2 years ago
Guest Blog: Finding and Securing an “Investment” SD

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There are a number of different kinds of Sugar Daddy profiles on SeekingArrangement. My type is an “Investment Daddy.” In order for me to “invest” in an arrangement, I need to be confident that the Sugar Baby will use my allowance and gifts to improve her life, rather than becoming a fashionista or flaunting “things.” To me, that confidence starts with the abundance of opportunities for a first impression!

Your Profile

Sugar Babies, your profile page should be considered your relationship resume. It should consist of proper grammar throughout. You are not a “women” and you’re not attending “collage.” Spelling, grammar, and punctuation…If it isn’t perfect, it’s too easy to move on to the next profile!

Your “About Me” section covers what you are bringing to the arrangement. Don’t be too sexual. Do talk about the interests and types of activities you enjoy, especially those that you are hoping to enjoy with potential SD.

The “What You’re Looking For” section should be about the characteristics and traits you seek in a partner, not the brands you’re looking to receive as gifts in the arrangement. Avoid using the word “I” whenever possible. In my experience, whenever I’ve met any potential partner that has overused the word “I” on their profile, this person is solely focused on what they receive opposed to what they can offer in an arrangement.

Quality Pictures

To stand out, make sure you have at least one photo in which you are standing with good posture in a well-lit room. There is nothing more unappealing than a grainy photo. You should also try to have two to three more photos complementing what you’ve written about in your profile. Try to avoid photos with multiple friends, bathroom pics, kissy faces, and the dreaded duck lips.

And remember, consistency is key. There should never be a question as to whether or not it is  the same person appears in each photo.

Do Your Homework

Prepare to interact with anyone you’re messaging. Keep three date recommendations handy at all times. This could be coffee, lunch, or drinks, to provide just a few quick examples. Be sure to do a little research into the recommended meet up locations; it should be a neutral location where both of you are comfortable.

Your Messages

Relate your messages to the potential SD’s profile. If you read he is a huge sports fan, mention your favorite team or sport in the message. If his profile mentions wine, talk about a fine wine you’ve sampled recently. Don’t worry about how it is perceived. Keep things semi-professional when discussing arrangement details and remain focused on getting face to face. Even though you are after the allowance, you should appear genuinely interested in meeting.

The First Meet

This is the prime opportunity to show who you are! You should be dressed appropriately for the venue and the time of day. Be early so you can scope out the place before he arrives. Have enough money to pay for what you order. While an Investment SD will probably never split a bill, being ready to offer to cover your order will allow you to avoid being perceived as desperate. Conversation should be about your dreams, goals, and how your SD can help you realize your ambitions. However, don’t tell him what you need him to do, let him figure out where he can help on his own. Don’t sell yourself and your dreams. No one likes to be sold. All you have to do is present the opportunity.

Negotiation

An Investment SD will likely want to start out by being conservative in his investment.  He wants to wait and see if you are genuine with your effort, the goals you  have stated, and how sincere your interest in him truly is.

The Investment SD is usually generous, sometimes to a fault. Don’t shy away from the Investment SD —  the boost to your contacts, career, business, and life overall can be amazing!

 

Have you had an experience with an Investment SD? How did it differ from this?

 

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1,418 Responses to “Guest Blog: Finding and Securing an “Investment” SD”

  1. Anonymous says:

    One quibble – the suggestion that an SB should “have enough enough money to pay for what you order”. A SD should ALWAYS be covering the cheque at a first meet (and any date!), no questions asked. They likely chose an upscale place, there’s no reason in the world an SB should be expected to cover their own $100+ steak. The point of the site is for SD’s to be benefactors. I can’t imagine anyone tacky enough to stick a prospective SB with the bill – even if it turns out there’s no compatibility. That’s lower than the lowest Splenda Daddy.

  2. Raleigh says:

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts on sugar baby. Regards

  3. alexisjj says:

    Hi :) How is everyone doing? I am well…more or less lol
    I’m here looking for advice, and to hopefully find any SD that are compatible with me. Myself, I am not picky nor do I discriminate :) I am simple an down to earth. I am seeking an allowance of $1000. monthly. All other needs such as dinners or lingerie etc., SD is responsible for.
    I am also seeking an a SD that is genuine. An is not into playing games…meaning sex, or sexual ‘favors’, in order to start our mutual agreement. I do believe we should meet, and communicate, and be honest about our needs. I just stated all of mine lol….except what I enjoy in the bedroom. But that’s for one on one.
    So I would luv some feedback, or even comments on my profile, and any real Daddies, drop me a line, ….I don’t bite…unless you want me too lol :)

    Hugs xxo
    J :)

  4. Kendra Holeman says:

    I recently signed up and I’m not sure how to change the About me and What I’m interested in. Help!!?

  5. La Rousse says:

    I have been on SA for some time now and have been searching for an Investment SD with no luck! Would anyone be interested in taking a peek at my profile and providing me with feedback? It would be so appreciated!

    • Josh says:

      If an SD came along and gave you guaranteed $2500/month and gave you an option to have any kind of arrangement with him (one involving sex, platonic, or don’t meet at all), what kind of arrangement would you propose?

      Why would you choose one or more options. Again, there’s absolutely NO pressure or obligation to do more than what YOU want to do.

  6. beautiful&confident says:

    I have been on here for awhile I have had my profile viewed several times I haven’t had any luck yet.

  7. JaiLa says:

    Hi everyone, I too would like if someone could take a look at my profile as well. I’m open to any advice even critical to see if I am attracting the wrong type of SD. Email replies from SD’s have been either racist, wanting explicit pictures, wanting to meet at my place and not at a neutral location, and someone said that he didn’t like the word “sugar daddy”…So I haven’t encountered a pleasant investment SD just bitter salty Sd’s unfortunately. So if you could check it out and let me know!
    Thanks,
    JaiLa

  8. Golden Li says:

    Hi guys! I was wondering if someone could review my profile. I’ve been on here for a while but I’ve just started using this account. I’m open to any advice and tips that could help.

    Thanks

    • Customer Support says:

      If you come page here. Here is your tip. Move. There is nothing going on in Bloomington, IN. And take better pictures.

  9. TrishBeauty says:

    i agree with miss eva. I want to be in a better situation then what i started with. cause im sure so many rely on the money and then when it goes away they are back where they started. Teach a man to fish you feed him for a lifetime. but unfortunately for me i havent found an SD at all ,let alone someone who would invest in me

    • IHF2030 says:

      And why do you think that you have been unsuccessful in finding a sugardaddy?

    • Traveling Man says:

      Well Trish, you are certainly gorgeous enough, wow, lovely smile! You have only been here a few weeks, it can take some time, you have one error in your subtitle, should say “Poised”, and maybe you could have a nice full body photo without the other gals, but you are smokin’ to me! I would be careful about counting on the money long-term as you have noted, Good Luck

  10. caribbeanstud91 says:

    hey guys I’m somewhat new here can I get some advice on my profile
    thanks

  11. ty says:

    Alot of sds’ i’ve spoken to are so pushy and disagreeable when i insist on meeting in a neutral environment..

    • THEATLSD says:

      @ty
      If that is the case then move on. If SD does not understand or care about meeting in a safe, neutral place then they probably are just looking for quick meet ups. Ignore them and move the next POT SD.

    • Traveling Man says:

      I agree with ATL, move on from someone like that, only excuse i can think of is if they are married or in relationship and you want them to meet in a local hangout, should then involve a drive elsewhere

  12. Miss Eva says:

    This is great! Thanks for all this advice. I am really interested in the investment type of SD. I want someone who is attracted to me because of my potential and I find that men like this are very rare on this site. My best arrangement was not the one with the most generous allowance, but was rather with the man who took time to impart many tidbits of wisdom and advice to help me become more successful. I wish more SD out there would realize they are more than their checkbook.

  13. Josh says:

    @Rhian_B

    “She can do whatever she damn well pleases, and that’s all she’s “supposed” to do, Josh.”

    Is that so, sweetheart? Is she also a strong, independent woman (on welfare of sorts)?

  14. 90sAva says:

    Sorry about the typos, I’m using my phone.

  15. 90sAva says:

    Why do I feel like these type of SDs are rare or maybe it’s me doing something wrong. I am looking for am ‘investment SD’ and although I like the idea of nice shoes, bags and looking really girly it’s just not as appeasing as getting my businesses of the ground, going to grad school and achieving my life goals overall. I think my pics are cute, I’m not perfect looking in that Barbie kind of way and I think most SDs (at least the ones in the UK) are looking for that. Perhaps, I seem to boring in my profile I’m not too sure. American SBs have it best, they have so many options whereas its quite limited in the UK. I’ve had better success on other sites but even then it’s never an ‘investment SD’.

  16. Fun Ship says:

    HAHAHA Investment. It’s a loss no matter how you look at it from a guy’s perspective.

  17. Abundantly Me says:

    @Foxy, I think that your profile is brilliant! :)

  18. Abundantly Me says:

    New SB in the house!! :)

    I am bravely asking for a profile review, and crossing my fingers that FunDude will play nice. I have had plenty of traffic and several emails…I just want to be sure that I don’t have any blind spots.

    Thank you!

  19. Foxy McSugar says:

    ::ahem:: Logged in now, that should make it easier!

    Hello There!

    I’m back on the site after the unfortunate ending of an interesting arrangement. I’d love some advice on my profile, from all your well-developed sugar palettes. Any input would be appreciated!

    • Josh says:

      You’re a pretty escort. 😉

    • Josh says:

      Confirm if you’re and escort or not, then I will tell you what gave it away. 😉

      • Foxy McSugar says:

        I’m not an escort. I’m a counselor and coach. Why do you think i’m an escort?

    • Josh says:

      Confirm if you’re an escort or not, then I will tell you what gave it away. 😉

    • Josh says:

      There’s no point discussing any further. I asserted something. You don’t agree. Let’s move on. 😉

      • Foxy McSugar says:

        Well I certainly don’t want to be giving my potential SD the wrong impression. If there is something in my profile that reads escort-like, I’d love to know.

    • Foxy McSugar says:

      Well, can anyone less cryptic than Josh offer me feedback?

      • LookingGlassSB says:

        I think he’s referring to the amount of sexuality in your profile -paragraphs 3 and 4 of your About Me section.

        And also the fact that you say in your profile the fact that you’ve been in MANY arrangements before. I think most guys find that off-putting

    • Josh says:

      You will have to post your request on the newest blog sweetheart. Regulars don’t hang out on older blogs.

      • D says:

        Haha, that was quite good. I like it, is that the way you conduct affairs with prospective SBs? I am way to straight forward

    • Elaine says:

      @ Foxy

      As I said before, I don’t see anything escort’ish in your profile.

      Apart from beginning every sentence with “I”, it looks like a great and interesting profile to me. For what it’s worth, coming from another SB. 😉

      Don’t think you will have difficulties finding an SD though.

      If you want more input, repeat your question on the newest blog!
      Most regulars don’t read old blog posts afterwards.

    • VA Gent says:

      I think you’re interesting, pretty, sexy, Ms. Foxy. I’d ask you out if you weren’t on the wrong side of the country. I don’t have any problem with your openness, that you are experienced, and, no, you do not come off as an escort. Your profile takes the guess work out of it–is getting lucky together on the table or not (chemistry being there, of course). I like a woman who intelligent, accomplished, and is comfortable and confident in her sexuality.

  20. Anonymous says:

    Hello There!

    I’m back on the site after the unfortunate ending of an interesting arrangement. I’d love some advice on my profile, from all your well-developed sugar palettes. Any input would be appreciated!

  21. Princess Jainzar says:

    When there is someone free could you please take a look at my profile and any advise would be appreciated.

    • Josh says:

      What do you need advice for? Aren’t YOU supposed to give advice, princess?

      • Rhian_B says:

        She can do whatever she damn well pleases, and that’s all she’s “supposed” to do, Josh.

    • cryptic anomaly says:

      The word Princess/Queen/Goddess etc is an immediate red flag for me, I would have clicked next on your profile straight away based on that alone. It is overly used, boring and is dripping with self entitlement.

      So I have to beg you to give you money? No thanks.

      I guess it might appeal to men who want to be FinDomme’d for me it’s not my thing at all.

    • FunDude says:

      You can’t be serious. You are basically a caricature of everything wrong with SA.

      A morbidly obese female with the title “princess” who writes about your “demands” from men in your profile.

      I guess these are the type of profiles Brandon Wade thinks will make SA a successful website lol

      • FunDude says:

        @Princess

        I can’t read my emails on this website since I’m not subscribed.

        Ergo, speak on here if you want to chat.

      • Elaine says:

        Hm, never thought I would one day agree with @Fundude….
        But here he has a point.

        I know there is a niche for Domme’s on SA, but this must be a joke!

        First thing; you have to understand is that subs on SA are not the usual IRL sub’s.
        They are mostly successful businessmen that want to hand over control now and then. But even then they will keep their daily live standards.

        You really think any of these men will send money for nothing to a overweight and very average looking so called, “FinDomme”?
        Did you do some marketresearch and checked other “FinDomme” profiles?
        Well I did, just for fun, and found mostly abandoned profiles…..

        There are a few attractive Domme SB profiles that have success potential.
        Yours has not.

      • FunDude says:

        @Elaine

        Wow good comment. Might have misjudged you. Finally some logical thought here.

      • Anonymous says:

        Haha…

    • lovelynyours says:

      Princess – this is really not the site for you. I’d suggest deleting your profile and posting on a FinDomme site, to be honest. You’re not an SB, so asking for a profile critique here is going to go really poorly for you, truth be told, because the demanding nature of that niche is a huge turn off for the vast majority of SDs.

  22. Jay says:

    I’m a gay potential SB and was wondering on how effective it is to find a gay SD relationship/arrangement?..

  23. VA sweetheart says:

    I am really new to this, I keep getting asked what amount I’m looking for. How do I know what to ask for??? Help please!

    • cryptic anomaly says:

      Well what are you looking for? I think the men are wanting to know how much money you want?

    • Rhian_B says:

      I feel the same way… I’ve never really been sure how to accept help, honestly.

    • Nina says:

      I prefer to let them set the budget. They should know how much they’re willing to spend. And if it doesn’t seem fit, try to negotiate but never settle for less, even if you’re desperate. Just move on to the next one if you think his budget is too low.

  24. Eyes of the World says:

    Will someone take a look at my profile and advise how I can improve? Thank in advance!

    • lovelynyours says:

      Eyes – if you’re having difficulty, it may be because you’re separated. SDs may assume you come with drama and baggage that they’re not interested in. So you should make it clear in your profile that that’s not something you’re bringing to the table.

      Also, bathroom selfies are a drawback for many. I’d replace that picture with another one. And you shouldn’t claim to know how to write and then in the very next sentence use “you’re” instead of “your”. I’d focus more on what specifically you can bring to an SD’s life, as well. Be sure you’re using proper grammar and punctuation all throughout your profile.

      Hope that helps.

      • Eyes of the World says:

        Thanks!

      • Eyes of the World says:

        While I appreciate your advise with out a doubt, I just wanted to point out, that when replacing “you are” it is you’re.
        But other than that I changed the other things, thank you again!

      • zito says:

        I am not sure of anyone else, but I for one am tired of doing profile reviews….for the love of all that is holey, please post more than one pic, one face and one face with body, is that so hard to do, most of us men are visual, I see a one pic profile and I am more apt to move on without reading the profile

      • zito says:

        @lovely…she used you’re correctly…lol…I do love the the …prefer not to say option under children….lol…should just have a straight yes or no…lol

      • zito says:

        wait, my bad…she used you’re correctly the first time, but incorrectly the second time…lol

      • Anonymous says:

        @Zito No one is forcing you to do them and from what i have seen you give shitty advice anyways. So you’re not really helping. Get a life you loser.

      • lovelynyours says:

        Eyes.

        “So if you’re fun and looking for good company, who you can keep a conversation with, I’m you’re girl!”

        It is “I’m YOUR girl.”

        Anon, Zito is correct. Prefer Not To Say is simply code for yes and is therefore useless. Nobody who doesn’t have kids is going to put “Prefer Not To Say”.

      • lovelynyours says:

        Sorry, anon. Didn’t see the post you were actually referring to til now. Still though, be nice. :)

      • zito says:

        I feel good that I can give my shitty advice out in the open and not hide behind ad Anonymous label, so excuse me while I do not give credence to a single word posted by someone hiding being an Anonymous label, maybe I am a loser, but at least I am not a coward…lol

      • Anonymous says:

        @Zito you are also a loser that can’t spell but insist on criticizing others for the same thing. Anyone who is stupid enough to think you are a real SD instead of a poser deserves what they get for following your advice.

    • NC Gent says:

      Two things — a moderate allowance request with 1-2 meetings a month is quite high. Could easily end up costing an SD about $2,5000 a meet. Not many are going to go for that, especially for someone going through a divorce (sorry if that is cold). Also, a number of people list separated when they really are just unhappily married – not saying that is your case, but it is reality for a number of people. A lot of SDs prefer single SBs. I hope you find a great match!

      • Eyes of the World says:

        Yeah, my bad! I changed the your lol as well as the frequency of meetings thanks for the feedback everyone I hope to find a good match!

  25. K-Violet says:

    Reposting with my profile made accessible !
    Hello everyone,
    I’m just another new SB that would love some advice on my profile. Unsure if I say too much, if I am too genuine and honest, or if I come up a little over-confident… Any comment appreciated ! I get messages but conversations always randomly stop for no reason. What am I doing wrong ??
    Thanks in advance !

    • zito says:

      Well, I looked at your profile, I didnt read a word of it cause I have no clue what you look like, and am not in the business of wasting time with people who dont post at least 2 pictures….but thats just me

    • zito says:

      other than the pics, the profile is pretty good, I would lose the negative disclaimers at the end…sd dont like disclaimers…lol

    • Anonymous says:

      Your picture is fine. I understand the need to be discreet. I only post obscure pics too for privacy reasons. Your profile is very thorough, but you should always leave something to imagination. You shouldn’t reveal everything at once, just slowly and at the right time. Also since you said the conversations randomly stop. Instead of exclamations and question marks, use smiley faces. Men love smiley faces. Hope it helps!

  26. K-Violet says:

    Hello everyone,
    I’m just another new SB that would love some advice on my profile. Unsure if I say too much, if I am too genuine and honest, or if I come up a little over-confident… Any comment appreciated ! I get a lot of messages but conversations always randomly stop for no reason. What am I doing wrong ??
    Thanks in advance !

  27. Belle Hatter says:

    I’m super new to this (like a week in) and I’m worried my profile might be TOO open and honest. I’m not sure what I should change, or how to make it more appealing. If anyone could give me some hints/tips, that would be greatly appreciated!
    Thanks <3

    • Kshunter says:

      Personally, I found your profile quite appealing. Nice pictures, face and full body, so guys can actually tell what you look like. You wrote a lot and let your personality come through. Here’s the thing – anytime you do that, some guys will be turned off by your personality (no matter what it is), and other guys will be attracted. That’s OK. I think you did fine.

  28. Xferred says:

    Hi,
    from these replies, looks like the SA community Stateside is strong! Feel like I’m going wrong with my bio & pics etc. Would welcome any advice, critiques etc.
    Thanks!

  29. Jaybird923 says:

    @MK Your profile is well written honest and straightforward. you are very clear about what you’re looking for. Anyone who contacts you offering something different is choosing to purposely ignore your wants and the issue is not with you. There is nothing misleading about your profile. Good luck with your search.

    • Anonymous says:

      @Jaybird
      Thank you for your feedback on my profile and also wishing me luck, it’s very nice of you!

    • Jaybird923 says:

      @MK You’re welcome just keep in mind no matter how clear your profile is you’ll always get a few people who just ignores what you want. But don’t let them discourage you. hold out for what you want. It might take some time but the right person will come along eventually.

    • MK_MK says:

      @Jaybird,

      I understand. I guess the patience is the key. Just so many of them like that so I was wondering.
      Yes, I will keep my chin up and try! Thanks :)

  30. Josh says:

    @MK_MK

    Post question in the newest blog.

  31. Josh says:

    @Maggie

    Post question in the newest blog.

  32. Maggie says:

    Ciao lovely people! I know this is somewhat of a long shot, but it seems the right blog for it so I shall try. I was wondering if anyone could critique, take a peek/gander at my new updated profile and let me know what you think. I’m really looking for a longer term SD, someone to travel with and perhaps help me kick start my career in the future rather than handbags and designer shoes (plus at 6’1, size 10 feet it’s too hard anyway haha) Any advice and honesty would be appreciated, but don’t be unnecessarily unkind. Grazie x

    • Jaybird923 says:

      @Maggie I really like your profile. It’s well written. The only suggestion I would make is Your first to paragraphs are just one really long run on sentences. Try to break them up so it’s easier to read and flows more smoothly. Besides that, great job. I hope you find someone to help you accomplish your career goals. Best of luck to you.

  33. Lola Liddell says:

    Hi Everybody,

    I was hoping I could get some feedback on my profile.
    (https://www.seekingarrangement.com/member/e4cb67cf/view)

    I have a hard time describing myself, mostly because I find talking in absolutes a very questionable activity. I’m intense when I’m working out or studying. Maybe a better word is focused. But I’m also a total dork and laugh at the corniest jokes – also easily amused. Puns are the best worst jokes ever. Then I have this 1980s samurai block buster code of honor, where if I say or promise something, end of discussion. But that doesn’t mean I take /everything/ so seriously. Quite the contrary actually. And of course, I’m sexual. But that’s taboo to talk about in a profile. Or is it.

    How much of yourself do you expose? Do I describe myself in broad terms or specific examples, or stick to generics and assume it’s all about the pictures?

    Anyway, sorry for rambling. Thanks in advance for any feedback, or just for taking the time to read this :)

    Best,
    Liddell

  34. lovelynyours says:

    Josh, the Powers That Be have answered your prayers. New blog post!

  35. steph says:

    So I am meeting up with a potential SD for the very first time. I’m super nervous but really excited. I really like how direct he is and he seems to be able to handle me thus far. Any tips for meeting a SD?

    • Reb. says:

      Lower your expectations. Expect him to look 10 years older than his photos. That’s how my experience always is.

    • elegancesw says:

      Good question, does someone have some tips, recommendations for a 1st meet? I’m also new on this site so… all advices will be helpful

  36. cryptic anomaly says:

    @Josh-In regards to picture collectors, I’m not a collector either. However I think the ones who do collect see it as more personal especially if they manage to get the woman to share her private nude photos. I think it passes as intimacy for these guys.

    • cryptic anomaly says:

      Intimacy in the sense that they have actually interacted in some way with these women as opposed to photos of anonymous women online.

    • Chase says:

      No Gentleman is ever going to ask for revealing pictures up front. If some one does just drop them and block them. They are a waste of your time and space on the planet.

      • Shaunelle says:

        I agree with you. It seems this is becoming normal. Almost like they want to window shop your naked body. There is a ton of porn out there for that. I have full body pics in my public profile so I don’t understand why you need to see me naked before we even talk. To me when I get those request right off the bad it reads to me that you are looking for a prostitute, not a sugar baby.

  37. flyr says:

    BLOG DICTATORS How about a new topic——- Sugar Log July 14, 2015 We don’t need a topic , Just a divider

  38. Josh says:

    @Jay

    I am not sure if that analogy is correct. You wanna try a different one?

    • Jaybird923 says:

      @Josh Both of them have access to freely available pictures. But everyone has access to those there’s nothing special about them but when you watch the woman in the window you’re seeing something most people don’t get to see and when you gain access to private picture you’re creating a collection that’s only available to you most people won’t get to see them either.

      It’s more personal and the people are real life people you can meet and bump into and they wouldn’t have a clue about what you’ve done. The thrill of having that knowledge and power over them I guess.

      Hopefully that makes sense since I’m not a pic collector I’m only stating my perspective.

  39. Jaybird923 says:

    Can someone please expand upon the phenomenon of picture collection on dating websites.

    @Josh The same reason a peeping Tom will stand outside a window and watch a woman undress when he can see as many naked women as he wants on line.

    • RookieSD says:

      Can I be your peeping Tom?

      • Jaybird923 says:

        @Rookie Sure. Then I can catch you and invite you in instead of reporting you to the cops. If you want to stay out of jail you’ll have to do excatly what I say. lol

      • SD On Chat says:

        Ohh… that’s good Jay.

      • Jaybird923 says:

        @SD Oh it get’s a lot better. I have a very healthy imagination :-))

      • RookieSD says:

        Oh that may present a bit of a challenge to my rebellious nature, taking orders never has suited my personality type. But I’d play along…(cheesy grin)

      • OnlineNewbieSD says:

        I’ll attest to @Jay’s imagination…she’s a great pen pal to have 😉

      • RookieSD says:

        As long as her imagination doesn’t include non-sensuously squeezing my balls(unless I can test her gag reflex).

      • Jaybird923 says:

        @Online Thank you. I think You’re a delightful pen pal to have also.

        @Rookie I’m planning on you being rebellious otherwise it would be no fun for me. Being the one in charge for long is against my nature. And no to your last comment.. your balls are safe LOL

  40. Josh says:

    Re: Picture collector

    Can someone please expand upon the phenomenon of picture collection on dating websites.

    Why o why would anyone want to collect pictures of these women when billions exist on the internet?

    • RookieSD says:

      I found myself asking the same question. Could be along similar lines as to why cats are on here acting like “Johns”, they want to interact with a “real” woman or the girl next door type and not a pro?

      • SD On Chat says:

        Sorry.. I just reported the above comment by accident… meant to hit reply.
        My apologies.

    • OnlineNewbieSD says:

      @Josh – I think part of the “collecting” is an ego thing…how many women can a guy get to forward naked pics. As someone continues to talk about the “other blog” where SDs talk about profiles and ways to get more for less, pic collecting can be a badge of honor in communities like that (at least that’s the way it appears from the reading I did on the one repeatedly mentioned)…I know, from a personal standpoint, I tend to verify pics are not posted on sites like eros or bp or sexcia…not that I have a problem with people in the industry, it’s just not what I want from a SB.

      It also comes down to some of the rotating email profiles…you know the ones…there’s a new email attached to the same pics, same (or too similar) text…

  41. Josh says:

    New blog please. If a new article is not available, just create a new page with some information from Brandon’s personal blog. We will pretty much ignore it as we ignore the articles. LOL!

  42. heavenly creature says:

    Hi everybody :-) I joined today and I already have a question. Although there’s nothing in my profile so far except a pic and basic info, I received a message from someone halfway round the globe. Stating to get over here for business,wanting to meet and inviting me for spring next year if we connect. Now I supposed to send some pics (not specified what kind of pics). He says allowance would be around 4K per month.
    Cannot be real, can it? I’m at a loss somehow.

    • lovelynyours says:

      Unless you happen to have a father who possesses a “very unique set of skills”, I’d be wary of any international suitors, lest you get whisked away in a white van and forced to enter the sex trafficking business. Then again, I have a rather active imagination and clearly watch more films than I probably should, so there’s that.

      Seriously though, be careful. If he’s already putting down a number like that without even seeing what you look like, there’s a good chance he’s just a photo collector and will post whatever you do send to some skeezy forum or site. Or there’s a chance he has more sinister intentions in mind.

    • NC Gent says:

      @Heavenly — your instincts are right, if it sounds to good to be true, it most likely is. Go watch the movie Taken a few times before you embark on some international travel. The guy is most likely a picture collector that is preying on new members.

      • heavenly creature says:

        @ NC Gent I don’t know that movie. I guess I’ll have to Google it. Pic collecters are an offensive species :-/

      • SD On Chat says:

        Really, I hate when the movies and the media make SB feel the need to treat every SD like a stalker. Situations like that do happen, but are rare.

        It’s like if the media reported every traffic accident, every day in detail, like they do airplane crashes, nobody would ever get in a car again.

        Yet, in a situation like this it just looks like a scam or worse from the beginning.

