9 years ago
Long Term and NSA?

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As most of you already know, ‘NSA’ stands for “no-strings-attached”, and that is the, eh hem, “centerpiece”, of what most of us seek in a mutually beneficial, Sugar Daddy relationship.

There are many reasons we like NSA. It keeps the threat of human ownership out of the picture. It helps stave off hurt feelings, because love is strictly out of the equation. It allows for more spontaneity, more sensuality, and keeps the sex hotter, for longer.

Sugar Babies and Daddies must often toe the line of not becoming too emotionally involved/attached, while also not being too far removed/distant.

Has anyone here ever had a no-strings-attached SD/SB relationship evolve into something different?

Can a Sugar Daddy and Sugar Baby show they care for one another, without seeming like they want a serious relationship? Has anyone here felt the need to cut strings for fear of things getting too close?

How can Sugar Daddies and Sugar Babies maintain a string-less relationship without seeming careless of each others feelings, and lives?

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  25. MMIX says:

    NSA? oh yea? I tell you what.In this day and age most people lack depth and are soulless.We have issuse with internet bullies and young people sometimes taking their lives over mere words post in cyber space.I’m jumping in with full protection just to see how matters of the heart have taken the low road and if anyone is that lonely to actually pay for what should be free.NSA seldom happens maybe if one or both parties are married but,even then thier is some kinda expection from one side to hide the affair and when and if the other party feels like they are being played the exploitation then starts…if it goes unchecked it could be real nasty and not just in bed.You’d better know what your doing..people are kinda wild and sick it could be dangerous for your heart and health!!!

  26. TrophyDomme says:

    Hello everyone! I am new to this site as an sb and have throughly enjoyed reading what everyone has had to say on here! I wanted to know if anyone had any advice on how they have continued their SD/sb relationship successfully and if there is any other advice they may have within this world? Always interested in hearing others thoughts and success stories :)

  27. racheljay says:

    Oy yes, the French and their mistresses, though the minister and mistress sound like oxymorons!

  28. BlondeinNYC says:

    A business, yeah that’s kinda cold. I have an email friend in the UK who’s an escort and she talks about and treats her clients nicer than the way you just described your deal

    Coeddomme I like your philosophy.

    Me, maybe I’m old fashioned or more European in my outlook, I love the stories about the French and Greek Ministers who have both a wife they love and a mistress they’ve had forever. I mean everybody wins! Oh well, what do I know.

  29. racheljay says:

    Good for you coed, its nice to know that we as SBs aren’t completely dependant on our SDs.

    Wow, passions. Sounds likes a traditional Sd Sb agreement, though in that case I would feel more like an escort.

  30. coeddomme says:

    @ printedpassions: Hmm, I’d never thought of treating it like a “business.” I guess I kinda like the lines blurred just a bit.

  31. coeddomme says:

    Well, hopefully, all of the SBs on here, like myself, have solid plan B. I have a full-time job. I pay my bills and save the rest. Any luxuries (shopping, trips, and such) are to be covered by a generous SD.

    I ALWAYS have enough money to cover the essentials.

    If it did become long-term, there’d definetely be money saved away for a rainy day. Gifts are nice but cash && real estate are so much better. If it got to the point where I was a kept woman…I’d definetely be making moves, business ventures, and such, on my own.

    I can stand on my two feet. I just want a SD to sweep me off them.

  32. printedpassions says:

    NSA… been there done that. I think I’m pretty cold hearted. I treat it like a business. Like the original blog states, there are some benefits. The sex is great. But then I don’t do certain things or want the guy to do in that scenario. Don’t ask me how I’m doing. If you’re in it for the fun, then just lets have fun. Asking personal questions about my feelings and life, only create a connection that will want some development. Since that is not what you are looking for, then don’t make me waste my breath. Don’t expect me to “miss” you. If I do, I won’t tell you. It goes back to the previous reasoning. Sharing feelings creates vulnerability that wants to be nurtured by someone else. Unfortunately, we all want it deep down inside, but I am not going to be played as a fool. Although, I have some interesting things to say, don’t expect me to do all the talking. I rather listen. I don’t want to give the guy any reason to get into my head. The less I say, is better for me. Unlike most women, don’t expect me to cuddle with you afterwards. I do enjoy taking naps though. Leave me to myside of the bed, toss me a pillow and here I go to my sweet dreams. And I always leave. I’ve been lucky I’ve found myself in situations where I didn’t have to stay in the place where all the action goes down. I will take that nap, and once i feel refreshed, I leave. Unless keeping me overnight is part of the arrangement then there is no need for me to assume I need to be there. Since I am not given the chance to be needed, then only particular wants can be satisfied and at my discretion.

  33. Gail says:

    It sounds all so sad:( But while we are still her we have got to enjoy! And you are right racheljay…we need to save for the future. Kinda like the movie “Mad Money!!!” Any SD willing to contribute to my “MAD MONEY” savings account? LOL…..

  34. racheljay says:

    To be honest, I know you can’t rely on too many people when it comes to money and possesions. Including jobs nowadays.

    It seems nothing can fully be long term.

    Eventually we sbs will grow old, and participating on this forum will be a thing of the past.

    Eventually that allowance MAY run dry.

    Its good to cherish what we have now. Including saving a portion of an allowance.

  35. racheljay says:

    This topic made me wonder.

    In terms of “long term” ness lol.

    Here are a few things I wonder about.

    What if your relationship with a sd and sb were long term.

    So long term that a sb soon decided to rely on her sd and incorperated his monthly allowance in her budget.

    One particular day, she dug into her account and realized her allowance wasn’t their and eventually she never heard from her sd again?

    And what (if he’s married) a sb was dating her sd and he passed?

    Its hard to believe but when talking long term, this can come into play.

    My Aunt dated an older guy. He adored her but was frugal, unfortunately he wasn’t so tight with his own children.

    He left everything he had in her possesion, including $200 that his children fought his gf over.

  36. Bluewater Sailor says:

    Oh do tell what is the breathing kiss Cre8tor ?

  37. cre8tor says:

    me either

  38. lisa says:

    I can’t stand stale cigarette breath on a guy

  39. cre8tor says:

    the sniff test! lol have you all ever taken the scent of a man and it just didn’t work? and then there is the breathing kiss.

  40. racheljay says:

    Yes, gail is right on.

    Smelling the scent of a man after he leaves brings back great memories.

    Oh, the things pheramones can do.

  41. SuthrnExec says:

    Oh well – thanks a lot Gail – I’ll have to run take a cold shower now!

  42. Gail says:

    Ahhhh…yes…the four spicy senses…touch,taste,smell,sight:) I love it when I am cooking and my SD sneaks up behind me when I least expect and kisses the left side of my neck….ooooh what wonderful chills…or even the smell of his colonge left on my pillow…the taste of chocolate during a succulent kiss…and last of all the huge smile on his face after a passionate am session:) It’s morning time…have to get in work mode! Have a great day everyone!!!

  43. Bluewater Sailor says:

    Interesting question Gail. I have to say that I have had SB’s that really know how to add the spice to a relationship and keep things interesting.

    Of course there is the obvious elements of spice like lingerie and such to keep the intimate part of our relationship interesting but I also think there are so many small things that can be done to add spice to a relationship.

    Sometimes the smallest things like the touch of a hand across the dinner table, the feeling of her hand running up my back while I am standing at the stove cooking dinner, a well timed text message received in the middle of a bad day…all of those little things add so much heat to a relationship that is can sometimes seem as if two people are ready to explode with passion.

    I don’t know but hats off to all those SB’s who have elevated spice to an art form !

  44. Gail says:

    SD jimmyslt…now tell us about the spice!!!…LOL….ahhhh…that was really sweet of her…you are a lucky fella:)

  45. Sugar daddy jimmyslt says:

    I had a wondeful text message today. My SB said she was going to be in the area and ask if I would want to see her. She is so thoughtful. Need I say any more than I had a wonderful afternoon. It was unexpected but I still have a smile on my face.

  46. cre8tor says:

    well, that did it.
    thank you Bluewater Sailor
    Now, where is my walker?

  47. Gail says:

    SPICE…..Hmmm…it would be interesting to hear from our Blog Daddies….what spicy things your SBs have done for you..past and present. Did your spicy experience help your SD relationship develop long-term?….LOL. And please we need to stay within the topic…..Now watch what you say, because this is not the Fantasy Blog.

  48. Bluewater Sailor says:

    We were waiting for you Gail to spice things up for us !

  49. SuthrnExec says:

    That was me ^ – I couldn’t remember my name there for a minute…

  50. Anonymous says:

    Don’t talk so loud – we’re trying to nap over here! LOL

  51. Gail says:

    Botox, curfews,licenses revoked,retirement accounts, assisted living…Hmmmm…yes lively bunch.!!!

  52. Caligirl says:

    Hello everyone….why is everyone growing old?

  53. racheljay says:

    You guys are a lively bunch!

    Thabk you cre8tor for the warm welcome :)

    Hmmm when I get old, I’m gonna be a sugar momma 😀 ill be wise, rich, smiling from ear to ear from the botox and ill have a young hunky sb on my arm too;)

  54. Bluewater Sailor says:

    Cre8 I find it hard to believe someone with such a sparkling blog personality could be that old ! Perhaps I am wrong though…if so how is the food in assisited living ? Sounds like you are in one of those fancy places with no curfew.

    And thank you for so eloquently stating what I was trying to get at “Learn it for peace of mind but keep it to yourself”

    Suthrn…license revoked…that was hysterical !

  55. MSH says:

    Yes, I completely agree with all said. I must have read that wrong or did not have my second latte down by then!

  56. SuthrnExec says:

    Bluewater – that’s funny! That’s why I have to find SB younger then me – SBs older then me have had their license revoked!

    MSH, certainly, SB should check the SD out – just don’t let them know you’re checking them out.

  57. cre8tor says:

    Hmmm Bluewater Sailor might be referring to me! lol But, I have no curfew…that I can remember anyway. I agree with his advice though. Don’t be telling what you know about them until they are comfortable having you know it. Learn for peace of mind but keep it to yourself.

  58. Bluewater Sailor says:

    Not at all MSH I just think people need to be sensitive as to how they make someone aware that they have read such information. In Bella’s case, it sounds as if she had not even met this potential sd yet and I think that is too soon to start making reference to information she may have found in the internet. I know in my own case, if you google my name you find several hundred references to everything from SEC documents to public speaking engagements. And I have had many many people say things like “oh I read what you said at that event last month” and I can accept that since I either have a comfort level with that person or because of the realization that I am speaking at a public forum and expect to be quoted by the press.

    By all means check someone out but before you go back to them with information make sure you are at a place with that person that the information is not going to make them uncomfortable. And I think that sometimes we do not realize the amount of information that is public about each of us. And for someone who may not be in a situation of having constant reminders of it, when someone from pretty much out of the blue say “oh I love the color you painted your house” it can be a shock to the system.

  59. MSH says:

    Bluewater: So are you saying that you don’t think that a SB should be able to check out her potential SD? Just want to know your thoughts on this.

  60. Bluewater Sailor says:

    Like the rule by the way Suthrn but I tend to use the other 7 rule…my age plus 7 seems to be the way to go ! That does narrow the field considerably however since at that age MOST of the SBs’ are in assistend living and unable to go out after curfew.

  61. Bluewater Sailor says:

    Well Bella that was certainly an interesting posting. I have to tell you the first guy sounds like a complete liar to me. Unless he is retiring tomorrow, what the hell do today’s market swings have to do with his current financial situation ? As I am sure you know, you cannot touch retirement accounts until you reach a certain age so unless he is older than 59 and a half does he need that money to use as disposable income ? And if he is younger than 59 and a half and drawing down on an IRA account it does not sound as if he is in the financial position to be someones SD.

