7 years ago
What Does Your Sugar World Look Like?

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Lots of SeekingArrangement.com members  have sent us letters expressing their amazement at how sugar dating has changed their lives.

Here’s a blog interview with Courtney, a 24 year old sugar baby who was recently told by a journalist from The Times (UK) that she should write a book about her experiences in the Sugarworld:

What’s it like dating single Sugar Daddies? They’re more apt to want a relationship and more intimacy, their profiles usually talk about a relationship and intimacy. The single guys tend to get attached, not that the married ones don’t. One thing that men are stupid about is that they can misconstrue the impressions that their sugar baby is giving them.

What about married Sugar Daddies? Oh they usually just want to keep things discreet. The married one’s don’t want a little sugar baby in the bathroom saying ‘oh come and be with me and take me out to dinner’. The one who just left is married (referring to the US SD she’s visiting who left before the interview), that man would leave his wife tomorrow if I told him to. A lot of times when I see married men getting attached like that I just sort of drop them, because you know, they get confused. I don’t wanna be a home-wrecker, I just rather be a mistress, that’s more of a turn-on. When you’re with the married guy, you’re the other woman. You’re the one the married guy is thinking about when he’s in bed with his wife. If they leave their wives, it takes the fun out of it. I would rather be with a married SD than a single one.

Once this married SD and I were in bed and his wife called. She was wanting him to pick up some food from the Charlies on the way home. He got up and put his clothes on, and then he came over to the couch with me and started kissing me and saying he just wanted to stay with me, but then I said “your wife is waiting for you, you need to get back to her”. Then I walked him back to the bed with me and we played around again. That’s really bad of me, I know. I get a little pleasure out of being the mistress or whatever, I know it’s bad. He ended up staying for about 2 1/2 hours. She called about twice. I kinda like it when the wives call, the married ones, and you’re sitting their in your sexy outfit. It’s naughty, it’s controversial, and it makes people uncomfortable, and I like to make people uncomfortable – well, the narrow-minded people uncomfortable. If your husband’s coming to me as a mistress when he has a real girlfriend on the side, obviously you’re not doing it for him. They have all this bent up passion and they can’t wait to see you. Basically, they’re yours and you can do whatever you want with them.

What is it like dating Sugar Daddies in the UK? My opinion is that they don’t typically tend to go after British women. British women can be quite up-tight, they’re not as feisty, they’re not as opinionated as the women in the US. And a lot of British wives are so uptight. For UK guys, it’s not as important to be as chivalrous or kind like the guys in the US. It’s more accepted in the UK to have a mistress. They are so kinky you know, but it’s almost unemotional. In the US they wanna talk and cuddle, but in the UK they just wanna bite your thong and when they’re done with you they’re done, but here (in the US) it’s the complete opposite, they wanna cuddle and they wanna talk.

I tell my British friends they don’t understand how it is in the States, the men treat you with a lot more respect I think, but on another aspect you do have the super rich guys in the UK who want to fly you up to France or Spain, but they’re definitely not as attached, and they’re definitely kinky…” –Courtney

Have you noticed any differences between married and single sugars, such as their attitude, expectations, and length of the relationship?

What is your favorite ‘type’ of Sugar Daddy or Sugar Baby?

Leave a Reply

363 Responses to “What Does Your Sugar World Look Like?”

  1. Ruby says:

    Ahh! First date with pot SD tomorrow and I’m super nervous. I know I’m good at first impressions and I nearly always manage to keep conversations flowing and natural but…well…I think you can all understand the sugar jitters!

    The hardest thing is knowing what to do? He wants to meet around 5pm, I was thinking coffee as its first meet but thats a little late for just a coffee date isn’t it?
    Maybe?

    Any suggestions would be SO appreciated!
    Much love

  2. aspiring doc says:

    @ Dandelion wine: but yes I dont buy his story! Im over that saga anyway. NEXT :)

  3. aspiring doc says:

    @ Dandelion wine: I dont know he said 200k was his fall back salary- so i suspect it was more than that. Im not sure really. keep in mind 200k here is alot-my last sugar daddy earnt around 250k. our wages are alot lower than america but so is our cost of living.

  4. Anna Molly says:

    Ummmm, where did the other blog topic go?

  5. PamChurchill Jr says:

    NC Gent: Thecourtesanlife at g mail dot com

  6. Stormcat says:

    New thread ~ see ya on the flip side!

  7. Stormcat says:

    NYCSB ~ OMG you’ve forgotton! That was when me met in your 17th and my 43rd lifetimes. You’ve got to get your reincarnations in order or you’re going to lose it!!!

  8. NC Gent says:

    NYC SB – if it makes you feel any better, I had something similar happen to me, accept with an SB of course. The alcohol must have worn off from when she “drank me pretty.” I think it means they are probably having lots of sugar dates and don’t remember details very well… thank gawd for dim lighting and alcohol or I might never have an SB!

  9. NYC SB – Wow, that’s just beyond weird.. lol

  10. James.m says:

    I wrote to the owner of a profile for an SB which had an attractive photo — not a model, but certainly attractive and age appropriate. When she responded, she stated that the picture was not of her, and much of the profile material was not accurate (high school education, not college graduate, etc.). I wrote back, suggesting that her approach was highly misleading, she should be more honest in her profile, and I wasn’t interested in meeting or being involved with her. I received quite the rant about how rude I was to call her on it!
    How silly!

  11. WCSD says:

    NYC SB – Really? Yes that is very confusing. Unless he was meeting quite a few pots all at once, and didn’t remember which one you were….. But even then still very odd…

  12. NYC SB says:

    I never trust the pictures of pot SDs … This way I am rarely disappointed.

    I met a pot one time, we had an amazing time, he gave me a gift and we set up a date for the following week. At the second meet he looks at me and tells me I don’t look like the woman he met last week… Left me very confused…

  13. Bicentennial Baby says:

    @Stormcat,

    you are so right in your distinctions…I am very proud of my photos once I can trust I have the other persons’ info so I am willing to share (nothing with any pageant identification or involving my nonprofit job)…I use photos that I’m slightly prettier than so I’ve never once had an SD at a meet say he was disappointed! Maybe we don’t work out on frequency or using protection (think plastic sex boy…ugh), but looks are never an issue.

    I would think this would be utterly obvious in the sugarbowl, that to be a successful SB, you better be hot, at least a 7 or 8 out of 10. Just like to be a REAL SD, you better be rich…or at the minimum, financially generous. If you’re not there yet, do what I did, study, lose the weight, learn the game and THEN jump in. I used to weigh 128lbs but I knew that wouldn’t cut it for the level I want to get in rewards too. It’s all subjective (128 might look great on another girl, it just doesn’t on me personally).

  14. WCSD says:

    I’ve had a pot provide pictures that didn’t resemble her at all. I didn’t bother with the date and quickly ended it. Mainly I’m not interested in someone who is lying. If she is from a prominent family and can’t post her picture, fine….but she would have had many opportunities to tell me BEFORE we meet. I can then decide if I still want to meet, or not.

    I don’t think this is just a ‘sugar’ problem. I’m sure that ‘real’ dating sites have the same problem as well. I’m in the same boat as Mia, why give a fake picture when you are obviously going to be caught at this lie?

  15. Dandelion Wine says:

    A-doc, 200k is not that much. supporting 2 households probably *would* put him into a “paycheck to paycheck” situation.
    Also, I wouldn’t buy the story about him being a CEO (especially of a publically traded company) 200-ish is a VP scale

  16. Stormcat says:

    Well an interesting caveat is that when people are confident in, or comfortable with, their appearance, you can hardly keep them from giving you photos. They often even volenteer to send extra pics, or send them without you asking. While those who are ashamed are the opposite. Also, the only pots who have asked me if my pics are real are the ones who themselves have posted or provided cryptic, heavily cropped, edited or outright false photos. For me when someone asks if the pics or info in my profile is current, truthful, or accurate it is a red flag that something in their profile is not.

  17. FL-SD says:

    NY Gent: Yes, I have had a pot SB with fake photos. When I addressed the issue she replied that she was from a prominant family and couldn’t risk disclosure. While the pictures she used sorta kinda looked like her, they clearly weren’t her…
    I passed…. for multiple reasons…

  18. NC Gent says:

    Hi NYGent — one time I received pictures and the pot SB was about 50 pounds heavier and about 5 years older than the pictures she had provided. It was a lunch meet. I wasn’t going to confront her, but she was so whiny and annoying that I finally decided to confront her. When I did, she tried to put it back on me by saying, “I was hoping you wouldn’t be shallow.” I responded by saying that if she didn’t care about what I looked like, why did she ask for my pictures? I then went on to explain that even in non-sugar dating I choose people to whom I am physically attracted, and that most SDs place even more emphasis on looks in sugar dating. She huffed and suggested that she should be consider becoming a lesbian. I suggested that might be a good idea also, but that sexual orientation probably didn’t eliminate the fact that most people are INITIALLY attracted to potential partners based upon their looks. Lunch ended shortly thereafter. I am sure this type of event happens in both IRL and sugar dating.

  19. Anna Molly says:

    Okay, I really have to get going…talk soon :)

  20. Anna Molly says:

    Hi NYGent! Hmmm, that is a tough one. I have never had that happen, but, I would probably just let it go and not say anything. I don’t like confrontation and what is the point really, it isn’t going to help the situation.

  21. NYGent says:

    i once met a pot SB who had totally fake photos. She was not bad looking but clearly not the person in the photos in her profile which must have been some younger, model photo ripped off the internet (although it did not have the usual tell-tale signs and was skilfully done). Anyway I hate in-person confrontation so i basically grinned and bore it through the date and brushed her off when she contacted me again (without chastising her for fake photos, no real point at that point).

    Has anyone here ever confronted someone by saying, “Your photos are fake” ? How did they react? Did they try to deny?

  22. Anna Molly says:

    Hi Eric!! Good to see ya!!! I’m doing well, thank you :)

    How are you?

  23. NC Gent says:

    Most SBs I have met looked better than their photos. I have received unrepresentative photos from a few, but not many. Most people look better than their photos, as long as the photos haven’t been edited.

    Hi AM — good to see you posting again!

  24. Anna Molly says:

    Morning NC! Nice to hear your having some luck with the sugar :)

    Hope all is well!!

    • SD Guru says:

      @Mia Bella
      what’s a half hooker?

      It was a term first used in a NY Magazine article in April. Google “half hooker economy” and you’ll see several articles about it. For example:

      “New York magazine’s discovery of the week is “the half-hooker economy” — typified by the nebulous semi-pro status of many of Tiger Woods’ bevy of mistresses. The half-hooker is not technically a prostitute, but in the VIP world of nightclub bottle service, she is available for sex in exchange for gifts, financial help or in the case of a celebrity encounter, status.”

      Even though the article was originally about the VIP world of nightclub bottle service, the term has been used in the sugar world to refer to SB’s who offer themselves as hookers but don’t see themselves as such.

      Have a good weekend everyone!

  25. Mia Bella says:

    NC Gent – How conniving :( I wonder how that worked out…

    I have never met a pot SD who looked like his photos, lol. Some were still attractive, but the photos were obviously a bit old. Apparently a lot of pot SB’s do this too (send fake photos, misrepresent themselves) which I think is odd because the truth will come out when you meet..sounds like an embarrassing situation to put yourself in, if you ask me. Sorry I took over the last 50 blog comments, lol. Signing off and getting ready for class now!

  26. NC Gent says:

    I agree with you Mia Bella — it is awful what that SD is doing, but as you suggester there are plenty of examples of SBs scamming SDs. There was even a post this month on this blog where an SB was advocating “acting psycho” after she got money from an SD so she didn’t have to live up to her end of the deal. Lots of scammers on both sides of the deal, but probably none as boastful and crass as this guy.

  27. Mia Bella says:

    @5 Inch Heels – I found it on TexasSugar’s blog but thought it would be good to share it on here as well. Yeah it sucks, and I feel bad for all the girls he’s scammed, but I hear a lot of horror SB stories as well…lots of fakes on both sides.

    I am sure I’ll be snoozing through class today…

  28. 5 Inch Heels says:

    @Mia Bella, that is just horrible that they are men out there that do things like that. Take her to the bank and drive off….sounds like high school pranks. it’s disgusting and he shouldn’t even be labeled a SD. Thanks for sharing that.

  29. NC Gent says:

    Hi all! Almost the weekend wooohooo!
    Pam — I have had a couple of dates with a potential SB – looks like we are entering into a sugar relationship. I do have a friend that is looking. If you can provide me with your email address or Stephan can maybe give you mine.

  30. Anna Molly says:

    Good Morning everyone!!! :)

  31. Anna Molly says:

    Arctic ~ I am the sub and my naughty sister Molly is the dom. Be careful of her, Naughty Molly is looking to fill the empty cage in her, ummm, playroom 😉

    XOXOXO

  32. Mia Bella says:

    @Lily – at first I thought it was a girl who had sugar arrangements and was escorting on the side, like the SB, SD Guru wrote a series about on his blog. But I don’t think an SB should be called a “half hooker” for not being assertive enough or not having any experience… still, I agree the SB and SD both need to communicate their needs and wants before anything happens. Communications is important :)

    I’m on PST and it’s past 3AM here…eating Phineas and Ferb (Disney) fruit snacks. I’m so bored.

  33. Lily says:

    Mia Bella -prolly not. But a lack of being assertive can be a passive decision to settle for such a style of ‘sugar dating,’ because of laziness/impatience for finding a real SD & (getting tired of dead-ends with PJs which leave you in a position of just playing defense & walking away empty handed….) so they just Perhaps eventually buckle under the pressure & do what the men she’s seeing wants.

  34. pinky says:

    hi NewbiSB. Is your pot SD from British Columbia Canada??? He sounds awfully familiar.

  35. Mia Bella says:

    Okay gotcha so nobody ever tries to be a “half hooker”!

  36. PamChurchill Jr says:

    God I love this blog! It’s so informative and there seems to be a real kinship. <3 <3 I'm not sure if this is appropriate, but NCGent, do you have an SB or have any charming friends such as yourself in NC that are in search of an SB? I live in the triangle and would love to meet a few good men!

  37. Lily says:

    Semi-professional. Quasi-escort. You get the idea.
    Someone tried to use the distinction earlier that an SB waits passively for a little per-nookie-sugar to come after he’s gotten what he wants. (The hooker demands it up front).
    Thank goodness SBs *don’t* have to be doormats & have much better options than that. And thank goodness there are men who *don’t want* an escort and are willing to invest in a special lady beyond ‘the going rate’ for a single night w/ a gorgeous woman.

  38. Mia Bella says:

    All but one of the SD’s that were single that I’ve met have asked me to be their gf rather than an SB. They would text me all day long and wanted to meet at LEAST (their words) 3 x a week with some overnight visits. I prefer married SD’s. Discretion is needed for them too which is a plus!

    …watching Criminal Minds, going through all your guys’ blogs (hehe) and really wanting some Taco Bell… I soooooo don’t want to go to school tomorrow =(

  39. Mia Bella says:

    @SD Guru – what’s a half hooker?

  40. Mia Bella says:

    @Bicentennial Baby – I think he’s proud of it. He probably pats himself on his back afterwards… He’s bragging about he’s been doing it for 5+ years and unfortunately, will continue to. *Vomit* =X

    @Sunny Funny SB – You met him? You should out him out on TexasSugar’s blog lmao!

    The one time things went wrong was when I went to meet a pot SD even though I didn’t have a good feeling about it. Never again!

  41. aspiring doc says:

    but you havent told me why i should bother calling in on you :P?

    • SD Guru says:

      @NewbiSB
      he said the allowance would come through his company payroll. It may sound silly but is this even legal and is this a warning sign for a bad one (SD)?

      Ask yourself, (1) Is discretion important to you or him? If so, do you really want to leave a paper or electronic money trail? (2) How much personal info are you willing to provide? He will need a lot of personal info from you to put you on the payroll, and that’s a recipe for identity theft. Not to mention you should verify whether he’s legit and has a company that can put you on the payroll in the first place. I’d suggest that you should keep things simple by using cash allowance until you can establish trust.

      @Mia Bella
      Has anyone read through the “Fake Sugar Daddies Exposed” blog that someone linked? Here’s on of the comments that I think everyone should read:

      That post pointed out two things about the sugar world. (1) There are fake daddies with malicious intent who are out to take advantage of others. (2) There are “half-hookers” who allow themselves to be taken advantage of due to greed, or lack of knowledge and experience. Neither type belongs in the sugar world and it shouldn’t be difficult to avoid them through screening.

      @aspiring-doc

      Here’s what I wrote about your saga a week ago:

      “My hunch is that he is not who you thought he was. Perhaps he was hoping to charm his way into making you his girlfriend (ie free sex). But since you were still expecting the allowance, he had to come up with some pretty tall tales. I just don’t see a good ending to your saga, so cut your losses and run. Learn from it and don’t look back.”

      It’s an entertaining saga, but I stand by my words and the faster you move on the better off you will be.

  42. ARCTIC SD says:

    mmmmm….for all it is worth, something to consider. Very tempting indeed.

  43. aspiring doc says:

    haha if your willing to foot the bill… i run an expensive and exlusive practise.

  44. ARCTIC SD says:

    A-doc: I could not agree more. You make house call?

  45. ARCTIC SD says:

    NM – somehow i can always smell the lure of the dungeon from afar. Which one is the other twin…the dom or the sub?

  46. Naughty Molly says:

    Well, even naughty girls have to get their beauty rest…talk to everyone tomorrow…..XOXOXOXOXO

  47. aspiring doc says:

    lol nerve endings is soo true aswell and so much fun to wind men up with…

    I would like to think the what sugar he gets is fairly obvious. intelligence, conversation class and well…the obvious 😉

  48. Naughty Molly says:

    Either (a) You’ve been to my dungeon or (b) My good twin has been talking about me again….

  49. ARCTIC SD says:

    NM – does that include the whips and chains?

  50. ARCTIC SD says:

    A-doc: love the nerve ends….:):)

  51. Naughty Molly says:

    Me and spanking go together like bread and butter 😉

  52. ARCTIC SD says:

    A-doc:Perhaps I should not use “offer” but rather what kind of sugar a SD may get.

  53. aspiring doc says:

    Thanks Artic its updating. kept the girl next door vibe
    kept the education. scrapped the mother teresa award (albeit it being very true- i love india!)

    How about. ..adding to the education and specialisation> Neurology has served me well, I know where all your nerve endings lie 😉

    I used your line at the end- thanks :) I dont wana come across as cheap so im not sure how much to put about what i can offer!

  54. ARCTIC SD says:

    Nothing wrong with that one. Very appropriate on SA and eye catching as well. Sounds like you were looking for some spanking….:)

  55. Naughty Molly says:

    Hmmm, we could get pretty wild around here…lol

  56. Naughty Molly says:

    I always had a hard time coming up with a headline for my profile. I came up with some pretty awful ones before I settled on one that was….well, okay, but not the most creative.