      • rembodler says:

        Yes, it is interesting how many SBs treat you as a pervert, criminal or a fake. However, if they get the same vibe from you – that you treat her as a possible rinser or a fake, she gets mighty offended.
        It does help not being married…there is a whole lot less to worry about. There are some honest people there who will be put off if an SD is extra paranoid and acts it.

      • lovelynyours says:

        rem – I’ve never been considered a rinser nor a fake, so I suppose I wouldn’t know. What I do know, however, is that the nature of dating, period, requires women to be careful. Do men get abducted and have horrible things happen to them by women? I’m sure they do, but I’m also sure it’s less likely to happen.

        It’s just about being smart and being cautious against being a victim to criminal activity. I don’t see anything wrong with that, rem and SDOC. It’s about noting red flags and taking the right next steps. Not all SDs give off red flags, so no intelligent SB should be treating every encounter the same way.

      • heavenly creature says:

        Thanks to all of you <3

        Probably he's simply a picture collector. I have no problem sending somebody a picture. But pictures are deceiving. Think of all the apps available to make you look slimmer, younger .. A picture (to me) is simply a first impression. Beautiful faces can turn ugly if the person starts talking. And vice versa.

        A pic collector does not change my idea about SDs :-)

      • rembodler says:

        @ lovely
        This is a very female-centric point of view. I understand a woman will feel most safe when she is the possession of my real name, address and a couple thousand of my dollars.
        I am talking about average people and average petty crime, not “Taken”-type situations. From that point of view an average SD has a lot more to loose as a middle-class guy with family to blackmail and money to rob.
        And there are plenty of stories of SD being robbed and even killed. So I am not really sure what you are saying makes a lot of sense.

    • SD On Chat says:

      It smells so much like a scam. I’m surprised that he didn’t ask YOU to send him $2k, with. promise to give you $4k back when you “arrived” to meet him.

      • heavenly creature says:

        @ SD On Chat no, he did not tell me that he works as an investment banker 😛

  43. Traveling Man says:

    3 most important qualities
    1. Able to hold an intelligent conversation,
    2. Curiosity
    3. Warm and fun, lively

  44. Josh says:

    Re: College girl focus

    Yes, there’s focus on college girls, and I have no problem if college girls with .edu email addresses get free accounts. Actually being in college “may” be a redeeming quality.

    However, there’s a good number of women on this site that are here just cuz…they need to pay.

  45. Josh says:

    The most important aspect–if you want to call it “quality–is non-toxic attitude toward men.

    If such lack of toxicity manifests through her good behavior, then it’s all good.

  46. Sunshine2Serenity says:

    [https://sugardaddydiaries.wordpress.com/2014/02/25/what-does-a-sugar-daddy-want/]

    What do you guys think are the 3 most important qualities in an SB?

    • SD On Chat says:

      RELIABLE, caring, and sincere in whatever type of arrangement that they are indicating in their profile.

    • zito says:

      1. RELIABILITY
      2. Intelligence
      3. Honesty

    • flyr says:

      Intelligent
      Fun /happy
      Responsible/honest

    • Anonymous says:

      Fun
      Reliable
      Intelligent

    • RookieSD says:

      Sincerity, playfulness and positive attitude.

    • cryptic anomaly says:

      1. Not in it for the money/Prefers the experience and adventure.
      2. Honest and down to Earth.
      3. Caring, sensitive and genuine.

      I don’t care how “Hot” a SB is she will lose out every time to a more homely SB if she has the above qualities.

    • gentleman soul says:

      passionate
      easygoing
      generous

    • Sunshine2serenity says:

      I think SA should do a poll so that SBs can see these kind of responses so they know what men are looking for :).
      So far it seems like reliability/honesty, intelligence/good conversation, and happy/playful/fun (I collated some things together as I think they tend to go hand in hand :D)

  47. Anonymous says:

    Sugardaddie.com charges women for monthly fees. I suggest the men complaining check out that site for the quality of women. I am interested as well in the findings.

    Also a $20 fee for women is not going to fix the site at this point. Blaming the free memberships to the women in regards to quality is an interesting twist. That is like putting a bandaid on a bad heart that needs a triple bypass. The site worked fine years ago, when quality was maintained a little better, but the membership for women was still free.

    • Anonymous says:

      Sugardaddie.com charges the SAME rate for SBs and SDs – not a discounted rate. It also doesn’t offer free accounts to college SBs. Additionally, it is a huge scam site that illegally charges your credit card once they have it. The site also has tons of fake profiles – hardly a fair comparison.

      • LadyScarlett says:

        I disagree. I met a very nice..actually one of the nicest benefactor’s I ever had from that site. And, once I cancelled after one month(met him a few weeks after joining), they cancelled my credit card and membership. I found that some of the SA profiles were on sugardaddie.com as well. About the same number of faux SD’s, but not sure how it is for the men.

      • LadyScarlett says:

        Also, my credit card was never compromised after that. Not sure about others’ experience with that but never happened to me…

    • gentleman soul says:

      My recollection is that there was no search feature for my area-just statewide, and the volume of SBs was very low .

  48. Sunshine2Serenity says:

    @VitesseSD
    I think the inversion is good especially on mobiles – then you can just scroll up. The nested comments though are frustrating :(.

  49. VitesseSD says:

    This nested inverted blog is absurd. Good luck finding the new posts with all the nesting.

    At least before you could read top to bottom and have a general idea of what the conversation had been. I’m looking forward to the forum, but for now going back to the old comment format on the blog would be a real improvement.

  50. sugar baby monkey says:

    sugar baby monkey is depressed

  51. IHF2030 says:

    Most of the women on this site are seeking attention and ego stroke, and men need to keep that in mind.

    • cryptic anomaly says:

      Charging a fee for SB’s to join might help keep the attention seekers down.

      • GeorgiaPeach12 says:

        Good’ay Cryptic!

      • cryptic anomaly says:

        G’day Peach!

        @Josh-$20 I think would be a reasonable fee, if nothing else it would mean they have to think about how much they really want this as opposed to just signing up and expecting a High Allowance and gifts on first meetings etc.Might make them put some effort into their messages as well.

      • Reb. says:

        You guys don’t realize that the site is CATERED towards college sugar babies, not somewhat established women who are mature in age. College SBs are not going to join a dating website where they pay. Why do you think college sugar babies get a free premium upgrade if they use their .edu email? Brandon wants more of them. That is why Okcupid/Tinder are more popular than Match for young women, Okcupid is free.

      • cryptic anomaly says:

        @Reb-Without the SD’s though the site is just full of women who aren’t paying anything. Poor Quality SB’s will result in less SD’s.

      • Reb. says:

        “@Reb-Without the SD’s though the site is just full of women who aren’t paying anything. Poor Quality SB’s will result in less SD’s.”
        Poor quality is a part of every dating website, but there are so many women join SA every day especially with more and more media. Making them pay will only drive them away to a new SB site that caters to them by making it free. Speaking of which, women joining for free is not the reason quality went down. It is because of the marketing campaign. Their recent commercial was geared towards the average Joe, so that’s why guys making 50k are flocking to the site now and therefore lowering the quality by offering $100 per meet which will drive sugar babies away. SDs will never the leave the site if they cross too many ugly women. If that were true, online dating for every website would NOT be popular. All my SDs complain about ugly women on it, but they have been on the site for years and years because there will always be some attractive women on the site. SDs are never leaving when given the chance to hook up with young women. Now SBs, they will leave the site if the quality of SDs are down.

      • cryptic anomaly says:

        @Reb- The media campaign is wrecking this site. As we have all mentioned before trying to make Sugar mainstream will kill it off. Too many Average Joe’s looking for P4P plus too many deluded women who are looking for money for nothing and just waste every one’s time.

        In turn the deluded women will put off genuine SD’s and the number of genuine and quality SD’s will drop, you might still have the average Joe’s but that isn’t what this site is supposed to be about. In turn women will stop joining as well.

        It’s all interconnected, it’s not about SD vs SB. Besides expecting SB’s to pay $20 given what they might earn off this site is nothing anyway. I would prefer more SB’s who were genuine and less time wasters and scammers anyway.

      • flyr says:

        Not a bad idea. My guess is that for a lot of the younger SB putting up a profile is sort of asking a broker what my house is worth when I have no intention of selling.

        Continuing the real estate analogy in a hot market there’s no use in shopping if you are not willing to act decisively . You snooze you loose. The only thing left are those with termites .

    • Josh says:

      Even a $10/month token amount would cut the undesirable down significantly. $20/month would do wonders.

    • SD On Chat says:

      Using this site as entertainment with no intention of ever meeting or entering an arrangement should not be allowed. There’s probably no way to enforce it, but it certainly should be discouraged.

  52. rembodler says:

    This kinda desperately needs a reset.
    I hope Josh realllly has a sway with the SA Gods and the new blog is just around the corner..

  53. Josh says:

    Re: SD using Tinder.

    I don’t doubt that the woman is getting SDs through Tinder. The reason is that if a woman wants to have an SD, she can get one from anywhere.

    The problem arises when she wants one of her hands firmly in his wallet, the other one to (non-sensuously) squeeze his balls whenever she feels like it, part of her brain to hold on to his heart, and the other part to control his thoughts. Pretty soon she gets all tangled up, frustrated, and wants to try another specimen.

  54. crypticanomaly says:

    @Choc-You look stunned in both photos, like you weren’t expecting them to be taken. Shots with a more casual/relaxed expression would be good. Drop the don’t need creeps and clingy men part, of course you don’t need that but it is a negative and if you think creeps and clingy men read that and decide they won’t respond then you are mistaken!

    Overall your profile is pretty good.

  55. Josh says:

    Unless SA stops egging on these women to behave badly the quality of SBs will pretty much stay in the sewer.

  56. Josh says:

    @Choc

    You seem to be a bright, young woman. I am sure members here can help you score an SD. 😉

  57. Choc-A says:

    Hello I new to this website…. take a look at my profile. Any tips on how to score a SD? [https://www.seekingarrangement.com/member/ea2ca7ff/view]

    • JamminJ2015 says:

      Just on a cursory look, I would advise the following. Different pics! One that accurately shows your face and figure. Please post pics of you smiling. A smile is so inviting. The ones you have posted are not inviting. Best of luck!

    • flyr says:

      Lots of good potential

      I would add a full body shot in something you might wear in the evening- professional as if you are going to a business presentation

      (my guess is that you’ll be a knockout.)

      clean up the profile a little bit perhaps make the about me two paragraphs

      I would list your occupation as finance / student

      You go a little negative at the very end . Try to say the same thing in a more positive manner.

    • Traveling Man says:

      @choc-a, you are beautiful, agree with jammin a smile would really help, also, it’s just me, but all the talk about spoiling is really boring, it’s obvious doesn’t need to be said, and leave out the creeps comment and handle those by telling them off individually when they bother you

      • cryptic anomaly says:

        Amen to the spoiling. It’s in almost every profile, we get it and if the SD doesn’t get it then you weren’t going to get anything by reminding him.

        Also when the profile is just filled with “I want to be spoiled” and the SB doesn’t make any mention of what she is bringing to the table/offering it just makes it even more boring.

  58. Josh says:

    Most women know exactly what they want but they prefer that a man articulates it to them.

  59. SD On Chat says:

    I’m getting really stressed out communicating with flakey SB’s.
    No shows.
    Long text chats… in agreement… then SB changes her mind and blames SD for whatever she changed her mind about.
    Entitlement babys. It’s never enough for them.
    Happy meetings. Happy text the next day. “Let me know when I can see you again”. Then silence. Then, “Don’t contact me any more.”

    It’s just exhausting! I don’t argue because I don’t like drama. Yet I’m sick of taking all of this nonsense.

    • Jaybird923 says:

      Why are you having such a hard time? Has everyone you’ve made contact with ended up doing the same thing?

      • SD On Chat says:

        No. I’ve had some great contacts and meets as well. So I don’t think it’s me. Just happend to run into a lot of flakes recently and it was emotionally draining, thanks for listening. LOL

    • Josh says:

      Take it easy. There is no rhyme or reason as to what women do when it comes to men. The odds get better if you’re a tall, ripped, youngish fellow. Otherwise work on game and strategic use of your toys and cash.

      • SD On Chat says:

        Thanks Josh. I’m not ripped, but I’m tall, thin, stylish, with lots of toys, reasonable cash and present well.

    • NC Gent says:

      That was my same experience this last time. The required effort made me question if it is worth it. In the end, I found someone that I am seeing very casually. I am also seeing my SB from last summer about once a month. After these relationships expire, I am retiring from sugar.

      • GeorgiaPeach12 says:

        So, NC Gent, it will be back to the “wifey” for the attention you want?

      • NC Gent says:

        @GeorgiaPeach – I am trying to figure out why you would feel the need to ask me a personal question like that when I don’t know you. It appeared judgmental but maybe you can enlighten me?

      • SD On Chat says:

        HUGE AMOUNT OF EFFORT, that’s exactly it. When it works it’s great. When it does not work, or you get too many flakes it’s EXHAUSTING.

      • Nina says:

        An arrangement requires effort on both ends. A lot of effort needs to be put in in order for it to last. I put in quite a bit of effort in order to find an arrangement. And when I was in an arrangement, I make the effort to meet up with him. I would make sure I take the day off work or pay someone to cover my shift. I make sure to make myself presentable and make sure to clean myself up in case we choose to proceed to something more intimate. I’ve driven hours to meet up with POT. I expect the same effort from an SD. I’m not just someone you can easily pay to casually hook up with. If that’s what you’re looking for, don’t expect an SB of quality that would last in the long run.

    • GeorgiaPeach12 says:

      Hello.
      Could it be your perimeters that you’re searching? Perhaps if you changed some of those, that might help?

    • JamminJ2015 says:

      If you’re new at this, I will tell you that this is just how it is. Get used to it and move on. Very few of these women are truly serious and that fact holds true for the men as well. Never chase a sb. If it’s meant to happen, it will happen. In my area, the sb’s outnumber the sd’s 4-1. Just keep searching. I never had one say “Don’t contact me anymore” though. That may be a sign that you’re a little over zealous. Good luck!

      • NC Gent says:

        Yes I have never had a pot SB tell me to never contact them or to have them block me. You might be a little over zealous.

    • flyr says:

      Possibilities

      Your screening process is off

      Your sales presentation is off

      your pace is off

      Start with pace – potential relationships are like sharks moving or dying

      couple of exchanges on SA

      couple of emails

      couple of calls ( or just one )

      meet casually ( 1-5 days )

      Is there something you are doing that is driving them away

    • Sunshine2Serenity says:

      Going to address the elephant in the room. That you’re getting stressed about this is a huge reg flag. It shouldn’t be making you this upset so something is obviously going on.
      Check what messages you’re sending in between the happy to meet stage and the mind changing stage.
      Are you messaging them a lot? What is going on between the wanting to see you and don’t text me again stage? If it’s just a few flakes then it’s on them but if you’re consistently having problems then you need to look at what you’re doing.

      • SD On Chat says:

        Than you Sunshine. It was just a run of flakes that drained me, but I will look at my process as well to see where there could be improvement.

      • zito says:

        You must be willing to accept that theres a vast amount of flakes, It is tough to deal with the flaky drama at times, but it is probably them

  60. SD On Chat says:

    SB asks, “So what exactly are you looking for?”
    How do answer this question?

    • Jaybird923 says:

      Tell her what type of arrangement you’re looking for. How do you want to spend your time together. how often you’d like to see her a month. Are you looking for someone to travel with etc.

      • SD On Chat says:

        I’ve tried that, but every time I do it doesn’t work out.
        It feels like a “trick question” asked by overly aggressive SB’s with an agenda to screen you out.

      • Jaybird923 says:

        Maybe the ones who don’t answer just want to know about the financial end of things. Do you have an expectation level selected on your profile or does it say Negotiable?

      • lovelynyours says:

        You think so? I guess I don’t see anything wrong with screening. SDs screen, why wouldn’t SBs? It’s all about finding the person who is ideal for you, and it eliminates wasting time on what might not end up being what you’re looking for. I suppose I never saw it as being aggressive. Interesting perspective.

      • Jaybird923 says:

        If your profile doesn’t have a clear description of what you’re looking (and I’m not talking about money) I ask what type of arrangement you want. If you can only get together weekday mornings in a hotel room well that’s not what I’m looking for so if I don’t ask I won’t know. I don’t do it aggressively…

      • SD On Chat says:

        Thanks for the feedback Jay and all.
        I do set an expectation level (moderate to high), do state that I am ultimately looking for one sugar baby, and list a range of activities.

      • Jaybird923 says:

        @SD No problem. Don’t let it get you down. Hope everything works out for you and that you find the perfect SB for you.

    • NC Gent says:

      That is the “bring me a rock” question. Bring me a rock, and they will decide if it is the right one (and it never is). I usually respond to that question with, “I am flexible, why don’t you tell me what you are seeking.” Still very likely to get no response but at least you didn’t play her game.

      • NC Gent says:

        I.e. they have no idea what they want but they are hoping someone tells them what they want.

      • lovelynyours says:

        Oh, I think I see now – you’re saying it feels like she’s trying to get a number out of you for allowance purposes. Huh. I always asked because I genuinely wanted to know if they were looking for someone who’d be with them three times a week or once a month, open/able to travel, part-time GF versus NSA, etc. Never thought of it any other way. :/

    • crypticanomaly says:

      I always ask the SB the same thing so feel it is a fair question. Just tell her whatever it is you are hoping to find. If she is not into it then at least you know and move on. I don’t like to play games and deceive people on here. To me that is the whole point of an arrangement both sides can be honest and not make each other jump through hoops.

    • flyr says:

      In forming an answer to the question I try to use it as part of the sales pitch, a filtering device , and a test

      “Thanks, that’s a great question……….. I’m looking for several things, an intelligent , fun woman whom I have fun being with , talking to and doing things. Someone who is comfortable with a sensual relationship with someone who is older, but where they are treated as a girlfriend would expect to be treated. I am looking for something that continues, where there is mutual respect and where we both look forward to our time together but continue to live our separate lives. Sensually I am not into anything weird, painful or demeaning-it is supposed to be fun for both. Ideally I would like to have “our night” of the week ; however, with the flexibility for both to accommodate changing needs and opportunities. I’m comfortable with this type of relationship and knowing that the allowance is helping you finish school is an additional reward for me. Does this sound like what you are looking for? “

      • Jaybird923 says:

        @Flyer perfect response to that question.

      • NC Gent says:

        I still think the question is a cop-out and if they ask that in their first message to you, the probability of them meeting you is about nil. For me, if they demonstrate they have read my profile (which clearly states what I am seeking) by asking me a question that shows interest in me, and not just my money, there is a far greater chance of getting to a meeting.

      • stephanie says:

        ..is this site nothing but sales pitches, advertising yourself like a car and tests?

      • Jaybird923 says:

        @Ncgent you haven’t seen some of the SD profiles. Most of them are just two sentences long and one of the sentences is “If you want to know ask me”

        How are you supposed to start a conversation with someone like that? I just thank them for writing me tell them I’m not interested.

      • flyr says:

        NC I like being asked the question because it let’s me ask them the foundational question without asking them the question . I like to move to a phone conversation very quickly because it helps me get a much better feeling about the person.

        I am politely saying that if you are not comfortable with gooey, orgasmic sex as a staple and foundation of the relationship then I am not interested.

        If you do the homework then the first meeting is more like the preflight inspection of an airplane. It is supposed to be ready to fly but will it fly, any loose screws, wrinkled skin from a 7g excursion, leaking fluids .

      • SD On Chat says:

        Flyr: Being familiar with airplanes imhavevtomsay perfect analogy… Preflight Inspection… LOL

    • JamminJ2015 says:

      Here’s a thought…Put exactly what you’re looking for in your profile. Be specific so there are no misunderstandings. Pot sb’s will know right from the get go what you want. Saves a lot of time and bs. Good luck!

      • NC Gent says:

        I agree JamminJ. I have that in my profile and I still get that question.

        Flyr – you are right about moving quickly to talk-text. I did that near the end of my search and you can find out who is serious pretty quickly – good call.

  61. Jaybird923 says:

    Has anyone heard or tried this? There’s a woman on SA Instagram page that say she uses Tinder to find SDs. Apparently she’s been successful but it makes no sense to me. Why would someone pay when they are on an app with plenty of women willing to give it up for free?

    [https://instagram.com/p/5BJQ-JGa9G/?taken-by=seekingarrangement]

    • lovelynyours says:

      Huh. Interesting. I haven’t heard of that as a strategy, but I have heard of using LinkedIn. Didn’t do much digging into it because I’m not interested in using professional contacts that way, but apparently it’s a thing that works well. It’s probably for a long game, though – would probably take a lot more time and they’d probably wind up being SDs without really realizing that they’re SDs, or without giving it a label. That’s the only way I could envision that sort of thing happening. But I could be wrong; I’m no expert.

  62. NC Gent says:

    My SB has a discreet tattoo on her hip that is very sexy. Highly visible and-or large tattoos are a dealkiller for me.
    Not try to argue with anyone, but the more fit one is, the easier it will be to find sugar, for both SDs and SBs. Fair or not, SDs can compensate for their physical shortcomings with their wallet.

  63. stephanie says:

    I’m not answering anymore negative responses but thank you for your concern. Another user in the blog was able to point me in the right direction in creating a profile the both expresses who I am and what the expectations are of some SD’s. Have a lovely evening.

  64. flyr says:

    @ Steph

    Houston We have a marketing problem

    I’ll stay clear of well plowed ground

    It is not just the tats but that they look like cheap tats that someone with self esteem problems buys after a night of partying or her lowlife BF gifted her a trampstamp . My SB has two very tasteful tats which she wears covered when appropriate. There’s a world of difference.

    I would include a picture of you in something very classy that does not show the tatts

    That said I was sitting in a meeting with bond counsel on a major public agency bond issuance and happened to notice that the immaculately dressed, probably female attorney had a barbed wire tattoo around her very well shaped lower leg .

    There is nothing exciting the in profile other than a hint.

    With your occupation as hair stylist or similar and the term ” well educated” there’s a gap.. Both may be true but you should provide a bridge…… “don’t let my job mislead you , I have a masters in history from Harvard……

    So let’s try to package this into something that might get a response.

    Option A – Edgy , dom for the man who wants to let the sub out of the closet

    Option B –

    Finally only 1 in 10,000 potential SD will wake up tomorrow morning and think I really need to find that SB who is an entitled , abusive , unappreciative bitch who will take my money and spit on me as she leaves.

    • lovelynyours says:

      You make good points, FlyR. Steph, you may do quite well as a Dom in the submissive market.

      Also, FlyR, feel free to tell me if it’s none of my damn business and I won’t be offended, but are you a public finance i-banker? Or are you on the FA side? Your mentioning of the meeting took me back to another life and made me curious. :)

      • flyr says:

        I am on the real estate development side but with a strong analytical background. We were hired to help a large public agency deal with a number of existing and proposed projects . I got thrown into the finance part because I opened my mouth and said something about why were they paying agency counsel to look at numbers. There was a lot of low hanging fruit and too many political friends reaching over the fence for freebies.

  65. IHF2030 says:

    So, I think that we have reached consensus that race and/or politics matter in the sugar bowl? lmsgao

  66. Josh says:

    @Admin

    ‘Tis almost time for a new blog. Thanks in advance.

  67. Josh says:

    @Stephanie

    You will gave uphill battle on this site for sugar. Accept it and focus on you main business.

  68. zito says:

    I didnt read the profile, saw the tats and ran…my fave is the chest tat…yeah….as if…lol

    • crypticanomaly says:

      100% agree. I don’t understand why women vandalize themselves especially on their most feminine parts. Looks awful.

      • stephanie says:

        That’s your opinion on looks not everyone else’s.

      • crypticanomaly says:

        @Septh-You asked for advice because you aren’t getting any Sugar. Just because you are hearing things you don’t like now, don’t get nasty.

      • stephanie says:

        there is a difference between tastefully saying something and being rude. I asked for critiques in my profile and I got it. Things like it doesn’t flow. Okay that makes sense. Not you look like you vandalized yourself and I ran away b/c I have money for what I consider a better looking prostitute with all my money.

      • crypticanomaly says:

        @Steph-Your tattoos are obviously a huge factor in why you are not having any luck on here. We may only be 2 bloggers so far who don’t like them but there would be many more SD’s out there who are turned off by them. Then there are other physical factors and that is before we even got to your profile, if we got to the profile. And your attitude is very aggressive, I would imagine even if a SD did start talking to you, you would turn him off pretty quickly. You asked for a critique, you got one, physical appearance and your photos – the one of your back in the mirror by the way is a terrible photo all is part of that.

      • stephanie says:

        I have tattoos, I am not a size zero. I am aggressive, that is me. I will make my “about me” or what I’m looking for flow a bit better. However I am who I am. I do want jump back to something. I don’t like to flat out lay everything about myself, I like to be able to tell someone something when I meet them. For example as far as my business. I have a cosmetology license and aesthetics license. I am thinking of getting more, at some point maybe I want to own a business and be a master in my trade. Or with my aesthetics license I can work in a doctor’s office. Now I am in my early 20’s and have ALOT of learning to do, but I know what direction I’m firing thus far.

      • stephanie says:

        I have seen some SD profiles, in their arrangement section “will fund ink”. So I’m not really concerned about my tattoos, other guys like tattoos and I do too. These critiques were kinda like pulling teeth lol but thanks kindly for looking gents :)

      • crypticanomaly says:

        @Steph-Than be your aggressive self and all the best to you. But don’t wonder why a man doesn’t want to spend money to have you hang around him. Aggression, tattoos, average looks, it hardly adds up to a must have for us.

        & it’s now 3 male bloggers against Tatts and piercings.

      • stephanie says:

        are you going to go outside and take a survey if everyone likes tattoos and piercings? lol don’t care.

      • stephanie says:

        If your concerned about just looks go buy a cut out board of a model b/c that’s all I’m reading is looks, looks, looks.

      • Sunshine2Serenity says:

        Looks do play a part in who will contact you, they get a man interested enough to message you.

        Your clothing isn’t flattering your shape. Something that is more flattering would be more appropriate.

        Some guys do pay for ink but they’re more along the lines of something with intense artistry. Stars on your chest might be off putting :/. I don’t have tatts so I don’t know the best way to show them off but I don’t think your current photo is working for you. Take out the bathroom selfie as most guys dislike those.
        Other than that we don’t know much about you and what makes you special from your profile.
        There is blunt honesty and then there is honesty with tact. You did not appreciate it when you received blunt honesty so why would any potential SD want that kind of aggression? Politeness and manners go a long way even in the face of hostility and rudeness.
        Hopefully this is of some help to you :).

    • IHF2030 says:

      Tattoos and piercings are a huge turnoff for me, as well.

      • Catcher 22 says:

        @lovely: Very thoughtful, well stated, constructive and, I hope, helpful evaluation and advice! Guys here (and self-proclaimed gurus) should take notice that profile critiques need not be stated in negative and insulting terms.

    • lovelynyours says:

      Steph – I’m not really sure where to start. I guess I’d just say that the guys here were offering you some advice that you were really adamant against taking. Now, don’t get me wrong, I understand they weren’t all as diplomatic as perhaps you’d like, but I’ve found that’s the reality of online forums – people will say things in ways that are perhaps more blunt than they would in person. Others still would say it to your face exactly as they’d say it here, so that point in neither here nor there. You’ve put yourself out there for critique, and that’s the first step, so kudos – I guess. Here’s the rub:

      1. Men on this site don’t typically like tattoos. I’ve seen it time and again on profiles – one or two small ones are okay, but a guy can’t take you to a gala or business dinner with a giant tattoo on your chest and back. You’ve automatically taken yourself out of the running for maybe 80% of the guys here.

      2. Aside from the tattoos, you’re in a niche market of bigger women. I don’t know what the stats look like in terms of wealthy men and body types, but generally I know they prefer slim, athletic, and occasionally average (if she’s truly a winner in other categories). So you’re in a narrower field, still. I’m not saying you’re unattractive, you’re just in a different niche where there are far fewer men to attract.

