7 years ago
Sugar Bowl Summer Party

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There are many different ways to enjoy the summer in true sugar fashion. Many college Sugar Babies put added focus to their sugar dating during summer break, finding mutually beneficial arrangements to potentially aide them during the upcoming semesters.

What: Seeking Arrangement Partya.
When: Thursday, June 24th 2010a..
Where: New York Cityabcdefaildfa...

Attention Sugar Babies: World renowned board certified plastic surgeon Dr. Lloyd D. Landsman has made an arrangement to give a breast augmentation to one Sugar Baby attendee! For more information, visit the SA Party site.

Limited edition Gold (SD) and Pink (SB) VIP cards will be given to guests of the upcoming party, which will be good for 50% off all upcoming parties.

Click here for a special sugar blog discount to the SA Party.

What’s new in your sugar life? Been sugar searching? Had any interesting dates?

What is in your summer sugar plans?

Leave a Reply

276 Responses to “Sugar Bowl Summer Party”

  1. Sweet-JasmineUK says:

    @ Sherri – glad I’m not the only one…there seem to be so many fakes out there…will try the strategy on changing my location to somewhere more central…thanks xx

  2. BalletForeign says:

    Hello lovely humans! This is my first post EVER. Do we get to see profiles? What is the difference between being registered and not registered? Have a great day all!

  3. Sasha says:

    Hey everyone. Its been several days since I ‘ve been on, but things have been pretty hectic. I see lots of things have been going on through the blog site. Ok so if anyone remembers I was interested in pursuing a guy who classified himself in the 50mil category. We finally spoke over the phone and he said that he wants to meet me asap. I’m very nervous about this because I really kind of like this guy and he is hot! How should the first meet and greet go? I want him to be putty in my hands.

  4. JSB says:

    new topic sugar fam…see you next door 😉

  5. sb-emy says:

    SD Guru: It’ll be awhile til I finish uni and find a job that will secure me financially. In terms of long term plans, the fact that i’m staying at college longer should say something about where I want to be.

  6. Rachel says:

    Lilly… glad to hear you’re doing well!

    Midwest… I’ll not be in your area :( if I ever do go out that way we need to meet up for a drink or lunch or something!

    Sherri or whomever asked about the travel… Personally, I’ve made it clear that if I’m taking time from work or traveling long distance that the time missed and cost of travel should be accounted for. If I’m taking time off work, I do expect money. If it’s not cutting into my work then a gift or money would suffice (unless it’s far travel ie not driving distance). It’s something of an acknowledgement that you are taking time away from your life to make him VERY happy.

    Well, I’m about to get ready to go teach at the gym. I’m debating whether I want to be hard on the girls tonight or give them a bit of a break :) I love my 2nd job more than my job that pays me… hmmm… I must be doing something wrong.

    I’ll be on later… Till then…

  7. TexasSugah says:

    Afternoon all,

    @Baby – Oh that was a mess. What a tacky guy. You were right to get up and walk away. I was the same way with that ass clown shrink. LOL

    @MinnSB – you’re not wrong. Do you thang girl! Really, just stay true to yourself and make sure that nothing that you do comes back to haunt you later.

    @ Lily – sounds like you guys had a great time or at least conversations. How wonderful to have sugar sisters.

    @Lady Interim – Sounds like you have a lot going on. I’m just working on things for work. How did things work out for you?

    Speaking of which, I may be up for a promotion. There are ALOT of politcs involved. I’m just trying to get my ducks in a row and paperwork in to apply. I’m favorited but.. who knows..

    Sd#1 stopped by today. This is getting out of hand. I think I’m seeing him once a week now. *shakes head*. It’s not bad but.. I had to ask him about, well remind him about what I need coming up. You know what he said, “I’ll have to talk to “Bob”. Ok.. here’s the weird story that has just unfolded here.

    I didn’t want to choose him for a SD because he’s got a regular job and I just couldn’t see how it would work. He assured me and came through so.. I didn’t think more about it. Well come to find out it’s a STRANGE story. He’s married, ok. His best friend and “business partner” is sleeping with his wife. Ok. Now it’s all out in the open. He’s still friends with the buddy but isn’t sleeping with his wife. In fact, they’re friends. All friends.. he doesn’t care for his wife anymore but doesn’t want to divorce her.
    Ok.. the buisness partner is financing.. me. Yeah. WEIRD. Partner leads one to believe they are equals in this business when they aren’t. AND the business partner friend is married but not sleeping with his wife. How does that fly? He had paralysis for years which caused ED. Since that has resolved itself, he never told his wife that he’s over the ED.

    When I found all this out, I just looked. He’s never denied me but.. WTF!
    Very nice guy and has ALWAYS given me whatever I asked for but.. WTF!!!

  8. Natali says:

    Hi all!! Some interesting posts since I have been on last. I can’t believe how clueless and rude some men are! I have only been searching for a month now and have already dealt with 6 or 7 like that myself. Where are the gentlemen?!

  9. Asya says:

    What other sites do you SDs and SBs use? Seems like some are unclear on what kind of relationships they’re after and some seem like they’re for LTRs.

  10. Lily says:

    Sorry guys!
    I can’t…. exSD is following this blog.
    But I am in a cloud of sugary hopes & dreams.
    And this past week I have come to swear a lifetime allegiance to NYC SB, as well as Mindy, babyblonde, and muse. What rock solid amazing sugar sisters I have.

  11. Michael AZ Alleycat says:

    C’mon Lily – more information please!

  12. Lily says:

    Hope everyone is doing great!
    I am!

  13. VillaCypris says:

    babygirl – sounds good.

    I think that’s wise, as I’ve seen money destroy relationships, families, friendships… people think it won’t happen to their business or relationships, but invariably it usually does. And as always, there are exceptions to my broad generalisation.

  14. VillaCypris says:

    MinnSB —-

    I’m in the twin cities …. your comment about the “arm pit of Minnesota” made me laugh. I would love to know where that is, but I know you can’t say on a public blog. Interesting, too, about the bachelors … I suppose I know a few, but most of them are “players” and not someone with whom I’d want to be… so don’t feel too much like you’re missing out by not being down here… x

  15. bellaSB says:

    @ babyblonde: Sorry you wasted even 15 minutes on that loser!!! Glad you got out of the situation before he annoyed you further. lol. I did find your post insightful, I will watch out for guys with rude tendencies!

  16. babyblonde says:

    Sherri !! LOL You just reminded me. One of the first things this guy asked me when we sat down too was “So what do you want to know about me? ” Completely out of context. Just him making a general assumption. So I laughed right at him and told him ” I don’t know, nothing yet.” Zero interest at this point.

    He hadn’t outgrown high school dating skills yet sadly. I say that because most men aren’t this bad by the time they reach 50+. It’s unusual and he still had feathered hair, bright blue eyes and a great tan, nice features. His pics he sent me were actually professionally done recently but he was in some 80’s get up with the wind blown look from the fan in the studio.

    If I’m not getting a good response from someone I will state very succinctly and as matter of fact as I can muster “This is not going to work for me” and remove myself from the situation. Even if the guy is scary, just calmly remove yourself. I figure I can always go home and freak out about it later why stir things up more in case the guy is a lunatic or reacts negatively.

    Glad you got that guy to stop bothering you. Obviously he couldn’t find anyone else, so he had time to try and give you grief. He already lied about 6 inches. Oh that just reminded me of the guy who talked sex last week about how tight he thought I was, I forgot about him. Guess I’m slacking in the weeding out process.

    Thank you for the compliment, you are very smart not to be intimidated by these guys and strong for being able to walk away. Some women have a hard time with that. They don’t know when is appropriate and sit there and worry more about leaving than not leaving. Better safe than sorry, I think, nothing wrong with stepping away to get a fresh perspective on a situation. :-)

  17. babygirl says:

    Villa
    I’m gonna update my profile soon just keep it short and simple thanks for the tip gonna put something similar on my tagline
    and I’m in the states in Pennsylvania
    If I had to choose between the 2
    I would much rather have just a business partner I dont need a mentor I already have experience in the markets been doing it daily for yrs I would love to have someone with options experience and we split profits and if its the right
    person I have a connection with then a combination of an SD and a business partner would be great though it might be hard cuz mixing business with pleasure can ruin things and make enemies out of 2 people
    I’ve seen it happen with other people
    I’ve never been there so I would be open to the idea

    Has anyone on here met an SD and went into business with him? Did you regret it or would do anything differently?
    plz share if you had this experience
    its almost 1am check back in with yall later

  18. Sherri says:

    @babyblonde ~ I had one like that about a month ago. Said he comes to town a lot on business and didn’t have much time this trip but really wanted to meet and see if we clicked. So, I agree to meet at the restaurant at his hotel for breakfast. He showed up late, then went and got his food and walked over to me. I was expecting him to come find me first and then we’d eat together. I didn’t even recognize him! His profile said 5’9” but he was really 5’3”. After taking a bite he did realize that I might be hungry and so I got something to eat. Spent the next 20 mins talking about himself. The only questing he asked me was “what else do you want to know about me?”. lol. Then he stood up from the table and had the nerve to ask me up to his hotel room. I declined and left. After that he kept sending me messages about how much $$/trips I was loosing out on by not being with him and what a big mistake it was for me not to go up to his room but that he was willing to give me another chance. After about a week, I told him never to contact me again. Luckily, he stopped after that. The toughest thing for me coming into the sugar world is having to put my foot down so often. I admire the way you handled your situation. Sometimes you just have to get up and leave.

  19. Sherri says:

    @Midwest/JSB/Viking Hybrid ~ thanks for the advice. I’m definitely going to be upfront/unapologetic about my location going forward. I’ve seen that some don’t mind. I’m with JSB in not really wanting anyone to come to me, though. I run into someone I know almost anytime I go out and prefer to maintain my privacy.

    Also, the guys who want me to commute all say there divorced, work a lot, and have small kids at home. I’d be ok with doing most of the driving if the allowance reflects that.

  20. MinnSB says:

    Hi y’all! It’s been a while since I contributed anything here!! Good to be back though.
    @Viking Hybrid: AMEN!! My location is the arm pit of Minnesota. And I have NO means of transportation to get out of this wasteland. I know how hard it can be to find a good SD. Hang in there!

    Well!

    What’s new in your sugarlife? Been sugar searching? Had any interesting dates?

    I’m having lunch tomorrow with Pot#1. As I don’t have a car (yes, yes, i know…), it makes it almost impossible to meet any pot SDs in the cities. And ladies, believe it or not, Minneapolis/St. Paul is ranked in the top 20s for rich bachelors <3. I wouldn't know! Anyways, so my pot SDs have to drive about half an hour to come see me:)

    I'm also meeting up with Pot#2 on Friday. This pot maaaay or may not be sketchy. He wanted to pick me up in his car and talk in his car… RED FLAG. So I suggested we meet in a nearby park, and go on a walk. I'm not getting in anyone's car until I KNOW they're a) NOT fake, and b) NOT a serial killer.

    Then over the weekend, I'm meeting with my SD#2, who I've recently upgraded to SD status. Although, here's the tricky thing. He told me he was in love with me… I've never been in love, but i'm pretty darn certain that I'm not in love with him. And he knows it. So that's a little bit awkward! I do appreciate his company though! He's a nice person. I just don't love him back.

    I've recently contacted SD#1, who i'd lost all contact with for about 3 weeks. And he wants to "sneak out" at some point during the night(???). He's married and has kids, but he's nice. Of course, not the richest of all SDs… but I'm pampered somewhat. Can't complain! I don't feel cheapened by what he offers, even though it is lower than what most SDs offer.

    I've been sugar searching intensely though. lol. I'm out of school and unemployed. It's a rough time for me:/ No judging.

    What is in your summer sugar plans?

    My summer sugar plan is to get the most out of my situation. If pot SDs want NSA and only plan on meeting with me once, it sure as hell better be worth it! I'm also trying to see where my limits are. I've been pushing it with allowances and such for new pot SDs. If they hesitate and dilly dally, it's their loss. I'm (usually) a nice SB to be around:) If I'm spending the same amount of time with an SD, I might as well get the most out of it, right? It's summer, and there's a lot I need/want. Is that bad? I hope not…

  21. babyblonde says:

    Had to walk out on a guy today at the restaurant. Went to meet a pot at a cafe tonight.

    First of all he was late from a business meeting and had not informed me he would be, so I get a tea, then he went to the wrong street by 10 blocks off. I told him it was probably my fault in our email, but when I met him I told him he looked nice and I showed him the email, with the correct address, so he didn’t think I gave him the wrong one. I would have felt badly if I had. He said I probably put it twice, once wrong in the email. OK!? Whatever, moving right along, we get seated and he decided not to order anything except an iced coffee and neglects to ask me if I want anything to eat or drink. I had my tea so it was like I wasn’t even there. I’m done at this point.

    His first question was “So what are you looking for?” Which I thought was kind of odd. So here is this guy in a suit and tie and no asking me how my day was or nice to meet you, or you look pretty. I told him “I want an allowance from someone very generous who is kind and “gets” who I am and treats me with respect that I feel connected with and that I don’t think he is really feeling very connected with me.” At this point I am totally just throwing it out there in the off chance things he takes a hint and turns thing around a bit. We go through this back and forth nonsense a little and then he starts talking how exciting it would be to work out with me, cause I work out a lot and asking me if working out has ever led to any fun, and I bet no other guy has ever said that to me, . I swear on my entire self help book collection, I do not let guys treat me this way and have not had anyone off the sites act this way before! This one slipped through the cracks. No biggie, I tell him “lets move the conversation over to something else” and figure out a way to get out asap. My tea is two sips away from done and I’m outta there!

    He points out that I’m not really into him. Well at least he’s showing some sign of intelligence. I kindly and gently let him know why and that I didn’t think we were a fit. Ya’ know the whole meeting at a restaurant and not offering me a thing to eat thing… He tells me “You’re being a little short sighted, of course I’m going to pay you if we do anything” Then he blames me again for not ordering and saying he did ask me. He didn’t. Even the second time the waitress came around he said to the waitress “Just one more iced coffee” and the way he said it did not include me and so she didn’t ask me. Which is fine so I can leave anyways. Most guys are so sweet from the site even if they are PJs looking for a volume discount, they have been incredible dates. I don’t have to tolerate this so I’m not going to argue with him so I told him “I’ve had enough” got up and left him there by himself.

    Total time I spent talking with this guy 15 min. 15 min that was probably a little too long to be wasting on someone who does not even buy you a drink at a cafe. At least split an appetizer with a gal if you want to show her you are interested. It’s the little things to watch out for. When something doesn’t feel right in the beginning, it’s usually because it’s not right and it’s not going to get any better. Hope someone finds this amusing and insightful. If it starts getting worse, don’t be afraid to leave. I feel great and I saved myself a bunch of time and drama. Next!

  22. Midwest SB says:

    Oops…looks like I forgot to refresh!

    Sherri – I also live in a small, midwest town 1.5 hours from the closest metro area. I haven’t gotten too much resistance about location. Two thoughts….be honest and don’t be so willing to compromise. Be honest by saying “I put x location for both privacy and to give a point of reference as I live in a small town. Don’t be so willing to compromise means that real sds aren’t going to fuss about a 45 minute drive. In fact, my first pot drove 2 hours one way on a regular basis. My second flew in from TX for a date, then left three hours later. The right men will come to you. “Next” to the rest if they can’t be gentlemen enough to visit you for a first date. The rest is up to you. My first was two hours away so sometimes I would go to him or we would take a weekend drive somewhere. My current is always traveling, so I’ve been to Vegas and Miami Beach…he’s come here twice. All this in the past month.
    All in all, you shouldn’t have to travel for a first date. Future dates, he should at the minimum help with travel and related expenses above and beyond the allowance.

    Rachel – I hope it goes perfectly! If you are in my area and need a back up, plenty have my e-mail and a few have my phone.

  23. Midwest SB says:

    Evening sugars!

    Quiet times for me and I need to get to bed early! Hope everyone is well.

    BabyBlonde – Thanks! I will get in touch soon!

    Michael, RedMaru, JSB – Thanks so much for the compliments!

    Sasha & Kristy – You’re welcome! Lots of sugar dust coming your way!

    Babygirl- How about “I’m interested in meeting a mentor on the trading floor, hedgie, etc.” It allows you to be specific without telling you know how to predict the market. I have to say, that’s a big order to fill and I hope you are right. Meanwhile, click through to NYC SB’s blog. She meets those type on a regular basis and dabbles herself. Perhaps she can help with introductions.

  24. JSB says:

    @Rachael – Stalkerazzi hahah got a good giggle out of that one! G’luck with the pot girl…such a great feeling when you are nervous and an even better feeling when the connection is great!

    @Sherri – I can totally relate to the commute thing!! I am about an hour away from Toronto but I have it listed as my location. Not only are there more pots in a major city, but I also live is a smaller town so this is another way to be discreet.

    Funny you mentioned the commute thing because I had a similar experience..basically the pot sd felt the distance would be an issue..we did not really discuss who would do the hour commute but I was not going to debate their issue either because if they were really interested they could have mentioned that they are uncomfortable coming to my area but would provide a car, gas or additional funds for the commute..I am more than willing to make a trip to Toronto if a connection is there, as I am in the area quite often. I actually have no interest in meeting in my area because it is a small town and I appreciate privacy. I think that is why travelling with an sd is something that also appeals to me. Most sds don’t have any issue with it and if they live in town they offer a car, if they are in for business they chose a location closer to the airport which is closer for me.

    @Viking Hybrid…seems like you are also going through something similiar…best of luck with the commuter

    Hello sugar fam! Where are some of the newbies to our fam? Deborah haven’t seen you for a while, hope you are still around.

  25. Lisa says:

    TexasSugah I met my two local sds on the other site. Tried Ashley, got nothing but ugly men wanting affairs and yes I got d*ck pictures and also little videos of them with a woman. I deleted my profile in less than 24 hours as I was getting dozens of lowlifes looking for freebies. And I had a friend who met someone on Ashley a couple years back (he turned out to be a metro bus driver) and she met him in a parking lot of a restaurant, he asked for some oral service, she declined, he pulled a knife on her. She never reported it as she didn’t want her husband to find out she was meeting guys (she had children).

  26. Sherri says:

    @Viking Hybrid ~ Do you ask for the cost of the commute (eg. train ticket/gas) or that plus something for the travel time spent commuting?

    And yeah, I’ve been surprised by the ones who want you to be at their beck and call. I have a great schedule and can make my own hours, but some just want to call and have you show up 30 mins later.

    Good luck with your commuter pot! I actually have one, too. He seems really sweet. We’re meeting in the middle for the 1st date, but I’ll be doing the driving after that if things work out.

  27. TexasSugah says:

    Hey y’all,

    Looks like it’s going to rain. In the summer in Houston, rain is always welcome, unless it’s in the form of a hurricane.

    So, I just emailed my Sd#2 (who I hope will move up to #1) and let him know I wanted to spend the day in the Galleria. He’s already been really generous so I don’t expect shopping but I will be doing some major hinting. LOL

    I’ve had success, of sorts, on SD.com, definitely SD4Me, Ashley Madison and finally Craigslist.

    So.. SD.com would have been ok but I wasn’t ready.. really I wasn’t.
    Sd4Me.com – I have guys interested and I could pick them up quickly but don’t really feel like it.
    Ashley (lots of dick pics) but I have a great pot from there in case I really get tired of SD#2 (which looks likely).
    and yes the dreaded CL.. that’s where I got Sd#2. He’s the brunch and let me give you money.. just cause.

    Now I’m not doing 5K.. but this month I’ll def do about 3. I’ve done 2K and just met these guys 2 weeks ago.
    They are super sweet and really care about what happens to me. We’re friends.. it’s nice. I’m very happy, if there was more of a set allowance I’d be happier but I haven’t been told no yet. LOL.. I love the extra mad money and attention.

