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Loading ...It’s no secret that we love our co-ed sugar babies at SeekingArrangement.com. College babies are young, interesting and intelligent- and therefore in high demand! Sugar Daddies want to date beautiful girls who are sharp tongued and quick witted, with maybe just a streak of innocence. College sugar babies provide that certain allure, and our sugar daddies are ready to foot the bill just to be around them. With the cost of tuition continuing to rise and the number of opportunities in the post-grad world diminishing, it’s an attractive alternative to taking out a student loan.
Student sugar babies are our fastest growing demographic!
So it should be no surprise that student sugar babies are our fastest growing demographic, and we welcome all co-eds with open arms! In fact, we offer all sugar babies attending classes at an accredited university a free premium membership if you register with their school email address (.edu or other). So if you haven’t signed up with your college email address yet, you are missing out on some great benefits! (Sign up below!)
Last week we released a list of the top 20 universities with the fastest growing numbers of sugar babies, and the phone has been ringing off the hook! Student journalists are in disbelief that their college–their peers– have made our list. We have seen articles crop up at the majority of the schools we listed in our top 20, with interviews from students on campus asking “How dare they?” and “Really, is that legal?” Meanwhile our sugar babies are laughing all the way to the bank.
Not only are they dating wealthy men (or women) who help pay for their tuition, but they are also traveling abroad, finding mentors and gaining valuable experience their peers will never have the chance to obtain. While their fellow classmates are preparing their cover letters and working out their repayment plans, our sugar babies are getting job offers and graduating debt free. For some sugar babies, the sugar lifestyle is a temporary phase, and for others, it’s a permanent way of life. Everyone is here for a different reason, and college sugar babies are no different.
Everybody is so intrigued by this college student down-on-her-luck angle. Most colleges can not believe that a student would resort to this kind of behavior in order to pay their tuition. Obviously, the term “sugar baby” leaves a foul taste in their mouths and we have been working hard to correct their misguided perceptions of the sugar lifestyle. We were recently featured on ABC NEWS 20/20, a segment on sugar babies turning to the sugar lifestyle to help pay for the rising cost of their college tuition. Christine Morris, a 24 year old college student and aspiring musician, was interviewed on camera about her experiences as a sugar baby. She admits that she turned to SeekingArrangement.com after maxing out her line of credit on her student loans, and realizing her part time jobs were not going to cover her $10,000 a semester tuition.
College sugar babies make up approximately 40% of our sugar baby members. New York University is our number one school, but with tuition at $41,000 a year, is any one really surprised? That doesn’t even include room and board, much less the cost of dating and entertainment in New York City. At only a fraction of the cost, the University of South Florida clocks in at number 7, with two other major Florida universities making our top 20. If you have been following economic news, this shouldn’t be too shocking of a discovery. Florida tops all the worst economy lists with a 10% unemployment rate and the highest foreclosure rate in the country. I imagine many families are struggling to survive, and sending their children off to college is no longer in their budgets.
The same can be said for Georgia, with both Georgia State University and the University of Georgia in our top 10. Georgia was also hit hard during the recession, largely due to cutbacks at thousands of multinational companies headquartered there, including several Fortune 500 companies. If you compare our list with worst state economy lists and combine it with the trend of increasing tuition rates, no one should be surprised with these results.
But what some people seem to always assume, or perhaps misunderstand, is that this is not a last resort. This is a preferred lifestyle. It’s a relationship in some form, not an unsavory business proposition. They forget that we are all adults and at the end of the day we choose to be here. There are hundreds of other ways to make money, this isn’t a job or a solution to a problem, it’s a way of life. No one is forcing you to be here, the door is right there you can leave anytime you want. (But why would you want to?)
In my eyes, college sugar babies are just ahead of the curve. They are getting the best of both worlds by dating outside their means, and allowing themselves to be free of the constraints that would normally confine them. I see nothing wrong with going after what you want and turning dreams and hard work into a preferred reality. I mean, who wouldn’t want to arrange the perfect set of circumstances if it were possible?
College Sugar Babies: What opportunities and experiences have you obtained from your sugar relationship?
Sugar Daddies: How do you feel about college sugar babies? Have you supported a sugar baby student?
How has the economy impacted your sugar relationship?
All personalities and perspectives are welcome in the blog, while personal attacks and name calling are not. It’s inevitable that there will be disagreements but let’s handle it as mature adults with class to keep the dialog constructive and respectful. Please refer to the “Blog Etiquette” for more details. For the newbies, please take a look at the “Sugar Daddy Dating Tips” section on the right for a list of commonly discussed topics and the “SD and SB Blog List” section to see the perspective of other sugars. Now comment away and let’s enjoy the blog!!
Ty s/a. I am now a career student, with no loans to pay off!
Wowowooo! A new topic and about coeds too my favorite subculture! I will have to think about this and reread the article before I weigh in!
Damn you Jenniebug Slipped in first while I was writing! Did you get a kick out of scooping me?
“Pre-Med” is a college Major? I know quite a few doctors..none of whom proclaimed themselves as “Pre-Med.”
I did meet a few flakes in college that were self proclaimed “Pre-Med.” It was an otherwise effective pickup line that never worked on me.
That being said…I Heart College Co-Eds. Real ones, at least.
I popped the comment cherry!
…and I WISH this site had been around when I was enrolled. I worked my booty off 30+hr/week internships AND full-time enrollment. Would have been nice to spend at least a portion of those 30+ hours with an Exceptional Man AND get a little Sugar on top. …probably would have learned more with him in six-hours than I would have in a six-month internship!
Oh NOOOOOOO…She said “Its like Renting a Girlfriend.” (guffaw) And she was writing the expose! tsk tsk
UCLA #8?! Wish I would have known.
Brandon could have chosen better candidates.
Or am I oblivious to life and is this an accurate sample population?
I guess I’m oblivious. Happily oblivious.
I’m a college SB and I love it! I don’t want to be harsh, but guys my age are generally losers: they don’t want to commit, they have nothing to offer, they don’t want to listen and connect, they’re not going to wine and dine you, and worst of all – they’re not experienced! I don’t want to be mean but… I don’t want to date any more virgins or worse – guys that have spent all their time with one night stands at parties.
How many guys my age are going to want to date seriously? None! I’m not saying I want to date seriously either since marriage is far away; but if I have the choice it’s pretty clear: why would I pick anything other an older guy who listens to what I think, makes sure I’m taken care of, and respects me?
On top of that I think college SBs are great option out there for SDs looking for someone young, pretty, smart, and hard working
The only thing is: I just can’t risk signing up with my .edu address. There should be some other way to verify because I know for sure that my e-mail is monitored. Maybe my senior year I’ll sign up, but I’m not sure what kind of policies the school would hold on our school e-mail.
Sarah Sweetheart ~ Some things just don’t quite seem fair. . . . But then I think you’ve hit on an interesting idea that Brandon ought to look into. Tuition waivers etc sponsored by the university where SA contracts to arrange for a university benifactor who is willing to make a donation in order to spend time with open minded coeds.
@SarahSweetheart she is actually a Biology Major, Pre-Med student.
I’m not a coed, I’m a little older than that…and I’ve had some lovely arrangements…love this site
@Sarah – mildly oblivious…lol.
Example: I was communicating with a pot-SD a few months ago. He works in my town, about an hour’s drive from me. Email exchange, he’s single and in the +1Mil range. Email received the same day he wanted to see me, was fairly explicit regarding wanting intimacy to start at the first meeting. (I mentioned that I wasn’t comfortable ‘going all the way’ on a first meet, like to be able to sleep on it. He asked if I could just spend the night and cuddle…noooo…)
…so, postponed plans to meet up til the following night, hung up. Didn’t want to waste 40 on gas, so rang him up again and asked what he had in mind: “$275, and see how things go.” I believe after gas, that would be $235.
I politely declined. And then I was curious and rang him up and asked whether he’d found people in that range. He’s been on the website for under a month and has found 3 people for that amount in MANHATTAN?!?!! One was an undergrad, another a grad student, another an intern in financial services.
Listen. If you are going to meet a guy at a hotel on the first meeting (i.e. practically guarantee you’ll put out); briefly after he initiates communication; and you are not even getting the promise of an ongoing arrangement (let alone an allowance pre-paid upfront), you are providing the equivalent of an escort service. Regardless of “how great he looks” or “how much you enjoyed talking to him” or the fact that “he’ll make sure you enjoy yourself too,” that’s pretty much what he’s getting.
If you fall into the “defacto-escort-category” (regardless of self-definition), please take a peek at pro-rates in your region. Please do not agree to spend 6 hours or an overnight with someone for half the going hourly rate. NSA, P4P or “being flexible with financial expectations to ensure compatibility” – been there, done that, no problem.
But for Christ’s sake, have some dignity and try not to ruin the pot for the rest of us.
Thanks.
@stormcat – lol!! I actually think I found a spoof (think “The Onion”) article along those lines in 2010. I’ll try to locate it and post it.
Yay Brandon! Thanks for the new topic!
Hmmmm….I’m a college student (again), but far from calling myself a co-ed. Sugar permitted me to finish my degree while being able to pay my living expenses for the better part of a year. For that, I will always be grateful.
The 20/20 piece was interesting. I actually think it provides a fairly accurate review of sugar so that others watching aren’t going to be shocked when the experience the vast amount of offers and fakes. It is unfortunate that Pixie’s photos (among a few others) depict something different than the classy sugarbaby. There will always be the stigma and sex sells in the media…so I’m sure the stereotype will always exist.
It would be nice if there was some kind of guidance for girls like the young singer. She thinks p4p is sugar and is happy about it. She is being taken advantage of by men who have no conscious.
Oh I find “The Onion” very entertaining. Sometimes I write really outrageous intro letters to pots just to see if they get the parody. Most don’t answer, some are insulted, and a few lol and we become great friends.
Meg ~ Would you be willing to correspond off blog. You seem to understand so much that I want to understand. If yes just click on my name and it should take you to my profile.
Let’s all stop pretending OK? These girls have no money, they are young and they don’t care who they sleep with to get money. I love this site.
@ Stormcat!
Absolutely…but when I click on your name, it simply says “profile not available.”
[blog-gods, would it be possible for you to forward each-other emails?]
Perfect timing “john”
Hgirl ~ Actually you are a bit harsh on your male coeds. Of course they can’t wine and dine you. But many of them are working very hard to become successful men and leaders. It doesn’t mean they are losers. They are preparing to become winners. There are many well meaning serious hard studying hard working intelligent men in college and if you can recognize their potential and encourage them (There is nothing that can make a man motivated more than a beautiful woman who believes in him) you can realize a reward far beyond what you can get from entangling yourself with an older gentleman who is already established. IMHO
Lol…@MidwestSB on Pixie: “you know they’ll bring an envelope and put it in your purse while you aren’t looking”
…uhhhh… you know, that really reminds me of something in my distant past. I can’t really remember what, though. Hmm…
Sometimes it came in a box of chocolates. Or in a thank-you card with a very personal message.
And the agent I had instructed me: never ask for the fee…always “oh, do you have the envelope…”
@Stormcat – It varies. A lot of them are really only looking to add notches to the proverbial bed-post. There are some good-guys, though too!!
I’m so excited! I just offered to take my best guy-friend to dinner and movies. It was really funny, because I mentioned we should get together to see a movie, and he said “I normally just download them because I can’t afford to go out…” I feel like a sugar-mama jr. A sugar mamette…
Meg ~ Seriously! I’ve kept my account paid up, even though I’m not actively searching, just so I could have contact with fellow bloggers. I haven’t edited it lately so it isn’t pending approval. There should be no reason for it to be unavailable. Brandon, actually this news makes me angry! Why isn’t my profile available through the blog link?
anyway my profile # is 322205
@Stormcat- Hmm… your profile is still up. The link in the blog just doesn’t work. Oh well. I’m off to dinner. I seem to have a hot sugar date tonight. Maybe I’ll get lucky and walk away with an envelope full of cash. Or meybe I’ll just like him a little more then that and keep him around for awhile. Lol…
@stormcat – hopefully they’ll fix it/exchange our emails soon!
I’ll check back again tomorrow.
Jenniebug ~ Good luck on that lovely dinner date. A part of me is wishing that I were the lucky SD having dinner with you. Just for the heck of it I repasted my profile url here. Please try again.
I’m sure you’ll have no issue. There seem to be alot of single blog sb’s that are actively seeking a SD.
Hello Sugars!!! Hope you are all having a great day
Stormcat~ She can’t see your profile from your link because it says same detail, meaning only other SDs can see it…. she can just use the number.
Crap… tried to post but i’m being moderated
Stormcat~ She can’t see your profile from your link because it says same detail, meaning only other SDs can see it…. she can just use the number. if you want the link to work for everyone you need to write your link without member and same in the link so it would be like this: seeking arrangement dot com slash detail dot php ? id = and your number
Stormcat~ I linked my profile so you can see the link addy… just add your number at the end and everyone can see it
Hello sugars… hope everyone had a great day
Oooooh I love this topic! I am a college SB and proud of it! Not shocked at all to see my school in the top 10. I’ve considered doing some scavenger hunting for fellow SBs on campus. It would be nice to compare notes with them hahaha
On to the question: What opportunities and experiences have you obtained from your sugar relationship?
Put simply, my sugar relationships have allowed me to stay in school and not only just dream about the possibility of grad school, but also turn that dream into a reality. Specifically the mentoring that I have received within my sugar relationships is something I will always be grateful for. I would rather invest my time on someone that looks forward to being with me and not only appreciates our time together, but also is concerned about my OVERALL well-being. Men (or rather boys) my age do not even come close to having such engaging relationships because they are intimidated by women who are beautiful and yet also smart and goal-oriented. I prefer dating mature men and those men want to date someone like me….it’s a win-win.
Happy Hump Day sugars!
Thanks BG ~ I’ve edited my url link accordingly and hope that it works now.
@stormcat. Hey you. check yo messages.
Storm~ yep, it’s fine now, the person just need to log in once she gets to the page
@ Stormypoo- seems as you’ve found the instant popularity switch. I’m sure you’ll get alot of attention now. All the sb’s, escorts, and former escorts will be hitting you up. Lol have fun with that.
In general I’d just like to find an actual SD Ive been on this site for quite sometime. Ive sent numerous messages and I’m not sure why i am not as successful as i thought id be on this site. I am attractive, witty, nice shape and hair, polite I mean i am a beautiful college SB but Ive never had success on here.. ANY tips you guys? feel free to read my profile or anything… just tell me what you think would help
@Stormcat:
Hgirl ~ Actually you are a bit harsh on your male coeds. Of course they can’t wine and dine you. But many of them are working very hard to become successful men and leaders.
I’m an engineering student. They all have money (at least more than enough to pay for school, go out, etc) – I guarantee it. On top of that, almost all of them are trust fund babies.
It doesn’t mean they are losers. They are preparing to become winners. There are many well meaning serious hard studying hard working intelligent men in college and if you can recognize their potential and encourage them (There is nothing that can make a man motivated more than a beautiful woman who believes in him)
Well I don’t really know anyone who needs encouraging, but if they did I’m not about to waste my time trying to boss them around. Anyways, most of these guys – irrelevant of time and money – are just not worth trying to date because they just don’t want to try. I know there’s an exception to every rule, but I’m not going to sit here and fish for the one in a million guy. I met my ex because he was a grad student (he graduated after my freshman year anyways) and that worked pretty great. When I dated guys my age? Total waste of my time. It’s like I had to teach them everything about everything. It’s so much easier to just date a slightly older guy on the same page as me.
@meg: Listen. If you are going to meet a guy at a hotel on the first meeting (i.e. practically guarantee you’ll put out); briefly after he initiates communication; and you are not even getting the promise of an ongoing arrangement (let alone an allowance pre-paid upfront), you are providing the equivalent of an escort service. Regardless of “how great he looks” or “how much you enjoyed talking to him” or the fact that “he’ll make sure you enjoy yourself too,” that’s pretty much what he’s getting.
AGREED – you took the words out of my mouth. I’ve had so many guys ask if I have sex – blah, blah, blah. I’m not having sex with anyone on the first date in return for cash; I’m sorry but that’s just crossing the line. That’s 90% of the reason I’m not willing to do anything long distance, because they don’t want an arrangement – they want a drop in escort. One visit, get your cash, bye-bye. Not cool!
What a great blog topic!! Maybe I should write about my co-ed SB in my blog. I think enough time has passed for the statue of limitation to write about her. I don’t write about my current sugar relationships out of respect for my SB’s, so I only write about SB’s from the distant past. Not only will it be a story about a co-ed SB, it will also be about how I resisted from falling in love because it was in the best interest for both of us. So many things to write, so little time…
@SarahSH
there have been times when “un-loving” someone, while difficult, is in my best interest.
Great minds think alike!
@Anna/Naughty Molly
Well, unfortunately for you, no, we haven’t had sex. Yes, it would be better than good darlin’.
Whew, I thought we had sex and I forgot about it…
@Meg
He’s been on the website for under a month and has found 3 people for that amount in MANHATTAN?!?!!
When something sounds too good to be true, it usually is.
@John
These girls have no money, they are young and they don’t care who they sleep with to get money.
What you described doesn’t sound like SB’s to me.
@HGirl
guys my age are generally losers: they don’t want to commit, they have nothing to offer, they don’t want to listen and connect, they’re not going to wine and dine you, and worst of all – they’re not experienced!
This view is very common among college SB’s who seek sugar relationships with older men. They want a higher quality relationship and they expect more from the men they’re dating. There is nothing wrong with setting the bar high!
————————-
Re: the blog topic
For some sugar babies, the sugar lifestyle is a temporary phase, and for others, it’s a permanent way of life.
For most college SB’s I’d think it’s a temporary phase and not a permanent way of life. After graduation they most likely will be pursuing a career, graduate studies, or a serious relationship to move on from sugar.
If you compare our list with worst state economy lists and combine it with the trend of increasing tuition rates, no one should be surprised with these results.
The economic impact also applies to SD’s so that states with the worst economy may be short on legitimate SD’s, which makes it more difficult to find them in those states.
This is a preferred lifestyle. It’s a relationship in some form, not an unsavory business proposition.
Exactly. Sugar dating is a choice of lifestyle, so bravo to those who make that choice!
@meg: “Lol…@MidwestSB on Pixie: “you know they’ll bring an envelope and put it in your purse while you aren’t looking”…uhhhh… you know, that really reminds me of something in my distant past. I can’t really remember what, though. Hmm…Sometimes it came in a box of chocolates. Or in a thank-you card with a very personal message…And the agent I had instructed me: never ask for the fee…always “oh, do you have the envelope…”
You had an agent? Lucky! AND you got chocolate? Wow. That’s impressive!
So, umm… is an agent like a glorified pimp? All of us who have never been escorts don’t know how this stuff works?
@SDGuru – “This is a preferred lifestyle. It’s a relationship in some form, not an unsavory business proposition. … Exactly. Sugar dating is a choice of lifestyle, so bravo to those who makes that choice!”
So, @SDGuru – Does a Girl writing an expose for Vanity Fair, describing Sugar Dating to a 20/20 interviewer by stating that, “It’s like renting a girlfriend,” make Sugar dating sound like an unsavory business proposition?
(I literally guffawed when I heard that. I am completely aware that I say unsavory things every day. I am not on national television representing this website when those things are said.)
Does Brandon see Sugar Dating as “renting a girlfriend”?
ALL Co-ed’s: Just a little personal perspective and empathy from a co-ed alum SB to a current co-ed SB: DO NOT refer to yourself as a “Rented Girlfriend.” EVER. If the mere thought of it ever crosses your mind – Dismiss it! You (your companionship, your physical intimacy, and whatever else you have to offer) are not ‘For Sale’, or ‘For Rent’.
Sharing Sugar: OK. Use the Sugar to create opportunities: OK.
BUT please Read: If you EVER Sell (Rent, whatever) a part of yourself, you will NEVER get it back. No, not ever. Never.
No matter how successful and great you may become, no matter if you were the richest SB on the planet…YOU WILL NEVER GET BACK THE PART OF YOU THAT YOU SOLD! So Please, just don’t do it.
@Meg – You can call me catty (which you misspelled BTW), you can make fun of me all you want, you can hate me for writing this…I could care less. You left escorting/prostitution/whatever it is that you ‘left’ to become a SB.
There is a line, it may be a fine line, but it is a definitive Hard Line.
Once you’ve crossed that line, the line has been crossed. Period.
As a Sugar Baby you have no need to cross the line.
You Are Lucky … Thanks to Brandon!
SarahSweetheart
xoxo
New post! Yay!
I’m a college SB, and while I have had success, I think it’s important to keep location in mind. There are literally 5 SD profiles in my city, none of them are premium members. So, I ultimately need to find a SD who is willing to do long-distance, and those are a rarity. I’ve had both, but really wish I had more local options. I fully appreciate the success stories Brandon wrote about, but I think someone is much more likely to achieve those results if they live in larger cities with more available SDs.
Yay, new blog post! And it’s about me, which is even better
What opportunities and experiences have you obtained from your sugar relationship?
Even though I’m new to the sugar world, I have already gained so much from the experiences I’ve had. I feel like I’ve become more confident, self aware, and aware of the world around me. My horizons have been broadened so much by just the variety of people who I come across.
Sugar dating gives me the chance to take a break from the pressure of my daily life. I think that people sometimes underestimate how stressful college can be, especially when you are in a very intense major at a top school. I have a ton of work, and all of my friends have work as well. It gets to the point that I just want to run away and never hear about another essay again! Sugar dating gives me a fun break. I don’t have to spend my time listening to others reiterating my concern, and instead can focus on relaxing and spoiling someone from outside my normal bubble. Plus, it gives me the chance to go out and dress far more sexy than I can for my 9 am class
I feel like I’m too young and too focused on school to really want a serious committed relationship. Sugar dating fits what I’m looking for perfectly, because most of the SDs I’ve met are also busy with their work and the like. Just a casual, fun arrangement is exactly what I’m looking for. Plus, it motivates me to become a better student and person. If someone else is helping me to pay for my tuition, you better bet I’m going to study hard to take as much of an advantage of school as I can! I’m also surrounded by successful men. It helps me to develop many skills such as social graces in a variety of situations, which can’t be learned in the classroom. I also have a great support in the form of someone who believes in me and my dreams enough to invest in my time and development. My SD gets a lovely young woman who is still excited about life, not bogged down with the daily grind, eager to learn, and eager to please. Plus, I take courses about everything from fine arts to quantum physics, so I’m always on top of the conversation
Essentially, I simply love being a coed SB. I really appreciate all of the SDs out there who remember what life was like as a student, and believe in me enough to want to help me out to my dreams.
JennSA – “@SarahSweetheart she is actually a Biology Major, Pre-Med student.”
I don’t doubt that she is a Biology major with a dream of one day becoming a Doctor …
…After passing all requirements to receive her Undergraduate Degree, passing the MCAT, getting accepted into to medical school, Finishing medical school, doing rotations, years in residency, more exams, and the list goes on…in duration equating to about 10-years of booty-busting before she becomes a legit Doctor.
“Pre-Med”, huh? So what exactly is “Pre-Med”?
(Never mind. It doesn’t matter. Most guys will skim right over the “Pre-Med” thing … They’ll go straight the GREAT picture of the hot young brunette co-ed! Then they will go back and look at the picture several times even though it’s the same picture. lol Come to think of it…I looked just like her back then.
)
ALL – Ask an M.D. what “Pre-Med” is. If you share a friendship he may give you an honest answer. My guess is that he will say that it has little/nothing to do with your undergrad major.
My alma mater has one of the most highly competitive medical schools in the country – never heard a single person utter “Pre-Med” anything.
Biology is a legit major. So if I were a Biology major trying to give myself some accreditation, I would sign off as “Majoring in Biology at Southern Georgia University.”
All that said, I’m not surprised by the reference given the appearance of the 20/20 interview. If anyone I knew saw that I would be ashamed to be on this website!
@TinTinSB should have been hired as the freelance writer. It sounds like she knows what an accredited major is.
(She sounds amazing! I can almost hear her talking when I read.)
@TinTinSB melts my heart. If @TinTInSB was paired up with that picture of the hot brunette co-ed I MYSELF would consider giving her a $20K allowance.
@SarahSS — I’m in college and hear “pre-med” a lot. You’re right…it’s definitely not a major, but “pre-med” often refers to the prerequisite classes med schools look for, in addition to someone’s undergrad major. If someone says they’re majoring in biology the obvious next question is “what are you going to do with that?” So, perhaps it’s just easiest to say pre-med, because everyone knows what her ultimate goal is then.
I don’t feel the need to explain myself any further with the “Pre Med” assumption. The post above says it all
@meg “Listen. If you are going to meet a guy at a hotel on the first meeting (i.e. practically guarantee you’ll put out); briefly after he initiates communication; and you are not even getting the promise of an ongoing arrangement (let alone an allowance pre-paid upfront), ___you are providing the equivalent of an escort service___. Regardless of “how great he looks” or “how much you enjoyed talking to him” or the fact that “he’ll make sure you enjoy yourself too,” that’s pretty much what he’s getting.”
How long exactly is “brief.” Min, hr, day, wk, mo, yr?
After reading that, I think that I myself, and nearly every single college co-ed in America, has “provided the equivalent of an escort service.”
What? Do you mean, I’ve been giving it away for free all this time and I could have got the equivalent of an escort rate??? Darn-it! I mean, my bf and I have sex three times a day…3/day x 365 days x $$$$…WOW…forget about going to college. I could be a millionaire in a year or less!
$235 to you is like $2,350 to me. I can probably turn $235 into $2,350…briefly.
“But for (goodness) sake, have some dignity”…Indeed
What is a de facto escort? Brief me on it…please.
“Try not to ruin the pot for the rest of us.”
This is how Porn felt when hot Co-ed’s got web cams.
Now we have a topic I could go on and on about since I do have a strong preference for the attractive and fun coeds. While there are many with youth and great looks, there are also many that have an awful sense of entitlement that immediately kills any interest I might have.
Overall though, my best experiences have been with coeds. I have met all types, but in the last year or so have a really narrow focus on what I happen to like. I even made a bet with one girl that I could walk into her sorority house in front of 150 girls, give a speech about the benefits of an arrangement, and within the next 48 hours I would have at least ten emails in my inbox with interest. Now I know that there would be squeals and sounds of disgust from many, but I know in the end, the lure and temptation would be too much for others not to take a chance.
SouthernCharmSB – didn’t you tell me you are in California? Or am I mixed up?
@SouthernGent2: You would have to talk to 150 Girls to get only 10 Emails?
Oh my gosh, that sounds awful!
With the 97% attrition rate from E-mail to Date, that would leave you with a 33%chance with ONE sorority co-ed. (not personal my stats, but stats from empirical data) Thats 1/3 of a college aged female!
It would take you two days?
Ok…I’d like to bet now…I bet that you could walk out the door with 10 co-eds from my college sorority, sticking to you like flies, and take them out to lunch that day…All 10 at the same time! The other 140 will be gossiping about it, at least 40 would e-mail you (secretly).
Too bad the sorority wouldn’t approve such a speech. Sorry. So sad.
…also, remember that you would be on the mind of 150 co-ed sorority girls fathers.
Shhhhhhh…it’s a secret.
A speech? Really Dude?
My sorority sisters, and they are aplenty, publicly tarnish their Silver Reputation.
You want to up your odds? Think of a more covert topic for your “speech”… an internship?
oops … hehe…sorry…
i meant to write…
“My sorority sisters, and they are aplenty, will not publicly tarnish their Silver Reputation.”
…we ‘publicly’ tarnish our reputations in plenty of other ways lol…daily…we don’t need another thing to add to the list
@SouthernCharmSB – “I’ve considered doing some scavenger hunting for fellow SBs on campus. It would be nice to compare notes with them hahaha”
Oh yeah, @SouthernGent2, she said “scavenger.” Did you catch that part. Scavenger. Yep.
On that note, @SouthernCharmSB I was just quoting you, not trying to pick on you…ok? I agree that it would be nice to compare notes
Not sure if you are in a sorority, or not. But if you are, I am wondering if your house would allow a speech like this?
A new blog! My phone web browser thanks you!
On a side note, I had a dream last night that my family found out about this, and I had the impossible task of trying to convince everyone I know that it isn’t prostitution. literally woke up in a cold sweat.
On the topic… Co-eds… It is very gratifying to know that the $$ is going to really improve the SB’s future. Definitely a big draw.
Good Morning Everyone!!
Well, I’m not in college and haven’t been for a while so I’m far from being a co-ed and can’t really comment on the subject. Wow, I’m feeling kinda’ old right now lol!!
Guru ~ I seriously doubt you could forget Sweetness…
StaciM – you have me rolling on the floor. Wish I could tell you the entire story of why I made the bet with that girl (which of course she never accepted).
Maybe you are right about ten girls glued to my arm with interest. I was fortunate enough to take four girls to dinner one time at a certain southern university.
What part of the country are you located?
Who would have thought the mention of pre-med would cause so much angst?? And we’re still beating a dead horse over escort vs SB??
@SarahSH
stating that, “It’s like renting a girlfriend,” make Sugar dating sound like an unsavory business proposition?
You can see the Vanity Fair article written by Melanie about two years ago here to get the full context of her “renting a girlfriend” comment. She stated “renting a girlfriend is a safer alternative to investing in a wife.” Several readers who commented on the article had the same reaction you did.
@SG2
I even made a bet with one girl that I could walk into her sorority house in front of 150 girls, give a speech about the benefits of an arrangement…
That’s something I’ve got to see!! So who won the bet??
@CandiceSB
What? Do you mean, I’ve been giving it away for free all this time…
Sounds like it’s time to trade in your dead beat boyfriend and upgrade to a sugardaddy!
——————
The 20/20 video is similar to other media coverages in the past. It always comes down to when money and sex is involved it makes people uncomfortable, and the word “prostitution” automatically pops up. You can see my take on the media’s coverage of the sugar world here.
Guru – that particular girl was so terrified of being caught by her sorority sisters that she would have never let me near her house. Somehow we got into the conversation of the hows and whys of things on SA. Her comment to me after I made a joke about the idea was something like “well I know most of them would say how awful and gross that is. But give a few of them 24 hours to think about it, and i bet a few would email me you wanting to know more”. So I set an over / under of ten girls with her of the 150 sorority members. Wish I could have walked in and told all the girls why they should consider a SD. Guess it will have to be a fantasy for the rest of my life lol.
Hmm. Om thinking about changing my profile, just for added amusement.
It might look something like this:
Hot! Young sb, wants to bang as many millionaire’s as possible before settling down and having two kids.
I wonder how many responses that would get. Lol
Me thinks Hgirl goes to UTD!
@SarahSweetheart: Akita is going to school to be a doctor, so she is on the Pre-Med track. That is HER identifier. I never said it as an “accredited degree” or that she was going to one day cure cancer. But hopefully she finds the right arrangement through SA to meet those goals. I think you are making quite the assumption about a person you know nothing about. Her declared major is Biology, but her plan is to go to Medical School one day.
In regards to the undercover reporter, we didn’t put her on ABC 20/20 or write her script. She was an outside source used by ABC to tell a different perspective. Brandon, nor any one at SA would refer to sugar babies as “rented girlfriends”.
Oh Jenniebug ~ You still haven’t got it out of your system? How many millionaires do you have to bang before you get tired of banging millionaires and decide to settle? Sounds like a lot of fun but have you thought about who the lucky guy is going to be to settle with you after all that banging? I guess what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him?
Where’s @EnglishRose hiding???
@stormypoo- I dunno. But I’m sure it would be fun to find out. Lol
@JennSA –
Jenn, I almost just ignored this because it just sounds ridiculous for so many reasons. But I will respond so some brilliant SB (Akita, whoever else) doesn’t make herself sound less intelligent than she truly is by using an unaccredited term to identify herself.
“@SarahSweetheart: Akita is going to school to be a doctor, so she is on the Pre-Med track. That is HER identifier…But hopefully she finds the right arrangement through SA to meet those goals.”
Good for Akita! I’m not bashing Akita! She has an admirable 10-year booty-busting goal ahead of her. I HOPE the SD she finds is a Doctor!….after a few convos (let’s say that Akita is perceptive) I seriously doubt that she will ever “identify” herself with the term “Pre-Med” ever again. This is EXACTLY why I had the respect to recognize that minimizing an M.D., OR Akitas efforts, to a term that doesn’t exist, is NOT a good idea.
“I never said it as an “accredited degree” or that she was going to one day cure cancer. ”
Would you define yourself by an unaccredited ANYTHING?…that was the entire point of the statement. Clearly that point was missed.
“I think you are making quite the assumption about a person you know nothing about.”
Uh, assumption? Ok, ok. Actually the “assumption” lies in the unaccredited, self-appointing phrase “Pre-Med,” not in Akita.
“Her declared major is Biology, but her plan is to go to Medical School one day.”
That is a way more respectful way to phrase it….as I did!
A biology major identifying themselves as “pre-med” is akin to a political science major identifying themselves as “pre-law.” Neither bio majors or poli-sci majors have and “obvious” path.
Hopefully Akita will use this conversation to her ADVANTAGE. I respect Akita, and any other woman pursuing a booty-busting goal.
Lets use descriptions that give those booty-busting professions the acknowledgement and respect they deserve.
Oh, and Jenn, you may also be making assumptions about a person you never met, me. Ever think of that?
Whatever….All I care about is that Akita reads this and finds an SD who is a Doctor, or whoever else she prefers! (Shouldn’t be too difficult for her!)
In regards to the undercover reporter, we didn’t put her on ABC 20/20 or write her script. She was an outside source used by ABC to tell a different perspective. Brandon, nor any one at SA would refer to sugar babies as “rented girlfriends”.
“In regards to the undercover reporter, we didn’t put her on ABC 20/20 or write her script. She was an outside source used by ABC to tell a different perspective. Brandon, nor any one at SA would refer to sugar babies as “rented girlfriends”.
I didn’t think Brandon would say something like that. He seems to be a respectful and intelligent businessman. I doubt he would use a phrase that would borderline illegality and hurt his business. Exactly why I guffawed at the ‘rented girlfriend’ statement.
Again, another matter of respect…that’s all. A respect that the reporter didn’t employ. And subsequently gave Sugar Dating a poor public image. Not a fan!
So JennSA and SarahSH – Would you two like to discuss this offline? I’m certain the blog gods would be more than happy to give you two a private audience!
In the end, what do these semantics have to do with being a successful sugarbaby?
As for the “rented girlfriend” and the dead horse being beaten. I’ve successfully been in the sugar bowl for 18+ months…I have heard it all…seen all the press…heard all the conversations about the “grey” area and the bottom line is to get a thick skin. Nobody but you knows your business and nobody but you has to live with your conscious. Rent “Memoirs of a Geisha” and treasure what sugar can be (and should be in my opinion). Anyone outside the sugar bowl and anyone who has tried/ sampled/ posed as a sugarbaby without having actually being a successful sugarbaby can NEVER understand the reality. I don’t CARE what they call it if they cannot speak from experience. The debate that has continued here has very little constructive value to the new sugars finding their way through a challenging and sometimes crushing personal experience. Whatever reason that brings you here…whatever experiences that you believe may or may not give you credibility in the sugar bowl …are null and void because it’s different from any other experience. Unless you’ve been a successful sugarbaby…unless you’ve had a gent help you reach your goals…unless you can manage a drama-free existence (for the most part)…you would be best served to listen, learn and ask the important questions.
Sugar is sweet…this blog is usually sweet & supportive. Let’s not bring petty drama to the blog please.
Peace out! I have a test to tend to! FL is tomorrow…who is EXCITED??? I am!!!
BTW – My school made the list too…gives a whole new perspective as I look at my classmates! I’m sure I am the LAST person they would consider a successful SB! Never judge a book by it’s cover!
@Midwest — Cheers to that entire post!!! Good luck on your test…I have no doubt you’ll crush it
@SouthernGent2 – I am located in sunny California!
Sorry to tell you, but that whole “sorority speech” idea will indeed remain a fantasy. We have certain ethical boundaries and university req’s that would never allow such a thing.
I’m not surprised she was ashamed, but, probably more so terrified – she could possibly have her sorority membership revoked for engaging with you! Especially after the way 20/20 showed Sugar Dating in such a distasteful and unfavorable light.
…a sorority house could become suspended or un-recognized by the university for engaging in activities that reflect poorly on the image of themselves, and the university. Basically they would be “unaccredited”…kinda like saying “pre med”…LMAO at that bc I hear people bs-ing about pre-med and pre-law all the time and it sounds SO silly. I just laugh (to myself).
Anyway, thats a nice dream you have. The “internship” speech that I suggested is probable. You and your intern will have to swear to secrecy – which is ok. Sorority girls know ALL about secrecy
@Candice SB: What? Do you mean, I’ve been giving it away for free all this time…
@SdGuru: Sounds like it’s time to trade in your dead beat boyfriend and upgrade to a sugardaddy!
haha…he isn’t a dead-beat. That green smile means you know that I was kinda joking, right?
@MidwestSB – “Let’s not bring petty drama to the blog please.”
ok haha. I hope the college-artist getting taken advantage of will read about not being for sale.
G/L on your test
Read Memoirs in highschool…cant wait to see the movie!
xoxo
StaciM – based on the number of sorority girls I have met on this site, there are obviously some willing to take the risk.
The girl I mentioned was terrified of being caught. So much so that it caused a lot of problems that led me to not seeing her.
SS, I get this vagueness and inexactitude bugs you but my guess is that the general populous has heard “pre-med” a thousand times and thinks they know what it means. And I bet those in the medical field understand what she is talking about as well.
ps MSU at #9, go Sparty!
@SouthernGent2 – Of course, some will take the risk – like me
I’m still terrified of being caught. Thats why it takes a huge amount of trust for me to engage.
So…in the past what my SD and I did it was an internship/mentorship. He was SO much more than an SD, he was my friend, mentor, and eventually lover. We were out and about in town in public a lot, and nobody ever questioned anything bc it was an internship! My ‘sisters’ knew about him and had met/socialized with him…because I trusted him! He is a good man and we had a sugar relationship for 3 years! I even had a boyfriend for the first year – he knew. But this 3 -yr friend remained in my life long after the bf had expired, saw me through to graduation, met my family, etc, and will remain a life-long friend! To this day I am still enrolled and active in my sorority as a graduate student.
@Phone Guy – Thank you, I hear you.
I’m done with the pre-med…blah blah…akita can take from my statements what she wants to use to her ADVANTAGE. (Which was the whole point.)
I am always coming from the intention of respect and consideration, and genuinely wanting to help…especially for the younger girls! Enough said.
@SG2
Wish I could have walked in and told all the girls why they should consider a SD.
LOL… I can already see the headline on compus: “Live, for one night only, featuring SG2 as the sugardaddy whisperer!!”
@Jenniebug
I wonder how many responses that would get. Lol
That still wouldn’t get as many responses as the pic of you licking a lollipop!!
@SarahSH
Next time I hear someone mentions pre-med or pre-anything I’d make sure to read them the SSH speech so that they understand how wrong it is to use such less intelligent and unaccredited term to identify themselves!!
