8 years ago
Public Sugar Daddy Indiscretion?

8 years ago
Public Sugar Daddy Indiscretion?

The David Letterman mistress faux pas is just one of many recent media frenzies surrounding powerful, wealthy men in secret relationships with attractive younger companions. Dave took care of his 34 year old assistant-sugar baby’s tuition, and was also planning to buy her a $300,000 house in Connecticut. Bill Clinton, Elliot Spitzer, John Edwards, and John Ensign are just a few examples of men put under fire for their secret, mutually beneficial relationships.

About 75% of SeekingArrangement members prefer to keep their sugar daddy dating a secret, but could doing so be dangerous? While keeping your sugarlife totally private may be the best and/or only option for you, it’s wise to consider the possible advantage of having at least one local friend knowing where you’re at and who you’re with during your adventures. We’ve all heard about the dangers of online dating, but still too often we compromise our safety in the heat of the moment.

Should someone who is so well known be keeping a mistress?

Does money and power make people more likely to cheat or seek arrangements rather than traditional dating? Why or why not?

Do you take special precautions when dating a Sugar Daddy or Sugar Baby? If so, what are they?

Do you have any upcoming dates with a Sugar Daddy or Sugar Baby? Care to share?

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641 Responses to “Public Sugar Daddy Indiscretion?”

  1. TravisC says:

    I havent been asked to go on a date yet! =( any takers?

  2. are there any sugar mamas out there for me?

  3. Leslie says:

    Be careful sugar babies. Going onto one of these sites is not always the highlight of dinner conversation with your parents. I met a gentleman who because i would not go out with him again went to my parents home about 8 hours away from my home and told them that he loved me and that we had met on the seekinganarrangement site..it was horrible and embarrasing and showed me that this person who made it appear he was in search of an arrangement really had other intentions and that was to control my life and make me fear what he is capable of doing. I closed my profile and will never return..i can met controlling men on my own i don’t need a rich control freak..be careful..what you want comes with conditions no matter how its packaged.

    Leslie

  4. palm says:

    hi sugar fam, its been a while since I posted. so, I have this pot married sd who i met through SA, the issue is this type of arrangement is new to him so there is a few things he needs to figure out .I have had a couple of SD in the past but both were met IRL .the first one introduced me t the lifestyle and the seconde one understood the concept, so things were easy.with this one how can I get him to understand that it’s better that the allowance be set for the month and not for each time we meet.I understand some sd may not be comfortable with giving the whole amount to a new sb before a certain level of trust is established but I would just like to bring this up without sounding like I’m more interested it the money than a relationship.

  5. Ms Behavin~389197 says:

    dont leave me I’m on my way!!!

  6. photogirl says:

    Ahh KitKat you crack me up!

    NY Gent – A gentleman indeed :)

    Ok…off to the new blog.

  7. NYC SB says:

    I kindly request everyones presence at the new blog… it takes less time to load 😀

  8. NYCsb he was a pot alright a Crack pot.. I kinda laughed at it too!
    never heard of such a thing. I told him I do not take care of men!
    I have all male cousins and None of them Ever accept money or anything from a woman NEVER!! that man had to have been dropped on his head!

  9. NYC SB says:

    im sorry kit kat – a pot asked YOU for gas money… this made me spit my wine!

    NCGent – that was incredibly sweet… i wish every SD had the same courtesy :) im sure a worthy SB will fall in your lap (literally and figuratively) very soon

  10. yes ladies Mr. Pampers was full of $_itt

  11. VillaCypris *396153* says:

    HA! That’s one way to shut him down…

  12. Ms Behavin~389197 says:

    Was laughing at the MF post … the last one made me spit wine….damn girl too funny

  13. SugaCaneBby says:

    Sorry NC Gent! My last post was meant for TLG (I realize hours later). Oi. I really MUST sleep more.

  14. Ms Behavin~389197 says:

    Kit-Kat~ LMAO

  15. I knew I wouldnt be meeting him long ago because heis profile said SERIOUS relation ship and yet I kept not Replying to him and he Kept on e-mailing me, so I pull an ATL Nic on him
    I asked what was his sugar history… and when he didnt say too much I told him I needed 3500 a month! plus gifts and a Inc Woman entire fall collection! lol of course he said he didnt understand, but his x wife used to have a Citi trends credit account he paid… YUCKKKKKKKK
    who is he foolin!!

  16. VillaCypris *396153* says:

    AHAHAHAHAH!!!!!! I can hear it now…. don’t mean to laugh, but I’m sure no one has ever put him in his place like YOU did!!!!! 😀

  17. K-K – Congrats on twins…I’m sure they are wonderful! Glad you tossed that loser. Another reason to flag these duds!

  18. VC he had me seeing red I was so hot! I felt like cussing him out, lol
    Then he says You sound like a white girl!! lol I said oh I usally use proper english when I speak people tend to pay attention to you!
    I said or should I just call you a MF every other Word THEN will I be Black enough!! lol

  19. Ms Behavin~389197 says:

    Kit Kat~sweet twins Sorry he was an A**

  20. Taz says:

    Lmao you go girl!!

  21. VillaCypris *396153* says:

    damn!

  22. he says Why didnt you put that you have children on/in the profile?
    I tell him because My babies arent olde enought to be Dating!
    he says well I dont buy pampers … I tell him Listen here buddy I do not Solisit my Children for a Step dad, they Do not need it and I do not need help With clothing or feeding them, and I think it is funny you question my funding when you asked ME for fuel money.
    THEN I hung up!

  23. VillaCypris *396153* says:

    K-K – yes, glad you used THAT phone!!!!!! :)

  24. Sorry they are 10.5 months old

  25. VC I wish I could forget that turkey I spoke with today, MAN I am glad I used my secondary phone!

  26. you were Nice!! NYGent another gold star for Kindness!!

    I had to hit the buzzer on a pot today! lol He asked me for gas money lol
    I said sure lemme go get my creditcard What westernunion you want me to send it to?
    lol This is after he asked if I had been Sexually active since my twins had been born*they are 1.5 months old*
    hahahahahahah lol hahahhahaahah
    I then told him ya know I should just stop you right there, you seem to think I am guialliable and or weakminded. my Va-Jay -Jay isnt your buisness and wont be your concern!
    lol he asked about my twns how do I pay for them……. Now yall Know KIT – KAT do not play about her babies!! he was getting the dialtone forsure

  27. VillaCypris *396153* says:

    Thank you Ms Behavin. The general was a wise man!

  28. Ms Behavin~389197 says:

    well said VC

  29. Ms Behavin~389197 says:

    Awww NYGent I think I just feel in like with you lol. Wish my last ex -boyfriend would have let me down so gently. Your very sweet.

  30. VillaCypris *396153* says:

    NY Gent – your predicament brings to mind a quote from one of the namesakes of my university…. General Robert E. Lee…. who said:

    “The gentleman does not needlessly and unnecessarily remind an offender of a wrong he may have committed against him. He can not only forgive; he can forget; and he strives for that nobleness of self and mildness of character which imparts sufficient strength to let the past be put the past.”

    I think your letter to former-SB exemplifies the spirit of a true gentleman!!

    Taz – you are most welcome!! :)

  31. Taz says:

    VC – I also wanted to thank you for your advice and assistance girl!! Thank you so much!!

    BG – you out there tonight lady???

  32. Taz says:

    No dumping allowed 😉 I think you were very gracious and honest, kind and warm…you are a true gentleman NY Gent :)

  33. NYGent says:

    Villa:

    A. Lincoln said “with malice toward none,” I try to follow that credo whenever possible . . . (but occasionally it gets tested!)

  34. VillaCypris *396153* says:

    I agree. Well said, without malice or manipulation.

  35. NY Gent – Well said. I can’t imagine parting with hard feelings after you have been so good to her.

  36. NYGent says:

    thanks kit kat. here is text of message i sent her tonite. Maybe i’m a chickens__t for not delivering in person, but I didn’t want to wait another week for our next scheduled meeting since I just need a clean break and need to move on. I hope this is a sensitive enough email to her feelings, others will let me know:

    Dear ___

    After today it’s clear that our arrangement is not working out. I had hoped that during the trial period you would become more comfortable with me but obviously that has not happened. As I told you I am patient and willing to wait to see if genuine feelings on your part develop but I see no evidence of that happening, or any indication that it’s going to change with time. If anything, you seem less at ease than when we first met. No hard feelings on my part, I’ve greatly enjoyed your company, am happy to have helped you out to the extent I could, and think you’re a terrific and very intriguing (not to mention talented) girl. We gave it more than a fair chance over four dates and it just hasn’t happened, so I think it best to part ways on friendly terms and nice memories (the “late” brunch and panhandling kid at 5 Ninth, the hand rolls at Morimoto that you struggled to eat, and the fabulous evening at Feinsteins). I’m truly sorry I wasn’t able to gain your total trust and affection, despite my best efforts. In the end maybe our age diff was just too much, or you just weren’t that into me for any number of reasons which are your prerogative. I doubt that you would disagree with any of this. Best of luck to you in your searches and your endeavors in school and beyond (with “Les Convertibles”). I hope someday we can meet up for a drink or whatever to share memories and accomplishments.

    With great affection and fondly,

    ___

    Ok posters dump all over me now . . .

  37. NYGent says:
    October 20, 2009 at 3:18 pm
    NYC SB: of course in my situation she is not really even doing a good job of faking it, so it’s sort of a moot point. she is making my decision easy, a better actress would be more difficult to deal with.

    Wow NyGent that is really sad, you telling me you contuniue on with this ingrate! I think you should get a gold star just for Patientce! I mean you could marry her and THEN she could act like that with out Reprocussion, but this is a NSA arrangement … Maybe buy her the book!, Ijust find it really really infuriating when a person just uses a person for their own gain, she oughta be happy you are a gentleman and not pressuring her.

    I do think before you pull the plug let her be for a while and cut all communication and see if Desprete -e/text mails start coming through, if so I would then tell her the I cannot get past our age diffrence!*what ever she used on you*, NYGent youve been patient ,met your fuduciary responsiability, and you are trying to wine/dine her.

    Let NYC hook you up! sure her friends are top notch just like her!

  38. Hello…is this thing on :-)

    Seems I’m on at the wrong times…hmmm…does my breath smell bad???

    Hee hee.

  39. NY Gent – I don’t feel the need to add my input as you have been inundated…I hope you find what I call “inner peace” …whatever decision you make.

    Hi sugars!

    I’m excited that my profile is starting to attract the responses I have been hoping for – yeah! I’m e-mailing with a few pot sds and still have one to meet. Only one has “poofed”. I’m fortunate that I haven’t gotten the rude ones, but I think it may have something to do with their age bracket being different from mine.

    Some of you had mentioned you didn’t think it helped to upgrade. Personally, I have found it allows me to see who has favorited me…if I like them I’ll send the first e-mail. It’s worked out so far. I have also noticed that if I visit someone’s profile 8/10 will visit mine. Is it worth the money? I’ll make up for it in the long run :-)

    I’m glad to see all the positive feedback about LDRs. I’m hoping I get to meet someone who lives in another city too. It just adds another new element to the experience and I do like the fact the SD can relax and enjoy the day.

    That’s all for now!

    XOXO
    NSB

  40. RedMaru says:

    Hey again sugars I’m finally home and tired
    Aww I missed NC GEnt(bottom lip pushes out)

  41. SugaCaneBby says:

    NC Gent – Ex bf of mine and I had a long distance relationship. We made an attempt to get together at least once a month and talked and text each other practically everyday. It was fun, the travel to see him and going to sleep with him on my pillow (i.e. my phone). It definitely adds some spice and excitement to the relationship as you’re not underneath each other all the time and when you finally do get together, you’re bursting with joy at the sight of each other. Ensuing bedroom activities are quite nice as well. 😉

    I believe long-distance is the only option for me at this point in my search (unless I bump into a wonderful man while I’m out and about). I’m not adverse to it all as I’d LOVE to visit new locales.

  42. Ms Behavin~389197 says:

    Ok ladies the SD that was supose to take me to lunch <but was held up waithing on a charter( from this am)just texted ,said he had finally made it to Atl. ( he had a dinner meeting) and that he would have to reschedule for this weekend.Sooo mm not holding my breath on this one.

  43. Taz says:

    NC Gent – there is a fine line – agreed. I wouldn’t feel good about myself if I wasn’t attracted and in it just for the money – don’t think I could look in the mirror the same – but to each his own. As was mentioned, attraction involves more than solely the physical appearance…a person’s mind, character, wit, confidence…can really change a person’s attractiveness – for the good AND for the bad.

  44. NC Gent says:

    lol Holly — I am a wuss at heart and I am leaving before I get the heat — I will check on my blackberry tomorrow so let me have it SBs and/or SDs.

  45. Holly Golightly says:

    just jkg, btw

  46. Holly Golightly says:

    NC Gent – you can’t make such a provocative statement and then just disappear!

  47. NC Gent says:

    Hi RedMaru! Ok on that note, I am heading out. Will be out of town tomorrow and I am going to have dinner with my ex (and now platonic friend) SB, sans sugar lol have a great week everyone!

  48. NC Gent says:

    Ok, if we are being blunt…. I would end it with my SB immediately if I thought she wasn’t attracted to me. I know there are lots of elements to attraction. To me, if you are intimate with a man that you aren’t attracted to at some level and you are just doing it for money, well that is pretty darn close to prostitution.

  49. RedMaru says:

    Afternoon sugars! Just scrolling to see what I missed and it looks like alot…(grumbles) always when I’m at work. Coming in late I would also add to applaud BigAppleBaby for honesty and correct summation of the sugar situation(oooh big words and it rhymed!)

  50. gurlnextdoor says:

    NYGent I wouldn’t be able to fake it with a SD. If I’m not into him no amount of money can make me pretend to like someone enough to be intimate with them. My body and mind just don’t function that way.

  51. NYGent says:

    BigAppleBaby: as the intended recipient of your “brutal honesty” I take no offense either. thanks for taking the time to comment.

  52. Flo Rida says:

    Holly Golightly or BigApple – it’s hard to be a billionaire today without being a hedgie, PE guy or distressed debt guy or have inherited wealth and then these people can be accused of being robber barons. You are gazing at a man’s soul and you do not like what you see – that is your choice & no one will criticize you for making it. PS I agree with NYC SB in that some hedgies are great (not all though).

  53. Kayuk says:

    aoife, will send u a quick email so u have mine

  54. Holly Golightly says:

    BigAppleBaby- I for one applaud your honesty. Why should men be able to seek the youngest prettiest women with little consideration for any other character traits and yet women must feel guilty or bad about putting a man’s wage packet before his physical attractiveness. Just nature taking its course in both cases afterall?

  55. NC Gent says:

    No problem BigAppleBaby — but may I respectfully suggest that if you are going to be that blunt that you get the correct person. I think you mean NYGent not NC Gent :) Thanks :)

  56. Holly Golightly says:

    Kayuk – Glad you like it – thought it held a few parallels with this sort of thing.
    I have had a few rude mails as well and at least one unpleasant encounter. I am willing to bet all i own that this sort of thing is rife in Britain I just don’t think they are as comfortable with the advertising for it aspect – a bit incompatible with the British character maybe? or maybe it kills the mystique a bit

    Anyway if you want to exchange notes you can e-mail at aoife71 at yahoo(uk).

    X

  57. Anna Molly says:

    Yes, she is young, but at 22 she knows who she is and isn’t attracted to. I have always been attracted to older men and I always knew that even at a young age. If she led you on and made you think she was attracted to you then she was in the arrangement for all the wrong reasons and its time to cut ties.

    My idea of a perfect arrangement would be to find someone who I’m 100% attracted to and who is attracted to me. If the chemistry is right then the arrangement part becomes icing on the cake and makes it even more exciting!….sigh, that would be heaven :)

  58. NYC SB says:

    I personaly love hedgies… but thats just me… 😀

  59. Kayuk says:

    OOO i like that 1..
    Well i only joined about 2 weeks ago and i havent paid.
    Spoke at length to a couple a few really really rude!!! i bet you have too.Kind of nice to have someone else to chat to about it though.
    It would be ideal for me and i am really interested in this kind of relationship – it just seems that for us brits- we dont have any men that are interested – There is one on this site tho who got really nasty when i wouldnt fly out to his desination and stay at his home – without even talking on the phone!!!!! xx

  60. BigAppleBaby says:

    NC Gent-

    Please forgive me for I tend to be very blunt. Of course this is just my opinion (I have not seen your picture or profile) and the other SBs will probably disagree with me, but here goes:

    I agree with Lisa- it sounds like she may not have been that into you.

    I have had this discussion with a few of my sugar baby friends. We all agreed that we could fake it to a certain extent provided the guy was not completely unappealing or a complete asshole—as in someone who did not bathe regularly or who smoked or abused us emotionally or physically. Otherwise, if they were not too unattractive and we were getting an allowance and only seeing them on a once a week basis we could do it. Of course we are all trying to find sugar daddys that we really like and find attractive and respect and admire but that doesn’t always happen or they can be few and far between. So before all the SBs come down on me- I am just being honest as far as me and my SB friends go.

    And as someone on the blog once said- the men who pay the really high allowances tend to not be that good looking. So hopefully they have other good traits going for them like wonderful charming personalities or are fascinating or super intelligence which can also be a turn-on. Other than the fact that spending time with them will be very lucrative. But just like you guys will put up with women who are drama queens or not that interesting if they are really beautiful, some of us will spend time with men we are not particularly attracted to if the allowance is right- while we look around for someone we are more attracted to or who excite us more. What I have found is that many of the men at sugar daddy sites are men who have tried to find a casual sex partner at a site for casual affairs and because the women are outnumbered by the men 100 to 1, tey have no luck. Especially with the beautiful women who can pick and choose. If these guys have some money to spare they come to this site where the sugar babies outnumber the men 10 to 1. So they can afford to be choosy. But the gorgeous Sbs can also afford to be choosy. Like the woman in the 20/20 video who had I think 4 sugar daddys- well I wonder how many of them she would date if they had no money

    I also have a few SDs as friends and I hear this over and over again. They tell me about their SBs who don’t want to rush into intimacy. I have one SD friend who has been paying a drop dead gorgeous woman 10K a month for the last 3 months in hopes that she will finally throw him a bone.
    All of my SD friends are really nice men but they are all average looking at best, in their 50s and out of shape. In my heart I know these women are just using them but I don’t have the heart to tell them. I suggest that they move on if they are not getting anything out of the relationship but I am not that blunt with them in person. Men are suckers for youth and a pretty face- that is a fact

    As for the uber rich SD who wanted to pay me thousands a visit- well he is a hedgie. I saw Capitalism- Michael Moore’s latest movie about wealth and greed. The one thing I cannot fake is disdain for uber wealthy men who made their money this way. That is just my opinion. It doesn’t really matter if they give to charity, they made money while the market was tanking and that IMO takes advantage of others who lost their life savings. I respect how smart these guys are but I just don’t have a whole lot of respect for Wallstreet in general. So still not sure about his offer. The money is so enticing I don’t know what to do. And for that reason I feel like a hypocrite.

  61. AoifeUKSB says:

    Kayuk- How am i finding the site? well its been more miss than hit and I currently have no pic posted and no intention of renewing my membership. Draw your conclusions from that. When did you join and how have you been finding it?

    BTW for no apparent reason I have decided to change my moniker to Holly Golightly so will respond under that name from now.

    XX

  62. Sweety~AKA BG*395953 says:

    Hi Sugars, just trying to catch up… but it’s way too long… 😀

    NYGent ~ i’m sorry things aren’t working out for you, she is young and maybe feel a little out of her league … I am sure you will make the best decision for you!

    NYC SB~ you so totally rock girl!!! Thank you, Thank you!

    Back to work for me, see you later!

  63. NYC SB says:

    James – everyone at my job is a self proclaimed alpha males… i dont even think they are an AA personality type… its just funny to see them brag about their alpha male-ness …

    here is a joke for you: how do you intimidate an alpha male?

    wear 6′ CLs and tower over them… their confidence shuts down to zero hahaha

  64. Kayuk says:

    I am indeed at Bristol Uni.
    How are you finding the site…

    And NYGent- as someone with no SB experience – Yes it must be hard to get used to, However i’d like to think that i know why i am here and what i want from it. That i feel is the beauty of such a relationship – the honesty- She should be honest enough to say a) this isnt working for me or B) i’m feeling a bit uncomfy… Just as you have to look after your own interests…… But that is just my penny’s worth

  65. AoifeUKSB says:

    NYGent – I doubt she means you any wrong. Like you said she is very young and getting used to an arrangement might take some adjustment.
    If its not servingyour interests, though, i can see why you need to end it. However, why not leave the possibility of meeting again in the future open. Afterall sheis growing and maturing all the time.

  66. NYGent says:

    creme, i guess both

  67. AtlNicole says:

    Hello Sugars! Lovely Tuesday. I skipped class today to sleep in. Now I feel bad about it. Oh well.

    There is supposed to be a big meteor shower tonight that I want to watch. I will have to drive away from the city though.

    NY Gent – As a 22 year old I feel confident in saying that faking it is hard to do. I could make an attempt, but it would be obvious to everyone involved that my heart wasn’t really in it. I don’t know your SB, but the longer she waits, the more it looks like she may keep you waiting indefinitely.

  68. AoifeUKSB says:

    Kayuk- are you at Bristol Uni? I almost ended up there

  69. James says:

    NYGent, follow your instincts on this. Cut your losses, stop pouring good energy after bad, even if it’s a bit painful. Take it from me, you will probably feel stronger after you let her go. And if she does change her mind, would you really want her? She’s then made it clear it’s ONLY about the money. Total turn-off for the essential fantasy you seem to be seeking. Been there too.

    NYC SB, so true about the self-proclaimed alpha male. If someone says that, I read “loser.” I think people now sometimes say alpha male when they used to say A-type personality. They’re not the same thing.

  70. NYC SB says:

    NYGent – fear those that lie without anyone knowing 😉

    I doubt she would fake it… as you have said she is relatively young and I am assuming you are her first SD… clearly a moot point in this case… however generally speaking this does happen…

  71. Kayuk says:

    Happy Lurker – I love Clifton… There is also a barge down in the centre called the apple that sells loads of ciders… and hot apple ciders in the winter out on the water – AMAZING (if a little strong and lethal)

    Where are you? London?

  72. Anna Molly says:

    I wouldn’t and couldn’t fake it…for any reason. It seems as though she has been the only one to get anything out of this relationship. You deserve better :)

  73. CrèmeBruléeNY says:

    NYGent – If I understood correctly, you’re asking if any SBs would attempt to extend the platonic/feeling-it-out stage of an arrangement for cashflow? Or do you mean faking attraction and interest in intimacy later on?

  74. NYGent says:

    NYC SB: of course in my situation she is not really even doing a good job of faking it, so it’s sort of a moot point. she is making my decision easy, a better actress would be more difficult to deal with.

  75. Taz says:

    Sorry to hear that Ny Gent :( But obviously for the best in this case..I don’t think it would be worth it at all – but that is me. I would never want to be in that situation not knowing…or even worse – knowing deep down as time went on…if I were you of course. As an SB – I would have to say I could not be with a SD in an arrangement and not have it be mutually beneficial…spoiling goes both ways 😉

    Congrats Anna Molly – sounds like a keeper :)

  76. Anna Molly says:

    I love Indian food…its my fave! The strongest beer I ever had was La Fin Du Monde up in Montreal, and since I don’t drink that much…..well you can imagine….lol.

  77. NYC SB says:

    NYGent – while it may not be worth it in the long run… depending on the financial situation a person might be in they might fake it for a while until they get themselves out of the bind…

  78. NYGent says:

    i think anna and gurl make very valid points, and yes, Lisa, I think that’s a possibility. I have to ask, though, how many of you SBs would continue seeing a SD, even for $$, who you had zero physical feelings for or were otherwise psychologically unable for whatever reason from engaging in any intimacy? I mean, I guess you could keep trying to fake it, but would it be worth it?

  79. Happy Lurker says:

    Hello Kayuk,
    Great memories I have of Bristol.
    Staid in that hotel near the Bristol suspension bridge.
    As far as I remember it was the Clifton Hotel.
    Wonderful sight into the gorge from the rooftop waranda.
    And that cider pub the Victorian Tab, where I left with shaking knees, as I had not believed that some glasses of cider would knock you out.
    That was a difficult walk back through the park to the university buildings.
    Also not far from the hotel was a wonderful Indian restaurant.
    It was the best dinner with Indian cuisine I ever had and I must confess that once I went back to Bristol, just because of the great Indian food.
    And the famous ship that they had restored, the first ship that used steam power and no sails. Forgot the name of it.
    Great place Bristol is and I suddenly remember I made my first brass rubbings there at the church. Still got it here in the hall.
    Have a glass of medium cider on me, will you.

  80. lisa says:

    Maybe she’s “just not into him”

  81. gurlnextdoor says:

    I agree with Anna Molly. If she suddenly decides she wants to be intimate after you tell her it’s over, to me that would be a big red flag. It would seem to me that her actions weren’t genuine and she was just going through the motions to keep her allowance money, not because she genuinely wanted to be with you.

  82. Anna Molly says:

    NYC SB is right. That could happen, but I would always be wondering what her true motives were. Did she want to be with me because she was attracted to me and wanted me or is there something else that made her do it…like the fear of loosing her allowance money or something of that nature. If it were me and she made an advance after I told her that it wasn’t going to work out, I don’t think I could do it.

    I wouldn’t want to be with anybody that I didn’t have chemistry with or who didn’t find me attractive.

  83. NYGent says:

    NYC SB: thanks, I will know soon enough . . .

    thanks to others for their kind words too and good luck to you all!

  84. NYC SB says:

    NYGent -there is a chance that she might leap and become intimate for you in fear of losing you when you let her know how you feel …. so maybe all hope is not lost

  85. NYGent says:

    thanks NYC SB, maybe I’ll take you up on that at some point . . .

  86. gurlnextdoor says:

    NYGent sorry to hear that. Sounds like your arrangement would’ve never come to the “mutually beneficial” part so it probably is best to end things now.

  87. Anna Molly says:

    Hey NYGent….sorry to hear about that. I’m sure something good will happen for you, you seem like a really great guy :)

  88. NYGent, hopefully things will work out, But it does sound like she is hung up on the age difference.

    I will keep my fingers crossed for you. But I think you may have assessed it correctly.

  89. Anna Molly says:

    That would be proof enough for me…sorry Ms Behavin. I hate trollers! I think I know which site you talking about. I did meet my current pot from there if it is the same place and he is a nice guy and soooooo handsome! So far things are going pretty good considering we haven’t met yet. We did the IM thing for 4 hours the other day and talked on the phone for one and have talked almost every day since then. He isn’t pushy or a dirty talker, although I wouldn’t mind it with him. He doesn’t troll like 98% of the guys on there, believe me I check.

    He tells me how beautiful I am and how much he wants to see me….sigh. He has been asking me where I like to shop and where he should send gifts…this could be leading to something good…I hope.

  90. NYC SB says:

    NYGent – awww i feel terrible… let me know when you are ready to start looking… if you are open to this i can make introductions to some SBs

  91. gurlnextdoor says:

    Ahh just finished giving myself an in home facial and soaking in a nice, hot bath for the morning. I love being off work, lol. :)

    How’s everyone doing today?

  92. NYGent says:

    Well folks another date with the sweet young SB and we seem to be going backwards in terms of chemistry/intimacy. I previously got us broadway tix for next week and promised to take her which I’ll live up to (front row seats, after all) but afterwards I think I will tell her no hard feelings but it’s obviously not working out, nothing “mutual” to the arrangement. I’m afraid she will start crying, I hope not . . .

    hope others having better luck lately . . .