  28. Viking Hybrid says:

    @Sherri: I’m in almost the same boat as you (2hrs from a city via train) and yes, I think that the arrangement should definitely account for that if they’re asking you to do all/most of the legwork. It’s only fair, and if they’re real SD material they won’t balk at something as basic as paying for your transportation.

    Sometimes I find that my location is a deal breaker. To me that’s a little silly; I’m not all that far away, and when I lived right in the city I was so busy that it’s not like I could have been at their beck and call anyway. I’m pretty flippant when I tell guys I’m outside the metro area, since it’s not a huge deal to ME. I’ve actually got a commuter pot on my plate right now (fingers crossed!)

    @Rachel: Stalkerazzi…LOL! I’m co-opting that. Good luck with your pot, be safe and have fun!

  29. Lisa says:

    Good evening everyone. Just got an email from an sd asking me if I like to travel and how spontaneous can I be. He has written me before. I wrote him back thanking him for his interest but told him that unlike he who is retired and free to see the world, I have to work and only get one week a year and even that has to be reserved in advance. Funny how the sds want you to have a job but still think you can just take off at moments notice and travel.

    Now back to touching up my roots

  30. bellaSB says:

    @ babyblonde

    Thank you for all the great advice! I will definitely keep that in mind as I go forward in this whole situation. You’re the best! I’m sending you an email too so you can have my addy.

    -Bella

  31. Sherri says:

    @Sweet-JasmineUK – I feel your pain! I’m thinking that location is a major problem for me, too. I live in a small town in the Midwest and there are about 3 SDs listed. Taking advice from the blog, I listed myself in the next largest city about 45 mins away (but 1.5 hrs from the wealthier side of town) and have gotten more hits (not on SA but other sites) but now it’s starting to feel like I’ve seen everyone. Tons of pay-per-play offers around here, not many wanting an ongoing arrangement.

    @everyone
    For the people who have themselves listed in other cities, do men get mad when they find out that you’re not really from there?

    I had one guy pursing me heavily but then he poofed when I told him where I was really from even though I’m willing to drive. Also, I’ve tried being elusive about my location but if they ask and I say I drove 45 mins or an hour to meet them, some have apologized and felt guilty.

    On the bright side, since I live about 2.5-3 hours from several midwest cities, some guys from other cities have asked if I can do long distance where I do all of the legwork because they’re also finding it hard to meet people locally. However, if I have to drive 3 hours each way every time to meet someone I feel like the arrangement should be a little higher to account for that. That ended up being a sticking point with my last pot who wasn’t really offering much to begin with, but then didn’t think he should have to adjust for the distance. Does anyone have any experience with these things? I’ve seen a lot about flying but what if you drive?

  32. Rachel says:

    Alright… time to share with y’all what’s in store for Rachel. I’m traveling this weekend to meet a pot. He’s legit… did all my research and made sure he was not stalkerazzi material. Yes, you may all use my word Stalkerazzi… it is a great word. I confirmed all the plans, everything in my name as I require for ALL travel.

    I haven’t been nervous about meeting a pot in a LONG time… I think this is a good thing. Last time I was nervous like this was when it was a GREAT connection. I find this man to be quite attractive, oh so smart… and witty. In fact he might be able to sass me more than I him.

    However, this IS the first time I’ll be meeting him and it’s not on my turf (like normal). So… I’m reaching out to the sugar fam to be my safety check in. Some of you have my email, those who do I trust you with my phone # too. :) EXCITED… but cautious

  33. JSB says:

    @ Guru..agreed…we need a new blog post..I wish I was the first to write for once haha

    Note: It can be very dangerous to go to the mall before a trip, but it can also be so much fun!

  34. babyblonde says:

    Bella ~ That’s great, love your profile by the way. You have a lot going for you and you are asking for a respectable amount. It has a good feel and very nice pics.

    About seeing couples, I think you will be less nervous when you get there than if you were meeting an individual man, truly. If not than it’s probably not a good fit and something you might want to stay away from in case the woman is the jealous type and not ready…but I would be surprised if that’s the case. Usually woman are so nice and tend to warm up the whole situation. Just be careful not to show a preference for one or the other. If you can remain bipartisan about this than they will probably be more comfortable with you. I’m sure they will take very good care of you maybe even a little more than excited to see you. Couples are so funny like that when they are having a great time and want to share it with someone else. . :-) In the rare chance you run across a bitter couple and they are trying to salvage the relationship with you and you sense any resentment, I wouldn’t get involved. I’ve met a lot of couples that were looking for another woman, and I’ve just find them to be very down to earth, warm, generous, highly intelligent, open minded, people to be around.

    The only concern I have is if you are set on a high monthly commitment because they have each other. But who knows, stranger things have happened. Good luck!! I hope you let me know how it works out. BabyBlonde SB @ yahoo

  35. Sweet-JasmineUK says:

    Hi from England, another new addition to the site here.

    It’s so reassuring having this place to come to for advice. I’m amazed and intrigued by this whole thing which I didn’t even know existed until last year.

    I think a lot of the reasons some of us don’t get many dates while others seem to have lots lined up, could also be location.

    In my experience on here the UK gents I have communicated with don’t seem to want a proper arrangement that is ongoing. It can be quite annoying when you waste so much time emailing etc…then when you explain what your expectations are (in the nicest possible way) and that you aren’t going to be some ‘pay as you go’ person and sleep with them on the first night, then they tend to cool off. The ladies in the US seem to be having a ball and the US gents seem to be more aware of and willing to offer the proper arrangement thing.

    Trouble is I like to know who I’m talking to and that they really can offer what they say. I have experienced someone on here who I believe now to have been a fake. It’s really important to find out as much as you can about a person’s background as they could just be anybody – pretending to be wealthy and promising you the arrangement you require – when really they are just getting a kick out of stringing you along.

    I currently have a thing going on where I have a lovely dinner date once a week, just chatting, relaxing and not full physical…it’s quite a respectful set up. Trouble is it’s also the SD;s first time in internet liaisons so he is like a kid in a sweet shop and has become addicted to it, so he is often online which says he is not taking ‘us’ seriously….however in his own way I think he appreciates what we have. However as he is still looking then I’m keeping my options open although I would prefer a mutual ongoing thing with a set allowance.

    I am, btw, older than most stereo typical sugar babes, although I’m lucky to be youthful.

    My SD is from the SD site not this one…I’m not having much luck on this one and the blog is more interesting than what’s available in England right now!!

    Thank you for this place, It is def well needed

    SJ xx

  36. bellaSB says:

    Hi all! I am new to the sugar bowl but have been reading your blog for a little while now!

    I love how supportive you all are of each other so I wanted in!

    I have only been on SA for a week and a half but so far so good! I have received a few inquiries, but I worry that my profile is too stuffy or long, etc.

    I’ve tried to modify it according to what I read in the blog 😛

    @babyblonde: I saw that you said dating a couple is a good experience, one is highly interested in me and we are supposed to meet for drinks next week! I’m nervous and don’t know what to expect so any guidance or tips would be greatly appreciated :)

    I hope to be a member of the sugar family for some time! If anybody has any advice on my profile or anything let me know! Thank you!

    -Bella 485247

  37. Viking Hybrid says:

    @Texas Sugah: You mentioned that you’ve found other sites more lucrative for you than SA. Mind sharing?

    @Everyone in NY: I hope you’re enjoying the lovely sunshine we’re finally getting!

  38. SD Guru says:

    @LadyIntim

    I believe that most SBs do go into this for a short period of time. At least that was my plan and I am doing everything to execute it. I believe that SA is only a means to an end.

    I agree that is the case for most SB’s and they don’t intend to stay in the sugar world for more than a few years. However, we have also seen SB’s who have been in the sugar world for decades and that raises the questions of what the “exit strategy” is for them, if there is one.

    In your case the goal was to focus on school and finish your degree without debt, and the fact that you were able to save for a nest egg, traveled the world, and got to experience the high life was the icing on top. That’s a text book example of a SB who knows what her goals are and when she has accomplished them. And now you’re ready to exit the sugar world and onto the next stage in your life. Congratulations!

    my future husband sd also informed me today that there will be no pre-nup. I myself worry that although his wealth is real and quiet respectable having no pre-nup may backfire in the unlikely marriage dissolution.

    As others have said, consult a lawyer!

    being divorced 3 times in the past (yes, I live life in the fast lane!), I know first hand that a pre-nup can save your butt ten fold

    Did I read that right, you have already been divorced 3 times at your young age??

    @sb-emy

    I find that it has become difficult for me to disengage from the sugar lifestyle. Before embarking on an arrangement, my goals were simple and relatively modest – but…. I don’t want to fall behind on experiencing all the wonderful things age, maturity and experience can offer, only because I am just as deserving as other women my age.

    I understand staying in the sugar world can be very tempting, and of course life is short and you’re just as deserving as anyone else in wanting to experience the best that life has to offer. I’d just like to point out that every journey has a destination, and you should think about where you’re headed and what you’d do when you get there. Since you’re a struggling student, I’d assume your goal is be to finish uni and then move on. Would you still want to be a SB then?

    @Midwest SB

    I’m 43 and just discovered the sugar world last October. I know my time is limited here, but am willing to explore the possibilities until the sugar runs out. I had to start from scratch 2 years ago and have set some lofty (and practical) sugar goals.

    You’re a late bloomer in the sugar world! :) And your situation shows that being in the sugar world can occur at different stages in life. As long as you know the reason why you’re in it and know when you have accomplished your goals, then that’s all that matters. I’ve been reading the archives and your posts have been consistently the voice of reason in the blog. Keep up the good work!

    By the way, isn’t it time for a new blog topic?

  39. VillaCypris says:

    Got it, thanks! Replied and copied NC Gent on the email… :)

  40. TexasSugah says:

    Hi all..

    Ok so I’ve been off the blog for a moment and I’m wondering…what’s all the buzz is about. I’m kinda excited though.. I hope its something fun!

    Villa Cypris – I just emailed you dear.. can you forward my email to NC Gent????

    NC Gent – If you get this before you hear from Villa… my email addy is

    la negrita 3211 @ y mail dot com

    Cali – you can use that too..

    Talk soon y’all

    TS

  41. VillaCypris says:

    Hi NC!!!

    I asked Texas Sugah to email me as well… 😉

    @babyblonde – of course I would like … will email you shortly.

    @babygirl – I’m not clear as to what you mean by you don’t want an NSA SD… sounds like you are seeking a platonic mentor, as opposed to a “no strings attached” physical relationship? I would be very clear about that in your profile, if that is, in fact, the case.

    In your heading or tag line you could say something like, “Seeking a business mentor”, or “seeking a stock market whiz” or “seeking an options trader for mentorship”… then explain in the body of your profile what it is you seek.

    I can’t recall your location… are you in the USA? or UK?

  42. NC Gent says:

    Hello All –hope all is well with everyone.

    Texas Sugah — could you please contact me if you have a chance? I think VillaCypris and Midwest SB have my email address, if you have theirs. I think VC and Midwest both posted their email addresses earlier in this blog so you could email one of them (Thanks VC and Midwest). Sorry — don’t like posting my email address — get a lot of emails from lurkers when I have done that in the past.

  43. SanDiego sb says:

    thanks soo much for the advice everyone it actually did help me alot.

    ughhhh i wish we could meet for drinks, like REAL drinks… butttttt he doesnt drink?!

    ashptpaihphatph !!

    i think at this point i just want to meet the man behind the phone after all this time.
    and your right midwest and guru i will approach with caution i hope i will be pleasantly surprised, you never know.

    One thing i can say is the reason i kinda kept the number in my phone and kept in contact was, i never found something “stable” or as stable as you can get from an arrangement and i think it was the same way with him, he never found the girl he was looking for so we just kind of kept each other around.

    but im finally checking all my bullsh*t ( sorry sugars for the language 😉 at the door and im going out on a limb, which i have before and turned out well.

  44. babygirl says:

    Hi guys
    hope all is well in sugarland
    Guru thanks for your latest posts it made me question what is the real reason I’m on here at first I thought I work so hard hardly go out in would love to be spoiled but I now realize after reading your posts and turning down 11K last week that from my profile I’m misleading anyone that’s contacting me thats interested in my profile when I mention on there I want a NSA SD
    I am now more clear on what I want
    I don’t care to find a SD I had it in the back of my mind what I want but ignored it cuz I am so busy with work what I really want is a business partner so before my subscription runs out in aweek i think
    I’m thinking to change my profile and say what is the true reason I’m on here the problem is I don’t know how to word it if I say too much then I’m almost positive I’ll get alot of emails from people who are not serious but are just curious about the proposal that is because I built a system that can time the stock market 90% of the time and what I need is an options trader who is well adversed in options trading since options is about leveraging your money you can put up less make alot more than buying the underlying stock I need to find someone asap want to make as much as possible before capital gains go up next year so that sums it up now I have no idea how to word it on my profile and before anyone says why don’t I study just study options myself I have 2 businesses and options is hard and alot to know and I do not have the time
    I tried finding someone on the yahoo google finance boards but they’re all pumpers bashers and amateurs
    so plz give me advice
    what would u do if u were in my shoes
    also if I deactivate my profile would that save the time or it still expires
    hope I got out properly what I want to say cuz I’m the worst typist in the world.
    ill check back tomorrow
    goodnight

  45. LadyIntim – love conquers all?

    I think lunch is in order – celebrate the potential new job, and the perhaps temporary withdrawl of one of the most often changed profiles on SA.com.

    Maybe Wednesday this week? I may be able to make it, but only as a special favour. Have your people call mine.

  46. babyblonde says:

    Ever have days you just wish this were threaded…well today is one of those days! I just got out of the gym after 3 hours and when I say I am beat up from the feet up I’m not joking.

    I’m sorry if I forget to respond to anyone I’m really happy I’ve met some amazing and beautiful people here in the last few days who know how to be open minded and classy, intelligent and beautiful and all of you are still sweethearts. You have renewed my faith in humanity :-) Thank you.

    Michael ~ That was hilarious! 😀 Gave me a good laugh. Thanks for mentioning my post. I’m glad it resonated with you. Have you checked out the iPhone 4 yet? Wow!! Can’t wait.

    VillaCypris ~ That bath sounds so good right now. I wold love to hear more from you if you want. BabyBlonde SB @ Yahoo . com

    Midwest ~ just read your post this second, sounds like we’ve found a good place. Write me anytime would love to connect with you.

    Michael ~ Feel free to contact me also! :-) Would love to hear from you and swap info.

    Rachel ~ Missed you too, hope to see you next time around!

    JSB ~ LOL :-) Feel free to contact me as well.

    Goodnight Sugar Family!

  47. JSB says:

    Congrats on the good news Lady!! Lets pop champagne and celebrate!!

  48. Lady Intim says:

    By the way, blog, I have officially eliminated myself from the sugar dating sites today! But I still have my two SDs and think that’s plenty for right now. Did I mention that I possibly got an actual Job today? Low 6 figures if I get it ! Fingers and toes crossed! :)

  49. Lady Intim says:

    Mindy NYC! That is so hilarious you bring this up. I actually watched that episode of Suzy Orman 2X and have it DVR’d for 14 days! By the way, the alamony that woman got was actually 8k a month and i seriously question how it was possible for her husband to get off that easily. By the way, did you happen to notice that shack of a house that she was so worried paying off? Not to be rude or anything, but I would just seriously sell it off like Suzy advised, and never look back. Anyway, i think that you have an excellent point and being divorced 3 times in the past (yes, I live life in the fast lane! ), I know first hand that a pre-nup can save your butt ten fold even if he was the biggest Boss Daddy CEO in the beginning. We want Pre-nup!!! Hi everyone! JSB, Midwest, Michael, Texas! HOlaa!!!

  50. JSB says:

    Midwest great post, thanks!

  51. Midwest SB says:

    I should clarify…when I said “I came here strictly for sugar”, I mean my original intention was to seek an allowance only. I’ve been blessed with not just an allowance, but travel, mentoring, networking and gifts. Best of all, I have met (in person and online) amazing, intelligent men and women who selflessly give of themselves for the success of others….true friends indeed! What more could a lady ask for?

    (((HUGS)))

  52. Midwest SB says:

    Evening sugars!

    SD Guru – I’m 43 and just discovered the sugar world last October. I know my time is limited here, but am willing to explore the possibilities until the sugar runs out. I had to start from scratch 2 years ago and have set some lofty (and practical) sugar goals. Through mentoring, networking, financial prowess and a little help from some special sugar sisters, I firmly believe I can achieve most, if not all, these goals. Frankly, I came here strictly for sugar, but am leaving all options open. First things first though!

    Stormcat – Welcome back. It sounds as if a little regrouping is in order. If daddy’s happy….. Frankly, I would suggest you bring your sb in and take those hikes, write some music and recharge together. If that doesn’t work, then yes…it may be time to move on. I did have a scenario where SD had to step away from the arrangement and give attention to more pressing matters. We are still great friends and talk regularly. Will it ever pick up again…I don’t know. What I do know is that for right now, I’m more goal-oriented and will entertain more permanent arrangements when I feel like the former has been accomplished. Of course, life doesn’t know my plan. :-)

    LadyI – welcome back! I say consult a lawyer and be informed. The rest is up to you. I’m so happy for you!!!

    San Diego SB – I have mixed feelings. He’s stayed in touch after you have bailed several times. Most wouldn’t. As for the meeting, Iagree with SD Guru…approach with caution AFTER you have confirmed who he is. Meet him for drinks and take it from there. Most importantly, trust your instincts.

    Some of us have additional resources at our disposal, so if you would like to know more, contact me offline. I am extremely discreet.

    I don’t put much thought into pictures. My current SD never sent a picture. Of the few pots I have met in person, I saw pics from just one or two. The rest were a pleasant surprise! I know that I am photographically challenged! Perhaps that is why I put less into pics and more into the person.

  53. Lisa says:

    Good evening everyone. Still a steaming 84 feels like 90 here. I can’t wait till fall (well November and on) for some cool weather.

  54. VillaCypris says:

    @ Lisa – yes, isn’t that funny…. some of my college mates lived in river oaks so when I think Houston I think 77019… but one guy was from Memorial Village, so 77024 it is! :)

    @ babyblonde – I’m very well, thanks. Thought of you when I took my sea salt bath with essential oils, after your posts on brain chemistry and neurotransmitters, etc. We seem to share a common interest in many things!

    @ SD GURU – You’re welcome. Sorry I cannot divulge more, but I would never betray someone’s confidence. As Falstaff said, “The better part of valor is discretion, in the which better part I have sav’d my life.”

    Flo Rida’s posts were based on many of her experiences, as well as thoughts and insight, and not all painful.

    @ ebony – you’re welcome. Hope springs eternal!

    @ rachel and michael AZ – I, too, snickered inappropriately. The curses of a dirty mind…

    @ Texas Sugah – would you be so kind as to email me at villacypris at yahoo dot com, please? I need to talk to you about something. thanks!

    hope you all are having a good evening. X

  55. Viking Hybrid says:

    Bonsoir Sugarland!

    @LadyIntim: Sounds like you’ve had the sugar life that I myself aspire to! Continuing my education and traveling are the two main reasons that I’m on SA. You just can’t get ahead making $10-15/hr; not to mention the time and energy that an education and world-exploring requires.

    As a working class belle trying to hack this insidious class system, I’m interested in personal finance and investing. Do any of you have any favorite books or websites that you’d like to share?

  56. JSB says:

    @BB I like to say when life give you lemons, grab some salt and do a shot of tequila

    @Alleycat – it’s 453066

    @LadyInt – good to see you lady!! hope you are well!

    @NYC SB – I love how blunt you are

    @Stormcat – Welcome back…my advice…write some tunes..or go on a hike, I bet it would be amazing in the mountains!!

