7 years ago
Sugar To-Do’s: Conveying Expectations

7 years ago
Sugar To-Do’s: Conveying Expectations

Many people are finding their sweet spot within the Sugar Daddy lifestyle. You never know who’s gonna be at the end of that ‘next’ search page on SeekingArrangement. While celebs like Charlie Sheen have been sharing their style of sugar living with the world, there are countless in-real-life sugars who are nothing short of goddesses and guru’s to behold right here in the Sugarbowl…

NYC SB‘: “I’m winning :p its what happens when you mix dragon blood and venus dna … <3 me some charlie sheen craziness

A central part of the Sugar Daddy Lifestyle, is communicating relationship expectations clearly. As many here have said, the sugar simply isn’t as sweet (if not sour), if the expectations of Sugar Daddy and Sugar Baby aren’t known upfront.

Yet with all great outcomes, usually lay a record of right steps taken along the way. When it comes to Sugar Daddy dating, those steps usually include:

1. Creating a profile on a Sugar Daddy dating site.

There are quite a few to choose from these days, and choosing the right one for you may depend on many factors. If you’re a Sugar Baby, for example, you might prefer a sugar site that doesn’t require a paying membership to send and receive messages from potential SD’s. For Sugar Daddies, joining a site that prohibits the use of fake (site created) Sugar Baby profiles, and doesn’t make false claims about their membership numbers, for example, may be important to you.

2. Knowing what to expect from your Sugar Daddy or Sugar Baby.

Expectations aren’t the same for every sugar daddy or sugar baby. On SeekingArrangement, SB’s and SD’s can make their expectations clear in many ways, including listing their desired monthly allowance (for SB’s of course), and how much their budget for a potential SB would be in an arrangement. While SA doesn’t require members to list a specific amount, some sugars prefer knowing the desired range of financial as well as emotional involvement sought by a potential sugar daddy or sugar baby upfront.

3. Making a good Sugar Daddy or Sugar Baby profile heading.

A sugar profile heading should draw the right attention. Many sugars here have said that the best profile headings are “simple yet sincere”. One Sugar Daddy member seeking a Sugar Baby male said the best profile heading he ever saw was “welcome home”. ‘Anna Molly‘ said there was one sugar heading that stood out to her, which was “Meeting of the Minds before the Loins”. You can always adjust your heading to fit your truth as needed.

4. Writing messages to potential Sugar Daddies or Sugar Babies.

There’s no one right way to write a potential sugar a message (whether a reply or an initial contact), yet many sugars have discussed their sugar message techniques, such as the method of ‘SweeTooth’: “Keeping them short, flirty, and listing at least one thing that attracts me to them”. As many in the Sugar World have found, being upfront without being ‘demanding’ is sometimes a fine line to tow, as mentioned by Leidra Lawson (author of Sugar Daddy 101) in a recent interview she did with this blog here.

5. Not feeling rejected if/when a potential SD/SB doesn’t respond – be patient.

The most commonly repeated advice (especially in regards to sugar babies who haven’t gotten the response they’re used to getting from men on normal dating sites) has been to be patient in the Sugar World. There are many reasons a potential may not respond to your initial message, and many reasons a sugar you’ve been communicating with may ‘poof’. ‘No June Cleaver SB‘ recently gave several of her theories as to why a Sugar Daddy or Sugar Baby may turn poof daddy or poof baby in a recent comment, which can be viewed on the blogs latest advice column page here.

6. Going on a first date with a Sugar Daddy or Sugar Baby.

The chemistry that takes place on the first IRL date with a potential SD or SB is what many here have said determines the viability of a sugar relationship and arrangement. As with all types of relationships, but especially sugar ones, establishing a sense of trust and validating mutual appreciation for one another is very important. Many sugars have said that the chemistry should always supersede all other aspects of sugar potential, since even if a pot SD or SB can meet all your predetermined expectations – if the chemistry’s not there, the mutual benefit will be fleeting if ever present.

What are some of the right moves you’ve taken so far with your Sugar Daddy dating?

How are things going in your Sugar World lately?

Leave a Reply

507 Responses to “Sugar To-Do’s: Conveying Expectations”

  1. The Lone Gunman currently in Australia says:

    New blog!

  2. CinDC says:

    MissMilanDC…thank you! It’s good to know some sugars in the area! How was your girls night out??

  3. CinDC says:

    At the moment I feel that I am “serial” conversating and making plans with more than one person merely because the POT’s I’ve talked to either can’t make a commitment to meet, are taking their time to see everyone out there, or just want to meet at a hotel and call it good. So for me its taken time to find someone sincere, serious, and whom I attracted to as well. Too much to ask for?

  4. Honey says:

    Lone–Serial for now for me. Later I will settle down with one guy to focus all my energies all. But for now I just would like to play.

  5. Honey says:

    Lisa, I think you have to sign things in front of a notary. She then takes out her notary thinghy(technical term) and signs and stamps the paper and you pay her a fee,per page, I believe.

  6. Lisa says:

    Moonpatrol, maybe the guy was just a nice guy helping the single mother. There are actually a few men out there who have a heart and might help someone in a difficult situation without there being anything sexual in it for him. They are few, but I guess they do exist, those guys deserve great respect.

    ok anyone know how to read legal papers. just got my lawsuit papers, need to respond in 20 days. have some questions things that need to be notarized, do I answer these at the notary’s office? and what exactly is a notary and where do I find one?

  7. Moon Patrol says:

    I hate to see her get in a situation that she has to get out of OR worse it mutates into something she doesn’t expect going in.

  8. Reach the Beach SB says:

    Moonpatrol – My bff was roommates with a guy and she had a young son. It was totally platonic, but they did split everything evenly. Maybe this guy is dipping his toe into the SD arena :-) (sorry…a little punchy).

  9. Moon Patrol says:

    Just curious. would a guy share an apartment with a single mother if he didn’t have intentions of eventually sharing the bed? Why else would he share when she’s only paying the utilities?

  10. Moon Patrol says:

    I can see too. I just only commit to read back a few posts.

  11. Reach the Beach SB says:

    It loaded for me too! Yay!

    Hi kitten! Thanks for the recipes…I’m catching up!

  12. Beach_Girl says:

    Finally, I can read the blog!
    I needed a break

    Hi everyone! 😀

  13. The Lone Gunman currently in Australia says:

    @SD Guru

    That may be a problem, as we’ve apparently used them all up in the local Universities.

    TLG

    • Reach The Beach SB says:

      Might I suggest removing the images we were adding to the blog? The other blogs load fine and that is the one major change I see. Just my $0.02.

  14. Kindred Spirit says:

    Yep, definitely a system issue everywhere…pity. Since I made it on, think I shall post the following:

    If you are going to message me a “form letter”, no matter how lovely, can you at least add a few tibits of information so I know that you also had really read my profile? Like, you write that you notice we have some interests in common…can you tell me specifically what those are, please? Then I have more to go by when writing/communicating with you back. :) *sigh*

  15. The Lone Gunman currently in Australia says:

    How many of you have looked over a profile and noticed that the picture attached and the written description (hair and eye color, for example) totally did not match? In fact, they change from one picture to the next?

    If you’re going to try and scam a site, at least put forth the effort to get the details right, I say.

    TLG

    • SD Guru says:

      @TLG
      To fix it, must I sacrifice a Virgin to the Blog Gods?

      Others are having the same problem with blog page not loading properly. I have informed Stephan and asked him to have the IT guys take a look. But I’m sure a virgin sacrifice could speed up the process! :mrgreen:

  16. The Lone Gunman currently in Australia says:

    Okay–it took me four page refreshes to get to the point where the blog downloaded fully enough to post here–is anyone else experiencing this phenomenon?

    To fix it, must I sacrifice a Virgin to the Blog Gods?

    Wait….oh bugger.

    TLG

  17. whitelillies says:

    TLC- Agreed with Just June. Having more than one seems like it would be tiring. I even hate juggling pots until I find what I’m looking for. Maybe if you had a couple not so involved relationships, or a lot of free time, it would be easier to have more open sugar.

    A few weeks ago, I got an e-mail from a man looking for a “submissive girlfriend with wife potential.” His message was a little generic, but I none the less, e-mailed him back to tell him submissive did not describe me at all. Low and behold, today, I got what appeared to be the same damn e-mail. Gotta love losers who can’t even keep track of who refused them.

    On a happier note, had a great picnic with a pot I’ve been seeing for a while on Friday. It was the first actually nice day around here, so I ordered food to go from my favorite organic restaurant and took the reigns as far as plans went. I really like this one a lot, hope things work out.

    How is everyone else’s sugar life?

  18. Just June says:

    @TLG“From the standpoint of an SB, which is best, and would you be open to more than one–or is one-at-a-time the ONLY way to sweeten your life?”

    ONE arrangement at a time is MYpreference. I need time to invest in a relationship, I need physical energy so I can do things with my SD and I need emotional energy to strengthen the connection. My schedule is so hectic, I would be so depleted of all of those personal resources/boundaries if I had more than one SD and that just wouldn’t be fair to any of them!

  19. MissmilanDC says:

    @DC ,just shot you an email

  20. MissmilanDC says:

    @CinDC welcome girly

  21. The Lone Gunman currently in Australia says:

    Okay, here’s a suggestion for a new blog topic (while I’ve FINALLY gotten the full page to load):

    Serial Sugar or Open Sugar?

    Many folks in Sugar World are only into one Sugar Arrangement/Relationship at a time, while others maintain a more Openly Sweet Lifestyle with more than one arrangement going at the same time.

    From the standpoint of an SB, which is best, and would you be open to more than one–or is one-at-a-time the ONLY way to sweeten your life?

    SDs? Same question.

    TLG

  22. Reach the Beach SB says:

    Good morning sugars!

    I’m having the same loading issues…good to know it’s not my computer. I’m sure Stephan will work it out.

    FMB’s are great in the clubs…probably not recommended in the show arenas…unless you want to hit the judges up later.

  23. cleo says:

    moon patrol: there totally is, hot shoes make me feel hot!
    .
    CinDC: i haven’t been able to get the blog to load since friday, basically one try in 20 i’d get the whole page, the rest of the time it would stall part way. i guess it’s time for a new blog…

    :)

    oh yeah, welcome!

  24. Moon Patrol says:

    Honey – I once heard from an important woman had a pair of boots that she wore when she was wanting to get laid . She called them F- me boots. Could there be a confidence inspiring connection for some women and their boots to getting what they want quickly?

  25. The Lone Gunman currently in Australia says:

    @SDinLA

    You wouldn’t recognize me from that picture now anyway.

    I got rid of the trenchcoat, glasses and penis-shaped microphone a long time ago…

    TLG

  26. CinDC says:

    Hi Sugars..I’m a month into this experience and have been following the blog since the beginning. Digging up past posts and I really appreciate all the great advice I’ve read! I’ve just now been able to comment on the blog (I think my computer was playing games with me) so I’m happy to participate now! My experience so far has been interesting. Patience has been the key. I’ve definitely learned quickly and I’m sure will continue to benefit from everyone! I have spoken with some POT who all are quite different in their own way and not a match for me, although I did have lunch with a real gentleman yesterday who I have a good feeling about. He seems eager to see me again, so for me it’s figuring out the whole process of this lifestyle. More to come, and I am always looking forward to words of wisdom, fun stories, and just connecting with you all.

    @DC…I’m guessing you are in DC? Too bad I just saw you all are meeting tonight..Have fun!!

  27. cleo says:

    acidbear i’m totally that girl too, one time i left toronto at 10am and stopped in macon at 4am. that trip formed my “always be in a bed by 2am or you don’t get any sleep!” road trip rule!

    i’m so not into the party i have to go to tonight… i’m stalling and watching white collar…

  28. 600 miles/10.5 hour trip in 9 hours! I am the road warrior.

    Last call for anyone that wants to meet in Charlotte and/or Raleigh this week!

    Dc girls have fun!

  29. LASB says:

    SDinLA — Well now mine is ruined. I didn’t bet, but my team is done, so whatevsssss. And yes, BG is so last year. As far as a MZBF, maybe I should stalk the real thing, since I know where he lives and apparently he has the yellow fever.

  30. Naughty Molly says:

    Me? Trouble? Never 😉

  31. SDinLA says:

    Lily: Check your spam folder. I resent and also sent to the yahoo account you had.

    LASB: My bracket is ruined already. Way too few upsets in Round One, no fun at all.

    Thanks for the explanation of “namaste.” I swear it wasn’t me.”Dangerous?” Maybe, but in a good way. “Disgusting?” Never! 😉

    Re: BGBF, Bill Gates is so last year anyway. You should be looking for MZBF! 😉

    Enjoy your Saturdays everyone.

  32. SDinLA says:

    TLG: you mean this isn’t you? I figured it was all part of the plot and you were still alive, hence your mysterious travel and such.

    [img]http://farm1.static.flickr.com/35/70927418_4842ee1d04.jpg[/img]

  33. LASB says:

    So is anyone else a March Madness fan?

  34. LASB says:

    DC – Yes, he is no more indeed, but life goes on.

    SDinLA – NYCSB is laughing b/c “Namaste” is the headline of a disgusting and possibly dangerous real person posing as a SD on SA, and my coming across him is what brought me to the blog. Then, when I got here, I learned that everyone already knew about him b/c another blogger had actually met him in person! Yikes!

  35. Reach The Beach SB says:

    You ladies have a great time! We expect a full report first thing tomorrow morning :-)

  36. DC says:

    thanks sdinla! i’m sorry to hear that lasb :(

    honey, definitely!

    chinadoll and missmilan, we’re meeting tonight in some hours.. haven’t heard from either of you guys, don’t forget to email me if you need the info! we’re just doing dinner/drinks, should be fun :)

  37. The Lone Gunman currently in Australia says:

    [img]http://www.coldfusionvideo.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/eliotness-e.jpg[/img]

    By special request, a self-image.

  38. Lily says:

    SDinLA – no note came! Urgh.

  39. Beach_Girl says:

    AM~ I never see you on chat anymore :( did you change your handle? let me know girlie!

    • SD Guru says:

      @Carebear/Acidbear/Spawn of Satan, etc

      I thought this was the group that prides itself on being accepting of all types of personalities and quite frankly I’m feeling a bit rejected these days.

      All personalities and all perspectives are welcome, while personal attacks and flames are not. This is clearly explained in the “Blog Etiquette“.

      Ok since I’m being moderated and blocked as acidbear, I’m reposting as carebear, her evil twin.

      As I mentioned in my post on Monday night after the weekend drama/mess was cleaned up, no one was being blocked from posting. I asked anyone who had problems posting to email me and I’ll look into it. Thanks to Stephan for taking care of your specific case.

      SD Guru aka blog moderator, are you taking sides with SDinLA by applauding his spar with Spawn of Santa aka Dandelion Wine?

      No, I’m simply enjoying his wicked sense of humor like several other bloggers have expressed.

      Since neutrality seems to be a characteristic held in high regard around here, I would hope those that have such regard maintain to stay so, in order to keep from any sort of aristocratic behavior from taking over the democracy that is the SA blog.

      As you know I’m not the only moderator for this blog. There is a team of moderators who constantly walk a fine line between letting passionate individuals carry on a constructive argument/debate vs letting it escalate and degenerate into personal attacks and flame wars. We do the best we can based on our judgment and experience. It’s a tough job, but somebody has to do it to keep the peace!

  40. Beach_Girl says:

    Stephan~ you still have the emails, too cute! lmao… I have a few more ideas!!!! 😛

  41. SDinLA says:

    DC: don’t mean to speak for LASB but I believe she said BGBF is no more.

    NYC SB: I’ve actually tried to stop using “Namaste” as a salutation/valediction because it’s become such a part of the yoga craze in this country and comes across as an affectation. But I spent time in South Asia as a child, and it is a valediction I have used often in the past. I will use Portuguese valedictions because of my many Brasilian/Portuguese friends, French valedictions due to my Ex’s family and my fluency in that language, British valedictions because that is my upbringing etc.

    Lily: Did you get rid of the gmail account? Note sent to your live dot com address.

    NM: Uh oh, day after St. Patrick’s Day, Friday night and Naughty Molly is out to play. I smell trouble with a capital T.

  42. Naughty Molly says:

    Good evening everyone!

  43. Lily says:

    Sdinla – forgot to save your email address & chucked the gmail you have. Can you drop me a line to SugarBabySA at live dot com? I have news.

  44. NYC SB says:

    Lasb – he said “namaste” lol ahhhh memories :)

  45. texasugah says:

    Hi all

    I’m back again. Glad to see the blog has calmed down.

    Anna. Oh honey here’s a big hug!

    Son aka Enigma CL is a scary place. I have a page on my blog about it.

    Honey – I didn’t know you were in Houston too. Another local sugar. Hermes? You’ll be loved on Post Oak.

    Time in the sugarbowl? Tried a year ago Xmas ’09 with very little success. Just really in the Bowl since this Xmas.

    Met a great new sugar who is by far the most generous I’ve met. And have a date with a man who should be a sugar but isn’t. Maybe he is secretly.. mentioning shopping at the Galleria before the first date screams it tho. I’m not complaining or resisting.

    Kennedy – hey girl.. how ya doing????

  46. cleo says:

    i have a couple of pairs of frye heels and i love them, really well made and gorgeous and pretty comfortable

  47. Honey says:

    Later daters, off to frolic in the park. Might be on later, I’m starting to like you guys….
    But if I don’t , know that I will be showcasing my sugarbaby talents this weekend at the Bed and Breakfast by making my daddy some gumbo! I cook, but don’t clean, if you tasted my cooking you would agree that’s it more than a fair trade! I spoil him so!

  48. Honey says:

    DC I hope you don’t mind if I take that as an invitation to pop down there the next time you have a sb get together! Thanks for the boot suggestions dandy. And I’m open to any other ones. Who else has a favorite boot? Spill it…

  49. DC says:

    happy friday everyone!!! hopefully no one has that dreaded rebecca black song stuck in their head like i do.
    :)

  50. Spawn of Santa aka Dandelion Wine says:

    SDinLA, joke. Relax. Yogic Breath: Give yourself a few moments of calm and sit down in a way that is comfortable and allows the spine to be lengthened. You can close your eyes and take your attention to your breath. Inhale slowly through the nose all the way down to the abdomen into your pelvis, and fill up the body, expanding the abdomen, then the chest, then the throat. It’s simply deep, conscious breathing. When you can sip in no more, exhale, letting all the air pour out, picturing and feeling the collected energy and breath moving up the spine and out through the crown of the head. See if you can’t let something go, like a thought or worry, along with the breath. Keep it going for as long as you wish.

  51. DC says:

    Honey, that’s because all the SBs in this area are all so great! (if I do say so myself, haha) :)

    LASB, Hiii!!! I’m waving frantically! Please let me know when you come back out to the East Coast. I’d love to see you again! Thanks for the warm words.. It’s always tough when you have a break up, but I feel so relieved, I just know it was for the best.
    How are you and your man? Are you two still together?

  52. DC says:

    missmilan DC: email me! (same email as posted above) ^ this is for an SB get together happening tomorrow night :) super excited!

  53. Spawn of Santa aka Dandelion Wine says:

    Honey, check out Konig and Petrie.

  54. DC says:

    china doll dc: email me at: pop. candy. art. (all one word). at the G place.

  55. SDinLA says:

    DW: Why would that make me stroke?

    Your comment is very enlightening. I do not say the things I do out of a need to be right, or to prove you wrong. I post here to share my experiences with the other members of this community. The issue I have with you is your constant need to be the one who is right about any and every thing, I don’t believe that everything you write is incorrect.

    If I post something that actually agrees with your viewpoint, that makes me sigh in relief, not want to stroke, because then I don’t have to grit my teeth at the reply which picks at my experiences and calls them into question.

    Again, your expectation that I would have a problem with our having the same opinion is most revealing. I apologize if any of my posts were taken personally. From now on I really am just going to treat your posts the same way I do the venters and just let it go. If you feel the need to address any comments to me specifically in future, please ask the blog gods for my email address and we can spare the blog the drama.

    Namaste

  56. Honey says:

    I think I want the “Julia” at Fryes. It speaks to me. Thanks!

  57. Honey says:

    SD, Acidbear ,spawn, that is Exactly the type of advice I’m looking for. While I do want my vanity pair of boots, to look pretty on a horse. I think Canter is just about the prettiest thing to do on a horse! Endurance racing the funniest, been riding since I was 15, when I used to sneak out of the house to go bareback riding in a neighbors field. Who needs boys, I have horses! So I want a good pair to do real horsework in and a nice opulent pair. My favorite pair is a liz Clayborne with brocaded and stitch type fabric, (ON the Inside.) Under $400 think I got them on sale for like $265 and the heel is a wee bit too high really for proper riding,but lovely. A soft orange-y leather. going for that understated elegance look. But I’m not out just to spend money for money’s sake, I want good workable Quality.So many people nowdays don’t get quality is not JUST want you pay for it. Quality does not have to be expensive.I want to be respected when I do my eventing, it is very conservative. Those gucci boots would be screaming “Sugarbaby!” at an event,(in my mind) but on a nice trip to the west coast, I could rock’em there. have my picture taken with them in the woods, with a khaki safari shirt….There’s plenty of room for all boots in my life.Thanks for all the tips, I assure you I am taking notes!

  58. stephan says:

    SDinLA – ROFL! The curtain has been pulled back – I have now been found huddled over a pint of Ben & Jerry’s Rocky Road with one finger over the mouse, just praying that the day would never come… always having my paper mache jet fueled (with sugar cane ethenol) ready to take off at the moment in which the people, would find out. i cannot even put one comment above another. Tho i have tried, i discovered that it’s not doable by this mere mortal. Sugods, wherever you may lurk, have you no mercy on me!?

  59. Spawn of Santa aka Dandelion Wine says:

    SDinLA, i can’t believe you didn’t stroke from having to be reiterating what I said 😉

  60. Acidbear aka Carebear says:

    Honey, I may be way off base with this suggestion, but in my previous job, we catered to a local equestrian team of an ivy, and I was never sure if this was the girls being label-whores or if the boots were actually functional for sport as much as casual, but Frye boots were always a hit and still super popular around here at least.

  61. SDinLA says:

    Damn it, I need to refresh before I post.

    The omniscient one beat me to it, so I could have save the effort in replying.

    Honey: you aren’t kidding about how cheap horses still are after the recession. You can get a pedigree hunter/jumper for nothing these days. My girlfriend picked up a 4-y/o Warmblood with an amazing bloodline for 3k recently. Before the recession that was a 30K horse for sure. Of course, as with most toys it’s not the initial acquisition cost that gets you necessarily, which is why they are so cheap in the first place.

  62. SDinLA says:

    Honey, I was on the Jr. National Team for Equestrian events, competed in 3-day eventing and show jumping at the highest levels and spent most of my childhood around that scene; every female in my life from Mom to sisters to GFs has been an avid equestrienne; and the family has been involved in the bloodstock industry and the highest levels of horse racing for decades (horse farms in Kentucky and all) but maybe I should refrain from giving you any advice on riding boots since I would no doubt be over-ruled and corrected by She-who-knows-everything because clearly my experiences in that area do not coincide with hers. 😉

    Designer boots would be way down my list of priorities. And even then, you’d need more than one pair of boots because you would not want to be wearing them every day around the stables. When the time comes to splurge on boots, you can get way better custom boots rather than paying for the designer label. It all depends on what your overall budget for riding gear/attire is too. If you don’t have one yet, I would save up and spend the money on a really good saddle or saddles (depending on what kinds of riding you will continue to be doing) before I worried about boots.

    I have to say that all those nubile young females in tight white jodhpurs was one of SDinLA’s fondest adolescent memories.

  63. stephan says:

    Absolutely Acidbear aka Carebear! Glad you like the dancin! I spent waay obsessive me time looking for something worthy of a Michael Alleycat b-day wish from me… most of it was figuring out which to choose from, I stumbled upon the most interesting site filled with interesting ‘gif’s’ that I didn’t find obnoxious which surprised me.

    I completely agree with not liking gif’s – especially since most of my memories of them are also from the myspace days of those obnoxious ones I saw… I think we’ll see some great images & other unique and interesting things posted by sugars with the new image comment option.

    NJC LOVE the ‘Good Morning, Sugars’ pic!! Now that’s some great image content! Absolutely amazing and so perfectly done and high quality – it made my morning and it’s making me want another cup of coffee – here’s to my next sip to all ye sugas!

  64. Honey says:

    I like tall boots.

  65. Honey says:

    Dandy spawn, I already have two pairs of knock arounds. I won’t be buying my new boots for a few months yet, I need to get back into shape, I’ve been riding erratically. But I want to start eventing in the fall and want to fantasize about my wardrobe. That’s when I will be on my way to being finished with school and I want to get a horse. In this recession , they are cheap!! Sad to say,good for me, not too good for them. The clothes can cost more than the horses!! and I am okay with that.But I do love the horsey look, set, lifestyle. Esp. the boots!!!

  66. Spawn of Santa aka Dandelion Wine says:

    The detachable stuff are paddock boots with chaps.

  67. Honey says:

    hmm…maybe but the label may be too prominently displayed for me.It’s enough that I know they are gucci, I don’t like giving free advertisng…lol!
    Thanks for the shopping tip though, really. I usually let my boyfriends chose my clothes. All the others ones had great taste in clothes, my sweetie now is less concerned about those things.

  68. Spawn of Santa aka Dandelion Wine says:

    Honey, I would hold off on Hermes at least until dressage.
    If you are going to start showing/eventing, you are gonna need nicer boots, but for just practice and walking around in horse shit that’s really a waste of money. You can get something well-fitted and comfortable in a $300-400 range for field boots; $1700 pair of boots (unless they are fully custom) isn’t going to fit any better, and won’t look different either.

  69. Honey says:

    Thanks Cleo, I’m going to search gucci riding boot?

  70. cleo says:

    honey gucci makes a great boot where the part that goes around your ankle is detachable. my riding (jumpers also) client loves loves hers.

  71. cleo says:

    LASB: i just want to bang their collective heads and say something like “please, please, please stop messing with the women who still actually like men. please go find someone asking to be treated like a slut and be happy together. please, and i’m asking nicely, please stop getting my hopes up and then being a dick”

    maybe that is it, maybe they think we won’t notice that they’re dickheads if they give us some sweet talk first.

    you know i do a decent enough imitation of one for someone who doesn’t beatbox! i still have a shell server in my kitchen closet, running on (i’m serious) an amd k6-200 with 256mb or ram… lol

  72. Honey says:

    I ride english, doing hunter jumper now, used to do endurance and looking to dabble in dressage.
    So hermes, I think

  73. LASB says:

    Cleo – I just had your experience. Great convo, seems normal. Then suddenly, some sort of crass outburst. Is it like they want to be gentlemanly just long enough for us to think, “ok, this guy is not a complete d-bag, maybe I’ll meet him,” but they just can’t hold it in any longer?

    I can still hear that modem connecting sound in my head. It was so annoying, but you learned to like, it b/c it meant you “got through.”