      3. Those paired with the fact that your profile isn’t terribly well written strikes you out. After “message me”, you have perhaps an emoticon that isn’t translating well and is just being shown as jibberish. Your first paragraph is filled with cliches “down to earth”, “enjoy the finer things”, “go on an adventure”. Show him who you are – don’t tell him. If you’re intelligent, sound intelligent. If you’re sweet, sound sweet. Be clear about who you are and what you bring to the table. If you’re going to attract the type of man you want (I’m not sure what type of man that is based on your profile), you have to bring your A game. Be specific about what kind of guy you’re looking for, then tailor your profile to attract that kind of guy.

      There is a niche who’d be into you. The guys here aren’t in that niche. Frankly, most guys who are a part of the sugar bowl aren’t in that niche. But don’t give up – if you present yourself appropriately, learn how to market yourself in your profile, and yes – lose the defensive attitude, you’ll find your guy eventually – but it will take some time and some work on your part. Hope that helps.

      • zito says:

        @lovely…wow…tha was way more articulate than any of us guys were relaying to her….kudos

      • stephanie says:

        Thank you Lovelynyours.If someone from the beginning conveyed it like that I wouldn’t be a duche bag. I should post a picture of my tattoos covered up maybe also to show I can be more business casual. I don’t have sleeves or anything and normally don’t have my chest hanging out when I’m doing business. This should help me make a more presentable profile.

      • crypticanomaly says:

        @Steph-Did you not see my review of your profile below? I said basically the same thing Lovely did, although she focused more on the market value. In regards to your comment about “Looks” of course looks matter! No one on here is looking to get married or have great conversations, the SD’s generally will want a younger woman who is very attractive to have fun with.

        Would you want a poor SD? I don’t think so, so for you it is about $$$ so you are equally shallow.

        Asides from that, as mentioned your aggression is totally off putting.

      • lovelynyours says:

        Ha, thanks, Zito. I aim to help!

        Stephanie – You can do that, yes. I wouldn’t hide the fact that you have tattoos or anything; you wouldn’t want to give an SD a surprise like that that he isn’t prepared for, but it would at least show them something else. Right now it seems like the only thing you’re showing off are your tattoos.

        But more important that your looks is your demeanor and attitude. A woman, no matter what she looks like, can attract the man she’s looking for with the right demeanor and attitude. Believe me, I’ve seen it. A friend of mine who isn’t much to look at brings all the boys to the yard, so to speak, because of her personality, attitude, and confidence. She doesn’t take herself too seriously – she can laugh at herself and has a thick skin that’s tough as nails. That’ll disarm just about anybody. Best of luck to you.

      • stephanie says:

        I’m not shallow, I’m new and curious. I wanted to see what being a SB would be like. I liked the way she conveyed it, it wasn’t rude. To me it was more like…honey no this is what you need to know. However it’s a website, honestly i’m not in tears over here over what everyone said. She inspired me to make my profile more solid and sit and think of how to really conveys who I am. She didn’t discourage me she encouraged me.

      • stephanie says:

        @ lovely. Oh no I know that lol! I mean be upfront in posting my tattoos but also a picture showing I can have a more professional look. Again thank you, you’ve been alot of help :)

      • Catcher 22 says:

        @lovely: Very thoughtful, well stated, constructive and, I hope, helpful profile evaluation and advice! Guys here (and self-proclaimed gurus) should take notice that profile critiques need not be stated in negative and insulting terms.

      • lovelynyours says:

        Aw, thanks, Catcher! Don’t get me wrong though, I can be a class A B%$#@ in a critique, or elsewhere, if I feel it’s deserved. Take the spam poster from the other day who was garishly seeking profile views and nothing more. I chose to interpret her “check me out” as a critique request, and then made a conscious decision to be a LOT more blunt/rude about my critique than I usually would, so she’d get the hint. For me, it just depends on the intention behind the post. Idiocy, lazy mentalities, and sketchiness really push my buttons, as I imagine certain things really push the guys’ buttons.

    • gentleman soul says:

      Stephanie, there are two types of SBs that I look for depending on the time and freedom I have to Sugar .1) socially acceptable lady who is educated and has class ,and 2) a fuck buddy. I would not pick a tattoo-ed lady for #1 ,but I have no problem with #2. Currently my SB has 7 Tats and counting . My Sugar actually goes to finance her next set of tits–oops -I mean Tats. Education also doesn’t matter because all I need right now is a maniac in bed . Nobody else will either see or hear my SB .

      • steph says:

        I think there is a niche just like lovely said. I’m not giving up hope, I’m frustrated but I’m standing my ground. There are plenty of successful people in the world who are covered with tattoos. It is 2015 and I’m sorry my generation is full of tattoos. Maybe it’s a older generation thing.

  69. FlyBoy says:

    I am thinking of going on a fuckathon. lol Several months of doing several women each month.

    Procedure to follow:

    1. Establish contact with a desirable pot.

    2. Find a way to give them some money to establish in their mind your willingness to give .. generous/beta chump whatever! Ex; $500 for a day at the spa or a dress to look ‘fabulous’ at the date!

    3. Take pot on a date to a high end restaurant.

    4. Be ‘nice’ and ‘funny’ until she feels secure.

    5. Switch game to increase chance of getting sex later on.

    6. Grab a drink or two after dinner in a high end lounge/bar near hotel.

    7. Escalate and sexualize the interaction.

    8. Take to hotel, drill until you find oil or collapse from exhaustion, whichever comes first.

    9. Have a cup of coffee/breakfast with her in the morning. Give her a $1000 (thousand) for gas and sundry. Tell her, we will talk later about the arrangement, kiss her goodbye and move on.

    Thoughts, ideas, complaints, sermons, or name calling? lol

    Cheers :)

    • zito says:

      you can get that cheaper than 1000….lol

      • gentleman soul says:

        Flyboy ,too much effort ,but nice thought . Here’s how us lowbrow boys do it.
        1)same
        2)free coffee at high end Starbucks
        3)skip
        4 and 5) same
        6)skip
        7&8) ssame
        9)skip
        Total expense -$200 -same results
        10) repeat as often as you want

    • Jaybird923 says:

      @Flyboy Why? That seems a bit cold and malicious. I’m bit disappointed in you. I know you’re a stranger and i don’ really know you But I never got the impression you were the type of person who would do something like that.

      • FlyBoy says:

        Which part is bothering you, Jay?

      • stephanie says:

        lolololol oh wow.

      • Jaybird923 says:

        @Flyboy #5 and #9 If you want to this fine but don’t mislead them into letting down their guard and then let them believe there’s a chance at something more.

        Especially when you know from the very beginning their isn’t. You’re being cruel for no reason and giving them the extra money isn’t going to change that.

        There’s plenty of women who would willing join you for a night. Or is this some Thomas Crown nonsense … are doing it just for the challenge.

      • stephanie says:

        I think profiles work both way. Some SDs could step up their game not just SBs.

      • Jaybird923 says:

        @flyboy #4 not 5

      • FlyBoy says:

        Step #4 is standard for all online dating. After all, she doesn’t know you and needs some reassurance that nothing unsafe or unwanted will happen.

        When that is done then gaming her can start/resume from the texting period.

        Cheers :)

      • crypticanomaly says:

        @Steph-“I think profiles work both way. Some SDs could step up their game not just SBs”.

        For someone who is complaining about not getting any sugar that is an interesting comment.

      • stephanie says:

        I didn’t copy and paste. I am getting messages, Favorited but I’m not attracting that right SD I want. That’s why I asked for someone to look at my profile, you guys are being nasty.

      • Jaybird923 says:

        @Flyboy I think you need a hug. I give really good ones free of charge. cheers :)

    • crypticanomaly says:

      I think on this site you could do it just by straight up asking women if they would like a night of fun for whatever you are willing to offer. I don’t feel the need to play games and mislead anyone. They will either say yes or no. But given the amount of women on here you have a good chance of getting more Yes responses than No responses.

    • Sunshine2Serenity says:

      Hate you so much how dare you :o… Just kidding lol.
      Take out the we will talk about the arrangement later (no sense in leading a girl on – they can get nasty) and it sounds like you’ll have a very enjoyable time :).

      • FlyBoy says:

        lol :)

        Ok, I agree that ‘arrangement talk later’ is misleading. I will not do it unless I really have to!

        Cheers :)

      • lovelynyours says:

        I agree. It’s really poor form to lead someone on like that. There’s no need to mess with someone’s ego or self-esteem that may follow in not contacting them again, just to get laid. There should never be a situation that comes about where you “really have to” lie to someone to get sex, IMHO. You want to do the rest of it, that’s your prerogative. But lying or omission is never, ever necessary in these situations.

    • zito says:

      @flyboy….why not have all this out of the way before you get to dinner?….that way you know what to expect barring a peg leg or something

    • GeorgiaPeach12 says:

      LOL FlyR
      I’ve also heard that called a [“Slut Puppy”] Adventure. LOL

    • sugar baby monkey says:

      @FlyBoy. Sign me up!! Please, I do not want your $500/$1000. Just a bunch of ripe banana. Will be ready to swing all night. You will be first to collapse from exhaustion.

  70. cryptic anomaly says:

    @Stephanie- I am on this blog a fair bit and it’s the first time I have seen you post a link to it, and we did ask several times yesterday. If you are posting it on the older blogs none of the regular bloggers post on them so we would never have seen them.

    Onto your profile. You have the writing style tattoos, I find that to be a turn off, many other older men would too, tattoos in general especially on or near breasts don’t do it for me. “I’m certain my brains will catch your heart” that could be said more eloquently. You talk about your education and intelligence, your conversation skills however your profile isn’t well written and doesn’t flow at all.

    Also you speak of your education and intellect and you work as a hair stylist? That contradicts. Not saying hair stylists can’t be intelligent, just adding everything in your profile up and how it works against itself.

    “I am open minded, it depends on the person and the arrangement. I want to be able to talk to you and get to know you. I am a woman that knows what she wants and the direction I desire to be in. Your time is valuable as mine is, don’t waste your time with these other ladies on the site that will play you. I am realistic and straightforward. ”

    I see so many contradictions in the above when I read between the lines.
    Your open minded but it depends on the person and the arrangement, so you aren’t actually open minded then, to me I read that as “The richer you are and the more you pay the more I will do”. You are a woman who knows what she wants? Ok, how about you tell us what you want then because you haven’t done that.

    “Don’t waste your time with these other ladies on the site who will play you” that sounds soooooo trashy. I feel like you are going to pull a switch blade on me.

    And no, you don’t come across as realistic and straightforward. Your profile lacks warmth. And you look like a tattooed Nonna in the sunglasses pic.

    Not trying to be mean, just giving you some feedback.

    • stephanie says:

      yeah but that’s both of your opinions in the style of woman you like. That doesn’t mean that’s the absolute way a woman should be. There are some men who do like tattoos. I’ll take the critique of making it flow better. I’m not going to explain myself to you guys bit by bit. If a person wants to get to know me and they like what they see then they can ask me and meet up. It’s a simple as that. I’m not going to pretend I’m something that I’m not no matter what the cost.

      • crypticanomaly says:

        “If a person wants to get to know me and they like what they see then they can ask me and meet up. It’s a simple as that. I’m not going to pretend I’m something that I’m not no matter what the cost.”

        But they don’t want to get to know you, do they? That is why you asked for help and you seem ultra aggressive, people on here were willing to help you and now you attack them.

        And you’re not being yourself on your profile at all. You are trying to be something you’re just not.

      • zito says:

        shhhhh @cryptic….lol……bottom line, saw profile, understand why no one messages her…lol

      • stephanie says:

        No not at all. Everyone is different, so I treat everyone different. Makes sense? I skimmed through different blogs and added things I agreed with. SO the fact it doesn’t “flow” makes sense. I’m being aggressive b/c I don’t take kindly to disrespect. I wanted a cut and dry answer. The way you answered was fine, I respect that.

      • crypticanomaly says:

        @Steph- ” I skimmed through different blogs and added things I agreed with.”

        Did I just read that correctly? Did you copy and paste lines from other sources?

        @Zito-Pretty much!

      • OnlineNewbieSD says:

        @stephanie – if you check this blog again, I’ll say…you should probably read THIS POST…while I wrote it as an “Investment” SD, if you’re not TARGETING a type or a look, you’re no better than eros or backpage escorts, looking for every buck you can squeeze out of a man for the least amount of effort…if you can’t read THAT when you read your profile, EVEN RIGHT NOW, you’re going to continue to struggle finding connections on SA and in the Sugar Bowl…

        BUT

        If you took this profile to eros or backpage, or even Ashley Madison, you’re probably going to have a riot and make all the money you want for all your “plans in the making for your career”…

        and I’m the nice guy on here…

  71. Josh says:

    We know now why you’re having problem getting a man, which will continue. I am sure others will try to help you but that would be wasted effort. I am grabbing some cashews and alcohol to enjoy the fun. LOL!

    • Jaybird923 says:

      LOL @Josh you have a knack for pissing people off. I think you had the right idea all along about not doing profile critiques. I’ll sit this one out.

      • stephanie says:

        I’ve seen his post in other blogs. I like the honesty but the bitch comments I’m not impressed by. Be upfront and move on. I posted my profile for everyone to see a bunch of times and I am busy through out the day. I’m not glued to my phone when I am conducting business. I want someone’s opinion on how I can improve and that’s it.

    • zito says:

      yeah @josh…wtf is wrong with you?….lol…..fat girls need love too my man

      • Jaybird923 says:

        @ZIto No offense but you’re the last person who should be mocking someone because of their weight you’re not in the best of shapes either.

      • zito says:

        lets see you waist line there @jay….im guessing you not the slimmest old lady either

      • Jaybird923 says:

        @Zito #1 you’d be wrong I’ve had a full body pic up several times #2 I’m not the one making fun of someone’s weight when I can afford to lose a couple pounds myself.
        It was unnecessarily cruel to do it not once but twice if she personally attacked you then fine but she didn’t she just disagreed with your opinions

      • zito says:

        @jay, i prefer you go back to ignoring me…..the girl blasted josh and others because she said she posted her profile 5 billion times, but yet it never showed up, and she got an attitude about it…so she started with the nastiness

      • Jaybird923 says:

        Josh started it by calling her an idiot see his post at 1:14 pm other than him she called no one a name. yes she was defensive but so are many people who come here asking for help. And I’ll gladly go back to ignoring you

      • zito says:

        thank you

    • GeorgiaPeach12 says:

      Think I’ll join you Guru! I just got here and catching up. LOL
      Nice glass of vino and a few unsalted nuts. I’ll share. 😉

  72. stephanie says:

    I’ve post my profile like 5 billion fucking times. So josh shove your money up your ass if your going to speak to me like a bitchhttps://www.seekingarrangement.com/member/e7b97d4f/view

    • zito says:

      now i understand

      • gentleman soul says:

        Steph, if you offer me “what I am worth” I will go out with you. I have to have $5K /date.

        I don’t pay for 1) non slim or 2) disrespect

    • crypticanomaly says:

      @Steph-I just went through all your posts, because you were posting entire links without brackets around them the posts weren’t being posted. This latest one only went through because you didn’t leave a space between the link and bitch.

    • Reb. says:

      Steph, as a fellow SB, it is the weight that is the reason for no responses. Every SD in my past had an issue with “weight”. A woman being larger is the most common complaint I heard. It’s rarely ever about if the girl looked older in photos, just weight.

      • crypticanomaly says:

        @Reb/Steph-I don’t mind a cuddly or curvy girl it does depend though from SB to SB. Tatts however can be a real killer for me.

        Your aggression pretty much finishes off any interest I would still have you after that.

      • zito says:

        Im not a big weight czar either, but the chest tat and her lumpiness coupled with her attitude….NEXT

      • stephanie says:

        Ah well, maybe this isn’t for me. I don’t see the equality in this. I see profiles of SD that are over weight, some old as fuck, some not good looking. However b/c they have money they will be picky and act like they are Brad pitt, give me a break. I don’t get it, and majority of them will not help you unless you fuck them. Money can’t buy someone giving a fuck about you. I mean truly caring about you and not pretending so they can have money or whatever it is they want.

      • lovelynyours says:

        Yes, you do see a lot of that, Stephanie. Many men here aren’t guys anyone would deem attractive. But they have something you want. You, then, must have something THEY want. Typically many things that they want. It is equal, just not the kind of equal you’re expecting.

      • Sunshine2Serenity says:

        @Lovely
        You embody your name. Very classy.

        @Steph
        If you can’t see the benefits then maybe it’s not for you. It’s about more than money and sex although for some people that may be most of what they want.

      • crypticanomaly says:

        @Steph-There isn’t any equality in this at all. That is the point. Mostly older men want time with mostly younger beautiful women. They want it on their terms and they are willing to pay for it. Likewise many of the women on here want to spend time with a man who will treat them well and even give them an allowance. There is no “Right” to Sugar and men aren’t obligated to find you or any other woman attractive.

      • lovelynyours says:

        Aw. Why, thank you Sunshine. :)

  73. Jaybird923 says:

    I was having lunch with one of my SD friends today he mentioned that he’s been running into more profiles from Transgender women. And it made me wonder have any of you guys noticed and increase in your part of the country? And do you think SA should create a separate category for them?

    • zito says:

      I have noticed this as well….more disturbing is …..many of them look better than the born females…lol……not sure theres enough for a new category yet

    • cryptic anomaly says:

      Yeah I have noticed lots of Transgenders, they are honest about it in their profiles which is good. I think they should have their own category and if there is a Gay SA than probably that is a better place for them.

      • Jaybird923 says:

        @Cryptic but some of them don’t identify as gay but I do agree there should be a separate category

      • crypticanomaly says:

        @Jay-Yep but I still feel they aren’t straight either. I don’t have anything against them at all, I’m just not into them sexually. Funny story, I was on OKCupid a few years back and as per usual I haven’t read the profile, I start chatting with this one woman and we are really hitting it off, she asks “And nothing in my profile bothers you?” I still don’t check it and tell her “Nope, it’s all good” we keep chatting and then she asks the same question again, so this time I actually read it and there it is, she is Transgender. Note to self: Read the damn profiles!

      • zito says:

        still dont think theres enough of them for a category, ive run across 50 maybe in 18 months

    • Jaybird923 says:

      @Cryptic LOL That’s what you get. Men never read the profiles they scan them and look at pictures

  74. stephanie says:

    Ahhh someone help me pllleeaaseee!!! I stilldont get why I haven’t found SD yet ;( idk what it is I’m doing wrong!

    • Reb. says:

      Weight, height, age?

    • Josh says:

      You have two main choices.

      1. Provide your profile ID or
      2. Buy a nice, firm dildo.

    • Traveling Man says:

      Where is your profile Stephanie? Will take a look

    • Josh says:

      One of the reasons you are not getting an SD is that you are an idiot. If you provide your profile ID then we can tell you if you have any redeeming qualities to attract white knights, or if you’re indeed wasting your time.

      • Why not just ask? says:

        ouch Josh. I haven’t had any luck either and I’m not an idiot.

      • zito says:

        I know what @josh means…this stephanie girl seems like a time waster and game player….NEXT

      • cryptic anomaly says:

        @Josh-ROFLMAO so funny but also soooo true we have asked Steph a few times now to provide her profile details.

      • cryptic anomaly says:

        @Why Not Just Ask-One reason you might not be getting any Sugar is your main and only photo is cute but doesn’t let us see you at all. Also you don’t mention why we should get to know you, and what you are offering. Your need to have some in charge after a busy day at work might also clash with most SD’s need to not have to be in charge after their busy day at work.

        Hope that helps.

      • stephanie says:

        I am a dominate person, that’s who I am. I’m not a yes woman. I do things when I want, how I want. For the millionth time I POSTED MY PROFILE SEVERAL TIMES and no one responded. Maybe it was a fluke on my end with my phone, I don’t know.

  75. Josh says:

    @Reb

    Are you currently merely rinsing him then?

    • Reb. says:

      No, I expected us to turn into a long-term arrangement, but he is moving too fast. I mean, he said as I walked out the door, “I am falling in love with you.” What?? His personality and everything else is great, but I can’t be all over him like we’ve known each other for years.

      • flyr says:

        @Reb – “”,,,,everything else is great, but I can’t be all over him like we’ve known each other for years.””

        Of course not, have you never gone home with someone you met earlier that evening ?

    • Josh says:

      Is he loaded?

      • Reb. says:

        Well, he easily spent 8k-9k on me this weekend (like the flight, shopping, dinners, shows, pampering), but he admitted he is not as wealthy as my previous SDs from what I shared.

      • flyr says:

        @ Reb “but he admitted he is not as wealthy as my previous SDs from what I shared.”

        I don’t see a happy ending here . Perhaps another couple dates

        “admitted he is not as wealthy as my previous”

        That comment makes me think we should launch a massive rescue effort to save him from this folly………

        ” I complimented his clothes and said he was handsome, but I guess he wanted someone handsy”

        My guess and hope is that he will find someone who genuinely likes him, wants to make him VERY happy and would be thrilled with 1/4 of the amount.

      • Sunshine2Serenity says:

        In future may I suggest not letting them know how much you have received in the past.
        Penis size and how much money/gifts are never something to share with a guy as it’ll just deflate the guy :(.

      • Reb. says:

        @Sunshine2Serenity: You would not believe how often these guy pry into wanting the details. I tell them the past is the past and they want DETAILS! Lol. I think they are just curious.

    • Josh says:

      You should dump him. Obviously you are confident enough to get someone better than him.

  76. Reb. says:

    After spending the weekend with a new SD, he lectured me saying I act “cold” around him and that the feelings seem one way because I never “FLIRT”. Flirt!! The man is almost 80 years old. I complimented his clothes and said he was handsome, but I guess he wanted someone handsy all day like how a stripper acts overly interested to get you to buy another dance. I was his first arrangement and he even admitted he can be unrealistic. My last 3 SDs have been in their 70’s. I think it’s time to go back to 40 years old.

    • lovelynyours says:

      I’m not sure what the age gap was since I don’t know how old you are, but I find men in general appreciate a woman who knows how to flirt. That doesn’t mean being physically all over him, really – it just means knowing how to convey your attraction for him when you’re with him. Whether it’s a touch to the hand or knee, that twinkle in your eye, or just witty banter and charm, men – especially older ones – like to get an overall feeling of desire from you. I haven’t dated men quite that old, but I’ve always had a preference for older men, so in time I’ve discovered how many of them differ to younger ones. With many older guys, it isn’t enough to smile, be pretty, and be positive.

      Sorry it didn’t work out, but perhaps it’ll be good to switch it up this time and go younger! 45-50 has been the sweet spot, I’ve found. Not so young that they’re not secure in themselves and haven’t figured out chivalry yet, and not so old that him and I have little in common. Obviously these are generalizations, but I’ve encountered a pattern. :)

      • Reb. says:

        I am in my 20’s. You’re right. I should have touched his hand more, etc. since people have different “love languages” and compliments didn’t hit his spot. I just wanted it to come off as natural and I worried if I touched him, he’d want sex all day thanks to Viagra.

      • lovelynyours says:

        Gotcha. Compliments rarely feel sincere to me, unless they’re crafted so they don’t sound standard or cliche, so I don’t dish them out unless they’re to someone I know well (or feel like I know well). But that’s me – other people are great at dishing compliments. So since it doesn’t work for me, I connect using body language instead – it just feels more genuine since I’m a touchy feely person who uses her hands to talk a lot anyway. It’s all about figuring out what works for you, figuring out what works for him, and adjusting accordingly. If you truly like him, I’d try to get another shot – seems like a silly thing to next someone for if you two just got started.

    • hototrot1 says:

      @Reb

      I’m pretty much like you at this point. I was married for almost a decade to a man who was 2 years younger than me. A deeply immature man. So I rebelled afterwards going after men as old as my grandfather. But, you know what? A lot of older men can be just as immature as the younger guys. It just depends on the man. I see now that a lot of the issues I had with my soon-to-be-ex had a lot to do with our age gap among other things. Mr. M is 55 and he’s very much the Papa Bear, but still young enough to be plugged into the world. But, that’s his individual characteristics. I must admit, it feels very comfortable. No more blank stares. LOL

      • Reb. says:

        In my experience, immaturity is more of delusion when age increases. The SD I talked about said he isn’t “attracted to older women”. Well, how do you think a 25 year old woman would feel towards you? He is actively seeking 30-45 on a regular dating site and admitted none of the younger women respond. He said he hates when women wear shorts or revealing clothing on the street because he can’t have them. He said it riles him up and they’re to blame. LOL.
        I think being in an arrangement until he dies would make him the happiest, but with someone else who isn’t genuine and can give the illusion of “Oh, we just met and I am totally in love with you! *giggle*” I can’t give him that. -_-

      • hototrot1 says:

        @Reb
        Your old guy sounds like my 65 year old platonic friend. He’s always complaining that 45 year old women “don’t know what they want, I’m trying to give older women a chance.” Hahaha King of delusion. He thinks if he’s not going for 20’s somethings, everything above that age is the same age as him. He can’t wrap his head around the fact that the women he’s “giving a chance” could be his daughters! I find that some men, especially if they’ve never had children or long-standing traditional relationships, can have a big disconnect with reality. But it’s all a case by case situation. My 55 year old treats me like a kid, which is strange to me. But, I’ll take it!

      • Reb. says:

        “My 55 year old treats me like a kid, which is strange to me. But, I’ll take it!” My SD straight up says he enjoys teaching me things and acting like a father figure. Ummm.. I have a dad, but thanks lol. One thing I do like about the older men is that they have SO much better manners. He’d stand up when I’d leave the table and insists that he walks on the side of the street.

      • hototrot1 says:

        @Reb
        “One thing I do like about the older men is that they have SO much better manners. He’d stand up when I’d leave the table and insists that he walks on the side of the street.”

        Oh, that’s the best part! Manners can go a long way. Just don’t mistake them for character. An old boyfriend of mine had perfect manners but no soul. wink.

    • Anonymous says:

      “…and I worried if I touched him, he’d want sex all day thanks to Viagra.”
      Viagra does not make a man “want” sex, it is not an aphrodisiac. It just keeps him hard when he is at it.
      Never understand women whining about man wanting sex. This is the easiest thing to do.
      If I were you, I would worry about him not wanting sex. And his mind wondering, maybe that new fishing boat is a lot more fun for the money.

      • gentleman soul says:

        If you want an SD around for any length of time you had best cultivate your sexuality or your acting-whether you are feeling it or not . Most married men are here because our wives have that particular attitude about sex

        Sugars ,if you are looking for true love shop on traditional dating sites.

    • gentleman soul says:

      Acting ! Josh touched on this many times but all men IMHO -not just geezers-want the appearance of love and passion. The real thing is always nice but at least act like you are excited to be with him and can’t keep your hands off . @ Lovely has it right . I am not surprised that my 20 yr old SB is not feeling intense passion for a 60 + yr old granddad, but as long as she acts like it I am immensely happy-and thus will open the wallet with pleasure.

      • gentleman soul says:

        @Reb
        The SD I talked about said he isn’t “attracted to older women”. Well, how do you think a 25 year old woman would feel towards you?
        Oh, we just met and I am totally in love with you! *giggle*” I can’t give him that. -_-

        Well, you are not the right girl for most SDs Reb. I ,for one, want a passionate lover, not a polite executive assistant.

      • lovelynyours says:

        I mean, I get what Reb’s saying. I’m not actually a very good actress, myself, to be frank. That’s why in order for a guy to be my SD, he has to have the qualities that I find attractive – I’m not interested in faking it. Now, my definition of attractive is perhaps different than some SBs, so there’s that. Women who are great actresses will be most successful. I tend to find the good in (almost) everyone, and so I find attraction easier than some. But regardless, I make sure I’m always genuine. It has to come from a real place for me.

      • Sunshine2Serenity says:

        @Lovely
        Agreed completely!
        I’m so happy to have two SDs that I adore and find very attractive.
        I’m not a huge fan of PDA but in private O_O. I do hold hands discretely or take his arm and if we’re in a secluded corner inside I like to kiss (no French though lol). I find just moving my chair closer and touching their leg expresses my feelings very well. It can feel a bit odd at first if you’re not naturally affectionate so quickly but it is a middle ground between being very reserved and making out on the table lol.

