8 years ago
Searching for Sugar

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Searching for sugar is done in many ways on SA – some rely mostly on incoming messages, while others actively search for new sugars; sending the initial messages and gaining a pool of potential sugar.

Searching for sugar can be a very rewarding activity, yet the top voted piece of advice from fellow Sugar Daddies and Babies is simple: patience. Making improvements to your profile descriptions and photos is the #1 way to boost your odds, and so is learning how to communicate with sugars effectively.

How would describe your ideal sugar candidate?

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126 Responses to “Searching for Sugar”

  1. Sweets says:

    I am very new to the sugar world. I always wished something like this would happen to me, never realizing the effort. While I have never been a sugar baby before, I know that with the right SD the experience will be wonderful! So needless to say, I know exactly what I’m looking for. Someone intelligent, successful, and within the same state. Someone who isn’t expecting me to be there daily. Someone who is discreet, low maintainence, financially stable, and is able to be a friend/mentor. Basically, a great supportive friend who doesn’t mind helping out financially. I’m not sure if this person exists, but I’m willing to find out!!

  2. Blasian SB says:

    I hear all of you. Patience is necesary. I get alot of views to my profile but very few messages. But I must say the few messages I’ve received are of good quality. I’ve only been here a week. A first timer. I’m often told I’m eye candy, very aware of my assets and intuned to what make men tick. So I’ve been doing this technique for as long as I can remember. I simply had different motives.

    I narrowed my options down to 3. A main one and two supplements.

    POT SD (A) wants a live in girlfriend. I told him I like my freedom and privacy so that’s not what I want. It didn’t scare him away. He simply said okay, let’s just take it day by day and go from there.

    POT SD (B) turned out in the second phone conversation to be the ideal. He’s fairly young, though. Only a few years older than me, which made me a alittle suspicious of his legitimacy. But in the second conversation he gave me alot of background information and his family, mentors, and how he became successful. I impressed him by not wanting to discuss allowance when he asked in our first conversation. He said at that point he knew he was dealing with a classy woman and wanted to make sure he didn’t say anything wrong to mess things up with me. So we both were thinking the same thing, though not realizing it.

    I am successful in my career but have no problem in enhancing my lifestyle and achieving my future goals quicker via a generous LTR SD. Which was another pro he like about me… this is a choice not necessity. He was also happy that I was interested in getting to know him. He’s average looking, shorter than i care for but very intelligent and nonchalante about it, very down to earth. His upfront budget is double the amount I set as a ‘work up to’ allowance. Most importantly, he get’s it and doesn’t mind enhancing my life via gifts as well as allowance.

    I believe he would be interested in eventually making this exclusive, which is okay with me. I told him I couldn’t meet him until next weekend. He called and asked if it’s any way I can make it sooner. Then I said no because I was going out of state. Now I dont feel like travelling. So of course I will call him in a few days to tell him I cancelled my trip just to meet with him.

    He has a business meeting in my area next week and will be here the weekend prior. We initially agreed to meet for dinner. But he found out I’ve haven’t been to Vegas (which is a shame since I’ve lived in Italy, France, Qatar, Dubai, Virgin Islands) and asked if it’ll be okay to fly me there for our first date. I said oaky. But I think I will change it back to let’s meet first. Break the ice over a nice lunch or dinner in my area (not my house, a 2hr drive). Then I will discuss his generous donation as an investor in the business I’m purchasing;) I believe it’s all about the wording. I’m still cautious, because you never know what people will try to do after the fact. So I will tell you how things went..

    POT SD (C) Gold mine, just over double my age. As a matter of fact he’s actually very handsome. You can tell he lived a very good life, still fit (just impotent) and took care of himself. I thought his profile was fake. But was curious. So I called the number he sent. Seems much younger than his actual age. He had me laughing the entire time we talked. He’s looking for a companion / beneficiary. So that’s scheduled for the first week in August because of my travel schedule.

  3. I have been browsing all over the place for this info… I’m sure delighted somebody genuinely has the reply to a real elementary problem. You’ve simply no idea how many www sites I have already been to during the last hour. Thank you for the insight

  4. ViVi says:

    Hello SA world! I am new to SA and was hoping someone can give me pointers… PLEASEEE

  5. Just sent u an email Shoogar

  6. Ssparrow: Send an email here: shoogar at nycsugarmeet dot com.

  7. SoaringSparrow – this meet is not tied in with SA at all. It is one that I am planning together with a SD. Some of us bloggers have gotten together in the past and organized our own little intimate meets in various cities. (I have been to two: Toronto and Euro…they were both a BLAST!) These little ‘blogger meets’ have been hugely successful and wonderful, lasting friendships have been the result! I am not publicizing the details here, but if you click on my name and email me via my blog, I can give you more information and we can work on getting you on the list. :)

  8. Shoogar- I am serious about the meet but I dont know the dates? YOu mean you close the RSVP JUNE 1st? Or you’ve already closed it infact on May 1?? The last one was the 4th, right? sorry (confused)

  9. Soaring Sparrow – if you are serious about attending NYC Meet, I need to know asap as we closed the RSVP on May 1st and have given a head count to the venue(s). Please get in touch with me and let me know. thank you!

  10. minnSB says:

    Midwest – I appreciate your motherly advice :) I hope I’ll find my perfect SD one day! Hopefully soon…

    VC – You are correct, the “minn” stands for Minnesotah. Only the best place to be (minus the 9 months of winter! lol)

  11. So:

    Ill begin with explaining how this weekend with my POT went.

    As I told you guys Friday morning, I was SUPER nervous about meeting this guy but was quickly put at ease after the first 10 seconds. He is TRULY sweet and a GIANT teddy bear. (literally) which was a gift and later come to find out…a curse. We’ll refer to this man and GTB.

    We had an awesome night when her got here! He stayed at one of the top hotels in the city, made reservations at one of my favorite restaurants and the wine, conversation, and rapport flowed seamlessly.
    When I say he was sweet, and a total gentleman I MORE than mean it, people…long story short: by the 3rd day it was almost a bit annoying. He was very clingy, walked EVERYWHERE with his hand somewhere on my person at ALL times as if guiding his grandma cross the street, told me how beautiful I was EVERY 5 seconds and even told me he missed me when I got back to his hotel (as I didnt stay with him..((the first night)) Furthermore this brings up the topic perfectly of what I do and do not want in an SD-

    First and foremost I do not want an SD who wants a girlfriend. GTB was (overly) into me and made it known. Which was sweet but incredibly unnecessary and somewhat of a turnoff. I am a girl who still likes a bit of a challenge whether in regular dating OR sugar dating.. If you tell me right off the bat how ‘amazing’ you think I am it takes the fun out of me trying to please you (not just sexually)

    Second: I want an SD that actually LOOKS like someone I would normally date..which doesn’t really say a lot but (out of fear of sounding shallow) I don’t want people staring at us thinking “he must have money” or “what the hell is he doing with her/vice versa) I am in fact drawn to and have always been in ‘out of the norm’ relationships whether interracially or out of my age bracket but EVERYTHING made me sooo uncomfortable when we were out exploring the city..He being the Giant that he is made me really self conscious which I later explained to him. He told me it wasn’t just US people were looking @ but more so his height…that made me feel more comfortable but his blatant PDA almost gave me a panic attack.. Now I am a very affectionate, loving, touchy person but he was going overboard on the chivalry (something I never thought I’d say)

    Ease of transaction: I want an SD who ‘gets it’ like most of you have said and doesn’t make the giving of sugar awkward. JUst get it out of the way up front so we can enjoy the rest of our time together without that aspect looming over us or without my having to keep reminding you.

