested in horses than boys. The boys still refer to me as to their ‘adopted’ older sister and when their friends ask ‘Who is the hot chick on your Facebook page?’, they get very annoyed and protective as good brothers should do!

    I did get my first ever kiss from a local Frenchman though.

  398. SDinLA says:

    @LASB You’re welcome for the intro. I made a tongue-in-cheek rant about “What’s so great about coed SBs?” on the Coed SB blog topic after not posting here for a while and Guru kind of gave me an introduction to the new readers, and I actually thought that was a useful thing.

    re: chocalatiers. Not sure about Vegas, haven’t been spending time there the past few years. There are some very good artisan chocolatiers in here in California, but I am too selfish to share them- they make small batches and it’s hard enough to get your hands on their stuff as it is, especially in this town where there are so many entitled (;-)) celebs and such who use their fame to try and cut in line. I just send people to Teuscher- decent # of US locations and way better than Godiva et al. I’m actually not a complete snob about chocolate, I love See’s for what it is.

    @DaddyGT Glad to amuse the blog SDs as well. Some of my commentary is definitely intended for the SD audience more so than the SBs. You seem to have a lot of strong (and well articulated) opinions on a lot of this stuff, you should emulate the Guru and start your own SD blog!

    I actually agree with a lot of what you’ve written. I was raised in a household with all kinds of staff, never fewer than half a dozen servants, and often more. But the severe dysfunction in my family had very little to do with that and much more to do with the mood disorders of the people having the kids.

    @the ladies Tip: if you want to attract SouthernGent2’s attention, put “Southern” in your name and act like Scarlett O’Hara 😉

    @Dutch Girl in London when you waxed lyrical about your experience as an au pair, I fully expected “I even tasted my first sip of wine there.” to be followed by a recounting of how you also turned two boys into men that summer. 😉

    @Nwsugarbaby If my horse gets a treat, shouldn’t I get one too? 😉

    @Alleycat Isn’t this the 6th, or 7th, or 25th time that it’s ended with on-again-off-again drama SB? Apparently the toe-tingling sex keeps you coming back even if the drama eventually repulses you for a bit.

    @everyone The per meet discussion has been exhaustively debated before, and I think it will always be a contentious issue. There’s no one formula that works for everyone. I have never done pay per meet, because philosophically it doesn’t “feel” like what I am looking for, and also having to remember to bring X amount of cash every time I saw my SB would have driven me bonkers. But not having to worry about a spouse or hiding the money trail made it easier for me than for many SDs. I also NEVER set up a “schedule” re: X allowance for Y # of “visits”, again that feels too transactional to me. The long term SBs that I had were all effectively girlfriends with boundaries, and there was enough chemistry and desire to see each other that we ended up spending a lot of time together without having to stipulate a minimum # of “meets.” Did that cost me financially at times? Hell yeah. I’ve mentioned my first train-wreck of an attempt at having a SB before, including the bonfire she started with the clothing and car I had provided. Another early attempt cost me a semester of medical school tuition for one “encounter.” Live and learn. I think if I figured out a “per encounter” price for my marriage it still came out more than a semester of tuition.

    Maybe meeting all my eventual SBs IRL made a difference too. It’s not that hard to read the situation and know if it’s going at an acceptable pace when you’ve spent a good deal of face time already with said person. Actually the one time I tried to find a SB online, I think of the half dozen or so women I met with, there was zero chemistry with one, but I turned down first date sex with every single one of the others, mostly due to OCD issues rather than any lack of physical attraction- I figured I’m not THAT irresistible, if they’re offering it to me, who knows how many times they’ve done this before? (Dang it, that still makes me sound kinda conceited. I really just wanted to convey that it was never an issue for me to have to use a per meet method to “ease my way into things” and minimize my potential losses, but I can where that might be a wise stratagem for the SDs.)

    Alright, this is getting DaddyGT-esque in length. 😉 Off to see a man about a horse, or dog, or cat, or something….

  399. DaddyGT says:

    @SouthernGent2

    is performance strictly sex a certain number of times per month?

    I realise this question was not directed at me, but I’ll have a go answering anyway. (I like rambling on this blog. It helps me gather my thoughts and opinions on a whole bunch of matters.)

    I like the word performance. It is all encompassing. I suppose we are always judging our loved ones on their performance, and the sugar bowl is no different, possibly harsher. For me, performance is more than just sex. Far more than sex.

    I always used to joke that the world would be a much better place if every courtin’ couple got the sex out of the way first, then got onto the business of building their relationship without the sexual tension. I wasn’t really joking. Hahaha. Seriously though, *only* after the initial sex can you truly get to testing your compatibility with someone. Before that, the sexual tension tends to cloud one’s judgement.

    I suppose the easiest way to answer the performance question, is Looking at the reasons I have broken it off with SBs and IRL girlfriends
    * boring – I like interesting conversations
    * boring in bed – I’m not overly kinky, but lying there and thinking of England while expecting me to get off on that is not good
    * neediness – No, I’m probably not going to pick up the phone every time you call, or sometimes even be able to return the call on the same day
    * clinginess – No, I will not chaperone you 24-7 at *every* social even we attend together
    * jealousy – You probably shouldn’t ask me about my other GFs if it is going to make you go all psycho. Asking “Did you fuck her then?” about every female acquaintance of mine we encounter together, is also not going to end well.
    * psycho behaviour – NSA means a lot of things, but no drama is certainly one of them, and going psycho on me at the pub is certainly drama
    * inappropriate decorum – From dress to behaviour in certain potentially sensitive situations, and no I am not going to be your finishing school
    * inappropriate decorum II – If you really need to be texting & chatting on your phone every time we are together, then we won’t work
    * taking me for granted – No, turning up unannounced at my place and expecting me to settle your £60 cab ride is not OK
    * dishonesty – All you needed to do was ask, and you could have had that bottle of champagne out of the fridge to take with you, with no problems
    * flakiness & non-appearance – Disappearing all month and appearing in time for the next allowance, or only when you need some help, is not what I’m into
    * fake-attraction – Harder to spot, but bolting at the first opportunity right after sex is something I can get much cheaper from an escort
    * entitlement – Adding a “Please” to a ‘buy me something’ request goes a long way
    * ultimatums – Putting an ‘or else’ at the end of a ‘buy me something’ request is not endearing, and will definitely not end well for one of us.
    * inflexibility – We are not going to be eating at Quagglinos every night, and being a snob when out at a more modest establishment (especially with my friends) is so not sexy
    * rudeness – Being rude to waiters, barmen, door staff, cab drivers, whatever, is so not sexy
    * bigots – Huge turn off, and sometimes you don’t realise just how bigoted someone is for a long time. Soooo not sexy
    * no ambition – This one will always be contentious, but I prefer to surround myself with people who are going places, rather than those who just want to be pretty. Vacuous arm candy is great, until you have tried it, then it gets very boring very quickly.
    * fire dies – Sometimes, a relationship just runs its course, and the fire dies. Best thing after that is to move on, and be civil about it.

    There’s probably a few more, that I can’t think of, off the top of my head right now.

    How harshly I judge this performance does of course depend on just how much I am into you, the stage of our relationship, and on the severity of the infraction. Some things I am happy to talk about. Others are automatic breakup infractions. Heh! Maybe that’s why I’m still single. *sigh*

    Please don’t judge my list too harshly. I am just rambling after all. Feel free to add to the list though :-)

  400. SouthernGent2 says:

    DaddyGT – I think there was a previous blog that had some posts similar to what you are saying. I have certainly adopted that approach into anyone I might meet. In other words, if something hasn’t happened by the time I have invested X amount of dollars into her, then I am either going to walk at that point, or politely see if she is ready to cross the threshold.

    Taking this tactic has been good because I never feel like I have been burned (learned my lessons twice early on a few years ago). I set the line that I can live with, and when its reached we either cross it or we don’t. If I like someone and feel attraction, I have no problem going to the line I have set.

  401. SouthernGent2 says:

    VA Gent – good post you made on P4P. On your comment that it ties allowance to performance…………is performance strictly sex a certain number of times per month? Do you also take your sb out to nice dinners, shopping, events, movies, or anything else? In other words, is there more to performance other than sex?

  402. DaddyGT says:

    @Va Gentleman.

    Regarding pay-for-play, everyone will have a different take on it. And no one method is right, or right for everyone.

    Personally, I prefer to dip my feet into it with a SB with weekly allowance for the “rest of the month”, and depending on how that goes, then switching to a monthly allowance after that.

    If I am seeing her just once per week (personally prefer twice), it is effectively initially P4P for the first few weeks. But if by date 2 or 3 we are not already making whoopie, it is unlikely that we will work out longer term.

    This does initially limit the downside till we are both sure that *we* could work as a couple, whilst providing some assurance to the SB that I am for real. In all that time, (as at any point in the relationship really), the SB is under no obligation whatsoever to jump into the sack with me, and can just walk away.

  403. SKitty says:

    Crap I knew I forgot something. I know this is a numbers game and that things are not going to happen overnight but I am wondering what the numbers are.

    SBs – How many replies to do you get on average from your pms to SDs?

    SDs- How many real (it appears they actually read your profile) PMs do you get from SB’s?

  404. SKitty says:

    So many posts… I am going cross-eyed. So here I go…

    Re: V-Day – In my world there is nothing wrong with the day in general. It is the people that think that is the ONLY day they need to express their affection for the people in their lives that are “ruining” it. I would rather the person take time to express their affection for no reason in addition to a simple “Happy V-Day” when compared to going all out for just that day.

    Re: Per Meet Allowance – There was a SD profile I saw that addressed the issue of a monthly allowance being broken down into weekly meet amounts. This seems much simpler to my brain. Yes it is nice for the SB for budgeting purposes to know how much sugar is coming her way and when. However for me this ties to the idea of not being totally dependent on your SD. I see the sugar as icing on my life rather than a means to support myself. If he has an off month or family obligations occur and he is short on sugar or can not meet as often that is fine. Life happens part of being an SB is to be understanding and not use these occasions for drama.

    Re: Bratty/entitled kids – I grew up the only child and only grandchild of people who were never supposed to be able to have kids (both mom and grandma) so needless to say I was spoiled. However at a very young age I was taught that if I did not show appreciation for the things that I got they would be taken away. Only took one time of having a toy taken away and returned to the store because I did not show my appreciation for me to learn that.

  405. DaddyGT says:

    aww shucks. I think I might have broken the blog by forgetting to close a blockquote. Here’s hoping this fixes it.

  406. Va Gentleman says:

    @SouthernCharmSB

    Everybody seems to be looking for a better deal it seems–or just maybe a different deal ?

    RE: monogamy and your new pot SD , the concept of multi**ing generically might be OK with your pot until he gets to know you and decides he doesn’t want to share. So what he wants now might be entirely different in 3 months . Also , have you and your SD discussed monogamy recently or was it a concept early on in the relatonship ? I would advise that you talk to him about your plan to take on another SD .

    If I discovered my SB had another SD I would be done immediately . If you saw my angst laced posts several months ago I was upset with my SB’s reactivation of her profile after many months of hiding it . She had her reasons and now it is hidden again but IMHO there is only one reason to reactivate –to find another SD . And that is what you are doing . Are you not happy with your SD ? Or are you looking for more allowance ? What is it that motivated you to start looking again .

  407. DaddyGT says:

    @ContentSB

    Although I agree with everything he said, a small part of me feels for the girl because I don’t think he intended for the video to go viral.

    I have to agree with this part. It is a shame it went viral, but maybe this is a good thing if other teens see just how much up the wall you can drive your parents if you are ungrateful.

    There’s another Youtube that went viral a little while ago. I think if you Google “most ungrateful teenager” you will find it. Her parents bought her a Lexus coupe for her birthday, and this girl went totally mental. She was not happy. Not happy at all. Hahaha.

    One of the things my parents were keen to instil in us kids, was never to take anything for granted. To be forever grateful for any bounties that come our way. I have kept that up, and hope I can instill those values in any kids I have with someone who shares those values too. Visits to poorer relatives, or really poor countries and the like are also helpful in keeping things in perspective.

    The problem though, is that many people (both male and female), get to become adults without such a perspective on life! *sigh*

    @babydoll

    he is not a gazillionnaire like most Sd’s he is a normal hardworking guy who has a good job in town but is happy to give me all he can.

    I think the sugar bowl attracts all sorts. I would postulate that most SDs fall into the category you just outlined. Hard working men who have an entertainment budget that stretches a bit more than Joe Average. Even a millionaire might not have a post tax income large enough to spend $60k pa on an allowance, plus at least that in other entertainment and gifts.

    I think this is where ‘managing expectations’ comes in. I recall a discussion here where someone suggested that a man who was not able to give a $5k allowance should not even be sugar dating!! Chuckling quietly, it made me wonder how someone could ever have become an adult with an attitude like that. A lot of SBs are happy with an allowance far less than that, and a lot more men are able to afford an allowance far less than that, than can afford $10k plus allowances.

    I recall too, a rant in one of the papers (NYT?) by a woman who was enraged that her fiance had broken up his engagement with her when he discovered that she had managed to rack up $100k+ in debt. Her take was that he could afford it, so should pay off those debts when they married. My take was that marrying a person with that attitude is just a recipe for disaster.

