8 years ago
“That’s an Arrangement”

8 years ago
“That’s an Arrangement”

The word arrangement has gotten a lot of mileage lately, with everyone from Chelsea Lately to Dick Cheney finding it most suitable to describe certain types of non-traditional relationships.

It’s not always easy to know exactly how to describe any relationship, and many Sugar Daddies and Sugar Babies have wondered when their connection with a potential SD or SB becomes an actual ‘arrangement’: “I started looking for a Sugar Daddy on the site 9 months ago, and decided to only look for single Sugar Daddies and that I would be their only current Sugar Baby. Even though I prefer to have exclusive arrangements, I still believe in the no-strings-attached and mutually beneficial aspects – which I thought were the two defining characteristics of an ‘arrangement’.” – Anonymous

-55% of sugars polled on the blog say they prefer to have one sugar at a time

The level of intimacy and commitment in any arrangement depends on many factors, but the sugar should always be mutually beneficial and, most importantly, fun.

What is your definition of an arrangement?

How do you know when you’re in an arrangement?

Would you date more than one sugar at a time?

How is your sugar-dating going?

Leave a Reply

497 Responses to ““That’s an Arrangement””

  1. New Sug says:

    Hi ladies,
    I’m brand new to this and was hoping to get some advice.

    What I want to know is if it’s a good idea to have more than one SD at a time?

    I recently agreed to an arrangement with a gentleman where meet with him twice a week and he pays for my living expenses and gives me a credit card with a spending limit. It seems like I’ll have enough time to have another SD. I still have appointments that I made long ago for next week to meet 2 other potentials. Have any of you ladies had any experiences with 2 SD at the same time? Does it work? Is it considered to be in poor taste? Any advice is appreciated :) Thanks!

  2. Happy Lurker says:

    Hi LawyerSD,
    Very interesting remark about horse&buggy. I happen to be in the inner circle of collectors of antique coaches and carriages. Much history behind it and immense beauty and creativity. I can attest to the fact that it opens amazing possibilities, what about the races in Acot and having your antique coach in front of the Queen’s Enclosure sipping your Pier Heidsick and munching a fresh strawberry. A great experience.
    For some people horse&buggy have not died at all and the enjoyment continuous.
    HL

  3. cleo says:

    lily? aids is on the rise in several populations in the western world, probably not so much where you are.

    that said, considering that it is far easier for women to be infected than men there are some legitimate concerns when coupled with the fact that the bug is on the rise in the homosexual population. so if your SD is playing in more than one pond you could be at far more risk than you think.

    that said, i totally agree with your point, just had to quibble on a fact :)

  4. lil'SB says:

    I’m sorry, but to reply to lawyerJD’s post WAAAAAY up there, you must be delusional to think that virtual reality porn will EVER replace real live contact with a living, breathing, warm, fun, sexy, intelligent SB. When the japanese uki-oe porn prints came out, did people suddenly stop wanting human contact with people of the opposite sex? Clearly not. Can you have a deep, meaningful conversation with a porn video? I don’t think so. Can you take a porn video with you out to your favorite LA restaurant? Well sure you can but let’s hope you don’t mind the stares and snickers.

    And sometimes there’s no difference between a traditiona gf/bf relationship and a sd/sb relationship. It’s just that the sd/sb relationship is more upfront about the nature of their relationship and aren’t afraid to call it like it is.

  5. NJLady says:

    Going to sleep. Good night everyone.

  6. NJLady says:

    So far so good. He used to live in NY. Asked if I wanted to see a picture.

  7. CA Dreamin SB says:

    SCB – You absolutely crack me up. Awesome response!

  8. ESB says:

    MMD: you have a one of the great ones. You are lucky. I hope the fun continues for both of you. Sweet dreams, hun.

    I’m going to. Just wanted to check in. Got this nagging headache today. I think it’s from sitting around all day doing nothing, and from being cold. Just can’t seem to shake it! I hope this blizzard is the last of the season. I do not do well in the cold.

    Night everyone! Sugar HUGS!!

  9. ESB says:

    NJLady: good luck. I agree, if he starts talking sex.. NEXT!! I’ve learned that lesson the hard way… also, if it don’t feel right, cancel. Done that too. Had a feeling I should not have met the guy, and I went anyway, and got burned. Never again. I’m not one to learn from someone else’s mistakes, I have to make them on my own… you’d think I’d have out grown that by now.

  10. Midwest Mistress of the Dark says:

    Hope all works well NJLady.

    I’m off to sugar dreams all! Can’t seem to get enough sleep lately…we need spring to come around!

  11. NJLady says:

    Alright, wrote him back to. Well see if the conversation can keep going.

  12. Midwest Mistress of the Dark says:

    Hi ESB! Well said!

    james.m and I do keep emotions in check, but it isn’t transactional. We truly enjoy each other’s company and have a lot of fun togther. I guess it’s more like friends with benefits…and sugar! We’re past the 3 month mark! Time flies when you are having fun!

  13. ESB says:

    What did I miss? Holy cow, go play mom for a few hours and I miss all the fun.

    Lawyer, I for one could go either way. A LTR would work for me, but only if all the conditions were right.

    Getting it for free has it downfalls, too. You are putting yourself out there, and what are you getting in return? SEX. Period. Meet in the middleof the afternoon, have your fun, and at the end of the day, you are still alone. Don’t you want someone to pamper you, give you the feeling of knowing that someone will be there for you, you need to stop playing your game. Being a SB is not just about having sex for $$. It’s a relationship where we both are getting what we want. Maybe emotions don’t come into play for everyone here, but I’d like to be at least friends with the SD I allow into my life, not just a transactional event. I had that once, was great friends with a man I was involved with. Would like to have that again, only add some sugar this time!

    I, too, wish you luck in finding what you are looking for. Most ladies on this blog are just that LADIES. We would like to be treated as such.

    (steping off my soap box now)

  14. Midwest Mistress of the Dark says:

    Personally, I have only talked with one younger SD (30s) who was respectable. You can try a few exchanges and if it turns sexual, throw him back.

  15. NJLady says:

    should I keep the conversation going? He lives in Miami and he’s 13 years younger than me.

  16. NJLady says:

    Midwest- I just heard from someone, on here. Wait, he wrote back….hold that thought

  17. sugarbarbie says:

    midwest thank you for addressing my question.

    I am so mad. I have to meet a client for a meeting that has been canceled and rescheduled so many times. i do not feel like going…but got to pay my bills. And forgot my makeup bag at the office. Man. Check you ladies and gents later.

  18. Midwest Mistress of the Dark says:

    NJLady – If that’s your guy, you can do so much better! You will have quiet times…that’s when you go back to see who favorited you and determine if there is anyone of interest there. Otherwise, start fresh and see if someone piques your interest.

  19. NJLady says:

    DC SB- That’s the guy!

  20. SCB says:

    As always, I am here lurking but i couldn’t resist responding.

    LawyerJD- I would like to let you know that i think you are ignorant and a real jerk. Please leave our positive, helpful, informative blog and take your negativity with you. You are most likely an IRL, meet me at Starbucks with no panties on, living in the basement type of guy.

    Hi to the rest of the blog! I agree we do need Elegant back. She would know exactly what to say to the “lawyer”

  21. NJLady says:

    I just emailed him. I asked him about Friday, if he still wanted to get together, of maybe reschedule due to the weather.

  22. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:

    I doubt living off the land and the simple life would accomodate my internet, tv, laptop, or the zippers on my clothes. The horse and buggy might work as I have no car, it might make shopping easier.

  23. Midwest Mistress of the Dark says:

    Lisa -It all looks wonderful and peaceful from where we stand…but there are issues in that culture same as many others. I love the idea of living off the land, being true craftsmen and a commitment to the simple life. Unfortunately, there is an unsympathetic manner in which they treat each other…especially their women. I digress.

    LawyerJD – I don’t know anyone who “depends” on the sugar world. It is simply a bonus. It’s our own little fantasy if you will, but it is more palatable to us than other arrangements. We are fishing in a smaller pond, but the rewards are greater. Question for you…if you are opposed to the exchange of financial assistance for sugar, what brings you to SA?

  24. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:

    NJLady, in my experiece it’s best to meet within a week to 10 days as when it drags on longer due to the sd taking forever, it usually goes nowhere. I have never met anyone that took more than a week, with the exception of my out of state sd which it was mostly my situation that kept me from meeting him sooner. I have also found many that would contact me and say there were going to be in town in a month, then they vanished and didn’t keep in touch only to send an email months later when they were in town “wanna meet for dinner”. This is really annoying when I would come home from work at around 4 and have a message that was sent in the morning, wanting to meet at 5 or 6. Needlesstosay, I never met anyone this way.

  25. NJLady says:

    Lisa- I think maybe I was to haste in scheduling a meeting with him. Only because he seemed interested and no one else has contacted me.

  26. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:

    I remember seeing the horse and buggies all the time when I visited my hometown in Indiana. One time they were at Mcdonalds, kinda odd. I guess they live a peaceful life away from all the ills of our world. Wouldn’t want to live that way though.

  27. LawyerJD says:

    Anna Molly, Lisa:

    My girlfriend would partially agree with both of you.

    Her husband would point out that the newspaper is smaller.

    Both would nod their heads in agreement. It’s often like that.

    Most successful relationships are SD/SB to a degree. There’s is. I just respectfully submit that women who rely upon the NSA variety are going to find tougher competition for a smaller pool of men.

    Time will tell, and the NSA SB will bear the brunt of the accuracy or benefit from the inaccuracy of this opinion.

    If I were a NSA SB, I would think deeply about this and prudently plan accordingly.

  28. DC SB says:

    Lawyer: Sugar dating has been around for centuries buttercup. Nice little w/in the past century analogy you laid out there but your ideas lack any depth: horse & buggy at its foundation is a form of transportation, and that has been around for centuries. The way in which it is conceptualized has changed. Same goes for all of your examples- phonebook, address books. Newspapers, gossip. Porn, prostitutes. Yada yada. It just takes on different appearances and names-

    NJ: don’t go- but don’t be confrontational just b/c you see him online & he hasn’t responded to you– just write a polite note saying you’ve decided to decline. You have to go w/ your intuition. It’s always right- plus this was the guy who could taste you by 1 pic right? Meh.. Next! =)

  29. Midwest Mistress of the Dark says:

    NJLady – You can respectfully cancel, just make sure you don’t cancel at the last minute. He may be making arrangements that cannot be cancelled.
    Lisa – I’m always dodging the buggies!

  30. Midwest Mistress of the Dark says:

    Sugarbarbie – I see your question about renegotiating allowances was not addressed. First, I would ask if you are certain it is a ridiculously low allowance you are receiving. In previous blogs, most said $1-3K is average for a lady who does not live in a metropolitan area (NY, DC, Chicago). Then there is how often you see one another. I’ve seen it where this doesn’t matter, but to some SDs it does play into the bigger picture. Lastly, is he covering any regular travel expenses for you?

    SD and I agreed up front that if either of us felt like the allowance was not a fit based on needs, etc. that we could renegotiate the allowance after a few months.

    If after all this, you still feel it is pertinent to make a change, I would approach it the same way you would approach asking for a raise…point out all the achievements you have accomplished, how you have exceeded expectations and what you would consider a reasonable adjustment. If you need to cite additional financial obligations, please make sure they are not too frivolous.

    All that said…I am not experienced in this matter, where others may be. I’m just trying to use some common sense. Hope it helps!

  31. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:

    NjLady, if it doesn’t feel right, you should cancel. Be polite, don’t leave him hanging. I have met very few because most of the time there was that little voice that told me it wasn’t right. If it is right, you will feel it.
    You will meet many that will contact you, drag you on and never materialize.

  32. Midwest Mistress of the Dark says:

    Evening sugars!

    LawyerJD – I respectfully submit that there are at least 5 sbs on this blog alone who receive an allowance for a mutually beneficial relationship. We are a very small percentage of the sugar world, therefore, the concept is not as “dead” you predict.

    There are all sorts of lifestyles for all sorts of desires. You choose a swinger’s lifestyle and nobody here has judged you for it. We choose accepting a gentleman’s assistance in exchange for offering him a respite from life’s drama (including wives, girlfriends and girlfriends of wives). Everyone is happy…including you. Best wishes on your non-sugar adventures…play responsibly.

  33. NJLady says:

    Evening Sugar’s,

    Would it be un-sugar like to cancel a meeting? I’m not feeling this guy from that other site. We had set something up for this Friday. Haven’t heard from him all day….guess what…..he’s online. I just want to tell him I have to declined and that’s it. I do not believe he his serious. And not for nothing, the novelty has worn off.

  34. DC SB says:

    AM – my mom lives in Germany. You should come w/ me some time I go ALL the time!! Was just there for the holidays.

  35. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:

    The horse and buggy is still common in certain areas of the country inhabited by the Amish.

    I predict that I will eventually die too but i’m not going to dwell on it for now.

    Traditional relationships have died (I spent many years after my divorce trying to find a new husband). Thus I’ve turned to sugardating, it has no destination but at least the trip is more fun than going out with someone who expects me to split the check, yet expects something afterwards.

  36. Anna Molly says:

    LawyerJD ~ These kinds of relationships have been around for a very, very long time and I seriously doubt it will go away. As long as there are humans on the face of this earth there will be sugar. It may not happen VIA the internet, but it will happen in some way, shape or form. Sorry, but I don’t share the same view. There are no rights or wrongs, just opinions.

  37. LawyerJD says:

    CA, Lisa,

    Thank you for your input. However, I respectfully submit:

    * Phone books – dying. Getting killed by Google, Yahoo & Bing.

    * Newspapers – dying. Built on classified advertising and other print ads, getting killed by Craigslist.

    * Horse & Buggy, VHS and video game arcades – dead. Killed by the convergence of technology, information and paradigm shift.

    There is a paradigm shift occurring. The technology that built Yahoo has almost killed it – in less than a decade. NSA sugar dating will not die overnight, but the writing is on the wall.

    FINAL THOUGHT: Porn.

    Porn built the Internet. Vivid Video boomed while Playboy, Penthouse and Hustler all but died. Now, Vivid Video is all but dead. Why? The readily available supply of free porn. There is a decreasing demand for a free product that is readily available for the cost of an Internet connection.

    That paradigm shift will come to sugar land. I respectfully submit it is better to be prepared than surprised.

  38. Anna Molly says:

    LawyerJD ~ You should try the SA sister site Seeking Fantasy. I think you would find what you are looking for a little easier there. Good Luck 😀

  39. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:

    LawyerJD: I think you’re on the wrong site. There are swingers’ sights and sights for those looking for regular (let’s split the dinner bill) dating.
    You won’t get far on here is you aren’t willing to offer financial assistance.

  40. CA Dreamin SB says:

    LawyerJD – your perception of what an ‘arrangement’ should be is just that – YOUR perception. There are several other SD’s on this site, and on this blog who view an arrangement as a situation in which they provide some sort of support for the woman they are seeing. I wish you the best of luck in finding the situation you are looking for, but don’t judge others. It’s just rude.

  41. LawyerJD says:

    I find it amusing that so many SB think that an arrangement is $X per NSA contact – this blows my mind. As a swinger who owns a club, I cannot imagine paying for a NSA relationship at all. I mean, hello! Wife/Girlfriend dating is the hottest thing of the moment. And it’s, well, free.

    I’m actually here to find a mutually beneficial relationship that’s long term, rather than just hooking up with my married/engaged/LTR girlfriends.

  42. Anna Molly says:

    I have never seen Gossip Girl.

  43. sugarbarbie says:

    reading lily’s post was better than watching gossip girl…i mis that show.

  44. CA Dreamin SB says:

    Hi AM – doing good. Slow day on the blog (except for Lily making us all green with envy)

  45. Anna Molly says:

    All of you would laugh your butts off if I told you the kind of TV I watch.

    How is everyone?

    Oh to be in Germany…sigh. Do you realize how much I could learn and all the practice I would get!! I so want to go!

  46. CA Dreamin SB says:

    sugarbarbie – I’m there with ya – never have watched Jersey Shore :)

  47. CA Dreamin SB says:

    NYCBella – Don’t feel badly…I’ve been watching the bachelor too! (Though Ali got on my nerves a bit this week)

  48. sugarbarbie says:

    lol I used to be addicted to reality tv too but got so busy I fell off. i think i am the only person that never watched Jersey Shore.

  49. NYCBella says:

    Lily~Congratulations. So glad to hear how well your trip is going. I think we are all pea green with envy of you.

    On another note, my business partner has gotten me hooked on reality shows (ughhhh…I never used to watch them) and I just caught up on the latest episode of the bachelor. What a tear jerker!

  50. Lily says:

    I also just wanted to add that I have never, in my life, felt this sexy and erotic.

    This guy just presses every button perfectly, and gives me the space to let me press buttons of my own and even though this is entirely a mutually benefiticial, no-strings-attached arrangement with a married sugar daddy, make no question about it, he still…. is so *not* expecting anything, ever, and I have to make every first move.

    I love that. It’s being with a gentleman and it’s finest. A handsome one. Who is just sweet and intelligent and charming and taking excellent care of me. And when I can handle it no longer and need to put my tongue in his mouth, he responds and reacts appropriately.

    And I feel like a goddess. An absolute goddess. Like Aphrodite, in the biggest, most elegant hotel I have ever been in, being served and treated like a queen, and when I’m not here in this hotel getting room service and the bestest restaurant meals ever, then I am out in the city with my pal (who is a med student and poor and sweet and fun and amazing and I am so glad to share the sugar with her) seeing the sights, having her pick the spa and restaurant and shops and sharing all my benefits with her and HOW FUN!!!!!

    I have to say, so far I have described every detail of sugar to three friends, all of whom thinks it sounds great, are green with envy but simply don’t have the balls to put up their own profile and actively seek their own SD, no matter how much they might wish they had one. It is a shockingly easy thing to describe and explain, to traditional-minded young, single women. Just leave all the sugar terminology out and explain the heart of the matter, which is itself as old as time. And does have a heart, when you are dealing with two kind, good, honest, fun-loving people (i.e. me + anyone I would ever have a relationship with). The fact of them being married is only a small sticking point, but other than that, my non-sugar-minded friends are extremely understanding of what I am doing, sugar-dating-wise, as long as I explain things carefully, slowly, letting them get used to one aspect at a time, and never use words like “sugar daddy.” Then it makes complete sense, but the only thing that separates me from my grad school or otherwise-broke friends, is that they don’t have the confidence and marketing mindset to put themselves on site like this. I do.

    Yay sugar.

  51. CA Dreamin SB says:

    Lily! I’m so glad things are going so well for you! AND a bit envious.

  52. Lily says:

    Hey guy!

    A tale of two SDs….

    So here I am in Germany, enjoying a 5 star hotel and the company of a man that truly lights me up inside. My good friend lives here, and I have enjoyed re-directing some of my sugar in her direction, and having fabulous shopping/restaurant/spa company while zazazoomSD is working during the days.

    Things could not be more perfect between zazazoomSD and I. He is generous, he is handsome, he is kind, and he is fun. We make sense. I don’t care that he’s married because this is a no-strings-attached relationship and I don’t have to sweat about the long term future—I can just have fun with someone who makes me feel great.

    His friend and colleague on this trip is very, very handsome. I think he and my local girlfriend could hit it off extremely well. Let’s see tomorrow… the four of us celebrate Carnivale all day and will have ample opportunity to hit it off (or not).