    Hey everyone, hope your week is off to a strong start!! I am heading out for a bit but looking forward to catching up later :)

  57. creativecali says:

    @TexasSugah-Thanks for the advice. I’d love to contact you offline. I’m 30 but I tell everyone i’m 25 lol…everyone thinks I’m 22. I am possibly meeting a pot in St. Louis soon and I need advice on asking for monthly allowance. Where can I contact you at?

  58. ebonysb4u says:

    Thanks for the advice creative And Villa :) it gave me some hope for my sd search. I’m still curious about the party though. For those of you that attended the first one. Some feedback will be greatly appreciated. Thanks 😉

  59. SD Guru says:

    @Michael

    Thanks for your kind words! Thinking long and hard is what I do best! 😉

    I’m all for relaxing and having fun but I don’t think that happens by luck. I think you’d agree the great experience you’re having now with your SB wasn’t just due to luck. According to what you described about your experience in the sugar world, it took some work to find what works for you. As the saying goes, the harder you work, the luckier you get!

    @StormCat

    It’s good to see you post again! Why do you stay at your mountain place when you can’t even get the bare necessities for life such as coffee and internet? :)

    I get the feeling that she is growing tired of the arrangement, maybe wants someone more local, maybe less drama, maybe more sugar than I can do right now. All that makes me start doubting the reality of the connection that I thought I was feeling….What do you do when your SD’s life falls apart unexpectantly?

    I’m sorry to hear about the situation. Several weeks ago I had cautioned you about the emotional roller coaster in your relationship. And I recall you mentioned that you provided for all of her expenses, so I’m not sure what more sugar she would want from you. As I read the blog archives, I came upon this quote that’s appropriate to your situation: “part of the difficulty is that as soon as there is trouble in a sugar relationship, I do the same thing I do in my marriage–look for another SB.”

    I’d suggest that you ask yourself whether what you’re going through now is just another normal down cycle like before, or has something fundamentally changed in your sugar relationship? Good luck and please keep us posted.

    @VillaCypris

    Thanks for the background info about Flo Rida. When she responded to my post about “The 5 Stages of Sugar”, I got the sense that the issues she raised came from a painful personal experience. I thought instead of responding to her generically, I should read the archives and find out what she went through so I can provide a more informed response. It will take me a few days but I’ll get through the archives. I hope she will return to the blog as well.

    @CreativeCali

    The situation you described is what happens when a SB is not clear about what she’s looking for and isn’t prepared to discuss it with a pot SD. The likely outcome is that a SB settles for less than what she really wants, or worse, being taken advantage of.

    In the previous blog topic I wrote about 3 questions every newbie SB should be able to answer for herself, and the second one was:

    What would you like your SD to provide for you? (don’t say “show me the money!”)

    As the saying goes, if you don’t know what you’re looking for then you’re not likely to find it. So be honest with yourself and figure out what you really want from a SD, as well as the answers to the other two questions.

    @SanDiego SB

    Congratulations, what you have found is a phone pal which is a step up from pen pal! :) Seriously, being patient is one thing, but 7 months of talking?? It’s not like he is from across the country and takes a lot of planning to meet. And how nice of him to offer a hotel room IF you’re not comfortable with spending the night at his place… as if you’d consider spending the night at his place for a first meeting??

    If you’re apprehensive about what he really looks like and how a date at a fancy restaurant and a hotel room might work out, I’d suggest that you just meet somewhere halfway for drinks first. That way there is no pressure or expectations on either side and you can quickly determine whether there is mutual interest to proceed further.

    You might get lucky and everything will work out great, but there are just too many issues from what you described.

    @LadyIntim and sb-emy, thanks for answering my question about “exit strategy”. I’ll comment in a separate post later.

  60. Michael AZ Alleycat says:

    Of course you did, Rachel. It was all that immature snickering.

  61. Rachel says:

    Uhhhh-ohhhh… I killed the blog. :(

  62. Rachel says:

    Alleycat…. you’re right… we’re snickering. Or at least I am at both comments.

    Men can have dirty minds, but I think women’s go there more often… or maybe that’s just my girlfriends. When we have a devilish smile on our face… something nasty is going through our minds

  63. Rachel says:

    Hi all! Looks like I missed a bunch again.

    Stormcat – welcome back… good to see you, but sorry to hear about everything.

    I missed the NYC SB brunch :( Had an unexpected visitor pop up at my door. Was nice, but TOTALLY unexpected.

    My pot’s are going pretty well, had a few snags and a few people that were… not on the same page as what I am seeking. This time around, I’d say I’ve emailed with about 40 people, carried the SA email into personal email with about 20ish. Met with almost all of them, and I’ve got things narrowed down to 3 pot’s. Yes, I’m picky. BUT… I’m worth it :) Aren’t we all?!

    How is everyone else’s search going? I do love a good sugar story!

  64. Hey Babyblonde – there is only one of me, thank goodness. I sometimes post from my laptop, sometimes from my iPhone, that’s why my link is sometimes there, sometimes not.

    SDguru – BB has a point. I know that you have some great comments and I know that you have thought many of these things through at great depth (I was going to say ‘long and hard’, but I figured that everybody would start snickering. But then, ‘great depth’ ain’t much better….) and I really appreciate many of your comments, as well as the discussion it provokes. Any more bon mots, anybody?

    But I think that BB’s last point really resonated with me – I am here to relax and have fun with a gorgeous, smart, funny SB. If I started to intellectualize this with her, I wouldn’t see her for dust!!!

  65. Lisa says:

    Although I don’t have a career, I would never just quit my job and risk having to start over at minimum wage when the arrangement ended. I read somewhere that a sb should never get herself in a financial situation where she couldn’t maintain it after the arrangment ended. In other words don’t move into a 5k a month apartment if you wouldn’t be able to afford it on your own. It makes me wonder how the girl in the 20/20 clip will pay for her condo (maintainence fees can be as expensive as rent, insurance, car insurance on the mercedes, etc) when her sds are gone. When my last sd moved me, I chose an apartment in a better place that was only 100 more a month rather than the one that was 600 more because I knew I could cut out groceries,etc and save the 100 extra but there would be no way to make 600 more. In other words, don’t give up your independence for a sb relationship.
    I had a former sd that wanted me to drop everything, leave family, job, possessions and move in with him without marriage or an agreement, plus he was still married. I couldn’t do anything like that as there is way too much risk. When things went sour, I would be stranded.

    But then again my job is just a job so it’s not something that I want to discuss when i’m away from work and If I found a great guy to spend my life with, I wouldn’t look back at my job. I have no love for it, it’s just simply my paycheck and I have no love for the company.

  66. TexasSugah says:

    Hey y’all

    I didn’t read everything but I HAD to scroll down.

    EBONY and CREATIVE…. I hate to say it as a black woman but yes, black SDs are cheap as hell. Wait.. I was the one who said that. It’s True. But think.. If you recall, if you did, dating black men. Yes, there were good ones but quitea few were cheap. Expected you to go dutch.

    I have always dated white mid-50s. Did I marry that? No. Long story. But mistake. Anywhoo… Babes get off this site. The blog is great but for black women, it’s just not what’s happening.

    You’d have more luck at a Texas honky tonk. Actually I have.
    Please, don’t take it personally. You are more than welcome to connect with me off blog. I’m sure there’s some unique things we could discuss.

    There was another post about having a career and quality SDs not liking it.
    I’m in a doctors office with an iPhone so…

    My deal is I’m not quitting my job for anyone unless he was my husband. A SD could take off and leave me stuck. I didn’t get two masters and work 16 years in my field to give it up to be La Sancha. If a SD can’t appreciate that then… Next.

    Yes, I love the attention and the gifts but.. Nope.

  67. babyblonde says:

    Hi VillaCypris! How’s it going?

  68. babyblonde says:

    San Diego SB ~ What do we think? We don’t know anymore than you do.

    Guess you’ll find out when you meet him. LOL Either he is terribly disfigured, utterly special or just full of himself.

    At least you’ll be at Gordon Ramsey’s and have your own room. Just check with the front desk to make sure their is a room paid for in your name and you have all the info on this guy before going. What about covering your expenses? How do you have that worked out in case something goes terribly wrong? I’ve never done the out of town thing with anyone I didn’t already know because I have yet to find anyone willing to front me any money and I don’t expect too many really would and I’m not coming out of pocket only to get stiffed by a stranger unless you want to see the area and don’t mind a free flight worst case scenario. It would be nice if he would just come visit you this would all be much easier. I have to wonder about men that fly in girls if they are naive or lying. It’s not something I am really comfortable with yet.

  69. Lisa says:

    It’s hot over here in the 77024 area too, lol

  70. Lisa says:

    We don’t have Trader Joes’ in Texas. Yes my ac is working, they work great over here, I just have to watch it because my electric contract expires july 6 (right at the hottest time of summer) and my rate will shoot up. They didn’t offer me another 2 year fixed rate contract which sucks.

  71. VillaCypris says:

    Oh wow. You weren’t kidding! It’s 93F, feels like 102F in the 77019. Here, it’s 64F. I’m going to send YOU some cool weather! ciao babe! xx

  72. VillaCypris says:

    Oh yes, most definitely sure… :)

    speaking of peanut butter cups…. I’m out of almond butter. Trader Joe’s carries a really good kind, purely almonds. No cane sugar or palm oil or other additives. Off I go to get some! :) hope your A/C is working. X

  73. Lisa says:

    Are you sure, i’ve got plenty.

  74. VillaCypris says:

    Hi babyblonde!

    Hi Lisa – soooooooo kind of you to offer :p but no thanks!!! I don’t like scorching hot weather…. it’s starting to clear up some, so I’ll just keep the coolness…..

  75. Lisa says:

    Good afternoon

    Villa, if you are tired of the rain, i’ll happily send you some of our scorching hot weather. My reeses peanut butter cups melted on the walk home from the mall :( so now I have nothing but a chocolate mess

  76. babyblonde says:

    Stormcat~ Great to see you again! Makes me sad to hear you say that. I agree with Villa, and we all need to be reminded of this, communication is important. A lot of the Sugar Bowl is about fantasy, I hate to say it, but the slogan “Money talks” comes to mind. Keep us posted. I’m cheering for you!

  77. VillaCypris says:

    @ SD GURU –

    you asked days ago about FLO RIDA ….

    while it’s not my place to speak about her “drama” or “bitterness”… I can tell you that she is a brilliant, beautiful, accomplished woman who contributed mightily to both the blog and individuals, with very insightful, pertinent advice and anecdotes. I hope she’ll return someday!

  78. babyblonde says:

    SD Guru ~ “…it’s obviously ok for SB’s to give other SB’s advice, but when SD’s ask some tough questions and preach hard work and patience as well, their motive and credibility came under attack. ”

    This goes against my better judgement to respond to this. In the time I have been here I have not seen anyone raise any issues with any of the other SD’s. As far as work ethics go, this is a totally different animal.

    Working hard, preaching, patience, asking tough questions go against most Sugar Babies I have met in this world. Those are like Kryptonite and not in their language or skill set.

    Even SD’s they don’t really want to hear that kind of language either from us. They want us to appear easy breezy lucky and well pampered so they can feel that energy from us and not feel self conscious about being ridiculously spoiled themselves.

    I think sometimes you mean well you just think you have it all backwards sometimes and your thoughts need to be tempered with the most important components of this and that is learning to relax and have fun~!

  79. VillaCypris says:

    Greetings from rainy MN ………

    @ebony and creativecali – I’ve seen many profiles in which the man specifically mentions his desire to find a black (or latina or asian) SB… so do not give up hope! :)

    @storm cat – good to ‘see’ you again!!!

    Sorry to hear about your life in upheaval. I always trust my intuition, so if you’re sensing that your SB is growing tired of the arrangement, chances are she is… most relationships of any sort fall apart because of poor (or minimal) communication, so I’d advise that you flat out ask her what’s going on in her mind and what her current thoughts are… and make a mutual decision from there.

    xx

  80. creativecali says:

    @ebony- I thought the same at first & someone also said that blk sugar daddies (if you can find them) end up being really cheap. I found that to be true as my blk sd is only willing to part w/ about $1200/mon but my white pot will probably give much more. Try the other sites. I get much better luck at sugardaddie.com and seekingmillionaire.com. Oh & you have to be open to much older white men from what I can see.

  81. SanDiego sb says:

    hey sb’s and sd’s i have a question that, Ive been talking to a pot for 7 months by phone (yea i know 7 months lol) my reservation about meeting him is that i dont know what he looks like! we have amazing chemistry on the phone but he just doesnt want his photo floating around out there, we have made plans to meet prob 10 diff times and every time i get cold feet, but he always seems to understands and wants to try again, Im in san diego and hes in LA, works in entertainment (thats why he doesnt want his photo out there he says),british. He even calls all the time while hes traveling even over seas.

    He always sets up meetings in very public places and says that i will not be dissapointed, but you never know i always think that unattracted men are too scared to put theyre pic up because of rejection and he says thats not the case with him.

    So finalllllly we set up a date this friday at gordon ramseys restaurant in LA (hell’s kitchen show) and he said he will get me a room at a hotel if im not comfortable with staying the night at his home.

    what do you all think?

  82. babyblonde says:

    Michael ~ Alleycat? what should I call you, I think their are two AZ Michaels here.

    Sounds like you have a really awesome thing going on! I’m glad to hear. Kind of wish I could do that, but I’m in a couple of fields that are not so common and most of the guys that are SD’s are in completely different fields than I am. I have yet to meet an SD that I have much at al in common with unfortunately. We are like polar opposites and I end up being the arm candy or something very different than their world. People in my business just do not seem attracted to this type of lifestyle and/or have the kind of money to support it. And that has been consistently true for 20 yrs. I am always hoping one day I will meet people like me, I’ve kind of accepted that it’s a different world and they are both a part of me, but they clash at times. When life gives you lemons make lemonade, and I’ve found a way to integrate them. Wish I could say more here, but it’s public.. But anyways…I think it all sounds wonderful what you and her have! I’m very much interested in psychology and it’s related fields. Sounds very interesting to have such a relationship with another person.

  83. ebonysb4u says:

    I scrolled up a bit and i was reading the blog. I saw one of the sb say it feels like a curse to be a black woman on this site and i totally agree. Finally someone feels my pain!!

  84. ebonysb4u says:

    Hey,
    I would like to attend the Sugar Party on thursday. Please give me some more details on the party and what to expect for those of you that attended the one in may. :)

  85. MindyNYC says:

    Good Morning All!
    Had a fantastic day yesterday with some lovely and fabulous Sugahsis’. Good times…

    LadyInt – Personally, I am a firm believer in prenups and do not see having one as a disadvantage – when smartly negotiated. A recent (last week?) Suze Orman episode featured the same topic. There was an ex-model divorced after 24yrs of marriage. While in the marriage she lived an affluent lifestyle that included full staff, 9 horses etc totaling expenses of approx $30K a month. In her divorce settlement she was left with 1 horse, $10K a month alimony that expires in 5 yrs, and the house which still has a $7K/mth mortgage she is responsible for…Nice kick in the ass after 24yrs, eh? It’s very easy for men to hide their financial assets under the shelter of ‘business went bad’ during a divorce, but somehow pop up 2 years later with the same or better lifestyle they had during a marriage…Nothing wrong with negotiating a favourable prenup/divorce settlement while a man is in love with and wants to take care of you.
    A helpful tip for women without prenups is to store a copy of hubbys financial records every 2 years. Oh, and just as you’re able to sock away cash now, I don’t think that should change in marriage.

    I’m off to pamper my Sugar – very happy gal today! Hope everyone has a great day!

  86. Stormcat says:

    Hi there sugar- cats n kittens
    Good Morning :)
    I’ve really missed you all. I’m not even going to try and catch up with the posts.
    I’m finally staying at my mountain place but the internet isn’t installed yet and it looks like that is not going to happen for at least another week. It’s really isolated here, my closest neighbor is more than half a mile away. There isn’t even a starbucks within easy driving distance so there goes my morning routeine of getting coffee there and blogging for an hour or two.
    The other thing is that I’m so far away from my SB and the transportation between here and the city is iffy and infrequent. I get the feeling that she is growing tired of the arrangement, maybe wants someone more local, maybe less drama, maybe more sugar than I can do right now. All that makes me start doubting the reality of the connection that I thought I was feeling.
    Maybe I should reactivate my SA profile and get some pots in the pipeline, just in case everything blows apart. On the other hand, with all this IRL upheval, maybe I’d be better off just cooling my heals for a while. Join a blues band. -Or- Get a job! LOL Maybe I could go to work at SA as Stephan’s assistant. LMAO
    Any thoughts? What do you do when your SD’s life falls apart unexpectantly?

  87. sb-emy says:

    I will never be able to afford even accomodation if it weren’t for my current sd; it’s better that i’ve saved enough that I can travel independently of him as well, haha.

    Flo: Post more! We need your knowledge.

  88. sb-emy says:

    to answer your question SD Guru, I find that it has become difficult for me to disengage from the sugar lifestyle. Before embarking on an arrangement, my goals were simple and relatively modest – but now that I have racheted up a figure for a trip to Europe at the end of this year, it has occurred to me that no matter how hard I work at the short term job i currently have as a struggling uni student – the fact that there are other girls my age, in my college that have all these things, and they don’t even need half the brain cells I have – because daddy can afford them everything.

    Yes life is unfair blah blah, but it is also very, very short-lived from my experience. I don’t want to fall behind on experiencing all the wonderful things age, maturity and experience can offer, only because I am just as deserving as other women my age.

    x

  89. Michael AZ Alleycat says:

    Won’t even charge me? Brat….

  90. Michael AZ Alleycat says:

    1. Does he really have money? Have you seen evidence? I am a big believer in “trust but verify”
    2. If the money is in Canada, and the marriage falls apart, and you get a settlement against him, I do not thik that a US-based court order can gain access to Canada-based assets.
    3. He must be aware of the risk of no prenup. I am sure he is not going into this blind.
    4. Ask a lawyer.
    5. Get married in Canda? Whee the money is? See point 4.

    When is the trip with SD 1 and your family? Soon?

  91. Lady Intim says:

    Michael. I better get my buttooti-wooty to bed unless I want to be crank master tomorrow. But I need all the feedback I can get, you hear me? I need your brain power and i won’t even charge you.

  92. Lady Intim says:

    Michael, the money is in Canada, but he has a residence in the states, plus purchasing one for us to live in here….and he has business all over US as well. Thoughts?

  93. Lady Intim says:

    Haha! Michael!

  94. Michael AZ Alleycat says:

    Insomnia? Me too….

    Is his money based in USA? If the $ are out of country, and the marriage falls apart, you may not be able to find or touch the $. Just a thought.

  95. Lady Intim says:

    What do SDs think about pre-nups? my future husband sd also informed me today that there will be no pre-nup. His soon to be ex-wife is worth millions herself because of family wealth, and so they are basically just parting ways w/out touching each other’s finances. I don’t know if this is too good to be true…but maybe he just hasn’t learned the hard way. I 100% intend on marrying him for all the right reasons, with having a family being the primary objective in mind, but why isn’t he worried that I won’t potentially shred him for everything that he has. Not that I would, but he is a wise business man, so shouldn’t he at least want to take some precautions? And I myself worry that although his wealth is real and quiet respectable having no pre-nup may backfire in the unlikely marriage dissolution. Am I paranoid? Advice?

  96. Lady Intim says:

    Hola EVERYONE!! SD GURU, you asked:

    SD/SB’s enter the sugar world for various reasons, do they ever think about what their “end game” or “exit strategy” is? Some SB’s go into the sugar world because they have a particular goal in mind or because they’re at a certain stage in their life. What happens when they achieve their goals or are ready to move on to the next stage in their life? Do some SB’s consider being in the sugar world long term for many years to come?