    Another interesting rant was from a woman who wrote in another blog, that she would never date any man that made less than $500k, because that’s the least he needed to earn to support the lifestyle *she* wanted. She wants that lifestyle, but is not willing to work for it! Mmm. And no, dating or marrying someone is not work. If you think it is, there’s a problem right there.

    This is where I think sentiments like “a sense of entitlement” start getting bandied about. This has been discussed ad nauseum, but SDinLA’s summary on euphemisms that scream out “entitlement issues” does ring true. When you have been around the block a few times, you start to recognise this pattern in dates. And it is not just in the sugar bowl too, although I do think the bowl in general, and sites like this one in particular do bring out those sorts of individual in droves.

    Related to that, I find it interesting how some SBs join the site, with “full of bravado” profiles like that, and when you run into their profile again a few months down the line, you find it has a decidedly more mature and realistic tone.

    Ultimately though, the sugar bowl, like any other dating, is about like minded individuals meeting. Some men will happily pay $10k for any arm candy. Some SBs are happy with a more modest allowance with someone they click with. Some profiles too, indicate that they are not after an allowance, just an entry to more upmarket social circles.

    To each their own I suppose, and all we can do, is that both the SDs here, and the SBs here find what they are looking for.

  408. Va Gentleman says:

    @ Meg

    ” I’m really sort of curious –for all of the SDs who do P4P…
    How many ‘potential SBs’ did you have one-off or 2-3-off physical encounters with before you found your SB? ”

    The short answer is one . PTP works for me for three reasons .
    1) The cash flow works better for my business .
    2) The secondary answer could be a quick bail out if the chemistry isn’t there .
    3) The third answer is it ties allowance to performance

    Let’s examine these more closely because I know many of you are totally throwing a fit as you read this .
    I know the mentality of Sugar dating is to develop a relationship first based on trust that each party will fulfil their side of the deal–much like IRL with a kick (the allowance ) But here’s how PTP can work for you .

    1) Cash Flow advantage. My SB and I were inexperienced in Sugar Dating and were actually on another site 1st . There was no instruction book like there is on SA , so she agreed to meet me for a fee and I agreed to pay that fee in return for –ahem –shall I say –certain privileges . We met –fireworks went off and we agreed that we both wanted to continue to see each other at least twice/week . She never asked for a steady allowance and I never thought to offer it since cash flow works well week to week .

    For SBs the message is that you need to consider your SD’s ability to pay based on his unique circumstance. He might not want to tell you that he can’t afford $3000 once/month ,but can do $ 800 4X/Mo . I realize everyone wants a Billionaire with an unlimited budget ,but it isn’t going to happen very often .

    2) Quick exit —This has negative connotations but the reality is that a couple never knows how they are going to get along until they spend some time together . SBs want an allowance and SBs want sex–err relationship. PTP allows flexibility until you are sure that you want to make a longer term commitment .

    The message here is that “escort” connotations are only in your mind , and that this is a technique thast can work for both parties until you determine what you will do together . Certainly the cash and dash possibility is there ,but you need to screen out the cheapo Johns who just want a quick performance .

    3) Performance

    One thing that can upset any relationship –and Sugar is no different –is inequity in performance .

    Let’s say that you have agreed to see a SD 2 times/week for $3000/ month allowance . And he only pays you $2000 one month because his business was off . That is his tough luck and he should honor his obligation –right ? At the same time you agreed to see him 8X/month and you could only manage 5 times due to exam conflicts or family obligations . That’s not fair to him but some things are unavoidable . Let’s also say that you will make up those lost days –but he can’t do it because he is married and can’t get away in such a concentrated fashion . The PTP solution is perfect because it covers those eventualities . Nobody is frustrated because they are getting what they contracted for .

    This involves trust in your SD/SB. I know you may rely on that set allowance every month . We handle it by having make-up weeks . Some weeks I can only see my SB once , and others 3 times . Fortunately for me she is always available for me and we can make it up .

    Finally , You shouldn’t rely on Sugar to make ends meet. If you are that desperately in need then you will be vulnerable and totally dependant on your SD . Hopefully you have family help , scholarships , and a job that will take care of basics .

  409. bugaboo4u says:

    It’s amazing that people are so willing to help :)
    Thanks
    With that said, my profile number is 839092

    @DaddyGT – I think I am looking for a connection with a little more depth….It seems to be winks and requests for private photos that end up in my inbox. I do realize that since I have updated my profile, it sounds more flirtatious than before but I am hoping my personal desires will perhaps incite more personal responses. I would like to say also, that I am fairly proactive in my approach as well, reaching out when I see a profile that I find intriguing….Although if I do hear back, its often to say that they were looking for someone local, which is reasonable.

    I’m looking forward to some helpful tips :)
    Thanks in advance

  410. ContentSB says:

    @DaddyGT — I saw that video and had to cringe because it took me right back to high school! If my parents had given me a laptop before graduation, and owned a gun, something like that would have been right up their alley lol. Although I agree with everything he said, a small part of me feels for the girl because I don’t think he intended for the video to go viral. In his mind I think he expected it to only be seen by the people on her FB. Teenagers can be stupid, get irrationally angry, and go off on ridiculous rants that hold no truth once their emotions level out. I think that’s what her post was, albeit extremely disrespectful. However, I can’t imagine her father wanted to embarrass her by subjecting her to the criticism of millions of people. I think most people would be absolutely mortified if millions of people heard some of their teenage angst rants.

  411. babydoll says:

    ekkk cant keep up with the blog!!!

    Re having nannies to look after kids~ well we lal have different takes and differentlifestyles to be able to say having a nanny /au-pair/babysitter is bad or good for the kids…

    i was brought up a catholic girl,went to a convent school,have a fab family background,adorable son who is at uni (got pregnant becasue of ignrance if anything else) and now i live and work in London.
    But none of these was influenced because both my parents are business people who has to travel a lot AND was brought up by nanny from 2yrs old until i was 13!!!!
    and inspite of being a teenage mom,my mother wont let me not go back to school and finish my BSC Management course and went off studying BSC in Interior Design as well.
    so,fellow Sugars i think our fates are destined unfortunately by our destiny,it is shaped by where we are,society in general and how we decide to g about our future,but even then however we may plan our lives it still doesnt quite go as we think it should most times.

    nothing to do with the invaluable help that a nanny,sitter/au-pair would have a hand on.
    i know of people who has dysfunctional family lives who has kids who are brilliant,self sufficient and independent kids who turn out very successful.
    on the ther hand,i know of people who are suceesful and brilliant parents and has teriible mannered kids,drug addicted,mixing with wrong crowd and are way too disoriented inspit of all the help they have like nanny/chauffeur/chef etct etc!

    @SDGuru~ well still celebrating Valentines day,just got back from lunch with Sd at Soho in between his client meeting :) lol
    My v week started last saturday,lunch at Southken,vday was going to be enrolled for my course as part of my vday gift! a rose and lunch at viet resto.got home to a surprise package from him through the post hehe and got several cards from anonymous which where not from SD!
    and will end he week tomorrow spending the weekend with him in between his work!
    i got a very busy Sd that makes it more special as he still made sure this week is spent making me happy!!!

    @DianaSBinOC~ just to clarify, my Sd give me allowance,aside from gifts material or financial.
    he made sure this is clear so no one is left feeling upset.the only changes we think will happen in future is how to give the allowance at the moment we split it in 2 occasions a month and he would always tell me when.but maybe soon we will have it just in one occcasion and he said it may be a bit more than what he gives me now.
    I have an allowance which is not trillions haha!!! financial/material gifts (given when we meet),plus he spends on our travel,day/nights out so i think comes up to a bulk actually when all his expenses on me are put together.and also,he is not a gazillionnaire like most Sd’s he is a normal hardworking guy who has a good job in town but is happy to give me all he can,that is more imporant to me tnah anything else 😉

    to all lovely Sb’s still looking for the right Sd~ when i first signed up last summer i was lucky not to wait long for the right Sd (that fits what i wanted) , but i told myself that if ever i was going to have to wait,i wnated to give myself 6-12 months to wait and look around as i was not in a hurry to have one inspite of the financial problems i have as i have a job anyway,if anything an Sd would just help speed up the process of what i was aiming for with regards to certain payments i had to do and some that i might fall short on.
    So i think it will depend on your circumstances as well for how long you are willing to wait for the ‘right’ Sd specially if some feel a bit uncomfortable to be ing ‘escorty’ to get into P4P.
    Some of us who are in our 30’s we normally have jobs and just need some help.
    while there are those who need a lot of help.
    and sometimes decisions will be a bit difficult if there are personal issues involved,like values and such.
    i have just noticed that in america the allowance hat is being asked range from 3k-gazillion $$$$$
    seriously i dont mean to offend anyone this is in generaliztion of what i understand is the normal allowance that is expected there.but how many men would be willing to pay for that?you girls have made it there if your men out there would give 5k and above per month in allowance!!! maybe because you have more men there who are a bit relaxed on spending money? and a lot of millionnaires who are Sd’s? if he was a millionnaire and financing a wife and kids and a mansion,and have to pay maintenance as well to an Sb of lets say $6k a month plus expenses omg that is a lot of money (!) i hope there are more London Sd’s like that though xxxx

  412. Michael Alleycat says:

    @SD Guru – So why is the horse trainer back on, and what happened to the on again off again drama SB??
    On-again off-again drama SB has ended – too much drama. “I had such a stressful day – someone backed into my car and SO damaged it!!” I looked – small dent (size of a quarter) in the fender. Really? Plus it’s been 14 months, so that’s long enough. Even toe-tingling, lip-numbing, mind-twisting sex cannot compensate for all the drama. Well, maybe. Ask me again in a week lol.

    Horse trainer lives 3+ hours away so it is a very intermittent thing, but she is a bit off-hand about things for me to get too excited.

  413. Midwest SB says:

    DaddyGT – I did see that. Overall, it’s the right message, but in my opinion Dad is part of the problem. To teach respect, you should model respect. His comments were not delivered respectfully. I posted a paragraph on my FB about it. Ultimately, I think computers need to remain in a public area until kids are adults. There are too many things that can go wrong.

  414. DaddyGT says:

    @MidwestSB

    If we look back at how well he has treated us throughout the year…at how hard he works to provide for us…at how he treats our children…etc., etc. then the value of one little commercial holiday does tend to drop dramatically.

    Your wisdom never ceases to amaze me. You nailed the gist of what I was trying to say.

    I used to be a really shit boyfriend. But I was great with OTT gestures (its only money right?). I think as I aged though, that got very tiring rather quickly. Now, I’d rather be a better all rounder, than a one hit (Feb 14) wonder.

    Thus my rant. If after everything else in the relationship, and my displays of affection, that ONE day remains so important, there is clearly a problem. And so now, I’ll use that as an additional filter. While I previously went through the motions, now, I am actively refusing to participate.

    Regarding your son and the XBox, have you seen the Youtube video of the dad who shoots his daughter’s laptop with his pistol after she mouthed off on Facebook? I thought it was hilarious. :-) Waiting for the SD version with Louboutins instead though. Hahaha

  415. Nwsugarbaby says:

    @SDinLA’s horse
    You got some typing talent with those big hooves seems like I owe you a carrot or apple for the tips about the old saying. I have to admit its a new one for me. I hope Mr. Ed doesn’t make you feel too inadequate and if it helps you feel better he has passed on to that glue factory. The glue factories are closed in the U.S for now though there is talk of changing that.
    I would all that comes straight out of your mouth. Maybe SDinLA has a conversation planned with you before his associates get there. Talk about a good way to close a deal, have a discussion, etc when he has a talking horse who is clearly biased to the person who buys his hay and grain.

    I’ll get back to your own during my lunch today.

  416. DaddyGT says:

    @Dutch Girl In London
    Hey, don’t worry about your spelling. It is much better than many rather lazy native speakers. :-)

    Now the big question is: Did you get to play with the lion cubs?

    Yeah, I did get to walk with the lions again. The weather turned rather suddenly though, and with heavy rain coming, my visit to the lions was cut a bit short. Hoping to go up there again soon though.

    @bugaboo4u
    Welcome to the blog. You will find many experienced minds (both SBs and SDs) to pick.

    That said, I think if you will get far more constructive answers if you are more specific in your question.

    Where is the ‘sticking’ problem? Are you happy with the quantity/quality of responses you are getting? Indeed, are you being proactive in contacting SDs/SMs you think would be right for you? Are you having trouble transitioning from emails to phone to meeting? Are you wasting too much time swapping photos with collectors? Etc etc

    As you can see, there are potentially many areas to cover that a more specific question will be more helpful.

    And oh yeah, if you want feedback here from the more experienced gurus, feel free to post your profile number for comment.

  417. Midwest SB says:

    Good morning sugars!!!!

    Diana / Meg – Ladies…it seems we are overlooking one very important factor in this p4p conversation. It is ultimately up to the woman to engage in intimacy. If she chooses to do this because she is attracted to him, then so be it. If she chooses to do so to obtain an allowance, then she is gambling. If she chooses to wait, then she also gambles on losing the allowance. It’s the proverbial carrot. The woman has to be smart about her choices and not compromise her personal values (which may vary greatly from one sb to another). I have had in-depth conversations with Guru and a few others about P4P as I am typically strongly opposed to it. It is far less mutually beneficial to the sb. In very few cases, it does seem to work. Still, it is truly up to the woman to decide how she is going to move forward in an arrangement. I’ve never slept with anyone where we hadn’t agreed to an allowance, terms of the arrangement, etc., nor will I. Then again, I’m willing to walk away and do not depend on sugar.

    bugaboo4u – If you provide a profile number either in the website section or in a comment, I’m sure you will get plenty of feedback.