    • zito says:

      almost 80…for fuck sake…..you mean woman, why werent you all up on pop pops lap….ewwwe…..lol

    • IHF2030 says:

      Reb…You should stick with the elderly guys.

  77. hototrot1 says:

    For some reason I’ve mostly been with “pretty” types. Even Old Daddy was a beauty in his youth and unafraid of plastic surgery to maintain. New guy is suave and sexy, but has the face of a bruiser. Not ugly, but far from pretty. Strong, masculine, solid-looking. A man’s man. I don’t know his political leanings and frankly don’t wanna know. That’s my new policy. We share a love of theatre, movies, music, arts, pop culture. We get each other’s jokes. Do I want to discuss current topics with him? No. That’s for friends and family. We come from different worlds so we’re sure to see the world very differently. What’s the point of discussing it, not like we’re making any babies and planning a life together. I just need to know he’s a good person and that he does right by me.

    Also… he has a way with words. Never thought I’d really be an attracted to an American man in a real way. I’ve always dated foreign for the most part. But, he’s deeply American, but has a culture and refinement you always assume is found elsewhere. OK, I’ll stop gushing! Just happy and wanting to brag a little. Sorry.

  78. SD On Chat says:

    Finally found a most effective way to successfully communicate with members here.
    1) Search… and search national if your willing to coordinate travel.
    2) Favor… anyone just from the summary page that appeals to you.
    3) Search favored / recent activity… and do a quick message.

    Timing is everything.
    Comments and other suggestions welcome!

  79. lovelynyours says:

    I’m planning on changing up my photos today to tell the right kind of story; I’m feeling like I’m all over the place in that category. That said, would the SDs mind taking a look and telling me which ones to axe, if any, and what types of pics would be great to add to boost the appeal factor? Evening gown photos? Makeup free photos? What pics will round this out in a manner that will target a high quality, business-minded/executive SD looking for a BizBaby? Note that I have a cropped version that removes the guy from that pic; it’s just pending approval. Also, I do intend to delete the grainy selfie – I just need to take a sharper one to replace it and haven’t gotten around to that, yet – my smartphone camera’s garbage these days. My ID is ec81095c. Thanks!

  80. flyR says:

    I think one of the biggest mistakes in SB profiles is trying to appeal to too wide an audience.

    if you are looking for a sustainable relationship then it is pretty important that a) you are comfortable with him as in having SEX with him b) that he finds you compatible after sex if it is more that a hotel room quickie c) that he wants something which you have that is not common to the masses of SB’s.

    Rather than get some members spooled up with another salt story , go to the Apple store and deeply all the sensors from the moment you approach the door. Everything from the architecture to the packaging to the people working there is designed to create a unique customer experience. As a customer I love it. As a small shareholder I love it even more . You don’t see price haggling you see quality goods , carefully packaged and marketed for premium prices.

    For the SD the experience begins when he sees your profile lead picture and title from a search, opens the profile, sends a note , receives a reply.

    The folks at the Apple store recognize the tire kickers and humor them briefly and then move on to the real customers. Before you reply to the first note from a prospect ask yourself what interests him ( or her)

  81. sugar baby monkey says:

    i can’t use a pic to post here. damn

  82. Goddess says:

    So much fun with Pot SD this weekend. Don’t think it will go beyond this weekend but we both had a blast. Woohoo, jetskis! :)

    • Stephanie says:

      ahh lucky, I am full of wonderlust and want to try!

      • Goddess says:

        Ha, they are fun, I think I prefer on the ocean to the lake even though you can’t go half as fast. The waves make it even more fun. The lake is best for waterskiing or tubing. Hi Stephanie! :)

      • Stephanie says:

        Hey there 😀 I love tubing omg, I have the greatest summer memories tubing and me flying off LOL too fun

      • hototrot1 says:

        Tubing sounds like great fun. The last water sport I attempted was kayaking. Like I said, I “attempted”. I admire the adventurous, athletic types.

    • hototrot1 says:

      Happy for you, Goddess! Sounds like the perfect fit. My newly sealed and minted SD (squee!!) are planning a Thursday love-in at a fancy hotel mid-city. Not as exciting as what you’re doing, but fun nonetheless. Consummation time!!

      He called last night while I was working and feeling my least glamorous and basically made the proposal to be my man. The SD version of marriage lol. I was caught off guard. He laid everything out on the table. He’s a big planner (a little controlling, but I like) and basically ironed out all of the rules. He said we’ll be together until I find someone who I can have a future with or the guilt eats him up about his marital situation. Fair enough.

      I needed this good news. Been a rough week with ill family and such. Isn’t that what Good Sugar is suppose to do? Lift us up and take us from our troubles. Mutual satisfaction indeed.

      • hototrot1 says:

        Thought long and hard about it, but will take the plunge and end it with my other SD. I’m taking a leap of faith into the abyss of the unknown, but it’s only fair. We haven’t talked in over a week. He’s up in the Hamptons doing whatever it is he does up there. Major disconnect with us these days. Time for new start. Sex with two men really isn’t my style. Not when I have real feelings for one. Mr. M said some pretty intense, romantic things last night that no one has ever said to me. Butterflies. Maybe I’m being silly, but he won me.

      • hototrot1 says:

        Ironically, it’s the 55 year old man, Mr. M who goes on and on about how much older he is than me. Funny, because I feel old as hell. lol He looks much younger than he is, and is current with most pop references. He seems more like a peer. But he has adult children and doesn’t live in Manhattan, maybe that mentally ages him.

      • Goddess says:

        Awww thanks hottotrot!!! I’m excited for you too. I haven’t had the romantic “instant click” thing happen yet. M Pot had many sexy things about him though. His eyes, hair and the way he drives his car. If he finds someone he likes I’m sure it’ll be magical but we’re not well matched I think. He kind of detached as the weekend was wrapping up, not that I cared because some time away from home was pretty much all I needed. :)

      • hototrot1 says:

        @Goddess
        “M Pot had many sexy things about him though. His eyes, hair and the way he drives his car.”

        Oh, it’s the little details isn’t it. That’s how you know you like someone. You notice every.single.thing.

        Glad you got out, even though you’d didn’t feel that spark. How will you know if you don’t go?

    • Traveling Man says:

      Roadman1492@att (dot)net. ;))

  83. Stephanie says:

    @crypticanomaly

    Hey I posted it like 5,000 times lol here is the link https://www.seekingarrangement.com/member/e7b97d4f/view

  84. Josh says:

    @Cryptic

    The decay of any system starts from the top.

    Most, if not all, of the SB problems will go away IF/WHEN SA stops egging them on proactively and persistently.

    • Stephanie says:

      an sb should be smart enough to be able to conduct themselves and know how to present themselves to the SD she wants. This is just space for both parties to connect yes?

      • crypticanomaly says:

        Hi Steph, yes in my opinion many SB’s forget that the SD is the client, the way many of the profiles read it is like the SB thinks that she is the client and that the SD is the vendor that is not the case at all. Post a link to your profile or the name of it and we can check your profile out for you.

      • Goddess says:

        @crypticanomaly, “relationship on your terms” is right. FOR BOTH PARTIES. Also just like you can find kinky guys on regular dating sites, the same stands for benefactors. You have to learn to network intelligently to find what you want rather than eggs in one basket.

      • crypticanomaly says:

        @Goddess-The way I see it the SB is paid the agreed amount, is taken places/dines etc for free. Obviously it all happens at agreed times and schedules. I would say that I am holding up my end of the deal, it is when I see profile after profile where the woman lists all these demands and expectations and yet hasn’t once mentioned what she brings to the table.

        That is when I move on to the next one.

  85. cryptic anomaly says:

    @Elaine-

    The original discussion was far below and I don’t like indent anymore than the others do.

    Quality makes for an interesting topic. What is quality exactly? A hard bodied 18 year old who asides from her looks doesn’t have anything else to offer and just expects payment for appearing? I even see unattractive women expecting High and Substantial allowances on top of being “Treated like a Queen”.

    I have found there is little pattern on here as far as “Value” or “Quality” go. Also SD’s will vary with what they are looking for. A SD regardless of his monetary worth who just wants to have sex for the night will be just as happy to spend $200 for P4P for a woman who may not be as attractive as the one who is expecting $1000 a night for the same thing.

    But perhaps the difference in attractiveness is offset by the $200 a night girl being easier to get along with, less demanding and instead of being a 10 she might be a 7 or 8. That said not every “10” expects or wants $1000 either so you can get a 10 without paying a high price.

    I also agree with what Rem said, I don’t even worry about exclusivity. It’s not something I can control. She may promise me that and then go home to her boyfriend or husband etc. I just don’t know for sure so it doesn’t have any value to me if she is seeing many or just me at least to the point of wanting to pay more for something that she can easily lie about.

    You also mentioned that paying less could mean that the SD himself is replaced. Again I don’t see paying more as a way of securing a long term deal or protection against being replaced.

    In the end it all comes down to what the SD is wanting overall and what the SB is willing to provide and is able to provide. Not just sexually but time, how warm and genuine she really is etc. If all the SD is after is sex then in most cases he will not be wanting to spend too much on that as it is a fleeting moment and then he moves on. Quality doesn’t matter, kind of like renting a mansion to live in rather than an apartment, why pay all that rent on something that you will never have long term?

    • Elaine says:

      @Rembodler

      “I understand that is what you and many other pro-SBs want men to think”.
      ——————————————————————————————————–
      No Rem, wrong, that is not what I WANT to think, it is WHAT I actually think might be one of the reasons.
      Remember, it is not ME complaining about having difficulties to find serious SBs!
      What I complain about, is the overall quality running down proportionally as SA member numbers getting up.
      I never complain about being stood up, or not being able to finding quality. (and yes I agree @Cryptic, there is different criteria for quality, maybe “serious” would be a better description)
      But it is still there, just apply the right search criteria. :-)

      And as far as being a “Pro-SB”;
      If trying to keep my benefactor very happy, trying to be the best mistress ever, being buffed and polished, being discreet, being available, having the best sex ever, going that extra mile, treating him like a king, not nagging, not claiming, not causing drama, not even thinking about blackmailing, or calling their wives when it comes to an end makes me a “pro-SB”?
      Yes, then I am definitely treating this in a “professional” way.
      And if you call me a “pro-SB” for that, I’ll wear that title as a crown.

      ———————————————————————————————————
      “Well…An older SB has to compensate for the lack of youth with something.”
      ———————————————————————————————————
      Again wrong, my target SDs are not looking for a young SB, so I have nothing to compensate in that field. I only need to try to be the best in MY age group.

      Funny you only pick out one of the qualities I mentioned, being exclusivity.
      Thought that would be an important issue for someone who prefers “bareback” ?
      And no, you cannot check that.
      Now THAT is what’s called trust.
      And trust is exactly what seems to be lacking in a lot of sugar arrangements.

  86. sugar baby monkey says:

    please anyone can help me finally with my question please??????????????????????

    i want to know what to do for put an image and register my monkey name?????? pleaseeeee

  87. GeorgiaPeach12 says:

    Obviously someone here does not want me here, regardless of what I say.
    SA are you watching this stupidity. If they do it to me, suspect they are or will do to others. Not appropriate and not fair.

    • crypticanomaly says:

      I have mentioned the report function, I don’t know why some posts are being targeted. Also the ones doing the reporting get to stay hidden which I think is wrong.

      • GeorgiaPeach12 says:

        Honey, I agree. I don’t think I’ve said anything wrong about anything lately. LOL That is a stupid set up for SA to use. It just lets those who do the “reporting” hide behind a mask. Thanks Sweetie. Damn you are so HOT tonight!

    • Catcher 22 says:

      The removal of @British’s post and Miss Peach’s reply IS disturbing. No one poster, or group of three posters, should have such power. If a post is reported three or more times, only the Blog Moderator should have authority to evaluate and remove for cause, if deemed necessary.

      • GeorgiaPeach12 says:

        @Catcher22
        That’s “Ms.” Peach to you Sir.
        I’m probably old enough to be your Momma, but in sexier way. LOL

    • Catcher 22 says:

      NOW someone is maliciously deleting @Jay’s posts . She has not been heard from for almost an hour! LOL

      • Jaybird923 says:

        @Catcher Really? LOL Maybe it’s retaliation for complaining about the other post being deleted. Who knows….

      • Jaybird923 says:

        @catcher haha smart ass….you got me :) I wasn’t really paying attention earlier. Good one

    • flyR says:

      Message to SA

      DON’T SQUASH THE PEACH

  88. Josh says:

    @Stephanie

    Here are the factors that affect your success with SDs.

    1. You attitude toward men.
    2. Photos.
    3. Profile.
    4. Engagement.
    5. Terms sought.

    Most people talk about 2-5 but as the Guru, I focus on #1, and call SBs out when I sense overt or covert toxic attitude toward men.

    • crypticanomaly says:

      Usually 1 and 5 will go hand in hand. A woman who doesn’t like men or sees men as a means to get money (ie Entitlement) will have unrealistic demands as she will feel the need to be compensated for having to spend time with one on top of everything else she is expecting.

      This also effects 4 as she will be rather blase in her engagement with thinking that men are just stupid horny dogs who will fall over themselves to get to her. So her messages will lack warmth.

    • Stephanie says:

      https://www.seekingarrangement.com/member/e7b97d4f/view link to my profile I’m thinking maybe I just haven’t clicked with the right one. I think that’s good that you do that though, someone should tell them lol.

  89. Stephanie says:

    I don’t know why but I am having the worst time finding a SD. I am a new SB, I’m not a brat i’m pretty neutral which I think really stands me out from alot of the choices. I’m not a prostitute, I”m fairly good looking and my profile is nice sweet and to the point. I just don’t understand.

    • zito says:

      lets see your profile, maybe we can help improve it

      • Stephanie says:

        yeah take a look and be honest with me maybe there is something I’m just not seeing. Thanks.

    • crypticanomaly says:

      Want to post a link to your profile and we can have a look for you? Although in most cases even if the profile is great if the SB isn’t engaging the Pot SD via messages than he will probably get bored and move on.

    • flyR says:

      @Stephanie – You don’t say if your are not getting any responses, getting junk responses or getting attractive responses but not able to reach an arrangement.

      If you care to disclose the link to your profile you will get a lot of comments, mostly brutally honest, some shotgun and some just deliberately mean. If you sit back and watch the discussion you’ll get a lot of clues.

      Everything in your profile should have a specific, mission oriented purpose . Your profile needs to help your target SD visualize how you will add more value to his life than the allowance. The value of various components varies by the type of SD you hope to attract.

      Think of an effective automobile ad……. It does not start out with This car has four wheels, one motor, shinny paint and a 50,000 mile warranty. Rather it speaks to what owning and driving the vehicle will do for the target audience.

  90. Josh says:

    Where did @GeorgiaPeach’s post go?

    • Jaybird923 says:

      That’s what I’m talking about she didn’t say anything offensive. they need to get rid of the report button

  91. Josh says:

    Where did @GeorgiaPeach’s post go?

  92. crypticanomaly says:

    test. Ok it seems one person can only report a post once. So it would be 3 different people or 3 different log ins belonging to the same person.

  93. GeorgiaPeach12 says:

    So this means that if someone here simply doesn’t “like” you, they can report you 3 times and your comment is automatically deleted? Geez, what crap. That’s certainly not fair to all.

    • crypticanomaly says:

      Yep, just ask Josh lol.

      There doesn’t seem to be any rhyme or reason to the reporting. We all say some pretty full on stuff here at times and no one reports it but then you get posts that aren’t offensive at all and people jump on them.

    • Catcher 22 says:

      The removal of @British’s very inocuous post and Miss Peach’s reply IS disturbing. No one poster, or group of three posters, should have such power. If a post is reported three or more times, only the Blog Moderator should have authority to evaluate and remove for cause, if deemed necessary.

  94. crypticanomaly says:

    @Jay and Catcher – I didn’t delete the posts. They were reported 3 times and as a result that removes them. I have mentioned that automated removal system and that it should still be up to the Mod in the end. Even GA Peach’s post was removed due to this.

    So it is 3 users who are removing these posts by their reporting them, not a Moderator going crazy.

    I also agree if people are going to report a post they should have to identify themselves (User name) and explain why they think it is offensive.

    • Jaybird923 says:

      I wasn’t blaming you. I was talking about the report comment button and the low number that’s required to have a post deleted. and how does the system know it’s not the same person reporting the comment multiple times?

      • crypticanomaly says:

        That’s the problem, I am not sure if it does. 3 reports seems very little anyhow when you consider how many people are watching these forums without posting. I tried to re-instate the removed posts but it seems it can’t be done, not by me anyway.

  95. Jaybird923 says:

    This moderator thing is getting a little out of hand. there needs to be some checks and balances. There’s no reason why that post from the British are here should have been removed.

    • Catcher 22 says:

      @Jay. I agree. No reason to remove that post. I did not agree with his Hillary endorsement, but certainly would not report such a comment. Moderator should only remove posts that are vile in nature such as @DaBomb”s or are personally insulting or hateful to other posters.

      • Jaybird923 says:

        I knew that was going to be a problem from the beginning. I rather have a blog that’s not moderated than to have one that’s over regulated. When a small minority have the power to control what the majority post it’s a recipe for abuse.

        It’s too easy to click report comment. you should actually have to fill out a complaint form. If you truly find it offensive you won’t have a problem doing to extra work to report it.

    • crypticanomaly says:

      @Jay and Catcher – I didn’t delete the posts. They were reported 3 times and as a result that removes them. I have mentioned that automated removal system and that it should still be up to the Mod in the end. Even GA Peach’s post was removed due to this.

      So it is 3 users who are removing these posts by their reporting them, not a Moderator going crazy.

  96. The British Are Here says:

    This is a great article! I love the concept of using Seeking Arrangements to Empower women! Bring on the girl power! As for the Hillary and Bernie comments, ummm not sure this is the proper social media platform for that. Nevertheless ~ Vote 4 Hillary! #Hillary2016

    • GeorgiaPeach12 says:

      I don’t think so.
      Besides the fact this site is not a political arena for Hillary or others. Poor taste, British. We’ve already chased out once, wasn’t that enough? LOL

    • Bernie says:

      @British: No objection to Girl Power. Elizabeth W, Si Hillary, NO. More baggage than Samsonite.

  97. Hilary says:

    It’s MY Party! And I’ll cry if I want to !

  98. Bernie says:

    Bring her ON !!

  99. flyR says:

    cryptic

    a) I think they should have some upper limit on how many first messages a person can send in a day. This would choke off some of the spammers . Perhaps the allowance is 20 individual first contacts a day.

    b) I am a great believer in encouraging SB’s ( and SD’s) not to reply to obnoxious contacts . Showing those who do not respond might penalize those who ignore messages . You could have an additional burn option which would signify that it was an inappropriate contact
    Reply
    Erase
    Burn
    Block

    Burn would erase the message and notify SA If there was a high number of burn selections SA may want to suspend the person.

    finally-thanks for bringing good order and discipline to the blog

    • cryptic anomaly says:

      That’s true as well. Sometimes you don’t respond because the sender just looks wrong for whatever reason. I think we can all agree SA needs to work on it’s quality rather than quantity.

      I’ll pass on your feedback.

      Thanks for the compliment too!

  100. lovelynyours says:

    So in the interest of remaining on the market while I explore this new non-exclusive thing, I’m thinking of getting my account background verified. SDs, particularly those who are/were premium members, have you guys ever filtered for background verified women? Is that something that really does give you more incentive to get to know a woman, or do you think this is more a ploy by SA to further their revenue stream?

    • flyR says:

      In answer to your question – no I do not ever filter for background verified

      Additional comment
      I’m probably the 1 in 100,000 who has actually read the terms of being background verified (including the typos) and understand that you are giving up all rights to your information and that your recourse is limited to suing the firm in their home town (might have been binding arbitration as it has been a couple of years)

      If anyone seriously wants to find out the ID of people here they probably can but I think going the background verify route leaves a much larger footprint in the sand.

      Finally, it is a red flag for me in that a disproportionately large % of background verified SB profiles seem to be backpage professionals using SA as another marketing channel.

      This is just one OPINION (other than the facts of the user agreement)

      • flyR says:

        Further Background Verification Comment

        I took a quick look and realized you have to provide your address, SSN and birthdate. For the SD the benefits of a backgrounded SB are only that she has not been caught stealing a felonious amount of silverware, shot or stabbed an unwary SD and been convicted or has a conviction for a cartel sized drug deal.

        For the SB it does weed out violent felons and sexual predators who have been convicted .

    • Amber B. says:

      I think it’s a marketing ploy. I wouldn’t do it. SA just wants to increase their revenue. Besides, do you pay particular attention to the men who are verified?

      • lovelynyours says:

        I do, actually. It gives me a little peace of mind, knowing they don’t have some sordid or sketchy criminal past and knowing that their age and location is spot on. But you’re right, it could be a ploy, which is why I posted here to see what you all thought.

    • crypticanomaly says:

      I have noticed it doesn’t make any actual difference in terms of the amount of responses, the quality or likely chance it will be a successful contact. So no, I don’t filter for verified nor do I filter at all as I like to see all the SB’s on offer.

    • Elaine says:

      @Lovely

      I have been considering that, years ago when I joined SA.
      But never ended up doing it, because from the beginning I attract the men I wanted, so I forgot about it.

      Until lately someone (who got verified!) was telling me that you could get background checked, on, let’s say age, or location, but then you can just change those afterwards in your profile?

      Don’t know exactly how it worked, but if that indeed is true, what added value does being verified have anyway?

      Once you passed your check, you can make up complete bogus on your profile, and still got the “verified” icon?!

      • flyR says:

        background checked is focused on bringing up false ID ( name, birthday and SSN must match , may also verify address and past addresses.

    • Catcher 22 says:

      I hardly ever notice the “background verified” status of an SB profile and do not use it as a search parameter. I agree with @Amber. It is a ploy to enhance revenue.

    • lovelynyours says:

      Thanks, all!

  101. crypticanomaly says:

    I have confirmed that there is a 3 Strikes and your post is pending approval policy. Josh that is why your other post has gone missing. I didn’t see it as offensive as such as you were responding to someone else’s post which could also have been deemed as offensive.

    I have passed on what has been discussed here,

    *Report Button needs to be moved and reported posts not deleted until a Mod has decided to do so.
    *Indent unpopular.
    *Rating system for Members. I am now thinking an ultra simple system which just says how often someone actually responds to messages similar to OKCupid. If nothing else it will tell you how serious someone is.

    If anyone else has anything you want me to pass on or you think I have forgotten something please let me know.

    • Catcher 22 says:

      @Jay: Romney is a Dom SD. Not a flipper/flopper. Don’t you remember his “binders of women”? He loves keeping his SBs bound.

      • Jaybird923 says:

        @Catcher LOL first you still haven’t gotten the hang of this new format you posted under the wrong comment. And yes I remember his “binders of women” but I didn’t know he was a Dom. I might have voted for him if I knew :-))

  102. crypticanomaly says:

    It would really help if it didn’t take some of you SB’s 2 weeks to respond to a message. Just saying.

    • Sunshine2Serenity says:

      Delete delete delete lol.
      I’m replying daily and I’ve noted in my profile that I barely have time to eat I’m so busy this week (intensive subject at uni). It’s eat, sleep, study. If they’re serious there is no reason why they can’t recieve alerts on their phone when they recieve a message.

      • crypticanomaly says:

        It can get time consuming, I have lagged behind several times now but then I am not looking for someone to pay me either. It’s like you say if they are serious about this then they should be logging on at least every couple of days/getting alerts etc.

      • flyR says:

        Sunshine – one of the most unbelievable things I was told in undergrad school was a prof with a lot of experience – when you look back in the future most likely you will be amazed at the amount of free time you had in undergrad school. Assuming you have a career and perhaps a family you’ll probably see the wisdom.

        Sugar inquiries are perishable. SD or SB who is writing is generally on the hunt. Don’t blame the writers if they move on in a few days without an answer. If you are interested nothing more than, ” really liked what you wrote but I am in the middle of finals. Will write in a couple of days…. Thanks for the understanding. ”

        elapsed time 10 seconds.

        I’ll bet that you squander far more time than required for this type of reply on social media, family emails etc in a day than it would take for a week of quick replies

      • Sunshine2Serenity says:

        It’s not a usual uni subject. I’m leaving at 5:30 and getting home at 8. So not slacking. That said my profile is off search as I’m happy with my current arrangements :). As I said I reply daily/when I eat although I have a disclaimer in my profile that I am busy so I cannot respond to the length that I usually do. While SDs may be on the hunt I find replying daily works fine. Both of my arrangements resulted out of long term contact :).

  103. cryptic anomaly says:

    “””Nothing I resent more than having to fight stereotypes that have nothing to do with my culture just because my skin happens to be same.”””

    For a start everyone does it. Doesn’t make it right but it is human nature especially when talking with someone online that we don’t know. We make judgments on what we see before we decide if we want to message a person or not.

    I was chatting to a Potential SB months ago, she was 29, White, from a well to do middle class family, still at University studying her 4th artsy type course that would be of little value to her in the future.

    Anyway, coming from where I did a part of Melbourne that was lower working class, born to immigrant parents, she was the type of girl I would chase in High School, I guess that whole opposites attract thing. So we started chatting and we got into a conversation about how males and females communicate online, that kind of thing interests me as I deal a lot with human behaviour and psychology in my job.

    I challenged her beliefs a couple too many times and she fired back the only way a Leftie knows how to, she attacked me, at this stage she knew nothing about my background. Her response was “What would you know! You’re a middle aged White man in a world where Middle Aged White men are considered Gods!” Ummm yeah and you want my money?!

    The fact she knew nothing about me, that she comes from a better family and upbringing, better area than myself never even factored in to her equations. I am a man and therefore have some kind of special privilege even though I found my own way in life and she is hoping to leech off someone else so she can study nonsense.

    So like it or not people will make assumptions. Yes fuck them, but if you are complaining that no one is messaging you, if you are wondering what you might be doing wrong than you need to look at everything objectively even if at the end you decide to say fuck the world and it’s bullshit.

    • IHF2030 says:

      Leftists are incapable of intelligent discourse; they babble or shriek hysterically. They annoy me and I could never have a relationship with any woman who voted for Obama, not even once.

      • crypticanomaly says:

        Exactly right. Point out facts to them they get upset, point out their hypocrisy they scream insults. They know their side doesn’t make any sense.

      • Bernie says:

        So true. No lefty blonde sugar baby for me!

      • Jaybird923 says:

        Yes because Palin/Mccain was such a better option and lets not forget that flip flopper Romney that even the republicans didn’t want until it became obvious that he was the only viable candidate they had left.

      • crypticanomaly says:

        @Jay-Both sides of politics are about control they are just coming at it from different different political agendas. The problem in America is you only have 2 parties which makes it harder in my opinion. In Australia we have a number of parties so it does provide more options as all our major parties Left or Right are trying to sell us out.

      • Bernie says:

        Power to the People!

      • Jaybird923 says:

        @Jay-Both sides of politics are about control they are just coming at it from different different political agendas. The problem in America is you only have 2 parties which makes it harder in my opinion. In Australia we have a number of parties so it does provide more options as all our major parties Left or Right are trying to sell us out.
        @Cryptic I agree with you our system isn’t perfect and it limits our choices but until about eight years ago I still had to reasonable candidate to choose from. I’m a little liberal on some issues and ultra conservative on others. Like I said I’m middle of the road. My problem is being forced to vote for lesser of two evils because the right has become the party of extremes.

        All the moderate republicans are pandering to the minority of their party instead of the majority. They’ve created a monster with the Tea Party now they don’t know how to tame it. The vocal minority has become the face of the republican party.

        Every time you speak to a conservative IRL they tell you everyone isn’t like that if that’s the case which I know it is why won’t you guys start distancing your selves instead of getting in line to drink the Kool-aid.

      • Catcher 22 says:

        @Jay: Romney is a Dom SD. Not a flipper/flopper. Don’t you remember his “binders of women?” He loves keeping his SBs bound.