    SD Guru, I believe that most SBs do go into this for a short period of time. At least that was my plan and I am doing everything to execute it. I believe that SA is only a means to an end. Going into it I was working 2 part-time jobs, going to school full-time, and struggling to pay off my school loans. I normally don’t believe in short cuts but at some point I realized that no matter how hard I work at my then dead-end jobs, I will never be able to focus on my studies 100 percent and receive, nevermind afford the education I so desperately wanted. And thank you, SD#1 for making sure that I don’t have to pay off my school loans until the age of 55. SO, fastforward and I have completed my degree, considering going even higher…Currently happily unemployed but over the course of the arrangment have saved a 2 year nest egg, traveled the world, and got to experience the high life without actually being born into it. So really , by now I have achieved all the goals I had when I decided to pursue the arrangement. And it just so happens that the 2nd SD I met on the site ended up being someone I genuinely fell for. I am set to end my arrangement with SD#1 (been together for 2 years) and looking forward to marrying SD#2 and starting a family. That’s my 2nd set of goals and I am going to stop seeking because I have already found everything I was after. The only hard part is ending a 2 year arrangement with a man who took amazing care of all my as well as my family’s needs. The only thing that doesn’t make me feel completely horrible is the fact that he did cheat and got caught doing it after preaching exclusivity for a year and a half.

  97. Gail says:

    Texas Sugah~ I finally went back and read previous post…Happy to hear your sugar is flowing!

    Lisa~What you shared with CuteSB, makes sense to me. Nice to see you back. I hope you had a relaxing weekend. As always wishing you sugar every day of your life : )

    NYC SB~No worries, I know you meant well.

    Back to real life for now…it’s Monday morning.

  98. creativecali says:

    Oh and I’m reading that a lot of you go to other sites. What are the best ones? Only on sm.com and sdaddie.com right now

  99. creativecali says:

    Hi All! I have been reading the blogs for the last couple weeks and find all of you quite interesting. Just wanted to post about my experience.

    First off, I wish I had read the blog before I made my 1st arrangement. I am a black/jewish/native american and I was surprised to find that someone contacted me within 24 hours. This guy was black, 33, good-looking, net worth $1-2 million. We were texting a lot and I thought he was a flake. Initially I said let’s meet b4 we make an arrangement but he insisted in knowing what I wanted so I told him to make me an offer…he proposed a meeting of once a week at $250 which I thought was really low so I said $300. I thought $1200/month not so bad b/c he said he’d be willing to give gifts (lingerie, etc) I almost decided to give up on him (he seemed to be into some kinky things & wanted to come to my house). Kind of embarrassing but was having some cash flow problems so I agreed to meet him for dinner & see if I liked him enough to let him come over. It was great he seemed like a nice guy so I invited him over. He didnt expect sex so that was a relief but still got my $300. He was really nice which I didnt expect but II was hoping we could meet again this week but he’s in Myrtle Beach

    I realized that after reading…I should have been pacing myself for a better set-up. I did want to meet someone closer to my age. LOL I’m 30 but my SA age is 25…which is fine b/c everyone thinks I’m 22. Then I went to sister-site SM.com and met a white guy that is 60 in IL. He wants to meet in St. Louis probably in about a week or so. When we talked on the phone, he asked me what I was looking for but I didnt want to come right out and say monthly allowance. I’m thinking maybe I should get to know him first. What do you think is the best way to ask for allowance? He is already offering shopping (helping me buy clothes for an upcoming photo shoot) & he’s mentioned travel? I don’t want to come off as a gold digger. This guy is definitely a better pot SD and I don’t wanna mess it up!

  100. SD Guru says:

    I hope everyone had a good weekend! The blog is full of good advice as usual. It’s interesting to see what NYC SB and Kara said about Lisa’s situation. It’s the kind of straight forward and tough talk I find lacking in this blog. In addition, Midwest SB, Gail, TexasSugah, and others also preached hard work and patience in the sugar world in response to the difficulties mentioned by newbies.

    Which makes me wonder… it’s obviously ok for SB’s to give other SB’s advice, but when SD’s ask some tough questions and preach hard work and patience as well, their motive and credibility came under attack. Maybe that’s why you can count the number of SD’s posting here on one hand. It’s not a big deal, just an observation.

    @NYC SB

    Speaking of tough talk, you wrote a scathing review of the first sa party on your blog. What advice do you have for those planning to go to the next one? In your opinion, what should sa do differently this time? Some people may have noticed that sa has upped the ante by throwing in a free boob job and offer 50% discount to future parties. This will most likely attract more people to the next party. But would it be more of the same?

    @Sasha

    One of the reasons that compelled me to join the site was the 20/20 piece on the site. The blonde girl that was featured stated that she had 4 sugar daddies and she was living this luxurious lifestyle. She made this look so easy.

    As you know, most things you see on tv are sensationalized to increase ratings and sell ads. None of the news coverage about the sugar world I’ve seen has ever covered the challenges SD/SB’s face. It’s always about how easy and glamorous sugar life is. Which may be the case for some, but certainly not for the vast majority as you can tell from this blog.

    In the previous blog topic I wrote about 3 questions every newbie SB should be able to answer for herself, and the first one was:

    Why have you chosen to pursue a sugar relationship instead of a traditional relationship? (saying I saw it on Tyra doesn’t count!)

    Seeking sugar because you saw it on tv was probably not the best reason. Be honest with yourself and find the answer to that question as well as the other two questions.

    You’ve gotten some good advice and encouragement from other SB’s, and I’d just emphasize what they have already said about patience and persistence. I hope you don’t question my motive and credibility by agreeing with them! :)

    Lastly,

    @Michael

    Your story about the mentoring aspect of sugar relationship was very inspiring. And that got me thinking about posing this question to the blog. That is, SD/SB’s enter the sugar world for various reasons, do they ever think about what their “end game” or “exit strategy” is?

    Some SB’s go into the sugar world because they have a particular goal in mind or because they’re at a certain stage in their life. What happens when they achieve their goals or are ready to move on to the next stage in their life? Do some SB’s consider being in the sugar world long term for many years to come?

    Michael, as well as things are going now, do you know if your SB has an “exit strategy” for leaving the sugar world at some point?

  101. sugarbarbie says:

    I wonder if maybe that is why a lot of sb’s are having trouble. It seems a trend that a lot of successful sb’s are already successful in their career or interests. While many sb’s are hoping to find a sd to booster their career or education….maybe that’s a turn off for many of the quality sd’s.

    I hear it many times from sb’s on here that they really don’t need the money…

    That would totally makes sense.

    While I feel I am successful in my career of marketing, I recently transitioned from offline marketing to focus on online marketing. I wonder if I was sending out the message somehow that I was a career loser?

    Don’t know but definitely will keep that in my mind.

  102. and for all those in Oz, may you have a wonderful Queens Birthday on Monday!!

  103. I specifically looked for a SB who is “smart, cute, funny, has a brain and is using said brain” – I have ended up with someone who has a Masters in Psychology, is a clinical psych, running her own business. It took a LOT of searching, but wow, worth the search.

    I have a side business creating audio CDs, podcasts etc on a variety of subjects such as relationships, business, life purpose etc and I have been looking for someone who can work me on developing more product with me, and share the profit. Almost by definition, the smart women on this site are outliers (sorry Malcolm Gladwell) and thus more open to doing things like this. My SB has the background, enthusiasm and interest in doing this.

    In addition, I have a good business (well, in the last year or so at least…) in residential real estate. I like it and have done well recently and am always happy to share. My SB is also interested in this and wants to share but I need to get to the ‘front of the line’ when the deals are being released. My SB is smart and gorgeous, and I am getting known as the “holy f***, how does he get a babe like that” guy. So I get to the front of the line. My SB gets a cut of the deals, as she wants to and does participate in deal selection. Her cut will probably exceed her allowance, most months.

    So it works well both ways. My SB and I understand each other very well, and can complement each other strengths and weaknesses. We play off each other to take advantage of opportunities that present themselves, and together we are a great combination. Plus the sex is great – always a plus!

    Like all SB / SD relationships, especially those that get more involved, it can get complex. But hey, that’s half the fun, right?

  104. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:

    Anyone still around this wonderful evening?? :)

  105. Michael AZ Alleycat says:

    Hey JSB and BB – thank you for the supportive words, I really appreciate them. JSB – do you have a profile number?

    I made a conscious decision many years ago to make sure I have a great time in whatever I do. I have come through a bunch of fairly substantial life issues, but then again, we all have a story. Mine is a bit rougher but really no different than anybody else’s. I choose to make sure that life is a kick, every day (notice that word ‘choose’).

    One moment while I switch from iPhone to laptop….

  106. babyblonde says:

    and Michael JSB is right you do sound like a really great SD! I enjoy your posts, and your joie de vivre for living!

  107. babyblonde says:

    Alleycat ~ I can only dream. My businesses are all my own. One SD paid 6 weeks of tuition for me once. I’ve never had a mentor, but I frequently mentor them.

    Funny you bring this up today. Seems to be a theme. Just yesterday an old SD, came back out of the blue & paid me an extra $500 to help him choose between website names. I own a biz in one of the fields he is interested in branding and advertising. English is his second language and not having any actual interest in my field I guess he wanted to know which would sound better.

    Personally, I find that they would much rather me remain dependent on them for as much as possible.

    I’m curious what brought that up for you Michael? Also yesterday, I was just having this conversation with another SB how business men frequently need someone to mentor them on everything from business to life in general which has led to more business for us.

    (Yes I’m talking about you! I know you are reading this lady! :-) Nice website, genius ) 😉

  108. TexasSugah says:

    Evening,

    After reading the woes of others here I had to shoot a couple of emails to my sugars.

    @ Kristy Why do I feel like it’s a curse to be black on this site??? Even though I am a beautiful black woman, I feel like no one gives me a chance…. any advice?

    Oh dear heart.. don’t be discouraged. I say that because I was in the exact same place that you were. I know how you feel but as Midwest said, don’t allow this to get you down. There is NO curse for being black. It is a blessing. Believe that.

    I have had NO, zero, zip, zilch interest from this site. I don’t think twice about it. Branch out.. there are many sugar sites on the web. I started this search in Jan. I really got serious in May because I knew that my break was coming and I would be able to cultivate a relationship with a SD. But again, not from this site. I think I just find SA very kitchy.

    You are more than welcome to contact me off blog

  109. JSB says:

    Am I crazy to have turned down an advanced allowance? My pot offered it to me so I would have some spending money for Vegas but I declined….I want to make sure we are a good fit so I declined it so that there is no pressure…ahhh

  110. JSB says:

    Michael – you sound like a really great SD, wishing you and your SB all the best in your “not-a-relationship” relationship!!

    I hope that when I find the right SD we can connect as well as the two of you seem to and work on projects together, among other things….

    Hey Sugar Fam, hope you all enjoyed your weekend!! I went on a last minute trip up north with my best friend because she is going through some hards times…played 3 rounds of golf this week and now I am getting ready for VEGAS!!! I am soooo excited, Thursday can not come soon enough!

    Met a pot sd and I am actually really excited, he is from out of town but flew in for dinner…we ended up talking for 5 hours!! The distance is going to be a challenge but I am remaining optimistic

    Germany won their game today, sorry Michael 😉 I love the World Cup…I am a bit of a sports nerd

  111. and the financial benefits from the projects are on top of the allowance.

  112. Kristy says:

    @Midwest SB-Thank you so much for the words of encouragement…. That makes me feel a lot better… xoxo have a great day!

  113. CutieSB says:

    Okay, thank you so much for all the advice – you guys are so helpful and supportive! <3

  114. Michael AZ Alleycat says:

    BB – I was curious if you or others have ever had a SD who financially mentored you, worked on projects together, invested in your business, helped you grow your business etc.

    The end result being financially greater than the allowance provided.

  115. babyblonde says:

    Alleycat ~ Have what in the past???

  116. Lisa says:

    CutieSB, never go forward in an arrangment before first getting your allowance. Where it has been said by some sds that they don’t want to pay allowance first for fear of the sb being a fake and disappearing. However one must remember that if a sd puts forth the allowance and the sb poofs, he has lost only money, and if he is really wealthy, it will a very small amount to him, however when a sb gives of herself, she can’t get her self respect back or the feeling of being used.

  117. Sherri says:

    Not having much luck on SA lately. A few looks, no emails. Things are a little better on other sites. I’ve been chatting with one guy for a while. Finally met in person. He was really fit/attractive so I started getting excited about the prospect of an arrangement, but now when we chat he seems to have ADD about firming things up. As soon as the conversation turns to anything other than a detailed account of how good looking he is he looses interest. arg!

  118. Natali says:

    So one pot is a no go. Just wanted a booty call. I wanted to be like HELLO! I am not an escort. Sigh. The others have not emailed back or called or anything. Time to keep looking I guess!

  119. RedMaru says:

    Afternoon sugars!

    @ Midwest Bravo great words of encouragement!
    I just had someone else favorite me and I cant even see who it is grrr :(

  120. Hey MidWest – great comment for Kristy!! “be the essence of beauty, with brains, goals and a drama-free life that can rock his world!”

    I would add – a dash of humour, a large splash of confidence, stir in some great conversation and life experiences and you will get what you are looking for.

    If you are leading a great life, any SD will want to be part of that. It does take time to figure this all out, it is a really different relationship dynamic, so keep on trying and you will get there. Again, keep the BS meter turned up to 11 and don’t be afraid to walk at any time.

    It took me 3-4 tries, plus a bunch of meet and greets to find the right SB and I was lucky to find her so quickly. It is great. We have developed a strong mutual respect and admiration, do all the fun things that we should be doing – resorts, dinner etc.

    Most interestingly, we are starting work on a couple of business projects together that will be fun and interesting for us to do, will further enhance the relationship (or ‘not-a-relationship’ as she calls it) and make us both some extra money. I provide mentoring, guidance, investment funds etc, and she helps me stand out in the crowd, so that I get access to extra opportunities that we both benefit from. This is turning into a great win-win situation.

    Anybody else have a situation like that? I think that maybe some of the more seasoned SBs here have.
    BabyBlonde – I sense that you may have in the past. True?
    ShoogarShoes – where are you these days, girl? I think that you have as well.
    Lily – how about you?

  121. Midwest SB says:

    Kristy – There are at least 3 amazing black sbs on the blog who are in successful arrangements, so hang in there. I always say embrace and market what makes you special! Don’t be the sb who gets mail by men who want to be with a black woman to fulfill a fantasy. Instead, be the essence of beauty, with brains, goals and a drama-free life that can rock his world! Let them know you’re serious about an arrangement and looking for more than a tryst. If you have curves, let it be known they are the sexiest curves he laid eyes on! If you are tall, tell him you have long, beautiful legs that look amazing in a bikini!

    Work it!

    Meanwhile, have patience. This takes work and a lot of screening to be successful. We’re here if you need more advice.

  122. Midwest SB says:

    Morning sugars!

    CutieSB – There are so many wannabes and men who find it challenging to see how many attractive women they can bed before they provide an allowance. On the flip side, there are some men who are still learning how this works and it could be that a discussion has to occur.

    The worst that can happen at this point is to say something to the effect of “I was a little confused…we did agree on an arrangement with an allowance, didn’t we?” and see if he comes through. If he doesn’t, consider it a learning experience.

    Babyblonde is right in that you leave yourself vulnerable and set the wrong expectations if you are intimate before the rest of the pieces are in place. I always tell people that if you decide to have sex with him, do it because you want to and not because you are expecting that it will secure an allowance.

    It will help to use some screening conversations such as:
    -Have you ever had a sb? What type of an arrangement was it? What did you like, what didn’t you like?
    – I’m new to this, can you explain how you see an arrangement working?
    – I have x,y,z goals to reach and find it hard to manage it financially, will you be able to help me both professionally and financially?
    (with men, use “will” and “would”. I’ve heard it said that if you say “can” or “could” the answer may be yes, but it doesn’t mean he “will”. I’ve used it and it works.)

    Don’t be afraid of the allowance discussion. If you want gifts and travel, say so. If you need help with school or a business venture, say so!

    Hope it helps!

  123. babyblonde says:

    CutieSB ~ Always, always, always get your allowance first honey. Now you HAVE to ask, actually I’m wondering why he hasn’t been a gentleman and offered it before. Don’t get nervous but calmly and firmly let him know you you need it today. Tell him something came up and I need you to take care of this. If he has a problem with taking care of this asap then personally I would let him go. I also wouldn’t even be making small talk with him until he pays. He probably thinks you don’t care about the money or is hoping you will forget. If you just let him get away than you are not being good to yourself. You are the only person you can really take care of you.

    Does anyone else have some more choice words to help CutieSB? This is a delicate situation and I have to start getting ready today.

    Being a Sugar Baby is not for the faint of heart, if you are feeling weak and vulnerable than do something about. Read books on assertiveness, get someone even if you have to hire them to help you become strong and solid enough to vocalize your desires in a way that creates win win situations and gets results. Going into this blindly and hoping that the guy will have your best interests in mind may lead you to be disappointed.

    Best of luck with that CutieSB let us know how it goes or if you need any more help. I wish I had time to think of better words for you but hope that helps.

  124. NYC SB says:

    Looking forward to seeing all the lovely blog SBs from NYC… watch out brunch crowd… NYC SBs on the prowl!

  125. Kristy says:

    @RedMaru ty very much

  126. RedMaru says:

    Hey sugarfam! You can tell I cant sleep being that I’m up at this time watching Fairy Oddparents and Korean horror flicks and playing Pokemon Soul Silver ha ha!

    @ babyblonde Got your email its a wealth of info thanks 😀 hugs

    @ Kristy as fellow black SB from the North living the South I understand your frustration and suggest that you check out the previous blogs. There is alot of insight from FrayedEdges, TexasSugar and other black SB’s. It certainly is a challenge but I wouldnt say a curse keep chin up

  127. CutieSB says:

    What happens when the SD gets what he wants, but never finishes his end of the deal (we agreed on an allowance)? I feel like if I ask about it i’ll be pestering him.

  128. Kristy says:

    Why do I feel like it’s a curse to be black on this site??? Even though I am a beautiful black woman, I feel like no one gives me a chance…. any advice?

  129. babyblonde says:

    RedMaru ~ I sent you an email.

    MIdwest ~ I like your post to Natali well done. Good info.

    Sasha ~ I hope I didn’t sound to negative I’ve been busy lately. Just hang in there, take a break. All it takes is one. Just don’t let all the nonsense on the site bother you. :-)

    Babygirl ~ I think I understand now. He only cut off half his head? That’s odd. I don’t blame you for doubting him and going with your gut on this one. Who needs the hassle, right? You are a few steps ahead of the game. Good luck!

  130. babyblonde says:

    Hi Sugar Family, Good news! I just saw this tonight thought it would cheer some Sugar Babies up a bit. Tried to post link but failed so this is just the first bit of it. :-)

    Millionaire Population Bounces Back to Pre-Crisis Peak
    by Robert Frank
    Friday, June 11, 2010
    provided by

    The number of millionaire households in the world has bounced back to boom-time levels, according to a new study.

    The 2010 Global Wealth Report by The Boston Consulting Group says there were 11.2 million millionaire households in the world at the end of 2009, a 14% jump from 2008. That puts the millionaire count about where it was in the good old days before the global financial crisis.

  131. Kristy says:

    I love NY. I would love to go to this event… :)

  132. Mocha-Caribbean says:

    Hi…new to the scene. Just wondering if there are any other Caribbean based sugars out there?

  133. NataliLaroux says:

    NYC~ Thanks so much. That was helpful. I am relocation I don’t know my expenses just yet… but I will remember to use that math once I do!

  134. NYC SB says:

    Hi Natali,

    We are all in it for the financial support… if we werent we would be dating broke men… there is no shame that a woman wants a financially stable man. As long as you do not compromise yourself you will be fine (example sleep with someone whom you find repulsive just for the allowance).