    LASB – Heyyyyyyy Sugar! We have got to meet up soon! When are you coming to Chitown again??

    Beach Girl – Hey kitten…purrrrrrrrrr

    DaddyGT and DorkyGuy – You both have wonderful views of showing how you care for those you love! I’m not big on the commercialism of the holidays. Personally, I think it’s gotten way out of control. Why does my son need a $400 xbox when he gets so much year round? (I did get it for ALL of us). Why do I need a dozen roses on a particular day? It’s just not necessary…but it IS nice. I tend to view it this way…many men have a difficult time remembering wedding anniversaries and birthdays, much less holidays like Sweetheart’s Day and Valentine’s Day. We can be a little forgiving or even be a little flirtatious and remind him it’s coming up. If we look back at how well he has treated us throughout the year…at how hard he works to provide for us…at how he treats our children…etc., etc. then the value of one little commercial holiday does tend to drop dramatically.

  418. NC Gent says:

    Bugaboo4u — if you provide us with your profile number, we will be glad to provide some comments. It can take 6 months to a year to find a good SD, so if you are getting messages, that is at least a good sign.

    Blog gods — still looking for LASBs email — if anyone else here who knows me has her email address, that would be great if you could send it. Thanks!

  419. Dutch Girl In London says:

    @DaddyGT I can’t believe I mis-spelled ‘honorary’ :(

    I stand corrected: I don’t think that the English education system values foreign languages. In the Netherlands, English, French and German is taught from a very young age and the vast majority of Dutch people can speak at least 2-3 languages fluently.

    I have been at dinner parties where there were 14 nationalities and about 20 different languages spoken – this is why I love London!

    Now the big question is: Did you get to play with the lion cubs?

  420. bugaboo4u says:

    Good morning everyone :)

    I hope that this Friday finds you all well!
    This will be the first time I have posted on the blog….but in doing so, I am hoping to possibly receive some profile feedback.
    I created my profile back in December and have been very happy with the way this site is run. However, despite having a large number of SD/SM, I am still having a difficult time connecting with anyone.
    As of yesterday I tweaked my profile, hoping that may make a difference. Previously I had written a brief outline of where I am in my life (including educational & career goals) and what I am looking for. My current approach is a little more provocative, touching briefly on my interests and goals….
    I am 28 and would consider myself well spoken, caring and fun. I have always dated older, often successful men and am no stranger to this lifestyle. I’m just not sure what aspect of my profile is potentially hindering me.
    I encourage and would love any insight….

    In the meantime, I hope everyone has a great day :)

  421. DaddyGT says:

    Awww shucks. 😳 Blushing profusely. Happy to be an honorary SB when I eventually get myself back up to London. 😳

    I don’t think speaking foreign languages is seen as being particularly valuable in the UK which is a great shame.

    I think the attitude towards foreign languages is going to depend very much of where you are, and whom you’re with. Most of the *ahem* ‘right sort of circles’ are going to be very multi lingual. And London really is a cosmopolitan city. I can’t recall the last time I ever went to a house or dinner party where there were fewer than 4 different languages spoken, mixed into heavily accented English! So sexy that.

  422. Dutch Girl In London says:

    @DaddyGt You do realise that if you ever do come to London, you have to come to our London SB meet-up! You can be our honoury SB! I do warn that ER can be a bit touchy/feely (Hi ER) and Babydoll has a very infectious laugh.

    I don’t think speaking foreign languages is seen as being particularly valuable in the UK which is a great shame.

  423. DaddyGT says:

    @Dutch

    I taught the boys a little bit of English, German and Dutch and I improved my French dramatically.

    And this is another benefit that is often overlooked regarding au-pairs … the cultural immersion in your family.

    Some friends of mine in London have an interesting family. He’s from Portugal. She’s from Macedonia. They’ve always had French au-pairs. Between the au-pairs, and holidays spent with their grand parents, their two kids speak fluent English, Portuguese, Macedonian, and French!!

    Now there’s a family I’m jealous of :-)

  424. Dutch Girl says:

    @DaddyGT It is warming up here in London – I am a bit peeved as I like playing in the snow! However, walking in snow in a pencil skirt with high heels can prove a bit problematic!

    I am glad to hear our memories are quite similar although from a different perspective.
    I completely get your point of how the au pair has to be a person you trust implicitedly. However, that is not always the same attitude that all parents take and I do think that is the height of sheer stupidity.

    For myself, it was a very positive experience, a great adventure and as I was a small bouncing ball of energy (still am) I provided entertainment, guidance and loving care for those two kids for a long summer. I got to play with horses and kids for a blissful period of 7 weeks – I taught the boys a little bit of English, German and Dutch and I improved my French dramatically. It was a win-win situation for everyone. I even tasted my first sip of wine there.

  425. DaddyGT says:

    Hi Dutch. How’s the cold spell in London treating you fine London SBs?

    Your experience is not too dissimilar to mine, but from the other perspective. My parents was always at pains to emphasise that the people working for us, were not just an integral part of the family, but that they were helping us. We sat for meals together, travelled together, went on holiday together (sometimes), and all that.

    If anyone was ever rude to the nanny, there would be hell to pay. We still had chores. We said thank you. If I needed something done, I had to ask. “She’s your big sister!” my mother always reminded us.

    The only difference is that we knew they might not be with us forever. That said my cousins had a nanny who was with their family for close to 20 years!!

    Like everything in life, experiences will differ from one person to the next. Some people are just bad bosses, and will treat their employees like dirt. Even today, I am astounded by the number of adult men (and women) that are rude to waiters, and other service providers.

    To bring it closer to home, in the same way that a SB can have a substantive relationship with her SD, despite the exchange of $$, so too can a hired au-pair or nanny be an integral part of the family. And if you are going to trust your kids to anyone’s care, they had better be a person you trust explicitly. And really, how do you expect them to treat your kids better than you treat them.

  426. SouthernGent2 says:

    SouthernCharmSB – I wish I could say that I am the potential that you are intrigued by his messages. You know I am already intrigued by you 😉

    SDinLA said it well. But even if exclusivity is not an issue for your current sd, you need to be a bit careful. Some guys my think you are asking for permission to see someone else. Like you found someone better. So tread carefully with the male ego on this one.

    That being said, honesty is the best policy. I know I appreciated the honesty of someone else I met last year. She told me that she was already seeing a guy twice a month. It made her much more attractive to me that she told me her situation. By comparison, there was someone else that I know was sneaking around and seeing others, and her lying ways and seeing how I could not trust her to be honest got her kicked to the curb before things got started.

    Might not have totally given you an answer. You have to know your current guy well and how he might react (even if he says exclusivity is not an issue). Be honest but tread carefully.

  427. Dutch Girl In London says:

    Jenniebug When I was 15, I was a Summer au pair for two boys in France. I was like their older sister, teaching them how to swim in the swimming pool, go horse riding in the forest, cooking meals and general taking care of them whilst their parents were at work.

    All three of us as adults have very fond memories of that summer. For me, it was an amazing experience living the Provence lifestyle and they had an older sister (sister they never had) who they could play rough-and-tumble with throughout the entire summer.

    I was part of that family, we’re still in touch and I never felt like an employee nor was I mis-treated, I treasure those memories and so do those two men.

  428. DaddyGT says:

    @SDinLA

    Dude, you kill me. I really liked your “entitlement” euphemism summary earlier, and I dig your equaly opportunity assessment of the babysitter/nanny/housekeeper/au pairs. Legend!

    @Jenniebug
    I have to totally disagree with you. I was raised largely by nannies because both my parents, loving as they were, were busy setting up and running their own businesses. Throughout my youth, there was always at least one live in nanny/au-pair, supplemented with additional help as required. Still got to spend a lot of time with my parents though. And I never felt unloved. It could have been worse, I could have been shipped off to boarding school, like a lot of people I know were!!

    Children need stability, love, attention and yes, freedom. A helicopter mother is in no way any better than a well oiled machine of ‘hired help’.

    When I start a family, I would personally be far more worried with a wife who wanted to pack in her career/professional life to play nanny, than one who wanted to hire 2 or 3 nannies to help with the kids.

    But then again, I am really turned on by ambitious, ball busting, successful (or en route to success) women.

  429. DaddyGT says:

    @DianaSBinOC

    “I’m curious to know myself how many sbs an SD goes through before finding one he feels is “eligible” for the allowance:) I think 5 is a really low number It’s possibly much much higher than that. “

    I think this it is the wrong way of looking at it. I will assume here that we are talking about genuine SDs. I think the truth is, whether you are a SB or SD, you need to be prepared to go through a few potentials before finding the one that is right for you.

    So it is far less about thinking she is eligible for the allowance, and more about finding the one (or many) person you think is compatible with you and fits the bill for what you are looking for. Complicating all this, is the need for that compatibility to be mutual. I am sure there are a few cases of one person thinking “perfect”, and the other person thinking “never”, on both sides of the gender divide.

    Plus, sex is important. Sexual attraction is a given (I would hope) for people seeing each other, even for a date. That said, sexual compatibility is just as important too. And while we might not admit this in polite society, I am sure there are many men and women who have broken up with someone because sex with them just wasn’t that great!

    So, it is entirely possible that although everything was going great with someone, as a couple, you just did not click in the sack. It probably takes a few tries to see if there genuinely is nothing there, but these things happen sometimes. But yes, for many people (male and female), sexual compatibility is just as important as everything else.

    And unfortunately, until you have actually been in the sack with someone, you’ll never know. I knew a girl once who exuded so much sex appeal when she walked around, she was a real living Jessica Rabbit. But in bed? She was a total damp squid. *sigh* Which is where accusations of using people start flying when you walk away.

    I saw a sig on a profile once. Said something like “The road to true love is paved with promiscuity.” I agree!. And as long as you are adult, honest and open about it, fewer feelings will get hurt.

    But again, discussing sexual preferences with a potential lover, (over dinner?) is something that you will rarely find outside most fetish communities. Again, *sigh*, since I don’t think such honesty is as prevalent in the sugar community as it should be, or as one might think just by taking a cursory glance into the bowl.

  430. DaddyGT says:

    @DianaSBinOC & @Dorky

    Looks like I started off a shitstorm with my anti-Valentine’s day post. I’ll qualify.

    First off Diana, I am not that old. I was a very late starter (going to an all boys’ private school certainly did not help matters), and did not start dating till I got to university. Throw in my 3 year ‘sabbatical’, and I have much less than 20 years worth of Valentine’s experience.

    At one point in my life, I used to got OTT with the whole Valentine’s day thing, only because I was caught up in the societal wave of great expectations for the day.

    The more I think about it though, the more I realise that what matters to me, is chronologically unique to each SB+Me. I send flowers all the time to those closest and dearest to me. New job? You’ll probably get flowers delivered to your office. Anniversary? Ditto. Great results for an exam you worked hard for? Maybe you flunked a test you were really worrying about. Your birthday? Your Saints day (had a Polish GF once, and this was a big deal for her)? Sometimes, just because!

    I would be much much more impressed and touched by a SB “laying in nothing but rose petals or playing liquid chocolate games throughout the night” on any day but Feb 14. The one says something about us, the other says she is trying to live up to the day. Far less interesting for me.

    In short, I want to celebrate days that are truly meaningful to you, personally. Group holidays like Valentine’s day don’t do it for me. I suppose, yes, in my ideal life, every day is Valentine’s day, and unless there is something SPECIFIC and special to you that happens to coincide with Feb 14, then count me out.

    At the risk of sounding even more Bah Humbug than I already probably do, there’s more. I have never been into the Christmas thing either. And now, as an avowed atheist, far less so. So no, I am not big on giving or receiving Christmas presents either. That said, there are many other genuine occasions for giving presents, and to me these are totally more meaningful than doing it on cue for Christmas. I do love watching people running around like headless chickens trying to get their Christmas shopping done. Hilarious.

    Particularly at DorkyGuy. My anti-Valentine’s day rant is less about feeling exploited, and more about the meaninglessness of the day. Rather than marking the day on the calendar (and indeed having a florist call me a week before to get names and addresses every year, like I had at one point), I think there are better ways to build anticipation. Surprises, are great. Little things like 100-day anniversaries, or the birthday of your favourite author, are not immediately obvious just by looking at the calendar, but more meaningful to me, and ideally to anyone I am with.

    I guess I am now more interested in gestures that are very meaningful to me, and the person concerned, than with mechanically ticking off Feb 14 on the calendar.

    But then again, I am probably definitely not the typical SD, so I totally understand if my experience and stance will not be to everyone’s taste.

  431. DianaSBinOC says:

    @ meg — This is a great topic! I’m curious to know myself how many sbs an SD goes through before finding one he feels is “eligible” for the allowance:) I think 5 is a really low number It’s possibly much much higher than that.

    @DorkyGuy:) XOXOXOX!! Perfect! I felt all squishy and sweet inside just reading it:) You so get it!!!:) I wish I could put hearts up but haven’t figured out emoticons on here yet.

    @Nwsugarbaby I agree they are worth the wait:) ***pouts** ooh no! I can’t pout someone may think I’m acting “entitled” lol Sorry couldn’t help but tease. Don’t get mad please, just a joke.:)

    Sugary Weekend to all:) I need to stop staying up so late. Good Night:)

  432. LASB says:

    Ok, I guess I’m not the only West Coast insomniac.