  93. Ms Behavin~389197 says:

    He texted me ta 10:15 to say he was going to be late.Emailed him at 11:00 he is still online at the other site and never replied to my last post.Soooo gona go out on a limb and say flake.

    ontariosugar~ nials are now fab

    Kayuk~yes I have two suger dates lined up. One I’ve been seeing one is new. The new one sent confermation on MY hotel room.Told him I was one for going slow.

  94. Anna Molly says:

    I thing photogirl and NYC SB are right. Don’t write him off yet, give him a chance to at least prove for a fact he is a flake. Right now, being a flake is only speculation. Who knows he could end up being the kind of SD you’re looking for.

  95. Kayuk says:

    Ms Behavin – What a shame he hasn’t turned up. I was FINALLY speaking to one great pot, but the last few days it seems all quiet on the western front – Just when you think you are getting somewhere. Any others lined up?

  96. ontariosugar says:

    how are the nails?

  97. photogirl says:

    Ms Behavin~389197 says:
    October 20, 2009 at 1:45 pm
    Gonna write him off. Think he is a flake oh well.

    I agree with NYC SB here…atleast he made the effort to contact you to let you know he was running late. Have you checked back in with him yet to see if he is still waiting for the charter?

  98. Ms Behavin~389197 says:

    Gonna write him off. Think he is a flake oh well.

  99. Anna Molly says:

    Not fair Ms Behavin talking about the beach and all that..lol. Well where I’m from we have, quaint B&B’s, beautiful autumn leaves, and a cozy fire to cuddle in front of…..LOL.

    Ms Behavin, let us know if the crazy pot shows up.

  100. ontariosugar says:

    Im sitting in class listening to the most boring lecture.. discussing whether or not tomorrow can exist… 2 hours of this.. ahhh!! some sugar daddy save me.

  101. Kayuk says:

    Aoife.
    Im in Bristol.
    And the weathr is grim.
    Always nicer in London as far as the tem goes, so unfair

    Hi Ms Behavin and Anna Molly x

  102. Ms Behavin~389197 says:

    LOL Me too!!Just in case anyone wants to come to the beach!! The weather here is beatuiful.:)

  103. Anna Molly says:

    We have a small airport where I live that caters to charters and private jets, just in case any of you SD’s need to know :)…lol.

  104. Ms Behavin~389197 says:

    Thaks NYC SB. I will give him a chance ,but gut feeling is he’s a flake. He is younger than I would normal talk with. I tend to prefer older men,(he’s 44).

  105. NYC SB says:

    MS Behavin – depending on which charter service he uses… marquis is usually never late but sometimes charter services need to get airport clearance and thus the wait… give him a chance to make it to town and then judge for yourself

  106. AoifeUKSB says:

    Happy Lurker – love prawn cocktail – put mine in half an avocado. In fact I’m hungry for one now.

    Kayuk – are you in the UK? where?
    I’m in london and i went out earlier today expecting it be cold so i put on a ski jacket. I nearly passed out! it was so warm

  107. Ms Behavin~389197 says:

    Decided to do my nails, if he makes it to town he can just wait for me to get ready.LOL

  108. Anna Molly says:

    Honesty is always the best policy. I’m very honest in my profile and expect a pot SD to be upfront with me as well…..wish me luck on that..lol

  109. Ms Behavin~389197 says:

    Yes think I might file him under flake. lol Next… Glad I have sugar dates for Wed. and Thurs. or eles my feelings would be hurt.

  110. Woot, from a previous blog, and also remembering that Flo Rida posted about google voice. Checking it out. looks like I can use it on my t-mobile service. 😀

    So if things attempt to turn badly at least I won’t have to worry about my safety being compromised.

    Ok on to catching up on the ancient blogs. One can never know too much. 😀

  111. NC Gent says:

    I agree Ms Behavin — eventually it is going to come to be known. I am guessing a higher proportion of men are dishonest about that then women here, but I am still surprised at the number of women who aren’t upfront about that — I think some women may be looking for an escape in their marriage and don’t have the resources/ability to hide it as well as SDs.

    Anna Molly — I am glad you are upfront about your marital status — saves a lot of headaches on both sides :)

  112. Anna Molly says:

    Hi Kayuk!

  113. Anna Molly says:

    I’m not sure Ms Behavin. I have never had a pot mention charters to me. I could see where that migh be a possibility especially if the plane was catering to another client. Now if he had a private jet then I would be wondering what was going on.

  114. Ms Behavin~389197 says:

    Hi Kayuk ~ Welcome!!

  115. Ms Behavin~389197 says:

    OK had a pot sugar date with a gent from out of town ( other SD site).He tells me he’s stuck waiting for his charter??? Does this happen. I have never had dealings with charter,but wouldnt think they ran late?? Ladies Gentelmen any thoughts??

  116. Anna Molly says:

    Great point there NC Gent. I’m married as I’m sure most of you know, and thank goodness I don’t have to run around and try to hide what I’m doing (from my hubby anyway).

    I like to travel too, but I don’t say that in my profile simply becuase it would be difficult for me to go away for a week at a time. A nice romantic weekend once a month is something that I can do though.

  117. Ms Behavin~389197 says:

    NC Gent~ sad that people cant tell the truth.In this type of arrangement you would think it would be easy to be up front with someone,but sadly thats not so.I don’t understand why someone would lie about being married,its not like your not going to be found out. lol

  118. Kayuk says:

    Hey everyone!
    Regular reader of the blog, First post though, We don’t seem to get as much action on the UK side of things

    AoifeUK_ I read that profile, couldn’t believe it, made me feel kind of sick..

    Would be nie to hear from any of you, its a grim rainy evening here x

  119. NC Gent says:

    Hi Anna — I guess both men and women are guilty of “fibbing” about their marital status. I reveal mine, but I have found a high percentage of “single” SBs in their 30s to be married. I think I attract married SBs because of my own marital status.

    Regarding “love to travel” — I see the same thing. I think some of the issue is they may love to do it but don’t have the flexibility to do so. The other thing is that it may just be a gentle way of saying they aren’t interested :)

  120. Ms Behavin~389197 says:

    I myself like the long distance.I love going to other places … keeps things fresh .Phones can be VERY entertaining now.(blushes) But you do what you can to keep things hot!

  121. That is my thinking as well. I do know that he is in the construction industry here, but that is posted in his profile. Even though he says that it is a tight knit group. I know from personal experience it isn’t, unless you are working on the field. Even then the odds of knowing everyone are slim.

    From living in vegas for several years, and having spent time in the not so nice places here, I am naturally paranoid.

    And in retrospect I am suspicious over the most innocuous things. SO I do my best to give others the benefit of the doubt. But sadly my hunches almost always pan out. Which keeps me being paranoid of peoples motives.

    Though I agree with you completely Realistic. As right now he has the advantage over me. He has a brief history and pictures. And I have nothing but what he has written in his profile.

    I will bide my time and see if he is or is not what he seems.

  122. Anna Molly says:

    I would prefer a LDR. I know too many people around here…lol. Traveling would be a little difficult for me though (at least right off the bat), so I woud need a SD that loved to travel…and mean it, or a SD who comes up this way on business. I don’t know, I guess if two people are really into each other anything could be worked out :)

    Why do most profiles say “I love to travel”, but they never want to come and see you?

  123. Anna Molly says:

    I’m glad I don’t have to think of excuses. We wouldn’t have that problem NC Gent :)

  124. RealisticSD says:

    Lady_8, I am not sure why he wouldn’t share a picture at this point because the chances of you specifically knowing him are so slim.

  125. gurlnextdoor says:

    Morning all :)

    NYC SB no his name wasn’t Anthony although I wouldn’t put it past him to change his name on here considering he didn’t even use his real name on the site. He was from Boston and his name was Matt on his profile. Everything was good till I got back and he started acting extremely paranoid and then invited me to do that, ugh! I’m no prostitute so I said I’d pass.

    As to the long distance arrangements I love them! I love traveling all over the place and going somewhere new and exciting. I’m also one of those weird people who loves being on an airplane so when I get off I feel this rush of energy and usually not tired for some reason. The benefits of having a long distance arrangement is that you can go wherever you want with your SD or SB and not have to worry so much about being seen for those who need lots of discretion. Also by sending texts, emails, and phone calls to each other you can build anticipation and keep the excitement going. The only downside I’d say is that you have to keep in mind that the price for airline tickets likes to fluctuate and so travel can be cheap sometimes and not so cheap at other times which may or may not have a bearing on how much you plan to give your SB. Also scheduling needs to be done. Not necessarily for when you two are together as some people like to “wing it” as they say, but for how many days you’ll see each other and when.

  126. Good Morning everyone.

    Sheesh I can be long winded. Pardon the post hog

  127. NC Gent says:

    OK — I need to vent a little. I have been communicating with a potential SB for about 6 weeks. We are finally going to get together, and she becomes a poofbaby…. My “mardar” tells me she is married and now she doesn’t know what to tell hubby to get out for the evening. As NYC SB says, “NEXT!”

  128. NC Gent says:

    Hi NYC SB — I love sexy emails and sext messages — those are awesome!

    Flo Rida — that is great that you were into each other that much ^5

    I agree ECF — I tried it a few times with my first SB just made me wish I was there more — which was not the effect I was seeking lol

    Good morning OntarioSugar!

  129. RealisticSD says:
    October 19, 2009 at 8:34 pm
    …criminal background check, so I told NewTXSB she won’t have to worry about me being a criminal if I get approved.

    After all of the time you guys have spent together I am sure that is far from her mind, but is something she can tease you later. 😉

    ~~~
    And on the Current blog topic, not fond of sports except horses and cars. Though I am a gamer, I try not to play alot as they get you sucked in. Myth and lore horror I love, but the gore and psy horror, not liking too much.

    ~~
    Yeah seems like 10k is the magic no-no lump sum transaction number. I thought it was only bank transaction. Thanks RealisticSD That helped clarify.

    ~~
    Thanks VC I will keep that email just in case.

    ~~~
    The Lone Gunman says:
    October 20, 2009 at 7:02 am
    To those of you who have successfully done this kind of arrangement, how did you keep it exciting and ongoing?

    Well TLG I have never done Sugar anything yet. But I have done long distance relationships. And the key to success it not to go without seeing them for longer then 2-3 weeks. 3 weeks being the max. As it goes from antisapation to seeing each other to just being O you. and wanting something more .

    IMHO I think that long distance relationships fail because of the distance of not seeing each other. So if the two of you don’t mind alternating on who flys to see the other and make it every or every other week. Then it should work out fine.

    Though I think that flying would be easier then driving for several hours. Well unless you find a speed demon to pace to keep the cops at bay that is. 😉

    ~~~
    I am going to check out the previous blogs. I am talking to a maybe, but he has ignored my picture request, and then asked me for more personal information, and again ignored my request for more information. Then gave me his works cell number to call him at work.

    So a few red flags are going off. But willing to give him the benefit of the doubt as he could just be overly paranoid as he is concerned about discretion due to the fact that he is married.

    So I just want to make sure that all is good, I haven’t had a disaster from meeting anyone online before, just when I met someone irl that turned ‘bad’

  130. ontariosugar says:

    good morning everyone!!!

  131. EastCoastFilly says:

    Yeah I am not one for phone sex either, doesn’t really make a good sub for the real thing for me but I did oblige with one SD who loved it and apparently turns out I was really good at it. He was really into it, LOL and was good at it but I really do need the body to go along with the voice 😉

  132. Flo Rida says:

    NC Gent – he lived in Amsterdam where there’s highly visible sex 24-7 plus I was into him & him likewise. i’ve never had phone sex with anyone else as this was only LDR I had.

    Mornin all!

  133. NYC SB says:

    NCGent – hmmmm how about sexy emails?

  134. NC Gent says:

    Flo Rida lmao @ phone sex and high phone bills — I am not judging but I’ve never been one for phone sex but I guess that can help – I only like the real thing!

  135. NYC SB says:

    dont be silly 😉

  136. CrèmeBruléeNY says:

    Morning your highness 😉

  137. NYC SB says:

    Good morning girlie!

  138. Flo Rida says:

    TLG – phone sex and high phone bills & frequent flights. Sorry everyone! In my gap year between high school & college – I dated a guy in Amsterdam – I lived in London but this was pre 9-11 when flying to Schipol was like catching a bus. Not sure how a sugar relationship differs from IRL.

  139. CrèmeBruléeNY says:

    TLG – Long distance sugar rapports can be delightful. The heightened anticipation, sense of adventure, and excitement.. I think it also shows an increased level of commitment. Long ago I had an SD based in NYC who later returned to his homeland (UK) and we succeeded in keeping the relationship going. Flying there being no different than going to CA. I don’t think it’s for everyone but when it does work, it’s equally rewarding.

  140. Happy Lurker says:

    Ho Aoife,
    Must be my lucky Tuesday as well.
    Just received a message from a pot SB.
    Tells me she is from Africa and wants to discuss the inheritance which is waiting for her as her father will soon rise to the eternal SB hunting fields. Would I be interested ?!
    Hilarious indeed.
    Life is like a comic strip to me.
    Just got back from England. We should have met and celebrated with a bottle of bubbly now that we will both come into an inheritance shortly.
    Any preference ? Can you make a tasty prawn cocktail ?

  141. NYC SB says:

    NewTXSB – there are bad apples out there… again safety first… i still get the chills when i think about the domdaddy story someone posted about…

  142. NewTXSB says:

    It’s scary to read the SD horror stories above….I guess I’ve been lucky that I haven’t come across any similar situations (at least in my very limited experience).

  143. NewTXSB says:

    D-Dubs:
    “I reached out about getting together again while here on business”

    Out of curiosity, did you ever discuss an arrangement with her? You wrote you two got together for dinner….and then the next day she helped you run errands. If she had said “yes” so your attempt above, then this would’ve been the 3rd time you were meeting her IRL. If you hadn’t already done so, when were you planning on discussing an “arrangement” with her?

  144. NYC SB says:

    happy gal – this man has pursued me for months… his first email was something like “we do to dinner and shopping and then you for dessert” he asked me to go to him to meet… I declined to which he got very belligerent over email … im sorry about your friend

    VillaCypris *396153* says: a self-proclaimed alpha male, who is rich as shit, gets whatever he wants, and you either adhere to his demands or he’ll dump you like a contagious disease. no thank you.

    No true alpha male is self proclaimed… only beta males with wanna be alpha tendencies

    gurlnextdoor says: Well to add, I had this one pot SD who things went great with on the first visit. Then sometime after that he offered to pimp me out to some guy out in NYC and told me I could make $6,000 easily by fucking like 6 guys in one night. NO THANK YOU! Ironically enough he was the same guy who kept emphasizing to me that I needed to stay “pure and good”, lol.

    I see you have spoken to my buddy Anthony… I see the economy has effected him as he offered me 20k to fuck his 6 buddies ::Shakes head::

    Good morning sugar fam! How is everyone

    VC – got some news to share about our buddy

  145. SuthernExec says:

    TLG, I’m like NC Gent, distance works best for me for many of the same reasons. Whether it works or not is usually a function of whether both are ok with the less frequent meetings (less frequent than a local SB/SD). Pics, cards, email and calls are ways of keeping the excitement there. And depending on either’s situation, it could be a vast improvement over the current situation so, it’s not really that difficult. The difficulty is the scheduling and planning of meeting times, but I don’t find that a real issue. I would say any failure of a distant SB/SD relationship would be due to other issues, although those issues might be exacerbated by the distance, but it usually isn’t because of the distance itself.

  146. Taz says:

    Great question TLG :) I am eager to hear what the others say too!

    EastCoastFilly – I happen to agree with you wholeheartedly – I see the anticipation in it…and having a bit freedom from being in my small town :)

    AoifeUKSB – I agree I recently saw this profile as well…those type of people – male and female should not be on this site at all.

  147. Anna Molly says:

    Good Morning :)

  148. EastCoastFilly says:

    I’m with NC Gent on this one. As convenient as it would be to be close to someone I would rather fly to meet or have someone fly to meet me in a city near me but not my own smaller town. This way we can run all over town freely and not worry about who sees up having fun, flirting, etc in public. Plus is adds to the excitement and the fantasy.

    Downside, a lot of travel is tiring but if your schedule allows like mine you work it out.

  149. RealisticSD says:

    Flo Rida, the $10K reporting requirement is for any cash transaction, including money orders or other cash equivalents. Bank transfers are not specifically reported in any amount because they leave a paper/electronic trail for our nosy govt to track. What I am not totally sure about is whether the reporting requirement applies to individuals or just businesses.

    As for psycho SDs, if they commit a crime, they should be reported, but he problem is that many SBs don’t want to be caught in the middle of a public trial.

    D-Dubs, the best way I have concluded is for the SD, after first meeting and seeing that there is chemistry, to be totally up-front about the arrangement he has in mind—what he will provide and what he expects in return and for what duration of time (if the relationship is not open-ended). If he doesn’t trust her to keep up her end of the bargain, the best thing is to move on, but if he does trust her or is willing to give her the benefit of the doubt, he should give her the stated allowance (or a part thereof that they have agreed upon) at that point and then see if the SB will make the arrangement mutually beneficial. If she doesn’t, the SD will end up feeling a little bit used, but he’ll find out rather quickly that she was not really after a mutually beneficial relationship. Although the money is lost, it saves a lot of time, pain and heartache in the long run.

  150. photogirl says:

    TLG – Too much distance can be difficult. Although my only experience so far has been opposite sides of the state, I would assume if there are direct flights it would certainly make things much easier. Also depends on how often… and the duration of the trips. I am sure that if the chemistry is there, it can certainly work.

    I’m interested to hear other experiences as I’ve wondered about this myself. Not many SD’s in my area interested in local SB’s.

  151. NC Gent says:

    Hi TLG — I have always had long distance sugar relationships. I am too recognizable in the local business community to have someone local (I like to do social things with my SB). The downside it is more expensive and difficult to see each other — requires a lot more planning. The upside is that we were always very excited to see each other. We kept it exciting my sending text messages, emails, phone pics, etc. My SBs have sometimes traveled with me on business, which I have found to be very enjoyable. I think a lot more people would like the distance arrangement if they would just give it a try. Just my two cents from having done it successfully.

    AoifeUKSB — that is very offensive and I doubt the profile is real. Stephan, if you are reading this, I think SA is a great web site, but I think the profile screeners need to step it up a bit — many times I have seen blatant hooker profiles too.

  152. AoifeUKSB says:

    I just noticed a SD entry (UK) that carries the headline: “Hey, take a look golddiggers”. In his profile he talks about how he has a few medical issues and isn’t likely to live past 40 and his pot SB can look forward to an early inheritance.

    Am i alone in finding this deeply offensive? and why on earth was it allowed. Is it really a case here of anything goes? I really think the SA team need to start applying some quality control – if you are the company you keep they are really making some of us look very bad indeed.

  153. suggar baby male says:

    well i actually have three differnt suggar daddys bidding right now

    i decided to go out with the three to see what one i had
    the best connection with

    how i got the i do not know

  154. The Lone Gunman says:

    Good Morning! It’s Terrific Tuesday!

    A question concerning long distance Sugar.

    For the first time, I am considering attempting a long-distance (meaning that we would have to fly to see one another) arrangement with an SB who also appears willing to explore this possibility.

    To those of you who have successfully done this kind of arrangement, how did you keep it exciting and ongoing?

    Those who have tried and failed, what did you attribute that failure to?

    TLG

  155. AtlNicole says:

    RedMaru – We can go out SD hunting together. Or just window shop at Phipps, my other hobby.

  156. VillaCypris *396153* says:

    I’m going to sleep. Sorry to put a “damper” on the blog, but I think it’s so important to remember that there is a DARK SIDE to any foray into this arena…. so keep your wits about you, your self respect intact, and never do anything to knowingly compromise your comfort level, health and safety. No amount of “allowance” can recover that which is intangible and integral to your existence. ciao.

  157. ontariosugar says:

    good night everyone headed to bed.. im still not tired enough to fall asleep. hate when that happens.

  158. VillaCypris *396153* says:

    Thanks Taz. You’re welcome. I saw way too much of that while writing my thesis on the sex trafficking of women, particularly from the former soviet republics. Slave auctions, servitude, severe abuse… the women were no longer human beings, but rather just holes to f**K and things to abuse. I still find it sickening years later.

    Gn GND. Sweet dreams!

  159. ontariosugar says:

    hey Taz,
    VC has my email now if you want it too.

  160. SugaCaneBby says:

    I agree with Flo Rida. Give Stephan numbers so they can be shut down and not have a chance to hurt anyone else. :s Gosh, VC! Stories like that freak me out! I’m no newbie to meeting men offline, but I always worry about the day I’ll run into a man like that. *shudders*

    I ended up passing out earlier so now I’m wide awake even though that is not what I planned at all.

    And I’m with you on lurking Kit-Kat (was wondering where you went…). It is necessary at times. Might go into lurk mode myself for a spell.

  161. Taz says:

    VC – girl you are on it lol…ty you for all the great advice. It is always good to be aware :)

    I am so sorry and my heart goes out to anyone that has had to endure anything of that nature. No one deserves to be violated that way.

    Nite GND – HA! I looove tetris

  162. D-Dubs says:

    Hey everybody…

    Hadn’t been able to jump on since posting late last night.

    Thanks for all the input.

    Obviously, I have decided to move on. I reached out about getting together again while here on business…but, she wants bills paid and shopping while saying she’s not comfortable with the intimacy yet…and, I made it clear that I feel intimacy and sex are two different things.

    If she said that she liked me, and was willing to share some “play” time as we got to know each other the rest of my business trip…well, then I would have been willing to follow through on some things. Since it was indicated that it wasn’t even an option, I decided I made the right choice orginally.

    Thanks again for the responses.

  163. gurlnextdoor says:

    VC that’s a good idea.

    Well I’m off to play tetris for about an hour on facebook and then getting some sleep. Night sugars.

  164. VillaCypris *396153* says:

    stephan’s email is stephan @ infostreamgroup dot com

  165. VillaCypris *396153* says:

    If anyone has had horrific experiences with people on this site, and by that I mean experiences which have been detrimental to your physical/mental/emotional health and well-being… in which you have physical or emotional or financial harm, I would urge you to email Stephan with the profile number of the offender so he can shut down that profile.

    We are on here to connect with other wonderful, like-minded persons, not persons who are predatory and seeking to take advantage of others in a dangerous and/or harmful way.

  166. VillaCypris *396153* says:

    Im’ still here. My comment is being mod er ated.

  167. ontariosugar says:

    hey i sent you a email VC

  168. VillaCypris *396153* says:

    Hi Flo
    I’m still here.

    VillaCypris *396153* says:
    Your comment is awaiting moderation.
    October 20, 2009 at 1:22 am

    Stephan Smith runs this great blog – email him –

    If anyone has had horrific experiences with people on this site, and by that I mean experiences which have been detrimental to your physical/mental/emotional health and well-being… in which you have physical or emotional or financial harm, I would urge you to email Stephan with the profile number of the offender so he can shut down that profile.

    We are on here to connect with other wonderful, like-minded persons, not persons who are predatory and seeking to take advantage of others in a dangerous and/or harmful way.

  169. VillaCypris *396153* says:

    If anyone has had horrific experiences with people on this site, and by that I mean experiences which have been detrimental to your physical/mental/emotional health and well-being… in which you have physical or emotional or financial harm, I would urge you to email Stephan with the profile number of the offender so he can shut down that profile.

    We are on here to connect with other wonderful, like-minded persons, not persons who are predatory and seeking to take advantage of others in a dangerous and/or harmful way.

  170. Flo Rida says:

    Happy Gal – OMG did this happen tonight? Persuade your friend to go to the police. Men like him need to be stopped. Rape or sexual battery or assault charges could apply. Having said that I fully understand if she chooses a different path. I’m so sorry for you and for her. These stories make me realize that after my arrangement finishes I’ll never do this again. if you want advice or help please email me at atllgw@ g place.

    Realistic – I though $10k transactions were for bank transfers – you learn something new every day

    Sweety – I could give you his number but he has a 5 year live in GF.

    K-K and VC – sorry I missed you.

  171. VillaCypris *396153* says:

    Yea, exactly.

  172. gurlnextdoor says:

    Hey everyone, haha what’s up with all the sugar horror stories???

    Well to add, I had this one pot SD who things went great with on the first visit. Then sometime after that he offered to pimp me out to some guy out in NYC and told me I could make $6,000 easily by fucking like 6 guys in one night. NO THANK YOU! Ironically enough he was the same guy who kept emphasizing to me that I needed to stay “pure and good”, lol.

  173. ontariosugar says:

    y place.. sorry i guess im dumb.. is that yahoo?

  174. Taz says:

    Thanks VC and you have mail.

  175. VillaCypris *396153* says:

    Taz and ontariosugar – my email is villacypris at y place. Would be happy to give you a heads up on him.

  176. Anna Molly says:

    When I find his profile, I’ll let you know the name.

  177. Anna Molly says:

    I had a guy from here offer me 3000 to give hime a tongue bath…he had a time limit for the bath too. He also wanted to video tape me and tie me up. I don’t remember the name of the guy, but he was asian. I remember the accent. Seemed like the kind of guy who would kill you then eat one of your kidneys or something. Stay far, far away!

  178. Taz says:

    Southwestern ontario…

  179. ontariosugar says:

    hey Taz. are you in Ontario? what part.

  180. VillaCypris *396153* says:

    $20,000 was the stated allowance on the profile, but talked to him on the phone, he informed me that he was NOT interested in paying someone an “allowance” – rather he was looking for a wife, someone to stay home, have his children. and if she didn’t have sex with him at least 5x per day he would cheat on her. at least he was upfront about that.

    a self-proclaimed alpha male, who is rich as shit, gets whatever he wants, and you either adhere to his demands or he’ll dump you like a contagious disease. no thank you.

    no amount of money is worth the loss of one’s self-respect.

  181. Taz says:

    I am up for any warnings you have to offer ontariosugar! Safety is everyone’s priority…

    Maybe Stephan could give you my email address?

  182. ontariosugar says:

    oh wait.. did he offer you like 20 thousand. dollars?. I did talk to him once. I think he was from some other province but wanted to fly into toronto to see me… Maybe there is more than one keep you naked all weekend man. lol

  183. VillaCypris *396153* says:

    nite kit kat!!

  184. ok yall jimmie kimmel is off. thats my cue!!
    Lurk with yall tomorrow!!

  185. Ont sugar Ill let VC tell you about him it was funny her version!! lol

  186. VillaCypris *396153* says:

    Uhhhhhhhhhhhhmmm… yeah… he wants to fly you to toronto and keep you naked in the hotel room all weekend… without divulging his name, company, anything… NO THANKS. Plenty of eliot spitzer girls to indulge him.

  187. ontariosugar says:

    naked all weekend guy lol I dont think I have come across him. lol

  188. ontariosugar says:

    oh believe me.. I now know what I am getting myself into when I meet potential sd’s I try my best to remain unjaded altho some of the men wow.. what are they thinking… there are other great ones that make up for the bad apples.

  189. VC is that naked all weeend guy?? yeah hes had too much syurp for sure

  190. VillaCypris *396153* says:

    ontariosugar – i encountered one of “toronto’s finest”…. luckily he’s not a paying member at this time. i’d caution you away from him. x

  191. ontariosugar says:

    hey everyone.. I was on this site soo long ago and decided to give it another try.. Im from Canada and as I have noticed scanning the blog im not the only one. I just met a new guy the other day.. I think he is going to turn out to be a long term one. He however is the first man to really refuse to give me personal information. Usually I have no problem with this. Men give me their names, their companies ect. After a long argument I decided to just give in, but I told him because of that we will take things slow. He seemed perfectly ok with that.