    The second guy…well he is either as bigger a liar as the first or just stupid. I cannot imagine for a minute who would take someone on a first date to a party given by a client ! It is no mystery to me that this guy got fired from his job since he seems to think so little of his career that he would invite someone he has never even met to a client function. With all respect to you Bella, he really does not know you that well and were I in his shoes I would never for a brief second think of inviting you to a client function !

    As to your googling him and mentioning the house thing that is scary !! Granted we live in a time where we have all done that one point of another but why would you ever mention it to him ? I can still recall the feeling when my SB told me she had googled me and she thought I owned a nice house but at that point we had known each for a while and were in rather intense relationship. But still that feeling was one of complete shock ! And I have also had friends call me and say “you make too much money” because they were able to google SEC documents that contained my employment contracts and such. There is a wealth of information available out there on all of us but I think we have to be careful how we use it and how we let others know we have looked at such information.

  62. Paige33 says:

    Hmm Bella, the second sounds strange… all these freak events when you’re finally supposed to meet (sounds like a pattern daddiesss!)

    I think you should keep on your search but hold onto the first, sounds like there’s potential down the road– if this economy ever turns back around.
    Fingers crossed! :)

  63. Bella says:

    I think the older SD the better – more mature and can act like a gentleman

  64. Bella says:

    had my first bummer of an experience – had 2 SD’s kinda juggling at the same time – talking with them both – the first lives near me – 20 miles or so. Great older fella – had a fantastic lunch – enjoyed a little walk after and we went our ways (spent 3 hours, in public together, a nice guy) he contacted me a week after to ask that we put it on hold due to the stock market, he was losing his whole retirement in stock downturn. The other I thought for sure was a winner – we talked every day, IM’d usually for a couple hours at a time, had our arrangements set – first date was 2 weeks out and an agreed location (a party of a client of his) – funny how the day the money was supposed to be to me – he contacted me with a “all plans have changed, just got fired by my client” – gave him a day to figure things out and happened to mention that I hadn’t heard an answer on the house. He asked ‘what house?’ I had went online and looked up his name in his county and took a guess which house was his – freaked him out!! He won’t talk to me now!!! Maybe he wasn’t for real, maybe he wasn’t ready to be held accountable, don’t know, but I am not sorry for validating who he was. I’ll do it again.

  65. sugar daddy jimmyslt says:

    Oh no That leaves me out, lol

  66. lisa says:

    ok so no sugardaddies over 70 for me. lol

  67. SuthrnExec says:

    Cre8tor, I hear ya. With me, it’s more about chemistry and the ability to relate to one another. And while generally speaking, someone who is 20 yrs or more my junior may have problems relating to me, there are always exceptions.

  68. cre8tor says:

    Interesting way of doing math but I’m terrible with numbers! Age to me is the way one views and responds to the world. If it works with my views, we’re good. That said though, it seems I attract the younger SD’s. Maybe that says something about my level of maturity? lol

  69. Bluewater Sailor says:

    Never heard of it Suthrn…educate me if you would…

  70. SuthrnExec says:

    I guess I should explain what the 7 Rule is – there is a general rule for the social acceptance of a couple whose age varies significantly – the rule is that the younger of the two cannot be any younger than half the age of the older + 7 years. A 50 yr old man could acceptably be seen in public romantically with a 32 yr old woman.

    For those who wish to be discrete, one key to discretion is not drawing attention to yourself, hence, the rule of 7 comes into play.

    So is the apparent age difference between a man and woman more important or are there other factors that are more important so that the age difference takes a back-seat?

  71. SuthrnExec says:

    Speaking of age… any of you guys familiar with the “7 Rule” when it comes to seeing someone older or younger than you? If so, what are your thoughts?

  72. Gail says:

    At least you tried:) And now you can walk away with your head up:) Ready for the next older SB!!!! ……Hey…I’m older…LOL…..You’d love me…….LOL again….

  73. PrettyMuchOverIt says:

    Hey Chicago…
    Thanks for checking in again. I appreciate your response.

    I just want to be clear on one thing. There was no “arrangement” set-up here. It was merely a first get together to enjoy some good times, some sun, and some sports at the beach. Obviously, I was taking care of everything. However, it was never intended or implied that I was automatically getting anything out of the trip as far as sex or intimacy was concerned. I usually feel that has to be earned on another level…unless, of course, the SB is demanding cash on top…then, we’re playing a different game.

    And while I made no demands on this potential SB, I would at least expect common courtesy allowed to anyone who would take you on a trip or ‘date’. That would include not disappearing from about midnight until the sun came up while not returning calls or texts.

    BTW, Gail, no response to my apology on IM. This one’s history, and that’s probably not a bad thing. Time to start searching profiles again. This time, I may aim a little older. : )

    Thanks again folks.

  74. Gail says:

    Business Transaction….hmmmmm…. Let’s open up the cash register…ChaaaChing!!!!I would love several Benjamins please…..:)

  75. Bluewater Sailor says:

    Chicago I agree with most of what you had to say but I have to take exception to the phrase “the right to demand the full attention of the SB”. Perhaps it is just a matter of semantics but do any of us have the right to demand something of someone particularly in this type of relationship. Certainly he would have the right to EXPECT the full attention of his SB but to demand it seems a bit too strong for me.

    Does he then have the right to demand that she participate in some kinky fetish that he may enjoy (and she may find distasteful) simply because he is footing the bill ? While this is somewhat of a business transaction I think we all have to realize that the other person is a thinking, feeling human being and not someone who is there to blindly follow what we demand of them.

    His date was definitely wrong in her actions and I am sure Angry has learned to be more cautious in the future but making demands on another because you hold the financial strings seems demeaning to the other person.

  76. Chicago SD says:

    Prettyangry,

    Sorry to respond so late to your question to me. Hope you are still reading this. From a SD point of view, you had every right to cancel the plane ticket as well as have her get her own hotel room. I do not feel it would have been childish or immature. Packing her stuff and leaving it out in the hallway is fine by me as well.

    My opinion is that the SD has the right to demand the full attention and time of the SB. Granted every vacation trip with an SB/SD deserve a few hour of alone time and quiet time, but for an SB to run off like that (and unresponsive to txt and calls) is disrespectful as well as not fullfilliing her end of the bargain. Lets remember that afterall this is still somewhat of a business transaction… a SB shows a SD a good time, provide undivided attention and companionship, and the SD in turn also fullfill his part of the arrangement.

    Few SB would argue that if a SD says “oh i forgot my wallet at home” or “let me pay you at the end of the month”, that would be acceptable.

    Prettyangry – you did nothing wrong.

  77. Gail says:

    Good for you:) I know there will be a day I need your advice. So when I do come to you…be real with me…LOL….and I will be ready for your “Lively Personality”.

    You never know by sending her the message…she might be missing you too…(I hope)….Keep Smiling…there’s many SBs waiting for you now!!!

  78. PrettyMuchOverIt says:

    you know Gail, I just took your advice.

    She’s on IM now so I just dropped a short note saying I was sorry for what I did, and sorry it ruined what could have been some more good times for us.

    I didn’t get a response. She does have an ‘away’ message up. She could be busy or away, just done talking…probably the latter.

    Still, my conscience is getting clearer and that’s important.

  79. cre8tor says:

    PrettyMuchOverIt: We’ve all had our bad experiences. I like that you came her to ask for advice or vent.

  80. cre8tor says:

    I want to welcome our new friends…racheljay, Bluewater Sailor (yet another SD). Love the comments.

  81. PrettyMuchOverIt says:

    thanks cre8tor,
    and thank you for sticking up for me a couple times there when things got a little ugly.
    I did notice, and appreciated it.

  82. Gail says:

    Imagine if you did apologize…you have nothing to lose…what if nothing really happened…what if she was just partying with girls or guys… If you can’t stop thinking, I know you really liked her. I am the kind of person that would try everything to make things work.

    I tried to play more than person, and lost the one that I really liked. He wouldn’t take my calls, or answer my e-mails. But one thing I did do was tell him, over and over again “I AM SORRY”. Like fifty times…LOL… He gave me another chance:)

  83. cre8tor says:

    prettymuchoverit: I’m glad you apologized to her indirectly by saying you might have overreacted. It’s unfortunate that she didn’t respond in kind. But, at this point, you have much better prospects I’m sure. The next SB will be lucky to have you. No matter the emotion you expressed in your words (which is quite understandable), I always felt you were a quality person. Much luck

  84. PrettyMuchOverIt says:

    Hi Gail,
    No need to be sorry. All responses were helpful in giving me some perspective. Of course, I called a couple of my closest guy friends, and they were like “F her!”, “what a B”…etc…etc. That’s why I came here for some perspective from people who were giving it a go at this type of lifestyle. I figured you all would understand a little better.

    I’m not sure that she would forgive. I do know she won’t apologize herself. The whole incident was just unfortunate. I can’t stop thinking about how things might have ended up different if I just blew the whole thing off and just went to bed. Would I have found out where she really was? Would we have enjoyed ourselves together the next two days and nights? It seems like all the time put into getting to know each other, and all the good times we had since meeting…all just went up in flames in that five hour period.

    I’m not lying when I say there was no way to see this coming. We were having a great time even that night leading up to it, and didn’t have a single issue for the over 48 hours we were together since we first met.

    You know, that plays back into most of the advice that came down. It should have been a shorter get together. If it ended sooner, it would have ended better.

    Thanks again.

  85. Gail says:

    I’m sorry for my “lively personality” the other nite. You really seem like a considerate person and I truly do feel for you. Have you ever thought of just saying “I am sorry”. Most women forgive:)

  86. PrettyMuchOverIt says:

    just thought I’d drop back in for a postscript.

    I never did cancel the flights, and she never did show-up on them.

    When I arrived back, I noticed her on IM through my phone and reached out to her about returning a few things of her’s I still had, and that I was glad it appeared she had gotten home safely sometime previously.

    Like I’ve said before, I’m usually an overly considerate person and I’ve been carrying guilt about what I did that night/morning when I left her stuff outside our room.
    We both had been drinking, and not that its any excuse, it probably led me to making that rash decision.

    I mentioned to her on IM that perhaps I overreacted to what she did, without actually apologizing. She also refuses to apologize for her actions because of what I did in response (her words). So, we’re at an impasse…which was obviously expected…and just as obviously, we’ll not be talking again. I never did get an explanation for where she went that night, and why she didn’t take my calls or texts…so, the world may never know what really happened…at least I won’t.

    Thanks to those who offerred kind words and sound advice while I went through this. I didn’t use the best judgement in many areas, and I guess I’m more disappointed than anything that things didn’t work out between us after such a promising few months of communicating and after a really fun first night.

    You live and learn…that doesn’t stop.

  87. Gail says:

    Have a wonderful time Much Experience. We want to hear all about it when you get back. Oh how exciting!!!!

  88. Much Experience says:

    Hey everyone,

    What was the theme of this posting again? Oh yeah, Sugar Daddy, Long Term… (just tweaking you guys!) 😉 I’m kind of in that situation now, having been with one SB for a couple of years. It’s officially NSA, which is why I’m also on SA. My SB isn’t ready for a committed relationship, which is a little frustrating sometimes but understandable – she’s in her late 20’s and I’m about 20 years older..

    Anyway, to the Angry/Confused guy, I’ve been in your shoes. It’s a bitter learning experience to be sure, but hopefully you’ll learn as I did that you have to not let your expectations & feelings get out of hand too soon. I agree with the other comments, it sounds like you went way too far out on a limb essentially on your first date. When you started realizing that she was just using you, your lovey feelings turned quickly to hatey feelings, and then you started thinking about revenge and how you could make her feel bad.. Wow, haven’t we all been there? :(

    I’m leaning towards your friend’s interpretation, that you probably got played big time.. That’s OK, it happens to the best of us. Just try to really learn something important from this **about yourself**, so hopefully you don’t get yourself in a similar situation anytime soon. You could blame her for everything, but you made at least a couple of fateful choices on your side.