  74. Acidbear aka Carebear says:

    Ahh there is my most hilarious comment! (twice actually because I’m an impatient brat)

    Thanks Stephan, I can exhale now and return back to living a normal life. =)

    BTW LOVE the video. I AM Regina George from Mean Girls, and anyone that tries to deny me that will end up like Janis or Damien.

  75. Honey says:

    and I understand that many here may not”get me”, but believe me I don’t “get” most of the world! Why be Normal?

  76. Honey says:

    English and aussie too!

  77. cleo says:

    LASB: talk!!! shell based irc!!! telling your modem it’s init string!

    (also dislike the animated gifs!)
    .
    missmilandc: ROFL! how funny is it that your iphone corrects THANKS to thanatos? *dies laughing*

  78. LASB says:

    Ok, I have to admit, I’m not a big fan of animated gifs. Maybe a bit too MySpace for my tastes. But then again, I came of age in the text-based unix era. Telnet anyone?

  79. carebear says:

    Its not a big deal, just ruining the comedic timing of my oh so hilarious jokes.

    Thanks stephan for being so sweet and putting up with me.

  80. stephan says:

    Beach Girl – I am soo glad to hear you’re doing great and that the journey is amazing! We absolutely should get back on our sugar cookbook idea! I found that email thread and will take it back up and restarte the fun!!

    Bela – Thank you so much, I’m gonna keep washing him outta my hair until all the haze is lifted forever! You are fab and make my day!

    Son of Statan aka Enigma SD – So glad those early days of SA mining for real SD’s in the CL midst was succesfull in bringing you here! You saw the ads on CL that used to go up until it CL made it pretty impossible for it to be effective I believe, a few years back

    Michael Alley Cat – Happy Birthday!!!!!!
    [img]http://i46.photobucket.com/albums/f115/stepsolar/happybdaymichael.gif[/img]

  81. carebear says:

    Damnit why is my comment being moderated. I don’t get it.

  82. Honey says:

    Don’t despair Dandy,there aren’t too many chicks that like sci fi, we have to stick together,even though that story was his most unlike sci fi story.. the veldt is one of my faves

  83. Spawn of Santa aka Dandelion Wine says:

    Honey, do you ride English or western?

  84. carebear says:

    Ok since I’m being moderated and blocked as acidbear, I’m reposting as carebear, her evil twin.

    In response to Bela’s motivating words, and in honor of establishing the dynasty that is the Great Name-Change Regime, I am changing my name to Acidbear. 

    This one goes out to all you Grateful Dead-heads. 

    For my first motion as Chair of the GNCR, I vote we replace the word “sketch” in the dictionary with the house-held term “craigslist”.  Ex: “Check out this SD’s profile, he is so craigslist.”

    Second, may I ask, SD Guru aka blog moderator, are you taking sides with SDinLA by applauding his spar with Spawn of Santa aka Dandelion Wine?  Just as Spawn of Santa aka Dandelion Wine and I were moderated for opposing sides with Lisa earlier this blog?  Since neutrality seems to be a characteristic held in high regard around here, I would hope those that have such regard maintain to stay so, in order to keep from any sort of aristocratic behavior from taking over the democracy that is the SA blog.

    I was also curious if stephan could answer my question. May we use the image capability to post penis pictures?

    And last, hope mr. Cat had a good birthday.

    Snapple cap trivia: The day after st patricks day is the highest volume day for the ‘morning after pill’ which would explain why there are so many december bdays.

    =)

    Honey, I don’t think anyone has any clue what you’re talking about. I’m noticing a striking resemblance to a certain spiritual baby.

    Ill be in the carolinas for the next week….should I create an impromptu sugar meet? I already have a group forming out of thin air, get my email if you want in.

    =)

    • stephan says:

      Hey Carebear (or acidebear I love them both!)

      I promise you haven’t been moderated intentionally by blog gods (even I shalt not give the blog gods alter evil ego’s for fear of lightening) – it had to be something in the comment text – I’m gonna check’s it out now and just know you and me both have been auto-filtered (when I’m not signed-in it happens to me) – I think some cleaning has to be done of the moderation que which might have too many words (which include ‘inside’ words) in it.

      Yeps I just confirmed that a comment from NJC got auto-filtered and a couple from Carebear did as well – sorry all!! I’m gonna fix this (btw, comments that included an URL were being blocked, and we also have quite a few IP addresses blocked from back in the days of certain spammers, but the problem is those IP addresses include certain numbers like ’21’ for example, which many people might use in a comment, but that comment would still be blocked) tho I’m going to clean things up and again, My appologies for all these comments being stuck in filter – shouldn’t be happening anymore now :)

      I think I restored the comments that got stuck in the filter but let me know if there not all they’re ya’ll.

  85. MissmilanDC says:

    *awww,Thanx, just yet….typing on the ipad kills me,have no idea how to turn auto-correct off

  86. MissmilanDC says:

    @Honey,aww Thanatos.No gossip just get,but I plan on going out with a pot this week :) I can’t wait !

  87. LASB says:

    DC – Hello!!!! Waving to you from across the country! Sorry to hear of your breakup, but it sounds like you’re doing great, which comes as no surprise to me as you have such an awesome spirit. Have a great meet! Sorry I can’t be there.

  88. Honey says:

    and any Sugars who ride? Horses, I mean. I’m looking for some new boots and am not sure where to start? Hermes?

  89. Spawn of Santa aka Dandelion Wine says:

    Honey, I may have more jade than the entire Chinese wing at the Met, but underneath this hard-shell exterior is a sensitive and poetic soul.
    Let me tell you about the heartache and the loss of God. Wandering, wandering in hopeless night… Out here in the perimeter there are no stars. :(

  90. Honey says:

    Missmilan, do dish, I’m here for gossip too!
    Maybe I need to move to DC all the SBs with that in their name seem cool!

  91. MissmilanDC says:

    Hello sugar fam :)….Extremely happy today.
    @DC, Hey girl….I’d love to chat with you.It feels wonderful outside,definitely need a few sugar sisters to gossip with

  92. Honey says:

    Dandy, I know this may seem funny, coming from me, but there’s method to my madness.
    Dandy sometimes you come off as mean spirtited, putting everyone down who doesn’t agree with your worldview. Maybe you don’t mean to come off this way. You sound too young to be so jaded.
    I invite you to share your experiences that don’t include putting anyone’s else p.o.v. down/ I think you are smart and quick and have a valid and interesting point of view to share. Show us the good side too.
    Not saying it is you,but another poster was talking about sbs stabbing other sbs in the back. I don’t want that here, I can get that anyplace. Fighting over a guy is so uncool… I’m already the baddest (and most modest) bitch in town, I don’t need to put another down!!! This is said tongue in cheek….mostly!!

  93. Spawn of Santa aka Dandelion Wine says:

    “People who have enough real world experience with the circles in question recognize that she doesn’t know what she is talking about”
    Pray tell, who would THAT be?!?! Surely you aren’t implying that all the established SBs and SDs that congratulated you cut their teeth in h-wood?

    I have another question – how come you can never justify your statements with your own reasoning and experiences, why do you always try to support your position by referring to opinions of someone else? I find that really funny and a little bit sad.

  94. BeelzebubinLA says:

    I would equate “Acidbear” with “LSDbear” rather than being acid tongued, but then what do I know, nothing I’ve experienced really exists…. kinda like Santa Claus you know.

    Carebear, I must have missed it because I didn’t see anyone giving you a hard time other than Honey, and I can’t make enough sense of what Honey writes at times to even be sure she was being mean to you. I don’t have any issues with you, you certainly don’t come here acting like a know-it-all, being pedantic and always having to have the last word.

    I hope everyone who dishes things out here, especially those that I engage in verbal jousts with, is thick-skinned enough and cognizant enough of the nature of online communication and how people can assume very different personas in the cyber-world to not take anything written in this blog too seriously. I think I try to use smileys regularly.

    Believe it or not, I’m actually trying to do DW a favour. People who have enough real world experience with the circles in question recognize that she doesn’t know what she is talking about- what’s the saying? “Better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool than open it and remove all doubt?” The number of congratulatory responses from established blog SDs and SBs my “I don’t like know-it-all” posts engendered, both on the blog and in private, speaks more loudly than any statistics I could dig up. It doesn’t take much life experience to realize that just because your experiences don’t dovetail with another person’s that it perhaps means you have not seen and don’t know it all, versus “I’m always right ergo that person must be called out for being wrong!”

    I’m pretty much done with this topic, and from now on will refrain from addressing said person’s tiresome behavior, just as I accept someone else’s venting. I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend.

  95. Spawn of Santa aka Dandelion Wine says:

    Acidbear, maybe the Psychedelic Sounds of the 13th Floor Elevators scare SD Guru?

  96. Beach_Girl says:

    Spawn of Santa aka Dandelion Wine~ HAHAHHAH well this year you didn’t do a good job lol I was cold all winter long lmao ( I am joking)

  97. Spawn of Santa aka Dandelion Wine says:

    NJC, Ray Bradbury is the man!
    And yes, I do come for Xmas, except I’m more in charge of the cookie eating. Sometimes I also bring coal. Gotta keep all you naughty people warm.

  98. Beach_Girl says:

    Lisa~ Hi, well it’s not warm here, but the sun is out which is nice!
    Have a great day everyone!

  99. carebear says:

    Ok so I can post under this name but not as my evil twin Acidbear even though carebear was the one that said all the mean things??

  100. carebear says:

    Anyone care to tell me why I’m stilllll being moderated? This is getting a little ridiculous.

  101. Lisa says:

    Good morning Beach Girl :)

    nice and sunny here too, a little hot, had to turn on the ac.

  102. Beach_Girl says:

    Oups!!! Hi everyone!

    Really sunny and nice here today, Wish I could enjoy it!
    Work awaits, have a good one!

  103. Beach_Girl says:

    Cleo AKA Devil’s Daughter~ I have no idea where all this devil talk comes from either… I am so out of the loop here, not sure who is who with all the new name changes (some changing their names because they are with a SD) it’s confusing!
    I agree that a SD or any man for that matter shouldn’t ask for a “Sexy” pic… I mean, I would pose nice and wear something low cut, but nudies???? No way!!!! You never know where those pics will end up. I don’t even think I would send them to someone I know well, never know what might happen in the future!
    Why do some SBs back stab other SBs for a SD???? so stupid…. The games are full on, sucks!
    Cleo AKA Devil’s Daughter~ I need to go see you for some hunting 😀 would be so awesome!

  104. No June Cleaver SB says:

    Dandelion Wine – Does being “spawn of SANTA mean you are coming on December 25th bearing gifts if the old man doesn’t make it down the chimney? Bwahahahha. LOL.

    Seriously though, I have been meaning to ask you….did you get your pseudonym from the Australian band? The actual drink? Or the Ray Bradbury novel? None of the above?

  105. cleo says:

    DW: clearly i missed some posts in my drunken stupor!

  106. Son of Satan aka Enigma SD says:

    One thing I would have done differently…. I would go without rather than settling for someone that wasn’t a great match. Nonetheless, I consider myself lucky to have found three great matches in five years.

  107. Spawn of Santa aka Dandelion Wine says:

    Cleo, everyone listened to ZZ Top’s song “Heaven, Hell or Houston” and it looks like there’s no one from heaven :(

  108. In response to Bela’s motivating words, and in honor of establishing the dynasty that is the Great Name-Change Regime, I am changing my name to Acidbear.

    This one goes out to all you Grateful Dead-heads.

    For my first motion as Chair of the GNCR, I vote we replace the word “sketch” in the dictionary with the house-held term “craigslist”. Ex: “Check out this SD’s profile, he is so craigslist.”

    Second, may I ask, SD Guru aka blog moderator, are you taking sides with SDinLA by applauding his spar with Spawn of Santa aka Dandelion Wine? Just as Spawn of Santa aka Dandelion Wine and I were moderated for opposing sides with Lisa earlier this blog? Since neutrality seems to be a characteristic held in high regard around here, I would hope those that have such regard maintain to stay so, in order to keep from any sort of aristocratic behavior from overtaking the democracy that is the SA blog.

    Third, Stephen, may I post all of my penis pictures on the blog now? This would eliminate endless emails with my board of governors of the GNCR and allow all members of the SA blog democracy to participate in the exchange of penis pictures.

    I hope you had a wonderful 49th birthday Mr. Cat!

    Snapple cap trivia: The highest volume day of the “morning after pill” is the day after St. Patrick’s Day. Also may explain why there are so many December babies =)

    All parties may caucus via email. I’m off to have a life now.

  109. NYC SB says:

    Thank you all for the kind words :)

    What I would have done differently? I guess not getting caught up in the fantasy and believing as much as I did when I was new. Thankfully I was not taken advantage of but I could have been. Oh and there was one offer that I should have most definitely accepted …

    Have an awesome friday everyone! I am going to double yoga tonight followed by a late dinner with my sd… Whom I will no longer neglect… Cuz he is super awesome, reliable and is so fun to be with … I’m lucky to have found him…

  110. Lisa says:

    Good morning Gail, darn I missed you again

  111. Michael Alleycat says:

    @Spawn of Santa (love the new name), RTB – thanks!

  112. cleo says:

    ohhh nice one!

  113. No June Cleaver SB says:

    All this devil talk reminds me of a favorite quote…“Better the devil you know than the angel you don’t” ~Hama Tuma

  114. No June Cleaver SB says:

    @Lily – No, I did not see your former blog. Funny. I actually did a google image search for “sexy june cleaver” and it was one of the photos that popped up! LOL.

    @cleo – I have been observing the whole “online sugar world” quite a bit lately and this is one area that I am a little disheartened by with the online method of sugar hunting vs. the IRL sugar hunting. None of my former SDs I met via IRL avenues were ever inappropriate. I mean EVER. We always reached a level of comfort in a very organic way – just like traditional dating – only with sugar. Sites like SA came around and sure, made this lifestyle a little more acceptable (and ACCESSIBLE), but also gave some men (and women) the impression somehow that because it’s ONLINE, manners go out the window.

  115. cleo says:

    okay i read the blog last night (while very drunk) and i’m not sure how everyone got to be related to the devil but geeze, what do i have to do to be the devil’s daughter? *grin*

  116. Spawn of Santa aka Dandelion Wine says:

    Alleycat, Happy Birthday!

  117. cleo says:

    er ‘the pose covers’

  118. cleo says:

    NJC: EXACTLY!!!

    not that i ever send anything that shows more than my bikini does, not to anyone. once those photos are out there they’re out there forever and i’m certainly not trusting enough to believe that a man will respect my discretion after he’s done with me.

    i could imagine some hot pics in lingerie where the poses are sexy and cute, or even ones with no clothing where the post covers the important parts… that sure, but nude with my bits showing?

    not a chance (okay maybe if i really really really really trusted him… but i still doubt it and have never once been moved to change the policy!)

    to a man i’ve never met in person? um.. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

  119. Lily says:

    NJC – have you ever seen my former sugar blog? Your avatar photo was part of my theme. :)

  120. No June Cleaver SB says:

    Missed you up there, Bela!! Hello to you, sweetie! <3

  121. No June Cleaver SB says:

    @Honey – no, I was not posting at 6:00 AM. Different time zone, hon.

    @cleo – Sorry about the douchebaggery you were just a victim of. At least he showed this color to you before you took the next step of meeting in person. I understand the whole “sexy photos” request to a degree – and only after you have reached a certain point of comfort level – but to disregard your entire conversation and just pop out that question is unacceptable!

    Son of Satan aka Enigma SD – Totally agree with you…Craigslist now is SCARY!

  122. cleo says:

    wow i have to say some “sd’s” can be so disappointing… there you are having a lovely correspondence mixed with the occasional phone call and suddenly, seemingly out of the blue after several days of really nice emails going back and forth he replies to your latest missive with

    “think you should send some sexy pics” and nothing else. no reply to any of the six things we were discussing in email (most of which was in reply to his comments and questions, nothing but that…

    *sigh* if you’re going to be a prick shouldn’t you just start out that way? why would you get our poor hopes up with your awesomeness, surely there is a girl out there looking to be disrespected, why do they bother with the ones who clearly have self respect?

    i don’t know if this is a real question or a rant…
    .
    anna molly did your mom get moved out of icu yet?

  123. Honey says:

    and to answer a question someone put to the board, how long have I been in the SL? What would I do different?
    I feel I was kinda born into the sugar world. After my mom was widowed by my dad she was a working sugarbaby. She worked full time graveyard shift so she could sleep while we were in school to take care of the two babies her husbands’ death left her with and serially dated until she met and married my stepfather. She was a true Goal digger and I guess my mentor, but I like to think that I put my own twist on it.I would have accepted money from boyfriends years sooner. I am the prideful type and pride myself on being able to take care of myself,turned down trips, and cars, beds,and proposals -I wish I had taken them a bit more sensitively….and sooner!

  124. Gail says:

    RTB~Yes….I’ll have some Irish cream in my coffee. I’ll be drinking on the job. I’ll justify it with…it’s Friday of course : ) Heading out the door…Later Sugars!!!!

  125. Son of Satan aka Enigma SD says:

    I actually found my first SB on craigslist…. shudder to think about finding one there now. I actually found SA when searching for my second on CL…. there were all sorts of ads on CL that were like the ad I responded to when I found my first SB, but this time they were ads for SA when I clicked on them. SA finally broke me down after about 20 views of messages, and the rest is history. SA stopped advertising on CL a few years ago I think.. Stephan??

    p.s. New moniker is in the spirit of last night :)

  126. Reach the Beach SB says:

    Good morning sugars!

    I don’t know if it’s good or bad that I don’t have the post St. Patty’s Day hangover…I’ll choose good as I add some Irish Creme to my coffee…It’s FRIDAY!!!! Join me Gail?

    Where has the Happy Lurker been with his beautiful prose? Are you out there?

    Happy B-Day Michael!!

    Happy Sugar-versary NYC SB. I always thought of you as sugar royalty :-)

    Sugar since Oct 09…1.5 years-ish. It never would have imagined getting THIS caught up in it all

    Finishing my homework during Spring Break so I can fully enjoy the weekend! Lawn furniture and fire pit are out…grill is ready…cooler is ready…bring on the fun!

  127. Honey says:

    Enigma-you go boy!!
    I like the new board, bitchy and catty, true, but still informative and fun!!!
    Hopping down to the coast to a bed and breakfast…
    June,did you post something here before six? 5:56 is disgustingly early!!! Are you often up early…cleaning..?lol! or is your time zone ahead of the board?

  128. No June Cleaver SB says:

    @Gail – Glad you enjoyed the coffee! :-)

    @Anna Molly – Happy to hear your mom is recovering!

    @Enigma SD – I have been sugar dating for about 9 years (maybe a little more actually…). It has FLOWN by! Like I said before, it wasn’t anything I intentionally sought; sugar always kind of found me! It was nice to discover a site like SA and realize there were so many others in this lifestyle and also discover I could now select my sugar! Your date sounds wonderful! Those “extended dates” are the best! Have a wonderful time!

    Good morning, everyone…lurkers and all!

  129. Bela says:

    SDinLA – While I love all of my sugar peeps, that was hilarious. WCSD and GenuineSD are so right.
    Carebear – You should TOTALLY change your name to that!!!!! Sure, it might be seen as being a bit scary but imagine the conversations you could start just from that  Plus it would be comical for someone to freak out by your name and then see your sweet face.

    While this new feature on the blog, I cannot wait to see what The Lone Gunman will post 

    Stephan – I hope the haze lifts completely for you. You are too fab!!!

    NJC – Nice pic 

  130. Enigma SD says:

    Hi all – -wow what a night on the blog! I have been sugar dating for 5 years and 2 months…. wow time flies when you are having fun! I am going on a 3day-2night sugar date next week in a major metropolitan city — can’t wait :)

  131. Anna Molly says:

    Congrats NYCSB! It will be two years for me in September 😀

  132. Anna Molly says:

    TexaSugah ~ Thanks :)
    My dad died when I was 2 and my Mom and I are very, very close. I have been beside myself with fear, but, she was supposed to be moved out of ICU yesterday. :)

  133. No June Cleaver SB says:

    Wow. I just read everything that was posted last night. I sure hope the blog can put away the tampons and Midol now! LOL. 😉

  134. Anna Molly says:

    Oh God! I had too much fun last night and I’m in desperate need of a hangover cure!

  135. Gail says:

    Good Morning Everyone!
    No June Cleaver~Thanks the coffee : )

  136. No June Cleaver SB says:

    [img]http://i1220.photobucket.com/albums/dd451/JuneCleaverSB/goodmorningsugarsfromjune.jpg[/img]

  137. Michael Alleycat says:

    Thanks Carebear, 49 again!! On St Paddys Day too, always a kick. Got a bit munted last night though ….

  138. Michael Alleycat says:

    Thanks Carebear, 49 again. On St Paddys Day too, always a kick! Got a bit munted last night though…

  139. Beach_Girl says:

    Stephan~ YES I remember that amazing night… so much fun! Every time someone talks about food here, I think about our convo! I’ve been great! working hard and learning, such an amazing journey that I am on!! At times hard, but so worth every minute!
    We should really consider our cookbook idea lol. it would be so much fun to do!!!

    Guru~ nice to see you on here!

    Good night sugars, I have an early morning and…. it’s already 3:30am… eeeekkkk

  140. No June Cleaver SB says:

    @Stephan – thank you for the photo explanation! I love being able to add images! You are the BEST!

    I am way too buzzed (from a night of heavy drinking celebrating with Irish friends) to comprehend half of what went down here on ye ole blog…but geeeesh…as I said, before, can’t we all just get aloooong?

    I am planning a HOT second date with my potential SD this weekend and that is what matters to me! Sweet dreams!

  141. TexaSugah says:

    Hey y’all

    Gail- girl I got caught up in a penny auction. They are like crack! Plus, had to read a bedtime story!

    Anna- sweetheart, I understand. Glad things are better. big hug!

    SDinLA- that was me.. I was the sugar trying to get Lisa local help.

    Kennedy- hey girlie. It’s late.. What was in the fedex package?

    Well, had good news for the board. Too much to read, too much drama.. I’m out.

  142. stephan says:

    I’ve been good, coming out of a haze from a serious relationship hangover (lasted about 2 yrs, odie well), but am great now! Miss our workings on the sugar cook book… “How We Sugars do it in the kitchen”. Remember some of the recipe ideas? ‘Sugar baby ramen noodle soufle, sugar daddy Cialis punch’ OMG the joy! How have you been sugar?

  143. Beach_Girl says:

    Stephan Nice to see you too sugar! how you been?

    • SD Guru says:

      @NYC SB
      Today marks the 2 year anniversary since I entered the sugar world! Time sure does fly!

      Congrats!! If you had to do it all over again, what would you have done differently? This is my 8th year in the sugar world. In the grand scheme of things it’s not that long, but in the internet age it’s an eternity. Maybe I should give “retirement” some serious thought…

      @SDinLA

      Please keep those posts coming!! :mrgreen:

  144. stephan says:

    Hi Beach! So good to see you 😀

  145. Beach_Girl says:

    Gail~ Yes, I am back in Canada, but lived in Cali for a long time. I still travel there at least once a year!
    Nice to see you too…
    Hi Stephan!

    good night sugars!

  146. stephan says:

    have sweet sugar dreams too Gail : )

  147. Gail says:

    I saw that. Long-time posters and lurkers sure have special blog posting abilities. : O
    Here now..gone in a flash…..

    Beach~For some reason I thought you were in Canada. Nice to see you by the way.

    Texas Sugah~ Now I know it didn’t take is long to read the info: )

    Good nite all. Have sweet sugar dreams : )

  148. Kindred Spirit says:

    Ah, I see, thanks.

  149. Dandelion Wine says:

    Honey caught Carebear’s joke about Soo Yin Previn or whatever her name was, that was adopted by Mia farrow while Mia was in a relationship with Woody Allen, and whom Woody Allen ended up marrying later, to the chagrin of Mia.

  150. Dandelion Wine says:

    Beach girl, crazy groupies do not usually have the disposable income to go to nice restaurants, and do not pass the face control at the clubs celebs like to frequent.
    Are we talking about something like Trousdale which pays people like Kardashians to make an appearance to drive a traffic of idiots or a ghetto-ish Le Deux that was getting Rihanna’s endorcement for a while? In that case yes, they are probably full of plebes showing their mammaries, but they are as well the target demographic of those places, if you know what I mean.

  151. Kindred Spirit says:

    Honey~ Oh ok, I kind of get that you were explaining how “Texan” you were with having a gun. I guess. Still….

  152. Honey says:

    Sorry Dandy, but I do judge, I may not say, but I judge….
    Going to bed- have to see a man about a horse. Night all

  153. Kindred Spirit says:

    Sorry Honey, I don’t -get- what you write at all. I didn’t get the “Mia” comment and I literally said outloud to the computer screen “what the f*ck??” at your mentioning having a gun. WHAT does that have to do with ANYTHING?

    *Shaking my head* Sorry, not being critical, dear, just…confused. Maybe it’s just me, but it leaves me scratching my head. O_o Maybe it is cultural differences…however while I’ve been told I’m pretty open-minded, your posts just sometimes throw me totally off. Maybe proof-reading, at least reading your posts once through before posting may help to make it a little clearer as to what it is you are trying to get across?? Gun? Sorry, just can’t comprehend the significance of mentioning that to the blog.

    That said, it is indeed interesting to read about all the differing opinions and personalities. Quite entertaining, and -always- insightful with the great tips and such! :)

    PMSing-blog indeed, ha! 😀 Good one.

  154. Dandelion Wine says:

    Honey, that’s because we are the that uncle that gets drunk and tries to grab everyone’s ass (male AND female) and take someone home. Don’t judge!

  155. Beach_Girl says:

    DW~ I disagree, LA is full of crazy groupies that would get thrown out of restaurants and clubs…
    I live in Cali and yes I have seen a lot of what SDinLA talked about!

  156. Beach_Girl says:

    Such an amazing convo, thanks for all the info on IRL hunting!
    I agree with Cleo that this convo is the most interesting yet… and packed with info, thanks everyone!

  157. SDinLA says:

    WCSD, GenuineSD et al, sometimes things just need to be said even if you know they won’t have any effect! 😉

    Good night everyone.

  158. Honey says:

    Carebear, I wasn’t meaning to be critical I meant Mia Farrow would not find that funny.That was my was idea of a joke. I don’t think you or Dany wine are the spawn of satan. I’m the devils little sister and I never saw either of you at the family reunions….

  159. stephan says:

    Hi TLG, very good point!! Before posting an image or gif, if you want to be sure it can’t be right clicked and subsequently traced to an IRL persona, be sure to use a hosting service not associated with information you wouldn’t want to be found (perhaps by using a ‘sugar’ photobucket account)

  160. Dandelion Wine says:

    Honey, what Carebear said :)

    SDinLA, while your analogies are funny, they don’t apply to this particular instance, they are not similar enough to make a parallel sentence construct, and they do not change the fact that celebs in LA are not a big deal and nobody is going to risk getting asked to leave a nice restaurant to walk up to an ugly old man and show him tits, just because 20 years ago he used to be hot and popular.
    But oh, I forgot, in your circles people carry huge wads of cash everywhere, and wealthy old dudes also have groupies that probably also just walk up to them and ask them to sign their boobs :)

  161. …when using the button to click on and add the picture to your post here, is the originatin url then obscured so that it cannot be tracked back to the original source?