@CandiceSB
That green smile means you know that I was kinda joking, right?
Yup… there is no need to take things too seriously or too personal in the blog!
@SDGuru – LOL…I know you’re laughing at me. That’s ok – I laugh at myself several times a day! Otherwise I’d be missing the best joke on the planet!
I don’t know how to do the green smiley face.
@CandiceSB re. “This is how Porn felt when hot Co-ed’s got web cams.”
Made me laugh my a** off. Thank you. Re. Escort equivalent: just read some mid-high-end escort blogs. If they parallel your experiences in the sugar-bowl, don’t sell yourself short. That’s all.
@SH – Thank you for the spelling tip. I believe you’d likely beat me in a spelling bee! We all have our own boundaries. I’ve never slept with someone I didn’t respect or have a connection to. I’ve never faked love, affection or attraction for cash. I don’t lie, mislead, or take advantage of people. I’d never add drama to someone’s life or threaten to blackmail him. And I’d never let myself need rescuing by a “white knight.” Not that any of this applies to you. Just saying…
@Everybody
I love it here! And I love coeds ! And for that matter , I love girls of all ages ! Some I just love more than others . Bottom line –we ALL know why we each are here doing what we are all doing . What you want to call it is your business . What the public wants to call it –well we know what that is .
@ Meg
” But for Christ’s sake, have some dignity and try not to ruin the pot for the rest of us.”
We all have our price Meggie . What is unthinkable for some @ $250 /whatever is a bonanza for another .
@ Sarah
” There is a line, it may be a fine line, but it is a definitive Hard Line. ”
Call a spade a spade . Each one of us just has to be able to justify our actions to ourselves -no one else . ” One person’s line is another’s pathway ” Did Confucious say that ?
@Everybody (again ) -a musing
I DO wonder why there are so many girls – particularly young smart beautiful upwardly mobile ones — who are willing to –er –rent/ loan/ sell themselves to an old geezer like me for an allowance . I know costs are high ,etc , but what is it that changed in society that made these casual relationships more acceptable to you ? Is it generational ? I’m not being critical because I am so grateful to you beautiful ladies who make this lifestyle available to us . I’m just wondering ? And I wonder if this casual attitude towards relationships/sex/money will damage any future ability to adapt to a relationship IRL ? I personally wonder about how I would handle an offer of $$$$ to hang out with a lady who I was with only because she could pay the freight for me . But I also don’t think that I can adapt to the the real world again after experiencing this one . Do YOU think you will be able to ? Is the future going to always be about money and power ? Sorry all , I was just feeling morose about leaving my SB after two glorious days together ,and having to wait ’til next week to see her again . Ah ! This is the price of emotional involvement . And knowing that this type of arrangement is only temporary because of the nature of the beast .
SarahSH.
You have not watch Memoirs of G.?
I watched 3 times coz of the AMAZING music in the movie. (well, went to music school for 8 years and play piano).
To Meg.
Yes, this is what I wrote at the last topic… if I would date for 800 a month (the “generous ” offer from one UK pot), Meg date for $235 a date…. and 3 more girls in Manhattan do that (as your pot said) next year we would date $50 a date. Yes, it is spoiling the pot for all SBs. We can not do that. we have no right to do that.
To SarahSH. Sorry but this brunette girl on video … On her profile pictures her face is skinny, but on video her body not skinny at all! and then she plays gutar … Her nails are disaster …cheep, chipped off polish… I personally would never get a hard on with her. If her nails like that… Then was the last time she waxed and took shower… Sorry. Just my opinion , pls do not hate me.
I know … I know I am a perfectionist … if a guy show up in a cheap and dirty shoes …. Not sexy at all.
And yes, Sarah… After 4 years of MS, 4 years of residency please ADD at least 2 years of fellowship (coz with just 1 fellowship impossible to get a decent job offer in the most of the states).
To Dear Anna Molly .
I did email you like a week ago. May be you missed my e mail, pls check. thank you.
You know what’s weird? They seem to think it’s really clear cut that the SBs are in just for the money. Okay sure – let’s pretend we’re all that vain and golddigging and conniving. Why do they keep saying SDs are only in it for the sex? Why do they have to be perceived as guys who want escorts? Why can’t they just want equally vain things (looks, intelligence, etc)?
When it really comes down to it: everyone has standards, wants, and goals to be happy in a relationship? How come they display the guys as predators on poor college sugar babies selling their bodies? LOL
oops i meant to add “isn’t it true that everyone has…”
0:-)
@NYgirl: …what do you even say to an offer of $800? Like “no thank you” and walk away? do you tell them it’s too low?
@NY Girl – i was referring to the sweet looking co-ed brunette in the picture embedded in the Blog-Topic Essay…Not the brunette who was interviewed. Anyway, you’ve seen my pics, I don’t exactly look like her
… I just thought the spirit of the photo embodies that of an intelligent, bubbly college co-ed. I wouldn’t look at her and think “OH – There’s a sugar baby.” She looks like a normal, classy, co-ed. Who se actually is?…a model is my guess. But the image is spot on!
p.s. @NYGirl – I totally noticed the chipped nails too. I think, “perfectly polish, or no polish at all.” And pixie was cool, I wouldn’t pick on her, I just thinks she plucks her eyebrows too thin, thats all. I’ve made the same mistake in my younger years.
@VaGentleman: “Call a spade a spade?”
What exactly do you mean my that?
@NYGirl – Thank you for realizing my point in the 10-year booty-busting road to becoming and M.D. (sigh)
@NYGirl
Her nails are disaster …cheep, chipped off polish… I personally would never get a hard on with her…
Am I missing something in the female anatomy??
HGirl.
Omg.
I tell you. When he told me $200 each time we meet ($800 a month, for 4 months -was his offer) I was shocked , I could not lift my eyes and look at his face.
And he is rich! gold watch, perfect suit and shoes…. everything perfect…
I did not tell him anything. I said “good buy, I will e mail you. ” and left nicely.
Next day I wrote him and asked if he wants our relationship to be exclusive, “just want to know your thoughts ….” .
He answer that he thought I liked him and I would want to have just an affair/ sleep with him with no money involve at all. (something like that).
I answered “I do like you, u r sexy and if we met in bar/restaurant IRL…. I would have an affair with you . But we met not IRL… ” and I did mention $500 a date . Sarah , pls, do not tell me I think like a pro again.
It is a long story … May be write later…. And it brings the VA gent Q!!!!
CAN SBs date IRL after sugar dating.
As a scientist to a scientist (to VA) sugar/ money is a catalizator for this chemistry b/w 2 people.
Yes, with sugar all reactions / chemistry develops even faster. Kind of not sexy already without this catalizator. But may be it is me… Coz cheap guys r never sexy to me. Generosity is sexy.
@NYG – I could care less about the $ denomination, it all in the delivery!
Rate/Sell/Loan/Buy, just sounds…how it sounds
xoxo
Who all here has gotten anywhere with anyone through Seeking Arrangement? I’m not asking the Sugar Daddies this question. I just keep getting favorited and nothing else. Two men, one from New York and the other from Las Vegas, contacted me, but they just weren’t quite what I’m in to. Again, who here is getting responses from these guys. I just don’t get it. Why would you just favorite, and not contact the girl you’re interested in; supposedly?
Who are these girls who are getting cars, jewelry, money, and relationships from these men? What are they doing that some other girls aren’t. Are these girls Christie Brinkley look alikes? I’m not super model material, but I’m no dog! Also, I do mention my sexuality in my profile, so if that were that much of a turn off, I wouldn’t even get favorited.
What are these successful Sugar Babies doing right that I’m not? I’d really like to know!
I’ve had no luck over at the millionaire site. Do you have to be eighteen years old and a college co-ed to get a man here? I may be thirty-five, but I’m no old bag.
@ Va Gent re: And I wonder if this casual attitude towards relationships/sex/money will damage any future ability to adapt to a relationship IRL ? I personally wonder about how I would handle an offer of $$$$ to hang out with a lady who I was with only because she could pay the freight for me . But I also don’t think that I can adapt to the the real world again after experiencing this one . Do YOU think you will be able to ?
I think it depends on your approach to sugar dating. I view it as a transitional thing…lol…read Jenn’s post: I want to get married & have two kids eventually, and I’m having fun until I get there. I have an end-age. I also have a lot saved up, and I have an education…so not very worried.
I LOVE the older men that I hang out with, don’t get me wrong, but I also appreciate just chilling with stupid guys my own age or slightly older. And you know, I think talking to the guy with “rules” totally changed things for me…for a while, I was worried about never being able to do normal dating. (Sugar and envelopes are more than a little addictive). The idea of having “rules” in mainstream, non-sugar relationships sort of re-inspired me. As in, wow, it can be really fun to just date someone without any expectations for intimacy for 5 or 6 months.
@NewYorkGirl… so the only time he feels he should provide an allowance is if the girl doesn’t like him? Maybe a good reply would be “Well, I don’t like you now, so does that mean I get an allowance?” Good grief.
@VaGent – My guess? Generational change. Mix free love and hedonistic materialism. Add a bad economic climate and high expectations for careers (re. fulfillment, salary). Garnish with rising median age of first marriage, first child, and first full-time job…wala.
Yay…it’s all play from tonight until Monday!
VaGent – Although the age difference is not vast in my sugar world, arrangements definitely change the dynamic of traditional dating. I don’t date IRL to find a husband…I date for companionship and if it leads to something longer term…great! I gave up sugar for the past 7+ months to be with someone I fell in love with. It was the right choice, but I found the “reality” to be challenging at times. Sugar spoils you into believing all relationships can be that wonderful if you’re single. The married sugars already know better. It’s also different in that you make it a priority to create special memories in sugar where IRL it’s more of the occasional special memories mixed in with work, kids, mortgages, etc. The transition isn’t for the faint of heart and truly makes you more aware of what you want out of both.
Emily – I’ve met three genuine SDs here, but it took approximately 4 months each to meet the first two. The last I knew through prior communications, so it didn’t take as long. Currently, there is another gent with whom I have remained friends and we may consider an arrangement once I get myself back in a place where I’m open to being with a new man. I’m just not there yet. One valuable piece of advice I can give is this….don’t be too hasty to discredit someone by your initial impression. If there are “little” things like hair color or height…give it a few e-mails or conversations before you dismiss him. Sugar dating can be full of surprises if you let it.
Where is SouthernCharmSB?
To Dorky.
Yes, it is funny. Would a guy feel better about himself and offer a nice offer:) if I show him/let him sense “I do not like you … So u have to offer an allowance ”
May be now I gave to fake it, pretend I do not like him, but might do him a favor by allowing him to be with me with a good allowance.
Coz 2 guys (the tv host and one italian guy) told me I am too good to be a SB , I should be a GF, and he likes me I like him … So we do nit need an arragement,
And (to ContentSB) then a guy says “u r emotional unavailable … I have feeling for you … ” like ur ex SD … Means he wants date u for free now.
Oh.. This tv host would write ” forgive me for falling in love with too fast … ” bla.. Blah.. 2 pages… I read it like “I want to date u for free since u like me and I “love” you”
How I want to tell them ” go match.com kinds site… ”
If a guy wants to safe his money and do not do arragement he fakes he is in love with me.
I know I am a kind girl, I am too kind .. So I have to really watch out and do not let guys to use/abuse my kindness .
( I do not know how to verbalize it, may be I have to think more about this phenomenon )
NewYorkGirl ~ I don’t get it either. If I love someone it is the opposite . . . I want to be generous and give her a wonderful life. I would think that if he wants it for free it is because he doesn’t love and just wants to get layed with as little investment as possible.
DorkyGuy – I can see how you drew your conclusion, however, in all fairness, if a man comes to a sugar site and states that he is willing to provide x, y, z, then he shouldn’t feel slighted that a lady is expecting x, y, z. Although she may find him fun and attractive, she is here for a specific type of relationship…hopefully the same as him…pretty girl, no drama, no strings, etc…. Unfortunately, there are so many men who will play in the sandbox, but don’t want to share their toys.
I know there are players on both sides, but it just makes you put up your guard. It takes a strong woman to be comfortable in this type of arrangement, but it takes a stronger man to trust that she is not strictly in it for the money. The other avenues would be far easier.
I watched a show with a SB that was 52 years old; I said if she can be a SB I know I could. I’m African American (want to be SB) age 42 with the brains, looks etc. Are there any African American SB that get alot of SD responses? Did you have to wait a long time before any responses? Did you email any potential SD or just wait for a message from them? Can I get some responses from SB or SD.
Thanks
Looks like another visit to NY is in my near future. I love this site!
@sarahsweetheart Aww, your comment just made my day! We should just run away together and give each other $20k allowances…
@VAGent I love this world specifically because it is different than the “real” one for me. I get to be an ultra-glamorous, polished version of myself. This is why I don’t think it will be that difficult for me to adjust back to non-sugar dating. To me, it’s a world I get to play in for a while, before I go back to life, and eventually I hope to be able to afford the lifestyle for myself that sugar currently gives me.
Like meg and jenn, I also see this as a transition phase in life. I’m not ready to settle down and have children, and this is a great way to have a non-pressure, high fun dating experience. I like sugar dating because it is always meant to be transitory – not a forever thing. When I date outside of the sugar bowl, for me it is to find the person I want to be with for the rest of my life. There is no sense for me in getting involved in a serious relationship when I believe I am too young to marry. I could just do casual dating, but to me that’s not as fun, especially when I could essentially be doing it and getting some sugar. Plus, I just think that older men are super sexy
Re: Allowances and sugar dilution
I’m definitely in the position that any amount of money is helpful to me. I mean, the $200 most of you would sneer at pays my rent. However, I am also in the position where I know that I am worth more than that, and I’m not desperate to find an SD as such, I never feel pressured to accept a lower offer than what I feel I am worth. My main problem is that I wind up having such an amazing time with my SD that I always feel like I wouldn’t need an allowance to stay with him! However, I feel like a true SD is happy to provide. My rule for sugar is that an arrangement shouldn’t feel stressful or cheap to either of the people involved.
I am like Stormcat. When I find someone I truly believe in and care about, I don’t care what it would cost, I just want them to have the best. I want to enhance their life within my means, as best as I can. The $$$ aren’t the only thing that defines generosity – experiences and thoughtfulness mean just as much. However, especially in the beginnings of a relationship, one might not always know what best supports the ambitions of the SB. This is where a cash allowance comes in handy, as I have a better knowledge of my finances than my SD does. Of course, it helps that I am responsible and on top of my expenses.
I had a pot SD who when it came to a discussion of allowance, offered me $200 / month! I just kinda stared at him for a little while, and then stated that I had hoped he would consider my goals (education) as more worthy than that amount. He just replied, “well, I don’t need to pay for date, I’m a popular guy.” I found that attitude to be such a turnoff. I want my SD to love providing for me, not regard it as a chore. It’s just like how SDs want a SB that genuinely enjoys their company.
So many comments to read and catch up on! Hope everyone is having a great week!!
@ Midwest – enjoy your break and hope you aced that test!
@SouthernGent2 – here I am! Yes, you are correct. Small town gal in the big city
Sooo. I got emailed for the whatsyourprice book interviews today. Has anyone on here participated, or know what kind of questions they ask? I’m curious.
@TinTinSB: “I had a pot SD who when it came to a discussion of allowance, offered me $200″
Oh, dear me! I believe this pot[hole] of an SD has set a record low.
“well, I don’t need to pay for date, I’m a popular guy.”
Erm…well, why is he on SA then? Did he not see the dollar sign in the heart symbol?
“I found that attitude to be such a turnoff. I want my SD to love providing for me, not regard it as a chore. It’s just like how SDs want a SB that genuinely enjoys their company.”
I agree. When a pot SD acts like this, he puts you in such an awkward position. [it's the same with NyGirl pot's 'but I thought you liked me' comment].
Here’s a possible reply: “Well, I have a sugar dating track, and a boyfriend track, and I normally look for people on the boyfriend track on websites like OK Cupid but…if you…Oh my god!!! [squeek] Does that mean you’ve started arranging the divorce papers? [grab his arm, increase excitement] Oh my goodness, I’ve ALWAYS wanted a prince charming…my mom will absolutely LOVE your accent…and my friends have always joked that since my last name also begins with a ‘ton,’ I’d have been the PER-FECT match for prince William but you’re completely adorable and…oh my god, I need to text them right now!! I just saw the cutest little baby clothes…You know, I was really thinking, since you also studied French, that we could hire a French Au Pair, I’ve heard that children learn languages best if they’re bi-lingual in the first 5 years of life…I know that I’ll be staying at home for the first 5 years, but if we hire an au pair, it’s really a negligible expense and then I can continue to pursue my embroidery projects!!…
Oh. You want to be on the sugar track. Right. So…why, again were you asking me that question?”
Or, what I’ve said when this has happened was simply: “Listen. I know I’m a generous, caring person. I don’t like to become intimate until I’ve established the same is true of the other person. Supporting my personal goals financially is one way to demonstrate generosity. Another way is to be friends first and then demonstrate that over 6 or 8 months of dating. So if you just want to date, take it slow, and see where things go, that’s fine. Up to you.”
It doesn’t change a fake sugar daddy into a real sugar daddy. But at this point, you already know he’s fake and it’s really enjoyable to watch the reactions…
Discreat ~ Welcome to the blog. Your questions are ones commonly asked and are answered in the topic archives. That said, I feel your anxiety in getting started. Might I suggest that as a first step you post your profile number here and ask for some critique.
NYGirl ~ I haven’t checked my email in a while so I probably have missed it, sorry! I’ll check and write back.
Morning everyone!!
@ SarahSweetheart
“Call a spade a spade?”
What exactly do you mean my that?
Refer to the Urban Dictionary –”to expose somebody 4 wat dey are when every one else is too scared to. “
Hmm, good question!
Is that like when the pot calls the kettle black?
I’m confused too.
Back to coeds, privacy issues and some being not so private. I had mentioned someone I used to see that was terrified of being caught. She was almost too private to a fault. I respect that, but it caused problems that could not be overcome.
OTOH, I have seen many coeds that are not private enough. The typical email swap of pictures yields a real name or a real email address that is easily tied to Facebook. I have seen cell numbers posted on FB for anyone to find. That is being a bit too careless.
That is why I have a separate fb, just for the site. Unless I have talked to someone enough to let them get me a plane ticket, they don’t need my name.
@TintinSB
” I want my SD to love providing for me, not regard it as a chore. It’s just like how SDs want a SB that genuinely enjoys their company. ”
I love bringing my SB $$$ and treats and wish I could do more . At the same time I would love it if she gave some sign that money is not the only catalyst that drives this amazing relationship . Since we have an agreement to pay as we go , an occasional ” You’ve been too good to me –tonight’s on me ” would really send me the message that I mean more to her than just a payday . Even if I refused the kind gesture the meaning would be worth tons .
@ Jenniebug…lol. Absolutely like “when the pot calls the kettle black!” Although…
@ VA Gent – I don’t think it’s actually ‘selling/renting/leasing’ your body. It’s more like ‘catalyzing chemistry’ or ‘impairing good-girl override’ or ‘impairing oh-god-he’s-as-old-as-my-dad override’ or ‘contracting an entertainer…’ depending on the relationship.
Surrogacy/organ ‘donations’ fit well into the selling/leasing/renting category. That’s why the wealthy can outsource reproductive and organ transplant needs to people earning under $60.00/month in third-world-countries and save loads; you don’t have to have chemistry or enjoy conversation with someone you’re getting a kidney from or who’s carrying your child. You don’t even have to ever meet them in person. As long as they’re moderately healthy and d&d free, your own experience is in no way affected by their happiness (so long as they’re properly monitored and well-fed during the rental/transplant period).
Consensual arrangements between two adults that involve intimacy and conversation don’t. The experience would suck with someone who doesn’t speak your language, who’s cold, apathetic or indifferent, who can’t hold a conversation, who shows up in rags with missing teeth, who clearly isn’t happy or hates your guts when they’re with you…
Er…the difference is: I’m pretty sure sick people would be equally satisfied, maybe even prefer an artificial kidney (or liver…) that served the same function as one transplanted from a human. My guess also – infertile couples would be equally satisfied, maybe even prefer it if their test-tube baby could gestate in a test-tube as well.
Guys are never going to want to fulfill their needs for emotional & physical connection with a robot; fly over prostitutes from third world countries? My guess is that demand for sugar babies/courtesans/mid-high-end escorts wouldn’t drop all that much.
Just my two cents…
@ Meg
” My guess is that demand for sugar babies/courtesans/mid-high-end escorts wouldn’t drop all that much. ”
True –it’s all in a name . ” call a spade a spade ” and a “pot calling the kettle black “
@VA Gent re – “I love bringing my SB $$$ and treats and wish I could do more . At the same time I would love it if she gave some sign that money is not the only catalyst that drives this amazing relationship.”
Yup. Personally think that’s the main disadvantage of pay-per-meet relationships.
If it’s hourly, she can hang out a few extra hours, you can tip or give a gift or give extra for a shorter meeting. If it’s monthly, she could offer to meet up more than you initially agreed upon, you could offer to meet less, you could offer to treat her to a restaurant, play, whatever she’s been wanting to see at one of the meetings.
You seem like an up-front guy…but I’ve personally found that “oh, it’s on me this time” is a step down a slippery slope towards drama and entitlement. The agreed upon amount maintains boundaries…plus, she’s relying on a set number of meetings with a set level of financial support WITH YOU to maintain her lifestyle.
@Meg — “The agreed upon amount maintains boundaries…plus, she’s relying on a set number of meetings with a set level of financial support WITH YOU to maintain her lifestyle”
Not all SBs rely on their SD to maintain a certain lifestyle. In fact many are self-sufficient without a SD, and simply use their allowances as “fun money,” or put it towards tuition, student loans, books, etc.
This conversation sickens me. Seriously. Vomit.
Alright… Escort talk is boring. Lets change the subject. Sex is much more fun to talk about.
@VaGentleman – Why are you hanging out with her if you don’t believe she likes you? Doesn’t make any sense?
@VA gent – another option could be – “Hey. I absolutely love spending time with you. But I don’t want you to feel like you have to meet with me in order to receive the benefits. So how about I just deposit the agreed upon weekly amount in your bank account regardless, and then we can just meet up because we enjoy each company.”
@meg, exactly, sticking to the exact agreement maintains boundaries. I think Va Gent would like the boundaries weakened a bit.
@SarahS, aww, what’s bothering you about it?
@Jenniebug: what do you have in mind?
1) Best sexual experience ever.
2) First sexual experience.
3) Most awkward sexual experience.
4) Oddest sexual request ever received.
5) Favorite Position.
6) Least favorite position.
7) Does penis size or shape matter.
8) Does unshaved v. whatever matter.
9) What actor/actress would you want as an SD/SB?
10) Best date in the sugar bowl.
11) Best pick-up line you’ve ever received.
12) Something someone did for you that turned you on like crazy.
…lol. You pick.
I don’t think I’ve ever had a set monthly allowance from any guy I’ve dated off of this site. There have been awesome gifts, lots of spoiling, and “extra help” if i needed it. But now that i look back, no allowance.
Lets go with #1.Ha, There’s a guy on the site that has a device that he calls the magic genie! He doesn’t even have to have sex with a girl to get her off. Best time of my life!
Oooh, and just for the heck of it.. lets talk about #8…. Shaved. Sorry but facial hair on a guy just isn’t my thing.
1a.) Best Kinky Sexual Experience Ever: The guy – attractive. 6’2. Tall, slim. Great in Bed. 4 ft. radius circular mirror on the wall to the left of his bed in the hotel. On top. Doggie. Giving oral on my knees…lol…wouldn’t want to ALWAYS watch myself in bed but OH MY GOD were we hot.
b.) Best Holistic Sexual Experience Ever: SD. Missionary, his weight on my body, holding one of my hands behind my head, emotional connection…very good in bed, and the softest skin too!
c.) Best ‘never-gets-old’ sexual experience: cuddly, face-to-face on our sides, holding eachother sex with a boyfriend I had.
@Jennie – I’ve heard of that! I really need a guy’s body pressed against mine to orgasm, though. Re. #8 – for the most part, agree! Although I do like a 2-day shadow.
Oh…and since this is the co-ed blog topic…
I thought some of you might get a laugh out of this:
Google “blackboards in porn.”
2 day shadow is fine. But when I can compare a guy to Santa clause……
Checked up on the “sorority speech” thing with some of my alum-sisters just for kicks … no frickin way they would allow it! It would have to be secret/private. No surprise there. Sororities are very image conscious (another no-brainer lol) …
For Ex: To quote@VaGentleman aka ‘Lonely Boy’ … “call a spade a spade…..pay per meet”…agonizing over not thinking a girl likes him etc. … thats the kind of negative vibe/image/connotation that universities and sororities don’t want to be associated with.
And the mere mention of the word escort would send them into shock.
Want more co-ed SB’s?
Not to be rude to anyone, but I never got the point of people saying “That’s my two cents.” If your point is not moot, shouldn’t it be worth more then just two cents? Hmmm, I would hope so.
@Sarah Sweetheart
” Why are you hanging out with her ” ?
fair enough question Sarah. I must sound whiny to you but I feel like “talking” to you all here on the blog is like talking to 100 therapists and friends at once –for free no less !
In reality I am extremely happy and my SB treats me like $million . The PTP version works for us and in reality she makes more than she would if we cemented a monthly allowance in place . I definitely feel like we have a GF/BF relationship in that time is never a question and we interact as partners. It’s just that with this venue –the nature of the beast if you will –it is born and bred on money. I am emotionally involved enough to be taking that mental step from a business relationship to more . Am I cheap ? –absolutely not , but I want some “sign” that I am more than the sum of my dollars. Will I get it ? Probably not–except that she does tell me . In the end , this arrangement is just that . I know this gorgeous young lady is enjoying her time with me and appreciates my lucre. I also know she would never be with me without the Sugar bowl —so kudos to SA and Brandon for creating this world where older gents can have access to beautiful young ladies .
By the way Sarah —you seem to be angry . What is going on ? ( I ask as a caring fellow blogger BTW and not in a confontational way) ..
@ Meg
RE: # 8 Does it help you( SBs ) to orgasm with intercourse if you are shaved vs. having a full bush ?
#5 My fav position is face to face with our arms around each other ,lips locked , bodies glued together, and slowly moving with the tempo of love
#6 my least fav is any disconnected position –doggie for example –where there is no connection except genital . I like to bring all of the senses into play -smell, touch , max body surface connected , eye contact face to face .
(…oops cut off the last part)
Want more co-ed SB’s? Yes?
Then stop marking Gems as “spades”. No college girl wants to be labeled as a slut (Even though we all act naughty sometimes. But thats beside the point.)
…it’s that stigma exactly that “terrifies” young women from having a SD (Well, at least one from a website with a public image that already raises eyebrows.)
That being said this SD and co-ed SB thing isn’t new. It happens ALL the time. But you are NOT going to see a bouncy bright-eyed co-ed schlepping around with some random Larry who calls her a “spade.”
@VaGentleman – “In reality I am extremely happy and my SB treats me like $million.”
Remember that
Enough said about this comment about “calling a —- ” This is totally not a racial slur if you think that is what it is about . It is a reference to playing cards and the suit and it never occured to me that anyone would interpret it as such . Perhaps this is a generational thing.
@ Sarah Sweetheart
Remember that
Thanks –I needed that !
@ VA Gentleman- your sb sounds super sweet. Aww!
Thats a racial slur? Wow, where have i been lol
Wikipida yo! It’ll tell you everything about everything.
…I don’t hear about these things in Happy Oblivious Land
Jenniebug
@ VA Gentleman- your sb sounds super sweet. Aww!
She is Amazing !
Ooooh, wouldn’t it be cool if we could have the option to put an awesome quote at the bottom of our blog posts? Kind of like a signature….
Jenniebug – I love that Idea. Either at the bottom or in a small subscript below the photograph.
Well, its a pretty day outside. This means I’m waisting time indoors. Time to go worship the sun!
StaciM – I know it would never happen in a million years. It was just good hypothetical idea
Hi Stormcat~ I know you just started looking again and wondered how you are dealing with moving on from your old gf/sb? How does she feel? Does she know about this transition?
You are a rare, very romantic soul. I wish you the best upon best on your search.
VAGentleman~ Your expression of happiness with your SB is heart-warming and gives me a warm glow inside. I love reading “success stories” like yours. Carry on, Darlin’, carry on. And of course, if anything happens, we’ll be here for ya.
EnglishRose~ Like other bloggers, I miss you too!! Hope you stop by again soon.
* just read through the intro of this blog~ haha!
does that mean if we are not co-eds,we are not intelligent,interesting and not highly sought after??
lol
sorry its a load of cr***
@VAGent~an occasional ” You’ve been too good to me –tonight’s on me ” would really send me the message that I mean more to her than just a payday . Even if I refused the kind gesture the meaning would be worth tons .
~i felt this way at some point with my reltionship with my Sd,i felt he was giving me more than we have agreed,all the time,and much more with out me asking for anythign extr,i actually feel a bit shy to accept more from him…~ so one night,when i knew he was having a long day at the office and i had a terrible few days,he asked if he can come and see me and take me to dinner…i never asked him to come my way,so i asked kindly,would he want to come on the other side of the river to see me? in a heart beat he said he would
in my mind i thought i wanted to surprise him with a nice dinner instead at a place by the river and cocktails afterwards…just for him to know i appreciate everything he does/gives me…he was quite surprised when i said if i can please pay for tonight, he looked at me,smiled and said,please baby,no! but i saw in his eyes how he smiled~i was scared i might have offended him,but what i saw was genuine graitude for that gesture..and he didnt have to say anything more… xxx i knew it by the way he held me that night!
a lot of strong opinions here
StormCat~ Thanks for responding, my SB # is 880966…I appreciate any help you or anyone can give me…
Wow what a day! Spent the whole day putting in an antique wood stove with an izenglass front. Badly cut my finger on the stovepipe, Fell off the roof into a snowbank. (kind of a fun trip, hehehe) Got the house really cold by opening up the wall (watching money flying out the opening, grrrr!) But I got it in and now the house is really tosty.and the atmosphere, lovely.
Babydoll ~ At the risk of sounding maudlin I must say that your post evolked such a whelling of emotion that I began to cry! (In a good way) It’s an idealistic stance but I guess I’ve just been wishing for that very kind of connection.
Well I’m really on a roll today, My phone just died. I think I’ll just get a book and a bottle of congnaq, esconse myself in front of the fire, and wait for tomorrow! Maybe then I’ll be able to spell better too.
Kindred, I think I need to get back to you on that.
Aww… Stormypoo! It tottaly sucks that your phone died in the middle of our talk. I hope you have a good night tonight. Mmm, fire and wine sounds like an amazing evening. Sounds like cuddle weather to me.
OK I’ll bite
“1) Best sexual experience ever.” 3 Tai Sisters in a Hong Kong Hotel room?
“2) First sexual experience.” My honeymoon with my first wife.
“3) Most awkward sexual experience.” My honeymoon with my first wife.
“4) Oddest sexual request ever received.” Never thought anything was all that odd!
“5) Favorite Position.” Accepting the plaque and the CHEQUE
“6) Least favorite position.” Defending my dissertation! Pure Hell!!!
“7) Does penis size or shape matter.” It ain’t braggin if it’s true!
” Does unshaved v. whatever matter.” Well if you are open minded . . .
“9) What actor/actress would you want as an SD/SB?” I love Angelina Jolie (She’s such a slut) But I can’t stand Julia Roberts (She’s such a slut)
“10) Best date in the sugar bowl.” I really can’t remember. It was like a dream! Maybe it hasn’t happened yet?
“11) Best pick-up line you’ve ever received.” I never gave anyone a chance to go first!
“12) Something someone did for you that turned you on like crazy.” It’s all in the mind. It’s aaaaalllllll iiiiiinnn thaaaaa Miiiiiind!!!!!!
@Sarahs – “Thats a racial slur? Wow, where have i been lol.”
Where have you been? In the post-civil rights movement not-South…lol.
Had the same reaction! I have relatives who relocated down-south…will have to call them and see if it’s still something under-30s would think of as a racial slur…
Ok..I need anyone’s and everyone’s opinion on this one.
we will figure it out”
Met a pot SD on AM. He actually hasn’t ever been a SD, but told me that this is something he would be interested in since he doesn’t want to bed-hop.
We talked through email..then he gave me his mobile number. He told me he did a bit of reading on the Sugar lifestyle..and knew the basics – but that he just didn’t know what I wanted as far as monthly allowance and such. I had bad experiences with blurting out numbers with prior pots..(never even got to the meeting part of it)..and so I told him “It’s negotiable..I don’t really want to be throwing out numbers right away. We can talk about things when we meet in person”..
So ANYWHO…we had this AMAZING connection right away..I started dreaming about him like the first night he started emailing me! This is VERY strange, because I have had my share of rendezvous and communications with lovers, etc..but something was a bit MORE with HIM. He even used his work email to send me some pics..(I took this as a sign that he was really feeling me..and felt no threat as far as me abusing his information…which made me assume that he really, really liked me..a lot!) A few days after we started emailing/messaging he told me about a 3 day Vegas trip he has planned for the weekend of the 10th. He said that he would love me to go with him if things work out.
SO…we met this past Saturday…and OMG…he was even cuter in person..(he’s only a yr older than me) He had a smile from ear to ear and we walked into TGIFridays..we sat at one side of the bar…the secluded part. There was an AMAZING connection and chemistry between us. Our personalities totally clicked – with humor, intellect, physical attraction, everything! We kissed and it was one of the best kisses I’ve had in my life..SO passionate and tender..and I dare say loving! Now I have dated quite a few men..and have kissed these men..and have had sex with these men..but NOTHING, I mean NOTHING compares to the way I felt about THIS guy. He couldn’t keep his hands off me.(kept touching my hair..my legs..my hands…caressing my shoulders and rubbing my back..leaning in to kiss me..and he even necked with me!..He literally leaned to me and put his neck to my neck…and stayed there kissing my neck and whispering in my ear)..He effing MELTED ME!…So I, being the diplomat that I am, decided it was time to bring up the arrangement thing. We started talking about it..and he said again he didn’t know about what all is expected, etc.. So I felt weird about having to be the one to explain every detail of it..So when he saw that I was kinda shying away a bit..he then brought up how he knows that money is involved, etc..Then I clarified that it’s allowance…He said, “yeah, monthly allowance”..To explain further how he “got” what it was about, he said something like “so If 1000 was put on a credit card, that would be the monthly allowance…and then the next month, another 1000 would be put on the card” I was SO happy that he knew what he was talking about, and that he got it! My mistake was that I didn’t say “YES..that’s the exact amount I wanted..that would be perfect”..or something like that..But I don’t know why I didn’t! I just kissed him and said how happy I was that he realized what all is involved with this sort of relationship. So we made out some more…and we talked about Vegas..and I honestly felt that he was going to be, without a doubt, my SD! And that I was going to go to Vegas with him. Honestly..I was on cloud 9 with this guy…It felt karmic…seriously!
His daughter called him and so he said he was going to have to leave in a little bit. (It wasn’t long enough that I was with him! It was almost 2 hours..and it wasn’t enough!)
So I asked him as I held his hands and then kissed his fingers…”So what are we gonna do now? What’s gonna happen next?” He said..”We’re gonna have to meet again..and continue this”..He walked me to my car…and we had another INTENSE make out session. This time we were able to embrace and he was telling me how good I felt..I honestly had to keep myself from blurting out “I love you” to him!..The chemistry was something I hadn’t felt in like EVER, I don’t think!
But I am very intuitive…and I felt something in the force..that night.
I felt that somehow he was gonna pull away from me…
I only began to feel that when I texted him after I got home. (I can’t remember what it was exactly..but it was basically about how amazing our meeting was..SOMETHING like that)..And then he didn’t text back till like 2 hours afterwards..and then said something about how he just got home from the movies. I instantly started over analyzing things and thought maybe he just said that to explain why he got back to me so many hours later, and not because he had really been to the movies. I told him how I was on Cloud 9 all the way home..and couldn’t wait to see him again..He said the same..about couldn’t wait to see me again, etc..Then I asked him…”Do you want something with me? I want this with you, I want to give this thing a try” He texted back..”I do, I really do want to give this a try. I want to be naked with you”..
Then on Monday..I texted him and told him “Good morning (his name)..we need to set up a second meeting, if you are still interested, that is” He Texts back..”:-), we do!!” So of course I was super excited that his response seemed still so positive. So I text back..”Let’s do this thing! This is going to be so funky and fun! Let’s shoot for tomorrow night, perhaps?” And then that ugly uncertainty crept up INSTANTLY..like a ton of bricks..and I then texted something that I PROBABLY shouldn’t have..maybe you all can give me an opinion about if you think I blew it or not with this text. I said in the text..”Just want to know if we’re gonna do this..cause I don’t want to take anymore of your time if you are unsure about me.” Now I know that sounds like a no no…but I phrased it that way..cause I wanted him to subtly get the hint that he should maybe shit or get off the pot (so to speak) I wanted to subtly give him the hint that he should maybe jump at our second meeting..cause if he’s not interested (which would have crushed me) that I’m gonna have to be moving on. SO..he didn’t answer me until literally 2 hours later! He goes..”I have class tomorrow night, I have class every Tuesday”…By now i’m feeling like “OMG…it has happened..he has gone cold” Cause If he still had that passion for me wouldn’t he be making sure to text me..and jumping at the chance to see me again?? So he texted that..and I wanted to give him a bit of his own medicine..so I waited an hour before I texted him back. When I did finally text him I said..” ok then (his name)..I guess we’ll just let things fall into place..and we’ll play it by ear”…Then he texts back an hour later ”
Then I texted him on Wed. and I sent him a few pics of me. We exchanged a few risque sentences…and then that’s it! He hasn’t texted in 2 days!
PLEASE forgive me with this insanely long blog entry…but I am going NUTS here!
I’ve given him plenty of opportunities to tell me to fuck off..(if that’s what he wants)..But it SEEMS as though he has pulled the reigns on this thing. I hate waiting…I hate not knowing. I cannot fathom how all of a sudden he seems to be not talking. I know he’s getting ready for the Super Bowl (gonna have a giant party at his house) Am I just freaking out for no good reason??? Could it be that he’s not texting because he feels and knows that he IS gonna have something with me, so he feels confident enough to not have to text me everyday since he’s busy working and getting ready for his party? Another theory I have is that maybe he is testing ME? Maybe he thinks i’m so experienced (which I’m not..I just know all the lingo but haven’t ever had a SD! I’m just as much a newbie as he is!) and that I can’t possibly have sincere feelings for him because he assumes I’m this totally experienced SB that has lots of game and that i’m some major player? Could it be that he wants to see how sincere I am by seeing if I’ll making huge efforts with him? UGH! but I won’t! If that’s what he’s waiting for, he won’t get it..cause I won’t be vulnerable like that..I’m not into pain and honestly..if I put my neck out too far with him..and he doesn’t reciprocate..I will be crushed..So I CAN’T do it!