    I guess these three days were a HUGE crash course in what to and not to do while sugar dating. Everything happens for a reason and I think I will be a more savvy sugarbaby in the future. That is not to say I will never see him again bc I think I will…finding the prefect anything takes time and I think I will continue to keep my ear to the ground and my eyes on the posts.

    In conclusion, *No Strings Attached* is the best way to go for me.

    O btw…he’s texted me 4 times 2day. le sigh

  12. Hey Sugarfam! There is SOOOO much to catch up on…Looks like Im going to be here a while reading up on what everyone has to say
    Just a quick note: I would LOVE to come to the NYC meet next month..I am TOTALLY there. My weekend with my pot was…..”interesting” to say the least…I’ll elaborate after I catch up on my reading…

    Hope everyone had an AWESOME weekend. It was smoldering here in Chicago today..laid out on my roof then grilled with some friends…I look forward to chatting with you all soon as the Currency video definitely left me wanting more…

    Can we PLEASE talk to someone about starting an iphone app?? It’d be sooo much easier to keep up with you guys! lol

  13. babyblonde says:

    Just trying out my new avatar hope it works.

  14. babyblonde says:

    Lily That sounds amazingly like a plan! 😀

    Thanks for the Gravatar I guess I missed it and just as I was scrolling down the page, there it was and from you! Thank you. Good luck with your pot SD I hope it all works out wonderfully!! Keep us posted.

  15. xssharon says:

    Hi there! I am new to this whole SD/SB thingy. I am only 19 years old, and I’m hoping to go to university, and some financial support in exchange for intimacy and a growing bond. That’s why I’ve decided to join seekingarrangements! 😀
    My type of S/D would be:
    5’6 – 6’2… I am only 5’3, and tiny!
    Fit
    Generous, established, stable, nice teeth, kind, caring, wants to spoil their SB.
    I don’t care if they are married or single. I can deal with being a mistress, or long term commitment.
    I don’t care if they are balding or white hair, but they have to be FIT. It’s hard for me to be attracted to a man with a pot belly. Plus, I love to work out. He must be funny, and understand people’s feelings. I can pick up vibes easily, and am sensitive to peoples aura’s. I don’t know why I am like this, but it might have been my past acid trips hahaa! He must be powerful, and have a lot of connections!
    Tehehe
    xoxo

  16. Lily says:

    You guys are right. I’m going to use the business class ticket he bought me, it was a no-expectations gesture anyways, and I’ll meet him, go out with him, and lay it out up front to his face what my plans for using an allowance were, and ask him straight to his face if he wants to consider being a silent investor as well as a non-exclusive generous boyfriend, and if so then I’m thrilled to put his generosity to help me realize my dreams, and if he’s not, then I’m sorry but I can’t clear out my schedule for so many days, regularly, just to jetset with him, because I’m not in a position, financially, to just spend so much time playing and partying with him.
    That type of relationship, sans any support, will distract me from establishing myself, and take me further from my goals rather than speeding up the process. He has to see that logic and if he calls me mercenary, and looking for a transaction, or worse, then I know he’s just not the type of guy for me.

    But boy can I use the 9 days in NYC to party with NYC SB & Muse & AM, and all the NYC meet people (dates coincide)!!! And maybe, just maybe, a few potSDs if the date with the original potSD in NYC says no.

  17. babyblonde says:

    Sweettooth thanks ~ I tried it and still I get the same response profile not available. I am logged in. Bummer.

    Lily I have a lot of experience with rich men and trying the same thing, I wasted a lot of time on people who took advantage of my time when I could have been sharing it with people who had no issues with spending money on me. Not only that, I usually got so let down and frustrated that it made it harder to get up and try again. It’s not hard to get bitter. I have found along the way that it is better to stick with people who support me on my path and have my best interests in mind if you want to last in this arena.

    Personally I believe you are sending him the wrong message about you and the SB world if you go for free. That’s the kind of stuff that makes guys like him think he doesn’t have to come up with financing and if you don’t agree he may toss you aside and for another starryeyed SB. Their are plenty of them. Men know how to play that card well. In fact many men that is all they do and that’s how they keep a fresh supply of women. Please be careful where you place your affections. Before you meet with him you should know what he can and can’t do for you. Some guys just feel that women should come to them because of who they are and not what they give and they are never going to change. I pick and choose carefully who I spend my time with because I know how easily I can be turned off to games and that would hinder my ability to answer emails and connect with other pot SD’s that want someone who hasn’t been raked over. You don’t need me to tell you what to do but I just thought I’d say that because I’ve seen a lot of women do that and I wanted to say that to everyone else here too.

    Maybe he is willing to entice you with some high end shopping he is willing to commit too or some other way you can know you are coming away from this. You can always make jokes about it like “Well if I go to NYC I know I’m going to want to check out Tiffany’s and buy a Prada bag and maybe do some shopping on 5th ave, I can’t see going all the way out there and missing out on that maybe that would work better for us instead of giving me money I would really appreciate that” or where ever you like to shop.

  18. sweettooth says:

    Midwest SB~Thanks for that address you mentioned to ESB. I have never heard of it, I will check it out. Does it also do blurring in photos? I like that much more than the big black square across my eyes haha..and I would love to have more than one photo posted

  19. sweettooth says:

    BabyBlonde~I’m not sure if you are still having trouble viewing male links from this blog but if so, try doing what one of the past bloggers posted. Be signed into your account, scroll across the name you want to click on, For example Stormcat, and at the bottom of the blog page in the left hand corner (where it usually says DONE) you will see his web address and numbers at the very end. Take those numbers and apply it to another males web address in address bar at the top of their profile. that should work. If you already figured it out great…if not and this is still giving you trouble lmk and I can try and help more. It took me a few times to figure it out as well:)

  20. ESB says:

    OK, this is just way to funny.. made some changes to my profile this morning, and now have 2 emails that I can’t see because I’m in pending… life is wonderful!!

    Gotta go start my day. BG wants to go spend the gift certificate I got for Mother’s day…. I made my weight goal!! I wanted to hit this weight by June 1, hit it yesterday… I think we can thank last weeks episode for this!! Couldn’t eat for a few days…

    OH!! I changed my cell #, after he texted me 2 more times, had it changed with in 10 minutes of the last one… it was so easy, so if anyone needs to do that, Verizon will do it for free on their web sight, and only takes a few minutes… but now I have to contact Dr’s, schools, and other’s I don’t stay in contact with daily to let them know of the change… what a PAIN!! but I feel safer now! so I guess it’s all good!!

    HUGS!!

  21. ESB says:

    Midwest: Thank you darling. I’ve never heard of it… I’ll do that when I get a chance.

    Sweet Juls: You had alot to say ^^ up there.. and I agree with most of it, but I think an arrangement is what we make of it. Not so cut and dried as you stated. I know of at least 2 bloggers who have found that elusive “match” that I, for one, would like to find someday. Someone who will turn into my full time lover, not just a benefactor. I am a big romantic at heart, believe in love, and hope to someday find someone who is willing to show me what undying love is. Someone who shows me daily that I am the treasure he’s always been looking for… but I know that is rare, and I want to have fun in the mean time looking for it… fun.. with out danger!!

    Could really use an SD right now to pay for my car repairs… as much as I’m starting to hate that thing, gonna miss my Baby this week!! Seriously, should an ’05 be having this much trouble??