    I would not be happy if I shared something from a web site I am involved with and then find that by right-clicking ‘properties’ the image could be traced to me, and subsequently my IRL persona.

    TLG

  162. sugarsugar says:

    Thanks Stephan!!! and RTB

  163. stephan says:

    @sugarsugar, Reach the Beach is right on about what happens when a standard (blue profile background) SD gets a message from a SB – “they know they have the e-mail, but are asked to renew to read it” – if they log-in to SA, or check their email, they’ll be able to see that they received a message on SA, but until they pay to upgrade to premium (orange profile background) they won’t be able to read it

  164. Reach the Beach SB says:

    Ooooohhh sugarsugar, that’s a Stephan question. However I think they know they have the e-mail, but are asked to renew to read it. I’m not absolutely sure though.

  165. Ms. Taken says:

    @SDinLA: I always think… please people don’t engage…don’t engage…DOH! and was thinking the same thing this time until you engaged and, man, what an understandable vehicle for this particular delivery. Ugh… it’s an STFU whose time has come. Bravo and thank you, kind Sir.

  166. stephan testing image comment uploads says:

    @NJC – oops, when I originally posted about being able to post pics & gif’s i didn’t even mention how it is doable now in the comments – there is now a link beneath each comment submission field that says “You can add images to your comment by clicking here.” – you were already on it before I thought well enough to announce that – and then your comment was auto-filtered for the ‘http’ part of the image link. Your comment has been placed where it would have gone if it weren’t auto filtered, with the jpg intact – I think the gif’s should work too :)

    BTW – there are sooo many great gifs that i think some sugars might like here: http://gifparty.tumblr.com

  167. texasugah says:

    What happened now?

    Gotta scroll up… BRB

  168. Reach the Beach SB says:

    Carebear – ((((HUGS))))))

    Sorry to have to ask, but I don’t know if that was a Carebear funny or Carebear not funny? Tensions are high, but we have to work through it…kinda like stupid family. We love ya!

  169. sugarsugar says:

    Hi everyone:

    Just popping my head in for a quick question. If a man at SA had an orange profile (paying member) for one month and it just turned blue and I e-mailed them, can they read the e-mail or do they have to re-establish their membership to read e-mails? Do they even get notified that they have an e-mail?

    Thanks!

  170. Carebear says:

    Ok people, my name is freaking carebear, not spawn of Satan acidbear. How mean can i possibly be? If anything, everyone else has ganged up on me and dandelion lately and we have bonded from feeling like the outcasts of the group. I cant speak for her but i myself have never really been understood by many =(

    I thought this was the group that prides itself on being accepting of all types of personalities and quite frankly I’m feeling a bit rejected these days.

    And Its a freaking joke. Laugh a little jeez! Dictionary.com, or for the ‘under 30 crowd’, as that is where honey has decided to draw the line, urbandictionary.com.

  171. Honey says:

    Sd in LA what does the SD stand for Sugar daddy? and you use the queens spelling colour for color. Was that just the language from the text you grabbed to make your dead on impression of sometypes that frequent blogs or are you from farther shores?Speak English , I can’t understand you!! lol!

  172. Honey says:

    Carebear, play nice! Mia does not find that funny. I do, but that is besides the point, because I am serious. I’m want to bond with everybody here.I’m in Texas,Houston, to be exact and yes, I have a gun, I’m from Texas! They issue you one as you cross the border. I want a horse, I’m in Texas from Michigan originally, moved down here when I was a wee lass. I thought that we would HAVE to get horses if we lived in Texas, maybe ride them to school..was heartbroken to find it not so.talk about conveying expectations…

  173. Carebear says:

    Dandelion is 16, lives in Cambodia, and is seeking the perfect Sd to adopt her and turn her sex slave, woody Allen style.

    I’m allowed to speak for her.

  174. GenuineSD says:

    SDinLA. Bravo !
    But I’ve got to agree with WCSD….

  175. Honey says:

    Dandy -if I may call you that, what IS your story? Where are you headquartered at? How long you been doing this? on here and in the sugar lifestyle? Over or under thirty…is that allowed? to ask for age?

  176. WCSD says:

    SDinLA – Bravo…..clap, clap, clap!! (but as you already know, it won’t make a lick of difference….)

  177. China_doll_DC says:

    (DC): hey girl I’m interested. Exchange emails please?

  178. Gail says:

    ROLF…You have a wicked sense of humor SDinLA. Thanks for sharing. I am sure sharing is caring : )

  179. Honey says:

    OOh and art gallery openings! Usually there is free food and alcohol. Look in your little local paper, the ones you get a grocery store rack. Here we have the Houston Press and the Dallas observer. Artists receptions are extra great!

  180. Honey says:

    SD–lol!! too funny and I understand….

  181. SDinLA says:

    CB: I am PMSing big time, I can’t wait for menopause to get some relief 😛 😉

    Just as venting annoys some people, I get annoyed by:

    “I was just outside and it’s such a nice day out, the sky is an amazing shade of blue!”

    “When I was in LA, it was cloudy, so I don’t know if I believe that.”

    “My son asked me what Pi was so I told him to use 3.14159 in his homework.”

    “Actually, Pi is 3.14159265358979323846264338327950288… if you teach him to only use 3.14159 he’s never going to become a nuclear physicist.”

    “Ugh, I totally fell asleep last night in the movie theater, I think have narcolepsy.”

    “Well, according to the NIH data I found at this link, real narcolepsy only afflicts 0.000675% of the population, so I doubt you are a narcoleptic, you were probably just tired. One shouldn’t claim to have disorders when they really don’t, it makes light of the problem for the people who really have it. Maybe you’re a hypochondriac.”

    “Aw, that’s such a cute puppy. I love chocolate labs, I think they are prettier than black or blonde labs, you hardly ever see any compared to the other colours, and I think they are less prone to congenital problems too.”

    “I just checked the AKC web site, and it says that in 2009, there were 423,856 chocolate labs registered, 518,207 blonde labs and 398,544 black labs, so you’re wrong, there may be more blonde labs than chocolate labs, but not by a huge %, and there are actually more chocolate labs than black ones. And Veterinarian Association’s web site shows NO difference in congenital issues between different coloured labs. You shouldn’t go spouting misinformation without checking the facts out first, what if Little Timmy wants to get a lab puppy in the least common colour and he comes here and reads your post?”

  182. Honey says:

    Happy Day All! If you aren’t irish this is your amateur drinking day!
    I think all the posts on the blog show how different eveyones expierience can be. You can’t judge a book by it’s cover. If u are just starting out and looking for a job, it can be hard to get to some of these places that have been mentioned here. I remember when I started< I could either buy a drink or pay for parking, didn't have the money for both. Some of those habots are still with me. I shopped sales for good classic style stores,ralph lauren, Ann Taylor, New york and Co and Vicky See's have good quality clothes.Boring I know, but you can get real far with a french cut white shirt and it lasts forever! You could work as a nanny(for rich people), or a hostess at an upscale bar or club. I volunteer alot. When I wasn't working and had the free time. Went to museums on the free days. Make sure you party in the "right " part of town. I'm not afraid to use coupons! Hang out in the nicer areas get a Gym membership in the ritzy part of town, 24 hour fitness is everywhere , but the one downtown might be a good start

  183. Dandelion Wine says:

    SDinLA, regardless of what you or I think about Britney and Paris Hilton, these are 2 very highly recognizable celebrities not too far removed from their sexual prime, which positions them to be more likely to receive excessive attention from general public than some aging/aged rockstar, a handful of whom I’ve also seen around LA, but didn’t bring up because I don’t think they would be good trend markers for the purposes of this discussion.

  184. Carebear says:

    I know what’s wrong. DUH!

    The blog is on it’s period.

    That would explain why everyone is so sensitive.

  185. SDinLA says:

    Oh noes, I feel a long reply coming.

    Little angel SDinLA on his right shoulder: you remember what it was like when you were in your mid-20s and knew everything, don’t you? That’s why you need to exercise some self-control here and not let that person annoy you, any more than someone who may be using the blog just to vent. Just don’t respond, man, don’t do it.

    Little devil SDinLA on his left shoulder: you can’t stand know-it-alls, have at it good sir.

    Oh well, what can I say, mea culpa, the devil made me do it…

    Hmm, so according to a certain muse’s weltanschauung, if their experience someplace is not as you describe it, it must not be believable.

    Let’s see, if said skeptic goes to San Francisco and her SD wants to go play a round of golf with her, where would they play? Maybe go up to Napa, or get the hotel or a friend to get them a tee time at the Olympic Club.

    The last time I was in SF and got dragged out on the golf course, it was at a private club right in the city with only 200 members, and I played with a relative who is one of those 200 and a famous PGA Tour star who was in town and had mutual friends. Oh and then I went and spent a week up in Redwood country at a private retreat watching former Presidents and CEOs of Fortune 500 companies dress up in drag and put on skits. But OH WAIT, that’s not what someone saw when THEY were in SF, so I guess all of those Summers spent up there with all of the family members who belong to that place must have been a figment of my imagination too.

    I don’t do the nightclub scene in LA anymore, got that out of my system when I was in my 20s and clueless. I was an investor in several of the hottest clubs here in the late 80s, not because it’s ever a good investment but because not having to wait to get in and having your own table anytime you wanted, and being able to get people onto “the list” was worth it to me at the time.

    Paris Hilton? That vapid horse-faced idiot? Who would pay attention to her? My grandfather was close friends with her grandfather and the families have known each other for half a century due to Barron’s founding an AFL/NFL team and selling it to people close to me. Her family are embarrassed to death by her but I guess a self-described muse might look up to her ability to make money with nothing more than an Internet sex tape, a big dose of narcissism, ample greed and a relentless hunger for self-promotion.

    It wasn’t a Rockets, it was in a popular, well-known deli/institution. But I guess since that’s not the LA DW saw it doesn’t exist. Incidentally when my partner expressed awe at the events I described, said rock star said that we would not believe the kinds of places that stuff happened to him.

    I’m a massive skeptic, so I sort of understand, but really, know-it-alls with limited life experience are quite annoying.

    Does this get me a time out, blog gods? 😛

  186. No June Cleaver SB says:

    I want to upload a gif! Let me try a jpeg.

    Happy TWO year sugar anniversary, NYC SB!

  187. Dandelion Wine says:

    foodandwine.com/promo/classic-in-aspen/schedule.cfm#anchor_viewport
    Example of a good IRL hunting event.

    (Disclaimer: I don’t have any connection with it and I have no need or interest in going)

  188. DC says:

    philly, did you say you’re in the DC area? 4 of us blog SBs are getting together this saturday for a girl’s night. would you like to come out with us?

  189. DC says:

    happy st patty’s day everyone!

    happy sugar anniversary nyc :) time really does fly.. i got into this scene fall of ’09, so my anniversary date is approaching within the next several months as well. o.O

    cleo, you have a good memory babe! 😀 i did indeed quit my job.. it was wonderful. i actually am not working again. my guy helped me with my grad school and i’m now in grad school fulltime. around when i met him i was working on scoring a really great scholarship, which i did end up getting last year – and as a result tuition, stipend & books are paid for. before we broke up however, i began to make sure i set myself up to be able to live completely independently again. it was a little bit of an adjustment when you factor in zero allowance and change your lifestyle accordingly. but i don’t mind one bit. i actually love the independence again.. it was actually harder to break up when i kept receiving gifts, allowance, trips etc. because i felt like each thing i received i needed to stay and “make up for it” which is a terrible sort of attitude to have. but that’s how i felt.
    anyway. i am on a little budget now and happier than ever. :)
    i’m sure you will find the right SD soon.. heck, you maybe need a US or euro SD :) have you tried looking outside of canada?
    i feel like you’d be great with a euro SD… then you could get the added perks of traveling.

  190. NYC SB says:

    Wow !!! Stephan :) thanks you are so sweet …

  191. Dandelion Wine says:

    I am honestly amazed by how different is the LA SDinLA describes from LA I experienced.
    Celeb sightings are so common in LA nobody really gets excited. I was at the same venue with Britney about 3 years ago and even she wasn’t getting harassed. Ran into Paris Hilton filming some crap on the street – also nobody cared. The only people that ever get enthusiastic are losers from TMZ. Groupies showing their boobs at a concert – yeah, I can believe that (seen that) – price of admission to most concert ground is like $20-50. But groupies, especially very young women crowding a booth at a restaurant? Unless it’s like Subway or Johnny Rockets, I find it veeeeeery hard to believe.

  192. cleo says:

    SDinLa your second post was similar to june’s but not the same, i’m glad you both posted!

    anyway, i like the idea of a driving range, i had sort of thought they would be better in the afternoon when the ‘plebes’ are still at work, but you think evening? i am thinking you would know! (or does evening mean like 4pm?)

    oohhhhhhhhhhh auctions! i can totally get into those, or at least the viewings and stuff before hand! there’s even a sotheby’s outlet *grin* in toronto… and i could stand a better connection into our local art scene anyway.

    i’ve been volunteering to sell 50-50 tix at raptors/leafs games and that gets me in to the suites but i have to leave too fast to capitalise on anyone i meet. that said, i see from even that that you’re totally right, it’s just a matter of finding the right charity. maybe i’ll start asking these financial types i meet out freestyling to whom they donate…

    the women in toronto are desperate and thus rarely make the men treat them well. there is something like 17% more single women than men in my age group and an enormous “undeclared” gay population as well. so you get these women with fear in their eyes and barely any clothes on who throw themselves at any guy who looks at them twice. [we won’t mention the other half who dress terribly, hate men and gain weight – it’s pretty tragic]

    i am finding that by looking for the high end restaurant bars in the financial district and dressing super sexy business elegant (as in no cleavage but lots of form fitting) i am at least meeting the right kind of people (and getting clients to boot!) there are also 80% fewer women in the ‘bastions of maleness’ than there are anywhere else, consequently the treatment is significantly better in that environment!

    mostly here though if you go to the ‘meet market’ bars *shudder* there will be hordes of desperate women and a bunch of men standing around looking cocky. it’s an odd town to be an sb in but somehow this very desperation convinces me that a women with poise and elegance and an utter lack of desperation will stand out.
    .
    can i just say that this is by far the most useful discussion or irl sugar i have ever seen on this blog and i want to thank everyone who is participating? awesome stuff here, some so simple you feel silly for not thinking of it and others a lot more subtle and fundamental nonetheless…

  193. stephan says:

    NYC SB – On behalf of many many sugar bloggers, Happy 2 year Anniversary in the Sugar World! Thanks for all the comments and fabulous blog you’ve given the sugar fam over these 2 years!

    Muse baked these special for you…

    [img]http://i46.photobucket.com/albums/f115/stepsolar/cookiesp1-2.gif[/img]

    btw, you just received the first reply that contains a gif.

    Commenter’s lives will never be the same.

    [sugar bloggers can now post images and gif.’s in the comments!! To add an image or gif to your comment, click the new link that appears beneath every comment submission field :) ]

  194. NYC SB says:

    Today marks the 2 year anniversary since I entered the sugar world! Time sure does fly!

  195. PhillyBlu says:

    Thanks everyone. I appreciate the feedback. June, Im gonna keep the LTR, only cuz that is what I want. If it chases someone away then thats what it was ‘sposed to do. (HA HA HA) I will replace spoiled with your phrase, but if you knew me, youd know that i am ROTTEN. LOL my ex turned me into quite a handful. Tee heee heeeee

  196. No June Cleaver SB says:

    AM – I’m a little Irish too so will be partaking in some green beer drinking this evening as well! 😉

  197. Anna Molly says:

    RTB ~ I’ll have more than one honey 😉

  198. Anna Molly says:

    NJC ~ I know what you mean about the blog.

  199. Reach the Beach SB says:

    Great suggestion ladies…Thank you!

    AM – Enjoy and have a DD! I’m home tonight, so have one for me!

  200. Anna Molly says:

    I need to write a new profile..

  201. No June Cleaver SB says:

    Yes, yes…what cleo said!! See what happens when we all work together? 😉

    Gosh, been off for a couple of days and this blog is so addicting! I can’t imagine if I didn’t work! I would be a full-time SA blogger. Can I sell ads on my posts and get paid per click? LOL.

  202. cleo says:

    “… and have a true understanding of what an arrangement can be!”

  203. Anna Molly says:

    RTB ~ Well, since I AM part Irish, it is a rule that I have to get drunk off my ass today and green beer will play a major roll in helping me achieve that. 😀

  204. No June Cleaver SB says:

    @PhillyBlu – what a beauty you are, indeed! Gorgeous skin! My suggestions:

    * First sentence: replace spoiled with “and I appreciate the finer things in life.”
    * I would take out any mention of LTR at all. That will chase some SDs away for sure!

    I think the rest of it is fine. You are very direct and to the point while showing your personality too!

  205. No June Cleaver SB says:

    @RTB – checked out your profile and you are right…it is far from generic! Nicely written, sassy, flirty with the right touch of seriousness. My small suggestion below:

    Have you considered maybe changing your closing sentence where you use the words “sugar world” to something less candy sounding? I only say that because in my observations, we bloggers use that type of terminology so frequently, we forget that many, many others do not even peruse the blog at all and aren’t accustomed to that type of verbiage and might even be turned off with the use of such a word. (I don’t know…blog SDs, your thoughts on this?) Maybe change it to: “I’m sweet, passionate and have a true understanding of what an arrangement is!”

  206. PhillyBlu says:

    Hi AnnaMolly. Thanks for the warm welcome!

  207. PhillyBlu says:

    I modified my profile and stuff but it will take a while to be update… Also checking on cropping my pic. LOL I took it an work!

  208. Reach the Beach SB says:

    SDinLA – Yes it is. Thanks!!!

    Hi AM! Where’s that green beer?

  209. SDinLA says:

    RTB: will do, happy to give you my $.02 Is your email the same as it used to be?

    To follow up on your observation re: big yachts, for all SBs scoping out potential SDs near the ocean, check to see what the little boat they pull up to the restaurant dock says on it. If the RIB or smaller boat they arrived in says “T/T something” on it, that means “Tender To” a much larger yacht that is anchored offshore.

    Hope everyone has a wonderful day.

  210. PhillyBlu says:

    THANKS so much reach the beach. I will take out the first paragraph. Any other opinions?

  211. Reach the Beach SB says:

    *Take* anything negative out of your profile. Also forgot to mention trying to crop those pics in such a way that it’s less obvious you are in a bathroom. Picaso is a free photo-editing software available online if you don’t already have one.

    SDinLA – I’d appreciate your point of view..one of my posts has a link to my profile. It’s different from the one you’ve seen in the past.

  212. Anna Molly says:

    Oh, sorry, PhillyBlu. I swear I’m not drinking, well, not yet anyway…

  213. Anna Molly says:

    Welcome to the blog PillyBlu!

    Ms.Taken ~ Glad you enjoyed my rant..lol 😀

    Hi everyone 😀

  214. Reach the Beach SB says:

    Philyblu- A few suggestions…I love the pic of you in the car, the full length and the one where your hair is curly…three should be enough and these really show you off! Taken anything negative out of your profile. I realize you’re trying to screen people out, but the ones you’re trying to screen won’t read your profile anyway. Sad, but true. I would remove the entire first paragraph of what you want. Admitting your new can invite people with less than honorable intentions trying to take advantage of your newbie-ness. Talking about how your previous man spoiled you is a delicate conversation and better off done in person (see Ms. Taken’s approach above). This can be mistaken as entitlement and turn many men off. A gentleman can see by your character, poise, and mannerisms how you should be treated and will follow suit. Lead by your actions and you will find what you want.

  215. SDinLA says:

    Gah, should have caught up on the new posts before posting.

    NJCSB: Sorry for repeating much of what you wrote. Excellent advice. 😉

    The one time I met a few people off this site out of curiosity, between SBs a few years ago, I drove the Prius to meet them precisely for that reason- I didn’t want to be judged for pulling up in a Ferrari or chauffeured Rolls.

    Re: claiming to be drama free being a profile red flag, it gets to the point where I kind of don’t even notice adjectives when I am reading profiles. With any kind of online profile, everyone claims to be intelligent and plays up their positive attributes. I have yet to see a profile on any dating site, sugar or regular, that states, “below average intelligence” or even “average intelligence.” If I were looking for a SB online, I think I would steer clear of profiles containing “spoiling” or “treat me the way I deserve to be treated” or anything hinting at entitlement.

  216. PhillyBlu says:

    Thanks No June Cleaver! I am hoping for the best. Im going to slowly get to know him because i actually wouldnt mind dating him for real. (I would never say that to him though. Not this early.) I can tell by our first couple convos (email, IM and tele) that we click!

  217. PhillyBlu says:

    @NJC I agree. I barely have time for my own personal life, let alone more than one SD. I want ONE, which i stated on my profile. I never used “serial” on my profile. But you prolly noticed that when you checked it out! LOL

  218. No June Cleaver SB says:

    Oh…PhillyBlu…forgot to say BEST OF LUCK with the handsome potential who is your age!! :-)

  219. No June Cleaver SB says:

    @PhillyBlu – ah, I totally see what you meant now. I would still not say it. It sounds more like you are wanting more than one SD – which isn’t a bad thing. It’s more choice. Some sugar babies like to have more than one SD. I personally barely have time for one and treat my arrangements just like I would a traditional relationship so I choose to just have one SD at a time. it really is CHOICE…but I still wouldn’t use those words. Hope this was helpful.

  220. PhillyBlu says:

    Ok. well, it isnt on my profile and never was. I only used that word in my posting on this blog…

  221. cleo says:

    moon patrol: so long as you’re not pining i think it’s fine. once you actually move on something then you have to play it out until it’s time to stop…

    good luck!
    .
    No June Cleaver: that’s it, how is it my fault that he freaked out that i didn’t answer his email for six whole hours? i mean please! lol

    oh, oh what a terrific idea! thank you!
    .
    reach the beach: thanks! it was one of those accidental realizations that hit me like a sack of hammers. kind of like “d’uh!” lol – business is picking up btw, at the depths i was working about 20-25% of optimal (which i had been working a couple of years ago) and now i’m back up to 50-60% which means that my head is above water.

    the best part is, the strategies i am implementing to market myself will propel me into having a waiting list if i just keep doing them. that will be SO AWESOME!

  222. No June Cleaver SB says:

    @SDinLA – we were essentially giving cleo the same advice at the same time! What’s that saying about great minds…..? 😉

    @PhilllyBlu – I would advise you don’t say “serial sugar dating” – it can be viewed as a negative for sure. I had an SD once who said he was turned off by SBs who made this lifestyle their “business” and that is how serial sugar dating might be perceived.

  223. PhillyBlu says:

    I went back and read my post with the “serial” reference. I dont mean more than one at a time, I meant living the sugar lifestyle. (which over time would mean more than one)

  224. PhillyBlu says:

    @ NJC Well, no I dont. I dont think. LOL I havent thought about it. I want one good one, or several “so-so” SDs. Maybe I should take that off. you think?

  225. SDinLA says:

    cleo: no worries. The S.O. is out of the country so I have more free time than usual for the blog. You don’t have to be in Palm Beach to find polo matches, trust me. You can go to golf driving ranges in the evening to practice your game, I hate golf but almost every rich guy I know plays, and they do go to public driving ranges in the evenings when they are bored, or want to work on something that came up earlier in the day in their round.

    Thought of a couple of other things. Art galleries. Try to attend openings and shows. Auctions. Those would all be places I would look, and you get to check out some good/interesting art even if you don’t meet any potential SDs.

    Also get involved with some causes. Most organizations are chronically short on volunteers. Fundraisers and events organized for non-profits are a good place to meet people. But you have to be selective since you don’t want to be at the events with lots of earnest but broke young guys. If you volunteer with a non-profit you might end up being one of the people helping the attendees at a big $ fundraiser find their name tags and table number at the entrance. That kind of thing can be an opportunity to chat with lots of people of means, although typically the single guys will have a date and the married guys will have their spouses accompanying them, so that might not be the best opportunity for what you seek. Political fundraisers too.

    I don’t know about Toronto, but a lot of the women here are pretty aggressive/predatory. I don’t think you can expect much success as a SB at these events if you’re too timid, attitude counts. For example, not SD related per se, but I was at a dinner once with the notorious front-man for a famous band, and his business manager. This guy is no youngster or looker, and shows all the signs of his 30-plus years of drugs and partying, but obviously his fame still attracts the groupies. During the course of a 3 hour dinner, amongst the myriad autograph seekers that came up to the booth, there were at least a dozen hot young things (none of whom were even born when his band got started, not even close), a number of whom flashed him (and the rest of us) just to show off their “assets”, several of those women asked him to sign their boobs, pretty much all of whom indicated that they were available to go back to his hotel with him after dinner, and even one who winked at me and said I could take her home too when she was turned down by said rock star. But that’s L.A. for you. Southern California is also different from many other places because you can’t judge people by what they are wearing/driving. I’m as guilty of that as anyone, I’m as likely to be out in sweats with no expensive watch/accessries as I am to be in designer clothes, and depending on the valet/parking situation sometimes I will drive the Prius.

  226. Honey says:

    Urbane not urban, but, I am in Montrose, which is in the center of Houston.

  227. No June Cleaver SB says:

    @PhillyBlu – Welcome! As RTB said, there is a ton of useful information on this site and the blog is just a wealth of knowledge. Mostly, be yourself and go into the date with confidence and treat it as you would a normal date. Just remember, the sugar lifestyle is very much like regular dating without the traditional day to day relationship management to worry about. Also, when you say “serial” sugar dating…do you mean you want more than one SD?

  228. No June Cleaver SB says:

    Oh, YES, Dandelion Wine, you are SO correct in saying the “cover” means so much more than the clothes! As you said, “You can certainly tell a man of power and comfort by the way he acts and carries himself.” So very, very true and thanks for elaborating on that!

    @cleo – What you can do is find the names of the charity organizations/foundations and call them up asking for their event schedule and then offering to volunteer at those events. They are always looking for volunteers to greet people and check the VIP list or to handle ticket sales, raffle tickets, etc. Often times, you can do this under your business name and they will list your business name in the brochure under “thanks to our volunteers and/or sponsors”. So there you go – you can create brand awareness and IRL SD hunt at the same time! Talk about killing two sugar cubes with one stone! 😉

  229. Honey says:

    Happy St. Paddy’s Day all! Liking the new topics!! Helpful!!I try to go to the same places when I am meeting potentials and I tip extra.that way the next time you come in everybody already knows you and will show you the off the menu specials and other attentive things(like maybe squeezing you in ahead of other, less well known customers) and it makes the first date more special. Plus he’s going into your familiar territory,giving you a slight edge on impressing him with how knowledgeable, worldly and urban you are!