    Accept the fact that maybe you currently have some social limits and/or blindspots. Try to find someone next time who seems like more of a caring person & who seems less likely to potentially be a sociopathic user, like the woman you chose to go on this trip with.. If you have no idea how to judge, then maybe that’s an indication that you’ve been jumping in over your head. I would hate to add up how many women I’ve been out with that made me feel used & stupid.. But it’s definitely a mistake to let yourself get into that revenge mode. Just walk away right away, and try to learn something from your experience.

    Getting back to my own somewhat long-term SD/SB thing, we might actually take our *first* trip together before long. We’re going to keep it pretty short, & just see how things go spending all day & night together..

  89. lisa says:

    JetSetBaby

    thanks for the info. My phone bill is ok right now and in order to have internet, I have to have a phone for this dsl stuff. My big problem is that my desktop went out 2 months ago and windows won’t start so I have had to use my laptop which I hate because it gets too hot and I don’t have all my stuff on it. I need desparetly to get a new computer or to have someone fix mine but I don’t have the money to do either. I know nothing about computers and it might be a small problem like a swith or a big problem, however it’s cost too much just to have it checked for anything.
    As far as getting a sd to get my the phone thing, I can’t even get a sd to meet me lately. I just got an email back from the guy who wants to have dinner, I dropped some hints about my birthday and all but he is still clueless and now isn’t sure about what day he will be in town. I told him I need to know if I am going to request the day off from work in advance. he said he didn’t want to interfer with my work. He just doesn’t get it, it’s the opposite, I don’t want work interfering with me meeting someone thats why I want to know the day to request off. But he ignored my subtle hints and i’m certainly not going to waste time on a dinner date with some guy who has expectations but doesn’t mention my benefits.

  90. Gail says:

    Haven’t had a SD jealous, nor have I been jealous toward a SD. I suppose I appreciate my time alone, and look forward to the time we are together again. Glen Close….eeeek!!! Need to hide the rabbit….LOL…

  91. racheljay says:

    I think a NSA agreement is best. Especially when a sugar daddie/sugar baby lead seperate lives from eachother. Getting what you both want out of the relationship where both are happy is the most important part.

    Having a sugar daddie can reap tons of benefits financialy as well as sexually for both parties.

    However, sometimes some can’t necessarily control the feelings that have developed when doing so. It’s then where I beleive possible future ties should be broken.

    All I can see is Glen Close’s character in Fatal Attraction heheh. Not the same situation, but it’s definately possible on both sides of the spectrum. Sugar daddies can get jealous too.

  92. Gail says:

    Bluewater Sailor: What a beautiful way of putting things..”lively personalities”….I like that! It nice having you here on the blog. I peaced out:)

  93. Bluewater Sailor says:

    Drama ? What drama Jet ? Just lively personalities exchanging differing points of view…in theory.

    Now Jet if you decide to attend the party we must carve out some for a cocktail together !

  94. JetSetBaby says:

    Hey Lisa.. I know you’ve talked about yoru phone bill being an issue before.. I’m such a loser.. I saw this thing on TV last night and thought of you.. I’d check reviews before but i have some friends that work in the computer industry and have heard of this before..

    I saw another one it was like $20 a year or some bs on top of the thing you buy for your computer.. But from what my computer friends have said there’s something you pay like $250 for and never have to pay any services charges again or any fees.. Not sure about this site but i think its similar.. Might be something worth looking into and having some SD pick up the tab on!!!

    http://www.freetelsystem.com/en/index.asp

  95. lisa says:

    I’m too old to drop off for a while so I need to use the time i’ve got. Anyway I am kind of reluctant to try another serious relationship although I would love to have someone to spend my life with, the problem is men my age , 40, are either divorced with small children ( I do not want to be seriously involved with a guy with kids under 18), or they are single never married looking for a 20 year old to marry and have kids, or they are perpetually single and live in mommy’s basement

  96. lisa says:

    I know and I usually go through periods of alot of messages and find one worth meeting so i’m hoping a good one is coming along. I haven’t had any lasting sucess but I have had a couple shopping trips with the last 2 gentlemen I met so I am reluctant to meet a guy who just wants to meet for coffee and talk, i prefer if they have a plan so at least I know it’s worth my time. The 2 guys that I met were not into me because I never seen either of them again but at least they had made plans with me and kept their word.
    This latest one wants my phone number so he can call me when he gets in the country and to my town so we can meet. I’m sorry but I don’t like to be left hanging, I have other things to do on my days off and would like to know a general time and day rather than just have him call me and talk and meet just like that. As I said he wants to talk first and see there is anything lasting before he helps out, well I’m not available for a free trial period, sorry. lol
    the gentleman that wants to take me to dinner next month, well I sent him an email hoping to get some info out of him and hint at the idea of bringing me a little gift or something as an arrangement is more than just dinner and also it will be my birthday week, it would be only polite to give me a gift.

  97. JetSetBaby says:

    How psycho is that? Well i’ve been on SA for about 1.5 years after my last successful relationship ended. I met two guys.. One that basically started stalking me so i changed my # and one that idk.. he was nice but wasn’t what i was looking for. So it definately took time. I take long breaks after months of BS and if it doesn’t work with this guy, my gf and i might go to the Sugar party.. If that doesn’t work. I’m probably going to drop off the market for awhile again… So many fakers and bsers!

  98. lisa says:

    Good luck to you JetSetBaby!
    I have had a train of less than desirable offers come my way. Just something not right about any of the 5 that contacted me. this last one is one of those that I hate that state they live in my city, and then it turns out they live in another country! the ones I come across are the same in they want one thing, but they aren’t willing to give anything in return.

  99. JetSetBaby says:

    Eek! Looks like i missed a lot!!! I wont even join in the drama.. haha!!! Anyway i’m meeting a gorgeous asian sugar daddy prospect this weekend and couldn’t be more excited! I so hope it works out cause he is gorgeous and sounds like he’s looking for the same things as i am! I’m sick of SD’s that just want one thing! Bout time i start finding some that i’d actually like to be seen in public with! Yay! So i’m excited! Wish me luck!!

    XO

  100. lisa says:

    I try to be very careful in my meetings , always in a public place but since I don’t have a car, I have to get myself to the place and be prepared to come back on my own, which means no after dark meetings. If the gentleman is ok I often get a ride home, you know the type that are normal and seem to take there time on the meeting. If I meet a guy who is anxious to get me to leave the meeting place with him, I never do that as my safety comes first and there are plenty of places to eat where I meet him, no need to leave immediatly to go somewhere else.
    I just think it’s easier sometimes to avoid a situation than to risk it. I have never regretted not meeting someone as I usually find a more disturbing side of them afterwards, for example they can’t angry when I change my mind, they have called me up and called me names, that assures me that I made the right decision not to meet them. But then I have had some meetings with guys that although they were ok, they were not my type (bad teeth, bad manners, cheap, etc) and I wish I just fall through a trap door in the floor. and I wish I would have just listene to myself and not met them.
    I did meet a man on another site last year and we went out 3 times and I decided I didn’t like him, but 5 months later I decided to give him a chance and I was glad I did, I had a great time with him, but after a few months he just dropped me and said he couldn’t date anymore. that is one of the reasons I am no longer looking for a serious relationship. Not worth the investment only to be dumped.

  101. lisa says:

    ok I heard from the gentlemen who wanted to meet, the one that wanted to establish something first before making any kind of arrangement. So I wasn’t exactly thrilled about him but didn’t think any harm in meeting him. However as I said, no photo of him and he has never told me what country he lives in and is vague on a lot of things I ask. Well I got a message from him wanting to talk when he gets into town, and he mentioned that he hoped I could understand him because his english was not very good. Sooooooooo I don’t think I even want to spend one of my days off meeting him if he can’t even communicate clearly, how can one talk arrangement with someone who might not understand terms or words?? I feel bad about changing my mind so late but as I said it kind of bothered me about meeting someone that was from outside the US and now that it is obvious that is english is limited (i didnt’ notice it in any of his emails though) I don’t think I want to put myself in a situation as he might be a scammer or something. Plus just think how much stuff he could be hiding since I can’t exactly check him out.

  102. Bluewater Sailor says:

    Lisa Lisa ! Nothing ventured, nothing gained ! His mentioning that the only thing he does not like is pain may be his way of just saying that he is sexually open minded and keep in mind that if you are meeting in a safe, public place, no matter what his kinky fantasy may be you are free to walk away at any time !

    I would never suggest that anyone place themselves in harms way but if you are careful, meet in public and have no expectations the worst that could happen is he buys you lunch somewhere and you leave.

    If I may offer a personal observation. I once invited a potential SB to fly to a city I was visiting to have dinner with me. Offered to get her a room at my hotel so there was no committments or expectations. Probably a little impulsive of me (since we had spoken all of once on the phone for about 2 minutes) and perhaps a little risky of her since she knew nothing about me either.

    Without boring you with the details, the dinner turned out to be one of the most magical evenings of my life. Conversations and thoughts were offered, food and great wine shared, laughs…in short an evening I will remember until the day I die !

    Sometimes it is a good thing to just say “What the %$# ?” and go for it

  103. lisa says:

    Thanks Blue water sailor
    I try to keep positive and my respondents seem to come in groups and I have to weed through alot to get one. Not being too picky but most are just not practical or I just have an uneasy feeling. One guys mentions not being into giving or receiving pain, this makes me wonder why he would mention this in his otherwise bland profile. Makes me think he might be into something sadistic.
    Anyway still waiting on the right one. Just need someone to help me out a little and have the kind of relationship I had for many years with the married gentleman a while back but with a boost of financial help.

  104. koreanprincess says:

    awww thanks bluewater sailor……yea no point of being down and bitter…….i know couple of acquintances from the site that is doing well….and it didnt happen over night!

  105. Bluewater Sailor says:

    KP you made some great comments above and two of them I think are of particular interest. In one of your earlier posts, you alluded to the fact that one has to keep their chin up so to speak because everything can change in a moment. And Lisa, I think as far as your situation is concerned that could certainly be the case. Further to that point though I think that no matter what the circumstances, you have got to carry yourself like you are the greatest thing since sliced bread.

    Lisa, I don’t want to lecture you nor do I presume that I can put myself in your place but I do think that despite the hardships you have endured you have got to conduct yourself as if you are a true gift to the man who finds you. Having looked through many profiles on this site, I think I can generalize and say that most of the women here are more than average looking. And I am sure Lisa that you fall into that category as well. And judging from your writing you have insight and thoughtfulness that a lot of people in this world do not posses. Right there are two major assets that any man (from this site or not) should be thrilled to find in a woman so exploit those assets !

    Hold your head high woman you are a thoughtful, attractive woman with a lot to offer the right person. Give it time he will come !

    KP I completely forgot what your second point was that I was going to comment on (another senior moment is upon me ! ) but I think the blog has heard enough of my rambling for now.

  106. lisa says:

    I do like my job. It;s a lot of physical work and maybe lower than my previous job but it pays better and there is NO STRESS! My last job was so stressful and I had a manager that didnt’ like me from day 1. She came to the company arouond the time I started and all the nice people quit because they couldn’t stand her. I held on as long as I could but could not deal with the lack of appreciation, no payraises, more work, long hours with no break or lunch because we were short staffed and no one could watch my department.
    I work independently now, although there are 3 of us, we do our work and are not watched over and I have few minutes to ease into my work day rather than walk in the door and have customers jumping at me before I had a chance to clock in. Also I don’t have to work nights anymore. At my last job I had to beg a ride home every night because it was too late when I got off to take the bus and the boss would not give me day hours because she didnt’ care if I had trouble getting home. This new job is 100% better except for they cut my hours down to 20 but that is the way it is in all of retail. And oddly I prefer days off during the week rather than weekends because buses are so undependable and stop early on weekends making it difficult to go anywhere. I like having every friday off though as it is my favorite day.
    I have came across plenty of sds that want and can meet during the days or evenings but it’s just a matter of finding one that is serious and that doesn’t give me that bad feeling that I should avoid them, you know that feeling you get when your inner self is warning you.

