2 years ago
Six Signs of a Salty Sugar Baby

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Being able to handle the hurdles that you may come across in the Sugar Bowl can help to make your experience that much sweeter. Sugar Babies aren’t the only ones that can run into salty situations when seeking their PerfectArrangement.  What’s a Sugar Daddy to do when his Sugar Baby is more salty than sweet?

Here’s what to look out for to avoid unnecessary sodium in your dating diet:

Sugar-Sucker

The Sugar Baby that is more concerned about her allowance than anything and is constantly demanding more, even more than the mutually settled agreement. While this Sugar Baby may have big goals, her reliance on sugar has ironically made her salty.

Bitter-Baby

This is the Sugar Baby with a bad attitude that no amount of allowance or attention can make sweet. There is no pleasing the Bitter Baby with her short answers, rude temper, and disrespectful nature. No amount of beauty makes up for her snippy disposition.

Gamer Girl

This Sugar Baby seems wonderful until she uncovers her need to play games with her Sugar Daddy. She has a bad habit of constantly cancelling on rendezvous last minute and conveniently going ghost, but quick to respond when the subject is allowance. She always has a trick up her sleeve, leaving her Sugar Daddy exhausted and annoyed.

Unsorted Saccharine

The uncertainty of these Sugar Babies  can come off as immaturity quickly. They lack the ability to hold a conversation, make decisions, and can usually be found staring down at their phone during dates. While this may be a product of being new to the Sugar Bowl, their naivety comes off salty-sweet.

Self-Doubting Sugar

Confidence is key. These Sugar Babies tend to project uncertainty, are constantly digging for compliments and searching for validation. When their needy nature isn’t fulfilled, the sentiment turns salty.

Sugar Shark

The worst kind of Salt Baby, she uses blackmail and extortion tactics to get what she wants. There’s nothing sweet about her and this personality should be avoided at all costs –unless you’re looking for your sodium levels to skyrocket!

What are some of your tactics for sorting out the salt from the sugar?

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753 Responses to “Six Signs of a Salty Sugar Baby”

  1. Shawn says:

    Should I keep adds up while I have the perfect thing going. I pulled in a super nice 18 year old latina with the perfect body just she’s a little messed up in the head. Her family is so strict on her she became a sugar baby mostly for the dick. I’m going to be the first man she has had in a year and we even agreed to bareback with me giving her a creampie. Only thing is she wants me to take down my adds. Should I do it?

    • Jaybird923 says:

      “she wants me to take down my adds. Should I do it?”

      That’s the part that concerns you? lol Not the fact that she’s a little messed up in the head. Nor the bareback/creampie thing with a complete stranger, whom you have no way of really knowing if she’s on birth control. I hope to God you have a vasectomy because this sounds like a way to get out from under her “strict family’s” roof with a guaranteed source of income.

      • Jaybird923 says:

        “Her family is so strict on her she became a sugar baby mostly for the dick.”

        Also when she told you this it made perfect sense to you? Her families so strict she can’t have sex through traditional means but they won’t be strict now that she’s getting cash to do it? Or is that being a sugar baby makes your activities invisible to people who share the same DNA?

    • lovelynyours says:

      Jay, don’t even try. This guy sounds completely gross, foolish, and clearly deserves to get taken. Better she remove him from the market than he interact with anyone else.

      Shawn, this girl you speak of is the stuff dreams are made of. I say go for it.

      • Jaybird923 says:

        LOL I agree with lovely Shawn you should definitely take your “ADDs” down like you said “you have the perfect thing going” Good luck!

    • Anonymous says:

      Heck no ! Keep your options open because she will most likely flake at any moment. In the meantime don’t let the haters hate . Hit that pussy for all she’s worth. Just don’t let her know who you are-keep the firewalls up .

  2. Misstery. says:

    ughhh, guilty self-doubter, minus the insecurity. I don’t need validation from anyyybody. just like baby deer legs, beginner’s nerves I guess. I hope! Because honestly money isn’t what I’m after; it’s the whooole experience.

  3. Zach 2015 says:

    I had so many terrible sugar baby I had to dump them from meeting them up to three times and most last less than 2 months. All my sugar babies are pros = full time prostitues and not like those part-time college prostitutes. . They kept making excuses and raising the budget thinking I will do that for them. So I ended up dumping all the whores that done this to me. I am no longer using any Brandon Wade’s online sites . They are a waste of money and time. I made a big mistake and my wife is the only women that I really want after experiencing how bad most women really are. They are fake, phony, superficial(shallow) and most are just average women that plastered their faces with tons of makeup and some had plastic surgery to compete with one another for prostitution business on these sites. Thank god my wife never found out about me cheating on her or else I live to regret using this site forever. ……………………………

  4. zito says:

    I have never met a salty sb….guess i vet well

  5. MahoganyRedd says:

    Personally I don’t know what’s going on with this site but I get hit on like 20x a day I don’t know what the guys on here are looking for maybe they want drug addicted floosies but Sooo far it’s been a total bummer

  6. Anonymous says:

    I was the first Chinese boy

  7. Alicia says:

    @gentleman soul Thanks for the advise!
    When I text my pot SD he responds right away, he told me he’s been thinking of me. Ur right time will tell. I don’t get the feeling he is married, because why would he tell me he has a 2 year old he has full custody of?
    He appeared shy, and sweet when we met. I don’t tell anyone about my SB life. Do any other SB have advise for keeping emotions out of it?
    This will be the tricky part for me.