    SDinLA – Are there good chocolatiers being represented in Vegas? If so, what do you recommend? Which is your favorite chocolate in the world? I recently cut back on wine which incidentally made me cut back on chocolate, but I still need my fix from time to time.

  433. SDinLA says:

    @Nwsugarbaby Godiva and Ghirardelli are OK. I may have to organize a chocolate tasting on the Vegas outing to introduce you to REALLY exquisite chocolate, either from some of Europe’s finest confectioners or handmade.

    No chocolate covered cherries though, those are almost as nasty as marshmallow Peeps.

    @SouthernCharmSB If he doesn’t bring it up, I would ask him what his expectations are vis a vis exclusivity before it got too far along. If he’s not expecting it of you, he won’t be fazed that you already have a SD, and if he is, I think it’s best to be honest lest you end up doing to him what PhoneGuy’s SB did to him.

    It was always an expectation of mine, but actually every one of the young ladies who became one of my long term SBs brought it up before I did and wanted it as well. Unlike DaddyGT, I’ve always been a serial monogamist.

  434. LASB says:

    SDinLA – Hello and thanks for the intro! I wasn’t motivated enough to write all that. I’ve never watched the Jersey Shore, but if you mean insanity then yay. There’s already too much to read on here as it is! (Like au pair definitions and such. (?))

    DianaSBinOC – Since we’re practically neighbors, if you ever want to compare notes, feel free to get my email from Guru.

    DorkyGuy – I like your attitude towards holidays! It’s very sugary sweet!

    Beach!!! – How’s business?! What have you been up to? How’s sugar? Yes I owe you an email. The trip story will be posted shortly (probably on Guru’s blog.) Stay tuned.

  435. SDinLA's horse says:

    @Nwsugarbaby “off to see a man about a horse/dog” is an old saying that means, “Sorry, I am about to depart and would really rather not say where I am going.”

    SDinLA was really not going to see a man about a horse, at least not THIS horse. Although I have seen the bloke from the glue factory hanging about the stables recently. *gulp*

    I believe in the past he has been involved in many aspects of the equine field, from owning/breeding thoroughbred race horses, to competing in equestrian sports of various sorts.

    These days, he just keep me around so that when I tell him something he can say to his associates with a straight face, “This is straight from the horse’s mouth!”

    It’s not a bad existence, although the “Mr. Ed the talking horse” jokes get quite old. And of course it’s bloody impossible to get on his laptop with all of the roommates and house guests wanting to go online, not to mention that damnable yappy mutt and his internet doggie porn obsession. If only he’d put a WiFi base station in the stables, or get me that smart phone I’ve been wanting.

    @DorkyFellow I have been instructed to inform you that regardless of his having a man crush on you and your eloquent treatise on the joys of Valentine’s Day, do not expect any bonsai trees from SDinLA next February 14th.

    Right, that’s it from me, I’m off to see a man about a dog…

  436. Nwsugarbaby says:

    @SDinLA Horse (trainer) reminds me so much of how I’d rather be riding than “studying”/blogging. Do you race them, show them, or just have them?

    @Meg “And do realize — SDs on this blog — you are really better than most.”
    I agree that the guys on this blog treat their SBs well and even show their Pot SBs the utmost respect. Godiva chocolate is orgasmic same with the ghiradelli.

    @DianaSBinOC
    I really like your comment about how the good allowance daddies are hard to come by, but in the long run seem well worth the wait.

    May the weekend bring sugar for everyone :)

  437. CandyCoated says:

    Sugar Family,

    I would like to know if there are any SBs in Santa Barbara – I’m coming down next weekend and I’d love to have some contacts to talk to in case anything goes sour with this pot SD. Please please let me know if you’re out there!

    =)

  438. SouthernCharmSB says:

    Hi there sugars! :) Loooong day and completely exhausted, but I wanted to sneak in for some quick blog time at this late hour. On a happy note, I totally aced my test today! Yay! :)

    I had something interesting happen in the last few days and am interested in getting your feedback. My profile had been on hidden-mode since I entered my current arrangement (my choice to hide it as my SD does not require exclusivity) and a few days ago I decided to unhide it just for kicks. Since then I have received several e-mails from pots, but one definitely stood out more than the others. I have been exchanging e-mails with this pot and we seem to have a lot in common. We have not discussed the topic of exclusivity and his profile does not necessarily specify whether this is of importance to him. At this point, we are looking at the possibility of meeting, but I’m wondering whether I should be the one to bring up that I am currently in an arrangement…and, if so, should I bring this up before the meeting? I generally do not get involved with more than one SD at a time, but something about this pot is intriguing….I can’t quite pinpoint what it is yet, but I am definitely curious. For those sugars that have been involved with more than one SD or SB, is there any advice you can give me before I start to tread on unknown territory? Thanks in advance! xoxo

  439. DorkyGuy says:

    I am going to use one of my blog posts to say this. Maybe even the seasoned SDs (looking at you DaddyGT!) can learn something!

    I absolutely love Valentines Day. I love birthdays. I love Christmas, Easter, and every other holiday you can imagine. I give generously to the people I care about on these days, and I don’t care if I am being exploited.

    Why?

    Because I look for every excuse to show the people that I care about that “I care”. Valentine’s is beautiful festival that gives me a wonderful excuse to brighten their lives.

    Having a set annual day like Valentine’s Day gives you an opportunity to build tradition and anticipation. Use it!

    Every year, my daughters know to expect something unique and thoughtful from me. It’s never the same, and they look forward to it! This year, I gave each of my daughters a bansai tree that blooms with pink flowers and everything they need to care for it. With care, those things can live hundreds of years! With luck, when they are in their 70’s those little trees could still be a living memory of how much their dad loved them all the way back on Valentine’s Day in 2012.

    Why be a grinch about a holiday? I mean seriously, why? How do your loved ones benefit from that? Because you don’t want to feel manipulated into doing something you don’t want to do? There isn’t an advertisement in the world that could manipulate me into wanting to give, because the advertisement is too late to the party.

    By the way, the holiday provides the recipient with an easier way to remember the significance of the gift. It is so much easier for them to remember a special “Valentine’s Day” or “Christmas” than it is a random day.

    Ok, I will step down from my rose petal pulpit :)

  440. meg says:

    Sorry – the grammar there is really shitty, but you get where I’m going.

    And do realize — SDs on this blog — you are really better than most.

    Seriously, if you’re gonna shop around, call a spade a spade. You treat a bunch of women like escorts. & Then you find one woman you like & automatically assume it’s a completely different thing?

    [Meg scratches her head…& considers breaking some laws…but then realizes she has a great SD at the moment, so eats some of Tina’s Valium Godiva-chocolates & goes to bed…lol.]

  441. meg says:

    @Diana re: “An additional benefit is that if he finds he wants a different sugar baby then he can just drop his current after “one meeting” and go for another, making the 1st sugar baby feel like nothing but an escort. Not saying this is what’s happening but it could lead to something of this nature.”

    I’m really sort of curious, actually. For all of the SDs who do P4P…

    How many ‘potential SBs’ did you have one-off or 2-3-off physical encounters with before you found your SB?

    Okay, if it was more than 5 people, you basically had typical escort interactions with 5 + ‘SBs’.

    And you wonder why the sugar-bowl becomes ‘transactional’ and why all of these ‘escorts’ are running around? You’re creating that, no offense…

    Like, honestly if you’re an SB and you go through 3 or 4 guys who you go through long email exchanges with & phone conversations, who say they want an ongoing relationship…and then…they flake after screwing you and handing you 500 bucks? [or 200 or 300 or whatever?] And you couldn’t find someone attractive & under 55 to provide a decent monthly allowance?

    What would you do? Like, wouldn’t you also want to just cut to the chase and stop wasting time & energy on people you’re never going to develop a relationship with and may only end up seeing once?

  442. DianaSBinOC says:

    @Stormcat! Hi and thanks for the welcome back:) OC stands for Orange County,CA Yes we’re about an hour or so drive south from LA. Sorry to say but I don’t know OC Sugarbaby. :( I don’t know anyone on this blog personally. I’ve been reading for months but I think it bothered me a bit to see this young lady was getting such a spanking. She’s young but most SDs on here are quite up in age. So with their extensive skill set in formulating such well written and detailed responses, I probably expected a different answer to her question. The SDs are mentors in a way and even though she’s not your sb, she could have been given some fatherly/daddy advice without the whole “time out and sit in the corner” take. She was hurt that’s all it was. Felt left out or maybe she felt that the Sd was just not that in to her. She wasn’t expecting flowers to be sent just a simple “Happy Vday” which last time I checked was “free”. Why does an arrangement have to be in place just for a simple sweet comment. It’s no different than someone saying ” Thank you for calling”.

    @Phoneguy Sorry I didn’t know you weren’t married . I thought you were, my mistake. If both agreed on an exclusive sb/sd arrangement then I feel that she was wrong for both having a bf and also hiding it from you. I apologize you went through such deception but there is much more sugar out there to choose from. Hopefully you’ll find someone honest and exclusive going forward.

    @ babydoll I understand so a john to some and a sugar daddy to others. Makes sense. Your explanation was that you were in a financial bind. So taking some money was better than waiting for an allowance that didn’t present itself at the time. I get that.

    @ VA Gentleman- Ok so a relationship built on respect so I take it you’re in an open marriage then? So you and your wife respect each other enough to be honest about seeing other people then? Also you do P4P. Bf/Gf doesn’t seem to fit since if this is on open relationship, its quite one sided. You’re open but she’s not allowed to be. Plus the whole NSA part to it.

    @SDGuru – I do understand how P4P works for men. That’s why it brings to mind John & Escorts. Those professions work best for those girls due to men having a limited amount to give in full rather than shorts spurts of cash. An additional benefit is that if he finds he wants a different sugar baby then he can just drop his current after “one meeting” and go for another, making the 1st sugar baby feel like nothing but an escort. Not saying this is what’s happening but it could lead to something of this nature.

    @ NewYorkGirl I agree that many are honest about what they are looking for on the blog. It’s a great wealth of information. Now I understand that most bloggers account for less than 1% of the site’s members yet members will still come to read to get an understanding on how things work here. If the SD’s here are predominantly P4P then sbs waiting for allowances will be waiting for quite a long while.

    @MidwestSB!! Hey!! thanks for the welcome back too:) Glad to be back it’s be quite a great read for the last few months. I even added that Icallu feature but don’t think it’s going to get many users at $0.99 per min. I did read that Mr. Wade may negotiate a lower rate in the future. We shall see. Forgot to mention that I realized many of the new profiles that show up are of old JD’s on the site. They don’t want to pay the monthly membership so they sign up again and then start spamming every sb on the site. Later they leave when they’ve done enough information gathering less than a week or two later. It must be working because they do it so consistently. Not sure if they realize that they’re contacting the same sb’s.

    @SDinLA Well your experience is your own. How can anyone here feel entitled to something that isn’t there’s to begin with? I think sbs hope to be spoiled. I can’t speak for every sb of course. I don’t know what most SDs are seeking since the profiles never seem to match what is said in a message. Then again , maybe those aren’t sd’s but johns or jds.

    @DaddyGt “First off, your post does come across as being one by someone with entitlement issues. Getting upset about a holiday day (its not even a holiday) as random as Valentine’s day shows an incredible lack of maturity. Seriously. There are far more important things in my life for me to worry about than Valentine’s Day. Far more.”——-Now seriously are you expecting someone 30-40 years your junior to give up on a holiday because you’ve already experienced the joys and the down spins for 20 years? We can say celebrating Christmas and running around to buy presents could be considered a lack of maturity. Shouldn’t we be giving those we love or care about all year long? Sugar plum fairies. Ok so maybe no one is here waiting by the chimney but still. There’s always going to be more important things to do.

    “No, really. I have thought about it a lot in the last few days, and while I have sent roses on Valentine’s day before, I will *never ever* do so again. Particularly not to anyone I am intimately involved with. That’s my new resolution. Instead, I will be giving roses to random strangers on Feb 14. Never to a loved one. And if a loved one needs flowers or a message on some random day like 14 Feb to get affirmation of our relationship, we already have a problem.”——-So flowers to strangers but not the ones you spend time with or are intimate with on the 14th. So every other day you’re opening to giving flowers then? Is it the societal push or expectation that you have an axe to grind with? Or the pressure it puts on people in general?
    “Personally though, a woman who made a big deal about missing Valentine’s day clearly has a totally different value system to mine. Next!!! From what you wrote about what your mother said to you, it is probably not your fault, and just the way you were raised. Those values though, are a total anathema to me, and are not values I want in those I choose to be around. Still, Next!!”

    Now I know that post wasn’t meant for me, However do you really feel that way ? You don’t think about your sb laying in nothing but rose petals or playing liquid chocolate games throughout the night? Something extra sweet for Vday? I’m not saying you need to but why wouldn’t you want to? Since the Sugar bowl is sweet everyday , why wouldn’t this be just another day to show how much you appreciate one another?

    Starting to wonder if I have more of a fairy tale image of the Sugar Bowl. Something that’s not completely realistic. I’ll just wait and see for now

    I understand some guys don’t celebrate it but you are seeing women right.