    Well goodnight everyone. Going to bed now as I have to be up at 7 am.

  107. koreanprincess says:

    Lisa- yea I feel you…..so do you like your job? are there any more job options that will pay you more and free you on the weekends? I think that would be better for you…

  108. cre8tor says:

    Sugar Family Baby: you must be my secret love, gay or not. Why, pray tell, do you need a premium membership? A sweet young thing like you should have no problem finding what you seek. But, then again, I have always been told the same thing all the way from your age to mine! I guess its all timing and attitude. Strut it honey but not too loudly.

  109. lisa says:

    I lived with my parents for several years after my divorce. I was stuck because I had a new baby and couldn’t afford to live on my own. I struck out on my own a few years ago when my daughter got older. Actually I was asked to move out because I was trying to date after being divorced for like 13 years. Anyway I started an affair with a married man that lasted over 3 years and it was either give him up and have my every move followed or move out and have a life of my own. But it has been a struggle ever since. I am on my own and on good terms with family but there is a wedge between us that will never heal because i chose to have a life. My daughter was growing up and had her own life and I just wanted to date and start slowly. The relationship with the married guy was great because he could only get together during the work week so we seen each other weekly and he was wonderful. He has since recommitted himself to his marriage (he is getting older) but he did come to my rescue last month when I had no rent money after being unemployed for over a month and having a delay in starting a new job because the store I was going to work at was out of power and closed because of hurricane Ike.
    Anyway I would prefer a married one so that there is a natural limit on things but a single one would be fine if he had a flexible schedule. I work weekends but am off every friday and also have my saturday evenings free.

  110. koreanprincess says:

    ohhh okay…yea a married sd would be good for you then…cuz i know most of the sds that arent married are always looking to get away for a weekend or a week! hopefully you will find someone local soon! ya never know…i remember this chic was in a horrible situation where she ended up living with her dad..she was depressed all the time…then she found that one person…and everything changed…she went from broke to having her own apt and mercedes…so keep your hopes up! you will find someone….she been looking for like 2 years….

  111. lisa says:

    I don’t work many hours so I have time in between and a couple days off during the week. For example this week I have 2 days off and all afternoon on sat and sun as I get off at 1 pm and then on the days during the week I work usually from morning till mid afternoon. I’m home all evenings and lots during weekdays which would work fine with a married sd who can only meet during weekdays and daytimes, which alot of the married ones can’t meet on weekends anyway so I have alot of availability but when it comes to traveling and weekend trips, I would have to request off from work in advance to do that and of course I would n’t get paid. I do live in a large city and near alot of places and meeting is not a problem as I have a favorite meeting place that is minutes from me. Leisure commuting is easy but when it comes to day to day comutes to work or if I went to school, that is a little more difficult and I try to always work in my neighborhood which has alot of stores so it’s easy to find work here. so basically I have time for a sd almost any evening, a couple days anytime and late afternoons when i get home from work. Just no sat or sun mornings or afternoons.

  112. koreanprincess says:

    yea….i think its your location and time restraints that is not good for a sd….so if a sd wants to see you…when can he see you? u said you work on saturdays and sundays?

  113. lisa says:

    I leave my own to negotiation to make myself open to more results. But I would love to find a gentlemen who would give me at least a thousand a month and take me to nice dinners and an occasional trip (i can’t travel much because although I only work like 20 hours a week, I work 5 days a week and always on sat and sun. I won’t qualifty for vacation time (1 week off) for almost a year. I enjoy movies and dinner and love shopping.
    I find myself about 300 short of making my bills at this time so if I had at least a thousand, I could save a couple hundred and have 500 to enjoy. Of course I would love to find a sd that would give me more. I do not want to be in a situation however with a sd that wants to see me all the time, several times a week, etc. I value my alone time (being alone alot is my vice, I love being able to just relax at home). I would like to have a guy to see once a week or a few times a month. Local would be more convienent but if he was from out of town and came in town occasionally, that would give the peace that he wasn’t just going to show up unexpectedly when I look like crap or if I’m spending time with family or friends.
    I would like to find a sd that would give me a little extra for my daughter so I could treat her more and of course I would never tell her were it came from.
    Now I have had a couple offers from sds that wanted a possible live in situation or wanted me to relocate. I could never do this as I don’t want to be in a situation where I am totally dependent on someone because when it ends, what happens next? I have had to start over too many times already so i want a sd just to keep me secure in my finances and so that I can enjoy life and a little company now and then. If I ever lived with a man, I woud have to know him well and he would have to committed enough to me to be married as my parents would kill me if I ever lived with a guy out of marriage. I’m over 40 but I still need my parents respect

  114. koreanprincess says:

    ugh maybe i will lower my expectations

  115. koreanprincess says:

    hmm…yea that school thing is out the question….but im sure you can find someone with a digital camera…..if you do that….and take pics…I can photo shop them for you. I have a great program. did you put a price range around how much you are asking for? you dont seem to ask for much…so I am surprised and sd’s are not grabbing you…I know PLENTY of SD’s on this site that will pay between 1500-2000 a month for cash allowance and they pay for trips and dinners twice a month…they lead separate lives….i couldnt take that…it wasnt enough for me….but I know 3 or 4 girls on this site that settles on that amount and is happy with it. lol i am very demanding and expect alot…cuz i want a sd to take care of me in which i can take care of myself and repay my parents for their generosity…

  116. lisa says:

    I don’t have anyone that I can tell about this sd stuff too and no one who has a good camera or photoshop. I am way over 18 but I still love to shop. I had always hoped on some of the regular dates I had that some guy would take me shopping but it was always just coffee. But on this site at least we can be a little more upfront and yes I had 2 shopping trips 8 days apart! It was great but that was over a month ago and now nothing.
    I did go to technical school when I was younger but after finishing and having trouble finding work and ending up not being able to pay the 5000 loan all back ( I got tired of paying it because after all all I ended up with was a telemarketing job with high school kids, my school didn’t train me on the equipement that I needed to know how to use, it was in a small town I grew up in and when I moved to the city , employers didnt’ care about my certificate, because I was not experienced in their equipment. Well I have big debt on that and over 30k in credit card debt that I haven’t paid in 2 years, so no loans for me. And I don’t have a car either and can’t get to the colleges in my city as they are not in my area, so if I was to take some classes, I couldn’t work at my job as much because I cannot be out at night for any reason and my job is a daytime one. And the bus system here did away with daily and weekly passes and it’s all pay as your ride which means every time you get on a bus, you pay.
    I just need a little extra, not a lot, an occasional shopping spree, some help with groceries (I don’t have much money for groceries and since I have to walk or take a bus, I have to buy lightweight stuff, no value packs, or anything.
    I wouldn’t mind meeting the guy in a few weeks for dinner if he would give me a few hundred to help me out, or as a kind of birthday gift, that way I could pay my electric bill for november which is going to be huge, hurrican Ike caused the power compnay to estimate rather than read meters and I know my bill was underestimted by about 100 dollars along with this months bill of about 100 dollars so it’s going to be a steep bill, plus we have to pay for all the repairs that had to be done here even though my power was only out 13 hours.

  117. koreanprincess says:

    southernexec…i know….we will see….either way i have backup plans lol! he is coming to visit me next saturday…..

    Lisa-wow thats good! i never had a guy take me shopping…i never wanted too though…maybe if i was 18…lol!! hmmmm well….its a little too late to suggest this but why dont u go to school part time? one of my friends did that to get financial aid…..he got 4000 in a week…he only go to class like 3 times a week. i know exactly what u mean taking time off….i dont have a car and i go to school by taking the bus….i mean fo real all because you are older does not mean you are not worth 10k or older…i saw the real housewives of atlanta…this lady who is like 40 years old with 2 kids…have a sugar daddy….he bought her a 80,000 car on the show just cause she asked him…she is not that pretty if you ask me…anyways yea maybe you should get new pics…they always help! u can’t find anyone with a digital cam? if you do, u should find someone to photoshop them for you…they make the biggest difference..i own one…

  118. lisa says:

    I have 3 pictures up and I change them from time to time. i have my face in all of them an a few body shots, no bikinis or lingerie photos though. I don’t have a good camera so they are cell phone shots, not that great but then again I don’t have anyone I can ask to take pictures of me for my profile. I am direct but not demanding in my profile. And have amount negotiable because I know i’m not worth 10k a month as I am older.
    I have actually met 3 younger sds and one older and actually the one that was older was the only one that didn’t take me shopping. I have met one sd that lasted a month that gave me an allowance but he moved away.

    I don’t know that I would spend an entire week with some guy for only a thousand dollars, that is without he included perks like shopping, dinning out, entertainment, etc. I wouldn’t want to sit around alone with him for that lenghth of time. I couldn’t take off work awhole week anyway and I do have pets to consider. the younger one could be a fake as I have yet to meet a guy who will put up that much cash at first. My first sd meeting that turned into a very short arrangement netted me a few hundred dollars, the next one was just a coffee date and talk of an arrangement and then he stopped writing but today several months later is on the site everyday, the next and last 2 I have met took me shopping, not big shopping, but a few hundred from each which was worth my time because I was unemployed at the time and getting to buy new clothes and accessories and expensive makeup did make me feel reallly good.
    Now I am looking at this dinner date guy and am going to try to make conversation with him over the next weeks and see if I can stick some financial help into the deal and after all the week he wants to meet for dinner is my birthday week.

    Last year I was down on my birthday because I had no money or presents and then I met and started dating a guy a week later and he took me on a big shopping spree on our first date (well it was actaullly our fourth date as I had met him 5 months earlier on a regular dating site and we had been outa 3 times over a weekend but I just wasn’t into him at that time but decided to give him a chance and it made for a very good 5 months, that is until he just didnt’ want to date anymore, too married to his job

  119. SuthrnExec says:

    koreanprincess, I am sure it’s true with SDs (the rest of you SBs can verify this) just as it is with everything else in life – if it seems too good to be true, it may be a dud. I don’t want to discourage you – just be careful and hang on to your expectations.

  120. koreanprincess says:

    well if it makes you feel better…I had a sd drought for like 4 months…no email or nothing….but I am meeting one in 2 weeks ….I really like him…..he is this sexy ass italian young guy (even younger than me) trying to get to “know me” he dont want sex…but if we click he said he will pay off the rest of my tuition and credit card debt that adds up to 10,000. I checked him out but I’m scared..lol…cuz he is too good to be true…but i also got a proposition from an older man who offered me a thousand to spend a week with him…..but im putting that off until i see the younger…I will let you know if the cute younger is a fake….cuz sometimes i think he is!

  121. koreanprincess says:

    Hi Lisa! what does your profile pic look like? or do you have one of your body? I notice that I get alot less emails from guys when I hide my face and show my body….and are you upfront on your profile?

  122. Gail says:

    Hello Blondie and Lisa:) This is the day after….LOL…calm…LOL…

  123. lisa says:

    Hi everyone. Just got home from work. Got an email from the creepy sd again. talks alot about sex and everything, nothing about allowance and closes his email Licks. Too upfront to me. It puts you in an akward situation when you meet someone who has that on their mind before they meet you, doesn’t sound much like a gentlemen but rather someone who is looking to get some and probably has nothing to offer.
    Sd drought here again. 5 new ones pop up and all are strange.

  124. BlondeinNYC says:

    What he said! LOL

  125. Dysert says:

    Confused/Angry, sorry you went through such a bad experience. Glad to hear you didn’t lower yourself with petty actions like canceling her ticket.