  57. ARCTIC SD says:

    A newbie since Aug and just started swimming in the sugar bowl with my first SB. Had been a lurker in the blog when i first join.

  58. Naughty Molly says:

    Unfortunately I haven’t had a whole lot of time to really read the blog. I was a regular for a long time and I’m hoping to get back to my normal posting routine. I have seen you around, but, never caught where you were actually from :)

    Nice to meet you as well! 😀

  59. ARCTIC SD says:

    NM- i have been posting for the last one month. Guess you miss them. nice to know you.

  60. ARCTIC SD says:

    NM-maple leaf country

  61. Naughty Molly says:

    There are a lot of new faces around here now! It will be nice to get to know all of you :)

  62. Naughty Molly says:

    Arctic SD….Where are you from? I’m curious….

  63. ARCTIC SD says:

    A-doc- just for yr consideration, how about “wanna play doctor with me” for the summary in lieu?

  64. Naughty Molly says:

    Wish I could check out pics and profiles…..I don’t have a profile anymore.

  65. ARCTIC SD says:

    A-doc:Great pic but MHO, toss the volunteer part unless you are running for the Mother Teresa award. With the catchy pic I would follow up with what you could offer a SD that could churn his imagination to run a liitle wild.

  66. @Michael Alleycat lol.. I killed the blogs and oh my how I love handcuffs but just for play..(laughing hysterically).. I posted and the blog died so I will go to bed so it doesn’t happen again.

    Meet tomorrow night so will not be on.. hope everyone has a sugar filled weekend..Smiles.

  67. aspiring doc says:

    Hes either telling the truth of full of BS. the thing is i want him to be telling the truth because hes quite charming. or is the charm part of the disguise- i know, i know- i should move on.
    Finding a decent sd in nz is like a needle in a haystack. If anyone feels like lookin at my profile and telling me if i need to change something, thatd be helpful~! 😀 xxx

  68. Naughty Molly says:

    A-Doc ~ Do what you know is right and stick to your guns. Don’t let this guy try to manipulate you. You don’t know how long it will take for this lawsuit to be resolved so I would start looking (this of cours is MHO). I’ve been out of the loop for so long and don’t know the whole story and I’m too lazy to go back and read, but, from what I’ve gathered from your post I feel that you should start looking again. However, don’t burn any bridges….good luck :)

    Hope that made sense…I’m super tired and I still have work to do…sigh. Oh, I also want to apologize for any typos. As I said, I’m tired and I really do need some glasses :)
    At least with the glasses I could pull off the hot teacher look 😉

  69. aspiring doc says:

    Hey ALL

    Oh the saga- mr.pay me in antiques rung me last night and apologised. Tried to explain the money situation- I still dont get it- He said he is ver very sorry and will have the money to me asap.
    I told him I was really skeptical (however now that im not willing to see him you would think he would give up calling?- he got free sex (as someone called it!)).

    I told him to call me when he got his situation sorted and could afford me. He said all he needed to do was wait for the lawsuit to sort itself out. (hmmmm). Then he goes on to say that he understands if i look elsewhere but really wants me for himself. (is this a guilt trip?).
    I said: its no strings – come up with the money but meanwhile im not going to be sitting here waiting. He said: he knows its no strings and cant stop me but really feels sick at the thought of me being with anyone but him. HELLO NO STRINGS!! Im not going to be his girfriend- he cant even get 1500 together for half the month- and its more about his word than anything else.
    Im not closed off to realationships- but his finances suck- how can someone just spend all thier money? ! he has two houses and apparently earnt over 200,000 a year

  70. Naughty Molly says:

    Did someone say handcuffs?!?

  71. Michael Alleycat says:

    Alright, who killed the blog? Come on. own up. BiBaby – was it you? Did you drop one of your shopping bags on the blog? Carebear – you’ve been a bit boisterous lately. Did you just get carried away? Lily – did you feed it too much schnapps? Cleo – mYbe you made the blog do too much Pilates? NYC SB – did you step on it in your new heels? Or was that 5 Inch Heels who did it.

    Hmmmmm ….. we’ll have to think long and hard, look wide, go deep, and use the handcuffs on the culprit.

  72. @Bicentennial Baby & Newbie SB
    Bicent wrote: “See your question raises two big issues to my financial mind: 1.) if he cuts you checks, you have to go get them cashed and if you’re TRULY on the payroll, in most places you are on the records and can get zapped for taxes. I don’t like the government in my business so I would be hesitant to take anything OTHER than cash or gifts. 2.) if he does EFT (funds transfer), you can have your bank account cleaned out by a scammer. I think Sunny posted a link where they list fake SD’s and one did this scam where he took the info and cleared the account rather than dumped money into it!”

    Here Here! Well put Bicentennial and very important. Newbie I am an artist and was actually put on the payroll to supply art pieces to a former SD for his office building.. I was paid far greater then what I would have gotten at this stage, and I had to be so careful as it put me in the category of subcontractor in a way.. no taxes taken out, nothing paid into S.S. so I had to open an account to keep back for taxes at the end of the year. What I did not realize was that by doing this.. I ended up with far less in the long run.. both for my art and compensation for my sugar time.. I ended up in a new tax bracket which hit me hard that year.

    I also have trusted an SD from the beginning of the arrangement and he went Poof with my funds so be very careful until you develop a trust and know that he is honest. The same goes with SD’s who are helping SB’s.. one needs to be cautious as there is good and bad in everything.. and it takes time to develop trust. On traveling make sure if you are going overseas that you never give your passport to a Pot to hold and if you have already entered an arrangement with him.. he should make sure you have money on you when you are traveling overseas.. as you never know what may happen. Just use common sense and watch for those little red flags.. make sure the ticket is round trip.. Good Luck

  73. @ Mia Bella I even recognized an ID on a different sugar website and was so surprised to discover I actually had a meeting with him but quickly passed on him and so grateful that I did. I love the post that you copied and pasted here at it exposes how fake some can be… and why we need to hone up our screening skills and network to protect each other. I stumbled on that a few days ago and had put a link to it on my blog.. there are a few others I have discovered now and will be adding those links as well. Forewarned is forearmed… I wonder if there is this same thing out there for SD’s to check on a SB?

  74. 5 Inch Heels says:

    Hello everyone. I have been on SA on and off or about 6 months now. I haven’t met anyone off here yet that lead to anything but I have had a SB/SD relationship that was very fulfilling. Great to read some on your stories. I was’t aware of this blog but now that I am I will back to read more. Hope everyone is having a great week.

  75. Bicentennial Baby says:

    @Mia Bella,

    Glad you posted that! I was horrified beyond words with what I read but you know, I am very grateful TexasSugar left that post there, it’s insightful to know what lengths people will go to in order to get what they want but clearly do not deserve.

    Using over 200 ladies for free oral or other sex is just deplorable, how does this man sleep at night? I have no issue with a man who pays or “benefits” 200 women for sex…or even perhaps dates them so long as he is kind and honorable and upfront about what a horndog he is (then the buyer beware…) but to LIE?? Hell has a special place for him and I imagine they won’t be using plastic for his behalf…

  76. Lily says:

    They usually just want casual sex & don’t get anything out of a recurring relationship which includes providing materially for a lady’s needs.

    They aren’t generous, only horny.

  77. Mia Bella says:

    Lily – What happens after you find out they’re in denial? Do they want a girlfriend (free sex as someone else called it, lol)?

  78. Lily says:

    What I worry about or hate more than that is the guys who aren’t even honest with themselves about what game they’re playing.

    They’re much more convincing when they believe the garbage themselves.

  79. Mia Bella says:

    Has anyone read through the “Fake Sugar Daddies Exposed” blog that someone linked? Here’s on of the comments that I think everyone should read:

    This is hilarious. Seriously, all you have to do is wait for your 30 day membership to expire and then re-join the site under a new SN. I’ve been bamboozling “half hookers” for 5-6+ years! Over 200+ women have either performed oral on me or given me ALL the goods for a few bucks or FREE. Do I have the financial means to assist a half hooker? Of course I do… but why spend it on them when I can spend it on myself! lol You drive up in a S550 Benz (leased of course), dressed well, and my closing rate for action (sex) is well over 95% (in the car for oral or at a cheap motel). I’ve scammed hookers with promises of adding you to my company payroll, gift cards (my fave with 0-$10 on them, Nordstroms, Bloomingdales), or “follow me to the bank”.. VROOM, drive off. lol The funny thing is, 99.99999% of these “aspiring actresses/models”, receptionists, hair stylists, assistants, etc., are so f’ing dumb and desperate, they’ll fall for it. I know the responses, “You’re a loser, you’re pathetic…” REALLY? What about the desperate hookers who drive to ME and perform sexual acts thinking they’re going to get paid?? That’s NOT pathetic? These “women” are whores… treat them like whores, get what you want, then move on to the next hooker. It’s the cheapest form of “prostitution”. Dangle the money infront of them and they’ll do everything/anything you want. There’s an ENDLESS supply of uneducated, unskilled hookers in Southern California! haha.

    OMG. Always trust your gut (I learned the hard way)! And I’m SO glad I don’t live near him….

  80. Lily says:

    Cleo – love the thumbnail pic!
    BiBaby – helllllo??!!! Plastic is where it’s at. What a loser. Hope your new SD pans out for a nice, long time….
    NYC SB – I cannot wait for a live goss’ session! Especially about our mutual admirer!

    muse – where are you? are you doing the SA party?

  81. Bicentennial Baby says:

    @NewbieSB,

    I personally would be a little wary…does this gentleman have the wherewithall to determine who is hired with this company he supposedly is going to put you on the payroll of?

    See your question raises two big issues to my financial mind: 1.) if he cuts you checks, you have to go get them cashed and if you’re TRULY on the payroll, in most places you are on the records and can get zapped for taxes. I don’t like the government in my business so I would be hesitant to take anything OTHER than cash or gifts. 2.) if he does EFT (funds transfer), you can have your bank account cleaned out by a scammer. I think Sunny posted a link where they list fake SD’s and one did this scam where he took the info and cleared the account rather than dumped money into it!

    In either case, he could “hit it” and poof before you can confirm the check is good or if the funds are even in your account. Even if the funds are in your account, they can reverse your posting with the exact same info.

    Travel should always be covered by the SD, but beware of those who think that is ALL they have to provide for an arrangement…I have recently found a few SD wannabes who think paying for a hotel room/airline, etc entitles them to no strings sex. Anyone with that mentality is not above giving you a bad check or reversing an account post.

    Plus I would be wary of someone who is in essence, committing fraud with the company by putting you on the payroll. You could get in serious trouble if caught as an accomplice esp if you’re not doing any work whatsoever for the company (which is different than the work you’re doing for the CEO, if you get my drift!)

  82. NewbiSB says:

    Hi all,

    I hope all is well with everyone :) I’m fairly new at this and been reading the blog for all the great advice and tips. It’s really been truely insightful.

    I have looked through for info regarding my query to no avail sadly so thought I’d ask out here if you could be so kind to give me a heads up.

    I’ve spoken to a pot SD and all seems good so far. We’ve spoken for around a month on the phone/email. He’s been open about being married and his situation. Thing I’m not too sure is in the arrangement, if we’re both happy after meeting, he said the allowance would come through his company payroll. It may sound silly but is this even legal and is this a warning sign for a bad one (SD)?

    He’s flying me to him in Canada from the UK which I’ll ask him to get non refundable hotel and flights, and he’ll pay for but should I still be worried if he can pay for flights/ hotel? He’s flying here next week for his own personal reasons and our first meet is likely to be then but I got worried when thinking more of being given allowance on company payroll and maybe I’m overlooking a big warning sign?

    I’ve not read much regarding allowances via payroll so very unsure. I get a good vibe generally from him. I just wanted to make sure the arrangement sounds ok to you guys or am I making a huge oversight. I just don’t wanna be stung on something that could be avoided.

    Sorry for the essay! I hope I made sense and to hear from you guys soon :) Hope all have a fab day.

    xx

  83. Bicentennial Baby says:

    @SDGuru,

    See, I am still learning, every day even seems to be an exponential amount of knowledge coming my way…from each meet and how it goes, to what to wear, to what situations to put myself in (or not), and clarifying what I want out of an arrangement.

    I do have a new SD in that we have agreed on arrangement after several meetings and now we are just awaiting which weekend he can start our fun times together which is dependent on family scheduling this week. I would hope its not counting chickens before they hatch, we had the conversation, email daily, etc and he sent followup that he’s really looking forward to our time away together (i.e. overnight) so no indication that he would poof. He’s the sort of person I imagine would be honest if there was no chemistry and has been in arrangements before, which was why the direct approach actually worked in this case.

    To answer your question, 2, two daddies is more than enough. Since the availability for the other person is only 2-3x a month, that leaves what I believe to be enough time for another SD 2-3x a month and have plenty of time and energy to treat them both like kings. 😉

    My allowance requirements are not exceedingly high and I broached the subject of exclusivity with the 1st SD and he did not have any problems if I see another one as long as it doesn’t cause me to cancel/take away from time we’ve already agreed to. Absolutely! that would be unfair of me to use one to finance the other and I won’t do that. I of course haven’t asked him about other SB’s which I suspect he has, again, it’s his business not mine. As long as I’m being treated fairly and well I have no problems with what an SD does in his time away from me. That’s the beauty of an arrangement.

  84. cleo says:

    who else wants just one day of nyc sb’s life?
    .
    aspiring doc have you had any luck clothes shopping online?

    the next time someone tells you to eat more tell her you have a friend who is 5’11 (180cm) with a bmi SMACK in the middle of the healthy range (22) who wears an xs or a 7. and then tell her that she might like to keep her judgements to herself

  85. VillaCypris says:

    lol NYC SB
    thanks for clearing that up! xx

    • SD Guru says:

      @Bicentennial Baby
      I’ve got a real SD now and the bad ones make you appreciate the good ones that come along.

      Since you already have one SD and are actively meeting pots, how many SD’s do yo think is ideal in your case? I’m not passing judgment on what you do, just wondering what your thoughts are.

      …just wanted someone who he could call and in 30 min or so she could be there… I just can’t be “on call…”

      When a SD wants a SB to be at his beck and call, I’m not sure that’s a good situation to be in no matter how much allowance he’s willing to offer.

      I really liked him but learned afterwards he was 74 NOT 61 as claimed!

      Did he contact you or did you contact him first? Have you thought about meeting pots within a certain age range, say 50-60 for example, and knowing that some SD’s (and SB’s too) may turn out to be much older than their profile?

      just this morning had an old one that we couldn’t get schedules to ever match, invite me to an NFL game he’s going to in FL! I’m a huge football fan so that’s a go!

      When I first saw this I was going to caution you about traveling for a first meet, and not getting too excited until you find out what the “fine print” is. When you make yourself available in the sugar world you’ll be in situations that you haven’t faced before and make decisions that you haven’t made before. Your experience will largely depend on the decisions you make, so choose wisely, as you seem to have done in your subsequent posts.

      @Sunny Funny SB

      You’re welcome, and good luck with your pot meet this weekend! Your approach to screening is a good example of how much can be accomplished prior to a meet to save you from potential problems later. Although no amount of screening can guarantee success, you will improve the odds of having a good experience by doing the work upfront.

      @Ms Taken
      YIKES…that is not me pretending to be SD Guru

      You mean there is another guru?? :)

  86. NYC SB says:

    99 roses have something to do with it … My attempt at being ghetto so I titled the pic “mad flowers”

    The random shoe shopping spree offer was another

    Double yoga

    Zeppoles

    Nfl sunday and monday

    Brunch and massages on saturdayt

    Ahhhh… Love my men :)

  87. aspiring doc says:

    @ cleo: Im not sure. alot of shops here stop at an 8. my waist size is a six. sixes are stocked by ‘teenage’ shops aimed at 15-18yearolds. There are a few asian stores that go that small but im not keen on the clothes.

    I had a ball in singapore when i went there because theyre average ‘free size’ fits me perfectly.

    I saw a beautiful dress the other day in ‘principals’ a higher end dress shop and asked for a six only to be glared at and i quote you not, she told me to “eat more”.!!! how rude!!!! i eat like a horse— i kid you not- i just burn it off super fast because of uni stress, gym etc. i have a few friends with the same issue. Teenage shops look too young and the high end dress shops cater for woman 8-14 usually. Im not sure about the logic! I guess its to do with not promoting super skinny woman– but im healthy for my frame.

  88. VillaCypris says:

    ha. look at her facebook, monday 9:59pm post… “mad flowers”… :)

  89. cleo says:

    what the heck is a mad flower?

  90. VillaCypris says:

    NYC SB – do the “mad flowers” have anything to do with your great week? 😉

  91. VillaCypris says:

    good evening all –

    StormCat — very much liked your post…. that’s why “they say”….

    Don’t carry a grudge. While you’re carrying the grudge, the other guy’s out dancing.
    – – -Buddy Hackett

  92. Champagne4Breakfast says:

    @Bicentennial Baby that is too funny. Interesting what some pots consider “spoiling”, isn’t it?

    Unfortunately, there are far too many SD’s on these sites that feel entitled to unprotected sex and in my book that just aint gonna happen!

    As for the blog, I actually did log in initially to post my opinion. Hi all, I have had several sugar relationships and I have not found a huge difference between married and single SD’s. The single SD’s, in my experience, have wanted to eventually transition into a more traditional relationship. I don’t have the time or desire to commit to a traditional relationship, so I assumed a married SD would provide more freedom.

    However, when I started seeing a married SD expecting more of a casual NSA situation (as we discussed), it hasn’t happened. To my great disappointment, I find that he has tried to be overly involved in my life – which doesn’t actually suit my fancy. Some men just have a controlling, or clingy personality.

  93. Midwest SB says:

    BiBaby – Aren’t those difficult conversations worth getting out of the way? Awesome job addressing your needs and being willing to walk away. He doesn’t deserve you!

    Bela – Get in touch please! You’re a train ride away from Chicago. There are a few places to go in Lake County and you just might talk me into visiting if the time frees up!

    Stephan – Would you please give Bela my e-mail address? Thanks handsome!

    New SBs – Welcome! These last few blogs have been chock full of info that you will find priceless IF and only IF you USE IT WISELY!!! I’m not yelling at you. I am trying to impress that it’s a lot easier to learn from the mistakes we have made along the way.

    What to wear to lunch? What makes you feel great, shows off one asset and is appropriate for the setting. Don’t forget to dab on a little confidence! I know it’s vague, but you’re smart!

    I’m tired from an amazing time in Atlanta, so I will spend more time another night.

