One of the most common problem I found with newbie SB’s is that they are not clear about what kind of sugar they’re looking for and what they’re able to offer in return. As the saying goes, if you don’t know what you’re looking for, then you probably won’t be able to find it.
Every newbie SB should be able to answer 3 simple questions about herself:
(1) Why have you chosen to pursue a sugar relationship instead of a traditional relationship? (saying I saw it on Tyra doesn’t count!)
(2) What would you like your SD to provide for you? (don’t say “show me the money!”)
and most importantly,
(3) What can you offer in return? (think about what sets you apart from other SB’s).
Once you have a clear understanding of how to answer these 3 questions and can articulate it to pot SD’s, then you’re well on your way to finding what you’re looking for.
First two questions every newbie SB should ask her pot SD:
Question #1 – Why do you want to be a SD?
How sugar dating differs from regular dating is the “sugar” aspect of the
relationship. After all, people are looking for a SD or SB for a reason, otherwise they should be on regular dating sites. Find out what that reason is and see if you have similar views and expectations.
Question #2 – What’s been your experience with this type of relationship?
If the answer to #2 is “none”, then ask “How do you envision this
type of relationship to work?”
Newbie SB’s should determine whether it’s a good idea to get involved with a newbie SD. IMO at least one of the parties should be experienced in order to have a better chance for success.
If the answer to #2 is “experienced”, then ask “What kind of arrangement did you have with your previous SB?”
There is no need to go into the specifics initially, but you should get a general idea of what was involved to see if it’s similar to your expectations.
When to bring up the topic of sugar?
As previously discussed, a sugar relationship could be whatever two people can agree on as long as the sugar brings “value” to both parties. As to when to bring this up, I don’t think there is anything wrong with asking about sugar early in the process by either the SD or SB. Unlike normal dating, you shouldn’t leave things open ended and see what happens, otherwise the process could drag on without any tangible results. If there is no travel involved, maybe you can discuss sugar when you meet in person. But if there is travel involved, then you should have a clear understanding of what each other’s expectations are before making travel arrangements.
I understand some people may misrepresent themselves, so there is an issue of trust and respect as well. Do you think the pot you’re talking to can be trusted and has respect for you? That’s a judgment call each person will have to decide for themselves.