    I need to get some of those cute emoticons:) I’m feeling left out here lol

  443. ContentSB says:

    Ok…so I’m kind of back…for now :p I know what you’re thinking…”such a drama queen…said she was leaving for awhile and she’s already back…good lord.” Funny how much clarity can be gained in a just a few days though! I needed to take a step back, but I’m quite happy with where things are at now :)

    Sounds like there’s a lot of success in the sugar world right now! TinTin, Molly, Jennie, etc are all finding great SDs! I LOVE it!

    @Midwest — Thanks for your kind words several days ago. It actually made me tear up a little lol! It’s nice to know I have people to turn to help me through my sugar lows, and be happy with me for my sugar highs :)

    Re: nannies. I was a nanny for 2 different families and LOVED it! I don’t think needing a nanny is a poor reflection on mothers at all! Both of the women I worked for were career-oriented women. One family only needed me during the summer, so i was there from 8-5 everyday. He was a farmer, and she was the director of marketing for a government agency. The other woman I nannied for was divorced, with 3 kids, and the news anchor of a local news channel. During the week she had to do the 5 and 10 o’clock news. I was there when the kids got home from school, made them dinner, helped with homework, etc., and then she came home in time to get them ready for bed and tucked the two youngest in before returning to work. I stayed up with the oldest and put her to bed eventually. I adored these kids and miss them terribly, but I never thought less of their mom for having to work. For some women, that’s a reality, and they don’t have the luxury of staying home with their kids 24/7, but that doesn’t make them bad mothers.

    • SD Guru says:

      If I could put all the banned posts from the blog into a book it would be a best seller!! But I digress… :mrgreen:

      Lost in all the drama… what I really want to know is… how did the Love Birds of the blog spend their V-Day? (Va Gent, NYGirl, Stormcat, Jennie, Dorky, Content, babydoll… did I miss anyone?) 😉

      @TinTinSB
      We’re going to San Francisco… if anyone here has some suggestions as to what to do / see, that would be great!

      You’re going to one of my favorite parts of the country! In addition to the city, I’d suggest that you spend some time in the surrounding areas. Such as Napa, Sonoma, Sausalito, Tiburon, Muir Woods, Carmel, Monterrey, and Big Sur, just to name a few.

      @DianaSBinOC
      I do understand how P4P works for men… Not saying this is what’s happening but it could lead to something of this nature.

      Yes p4p can work out the way you described and that’s why it’s not preferrable for most sugars. However p4p could work well in some cases, see previous discussions about that here. Can p4p work long term? Apparently the answer is yes based on Va Gent’s experience. Again, I don’t expect you to agree with this and p4p is not for everyone, I’m just providing another perspective.

  444. Beach_Girl says:

    SDinLA~ I am missing LaLa Land … lots… But things are going very well. Business is coming along.. How are things in your parts? 😀

  445. SDinLA says:

    @jenniebug I think you misunderstood meg. She wasn’t saying that au pairs = sex trafficking. She was saying that: in the world of child care, ranging from baby sitters to nannies to au pairs, au pairs are often treated the worst, e.g. people who hire au pairs often treat their au pairs LIKE sex traffickers treat their victims with promises of glamorous luxury lifestyles and a reality that is far from that.

    re: being flown to the East Coast by a mysterious blog SD, geez louise, I WONDER who that could be?! I don’t think we’ll EVER guess. 😉

    @Beach_Girl Greetings and salutations! *double air kiss* How are things up in chilly P.Q.? I am well, thank you.

    @Tina grouchy little monsters get spanked, just sayin…

    @NewYorkGirl “2 of your NY SBs?” I only have 2 NY blog crushes, there are no others… well unless Dorky moves to NYC.

    re: mud wrestling being declasse, that is the entire point, non? I can go to any cheap bar or strip club and see a couple of cheap, tacky, reality TV contestant types wearing bikinis and wrestling. It is the very idea of two such classy, sophisticated women of substance and pulchritude whom you would never expect to do so doing the same that is so appealing. 😉

    If your hair is in an up-do, I’ll be at the RC asap (which is probably not until breakfast time even if I head straight for the airport now. But that’s OK, breakfast in bed is one of my favourite activities.)

    P.S. Stormypoo and Dorky, you’re never going to catch up to me with the blog entourages nyah nyah nyah

  446. NewYorkGirl says:

    meet me in there SDinLA.

  447. NewYorkGirl says:

    SDinLA.
    sorry to disappoint you but we are too classy for the mug thing you mentioned. :)
    plus… 2 of your NY SBs have same hair color, same name, same age…
    May be somehow we can get along:)
    :)
    And I am out to Ritz Carltor … Meet me

  448. Tina says:

    @Anna Molly: Jell-O wrestling can be interesting too 😉

  449. Tina says:

    @meg: my deepest apologies for slacking in my emoticon duties last night, as responsibility called and wanted me at work today – 4 am comes early…….too little sleep and I’m a grouchy little monster 😉

    Ahhhh, all the wonderful opportunities I missed for emoticon additions, although I LOVE Guru’s leiderhosen! :)

  450. Beach_Girl says:

    LASB!!!! Hey girl! you owe me an email girlie… 😀
    SDinLA~ Hi! how have you been?
    AM~ good to see you 😀

    Hi to everyone!

  451. Anna Molly says:

    SDinLA – I’m not trying to argue. Hmmm, mud wrestling….that would be a first for me!! 😉

  452. jenniebug says:

    @Meg- Being a former military spouse and having a father. From another country has allowed me to see alot of diverse lifestyles. I actually have a few friends. That were AU-PAIR. I can honestly tell you that they had nothing to do with sex trafficking. One of them happened to be my fathers maid, and another happened to be my pastor’s daughter. Both of them loved the. family’s that they worked for. Both also came from clean wholsome family’s that would never allow their children to be involved with trafficking.
    Is it possible that some AU-PAIR are involved in sex trafficking? Of course. But the ones I know weren’t. If I actually worked a legitimate job as AU-PAIR, I’d be kind of offended ny that assumption.

  453. SDinLA says:

    @LASB What’s up she-of-the-similar-blog-moniker?! You picked a good time to check in, it’s been kind of Jersey Shore here lately. I came back 2 weeks ago and it’s been quite entertaining.

    For those of you who don’t know her, LASB is famous for her Bill Gates-like ex-boyfriend and for being the winner of the First Annual SDGuru SB Essay Writing Contest. Oh, and for her radiant beauty and sultry sophistication (or so I’ve heard.) 😉

    @meggers re: conflict resolution and such, the politics, backstabbing and insanity in my extended family and my ex-wife’s extended family make the Israeli/Palestinian thing look like a fight in the sandbox between two toddlers. Ergo I’ve had lots of practice. Old money families are a potent brew for “teh crazy.” Many generations of inbreeding and lots of idle time to indulge in one’s social/mood disorders are a recipe for drama.

    @Anna Molly/NewYorkGirl Awww… can’t we all just get along? I don’t want my 2 NY blog crushes to argue. Unless you want to mud wrestle. Or hot oil wrestle. Then I’m all for it. 😉

  454. Anna Molly says:

    I give up on the whole auto correct thing….I just let it happen. It’s just one of those things we have to deal with now…lol. I’m sure there is a way to turn it off, but, I can’t figure it out. The option is in an obscure folder somwhere that hasn’t been created yet.. 😀

  455. jenniebug says:

    Ok, is there any way to completely disable auto correct? My tablet came with two of them. I was able to disable the first one. I can’t seem to figure out the second one though. It seems like I can correct a post 2-3 times and it will still change the darn words on me. GRR!

  456. jenniebug says:

    HMM… After all of the things ive gotten for Valentine’s Day I think the best is yet to come. It seems that one of the sweetest SD’s on the site has offered to ship me to the east coast for a visit. Just to meet him should be an amazing experience.

    @Stormypoo- On officials changing my nickname for you. I haven’t thought of a good one yet, but it will be changed.

  457. Anna Molly says:

    Well, not divorced, but, divorcing. I’ve also hidden my profile too and have not published my profile or linked it in a while.

  458. Anna Molly says:

    I have since seperated and divorced…

  459. NewYorkGirl says:

    AnnaMolly
    You posted here your profile number, and I read your profile , it said “married” !

    and many people here asked you how ur Pots react to the that fact (if I am not mistaken ). ?
    I did not know you would react to my post this way. Yes, it is not my business. Well…
    Good night to you to.

  460. meg says:

    @Stormypoo re: “Meg ~ Are you going to let Dorky get away with the 2 1/2 thing.” – Nope. But I’ll up the ante: you win, a chinese basket sex swing. I win: a round-trip flight to Berlin :-)

    @ all re Nanny/Babysitter/Au-Pair: Got nanny & baby-sitter.

    I think Au-Pair = Child-care equivalent of sex-trafficking. Young women from E. Europe/other countries are lured into western Europe/the U.S. with promises of being ‘treated like a member of the family’ and only being required to provide ‘light childcare help…’

    What ends up happening: oddly arranged work hours (like 6 a.m.-9 a.m., 3 p.m. – 5 p.m.) so you can’t do much of anything else, and vaguely arranged terms so you end up working 60 hours a week for a room smaller than Harry Potter’s in the Dursley house hold & 300 euro/month in pocket-change.

    I actually had a better arrangement than most of my Au Pair friends, though. And I am a bit spoiled, dislike ambiguity & am pretty reclusive, so the Au-Pair thing didn’t work for me… I don’t think would have ever. But it really does work for some (I have a friend who worked in Britain & had a really great experience). It’s luck of the draw & being picky, [a bit like sugar dating] & also what country you end up in.

    Quit 2 months in and started working as a babysitter & loved getting paid 2 euro above minimum wage & by the hour…lol. Maybe that’s why I like hourly wages so much… 😉

    @ Anna Molly – I spent a good bit of time living in Germany & did Oktoberfest 2x. Send me an email (there’s a link on my blog)…would love to give you pointers :-)

    @DaddyGT – “Sex or intimacy should never be about one person using the other, or one person doing the other a favour. If both parties are not *enjoying* the sex, you have a problem. And if both parties are enjoying it, nobody is using anyone else. For everything else, there’s always the escorting option.” – Absolutely correct. Actually, little-known fact? All escorts are given clitoridectomies prior to entering the profession to ensure they don’t enjoy intercourse.

    @ SDinLA: …if I enjoyed being insulted like that maybe I’m a closet masochist pansy like Dorky. Where’s megahunnybunny to analyze my writing when I need her?: lol. Nooo…you just enjoy the opportunity to use humor to diffuse ridiculous situations of conflict. In other words, conflict situations provide you an excellent opportunity to show off your comedic skills & demonstrate your superiority (aka – not flustered by the cat-calling).

    You’re very good at it. Perhaps you should market your services to Israel & Palestine…

  461. Anna Molly says:

    NYGirl ~ Who said I had children first of all, second it’s none of your business and third my husband and I came to an agreement of which you know nothing about and he is a grown man, he can take care of himself. It’s up to me how to handle my family situation. I was married, yes, but I am now seperated and getting a divorce. I feel that I really shouldn’t have to explain myself to anyone here, but, I’m going to get this out of the way now for anyone who is wondering. Sorry NYGirl, but your comment just rubbed me the wrong way. Thank you and good night.

    xoxo,
    Anna Molly

  462. NewYorkGirl says:

    To AnnaMolly.
    I am sorry if I am nosy,
    But u r married with kids.
    Your husband knows about your SD? If not… How u r going to go to Germany?
    Who is going to take care of your child and … husband.

    Personally I like to put my son to sleep and get him ready for school in the morning .
    I do not like to stay over night with SD, and pay $ 75 to babysitter.

  463. SKitty says:

    No spam here. Perhaps they just have not gotten to me yet. That or my spam annihilation filters are working really wonderfully.

  464. EnglishRose says:

    @Babydoll
    Hello darling! I’m alive don’t worry, had a super super busy weekend. I don’t think I got any text from you? I’ll try to reply to yours & Dutch’s email’s soon but I’m going to sleep now & I probably won’t be on-line until tomorrow evening.

    RE: Au Pair/Nanny/Babysitter
    I find this a very interesting topic (any reason why it was brought up?) as I’ve actually been an Au Pair! It was a very interesting experience, and because the family I worked for were very wealthy I got to experience a lot of things like skiing, 5 star hotels and mouth watering food (we were in Italy after all).
    …It’s like the equivalent to sugar dating in PG form! 😀

    Sadly I don’t agree about Au Pairs being paid the most though. Far from it, mostly because (at least in England) a Nanny will have childcare qualifications – so while an Au Pair usually makes £90-£140 a week a Nanny can get anywhere between £250-£500 a week.

    But, I do agree that I have seen some really poor parenting, it’s obvious I was hired just because the mother doesn’t want to deal with the “hard stuff” like discipline or consistency. The children tend to get spoiled to make up for a guilty conscience on the parent’s part (obviously this is not the case with all families!)

    But….that’s all I have to say on that, I’m super tired, Night night :)

  465. jenniebug says:

    @TinTinSB- I think several spammers have tried to hit me. I krep getting random emails saying ive been favorited. When I click on the link, it takes me to a strange site. I modestly flag them.Around the time that all of the blog drama happens I started getting some strange emails asking me to join a new sugar site that was going up. I flagged those too. Boo! Spammers suck!

  466. TinTinSB says:

    Uggh, did anyone else get hit by a spammer? I’m curious because this is the only outside website that I use my .edu account for, and yet I received a random e-mail to the account from a “sugar baby” seeking a sugar daddy with an attachment, etc. I immediately flagged it and everything, but it was strange so I just wanted to see if anyone else had received something similar.