I find it hard to believe that after all the electricity we felt together, that he wouldn’t even want to give it a try?WTF..that makes NO sense whatsoever! I KNOW that he has it bad sexually for me..so I can’t even FATHOM that he would not even try a little?? Considering that he hasn’t ever been in a Sugar relationship..could it be that he is scared of it? Could he be worried that since he brought up that “1000 monthly on a credit card” and that I didn’t say anything about that amount..could he be worried I want more?..and maybe that is why he doesn’t seem to want to set up a second meeting yet.because maybe he’s scared I might want more than that? Could he be shying away because what he felt for me when we met has blown his mind?..which is something he didn’t expect…cause I didn’t expect it either..maybe???
Give me some feedback, please!
And so sorry about the long post..but I cannot stop thinking about him :///
@grasshoper – There are so many explanations as to what happened.
He’s freaked out because he’s looking for no-drama/NSA and got the sense you were too into him.
He really likes you but is new to the sugar-bowl and is a bit like a horse without blinders right now.
He thought he was looking to get into something immediately but realized he wants to spend a few weeks/months just dating/shopping around before settling. He is actually a womanizer. He’s really just very busy. Maybe he likes you/got the sense you like him but doesn’t want that kind of relationship yet.
Personally, I don’t think the allowance thing is the issue–at all! Seems like a completely reasonable amount, and I doubt he’s getting oh-crap-that’s-too-much remorse. Also seems like you talked about it in a very discreet way. My guess is commitment-phobia…
I’m not him…so really can’t say.
What I can say though is 99.9% sure it isn’t you…it’s just bad timing or wanting different things or fantastic pick-up-artistry on his part.
Well – he mentioned Vegas on the 10th of Feb – yes? That’s not so far off. If that doesn’t pan out, it isn’t meant to be. If it does…well then…you’re stressing yourself out for naught!
Here are three text messages I might send…
1) “BFF asked me to [help move/go on a weekend trip to the Hamptons/take her sunday shift.] Is Vegas still on the plate? Or should I tell her she doesn’t have to move on to plan B.”
2) Hey you. Thought about it: not 100% comfortable traveling with someone I’ve only known for 2 hours. So if you still have that in mind, would love to get some together-time in before jetting off.
3) Hey you. Was thinking about it…let’s scrap Vegas. I know you’re new to SA and might want to meet a few people before settling into an arrangement. That said, have been in the sugar pool for a bit longer and really enjoyed meeting you. So no pressure. Stay in touch, and if you get in contact again and I’m still free, would love to go for a round two.
Oh…for some reason, assumed he was a single guy on SA…
Just saw the AM thing…I’m not sure what that site is like.
If he’s on AM, I assume he’s married. So he’s married. And he works. And he has kids. Sounds like a very busy fellow to me. Have also found that married guys [at least AT FIRST] are primarily looking for light, drama-free fun. So…maybe he mind-read the “I-love-you” sentence you held back and is feeling conflicted/doesn’t want to lead you on/doesn’t want to deal with the responsibility of being in an emotion-filled affair? Or making plans with his mistress-to-be isn’t the first task on his mental to-do-list?
I totally get the connection-thing and the ‘best-kissing’ thing. Been there too. But since you’ve only seen him once…and are already wringing your hands over this…do you really want to spend more time with him and get in further? Doesn’t seem like a good starting point!
He hasn’t done sugar dating…but has he had an affair before [sorry...assuming he's married now]? If he has, maybe he’s learned to mentally compartmentalize and NOT think [for the most part] about the woman he’s having an affair with when he’s at home, with his friends, at work, etc.
Lol…but I don’t know anything. It sounds like you have a great, passionate connection with him. If it does pan out, that’s great!! You’ll just need to learn how to prevent yourself from letting your emotions get out of hand/thinking about him all the time…and just enjoy the time you spend together and adapt to his temporal and emotional availability (and you’ll probably get a better feel of that & the uncertainty will go away for the most part if it’s regular).
If not…hey. There are many fish in the sea…and you’ll find someone equally awesome who won’t stress you out so much!!
Hey all. Glad to hear all the experiences from others never a dull moment around here. Little bummed my pot is out of the country right now so no sugar. I plan to fix that when he returns though. Wish I could hook up with some fellow SBs for “girl talk” but I’ll live
On the blog topic: my school didn’t make the list so no idea if I am flying solo on campus or not. I would figure there would have to be at least one other SB or pot SB around though there are 5+ secondary education institutions around here.
Am I the only one amused that they are called institutions? Like you are expected to go a little nutty.
@Grasshopper –
From girl to girl I can take a guess at why you might be going bonkers…maybe you got physical with him before you felt safe and built trust? I dunno…I’ve done it (guilty of being a typical female ☺), and then proceed to drive myself nutty thinking about the person and making assumptions, and maybe even feel a little taken advantage of. Next time, you might want to wait until you feel safe enough/trust the person enough FIRST before you do any of the physical stuff…You know, to protect yourself from being hurt or drowning in your own thoughts. Just a thought…
In hindsight (it’s so nice how hindsight can be 20/20): He told you in person on your two-hour date that you two “would discuss where to go next.” At that point, I would thank him right then and there for the date, tell him that you had a wonderful time, and leave the ball in his court for HIM contact YOU again.
In general, it seems as though you are initiating a lot of the contact with him. I would cut back on that, or stop initiating entirely.
I personally wouldn’t text or email too much, and in the best case not at all. If you have any questions/assumptions on your mind, write them down and wait until you speak with him.
Remember how good you felt when you were with him? That’s because you were WITH him…there is no way to replicate that until you see him again (Or meet another Mr. Wonderful). Just remember that good experience for what it was: A good experience ☺
In the future, if you have any expectations, talk about them up-front, before you put yourself at the risk of being hurt – or drowning in your own thoughts.
If you don’t have something to do in the 10th, then you will be available when he contacts you. If you have something to do on the 10th, then go do it. In the meantime, go about your life as you would if he wasn’t a part of it. If the 10th comes around and you aren’t available, then “too-bad-so-sad” for him. Next time he will figure it out sooner….if you’re even around and haven’t moved on to the next Mr. Wonderful!
xoxo
@Grasshopper – I don’t know anything about AM. I did check it out one day because someone on this blog mentioned it. But when I checked out the AM site I just sensed a bad vibe so I haven’t checked back on it. A girlfriend of mine met her amazing boyfriend on SeekingMillionaire.com (which is SeekingArrangements’ sister site) so I got the reference to this site by word of mouth. I’ve met really nice people from both of the sites so I would (and have) recommend it to a friend.
***This is a post that someone is going to say should be offline, etc. @Midwest will want to spank me for it
So just skip it unless you don’t mind reading something personal***
@meg – You are funny! I crack up at the things you write.
So, something about being opinionated/judgmental caught my attention. I probably sound judgmental without even realizing it! … I’m not an experienced writer or blogger, and in reality, I wouldn’t share a fraction of my opinions that I write here IRL. Any views that I have on escorting come from personally witnessing a friends downward spiral: A close friend of mine from high-school started escorting in her mid 20′s. Her approach was entirely different from what you described as yours was. Her approach was very careless and self-destructive in the sense that she could care less who she slept with, did things with men that she didn’t really want to do just bc they gave her a lot of money, got into drugs, had a loser abusive bf, misled clients, lied and manipulated their emotions, stole from guys!, and generally just stopped caring about herself and others, in regards to her clients all she ever did was complain about how awful they were. Her values totally changed from pre-escort to now, in a negative way: she became overly materialistic and neglected the value in sisterhood and shared experienced. Her friendship with myself and others in our circle of friends suffered greatly. We felt like we lost a friend, almost like part of her was lost or dead, it’s just missing and it still hasn’t come back. It’s just sad to see a friend do things to hurt themselves. It was naive of me to assume that her experience in escorting represents all experience in escorting. Its silly of me to be judgmental about a person I never met and assume that your experience was like hers. So, I’m sorry for doing that. I don’t have an issue with escorting the way that you described it (and the fact that it isn’t illegal, anyway.) It’s honestly something that I know very little about aside from the described experience. I appreciate that you’ve shared your perspective, you’ve helped me understand something better that I’ve been in conflict with for some time now. So long as something isn’t illegal or causing people harm, I don’t have an issue with it. I truly didn’t intend to be rude or judgmental or be offensive…I think you get it. I just had that “aha!” moment where I realized that my negative view on escorting isn’t because of you. Again, Sorry. I don’t realize that I sound like a jerk sometimes
5) Favorite sexual position? Chinese Spinning Basket Sex… at least it would be if I could find the contraption
Hey sugars!
Grasshopper- there isn’t really an easy way to say this, but i fear you sounded a little too eager. I realize the chemistry was a big driver, but he may think it was the allowance. You need to reel in some of tat excitement and continue with your normal life. Men are men and still have that primal urge to hunt. Wait a few more days and maybe send something that triggers a memory of your kiss, but keep it short. Then go do something…anything and don’t obsess about him. Good luck!
I’m off to enjoy some live music and cocktails on the beach!
@meg Yes..he is married (as am I)..and has had affairs before. Don’t know if they were just one night stands or if he ever had ongoing things with anyone of them, though. But yeah..he is familiar with rendezvousing, etc..
He hasn’t done sugar dating before..true..and I’m sure all this new information could be a bit overwhelming to him, in general. But when we met..and he was interested..I had to do the disclaimer thing with him, and I let him know that I was seeking a SB/SD relationship ONLY..and that if this is not for him then I understand..And that I am very philosophical about life..and that he and I could still have a platonic friendship. He replied saying that this is something he would be interested in..mainly because I am so close to him and that he prefers not to bed-hop. And in another email…I told him that I was afraid he MIGHT NOT know EXACTLY what was involved in Sugar Relationships because he’s never done it before. I basically gave him another out..another chance to change his mind about pursuing this with me if he had any doubts about building something with me. He re-assured me that he has a GOOD idea what this whole relationship is about and what is expected. He made the choice to continue down this road even though I was giving him many outs..he still pursued it. And in our texts and emails..it was HIM that pursued me the most..I was very nonchalant about the whole thing. I was in no hurry to meet him, actually. It was only AFTER I met him that I was floored with incredible chemistry and attraction. Up until I had met him, I was teetering about the idea of going to Vegas with him at all.
By the time we actually met in person, we had already discussed WHAT KIND of relationship it would be..That it would mean that we were “together”…and he was A-OK with that.
@SarahSweetheart I never did anything sexual with him. The farthest we did together was making out/kissing..and maybe feeling each other up a little through our clothes (after he walked me to my car).
I WILL NOT have sex with a pot SD before I get my allowance..PERIOD. That’s one of the things that I’ve learned from all of you lovely Sugar Friends here on this blog ;D
It IS getting easier with each passing day that I don’t hear from him – and I thank GOD for that!
I don’t know the exact reason WHY he has appeared to stop being interactive with me..and I might not ever know. (unless somehow it works out between us and we can both laugh about this rough patch sometime in the future)
I actually thought of what I would do..and that was to text him on Wed. (if I hadn’t heard from him by then) and say something like “so I take it you aren’t interested?” or SOMETHING along those lines. But because of the suggestion to basically leave the ball in his court..and let HIM be the one to make the next move, I now know I will NOT contact him anymore. It might actually start to make him wonder about me and maybe miss me…who knows
Haha..one thing about him, well..more like about his SN on AM…that kept plaguing my mind..
His profile has the words “Plays2Win” in it….and I keep thinking that maybe that’s the way he approaches situations in his life? That maybe he literally DOES play to win..even in dating. Not sure how that would translate to the situation we were contemplating together..but I keep feeling that maybe wants to always have the upper hand…and that maybe that profile phrase is a tell-tale of a bit of an inflated ego?..that he likes to maybe know he has the female at his command?…Hmm..Don’t know..maybe i’m reading more into that profile phrase than I should?
Another thing is that even if he DOES get back to me..and wants to take me to Vegas..I want him to give me my allowance before I go with him. I want an arrangement beforehand..because going on the Vegas trip would not actually be validation of an ongoing arrangement..And I won’t settle for less.
But either way, I’m going to not initiate ANYTHING with him anymore..If he wants me..he knows where I am…If he doesn’t..then that would TRULY be his loss..cause I would have made him VERY happy ;P
@Midwest SB
Yes..I plan on continuing with my everyday life. It has become easier as the days have passed. VERY grateful for that!
As far as being too eager..It was HIM that was the eager beaver..
Even when we were at the bar..and couldn’t help but touch me…I kept cool. And that was another fear I had…that maybe he took me as a player..because I never really pawed at him as much as he was pawing at me.
All that I felt for him..I kept 90% of that inside…I showed him enough to let him know I was into him…as he was into me..But all that I felt..all that chemistry..it came out in my smile..and in my kiss and in our embrace..But I didn’t let him know how deeply I felt for him. It was never verbalized. To an on-looker it would have most definitely appeared that it was HE that was the one most eager.
@ Babydoll
” what i saw was genuine graitude for that gesture ”
Yes baby , you get it ! Even if he accepted or not it is the expression of generosity and love you made that is so meaningful. It is the little gesture that takes the Sugar relationship one step farther -and might prolong the connection you two feel .
@Grasshopper
TGIF’s –really ? Sweetheart , a real SD would meet you at Sardi’s or your geographic equivalent lol . That should have told you something right there . CHEAPO !
AM guys are on there to get a free NSA girlfriend . I am surprised how many single girls are on there –I don’t know about guys , but I would imagine most of them are married . I think he enjoyed the free makeout session with a beautiful young lady but the mention of money probably scared him off . So ,I agree that it wasn’t anything you did . He took the freebie ,talked the talk and ran . Do not ever initiate contact with him again . If he contacts you then deal with it then
@Va Gentleman
Thank you for your feedback!
Well..I WILL cut him some slack for the TGIF’s..cause he IS a SD newbie..and I know he most definitely could have afforded something else..and that he would have gone wherever I suggested..I KNOW this. It was more of an impromptu meeting..it worked out that both of us had free time at that moment. But it really wasn’t a big deal to me..because this was just about finally meeting him face to face..and not necessarily about the ambiance of the establishment. It wasn’t about my SD taking me out..because he wasn’t actually my SD, yet. But believe me..I will expect my SD to break out the with the big guns when he’s with me..that’s, of course, when I FINALLY attain my perfect SD
Again, I hope being an older girl won’t count against me with the Sugar Daddies.
Grasshopper .
You over thinking it way too much, just 1 first meeting, you even did not sleep with him and already “in love” and thinking too much about him and going nuts.
What if u will sleep with him (go LasVegas) and after that he will never contact you again?
U will go crazy over thinking over analyzing what u did wrong in bed, what u said, text,…
Why r u torturing yourself ?
this dating supposed to be NSA! fun, be happier .
Plus sugar.
@VA
Why? TGIF is ok for the first meet up.
Plus they r both married so the important thing to go somewhere their spouses, friends would not spot them .
I would not be so judgmental about TGIF.
(although I went in TGIF twice – my brother was visiting and wanted an American experience , and in Nashville (everything else was closed) both time had terrible experience – bad service, bad food. )
I thought they were a little hard on TGIF too.
If every night out HAD to be fancy, that would be…annoying.
hi baby doll,just noticed your in London too,it would be nice to get to know you,would you like to swap emails?
OK, I have a question for anyone who has the icallu feature. If someone calls you from it, does it show up as a private number? I’m just wondering because I’ve been getting alot of calls from private numbers after signing up for icallu. I don’t pick up calls from private numbers, so I’m not sure if this is the reason.
Well I got viewed by a very interesting SB so I asked her if I could post about her situation here and she said go ahead. It isn’t all that big of a deal but it took me by suprise. She is “looking for an SD that is respectful etc etc etc oh and by the way I’m pregnant.” I wondered who would go there? And as Dorky intimated, It is kind of one of those things that you really ought to include up front! Anyway I hope she comes on the blog to talk about it.
Kindred Spirit ~ Thanks for asking! -and- you are kind to say such nice things. The hardest thing about being a romantic, especially when you are also goal oriented and persistant, is being able to determine when the effort is futile. It’s hard to give up when you feel that your soul is aligned with another. But mostly the only reward you reap is angst. Anyway, I haven’t really begun the search in ernest. My ex hasn’t removed herself from the equation. In any case I’m quite enamored by one potential SB here and in the very least think she would be a wonderful transition even if nothing more develops.
omg even if i am supposed to be sleeping i am still up!!! aaarrggghh and its already 1.18 am London time!!!!
@grasshopper~
well some of the ladies here has commented as how you have fallen quickly to this man who you met as pot Sd,sccrolled through your post and maybe it will help if you let your emotions calm a bit and keep busy with other things for the meantime. I know it is difficult to think straight specially if you feel very attracted to a gentleman,never mind a man who in your mind would be providing financial help in case it goes through and attractive as well on top
i just think that maybe what you felt ater your meet is similar to infatuation.
but ofcourse, if hewont reply the next day to you,or the next hour infact,it doesnt mean a person you met only once is not into you,maybe its because he is a married man and he maybe attracted to you but has different ideas in his head on how he see things to go? When i strted wiht my Sd we didnt even text everyday!!! never mind expect him to text me in an hour or so,but thats a different story,my point is,dont put off what hasnt started to happen yet
leave it for now and if he is interested,he willbe in touch,but with no specific time or day and if he doesnt well,thats his koss and i am sure you will find another one soon enough x
and oh,hmm i am not a snob Londoner but … maybe if h does stay intouch and ask to meet you agin,TGIF? nothig wrong with it,except even me as a newbie,i would have thought a Pot Sd would actually try to impress a pot Sb. Well i dont know what good places to suggest where you are but if yu were in London i would suggest that next time maybe help him choose and i would recommend The Square in Mayfair xxx
goodluck
fellow romantics
@stormcat~ like i said before,maybe you will find her,but where?only time will tell xxx
but dont lose hope it will come …
@VaGent~ yes,thats exactly how it is
to all read the posts of the girls re pre med~
sorry girls there is no contest here on who is right,bright or better,you have just made the blog boring and childish, like schoolgirls fighting for the swing on the playground. this is supposed to be a friendly blog place not for girls wanting to pull each others hair out.
goodnight everyone xxx
I’ve come across a few profiles for women that were pregnant.
Given all the other fetishes we’ve talked about here, I’m sure there will be people who
have always wanted to be with a pregnant woman.
@Sarah – Thanks for that. Really appreciated it & understand where you’re coming from. I — yeah. It can be great for people, or it can be incredibly self-destructive.
@PhoneGuy – Pregnant women are glow-ey and vulnerable. I’d think more along the ‘white knight’ line…seriously, I’m a 20-something chick and I would like to help out a single, pregnant woman. Er…who wouldn’t?
@grasshopper
Remember he is a married man, and that will limit his availability and emotional involvement. Whether you agree with this or not, based on what you described you appeared a bit too eager and too clingy, which may have caused him to back off. Did you ask him why he wants to be a SD this time around instead of having the type of affairs he had before? Saying he doesn’t want to bed hop isn’t much of a reason.
@SarahSH
A close friend of mine from high-school started escorting in her mid 20′s…
Thanks for sharing the story about your friend. Perhaps she already had a troubled life to start with and her escorting exacerbated the downward spiral. So it’s not clear to me whether her problems were caused entirely by escorting.
—————–
Best pick up line I’ve ever heard – “baby, are you going to f*ck me??”
@Grasshopper – “His profile has the words “Plays2Win” in it … and I keep thinking that maybe that’s the way he approaches situations in his life?”
Ah, he’s a sportsman (…in a “bush league” – AM, as compared to a “major league” – SA)… All the more reason for you to sit back and watch as he “steps up to the plate.” He may “strike out,” he may “hit a home run.”
Make sure to “cover your bases” up front (even if you two only get to “first base”
) … just so you won’t be wringing your hands while he takes his sweet time to “touch base” with you.
You may be “throwing him a curveball” now that you are going about your daily life, and all, if he’s “a good sport,” he wont mind. Who knows, it may result in “a whole new ball game.”
OR…You may find yourself interested in spectating an entirely different sport, and/or sportsman… \such as Golf. Keep your eyes open for the “best putter,” and become one yourself. Good putters have a concept to their stroke, and stick to it
Ok, I’ll stop myself now before I go on a tangent about “putting” and “stroking”…time for a bubble bath!
@SDGuru – The downward spiral happened because her approach to dealing with problems in her life was generally unhealthy. My belief that escorting was cause of the downward spiral doesn’t make much sense, in hindsight. This line of thinking is akin to blaming alcoholism on the fact that alcohol exists – when in fact alcoholism is the result of abuse.
However, I still believe that I can share and give whatever I want to – but if I ever sell/loan/lease/rent any part of myself, that that part of me will be gone forever. So I just don’t do it…That’s just ME. So I’ll stop being a judgmental brat about what other people decide to do. It’s none of my business, anyway
Thanks @SDG!
…”sorry girls there is no contest here on who is right,bright or better,you have just made the blog boring and childish, like schoolgirls fighting for the swing on the playground. this is supposed to be a friendly blog place not for girls wanting to pull each others hair out.”….
…oops! I forgot to add Boring, Childish, Unfriendly, Likes to Fight and Pull hair, and a general Deep Seeded Need to Prove Myself onto the list of my great attributes including Catty Judgmental Brat…(running to the list to jot them down)…Time to update my profile with this groundbreaking information! Hmmmm…I wonder how many responses I will get. LOL hahahahahahhaha
BTW … I neglected see the fact that JennSA was the person who authored this article until she contacted me offline. As much of a Boring, Childish, Unfriendly, Likes to Fight and Pull hair, Insecure, Catty Judgmental Brat (and generally Very Naughty Girl) that I apparently act like sometimes – If I had taken the time to notice who authored the article I would not have said another word once she explained it! …. I like to play nice in the sandbox, not throw sand in peoples faces. OBVIOUSLY I’m not that bright if I can’t even READ. Geez, Sarah!
“Plays well with others” appeared on my report card in Kindergarten…Promise!
…but I still need a SPANKING!!!!
I would say “The Allure of the Co-Ed” < "The Allure of the Pregnant Woman."
SD Guru – random question, are you ever going to write the continuation of The Valentine’s Fantasy on your blog from “his” perspective?? I’m a big fan of your blog and for some reason that particular post stuck with me and I’m dying to read about “his” version. Since V-Day is right around the corner, I was hoping to get some thoughtful gift ideas for my sweetie…and yes, I’ve done the sexy, red lingerie already so I want to try something new
Hope everyone is enjoying the weekend!!
“The allure of the coed?” Oh pish.
It’s the fastest growing segment here because you get a free membership. Plus there are no easy ways to distinguish other types of SBs so who’s to say “SBs missing limbs” are not joining the site at a faster rate than coeds? If there was one SB missing a limb on the site and another one joined next month, ZOMG that’s a 100% growth rate!!! Alert the media!
What’s so alluring about a bunch of entitled youngsters who think they’re so smart and educated, and think that at 19 or 20 they are adults and know everything they need to know about life anyway? There’s nothing alluring about coeds. Zip. Zilch. Nada.
Personally I find nothing more alluring than a gold-digging, party-animal slut. Preferably one with a drinking problem. And a drug problem. And plenty of expertise giving lap dances. And a teen pregnancy or divorce or two in her past.
But I can’t seem to find any of those types here in Los Angeles. All we have here is pre-meds.
@SDinLA — Geez…seriously?? Gotta love people who comment on the blog just to attack. How mighty people can become with a little online anonymity.
I wish I’d found this site earlier maybe I would have better luck. I’m guessing there are so many SBs in my college – located in the middle of nowhere – that I get no love
Um…Sarah? I have to admit that “Shares well with others” didn’t appear on my Kindergarten report card. And I already have “Caddy Judgmental Brat: Boring, Childish, Unfriendly, Likes to Fight and Pull hair, and a general Deep Seeded Need to Prove Myself” In MY profile…so please don’t steal it.
Mmmm…weeeellll…I guess you can use “Catty Judgmental Brat” if you like…At least the spelling is different.
xoxo M
@SDinLA – “Personally I find nothing more alluring than a gold-digging, party-animal slut. Preferably one with a drinking problem. And a drug problem. And plenty of expertise giving lap dances. And a teen pregnancy or divorce or two in her past.”
Gosh – I thought LA would be full of those types. Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton & Ashton Kutcher in a Jacuzzi with 8 party girls come to mind when I think LA. And I would have guessed there’d be lots of actress/model-hopefuls half-way into burn-out for you to shop from.
You know, just also want to share that your message warmed my heart completely. I find it really sweet that you want to reach out and mentor women who are going down destructive paths and really NEED your help and support.
So god bless!
@SDinLA
Is that really you?? It’s been about 7 months since your last post. I see that your sense of humor is alive and well!! For those of you who don’t know him, he specializes in co-ed SB’s!
@SouthernCharmSB
are you ever going to write the continuation of The Valentine’s Fantasy on your blog from “his” perspective??
Thanks for the reminder, it’s that time of the year already and it brought back fond memories!! I’ll get to it this week… By the way, have you met SDinLA? You two might be neighbors!
“For those of you who don’t know him, he specializes in co-ed SB’s! ”
Welp…now I feel dumb! Evidently my sarcasm detector is malfunctioning tonight. My apologies!!
Dang it Guru, you ruined my fishing expedition already. Yes, it is I. You know me, mention “coed” and “SB” and I’m bound to hear it and come running no matter where I might be.
As General Douglas MacArthur said upon wading ashore through the surf at the Battle of Leyte, “Goddamn it, my pant legs are all wet and there’s sand in my shoes!”
Oh wait, wrong quote… I meant, “People of the SA blog, I have returned! By the grace of the Almighty Blog Gods, my posts appear again on your blog.”
Just stopped by to watch the cat fight. Does the munching popcorn emoticon work here Guru?
I had to nuke the email account you had due to spam. I sent you a note from my new email but never heard back from you. I thought your new hobby had taken you away from the sugar world, but here you are, dispensing your pearls of wisdom for the sugar noobs.
Don’t see too many familiar names, although I see Stormy is still looking for love in all the wrong places. Belated wishes for a healthy and prosperous new year to all who have the misfortune of knowing me.
@ContentSB Sorry, I know sarcasm is the lowest form of humour. I just wanted to get the SBs to stop fighting with each other and say nasty things to me instead.
“What’s so alluring about a bunch of entitled youngsters who think they’re so smart and educated, and think that at 19 or 20 they are adults and know everything they need to know about life anyway? There’s nothing alluring about coeds. Zip. Zilch. Nada.”
I hear you, Man. That sounds about as alluring as an entitled man in his 50’s who never emotionally matured past age 19. Oh wait…never mind…LOL
“Personally I find nothing more alluring than a gold-digging, party-animal slut. Preferably one with a drinking problem. And a drug problem. And plenty of expertise giving lap dances. And a teen pregnancy or divorce or two in her past.”
Are you looking for your female counterpart? Pick me! Pick me! I have the slut part down tight
“But I can’t seem to find any of those types here in Los Angeles. All we have here is pre-meds.”
Y
ep. A lot of Pre-Meds in LA. SO…are you ready for your proctology exam?
@meg – ok, ok…you can have my new profile description (sniff sniff) – I already thought of a new one:
“Bratty Caddy seeks Golfer with Exceptional Putting/Stroking skills”
@SarahSweetheart Does the proctology exam come before or after the spanking you mentioned previously? I’m hoping after, because I might not be in any condition to administer a good spanking post-proctology exam. Do I get to examine your bits and pieces too? I hope so, who doesn’t love playing doctor or naughty nurse?!
If you bring the strap-on, I’ll bring the lube (water based for latex on skin)
And I’m not in my 50s yet, thank you very much.
@meg “Lindsay Lohan, Paris HIlton and Ashton Kutcher in a jacuzzi” sounds like the start of a potentially very graphic joke.
Just doing some desultory blog catching up here on a lazy Saturday night. Re: giving SBs the ability to communicate with each other, I would think it’s as simple as “not killing the goose that lays the golden eggs” for Brandon. SDs will pay for premium access to be able to communicate with potential SBs. If SBs can join for free and communicate with each other, what’s stopping a SD from signing up as a SB to avoid paying for membership? “Good! That will just weed out all the fake SDs who won’t pay to join!” you say? Well, that may or may not be an effective screening tool for SD legitimacy, but the site is a for-profit venture, and even if a small % of time-wasters, picture collectors and such stopped paying and created fake SB accounts to talk to SBs, that would be a hit in the site’s revenue. It might be more complex than that, but follow the money and you’ll usually find the truth.
Follow the money? Really? That’s all I have to do? Wow, that’s great!
Just so you all know I blame the blog for not being able to get things done lately. The posts are all so addicting.
@Sarah
You prolly already said but where are you from? You sound like you are too much fun. =}
“Follow the money? Really? That’s all I have to do? Wow, that’s great!”
Well actually, since you are a caddy (a slutty bratty caddy or just a bratty caddy?) it’s probably more important to follow the flight of the ball than the money.
@SKitty If you ask Guru nicely, he’ll point you to the link for the 12-step program for blog addiction he has on his site.
@SDinLA
I have noticed that Guru seems to know how to solve most any problem. Not sure if it’s from having had all the problems, watching others or a combination. Either way much cheaper to ask him than therapy that’s for sure.
For now I am not sure I want to fix my blog addiction. So much to learn.
@SKitty Nobody knows how the Guru became the Guru. It has always been that way. I met him once. I had to trek for days from Kathmandu, deep into the Himalayas. The sherpas that guided me said that SD Guru was more famous than the legendary Yeti and more respected than the Dalai Lama himself in all of Nepal.
His cave, once I reached it after a breathtaking climb high up a sheer cliff, was surprisingly plush, with all the mod cons. It was worth the arduous trek to meet such an august figure. He’s younger than you would think a Guru would be though. And no robe or beard. Go figure.
@SKitty – “cheaper than therapy” LOL!
@SDinLA – In re. to lube/proctology exams/spankings…I only do what my SD tells me to do. But he keeps withholding spankings and making me delay gratification
(ok, so it was my idea but I planted it in his head…hehe) I keep acting like a Slutty Bratty Caddy so I will DESERVE a spanking and he STILL wont give me one. Ugh! I had better learn how to Putt and Stroke a lot better…and soon!
Addictions? Huh? (shrug, head to the side) I thought all that I have bother myself with was simply “Follow the Money?” Aha! (light bulb in my head) I’m going to take 12-steps toward the Money! … Then I am going to get so addicted to money that I have to take 24-steps backwards and take a good look at my life! But I won’t need [to pay for] a therapist because all the free therapy is here! Gosh, I’m getting such a good deal! Oh wait, there’s that money addiction again…12 MORE steps? Oh geez, here we go..la-de-da
Hey, thanks for reminding me to “follow the money!” … gotta line up some stuff on my etrade acct…place a couple super bowl bets and “gift” them…I can hear a voice in my head right now, “Sarah…listen to the sound of my voice…Follow The Money…then go to sleep…or I’m NEVER going to give you a Spanking.”
The Goose That Laid the Golden Eggs: Right. Uh, huh. Don’t kill the asset. Good idea.
xoxo
SDinLA! Welcome back! Long time no see my dear! I can’t believe I missed you….AGAIN!!
Hi Sugar World!
I used to be active on here about 2 to 3 years ago and I’ve just began venturing back into the scene. I’ve recently moved to the NYC area and I’m wondering if any other SBs here may want to chat about the scene here! Drop me a message here xo
Howdy all..
Well, school is finally done! Just waiting on scores for my professional certification. Just in time for the CoEd blog. I purposefully didn’t read the posts.. too many flash backs. I’m so not ready to read anything dealing with college course work. More than a decade in school just about does it for me.. for a while.
It’s great to see so many people joining the blog and some great veterans with fantastic advice.
I got drug into the Grasshopper discussion. I totally understand where she’s coming from. I had something very similiar when I was a greenhorn. I wonder how it’s going to turn out but I agree with many of the responses that backing off might be a good thing.
VA mentioned the cheapo deal. I kinda agree. I would prefer to just have coffee than to have a guy take me to a pedestrian place for drinks, unless I suggested it because of geography. I recently met my newest sugar at a kitchy place near my home. Had he suggested it I would have been a little put off. But since he drove for over an hour to accommodate me, I can’t complain.
I was a little surprised about the preggo deal, but.. I’ve seen far more “kinky” things going on. In fact, there was a sugardaddy here in Houston that would post that he wanted a woman who nursed. His allowance was.. very good. That was about all he was wanting. In fact, I think he’s still out there. I just don’t know about having sex with different guys when you’re pregnant. That can cause so many problems for the baby, risk of infection. *huge frown* I would hope that these girls are being VERY careful in who they meet.
I wonder which guides some of the new sugars are reading? I read the Seeking Arrangement book and the Sugardaddy 101 book most recently. Truly the latter has boosted my sugar three fold. I wish I had read it a year ago. Awesome book!
I think I’m going to scroll up and see what some of my buddies are up to. Anna Molly, MidWest…
Oh.. also, since it’s Black History Month I wrote another article for Geisha Diaries.. feel free to give it a read. It’s about the Placage in the South
http://www.geishadiaries.com/home/placees-black-sugar-babies-of-the-1700s.html
Sugar Kisses Y’all!!
TS
@SDinLA – “Dang it Guru, you ruined my fishing expedition already. Yes, it is I. You know me, mention “coed” and “SB” and I’m bound to hear it and come running no matter where I might be.”
Seems like those coeds have been keeping you mighty busy to stay away from the blog for so long. What can I say…we’re a pretty sought after group for many, many reasons (as I’m sure you know)
Guru tells me we are neighbors and as usual, he’s right. Great to meet you! Always brings a smile to my face to know that there is plenty of sugar in this city. Never know who you might bump into or where. I met one of my first SDs at an internship interview….LOL! Best of luck fishing, keep us posted!
@SD Guru – Looking forward to the new post on your blog….it’s about time, get on it!
As a college sb myself, it’s really rough trying to make it by when classes and extra curriculars are so demanding that you don’t have time to work for a paycheck. I think it’s fantastic to offer the free premium upgrade by giving our .edu addresses, but I am honestly worried about my school filtering through emails and receiving some sort of punishment if they see things from SA in my inbox.
So SDinLA is the west coast coed chaser, while I am representing the south. I have a meet planned this week actually. Hoping its a good one.
To Cora.
I am in NYC:)
Let’s exchange e mails.
I remember when I attended college, my biology book was seventy-five dollars and all of the other books were over thirty. For a nineteen year old who came from humble beginnings, it broke the bank. The expense of the books alone was one reason I dropped out. Good luck co-eds in finding a man who can help you finance your education.
I wonder if Europeans seem smarter than Americans, because their education is covered by the government; anyone can go to college. I’m American by the way.
@ NYGirl
” I would not be so judgmental about TGIF. ”
I know ya’ll I’m just kidding ( a little ) The marketing rep for TGIF called and gave me grief . Sardi’s for crying out loud ! NYG ,we will be going to a fancy place on our 1st date –don’t you worry !
@ Stormcat
” by the way I’m pregnant.” I wondered who would go there?
That would actually be very sensuous and to boot you would have free breast milk . I think it would be very cool as long as it wasn’t my baby lol !
@ Sarah Sweetheart
Good show Sarah ! I loved your wordplay and bon mots ! You hit a home run with that post –even a hole in one (That’s what she said )
@ ALL college coeds
Is there an place for a SD to advertise for a coed SB arrangement in a college town that is not well represented on SA ? Some of you have mentioned that there aren’t many SDs in your zip code . Part of the problem for willng and able SDs is to gain access to the SBs without coming across as a creepster .
@Sarah, in baseball terms, using the home run to describe sex is pretty good. But I still prefer the hockey equivalent… “In the crease”
@Dorky Guy – hahahahahahahaha
Re: Sports terms
Shouldn’t we all be using football terms today?? Even if it a sad day in the NFL. Part of me really doesn’t even want to watch, especially since the only team that matters (Packers…obviously) isn’t playing lol
Mr. Rodgers can be my SD any day!! A girl can dream, right??
Yay Superbowl (you know me, typical american co-ed alum sorority cheerleader) Tom Brady can be my SD! Madonna can be my SM!
Lol, so would Mr. Rodgers be welcome in your endzone?
Sex with him probably would resemble football, in that you should be wearing a helmet, and you might have to tune out the cheerleaders.
@Emily – (re some prior posts) NO you are not too old! Are you kidding?! 35 isn’t old at all! Girl, I worked my booty off in college w/ full time enrollment, double major, 30+hr a week job/internship—it was SO hard. Took six years! Finally in year 3 I got a mentor, who eventually became a de-facto sugar daddy. Wow, so that makes 8 intermittent YEARS now in the sugar bowl…holy smokes!
Anyway, I’ve heard of Sugar Babies being in their 50′s! No joke!
Anyway, you’re not old, AND you can still find an SD to help you finish your degree. It just takes time
@Dorky — Mr. Rodgers is welcome to make a drive into my endzone whenever he likes!!
Sex with him would probably be SO AMAZING that it would deserve an audience of cheerleaders. And, sex so rough I need a helmet?? Totally intrigued….!
@TexasSugah – Great article! The woman in those pictures is HOT! Confession – My Dad’s mistress looked a lot like her. He met her in is 20′s on a family trip to Louisiana. (Yes, my mother granted him permission, no big deal. They loved each-other and she had met the mistress on several occasions, even on a trip to New Orleans!) He always said, “I love how she looks with blush on her cheeks. She is so beautiful” I never got to meet her
… BUT just two days ago I said, “Dad, If I did what your mistress did does that mean that I am a slut?” He said, “No, of course not. But what do you call a girl who goes and sleeps with some guy who doesn’t have feelings for her and doesn’t provide for her?” I said, “Uh…not very smart?” We both laughed. True story.
xoxo
@NYGirl
drop me a line at astorplace525 at gmail
@Guru/ContentSB that should really read “specializeD in coed SBs.” I’ve been retired almost as long as the bloke in South Africa’s been celibate.
@DorkyGuy re: “Men are like bank accounts.” That saying is out of date, bank accounts don’t generate interest these days!
I prefer to go with Tony Montana’s advice to Manny, “In this country, you gotta make the money first… then when you get the money, you get the power… then when you get the power, then you get the women.”
re: “in the crease”, but if you are “in the crease” on a rink it does not necessarily mean you have scored! There’s a “slot” in hockey too, and you can score from there or the crease…
@AnnaMolly Right back at ya, gorgeous. Just stopped in to say Hi this weekend, had a bunch of free time, everyone’s obsessed with some gridiron game or something.
@SouthernCharmSB Pleased to make your acquaintance. Actually, as I said above, I have been retired from being a SD for almost 3 years now, and hope never to have to return to this. I used to come here for the camaraderie and to flirt with Anna Molly and Midwest.
re: meeting one of your SDs at an internship interview, I actually never met any of my SBs online, they were all young ladies I met IRL.