    My ‘SafetyNetGuy’ messages me constantly and wants daily contact & near daily live interaction. I have begun now today in breaking it to him that it’s not at all on my agenda to reciprocate such intensity. He is trying to play off my wariness by downplaying his previous behavior but… to no avail. I simpla re-iterated how much I enjoy him and his time, but do not want an hour-by-hour-and-planning-our-future-together type relationship. Fun-in-the-moment, thankyouverymuch, and please no more than twice per week.

    I love this hotel. I could live here. But then again, I miss my huge, beautiful apartment and cannot wait for the party I am throwing Saturday night. I AM the hostess with the mostess. I invited both SDs. Neither can make it. Whew. I love married men.

  53. ESB says:

    Hello Bella. Freezing!! If you saw what I see out my window, you’d be freezing too!! Snow is blowing in all directions. Can’t tell ifit is still snowing or just blowing! BRRrrr

    sugarbarbie, I’m with you. Give me a hot white sand beach and I am one happy SB!!

  54. sugarbarbie says:

    I am definitely a sun goddess, i love sunbathing, even though i have a permanent tan lol. This weather sucks. I definitely wish I lived on the beach though, ahhh one day, a girl gotta have a dream :)

    Here’s a totally random thought. Any suggestions for a Newbie SB caught in a ridiculously low allowance to bring up a renegotiation. That’s gotta be even more awkward than the initial convo.

  55. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:

    Lmao…too funny ESB – no worries…either way..let me know when you do!

  56. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:

    I belong anywhere tropical :)

  57. ESB says:

    TT totally forgot!! Going to go check it out now!!

  58. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:

    It is still snowing here too NCYBella!! Ugh..it just makes me claustrophobic or something…visions of shoveling dancing in my head 😛

  59. NYCBella says:

    Oh and hello NC Gent, ESB, DC SB, Muse and SugarBarbie…hope you’re all staying snuggly warm.

  60. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:

    ESB – glad to hear it – I will send some sugar dust you way my love! 😉 Btw – did you ever watch that on youtube???

    Hi NCGent and Muse :)

  61. NYCBella says:

    Hi Taz, I’m here…not really lurking but finished doing some website updates and am bored. Ugh…being snowed in stinks. There’s something about knowing I can’t really go anywhere (even though I wouldn’t being going anywhere during the work day) that is annoying. Atleast, it’s my own choice to stay in when it isn’t snowing. I shoveled about an hour ago and it looks like I didn’t do a thing! Southern Belles weren’t meant for blizzards…lol.

  62. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:

    Good afternoon! Figures I pop in to say hi when no one is around 😛

  63. ESB says:

    Afternoon NC. I agree. He handled himself very well… SDs should take note! At least all the ones who have been contacting me!!

    Well, I take that back. The one I’m talking to now seems VERY polite. I’m impressed!! We’ll see where this goes….

  64. NC Gent says:

    Hi ESB — I thought he deserved way better than her, and I admired how gracefully he put up with her BS!

    Hi Muse — very quiet today — we need Elegant back!

  65. ESB says:

    OMG!! I don’t usually watch that show, but Baby Girl had it on. I felt so sorry for that guy!! I thouhgt he was HOT!! So not a hundred. What was her problem? she was 40? she looked like a kid!!

  66. Muse says:

    Wow. It’s quiet on here today….

  67. DC SB says:

    NC! I saw the 40 year old. I wrote you up ^ I said I couldn’t believe she CHOSE the guy then ran out on him and called him a hundred and left her shoe there like an idiot. Sheesh.
    She’s clearly delusional.

  68. NC Gent says:

    Yes Sky Bar — that was it :)

    DC – I watched that episode last night. That guy was a complete douche — no wonder he can’t find anyone. Did you see the one yet with the crazy 40+ chic? They showed that again last night at 9 pm ET — craziest wench ever on there lol

  69. DC SB says:

    sugar def shoot me an email if you’d like to meet up. My email is my sn but spell out SB and then at gmail from there I’ll give you the details for our meet up :)

    NC I’m watching guess what?! 😀 this guy w/ the russian girl.. What a jerk.

  70. sugarbarbie says:

    Oh the Sky Bar, I could never make it there, I do PR for a few clubs at the beach so going to others is really hard. I plan on going this summer for sure. I hear it’s nice. I love VA Beach. I try to move away but it always pulls me back. lol

  71. NC Gent says:

    Hey Sugarbarbie — my last SB was from VA Beach — we hung out at the roof top bar at the Hilton on the beach a few times — I loved it there :)

  72. ESB says:

    OH, spent the last hour exchanging emails with the pot from NYC/FL. So far, so good. Finally, one who isn’t trying to cyber sex me! I may have a winnah here!! :)

  73. ESB says:

    Great!! contact DC, she is making the arrangements.

    I’m going to get something done today. Have fun all, sending warm sugary thoughts to all of you stuck in the snow with me!!

  74. sugarbarbie says:

    I actually used to live in Bethesda but in Virginia Beach now. Been looking for an excuse to get back up there… we have nothing like wisconsin ave down here. miss it. I will definitely try. Been needing to take some time off.

  75. ESB says:

    sugarbarbie: Are you close to DC? Some of us are meeting in a few weeks, would LOVE to meet you there. We might be able to help you, in person. Or we could just get you out for a nice evening of dress up and have a great time!! :)

  76. sugarbarbie says:

    NYC, NC, and ESB thank you for your advice, I have a lot to learn about this online world. I wish I had more opportunity to meet someone IRL because the mere thought of “the talk” makes my stomach knot. I don’t want to be demanding but I don’t want to feel like they are getting over on me either. I plan on flipping back through old posts to get an idea of what is a fair arrangement. I definitely don’t want to be just cheaper than an escort for sure.

  77. ESB says:

    Sugarbarbie: Listen to NC, I am the QUEEN of attracting the scummy SDs. I have learned some valuable lessons, and will NOT be burned again. Learn from other’s mistakes, sweety. Try to NOT make them yourself. Sad thing is, I’m just not the trusting person I was a few months ago. Slightly Jaded now. But I think in a good way! :)

  78. NC Gent says:

    Sugarbarbie — I never really talked allowance with 2 of my SBs. I just provided allowance, gifts, etc and we were both satisfied. It was good to hear that someone else had done this. For me, the whole thing felt a lot better. Nonetheless, I agree with NYC SB — an SB could get burned if she had a fake or scummy SD, and they are definitely out there.

    p.s. Welcome to the blog.

  79. CdnSD says:

    Lily,
    Can’t seem to post a comment on your blog but I must say: Stunning photos.

    As a lurking SD on the SA blog I’ve often wondered what you would look like. Your lengthy posts and apparent frustrations have often left me breathless in trying to keep up. However, after seeing your photos, I must admit that in person I’d be thrilled to sit and listen to your occassional rambles.

    You have a stunning smile, a fantastic figure and an absolutely glorious mane of hair. Each of them need to be displayed in your profile photos on SA. As a result, I highly recommend:
    #4 -the frontal colour pic of you in the black v-neck top (the smile is to die for),
    #8 -the sepia print of you sitting on the chair with your top slightly open. It’s playful and nicely shows your slim figure without being overly provocative.
    #12 -again a sepia print with you sitting on the chair, looking away from the camera. In this case, the viewer gets a clear indication of just how glorious is your hair. It plays nicely against picture #4 with your hair up. It also shows off a fantastic pair of legs.

    Since #8 and #12 are similar in attire and vibe, you may even consider #6 in place of #8. In this case, sitting on the chair in your camisole top really shows off your figure, your smile flashes gloriously and your mane is clearly displayed.

    Have a great day everybody!

  80. NYC SB says:

    sugarbarbie – while what you described is a wonderful way of an arrangement without discussing one be careful with SA. There are a lot of man on here who are not even established and will try to charm you for a free test drive.

    I believe you approach works GREAT IRL… however the online ball game is a bit different

    ESB – google it… its painful but the results are off the charts. My female friend did it… in the 3 months she dropped 20 lbs and toned down like WHOA… she has been getting tons of attention

  81. CA Dreamin SB says:

    Morning everyone!

    Elegant – just finished catching up and WOW – the guy a the bookstore? That stuff NEVER happens to me!

  82. sugarbarbie says:

    JC, I never really had a SD. I have dated many GOMs IRL, but the subject of arrangement never happened. It just was natural. I am naturally generous and when I meet a man that’s just as generous or more it’s amazing. But I am uncomfortable with the idea of making a set arrangement, I don’t the idea of negotiating. Of course it would help me but…idk. Really my desire is to casually date a generous established man. That’s why I am here. I never have an opportunity to meet this kind of man except when I am working and I don’t want to date the men I am trying to take on as clients.

    At the same time I don’t want to insult a man that wants to give me an allowance, if that’s his thing then who am I to say no. I do love being showered with gifts and having someone to call when ever I am in trouble. The first GOM I dated actually told me that it would insult him if I didn’t accept his gift (a huge wad of cash) . From then on it became a regular thing for him to give me money and pay my bills. I was seeing him 4 – 8 times a month and was getting 4k from him fixed and he handled any emergencies that would pop up etc etc.

    was he a sd? Was that cheap? I didn’t even know what a SD was back then. No discussion ever really took place it just happened. I think I prefer it that way.

    I never thought about how the deposits might look in my bank account. I was more concerned about giving them my account number lol If I didn’t have to give up my ssn I would prefer a credit card in my name with a set monthly budget. Be an add on. that way my credit score would also increase with some of the bureaus, i know at least one stopped doing it.

    ok this coffee got me rambling too much.

  83. ESB says:

    What is P90X? sounds painful!! lol

  84. NYC SB says:

    ESB – get the P90X dvd… they are $42 and you can work out from home… I am on Day 3 and OMG im hurting… I have no doubt it will do incredible things for my body in 90 days

  85. ESB says:

    Sugarbarbie: I know how you feel. this is the 3rd time this winter I have been snowed in. Getting a little tired of it.

    JC: sorry about your troubles. I hope it gets taken care of fast. I just want to get my debt taken care of, then I’ll be able to breath easy again.

    DC: Hey Girl! Try not to eat your weight in house hold junk food. Not that anyone would notice on YOU, skinny little thing that you are… I’m gonna ask for a gym membership from my SD as my first gift. I so need to get my butt moving again, and it is just to COLD to be outside jogging.

  86. DC SB says:

    ESB!!! I am catching up on the emails :)

    JC What NC & I are saying is that, why settle for that low when really you could get 2K..? The quality of a guy who wants to pay less than an escort for similar services? I’m not so sure- those would be my only red flags, but if you truly like hanging out with him then go for it.
    As NYC said- take cash. Put that cash into money orders/cashiers checks and pay your bills w/ them. If the IRS is all up in your goodies, yea randomly getting 1200 per month would be suspicious for YOU, and yes, they might question what you’re doing. Also, they’ll def take any extra income you have if you miss payments etc b/c they do have access to your accts.

  87. sugarbarbie says:

    Good Morning everyone. Snowed again! didn’t expect it at all. walked passed my downstairs window and had to take a double take. Hope my meeting aren’t cancelled today. This town shuts down when it snows lol.

  88. NYC SB says:

    JC – Just ask for a cash allowance… I mean the amount is not so high so it should be no problem…

  89. DC SB says:

    JC: meeting 4-8 times per month for 1200 is ridiculously low. I realize you’re fine w/ that amount but, you could really command so much more- to me that’s almost minimum wage SBing.
    But it sounds to me like, yes, sex is expected each time- some arrangements are like that. Especially w/ married SDs who can’t devote many days to simply spending time with you.

    Good morning everyone! We’re in a giant blizzard and I can barely see outside my window. Sigh.
    SD & I aren’t really sure about how road conditions will be tomorrow.. I’ll stay in touch w/ the NYC bloggers.

  90. NC Gent says:

    Hi JC — If the deal works for you, that is the most important thing. If you enjoy spending time with him, you are definitely not an escort. I hope you have fun and it makes your life better :)

  91. JC says:

    NYC SB, I don’t want to really go into it but I’m on payment arrangements with the irs for back taxes and they have my bank account number. I also had to disclose to them all of my bank accounts, which banks they were at, etc as part of my installment agreement. That’s the reason why I don’t feel comfortable depositing anything in cash in my bank account or opening up any new ones. I only feel comfortable depositing work/business checks in there.

    NC Gent, what you are saying is true, I think I might still be ok with it though because it’s enough money for me. I don’t ask for much and I don’t need much. I wouldn’t be an escort because I don’t want to sleep with multiple men but if it’s just one guy and we have some type of friendship and go out to dinner first… I’m not hard to please and an extra 1k a month is much better than nothing at all for me.

    That 1k from the potential SD would go towards bills only. It would not pay for all of my bills but part of it and it’s still better than nothing. I don’t need luxuries like Christian Loboutins or shopping sprees or clothes. Just having a PART of mybasic living expenses is enough for me. I don’t need ALL my bills paid for, even part of it is better than nothing.

  92. ESB says:

    NYC SB: Thank you. I’ll send what contact info I have on both to your blog email. Your a doll!!

  93. ESB says:

    OK, now that I think about it, there has been 3. The one was all about how gorgeous I am, why am I still available, and what are you looking for. He was 17 years older, married, 3 states away, and when I asked him for a pic, POOF! Oh well!

    The 2nd I believe we may have crossed paths at some point. Hung out at the same park, where I was a life guard 30 years ago. Things were going well, then the sex talk started… then he said “I am well endowed”. I thought “uh huh, heard THAT before” He sent a pic. Mind you, I have NO idea what this guy looks like. My firsts pic of him is his MONSTER! OMG!! Seriously? Who can handle all that? Good night, he’d need 2 hands to go to the bathroom! 14″?? I had to tell him no, not just based on size, but the graphic things he wanted to do with it… NEXT!!

    The 3rd one was the worst. We started to talk. He just could NOT stay away from the sex talk. I would try to change the subject, asked what he did for fun. F#@k. NO, serioulsy, what do you do to relax? He went into this rant of all the thing he wanted to do to me… 3 somes, swingers club, show me off to his friends who would want to do me too… WHAT??? OH, and when I became his SB, I was not allowed to date anyone else, unless he ok’d it first, and he would tell me how far I could go, and even tell me what I was to do on that date that night…sexually! SICK!! Yea, he was married!! Why do I get all the creepers?

  94. NC Gent says:

    and Elegant Sugar — that is my favorite Jay Z song :)

  95. NYC SB says:

    ESB – email me… im always here to help

  96. NYC SB says:

    SanDiego SB – I think your hair as is looks lovely… I think you would look odd as a blonde … and he is a nut job

    JC – the issue on deposits has been talked upon before… I think it has a lot to do with being smart… smaller deposits, multiple banks… there are other options as well… netspend cards and cash being my favorite … You are not responsible for paying taxes on the allowance… your SD is once it exceeds 12k … and as long as you are providing companionship it is not a prostitution, there have been many court cases on this matter

    As far as the proposition: its hard to tell right off the bat how he will treat you. You may have great chemistry at dinner and want to be intimate with him each and every time you see him. But realistically speaking… married SDs are looking for intimacy that is otherwise lacking from their life so sex whenever you meet is usually the norm

  97. ESB says:

    I have been reading for an hour. Still catching up, and not sure who allis here. HELLO EVERYONE!!

    Weather update: When I got up this morning (8:00) there was a dusting on my car, now 9:35 and my windows are covered. Still not bad. Was expecting to wake up and find Baby buried. *sigh of relief*

    I have 2 new pots, both are from NYC. Im thinking I should run them by NYC SB? The one spends time at his home is FL, the other sends these very short messages… quick texts from his BB.

    I’m going to do some more catching up, been gone a few days. Decided to share some horror stories of the past 2 pots. Wasn’t going to, for their privacy, but when a man has NO regard to how he treats me, why should I be worried about what I say abaout him? More in a few…

  98. NC Gent says:

    Hi JC — let’s do the math on that 1-2 times a week equals 4 to 8 times a month so $150 to $300 per meeting. Each meeting will take at least 3 hours of time on your part (preparation, actual time there, travel, etc). I have been in an arrangement for that amount of money, but it was 1 and occasionally 2 times per MONTH. Sorry, but as you suspected, he wants someone for less money than an escort.

  99. JC says:

    And the arrangement I posted about was for 1-2 meetings a week.

  100. JC says:

    Ugh, sorry to bother you again. I have another question. If a guy states that he is looking for an arrangement which consists of first going to a nice dinner, afterwards “getting intimate” and paying around $1200 a month. Would you consider that a Sugarbaby thing or an escort type of thing…

    I’m ok with the money amount. I am not looking for a high dollar amount, I’ll take $1200 a month. Just the way that he said it “dinner and then get intimate afterwards” meaning sex is expected each time. What do you think of this type of an arrangement? Is that really a sugarbaby arrangement or more veering towards escort?

  101. JC says:

    Excellent post Lilly! I have actually educated myself on the risks of hiv and unfortunately the risk is higher for women vs men. It’s easier for a woman to catch hiv from a man from both intercourse and oral than a man from a woman.

    I am still deciding if it’s worth for me personally to endure these risks. For many years I was abstinent (like 7 years) and if it weren’t for sugar dating I wouldn’t date at all since I’m the type of person who prefers being alone (very introverted and shy). It’s mainly my motivation of sugar that’s making the consider these risks. If I wasn’t in the financial situation that I am in right now, I would be happy not dating anyone period.

  102. Lily says:

    simply living on the planet earth is carcinogenic, since we share the planet with so many (naturally occuring as well as man-made) carcinogens. Cancers of all types can strike simply because you didn’t manage to find a way to relocate to a pure and clean planet and had to share this one with the rest of us unlucky people. Many other infectous diseases can strike in addition to all the myriad of diseases that can inexplicably develop from within.

    My long, rambly point is NOT that you should become frozen in fear and paranoia and hypochondria about all the many risks to your physical well-being there are in life, but….. to try to make educated choices, knowing you can never eliminate all risks and, like most of us, come to the conclusion that there is some balance you can strike to enjoy your life (which is short!) while accepting only the amount of risk that you can personally live with, knowing it’s usually going to be some sort of trade-off.

  103. Lily says:

    The peace of mind re: sexual health that comes along with two disease-free individuals joining into a committed, exclusive, monogomous relationship where neither partner strays is certainly one perk not offered in sugarland.

    It’s also one that is rarely executed or terribly successful, over time, via traditional dating.

    The only way to have absolte guarantees re: your sexual health is to maintain total abstinence. If that is not an option, the next safest thing is to find one single partner to attempt this protective bubble of exclusive, monogomous sexual contact with. If you are not one of the precious few who actually are in a relationship of this type (although many believe themselves to be) then the next safest bet is to use condoms and as you know, there are also risks if skipping condoms with oral. It’s pointless to poll us as to how we operate because a) that’s a little too graphic for the nature of this blog and b) what does it matter? It’s your body and all the medical facts are widely available to educate yourself on what’s an acceptible level of risk (if any at all) to shoulder in order to live your life and enjoy it. Everyone has to make their own choices and live with the consequences. That’s the less-than-ideal side of life, it just ain’t a perfect system.

    Luckily, the AIDS crisis is, largely, over in the western world, and the concerns these days are (mostly) no longer a matter of life & death. There are still tons of valid reasons to exercise a huge amount of caution and use as much protection as possible, but I’m just saying that it’s not really something to go into a panic attack about if you decide to partake in a modicum amount of calculated risk (hell, even deep kissing carries some risk of, say, Hepatitis C transmission, and we don’t usually ask people about whether they tested clear of Hep C before going in for that first long smooch, do we? Because the risk is relatively low, and the cost of attempting to eliminate that small risk is very, very high–i.e. in this example, no more great kisses after dates with new people).

