By seemingly disappearing into thin air, the act of “ghosting” has become the newest phenomenon in dating. Let’s face it, being ghosted sucks. You meet a girl and instantly connect, exchange texts with playful banter, have a few dates where the conversation never slows, you start getting serious feelings for her and then the next day, she’s gone. Calls aren’t returned, texts aren’t responded to. She’s vanished.
Below are some reasons why she may have ghosted.
You’re familiar with the term ‘Stage 5 Clinger’, right? While this is usually a negative term used to describe an overly needy women, it is also possible for a man to fall under the Stage 5 category. Did you text her right after dropping her off? Did she wake up to three missed calls from you? Did you invite her back to your place on the first date? Were there sexual undertones in a majority of your comments? While assertiveness can be an attractive quality, remember not to be too overbearing or seem clingy.
Albeit immature, ghosting is a favorable method for avoiding awkward conversations, such as: you’re annoying, I’m not attracted to you whatsoever, you smelled, you talk too much, you were rude to the waitress, I just don’t like you, etc. You may have done something to turn her off or upset her, and this is her somewhat polite way of declining further advances.
There’s a chance she’s dating multiple people at once and decided to cut you loose. There’s nothing you can do about this one.
Things were going really well and you two all of the sudden became serious and you’re head over heels for this girl – then she’s gone. Maybe she realized she’s not actually ready for a commitment and ghosting is her way of backing out. It’s possible to be genuinely taken with someone but to be utterly afraid of commitment. If she’s ghosting you for this reason, just relax and give it time. If you leave her be, there’s a good chance she’ll reach out when she’s ready.
Don’t beat yourself up too hard. Chemistry is everything and if the attraction simply isn’t there, then there’s nothing you can do. That doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with you. The two of you just didn’t click for one reason or another. Our wants and needs change constantly, so while you may have hit it off for the first couple of dates, her mood and mind have since changed and she’s choosing to end things and ghosted.
If you feel like you’re being ghosted, I would follow the three message rule: you can call, text or email her up to three times (any combination) without a response. If you don’t hear back after your third attempt or after one week, she’s ignoring you and it’s time to move on.
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