@SouthernGent2 as above, I retired long ago from this game, so I leave the coed SBs in your capable hands, regardless of locale. And what’s this about “coed chaser?” I always made them chase me, it was a lot less work that way.
re: the sorority “pitch”, one of my SBs who was in a sorority actually tried to find me her replacement amongst her sorority sisters. Didn’t find a match though. I think the key is to find a certain type of person, whether or not she was in a sorority, who might be receptive to the idea. That particular SB was very ambitious, super-outgoing and business-minded, and she looked at “recruiting” her replacement almost as part of her “job.” Of course, I helped her with a move/expenses and with grad school tuition after our arrangement ended, so we were and are on good terms long after the arrangement ended. She had to be VERY discreet though, there’s no way she would have brought it up in front of all of her sisters, she targeted specific girls that she thought would be open to the idea. Of course, everyone thought she was just dating an older guy vs. her being open about being a SB, but they thought I was ten years older than her and not twenty so I guess that was believable. If you do line up a “presentation” at a sorority, I would love to see your pitch deck beforehand, that would be classic, from “Slide 3: Reasons why a sorority girl should have a Sugar Daddy” to “Slide 12: Strategies for how to introduce your SD as your uncle when you unexpectedly run into someone you know.”
Maybe I am a little conceited… I just received an email from SA saying I had been “favorited by Kendra”. When I clicked the link, I full expected to see Kendra Wilkinson.
With Penn State being so close to the top of the list, I would have expected more SD near me. I’m still keeping my fingers crossed though
Cora
I did e mail you:)
@sweetheart – wow, interesting story. My newest Sugar is in an open marriage. Well, actually she’s menopausal and is just kinda done. She’s also European so it’s a totally different vibe.
I have gotten virtually every book for my two grad programs from Amazon. I was able to get the Prime shipping at a discount as a student and the books were FAR cheaper. The bookstores really get you.
Might be a good thing for a college sugarbaby to put on her wish list. Generally the books are listed for the course when you register. The worst was my final when using technology books, there was a new edition every semester it seemed. =-(
@ Dorky guy .. Love the quote. A good guy friend of mine always says, “A man without finance is a nuisance”.
Hi,
I just registered as a college sugar baby and deleted my other account but I deleted the wrong one. Can you put it back please?? x
So I’m a little behind on the conversation, being relatively new and all, but I have to put my thoughts in. I’m opinionated, at least in print
I have a college degree through the traditional path (high school, then 4 years of college), which means I WAS the college co-ed (although the sugar lifestyle wasn’t in my life at the time). Looking back on that time, now in my early (almost mid) 30s, I like the person I am now better than the person I was then. I’m more confident, and actually know what I want out of life; I know how to keep a relationship in the right perspective, and not get swept away when inappropriate). There are many benefits to having an older SB, and I’m looking forward to seeing what is out there.
@ Stormcat and Dorky Guy – I’ve been reading through the blog and you’re both absolutely adorable. I hope you find all that you are looking for. (But, just for the record, waking up sweaty AND alone is not fun at all Dorky!)
@ jenniebug, SarahSweetheart and meg: you’re absolutely fabulous!
And a good spanking is ALWAYS needed
@Tina~ That reminds me of Christmas. I got a sweater for Christmas. I would have preferred a moaner or a screamer.
Moaners are so much nicer – all the reaction of a screamer, none of the hearing loss…..and much less sticky than a sweater
The hearing loss is actually a benefit… a good 10 minutes of not being able to hear after sex, right when she wants to have “the talk”? I agree, moaners are nice too. But don’t discount the ones who remain totally silent, because they were raised never to talk with their mouth full.
If it’s done right, she shouldn’t have the energy for “the talk” right after
And I’ve very rarely had the opportunity to try to talk with my mouth actually full – is that an invitation? 
Best comment I’ve heard in a while? Cee Lo Green on “The Voice”: “Baby, everybody’s the same color with the lights off”……..
Maybe I am a little conceited… I just received an email from SA saying I had been “favorited by Kendra”. When I clicked the link, I full expected to see Kendra Wilkinson.
Dorky, you dork.
Dorky, Tina ~ LMAO You’re on a roll . . . Keep it up, I could use a lot more laughter at the moment!
SDinLA ~ “I have been retired from being a SD for almost 3 years now, and hope never to have to return to this.” I assume that means you ave either found love or given up entirely. So if you did find love might I inquire about exactly where you were looking?
PhoneGuy ~ I donno . . . seemed kinda reasonable to me!
Awww, poor Stormy! I’m full of laughs if you need’em
It looks like Dorky left me hanging 
Hanging? Wasn’t in one of those chinese contraptions that he fantasizes about, I hope.
Hey, you’re pretty good with the smileys 
maybe you can stick around and teach us SD bloggers a few new ones so we can compete with SD Guru.
I think I’m just good with my fingers >:) And I don’t know about his fantasies since I’m new and he disappeared on me already…..guess I scared him off…..wimp :S
Dang, none of those worked like I wanted them to, so sad :’(
Tina ~ google wordpress smiley. You’ll find the ones that work here. But SDG seems to have a bunch more that he uses that the rest of us don’t know about. I have a feeling we would have to become proficient in using html tags to access them. (Too much work just to make a face)
Tina “guess I scared him off…..wimp”
What do you expect from a dork?
I wasn’t going to go that far Stormcat, but if you insist……..I was experimenting if wordpress also used common HTML smiley tags…..I just like to experiment 3:)
dammit
And the dorks I’VE known usually tough it out. Take that as you would like
Ok Stormy, what kind of faces does SD Guru use that no one else has? I’m curious now……..
OK look back up on this topic or the last and you will find he used a “beating a dead horse” smiley. Where the eff did he get that from?
Anyway; experimenting is admirable 8)
I’m SO going to have to search for that posting to see that…..I’m ALWAYS up for a good challenge……make life a little more fun when you don’t have it all figured out!
That was the best emoticon ever!
Oh, I WILL find his source…….
@TexaSugah – So….uh…when women hit menopause they don’t want intimacy anymore? Wow…I really had no idea…That sounds awful! To just not want it anymore?! Oh my! I had better enjoy this pre-menopausal stuff A LOT MORE.
Tina ~ we stand corrected and should cease using the word smiley. The appropriate word is emoticon. But then Sara is just being contrary because she is trying to get someone to spank her!
Where did that h go? I meant Sarah as in Sweetheart!
Tina ~ You used to be able to right click on any EMOTOCON and the keystroke code would pop up. But that doesn’t work anymore.I wonder why?
Well I really have no idea how to spell it but it was some funny sh!t !!!!!
Is there a “shhhhh” smiley? Or an “I’m not telling you sh – -” smiley. @SDGuru if you find it please tell me where it is. I really need a “I’m keeping my mouth shut so don’t even ask me” smiley. @Tina can find it, I bet she’s a good snoop
@Tina – “I’m ALWAYS up for a good challenge……make life a little more fun when you don’t have it all figured out!”
That’s why my life is fun? Well, theres a years worth of therapy in one sentence. I love this website!
Because these emoticons are not keystroke based, they’re gifs………….. I’m cross-eyed from looking for the dead horse one, but now I know what I’m looking for, and am relentless….
Hey, I’m apparently a new SB AND a budding therapist! AWWWW-RIIIIIIIIGHT!
[img]http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-taunt010.gif[/img]
AH HA!!!!
@ VA gent.
I thought we are already all set up for the Waldorf ?
@SKitty
Either way much cheaper to ask him than therapy that’s for sure.
I’ll be happy to send you a bill… and there is no cure for blog addiction!
@SDinLA
Does the munching popcorn emoticon work here Guru?
You mean this one??
His cave, once I reached it after a breathtaking climb high up a sheer cliff, was surprisingly plush, with all the mod cons.
I sold the cave during the bubble because some developer wanted to build condos on it. Then after the crash I put all that money in gold. The developer went out of business during the crash so maybe I should go buy my cave back… Follow the money, right?
@SarahSH
I really need a “I’m keeping my mouth shut so don’t even ask me” smiley.
You mean this one?
@SD Guru, I’m sure many people are wanting their own like this at the moment [img]http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-violent080.gif[/img]
And apparently SD Guru you’re in the cave naked and shaved, since the comment was made that you were found with neither beard nor robe….
@Tex: Me thinks Hgirl goes to UTD!
Nope… I go to a respected school – UTD is a joke. Secondly, wouldn’t move back to Texas (esp not near Dallas) for a billion dollars! I just can’t live in that Texas weather!
@Va Gentleman: But I also don’t think that I can adapt to the the real world again after experiencing this one . Do YOU think you will be able to ? Is the future going to always be about money and power ?
I’m not really prissy or demanding, but all of my boyfriends have treated me like a goddess (I did the same in return) even before I signed up for this. Maybe it’s unrealistic but I just don’t want to get involved with someone unless they clearly show a huge amount of effort/interest on their part.
Is there an place for a SD to advertise for a coed SB arrangement in a college town that is not well represented on SA ? Some of you have mentioned that there aren’t many SDs in your zip code . Part of the problem for willng and able SDs is to gain access to the SBs without coming across as a creepster .
Oddly enough there are tons of SD’s in my college town!
As far as the whole recommending it to other sorority sisters is: I would not recommend this to my friends. I tell them what I’m doing and tell them all the downsides because I just can’t see them handling it. They’re emotional, they get too trusting with the guys their with, they do want the strings attached (they always start off saying “oh no we’re just FWB” and end up in an unstable relationship), and I think they’d take this as a normal relationship and get heart broken. I literally don’t know any girls my age that could be okay with this!
Another thing is – they’re definitely not going to be okay with dating older guys. I told them my date on Friday was 38 and they literally were telling me that was gross and old men are nasty pervs
and no wonder they had to pay up. Yep – pretty sure it’s not something easy to advertise! While I do see the number going up on SA, I don’t think most girls my age are comfortable with guys much older than 30.
Number of college SBs going up that is!
@Grasshopper
Ah!! You’ve gotten too attached too fast
slow down. I would maybe back away from this until you feel okay with not being with him. We all know what that initial strong attraction is like when you’ve found someone so perfect, but you’ve got to step back because it’s kind of like torturing yourself wondering if it’s going somewhere or not. You’re going to be okay with or without him!
Yes I agree w/Hgirl – Successful dating on this site takes a certain mindset. Whether the person is born or raised or grows into this certain way – who knows? But it’s not for everyone. The majority of my girlfriends couldn’t handle it emotionally/mentally…even physically. Then again, the majority of my girlfriends can’t handle their current relationship, either. I donno…
In hindsight, all of my relationships (er, all of my really good relationships) have been de facto NSA. (Whatever that translates to.)
Resident psychotherapist Tina or Guru can figure that one out – I’m not a therapy expert!…or a Guru!
All, everyone keeps saying to watch ‘Geisha’ … but the author supposedly exploited a geisha for her story and misrepresented the truth/spirit of being a geisha.
So is it really that good to watch. I don’t want to pollute my mind
And young men aren’t nasty pervs? I think being a nasty perv is something most of humanity has in common, and we could use that as a basis for achieving world peace..
@Tina, sorry to leave you hanging! Had a fun night out. By the way, girls aren’t the only ones who shouldn’t talk with their mouth full. [img]http://www.easyfreesmileys.com/smileys/free-sexy-smileys-942.gif[/img]
OH MY GOSH!!! These emoticons (hands covering mouth)
Ok…I have a question…Speaking of world peace … Speaking for myself and my girlfriends: Why does it seem as though the older women (feminists) pick on the younger women (feminists) sometimes?
@StaciM, I think the definition of feminism has changed, right along with how women perceive their sexuality. Just last year, Hugh Heffner made the controversial statement: “Of course women are sex objects”, and had feminists agreeing with him. 30 years ago, they’d have been livid. Older feminists (whose views have not matured with time) seem much more rigid and paranoid, whereas younger feminists seem to accept that men and women are different, are more accepting of those differences.
Just my two cents though… I am neither a woman nor a feminist, so my opinion probably doesn’t count for much.
Q) How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A) That’s not funny
that was funny LOL
Im still new to the sugar bowl less than a couple months. Loving it so far though. Not many people from my college area on here. I had a quick question how do fellow sugar babies tell your friends. Good idea bad idea etc. I know not everyone could understand this lifestyle choice.
@nwSB – Uh….well…How?…by gossiping.
“(poke poke) … psssst….(whispering) … did you hear about that website? I think it’s called ‘Seeking Arrangement’ or something?…” … something like that
…all the while pretend that you don’t know anything about it. My SD plants ideas in my head like that all the time! I learned it from him
Thank you for answering! I like answers. Confusion gives me wrinkles.
@nwsugarbaby, on a serious note, it’s important for your safety that you find someone to talk to and share info with. Find a safety buddy who you tell where you are going, who you are meeting, and all of the info you have about him, especially for first meets. I know some SBs on the blog have paired up for that purpose. Besides, a little moral support couldn’t hurt
Um…Dorky…Why do they pick on you if they are only 10 years older?…not 30
A “men & women are different world” works out a whole lot better for a 20-something woman than a 45-50 year old one.
Personally think that’s pretty much what it boils down to.
@meg – Oh no …. it’s the menopause thing, again?…is it really true? (hands in face) say it aint so.
@Nwsugarbaby – Yeah, agree with ucSB –
1) Say – “oh my god, I saw this 20/20 article (or NYT Article…) or whatever on ‘sugar dating?’ have you heard about it?”
2) Evaluate reactions.
3a) If overtly positive, disclose now.
3b) If overtly negative (& you care about said person’s opinion of you) add something like “yeah, sort of creepy, huh. Would never do internet dating.”
3c) If not overtly negative or overtly positive, add something like – “god, I’ve always liked older guys, & wouldn’t mind some [insert expensive thing here]” [laugh]…
4) Gauge reaction.
5) If receptive/supportive/positive:
a) insinuate that you want to check it out.
b) disclose as in “ummm…can I tell you a secret? I just created a profile.”
Or – if they’re negative about it – simply phrase it as a positive thing. Like ‘curiosity’ or ‘voyerism’ or ‘playing around’ (as in, fun Saturday night activity. Create a rando profile and read rando emails from weird creepy dudes. (that’s actually a lot of what you get…anyways!)
And then if you meet someone worth meeting up with, it’s a serendipitous – well, I was doing it as a joke, but then this really hot 30-something Doctor sent me a nice email & invited me to [expensive restaurant x] and figured, why not.
It really depends on the type of people you hang out with. I would recommend starting out by only telling people you know won’t tell other people (& even explicitly telling them not to share further) – learned this the hard way…but yeah.
Hope that helps!
@meg…exactly! And after you tell them…then they will make fun of you and gossip…THEN they will do it themselves
and yes ALWAYS have a safe buddy … in any kind of dating, or anything else that you are doing
@StaciM, this won’t answer your question (we would have to find an older feminist to really find out), but I think older people in general just pick on younger people because the older people think they are wiser. Sometimes they are right, sometimes they are wrong.
@ StaciM – well, if you’re 20-something and hot…& on SA…
Who are the guys you’re meeting?
They’re 30-60 something men cheating on their 30-60-something spouses.
Or they’re using their wealth to date you over another 30-60-something woman.
Or they’re using their wealth to date you rather than have to
a) deal with 30-60-something women who are looking for husband/baby-daddies.
b) deal with 30-60-something women who are emotionally demanding.
c) deal with 30-60-something women who take 3-6 months to put out.
If I were 40-something, I’d be a bit threatened/irritated by the whole SA thing too…
Obviously more complicated than that…or maybe not…lol.
Sigh – when I’m 30-60, I’ll be very wealthy and have a 20-something sugar-baby [m].
Lol. That’s my plan.
Or I’ll join the Mackinnon camp. Mmm…I guess fate will tell.
@nwsugarbaby — I agree with Meg. I followed her outline pretty closely, except I said that another friend and I jokingly made profiles. I have distinct groups of friends, due to location, so I knew they would never interact and find holes in my story. Most weren’t too judgmental, and a few even met my former SD when he came to visit. It wasn’t really planned, but they knew which bar we were at, and they showed up…probably out of curiosity and to make sure I wasn’t totally crazy!
Safety is absolutely the most important thing though. Never meet a potential SD without telling a friend where you’ll be. If you don’t want to tell any of your IRL friends, ask one of us on the blog! We have to have each other’s backs in this sometimes crazy lifestyle
@ StaciM My guess for the 10-yrs-older-than-you thing? If they’re single, their biological clocks are ticking and you’re a symbol of men being taken out of their marriage-minded dating pool. If they’re married, they’re jealous they didn’t have more fun before they got hitched.
@nwsugarbaby — OR, get really drunk and let it slip :p That may or may not have happened with me when I was with a group of co-workers.
BTWs. WHERE are you all finding these awesome emoticons?
Tina – You win the prize for best emoticon. Please explain how?!?!? I want to make one too!!!
@ContentSB – “Most weren’t too judgmental, and a few even met my former SD when he came to visit. It wasn’t really planned, but they knew which bar we were at, and they showed up…probably out of curiosity and to make sure I wasn’t totally crazy!”
Oh I don’t even bother with partially crazy, I am (eh, can act) 100% crazy! The thing is: I can lie, and lie more, and deny, and then lie even further….once you think you have ‘the truth’ on me, you just realize it’s another lie. I will lie straight-faced, laughing, wide awake, half asleep and everywhere in between … Get me drunk? HA! I will lie even further…oh yeah, I can lie SO well that I can convince myself that it’s actually true…now THATS crazy! And it takes some serious training
But if you can master this self-deception – it is nearly impossible to ‘let it slip’ … because, in your mind it doesn’t even exist!
See, the thing is, lying can be good at times. By telling multiple contradictory confusing lies, you give the other person the option to choose what they want to believe. Options are GREAT! Also, telling a multitude of contradictory lies can confuse the other person to the point that they don’t know what to believe – but again, they have the option to choose. Unless, of course, I ‘lie by omission.’ in which case they have no options. (Thank you to my sweetest ex-bf who reads this blog! I love you for teaching me this particular method. And I love you even more for the ‘random check ups’ to see if I’m still alive! xxxooo)
The truth is told on a “need to know” basis ONLY. Very seldom does a situation exist where there is a “need to know.”
SomeONE(s) DOES have a ‘need to know’ of my whereabouts and have a method by which to contact me at all times for safety reasons.
oh this blog is great!
…and the best part yet: if you try to background check me – nothing will check out! No pattern, no footprint, no verifiability. There are some major government agencies can accomplish such a daunting task – but it is awfully lengthy and expensive.
Tip: Keep your digital footprint at zero or very close to it.
Facebook?!…THATS crazy!
@CovertSB — Is that you SarahSS?? lol
I was a lot like you in high school. I would lie…lie…lie…deny…deny…deny…which totally did result in the ability to convince myself the lies were the complete and utter truth. However, it hurt several people in my life…namely my parents. I’ve come to believe the truth always comes out, even if it’s YEARS down the road. I know it works for some people, as it did for me for several years, but ultimately I decided that continual deception didn’t create a fruitful life.
Re: Facebook/digital footprints. It doesn’t have to be this *huge* negative thing. People only know what you want them to know. I’m not an advocate for 100% transparency, but I don’t think there’s anything wrong with sharing a little about who you are in an online setting. In some industries it’s even impossible to avoid. As a PR/Marketing student we’re told constantly to make a professional online presence for ourselves, because if we don’t, employers won’t even give us a chance. Creating a positive “brand” for our personal name proves that we could do the same for a company. But, I obviously realize this doesn’t apply for most people. I think I have a “weird” view of digital footprints lol
Whoa ContentSB is an insomniac too?
My parents know EVERYTHING. Thats my blood. They have a need to know.
@Covert — Insomniac and a procrastinator…working on some hw due at 8 am….I’ve of course had a week to do it, but what’s the fun in getting things done early? :p Checking out this blog certainly isn’t helping my productivity either!
I SO wish I had a completely open relationship with my parents…but sadly they wouldn’t approve of most of my decisions…so some things still remain unsaid. I admire you for having that kind of relationship with them!
…lie in high school?…oh no, honey…these deception skills were developed WAY later in life during adulthood. Thank you corporate america and government. God Bless!
@Covert — My skills obviously weren’t as developed as yours then
maybe *that’s* what the problem was 
@ both CSB’s… kudos on a well developed insomnia! right there with ya.
@CovertSB regarding lying as a lifestyle… That sounds like a really f’ed up and unhappy way to live. Sometimes lying is the kindest thing you can do, true, but a lifestyle of lying comes with a price. Nothing is free.
Consider this. If nobody knows what to believe because of all of your contradictory lies, then nobody can trust you. When somebody I care about lies to me, it feels like a personal betrayal (not a tactic to confuse, as you present it). Where there is no trust, there is emotional distance.
Sometimes, the one thing you need most in the world is the trust of the people you love. Even more than that, sometimes you need to feel close to them. And how is that possible when they don’t trust you?
@Dorky — +1. Why do I always agree with what you say?? Such a wise man
Jedi mind tricks
~~waves his hand~~ “you want to sleep with DorkyGuy“
@Dorky — Hmm…I’m sure that would’ve worked if I hadn’t wanted that before you pulled the hand waving Jedi mind tricks
@ contentsb –
i dont know how you developed yours skills, or how developed they are, or what purpose they serve.
“Creating a positive ‘brand’ for our personal name proves that we could do the same for a company”
It’s good that they tell you to create a good brand for yourself as an individual. (But via Facebook?! Ok, that will take you about 30 minutes to do, if that)
However, I politely disagree with the fact that it would ‘prove’ any capability at any given company.
Now, I may be completely wrong …but I think that showing a potential employer a sample ‘Marketing Plan’ and going through an interviewing process would prove something to a greater extent.
Ok, so, you’re into PR/Marketing? What did you think of the superbowl half time commercial for Chrysler? Just curious…
lmao dorky
hahaha.. lie speech was a bunch of lies…damn im twisted.
‘on the real’…+1 with dorky…oh wait, now dorky has +2!
lie when at war…not in love
@Covert —
“It’s good that they tell you to create a good brand for yourself as an individual. (But via Facebook?! Ok, that will take you about 30 minutes to do, if that)”
Not just FB. Twitter, Tumblr, a personal website/blog, LinkedIn, YouTube, Pinterest, 4sq, G+, commenting on other industry related blogs etc. You can’t build a meaningful, positive, online presence in 30 minutes. Just doesn’t quite work that way.
“However, I politely disagree with the fact that it would ‘prove’ any capability at any given company.”
It’s a starting point. Of course the hiring process is more extensive than that and does require previous marketing plans and a successful interview. But if you can’t even manage your own brand, you can be sure no company is going to trust you with theirs.
Re: Chrysler Super Bowl ad
I’m a fan…but I was a fan of Eminem’s last year. I’m a sucker for pep talks..especially if they’re given by Clint Eastwood lol
The response on Twitter seemed overwhelmingly positive, but I haven’t read any of the advertising blogs/journals yet, so I can’t speak to its effectiveness, or lack of.
@Everyone
Things will pick up I know, just got to give it time 
Thanks for asking about me! You guys are so sweet, honestly. Had a bit of a hard week, trying to look for work & juggling the rather empty sugar bowl, I’m finding it funny how many similarities keep popping up between the two searches. Hardly any one replies, people seem keen & responsive & then don’t get back to me, and everyone wants everything they can get out of me for as little as they can give. And I’m getting kicked out at the end of the month!
Sigh…
Sorry to be a downer, I hate sounding miserable, it’s ever so boring
Nice to read everything that’s been going on!
RE: Favourite pick up line
“Do you have a boyfriend?……….Do you want one?” The beauty of this line was in the tone/gestures – Imagine a slurred London accent, an emphasised pause and then the second line delivered with cocked eyebrow and full-faced grin. Pure genius.
RE: Feminists
This is a subject I feel quite strongly about, and in turn – get very irritated with! Like Dorky Guy I like to think that the younger, more modern feminists are more…realistic, and, like he said, accept that men and women are different, and there is nothing wrong with that.
I feel that woman are too hard on men for being overtly sexual creatures just because they don’t have the same desires/needs.
I was watching the opening of Hefner’s Playboy Club in London, with hordes of feminists chanting outside “Eff off Heff” which frankly, I thought was just plain rude, let alone when they started to yell “Shame on you” to anyone who walked into the Club. I suddenly felt very embarssed for my sex.
And angry – angry that, while calling themselves feminists they were being so completely unsupportive of some women’s choices. Those women who work as Playboy Bunnies are not victims, they are adults, in a professional working environment, who make their own choices and choose which assets to capitilise on.
How dare a feminist say that any women who uses her sexuality to progress in life is a “victim”, or look down on women who choose to be stay at home mums and think that they have not been “liberated”.
That is not feminism. Being a powerful woman comes in all shapes and sizes, and it doesn’t mean you can’t still be sexy, and soft.
@Black Cherry
There’s a few of us in the London area, we try and meet up occasionally (had the best night out last weekend with Dutch Girl and Baby Doll,) you’re welcome to come along.
I shall kindly ask the Blog Gods to exchange our emails!
@EnglishRose: Welcome back! I hope that things work out better for you soon. I’m sure that you will id the silver lining.
English rose.
Sorry to hear no sugar for you.
I know u r very selective, and England men usually are not generous (well at least some of them).
Good morning to everyone.
@ HGirl
” While I do see the number going up on SA, I don’t think most girls my age are comfortable with guys much older than 30. ”
You bring up a very interesting point . What is it about College age SBs who DO participate in this lifestyle with SDs 20-40 yrs their senior ?
Sugar( power,postion,fancy lifestyle, stuff ) is obviously the biggest part of the answer but what else makes this OK ? ARE some young ladies truly attracted to an older man physically ? And if you are the only girl in your sorority of dozens ( hundreds ? ) of girls who can “DO ” this lifestyle what fraction of the female population do you think are available for SD dating ? 1 % maybe ?
I for one could no more be interested in a woman over 50 for all the tea in China –even an heiress who would set me up for life –and 40 is really pushing it . Each to their own I know . So I understand where young women are coming from re: old men . Ironically , we old men are still attracted to young women even though we have “aged out ” of that group . Our brains ( and sex drive (little brains ) do not age out . I know anthropologists can explain the biology of attraction and reproduction of the species –right ?
@Pumpkin & NewYorkGirl
I hope things work out too! I like to think I am selective, but not picky…if that makes sense? 
Thanks
But yes, there does seem to be a trend for less generosity in English men.
@Va Gentleman
I am definitely one of those girls who finds older men physically attractive, and I have for as long as I can remember. I always fancied the teachers at school, I liked my friend’s dads in my teens & I come on SA now! At 21, I wouldn’t really be that interested in a man under 28. When I was 17 I dated a 30 year old! Not for very long though..sadly he broke up with me when he realised I wasn’t 21, heehee..poor guy.
But I would be very happy dating a man in his 40′s if we clicked, I think it’s unfair to let numbers play such a definitive role. I mean…how many young women don’t fancy George Clooney? He’s in his 50′s!
And when it comes to having things in common…well, everyone can relate to enjoying travelling, or walks in the parks, or being a dog/cat person, these things are not age exclusive. So I really think what it comes down to is the person. There are some 40 year olds which would be highly unsuitable for me, who I would find very unattractive….but the same could be said for plenty of 20 year olds too!
[img]http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-973YXjji8UE/TvtFOoOWDOI/AAAAAAAACoo/LbtZCup5i74/s1600/CL+Sex+Shoes.jpg[/img]
@ English Rose: re. “…juggling the rather empty sugar bowl…” – oh, I know EXACTLY what you mean! Try other sites & other ways of looking for an SD. (I swear to got, they pop up in the most remarkable places…)
My personal opinion?
-There are more 9 & 10 SDs on SA than any other site.
-There are 20-30x more 9 & 10 SBs on SA than on any other site. (I had an SD-friend show me the ‘flip-side’ of SA through his account a few months ago; tabulated – average of 12ish new SBs in my town, vs. 2 SDs daily…)
But lots of other places have SDs (tons of 6-8s…lol) too. Try other sugar-dating-style sites; also try (I know this sounds dodgy, but…) alternative weeklies or internet classifieds?
Depending on the kind of thing you want, if you write a quirky advert (for example, looking for a special friend to share nice dinners with; or looking to accompany a businessman on travel…whatever) – that could be a great way of meeting someone who is not on one of these websites.
Oh… I did everything wrong,
Wanted to make this my avatar. But I am so low tech.
Sorry guys.
VaGent – good post on the sorority numbers and such. From what I sometimes see, girls sign up but never really pursue having a SD. Just recently I had messaged someone, only to have her come back and tell me “this is not for her at all”. I think at least half of the coeds sign up, then lose interest, or find its not for them. And of course one of the comments I get is that get cautious about guys that come across as pervs in their messages. Some girls think it might be a fairy tale, then find out its not.
Like you, I could never see myself with someone older than a certain age on the site. I realize that makes some in this blog sensitive, but that’s just the way it is. The SA filters on age are there for a reason.
@ English Rose on feminism…
I was in the Vagina Monologues last fall at my University.
The performance was raising money for what I understood to be an organization that works to raise awareness about ‘violence against women.’ Which – awesome. I also am against Violence-Against-Women…who’s not?
The after-show talk by the organization we sponsored…it turned out to be an anti-prostitution-pornography-sex-work-broadly organization. There was no mention of domestic violence or child abuse. I believe someone in the audience asked what was to be done and the end-note was “stop going to strip clubs. stop watching porn. stop…etc.”
I vomited a bit in my mouth.
English Rose and Midwest.
R u kidding about Clooney?
He is just too full of himself , his look is too sweet (do not know how to say it), I find him not masculine enough , I am not attracted to him at all and neither of my GFs.
Welcome back EnglishRose~ you were missed! Sorry to hear about your current troubles, but thanks for confiding as you know we are here to cheer you on. Love your positive attitude, btw!!
@ VA Gent & Southern Gent…
Lol…so what’s your age cap?
My age-min is 35. My age-cap is 55 (and possibly, 60-or-so if they look younger and contact me).
The age-min…immature in this situation…& the 29-35 age-range is way too close to ‘perfect-bf-range’.
George Clooney is physically hot, Brad Pitt is not. Funny how one guy can do it for me but not another…boiling down to preferences again!! Also, I find Richard Gere hot, too. Ok I’ll stop on the celebrities, ha.
VAGentleman~ “ARE some young ladies truly attracted to an older man physically ?”
…Before I joined SA I was attracted to men my age up to around 20+ older…whether they had any money or not. I rarely mentioned it to friends or family, due to judgements thrown at me. But, yea, it’s true and possible!
Meg – my top filter is 29. I have recently been looking at up to 32, but just haven’t found someone in the places I go to for business.
I like your comment above about the quirky adv for someone that might be looking for a dinner companion businessman when he visits town. That’s a comfortable situation to me. There is no pressure or concerns about being seen by someone you know (which is why I don’t like meeting locals). So the more relaxed attitude comes through in my case. You enjoy a nice dinner, and if it leads somewhere then that is great. If not, then I still had a nice dinner with a beautiful girl instead of eating alone at some chain place.
Oh, and AFTER SA, yes of course I’m still attracted to much older men! Didn’t quite phrase that right, but ya get the jist.
SouthernGent2~ May I inquire what cities you may stop in…?
OK question for the college SBs (and anyone else who wants to comment)… the universities in my area are not that well represented on SA… some of the discussion above made me have this thought/question…. would you respond to an ad for a summer “internship” job opening (sugar innuendos included) if you saw it in your college newspaper?
ok and since everyone else is chiming in… my desired age range is late 20s to late 30s. I am in my late 40s. Finding a sane, attractive (to me at least) SB in that age range that has flexibility to travel with me has been allusive as a unicorn this time around!
NC Gent~ “Finding a sane, attractive (to me at least) SB in that age range that has flexibility to travel with me has been allusive as a unicorn this time around!”
Hooray!! Thanks for the uplift!
Rare gems indeed….
@NC Gent – Re. posting a summer “sugar-ship” in a college newspaper?
I personally think…that’s just pushing too far.
I imagine that being followed with a slew of “oh, just 10 years after sexual harassment statutes were passed…yada yada yada…”
I would suggest, again, alternative weeklies. CL. A flier-ad on a bulletin board at a restaurant/student bar near a campus. (You could hire an SB to do that for you).
I think if SA were to seek interns (no sugar involved) through a college career counseling website (or place an ad in a student newspaper) that would be totally kosher though, and PC enough.
thank you meg for the award, although I think I have some competition from Dorky today…..
@Dorky I’m glad you had a fun night out! And humming is perfectly acceptable with your mouth full.
As far as younger versus older feminists, I think that through the generations feminism has changed. I’m perfectly fine being seen as a sex object – there is power in knowing and embracing that. But, see me as JUST a sex object and you’re likely to be left very, very lonely with blue balls. I’m more than that, but I am also that. And I think that’s where the controversy is – older feminists have a view that being seen as a sex object is always inappropriate, while the younger feminists are embracing this facet of their femininity and using it to their advantage. I think that modern feminism is more about making what you have a strength and using it to your advantage, instead of “raging against the machine” for things that are perceived as weaknesses.
I’ve always been attracted to older men. The older I get, the larger the age gap attraction gets.
KindredSpirit – southeastern cities generally speaking.
I’m with NCGent. Its not easy finding someone. Somehow, some way, there has to be a bigger market in the 20′s age group. Certain schools in that Top 20 list prove that word of mouth, newspaper articles, etc will bring in a lot of new profiles.
@SouthernGent2: I’m sure there is someone out there, although I can see your difficulty. I’m in the age range you’re looking for, and what I’ve come to see there are *basically* two types of women – those that take care of themselves and those that depend on others to take care of them. Unfortunately, those that take care of themselves usually require a career that doesn’t have flexibility. And, again unfortunately, the women that have decided to be dependent on others have the type of personality that you’re not looking for / attracted to. Don’t lose hope, though, she’s out there!
That above statement is based on the late 20 / early 30 age range…..doesn’t apply to early to mid 20s……
Tina — there are very few women in my desired age range that are looking for an SD and have the flexibility to travel during the week. It is usually realtors, event planners, photographer, waitresses, or independent consultants that have businesses that can travel (e.g. web designer). A very limited pool indeed!
@ Meg
” so what’s your age cap ” ?
Nothing is absolute Meg but in any search screen I usually put 18 to 35 .
@ NYG –how old did you say you were ? One of my favorite drinks is a Whte Russian LOL
@ NC Gent – you DO ave quite a challenge! With this economy, many of my friends that started their lives as independent contractor types of jobs that you mentioned above have been forced to move to a more traditional career, with their passions as a second job to make ends meet. I think it would be interesting for SA to see what the uptake on new SBs are in the past 3 – 4 years that are career women, single / divorced / widowed, late 20s – early 40s that have signed up and dipped into the sugar lifestyle. Someone on here said at one point (so many blog posts, so little time to absorb them all!) you’d be shocked at how many women on here are not looking for a SD to provide for their entire lifestyle, just a little supplement (or as an escape from themselves).
NCGent ~ ” thought/question…. would you respond to an ad for a summer “internship” job opening (sugar innuendos included) if you saw it in your college newspaper?”
I would strongly discourage placing an ad or doing anything like that! Your exposure to sex discrimination charges resulting in your shelling out for a huge judgement award is just the beginning.
Tina – you said some of the magic words. When you mentioned about certain girls wanting “to be taken care of”, that is a huge turnoff for me. I made that mistake once, never again. I also get turned off when a girl says “I am worth so much”. I know that girl is always going to have her hand held out, so why waste my time. So that eliminates part of the market for me right there. I have found that the best types are 24-26, career started, but wants a bonus to their lifestyle. JMO
SouthernGent2 – I think I might take offense at your age range
There are a few older, ahem early 30s, women that know what they want out of life, take care of themselves, but life has thrown them a few curveballs……..and a woman is only worth as much as the person she is with wants her. Even supermodels are turned down time and again. Everyone has the potential to be everything and nothing to someone, regardless of stature, looks, money, etc etc etc
And good afternoon Stormy [img]http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-sex002.gif[/img]
OK — just to clarify… my question is hypothetical and just because I asked it doesn’t mean I was going to follow through with posting such an ad…. was just curious if college women would even consider responding to something like that because what an SB said earlier about the sorority pitch and internship…. I may be dumb but I am not stupid!
@VA Gent: You bring up a very interesting point . What is it about College age SBs who DO participate in this lifestyle with SDs 20-40 yrs their senior ?
Sugar( power,postion,fancy lifestyle, stuff ) is obviously the biggest part of the answer but what else makes this OK ? ARE some young ladies truly attracted to an older man physically ? And if you are the only girl in your sorority of dozens ( hundreds ? ) of girls who can “DO ” this lifestyle what fraction of the female population do you think are available for SD dating ? 1 % maybe ?
I can’t say for other sugar babies since I’m not willing to date over 40s, but for me I am not physically attracted to older guys most of the time. I’m not sure for women that it is physical anyways though? There is some physical “minimum” for me, but outside of that I don’t care too much. I don’t really think of this as a lifestyle, this is just something I want to explore more and participate in. To be honest though, even when I date guys my age they always buy me things, take me out, etc. I had a SD date on Friday (and it went really well – I really liked him!
I didn’t think I would but I’m glad I gave him a chance because we had SO much fun) and then I had my open-relationship guy visit (they both know about each other) and it was basically the same thing for me. We went out, they bought me things, etc. The younger guy (only 4 years my senior) I’ve been seeing for well over 2 and a half years. He’s really sweet but we live far apart, etc and we haven’t even though about “long term” and I wouldn’t say we’re in love but we’re very passionate. He doesn’t see anyone else other than me because he’s a workaholic but I think he likes me because it’s convenient (or maybe he just doesn’t want to see anyone else? I don’t know). The younger guy is physically of course far more attractive than the older guy, but chemically I find them equally attractive. I’ve dated older guys before too, and for me it’s chemical! I’m guessing for women dating men 20+ years older than them they can find some connection.
I for one could no more be interested in a woman over 50 for all the tea in China –even an heiress who would set me up for life –and 40 is really pushing it . Each to their own I know .
Probably because attraction for you is more physical or at least starts physical… as it generally is for men.
So I understand where young women are coming from re: old men . Ironically , we old men are still attracted to young women even though we have “aged out ” of that group . Our brains ( and sex drive (little brains ) do not age out . I know anthropologists can explain the biology of attraction and reproduction of the species –right ?
I think this is kind of exactly what my friends mean when they say they can’t date an older guy – I’m the same way! I want an older guy to know, acknowledge, and act like he’s older. Also to use it to his advantage I guess. There’s so many variables in age differences that I think I’d be upset if a guy didn’t realize he was much older and let me experience it with him; what the point?! I have gone on a few dates with older guys convinced they were still young and I basically couldn’t take it – what a joke.
Sorry, but you’re old! Deal with it. Every age has a benefit and you’re wasting your time wanting to be 20. I don’t mean we can’t enjoy the same type of things, but I’m sure you’re not the same now as you were when you were 20.
I would say if you’re trying to target a younger group don’t come off as “we can be young too!” because no one is going to take that seriously. I would come off as that you have an advantage, you’re different, and can show a whole different side of dating, etc. You don’t see younger women trying to say “I can be old!” They use all the appeals of being their age. If you’re older, you should do the same. There are also appeals like experience, guidance, etc from a perspective you just aren’t going to hear from people your own age/your family. It’s kind of like a whole different type of relationship to date someone older.
Hey Tina 8)
I like that one! The sneaking up from behind kiss is definately more attractive to me than whapping each other over the head with gigantic mallets!