    *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*sugar dust*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  94. Bicentennial Baby says:

    @carebear,

    I desperately want to go to the SA party, but can’t afford the hotel on top of the airfare. I could split a room with a sugar sister though (or two) if anyone is interested? I really would like to attend.

    if any of my sugar fam sisters are seriously interested in sharing room costs and are certain they’re going to the party, can you gals email me at bicentennialsugarbaby at the yahoo dot com?

    It really COULD be a lot of fun, almost like a pajama party like we had in sorority back in college…ah I miss those days!! We could swap horror stories and tips. Not having any sugarbaby friends locally, you guys are my only sisters “in the know”, so it would be fun beyond belief if I could actually go to this party (and doubly great if one or ALL of us find great arrangements to boot!)

    Too bad Brandon couldn’t sponsor some “new SB scholarships” to this SA party….I’d apply and my GPA is at least 4.0! maybe if I sent him a picture? *LOL* :)

  95. cleo says:

    Ms Taken I didn’t nix it i just didn’t want it to be first. so i put it pack up but fourth along with the hat one which is now fifth. i thought you could just click ‘change thumbnail’ and the first pic would change but it didn’t

    my bikini photo being first is kinda… not exactly the message i want to send…

  96. @ Carebear: Your are quite welcome.. my understanding is that the face book list is much more complete but have to send an add me first.. so waiting on this. It is just nice to know that there is someone place we can look.. I wonder if there are other sites like that out there?

  97. carebear says:

    Thanks Sunny Funny for posting that blog, I recognize a lot of the names. I have a pretty good intuitive sense that has kept me from wasting hardly any time on fakes and weirdos. I do have a few bad eggs in the basket though, as I’m sure we all do.

    Should be a sugary weekend with SD in town…and SB friend #2 coming in! yay for sugar sister meets! So refreshing to meet all you fabulous ladies in our crazy crazy world….

    Anyone else decide if they’re going to the SA party in oct?

  98. Ms. Taken says:

    @NYC SB ~Good for you! What’s not to love about a fabulous week – my favorite kind, btw 😉

    @cleo~I see you changed the order of your photos. Incidentally, I like this new line up, care to say why you nixed the bikini photo?

  99. emmanuelle says:

    What would you wear on a lunch date with a SD? SD’s what would you expect from a SB?

  100. Bicentennial Baby says:

    @Ms Taken,

    Only that I was fine if the meet was just going for dinner, overnight, then the game the next day. this pot made it crystal clear he had no plans on going shopping or anywhere retail whatsoever during our “limited time schedule”.

    Prorata just means half the monthly allowance up front at time of in person meet so that if it doesn’t work out, I’ve at least gotten something for my time and they aren’t out the whole month up front. It’s a good-faith gesture.

  101. Ms. Taken says:

    @Bicentennial Baby ~Good for you and good riddance to him – the twerp. Better to know who he truly are sooner rather than later. Still, why can’t they just slither off from whence they came without the vitriolic parting? SMH

    Oh, what did you mean by this, “I did not anticipate shopping and was willing to pro-rata allowance for the 1st meet in case either party didn’t want to continue.” I totally missed it. 8)

  102. cleo says:

    nyc sb: i totally hear that and am really glad for you. my sugar is still splenda but my life is turning up roses :)

  103. Bela says:

    @NYC SB – Awesome to hear!!! Never stop smiling 😉

  104. NYC SB says:

    Hi sugars… NYC SB is having a fabulous week :)

  105. @Cleo Thank You for the compliment.

    @Bicentennial Baby Pot said “If an airline ticket, expensive meal, nice hotel stay, AND sideline game tickets is not enough for “plastic sex” then I am not interested””

    You are a wise woman.. you know what you want and do not want. There are different types of sugar daddies out there: gifting daddies, allowance daddies, travel daddies and a combination of those. I do not consider a P4P a true Daddy unless it is part of the arrangement and always meets the allowance that is sought. In my experience a strictly Travel Daddy that does not give an allowance and wants the SB to travel to where ever at his whim views it like a free vacation for the SB but does not consider if she needs to take time off from work or school and what this might cost her. I always chalk that type up to how considerate he would be in an arrangement and just pass. So nice you learned this quickly and I prescribe to the theory of safety first.

  106. Bela says:

    LOL @ BiBaby… wow. I’m still trying to get over the whole “plastic sex” comment

  107. I stumbled across a blog which allows people to post fakes along with details in its comments section and I believe there is also one of fb as well. I posted the link on my blog just click on my name if you want the link.. I was not sure that it could be posted in the blogs here and did not want to break the rules. I do think it is a good place to look if one has suspicions to see if the person they are talking to is fake.. but just keep in my mind there is no verification process to determine if everything being reported is true.

  108. Bicentennial Baby says:

    I rarely do this but I just took some advice from a sugar sister to clear the air on expectations via email (which as the gang knows I’ve done before, sometimes with luck, sometimes without!) and this was after several phone conversations. I did not anticipate shopping and was willing to pro-rata allowance for the 1st meet in case either party didn’t want to continue. This was my reply with names removed to protect the not-so-innocent:

    “”I am going to pass and I am sorry to waste your time. You appear to be professional at this and I am just looking for a house wife who likes to f–k and be spoiled. If an airline ticket, expensive meal, nice hotel stay, AND sideline game tickets is not enough for “plastic sex” then I am not interested””

    Wow, can you believe that ladies and gents? I am sooooo above the housewife level in looks and class as a former swimsuit model that it’s not funny. Clearly when you click on a profile and see the photos, you can tell who is a REAL SB. who is an escort and who is just there to get some excitement or p4p in their life. I am so not into being a “camp follower” at a guy’s travel events, happy just to eat a meal too and bask in his amazing lifestyle only to go home with nothing in my handbag and no gifts in my hand. WTF?

    Also plastic sex is the only safe sex until you have paperwork in hand. As I mentioned in my reply, if you meet on an “adult dating site” on the internet, it’s obvious the parties are sexually promiscuous and to think otherwise is just plain sheer DENIAL of the reality you are both in. he mentioned once he’s only been with his wife and one other SB. Right, and I’ve only had sex with my husband on Christmas and Easter. Whatever.

    Listen up guys: I take HUGE issue with married SD’s who don’t take precautions for at least their WIVES’ sake!!! I’m fine with him being willing to take a risk but when you involve innocent parties along for the ride, you commit an unforgiveable sin far worse than adultery in my book.

    Of course I sent him to Ashleymadison, that’s where you can find bored horny housewives I hear who are thrilled to go to a nice hotel and get a great meal for some on the side sex.

    well it was only a few hours wasted at least and not a weekend. Back to your regularly scheduled programming…

  109. cleo says:

    sunny funny sb said: “I may not be able to control what happens but as Guru said I can control how I handle the situation. I have chosen to be true to myself in these circumstances and try to the best of my ability to handle things with dignity and grace. The end result is that I do not hold a grudge or let it affect my goals and have stayed true to my self.”

    which is just what i was trying to say.

    if *I* decide to sleep with a pot on the first date, or let him drive me to my home, or let him treat me disrespectfully (never happen) or tell him my real name or ANY decision that we here on the blog would shake our heads at *I* own that decision.

    if he doesn’t call or i get in trouble because he’s a stalker or i find my name on a billboard *I* made that choice to take that risk and *I* own it. i can’t blame a man for my own choices, i can only blame myself for my reactions to his actions.

    anyway, well put miss :)
    .
    Ms. Taken: thanks milady, i thought when you ‘set thumbnail’ it changed that to the first photo but no. so i rearranged my photos :)

  110. FL-SD says:

    Stormcat: I read your post from the 21st with interest,
    There’s a lot in those lines…
    I think anytime we are disappointed in an outcome with a pot and we sense that there’s been some negative reaction from the date not working out,
    we start to question what’s going on.
    I don’t think that’s a bad thing…
    I think it’s useful to occasionally examine our actions and our motivations to make sure we’re good with ourselves.
    Personally I think that listening to that “little voice in our head” is a good thing.
    For me, it causes me to re-examine my approach to the situation and ensure that I did everything I could to uphold my end of the deal…
    Was I a gentleman?, Did I clearly communicate expectations in advance, Did I keep my word ?, Did I leave the other person better than I when met them ?
    If the answer is yes to all of those, then it’s easier to let go of the situation.
    I may still regret the misunderstanding, but I can look inside and say that I did my part…

  111. @ SD Guru: My second set of questions is more intense but I am quickly learning that they are necessary to weed out the infestation of weeds and much of course I have learned from you.. through you sharing your experiences so I thank you. I should have it up either tonight or in the morning. I am looking forward to this meeting this weekend I must say as this Pot has checked out completely. I also want to say that live chat or skype has become my new tool.. you get to see each other in advance in real time which has given me the opportunity to observe body language as we are talking, look for clues in the Pot’s surroundings that the camera is catching. I also am looking forward to reading your goodbye lover finish..smiles and thanks for all your wisdom Guru, you are truly a gem.

    @ IRLSD: I have hidden my profile and the first time deleted it when I was in an arrangement as a courtesy and a show of good faith to the SD as we had agreed on monogamy during our arrangement. It is all up to what you two feel comfortable with but a sign of good faith for sure.

    @Bicentennial Baby & Brand New SB :

    Bicentennial bring up a good point about what is 5 star.. and I am sure will also agree that this is a clue or sign as to what he perceives is top of the line. When red flags start flashing we need to pay attention to those clues that give us insight into the person. Pot SD/SB both can spin tales about who they are and some have even set up dummy corporation sites that show themselves as the CEO, but a quick trip to the Chamber of Commerce Website for their location can often dispel any doubts. Hang in there Brand New but ask yourself a few questions in the process, know what motivates you to seek a sugar arrangement, what your limitations are, and most definitely do not settle.. find the one that you have a mutual connection with and chemistry. Good Luck and if you need some ideas of what to ask as you screen check out my blog.. it may help you but in the end you will find your way.

    @ all

    Most of us have had those moments in our search where things do not pan out the way we expect… I may not be able to control what happens but as Guru said I can control how I handle the situation. I have chosen to be true to myself in these circumstances and try to the best of my ability to handle things with dignity and grace. The end result is that I do not hold a grudge or let it affect my goals and have stayed true to my self. It is so easy to get jaded in the sugar world .. and often it is harder to find the right SD/SB for ourselves then it is IRL relationships but when you find it..oh it can be so sweet. 😉 Hope every one has a sugar coated day.

  112. Ms. Taken says:

    YIKES…that is not me pretending to be SD Guru. Thought better of making another long post (you can thank me later, guys) 😉 and forgot to hit delete.

  113. Ms. Taken says:

    Welcome to the community, Kat. You say “my sugar daddy wants to meet this Friday”, do you mean potential SD. I find that if you keep the “labels” clear you will be in a better position to attach the appropriate expectations and responses to each situation.

    Example, the expectation for a potSD meet is very different from a meet with your SD. SD Guru’s post from last evening list some expectations for a first meetYou should probably invest the time to go through this and previous blog topics for tips/help with this meet. Of course, we’ll be glad to give our advice/opinion on any specific questions you still have.

    Again, welcome and good luck on your search.!

    SDGuru

  114. Ms. Taken says:

    @cleo~In response to your question, earlier. The bikini pix does show first; then the one with the hat; then the one for the shampoo/conditioner commercial (my favorite, btw); then the one with blurred movement (your joie de vivre is in full force); then the one in the multi-coloured blouse (under scaffolding?lol).

    All beautiful (and smokin’) btw.

  115. Kat says:

    Hi, very random, but I am new to this and my sugar daddy wants to meet this Friday. It will be my first time ever doing this. I am very nervous and scared as well. Any tips/help?

  116. Bicentennial Baby says:

    @Darnell and all,

    The Ritz-Carlton pot was ironically the closest *intellectual* match I’ve met, he was very cerebral, fascinating stories about travel, etc. We did start an arrangement and it ended after one further meet, so to speak. We had agreed to allowance split up into biweekly meets, so I did not feel any upset, I was fairly taken care of and he kept his word. I wish him well.

    I’ve since met a much better pot whom I will be seeing in another week and I just this morning had an old one that we couldn’t get schedules to ever match, invite me to an NFL game he’s going to in FL! I’m a huge football fan so that’s a go!

    So it pays to be polite and kind when things don’t line up…apparently the other lady didn’t’ work out for him and he thought about it and wants us to try to see if it can. I’m not slighted, I’ve been interviewing other pots all along and I’m still interested too so we have a travel date in a few weeks as well. I’m learning “not right now” is not necessarily “no” with these gentlemen.

    Ritz-Carlton just wanted someone who he could call and in 30 min or so she could be there. I just wasn’t that local being a little over an hour away and I do have to work with kid schedules on weekdays as well as 2 days a week at the nonprofit. I just can’t be “on call”….but he needed that because apparently when you’re on Viagara and that old, time is of the essence.

    I really liked him but learned afterwards he was 74 NOT 61 as claimed! I may hold the record for SB (if only for a week or two) to the oldest SD out of all of us I fear…

    He was a super cute 74 though…like Hugh Hefner. Guess that makes me Holly! ;p

  117. Bela says:

    *Michael – That’s what we found out after doing some very light investigating in this lie that we’ve been fed :)

    I’m not much of a beer drinker, but I do like wine. I wasn’t very big on Yellowtail, but I like WoopWoop when I get access to it. Living in Kentucky has it’s limits 😉

  118. @Bela – NOBODY drinks Fosters in Australia, it’s just not that great a beer. Too sweet, too hoppy. Now XXXX – THAT’S a beer. Vic Bitter, Swan etc, all great, but you cannot buy them here. The company that owns them has invested too much in building the Fosters brand, they do not want to dilute the brand equity that they have developed by introducing other beers from Oz.

    So they have focused on importing Australian wines. Yellowtail is a great example – started out ok, but is now regarded as a junk wine, especially the Chardonnay. I remember one review of Yellowtail Chardonnay described it as being “reminiscent of pineapple juice”. Yuk. There are still some great Oz wines here though. I kill (quite happily too) for an older Grange.

    BTW, the Fosters that you buy in the US is not brewed in Australia. It is brewed in Canada so it is still technically an imported beer. It’s all in the marketing…..

  119. Bela says:

    LOL @ SD GURU & Michael: That reminds me of the first time I was in Sydney with my friends. We went to a place in Surrey Hills and the guys asked for Fosters but the server laughed and said they don’t serve it. Talk about a culture shock!!

  120. Green Eyed Sugar Lady says:

    @ Michael Does this mean a “bloomin’ onion” is not the national vegetable of Australia? What a disappointment! :)

    Seriously, I’d rather meet for coffee or a drink for the first time, rather than a dinner anywhere. But if he suggests meeting for dinner and the mutual interest seems strong, I won’t say no to it. I’ve never had one of those pots take me to a chain restaurant; in my experience if he suggests dinner it’s going to be someplace nice. I’ve only had one dinner that was uncomfortable (the guy whose real-life personality did not match up with his emails at all, and at the end of the evening got up and left the restaurant without so much as a goodbye or nice to have met you.)

    I did have an uncomfortable lunch several years ago….but it was also kind of funny. I was corresponding with a pot, he sent me a link to his business that included a group photo and I remember thinking that from a distance he kind of looked like my dad. When we met for lunch, I realized he didn’t just kind of look like my dad, he could have been his twin. My dad is actually very handsome, but, you know, he’s my dad. I couldn’t sit across from a table with someone who looked just like him and ponder a sexual relationship, I couldn’t even flirt. We had a nice conversation nonetheless, but he did politely say at the end of the lunch that he wasn’t sensing a connection…. he was correct, but I didn’t tell him why. That would have been rude, even if it was actually quite a compliment in some ways.

    I had my first day of classes yesterday, my SD came over in the evening with some wine and snacks, and we enjoyed a very pleasant evening in. Things are going very well, we have an amazing connection and he doesn’t look like my dad. :)

  121. cleo says:

    can someone tell me what photo they see first when they click my profile? i chose one but it’s not the one i see… don’t really want my bikini shot first but that’s what it seems like it is

    thanks!

  122. Lily says:

    Life here is grand! The sun is shining & it’s 6pm.

    Just booked a sojourn to NYC, so in ten days time, I’ll be packing my bags & hitting the big apple for the week! Just in time to attend the SA party, per chance, but I’m 99% sure I won’t be going there. Will, however, happily connect with big apple blog friends. Fun!

    I miss LadyI! Wish she was still around, but am so happy for her!

  123. Stormcat says:

    Morning Lily, How goes life in the land of the noontime moon?

    hey there sugarcats and kittens
    Stormcat here . . . fiercely soaring on the currents of life. I feel so positive with my latest life moves. I faced the reality that maintaining early retirement status is no longer an option, , So I winterized my upstate home, moved South, back toward the city, rented an apartment and an office, and started reconecting with all my old clients. Everyone seems so positive and encouraging, are welcoming me back, and are promising to use my services again. My longtime SB is being so supportive of me throughout this situation and I’m feeling more and more confident that our relationship is back on track and better than ever. She helped me pick out the apartment and office. Then we made a financial plan that we both are comfortable with, that meets our needs, and allow us to spend time together and grow our relationship without the stress of financial insecurity.

  124. cleo says:

    a-doc: that’s so odd, why wouldn’t they stock petites?

    that said i live in a city where 182 languages are spoken on the streets so the really petite women here can go to the chinese or tibetan or whatever shops and still get clothing

    you’re probably stuck in a kids section…
    .
    michael i hear what you’re saying, i just respectfully disagree. one man’s trash is another man’s treasure after all

  125. Lily says:

    Good Morning, sugars!!

  126. Darnell says:

    BiBaby-Was that at Eric Ripert’s outpost? Sounds terrific. What made that promising meet not work out?

  127. Bicentennial Baby says:

    @BrandNew,

    Outback is 5 star???

    ROFL!

    I had a 1st meet with a pot SD 2 weeks ago at the Ritz Carlton for lunch in DC…$120 bottle of champagne (mmm…good!), chilled pumpkin soup, fabulous salmon, wild greens and capers salad and molten lava cake. Total bill was $229 plus tip. Tried not to look but saw it by accident.

    I wasn’t close enough to be able to mesh on # of meets per month on arrangement but he was 1st class all the way…we chat by email every so often just to say hi & I wish him all the best.

    THAT’S a Five Star lunch. Your wanna-be SD is a player & fraud.

    Keep the faith kiddo, I’ve got a real SD now and the bad ones make you appreciate the good ones that come along. Even if it doesn’t work out with every good pot SD, the experiences alone are worth the journey to the right one waiting for you.

  128. Michael Alleycat says:

    BrandNew – Outback Steakhouse = 5 star? That is the funniest thing I have heard all year.

    Omfg, and I’m Australian too!! That place gets 1 star and only because it serves Fosters. Seriously, the first time I went there, I thought “WTF? What is all this food? Never heard of ANY of this stuff!”

  129. IRLSD says:

    Did you talk about deleting your profiles during the meet?