  230. cleo says:

    i feel the same way towards ladies who feel obliged to state on their profiles that they are ladies and expect to be treated as such. your profile should imply that but if it states it outright my brain inevitably goes “that’s no lady”

    with regard to irl hunting, i know that in toronto there are all sorts of private places where the wealthy play because there is a pretty big wealthy community here… what i don’t know is how to get in the doors. i didn’t grow up here going to private school so i just don’t have that automatic entree that the local girls who grew up rich would have…

    i like the idea of picking a likely venue and taking a lesson as i can afford it, this allows me to sit in the bar and use the facility for likely the day (and maybe i can choose places where you do get day use with a lesson)

    i do visit the bars at high end hotels and in the financial district but in some ways i’m fully aware that these are better places to find clients than sd’s. it’s too hard to tell who is a clothes horse and who is a ceo…

  231. PhillyBlu says:

    BTW the first pot I mentioned (the one who is new to this) is local, and he isnt Brazilian, nor is he my age. LOL

  232. PhillyBlu says:

    He gave me his whole name…. I havent verified yet. He’s very private. And thats cool So am I. I havent given my name yet! LOL But the best part is, he’s my age and handsome. YAY. Keep your fingers crossed. Oh my ID is 597072

  233. Reach the Beach SB says:

    PhillyBlu – copy the url from your “preview my profile” page and past it in the website portion of the comments. This will link your name to your profile. REMEMBER…this is a public blog, so if you don’t want just anyone to click through to your profile, then ask SA to give your e-mail to some specific sugars for feedback. Also, do you want the feedback on the blog or via e-mail?

    So far, you’re on the right track! Has he given you any information to help verify who you are meeting?

  234. Enigma SD says:

    Hi Carebear :)

    Phillyblu — post your profile number or put it in the website link and we can take a look.

  235. PhillyBlu says:

    Hi Reach the Beach! Thanks for the warm welcome. I did tell him I had been researching and would let him know what I found out. He seemed nervous. LOL Does anyone mind taking a look at my profile, and giving me pointers? Ive been successful at getting bites so far, and I want to know if I can improve my chances of meeting quality. I spoke on the phone with a pot yesterday we vibed really well. He lives in SoBe and mentioned me coming down. I said I would rather he come first. He said that was fine and wants to get to know me better. I feel the same. Be’s Brazilian. I actually can not wait to meet him and flying to Miami wouldnt be too bad. Specially coming from the DC area.

  236. Dandelion Wine says:

    I second everything NJC said, especially the don’t judge a book by the cover. But I would elaborate on it in a way that “cover” in this case is just the clothes. You can certainly tell a man of power and comfort by the way he acts and carries himself, just get attuned to reading that energy and you will never be fooled by an impostor or scoff at someone because their personal style isn’t to your liking. Another reason I emphasize the importance of being treated with respect is because successful men KNOW that they are more likely to get the results they want if the other person is not made to feel like a lesser being not in control of her choices.

  237. Reach the Beach SB says:

    Welcome PhillBlu! My first SD and I were both new to sugar dating when we met. I came to the blog my third day on the site and it was a wealth of information! When he and I first started talking, I suggested he look at the past blog topics for more information. He did, and everything went smoothly. Setting expectations is so important and saves a lot of time. What do you want out of this? What does he want out of this? How can both of you achieve your desires? You could start with “I did a little research and things look very intriguing in the sugar world. Did you know…” and see if that kick starts the conversation. Otherwise just be your charming self that gained his interest in the first place!

  238. PhillyBlu says:

    Hello Ladies. I am new to the site and “serial” sugar dating. I recently got out of a LTR with a man, who I guess was a sugardaddy. but He was my boyfriend. Wanted to marry me, but I just wasnt ready. SO we broke up and now Im used to the way he spoiled me! LOL Thats why i find myself here. I am having dinner tonight with a pot SD. He has never done it before and neither have I. Any advice on how to lead the convo tonight?

  239. Bela says:

    NLC – You’re more than welcome to it. There are more that I’ve found along the way, but most things aren’t worth the extra muscles or tears so I don’t bother.

  240. No June Cleaver SB says:

    @Bela – Totally love, love, love your time to cry allotment table! Completely stealing that!

  241. No June Cleaver SB says:

    @RTB – Oh goodness, no…I wasn’t implying your profile is generic at all. (In fact, I will view it now. :-)) That was a general statement that just happened to follow my response to you about ‘no drama’.

  242. Bela says:

    Thanks sugar fam! I have a while until the next date with pot #1. I hope it works out because his location is perfect and we get along well. At the same time, I won’t stress it since I know things will happen if they’re meant to.

    Anna Molly – I’m glad to hear your mother is doing better. I hope things stay that way. Hugs!

    NJC – I love the body language post. It’s actually fun and takes away a big part of your stress when you go to a new place.

    Chemistry – Chemistry is not important to everyone. I think it stems from what an SD/SB’s goals are regarding the arrangement. If an SB is mainly looking towards accumulating financial independence or luxury items, a lack of chemistry may not be an issue. If an SB wants the finer things in life, but really wants to find a companion or mentor, chemistry could be very necessary.

    Drama – I know that there are elements of life that one cannot help. Events happen that are not planned and can throw your life off track. What becomes dramatic is how we handle ourselves during those events. Being a woman, I personally reserve the right to cry or pout about something for an allotted amount of time.
    – Car breaks down and will cost $1,000 to repair = 2 hours
    – I get stood up for a date = 1 hour plus two cocktails
    – Huge work project is thrown on my lap = 30 minutes
    – The perfect dress isn’t available in my size = 5 minutes

    Distance – I also vote for the travel/distance screening box. I love to travel, but I know how expensive it can become when my SD wants to see me once a week and I’m a plane ride away. I travel for work, so I always have a suitcase packed and ready (so very James Bond!)

  243. Reach the Beach SB says:

    Hi NYGent!!!!

  244. NJC- My profile is far from generic (I hope), but I will make that change. I welcome any constructive comments on what I should add/ remove. Just click through my name.

  245. No June Cleaver SB says:

    @RTB – I have heard from more than one SD that they steer away from profiles that claim to be ‘drama free’. It is one of those…should go without saying kinds of things. The same thing with “family is important to me.” Well, duh, of course they are! I stay away from pointing out those things because they just aren’t unique! If you don’t want to be generic, then don’t write generic.

    @carebear – I have some SD friends who will intentionally driver their “other” (aka: clunker extra) car to first dates to see how the SB reacts when he doesn’t pull up in a noticeably expensive car.

  246. carebear says:

    Ahem, is this thing on??

    Happy Birfday Mr. Cat!!!!

    Hey looky there, Enigma’s back.

    And I use the same screening technique, if the profile mentions “drama”, I drop the word “no” from in front of it and take that as a pivot point for some sort of crap I don’t have time to deal with.

    And in regards to judging a book by its cover, and following up on Enigma’s rich friends in their pick up trucks……my SD is very successful, owns several properties, has a lot going for him, and has done an excellent job taking care of me. However, his car at his home located near me is a 199-something toyota something….I’m not even sure if its technically still a car, but he doesn’t believe in investing money in cars because they deppreciate so quickly, and I can respect that. I rode in it once completely wasted as he was sort of rescuing me, and every other time we go to do something, he will hire a car and driver.

  247. Reach the Beach SB says:

    Good morning sugars! Great new reading with my coffee this morning!

    SDinLA and NJC- This is the first time I’ve really heard some valuable tips about meeting someone IRL. I will pass this information along to my new friend as well as keeping it in mind when I try to visit my sugar friends in Chitown soon. I particularly love the idea of putting out the right vibe when you’re picking out the right wine!

    NJC – It’s so true about not judging a book by it’s cover! I grew up in S. FL where people with their Super Yachts anchor out a bit and bring their “toy” boat to the docks at the 5-Star restaurant where I was serving. They looked like anyone else down for the winter. I had a great time after my shift sharing the best champagne and learning about their world. I must have looked wide-eyed…eighteen and naive.

    Enigma – It sounds like I need to take “drama free” off my profile. I didn’t realize it could have the opposite effect.

    Cleo – I love, love, love using the IRL tips to find new clients for your business…Go get ’em!

  248. No June Cleaver SB says:

    @Enigma SD – Isn’t it funny the whole “I’m DRAMA FREE” comment? I feel the same way in that it implies they have had some sort of over the top drama in their lives, which drives them to write that in the first place.

    I actually went to dinner with a potential SD who kept reiterating, ABSOLUTELY NO DRAMA. So, I was curious to find out what his personal story was behind this. I found out his definition of drama were SBs who always needed help with something and always had some sort of financial emergency. Funny, because I, personally, wouldn’t put that in the category of drama at all. I always feel drama is the girl who sends you a dozen or so text messages because she is needy…or whines when you don’t pick up the phone…or questions your every move. Asking for financial assistance doesn’t even fall into my mind as being DRAMA. (Unless it is an ongoing thing because she mis-manages money or something…then okay, I guess that could be drama related.) This potential SD I speak of was a bit condescending and not so much a gentleman. I got the impression he felt the whole world owed him something because he was wealthy so I could actually SEE him creating the drama just from his attitude alone, yet he shouts pretty loudly on his profile – NO DRAMA. Can’t stand those guys. Treating the whole world as if it works for you doesn’t suggest you’re special, it means you’re an ass. LOL.

  249. No June Cleaver SB says:

    @Enigma SD – LOL. I knew you meant boots! I like your idea of “travel” options being a category for profiles. And I think this is helpful on both sides. I don’t really look in my local area for SDs and am always willing and able to travel. It is nice to know when a SD is willing to cover travel or if he is adamant about local only! I started noticing a lot of men started closing their profiles with “local SBs only” or I saw some that stated, “Willing to fly the right SB in from another location.”

  250. Enigma SD says:

    NJC — I also find drama queens/kings never admit or recognize being a drama hound! In fact, I have grown to be wary of SBs who put in their profile…. things like I am drama free and do not tolerate drama… usually means they have been at the center of a lot of drama in the past…. perhaps my sampling is wrong but it is a perception of mine – kind of a red flag.

    p.s. mean boots not boos in the post above

  251. Enigma SD says:

    NJC — great point on not judging a book by its cover. I have a couple of friends that are uber wealthy, and they drive older pickup trucks and spend most of their time in blue jeans and cowboy boos.. well and a shirt too.

    Kindred Spirit — there has been a lot of discussion on responding to an email or wink. I think it was about 50:50 — some people like a response, even if it is negative. Some people are happy with no response means no interest. I don’t think that is something that will ever get resolved. I am ok with either one, as long as the rejection note isn’t mean or judgemental — then I get POed!

    I think it would be a great idea if they would make a screening box on travel… like smoking or drinking habits…. could be…. will not travel, will travel when comfortable, will travel but not for first date, have passport and ready to jump on a plane! (or something to the effect)….. any thoughts SA — I know you just did a huge update to SA, but might be good for the next round :)

  252. No June Cleaver SB says:

    @cleo – Drama KINGS never admit they are and always want to point to the woman because, you know, we are ALL crazy after all!

  253. No June Cleaver SB says:

    RE: Meeting SDs IRL

    Before I learned of SA, all of my SDs were from IRL encounters. I never intentionally went out “hunting” for these men – they kind of found me. I learned along the way though. Some of MY personal notes below:

    Never judge a book by its cover – Don’t just zoom in on the men in Armani suits! Some of my wealthiest sugar daddies approached me in casual get-up. In fact, one was in a horrid fishing shirt and those ugly fishing sandals. He was unshaven and holding a beer can in a koozie! I was sitting at a tiki bar having a tropical drink. He walked up, asked if he could sit next to me and offered to buy me another drink. We began talking and I found out he was on vacation. He then invited me to have dinner on his yacht that evening. I never would have guessed this man owned a yacht based on his attire that afternoon.

    “Fish where the fish are!” – SDinLA gave some great examples! My story above took place at a well-known resort in an area I was living in at the time where the more affluent would vacation. I wasn’t even there to “fish” for a sugar daddy, I actually liked hanging out there because it was full of strangers and other than the staff, locals didn’t really hang out there. I was having a rough week and pretending to be on vacation in my own mind! Other types of places to find IRL sugar daddies: local charity events (check your hospitals they are always holding black tie events), country clubs (sign up for one tennis or swim lesson), expensive hotels (bar area) and believe it or not, the wine section in the grocery stores.

    Important body language that will get you noticed – Always hold your head high when you walk into a room. Maintain great posture and never look like you are waiting for someone and try not to be fidgety. Always stay calm, cool & collected. It gives an aura of mystery about you. Make it known through your body language that you feel no obligation to stick around this place for the entire night, but you can and will if you want.

    @whitelillies – thanks, hon. I am truly, truly a lucky girl.

    @Kindred Spirit – I actually have never used the wink button, but I can share with you what one of my potentials told me. He said he felt it was inconsiderate not to at least make some sort of acknowledgment that he received the wink – whether he was interested or not. So it was just his idea of being a gentleman and in his own mind it was rude if he just ignored it. So I guess it really is different for each individual.

  254. Moon Patrol says:

    Cleo – Amen to that ! It ain’t worth it, but I still will pursue for another date and try to remain calm.
    I’m up late – good night..

  255. SD Guru says:

    Hello everyone! Unfortunately I haven’t been able to contribute to the blog as much as I have in the past. I have gone through some changes in my SB portfolio, I’m pursuing a new hobby, and I’ve been vacationing over spring break. Hopefully I’ll be able to participate more in the near future.

    To my fellow moderators, thanks for a job well done and keeping the peace!! At the end of the day we all want the blog to be an useful resource for its participants.

    @SDinLA

    It’s great to see you post again, you and I have a lot of catching up to do!! :)

  256. whitelillies says:

    Bela- Good luck with your next try, hope things go better for you! If not, there’s more sugar in the bowl.

    Lisa- I’m sorry to hear you were burned. Take care of yourself in the Texas sun!

    NJC- Just want to add to everyone being happy for you and your wonderful new man.

    Cali- I’m from PA too! I feel like a lot of men contact me just based on that, without even reading my profile, which very clearly states reasons why we’re not compatible. Out of curiosity, did you start your search before or after moving to CA?

    I know this was touched on in a previous blog, but have any college babies tried changing their age to older? I feel like I am attracting creeps who want someone young and stupid to manipulate. Then again, as our penis picture collections can attest to, creeps are attracted to lovely ladies of all ages. I recently had a pot, who I’m sure lied about his age, show up to the first meet with hearing aids. Which he then bragged were bluetooth hearing aids. He seemed set on a very young girl…and was not at all perturbed when he found out I went to the same school as his nephew. I don’t know how comfortable everyone else is having their sugar life that close to their professional/familial one, but that’s a little too close for me.
    Anyway, good night everyone! Sweet dreams!

  257. Kindred Spirit says:

    Ya know, I’d honestly prefer that if a man isn’t interested in me he need not say -anything- about my wink to him. The wink is an invitation to ask that person to let me know if he DID like my profile and IS interested in me, not if he isn’t. If he isn’t, I’d rather not know and prefer to have my wink ignored. When he goes out of his way to say something about “You’re too far away for the relationship I envision”, what’s the point? To be sure I never bother him again? (To be fair, at least when I glanced at his profile -after- that message, he had updated in his profile regarding location preference.) If I see that to begin with I don’t bother to even wink. If I’m extremely impressed by a profile, I’m moved enough to write, with yes, hopes of a response. The wink is more to feel the chemistry waters and see if there’s more mutual interest.

    I suppose what I’m getting at is that when my email says I got a message from a man on SA that I had winked at I get a bit excited to log onto SA to read the message, thinking it’s a positive response. So it’s a bit disappointing to then waste time reading “NO”. I already figure if they don’t respond to my wink or message, then they aren’t interested. Common sense. Not necessary to say so, unless they are used to getting unstable girls who bother them incessantly?? O_o

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    To the SA staff/volunteers/creators, all of whom I appreciate their time, maintenance, updates and efforts: how about a segment on the profile for a SD who is okay with the following or not to be able to mark to their liking: “Looking only locally, or within about 100 miles”, “Ok with outside the 100 mile range”, and “Ok with anywhere, including international SBs” (note that wording can be played with, but you can get my drift). So, they could check any of those if they wanted (I knew of one SD who specifically looked -outside- of his big city/state due to discretion concerns). Another way for SDs to express what they may desire most.

    For SBs, some are not as interested or unable to travel out of state regularly to see an SD…I notice some SD profiles state the gal must be willing to travel (meaning they are ok with out-of-state gals). Maybe SBs could have a similar profile status about that sort of thing, too, and what they’re cool with on location? Just thinking here….

    For example, I am very interested in and fine with flying out to see an SD (flying is a piece of the adventure for me!), or to have him fly in to see/meet me if he wishes. Or if he is going somewhere for business, I could fly in to spend some time with him where ever he is working.

    When screening profiles and locations, I rarely see this sort of issue mentioned, except for the few here and there that specify they want someone locally~ which is very helpful to me so as not to waste either of our time. However, if I message someone with -my- interest in him, there’s always, always that awkwardness of not knowing if they’d be alright with me being outside of their city/state. Of course, some amazing men are worth that risk, especially when their profile touches me in some way, and I just -have- to tell them and why…. 😉

    So, just brainstorming here. It’s a little category that may be helpful as a screening tool for all involved…I know I’d appreciate it. :)

    Comments, opinions, personal views?

  258. Dallasbaby says:

    I keep hearing about chemistry is what the sd wants but sadly for the most part with who I find emails me I have none . I sometimes get emails from hot guys who I might have chemistry with but for some reason I get the feeling they are just being players. Do we think Anna Nicole and Hef girlfriends seriously have chemistry ?

  259. cleo says:

    and even when you think you’ve actually agreed on everything you can still get tripped up by misunderstandings… it’s kind of amazing how differently two people can actually feel about a conversation they shared together.

    i know the spoil me a lot before i’ll get intimate with you girl and she sure gets what she wants. i do think that once you agree on allowance and pay it there is something to be said for a little ‘get on with it girl’ on the lady’s part.

    nygent it’s nice to see you, how are you?

  260. NYGent says:

    really the expectations issue isn’t that complicated. There must be chemistry. Non-negotiable. If there is, then there must be basic agreement on the amount of allowance, the frequency and nature of get togethers. If there is chemistry and agreement on all these things (that’s maybe 10% of all situations), then there must be follow -thru on both sides. The SD should religiously adhere to the agreed allowance, and pay it without having to be reminded, prodded, asked. Most young women are a little reticent about reminding, asking, and shame on the SD who makes them do that. On the other side the SB has to understand the concept of mutual benefits, what does she think this site is about? An SD who is reliable and generous is not likely to look kindly on the SB who says, “wait a minute, did you really expect intimacy by the fourth date, what kind of girl do you take me for, if I decide to go that route it will be on my own schedule and timetable and don’t rush me. But can we go shopping Sunday for those Jimmy Choos?”

  261. cleo says:

    ms. taken i have come to believe that they care for each other quite a lot actually
    .
    SDinLA: why don’t you hunt for sd’s anymore? are you saying your i don’t need a credit card lifestyle no longer needs a little financial help? congratulations, it must be wonderful! *chuckles*

    funny you say that about wealthy clients, recently i got a client while i was out freestyling. so we are saying the same but opposite thing; it had not occurred to me at all that being out there in the financial district with my friend while we scouted the scene might get me clients even more than sd’s while i sparkled on talking about how i help people fix their bad backs and handing out my fridge magnets!

    if i knew where to find the wealthy clients i would know where the sd’s are too i guess. i’d just like to get my toe in the door of the ‘scene’ here, i’d have a waiting list at work in a heartbeat since i fix people who break themselves doing sports, sitting at a desk or in cars…

    i have been waiting for a nagging shoulder injury to clear up before i take up golf but i believe i will prove to have some skill (based on feedback from my golf loving clients to whom i give swing help even though i don’t play myself.) not sure how to get in to the really good courses or clubs without lots of money to start with though…?

    wow actual polo matches? in toronto? i wonder, now that you mention it, there’s a huge horse community north of here… hmm, that sounds fun and i love how i look in those clothes… i bet there totally are. oh my, i’m going to have such a fun summer!

    toronto is metro in a different way, they wear suits and get their pedicures and pay more for haircuts than i do… and my lord the cuff link collections. men are getting the pilates message, i might even say my client base is fifty fifty or maybe slightly more men even…
    :)
    thanks for giving my question a real answer

  262. Lisa says:

    Ms. Taken
    Percy’s parents who lived above my window from the time I moved into that apartment till about a year after Percy was born (not sure what happened to them, they just left one day) made their first attempt at nesting back in 2008 but the first attempt was messed up by the neighbor’s mini thug kids who stole the eggs. More eggs were laid and since they were hidden in a plant pot, the hatched and remained in the pot until one night when I came home from work and I could see the nest was empty (the birds were over a month old so they were quit big now). I also found my broom laying across the front of my door. It was too dark to see anything that night. Next morning I found Percy hiding in the corner with his dead sibling who had been stomped on and I noticed my broom had blood on it. Obviously the thug kids next door had knocked them out of the next and killed one. I brought him in even though his parents stayed in front of my door looking, I knew he would be killed if he remained outside. My porch was supposed to be private but the type of people I was living around had no respect and given the chance, they break into apartments. anyway Percy will soon be 3 and is doing well. He gets excited at anything yellow, loves popcorn and ruffles chips as well as birdseed. He won’t touch bread or junk.
    I’m hoping to find some small plastic easter eggs to put in his nest but all i’ve found are the big ones that I don’t think would fool him, lol

  263. Anna Molly says:

    Naughty says she is looking forward to Easter 😉

  264. Anna Molly says:

    @SDinLA – Thank you. My Mom is in good condition and doing well.

  265. SDinLA says:

    AM: Please tell NM Easter is coming up, my supply of Cadbury eggs will be replenished soon.

    cleo: I haven’t trolled for SDs in I don’t know how long, so I may not be the person to ask. 😉

    Seriously? Hmm. That’s a tough one. Take up golf? Join a yacht club? Whoever told you to go to the auto show to look for SDs was having a laugh. In my circles if you want to see a new model of a Ferrari, you say “Yes” when they invite you to the factory in Italy for the private unveiling, or at the very least you get invited to a private event in your city, for example Ferrari rented out a mansion in Bel Air and hosted an invitation only event for the local launch of the 458. Classic car shows are a different matter, those are good to go to. Polo matches too. Or auto racing. I met a former GF at a racetrack when I was racing motorcycles, and another GF at the dealer when I was having a car serviced.

    Targeting wealthy men as clientele for your small business can work too. I know a lot of guys who end up married to their interior designer, or caterer or realtor etc. That would probably work for SDs too. Don’t know if potential SDs in Toronto do pilates though, I did it as rehab for a motorcycling injury so I suppose it’s possible, but then again I live in L.A. where men are much more “metro.” 😉

  266. Ms. Taken says:

    Cleo: Aww…how sweet of her.

    What if Percy is building a “love nest” for just the two of them as a show of his eternal gratitude for saving his life? Mmm… stranger things have happened 😉

  267. cleo says:

    ms. taken: lisa found percy injured outside and took him in and healed/rescued him… :)

  268. cleo says:

    moon patrol: thank you :)

    i have a new ‘no crushes’ rule. if i get infatuated with someone i ask them out immediately. i will NEVER AGAIN waste months or even more than a year (okay that was a long time ago but still) on some guy i want who isn’t chasing me.

    if he isn’t chasing me someone else will, if i can’t let him out of my head then i ask him out and get it over with because it’s just not worth the effort you know?
    .
    hey ms. taken!
    .
    SDinLA: where would you advise hot 30-40 year old women to ‘troll’ for sd’s? beyond the bars in the financial districts and high end hotels… (don’t say the auto show, what a joke, the only hot thing there was a 1960 ferrari coupe!)

  269. Anna Molly says:

    @SDinLA – My goodness! You are in BIG trouble mister! Naughty has been waiting for you to knock on her dungeon door all this time! What are you gonna do to make it up to her? 😉

  270. Ms. Taken says:

    AM: That little vent was so random, it made it all the more hilarious! Here’s to as many drama-free days as you desire in your future…I love everything that comes after, “Don’t get me started”.

    @Lisa: My apologies to Percy for mistaking him for a parrot (of all things). Tell him I will send him a gilded cage (it’s a start) to smooth things over. Now I’m even more curious, Lisa.
    It seems unusual to me, when did you know you wanted one?
    How did you get your hands on a pigeon for a pet?
    Was he wounded and you nursed him back to health?
    I’ve never seen one in a pet store, can you buy (or the PC adopt) them?

    Hi there Cleo *waving*

  271. Moon Patrol says:

    Cleo I’m so happy that you have found a path that works for you. The guy will show up. Or maybe more than one giving you choices.
    Bela had posted earlier about her SD who is a terrible kisser and was baffled by it.
    I’m currently working the IRL world. Met one I’m infatuated with or fascinated with more like.

  272. cleo says:

    lisa: i will accept it with glee… i know you’ll have way more than you need!
    .
    no june cleaver: i find that especially with my actor friends, i’ll just shake my head and laugh and say “wow, you are so addicted to drama!”

    i nexted a guy once because i broke a date due to illness and he replied with a question about rebooking and i was in bed, not well. i didn’t answer that day and within six hours he had sent a rant to me about how i was playing him and how i should have told him straight i didn’t want him and how he likes older women because they don’t string guys along but obviously i do etc…

    so i replied that i had been in bed and received ALL his communications at once and that i wished him luck in his search and truly believed he wanted to date the classic jewish princess (he’s a mid 30s jewish lawyer looking for a woman to tell him what to do and spend his money, he wants a wife who will both love him and gently abuse him rather than an sb) and sent the email.

    he comes back all “oh i’m sorry, can we try again” and i just said no thank because i’m trying to get the drama out of my life. this is extra funny because he replied that he thought i must have been speaking to someone ELSE!!! he didn’t even see himself causing his own drama after sending me a FOUR PARAGRAPH rant about how badly i was treating him! we’d had ONE date!

    lol :)

  273. SDinLA says:

    Maybe if the board instituted video broadcasts of Guru spanking the offenders, the drama would go away… or maybe it would increase.

    AM: Best wishes for your mother’s health. I forgot to respond to your comment and tell you that I gave all your Cadbury Eggs to the Trick-or-treaters at Halloween. When NM didn’t come by to get them after so long, I figured she wasn’t coming.

    RTB: I met all of my SBs IRL. I don’t think it’s any different than normal dating, you just have to spend lots of time in places that are a “target rich environment” and be willing to talk to lots of people. I was always surprised at the number of college age women I spoke to who had dated older guys, and I don’t mean “a guy in his late 20s” I mean late 30s to mid 40s. I don’t think I ever explicitly raised the issue of SD/SB as part of “what I am looking for”, it just sort of came up in conversation re: my divorce/last relationship etc.

    That said, it’s not like 80% of the hot coeds you talk to will be receptive to dating someone much older, so I talked to a lot of women, but I was fortunate to be in situations on and around campuses a lot that made talking to them part of the routine and not “creepy” at all. Plus even now at 45 people guess I am in my early to mid 30s, and if I was not in a suit people assumed I was a grad student, so I don’t think what I was doing would have worked for someone who looked like their fathers. You have to go to the Playboy Mansion to find the young women who are looking for the Octogenarians.