  467. SKitty says:

    Well after some car drama I didn’t get to all my errands, oh well. The car(s) are both here and running and the important stuff got done so YAY for that.

    Anna Molly – My problem is that I am on such a screwy schedule that normally I don’t get to participate in the blog, I just read the stuff ya all wrote when I was sleeping. So today I get to see the action real time and it is just… Whee!

    TinTinSB – I am with you on the no travel budget thing. There really are so many things to do that are free the idea of getting to go places that cost money would have me lost as to what to do as well. My bucket list does include the zoo out there so I would likely have to run off and do that. However I am a big zoo fan so yeah. I am strange.

  468. TinTinSB says:

    @ Anna Molly

    Sorry to leave you hanging! Although, I must say, from someone as lovely as you I’m not sure I would mind Naughty Molly getting involved 😉

    We’re going to San Francisco. I’ve only been a few times before, but never was able to actually see the city properly. I’m pretty excited. I think we’ll be busy with his stuff for a fair amount of the time, as it is a business trip, but I’m sure I’ll be able to do some persuading of wandering off and having some fun :)

    On that note, if anyone here has some suggestions as to what to do / see, that would be great! I love to travel, and so just get used to being excited about everything. I also normally don’t have any sort of budget for travel, so as silly as it sounds, I’m pretty clueless about what cool non-free things there are to do in cities, because there is so many good free stuff to check out as well!

  469. Anna Molly says:

    Guru ~ I know, that’s what I said!!! OCTOBERFEST!!!! 😀

  470. Anna Molly says:

    TinTin….or at least give some sort of hint maybe? hmmm…please? I don’t want to have to call Naughty Molly over here to take controll over this situation…LOL 😉

  471. Anna Molly says:

    TinTinSB ~ Congrats!!! Sounds like fun! Can you say where you’re going? I’m nosey and would love to know where you’re headed to!! 😀

  472. Anna Molly says:

    Thanks everyone! I have Berlin, Lubeck and Rothenburg so far. 😀

    TinTinSB ~ He is great, I’m one lucky girl! 😀

    LASB ~ Good to see you!!! How in the world can I pass up an opportunity to check out dungeon ideas!? A definite for sure on our list of things to do! Although my Sweetie may be a little apprehensive, he will have no choice.. 😉

    • SD Guru says:

      @Anna Molly
      Going to Germany in October….any help would be appreciated! What area should we go to? He is picking up his car in Munich…

      Are you kidding me?? München in October can only mean one thing… Oktoberfest!! (though technically it starts in September)

      @DianaSBinOC
      I stayed clear away from the per meet and yet even the Guru said even he’s done that before. So what does that really mean then?

      I’m of the opinion that while monthly allowance is certainly preferrable for most sugars, p4p can work well in some cases. Va Gent provided a good example of that, and other SD’s have also described workable scenarios in the past. I understand this opinion is not shared by everyone and that’s ok.

      @Michael
      the horse trainer is back on. Update your spreadsheet!

      Well that was fast! So why is the horse trainer back on, and what happened to the on again off again drama SB??

      @PhoneGuy
      I don’t know if the BF knew about me. Judging by her phone call crying saying she can’t see me anymore and him yelling in the background, I’m kinda guessing maybe he didn’t know.

      If he’s yelling in the background then chances are he found out somehow!! My first long term SB also had a bf, and that was fine with me as long as it didn’t affect what she did with me. But her relationship was much more serious than she let on and we had a messy break up because of it.

      @SDinLA
      Sorry, I should have known better than to even minimally engage. That was kind of entertaining to watch/read though.

      No problem, your sarcastic and wicked sense of humor is always welcome in the blog! A sure sign of a troll is the non stop rant accusing others of the same transgressions that the troll is guilty of.

  473. babydoll says:

    @grasshoper~i didnt see the entire thread until now===== your posts before Guru cut everyone short to see the BLog etiquette made me laugh out really loud with your comments!!! hahahaa
    and you Dorky is sooooo funny i am in tears!!!

  474. babydoll says:

    LASB~ hello :) pleasedto meet you too xxx i am a London Sugar.
    Yes,like jenniebug i have been lucky to have awonderful Sd :) so,its a week long for me too :)
    started last saturday…went to our fave tapas at Southkensington,then strolled around the museums that i love,surprised that he wanted to spend the valentines with me and offered to take me to the food and wine school i wanted to take a course on so he can pay for my tuition as part of my gift! unfortunately they didnt have a slot for me for this season :( boo! but theres still a course before the summer that the school would let me know if they have the day i can do the evening class :) hehe
    spent a lazy lunch and this weekend is the continuation of this lovely valentines week…wow
    it is a wonderful week xxx i hope you enjoyed your Valentines day in an way that is possible

    kiss from London xxx

  475. NC Gent says:

    LASB — I would love to get together :) Blog gods — can you forward me LASB’s email address pretty please!

  476. TinTinSB says:

    Forgot to add –

    @ Stormcat I loved the poem that you wrote. You have a great style, and it is very touching :)

    @ Andrea I definitely agree with what others have said about patience. I remember I joined expecting to find an SD straight away, and boy was I naive! I had a lot of interested messages, but it took me a few months to sort through and find someone who I truly liked and wanted to have an arrangement with. I would start by making your profile as wonderful as it possibly can be. This is, essentially, your marketing tool. There are plenty of tips on the blog for how to make a good profile. Be as clear as you can about what you are looking for, who you are, and how you can make the SDs life happier. Good luck in your search!

  477. LASB says:

    NC Gent – I should clarify. A strange summer in the middle of what should be winter. Anyhow, if you have time (and want to) to get a drink, get my email from Guru/Blog Gods. If not, enjoy your time out here!

    Ok, wow, the blog moves much faster these days. I can’t keep up.

  478. LASB says:

    NC Gent – Hello stranger! :) Well, dress warm! We are having a very strange summer. Perhaps it is just 6 months late. Last summer I didn’t need to turn on the AC. This winter, I am using it tons!

  479. TinTinSB says:

    Oh, it sounds like valentines has been pretty wonderful for the blog SBs!

    @jenniebug Ohh, I’m so in love with Vespas! What model / colour did you wind up with?

    @Anna Molly Your SD does sound like a total sweetheart! He sounds super generous, and how cute to be concerned about your safety like that. I don’t have much to comment on about Germany, because it isn’t a country I’ve extensively toured. However, I have heard some good things about Berlin. Rothenburg is a medieval style town that could also be very cute to visit. I’ve heard some complaints about it being too touristy, but I’ve also heard it called really romantic. Wherever you go, I’m sure you’ll have a great time!

    Re: Nannies / Babysitters / Au Pairs

    I think that everyone else covered pretty well what I feel the differences are between these three. However, I will say that I had a nanny for my early childhood, and I felt like it was a positive experience :) My mum is a truly wonderful, loving, and giving person, dedicated to her children. However, it was helpful to have another caring and trusted person around to help out, especially because my father was away on business a lot and my mum was working as well. Children are a handful to raise (it seems to me!) and I don’t think we should begrudge or look down upon those who choose to have a bit of extra help, as long as they don’t view a nanny as a substitution for an actual mother. My mum was around whenever I needed her, still took us to practice, went to my dance performances, and kissed my booboos. My nanny helped with all that I didn’t need my mother for, cooking some delicious dishes, and really helped to expand my worldview (she was from a different country.) I think that there are plenty of ways to raise a child, and as long as the child winds up a healthy, well adjusted adult, I don’t think anyone is really in a place to deem what methods are better than others. My mother had plenty of time and love to give to her children. Indeed, I feel like having another person around to help out enabled us to spend more quality time together, because she didn’t have to stress out about the details, and balancing work and raising kids quite as much.

    Re: Trips! My pot SD and I are going on a trip together! I’m really excited, this will be my first trip away with a pot, and it’s to a city I’m excited to be in. I’m feeling really comfortable about the trip. The tickets are in my own name, and I’ve made it clear (and he agrees!) that I’m not going without my first allowance in my hand first. I just want to make sure that I’m covered in case anything happens, not that I think it will because he is such the perfect gentleman. I’m so happy, and just wanted to share that with everyone. The fairytale is starting to become real!

  480. jenniebug says:

    @Midwest- you take your child to your college classes? Thats adorable! I think you win the award for that. I totally agree that takinga child to college classes exposes them to more. I would think that just sitting there and seeing all of the young adults who are studying for all of the different careers would be an inspirational experience for the child.
    @Stormypoo- I just read your poem. Awww! I’d love to see more of your poetry posted to the blogs. If it doesn’t end up on the blogs, then I’d love to see it in person some time.

  481. NC Gent says:

    LASB — I won’t be in Vegas then, but I will be on the west side of LA next week.

  482. LASB says:

    Andrea – I agree with babydoll. There are a lot of phonies on the site, but the site itself is not phony. I recommend reading the links off to the side of the blog under the section “sugar daddy dating tips.”

    Hi babydoll! I don’t think we’ve met. Glad your V-week is going well!

  483. NC Gent says:

    Hi Andrea — I have found SBs from the site, so it definitely isn’t phony. In fact, I tried a couple of other sites, and I think SA is the best one. It can take a while to find an SD and there are a lot of factors. If you post your profile number, we can provide some tips. Happy hunting!

  484. babydoll says:

    @jenniebug~hehe just enjoy it :)
    my valentines started since last saturday!!! lol still going on until sunday! xxx

    @andrea~hello :) hope you ok, welcome. dont be disheartened of not having/finding an Sd as it is different for everyone.Also,i am sure you will find one sometime soon !

    Its not a phoney site as some have Sd’s from here.
    what is it you wanted to know anyway? if you will be specific i am sure a lot of the more seasoned Sb/Sd here are going to be more than happy to share their expirineces and opinions :)

    see you around xxx

  485. Andrea says:

    Hello world. I am new to the whole thing here. I could use some advice on how to at least get a response from a man. It seems like the site is phony to me but thought I would give it a chance. Let me know something, someone. Thanks

  486. LASB says:

    Hi Everyone! Just dropping by to say hello!

    Hi AM! Go to Lubeck. It’s a UNESCO site and it’s beautiful! Berlin has some pretty interesting dungeons, btw. 😉

    Is anyone going to be in Vegas in the second week of March?

  487. Anna Molly says:

    SKitty ~ I know, It’s an awful thing when you have things to do and all you can manage to do is REFRESH, REFFRESH, REFRESH…lol 😀

  488. Stormcat says:

    Midwest ~ I think you might have been responding to Jenniebug’s post about parenting rather than Meg’s post concerning semantics.

    Meg ~ Are you going to let Dorky get away with the 2 1/2 thing. I mean by my count as long as you don’t exceed 2 posts today you’ve already won the chinese sex swing.

  489. Anna Molly says:

    Jenniebug ~ Oooh, sounds like fun! Love Parade, our kinda’ thang…lol! 😉 Danke!

  490. SKitty says:

    Envy at all the SB’s that have found great relationships/arrangements. Sometimes I have the attention span of a gnat so this is hard. =P Oh well off to run my silly errands and then homework. Must. Get. Away. From. Addictive. Blog

  491. Anna Molly says:

    SDinLA ~ It’s okay, it doesn’t matter if you’re broke! I have enough money for both of us! I’ll be your Sugar Mamma! 😉

  492. jenniebug says:

    oooh, try visiting Berlin. I loved it there. When I was there, they had Love Parade! Soon much fun!

  493. Anna Molly says:

    Yes, Munich. OMG…can’t wait! I’ve always wanted to go to Germany!!! I have to brush up on my German!!! Rosetta Stone, where are you?!?

  494. Anna Molly says:

    I think it’s Munich?..Hmmmm

  495. Anna Molly says:

    Going to Germany in October….any help would be appreciated! What area should we go to? He is picking up his car in Munich, where to go after that? HELP!!! 😀

  496. SDinLA says:

    @all My meg-a-licious inspired thought of the day:

    What if your SD’s name is John?

    Off to see a man about a horse (trainer?) Hope you all have a wonderful day.

  497. Anna Molly says:

    Offer…..STUPID PHONE!!! I can’t wait for my upgrade, but, of course, I don’t think it will matter too much…LOL. 😀

  498. Anna Molly says:

    SDinLA ~ I’ll take you up on that off my dear! Sounds like a good deal to me, but, can you bake cookies? That’s really important… 😀

  499. Midwest SB says:

    Blog post #3,295,…oh hell…I don’t even know!

    Jenniebug – I’m with you! I love being a mom even on the days I have to bring my son to my night class and have him do homework because I chose this over a sitter. It just exposes him to more and he gets his homework done…plus he appreciates when I have to study (“mom, this stuff’s hard!”). He feels all big and important walking around university campus and having people talk to him. I’m lucky in that he has a great relationship with his dad, so mom gets a social life too! It’s a great balance!

    jenniebug- Yay! Enjoy the sugar!

    PhoneGuy – I believe we were both on the same page…perhaps I didn’t say it quite right. Either way, I personally believe you did the right thing.

    SDinLA – you and DG could woo any troll into self-oblivion. <3 Perhaps you can sell your services to other blogs!