    We did. I mentioned to her that with the last SB we both deleted our profiles when we decided to make it work, and she said she would go home and delete it. I never asked her to do so per se. But to be honest, it simply doesn’t work to be on the prowl for other SBs/SDs. Been there, done that, and it’s poison to the relationship. There has to be a commitment to make it work for it to work. Plus, I already have SB-hopping out of my system, so I just want one SB whose company I can see myself enjoying and who I can see myself in bed with. If it works, great, otherwise I’ll come back to the site and see what the fresh catch of the day is lol.

    • SD Guru says:

      @IRLSD
      I mentioned to her that with the last SB we both deleted our profiles when we decided to make it work, and she said she would go home and delete it.

      I see, so has it been your MO to look for an exclusive relationship? I wouldn’t be surprised if you talked about deleting profiles further down the road. But I am surprised that you talked about it during the first meet when you still have a lot more to learn about each other. But given your past experience, I’m sure your hunch to proceed is probably right. Otherwise, there is always a fresh catch of the day like you said! :)

      @Bicentennial Baby

      I had a 1st meet with a pot SD 2 weeks ago at the Ritz Carlton for lunch in DC… I wasn’t close enough to be able to mesh on # of meets per month on arrangement but he was 1st class all the way

      Having an expensive meal during a first meet can certainly make a good impression. But as your experience shows, ultimately it has very little to do with whether it leads to an arrangement. A SD can’t charm you into an arrangement with an expensive meal if other factors get in the way. In this case you probably could have found out that you don’t mesh for an arrangement just as easily over drinks or coffee.

      @Michael
      Omfg, and I’m Australian too!! That place gets 1 star and only because it serves Fosters. Seriously, the first time I went there, I thought “WTF? What is all this food? Never heard of ANY of this stuff!”

      I’m shocked – shocked! – that Outback doesn’t serve Australian food!! :)

  130. aspiring doc says:

    @cleo: no standardrdises sizing but there are only a few stores that stock 6’s and 7’s. Im petite and starting size here is about 8 in alot of mid-high end stores. cheaper stores stock smaller sizes but they often dont last long or fit aswell

  131. Anna Molly says:

    Hope everyone is having a great evening 😀

  132. Anna Molly says:

    Hi Lily!!! Yes, would love to send you an email and I do have your address. I will send you a an email tomorrow! 😀

  133. Brand New SB says:

    So here is a good laugh for those of you who I have been chatting with. The SD who I met with has sent 6 messages in the last 5 minutes! The last one read…”if you weren’t going to give me the time of day you ***(*insert terrible names) you should have suggested McDonalds, instead you let me take you to the most expensive place in the city.” Outback I remind you…as well as living in a city of about 3 million…i think there are more expensive places.

    Sorry for my rants I just had to get it out!

  134. IRLSD says:

    Well, I went on two sugar dates in the past week. The first one: there was no chemistry, so I spent an hour at Starbucks, and then ran off. Then I was supposed to meet someone yesterday but she flaked out the last minute with something about work–as they say, snoozers, losers. But then again, I actually tried to meet her seven months ago when I was last sugar-searching and she flaked on me twice (once family drama, the second time she was going to be an hour late, so I told her to forget about it). And today I met someone really nice, intelligent, educated, charming, and with a nice smile. We hit it off well, and I come home to see her profile is already deleted and so I deleted mine too. Well, I guess you won’t hear much from me until this one fizzles out.

    As for ex-SB, she’s still staying in an apartment in my name. I texted her last week and she didn’t respond. I think the best thing will be for me to end the lease at the end of the year. It gives her 3 months of my paying her rent and utilities to get her affairs in order and move on.

  135. carebear says:

    Looks like I have a lot to read and catch up on….

    Got in from Chicago late last night….amazing city! Met my very first SB friend as well =)

    New job interview tomorrow morning…wish me luck! I need it, I’m such a disorganized mess from traveling….UGH

    <3

  136. aspiring doc says:

    @michael: lol thats what i thought. No apparently he would rather spend his money and itme oding something useful. Putting his time and money into something that will benefit others. I dont actually discredit this as i had a family friend who at aged 40 decided he didnt want to be a pilot and went to study medicine. naaa noone does medicine for fun- TRUST ME!!! Im not sure what is fun about lack of sleep … the content is fun/interesting but not the workload! He has just finished a biomedical degree and has applied for sydney univrsity. yes he does sound a bit typically austrailian in that he probably exagerrates a little.
    But I can cope with arrogant aussies ;)- im only conversing with him at the moment so if he decides to fly to new zealand for dinner at some stage- thats fine- im not against chatting to him

  137. Bela says:

    lol That just goes to show you what would have happened if you continued! What a joke. Especially if he considers Outback a 5-star restaurant. Like you, it’s a great place to eat, but his tastes are apparently not similar to yours 😉

    Very rarely should you have to sacrifice class for an ass.

  138. Brand New SB says:

    Nico, Bela and BrownEyed Girl- Thanks for all the support. This sugar world is much tougher than it first appears!

    BEG-yeah, I was thinking that maybe I need to look at some of the younger SDs. The older ones keep contacting me but it seems that they either want to offer money for one meet (which isn’t what i am here for) or say very creepy things that lead me to believe they would never be gentlemen. Hopefully a younger SD will want a real connection. I hope you find what you are looking for our there…it is hard weeding them out but hopefully with the wonderful blog advice from more seasoned SB it will get easier.

    Bela- I took your advice and told him what you suggested…within minutes he wrote back calling me nasty names and said i just used him for a “5 star dinner”. I had to laugh to myself because we met at an Outback Steakhouse which was fine…however I don’t think it constitutes 5 star! Oh goodness!

    Nico-Thank you for the well wishes and welcome! I hope I wasn’t sounding shallow and superficial. I certainly wouldn’t have picked his outfit, however, it was more the appearance of it then anything. His jeans had to have been 20 years old and all stained up, his old black and red D.A.R.E shirt was probably that old wtih grease stains down the front and his sandals were falling apart, holes in his socks. I even offered to buy dinner because he really looked like a good charity case. Unfortunately I didn’t get a glimpse of what he was driving but I can only imagine it was bad. I drive an older Lexus and he couldn’t get over what an amazing vehicle I had…kept saying that i didn’t need the sugar…her did! I just can’t imagine that he had the means to give any sugar. Hopefully I will get a good one next time. I am talking to a SD now that seems to have some potential! Wish me luck!

  139. BrownEyedGal says:

    @Sunny Funny SB – thanks!

  140. Nico says:

    @ Brand New…my first SD wore nothing but gray sweat pants and white or blue polo shirts; however, if we met for dinner in a nice restaurant he would dress appropriately. There were times sweats were what he wore to brunch or even lunch and sometimes dinner (depending on where we dined). Style is a preference thing…my SD always said he didn’t dress to impress but for comfort. He was kind enough to not make grunting noises during dinner while having an intimate affair with my ‘girls’. What works for some may not work for others….there are plenty of kind gentlemen out there and you’ll find the one that is right for you.

    Good luck and WELCOME!!

  141. @ brown eyed girl

    I am happy to share.. click on the website link on my name as I have posted it there in three parts.. first two parts are done and will finish it in the next couple days.

  142. Bela says:

    Brand New – The best thing is to be diplomatically honest. You say thank you for dinner and the conversation, but you just didn’t feel that it was going to work (or however you would say it.) Ignoring might be a little too passive (and it takes longer to get rid of them) but you don’t want to be rude. Be clear in your message but remember that a simple “thanks but no thanks” works just fine.

  143. BrownEyedGal says:

    Brand New SB – I am new too and I spent a lot of times reading the blogs to learn the ropes and it helps. Although I am still in the searching stage, I’ve met a few pots for dinner or coffee and have yet to find the one person I can see myself with. So far I am going through different age group to see who is best fitted for me. In the process i am learning to apply what every body advised in here. I learned that the more you spend time here the more you build your criteria, learn how to spot fake SDs and negotiating skills :)

  144. Anna Molly says:

    Wish I could give some advice, but, I’ve never been to Chicago….

  145. BrownEyedGal says:

    Bela – just like me :) that’s why if left alone it is always nice to be stranded in a city where you can go sightseeing or shopping or join group tours or if you have a car then drive around and check out places.

  146. Ms. Taken says:

    Welcome back, dear Stormy. I missed your posts. Sounds like that time of introspection was good for you Retreats can do a body and mind good 😉 Well, settle in and jump back in the fray. I believe you’ll (continue to) find loving support here.

  147. Brand New SB says:

    Sunny Funny and Lily…Thank you! I will certainly be going through the blogs for advice. This being my first time I was thinking that I was not up for this. There has to be some kind of attraction for it to work, just my opinion of course. I am very glad to here there are attractive SD out there. I am an attractive 25 year old and would like to find someone that is compatible. This man made me nauseous to look at. Now he keeps emailing me and asking if I had fun and would like to meet again. I don’t want to be rude but there is no chance in hell that I want to. Do I tell him how I felt or do I just not respond? Any advice is greatly appreciated!

  148. Bela says:

    @BEG – That is a given :) I know I’ll be working, but I’m already planning on finishing a couple books that I started this summer and never finished. I just know me and how I can sometimes get a little restless and need to get out. I love new cities and exploring them (yes, I know doing it alone isn’t always smart) so I just wanted to know if there were any hidden gems.

  149. BrownEyedGal says:

    Bela if you run out of options to do bring all the books/novels/mags with you that you’ve been meaning to read and just chill out. :)

  150. @ Brand New SB Welcome to the Sugar world. This is not for everyone and this is often where the screening process comes in. It is hard to know if someone is real or fake initially so ask plenty of questions before you agree to meet. Sometimes if a picture I view of someone appears outdated due to the style of their clothes or hair style I will simply ask if they have an updated picture so I make them aware I know with out being ugly about it.

    It is harder once you are in the meeting but remember nothing at that point is set in stone and you can always get up and leave. As far as asking for something upfront.. I have never ever done that.. or even thought of it. Some Pot SD’s will give a gift at a meeting but not always and it usually depends on how it goes. Read the blogs and learn from some of the experienced SB’s here who have much wisdom and guidance to offer. Also check out on the home page the links that can help you get started like the advice to SB’s.

    Most SD’s that I have met dress appropriately for the occasion and setting. Good Luck in your search.

  151. BrownEyedGal says:

    @Stormcat – Rejection in any form of approach (light or harsh) and whether you are the giver or receiver has a big effect if you are a natural sensitive person. There is no escaping the feelings of betrayal or guilt. One can only hope that one does not care too much so one can move on in a better shape or form. If I can only learn the art of ‘break it to me/you gently’ if there is such thing, perhaps I might be able to survive the sugar world.

  152. Lily says:

    There are such fine gents out there. This guy was not one of them.

    Just keep your eye on the prize & just keep on truckin’…

  153. Brand New SB says:

    I have not posted here before but need someone to answer my question.
    So I just met my first SD in person and it didn’t go so well. He had sent pictures of his face so I knew what he looked like but when he showed up he hardly resembled his photo. He also had sent me the link the the business he owns and after checking it out, he is probably worth what he says he is. This man was dressed like a bum. He had on 80’s tapered leg jean, walmart sandals with socks on, and a DARE shirt. I truly didn’t recognize him and was mortified when he sat down at my table. He just say there starting at my chest and almost moaning. It was so creepy. The conversation was borderline harassment. I didn’t want to be rude so I rushed through my dinner and got the hell out of there. So my questions are. I understand many SD are older…do most of them dress terrible? Are SD really buying the right to just stare at you and be rude? Is any of this normal? I didn’t ask for anything up front because I thought it would be rude and now feel i should have been paid to sit through that.

    • SD Guru says:

      @Brand New SB
      when he showed up he hardly resembled his photo.

      It’s not uncommon and it happens more often than it should, for both SD and SB’s.

      He also had sent me the link the the business he owns and after checking it out, he is probably worth what he says he is.

      That maybe so. But he can send you a link to any business, how do you know he actually owns it?

      This man was dressed like a bum. It was so creepy. The conversation was borderline harassment.

      That sounds like a guy who couldn’t get a date IRL or on match.com and is a SD wannabe.

      do most of them dress terrible? Are SD really buying the right to just stare at you and be rude? Is any of this normal?

      No, no, and heck no. You should expect the men you meet to have a higher standard, SD or not.

      i should have been paid to sit through that.

      Based on what you wrote, you should have. That’s why it might have been better to just meet for drinks or coffee for a first meet so that you don’t have to suffer through dinner with someone like that. Here’s what I wrote about first meet in an earlier post:

      There are 3 things you want to find out for a first meet, and anything else that happens is a bonus.

      1. Will he/she show up as planned?
      2. Will he/she be as advertised in the profile?
      3. Is there chemistry and compatibility to take things further?

      It doesn’t take a long dinner or some other elaborate plans for a first meet to figure all that out. Keep the first meet simple, and if it goes well then you can mutually decide to schedule a longer second meet and take it from there. By the way, I wrote all this before I saw your subsequent posts. Good riddance!

      @Stormcat
      it was about not allowing the actions of others to influence how we perceive or feel about ourselves. The introspection I spoke of grew out of meditation over this last week that I spent in retreat embracing the teachings of a well know Shaman…

      I’m just a guru, not a shaman. :) But you and others probably remember one of my favorite sayings in the blog is this: “You can’t control what other people say or do. All you can control is how you react to them.”

      @Lily
      Just wondering if you guys found these types of cash-for-picked-out-gift daddies as often as I have.

      I’m not sure what you described is that common. What’s probably more common is SD’s who are willing to help a SB pay her bills and reduce her debt in place of providing an allowance. It still involves money, but the SD knows exactly what the money is used for by paying the bills directly. This usually leads the SD to become an allowance SD later as he gets more comfortable with providing financial assistance.

      @aspiring-doc
      What id love is a sugar daddy who would hire me a stylist for a day- i still haven’t figured out what i pull off best!

      At most high end department stores you can set up an appointment with a personal shopper. He/she will usually consult with you prior to the appointment to get a sense of what kind of look you’re shooting for, and then have coordinated outfits and accessories ready for you to try on when you show up. The service is free, but you’ll need a SD to pick up the tab though. :)

      @IRLSD
      We hit it off well, and I come home to see her profile is already deleted and so I deleted mine too. Well, I guess you won’t hear much from me until this one fizzles out.

      Did you talk about deleting your profiles during the meet? I find that an odd thing to do after only a first meet when you’re just starting to get to know each other. Maybe she deleted it for other reasons?

      @Sunny Funny SB
      first two parts are done and will finish it in the next couple days.

      I enjoyed reading the first two parts and looking forward to the rest!

      @Nico
      He was kind enough to not make grunting noises during dinner while having an intimate affair with my ‘girls’.

      Huh? Was that at a restaurant? 😉

      ——————–

      Regarding Courtney’s interview…

      One thing that men are stupid about is that they can misconstrue the impressions that their sugar baby is giving them.

      That’s why both SD and SB’s should enjoy the connection/feelings they have but still remember it’s NSA.

      A lot of times when I see married men getting attached like that I just sort of drop them, because you know, they get confused.

      Yes they do, and you’re doing them a favor by dropping them. I wish my SB’s did that for me when I used to get emotionally involved in the early days. That would have saved me a lot of heartache and spared me from learning my lessons the hard way. That’s why my #1 rule for sugar relationships is “don’t get emotionally attached, especially for a married man.”

      I kinda like it when the wives call, the married ones, and you’re sitting their in your sexy outfit. It’s naughty, it’s controversial, and it makes people uncomfortable, and I like to make people uncomfortable

      Not only is it naughty, it’s also quite a rush!

      British women can be quite up-tight, they’re not as feisty… It’s more accepted in the UK to have a mistress. They are so kinky you know, but it’s almost unemotional.

      Having a mistress is part of the old world culture in Europe and it’s less taboo compared to the US. Since British women can be perceived as quite up tight as you said, there is a large influx of eastern European women to fill the void. And they are usually better at handling “kinky”. 😉

  154. Lily says:

    Hiya AM!
    Can you email me ? Still have my email?

  155. Anna Molly says:

    Well, I’m just glad to be back. 😀

    Funny how the convo turned toward the Stylist side of things….I too am looking for one 😀

  156. Stormcat says:

    NC Gent, Bela ~ Your comments are obviously accurate, however, my post was not about rejection, rather it was about not allowing the actions of others to influence how we perceive or feel about ourselves. The introspection I spoke of grew out of meditation over this last week that I spent in retreat embracing the teachings of a well know Shaman with the goal of connecting and aligning with earth and nature. My meditations and the principles I have learned are personal and to be kept to myself, but I thought that maybe others might find that one insight useful in dealing with the frustration of encountering retaliation due to perceived rejection. Something that all of us in the sugar world commonly encounter.

  157. Cleo – the reason I laughed at the comment re A-docs suitor re “studying med next year for fun”.

    You can study French or Philosophy or Art or any number of things for fun and interest. To me, the reason to apply to Med School is to become a doctor. You don’t study medicine for fun, you do it to become a doctor. Plus he hasn’t started yet!. He is what we Aussies call a “gunna” because he is gunna do this, gunna do that, and gunna do Med School next year.

    As far as I am concerned, empty words, and is using them to strike a “we’re in this together” start to the relationship.

    Next! would be my advice.

  158. cleo says:

    bela i totally assume i’ll never hear from anyone again

    heck i might even shag a pot because i want him and still not expect to hear from him again (even if i want him to i always assume they’re gone until i hear otherwise)

    that said, since i approach everything with an open heart and a truthful mien i don’t do anything *I* don’t want to do whether i get an allowance or not, called or not… whatever

    i also think that if someone is hurt by me behaviour that it behooves me to look in a mirror to figure out why…

  159. Bela says:

    So true. I think you almost have to plan on being rejected. Maybe then you don’t get hurt or jolted when it doesn’t work.

  160. NC Gent says:

    wow… the sugar world is not for the feint of heart. Rejection is a big part of it, and one thing is for sure… the rejection won’t always be graceful and/or considerate. One of the main reasons that the sugar life isn’t for everyone!

  161. Stormcat says:

    Hey everyone. Had some feelings of shame and disappointment lately so I’ve been in lurk mode for some introspection. I’ve been mostly contemplating about dealing with feelings evoked by the perception that something unfair has happened. Anyway, the following thoughts evolved that might be of interest here so I decided to post a for-what-its-worth, you-decide-if it’s-relevant-to-you message.
    For example, I’ve noticed posts that describe a scenario something like: Met with pot and everything seemed good . . . then XYZ happened . . . which made me realize that this was not the right person for me. So I said “no thank you”. Then pot retaliated by . . . Then what follows is some expression of disappointment, angst, bewilderment, anger, disgust, incredulity, embarrassment, etc. all of the above; which encapsulates a feeling of injustice or harm.
    Responding with hostility to any injustice is somewhat of an irrationality. Ones hatred has no effect on ones enemies. Rather the consequence of ones feelings is born completely by oneself. We suffer the bitterness of having such feelings. It eats from within. As we talk about it and dwell on it, the anger grows, we may begin to lose our appetite, our hopefulness, our natural happiness, our positive outlook. The negativity shows on us and other people may start avoiding us. Our sleep is disturbed as we toss and turn all night long. Our work may suffer, our daily routine may become disturbed, etc. etc. It effects us profoundly, while the person who perpetrated the wrong, continues along, blissfully unaware of the state we have been reduced to.