    If I were you I would take some time to think about things and try to learn from this experience. We all go through disappointments and the key is to ask yourself how you can do it better next time. First, 21 is really young. I’m not saying all 21 year olds are flakes or as inconsiderate as your date, but it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to tell you that your more likely to be dealing with immature behavior at that age. Second, like the guy said above, it might make more sense if you don’t carry the expectations of sex on the first visit. I don’t care how steamy the e-mails are, you have absolutely no idea what you’re really dealing with until you meet her in person and both of you can see what kind of chemsitry you share. Third, keep a little more detachment until you know there is something there. You obviously wanted this more than her and that’s why you’re so frustrated. Somewhere along the line you lost your objectivity with this girl and couldn’t see she wasn’t into you until it was too late.

    If I were you I would try to meet a woman for the first time in a little more relaxed, low key environment. Think of it as a cross between a casual first date and a job interview (gotta keep the logical/objective part of your brain active). A little food, a little conversation and no expectations. Make sure you both are willing to give what the other wants/needs before you let things get physical. And if it’s meant to be, then you won’t have to try so hard because it will just happen naturally.

  126. Caligirl says:

    That was me, Caligirl that posted:)

  127. Anonymous says:

    Your right SuthrnExec. I almost forgot. MNF!!!! I appreciate your thoughtful mind!

    I have also had met many SDs that turned out to be great friends. I have a SD friend that has been my rock during my tough times. And now that he is going thru alot of personal problems, I will be there for him. It’s a great feeling you when you know you have SD & SB friends that will just listen and not pass judgement. I met a great SB friend on here… Ms.V. She is a real person. I absolutely love her and I will remain friends with her till the day I die. So yes my NSA experiences have turned into something else, better I think:)

  128. SuthrnExec says:

    Well, there is MNF – can’t forget that!

  129. Caligirl says:

    Good Morning Everyone,

    Nice to hear from the SDs. As always, the dayafter calm, non-emotional charged responses:) I just love this blog!

    I don’t know what I was thinking last nite. Clearly its not Sunday,more like Monday. No football I must have been still sleeping last nite at the end when I posted.

  130. SouthernGent2 says:

    PrettyAngry – I just skimmed some of your first message and some of the replies. I can’t really add too much to everything said here. She simply was not very considerate of you and the efforts you took. But I guess from my experiences, my only question would be why you did so much so soon without knowing her better? Maybe I’m just slow with things, but I would not feel comfortable myself taking a sb on a trip like that until I really knew her well. And by well I mean a few dinners, then a few one night local hotel stays to make sure I can deal with any quirks she may have. And its a two way street, as she should be comfortable with me as well.

  131. cre8tor says:

    bluewater sailor muah

  132. SuthrnExec says:

    So I think we have determined that “No Strings Attached” doesn’t really mean “No Strings” since we humans are emotional beings. I think most people – with few exceptions – still wish to be treated with respect and dignity and those strings cannot be detached. Maybe that’s really not part of the definition of NSA, but maybe it should be so that it serves as a reminder that no matter what our situation, we all wish to be treated with respect and dignity – and the assumption is that honesty would be included with those two by default.

    As to a NSA relationship evolving into something different, I have two great friendships that came out of a NSA relationships. One has evolved into a mentoring relationship where the SB is becoming a very confident and sought-after talent in the financial industry in Chicago. The other is just a great friend. I’ve also cut the strings on a relationship that seemed to be getting to close – the cutting was by mutual agreement, BTW.

    Anyone else?

  133. Bluewater Sailor says:

    My goodness what a thread ! Angry/Confused you have to take a moment here and think this thing thru. I believe some of the people on here responding to your situation have indicated that it would be childish to cancel her flight. While I know it is easier said than done, I have to agree that the best course of action is to fly back as planned, give her the cold shoulder at the airport/on the plane, act as if nothing happened (in essence remain a gentleman) and get on with things.

    And I do have to agree completely with whoever voiced the opinion that you never should have planned an extended trip with someone you had never met. They say you don’t really know someone untill you travel with them and in my own experience I have travelled overseas with long time friends (other males like myself) and have seen our long standing friendships barely last through the trip together. In short, travel with someone when you know them well !

    Personally I have flown SB’s to meet me for dinner and have arranged seperate rooms for them. In one instance, the SB I was meeting turned out to be such a gem that I asked her to stay an additional day (which she did) and it gave our “relationship” a wonderful starting point. Never for a moment though would I have thought to ask her to meet me for more than a day or two.

    One last thought on this whole thing, I have to mention that I think it is sad when we debate/discuss these issues and sides seem to be drawn along gender lines. Comments like “he will listen to another guy” do not advance the discussion but merely drive a wedge between us. While I do understand that certainly men and women think differently about such subjects (and wouldn’t the world be boring if we all thought the same) when the subject dwindles down to side taking by gender it sadly reminds me of a time when restaurants had sections for “white” and “colored”.

    As my teenage daughter is fond of saying “Peace out everyone”

  134. Caligirl says:

    Pretty Confused & No Longer Angry:
    It’s nice to hear that you took the high road. Emotions you can make think and do crazy things. Despite all the feedback you recieved, positive or negative, you must agree everyone has different opinions on your problem. I don’t see you as a bad person, perhaps if we could see you and hear your story in person, versus reading it, more SB ‘s would have more compassion for you. Lessons are learned.Enjoy the games.

    Chicbaby:
    Best of luck to you. Two years and two good sd’s experiences, how lucky you are. You are very mature for your age and educated too. You will definately be missed. By the way went to the Cupcake Boutique…you were right Yummy!!!

    Suthrn Exec: You are a prince as always! Watch out! the ladies mean business. They are really looking for you and really want to take you away.

    BlondieinNYC and Gail: Thank you for sharing your feelings. Free speech for everyone. Sensitivity is a good thing, but can be over-dramatized.

    Lisa: You are attracting lots of SD’s. Too bad they are not what you want, but you still keep smiling, and that’s a good thing.

    Talking about moderating, can you imagine how slow and boring the blog will be again. Hmmmm…no one will write, and no one will read their post at least until a day later anyway. Oh what fun….and then there’s football tommorrow. Let there be sunshine on everyone’s shoulders.

  135. Sugar Family Baby says:

    Good Night ALL sugar family!!! Let’s have some sweet dreams and hope for a decent, … day tomorrow. I am worried about a lot, and could use some sugar in my life about now… I always find this blog interesting. Very! I don’t want to see anyone get hurt, and leave. again! 😀 Very good convo this weekend, and I hope all goes well with Mr. Sports fan, and his gone with the wind SB. Now maybe there are some profile text changes in some of our futures… I know I’ve got some things I think I’ll need to clarify just to avoid some of the road blocks others have discussed, and from now on, I’ll be adding more of my ‘two cents’ here myself.

    Right now, I’m on a 2 + week sugar dry spell. No new messages in my inbox, and my premium membership expired. I dunno.

    Plus, I’m kind of different, compared to the rest speaking up so far… I’m a gay sugar baby male. So, I’ve got a whole different pool of SD’s to navigate, but I cherish the keen insight of many here, especially you cre8tor! I really hope we do get more SD’s of all orientations speaking up, cuz if we could hear from more, than maybe i’ll have a better idea of how to enhance my SD campaign. It’s about information gathering as far as I’m concerned. Hell, if someone doesn’t like what someone has to say, just think of it as some secret info you’ve gathered from the ‘enemy’ on an annonymous blog! Heck, that’s the best deal out there!

    Good night folks, especially to all my fellow babies struggling out there, working so f**ing hard, being mis-understood, under appreciated, and more. Sleep cozy and warm, but not hot and bothered 😉

    Keep it lit.

  136. BlondeinNYC says:

    Gail, massive hugs your way. I watched it on HBO on Demand – the free version of HBO demand, and ooooh myyyyy! You’re going to want to freeze frame it :)
    Let’s hope I get an email from a darling REAL man tomorrow.
    Night all!

  137. Gail says:

    You are welcome Blondie…Watch next week it will be your turn.Real men are here…just gotta be patient. So I guess Eastern Promises is on video. I will tell you after I pick my mouth up off the floor, what I think. Have a nice evening everyone! Tommorrow’s another day.

  138. PrettyConfused says:

    yes, PrettyAngry back…had to change the name because I’m really not angry anymore.

    I went to tonight’s baseball game alone, and again met so many fun people and had a great time. In fact, I’m thinking of using some personal/vacation days and staying down here to catch the first two games of the World Series Wednesday and Thursday.

    Anyway…I was pretty shocked to see so many comments since I left, and even more surprised to see venom directed at me. It has left me ‘pretty confused’…

    I honestly came on here to vent a little, but also to look for advice. I’m a very considerate person and was overcome with anger and frustration from what had happened. I felt guilty about leaving the things outside of my room, and kept second guessing myself that maybe that is what led to everything else. I’m not sure where I was “whining”. I actually wrote a couple of times that I wasn’t going to let this ruin my time, and that I was having plenty of fun anyway, and keeping a positive attitude.

    Maybe if I just chilled and let her roll back in at 5:30 a.m. things would have been different. But, at the same time…wouldn’t that be enough disrespect for me to end things? I was also worried for her safety, and however I might be implicated in it. What if she was mugged or went missing? Wouldn’t I be a prime suspect? Even a return of a text or call that night before 4 a.m. might have prevented me from doing that.

    First of all, I need to respond to some of NYC’s comments.
    You alluded to the fact that some of this weekend’s trip included attending sporting events as a reflection of my maturity. In fact, she is a former outstanding athlete and huge sports fan (which is one of the reasons I thought we clicked before the meeting). We planned the trip here at this time because of all the things going on here. This girl is a bigger NFL fan than I am, and even knows more about football than me. Also, before she disappeared on me, we hadn’t attended a single sporting event. I swear to God on my life that I never did a single disrespectful thing, and only treated this girl with class and dignity until a few hours after she left that night. I errored in judgement, yes. I have learned a lesson that taking a trip with someone as a first meeting is probably not a good idea at all. You also questioned my decision to meet with someone of this age. That may be something I also need to reconsider. However, it would seem to me there are others more mature in their early 20’s who would enjoy my company without this type of drama. Still, I get that there are dangers in that.

    I haven’t cancelled her flight, and I never indicated that I didn’t respect any of the women’s opinions in here. I came here looking for opinions. I can see now that there is nothing to gain in cancelling the flight, and that it would be only out of spite and anger. However, many of you have said that I may be leaving her “stranded”. I seriously doubt that. One way flights are only around $200 back to where we came from. I’m sure she could come up with that, and a taxi to the airport if it really came down to that. However, I can’t believe that could possibly come to that.

    What still has me baffled is what happened that night she left the room.
    Did she meet someone just randomly on the beach or on the way there? That seems pretty unlikley since it was after 12:30 a.m., and after we walked back from the bar together on the beach to the hotel, it was pretty desolate.
    A good friend of mine suggested that perhaps she had a “friend” fly down here to meet her…and, that at some point she planned to meet this “friend” after he arrived. Its possible he flew in that night, and she made arrangements to meet him at our hotel. The late night swim was the excuse to get out of the room and rendezvous with him. I had mentioned earlier that she was on her phone texting constantly that night. At some point, she was probably going to break it to me that she had another friend around, and also wanted to spend time with him…perhaps slowly leading to our separating. This makes sense to me as a more likely scenario. It also explains why she would just pick up her things and go without a knock on the door. In effect, I just made things easier on her.

    I guess there’s not much more to say about this. I somewhat regret posting here given some of the rude comments sent my way that I’m not sure I deserve. I guess the important thing is, you’ve convinced me not to cancel the flight. I’ve decided to take the high road.

    Best of luck to you all.

  139. BlondeinNYC says:

    Gail, you sound like such a doll! Thanks for the good thoughts, I’d love to meet a real man, instead of guys who think I’m an escort…lol
    BTW- tell me what you think of the movie after you see it!