  22. Lisa says:

    Good morning everyone. It’s so nice to sleep late on a sunday. I don’t have to be at work till 12. Sucky thing is that I have to start working some evenings because we have a theft problem at the store with someone coming in and stealing entire displays of cosmetics. They are too cheap to hire security or have a camera and expect me to watch and catch thieves. I’m not going to do anything that will get me shot at the bus stop. I live in a great neighborhood for now but the one I work in is pure ghetto.

    And I agree the anti allowance guy is not likely to change.

    Gotta have some coffee now.

  23. Midwest SB says:

    Morning sugars!

    Lily – This may sound a bit harsh, but I feel like you are slipping. You have lots of prospects, so stop trying fit a round peg into a square hole. If NYC guy doesn’t want to pay an allowance, it’s highly unlikely he will change his mind. You have to trust he knows what he wants. I have plenty of faith in your charm and intrigue, but you are dealing with a very successful businessman who has predicted your every move and knows when he’s being influenced! If he wants a traditional, non-monogamous relationship, then you need to decide if that will work for you and stop trying to manipulate it. If it’s not, I’m sure one of your prospects will be a wonderful allowance daddy. I have to say the tone of your last posts have been all about Lily…how much money a guy is capable of offering you, etc. Relax and let them be inspired to help you. Set your goals and stick to them. Weed out the ones who don’t immediately match up to what you are seeking and give the rest your full attention. One will rise to the top far beyond your wildest dreams. Temper the expectations. You know I respect you and enjoy your enthusiasm…just hoping to keep you from spending time in less productive efforts. (((hugs))))

    ESB – Download the Picaso software program. It’s free, very user friendly and great for cropping, editing photos. Let me know if I can help you in any way!

  24. ESB says:

    Good Morning Sugar Family!! Wanted to say hi before I started to catch up. Just deleted some of my pictures, only have one now, kinda far from me so my face doesnt’ show as much. Being super cautious now. Once I figure out how to crop the pictures, I’ll add some back, but just dont’ want anyone to recognize me right now.

    I hope everyone is having a wonderful weekend!! My part time job turned full time on Fri. The girl I was waiting to go on maturnity leave was told she had to a month early!! I’m still in trainging, but am happy for full time employment! My first pay check is going to fix my brakes. Always something! Goingn to down grade this week, driving my son’s Civic ’til I can replace my brakes… they are grinding something awful right now!!!

  25. Lily says:

    it’s gravatar dot com

    So I had a great night last night with potSD but now I’m thinking that this is SO AWKWARD for starting an arrangement on a monthly basis with allowance, if he thinks at any time he may have to end it if he and his ex-gf get back together. I guess all I can do is go ahead and ask, when June gets a wee bit closer.

    I have a very interested potSD, an american, here in Europe in a country I’ve always wanted to explore. We spoke on the phone for two hours yesterday. Nice and pleasant, warm and intelligent. So that’s cool. He’s very amenable to a long distance arrangement. We scheduled a date in two weeks.

    I have another potSD who is soon flying me to NYC to see him but he is anti-allowance, anti “arrangement.” However, he’s filthy rich and single and open to a non-monogomous relationship including flying me in style to NYC regularly to visit with him. He calls/texts/emails incessantly and can’t stop gushing about how much he can’t wait to fly me to him at the start of June. It’s only about ten days away so I’ll just see how it goes when we meet, but here’s my question. How would I get this guy to consider financial assistance as part of the relationship?

    He says “no allowance” but I think he just doesn’t want a transaction. A set monthly payment, because it kills his joy, for whatever reason. I don’t think he has yet realized that dating me from Europe is going to actually require some financial support. The time and energy I take away from my life and career here, to jet over to play with him at his various homes and such, is going to be such that it wouldn’t be fair at all for him to get regularly involved and not help out. Plus I’m looking for start-up capital (that I don¨’t have to pay back or give shares in my company in exchange for, lol) so if he’s sitting on a mountain of money and seeing that i need some funding to help realize my goals, and we’re somewhat of a couple, why on earth wouldn¨’t he offer to put some seed money into my business, kwim? I’m sure he’d see it that way, and not feel ‘worked over’ as he imagines SDs in actual arrangements to be, but how do I get him to see it that way asap, like after the first get together so that some sugar starts flowing into my account as soon as we agree on a second meeting (assuming there’s a spark and we hit it off)….?

  26. babyblonde says:

    Stormcat I think it’s another link hmm…I’m going to check on google see if anything comes up.

  27. babyblonde says:

    Stormcat Thanks I have tried from the home page logged in and even logged out and every male profile but no luck. I also tried from every page I could find the link to the blog logged in and logged out. I can see the women’s links with no problem.
    Thanks for the info on the avatar!

  28. Stormcat says:

    OC SB ~ Congrats on having a blog of your own. I bookmarked it and I’ll eventually become a follower once someone else does it first. I just didn’t want to have the privledge of being your first follower. That should be reserved for a selected friend.

  29. Stormcat says:

    Oh the icon pic thing is done by downloading a pic to a seperate site I think it is avatardotcom then pasting that link into the website slot of the blog’s posting form. You only need to post once with that link then your avatar will attach. unless you change it. then you have to post again.

  30. Stormcat says:

    Baby Blond ~ I got that too in the beginning then I realized that you have to log on to SA and enter the blog from the SA homepage. After that the profiles are available when you click on the name link in the blog.

  31. babyblonde says:

    Question: Why can’t I see any of the SD profile links here? It always says Profile Not Available.

    And how can I post a little icon pic? ;0)

    Thanks!
    And thanks for the breakdown NYC SB. That’s pretty much my requests but I haven’t mentioned any Louboutin’s yet.

  32. Midwest SB says:

    OC has her own blog? Verrrryyyyy Innnterrresting *** in my worst Pink Panther impression EVER!***

    Lily – so sorry sweetie! One down…one will rise to the top!

    NYC – Nice! Pearl Jam would be a blast!

    Hi all! Second attempt at The Hurt Locker…Seven Pounds following. I know, I know…no sugar tonight :(

  33. SouthernGent2 says:

    Ideal sugar candidate? Well…………..hot, fun personality, always smiles, younger than 27, size 4 or smaller, has a good job, never complains, never asks for assistance, sexually playful. Yeah, that is a good start to at least make my initial criteria 😉

  34. I hear ya, it’s never easy..
    Well, my sugar hunt is far from perfect, but it’s starting to get better.. I’m hopeful :)

  35. Lily says:

    I’m great. just still in search of that elusive *perfect* arrangement. :)
    I have a couple of ongoing sugars, but nothing that really checks all the boxes, yet. A bit of luck is all I need for one of these zillion potentials to pan out!

    How are you? Finding a SM yet?

  36. Heya, I’m good :) just getting settled in London.. did you have fun in Paris? How are you doing Lil?

  37. Lily says:

    Hiya Eric! How are you, indeed??

    It’s ok, he wasn’t/isn’t my only potential sugar for this summer. :)

    I have such high hopes for several NYC potSDs that seem so seriously interested, but as NYC SB pointed out, I may have to hope for a long time before anything pans of it.

  38. Anna Molly says:

    Hi Eric! How have you been? :)

    Sorry about SD Lily :(

  39. Lily says:

    NYC SB – great post.

    Damn bad news with IRL SD and our date. Date was awesome, a few hot kisses during dinner and drinks, but then he dropped the bomb that he and his ex girlfriend may be getting back together and if that happens he won’t have any other ‘things on the side.’