Back to Stormy’s “would you go there?” question… I have never seen a profile quite like this. Seeking a virile man to get her pregnant with children that her impotent husband has agreed to support to adulthood. Talk about being a literal “sugardaddy”. The legal risk sounds huge.
One thing that was kind of funny about my date, by the way, was that after I gave the keys to the valet was I was waiting for him to come out and this guy thought I was there with a group of girls (I didn’t even notice they were standing behind me) and started hitting on me before my date. LOL! I kept trying to stop talking to him after I explained I didn’t know them and tried to politely explain I wasn’t interested. I wanted him to leave, but I didn’t want to scream “I’m on a date leave me the %^*@ alone!” Some people are literally so clueless. I bet he bothered those girls the rest of the night.
Soooooo unfortunately, I had this kind of awkward moment with my pot SD like “nope… I have no idea who that guy was…” I almost felt like I was trying to prove myself because seriously what are the chances a random guy just comes up to me right there? He probably thought he was an ex or something. Awkward! But it ended up not mattering in the end anyways.
Back to Stormy’s “would you go there?” question… I have never seen a profile quite like this. Seeking a virile man to get her pregnant with children that her impotent husband has agreed to support to adulthood. Talk about being a literal “sugardaddy”. The legal risk sounds huge.
I read a profile of a SD saying he’s looking for someone youthful and one of the things you have to agree to is eventually moving in and having his babies! No marriage, of course. Maybe they should go for each other.
H-girl ~ Great post about older guys not trying to act young. The reverse it true too. It is definately poor taste when an otherwise mature woman dresses and acts like a teenager. However that doesn’t mean that an older guy shouldn’t try and bridge the generation gap by trying to understand or become knowledgable about the popular culture of the younger. And vice versa. A huge part of being unable to relate to each other because of a 20+ age difference can be overcome with very little effort by willingness to learn about the others experiences and kindly clueing each other in when knowledge/experience gaps arize. Sharing this can even add to the intimacy/closeness and augment the connection.
Stormy – perhaps replacing the mallets with pillows would be more intriguing? Everyone loves a good pillow fight now and again
That emoticon (notice I didn’t use “smiley” 
) is more for my working life – there are just some people that, whenever you interact with them, you feel like you’re hitting each other with mallets.
Sooooo, back onto the current piece of the blog, I have an issue relating with men younger than me. And some even my own age. I prefer older men – I guess I just have an old soul. That doesn’t mean I don’t know or can’t have fun, it’s just a different type of fun. And yes, I can still be silly. Wine and dinner for a date is just as acceptable as a picnic and spontaneous water balloon fight.
Regarding feminism, preach it sister! As for being embarrassed for your sex, don’t give that any more though. My gender would constantly be embarrassing itself, except for the fact that my gender has no shame..
Don’t worry Dorky, we get embarrassed for you. Women can carry enough shame for BOTH sexes;)
Follow me on Twitter:
@SGent2
@Tina, and we will shamelessly let you carry it!
Awww, how can I ever thank you Dorky?
@VA Gent.
“how old did you say you are?”
What I said was “I am too old for you”
And I am 24 years younger than u r Mr. Humbert Humbert. ( would that work?
loving the Humbert Humbert allusion
I love all the witty banter this weekend!!!
Be still my fluttering heart…SDinLA has appeared and as clever as ever! How’s that honest woman thing working for ya? So nice to see you back!
Hey TexasSugah!!!
Thank you Sarah, Content, et al for your well wishes! Vacay was recharging and I think I did well on the test! Now…back to reality. *sigh*
I LOVE the emoticon wars! Maybe we can have a page with the codes for all those unique ones! I think Guru wins, but Tina sure gave him the challenge!
Emily – I’m 44…don’t sweat the age stuff!
RE: Why do the older ladies pick on the younger ones? I’ve been known as the MOTB…Mother of the Blog…and I do tend to pick on our younger ladies at times. Mostly out of motherly affection, but also because there are certain ideals that I find worth treasuring in the sugar world and will fight fiercely to help maintain them.
I’m worn out and need to rest from my vacation, so cheers for now!
Oh yeah…when I was pregnant, I had several men ask me out. There does seem to be a fetish about it, plus the whole pheromone thing (and she can’t get pregnant for a while..yikes!).
on advertising for interns
Bad move. Irrespective of where you are in the world. You open yourself to so much legal liability that you will be paying off lawyers for the next century and a half.
on age range
I think I am weird in this regard. My attraction tends to be with women who are 10 years younger or 10 years older than me. Go figure.
sub 30::
More like sub 25 to be honest. Youth is always very attractive, but I love their innocence. In my sugar days, I had the privilege of sharing many “first time” experiences with young women. Things I might take for granted. Some of them were not that expensive … things like a ride in a Black Cab. Dinner at a top Mayfair restaurant. A night at the opera, dressed up. Never queueing at a nightclub. Having a table reserved at a busy bar or club. Something magical about being there when someone is genuinely surprised, impressed, and totally awed by things one tends to take for granted.
post 40::
And there are a lot of women older than 40 that remain physically attractive. For me, this is just *WOW*!! Plus, I am such a sucker for Pencil Skirts, little black dresses, and heels. Older women (in my experience), pull this look off much better than the younger ones. MILFs rock!!
More like older than 45. I love older women. They have been there, done it all and got the t-shirt. They are amazing lovers. They tend to have very few, if any romantic hangups. Not that they aren’t loving, they are more interested in the practical than the ‘sing ballards for me outside my window’ crap. And they tend to be amazing lovers. Fewer hangups. Far less self concious, and are as interested in their own orgasm as I am. They know what they want out of a sexual relationship! Great teachers too
My experience with women in the late 20s to late 30s has been bad. IRL, I get the “where is this going?” speech very quickly. In sugar, I find you can almost tell that they can’t wait for Mr Right to just get them out. Right now! Pretty much all my bad sugar and IRL dating experiences have been with women in this age bracket. Maybe it is just the biological clock ticking and all that. I dunno.
Oh yeah. I have never read Memoirs of a Geisha, or watched the movie ….. Mmm, might have to get that soon.
This site has a list of Geisha Books.
http://www.whatever.net.au/~amaya/geisha/books.htm
The one I have read (a few years ago) is, Geisha: A Life by Mineko Iwesaki, which I found very interesting, very honest, and quite moving. I strongly recommend it.
My experience with women in the late 20s to late 30s has been bad. IRL, I get the “where is this going?” speech very quickly. In sugar, I find you can almost tell that they can’t wait for Mr Right to just get them out. Right now! Pretty much all my bad sugar and IRL dating experiences have been with women in this age bracket. Maybe it is just the biological clock ticking and all that. I dunno.
Agreed and this is why I wouldn’t recommend it to my friends. Even if they say they just want money or whatever, in their minds they’re going to be hoping he’ll sweep them away. At the very least be upset when the money is gone. Girls my age are very easily changed and could get the wrong ideals with the wrong guy; one of my friends got married so she’d never have to work again. It’s been a year and guess what – she’s unhappy. Not surprised. Even if a guy were to up front say they were never ever going to be serious again she’d think he just hadn’t met anyone worth settling for.
There’s only one girl I’d recommend this to and she’s already naturally in this type of relationship so
@discreat
I’m a black SB and it’s a lot of work.
Nothing’s culminated in an actual meeting but it’s a lot of you sending out messages letting people know that you’re interested in their profiles. I guess the odds are a bit ridic – you send out 100 ‘I’m interested messages’ get back maybe a fifth in response and maybe about a fifth of those are actually relatively interested in meeting you.
I’d love to share and compare notes if you’d like!
@ Midwest I conceded my victory to Guru, but I will rise again!
@ DaddyGT: Interesting take on the ages. I can def see your point on the older women; as I age, I find myself less self conscious and more self aware which I quite enjoy. I think in general you can judge by age, but there are always exceptions. I also don’t think age has anything to do with the “awe” factor, it’s experiences. I can still be awed and am well over the early 20 stage – I choose to approach life with the attitude that I HAVEN’T seen or done it all, and there are still so many great experiences out there. I can deal with “real life” quite well, which is something that comes with age, but I don’t ignore the new experiences and learn from them.
You start to grow old when you stop learning, loving and living.
@English Rose Waves frantically! Things will get better sweetheart, I promise.
Sorry not to have been in touch, I have been playing in the snow, making snow men, having snow ball fights and swooshing off hills on a sledge, not very lady-like but very much fun!
@DaddyGT You have to wait 6 more months or so for any naughty stuff to be allowed – are you counting the days off yet? Do you have a calendar where you tick off the days, weeks, months?
Well the pregnant woman I spoke of became pregnnt intentionally (I think by AI) set up her profile very early in the pregnancy and is now the mother of a 3 month old. She had several SDs during the pregnancy and currently has 2 SDs who are happily helping her out regularly. I hope she posts here and comments about her experience and what the relationships are like.
@NYGirl
24 yrs younger ? OMG I wouldn’t know how to relate to anyone less than 40 lol ( where is that green s**eating emoticon when you need him ? )
We will be just fine !
@Stormcat: I hope she does as well, it would be interesting to hear her experiences.
@ VA Gent: here ya go!
@EnglishRose
Good to see you are still here. Been reading about the freezing cold in London right now. I was going to head up there for a few days next week for a friend’s birthday, but have cancelled that trip. So glad I am not there at the moment. Will send you some sun. Really hot and sunny down here at the mo.
@SouthernGent2
I have to agree with you on “I am worth so much” speeches being a total turnoff. In my mind, anyone that says that is implicitly devaluing my time, and my presence in any interactions to a value of £0. I pissed off a pot SB once, who came up with something similar on email, when I said, “Fine, now, from that, deduct what you think I’m worth, and we’ll have a figure for your allowance”. That did not go down too well. Nevermind. And I have learned my lesson. The best SBs are those who use sugar to augment their lives, and not as their primary or sole source of income.
on pregnant women
While I have to admit that many women look incredibly hot when they are in utero, I have never been attracted in a sexual way. That other folk do though, should be encouraging to everyone who is still looking, and worried that they might not fall into the stereotypical SB or SD. Different strokes for different folk, and hopefully someday the geography or logistics align in a way that puts you in with the person just right for you.
Welcome back missed bloggers English Rose, DutchGirl, DaddyGT, Midwest ~
Interesting how the polyamorous DaddyGT aledged celebet reappeared on the scene on the same day as fellow country babies ER and DG and the upwardly mobile Midwest . . . Hmmmm
@Dutch Girl
Wassup?!
Not counting off the months till the naughties are allowed. Seriously, I am often so busy that nookie is not on my mind at all. Only here am I reminded of it. I suppose as I get closer to June, I’ll have to start thinking about how best to get back onto the saddle, so to speak. Heh!
@Tina
And yes, once you stop learning, you start aging.
I agree with you on age not being a definite guarantee on anything. It is however, a strong indicator. Young’uns are more likely to be awed by things I might take for granted, than the older woman. I am still awed by many things too. But then again, I’m not that old.
@Stormcat Are you always that suspicious ; ) No sugar for me, although I may have a date this Friday although it is more of a travelling SD and I prefer $ instead of shopping as I HATE shopping. Any advice?
Dutch ~ I recall one SB on the blog long ago who when she was taken shopping blatently only bought items that were easily returned/sold. But I found that to be very distasteful and disingenuous. Maybe you should just tell him that you hate shopping.
Tina why don’t you click on my name and let me know who you are.
@DG: perhaps giving him alternatives that would satisfy you both? Although you hate shopping, perhaps he doesn’t feel right about giving straight cash; is there something that you need that he could provide that would be something in the middle for the both of you?
@Stormcat
Truth is, I’ve been incredibly busy doing some server migrations. And yes, still poly, and still celibate.
What can I say? I guess I’m just a sucker for all the beautiful women here. Can’t stay away!! I hope I did not sully the waters here for you.
@DutchGirl
Have fun on your date. $$ makes sense on so many levels. I too hate shopping. There are so many things I would rather do than traipse around the shops on New Bond Street, or Knightsbridge on any given day of the week! And for me, suggesting we spend the afternoon in Harrods is grounds for breakup. Hahaha.
@VA gent
“we will be just fine”
Just fine … Is not good enough.
@ NewYorkGirl: I LOVE your standards!
@ Stormcat: ask and you shall receive
@Tina I think that is the case. I just hate trawling around shops for shoes or dresses – it is not my idea of fun! As I am a bit of a geek (who looks like Barbie lol) I may ask for an Ipod/Ipad instead. The Apple store, now that is exciting! Alternatively there is a vocational course I would love to do, so I may ask for a contribution towards that as an alternative.
@StormCat Buying items that can be easily returned is sooooo tacky! I would never, ever do that!
My college newspaper had ad’s for ‘dancers.’ The ad sounded shady.
ummmm…what if the guy wants to take you shopping and it’s his idea…but you don’t know what to get and end up getting something that sits in a bag in your closet…do you just let it sit there?…for over a month? i donno…
@DutchGirl: I love the Ipad for a fun alternative to a full laptop………and vocational courses are fun as well! I have many that I would like to take, but extra finances are limiting my options at the moment…..good luck!
@ucSB: yeah, “shady” is an understatment
@discreat – “I’m a black SB and it’s a lot of work”
Is it proper to say “a black”? … I thought that was, like, disrespectful or something?…i donno
Hello all!!
@DaddyGT – liked your analysis of different age groups. Like you, I have found older women to be the greatest lovers, and younger women still learning – but it is fun teaching them. The other thing about more mature / older (40+) women, is that they understand the ‘no drama’ rule. So for me, it kind of evens out as I somehow tend to between younger (late 20s, early 30s) to older (mid-40s).
@Midwest – how are you? MOTB – lol.
@Stormy – there is a bit of flirting going on here, hmmmm?
@SD Guru – the horse trainer is going to be a dud, I think. Fun for a few days, but she is looking for occasional P4P that are hard to organise. My drama-drama-drama SB is STILL around (it’s 14 months now, on and off), seeing her twice this week. It’s actually going quite well, as we both understand the boundaries of our relationship quite clearly now, and cross them at our peril. I think she is moving to LA mid-year to work in a reality show, and a daily soap.
All is good here! Hey, btw, someone won the SuperBowl yesterday!
@VaGentleman – ““I am worth so much” speeches”
thats a very tough conversation if it even has to go there.
i had one conversation where a sd essentially wanted me to prove myself. honestly, it made my feelings for him go away – and i go with my feelings, so i went away. i said “whether it is a nickel, or a million dollars, it’s a gesture. and a matter of principle.”
eventually he figured out that he liked me, at least a little bit
and i was happy, because i liked him too 
…
DaddyGT – I had messaged with a girl back in mid January. Everything goes perfect and we agree to a dinner date next time I can get to her city. Then she goes and changes her profile to “I know what I am worth, and if you can’t meet my allowance requirements, then don’t contact me”. She had bumped up her profile to 20k per month. No way this girl will find that amount lol
@SouthernGent2 – Are you serious? …no…she didn’t…really? This guy messaged me saying he wanted to”take me shopping and give me a $20k allowance etc. etc.” i emailed back “you can’t be serious. this is unreal” then he says “i was going to give you my number and sh!t, but after this i can see that you are a MORON!!!” … ummm … Who is a moron? Me? oh…uh, huh
@ucSB: IMHO, a gentleman that cannot hold in his anger at a simple challenge to his credibility and then reverts to name calling and profanity is CERTAINLY not worth anyone’s time, regardless of the amount of money. Mutual respect is a requirement. ‘Nuff said.
Yeah! Pillow fight! ( jumping up and down laughing)
ucSB – that dude was trolling you.
@Meg
Your barmyness, openness, and general don’t-give-a-fuckness is always refreshing, and totally endearing. You rawk!!
On your quiz
1) Best sexual experience ever.
Hard to say. Although an experience with me in a kilt, and a GF giving me a BJ underneath a table in a club springs to mind.
2) First sexual experience.
I was 19. 2nd year of university. She was American.
3) Most awkward sexual experience.
At the beach. Too much sand
4) Oddest sexual request ever received.
One girl wanted me to choke her. Not my thing.
5) Favorite Position.
Cowgirl. Reverse cowgirl not so much.
6) Least favorite position.
Doggy style. I like eye, and sking contact
7) Does penis size or shape matter.
Not to me. I am stuck with the one after all
8) Does unshaved v. whatever matter.
Not too bothered, as long as it is neat. Very long pubes end up in your teeth though. Not so sexy.
9) What actor/actress would you want as an SD/SB?
Mmm. Can’t think of any off the top of my head.
10) Best date in the sugar bowl.
One SB invited me out for dinner. She started some conversation about “do I know how many business cards I had in my wallet.” She took my wallet, ostensibly to count and see if I was right. Then sat on my wallet, and refused to give it back to me till she had paid for dinner. I thought that that was really sweet.
11) Best pick-up line you’ve ever received.
“Can I buy you a drink?”. Hah. Used that one in reverse for a while when I used to travel a lot with work. Hotel bars, with women also miles from home … “Want to buy me drink?” worked great as a conversation opener. I think they were so shocked by the approach that few ever refused to actually buy me a drink. Hahaha
12) Something someone did for you that turned you on like crazy.
Organised a surprise party for me. I was genuinely not expecting it. And she managed to keep it totally quiet too. And a bunch of my friends were involved too. Genuinely thoughtful. Great party. And a serious turn on that someone would go to that length for me.
@Michael Alleycat
You are so right. I forgot that too. Older women have less hangups, and are definitely NO Drama. I think younger ones too. They are just going with the flow, and given all the hooking up that goes on on campuses, tend to be “yeah, whatever!”. Sorry ladies, but there is something that happens to you in your late 20s to late 30s that just scares the bejeezus out of us blokes.
@SouthernGent2
Hahaha. I feel your pain.
@ucSB
I totally agree. There is no need to go there. Once it get to a “I know what I am worth” level of discourse, it has already become a pissing contest, and I for one am certainly not going to go there. Guru has a great post on sugar dating financials. These should give a good idea of what is a realistic allowance for most SDs. That said, a SB displays her value, not by screeming she is worth £xx, but in many more subtle, and infinitely more attractive ways.
@ucSB – agree with Tina on this one.
@MichaelAlleycat – “My drama-drama-drama SB…is moving to LA… to work in a reality show, and a daily soap.” – well, how well-cast they will be, then…lol.
Let’s see if this works. I stumbled on this earlier on some blog. Now here’s a girl with entitlement issues.
Aww. Shucks. Looks like embedding does not work. Here’s the link when it eventually gets through the moderation queue.
http://youtu.be/90HhZ-pyC2Y
@ DaddyGT: I think I can offer some explanation to the issues late 20 – late 30s have. At this age, women are just starting to see their first few gray hairs and wrinkles, and indicator that they are getting older and can’t stop it. They’re also seeing their dating pool shrink, and people telling them they had better think about having kids soon if they want any, since they’re not getting any younger. Most women in the age bracket have had at least one, if not more, serious relationships that have soured, and they’re experiencing the crap for the first time. By the time you get to your early 40s, you’re learned to deal with all of this. I admire women in their 40s and above – they know who they are and what they want. They aren’t necessarily in your face, but they don’t take any crap. And yes, they are usually more drama free, since they know what they want and have decided that if you don’t have it, it’s not worth the time or the energy to pursue something that isn’t going to end the way they want it to.
But, not being in my 40s, this is all just conjecture. I have taken stock of how I’ve aged, however, and like what I see so far. I’ve never been into drama, so I think I’m ahead of the curve on that one.
Have I made my age range at least a *little* less scary for you DaddyGT?
@DaddyGT I think any age range have their own particular issues. I.E Younger people do not have that confidence, self-awareness older people have.
I dated a guy who was 10 years younger than I (it was legal, just lol) and he actually went down one on one knee in front of my friends – I had to turn him down although he was very cute, intelligent, handsome and athletic.
He was utterly obsessed with getting married as he saw it as a way to ‘keep me from running away’ and nothing is as off-putting as insecure guys.
@Tina
I get why they are like that. At least I think I do. Kudos for being way ahead of the curve. The truth though, is that you are probably the exception that proves the rule. And as long as the sugar bowl is so deep, and men can filter by age range, your age range will probably continue to be ‘filtered’ out. Not very fair, but that’s just how it is.
@Dutch Girl
Lol. Did he at least have the ring? Hahaha! We men are all guilty of really stupid stuff in our youth!
Insecure women are just as unsexy as insecure guys. Many years ago, I went out with a girl who was not only insecure, but was mad at me for not being insecure …
I was working hard, and long hours at the time. We’d go clubbing quite a bit.
If she’d had a long day, and wanted to sit at the table, I would hit the dance floor. If I danced, or talked to anyone at all, she’d give me the third degree when I sat down. “Who was that you were dancing with? What did you say to her? What did she say back to you? I saw her laughing … what was that about? Why was she touching you? And do forth”. It gets very tiring very quickly.
(Oh, this was in my mid 20s, before I discovered/decided I was poly, and happy about it.)
If I’d had a long day, and just wanted to sit at the table, she’d hit the dance floor on her own. I was not bothered, and certainly did not expect her to be dancing alone. I was cool with that though. No questions from me. Then she’d get mad at me for “Never being jealous!”. Like I always said to her though, if the person she was dancing with/talking to was very interesting, she’d tell me all about it. If she didn’t, I just hoped she’d had fun on the dance floor.
But no!! Apparently the fact that I was not jealous was proof that I did not care about her. Grrrrrrrrr!!!
@New York Girl
Oh my, those Louboutin’s SEX shoes are to die for!! What I would do for a pair…heard they’re quite hard to find though.
And George Clooney? Hell yeah! I think he’s incredibly sexy. Can’t really judge on his character as I don’t know him…he does come across a bit cocky but hey – I would be if I was him!
@Meg
I was thinking about looking into other sites but was put off after going onto Sugardaddie, spending time on a profile then realising SB’s couldn’t even READ email without paying!! I’m sorry but…no.
Worse, when I tried to delete my profile – I couldn’t! You have to pay to delete it, you only have the option to “Hide it”. What a scam.
So if you (or anyone else!) could suggest a decent alternative site, it would be much appreciated – Don’t worry SA, you will always be my number 1! ;P
I’ll also have a go at finding SD’s the old fashioned way…have a feeling it’ll be a lot more complicated though :/
Glad I have someone else who gets disgusted with over aggresive, ball busting feminist zealots, haha.
@Kindred
The blog is more helpful and supportive then I could ever have thought possible. A bunch of strangers from across the world, who (at first at least) only have 1 thing in common all talking? Kind of crazy how you can still connect…makes me feel a warm glow towards the human race 
Thanks lovie
Looks like my positive attitude has paid off – I have a date tomorrow!!
And I agree about Brad Pitt, I’m not really that keen on him either! But can’t stomach Richard Gere…think it’s because the first movie I watched him in he was a bit of a creep & ever since he just makes me feel…uneasy…shudder. Haha. Sorry Gere.
Two words – Colin Farrell. Probably not Sd material but my Lord that man makes me want to rip my clothes off.
And that’s my celebrity rant over now as well, heh
@DaddyGT
It is freezing cold! Snow is fun for a day…maybe 2, but after that I’ll be a right Scrooge and admit that it’s a bloody nuisance! Please please send me some sun! I think I’m a cold blooded creature, my body doesn’t seem to heat itself
Oh and by the way Pencil Skirts, LBD’s and heels are my signature look, and I have been told, many a time that I wear them to perfection
Not to blow my own horn or anything…cough…
Oh and don’t even mention Harrods! The poor tourist fools who go into it’s dark (okay..shiny) coves never to emerge again. Honestly it’s fit for a horror story.
“You start to grow old when you stop learning, loving and living.” – Tina
Here here!!
@Dutch Girl
I managed to get outside and make a snowman yesterday as well, my sister & I decided to be artistic & made him skinny, wrapped in a snow cloak & with big bushy eyebrows and a moustache – was hilarious because he ended up looking exactly like one of our Uncles 
Waving frantically back! That’s okay
So… what are you guys going to do for Valentine’s day?!
DaddyGT – “Reverse Cowgirl” can lead to some fun spankings…giddy up! When you’re just rockin’ the bed, this can be a great position for the lady! BTW – you must be quite talented to maintain composure while your gf had dessert! Impressive!
Michael – Hey Aussie! How was your trip? Sorry to hear about drama SB, but if you’re never consistent, it’s going to continue. Of course, she’s not your child, but she has her moments.
I think meg nailed it!
Over 40 SBs – I think we ROCK! Everything you said is true and most of us still have great figures! Many of us can carry on a conversation about darn near anything and many of us enjoy a new experience as much as a young lady! I’ve had many firsts in the sugar bowl!
English Rose.
I can see them in black everyday at Madison ave. CL window.
Fly here we will stare at them together.
@EnglishRose –
I’m not sure whether it’d be different in the UK.
In the U.S. – there’s EstablishedMen, which a number of my friends have had success on.
I know classified ads sound dodgy…but it’s really a numbers’ game. Sugar Dating sites primarily have paid memberships for men only and unpaid memberships for women. You do the math…lol.
There are many fewer women posting for sugar-type relationships in classifieds. While you’ll likely get a bunch of emails from people you’d NEVER meet, anyone can access the classified ads…and a lof of SD types do check them out (out of curiosity, at least).
My own experience: I placed an ad…something along the lines of ‘alluring co-ed @ elite university with culinary cravings beyond her means. Seeking to exchange companionship for classy cuisine. Only owners of silk ties need reply…’
Lol. Great meals at great places with a half-dozen or so. One ended up as a long-term dinner & travel buddy…I’m sure that had I known about sugar dating one or two might have been open to it.
Hgirl had an interesting topic started that I think I want to steal and expand on a little. SDs – what are your thoughts on Valentine’s Day? Do you treat your SB? What if you don’t have a current SB – do you have a first date then or do you wait? If you have a first date on Valentine’s Day, do you think this has an effect on the boundaries of the relationship?
Alleycat ~ Well yaa! 8( Grasshopper here! I’m feeling pretty positive about life just now. I had one of those aha moments when I suddenly realized that I didn’t need a one true love to be happy. The thought of freedom to be with anyone and everyone who comes into my life was nothing less than spiritual enlightenment. And if no one wants to be with me then I can just make myself happy living a good life alone and I won’t have to deal with compromise in order to satisfy others. Besides I’m not alone, I have my sister and my friends and my blog friends here. And I’m really popular when I lose my woe is me attitude.
@StormCat~. That is wonderful!
It is like my dear grandmother used to say… “Sex is like a game of cards. If you don’t have a partner, you better have a damn good hand!”
Meg ~ “Only owners of silk ties need reply”
Are there any kind of ties? What about silk jackets and cashmere overcoats? And of course all SDs need need at least 3 wool crape suits.
@ Dorky – what a pistol of a grandmother!
@ Stormcat – unfortunately there are……and they’re SO not nice…….
lol…
Well, I suppose an exception might be made…
Are there any other kinds of ties?? Oh yes. Definitely. There are polyester ties. And wool ties. And…
That is extremely shallow & materialistic of me. Pardon. Completely out of line with the core values and mission of this site.
@ meg – we can justify it. You prefer men with a sense of style that compliments your own.
See? No longer shallow and materialistic
Several years ago, I was on a health-related blog that had something cool and perhaps even helpful that I’d love to see here:
By clicking on the poster’s “name”, you could view every post they’ve posted, chronologically. I loved it because it helped when I was searching for some great advice I’d once noticed but couldn’t remember when, except I knew the person who wrote it. So instead of wasting lots of time scanning every blog topic, I could simply read all the marvelous tips/questions/posts from a particular poster and find my answer, or draw yet more lovely questions for growth.
Even better still, if someone wasn’t a frequent poster but had insightful things to say, I could always look back on their lists of posts. Or if I’d been away for a while, and wanted to catch up on a particular person’s “story”, there ya had it!
In addition, it’s even a bit of a drawing of breath to go back and read my ~own~ posts from a year or so ago…like re-reading a bit of a journal. For the questions we ask and the insight we give…well it says so much about us at that time in our life. Is there anyone else who feels the same…?
*Dreamy sigh!*
So my question is, could it be possible to build something helpful like that on this blog??
@Tina – lol. Absolutely.
@SC – no, it’s really just one silk tie. Preferably with a not-too-cheap-looking suit-coat.
I really have a fetish for nice ties. An SD two years back did not regularly wear ties to work. One time he did and I was sooo excited. But then it was this…awful synthetic thing. I literally had to work very hard to hide my disappointment.
Kindred ~ I think we need to give that request to Dorky Guy. I would love to read all the posts I’ve ever made but they would be out of context and ofter the posts are about interactions between bloggers and would lose a lot of their meaning if they were read in isolation.
DaddyGT – why thank you. Although “Barmy” and “don’t-give-a-fuckedness” sound like attributes a 70 year old man from Texas might have. I’m thinking Bush-cabinet-type…lol.
I LOVE that pick-up line. Clever. Yeah. That’d definitely crack me up completely (especially if it were a guy wearing a silk tie…tee hee…) and he would get the drink.
D’you think it’d work in reverse? Like, if I offered to buy someone a drink at a bar? Feel like it’d come across desperate & needy, no matter how I tried to put it off.
Hey now, don’t knock men in Texas……everything is bigger in Texas baby!
Meg ~ I wasn’t making fun of your comment. I actually own several hundred silk ties, at least 30 suits and on and on. True there is nothing like a silk tie but you need a lot more than that to achieve the understated elegance of a crisp white egyptian cotton shirt, interesting silk tie, dark wool taylored suit, silk mid calf stockings, leather suspenders, black shriner shoes, unintrusive jewelry and watch; topped with black cashmere overcoat, white scarf, felt hat, and calveskin gloves.
@ Stormcat – there is something to be said about a well dressed man. There is also something to be said about a man that can look good completely dressed down and casual. Sexy is a state of mind.
Stormcat~ I’d like to imagine that by simply reading what you posted…it would all come back to memory what you were replying to or writing about (not including from one-word answers). Anyway, some introspective food for thought.
DorkyStud, I mean Guy~ What do you think?
Me? lol, in matters of fashion, I don’t measure up to StormCat by any measure. I detest ties, and avoid them if If at all possible. I am a very simple person, with very simple tastes. I dress casually 99% of the time, and count myself blessed that my work allows for it. Occasions where i need a suit are so rare that i just go buy a new one each time. I enjoy fancy restaurants and stores, but am just as happy at chain restaurants and WalMart. i don’t know anything about wine, cheese, or cigars. If a girl is looking for an uptown experience, there are many better candidates than me.
@meg and others
thank you all for your advice and tips on safety. that is why I wanted to know about telling my friends so I can be safer when meeting even though I always meet in a public place. seems as though so far through testing the waters as mentioned I haven’t found that friend to tell. the area i’m in college at is conservative. i would appreciate having a buddy off this blog to chat with about the lifestyle and for safety. again thank you for your input. I’m enjoying reading all your posts on here about everything
@ blog-gods – please — I’d be more-than-happy for you to pass my info on to NWsugar if she’s interested!!
@SC. Oh my goodness. Seriously? I want to look through all of your ties!
@Dorky …lol. The tie is a screening tool (when you’re dealing with something dodgy like classifieds…and ‘businessman’ rules out doctors & lawyers & pilots and IT-gurus & architects & journalists. Pretty much anyone with class owns at least one silk tie…maybe.) Just like ‘co-ed’ or ‘college-grad’ may screen out some really intelligent and interesting women…but it also screens out a lot of what you aren’t looking for.
P.S. – now that I think of it…the 4 men I had the longest not-mainstream relationships with…never saw any of them in a tie (well…except the one guy with the synthetic one). But the only ones that I saw & immediately lusted after within 5 seconds…all in suits and ties.
Go figure.
@Meg, Lol, can I get away with bringing a photo of my tie?
Yeah, I understand it is a good screening tool. I remember one SB who wrote that she wears pearls to her first meet, and somehow used that to figure out if the guy can tell the difference between real and fake pearls… (another screening test that I would fail).
I am completely comfortable knowing that girls might reject me based on those kinds of screening tests. I am who I am, and with the right person, that is enough. The right person will see what others perceive to be flaws as endearing.
Awww…Dorky. You’re a pearl.
And I can tell the difference between real and fakes.
(You just have to bite them.)
Hello Sugars!!!
Wow, so much chatter!!! I can barely keep up…
Age: I am late 30s, I don’t think I have issues… and I dislike drama and lies, makes me nutty… I am way upfront and open… but we are all different. Our experiences make us who we are, shape our actions and such… I know some 20 y/o that are way more together than I am and I have met some 40 + that are stupid and childish… I think you need to get to know a person… but here, yes, age is a criteria for most, it’s all about what a SD or SB wants here, and that is awesome.
Even at my age, I have had many amazing experiences, some totally new and fun, some not so much…but I enjoy it regardless…
It’s not so cold here lately… surprising!
but i’m sure we will have snow soon again, blah….
V day: I have a SD diner !!! He sounds really nice, we will see, it’s a week away!!! Lots can happen…
Working so much lately, I think I need a mini vacay, I think for my Bday that is what I’m going to do
and get myself an iPad… that would be amazing… I still have a few months to figure it out!!!
@Midwest~ have a drink for me kitten, I so wish I could be on vacay
@Dorky~ I couldn’t tell real pearls from fake ones either… lol… I don’t have any, I haven’t had the chance to learn the difference, there’s still time…
@KindredSpirit.. Oh wait… clearly we need this feature, because I totally misinterpreted what you were asking me. I thought you were asking me about fashion.
The challenge with implementing a feature like that on this blog is that the SA blog doesn’t have a login mechanism that uniquely identifies each user. People can change the name that appears at will, and multiple people can post under the same name. I can build a fuzzy search based on the name, and that would provide semi-reliable results.
The second issue is that I don’t have access to the backend database, so I would have to do all of the processing in the browser… which means loading all of the blog pages in history into the browser for every search. A very expensive and long process, and I am sure Brandon would object to the server load.
If the planets align, I might be able to do something along those lines. My work would have to slow down so that I have more time, and the Blog Gods would have to give me access to the backend. Realistically, I don’t think that is going to happen soon though. My business is exploding, and I just don’t have time for a project like that probably until next fall.
I believe DaddyGT is an IT guru as well… not sure if he is a web coder though. DaddyGT, any interest in a project like that?
lol, are you talking about sugardaddies or pearls?
@DorkyGuy~ You are a web coder? wow, congrats, that stuff is hard. I have such a hard time with it… all that geektastic coding talk…. I don’t always get it :S but I still made all my sites and they look pretty amazing… for a non-geektastic coder
@meg
Idk how the blog gods work but i am happy to share my information as well
I have a screening tool that if he doesn’t offer to pay my gas after i’ve drove to meet him he isn’t the SD for me. I now will be more upfront that I would like to have my gas compensated for the first meeting, but that I expect nothing more than that and lunch to see if there is any chemistry.
@Midwest
Let’s just say I was grinning like a Cheshire cat. It helped that it was in a club, with typical club lighting, and not a restaurant.
@EnglishRose
I hate London snow. It never quite settles in Central London, so unless you are outside Zone 2 or so, you can’t actually have any fun with it. And when it does settle, it soon freezes, so walking anywhere involves taking your life into your own hands on black ice. Then it screws up with the trains and tubes. My all time best excuse, is “The wrong kind of snow fell, and has caused delays on the trains.”. Plus, you can’t get a cab when it is snowing. Then the airports close. Sheesh, I sound like a grumpy old man, but yeah, snow in London is pretty shit!
on EnglishRose in a LBD
All those curves and me with no brakes! 
That look though, has got to be the best thing to happen to women’s fashion since the fig leaf. I will overlook many things on a woman in a pencil skirt! Many things! 
Cold shower beckons. 
Getting visuals.
on Harrods
Don’t get me wrong. I love going to Harrods’ when I have something very specific in mind, and can’t figure where to get it. If they don’t have it, they will go the extra mile to find it for you, even if it means calling other stores for you. Their service tends (tended?) to be top notch, but wandering around the concessions hoping to see something that catches my eye is a no no!.
@KindredSpirit
On your comments request. Well, the short version is that given the way WordPress stores comments, it would be non trivial to try and retrofit the functionality you are looking for to this blog. So, don’t hold your breath on that feature.
@Meg and Stormcat
I have to agree with you both re:Ties. Not only must the tie be silk, but it must be woven silk. Printed silk just looks wrong. In my corporate days, I loved wearing good ties, or no tie at all. And with a tie, you can tell a good one from a rubbish one in like 1 second. Good tie + Good shirt = win. I think men should rather not wear a tie at all, than wear a bad one.
And I think anyone wearing a clip-on tie should definitely be taken out back and shot. Twice. Ditto for any man that cannot tie a bow-tie! Ladies, if there’s a ‘helping your man get dressed’ skill you must learn, it is how to do up a tie, and a bow-tie.
@Meg on pickup lines
. Like any pick-up line though, it is a lot more about he delivery, than the actual content. Works better on someone who is definitely alone, and you too are alone. Not sure about regular or singles bars, but when you are all alone in some hotel bar in the middle of Nowhereville, you welcome a cheesy line like that.
The first time it happened, a woman actually used that on me. It broke the ice, and got us talking, although I did end up doing most of the drink buying
@DorkyGuy
.
Don’t shoot yourself. We all have our ‘thing’, and it is different for each man. I love ties. I love cigars. I love whisky. Wine? I know nothing about the stuff. Can’t stand wine actually. I tend to drink it only under duress. But whisky? Now there’s something I could talk about, and drink all day
I suppose the trick is to be comfortable, and confident in whatever it is you are doing. I always found however, that my step had an extra bounce when I though myself in a particularly dashing power tie and suit combination. YMMV.
Who doesn’t like a man in a nice suit and tie!!!
All this talk about not liking wine and no knowledge of it makes me so sad. I love wine, and a good pairing of it with the right food, holy cow! There are so many good wineries near the area I live in, it just takes time and the right person to help you find the taste you like. Wine is very personal, which can make the experience very nice foreplay. It’s all about the sensations – taste, color, smell, the feel of it on your tongue and throat, how it changes as it opens and hits different areas of your pallet. Learning how to enjoy wine can be a good way to learn how to enjoy other areas, but I digress…….
Tina~ I totally agree… Wine tasting is so much fun and interesting!!!
Especially when you get to experience the wines as they age from the barrel, but I’m spoiled like that
@Tina~ if you are close to wineries, then you can experience that… I went wine tasting in Napa, I loved it… it was amazing!
@ Beach_Girl, it also helps if your father is one of the winemakers as well
I haven’t been to Napa, Sonoma or Willamette Valley YET, but I’ll get there someday. I already have my list of recommended wineries from family and friends!
@Tina~ Well, I went twice to napa and sonoma… it was amazing. I am hoping to go the France for some wine tours someday! And having a winemaker or winery then yes, it does help a lot!!
We have some wineries here, but they are open in the summer only. I have been to some wine classes given by the liquor store here, it was so much fun! It’s very interesting…
@ Beach_Girl, I would also like to take a tour of European wineries (France, Italy and Spain in particular) to compare the wines that I’ve had here in the U.S. (i.e. a true Spanish Tempranillo). Luckily the wineries here are open all year long, even though it can be a bit hot in the summer for wine tasting.