  162. Ivory SB says:

    So, for some weird reason I wasn’t getting any alerts to my email that I was getting mail or winks. Just one came through in the past week so I was thinking that something was wrong with my profile. I go to my mailbox and I have new messages! Awesome!

  163. James.m says:

    Bela
    You can always go to a Notre Dame game…

  164. NC Gent says:

    Bela — take your camera if you go! And I spazzed a lil bit — it is actually Indiana Dunes National Lakeshore.

    Ivory SB — I believe most SDs don’t care if the SB has a premium account. Pictures and profile are the important deciding factors.

  165. Ivory SB says:

    Hmmm…kinda in a dilemma. My premium membership just expired and am not sure if I should renew. Does it make a difference for guys looking at profiles if the SB does not have a premium membership?

  166. Bela says:

    Thank you NC Gent!!

  167. Bela says:

    That sounds pretty good. I grew up in Texas (suburbs/city, not on a ranch) but I’m pretty versatile. Just need an idea of options for the weekend, since I will have some time on my hands.

  168. NC Gent says:

    Bela — not sure where you grew up or what you like to do, but one of my favorite spots around there besides Chicago is the Indiana Dunes National Forest — beautiful landscape and a great place to hike or walk. There shouldn’t be too much traffic getting there either.

  169. cleo says:

    talk to midwest, she lives there…

  170. Bela says:

    Good Morning Sugar People!

    Here’s a question for those in the Midwest. I just found out that I’m going to be in Lake County, IN for 2 weeks. I should have easy access to Chicago, but what the hell do I do in Lake County when I can’t get to the city?

    Any and all suggestions would be perfect.

    Thanks!! <3

  171. cleo says:

    have fun midwest

  172. Anna Molly says:

    Good Mornin’!!! Hope all is well with everyone!

    XOXOXO

  173. Midwest SB says:

    Busy, busy day today and traveling tonight..you’ll hear more from me tomorrow night. Sweet sugar all!

  174. Champagne4Breakfast says:

    @A-Doc Just a little tip I learned from shoots where the stylist bailed one to many times at the last moment… Most stores have someone designated as an “accessory consultant”, “personal shopper”, etc. Ask for the store manager, ask to be directed to that person to schedule an appointment and let them do the work of picking looks for you. Generally, it works in the same manner as it would if you were getting a makeover at a make-up counter. They will start a dressing room for you. Go prepared to buy.

  175. cleo says:

    Ms Taken: i see your point, that Darnell certainly SEEMS worth cloning!
    .
    LASB: the dirtiest girl i know is the most innocent looking, so i’m not as surprised as i might be.

    thanks! it’s so awesome to see the abs i spent 7 years building! (not all ripped, muscle sheathed in softness now)
    .
    brown eyed gal: thanks and you’re welcome!
    .
    aspiring doc: darlin’ ANYONE who wants to call me beautiful is allowed to say so! (although i’m 39 now, did SA fail to update? better fix that :)

    are you saying they’ve actually managed standardized sizing in NZ? cause here i have tops that range from xxs to m and bottoms from xs-l and they all seem to fit. it’s brand specific here…
    .
    alleycat i know a man who is 48 and on a whim has started osteopathy school. he’s what he calls ‘semi retired’ and looking for something to do once his daughter leaves home in about seven years (about how long osteo school takes)

    careful judging everyone by your decisions :)

  176. Michael Alleycat says:

    Studying medicine for fun? Bwah hahaha – sounds like something I would have said when I was 25. Sorry A-Doc but I just don’t buy that one.

  177. aspiring doc says:

    interesting lilly :)
    my experiences so far- now off to sleep- its 8pm but i havent stoped in 24 hrs yet- yay for sleep

  178. Lily says:

    Men will date the youngest, hottest thing they can get away with dating using whatever incentives necessary. Women crave security & appreciation, and will parlay their assets to land themselves in the most secure, plentiful life situation that they can get themselves into, for their own benefit and for the benefit of their present and/or future dependents.

    Which is why a gift relationship really doesn’t make sense to me. She can’t sock away gifts which depreciate to create more stability.

    Have you guys ever noticed that some men will only sugar in gift form but then they will only fund it via sending you the funds electronically to go buy it on your own time?

    Then of course, he must know that if you need the funds for more important things than the luxury item he paid for, you can quietly redirect the money as u see fit.

    I find this an elegant solution to men who find a monthly allowance commitment daunting (or, then, a way too formalized/structured approach to infidelity that seems so deliberate & pre-meditated to possibly live with) but do, on some level, understand that a four-digit-price-tag designer gift may not really be helping your life terribly much in a big picture sort of way.
    They then may insist on funding something you want from time to time, in an ad-hoc ‘gift daddy’ sort of way, but in a method which they are either consciously or subconsciously aware of the fact that it gives you options of how to best manage the funds.

    Just wondering if you guys found these types of cash-for-picked-out-gift daddies as often as I have.

  179. aspiring-doc says:

    @ Ms. Taken: fantastic advice: thanks. I do that with the lady from body shop- I time buying makeup with when i need my makeup to look perfect :P. That way she does it for me- I learn something and I choose one item I was going to buy anyway.

    @cleo: ur welcome- ur a beautiful 38 if Im allowed to say so. Yes I get what u mean. Im not sure what american sizing is. Im between a nz six and a nz seven- so a 6.5 :P. Its kinda awkward because jeans are either too tight or perfect but stretch after a couple washes….neway I digress.
    Im undecided- some days i like pretty girl and other days Ill rock my leather jacket and eyeliner and do the ‘dont mess with me’ look.
    😛

    @all: I told him just what you all said: to call me when he gets it together. lets call him mr.coin for reference sake. Austrailian pot is interseting- but very forward- he wants to fly over this weekend if I have time (hmmm sorta- i could do one night but not two) and meet for dinner. Hes done this before and I think he sounds okay. He bragged a bit about how much money hes dropped on sugar babies in the past— but coulda been more reassurance that hes a genuine catch then bragging…though he defiently does make out that he has more money than he knows what to do with. Hes studying med next year for fun. Most of his income is passive…hes in property.
    His reason for the sugar world “woman my own age just date me for moeny, so why not date a younger woman if I can get away with it”.
    haha

  180. Darnell says:

    Ms. Taken: I’m open to multi-tasking. 😉

  181. Ms. Taken says:

    @GESL~:)

    @BRG~Glad you’re finding value in the posts. Sugar is sweeter when spread around generously 8)

    @ms_swtheart ~a big welcome to you. you are right to be wary of that proposition. immediate spoiling is john-like speak for sleep with you now and pay you like an escort – Eww, don’t fall for it!

  182. ms_swtheart says:

    everyones bolder over the Internet. especially me lol. I would ne’er so anything to anyone (I couldn’t hurt a fly haha) but I like to keep people on thier toes lol

  183. ms_swtheart says:

    sorry for all the spelling mistakes… the iPhone is a nazi with the presictie text :)

  184. ms_swtheart says:

    just discovered this blog… thank god there’s a way to converse with fellow sbs! I’m not having much trouble finding an SD although I’d like to know why so many many treat this is a dating site.. looking for love in all the wrong places I suppose.. well, I found 1 pot who seems okay, but I’m surfing to think he’s sketch. I aske him for his picture after I sent him mine ( nothing distasteful I assure you) but he by passed the question. Then asked if I still wanted to meet and if I was available for spoiling right away. I aske him if he got my last email and he hasn’t answered. I’m not sure about this one… if it seems too good to be true, it probably is, right? .:sigh:. you girls make this look so easy..

  185. BrownEyedGal says:

    @SunnyFunny SB – Care to share what type of questions you now asked and the criteria? Tks.

  186. BrownEyedGal says:

    Ms Taken, Midwest, Bela, Cleo – I’m loving your advices…

    Yours truly – the apprentice

  187. BrownEyedGal says:

    Lol! Alleycat another vision of you – -> wearing a choir robe :)

  188. LASB says:

    Cleo – Well, I look innocent, and mostly I am. But if he’s game, I’m game, and he’s very much enjoying being with his first Dominant girlfriend. By the way, congrats for shaking off the extra pounds. I remember you were talking about it a few months back. Oh, and I have yet to met Jaiya, but every time I get one of her emails, I think, “damn, I really gotta check this out.”

  189. Green Eyed Sugar Lady says:

    Ack! All I had to do was see the word…. hello earworm.

    I feel like I’m in Camp Fire again :)

  190. LASB says:

    Midwest – Which Sunny do you mean? Sunnyfunnylane or AlwaysSunny? I didn’t see which posts you were talking about. Without reading them though, my gut tells me that the guy in question who may be posing as a Dom is just a jerk. By the way, I’m super out of the loop here. What’s going on in your sugar world these days? Catch me up pls!

  191. cleo says:

    mmmmmmmm marshmallows… so yummy

  192. Bela says:

    I can’t carry a tune, but it’s never stopped me before.

  193. Arcadia SB says:

    Someone better be makin S’mores 😉

  194. Kumbaya my Lord, kumbaya
    Kumbaya my Lord, kumbaya
    Kumbaya my Lord, kumbaya
    Oh Lord, kumbaya

    Peace …

  195. Ms. Taken says:

    BTW Darnell, are you open to being cloned?

  196. Ms. Taken says:

    Aww, c’mon you guys….really 8)

    Stuck in Negotiation class. Sheesh…I can’t catch a break. My professors either drone oooonn or get way too excited about the material. Tonight I have the droner. What a snooze fest ;& – Shoot. Me. Now.

    Bela…I’m with you on that one and I’d join in the refrain but it’s gets stuck in GESL’s head 😉 – nobody deserves that.

  197. cleo says:

    Bela/Darnell: i think we might need some mood stimulants too

  198. Darnell says:

    Bela: I’ll get out the candles. :)

  199. Bela says:

    Ladies, please don’t make me break out the guitar for an apparently much needed Kumbaya. ‘Cause I’ll do it.

  200. cleo says:

    beach: oh i’m sorry to hear that you can’t sleep! i hope you finally managed it!
    .
    a-doc: thank you! and thank you!

    i thought you might know what i meant. i do think the only way to dress is to find your OWN style and then find pieces to fit it. heck some days i wear jeans that are a month old and shoes that are five years old and one of the few tops from high school i still have/wear (which, btw, is 20some years ago)

    as for jeans, try different brands. i’m a 27/28 at the gap and 29/30 at jacob connection and 33 at h&m and NOTHING at old navy fits right and… so you might have luck with a brand you never thought of (and, by the way, jacob jeans are 30-40 bucks and suit me better than guess)
    .
    Darnell: thank you sir! that’s actually my best friends place, she lives across the hall and up a couple of floors. my view is of a ravine and trees and classic buildings. both awesome but very different :)
    .
    Nico: heh, that would be SO FUN!

    that said, i won’t shop in stores with bad service, i vote with my hard earned bucks :)
    .
    did i miss anyone?
    :)

    also someone hook up Dandelion Wine and I please?

  201. Random SB says:

    Dandelion – You’re reading way too much into a few words and are running with them. I didn’t imagine anything… her first post was about how perfume was a lackluster b-day gift after the guy gave her 10k in the first month and had yet to expect anything in return. My subsequent posts were NOT directed toward her, but just said in regards to people in general. Darling, if you want to pin me up as an envious bitch, then go ahead. Why would I be envious of someone I don’t even know? Like I said before… it’s the internet. I’m not here to argue with you or to attack LACB (apologies if I came on too strong) so please stop hurling catty, pointless insults at me. Peace.

  202. SunnyFunny SB says:

    @ Midwest SB… I got confused as I was catching up on the blogs lol but no problem. My gift card is from a new Potential.. I still have a meeting with one more before I make up my mind if I want to continue with either. I got a call from 2nd potential last night.. just to touch base and confirm we are still on for our meet.. and realized last night that somehow in my search as I have changed the questions I ask and my search criteria that I am now getting some quality Potentials who are putting my comforts and needs first.. right down to making me feel comfortable with the meetings. This is an added plus for me..

    @ all

    In the blogs we have touched on the importance of the screening process.. but I am curious what questions others ask that they feel is significant to helping weed out the fakes from the real deal? I have changed my own questions recently and by doing so I have cut down the time I am willing to invest initially in the screening process.. less quantity in who I will meet but wow.. the quality of what is left is great.

  203. NYGent says:

    Random SB: I don’t think you have been unreasonable. Maybe you came on a little strong with regard to your initial comments but the subject of your post actually solicited opinions and potential criticism from the group and most of the bloggers, including the veterans, agreed with the substance of your remarks. It’s true we don’t know all the facts (in particular we don’t have the “10K” SD’s side of the story at all), and it may turn out that what seemed on its face to be very generous to most of us isn’t necessarily so. The debate was lively and provocative and hopefully we can move on.

  204. Dandelion Wine says:

    Random, except that LACB never said she deserved to be treated like a princess.
    So you imagined a sense of entitlement, projected this image of LACB as a vapid self-absorbed entity that has nothing except her looks going for her, and then proceeded to attack LACB for all the faults and wrongdoings of your brainchild.
    Envy is the ugliest sin.

  205. Random SB says:

    Dandelion Wine – I really don’t think the things I have said have been that unreasonable. Oh god forbid, I’m saying that it’s wise for any girl to offer more than youth and beauty and a bratty attitude (not directed at you LA College Baby, just saying in general) and that acting haughty and saying you deserve to be treated like a princess (because why?) is probably not the best angle to use.

  206. Michael Alleycat says:

    A-Doc – this guy is clearly full of BS. Next!

  207. Ms. Taken says:

    Bela, I like your reasoning behind using the manager (will remember to ask for managers at other places, thx!). Better yet if they aren’t commission-based at that level. Then they just want to give good service to ensure your repeat patronage. Bonus!!

    Off to halls of academia. Catch up much later. Have a day, all!

  208. Bela says:

    I don’t use a lot of boutiques unless I need something in particular from there. I use the managers since they usually stay at the stores longer than the regular staff (and I’m too lazy to re-explain what I like every six months.)

  209. Ms. Taken says:

    Bela, Midwest we three must be on some sugar wave length 😉 because you guys post my thoughts while I’m still putting them together.

    Midwest, don’t forget your La Perla’s with that trench or forget them 8)

    BTW – is it Burberry?

  210. Ms. Taken says:

    Thanks, Bela. Are these stores more like boutiques?

    I’ve been working with someone too and like you, I don’t always agree and sometimes I trust her and just go with it! That magazine, Style, has a lot of suggestions too – which I find helpful.

  211. Midwest SB says:

    Reddamsel – it just takes one…stay strong and keep trying. If it gets to be too much or disappointing take a break and recharge.

    Bela – so very well said!

    Ms. Taken – I have made friends with a sales lady who used to work in a high-end boutique, then moved to our area and is now at Macy’s. She’s wonderful and keeps me in mind as I’m waiting for my favorite trench to go from $500 to $100 :-) Great suggestions!

  212. Ms. Taken says:

    @Bela~”An SB is a luxury” Very well-said and co-opted 8) “pay you in antiques” Literally (not really, but I so wanted to) ROTFL.

  213. Bela says:

    Ms. Taken – You made me laugh because that is exactly what I did about a year ago. I have two stores where I can go, and the manager knows who I am, what I like, and what I’d like to eventually look like.

    We have our moments where we can agree to disagree, but there have also been moments (special events) where her gamble on me was absolutely fantastic.

    Spot on sugguestion!!

  214. Bela says:

    Adoc – I know I’m no expert to the sugar world, but one thing I can tell you is that if he is trying to make you feel guilty about continuing this arrangement, get out now. Even if he doesn’t mean to, making you feel bad is not acceptable.

    Honestly, I would think that if his money issues are that stressful, maybe he should rethink his lifestyle. A sugarbaby is not a necessity. An SB is a luxury and if he has to put you on the back burner and pay you in antiques, he doesn’t deserve you. When he can get his sh*t back together, tell him to give you a call.

    Just my opinion, of course 😉 You’re fabulous!

  215. Reddamsel38 says:

    Hello all.
    Blog question: My sugar dating is non existent. I have been making changes to my profile and sending out winks and “notes” to SDs, but no responses yet. I feel like I’m doing something wrong, but I don’t know what.

  216. Ms. Taken says:

    @Midwest~your Chardonnay posts are so darling 😉

    @a-doc ~I hope this new situation works out with the new pot; it sounds promising.

    I’d like to offer a suggestion about the stylist? Get dressed a notch above what you would normally wear for a shopping trip to the mall. (you’ll be taken more seriously if you look like you could become a long-standing client) :0
    .
    Go to the career/dressy casuals area in the ladies’ dept. of one of the better department stores in your city. Find a salesperson whose style looks like a dressier, more polished version of yours and tell her, “I come here all the time and usually just pick pieces off the rack but now I’d like to start working with a stylist, you look like one. *looking at what she’s wearing approvingly* Can you help me?” ***you’ll use your own words, of course***
    .
    If she’s a stylist, great! Even if they don’t have “stylists” per se there, she will do her level best to step into that role and justify the compliment you just paid her. Make a note of the looks she puts together for you (take pictures if allowed) so you can recreate them from similar pieces already in your wardrobe or, you can purchase them elsewhere. Oh, and don’t forget the accessories 8)

    Just go with it, buy a piece you can afford, give her contact info (suggested) so she can alert you to upcoming sales, tell he you will see her soon.

    Et voila! You now have a stylist.

    Good Morning, Sugar Fam

  217. Midwest SB says:

    OOPSY! I got Gabrielle and Sunny mixed up last night…thought the fake SD had given the gift card and went on a rant. So sorry!

    Sunny – Congrats!

  218. Tru SB says:

    Hey everyone,

    Lots of new people since I last blog, I have been super busy but one good news is the I am at last saying goodbye to the UK and moving full time to LA :) 27wks and counting im so excited…
    Right now that aside I really need to focus on getting a SD I haven’t really been trying because of work etc but I am going to put me effort into it now.
    How is everyone?

  219. Nico says:

    aspiring doc and Cleo ~ I would loooove the “Pretty Woman” shopping experience. The “Major Sucking Up” *wink* Now I’m lucky to find a woman within earshot of a dressing room to pull a different size. *sigh* A personal stylist/shopper would be ideal. How lovely to wake up to a new outfit choice!! I think NYSB touched on this in one of her blogs about one of her SD’s that brought her a pair of Louboutins *grin*

    Off to enter my dreamland Sug Fam!!