    My allowance rule of thumb (and no I didnt come up with this one but I learned it somewhere along the way) is: Monthly expenses + two spa treatments (or whatever indulgence item).

  135. NataliLaroux says:

    So… I have recieved a few emails from PotSD and am in my first stages of conv! Sorry got a bit excited.

    Is it bad that yeah I am in it for the $, aren’t we all in some way, but I am also in it for the life experience. As for a true, honest, gonna get married later relationship, I am not sure what I want. I look at this as a learning experience and who knows I may find that one down the road somewhere. Hope I don’t sound like a teenager :)

    I haven’t seen anyone really say anything about why they chose the allowance ammt they did. What should I take into consideration when determining. Just want to make sure I am doing things right and don’t get laughed at by my Pot!

  136. NYC SB says:

    Red – after 3 days i would casually text but continue on with the search…

    B – hahahaha thanks B … my apartment is in an awesome location… once u come to NYC we can meet and go over all about out shoes… heck you can even be my new best gay … my old best gay is in a relationship :(

  137. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:

    Happy weekend to the sugar fam!!!

  138. B says:

    oh em gee NYCSB I fucking love you. Not only could your blog get any gay man a little tingly (Im not going to deny it) but you use one of my favourite and highly used phrases – ghetto fabulous. Where ever is your apartment to say it has such an amazing view? Reading your blog makes me even more excited to return to NY. I think that you have to tell me about your shoe collection and Ill tell you about mine!

    Best,

    B

    xx

  139. RedMaru says:

    Hey NYCSB 😀

    On an SD note I do need advice though I have/or had a pot we exchanged emails and he gave me his phone number and we texted asking me my real name and I gave him and I havent heard from him that was three days ago I havent texted to not come off as desparate needy but wondering should I banish him to the world of poof just yet.

  140. VillaCypris says:

    Hi ladies –

    adding to TexasSugah’s good point above… also an issue, at least for me, has been LOCATION.

    I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve been told I am “geographically UN desireable”… even though Minneapolis is now a hub of Delta and from MSP one can fly direct to just about anywhere in the USA, plus Amsterdam, London, Paris, Tokyo…

    frustrating, to say the least….

  141. NYC SB says:

    Good morning

    Sasha – the 20/20 piece featured someone highly successful because it makes for a good story. Of course 4 SDs is just a bit nuts for me to ever have and it seems sleazy. We have had many discussions on it as it was a featured blog. I am not sure of your background to “troubleshoot” your situation properly. Email me (click on my name which takes you to my blog and my email is there) and I will be glad to help.

    Natalie and anyone else – the offer is open for yourself as well.

    Gail – I know that Lisa has come a long way. I loved the happy lisa on the good side of the highway. I know my post came out harsh but thats just my personality. I want to help her and see the happy Lisa resurface again.

    Kara – Hi there… I dont remember you posting but it seems like you have been around the blog for a while to know much about Lisa’s SD from NYC… so in that case welcome back!

    Hi Red Maru – have fun

  142. TexasSugah says:

    Morning all…

    Up early, had a total panic attack last nite. It’s a combo of personal crap;
    sick family, exhusband and these photos today.

    @Sasha darling you can’t give up. This maybe the first real time you’ve been rejected. Sure on a small scale but this is a whole different animal. As a black woman who dates interracially in the south, I’m very used to it. This was even disarming for me. I gripped on the board too. It took 6 months to get someone. I gave up for a while and got some wise advice, don’t.

    The competition is fierce in the sugar bowl. Think, some girls will do anything, accept anything for the lifestyle. You have to remember that the sugars here are more courtesans( educated, high class women). But out there, who knows and some men will take the nastiest,skankiest chick ever. If he’s not a gentleman who doesn’t want a “top drawer” sugar you don’t want him. Trust.

    That gentleman is out there. Know what you have to bring to the table, beyond the physical, and bring that to the forefront.

  143. RedMaru says:

    Morning sugarfam!

    @babyblonde – Got the info babyblonde thanx! Love your profile! Don’t think my range is unreasonable is it?

    Against my better judgment I’m loving Pokemon Soul Silver especially the cute little Pokewalker that comes with it. Its just like a pedometer used when you walk but attached to the game. You load a Pokemon from the game into the meter take it on a “stroll” in the meter when you every step you take you collect points which you can use to catch other pokemon, gifts and level your strolling pokemon up. I collected numerous gifts and no less than six Pokemon. I wish I could catch an SD with it… hee hee yeah I’m such a big kid at heart… But I’m walking alot more

  144. VillaCypris says:

    Good morning all – happy saturday!

    LISA – very happy to see you are alright. The SD to whom babyblonde was referring, who offered to help you, is NC GENT.

    I have his email, if you’d like to contact him, email me at villacypris at yahoo dot com and I’ll send it to you.

  145. Natali says:

    Midwest- Thanks for your advice and words of encouragement! I just hear people talking about their dates and I wasn’t sure if I was doing something wrong.

    I have adjusted my profile a few times and know that I need to upload a few more pictures. I am confident that it is good, but am I asking for too much by wanting 4K/mo as an allowance not including gifts or travel. I know I deserve it, but being new is it right to ask for that much. I am only looking to have 1 SD also, so I took that into consideration when deciding on an amt. Input anyone?

    You can also email me at natalilaroux at yahoo dot com if anyone would like to talk off here. Really looking for a mentor.

    Thanks everyone!!!
    Nat

  146. babygirl says:

    Babyblonde
    I think u misunderstood my post or maybe it was me that didn’t explain it good I type with one finger and my thoughts move faster than I type which can be hard getting out what I’m thinking
    I did ask for a pic he sent his but half of his head is cut off that’s whats confusing because why exchange pics and talk about meeting up and u agree to what arrangement I want and yet you wanna cover urself up also the reason I was suspicious is because married guys only do that and he said hes divorced so I’m thinking hes full of it and he lied thinking girls my age don’t wanna be with married men I didn’t ask him about it I’m just gonna let it go even though he agreed to the type of arrangement I want I can’t stand liars I’m gonna follow my intuition I don’t need the money thankfully

  147. Gail says:

    Kara,
    Thank you for taking the time to comment. Lisa has come a long way in her sugar life and real life. For some people it takes more time than others to get over dissappointments. Yes she has been very blessed recently, but her struggles have not come easy. Individuals make choices and I am confident she will make the right decision for her.

    I am not here to judge another individual, are you? I simply skip over post that I dont care about or am not interested in reading. I have found it’s not necessary to critisize or treat others poorly ever. I am trying my darndest to be kind and with compassionate to all.

    I do wish you the best in your sugar search Kara, and I hope you understand my point of view. It’s not often I come here as real life for me is my priority. Sugar dreams to all!!!

  148. Sasha says:

    @midwest sb Thanks for the great tips. I think I will treak my profile tomorrow. I’m exhausted right now. Just got home from singing and dancing. Trying to make more time for the sugar life in between gigs.

  149. Kara10069 says:

    Gail-

    As always you are sweet and diplomatic but I highly doubt Lisa wants to hear that. Many on the blog offered her support, even financial support to get some help for her depression and she did not acknowledge it or thank anyone.

    But thank you NYCsb for telling the truth and being so blunt. I agree, her former SD was a piece of work himself. No allowance would be large enough to put up with his crap.

    Lisa reads the blog and knew everyone was worried about her. She comes back out of the blue and all she does is complain (as usual) about her previous SD (sleeping too much—-WTF??- who cares) and doesn’t even thank everyone for their support sand concern and offers to help. Those of us who know her from the blog for over a year now know that all she does is complain. When she had an SD last year she picked on him and he was good to her. This new SD got her out of the slums and prepaid her rent for 6 months. She works so she should have been saving her money for a rainy day.

    Every single piece of advice someone has offered her she has had a reason why she can’t do it. She doesn’t want advice or help, just an SD to support her. She has never thanked anyone for their suggestions of help.

    I agree she has every right to come to the blog and vent but it is tiresome to read.

    Most of us have our own crosses to bear and are here because we need financial support. She is not the only person suffering. But most of us are trying to lift ourselves up out of our ruts and not just counting on an SD to save us.

    Lisa, please stop blaming the world for your bad fortune and do something to help yourself

  150. Sasha says:

    One of the reasons that compelled me to join the site was the 20/20 piece on the site. The blonde girl that was featured stated that she had 4 sugar daddies and she was living this luxurious lifestyle. She made this look so easy. Now being on here over 6 months with no real sugar daddy, I know its not easy at all. I wasn’t really prepared for so much rejection. The thick skin I thought I had has worn away and I am starting to take some of this too personal, but I haven’t changed my profile since its been up. Maybe I should. Does a girl have to have a bikini shot to get noticed?

  151. Gail says:

    Everyone needs a good friend Midwest. Sugardating is not always so simple, successful or easy for everyone. I have found it’s a balancing act in both real and sugar life. Thank you for sharing details of your struggles. Your strength and wisdom shines through in all your post : )

  152. Midwest SB says:

    Hi Gail! Sensitive and wise statements from you…you are a good friend indeed!

    It’s Friday! My son and I enjoyed an impromptu visit to the water park followed by catching lightning bugs. Oh to be young again :-) Simple and free pleasures…we don’t appreciate them enough.

    Time for dreams of sugar! Goodnight. Tomorrow is a chance at a fresh start.

  153. Gail says:

    Hi Lisa,

    The highs and lows of Sugar dating : ) It hurts when things go south with a SD. All too often the feeling of pain or rejection is not shared on the blog. It’s so much easier to share the positives, even though the experience was just so-so. I choose not to judge or analyze your situation. Just to offer my support and allow you vent as much as you want since I am not walking in your shoes.

    You have had a wonderful year! I know that things will get better for you. Head out to the Galleria, it has provided you with sugar luck in the past!!!

    Greetings Midwest : )

  154. Midwest SB says:

    Yikes – last paragraph would make my Comp professor whip out that red marker! Sorry for the poor structure…a sign that it was written with feeling :-)

  155. Midwest SB says:

    Lisa – NYC does have a valid point. I know you’re hurting, but “faking it until you make it” can pay off. You were such a different person when the apt. SD helped you out. He helped, but only you can be in charge of your happiness. If you put yourself in another “place” for those days when you are off work, can dress up, be another person for 24 hours and attract people who WANT to be around a beautiful girl who is doing her best in a tough situation. Everytime you have the urge to say something negative, replace it with something positive.

    I’m no therapist, but we have all faced our demons. Sitting back and letting them take over is not an option.

    Two years ago, I lost my job, my home. watched my 4yo cry when we had to leave things we loved behind and shared a bedroom with my brother’s son…invading their little space and living out of three small tubs for our clothes. I felt like I failed as a person and a mother. It caused a horrible strain b/w my brother and I… my son and I almost ended up homeless. With a lot of effort and perseverance, I got a less stressful job that is flexible for family, a better place to live and can again provide for my son. Meanwhile, I filed for bankruptcy even though it was against every fiber in my being. All of it was the right thing to do and I have forgiven myself. Everyone has a testimony to their strength. Stand up and be counted. Know that we care about you, but YOU and only YOU can make it different.

  156. Midwest SB says:

    Natali – the times to meet a true SD and be in an arrangement range from weeks to some who are still looking after a year. There’s no “formula” or “tried and true” method. I came up against some serious odds and had more relative success than I thought would be possible. All you can do is be patient, sweet, charming and keep tweaking your profile.

    Some other helpful tips about profiles and searches:
    – you need to log in often for the men who use the latest log in for their searches
    – Update your profile on Wed or Thurs mornings so they are approved by Fri. This brings you up higher in the searches.
    – For a while I adjusted my age from 42 to 39 to stay in the lower age bracket searches. It was a small fudge and most sds expect it. That was sometiimes a point of contention on the blog. Honesty, trust, etc. It never backfired for me. Now (at the advice of a SD) I have, I’m 43, many mistaken me for 33 and I feel like I’m 23! That worked fine.
    – I live 1.5 hours from Chicago, so for my location I put Chicago, NW Indiana. This put me in more searches as well. I enjoy going to the city, but never really “had” to.

    I’m available offline at life_is_good_today at the live place. Keep the dashes in as I wrote it.

    ***Again, can’t promise you diamonds!!***

  157. Michael AZ Alleycat says:

    NYC SB – thank you and well said.

    Lisa, take good notice of NYC SB’s advice, it is the best advice you wll get.

  158. NYC SB says:

    Lisa – Im sorry but knowing your SD from the blog… seriously? he is one of the meanest people ever… why are you so shocked that he wont accommodate you?

    Also, I would strongly recommend you getting rid of the whiny “Debby downer” attitude… its affecting your life and its most likely the reason why your SD poofed. He tried to help you, and did help you but most likely if you constantly whine and not take his advice he got fed up and moved on.

    Sorry to be bitchy but I just cannot take it anymore. All of us have at one point or another offered to help you and provided you with some very good advice but you never ever ever take one second to consider it. Everything is dismissed… it is that attitude which is the reason why you are unhappy and stuck at a dead end job and life… not your “loser” family…

    On that note I’m off to enjoy my Friday night. I know you wont but please take a minute and think about what I just said. Its hard to take criticism but it is the single trait that distinguishes those that make it through tough times and prosper from those that sink.

  159. Lisa says:

    Well I thought things were getting better but my ex sd is acting like a spoiled baby. Invited me to come up to visit. I thought I was going to get to have another attempt in seeing NY (my last visit was kinda messed up due to some family issues he had) but he refuses to let me visit ny and says he cannot leave the town he is in now (he has two homes) because there’s just too many plays and cultural events going on. I went out of my comfort zone to meet him and now he’s unwilling to break his routine to accomodate my needs. This man also has to take an afternoon nap every day. Mind you he’s mid 40’s and doesn’t have to work anymore so why does he need so much sleep? Anyway his afternoon nap also interfered with my last visit.

  160. Rachel says:

    Lisa… so glad to see you back, we were all worried.

  161. Rachel says:

    Natali… it will be nice to have another blog person in CT! :)

  162. Lisa says:

    edit ” I got on a plane and met him in his city where I know no one, no hotel room or anything. I went outside my comfort zone yet he can’t break away from his routine to make me happy

  163. Lisa says:

    It takes a lot of pulling up short straws till you find the long straw and then even after you meet them and they seem like a sd, they can poof. I met the perfect sd a few months ago (not the same as the one I mentioned above) and he moved me into a better apartment in less than 30 days of meeting me, met feb 1, moved mar 1, then he came to visit me twice in my new place, took me shopping, and then poofed and is on the site all the time. No indication on our last visit that he was going to poof. He seemed so mature and kind and everything, he was also 70 years old, too old for silly games. Now I had my ex sd from NY that pretends to adore me and wanted me to come visit on my vacation but he won’t compromise and meet me where I want, even though I compromised for him when I met him buy flying up meet him in a strange city and agreed to stay at his place and everything, I took great risks but he can’t tear himself away from the summer calender of cultural events in his comunity to spend 3 days showing me NY.

  164. babyblonde says:

    Sasha ~ I get that all the time. I get frustrated too. Don’t take it to heart, it’s not personal. Just because a guy has a profile up doesn’t mean he’s interested in really finding an SB. He may just be trying it out to see what it’s all about or see if anyone could make him change his mind. So they are very likely to poof.

  165. Natali says:

    Ok so I have decided to move back across the country home to CT. Will be a train ride from NY so perhaps I could meet some of you nice SB’s and get some advice and mentoring! Will be a month or so until I move, but it will happen.

    Quick question, how long after joining did it take you guys to have someone take interest in you? I have only had two messages and they asked about getting married.. Sorry but no thanks.

  166. Sasha says:

    Its nice to read all the positive post about people finding a nice sd, but since I’ve been blogging alot lately it also makes me kind of sad. Like whats wrong with me. Why can’t I find anyone who is interested in me enough to follow through with a phone call or meet and greet. I thought I was close with this 50mil guy and there has been no phone call. There was another and same thing no phone call. When I pursue with an email they always respond positively like they are still interested but I’m growing tired of this.

    I guess I don’t understand how to get the follow through with these guys.

  167. babyblonde says:

    RedMaru ~ I had sinus headaches for years, and i finally got rid of them so okay I’ll send you an email in a minute or two.

  168. Lisa says:

    RedMaru I get these awful sickly headaches that come on and last 3 days and I get them every month at different times. They drain me and I feel horrible and eating or taking advil has no effect on them. They rob me of 3 days of my life every month as I can barely get through the day.

  169. The Lone Gunman says:

    Hello, gang–it’s been a while.

    Heading out next weekend to Florida, where I’ll hang with my SB.

    Life is good.

    TLG

  170. RedMaru says:

    @babyblonde honestly it could be any one of those things. I have bad allergies especially in the spring and the summer and in GA in the recent years the pollen count has been horrendous. And coincidently bad sinus problems run in both sides of my family. Any info you got would be great appreciated reg email :

    naeneq at yhoo dot com

    Gotta run sugars but be right back

  171. Lisa says:

    wow I can see why my ex sd cant find or keep a sb and he lives in NY, he’s stubburn and uncompromising. Pretends to want to see me so much, even wants to move in with him (for his own reasons) but is not willing to spend a few days in the city for me to visit, he just sent me an email response to my saying “if I don’t get to see any of Ny, i’d just rather stay in Houston. His response “ok”

  172. babyblonde says:

    I forgot hormones too especially if you are getting them in 3 week cycles.

  173. babyblonde says:

    RedMaru ~ Do you know what is causing them? Could be your sinuses, your spine is out of alignment, maybe TMJ or something you are allergic too whether it’s in the air or something you are eating, or excessive candida in your intestines. The solution is different depending on the cause. White willow bark and Feverfew are natural pain reliever. Let me know I don’t want to bog you down with a lot of unnecessary info. If you don’t know that’s okay, I may be able to help you figure it out.

  174. TexasSugah says:

    Hey Sugar Fam…

    Ladies, Lisa has to want help. Its essential.

    I’m visiting family in the hospital but I wanted to say the talk went well.
    He’s hip to the game so he really went through it for me. He wants to do for me without me asking.

    So I think i’m done looking for a while. I’m pleased. I’m not rocking 5k/month but I’m not worrying about mad money. Which anything I spend for myself in any way is mad money.

    Godiva… I’m not a sugarbabe extraordinaire but we can chat.

    My email addy is la ne gri ta 3211 at y. Mail. Com. Not ya. Hoo. Y mail

  175. RedMaru says:

    @babyblonde – wonder if you knew anything good natural for migraines…offhand

  176. babyblonde says:

    Lisa ~ Well I’m not going to argue with you, wishing you all the best!

  177. LadyGodiva28 says:

    Hey Sugars,
    I have sent out my first few emails we shall see where it goes from here. I was wondering if one of you would be my mentor, supporter on here as I am very new to the game. It would be really cool if someone was available for a phone call, or email. Especially you women doing well and women of color because I’m sure it makes finding the right SD that much more difficult.

  178. Lisa says:

    I haven’t been keeping up with the blog so not sure what you are talking about. Anyway I can’t take off work for any treatment and since I spend my work days pushing around carts of stuff taller than me I can’t be taking any kind of medications or anything. I don’t think you can fix 32 years of damage. I was born into a loser family and can’t do anything about it. I’ve had some great opportunities in the past year, only to have them yanked away from me in a cruel way.

  179. babyblonde says:

    Lisa ~ One of the SD’s here was worried about you and kind enough to pay for you to see someone If you are interested you can take a look I believe it was in Welcoming newbies one blog back. Good luck with that!! :-)

  180. Lisa says:

    Ok back from mall. Wouldn’t you know it, Starbucks had a leak in some of their equipement and flooded so they closed for the day. Had to get a frap at mcdonalds :(

    babyblonde I don’t plan to do anything as i’m broke and really can’t afford all those supplements or anything. My last sd paid my rent for 6 months but now i’m busy saving for my next lease in september which I have to pay upfront. Rent is higher over here so it takes almost all my checks to save for it. I don’t think being in a better mood would make me more money with my job. I don’t have the skills or education to make more money.