    • Amber B. says:

      I just couldn’t help but chuckle at the “She is hoping to leech off someone else so she can study nonsense” part !!!!!

      Anywhos, I agree.. EVERYONE stereotypes, whether they choose to admit it or not. We can’t help the schemas that develop in our brains. Imagine a fire fighter — 99.99% chance the image that appeared in your mind was a male. Stereotyping or developing schemas (because stereotyping has such a negative connotation) is just a part of human behavior that you can’t truly control. Unless, of course, you make a effortful choice to do so.

      • crypticanomaly says:

        You could make an effort to avoid it but then you get what we have now which is a Politically Correct Gulag where no one says anything for fear of causing offence. Is being offended really that bad? And does tip toeing around each other and denying facts really making anything better or more peaceful? I would suggest that the evidence around us says not at all.

        Glad to make you chuckle as well. All these perpetual students who are raking up huge student loans and then panicking just amuses me.

      • IHF2030 says:

        Amber-baby you have a great attitude and winning personality to go along with your obvious physical attributes; so I’m certain you will do well in the sugarbowl.

      • Amber B. says:

        Thank you @IHF2030 :) What a pity you are only into caucasian women. Hahaha.

        I don’t know what the rest of the young, 21 Y/O babies are doing, but apparently they’re all just a bunch of carbon copies of a “Sugar Baby 101” Google Search.

      • Jaybird923 says:

        I understand what you’re getting at but that’s not really an apt analogy. Most people would think a fire fighther is male based on pure statistical facts that are easily verified. That is a male dominated profession if you call for a fire fighter 9 times out of 10 a man will show up.

        That’s different than some one seeing a white man an assuming he’s racist, that he never had to struggle or he inherited his money from his family. Or seeing a black woman and assuming she’s loud, obnoxious, angry, etc. Or seeing an Asian woman and assuming she’s passive, submissive, etc.

        These are not verifiable facts based on statistics. It’s stuff people apply to others based on ignorance.

    • Sunshine2Serenity says:

      Stereotypes are short hand for the brain so that it can get everything done while working on autopilot.
      They can be defeated with concious effort which with practice trains even the unconscious on how to act.
      I’m all for facts and statistics. What grinds my gears is when someone tells me that climate change isn’t real because they saw a documentary or someone said it on TV. Really? You’re going to believe some random over someone who is trained in the scientific method? Not all evidence is equal. Give me peer reviewed journal sources or something credible like the ABS (statistics bureau here) and I’m happy to be persuaded. If it’s an experiment – double blind, randomised, placebo controlled with a decent sample size. If not well that needs to be factored in. Please please please if you’re smart and intelligent don’t give me some crap about reading it in the newspaper (as one SD did) – we both know they’re full of shit.

      • crypticanomaly says:

        The climate isn’t a consistent entity. It does vary. It varied well before humans and/or factories existed when there was an Ice Age. What grinds me is there is studies and evidence to prove that it isn’t happening as much as what the Greenies are saying, it used to be called Global Warming and then they found we weren’t warming that much so now they are calling it Climate Change for example. When people start to change the name of things it is usually a good example of it not being what they are saying it is.

        Anyway, there is plenty of studies to refute Climate Change but the Left like to stomp out freedom so you rarely get to hear about it or see it.

      • Sunshine2Serenity says:

        I’d be interested to read these studies if you have them handy :).

      • cryptic anomaly says:

        @Sunshine – I just PM’d you the links.

      • Sunshine2serenity says:

        Awesome I’ll check them out :).

      • Anonymous says:

        To follow on Crypitc’s post there’s now some studies showing that we face a period of reduced sun activity and much colder temperatures. When Global Warming was cooling they changed it to climate change. For the shallow end of the gene pool there used to be glaciers across much of the northern part of the US .

        Also as he notes anybody who disagrees with the current leftist spell is targeted – adios freedom of speech .

        Sunshine – what the leaked emails from the primary English center on Global Warming / Climate Change showed was that there was a documented effort to prevent the publication of any peer reviewed criticism of the global warming theory in order to prevent the publication of articles critical of the theory. Understand that there are hundreds of billions to be made from carbon credits, taxpayer subsidies of “green energy”, In California we pay a carbon tax of $.50 per gallon of gas ( in addition to all the other taxes). My utilities contain huge hidden taxes to subsidize “green energy ” and then to subsidize low income folks who can not afford the green energy.

        While we are obsessed with squandering our national wealth to enrich the banksters and insiders, we ignore the far more pressing threat posed by a nuclear Iran, virtually assured under the current negotiations. We survived the cold war because the Russian leaders wanted to live more than they wanted to kill us. With N Korea , Iran and a Taliban run Pakistan there’s no such assurance and all three will have the capability in this decade to deliver a primitive EMP attack after which 150 – 300 million will perish from starvation and disease and the pestilence of non-believers will be removed from the earth .

    • flyR says:

      It always amazed me that women love Hillary despite the fact that she managed the bimbo eruption team which either attacked or extorted silence out of the many women whom Bill had sex with including at least 4 where sexual crimes were committed against the women including rape, attempted sexual extortion, molestation, perjury , witness tampering. The attorneys on the bimbo eruption team were paid for with taxpayer matching funds.

      • Monica says:

        Say what. ??? Where do you get mis-information women love Hillary? You been up in those clouds too damn long.

      • flyr says:

        Hillary is the most admired woman in America according to the Gallup Poll, by a substantial margin. What’s nice to see is that the highly talented Condi Rice ranks very high despite being out of the public spotlight .

        Of course they have to look out for Caitlyn Jenner

  104. flyR says:

    @Loving “”My point though, is that I had no idea consultants existed for that sort of thing. I mean, this one in particular is FULL-service, like a career coach. It’s sugaring – not rocket science. Market yourself, take care of yourself, be thoughtful, kind, and genuine. Everything you need to know about attaining and maintaining an arrangement lies in those categories, doesn’t it? I figure if you find you’re in need of a consultant, you’re probably not ever going to be a very good SB. But of course, the consultants may not tell you that.””

    Really no different than running a lemonade stand – location, product ,pricing, marketing , customer service, building relationships.

    • GeorgiaPeach12 says:

      Interesting comparison @FlyR.
      SB = Lemonade stand.
      Perhaps we should all take note. LOL
      However, I must agree with you in this instance. An SB has to sell herself by portraying an image that an SD will want, for an appropriate “arrangement” = good cup of cold lemonade at a reasonable price. 😉

      • flyr says:

        thanks for you kind comment.

        what I was trying to convey was the idea of selling what the relationship will do for the SD (for many helping a deserving SB is part of the reward) rather than selling T&A .

        You are not “selling ” lemons, sugar and water but rather delicious , satisfying lemonade prepared with youthful energy

  105. flyR says:

    “””Nothing I resent more than having to fight stereotypes that have nothing to do with my culture just because my skin happens to be same.”””

    A few thoughts – you are correct that each of us should be judged as an individual. While discrimination based on race or skin color is demeaning and wrong, it is not totally irrational. First there’s a 12-1 chance that the AA SB will be a devout Obama fan, thus our view of the world and the “truth” will be very different. There’s a reason why a number of SB’s of all races note “no conservative idiots” or similar overt comments ( which I am thankful to have clarified).

    The AA SB whose profile reflects an openness, is very attractive and happy woman is very attractive. Although a more prevalent form of discrimination it is not totally dissimilar from the issues faced by older SBs and SDs, full bodied SB’s of all ages. As a number of prior comments on this topic have noted , a substantial number of AA SB’s have found outstanding success here. One in particular was a serial entrepreneur, very busy and lived in TX. She was far more successful than most for a number of reasons including her unwillingness accept less than success and her recognition that successful sugaring is product development, marketing and customer service.

    • IHF2030 says:

      Funny, I had a date yesterday with a gorgeous 42 year old I met through an alternative site and things were going great until she opened her mouth to tell me that she was a proud bleeding heart liberal. I lost all interest after that.

    • Jaybird923 says:

      @Flyr I love how you always find a way to bring Obama into conversations that have nothing to do with politics. It must be a class offered only to republicans that I’m not aware of.

      Am I die hard Obama fan.. no. I agree with him on somethings and disagree on others. I’m one of those middle of the road voters. Sometimes I vote republican sometimes I vote democrat it all depends on who I think will do the better job and who’s views more closely align with mines. Though I refuse to vote Republican in any National elections.

      The party has been overtaken by a bunch of nut jobs and all the moderate republicans just huddle in a corner and cower while the extremist ruin their party and push more and more people to the left. I have no problem with conservatives but what I do have a problem with is the sheep mentality.

      Even though you know something is wrong or out of line no one stands up and say so. If the person spewing the nonsense is Republican everyone jumps through hoops to justify what was said or try to blame the liberal media. I don’t see you guys winning another national election until someone on the right grow a pair and stand-up the loons.

      • LadyScarlett says:

        The Dark Act…you can thank republicans for that along with the Monsanto Protection Act. Truly disgusting when you read into it.

      • flyR says:

        I think Obama is a very significant part of the increased racial polarization in the country. Even legendary civil rights icon and Harvard Law Professor (and very liberal ) Alan Dershowitz has been outraged with Obama’s behavior in several racially charged actions and comments. (see NYT editorials ) . Sadly the increased polarization has led to record gun sales in recent years and months. Polarization is bad for sugar (and the nation)

      • Jaybird923 says:

        I disagree race has always been an issue in america the only difference is now we have a president who will actual discuss it instead of brushing it under the rug. the problem hasn’t gotten worst it’s just become more visible. It was always there.

        And the increase in gun sales has to do with ignoramus-s believing Obama was going to enact stricter gun control laws which he failed to do. Just like he didn’t instate the death panel as part of the ACA remember that gem …

      • flyr says:

        Jay – I would remind you that it was Dwight Eisenhower who risked a second civil war by sending federal troops to enforce integration of the southern schools where children were met at the door by an axe handle armed Governor.

        Also that the major block to civil rights legislation was not the republicans but the dixiecrats.

        Even Prez Clinton dismissed the KKK membership of a leading senator with the explanation that , “Y’all have to understand that to be elected as a democrat in the south you HAD to belong to the Klan. ” that’s a direct quote from Bill.

        Republicans are called nut jobs because they believe the President should fulfill his oath of office and enforce the laws, should not lie to the citizens and should not help his friends (including the Wall Street Banksters) plunder the wealth of the nation.

      • Jaybird923 says:

        @Flyr I am well aware of the history of both parties. And this is what I’m talking about instead of acknowledging and either debating or agreeing with several very valid points I’ve brought up. You decided to distract attention from those issues by bringing up totally irrelevant facts that have nothing to do with my concerns.

        I did not call Republicans nut jobs. I said you guys have let a small minority of nut jobs take over your party with out much of a fight.

        And I find it laughable that you guys suddenly believe a President should do all those things. Where was that belief during the Bush years? They spent eight years doing nothing but lying to the citizens. Need I remind you of WMD and the Iraq war.

  106. Josh says:

    That’s better. We need more consultants like that to help these clueless women. Free help can go so far, and appreciated so much.

    • lovelynyours says:

      I suppose so. If and only if helping SBs become stellar and high quality is in fact their intention. A red flag was raised for me though, when that caller kept outing guys who really weren’t sinister (she just didn’t click with them and they didn’t want an arrangement with her – for good reason; she sounded like she had a screw loose) and the consultant didn’t even stop her – in fact, she seemed to hesitantly encourage it. That sort of thing I think creates a space where it’s deemed okay to behave in a manner less than gracious, and you can’t behave the way this woman was behaving and still have a mentality that sets you up for success as a stellar SB.

    • crypticanomaly says:

      I’ve decided to no longer help SB’s with their profiles and give advice. I feel I am doing a disservice by helping. They either get it or they don’t to try and help them fake it seems wrong to me.

  107. GeorgiaPeach12 says:

    @IHF2030. What age are you seeking Sir? Could THAT have something to do with your problem/issue?

  108. Josh says:

    @Lovely

    Were those consultants teaching SBs how to make more money by being an efficient, effective, highly sought-after SB, or how to swindle men?

    • lovelynyours says:

      I think the intention was really the former, Josh – at least based on the advice that was being given. it was just difficult to tell for sure since there was really a lot of focus on attaining a pot SD’s interest to begin with rather than being a stellar SB. Likely just a function of the women who were calling in at the time.

  109. Josh says:

    @Lovely

    Never say never, but I am pretty confident that there isn’t a consulting service for genuine SDs. Johns or gamers, maybe…but not SDs. 😉

    • lovelynyours says:

      Perhaps not. I think the inherent structure of the sugar bowl eliminates the necessity for that. As long as a man is charming and has a certain level of wealth that he’s willing to part with, he doesn’t necessarily have to be a good SD (in the traditional sense) to further his goals of attaining SBs. There are enough ladies in the sugarbowl for him to jump from one to another, if a short-term arrangement is his goal, of course.

    • Sunshine2Serenity says:

      Perhaps. I’ve heard of SDs hitting their PAs to find someone for them lol. I imagine they probably didn’t write their profile either :O.

  110. lovelynyours says:

    Did you know that there are weekly Q&A conference calls hosted by sugarbaby consultants? Jesus, what a world. I just dialed in, because, well, I’m excessively curious, as some of you know. There were a few valid questions and interesting points from the consultant, but otherwise just a lot of complaining about why the SB can’t find an SD, mostly from women who sounded incredibly low caliber (inarticulate, had bizarre logic, couldn’t figure out how to work a phone, etc.). Made me feel dirty for dialing in, somehow.

    I gave up once the same caller kept raising her hand for a question and then proceeded to try to put SDs who she didn’t like on blast by divulging their name and locations. It felt like a bitch fest and I couldn’t stand it anymore. Was just a flock of selfish women who weren’t focused on an SDs needs, just their own.

    My point though, is that I had no idea consultants existed for that sort of thing. I mean, this one in particular is FULL-service, like a career coach. It’s sugaring – not rocket science. Market yourself, take care of yourself, be thoughtful, kind, and genuine. Everything you need to know about attaining and maintaining an arrangement lies in those categories, doesn’t it? I figure if you find you’re in need of a consultant, you’re probably not ever going to be a very good SB. But of course, the consultants may not tell you that.

    • Jaybird923 says:

      ” I figure if you find you’re in need of a consultant, you’re probably not ever going to be a very good SB. But of course, the consultants may not tell you that.”

      There is always someone willing to capitalize on another’s folly or ignorance.

      • lovelynyours says:

        True story.

      • Holly GoHeavy says:

        *slow claps*
        So true! Every time SA is mentioned on the media, people get romanced by the notion that all they have to do is show up and be taken care of… unaware of the dance that must be done or unprepared to put any effort in at all. If your rent is due at the first of the month and it’s the 27th, perhaps SA is not the best place, lol

      • Jaybird923 says:

        If your situation is that dire than SA is definitely not the place to be. first of all that’s not the purpose it was meant to serve.

        Secondly Being that desperate has a way of making one disregard common sense and putting your self in situations you otherwise wouldn’t have. There are always vultures waiting in wings to prey on the desperate.

    • Sunshine2Serenity says:

      I think I know the one you’re taking about. I signed up to hear about a Facebook group and now I get marketing emails on my spam account :/.
      It’s kind of sad because there are probably women that spend a fair bit of money they don’t have but get lured in.

      • lovelynyours says:

        I’m not sure that’s the one. But yes, I can’t imagine SBs spending significant amounts of money for that sort of service. Frankly, I don’t see how that sort of a career could be lucrative. Talk about a specialized niche – goodness.

  111. Josh says:

    Another of my posts is blocked.

    • Jaybird923 says:

      Well from the beginning we knew you would be the one to suffer the most casualties. I saw it before it was deleted :-))

  112. Josh says:

    The list of most recent comments should be moved up right below the comment box and the number of most recent comments should be increased to 10.

  113. Josh says:

    A coloring system “may” work. It would be based on dating-related functional criteria plus number of men/women. One man can rate on all criteria or 10 men rate on one criteria each. This may be it. 😉

  114. Josh says:

    Ratings in a dating-like situation is a non-starter. How many women would like to be rated by 10 different men, even positively? UNLESS of course such rating is based on non-sexual validation. Then bring 10,000 ratings/likes on. 😉

    • Sunshine2Serenity says:

      That’s why a color system would be good – changes color based on your average of positive to negative. Cryptic’s idea of keeping out positive sounds good. I think not showing the number is important – it looks tacky otherwise. It would be nice for people to know though whether someone is experienced/actually meets people or whether they’re relatively new. People can still go for the new ones but at least they’ll be aware that they haven’t met anyone yet.

    • Jaybird923 says:

      This sounds a little too much like that escort rating site me. You can usually spot the flakes during the messaging phase by asking the right questions and observing how they respond.

      Those who are truly interested will answer questions with more than two or three words. They’ll respond promptly to messages. They ask you for details about yourself and what type of arrangement you’re looking for.

      And most importantly they are willing to meet soon after communication has been initiated. Unless someone lives out of state/country there is no reason to spend more than a week writing and texting.

      • Sunshine2Serenity says:

        I haven’t had any issues but when I hear the SDs on here I wonder if something like that is needed because so many seem to be having bad experiences :/.

      • hototrot1 says:

        @S2S
        “I haven’t had any issues but when I hear the SDs on here I wonder if something like that is needed because so many seem to be having bad experiences :/.”

        Given the ratio of SD to SB it shouldn’t be this bad. However, most SDs aren’t writing on the blog, so the problems might seem magnified.

      • lovelynyours says:

        It really is all about observing their behavior. And even if they’re out of state, I’ve found that the serious ones are happy to take it offline and chat by phone. I tend to get real names fairly quickly with them as well, which really helps in knowing if they’re interested and serious about this.

        Sunshine, I’d imagine perhaps there are more flaky SBs than SDs, though that’s probably just a function of having far more SB accounts on the site to begin with.

      • lovelynyours says:

        That was for Jay & Sunshine, btw.

      • Jaybird923 says:

        I haven’t had an issue either. I think a lot of the SDs complaining need to have higher standards. Like they are so fond of telling us a pretty face is a dime a dozen and SBs out number SDs.

        If someone is being a flake and taking days to respond to messages move on. You can’t complain about something you willing put up with. There are plenty of women who are here to form genuine connections. Why waste time trying to cultivate/force a connection with someone who obviously isn’t willing to put any effort into doing the same with you.

        If you start an arrangement accepting the bare minimum That’s what you’ll get throughout the whole arrangement… the bare minimum.

      • Sunshine2Serenity says:

        @Jay and Lovely
        Very good points.

      • Elaine says:

        @Jay

        Right on spot observation! :-)

        “If you start an arrangement accepting the bare minimum That’s what you’ll get throughout the whole arrangement… the bare minimum.”

        Would like to add :
        If you start an arrangement offering the bare minimum That’s what you’ll get throughout the whole arrangement…

        Wasn’t there a saying about peanuts and monkey’s , …. or was it bananas and monkeys? 😉

        And it also has to do with what your are looking for, if that is easy replaceable p4p, you might get what you wished for and it can end up YOU being easily replaced.

        If you do your selection during meets instead before, the risk of poofers is much bigger. THere is not yet created any feeling of connection and that makes it so much easier to flake when a better “opportunity” comes by.

        Those people who select well, communicate on beforehand, not jump from one meeting to another after only few messages, but instead are selective and only meet when it really feels ok and if there might be a connection, the succes rate would be much higher.

      • rembodler says:

        @Elaine
        From the SD’s point of view there are many reasons to start low. If you start low and she is a dud in bed, you can cut your losses as soon as your first installment runs out. If she is just an “OK” and in the back of your mind “she is not worth it”, you can never decrease her allowance – she will be mighty offended and an “OK” SB will likely turn into a bad one.
        In the very rare situations when she is such a great catch and a keeper, you can always increase the allowance.
        From the professional SB (someone who has been around the block a few times) point of view, she wants to “sign you up” for as much as possible as soon as possible. Then, no matter how lazy or uninspired she is, she will do OK. She also knows that a turnover rate is quite high and does not really expect you to stick around for long anyway.
        Again, these are just rules. there are always exceptions.

      • Elaine says:

        .Rembodler

        Was not only talking about money.

        And if you have followed my posts during time, you must know how I despise the “Hit and run” SBs, the entitled Princesses, the ones asking money to meet -or exist- and those treating sugar as “Easy money”.

        So yes, I get your point about raising an allowance over time, and I can relate to that, it makes sense.
        But iI still believe offering $ 200 p4p, is not easily going to land you quality SBs.

        I think you are wrong and it is more likely to find the “serial” or “prof” “SBs” in that budget.
        I mean, they don’t care having another SD every night, at the end she makes a nice monthly “turnover” with 1 or 2 hours “work” per day.
        And she doesn’t have to be good in bed, spend a lot of time with you, be exclusive, text or talk, relieve your stress, be available, and all other things a quality SB would do.

      • rembodler says:

        @Elaine
        “…I think you are wrong and it is more likely to find the “serial” or “prof” “SBs” in that budget…”

        I understand that is what you and many other pro-SBs want men to think. It also seems to me that you honestly believe that if you keep saying it here, it will become true. Called “propaganda”…;))).
        Well…An older SB has to compensate for the lack of youth with something. So they offer a gent a bunch of useless stuff instead, that he doesn’t really need or cannot really be sure about (like exclusivity when they see you once a week) and claim that they just blessed you with gifts, and yes, that now will be 2000.
        If someone wants to lie to you about exclusivity, it does not matter whether you pay them 200 or 2000. I remember reading the story somewhere where a guy hired a PI who got him the proof that his – very exclusive and very expensive – SB had two other “exclusive” SDs. So he got pissed and called their wives. Was a bit of a problem. And yea… that SB I am sure told all of them how “discreet she is, but that did not really help…
        Just saying.
        Just saying.

  115. cryptic anomaly says:

    @Josh-One of the reasons SA wanted Mods was to improve the communication between it’s users and itself. So I have a tendency to tell it as I see it. If the want to de-mod me for that, then that is fine. I will suggest to move the report button as well as I just reported my own post and I noticed another of yours has been reported even though all you were doing was giving advice on how to navigate the blog.

    @SD on Chat – All the points you have listed have been brought up before. Many SB’s seem to believe that they are clients and that we should chase them and give them money simply because they exist. Trying to tell them otherwise makes them rather upset that they might have to provide something or be charming and polite or even interesting.

    • Sunshine2serenity says:

      And that is what separates terrible SBs, who won’t get an SD, from ones that will and have success :). Unfortunately the site doesn’t pre-screen SBs :(.
      It would be good if they had a feature where if a SD and SB both agreed that they had met they could choose to provide a “like” or a “dislike” (or a little box with a colour so if someone has green around their profile it means that people have had positive experiences with a gradation towards red which means they’re fake) as to whether the person had been on time, real, not swearing etc. It would have to be agreed by both the SB and a paying member that they had met (to prevent abuse of people who hadn’t met you but disliked you, or if you met and the other person was nuts) but it would give some indication to SDs of what they’re dealing with. Might also be an option for the SDs so SBs can find men who are legitimate more easily.

      • cryptic anomaly says:

        I thought of a rating system as well similar to yours. My concern with Negative ratings is it is open to abuse, people voting someone in the neg just because they couldn’t connect or didn’t like something about each other, using it as a revenge thing.

        Perhaps just a positive rating system whether the SD/SB have met or not? It would be hard to police anyway, but something along those lines could be helpful.

      • cryptic anomaly says:

        P.S I know you said ratings would only be given with the approval of SB and SD but I know I wouldn’t approve a negative rating on my profile.

      • Sunshine2Serenity says:

        It’s the only way I can think of how to get around abusing it but I like your idea of showing that she’s actually met some SDs. I think the thing would be to not show the number of likes just use a color system or something (cause who wants to see that the girl they’ve met has already seen 10 SDs LOL).

  116. Josh says:

    I have an eerie feeling that @cryptic is going to get demoderated soon. LOL!

  117. cryptic says:

    @SD on Chat- SA Tells SB’s that they can have everything and anything they want and that SD’s will throw money at them.

  118. Josh says:

    @SD on Chat

    Good points but please keep in mind that SA brings them here by painting a totally different picture.

  119. SD On Chat says:

    Sugar Baby Manual and Agreement:
    1) Realize that SD is your customer. Have a hostess attitude of customer service.
    2) Don’t treat a decent SD like he is a psycho or stalker when he has not been anything but polite and decent.
    3) If you’re going to text chat, be attentive to that chat. Don’t let the conversation slow and die. If you can’t give the chat your full attention ask to text back at a time when you can.
    4) Do what you agree to. If you agreed to meet up follow through. If you agreed on an arrangement amount honor it, don’t change your mind before the meeting.
    5) Don’t be greedy or stupid by doing things like asking SD to send money before he even meets you.
    6) Always have a good attitude. Even when you disagree do it with class. Nobody wins by creating drama.
    7) Be realistic about what you offer and what you ask for. Don’t ask for a high allowance if you are only providing minimal companionship.
    8) Learn to negotiate and to give more… so everybody wins.
    9) DO NOT use SA if you have no intention of entering into some type of arrangement. This isn’t a chat site to play “hot or not” with your friends.
    10) Realize that it is your job to entertain SD. A good SD will entertain you as well, but you should also do your fair share to make for a great experience with your personality.
    11) Have polite cel phone manners when you are with SD. Put the phone away. Only glance at it occasionally or text quickly at moments of tactful opportunity. Excuse yourself to the restroom if you need 5 minutes to text.
    12) If you have questions ask SD. Most will be happy to explain and put your mind at ease.
    13) Don’t be negative or bring your personal problems to a meeting. Yes SD cares, but you are there to make him feel good, not burden him with your personal issues.
    9) Do not start every sentence in your profile with “I…”

    • Elaine says:

      Great post!

      This is the message SA should spread.
      Would boost the overal qualitylevel a lot.

      Well, anyway, they have shown some good will with this blogtopic to start with :-)

    • Sunshine2Serenity says:

      Very nice. Reminds me of a SD advice book (actual SD advice book not some fiction) I read and the guy has a contract they both look over (not legally binding lol, but it’s a way of putting everything down in black and white about No Drama and all of that.

  120. Josh says:

    You click on the progress bar, hold it and drag across.

  121. Sunshine2Serenity says:

    I think the indent has to go.

    Report comment is good but should only be flagged for moderation not automatically deleted. Automatic deletion is something that can only really be done if people have to actually make an account to post. If that was the case then having something like reddit upvote/downvote system is good. Posts with a certain amount of downvotes get hidden or removed if offensive while the upvoted posts are more prominent.

    I think we’ve seen some pretty nasty business on here (not you Josh. There has been derogatory name calling that is uncalled for in previous topics). So making it easy for people to report problematic posts is a good idea.

  122. Josh says:

    Yes the belly dancer was shifty indeed. :(

  123. Josh says:

    I use the preview feature in YouTube to assess if a video is worth watching. When I kept seeing the dude all the way through I knew that he is aksing too much commitment. No can do.

  124. Josh says:

    Yes another of my post is gone. 😉

  125. Josh says:

    I will drink good Turkish coffee in the middle of the night. I get bare minimum sleep by design. So for theost part, nothing gets in my way of sleep.

  126. Josh says:

    @rem

    I would not call Anthony Hopkins or Meryl Streep hypocrites. They are great actors.

    Sugar by its nature is a transient arrangement. It’s her “act” and not necessarily hypocrisy. 😉

  127. Josh says:

    The report comment has to go…along with indent.

    • Jaybird923 says:

      Another one of your post just disappeared. The one about the second video being the guys emotional ramblings. I replied to it and then it was gone.

  128. Josh says:

    Sitting at a hookah bar enjoying second-hand smoke and awesome Turkish coffee. They may have belly dancing soon. They always have shitty belly dancers here. I come for Turkish coffee and second-hand smoke though.

  129. Josh says:

    @Jay

    The second part is just the emotional nonsense by the owner of the channel.

    • Jaybird923 says:

      @Josh yeah I noticed. I stuck around for no reason. I kept expecting him to play the follow up video he kept mentioning.