    I don’t know if my experiences are applicable to that many SDs, but I guess if I were advising someone who wanted to look IRL, I would say try to identify places you can go, or activities you can do that will expose you to the largest number of the kinds of women you think might want to be SBs. There’s no easy way to identify women IRL who might be receptive. Hmm, maybe it’s time for an iPhone/Android app that notifies you of nearby potential SDs and SBs.

    Cali SB: What part of PA? I had a SB who went to Penn and was from Western PA. Re: your difficulties in finding a SD in LA, I think you might be on the right track in that this town is full of attractive young women who are aspiring actresses and such, struggling to make ends meet and hoping to find a wealthy guy who can help them out. There are also lots of women who are in their late 20s to mid 30s who are former models/actresses, looking to find careers or reinvent themselves, also looking for SDs/patrons/mentors etc. Honestly, if I wanted to find either the early-20s aspiring model/actress or 30ish former model/actress SBs, it would be easy, I get propositioned pretty much every time I go out socially (and that is a comment on the numbers game out here not a boast of how amazing I am.) No June Cleaver, LASB and others have had success in this town, so you just have to keep at it and be patient. :-)

  274. cleo says:

    weird no refresh until i posted…

    anyway ps
    “obvious troll is obvious”
    *dies laughing* god you’re such a nerd!

  275. Lisa says:

    Cleo i’ll send you some of our scorching summer heat as soon as it gets here, that should be early May. I can’t believe that I got a bad sunburn on my chest from just taking a walk yesterday. Didn’t even know it till I got home.

  276. cleo says:

    DC: i’m still in canada yes, jonesing for some summer! unfortunately i didn’t get away this year other than one lovely weekend… i would tell you that i’m sorry you guys are done but it sounds like it was for the best. i know at one point he had encouraged you to stop working, did you find it was hard to step back into the working world? glad to hear you’re still great friends, i hate losing my friend when my man and i split up…

    still no sd but i’ve at least had a few sugar sprinkles and have some idea that sugar dating really is the life i want. it’s nice to at least know that i’m right… i feel good about it though, really think that will change.

    don’t wait too long for the kids thing, i had ‘lots of time’ and suddenly i’d missed it :)
    .
    gail: i think those vacations are good for us!
    .
    RTB: wait there was a new hellcats this week??? *heads off to the download sites… shh*

    remember that there are all sorts of amazing grains that aren’t “wheat” that you can still learn to love. personally i gave up pasta and bread and i feel AMAZING (and lost a few more pounds, erk! never thought i’d get to the ‘no more weight to lose’ camp!) but i eat rice noodles and some gluten free bread… mostly none though.

    nice thing for me, giving up wheat means i can eat basically all the potatoes i want (even fries)!

    omg you might visit? yes!
    .
    bela: the kissing problem? was that in a post that isn’t there anymore?

  277. Moon Patrol says:

    Bela – About your kissing issue earlier; The bad kissing is a sample of what it would be like in the bedroom. If it is not that, then he is very limited in his experience with women. I hope this helps.

  278. Lisa says:

    Good afternoon
    Back from work tired.

    Are you there Gail?
    Honey you can catch me at bynumsock at the why place.

  279. Anna Molly says:

    Don’t even get me started on drama. Men can cause as much drama as women. My last SD was nothing but drama in the end. I’m a very easy going, and, easy to get along with woman! Good grief! Why can’t things be easy and comfortable and happy? I don’t hound anyone, I’m accommodating and I try very hard to make my SD happy. Don’t make the break up difficult and hurtful. Is that too much to ask?

    Sorry, I had to vent a little.

    Hope everyone is having a good day…lol. 😀

  280. Lily says:

    I find her prose rather Faulkner-esque. Kind of nice, for a change of pace. It’s more exposing, and in that way interesting (to try to deconstruct the thought processes behind them).

  281. No June Cleaver SB says:

    RE: DRAMA

    Creating and staying in drama is all CHOICE, in my opinion. Sadly, some people (men and women) become addicted to drama and if they don’t have some form of it in their lives, they feel something is missing.

  282. No June Cleaver SB says:

    I admit, initially found Honey’s posts as off-putting. In fact, I apologized for my first comment to her and explained how she could have reworded her thoughts to make them more positive and I think another poster said my actions were rude. Ah, well, opinions. You really can’t please everyone. Especially online.

    Moving forward, I chose to turn my tone around with Honey because something about her written word made me delve into what’s called recognizing cultural and linguistic differences. We tend to think of all posters to these types of public forums as being from our neck of the woods. Remember that the Internet is a global medium, and the person posting on this blog could be from Afghanistan or Australia just as easily as they could be from Canada or the USA. The English language is widely used, but it’s not universal. I always try to be sensitive to cultural differences, weaknesses in the ability to express oneself in written language and differences in terminology. It’s hard to tell in font across our screen what another person’s intention might be.

    Can’t we all just get alooooong>

  283. NYC SB says:

    Honey- i agree with DW… I know you mean well with your comments but sometimes your words come out wrong. When you said “I want to take a sugar baby wanna-be to lunch, I will treat” I found it offensive … No one is a wanna be here… You come off boastful and seem to think that we are all jealous of you being spoiled… As I said before, the blog is not that kind of an environment. Next time you want to tell us how spoiled you are maybe you should drop the “you will hate on me” or “to make you crazy chicks jealous” from your statement. This way we can be happy for you rather than be insulted by being called crazy/haters/ wanna bes…

  284. Enigma SD says:

    RTB — there is nothing that I would have done differently. Once I got to know each one of them a little better, there was some things that just didn’t make it work for me. The first one’s life was such a mess that I couldn’t deal with it. The second one later revealed she was still married, and she also turned out to be younger (too young for me) than she looked. I have thought about looking IRL, but the profile on SA does provide some basic screening that is invaluable. The good thing about IRL is that you both know exactly what you look like so there isn’t that bit of mystery.

  285. Reach the Beach SB says:

    Enigma – Good idea…go where the sbs shop :-) What did you say to someone to introduce them to sugar? Would you do anything differently if you had a second chance with those ladies?

    ***Opinion coming***
    As for drama – YES…women are prone to drama…it doesn’t matter with what sex. Drama seems to be directly wired to passion and emotion and it takes a conscious effort to control. Evolution hasn’t bred that out of us just yet, but be careful what you ask for.

  286. Enigma SD says:

    RTB — I have met two potential SBs IRL and they both didn’t get very far. One I met while filling my car with gas, and the other was my waitress. I would say try upscale bars. Better yet, ask SBs where they would go to meet an IRL SD, and that is where he should go :)

    I have a really good female friend, and she said it was nearly impossible to be in a long-term relationship with a woman and not have SOME drama. I was taken aback by it, but after some analyzing, I think she might be right. I never have drama with my male friends, but always seem to have some form eventually with women — is it the sexual component that does it? or is it just me?

  287. Bela says:

    RTB – I love that idea!! Hopefully I’m jumping to conclusions :)

  288. Honey says:

    I love wiki!! oh Ok, I get it and one has to participate. I chose not to.I wanna be ON topic, it’s sexy!I wanted to hear about fantastic trips and cool new, shiny things that I could buy. maybe talk about sugar daddy care and feeding. Find new stores. Here’s my secret I’m a secret shopper and I keep the cash back from my dining shops when my sd takes me to lunch. I used one of my american express giftcards that he gave me to pay for the lunch and I get to keep the reimbursement when it comes, like six weeks later. Yeah, you have to fill out the equivalent of a 250 word essay each time, but for me one day at the cheesecake factory paid for with my card equals to about 80 bucks or so back to me six weeks later. Times every time we eat out, adds up to hundreds for doing the stuff I already do.I think I’m rather clever for that. Add my legal writing classes and I’m pumping out thousands of words a week, sorry I AM so profuse, but words and/or the lengths of my missives are meaningless to me at this point. I used to like writing before I started secret shopping and law courses, now, it’s just …ashes…ashes…lol! If you go back, I’m sure they will mostly fall into the 250 -300 word category and the others into the 500 -600.
    Trolling. That’s not nice, it could be funny, true, but that’s not what I came here for. truce everyone?

  289. Dallasbaby says:

    Any dallas sugar babies having a get together like in dc?

  290. Reach the Beach SB says:

    Re-posting questions and responses:

    I talked with a gentleman who is looking for a local lady in Chicago to meet in the afternoons. I’m wondering if his best bet is to do some IRL searching. Do any of the gents have some suggestions on places/ methods / approaches that won’t get him slapped?

    Bela – I agree, but I do think you should meet with him once more to be sure. Since there is some doubt in your mind, one more date won’t hurt to clarify your thoughts/ feelings. If the chemistry is there in all other interactions, then it’s likely the physical act of kissing. I’ve learned that men are typically eager to learn how they can please their partner and catch on very quickly to your preferences (unless he has a huge ego and is nexted!). Have some fun with it..order your favorite liquor after dinner, both of you take a sip and give him the sexiest kiss you have in your arsenal. He won’t be able to speak while he catches his breath! <3

  291. Dandelion Wine says:

    Honey, friends or fight aren’t the only options. Just because I disagree with you doesn’t mean I hate you, and just because I agree with you, doesn’t mean we are friends.

    I don’t have any beef with you personally. I don’t know how about anyone else, but I found your posts “y’all must be hating me because I got some jewelry” insulting.

    What does the skin color have to do with anything? Are you trying to accuse me of racism?

  292. DC says:

    “please do not feed the trolls”
    “trolling for newbies”

    obvious troll is obvious.

  293. DC says:

    Honey, you’re being trolled.
    Go to wiki and look up “troll”

  294. Honey says:

    Yes, you are confused,Do you want to be friends or fight? I’m up for either. But let’s ask the sd gods to exchange emails or I can leave contact info for me with someone and we can take it outside, so to speak. But I’m not doing this here. You may have a beef with me and vice versa nd hey I’m on spring break,so I got the time. but I’m calling a truce on this board. You don’t get me, like me or like what I say, I get it,really. So the healthier thing to do is ignore me. You are right, I am wrong,I’m a hater you can be the playa, whatever. You are prettier, smarter, weigh less, have lighter skin, more friends, a richer, younger, sugardaddy who gives you an allowance that is so much bigger than mine that you are gracious not to mention it. I’m am, boastful, wrong, too sensitive, a drama queen, smart alec, know it all wanna be,fat with dark skin and hair that does not grow to 16 inches, no friends, desperate for attention,challenging and profuse. you got me. get me more offline,please.
    So,when I ignore you in all future posts on this board it is because you have figured me out and exposed me to the world and I can’t deal with that here.So do me that favor and again, I promise to do the same. I’ll work on my “If you can’t say something nice about someone….” K?

  295. Reach the Beach SB says:

    Bela – I agree, but I do think you should meet with him once more to be sure. Since there is some doubt in your mind, one more date won’t hurt to clarify your thoughts/ feelings. If the chemistry is there in all other interactions, then it’s likely the physical act of kissing. I’ve learned that men are typically eager to learn how they can please their partner and catch on very quickly to your preferences (unless he has a huge ego and is nexted!). Have some fun with it..order your favorite liquor after dinner, both of you take a sip and give him the sexiest kiss you have in your arsenal. He won’t be able to speak while he catches his breath! <3

  296. Dandelion Wine says:

    Honey, I am confused. You were standing up to me by saying how everyone must be hating you right now because you are so spoiled?

  297. Bela says:

    That’s what I’m afraid of. It’s definitely not something I can fake.

  298. Honey says:

    June, I have always found your posts to be helpful and informative. Please feel free to share anything here.I’ll read it! I like’em. Keep them coming!

  299. Reach the Beach SB says:

    Bela – Kissing sometimes has to be taught to be the way you like it (just like sex). If it’s the physical act, then that can be fixed. If it’s a chemistry issue, then it probably wasn’t meant to be.

  300. Reach the Beach SB says:

    NJC – You were both inspiring and informative!

    Thanks for the kind words! I’ll take any substitutes that can be found locally for suggestions. I’m not attempting to eliminate all carbs, just reduce them drastically.

    I talked with a gentleman who is looking for a local lady in Chicago to meet in the afternoons. I’m wondering if his best bet is to do some IRL searching. Do any of the gents have some suggestions on places/ methods / approaches that won’t get him slapped?

  301. Bela says:

    Correction: I shouldn’t say he might be a bad kisser. What I should say is perhaps we just don’t have the right chemistry.

  302. Bela says:

    Of course I will!!! I know how it feels to quit that stuff cold turkey.

    The kissing issue: Pot that I’m talking to is very sweet but very likely the worst kisser I’ve encountered in my life. I’m hoping that maybe it was just a fluke and he was nervous or just not the right time. Unfortunately, if it doesn’t work out, I’m going to have to say no thank you. I don’t care how much he offers, a bad kisser is definitely a deal breaker.

  303. No June Cleaver SB says:

    @RTB – I was making an effort to be informative in my posts whilst also sharing my sugary news. :-)

    Good luck with the elimination of pasta and bread. Those are two of my weaknesses too! You will do great, I’m sure!

  304. Reach the Beach SB says:

    It’s a shame when skimming job boards provides more information than the posts of late…I’m sure the admins would prefer to expend their energies on more productive pursuits. Just my opinion of course.

    Bela – I’m scared! Will you be my support when I’m going through carb withdrawals? As for the kiss..I’m having a blonde moment and not remembering your issue. Would you mind refreshing?

  305. Honey says:

    Nope, dandy wine,I’m standing up to you. I’m not wanting to get into a pissing contest on this board. I think I have shown that I can and will. Everyone already knows that women mostly can’t seem to get along with each other.I admit to being sensitive. It’s an emotional thing. On the inside of my body. Kinda like if I had a sprained ankle, it would be sensitive, right? so does one pick at the sensitive limb? does waking on a sprained ankle make it stronger? I am weak because I would rather stay off it. I’m closer to 40 than 30 in age, I’ve been sensitive this whole time, where you comments meant to toughen me up, put me in my place,get my attention? I glad you find my comments amusing, I try to make it a little bit so. I’m sorry I didn’t find yours as innocuous as you feel they are.But if you wish, I can go back to ignoring all of your post and you are welcome to ignore mine. Excuse me for my lack of brevity.

  306. Dandelion Wine says:

    Honey, on the contrary, I love Spiritual Baby’s posts. They always brought a smile to my face (or more like uncontrollable laughter). I was just pointing out similarities.
    1st Bullies test water with their victims – isn’t that what you are doing with throwing the challenges to the Internet at large?
    2nd the Bullying gains momentum – kinda like it went from you accusing people of jealousy to you accusing people of hate (for no reason) ?
    3rd the Bullying is fully established – if responding is bullying, I guess the biggest bully would be the one with the most and the longest posts, no? To quote Bob Dylan : it ain’t me, babe :)

  307. Dandelion Wine says:

    Lily, definitely wasn’t. Her posts were always just entertaining (at least to me)

  308. Bela says:

    RTB – You are a brave soul indeed. If you are able to give those up, you are a superhero in my eyes 😉

    Still trying to figure out to do with the kissing problem. We see each other in two weeks, and I haven’t a clue.

  309. Honey says:

    If I’m sensitive wouldn’t the thing to do is leave me alone? June Dw was infferring that I reminded her of another sugarbaby(who she must not like either) who must have said things similar to what I am saying. I don’t care. I just not into stage one bullying tatics being used on me..
    1st-Bullies Test out the Waters With Their Victims, That would be Dandy whines first address to me (I’m guessing she didn’t like my attitudue and my sensitivity)NEXT-The Bullying Gathers Momentum, -if I had ignored her rudeness(cause I would then be too sensitive) and not directly replied to her,you really think she would have changed her course? THEN-Bullying is Fully Established- Any time I say something Dandy whine HAS to reply-Finally in conclusion- Any girl who attempts to be an individual, through dress or expression, is going against the group norm cliques. Cliques will generally dress in the same manner, hair is styled virtually the same, and thinking or opinions are the same The secret club that only Friends of Dandy know of. Dandy doesn’t like me and wants to make sure everyone knows it.” Don’t be “her ” friend she is crazy,silly, boastful ,proud, whatever.” If it’s no big deal why am I the one having to keep dropping the subject. I am a newbie,did I step on some toes when I entered the building.? Look at my mea culpas on the previous page that was shut down because dandy has a problem with me.I agreed to play nice, was I the only one involved? Does it not take two to argue? I’m not asking anyone to defend me, I do have friends and family for that, that is THEIR job.But please don’t characterize me as a troublemaker. I may not back down from an injustice but I don’t pick fights. Just my point of view.
    Lisa, no email yet. If you go to the Lush store in Memorial city mall,I’ll leave contact info there. Maybe today or tomorrow, like after 12.
    Thanks to all who have been supportive of my posts, I’ll work on ignoring…things better.

    Read more at Suite101: Girl Bullies: Understanding and Overcoming Bullying http://www.suite101.com/content/girl-bullies-a166969#ixzz1Gm6nZyEX

    The Bullying Gathers Momentum

  310. Lily says:

    DW/RTB – similar indeed but Bonnie was never so sensitive.
    Gail – thanks!! Dancing thru my day, almost done.

    .

  311. Reach the Beach SB says:

    So I’m putting it out there in order to force myself to commit…

    I will be giving up pasta and bread (my BIGGEST vices) for Lent. I’ve done it with sodas and it stuck (with the very occasional treat), so let’s stretch that out a bit. It does mean cooking different meals for me as both are fairly regular in our diet and others don’t need to eliminate it.

  312. Reach the Beach SB says:

    NJC – Nothing to affect your day…truly. Those little surprises are amazing! I remember having a bad day and receiving flowers “just because”. Another time receiving a very thoughtful care package. It doesn’t take an expensive gift to make me smile…just a thoughtful one.

  313. No June Cleaver SB says:

    @Kennedy from Boston – Ooooh, please do share what was in your surprise FedEx package! I love those stories. I feel like I AM getting the surprise!! :-)

  314. No June Cleaver SB says:

    I think I’m totally missing something?? Ah, well. I guess what I don’t know won’t hurt me.

  315. Reach the Beach SB says:

    Good morning ladies!

    Looking forward to a break in the weather and possibly a little fun in the sun this week. This is the hardest time of the year as I want to put out the fire pit and swing, but know it’s too soon! C’mon warmer days to stay!

    Cleo – :-) Got my campy fix Monday and yesterday. I’ve got to get working again! BTW – a trip to your area may be in the next few months. I’ll keep you posted. Perhaps we can get together if customs will let me.

    DW – I’m noticing some similarities as well. Some things are better just left alone.

  316. No June Cleaver SB says:

    @Dandelion Wine“she is not only gracious, she is also very generous with her advice and strategies.

    Thank you so much. I enjoy sharing what works for me (“Best Practices”, if you will) and I can only hope that some little bit I share can help someone contemplating this lifestyle or even someone whose been in it for a while – for that matter. Although sugar dating isn’t new to me, like I said before, it’s amazing how I can still learn something new!

    Thanks to everyone who read and commented on my story about the oh so generous potential SD I now have in my life. He really is an amazing, amazing man. I will keep you all posted on how things evolve with us. I really feel we will reach an agreement about an arrangement in the upcoming days ahead! Like Kennedy said, there certainly is no rush!

  317. Lisa says:

    Good morning Gail, Honey, others

    Gotta be heading out the door, long tiring day at work. Did you get my email address Honey?

    Gotta leave now, Have a good day everyone

  318. Gail says:

    Good morning Lily. Your heart is bright shining and appropriate this morning : )

    Honey~Some of us have all ready been in your shoes. In fact not too long ago : ) It can be frustrating to have mean-spirited comments posted here. Maybe this will help. I try to follow the 11 proven ways to get along with Everyone. Google it, its a really good slideshow. Keep smiling.

    Lisa~I finally woke up on time….lol… having coffee…the pot is full. Have a wonderful day sugars.

  319. Lily says:

    Good morning, sugars!!

  320. Honey says:

    I like to work the self esteem angle, so shoot me, maybe I’m Mis-characterizing (not sure if that’s a word) the need I see here.women who need shoes, expensive shoes and lunches. Maybe I have a need to give free lunches. Dandy- I dinna know exactly what I might have said to get you sniping at me,if you don’t like what I am saying, ignore me,( the opposite of love is not hate, it is indifference. I would say more but I would not like to get moderated,so take it keep it,don’t care and you’ve succeeded in your quest to put me on my guard about any drivel I put in your path. I get it, you don’t care for my posts.what would you like to hear from me to confirm your worldview?I feel picked on when dandelion wine can make sniping remarks, trying to put me down, but when I reply to her thinly veiled hostility,I’m the one moderated. I’m a big girl, but I’m not the one starting this and I can just leave.

  321. Honey says:

    So my super long speech did not get seen?

  322. Honey says:

    Lisa, meet me at the mall for one day when you have the time.I have tomorrow and thursday AND friday free. Let’s do lunch. and I’ve been moderated sd guru? Drama and cat fights are good for the board…!

  323. Dandelion Wine says:

    (She being NJC)

  324. Dandelion Wine says:

    I am very happy for NJC, her story is pleasant to read and really makes it easy to feel good about.
    I don’t see why would someone become envious; she is not only gracious, she is also very generous with her advice and strategies.

    I don’t see why other people cannot share their observations on the blog, and instead target lurkers for personal “mentoring”. Didn’t Spiritual Baby use to do that? XD

  325. SD Guru says:

    I’m nipping this war of words now before it escalates. For the people involved, consider yourself warned!

  326. Honey says:

    and I almost fordot. PLEASE powers that be…could you share my email with Lisa, if she wants it. The help gene isn’t found only on the Y chromosome you know…!

  327. Honey says:

    Dw, what would you be missing?What exactly are you looking for? Can I help you find it? Just ask, Darling. Is there a table minimum? (Nick don’t reach?)They still make you buy the chain that goes with it the total came to $1780 add the little incidental shopping I did and the paintings I bought at the art show and the investment to the coffee shop(lisa,it’s in the heights) and I’m good for the month. NYC , if it’s not you, then i wasn’t talking about you, no heat. Maybe it’s the vibes I put out, I too must confess to being the engineer type. I tend to get along better with guys. But again, I must be the only female to feel that some people cannot or will not be happy with your happiness. and I say that stuff about the spoiled part because so many people have asked me what I do or have done to get the performance from the men I date. I tell them and they seem to get mad. I’m one of those people that likes to find things, lost out of print books, people pets, discontinued perfume, whatever.I’m not afraid to use the ‘net, have been using it so long that I don’t have any numbers or symbols in my screen names just six letters. So when I’m asked by friends to find whatever they are looking for, I tell them “don’t be mad when I find it in like two weeks, Yes, I know you have been looking for years, I can get it to you in a few days” I like to do things in the elegant way” which for me means making it look effortless and easy and no big deal. I call this being” gracious”
    I am hear for fun, I have NEVER had a guy problem. Something about my attitude makes the strongest willed guy lose sleep over whether I’ll stay with him. Did I mention I’m a sugarbaby now because I thought it was unfair to date guys on the traditional sites because they always end up wanting to marry me? I can’t fault their taste, but I not about that yet! So I thought that this would be easier on THEM. And even though I met my latest guy on Ashley Madison, sorry to drop a competitor’s name, he ends up acting like all the other ones.I have high standards and I was tired of guys lying to themselves and me about what I was looking for.So when girlfriends come up to me with their man problems I tell them what has worked for me(I see it as low hanging fruit, they see it as one has to be able to fly to get at that same fruit,but I just go and pick it up as easy as it is.Maybe I had been doing it “right”all along and it comes naturally now. But I would love to be able to have one of those no strings attached things because it never happens to me! I make up catch phrases for myself(I’m strange like that) The one for one year was, “can’t we just date?” I am lucky and glad to brag and not above telling the truth about it.Dating IS FUN!! and I’m good at it. It’s easy for me, always has been. I feel for the sugar babies who haven’t found the one yet, but I know they can cause I have. I’m saying it’s easy. If only people would listen to me and do everything I say…lol! So when people say it’s hard, I say they are not doing it right.But I am really smart…and modest so maybe I AM magic and am doing something that only a few select, lucky people can, but I really don’t think so.And I’ve hung around head shrink types to be able to admit my envy. I DO envy you June(can I call you June?) I would love a check for $4500 straight up! That stirs my envy gene and my competition gene, sports are competitive. One can play to win and not be a hater. So, while I am envious of June’s check, it does not make me not like or admire her,and I have no problem admitting that I will try to get a little more from my papi, because I am the type that takes score.I do understand it is not a zero sum game. How do I gauge if I am doing great in the sugar baby lifestyle if I don’t have other sugars to compare? myself to? That’s a little bit as to some of the why I am here.

  328. DC says:

    nyc – i def will! i’ve been meaning to come back up sometime soon. in fact! i just told my best gay (aka, one of my gaybies) that we need to head up to nyc soon. although he made me swear we couldn’t go until he can debut his new spring wardrobe.. oh, the gays. :)

  329. Lisa says:

    Hey Gail I keep missing you.

  330. Gail says:

    DW~ I love the Tiffany locks…they are very nice. It makes no difference to me what they cost. I would love to have the diamond one. I’ll just add it to my luxury list.

    Honey~ I absolute love Tiffany’s. You lucky duck : )

  331. NYC SB says:

    DC – hiya! I’m still around :) sorry to hear about your guy… If you are ever in nyc let me know!

    Honey – why would someone hate that you are spoiled? If anything I am happy for you! The blog is supportive place rather than a jealousy fueled forum…

    No june – that’s awesome! So glad you got a good man and helped out your family… Good karma goes a long way!

    Carebear – I better be a recipient of an elephant wine stopper!

  332. He emailed me today and told me there was a surprise being sent via fedex to my work. Someone would have to sign for it and to make sure I received it b/c it is really something I will find “of value.” Its too early for anything TOO extravagant but I know it can’t be flowers or anything, they wouldn’t arrive via Fedex. He is SO sweet, he wants to dinner as soon as I can but I want to wait and bit and let the anticipation build. Three gifts in 3 days is…wonderful!? I don’t think I’ve ever met someone so generous.
    Also I really need some time to think about an allowance situation and if I’d like to take classes this summer (I think I would) and about replacing my little car to something more dependable. So I need time to decide on an amount or just go over all the things in my life with him. There’s certainly no rush here!

  333. Lisa says:

    edit “familiar” not family

  334. Lisa says:

    Hi Gail, missed you again
    Honey I don’t use facebook or any social networking sites. I have lived in the Memorial city area for the last year thanks to my last sd who helped me escape spring branch (not sure if you are family with the gessner/westview hood. I love my new neighborhood and live in the same complex as my mom and daughter (can’t talk to them about my problem though as they are self righteous and one time a couple years ago when mom was at my house while I was at work (she was waiting for a ups shipment for me) one of the collection agencies called and she talked to them and pretended to be me. My last thought I should be close to my family. I never asked him for help but he was a wonderful man, unfortunately he poofed. I let him pick me up for dinner (I had checked him out as he is high profile and anyway it was safer than walking to the bus stop in my old place) after dinner he brought me home and the parking lot was full of police and some guy was handcuffed on the ground, my sd dropped me off and when he called later that night he said “we need to get you out of that place” and 4 weeks from the day I met him, I had a decent safe place to live and he prepaid the rent for me because I would have never got in with my bad credit and the income requirements which were about 1200 more than what I was making.