    You take a huge risk with your personal, phyical safety when you get behind the wheel of your car. Drinking alchohol, indulging in sweets or saturated fats, smoking, breathing the air in cities, not breastfeeding for 24+ months during your fertile years, all of these things came off the top of my mind when it comes to various types of ‘risky behavior’ in regards to your health. The point is to simply understand the risks and make informed choices and shoulder the level of risk you feel comfortable shouldering.

    Non-platonic relationships between two people always carry the same issues that you learned in sex-ed class, and these types are no exception. This blog is not, however, the place to stress and discuss and deliberate about how to manage and operate your orifices.

    I appreciate you sharing your concerns, however, and I hope you find a solution that you can feel good about living with.

  104. Lily says:

    I want so much to read all these posts but have no time.
    Just wanted to say that sometimes amazing arrangements can develop in less than a week after meeting on a first date and how cool is that! Sometimes things just click into place and it doesn’t have to be so…..complicated. I love the simplicity.
    My girlfriend and I spent yesterday with her showing me the sites here in her city, shopping, lunch, all paid for by zazazoomSD. Last night I was invited to join all zzzSD’s colleagues for dinner and I was the center of attention—all 5 men were captivated by me, and loved the discourse I provided, as well as my charm. Great times just the two of us, of course, and today as he’s working all day again, I am spending the entire day at the spa with my pal, all paid for by zzzSD. Still haven’t been able to go online with my new macbook air since they don’t have free wifi in this hotel (WTF? 5 star hotel and no free wifi?) so I am using their business center right now so this will be short but I will try to catch up maybe friday.
    Tomorrow is Carnivale! woohoo! I bought costumes for SD + friend/colleague and me + my girlfriend, and I am hoping sparks happen between my gorgeous 25 year old friend and SD’s hot 30 year old single colleague. I am such a cupid….

  105. JC says:

    Thanks everyone for your insight. I have spent hours reading previous blogs and it looks like in some cases some SB’s do find pay per meeting acceptable, especially in the beginning or if they only meet up with the SD a few times a month. It depends on your comfort level and personally I am actually ok with it. I am just a paranoid person by nature so that’s why I was concerned with law enforcement etc.

    I understand it’s the same as in a regular relationship, except for the fact that all of the SD’s I’m talking to are married and most likely will have other SB’s on the side (besides me), plus they are probably having sex with their wives as well so that’s why I asked about condoms with oral. I think it’s a bit different versus a regular relationship because I’ve never had a relationship where I was aware that other person was sleeping with others (that I’m aware of anyway). I also never had a relationship with someone who’s married while most of the SD’s I’m talking to. I have no problem with them being married either, it’s just the safe sex issue that I’m concerned with.

  106. NYCBella says:

    Elegant~I know right?! Lol…sleep well. Looks like the blizzards starting to hit here, so i should atleast try and sleep before I have to work again…grrrr. Gnite and happy traveling! :)

  107. ElegantSugar says:

    NYCBella – we practically said the exact same thing. Ha ha. Great minds. Ok, I am seriously going to try to cram in 3 hours of sleep…

  108. ElegantSugar says:

    JC: The only thing I can say is this… I have learned that a Sugar relationship is just the same as a real relationship and should be treated as such. Things are just accelerated in the areas of needs (financial, emotional, physical, etc). You should exercise the same type of judgment as you would if you began dating someone in a traditional manner. I, personally, will not do pay per meet. As far as the undercover cop concern, it shouldn’t be a concern – unless you are partaking in activities that feel illegal in nature (i.e. meeting in a hotel for the first time and agreeing to have sex for $x).

    I am not qualified to answer your questions regarding transfers/deposits.

  109. NYCBella says:

    JC~Some SD’s put their SB on the books as a personal assistant to alleviate the issue of cash gifts. Also, you can put cash into a safe deposit box. As far as undercovers, don’t promote yourself as a prostitute (which an SB is not a prostitute) and you shouldn’t attract any sort of negative attention like that. Pay per meeting is not generally an acceptable way of dealing with a sugar arrangement. You can read through previous blogs to learn more about arrangements. Escorts get paid “per meet” and as SB’s aren’t an escort, and have no interest in being treated like an escort, it’s insulting to even open yourself up to that sort of situation IMHO. If you’ll read through, you’ll notice, that most arrangements aren’t begun until several dates into a relationship (similar to dating IRL), and it’s unacceptable to offer “free test drives” to prove chemistry. Also, as in any relationship, you should discuss safe-sex practices prior to becoming sexually involved with someone.

  110. JC says:

    What are your opinions on what I posted about banks filing a suspicious activity report if you receive lots of money transfers/deposits, especially from different people? I am afraid that if I receive transfers from a SD that my bank might file something against me… As for cash I’m afraid of carrying so much on me… Is the only real option a reloadable visa? It would have my name on it. What if the IRS considers it income and not a gift. What if they say “Well you slept with him and he paid you so it’s not a gift, You provided a service so it’s counted as income”… ??

    I am new to all of this so I have a lot of fears. I am also worried that it’s possible that an undercover cop might pose as an SD and get me to agree with a pay per meeting and then arrest me. I feel a pay per meeting would be ok in the beginning to see if we’ll work out or not. So what if I say yes and then I might get arrested?

    I really want to start looking for a sd but these concerns re holding me back.

    Ok, and the last concern I have is in regards is safe sex. It goes without saying; use a condom, but what about oral??? Do you think most SD would be ok with this? Do you SB’s use a condom for oral with a SD? I know this is the safest way but I don’t know if it’s realistic.

  111. NYCBella says:

    Elegant~Truly I was shocked as it didn’t come from someone who really had room to talk (not mr. abs or mr. sunglass hut…lol)…though you’ll be sharing the same city soon…(was that a lil tmi??? 😉 ). How’s the packing going?

  112. NYCBella says:

    SDSB~STFU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I believe they prefer the term elevationally challenged….that’s some messed up kinky s***. Pardon my language ladies. Seriously, that deserves a “Wall of Shame” nod. It’s right up with the Starbucks sans panties, and the rodeo/dog-riding monkey act.

  113. ElegantSugar says:

    An entourage? That was like Barnum & Bailey sideshow. A midget? WTF is right. Wow. So many questionable characters out there…

  114. SanDiego sb says:

    i just read all of the posts lol. and i know i usually wouldnt go there with a pot, but he just had it coming, because the reqs just kept coming (wasnt just blonde)

    and i was nice about it at first and he would not let it go ”lets get another man to join us” ”you go find a man and BRING HIM TO ME” uhmmmm ok master *doink* (does nose twitch) ”i just want to start spending all of my money before i die , i want to have you in blonde,a white woman on another arm with black hair and a midget.. it’ll be like our entourage when we go places”

    wtf man, if you want all of that go sign up to be on Robs fantasy factory (tv show) and they’ll prob make it happen for you, other than that you can give me money (my time, gas and my annoyance of you) and i wont let other sb’s know not to talk to you.

  115. ElegantSugar says:

    NYCBella: No puedo domir tambien. I think it’s easy to figure out which certified member that was.

    Lily: My picks – all sepia tone. Photo 6 (crop right below your waistline, your hand looks odd), Photo 7 (crop out the arm of the chair right below your oblique), Photo 13 as is.

  116. NYCBella says:

    Hola sucas,
    No puedo domir. :(

    Elegant/SDSB~Hair isn’t really that bad when I think of my date a while back with a certain certified member who informed me that part of my arrangement would involve having my breasts done (already a full C…but guess he really is wanting someone with the plastic blow-up doll look), go platinum blonde and make sure to keep fake tips on my nails (I keep mine short yet manicured, as it’s more chic and sophisticated…which I informed him immediately, along with letting him know I have no desire to mess with the perfection which are my god-given twin assets). Apparently breasts and nails were a package deal…who knew?! 😉 NEXT!!!

  117. Lily says:

    Still on cloud9 regarding my arrangement.
    re: safetynetguy, I think I have to break it off at the end of this month. He just…. is all up in my grill. We made the mistake of not agreeing on a schedule and he thinks daily is great + many phone calls. It’s not great. Wouldn’t be for ANY SD. I am keeping his suspicions at bay but avoiding seeing him yesterday and today, obviously, with very good excuses.

    I did a photo shoot with my self-timer! Click on my blog and critique the photos, and pick the top 3 that I should put on an SA profile (yes I will keep active on SA until maybe two months AFTER my sugar life is perfect and stable and THEN I will hide my profile. Sugar is fleeting, so I want to keep my fingers poised at the ready to dip into other pots….).

  118. always2sweet says:

    wow…a lot has been going on, I cant catch up! lol

    but I will say ES your encounter has me crossing my fingers for all the times that I wander aimlessly into Borders hahaha

  119. Thankfully it’s going back up to the mid-to-high 70’s here after Friday!

  120. I think I have the swine flu. I haven’t been sick in over a year and BAM! Down for the count. :( *sniffles*

  121. ElegantSugar says:

    HOLY COW! The high is 23° in Chicago tomorrow. With a big red winter storm warning. Egads. I’m shivering just thinking about it.

    Off I go.

    Sweet dreams…

    of wigs and sugar.

  122. ElegantSugar says:

    Ok….I seriously need to finish packing and catch some Zzzzzzzzzzzz’s.

  123. ElegantSugar says:

    Cleo, believe me, life wasn’t always so swaggerific…

    Guess it’s my time…

    Isn’t that a song?

  124. cleo says:

    dude

    can i have your life for five minutes?

    ;>

  125. ElegantSugar says:

    *THEY’RE*
    Geez…I committed my own pet peeve. Hit me.

  126. ElegantSugar says:

    Carpathian, dear…you don’t want to know what their doing. Think Pee Wee’s Big Adventure. Ew.

  127. ElegantSugar says:

    In other news, I was at the bookstore earlier and I guess my sugar was showing. A very well dressed, much older gentleman approached me and said he just had three things and then he would leave me be:

    1) my opinion on a book (I was in the New Age section)
    2)would I accept his compliment that he thought I was breath-taking
    3)could he convince me to have dinner at _______(the most high-end restaurant in our area)

    -I gave him my opinion on the book, Eckhart Tolle just happens to be a favorite of mine. What a coincidence. Highly recommend.

    -a modest thank you

    -I’m traveling quite a bit, but give me your card and “you never know…”

    IRL SD????
    Hmmm. could be.

  128. CarpathianCutie says:

    Hey all! I am going to try my hardest to catch up with you all Friday night. I have to work until around 9, but I’m hoping everyone will still be at the resto eating.

    As for SDs-been getting a lot of emails from guys who are just requesting photos-so I politely ask them to tell them a bit more about themselves and what they’re looking for….never hear from them again. One guy has been emailing me every day saying that he wants to meet up for a drink. I asked him if he could send me a photo, so that I know who to look for….never replied. Another one wanted me to text him where we should meet for drinks- I did, waited to hear from him. After about 16 hours, I sent him a text letting him know that since he didn’t confirm meeting me, I wasn’t going to be there.
    Yeesh.
    I seem to get a lot of men, who just want photos.
    What are they going to do, laminate them?

  129. cleo says:

    my fave is to do a blonde wig and draw my eyebrows really dark with super pale face… i look like a doll :)

    but yeah, i relaly need the cleo one next :)

  130. ElegantSugar says:

    I can TOTALLY see you rockin’ the Cleopatra! Pharaoh pheromones. SSsssss…

  131. cleo says:

    i want a cleopatra wig next

  132. ElegantSugar says:

    Wigs are very sexy. What better way to have your man be with 7 different women in one week? I think tomorrow I want to be vivacious Veronica. She’s a redhead.

  133. cleo says:

    that said i don’t think being blonde would suit you

    that said, god i love wigs, i have a couple of them, one red and one blonde and i want more!

  134. cleo says:

    i would do whatever to my hair… i don’t care that much and it grows fast.

    that applies to all hair, i don’t care.

  135. ElegantSugar says:

    But let me add, your SD’s request seems to be more for his own personal pleasure. For that, there’s wigs. For everything else, there’s Mastercard.

  136. ElegantSugar says:

    I’m sure you figured out that should have read *stripper* (I tend not to proofread when it’s late…)

  137. ElegantSugar says:

    Oh, not sure I would have gone there. Ok, here it is… (my 2 cents)

    Although his request was a bit outlandish, considering I don’t think blond works for you… I actually don’t think there is anything wrong with a SD making physical appearance type requests.

    My reasoning…

    I know a SD who asked his SB to remove the extra colors from her platinum hair and tone down some of the frizz. He paid for her to do this. His reasoning was that he wanted to take her to high-end social functions and the two-toned platinum-infused color and big frizzed hair really gave a her a “stipper” look, which would have made him the whispering campaign of such events.

    I also know of a SB who lists in her profile she is willing to go blond if her SD requested.

  138. cleo says:

    omg

    *dies laughing*

    (not at your misfortune i swear!)

  139. SanDiego sb says:

    seriously. i told him he can give me money for my time and i wont warn other sbs about him, and he did lol

  140. ElegantSugar says:

    Good for you, SDSB! “I’ve got 99 problems and a Sugar Daddy ain’t one of ’em…” Ha ha.

  141. SanDiego sb says:

    yea he offered to pay, but im sorry im not going to look crazy for some guy,bf,husband,sd no one. not gunna happen and he was reallly offended when i said no too

  142. ElegantSugar says:

    SanDiego – Wow. Did you tell him sure, as long as he sells his car and buys the one you want him to drive? And while he’s at it, could he add some Ed Hardy apparel vomit to his wardrobe? Two way street, buddy! Did he offer to pay for this “makeover” at all?

  143. sugarbarbie says:

    really, wow

  144. SanDiego sb says:

    okkkkk so i pretty much had a sd for literally 2 days. and he told me that he wouldnt give me an allowance unless i dyed my hair blonde (in the front also because i have extensions) and get the extensions blonde.. WTF

    i am NOT here to carry out anyones music video fantasy especially if its going to fry my hair… really?? really tho.. and for him that was a deal breaker hahaha

  145. sugarbarbie says:

    MoonPatrol, are you talking to me? lol

  146. sugarbarbie says:

    I just caught up with the posts I missed, Hi ElegantSugar!

  147. MoonPatrol says:

    Great ! just go in not looking too needy, and you won’t scare him off. Also do it with what your heart tells you.

  148. sugarbarbie says:

    Hi everybody! Just got off an IM with my first POT! woot woot. this blog just brought me good luck!

  149. MoonPatrol says:

    JC good point, I prefer to write checks. Whats so hard about that? Bottom line is the funds are gifts and to look at it as a business is inaccurate. On another note I think sting operations are ridiculous because if the prostitute is an undercover cop, then no sex was ever going to take place , so no crime was going to be committed. Thats how I think.

  150. JC says:

    I read that a lot of SB’s like to receive direct deposits into their bank from their SD’s. I was just reading on the IRS site and there was a section where they listed when a bank was obligated to file a “suspicious activity report” and one of the examples they listed was:

    “A customer, a retired CPA, frequently sends and receives money transfers of more than $2000 to and from many different people.”

    I think if you are constantly receiving large monthly deposits, especially from different sugar daddies, the bank might file that as a suspicious activity and a SB could potentially face charges of tax evasion IF the courts consider it prostitution for some reason.

    I know there is a huge difference between a SB and a prostitute. I am just paranoid that I could get in trouble legally, for example, if authorities somehow found out that I receive an “Allowance” from a SD they might perceive it the wrong way, even though I may have a legitimate relationship with the SD, they might somehow still interpret it as payment for services rendered or whatever.

    Or what if law enforcement does a sting on SA and a cop posing as a SD asks me to to accept payment per meeting in the beginning just to see how it goes…

    Thoughts like this run through my mind at times…

  151. MoonPatrol says:

    I like to think I’m sane but not normal: I suck at traditional dating sites and have never had a good relationship come from them. In fact the only replies I get are from nigerian women or men looking for cash advances. I’m talking to two POt SB now that are in the young group of like 25 that seem good so far, I feel like this turbo charged the possibilities and gets you hundreds of miles down the road ahead of Match .com… Like some posts said that this lifestyle only works for men in the $250,000 range, i think thats wrong, guys with that kind of money are extremely rare in my world.

  152. Sweety says:

    So Cal~ la_meet at the hot male

  153. MoonPatrol says:

    I have A pot SB in L Vegas but I am not able to drop and fly there easily for a weekend. For me it would have to be close to a week to make it worth my while. It would be cool to meet though and go do whatever you do in Vegas. I never been.

  154. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:

    traditional dating sites suck because it’s a different crowd of people. A person who is sane and normal should have no problem finding someone in real life. I am especially amused at the ones that claim to be supersocial and involved in many activities but yet they can’t find someone compatible with them. It seems to me that those that are married or seeking alternative dating (sugardaddy, gay, etc) are the most normal on these sites. I would think this is because when looking for traditional dating, one should be able to meet people through friends, work, social activities, etc. Whereas anyone seeking something not mainstream can’t exactly meet someone that way. A married man certainly cannot meet a woman to have an affair with through family, friends or work, so he uses a site to find someone with no connection to his life. A sd or sb certainly can’t leave it to chance to meet someone because this type of relationship is often frowned upon. Someone looking for something kinky cannot just go up to someone and ask them, whereas they can join sites and make their desires known in hopes of finding someone looking for the same thing.

    I tried match way back when I was looking for a serious relationship(actually was looking to remarry but soon realized that’s not possible in today’s world, so rather than waste time on endless long term relationships, I decided to try this).

    Have a good night everyone.

  155. SCB- So Cal Blondie says:

    Hey Everyone!
    I just caught up on the blog and wanted to say hi! Just so you know, I am a pretty consistent lurker. (that sounds creepy) I never say anything but you should always know I’m there…. muawahaahaha.

    Actually I have a lot of things to say and a lot of similar views on the issues that are discussed here. I just have to be very careful with the information i disclose. I wouldn’t want to step on any toes or burn any bridges. Or reveal my true identity. Lots of crazies out there :)

    Sugary news!!!
    I met with my pot SD last night and we came to a wonderful sugary- agreement! I am now officially involved in my second sd/sb relationship. The sugar is amazing too. (now I’m just bragging)

    Elegant- I would love access to your blog. It was actually one I frequently read.

    I would like more information on the LA sugar meet. I am very much alone in the sugar world and it would be nice to meet some friends with common interests. Who do I talk to about that?

    I’m headed to Las Vegas this weekend, will anyone be in town?

  156. MoonPatrol says:

    I Have had the last 3 women who contact me from match.com be liars! They say they are from Houston but then admit they are from Europe. Beyond that I bet they aren’t even who they say they are. match.com doesn’t work for me nearly as well as SA! Has anyone noticed that traditional internet dating sites suck or is it just me?

  157. cleo says:

    nyc sb: very good photos.

    look i’m in great shape but i eat 25% more calories than i should… what that means is that i am wicked fun to massage and have a really awesome curvy body BUT a lot of men look at me and see ‘overweight’ and if i drop 15/20 pounds they look at me and think ‘model’

    there are guys out there that love my kind of statuesque and curvy but at least in the sugar bowl it seems like petite is more important…

  158. NYC SB says:

    Cleo – I feel like a slob when I see how toned you are… but after P90x watch out boys!

  159. NYC SB says:

    I dont think my ego (yes I have one) will ever allow me to be a sugar mama… been thinking about this a lot lately

  160. cleo says:

    Flo: i have some getting into better shape to do but yes, i’m trying to figure out the network thing. it’s new for me, this kind of networking. no wait that isn’t what i mean. i’m totally comfortable in that kind of group BUT i haven’t got too many ways in anymore.

    as for location? i would move in a second but i haven’t really got the resources to be doing that.

    it’s one of those circles lol

    italians love me because i am in fact half italian (tuscan of course lol [kidding kidding i’m making fun of my dad]) but i’m still NOT like them. i’m the familiar but exotic (until i’m in florence, then my not so perfect italian confuses the crap out of them because i look like them)
    .
    Elegant: YAY!