@Tina~ OMG so many places to visit for wineries… I want to do all those too
We have a lot of imported wines here and I do try a lot of them. My fav lately has been a spanish red wine, Montecillo 2007, Very coarse… so good!!!!
I could talk about wine all night, but I have to work in the morning… Night night Sugars
on wine
The wine thing is difficult for me. I am yet to find a wine that I actually like the taste of. And I have tried a few. From 2 buck chuck through to bottles that cost several hundred.
Pretty much the only time I every reall drank wine, was at the dinner table with mum holding a shotgun to my head. I just don’t have a wine palette.
And I have been to a lot of (sometimes very high end) wine tastings. Most recently in Stellenbosch in the Cape. Invariably, I end up sitting at the bar working my way through their whiskey collection whilst my friends carry on with the wine tasting.
Actually, everything you write there, is stuff I would say about whisky. Unfortunately, most people think Jack Daniels <> when you talk about whisky. Some might throw in Chivas or Johnny Walker, but there are literally hundreds of different whiskys out there, and with very distinctive characteristics. Well aged single malts rock, although I do love ‘cheap’ Jameson too.
My take is that as long as you know what works for you, there is not need to apologise for your tastes.
The only thing I know about wine is I like merlot, and haven’t liked any white I have tried. Not many wineries in the Dallas area. Maybe find an SB who knows something about it to show me what I’ve been missing.
Wow, several hundred comments in the past 24 hours. How is a guru supposed to keep up??
Kudos to everyone for handling sensitive topics such as age and feminism with intellegence and class!!
Did SDinLA go back in hiding
@Michael
the horse trainer is going to be a dud, I think… My drama-drama-drama SB is STILL around (it’s 14 months now, on and off)
So are you on the hunt for a new #1 again?? Maybe your drama SB wasn’t so bad after all. If you’re still seeing her occasionally after 14 months then she must be doing something right. Or perhaps your tolerance for drama has increased?
@Stormcat
I suddenly realized that I didn’t need a one true love to be happy… And I’m really popular when I lose my woe is me attitude.
Congrats on reaching enlightenment, you’ve discovered the secret to life is to be happy with yourself first!
@NC Gent
my desired age range is late 20s to late 30s…
If that’s the case then most co-ed SB’s would not be in your desired age range. Maybe you and SG2 can divide and conquer, he goes after the under 30 group and you go for the over 30!!
@DaddyGT
Favorite Position: Cowgirl. Reverse cowgirl not so much.
I didn’t know there is such a thing as a bad position…
@Dorky Guy
SA blog doesn’t have a login mechanism that uniquely identifies each user. People can change the name that appears at will…
There is a mechanism to register users for the blog and allow only registered users to post. But currently it’s set up so that anyone can post a comment without registering or login to allow for greater participation. The downside is that anyone can post under any name and some people have posted under multiple names (not sure why anyone would do that but it happens).
Oh my, the blog has positively exploded in the past day! So much to catch up on…
@nwsugarbaby I would also be happy to be your internet SB buddy… I’m also located in the nw, so that could be fun! I’m a bit of a newbie as well though
Re: Age Those that know me constantly mistake me for being older than my early 20s, because I’m so mature. However, I find that many SDs aren’t willing to give me a chance because I am young, or simply think that we have nothing that relates us. It’s quite the disappointment, because I really like older SDs. I still haven’t figured out a good solution to the sometimes negative coed young SB stereotypes. I feel like if I put on my profile that I’m “more mature than my age suggests” that just sounds really immature. What’s a girl to do?
Re: Wine I love wine. I have had such a palate for it, ever since I was a teenager (shh!) It can actually be annoying, because I’m a bit of a snob about it and just can’t bring myself to drink really cheap wine. As a result, I rarely drink it because it isn’t quite in the budget (as even $10 is stretching it nowadays!) Bit of a problem for a college student, with all of the parties thrown around here! But yes, I definitely agree with everything Tina said on the subject. A good wine is just so sensuous, and a great pairing makes enhances a meal beyond belief. I haven’t met any SDs that really appreciate wine yet, however. That being said…
Re: Whisky Give me a nice bottle of Oban, and I’m pretty much in heaven
I think that what it really comes down to is that whether your life comprises of wine, whisky, and / or some naughty cowgirls you must be comfortable with your own sense of self in order to really enjoy. Once you have that firmly in place, who cares what others think of your tastes?
The real reason that coeds prefer older SDs over college boys:
xkcd.com/983/
@ucSB Hahaha, uh is it? I’m Nigerian so I never refer to myself as African American since I’m not. Hm, maybe an NBA? A Nigerian Born American? More internal exploration later lol
Nwsugarbaby
The veterans get caught up in their own discussions but I’m sure they simply didn’t read your plea!
I actually have a way different experience than a lot of the college SBs on here. My sorority is really small and REALLY diverse (different races, cultures etc) and it’s virtually impossible to keep our lives from being intertwined so all my sisters know about the site and one even joined about three weeks after I told them all. Lots of support, even if they’re a bit worried. I also have a lot of best friends from back home and about 3 of those know so I’ve got a really wide safety net.
It’s hard when you don’t.
If the blog gods approve, I’d love to be your buddy to keep you safe! We’ve gotta stick together and a pen-pal is always fun! Click my name to go to my blog and comment with your email address and I’ll def email you!
Oops it came out crazy but I meant even though they have discussions going, they always read cries for help!
Last time I watch Roswell reruns while I try and respond!
-_-
Good morning sugars!
Kindred – That’s a fun idea! Funny thing is, as Guru mentioned, it would reveal those who blog under several names/ addresses even though they are one person. That would raise some eyebrows! (where’s a good emoticon when I need one!)
Beach_Girl/ Daddy GT – Hey kitten! I’ve been to Napa Valley and a few wineries in Michigan, but I couldn’t tell you a fine wine from a cheap wine when you do the “brown bag” test. Have you ever been to one of those wine parties where you don’t know what you’re drinking, then find out the best tasting wine was the $3 bottle from the local grocery store? I have enjoyed a 50yo glass of Grand Marnier that made me tingle all over
It was great for kissing too! Yummy!
poofff
i cant blog here sincce 2 days boo!!!! too much chatter haha xxx
helllo everyone,
jus a quick beso and cuddles to everyone…
@blackcherry~yes please blog gods if you can please send her my email so we can arrange something when we are both free??
English rose~ arrghh remember you are gorgeous,even if some pot Sd’s dont/wont follow through xxx their loss;)
@tina ~ i love those emoticons haha they made me giggle scrolling down and seeing them move xxx
@dutchy~ when are we all going to catch up …wine and dine and get those men running after you girls(*@ER and You hahahaa!!!!)
sorry,i was always on my mobile the last time,as you know not very interested on those Italian and Brazilian studs!!! (giggle)
Wines~ i love wines and actually will take a course re food and wine i hope sooner than later,but the best french wines are for me,the Old world Reds and French is always good,try St Joseph or Margaux xxx I love <3 xxx
and re Whisky~i love drinking whisky and was taught by my Sd how to drink it right, but unfortunately he will only drink good whisky from Scotland ~Highland Whisky ,which is very good and smooth.it is very nice with a splash of really cold water …(still not sparkly)
To All~ i tried to reply to an email i received from an Sd here on SA as i unhid my profile~but its strangge it is unsent! hmmm any one knows why?
gotta go back to work ciao ciao everyone xxxx
DaddyGT ~ Have you encountered a scotch called Loch Dhu? I think it is a lowland scotch and the distillary went out of business about 10 y ago. Originally inexpensive I’ve seen it for sale on ebay for $200 plus. I had the fortune of finding a bottle of left over stock in a local shop where the owner didn’t know what he had so I snapped it up and put it in my cabinet. But I let a bunch of friends stay at my place while I was out of the country and when I got back found that they had drank the whole thing. Problem with people not realizing what it’s worth.
If I’m interpreting the url correctly it tells me that the blog since it started comprises 5707 pages (i.e. topics) including 276,420 posted comments. I must say that is impressive especially considering the length of some posts. I wonder how many volumes of printed text that would fill.
Good morning Midwest, Babydoll, everyone.
Good morning Stormcat, good morning.
NewYorkGirl ~ I just refreshed and as it was loading I saw that you had posted. I thought “Oh good, NewYorkGirl, I like her . . . I wonder what she is going to say?” Then the screen popped down to your post and I saw that it was a good morning to me. I’d say this day is starting out very well! Good Morning NewYorkGirl! 8)
SDG — you are right regarding SG2 and I “dividing and conquering,” but he recently began infringing on my territory by expanding his age range to 32.
I really haven’t met any women on this site who were looking to get married, even in the late 20s to late 30s age range, but then again, I am married so that probably sets a boundary early on. I have tried a lower age range, and I too have noticed, that they tend to be more impressed by “modest” luxuries (think it was SG2 who noted that). I really didn’t see a whole lot of differences other than favorite shows, movies, music, etc between the two age groups. The main reason I prefer the age group that I do is that I have looked for more of a “sugar gf” than a “sugar baby” in the past. Just felt when the woman was closer to my age, that was more likely to happen. Plus, I really do not enjoy the stares in public, but that is me. Having said all this… about ready to give up on locating that unicorn and go back to the woman (who is in her late 20s) I was having an affair with… she moved out Wednesday, so hopefully less drama now :/
@Stormcat
No, I haven’t come across that one yet. I will keep an eye out for it though.
Lately, I have been sticking to my bread and butter whiskeys (Macallan + Jameson), as I hunt for the few cask strength whiskeys that you will occasionally come across. Discovered a bar in Johannesburg that has a few of these. Pricey though. Typically starting at USD$100 for a double, and going up from there.
One of my ultimate dreams, is to own a micro distillery, making organic whisky
. Watch this space.
Morning sugar fam!! Hope everyone has a fabulous day!
What are everyone’s plans for Valentine’s?
I am very excited about spending a fun-sugar-filled weekend with my SD. We’ve only met a couple of times and he wears a gold band on his left hand so at first we weren’t even sure this weekend was going to happen, but now, everything is booked and I think we are set. I’m still trying to come up with a thoughtful gift – any ideas? I made a pit stop at Victoria’s Secret last night and bought some goodies, but I was hoping to do a little something more because I did the hot lingerie for Xmas. Maybe some of the SDs on the blog can help? Thanks! xoxoxo
Ditto for any man that cannot tie a bow-tie!
DaddyGT, let’s just agree that we live in very different worlds.
I got a message on another site this morning at 8:18am saying something simple like “I would like to get to know you.” I read it, checked her profile to see where she lived and then went back to work figuring I would respond later. At 8:48am she sent another email saying “I guess you’re not interested.” I tried to respond that I was busy and would respond later and she had already blocked me. Some people have no patience at all. Anyone experience something like this?
Stormcat.
Enjoy this nice sunny warm day!
(I “favorite” your profile a few days ago, since u link it to ur blog name,
but you would not know which is my profile:)
Hello Sugars!!!
@Midwest~ I have been to those “brown bag” tastings, it’s so much fun. I did a wine and cheese, before school last year, it was so fun. Everyone brought a wine and a cheese, it was Awesome!
I did a Vodka tasting once, omg, who knew there were so many differences… I would love to try scotch tastings, cognac tasting too sound interesting. Ok, well I would like to try all tastings… lol, hummm that sounds… a little bad lol
Back to work for me, have a great day Sugars
Phoneguy — yes that has happened to me before….. good to find out early is the only positive way I can look at it. Also, based upon one of your previous posts, we may share an alma mater
Looks like a busy morning makes me a late comer to the conversation. @ Dorky – there are actually quite a few good small wineries in the Dallas-ish area, many slightly NE or Fort Worth. 45 minute drive at the max. Most are in the Hill Country, though (Fredericksburg, Llano, etc.) off 290. There are a few wine trails that specialize in specific areas, and that way you don’t have to drive or worry about finding them yourself. As far as whites, since you enjoy Merlot, you probably want to look at a strong barrel aged Chardonnay where you can get the large, robust oak flavor. I can suggest a few wineries that the winemakers are good at the “larger” wines if you would like
@ Stormcat – good morning my dear. I’m happy that you’ve reached enlightenment, although it seemed to happen after you read my profile. Should I be insulted?
@ DaddyGT – I wish you lived closer to me, as I would love to try to find at least one wine that you could enjoy. And I’ve always been interested in learning how to taste/appreciate scotch and bourbon, although it isn’t something that is popular in the area I live, so finding someone that can guide me can be difficult.
@ MidwestSB – the thing that I love about wine is that the price tag really doesn’t matter – it’s such a personal issue. I’ve had $5 box wine that made me tingly, and $50 bottles that I couldn’t take more than a sip of.
@ TinTinSB – I love small wineries, there are gems there that aren’t expensive, and I love going back year after year to see how the winemaker’s style changes and grows with the varietal he/she specializes in.
Quick note: I’m really NOT an alcoholic, I promise! I have 4 bottles of wine here at home that I haven’t touched in 2 – 6 months, and I haven’t had a glass in….ummmmmm…..2 months? Wow, what a shame
@ MidwestSB – here you go darling [img]http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-shocked003.gif[/img]
phew!!! what a bloody busy day …!!!
sorry ,didnt men to be rude,its 16.17 London time Sugars …
just quick kisses xxxx
@stormy~ goodmorning xxx
to all the beautiful american Sugarbabies ~ have a lovely day to you all xxx
to all London Sb’s i hope your days are spent lazing and shopping haha!!!
@Stormcat
the blog since it started comprises 5707 pages (i.e. topics) including 276,420 posted comments.
You must be really bored to be looking at the blog url…
There are 340 blog topics, 30 pages in the Tips section, and over 123k published comments since the inception of the blog. The 276k number you see probably includes spam which are mostly filtered automatically.
@NC Gent
about ready to give up on locating that unicorn and go back to the woman (who is in her late 20s) I was having an affair with…
Good luck with that! Now that she’s on her own maybe she’d be expecting more from you?
@SouthernCharmSB
I’m still trying to come up with a thoughtful gift – any ideas?
Back in December there was a discussion about gift ideas. Here’s what I wrote at the time.
@PhoneGuy, seems like a drama queen just screened herself for you. It is only 9:00 am and you have already dodged a bullet! I doubt even Morpheous was so nimble on his feet.
@Tina thank you for the advice! I will look into it. Awesome emote to Midwest.
@DaddyGT, guess you are right, I just need to stay in my niche interests. Not sure how many girls are turned on by quantum physics and musicals, but I am sure they are out there. Not sure alcohol will be it though. I just don’t drink enough. Tying bow ties… Lol, I can tie my shoes and a regular tie. That is all of the knots that I need.
@ DorkyGuy – it’s probably best that you don’t look for a dorky girl who likes to drink too much – that could be quite embarrassing in public. By the way, I’m digging the xkcd site – loving #1011….Eggsperm…..hehehehehe…..
And how about a musical about Quantum physics? Hehehehe, Star Trek to music…..can you image Mr. Spock singing “Vuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuulcan mind trick is the thing to do!!!” (sung in the same tume as “Oklahoma”) (and I know, Star Trek isn’t exactly based on quantum physics)
Not to get too nerdy, but there is a ton of quantum physics in Star Trek. Both the transporters and warp drives are based on real concepts.
Lol at Spock singing musicals. What I wouldn’t give to see Spock doing a rendition of 7 Brides for 7 Brothers. “Bless her beautiful hide… Wherever she may be…”
I love xkcd! Lost a few hours to that website. It is nerd heaven =D
Dorky ~ Hey!
I’ve been thinking of a really practical new product for the marketplace. A desktop particle accelerator/mass spec analyzer I’m sure everyone will want one of those.
How about Spock, McCoy and Scotty in “Oh Brother Where Art Thou?” teehee
I’ve had many conversations re: Star Trek and “real” quantum physics – I didn’t want to start a nerd war on here. I have a few former friends that were very much against Star Trek, and argued that it used Quantum Physics when it was convenient, then strayed when the laws of physics interfered with the sci-fi portion so they ignored the laws.
Dang you Dorky – I though that the anonymity of electronics would help hide my own dork, but you keep bringing it out! Eeep!
@Stormy… Wonderful idea! If everyone had a particle accelerator, we could have a lottery and a huge prize for the first person to find the Higgs Boson. Think of the advances we could make! Plus, everyone could make their own micro-universes at will… Be God for a nanosecond. It would finally cure humanity of inferiority issues.
@Tina… The Star Trek detractors are looking at it too narrowly. I find it interesting that they same people probably enjoyed Harry Potter and Tolkien. When one style of fiction engages in fantasy, it is good, and when the other engages in fantasy, it is bad? The purpose of Star Trek was not to be a technical manual, but to entertain and inspire. It did both of those things successfully, which is why it is still talked about today. In my humble opinion, of course.
I agree Dorky – sci-fi is all about entertainment with just enough current known science to make it seem possible. Which, if you’re a true science geek, makes it all that more entertaining since it stimulated the imagination. And I don’t know if being God for a second would cure humanity of inferiority issues – it might just enhance them. The competition to have the best microuniverse? The power to create and destroy? Oh boy, I can see the sociopaths drooling from here……..
Tina ~ Thanks, actually the moment came a while ago but Master Alleycat hasn’t been around that much lately for me to tell about it.
NewYorkGirl ~ Are you the one panning for gold at the top of a waterfall? 8)
Damn you Dorky. I can’t tear away from the xkcd website………gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
@Tina~ Ohhh.. check out xkcd.com/980/ I am actually thinking of ordering that as a wall poster.
I saw that one – I love it, but I will have to admit it made me a little cross-eyed for a sec
I’m digging 1002, especially since I love Calvin and Hobbs!
992 tripped me out too
Loved 992… good lord, how much time did he put into that? “Planets” was hysterical, but I was really impressed by “Geologic Periods”. By the way, my profile is 342017, if you would like to take it off blog, and let them get back to discussing ties
Upstairs Neighbor…..the bad part is that specific one is dated, due to poor Pluto being downgraded…the bastards!
Check your e-mail. You’ll know it’s from me.
Tina and DorkyGuy would make a great blog couple — both super sweet! Hope there turns out to be some magic for you two
Awww, shucks NC Gent [img]http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-ashamed005.gif[/img]
SDG — she hasn’t asked for anything yet, and I highly doubt she would even consider asking unless she was under extreme duress. She knows I have sugar dated though, so I am sure it is in the back of her mind. I will bring up the topic when the time is right — don’t want to see her struggle.
Oh my so many things to comment on! I missed so much letting my cold kick my bum.
@Guru – I am a poor college student so bills are only accepted if the balance owed can be worked off in some means that allows to me learn new skills Preference is given to skills of no use in the corporate world. >=}
Re SB Age: I guess I am in the unloved age range being 26. How to make people realize that while I am 26 I skipped the behavior of my late teens early 20s and feel the need to make up for that loss. Marriage, babies, “where is this leading” questions and all that crap… ick.
Re SD Age: I honestly believe that age is just a number and that older men do have a lot more to offer than younger men. That does not mean that just because chronologically you are 60 that you are going to be more or less mature than someone that is 35. Heck I know some people that you would never guess are as old as they are. It is about attitude as much as looks.
Re Well Dressed Men: This is the one thing that can make me want to drag a guy to the nearest semi private space with a locking door. That and they have to smell good. I have never been able to figure that one out but if you smell really good I tend to loose a little bit of my common sense. Add to that being dressed well and all bets are off. In my world guys need to be able to look “yummy” This does not mean that you have to be in a suit and tie and all that but if you look yummy enough I make no promises that I am not going to drag you off and have my way with you. Personal note – this did get me in a little bit of trouble once at the movies…. >.>
@Fellow SB’s anyone who wants my email for communication, safety buddy, or general plotting and scheming reasons give a shout. The blog gods have my open permission to pass my email along.
NC Gent – if you don’t mind, please keep us posted. I’m interested in seeing how a “traditional” relationship possibly morphs into a sugar……..
@DorkyGuy I’m definitely turned on by quantum physics! Gorgeous nerdy women totally do exist out there, you just may have to screen a bit more. I think that science is just incredibly sexy, although I’m not as big of a fan of musicals. I’ve had an astronaut tell me my job is cool, and that gave me the title of nerd shadow princess among my college friends
I’m also nerdy enough that I bought a few different bras with magnetic clasps, got bored studying my actual physics assignment one afternoon, and decided to play around with calculating magnetic fields and theorizing induced currents on a wire using them. Yes, I’m a nerd 
The SciFi / Fantasy debate is an interesting one. It is funny how my friends will let so much slide in terms of fantasy books, but then if just one scientific fact is wrong in a sci fi book, they will pounce on it like rabid animals. I think the main irritation is that there is so much shoddy quack science going around the general population, anything with fake science basis tends to draw ire from the published paper reading crowd.
Alright, now I’ll let the conversation veer back to normal sugar land
Ooooh, I think DorkyGuy is getting a Dorky Girl fan club
lol!
There just aren’t many contexts where you can use “Hey beautiful, let’s take off your bra and try to light up a lightbulb” as a pickup line.
There ought to be nerd bars, where you can approach girls with lines like “I wish I was your derivative so I could lie tangent to your curves.”
Or the line “Be still my beating heart…..no, really, I have a pacemaker, could you lose the bra?”
LOL! Ok, I have to ask.. magnetic clasps? Wouldn’t they come undone too easily? I guess they wouldn’t if you were attractive enough… *groan*
They’re actually quite common, and more comfortable than traditional clasps, although tend to be on more expensive bras. I like them on the front clasp bras better than back clasp, however.
@NC Gent,
I think I made a comment about Michigan State once but I didn’t go there.
I went to Purdue for my undergrad and University of Michigan for my MBA.
Boiler Up
I wish I was your derivative so I could lie tangent to your curves.
LOL, that is just awesome. Haven’t heard that one before.
Can’t wait to use it. 99% of the time the response will be “what?”. But that last 1% is either going to be /slap or something very positive.
So what are eveyone’s plan for Valentine’s Day? Has anyone heard the the story of St. Valentine? He secretly married couples, because the Rome wanted its young men to enter the military and not marry. If I have the story wrong, please correct me.
If she’s smart her comeback should be something like “if you’re lucky, I’ll let you be my integral so you can be the area under my curves”
@TinTinSB
Would be great to have a buddy from the northwest to chat with about everything. Hopefully the blog gods hook us up with each others info
@ConfectionConfessions
I love that your sorority girls are overall supportive as well as being a diverse group. I hope the girl who joined has been having success as well as you. I commented on your blog so hopefully you can get my contact information from that.
@Emily Valentine’s Day I got a beautiful gift from my SD already for Valentine’s Day. I may get to see him this weekend depending on my school load. He also took me out for dinner and chocolate my favorite. I think as long as both people know what one another like any Valentine’s Day celebration can be fantastic. I have heard the story, but I don’t remember it that well. I think he may have done something like you said or made people valentine’s day cards. I remember him ending up in prison over something. I guess to get a for sure answer google it and read it from a few different sources. would love to hear more about how this romantic holiday came about.
@phoneguy
We joked about the derivative thing in my high school trig class and college calculus class. its a good judge to see how into science and math a person is. I personally like a guy with those traits.
“If I was sin^2 and you were cos^2 together we would be one”
Lol…Nwsugarbaby. That joke was the BEST!!! LOL
Seriously…I think we should organize a ‘dork-bar-night.’
Attendees can only use nerd-pick-up lines.
No silk ties. Only overly high-waisted pants and suspenders…
No entry fee for those wearing plastic-framed glasses with lenses larger than a wine-bottle-bottom.
@stormcat~when i click your name here to stalkprofile it says.profile unavilable…boo!!
@emily~ohh been trying not to think of valentines day!!! as for some of us Sugarbabies who are
mistresses,well,we have to accept that christmas is spent on the 27th of dec,new year spent day after not before,valentines would be either a day or two earlier or later than 14th,so to be honest for me my answer would be,unplanned until the time and date is confirmed by Sd haha!
But in my expirience,from the first christmas,it maybe not on the day,but he made sure it was just as if it was christmas day,christmas lunch,presents and a lot of cuddles
New year~spent together the day after,cycling through the Common and drinks and dinner xxx so this is my first Valentines day to be a Sugarbaby but I have accepted that I wont be with him on the day…its ok as I know He is mine any other day
@meg, I am in! I hope Amy Farafowler can come, she is a GODDESS!
Yeah, my magnetic bras are all front clasp, and definitely have the comfortable yet sexy vibe just right. But, I’m also a lingerie and stiletto addict, so my idea of comfort is probably somewhat warped, lol.
My favorite nerdy pickup line? “If I was an enzyme, I’d be helicase so I could unzip your genes.”
I wish I was your derivative so I could lie tangent to your curves.
My reply: I wish I were your second derivative so i could fill your concavities.
Also, in the spirit of Valentines day, my two favorite takes on a classic poem:
Roses are #FF0000, violets are #0000FF. All my base are belong to you.
Fezzes are red, the TARDIS is blue, bow ties are cool, and so are you.
If you understand both, nerd points are yours!
Re: Valentine’s Day Plans I don’t have any currently. It’s the anniversary of my latest ex- boyfriend (of 2.5 years!), and while I’m not still hung up on him, I’m definitely using it as a good excuse to indulge in some ice cream! I would love to get together with my SD, but he’s married and so I think he probably has a commitment to his wife
I am kinda bummed about not having anyone to celebrate with, because I love going all out in terms of doting on people for holidays.
For those looking for something both sweet and naughty to make for their valentines:
http://www.porn-bread.com/horny-hearts.htm
(I’m not sure if links work in this blog, but I’ll post it anyways. If it doesn’t go through, just google porn bread horny hearts.)
Ooooh… I left for three days and missed out on so much.
@Tina…. OK, I agree that a spanking may be needed. But only if you give it to me. You have to do it with a giant lollipop and post pics in the blog for everyone to see. :p
@Stormypoo…. Silk ties are sexy. you should send me one of your awesome ties. I have a awesome photo in mind for it.
About pregnant chicks…. They can actually be amazingly honey people. I don’t know if that makes up for having to listen to them wake up on the toilet every morning. But hey, if that’s your thing…
I’m sure that theres alot more that i missed, but I’m going to play in the rain.
@ jenniebug: here ya go [img]http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-sex007.gif[/img]
blog gods can you please send me @Black Cherry’s email address so i can contact her soon??
xxxx
http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-sex007.gif
@ meg- why do we need to do this at a bar. Look. Picking up on dorks is simple. All you have to do is walk into a computer store with a shirt that says talk nerdy to me.
DorkyGuy, DaddyGT, Stormcat, etc~ Thanks for responding, and I understand now why it isn’t that simple or likely.
Speaking of people who use more than one name to post, I believe I figured out one who used at least 2 different usernames…because she liked to “stir the pot” one too many times, pissing people off! Haven’t seen her in quite a long time….
She acted like a real miss-know-it-all in a very bitchy, attacking way. Wouldn’t surprise me if she got barred, hm.
@Stormcat. Damn. I think there are at least 3 sbs on this blog who want to play with your ties. lol.
@ Tina – what’s the photo idea involving ties? I had a short-film idea involving stealing ties off of guys in night clubs…but I don’t know anything about cinematography, and have put that on the side burner.
@Jennie – lol! Or…just walk up to any guy in my campus dining hall.
No, more of a public service to SDs seeking SB-geek-ets.
Re: “@ Tina…” – meant @ Jennie-bug.
I’m a bit dense…lol.
I’ve created a blog (mainly so yall can contact me off-blog if you want).
@Stormypo Thanks for your contribution to my new profile pic. I’m sure ill have alot of fun playing with your tie!
Meg ~ Yes I realize, I didn’t know my tie collection would become such a chick magnet. I already picked one out for Jenniebug and I’m going to send it to her in exchange for the photos
I accumulated them over about 10 years when I worked at the firm. One of my colleagues and I would go out for lunch once a week and then go shopping. We’d buy 2 or 3 ties or a couple of shirts, and once in a while a suit, jacket, or shoes. Best place to buy ties back then was Sacs and Bloomies. Actually had a line item in my budget just for ties. It’s amazing how many ties you can accumulate at that rate. 8) Since then, I’ve discarded a lot of them and have a lot more in storage but I still have about 100 of my favorites in my closet. I only have 3 or 4 bowties though and I never wear them. Unlike DaddyGT I hate the way bowties look. Kind of prisey from my view. Also I have never had the pleasure of having a woman tie one on me successfully. They always f**k it up and I have to retie them so I just gave up on that long ago. Maybe I’m too picky! lol
@TinTin~. I have long believed that there are 10 kinds of women in the world… Those who understand binary, and those that don’t. I love all women, but have a special fondness toward the former. Lol@ your valentines poems. I have been a big fan of the Doctor since watching the original series on PBS. Message me on my profile sometime.
@Stormy~ Send me a tie too! I have a picture idea, just for you
@KindredSpirit~ I believe I know of whom you are speaking. hmmmmm….
Uh, Dorky, just, uh, wow………collecting all the dorkettes AND hitting on Stormypoo………
I’m….errr….speechless……
And I am shameless =D… Think we covered that further up the blog! LOL! It has come full circle.
(shakes head) oh Dorky……that’s all I can say……and it looks like I need a new plaything – I lost the one that I was playing with earlier………..
@ Stormy – Ooo…if dorky gets a tie, I want one too.
(p.s. – I think you ought to create an application form for all who desire one of your ties.
applicants will respond with their email address, preferred design & a 50-100-word description of the intended use of said tie.)
@Tina~ You haven’t lost him, he was taking a nap
@ meg – he could even hold off the most special ties for a once a year contest where to enter you have to send a picture of you actually USING the previous tie…..he could even have “Stormypoo” embroidered on the “special” ties
Wow, wore you out through just an e-mail workout…….I’m GOOOOOOOOOOOD!
DorkyGuy ~ “… there are 10 kinds of women in the world… Those who understand binary, and those that don’t.” Sorry to inform you, but you already told that joke! (It’s okay, I still laughed anyway.)
“Send me a tie too! I have a picture idea, just for you”
I don’t know I would be able to allow a bunch of women to “sully” my ties by putting their hands all over on them 
. . . Or maybe I could. . 8) Or not. . . 
(I’m confused!)
Sorry dude, I’m not going there! But I have received a request to fly SB’s with tie fetishes up to stay with me. The proposed itinerary is that they would go skiing, play with my ties, and at night hang out in front of the fire and tell Dorky jokes. (That’s dorky with a capital D) I wondered if you would like to be there just to defend yourself. On second thought
@StormCat~ It isn’t their hands I would be worried about…
@ dorkyGuy – apparently you haven’t experienced a woman with a tie fetish…..it’s the hands you have to watch the most………everything else is just there to distract you
Meg ~ Who said Dorky was getting a tie? Let him get his own G.D. tie!
Tina ~ How could Dorky experience a woman with a tie fetish when he doesn’t even own one worth fawning!
Wow! . . . I just realized that ties are almost as powerful as shoes.
(note the use of the word almost!)
Oh my, is comparing “tie quality” on this site equal to comparing…..neeeeevermind…….
@ Tina – “apparently you haven’t experienced a woman with a tie fetish…..it’s the hands you have to watch the most…” oh my god, you get it! Absolutely. The next time you’re at a bar or night club, be careful. Some gorgeous woman may just walk up, enchant you, and leave you, two-hours later tie-less and confused…
lol @ meg and the tie application form… which one of you is the lawyer again?
I am creating a new word and submitting it to the official fetish dictionary… “bureaucriphilia” a sexual fetish whereby the gratification is obtained from creating forms and documents.
@meg~ all in good fun, just giving you a hard time
@Tina~ you could be right… “I was sooo busy staring at her boobs, I didn’t notice her have me sign a new will and then fashion those six ties into a noose”
@Stormcat~ Too bad! I would have even learned to tie a bow tie for that special occasion.
@ Dorky – you seem to be trying to give everyone a hard time, including Stormy
@ Dorky – yes. I have bureaucriphillia as well as…please create another relating to tie-theft.
@Tina & Stormy re. “he could even hold off the most special ties for a once a year contest where to enter you have to send a picture of you actually USING the previous tie…..he could even have “Stormypoo” embroidered on the “special” ties
”
Love it. Please describe the ideal tie. I’m currently creating a website devoted to processing applications and need the information…
hmm… cleptocravatiphilia?
haha you are all nuts! I love it!
side note, must learn proper tie and bowtie creation.
I am glad to watch this you tube video at this web page, thus right now I am also going to upload all my video tutorials at YouTube site.
Dorky you forgot to close your tags…
Bow ties are a pain, but a single Windsor is quite easy…..@ Dorky, I LIKE IT!
@ meg: must be high quality silk, no synthetics……ummm…….classic patterns only, ones that will stand the test of time…….as far as color, ABSOLUTELY NO baby pink! I love a man who can pull off darker pinks, I just can’t STAND baby pink on a guy in general……can you think of anything else?
Ummm…I love a really high-quality woven silk tie…I saw a completely beautiful one–purple & silver & gold paisley…really muted.
@SKitty~ wow… you found something that causes me to feel shame… This is new to me… I don’t know what to do with these feelings.
@ meg: you’re making me drool on my keyboard…….
Trying something…
Keep those tags closed Dorky! [img]http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-sex024.gif[/img]
@Dorky – It happens to the best of us. I will admit I looked at my post and did a “Why is that bold I didn’t make it bold. I must be going nuttier than I thought.” Then I did the fun double post so yeah…
You are still a Dork King so we all all good.
gah, the blog won’t let me submit a closing tag… Can one of the blog gods please delete my “cleptocravatiphilia” post at 6:51 pm? It contains an unclosed html tag that is bolding everyone’s posts. Sorry all.
@Tina – that gets a +1 from me! Love the emoticon btw
Test
The Blog is freaking out a little bit, posts are doing vanishing acts.
Never mind ~ If the blog gods can fix it then we can unanimously promote them to Blog Gods
@ SKitty – everyone needs a little whipping now and again
@Tina – Agreed!
Dorky ~ try posting: test (close tag) test (open tag) test (close tag)
testtesttest
let’s see, are we still bold?
Ok beautiful blog girls, I need travel suggestions… There is a SB I am really hitting it off with, and we are planning a 3-day trip *somewhere*. I really don’t care where, and she wants me to decide. What are some places you girls have always wanted to visit? The only restriction is that it be in the Continental US (I don’t have a passport).
You don’t have a passport? Shame…….San Francisco or Seattle – you can enjoy the art and city life in each (they both have active an active night life) or stay natural (Redwood natural park or a fisherman’s wharf in either city). Plus both have temperate climates.
San Francisco sounds good… It has been a lifelong dream of mine to go down in the shark cages off the coast. Wonder if she’d enjoy that?
Just ask. Some women are cool with it, others it would freak them out.
@Dorky — I think she’d love San Fran…I just had a friend visit a guy there this past weekend and she said it was great…but kind of dirty..but then again we’re from smaller towns where everything is super clean, so what we deem “dirty” might be a bit off :p. Had a fun time regardless! If this girl is afraid of sharks though she might have to just wave you off from the beach
And Dorky, if it’s a lifelong dream of yours she should at least support you in doing it even if it’s not something she’s into. She can enjoy the coast and take pictures
And Dorky, if it’s a lifelong dream of yours she should at least support you in doing it even if it’s not something she’s into. She can enjoy the coast and take pictures from a comfortable distance
aaaaaaaaaand apparently I’m posting twice now……….
Also thinking about the Hershey resort in Pennsylvania. Their chocolate spa looks absolutely decadent. (chocolatespa.com) I am not so much into the spa stuff, but I figure most girls would love it
Ooooooooooooooh chocolate……………I’m drooling………………….but it depends on when you’re planning the trip – Pennsylvania this time of year? Eeeep! Chilly Willy!
Dorky. Hawaii.
But honestly .. U have NOT met her in person, right?
@Dorky — You sure know your spas!
@Dorky – you know where I’ve always wanted to go? somewhere in the US south-west. Like, lux-spa in Wyoming or Colorado…I’ve traveled quite a bit but I’ve never been to that area.
I lived in SF for 4 years,
I would not mind at all to live in there for the rest of my life.
Dorky,
U have been in here for 4 months ( I do not know… A few months),
U met in person… Let us say 10-15 girls? Had lunch/first meeting only. ?
And with none of them u r going away… U r going with someone u have never met in person ?
Please please correct me if I am wrong and do not understand something.
But none of many many girls were good enough to travel with her after the first meeting? So u were some how been disappointed in them after u met in person.
And this one u 100% sure u will not be disappointed ?
@NewYorkGirl ~ no, I haven’t… but I know all the travel safety suggestions, etc. I hope to have time to meet her in her hometown prior to the trip. In either case, if we meet and don’t have chemistry, I am glad to provide her with her own suite, and glad for her to enjoy the trip as friends, or provide her with a way back home. I don’t think it will go that way though… My luck has been extraordinarily good lately. A lifetime of building good karma is paying me back!
@NewYorkGirl ~ Most of the local girls I have talked to are unavailable for travel due to schedule/kids/etc. It is entirely possible I will be disappointed, or that she may have misrepresented herself. It happens. She may not like me. That happens too. But I am not so invested in it that I care all that much. The worst thing that can happen is we don’t have chemistry, and I still get to enjoy 3 days somewhere away from work by myself. That sounds heavenly in its own way.
Dorky – you can’t discount Karma. But, is she ok going away with you if you haven’t met? Us SBs have travel safety suggestions as well, and it would be a shame to have a potential GREAT thing tarnished from rushing it past either of your comfort levels. After all, if it’s a lifetime of good karma that’s helping this budding relationship, a few meetings before going away wouldn’t hurt anything at all.
@Meg — You’re not missing much in WY, unless you wanted to go to a touristy spot like Jackson Hole. The rest of the state is….flat…with lots of tumbleweeds. CO on the other hand, is BEAUTIFUL! Definitely worth visiting! Western MT is really gorgeous too. You’ll have to try and make it out west sometime…western SD is actually really pretty too.
@Dorky~ Going away with someone you have never met, that is scary a little… well, it would be for me
As for where to go: When do you plan on going? Right now, lots of places in the north are cold and with snow… There is FL or New Orleans… it’s nice and warm. Hawaii always amazing.. Cali, SF is really beautiful and there’s a lot to do (and it is cold there, well colder than South cali), San Diego, LA, OC and the likes are nice too…lots to do and the weather has been great according to some friends.
Go somewhere you want to go, if it’s SF then go there!
Ooooh Beach_Girl, I can’t believe I forgot about New Orleans!!!
There are so many beautiful places in the US to visit… it all depends what you want to do
I think New Orleans would be awesome at Mardi Gras , what fun would that be?
I’m not a huge crowd / party person, so I’d like to see it during non-Mardi…..enjoy the culture without having breasts and penis’s rubbed against me (well, in public at least
)
@Tina ~ You are correct of course, and noted. She is probably well advised to insist on a first meeting, which I would be happy to oblige. I’ve mentioned to her several times that I don’t want to push anything past her comfort level, and she hasn’t made any indication that I have done so yet.
Any girl that I have ever known will tell you that I move glacially slow on the physical stuff. I like to take time to get to know a person first. There is a better than even chance that sex wouldn’t happen on the trip, even if she wants it.