    Sigh. I thought he was gon’ be all mine. He already has sugared me up properly for the second half of May so I’m feeling obligated to continue to be his SB for another week until we face the June 1st issue and what to do about a month-to-month arrangement, but now all my interest is gone because I fear pouring energy into a relationship that will suddenly get pulled out from under me. I’m almost thinking of avoiding him the rest of the month and just looking elsewhere. I won’t actually do that, he’ll get a little more of my time and affections this month, especially because I like it too, but my heart and enthusiasm is out of it, and I strongly suspect I have zero negotiation power for asking what I need for a monthly level of support to begin flowing June 1 if he thinks he’s on the brink of cutting things off with me at any time. :/

  40. NYC SB says:

    Good morning guys!

    Had a lovely evening last night with NYC exSD. We went to the Pearl Jam concert and had a blast. I miss fun like that.

    Which brings me to the topic at hand. What does this SB want? To quote Chris Rock “What do women want? EVERYTHING…. EVERYTHING… EVERYTHING”

    1) Financial Stability – if your budget is $300 per meeting… sorry I am not the gal for you… I will NOT be in an arrangement where the allowance is less than 5k. Allowance should be paid timely and without the awkwardness. That covers the financial part… now onto the stability. Stability means he is not looking for a new SB every 3 months. This is usually the case with NYC SDs. (May be the reason why Lily is having difficulties landing one)

    2) Mentoring – Waldorf exSD did this wonderfully. He taught me so much and invested in my dream. He is getting a nice return and hopefully it will get better with time. Point being – I want to learn from my SD.

    3)Chemistry – I want to want my SD… I want to want to spend time with him and look forward to the next time. A click is necessary

    4) No drama – I almost dont want to know about his life outside of our arrangement. I do not want to meet his kids nor be introduced as new mommy.

    5) Louboutins – lots of them….

  41. Katie says:

    Hey guys good morning! How are you all?

    Im meeting a pot SD today so excited!

  42. Stormcat says:

    My name is Stormcat and I’m addicted to^ addicted to^ addicted to^ . . .
    :) :) :)

    Guru ~ To say that a relationship other than NSA & No Drama does not qualify as an arrangement completely misses the point of arrangements. The point is that an arrangement is exactly any and every thing that the parties agree it to be I happen to want a little more from my SB. For me it’s not about sex with a pretty woman or showing off by always appearing with arm candy. It is about companionship with someone who challenges me, who I can admire, and who is interested in my life. Neither SDs or SBs are perfect. I happen to be a person who is occasionally emotionally fragile and I am looking for an SB who kisses my wounds and buoys my spirits up when I come in from doing battle. I also like to feel that I can make a difference in someones live by positioning them early to succeed by removing the millstone of debt that plagues so many in their youth. How can an arrangement that satisfies these characteristics be immune from drama? How can it not have some level of commitment and continuity. I realize that there are not that many SBs out there that are wanting that in their arrangement. So it’s a more arduous process to reach. But rarity of individual characteristics shouldn’t be the determinative issue in whether the relationship it categorically characterized as an arrangement.

  43. Sweet Juls says:

    Shuga land and Dad D’s: I have been sugar surfing for a little over a year and as much as I would like to say this is for everyone the reality is IT’S NOT! Many, emphasis on many, men and women simply do not understand the many different dynamics to this type of situation. Typically this should NOT be thought of in any way as a relationship. If you are looking for a relationship, which consist of some level of interdependence, this is not for you. If you expect your emotions or opinions to influence the emotions and opinions of the person you are with then that is called marriage. This is an arrangement and sugarland is simply a facilitator to help make that arrangement possible. Thanks SL!! With all that said…
    You must be very clear, either here or on the first initial meet up, what your intentions are and what it is that you looking for.
    This is the hard part because most of us, unfortunately, still have a taboo surrounding this type of arrangement. Let’s make this real clear for all SD/SB this is not a pay for sex situation. Men you are not pimps…ladies you are not escorts. Take the stigma out of it! This is no different then giving to a local non for profit organization that promotes a cause in which you are passionate about.
    Ladies…it may not feel good to be at the bottom…it may suck out loud to have to ask for help, but remember what you are truly looking for is an investor. Someone who will invest not only their money but also their time in your future success. For instance, if you are in school and just can’t make end’s meet what your SD is investing in is your future career. Think about your own dad’s. Remember how they use to tell you if you I’ll pay the car payment you pay the insurance…if your grades fall then you will have to get a JOB to pay the car payment.
    Men…it may feel good to have some sort of financial authority over your SB…it may make you feel like you are owed for your investments, but remember you are not a pimp you don’t take a percentage of the investment and your SB is not obligated to anything. So as you should be, give with an open heart not with the intent of return but with compassion for your struggling SB. Your compassion will immediately triple your returns.
    Law of attraction. This is challenging too because most of us regardless of knowing still have instilled in us The Law of Attraction. On some level, depending on your arrangement, this is important. Make no mistake it stops at the physical part only! If you have nothing in common but your physically attracted to one another maybe mental attraction isn’t part of your arrangment. It is perfectly okay to listen. Ladies…especially…there is a art to listening…many of the SD need an out put not just physically, but mentally too. Your arrangement should be built off your ability to listen…not talk. Think of your time together as a progress report not a chance to enhance your “connection” but a time to enlighten your SD on how well or not so well his investments are doing. Going back to the school girl, your SD needs to know that the money that he is giving you is taking care of your needs and that you are able to achieve your personal goals. Your common interest are the ones that the arrangement is built around…nothing else.
    Diamond in the rough. This happens! It’s not common, but it happens. On occasion a SD/SB arrangment may evolve into a more long term “relationship”. Ladies, if you are expecting this after a couple of months, then I must restate this is NOT for you. A SD may invest so much time into his SB that the pretty women scenario takes place. Over time and investment he may reshape your views, caviot, and perception of the world. He has refined you into something that you would have never been without him. Because you have allowed him to make you over you are now his iconic women. You have evolved from baby to child, child to girl, girl to women, and very rarely women to wife. But again I have to repeat this is NOT the norm, it is the exception to the rule! Do NOT expect this, but if it happens be gracious and grateful that you have shown not only your SD but the world that you are the ultimate return to this particular man’s investment.
    Most importantly have fun! Be open minded! If you have morals, stick to them! Don’t be bitter or begrudge your SD or SB because they don’t perform the way you want them to. Always, always remember this is a business venture not a marriage marathon. Search yourself and be confident about asking for help. Both Dad-D’s and Babe’s should always be tactful, respectful, and gracious. Most importantly do not be afraid to speak up, including saying no to your SD or your SB.

    Hugs x0x0
    Juls

  44. Anna Molly says:

    Good morning! 😀

    Lots of good thing going on for our blog SBs!!! YAY!! Good Luck and I can’t wait to hear all the juicy details…lol 😀

    Have a good Saturday!!….XOXOXO

  45. Midwest SB says:

    Hi Red!!! How’s GA? I miss being there. How have you been?

  46. RedMaru says:

    Tea, soup and the blog!

  47. VillaCypris says:

    hahaha :)

    Yes, I should!

    Saw Hurt Locker last summer with a friend of mine who is a Major in the Army and has served three tours in Iraq. Quite a stunning film, we thought.