  500. Anna Molly says:

    I apologize for any typos, I’m on my phone….which I hate!!!! GRRR

  501. Anna Molly says:

    I received three days in Nantucket, jewelry and I was told I should start shopping for a car! The only stipulation regarding the car is that it has to be an AWD because he worries about my safety. My Sweetie is such a Sweetie! I just want to say to everyone who feels like giving up, DON’T!! There are wonderful men and women out there, you just have to be patient and be confident in yourself! You’ll find Mr. or Ms. right. The search can be long and sometimes difficult, but worth it!

    My sweetheart is just that, a total sweetheart! He’s genuine, honest, caring, generous, trustworthy, sincere, and loving. He’s everything I’ve ever wanted and more. I thought I had found it in other relationships before but I was so wrong. When something is right you know it without question and this one is for sure a keeper, no doubts! It’s not because he wants to give me a car or because he has a home on Nantucket or because he gives me jewelry, it’s because he treats me with the utmost respect and makes me feel good on the inside! I love just being with him and I love every minute I get to spend with him. He is AMAZING. :)

    I had a lovely Valentines Day! 😀

  502. PhoneGuy says:

    @jenniebug,

    My wife and I used to have “birthday month”. We would buy each other things during the entire month of our birthdays, do extra stuff for each other, not complain if the other went over our budget on their month. It was sweet. Glad to hear you are enjoying Valentine’s Week.

  503. SDinLA says:

    @Alleycat Good to see you mate! Hope all is well in AZ. Happy Valentine’s Day to you as well. The roses are in the mail. I waited until today and got a dozen for just $11.99 (I am a broke-ass old c**t after all.)

    @DianaSBinOC my “interpretation” of those terms was somewhat tongue in cheek. I don’t think any of my SBs would ever have complained about being spoiled. BUT, I don’t think any of them would ever have used those words in their profile either (Since I met them all IRL, I don’t know what their profiles would have said.) And my experiences in interacting with potential SBs online, although limited compared to many of the SDs here, tended to show that SBs who DID use those terms were far more likely to be entitled.

    @Captain Flypaper I already have a swing in my dungeon. I think Naughty Molly has one too. Oh, so you’re one of those HORNY masochist pansies. Those are the ones who are easiest to take advantage of… for some reason “masochist pansy” makes me want to say “Dorky, you ignorant slut!”

    @Anna Molly I am doing OK for an old, wrinkly, broke, desperate c**t. Dorky wants to play with Chinese swings. Shall we introduce him to Naughty and her dungeon?

    BTW, I’ll wear tight pants for you and you don’t even have to pay me to watch the kids 😉

    @Guru Sorry, I should have known better than to even minimally engage. That was kind of entertaining to watch/read though. Hmmm, if I enjoyed being insulted like that maybe I’m a closet masochist pansy like Dorky. Where’s megahunnybunny to analyze my writing when I need her?

    @NewYorkGirl Well, SDs can have valid reasons for wanting to stick with the same candy. For me, in and out of the sugar world, it’s as simple as having OCD tendencies. As tempting as the candy store is, I am afraid of the nasty things I could catch from sampling too many slutty candies. 😉

  504. jenniebug says:

    Err. Sorry for typos, this auto correct on my tablet sucks!

  505. jenniebug says:

    @Meg- nanny vs babbysitter.
    Excuse my biased opinion,but I never agreed with the nanny thing.If your a good mother then you don’t need a nanny. A mothers job is to take their own children to their doctor’s appointments and soccer games. She should be there to kiss her children’s ouchies, and snuggle them when they dont feel well. If you are a good mother then you done nred a nanny. I know people who have partially been raised by their nannys. This sickens me. If you done have the time to raise children, dont make them.
    A babbysitter is fine when hounded to go somewhere where you cant take your children. But abuse of a babbysitter can be annoying.

  506. SDinLA says:

    babysitter = neighbor’s 16 year old daughter who’ll get you arrested if you get involved with her.

    nanny/housekeeper = will cause your Kennedy family wife to leave you if you father a child with her.

    au pair = Swedish, will cost you $100 million in your divorce when she finds out about your entitled athlete philandering with porn stars. (NB: I called a guy entitled, I am an equal opportunity insulter.)

  507. jenniebug says:

    Is it just me, or is Valentine’s Day a week long event in the sugar bowl? Im so loving the gifts. They seem to get better every year. A vespa, day spa trip, and potted flowers (I hate them cut.) This weekend seems to be a trip to the bay for one of my favorite resturants. Iam getting extremely fond of Valentine’s week.

  508. Va Gentleman says:

    @Meg

    ” Nanny vs. au pair vs. baby-sitter. ” How about GF ? lol just kidding !

  509. Anna Molly says:

    Speaking of a sincere SD….whatever happened to SincereSD? Anyone know?

  510. NewYorkGirl says:

    Dorky! Congratulations!
    You have a SB with who u r trying to built something. but it is not the girl with who you wanted to go away for 3 days vacation?
    She is not a POT SB? she is your SB ? Congrats. !

    (please do not say I am hitting on you again:) :)

    John/SD .
    I do not know who to recognize them. A guy can promise you a lot… And then after 1-2 meeting disappears;
    Of course if a girl get a monthly allowance at least you know u r with him for this month… But how it would be the next month?
    Many times girls mentioned here SD is like a boy in a candy store…. If he theoretically can try many different candies why he would be stuck with the same one.

    Of course except all the genuine honest sincere SDs on this blog who r deeply honest about everything.
    The rest of the guys … Mostly… Would mind THEIR own interests and would not be too honest with pot SBs.

    ?

  511. SKitty says:

    @Nwsugarbaby – I agree. For me the Au Pair is more of an added member of the family in that they basically do everything the family does. I view it as freeing the parents up from the chores of parenting. Sometimes this can be a good thing, other times not so much.

    As for the VIP SD Club I have no idea. All I know about is the VIP listing of diamond on the SA site.

  512. Nwsugarbaby says:

    Wondering if there is such a thing as a VIP sugar daddy club. Had a potential SD mention it a couple weeks back and I couldn’t come up with a for sure answer via google.

    @Skitty I think being an au pair would be fun and provide a travel opportunity overseas. I did some babysitting when I was in high school.

  513. SKitty says:

    I couldn’t resist. =P

    Baby-sitter = someone under 18 who watches the kids orders pizza or uses the microwave for cooking and likely does not drive or if they do they use parents car for transportation. This is a more casual arrangement for when they are expected to care for the kids.

    Nanny – Does the cooking/cleaning/child care/transportation has their own home/family/car. Over 18 perhaps employed in child care while in school. Also has set schedule of when they are providing care.

    Au pair – expects higher level compensation for their work. Does all the “parent stuff” along with some things for the parents. Might also double as a tutor (second language and so on). Live-in arrangement.

    @AnnaMolly – I agree with you on the guy child care provider qualifications. Much more fun to have someone fun to look at that knows how to cook and likes kids than to have another woman running around doing the same things.

  514. Anna Molly says:

    Now, I guess I’m being politically incorrect because the sitter or whatever could be a guy I suppose….I apologize. In this case he would have to be quite attractive and wear tight pants! 😀

  515. Anna Molly says:

    Well, hmmm, I would want someone to watch the kids and bake cookies! That’s all I want. I don’t care what the title is. She would also have to be quite un-attractive…sorry, I’m the jealous type! 😀

  516. PhoneGuy says:

    @meg, I call mine the nanny or the baby-sitter…probably interchangeably. I was searching for something more than “baby-sitter” because she takes the kids to appointments and does things around the house (laundry, dishes, etc) that my baby-sitters don’t do. I stick with baby-sitter when the 15 year old down the the street comes over and just watches the kids. I would probably use au pair if I were snooty 😉 (j/k) or if she lived with us.

  517. meg says:

    @ all – okay. new semantic difference to discuss:

    Nanny vs. au pair vs. baby-sitter.

  518. PhoneGuy says:

    Actually, he was bent that she never mentioned the boyfriend until just recently, but the bf knew about him.
    Actually I was bent that I was lied to (not “she never mentioned the boyfriend”) and dumped.
    I don’t know if the BF knew about me. Judging by her phone call crying saying she can’t see me anymore and him yelling in the background, I’m kinda guessing maybe he didn’t know. Maybe my Valentine’s Day roses surprised someone and set off a firestorm. 😉

    Exclusivity is interesting. I’m not sure how I feel about it. My first SB asked to be exclusive and I agreed. I have never asked for it but I’m pretty new to this. I have never had more than 1 SB. It might bother me if she was unavailable because she was seeing another SD, but that may be more selfish than jealous. 😉

  519. DorkyGuy says:

    Daily pose #2.5 (since I still can’t access mail)

    @babydoll~ life moves quick in the sugar bowl.. hard to keep up! Yes, I have a SB that I am trying to build something with. Since she is also a blogger, I temporarily removed myself from the blog to focus on that. Going forward, I will be trying to limit my blog activity (also to keep it in balance with work, etc).

  520. babydoll says:

    @stormcat~lol dont worry you are not alone he ignored my email as well haha!!!

    @dorky~snorkelingus??!!

    email is about the other subject (rolling my eyes) re the filming 😛 well the msg must be in my sentbox still so let me know if you need me to resend it :)

    re your welcoming back by other bloggers…huh?! i didnt think you even went away xxx

    to all~yes dear bloggies,there is such a thing as love relationship in the Sugarbowl=
    take note romance is not dead hehe 😉 infact for some it is alive and kicking lol!

  521. Va Gentleman says:

    OOOOH EEEE ! What a bitchy fun blog these days !

    What’s in a name anyway?

    SD or John, SB or escort , NSA ,emotional attatchment , bitchy or outspoken ,honest or passive aggressive, PTP or allowance , (fill in the blank here ) –the list goes on .

    It all boils down to attitude IMHO . The blogger above who got everybody incensed (and I was ready to dive in until I read the other 20 entries that said what I wanted to ) displayed an attitude that was offensive to me . It wasn’t so much the content or her opinion but the delivery . Whenever “screw him ” and “milk it ” are mentioned in the same paragraph you know there are some emotional issues that go beyond some poor sap forgetting to wish his pot SB best wishes .

    My loved SB and I are PTP-ers and it works great for us . We have a relationship and share fun things together in and out of the hotel –to the best of our abilities given my marital status . What do you call us ? I genuinely believe we are BF/GF as well as SD/SB. Honesty is important and I would be very disappointed if I discovered her to be seeing others without me knowing .

    To develop and maintain a relationship it takes respect , and your attitude should reflect that respect for what you have or what you hope to have .

  522. DorkyGuy says:

    Daily post #2

    Blog gods have my blessing to exchange emails with SDinLA. Divorced single father… Exactly where I am at.

    @TinTin, Jessie, and whoever else I missed~ thanks for the nice welcome back :)

    @babydoll~ I see I have a message, but there’s something wrong with my renewal and I can’t open my inbox. I am assuming it was about our troll?

    @StormCat/babydoll~ love the poetry! And StormCat, I am truly incensed that you are not helping me patent my Snorkelingus.

    Just a general note… For some reason, the lastest trolls remind me of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal. A hideous beast that cannot be killed, but is so mind-numbingly stupid that it believes that if you cannot see it, then it cannot see you. The best way to escape is to wrap a towel around your head and run for it. I will be handing out towels at the next blog meeting.

    Guess that’s my daily limit on posts… and it’s only 10:00am. Blast you meg! See everyone tomorrow

  523. PhoneGuy says:

    I just read that one of the married sd’s found out that his sb has a boyfriend. I’m wondering why that was an issue.
    @Diana, I hope you aren’t talking about my post on the subject. I’m not married. I never said she couldn’t have a boyfriend…just that she lied to me and said she didn’t.

  524. Stormcat says:

    DorkyGuy ~ Well, I know you realize that since you only have two posts de jour you have to cover as much subject matter as possible in each so you are going for the multiple comment post style now. What irks me is that you didn’t even comment about my comment about your comment two topics back. I am incensed, truely incensed! You’re ignoring me, aren’t you!

  525. babydoll says:

    @molly~you should be ‘dominatrix molly!’ haha 😉

    @dutch~i will welcome someone name calling though with ‘darling,sweetheart,gorgeous,baby….!!!’

    i would love being called those names ;)))) lol!!!

    @Englishrose~where are you??????????

  526. Midwest SB says:

    Welcome back DianainOC! It has been a while!

    I see that Stormcat and Babydoll addressed some of your thoughts/ questions. I’ll try to address the others…

    Now what’s funny is that I read about that gift daddy guy milking the sb arrangements yet he didn’t get the same response for the other Sd’s. I’m pretty sure this guy’s profile didn’t say that he was only giving silk panties and dinner. The way you view it, I agree that this shows some bias. I don’t recall who this gift daddy is, but I’m sure the women wouldn’t stand for it for long. So if men react to a woman’s behavior negatively, and women react to a man’s behavior negatively, then perhaps the bias isn’t what it seems.

    I just read that one of the married sd’s found out that his sb has a boyfriend. I’m wondering why that was an issue. Was is more so because the sb had a bf or was it because the sb’s bf knew about the sd? I believe you are referring to PhoneGuy. Actually, he was bent that she never mentioned the boyfriend until just recently, but the bf knew about him. It appears as if she omitted the fact that she had a boyfriend. Does that matter in sugar? Many feel that honesty & communication matters. I don’t really think it was an exclusivity issue on the SD’s part, but I’ll let him address that.