  161. ElegantSugar says:

    chitown: Sending you an email now of where I will be staying in Chi.

  162. ElegantSugar says:

    Flo – True, true. And it’s a very good thing with that wombat on his arms.

    Welcome, sugarbarbie and hello everyone else on tonight. Fabulous meeting for me today. Landed new account. Now I just need ten more like this one and I won’t need a SD; doesn’t mean I won’t still want one though. Sugar is one of the most addictive substances, after all. Maybe I can be a Suga Mama.

  163. sugarbarbie says:

    Hi Flo Rida, nice to meet you :)

  164. Flo Rida says:

    Sugarbarbie – welcome to blog, I spent some time in Alderney one of the channel islands (Jersey, Guernsey, Sark) and everyone knew what everyone else was doing, so I agree.

    Cleo – as I said I can’t fix geography & network BUT you can? maybe? I also agree your look does go well in Italy.

    Elegant – Prince Charles was never see & be seen.

    NYC SB – you have a full time job – hard to be seen & be seen when you’re working all the time.

    Jeez it’s cold here – wish I was in Tampa at Spring Training.

  165. sugarbarbie says:

    Hi Anna Molly…thank you for the welcome!

  166. Anna Molly says:

    Hi SugarBarbie! Welcome!

    Hi everybody :)

  167. sugarbarbie says:

    IRL hunting is really easy for me but I live in a small town. And this has caused some drama…wives send death threats..etc. Online is sooooo hard…it’s hard taking this much rejection. lol And anything you do, everybody knows…I’m affraid to let me guard down and don’t want the whole town to know I’m a SB which they will not understand and will end up calling me other names. I wish I could find a SD that lives far away. lol

  168. sugarbarbie says:

    Hi everyone new here at the blog. Look forward to chatting with ya.

  169. cleo says:

    Flo it’s location as much as anything. i’m gorgeous in italy/usa and kinda f’ugly in canada… or at least not attractive. that said, i think it helps if there is hunting grounds, here they all seem to be private. even if you can get into the bar the ‘see and be seen’ crowd are in their own area…

  170. ElegantSugar says:

    DC – That is hilarious about your vision me as the slutty Reno 911 Asian receptionist!! My brother and I quote that movie all the time! “You keep addin’ exxxtry’s! Hilarious. I love any kind of exaggerated Asian spoof-type things!

  171. DC SB says:

    Muse, thanks. I’m crossing my fingers too! We’re on track right now to have the worst winter since 1899. 1899!!

    NYC: we got off in the AM fri morn and didn’t work yesterday, or today, or tomorrow- or prob this entire week. Snow days are cute 1 day, 5? I can only watch so many reruns of Millionaire Matchmaker, spend so many hours in the gym and eat my entire kitchen.
    But! A snowball fight is cute :)

  172. NJLady says:

    Off to school. Have a good evening Sugar’s

  173. NJLady says:

    DC SB & TXT- He basically, as shown me his “true” colors. I think, after being honest, about, not expecting “anything” on our first meeting, shows me, you were expecting something. I was just online myself, and guess who was there. So, I deleted him from my email. (Wish there was a “middle finger” on that site to send instead of a kiss). Exhale. Like you said, have moved on to the next. Glad I only did the 3day trail.

  174. ElegantSugar says:

    NYC SB – $38 and a kids meal?? After a Motel 8 romp?? I doth envy you so.

  175. ElegantSugar says:

    Flo – Apparently, Prince Charles never got that memo before remarrying Camilla. (…did her mom feed her with a sling shot?!) Just saaaayin’.

  176. NYCBella says:

    And can we say how strange it is outside? It’s 41 degrees out! But it does look like it’s gonna snow (all grey out…ugh.)

  177. NYC SB says:

    I havent been IRL SD hunting in a while… must be losing my touch Flo

  178. NYC SB says:

    Im with Muse… zero inches would be great… we were told to come to work regardless but are allowed to wear casual attire… rolls eyes… I WANT A SNOW DAY! I have a snowball match scheduled with SD… I know, I know FANCY

  179. Muse says:

    DC SB – If it were up to me, we’d get about 0 inches. Just like in the blizzard last week. Let’s hope our luck holds and you make it here without any problems.

  180. DC SB says:

    NYC trip won’t be cancelled– I’m 99.99% sure I’m now leaving w/ my SD on Thurs– he’s going up to North for business. Because who knows what airport/train stations are going to be doing.
    No worries =)
    How much snow are you all going to get in NY?

  181. Flo Rida says:

    I was just wondering about IRL sugar dating (which does happen btw) and it usually just happens as if by magic – BUT the SB is generally gorg and young and her looks & personality get her into the right networks and invites to the right parties & the flip side to the richer SD types who have to be very well networked to be ‘in’. At the end of the day I can’t fix looks, money, geography & networks so if SD IRL isn’t happening i’d say it was for those reasons.

    Elegant – R got kicked out because he was part of an internet venture with SD and when it went bust he took some computers (clearly he was owed salary but…) and he also made the cardinal error of selecting a second wife who was, let’s just say not very attractive. Now plain is acceptable but i’m afraid ugly is out. Cardinal error in the see and be seen crowd.

  182. Flo Rida says:

    Cleo – I don’t really have the upper body strength to use an axe – even a lightweight one and i’m terrified of kickback on a chain saw. i’m ok using a saw though. You Canucks are a handy bunch!

  183. TXTemptress says:

    NJ Lady- I just had the same experience myself on that site. Matter of fact some of the things you have said about your POT sounded almost like my POT. LOL He will respond, then disappear. Then same thing as you, I would email and get no response only to see he had been logged on the site. This is the same “sweet” man I asked about the other night and then when someone said they hoped I had not been waiting on him and not pursuing other POT then I thought, “damn, I am out of my mind” so last nite, I cut him lose. I put the ball in his court for the final time. No time to waste.

    So….life in Sugarland is quiet right now. Hoping the week will get better as it progresses. Wish me luck everyone, send me some sugar dust! Hope everyone is doing well today.

  184. Chitown SB says:

    Ok, now to update on pot #2… who we will call mr. sushi, because that is where he took me for lunch.

    I have never been so impressed by someone’s conversational skills and openness. We met at a great little Sushi restaurant downtown, and the conversation just flowed. He has some pretty interesting ideas about life and how to be happy, and I think I could learn a lot from him. He has had a SB before and they parted amicably when she relocated. He is more of a “gift” daddy, which is fine. The best part was that he was so honest about where he stood on certain things. He and I are on the same page about not having absurd expectations and knowing that this is meant to be fun and for the “right now”. I really felt like we clicked and he respects me and actually appreciates my intelligence.

    We agreed we’d like to see each other again… so now I get to wait and see where things go.

  185. Chitown SB says:

    Elegant, I sent you a message on your blog, partly to request access since you went private with it, and I love what you write. But also, this way you have my email so you can let me know about meeting up tomorrow. I work in the evening, so I’d have to meet up before 6p.

  186. DC SB says:

    Elegant the parody version of you I imagine is definitely the former sex worker Asian receptionist/secretary in Reno 911.
    Haha. Have you watched her? Can you please let her play you in a movie version of your life?!?

    NJ – I’d def not write him, especially if he’s logged in.. Wait for him, if he doesn’t respond I’d move on to the next guy.

    I really want to take my prof down on SD . com but haven’t had a comp :( so I get getting annoying emails. I def prefer SA over any other site.

  187. NYC SB says:

    DC – I hope your trip doesnt get cancelled due to the snow

    NYCSB#2 – I will be emailing you in a bit

  188. DC SB says:

    Flo- yes we’re all alive! Not sure about Gemi..? But VA and ESB and I have a 3 way email chain going and they’re all ok. We have about 20-30 now, and are supposedly getting an additional 10-20 by tomorrow. Trucks should def come here and pick up some as 1 of our main probs is figuring out where to put it all ? So far they’ve piled a lot of it onto sidewalks. Makes no sense.

  189. NJLady says:

    NYC SB- Thank you

  190. NYC SB says:

    NJLady – If he is loging in and not answering your email I would not write to him again. You should never stop your life awaiting for someone to confirm on plans. Play hard to get… no man can resist that

  191. nycsb #2 says:

    Elegant:
    YES! i’ve been invited to read your blog! thanks! someone from SA asked for $300 pay per meet, i wonder if romp is included in that or not… my answer is a NO!

    NYC SB:
    you’ve got mail!

  192. NJLady says:

    Afternoon, everyone,

    I wrote to my pot last night to confirmed that Friday would be good. Haven’t heard back, from him. Did see him online at sugardaddy4me though. I know I should leave my options open, but should I contact him again. The only good thing about that site is, I’m at least getting reponses, more than here.

  193. cleo says:

    Flo Rida I chop wood with an axe, sometimes i use a sledge and a wedge. dad is in charge of taking the trees down (though we usually just clear the deadfall in the woodlot) and he tends to choose the chainsaw

    haven’t seen gemini in FOREVER but i think va has been around and dc is here today…

  194. NYC SB says:

    Oh man Elegant – in that case i wont write about my afternoon romp with SD… we met for lunch he said lets go to motel 8 and if you are good i will buy you a kids meal… i was extra good and he gave me $38 and a kids meal afterwards… but I had to pay for the room so i barely broke even

  195. ElegantSugar says:

    Leaving for a lunch meeting now. Will catch up when I return to the office.

    BTW, I am adding “recommended reading” to my blog and of course, NYC SB’s blog, Goal Digger, is top of the list. If any of you have any you can recommend, please get in touch with me. Just keep in mind, I’m not interested in the poorly written horror stories of $200 a night hotel romps. Sugar and the City has an entirely different approach – with the hopes of shedding positive light on sugar dating!

    Enjoy the rest of your day. Stay dry. Stay warm. Stay sugary.

  196. ElegantSugar says:

    Flo: What u say? I no unda-stand what you mean bout prettysweet intuition. IcallConfusciousnow.

    -END BROKEN ASIAN SPEAK HERE.

    OH I HOPE I CAN STILL GET TO CHITOWN! The airline allowed me to check-in online already so hopefully it’s still a go. Sure you can apply and of course I will honor you access. After all, you are my Tyler Durden. Or I am yours. Not sure. All I know is that we have now moved out of the basement, it’s called Project Mayhem.

  197. Mina says:

    Just stopping in to say hello – it’s been a while! Hope all is well in Sugar Land…

  198. Flo Rida says:

    DC – you’re alive. Vancouver is trucking in snow (for a price) for the winter games (according to a member of the Canadian Olympic Committee).

  199. Flo Rida says:

    NYCSB – it’s only temporary, i’ll be back in JFK soon.

    Does anyone know if DC SB, VA, Gemi are alive, haven’t heard from them for ages (especially Gemi), I can’t really see them chopping firewood to keep warm (plumbline, lower V cut through the median, then upper cuts with either a chain saw or an axe).

    Elegant – if I applied would you let me in? or should I apply the Groucho Marx test (not belonging to any club that would have me as a member).

  200. DC SB says:

    NYC: haha. Your SD probably got extra excited & didn’t think =)

    Good afternoon everyone!

    Just wanted to pop in and say, for the NYC meet up please click NYC SB‘s screenname, find her email & email her to get on the email chain (after her polygraph test) 😀

    In DC we have no snow, yet- I know someone mentioned wanting some in Vancouver- but it’s coming and I’ll try to keep a bowl on my balcony to catch some and mail it along. 😀

  201. NYC SB says:

    UGH – Going to kill NYC SD… he said he had a vday surprise… turns out its a trip! ummm way to check if i am free (which I am not) for a 3 day get away

  202. NYC SB says:

    Flo – they moved you to the Chicago office… I was going to send vday flowers to the JFK stand…

    Elegant – grassy ass 😀

  203. Flo Rida says:

    Elegant – unless you leave today or can drive through snow i’m not sure you’re going to get to Chi-town. I would say intuition is 100percent right for you but only 60percent right about the situation. Lastly I think it was PrettySweet last night & she clearly was so not ready to enter into an arrangement. Still asleep but luckily I have a job that doesn’t require me to be awake – good ole Hertz!

  204. ElegantSugar says:

    Hi ECF: Click on my name and fill out the form to request access. I’m about to add some sample letters I have written to the strangely (all of a sudden) reappearing Poof Daddies! No, they aren’t deserving of a response at all usually, but writing and sending the letters have offered me frivolous distraction as well as free entertainment.

  205. EastCoastFilly says:

    Hey Elegant, I was a reader of your blog before it went “private” can you let me know how to get back in, I liked reading. Do I need to email you?

    Good morning, or rather afternoon everyone! Just popped in to catch up…on the run again…

    ECF

  206. ElegantSugar says:

    SanDiego: Always go with your intuition. always.

    Flo: I’m in Chicago tomorrow. Trying to figure out what boots to pack now. I’m sure a nice run will wake you up. Oh, if the run doesn’t work, try kettle cooked jalapeno chips. They will give you jolt for sure…perhaps in the guise of heartburn, but you’ll def be awake.

  207. SanDiego sb says:

    good morning sugars!!

    just got back from a jog.

    remember that ”sd” i had. well i have a weird feeling about him all of a sudden (my intuition is usually right 98% of the time) so im not going to put all my eggs in one basket about him. So im getting ready to meet a pot today in LA

    =]

    how is everyone else doing?

  208. Flo Rida says:

    NYC SB – as we say in Oz (not the HBO show) no worries – fair dinkum. i’m in Chicago and my flight tonight got cancelled – bracing for the snow – fortunately I have boots! i’m soooo tired this morning, I usually sleep in and have done all my life but it’s almost noon eastern time & my body’s asleep. Even jumping jacks and the cold is not waking me up. bahhhh

  209. ElegantSugar says:

    nycsb #2: I haven’t completely ruled out single. But the last 3 pot SD dates I went on with single men resulted in them confessing they want more. Each time, I let the pot know after the date I felt we were on totally different pages and wished them luck. And each time, they came back with, “Oh…but we can still have NSA if you want. But if I were to pick a LTR girlfriend, it would be YOU. That’s all I was saying.” Ummm. Yeah. O-TAY BUCKWHEAT. NEXT.

    The blog is still available. However, I have added a layer of privacy to it. You have to request access and be added to the list of readers now. Just exercising a stronger sense of discretion for various reasons.

  210. nycsb #2 says:

    Elegant:

    yeah, i think i might start going for the married now… i’ve been reading your blog and i absolutely love it. can’t wait for it to come back! happy traveling! :)

  211. ElegantSugar says:

    There is a slight possibility I will be in NYC on Friday…but will be with one of my pot SDs and not sure I can get away to meet up. Unsure about sharing my blog-interaction on here either – since we are still getting to know one another. Hmmm. Will have to think about it.

  212. CA Dreamin SB says:

    Morning all :)

  213. ElegantSugar says:

    Hello AM, photogirl, NYC SB, NYCBella, sweety, nycsb#2, lil’SB, Chitown, any and all LURKERS and anyone else I may have missed!

    Chitown: I will be in your area tomorrow and would love to meet up. Only there for one night. Time is limited, but I am great at finding extra time when needed. If we don’t get connected this way, just click on my name and contact me that way. (sorry if that isn’t allowed…not sure what all the rules are on here…)

    nycsb #2: I have encountered that problem more than once. Hence the reason I decided to go with married SDs. And even then, it has been tricky – because you fall into “Safety Net” zone. A tangled web, indeed.

    Hope everyone is having a wonderful day! I am finishing up some writing, doing “officey” type things and packing for my trip tomorrow.

  214. nycsb #2 says:

    oh that sounds like so much fun! will def email NYC SB and try to make it if i pass the screening process, haha. i’ve never been to a blog meet before!!

  215. NYCBella says:

    nycsb#2~welcome back. Sorry about the pot not being what you want…NEXT! 😉 Anywho, not sure if you saw but we’re having a NYC meetup on Friday if you wanna join. You can email NYC SB via her blog for details. Yeah, I’m not looking forward to the snowstorm much myself.

  216. nycsb #2 says:

    i have a bf on the side but i have no idea where that is going so i consider myself single…

  217. nycsb #2 says:

    hello alllllllllllll!

    i’ve been sick so i’ve been out of commission but i’m slowly catching up on the blogs!

    AM: congrats! read the blogs!

    NYC SB: where’s the rest of NYC SD’s like the one you have? so jealous…

    just wanted to vent… so someone that i met from SA wants exclusivity both in the SD/SB world as well as IRL. is he kidding me???? the reason i signed up for SA was so i’m not in a traditional, strings attached relationship… plus i want my freedom to do whatever i choose!!!! he’s single but twice my age and then some and we had great conversation and all but i’m not giving up my freedom to be with just him. maybe if i felt enough chemistry to give up exclusivity but i didn’t and i would want to be in an arrangement with him but the whole ‘monogamy’ is not flying with me!!!!

    this is SA, not a dating website! come on fellas, get with it!!!

    **vent done! there’s a snowstorm coming soon in NYC… hope it won’t be so bad… hate winter!!!!

  218. Chitown SB says:

    Also, I know Elegant put this out there already, but would someone mind getting her email address to me?

    And the snow made its way to Chicago.

  219. Chitown SB says:

    So, date with Mr. Printer…

    Was great! We met for drinks at his hotel bar, then he took me to this little italian restaurant downtown where I had the most AMAZING lobster ravioli. He kept saying how stunning I look (yes! the outfit I chose was a success). We then went to a jazz lounge. There was a very talented singer taking requests, and printer had 2 songs in mind. So I asked the singer if he’d do one of them and he smiled and said he’d do both. printer and I danced to the second one.

    He said he wants to take me to NYC in March to sight see and take in a show. He knows theatre is my industry and says it would be nice to go with someone who can “appreciate the work behind the product”.

    He is going on a business trip next week, so we won’t get to see each other until he gets back, but this one sounds like he has real potential. He hailed me a cab at the end of the night and gave me “cab fare”. Overall a lovely evening.

    Meeting pot. #2 for lunch in a few hours… I will be sure to let you all know how it goes.

  220. NYCBella says:

    true, true :)

  221. Anna Molly says:

    No way….LOL, on second thought, it wouldn’t be so bad if I was snowed in with my man 😉

  222. NYCBella says:

    Hi AM! Looking forward to the snowstorm?

  223. Anna Molly says:

    Hi Bella! I really need to start refreshing before I post..LOL

  224. Anna Molly says:

    How could I forget you NYC SB :)

    HI *wave*

  225. NYCBella says:

    Morning sugs…
    All caught up.

    Yaz~you can still make it to the meet…we’re not getting together till after you’re off work.

    And, anyone else wanting to come, do! The more the merrier. I’d love to have SD IRL come, but we’d have to be completely hush hush and say it was a covert ops blog…he’s opposed to the term as well…and he doesn’t know I’m keeping my sugar options open.

  226. Anna Molly says:

    Hi PG!

    Thanks Sweety!

    Hope everyone is well 😀

  227. Sweety says:

    Hi everyone!
    Hope everyone is good?

    If anyone wants to know anything about the LA meet, let me know, i will mail you the info…It’s Feb 25th!

    Congrats Anna!

  228. NYC SB says:

    DC – My SA profile is hidden… but yes it has pictures with my face on there… I don’t want my identity floating around NYC as the girl that dates for money… this concept is very misunderstood. Also my ex SD turned business partner is a well known business head. If my identity came out it would be embarrassing to him… and his marriage. I would never put him or myself through such thing.