  335. Gail says:

    No June Cleaver….I have tears in my eyes…how wonderful of your sugar daddy : ) These are the kind of stories I like to hear about.

    By the way Madamosielle…don’t give up. I tried to give up more than twice, but kept at it…eventually I found more sugar than I could handle…even better lots of SD and SB friends that I still have to this very day. What city are you in by the way?

    Cleo…sounds like you were on the same vacay…I was on…LOL…

    Have fun with your family Lisa!!!

    DC~Yes…its a raincheck. It’s really raining here too…lol…Last year I was not working… so had plenty of time to travel…. now I am working on a project…trying to get away in a month or two. It’s great to have an update from you and hear that your doing good even with and without your SD/BF!!! I still remember the beginning of your sugar journey : )

    TLG…you have such a quirky/odd sense of humor. I am chuckling, but I still don’t know what about ?

  336. Honey says:

    Lisa, you are in Houston. I can help you out a bit, I’m sure. Even if it’s just to help keep your spirits up. Powers that be, I’m not web savvy..yet and don’t wish to step on any toes by posting the wrong kind of stuff,so If me leaving my as yet unpublished facebook page to Lisa is taboo , just tell me no, firmly and I’ll stop. Melange-one smart sugar babe. Or since you are in Houston..what part?-Houston is a big town.

  337. happynewbie says:

    Oops, almost forgot:

    @Honey-Thanks so much for the kind advice! I was really silly to go back to his–I think I’m a little too trusting, I honestly thought he just wanted a drink! Your rules are a good guideline that I’ll stick to =)

  338. happynewbie says:

    @Bela-Thanks! I was unbelievably lucky, I think.

    @No June Cleaver-I thought about reporting him, but figured there was no point as I had willingly gone to his apartment and it would be my word against his. And, I don’t think I want to go through the whole process–I’d rather just get over it and move on. It’s a lesson I will take with me for sure, though, and I am so grateful that I had friends to save my ass!

  339. The Lone Gunman currently in Australia says:

    If anyone cares, I will be offline for the next few days due to business.

    They haven’t found me, so don’t be concerned.

    Watch the skies, everywhere! Keep looking. Keep watching the skies!

    TLG

  340. Lisa says:

    Hi Gail (very late good morning to you).
    Ms. Taken, Percy is a lowly pigeon, not a fancy parrot but he’s a sweetheart and quite the player (he flirts with any woman that comes in my house, lol)

    Honey I have had plenty of free advice but when it comes down to it, no real help comes without an expense that I can’t afford. I tried very hard to file bankruptcy back in 2007 but could find nothing but free consultations. I’m still waiting for the papers (i’m not home very much as i’m at work most days, visiting family in the evenings (if I don’t walk over and visit them, they will be visiting me), and I work weekends. Whenever I do get the papers, i’ll file a response via certified mail telling them the same thing I have told them twice before. I cannot even make small payments as it’s all I can do to survive financially and emotionally( trying to keep from getting emotional and crying at work everyday). Of course my options are also limited because I have to rely on metro to get anywhere (not sure if you use public transportation in Houston or not, but if you do, well half the city is inaccessible.

    ok going over to visit family now.

  341. Cali SB says:

    Disregard that, apparently my browser just didn’t want to refresh properly until I posted again. Will have to catch up on the posts in a little while!

  342. Cali SB says:

    I swear no matter what time of day or night I post, I scare everyone away! lol

  343. DC says:

    enigma- thanks for letting me know. congrats to her!

    cleo- i’ve been a pretty crap blogger myself (having dropped off the face of the planet and all) but, my “guy”/former SD actually wanted me to drop that whole side of my life and not bring up how we met, or hang out with blog friends, or anything that would have signaled that we met as SD/SB.
    having said all that, we were together for 14 months.. i still received an allowance, gifts, travel, perks, etc. but as a “gf” not an “SB”
    we just recently broke up.. it’s still awkward, but it was the right choice for me. he’s much older and wanted to settle down/marry/kids, and i’m not ready for that stage in my life yet. but we remain the best of friends and recently went to miami together :)
    how has your sugar life been? are you still in canada?

    where is nyc sb?!

    it’s nice to see a lot of the familiar faces, and some new ones too! hi everyone :)

  344. No June Cleaver SB says:

    Ok, just read your post, Honey. You are adorable. So spoiled and have no qualms stating the fact! Good for you. As you said in a previous post, you like to spoil your ““papi” so it sounds to me like you just get the reciprocal spoiling, which – if I may repeat myself – is what this lifestyle is about.

    There will always be bad stories to share and horrid penis pics to deal with, but with patience and learning/applying some tried and true methods, sugar dating can be the most beautiful thing and enhance lives in such a way that is truly incomprehensible to those in the traditional dating world. Trust me, I know because it has changed mine. I wouldn’t trade my sugar dating experiences for anything in the world!

  345. No June Cleaver SB says:

    @Honey – I think we were typing at the same time! I just got in and had to share my story right away. I haven’t even read your post yet, but will scroll up and read now! :-)

  346. No June Cleaver SB says:

    Also, CaliSB – I have been on some dates with west coast SDs and the overall feel I got about them is that they, indeed, are accustomed to meeting young girls while out on a regular basis and therefore, don’t need such sites. They seem to join SA when their schedule becomes so hectic, they don’t have time to meet IRL SBs. Or the ones who are married like the discretion that a site like SA offers. Also, I noticed they are somewhat spoiled in that they like “fresh meat” and are not looking for long-term. No offense to any west coast SDs reading. This is based on my experience. I would also like to add, however, that I have been in an arrangement with a wonderful SD from the west coast so I know there are some good ones…but far and few between.

  347. Honey says:

    Keep them coming June!! love it! And my advice was to newbies, I think the communtiy agrees that you needn’t any advice! You got it going on! And yes, Damn Skippy I will let you pick up the tab!!
    Off to the garden!! Later Daters!
    Lone gunman you are so right!

  348. No June Cleaver SB says:

    @CaliSB – I love your idea about adding a “ratings” option to profiles. There are some traditional dating sites that have this feature!

  349. The Lone Gunman currently in Australia says:

    I just simply sent him a text where I thanked him for lunch, and wished him luck on his search.
    I received a ” Whatever, Its your loss” So it goes to show I made the right move.

    This is the attitude of a player (who has money). Total disconnect from the outcome and probably views the dinner and drinks as the admission fee to the Game. “Whatever” indeed!

    TLG

  350. No June Cleaver SB says:

    Update about my potential SD(aka: “Daddy Warbucks”) story:

    I took the $4,500 check my potential SD gave me and cashed it at his bank. I asked my family if I could meet them for lunch today and I handed the cash to them in an envelope. I hated lying, but I told them I took on a special project at work and was given a big bonus. They tried not to accept (we are a very proud family, all of us work very hard and have always hated asking for help), but I insisted over and over again until they didn’t have a choice but to say yes. They were so overwhelmed and we all cried and cried. I know $4,500 doesn’t seem like a ton of money (heck, to be honest, my monthly allowance in arrangements is higher than that!), but it was the amount needed to help clear a certain situation my family was in.

    I called my potential SD after I left my family and actually thought I would get his voice mail because he is very busy during the day. I was surprised when he answered! He then took time out of his busy schedule to listen to me gush about how good it felt to help out my family. I probably told him thank you a million times on a 15 minute call and told him how lucky I felt to have met him! He was so calm and charming on the phone. He simply said, “I’m on the phone with a beautiful, giving woman. I think I am the lucky one here.” WOW. WOW. WOW. We confirmed our second date for this weekend and both said how excited we are to see one another again. I am going to come up with something really special to give him. He has turned a very bad situation into a beautiful outcome for my family.

    My heart feels so full right now.

  351. Honey says:

    and madam again, to answer your paypal question. Yes they can, don’t take money unless you KNOW him.No wire transfers, no checks, no paypay until after the first installment Cash is ok, of course. American Express giftcards are the best. Save yourself the time and trouble. Let him worry about how to get cash to you. That is his problem, not yours. Message me later and I will tell you how to have them eating out of your hand!
    I’m so spoiled, some of you guys would hate it! and/but I don’t think that I am doing anything that anyone else couldn’t do.It’s easy once you get the basics down. I working on my easy, painless system to train women how to date even if you don’t want to be a sugarbaby. it’s useful in everyday life also.

  352. Honey says:

    Stranger danger!!Happie Newbie, So sorry that had to happen to you, do me that favor and DON”T EVER go back to any POTs house unless you want to sleep with him.That’s just how some guys think. Don’t let him into yours either on the first date also.Let me just be bossy and lay it out straight. NO !! Make him wait for you. I do the standard three date minimum, actually. That is before we even take anything seriously. Don’t expect to get serious first. I say “Everyone interviews well” YOU are interviewing them, it takes the first three dates to feel him out. Does he try to grab you when you don’t want? Is he nice to people who maybe aren’t going to f**K him? Those are some of the clues to his personality. Look how he treats the waitress? Is he flirty,or dismissive? I generally don’t date guys who had “bad,slutty,”girlfriends, I assure you they got all those bad names when they left him or didn’t give him what he wanted. You get brownie points for NOT sleeping with them on the first date.It makes YOU special. I’m not judging when I say again that I don’t have sex strangers. strangers don’t know your body, strangers have no obligation to make you feel good. I would not expect a stranger to WANT to make me feel good in any way, he doesn’t know me well enough yet. Anything worth having is worth waiting for. and if you feel you MUST or HAVE to meet a complete stranger, do call a friend and let her know where you are, make sure he knows that someone will miss you. I often say that I have to go somewhere after our first date, makes you seem more busy than you actually may be at that time! And shows that you have a full life without him. Guys love a busy woman, makes them want to get in the line!!
    Stay safe!! Nothing is worth your life, if you are in such dire straits that you have to go home with strangers for money,do it more professional like and get out of the sugarbabe biz. Like someone said before, there are predators out there looking to “bag” a vulnerable sugarbaby. You need to have a great sense of self esteem to play in the big leagues…-madamoiselle, I’m giving my two cents for free today!! Tell me all? I see this lifestyle like picking low hanging fruit, I don’t see how everyone can miss all these tips on how to handle relationships….

  353. Cali SB says:

    I really enjoyed reading the stories by Honey, NJC, and Kennedy. I hope that I fall into that luck someday! Living in LA, I feel like it’s harder for me to even find a pot SD than anywhere else in the country. Do you agree? Yes, there are far more SD’s living here in LA, but there are many more pot SB’s to search for and I feel like the majority of SD’s easily find SB’s in person and don’t need/use sites like this. In a year and a half, on and off, on this site, I have not gone on even one single pot date. I hope it’s not because I’m ugly! j/k :) (I do have photos on my profile, which you can see here if you click my name).

    This also led me to an idea which might be helpful to add to the site in the future. It would be nice if pot SB’s could rate pot SD’s. Maybe a star rating with some comments (you don’t want a scorned SB leaving a bad comment) and so many negative ratings could remove them from the site. As was mentioned a few posts up, only those who are looking for and truly understand a true arrangement should be using this site and it would be helpful to weed out those who are not. This, not only would allow for less SB’s to have to find out first hand if a pot is only looking for sex first-hand (let’s be honest, not everyone reads the blog to find out about guys like Namaste), but would also slim the pool to allow for genuine SB’s and SD’s to find each other and start more arrangements. Just a thought!

  354. mademoiselle says:

    HEYYYY ALLLL. so, still no luck in SB land here. maybe one day, huh?
    ono another note: if someone sends you money via paypal, can they retract it? like a potential making a gift? or is western union a better option? not sure. i don’t want to give out my bank information.

  355. Ms. Taken says:

    Honey, NJC – Congratulations and thanks for sharing your sugar experiences and methods. So refreshing and inspiring to hear these stories of Sugar “done right”.

    **Rant on**
    Yes I know each relationship will be defined by the parties involved and there is no one right way. But I was so over the “if he brings money to dinner (on our first meet) then I’ll sleep with him” approach, I had to take a break.
    **Rant off**

  356. cleo says:

    DC: a lot of us miss her but she no longer contacts any sugars that i’m aware of. was quite hurtful to many although i agree that her presence on the blog is surely missed.

    how is your life treating you? still with the same mister?

  357. cleo says:

    dc: thanks! it was one of them there shopping accidents

  358. Enigma SD says:

    Elegant Sugar got funding for her business and gave up sugar to work on that.

  359. DC says:

    i miss elegant sugar.. does anyone know what happened to her? lily? maybe?

  360. DC says:

    PS cleo i love your new pic!

  361. DC says:

    Gail, I totally understand – although we have been trying to get you to come down to DC forever now and hang out with us girls :) rain check?
    (ps. I know what you mean on the guy front… why are the DC-area SDs so.. “particular” we have our own lives/jobs too! They just don’t really get it..) sigh.
    :)

  362. No June Cleaver says:

    @happynewbie – Oh my. What a horrible story! Can you report this guy? So glad you made it out safely. Sugar babies…learn from this story. Never, ever allow yourself to be forced, tempted, or controlled into any situation where you do not feel totally comfortable.

  363. Bela says:

    happynewbie – VERY glad to hear that you came out of that alive and unharmed. Fortunately, you learned from the mistake and know what to notice.

  364. happynewbie says:

    Hello!
    Still a newbie, but just sharing a scary experience I had so hopefully others don’t make the same stupid mistakes as me!

    Had a date this weekend with someone who seemed nice enough in his messages. Unfortunately, I made the mistake of agreeing to go to his flat after dinner for a drink (yes, in retrospect, I am the world’s biggest moron). Once there, he shoved me against a wall, pulled my hair, and tried to force himself on me. I was absolutely terrified, but I managed to grab my phone, run to the bathroom, and call a friend who heard the panic in my voice, stayed on the phone, demanded to know my location, and offered to meet me at a bus stop immediately. Thanks to my amazing friend, I managed to get away.

    So, lesson learned: If he wants to go to his flat, run away as fast as you can.

    Still quite shaken, although I know it’s my own stupid fault, so hopefully this post will prevent others from being put through anything similar!

  365. Siiren says:

    Thanks for the welcome & especially the advice everyone,.I really appreciated it =]

    In reading your advices, I do realize that he did make me feel cheapened and worse his advances after lunch [despite me saying that this was just lunch] were classless. Onto the next :)

    I just simply sent him a text where I thanked him for lunch, and wished him luck on his search.
    I recieved a ” Whatever, Its your loss” So it goes to show I made the right move.

    @Kennedy from Boston; Your sugar seems like a complete gentleman, congrats!!!
    @No June Cleaver; Thats above and beyond kindness, I wish you guys well :)
    @Honey; Great post, definetly a great attitude to have always, Ill keep it in mind.

  366. cleo says:

    (still not caught up)
    .
    dw: you know, thank you for turning that sideways for me, you’re totally right. why do i persist in talking to men who don’t hear me?

    awesome. i love when my thoughts get turned sideways
    .
    honey: hi!!

  367. Dandelion Wine says:

    *Not trying or letting (oops, need more sleep)

  368. No June Cleaver says:

    Great opening, Honey, and very fitting for the sugar lifestyle, indeed! Funny about you looking at old receipts. I have a receipt of the first pair of shoes my very first sugar daddy bought me. They were $595 and I was in total sticker shock! I keep the receipt in one of my diaries and look at it from time to time! I live on both coasts and yes, while in the east coast, I spend some time up north and other times I am in the south part of the east coast. I rarely make it to Texas.

    @RTB – I have many, many inspiring stories I can share so if I ever need to pull out another one, let me know! I work extremely hard and help people when I can so blame it on good karma or whatever…I have been truly blessed in the sugar bowl. I have a diary filled with stories of the generosities my sugar daddies have awarded me with.

  369. Dandelion Wine says:

    Cleo, you are right and I’m sorry.
    I could have just clarified SG2’s comment without trying to explain it in the context of your situation.
    My advice to you would be to not waste time on men that don’t listen on the first date. Those that are really interested in you would be paying attention to your every word and trying to figure you out, not try to sales pitch you or let you talk without actually paying attention.

  370. Honey says:

    Does my sassiness upset you?
    Why are you beset with gloom?
    ‘Cause I walk like I’ve got oil wells
    Pumping in my living room…..
    ..
    Does my sexiness upset you?
    Does it come as a surprise
    That I dance like I’ve got diamonds
    At the meeting of my thighs?

    bringing all my posts back to the original topic. I try to convey high expectations to everything I do, dating also.My motto, is “I don’t have the right to nag(they already may have someone to do that for them), I have the right to leave. All that means is I’m not bargaining to lower my standards. they can accept them or go find someone else.Like any deal, be prepared to walk away. If he doesn’t follow, he wasn’t the one and you have saved some time by finding it out sooner rather than later. I email and talk for at lest a few days and NEVER put out on the first date. Don’t know how many times I have to stress that. Aren’t you worth waiting for? If you don’t believe it, he surely won’t. That’s a clip from Maya Angleou, that I opened with. I try to read inspiring things and read over my old emails and love letters and yes, even old receipts of gifts I have received, to re-remind myself that HE’S the lucky one getting a great deal in me and I will always have other takers to enjoy my company if he chooses not to. I’m starting a blog,A facebook on, not really live yet, will tell more there later.
    June, where are you? For some reason I think of you as being in the north. and Hey I’m not above letting anybody buy me a good meal!!!

  371. Bela says:

    What an amazing kind hearted man! That left me speechless.

  372. Reach the Beach SB says:

    Ladies – Those stories are what keep us going! I, too, have been very fortunate and know that there are amazing men out there! Thanks for the inspiration!

  373. No June Cleaver says:

    Good for you, Honey!! I say that all the time too. Have passport, will travel. :-)

    As a sidenote to SBs: Not all the stories are going to be as extravagant as my receiving a $4,500 check on a first date or Kennedy’s SD bearing gifts on their first date OR Honey’s splurge at Tiffany’s, bit that isn’t even really the point. Those were all extremely generous gestures from men who understand the sugar daddy lifestyle and really want to fulfill the role. Whether it is any of those things above or just a dinner and help with school books, the main point is that a real and genuine SD will never make you feel uncomfortable…EVER…and will go out of his way to make sure you feel very special as his sugar baby. In return, we give them the pampering and spoiling in the ways that we can to show our appreciation! And that is truly what this lifestyle is all about. Those who don’t get it, don’t belong here. But I guess just like anything else in life, you have to take the bad with the good and by doing this, we appreciate so much more when the good comes along!

    xoxo,
    June

  374. Honey says:

    on my way out the door!1 June, have passport, will travel!

  375. Honey says:

    And for my sharing bit,this week for my weekly splurge, we went to Tiffany’s and I got a new tiffany lock, the rose gold, large.

  376. No June Cleaver says:

    @Honey – the only thing I did was screen well and then totally be myself! We just happen to be a wonderful, wonderful match!! I just adored everything about him.

    Wish I lived near Houston, I would take you up on lunch and probably fight you and Gail to cover the tab too. 😉

  377. Honey says:

    You go June, You deserve it. Now you give me something to aim for!!!I shall sit at your feet and learn from the Mistress!!

  378. No June Cleaver says:

    Since we are on sharing great SD experiences mode today, I would like to shine the spotlight on my SD date last weekend. (This is the one that will be my arrangement, I feel. I will know more after our second date this weekend.)

    We hit it off so well and the conversation just flowed so naturally as if we had known one another for years. During our conversation, we discussed how I love to help people and if I were ever in a position to be a philantrhopist, it would make me the happiest. Later on in the conversation, I mentioned a predicament one of my family members is in (and only because it fit with the topic at the moment – not because I wanted to ask for help…AT ALL). He asked a few more questions about the situation and we talked about it then moved on to another topic. Dinner arrived and it never came up again. We had such an amazing time. He was SO sweet and kind, has amazing eyes and a smile that makes you melt. We both had our cars in valet so after dinner as we waited for our cars, we exchanged our utter delight in how the date went and shared we were both excited to meet again. Our cars arrived, he walked me to mine and asked me to wait for a moment in my car. He then returned to my car with a check for $4,500 and told me to give it to my family member to get them out of their mess. He told me to handle it however I wanted and didn’t have to mention him at all. I had tears in my eyes. I couldn’t believe it and, of course, tried not to accept it. He said to me, “Honey, I am in a position to help people now and I want to help you. I could see in your eyes how much you wanted to help your family, but couldn’t. Just take it and promise me a second date.”

    I drove home in total disbelief. I was floating and couldn’t believe this man’s selfless generosity. He expected NOTHING in return. We have planned for our second date and it is planned in a very romantic setting. I have had extremely generous SDs in the past, don’t get me wrong…but I was starting to lose hope this time around with some of the d-bags writing me from SA. So ladies, hang in there. Those REAL SDs are on the site and if you stick it through, you will meet one!

    I’m still floating….

  379. Honey says:

    Gail, let’s not get in the over generous hostess mode. That’s MINE!! Of course I will let you pay for dinner.I like gifting my friends, I find it fun, why not let someone else have some fun too?Maybe if I fly out there to meet you,depending on where in cali you are. My brother in in the La la land environs, and I have a painting that I just bought for a friend who lives in San Diego, that I was going to try to get over to- maybe hand deliver and connections in Carmel. Have you been to Nepenthe?oops, I think I’m rambling…lol!
    Hi Cleo and anyone else I may have left out!!!

  380. No June Cleaver says:

    @Kennedy from Boston – Congratulations and what an AWESOME testimonial for all SBs! Those are the types of experiences I am accustomed to as well and you are 100% correct. SCREEN! SCREEN! SCREEN!

  381. Honey says:

    Kennedy! Nice!! Gold star for you!! are you anywhere near Southie/Southy?Had a sd from there, flew me in from houston for st.patricks day during that year that that freaking cold snap closed down the whole eastern seaboard,my flight was diverted to Rhode island and I missed Everything! He didn’t mind as much cause we were snowed in most of the time! happy st. paddies day!

  382. cleo says:

    ps i’ll read and catch up later, just wanted to answer people who were taking to me

  383. cleo says:

    dw i find your assumptions about my behaviour intriguing. i was simply asking sg2 what he meant after experiencing a fair number of men who didn’t listen. no where did i say i didn’t listen to them.
    .
    sg2: thanks for clarifying, i wondered. there are a lot of sd’s where it is their way or no way, and others who strive to do exactly what a lady needs and still more who think they listen but don’t. i think some combination of one and two is probably ideal :)
    .
    gail: for some reason my posts were disappearing yesterday, even more odd they’re all there today and i never saw them go up. to me they just disappeared unposted or anything. was most odd and then this morning there they all are…

  384. Gail says:

    Honey…I wish I could : ( but I am in Cali right now. I hope we can do it another time when I fly in. By the way…I would probably try to pay the tab..it’s hard to break my nice habits : )

    Kennedy~Yayyy for you. Gifts are some of the nices thing to receive. One of my gifts was a laptop…I am on it right now from one of my sugar daddy friends.

    Four minutes…I’m going to be late for work….off I goooooo…see ya later sugar family.

  385. @Honey – a $200 gift card to Nordstrom and $100 to Victoria’s Secret. Quite sweet for our first date.

  386. Bela says:

    Honey – You are adorable :)

  387. Honey says:

    Kennedy-what did you get as gifts, if I may ask? I’m on springbreak and can chat now!!!whoohoo!!

  388. Gail says:

    Morning Everyone!

    SD Guru~I am back from sugar vacation too : ) It was only a day, definately needed. I see they posted my filtered post from yesterday…see it up there…somewhere, thank you by the way.

    Siren~First of all welcome : ) Everyone has given you such great advice, there no need for me to add anything.

    Cleo…Cleo…did you go on vacay too? (smiling)

    Morning RTB…I hope you have a wonderful day…you deserve it: )

    Lisa~Isn’t Percy a pidgeon, not a parrot or a dove? right~ Coo…Coo…Coo.. to him. But thats wierd a male bird making a nest.

  389. Honey says:

    No one took me up on my offer,I’ll make another- similar and sincere.
    Any sugarbaby wanna -be wanna do lunch? I’m in Houston until thursday Then I’m gone off to a b and b with my sd and I’m back in town by tuesday.I’m offering a free lunch where you can be sure you don’t have to put out! Let a woman be nice to another woman, no strings. Come on! it’s a free lunch, there IS such a thing! I know I’m not a SD, but I’ll pay for lunch!!

  390. Thank you! It really was good screening (it helped that his email addy is also his last name which allowed me to google his corporation)! He has “mentored” before which makes it so easy, no need to explain it all :)
    I’m wishing everyone the same luck!!!

  391. Honey says:

    Congrats Kennnedy! Show ’em how to do it!

  392. Bela says:

    Good Morning Sugars!

    Anna Molly – Good luck to you hon. I hope you mother pulls through quickly and smoothly.

  393. @Siiren I too had a first date yesterday and he came bearing gifts! It was a pleasant surprise, definitely not expected AT ALL. We had a wonderful lunch, great conversation and he is a REALLY great guy. I definitely lucked out.
    He made it clear he wants to help my in all my pursuits, career and further education. He knows I have a hard time talking about money so after our date he emailed me asking if during our next date we could talk about allowance (in person) because he feels it is important. I am glad he took the first step because I am SO awkward but I know the conversation needed to happen. He is such a gentleman I think this is really how it should be handled. We left each other smiling and I gave him a warm hug, there was no sex talk, pressure or making me feel bad about anything I am seeking.
    Don’t ever let someone make you feel bad about wanting an arrangement, if they do, take them out of your life immediately. You’re better than that.

  394. Honey says:

    Morning all. Happy ides of march. Beware the ides of march! Normally the ides fall on a different date, for the other months, but the 15th is when Caesar was killed and my darling baby brother born!! Happy Birthday! and go Gooeyducks!!
    Anna Molly, sorry that your mom’s not feeling well, hope she starts to feel better ,really.
    Lisa, I have a friend in my legal classes who has a credit repair/fight business. I could give you her number and she will talk to you for free and maybe tell you more about some of your options.Siren- I would drop him to the wayside kick him to the curb…

  395. Anna Molly says:

    Thank you everyone for your kind words and support. She is doing very well and hopefully she’ll be moved from ICU pretty soon.

    Talk to everyone soon!

    xoxo

  396. Enigma SD says:

    Siren – I always view people by their actions and not their words, but in this case, even his words aren’t good. My advice is to NEXT him right now. People put their best foot forward in the beginning, and if this is his best, it can only get worse. If he was a real SD, he would have had an open conversation about the allowance when you brought it up…. instead he played “the prostitution card,” which is almost as low as it gets. MOVE ON NOW!

  397. Lily says:

    Morning, cutie!

  398. Reach the Beach SB says:

    Siren – Thank him for the date and keep looking.

    Morning sugars!

  399. Lily says:

    I’m squicked out & appalled as well by this guy Siiren met. I’ve been in that position before with a man with a horrible, bitter attitude about his end of an arrangement.

    I’ll say it AGAIN: so many men out there badly want to date (to put it tactfully) SBs, but aren’t actually AT ALL into being an SD.