  181. babyblonde says:

    Lisa ~ You don’t have to read the book to buy the supplements, it was just if you are interested. You can go online and take a peek at each one and see what might work for you. Their are others I can’t think of now, but I can look if you want me to. One thing is if you are manic depressive you should not take SAM-E but they could help put you in a better mood and make you more money in the long run. Gaba is calming, theanine is calming and 5-HTP will give you a happiness boost.

    What do you plan to do about your depression?

  182. NYC SB says:

    Flo- hi sugar sister! Miss you

    All SBs interested in the SA party – I went to the last one and wrote a review about it on my blog so just click on my name

    Xoxo
    NYC SB full of sugar!

  183. Lisa says:

    SD Guru The guy I was talking about was my ex lover of 5 years who never even took for a coffee. This sd was one I had last year for several months but it was long distance and I couldn’t travel much and he cut off my sugar several months ago but we have kept in touch as friends. He has a sd right now but feels its not going to work out. Since this is an arrangment type thing I have no problem resuming if his current situation didint’ work out as I am not looking for a serious relationship so it doesn’t matter but if I’m going to travel up there I expect to have a good time and see the city, not spend it doing family acitivities. I need financial help and some fun in my life not more of what I have here. Anyway he has poofed off for awhile as I guess he didn’t like me being forward and telling him what I would like to do rather than just come hang out with him doing nothing. I know he could take 3 days out of his summer activities to accomodate me so that we could spend some fun times together but he is too spoiled to compromise. Most likely why he can’t keep a sb. If he offered me a good allowance for the visit, I would very much accomodate his wishes as that’s what an arranement is about, sd provides financial support, sb entertain’s sd’s needs but just to go somewhere for nothing but the free trip and do only what the sd wants to do isn’t much fun. And as silly as it sounds I love my coffee and soda and sd doens’t drink either and does not keep it in his homes so when I visited last time I was so craving some caffeine that I was actually looking forward to getting home. I would think he would have been thoughtful enough to pick up some little things like that to make my visit more enjoyable. It sounds silly but those are just little thoughtful things to do. If someone visited me I would try to have some things in the house that they enjoyed (they’re favorite drinks, snacks, etc).

    Ok i’m going to take my broke *ss over to the mall for a latte and to look at all the nice things I can’t buy :(

    Have a good afternoon everyone

  184. MindyNYC says:

    Guru, if you want something you put the work (research) into getting it.

  185. RedMaru says:

    babyblonde – good points!
    lisa hon the name of these relationships are mutually benefical which means both parties are supposed to be benefiting from each others company making each other feel good not one hurting the others feelings
    sdguru – hey 😀 you have a good weekend too

  186. SD Guru says:

    @Lisa

    I’m glad to see you alive and posting after your previous posts about running into a busy intersection and blackmailing your ex SD. Sorry to hear about your boring trip to NY last time. Was that with the ex SD you were going to blackmail? Based on the situation you described, I wonder why you’d even consider spending more time with him.

    @MindyNYC

    For those seeking general starting out advice, I strongly suggest you read the blog archives. I can not stress this enough. You are sitting on a wealth of experience and information, just waiting to be exposed! This is like entering into a new field, so naturally doing some research is prudent. Yes, it can be tedious and time consuming, but well worth the effort!

    This is the advice often given to newbies and I thought I’d take a quick look at the archives and see just how tedious and time consuming it can be. During that process I’ve made some observations about the blog:

    – Although the blog started in early ’08, the participation didn’t start to “explode” until early ’09. Which, coincidentally, is about the time when most SB’s started their own blogs. By the way, there are lots of SB blogs out there but I can only find 1 or 2 SD blogs, which also mirrors the participation in this blog.

    – There are about 8-10 blog topics per month and each topic can generate several hundred to over 1,000 posts!

    – I noticed a slow down in participation this year. For example, there were 7500+ posts in January but only 1500+ in May. Not sure why.

    – Like most forum that’s been around for some time (does anyone remember Yahoo Groups before the age of Google and Blogs?), things happen in cycles in the blog. Drama, flame war, and cast of characters can come and go.

    I will go back and read the archives from the first 5 months of this year in my spare time. That may not sound like much, but that’s over 21,000 posts!! Maybe I’ll uncover the drama that Flo Rida and Lily went through. It’s certainly not for those with ADD, and I admire the patience and perseverance of long time bloggers who are still here.

    Hint to newbies: As a short cut, look at the lower part of the right side column on the blog’s home page and you’ll see a list of “Pages” that cover frequently asked questions, for example:

    * Finding a Sugar Daddy in the Real Word
    * How to Identify a Fake Sugar Daddy
    * How to Negotiate with a Sugar Daddy
    * How to Screen a Potential Sugar Daddy
    * Marketing Yourself as a Sugar Daddy or Sugar Baby
    * Sugar Dating is a Game of Odds
    * Sugar: Satisfaction Guaranteed?
    * The 5 Stages of Sugar
    * Thoughts from a Married Sugar Baby

    Have a great weekend everyone!

  187. Lisa says:

    As far as taking care of my depression I;ve had it since I was 12 and my mom is a religious fanatic so she just went around saying “you need jesus, etc” but she is depressed all the time herself. I have insurance that covers nothing, just the barebones 5 dollar a week policy at my job with its 40 dollar office visits and high deductables. I never use it and I can’t sit still long enough to read anything other than the blog. Books tend to bore me.

  188. Lisa says:

    Well he was a nice guy and helped me financially for many months before he even met me but I dont think he’s really looking for a sb. He has beautiful children but I’m really not looking to be a mommy, especially just to move in with a guy without marriage. My daughter’s grown and i’m gone with that. I wouldn’t mind visiting him if he helped me out as I said I would think of it as a job rather than a vacation but if it’s just to visit, I want to have fun and see things. I had to lie so much to my family and coworkers about what I saw because I was embarrased to admit I didnt’ get to see anything, thus that’s the reason I didn’t bring back any pictures. It’s like “did you see ground zero, times square, central park, etc, did you shop at bloomingdales?” no I didn’t do any of those things and we did spend alot of time in bloomingdales but I got nothing. The first evening was very nice strolling the streets for several hours and seeing the christmas lights, having an early dinner at seredipity and then a later dinner at Grand central terminal but the next days were kinds dull, sitting at home, etc. We had a lovely drive to the place where he has his house but then again it was sit at home. He did hurt my feelings on that second night and i’ve never quite go over it. I was trying on a dress at bcbg and I agree it didn’t look to good on me, but that’s what trying stuff on is for right? He said “that dress doesn’t look good on you, its not right for you and just looked disgusted” It was all I could do to keep from crying. He can be a sweet guy when he wants to but then again he is too brutally honest I guess and telling a woman she looks bad in something is not what you say to someone you are wanting to be your sb.

  189. babyblonde says:

    Lisa ~ HIya Girl!!!!!

    Glad you are back <3<3<3 !!

    Sorry to hear you are going through some difficulties. I hear a lot of pain and depression in your posts Sort of like you are giving up hope of things working out each time I hear from you. I can get like that too. It may be chemical depression and it's treatable. Have you tried anything like SAM-E , Gaba or 5 HTP, PEA.

    There are some great books on brain chemistry NATURAL HIGHS by Hyla Cass, M.D. and Patrick Holford. Hyla also has a website http:// www. cassmd .com/ if you want to check it out.

    Also, a great book I love is Depression Free For Life by Dr. Gabriel Cousens He's got an all natural approach to changing the brain chemistry. I know people who know him personally and he's wonderful at healing things even like diabetes in 30 days with a 98% success rate.

    I think once you change your brain chemistry things will start to turn around for you and you will be so much happier. The happier you are, the better luck you will attract. You can always go the conventional route too, but their are side effects and a lot more trial and error with risk of sinking deeper into depression involved. How do you feel about finding someone to talk too?

    I'm truly heartbroken to hear how your SD teases you into this trip only to have you take care of his kids and not pay you when you are struggling. It sounds to me that you are right to think he is being selfish, and taking advantage of you when you would be better off spending your time with an SD that will provide financially for you and show you a good time. That situation with him only sounds like it's going to get worse if you let him keep doing this. What would happen if you put your foot down with him and tried being assertive, not angry or pushy but learned to be assertive with him. Draw that line in the sand and stop letting people hurt you. We love you don't want anything to happen to you and hope you get better and your life turns around soon! :-)

  190. Lisa says:

    I agree. When I met him here on the blog last year things were great and he did alot to help me in the months before I was able to fly to visit him. I can’t understand why he’s so tired all the time and has to take a nap every afternoon like a child. That really interfers with being able to go anywhere or see anything when you gotta be home in bed at 1 pm. Anyway if a person was working long hours I could understand being tired but a middle age man who doesn’t work at all shouldn’t need afternoon naps.

  191. babyblonde says:

    Babygirl ~ You can’t depend on the other person to give you what you want if you don’t ask. Asking for a face pic is typical of the conversation that goes on between people here all the time. You are not being a meanie. You need to treat this like a business until you are with someone for some time and have developed an IRL relationship with them with trust.

    Why are you suspicious because he’s divorced? Agreeing to $11k without seeing your pic is just his wishful thinking on his part at this point. You have to get some guts here girl if you want to get anywhere with this. Good luck! Let us know what happens.

  192. RedMaru says:

    Sounds like this guy just looking for a live in nanny without having to pay for her. Keep chin up I know thats easier said than done

  193. Lisa says:

    edit “elderly man with a cane”

  194. Lisa says:

    I’m sinking deeper and deeper. Probably coming close to losing my job as I burst in tears several times last week. Also almost ran into an elderly man with a can with my work cart.

    I just thought I had so good news but he is being so selfish saying how much he wants to see me yet won’t let me have any fun. Last trip was kinda messed up and as I said I spent most of the time sitting at his home doing nothing so I was hoping to get a chance to see something this time. he is so much a homebody and doesn’t want to go anywhere or do anything. When I visited I said i’d like to go into the city the next day. he say “nah you don’t want to go anywhere near the city this time of year and so the whole day was spent sitting around the apartment, he took a 3 hour nap in the afternoon and then we drove to his country home and I spent the next day sitting in the house doing nothing while he was doing something he had to do. Our planned friday night in the city turned into me sitting home with his young children while he was on an emergency. I had to grab whatever suivieners I could find at the airport coming back for my family because I didn’t even get a chance to buy an suiviners because we never went anywhere.

  195. RedMaru says:

    Lisa – good to see you I dont know if you been checkin the blogs lately but your sugar fam has been worried sick about ya. Sorry bout your poof. Are you okay otherwise

  196. Lisa says:

    Good morning. Well I thought things were looking up for me. My ex sd contacted me the other day about spending my vacation visiting him. I was excited at the idea of being able to visit NY again and maybe getting to see some of the city this time. (last time the first evening was great but then due to issues with his family obligations, I spent most of the other 2 days sitting around his home doing nothing which was quite boring). I wrote him back saying i’d love to come and that i’ve got my vacation time set up for mid august (I spent time arranging this particular week because it works around some personal issues with me along with my work schedule. I can’t take off anytime before that due to a repeat inventory at the store and the fac that my boss has to work some overnights doing the back to school set in early august. After sept is pretty much shut out to do upcoming holidays and promo sets. When my boss has to work overnight, we are shorthanded in the day so no one can take off.
    Anyway I was a little concerned that he might not want to go anywhere this time (sd) so I asked what his plans were for us while in NY and I said I hope to see more of it this time. He wrote back and said we would not be in NY but in his home in the country because he said NY is a total waste of time in August (I think NY anytime of the year would be more exciting than being out in the country sitting around all day and attending plays at night as I am not really into that stuff. I can sit around home when i’m in my city and want to get out and see stuff when I travel. I don’t mean to cold or selfish but i can’t help prefer seeing the city and the sites over sitting around doing nothing but making bottles and changing diapers which is what my friday night in NY with him consisted of last time I visited. A emergency came up and he had to go out that night but one can’t help but be disappointed. He is a good guy but unfortunatly he is looking more for a nanny that he can sleep with than a sb to have fun and do stuff with. I would be open to going and splitting the time between NY and his other home, lets say 2 days at each but he would not do that and is unbending and has yet to respond to my last email. If he was giving me a good allowance I would go because at least i’d be making some money and I’d look at is as a job rather than a sugar trip but he made a comment about no allowance so I think he just wants me to visit. I’d open to visiting for no allowance is we were going to have fun dining out, shopping, seeing the city, etc but just to go up there to hang out and play family with him is not what i’d want and I would rather just sit home. He knows I am need of financial assistance too but doesnt care.

    Anyway I thought things were coming around but apparently not. :(

  197. RedMaru says:

    Good Morning sugars TGIF eh?

    @JSB You had some German Riesling awwww man next time save me some. My mom introduced me to it three b-days ago

    @FloRida – Hey missed ya! Sorry bout what happened :( BIG HUG being sent your way

    @LadyGodiva28 Email sending. I find that asking about a particular hobby, like or dislike is a good way to break the ice. And as a carmel colored lady eh its been a challenge but not one I couldnt handle 😀

    Welcome out of lurker mode sfloridasb 😀 no you are not alone
    Good luck on your pots

    @MindyNYC – He claims that he lives between both places but your right approach with extreme caution! Thanks 😀

  198. sfloridasb says:

    Lurker here… Been on the site for a few weeks now and I’m starting to get the hang of it. I’m getting better at weeding out the legit from the fake SDs here. I have a few potentials that are very promising…one very handsome and chivalrous… The other a bit older and offering good money and very sweet. Wish me luck!!

    Oh, and did anyone feel kind of OBSESSED with checking their mail in the beginning? I hope I’m not alone here. :) you guys all rock.

  199. JSB says:

    Just catching up, wanted to say hi to the sugar fam before I read all the posts on the previous topic…

    @Michael – Burning Man sounds amazing..it’s funny because I was actually talking about that with a pot who went before and said it was unreal…

    What’s new in my sugar life? Lots!!! Met with some more pots now that my schedule is not so hetic…had some incredible meets…drank a btl of 1993 German Riesling last night which was so tasty! The conversations are great and I am looking forward to a fun summer :)

    @Chi – yay to the Blackhawks, I was so pumped last night when they beat Philly…it was a great series…now I am looking forward to World Cup baby!! c’mon Germany!

    I am heading to Vegas next week with the girls and cannot wait!!! 5 days/4 nights = FUN! Will anyone else be in Sin City?

  200. AliciaChanel says:

    @ LadyGodiva28
    Hey I’m a newbie here also. And I got like 5 potential SDs on here already. I was nervous at first but I quickly got over it. Just be yourself and if they don’t like it..To hell with em! lol.
    *Now my dilemma is actually going to meet with them..I’m completely nervous!
    P.S. Im a Caramel colored lady

  201. Elle123 says:

    Wish I could go, too bad Im stuck in Tx :(

  202. Elle123 says:

    Wish I cou

  203. babygirl says:

    SB’s i need ur help
    me and this guy exchanged emails and he sent me a pic of himself with the top of his head cut off I can’t see his full face
    I don’t know how to respond
    and what’s even more suspicious is he says he’s divorced
    I haven’t responded yet
    What should I say?
    I don’t wanna sound like a meanie
    and say Excuse me if u wanna see my pic then send me yours that’s not chopped up
    I’m getting really suspicious especially since he was fine for an 11K allowance and I haven’t even sent him my pic yet!

  204. SD Guru says:

    @Bill

    The girl who calls herself J – Member ID: 460854 and has the headline “Looking for a real guy”in Minneapolis is a scam artist. DO NOT send her money or believe anything she says. I was an idiot to believe her but I want to warn all the men out there. Stay clear of this chick.

    I’m sorry to hear about your experience. Can you please provide some details as to what happened and how it happened, so we can all learn from your experience. On sa.com after you log in there is a clear warning message about sending money to someone you just met:

    Never send money to anyone you just met using Western Union, even if they are in the US, UK or Canada. There are reports of Sugar Babies asking for travel expenses and disappearing once they receive the money. No matter how much he or she may blame you for not trusting them, NEVER SEND MONEY to a stranger.

    @Flo Rida

    I think a critical piece of analysis that is missing from your stages are the X themes. Namely:

    – How do I protect my identity, security at each stage
    – What am I really prepared to do @ each stage
    – What do I really want from SD-SB at each stage
    – How do I protect myself from people who lie, or simply change their minds
    – How do I ‘represent’ myself the best in each stage
    – How do I select ‘the one’ (or two or three).
    – How do I stop WWIII as part of a break up

    These are excellent points! Looks like you’ve been through those stages many times to come up with that list. I didn’t want to turn my original post into a novel so I didn’t get to these issues. I’d be interested to see how others address them.

    i’ve since concluded that the people who do this best (in a parallel field) are M&A investment bankers and deal attorneys. Being boring but there are many lessons.

    I wonder how you reached that conclusion? When you get a chance, please share those lessons with us.

    If anyone remembers me, i’m still in purgatory & figuring stuff out. Be careful it’s dangerous out there. Wet in New York. PS I will not post regularly (i’m too bitter).

    Could one of the bloggers provide some background info on what happened to Flo Rida and the cause of her bitterness?

  205. Sasha says:

    @ladygodiva28 I do think that possibly it could be a challenge, but so many on this site have given me great advice and are keeping me positive. I don’t want a sd that doesn’t want me so I’ll just focus on the ones that show me interest. I want to ask this question again to anyone that might have the answer. Do you give yourself a better chance at getting seen by having a premium acct and more than one profile pic?

    @babyblonde Thanks I will contact you soon.

  206. babyblonde says:

    Sasha ~ I wish I always did but thank you. Would love to hear about you too!

    please write me BabyBlonde SB @ Yahoo dot com

  207. LadyGodiva28 says:

    And to my carmel colored ladies do you find it more of a challenge? I am wondering because that is what I will be facing especially you TexasSugah you seem to be well versed in the game and I’m in Texas too!

  208. LadyGodiva28 says:

    Any tips on what to say in sending that first email? I’m kinda nervous on how to start.

  209. Lily says:

    Flo Rida ! Good to see you ! Sending *hugs* your way…

  210. Amandaa says:

    How long does it take for an account to be activated, I’ve been waiting forever? Any advice for a newbie?

  211. Michael AZ Alleycat says:

    Flo Rida! Great to see you back!! Hope all is ok. We have missed your spirit here.

  212. MindyNYC says:

    RedMaru – could he have created the number for discretion? Maybe googlevoice? You’re a smart woman, as always trust your gut and move forward with caution…

  213. Sasha says:

    ok @ babyblonde you seem like a woman that gets what she wants. I love to hear your perspective and would love to ask you about your personal experiences if you don’t mind…off the blog???

    @sd guru. I respect your advice as well and think its nice to hear from a sd on the blog.

    @lilshything I always have felt the same way as you on this site. Sure I want nice things, but I just lost my job that I had for 10 yrs. I also have recently had a cancer scare and I’m needing money for medical reasons. I don’t think its pitiful at all to be on here for any reason. Though I have alot of stressers in my life, I try to be positive in emails and correspondences with potential sd’s.

  214. RedMaru says:

    Evening sugars I need help! So what else is new? I got two pots but with one gut says something just doesnt feel feel right. One contacted me from AZ we’ve been emailing back and forth and he finally gives me a number but the area code is one for my state. Now I understand that it happens sometimes but I dont believe for a stock broker who income listed as 500K – 1 mil or am I missing something here. Help!

    Sorry BTW Hows everyone so far tonight I see I missed alot… again

  215. TexasSugah says:

    Hey Ladies….

    ESB- that is sooo awesome. A rancher? That’s romantic, you know the visions of the wealthy cattlemen.. nice.