    For those wanting to attend the February 12th meeting email me… by clicking the link. Prepare to be screened though…

    Elegant – DABA girls huh… remind me to tell you about that when we meet.

    Flo – Im terrible… I owe you an email… feel free to punish me for bad behavior

  229. photogirl says:

    Lily and Anna Molly – Congrats to both :)
    And anyone else I missed that may have found a SD/SB

    Yaz – I am up for a Miami meet :) Close enough for me to drive!

    Have missed alot on the blog and don’t have time to catch up or answer the questions right now…but hope EVERYONE is doing well!

  230. Anna Molly says:

    Good morning everyone! Hope y’all had a good evening 😀

    I won two glasses at trivia last night..YAY! LOL

  231. lil'SB says:

    To JamaicanDream SB, I’m pretty sure sex and intimacy mean the same thing. When an SD is inquiring about your willingness to get intimate, that means skin-on-skin. On the contrary, I don’t think it’s unrealistic or unnecessary at all, because for me, especially if the SD is VERY good looking, the intimacy could be a perk if I’m feeling all the right chemistry! Furthermore, because the majority of the men on this site are married, I find that they’re usually seeking to fulfil the sexual deficit in a marriage gone stale, so that may explain the difficulty in finding someone not interested in sex yet willing to pay a couple grand.

    As for the lying and disrespectful people contacting you, well there will always be a cesspool of these kinds of people on any site you go on. I think they’re mainly here for an ego trip because they’re aware of the high female to male ratio and are aware of their increased likelihood of getting some attention (read: they are desperate losers still living in their momma’s basement). Just delete those and don’t let it waste your time.

    As for school, you’re right in that most NSA relationships don’t demand too much time, just keep looking around. I’ve managed to attend full time university and juggle a full course load while having an SD (although that arrangement is over now:( )

  232. lil'SB says:

    Omg Lily…WOW. Just….WOW.

    You lucky girl you! This sounds like a dream, I’m so happy for you! Just reading your post makes me giddy, lol. Keep the posts coming, and enjoy your breakfast (I bet it’s going to taste better than usual!)

  233. lil'SB says:

    ElegantSugar, I guess you’ve upped your blog’s security measure and have made it invite only. Could I get an invite?

  234. Lily, a.k.a. IRLSB says:

    I am typing from the most amazing hotel in Germany!!! I love it here, I love his company, we are having a blast, and now I am waiting for my friend to arrive and take me out shopping with my spending money. Sigh. All things are sugary delicious. Oh, and my macbook air is delightful. Turns out the guy did NOT end up getting it from the store as planned, since the delivery was still delayed, and here is the sweetest part–zazazoomSD was worried about following up on his promise to me, so he made a bunch of phone calls and ran around until he found the ONE place in the city that had one physically on their premises, an authorized apple store (an imports store he had never even heard of), located it, and bought it off the shelf for me on his way to the airport. Knowing how busy his day was before rushing to travel abroad on this business trip just really makes that a sweet gesture. He wanted so badly not to make me question whether or not he was serious and didn’t want to give me some excuses as to why he couldn’t deliver his promised gift, even if they would have been valid and true excuses. These little things are the very definition of romance, to me!! I love being made a priority.
    I gotta run and get breakfast…….

  235. How is your sugar-dating going?

    My sugar dating is not going as good as I initially expected, I am looking for a special someone so I wont be giving up any time soon however I have been running into a few reoccurring obstacles so far.

    1) Liars- “Liar liar pants on fire” If only it were so easy to detect. In any type of relationship you will run into a lier But I have been running into a bit too many. Men are lying about what they have, what they own, what they make, what they want. Just pure lies. I just don’t get it, If you can not offer the financial stability that someone is looking for then why come on this type of site and then lie about it. Just go on a regular dating site where that is not a requirement.

    2) Virginity- I may be one one the only SB’s who is still a virgin and then again I am the youngest you can possibly getMy life experience and vast maturity brought me here so don’t bother to question why . The issue is I am still a virgin and even though it may be appealing for some it seems to be an unrealistic and unnecessary commodity in this type of relationship. I guess there are very few men who respect my decision and just rather due away with it? I don’t know. It it really about sex or is it intimacy? what is it?

    3) School- as a full time student at a prestigious university I just have so little time and I figure a relationship like an arrangement would be the best kind because a SD asks for very little time due to his busy schedule as well. This still seems to still be an issue though. Is there any way to solve it?

    4) Age- Age seems to be an issue because SD tent to deem me as immature but in fact I am more mature than most . Although 18 is the legal limit, is there an actual IDEAL age that a majority of SDs would want their SBs to be? 21? 25?30?

  236. lil'SB says:

    Also, I wish you DC dwellers would share some of your snow with Vancouver…you might even make a profit selling your snow up to Canada!

  237. ElegantSugar says:

    Flo – funny what you mentioned about ‘inner circle’ – seems all who live that jaw dropping lifestyle have an inner cirlce. Mess up and Mufasa banishes you from the Pridelands. Forever.

  238. lil'SB says:

    Thanks Flo Rida!

    Ah, like Cleo I wish I could go to either of the meets later this week. Maybe Cleo and I should just have a mini meeting and commiserate together over our low-cal sugar life, lol.

  239. ElegantSugar says:

    it’s late. I totally screwed up what I meant. But I think you get. I must retire now.

  240. sb-emy says:

    What is your definition of an arrangement?

    What he says is an arrangement, and what I ultimately agree to.

    How do you know when you’re in an arrangement?

    See above.

    Would you date more than one sugar at a time?

    I have a long term plan in re: to finances, and saving up for laser eye surgery – So yes. What would stop me is i) full time work ii) full time study (which eclipses the former in importance, always iii) full time boyfriend

    How is your sugar-dating going?

    Good! My SD will be in Asia over the next month, and sadly no meetings until university begins. Other than that, I have two meetings with pot sd’s, one a tranny (i’m trying to get to grips with, intimately) and the other a real ocker real estate agent. Not classy, but fun times ahead.

  241. Flo Rida says:

    Prettysweet – i’m slightly different (in many ways) SD is only 9-10 years older than me (depending on birthdays) and I knew him for just less than 10years before anything happened. I always knew he was interested if you know what I mean (but I wasn’t then). But then he became stinking rich (and now with the great recession he’s only half stinking rich). He really lives a jaw dropping lifestyle and there are women throwing themselves at him (literally). OK what’s my secret – I went to grad school with his sister and I also worked with an old school friend of his (who is no longer part of the inner circle). so to answer your question in a roundabout way – the door was always open – I just walked through.

    Elegant – i’ve thought about writing a book one day BUT I donlt really have the time now – oneday soon I will & it will be based on the truth (facts distorted of course).
    If Pro is the opposite of Con then is Congress the opposite of Progress?

    LilSB – welcome to blog!

  242. ElegantSugar says:

    No empathy, no minds of their own, follow the crowd, keep up with the Joneses, fake it ’til you make it…

  243. lil'SB says:

    Socially unconscious?

  244. lil'SB says:

    Ah, yes, I realize. You’re sans BF by choice.

  245. ElegantSugar says:

    I actually cannot tolerate the over-caffeinated, socially unconscious men these girls purposely seek out.

  246. ElegantSugar says:

    but let me add, I am NOT a DABA girl!

  247. lil'SB says:

    LoL, you just reminded me very much of the DABA girl type. Quite capable of commanding a high income yourself, but still enjoy the extras of having a FBF.

  248. ElegantSugar says:

    OH, yes. Definitely. I am someone you would certainly put into the category of searching for the Je Ne Sais Finance! (Those magic qualities that attract DABA Girls to their alpha male counterparts.)

  249. lil'SB says:

    Maybe there needs to be two versions of the story; the male story on side A and the female story on side B =D

    ElegantSugar, have you heard of DABA girls?

  250. ElegantSugar says:

    Hmm, perhaps we will BOTH be invited to speak on Tyra to promote our books?

    I have also always known dating men my age was NOT for me. The “not sure if this is for me” hesitation on my part was the receiving of allowance. I have always been self-sufficient in the area of earning a nice, fat income for myself and never having to rely on someone “helping me out.” When things took a turn for the negative in the financial area for me, I had to swallow my big, fat female ego and decide I needed to seek and accept some assistance. The gifts and extras (life of luxury) just came with it, I found out.

  251. lil'SB says:

    Oh no elegant, I’ve also thought about writing a fictional chick-lit on this kind of lifestyle too. Will we be rivals competing for the top spot on the new york bestsellers list?

    PrettySweet: I’ve never thought these relationships were never for me. It was clear from very early on that dating males my age was NOT for me, but it’s just the technical aspects of making arrangements that make me anxious (i.e. bringing up the topic of allowance, what to do if I get stood up, how to tell them nicely that I’m not interested after the second meeting, etc.)

  252. PrettySweet says:

    Will do. I’m laying low for a few weeks but I’ll decide soon. Thanks and I’m looking forward to chatting soon. Take care!

  253. ElegantSugar says:

    In other words, you just have to take the jump. Just be sure you know how to activate your parachute properly and can study the change of the wind and know how to navigate through the perception of wind change. And just like skydiving, many people choose to make their first jump with an experienced and trained instructor. Best of luck to you. Keep us posted.

  254. PrettySweet says:

    lol Elegant…I love your analogy. So I have to admit that I got cold feet with this guy and told him I needed more time to think about this and settle into the new semester of school(which is true)before I continue with our first “real”date. I was expecting him to be a jerk but instead he felt bad because he thought that maybe he had rushed me and offered to date me for as long as I need(no intimacy) with assistance when I decide it’s ok. He’s pretty set on me; apparently he hasn’t met anyone like me before:) I really don’t see anything wrong with an arrangement but when it came down to the wire I started getting really awful feelings…you know? Anyway the dust will clear soon and I’ll know what to do. I sure appreciate your advice. I’ve been scouting these blogs for sometime now and are familiar with all of you*grinning* Instead of directly asking these questions to you guys, I’ve been trying to google the answers. I’m glad I got the balls to finally ask. Thanks everyone(flo + elegant)!!

  255. ElegantSugar says:

    Sure, PrettySweet, I think most of us have a bit of doubt at first. The same way we all feel with anything new (and somewhat dangerous) we are about to venture into. Just like the first time I went skydiving. Just when I was standing at the open door of the airplane, 13,500 feet in the air thinking, “maybe this isn’t for me,” the instructor pushed me out the door.

  256. PrettySweet says:

    Flo-thanks for the advice. Honestly it would only be for a few hours each time. We’d hang out and go out to eat ect…We’ve been chatting through emails a lot and he’s very sweet. He’s very handsome older/married guy. I just wanted something to compare to. I guess I should meet others to see what else is out there. Finding a sd isn’t on the top of my list so I guess I’ll be taking my time. I’m just a bit on edge because I haven’t done anything like this before. Where any of you guys nervous with your first or ever battled feelings of “maybe this isn’t for me”??

  257. ElegantSugar says:

    Flo – since I am you and you are me and we are both trying to figure out who the other is, would that be considered counterintelligence or counter-espionage or something? Will the rest of the blog figure it out before we do? Who are you? Who am I? Are we just half-truths? Otherwise known as subterfuge? Now, who’s confused?

  258. Flo Rida says:

    PrettySweety – there is no right answer, depends on geography – cost of living, your looks age, his looks age, what is ‘involved’ in the 3 dates, whether there’s shopping gifts on top. The general view advanced by others (NYC SB NYGent is maybe $3-5k for NY and high cost of living income areas, maybe $10k for ‘model types’ all in for say 6 dates a month) and less for lower cost of living areas. I’d say $2-4k is average BUT as I said before it’s completely what you are comfortable with. FINALLY you could defer the deicsion and meet other pots to see whether you get better offers equally though there is a saying in restaurant brokerage that your first offer will be amongst your best. Confused? Sorry darling.

  259. Flo Rida says:

    Elegant – but you forgot that I am you and so i’m trying to find your identity (which is really me) just to confuse you (me). And I deliberately included the smiley faces to confuse you – confused? you will be

    Private joke with NYC SB coming up.

    NYC SB – alright NYC SB it was really me i’m trying to find your identity – curiousity got the better of me (evil muuuuaaah ha ha hahaha). Kidding.

    OK PRIVATE joke over

    Femme noir – if everyone’s happy what’s the problem – i’m glad for you – also not sure what person 1 has to be jealous of person 2 for – it seems a healthy interaction (unless i’m missing something).

    MoonPatrol – you have a kind heart – as Eleanor Roosevelt said ‘no one can demean you except yourself’ or something like that.

    Keyser Soze bids you good night!

  260. PrettySweet says:

    Hi everyone, I am new to this site and have met with a pot sd(he would be my first). I was wondering if someone could please tell me what is the “normal”allowance for an arrangement? He has said that he’d only be able to date me three times/month for 2500. Is this ok. I suppose I just want to know what to compare it to or know if it worth pursuing. Thanks everyone:)

  261. FemNoir says:

    2 men in my life.

    My definition is an agreement for an amount of time and amount of dollar. Sounds bad but neither of us have much time. (me and my daddy) We are flexible with days and hours. What we do doesn’t matter. We live close to each other so that’s a plus for last minute situations. Neither of us get upset if one of us has to cancel.. everything is just chill. :) We do have sex because both of us want to. Nothing ever feels forced.

    Now I have another man that I LOVE who would take care of any one of my needs if I asked. We enjoy our time together equally. I can help him for the rest of my life with anything from massages to making him a meal to cleaning up after his dog..nothing matters. THIS has become an arrangement accidentally but I am fine with it. If he calls me at 1am with a head ache, I will drive to get him medicine. It just is what it is. BUT he never forgets me on his family vacations and dinners or special events. There’s mutual love there. We have never had sex. I think we want to but I believe we have too much respect for each other. There NEVER is money involved. I’m not sure what to call each other.. a best friend? wife/husband? unconditional love? This has gone on for 3 years now and I feel that it would be ok if it was forever.

    1st guy knows about 2nd guy but not visa -versa. I think its fine to have more than one Sugar as long as you can handle it with out stress.

  262. cleo says:

    *sigh* it wasn’t very sugary. i just think moon patrol isn’t finding his empathy

  263. ElegantSugar says:

    cleo, darlin’ who is that last statement for?

  264. cleo says:

    i think maybe you might want to consider walking in someone else’s shoes for a second. even if they pinch

  265. Yaz says:

    NCGent~ Hum well I will listen to your instinct then…If it tells you that you might get caught then it might not be a good idea to do it then…

  266. ElegantSugar says:

    Would love to NC Gent. I always thought OBX was a great place to write too. As long as it isn’t during Bike Week!

  267. MoonPatrol says:

    Never lend because you become the jerk when you want your money back. It is amazing to me how screwed up a person can be that makes over $20 an hour that she needs money to keep from being evicted. My interest in here isn’t sexual because I know she is a lesbian. But she has some lessons to learn and she’s already 40!

  268. BrownSugarBabe says:

    @ James: thank you so much,  😀 you should hold a “how to be a real SD course”!!! 

    @ DC: u know him better than anyone but do whatever it takes to avoid the drama, including not bringing him to events where there are “vultures” as Elegant so elegantly put it!! You know how some chicks can be. Keep it light and funny so that both of you can laugh at it at the end of the day!!

    I talked to one pot today, used the advice you both gave me and got an arrangement!!! POW!!! 
    I heart you guys forever!!!!   
      
    And just let me know where both meets (DC and NY) are and I’m totally there!! 

       

  269. NC Gent says:

    I’ve thought about that option Yaz, but have never done that…. something makes me think it substantially improves my chances of being caught, but maybe I am just paranoid.

  270. cleo says:

    Elegant/Moon my father used to say “never lend money that you need to get back”

    if i ‘lend’ money i consider it gone forever, when it returns it’s a gift

  271. NC Gent says:

    Never lend money to a friend that you can’t afford to lose… (ambiguity is on purpose)

    I have some times thought about writing about my sugar experiences — maybe we can write a book together ES, over french press coffee!

  272. ElegantSugar says:

    Flo, not to mention you don’t have to be a member to visit this blog. I never sign in just to check out the blog. Just go to the main site and click on the blog link. It is open to EVERYONE.

    I knew it wasn’t you, Flo. It was drizzled with many smiley faces, which I can tell is not your M.O. (then again, great way to disguise it wasn’t you too.) Back to the lab…

  273. Yaz says:

    NCGent~ Of course you can say that you are going to Tampa but who said that you actually have to go to Tampa 😉

  274. ElegantSugar says:

    MoonPatrol: My dad used to tell me the biggest disservice you can do to a friend is lend them money you know they can’t pay back. He always told me if I had it, just to give it to them.

  275. Flo Rida says:

    Elegant and NYCSB – that’s an easy one, you say ‘prove your identity to me and also make it worth my while to meet you before I reciprocate’ quid pro quo

    Btw it isn’t me – honest.

    Someone asked why not link profiles – it’s because there’s value to one’s identity (embarassing colleagues, SD, reputation, family etc).

  276. MoonPatrol says:

    The best example I have of a Poof Daddy is on my computer. For those of you that us e Mac OSX, you can watch the icon go poof in a cloud when you drag it off the dock.
    As for money promises. For me its all talk until dollars are placed in my hand or a check clears in my bank. I lent a co-worker some money and its funny how I don’t believe a word she says any more about how she will pay it back because they are just stories to amuse what a child. For her, the only thing that I care about is the cash in my hand. Don’t ever lend.

  277. ElegantSugar says:

    NC Gent…the cat is now out of the bag! Just like the cat is out of the bag that the reason I am even on this site is to collect data for a book I’m writing. Someone actually sent me a message through my blog asking me if that was my goal. Not a bad idea, but quite frankly, my other writing projects keep me busy enough with research. If I want to write a book about SD dating, I would just have to be a ghost writer for my first SD. NowTHAT would be a best seller, indeed. Such interesting stories…

  278. NC Gent says:

    I actually will have trouble making an excuse to go to Miami — Orlando or Tampa — I can make that excuse :)

  279. Yaz says:

    Elegant is in! Yay! 😀

  280. NC Gent says:

    Elegant Sugar has uncovered the “ugly” truth about me — I am a woman, and an ugly one at that :)

  281. ElegantSugar says:

    Yaz: I didn’t mention the 3-story condo in Miami because I’m planning on going alone…

    NYC SB: Funny about the email you rec’d from your blog. I had the same thing happen to me, but it wasn’t from through my blog. It was an obvious fake SD account someone set up. Strange. I exchanged personal email addresses with this person because “he” seemed so normal. It didn’t take long for me to discover it was a woman pretending to be a SD and wanting to figure out who I am for whatever strange reason. You can’t fool someone who trained in covert action and the class of breaking social engineering.

  282. cleo says:

    Yaz i’m not visiting my parents (who pay for everything once i get there) so i can’t really justify spending more than that to hang with not relatives… i would love to if i could swing it though.

    really to do both would be awesome, couple of weeks in fmb with a little side trip to miami in the middle :)

  283. CarpathianCutie says:

    Hey all! I’m going to try to get to the meeting Friday, can someone email the info? I have a work conflict, but am going to try to make it!

  284. Yaz says:

    Yay! NCGent is coming! Who else????? 😀

  285. DC SB says:

    NY: thanks! I live in an huge apt building- no power outages but also no work, no metro, no stores open. Rather boring :( I suspect my job will be out all week considering we still have 20 inches that are going to get topped w/ another 20. VA SB is good but ESB had some power issues. I’m keeping in close touch w/ both ladies per this weather.