@ContentSB~ Jackson Hole is the touristy spot of Wyoming? Wow… I have never heard anyone say “I can’t wait to go to Jackson Hole and see the…” umm… what does Jackson Hole have? Regarding Colorado… I grew up in Colorado Springs, right under Pikes Peak. I could walk to Garden of the Gods. Stunning beauty.
@Beach_Girl, We are still a couple months out… it depends on my work schedule lightening up. It is a little scary… and also an adventure. Would you feel more secure traveling for a first meet if he provided allowance up front so that you would have money to get home if needed?
@ Dorky – I have a feeling that you’ll be just fine. Enjoy getting to know each other!
@Dorky — You’ve never heard of Jackson Hole?! It’s a ski resort…totally gorgeous…and really touristy…kind of comparable to Vail. If I’m going to hit the slopes you can be absolutely sure I’m going to MT where the mountains are just as big and beautiful, but the lift lines are never longer than 5 minutes. Absolute bliss!
@ Dorky~ I haven’t traveled to anyone for a first meet, ever… I would think that if I had my own accommodations, flight to and back all in my name and yes some allowance, I think it would be fine! Also, communication before hand is key and I think you have done that…
If you don’t have time to travel away with her, if she’s not in your city, maybe invite her there … if you are busy she could visit by herself and do other things.. i’m sure your city offers some fun stuff to do. just a suggestion
Want to hear something totally tragic? I grew up in the mountains of Colorado… driving distance to Vail, Breckenridge, etc. And I have no idea how to ski. I sure can hike though!
@Beach_Girl: knowing the area Dorky is in, yes, there are some amazing things to do there. That is a great idea, and an interesting question for the SBs on the blog: what do you prefer – the SD come to you, or you go to the SD for a first meeting?
@Dorky – I grew up in Louisville, KY and have never been to the KY Derby…….it’s part of not taking advantage of something that you grow up with, since you’re almost immune to it.
Dorky~ also, if you are going in a few month, may or june, you have many other places to visit. DC, NYC, I don’t know all the letters for the states so … There’s Chicago, Jersey (yes, there are nice places in NJ) the Carolina’s , Virginia, New Mexico…
And why don’t you have a passport???
@ Beach_Girl: my question exactly
Dorky… I understand u r Dorky,
But ” sex will not happen on the trip even if she want it”
U have gone too Dorky .
Sorry if u would perceive my posts as rude one (but u know me, I mean good)
Dorky , u pay D membership for a few months, u did a lot of this hi tech stuff for the site, u met some SBs…. And u did not have sex with any SB?
?
For
@Tina — When I met my former SD for the first time, he came to me. It was ok, but because of where I live we ran out of things to do quickly (and the fact that he was here for 3 nights probably didn’t help either). So, in retrospect I wouldn’t have minded meeting him on his turf, but of course only if I had a way out and …my own accommodations, flight information, allowance beforehand, etc.
Why is this blog all fucked up???? it’s annoying me lol.. sorry, had to get that off my chest lol
Tina~ I have visited a few places in the US, there are amazing places to go to… I would rather… can I say that, I rather ??? omg a blonde moment here… I would want them to come to me, but if I was comfortable and knew I had things in my name, felt safe, some allowance, and that the communication was clear, yes, I would go!
Dorky~ I live in the great white north and I hate winter!!! I am a beach girl at heart, love the sun and water! I use to live in Cali, maybe one day I’ll live there again… if work permits
And please get a passport , it takes only 20 min in some post offices and it good for 10 years.
Going to sleep now , good night everyone.
Your passports are good for 10 years !!!! omg, that is awesome!
No excuse Dorky, you need your passport
@NewYorkGirl~ The answer is simple… because I am not here for sex
Or at least not primarily for sex. There are other things much more important to me. I am completely missing the “casual sex” gene. In order to go to that level, I need to at least feel like we have the fundamental basis for a long-term friendship.
@Beach_Girl, the blog being messed up is my fault. *SUMMONING THE BLOG GODS*… can you please delete my post from 6:51 pm with the html tag that isn’t closed?
Good for 10 years as an adult, I can’t remember if it’s 3 or 5 years for under 18…….
And here we all thought Dorky was harmless……he has the power to affect the entire blog with a single keystroke! So ladies, what super dorky hero name shall we give him?
Dorky~ sorry, it’s just annoying, when I posted before my post was way up (in the scroll) I was confused by the responses after me for a minute lol… coz i’m tired lol…
Tina~ here, it’s only good I think for 5 years, but you need to get it done 6 months before it expires or else you can’t go to the US for 6 month or something stupid like that.. mine is actually due, it expires in Nov 3012
HAHAHHA I meant 2012….
Well, I’m a US citizen, so I think they’ll allow me to travel here
Well my lovelies it has been a wonderful time as usual, however, my work week starts tomorrow and 4am is…..well, 4 hours away.
Good night all!
@Tina, I think Beach_Girl gave me the perfect super hero name… “Blog F**ker Upper”.
@Beach_Girl, I know what you’re thinking… If I get a passport, I’ll have to make my way to Canada eventually
I would love that. Je voudrais avoir la chance de pratiquer mon français!
@Dorky — What if she like *really* wanted it…could you honestly say no?? Some girls can be quite seductive…I don’t think you could withstand the temptation lol
@ Dorky – that’s too much like Quicker Picker Upper (Bounty)…..you deserve something MUCH more unique…….
Dorky~ Oui!!! C’est super que tu parle Francais!! Et ma ville est merveilleuse en ete, tellement d’activite… Mais je parle tres bien l’Anglais
I didn’t say you were the blog f’er upper lol.. ok you did F it up… but, I didn’t know it was you
how about …. fruit loops? hahhah sorry just watch the Big Bang lol
Tina — I think someone once referred to him as “Computer God.” That might be worth using again haha.
Tina~ ahhahah Bounty lol…
@ ContentSB, I’d be afraid that would build his ego too much…..
@ Beach_Girl: I’d be afraid that would destroy his ego too much……
Ummmmm “Blog Man”? “Sticky Fingers”? keep’em coming! GAAAH! WAAAAAY past my bedtime! night night! Really!
I forgot that you need a passport to get from the US to Canada. Tells you how much I travel.
As for the whole would I travel to an SD. If I was provided my allowance AND an open ticket home so I could leave when I wanted in case of trouble. For the where to go thing, ask her. She might have a dream location that none of us could think of. Me personally would be happy almost anywhere having not traveled much.
Wow… another few hundred comments about… ties? The ties don’t make the man, the man makes the ties…
@Dorky, please don’t choke the blog with unclosed tag and incite mayhem in the future…
As for your upcoming excellent adventure with a blind date, I’d suggest you go visit her and do fun things close to where she is, if she lives somewhere interesting. Spa suggestions in the continental US… Mii Amo in Sedona, Ten Thousand Waves in Santa Fe, The Spa at Madarin Oriental in Miami, The Spa at Amangani in Jackson, Mud Bath at Solage in Calistoga, and close to where you grew up in Colorado Springs… The Spa at Broadmoor, just to name a few.
Dorky ~ I would suggest Austin TX in march for the S X SW music festival. They have like 50,000 bands for a week. Take in part of the festival then head for Corpus and enjoy the beach. If you like spa life and great food Stay at the Grove Park Inn in Ashville NC. Another wonderful destination is Charlston SC. Gorgeous architecture and rich in history. If you like Natural wonders you can’t beat Yellowstone Park.
@Stormcat — Have you ever been to SXSW? I know quite a few people who go for the Social Media part of it. The consensus seems to be it’s a pretty huge party with some learning lol.
SXSW is HUGE, as is ACL Fest. Media attention and celebs galore, especially at SXSW, if you’re into that. some major bands play SXSW as surprises each year…….
RE: Valentines Day
But got kind of used to it now, so I don’t expect anything this Valentines. Hope the rest of you have a lovely day though and get to do something special 
I have been rather unlucky in my life and have never done anything on Valentines….I’ve never been given a card/gift/flowers either!!
@NewYorkGirl
I’m flying over right now, meet you on Madison Ave. …do you think they’d let me touch them? Probably asking too much right?
@Meg
Thanks I’ll check out EstablishedMen, and you’re right about having better chances with classified ads, it’s definitely an interesting idea, I shall think about it!
@DaddyGT
Thankfully it’s all pretty much cleared in London by now. Haha but I love that “the wrong kind of snow”, I’m using that in future
You have to be carefully with curves, go too fast and you’ll slip over the edge
Though, in regards to the fig leaf, you could argue it was the worst thing to happen in fashion, as it was added onto paintings/sculptures by…well…idiots, around the mid 1600′s who decided the nudity in the originals was inappropriate and needed to be “censored”.
They ended up ruining a lot of great art… but this is my fine art upbringing making a scene, I’ll stop now! Let’s just go back to pencil skirts
I think I’d like Harrods if I never had to actually go into the shop, haha.
@Babydoll
You’re an angel, can’t wait to see you this weekend – fingers crossed! Haha…but no more Italian/Brazilian studs okay? Will find some nice refined gentleman okay? ;D
@SouthernCharm
I recently watched Sex and the City (the movie…personally I think it’s pretty ridiculous but…) there is a scene in which Carrie for Valentines, make’s sushi, then lays naked on a table and arranges it on herself, waiting for her man to walk in the door. I looooove sushi so I really want to try it myself…though keeping myself from eating it will be difficult
If your SD doesn’t like Sushi you could try and find out his favourite edible thing which it could work with!
Otherwise, look at the link SD Guru sent you!
@DorkGuy
Just wanted to say I love 7 Brides for 7 Brothers, and I’ve never met anyone else who’s watched it! …Got that song in my head now…
@SKitty
Agree with you completely on the attractiveness of a well dressed man! It’s something I miss about living in Milan, if you have urges to drag off well dressed men then I suggest you never go there as you will mostly likely be arrested.
@Kindred
Who is this bitchy girl who you think got barred?? I’m riddled with curiosity. There was one blogger on here who I didn’t particularly like & who hasn’t posted in a while…but I don’t want to say just in case, haha.
ER.
Omg. Such a big mistake! it is not Carrie who did sushi thing but Samantha.
I am waiting outside of CL boutique for you already, please harry up.
Aloha, sugars! Happy Wednesday!
@EnglishRose – I know which scene you are talking about! It’s Samantha though and the idea is fabulous! Thank you! The wheels in my head are turning at super speeds and I may just be able to pull it off…keeping my fingers crossed!
Also, with regards to your experiences with VDay, I read a phenomenal article that talks about how VDay is one of the “holidays” that is pretty much guaranteed to make a good percentage of the population totally miserable. The article goes on to discuss how VDay is overrated and advises single people to use this day to fall in love with themselves, take inventory of their life and all the great things going on in it. Give your best girlfriend a hug and tell her how much you love her. Treat yourself to something fabulously sexy. There’s no law that says you can’t be your own Valentine
And don’t give up on your SD search, you should always have standards but at the same time keep your options open – and with your contagious, positive attitude, I’m sure your dream SD is around the corner, I just know it! 
Good morning sugars! Sounds like we need a “travel destinations” blog topic!
I love the idea of the concert and southern Texas. I had the best oysters EVER in Corpus Christi! TN has a lot to offer from mountain hiking to Nashville and the weather will be perfect Mar/ April (with rain potential though). I agree with staying south, but I prefer the warm weather. St. Augustine/ Amelia Island would be beautiful that time of year too. I tend to avoid traveling to the west coast unless it’s for a week or more. The time change and travel time can eat up trip hours quickly…especially if there are any travel delays/ complications.
Very important – allow for some down time away from one another… even if you’re having a good time. Offer her some time alone at the spa or just a few hours to take a break, regroup and do some things she may want to do. It’s tough to spend a solid 72 hours with someone you just met.
ER – I’ve watched 7/7 a few times on tv and an off-broadway show! I LOVE the theater!
About traveling.
One pot SD wanted me to fly to London last week for 3-4 days. He travel a lot but does not live in London.
I did not ask him anything about the financial part but he wrote.
He wrote me he would buy me tickets, hotel – he was assuming I stay with him for these a few days. And he wrote in his e mail something like “I buy tickets, pay for all events, dinners we go in London, but no allowances since it is our first meeting and the idea is if we click I will provide, take care, support you for long time, for many years….” blah… Blah…
I did not know if I would go or not… But luckily all this snow and flights delays helped me with decision.
The thing is I have never asked him about allowances and he wrote he would not give me any. But he was clearly expecting intimate relationship during my visit. It was so cheep (I think ) to write ” no allowances”.
I would have invested more than him in this “project”
I would miss my job (- 600$), my hair, wax…etc (- 400$) + many many hours suffering in the air plane.
I wish guys would understand that girls invest much more in a date than they r.
You just need 1 good tie (ok Stormy needs 100 of them) , 1 pair of good shoes, 1 bottle of shave creams, pay $100 for a meal.
And girls need 200 objects to feel and may be look good (to start with eye pencils, mascara and finish with 4 pairs of boots, 15 pairs of shoes , a few coats and everything also to match).
Even then NC gent pays 100-150$ for his dinner date -she already invested in this date much MUCH more than he. She got new stockings, new perfume, she is wearing heels and might need to change this small heels $20 (not sure how it is called), her make up things cost more than $200..just a few things to mention. And she has to say “thank you” for intertaining HIM during his meal. ?
May
be mothers can teach guys about that?
Hi NYGirl — I am going to assume it is a language barrier that made it appear that you are calling me out. I would also like to clarify that those dates were made on WYP with agreed upon amounts. Also, they were very casual lunch dates not dinner dates as you suggested, and I am 100% certain that these women didn’t invest that much in preparing for the date. I am also sure these women didn’t feel like they were taken advantage of, because they all wanted to see me again. There are also several women on this blog that will attest that I have been properly trained; however, it actually was my aunt and not my mom who taught me. Finally, “thank you’ for not directly targeting me in the future.
NewYorkGirl – I know there is a tremendous gap in maintenance costs between NY and the Midwest, but I feel like the expense is inflated.
I get my hair done every 6 weeks, not every date.
I get my nails done every 3 weeks, not every date.
I have my favorite clothes/ shoes in my closet every day… I don’t buy new clothes for every date.
I have my favorite make-up already, so I don’t purchase new make-up for every date.
I don’t tan
I own a razor, hair products, etc. Waxing is a special treat or done when we go on an extended beach weekend.
My estimated monthly maintenance expenses are much lower than the $400 you quoted. I would not recommend sharing your maintenance expenses with a gent as it could be a serious turn-off. This is up to you to manage…not him. You want to look good all the time…not just for your SD. If it does not fit in your regular budget, then perhaps there are compromises.
Now, if I”m taking time off work that is unpaid, then I would share that with my SD, or just ask to meet on a time when it doesn’t affect my income. If he is providing me with an allowance already, then I try to find the middle ground. Part of what he is covering is to give me the freedom from work to enjoy myself.
Content ~ I’ve been twice and had planned on making it an annual pilgrimage but alas this year is out for me. I love to hit the off the beat forums where you are hearing and meeting the performers up close and personal. I mostly like the coffee shop Indy culture there but whatever you like you can find it.
Midwest ~ Mmmmmmmmmm . . . Oysters
ER, NYG, SC ~ Mmmmmmmmmmmm . . . Sushi Mmmmmmmmmmmmm . . . On a naked woman! All three of you! Okay . . . cold shower time!
English Rose ~ Oh darling say it isn’t so! The world was blessed when you were born! I can’t imagine that you didn’t have a thousand suitors every Valentines day with flowers and chocolate and champagne!
Jenniebug ~ Are you anyone’s Valentine this year!
Ok beautiful blog girls, I need travel suggestions… There is a SB I am really hitting it off with, and we are planning a 3-day trip *somewhere*. I really don’t care where, and she wants me to decide. What are some places you girls have always wanted to visit? The only restriction is that it be in the Continental US (I don’t have a passport).
Nooooo not San Fran!!!!! It’s all cold and rainy this time of year
Why not somewhere like Santa Barbara?
Wow! So much to read and I have no attention span! What’s a girl to do?!?
Morning everyone!
NC gent u were doing this WYP dates , so u wrote about your example (not calling you out) but thank you for ur input and opinion, I am sure ur ladies were happy with you).
Midwest . I did exaggerate things a bit for better understanding
)
I tell you a secret ( does NOT mean at all any guy have to pay for my expensess ! I live with no SD just fine, and better than fine) . My leaving at UES at least 5.000$ a month – this is a surviving minimum.
This is NOT exaggeration this is minimum .
I will think and re read your post and answer you more.
Of course write this stuff to a pot a turn off, and I do not. Since there are no my pots on this blog… I let myself do it. Thank u for u post for me, and everything I do for myself (dressing up, make up…) to FEEL better and good myself (not for guys).
My point actually is guys feel / think they investing in a date! by paying for meal …
I think we invest more – time, make up…. Missing yoga / gym class then go on a date.
Midwest , do u think it is fair if he pays for air tickets (even 1000$)
It is normal to write no allowance (but expect sex 3 times a day, and I even do not know if I would like him). Yes, traveling is a big subject .
Where’s the naked sushi party??
Re: cost of getting ready for dates
I’m sure it takes time and money for SB’s to get ready for their sugar dates. But does the same consideration apply when they get ready for a regular date or a girl’s night out??
NewYorkGirl – I think the gent should cover all travel expenses…including what you do on the trip. The expense of getting together should never come out of the allowance. I also believe that a gent should meet me first before I travel to see him. Only once have I agreed to meet someone while traveling, but he covered my travel expenses and I spent 90% of the time with my friends and family. We met for coffee, then agreed to a long distance arrangement after. All of my arrangements have included an allowance. None of them required the x days for x money conversation. I don’t equate amount of intimacy to allowance.
I do believe this man was thinking more like a travel daddy…travel expenses, maybe a little gift, spa, shopping, intimacy, but no allowance. It sounds like he is including you in his “all expense paid” business trip… he is writing off the expenses with the exception of your plane ticket. I see the practical side of this, but also feel like it’s too convenient. He won’t respect a woman who “tags along”. I’ve seen it happen more than once. Many women agree to this because it is what they seek or are a) not comfortable with an allowance b) cannot muster the courage to have the allowance discussion or c) naive. I can’t imagine that someone who is genuine about providing an allowance would ask you to visit with a test drive. Personally, I would not accept his offer based on his approach. I have joined SDs on business trips, but only after we have met a few times and we have enjoyed regular weekends together as well…and only if it’s a destination I would enjoy on my own.
I’ve always wanted to go to Hawaii and California. There is always Bermuda which is fantastic!! If you take a cruise you don’t need a passport, but, you do need an EDL (Enhanced Drivers License) at the very least to travel. Anytime you fly across borders you have to have a passport unfortuately.
Now, if you really want romantic and cozy and you don’t mind cold weather I suggest Quebec City. Stay at the Chateau Frontenac. They have a fantasic bar, rooms over looking the Saint Lawrence , good food and a great spa. You never have to leave the hotel if you don’t want to, but, there is so much to do there. The museum is amazing, they have a toboggan run right outside the front door and of course shopping. If you go you have to try the Caribou. I was just there for winter carnival and it was an absolute blast and so romantic! In all honesty, I had more fun in Quebec than I did in Bermuda, but, I really don’t mind the cold and when you get back from walking around in the cold weather it just makes the first drink that much better
. We walked around in a feakin’ blizzard and I had the time of my life. SO MUCH FUN!! THE BEST TRIP EVER!! 
Well, I guess the cat is out of the bag now!! LOL
Some of that came out wrong…
I realize that there is an expense to having a suite or second hotel room instead of a single room, providing a non-refundable plane ticket, additional meals, and the treats that come along with the trip. However, if you’re planning on providing an allowance, it is not gentlemanly to “dangle the carrot” so to speak. Provide the allowance if you agree to enter an arrangement….period. If you have no intention of providing an allowance, then be clear about it. There are different arrangements for different sugars.
I stumbled on an idea for SBs last night… Never heard it suggested. I wonder how well received it would be?
Two of the problems SBs have are picture collectors and building a wardrobe. Why not use the one to accomplish the other?
Set up a wish list with your favorite clothing/lingerie store. When a guy asks for more pictures than really needed, suggest that if he were to purchase something from your wish list, you would be glad to send a photo of yourself wearing the item.
Sure, not everyone will bite, but some will. Heck, I can think of several sbs that I would do that with just for fun.
Plus it seems like a potential screening tool for his means and sincerity.
Am I missing a downside?
Awesome idea DorkyGuy! It’s a lot like the site where men put funds towards breast implants if a girl talks with them
I’d be willing to create a wish list…then model the clothes (within reason).
This is a world of immediate gratification….guys may not be patient enough to wait for that next picture if she makes him wait until she gets her gift.
DG ~ Awesome Idea! Sounds like fun for both the SB and SD!
@Dorky — Sounds fun! Plus, it serves as a screening tool for him too…it ensures he’s looking at recent pictures to avoid a girl misrepresenting herself via outdated photos. Where can I sign up for this?
Totally agree with you @Midwest. I spent 72 hour straight with my former SD, and I couldn’t WAIT to have some time by myself; I was actually relieved when he left. We should have done things differently because that much together time is just too intense, especially right off the bat.
DorkyGuy, I’m so jealous of this new girl/travel companion you met!! Good for her, and you, and I look forward to hearing how it goes (if you feel cool about sharing later, of course).
I have done this, met a man off SA for the first time for a trip for pleasure (emailed alot beforehand)…and we had a lovely time together, sight-seeing and conversing. He was like you in being very respectful, not pushing anything at all, and it just so turned out that we did not have sex at all on the trip. It was to “get to know each other” and see the sights/relax together kind of deal. He paid for my plane ticket/room/meals, and while it would have been nice to have been given a little cash for fun, it was not expected so no worries.
This trip was for two days and I happen to be an independent traveler (and for-fun photographer) anyway, so I didn’t worry if meeting him could be a waste of time. He turned out to be the gentleman I had the gut feeling that he’d be when communicating by email, and we didn’t push to make it into more. NSA, no stress, lots of laughs and even some mutual cuddling! Just fine with me and him, as it’s different for everyone.
It sounds to me that you have been doing everything “in the book” right to make it comfortable for her, and I just hope she is independent enough not to be the “clingy” type. Midwest is right that it can be nice to have a breather for some hours, then meet up later with stories of what you did when apart (take in a museum, bikeride, etc).
* DorkyGuy, I’d be happy to communicate more regarding a positive first-meet-travel experience off the blog or answer any questions/give tips from my personal experiences. Also, what you mentioned about going physically slow-but sure with really knowing a person first really struck a chord with me. If you give the blog gods the “okay”, they can share my email with you.
I guess my positive first-meet-while traveling stories are an exception, considering all the feedback so far? Perhaps, and it’s also an individual preference. I can meet him before traveling at my home-town, sure, but it wouldn’t bother me in the slightest to do all my own research of where we’d be meeting if I had a very good feeling about him. Even if meeting at the airport went horribly wrong (like he didn’t show, or was an ass), I’d be off on my own, no sweat.
I simply recommend that SBs don’t do it if they are not 100% comfortable traveling on their own, in case the unfortunate, hopefully rare chance they end up on their own. Research everything for your own comfort (and excitement)! Have a backup plan. Etc.
My most important tip is to trust your gut feelings, 100%. No doubts, period.
Peace out.
Dorky.
Great idea,
And so good i posted the shoes yesterday ( are from my list. )
Please send them to me and you get my picture wearing only them.
(r u sure now you still want to do this …. Or it is kind downside ?
)
And please one pair for Eglish rose – she just too shy to ask you
) right? ER?
Lol…the first date travel story is … pretty much how I got into the sugar-bowl.
Meg – Interesting, although somewhat inaccurate, reflection of those you mention in your blog about those of us on this blog. It’s just opinion, so no worries.
DorkyGuy – Still vying for the ability to exchange e-mails through your updates
@DorkyGuy
That is a good idea. Years ago, I met men who told me that they thought I’d be beautiful if I would just have a little plastic surgery, but not one of the basteards ever offered to pay for it. That’s not say I’d ever have facial plastic surgery, but if you’re going to recommend that someone ungergo a very expensive procedure like cosmetic surgery or model clothing(clothing can be expensive)for pictures then you should be willing to finance it. In other words, put up or shut up.
@Midwest~ I would love to do it, but it’s not possible right now… I had a chat with the head Blog Diety, and he seemed open to providing me with access to do some of these things… just timing isn’t good right now. Hoping that in a month or two I’ll have more time to improve blog features. Maybe one of those features would let girls link their wish list? hmmm!
@Babydoll~ Can you please contact me on my profile? #342017
@EnglishRose~ 7 Brides is one of my all-time favorite movies. It would never get made today. it would never make it past the feminist screeners.
@KindredSpirit~ Would love to talk to you more about this off-blog! Blog Gods have my blanket permission to share my email with whomever, but it might be faster to contact me through my profile #342017
@stormypoo- no current Valentine … but I have a verry special guy in mind this year. I’ve seemed to talk to him alot lately. He rawks!
@Dorkyguy- There are alot of great cruises running promotions that would be fun for a first sugar date. Last year a potential SD and Iwent on one going out of Florida. We had so much fun.
@englishrose – I shall remember that and if I do ever find myself there lets hope I can behave…
In my world there is no Valentines Day. It is pre half price chocolate day. Much more fun!
@ Midwest: re. “Interesting, although somewhat inaccurate, reflection of those you mention in your blog about those of us on this blog. It’s just opinion, so no worries.”
Thanks – Good point! On reflection, the post was primarily about SBs I’ve met off-blog, rather than on-blog; but comments made by one individual on the SA blog simply reminded me of that. I’ve edited it, and will be more careful (and not refer specifically to SA or individuals who use this blog) in the future!!!
SKitty ~ What a great point. Note to self: Stock up on all the best chocolate at post Valentines day prices than offer it to the highest bidder along with a chance to sully my tie collection.
Re. linking my blog so people could contact me – meant SBs [particularly anyone new to the sugar bowl & in need of a safety/advice buddy] & thought it’d save the blog-gods the hassle of passing on email addresses…if that should come up].
I have a profile on SA, so not trying to circumvent the site!
@Southern Charm/New York Girl
Let us know if you through with it!
Thank you for your contagious positivity as well! Now doesn’t that glass look better half full?
Oopsie! Meant Samantha of course – just shows how much I watch the programme!
And glad you like the idea Southern
Thanks for the encouragement, I shall certainly enjoy time with me, myself & I this Valentines
@Stormcat
I need a cold shower just thinking about sushi….mmmm.
Haha, bless you, aren’t you charming? I feel a blush creeping on…but no, honestly – nothing ever! It’s a little sad, but I shall pretend I do have thousand of suitors & they’re all just so dazzled by my beauty and charm that they don’t dare come forward, haha
@SD Guru
I’m saving that picture as reference.
@Dorky
It shouldn’t be but “Sobbin Women” is my favourite, haha.
Damn feminists. I for one would not be screaming about my equal rights if a bunch of young virile brother’s stole me away up into the mountains
I love this idea of an SB wish list! There is likely to be a lot of men who scoff at the idea but..well, you’re probably right that it would be a good screening technique.
Downside…you could have a very nice potential SD who is completely genuine but is leaning towards the more cautious side, and might think you are being greedy/gold digging, and will be put off.
But that’s not a great risk I suppose…
Oh my..thinking of wish lists:
http://www.agentprovocateur.com/nightwear/dresses-skirts/info/thora-dress~grey–red
It’s the back of the dress that made me fall in love with it, I think DaddyGT will like this
@NewYorkGirl
…Not a very good SB am I??
Haha…I am far too shy! I certainly wouldn’t say no but you shall have to do the asking for me
@Midwest
Ah, theatre! Don’t even get me started, I’m actually an aspiring Musical Theatre Actress (I know, what a cliche) but it’s a consuming passion, I would love to see 7/7 in theatre!
I think the main thing on my wish list would be to find a Sugar Daddy who could teach me how to create wealth the way he did, and of course partially, at least, finance some of that wealth creation. Once you get so old, the men(rich and poor)just lose interest so having a good amount of money of my own some day would be nice. I think a Sugar Daddy should act as a type of mentor as well.
ER
Did you try this dress on?
Try it , take picture in AP amazing fitting room and mail it to me.
The dress is sexy , good to show up for SD date .
But I do not know if you would be able to go out for a drink first? coz it is too sexy for many bars /restaurants?
Have a funny story. one time I went for a date with one SD in a very very sexy Moschino suit. And he was like let’s go for a drink in a hotel cross the street first (he has an amazing apartment at Times Squire (just above the M&M store) and I said I could not. There were no way I could take off my coat (mink coat) off at any public place – it was so open in front and I did not have anything underneath . so had to drink whatever we had in his apartment .
Good evening fellow bloggers, hope all had a wonderful day so far. The conversation has taken an interesting twist………
@EnglishRose~ “Goin’ courtin’… goin’ courtin’… Dudin’ up to go and see your gal…” Ok, I am a little worried that I am a straight man and I know these songs by heart…
Are you more worried about your manliness or your straightness? And I wouldn’t worry too much about it – if Hugh Jackman can play Wolverine and also do Oklahoma, I think you’re good to go
@Tina ~ Don’t even get me started on Sound of Music! “You need someone… older and wiser… telling you what to doooo…”… Should I put that lyric as part of my profile?
Oh most definitely Dorky dear! You’ll bring all the boys running!
[img]http://s018.radikal.ru/i508/1202/f1/cec5f502519a.jpg[/img]
ER… Just trying to inspire you
Aww, so purdy!
@NewYorkGirl
No I haven’t, I have this feeling they won’t have it my size though, particularly, the er…cough…upper chest.
It is very very sexy, ideally if I could buy this I would have it adjusted so it covers the chest a little more (a border of red silk perhaps?) which means I could wear it out. …But maybe a border of red silk that is removable,
….Okay, enough fantasising!
I love wearing lingerie under large coats, I know it’s not very original but it’s always fun! I’m sure your SD was pleased
@Dorky Guy
Doing a little dance……Don’t stop, don’t stop!
“Well, a Roman troop was ridin’ by, and saw them in their “me oh my”
Not too sure if you should write “doooo” in your profile, haha, but otherwise it’s good ;p Haha… now for some reason I can’t stop envisioning you singing…
@Tina
Heehee…all the boys running.
@NewYorkGirl
Sigh of pleasure….ooo…beautiful. How did you know I’d like that eh? …Oh wait, because I’m a girl.
How do you post an image directly onto the blog by the way?
By the way, if Julie Andrews is ever looking for a sugarbaby, I’ll do it for free!
ER – Soooooo sexy! You and former blogger Cleo would be great friends as she loves AP! I love your taste in music and fashion!
SA meets Glee….yo de lady, yo de lady, yo de low….
I’m cool with it as long as dancing sheep marionettes don’t start running around the screen….
ER – I played a small role in Gianni Schicchi in my short musical theater career (along with a passion for baroque). I miss singing dearly, but now, I just stick to karaoke.
Curses on you all. Now I am going to have to watch musicals to get my fix!
For some reason… “I feel pretty and witty and bright…”
“and I pity any girl who isn’t me toooOOOOoooniiiiight”
I’m so jealous of you talented ladies who can sing and act! The only time I sound AMAZING is when I’m in my car alone…and of course nobody ever believes me. Go figure
I did go through a musical obsession phase in high school. My favorite was Aida, but sadly I’ll never get to see it
Adam Pascal’s voice still makes me melt. I was a figure skater for 12 yrs growing up and was part of a synchronized skating team (one of the coolest most under-rated sports ever! YouTube the “Haydenettes” sometime when you’re bored..incredible synchro team!!) and our footwork sequence was from Aida. Still one of my favorite routines, including individual ones!
See that pretty girl in that mirror there.
[What mirror? Where!?]
Who can that attractive girl be-ee…
such a pretty face, such a pretty dress such a pretty smile such a pretty…
@ ContentSB – Missy- if you can sing in your car, you can sing on-stage.
My musical faze lasted 5-20-ish. Joseph & the Amazing Techi-color Dream Coat, West Side Story, Jesus Christ Super Star, Evita. (my guess as to why I kept falling in love with closeted gay guys? They’d sing show-tunes with me while drunk in public…)
MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
@ ContentSB – I was also a figure skater until I started high school! Unfortunately, no team…that sounds like so much fun! (to watch and to do…)
Do you still skate in your off-time?
@Meg — Well…I *could* sing on stage…but it would sound pretty haha
and I’m ok with that…my car is the perfect stage for me!
Seriously laughed out and loud (and am still giggling) about your closeted gay men comment. Too funny!
@Meg — A fellow skater!!! I feel like we already have a bond other people just won’t understand lol! I don’t skate nearly as much as I used to…but I still love to get on the ice. I think it’ll always be one of the few things I can do to mentally escape and let my stress melt away, even if it’s just for an hour. I’m hoping to start coaching again in the fall. The club here is ISI affiliated, and I grew up with USFSA, so my levels aren’t really transferring well to this club. I’m planing on moving this summer, so hopefully wherever I end up the club will be USFSA sanctioned
Do you ever skate anymore??
@SDGuru – re naked Sushi -
The woman who wrote the vanity fair article on sugar dating also wrote an article on naked-sushi-modeling.
It was a one-time thing, I think, so assuming you missed it.
@ContentSB – absolutely agree!!
Unfortunately, now only rarely. I quit too early, went off to high school, then traveled a lot, so couldn’t keep up.
Swimming, bicycling and skating, though, are among the only things I can do and completely let my mind drift off…oh, and photography. You know, in that get in the zone kind of way.
@Meg — Exactly! It’s so nice to have a few activities you can rely on for a bit of an escape. I quit before my senior year because I was so drained. My coach was a Vietnam vet and did not relate well to teenage girls haha…so he and I got into quite often…and the sport just lots its appeal for me. Plus, it’s a year round sport, and I wanted to be able to enjoy senior year without having to always go to bed early for 5 am practices, then rush back to the rink after school for another couple of hours. I’m sure you understand! It just requires so much time and dedication!
Oooh…if only it wouldn’t have been creepy/illegal to have a SD back then…I could’ve had SO many more beautiful dresses for testing and competitions!!! That sport ruined me…I’m still a sucker for all things glitter, sequence, and jewels haha.
Content and Meg! I am a skater too.
Exactly- ice skating gives brain the needed rest.
And I am so in love with the coach Nikolay Morozov he is so sexy,
And he teaches only 30 mins away from Manhattan.
I used to party with him a lot but was too shy …. I have a few pics with him from world championship and OG in Canada .
ER. It is easy to post a picture. U can see the red “click here” at the bottom of this page.
I love AP and I was trying things on and took a few pics of me at this beautiful walls at AP
And just the wall. Lucky for everyone i posted here just the wall.
Good night.
))
Midwest… I am still thinking how to verbalize what i feel about the maintainence
@NewYorkGirl — I love it!! My male figure skater crushes are kind of odd…but I had a dream about Todd Eldredge that suddenly made him WAY sexy haha! Brian Boitano is another favorite…Alexei Yagudin…and of course Evan Lysacek…YUM! Male partners of pairs and ice dancing couples are always sexy too just because of the way they handle women! super hot!
Oh my god, so many figure skater-SBs. Lol…
I have a great blog-idea: a three-way debate between gymnast, ballerina, & figure skater as to who makes the best SB.
@meg — haha…and watch the claws come out!
I seriously admire gymnasts and ballerinas…they have insane talent! These 3 sports require so much grace and athleticism that gets overlooked so often. I love the phrase “If figure skating were easy it would be called hockey.”
Don’t dismiss the athletic talent of the lingerie football league
Dorky ~ “Don’t dismiss the athletic talent of the lingerie football league”
Now that’s an event that I don’t want to miss.
Hey maybe we can get Brandon to organize a Sugar Olympics.
Hmmm . . . What would be the events? Where would it take place? Who would be the judges? What prizes? Oh too complicated!
Its funny how some coeds think their time is so important. Yes, respectfully your time is important. But only if you know how to manage your time.
Follow me on Twitter @SGent2
Content.
I can not possibly like Lysacek coz in love love love Johnny Weir.
But I met Lysacek a few times and even present him a cap which says “Orgasm Donor”.
Girls from his fan club asked me to bring him a few presents , they mailed it to me.
And I do have Lysacek’ picture in this cap! Coz photography is one of my passions too.
I do not like too much any of russian skaters but I think Stephane Lambiel is the sweetest guy and fluid gold on ice.
Just received a $14.40 royalty check. Any pretty coeds want to meet me at Chick Fil-a for lunch?
SG2 ~ You have a new follow request!
Morning everyone! Time to catch up I suppose!
I can’t skate at all but I did show horses when I was a teenager.
@Midwest
I just love the 50′s style, it has an understated seductiveness to it.
Aw that’s a shame she’s not around, I don’t think I ever saw Cleo’s blogs.
But thank you
Haha, “An Arranged Musical” (all actors have benefited mutually from this production).
Aw, I really like Gianni Schicchi, it’s such a short simple opera but the message is nice, it’s about giving not taking!
….Though I suppose Schicchi came out on top.
I have to stop myself from singing all the time, & then take full advantage when I get the house to myelf!
Nothing wrong with a bit of karaoke
@NewYork
Oh yes, it’s says right below the comments! That’s easy – silly me
Ahhh..even AP walls are beautiful. I can’t stop looking through the website now, I think I’m going to have to find an SD who a fetish for expensive lingerie, haha
@Dorky
You don’t want football, you want a contact sport like rugby! …Oh wait…you mean American football, of course, never mind – ignore me! But I’m liking this idea, I’m very competitive
@Stormcat
Haha, Sugar Olympics, that would be fantastic. Why do I have a feeling they wouldn’t be able to show it in the day time though? Hm…
@Anna Molly
Show horses sounds like such fun, I’ve actually never ridden on a horse! Definitely on my to do list. Closest I’ve come is riding a donkey at the beach when I was about 9….not really the same I’m guessing?
Thanks Molly. Haven’t spoken to you in ages. How have you been?
Hey Rose!! Riding is so much fun! You should definitely try it!
Hey SG2! I’ve been well! It has been a while my dear! Sounds like you’re doing well!
Oh, you’re welcome, SG2.
Regarding Agent Provocateur…. Had a look at their website for the first time this morning… oh my god the lingerie is beautiful. Absolutely stunning. But wow, the prices. DaddyGT, I think I just found a good argument for monogamy.
Hey all, I’m back. Had a wee bit of room mate drama, so I cut those ties and got a place on my own. My first apartment, and I’m already going a bit over the top decorating it. Is it sad that I’d rather sleep on the floor if the rest of the place looks pretty, than just buy a bed set and wait on the decorating?
I skated when I was young, up until 12 or so, but then the rink shut down in my town and I ended up dancing. I do miss it though, and even tried to get back into it for a while. On that note, I have a huge amount of respect for gymnasts. I was in a technique class last year, and one of the girls was a National Champion rhythmic gymnast, she was RIDICULOUSLY flexible, her grand battement a la seconde… let’s just say I may have a lesbian crush at the same time that I’m rather jealous.