    Girls in Ontario we should totally talk.. I have met many many men from toronto area. Maybe I could warn you of a few that are coming your way. lol. who knows. I wonder how many of the same ones we have met. Let me know if you are interested :) I dont tell anyone about my sugar life so it would be neat to have someone in the area I could tell.

  192. that guys in jail now killed an escort or something real deviant

  193. VillaCypris *396153* says:

    Kit-Kat*367987* says:
    October 20, 2009 at 12:26 am

    maybe it was that markoff guy?
    ——————
    who is this guy?

  194. I was to new to even ask but sounded like ruff vag sex but I dont know for sure. I hope she did call the police, maybe it was that markoff guy?

  195. VC he needs a special surgery!! but hell get his i am sure…..be funny one of the trannys get to him!!

    Atl hey lady how are ya!!
    I dissageee I want a portion of the money up front so I can kinda get my wardrobe right , because I know after all If I had been talking to a man if I would be intimate long time before I met him!
    I have a pot date this week this week, you ask when I met this guy way back when i first got on this site. plenty of time to check him out and him to get loose with his story*if hes lying at all*
    just have to be patient!

  196. VillaCypris *396153* says:

    This goes above and beyond men who are trying to get “laid real quick”. Most of those have no intention of physically harming the woman in question. They just want to fuck and go off on their merry way. But when someone crosses the line and makes someone bleed, that is a criminal act – assault. Prosecutable. I hope she went to the police.

  197. AtlNicole says:

    Stories like this are why SBs end up demanding to see money up front. It makes us look like pros or scam artists, but it has such a huge effect on weeding out the fakes. If a man is on here trying to get laid real quick, chances are that he is not gonna pay a months allowance to a woman that he has no intention of ever seeing again.

  198. VillaCypris *396153* says:

    I’ve never seen this posted before. Is this the second time this person has abused a woman from this site????????

    “we should be holding on to our GOOD INSTINCTS not shedding them because some Turkey says hes got some money!”

    well said. these fucking men who have “money” and think that they can use that an an excuse or a rationalisation to treat women like shit is INEXCUSABLE. people need to remember not to compromise themselves for someone who has “money”. self-respect is priceless, and should never be compromised.

  199. i seen this posted already! back in sept/aug, and yes i do! yikes but again! we should be holding on to our GOOD INSTINCTS not shedding them because some Turkey says hes got some money!
    hey how come she didnt get her allowance up front?
    why you you leave your friend before you know he is legit, yall yhink i woul let lannie ,or photo go off with somebody before I knew how to get a hold of them in case of turbulance??
    NO not a chance in HELLLLLL !
    My point is, You as a SB need to keep your saftey First!
    then you also need to to you due dilliangce as far as Character,saftey, and Mental stability….. also sadly enough you have to Know who Else may be around too
    Need to have a back up saftey plan!

  200. VillaCypris *396153* says:

    “story behind my nickname (JB), which is short for Jim Bob, has a very warm history that bleeds the essenc. . . . .”

    how IRONIC…… “bleeds” the essenc… {sic}

    people like him make me sick.

  201. VillaCypris *396153* says:

    hey K-K

    why? i’m sure you have something to say about a man who would do that to a woman!!!!

  202. now I remember why I lurk!!

  203. VillaCypris *396153* says:

    *your friend

  204. VillaCypris *396153* says:

    happy gal says:
    October 19, 2009 at 11:40 pm

    My friend went out with JB from Clarke, NJ. He promised her an allowance of thousands of dollars a month, but he had no intention of following through. He just used her for sex and it was very bad sex. He made her bleed. So be careful out there! Freaks are waiting for u!

    ———

    I am sorry for you friend. that is FUCKED UP. :(

  205. Liz_2 says:

    Carine Gilson. . . WOW!! 😀

    but, I find the Koni Art lingerie reminiscent of crochet lol. Sorry, NC Gent!

  206. happy gal says:

    My friend went out with JB from Clarke, NJ. He promised her an allowance of thousands of dollars a month, but he had no intention of following through. He just used her for sex and it was very bad sex. He made her bleed. So be careful out there! Freaks are waiting for u!

  207. SouthernGent2 says:

    I’ll be out of pocket for a few days. My next couple of nights could be really interesting. I’ll check back here on Thursday night.

  208. RealisticSD says:

    Flo Rida, I wasn’t offering cash but rather a check. Totally legit. As for why the car dealer wouldn’t take the $40K in cash, it’s because the guy likely did not want them to file a Form 8300 to report a cash transaction over $10K and they refused.

    There was a car dealer around where I lived where 3 brothers who owned the dealership would each receive $9,900 in cash for a car and not report it and all 3 went to jail. So as a word of advice, keep cash payments under 10K.

  209. Anna Molly says:

    I know the Sagamore just went back to being open seasonally and I’m not sure about the Enloe Inn. There is also a nice little place in Warrensburg called the Griffin House Bed and Breakfast. Great food and very quaint.

  210. NYGent says:

    yes, lake george area is beautiful. Love the Sagamore and Enloe Inn is pretty nice (if still open?)

  211. gurlnextdoor says:

    Wow, just caught up on most of the blog, lol.

    As for scary movies, it’s hard to scare me and I have a somewhat weird sense of humour so I find some scary movies to be hilarious (ex. Drag me to Hell which should’ve been a comedy and not a horror film). OCSugar I want to see Paranormal Activity since I heard it was awesome! Also as far as gaming goes I’m a PC girl. I hate controllers on gaming systems, my hand eye coordination seems to stop working on those. But I love the Sims, well I did till the Sims3 where I got slightly disappointed. Maybe if they come out with an expansion that is somewhat like the Nightlife one from the Sims2 I’ll regain interest. Now back to sugar related topics….

    I have a date confirmed for Thursday morning before work! :) A cute coffee date in the next city over. SD tells me I’ll love it since it’s got an eclectic style. I’m just hoping they sell chocolate covered espresso beans since I can eat those things like candy, lol.

  212. Anna Molly says:

    I love it here too :) especially this time of year. Apple picking and cider doughnuts yumm!

  213. Sweety~AKA BG*395953 says:

    Anna Molly~ It is beautiful there, I love Lake George!

  214. Anna Molly says:

    It is beautiful up here :)

  215. Anna Molly says:

    I live near Lake George

  216. NYGent says:

    anna molly: where in upstate NY are you? Leaves are beautiful up the Hudson right now and I’ll bet in Adirondacks too.

  217. Sweety~AKA BG*395953 says:

    Flo Rida~ I need a friend like yours girl!!! 40k cash…. 😀

    NYGent~ I’m sure you will surface soon!!! 😉

  218. Anna Molly says:

    I’m sorry NYGent…is there anything I can do to cheer you up?

  219. NYGent says:

    SouthernGent and Jason and others: thanks for the advice which is eminently reasonable. But of course we guys sometimes reach that point where we just have to go down with the ship and afraid that’s where I am right now (blub, blub).

  220. Flo Rida says:

    RealisticSD – friend of mine who’s semi-professional gambler offered to pay for a $40k car in cash to launder gambling winnings The dealership wouldn’t take it.

    What you need is a trusted partner in crime who does the leg work for you but you must trust him or her absolutely. It’ll cost you BUT it’ll make life a lot easier.

    Until it was dissolved there was an invitation poker home game – buy in $50k – $1 million with two buy in a night. But they wouldn’t just play hold em, that’d play Hi-Lo, Lucy whatever it’s called – games I had no idea of. Even smart guys can’t play all the games well. Now that was interesting just watching it. Imagine $50k being short stacked.

    NewSB in SB – I’ve lived a scary life BUT there’s always someone else who’s lived scarier.

  221. BigAppleBaby says:

    Hi fellow bloggers-
    Been out of the country for a few days and just catching up.

    NYCsb: that is funny. My pot SD also has a SB in Asia but what bothers me slightly is that he said he also has a new SB in NYC but he doesn’t think it will work out for the long term schedule-wise.

    I am still debating this one because of all of his wealth and how he made his money.

  222. RealisticSD says:

    Flo Rida, I was able to get a secret bank account and credit card without getting caught yet (opened them online using work address a while back). Now working on the bachelor pad, which I have concluded is a must for sugar dating for me, as I don’t like hotels that much and prefer somewhere more “homey”. I am a little worried that the apartment will call work to verify my employment and tell my HR manager that I am renting an apartment and she’d wonder what the hell is going on. But I assume they won’t bother because of my credit rating of 800 and paystubs showing that I can pay the year’s rent with a day or two’s pay. Plus I offered to pay the year’s rent up front because I hate paying bills, but they won’t take it as one lump sum. Makes no sense. The good in all this is that they will do a criminal background check, so I told NewTXSB she won’t have to worry about me being a criminal if I get approved.

  223. Good evening all *in my scariest voice* Ha! Ever since Children of the Corn, my scary movie days were finished! I would need a strong sd to snuggle up to and tell me when to close my eyes…hee hee.

    SugarDiplomat SD says: That was awkward.
    Great story…thanks for sharing. Looks like you recovered nicely!

    Flo Rida says:
    I hear playmate hurl (she wasn’t drunk it was a weight control thing). So she cleans herself up & takes some mouthwash & goes back out & continues making our with mr. lawyer. Now i’m cracking up & telling everyone BUT mr lawyer & we all egg him on & encourage them both.

    ROTFLMAO!!! We may have to hang out…I like your sense of irony!

    SincereSD says:
    Had an SB with the same name as my wife … in my busy state, I inadvertently sent a message to my wife about plans for the weekend. pps: Luckily it was a “clean” email and didn’t raise any red flags but I had to go to a play intended for my SB.

    That’s playing it safe…no chance yelling out the wrong name in the heat of the moment. Did you have to cancel plans with your sb to take your wife on those plans?

    RealisticSD says:
    So she proceeds to send a thank you card home, thanking me for buying whatever it was from Tiffany’s. Lucky for me, it was one of those rare days when I checked the mail, otherwise it would have been trouble.

    It must be tough being a married sd…but well worth it too!

    NYC SB says:
    Excuse me while I once again plug the all wonderous invention which is GVoice – if you are a blackberry user… google will provide you with a cell number (free of charge) which you can link to your blackberry… this allows you to place calls from a number which is not your primary number… and should the man turn out to be a stalker… its very easy to block log online you can block or send him to a voice mail box set up just for him or even better re route his call to an escort house – whatever makes you feel better

    Great advice. First I’ve heard of it and I use my pearl to death! It’s no wonder you are sb royalty!

    NC Gent says:
    October 19, 2009 at 11:25 am
    Hi VC — you are welcome. I think that Koni Art lingerie is soooo sexy, but unfortunately not that comfortable… just means it came off sooner though lol

    You guys know all the tricks!

    NC Gent says:
    October 19, 2009 at 11:54 am
    I need to find an SB that will do the lingerie-heels combo. In the past, I always focused on the lingerie and the blog is beginning to make me think that I may have missed out on something all of these years

    That shouldn’t be too hard to find…heels w/out the lingere work well too.

    Taz says:
    October 19, 2009 at 12:15 pm
    TY Lady_8 – the date has been set up for a couple weeks now actually lol..just didn’t want to say anything much in case it fizzled out (haha and I am a tiny bit superstitious)…but…lol…I do like to think HE scored a date with me

    Congrats on the pot SD Taz! I’m a little careful too!

    AtlNicole says:
    October 19, 2009 at 5:38 pm
    I like the sports, video games, and I will play poker with the best of em, but scary movies? Pass. I get grossed out way to easily. I do like the old classics from my childhood like Halloween and Friday the 13th. Not the Rob Zombie versions…ummm that guy really give me nightmares.

    Here, Here Nicole! When we have the sugar bash, perhaps our sds could set us up with a friendly Texas Hold em game.

    Phew….I think I’m getting this whole blogging thing :-0

    XOXO
    NSB

  224. Anna Molly says:

    lol…at least they’re being honest :)

  225. SouthernGent2 says:

    Profile line of the day:

    “If you want to take me out, its going to cost you”

  226. Anna Molly says:

    Its been a while since I’ve been on there…oh well things change I suppose.

  227. I already have an account and I started out with 0. you can camp (sit around doing nothing) and if you wait long enough you will make pittance in an hour or so. not enough to buy anything.

    is all good. If that is how they did it, that must have been awhile ago. Unless you have to purchase the yearly and it also adds cash to your account.

  228. Anna Molly says:

    There is no need to purchase Linden dollars I don’t think. I believe they start you out with a certain amount, but I can’t remember how much it is. You are allowed to purchase lots of a certain size without a monthly fee. After you get up to a cetain lot size they start charging, but if you flip it fast enough you avoid the monthly fee and you’ve doubled your money. If I remember correctly it is $78 per year and that allows you to purchase the largest lot sizes available.

    I would buy a huge lot, divide it into smaller lots, then take the purchase price of the land and divide that by the number of lots I want to sell, then I would add 15 to 20% to the purchase price of each of the smaller lots. Thats how I did it, but I guess everybody has their own way of doing it :) You can by all kinds of books about Second Life on Amazon.

    The biggest problem is finding a good location….wow this was long winded, sorry. :)

  229. hey all just being a lurky-loo latley

  230. I did hear that you can make money that way. Don’t you need to purchase game money to have enough to do that?

  231. Anna Molly says:

    It was an interesting job and you’re helping families. I loved it.

  232. lisa says:

    That’s nice Anna. I read about that online, those who go and clean up the crime scene and make it clean. I’ve only seen a few murdered people, a couple incidents where someone was shot in the head or chest, and one was a guy who was murdered outside my patio several years back when I lived somewhere else. I could see it really well even though I didn’t even know it had happened till the next morning when I was getting my daughter ready for school and head alot of comotion. The guy was laying across the walk with his throat cut and there were bloody footprints along the side of the patio fence.

    Sounds like an interesting job.

  233. Anna Molly says:

    Forget the Faces of Death movies….I used to work as a trauma scene tech. I used to go in and clean up all the gore. Now that is scary stuff right there. Great pay though and I would do it again if I lived in a bigger city. All of you must think I’m strange, but it helps families that would otherwise have to clean things up themselves.

  234. lisa says:

    soccer is for wussies

  235. RedMaru says:

    Hey AtlNicole How are ya if you’re still here…
    I live in Midtown area close to GA Tech….

  236. lisa says:

    I’ve always wanted to see the “faces of death” videos. The only sports I can tolerate are baseball and horse racing. I used to love watching the horse races on tv every saturday night when I was a little girl living in the Arlington park area of Illionois. Never been to the races here because they are not inside Houston thus no way to get there.

  237. Flo Rida says:

    I started this “sports, horror, gamer” discussion – regretting it now – has anyone seen the “Faces of Death” videos – now those scared me because it’s real (or at least very fake real). I retired from DukeNukeem and Doom III because I was spending way too much time playing them at school. Also I love sports – but soccer, rugby and cricket not US sports, Are we wierd?

  238. Anna Molly says:

    I like Dawn of the Dead myself.

    While we are speaking of gross things, I used to have a gross and very strange job if anybody wants to hear about it.

  239. lisa says:

    Gotta love those Charles Bronson vigilante movies too and I always like to watch airplane hijack and crash movies before I fly anywhere.

    • OCSugarbaby says:

      Go see Paranormal Activity! But you may need sleep with the lights on for a month. Uber creepy. Great SD/SB cuddle up because you are scared movie!
      I knew I would not be the only gamer/sports/horror enthusiast. :) Thanks for all the back up!

      James: No worries, waxing is not for the faint-hearted. lol However we may come after you with a pair of scissors!!! Oh that could be a new SB/SD horror movie shot with a video phone. lol

  240. lisa says:

    I love horror movies. I was raised on them. One of my faves is Rob Zombie’s House of 1000 corpses. My parents went to see that for their wedding anniversery one year. It’s a family favorite of ours. Corpse grinders, all the Saw movies, BodyBags, Sorrority house massacre, gotta love those.

  241. SugaCaneBby says:

    I always say that people like Eli Roth and Rob Zombie aren’t scary, they’re just gross. There’s more to horror then blood and guts and squishy noises. I was skimming Fangoria mag about a week ago and they opened up an article about how some crappy movie had everything a hardcore horror afficianado would enjoy: Drugs, Gore, and Tits. I was like, “Seriously?” Bleh. I like Rob Zombie’s work as he goes for a bit more than cheap scares and gore, but what him and his other writer\director\producer buddies are touting as “horror” nowadays is nothing like what I grew up.

    …and now back to your regularly scheduled programming. :3 I’m supposed to be hunting for food.

  242. SugaCaneBby says:

    (apparently being wired doesn’t save me from typos. whoops.)

  243. AtlNicole says:

    I like the sports, video games, and I will play poker with the best of em, but scary movies? Pass. I get grossed out way to easily. I do like the old classics from my childhood like Halloween and Friday the 13th. Not the Rob Zombie versions…ummm that guy really give me nightmares.

  244. SugaCaneBby says:

    Geeks unite. :B I’m a casual gamer, mainly messed with the PS2 back when I had the funds. I got a DS for my bday. Steadily compiling games. The bestie owns a 360 and since he’s a video game PROGRAMMER, I’m more to the sidelines (as he’s hardcore) especially since all 360 games moved their multi-player modes to online only. Have to buy a system for myself and junk. And I LOVE horror movies. Classic horror though, not all this splatter-punk crap that people like Eli Roth make (although I find Cabin Fever amusing for being so horrible).

    Women that like sports, video games, and “scary flicks” aren’t THAT uncommon nowadays.

  245. AtlNicole says:

    NYC – I am a pretty huge geek. There is no denying it at this point. If only that carried over into my Calculus studies….

  246. SugaCaneBby says:

    Hey all. Pretty frickin’ nice day here despite being mid-October in the midwest. I’ve been freezing my bum off for the past week, but today actually feels like what I believe autumn should feel like. Warmed by the sun, a little windy, but nothing a light hoodie wouldn’t cover. I went into work wearing my father’s wool suit jacket (I use it as an early winter coat) and found it too uncomfortable to wear when I got off. :)

    NYC – GVoice just sounds better and better everytime you mention it. Number unscramble, eh? The devious part of me likes that, although I don’t know what I would use it for. Just gives me piece of mind. Now, if only I had enough to by the blackberry I want…darn bills.

    I hope everyone is having a nice day. I’m going to find something to stuff my face with and then take a nap as I’ve been up for over 24 hrs now. @____@ Why? No reason. I just despise sleep sometimes. I still feel wired though. Has to be all the sunshine.

  247. NYC SB says:

    who knew so many SBs are gamers …

  248. AtlNicole says:

    RedMaru – Have not seen you on here in ages. I can’t remember, what part of GA are you from? I have been looking for another SB that I can go out on the prowl with.

    Hello again James! Always lovely to see you on the blogs. Especially now that your drama has been taken care of.

    As far as MMORPGs go. Too addictive for me. I almost dropped out of school because i was playing WoW too much. No good. Although now that you can playjust about anything online through an Xbox or PS3, there is no end to the trouble I get up to. I finally got Madden…which is the best game ever made. So I am hard at work training my Charger’s.

  249. Anna Molly says:

    It does take a while. You can’t pay your bills with the money you do make, but it does put spending money in your pocket. I made 150 in about two weeks just buying and selling property, if I had more time there is no telling what I could have made. Much easier than being a true real estate agent…..which can be a cut throat business. I’ll stop now because eventually I’ll stop making sense…lol

  250. James says:

    Hey guys, venturing back onto the blog, after overcoming my irrational fear that OC and others were going to try to wax and trim me into smooth submission! :-) Call me Samson ….

    NYGent, I have to agree with SouthernGent2. The third date is the charm, in sugarworld as well as real life, whenever it takes place. If it is still an issue at that point, it likely will always be. I suppose it depends on what you’re looking for, but if you want a healthy sexual relationship as well as the more noble satisfactions of companionship and paternal benevolence, this smells like trouble. If she isn’t feeling it, what’s going to change her mind? Nobody wants to force anything on anyone, but you shouldn’t have to work so hard at it and you shouldn’t have to feel anxious or awkward about it. This is supposed to make you feel good. Unless her reluctance, and overcoming that reluctance, is part of the appeal to you. Only you can know what you want.

    D-dubs, I think there was a failure or series of failure to communicate, which has now led to some mutual distrust. It also sounds, frankly, that each of you is a little inexperienced, which added to the confusion. Unless there is something deeply compelling about her, I would let it go, take the lesson learned and try to start afresh.

  251. Very true, I did find that out about the game. That you can trade game money for real cash. But the amount of time you would have to invest into making enough doesn’t equal the amount of money you can make in a ‘real’ job.

    But to have the game break even and have fun at the same time. That would be worth it.

  252. Anna Molly says:

    You should play Lady_8 397899, you can make real money! Pretty cool!

  253. And I haven’t been much into games lately, though I did find an interesting one online. Second Life.

    And it is a sim game, the developers left the door open for the user to decide what they will have the game be about. Either fantasy or just an alter ego. Anything you want it to be. Seems interesting, but haven’t decided if I want to get into that game as of yet.

  254. LOL

    Actually building computers isn’t all that hard, but That is what my degree is in so maybe it is harder then I realize.

  255. NYC SB says:

    my little brother builds computers… maybe he can be your SD… hopefully your computer lasts another year and a half… this way he is of legal age of consent

  256. Anna Molly says:

    I have every Sims 2 game and the Sims 3. My computer is holding up for now, but pretty soon I’ll need an upgrade….I better find myself a SD..lol

  257. RedMaru says:

    For now I play WoW but this new game called Aion my gamer friend was playing when I hung out Saturday came out where the characters have wings and cool weapons…well its hard to resist. I played Warhammer briefly. And every now and then I’ll dabble into Guild Wars and Sims. Right now I’m on WoW…one online gaming addiction at time I keep telling myself….lol

  258. Anna Molly says:

    I play Warhammer online…every once in a while I’ll play WOW, but not very often. I’m a huge fan of the Halo series too.

  259. NYC SB says:

    OC – you have mail :)

  260. RedMaru says:

    Hey OCSugarbaby How are you
    Actually I know I’m kinda late I love PS2, PS3, Xbox, Wii and anything gaming in general and horror flicks. I want an XBox or Wii sooo bad! I played it over my friends house yesterday and Saturday playing Left 4 Dead and Batman Arkham Asylum and went home with withdrawl symptoms…. I only have a PS2, a DSi and a PC which I play World of Warcraft on.
    Hey Anna Molly…you’re a gamer gal too? Cool!(jumps up and down with delight)
    If only I could find a SD willing to feed my sci fi, anime/manga and gaming habit

  261. Anna Molly says:

    I wii bowled a perfect game once!

  262. anonymous92019 says:

    Anna Molly ~ I have a premium membership, but after reading some of the comments from the SD’s here, it seems like it doesnt really make a difference to them if you are a premium member or not.

    NC Gent ~ I wouldnt be suprised if the uptick in Sugarland is due to media attention. I didnt even know this site exsisted until a friend of mine mentioned she had heard about it on CNN. Curiousity led me here.
    Also, being the ‘Crafty’ person that you are (lol), I’m sure you will have no problem finding a SB that will do the lingerie-heels combo.

    Taz ~ Good luck on your date with your pot SD…hope it works out for you!

  263. Anna Molly says:

    I have this pot from Cali…which I hadn’t heard from in a few days. Here I was thinking he was sick with disappearitis. Wants me to come to NYC at the last minute, but tells me to bring something to keep me busy during the day cause he will be working late…what? What does this mean? Maybe he is testing me to see if I’ll ask for money? Reason I say this is because he didn’t want to tell me what kind of car he drives. The only reason why I asked the question is because he said he enjoyed driving. I did get it out of him though…yay me!

  264. NYC SB says:

    This past friday I had a regular date… we went to a bar where they had wii bowling… i destroyed him and pretty much everyone else in the bar (perfect game) – the boy was scared of my mad wii skilz hahaha

  265. Anna Molly says:

    Sweety~AKA BG*395953

    No, unfortunately. I’m from upstate NY, but I’m only a couple of hours away :) I used come up your way all the time, but since the WHTI went into effect I’m stuck. Not for too much longer I hope.

    OC – I like most of that stuff too!

    I like golf…long game great, short game awful! Horror is my fave genre and hockey is my fave sport. I also have/had every game system ever made. Right now I have a PS3, XBOX 360, Wii, GameCube, XBOX, PS2, Sega, Atari, PSP and DS..Whew. I know, just a little excessive. Fantasy football and ESPN..I can take it or leave it :)

    • OCSugarbaby says:

      Hi Miss Molly: I knew I wasn’t alone with liking that stuff! I am still a girly girl, just can hang with the boys… lol

  266. Sweety~AKA BG*395953 says:

    OC ~ I’m so happy for you!!!

  267. Sweety~AKA BG*395953 says:

    Hi OC~ how is your beautiful sugar life?

    • OCSugarbaby says:

      Hey Sweety! My sugar life has been so wonderful. I am still floating off the ground. Having a single SD is amazing. (sorry married SD’s)
      No restrictions on txts, calls or time spent together. Very relaxed feeling. My stomach was always in knots before, thinking about the other person in all of this. Oh wait, actually “I” was the other person!

  268. anonymous92019 says:

    D-Dubs~ My thoughts on the pot SB subject….RUN…as fast as you can in the other direction! Listen to that little voice inside your head.

    SincereSD~ As for the baby, I’ll just take your word for it! lol. The waitress on the other hand, …here are my two cents: Revisit the restaurant alone. This way the waitress will be able express feelings more openly. Tell her you remember her from the last time you dined with your friends/business associates. Give her one (just one) compliment before your meal ends (beautiful smile or very pretty eyes are good choices). Then when you leave give her a cash tip. Fold the money in half with your business card inside. On the back write a personal one or two liner. ie. “I would be honored to treat you to lunch or dinner if your schedule permits”. Nothing too pushy and also you are letting her know that her time is just as important as yours. Just my two cents!

  269. Sweety~AKA BG*395953 says:

    Anna Molly~ I’m from Montreal! Are you here as well?

    Taz~ woo hoo

    Hey OC, VC, Red, NYC SB and everyone else! lol

  270. anonymous92019 says:

    Just stopped by to say hello to everyone. In class goofing off. Decided to catch up on the blog chatter!

    • OCSugarbaby says:

      Good Morning Sugars!

      D-Dubs: I must say that you my dear SD were not clearly following thru with your promise. You did state you would take her shopping the next day? Yet, you hate to shop. That would be like a SB stating that she would not kiss you until the second date, but clearly knowing she hates kissing in general. (bad analogy, but you get the picture).
      She was not using you as an ATM, she was getting mixed signals from you. At least that is what I felt from your post. If she were using you she would have kept the $200. Which you knew when you gave it to her that it would not go very far in the high end stores.
      It clearly sounds like a $ugar stale mate… Mutual trust going forward is hard but if you can find the right balance it does work. :)

      • OCSugarbaby says:

        “Don’t men KNOW we hate/dislike golf, sports, ESPN, horror movies, fantasy football, PS3 etc and we don’t seem to get brownie points in return”

        BTW I LOVE all of these things! ~OC

  271. Taz says:

    VC – The pot and I are both from Ontario, Canada…yes ladies there are at least one or two good SD`s close to home…hopefully 😉 (Sincere and my pot lol 😉 )

    Thanks for all the well wishes – I will most definitely keep you all up to speed!

  272. Ms Behavin~389197 says:

    NC Gent says:
    October 19, 2009 at 11:54 am
    I need to find an SB that will do the lingerie-heels combo. In the past, I always focused on the lingerie and the blog is beginning to make me think that I may have missed out on something all of these years

    I have the shoes LOL

  273. Anna Molly says:

    Any SB’s here from Montreal? I’m hoping to have my passport card in a couple of weeks and I’m looking for a good place to get my hair done. I’m only a couple of hours away and would rather go to a salon up there.