    NYC- just out of curiosity why do you keep your profile such a secret? Do you show face pictures..? Or keep it hidden?

  286. NC Gent says:

    Hi Yaz — I would be honored to go to Miami with you :)

  287. Yaz says:

    No one wants to go to Miami with me :-(

    *Sitting in a corner, crying my eyes out*

    Hi NCGent! :-)

  288. NJLady says:

    Evening sugar’s,
    Home from school. Heard from my pot. Trying to set up a meeting for Friday, if we don’t get all this snow. I’ve decided to have an open mind about this meeting. Even if nothing comes from it. Since I started school my life is about studying. I’m just going to have a nice time.

    Let me get some rest. Have a good night everyone.

  289. NC Gent says:

    Evening all — just got back from dinner with client.

    ECF!!! huge hugs – good to see you back here :)

  290. ElegantSugar says:

    I have a fabulous (non Sugar) friend in Miami who wants to do a house swap with me for a weekend sometime. They have a 3 story condo. Something to think about.

    NYGent: Women are the devil. Sometimes…

  291. NYGent says:

    cleo/elegant: long story but basically a very cunning SB (nobody i’ve previously written about)

  292. cleo says:

    nyc sb ah so what you’re saying is that you consider my caution well founded?

    when you say ‘never heard of him’ you mean ‘never heard from him’ ?

  293. NYC SB says:

    Cleo – funny enough I had someone email me through my blog claiming to be in the nyc area wondering if i was looking for an SD.

    I went along with this and he wanted to see my SA profile. I told him I wouldnt share. Asked him to send me a pic of himself and never heard of him. Someone is trying really hard to get my identity… not going to happen…

  294. Yaz says:

    Maybe, I am watching too much CSI:Miami lol…….

  295. Yaz says:

    One of my friend who used to live in Tampa moved to Miami, FL and she keeps telling me that I should go visit her someday. She loves it there! I am thinking of saving up some money to go there during spring break……Wouldn’t it be nice to have a blog meet in sunny Miami??? 😀
    How fun would that be??

  296. cleo says:

    yaz i can’t afford it unless i really make a lot of money with my new part time job or i find an sd. but it sounds fun. i will reiterate my ongoing wish that someone sponsor a trip to a meet for me *g*

  297. Yaz says:

    No one??? Poo…….

  298. Yaz says:

    SDs~ think Boobies! (.) (.) Lmao!!!!

    SB~ think beach and margaritas!!!! :-)

  299. ElegantSugar says:

    Same question for NYGent as cleo had. How does that happen?

  300. Yaz says:

    Anna~ Me too! :-) Its all good there is always next time :-) I will be in NYC this week to see SD so I will miss you guys by just a few days :-(

    We should have one BIG blog spring break meet!!!!! Sun, Sand and Fun!!!!! Who is in????

  301. cleo says:

    it’s so funny* how dry and warm it is here and all south of us is getting slammed

    *read weird

  302. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:

    Hi Anna

  303. Yaz says:

    NYGent~ Long time no see!!! Thanks for letting me know! My inbox was full and I had no idea! Its all cleared up now :-)

  304. Anna Molly says:

    Hey Yaz! Wish you could make it on Friday!

    You too NYGent!

    Hi Cleo and Lisa and everyone else I know I forgot 😀

  305. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:

    It is suppposed to turn really nasty here, it’s raining right now.

  306. Anna Molly says:

    I have no snow and I hope it stays away. :)

  307. cleo says:

    NYGent: how on earth were you in an arrangement without knowing it?

  308. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:

    Yaz it just makes me nervous everytime I have to pass them when i’m going to and from work. They have always been very friendly but I prefer to keep it at that, afterall they are two grown men who don’t work and live in a one bedroom apartment with mommy. They hang out in the parking lot all night, doing who knows what. It seems the men here think that i’m interested in them which i’m not. And I never open my door to anyone that I don’t know, and the police really don’t bother coming to this place, they think we’re all the same. I don’t have much but compared to these guys, i’m rich as I don’t sleep on matresses on the floor like they do. I wish I could move.

  309. Yaz says:

    Lisa~ If it is very late at night (hell even during the day) DO NOT open your door to anybody you dont know!!! You live by yourself in a very bad neighborhood so better be safe than sorry. If they keep banging on your door at night just call the police.

  310. NYGent says:

    What is your definition of an arrangement? A meeting of the minds on essential terms, i.e., $$, # of meets, expectations re intimacy, exclusivity vs. don’t ask don’t tell. Some of these terms may be implied.

    How do you know when you’re in an arrangement? I’m not the person to ask, I was in one once and didn’t even know it (!)

    Would you date more than one sugar at a time? Doubtful but never say never.

    How is your sugar-dating going? Ok, nothing concrete to report yet.

    AM: great news!

    Yaz: you know your email no longer works?

    ECF: welcome back!

    LASB: belated congrats on the victory

    all D.C. area bloggers: hope you’ve got power and are digging out, brace for the next snow surge too.

  311. Lisa that Actually Has an SD says:

    Gee is there a cloud of gloom passing over or what? I am so depressed this evening. This whole week is totally going to suck for me. Nothing to do, no one to talk to, my email friends have vanished and now I’m having problems with those creepy guys downstairs. They’ve lived here several months (2 grown men with tatoos all over their faces and thier mom) I always speak to them when I pass by just to be neighborly but now one of them was banging on my door last night and one was at my door a few minutes ago. I don’t answer my door as I’m not letting some strange guy in my apartment. When you’re a single white woman living alone here, it seems like these guys thank you want company, which I don’t.

  312. ElegantSugar says:

    cleo: I sent you my thoughts in private. :)

  313. ElegantSugar says:

    That’s it. I am canceling all of my trips to meet with pots because I found the one. How can I pass up the thought of Flo Rida boobies and babies? And to think they will all go to Hertz University is an even bigger turn on. My search is over. THANK THE LAWD.

  314. cleo says:

    evening sugars.

    i am going to start a new profile and separate blog cleo from SA girl. so does anyone have anything (other than better pics) they think i should do for my profile?

    i will ask for feedback for the new one when i get it up but i’ll ask in private.

    i used to like having my profile linked here but frankly if a blog sd/lurker sd wants to meet me he’ll just have to ask stephan to send his email to me or whatever. i’m really starting to come around to those of you who don’t connect the two.

  315. ESB says:

    I’m putting my SD search on the back burner. It’s depressing. Im going to take a break, see what other kind of trouble I can get myself into.

    Have a great night everyone. Sugar HUGS!!

  316. ESB says:

    Im back. Flo, you are hysterical. LOVE the criptic message to Elegant.

  317. Flo Rida says:

    Anna Molly – prima, wunderbar, 2010 bist glucklich fur dich. bis bald

    NYC SB – we have a saying in England which is ‘it all went tits up and pear shaped’. Apparently because men always want tits down and pear shaped is when englishwomen put on a lot of weight around the hips and thighs – which is why I think you meant ‘pearls’ and not ‘pears’. Of maybe you were going to do interesting things with Pears. Also where are the edible chocolate and Krug champagne?

    Elegant – me has $$$ & I dig u sick baby, wana meet b4 wrk 4 a quickie & make boobies & babies. Daat wuld b gr8t. Word!

    TXSB – thanks darling!

  318. Yaz says:

    NYCSB~ Hey girl! :-)

    I was just kidding lol We would love to come but I have to work until 8pm on Friday :-( . I hope you girls have fun tho!!!! I would have loved to see you and Anna again!!!

  319. EastCoastFilly says:

    Gotta run out to the grocery store..I’m hungry and cupboard is bare…be back soon to catch up

  320. EastCoastFilly says:

    Aww thanks, likewise :) I am so happy to hear you found someone, after you were going to give up. And AM found someone too! so excited. I would love to hear all the details but of course best not to share too much here. We can try and all get together soon and all share out latest. I am never at a loss for a good story, lol. I keep the couple friends of mine who know about this part of my life highly amused.

  321. NYC SB says:

    Yaz – we all invited ourselves… i will add you to the list

  322. Yaz says:

    ECF~ Heyyyyy I certainly would love to see your beautiful smile again :-)
    Its been a while!!

  323. EastCoastFilly says:

    Hey Yaz! How you been?? Missed you too.
    Wish I could make it next Friday but I can’t. Would love to be in the loop for the next one though :)

  324. Yaz says:

    And I cleared the room again…..lol

  325. Yaz says:

    Muse~ Dang I keep missing you!

  326. Yaz says:

    Anna~ SD and I would love to come to the NYC meet on Friday but no one invited me so too bad lol jk

    East Coast Filly~ I missed you!!!!!

  327. ElegantSugar says:

    My first SD was 20+ years older than me. He went out dancing 6 nights a week. I’m not sure how he managed such a successful business with the fun he liked to have, but it didn’t prevent him from being Mr. Suit during the day. (Actuallly, he was Mr. Suit at night too.) Talk about partying like a rock star, living like a movie star…

  328. LASB says:

    Elegant – That’s great! I think there are a few young men who are highly evolved and more mature than some of the older guys.

  329. ElegantSugar says:

    LASB: I definitely paused for a bit on the young SD – mostly because I am legitimately attracted to older men. Always have been. However, he definitely charmed me through letters and over the phone. I originally told him, “no thank you.” But now, I am very excited to meet him! He has an older soul like me. So, like I said earlier, he seems to have that WOW factor that makes me break my own rules. We shall see…

  330. LASB says:

    San Diego – That’s hilarious! Luckily for him, I haven’t encountered that guy. I’d probably toy with him for a while, just to watch the train wreck.

    Cleo – I’m the same way. Outside over inside. Part of why I live in this fine city.

    Regarding young SDs – I don’t know if I could go there. I like the old dudes. I’m always teasing my friend that I’m going to hook up with his hot dad. He then warns me that his mom is going to come and kick my a**.

  331. Midwest Mistress of the Dark says:

    Evening sugars!

    What is your definition of an arrangement? When both parties agree to share time with one another with said benefits, perks, allowance, etc.

    How do you know when you’re in an arrangement? The only way I am familiar with is to talk about, and agree to be in an arrangement.

    Would you date more than one sugar at a time? No.

    How is your sugar-dating going? It’s very sweet indeed.

  332. Anna Molly says:

    I’m off to trivia night! I’ll see everyone later 😀

  333. DC SB says:

    NYC- I agree, the young ones want to think they still “got it” which they do, they just don’t have time to “get it” =)

    Elegant, it’s def a trend! A good trend indeed..

    San diego- I’d def ignore that. DUHmb! Haha.

    AM, hopefully he’ll come out to play next time =)

  334. SanDiego sb says:

    didnt even think of that. i never really have to block anyone on SA on sd4m…. thats another story i think i block more than i email lol

  335. ElegantSugar says:

    …and then you BLOCKED him, right, SDSB?

  336. ElegantSugar says:

    Yes, AM, that’s what I was going to say! LOVE that movie! “Joey, have you ever been in a… in a Turkish prison?

  337. SanDiego sb says:

    i told him that he sounds like a pedofile and a rapist and he should do everyone a favor and delete his profile.

    ..too harsh? lol

  338. NYC SB says:

    I think OC got the same email at one point or another… it is in our hall of shame blog

  339. Anna Molly says:

    SDSB ~ Isn’t that a line from the movie Airplane? The pilot looks at the little kid standing next to him and says “have you ever seen a grown man naked?” LOL…that is one of my favorite movies 😀

  340. cleo says:

    lasb i will ALWAYS pick work outside over reading work stuff… always.

  341. ElegantSugar says:

    That’s interesting about the SD label. Mine didn’t like it either and even the pots I’m speaking with have mentioned they would prefer not to be called SDs. So strange, I am flying out west to meet a pot at the end of the month. He is the same age as me. Not what I’m used to AT ALL. I was reluctant at first, but NYC SB made me reconsider when she mentioned, “it’s a new trend.” I did all of my research on him and he is definitely who he says he is and certainly qualifies in all areas of SD-ness.

  342. SanDiego sb says:

    ewwwwwwwwwwwwww read the message i just got

    “I really like your profile a lot but I am concerned and would like to know if you have ever seen a grown man naked??”

    uhmmm WTF hahahhahaha. its sooo gross and funny and disturbing all at the same time, is he serious?????? has he messaged any of you that before??

  343. Anna Molly says:

    Hi Everybody!

    DC ~ No, he will not be joining us on Friday :(

  344. DC SB says:

    The only sugar happening right now is me eating candy on the couch =)

  345. NYC SB says:

    Mine is not 30 yet… so yes i think you got it exactly why they dont like being called an SD … however, if it looks like a duck it quacks like a duck then it must be a duck

  346. LASB says:

    ESB – No, it’s probably me. I have no sugar news, so I just talk about boring non-sugar stuff, so everyone leaves. lol.

  347. DC SB says:

    Haha, esb I’m here! I emailed back already :)
    NYC – our SDs are a lot alike I think.. Is he the 30 y/o hottie?
    I think it’s the age/looks/money thing- their ego refuses to let them think they “need” an SB.
    =)

  348. ESB says:

    And I cleared the blog again… sigh…

  349. ESB says:

    DC: you have mail!!

  350. ESB says:

    My kids have ALWAYS taken better care of my than their dad EVER has. Can’t even tell you all how blessed I am… except for when I was on pain pills and hallucinating… my now 20 YO video’d a conversation with me. It is HYSTERICAL, but so mean of her to do that to me. I told her if it ends up on Utube, she is so dead!!

  351. LASB says:

    ESB – Your daughter sounds awesome and I’m sure she feels the same way about you!

  352. NYC SB says:

    aww ESB thats cute!

  353. ESB says:

    LASB: I used my “work out” as an excuse to allow myself a bowl of salsa and more-than-I-should-have-allowed chips AND 1/2 cup of coke. So bad for the thighs, but when I came in I was shaking really bad from the sugar low, & my daughter got scared. Drank a quick glass of juice, THEN ate the “treat”. I was fine after a minute. She made me eat lunch then… kinda makes me wonder who’s the parent sometimes. Have I mentioned she’s the BEST kid ever? And I have to agree, shoveling snow sounds much more interesting than a pile of legal papers… ick

  354. Chitown SB says:

    ok i’m off to meet mr. printer…. wish me luck ladies

  355. NYC SB says:

    DC – so your SD and mine are similar in the whole “getting weird about being called an SD”… I would bring him around to meet your friends that have a bf on their own

  356. LASB says:

    ESB – As crazy as it sounds, I’d be ok trading places with you. Shoveling snow sounds more fun than sitting around reading a mountain of papers. At least you’re getting a workout. I feel like breakfast and lunch are just accumulating on my thighs.

  357. ESB says:

    DC, LASB, AM, ES, Cali, Chitown, NJLady, Muse, anyone I missed and all the Lurkers! HEY!!

    I am one hurting SB wannabe!! I HATE snow. No, I hate the ice UNDER the snow… no, I hate snow!! lol… shoveling it sux!

    But on a happier note, I can now leave my house!! As soon as Baby Girl finishes the DVD I need to return, we are on our way to get her some more. School has already be called off for tomorrow, and she is spending her night with her dad. Im going to attempt to go to work tomorrow, just to come home early, and be trapped here AGAIN! Can we just stop with the snow already?? 19″ is enough, we are expecting 10″ more tomorrow! Still thinking how sexy that tractor is…

    I sent out 6 emails to pots this morning, 4 have been read, one responded…. very briefly. Just here’s my email, we can exchange contact info, pic and explore… OK, lets see where this one goes.

  358. LASB says:

    DC – Glad you are both able to see through all the shenanigans. Crazy how transparent some people can be.

  359. DC SB says:

    Thanks everyone for the advice!

    LASB: it’s not based on jealous/fear more like, ugh what unnecessary drama have I brought him into.
    He told me during dinner I was the most beautiful girl there =) he’s such a gentleman, I’m not worried about them actually catching his eye. Just being crazy/fertile/hormonal girls. Haha.
    But I agree w/ trying to make a light joke of it =)

    Elegant, we made up a story of how we met =) but they all would make terrible SBs. They are genuine gold diggers, all they talked about all dinner was money or the like.
    One girl just randomly said “I have a BMW”- when NO one asked. He & I laughed about it later.
    But I agree, find yo own man dot come backslash you probably can’t keep one
    Haha =)

    Cali- our rela is more along the lines of LTR/exclusive than SD/SB- he hates the term “SD” for instance- so he wants me to meet his friends/employees and go on double dates in the same way I want to introduce him to my friends.
    But! Thank god he can’t be found on social networking sites. He can be googled however. No contact info though.. Which is why they’re now resorting to let’s invite her out and tell her to bring him along! (To treat him like an ATM I’m sure and flirt up a storm). Sigh.
    Some women..

    Ps congrats AM are you bringing your SD along to the meet? =)

  360. LASB says:

    I should be reading, but I’m procrastinating via the sugar blog. I have a new mountain of docs to review for lawsuit number two. …Out of the frying pan and into the fire. Despite being from California, I’m NOT lawsuit-happy. It’s a class action for a property where I’m a shareholder, and they will do it whether I partake or not, so better to have some control over my fate. ugh.

    Cali – Let me know when you are available to go freestyling. Would be a cool way to blow off steam. :)

  361. Anna Molly says:

    Thanks Elegant 😀

  362. ElegantSugar says:

    Forgot to tell you congrats, Anna Molly on your Sugar news!

  363. DC — I would evaluate what to do based on what his personal desire for discretion is for your arrangement. I would try to google/facebook/etc him first to see if he’s able to be found. If not, there’s no chance of them finding him, so no point to bring up unnecessary drama. Same thing, if he is the type that wants a lot of discretion it’s best to play it as low key as possible about the situation. Maybe just jokingly say how your girlfriends were totally smitten/jealous about your situation or he was the hit of the party (paying the tab, gorgeous car, etc) and it wouldn’t surprise you if they googled him to find out more or had any friends for them.

  364. ElegantSugar says:

    My comment is being moderated so I am reposting without the fake link:

    DC SB: Wow. What vultures. My goodness. how about you send them to “FIND YOUR OWN SUGAR DADDY DOT COM”. HA! If you and he are close enough to the point where you talk about those things, then yes, I would let him know. I would approach it in a “I am the luckiest woman ever” kind of way. That’s just me.

    Chi: DC is right. Confidence is the new black.

  365. LASB says:

    DC SB – If you tell him, keep it light and funny and flattering, rather than catty and fear-based. Something like “seems that you were quite a hit at the party. Hopefully you don’t find yourself being jumped in a dark alley by any stalking gold diggers.” And I’d say it’s best not to put too much energy into it. Energy flows where energy goes.

  366. ElegantSugar says:

    That wasn’t supposed to be a real link by the way. I was being funny. (Sorry, OC!) Oops. :(

  367. Anna Molly says:

    Thanks Yaz and ESB! Yaz, I hope you can make it to the dinner on Friday! 😀

  368. Anna Molly says:

    Chi ~ A LBD would be perfect! I agree with DC, wear what you feel sexy and confident in. Good Luck!! 😀

  369. DC SB says:

    Chi- that’s what I was thinking. But I didn’t want to stress him w/ sorry but, some gold diggers might pop up out of the woodworks & jump you.
    But I think you’re right.. Thanks =)

  370. DC SB says:

    Sorry that was exceptionally long. :)

    Chi- I think black is always a good choice, especially for a dinner date. And go w/ what gives you confidence– because if you don’t feel 100% confident, it’ll show, and no dress is as sexy as pure confidence :)

  371. Chitown SB says:

    DC- I think if you inform him you may save yourself some drama and him some stalking. And hey, it may give him a smile to know he is so heavily sought.