  140. Gail says:

    No worries Blondie….your day will come. I have been there before. I get them in spurts just like Lisa. Some wonderful SD will capture you:) And then what will you do? Be off the blog and be happy:) LOL….I talk to everyone. Its funny I have more men SD that are just friends. And they tell me all about their dates. Just enjoy yourself!!!!

  141. ChicBaby says:

    Sometimes this blog is very slow, and other times it seems to get a little volatile! I never know which to expect.

    To be honest, I feel that a lot of people on this blog openly share their feelings, rants, problems, complaints, etc, but when some one else has a problem they can only argue with them about conflicting ideas or repeat back their old stories of woe.

    I am a twenty-one year old. My previous SD was in his early 40’s. I can tell you up front that I was physically attracted to him. He was also a very kind man, who gave me some great advice, and who I enjoyed conversing with. We had a great relationship, and still stay in touch from time to time. So, although I in no way condone anything this specific other 21 year old has done (at all!), I don’t think that you older SB’s should be joking around about the SD needing to try someone older, or that 21 year olds are just after money.

    I’ve been having a great couple of weeks. I have had a couple of dinner dates, a couple of drink dates, and a couple of lunch dates. Every single man has been fantastic, and yet I am considering walking away from all this. I don’t need gifts or money to provide myself the basics in life, I merely wanted them. I’m not going to go into my exact thought process, but I am considering (after two years and two SDs) forgetting about all this.

    Just in case, I want to wish you all the best of luck in life and in your arrangements. I can’t say it has always been a pleasure, but it has always been amusing.

    Oh, and Eastern Promises is a great movie. I just bought it the other week at Blockbuster!

  142. BlondeinNYC says:

    Well I congratulate my SB sisters for meeting men, for getting emails and for having fun. Me, nothing, nada, zip, zilch, zero!

  143. Gail says:

    You are taking this way too personal Cre8tor!!!! Everyone has the right to put their two cents in. Yes I do sympathize and coddle them the ladies and so do you… so what is the problem. You are you, and I am who I am. Different thoughts, ideas, perspectives….We are individuals and are allowed to voice our opinions.

    Now your past history with other SD that’s you own decision that you decided to share. Hopefully tommorrow you will reread this and see how sensitive you may have been. Have a great nite and a better day tommorrow Cre8tor, I am sincerely sorry I got on your bad side. Whewwww!!!!

  144. cre8tor says:

    thanks Koreanprincess.

  145. koreanprincess says:

    lol at creator…..dayum…I wish every potential Sd would be direct and upfront like you …that would save us alot of headaches!

  146. koreanprincess says:

    Lisa

    Yea….like you..times are hard for me….if a man doesnt give me cash allowance..girl its useless to me…shopping comes a very distant second to me!!!!I’m surprised you haven’t met anyone that wired you money yet….hmmm I wonder why….but you are not aggressive enough? Cuz i know I had to be real upfront with some potential Sd’s and thats when they were like ugh no monthly allowances….girl im crossing my fingers the one Imma meet in two weeks gnna be the one!!!

  147. cre8tor says:

    Oh Gail. You do seem to have a problem with me and my opinions. However, since you seem to think so highly of our mutual friend Gregory Westin and believe that his words are gold, I have to tell you that when we had our off sight email exchange he is not what you all think. In fact, although he invited me to join him (as he said in his broadcast to you all) at a very nice restaurant in Atlanta, he didn’t mention that his intention was to have me entertain him and 4 of his male business associates as a “big favor to him”. Keep in mind that he avoided my request to talk on the phone or even exchange photos. So, before you chime in about how great he is or anyone else you have not spent any personal email time, phone time or face to face time with you might want to hold your thoughts to yourself. And you seem to overlook the fact that my thoughts and suggestions to our newest friend are right on point with your favorite friend SuthrnExec.

    “but I think you have to move on. It’s tough but I think everyone has pitched-in with some valid points. Certainly, if the opportunity arises, have a quick chat with her and clear the air but don’t make a scene. I wouldn’t change/cancel her flight – remember, you’re a gentleman. There’s an old saying that goes something like, “Character is who you are when no one is looking.” Well, similarily, “A gentleman is who you are no matter what happens to you.”

    The essence of my comments, should you care to read them accurately, was to attempt to clear the air but not spend any emotional time on it. Treat others as you would like to be treated.

    As to your comment regarding my support of the SD’s that care to contribute on our blog, I prefer to encourage them to share their real feelings. Considering that this blog has quite a few angry, frustrated and venting SB’s, why in the world would they dare to venture amongst the knitting club unless they had a hope of being accepted for their opinions, positive or negative, without being buried for their comments just as PrettyAngry just was? Do you jump all over of the ladies here that are having trouble or have had the equivalent of the experience that PrettyAngry just had? No, you sympathize and coddle them.

    Because you enjoy making derrogatory comments to me for some reason, in future, I would ask that you refrain from replying to my comments or even using my name in the blog. You might have to be moderated again.

  148. lisa says:

    koreanprincess: i wish I could find a man to wire me some cash, i’m struggling bad and back when I was unemployed (not that my new job is much better in paying the bills) I did meet the 2 sds that took me shopping. I got some great stuff but had an empty refridgerator and a hungry belly. The guys I talk to dont’ want to discuss anything till after meeting, which is usually a month away and then by that time they disappear.

    Gail: I agree as I have given up on the boyfriend thing for a while. I had a great boyfriend and he was kind of like a sd and then all of a sudden he said he couldn’t date anymore and just dropped me. I am not interested in investing time in a guy who will pretend to want a real relationship and then just break it off. Now i’m in it for the benefits, more of a second job. lol and what really ticks me off is when a married man wants to have a relationship with me and doesn’t want me to see anyone else but again dinner is his idea of benefits.

  149. SuthrnExec says:

    Good evening all – more tomorrow…. :-)

  150. Gail says:

    Clone him? Let’s just find out where he lives and works and take him. Maybe one of us on here will be his cup of tea…LOL…Just kidding Suthrn Exec…we know we can’t take the willing:)

    Blondie, on my next date I will suggest going to the movies, only for the sake of seeing Viggo:) I had a date yesterday and this morning. Sweet, successful man, wonderful dinner, wonderful nite:) Great morning… But, unfortunately not a true SD. More of a E-Harmony type of man. Looking for a girlfriend type relationship, and he will not provide any additional benefits other than dinner. So I pass….I want to go to Florida!!!

  151. koreanprincess says:

    I had many good experiences…I had coffee and dinner with this guy….I told him my situation and he wired me a thousand dollars the next day…..we weren’t intimate at all! this other guy before meeting sent me 500 to prove that he is real…..I only had one bad experience!

  152. lisa says:

    I agree I always think of each sd meeting as a one time thing and try to make the most of it. the last 2 guys I met a month back where one time things (just meeting for lunch and some shopping and then they both bailed on me) but at least it was worth my time. they were gentlemen enough to keep their promises even though they were not into me, they didnt’ bail on me, they spoiled me first and then simply made an excuse not to meet later for dinner, but they were both decent guys.

  153. koreanprincess says:

    yea I agree with BlondeinNYC

    I am meeting a potential Sd in couple weeks…he is flying in to see me…..im super excited about this…he seem actually too perfect to be true …but even if that doesnt work out…i still have couple of plan b’s…but I am crossing my fingers with this one!!!

  154. lisa says:

    I just got another email from that creepy guy. His profile is kinda of disturbing too. You know when someone mentions that they aren’t into something and actually they are trying to say subtlely that they are , otherwise why would they even mention something like that in their profile when they said so little else. He didn’t answer any of my questions or send a photo and just keeps going on the same junk. He creeps me out.

    I have had nothing but good meetings so far, normal guys who where nice and kept their word but nothing that lasted. Now after a dryspell I’m getting lots of emails but nothing any good, just someone wanted a dinnerdate, another not answering questions, and another that might be good but who is out of my league.

  155. BlondeinNYC says:

    Take everything with a grain of salt.
    1) first meeting always in a public place. Have drinks or coffee. Make sure it’s an upscale place. Why? If he can’t afford a $3.00 coffee or a $15 drink….
    2) Take your time getting to know him. See him more than once, and make sure that it’s a meal or cocktails or time spent together doing something.
    3)Enter the sexual arena slowly. Discuss past sexual history.
    4)Talk openly about allowance, sex and everything that needs to be talked about before you get naked.
    5)Until you have a steady SD, keep looking!

  156. koreanprincess says:

    Lisa-
    Yea….trust…I take many many many precautions now….its cool…not mad…I was getting too trusting because the previous sd’s were so trusting!

  157. BlondeinNYC says:

    And talk about annoying emails. I was having fun and light emails with someone. I got into a rough patch and wrote that I wasn’t into light emails right now, I have a lot on my plate and I need to concentrate on getting myself on my feet. I didn’t say what was going on, just that I needed to spend more time on other things. Truthfully, I had to spend more time working on cover letters etc., for a job. He asks me what’s wrong, so I tell him. He disappears. Now once every two weeks he emails me and asks “is it better yet?”
    OH PLEASE! GIVE ME A BREAK.

  158. BlondeinNYC says:

    Gail – it’s called Eastern Promises- Viggo Mortenson and Naomi Watts- really compelling movie.
    SuthrnExec- you are just too wonderful for words, very smart, kind and compassionate. We need to clone you!

  159. lisa says:

    also I have stayed at days inn a few times and they do require a photo id and you do have to pay upfront if you just go and check in without reservations (the kind of thing you would do if you had a last minute change of plans in getting a hotel room, like a lost wallet) most days inn require cash or credit card so it’s odd that he lost his wallet but still had his drivers license and the cash for the days inn.

  160. lisa says:

    i never fall for the lost wallet lie. Most expensive hotels are reserved before you arrive and paid for with a credit card, you don’t see too many people paying for their rooms when they arrive at a hotel, at least I never have. And if he was so well off financially, he could get money some way, certainly his whole life doesn’t depend on a wallet.

  161. koreanprincess says:

    lmao…I just saw eastern promises…that movie was great and viggo is sexy sexy sexy.. but at the angry person

    hmmm…it was rude of her…but i dont think it was that bad for you to put her stuff out like that! i have some terrible stories dont get me started..I will tell you one so maybe you can feel a little better about yourself…i have been talkin to this guy for months…he said he is a millionaire and all that good stuff and told me he would put me on payroll. anyways, so he said he would meet me at a great hotel….and stuff…so I was on my way to see him and suddenly I got a phone call that he lost his wallet and that he wasnt able to get the fabolous hotel….instead it was a day’s inn…and when i got there of course he tried to have sex with me…i as intimate with him but didnt go all the way…i left the next day not abruptly but I told him i didnt want to stay at that hotel…so when i got home…i did a background check on him..turns out everything he told me was a lie…he barely makes 30’gs a year…so of course I ignored him…i didnt say anything to him until I started to get thousands of texts messages of stuff like you will regret this and blah…i had to change my number…so yes you will run into at least one rude or disrespectful person….at least you didnt run into a complete fraud…
    but I guess you are right…she probably find somebody else….so you shoul cancel her flight…why not? evidently she found a way to get a room that same night you threw her out…

  162. lisa says:

    this situation could have been prevented if he hadn’t made the first meeting a vacation. I would never fly off to meet a stranger. A gentleman should always come to meet the woman first. If he is a true sd, the expense of the flight, rental car, and a nights hotel room shouldn’t bother him. One should never plan to share a hotel room with someone they haven’t met, no matter how many times they talked on the phone. Maybe this sb was just not interested in him and didn’t know how to tell him. Maybe she was bored but since she was stuck with him in another city, it’s not like she could just go home. spending time with someone you are not into can be very uncomfortable.
    So always travel to meet the potential sb, have a room reserved too.
    Plan to meet and see what happens, create a break from each other (just say you have some business to take care of) and make plans to get together for dinner and see what happens then. If nothing, then take her back to her place, and you can go back to your hotel, if you decide not to see her for dinner, kindly call and decline or just say it isn’t going to work. At least compensate her for her time if you are the one that rejects her. And since you should have booked yourself a room, you can just go back to you hotel and chill.
    How anyone can plan to spend nights at a hotel with someone that haven’t even met really confuses me. And don’t cancel her ticket and leave her stranded, what if she couldn’t get home? You are probably the kind of person who would get mad at your girlfriend and through her out of the car on the side of the road in the middle of knowwhere if things didn’t go your way. Always have tact and be nice.