    Sigh….I love Montreal :)

  274. Ms Behavin~389197 says:

    Hello every one,
    Just got all caught up,looks like its been a busy morn.I must check out some of this sexy lingerie.

  275. Welcome Taz, I would do the same thing. If you talk about it too much or too soon and it fizzles. You beat yourself up thinking you may have messed it up.

    Better to wait and see.

    You deserve some happiness.

  276. VillaCypris *396153* says:

    Ahhhh… I forgot you were the one that happened to… I’d love to go to Beirut. It’s supposed to be just gorgeous, with a vibrant cultural scene, not to mention the food. The closest I’ve been was Amman. Hopefully three months with pot SD in the USA and then you can go abroad! :)

  277. RedMaru says:

    Hi Taz….grats on your sugar date keeping fingers and toes crossed for you!

  278. Taz says:

    TY Lady_8 – the date has been set up for a couple weeks now actually lol..just didn’t want to say anything much in case it fizzled out (haha and I am a tiny bit superstitious)…but…lol…I do like to think HE scored a date with me 😉

  279. Taz says:

    VC – Yes this is true! It would most certainly be exciting – much more fun than the pot that wanted me to go to Lebanon for a FIRST date lol 😉

  280. And congrats Taz, glad that you scored a date with a pot. 😀

    *crosses fingers*

  281. VillaCypris *396153* says:

    Taz – three months is better than zero months! :) besides if you really have an amazing time together, perhaps you can continue to see him outside the USA. That would be exciting!

    Lady 8 – yeah, isn’t it gorgeous lingerie? wow!

  282. Good Morning Sugars.

    Doing some profile searching, and catching up on the blog.

    LOL

    Finally had time to take a look, and NEOhio you are right Carine Gilson is gorgeous.

    I am a sucker for feels good clothes, for under and outer wear, that looks to die for.

    You are right NYGent Koni Art is beautiful but if it is as uncomfortable as you say then it would drive me to crazy to consider wearing.

  283. Taz says:

    Thanks VC – I do too! 😀 He wants to meet for lunch on Friday and then…shopping :) Unfortunately it is only a short term arrangement – he will be leaving the country again in three months…but in the meantime we are going to have a blast if it all works out!

  284. VillaCypris *396153* says:

    RedMaru – me, too! But do no fret…. :)

    Taz – CONGRATS! Hope the date lives up to all expectations!!

  285. NC Gent says:

    Thanks for the kind words, Red. I am really not too uncomfortable about it. Sometimes I just need a sugar break. One thing that I find completely ironic is that I communicate more often with my last SB now that it has ended. I guess I have a platonic SB now – never thought that would happen lol

  286. Taz says:

    Good Afternoon sugar world and happy monday! Hope everyone has a wonderful day today!

    I have a date this friday with a pot. I have been speaking with him for a couple weeks (he’s been out of the country) and am soooo excited. I thought maybe the interest or excitement would have diminished some in that time…but that is not the case at all!! Yay! I am verrry excited!

  287. RedMaru says:

    NCGent – Aw I’m sorry bout that, I’m sugarless too if its any comfort.

    Hey NYCSB – Still searching kinda weary on jumping out thanks to the flake date that I had some months back. Still working day to day and trying to stay warm as the temp took a dive here in GA

  288. NC Gent says:

    I need to find an SB that will do the lingerie-heels combo. In the past, I always focused on the lingerie and the blog is beginning to make me think that I may have missed out on something all of these years 😉

  289. NC Gent says:

    NYC SB — as I have matured, I have become craftier in getting women out of their panties :)

  290. VillaCypris *396153* says:

    NYC SB – pair that uncomfortable lingerie with some towering 8″ CL platforms…. :)

  291. NYC SB says:

    Hi Red – how are things?

    Hiya NC – nice ploy you have conjured up there… tsk tsk tsk

  292. NC Gent says:

    Doing well RedMaru — currently sugarless, but I am not that seriously looking.

    Hi Anna Molly — I think it is super sexy when a woman wears one of my dress shirts, but I am all about getting glimpses of lingerie — love that :)

  293. Anna Molly says:

    Koni Art – Nice stuff! I don’t really wear lingerie though; I prefer a mans button up shirt and thats it :). Its just easier that way…lol. Why put something on if its just going to come right off?

  294. RedMaru says:

    Hey Villa!
    NCGent hows it going! Good to see familiar faces…lol

  295. VillaCypris *396153* says:

    HAHAHAH! That’s a new tactic….buy your SB ‘uncomfortable’ lingerie… so she’ll want to take it off 😉 NICE!

  296. NC Gent says:

    Hi VC — you are welcome. I think that Koni Art lingerie is soooo sexy, but unfortunately not that comfortable… just means it came off sooner though lol

  297. VillaCypris *396153* says:

    Hey Red!

    NC Gent – thanks for the heads up on Koni Art. Very nice! And eco-friendly.

    NEOhio – finally looked up Carine Gilson…. WOW! I never thought I would ‘cheat’ on La Perla…. but…. 😉

  298. NC Gent says:

    Hiya RedMaru – long time no see. Good to see you this morning NYC SB :)

    Question for the SDs — any other SDs notice an uptick in the number of SBs looking for serious relationships and/or NSA (no sex allowed) arrangements? Not sure if it is a result of the ABC 20/20 show. Just curious.

  299. RedMaru says:

    Hey NYC SB long time no see…lol

  300. NYC SB says:

    ohhh another nifty feature of the gvoice – say a pot calls you from a blocked number – if you hit redial google unscrambles the phone … and now you have his number 😉

  301. NYC SB says:

    Anna Molly says: O.K. I have a question. How do you handle a pot SD who wants your # right away. I like to get to know someone a little before I give out my number..I even state that in my profile. This just tells me that he didn’t read my whole profile…should I give him a chance anyway? Also, how many SB here have premium memberships? Should I upgrade?

    Excuse me while I once again plug the all wonderous invention which is GVoice – if you are a blackberry user… google will provide you with a cell number (free of charge) which you can link to your blackberry… this allows you to place calls from a number which is not your primary number… and should the man turn out to be a stalker… its very easy to block log online you can block or send him to a voice mail box set up just for him or even better re route his call to an escort house – whatever makes you feel better :)

  302. RedMaru says:

    Here Here photogirl!

  303. VillaCypris *396153* says:

    photogirl says:
    October 19, 2009 at 10:13 am

    Anna Molly – Patience :) Have to treat this as a want not a need, an enhancement to your life, not a neccessity… but I can also relate to your frustration.

    ——-

    Very well said. I completely agree. !!

  304. VillaCypris *396153* says:

    Good morning all!

    welcome back Flo Rida!!!!!! 😀 😀

  305. Flo Rida says:

    Anna Molly – ask for his number, call him on your phone, blank your number in preferences before you call him (but his itemized phone statement will still show your number – or so i’m told – so if he notes the time of your call he can still get the number you’re calling from) that way he doesn’t get yours. Keep positive this can be a frustrating life.

  306. photogirl says:

    Anna Molly – Patience :) Have to treat this as a want not a need, an enhancement to your life, not a neccessity… but I can also relate to your frustration.

  307. Anna Molly says:

    I’m not a negative person…really I’m not. I’m just frustrated.

  308. Anna Molly says:

    Yeah, I don’t think I’ll upgrade…especially with the luck I’ve been having, but I know it will change :)

  309. Anna Molly says:

    I thought about the tracphone thing, but decided that it would raise too many questions. Why do you have two phones? I can hear it now…lol. I just get the feeling all he wants is some dirty talk and thats it. Sorry, but I’m not into that. Seems like thats how things go for me…sigh. All of the guys I have found interesting succumb to the disappearitis.

  310. RedMaru says:

    Hi NC Gent
    Hi Anna – I second and third NC Gent and photogirl : Go with your gut if you’re not comfortable explain that to him. If he is a gentleman, he will understand and want to get to know you better so he can get your phone number. Also the only benefits I saw in a premium membership was that i could refine searches and see who checked me out.

  311. NC Gent says:

    Anna — I would simply tell him you aren’t comfortable with giving him your number yet. If he won’t respect your feelings on that, he likely isn’t worthwhile anyways. Some people do get the pay-as-you go tracphones. You can also say you will call him and block your number from appearing, but I think the best thing is to tell him you aren’t comfortable yet.

    Good morning sugars!

  312. photogirl says:

    Anna Molly – I also prefer to get to know someone a little prior to giving my number out. In the past when I’ve had a pot ask for it in the first message or two, I’ve told them I would like to talk a bit more through email and or IM first. Most have been very understanding of this.

    I currently do not have a premium membership. Although you do get to see who has viewed your profile and added you to their favorites with premium as well as being able to refine your search criteria.

  313. RedMaru says:

    Morning sugar world! How’s everyone
    Been gone for a long time off the blog I sorta miss it.
    But to answer the questions, no it would not be logical for a man in a public light to keep a mistress openly but it happens anyway doesn’t it….i.e most of our Presidents, foriegn kings, etc. It would be more logical to be discreet

    Are people with money and power more likely to cheat….not more likely people with money and power are still people just like the regular working joe or jane in that if the opportunity presents itself.

    Do I take special precautions when dating a SD? Yes thanks to a experience with a flake, I tend to screen more carefully and don’t overlook red flags no matter how slight. I probably should have been doing this from the getgo but live and learn. I also have friends that I trust who I keep alerted and help me to screen and offer advice.

  314. Flo Rida says:

    Anna Molly – read my and others previous blog on tracphone, 1-800 dials in and *82 – i posted on this before just search for me. General consensus (not me) is for SBs there is no benefit to upgrading.

  315. Anna Molly says:

    O.K. I have a question. How do you handle a pot SD who wants your # right away. I like to get to know someone a little before I give out my number..I even state that in my profile. This just tells me that he didn’t read my whole profile…should I give him a chance anyway? Also, how many SB here have premium memberships? Should I upgrade?

  316. SouthernGent2 says:

    Some great discussion above. I’m certain to leave something out.

    D-Dubs – I just went thru something similar a couple of weeks ago with someone I had met on the site. We had not seen each other in months, really due to long distance. Then she texts me erotic texts, only to lead me into saying she wants an allowance from me before I come to see her again. So that was just a huge turnoff, and I realized it was just about me being an ATM for her. Let her find someone else………..

    Time spent together – I would find it hard to see someone more than 2-3 times per month. A long time former I would see pretty much every week, but she was local, and even that was sometimes difficult. Hard to believe someone could go four days in a row lol. And in terms of a trip and extra time together, I don’t think I could do two nights in a row even. Too much time together just might take away a lot of the shine for both parties.

    NYCGent – I tend to agree with a certain amount of patience. I do think a couple of months is too long though, even if it won’t break you. I don’t even make it a possibility first meeting, second meeting either way works for me, but usually second meeting you can tell if something isn’t going to go right for either party. I think about a month of trial allowance with no mutual return is as far as I would take things (which to me would be a third meeting).

    I forget who it was now withoug looking – I don’t get bent out of shape if someone I meet doesn’t want to have sex, or isn’t attracted. Handle it and move on. If I were 22 female, I’m not sure I could hop in the sack with a man the age of my father. I can see where its not easy for some. It goes both ways. I have met a couple of really sweet girls in the last year or so, but I realized I wasn’t attracted sexually like I thought I would be (the funny part is that one really had good chemistry with me, but I knew if clothes came off, I would get turned off, so there was no way I was going to put myself in an intimate situation that turned hurtful to her). For whatever reason, its hard for me to be attracted to someone. It takes a lot, thus part of my reason for being so selective now.

  317. Flo Rida says:

    RealisticSD – one of my SDs friends is a lawyer (different from Mr. Lawyer in my Antik story) and he set up a separate bank account and bachelor pad with instructions to send all correspondence to WORK and not home. Guess what the bank sends a statement to HOME and the broker calls HOME and wife finds out and asks “honey what’s the separate bank account for” and “honey what’s the apartment for”. Two difficult bullets to dodge. At the end of the day banks are bureaucracies and coordinating departments is too much of a risk. Cover your tracks – ok back to work.

  318. Flo Rida says:

    NewTXSB and RealisticSD – get a room! (or not – free country) congrats on the first blog-mance.

    Photogirl – thanks babe, good to be back.

    D-Dubs – The best way to handle sugar seems to be a chemistyry date (where no allowance or expectations are discussed) followed by an arrangement date (which tends to be brutal and where no chemistry is discussed). You’re mixing up the process and so is she. If you have chemistry then sit her down and go through in painful details both your and her expectations. Btw I don’t think $1-2k plus shopping and spoiling is that big of a deal (but to each his own) and if you had more certainty or commitment from her I bet you’d be gladly willing to pay it. You can address her ATM expectations head on by discussing exactly what you will provide in terms of gifts, shopping, travel, spa, allowance, mentoring etc, equally be a bit more explicit in what you need.

    Finally WE KNOW men hate/dislike shopping so someone who INDULGES us gets huge brownie points (forgetting about discretion and being caught for a moment). Don’t men KNOW we hate/dislike golf, sports, ESPN, horror movies, fantasy football, PS3 etc and we don’t seem to get brownie points in return.

    SincereSD – thanks for the PS3 trip – i’ll borrow a friends. Afraid I gave up games after I was ADDICTED to DukeNukeem and Doom III and by addicted I was playing all night and during times I should have been working.

  319. SugarDiplomat SD says:

    To D-Dubs: She may not be a golddigger per se, and it may just be a case of both of you simply just moving too fast without having covered the basics first.

    On the other hand, her quick escalation to initiating intimacy (without too much prompting from you) indicates that she might possibly be a professional.

  320. SugarDiplomat SD says:

    What could I really say when the husband of my previous SB called me out of the blue? He wanted to know what was going on and wanted me to end all contact with his wife (both fair requests, IMHO).

    I told my SB at the time about the awkward call and announced that this was the end of the road for me, but she insisted that she could handle it and that we should continue the arrangement regardless.
    I am not sure she ever faced up to her husband, however.

    But we continued together for several more months, until I ended it for reasons that had nothing to do with her being married.

  321. EastCoastFilly says:

    I have no interest in anyone taking me shopping, it actually would be awkward for me. I would rather go by myself or I ask them if there is anything they want to see me in and I’ll go find it and surprise them at our next date.

    D-Dubs: Sorry but it sounds like shes kinda using you a bit. But then again Realstic has a point. Have you guys made a solid arrangement? That is my fear too that the guy will take advantage of me but it is also my job to not allow anything physical to happen beforehand, ie, not going up to someones room which could be dangerous. I would never ask, I wait for the offer. It should happen naturally, she is forcing the issue. If shes holding back her affection til you pay up, that would feel very uncomfortable. Brings me back to the point about a young girl waiting to have sex with her older SD, if you sense the girl is scared or just in it for the money, why bother. Don’t you want someone who really likes you.

  322. RealisticSD says:

    On the topic of shopping, one of the worst things that has happened to me was that I bought something from Tiffany’s for an IRL SB and the girl at Tiffany’s kept asking me who it’s for, to which finally and rather grudgingly I responded, “My wife.” So she proceeds to send a thank you card home, thanking me for buying whatever it was from Tiffany’s. Lucky for me, it was one of those rare days when I checked the mail, otherwise it would have been trouble. I would think that Tiffany’s would be smart enough to know that married men don’t need thank you notes. But I learned my lesson. I haven’t been back to Tiffany’s, and I now make it clear to hotels I don’t want anything mailed to me at all after a similar incident from a hotel.

  323. RealisticSD says:

    D-Dubs, it is possible that your problem was that you had no arrangement in place, so she got concerned that you were after freebies and you were concerned of the same with respect to her. After the first night, had you told her exactly what you planned on giving her and what you expected in return, you might have avoided that situation. But in your specific case, it sounds to me like she was the ATM-type SB—the one that is only concerned about what she can get and how quickly she can get it. There are ways of playing this type, but my strong recommendation (and what I have always done) is to avoid this type like the plague because they are just a negative influence in your life.

    Personally, I haven’t gone shopping much with SBs for a few reasons, namely that I don’t have the extended breaks to go on real shopping trips, because I am concerned of getting caught in a place like a mall, and because shopping for women’s clothes/shoes is innately boring to me. If my SB is looking for something specific, I can always buy it for her, but it’s easier for me to give her the money to get it herself.

  324. photogirl says:

    D-Dubs – I don’t believe you were wrong… it does appear she was using you. And I agree, she had no right to demand anything from you. Even with an agreement in place I don’t feel anyone should be ‘demanding’ anything.

    Flo-Rida – Good to see you back, you’ve been on my mind and always enjoy your posts.

    Lannie – You’ve also been on mind and glad to hear you are healing.

    SincereSD says: I am heavily into Tantra sex so it’s rare to find someone with the same “skills” … but usually someone who is highly sensuous, patient and caring in nature becomes a quick study. Establishing sexually chemistry before any intimacy is a key part of the courtship and seduction process for me. Great sex is not just “technique” … it involves passion, chemistry and a desire to please, etc.

    Now this is the type of SD I’d love to have!

    Hope everyone had a fantastic weekend! Loving the cool weather here… such a nice change.

  325. SincereSD says:

    Flo Rida says: – don’t take it personally – if you cold call or cold email you are bound to get rejected – think of the recipients of the emails – they may have 50 building up and they don’t want to respond to every email.
    gurlnextdoor says: I agree with Flo Rida, SDs are busy men and I don’t expect everyone that I email to email me back.

    With the exception of email from escorts or one liners, I always take the time to respond back. It’s common courtesy and doesn’t take too much time … like reading the blog and composing answers. 😛 Besides my inbox isn’t overflowing with email from prospective SB that I can’t respond.

    gurlnextdoor says: SBs on the other hand know their role and play their part happily keeping their relationship with their SD secret and discreet. Mistresses also carry with themselves a certain degree of drama I would think, that isn’t present with a SB. Examples being arguing over how long it will be for the married man to leave his wife, etc.

    Agreed with most of your comments. The reason I went the SB route was the expectation of being drama-free and less strings attached. However, I find sugar relationship are not without their share of drama (and I tend to be a magnet for drama queens). Unbeknownst to me when we first started dating, my last SB was an alcoholic, abused by her husband, under observation by Children’s Aid … on top of that she fell in love with me and started to get very clingy and emotional.

    New SB in SB said: “Would some of you be willing to share most awkward, funny or embarrassing sb/sd moments?”

    Had an SB with the same name as my wife … in my busy state, I inadvertently sent a message to my wife about plans for the weekend. :opps: Luckily it was a “clean” email and didn’t raise any red flags but I had to go to a play intended for my SB.

    NYGent says: I’ve been very generous in terms of fronting her allowance and buying her gifts, making clear that there is no immediate quid pro quo and that she is (in my words) “worth waiting for.” She has expressly thanked me for being “so patient.” If I thought she was just gaming me to get a quick score of ten grand (two month’s allowance) and then dumping me without having achieved any intimacy, I would end it, but I trust her and I am giving her the benefit of the doubt of acting in good faith so far.

    You, I and RSD seem to be rare in this respect of providing allowances prior to expectations of intimacy. I can’t say it has always worked to my advantage as I can’t always read women well but it’s important for me to show my prospective SB that I’m in it for more than just sex.

    Flo Rida says: I guess Sincere, Realistic, SugarDiplomat, NYGent and others on this blog are outliers as they do care about SBs as people (but guess what they also want something & i’ll give you one clue only).

    Hmmm … what might that be Ms. Flo Rida??? :roll:

    Buttercup says: i talked to my pot SD; although hes very determined to stay at 2k [i always did say i liked a men that can stand his ground :( ] i decided to approach him from my standpoint..our compromise is that the inital stage of the arrangmnt is basically just friendship, dates to business meetings etc.,

    it’s probably best get off on the wrong foot and make this just about money. You still need to come to an understanding about schedules though as 2-3x/week is going to be tough to maintain.

    NYGent says: RealisticSD: believe me, I’ve seen plenty of ploys and even been victimized by a couple. I could easily write a book (Or an anonymous New Yorker article) on the SBs who will do/say anything for a quick few bucks or pair of Jimmy Choo’s or Chanel Bag, thinking nothing of the hurt they incur when they drop you for the next gullible schmuck and $$ score.

    Need a contributing editor? Sadly speaking, I could write you a couple of chapters.

  326. SincereSD says:

    Red Scouser says: Question to SDs – are you looking for a SB with ahemmm bedroom skills? or would you think she’s slutty? or would you be happy that’s she’s inexperienced.

    Skilled is a relative term … but yes, I’m definitely looking for a SB with an open mind and someone who is a caring and passionate lover. I am heavily into Tantra sex so it’s rare to find someone with the same “skills” … but usually someone who is highly sensuous, patient and caring in nature becomes a quick study. Establishing sexually chemistry before any intimacy is a key part of the courtship and seduction process for me. Great sex is not just “technique” … it involves passion, chemistry and a desire to please, etc.

    Red Scouser says: So let’s say SD and SB are looking for bedroom skills – how on earth does one ask prior to getting into bed? It seems a minefield? Do you agree that there’s no tactful way to ask?

    There are lots of tactful ways to bring up sex in a conversation. Ice breakers could range from subtle to more direct … talk about favorite movies and move the conversation to sexy scenes … tell him about the lingerie store you shopped at/walked by before your date … comment on the sexy woman in the restaurant … or mention sexual chemistry is important to you (when answering the question of what you are looking for in a SD relationship). Believe me, the conversation will turn sensual or sexual in short order and you can ascertain what you want to know.

    RealisticSD says: In my perhaps limited experience, the quality and quantity of sex depends on so many factors beyond just “skill”. Passion in the relationship, the emotional connection between the two people, the desire to please, one’s comfort with oneself and the other person, openness of communication, etc. all play huge rolls.

    Well said! No wonder all the SB here are swooning over you.

    SugaCaneBby says: Agreed. All of those things = not only better sex, but BEST sex.

    Best sex is a journey … not a destination.

    anonymous92019 says: SincereSD—let’s hope your first born is a girl.lol. (if not he will hate you forever!)

    Who cares what he thinks. 😛 With a hot mom like that, I’d be more concerned that he would develop an Oedipus complex.

    Btw I finally figured out what the numbers in you blog handle are … now if only I could figure out how to approach the waitress. i’ve lost some of my real life skills with this internet dating process.

  327. SincereSD says:

    Flo Rida says: PS Villa C and Sweety I may be heading to a F1 circuit in Europe – can’t say which one & I may drive the track – wooopie.

    Welcome back Flo Rida, we missed you. Here’s a racing tip for you to impress your SD for your track experience. Learn the track ahead of time by playing it on a Formula 1 game on a PC, PS3 or XBox. I used to race cars and travel around the Northeast to different tracks. Test drives on the PC were invaluable to me in memorizing the sequence of turns and reference points for turn-in and braking. Oh, have fun and be safe on the track.

  328. SugaCaneBby says:

    D-Dubs – She’s attempting to use you, definitely. If you’re not in an arrangement, she has no right to demand anything of you. Wish her good luck and keep searching.

  329. D-Dubs says:

    Alright…
    Another experience to run by you folks…

    Traveling for work (again) I meet with a nice young lady from the site. She comes to my hotel to meet in the lobby, we proceed to dinner, some wine, and a show. The place where we have dinner is in a mall area where we have to walk past many high end shops until we reach our destination. My date suggests we look in the stores. I suggest we don’t have much time to make dinner and our show (for which we had front row tickets to a well known comedian) and we could always shop another time. (btw, I hate shopping…more on that later).

    It seems we are connecting well and immediately. There is hand holding, hugging, and kissing throughout the night. Since I’ve been on too many of these first SB dates, I often try slow it down…at least in my mind…to be sure my date is initating intimacy at least as much as I am…and, that was definitely the case on what was a wonderful first date.

    Afterward the date, she declines to join me up in the room for a nightcap, and I am completely fine with that. I am in town for over two weeks, so there is no sense rushing anything. We make plans to meet the next morning, and in fact, helps me run an errand. I have to meet a client, so I agree to treat her to some spa time at my hotel while I’m gone. I get back…we have a nice lunch…and, some drinks…at the hotel and she joins me up in my room where we were to plan our evening.

    We lie down together, and some intimacy ensues…but, nothing much more than fully clothed hugs and kisses (which sometimes can be as enjoyable as sex…which is another story for another day). After only about 5 to 10 minutes of this…she stops to say she wants to go shopping at the aforementioned high-end mall…and protests that “I promised” to take her. Now, I probably did say we could go another time. I might even had said “tomorrow” the previous night. I was just trying to stay on schedule for our first evening.

    Besides, I hate shopping. Is there any guy who enjoys it? My problem is…I’m a good guy who has a hard time saying “no”. I have been trampled by an SB date a couple times before…dropping maybe 1k on a first date…and then have things not work out. I’m fine with spoiling. I just want to be sure we’re somewhat connected first.

    Anyway, I have some work yet to do anyway…and, she suggests she go it alone. I offer her about $200 to $250 to take with her. She is insulted. My feeling is I already treated her to about the same $200 to $250 at the spa on this day…and treated her first class the entire time we were together.

    I got a bad vibe that she was in it solely for money. She was cutting our intimacy time very short (I did nothing aggressively)…and, trying to hold me to a “promise” the night before about shopping. I decided to hold my ground and said I felt I was being generous enough for now. She handed the money back to me, and walked out of my room.

    We have texted a few times since. She says she would like to see me again but needs bills paid and shopping if its going to happen. When I asked what was in it for me…she said she didn’t feel comfortable being in my room so soon, and that if I wanted to take to dinner and shopping and help with her bills…she was okay with that. Where is the “mutually beneficial” part of that?

    Maybe I’m cheap. Maybe I was wrong. Or, maybe I was absolutely right and dodged a bullet with someone who saw me as an ATM and not an SD.

    Thoughts?

  330. Buttercup*381707 says:

    I agree with you taz NYgent makes a good point., im officially on the lookout for nyc gents., ive been searching locally mostly.,

    I cant wait til halloween,.itll actually be the first time i plan to dress up for a masquerade-as ive always taken my younger siblings out.,and was content with that.,

    i still cant manage to look for peoples profile using theiir numbers., im completely missing it hehe.,ughh., maybe tomorrow lol

  331. Taz says:

    NY Gent – That was my theory – New York is very close – unfortunately I have not yet come across a very open minded SD from NY..but I have hope lol! I would love to have a chance to experience New York – haha I would be a very grateful SB indeed! 😀

    BG – sorry I missed your message earlier :S you still around girl?

  332. anonymous92019 says:

    SugarDiplomat SD—As to your awkward, funny or embarrassing sb/sd moments?” That must’ve really been an ‘Oh Shit !’ moment. What did you say to him if I’m not being too nosey?

    NY Gent—That is very sweet and romantic the way you are treating your SB, BUT EastCoastFilly does have a vaild point.

    On the motion to clone NYGent and RealisticSD….Aye-F’in-Aye !!!

    NewTXSB—So sweet (you and RealisticSD) ….and mushy. lol

  333. Sweety~AKA BG*395953 says:

    GND~ that’s right, my mind is slow,… sorry… I’m sure it is a sight to see!
    I love Halloween!

  334. gurlnextdoor says:

    Sweety I’m in North Carolina lol, and the college town I was speaking of is Chapel Hill. If you ever go there on Halloween to Franklin Street you will know what I mean. The whole street closed and full of kids, parents, and a plethora of college kids in costumes. It’s a sight to see really, but I won’t be there this year unfortunately. But there is always next year. 😉

  335. Sweety~AKA BG*395953 says:

    Koi~ congrats girl, hope it works out for you! I love good sugar news 😀

  336. NewTXSB says:

    Thanks Koi!

    No plans for Halloween yet…

  337. Sweety~AKA BG*395953 says:

    GND~ I keep asking if you’re in Boston , are you????
    Halloween in Salem is awesome!