  48. RedMaru says:

    Morning sugarfam! Lily keep us posted on your date may it be sweet

  49. Midwest SB says:

    ***come****

    Ah…coffee and the blog :-)

    Is it too early to watch The Hurt Locker?

  50. Midwest SB says:

    Have a great time Lily!!

    Hiya VC and JSB! VC – you must coje to Chitown soon!

    Hmmmm…it looks like I have a child-free 4-day weekend coming up. Oh SD!!!!!

  51. VillaCypris says:

    Lily – a.k.a. HOT 😉

    enjoy! hope it goes well 😀

  52. Meeting potSD for drinks. Can’t wait! It’s been 10 days since we met!

  53. VillaCypris says:

    Hi JSB – have fun! Safe travels to you on your trip :)

  54. VillaCypris says:

    SD Guru – must say I agree with you… the gross misrepresentation in which the vast majority of persons engage is one of my greatest frustrations with the ‘online’ world.

  55. JSB says:

    Morning Everyone!!!

    Just about to head up north for a few days for a fun getaway with one of my besties.

    My name is JSB, and I to am addicted to the blog…I am going to be in withdrawl this weekend but hope to read some spicy stories upon my return.

    Hope everyone has a fantastic weekend!

  56. VillaCypris says:

    minnSB – does the “minn” denote the fact that you are in MINNesota? just curious, as I am, (too).

  57. VillaCypris says:

    Good morning Midwest!

    was nice chatting with you last night 😉

  58. Midwest SB says:

    Morning sugars…I’m Midwest SB and I’m addicted to the blog :-)

    MinnSB – Hopefully you two are genuinely enjoying each other’s company and it’s a moot point. If not, and it’s just about the quid pro quo, it may be time to up your search while making sure he feels respected and appreciated. During the transition, I wouldn’t ask for anything above & beyond what you have agreed upon. I understand needs and trying to get out of a bad situation financially, but it doesn’t always justify lack of chemistry or honesty. Sugar is about so much more and I hope that one day you get to experience the amazing benefits a sugar daddy can offer. With that, I hope you find great pleasure in both accepting his help, mentoring, and company as well as reciprocating. In the end, it’s up to you to do what you feel is right. Please know I’m not judging…only offering a little motherly advice.

    Congrats Ashes! Read the archives and you will find lots of priceless information. If you have specific questions, we’ll be happy to help!

  59. Ashes84 says:

    Hello New and interesting world… I am new to this and think I got a SD tonight off a site that I have been a member on for awhile. Any new comers rules or advice you can pass on??

  60. JSB says:

    SD Guru – It is actually important and I thought that when I was talking to pots who had athetlic listed in their profile it went without saying…obviously not so I just actually added it in lol

    I think it is important to take care of your mind, body and soul

  61. SD Guru says:

    JSB, what you described with the “athletic” pot is one of the most common problems with online sugar dating. Which is, some people mis-represent themselves in their profile.

    I understand a little emblishment here or a little white lie there may not be a big deal. But what it comes down to is when you meet in person you’d expect to meet the person as represented in his/her profile. But in reality it doesn’t happen as often as it should.

    How does one misrepresent him/herself? Let me count the ways:

    – Appearance. You’d expect to meet the person in the photos, not somebody who looks significantly different in person.

    – Age. You’d expect to the person to be within a few years of the age in the profile, not off by a decade or more.

    – Personal situation. You’d expect what they say about their work, family, background, experience, etc to be close to reality.

    Interestingly, in your post about the ideal SD candidate, you made no mention of physical fitness. So, be honest with yourself, how important is it to you?

  62. minnSB says:

    MidwestSB : I hope not… Well, to be honest, I do feel like I’m compromising sometimes. But I think it’s mainly because I tend to set unrealistic expectations for SDs and men in general. I’m looking for someone who’s perfect in my mind, knowing that it’s probably never going to happen. I’m very grateful for what my SD does for me, and I try to show my appreciation for everything, especially because I’m in need of his financial support right now, but it’s possible that he feels used. How do I cope with this?

  63. clandestine says:

    Hi all,

    I am new and have a slightly off topic question: what do you think stops more SDs from getting certified?
    I don’t think the price is an issue (it’s about $1,250 annual, if I am not mistaken) and it takes a ton of pressure off.

  64. Lily says:

    JetSet — oh hells yes.

    LV!

    But first, are you coming to the NYC meet next month? I’m gonna try so hard!!!

    I want to have another euro meet or three before I start planning any over there…. but you’ll be invited for sure to all of mine, babes! Gotta have my ‘lil sugar sister who walks around with my same little pointed nose!

    So I am drowning in potSDs from this site, when this site has been only slightly useful in the past, due to my geography. F’in amazing. I see a TON of brand new users *and* I changed my profile pics, and suddenly everything is gliding super easy when before it was like pulling teeth to get anyone interested in an arrangement with me, from far far away in Northern Europe.

    They are mostly all in NYC & I just can’t wait to land a proper SD and be in the states often! wooohooo!

  65. JSB says:

    Michael – couldn’t agree more with the state of mind…your body is a temple right? besides people who are more active have a higher sex drive :) they also probably feel sexier in the bedroom..I can honestly say if one thing gets me very excited it is a very intense workout..

    Ok off to a family function before I esacpe for our long weekend!! I will be back on later…can’t wait to catch up!

  66. sweettooth says:

    Rachel~ That pretty much sums it up for me…If I am interested in a profile I do give an email that has at least a little to be desired, I show that I am truely interested and/ or curious about wanting to know more.

    I was just unsure at first because I tend to be a wordy person. I know with some people “less is more” but I think in this situation what you are saying is exactly right. IF I want someones attention I am going to try and get it, I should expect the same, nothing less…

  67. Michael AZ says:

    Hey JSB
    he may just have a bad photo, and it makes him look overweight. BUT I have met some really strong and fit people who look a bit overweight.

    I guess I would ask him “how many times a week to you exercise?”, and get very specific – when did he last exercise? what did he do? and the time before that?

    I am with you on the commitment to exercise – I am the same way. To me it indicates a state of mind, a choice to look after their own body, an enjoyment of the outdoors and all that good stuff. If someone doesn’t have that same commitment, I also do not have the same attraction to them.

  68. JSB says:

    Okay I have two things to share…

    #1 – the crazy week is OVER!!!!! I work in events/PR/communications so I was responsible for throwing a concert this week…I had to do all the logistics with the venue, band, media etc…..anyway the band we hired was absolutely incredible!! honestly they blew me away…and they sent me a message saying they were really impressed by me and really enjoyed working together that they would love for me to be their road manager….ahhhhmazing!!!

    Ok #2 – This frustrates me actually…I have been talking to an out of town pot…we have really good emails, we talked on the phone and had great convos…he is planning to visit but I had yet to see a picture so I brought it up because he has seen photos of me…well he just sent me a photo and I have to say that the “athletic” he has listed on his profile must have been put there when he first got his account like 2 years ago because atheltic is far from what I would describe as his body type. He is not crazy overweight but he is by no means athletic or slim..however I am really appreciate fitness and play ball hockey, golf, soccer..I work out regularly, eat well and am even training for a 200km bike ride that I will be participating in next month. I don’t want to seem shallow but this is a barrier for me because I don’t understand why he would not be honest in his profile and just list a few extra pounds if he wanted to lie a little …we do get along but I was hoping to find someone who I could also enjoy physical activities like biking and jogging with and now it makes sense why he wasn’t as enthusiastic about those types of activites. I need advice..I don’t want to offend someone and say thanks for the pic, but now that I know what you look like I am not interested but I do feel led on and even though we have some similiar interests I also want someone I want to jump when I am with them.