  220. Darnell says:

    Like the new picture addition Cleo.

    The views from that apartment look pretty nice as well.

  221. Dandelion Wine says:

    Random SB, are you by chance one of Spiritual Baby’s disciples?
    Because that would explain a lot…

  222. aspiring doc says:

    @ cleo- oh good :) ps your photos are gorgeus :) i had a peek !! I get you with the lasting thing.
    well done on the pound drop!.
    the only thing i really hate about clothes is buying jeans. Im an inbetween size and I never can get it perfect!. I think you have a nice style though :). What id love is a sugar daddy who would hire me a stylist for a day- i still havent figured out what i pull off best!

  223. Midwest SB says:

    Ladies – I mean this nicely, but I’m so disappointed! You share awful experiences and are then willing to forgive them because the men have come through with some compensation. I know this puts you in a challenging scenario, but by accepting these gift cards, collateral, etc. you are telling these men it is fine to treat me poorlyl Please, please, ask yourselves if you are being a) fair to you and b) setting a good example to these men that this is a “normal” way to treat an sb.

    True SB – :-)

    Scarlet- pictures please!

    LASB – I’m not surprised! I’m glad it is working for you two! Could you look at Sunny’s posts and determine if he was just being dominant?

  224. Beach_Girl says:

    cleo~ i’m exhausted but can’t sleep. I am good, how are you? You got mail… going to try and sleep again…

  225. cleo says:

    hey beach, how are you this fine evening? nice to see you!
    .
    LASB: thanks for the update, love it!

    “now that i’ve trained him” rofl
    and you look so sweet!

  226. Beach_Girl says:

    Hello Sugars,
    Can’t sleep , just came to say HI!

  227. cleo says:

    a-doc: no worries babe, i wasn’t offended in the least, just trying to explain that our circumstances are very different because i don’t have to pay tuition (yet) or buy textbooks or whatever.

    one of the reasons i got into the sugar bowl was that i’m considering going to osteopathic college and it’s 800/month for SEVEN YEARS. so you know, sixty grand. (well not quite, the last two are your thesis years and i think the tuition drops)

    that said, since i just chucked 30 pounds i do NOT miss, i also have a desperate need for clothing that isn’t a sack!

    even still, i more go for classics and things i believe i can wear for a decade or five. i have a style that evolves with fashion but it’s still mine… you know what i mean methinks.

    for the record i wish i could sew and make my own stuff like you do!

  228. aspiring doc says:

    After revamping my profile: i had a few austrailian hits…so we will see…although im a bit tired of all this atm!

    one guy in property google voiced me last night- he has so much money hes decided to go back and study medicine for fun. I think my stated allowance may have been a little too low though- he seemed to accept it far too easily. Yes I dont normally discuss allowance before meeting- but when a plane trip MAY be involved I think its helpful. He said he normally goes on around 4k a month. my stated was 2-2.5K plus gifts. but its also situation dependent really and chemistry dependent. money is secondary to chemistry. and alot of the time finding chemistry is harder than finding money

    • SD Guru says:

      @Gabrielle
      I’ve recently had two terrible experiences. I think I’m just too naive?… Is this normal? This can’t be? Has anyone else had terrible experiences? How do I avoid this?

      Thanks for sharing your experience and I’m sorry to hear about your situation. What you described is a first travel meet gone bad and unfortunately it’s far too common for newbie SB’s. In generally it’s not a good idea for a newbie SB to plan a multi-day trip and travel to meet a pot SD because too many things can go wrong. But if one chooses to do it, there are certain precautions to take to reduce the risk which is described in “Travel Guidelines for SB’s” in the pages section of the blog.

      In addition, the brief description you provided about your experience was probably only part of the story. If you reflect on the situation you should be able to spot some warning signs before and during the meeting. In my blog I wrote about “Yet Another SB Horror Story” last month where I analyzed a SB’s trip gone bad to see what might have really happened. There are lots of lessons learned in the story so please take a look.

      In addition to Madrid, what was the other terrible experience?

  229. aspiring doc says:

    @cleo:

    apologies wasnt an insult at all :) i guess i just funnel nearly every penny into my student loan. even with a SD- it was still very practical spending :)….i also have to hide the fact i have money coming in from other sources. my parents would wonder how i afford louboutins- they cant believe i can pay my rent. :P.
    Cant wait to be employed..full time :D…not that my starting salary is that great…

    Also it probbaly reflects a huge difference in cultural attitudes. my cousins (in england) dress to the nines. I could never dress up that much here because people would think I was pretentious. The only girls that carry loubuitton are asian ladies- and that has its own stigma. (no racism intended!)

    @ ALL

    One more email from the so called sugar daddy – just saying that its a inner affair- so it wont make news. He also said…that he wants to make good on his word and understands if i dont want to see him again but he really regrets it because he likes me. T

    his last bit felt like a guilt trip– am i supposed to just see you because eventually you will front up !?. Did it occur to him that he is still making more than i do and that its not exactly big money to pay half the month. Pay your sugar baby before your lawyer!? 😛

  230. Scarlet aka JSB says:

    Hey Everyone,

    I feel like it has been soo long since I posted! I survived TIFF and am all caught up on sleep :) now I just need to catch up on the blog…

    Hope everyone is having a “sweet” end to the weekend!

  231. Random SB says:

    LACollegeBaby – You don’t have to believe it if you don’t want to. I have nothing to prove to anyone on this blog… I mean, it’s the internet. Please.

    But you’re right, I don’t feel as if I’m entitled to have a price tag on me. When I entered the sugar world, I settled upon a goal and that is what I sought after. What can I say, I aim high. I wasn’t sure if I would reach it or not, but I was lucky enough to not only do so, but with a man that is a complete gentleman – a perfect SD. He was the one who brought up the allowance and it’s out of his own generosity. Never do I feel as if he’s trying to “get his money’s worth” and never does he have the mentality that he “paid” for me. The allowance is rarely discussed, but it is always there.

    DandelionWine – I never said that LA College Baby had only her looks and nothing else. For all I know, she’s working towards her PhD. I was simply basing my comment off of the comment she left. Once again, this is the internet – things get miscommunicated. I wasn’t trying to be a bitch to her, but just trying to let her know that little attitudes like that are *typically* a turn off to SDs because no one wants to feel like the things they do are being taken for granted.

    Darnell – Yes, that’s exactly what I was trying to say. Even though much of a sugar relationship is based around the context of looks for money, it takes more to make it solid since there will always be more pretty girls and rich men (although typically less of the latter for the former).

  232. Naughty Molly says:

    I am so out of the loop it isn’t funny! I really need to spend more time around here!!!

    SDinLA ~ Yes, I ate the chocolate you sent to Anna….I’m such a bad girl, but, you already knew that 😉

    Naughty dreams everyone!!!! XOXOXOXO

  233. Dandelion Wine says:

    Cleo, sorry, thats what I should have written.
    Maybe someone that knows both of our emails can send you my email, or send me yours

  234. Dandelion Wine says:

    Darnell, even if (in your opinion) a college degree is not indicative of a certain level of intelligence, there was still no reason for Random SB to assume that the only thing LACB has going for her is her looks :)
    And, as I’ve said, since none of us know anything about LACB, we cannot accurately assess if she indeed has a great deal or if she is about to move out of her apartment to be taken advantage of by a complete miser.

  235. TrueSB says:

    @Midwest~”True SB is also very beautiful!” Thank you Midwest. I believe your beautiful aura allows the people in your space to be their most beautiful selves. I feel lucky to have met you and to have you share your “pearls” with me.

    My city and I are fairer for having hosted you. Rock on, my friend! 8)

  236. Bicentennial Baby says:

    back from my 1st meet with a new pot SD!!

    Wonderful time, great chemistry, no drama, normal and really friendly guy. There’s attraction too which is a plus! we both love football too, same team even!!

    We’re going to meet again next week and hopefully start an arrangement…so it was good that the other situation didn’t work out, it would have kept me from meeting this wonderful person and if things continue to be as good as so far, I would have missed out on a good thing. Time will tell but maybe things DO happen for a reason.

    Also another plus, they’ve had prior arrangements that worked out great and was willing to bring up the essentials right up front…what a relief! It’s nice not to have to couch what’s going on and be happy and completely up front about it. I took the honest approach and it seems to have worked. Because of some bad meets and one so-so arrangement that fell apart soon after, I was reluctant to continue the search…but I learned SD’s have to search a lot too for the right person (he’s had to look awhile after the last good arrangement had to end), and now having had bad experiences, I appreciate the good ones more. So there’s a lot to be said for being patient!

  237. Anyone seen Stormy recently?

  238. cleo says:

    dandelion: i can’t email you, no way to contact you. midwest, lily, alleycat, the blog gods etc can connect us though…?
    .
    aspiring doc i buy expensive shoes on sale. i don’t mean louboutin, i mean 100-300 dollar shoes i believe are versatile, classy, and comfortable. same thing with the occasional piece, i recently got 3 pieces from last year’s collection by a local designer. bill – 250. regular price 550-600 at least.

    that’s how i ‘buy expensive’

    also, remember i’m 39 and self-employed, very very very different from a student. i’m not rich for sure but i’m also debt free and can indulge a little on occasion.

    more i try to pick things tyra banks wouldn’t shake her head at if i walked in to casting at america’s next top model. that simple elegance of the model on a go see suits my long height admirably.

    but i’m more likely to do elegant casual than elegant formal y’know? if an SD needs formal wear he can pay for it.
    .
    SD Guru: exactly what i was trying to say!
    .
    gabrielle: the one time i met a pot far away for a few days he:
    -sent payment, in advance, for my ticket and ‘incidentals’ (seriously he put like 300 bucks extra at least)
    -pre booked the hotel with a confirmation number, in my name, AND prepaid it (verified by me at his insistence)
    -offered to rent me a car for my stay if i wished
    -insisted that i take more safety precautions than i owuld have
    -continuously checked with me to be sure *I* felt comfortable…
    -told me, IN ADVANCE, that he would not be staying after dinner. before i even ARRIVED
    etc

  239. Green Eyed Sugar Lady says:

    A SB What did you do on your first meet? If it was coffee or cocktails, I would suggest dinner. If you and he are not looking to be intimate yet, perhaps you could go someplace where you could take a nice walk afterwards and continue the conversation. Are there any interesting neighborhoods/districts where you live, or a lake or riverfront for a romantic stroll?

    Movies, plays, etc are nice but it’s hard to really get to know someone that way. I like to do things like that once I’ve already gotten to know the other person, but that’s just me.

    Good luck!

  240. Green Eyed Sugar Lady says:

    @ Gabrielle, I’m sorry that happened to you. I’ve never traveled for a first meet (I’m not sure I ever would as it’s out of my comfort zone), but you’ve been given some really great advice on how to make sure you’re not so vulnerable next time.

    @ Sunnylane! Congratulations! You deserve it. :)

    Re: Married vs. Single I’m much more comfortable with a married SD…. I view myself as more of a “mistress” than a “sugarbaby” anyhow. I’d like to believe that I offer a married SD some of the fun and exciting companionship that his marriage does not provide, and since I am a low drama person by nature, that’s never an issue.

    As for the “karmic” thing, men have taken mistresses since the beginning of time, and I think there’s a reason for that. My hope is that the role I play in a man’s life is positive and that includes his marriage, if this makes any sense. I stay away from men who are unhappily married, or contemplating leaving their wives.

    Aside from that, my “favorite” type is someone who has experience with these relationships and knows what it’s all about. (my own recent experiences have confirmed this!)

    Last night I had a second meet with someone who meets all of the above, and then some. He’s a fascinating man and I had a really great time! Most importantly, the human connection was really there. I really like him and I believe he feels the same about me. He has been kind enough to broach all of the “uncomfortable” topics and be very honest and forthright, and I can’t even begin to say how much I appreciate this. I look forward to seeing where this goes. :)

  241. Bela says:

    Good luck to you, Sunny! It almost sounds like the feeling of being desired and pursued is even better than the gift. Love it :)

    <3

  242. sunnyfunnylane says:

    @Midwest SB You are so right a real gentleman in every sense of the word.. I woke up this morning to a sweet little email expressing his delight over the day spent together.. and to my amazement questions about a proposed arrangement in detail.. what he want expects.. what he is willing to do and offer. And attached to the email was a link and confirmation number for this card he had given me.. a refillable gift card and to my astonishment one thousand dollars was loaded on there.. simply as a thank you gift for time spent.. and we have not slept together yet. I will still meet with the other Pot as it is already scheduled and he knows this. But I feel so good about this one.. so it makes having to do all that weeding and dealing with a few duds.. worth it and helps me to appreciate the potential all the more.

  243. Bela says:

    lol I’m Bela and am also an addict.

  244. LASB says:

    As an SA side note, I finally logged into my account after months of inactivity. I wanted to see who some of the newer people on this blog were so I clicked on your profiles. After logging in, I started getting emails. I had to laugh that it’s still all the same jerks writing me, forgetting that they had written me already.

    LACB – I didn’t come on here to announce myself as different from you, just a coincidence. I was mildly entertained that the day I happened to look, I was being mentioned. Anyhow, glad the sugar world seems to be working out for you.

  245. A SB says:

    Question for everyone real quick: I’m due for a second meet up with a pot SB we’ve got the time down, but not the place. He asked me “what I’d like to do and have no idea what would be a good plan or suggestion, since we’re still new to each other. What do you guys think is an appropriate suggestion from me?

  246. LASB says:

    Hey friends! Ok, here’s the update. BGBF, (my accidental BF) and I are still together. We are getting along quite well, especially now that I’ve trained him to be the perfect submissive gentleman. He likes making improvements to my loft and he does all my laundry too. We’ve traveled quite a bit together, usually when he has business out of town. No allowance, but he’s been very generous with me, taking me shopping and also bringing home various gifts, especially after we get into disputes. We also revamped his entire wardrobe, shoes and all. Sometimes it seems that his favorite part of going out at night is the getting ready part. I’d been out of the country for a while, and when I came back, my laundry was done, my paychecks had been deposited, my mail was in a neat stack, and my bed was made. (I never make it.)

    The update on the wife is that she moved across the country and they are separated, but neither has yet to file for divorce. 80% of our relationship is not affected by him not filing yet–we are together most nights after work and most weekends. He doesn’t have to answer to her anymore. He told her a while back that he wanted a sabbatical from the marriage and when she was moving he told her that anything she doesn’t take with her, he would throw in the trash. (Harsh, right?!!)

    The 20% that does affect us is subtle, but it’s there in the sense that we carry around a lie that keeps our lives separate to some extent. For instance, neither of us have told our families anything. He wants to meet my family and more of my friends, but I’m not letting him until he at least files. Also I told him, “After you introduce me to your mom, I will introduce you to mine.” But ok, I’ll admit, the commitment-phobe in me sort of likes the boundaries resulting from his inability to file.

  247. Darnell says:

    I think LACB is smart. However, being and graduating from college these days doesn’t necessarily translate to one being well-rounded, smart (both street and book smarts). I just hope she realizes she has a very nice arrangement form the financial aspect of it.

    How do you guys handle dating multiple SDs or SBs? Is this something you would ask about?

  248. BrownEyedGal says:

    I’m BrownEyedGal and I am a student of this blog. :)

  249. flsd says:

    Gabrielle, it’s a difficult lesson. I’m sorry you had the experience. Personally, I always suggest separate rooms and prepaid financial arrangements(as Midwest has already suggested, too). I believe it is a good benchmark to use in ensuring a potential sds degree of sincerity. A good sd will listen to your concerns and assist in making sure your first meeting/date is secure for you and safe. That includes offering separate accommodations and prepaid expenses. Even if a separate room isn’t used, it provides for more flexibility in your options-just in case you don’t hit it off. Don’t give up. Just realize that there is a wealth of experience and advice here. Questions will always receive lots of responses from a variety of perspectives..

  250. Always_Sunny says:

    flsd: I know. I guess what I should have said is that my attempt at salvaging failed so I would like input to how to prevent/reverse too.

  251. Lily says:

    I didn’t. Once exSD got bit by the bug, draaaaama & junior high school level of play ensued, and the whole thing was ruined, largely by him wanting way more than NSA; hypocritical from a married man, huh?

  252. flsd says:

    Point of clarification: The question/issue of “the slippery slope” was meant as an interesting extension of the discussion about sharing a connection. A number of personal stories have been related here about sds falling in love or vice versa, I was curious to hear if anyone had been successful in salvaging an arrangement once one partner had allowed emotions to distort their perspective. I certainly was not advocating such a position.

  253. Always_Sunny says:

    My sugar world is sad at the moment but boy was I one lucky SB for 9 months! I’ve had two married SD’s and wouldn’t have it any other way because I’ve found their schedules easier to match as well as their expectations. They both sought out the same; appreciation, attention, intimacy, and friendship.

    FLSD: To try and limit your emotions after they’ve clearly been let out doesn’t seem to go over very well as I just recently experienced. It’s really hard to go back to how you started when clearly one thought/felt more for the other.

    Also SD/SB’s, how many are you still in contact with previous arrangements? I miss my friend more than anything, is being cut completely off is just the norm?

  254. Midwest SB says:

    I’m Midwest and I’m addicted to this blog!

  255. BrownEyedGal says:

    Gabrielle ~ as I said you can get lots of help here and Midwest Sb is one of them. :)

  256. Midwest SB says:

    Afterthought – It may have been possible to have moved your flight up and leave that night rather than sleeping on the floor.

    Always have enough money to cover your expenses in instances like this. You could have paid for your own room at another hotel or paid to change/ acquire another flight. There is no need to finish the experience with this man under those circumstances.

  257. BrownEyedGal says:

    @Gabrielle ~ I’m so sorry to hear. Did’t he not give you any indication as to why he was upset? I wondered if he was trying to contact you during the day and got upset and won’t say it. what is the other bad experience? I hope that this experiences don’t discourage you to find for the right SD. analyze the situations and look for that signs that you might have missed. A lot of the SB/SD here in the blog who are experienced should be able to help you.

  258. Midwest SB says:

    Gabrielle – It is NOT normal! He’s a complete fake! To avoid, please have all your expenses prepaid and non-refundable. This includes your own room, your transportation to and from the hotel and your flights at the very minimum. All of these can be booked by either of you online. If he books everything make sure of two things…1) It is in your name 2) It cannot be refunded. Do not budge on these for your first visit.

    More importantly, there have been plenty of posts about not arranging a multiple-day stay for your first introductions. Coffee, cocktails, then if you like each other, dinner. This is a good screening process. In your case, this might have helped, but it looks like he played the gentleman until you two slept together.

