I wonder into these blogs from time to time to read up and get educated. I have been out of the loop for a minute, but am back. I joined this site back in July. The emails were slow and after a while I just got bored with it all. I have had a SD and our vibe was all good. Before I go any further, let me say that I AM MARRIED and would like to share with you my perspective of why I am SB’n it. As another stated earlier, people come from different situations and circumstances. I did not start out with such a mind set, but after 14 years of enduring emotional and mental abuse, I began to feel I deserved so much better. Up until August of 2009, I had never been unfaithful to my husband. In spite of the misery, I remained devoted, but after so many years of tears, neglect, and sadness, the last episode of tongue lashing snapped the final thread that held my heart to him. It is hard to put into words, all I felt was a numbness. I did not care anymore what he thought, said, or tore from me. I was like I want to be happy. We do have children and that has been the second adhesive to the marriage. But after so much pain, my own children began telling me to get out. (How is that for a an eye opener?)
Now here is where the problem starts, my husband is military, this caused us to travel a lot, which meant that my college degree did not help me when it came to having longevity on a job. This in turned created a dependence towards my husband. So now that he is retiring, I am finally creating the business I have dreamed of, the dream I had to put on the shelf in order to support his career. With the success of my business, I will be able to be self sufficient, and get the heck away from this man forever. We are in CA, and the law favors the women in most cases, but as for me I am at a point to where I just want out and nothing more from him than to continue to provide for our children. The less he has over me, the happier I will be. I am now accustomed to being alone without my family, I am originally from NC and my entire family is back east. It gets lonely, but I prefer the West coast for there are more opportunities for my business. When I discovered SA, I was floored, and at first a little skeptical, but curious. After a few meetings, and rediscovering that men thought I was beautiful, it boosted my confidence. I never paid any attention to other men stares before, for my husband was always making me feel as though I was a culprit to invite stares from the opposite sex. For me I am just now awakening to who I am, and where I am heading. I am choosing me now, I have finally realized that I am a beautiful woman. I do stand out in a crowd and will no longer be ashamed of it as I have been made to in the past. I am going to take advantage of what life offers and refuse to accept what has been thrown at me in contempt. So heres to you Anna Molly, go for yours, find your happiness.
I just recently ended my very first extramarital affair( due to his work relocation). He was married, and it worked out fine, he knew my aspirations and admired me for such strength. I did not demand anything from him, it just all fell into place. He wanted to assist me because he knew my heart, my passion, and that I was sincere about him. I choose to be a SB because I want to experience true kindness, attention, and support. I also would like a man in my life who wants to see me reach my dream, and become independent. The site presents opportunities for women such as myself who has aspirations, and a determination to succeed. Women who just need some financial backing to move forward. For me it is more than a $$$ arrangement, I search for a friendship with substance, passion, and respect. Do I object to him being married, of course not, because each situation is different. My goal is to get out of a horrible marriage, to get on my own two feet, and gain a great friendship in the mix of it. There was a time when I would have scolded myself for such a mindset, but after a moment of self reflection I realized that I couldn’t grow old and unhappy. That is the path I am headed down if I do not get out. One day my children will be gone, and I will have remained too long and it will be too late. I can’t do it! So before anyone passes judgment, get the facts on each situation. It is not black and white.