  400. No June Cleaver says:

    Whoops! Hit ‘post’ to soon.

    @Siiren“…how do I approach the situation?”

    Removing his reaction from your bringing up allowance, it sounds like you guys hit it off otherwise. You know him better than we do and so then have to decide based on your other interactions with him (email, calls, texts leading up to the first date) if you want to continue pursuing an arrangement relationship with him. However, before meeting him again, I would make sure you get the allowance talk out of the way and reach an agreement. You can let him know that you realize the allowance discussion is not always comfortable and that is why you prefer to get it out of the way upfront so you can begin getting to know one another without having to bring it up again. But make sure you are very clear in expressing you are not comfortable moving forward without understanding fully the financial details of your arrangement. If he reacts in the same way he did above, NEXT him for sure!

  401. No June Cleaver says:

    @Siren – This man totally disregarded your very genuine attempt at bringing up a topic that is important with this type of dating, yet not always easy to talk about. (This is why I said a genuine and serious SD will ALWAYS bring it up first….one, because he is a gentleman and two, because he understands we are seeking some type of support.) Your date took it a step further by using ammunition like the word “prostitution” to make it appear as though you are doing something wrong – his tactic of breaking you down. I’m appalled by his behavior.

  402. Lily says:

    Right. A true SD will not try to sleep with you until he’s placed an allowance of good faith into your hands/account. Real SDs know we don’t put up a profile on SA soley to get laid. We are seeking financial support & need not make apologies for that.

  403. The Lone Gunman currently in Australia says:

    @Siren

    DW makes a good point; from your description, he comes across like someone stringing you along as far as he can without any allowance at all. The rewards would appear to be all on his side, while the risks are all on yours.

    This may be a classic attempt to obtain a test drive. Whether he gets it or not is up to how you feel about that sort of thing.

    TLG

  404. Dandelion Wine says:

    Siren, are you asking if you should go on a second date with him and discuss all of the details as well as receive your allowance before continuing to build any kind of relationship further, or are you asking if you should sleep with a stranger who hasn’t put you at ease and is not even treating you like a lady?

  405. Siiren says:

    Hi sugars!

    Ive come in for some advice.

    I went on a sugar date earlier today. It was great, laughter, good conversation and attraction. Seemed like we had covered all the basis EXCEPT for allowance.
    Considering the fact that my potential sugar wanted to start the arrangement right after lunch, 2hr after meeting, I thought it be appropriate that i bring up allowance since he didnt seem to do it.
    I very politely asked “how he likes spoiling his sugar babies” and he answered i prefer to give allowances and did not elaborate. I than proceeded by asking ” do you have a budget hun, what has it been like in the past?”
    And he answers ” im very well off, and generous- so lets not talk about money because it makes this seem like prostitution”
    Obviously after that it was awkward,. I politely said, ” i didnt mean to make things seem as such, i just wanted things clear” since he had no problem talking about sex and his past experiences.
    I refused to go home with him but he messaged me after very interested to start an arrangement in a day or two,,. how do i approach this situation?

  406. stephan says:

    @ NJC Thank you! 😀 Kool Aide and some ice cream and reading your and all the other great content = my sugarheaven!

    @SDGuru Thank you so much for everything and hope your vacation has been relaxing (the new and familiar faces on the blog have been a delight!)

  407. Cali SB says:

    Gail — I don’t know what Crescent City is. I live in Los Angeles. But yes, I am out of state right now so I wasn’t there for the tsunami aftermath, but I hear nothing really happened there. I can’t believe the devastation in Japan though; how incredibly sad. :(

    AM — I’m so sorry to hear about your Mom. I hope she continues to recover quickly. I know how scary it can be to think of losing a parent. My Dad has been battling cancer for nearly a year now (one of the reasons I am in back East right now) and it’s very scary. Life is short, best to never let anything go unsaid!

    • SD Guru says:

      Wow, I’m taking a vacation over spring break and didn’t access the blog for 48 hours and all heck broke loose… Since I didn’t catch the drama in real time it’s taken me hours to go back and retrace the steps by reading comments that are left as well as those that are gone. It’s definitely not my idea of how to spend my vacation! But I digress…

      What made this episode of blog drama different is that it involved long time posters with well known track records and it was triggered by something we’ve all seen in this blog before. Perhaps people were having a bad day due to lack of sleep or personal drama in their lives and overreacted. Whatever the case, I’m disappointed by the behavior of the people involved, and I appreciate those who attempted to steer the dialog in the right direction.

      As far as I know, no one has been banned from posting… yet. So if you’re having problem posting then please email me and I’ll look into it. Now let’s get back to behaving as mature adults and play nicely!! :)

  408. No June Cleaver says:

    @Stephan“…people who comment and lurk, and staying in tune with the truth of it all is what i can only hope to do!”

    Keep serving the Kool-Aid, Stephan. It’s good! (translation: good work with the blog writng! And I am with RTB, great job with always providing new content! :-)

    @First Time Blogger – Sorry about your 2nd date going bust. No fun, but it happens sometimes and who can predict it really? Even when first date goes exceptionally well, there is no guarantee the next one will flow smoothly. People have bad days and not to mention, misunderstandings take place so easily at times even when we think we are clear. I have been there. It is how you move forward now and apply any lessons learned. It seems you have a nice ground foundation by which you believe in so that is awesome. Best of luck to you!

    @Honey – I agreee with a lot of what you said and approach my sugar dating in the same manner. You should never just “put up” with someone and vice versa. It has to be rewarding (and genuine) on both sides!

  409. Honey says:

    What are some of the right moves you’ve taken so far with your sugar daddy dating? I think someone else may have already said it before, screen, screen, screen. I let them come to me. Much better to already know that you are his type.I call everyone’s bluff.if they try to drop little things they have done for other girls, not me, I mention that all my previous boyfriends have always treated me right and I expect that as a minimum. No touching, nothing more than a chaste kiss on the first date. I usually don’t ever mention money the first few dates. I tell the truth, even if it means saying no to spending the night at his house, hotel or yacht. I’m neither easy or cheap. If they call and ask me to do something that I don’t find fun, I tell them no, nicely and let them have another chance at winning my attention. I let them know that there are others trying for the same place but only one can win my affections, maybe him, if he tries hard enough.I don’t call them. I let them call me. Works for me. And.. Dating a POT, as some call it, is a great way to get to know and like your benefactor. Bottom line, he really just wants to make you happy and be appreciated for it.I show my appreciation in and out of bed. I think that is a must also. A guy can tell if you are just putting up with him…I’ve heard so many tales of some women just laying there”letting” him. I am a full participant in my sex life with my benefactor! Here goes,really radical stuff to some: if you are having sex with someone and only one person is getting off and the same person is leaving money on the table as he goes out the door…that is not the TRUE sugarbaby lifestyle to me,just my two cents…I adore my papi, I’m his babygirl and he wants to see me happy, not be “serviced” by me. He could get that anywhere for much cheaper… climbing down off of my soapbox now.

  410. Ms. Taken says:

    Night (for now) Sugars.

  411. Ms. Taken says:

    I see you, RTB 😉 Done with your homework? Whenever I’m this chatty it means I’m delaying the pain of my own. (Dragging self off and away from blog) How bad can it be that I’d rather haunt an empty blog than do the dastardly task? I really am incorrigible LOL 😉

    Good for him. How old is that in parrot years? Poor Percy, he’s been at that nest building exercise for a while now; must not be very good at it (who can blame him). It does say something about his persistence though.

  412. Lisa says:

    Ms. Taken Percy is doing fine, he turns 3 in May. Spends all of his time trying to build a nest, very odd for a male bird who has only been around humans since he was a month old.

  413. Reach the Beach SB says:

    Anna Molly – Lots of well wishes for your mom. Take care of yourself.

  414. Gail says:

    Welcome First Time Blogger and Kennedy. Thank you for your posts. It sounds like both of you have everything under control :) Wishing you both bushels of sugar!

    Wow….nice to see alot of the familiar bloggers : ) DC…I am trying to get back there…but work has to be a priority right now. My fella in VA is losing his patience with me. I hope all of you have plenty of fun.

    Anna Molly…sorry to hear about your mom being ill. Your so lucky she is doing better. My father died at the age of 40. He was such a workaholic. Thank goodness I started to slow down and enjoy my life, history could have repeated itself with me. I wish you well and send you hugs : )

    Nico!!!Nice to see you : ) Now I know who to go to should if I am ever in need for the 411. Thank you for the helpful info. I am sure it will help not just Lisa but others on here that are too shy to post.

    Welcome again Ms. Taken. You should post more. Love hearing your experiences.

    Lily…dance your heart away…we will clap for you!!!!

    It’s such a nice new day…maybe turning the clock back helped.

  415. cleo says:

    *huggs* anna molly!

  416. Ms. Taken says:

    AM – Talk about a scare! I’m so glad your Mom’s doing better. She sounds like a fighter to get the best of those two. Here’s hoping she continues to improve and have a short and full recovery! You take it easy also. ((hugs))

    Hearty welcome back Red Maru. Here’s hoping we get to “see” more of you.

    Hi Nico and thx!

    Lilly – always good to see you and happy things are going well for you. You don’t blog nearly enough, btw 😉

    Hi Lisa – What is Percy doing these days? You don’t talk about him much anymore; hope he’s OK.

  417. Lisa says:

    Glad to hear your mom is goind better Anna Molly. I know how scary that can be when my dad passed on christmas day. He was in ICU and had to be put on a ventilator, he had sepsis and died of septic shock which can happen to anyone

  418. Lisa says:

    Hi Nico and thanks for addressing my question. I haven’ been served yet but received 4 letters friday from attorneys wanting me to hire them and they had put on the letter that the cc had filed suit on march 8. This card should have reached sol in february (texas law is 4 years from last activity. in my case I had closed the card in 2004 and paid for the next 3 years but with the outrageous interest, the 200 a month I paid only took about 10 off the debt each month. I had met someone who was going to help me file bankruptcy but he was a time waster so I just had to stop, I was living on cash advances and had just had a breakdown. They had threatened to sue me in 2007 but I wrote them a letter and they vanished, appear a year later, vanished and now at the last moment apparently they’ve filed suit. I have no money and my priority is survival, the basics. I was stressed out at work and will probably get in trouble for that as my job is hanging. i’m an emotional mess and have had several breakdowns in the past years.

    I havent really used my bank in years and I get paper checks that I cash at work, have always done this. And in Texas they cannot garnish wagers, and a single person has exemption of 20k. I don’t have anything but old furniture, old computer, no fancy electronics, no car, no house, nada. I read that as soon as they bring the papers, I need to file an answer to the court which I will, i’ll type up what my situation is and why sueing me would be a waste of time as I have nothing and don’t see my self striking it rich or even being able to buy decent groceries anytime soon. heck I seldom have any food in the house but to me i’d rather have an empty fridge than deal with the stress of an extra day at that hellhole I work at. Anyway I see this situation as the ending point to any happiness that I ever had.
    Thanks again for actually answering the question I had asked. :)

    And as far as the dog walking thing, The people I live around are either elderly and enjoy walking their own dogs or they are younger people who like to walk their own dogs. with the economy the way it is, I think hiring someone for that would be the first thing to be cut out. Anyway as I said, I live in an apartment and you don’t conduct any kind of business, not even babysitting here. And posting anything on the apartment property will get you a violation notice and fine, advertising on the lightpoles in the neighborhood or anything like that is also illegal and there are people from the civic organizations that go around removing those signs and getting in touch with those who put them there.

    Thanks again Nico.

  419. DC says:

    hey everyone!

    for those in the dc area, 4 of us blog SBs (VA SB, ESB, sugar barbie & I) are getting together this saturday. if you want to join, let me know! & we can coordinate via email and i can give you the deets.

    <3

  420. Thanks Reach the Beach, I just started reading and decided to add my two cents :)
    I appreciate the warm welcome!!

  421. Anna Molly says:

    Hey everyone! I’ve had a very bad few days. My Mom has been in ICU with an infection and she had a stroke on top of that. She has been on a ventilator for a few days and we thought she was going to die, but, today I get a phone call from her! She is off the ventilator and doing well. What a scary, scary thing to have happen. Hope everyone is well!

    xoxo,
    Anna Molly

  422. Lily says:

    Loving this month of March. Awesome month for my career in so many ways!!!

    And, sugar (& non-sugar-life) is so sweet…. Feel like doing the dance of joy! (a la Balkie Bartokomous).

  423. Nico says:

    Lisa – I scanned through messages and responses to your specific question and while I might have missed it, I didn’t see where your questions was specifically addressed.

    I believe, in the original post you had indicated you had not been served. While most states have their own way of operating, there’s pretty much a standard. Just because you’re not served (officially) doesn’t mean you cannot still be sued. If they can show and attempt was made (usually through an affidavit from the process server) they will then go the next route, which may be posting something generic in a local newspaper. In any event, if you do not receive the papers they may still proceed against you and obtain a default judgment, which will likely include the collections costs/attorney’s fees in addition to the balance on the card. With that default judgment they can then garnish your wages and, if they know where you bank, garnish you account. Even if you only have $.40 in your account…..say for example, you cash your check and the garnishment has already been served, they can take the entire check and you’re left with nothing.

    It’s not like child-support which is done based on a schedule (overnights/income etc.) You’re actually better off accepting the papers (instead of dodging a server) and appearing in court and pleading your case, and working out an arrangement – offer $20/mo or something….whatever you an afford….it’s either that or they’ll likely come after you for a lot more.

    I hope this doesn’t freak you out but I did this for a living here in Colorado for a number of years and while states may vary some in their process, the bottom line is the same. It’s better to deal with the demon head-on than to hide from it.

    You should still have my email if you have ANY questions – I am happy to do what I can to help. *HUGS*

  424. The Lone Gunman currently in Australia says:

    Blog Moderation Process

    When the need arises the blog moderation team will post a warning to ask everyone to refrain from inciting flame and personal attacks. Offending comments may be removed, and after two warnings the repeat offenders may be banned from posting. As a last resort, commenting on the blog may be temporarily suspended if it becomes necessary.

    – SD Guru

    I see. So posting a comment supported by factual historical posting on the blog (should someone wish to look) constitutes offensive behavior resulting in the Banhammer being unleashed, with said comment removed from the blog.

    Good to know.

    TLG

  425. RedMaru says:

    Hey Everybody!
    Been busy I see that I’ve missed some things as usual. The weather’s finally warming up here in GA…thank goodness. Let see in a nutshell migraines can be a you know what…My cat seems to have more energy after being relieved of reproductive capabilities…I thought that calmed them down? And my sugar search for a benefactor mentor and friend goes on as do the bills

  426. First Time Blogger says:

    Well, I have found myself new to this site and new to this blogging portion of Sugar Babies and I definitely have some words to share on this topic. As a newbie, I have recently met with my first SD two times and being upfront really is the most important with any kind of arrangement. I usually feel that I am assertive and upfront about what I’m looking for and how I want to be respected, not that this man disrespected me in anyway, but after spending two dates with him I realized that we both had been wasting our time. With a somewhat dramatic exit, on my behalf – I’m an artist, just let me live my life haha – I ended up leaving what was our second date because he truly didn’t have the same intentions. It is frustrating because when everything seems to be happening so fast – when you’ve declined other dates and put effort into one SD, it gets upsetting when it doesn’t work out.

    So my advice, be as upfront and nitty gritty during the first date. Literally spit out anything and everything you feel is necessary. This doesn’t mean write your first e-mail and say the exact amount you want for a monthly arrangement fee, it means go on the first date – a lot of these guys will surprise you by wanting to maybe even give more than you intended – but get out the most important things you want to say because you don’t get a second first date. If that makes any sense.

    Don’t fake it either. I understand a lot of girls think they can just bite their tongue through a first date because maybe they have dollar signs in their eyes, but that will never help you. Most of these men are looking for an ongoing relationship – just like you would if you had met outside of a website. If you fake it once, then you better be a great actress and able to fake it every time because as soon as your gut starts to reveal the real you – it’s no fun on either parties front. And you will honestly disappoint a man that maybe has already bought you a gift or done something completely generous for you. You aren’t the next academy award winner Natalie Portman playing dual lives in your head, just be yourself because acting will only get your feeling down and hurting others.

  427. stephan says:

    NJC: Thank you, and thank you and all for the great comments and the great additions to the pages!

    RTB: Thank you! The comments have been something so amazing – i can’t think of words that can do justice to the ways… but. the sugar gods have granted this little tucked away http with the people who comment and lurk, and staying in tune with the truth of it all is what i can only hope to do!

  428. Reach the Beach SB says:

    NJC – Stephan always puts up great topics! You would think it’d be tough after a few years, but I think the comments help fuel his train of thought. It’s also good to get back to basics…sometimes we need to regroup and recharge in order to bring our A game.

    Stupid homework…gotta get to it!

  429. SouthernGent2 says:

    Cleo – I understand what you are saying. After going through the school of sd / sb lessons, I have learned what works and doesn’t work for me. I feel it best to tell her what I am willing to do. She can accept it or reject it. While my post doesn’t show it, I can be flexible and will listen to what her needs might be.

  430. No June Cleaver says:

    Back to the regularly scheduled program…shall we?

    Regarding the blog post: In my opinion, #2 “Knowing what to expect from your sugar daddy or sugar baby”, #4 “Writing messages to potential sugar daddies or sugar babies” and lastly #6“Going on a first date with a sugar daddy or sugar baby.” are the most important areas to focus on to ensure success in sugar dating pursuits.

    Knowing what to expect: Communicating exactly what it is you need, want and desire in your relationship and encouraging your potential SB/SD to express the same is so vitally important even before the first date. This way, expectations are outlined by both parites and you can move forward knowing you are at least on similar wavelengths. Any minor discprepancies (minor being the KEY word here…not major red flags) can be discussed during that first date.

    Writing messages: A lot can be communicated in those initial letters. Within those exchanges, you can really tell quite a bit and actually touch on the above (expectations). You have to do what works for YOU. Short and flirty doesn’t work for me because I found that tends to get me the “looking for party girl to spoil” type of guy and that isn’t in line with what I desire. My messages are lengthier and that has helped me with attracting the type of man I want as my SD.

    The first date: This is when you find out if there will be chemistry. Regardless of exchanges leading up to the first meeting (email, calls), only on the first face to face can you really tell if there will be chemistry and if this is going to be a fit for both of you. As I mentioned above, there are certain things I follow for the first date (from what I wear to brushing up on world events, etc). Well, quite honestly, I always do those things anyway whether it is the first, second or fortieth date!

    This was a great blog post, by the way. A lot of helpful advice. Although I am not a “newbie”, I am often surprised at some simple things I might overlook that others bring to the table!

  431. cleo says:

    omg seriously, who sends an sb an email that says
    “wow”
    “what an incredible profile”

    what’s the POINT? just to tell me i’m amazing? i never get the men that stop me in the street to tell me i’m gorgeous either … stop me, admire me, and walk on. is that like me walking by and saying “nice coat” ?

  432. Dandelion Wine says:

    Cleo, I am taking SG2’s comment to mean that if she did listen and what he is offering is not what she wants, then she should next him and look for someone who can offer what she is looking for, instead of agreeing with an intention of “changing his mind” later. That line of thinking might be what leads aspiring SBs (and women in general) to disappointment.
    You would be better served to listen carefully at the meeting and determine if a gentleman is able and willing to meet your needs, rather than tell him what your needs are and let him slide his hand down your pants assuming that it must mean his acceptance of your terms (that he probably wasn’t listening to because he was staring at your chest)

  433. Dandelion Wine says:

    CurrBurr, I’m with Michael and NJC – don’t let him know you know.
    instead practice your “acceptance speech” :)

  434. Gail says:

    Good morning All~It’s a new morning : ) Last nite the rain came down in droves. I hope it washed the ugly attitudes away. I still see the itsy bitsy spider climbing up the water spout…lol…

    Waving Wildly at RTB and Cleo. Good morning..good morning…coffee and mucho sugar pumping thru me. I have to head back to work…see you all.

    Carebear~He really doesnt know you know about the trip? Come on now…..you don’t have to be smart to figure that one out. Have a better day by the way, don’t let frustration get the best of you : )

  435. SA Blog Administrator says:

    Blog drama and personal attacks are not new, when it happens it’s not the first and it won’t be the last time. Cast of characters can come and go in this blog and there will always be fireworks. It usually starts off with people having differing opinions, then somewhere along the way some people interpreted things one way vs another, then it gets into a heated argument with people taking sides, then it doesn’t take much to spiral into name calling and personal attack, then people’s feeling get hurt, then….. well you get the idea.

    I think we can all agree this is a very active and sometimes entertaining blog. In a group of this size there is certainly a wide range of opinions which is very healthy. We can’t control how people choose to expresses themselves, so the only control we have is how we choose to react and respond to them.

    Here are some suggestions that could make our experience in this blog more constructive and enjoyable:

    1. Think before you hit the “submit” button. Ask yourself, how will my post be perceived by others? As I have said before, our reputation in this blog is our words, and it’s easy for others to see what we’re made of. If you disagree with something, do so with respect and class.

    2. Ignore the flame. In every online forum I have been a part of there are people who take pleasure in spewing off flame bait to get others all worked up. Don’t take the bait! The more you respond the messier it gets.

    3. Have a sense of humor and don’t take yourself too seriously. And by the same token, don’t take the other person too seriously either. Personal attack hurts, but in the grand scheme of things is it a big deal? Do we really have anything to prove to anyone here?

    In addition, please refrain from posting personally identifiable information of others, such name, location, place of employment, etc.

    Discussing differing opinions in a constructive manner is always welcome in the blog. However, personal attacks and name calling are not. We’re here to share our experiences and learn from each other, so let’s focus on doing that!!

    Blog Moderation Process

    When the need arises the blog moderation team will post a warning to ask everyone to refrain from inciting flame and personal attacks. Offending comments may be removed, and after two warnings the repeat offenders may be banned from posting. As a last resort, commenting on the blog may be temporarily suspended if it becomes necessary.

    – SD Guru

  436. cleo says:

    SG2: so it sounds like it’s your way or the highway and even if she did listen but needed something different that would next her.

    i might be speaking from my own experience after having met several sd’s that don’t listen whatsoever to a thing the lady has to say but sometimes what we need and what you offer don’t match…

    do you listen to them the same way?
    .
    reach the beach: it’s such campy awesomeness. i used to watch gossip girl but i’m over it now, ever since blair decided to take over new york university and rule as the queen… i just lost interest.

    as for the rest of what you said, i totally agree but it’s the internet, people have to police their own behaviour and very few are willing to do so.

  437. Carebear says:

    I know I was going to let him surprise me, I’m just having fun yankin his chain in the meantime.

    But it did what I wanted and changed the topic of conv!

    Lily you just received a frantic message with lots of exclamation points.

    For anyone that would like to read, or knows how to read, or has an attention span longer than a hamster. My blog is now linked if you click on my name, where you will see a long story about my trip to Africa. I will follow up accordingly with pictures as I upload them this week.

    I emailed this story to a few friends this morning and I’ve already gotten one shocking response:
    “my good friend is from Sa, he had a break in right before he moved. His sister was shot and killed that night.”

  438. carebear says:

    Ok ok fine I’ll let him do it. I was going to because (believe it or not) I don’t have the heart to burst his bubble. But its been fun teasing him in the meantime.

    Lily you just received a frantic message with lots of exclamation points.

    Linked through my name is my blog, where I just posted my story of my trip to Africa. A bit tailored to conceal a few things, and VERY long. For those of you that have the attention span of a hamster.

    I think I’ll post pictures accordingly as I upload them this week.

  439. SouthernGent2 says:

    Carebear – I always tell a girl from the start what I will or won’t do. Its that simple. She doesn’t have to ask. And if she does, then she didn’t listen to me to begin with. And if she still asks, then she isn’t for me.

  440. Lily says:

    I vote surprise!
    And I want you to message me privately the dates, and we can double date for dinner.

  441. Reach the Beach SB says:

    Good morning sugars!

    Carebear – The e-mail may have been his way of surprising you, but I would still give him time to tell you in person. Perhaps he has a grand idea of how he’s going to tell you. It would be disappointing to take that away from him.

    ***vent coming***
    As you all know, I’m passionate about treating others with respect and keeping this PUBLIC forum a safe place to come and say things that others may or may not agree with. If I recall correctly, SA has already appointed people to manage trolls, etc. Those self-appointed people should remember this fact rather than suggesting one post elsewhere. This is a great venue to practice manners, tolerance and patience which are very important characteristics in life and the sugar world.
    ***end vent***

    Gail – Nice to see you again!
    SDinLA – So nice to hear your wisdom again. I’m glad to see your lady is treating you well!
    NJC – LOVED your comments about what works for you! A great attitude and a little effort go a long way!
    KennedyfromBoston – Welcome! Have you been lurking?
    Cleo- I have been caught in the Hellcats campy web…just like Gossip Girl. I will not apologize. :-)

  442. No June Cleaver says:

    @carebear -don’t spoil it. Instead of feigning surprise when it happens, smile widely, express “wow, thank you so much, this is fabulous!” type of sentiments and generally look absolutely delighted. (Because I’m sure you will be!) Anyway, chances are this “foreshadowing” will make you have a better, more enjoyable reaction than if you were completely in the dark. At least you won’t get caught without the right attire packed for such a trip!! What a GREAT surprise! Luckyyyyyyyy!

  443. Michael Alleycat says:

    Ohhh Carebear let him surprise you. He obviously wants it to be a surprise or he would have told you by now. Prove how smart you are by keeping it to yourself….

  444. carebear says:

    New post, new attitude.

    So, I’m going to take votes.

    In may, my SD and I are going to Paris and I believe London. He doesn’t know I know this.

    A) I don’t think he thinks I’m smart enough to figure it out, and
    B) I don’t think he realized Air France sent me a reservation welcome letter since he entered my email address under ‘second passenger’.

    I glanced at his travel calendar a few months ago and remember seeing “PARIS” in may and thinking “gee I wish he would take me on that trip, much more than malaysia or argentina”. And then he mentioned while I was gone last week that he had booked a trip for may, then I received the “welcome to air france” letter in my email.

    Should I let him continue to think I don’t know and try to surprise me? Or tell him I know to prove how smart I am (because I’m so narcissistic I can’t keep it to myself)?

    Pretty lame comment, I know, but its my lame attempt to change the subject before anyone else pulls their hair out.

  445. carebear says:

    So from what I’m gathering, almost everyone felt the same way I did when I felt compelled to say something at the beginning of the convo, and many attempts have been made since the dawn of time to help her, all to no avail. I usually do skip over her comments but the idea of bankruptcy over a target card was just to ridiculous to skip over.

    So for that, I’m sorry I let it get the better of me and interject my nasty comments which in turn snowballed and started this whole circling discussion. I’m not sorry for anything I actually said.

    None of us are qualified to ‘help’ someone in her condition. We are, however, qualified to talk about sugar, as this is a SUGAR forum!

  446. The Lone Gunman currently in Australia says:

    Give up, gang.

    Lisa has received advice — good advice — several times over the past couple of years or so from the folks on this blog and has availed herself of NONE of it. There’s always going to be a reason for why the suggestion will not work or cannot be implemented based on posting history here.