    Saw the saga from last week and decided to just post now. I’ve been getting a number of new profiles contacting me, no pictures, short 4 lines of text or the I’m going to be in your town next week types. Then the profile disappears or says “user no longer exists”. This time around seems to be the same for me as well. I just block and delete the one-liners and suggestive profiles. The men complain of the same thing. As the membership grows, the percentage of genuine SDs to jds (joke daddies) remains the same, just in larger quantities. It seems like reaching out to someone who YOU think is interesting and genuine is going to be better than waiting for the jds to contact you. Happy Hunting!

  527. Anna Molly says:

    What the heck has been going on around here lately? So much drama…my goodness! Does Naughty need to come around and whip everyone?!? lol 😀

    SDinLA ~ How are ya Sweetness? 😉

  528. DorkyGuy says:

    Daily post #1

    @meg~ you are on! I want my swing in black, dammit. Or maybe in rainbow, if SDinLA is coming to visit.

    @SugarSF~ the masochist pansy in me is turned on. Wanna go out? You can manipulate me from all my money and from my life a living hell.

    @SDinLA~ the masochist pansy in me is turned on. Wanna go out?

    @DutchGirl~ love the quote! Now my use of the word “dammit” above makes more sense.

  529. babydoll says:

    @stormcat~ wow that is really briliant xxx thank you for posting your poem here again,i think you should as og as youo feel you want to:)
    you may think people ignore but who cares? it is free and doesnt hrm anybody and its a form of self expression an outlet.a lot of peole wont cment about these things but a lot as well love to just read,observe and stay quiet, but it doesnt mean art is less appreciated xxx
    again,thank you stormcat,i hope to read more of the poems you have saved and some you still happy to create!!!

    @dutchy~yes atually i got fed up having to read,angry words,insults and hurtful things being written here when some one’s way doesnt happen! but anyway,i hope all is well and tried to ring ER yesterday and text she hasnt replied!! i hope she is ok …

    @midwest~walks,talks behaves like a ……

  530. Midwest SB says:

    “I have another question for all of you. Can you have two different profiles up on SA at once? Say, for example, I have two different types of arrangements I want. Can you make separate pages for those, or is that not allowed? I don’t want to do anything against the rules, but I also don’t want to make a profile full of contradictory / too long paragraphs.”TinTin SB

    I have seen multiple profiles for the same SD, so my guess is that they use different e-mails and usernames. It tends to come off as a red flag though. SBs have called out SDs with the multiple profiles, so it could backfire. Perhaps if you tell us what type of arrangements you want, we can try to finesse it for you.

  531. Dutch Girl says:

    @Babydoll Bravo – I could have not said it any better.

    And a quote from my nun school teacher ‘Swearing is the sign of a limited vocabulary’ springs to my mind here. Can we please be adults and not swear or call each other names – it is not very imaginative or lady-like.

  532. babydoll says:

    @DianaSBOC~hello what your questions are very ineresinng to be honest,i find them sound questions and needs to be answered. As for tdefining an john from a genuine sd, i feel like its all different for everyone as we all have our own situations that may apply to some and not to others.
    i met my sd in another site and we find that site really helpful and we actually used a lot of the guidelines that were in that blog that was provided as helpful insights to new Sb/Sd like us,and it did us well indeed.
    I still have have my account there although not active its a personal choice me and my sd agreed on.
    re married sd’s having their cake and eat it by not wanting to pay allowance,comments that you found distasteful etc.hotel stays only and paying as they go.
    again,to each is their own and it doesnt make those people involved in those kind of arrangements bad people.
    for example~ and i am talking from expirience albeit not a lot as i am new,but it may help you see it from a different persons point of view.
    when i metmy sd in his profile it says,NSA and hotel meets and fun.among all those who contacted me he was one of those i go in touch through email.he is married but found much later that they are separated.at that time oo,i was in a relationship IRL.but has some fianacila issues and heartache that came along with this IRL relationship ,read about the site,got curious and signed up.my reason was,maybe someoen out there can help me financially with no pressure like it does IRL?
    I didnt have to wait too long, it took us 2 weeks to meet up,he was charming,asked each other what we expected from each other,why we are in this site? but one thing we made clear,however difficult the discussion would be we have to be honest.
    so,he said,nsa,hotel meets,intimacy and companionship.
    for me,its the financial side of the agreement.
    we had a great evening at a very nice restaurant,separated at the end of the evening and then let our selves think aboout the convesation we had before makking contact to meet again,but discussed the allowance or offer he was happy to provide before the 2nd meet.
    we are both adults and he arrangement worked perfectly fr both of us,but would i think that he was a john if we carried on just meeting at hotels? i dont think so,that was part of the fun for us,stayig at hotels going out to town and enjoying each others company.i never felt for one minute that he was treating me like an escort as he doesnt feel i am a gold diggger or a prostitute for accepting money after we meet.it is very clear for him he needs to take care of me,although there are moments i wish it were a different set up,but we both agreed to it and accepted willingly.
    he knew i was with another man in the beginning,he worked everythign around that,he never pressured me,now i am not with that person anymore,we spend more time together when we both can,still stay at hotels or at my studio whn we can,have a geat time,but now we are more closer,fell inlove and happy for it.
    as for pot sd’s who cant provide what was promised,i think if it were me,if he disappears after two talks,nowhere to find him,i wont even bother thinking about the guy.
    if i wasnt with an sd,and having talks with a pot sd thrugh email,i would have thought by the first week he would ask for a meet up,then think about it,but make an offer before meeting up again.

    For Sd’s who asks for sex and P4P~guess at some point we will all be or most of us would be contacted by these types of Sd’s but is that what you want? if not just be firm,i have been asked several times in this way but its not for me and i am already in anarrnagement…

    As for strong opinions on the blog
    i hink its all well and good that we say what we think and i understand for everyones frustrationsa after that incident on the last blog,it will carry on for a while stilli think,and to try and defend yourself from other bloggers is ok,but dont take all too personal,or to the point of asking for an argument over a certain matter.i understand eveyones point of view here,i think some bloggers feels ignored,some feels like being ganged up on,some being bullied and some just happy to drift around.but like i said everyone is different maybe we can all be considerate about everyone not just our regular blog people who have been here for a while even to those new.
    but abusive behaviour from one blogger earlier,using foul word to directly hurt another blogger should go away first and think about things rather than hitting on everyone negatively as well.so basically,you are no different from the people you got angey with anyway…

    telling if the guy is a john or Sd? he maybe a John for some and an Sd for others :)

  533. Victoria says:

    I need to get into the sugar bowl!

  534. Stormcat says:

    In honor of my blogfriend poet, Babydoll, I now publish one of my poems from when I was last in love.

    Chosen Star
    by Stormcat

    Don’t call, or call,
    Today. This longing can not be satisfied
    By your presence nor by your absence.
    I’m so cold. I hide in bed under three
    quilts and two blankets and one sheet. The cell
    Phone gives me away by not ringing. Continuously
    I check for signal bars and battery bars. Always
    Present. “be my love cause no one else can end
    This yearning” close my eyes to allow the vision
    This time it’s animals. Hmmm . . . First time
    that’s happened. I wanted it to be your face
    An owl an eagle an owl a hawk a groundhog
    What‘s this? Come closer. Oh! A pony.
    A wild pony. With a winter coat. Its mane hanging
    Over its eyes. It seems to be staying. Tears
    Without moisture. Everything dies, even the stars.
    I wonder do living stars have a funeral when one dies?
    How many realists are disappointed when they realize
    That their realism isn’t real! Must we suffer
    The consequence of a thousand ordinary dreams
    Such that one genius dream can be realized?
    No . . . and Yes
    I forgive you a thousand times over for
    Not realizing that I have met a hundred thousand
    And chosen only you to love.
    How could you know? Or more to the point
    How could I tell you without sounding self serving?
    Or even more, it doesn’t matter how many you were
    Chosen over if you don’t also choose
    This one
    bright
    star.

  535. Stormcat says:

    DianaSBinOC ~ Hi, welcome back. Does the OC stand for ocean city. If so maybe you know OC Sugarbaby. She used to be a Mod here.
    I think your analysis of the situation was good. The trigger here on the blog seemed to be the milking word. I don’t know if you realized that this SB posted on a recent previous topic about expecting her pot SD do do something special for her on Vday even though there was no arrangement in place. She was given advice then that if Vday was so important to her she should tell him and not expect him to read her mind. She obviously didn’t bring it up to him back then. He forgot, as she suspected, he would. She through her little hissy fit, wouldn’t accept his apology nor his attempts to make ammends, then asked here for how long she should milk it. I don’t think the blog community should be required to endure such gibberish without harsh comment.

  536. DaddyGT says:

    Dear lord. I need to invest in some popcorn futures :-) With the train wreck happening here, I think they’ll be a lot of popcorn chumping folk watching it all unfold and there’s a killing to be made. :-)

    @SugardaddyformeisBETTER/@SugarSF/@<>
    When I initially read your comment, like many others here, I thought, woah!!

    I will try and keep my response civil, and yes address the core issues that ruffled me in your post.

    First off, your post does come across as being one by someone with entitlement issues. Getting upset about a holiday day (its not even a holiday) as random as Valentine’s day shows an incredible lack of maturity. Seriously. There are far more important things in my life for me to worry about than Valentine’s Day. Far more.

    No, really. I have thought about it a lot in the last few days, and while I have sent roses on Valentine’s day before, I will *never ever* do so again. Particularly not to anyone I am intimately involved with. That’s my new resolution. Instead, I will be giving roses to random strangers on Feb 14. Never to a loved one. And if a loved one needs flowers or a message on some random day like 14 Feb to get affirmation of our relationship, we already have a problem.

    You then proceeded to ask whether you should “milk it and have him make it up to me in a big way?. Yikes!! This is so wrong on just so many levels. I’m not even sure I know where to begin. Personally, I do not put up with such behaviour/attitude IRL, nevermind in the sugar bowl. Life is far too short, and with 3 billion women on the planet, I really do not need to be taking sh*t from anyone. I hope too, that anyone I am with is neither putting up with or rewarding bad behaviour in me. We must all continue to learn and grow, no?

    If you are genuinely upset, tell him. Being passive aggressive (as someone else here posted) is just not cool. Sugar bowl or not. It is the ultimate turnoff. Next!! Even suggesting that you want to milk a guy like that is in such poor taste, that it transcends entitled, and borders on mercenary. Again, NEXT, very very quickly.

    Personally though, a woman who made a big deal about missing Valentine’s day clearly has a totally different value system to mine. Next!!! From what you wrote about what your mother said to you, it is probably not your fault, and just the way you were raised. Those values though, are a total anathema to me, and are not values I want in those I choose to be around. Still, Next!!

    The value system leads rather nicely into the matter of reality TV. In the circles I revolve in, this is such a no no it does not even need to be explained. Unfortunately this is one of those things that you either get, or don’t get. Any woman that needs me to explain why I don’t date women that do reality TV is a woman I don’t need to date. Reality TV is just not done. For a SB or IRL GF, appearing in a reality TV show is grounds for break-up.

    That you cannot see the huge and fundamental difference between someone going on a TV show to promote their product/business, and someone who just wants to be on reality TV, again shows that you just don’t get it, and worse, that you probably never will. See above on this being grounds for immediate breakup in my book. *shudders* Maybe I’m just a snob like that.

    You then proceed to insult a lot of SDs here for calling you on your issues. Well, one of the core pillars of sugar dating, is “No Drama”, and getting into such a hissy fit over a missed Valentine’s that you consider “milking it” definitely falls into the drama category. I could not think of anything more pettily dramatic than that. And no, it is not because the SD is paying. It is just, well, grown up.

    Nobody is asking SBs to walk on eggshells. Personally, I love opinionated women. Bimbos turn me off. That said, I think everyone expects both parties in the relationship to be adult. And being adult does not mean walking on eggshells, but certainly draws a line at wanting to “milk it”.

    And speaking of passive aggressive behaviour, the veiled and not so veiled threats you make about this site are testament to your issues. Seriously, there is something incredibly wrong about that entire rant. If I was Brandon, I would take you up on your challenge to trash this site to all your ‘connections’. Hahaha.

    And the classic. Your rant on SDs here being old men that “must pay for pussy” is so wrong. If that was not enough, you suggest that your approach to sugar dating is “You use me, I use you, simple! […] You think you are entitled to a sbs body, you use them for sex, and you don’t appreciate the time.”

    You clearly have no understanding whatsoever what sugar dating is all about, and with that attitude, you would do much better as an escort.
    Just as importantly, I pray that you find better lovers soon. Sex or intimacy should never be about one person using the other, or one person doing the other a favour. If both parties are not *enjoying* the sex, you have a problem. And if both parties are enjoying it, nobody is using anyone else. For everything else, there’s always the escorting option.

    Finally, I think I agree with all the other posters on this matter besides you. While it is great to stand alone on some issues, maybe you should ask yourself if all the other posters here (both male and female), either have it in for you personally, or are all wrong. My take? On this matter, you are clearly in the wrong. Not only that, your entitlement and mercenary tendencies spoil the sugar bowl and should never be encouraged. In fact, they should be actively called out, dissuaded, condemned, and yes, struck out, so have to totally agree with the other posters here.

  537. DianaSBinOC says:

    It’s been a while since I posted here . I’m up late/early.

    Entitled seems a tad harsh because an SB felt hurt that a pot Sd didn’t say happy VDay. I don’t know why “Entitled” comes up so often. Also don’t the SDs realize that many of the Sbs have a 30-40 year differ