      Isn’t it a little late for coffee?

  130. Josh says:

    @Josh asks his proxy:

    @Cryptic

    Why is my post from July 11, 2015 at 10:46 am blocked?

    • cryptic anomaly says:

      I don’t recall deleting any of your posts. I’ll have a look for you. Once a post is deleted I don’t think there is a way of restoring it though.

      Ok just checked. It appears it was reported 3 times. I didn’t delete your post though, just saw it for the first time now.

      • Jaybird923 says:

        That’s all it takes to get a post deleted? I think that number is a bit low?

      • cryptic anomaly says:

        I think so too. Unless another mod deleted it, it doesn’t say one way or another. I will ask if there is something in the programming which deletes posts after a certain number of reports.

        What Josh posted really wasn’t offensive even if it wasn’t that complimentary.

  131. Josh says:

    I have been offered bareback by a 22 year-old hottie. I refused and promised to do it when I am fixed.

    • rembodler says:

      I guess my problem is always the same, the hypocrisy. When an SB says that she is oh so special, and that she has somethings oh so special with her SD and, by the way, she uses condoms with him because “she is safe”.
      She says it proudly, as if she is the first woman on Earth to figure out that condoms reduces the chances to become pregnant and (most importantly) get an STD.
      I always want to say to that: “Congratulations, darling – you figured this out! You… and countless other women. That is very special indeed”.

      • Sunshine2Serenity says:

        I’m confused. Is there a hidden message in there? (Aka she says it’s “special” but she’s seeing a multitude of people).
        Or are you just amazed that women have the intelligence to not want to get pregnant + STDs.

      • Anonymous says:

        @S&S
        Mmm…u can read, right? My whole point was that no “intelligence” is required to understand the function of the rubber barrier. This complicated concept seems to be pretty well understood by the majority of people inhabiting this planet.
        I am just saying that, from the purely sexual point of view, you are offering your SD very little that differentiates you from the profile above and below yours.

      • Jaybird923 says:

        @Remmy you’re posting anonymously… just in case you didn’t know.

      • Sunshine2Serenity says:

        Ohhh! I didn’t realise it was a selling feature on profiles lol. That’s crazy.

  132. Jaybird923 says:

    I found another interesting blog today. I think the SDs will like this one a little more Than the other one.

    [https://sugardaddydiaries.wordpress.com/2013/09/15/sex-and-the-sugar-baby/]

    • Sunshine2Serenity says:

      I like this more than the other. I disagree with the quoted part about those who want no sex being the best.
      One of the benefits of having an SD is that he has experience so he knows how to please a woman. He also knows what he wants and most are generally happy to teach or explore with you. It’s like ordering a dessert with no

    • Jaybird923 says:

      I liked it too. if platonic works for you great but it’s not what I’m looking for.

    • lovelynyours says:

      I find the platonic concept fascinating. Mostly because in some ways, it’s counter to the concept of the hetero male psyche when it comes to women and sex. I haven’t decided if that’s something I’d be into.

      Perhaps they’re the best SDs in the sense that they’re intentions are a bit more pure and women would view them more as “gentlemen”, but I suppose it runs so counter to what we’re made to believe about men that it’d take some getting used to for me. Besides, I don’t always want a “gentleman”, all the time. 😉

  133. Josh says:

    SA is unlike Google. Google gives free stuff to everyone and keeps increasing the quality of its products.

    SA on the other hand rapes men in the ass and teaches women how to at a much larger scale.

    SA’s user interface sucks and not much effort is put in to fix that.

    It is what it is. :(

    • cryptic anomaly says:

      Elaine was mentioning that rich men should be able to afford the subscription as she didn’t understand the point of non paying members favoriting her.

      Given that SA offers a 33% discount I would say more and more men are becoming bored and disillusioned by this site. Whether it be women who are just here for an ego stroking or have too high expectations or just entitlement complexes and a lack of charm.

      Why would a man pay to expose himself to all of that? And yes, the site encourages women to be ugly and greedy.

      SA needs to start focusing on the members who actually pay or they expect to pay rather than keep pandering to the ones who get it all for free and then want perks on top of that.

      • SD On Chat says:

        I like SA and some opportunities that it provides, but I’m growing weary of many unreliable, immature, flaky, entitlement oriented, arrogant Salty Babies here!

        It’s almost like the daddies are treated like beggars or something!
        It should be a “customer service” attitude from the SB’s… or at least they should be decent about it.

      • SouthernSB says:

        SD On Chat-You have a totally blank profile. I wouldn’t even know how to respond to you if I were interested in you. If I come across a blank profile I next it because if I man doesn’t have the time or inclination to fill out a profile how will he have the time or inclination to pay attention to me? Come on it’s a two way street. I understand that it’s a buyer’s market but give us something to work with.

      • lovelynyours says:

        I agree with Southern, here. Just as SBs who complain about not being able to find ideal SDs seem to have dreadful profiles that are attracting the wrong kind of guy, SDs need to be aware of the types of SBs they’re attracting as well. Of course, one’s income will attract a few sketchy women no matter what, but you’re likely to get higher quality women messaging you if you’re giving them something to work with and assuring them that you’re serious about this by having a robust and complete profile. I skip over blank profiles as well – they look like spammers to me, and I never know what to say in an email anyway, because I have nothing to go on.

        I don’t buy into the customer service theory regarding SBs unless that theory also encourages SDs to put in some effort. This isn’t an escort service. It’s a two way street and men need to put in some level of effort to be thoughtful, kind, reliable, considerate as well.

      • Elaine says:

        @SDon chat,

        Haven’t seen your profile, but if indeed id blank…
        What on earth do you expect to attract?

        Immediately next and block them, always feel very uncomfortable, call me paranoid, but I always think it is a nosy jealous wife or a stalking ex. No serious person would be on whatever datingsite with an empty profile IMO.

        Something like fishing without a bait…
        Don’t think because this is the sugarpond, the quality SB fish will jump right into your arms. 😉

  134. Josh says:

    @michelle01

    If you actually start paying for the service then you may be able to request this feature from SA.

    • michelle01 says:

      that would definitely be a feature worth paying for. i had already submitted a ticket for clarification purposes earlier, but figured i would get a quicker answer here. as it stands, all my photos are still pending, but given that i saw a colleague’s photo right on my homepage…i thought i’d be proactive.

      • Jaybird923 says:

        just make your face pic private that way you can control who sees you and you don’t have to worry about your co worker

      • michelle01 says:

        yep, will do. i only had a picture from the nose down, but i think that was still distinctive enough to potentially identify me.

        thanks everyone for the feedback.

      • lovelynyours says:

        “but given that i saw a colleague’s photo right on my homepage…i thought i’d be proactive.”

        Yiiiikes. That has the potential to be a touch awkward.

  135. michelle01 says:

    hi there. anyone with insight – answers would be much appreciated. are blocked members notified when they are blocked? can they still view my profile and pictures? is there a way to keep me from showing up in their searches?

    • lovelynyours says:

      If I’m not mistaken, blocked members can still see your profile and view public pictures; they just can’t message you. They’ll see a message at the bottom of the page letting them know they’ve been blocked. You’d still end up in their searches.

  136. Josh says:

    @Elaine, you don’t need to take on a younger SB. Take on a 60 year-old SB.

  137. Sunshine2Serenity says:

    @Josh

    That is good to hear. It’s frustrating when some people are so cavalier about it. It’s not like everything is curable.

    It’s interesting that you don’t phone. Personality I loathe the phone but it seems to give a lot of his comfort that I’m real and who I say I am.

  138. Josh says:

    I prefer not to talk to anyone on the phone. I prefer text and email. I don’t talk to any of the women on phone unless they want to talk on the phone for whatever reason.

    • zito says:

      I’ll talk on the phone once or twice, but after that its strictly texting for me…I hate talking on the phone

      • SD On Chat says:

        Hate talking on the phone. Or those gawd awful chat apps that SB’s want you to use instead of giving you their phone number. (The kind that want access to your entire address book.)

        It’s SA message just enough for slight rapport then text!

      • cryptic anomaly says:

        I hate texting and those stupid apps. I won’t use them. I don’t talk much but when I do I prefer something more than a couple of words at a time the way they chat on apps etc.

      • SouthernSB says:

        OMG!! Thank you!!! I HATE all the texting and stuff and I only like talking on the phone. In fact, I only have don’t even own a smartphone, and I talk to people on my landline. The whole texting thing is completely out of control. I can’t even put my daughter on as my next of kin because she only communicates by text. I mean geez, what the hell are these people going to do in case an emergency happens and they need to go to the hospital to see their parents? My mother’s husband’s daughter found out that her father had a heart attack by facebook!!! I mean, WTF!!

  139. Josh says:

    I’d rather deal with the consequences of condoms instead of dealing with those of STDs.

  140. Josh says:

    I would not do it without a condom with any of these women. It has to be a longer term relationship for me to go bareback.

  141. Catcher 22 says:

    Apologies for multiple posts of same comment. I was attempting without success to place it as a comment under SD on Chat’s post.

  142. Josh says:

    @I have a one-hour rule. Around 60 minutes before the date I will text and find out what’s going on with them. If they confirm, I still don’t go to the meeting place. I go to another place of my interest and keep in touch with them using text. If they show up at the meeting place, I show up too. Otherwise, I just do what I needed to do at the other place.

    • Sunshine2Serenity says:

      I confirm on the day sending a text with the time and place that we’ve agreed on. If I think I’m going to be the slightest bit late I will text although I try to be at least 30 minutes early and then just do things around there.

      Seems to work well. Never had an SD cancel on me last minute so that’s good, but I respect that they’re busy and plans change.

      The one time I didn’t confim the exact time be thought we were meeting at 12 and I thought 12:30. So that wasn’t a great start lol.

    • SD On Chat says:

      It’s not “no show” that bothers me… actually haven’t had that happen yet! It’s canceling on text after a great chat where everything seemed completely amiable.

  143. Reb. says:

    MALES. Tell me how this works. Current SD says he cant wear condoms because he ~feels nothing~ and when he puts a condom on his penis goes limp (his words, I never saw it). 90% of my SDs have insisted on no condom or there’s no sex. Of course, I tell them the condom stays and they break down. The younger SDs never whine when I demand condoms, just the super old. My question. If the guy uses Viagra is he REALLY going to go limp with a condom? I am doubting that. Enlighten me.

    • zito says:

      using viagra…i highly doubt theyd go limp…. I hated condoms until i found magnums….the others just were too small and uncomfy

    • Josh says:

      I am sure everyone is different. I have more control on my erection and ejaculation without condom than with condom. I have done pull out for years without getting my woman pregnant.

    • Sunshine2Serenity says:

      This drives me batty. I would hope that my SD could be honest with me about whether he was seeing other women (because I’m down with that and I expect it) but they’re so used to having to compartmentalise that they don’t lol. So condoms it is. I loathe condoms, it never feels as good, but it’s better than catching something. I also insist on seeing test results before any hanky panky. Seems guys are more than happy to show results but getting them to wear a wrap is like fighting with a little kid to put their boots on lol.

      • rembodler says:

        @S2S
        I normally would do a month of condoms. Then I ask for unprotected after a test that I offer to do and show you. If you say something along the lines that you are very comfortable with condoms, I will text you to next you.
        Be realistic, there is plenty where you came from…

      • Jaybird923 says:

        Sober Remmy is back.

      • rembodler says:

        I guess my point is – there is always this blub about “what is that you can offer you SD”? ….”how will you stand out”?
        Well… every single woman on SA will offer her SD safe sex. That goes without saying, unless you think you can catch that Bigfoot Platonic.
        For a variety of reasons you might be unwilling, uncomfortable or unable to do it. Which is fine, it is your choice, you should do what you feel is right. But do not complain or call another woman a reckless ho if she does. And sways your SD away from you. She just offered him something you did not. And he – for whatever reason- preferred it to whatever else you thought makes you special.
        Such is life. Deal with it.

      • Jaybird923 says:

        @Remmy Are you talking to me or just making a general statement?

      • Sunshine2Serenity says:

        @Remmy
        Awww you’re more fun when you’re not completely sober :(.

        If I’ve been with an SD for some time and I know that he’ll be open with me about his other activities, and he gets regularly tested (I get myself tested every two months and I’m happy to go get them again if an SD requires it) then it’s something that I would be open to discussing.

        I think for me they would have to be my only SD at that stage – I’m not going to endanger anyone else because of my decisions.

        I’m probably overly cautious but some things are for life and I know guys can get aroused and sense can go out the window and they might not even realise they have something until it’s too late.

        It’s a fact that the more people you have sex with without condoms – the risk that you will get an STD or STI increases exponentially.

    • RookieSD says:

      Well in my case, once you been doing bare back for years, it’s quite difficult to go back to the condom thing. Where as with most young cats wearing a condom during intercourse is the only way they’ve known.

      • rembodler says:

        @ Jay
        I think I know your position on that – which is similar to mine in a sense that an SB should either “do or don’t” and face the consequences of do or don’t…
        So probably a general statement…
        At some point I get the definite feeling “it’s like deja- vu, all over again”. We go in circles and it seems like there is less and less I want to say – as I think most of it had been said already…
        Time to have a big glass of cheap wine. Need to save pennies to join the premium membership…;)))).

      • Jaybird923 says:

        @Remmy that is correct. I think everyone should do what works for them and people should voice their personal preferences without condemning others for making a different choice.

        And there’s only so many subjects that can be discussed. Everything always comes back up.

        Have more than one glass and come back and blog. I like drunk Remmy he’s very amusing lol

    • CucumberOnLids says:

      This is exactly why I can’t sugar date the super old. I have no desire to catch anything from their years of bareback screwing. Just got contacted by one of the $100 per meet SDs that can’t remember me” Yah to new pics. Guess what his profile says now? He’s HSVII positive. He’s also part of the super old camp. What does this tell me? It’s saying the uninfected pool is getting rather small in my area which is frightening as he’s the 5th SD tell me he has it. Creepy.

  144. Josh says:

    It gets interesting at 5:38, 8:35, 9:28, 10:00, etc.

    [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NNM-cQ2ntNA]

    • Jaybird923 says:

      You posted the same video twice. It is interesting But I can’t relate or add anything to the conversation. there’s a second part. did you see that one?

  145. SD On Chat says:

    How about just getting SB to follow through and show up for a meet?
    What’s the best way to do this?
    It’s absolutely fatiguing to chat for quite sometime and have all the best mutually agreed (and seemingly enthusiastic) plans scrapped at the last minute. Typical reasons:
    1) No transportation… even after you can help provide.
    2) Insecurity… “I’m so nervous I can’t follow through with this.”
    3) I doubt you! (After SD honestly agreed to the terms.)
    4) So excited to meet you! (For days.) Finally a meeting is setup. Last minute BS cancellation… or text just goes silent just before finalizing plans. Totally unexpected based of previous rapport.

    Why are some SB’s so weak, insecure and unreliable?

    What a PITA!

    • IHF2030 says:

      I’ve come to the conclusion that a lot of women are on this site for the sole purpose of having their massively overinflated egos stroked on a regular basis.

    • Josh says:

      Women do a great number of things to get validated. This must be one of them.

      • zito says:

        some may not even be women…i had a sb cancel on me twice…then scheduled for a third meet…that time i never showed…lol

      • SD On Chat says:

        That’s sick… and if you call them out on their flakiness it’s YOUR FAULT!

    • MissLady says:

      Really, does this type of stuff happen a lot?? Guess the fantasy is easier to deal with than the reality…

    • Catcher 22 says:

      All are familiar scenarios. Worst of all is when they just do not show. After the fact excuses include “I lost my cell phone”. “My car broke down”. ” My car was stolen”. “My ride canceled.” “I had to work late”. Sometimes no excuse. Just no more contact. I am still waiting for “I really was on my way, but I was abducted by Aliens and beamed up to their mother ship”. I am sure to hear that one sooner or later.

      • zito says:

        Ive never had a no show…in terms of sitting somewhere like a schmuck and waiting for a sb…have had them cancel last minute though

    • Catcher 22 says:

      All are familiar scenarios. Worst of all is when they just do not show. After the fact excuses include “I lost my cell phone”. “My car broke down”. ” My car was stolen”. “My ride canceled.” “I had to work late”. Sometimes no excuse. Just no more contact. I am still waiting for “I really was on my way, but I was abducted by Aliens and beamed up to their mother ship”. I am sure to hear that one sooner or later.

    • Catcher 22 says:

      These are all familiar scenarios. Worst of all is when they just do not show. After the fact excuses include “I lost my cell phone”. “My car broke down”. ” My car was stolen”. “My ride canceled.” “I had to work late”. Sometimes no excuse. Just no more contact. I am still waiting for “I really was on my way, but I was abducted by Aliens and beamed up to their mother ship”. I am sure to hear that one sooner or later.

    • Sunshine2Serenity says:

      I’m curious… What age group are you targeting?

    • Sunshine2Serenity says:

      Also do you speak to them over the phone first?

  146. Josh says:

    What’s up with this?

    [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NNM-cQ2ntNA]

  147. Josh says:

    @Elaine

    “@NCgent

    I don’t think I will have to pay for company or sex.”

    You are not being asked to pay because you “have to” but because you “want to” as a generous Sugar Mommy. Isn’t this what SDs are told on SA by SBs; ad nauseam? @FunDude is chastised to no end when he says that he will pay when he “has to”.

    You have opined many times over months that most of the men on SA are not SD material. So you should use the website as SM and start paying the measly $60/month to show the men off AND pay your SBs decent amount of allowance.

    “BTW does paying alimony to your ex make you a SM?”

    As much as it makes an alimony-paying man an SD for his ex.

    Unfortunately women in the western society has been given fucking carte blanche to shit on men at will.

    • Elaine says:

      @ Josh

      1. I feel no need to ever become a SM because:

      I am NOT attracted to young, hot and handsome men out of my league.
      I am NOT married.
      I do NOT want to have sex with guys 25 y my minor.
      I am NOT a stressed businessman with no time for regular dating.
      I am NOT an akward nerd.

      So most of the reason that count for SDs, don’t count for me.
      And since I feel no desire to want to give allowance to nobody, I will never be a SM, even if I could. :-)

      2. Fundude is not an SD and is only here to tell SDs how hot he and his GF are, and they are losers to give allowances to SBs. (Who as a a matter of fact are always “fat” and “old”)

      3. I have been paying premium membership till SA changed to this new site and all I was normally paying for (search options) became suddenly for free. So no use to pay anymore.
      As you might remember I am advocating for SBs to have to pay for membership too.
      It would raise the quality.

      4. And indeed, nowadays around 80% on this site is not SD material. (nor SB material probably)
      Because that is the real number that remains when you take away all the empty and abandoned profiles, fakes, flakes, rinsers, escorts, Johns, pic collectors, catfish, wannabee’s and poofers that all had to add to SA blown up number of “members”.
      Ask @Online if you want precise statistics. 😉

  148. Josh says:

    @MissLady,

    Using his newly-found power, the moderator covered his digital tracks. LOL!

  149. Josh says:

    Liberal idiots talking nonsense:

    [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qahbEji8QLM]

    • Jaybird923 says:

      They have valid points about the economical issues that a lot of the millennials are facing and that should be taken into account. However there is a difference between having sex out of wedlock and banging every man who swipes right on Tinder.

  150. MissLady says:

    Hmmm, a lot of housekeeping was done around here I see.

  151. Chunky Monkey says:

    @Josh. No Fair. You get pick of sweetest SA tail? Please share with me and Curious!!

    • sugar baby monkey says:

      hi chunky. don’t worry. josh has not possibilities with me, i’m too much woman for him.
      I really didn’t understand, what was saying the girl with the cheap dress? Yes misslady, that girl

  152. Curious George says:

    @sugar baby monkey says: “If a sugar daddy by me a banana, I go with him to a room hotel”
    …………………………………….
    @sugar baby monkey says: “Josh, by me a banana please.”
    …………………………………….
    @ sugar baby monkey says: “oh god, really???? Josh seen with a shopping cart overflowing with bananas???? clearly, Josh wants to marry me.”

  153. Josh says:

    He got carried away with Brazilian fart porn. But the rest including potato salad was spot on.

    • Jaybird923 says:

      Yeah it was when you look pass the antics and listen to what he has to say he makes valid points. I have in fact brought up the “unfettered pussy” thing in conversations and been shot down because apparently having no discretion or standards when it comes to having sex is a sign of a woman’s sexual liberation.

  154. Josh says:

    This guy is so much more fun than Sandman:

    [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1eCX2bKH7S8]

    • Jaybird923 says:

      @Josh I should know better by now than to click on your youtube links Brazilian Fart Porn and potato salad lol

  155. Josh says:

    The recent post by @NC Gent is spot on.

    The reality for most women is that if they have enough money to be a Sugar Mommy, they still want to be Sugar Baby as part of hypergamy.

  156. NC Gent says:

    My premium account expired a few days before I was going to be out of the country. I favorited about 5 profiles before I left with the intent of upgrading and contacting them when I returned. I have gone to bed hungry before when it wasn’t my preferred option so I don’t like to waste. If not liking to waste money makes me a bad SD in some eyes, then so be it because they likely aren’t a match for me either.

    I also love the number of times women on here minimalize the value of SOME ONE ELSE’S money. If money is no big deal, why don’t you have enough to be a SM?

    • Elaine says:

      @NC gent @Josh

      I don’t fancy young men.
      And in case I would, I don’t need to pay for sex with them, would feel ashamed to be seen around with a young toyboy, and we will have to few in common for nice conversations.
      So what reason would be left for me to be a SM?

      And I am not talking about SDs who’s account expired for a few days, I am talking SD’s that are on this site constantly without having a premium account and state to have at least 8 m. net worth.

      I mean, what kind of generosity can be expected from a multimillionare “not wanting to waste” $ 60 for a membership??
      If he doesn’t want to spend this few for his own fun, what willing to spend on me then?

      • NC Gent says:

        @Elaine – there is no rule that says your sugar boytoy has to be younger. Don’t let that stop you from being a SM. Also, I am surprised to hear that coming from you given that you have blogged a number of times that some SDs enjoy SBs that are older than them. Why wouldn’t some SM be the same way? I have a couple of friends I am sure that would love to be your SB. Hell I might even toss my profile into the pool :)

      • Elaine says:

        @NCgent

        I don’t think I will have to pay for company or sex.
        Not older men, nor younger.
        Guess it is just different for women. 😉
        And anyway, most women are wired different then men.
        Just see the difference in marketshare for escorts or gigolo’s! 😉

        And yes, my SD is 9 years younger, but at a certain age it is not such big deal anymore. The gap in life phase and interests get’s smaller the more mature you both are.

        PS. BTW does paying alimony to your ex make you a SM? … :-/

  157. Josh says:

    If I were worth $100 million, I would still flick the bathroom light off when I was done. Also, I will turn off my cars’ engines when they were not in use.

    At a different inactivity level, I may also turn off my phone’s ringer when I don’t want to be disturbed, which I do most of the time. That does not mean that I don’t want to use my phone when I want to text something to someone.

    Now, if SDs who favorite you are not your kind, as a smart woman you are, you would have just turn off the alert feature from your side and let men do whatever the heck their silly hearts desire. You are not going to contact them. So why whine about them?

    The reason you made a post was that you wanted to once again tell the SDs on the blog how low class they were compared to the uber generous SDs you cater to. That’s all. We get it @Elaine. You don’t need to rub it in again and again and yet again. 😉

    • Elaine says:

      No Josh, I was really asking myself what are those guys thinking?
      But be my guest if you want to find more behind it as there really is.

      And no, most of the blog SDs are not my type, and I am not theirs, and that is fine.
      Doesn’t mean I find them low class.
      Spending money has nothing to do with class.
      (I can easily name people with a lot of money and NO class. I also know a lot of people with few money and a lot of class.)
      I just don’t manage to see them as generous Sugar Daddies.
      Mind you, some even call more generous men “fools”… or the reason for their generosity must be because they must be “old” or “fat”.

      And yes, if I had 100mill. me too would switch off the bathroom light and turn off the engine.
      That is just common sense, not wasting money and more important, limited resources, for nothing.

      But being on a SugarDaddy datingsite to find a SB and not want to pay $60 for a monthly membership??
      C’mon, that equals what?
      A lunch?
      A nice bottle of wine at diner in a restaurant?
      A tip to the waiter?
      Again, for me that does tell a lot about their eventual generosity.
      It is like buying a Porsche and then don’t want to drive fast because fuel consumption is going up!

      Just doesn’t make sense to me.

  158. Josh says:

    Whatever @Elaine. 😉

  159. Josh says:

    @Elaine

    Just because you have a pussy that you acquired absabsolutely for free, you shouldn’t use it carelessly.

    The same way, just because a man has money he shouldn’t spend carelessly.

    He’s favoriting you for the future contact when he does sign up for membership.

    Many SDs either take a break or let the membership expire for a few months to let pussies accumulate before getting back in the bowl. That’s all. No need to get frustrated. 😉

    • Elaine says:

      @ Josh

      My profile is very clear about what I am looking for and that it is not going to be a cheap treat.

      So I will never react to men that don’t wanna spend -what is it $60?- a month and have to save up for “pussies” before they do.
      For those following this tactic, go ahead.
      But you’re just not my target and if you can read, you would know and wouldn’t bother favouriting me.

      My SD’s and pot’s would NEVER do such thing.
      If they don’t pay, it is because they are not active at all at that moment and don’t want to cancel their profile.
      And if they are active, they pay.

      It always makes me giggle to see those profiles stating $ 100 mill. net worth and $ 1 mill. yearly income, and then you don’t wanna pay $60 for membership?
      But really? LMAO

  160. cryptic anomaly says:

    @Elaine-They are probably scouting the site to see if it is worth paying to be a member or renew their membership. Just because a man is wealthy it doesn’t mean he is careless with his money.

  161. Elaine says:

    Why on earth are “SDs” without premium membership favouriting SBs??
    I mean, what’s the use?

    You are supposedly very whealthy, but not wanting to pay for a membership??
    And then favourite me?

    WHY Oh WHY !?

  162. Josh says:

    I am just going to respond here as I find indent to be idiotic.

    @Sunshine your profile is great. Read it over for typos, and you are good to go.

  163. Josh says:

    Indent has got to go.

  164. Sunshine2serenity says:

    Hmmm. So back on topicish.

    e7737cee

    Critique away! (Sorry no photos as it’s just a back up account and not my actual SB profile :))

    • Sunshine2serenity says:

      Oh and obviously I have “DON’T MESSAGE ME AS I WILL NOT RESPOND” as it’s not my real profile so ignore that. Seems like some SDs don’t read though :s.

    • lovelynyours says:

      Aww. I like it. Witty, descriptive, cute (I smiled at the pun). Your personality shines through. Casual, sweet, nurturing girl next door is what comes to mind. Lots of SDs will get a kick out of that. If that’s the story you were looking to tell, I think you nailed it. Solid work, Sunshine.

      When you were putting this together I thought perhaps you were split testing, but since you told people not to message you, I’m not entirely sure why you’re using a second profile. Are you just using it as a draft, where you’ll copy/paste it into your actual account?

      • Sunshine2Serenity says:

        Thank you :).
        I’d prefer to keep my blog and my real profile separate :). So I used a different account that I had made a while ago :).
        That said I don’t think it would be too hard for an SD to figure out lol. But it’s good to be slightly cautious.

      • lovelynyours says:

        Gotcha. That’s fair – was just curious.

  165. Josh says:

    The @Guru knows the difference between a ho and a hottie.

  166. Anonymous says:

    Throwing this out there….of you ever wonder how many people inconspicuously read the blog…a year or so ago, the conversations were inindated with stories…coffee and meeting with cofee ventures, cars and thei relations to women in comparison to life. Visuals of youtube and the manic alike engaged in conversation….Jerry Seinfeld came old with riding around in cars catered to each person he interviewed while having coffee…ahem…

  167. sugar baby monkey says:

    boring topic

  168. flyR says:

    “”Nothing I resent more than having to fight stereotypes that have nothing to do with my culture just because my skin happens to be same.””