  163. Gail says:

    SuthrnExec: It doesn’t matter what you look like…I just fell in love with your mind. By the way do you fight in the nude?(smile) and BlondieinNYC whats the name of the movie? I’m into fighting nude men right now…

  164. BlondeinNYC says:

    SuthrnExec in my book, you’re a rock star!

  165. SuthrnExec says:

    Thanks – and just imagine that I look like that Viggo dude! NOT!! LOL

  166. Gail says:

    SuthernExec…you are god-like….(smile) Kisses for you too….Muah! Now that’s a real gentleman:)

  167. BlondeinNYC says:

    Gail– you have to see this movie, he fights a guy in the NUDE! OH MY GOD!

  168. Gail says:

    Blondiein NYC….you are so right!!! I didn’t know who Viggo Mortenson is, so I googled him…wowee…zowee…muah…I kissed him too, many times. I have to leave right now, but will be back in a bit….you have me laughing alot tonite!!!

  169. BlondeinNYC says:

    SuthrnExec- thanks for weighing in! Sadly, I think he’s the only voice that will reach him.

  170. BlondeinNYC says:

    And yes, I watched Eastern Promises last night.lol!

  171. SuthrnExec says:

    PrettyAngry, man! What a story – sorry about that. I have had SBs “ditch” me but not one that was so involved with the travel, etc. It is a blow to the old ego – but I think you have to move on. It’s tough but I think everyone has pitched-in with some valid points. Certainly, if the opportunity arises, have a quick chat with her and clear the air but don’t make a scene. I wouldn’t change/cancel her flight – remember, you’re a gentleman. There’s an old saying that goes something like, “Character is who you are when no one is looking.” Well, similarily, “A gentleman is who you are no matter what happens to you.”

    Now, regarding the original topic – how do you maintain a stringless relationship without seeming careless of other’s feeligns, etc. I think it boils down to honesty, courtesy and consideration – and being a stand-up person – whether it’s being a gentleman or a lady. Without those things it can get messy and hurtful – and it might anyway, even if you’re the one doing what you should (case-in-point – see PrettyAngry).

  172. BlondeinNYC says:

    Thanks Gail. He won’t listen to reason because we’re women; now if a guy told him not to cancel the ticket, he’d listen to them. Frankly, you have to wonder what a 21 year old would see in a 40+ year old man who’s not built like Viggo Mortenson. I can tell you she isn’t interested in his mind!

  173. Gail says:

    LMAO….You are right BlondieinNYC!!! where is SuthernEx,SG2,Gregory Westin,Jimbo. They were fine gentlemen on the blog. If only they were here to help this poor soul. In the end for both parties, I hope lesson learned.

  174. BlondeinNYC says:

    I just want his profile name so I know never ever to contact him. He’s a one way street.

  175. Gail says:

    All,
    No one knows the other side of the story. Except for his date. We could suppose and suppose forever. He IS whining, and the fact that he would write this,

    “I think NYC mentioned cancelling her flight would be as childish as what she did. I’m not so sure. I think you also mentioned that this girl has a build or look that allows her to get away with everything. That’s also probably accurate. Should I just play into that, and let her get away with this? I doubt she would be stranded. She would just have to come-up with a couple hundred bucks for her own one way flight, and hopefully not on the same one we were originally booked on. I’m leaning heavily toward cancelling right now.”

    I suppose he is doing the only thing he knows, to be mean and spiteful. As always Cre8tor, you are a supporter for the SD cause, even if it is wrong. We all thank you for your take on this again. It’s unlikely to not have you comment on the blog in one form or another.

  176. BlondeinNYC says:

    cre8tor- i totally agree with you; she should have definitely handled it differently. She’s an adult and has a mouth and could have opened it and said something, anything rather than acting like a spoiled child.

    Then again, it’s poor judgment to go away for an extended period of time with someone you don’t know. You know, I’ve had emails from total strangers offering me trips and I turn them down.

  177. cre8tor says:

    maybe true. But I don’t think anyone would say its okay to cancel that flight and leave her stranded no matter what. (did you read the story of the pig farmer?) And, I think he knows it as well. How many of us have vented about bad experiences? Guess the guys get a chance as well. But, then I’m talking for him and he is certainly capable of doing that for himself.

    Don’t you agree, though, that she had lost interest and should have handled it differently?

  178. BlondeinNYC says:

    cre8tor- if you’ll notice in the beginning of this thread, we did give him sympathy and advice. And if you’ll notice that no matter what was written, he wants to cancel her flight. He’s not interested in advice, he just wants people to say “go ahead and cancel her flight.” Where’s Suthrnexec when you need him? He’s not going to listen to women, he might to another man.

  179. cre8tor says:

    prettyangry….she wanted to go swimming without you and although you were both tired the first or even second time, as a SB, I’m feeling her interest had changed. But, I’m glad you have recovered and seem to be having a good time. Should you run into her, continue to act like you are having a good time but don’t spend any emotional energy on her. She’s not worth it.

  180. cre8tor says:

    boy did this turn ugly. I don’t see that he isn’t over his anger as much as totally baffled by the behavior he has endured and rightly so. They both made an agreement on the trip. If she didn’t feel comfortable with him, she should have said no. If he thought he wouldn’t be able to enjoy the whole deal with her, he shouldn’t have booked it. The only lesson to be learned here, as far as I can tell, is to take it slower. Don’t jump into an overnighter of more than a day right away. Close proximity for 24 hours with someone you haven’t spent that much time with is different than voice contact. “That’s What you Get” and “Gail” are being a bit rough on the guy. He just wanted advice for something that came out of left field. I don’t see whining or sympathy requests as much as advice requests. I suppose you would be okay with the reverse? Guy leaves your stuff outside the room and cancels your flight home should he decide you are not to his liking? Come on.

  181. BlondeinNYC says:

    PrettyAngry just wants sympathy and a go ahead to act badly; he refuses to acknowledge any misbehavior or bad judgement on his part of what occurred. And oooh, what a great vacation for her; every activity that he’s planned is sports-related. Is it me, or does someone else here smell an immature man?

  182. Goddess says:

    A true gentleman is a gentleman always, not just when he’s got something to gain by being on gentlemanly behavior.

  183. BlondeinNYC says:

    talking to someone on the phone is not the same thing as spending time with that person. It’s fantasy versus reality.

    You want to cancel her plane ticket fine. Go cancel, it makes you look as immature as she is. Change her ticket to another day and/or time. Don’t text her, don’t email her, don’t call her.

    In the future, go out a few times before you plan a holiday with someone.

  184. Gail says:

    Whoops. SugarDaddy Long Term?

  185. Gail says:

    PrettyAngry: Everyone has felt sorry for you except for the last person on
    blog. It seems, That’s What You Get is more of a direct woman, versus the other ladies who sympathize and are being tactful. It is clear you were rejected by this woman. But isn’t the topic of this blog Sugar Term? I think your SB loved most of the trip…and in the end decided to cut the strings and left you. Why is it you can’t move on? Pride? Ego? And I agree like the others, not a wise choice to cancel her plane ticket. That’s really wrong!

  186. PrettyAngry says:

    grow up.

  187. PrettyAngry says:

    stops even. : )

  188. PrettyAngry says:

    correction:
    I think my being a gentleman stop when my company stops being a lady.

    that’s clearly already happened.

  189. PrettyAngry says:

    Excuse me?
    That’s what I get? What did I get? She obviously made her move long before I left anything outside.

    And you say…’she played me’. I should keep letting her ‘play me’ and fly home on the same planes (2) with her?

    And, I should be a ‘gentleman’?
    I think my being a gentleman starts when my company stops being a lady.

  190. That's what you get! says:

    Yes you were….Over-reacting!!!! Including being childish like her…LOL…that’s what you get!!!! I have no sympathy for you. She played you!!! Get over it and move on!!!! And if you cancel her plane ticket you are not a gentleman!!! It will come back on you…..

  191. MSH says:

    Pretty Angry:
    You have got to be a cool guy…..I mean “nekkid”……..you had me at “nekkid”! Much more fun than naked, I would say……

    You got some good advice there. I think that 3 months of talking every day, you probably did think that you knew her, but she’s a “player” and it probably would not have mattered if it were six months. Some girls (and guys) are just like that.

    I wish you much success in finding a TRUE Sugar Baby. And, yeah, there are lots of us around, just got to find the right one for you.

  192. PrettyAngry says:

    I hear ya Chicago…
    but, we were intimate the first night we met before our flight left, and I just didn’t think it was worth pushing things. Because we partied and played so much before the flight, we were both working on two hours sleep, combined with having drinks on the beach and another bottle of wine with dinner.
    We were pretty wiped out.

    Since you’re the first guy who’s responded.
    What do you think about her flight home? I still haven’t been in any contact with her since yesterday afternoon.
    Do you think what I did with her belongings that night was overreacting?

  193. Chicago SD says:

    PrettyAngry,

    I feel for you. Its very unfortunately this has happened. The first thing that would have tipped me off was the lack of intimacy the first night. Regardless how tired you are or how tired she is, my opinion is that the SB should have asked or atleast offered some sort of intimacy. You’ve been a perfect gentlemen and she needs to also be the perfect SB (regardless how tired she is).

  194. PrettyAngry says:

    Thanks for the feedback everyone.
    I’m having a great time anyway.

    I just got back from this cool sports bar outdoors right near the beach where there were dozens of people watching the NFL games on TV. I met plenty of fun people from all around the country and hardly felt alone.

    Tonight, I have a ticket to the baseball playoff game, so no worries here.

    I just hated being disrespected like that…especially when there was NO WAY to see it coming. Even that night she took off, it seemed we were having a great time. We ran up a $150 bill at the seafood restaurant on crab legs and drinks, and another $100 more at the beach bar. I also upgraded the rental car to a cool 350Z sports car to cruise in, and upgraded our room at the beach to a suite overlooking the ocean.
    The money isn’t the point. The point is I did everything first class, and I know I’m not a bad looking guy. I’ve dated some beautiful women in my days not from this site.

    Not for one moment on the trip leading up to her skipping out did we ever have even a disagreement oruncomfortable moment. I’m a very considerate and I showed that. So, obviously I was floored. I appreciate all the kind words.

    A couple clarifications –
    Cre8tor: I get your point about separate rooms, but, that wasn’t an issue at all. In fact, the first night here when she fell asleep, I actually slept on the sofa bed in the living portion of the suite. I was curteous to give her privacy…even though we rolled around in bed nekkid the first night we were together before even leaving. And, it never felt like it “wasn’t working”. Its likely she just met someone that night she went swimming and decided to persue that rather than stay with me…which of course wouldn’t happen if she were fully into me.

    NYC: you’re obviously correct in that I didn’t know her well enough to take this trip. However, we did talk for about 3 to 4 months nearly every day online and on the phone, and since we live 4 hours apart we decided this might be fun. I’ll think twice before the next time. I’ve never ever had a bad experience like this ever before, including with women/girls I’ve met from this site.

    Aletheia: I appreciate you chipping into the conversation. Gives hope for your generation. Understand also everyone that this trip came with no “guarantees” of money or sex or anything other than two people getting together for a fun vacation to get to know each other. The fact it came so close to sex the first night with both of us saying how happy we were, how we exceeded each other’s expectations, and how much we were looking forward to things…just still leaves me baffled how this all happened.