    Just give up the fight to try to help her. You’ve already lost before you start.

    TLG
    ___
    (From DallasBaby):
    Yes, I see that TLG as it seems an excuse for everything ! It sounds just like my 16 year old sister and her off the wall excuses.

  447. Lisa says:

    Where do I get these dogs? Everyone seems to enjoy walking their own dogs here. It’s not like I can put up a flyer in the laundry room. Without you know someone personally that needs help or put out flyers, how do you find all these people? Mexican maids are preferred because many don’t have family here and can live in and also they work for less money. Anyway I have no desire to be a maid.

    going to bed now.

  448. Dandelion Wine says:

    thing is how does hanging around with the same help? That’s kind of like a drunk hanging out with other drunks, when he’d do better spending his time with non drinkers .
    ———
    But you are neither looking for, nor accepting help. The consensus is that you are looking to vent.
    A drunk that wants to stop drinking should hang out with the sober; a drunk that wants to complain how hard it is to quit drinking and keep drinking should hang out with other drunks.

    Also the rich neighbors hire Mexican help not because they discriminate against whites, but probably because whites don’t seek out those positions.
    If you hate children you can offer your services as a dog walker.
    You go to a park for a walk anyways; take a couple of dogs with you and make money doing something you were already doing. You have a sea of opportunity right under your nose, why not try to think about how to tap into it?

  449. Lisa says:

    Dallasbaby I don’t think I could be an exotic dancer, i’m 45 years old and flat chested and those kinds of places in Houston are spread out as I don’t think we have an area for businesses, most mens clubs are out along the highways, not really in the city.

    ok going to bed now, have to get up early

  450. Dallasbaby says:

    I know when I am down and out or have been in the past I found myself going for the quick cash route and being an exotic dancer. My family even came to the club when they found out to get me to leave, I had to tell them if they wanna pay me bills that works for me…. otherwise I gotta do this to pull myself out of the money hole. May not be for everyone but it is a legal option. I did not even have a car. I took a cab and sometimes even the club owner would give me a ride to work ! It takes a bit to get in the swing of things but before you know it you could be making 1,000 a night and meeting some good sugar daddy types along the way.

  451. No June Cleaver says:

    @Kennedy from Boston“Honesty, apparent intelligence and a cheerful personality can get you to the meeting. It is then that I use my looks to show the man that I am indeed the full package.”

    Love it. PRECISELY how I operate!

  452. Carebear says:

    This conversation is so ridiculous and redundant I can’t stand it.

    I’m still jet lagged as a mf and tired so I’m going to bed.

    Didn’t finish my blog entry but am too tired to make sense anymore, so everyone stay tuned. Oh and my story is non sugar related so i guess I’ll go promote elsewhere now.

    Night.

  453. I don’t always have to tell someone every detail regarding myself, but if I am potentially entering even a friendship with them, everything I say will be the truth.
    I am naturally an optimistic person and the men I have chatted with previously have always noted through my writing that I am an intelligent young woman.
    Honesty, apparent intelligence and a cheerful personality can get you to the meeting. It is then that I use my looks to show the man that I am indeed the full package. Some men are fine supporting a woman, but I feel more comfortable knowing I can support myself and what I am receiving from my mentor is a wealth of knowledge and some material spoiling.

  454. Lisa says:

    Ok I get your hint, i’ll go look for other depessed people, problem is so many of those people have alcohol and drug problems which I cannot tolerate as a total non drinker and non drug user.
    thing is how does hanging around with the same help? That’s kind of like a drunk hanging out with other drunks, when he’d do better spending his time with non drinkers .

    Anyway i’m go to get ready for tomorrow. I have a truck to unload.

  455. Dandelion Wine says:

    NJC, I completely agree with you and I empathize with her as well, but there are plenty of Internet communities dedicated specifically to problems like hers – why vent here?

  456. Dandelion Wine says:

    Try the neighborhood residential area then if the apt. complex doesn’t allow you to market on the premises.
    Also I babysat a ton of kids in HS without a car or a ride/driver; it really wasn’t a deterrent for the parents to have to drive and pick up a reliable babysitter that their kids liked.

    Why do you feel bad about not spending TG with your dad? Didn’t your parents live in the same complex and you could have just walked to visit your dad on any of your off days?
    I mean it’s not like you work 12 hour days and your schedule didn’t allow you to spend time with your family without advanced planning.

  457. Lisa says:

    Good evening Gail, always nice to see you :)

  458. No June Cleaver says:

    @DW – I can totally see your point and I know I am a new character here on the blog, but I have been lurking for some time. I am very familiar with Lisa’s ‘voice’ here and have found myself exasperated by her seemingly lack of action to make changes. However, knowing what I know about her personality type, I empathize with her somewhat.

    In psychotherapy (a small part of my background), there is an acceptance that some people are just wed to their problems and simply won’t take advice NO MATTER WHAT – until they are truly ready. And as SDinLA said, she just comes here to vent.

    Some people resist healing because a hidden part of them is afraid that getting over their problem will change their identity in some way. For some reason, they tell themselves that they don’t deserve to get over their problem or be happier. Whatever the rationalization, nothing will convince them. They are going to hang on to their distress with all their strength. Until they realize something HAS TO CHANGE and they are willing to put forth the effort to make that change happen – no amount of advice will help and will merely fall upon deaf ears.

    @Lisa – I don’t know if this is where you are emotionally, but my guess would be a resounding YES, based on what I have followed (read) thus far.

    Oh, and SDinLA…the saying about “leading a horse to water, but you can’t make him/her drink?” I usually follow with, “but you sure as heck can give that horse a brick of salt!”

  459. Gail says:

    Hi Cali SB….nice of you to stop by. I hope you didn’t live anywhere near Cresent City in Cali. The Tsunami from Japan destroyed the harbor there and all the boats : ( I think you are safe in PA. Have a great time.

    Thanks all for taking the time to voice all of your perspectives and opinions of Lisa.
    No June Cleaver, I like it when you look in : ) SD in LA, loved your non-Aesops fable. Please post more!!!! Cleo…I agree completely with you : )

    Lastly Lisa…I hope you feel better…I too feel better after I vent to people who care: )

  460. Lisa says:

    Dandelion Wine, I cannot babysit or do any kind of cleaning business out of my apartment (it is a violation of my lease to have clients of any kind coming to my apartment and providing services to neighbors is prohibited too. One of the residents posted flyers in all the laundry rooms offering her sewing, mending and alteration services and those flyers were quickly removed and she had a violation note on her door from the office. You can do internet business here but nothing that involves customers withing the complex. In addition there are few children living here. There are so elderly ladies that have help come in to clean and cook for them but with cheap across the border labor here, one can get a maid, cook, caregiver, someone to drive them to appointments(I cannot drive) for 25-50 dollars a week as well as most elderly being eligible for state paid home health assistance several days a week. I don’t own a car so a cleaning business is out and any kind of work within my apartment complex would get me evicted (I lived right in front of the office).

    SDinLA
    I did the depression treatment thing as madated by my employer, faked it really good to keep my job as it was not confidential and evenything I said was reported back to my employer, but deep inside, it didnt’ help me at all. My therapist closed my file and said I was ok, not depressed at all, just a very hard worker. I exploded at work on thanksgiving day because I was stocking things instead of spending the day with my family (this was my last opportunity to spend with my dad as he did christmas morning so it makes me feel even worse now) and the manager called me up, called HR and sent me to a therapist and I had hope but she did nothing but talk and talk, and make silly impractical suggestions like telling whenever i’m overwhelmed at work, take a break and take a walk around the building , well I work in a grocery store and cannot just leave and take a walk at moments notice, also suggested I sit at my desk and count to ten (I dont have a desk, I work in a grocery store so I can just take a quiet moment.

    I’m just really worried about this lawsuit thing as the sol in texas is 4 years and this would have been feb 7, 2007, and they filed the suit on march 8.

    I will not bother anyone with my concerns anymore, I was just looking to vent a little, after all it’s not like I can discuss this with my family. They are so self righteous they think anyone who has sex outside of marriage should be burned alive, that would cover just about everyone on the blog, so I don’t go to them for any of my problems.

  461. Dandelion Wine says:

    SDinLA, either way they did something to help you return to a normal way of life, not sat there and told you that there’s nothing wrong with wallowing in your own filth and not eating.

    Women that don’t want their problems solved get to vent to their friends and family (aka people whose venting she can listen to when it’s their turn) or to a therapist/psychiatrist who gets reimbursed for lending his/her time and emotional resources. Another good audience are people with the same problems, so that both of them can vent at the same time and feel like someone understands them.

  462. Dandelion Wine says:

    NJC, you make an excellent point, except that if you visit some of the backblog, you’ll see that the approach has been attempted like a thousand times, to no avail.
    I don’t think Lisa is ever going to do anything, regardless of the form of address, I just don’t want to be subjected to some stranger’s negative emotional effluent about something I really don’t care to have to concern myself with. This is sugar blog, I don’t see how Lisa’s sob stories are relevant. If she is so depressed, she should find a depression forum and vent there. Here I come to read people vent about SDs, SBs, poof daddies, poof babies, share advice, insight, and stories related to sugar/dating/relationships, maybe even love. But definitely not death, sickness, or poverty.

  463. Cali SB says:

    Hi sugar world. Stopping in to say hello after another one of my hiatuses (hiatii?? lol). I’m back on the East Coast (PA) for the next week+ visiting family and have a little more time to drop by than usual. How is everyone doing??

  464. SDinLA says:

    DW: I don’t think my, um I mean *his* friends did either. They just dragged him to a restaurant because he had lost 15 pounds and they were shocked at how gaunt he looked, and slowly but surely he decided to start participating in life again.

    CB: Mea culpa, not meant to be backhanded. Far be it for me to cast the first stone. I believe it was me a year ago who got exasperated with Lisa when she was posting as “Lisa on the other side of the freeway” and in a mean-spirited moment referred to her as “Lisa on the clinically depressed side of the freeway.”

    You and DW are actually a lot like the females I tend to befriend and even date- you’re problem solvers like men typically are, but more often than not women don’t want their problems solved, they just want a sympathetic/empathetic ear/forum. I just don’t think Lisa is looking for advice/solutions, she’s just looking to vent.

    I believe we’ve had more than one SD offer to help her with the cost of therapy, as well as a SB local to her who has contacts in the clinical therapy field who was willing to help her seek treatment as well. I think that goes above and beyond what anyone could hope to find from a bunch of “friends” on an anonymous message board, and if she did not want to avail herself of that, it’s pretty obvious she’s not coming here looking for solutions.

    We’re all here for our own reasons, and I guess I’ve been reading this blog long enough to feel like Lisa is what she is, and although in her shoes I would tend to be much more proactive as you would be, I empathize with her (also having lost a parent recently) and there’s nothing productive to come out of trying to provide solutions and then getting exasperated when she can not or does not want to act on them. You can lead a horse to water and all that.

    Don’t mind me, I’m just feeling reflective/philosophical as I sit and watch the horrific images that have been coming out of Japan in recent days, I’ll get over all this Rodney King/kumbaya/can’t we all get along BS and can go back to being snarky and making fun of SBs who want to be “muses” if that’s what’s expected of me. 😉

  465. No June Cleaver says:

    If I may interject and provide my opinion on the above conflict…please and thank you.

    I really feel carebear was trying to give constructive feedback, or I should really say, begin a dialogue of what’s called “constructive confrontation”, but perhaps her approach came across as a bit harsh rather than constructive.

    Constructive confrontations are communicated with respect for the listener – in this case, Lisa being the listener. Generally speaking, constructive confrontation target specific behaviors rather than the person as a whole. “How can you not pay bills but are still able to sign online and blog all day long?” is equivalent to saying, “If you weren’t such a pig you might fit into that dress”, which is NOT a constructive confrontation.

    What makes a confrontation “constructive” is the provision of an alternate means of behavior … a way to improve the situation. Otherwise, the listener is left only with negative feelings and no direction for improvement, as precisely what happened above. Had carebear’s message been delivered with different words, such as, “Maybe while you’re online checking out the blog, you can open up another tab and peruse the jobs on craigslist. I mean, you’re online anyway, right?” the reaction may have been different. Sometimes it is merely choices of words.

    Or not. What do I know? Just me on the outside looking in.

  466. carebear says:

    Oh, and SG2, to follow up on “she never has to ask”…..dare I bring up the allowance discussion and say “what if mortgage is 4k, credit card payments are 7k, and misc bills are 3k”…..she doesn’t need to ask then??

    I agree with you, it is bad to bring up #’s immediately, but I feel they do need to be discussed prior to meeting, as well as an inkling of chemistry or a connection. From personal experience, I’ve wasted few too many meals and too much make-up getting ready for dates with losers that can barely afford their own expenses considering how much they have left over to ‘play with’.

    Many men will say this is too difficult to establish a connection over mail, and I say ok good luck to you.

    Many men will say, I don’t want something transactional. I say, I don’t want to worry whether I can afford a new outfit for our date next weekend after I pay my car insurance.

  467. carebear says:

    Gail, according to your statement, you agree with my original purpose of posting. Lisa was being negative, and we don’t want negativity on the blog, right?

    AGAIN, I was giving feedback as she requested.

    How many times am I going to have to point that out?

    Thank you DW, once again, for seeing things so logically. #2 problem with women in business is irrational thinking. #1 is communication. And I’m not speaking of lack of communication.

    See 30 Rock episode: TGS Hates Women

    And to back up DW’s post, see the book “The Witch Must Die” by Sheldon Cashdan.

    SDinLA, I can’t tell if your comment was backhanded or not. Hmmmm.

    In much more important news, I’m working on an extensive blog entry about my trip. Should I include pictures to validate my story?? I want to but don’t feel like doing all the uploading. Ugh.

  468. Dandelion Wine says:

    Gail
    March 13, 2011 at 11:17 am
    Carebear~Please if you don’t like what others post, kindly skip the post and move on. It’s not nice or necessary to post the negative comments regarding Lisa and other SBs. This is not the first time this has happened. I hope you have a heart and rethink. So much negative energy this morning : (
    ———————-
    How is her post negative? What is truly negative is all the “awww Lisa, things are gonna get better, you will meet a prince that will save you. Any day now!” sentiment. It’s only enabling Lisa to continue with the self-destructive way of life and not take personal responsibility for making a better life for herself.
    If I remember my fairytales correctly, princes prefer to save either princesses or hardworking humble beauties; I can’t think of any non-princess that wasn’t laboring all day every day before getting rescued by the prince.

    SDinLA, did fable SD’s friend drag him out of bed and encouraged him to start taking care of his responsibilities, or did they come by just to commiserate ?

  469. Dandelion Wine says:

    Lisa, you don’t need to be a genius to babysit – if your house is clean and safe, parents will gladly drop off their kids – no need for transportation. You could offer cleaning or cooking services to your elderly neighbors, no heavy lifting required. I mean it’s not like you are making $30-$50 an hour at your day job or have a college degree and all these jobs are beneath you.

  470. No June Cleaver says:

    Very nice non Aesop fable, SDinLA. Great point and creatively delivered.

  471. No June Cleaver says:

    cleo – I mean, I know exactly what it is that I want/need/desire in terms of an allowance. I don’t mean I know verbatim what it is I am going to say.

  472. SDinLA says:

    A non Aesop’s fable for your Sunday…

    Once upon a time there was a SD. He grew up in a family riddled with dysfunction, filled with extreme cases of mood/personality disorders, and amidst the kind of reality distortion field only obscene amounts of money can breed. His childhood shaped him into an unforgiving man regarding mental health. People who needed to see a shrink were “weak.” They were no better than the feeble-minded souls who needed to rely on pills, or alcohol or other substances to help them cope with their unhappiness, not worthy of this SD’s sympathy for *he* would never in a million years ever let himself succumb to the destructive forces he had seen undermine the ability of his childhood home to be a sanctuary and safe haven for him and his siblings, he was STRONG mentally and not weak like those pitiful excuses for people.

    One day, many years later, after this SD had been extremely successful in business, eventually selling a company for a sum of money that approached beginning with a B, and spending pretty much his entire adult life proving to himself that he must have been tiger-blood brothers with Charlie Sheen because of his penchant for “winning”, this SD went through some very traumatic experiences involving his ex-wife, a former friend, and his children. These experiences left our SD, tiger blood and all, incapable of getting out of bed for almost a month. It took concerned friends and colleagues talking their way past security to literally drag the SD out of the house and eventually his funk. Our humbled, chastened and enlightened SD learned the lesson that nobody is immune to these things, and clinical depression is an illness that can cripple even the least likely of people’s ability to function.

    The End.

    CB, yes the internet is a resource. But maybe all Lisa is capable of using that resource (and the resource that is this message board) for is to vent.

  473. cleo says:

    what do you say when he brings up allowance? i’m curious since you said you ‘know exactly’

  474. Dallasbaby says:

    I have found if you do not ask you tend to not get, as I have been taken advantage of time and time again in that way by not speaking up and hoping he will be generous.

  475. No June Cleaver says:

    ahahaha. There it is!! Golly gee.

  476. No June Cleaver says:

    Where is my thumbnail?

  477. No June Cleaver says:

    Darn it. Left the ‘e’ off my email address and my photo didn’t show up above. :-(

  478. No June Cleaver says:

    Happy SugarDay to meeeeeeeee!

    I took a two year break from sugar dating. My profile has been up one month on SA and it looks like I am close to being back in a SD/SB arrangement! Met the ultimate SD yesterday and we hit it off deliciously! He is the REAL DEAL and yes, I had to go through some poison sumac (aka: penis photos and grammatically horrific letters) to find my rose! (aka: SWEETEST SD ON THE PLANET!) He is the epitome of a sugar daddy! A total gentleman. We are on the same page with what we both want. I’m a lucky, lucky, lucky, lucky SB.

    Ah…….so happy. Ok, to answer the questions.

    What are some of the right moves you’ve taken so far with your sugar daddy dating?

    I think there are different techniques that work. I don’t have a high quality photo up at all. In fact, you can barely tell what my photo is. My ammunition? My profile is so cleverly written (and yes, more than one paragraph), that I seem to attract the more serious SD (in between the less than serious douchebags with the penis pics). It is quite appealing to me when someone has actually taken the time to read my entire profile through. I state out exactly what it is I am looking for and go even further by stating exactly what it is I am NOT looking for. The SDs who write back citing something from my profile go to the top of my list. This doesn’t mean I discount the shorter letters, but the others hold my interest higher. In return, when I write a potential SD, I like to pull something from his profile; it shows I pay attention. THE FIRST DATE: I pay extra attention when getting ready for the date. I always wear a feminine and classy dress. (Class over trash always works, ladies.) I make sure that when I walk into the room, he is going to gasp just a little and think, “what a lucky S.O.B. I am!” LOL. I pay close attention during our conversation, I don’t interrupt him (ever) and I actually make sure I am up on world news before the date – shows him I’m more than just a pretty face. The men love this – usually. Well, the kind of men I like being with. I don’t discuss allowance at all until he brings it up. Once it comes up in conversation, I know exactly what it is I am going to say. (A real and genuine SD will ALWAYS bring it up on the first date!)

    All of the above is based on my personal experience, of course and I must say, I have been quite successful with my own techniques!

    How are things going in your Sugar World lately?

    See above.

    Ooooh, and cool to see my name in red above!

  479. SouthernGent2 says:

    Kudos to Boston Honey for this comment, “The girl that doesn’t ask, gets so much more…”

    Girls that ask can turn me off. If I like someone, she never has to ask.

  480. cleo says:

    gail: thanks, i just had to have them and man they make my legs look good! suddenly i see why men like my legs although i always thought my collarbone was my best feature… :)
    .
    i mostly find the opinions on this blog fascinatingly diverse, i would say that there are a few personalities who enjoy dead horses… i’m not sure there’s anything much to be done beyond come back in a few days and hope it calms down… it seems there are always multiple sides in any debate and some people don’t enjoy agreeing to disagree.

  481. Gail says:

    By the way Cleo…love the boots!!!! I wish I had the long legs to sport them.

    Lastly Carebear~. If you haven’t got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me : )

  482. Gail says:

    Carebear~Please if you don’t like what others post, kindly skip the post and move on. It’s not nice or necessary to post the negative comments regarding Lisa and other SBs. This is not the first time this has happened. I hope you have a heart and rethink. So much negative energy this morning : (

    Hello Cleo!!! I have been going thru lots of changes too ….I have to put my patience hat on, or clean house. Sugar hunt..: ) have fun!!!

  483. cleo says:

    What are some of the right moves you’ve taken so far with your sugar daddy dating?

    hmm, someone helped me dress up my wardrobe which has made me look a lot more expensive and thus i fit in now when i hit the financial district. lately i’ve been off the internet and out in person and it seems far more fun if nothing else; mostly at this point i’ve just been reconnoitering with another local sb, but i’m starting to figure out where the hunting is good in town and if nothing else we’ve had a lot of very nice dinners.

    How are things going in your Sugar World lately?

    *shrug* the more things change, the more they stay the same?

  484. cleo says:

    non sequitur much? god hellcats is ridiculous campy goodness isn’t it?
    .
    boston honey: i try to skip the phone step, it’s too intimate with someone i don’t know yet. i like to email and then text and then meet or email and then meet. and i don’t like to spend a lot of time, if i like your profile and you act respectful and you think i’m hot can we just have lunch already?

    you’re so right about the profile, heck i find myself skimming even the medium length ones now, basically looking for unique words and getting ‘tone’ so i keep mine short.

    and man, good photos are so hard to get!

  485. Gail says:

    Good Morning RTB, Lisa, DW, Carebear and all lurkers : )

    Sometimes we wonder how others are able to do things. The fact is it really doesn’t matter. This is a blog and I hope we don’t go down the path judging others again. So please stop, with the negative comments about Lisa. She has been a very long time sugar sister to many of us, and it hurts me to see post that are unnecessary.

    Now to answer a sugar question. Not feeling rejected if/when a potential SD/SB doesn’t respond – be patient.

    Rejection….I hate it..but you get over it. It’s easier to say NEXT…and look forward to the future sugar who will be perfect.

    I forgot to move my clock ahead this morning. Thank goodness I have coffee and cleaning house to look forward to today. Let’s be kind and celebrate the sugar highs and lows in a supportive way for
    everyone who comes to the blog.

  486. BostonHoney says:

    High quality awesome pictures period! Pictures,pictures, pictures. You need to grab a man’s attention fast. You have about 3 seconds. Quick, fun, profile seems to work well too. Also, I have found that not listing the amount you are interested in seems to excite men more. You will get more interest and many have said, “The girl that doesn’t ask, gets so much more…”

    Now, I try to move to quickly talking on the phone and or trying to meet for dinner (I don’t do coffee dates ever!) as that helps get the process started and you will be amazed at the guys who still try to skype, and picture collect.

  487. Lisa says:

    I tried to file bankruptcy in feb 2007 when I first became deliquent on my 6 accounts but there is no free help here. Just free consultion but no actual legal help. I had someone that I met online say that he was going to help me but he drug me along for several months and kept making excuses. anyway if I had money to file bankruptcy (keep in mind back then I was making 700 a month) I could have made payments on my cards. I have no money for anything so even a small fee is impossible. Just like I have had severe back pain the last week most likely from lifting heavy stuff at work. Everyone thinks I need to go to a doctor but it’s not an option, the copay is not do able and my insurance is crappy (but what can I expect for 5 dollars a week, right). I know I dont’ have anything worth taking but I worry about the sherif showing up at my door serviing papers, if my mom and daughter see it, they will stop talking to me and go around telling everyone my personal business. they are self righteous and love to point out others’ fault.

  488. Reach the Beach SB says:

    Good morning sugars!

    What works for me? I always get compliments on my profile…mainly because it’s not the typical “I like x,y,z” but more specific to sugar. It’s about what I can do for my SD, short and to the point. Then I”m patient. I will sometimes reach out to men, but I know my odds are better with a gentleman who has reached out to me. I definitely don’t take it personally and will typically block someone quickly with any sense of disrespect. I realize it takes time to meet the right someone and if you have limitations (schedules, etc) then it will take a bit longer. Knowing what you want and can provide up front keep the frustrations to a minimum for both parties. Seeking solace from your fellow sugars helps keep you going.

    Lisa – I know you’re against it, but you might want to seriously consider some sort of bankruptcy. It’s a lousy option, but with your income, you have limitations. The cost of bankruptcy is less than tons of court costs.

  489. Lisa says:

    Good morning, Well I have created profiles on sd sites, updated from time to time and had some success but none in over a year. I know what I want in an arrangment, I want to build a financial nest egg for a rainy day as well as help my widowed mom, and splurge on some things.

    I avoid sd headings like “looking for fun” “just checking things out” “not sure if this is the right site for me”

    I never initiate emails to sds though, just haven’t had any luck on that. I must admit though that I do take rejection personally and wonder sometimes what I am doing wrong as it must be my fault.
    I prefer lunch or dinner for first meets as coffee is ok but just too casual and match.com stuff.

    Anyone know how to dodge a credit card lawsuit? I haven’ t been served yet but received several letters from local attorneys yesterday informing me that target had sued me on the 8th. I believe that last payment I made on that card was feb 2007 which means the sol should be in affect but now that they filed in march, i’m worried that I might have paid them in march which I don’t remember doing. Anyway I have written them several letters in the past explaining my situation and they have dropped the threats but now they’ve file a suit. Thing is I have no property, no car, make 850 a month, and have 40 cents in the bank. Not sure what they can do to me.

  490. Dandelion Wine says:

    BTW, “Shiver on, idiot” was directed at the fake SD (and not at anyone on the blog), even though I realize he probably doesn’t read the blog. Or doesn’t read period.

  491. carebear says:

    Mixhael! I got home yesterday afternoon! You and I were battling who had the best blog updates. I have a feeling your adventure wins but we should exchange stories soon =)

    I wasn’t away long enough, not even a full 6 days =\

    18 hours on a plane with my family…..I don’t miss them at all right now, haha.

  492. Michael Alleycat says:

    Carebear where are you these days? Still on adventure? I got home v late last night, lots of blog to catch up on. Away too long …. missed my fam lots.

  493. carebear says:

    dw strikes again.

    I need a map or a globe or something.

  494. Mixhael Alleycat says:

    I mean third.

  495. Mixhael Alleycat says:

    Second!

  496. Dandelion Wine says:

    Ugh, French Riviera is St. Tropez, Nice, and Cannes, NOT Paris. Shiver on, idiot. lol

  497. Beach Girl says:

    I have had a lot of trouble with my profile, Not sure what to write. Same with first emails, I try and say what I like about the profile and keep it short and fun…
    The right moves? Well I think everyone is different, I am honest and myself. I keep the drama out. I had dishonesty a lot, we all know why we are here and what we are seeking, I don’t understand the games and bullcrap. I also tell them I think of this as more of a mistress/friends with benefits , I want the chemistry and the liberty to have my own life
    How are things?. Business is keeping me extra busy lately so I haven’t had much time for anything else, hopefully when I get my business off the ground, school done and over with and a vacation from my 2 jobs… lets hope that is soon!

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