    Lastly, it might be helpful to understand the cultures of the different men. This is only a little helpful as each person will be unique, but it could give you a glimpse inside his upbringing. How does his culture treat/ view women? What is their courting process? Is having a mistress/sb a cultural norm. Again, each person is unique and will have other influences in his/her life, but it is informative.

    Off to be a tourist!

  259. gabrielle says:

    So…. I think I’m going to end up taking myself off of this website. I’ve made a few really wonderful friends here, but I’ve recently had two terrible experiences. I think I’m just too naive?
    One gentleman invited me to Madrid for 2 days. We skyped, phoned, emailed beforehand, we agreed on a financial arrangement, and I felt that there was real chemistry. The first night I arrived in Madrid, and he was lovely.. charming, we had a wonderful dinner and talked. I ended up sleeping with him.
    The next day, he was in meetings all day and told me to meet him at 22h at the hotel. He had left me 100 euros in spending money, so I spent the day visiting the museums, buying stupid souvenirs for my friends. That night, he came back to the hotel and totally ignored me. He literally had me sleep on the floor, as he didn’t want to share the bed. I have NEVER been treated quite so terribly…. the only thing he managed to utter was what time my flight was, and that I shouldn’t be late for my flight.
    At 4am, I started heading out for the airport and asked him for money for a taxi… he threw a 20 euro bill in my face (the taxi, incidentally, was 35) and slammed the door. Is this normal? This can’t be? Has anyone else had terrible experiences? How do I avoid this?

  260. Midwest SB says:

    BTW – True SB is also very beautiful!

  261. Midwest SB says:

    LASB – So nice to see you back! Updates please!

    LACB – The blog is a different creature in that there may be mini-conversations within the blog topic and people do get to pick and choose what they respond to. Perhaps some posters feel like your comments were addressed and they wouldn’t add anything of value. Perhaps they haven’t been in your situation and have nothing to add, or perhaps they just choose not to answer. Don’t take it too personally.

    Michael – Outstanding adventure this weekend! The hike sounds wonderful! I’m curious about SB#1’s position with you as well….what changed?

    SpiritualBaby – this may fall on deaf hears but why would you introduce a man who would treat women poorly to your friend? I see the karma in that she is using him, but this has disaster written all over it.

    Sunny – Yay! WooHoo! He sounds like a true gentleman!

    Last night I met a true SB who is classy, confident, knows what she wants and makes no apologies! I’m sure most ladies here wish they were in her shoes! I’m so smitten :-) Thanks for a wonderful evening friend!

    Arctic SD – Yay!

    There is a lot of new sugar in the bowl lately…let’s keep the momentum going!

  262. BrownEyedGal says:

    Good Morning everyone! What a lovely Sunday.

  263. Lily says:

    LASB!!! How’s the Bill Gates BF?

  264. cleo says:

    LASB! How are you babe? how’s your accidental boyfriend? I’m so curious what’s happening with you!
    .
    Arctic SD: you’re welcome of course!

  265. sunnyfunnylane says:

    I am finally back home.. out all day with Pot.. and had an amazing day.. shopping at Apple store.. oh how I love new gadgets..lol.. a wonderful dinner and dancing which helped me to forget all the woes of life and remember how sweet sugar can really be. Chemistry big time.. but taking this slow as I have one more Pot to meet next week but in the mean time I have agreed to lunch with this one next week as well.

    After meeting so many duds it is so nice to be greeted with quality and so glad I have taken much more time to him before the meet as we were both very comfortable and a little dirty dancing never hurts.lol.

    Hope everyone has a great week.

  266. aspiring doc says:

    @cleo: take that back, tahts what sugar daddies are for. I guess we have a more vintage/casual culture here…and im glad for it

  267. aspiring doc says:

    @cleo:

    ” that’s it, if i buy expensive it’s because i’m trying to ‘look expensive’ but i wouldn’t do it with a stupid pair of jeans i can get for 70 bucks at the gap.”

    oh wow- how do u afford expensive? I dont think ive ever paid more than $100 for jeans. Infact my friend and I make our own stuff. profile picture top-handmade. :)
    hehe id look so cheap in america with my lack of labels!

  268. Dandelion Wine says:

    I love Spiritual Baby :) her posts always bring a smile to my face :)

    Darnell, well with LACB being a college student we can at least assume she is intelligent, right?

    • SD Guru says:

      @Cleo
      we aren’t children and we can police ourselves to some extent. can’t we?

      I sure hope so. This blog is a forum for mature adults and shouldn’t need a babysitter to watch over it 24/7.

      @Lily
      he’s a catch and a half and we seem to be mutually smitten… I’m very happy with the relationship

      So what were you doing in Boston? Don’t you just love IRL dating!! :)

      @flsd
      I’m wondering if anyone has input on how to manage a situation where emotions are heading out of line… ? Has anyone tried to re-direct the emotions of a partner who is perhaps becoming too attached?

      When you open the pandora’s box of emotional attachment it will be nearly impossible to close it and expect everything to go back to the way it was. The slippery slope is usually one way only.

      @Courtney
      I have so many crazy stories I would love to share with everyone, just not sure if they would be appropriate on this blog…

      Please share your stories in this blog or you could start your own blog like many SB’s have done.

      @Michael
      As my #1 and I get to know each other better, it is getting more fun.

      Glad to see you’re back in one piece. So you’re no longer considering unwinding the relationship because she didn’t “rock your world”? Or is that not as important to you now?

      ——————-

      Regarding married vs single SD’s, here’s a post I wrote two months ago.

  269. Darnell says:

    Dandelion Wine: A dear friend is always nice. However, they don’t become sugar. 😉

    I don’t want to speak for Random SB, but I think Random SB was saying that in the sugar world, with the large number of pretty SBs for every real SD, being pretty isn’t an exclusive trait. If the arrangement starts to fizzle, SDs don’t have to look too hard to find another pot pretty SB.

  270. SpiritualBaby says:

    Have you noticed any differences between married and single sugars, such as their attitude, expectations, and length of the relationship?

    I have only been involved with single men, but I am about to switch over. I had the time of my life with a real sweetheart on Tuesday, and we are having our second date in a couple of weeks. I kind of got the vibe that he is married. It really is of no concern to me, but the way he pampered and spoiled me was freakin’ out of this world.

    What is your favorite ‘type’ of sugar daddy or sugar baby?

    My favorite type is the kind I just met. I do not know if he is single or married, but he is my favorite because he did not pull out any stops. Our first date probably ran him close to $3000! I’m serious! He really swept me off my feet.

    How is your sugar dating going?

    Life is great! I am really feeling it with this new sweetheart. My present moment is the best ever.

    That other “sugardaddy” I had (the white trash john) is back in my life, completely on my terms. He had told me that he was looking to help out a nursing student – he believes that all women should be nurses, and nothing else. I sent him a text. It said – I met the nursing student of your dreams!

    I have a friend who needs a few grand, so I gave her number to him. She is playing him quite sweetly and I love it! They haven’t had their first date, but they met for a minute and he already gave her $100 (to pay her phone bill).

    She’s going to get $400 for each date, plus gifts as long as she pretends that she is in nursing school. This is hilarious!

    I met his ex-wife. She’s a very lovely lady. I think I’m going to have to believe her side of the story. Yes, it is very uncool for a wife to hold out on sex for years, but that does not justify him trying to kill her for it, you know?

    Back to my future date – I was at Spencer’s today and I saw the cutest T-shirt. I think I am going to buy it to wear when the time comes for me to spend the night. It’s a little girl’s t-shirt, but it will look really cute stretched over my B-cups. It said: BOYS ARE ASSHOLES, except for my daddy because he buys me things.

  271. LACollegebaby says:

    @Random Sb, 5k/month allowance huh? Being that you feel you are not “entitled” to much, I find this hard to believe.

  272. aspiring doc says:

    (i should be studying! sigh) oh michael u have so much to learn 😛 noone wears pastels here :P/

    what do they say about kiwi boys?

  273. Michael Alleycat says:

    A-doc – paisley? Or a lovely pastel? Would that work?

    You know what they say about Kiwi boys …

  274. aspiring doc says:

    @ michael: PS all men in new zealand wear print shirts : I suggest you find yourself one before you come here 😉

  275. LACollegebaby says:

    Well, technically I am LACB, not LASB. The college thing should be an obvious way to distinguish us two. LOL but I had no idea there was such a similar ID on here.

    Anyway, so I didn’t read all of the comments left about or in reference to me, but I like how everyone on this blog picks and chooses what they want to respond to, usually responding to things that only “prove” their point, ignoring all other details…very interesting.

    For the person who said, “hopefully she stays” in reference to myself, after the judgements made about me…well a few opinions do not run me away, and as “young” as everyone says I am, or immature, I think I handle criticism a lot better than many on this blog, as evident from many of the discussions both here, and in older blogs.

  276. Michael Alleycat says:

    BEG. Exactly. 😉

  277. BrownEyedGal says:

    Arctic ~ just like Jeniffer Aniston in the movie ‘Friends with money’. Are you going to require her to wear the ‘uniform’? He he he she would be……very sexy maid! hmmm :)

    ~Michael – nothing ever changes, boys will always be boys :)

  278. BrownEyedGal – nah, I’m just a dude, still enjoying himself, even after all these years.

    What’s that phrase? Plus ça change, plus c’est la même chose?

    It’s still fun though.

  279. ARCTIC SD says:

    Browneyed – thanks. SB is a daily jogger so no problem with the gourmet food. More fun cooking for 2 plus she plays a great clean up helper. If things do not pan out in the short term, might hire her as the maid?

  280. BrownEyedGal says:

    Arctic SD ~ Congratulations! I’m happy for you. just don’t make her gain weight with your gourmet food :) and keep us posted with your sugar world adventure.

    Michael ~ off you go lover boy! Oh yah I also imagine you to be this Casanova when you speak about your SB#1,2,3 ++

    Aspiring Doc ~ it’s good to know that not all relationship end badly in the sugar world.

    BiBaby ~ right back at you! let’s think happy thoughts :)

  281. LASB says:

    Hey Sugars! Just dropping by to say hello! Lurking today after being gone for a very long time. I love those sugar lips at the top of this blog. Anyhow, glad to see some familiar names and some new ones too. Hope everyone is having a great weekend!

  282. aspiring doc says:

    @ Michael

    No it was acutally a book — a real one ;). Ive never attributed print dresses (just as a note its a top) to kiwi’s but okay. Im actually English as a point of note….but more or less kiwi

    Browneyedgirl

    Thankyou! thats kind of you. He was GREAT- 6months of GREAT- but he said he loved me and hes married. It was a bit tricky. But basicaly weve elimintated the intimacy and money and still talk from time-time.
    So its not an arranmgenet but still nice to have social networks open.
    He gave me an awesome reference for a internship this summer and last weekend i ended up going to a gig with him and helping him close some deals.

  283. Bicentennial Baby says:

    @BrownEyedSugarGirl,

    sending you good thoughts too my friend, my pot is also 15 years older!! :)

  284. ARCTIC SD says:

    Just a note to thank all those who provided excellent tips and advices, Guru, Cleo, Mid west, Brown eye and a few who I may have forgotten, I am now officially swimming in the sugar bowl. Without your help, I would be still trudging, muddling, stumbling and who knows what through the sugar mine field.

  285. BrownEyedGal says:

    BiBaby good luck to you too!

  286. A-Doc – hmmmm looks like the NZ phone book to me. And that summer print dress? Very Kiwi. 😉

    Off to see my #1. See you all tomorrow!

  287. BrownEyedGal says:

    Hey aspiring doc great photo and you are going to be a very attractive doctor indeed. You are lucky to have a very sympathetic ex SD. Why are you guys not together anymore since you seemed to get along well? I must have missed the story in the blog.

  288. BrownEyedGal says:

    I prefer married man but because I have a full time job and kid, I find it hard to schedule day meets. So I am going for older divorced/separated with kids – similar to my situation.

    I just met a pot who is 15 years older and he is very understanding of my situation. He asked me to go to TIFF today but it’s not my weekend off :( so we are going to meet for dinner next week when I am available. He is also taking me to this expensive French restaurant. We already spoke over the phone and he is going to call me again tomorrow. So I was reading the previous blog to get tips on how to discuss allowance (plenty of tips there thank goodness it was the topic of discussions). If I can somehow get that started before the meet that way it won’t be awkward discussing it face to face. Of course I will wait for the cue before discussing it. if it won’t come up then I will wait for him to open it up. I’m crossing my fingers because he seemed really nice and very polite.

  289. aspiring doc says:

    haha that is my prototypical photo :). book in hand,

  290. aspiring doc says:

    hey michael- no, no money- did u read the story about the coin and the month. Ill link my blog to my name and u can read it :) might be easier.

    I dont know what company it is. It executive for a company in wellington- so its a little vague..
    I told my ex sugar daddy- and he thinks its strange too. He told me hed pay for someone to scare him if I wanted (ooooo lol im no that revengeful!)

  291. A-Doc – nice new photo. 😉

  292. Hey A-doc – has the guy come through with $$ yet, or still spinning the story?

    Someone mentioned that if he works for public company, their problems should be in the papers. Have you google’d him and the company, and their problems?

  293. aspiring doc says:

    this is my profile incase anyone has advice :)

  294. aspiring doc says:

    *not monetry help mind you but advice and reference wise

  295. aspiring doc says:

    @ all and SD GURU

    yes I hope so too but it cant hurt to just see what happens. I dont have to stop searching for a real SD even if he does come through with cash.

    Married men: even if I get bad karma, its just easier- they are more reliable from what i can tell. Granted ive had just one SD- but he was so generous and trusting. The level of trust we had wa mindblowing.
    I knew where he worked, where he lived etc and viceversa.
    And he still helps me where i need it despite the fact its no longer an arranmgent.

  296. Bicentennial Baby says:

    I definitely prefer married SD’s…I am married myself and I don’t WANT an attachment…I want fun, intimacy, some shopping and definitely an allowance but NOT a relationship that exceeds anything other than a wonderful friend with benefits.

    At the end of the day, I want my SD to go home and be AWESOME to his wife, content, calm, happy…if he DOES think of me when with him, it’s my sincere desire he treats her with love and my involvement helps him STAY with her and be less sensitive to whatever lack in their marriage has caused him to seek company with me. I insist on being safe because with married SD’s we’re bringing an innocent party along…so my mind is that I must bring good experiences, a lack of drama and an understanding ear to our sugar relationship. I offer him all the things my own husband enjoys–great sex, a sense of adventure, a caring ear. In turn, my SD will hopefully be wildly happy with me and we can ALL be happier–it’s just good karma that way. :)

    Wish me luck, 1st meet tomorrow with a married allowance SD..he seems so sweet and persistently emailed me while I was seeing my gift SD who poofed. So maybe he was right and he IS the better choice…we’ll see! Looking forward to meeting him, a little bit kinder and wiser this time ’round as an SB…

  297. Thanks BrownEyedGal – and yes I am 49, and have been for 3 or 4 years now! :-)

  298. To answer the questions:
    “Have you noticed any differences between married and single sugars, such as their attitude, expectations, and length of the relationship?”
    I have not spent any time with married SBs, just not my thing.

    “What is your favorite ‘type’ of sugar daddy or sugar baby?” My favourite type of SB is one who knows exactly why she is in the sugar world, and is happy to discuss and agree to the rules of engagement (for want of a better phrase). I have found that young women have a more romantic view of sugar dating, a la “Pretty Woman”, which I don’t find that compelling. Others have a more practical view of sugar dating.

    “How is your sugar dating going?” Pretty good. As my #1 and I get to know each other better, it is getting more fun. We both have kids so juggling for time is a bit tricky sometimes. She understands the dynamic of the relationship pretty well, so there is no stress there. And we enjoy talking to each other.

    I was concerned that she was getting attached and dependent, but I think that the chance of that has lessened somewhat. It is the classic “she has her life, I have mine, and we have ours together” type of situation. It is quite drama free, and no aggravation. She is very thankful for our relationship, and says so often. It is always good to be appreciated.

    For her, she feels that the relationship is a bit of a refuge from her world – with me, she can get away from her life, work, her son, and have a great time for a while. Same for me – it is an escape from normal humdrum.

  299. BrownEyedGal says:

    Welcome back Alleycat …. every time I read your adventures, I’m imagining a 28 year old young man and not 49 (+).

    BTW I have a pot from UK who is arriving tomorrow in my town for business and he set aside a day to hangout with me on Tuesday. We’ve been chatting for over 2 weeks and we’ll finally going to meet. Hmmm I can find out if he is one of those UK SD that Courtney speaks about especially the kinky part :)

  300. Ivory SB says:

    Courtney- You say your aggressive in contacting if someone intrigues you? What do you say in your initial email? Just curious since I am hesitant to initiate contact. :)

  301. BrownEyedGal says:

    Wow Courtney you are like a celebrity SB now. Glad you can join the blog. There are a lot of us newbies here who would benefit from your experiences. I love your photo btw.

  302. Courtney says:

    Every woman has something to offer in this world no matter what their age, For me, an intelligent and open mind is the sexiest thing you could have. As far as responses, I believe it has a lot to do with how much you put into it as well, I am quite aggressive and if I see someone who intrigues me I contact them straight away!

    And I appreciate your kind words…

    Courtney

  303. I’m baaaack…

    Grand Canyon stroll.

    Day 1 – 25 miles, down 4700 ft, up 5700 ft, and 105 degrees as we crossed the bottom of the canyon, 4 hours across in the middle of the day. 12 hours total, and trashed my knees.

    Day 2 – it was going to be hotter, and just as tough a walk. I caught the shuttle back.

    Sometimes you just have to pick your battles…..

    Will be calling my SB to come on over tonight and give me a massage…

  304. Ivory SB says:

    You are beautiful! For those of us that are in there 30’s do you have any thoughts on how to get more responses? I don’t have pic’s like that for sure! :)

  305. Courtney says:

    Forgot to paste the link to my profile!…

    Thank you guys…I’m glad you have a better understanding of what I was trying to say 😉

  306. Ivory SB says:

    Wow, Courtney! Thanks for coming on the blog and clarifying some of your thoughts. I on a personal level would love to hear more from you and your experiences. :)

  307. flsd says:

    Courtney, I think your comments expand and clarify on your approach. As you say(as we’ve all said) there is no one way to have an arrangement.

  308. Courtney says:

    Wow! I didn’t realize my interview would cause such a stir!… I was simply giving my take on a few aspects of it. I have been a member of this site for 2 years now and have met some absolutely amazing and brilliant gentlemen. I am from the US but have lived in London as well. I have had many many experiences in both the US and UK with SD’s…some good, some bad, some insane, some completely magical.