I do have a question for the gentlemen in the room though. Would you be okay with a SB that doesn’t have a car? I live in a major city, and can easily survive without one, my budget doesn’t allow for one, and my beast of a junker from back home didn’t pass the smog test -__-. I’m sorta embarrassed to say I don’t have one, should I just be up front about it or….
Also, for the ladies who don’t have a car; do you tell your Pots that? I just don’t want to come off broke, lol. I’m not at all, but I would be if I had a car!
@BalletDancer~ Instead of saying “I don’t have a car”, why not say “I don’t drive”? It communicates the same thing, but without the implication that you are broke.
I did gymnastics when I was young and danced til high school. I was really into horses and put more effort into that. I also really enjoy running and other sports.
@balletdancer I think it depends on your pot if you tell him or not. for example if you are going to fly to see him its not a big deal however if he lives an hour away by car then it would be something he would need to know. seeing how you live in a major city there should be a good sugar daddy who can accommodate you. it would be good though to hear opinions from SBs who have been in that position. I have a car since there isn’t good transportation around here.
I’ve heard that the only safe sex is over the phone but I’m not sure I believe it!
ER ~ I’m not sure they could even broadcast sugar olympics at all. I’m thinking about SB events like speed modeling, 50 yard runway walk, syncronized shopping, creative karaoke etc. I haven’t come up with any SD or couple events yet. You got any ideas?
@DorkyGuy
It’s a sad world where beautiful lingere is not freely donated to young, struggling women eh? I think I should set up a charity.
@BalletDancer
I don’t have a car! It’s funny you should mention it, I must admit I’ve never been embarssed in the slightest. Car’s are expensive! Insurance is atrocious for anyone under 25, fuel is even more expensive, I know my friend pays about £500/$800 every time she has an M.O.T
But then I hear that cars are a lot cheaper in the US?
But still, you’re an SB, a pot doesn’t expect you to be well-off, and any SD that looks down on you for being broke (even if you weren’t) isn’t worth his salt!
A sadder world is one in which “lingerie” is spelt incorrectly, sorry.
@EnglishRose~ Beautiful young women who cannot spell should attend special tutoring wearing said lingerie!
@StormCat~ SD Olympic Events: Opportunities for contest abound! Dapper Dressing; Wine/Meal matching; Jewelry evaluating; Gift wrapping, Jewelry box whittling, and the most important event would be the size of their silk tie collection.
ER ~ I’m sure no man cares how it’s spelt when you’re wearing it.
ER ~ when you wrote @BalletDancer I don’t have a car!
I thought you wrote “I don’t have a Carl”: and I thought to myself “wtf is a Carl? Some nickname for a common sex toy?”
OMG maybe I’m going to have to start wearing glasses!
Hey! What’s wrong with wearing glasses? lol
I wear glasses when I read.
Where do I buy tickets for the sugar lingerie olympics??
@DorkyGuy
Regarding Agent Provocateur…. oh my god the lingerie is beautiful. Absolutely stunning. But wow, the prices.
When Victoria’s Secret just won’t do, there is AP… and La Perla. Try to keep up!!
Ladies, which one do you prefer?
@BalletDancer
Would you be okay with a SB that doesn’t have a car?… I just don’t want to come off broke
It depends on where you’re located and whether it will cause problems with what you do with your pot SD. Not having a car doesn’t automatically convey that you’re broke. If you’re at a city where it’s common not to have a car, such as NYC and London, then it’s no big deal. But if you’re at a city where a car is needed to get around, then not having one could send up a red flag. SB’s with unreliable transportation can cause all sorts of problems for a SD, whether they have a car or not.
@Meg
The woman who wrote the vanity fair article on sugar dating also wrote an article on naked-sushi-modeling.
Yes she did. You can see a list of her articles on her web site. I wonder what’s the correlation between sugar dating and naked sushi…
Guru ~ I prefer to wear nothing, but, if I have to choose I would go with La Perla.
@Guru I agree with Anna Molly I wear nothing or just some cute panties. I haven’t experienced either AP or La Perla, but I do love some of the high end stuff Victoria Secret has.
Guru.
(it is a green smiley).
I love lingerie ,
To me to wear nothing is boring.
should I just email you my fav one? Just coz it is difficult to describe with my English.
La Perla or AP … Depends (yes, on a guy).
Some guys like lace (La perla or VS)
And some like the smooth feeling of satin/silk (no lace ) then you press your bodies
together…Then AP. The only important thing to remember NB: the garter goes underneath panties (put the garter before you put on panty or you have to redo everything and would be 20 min late).
Did I answer your Q?
)
OK, this is probably going to be long catchup post
@SD Guru
Yes, there are bad positions. I’d say anything that causes permanent muscle damage certainly falls into that category.
re:Valentine’s
My celibate self is staying at home. I’ve never been into Valentine’s though. I’ve always thought that having to show your affections on cue, once a year was a bit silly. Have never been able to get worked up about dinner in some otherwise nice establishment that has decided to go kitsch on the love theme, and is cramming dining couples elbow to elbow.
re:Valentine’s II
… and don’t forget ladies, March 14th on the other hand is Steak and BJ day. Hahaha!
It is a leap year though, so apparently it is OK for the lady’s to ask your man to marry you. Not sure how that would go down in the sugar world though.
re:Valentine’s Flowers
On this one day of the year, roses are so soooooo overpriced. One year, I’d just hooked up with a new GF. She intimated that sending flowers just a couple of weeks into us as a couple might be overkill. We did have an inside joke on spelling though. So I sent her a packet of FLOUR instead. To her workplace. She did bake me muffins with the flour, so all good on that front.
@PhoneGuy re:Bowties
My parents forced me to learn how to do up a bowtie. Thought it was rather silly at the time. Now I am thankful. Very thankful. That said, I have never been a fan of bowties with anything other than a Penguin Suit. They just look too
dorkynerdy otherwise.@Beach_Girl
You are so right. There is an amazing variety of vodkas. There used to be a great vodka bar in London. Just round the corner from Holborn Tube Station (Maybe the London SB can confirm whether it still exists). they had a huge assortment of vodkas from all over the world. Can’t recall the name, but worth a visit if you love vodka and are in London.
@Tina re:Wine
My general policy regarding alcohol is Stick with what you like, and what you know agrees with your temperament, instead of going with the flow all the time.
Oh, I have tried a lot of different wines. I just don’t like wine I suppose. On a related note, I have a similar aversion to champagne. Never liked it. A few celebratory sips are great, but champagne all night? Not my thing. Don’t mind at all if my significant other(s) are tucking into their wine and champagne though.
@Geeky SBs
You can talk nerdy to me all you want. Nerds tend to be smarter than the general population. Beauty and brains is an unbeatable combination. Just don’t wear your Spock ears to bed though.
@SKitty
@26 you are not in the unloved age range. If you were a few years older you would certainly fall into the “handle with caution” age though. I suppose though, that this being sugar, boundaries are drawn very early, and very clearly, so there should be no chance of either party interpreting a relationship wrongly.
on Ties + tie fetishes
And I soon learned never to wear a tie I was sentimental about on a night I would probably be heading out right after work! One girl I used to work with, would get the ties off every male in the group, spend the night wearing ties on various parts of her anatomy, and then distribute them back every Monday. Hilarious. Oh to be young again.
Ties are definitely a chick magnet. When I was younger we’d hit the bars and clubs regularly after work. On far more occasions than I care to remember, I would get back home without a tie. Can get very expensive though
@Tina, on Ties II
Men’s fashion is quite boring. Even when you get bespoke clothing, it is still quit boring. Particularly in a professional setting. Your tie is pretty much the only way you can really differentiate yourself in a way that stands out. I think most guys will feel the same way about turning up in the same tie as another guy, that women feel about turning up in the same outfit as another woman. Unless it is a black bowtie of course.
@DorkyGuy
I’ll add one more vote to the many voices that recommend getting a passport. You’ll have a lot more fun travelling to more than the 50 states. I recommend National Geographic’s Travel mag for amazing, luxury, and off the beaten path retreats.
@EnglishRose re:Valentines
Valentine’s day is all about sharing the love after all, no?
You have youth on your side. There’s loads of things I had never done @21 that I managed to make up for lost time on. Just enjoy the day. Better yet, buy a rose, and give it to some random bloke on the tube. Make his day. Bonus points if you give it to them just as you are getting off. You will certainly make their day.
re:Sushi on a girl
I’ve always thought that this makes a great centrepiece if I was hosting a dinner party. Not sure I would want my GF or SB (what’s the difference eh?) to be the one playing ‘sushi platter’. Just seems pointless to me. Me nibbling on sushi, trying not to choke on the rice, while she just lies there? Mmmm. Not quite my thing. Now, if my GF had an intimate dinner for two (or three), and sushi girl was a present for either or, then maybe.
@Midwest re:Oysters
Oysters are brilliant hangover cures. There’s a pub in Notting Hill in London that does them on Sunday morning. Oysters and Hoeggarden beer in the sun on a Sunday! Now that’s the life. Never liked oysters with champagne. But then again, never liked champagne.
Oysters, yumm!
@NewYorkGirl re:Cost of looking good
I think I would have to agree with Midwest SB. Not something you want to be mentioning to your SB. If you require an allowance before travel, then make it so. Once it gets to “who has invested more in this dinner, the SB or the SD?”, it is a very slippery slope to messy! And in the era of metro-sexual guys, don’t be surprised if his budget for looking good for you matches yours.
The of course there was an article not too long ago in one of the larger online magazines (Forbes? NYT? Atlantic?), about girls who were using OK Cupid purely as a way to get men to buy them free dinners. Different date every day of the week. No intention of ever dating the guys. Just using them for free dinners. Not tasteful.
I hope every involved in sugar is better behaved. You know what you want. Hold out for it. Don’t settle. But as Midwest SB, reducing a meet to your maintenance expenses being higher than his dinner spend would be quite the turn-off, particularly for date #1.
@English Rose
The dress is nice. Very whats-her-name-from-mad-men. I think more black, and definitely more one for an intimate dinner for two at home rather than a night at Zuma. Lingerie under coats? Mmm. Nice! Some SD will be really lucky soon.
@Dorky on Agent Provocateur
With prices like that, I agree, monogamy quickly seems like an appealing prospect. Now, given the alternative choice between working harder on the bu$ine$$, I think I be spending a few more late nights in the office
@Content SB – on singing
You are not alone. My entire family is musical. Except me. I do belt out a mean tune or two in the shower though. Now, if I could just replicate those shower acoustics in the real world, I’d be set
on SB Olympics
Must definitely be a summer games though. And given that it is 2012, London SBs have it. You’ll have to come up with a great events roster though.
@BalletDancer – on cars
I have to disagree with DorkyGuy. I’d be more enamoured by “I don’t own a car. I don’t need one here for my day to day life.” than by “I don’t drive”. Heck, your SD might offer to rent a car for you to make it easier to get to him. I suppose it is cultural though, and depends where you live.
For most of the time that I lived in London, I did not own a car. More trouble than it is worth. No parking. Expensive parking. A depreciating asset you never use. Etc. etc.. Most of the single and young people I know do not own a car. It is far far much easier to use public transport, and cabs, (and when you need it, to rent a one) than it is to own a car.
Not sure where you are though, so YMMV.
@DaddyGT – It seemed that age preferences were such that I was close to the “handle with care” category. My problem is I am being a little backwards/slow and didn’t do the fresh out of high school/new college student thing of going nuts. Now I am at the point where I want to be corrupted and I am having problems finding someone willing to corrupt me.
Happy News! I had a meet today with my pot SD (no sugar yet so not official yet) and there is potential for a weekend get away in the next month. That and I might have convinced him to corrupt me, we’ll see.
@English Rose I am going to get you some flowers for Valentine’s – Can I give them to you Saturday though, I will treat you to wine and tapas too.
@DaddyGT I will check if that Vodka bar is still there and report back.
What is it with the sugar bowl? It is now raining men and I can’t fit the Pots in my diary. One suggested taking me to AP as a first meet shopping expedition (I revealed I was a swimwear model in my student years) he is quite a ‘visual’ guy, is a lingerie shopping expedition as a first meet too weird or not?
This is a question for the foreigners on the site. Is Valentine’s Day celebrated in your countries?
Hmm, sugar Olympics… I wonder what the events would be for this? Would power shopping constitute as a sport for the games?
I think there should be a giant sa keroke party. I could imagine a whole bunch of sbs and sds all dressed in their favorite costumes, after a few drinks.
… I would care…. Naughty girls who cannot spell must be spanked! Especially the English ones. Speaking of which, the Castle Anthrax would make a lovely vacation destination.
That is why you are the guru, and I am just a humble understudy
@ Ballet Dancer.- I think just being honest. With a potential SD is the way to go. I would just say something like this. I don’t own a car,, I’m saving to buy one. I don’t want to set myself up with expensive monthly payments that i can’t afford, and driving a $500 beater is counter productive
Then I would go on to explain that if you found a good SD, one of your goals would be to get into a car. Of course I speek from expirence with this. A good SD will make travel arrangements for you to come see them, or come to you until you are into a car.
Ef wi Mispel on perpos dus dat kount?
@Nawty Molly yes I think it does count. Lol
That post took me awhile to decipher. After that, I jumped for joy. “I cracked code!!!.”
If you misspell on purpose, the spanking must be applied to the bare bottom… No padding for you!
Lol! You are going to be “Nawty” Molly to me forever now… That is awesome
@Emily- Yep, valentines day is celebrated in other country’s. Is it sad that Google that question to get a response?
Dorky.
U r going to spank ER and Molly?
@Brandon- I think we need a new blog topic. Once the posts reach over 500, my tablet starts acting up. This males it hard to type. Grrr…
@DorkyGuy
Good suggestion Dorky…the funny thing is, I went on the local college website & they don’t seem to have any of these special classes you’re talking about…quite disappointed.
@Stormy
Hahahahha, oh my, that made me laugh so much! But now you have uncovered a new hole in my life…I don’t have a Carl!
This is terrible news.
But at least I can get away with spelling langeray wrong right?
It’s so great being beautiful with no brains to trouble myself with!! Laa dee daa…
@SD Guru
I think between the two I’d definitely go for AP, it tend’s to be a little more “creative”.
@NewYorkGirl
Always panties over the garter belt! They always display it the other way round but, well, we know better right?
@DaddyGT
Are you thinking of Christina Hendricks? I have quite the girl crush on her….sushi & Christina Hendricks, now there’s something I couldn’t say no to.
RE: Flowers
I can’t believe how much they mark up roses for Valentines, personally I wouldn’t mind getting a different sort of flower, I don’t think men should feel they always need to buy roses.
But then again I just love flowers so much that I’m pleased with whatever I get
Love what you did with the flour, it’s great when someone you know make’s the effort to be original.
RE: Vodka Bar
Oh, and that vodka place? It wasn’t a small Russian Restaurant Bar, at the end of a street? Pomkin, potekin something? I seem to remember going to a place which I think was near Holborn – had over 150 different types of vodka, amazing!
RE: Valentines
I really like your idea of handing out roses to strangers – do you really think a guy would like this? He wouldn’t just be creeped out? Haha.
But yes – sharing the love indeed!
RE:Sushi on a girl
Hmm….I think I’m going to have to agree, I would find it hard just lying there watching my man eat the sushi as well! Maybe a third party would be…useful in this scenario.
RE: AP Dress
Glad you think so
@Dutch Girl
You know you are far too sweet? Really, you don’t have to get me flowers or treat me! Bless you, that’s so nice.
And you deserve every one of those Pots & more, can’t wait to see how it all pans out for you!
Heehee, Castle Anthrax.
Well, somebody has to… might as well be me
and it seems you need a good spanking too, for using “u r”
This is pretty close to my Castle Anthrax fantasy… “spank me!… and me! … and me!”
mis~spelling ~ haha that made me laugh,nawty molly
re~lingerie
@Englsih rose~the one person you have to speak to about this is my Sd,he shops till he drops online,sends them to me and i have a cupboard full dedicated to them,all of just the last 3 months!
blimey,if there will ever be that lingerie olympics,i would have more outfit change than the Queen haha
@dutch~aww you are sooo sweet,i hope i will catch up with you girls on Saturday if me and Sd wont go anywhere else after our lunch date xxx
having probs with my connection at my studio,couldnt get into anywhere on net
((( booo!!!
and ladies if an Sd would give you lingerie as a gift,would you be offended if he will give you something other than what you prefer?(brand.color)
for me,i think i wont mind as long as its my size and would look good in it…
Ugh, my dinner with a pot SB was cancelled by her 11 minutes before we were to meet…which makes me ask, “Do you have a zero tolerance policy for flaking?”
Not just on the first date, when it is easy to say “next”. What happens if your SB (which whom you have an arrangement) does a no call, no show? Do you drop her the first time? The second?
How about just cancellations in general? I got dressed up, made reservations, was excited about the whole thing. How many cancellations with perfectly fine sounding explanations before you just don’t care what the reason is anymore?
I’m a little surprised by how many problems there have been getting together with girls (or let’s just say people to make this generic) on this site with how few dates I have set up.
Is it just me?
@ DaddyGT re: wine
My dear, I completely agree. Drink what you like, like what you drink, hell, just enjoy it all.
@ Dorky: ooooh, spankings? Am I too late on this subject to sign up for one?
Phone guy ~ Is she a newbie? If so have a heart and help her out. It’s very scarey for the first few times.!
@ PhoneGuy – I’ll apologize for her rudeness on behalf of all SBs. For me, it is extremely impolite to cancel a date, but even more impolite when it is that late in the night. (This is, of course, barring any immediate emergencies, but honestly, how many can a person have?)
For someone that cancels on a regular basis, this tells me that they don’t have control over their own life. For someone to not be able to handle making plans and keeping them, with “issues” popping up all of the time, I would start to wonder how they manage to get out of bed and dress themselves daily. (A little harsh, I know, but it is what it is). *Disclaimer – those that have jobs that require them to be on call are exempt from this when the only dating time is during on call duty*
Traditional relationship or non, if you want to be with a person you will keep your commitments to spend time with them when made.
Newbie sb’s rock! Gotta love em!
PhoneGuy – I totally understand your problem. The one girl I saw really long term would try to change things on me in the last hours. It got to where it was almost predictable. We had agreed to see each other two nights per month (every other week). I even told her the two nights that would work best for me. So I am asking for two nights out of 30, though she has to block out four nights until I give her notice which night of the two I asked for works for me.
Now to me that seems so easy. And what girl could not go along with that? And at first it worked, but then came texts about birthday parties, I feel bad, etc etc. It got old fast, and what made it worse was her suggesting “lets do such and such night” knowing full well I could not see her on those particular nights.
I don’t like getting to the point of being controlling or overbearing, but one asks for two nights out of 30, then there is little reason for her to cancel (unless its a genuine emergency).
@PhoneGuy — I’m with @Stormcat on this one. If she’s new, and it was her first time, extend a little grace. Keep talking to her and continue to give her some reassurance. Try again in a week or two, and if she bails again, then at least you can say you tried, and move on.
@PhoneGuy- The fact that she called and cancelled was at least somewhat conciderate. There are alot of people on the site that wouldn’t even bother to call at all. I’ve met with others that will show up two hours late, after I’ve already left. They would swear that we were supposed to meet at a later time. I would have to agree with stormy on this one. She may be nervous about the initial meeting. Give her a few days before writing it off completely.
I’m afraid I’m with Tina. Unless I misunderstood, you two have agreed to an arrangement and this isn’t the first offense. I would find a way to let her know it’s unacceptable. She should respect your time. Something to the affect of “if you would like to modify the arrangement, we can do xyz”, maybe less time for la lower allowance, and see if she realizes her cancellations are impacting you.
Here is what strikes me… Supposedly this is an arrangement that the SB wants, and supposedly this is having a big benefit to her life. Supposedly it is important to her. If she can’t do that little bit, then obviously she doesn’t want the arrangement. If she doesn’t want the arrangement, then why pursue her? The only exception I can think of is if it is somebody brand new dealing with stagefright.
BUT Dorky, if she’s new and dealing with stage fright, be HONEST about it! That’s what the draw to this lifestyle is all about – it’s a chance to cut through all the B.S. of traditional relationships and be open and honest about what it is and what you want. It’s ok to be scared, it’s ok to have some misgivings, but it is NOT ok to make a commitment and back out of it.
I think it’s interesting that it’s mostly the SDs willing to give her another chance, and the SBs being a little more rigid…..at least, that’s the trend at the moment for the few comments there are…..
Midwest ~ I may have been the one who misanswered because when I read the post about it being his pot sb I assumed it was a first meet and thought that someone who was going to flake wouldn’t have bothered to cancel at all. Since she did I thought of other explanations and asked if she was a newbi. Then offered my reason for asking. Now I see that Phoneguy actuall posed a different question than I was addressing. Hence the confusion.
@PhoneGuy
I’m sorry to hear what happened. Your experience was not new nor unique, and it happens on both sides of the sugar aisle. You asked several questions and here’s my take:
Ugh, my dinner with a pot SB was cancelled by her 11 minutes before we were to meet…
I assume this is your first meeting, and in that case I’d suggest that you re-confirm the meeting the day before or the day of, and then request her to text you when she’s on her way. Whether and when she texts you will give you an indication if she’s coming or if she’ll be late. There is still no guarantee she will show up, but it should minimize the chances for last minute surprises.
“Do you have a zero tolerance policy for flaking?”
Since flaking is so common, a zero tolerance policy would seem impractical. It takes flexiblity to be successful in the sugar world so you should look at it case by case.
What happens if your SB (which whom you have an arrangement) does a no call, no show? Do you drop her the first time? The second?
It depends on several factors. The more you like a SB, the more BS you’re probably willing to put up with. You’ll have to determine whether the no show is a rare occurrance or part of a pattern based on your history and interaction with the SB. Remember, don’t reward bad behavior!
How about just cancellations in general?… How many cancellations with perfectly fine sounding explanations before you just don’t care what the reason is anymore?
If cancellation becomes a pattern of behavior then it’s definitely a red flag. As for how many it takes, it’s up to each person to decide what their tolerance level is.
I’m a little surprised by how many problems there have been… Is it just me?
It’s definitely not just you. But if this pattern continues then you should re-evaluate your target segment and screening process. If you’re attracted to women who tend to be flaky, then either find a way to deal with it or target a different segment.
@PhoneGuy
Looks like you are having a really bad run. I do hope it improves soon. Poofing, flaking and cancellations like that are one reason to keep thing really simple for meet #1. Coffee. Not even lunch. Helps verify that the other person is not only who they say they are, but that they will turn up too, with little overhead, both in terms of logistics and time.
It is always easy to say “Next!!”. At least for me. Unfortunately I am one of those blessed with the “I can walk away in under 30 minutes flat” gene that De Niro talks about in Heat (great movie BTW).
Cancelling date #1 is really bad form. Cancelling 11 minutes before the meet is criminal. Depending on logistics, you are already committed, have travelled to her, and to borrow from the ladies, spent a bit of time and effort “Dudin’ yourself up for courtin’”. Once you have cancelled like that, I am already in “Next!!” mode, and the onus is now on you to not only reschedule but also to convince me to give you another shot.
If arrangement is in place, cancelling a regularly scheduled meet is bad form, especially if you don’t make alternative arrangements. I have always thought that the onus is on the party declining or cancelling a meet to make the alternative arrangements, to show their interest.
Thus. I can’t meetup this Friday. My cat is getting a haircut. Sorry!” is a bit suspect, whilst I can’t meetup this Friday. My cat is getting a haircut. Can we get together on Thursday instead!” is certainly more encouraging.
Good luck @PhoneGuy. Hope your choice of SB improves. Again though, invest as little as possible in date #1, till you are sure that someone is genuine.
@EnglishRose
It is all in the delivery. If someone was handing out roses to strangers, I might be worried. If a girl gave me a rose and I had to endure an entire tube journey with her, I might be worried. If on the other hand, a cute girl gave me a rose, with a big smile, and wished me “Happy Valentine’s”, as she was getting off tube (or some such “no ulterior motive scenario”), I would be well chuffed. Well chuffed indeed.
@SouthernGent2
I feel your pain. I suppose I have been fortunate in being totally more flexible about rescheduling. That said, you are so right, it gets very old very quickly, and if someone can’t block out just 2 nights per month for you, then they really aren’t trying very hard. And seriously, given your explanation, your SB must have known just how much more of an impact cancellations would have on you.
Just out of interest, how did it end, and how do you try and screen out for that sort of behaviour now?
on new SBs being nervous
I suppose one should make an allowance for new SBs. That said though, I would far much rather a pot SB was slow in agreeing to meet in the flesh, than have her agree and then cancel 11 minutes from zero hour. That is just very very bad form. I also like keeping other channels of communication open till the day before too. So, if we are meeting tomorrow, we will speak today, where I will reconfirm meeting, time and venue. If I have to travel, I might even drop an email or text saying I am leaving the office/home to head to the meeting an hour or so beforehand. So cancelling this close to time, is a definite no, no.
@Midwest SB
In my rather limited life, I have concluded that people rarely change, and that if their actions are one thing, and their words another, believe the actions. Talks to “improve things or else lower allowance” might lead to short term improvements (delivered grudgingly), but this rarely lasts. Now, I am far more ruthless. Next! The sugar bowl is fairly rigged in favour of SDs and so I would rather just stop the arrangement when it is not working, than try and have a heart to heart talk, which very quickly crosses the “No Drama” barrier.
As @DorkyGuy points out, if this is an arrangement that you want and that benefits you, you will make the effort to make sure that cancellation on your part does not leave me feeling, well, short-changed. Once you start feeling like that, it is time to move on. And quickly.
Just got home. I Took my sister (who is visiting the USA) to Waldorf-Astoria . I was first time in there too. I am shocked! 6 escort girls (with a pimp? What is the term?) in the small /not so big bar. many security guards in there and they “do not see” anything.
I have been in many fancy hotels/clubs in California and NYC but see this for the first time. I usually go to the Plaza or the Pierre for drinks and there is so quiet and a family friendly atmosphere .
But it is very very beautiful in the hotel, we took a lot of pictures.
Thanks to everyone for their helpful advice. I appreciate.
Yes I was asking 2 different questions. One about the first meet with a pot SB yesterday and another about flaking in general.
Thanks all.
Guru – I paid my dues with the long term girl. I guess everyone has to pay dues, learn from mistakes, etc. She knew how to play me in a lot of ways. I actually walked away from her twice, but came back because she begged me to come back (though I tried to meet a couple of other during the time away period). The final 4-5 months we were together worked out much better than the first two times together. But then she got a serious bf. I could tell she had changed because of him, so we decided to part ways when her cell kept ringing and texting (and she didn’t know what to do about it since I was there). She has gone on to marry that guy, so good for her.
Now I simply tell a girl that there are two weeknights that work for me when I travel. If they work for you, then we are good. If they don’t, then things will not work. Further, I tell them they will always get about a week’s notice from me. How can I make things much simpler than that?
Good morning sugars!
Daddy GT – In many aspects, you are right. I see it as an opportunity to address a cancellation the first tine around…not after several offenses. It just makes a woman realize that he won’t stand for it…even if she had a minor thing like a babysitter canceling. Cancellations do happen, I say a one-time forgiveness policy with an option to cancel / modify the arrangement. I think it sets an important precedent. If you walk away from a potential or an arrangement for one cancellation, then I feel it would be a bit too harsh. There will be exceptions and canceling 11 minutes before the date is one that I would not tolerate without a VERY good reason.
DaddyGT – I meant to address the message to you just above. You and Guru use same format lol.
PhoneGuy – though the girl is new, the cancellation she made was rude and in poor taste. Sometimes I simply think people don’t care what they do to someone else.
To my way of thinking, a cancellation is always a sign she may not be interested. Without a legit reason for the cancel, then I am not one to be so fast to reschedule. She has to show me that she is truly interested and wants this to happen. One of the biggest mistakes some of the new girls make is not showing a bit of flirty interest.
I am guessing you have back-up plans and other options. Its always a good idea. There will almost always be a favorite, but you need to be playing a couple of others to keep them on the hook when / if the time is needed.
For all of us guys that like the coeds – keep in mind that spring break is approaching, and that many college girls might be on the site in an effort to get spring break funds. Keep that in the back of your mind. Don’t let a girl drain the wallet with false promises and such about how she is going to return the favor. Good chance she may disappear after spring break.
@ Phoneguy and SouthernGent2
RE: no show ,cancellations ,rescheduling
It really boils down to two issues —basic respectfulness as a personality trait , and the SB ‘s committment to you .
After many flakes ,poofs and downright irresponsibility exhibited by prior dates , my SB now shows the utmost respect and art in dealing with our schedule . She knows my flexibility is limited and rarely reschedules , but when she does she asks for a different time and states that she can work things out if I can’t change . So far she hasn’t had an emergency that she couldn’t change if need be . How classy is that ?
If a SB is disrespectful then you should not torture yourself by staying in the hunt . Whenever I did that before it ended badly . If she is not into you then move on . If she exhibits disrespectful personality traits then move on .
Morning everyone!! It’s Friday! Whoo Hoo!!
@NewYorkGirl help! I’ve been meeting this guy (our 3rd date now) and we really like each other – lots of common interests, etc. He’s gotten me some nice jewelry on the last date and flowers/chocolate/etc on every date (which I find endearing). We decided we shouldn’t discuss the numbers thing in person and that we’d just e-mail it when we thought we liked each other to figure it out. He e-mailed me on Monday but the problem is: he’s offering about half as much as I’d actually like. It seems like he could definitely compromise (especially since he stated this estimate would be how much he thought my expenses would be). I wouldn’t say his offer is so low it’s insulting (like $800 or something), but I’m not sure he realizes how expensive it is to live here.
Do I tell him how much my actual expenses are? I don’t want to scare him off if he’s offering half as much. Do I agree to see him (because I actually really like him) but explain he can’t be the only person I see if it works this way?
What do you think?
@PhoneGuy:
I’m a little surprised by how many problems there have been getting together with girls (or let’s just say people to make this generic) on this site with how few dates I have set up.
I’ve never cancelled a date except this one time I had strep throat. I did once have a cold before a date and I simply asked the person if they were okay with this (they were).
11 minutes before a date… I’m not so sure is okay. Normally I’d say canceling a date without a detailed explanation is okay but not if it’s within 6 hours of the date because then she’s going to need a real reason like her house being on fire or something. Secondly, I can’t imagine why she’d feel this was okay. Did she just text or call? If she called with a real reason/emergency, okay. But 11 minutes before a date is simply unacceptable and I’d address with her (maybe during your next meeting) that you were saddened (not angry – don’t come of as angry) that it happened. She should also offer to make up any dates she misses because otherwise it seems as if she’s just blowing you off to spend less time with you.
Hgirl – I know you addressed NYGirl, but if I may suggest a few things. Many SDs are not comfortable with fully covering living expenses…it makes them feel like you DEPEND on their allowance. Instead, if you have school expenses, outline them by per semester costs…tuition, books, parking, fees, etc and maybe he’ll come up a bit. Another way to put it is that you will still have to get a part-time job to cover expenses which means less availability for him. Be careful about how you say it…make it about achieving goals and how helpful he can be as well as how it benefits him. Lastly, if he’s not asking for exclusivity, you can/should make it clear that exclusivity is not one of the parameters. Not to say it in such a way that you’re going to sleep around, but in the way that you have other options besides his allowance. He may find that exclusivity (sugarwise) is important to him and he is willing to offer a little extra for this. Hope it helps!
HGirl – if you enjoy this guy, then don’t let him get away just because you are apart on numbers. If he likes you, he is going to up the ante at some point soon. Like Midwest said, be careful about how you say things. Finding someone you enjoy hanging out with is difficult to do. You need to consider that when thinking about this particular guy.
You would be wise to also have someone else though if expenses are a true issue. Just an insurance policy guy if you get my drift, though I realize some sb’s do not like seeing two guys at the same time.
As I said above about sb’s, one is wise to always keep the hook in the water just in case.
@Midwest: Thank you!
I have quite a large academic scholarship so I don’t have to pay tuition at all outside of the fees (probably comes to around $200 a month if I put it throughout the semester). Everything about my profile implies (or straight forward says) exclusivity + long-term would be preferential. Maybe he’s thinking not? We did talk about meeting 1-2x per week, that we’re both workaholics, and that would mean it would be fairly restrictive for me to be able to find another guy, especially since I generally can’t meet during the weekdays (I suppose except Mondays).
Another thing is, I am looking to attend summer school so I have more wiggle room throughout the year, and I know that’s twice as expensive (tuition is constant, fees are not
and perhaps my scholarship won’t even cover tuition for that)
Maybe he’d prefer for me to see other SDs to lower his expense overall? I would not. Even if I was going to make 10x as much for 2 SDs, I’d still prefer to have one I genuinely liked with just my expenses covered. I would still like to see him regardless of the allowance so I don’t want to seem demanding – but on the other hand I’d like to make it clear that it doesn’t cover everything for me.
Is there a nice way I can ask if he would like to be exclusive? It just seems cruel since this is what I’ve been implying from the beginning.
Thank you Midwest, u r so smart (as always).
Hgirl. Sounds like the guy is really good, and he like you and he care about you (presents, chocolate …). And you like him. I would prefer to be with someone I like for smaller allowances than to be with someone I do not like so much for higher number.
You do not depend only on sugar money? Do you?
I tell you tell you about my current pot/SD. He told me how much is the amount he can spend on sugar (and he is married and work for pay check, but still has his own investment so his offer was an OK to me). but not good. And actually he asked me how much my rent. I did not tell him my rent so he would not faint.
Anyway…
I told him… “usually on this web site ….arrangements like…. 3.000 for twice a week meetings … I do not know… ” I am extremely uncomfortable discussing money, yet.
(but as Midwest (I believe ) said … If it is not important for you to discuss money, then do not get unset if someone use you . Something like that).
So I did not tell him how much I NEED I told him ” how it is usually here…”
, right?
so he told me right away the midline offer… And I had to agree
it was good offer, not perfect but good. (oh,… No one ever would be as generous as my d SD but … It is life).
And I do not need any money if my heart would be broken or if I do not like the guy.
And he is a sweet guy, very very neat, nice skin, nice body, very respectful …. Oh… Did I
mention 4 years younger than me. Not my type…. But… We all have to compromise
(somehow I never can go up and read what I just wrote on I pad)
@SouthernGent2
I’m not sure whether the similarity with Guru’s posting style is “Great minds think alike” or it is “Fools seldom differ”. More realistically, it is just me shamelessly copying from the great.
@MidwestSB
I agree. Walking away after one cancellation seems harsh. Like all rules though, there is nothing hard and fast. I suppose my point is that the onus is on the party that cancels to *actively* demonstrate interest, in part by (with no additional prompting), making the rescheduling arrangements. If you cancel, then the ball is now in your court to make nice.
@Va Gentleman
I totally agree. Some things are a sign that she’s just not that into you. Much easier to write off your losses and move on. Unfortunately for the ladies, this is even more true in the sugar world. As a guy, I am more likely to be forgiving with a woman I have already met before, and have some chemistry with, than someone who has just been the person on the other end of a few email/phone exchanges.
@Nawty Molly
Good morning to you too. How is Ms Flanders on this fine Friday?
@HGirl
I’m going to be a bit brutal with my honesty here.
Shooting from the hip, the cost of living wherever you choose to reside, would be your problem, not your SD’s. That unfortunately is the cold truth.
While this sounds harsh, negotiating from a “Do you have any idea what it costs to live here?!?!” position, is not going to be very helpful. Well, it wouldn’t be in my case.
That said though, that’s his first offer. It is a negotiation after all.
Have a frank discussion with him, and make him a counter offer. Point out why/what you are in the sugar bowl for. Point out what you need to get out of this. Lay your cards, and expenses on the table if you must.
Consider what you think he might be able to afford. Consider too the demands on your time that he is making. Again, this is all part of a negotiation. Would he be happy if you had another SD to make up the difference? Would his offered allowance require you to work to make the bills, thus taking time away from you both? Are you willing to forgo some expensive gifts and chocolate in lieu of a higher allowance? Etc. etc.
Above all, you need to play it by ear. What will work for one SD will not work with another, but it sounds like you already know this guy pretty well.
@Hgirl … sidebar
My two points above sound like they contradict each other, but they don’t. It is all in the position you are negotiating from, and indeed in the delivery of your arguments. Your cost of living, where you choose to live, is *your* problem not his. Your SD’s problem is how much he can help in making this problem go away.
Sigh. I don’t think I’m putting this well. I suppose my main point is that if your sole argument is “It is so expensive to live here therefore I deserve/demand a higher allowance, dammit!”, then you have already lost.
Frame your negotiations in a way that shows these genuinely higher costs, without being overly confrontational. And indeed, if it is a sticking point, negotiate some compromises. Whatever you do though, unless you are both happy with the final arrangement, it won’t last long.
@SG2:
I think you know exactly what I mean – you’re right, I don’t want to see more than one person at all. First of all, it’s hard to find someone I like! I don’t want to scare him of either. On the flip side, to be 100% honest, if I started seeing someone else, liked them, and they were covering my expenses – I’d have to cut it off with him. Do you see what I mean? Giving up exclusivity would also mean the chance of replacing him fully because I know how I am, and eventually, I just can only be happy when there’s really only 1 guy involved.
In no way did I imply he has to be monogamous (as I don’t really care), etc. It’s just I know that on my side it’s what I want.
Hgirl – It’s a delicate balance. If he doesn’t know about your scholarship, then still approach the tuition angle. After all, scholarships can be used to cover additional expenses. Or you can kindly say that you would be in a better financial position accepting the part-time job and that perhaps sugar wasn’t going to cover what you had hoped. It’s a reality check for him and shows that you’re fiscally responsible. He’ll argue that it’s tax free and you’re not working, but if you’re in a major city (NYC/ Dallas/ etc) a lady can make 150+ bartending bar per night which comes to $1200+ per month on weekends. Let him know you’re not afraid to walk away from sugar in order to meet your financial responsibilities. As far as the exclusivity goes, you mentioned it in your profile…so it is likely something that made you appealing to him. You can say something to the effect of “your offer is kind…I just wish I could commit myself to you and make ends meet. I will still have to find a way to make ends meet. What do you recommend?” Then he can suggest keeping the exclusivity off the table…he may ask you to provide a number that would cover expenses…or he may increase his offer. No matter what, if it doesn’t meet your needs, do what you must do. You may have to suggest that you’ll need time to work, so you can only meet 2x per month or something to that effect. It’s a dance. Asking him his recommendation allows him to lead and hopefully he will be happy if he makes an offer you accept rather than accepting an offer you provide.
@ Southern Gent
” always keep the hook in the water just in case ” .
This is practical advice but potentially risky for a SB dealing with a SD who desires exclusivity( which you haven’t said he does yet) . She might not want to risk losing a good guy where there is chemistry over the threat of shopping around .
” If he likes you, he is going to up the ante at some point soon” ‘ which HGirl said and I agree . You do need to let him know what your needs are based on your cost of living . He is likely to pay what you are asking and more if he really likes you and can afford it .
The problem you (all) face in dealing with SD s is that you don’t know what our budgets are . They might be lower on average than you think . It’s not about what