  69. Rachel says:

    Sweettooth…. My favorite word is “and…” its perfect…. but has to be used correctly otherwise u sound rude. My mom taught me this trick when I was young… it forces the person you are talking to, to come out with what they’re really thinking. More effective in person said w a Flirty smile. As an initial Contact… I’d ignore it. I find if someone does want an arrangement… they will write with some substance and something that shows they wrote to ME, not a mass email.

  70. JSB says:

    Evening Sugar Fam!!

    SD Guru – very wise words…really appreciate your comments!! I really liked the part about personality traits and eHarmony – so true as well as the comments on the earlier blog topic re: pretty girls as sbs

    LadyInt – good to see your name on here!! Hope everything is going well for you!

    Soaring – Congrats on an amazing time with your pot!! Hope everything keeps exceeding your expectations!

    Midwest – your comments are always a joy to read

    Michael – have fun in LV!! I have 17 girlfriends there if you are looking for more trouble..ps you pretty much described me in your not looking for much comment..

    All SBs – I am going to LV in June…we should have a meet :)

    In regards to the topic – I agree that you need to make a quality profile, when I first joined Ithought it should be brief so that if a pot was interested he would message me to find out more, however my profile really attracted the pay per play type so it got edited pretty quick.

    What I am looking for in an sd is:
    – experienced as an sd
    – confident
    – fun
    – established
    – mature
    – intelligent
    – respectful gentleman
    -powerful
    – thoughtful
    – a bit of an alpha male

    What I am looking for in regards to the sugar part:
    – a montly allowance
    – meeting a few times a month
    – travelling..mainly 3-4 day trips if proper arrangments are made
    – a golf partner
    – a mentor/investor
    – shopping

    What I am offering:
    – companionship
    – partner in crime on business trips or attending functions
    – I am honest and a good communicator
    – NSA/ no drama and discreet

    :)
    Now that my brain is active I might revamp the profile haha

  71. sweettooth says:

    Midwest~ Thank you…I followed everyones advice from current and past blogs, u and SD Guru were a great help.

    Thanks SD Guru!

    Rachel~The only sugar plans I have this weekend is screening as well;0) but that’s quite alright, I am new to this so sifting through the profiles seem kind of fun. Very interesting I must say! As for writing emails, I have been doing that. Keeping them short, flirty, and listing at least one thing that attracts me to them. I haven’t heard anything back yet, but some have been read. I did receive mail from someone with a very short message just reading “I want an arrangement with you” what do you say to that haha….

  72. Midwest SB says:

    Happy weekend sugars!!!

    Sweettooth – Love it! Very sweet and clever way of leaing someone wanting more :-) Cute pic too!

    Michael – The guy with a back-up plan! Enjoy Vegas…never a dull moment!!

    Soaring – you are indeed Soaring today! Enjoy the sugar sweetie! All you other ladies ar next!!!

  73. Rachel says:

    Hi everyone. Okay… regarding the topic…

    Everyone has pretty much said it already… someone kind, courteous, doesn’t think they own you, is interested in my well-being not just being with me at that moment. I should be comfortable with you in dead silence alone as well as when out. Someone who isn’t threatened by me having my own life and my own friends. Oh… and chivalry is NOT dead. :)

    I used to sit around and wait for someone to email me… however, recently I shook things up this time around and contacted some people that I found I had common interest and I’ve received a good amount of response. Still screening… but keeping my fingers crossed! Patience is definitely something that is required in this!

    Anyone have any sugar plans this weekend? Like I said, I’m still screening so I don’t :( So I must live through your exciting tales. I do intend to cause a bit of trouble with the girls this weekend and MAYBE get a lil sun on this body of mine…. but not too much, don’t want to look like a cooked lobster!

  74. sweettooth says:

    RedMaru~ Thank you…more will soon follow
    I peeked at your profile, you have gorgeous eyes :0)

  75. RedMaru says:

    Like your pic sweettooth 😀

  76. RedMaru says:

    Hey SoaringSparrow – love your profile pics 😀 Glad you had a good time. Like sweettooth said keep us posted!

  77. sweettooth says:

    SS~Sooo excited for you! Keep us posted.

  78. Michael AZ says:

    Storm – in my case, I think AlleyCat maybe more appropriate.

  79. Lisa says:

    I have had some really wonderful first meets :)

  80. Lisa says:

    That sounds great SoaringSparrow :) I used to be able to shop alot this past year, I miss shopping

  81. Ommmmmmmg you guys! I am SUCH a worry wart! As most of you know I was freaking OUT about my pot coming in from out of town….long story EXTREMELY short: i had a BLAST!! Im actually on my way back downtown and we’re going SHOPPING! lol. Had a awesome time, and Im really happy. (although this IS only the first meet) keep your fingers crossed for me!!

    Bisou!

  82. Lisa says:

    Good morning everyone
    Beautiful but hot day here. I would like to get out but it’s just too hot.

    Been getting several emails from the other site but all of them are so obviously not sugary so it’s easy to decline them. I have one guy emailing me several times that stood me up twice on SA two years ago. He’s not looking to provide any financial assistance. Back then I brought up allowance with him and he said “oh, which bill did you need help with?” he thought if he offered to pay my 50 dollar phone bill that would have been sufficient. Anyway he’s back but on the other site looking for an affair rather than a sb even though it is a sugar site.

  83. Anna Molly says:

    SD Guru said ~ “It’s ok to have feelings, but it’s what you do with those feelings that makes the difference.”

    I agree 100% :)

  84. sweettooth says:

    Midwest~I am happy to say that I think the new profile set up is much better than the first one. However, any suggestions are always greatly appreciated! After all, I am here to land myself an amazing SD!

    In regards to my “Ideal sugar Candidate”:
    I would have to say first and foremost, someone who has experience being an SD is great. I am new to this and while I don’t want them to take advantage of me because I am naïve to the process, they may also have great insight to how these arrangements actually work first hand.
    Second, MUST BE A GREAT KISSER. Intimacy is a big part of who I am as a person and if they can’t kiss well, I can only imagine how they are in bed! I am not down with sloppy golden retriever tongue slapping ha-ha…
    Attraction is important because I couldn’t see myself ever being intimate with someone that I am not attracted to…and I don’t just mean physical attraction
    They must make me laugh and keep me interested in always wanting to know more…I love people that can hold a conversation and express themselves. I’m a sponge and soak up all of the information I receive….this has been both a wonderful yet horrible quality of mine!

  85. RedMaru says:

    Whew its Friday! Hey sugarfam!
    DarkPanther you have the day off you lucky devil you hope you are enjoying to the fullest!
    Lot of good points from SDs and SBs. I would like my SD to be a mentor as well as benefactor and lover too as I have my own businesses which are growing(good and bad thing as I lack the resources to keep up with the growth) As I grow he takes pride in the knowledge that he helped me get there

  86. SD Guru says:

    @minnSB – Of course personality is very important in any relationship, including SD/SB. I’m just pointing out that people who are looking for sugar relationships should give some thought to the sugar aspect as well. Otherwise it’s no different from regular dating. You’ll see this as the theme of my post.

    @Carolina SB – If you have needs that you could use help with, don’t be afraid to discuss it with a pot SD. If he is truly looking for a sugar relationship and is an experienced SD, then this will come as no surprise to him. OTOH, I’ve heard many stories from SB’s that some pot SD’s are offeneded when SB’s bring up their needs. Hello? This ain’t match.com!