    Just to clarify, ( as someone stated earlier ) that I was a sadist & jaded, that couldn’t be further from the truth. The truth is I love the whole SB/SD relationship and everything it has to offer. However, I have a very realistic approach on the whole thing. The title of the site speaks for itself..We are people who have joined because we are seeking an arrangement, now, with that said, every couple’s “arrangement” is different. Some may be very emotional, whilst some may benefit in other ways..Neither is right or wrong, it is simply a matter of one’s opinion and what makes you comfortable. For me personally, I like the no strings attached aspect of it, I have fun and live my life to the fullest extent. I have arrangement’s with more than one SD, and they have arrangement’s with more than one SB, some people just like variety…

    Having an SD in the US and in the UK, I do see a massive difference between the two. My US SD and I go out, have dinners, take trips, laugh, cuddle etc…There is a lot of intimacy there so to speak, where as my UK SD treats our relationship very much like a business transaction(a very kinky one :), I know what his needs are and he is aware of mine, we are both satisfied with our arrangement, and whilst it may not be one of an emotional nature, that doesn’t make me an escort or jaded. It simply means that is the nature of our arrangement….simple as that.

    YES, I do like being a mistress to a married SD…No, that does not make me a bad person…For me it makes the situation more exciting, risky, and makes me feel a bit naughty! I am happy to give them what they are not getting from their wives…

    My personal experiences with single SD’s (this is from MY experiences, NOT generally speaking) is that they want a full blown relationship with me. At this point in my life,that is not something I am interested in, not to say one day I won’t be, there are very few that I’ve come in contact with that don’t eventually want a relationship…and that’s just my experience.

    I’m also not one to beat around the bush or trick someone into an arrangement under false pretenses, unfortunately there are a lot of people out there who do, so I think it always best to trust your intuition and be safe!

    I have so many crazy stories I would love to share with everyone, just not sure if they would be appropriate on this blog…anyways, that’s my 2 cents..

    Have a fabulous day!

    Courtney

  309. BrownEyedGal says:

    Ok finally caught up….I’m just too worn out joining in the conversation. The previous blog was a heavy one…. but GOOD topics… thanks An SD for instigating it….and thanks Ms Taken for your sound advise…. see you all later!

  310. Princess_spider says:

    Good to see some feedback through the blog from a fellow UK SB, albeit now in another country! I often pop by to read the blogs but as I only seem to see messages from you lovely guys over the water I have yet to comment myself.

    I’ve experienced a few SD’s now based in the UK and also an amazing Canadian SD who was on business in my hometown. I do think that us Brits may be more open but possibly more open to discuss things, maybe not hiding behind a “front” so to speak…

    Referring to the choices between married and single SD’s I feel a sense of security with an attached SD as I am not seeking a full time partner, but I’ve often found the single SD’s to be so married to their work that they are in fact the safer option!

    I will continue to read the blogs and may take a little more time out to contribute, I think it may be an interesting experience!

  311. Dandelion Wine says:

    Cleo, email me

  312. Ivory SB says:

    Does anyone have any info on SFSB? I think she is in my area and would like to know if she has screened some so I don’t have to weed so much! LOL!

  313. cleo says:

    so, i’m bringing a teacher in to do a workshop and i have enough participants to pay her, her per diem and her airfare but her hotel is killing me.

    does anyone have marriott points they are willing to donate? there’s also a hyatt around here…

    *Sigh*

    so lame

  314. cleo says:

    SdinLA: love to, but again, who will sponsor me?

    i don’t have the 100k (?) required to start a business so i need to get a job, not a lot of nafta in pilates.

    really, i’d move to nyc in a SECOND if i could figure out how

  315. BrownEyedGal says:

    ooh this is not fair I am still reading the previous blog and didn’t even notice we have a new blog…..I can’t keep up :)

    Anyway hello and see you later….

  316. SDinLA says:

    Lily: Given the culture over there, it does seem like you found a good guy. The mistake you made was to offer something just because you thought it was the “classy” thing to do. I *never* offer something that I am not 100% comfortable doing- even more so with friends, when it involves money you’d better be damned sure you are not going to be disgruntled if they accept your offer of largesse.

    It sounds like your adjustment issues are more related to the cultural issues. I have never let a woman- platonic friend, SB, GF, wife or relative- pay for something except in the rare circumstances that they outsmarted me to get the check/bill of sale first. I have friends who are just as “old fashioned” as I am on the issue, and not just in the States, so I don’t think that kind of treatment is restricted to the Sugar World.

    Cleo: I was just commenting that given your lack of success finding a SD in Toronto, given the factors you discussed, that perhaps you just need to move to a city where the men might appreciate your assets more.

  317. cleo says:

    nice one FL-SD (as usual)

  318. cleo says:

    nygent: i think it’s pretty clear that a huge percentage of sb’s aren’t going to upgrade. allowing an sd the option of letting an sb knows she’s been favourited is to the paying member’s benefit in some ways far more than to the unpaying one

    but either way, the changes are good so far :)

  319. flsd says:

    Lily: Maybe approach it from the perspective of” Hey I’m trying to budget for our trip” and see where that leads…

  320. Dandelion Wine says:

    Lily, then you answered your own question – it’s a minor issue :)
    Discuss logistics of the trip when it’s closer to the trip time, and if you really like the guy – don’t play mind games, i.e. don’t offer to pay if you are attached to the outcome.
    Maybe he took it as you trying to assert your independence and didn’t want to make you feel like a pet.
    If you enjoy him being gentleman-like, express that you enjoy it, don’t “test” him.
    And to answer your question about “settling” – um, yeah :)

  321. nygent says:

    Cleo: good marketing I guess. They want to tempt you to upgrade. Of course being faved is no guarantee of success, I’m not sure I’ve even met more than a couple pepople I faved or who faved me, it is often such a knee jerk reaction to fave someone.

  322. cleo says:

    actually Site Gods, there’s one thing i would add to the site.

    if a premium SD/M favourites an sb the sb should be able to find out. it would likely make the experience better for the premium members who are in fact paying.

    you could even make it “you are favoriting cleo, should we let her know?”

  323. cleo says:

    NyGent: if you favourite me i will get an email about it (which is cool) BUT if i go to the site and try to see who faved me it says i have to upgrade to premium. weird i know.

  324. flsd says:

    So really, there’s a common thread through many of these topics; security/safety, allowance, emotional connections… and even blog disagreements – and that seems to be the ability to communicate clearly and seek win-win solutions to the sometimes different goals. The communications skills that stand you in good stead in an IRL relationship are the same necessary to achieve a good arrangement. We need to clearly communicate our expectations in the initial meeting, first dates and then periodically throughout…
    Midwest: I agree with you on emotions… I’m wondering if anyone has input on how to manage a situation where emotions are heading out of line… ? Has anyone tried to re-direct the emotions of a partner who is perhaps becoming too attached?

  325. Lily says:

    Exit strategy? Guys, guys, we have been glued at the hip for nearly two months now, this is a minor issue. He’s a 33 year old, smart, MBA-educated, plays-guitar-in-well-known-band-in-this-area, gorgeous BF who is also showering me with more kindness & dedication than I knew possible. In other words, he’s a catch and a half and we seem to be mutually smitten. We’re together almost every day at his place or mine, or out at a restaurant or at his gig or mine…. I’m very happy with the relationship, I was just putting my tiny little whiney beef out there to share here because I thought it was relevant.

    Many of us former sought-after SBs who have been taken anywhere & everywhere & jetted around by millionaires/billionaires are likely going to go through an adjustment period when we transition back into serious relationships with non-rich men. Or are all y’all planning on settling down with a millionaire/billionaire?

    Just curious. To his credit, over 95% of the men in this country at his age would be going Dutch on absolutely everything. It’s the culture here. Doctors marry struggling lab researchers here and they go Dutch on the house, each roll of toilet paper, and everything in between. Finances *never* mingle. factor his hotness and the odds that he’d be picking up tabs when we go anywhere drops to nil. It’s not done here, and certainly not when a guy reallllly doesn’t have to. But he has always lept to each dinner check, asked me what my next drink will be before mine is finished, and when I bring him to meet up with girlfriends of mine, he doesn’t let them pay for drinks either, and brings rounds for all. He doesn’t let me carry anything that could remotely be considered heavy (a bag of groceries, whatever), he just never misses a beat when there’s half an opening to jump in & do something gentlemanly.

    Until this ‘going dutch on our hotel room’ incident, which makes me wonder if it’s because we were out of town & he hits a certain limit when it cones down to offering actual ‘trips’ to a gf. Maybe that’s just too much for even him to feel like doing, given the surrounding culture. Dunno. I only stress because we were gonna go on holiday in late autumn because he has ‘miles’ he needs to spend & I assumed he’d be usin’ ’em up on 2 tickets plus handling lodging but now I’m not so sure.

    Sorry this was so long!!!

  326. Dandelion Wine says:

    Lily, hotel room situation is icky…
    Do you have an exit strategy?

  327. nygent says:

    Cleo – I faved her which is I guess why she saw me. Not sure I understand your distinction between you get email now when faved vs. Can’t see who faved you? Maybe I’m slow today

  328. cleo says:

    lily: next time try this “sweetie it’s great that you want us to get a hotel room but i just don’t have the disposable cash to do that, can’t we get flowers and candles and go to my place instead?”

    or whatever your version of that is.

  329. Lily says:

    The pizzas were a week ago when I threw a house party for 15 friends & he ran out to get the pizzas for everyone. I totally see him letting me pay him back for that. The part that was weird was the hotel room we shared, & going Dutch. Just ain’t my bag, baby.

    Yet, I get that NYC sb is right.

  330. cleo says:

    oh nearly forgot!

    NyGent: i get email when i get favourited now, this is new as before (being blue) i never knew who viewed OR who favourited me. i like this, it’s already led to a great series of emails because i favourited someone back. makes me think premium might have been worth it.

    i can now search by nickname, number and “who is near me” but i still can’t see who favorites me or views me and i can’t do the advanced searches (the one with age/height/income/etc) or ‘who’s online’

    so no, i can’t tell if you viewed me, she must have seen you in the recent logins and, since you’re cute, clicked on you.

  331. cleo says:

    dandelion wine: that’s it, if i buy expensive it’s because i’m trying to ‘look expensive’ but i wouldn’t do it with a stupid pair of jeans i can get for 70 bucks at the gap.

    i buy unique and signature pieces to go with my ‘cheap clothes’ and i try to buy good accessories. and i know you have to ‘look expensive’ or it doesn’t work. least not in a town full of image conscious people.

    not designer by the way, unique. i get more stuff like that at festivals and craft shows than anything
    .
    AN SD: lily doesn’t link her profile anymore, care to tell us who you were before? perhaps a gentler tone in your comments?

    there is no call to insult ladies who discuss their issues here. and i am not referring specifically to lily at all, you’ve kind of done it to a few of us
    .
    lily: not so gentle yourself babe… the comments he quoted weren’t so sugary and you’re usually nicer than that.
    .
    as for the blog gods? i would appreciate if they did NOT filter out things at the random whims of the bloggers. actual flaming and trolling? for sure.

    a gentle or not so gentle disagreement? leave it alone. we aren’t children and we can police ourselves to some extent.

    can’t we?

  332. Dandelion Wine says:

    Lily, hotel room for you and your friends, or for you and him? If the second, that doesn’t seem like a good dynamic…

  333. Dandelion Wine says:

    SD guru, but wouldn’t you agree that women who “must have” whatever designer label aren’t the only subset of “luxury goods” target demographic?
    There’s a big difference between a girl that pays $700 for skin-tight Roberto Cavalli jeans to wear to a club and a girl that invests into an Armani suit to wear to interviews/board meetings/presentations, etc

  334. NYC SB says:

    Lily – why are you shocked? He pays all the time, he is not an sd, its ok to offer and be ok with paying every once in a while … its traditional dating after all

  335. Dandelion Wine says:

    Darnell, of course the perfect package has looks, brains, zero drama, and a charming personality. And all of that without the looks (attraction/desire/whatever you want to call it) amounts to a “dear friend” :)
    None of us know anything about LACB (BTW, sorry Cleo, didn’t realize LASB moniker was already taken) or the specifics of her situation,
    So why did Random SB immediately assume
    LACB only got looks going for her and.started emphasizing the unimportance of said looks?
    Maybe LACB’s SD is actually attracted to her brains and sweet agreeable personality? (not bursting into tears of happiness upon receiving a gift that hardly had a lot of thought attached to it does NOT make her ungrateful or unpleasant to be around)

  336. Sugar SB says:

    @flsd
    A true Gentleman

    @Midwest SB
    I agree with your views, always

    I would think that being negative on this blog should be taken off. This is a place to share, get advice, and talk to our fellow sugars. It takes courage to stand up and speak, it also takes much courage to sit down and listen. We are on a public blog, it should be easier to refrain from typing out “mud” Just my 2 cents

  337. Lily says:

    Midwest – I think that’s exactly what separates the ‘calibur’ of men we have been blessed with socializing with — their treatment of others, which is what I meant by ‘red carpet treatment.’ I love old school manners!

  338. An SD says:

    Midwest is right, I should not address Lily whatsoever. However, I would appreciate if those running the blog would delete any comment she makes referencing me directly or indirectly.

  339. Midwest SB says:

    Lily – I can’t imagine going back to traditional dating after sugar! It’s not just about the red carpet treatment, it’s more about sharing time with a different caliber of man. The man who truly wins my heart now has a high standard to meet!

    FLSD- It’s a delicate balance. Just like the allowance and safety discussions, you have to be clear where to draw the line without taking the fun out of it. As I’ve said before our emotions aren’t driven by logic, regardless of our intentions.

  340. Midwest SB says:

    It would be nice to see less mudslinging and more productive conversations occur here. Taking it offline was the right suggestion. Stopping it altogether would be even better.

    Lily- I didn’t realize SA and SM were all the same men…explains so much!

    NYGent – I’m no longer premium and I cannot use the “Who’s viewed me” features.

  341. flsd says:

    Re Blog question:
    @Midwest: I agree. For me, there has to be a connection on more than a physical level. The arrangement needs to be a multiple-faceted experience that rewards both parties in more than the primary areas. I think that’s what makes the search more complicated.

    Of course, there is danger in the emotional “connectedness”: it’s a more rewarding experience if there’s a shared connection – as long as both parties understand NOT to step onto the slippery slope….

    It’s a matter of degree, I guess… but requires a both parties to be self aware and communicate well and clearly.

  342. NYGent says:

    or maybe the difference now is that non-premium members can see if they’ve been favorited, but not necessarily all views? The whole thing’s a little confusing.

  343. NYGent says:

    Technical question for the SBs: under the new features, are you able to now see people who viewed you, even if you’re not a premium member? Reason I ask is I viewed a blue member and she viewed me back. Another change seems to be that each time I get viewed, even if by the same person, it shows up, whereas in past I believe the system only registered the first view and not any after that. Have others found that change to be in place as well?

  344. Midwest SB says:

    Lily- I see. Since you’ve decided you’re willing to explore IRL relationships again, perhaps Seeking Millionaire would be a good compromise.

  345. NYGent says:

    Courtney says: “but here, in the US, they want to cuddle and talk.”

    I plead guilty. To me without any emotional content the SA experience just isn’t worth it. Doesn’t mean we have to be like high school kids texting and calling constantly, and doesn’t have to be “true love.” It is, after all, NSA at least in theory. But if the SB just wants to get the hell out of there after fulfilling what she views as her mutual “obligation,” then it starts to partake of escortish-ness.

  346. An SD says:

    Lily: Maybe you can counsel poor “an SD” on how to pick ‘em since he gets so many creepers & poof SBs coming out of the woodwork, who can’t bear to see him again, once the carrot of impending allowance is removed from the immediate equation.

    Lily: An SD – aren’t you too busy to go straight from “Hi, nice profile,” to “Dinner at 7:00 tomorrow night at Blagooshie’s” (made up restaurant name–y’all like it?)…? Don’t you get emails every day & *have* to screen somehow?

    Yes I do have to screen and funny enough I have discovered you did not make it through. Its a small world. :)

    With the concerns about money, there must be little or nothing going on in your sugar world. The boyfriend you wrote recently has no interest in you.

    What are you going to do about these things?

  347. Lily says:

    No, the pizza money I never really intended him to cover & almost can understand him taking the €80, but splitting a hotel room…I was surprised to hear him hint that he wasn’t planning on covering it for us, and went along with it but after I paid him the cash I realized that something feels “off” about him, with a good paying job, accepting my cash, which he knows isn’t ample. I guess because in his position I wouldn’t have, if roles were reversed. Also, it was odd because he *always* pays for what we do together in terms of food/drink/entertainment.

    I’m worried because we were planning a trio in a couple of months and now I realize he may not be covering my expenses & I’ll have to decide whether I can go or not….friggin awkward.

    At least with SDs it’s never a question of your expenses while together not being covered.

  348. Midwest SB says:

    Lily – was that a test?

  349. Midwest SB says:

    Blog questions:

    I’ve only been with single SDs and will admit that it is much easier for them to cross the line from sugar to wanting a relationship. I’m not in that place right now and it can become very awkward. I’m a genuinely nice person and the last thing I want to do is break someone’s heart over sugar.

    I’ve only heard about the married gents second-hand…according to SD Guru’s blog, it’s just as easy for a married man to fall in love with his sugar. What we all have to keep in mind is that you’re falling in love with the lady who leaves her drama at home, focuses on you when you’re together and makes sure you part a happy man. It’s genuine sugar, but not basis for a real relationship. The divorce rate would be much lower if all relationships were that way :-)

    As for Courtney – she is brash, but perhaps it’s the UK culture. I’m not familiar with their ways. She does not seem to be the typical SB and even seems a bit jaded.

  350. Lily says:

    Regular dating is tough sometimes!
    I’d say my BF spends easily around a thousand per month dating me, although I’m guessing. But for a party I threw, at my behest he picked up 80€ worth of pizza for my pals, and last night he booked a hotel room for us. I gave him the cash last night for half the room + the pizza money and he actually accepted it. Let me give him cash. I thought my offering to reimburse him was classy but him taking it was f-ed up. I just can’t imagine why he didn’t insist it was silly & didn’t need to be reimbursed. I’m not sure I like going Dutch on anything in a courtship. :/

  351. Midwest SB says:

    From the previous blog:
    Ms. Taken – Excellent, amazing post! She’s right ladies…it’ up to us to be safe and not tolerate poor behavior. NYC, myself and many of the men have given you all the advice about these men and many SBs continue to end up in precarious situations. If you’re compromising your safety because you’re anxious to meet a sugar daddy, are you willing to accept the consequences?

    Sugar is sweet….let’s keep it that way!

    On another note…I may never come home! My sugar was soooooooo showing last night and I had a ball! Didn’t kiss a single guy though! Ms. Taken, I met your future SD! Sorry for the randomness of my chardonnay post last night :-)

  352. flsd says:

    Screening is key. Over time, I think you develop a good set of questions to help the process. it’s mostly based on hard won experience, but the blog can really shorten the learning curve.

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