  338. Koi says:

    Hi AltNicole!

    I’m from Texas so I’ll probably head up to Austin for Halloween. Have you been there on Halloween?? It’s a ton of fun!!

  339. gurlnextdoor says:

    Hey AtlNicole, glad your weekend was fun. No plans for Halloween as I won’t be in my favourite college town to celebrate with all my friends. :( So I’ll just have to settle for this weekend when I’ll be celebrating my much anticipated birthday.

  340. Koi says:

    Hi everyone! Just got done catching up with the blog!

    Congrats to Realistic and NewTX on findind success!

    Now for the blog questions I feel I can answer:

    ***Do you take special precautions when dating a sugar daddy or sugar baby? If so, what are they?***
    Yes, I always tell my sister where I will be and who I will be with(Real name and user name)! We always meet in a public place! Restaurants usually. And I usually do the whole sending an “I’m safe!” text when I get there and in the middle of dinner, and towards conclusion. It’s good for them to know you are being watched over, too. Just in case they are someone who was planning on something evil!

    ***Do you have any upcoming dates with a sugar daddy or sugar baby? Care to share?***
    Yes! I have a date with an out of town pot tomorrow! He’s coming to spend a few days with me and I’m looking forward to it! I will let you all know how things progress.

    As for the other two pots I had mentioned on here. One is from another state, too, and I am still regularly texting/talking to. I’ll let you know where that leads. The other one turned out to be a dud. Took me “window shopping” and wanted to have sex before spoiling. So, we all get some wannabes, just be careful not to let them take advantage of you, ladies!

  341. AtlNicole says:

    Hello Sugars. hope everybody has had a lovely sugar-filled weekend. This weekend flew by. I was out in the middle of the most rural part of GA for a bonfire with some friends. It was fun. I can understand the stereotypes about the deep south a little bit better after meeting some of those folks.

    My SD is getting back from Vegas tomorrow. Hopefully I will get to see him sometime soon. My birthday is in 2 weeks, but most people make plans in advance for Halloween weekends. I dunno where i will end up. There are quite a few costume parties being planed around the city, but I have left costume shopping until the last minute, like always.

    Anyone here have exciting plans for this minor holiday?

  342. Sweety~AKA BG*395953 says:

    NewTXSB says:
    October 18, 2009 at 11:59 pm

    SugarDiplomatSD:
    So did you tell the husband she was your SB? How did the husband react? Sorry but wow….I can’t even imagine that conversation..

    That is awful isn’t it? I can’t think of how that whole situation went down,,,, unbelievable !!!

  343. NewTXSB says:

    SugarDiplomatSD:
    So did you tell the husband she was your SB? How did the husband react? Sorry but wow….I can’t even imagine that conversation..

  344. Sweety~AKA BG*395953 says:

    SugarDiplomat SD~ Wow, I think that would be very awkward!!! To have the husband call you….

  345. NewTXSB says:

    Flo Rida:
    Very happy to see you back! I love reading your posts… :) You should be getting mail from me tomorrow….

  346. gurlnextdoor says:

    Yes NewTXSB, I’m not looking for a BFE. I’m just looking for a lover to provide me with the sexual and emotional intimacy I crave from time to time. Even with a boyfriend though, I doubt that craving will go away, might even intensify and benefit both my relationships. 😉

    Well talking to pot SD now, going to try to multi task here, lol.

  347. NewTXSB says:

    Thanks for the well wishes guys.

    Gah…now I’m a little embarrased by all the mushy stuff….I wish I could edit my post! *blush*

    On a total side note: Finally the humidity is gone here! :)

  348. anonymous92019 says:

    Red Scouser—I wasnt offended with your PDST comments. Just adding my two cents (which are like A-holes….everybody has one. lol)

    Sorry about the war talk FloRida….will try to keep it out of sugar topics in the future *wink*

    GurlNxtDoor—I liked your comment to RealisticSD’s comment. The relationship line does have a greater change of getting blurred if the SD is single. Once emotions are involved the SD may want a BF/GF relationship and that’s when things get messy and uncomfortable.

    NYGent—I wasnt going to chime in on the subject of SD’s replying vs. not replying to cold call emails because I can kinda understand the SB’s view although my personal view is exactly the same as yours.

    When I’m going through profiles, I basically have a 3 step process. (1) I send a general e-mail out to the ones that look compatible. (2) If I get a serious response then I will reply with a more personalized email…and see what happens from there. (3) The guys that open the email, but dont reply I keep them in my outbox (so I dont resend them the same e-mail…which would be embarassing.lol) Although I appreciate the responses of ‘youre cute, sexy, or whatever…but too far way (which in my opinion is just a polite way of saying you’re not my type), it just makes me feel obligated to then send them another email thanking them for replying. Which is basically a big waste of time for someone who isnt even insterested in me!

    NYC SB—All I can say about running into the ex SD (i didnt know the details before) is AWKWARD!

  349. NYGent says:

    yeah, finally figured out, thanks.

  350. Sweety~AKA BG*395953 says:

    Ms Behavin~ Glad you got it girl!!!

    NewTXSB~ it has to work for you, that is all that matters… Good for you!

  351. Ms Behavin~389197 says:

    NewTXSB~ sooo sweet. if it works for both of you go for it girl!!!!

  352. NewTXSB says:

    Wow…so many different topics to catch up on.

    On the topic of how many times you see each other:

    As RealisticSD already mentioned, we saw each other 4x last week. Planning on meeting again tomorrow and I can’t wait! :) There are a few reasons why our situation is perfect to us:

    1) He wants a GFE and I want a BFE.
    2) He’s married so even though we do text each other….his ability to text/call/chat is very limited since he needs to be very discrete.
    3) Due to him being married, it’s not like we can spend an entire day together or he can spend the night. When we see each other, it’s usually for 2-3 hours and believe me, that 2-3 hours flies by FAST. :(
    4) I’m single and not interested in getting a BF anytime soon….so for me, being able to see SD 3-4x/wk is great b/c currently he really is the only man in my life.
    5) He’s hilarious to listen to. And he makes me feel like a princess. Although I know my limits in this relationship, for me, I want to be to spend as much time as possible with this amazing man I somehow managed to find.

    So yea…I’ll stop being mushy now! :)

    I guess at the end, what makes a difference is what a SD/SB wants. Some people are perfectly happy with seeing someone 2-3x/month…so if it works for them..then why not. :)

  353. Ms Behavin~389197 says:

    Sweety~ after you post I tried to look up some one. Now I know how it works thanks!!

  354. Sweety~AKA BG*395953 says:

    NYGent~ did you get it?

  355. NewTXSB says:

    “NYGent says:
    No response = not interested. Don’t take it personally but don’t try to turn it into some major societal lack of manners.”

    I agree with this statement. I e-mailed plenty of SD’s who never responded but read my message. I received quite a few e-mails but I didn’t bother to respond b/c I wasn’t interested. I never got my feelings hurt or analyzed the reasons behind why a SD didn’t respond. I moved on.

    On the topic of having pics up, as RealisticSD already stated, I don’t have my face pics up but I did e-mail them to potential SD’s usually after the initial message. I don’t think SBs are any less deserving of discretion than SDs. There’s no guarantte that no one I know IRL isn’t on here….so I wouldn’t want someone who knew me IRL to find me on here and then judge me. Or have it somehow go back to my family. I may not be a rich, powerful, well known “man”….but that doesn’t mean that I want to take the risk of having a “reputation” IRL with my friends/co workers/family.

  356. Sweety~AKA BG*395953 says:

    NYC SB~ you didn’t mail me about the shoes?!?!? are they all that?

  357. RealisticSD says:

    Flo Rida, I guess you’re right. I’ve kissed many people whom I’ve ended up not sleeping with, including some SBs I eventually decided I didn’t want to have sex with despite the opportunity being there. But in such cases, there were other issues at play, not just the lack of sexual desire.

  358. gurlnextdoor says:

    Ugh, RealisticSD your gonna make me sick with all your mushiness! Lol, just kidding I think you two (you and NewTXSB) are so cute together. :)

    I didn’t take your statements as criticism and everyone is entitled to their opinion. But seeing as I plan to possibly pursue a more traditional relationship while being with my SD, I think seeing each other 2-3 times a month would work out fine. He’s done this before so I guess he knows what’s doable for him. Now if later he changes it to wanting to see each other maybe twice a week, that’d be fine with me too as long as he respects that I do have a life outside of him.

  359. Sweety~AKA BG*395953 says:

    NYGent~ in the bar at the top of the window, that is where you change in the number,,, I think it’s called the task bar?

  360. RealisticSD says:

    I’m not being critical of anyone else’s relationship. I gather I am more needy perhaps than the average SD. But I’m lucky because it appears that my new SB and I are on the same page.

  361. NYGent says:

    sweety: I dunno, i try it but when i go into a profile and try to sub in a number nothing allows me to do it. i must be doing something wrong . . .

  362. gurlnextdoor says:

    Well Realistic it was his idea not mine, lol. I’d be fine with 1-2 times a week, wouldn’t bother me much at all, but more than that I dunno. I don’t want to get so involved with a SD that it starts to seem like a traditional relationship. But 2-3 times a month works as well for me. Maybe it will turn out to be more, one never knows….

  363. NYGent says:

    realistic: i have considered the multiple SB thing, but it’s just too exhausting and i like to have one SB who I can think about in between visits, it gets the anticipation and juices flowing. But if you can handle more than one at a time I say more power to you . . .

  364. RealisticSD says:

    Ms Behavin, if I was a regular traveller, I’d love to have an SB in the city I travel to regularly, even if it meant I wouldn’t see her that often.

  365. Sweety~AKA BG*395953 says:

    NYGent~ to view an SBs profile from a # , open any profile of an SB, in the bar thingy at the top change the last # with the one of the SB that you want to see!
    if it’s an SD you open an SD profile

  366. RealisticSD says:

    OK, if I had an SB I saw twice a month, chances are I’d look for a second or even a third SB for another two or three times a month each. Been there in fact, but then I got tired of too many SBs, plus I realized I didn’t like any of them that much. I’m much happier now :)

  367. NYGent says:

    I am blushing a little at some of these comments, which are very sweet. . .

    btw i never did figure out how to see somebody’s profile with their number — somebody said go to your preview profile and sub in the member’s number for your own, but nothing in that procedure when i try that seems to allow for that. I am perhaps not very adept at techno stuff though . . .

  368. Sweety~AKA BG*395953 says:

    Ms Behavin~ yes! 😛

    Ok I’m a little frisky tonight sorry all!

  369. CrèmeBruléeNY says:

    Glad to see peace was restored here..

    NYCSB – Precisely when will you fit time in your schedule for this little cloning experiment? Might you need some assitance?

  370. Ms Behavin~389197 says:

    I think we would all go to the end of the world to see NYGent :)

  371. gurlnextdoor says:

    Sweety, I’m with you on not liking winter, lol. I’m trying to find my way to Miami sometime this winter to escape the cold like I did last spring. :)

  372. Sweety~AKA BG*395953 says:

    NYGent~ Taz is in canada too..

  373. NYGent says:

    sweety: sorry, I thought Taz was Canadian, if you are too more power to you . . .

  374. Ms Behavin~389197 says:

    I do see a SD that lives in another state but travels this area for biz. I see him every couple of weeks,so we text and IM to keep in touch. Sometimes a little naught text keeps him going ( blushing).

  375. Sweety~AKA BG*395953 says:

    NYGent~ NYC isn’t that far,,,, would gladly go see you 😀 hahhah

  376. Sweety~AKA BG*395953 says:

    Flo Rida~ No , I am not too big on winter! But I went to plenty of F1 races,,, hope they will be back next year, it’s sad that we lost them!
    I have wanted to mail you, glad your back

  377. gurlnextdoor says:

    For me RealisticSD, I guess the fact that I’m a textaholic and addicted to instant messaging, seeing someone 2-3 times a month isn’t a problem. Plus I get bored if I see someone constantly, so the waiting a week or a week and a half in between visits makes things more interesting for me. Plus there’s no rule that says there can’t be any spontaneous get-togethers. Spontaneity is the spice of life. 😉

  378. Flo Rida says:

    Buttercup – go with what your feelings tell you – if you like him it may be worth a trial but cut him loose if it’s not working for you.

    Sweety – good 2 b back – have you ice skated the montreal F1 circuit in wintertime?

    RealisticSD – I disagree with one of your commets which is a kiss is more intimate than sex – some of my friends are kissing whores but have had 1-3 partners in their lives and only sleep with guys are 6-12 months (25 -33 year old crowd). Passionate kissing doesn’t necessarily mean sleeping with some women. I think you and NYGent are too kind but I admire this.

    NYC SB – hope your weekend (?) off was restive.

  379. NYC SB says:

    Hi Flo – rested some partied some … good mix…

  380. NYC SB says:

    *Ask blah

  381. Sweety~AKA BG*395953 says:

    NYGent~ you speak french??? i’m the one in Montreal!

    NYC SB~ get out…… ahhhhhhh are they great?
    mail me …. I need to know??

  382. NYC SB says:

    oh realistic – i beg to differ… what if she emailed you sweet nothings… trust me… it made up for some very intense encounters when i wouldnt see him for 2 weeks… just as my doorstep :p

  383. NYGent says:

    realistic: twice a month is not enough, agreed. 3-4 is minimum and 5-6 is optimum if you’re into each other. More than that is borderline “amore.”

  384. RealisticSD says:

    Personally, if I saw someone twice a month, I’d suffer the “out of sight, out of mind” syndrome. By two weeks, I’d more or less forget about them. I guess if there is enough texting/talking and that sort of thing, the interest can be kept fresh, but otherwise I get bored and start looking for someone else to keep me entertained. And no, I don’t just mean sexually.

  385. NYGent says:

    wow realistic (and newTX) that is so great, I hope it works out. C’est l’amour, peut-etre?! C’est possible? Bonne chance!

  386. NYGent says:

    Taz, if you are in MOntreal or Toronto that’s a very short (and fairly cheap) plane ride from NYC area. Yes, it’s more of an inconvenience compared to somebody in the area but not a deal-killer in the way that, say, NYC vs. Seattle or Phoenix would be.

  387. NYC SB says:

    the best SD relationship I have ever had has been “we see each other when we can” which really meant lets see each other once a week but if one of us is too busy no big deal… and if we both are free and want to see each other then we would… this is with the gift SD i ran into last night… the missing each other and emailing ideas for our next get together made the anticipation so much more intense … what fun we had

    Hi Sweety – How are you doll? I got my louboutins in 😀 (well 2 pairs of them)

  388. gurlnextdoor says:

    Well RealisticSD for every rule there are one or two exceptions, and I’m sure you two are definitely an exception. :)

  389. RealisticSD says:

    OK, I guess NewTXSB and I have broken the rules of sugar-dating, seeing each other four times between Tuesday and Friday and planning on seeing each other tomorrow as well. But we just miss each other that much, I suppose.

  390. gurlnextdoor says:

    AYE! Let the cloning begin! lol

  391. NYGent says:

    taz; no specific agreement at 6 times/month but it is just sort of working out to that . .. . we said once a week “or so” which more or less equates to 1 1/2 times a week. If I started pressing her for 2X a week she would balk, and if she started limiting us to once every two weeks I would balk, so we are in a sort of happy medium for the time being. Of course the big issue between us still remains and I have spoken to that (probably too much) on this blog already . . .

  392. RealisticSD says:

    Taz, that’s why you should be able to search both by zip code/distance and by cities, the latter for those interested in longer-distance or traveling SBs. If I traveled more regularly or was not married, I’d give a long-distance SB more thought, but with my current schedule it would never work.

  393. Taz says:

    Great point Realistic – my problem is that I am 3.5 hours away from the only city that would probably get hits. I could put an American city I am closer to but that is not right IMO..since I am from Canada?

  394. RealisticSD says:

    Taz, I agree that the time is wasted, but only in the sense of not using that time for a more fruitful relationship. But I have learned so much from the worst SBs I’ve met. They have opened my eyes to elements of human nature and subcultures within our society I would have never given thought to. I think they were well worth the time and money.

  395. Anna Molly says:

    AYE! AYE!

  396. gurlnextdoor says:

    NYCSB I agree, 2-3 times a week is a bit much. To me that’s how much I’d want to see a boyfriend in a given week, not a SD. And if that’s how much he did want to see me I’d definitely up the allowance from $2k, but that’s me. With that said, the potential I’m talking to said 2-3 times a month is good for him and to me that’s perfect. But I guess every arrangement is different.

  397. Sweety~AKA BG*395953 says:

    NYGent~ I am in agreement there! it is more fun, the anticipation …. ahhh

  398. Taz says:

    NY Gent – so you two came upon an agreement of 6 times a month? I know there was some uneasiness for you there…

  399. Buttercup says:

    nygent – im working on the ceiling., might take some time-but anything worth having is worth waiting for right? I guess that phrase overlaps with Realistics case,. i hope it works out hun:)

    nycsb- it is alot of time- im hoping to stay solid at 1 or2days/w.,,when time permits- i think he’s more able to spend more time bcus the nature of his career permits., but i still hv school/and work responsibilities.,

  400. NYGent says:

    NYC SG couldn’t agree more: anything more than 1 1/2 times a week (3 times in 2 weeks, or 6 times in a month) is too much for these types of arrangements. The whole point is to distinguish from the ho-hum, everyday spousal or bf/gf relationship which leads to drama, arguments, etc. The point is to keep it fresh and maintain a leval of anticipation where you just can’t wait to see your sugar after a week or so of absence (er, abstinence!), which really does make the heart grow fonder!. Much as I miss my SB between get-togethers and would love to see more of her, I recognize it would likely be counterproductive so I just don’t press for more time.

  401. RealisticSD says:

    I have a comment about locations. I have noticed that a lot of SBs put their actual town of residence when they live in a suburb, even though putting the name of the larger city they live by would likely get noticed much more in searches. I live in a large metropolitan city with maybe 30 or more cities within a 30-45 min drive. I wouldn’t search for every city around here, so if they put some dinky suburban town as their place of residence, I’d never find them in a search.

    I am not sure why SA doesn’t use zip codes in addition to city names and allow you to search within x miles of your zip code plus by city name.

  402. Taz says:

    BG – getting any local emails today???

  403. Sweety~AKA BG*395953 says:

    NYC SB~~~ AYE AYE AYE!!! lol how are you girl?

  404. Ms Behavin~389197 says:

    AYE !!!

  405. NYC SB says:

    Hey SBs – motion to clone NYGent and RealisticSD lol all in favor say aye

  406. Sweety~AKA BG*395953 says:

    Taz~ I so agree with you!!!

  407. Taz says:

    Aye Aye!!!!

  408. gurlnextdoor says:

    Thanks for the compliment NYGent. :)

    Lol I was reading the SA book on my laptop and so now I need to catch up on the blog again.

  409. Taz says:

    Agreed NYGent – and it is up to us to use our better judgment and gut instinct…which is sometimes clouded when hormones come into play – but that is what we are here on the blog for 😉 to keep each other straight lol!

    I personally don’t think either gender is ‘worse’ but really wish the fakes would just go to a site of their own 😉

  410. NYGent says:

    RealisticSD: believe me, I’ve seen plenty of ploys and even been victimized by a couple. I could easily write a book (Or an anonymous New Yorker article) on the SBs who will do/say anything for a quick few bucks or pair of Jimmy Choo’s or Chanel Bag, thinking nothing of the hurt they incur when they drop you for the next gullible schmuck and $$ score. The counterpart is the totally insincere SD who looks for a quick score and gets it from hopeful but gullible SBs who are desperate for a steady allowance and give it up early with no commitment in place, only to never hear from the guy again. There are phonies and fakers and users on both ends, male and female, and it is useless to debate which gender is “worse.” In the end everything comes down to indidivuals.

  411. Taz says:

    If I was a SD (I suppose I would be an SM lol) – I would be most worried about the TIME I spent, rather than the $ spent. Time is the most precious thing we have – money can be replaced.

  412. Sweety~AKA BG*395953 says:

    Hello sugars!!!

    Flo Rida~ girl i’m glad your back!

    NYGent~ you are very gentleman like with your new SB, hope it works out for you!!!

  413. RealisticSD says:

    I have debated the whole allowance thing in my mind and finally concluded what NYGent said–you can’t take the money with you, the SB needs it more than I do, and I’d rather show her what I have to offer up front. If, despite my being up-front and generous, she can’t make me happy over the course of several weeks, then I move on. The reality is that for a real SD, the allowance is not painful to part with. If an SB’s yearly allowance were to disappear from my bank accounts without a trace and without my knowing, I’d never notice the money missing, so why sweat a couple of months worth of allowance? Granted, it is not good to feel used.

  414. Ms Behavin~389197 says:

    I’m in
    I’ll bring wine:)

  415. Taz says:

    Thank you so much NY Gent – I happen to have very fond feelings for most everyone here on the blog as well :) And I do agree a sugar get-together would be a lot of fun! 😉

  416. NYC SB says:

    for the record – 2/3 times a week to spend with an SD in my opinion is too much… 2 times might be doable but not every weekend… i appreciate having my own life… too much sugar can ruin the fantasy

  417. RealisticSD says:

    With my Drama Queen SB, she claimed she had a “phobia” of sex where she would shake uncontrollably when sex came up. I was OK with that, hoping that as her life situation changed, her phobia would too, even though I knew that it might take a long time for that to happen. But soon enough I figured out that her so-called phobia was just a ploy by her BF who was basically pimping her out instead of getting a job himself but who did not want to see her sleeping with anyone else.

  418. NYC SB says:

    NYGent – i have a photographic memory… blushing now… its a blessing and a curse

  419. NYGent says:

    buttercup: sounds like you’re playing it just right, stay the course! besides which you’ve got him at 2K not the 1K low end of his range he posted. So that’s the floor, now just work on the ceiling . . .

  420. NYGent says:

    RealisticeSD: what is with you and Taz and NYc Sb, you don’t forget anything, are always entirely reasonable, and not just into getting but giving advice? Maybe we ought to go out as a foursome some time (jk)

  421. RealisticSD says:

    Assuming they’re attractive, I think that SBs posting their pictures will help them generate more hits. I have come to see face-only pictures are a sign that the SB will be overweight unless they have selected slim as their body type. I also have found that the definition of “slim” is highly cultural, and in some ethnic groups what is considered slim I would consider more “average” (granted that average now is probably 200 lbs in the U.S.). That all having been said, my current SB has only a picture of her closed eyes, but it is a very telling picture and was enough for me to deduce that she was likely good looking, and she quickly e-mailed me pictures, saying that she did not want to waste time if I found her unattractive, which I obviously didn’t.

    As for NYGent, I would likely do the same thing as him in the same situation. She is absolutely beautiful and somewhat of a challenge, and we all end up putting more effort into challenging situations, even though we realize that the chances of getting burned are there. Plus, from what I remember, she kisses him passionately, and many in our culture would say that kissing passionately is more intimate than sex. Indeed, many prostitutes, unless they’re offering GFE, will not kiss for that reason. If she can kiss him with passion, she can definitely sleep with him.

  422. Anna Molly says:

    NYGent
    If it doesn’t work out let me know…I like older men. Hubby is 15 years older than me. You seem like a nice guy so I’m wishing you good luck as I’m sure you’re not into married women :)

  423. NYGent says:

    well flo rida you are nothing if not honest and i appreciate the concern. No offense taken. Maybe I am just a little more patient than others esp. regarding someone who is literally one in a million/trillion. As I say, a couple months’ allowance is sort of a drop in the bucket for me and I wouldn’t want to lose a tremendous opportunity over being Ebeneezer Scrooge. If in a month or so from now I conclude I’m being played for a a chump then it’s on to the other SBs on the site!

  424. Ms Behavin~389197 says:

    why oh why are there not more like NYCGent???

  425. NYGent says:

    thanks Flo Rida. You are right but she is a very “young” 22 (some 22’s are much more savvy) and I just don’t think it would ever occur to her to do/offer something like that. It’s only money, you can’t take it with you, so I’m not too hung up on wasting a couple months’ allowance if it turns out to be a waste — and even if it does it will have been, in many ways, worth it. It is always difficult to know “when to fold ’em” and my only regret, should it turn out that I was too kind, is the time lost in pursuing other great SBs including but not limited to (that’s a lawyer’s phrase, per my profession) the ones on this blog.

  426. Buttercup says:

    SugaCaneBby says: What about this dillema: Men who write YOU, you respond, and never hear from them again. They read your message expressing mutual interest and they just *poof*. Still log on and everything. -_____-;;;
    ————————————————————————————
    Good point flo Rida, and its so true-honestly i could probably open a cirus with all the disappearing acts im recieving hehe.,
    _________________
    Get better soon lisa :)
    And i get what your saying hun, common courtesy is nice- but unfortunetly it doesnt always happens- i say- never cry over spilled milk-i just get another glass.,
    _____________
    SugaCaneBby says: “I am getting favorited though…from men in California and that’s miffing me.”

    I second that, im not sure if i just wait til they decide to msg, or if i can take initiative and write–the way i justify it in my head is that– ohh maybe they were in a huryy..no worries, ill say hi [only if im interested as well ofcourse],. lol.,, in my defence-its the disney channels fault& my parents for making me watch hehe

    UPdates; i talked to my pot SD; although hes very determined to stay at 2k [i always did say i liked a men that can stand his ground :(] i decided to approach him from my standpoint..our compromise is that the inital stage of the arrangmnt is basically just friendship, dates to business meetings etc.,

  427. Flo Rida says:

    Taz – thanks babe! glad to be back – missed everyone.

  428. EastCoastFilly says:

    I don’t agree with all SBs putting up their pic. I need discretion for many reasons which I won’t post but I have a couple body shots from the neck down. I very quickly send a face pic as a follow up and if I don’t hear back who cares. I would never feel comfortable with people in my small town knowing I am on here as my reasons for being on here are quite unique. Anyway….

    NYCGent I really have to ask what is the appeal of dating someone you know isn’t comfortable with sleeping with you because of your age and hoping they will come around. I would find it insulting if someone was waiting for me to grow on them. Its almost like when a man falls for a woman that is too fat for his liking but he loves her personality and when he tries to sleep with her the weight repulses him in turn making her feel so low. I’ve seen this happen and it breaks my heart to see someone hurt like this. I am sure there are many attractive SBs who would jump on the chance to be intimate with you so why waste your time and money on someone who may not be attracted to you? Sorry, but I’m just trying to understand the mind set? Hope I didn’t offend you.

  429. Flo Rida says:

    NYGent – you’re too kind. A classier move on her part (not yours) would be to place a portion of the $10k in escrow returnable to you. clearly this is something she should suggest and not you but I don’t like it when people unfair. My SD offered me a $1-5k per month ‘hang out’ allowance which I declined saying ‘hey i’d date you in real life – just keep the gifts coming’. Anyway a tiered allowance seems more in order – bit too late to mention though.

  430. NYGent says:

    apologies to gurlnextdoor and Flo Rida for the misspells. btw can’t they offer a spell check on this site?!

  431. NYGent says:

    Taz: i have yet to see a post from you that does not make eminent sense! You and NYC SB and girnextdoor and gemini and sugarcane (and the dearly departed Koi, where is she?), not to mention the “retired” Flor Ida make this blog a place where SDs want to be!

  432. gurlnextdoor says:

    Aww NYCGent, how sweet. The name fits you well. :)

  433. NYGent says:

    NYC SB: thanks for your interest, you are such a keen observer on this site and have a memory like an elephant (to quote an old cliche).