    Amen

  169. Josh says:

    [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I1X5AF8Vo2Q]

    • lovelynyours says:

      Nah, not even. I don’t engage with people who can’t seem to follow a conversation thread and contribute without devolving it into a poorly constructed, hole-riddled, “whose culture and country is better” squat-and-piss match. Back to our normally scheduled programming. Any other black SBs wanna come complain about racism as the reason why they can’t find an SD? Or are there any non-black people who who want to unintentionally put their foot in their mouths this eve? That’s where we’d left off, right? Or perhaps we should rewind further. Change subjects? Yes, perhaps that’s best.

      How ’bout them Wolverines? Harbaugh, Amiright?

      • Jaybird923 says:

        @Lovely I believe we were discussing a blog on how to get Platonic SDs before the whole race thing came up. The link to the blog is lost in all this jumble

      • hototrot1 says:

        @lovely
        I zeroed in on one part of the discussion, because that was the only part I cared about. I don’t think anyone else’s stereotype is holding me back like you and Jay are saying. On one hand you’re not a victim of whites, but then you’re a victim of the evil AA’s their badly sterotyped culture. Get your head out of your rear end and really pay attention to what you are saying. You aren’t talking over anyone’s head. Please!

  170. hototrot1 says:

    On the subject of complaining black SBs. I agree it does need to stop. You can’t make anyone like you. I have never had a problem getting a man of any race that I wanted. But I’m a confident person, raised by proud people. And confidence on anybody of any persuasion is always a good look. So that part, I do agree. All of the other bunk/junk— take it to the trash!

  171. IHF2030 says:

    I see that hohohototrot is in rare form, again. lmsgao

    • hototrot1 says:

      @IHF2030

      Only for you, honey. I thought it would be a nice quiet night after last nights revelry and I turn on my computer and I just… couldn’t help myself.

  172. hototrot1 says:

    The Dominican Republic has a lot to say about you guys in their country. And it ain’t nothin’ nice. That’s all I’m sayin’. You could’ve defended yourself without talking about AA’s and I would’ve never brought any of this up.

    • lovelynyours says:

      The entire discussion was about AAs! Jay and I were DEFENDING..

      You know what. Nevermind. I’m just gonna go back to sipping my tea and not giving a shit about the gravatars on my computer screen.

      • hototrot1 says:

        @lovely
        “The entire discussion was about AAs! Jay and I were DEFENDING..”

        Re-read all of your comments and Jays from even a few nights before and tell me if that isn’t some of the most back-handed “defending” you ever read. I guess you are so casual with this prejudice that you never really thought how that might sound to a black person of AA background. I studied abroad at the University of West Indies in college for a summer. I saw things on the island of Jamaica that I can’t unsee. But, never in my wildest dreams would I use those experiences to judge myself superior. I just figured people have very specific situations everywhere. But, if I’m challenged by those very same people in my own homeland for really messed reasons, hell yes I will bring it up.

      • lovelynyours says:

        Hot, you just did. You spent the whole time you’ve been discussing this trying to have a pissing match of whose culture is better or worse. I won’t engage with you on this and go through another three hour long conversation, because you don’t matter enough, your opinion on my country (which is not Jamaica, by the way – beyond ignorant for you to try to mention) doesn’t matter enough, and winning this debate on a sugarbaby blog doesn’t matter enough. Plain and simple as that. Feel free to have the last word, since you clearly seem to need it more than I.

      • hototrot1 says:

        @lovely

        I said “If” as in hypothetically speaking. No one accused you of being a Jamaican. Reading comprehension.

      • lovelynyours says:

        Hot – No, you didn’t say “if” in your comment about Jamaica. Read it. Though I’m hardly surprised, you seem to be the type who deludes herself on a regular basis.

        I truly haven’t the faintest idea where you’re getting half the nonsense you’re spouting about attention and credentials and hypothetical white women (Did anyone understand what she was getting at, there?), but I’m going to be the bigger person, take a breath, and attempt to back this up away from the gutter, since you just can’t help but play the angry black woman card and I was actually raised to do and be better:

        Someone had said that it “would only make sense” that a white person would want to date a white person and also said that black women are less desirable and attempted to base that on scientific fact. A swarm of people on the blog called him out on that and defended black women, generally. You instead chose to spend the vast majority of your energy being upset with two black women who were the most vocal in defending the diaspora (which, in case you didn’t know, does include your community) and are, as it so happens, rightfully weary of having stereotypes ascribed to them that are attributed to members of another ethnicity who happen to share the same skin tone and similar features. Not only that, but you chose to then attempt (rather poorly, ignorantly, and inaccurately, I might add) to add a very juvenile, shallow, elementary tint to what was an healthy, informative, and spirited discussion by tearing down their ethnicities and/or countries based on imaginary musings you may or may not have conjured from “people” living in other, incredibly random countries completely unrelated to the conversation at hand. And did so knowing that you weren’t going to be able to comment on the fact that their ethnic communities here in the U.S. (the country that most of us are actually commenting from, and the country in which this site was founded and the country to which this site sells the majority of its memberships, last I looked) do not typically have these stereotypes ascribed to them unless they are mistaken as members of your ethnicity. The things other Americans have said to me about your ethnicity once they’ve discovered my people are elsewhere would make you pale and clutch your pearls in horror. I know they made me clutch mine. But you already know that. Which is why you’re so butthurt that there are people out there who are tired of feeling like they have to personally fight your community’s battles in this country just because they share the same skin color.

        But you couldn’t comment on THAT reality because that didn’t fit your delusional narrative.

        I know you know how absurd you sound.

        You KNOW there are negative stereotypes attributed to AAs in this country. You KNOW that right, wrong, or indifferent, they don’t manifest out of thin air. You KNOW they’re widely generated from observations of AA culture and community, IRL and in media, like BET. You KNOW that not all black people in this country are AA. I know you’re not the brightest bulb, but surely you’re aware of all of that. Surely you can see how, even generally, it would be frustrating to be lumped in with a culture by white people, black people, and everyone else, that is not your own – whether that culture had a lowest common denominator rife with stereotype perpetuation or not. And further, feel like you have to fight against that culture / community’s stereotypes on a regular basis. A culture, mind you, that your family does not resonate with or relate to in any material way.

        But perhaps you can’t. Because you’re so incredibly quick to see red, play the divisive, angry black woman stereotype, and go from 0 to 180 without taking a step back to evaluate the nuance, context, and perspective. Because you don’t have the capacity to put yourself in someone else’s shoes, which is widely known as the very hallmark of the emotionally and intellectually stunted.

        Or maybe you can’t just because it wasn’t an African-American who said it.

        A number of people have come to me and told me you were an idiot and that you start conflict in moronic ways because you like to hear yourself speak, and I’ve been told you’re largely ignored here as a result. But this, coupled with the unintelligible idiocy and ignorance you just spewed, certainly takes the cake. You can rest assured this conversation is over. I haven’t the patience, time, energy, nor inclination to deal with people who are so emotionally stunted and drained of sense that they can’t form coherent sentences without proving my VERY point.

        You’re heated because you know there’s validity to what has been said, and you’re running your mouth to justify your asinine response because you feel threatened. Neither of which is my problem nor my business.

        And you wonder why people can’t talk about race in this country.

      • hototrot1 says:

        @lovely

        You tried to underhandedly throw AAs under the bus as if trifling ratchetness never existed in your culture or home countries. Just say you don’t like that type of person. That is not a subset of my culture. That’s just street life you’re speaking of. That’s the sideswipe I’m talking about. I’m the only person to point that out. I guess other people are too intimidated or whatever to do so. You weren’t standing up for me or any other black woman, but trying to protect your special snowflake status. There are many low level white trailer SBs infesting this site, but RussianSB doesn’t feel compelled to make a big whole point of how she feels hindered by them. She stays true to her self and keeps it movin’.

        I don’t care about “fitting the stereotype”, because I don’t think any white person is superior to me that they have a right to judge me period. I am me, take me or leave me.

        I don’t participate in group think, so whatever anyone has told you off blog about me, I couldn’t give two hoots about.

        Besides, I thought you were too classy to engage further. Ha You’re a low life who thought you could get away with something slick and got found out. Oh, well, happens to the best of us.

        Btw, I did say “if”. Read again.

        Good Morning!

      • hototrot1 says:

        @lovely

        For all you know, the people you’re going out of your way to prove yourself to are living in a trailer eating mayonaise sandwhich and bemoaning the fact that Honey Boo Boo got cancelled. You’re elevating white people just for the mere fact that they’re white. Why is it just assumed that whites are educated and cultured. When you make these pronouncements, that’s what you’re inferring. And it says a lot about how you feel about black people and consequentially yourself. Think about it. But, you’ll never understand, because you’re hell bent on hating AA’s who’ve kept your precious “educated, culture” whites from seeing you for you.

        If AA’s stereotypes never held me back from my pursuits, I honestly don’t see how they could hold you back, when you’re not even a member of the community. You have really overstated the situation and come off silly and shrill.

        I thought you were better. I liked you at first, but you brought race into this the minute you accused me of calling Jay white-washed. That’s more your obsession than mine. You hate race topics, but that’s your stock and trade.

      • hototrot1 says:

        @lovely

        Also be careful about what you say about the original Black Americans (I’m not really a fan of the title AA), because there are many on this board, including regulars. I know you have a vested interest in being popular and being liked, you are not me. In trying to get me, you are also insulting them. Thin line, thin line. Tread carefully.

  173. hototrot1 says:

    @Jay

    I do believe it was African Americans who were campaining in the late 80’s and 90’s for the boatloads of HIV infected Haitians to come here when the US was sending them away to their deaths on the high seas. All the while, this same country was letting Cubans in with no problem.

    You’ve had your own country for 300 years while AA have had to live and interact with the same people that brought us here. Some how in all of that time Haiti hasn’t gotten itself together. I’m sure you have a litany of excuses as to why. Don’t judge unless you want judgment coming back to you. If Haiti is a land full of hardworking, values-oriented people, how did it end up in the condition it is in? A land is only as good as it’s people. It is the poorest country in the Western Hemisphere. And yes, I know my history. I know France made you pay them back for the revolution. And you guys did! Pathetic.

    • lovelynyours says:

      If you think disparaging (in a rather elementary, juvenile way, I might add) an entire country, ANY country, is going to win you points on this blog, in this discussion, you are woefully, astonishingly mistaken, my dear. And in case you didn’t notice while you were spewing bile while all in your feelings, you just perpetuated another stereotype. So congrats to you on that.

      • hototrot1 says:

        AA may not have a country to call our own, but we have a culture. You come for mine, I come for yours. I’m not trying to win points, I’m making points.

      • lovelynyours says:

        You didn’t come for mine, because you can’t. You can’t come for me, darling, unless you’re sent for.

      • Josh says:

        Of course, @Ho is an idiot par excellence. 😉

      • lovelynyours says:

        Clearly, Josh. Clearly. Duly noted.

    • Jaybird923 says:

      @Hot Do you feel better now? Hopefully you do. You are classless individual who doesn’t posses the necessary intellect to debate a subject without stooping to the lowest common denominator.

      Before you appeared everyone was having a heated debate but no one stooped to pulling shit out of their ass just to have something to say. And you wonder why people avoid you like the plague.

      You can say whatever you like say HIV infected Haitian all you like. I don’t really care because like always you’re the one who looks like an idiot. I won’t even bother with a rebuttal to anything you said because to continue with you would only serve to make look as bad as you do.

      • RookieSD says:

        Don’t stop now, lets keep rockin to the break of day.

      • hototrot1 says:

        @Jay

        Call me classless, but I don’t pontificate and obfuscate when there is some lowdown trash being discussed. I cut right to the chase. I don’t entertain a**holery under the pretension of intellectual discourse.

      • Josh says:

        I am about to bail out. I have to wake up at 5:30 AM.

      • Jaybird923 says:

        @Rookie I am going to stop because let’s be honest her attacking me has nothing to do with what was posted. If asked to she couldn’t quote one thing negative I said about African American. I spent the whole time defending black women as a whole.

        But when some one is so pathetic that they give a complete stranger enough value in their life to let their hatred of them influence their behavior. You have to feel sorry for them.

        She was willing to sacrifice her dignity in an attempt to get at me. Which she can’t because she is insignificant to me. You can only hurt or care if someone matters to you … and she doesn’t

      • RookieSD says:

        Well I guess that concludes this episode of Friday Night Fights,
        I’m going to have me a wet dream thanks to all the lovely ladies.

      • lovelynyours says:

        You hit the nail on the head, Jay. In getting upset about the mentioning of AA stereotypes, she became a walking one. Ah, the irony.

        This feels like the messy byproduct of some deep-seeded, racial insecurity issues that are more appropriately aired in a therapy session than blasted with vitriol at two strangers on a blog. Once I understood that, it was easy to let it go pretty quickly. That’s simply how some people are and there’s nothing any of us can do to change that. And certainly not here, of all places.

      • hototrot1 says:

        @lovely
        “This feels like the messy byproduct of some deep-seeded, racial insecurity issues that are more appropriately aired in a therapy session than blasted with vitriol at two strangers on a blog.”

        Inferiority? To you and Jay. LOLOLOL Get real. That was a scream. You guys go on and on about who is liked and who is popular. As you can see, I don’t care. If I did I’d kiss a lot of behind and agree with all the nonsense around here. Sorry, I don’t conform to stupid. You got called out. Deal.

      • hototrot1 says:

        @lovely
        If anyone’s insecure, it’s you and Jay. With all of your “credentials”, any subpar (in your eyes) white woman could easily steal the attention you’ve so carefully cultivated on this board. That’s why you relish the sb profile critiques. That’s your chance to get even. Look at what you did to vixen. Observe the witches coven that commences the minute any sb is fawned over by the SDs on here too much. Pay attention blog. It’s quite comical.

      • lovelynyours says:

        I don’t even know where to start on that one. What would a white woman, as you put it, coming to the blog have to do with anything? What delusional, pathetic race-driven story have you crafted in your mind, now?

        OH, no. You’re pretending to misunderstand me. Or you’re just that slow, I can’t tell which. Not insecurity in reference to me or Jay or anyone else in particular. Racial insecurity, honey. But then, you already knew that. Which is why you’re so heated.

        As to the rest of it, you sound envious. But I’m not entirely sure what there is to be envious of, exactly. All I’ve done from the start is call it like I see it and I so happen to have zero patience for shadiness or idiocy, which you can now attest to personally in addition to DV, Honey with her race card-playing, and the profile spammer who was garishly looking for an SD to click to her profile. I have no skin in this game, so to speak, so I say what I like and will continue to do so. You’re the only one who said anything about popularity, which is incredibly telling as to where all this hatred is coming from. Were you bullied as a child? Not part of the popular crowd? It’s okay; neither was I, for a little while.

        The difference is that I grew the %$#@ up and got over it.

        As far as I can tell, the bulk of the “attention” (seriously, guys? Is that really a thing here? Curious minds want to know) I’ve received here was garnered when you opened your mouth and gave it to me tonight. So, that sounds like it’s coming from your feelings and insecurities rather than any legitimate hold in reality. Now you just sound petty and thirsty. I don’t feel one way or the other about being here, because I, like I imagine many people who participate here, have an actual life away from this screen. And well, I’ve been here a total of maybe 2-ish weeks. And by “here”, I mean reading / contributing to a blog comment thread. Any blog comment thread, in fact.

        Your comment about Vixen and the SDs make it clear to me that perhaps you internalize this blog in a manner that is mentally dangerous and you should consider taking a break for a while. Anyone who pays attention to “attention”, popularity, or “SD fawning” (which I didn’t really notice, but then I’m no veteran) needs some fresh air and a hobby. None of what happens on this blog affects my bottom line, my standing in the community, my actual friendships, or any of what I accomplish in life. I find it incredibly pathetic that you’d even have that mentality towards a cyber forum. It’s not real life, my dear. You can step out of the matrix now. Stop worrying about the attention someone is or isn’t getting ONLINE. It’s just sad looking.

      • hototrot1 says:

        @lovely

        I don’t care about attention. I only mentioned it because you said you were forewarned about me and that I was unpopular. Only people who crave attention care about that sort of thing.

        You have only recently started commenting on the blog. And Jay not so long before you. I do hate how you guys have begun to clog the airwaves in such a small amount of time. I don’t know who appointed you judge, jury and executioner but they need to be fired! Fresh voices please!!!

    • Josh says:

      I am betting on @Jay.

  174. LikeHoney1 says:

    I have made some changes to my profile.
    Again, Jay and Lovely, I really appreciate the advice.
    @SugarBabyMonkey ummmm thanks…..I think. I disagree though, I saw jCallie and I think she’s gorgeous.
    Everyone have a great evening

  175. IHF2030 says:

    Good thing I managed to stock up on the Guinness and cashews.

  176. Josh says:

    @Crypt

    You are dead wrong when you generalize your argument too much.

    Yes, a segment of Black/AA women are highly undesirable, and hence unsuccessful with sugar, and I assume with men in general; even with Black/AA men. The rest are just fine.

    @Kenna is Black and almost sabotaged her relationship with her White SD/BF. But due to her education and non-American upbringing, was smart enough to heed sincere advice.

    I guided her and she married him with a lucrative pre-nup, and also got pregnant with him. There are examples of other very successful Black/AA SBs who are either active on the blog or have benefited from advice and are doing well.

    The undesirable ones are: Obnoxious, know-it-all, argumentative, strong-independent-women-on-welfare, who believe that the Affirmative Action applies (or at least should apply) EVERYWHERE. And that they can violently rub the race card on the faces of whoever does not give them what they desire.

    • Josh says:

      You screwed up. Blame it on alcohol, apologize and move on. 😉

    • RookieSD says:

      Too late, he grabbed the noose.

    • Josh says:

      I am not into “PC madness thing” either. But I articulate my arguments differently. I tell these obnoxious, idiotic, loud-mouthed, know-it-all, strong-independent-women-on-welfare, Affirmative Action Sugar Black/AA bitches off all the time but I don’t generalize, because it is factually incorrect.

      I engage with women, in general, on limited, as-needed basis. My experience with Black women in bed has been great. 😉

    • MissLady says:

      @cryptic you state ‘If AA’s or black women want to know why they are the least desired of all races then I suggest they type “Black women least attractive” how in the heck is that not generalizing??

      • cryptic anomaly says:

        It was directed at the AA’s/black women who keep blaming their skin tone on their lack of success. And I find these things interesting, there have been many studies on it.

  177. MissLady says:

    There’s not enough liquor in the house to entertain tonight’s postings, lol will catch back up later

  178. NC Gent says:

    What a night… Josh is sober and two of his proxies are drunk. Go figure!

  179. lovelynyours says:

    I agree with you, cryptic. But this is much more nuanced than that. Yes, there are black women who perpetuate stereotypes that make it rather difficult for other black women in some respects. But there is also a massive divergence of culture within the diaspora that necessitates re-evaluation. Those who aren’t black should be evaluating black women on a case-by-case basis rather than deciding that none of them are appealing based on preconceived notions – even if those notions did come from a real place. We’re not all loud, rude, ghetto women with victim mentalities and a chip on our shoulders. Black women who fit the stereotype need to step their game up by eons, yes, but others also need be a bit more open-minded and recognize that just as whites, asians, and hispanics aren’t all the same, neither are we.

    I also copied and pasted that into Google, out of curiosity. Most of the first page were articles like this: [http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/05/17/satoshi-kanazawa-black-women-less-attractive_n_863327.html]

    Not sure if that’s what you were actually going for.

    • Jaybird923 says:

      @Lovely I agree. That’s my number one pet peeve is that people treat all blacks as one big homogeneous group. We come from all over and have different values, views and beliefs that are influenced by different cultures.

      Nothing I resent more than having to fight stereotypes that have nothing to do with my culture just because my skin happens to be same.

    • RookieSD says:

      You go girl…

    • lovelynyours says:

      Spot on.

      “Nothing I resent more than having to fight stereotypes that have nothing to do with my culture just because my skin happens to be same.”

      Absolutely, Jay. I find it rather burdensome and emotionally draining. My family comes from a completely different background, history, and culture than African-Americans in the U.S., and yet I have to fight this sort of stuff on a regular basis. Right, wrong, or indifferent, I resent both people who generalize and people who perpetuate the tacky stereotypes to begin with.

    • Jaybird923 says:

      @Cryptic I wasn’t talking about my profile. Like I’ve said I have no problems what so ever. I never have … not in real life not online.

    • Anonymous says:

      I hope this doesn’t become a denigration of AA culture. I come from a proud family of centuries deep AA people who made this country what it is and provided ample opportunities for other people to come over her and even have a dream. My grandparents, parents and I are all COLLEGE GRADUATES. You can have pride in your culture without belittling mine lovely and jay. I didn’t want to step into this conversation, BUT This(!) right here has got to stop. I could go to the Caribbean and judge myself against the lowest common denominator and declare myself the winner, but I would never do that. It’s not right, and it’s not fair. Last time I checked, some folks still think all Haitians have HIV and are dirty and uncivilized. So in defending yourself against stereotypes, make sure you aren’t doing the same thing people.

      NOBODY IN FAMILY EVER GOT A HANDOUT FOR ANYTHING. If you come to the US, respect the people who were here fighting long before you ever set foot on these shores. Nothing was ever given!!!!

      And @cryptic, I’ve held my tongue on you for a long minute. You’ve said a lot of “suspect” stuff over the course of many blogs. Because I’m AA and have dealt with your type in the Midwest growing up, I noticed the red flags immediately. That’s why I often cut short our communications, because I smelled what was coming. But, this is an argument that can’t be one. And now I will exit this conversation…

    • hototrot1 says:

      I hope this doesn’t become a denigration of AA culture. I come from a proud family of centuries deep AA people who made this country what it is and provided ample opportunities for other people to come over her and even have a dream. My grandparents, parents and I are all COLLEGE GRADUATES. You can have pride in your culture without belittling mine lovely and jay. I didn’t want to step into this conversation, BUT This(!) right here has got to stop. I could go to the Caribbean and judge myself against the lowest common denominator and declare myself the winner, but I would never do that. It’s not right, and it’s not fair. Last time I checked, some folks still think all Haitians have HIV and are dirty and uncivilized. So in defending yourself against stereotypes, make sure you aren’t doing the same thing people.

      NOBODY IN FAMILY EVER GOT A HANDOUT FOR ANYTHING. If you come to the US, respect the people who were here fighting long before you ever set foot on these shores. Nothing was ever given!!!!

      And @cryptic, I’ve held my tongue on you for a long minute. You’ve said a lot of “suspect” stuff over the course of many blogs. Because I’m AA and have dealt with your type in the Midwest growing up, I noticed the red flags immediately. That’s why I often cut short our communications, because I smelled what was coming. But, this is an argument that can’t be one. And now I will exit this conversation…

      • hototrot1 says:

        *won*

      • hototrot1 says:

        In sad news, Omar Sharif, one of the great sugar daddies of the silver screen died today. The lovely Dr. Zhivago. Should go and watch it to soothe my mild case of insomnia. Ahh so dark and handsome. Mmmmm RIP

      • CucumberOnLids says:

        Wait isn’t that the guy from Doctor Zhivago? *tears*

      • hototrot1 says:

        Yes, @Cucumber. I loved him! BooHoo. He was also in “Lawrence of Arabia” and “Funny Girl”. I’ve always had a thing for mysterious Mediterranean men. I think it started with him.

    • lovelynyours says:

      I don’t expect you to get it, cryptic, nor do I expect to wax philosophic about the nuances and complexities inherent in assessing the delta in the challenges present for one racial group versus another on a sugar daddy blog (except to say we all know we’d never agree that blonde haired, blue eyed person faces challenges on the same level as a middle eastern muslim or an African-American born in Compton). I think we can agree in some areas and agree to disagree in others, take notes, file them away, and leave it at that.

      Long story short, yes, Honey: “If you don’t fit the stereotype of what you look like than it is important to let that shine through in your profile and how you express yourself. Otherwise people see a photo, or a profile and they judge you on it.”

    • lovelynyours says:

      Hot, all stereotypes come from a real place – they don’t magically appear out of thin air. We weren’t talking about all AAs, we were talking specifically about the lowest common denominator that perpetuates these stereotypes. If that isn’t you or your family, then it isn’t you or your family. Simple as that. I wasn’t defending myself against anything and nor was Jay – cryptic wasn’t actually referring to us at all. But we stepped in to defend the black diaspora as a whole. I won’t apologize for that and meant every letter.

    • Jaybird923 says:

      @Anonymous even though I think we know who you are. Not once did I put african americans down or make generalization about a whole group of people. But because you guys were here first has you put it any negative stereotypes that were started with you guys are applied to everyone who looks similar. I have a right to resent it just like I’m sure thousands of AA women resent the same stereotypes being applied to them because of a small majority.

      Haiti is a third world country majority of the population is uneducated and poor. But a lot of people aren’t My family isn’t and I would resent that stereotype also.

      And since you brought up HIV the same stereotype can be applied to AA since they have the highest number of new cases each year so I don’t really see the purpose of introducing that into the conversation. besides you the fact that you thought it would irritate me.

      And check your history Haitians have done a lot for AA’s and America it’s not in your history books but we’ve been paying our dues since the revolutionary war.

    • lovelynyours says:

      Jay: BOOM. You said it.

      *drops mic*

    • hototrot1 says:

      @lovely

      If you’re were just talking about a “type”, you should’nt have brought my culture into it. And yes, we have a culture. Just as you guys have yours back home, we have one here. I have a white British friend. She loves me, but hates the black Caribbeans and Africans who inhabit “her” country. She’s full of stereotypes about them. In Europe I’m the “Special Snow Flake Black Gal”. But, I always set her straight. I might not be from the islands, but I am still black and I will not sit for any disrespect of another black culture, even if I think I’ll get especially favorited by doing so. I’m smart to understand that conquer and divide ploy.

      Talk about individuals and there will be no problems. It’s really not that freakin’ hard!

    • lovelynyours says:

      If you bothered to follow the blog (which I’ll admit, the new format makes that a bit more difficult), you’ll note that I and Hay were talking about a subset of “your” culture that exhibits that “type” because that was the subset that was brought up in conversation. If you don’t like that, that’s fine. The beauty of living in America is that you don’t have to. My comments stand, in their entirety.

    • lovelynyours says:

      *Jay

  180. Josh says:

    Dang. Both of my proxies are simultaneously drunk. LOL!

  181. NC Gent says:

    Me ruv Asian worman rong time
    black women not so much but I always go for small framed women

  182. Sunshine2serenity says:

    Now we just need Sugar Baby Monkey to chime in and it’ll be drama to the max O_O.

  183. Josh says:

    @Cryptic: Are you drinking as well?

  184. LikeHoney1 says:

    interesting

    • sugar baby monkey says:

      Hi likehoney1, i’m the monkey of the blog. In my opinión you should move on. In this site there are many ugly white women, so it’s not about the breed. Though i know many guys say they don’t want black girls, however it depends on taste. One time i saw a photo of a racist white guy with an ugly hispanic girl, her face was like a gorilla or a rat. Yesterday other hispanic girl jcallie62 had gorilla face also and these guys agreed with her profile was ok, if her profile was ok, your profile is very good, for sure. So, be quiet and you will find your SD.

  185. Josh says:

    @Cryptic: Ouch!!!

  186. RookieSD says:

    Damn Crypt, what are you really trying to say here?

    • lovelynyours says:

      Don’t backtrack now, cryptic. A large percentage of the SBs on this site are black or mixed. The ratio is, last I saw 8 females for every 1 male. So if black women are complaining about not finding a guy, it is FAR more likely that it is simply a function of basic mathematics, NOT a function of black women being less desirable. So no, it is not obvious that black women are the least sought after.

      I will say that black women are faster to play the race card when they’re passed by than non-black women; that, in my experience, would be a fair assessment. But that’s purely anecdotal and not founded in any scientific or statistical evidence. I wouldn’t call that a freedom to complain, but it is a flaw.