  372. DC SB says:

    Alright I have a question for the SBers-
    I had a pretty crappy night this past weekend while holed up in the blizzard w/ my SD (not b/c of him) but I took him w/ to a gf’s bday dinner. Small group- he was the only guy, 5 girls total, including me.
    1 was fresh out of the Miss America pageant, placed top 10 (hmm I wonder who.. Haha) anyway. Based on looks alone 1 kept staring at him, even when he wasn’t speaking. And another to his right kept trying to engage him in side convo/touch his arm when he said something funny and laugh- you all know what I’m talking about.
    But I thought whatever, he’s with me :) and everyone knew- he paid at the end of the dinner which made the girls even further freak out, and when we were walking out, he held out his arm to walk me to his car and apprently (according to my gf) they saw his car and immediately went into googling him on their phones.
    I have no clue how they even remembered his name from 3 hours prior but they all are now gunning for him- trying to find him over fb, linkedin, twitter- anything. And have emailed my gf saying, please let us know if they break up etc. And are apparently also planning on inviting me out (and will ask that I bring him along too) just so they can get more face time with him.
    So a) I have no idea how to handle that, besides of course never bringing him to events where I don’t know everyone- and b) should I inform him incase they manage to stalk him well enough to contact him somehow?
    Seems very dramatic..

  373. NJLady says:

    Okay Sugar’s, he’s a good guy. He wrote and said he was expressing a level of desire for me. Of course we have to meet and see if we like each other. I’m glad I cleared that up. Made me feel better. Like you said, ElegantSugar, honesty is best. Thanks Sugar’s.

    Have to get ready for school. Peace out for now.

  374. Chitown SB says:

    sigh… I always hate deciding what to wear on a date. my current thought is black halter dress and my suede peep-toe maddens (they always give my the xtra boost of confidence I need). it looks good on me… but its oh so cold here.

  375. Anna Molly says:

    I haven’t caught up on the blog yet, soooo…..maybe I should go do that..LOL 😀

  376. Anna Molly says:

    So, what is everyone up to?

  377. DC SB says:

    NYC surprisngly I’m not getting something too far off for my SD. Haha. Plus a couple of thoughtful items specific to his tastes/interests.

    I agree w/ James’ assessment for how you know you’re in an arrangement, good choice Elegant! :)

    PS if NC is lurking.. I’m watching mama millionaire now, she chose the guy she had a hissy fit over? I don’t get it.

  378. DC SB says:

    NYC: yay! K I will be looking forward to the email. I was going to send an email later on in the week. Let me know if you need any help.

    BSB: there is a DC meet on the 20th! And an NYC meet this weekend- I’ll be at both since my SD is taking me to the city for the Vday weekend :) let me know if you can make either, thatd be wonderful! Especially since as of now we only have 4 girls total for the DC meet, always looking for new SDs and SBs to join :)
    I was a newbie not long ago myself, and the blog along with some crazy first date experiences made me realize exactly what I want and (I went to college in NY so the mini NYer in me) wants to cut straight to the chase!

  379. NYC SB says:

    Im getting him the equation for happiness… in case he needed one 😛

  380. Muse says:

    NYC SB- You’re getting him *pears*? Interesting….

  381. ^wants Louboutins for Valentine’s Day. :)

  382. ElegantSugar says:

    NYC SB: N I C E. ’nuff said.

    NJLady: Seems you did the right thing and now just wait and see what he says. Honesty is best. Appears the whole rigmarole is causing you so much anxiety and certainly that’s not what Sugar dating is about.

  383. EastCoastFilly says:

    NJLady, just wait and see what he says. I’m sure this will either make or break it. Hope he turns out to be a good guy.

  384. NYC SB says:

    I know what NYC SD is getting for Valentines day… 😉

    it really is what every man wants

    NYC SB
    +
    Lace Lingerie
    +
    Pears
    +
    Louboutins
    +
    Trench Coat
    =
    A Whole lot of fun

  385. So we have 2 SD’s coming to the CA meet now that JamesNY is confirmed? Are there more that I’m unaware of or are we maxed at 2? 😉

  386. NJLady says:

    Alright, I just emailed him back. I basically to him, what he said made me uncomfortable, if he was looking for something on our first meeting, then I was the wrong lady. I’d like to meet with you (him) on a introduction level to see if we have chemistry. I was honest with him, not insulting. But, I need to know.

  387. ElegantSugar says:

    By the way, probably my favorite response to the question so far is JamesNY:

    “You know you’re in an arrangement when you worry about what to get her for Valentine’s Day!”

    Cute.

    I’m not big on the tube either, LASB. I just know that show is one huge, potpourri of a mess! (A friend of mine is part of the production crew for that as well as a few other reality shows so I will catch them every now and then just to see his work…)

  388. NYC SB says:

    James sure has a way with words doesnt he…

  389. LASB says:

    Holy moly, time for me to get off this thing and be productive already! :) Maybe I’m ready to start attending the SBA meetings now. I think I have a problem.

  390. LASB says:

    JamesNY – got it. So you are coming to the meet? :) :) :)

  391. JamesNY says:

    LASB, not there now, will be then! I hit OC for work now fairly regularly, it comes and goes.

  392. JamesNY says:

    BSB, that “newbie smell” can be attractive to the right man. The main pointa you want to get across, subliminally, are 1) your time is valuable and 2) plenty of fish in the sea. The bottom line, of course, is respect — for your time, your intelligence, your unique charm. If they don’t value it enough to go for it, someone else will. So get it on the table in whatever way works for you, the ladies here are probably much smarter than me about techniques for dealing with dopey men!

  393. LASB says:

    JamesNY – Oh cool, you are there now? So do you do a lot of biz in LA?

  394. JamesNY says:

    LA meeters, I’m at the Ritz in Marina del Rey — early flight out of LAX.

  395. LASB says:

    Elegant – I love the train wreck. I don’t know why, but I’m so fascinated by it. Could be just a defense mechanism, or some other sort of psychosis. No, I’ve never seen Rock of Love. I only just got cable and an LED out of pressure from my dad. He’d complain every time they visited. It’s fine, because I plan to watch the Olympics and World Cup, but other that, not huge on the tube.

  396. BrownSugarBabe says:

    @ James and DC SB: thanks so much for the advice! You’re both so right!! I think I may have that newbie smell so maybe I’m easy prey. But I will definately take both your advice!

    DC SB: I’m on my phone too!!

    And @ James, I’m from NY too so maybe it’s a NY thing, LOL.
    I will keep at it though!

    And if there’s a NY or DC meet (Im in both places often) I’m down!!
    Thanks again!!!

  397. ElegantSugar says:

    I love the rooftop at Standard in L.A. – although, I am somewhat amused at what the servers wear; doesn’t seem fitting for the ambiance there. (polo shirts, skirts, white knee socks and clunky tennis shoes?) What exactly is that look?

  398. ElegantSugar says:

    LASB: You crack me up. You thrive on trainwrecks, don’t you? Am I wrong in my assumption that you watch “Rock of Love” for entertainment too?

  399. NYC SB says:

    DC – I will try and get reservations for the places you suggested. i will have a better answer to you and NYC Bella tonight… of course I will only send this via email 😀

    Sorry guys had a super hectic weekend.

  400. LASB says:

    Cali – Yes, the midweek happy hours should be pretty good.

  401. LASB says:

    Ok, based on how everyone keeps describing what a train wreck of a site SD4ME is, I wanted to give it a try. I’ve now been on it for an hour, and I will concur that the quantity is very high and the quality is extremely low. Yeah, yeah, you told me so. I’m suddenly highly entertained, though. :)

  402. Hmm.. that could very well be a hotspot for businessmen visiting for conventions. Best to visit there during the week then!

  403. DC SB says:

    ‘Afternoon everyone,
    I’m going to pull a Taylor & type on my phone :)
    Where are we meeting for the NYC meet? I think Bella asked, I 2nd.
    The SD & I can only stay for a bit, but I’m very excited to meet everyone :)

    BSB: if they are a true SD they will ask YOU, what are your needs/what do you want in this arrangement? Etc precisely because they know it’s a touchy subject.
    And after I discuss my needs, I ask theirs-
    SDs sidestepping? Seems pretty non-SD-like to me.
    However I suggest you say, What made you decide to join SA?
    What type of arrangement are you looking for? What are your needs?
    Let him go off on a tangent and then say- (if he doesn’t ask) Well my needs are this X, Y, Z and based upon your needs I think (this type of arrangement would be best: allowance, gifts whatever) and state it up front.
    If they poof you’re never going to see them again, no need to feel bashful.

  404. LASB says:

    Cali – It is opening downtown near the convention center. They decided that DTLA needed another hotel so that people will have conventions here. Sorry about your drama. Hope it gets resolved.

  405. Hey LASB! I plan to be at the meet because I committed to it a while back. The ball is rolling on the horrendous drama that has been drowning my life, things will either get better or way worse from here. I’m hoping for the former! Where is the Ritz? I’m so out of the loop, I wasn’t even aware we didn’t have one or that one was opening! We should definitely check it out. :) Maybe some IRL pot SD’s will be feeling loving and generous because of the impending holiday this weekend. :)

  406. EastCoastFilly says:

    NJL: look forward to hearing what happened. you never know maybe hes too new at this. I always ask up front in the first couple emails if they are or if they have done this before because then I know what I am in for :)

  407. LASB says:

    Hey Cali! Good to see you. Are you going to be at the meet? (I’m not controlling the list, so I have no idea who will be there.) There is a new place to freestyle that will be open in just days. The Ritz! :)

  408. Just wanted to stop in and let those of you who are coming to the LA meet (or traveling anywhere soon for that matter) that Ramada is having 50% off right now if you book through Feb. 12 and stay before March 31.

    http: //w ww .ramada. com/Ramada/control/just_for_you1?acx_mid=420984:13440093178:3468198&acx_rid=1221842442

  409. NJLady says:

    OKAY……I just heard from him…..this guy, either he really does like me, hasn’t had a women in his life since his divorce, or wants to seduce, (excuse my french) the “Hell” out of me. I need to let him know, up front, “this kind on talk is making me feel uncomfortable, but I would still like to meet with you”.
    I’m going to meet him, for coffee, nothing else! I’ll let someone know what I’m doing and keep their # on speed dial.

  410. JamesNY says:

    BSB, I’m not sure there’s a completely tactful way to bring it up. It’s not great that you have take the initiative with them, but you do. Some guys think that their natural good looks and innate charm will be so compelling, and the women so desperate, that they can slide by just with buying dinner. Some guys actually seem to enjoy protracted bargaining with people in what they perceive to be a less advantagous bargaining position. They will be passive aggressive about the arrangement until the issue is put squarely on the table. Some guys may be very inexperienced and not know how to raise it or what to say or propose. Either way you should bring it up so you can move on if necessary. My two cents.

  411. Chitown SB says:

    LASB- I guess that just goes to show someone’s “online” personality can be very very different from who they are everyday IRL.

  412. BrownSugarBabe says:

    Hello Sugars! 
    I apologize in advance fir the long post! This is my first blog post although I feel like I know you all so well because I’ve been following it since I joined SA about 3 weeks ago. I think its great that you all are so helpful to eachother, like a big family. And to all the SD’s on here: your insight is priceless!  My luck with SA has been eh..the trouble I have is in getting the 2 SD I’ve seen so far to even discuss an arrangement. I’ve brought it up tactfully but they also sidestep it tactfully! I don’t want to be pushy or seem like all I want is $$$ but at the same time I’m like: DAMN, we did meet on SA not eharmony!! So any advice I can get on how to discuss starting an arrangement would be so lovely. I have a lot to offer to the right SD but I’ll be damned if I’m giving it away for nothin when there are generous fellas out there willing to take care of me in exchange for my sweetness, feel me? LOL

    What is your definition of an arrangement?
    *when both parties come to an agreement, with specifics involved.

    How do you know when you’re in an arrangement? 
    *no such luck…YET :-)

    Would you date more than one sugar at a time?
    *Yezzir…I would at this point although ideally no.

    How is your sugar-dating going?
    *2 dates this week but so far I seem to be attracting stingy men who want girlfriends. I will gladly be a “girlfriend” but I’m a smart, gorgeous girl who needs her rent paid!!

  413. LASB says:

    Elegant – I’m glad I’m not the only female hypocrite. 😉 Hypocrisy loves company. HA!

    NJ – Yes, if you are going to be out money for seeing the guy, maybe not a good investment. My crass pot chose one of my favorite restaurants in all of LA, located on the next block where I could walk (a rarity in LA), so it was only a time investment for me. His restaurant choice is on the Michelin list, and that earned him just enough red flag dismissals to get me to show up. Then, when he was tall, thin, and wearing glasses, he pretty much had carte blanche on whatever lewd things he wanted to say. hahaha. But in reality, he was actually very gentlemanly and even a bit shy.

  414. NJLady says:

    I’m going to wait and here back from him. I didn’t exactly comment on what he said, only that I appreciate the compliment on the beautiful part, that was it. As far as the picuter of him, he’s nice looking. I would rather see for myself. I admitt, to have gotten turned on by someone’s picture, then when I meet him, total not want I expected.

  415. NYCBella says:

    LASB~you have mail…

  416. ElegantSugar says:

    OC…could you please pass my email address to Chitown SB? Thank you!

  417. Chitown SB says:

    Elegant- That sounds great! It would be nice to meet another SB, and from the blog you seem like a pretty wonderful lady.

  418. ElegantSugar says:

    What EastCoastFilly said above (wasting time and money)…PRECISELY explains why I am ONLY interested in an experienced SD.

  419. EastCoastFilly says:

    ES: You got that right, feels like 5 years sometime

    NJLady: again, I think you really have to trust what you feel as far as going any further. Have you seen his pic, are you even attracted to him physically? I have a suspicion this will end up being some guy who thinks you are going to sleep with him on day 1 and wants to just enjoy eachother for sex or he will be a pay-for-play. That’s how most of the guys who were too forward early on ended up and I wasted my time and money on someone useless and clueless.

  420. ElegantSugar says:

    It IS true that Sugar dating is accelerated dating, BUT, in my opinion, that’s a bit much. Even though things happen a bit faster in this world, I feel the men should still exercise a bit of tact in those first exchanges of communication. Although, I am in agreement with LASB, I’m ok with animal instincts if I’m feeling and have expressed the same. We are hypocritical pigs.

  421. LASB says:

    NJ – That being said, I’d still go and meet him. But that’s just how I roll. hahahaha. My most recent pot had a horrible profile (crass, full of txt language, etc), but when we met in person, wow did the sparks fly. However, we did have a nice phone conversation beforehand, where he was a total gentleman.

  422. LASB says:

    Eww. Sorry, but he sounds desperate and lacking in the class department. Though, I’ll be the first to admit, a guy can get away with speaking to me like that if he’s hot and I’m thinking the same. If he’s some frumpy fatty though, yuck! (Sorry, I know I can be a pig.)

  423. ElegantSugar says:

    Hi, EastCoastFilly: In the Sugar World, 9 months is equivalent to 5 years, if you ask me! It certainly doesn’t take long to learn about good, bad & ugly!

    Chitown: I am coming to your area very soon. Coffee? Martini / Wine?

  424. NJLady says:

    LASB & EastCoastFily- This is want he wrote to me after I email him pictures:

    “You are exactly my type. You are very beautiful and very sexy! Let’s be friends and very eager lovers. I’m tired of all the BS and flakes in New York…I’m available, and I want you. I can almost taste you….you are intoxicating. I am dying to kiss you, with heat and passion.”

    Then he just say’s he can’t wait to see me, and want do I do for a living.
    If I do meet him, it’s during the day, a lot of people around.

  425. Chitown SB says:

    Elegant, I couldn’t agree more with your comments… “I can almost taste you” just seems slimy before ever having met someone.

    NJLady, I have been asked what I do for a living, and as I love what I do I don’t take offense. Plus, it gives us something to talk about. Its great that the guy is so enthusiastic about your looks… but that’s laying it on a bit. I would just proceed with extreme caution and don’t be surprised if on a first date, he wants to take it to the bedroom so find out what other “chemistry” you might have.

    Oh, and I forgot to say congrats to Anna Molly… there is hope for the rest of us!

  426. Chitown SB says:

    What is your definition of an arrangement?
    You get what you want, I get my requested sugar, and limits are understood by both parties.

    How do you know when you’re in an arrangement?
    We are having fun, I am making them happy, and I am being taken care of with my requested sweetness.

    Would you date more than one sugar at a time?
    I believe so. I don’t like to sell myself short esp if I know the SD is doing the same. But I am also not having sex with any pot. SDs right now… that might change things just for safety’s sake. I’m not looking to juggle a whole bunch, but I don’t think its wrong to have a couple just in case.

    How is your sugar-dating going?
    A few Pot’s. Meeting one for dinner and a jazz club tonight, another for lunch tomorrow and another this weekend. The one I am meeting this weekend I have met once before and it seems like it might work, but we have to see. Trying to decide where I am being too picky.

  427. ElegantSugar says:

    NJLady: Comments such as he can “almost taste” you when you two have not built that kind of rapport (based on what you have said) and the fact you have not even met is total sexploitation. No me gusta. Asking what you do for a living is normal. Commenting on the gustation of your body (in such an early state), not good.

  428. EastCoastFilly says:

    NJLady, its so funny the guys are so worried its all about the money and we women worry its all about the sex. I guess everyone has to try and be as open and trusting as possible or at least enough to dive in and take a chance. Sometimes you get burned sometimes you get out quick enough. You really never know although you hope to be able to see if someone is lying early enough in the relationship by their actions.

    I just went back and reread your post about the content of his email. See now that does bother me, most times when a guy had been that up front about sex and/or anything physical he is like an octopus on the first date, hands everywhere. I mean really how can he know he wants to taste you so bad already? Curious to see what his response is next. Are you planning on meeting soon?

  429. LASB says:

    Sorry, meant to type *Why else would he even need to mention it?

  430. LASB says:

    NJLady – Do you think that he’s saying “it’s not all about money” because he is not wanting to provide an allowance? Do you think he’s a cheapskate? I find that when they say that right away that’s what it means. What else would he need to even mention it. Of course it’s not all about money. Just like it’s not all about sex.

  431. SouthernGent2 says:

    Anna Molly – I agree with your comments on sd4me. I tried it a couple of times. I just found the “quality” there to be much different than on SA. Just seemed like too many stripper and escort types on that site.

  432. NJLady says:

    LASB & EastCoastFilly- I think he just wants to make sure, like he wrote, “it’s not all about money”. He really is looking for someone. Just don’t come on so strong, that part scares me. Only becasue it’s happened before. Not with SD’s, with guy’s in general.

  433. ElegantSugar says:

    TXSB: Flo was poking a bit of (much deserved) fun at me. I clarified my statements before about grammatical errors by further illustrating what I meant. I ignore messages written in TEXTIE MCGEE languae. For example: “U R HOT. I WANT 2 MAKE YOU MY PRINCESS. CALL or TXT ME 2 FIND OUT MORE. THAT WOULD BE GR8.”

    So not dripping with eloquence or class. Not my cup ‘o tea. Of the pots I am currently speaking with, 2 have PhDs and one has only a high school education. The one with the high school education is a horrible speller, but very eloquent in conversation.

  434. EastCoastFilly says:

    Oh and I tend to think if he is asking what you do for a living hes taking some interest in you? That would be my thought on that. If he didn’t want to get to know you he wouldn’t care what you did. You can describe your job/position without telling him the name of the company.