    The answer is we are getting along quite well, she likes me (and vice versa) and we have a good time together. She is quite young and appreciates me opening her world to a variety of things she has never seen or experienced. That said, after 3 dates (and a couple more planned), there is still a chance that she will not ever be able to consummate the relationship. I’m no toad, I’m reasonably cute for my (+45) age, but it is a pretty big age diff which I’m sure weighs on her mind. I’ve been very generous in terms of fronting her allowance and buying her gifts, making clear that there is no immediate quid pro quo and that she is (in my words) “worth waiting for.” She has expressly thanked me for being “so patient.” If I thought she was just gaming me to get a quick score of ten grand (two month’s allowance) and then dumping me without having achieved any intimacy, I would end it, but I trust her and I am giving her the benefit of the doubt of acting in good faith so far. Plus as corny as it sounds, it is worth it to me so far just to be with and look at her, she is that stunning! If in say another month it’s clear that she’s not ever gonna be willing to reciprocate in the way SBs normally do, I will reassess, but for the time being I’m happy to keep it going.

  434. gurlnextdoor says:

    NYGent that is a valid argument. For my profile I have up one pic, and it’s a face pic. Used to have more, but deleted them as I didn’t like them once I looked at them more, but I digress. I think all SBs should have pics up of their faces at least, even if it’s one where her face is half hidden. Profiles with pictures get alot more views than those lacking pictures and on a site like SA where there are like 200 SBs for every SD, that would seem like a good investment to me.

    As for SDs, well I can see why they may not have their pics up. Maybe they don’t for want someone to see them on the site since it would hurt their reputation. For the most part, I think they have more to loose. Also I’m not put off by a SD not having a picture up. The potential I’m talking to now didn’t have one up, but he did send me a picture after we emailed each other a bit.

  435. SugaCaneBby says:

    Not arguing, but ALL correspondences start out as cold-calls. And I truly ponder what to say in intial emails so as not to seem “canned”. I ask questions to start conversations, and make sure they truly know that I’m interested in THEM (and I NEVER contact anyone who I know has stated that they would be against speaking to one as myself. Hell, I deleted half of my favorites because just from examining their pictures and more importantly who they had posing with them in pics, I deducted that I would not be their type). I make sure to mention some things I believe we have in common and…that’s it. I wasn’t so much saying that I require an email saying “Thanks, but no thanks”, but it would be nice. *shrug* Just expressing a mild frustration that I’m sure we all share. I by no means take their rejection personally as they are complete strangers nor do I look at their silence as failure on my part.

    That’s the last two cents I have on the subject since it seems to be incindiary. :S

  436. Taz says:

    NY Gent – I do agree with posting pics…makes it much easier to respond or to choose not to respond without outwardly hurting anyone’s feelings. However, I also understand the need for discretion…

  437. Taz says:

    Flo Rider – Glad to see you back!!

    Everyone – I have to confess – I also delete without responding sometimes. I am busy – you are busy – we are all busy. If I don’t interest someone then I don’t. I ‘may’ be a little disappointed if I was very interested and put a lot of thought into the email, but c’est la vie!! NEXT! (lol trust me there is a lot of rejection looking for a long distance SD) We all have feelings but I also think that online dating in general requires a person to be more thick skinned as there can be a lot of rejection involved. Just my $0.02 :)

  438. Flo Rida says:

    New SB in SB – alright i’m game for a round of storytelling. so i’m at antik and I meet a lawyer friend and a playboy model who’s super gorgeous. They start making out & eventually I meet the playmate and ask her if she’s dating mr lawyer & she says ‘i don’t know’ & I think what has the world come to that a playmate isn’t sure of her relationship status. Anyway no drama, but the girls go to the restroom where some of them take E and I hear playmate hurl (she wasn’t drunk it was a weight control thing). So she cleans herself up & takes some mouthwash & goes back out & continues making our with mr. lawyer. Now i’m cracking up & telling everyone BUT mr lawyer & we all egg him on & encourage them both. Over brunch the next day we tell him & he’s pissed but promised to get me back (which he will – hey i’m a party girl). Awkward – maybe, hilarious – yes – maybe I was wrong to do this but I run in a crazy krewe & they’ve done far worse to me. ciao peeps.

  439. SugarDiplomat SD says:

    New SB in SB said: “Would some of you be willing to share most awkward, funny or embarrassing sb/sd moments?”

    Sure, here’s one: With my previous SB we would send flirty text messages to each other on a daily basis, in addition to the phone calls, to keep it fresh between the days when seeing each other in person.

    Until one day when I get a call from an Army Captain who tells me his name, rank, where he is stationed, etc… – before adding that he is my SB’s husband, and asking me just how well I know his wife.

    My previous SB had forgot to tell me that she was married, and she had apparently also forgot to disclose her extra-marital activities to her hubby as well. He had sneaked a peak at her phone and found some of our text messages to each other, which was also how he got my number and decided to call me.

    That was awkward.

    But it wasn’t the deal breaker and we still kept our arrangement going for some five more months, after I confronted her with the awkward call and we had a talk about it. (It was other things that later caused me to end it.)

  440. gurlnextdoor says:

    Well in my experience I’ve only had about three SDs reply to me with emails that warranted a response. The rest were either one liners, generic emails, or something along the lines of “let’s fuck”. Actually one of my past potentials sent me a one liner and the ONLY reason I responded was because it was a question that piqued my curiosity and his profile was well written. Other than that, I usually just read them and hit delete.

  441. NYGent says:

    East coast filly: you have hit the nail on the head in terms of why it’s important to post pictures, including full face pix, on the site. Of course I understand there are people who for discretion purposes (because they are famous or semi-famous or can’t afford business colleagues, relatives or spouses to know that they are on the site) don’t want to post pix (but how many SBs really fall in that cateogory?). The problem with not posting pix is then the other person says, “you’re interesting, but pls send me pix”), and then the pic-less person send pix, and the other person says “ewww, no way” and then what is that person supposed to do? Respond by saying, “now that I’ve seen your pics I’m no longer interested?” Who does that help? I advocate all members sucking it up and posting full pics unless discretion absolutely mandates against it. Just saves a lot of time, aggravation, etc.

  442. lisa says:

    If a recieve a obscene email or a one word email, I will delete because that person is sending the same message to every sb they can find whereas any sd that takes the time to write out an email with some substance deserves some type of response. If there is something obvious that wouldnt’ work, I say it, like distance, schedules, etc. If I don’t find anything wrong, I will respond back with questions and ask them to feel free to ask me questions. Usually I don’t hear back from them because they weren’t serious to begin with or whatever, but at least I wasn’t the one that was rude.

  443. NYC SB says:

    NYGEnt – how is it going with your lovely SB?

  444. NYGent says:

    lisa i will amend my position to say that yes, if I get a highly personalized, intelligent email from somebody, even if a cold call, I will (or at least should) try to respond with a polite not interested response. I think we are at least in agreement on that . . .

  445. EastCoastFilly says:

    typo: “telling a man”
    I’m thinking faster than my fingers can type 😉

  446. NYGent says:

    and I will add NYC SB and SugaCanebaby to the list of people who are reasonable and realistic about the lack of need to respond to complete cold calls (and SugaCane you’re right, the “grow up” line was a bit harsh, sorry).

    Again, I emphasize that cold calls are entirely different from situations where you start to engage in emails with somebody then drop them without explanation. A gentleman will not do the latter.

  447. EastCoastFilly says:

    NYC SB…Exactly!! LOL.

    Its really uncomfortable telling a an you did not like his pic after he sends it. I only had one guy get aggressive other than that they understand when I send a very nice response.

    Lets face it we can’t all appeal to everyone. One of my male friends thinks quite a few famous women whom I find drop dead gorgeous to be butt ugly..his words. So if a few SDs don’t like me….eh?

  448. Nico says:

    Lisa – you’ll have to pardon me here but you know I don’t play ‘sides’…for that matter I don’t ‘play’. I am going to hope that your cynical mode is a continuance of your drug induced state.

    You’re welcome to think what you want when it comes to responding to (or not responding to) an e-mail but I don’t think insinuating NYGent (or anybody else that might agree with his position) is a snoot is uncalled for.

  449. lisa says:

    As long as they dont send an offensive email, or a let’s meet now email, I try to respond to any well worded, interesting sounding message, even to decline.

  450. SugaCaneBby says:

    No hurt feelings here (except for being told to grow up, that as harsh). My mistake for misinterpreting how things should work as far as initial messaging. I get it now and I’ll remember.

  451. NYC SB says:

    i do not reply to emails that do not interest me… in my opinion if you do they think they can persuade you to like them… and then its just a vicious cycle of getting them to leave you alone…

  452. NYGent says:

    girlnext door and eastcoast filly: thanks and glad to see there are some on the site who don’t get all “huffy” because a total stranger they email out of the blue doesn’t respond with an explanation why they’re not interested, and glad to see you can see the difference between this passive non-response and “splashing” somebody with dirty muddy water at a bus stop, a totally ridiculous analogy offered by someone else on the site . . .

  453. SugaCaneBby says:

    NYGent – Ouch.

  454. lisa says:

    Well excuse me. So glad my SD isn’t a snoot

    Now back to my theraflu latte

  455. EastCoastFilly says:

    NYGent I actually agree with you. I understand feelings get hurt but it is what it is. I have emailed my pics to lots and never heard back. It obviously means they don’t like my face, so what. IRL dating when a guy doesn’t call you after a date, he didn’t lose my #, he isn’t busy and he isn’t too scared to call. He just wasn’t into me, period. Same goes here if they don’t respond who cares. You really can’t take it personally, they dont’ even know you. I’ll usually ignore an email if its rude, sexual or just plain canned but when I do get one that they obviously took the time to write to me or it made me laugh sometimes I will respond kindly but I am under no obligation to do so. Sometimes that has backfired they assume since I did respond that I am playing hard to get so they email again. Sometimes silence is the best thing. I think most women need closure, quite frankly I never did. If you don’t want me I really don’t care why, it doesn’t matter And I believe most men are the same way. They don’t want to now why or care why and don’t want to be rejected. To them silence is golden.

    Also another reason which I have encountered is some days you get too many emails and then you have to decide who to answer. I feel its best to just not answer in case you want to revisit them on another day if your first pick did not respond. More than likely if you don’t answer in a day or two they won’t respond when you get back to them in a week but its better than emailing and saying hey I like you but your #2, hang on for a few days and if joe schmo #1 doesn’t like me, I’m all yours, LOL.

  456. gurlnextdoor says:

    NYC SB yes I can see how that would be very awkward, lol.

    NYGent, I must say that I don’t reply to every email I get unless 1) they interest me, 2) in the email it asks “wanna have sex” or something along those lines (and then I reply with something sarcastic) or 3) they keep emailing me after I say I’m not interested. Other than that I don’t reply and I expect them to get the hint. Speaking of replies, the guy with the “ebony” fetish emailed me yesterday. Very, very weird.

  457. NYGent says:

    lisa: your analogy is so totally far afield and off base that it doesn’t deserve a response. splashing somebody is an affirmative act of aggression. not responding to a cold call is 100% different and you know it. it is different if somebody initially responds to an email on the site, leads the person on, then poofs. You should at least have the courtesy to respond in that circumstance. But as for an “obligation” to respond to unsolicited emails, sorry, don’t buy it.

  458. Perhaps we should change the tone of this blog…I’m gettng some negative vibes here…

    I think NYC SB has something here…btw, thank you for sharing and I hope you know I mean well. Would some of you be willing to share most awkward, funny or embarrassing sb/sd moments?

  459. lisa says:

    NYGent : you sound like the type of person who would splash a person at a bus stop because you were in too big of a hurry to get somewhere to have the courtesy to slow down.

  460. NYC SB says:

    what was weird about running into my lovely ex gift sd…. it was his bday and he was celebrating it with his wife and friends… i happened to be there with my friends… just very weird running into him like that … and meeting his wife… eeek lol

  461. NYGent says:

    I will probably catch flack for this but IMO there is absolutely zero obligation, from a “common courtesy” standpoint or otherwise, for either a SB or an SD to respond to an unsolicited email from someone who does not interest you. Any more than there’s an obligation to respond to some pre-recorded, cold call, automatic phone call. We are all busy and why is it so hard to understand that if you email somebody out of the blue, especially if your profiles don’t match, and they don’t respond it means they’re not interested for whatever reason? Just like I don’t respond to phone messages asking me to please call about my mortgage rate, my telephone service, my whatever. I email lots of SBs who I know open the message, do not respond, and i don’t go off pouting and whining about “why won’t they give me the courtesy of a response.” Grow up people, and get over it. No response = not interested. Don’t take it personally but don’t try to turn it into some major societal lack of manners.

  462. Anna Molly says:

    I think it depends on if the SB is married, like moi. If both parties are married then both people are on the same page to begin with. It would be easier that way, at least in my opinion. :)

  463. CrèmeBruléeNY says:

    I prefer Maîtresse-en-titre (Chief/Royal Mistress per Henry IV of France). It comes with pensions, titles, gifts, and courtly accomodations.

  464. Flo Rida says:

    Lady8 – blush & thanks – I agree a thanks but no thanks is nice from your perspective but most SDs lead incredibly stressful lives and most are alpha males (guess) and so common courtesy is not top of their list of values. The charming ones are only charming when they want something (yes guess what that is….) but c’est la vie. I guess Sincere, Realistic, SugarDiplomat, NYGent and others on this blog are outliers as they do care about SBs as people (but guess what they also want something & i’ll give you one clue only).

    Red & Anonymous – can we stop talk of war – though Red thanks for offering to help Lannie (which was the more important point) – let’s all get along. Kiss Hug.

  465. gurlnextdoor says:

    “With SBs it’s a bit more up-front and honest from the beginning. I guess our emotions can get the best of us, but generally the SD has already made up his mind that, for whatever reason, divorce is not in his plans”
    – RealisticSD

    That’s exactly why I want a married SD. I don’t want to be in a traditional relationship where things get messy and good feelings turn ill. Granted there is still a chance that may happen, but with a married SD at least I know that those chances are very slim. I see myself as his outlet from his life at home. Our time together as a fantasy world that we create for each other where we both forget all our problems for a few hours before returning to the real world.

  466. RealisticSD says:

    I have read that only 5% of mistresses end up marrying the married man they’re with. I know a guy who had a mistress for >15 years, they got married, and within months they were divorced. With SBs it’s a bit more up-front and honest from the beginning. I guess our emotions can get the best of us, but generally the SD has already made up his mind that, for whatever reason, divorce is not in his plans.

  467. gurlnextdoor says:

    Anna molly – That wouldn’t be a play on the word anomaly, would it? Seeing as there is a song called Anna Molly that is a play on the word anomaly. Just an observation. :)

    As to the difference between a mistress and a SB, I think that anonymous92019 is right. Mistresses are overly optimistic (one might say delusional in times) in thinking most of the time that their married man is going to leave his wife in the dust for her. I mean it can, and sometimes has, happened but in all likelihood it won’t. SBs on the other hand know their role and play their part happily keeping their relationship with their SD secret and discreet. Mistresses also carry with themselves a certain degree of drama I would think, that isn’t present with a SB. Examples being arguing over how long it will be for the married man to leave his wife, etc.

  468. Flo Rida says:
    October 18, 2009 at 6:14 pm

    All – i’ve reached compromise with SD AND I can come back (as long as i’m not distracted). thanks for all messages in past but my actions were alas necessary under the circumstances. I told you I was a bit of a drama queen (or at least liked the attention)

    O YEAH… 😀 Haven’t got to talk to you much, but I am very glad that you were able to come to an agreement and be able to talk to us on the blog again. I for one value your advice, opinion, and just plain liked talking to you. *big hugs* Welcome Back. You were sorely missed.

    Also in retrospect I am a bit of a red head, and I am sure they are busy. But even a ‘no interest you are fugly’ is a more decent reply then emptyness. I always reply to every email that I have gotten, even the one were he was looking for some ‘forgetfull’ fun in vegas and a threesome. I did wait a day, till I cooled down. and after congratulating on his weding aniversery politly stated I wasn’t interested in anything like that.

    I personally always write a personal email always tailored to what the profile states.

    I would have done a real reply sooner other then that rant I did earlier. But I got to have my son this weekend, and on these occisions the weekends are solely his.

    As usual Flo Rida you are a gem on insight.

    And I am off again. it is time for the little one to get ready for bed. it is only 5.30 but today has been a very busy day for him.

  469. Red Scouser says:

    Anonymous – I did not write IMX but it stands for ‘in my experience’. Realistic wrote it. I did say in my opinion PTSD does not exist and I should have said PTSD is overpublicized (in my opinion) you may disagree and that’s ok. I was a REMF (if you’re a Brit serviceman or woman you might know what it means) but friends of mine were killed. anyway back to sugar – sorry if I offended.

  470. anonymous92019 says:

    SugaCaneBby—Regarding your comment, “What about this dillema: Men who write YOU, you respond, and never hear from them again. They read your message expressing mutual interest and they just *poof*. Still log on and everything.” If the guy is one of your “favorites” when you see him online send him a quick email that says, “Saw you were online, just thought I would say hello. Have a great day!”. But I wouldnt do this more than a couple of times. Actually, I got a date by doing just that for this friday. Not a SD, but still a nice guy. Met him on Sugardaddie.

  471. SugaCaneBby says:

    Flo Rida – Oh, none taken! 😀 Like I said, I’m an idealist and I forget that things that make perfect sense to me are ludicrous to others (not referring to you, but the “pots” I correspond with).

    Anonymous – Cali is several states from where I am and I say that I’m not adverse to long-distance relationships in my profiles, but that’s only in regards to those close in proximity to my current and future locales. I’m more East than anything, but if they want to make it work (if and when they get around to contacting me), we’ll see.

  472. anonymous92019 says:

    Hello Sugars…Hope all is well with everyone!

    SincereSD—let’s hope your first born is a girl.lol. (if not he will hate you forever!)

    Anna Molly—I dont really see a big difference between a SB and a mistress….actually, I dont see any difference. Some of the SD posts that I have mentioned long term relationships with their SB’s, 2-4+ years.

    Lannie—I’m so glad you came through that bad experience okay (for the most part). I’m sure your thoughts/comments have been a big help for the new SB’s as well as the not so new. You are a brave woman!

    Red Scouser—What is IMX? To comment on your question, “is there no tactful way to ask about bedroom skills?” I think the answer is No. lol. Besides the SB may think her skills are a 10 and once you are intimate you may realize her 10 is your 6. lol. CrèmeBruléeNY had a good point too though. Also as far as PTSD, I was Saudi 8 months and was in both Desert Shield and Desert. I can say from 1st hand observation PTD does exsits. Some people just can handle the stuff they see or come to terms with the things they have had to do, ie. kill people. I joined the Army at 17 and although I knew there was a possibility that I could go to war, I never really thought I would. The soldiers coming back from Iraq and Afghanistan have it much worse. Saudi was like cake and ice cream compared to what they go though sometimes over and over as the soldiers are doing 3-4 tours.

    EastCoastFilly—-Your comments regarding ‘SB skills’ was right on! I agree with everything you stated espcially this comment, “If your a class act no matter how dirty the bedroom gets your still a class act.” So true!

    gurlnextdoor—looks like things are looking positive for your pot SD. Good luck. Hope it works out for you.

    SugaCaneBby—that was me that said I wish guys would state exactly what they want in their profiles. Your comment, “even though the men who do are ALWAYS looking for something that I believe personally is out of their league..” lol. Halarious and oh so true! As for your other comment, “I am getting favorited though…from men in California and that’s miffing me.” I guess California men just have good taste! (okay, I may be a little bias being that I’m a California girl. lol) Oh yeah, the patented gauge as to prowess ….so on point!

    RealisticSD—your comment on the quality and quantity of sex….also on point. I totally agree. As for the IRL mistress vs. the SB, I thought is that the mistress is in fantasy land (secretly or not so secretly thinking her married man is going to leave his wife for her one day) wheras the SB has a better understanding where things stand.

  473. Flo Rida says:

    SugarCane – I didn’t mean to offend – I just meant that SDs (and SBs) are looking at more than one pot and that they’re inevitably seeing someone earlier in the process and so SBs (and SDs) can be just behind in queue. I agree that there’s much more quality SBs. Great that you’re approaching this with the right positive mental attitude. Kudos to you.

  474. lisa says:

    Thanks I’m just glad i’m off the next couple days. Had a lot of contact with customers today, spreaded that virus :) Most likely got it from one of them anyway since I work in the medicine department, lots of people going around coughing and sneezing.

  475. Ms Behavin~389197 says:

    Poor Lisa sorry uour feeling bad sending get well wishes you way!!

  476. lisa says:

    Good evening everyone. Too sick to catch up up on all the posts. Spent the day in a drug induced state but managed to get alot done at work. Had a shot of daquil for breakfast and another for lunch. Going to have a theraflu night.

  477. SugaCaneBby says:

    Eh. Well thanks for the perspective. Just a small, very miniscule pet peeve of mine. I can put up with any and everything except having my time wasted and if these men are playing hard-to-get…HA! I’m not game. I’m also not ok with being a back-up as that screams “second best” and I believe that any woman can be top-rate regardless of who’s she’s “up against”. *shrug*

    Oh, and SB’s totally do the same thing as far as poofing, ignoring emails, yes. I’m sure it’s no less annoying to SDs.

    I’m not beaten down or discouraged at all, I’m just an idealist and chart my actions through common sense and logic and this ticks me off a bit. Since I’ve cut most interaction off due to the fact that these are lacking in average people, I sometimes forget that fact when I go to interact. It is what it is though. 😀 I will keep trying as I myself said that this should be fun and I do get excited when thinking about how to craft an initial email. All I want out of life are challenges and this is proving to be a nice one.

  478. I’ve missed y’all :-)

    Pardon me for not adressing most of you individually…too much to catch up on!

    Lannie – I, too, hope for healing and that you will be able to trust again…xox

    What makes someone good in bed?
    IMHO…they ask you what you like. If a guy takes the time to ask and picks up on *obvious* cues, then he rocks in my book! (Remember ladies, no subtle clues :-) )Everyone has different preferences and most of us can learn something new with every experience. I don’t think there is any formula or secret code for good lovers.

    As for those who don’t respond to e-mails…let it go and be glad they didn’t waste any more of your time. I agree it would be a courtesy, but I don’t take it personally. I have noticed that their disclosed level of success has no bearing on if they return a well-written e-mail.

    On the sd front…I’m enjoying learning more about my pot sd and looking forward to our meeting next week. Thanks to all of you for well wishes and support!

    XOXO
    NSB – Any suggestions for a new name?

  479. CrèmeBruléeNY says:

    RealisticSD – Absolutely. It’s common occurrence and sometimes the reasons (or lack of) are perplexing.

  480. RealisticSD says:

    You’re absolutely right CrèmeBruléeNY. The SBs do the same. I have seen some who e-mail back and forth many times then disappear when it comes to meeting. Such is life.

  481. Ms Behavin~389197 says:

    CrèmeBruléeNY~ agreed I would rather they poof in emails then to poof after we set a suger date…hate to waist the time getting ready :)

  482. Flo Rida says:

    Realistic SugarcaneBby others – thanks for the warm welcome I’ve missed everyone.

    Realistic – I agree that some people are not worth saving (sorry) but something about her intrigued you to post so you were at least intrigued by the idea. Now you know she’s a complete wacko whereas b4 you strongly suspected she was a wacko plus you were attracted to her (right?). Separately in terms of the one liners I agree it burns time and some SBs will respond to your one liner saying ‘but i’d come to you’ etc so alas there is no nice answer.

    Sugarcane – if they respond and then they poof the followin can be the reasons A: they like the idea more than the reality of a SB B: they changed their minds C: they found someone else D: their home life changed (found girlfriend – got fired – wife found out etc). Think of it this way why would they respond saying not interested A: it takes time and may lead to more emails B: it closes down option value if they are looking at other SBs first and you’re simply the back-up. Sorry but this is real life decision making. I know it would be nice to get the right response but SD’s and people are flawed and as my SD says ‘stop trying to rationalize the irrational’ he also says ‘stop trying to irrationalize the rational’ but that’s a digression. The bottom line is all sales and marketing plans will miss the mark BUT you only want one sale – right – hey baseball players who ht 300 will by definition not hit 700 – rejection is just part of the process. Sorry – stay positive, re-think your marketing approach and keep on persevering.

  483. CrèmeBruléeNY says:

    SD and SB poof-ism can and does occur at various stages of an interaction. There are no hard rules to this terrain we all navigate; no documented etiquette either. Although it can be frustrating, consider how early poofism (at e-mail phase) is far better than after a first meet, or second.

  484. RealisticSD says:

    OK, in defense of those who do not respond to every e-mail, there are so many cut-and-paste generic e-mails that flood our inboxes, many of which are from either long-distance or escort-like women (there was a previous posting by one of the SDs listing tell-tale signs of an escort’s e-mail/profile), that we often feel forced to do the 1-second look then delete. Granted, it is unfair especially if the e-mail looks personalized. At the beginning I used to write back a quick one-liner, like, “You seem very pretty/nice/inelligent/etc but we live too far from one another,” or something similar, but then I would get responses to those responses, and if I were to start responding to those responses, I would just be leading women on to thinking that I had some interest. Now, I am not condoning the automatic deleting of everything, but just trying to shed some light on the SD’s perspective.

    Flo Rida, I’m so glad you’re back :) I do think that you did give me good advice on drama queen initially. It would be nice to help someone in a truly bad situation in life, but some people just cannot be helped. In her case, I quickly realizedthat she would use any financial support to her own detriment and not only would the relationship not be mutually beneficial, it wouldn’t even benefit her in any meaningful way.

  485. EastCoastFilly says:

    Ms Behavin: yup dancing is key 😉

    SugaCaneBby: yeah, I agree, the more they talk it up the more they will disappoint. Thats why I’m not quick to throw away the guys who I don’t think will be my type and bam! they are fantastic.
    And to your dillemna, what I don’t get either is they write send their pic, call you set a date and disappear. LOL

  486. gurlnextdoor says:

    I agree with Flo Rida, SDs are busy men and I don’t expect everyone that I email to email me back. As for the ones that do email me back and then disappear, well that’s a different story. Once you show interest I think out of common courtesy it would be nice for a SD to just say that they lost interest instead of keeping me wondering as to what is going on.

  487. SugaCaneBby says:

    Welcome back Flo Rida! I don’t know. Even if if I was getting 100 emails in a day, I would STILL make an attempt to respond to all of them (excluding the downright nasty ones…they didn’t try, why should I?). I don’t know. I guess I’m just a brat and I think that if they have time to read it, they should have some time to bang out a sentence or two. *pout*

    What about this dillema: Men who write YOU, you respond, and never hear from them again. They read your message expressing mutual interest and they just *poof*. Still log on and everything. -_____-;;;

  488. Flo Rida says:

    Realistic – your place in sugar heaven is reserved for you – I love how you tried with Ms. Drama queen – she needs a lobotomy as she’s a complete idiot (sorry everyone). I apologize for my past posts – but you must admit you do feel good about trying though.

    SugarCaneBby – Lady8 – don’t take it personally – if you cold call or cold email you are bound to get rejected – think of the recipients of the emails – they may have 50 building up and they don’t want to respond to every email. I get maybe 50-200 emails a day through work, SD, friends, charity, SD has two blackberries one for personal and one for work and he can get 50 emails in one morning – really important people are really busy. You’re doing the right think by tailoring your emails though. Keep positive and it’ll pay off.

    All – i’ve reached compromise with SD AND I can come back (as long as i’m not distracted). thanks for all messages in past but my actions were alas necessary under the circumstances. I told you I was a bit of a drama queen (or at least liked the attention)

    Red Scouser – love the Q – no one’s complained of my skills but as Realistic said there are more than just skills at stake. Methinks Realistic is thinking more of an emtional connection whereas you are thinking of ‘gymnastics’ and ‘creativity’ correct me if I’m wrong?