    Thanks for the well wishes Midwest. I actually can’t wait. He’s mentioned travel.. excitement!

  216. Midwest SB says:

    ESB – So glad to hear about your date! Lots of sugar dust sweetie!

    TexasSugahh – Looks like things are going your way. I’d lost track of you for a bit and so glad to see success!

  217. Midwest SB says:

    Chitown – yeah Hawks! How is VA?

  218. ESB says:

    AWESOME TS!! I hope he works out for you!

    I’m hoping the guy I’m talking to turns out to be my white knight. I’m late on a few bills, would be nice to have someone take care of that for me…

    Talking to a rich rancher from NC that is considering being my SD… OMG he’s hot… It started out being a joke, but he is seriously thinking about helping me with some of my bills…

  219. TexasSugah says:

    SD Guru and Flo Rida – those were fantastic posts.. Flo.. don’t be bitter.. it’ll get better.

    I agree with people thinking that they have an arrangement when they don’t. I did that and was upset after the fact.

    I’m pretty good with the on SD that I have for sure now but we don’t have an allowance deal it’s whatever I need. I have a pot date tomorrow. I counted him as confirmed before because we’ve decided we want to continue and he’s given me a $$ gift on our first date. Tomorrow it’s the big talk. I really like the way he wants to plan dates between us and he’s really concerned about what I want to do and my interests. I think he’s also worried about me using him for money and taking off. That’s the trust issue.

    I guess we’ll have to see tomorow.

  220. babyblonde says:

    Lillibeth ~ Being Bi, I think it only adds to the attraction with a few exceptions. It could really increase your potential. I always have that clicked on mine. I used to have a couple that took care of me and OMG it was just the most precious thing ever. The man is one of the major guys in advertising today and his girlfriend a beautiful model the same age as me. I really cherish that year and I hope they do too. Of course he treated me extremely well, but she was also my voice sometimes and that took the edge off for me. Anyways, I’m getting off topic. My answer to you is YES you might not ever find a Sugar Mommie here, but it can only help with your men quota, that’s for sure. :-) Have you thought about couples? That is more common than just a SM.

  221. ESB says:

    Flo Rida: Miss and love you girl!!

  222. MindyNYC says:

    FLO!!!!! Was just thinking about you earlier today (seriously!!). Was gonna ask one of the gals about you…Good to see ya if only for a driveby. Don’t let ’em stop your Flo! xo!

  223. Flo Rida says:

    SD Guru

    I think a critical piece of analysis that is missing from your stages are the X themes. Namely:
    – How do I protect my identity, security at each stage
    – What am I really prepared to do @ each stage
    – What do I really want from SD-SB at each stage
    – How do I protect myself from people who lie, or simply change their minds
    – How do I ‘represent’ myself the best in each stage
    – How do I select ‘the one’ (or two or three).
    – How do I stop WWIII as part of a break up

    i’ve since concluded that the people who do this best (in a parallel field) are M&A investment bankers and deal attorneys. Being boring but there are many lessons.

    If anyone remembers me, i’m still in purgatory & figuring stuff out. Be careful it’s dangerous out there.

    Wet in New York. PS I will not post regularly (i’m too bitter).

  224. ESB says:

    God evening Sgar Family! Lots to catch up on!! YOu all are writing novels these days, slows me down some, but wanted to at least say hi before I got lost up there.

    I have a pot date tomorrow night, and I’m feeling REALLY good about this one. He seems so normal!! lol… Going to a nice resteraunt in DC, and after texting/talking all week, I think we might hit it off wonderfully!! Keep your fingers crossed for me. He just might be the one!! Only time will tell!

  225. LadyGodiva28 says:

    It’s good to hear differing opinions for a newbie like myself. My greatest hesitation in this is having a SD think or have the idea that he owns or has bought me. Someone mentioned some questions that I didn’t see an answer to like should you go pick guys to contact or should you let them contact you? and do many of you date in or out of state?

  226. babyblonde says:

    WCSD ~ Let’s see, I am a Sugar Baby and a Real Blonde whatever negative connotations you imagine are on you. I’m not pretending to be something I’m not.

    Some people feel that he is misleading and others are annoyed by his antics as well. Some people like his ideas some people don’t. That’s fine. But I think I have a valid concern. He has jumped on quite a few of our posts. He’s an adult if he wants to debate what we have to offer, he better be able to take it as well. Which he has done fine at. No one is forcing him to argue with us, he has chosen to do that all on his own.

    Everyone has the right to say what the want here and can take it and leave it. I’m suspicious of his motives. Hopefully I’m just being overly cautious because I want everyone to do really well, I don’t want young women to settle for less and be treated like a doormat by men. What older women do is their own business but it doesn’t really sit well with me to have him knocking advice from more experienced Sugar Babies acting like he knows better than us and like he’s God’s gift to women. IMHO

    Some of these women here are younger than my daughters and if that guy doesn’t give you the creeps, then I hope you are smart enough to know better when you meet a stranger from online than to pick a Sugar Daddy with a mentality who claims to know what you should or should not be doing with your Sugar Dating. Not only am I a Sugar Baby but I have an intense background in security and while he may harmless enough, what I said needed to be said and I’m glad I said it. and everyone can draw their own conclusions. I’m not trying to hurt his feelings, I’m trying to say to women “hey this guy is a great example of what I don’t want in a Sugar Daddy and this is why and this is the reason I am successful and have very few of the problems that many other Sugar Babies encounter because I don’t associate with guys like that IRL”

    I know that not everyone here needs to hear my thoughts and probably most women here can think for themselves. But I’m honestly a little concerned about some of the issues I’ve seen with women here who don’t even know abuse when they see it. Or they have no clue when they’ve been taken advantage of, none at all! They don’t know what it’s like to be respected all the time by someone. You know the people I’m talking about. I’m not going to beat the issue to a bloody pulp, I just think it was a long time coming. You don’t have to agree, I’m speaking from my truth and I’ve said my peace.

  227. SD Guru says:

    “The 5 Stages of Sugar”

    In the previous blog we’ve seen several SB’s described their bad experiences and a few mentioned good ones. I think it might be useful to look at the different stages in the sugar world and some common questions for each stage to put those experiences in perspective. In order to not turn this into a novel, I’ll try to be brief and just mention the challenges involved. But obviously there is a lot more to discuss which I’ll mention at the end.

    1. The Contact

    This is the first stage in sugar world when pot SB’s and SD’s correspond with each other before meeting in person. Keep in mind anyone can put up a profile and call himself a SD or herself a SB, but that doesn’t necessarily make it so. Most dialogs don’t get past this stage due to people being disrespectful and ignorant as we’ve seen from Jen, BronzedSugar, and Artist’s stories. This is where the flakes, weirdos, time wasters should be identified and discarded.

    Frequently asked questions:

    – Should I contact pot SD’s or wait to be contacted?
    – How do I weed out the flakes from the real ones?

    2. The Meet

    The purpose of the first meeting is to find out whether there is chemistry, compatibility, and common expectations on both sides. Sometimes it may take more than one meeting to find out. If the meeting is local then it should be easy to meet for drinks or dinner without any pressure or expectations on either side. But if travel is involved then it’s best to make sure expectations for the meeting are clearly communicated and understood by both. It’s not uncommon to think everything will work out fine before you meet and then to find out that’s not the case, or the person may have misrepresented themselves in some way. Unfortunately this is where you can end up with clingers and stalkers described by Carolina SB and others.

    Frequently asked questions:

    – Should I travel to meet a pot SD?
    – How much personal info should I give out or ask for before the meet?

    3. The Discussion

    After you have a good meet and decided there is mutual interest to pursue further, then it’s time for an open and honest discussion about the arrangement. Keep in mind the discussion could happen before the meet or during the meet as well. It’s important to clearly communicate expectations on both sides. Such as, amount of allowance, gifts/travel, frequency and duration of meetings, how you will spend your time together, etc. SD’s should realize that each SB’s situation is different and what works for one SB may not work for another. Therefore, it’s important for a SD to spoil/support his SB in a way that makes a difference to her. The positive experiences described by Sugarbaby F and JessRabbitSB were at this stage.

    Frequently asked questions:

    – How do I ask for what I really want?
    – How do I get an allowance from a gift/travel SD?

    4. The Arrangement

    After you have mutually agreed on an arrangement, I will now pronounce you SD and SB!! :) Some people thought they have found their SD/SB before getting to this stage, but that can be premature. For an arrangement to work, both parties should act in good faith to build trust. This may take some time to establish as both parties adjust to their roles and start doing what they said they will do. Some arrangements may fall apart quickly as the reality of an arrangement sets in.

    Frequently asked questions:

    – Should I have sex before getting the sugar?
    – What should I do if my SD is not providing what he promised?

    5. The Bliss?

    When an arrangement is in place for some time and it’s working well, it’s possible that unforeseen circumstances may cause either party to make temporary adjustments or to evaluate whether the arrangement should be modified. In some cases both parties may mutually agree to end the arrangement if there are irreconcilable differences. All good things must come to an end and in a NSA relationship that is to be expected. In the meantime, just relax and enjoy the sugar!!

    Frequently asked questions:

    – What if my SD wants more than NSA?
    – What if my SD can no longer provide what he agreed to?

    Now that I have described the 5 Stages of Sugar, I’m sure more questions will come to mind. Such as, how do I progress from one stage to the next? And, how long should each stage take? This post is already too long so I’ll stop here. I hope this helps all the newbies out there. Feel free to agree or disagree with what I wrote and let’s have a constructive discussion in the blog!

  228. BronzedBeauty says:

    “I seriously need a life!” lol

  229. BronzedBeauty says:

    SD Guru you have always had nice words for me since I joined months ago…no problems here! BTW my nana’s name is Irene lol she used to say stuff like that all time.

  230. SD Guru says:

    Thanks to WCSD and MindyNYC for your comments.

    For those who think I’m full of hot air and irrelevant, feel free to skip my posts. Or better yet, express your opinion as I do with mine. Either way, I promise it won’t hurt my feelings!

    Was it Michael who said the phrase “give them enough rope and they will hang themselves”? 😉

    Please don’t give me too much credit for helping or ruining other people’s lives. I’m just a simple man trying to make my way through the sugar world!! :)

  231. Rachel says:

    Hello sugar fam! First I will start with an update… I went on the date with the pot. He was kind, and intelligent and I was interested. Then the warning bells went off. He brought up the arrangement. Didn’t say much about what it was that HE wanted out of it (this is why I tend to discuss over email first so I know if it’s a waste of our time). He seems to be a novice, which was a bit annoying to me, but I’ve walked people thru this process before so I’m ok with it. UH-OH… then the monetary discussion started. I got the “Hmmmm… interesting… how did you come to this figure?” comment. Well good sir… this is how (said with a cute devilish grin). Then he hmmm’d again.

    So on to the next! He did however email me a convoluted message about how my expectations are too high for my age, but he would be interested at a lesser agreement. HA… I bit my lip!

    @ English Amy
    I find having the paid membership is worth it for me. I don’t really use the search option (maybe have instigated contact 3-4 times the entire time I’ve been on the site). However, what I like is seeing who’s looked at my profile and more importantly, who’s “favorite’d” me.

    Why you ask? Well, I shall tell you! :) Some guys are shy, they might favorite you to see if you look at their profile or favorite them back before they email you… it’s a way of not being rejected as harshly as an ignored email. I’ve had people also email (who looked at my profile… not fav) saying “hey, saw you looked at my profile, I liked what I saw, did you?” It’s a line opener for some guys.

  232. BronzedBeauty says:

    OMG he has a foot fetish….can someone say SHOES SHOES SHOES! LOL. Im gonna got those new Macarena wedges yet!!!!!

  233. BronzedBeauty says:

    @ NewGirl the great thing about the arrangement is you both have to come to an agreement. I liked my allowances broken up and deposited bc I just liked having money coming in at different times. When I had big stacks all at once I spent it too fast!!!! lol. Its up to you and your pot how you want to do it. You have to work that out! Is he willing to give you an allowance if he hasnt seen you? Some guys just send gifts in their absence, some send just a little to get you by and others do not know you until they come around! Every arrangement is different. Unfortunately it does sound like a business prop but that is what it is. you have to be comfortable and willing to talk about this so there is no confusion in the long run.

  234. BronzedBeauty says:

    ok update….no sooner do i think about writing Mr. Timid off he emails a few secs ago (and i just had to come to the blog lol…note to self “get a life”) and asks can “I” plan a weekend for us! Wow. Where did that come from?!?!?!? Then he goes on to say he cant wait to explore every inch of my body….um think he was playing shy guy???? It really turned me off, but I’m liking the new turn around!

  235. BronzedBeauty says:

    So my dominant potential is def about to be kicked to the curb. Everytime I speak with him its lets talk dirty and have phone sex. So I’m supposed to let him get his juevos off and not even commit to meeting…dont think so. You even have to pay phone sex ops the jerk!

    My other timid potential is showing poof tendencies. He’s sooooooooo shy and has low self-esteem! It drives me insane. I just want to tell him to cowboy up and grow some chest hair! Such a turn off! He’s always like I dont know if you’ll like it, I dont know if you’ll like me…etc. I dont think he’s going to stick around bc I wont feed into it.

    I think I’m going to slow down a bit bc these guys are running me ragged seriously!

  236. WCSD says:

    Babyblonde – First, I can’t believe I’m doing this (defending SD Guru), but no where has he stated he is an expert, or that his way is the right and only way. He has always stated that his comments are his opinion, and you can take it or leave it (just was we can all take anyones input and take it or leave it). Maybe you both have had completely different sugar experiences and you’d both like to share that we anyone who wants to read past your name in the blog. We all have the choice to skip over whoever we don’t want to read.

    No need to jump all over him because of his blog name. Heck are you really a baby, or a true blonde? Maybe you are, maybe you aren’t….the point is it is a blog nickname, something you use to identify yourself, NOT to define yourself.

  237. Natali says:

    I have sent out aprox 10 emails this week alone. Is there a way I can include my profile on here for you guys to look at? I go online on my blackberry most of the time, so copy and paste won”t work… Perhaps if you search for me. I am in Blackfoot, ID and my name on here is NataliLaroux. Speaking of names, is the fact that I use my modeling stage name bad? Is a SD going to think badly when he buys me a plane ticket in my legal name?

    Thanks again for all the help! I truely appreciate it!

    Nat

  238. New Girl says:

    Looking for advice from fellow Sugar Babies:

    – My new SD relationship is setting sail, we agreed on terms and both want to be with one another. We are supposed to become “official” sometime this weekend, but there is just one problem. It’s already half-way through June and he will be gone for the month of July and wants to discuss how to handle allowance. It’s a substantial sum of money, so what is the general policy with this? Do I request my full “june” allowance and not get anything for july? Do I get a “June” allowance and get a “discount allowance” for the month I won’t see him? Or do I get a full Jone and full July allowance regardless of the fact that he’ll be gone in July?

    Help! Thank you!

  239. MindyNYC says:

    HI ALL!
    Hope that everyone is having a great week!

    IMO, I think that there are 9 ways to skin a cat. It is up to each of us to find what is out there and what works for us. Some people will completely identify with an experience, and others will think it’s crazy. If your experience and/or point of view differs from someone elses then post it. It’s up to the reader to take what they need from it. Everyone can learn something from someone, and in the process learn about ourselves. That’s the fun of the blog. At the end of the day we are all here to share our experiences and give advice – since it’s a subjective, opinions will vary. Let’s be grateful for everyone’s effort and participation.

    For those seeking general starting out advice, I strongly suggest you read the blog archives. I can not stress this enough. You are sitting on a wealth of experience and information, just waiting to be exposed! This is like entering into a new field, so naturally doing some research is prudent. Yes, it can be tedious and time consuming, but well worth the effort!

    Happy Belated Bday Soaring Sparrow!

  240. babyblonde says:

    Natali ~ I will write you or feel free to write me BabyBlonde @ yahoo dotcom

    SDguru ~ Thank you. We all know the history of Sugar Dating goes back to the caveman and that computers have changed the way we relate to each other.

    Given your history in the Sugar Bowl, it would seem ridiculous to expect you to be able to separate fact from fantasy. For me the Sugar World it’s all about fantasy and riches for the taking. It is not at all about hard work and yes many Sugar Babies just get plain lucky. I know that bothers you to no end but that’s the reality like it or not. That’s too big of a component of all this to simply skip over like it’s only a lucky few. Most successful Sugar Babies I know have ADD and can not and do not have any patience or perseverance. Many have a zero tolerance level for BS and they are world class. To them it’s just having an active social life they love, for some, it’s just being able to know who to trust and how to be open to lots of Sugar without being a doormat. Online dating is hard work I’ll admit, and for some it’s much easier than others, it’s knowing how to attract wealthy men so that you don’t have to work so hard. Ask me if I even want a guy who doesn’t want a spoiled Sugar Baby? IRL, I am the opposite of anything you would ever imagine to be spoiled … BUT I have found that in order to be successful at THIS, you must know how and when to play the princess card whether you like it or not. Guys will always say they hate princesses, but that’s only because they spent too much money on one. Now I’m not the type of person to rip people off or treat them badly, it’s a little like dealing with people who are into S & M. Although it’s not my thing, it exists to a large extent in the Sugar Bowl and I play with it to the extreme delight of my Sugar Daddies! :-)

    But what do I know, I’ve only been doing this 20 yrs? This is just all gobbelygoop I pulled out of my arse today. It’s nice of you to attempt to sort all this out for women here who do not have any other place to turn too. Your scope is narrowed to only this blog. The blog can be like the blind leading the blind sometimes.

    I find it helpful to hear other opinions when they are not biased. When it comes to women’s issues, I find it interesting when a man can answer for a woman but at some point it starts to raise red flags. Kind of like the Catholic church claiming to be the messenger of the Truth. Then later you really find out some ugly things. I prefer to get my information from people “in the know”. That is the secret to my success. Otherwise, it’s like asking a man about your periods when you really need a doctor or another woman.

    I would not go on the martial arts blog and write post after post about how to protect yourself in the ring, and how to win a fight with my limited experience and yet I can definitely help new fighters, but I also understand my level of expertise does not qualify me to cross certain boundaries. That would just be insane and yet you are doing just that right here. I like that you have so much excess time on your hands to help us out, how thoughtful of you to do this all for free but I sense at times the women here don’t always “get” you may unintentionally be misleading them into a much more difficult and risky way of doing things and may not be in their best interest and may even put themselves in serious danger of being taken advantage of and having regrets later on because of your lack of experience and I’m just trying to figure out if you really care or not…

  241. LadyGodiva28 says:

    Hey,
    Thank you for the responses English Amy and Mari. Have any of you SB’s been able to get other things taken care of like dental work? I desperately need to get some things fixed and have no insurance so this would be one of the things I’d definitately want taken care of and just overall self improveent. Also, is sex usually had immediately or is it a little bit more like traditional dating? And how does one broach the subject of money? I’m really not the type to just bring it up and I don’t want my shyness to be the reason why I get shafted. Is there a tactful way of dealing with the situation and what are some signs that he’s back tracking. Any tips will help. I really appreciate all of your comments and are so glad you’re here!

  242. Bill says:

    The girl who calls herself J – Member ID: 460854 and has the headline “Looking for a real guy”in Minneapolis is a scam artis.

    DO NOT send her money or believe anything she says. I was an idot to belive her but I want to warn all the men out there. Stay clear of this chick.

  243. I says:

    Hi,

    I am new here – so just learning the ropes and mastering the fine art of “delete” button. No dates and, subsequently, no plans.

    I have a question to the experts with arrangements offline: how would people look for it? Is it starting a regular dating and then moving towards the arrangements? ( I can see a ton “misunderstandings” in that).
    Is it finding people who know people – meaning telling someone you can trust what you are looking for and letting them to set you up with an SD? Is it being upfront with anyone who is interested in you from the first “hello”?
    Just really curious how would you set the right context for this relationship?