    Two more things…
    First, about her flight home.
    We’re flying into a medium sized city, so I think even if the seats were changed, it would be difficult not to see her, especially at the gate before the plane, where they change over, by the baggage claim. Way uncomfortable for me. I’m both angry and hurt so I’m not sure how I’d react, and I’d rather not be in that situation and don’t think I should be.

    I think NYC mentioned cancelling her flight would be as childish as what she did. I’m not so sure. I think you also mentioned that this girl has a build or look that allows her to get away with everything. That’s also probably accurate. Should I just play into that, and let her get away with this? I doubt she would be stranded. She would just have to come-up with a couple hundred bucks for her own one way flight, and hopefully not on the same one we were originally booked on. I’m leaning heavily toward cancelling right now.

    And, since none of you mentioned it…I guess you don’t think my putting her suitcase and things outside at 4:30 a.m. when she still wasn’t back or still hadn’t responded to me on phone or text wasn’t overreacting too much. At first, this was on my conscience…but, I think if whatever she was doing is even remotely innocent…she would have banged on the door angry. Instead, it seems that she just picked up her stuff and went back to whoever it was she met.

    I’m flying home tomorrow, and not letting this ruin the rest of my trip.
    Thanks for your input.

  195. BlondeinNYC says:

    PrettyAngry you need to vet your potential SBs a bit better. Take the time to get to know them and to find out whether or not they’re interested in you or your wallet.
    SBs, women are just as human as you are.

  196. That's what you get! says:

    A true mature woman, would not treat you this way. I agree with Goddess you are dealing with a girl. I actually would call her a child. Chalk this one up as a bad experience. Too bad ….so sad:(

    Try dating osomeone closer to your age, it may work out better for you. There are many good ladies that deserve to be treated well . Try getting to know Lisa….Lisa are you there!!!….There are many good woman on this blog that would love to meet you. Smile:)

  197. aletheia says:

    I just wanted to chip in my two cents — I am twenty-one and would never treat an SD with that disrespect. We come to the site seeking an arrangement and there are certain expectations involved. Whether you are involved with other people is a matter you can come to an agreement about with the right SD. But it is never considerate to ditch someone — and not very wise for the future of the arrangement, either.

    Not all twenty-one year olds are like this, PrettyAngry — even if most are. 😉

  198. Goddess says:

    As far as long-term, I’ve had arrangements that last for more than five years. It’s mutually beneficial, with a long list of benefits on both sides, but I don’t foresee it turning into something different. We’re compatible in many ways, but not in others.

    PrettyAngry, I’m sorry this girl (and I do mean “girl” – she’s obviously not mature enough for the term “woman” or gracious enough to earn term “lady”) has treated you so disrespectfully. It sounds like you’d been very good to her. Whatever her issue is, she’s handled it in totally the wrong way.

    Unless cancelling her flight will get you a refund from the airline though, there’s no point in possibly leaving her stranded just for spite. Arrange for her to pick up whatever’s left of her belongings at the front desk, inform her of this, then check with the airline to see if you can take a different flight home, maybe a couple hours earlier or later than hers. If you can’t, then definitely arrange seats away from one another.

    Don’t let her ruin the rest of your vacation! Quit taking her calls, wash your hands of her, and wander down to the poolside bar. I’m sure there’s a lovely and much more appreciative lady sitting there hoping to meet a gentleman like you.

  199. BlondeinNYC says:

    PrettyAngry- that is really sad, but the woman is 21 years old, what did you expect? There’s a certain level of maturity and respect for other people that you won’t find in most 21 year olds.
    Again, you barely knew her and took her on a trip, that’s a recipe for disaster. How many times have you spent time with people you barely knew only to realize that despite the initial reaction, you really don’t have anything in common with them or you plain don’t like them.
    You’re probably dealing with someone who feels that because she looks or is built a certain way, she can get away with anything, and you know what, she has. Canceling her ticket home is as childish as her behavior. You don’t want to see her, change her ticket or change her seat.
    Next time, spend more time with someone before you decide to fly them out.

  200. cre8tor says:

    PrettyAngry: that is a horrible story. I feel for you. From a SB perspective, sometimes the first time you meet, its best to keep it a bit short. If traveling, one night with separate rooms. However, given that she agreed to the whole deal, she is the one that is showing lack of respect. If it wasn’t working for her (which sounds like the case), she should have told you and you both could have agreed how to move forward….either as friends enjoying the rest of the time, or flying home. It is very tempting to cancel her flight and go on home I’m sure. Why don’t you tell her you are doing just that and get her to respond. If she’s taken care of by this new friend, no worries. Otherwise, it will be an opportunity to clear the air. Good luck. And, I’ve been the SB in her position…just talked about the fact that there was no chemistry and continued as friends. Not too very hard really

  201. PrettyAngry says:

    one other thing…
    she did indicate she’s still right at this resort.
    so, I have to also deal with the prospect of running into her, and whoever it is she’s now staying with as I try to enjoy the rest of my vacation.
    I thinking there’s a very good chance at a confrontation if I were to run into her, and like I said, I have no idea who’s company she is now keeping.

    we have had no contact since yesterday (Saturday) afternoon.

  202. PrettyAngry says:

    okay, this may be a little off topic…but, talk about NSA!!

    I met a girl on this site. We talked for a few months on IM and on the phone and really seemed to click with many common interests, including sports. I am the SD, approaching 40. She is the SB, 21 years old.

    We decided to meet on a trip to Florida this weekend to check out a couple of sporting events and relax at the beach.

    We live about 4 hours apart, so we decided to fly out of an airport that’s pretty much between the two of us. Since our flight was early in the morning, we decided to meet the night before.

    Well, that first night when incredibly well. We went out for dinner and drinks and then to a club. We really seemed to enjoy each other and there was some intimacy (without sex) that first night in the hotel. We both spoke of how we “liked” each other and how we were looking forward to an incredible weekend.

    First day/night (Thursday) in Florida was fun, but we were both tired. Enjoyed an afternoon with drinks on the beach, then dinner in an incredible seafood restauran with a bottle of wine before coming back to the hotel. She feel asleep on the couch in our suite while we watched television which ruined our plans for going out. I was fine with it since I was tired too. No intimacy or sex this night.

    Second day (Friday) was similar to the first. After picking up tickets for a sporting event on Saturday…it was off to the beach again at the resort…some drinks. Then after showering and relaxing it was out to dinner again…more drinks. Then out to a cool bar with a live band on the beach…more drinks. We came back to the room pretty buzzed and having a good time.

    This is where things got weird.

    She decides she wants to go for a swim in the ocean. She changes into her bikini, and grabs a backpack and says she’s going. I offer to go with her. She says, “no, I’m good”. I ask her to clarify that…by asking…”are you saying you don’t want me to come”?…and, she just repeats “I’m good”. Obviously meaning she doesn’t want me to go. This was at about 12:30 a.m.

    I have to be honest. I was thinking things would get intimate/sexual after our night out and after what had happened our first night together before even leaving on the trip. There had been plenty of innuendo the previous two days with nothing really happening since that first night.

    So, I wasn’t too pleased she was leaving and not wanting me to join. A late night swim might have been fun.

    Well, anyway…a half hour goes by…and, finally she comes back to the suite. I’m in the back room, and don’t get up from the couch when I hear the door open. She rustles around, apparently changes clothes, and leaves again.

    30 more minutes go by…so, I send her a text. No response.
    An hour goes by…so, I send another. No response.
    I make a few phone calls. No response.
    You also have to understand that this girl ALWAYS had her phone on, and was constantly texting people the first couple days we were together.
    I start to get both worried and angry.
    At about 3 a.m., I decide to call hotel security. Partly, to cover my ass is something bad happened to her because I wasn’t with her and I wanted that documented somewhere. At this point I don’t know who she’s with, where she is, or what she’s doing. I start thinking that I really don’t know this girl that well but she has told me some wild stories about her recent past.

    I finally threaten that if she doesn’t get in contact with me soon, her things would be outside the hotel suite, and that I didn’t play this game.
    Still no response.

    So, I did let my anger get the better of me. I took her suitcase and her things and left them outside the door. This was at about 4:30 a.m., and I hadn’t had contact with her since she left at 12:30 a.m.

    Finally, at 5:30 a.m., she sends me a text. She is angry that I would do such a thing and can’t believe that I would be angry that she was “out late”. She said she met some “kids” (her words) age and was just hanging out on the beach. She offerred no apologies for leaving for disappearing for 5 hours all through the night.

    She picked up her things from outside. I was asleep when she did that, and I didn’t actually pick up her texts until I woke up around 10 a.m. It sure seems like she met someone and was still with that person. Otherwise, if what she was doing was truely innocent, I’d expect she would have banged on the door.

    I took off to a college football game that started at noon, and figured somehow things would sort out when I got back.
    I texted her driving back from the game to ask if she was okay, and safe.
    All she responded was that she was safe and wanted some things from the room that weren’t left outside.
    When I asked if she was with someone she had met the night before she didn’t dispute me, but, only said she needed her stuff.

    I guess I want to know what you all think I should have done…or even should still do in this situation?
    I really want to cancel her flight home because I don’t want to be traveling with her after pulling this stunt. Plus, whoever she met can take care of her.
    I had guilt about overreacting by putting her things outside, but, the fact she just picked them up and I haven’t seen her again makes me think I actually did the right thing. At least it avoided a confrontation.

    I just think I flew this girl down here, and only treated her like gold the first few days…I was always completely respectful and honestly thought we were getting along great…only to have her disappear all night long our second night here…and, show no remorse at all for it. I’ve had to spend the rest of my vacation alone (I prepaid for much of it, including sports tickets), and it sure didn’t have to be this way.

    Opinions anyone?
    (sorry for the long long message)

  203. Jimmyslt says:

    It took me several tries at finding my SB. We have been seeing each other since March. We see each other several times a week and it seems ech time we see each other it just get better. We lead two different lives. She has her kids to take care of and I have a home life. We have many things in common but we know we are not going to be together. At times it is hard but we just care about each other in a way that is hard to explain. I think if things would be different then maybe we would go further on with a relationship. I know I feel so lucky to have found her.

  204. lisa says:

    I had a nsa aka friend with benefits relationship with a married man for several years. It was great because he was the best lover i’ve had but in practical matters I would say we had little in common and would never be compatible along those lines. He was attractive, sucessful, smart, romantic, passionate, thoughtful and we kept in touch daily and seen each other weekly. He was not a sugardaddy although he did help me out last month. It was consistant but never got into anything beyond passion. It was great because although this was the only man I was really attracted to I knew we had different views on religion, politics, parenting, and life in general but we didnt’ have to deal with any of that. We came from completely different backgrounds but he didn’t look down on me as he constantly told me how wonderful I was and made me feel good about myself.

  205. cre8tor says:

    I think its perfect. Love is an illusive thing that can cause us to over analyze a relationship attempting to make a judgment. Is he the right one, trustworthy, has personality traits I want for long term, are their flags I should worry about….blah blah blah. Most likely there is a time in all our lives when those things are important and we do seek a long term, deep commitment to build a life with a partner. Personally, I have done that and have tried to understand and grow within that relationship. It takes two. It is much easier NSA, sharing different houses, separate lives and no expectations other than to enjoy each other to the mutual benefit of both.

  206. BlondeinNYC says:

    I like to call NSA the BFE without the drama. What is BFE- Boyfriend Experience- you go out, you have a nice time, you enjoy each other’s company but there’s no drama, no”where have you been,” or “Why don’t you like my friends” etc., To me an NSA experience utilizes the best of dating or being with someone without all the other attendant crap. Plus, you’re still single! I mean, how bad is that???

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