  489. SugaCaneBby says:

    RealisticSD says:
    October 18, 2009 at 5:38 pm

    “In my perhaps limited experience, the quality and quantity of sex depends on so many factors beyond just “skill”. Passion in the relationship, the emotional connection between the two people, the desire to please, one’s comfort with oneself and the other person, openness of communication, etc. all play huge rolls.”

    Agreed. All of those things = not only better sex, but BEST sex.

  490. RealisticSD says:

    In my perhaps limited experience, the quality and quantity of sex depends on so many factors beyond just “skill”. Passion in the relationship, the emotional connection between the two people, the desire to please, one’s comfort with oneself and the other person, openness of communication, etc. all play huge rolls.

    No one will please like the IRL mistress who is hoping to replace a guy’s wife; I guess people shine in a competitive environment. The wife who assumes that she’s the only one and that the guy is “stuck” with her is liable to being the worst in bed. I suppose an SB will fall below the IRL mistress who hopes the guy will divorce his wife and marry her instead but well above a GF because she has a much greater impetus to make sure the sex is good and because the relationship is likely much more sexual and less bogged down by the chores that make LT relationships so dull.

  491. Ms Behavin~389197 says:

    *ahem* Suga’s patented gauge as to prowess is as follows: The more he talks it up, the worse it’s going to be because apparently he has some convincing to do. The one’s who never speak on it or only hint at it subtly are winners. :3 That’s confidence and THAT’S good
    Suga~ I agree compleatly with that one the quite ones get to me

  492. SugaCaneBby says:

    I’ve met a few men who can’t dance and do just fine in the sack. I’ve also met some dancers who were absolutely horrible (which sucks, because I have a weakness for dancers…).

    *ahem* Suga’s patented gauge as to prowess is as follows: The more he talks it up, the worse it’s going to be because apparently he has some convincing to do. The one’s who never speak on it or only hint at it subtly are winners. :3 That’s confidence and THAT’S good.

  493. SugaCaneBby says:

    Lady_8: Lol, yes. I think right now I’d even settle for a “sorry, but you’re ugly” email in response to me sticking my neck out. 😀 I know that’s not true and at least it would let me know that I misjudged contacting them in the first place. But this entire air of “I’m too good to respond to the likes of you” is quite agitating. I respond to EVERY email I get, even if it’s to say Thanks, but no thanks and good luck.

    I’m with you on the being tempted to harrass them a bit, but that would make me a very small person. Kinda starting to side with one of the girls (sorry, I forgot!) who said it would be cool if men stated EXACTLY what physical attributes they’re looking for (even though the men who do are ALWAYS looking for something that I believe personally is out of their league…that was snarky). If Mr. Anyone-goes-as-long-as-they’re-feminine was REALLY looking for a tall leggy blonde, then he REALLY should have said so and I’d take my short (yet leggy) brunette behind elsewhere.

    The thing is, I ask them simple questions from their profile (proving that I DO read) and make a helluva effort to personalize the message to them and only them i.e. “may I ask what part of the state you’re in? I noticed you said you’re a professor. What is it that you teach?” and I get NADA. -____-;;;

    I am getting favorited though…from men in California and that’s miffing me.

  494. gurlnextdoor says:

    Anna Molly, I agree. Why be nice in an email and turn out to be a complete a$$ in real life? Just be who you are from the start and save us both some time.

    In other news, I have great news to report. I’m meeting a potential SD on Thursday for coffee (well tea for me). :) We talked some on yahoo today and I’m really looking forward to it, he seems really down to earth and has a great sense of humor. So far getting along great so let’s just hope Thursday goes well too.

  495. Ms Behavin~389197 says:

    EastCoastFilly here here girl. we do seem to think alike!!!I have to agree with your post. I can usually tell about a man . Dancing is always a good way to tell not the movements but just the way he holds you.

  496. Anna Molly says:

    I hate it when they’re super nice in the emails, then when they call you they turn into nothing but complete jerks. I hate that!!!

  497. SugaCaneBby says:
    October 18, 2009 at 2:11 am

    Boo to all the opened messages and no replies. :( Common courtesy is dead.

    I heatedly agree. I have been tempted to email those back and give them a piece of my mind. But I was raised to well for that. Have to be a lady and all.

    Though I am still tempted. Just because they ‘think’ they have money they can be rude.

    Would love to meet them on the road though. And trap their @ss in traffic. Probably have a slow POS
    😀 I do like to maneuver the traffic to trap someone into a cage of cars where they can only slow down to try to go around.

    Certainly gets the wind out of their sails and makes them think twice before they be @ssh@les on the road near me.

    Anyways. I am done venting. When they do that (the emails) it just really smacks me as discourteous. And I loath discourteous people.

    I’ll get off my soap box now. 😉

  498. Anna Molly says:

    I have to agree with RealisticSD :)

  499. EastCoastFilly says:

    Red Scouser, I don’t really know how you go about finding out, no science to it. I think somehow you just know. Usually if a woman is naturally sexy, not trying to be and very confident with herself she probably will please you as she has already learned how to please herself in life. Pleasing another person comes with knowing yourself first and not being a selfish person which again you can pick up on when having conversations with someone. If a man (or woman) is all about me, me, me, chances are thats the way they will be in the bedroom. Women have a saying, cheap with your wallet, cheap in the bedroom and with affection. My girlfriends and I have always found this to be true.

    So far every guy I suspected would be good in bed was and beyond. Its in their eyes, the way they look at me and their confidence and how attentive they are to you. The one guy I was refering to that was not good in bed…I knew it beforehand. He just was so blah and stiff. Being sensual is so much more important than being blatantly sexual. You can tell how sensual a person is pretty quickly. Or at least I can.

    So you can just come right out and ask, hey do you do this, and that etc, but even if she says yes I do “that” doesn’t mean shes good at it. And again if you take your time to get to know someone a bit when the time comes you can direct them to what you like without sounding demanding as you’ve developed a level of trust. And if she is paying attention she will want to learn about what pleases you and take hints, ie, when you moan=good, silence=bad, lol.

  500. CrèmeBruléeNY says:

    Red – Depends on your objective in asking. Are you trying to ensure she is sufficiently experienced? Moderately capable? Or that you have similar preferences/style? There’s a difference between asking “are you good in bed” and “what do you enjoy in bed.” If the question is properly crafted, you can most likely get both answers.

  501. gurlnextdoor says:

    Wow Lannie! That’s horrible, but at least you learned from your experience. I know there are some blogs in the archives that deal with how a SB or SD can be safe when finding their way through the sugar world. For me I always let my friend know where I’m going and I tell her to text me every often to see if I’m ok. If I don’t answer my text, then she calls, just to make sure everything is ok. Also ALWAYS meet in a public place. That’s another great precaution to take.

    As for Red Scouser’s question, I personally am looking for a SD to have great bedroom skills. He doesn’t have to be amazing, but I’d like him to at least be good and take the time to learn how to please me individually as I would take the time to please him.

    Now for Elle, I’m a SB in college! Well I’m taking a semester off at the moment, but I’ll be going back. I wouldn’t rely on my SD for all my income per say, but a good chunk of it will be going toward paying my tuition and paying off a student loan I had to take out last year. For whatever is left over, I plan to put half away in savings and use the rest for personal enjoyment.

  502. RealisticSD says:

    I don’t see how one can ask about bedroom skills ahead of time, unless one is looking for something very specific. Plus, how good one is in bed depends greatly on whom one is sleeping with.

  503. Red Scouser says:

    TLG – ECF – CremebruleeNY – Thanks for responding. So let’s say SD and SB are looking for bedroom skills – how on earth does one ask prior to getting into bed? It seems a minefield? Do you agree that there’s no tactful way to ask?

    Lannie – sorry for your trouble. I’m an army reservist – one tour of duty and can help on the physical side of self defense. Hollywood makes me laugh as the fight (and death) scenes are completely unrealistic. I hope you heal and do not suffer from post traumatic stress disorder. I can also help there as some of my friends have PTSD and are receiving treatment (though personally I don’t beieve in PTSD)

  504. RealisticSD says:

    Buttercup, I agree with NewTXSB, if the guy is so cheap as not to be happy with providing what you ask for, then he is not an SD. Of course, if you ask for 10K+, most will balk at that, particularly after just having met you for the first time. As I said a few days ago, for a real SD, the true cost of the SB will be much more than her allowance (50-100%+ more), and the SD has to enjoy providing generously for the SB, otherwise the whole thing will never work.

    Elle, I have met many college students interested in being SBs. Mostly they want an SD in lieu of a job and many of them also get some help from their parents as well. But I have found that girls in that age group have generally not thought through the relationship and what “mutually beneficial” really means and they are not able to comfortably and confidently discuss the intricacies of these types of relationships. Especially if a college student wants a long-term SD, she will have to think of how she’s going to keep him happy over the long term.

    New SB in SB, I never thought of a confidentiality agreement, but I can see how it can make sense in many situations. I figure my SBs have little to gain from people finding out, as the relationship will likely have to end. As life has it, the wife typically forgives the husband’s affair, but the mistress has to go, or seeing her becomes a lot more difficult.

    Lannie, I am sorry to hear about your scary situation. I’m glad you shared it because everyone does have to be smart, especially when out of town or in private situations early on.

  505. photogirl says:

    Red Scouser – TLG and ECF pretty much answered for me. One of the many reasons I prefer older men. And ofcourse experimenting with one another is always fun too 😉

  506. Flo Rida says:

    Lannie – I’m in retirement but thought I’d come out after reading your blog. I’m so sorry. If you recall we and others blogged about the importance of safety before you went on the trip and first date and onwards protocol. Although bruises and the physical incident are awful I’m glad it was not worse and you are healing (both physically and emotionally).
    At the end of the day a man will be physically stronger than most women – FACT, the only way to compensate is to be physically and emotionally prepared, detect and avoid danger signs (which is more crystal ball gazing than science) have back up and an escape route. I’ve blogged (but not in detail) on all of the above. The most important point in an entourage scenario is the ‘tone from the top’ as if SD puts out a signal that you’re to be protected AND if he has control of his troops you WILL be safe. Those are two big ifs though.

    Lannie, if you wish we can email in confidence on this – K-K has my email – if not that is fine as well (I don’t want to intrude).

    I guess I have to go back to blog retirement – I’ll have raised eyebrows and some explaining to do for this post but I thought the topic was sufficiently important to warrant a ‘breach’.

    For everyone else – there are always risks with dating IRL or sugar and ‘if you risk nothing you get nothing’ BUT you can minimize and avoid the risks and maximize the rewards.

    Sorry for the long blog. Pax peeps.

    PS Villa C and Sweety I may be heading to a F1 circuit in Europe – can’t say which one & I may drive the track – wooopie.

  507. EastCoastFilly says:

    Red Scouser:
    To answer your question from a SB perspective…I definitely want a SD w bedroom skills. I have never dated an older man until SA and I am in my mid thirties. I’d say about 95% of the men I’ve ever dated were younger. I’d heard older men were way better and so far its mostly right. One guy was clueless but the rest were fantastic! Takes sex to a whole new level. I think it partly has to do with experience but also that an older man pretty much worships a youthful body (yes I’m an older SB but my body tells another story, LOL). They spend hours just touching and adoring me and with younger men, well they are selfish.

    I am sure they would be happy to teach a younger girl some tricks but I can tell you the men I have been with were probably happier to sit back and let me teach them a few too. I don’t think they see me as slutty at all, its how you present yourself as a whole package. If your a class act no matter how dirty the bedroom gets your still a class act. Plus, being a bit older I have experience younger girls don’t, no offense, and a more carefree, comfortable in my own skin, I don’t give a sh!t attitude about life that only comes with age.

    I haven’t been with that any people in my life but more longer term relationships so I think that hones your skills better than someone who has had more frequent casual flings. You don’t get to learn about likes and dislikes from one night stands because you are not pleasing the other person, its a more let me get mine attitude. When you are in a long term relationship is when you take the time to learn eachothers bodies and especially your own. I learned all my best tricks from the longest, most loving relationship I had in college where I felt most comfortable experimenting.

    wow sorry that was long winded, LOL!!

  508. The Lone Gunman says:

    Red Scouser says:

    Question to SDs – are you looking for a SB with ahemmm bedroom skills? or would you think she’s slutty? or would you be happy that’s she’s inexperienced.

    Generally speaking, IMX SBs already have the skills you allude to in varying degrees of proficiency. Sometimes, one of the benefits an SB is looking for is someone to help them hone those skills in an unpressured manner.

    Another delightful benefit mentioned in another blog here is that the SB finds that the mature SD brings ‘bedroom skills’ that she never experienced before–a change from dealing with lackluster Mundane world relationships.

    TLG

  509. Taz says:

    Wow Lannie – so sorry to hear that – glad you are getting better…how horrifying…

  510. Lannie says:

    anonymous92019 says:
    “Did you have a close call?” Actually I got hurt physically but not from the SD directly but from one of many people he had there at the time. I can not speak details but I can tell you that it made me realize how important safety is and how I have had to rethink my own safety. It takes time to get to know a Pot and this goes for both SD’s and SB’s and I now realize that having an emergency plan for the what if’s is essential. Especially if you are flying to their location it is important to remember that you may not be aware of the surroundings and should always insist on a seperate hotel room no matter what and not go to their home or other place that is not public at first. Be aware of the people around you , and make sure there is someone who knows where you are and have a check in day and time so someone knows there could be a potential problem if you do not check in. There are great people out there but we must face the fact that there are also a few fakes and it may not be the pot SD but someone associated with him that could be the problem. For me a good sugar arrangement is based on trust and friendship but to get to that point it is necessary to take chances to meet that person so ask the hard questions right from the beginning as I have learned that a gentleman will not be offended and will appreciate one’s honesty . I am okay now and the bruises have faded but I had a scary experience that helped me to see that in our secret world it is important to find a safety plan and if you can not discuss it with your friends or family at home, talk to one of your friends for example even through the SA site and let them know where you will be so someone knows. Tough experience but in the end I am know grateful as I have learned something and grown from it. If anyone else has any special measures they take to be safe I would love to hear it as I am open to keeping my self as safe as possible in the future.

  511. Sweety~AKA BG*395953 says:

    Ms Behavin & Anna Molly~ We will all find our right fit! at some point 😀

  512. CrèmeBruléeNY says:

    Red – Are you asking if SBs are keen on bedroom skills and if we perceive an “experienced” SD as slutty?

  513. Anna Molly says:

    I don’t feel so out of place now…thanks :)

  514. Ms Behavin~389197 says:

    Hi Sweety I’m also on the older side…..wish I knew back then what I know now lol

  515. Sweety~AKA BG*395953 says:

    NC~ Hi

    Anna Molly~ I don’t think age has anything to do with it! But , I am older too so….

    Ms Behavin~ hi

  516. Anna Molly says:

    Very true…lol

  517. Ms Behavin~389197 says:

    I do like the term mistress also,but what ever he wants to call me I’ll answer to….just as long as he calls lol

  518. Anna Molly says:

    Maybe the term mistress seems like it would fit me better; I’m not as young as most of you on here..lol.

  519. Ms Behavin says:

    good morning to all in sugarland.

  520. Sweety~AKA BG*395953 says:

    SincereSD ~ The Maple Syrup lol… Maybe! The 40 list needs to be longer… More hot SDs please 😛

    Elle~ If you read the old blogs it will help, also I don’t think this, SD dating, should be your only source of income…

  521. NC Gent says:

    Thanks Sincere I think – I am sooo glad you think I am hot (joking).

    Hello and great advice BG – great minds think a like :)

    Good morning sugar world!

  522. NC Gent says:

    Elle — there are a number of college coeds that are SBs. Two of my SBs were coeds but both had other sources of income – one on the GI Bill and one from the Bank of Mom & Dad — both needed some extra help to get by. I think it is very risky to have your SD be your only source of incomes, plus a number of SDs here, including myself, have said that they don’t like being the only source of income because it creates a lot of pressure on the relationship. Having said that, I am sure there are a number of SBs that have their sugar as their only income. Just make sure you keep a few months in the bank for a lifeline – just like you should do the rest of your entire life, even post sugar. Best wishes in your search!

  523. Red Scouser says:

    Elle – read the old boards – there’s a lot of great information there – it takes time though.

  524. SincereSD says:

    Sweety~AKA BG*395953 says: Seems like there are more and more Cnd’s on here! But no one from My Province :( , And over 40 list?

    Sweety, there is a disproportionally high number of Canadians on this blog … must be something in our diet … maple syrup or the back bacon!

    Oh and the over 40 list? NewSB was asking for a list of hot sugars over 40. How’s this one … myself, NC Gent, SuthernExec … :p

  525. Red Scouser says:

    Anna Molly – I read Flo Rida’s comment and I agree with her on the mistress part but you can be a long term SB – there are no fixed rules. One edit would be ‘It is time & financially difficult to maintain several mistresses but I think several SBs can be done.

    Ladies – stop harrassing NYC SB – the question has been asked, it has not been answered, it need not be asked again. Kindly respect privacy. Sorry NYC SB if this disrespects you.

    Finally sorry for lowering the tone but Question to SDs – are you looking for a SB with ahemmm bedroom skills? or would you think she’s slutty? or would you be happy that’s she’s inexperienced. Also how do you raise the subject during the initial stages (or do you just try it like a box of chocolates?) and see what you get. I suppose the reverse question could apply to SBs. Anyone brave enough to offer me their thoughts. Also feel free to blast me for this post – I can take the heat.

  526. Elle says:

    Hey girls and guys,

    So I’m thinking of getting a sugar daddy to help fund myself through university. I was wondering if anyone else is doing it already? And if so what is it like? Do you do it instead of a job or as well as one? I’m really wanting to give it a go and would appreciate some information on what it’s like!

    Thanks :-) xxx

  527. BostonSB anti twin says:

    Sexy biker babe – if you read the old blogs this is discussed at length in terms of security – search for Lannie as she raised it. Also in terms of the allowance – it’s a bit like quoting in the dark – what if he stinks (literally) what if he’s just not into you. Your call though.

  528. SincereSD says:

    Should someone who is so well known be keeping a mistress?

    Why not? They just need to be more discrete about their activities. They just need to be discrete and I’m surprised that high powered SD don’t ask for the same as they would in business … a confidentiality agreement with specified damages if the SB leaks details.

    In some societies. mistresses are accepted. I’ve seen business associates with their mistresses frequently during trips to Asia.

    Does money and power make people more likely to cheat or seek arrangements rather than traditional dating? Why or why not?

    Money and fame attract a lot of women so temptation is much greater. Money makes getting into arrangements much easier.

    Do you take special precautions when dating a sugar daddy or sugar baby? If so, what are they?

    In the beginning of the relationship, I maintain a high degree of discretion. With time and trust, I’m found we start to integrate into each others lifestyle but I also understand why some couples maintain their distance.

  529. Anna Molly says:

    After reading the post by Flo Rida about the difference between SB’s and Mistresses, I think being somebodys mistress is what I’m really looking for as I’m looking for something long term.

  530. Sweety~AKA BG*395953 says:

    Hello Sugars! How is everyone?

    SincereSD ~ Seems like there are more and more Cnd’s on here! But no one from My Province :( , And over 40 list?

  531. SincereSD says:

    Buttercup says: i thought of that,.but hes very determined to stay at 2k and at 2k we would already be spending 2/3 days/week together.., 4/5 and we might as well be a real couple or attached at the hips right? lol i was hoping to just have one sd at a time.,,

    2-3x/week is a big time commitment. Discuss what expectations for activities during your dates and what happens if one of you has to cancel. Will you have time for work, studies and personal activities … and how long before you get sick of each other at that frequency? I try to see my SB 2x/week and with our schedules sometimes we are lucky to get together 1x/week but the allowance doesn’t change.

    On the allowance side, does $2k/mo cover your expenses? You may want to try changing your location to Toronto to see if you get more SD interest. Hamilton is too far for many SD to go and competition is high because of pot SB from the university. Also post your profile number in your blog name to see if that attracts interest.

    Margo says:SincereSD, Cynthia, Taz – I am from Ontario as well
    CanadianSD EH says: Well, for the canucks out there, CanadianSD EH is redundant – SD EH probably says it all!

    Welcome to the new fellow canucks, … CdnSD, Margo and Buttercup.

    New SB in SB *395409* says: SincereSD – have an over 40 list? :-)

    My next project 😉

  532. NYGent says:

    buttercup: $2K isn’t very much for 2-3 times a week; your typical SB, I think, is looking for $3-5K for once a week or thereabouts, so you sound like a bargain and I wouldn’t be afraid to stick to your guns. However, it sort of depends on how important the allowance vis a vis extras is to you: is there a chance that though he wouldn’t be willing to go above $2K for allowance, he’d be extra generous as far as gifts, travel etc. and is that something that you might find enticing? If so, and if you are really into him, you might say something like : “ok $2K for the first month or two, but I hope you’ll be very generous with extras . . .” then if he isn’t you can (a) tell him you’re disappointed in his level of generosity and if he wants to continue, he needs to bump up the allowance part; or (b) dump him at that point. By I agree with others who say basically it comes down to whether you’re so into the guy that you’re willing to compromise a little, at least at first. hope this helps

  533. SincereSD says:

    From the previous blog …

    anonymous92019 says: SincereSD—last comment I’ll make on the waitress. Although she may not have seen your exotic car or desire mentoring she did see your black card which means most likely you have it going on! She may really be attracted you despite the fact that she is a 9/10 in your book and also half your age. … I’m basically saying all this to say that if you really like the woman go for it! Drive back to the restaurant and slip her your number. When she calls, take her out and see what happens.

    Anony, thanks for the advise. The timing might be good as things aren’t working out so well with my new SB. I’m definitely going to ask her on a date. If it works out, we’ll name our first born after you 😉

    1/2 Step Down says: you need to quote better as that is someone else’s comment.

    You are right but it was an easy mistake to take since you quoted that sentence. It was NewTXSB who made the comment.” Are any of the SD’s reading this brave enough to offer their thoughts/views on this topic??”

    NYC SB says: regarding creme burlee …. she is MUCH funnier in person… I <3 her!

    Get her to post more … I <3 her (comments) as well!

  534. SugaCaneBby says:

    Boo to all the opened messages and no replies. :( Common courtesy is dead.

  535. Ms Behavin says:

    nite nite all sweet sugar dreams for all

  536. Buttercup says:

    thxs for the advice everybody.,will give an update tmrw *fingers crossed*
    .,.. btw congrats on your great find Newtxsb!:) im happy for you hun.,

    xoxoxo &nd im off to bed ,.

  537. SugaCaneBby says:

    ***Should someone who is so well known be keeping a mistress?***

    I’m with Gemi on this one. It’s their call, but don’t be suprised when it comes back to bite you in the ass in the worse way. Another reason I’d never want to be famous is because you have absolutely NO privacy. And I enjoy my anonymity.

    ***Does money and power make people more likely to cheat or seek arrangements rather than traditional dating? Why or why not?***

    I don’t believe it drives people to cheat (money and\or power), but it does afford one more options. There are a lot of things one would do to be “kept” that they wouldn’t even consider if their mate was living off of disability.

    ***Do you take special precautions when dating a sugar daddy or sugar baby? If so, what are they?***

    The bestie gets important details, whereabouts, and calls to let him know I’m fine. Public places and all that jazz.

    ***Do you have any upcoming dates with a sugar daddy or sugar baby? Care to share?***

    No upcoming dates. Chatting with a potential over in Chicago. No sparks even though he’s my type physically (give him some glasses! GLASSES!!!). Maybe we’ll get along better once we move on to phone communication.

    Got another message from Mr. please-my-8-inch-long-3-inch-round friend. Definitely a canned message and he definitely has horrible memory. In response to his repeated proposal, I repeated what I told him originally verbatim and then blocked him. That’s the end of thatl.

  538. Buttercup says:

    goodnight anonymous& gnd., sweet dreams:)

    newtxsb;
    oh no worries, they still made sense.,. and im starting to think the same., i figure ill give another try at the compromise., and hope he says yes., because or else- i might have to walk away.,.he made first contact which i was pleased about but now i wish i wouldve asked for his limit in the first email..lol.. which i cant really get myself to do-because it feels weird to mention it as the first thing.,.guess im learning lessons…
    i think i might have to actually repeat the allowance info in the body of my profile so it stands out.,ughh

    gnd- apparently he didnt lol.,

  539. NewTXSB says:

    Sorry for the typos….hopefully my posts made sense…..

  540. gurlnextdoor says:

    I’ve got to be going too, sleep awaits, along with this stupid job meeting in the morning. Ugh!

    Night sugars :)

  541. anonymous92019 says:

    Okay Sugars,

    I guess I’ll sign out. Have a good night/morning.

  542. gurlnextdoor says:

    I agree NewTXSB.

    And Buttercup apparently he didn’t read your profile. I mentioned this earlier with the men who just go through profiles, browsing through the pictures and nothing more, then making a decision to email a potential SB based off that alone. Maybe you should ask him if he saw your stated allowance amount on your profile.

  543. NewTXSB says:

    ** To clarify, Buttercup, even IF you contacted him….he should’ve told you the 1st time he responded what his “cut off” point was.

  544. NewTXSB says:

    “Buttercup says:
    NewTXSB:
    my allowance is stated,.hes is not- it only says ‘negotiable’– but i assumed he read my profile before he charmed me”

    Sorry but if I were you, I’d drop him. That tells me that either he didn’t pay attention or for some reason though you could get you “cheaper”.

    If you allowance was clearly stated at 3-5k…..and if he knew he’s not willing to do minimum 3k…..then he should’ve never contacted you. I wouldn’t be able to have much respect for a man like that. There’s a reason I took the time to write details in m profile….and I expect a potential SD to pay attention to it and respect the specifics I stated.

  545. NewTXSB says:

    If a “SD” can’t compromise and go up $500….then how much “spoiling? is he going to be doing as the relationship progresses? IMO it’s weird that a man with $$ can’t or isn’t willing to compromise $500 for a potential SB he really likes.

  546. Buttercup says:

    anonymous92019:
    hehe,. i love how we all end up having birthdays this month., maybe itll give us all goodluck in sugarland:)

    NewTXSB:
    my allowance is stated,.hes is not- it only says ‘negotiable’– but i assumed he read my profile before he charmed me :(

    nyc sb; im so sorry to say this aswell but im probably the most curious person alive; what was weird about the exsd?

  547. gurlnextdoor says:

    Haha yeah Anonymous! :)

    Buttercup, 2-3 nights a week is enough for $2.5k a month. Especially if it’s every week. If you really want at least $2,500 then go for it. Unless of course you think he’s worth the compromise.

  548. anonymous92019 says:

    Buttercup—That’s a tough call if your pot SD is not willing to compromise. Not sure what I would do in your situation.

  549. anonymous92019 says:

    GND— Libra’s in the sugarHouse!!!

  550. Buttercup says:

    goodnight sweety:) lets exchange for sure,.hope to see u on the blogs soon.,

    im still up aswell gnd.,,its 30 past midnight here.,, so ill retire soon enough.,

    anonymous- i thought of that,.but hes very determined to stay at 2k and at 2k we would already be spending 2/3 days/week together.., 4/5 and we might as well be a real couple or attached at the hips right? lol i was hoping to just have one sd at a time.,,

  551. gurlnextdoor says:

    Anonymous92019 I’m in North Carolina. My birthday is this month too, lol, next week actually.

    NewTXSB, I agree with you on the questions. If I have a desired range in my profile I expect a SD to know from the get go, that I want an allowance in that range (unless of course he suggests something higher :) ) But it is up to the SB to decide what she will and won’t agree to. If she settles for a lower amount in contrast to coming to a compromise, then I think she’s selling herself short. If on the other hand she comes to a compromise she’s happy with, then that’s great.

  552. anonymous92019 says:

    Lannie—regarding your statement, “…I found this new topic very interesting considering what has happened to me lately ….” Did you have a close call?

