“The question arises, above, as to how an SB can convince a hesitant SD that she actually likes him for himself, rather than solely for his money. This is a classic issue in relationships involving a significant disparity in wealth or power.
Clearly, most SBs are interested in a financial arrangement, otherwise they wouldn’t be here. That money is a necessary element for most SBs, however, does not mean it is sufficient.
So the real issue for an SB confronting an SD who’s worried that she’s only interested in the money, is how to convince him that this isn’t true, and that she’s genuinely attracted to him even apart from the money
In my experience, one successful tactic is for the SB to start off by making it clear that she has met with other potential SDs, all of whom were interested in and financially able to handle an SD-SB relationship, but she turned them down because she didn’t feel attracted to them. She should tell the pot SD that she’s willing to meet him casually, possibly for coffee or a drink, to see if there’s any attraction. She should then agree to a second, longer meeting, possibly for dinner, again to determine if there’s enough compatibility to proceed. She should not bring up specific financial terms during or prior to these dates, and if the pot SD does, she should deflect this, saying that she doesn’t think it makes sense to discuss money before she’s sure she’s attracted to him, and that there is no amount of money that would cause her to go out with him absent attraction.
Following the second date (which shouldn’t involve sex), she should tell him that she finds him more attractive than the other pot SD’s she’s met with, and she’s willing to enter into an arrangement with him. At that point the financial discussion can take place.
If done right, this will leave the pot SD with the impression that he’s passed an audition of sorts, that she is actually attracted to and interested in him, and that the money is a secondary (though necessary) issue. Moreover, the perception of exclusivity will probably make her more attractive in his eyes.
I can say from personal experience that this type of approach is relatively successful at giving the SD the impression that she’s actually attracted to him (or that she’s willing to work hard enough at it that he’ll never tell the difference anyway, which in these types of relationships may amount to the same thing).
Note, however, that for this type of play to work, the woman has to have qualities such that the pot SD will find it credible that she’s able to pick and choose among wealthy suitors. In other words, she should probably be both beautiful and articulate.
I’m not positing this as the only way an SB can bring an SD to believe that she’s genuinely interested in and attracted to him. Women have been doing this with men for all of recorded history (and almost certainly before that), and literature and common experience provide innumerable examples of how it’s been done, both honestly and cynically. Nevertheless, under the right circumstances the described tactic has a good chance of working.”