    @Shoogar – You’re not the stripper with the baby, are you? 😉 (j/k!)

    @Michael & Stormcat – I know it’s none of my business, but my number one rule for SD’s is…

    Don’t get emotionally attached, especially for a married man!

    Since neither of you are married, it’s up to you to decide whether you want to put up with the emotional rollercoaster ride in your sugar relationship. If you choose to enjoy the ride, then don’t be surprised when things take an unexpected turn and dump you at the bottom before soaring again. (but it sure provides great inspiration to write a song!)

    Back to the theme of this post… if you enjoy the emotional rollercoaster ride, then why not just get a gf? In most sugar relationships the mantra is “no strings, no drama”, and that’s one of the key differences between regular dating and sugar dating. I’m sure you had a very good reason for pursuing a sugar relationship instead of regular dating, what was it?

    I’ve been on several rollercoaster rides before. While it was exciting and thrilling, I have decided to get off the ride. Remember, it’s a choice you make. Maybe we can ponder this over drinks in Vegas some day.

    Before somebody jumps in and say “how can you have an intimate relationship without emotional attachment?” My response is that no emtional attachment doesn’t mean no feelings. It’s ok to have feelings, but it’s what you do with those feelings that makes the difference. I’ll explain this more in another post if needed.

  87. JetSet says:

    Ahh Did someone say Vegas, Shoog?! I can see it already!!! Shoog, Lils, Muse, NYCSB and myself.. Sounds like trouble.. When should I free my calendar?!? haha. We definitely need to make that happen at some point though i loved how late Euro night clubs stay open!!

    XO

  88. BronzedBeauty says:

    My potential has to be someone I am attracted to else neither us of will be happy…I cannot fake it! Lol. Other than that I need someone genuine and likes to be spoiled in return. My 1st SD would hate that I’d have a gift for him @ times. He told me the best gift I could give him was my happiness. Needless to say the gift giving on my end stopped, but I made up for it in other ways which increased the gift giving on his end lol. I just hope to find someone who remembers to have fun in the process; its my recipe for having a great everything. :)

  89. tealbrave says:

    doy is going pretty well, cept I had an interview scheduled to start at UPS this morning, and my car went up in flames yesterday and I missed the bus this morning to get there. I was late and lost the job. :( it is a nice day tho! And I want to go to Vegas! I only live three hours away from it. Lol

  90. Stormcat says:

    AM ~ good to see your lovely avatar! Enjoy the walk.

  91. Anna Molly says:

    Hi Everyone!! Hope all of you are having a great day!! It is BEAUTIFUL here today so I’m going for a walk :)

    XOXO

  92. Stormcat says:

    Well I’m off to the city myself, gonna spend the day with my #1 and only SB and that is simply sweet!

  93. Stormcat says:

    Hey! Good morning everyone!
    Shoogar Shoes ~ LOL!
    I was thinking of seeing if I could get Arizona and Guru to change their handles to something like Desert-cat and Wolfe-cat. Then form a pack of cats with panther and myself. Four cats in the city.

  94. Michael AZ says:

    LadyIntim – yes, I will be there. Was there ever any doubt?

    Bringing in #2 today for a bit of fun, then Vegas tonight. Keeping myself busy!!

    Travel safe, and enjoy your time with SD and the east coast!

  95. LadyIntim says:

    Michael, it’s true, my friend. Like I said earlier…Most good things never come easy. So, are you still going up for that visit? Have fun, I’m off the ground at 8 am. Till next time!

  96. Carolina SB says:

    SB-emy: I know what you mean! I have med bills too! And I guess I need to make it clear what I need. Because I know now what is asked of me. SD Guru:I’m trying to figure this out. Just from a SD perpective how do you take it when a SB talks about arrangements/allowances or debt that she needs help with? I’m just scared to say anything thinking I’ll lose my chance at this completely.

  97. Dark Panther says:

    Good morning all. Finally got a vacation day to relax and treat myself out. Of course it’s gloomy and raining on my day… but hell I’ll find something to cheer me up!

    What is everyone up to today?

  98. Carolina SB says:

    “There’s a jungle cat in the bathroom!”

  99. JA-PRINCESS says:

    Lmao @ Shoogar shoes…
    You watch too much tv, lol

  100. Michael AZ – it sounds like SD Guru wants to add one to his wolf pack. And then there will be two of you in his wolf pack. He was alone first in the pack, and then you joined. And six months later, when you introduce him to two more guys, he will think, “Wait a second, could it be?” And then he will know for sure, he just added two more guys to his wolf pack. Four of you wolves, running around the desert together, in Las Vegas, looking for strippers and *cocaine. So, make a toast!

    *Anyone offended by my use of the word cocaine. I was taking a quote directly from “The Hangover”.

  101. Deborah says:

    I’m also looking for a great business mentor, I’ve started a small business and I am a sponge for information!

    (where did everyone go??)

  102. Deborah says:

    Oh! AND I don’t want to be part of someone’s ‘stable’
    I had one guy say he sees 7 girls through the month. ^_^
    I’m looking for quality, not quantity

  103. Deborah says:

    Everyone has great answers.
    I would add someone that’s not pretentious with money. Not overly showy
    I’m actually looking for someone younger or not too much older (5-10 years), and I’m willing to wait
    I agree that intelligence and physical fitness is key, as these are things I pride myself on.
    Oh, and punctual gets brownie points.
    Now I’m off to noodle those three questions SD Guru posed

  104. Sb-emy says:

    because jackhammering can get boring and repetitive? Also, it leaves much to be desired the next day..

  105. Michael AZ says:

    LadyIntim ….. my grandma once said to me that the ones who cause you the most aggravation are the ones you end up loving most of all.

    So true …

  106. LadyIntim says:

    Michael, I do know somebody like that. She constantly changes her mind, has minor control issues, and keeps you glued to your i-phone during lunch. And you couldn’t be any happier.
    :)

  107. minnSB says:

    SD Guru – I suppose I did forget to add some more qualifying traits of my SD. But I just think that personality is also important in this whole SD/SB arrangement. I don’t want to be bored out of my mind during dinners with my SD, so it’d be nice to have some connections!
    I also think that an SD should be able to meet my needs (financially) and be a generous giver, if he’s going to be a taker. I think that they should be understanding enough to not make me feel uncomfortable about the monetary exchanges. My current SD is very good about that, and I feel good about not having to ask for money.

  108. LadyIntim says:

    Hi, everyone, I’ve been drowning in homework for the past few days, but I am BAK as always a la terminator style. Ok…why is jackhammering such a bad thing? Ladies, that’s one of my top requirements and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Other requirements are pretty standard…At least 20 years older, filthy rich, well endowed, aggressive, and smart. Oh and funny or die.

    Jeez…2 am. Flying to the East Coast to see my main SD #1 Fun Fun! Hope everyone’s doing well, I see lots of new faces.

  109. SD Guru says:

    Michael, instead of sitting at my feet, let’s have a boys night out in Vegas and see how much trouble we can get in to. Or better yet, let’s round up 2 more to join us and make our own version of “The Hangover”! Who wants in? LOL…

  110. Michael AZ says:

    SD Guru – I sit at your feet.

  111. Beach_Girl says:

    SD Guru ~ I have to say, that is funny… but so true!