  553. Lannie says:

    Sweety: I am doing much better and thanks for asking. How is everything going for you. I found this new topic very interesting considering what has happened to me lately and I am glad that it gives the opportunity to discuss how important it is for a sugar babe to think about safety when they are first meeting a pot and even in the first few months of an arrangement as we never really know what might happen.

  554. NewTXSB says:

    “Buttercup says:
    I also just started talking to someone who seems very interested and seems almost great for me; witty, funny,very down to earth & in canada lol., and wants to do diner next weekend,. even suggested taking me to niagra falls etc for my upcoming birthday.,we talked and he askd what i expect in allowance-this is where things are stalled., i said 3-5k., he offered me 1k-2 max// im conflictedd,.,any advice guys?”

    1) Does your profile state your desired allowance range?
    2) At the end of the day, it’s totally your call. Only you can decide if this guy is worth you compromising the $.

  555. anonymous92019 says:

    GND—yeah, probably would have been funny to see the look on his face. What state are you in?

  556. gurlnextdoor says:

    Ahh California, I want to go there one day. Hmm, maybe my future SD will take me there. :)

    But yes he said a “trial run” like I’m going to just give it up to him based on his word alone. I should’ve known he hesitated to pay the bill at the restaurant we went to. Hmm, now that I think about it I should’ve told him, that this girl needs to collect her allowance before you can pass Go. I bet that would’ve been just as entertaining, haha.

  557. anonymous92019 says:

    My birthday is in October also. lol

    NYC SB—I was wondering the same thing about your ex SD (what was weird about it).

  558. anonymous92019 says:

    girl next door—I’m usually the last one to turn in being that I’m in California. It’s not even 9:30 pm yet here.

  559. anonymous92019 says:

    Ms Behavin , Lannie, & gurlnextdoor —good luck on your pot SD’s !

    Buttercup— what about a compromise of 2.5K ? But I guess the final decision would depend on how much time you will be spending together and how much chemistry the two of you have.

    gurlnextdoor—“trial allowance” …very good come back. halarious!

    Is the book (sugar daddy 101 by Leidra Lawson) really that good? I already ordered the SA book/guide. Maybe I’ll get that one too.

  560. gurlnextdoor says:

    Haha, well NYC SB what exactly about it made it weird? Did you two end things on bad terms? Just being nosy, you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to…

    On another note I’m noticing alot of people have birthdays in October, hmm interesting.

  561. NYC SB says:

    Im still here – had an odd night… went out and ran into my ex SD… tonight is his bday… weird… very very weird…

  562. gurlnextdoor says:

    Night Sweety and good luck to you too.

    So who else is up? Anonymous92019, Buttercup, and NYC SB. Any of you all still up?

  563. Sweety~AKA BG*395953 says:

    GND~ yeah,,,, i know! well, we will all find our perfect matches,,,, I hope!
    off to bed for me, i’m way too tired!
    good night all,,,, good luck GND

    Buttercup, it would be great! We can exchange emails if you want, Good night

    Stephan ~ could you send Buttercup my email? Thank you!

    Good night all lurkers, ladies and gents!

  564. gurlnextdoor says:

    Hey NYC SB, glad to see your up with us tonight. :)

    Haha Sweety, I believe they may have passed me too. I’m not a very passive person and so sitting by for something to happen doesn’t work well for me. I like to get out there and get what I want, and so maybe that’s what you have to do. Keep sending out emails, reading profiles, and being proactive on all fronts. You’ll find your perfect SD soon enough. :)

  565. anonymous92019 says:

    noticed a couple of typo’s….please excuse.

  566. Buttercup says:

    i will definetly let you know sweety it would be great to hv another SB to talk to:)

  567. anonymous92019 says:

    Hey everyone! Interesting topics. Im sure everyone is holding their breath to hear my two cents. lol

    I think most men have cheated at one time or another. The wealthy ones are just better at it being that they have more to offer. I really dont think their is anything wrong with keeping a mistress as long as the wife is in blissful ignorance. I mean as long as the home front is being taken care of….

    I think special precautions should be taken, but since all the SD/SD’s have all covered that so I’ll just say I agree with everything I have read.

    No upcoming to dates of speak of so I will continue to live precariously through my fellow SB’s. lol.

  568. Sweety~AKA BG*395953 says:

    NYC~ how are you?

  569. NYC SB says:

    subettegirl – i have the book… its amazing… and autographed… would never sell it … but if you go on the authors site you can purchase it there for $17

  570. Sweety~AKA BG*395953 says:

    GND~ they passed me when they were giving patience …. 😀

  571. gurlnextdoor says:

    Sweety: Aww well your perfect SD is out there still, like mine is. The problem is just finding him or having him find you. But life has a way of working itself out so he will come. Just have to be patient as hard as I know that is.

  572. Sweety~AKA BG*395953 says:

    Buttercup~ let me know next time, it would be nice to meet a fellow SB!

  573. Buttercup says:

    sweety~ oh cool., i was in montreal last month for my first time and i fell in love., it was almost a match made in heaven im thinking of spending next summer there- learning french, hopefully

  574. Sweety~AKA BG*395953 says:

    GND~ I wouldn’t mind that at all, have one in mind too!!!! lol but he’s taken :(

  575. gurlnextdoor says:

    Yep Sweety, too many fakes on this site. I’ve ran across a couple, luckily only went on a date with one. He was a nice guy but definitely not looking for a SB. He asked me for a “trial run” and then got mad when I asked for a “trial allowance”, haha. But hopefully, we’ll find great SDs soon, like the ones on the blog.

  576. Sweety~AKA BG*395953 says:

    GND~ I know, too many fakes,,,, hopefully we will find SDs soon!

  577. Buttercup says:

    GND~ its sort of bitter sweet., lol
    Niagras beautiful so im definetly tempted by that.,
    oh what days your birthday..&very lucky!! i still have 1more year to go before i finally escape it lol

  578. Sweety~AKA BG*395953 says:

    Buttercup~ I’m in Montreal….

  579. gurlnextdoor says:

    I know Sweety, but from my experience alot of guys don’t even bother to read your profile. They just look at your pictures and say “yea or nay” and then proceed to throw you in the “no” bin forever, or email you some one liner. But then again, those aren’t usually real SDs either, just fakes.

  580. Sweety~AKA BG*395953 says:

    LANNIE~~~~ how are you? sorry i didn’t get back to you, got your mail yesterday….
    Good for you with the new pot SD

  581. Buttercup says:

    Sweety~AKA BG*395953 says:
    October 17, 2009 at 11:19 pm
    GND~ he can read???? wow you got a good one there!!!
    ———————————————————————–
    haha i think thats funny, but its very true- its amazing how many people cant or refuse to read lol,. i second that gnd; definetly a keeper:) lol

    im in hamilton- spend alot of time in toronto though.,i might aswell just move there hehe,. are you in t.o sweety?

  582. Lannie says:

    Should someone who is so well known be keeping a mistress?

    It should not matter if the person is well known or not if this is that person’s preference. In the sugar world discretion is the key and being able to keep the confidence’s of your sugar, I recently signed an non-disclosure agreement which obligated me to not reveal this SD’s identity and I thought that was actually a good thing, I also think that can apply both ways if the SB chooses to go that way.

    Does money and power make people more likely to cheat or seek arrangements rather than traditional dating? Why or why not?

    Money affords one the ability to seek an arrangement and this is often preferred over a traditional arrangement. I think if a person is going to cheat it does not matter if they have money or power. There are some people who are still married on paper and the relationship is over and they miss having someone to share with. I do however know through experience that it is often harder for a person with power and money to find someone without the strings due to their public nature and an arrangement benefits them to have the relationship they desire. In a traditional relationship the other person often wants to be out in public doing the traditional things where in a sugar relationship it is often agreed on in advance the limitations of the arrangement and often in secret.

    Do you take special precautions when dating a sugar daddy or sugar baby? If so, what are they?

    In the past I did not take precautions for my safety as I should of, now I realize this is necessary especially in the beginning. One should have a safety plan in case something goes wrong, make sure they have money and a ticket to return back home if they are away from their home state. Make sure someone you can trust knows where you are and who you are with or at least some clues to identify the person if you go missing. Have a check in plan, I recently used another SB on this site which I have become friends with and let her know I was okay. When she had not heard from me for a few days she even left me an email message for me to let her know I was okay. This is something we don’t always think about but it is very necessary as no matter who the person is, one must thing about their safety.

    Do you have any upcoming dates with a sugar daddy or sugar baby? Care to share?

    I am presently talking to a Pot and hope to meet in a week but now I have made it clear that I will be telling another person where I will be and he is very understanding about the importance of safety especially when first meeting.

  583. Sweety~AKA BG*395953 says:

    GND~ no kidding, all SDs should read profiles! oh your gonna be old girl!!! lol this coming from an old :( SB …. lol

  584. gurlnextdoor says:

    Haha I know, well for any SDs who may be lurking, actually reading a SBs profile (and maybe mentioning tid bits of it in your reply/email) will get big points with her/him.

    Aww Buttercup that sounds awesome! Never been to Canada myself but I heard Niagara Falls was nice. Oh and my birthday is coming up soon too, I’ll finally no longer be a teenager officially. :)

  585. Sweety~AKA BG*395953 says:

    Buttercup~ are you in TO?

  586. Sweety~AKA BG*395953 says:

    GND~ he can read???? wow you got a good one there!!! 😀

  587. Buttercup says:

    congrats msBehavin& Gnd.,*big smile*
    I also just started talking to someone who seems very interested and seems almost great for me; witty, funny,very down to earth & in canada lol., and wants to do diner next weekend,. even suggested taking me to niagra falls etc for my upcoming birthday.,we talked and he askd what i expect in allowance-this is where things are stalled., i said 3-5k., he offered me 1k-2 max// im conflictedd,.,any advice guys?

  588. gurlnextdoor says:

    HAha I know Sweety, I haven’t been this excited in awhile probably because I’ve only had either guys looking for girlfriends or escorts emailing me. And he actually read my profile, haha.

  589. NeOhio SB says:

    New SB in SB. Oops….was typing to fast.

  590. Sweety~AKA BG*395953 says:

    Ms Behavin~hope it works out for you!

    GND~ you go girl

  591. gurlnextdoor says:

    Woohoo! Finally a SD writes me back and he’s in the next city over from mine. :)

  592. Ms Behavin says:

    Jumping up and down!!! Have a pot on another site.Has already mentioned shopping. Hope he doesnt flake. Fingers crossed!!!!

  593. Realistic – on that note, do any of the SDs here require a confidentiality agreement or a monogamous relationship? How do you protect yourself and what is reasonable for a sb to expect to agree to?

  594. RealisticSD says:

    David Letterman’s SB also turned out to be trouble, as her boyfriend was blackmailing him, trying to extort $2 million to keep the affair secret. I can see how a BF or husband of an SB would be inclined to blackmailing the SD, as they feel wronged and lack any emotional ties to the SD.

    NewTXSB, can’t wait till Monday :)

  595. subettegirl says:

    thanks i will check

  596. NeOhio – Thanks! So do you!

    Subettegirl – check your local library. Ours had a copy.

  597. NeOhio SB says:

    New SB in SB: You have mail.

  598. subettegirl says:

    does anyone own the book sugar daddy 101 by Leidra Lawson
    and they want to sell it? i am having trouble finding it used on the internet for a reasonable price.
    let me know if interested

  599. Ms Behavin says:

    NewTX and Ralisitic – Awwwwwww…so nice ditto soooo sweet

  600. Sweety~AKA BG*395953 says:

    CanadianSD EH~ Nice to see a SD from Canada on here, Welcome!

    Yes, There are a lot of SBs on the blog from Ontario…. I’m all alone in Montreal…. 😛

    As for the topic, i’ll answer later….

    Hope Everyone is well….

  601. NeOhio SB says:

    Will check in a bit….heading for a bit of wine and sushi w a girlfriend in town……..

    New TX and Realistic: Soo happy for you both…we need some blog sonnet music playing in the background whenever either of you post about your romance………………..Congrats.

  602. NeOhio – email sent. Thaanks for the suggestions!

    NewTX and Ralisitic – Awwwwwww…so nice

  603. NeOhio SB says:

    New SB in SB: I had very casual home pics, no professional pics. One was a closeup of my blue eyes and sparkly smile…the other a full body shot fully clothed, but with a short skirt to enhance my long toned legs. :)
    Patience is a virtue, just as i had been talking to VC. At times it is frustrating, but as far as filtering through….you can gather alot from phone conversations much more than emails. Im not in a financial bind either, just love the spoiling and traveling aspect, but the perks of having extra disposable funds sure is nice.
    I will take a look at your profile as I hadn’t viewed it yet and relay some thoughts.

  604. NeOhio – yeah! We’ll rock this site :-)

    I’ll send an e-mail. It can certainly wait until you get back.

    I’ve been sending out e-mails, but not really getting many responses. My pot hasn’t proven to be a keeper yet, so I feel I should keep on trying. I’m not in a financial bind, but I’m not here to lurk.

    Do any of you have suggestions for pics? I’ve taken one that is now getting more views, but no emails. Are you posting professional pics? What tips do you have for taking pics at home?

  605. NewTXSB says:

    “RealisticSD: I have seen my new SB four days in a row this week. Looks like she’ll get a break from me for the weekend, but hopefully I’ll see her Monday. But if it’s too much, I hope she’d tell me.”

    Your SB had a blast with you all 4 days. And she can’t wait until Monday! :)

  606. NeOhio SB says:

    New SB in SB: Ive sorted through and finally found the SD that is a keeper and I don’t have any in the “pipeline” per say. No need to at this point….:)My direct contact is angelinabmw ( angel in a bmw). Would be happy to share some insight. And btw: I am in the same age group as you. :)

  607. NeOhio- perhaps we should work together to save ourselves the time and effort as we weed out the wannabes. Any characteristics that are telling of a wannabe? My intuition says this is good, but I’m new in this arena, so I could be way off. Have an amazing time in FL! Bring back some warm weather :-) .

    RealisticSD – Kudos – very astute observations

    Thanks for all the great lingere sites. Absolutely beautiful and unique pieces.

  608. lisa says:

    Good evening everyone

    I think those in the public eye have to be extra cautious about being found out whereas the average person can get away with alot, sometimes indefinately.

    Feeling sickly. Had a rough day at work, my supervisor was being a bitch today. Think i’ve got the flu, I will spread it to a few people at work tomorrow.

    Have a good evening everyone

  609. NeOhio SB says:

    New SB in SB: Congratulations to you and good luck with your chicago migration to meet your SD. Unf. i had a few wannabes from chicago that turned out to be either NEXTS after I got to know them a bit, so hope you have a better experience there. Wishing you the best with your SD date. :)
    Im migrating to Miami with my SD this week for a few days, so will not be on the blog to hear about it, but will try to catch up.

    Realistist SD: Those are definitely poorly planned extramarital affairs gone bad.

  610. Taz says:

    Sugarland is quiet today lol!!

  611. Taz says:

    Very good point Realistic. I think you have shown a clear defining line between one and the other…

  612. gurlnextdoor says:

    Hmm good point RealisticSD. There’s a big difference between a mutually beneficial relationship and a extramarital affair gone wrong.

  613. RealisticSD says:

    The blog question background states that, “Bill Clinton, Elliot Spitzer, John Edwards, and John Ensign are just a few examples of men put under fire for their secret, mutually beneficial relationships.”

    Now, in all honest, they are defining “mutually beneficial relationship” very broadly here. Elliot spitzer was with a high-end escort and Bill Clinton was messing around with a white house intern. Ensign was paying hush money to his mistress’ husband. And Edwards knocked up his mistress and his campaign then paid her hush money. Are these mutually beneficial relationships or poorly-planned extramarital affairs gone awry?

  614. SincereSD – have an over 40 list? :-)

    SD EH – Welcome – it’s always nice to hear the sincere advice our SDs offer.

    Do I need to relocate to Canada? I was there this summer and loved it!

    Should someone who is so well known be keeping a mistress?
    Personally, it’s not up to me to decide this. I do feel that if you keep a mistress, regardless of your status, then a) don’t be shocked when/if you get caught and b) have a back-up plan.

    Does money and power make people more likely to cheat or seek arrangements rather than traditional dating? Why or why not?
    I agree with Gemini. My feeling is men cheat when they are bored, not getting it at home, or it’s a part of the drive that makes them so successful in business and finances. Money only enables better arrangements and the ability to cover tracks.

    Do you take special precautions when dating a sugar daddy or sugar baby? If so, what are they? Still working my way up to that. I can say that being cautious is a very important aspect of dating and sugar dating for me.

    Do you have any upcoming dates with a sugar daddy or sugar baby? Care to share? I have my first sugar date coming up next week….yeah! So far, it’s been a great experience and he is exceeding my expectations I’m still contacting others just to keep the “pipeline” going. I hope that doesn’t sound crass…it’s based more on the advice of other bloggers.
    XOXO
    NSB

  615. Red Scouser says:

    Gemini29 – Reminds me of ‘All Quiet on the Western Front’ arguably and sadly the best war movie ever made. This is coming from an Army Reserve ‘One of the Stans’ tour of duty. Be glad that you are alive and be well with God.

  616. Gemini29 says:

    Should someone who is so well known be keeping a mistress?

    I can’t comment if they *should* be keeping a mistress. But…if you do keep a mistress, don’t be all shocked/horrified/upset one day if/when it does come out! I think the higher-profile people (like, *cough*, the ONES WHO ARE FAMOUS AND ON TV) should think twice about it….paparazzi following their every move, every account of them out and about being detailed in the papers, plus the money motive for other people to turn them in… it would make me think twice about cheating if I were in that sort of limelight.

    Does money and power make people more likely to cheat or seek arrangements rather than traditional dating? Why or why not?
    Nope. You can be poor and cheat and you can be rich and cheat, money doesn’t make the difference. But you can’t be a SD without having wealth.

    Do you take special precautions when dating a sugar daddy or sugar baby? If so, what are they?
    Someone always knows where I am going and I check in periodically throughout the date (bathroom breaks, etc) and when I get back home/where I’m staying, I check in to. Safety safety safety first.

    Do you have any upcoming dates with a sugar daddy or sugar baby? Care to share?
    No. :( It is quiet on the SD front.

  617. CanadianSD EH says:

    Well, for the canucks out there, CanadianSD EH is redundant – SD EH probably says it all!

    Long distance relationships can work and can be a lot of fun – as long as they don’t get tooo tough to schedule (its sometimes tough to balance personal lives, travel schedules, etc.) I’ve pulled it off (for a fairly long time) in the past with a great SB from Toronto area… Vancouver might work better – tons of flights and only 1 hour by air away!

  618. Taz says:

    Hi to you Margo!!

    Can I call you SD EH?…There are beautiful SB’s everywhere! Buut some of those SB’s in Vancouver might be willing to travel to travel to you :)

  619. CanadianSD EH says:

    Hi Taz – well, there are a few of us (genuine) SD’s here in the great white north – I reside in the west (alberta), but, it seems, not far enough west (vancouver seems to have an abundance of very beautiful SB’s!).

  620. SisyphusSB(male) says:

    Margo – There seems to be quite a few of us from Ontario. Are you in Toronto as well?

    Should someone who is so well known be keeping a mistress?
    Why not? Is it wise? Probably not, but where is the fun in being a saint?

    Does money and power make people more likely to cheat or seek arrangements rather than traditional dating? Why or why not?
    I certainly think it makes people more likely to act on their tendencies, but I think those tendencies are either there or not, regardless of wealth. As far as the alpha males go, I’m not sure I would put it quite the same way. I think the inability to be satiated lends itself to the accumulation of wealth and on the flip side, the continual search for the “perfect” companion. I’m not sure I would say there is a direct correlation between this lack of satisfaction and a dominant personality, though there is definitely a relationship.

    Do you take special precautions when dating a sugar daddy or sugar baby? If so, what are they?
    I let someone know or write down on the table of my room where I went and with whom. Most of the men I see are those I’ve met in real life so I have much more confidence regarding my safety and their character.

    Do you have any upcoming dates with a sugar daddy or sugar baby? Care to share?
    One tonight and one Sunday night :) They are dinner dates with 2 different men I have become friends with. They are SDs but do not even realize it. A part of me thinks these are the best kind!

  621. Taz says:

    Welcome to the blog CanadianSD Eh – nice to see a fellow Canadian (SD) show up (are there any others??)! Where are they all hiding lol??

  622. Buttercup says:

    Does money and power make people more likely to cheat or seek arrangements rather than traditional dating? Why or why not?
    I agree with realisticSD; those more financially capable are just as likely/ prone to cheat as the average joe–the only difference is that they have more resources to help them cover their tracks and go beyond the typical lustful one night stand-ish type of cheating and carry out an actual’ mutually beneficial arrangement’.

  623. CanadianSD EH says:

    First time on the blog. I think I am like most SD’s in that I am generally way to busy trying to catch up with business issues to spend much time on recreational blogs (correct me if I am wrong!).
    Agree 100% with Paige about why rich and powerful men cheat — I believe that being “rich and powerful” is not causal – it is the result of being an alpha, driven male. Similarly, alpha, driven males are more likely to pursue and acquire the things and experiences that appeal to them (like hot women).
    Discretion is important for many men (me included) – have had a near miss, but, so far, so good.

  624. Paige says:

    I dont think it is as simple as the fact that being rich and powerful makes a guy more likely to cheat. The two have the same cause, smart, driven alfa males are more likely to become rich and powerful than couch potatoes and such men all down the ages have wanted to enjoy the delights of hot sexy young girls and thats what this site is all about.

    I have been a student for a few weeks now in London and have met several guys considerably older than me and, I’m delighted to say, considerably more wealth than me, not that that would be difficult. All but one were married and they were all very successful in thier fields and though I liked some more than others they were all very charming. Fortunately for me, and them, the most charming turned out to be the most generous and I discovered that nothing turns me on quite like being taken shopping for a slinky new dress, stilletoes and sexy lingerie then being taken to a luxury restaurant wearing all my new cloths to be wined and dined

    I have made a very good girl friend at university who I have introduced to the site and we both tell each other what we are doing and always tell guys we meet about this so they know and we know that someone else knows. he he a lot of knowig going on there.

  625. Margo says:

    SincereSD, Cynthia, Taz – I am from Ontario as well

  626. NeOhio SB says:

    NC Gent: You have just diversified my knowledge on exquisite lingerie….I did view the Koni Art….very unique. If you look at Carine Gilson, it is from Belgium and the lace, the silk are both very unique as well..a step up from La Perla……Appreciate your insight. :) Thank you and have a great day at the lake.

  627. gurlnextdoor says:

    Hello everyone, thought I’d chime in on the questions before heading off to work.

    Should someone who is so well known be keeping a mistress?
    Well I agree with RealisticSD, anyone in politics shouldn’t be for obvious reasons. (Hurts your image in the public’s eye which compromises your job and/or chances at being elected.) Now as for anyone else I see no problem really as long as they know how to be discreet about it and don’t go around flaunting whomever they are with out in public.

    Does money and power make people more likely to cheat or seek arrangements rather than traditional dating? Why or why not?
    I think money and power do because when people don’t have money for some reason they are most likely to settle for whatever may come their way. But when someone has money and power they can be, and usually are, alot more selective in whom they spend their time with. Therefore I think they would be more likely to cheat or seek arrangements. Plus money equals the power to shut people up and be able to do what you want to do without as much fear at being caught.

    Do you take special precautions when dating a sugar daddy or sugar baby? If so, what are they?
    When dating a sugar daddy I try to be as discreet as possible. When I tell my best friend I’m going out with a potential sugar daddy I never tell her his real name but usually give an alias. At the same time though, she always knows where I’ll be and texts me every so often to make sure things are alright. I also usually have a back up plan for if things go sour such as extra money to get away if the need arises. Also always meeting in a public place is a given for me.

    Do you have any upcoming dates with a sugar daddy or sugar baby? Care to share?
    Unfortunately no, wish I did though.

  628. Ms Behavin says:

    Do you take special precautions when dating a sugar daddy or sugar baby? If so, what are they?

    I have a girl friend that always knows where I’m at and who I m meeting. I’m with ECFmaybe no names but bff knows its on my computer.I also let potSD on a firts meet know that someone is watching my back.I also always meet in very public places the first few times.

  629. NC Gent says:

    Hi all — heading up to my lake house for the day…

    I wanted to chime in on the lingerie since there seems to be a lot of talk from the ladies on it…

    Ladies/SBs — google “koni art lingerie” it is absolutely exquisite hand-made silk lingerie from Poland. Interesting history on it too that you should google. Anyways, that is where I always bought lingerie for my SBs.

    Have a great day everyone.

  630. EastCoastFilly says:

    Should someone who is so well known be keeping a mistress?
    Sure they can but they should really cover their tracks or be with someone they know they can trust.

    Does money and power make people more likely to cheat or seek arrangements rather than traditional dating? Why or why not?
    Anyone can cheat but you can’t be a SD without money. I tend to think most successful wealthy men cheat. Thats just how I always thought it was. It seems the more intelligent and powerful men get bored and need more challenges and attention!

    Do you take special precautions when dating a sugar daddy or sugar baby? If so, what are they?
    Absolutely. I have a couple friends who know including my sister! They all think its fantastic and wish they could do it too. At least one person knows my whereabouts at every moment. I won’t necessarily give the mans name out if hes married as I believe he needs his discretion but if anything should ever happen to me my sister knows all the info she needs is right on my computer at home! Luckily no one has yet to make me feel unsafe.

  631. RealisticSD says:

    Should someone who is so well known be keeping a mistress?

    Unless they are in politics, yes. I run into people who know me all the time and have been caught with other women on many occasions, but word has never gotten back to my wife yet. As a result, I have become a bit more careful over time.

    Does money and power make people more likely to cheat or seek arrangements rather than traditional dating? Why or why not?

    Yes. Obviously if you have no money, it’s harder to seek arrangements. As for cheating, you can be dirt poor and cheat, but $$$ sure helps cover your tracks and not get caught.

    Do you take special precautions when dating a sugar daddy or sugar baby? If so, what are they?

    Well, I don’t know if it is special precautions, but I do have to make sure they’re not escorts and that they understand what “mutually beneficial” means, as I have met a good number of attractive young women who are expecting an ATM machine instead of an SD.

    I used to have another account whose purpose was to weed out escorts. When I first joined the blog, I was heavily criticized for that, and I did stop using that account for that purpose. However, as life has it, the account was totally worth is as my current SB actually contacted my other account (my real one is hidden from search due to concerns about the recognizability of my pictures). So at the end having the fake account was well worth it.

    Do you have any upcoming dates with a sugar daddy or sugar baby? Care to share?

    Well, I think I have broken the rules of conduct for an SD. I have seen my new SB four days in a row this week. Looks like she’ll get a break from me for the weekend, but hopefully I’ll see her Monday. I always wanted something more emotionally fulfilling, and I think we share similar views on this issue. But if it’s too much, I hope she’d tell me.

  632. Sexy Biker Babe says:

    I have a married SD in NYC who wants to fly me up there and pay to keep me in a nice hotel for a couple of days. He asked me what I “would need” to travel to him, apart from expenses. He made it clear that he would want to go to the hotel after our lunch meeting. No one knows about my sugar lifestyle, so I feel a bit awkward proceeding. How should I handle this from here… Give him a quote? My profile says my allowance expectations are in the $1k – $3k range per month, and his profile says the same. I guess I could always tell a friend or neighbor in my hometown I was going to NYC on business, and give the name and number of the hotel? What is the best way to approach this? (I asked him to give me a deposit via paypal so I wouldn’t get stuck in NYC without cabfare or a way home, and he seemed agreeable to this.) Thoughts from anyone?

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