    Thank you.

  244. LilShyThing – you are absolutely here for the right reasons.

    Key point – enjoy yourself during the sugar process – the more fun you have with it, the more attractive you will be to potSDs. We all love to be around people who are having a great time with all they do.

    Remember, keep the BS meter cranked up to 11, and have a thick skin. You will do great.

  245. AliciaChanel says:

    Congrats lilshything!
    I’m new on here and takes time.
    I have 2 SD dates next week and I’m so excited!
    But just a tad bit nervous….

  246. lilshything says:

    Grateful to my ma for being such a wonderful mother to me, rather 😛 Fingers were moving faster than my thoughts haha

  247. lilshything says:

    B & Viking Hybrid: Thanks for making me feel a touch less crazy! And I’m actually just starting my university education, which is why I’m panicking just a touch…my parents adopted my brother and I at a much older age than most do, so I’m being hit with the big “IF” conversations at 18 and scrambling for the hills (life plans in hand). Sometimes I wish my mother wasn’t so insistent that I fly out of her nest at the soonest possible moment. Grateful, does not even to begin to describe what I feel.

    And, I’ll be damned. I got a response back. Ha. And he seems like the kind of 30-something my mother wouldn’t cringe at (wwmmd = what would my mother do. ALWAYS a great measure of judgment for me. Usually. I adjust accordingly). Into the sugar bowl I plunge!

  248. sugarbarbie says:

    My summer sugar plans consists of getting some sugar.

    Michael AZ, always wanted to go to burning man, and then last year DD was there and I really wanted to go. I’m sure you will have a blast.

  249. Viking Hybrid says:

    Morning sugars!

    @Lilshything: I agree with B. Your reasons for seeking a SD are FAR more compelling than lipstick and stilettos! (Not that those are bad reasons, if that’s what one desires at the moment.) That’s awesome that you’re going back to school, and the fact that you’re willing to one day shoulder your brother is really touching. Family home care isn’t exactly the “in” thing nowadays (hence the thousands of nursing homes and institutions), so good for you for wanting to step up. I also agree with B in that an SD doesn’t need to know everything. One should only reveal what one’s comfortable with, when one’s comfortable with it.

    @SDGuru: Keep the advice flowing! 😀 I agree when you say that one has to have thick skin here in the sugar bowl. It’s been about a month, and I’m starting to get sick of the *many* poof potSDs, Pervy Johns, game players (see below), dates that go nowhere. Whatever, I’m gonna hang in here for a bit and see if I can find someone who isn’t a flake, understands the lost art of chivalry, and enjoys altruism! You’d think in a city of over 9 million people it’d be easy to find an SD :p

    @Sasha: Good luck with your potSD! I hope it works out! If they seem interested and genuine in email/over the phone, try to meet soon. Twice I’ve back-forth emailed with guys who seem like promising potSDs, only to find out that they were just playing games the whole time. Um, we’re not looking for pen pals here!

    Anyone going to the SA party? What was the last one like?

  250. B says:

    Hi again!,

    Firstly English Amy you dont write too much. Its always great to have a flow of constant energy. I have been to Japan before and it is amazing. You have to go. The people are so friendly and it is exceptionally clean. It is one of the few cities in the world that always feels alive!

    lilshything, if anything your reasons for doing this entire arrangement thing are more validated than most others. Maybe if a SD knew your reasons he might be more generous (if he is a decent human being) but I hear what you are saying about not wanting to be pity. Firstly you have what is shaping up to be a successful life ahead of you with law school and what that holds so you shouldn’t let anyone take pity on you and secondly maybe a SD just doesn’t need to know why you need the money. What people dont know wont hurt them.

    Best,

    B

    xx

  251. English Amy says:

    And I write too much, haha, sorry!

  252. English Amy says:

    @TexasSugah – Ahhh..the sweet freedom of the holidays right? But knowing me I’ll be bored of it come mid-August! Hopefully a SD will come along a relieve me of my impending boredom :) I shall try and keep positive, thanks for the support!
    Looks like you have a lot of sugar dates to keep you occupied, hope all goes well on friday! And -extra- luck with EstablishedMen date, has -anyone- had any luck on that site?
    So, your mother knows about the sugar side of your dating but not the married side? Hmm…I might do that as well. My mum is quite accepting of the whole thing, a little worried, but otherwise okay. She would most certainly not approve of me ‘being the other woman’ though. Maybe stir clear of that particular detail!

    And SD4me guy, what a joke! Haha, you hear so many stories about these men who act like complete numpties and then act like everythings okay and you -must- still want them?? Ridiculous.

    @Alleycat – Burning Man will be epic, a friend of mine went and said it was one of the best expierences of his life, something thats almost impossible to describe. I’m very envious! Always wanted to go, hope you & your SB really enjoy yourselves!
    Its a shame they don’t have many of those sort of events in the USA, we get a lot of it in England – and great music festivals every year! We seem to love opposing the social mainstream.

    @Sasha & Natali- Sending luck your way! And I would agree with you on your advice to Natali. Especially with the unpaid for profiles you’ll find your profile won’t be at the top of any search, therefore a lot less pot. SD’s will even see it. Make sure you always have 3 photos up as this puts you higher on the search but go out scouting yourself! Make the emails short & sweet, ask them to look at your profile & get back in touch if they’re interested. No harm in asking right?

    @B – Ohh, you must tell us all about Japan!! Out of all the places in the world thats where I want to visit most. Unfortunatly its pretty far away from me and hence, very expensive.
    Hope you have a great time, and the party hosted by the Secret Boys Club sounds exciting! To be honest, I have no clue who they are, haha, but I like the sound of it. :)

    @Lady – I think the weeding out of real SD’s is something all SB’s stuggle with. Sometimes you just don’t know. Other times warning signs will go off, like if he expects sex straight away, is not willing to talk about allowance or tends to go back on his word, etc etc. I think these kinda things you just have to learn for yourself from expierence. But you can always run a pot SD by us here at the blog & I’m sure if anyone thinks he sounds dodgy they will say! Good luck

    @Lillibeth – Have you ever heard of a man being scared off by bi-sexuals? ….Just watch a few porn movies (excuse the crass link) and you’ll be convinced otherwise. I think you’ll find if you put Seeking for SD and SM it won’t effect pot SD’s interest. -But- thats just my personal opinion. I am looking for either SD’s & SM’s & have put that on my profile. I don’t believe this topic has been broached before though so would be interesting to get other peoples views.

    Questions for all:
    What do you think of bi-sexual SB’s? Has anybody had any expierence with a genuine SM?
    Does having a Premium SB account really make a difference?
    Who’s family knows of their sugar situation? And how did they react?

    Would be really interesting to hear people’s replies to these! …Maybe I should just request some blog topics? =/

  253. lilshything says:

    Morning sugarfam

    No real sugar plans this summer, I do housework most of the day, work on my art business for a few hours in there, and then on top of it all I’m responsible for an abundance of things related to my upcoming enrollment in university. But hey, I figure: work hard now, play more later. Planning on being in Columbia, SC for 4 days next week though 😀 Very excited about that.

    I’ve been really bothered by why I’m here and I think mainly because it’s so complex. For many of you, it’s because you think it’s fun or because you have bills to pay or something to that extent. Well, it’s not *just* that for me at all.It mainly has to do with family responsibility …wanting someone to help me pay my bills while I’m working and going to school is tied into it, having extra money to stash away in a savings account and to put into a trust has to do with it (but not for me)…I really don’t give two flying sh*ts about vacations and shoes, designer clothes and purses. I’m being faced with the possibility of having to watch out for and manage the life of my older brother without making him feel stupid, which he’s not…he just doesn’t have the skills to make it on his own fully…and I’d rather do this than something else to help get the resources to do so while still retaining a majority of my own autonomy for both of us (he’d be happiest that way :/). If you’re wondering why, it’s because my parents are both older and neither is in stellar health. Even if it’s not in the next four years, I still plan on going to grad school and law school…so what then? I’m the only really close family my brother has and I would -never- turn my back on him :/

    Basically, am I here for the wrong reasons? Yeah, I don’t find the assortment of frogs I encounter on a daily basis appealing companions, I’m intrigued by successful people and sure, I really am attracted to older men on the by and large, but I feel as though my motives are in the wrong place. This is the gut of the reason and I’m actually sort of… ashamed … that I don’t think I’ll be able to give him everything he wants and needs on my own when the time comes. No pot SD wants to hear that the only reason why I even thought to become a SB was because I know my brother is going to need me someday and I want to be able to make sure he’s always OK- whether I do that by my own industriousness or by that in tandem with someone else’s investments be it in time or aide.

    And I feel pitiful, too, which makes me feel 100x worse. I am -not- pitiful, nor do I want to ever be pitied for anything -ever-. Indifference is better than pity in my book.

    Thoughts, opinions, suggestions, am I totally wrong for this or is the logic of my reasoning sound enough to not make me sound money desperate and crazy? (because really, if it doesn’t happen, it doesn’t. I’d do anything it took to ensure that my brother will be taken care of regardless of whether or not an SD was anywhere in my picture)

    Wow my posts are always long. I need to learn to stop talking so much.

    Later all.

  254. Mari22ko says:

    LadyGodiva! I’m actually in the same boat as you, I was just coming on here to ask the same question… :)

    maybe we can help each other along with the help of experienced SBs.

    The feel I have gotten so far is that you really need to be genuine and kind of assertive with what you want from the relationship and what you are willing to give out to make it a balanced relationship.

    Another question I had was how many SDs are normal? Do most of you just stick with one or do you go for many?

  255. lillibeth says:

    Hi,
    I have taken a first step and browsed the site for local pot SDs, but have yet to message any of them. My goal is to get that done this weekend so I can get some things in motion sooner than later. My ideal situation is somewhat different than most as I am not looking so much for travel and gifts (as in just getting me loads of luxury stuff).

    I want to find one or two local companions to spend time with during the week when I am off and some evenings, and for that I am looking for an allowance. So it is clear we all have somewhat different goals, and hopefully we all can find someone who is looking at meeting his or her own needs by meeting ours.

    To throw something completely different into the mix. I am actually also interested in finding a SM… an older female I can spend time with and who is interested in having a discrete and ongoing quality situation and who wants to help a younger friend out financially in the process. Not even sure if it is something I should mention in a profile or here as it may get the men running for the hills.

    Input from you veterans, the men in particular?

  256. LadyGodiva28 says:

    Hey Sugars,
    I am new to the community and was so very happy to see that people use this blog. I am a fresh new baby and I am seeking guidance from a seasoned vet as far as what to expect. I find myself in need of a bit of assistance in changing my situation. I often think of what it would be like to not have money be an issue. Believe me I fantasize… but anyway I find myself wanting more out of life. I have a higher lifestyle in my mind would just like to see it more of a reality. I’d consider myself easy to please but how do you weed out the genuine SD from the sleezy? And in general what are first meetings like? Im so new and could use a friend.

  257. B says:

    Hi All,
    well it isn’t summer here in Australia, and where Im from we don’t really get winter (which upsets me as I have the most amazing winter wardrobe). Obviously then I dont have any summer plans at the moment (thought I am going to Japan for two weeks in my summer break!) but Im going to Sydney for part of my semester break, and I have been invited to an exclusive (they are claiming it to be anyway) party at The Ivy in Sydney hosted by the Secret Boys Club so that should be amazing. No sugar potential at the moment, but I did update my about me with some of the suggestions from people in the last blog. Thanks once again =]

    Best,

    B

    xx

  258. SD Guru says:

    Catching up from the previous blog. Since it’s getting late, I’ll post “The 5 Stages of Sugar” tomorrow.

    @English Amy

    I’ve been backlogging and am amazed at all the effort you’ve put in to giving people advice and answering questions.
    You really do take care of us. I hope your SB is taking care of you.

    Thanks for your kind words and yes I’m very well taken care of! :)

    @Babyblonde

    Thanks for the post asking what makes me a guru and why am I here. Weren’t you the one that said I should not over analyze things and be skeptical of others? :)

    Sugar dating has been around for ages IRL, but what makes it different now is the internet. From that perspective it’s been a fairly new phenomenon, starting with sd.com in ’03 and sa.com in ’06. Then it became part of pop culture in the past few years with numerous blogs and several books on the topic, not to mention plenty of media exposure.

    What that has done is to open up the sugar world to significantly more people than ever before, with the upside of more choices for all involved, but also the downside of dealing with those that aren’t suitable for it. As a result, we’ve seen plenty of people writing about their negative experiences and some positive ones in this blog.

    I do enjoy helping others finding their way in the sugar world to separate the reality from the fantasy. My opinion from a SD’s point of view is meant to provide a different perspective from the SB’s so that people can think about things they may not have thought of before. To the extent that some people find it useful then that’s great. It doesn’t hurt my feelings if others disagree with it or don’t like it.

    The journey in sugar world, as in life, is a continuous learning process. The sugar world is not filled with riches just for the taking, it will take hard work, patience and persistence. But the reward is obviously worth it and that’s why we’re all here!

  259. Sasha says:

    well my sugar plans this summer consist of me traveling I hope. I really want to meet the right guy and I just have a good feeling that I’m really close now. I know this is going to be the best summer yet! I do have a potential guy that I’m interested in and he has shown interest in me. We just haven’t met in person yet. So wish me good luck.

    To natali…I know that some may disagree with this advice, but I tend to plant seeds by sending some emails out. There are alot of sb’s out there for guys to choose from, but I dont think that it hurts to make the first move if you come across an intriguing profile.

  260. James.m says:

    Chitown. It’s hard being a hawks fan in red wings territory. I’m happy for Rocky, who’s taken a lot of grief from his family for the changes he’s made in the operations. I can remember going to games in chicago stadium, hull, Mikita, Esposito, et al. Go hawks!

  261. Hawks just won the Cup!!!

    I wish I was home…

    I am SO proud to be a Chicagoan. What a great game… actually, a great series.

  262. RedMaru says:

    Evening sugars – a quick shout out before I call it a night I see we have a new blog?

    Whats new in my sugarlife? Possible local sugar nothing set yet. I would love to go to the meet greet in NYC but lack the necessary funds to get there :( you know how that goes

    Michael AZ Alleycat – you get to go to Burning Man have a blast! As I live in GA my favorite lil hangout spots are downtown Decatur and Little Five Points as both are known for being pockets of artsy counter culture. Been curious about Burning Man when a Decatur resident told me about it.

  263. Natali says:

    I have yet to have someone take a serious interest in me/my profile. Granted I do not have a paid profile, but if I had interest I would upgrade. What does everyone do to get interest from a SD? Also I am a bit nervous about the first phone contact. What is the proper things to talk about in that first conversation? I am looking for someone who is willing to fly me to them and help me to be able to stay there. Do you think this is possible to find?

    I appreciate all the help! I would love to find someone to email back and forth on as a mentor. Natalilaroux at yahoo dot com.

  264. Michael AZ Alleycat says:

    BabyBlonde – high praise indeed, thank you! Even when things aren’t so great, I make sure I (and those around me) are having the best time. We all have our own story, mine is no more special than anyone else’s. I have just processed it a bit differently.

    Who would you rather be? Eyeore or Tigger? It is actually a really simple decision, but a really hard one to look in the face.

    My business coach once said to me that “we are the otters of the universe – we are here to have fun.” It is absolutely your own call and your own decision. What is your decision? Eyeore? Tigger? Otter?

    Either way, being an Alleycat also has it’s own pleasures…..

  265. babyblonde says:

    Alleycat ~ You always sound like you are having the best time!!! You bring your sunshine to the blog. LOL I heard Burning Man is quite the event and I’d rather go to that than another “event”. Hope you have a blast.

  266. FrayedEdges says:

    What can one expect from the SA party?

    If I wasn’t learning of it so late, I’d be interested to go… that is if I’d find somebody to go with me.

  267. Michael AZ Alleycat says:

    Hey TexasSugah – have not been to Burning Man before but have wanted to go for many years. I love counter-culture events and festivals but I find very few of them in the USA. I think there is a total lack of understanding bordering on fear about counterculture in general in the US, which I find really perplexing.

    I participated in many in Australia, and either submitted or bought pieces in lots of events, but there is very little here.

  268. sb-emy says:

    Current Sd is offering to foot all my medical bills. I’ve sent him invoices (already paid on my credit card) for contacts, specialist fees and for medicine. SO all is good, wouldn’t have afforded the above otherwise, it happens to be that the current bill is more than my allowance for the week, so I appreciate his generosity.

    unfortunately, there’s a lot of time to go before I can afford “plastic surgery” by a certified sugar daddy. haha…

    hope everyone is well!

  269. TexasSugah says:

    @ Michael.. Oh you’ll have a great time at Burning Man. Never been but have heard wonderful things about it. I love artsy, avant garde expressions of life and feelings.

    She’ll get a real kick out of it. Have you been?

  270. TexasSugah says:

    Hi all….

    @ English Amy – Sounds like we’re in the same profession. I’m off too and have plenty of time to play. Good luck sweetheart.. keep positive.

    As to the questions…

    What’s new in your sugarlife? Been sugar searching? Had any interesting dates?

    My SD came to the “rescue” and made a deposit. I have been sugar searching a bit, just in case he flakes or what have you but he says he’s worried about me being tired of him.

    I have a maybe date tomorrow and a definite one on Friday with the same potSD. He gave me a gift at brunch which was just enough to purchase something I really wanted. And a sugar date on Monday.. from the dreaded EstablishedMen.com LOL

    What is in your summer sugar plans?

    My summer plans are to hopefully pay off some marital debt and take a couple of trips. The great thing about it is that I’ve got my mother in on it. She is ULTRA conservative and has no idea that these guys are attached. Both are married but don’t live with their spouses. Like different states, both don’t want to give up half. Whatever.. Today she heard me checking on a 1k deposit to do some shopping. She’s totally fine..she might do a little babysitting for me to go on sugar dates (no fooling around.. LOL)

    Well, it finally happened.. I happened upon an unmedicated dude. So I met him on SD4me. I explained that I didn’t want a traditional relationship. I guess he thought he could convert me. He asked me 5 times what my needs are “numbers and due dates” he said. So I gave him a ball park figure.. VERY LOW because I would only see him once a month for an allowance. He WENT OFF on me. Suddenly I was like all other women who wanted men to take care of them.. WHAT?

    Come to find out he wanted a wife.. ok and that’s going to be cheaper? Ahhh no.. He spiraled around and around.. calling me out of my name and then finally when I calmly told him about his unstable behavior he had the nerve to say “so are we going to meet?”

    *shakes head*.. pitiful

  271. Michael AZ Alleycat says:

    Planning an interesting date in a couple of months – taking SB to Burning Man. Not quite a 5-star event, but waaaaay interesting and fun.

  272. English Amy says:

    Oh and did anyone go to the SA Party?
    Would love to hear what it was like and whether it helped any SB or SD find sugar?
    Brandon said he might put on one in London which would be fantastic.
    Anyone from the UK who would be interested in a London SA Party? Apart from me of course :)

  273. English Amy says:

    @Michael
    Riding horses up in the Arizona peaks…sounds pretty amazing! I’ve actually never ridden a horse.
    Must put it on my to do list!
    Glad you enjoyed yourself.

  274. Michael AZ Alleycat says:

    Interesting dates? Hmmm. Last week I watched my SB teach international level dressage classes up in the Arizona mountains. Great few days.

    Stayed at a fantastic resort up there too – great food and wine to go along with the dust and horse poo.

  275. English Amy says:

    Well I for definite will be getting my sugar on in a major way this summer. I have a small holiday booked to Italy with the family but otherwise I have nearly 3 months to spare!
    I wouldn’t mind finding an SD to go somewhere exotic with. I need a good dose of sun and sand.
    Heres hoping!

  276. English Amy says:

    Wow, first to comment!

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