  112. SD Guru says:

    It’s interesting that most of the responses so far described their ideal sugar candidate mostly in terms of personality. Which is great if you’re looking for a bf/gf on eHarmony. Obvoiusly personality traits and compatibility are very important. But in addition, I wonder what would SB’s consider as ideal from the sugar perspective. Meaning, ideally what kind of sugar would you like your SD to provide for you? This is one of the key differences that distinguishes sugar relationship from regular dating.

    One of the most common problem I found in potential SB’s is that they are not clear about what kind of sugar they’re looking for and what they’re able to offer in return. Carolina SB’s questions in the previous blog is a good example of this. She has received some good advice so I’m sure she’ll be able to figure it out for herself.

    SB’s should be able to answer 3 simple questions about themselves when they start their search.

    (1) Why have you chosen to pursue a sugar relationship instead of a traditional relationship? (saying I saw it on Tyra doesn’t count!)

    (2) What would you like your SD to provide for you? (don’t say “show me the money!”)

    and most importantly,

    (3) What can you offer in return? (see my previous post about differentiating yourself from others).

    Once you have a clear understanding on how to answer those 3 questions and can articulate it to potential SD’s, then the ideal candidate should become apparent to you (providing that his personality also meets your requirements). This concept applies to SD’s as well.

  113. RedMaru says:

    Evening sugars! I was going to add but pretty much everything I look for in my ideal SD has been said already. So no need sound like a parrot

  114. Michael AZ says:

    Not looking for much….

    smart
    gorgeous
    funny
    educated
    has a brain, and is using said brain
    an achiever (meaning has achieved specific and high reaching objectives)
    is not hard up for money
    younger than me by 15 yrs or more
    good with kids
    is focused on other people, rather than herself
    is a giver rather than a taker
    exercises and has the body to show for it
    eats well
    non-smoker, light drinker
    has traveled, probably extensively

    Anybody know anybody like that?

  115. babyblonde says:

    Cupid Sorry to change the subject, but I like what you said in the last blog post where you summed up the arrangement and it’s worked for me in the past. But lately I have run into a lot of guys where talking about the arrangement is not working and they all want a relationship sort of for cheap. Ugh! Glad to hear it’s working for someone I was starting to doubt myself.

    My ideal SD pays me a lot of money on time and is there for me all year long! As long as he is a clean gentlemen, and I know a lot who are the next important thing is the money for me. I don’t want to have to ask or feel like a cheap volume discount hooker. Know what I mean? LOL

  116. JA-PRINCESS says:

    Hmm,,is theresuch a thing? Oh yea!! In my head
    1. He respectful
    2. Doesn’t ask for naked pics
    3. He’s honest
    4. Suprises me all the time with gifts etc
    5. Anticipates my needs and meets them
    6. Respects my time and personal space
    7. Takes initiative
    8. Can hold a regular convo
    9. Is not a complete blob in bed

  117. Sb-emy says:

    and focusing on the things that are ideal;

    he doesn’t talk about himself all the time

    he remembers the little things about you

    he actually does something about your —– debt

    he is not presumptuous about sex, and getting it because he’s paid you an allowance

    he does not assume that you’re his property (had a bit of trouble with this lately…)

    he stops talking about his wife, because it’s a bit awkward..

    he does not jackhammer you in bed

    he does not expect head in bed

    he’s good looking and doesn’t have a beer gut that will make fwap noises when you two are intimate

    he doesn’t mention all the secretaries that were hot for him in the past

    he doesn’t complain about expenses even when he’s earning hundreds/hr

    he does not visibly try to get you drunk every time you meet up

    Yup.

  118. Sb-emy says:

    In regards to the previous post by midwest SB, the allowance is not so much tied to what you are worth, but what your plans for it are (they can range from personal maintenance to paying off huge student loans and medical bills – Me :(

    recently my SD offered to foot my phone bill, which was a lovely gesture on his part, but my parents have already got that covered – it’s more the money needed for consultations and specialist fees that are doing my head in at the moment.

    to answer the thread, my ideal candidate would be Elegant’s Mr. Big :P, someone who can teach me something more about life, and inspire me to have better sex, feel better and look at the world differently.

    Preferably younger than my father, young at heart and with a sense of humor. The one i’m seeing currently does fit the bill, but he does text me daily, which is probably too much considering he didn’t want a “serious relationship” on account of his open marriage. Another thing is, I am rather tentative about replying with something silly and gen Y, because of his strange belief that I am “intelligent” and has “always something fascinating to say”. Which puts a lot of pressure on responses..

    Oookk, ..

  119. Carolina SB says:

    Ideal sugar candidate: A gentleman who does think of the little things. Appearances don’t matter so much as long as he’s clean and dressed well. And glasses are a sexy addition as well. :) Oh! His cologne smells so good I wanna jump him! Does things for me without asking. That would be awesome if that existed! Especially for timid people like me. And a gentleman on the street but a freak behind closed doors with me. I like pervs. And a guy who respects the fact I have a life outside of sugar world. Even better! He respects my choices and doesn’t judge me. And we have intelligent conversations that last for hours. So, where do I find this SD?

  120. Lisa says:

    It seems like there are alot of sds that mistake arrangements for fetishes. I think most women are looking for a kind older gentleman that will help them out and let them experience some of the finer things. I would think that any woman who was looking to be beaten, tied up or anything else would fall into a different catagory than a sugarbaby. So many of those types in the Texas sd profiles.

  121. sweettooth says:

    Lisa~ I am with you when you say “sane and kind, not into anything sick or perverted.” I am new to the SD/SB world and I understand it is going to take time for me to find that “Ideal” arrangement. I am willing to wait, but in the mean time I am afraid of meeting and falling victim of the kind mentioned above.

    I am naive to this process and that is why I feel this blog is so great. Everyones thoughts whether agreed upon or not, are good information to keep in mind. I can only assume that every arrangement is unique in its own way…

  122. Lisa says:

    Ideal sugar candidate:

    An attractive ht/wt proportionate man at least 50 years old, preferably older. Educated, successful, driven, generous, a little bit flashy, serious, understands the sd/sb concept. Preferably someone local to my area that has his own life, preferably married to avoid the girlfriend trap. Not overbearing, keeps in touch a few times a week, sees me once a week.

    Someone sane and kind, not into anything sick or perverted. No hidden agendas, etc.

  123. Midwest SB says:

    How would describe your ideal sugar candidate?
    I have a feeling there will be many similar answers :-)
    Mine is a gentleman who “gets it”. Age, height, weight and physical characteristics matter less if he treats me with respect, is a gentleman, can make me laugh and is a rock star in bed :-)

    MinnSB – welcome! You’re not dreaming. The search is so hard and it definitely takes time. I would share that if you feel llike you are compromising, your SD will figure it out soon. Do you think anyone is at risk of feeling used?

  124. minnSB says:

    Hi guys! I’m semi new to this SD/SB world, and I must say that searching for sugar is like finding a freakin’ job! I’m about to graduate from college, and I have no leads whatsoever on a job… it’s a real pain in the @$$. Well, actually, finding some sugar is not THAT difficult, but finding the right sugar is! Ideally, I’d like to be picky, but for the time being, I can’t really afford to be, so my current SD is married, overweight, and more than twice my age… *sigh*

    My ideal sugar daddy candidate is: funny (with a dry/witty sense of humor), average ~ fit, responsive (either via messaging or email) but not too clingy (like txting every hour…), cool but not too cool to respond in a timely fashion, and excited but not an eager beaver or pushy. Am I dreaming?

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