    • Jaybird923 says:

      @Cryptic No there isn’t anything obvious about it. it’s Just because the most vocal are the black woman who are complainers that rely to heavily on the race card. There are plenty of other black women who have no problems we just don’t spend our time on blogs and Instagram talking about it.

    • lovelynyours says:

      No, I think we can all safely surmise that you indeed took it to a whole other level, cryptic – you made it racial as well, just in a slightly different direction than Honey. I don’t have PC shock at all – this isn’t the first time I’ve encountered a poorly-articulated statement laced with undertones of ignorance. Don’t get me wrong, I truly don’t think you mean to sound the way you do and I’m not labeling you at all; in your head it probably makes sense. But you’re talking to people who (mostly) live in a country with an extremely complicated and violent racial history. Please do keep that in mind.

      And that scientific research you mention comes up when you Google “scientific racism”, or “the eugenics of social darwinism”. I think you might want to rethink the use of that sort of research as a reference, here.

      • cryptic anomaly says:

        @Jay-No, I responded in a logical manner. Anyway this will be my last post on the blog. I have truly had enough of all the shallowness and stupidity on here.

  187. Jaybird923 says:

    @Cryptic Don’t say you agree with me and follow up with black women are the most undesired. I said nothing of the sort nor did I imply it. And I don’t believe it true.

    It just depends what environment you’re in. In spite of more relaxed views on interracial relationships the majority of people prefer to date there own race.

    If you’re in an environment where the majority of people are Asian and you’re white the Asian men are going to be more successful than you. It’s just plain common sense.

  188. Josh says:

    @Cryptic, check this out [http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2111203/Seeing-man-upset-makes-women-happy–shows-relationship-strong.html] 😉

  189. LikeHoney1 says:

    Thank you Lovely, I understand what you’re saying.

  190. Josh says:

    I think I am done with @LikeHoney1.

    She is another argumentative “strong, independent woman”, who knows better. She’s seeking sugar from White man, but she ain’t gettin’ none.

  191. Jaybird923 says:

    To all future AA/Black SBs. Please just ask for help with your profile with out bringing race into it. Every one so far who have thought their race was the issue has had profiles filled with problems.

    • lovelynyours says:

      OMG, YES. I JUST said the same thing to Honey in my critique.

      • Jaybird923 says:

        @Lovely I’m just so tired of hearing about it. This inferiority complex thing has to stop. If you say it enough people will start to believe it and it’s not true. Are you going to be everyone’s type no. But if you are carrying yourself properly and have a proper profile you’ll have no problems.

      • lovelynyours says:

        Agreed. It’s essentially a self-fulfilling prophecy. And it’s a huge turn off. I’m not even an SD and I get turned off from SBs who claim their lack of success is about race. Nobody likes people who play the race card. So people who do so wind up alienating themselves AND making the entire group less desirable, in a sense. Frustrating.

        Be the woman that your ideal man will be attracted to. It’s just that simple.

    • RookieSD says:

      @Jay
      Oh, you going to start some shit up now…

      • Jaybird923 says:

        @Rookie LOL I’m doing it especially for you. I know how much you enjoy the drama lol

    • rembodler says:

      Jaybird923 says:
      July 10, 2015 at 7:10 pm
      @Remmy Are you drinking and blogging again?

      I am. I just wasn’t aware it is so plainly obvious.

      • Jaybird923 says:

        @Remmy I always know when you’re hitting the bottle. the tone of your comments change.

      • Sunshine2serenity says:

        I hope you’re browsing profiles and taking a sip every time you see “spoil” and “princess”. I’m sure you’ll be quite tipsy soon :P.

    • LikeHoney1 says:

      Ouch, sorry. I’ve spoken to a couple of SBs with my skin tone who agreed it was hard but my apologies for speaking on my feelings

      • Josh says:

        More accurately, you spoke with women with your skin tone with equally bad profile. As I said, the more your write the more I know that you are proactively fucking up your chances for success. Don’t worry too much about it. It is not race thing. It is more of a woman thing. But White man comes to White idiots more often than not. So they have it tad better.

        The White man does not owe you shit. Maybe try restricting your search to non-Whites and see how that goes. 😉

      • LikeHoney1 says:

        Josh, incorrect, I never said they were online.

      • LikeHoney1 says:

        “The white man does not owe you shit”
        There’s more than white man on here, I never said “white” men aren’t messaging me Josh.

    • lovelynyours says:

      I don’t know why it “would only make sense” that a white guy would only want a white girl – I don’t think that’s the case much of the time, in my own experiences. But I think that depends on where you are. Cosmopolitan cities have high rates of interracial dating or interracial interest, even in very wealthy circles. Sort of an emerging trend, it seems.

    • lovelynyours says:

      It’s actually not considered racist for someone to have a preference, and I resent that you’re trying to put words in my mouth. Most people do prefer to stick to their own race, perhaps, but there are millions, in all income brackets, at all levels of education, who do not, or who would entertain dating outside of their race. So no, it would not “only make sense”, unless you lived in 1920 and not 2015.

  192. LikeHoney1 says:

    I’ll try Josh

  193. LikeHoney1 says:

    Zito oh God my autocorrect wants your name to be Ziti so bad. Anywhoo, you click “next” even when there’s 4 pictures available for private viewing?

  194. LikeHoney1 says:

    Josh, your response is so vague. Please tell me why

    • Josh says:

      I don’t give profile advice anymore. I am sure others will. Just be patient. 😉

      • LikeHoney1 says:

        I wasn’t aware you’d reached celebrity status. My apologies

      • Josh says:

        With that comment I have a feeling that you will have difficult time with sugar. Post more and I will evaluate if you have a chance at all. 😉

      • rembodler says:

        Josh says:
        July 10, 2015 at 6:46 pm
        “…good looking woman, but your profile is boring as hell.”

        I am just saying – never had a problem with that.

    • rembodler says:

      “you profile is boring as hell”
      OK… Oh , Guru Almighty, I am going to disagree with you. Please forgive. I repent.

      It is perfectly OK to have a “boring” profile. In fact, you should not try to stand out. There is no point. As soon as you are the prettiest girl in the “boring” black dress, men cannot care less.
      Just try avoiding the obvious “…the strong independent Queen in collage who is looking to be spoiled rotten” trap, AND if you are pretty, polite and respond promptly to messages – it is my very humble opinion that you will have a choice of SDs to select from.
      Most men aren’t looking for a Françoise Sagan. Just for a happy healthy pretty chick.

  195. sugar baby monkey says:

    monkey is depressed now. monkey wants to d*e

  196. LikeHoney1 says:

    Oh and hello Jay, Josh, Lovely, Zito, and the rest of the loyal commenters. I’m Honey

    • Jaybird923 says:

      hello Honey and welcome to the blog :)

    • Josh says:

      You seem to be good looking woman, but your profile is boring as hell.

    • Jaybird923 says:

      @Honey Well I’m pretty sure your problems have nothing to do with your skin tone and everything to do with your profile.

      1) Lose the picture with you bent over in the chair. Not classy at all

      2) your profile lacks personality. You say you’re funny and witty but I didn’t see any of that in your profile.

      3)You never mention what you bring to the table why should an SD choose you.

      4)There’s a lot of stuff that just don’t make sense and serve no purpose like “We can be each other’s enigmas!” What does that even mean?

      5) Your what I’m looking for section is useless. If I was an Sd reading it I would have no idea what you’re looking for, If we’re compatiable, etc. So I wouldn’t even bother writing.

      6) I would remove the quick question part. why would advertise the fact that men look at you but don’t want you? Always try to avoid putting negative things in your profile. Hope this helps

  197. LikeHoney1 says:

    Guys, I would love some advice on my profile. I feel like its twice as hard for me because of my skin tone. I’ve changed my wording quite a few times and still just get looks without messages. Please help

    • IHF2030 says:

      What is it with you black women from Texas always whining and playing the race card? White men are not obligated to find you attractive! Nor are White men obligated to provide you with any sugar! As one poster on here so eloquently put it: there is no affirmative action sugaring.

      • LikeHoney1 says:

        This whole comment is humorous

      • IHF2030 says:

        My comment was not meant to be humorous. That snide quip you made about race will be a turn off, even for White men who open to being with black women.

      • lovelynyours says:

        Sadly, IHF, it’s not just black women from Texas. And it’s really frustrating.

    • lovelynyours says:

      1. I’m not in love with your headliner. We know you’re black, but that’s the majority of SBs on this site – it adds nothing to your profile whatsoever.

      2. Get rid of the hello line. It just takes up space. Are you actually asking your pot SD to call you Honey? As in, he wouldn’t ever call you by your real name? That feels escort-y to me. I’d reconsider that.

      3. Don’t complain about men not messaging you in your profile. It only encourages other men not to message you, since it makes you come off as though you’re not desired.

      4. You’ll need to talk about what you bring to the arrangement. How will your SD feel when you’re around? What will you do to make him feel special? What makes you interesting and unique?

      5. You seem to have thrown in a lot of cliche lines – your sense of humor, business suit to jeans, outgoing, finer things in life, down to earth. If all of these are true, fine, but at least convey them in a way that’s more original. Show, don’t tell. Show you have a sense of humor – show that you’re outgoing, etc. I’d pick two or three and focus on those.

      6. I don’t know if any SDs are going to be down for you hiding your face. If you have private pics that show who you are, great – I just imagine that a number of guys will probably pass over your profile pic in the list if it’s got a heart over it.

      Some advice: your skin tone has nothing to do with it. Not to be harsh, it’s just that I’m really tired of black women complaining about not finding what they’re looking and blaming it on their race. If you’re marketing yourself appropriately and carrying yourself in a way that’s appealing to the type of man you’re looking to attract, you won’t have a hard time getting dates or finding what you’re looking for, unless you’re looking for something in a very specific niche.

      • LikeHoney1 says:

        1. My headliner came to me as an advice to own one of my qualities that make me stand out.
        2. No, it’s like an introduction of my name
        5. My profile is just an advertisement of myself, my sense of humor typically comes out in messages. I didn’t know I couldn’t mention it without a joke following it.
        I appreciate your advice, it’s not harsh, it’s your honest opinion and I thank you.

      • lovelynyours says:

        But my point is that your blackness does not make you stand out. You’re in the majority, on this site. So you need a headliner that speaks to what makes you unique and that targets the type of SD you’re looking for.

        I’d remove the intro to your name. The way you phrase it makes it sound as though that isn’t really your name and that’s just what you want men to call you.

        You can mention whatever you like, technically. I’m just telling you that having a “sense of humor” is something that is found in 90% of profiles, not just on this site, but on all dating sites. It’s like saying you enjoy long walks on the beach. It’s just overdone. If you show that you’re funny and have a sense of humor in your profile, you’ll be more successful in making it authentic rather than contrived.

    • Sunshine2serenity says:

      The main thing is that your pictures are letting you down. Leave a little for the guy to imagine. Sexy isn’t necessarily about showing it all, it’s about picking one thing and tastefully showing it off (the old no cleavage with a mini skirt rule). Sometimes being all covered up but with a hint of sexy is enough to drive a man crazy. Victorian England and ankles is a prime example (seems to be in Greek myth too – WHAT IS WITH ANKLES). But I digress – So your main photo you could button your shirt up one or two buttons, hold a cup of your favorite drink in hand and crop the photo so your photo and a little bit of cleavage is showing.

      I don’t have a face pic in my public photos, I used to have a blurry face picture but as soon as I changed to a body shot I got 10x as many messages. I think guys get the privacy thing but they don’t want to be reminded of it, so blurring your face or putting something over it makes them wonder what you have to hide. Cropping when done right just looks like a photo with zoom.

      Remove the chair photo it makes you look cheap.

      Your car photo is more the kind of photos you should be using. However it might be better to pose next to a sculpture or a tree or something “non materialistic”. To me next to a car just gives bad vibes – if I was an SD I’d be thinking does she want a car? does she like cars? is she just after my money? However if you fix your other photos, maybe have something more smart casual/sweet then that photo would be fine :).

      Take out the “you can call me Honey”. It sounds like someone would walk in and ask for Honey which isn’t what being an SB is about.

      I’m making a big assumption that you’re not looking for P4P, even if you are however guys on here expect something a little classier :).

      • Sunshine2serenity says:

        Classier as in profile photos.
        Sorry if I’m being a little too harsh. I think you have a lovely opportunity if you take on board everyone’s advice and work out what works for you.
        I feel sad when I see a beautiful woman like yourself missing out because of how certain things can come across :(.

  198. Jaybird923 says:

    I came across an interesting blog today on how to get a Platonic SD. It’s amazing how much thought and detail she put into it. But the way she goes about it is shady and underhanded. I’m kind of hesitant to post the link… but I guess it can serve as a warning to the SDs on what to look out for. [http://chisugarbabe.tumblr.com/post/56481629660/how-to-land-a-strictly-platonic-sugar-daddy-or]

    • Josh says:

      I do like good actresses.

      • Jaybird923 says:

        @Josh LOL I’ll take that as a compliment since I know how much you value great acting skills. But out of curiosity which part of the post do you think I’m applying those skills to? My hesitation or my concern for the SDs? :-))

    • RookieSD says:

      @Jaybird
      Sadly the dudes that chic is targeting can’t be saved.

    • rembodler says:

      I think – if a guy really has means – he can always convert a “NO SEX” SB to a “Can we have sex tonite?” SB.
      All the SD has to do, is to start “losing interest”. Every woman (it is a basic instinct) knows that the easiest way to keep a man she wants to keep, is to offer him sex. It is short, sweet and effective. Which she will do.
      As a disclaimer, this is just a theory by a “handsome guy with a winning smile”. I never really clicked on the “no sex”profiles. Plenty of fish.

      • Jaybird923 says:

        @Remmy Well she’s not targeting handsome guys with winning smiles. In fact she warns the girls to stay away from them… something about them being cocky :-))

    • Sunshine2serenity says:

      Thing I don’t get is why these women don’t just look for a Sexy Unicorn – a guy who they want to jump in the sheets with who wants an arrangement.
      There’s guys on here in their 20’s and 30’s that do modelling (so apparently they’re hot) looking for arrangements.
      I hate rules so the no sex thing would bug the hell out of me lol.

    • Josh says:

      I don’t know what your question is. I was talking about the blogger’s suggestion to her audience to be good actresses.

  199. Josh says:

    SB profile says “I will keep you on your toes.” I guess she is looking for a ballet dancer.

  200. IHF2030 says:

    This is a good article, but I imagine most of the advice will fall on deaf ears. My membership expired on here, recently, and I don’t think I’m going to renew. There are just way too many self-entitled, delusional females on here.

  201. Josh says:

    [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kYmt8F4ECwQ]

  202. Josh says:

    The average size is at least 20.

    • Sunshine2serenity says:

      Thanks lol. I just sprayed cola (amusingly enough) all over my keyboard!

      • Josh says:

        When you see women on the street what to do you see more of? The 4 on the right or the 4 on the right? [http://www.newcoopstore.com/size-charts/]

    • lovelynyours says:

      HA! It feels that way, in some places in the South, anyway.

    • Josh says:

      Yes, there are spots in the country, such as, NYC, LA, SF, Vancouver, Southern CT, Miami, etc., you will find a good number of women looking like the the 4 women on the left. However, most of American women look like 4 women on the right.

    • Sunshine2serenity says:

      Same here in Aus except I seem to see more of a divide. It’s either far left or far right. It’s not just politics that is getting more extreme!

      To me L looks hotter than M, and L and S look hotter than XS and M.

      • lovelynyours says:

        I prefer my women to be S. XS only if they’re built curvy with a great natural rack (which is incredibly rare), M if they’ve got padding in all the right places and a flat tummy. I’d have to pass on the others.

  203. Sunshine2serenity says:

    @jcallie62
    Perfect. Love what you did with your profile :). I’m sure you’ll find your perfect SD very soon :).

    P.S. You’re stunning!

    • Jaybird923 says:

      @sunshine I agree

      @Jcallie Great job! So many people come here for help but most never really take the advice given. I wish you the best of luck and hope everything works out perfectly for you.

    • Sugar Baby says:

      thank you sunshine! I appreciated everyone’s advice and had some extra help too. I’ve added the no makeup picture too :)

      @jay thank you! I hope to find someone that fits my description… and i will never turn down advise especially from people who seem to have a lot of knowledge about the topic.

      as for everyone else who has helped or complimented me, i appreciate it!

      and @monkey…i take insults too. thanks 😛

      • Sugar Baby says:

        Looks like I do remember the password to this! (sorry, did not realize I signed into a profile I made when I was just discovering SA)

  204. Sunshine2serenity says:

    So in the interests of showing possibilities with an SB profile. Here are a couple of things I’ve done – I’ve made a “test account”. I’ll post a link to it once it’s done. In the meantime –

    This is what I had a couple of months ago (playing up to my more romantic/sweet side). It’s short and sweet and leaves the SD with a sense of atmosphere. Atmosphere is what you’re trying to create with your profile. You need to paint with words who you are as a person. Yes we’re complex but you need to give your potential SD a vision of who you are. Stick to the truth but find a way of expressing it that makes it sound nice (e.g. I paint v. I love the feel of a brush on canvas)

    About Me
    I’m a happy, affectionate, compassionate, warm-hearted young woman. I want to make the world a better place.

    I enjoy kind and gentle company. I’m a little shy.

    I have a creative personality and like to express myself though art. I love the smell of Jasmine in spring.

    I enjoy reading romance novels and gazing at the night sky. I always wanted to be a vet and take care of animals but it is not possible for me at the moment so I’m currently studying history at university :).

  205. Sunshine2serenity says:

    Agree with LFdM and Josh. Indent gets too confusing and can’t see the latest comments easily.

  206. LFdM says:

    Yes, indent has to go. The blog is now too hard to follow.

  207. Josh says:

    The indent nonsense has to go.

  208. lovelynyours says:

    Curious. I just learned today that the average size of an American woman is size 14. I list my body type as average on this site, but I’m far smaller than that – I’m a size 8. I have a small waist compared to my hips, a C cup bust, and a decent bubble butt. Surely I haven’t been selling myself short all this time… size 8 feels average, no? When I think of “slim”, I think size 2. :/

    • lovelynyours says:

      A point to my comment might be helpful. My point/question is: What do you guys consider slim vs. average?

      • Jaybird923 says:

        I don’t really judge by the numerical size But more by what the person actually looks like some one who 5’9″ and wear an 8 will look average while someone who’s a 5’2 might look a few extra pounds/overweight.

      • lovelynyours says:

        Not sure I’m clear. Clothing sizes are based on inches and not pounds, so someone who’s 5’2″ and fits into a size 8 dress, which is, I don’t know, say 29 inches around in the waist, will look about the same thickness as someone who is 5’7″ and fits into the same 29-inch waist, size 8 dress. Shorter of course, but approximately the same size. Both women would be able to swap clothes and fit them relatively well (aside from the the length of the dress, of course). So they’ll either both be average, or they’ll both be slim – if they share the same inch measurements that allows them both to fit into the size 8 dress – wouldn’t they?

        My question is, where is the line drawn between slim and average? Maybe that’s not by dress size (though I’d always thought that was the universal indicator since its based on inches), but then, what is it? Perhaps it’s more subjective / arbitrary than I thought?

      • Jaybird923 says:

        You were very clear but my point is valid while both may wear the same size and have the same waist measurement the taller woman will carry the weight differently than the shorter woman. She has a longer torso and longer legs which will make her look leaner than the shorter woman who wears the same size.

    • zito says:

      I think youre on point with your idea of what average and slim are….but, I also think it has changed….personally I dont pay a whole bunch of mind to what a girl has posted as her size, I look at the pics and let what I see determine if she looks good

      • Jaybird923 says:

        @Lovely I think I did a bad job of explaining let me try again. When I saw your picture the first time I agreed with you assessment that you are average sized.

        But if I someone that was the same height and wore the same size as you but she had rolls, love handles, a muffin top, bulging out of her shirt I would consider her a few extra pounds even if she was a size 8 too.

        Like @zito said I don’t judge by the number but by how you look

      • lovelynyours says:

        Thanks, Jay – I’m clearer now. I’d pose that if she had a muffin top, bulges and all that, she’s wearing her clothes too tight and that’s she’s probably a 10 or 12. 😉 But I get what you’re saying.

    • Sunshine2serenity says:

      I’m a 12 Aus so a 10 US. Last I heard 12 was the average here so I went with average. However I have the typical hourglass shape and I haven’t had any complaints. I always think of slim as like a model, so really quite thin. Having made an SD profile from my area though there are plenty of beautiful women in the average category so I don’t think I’m missing out. Plus if an SD is really picky about that kind of thing I’m probably not going to be his kind of girl :o.

      Sooooo in Aus I’d say in general SMALL 10 and under would be slim, 10-12 average, maybe even 14 average if you carry it well, but generally 14 would be a few extra and 16+ full. All that said it really depends on where it’s at :).

  209. NightNova says:

    I keep getting what seems like Account Security. The first Woman I tracked cause no info and recent Join dates Means SPY…I tracked the Photo to a Anti scammer Business saying she had a Husband life and USED herself to find BAD Guys……Arrangements. I am THE WEB. Highest Security Knowledge. I track the Sensors..No more beating the Sugar baby ok I like it here if I ever actually grt any response from people seeking me 😉

  210. Jaybird923 says:

    @Hot Hopefully this doesn’t comeback to bite me on the ass, but I like your new gravatar. You look really nice in it.

  211. Anonymous says:

    Sincere question for the blog. What do you do with the SD who once was a SD but over time just randomly shows up and does not financially assist the SB in anyway. Never makes plans, just presumes that she will be elated to jump his bones on any whim BC she once was smitten by him. How does a SB politely explain to him that he is a manipulator and she knows it. Or if he truly does care for her as he claims, that he can put his money where his mouth is in actions and this includes the emotional stimulation and financial assistance. Or does she just ignore him in all future communication and change her phone #?

    • NC Gent says:

      Honesty is the best policy. Just tell him that you require financial and emotional support and you feel like you are being taken advantage of and manipulated. If you aren’t brave enough to do it face-to-face, send him a text. Only you can let yourself being taken advantage of. If he doesn’t listen, block him and hopefully you never need a restraining order.

      • Anonymous says:

        Restraining orders are not necessary. He chases too many skirts to be worried about getting under mine. I may have been smitten, but I was not blind in the process underneath, just refused to open my eyes to see through the folds until now.

    • Jaybird923 says:

      I agree with NC Gent. If you’re not happy about something you have to speak up.

    • lovelynyours says:

      Personally, I’d just stop communication. No need for accusations or drama. He believes that you’ll be around whenever he likes without any effort on his part, and that’s not the kind of guy who’s going to turn around and start being an SD to you when he’s already had you that way. No need to change your number yet unless he gets excessive with his calls. Typically he’ll get the hint after the first few tries and move on.

      If you like him enough to at least give him an opportunity to do better, I’d talk to him in person or by phone. Too much can get lost in translation when you’re texting, and this is a sensitive subject. Besides, text gives him an out to never respond to you, and you don’t want to risk feeling ignored, either.

      • Anonymous says:

        You just spoke volumes…see, it is sensitive to me via texting, yes. However, he ignores until he is drunk or God only knows why. Then, when he shows up and I try to address on more than one occasion I receive “I don’t have to put up with this”, “if I didn’t care, I still wouldn’t be coming around”, “I care about you, I love your sex” or better still I get the “you and your woman logic, you don’t understand” in person he is a minefield trying to talk and talking then shuts down my sexual drive also.. so, it is a kid version of sit and stare at each other the longest to see who blinks first. Too bad I allowed it to be this way for so long. I have always assumed if I ignored him, he might go away since he ignores the financial aspect of our relationship. I was taught however a man treats a woman is how he feels about himself and it shows through how he cares for her. Well gee, he must think he is homeless based on how he treats me.

      • lovelynyours says:

        “I care about you, I love your sex”?!? LOL. Seriously, ditch this one. He’s trying to tell you the things he thinks you want to hear in order to continue letting him have his way. Sounds like a loser, and nobody deserves having to put up with that. This doesn’t even sound like it warrants a conversation, except for you to say, “I’m no longer interested in you, but I wish you the best of luck and hope you find what you’re looking for.” Leave it at that, IMO.

      • Jaybird923 says:

        “or better still I get the “you and your woman logic, you don’t understand””

        Wait! His name isn’t Josh is it? lol

      • lovelynyours says:

        :D! *giggles*

      • Anonymous says:

        Update ****

        He chose the easy way out. He will never contact me again. Oh well, as Josh would say “next.”

      • Josh says:

        @Jay,

        I am disappointed. This woman is full of “woman logic” and I don’t believe in engaging women without allowance. Discretion is advised when randomly dragging my name into idiotic people’s affairs. :(

        I am sure that you are going to try “just kidding” or “can’t take a joke?”

        Please be careful. Thanks

      • Jaybird923 says:

        @Josh It was a joke and I was referring to the woman logic thing. That is a phrase you say all the time. Why would I even make a comparison between his behavior and yours? 1) you’ve never expressed such views 2) Besides the things you say on the blog I have no idea how you behave or live your life. Sorry you’re disappointed. I must admit I kinda am too. :(

      • lovelynyours says:

        Well, anonymous, now you know. Better to put your energy in looking elsewhere. And in the future, if you’re not getting what you’re seeking, be upfront about it straightaway and get to the bottom of the issue so that the two of you can get back on the same page or so you two can walk away and not waste each other’s time. Your SD will have no problem telling you what’s what if he feels there’s an issue – neither should you.

      • Sunshine2serenity says:

        @Anon
        I’m so glad to hear that he took the hint and that you’re free to have an arrangement with someone who is worth your time and effort :).

  212. lovelynyours says:

    So I finally made a decision on whether I was going to be okay with being in a non-exclusive arrangement. I’ve decided that it actually makes sense to at the moment; I don’t want to force exclusivity – it wouldn’t be very organic, now would it? Besides, the point is ultimately to make dating as simple as possible. Exclusivity can come with a different set of complexities that, when I think about it, I can probably do without at this time. I love that my SD was open about it, and I feel good knowing that I’ll never have to deal with jealousy or suspicion, on either end. It’s all out in the open.

    • Sunshine2serenity says:

      Glad to hear you found something that works for you.

      I find it interesting – both my SDs have said that they understand that I’ll be seeing other people and that they’re happy provided everything is safe. Then they ask me if I have other arrangements and I’m like OMG MINEFIELD. That said they seem to be more concerned with whether I have a boyfriend or not – so glad I stopped dating the relationship guy. I don’t have to try to find the correct way to phrase the situation as its not a problem. Or if they know I have another arrangement and they ask about them and I’m like I CAN’T TELL YOU ANYTHING!

      I have nightmares that I’ll be out at a restaurant and my two will meet. I’m sure they’d be perfectly civil but it would be very weird lol. I’m not used to non-exclusive guys so I still get the heeby jeebies about whether they’re going to get jealous or angry.

      • lovelynyours says:

        Haven’t decided if it works yet, but I’m certainly open to giving it a shot. I’d always envisioned and expected an exclusive arrangement off-the-bat, but now I’m thinking that was probably a bit naive.

        LOL – that’s what worries me, as well! But my current SD is a daytime, weekday guy, and the others who offered arrangements before I selected him were out of state or only available in the evenings or weekends. So if I circle back to them and take any of them up on their offers, I think I’d be okay.

        That just feels like so much time & energy to spend! I don’t mind him juggling, but I don’t know that I want to juggle. How have you felt about that, Sunshine? Any other SBs who’ve had multiple SDs have any thoughts? Is that standard? I’d always seen this as a one-on-one thing, so my eyes have really been opened lately.

      • hototrot1 says:

        @lovely
        “That just feels like so much time & energy to spend! I don’t mind him juggling, but I don’t know that I want to juggle. How have you felt about that, Sunshine? Any other SBs who’ve had multiple SDs have any thoughts? Is that standard? I’d always seen this as a one-on-one thing, so my eyes have really been opened lately.”

        I’m kinda sorta juggling at the moment. One isn’t definitive though. My older SD has hinted that he isn̵