  435. EastCoastFilly says:

    Hi NJLady, I have to tell you most times if I start to feel this way I decide not to pursue anything but there were times where I foolishly gave someone a chance kinda knowing it didn’t feel right and sure enough I was right, they were either a poofer, complete flake, control freak or just a plain fake. If you decide to meet this guy do so without exchanging too much personal information this way if you decide to walk away he doesn’t really know that much about you. You can also just flat out say, I am not comfortable sharing too much info until we meet and if he doesn’t like it too bad, he is supposed to make you feel comfortable and safe. I gave one guy a hard time about sharing too much info and my safety and he was more than patient to ensure I felt 100% at ease and he was the real deal. Its been said so many times…go with your gut!!

  436. LASB says:

    NYLady – I’ve been asked that before. Sometimes they ask that to make sure we’re not just lazy SBs who are irresponsible. Some SDs don’t care if you are, and others want to be more of a mentor to help you reach your goals. But then, it doesn’t mean he’s not a fake. He could be. Go with your gut.

  437. NJLady says:

    I have a question, whoever can anwer….I’m starting to get a, not-so- good feeling over that guy. I don’t believe he is a true SD. My question is, do most want to know what you do for a living? I don’t mind, but him asking me that, makes me think he just in this for sex, not to help up. All the red flag are starting to show themselfs. I’ll see if he writes back.

  438. EastCoastFilly says:

    Hey everyone! I see my old pals from the NYC meet on here all at the same time! I have been off of here since new years and its almost taken me that long to catch up. Sooo many new people I feel like the newbie again. But love all the new people, personalities and stories. For those who don’t know me I’ve been on SA for about 9 months and on the blog since last fall. I met some of the bloggers at the first NYC meet back in Dec.

    Anyway, I will try to get on here more regularly and keep up with all of you. So many interesting topics I should have commented on as I have encountered just about every situation you can imagine in 9 months…good, bad and ugly :)

    NYC SB, I love your blog, keep it up! I check back every day anxiously waiting the next entry.

    Anna, so happy to hear you finally!!! found the right guy and you too Yaz, I remember reading you found him too. yippee!!

    Oh…and hi to my gents Gents…NC and NY

  439. NJLady says:

    LASB- Yes. There is no way to respond to him, unless “I” signed up. If the person isn’t a member, the only was to respond is to send a “kiss” with a message….and that’s what I did. I’m learning from you guy’s.

  440. LASB says:

    NJLady – He actually asked you to upgrade? Wow, that’s a red flag! Gimme a break! Nice comeback, by the way. Sounds like his private jet came out of a crackerjack box.

  441. Yaz says:

    There is another NYC meet??? I wanna go! I wanna go! 😀

  442. Muse says:

    TXSB – Thanks. All good things come to an end and I’m just glad to have had the great experiences. :) How is your search going?

  443. NYC SB says:

    IF a man on a SD site cannot afford the upgrade then he is no SD…

  444. Yaz says:

    Hey ALL!

    AM~ You go girl :-) I knew the right one was out there for ya!!!

  445. NJLady says:

    NYCBella- I just deleted my photo. Should I keep it up and then cancel before my 3 days are up? I haven’t signed up for anything, so they do not have my credit info. They have this Access account for $14 that you can sign uo for to contact people, but I haven’t done that. A guy sent me a “kiss” and wanted me to upgrade. I sent him a kiss back, with the same message. You’re the one with the private jet, you upgrade!

    TXSB- The next time he writes I’ll make that clear to him.

    Thank you both. Maybe I’ll just stay here, where it’s safe.

  446. LASB says:

    Oh wow!!! Ok, now I’m very curious but I’ll take it off the blog. haha.

  447. NYCBella says:

    LASB~Actually, I met him through my consulting/events work (*wink*)…I broke my rule. Though technically, after papers are signed, in another 2 weeks it won’t be a conflict of interest. 😉

  448. LASB says:

    NYCBella – If you don’t mind my asking, can you share where you met your SD IRL? Just being nosy. :) Oh I’m bummed that I won’t be at your meet. :(

  449. NYCBella says:

    Hey NYC SB! Gotta love the dust!!! Looking forward to seeing everyone on Friday! Has anyone been thinking about where they want to meet?

  450. NYC SB says:

    Hiya sugars – Just had lunch and a bit of sugar dusting with my SD… one perk of working 3 blocks from each other 😀

  451. NYCBella says:

    LASB~actually, for the last 2 weeks, the only msgs I’d gotten on here and on SD4Me were flakes, fakes and men who want an escort. Even, all my pots had been txting and flaking out (3 of ’em, mind you!) and putting me on hold for our 2nd or 3rd dates. Then out of nowhere, I get a really thoughtful email from this guy. So, we’ll see. Not sure if I’ll be able to compartmentalize though, cause I’m a smitten kitten for SD IRL (but, I keep reminding myself that if it’s gonna work, and that’s a big IF…it will be LDR, so who knows what’ll happen after the next 2 months.)

  452. LASB says:

    Good morning Bella. That’s great that you now have another pot. Sounds like when it rains it pours.
    Thanks for the heads up on SD4me. If I ever join, I’ll know to use fake photos and let my trial “expire.”

  453. TXSB says:

    Muse:
    Sorry to hear about your SD.
    ————————————————————

    NYCBella:
    Hi and yes, it was a good game last night!
    ————————————————————

    Off to run errands…see you all later!

  454. NYCBella says:

    Morning Sugars!

    Ah, the poor Colts…oh, well. Good game atleast. I met up with my girls last night (ended up being 10 of us which was awesome!) we had a table loaded with bar food, beer all around, were each following all the plays made and still managed to get in our girly gossip time. We were officially the ultimate females of the night managing the ability to multi-task, skip high-maintenance drama and be the hottest things in the room! And, many of the girls I hadn’t seen in months so I’m making good on reconnecting with people before I go to the other coast.

    In other news, I’d mentioned how my SD search had been put on the back burner due to my really great thing developing with SD IRL. However, yesterday, I was contacted by a really amazing pot. And, I’ve decided to be uber picky so I’ll only consider taking an SD if it’s really really worth my while. Ladies and gents….ding, ding! I think we might have a winner! :) Only time will tell.

    NJLady~to answer your question from last blog…SD4Me does have a few legit SDs on there, but they’re few and far between. You don’t have to pay for membership (something they don’t advertise, but I found out when I didn’t upgrade my account after the 3-day trial and I could still access everything). The only thing about this site (which I posted yesterday), is apparently, they’ve created a sister site called SB4U and they created a fake profile for me and posted my pics w/o my permission. I contacted their support immediately to remove me and they’re giving me the run around. Oh, and on this sister site, you can’t remove pics or your profile. I’m p*$$ed to say the least! So I’m going to be deleting all my pics/profile words from the SD4Me site so they can’t do that again. I’ve heard it takes forever for their IT dept to remove an account (again, you can’t just click a delete button), and if you google them, there’s tons of complaints from paying clients who tried to cancel their memberships but are still getting charged 6-12 months after said cancellation. So, I’d say whatever you do, DON’T give them any credit card information. Besides, you can respond to any paying account members without having a paid account yourself.

    Lily~Hope you’re having a blast! Can’t wait for details.

    Muse~Great to see you on here again. Sorry you’ve had to resume your sugar search, but everything happens for a reason.

    Oh, and I can’t remember who brought it up about the married SD who wants exclusivity and LTR of 5+yrs before even meeting, BUT…this thought just crossed my mind…aside from the hypocrisy of the situation…he’s being so demanding cause he wants to make sure that he doesn’t get an STD and his wife find out about his escapades. Makes sense, really, but totally your call.

    Oh, and NJLady, I don’t like to play the email, call, text endlessly game simply because unrealistic expectations can get built up in my mind about where a situation can go. Then, you meet the guy and can possibly be completely disappointed by awkwardness, lack of attraction or just have nothing else to talk about. Worst case scenario, meet for a drink or coffee and see if there’s any chemistry, then take it from there.

    Morning, AM, Flo, NC Gent, Bambi, TXSB, LASB and any others I might have missed! Happy Monday!!!

  455. TXSB says:

    NJLady:
    I don’t like to waste time on men who’re not serious. Personally, I would recommend that you let him know that you will not become intimate with him until you receive your allowance. See what his reaction is. If he says something like “that’s fine” and says that he still wants to get to know you and meet you…that’s a good sign. But if he asks “why not” and tries to reason with you…or all together poofs, then you don’t end up wasting anymore time with this and can move on.

  456. NJLady says:

    TXSB- I know, I thought the same thing. I wrote back to him, not committing on what he said. Maybe if I just meet him, I could make it clear that I want us to get to each other first before talking about “that”. Or should I let him know first. No free test drive here girlfriend.

  457. Anna Molly says:

    I have had bad experiences with SD4ME. That is where I met the Super 8, play with me for $250 guy. Although, you’ll find these kinds of guy on any site! I also found that a lot of the men on there were looking for traditional relationships or escorts. It really became more of a pain than anything else. IMHO SA is by far the best site I’ve been on.

  458. Bambi says:

    every one just lurking and working today.
    its snowing up in denver its totally wild !!!!!!!

    hbut i hate the snow unless im off snowboarding anyway so im totally biased. :)

    how is the rest of everybody else doing ???

  459. TXSB says:

    NJLady:
    Personally it’s a red flag for me when a man makes those type of statements by just seeing a pic. If a pot SD doesn’t take the time to get to know me at all, but makes comments about how he can’t wait to kiss me etc….well that makes me think that he’s looking for an escort (OR is trying to butter me up for a free test drive..lol).

  460. Bambi says:

    Right now i havent found the sugar mommy or daddy for me.

    chemistry and connection are super important to me.

  461. TXSB says:

    Flo Rida:
    Hey! I don’t think there’s any way to tell if a SB or a SD is a “poofer” other than just seeing if they follow through. Once a pot SD and I agree on an arrangement, I’m not going to wait weeks or months to receive my allowance. If 1 or 2 weeks goes by and he keeps coming up with excuses as to why he’s not able to give me the allowance, it makes me very suspicious as to if he’s serious. On the flip side, there’s no way for a SD to predict whether or not a SB will “poof”. But after a few dates if she still comes with excuses for not being intimate, then he should question her “plan”.

    As for paying attention to grammar, eloquence and class…..I don’t think those things necessarily determine whether or not a man has $$$. At least here in Texas, I’ve met plenty of men who made their money in Oil, but they’re not “classy” or “highly educated”. I know men (not only through SA, but also men I’ve met IRL) who own contruction companies, or other businesses that don’t require them to be highly educated or classy….but they’re still worth millions. So even though I’m attracted to men who carry themselves with class, if a SB assumes that a man doesn’t have the $$$ to spoil her just b/c his grammar isn’t perfect or he doesn’t have “class”, then she’s missing out on a lot of “options”.

  462. LASB says:

    Flo – In my humble opinion, I’d say it’s that actions speak louder than words. I think it’s true in dating outside the sugar bowl, too.

  463. NJLady says:

    Sugar’s I need HELP. The pot SD, (that I mention to those that were on last night) from sugardaddy4me, is diffiently interested. According to him, he is tired on all the BS in NY, I’m beautiful&sexy, what he is looking for…..he can almost taste me, dying to kiss me. All this from a picture a friend of mine took. I want to meet him to see if I have chemistry first. I don’t hard his feelings though if I don’t like him. But at the same time, I don’t want someone who is that eager to seduce me right away. God, before I couldn’t get arrested, now they won’t leave me alone.

  464. LASB says:

    So I have a huge crush on the bartender, but it results from the cumulative effect of only knowing this person with my “wine goggles” on. If I go to the bar once a week for an hour (which is pretty much what I do) that’s 52 hours of knowing this person through goggles. This seems to be his tactic, as he doesn’t charge me for the wine (just the food) and if I go to the ladies room, the glass is magically full when I get back. Of course it doesn’t hurt that he has NO body fat.

  465. Flo Rida says:

    TXSB – you raise an excellent point – is there any way you can ‘tell’ a SD is a poofer or indeed is there any way SD can tell SB is a flake (I know NYGent, Sincere and IRLSD have had problems in past) or is it only actions speaking louder than words?

    I know Elegant screens for grammar, eloquence and class (and eliminates poor spellers) but that’s different and maybe a poor speller is real (instead of a poof).

    Just a thought. OK all have to run to Hertz!

  466. LASB says:

    Oh Muse, sorry to hear it. Well I actually didn’t know what your status was since you were such a vault at the meet. But ok, now all the pieces are coming together. Was the spreadsheet everything you dreamed about and more? hehe.

  467. Muse says:

    LASB – I was busy with my niece. My SD and I ended things amicably a few weeks ago. Hence my trying to hijack a certain someone’s spreadsheet. No luck so far, btw.

  468. LASB says:

    TXSB – I know all about that. I don’t trust anything until “the fat lady sings.” There are a LOT of phony SDs in LA.

  469. TXSB says:

    LASB:
    Hi and thanks! :) One thing I’ve learned during my time in SA is that a lot of these “SDs” will agree on arrangements, but when it comes to actions to back up those agreements, they “poof” real fast.

  470. LASB says:

    TXSB – You make a good point. I didn’t answer the how do you know question because it seemed sort of self explanatory, but that’s a great answer out of you.

  471. TXSB says:

    How do you know when you’re in an arrangement?

    When the pot SD and I agree on an arrangement, AND I receive at least half the allowance. A lot of people “agree” on arrangements, but to me it doesn’t mean much unless the pot SD actually comes through with the allowance.

    Would you date more than one sugar at a time?

    I don’t know. I always said that I would never date more than one sugar at a time, but I’m not so sure about that anymore.

  472. LASB says:

    CA Dreamin – Hahaha. yeah, the guy who contacted me spoke about how he wanted to date an Asian woman because “Eurasian children are better looking and more intelligent.” I told him that I wasn’t interested in his eugenics project, but thanks anyhow.

  473. CA Dreamin SB says:

    LASB – No, I’m not Asian, Wasn’t sure where the guy found you, if it was SA or another site, but this guy was in SoCal and after a few very nice emails was all about ‘have my baby’…all I could think was WTF? I REALLY hope there isn’t more than one out there….

  474. LASB says:

    Hi Muse – Welcome back! I haven’t seen you for a long time. Is that because you have been super busy with your SD? 😉

  475. LASB says:

    CA Dreamin – Oh, are you Asian too? He was on Est. Men. Yeah, why would an SD talk about making babies? YUCK! The hilarious thing was when he switched to fake photos. I mean, there’s a guy with a lot of foresight.

  476. Anna Molly says:

    Thanks everyone! You guys are the best 😀

  477. LASB says:

    Sorry for all the bold. Not sure why my close tag didn’t work.

  478. CA Dreamin SB says:

    LASB – I just caught up on the entire weekend of posts, but, “incubation” guy – I think he emailed me a few times too – we actually emailed for a while…until the whole BABY thing came up! ICK!

  479. Muse says:

    James – You don’t have to worry. Just get her chocolate, lingerie, and a sweet gift. I can recommend these fantastic champagne truffles that a very sweet someone got for me recently.

  480. CA Dreamin SB says:

    Morning all – WOW – just caught up :) Congrats AM!!!

  481. JamesNY says:

    Yay AM!

    You know you’re in an arrangement when you worry about what to get her for Valentine’s Day!

  482. LASB says:

    Anna Molly – YAAAAY! That’s awesome news!

    Good morning everyone!

    Would you date more than one sugar at a time?
    Not unless it was very specific. I still have my fantasy of dating two SDs who were friends, but other than that, I’d prefer to not be juggling. Of course, if everyone could know about each other that could work too. I like to be an open book, so I’d rather not have to work too hard to “cover my tracks.” I feel that way about married SDs too. Seems like risk I’d rather avoid if I can. Cheated-on wives can get crazy and I don’t want to be on the receiving end. Also, the married SDs that contact me are just looking for afternoon delights, which is not what I’m looking for at all.

  483. Anna Molly says:

    Thanks ESB 😀
    I’m extremely happy!

  484. ESB says:

    IRLSD: Didnt konw you were lurking! Good morning, and catch you later. I’d like to be able to leave the house today, so I need to get moving. Later!!

  485. ESB says:

    WOOT!! Im so happy for you AM!! That is great news!!

    On that note, I am going to go shovel my driveway. Build me some muscles in my arms and legs… gotta convince myself there is going to be some benifit to kiling myself while out there. I also get to splurg on some kind of treat for myself when I come in for working so hard! Hmm.. some rich creamy hot cocoa maybe?

    I’ll be back later. Have fun everyone!! Sugar HUGS!!

  486. IRLSD says:

    To catch up on a couple of things from the last blog:

    Lily, I think 29 and 30 are the same, so even though I am opposed to fudging facts, I’d forgive an SB for that one. And I think it’s smart, because I tend to select 18-30, someone else might select 20-29 in their searches.

    NYC-22: I have learned to judge SBs by the way they treat wait staff at a restaurant. Nothing turns me off more than an SB who whines incessantly about the service or who gives the waiter attitude. I would have died if I was on a date with someone like that guy.

  487. NC Gent says:

    Hi ESB! You are so coy AM :)

    I am heading out on a business trip — hope everyone has a great day!

  488. IRLSD says:

    What is your definition of an arrangement?

    An agreement between two individuals to be together for a stated duration of time and in return for specified gift. I make this definition very clear to every SB. The duration I typically choose is monthly with the option to continue things or to opt out at any time.

    How do you know when you’re in an arrangement?

    When we reach an agreement about an arrangement.

    Would you date more than one sugar at a time?

    Yes, it seems like I rarely date only one sugar. I feel like dating one is like putting all my eggs in one basket and that if one SB were to give me all the attention I want, things would get too sticky.

    How is your sugar-dating going?

    Good I suppose. Gone three days without seeing SB and we’ll see how it goes from here. Seems promising. But not getting distracted is hard. There is one SB I never met who keeps texting and the moment I am bored, I get tempted to meet her. But having cancelled my account definitely helps. Plus, I’ve been keeping myself super-busy with other things to suck up from free time, as time + money = trouble.

  489. Anna Molly says:

    Hi NC, ESB and Muse! 😀

    Let’s just say I deleted my profile and I’m not looking anymore. 😀

  490. ESB says:

    Good morning Muse and NC!! Good question, AM are YOU in an arrangement?

  491. ESB says:

    What is your definition of an arrangement? Being with someone who is fun, shows me respect, and gives me sugar because he wants to improve my life, help me with my struggles, and not just for the benifit of some intimate times together.

    How do you know when you’re in an arrangement? Im getting sugar, we are both happy with the way things are going, and he is getting what it is he wants from the arrangement… can it really be that simple?

    Would you date more than one sugar at a time?No, I can’t see me being with more than one man at a time. Will be hard enough to keep one man from my daughter, can’t imagine hiding 2!

    How is your sugar-dating going? I am not curently in an arrangement, but there are some pots Im considering…

  492. NC Gent says:

    Hi Muse!!! Huge friendly hugs — I hope you and your sugar world are doing well!

    To answer the questions, I would have more than one SB at a time, if I could find the right situation, but it could potentially be a lot of work, as well as expensive.

  493. Muse says:

    Excellent. My timing to come back is perfect! Only two comments to read.

    Hi AM and NC!

  494. NC Gent says:

    Hi Anna — so do you have an SD? Enquirer minds want to know lol
    If you do, congratulations!

  495. Anna Molly says:

    Would you date more than one sugar at a time?
    No. It would be way too much for me to handle.

    How is your sugar-dating going?
    It is going extremely well! I’m very, very happy with how things are right now. 😉

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