  8. THEATLSD says:

    New blog people of the page.

  9. Promise says:

    New blog.

  10. THEATLSD says:

    @Jay. It was done well before I entered the Sugar bowl. It was a no brainer for me.

  11. Jaybird923 says:

    @ATL Smart man. If you already have kids I don’t understand the objection to doing that. Especially if you’re married why add unnecessary stress and complications to your life.

  12. THEATLSD says:

    @Jay. You ain’t kidding.
    I have my plumbing turn off. Whewwww!!!

  13. Jaybird923 says:

    @ATL LOL Not as bad as I’m pregnant. Consider yourself lucky.

  14. THEATLSD says:

    “I’m not on the pill”

  15. flyr says:

    Messages

    ” I would like to do that but I had a bad experience with my last SD””

  16. Promise says:

    @LASD I’m not crying. TT~TT

  17. THEATLSD says:

    @Downtown
    Did you ask for your money back 😉

  18. Jaybird923 says:

    @Downtown Look at it this way, she cared about you so much so was willing to sacrifice her own happiness to make sure you were happy.

  19. DowntownLASD says:

    @Promise — “What’s the worst message you’ve ever received?”

    That would be “I stayed in the arrangement far longer than I wanted to, for your benefit.” Stick the knife right into my gut and then pull upwards toward my heart, until all of my insides tumble out.

  20. Promise says:

    @SD’s What’s the worst message you’ve ever received?

  21. ARandomName says:

    here are the basics for you guys to follow.

    1.) she doesn’t meet you in the first two weeks, throw the salt away
    2.) she keep playing games or giving you shits tests, throw the salt away
    3.) she has no ambition and just want to be a live in hooker, throw the salt away.

    That covers everything in your long list of salt.

    Remember, at the end of the Day, we “Daddies/Mommies” are successful because we lack the moral brain washing that tells everyone “Its wrong to do whats profitable even its its fair, moral, and legal!”

    This naturally isolates us as it’s hard to find people who think like us and will be an aid, not an anchor to bring into our life.

    Moral Brain Wash Test
    I invest $3000 a year and make $250,000. I want to build a dynasty, have 2 or 3 women living with me making money the same way I do, working 4 days a month, just like me, so we pull hundreds of millions in wealth and power to us like a sponge.
    have kids and have them repeat it…

    Is your moral brainwashing kicking in? 😀

  22. Jj says:

    @Dabomb…. nope, my “wif” didn’t leave me because I lost all the money; HOWEVER, she did “leave” me after extracting 2/3 in a divorce!!! Money talks in many languages, especially “women speak”

  23. THEATLSD says:

    Should have said. “How many signals/messages do I have to give you”

  24. THEATLSD says:

    @Charolette
    Being that you are Eastern European just want to make sure you are taking showers and keeping your self “Irish Spring” clean??

    JUST KIDDING 😉

    That dude has something going on not sure what it is. Make the best of it and keep chatting with us normal people of the blog!!

  25. THEATLSD says:

    @ONSD
    GLad you figured out the “carbon freezing” thing if you didn’t know Goddesess profile it would not have made sense.

    As far as payment. I missed the part Jay was getting a cut. In that case we would have to work something out.

    As for Pot pot I saw her yesterday and today. It went well. I did something today to see her reaction it went better then anticipated.
    Sometimes I feel she is screaming. “How signals/messages do I have to give you. Then the if I’m wrong “I be a fool and kicked in the head”. Next move is to get her email. (My new nickname for her will be “Spunky” for the blog)

  26. MissLady says:

    @reb, that’s interesting wonder what their reasons would be, if it’s other than the obvious…

  27. MissLady says:

    Yes I was referring to the SD side this time

  28. Reb says:

    So I guess SA is scraping PA? I got a pop up on SA asking if I would be interested in a matchmaking service for Seeking Arrangements directly.

  29. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @flyR – I’ve been on conference calls and webinars today…oh, and a Social Media frenzy because of some recent national news! Nothing better than multi-tasking!

  30. gentleman soul says:

    @ Jay
    @Gentleman If he’s any good at it. I don’t think things could get any better than that. lol

    My kind of girl ! I thought about that as soon as I sent it LOL . It could be mighty good indeed (;

  31. Jaybird923 says:

    @Online I would love that. Having friends in different place always gives you an excuse to visit. You’re not far from Chicago. And I haven’t been there in two years. I always liked the jazz festival maybe I can plan something around that.

  32. flyr says:

    so many comments Am I the only one working

  33. flyr says:

    Charlotte –

    He might have severe performance anxieties or have put you on too high a pedestal.

    My recommendation is coaching rather than confrontation if you like him.

    I could also offer my services as a “stand in” in his place ………..

  34. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    But @Miss – if they eliminated “drama” whatever would they have to say they work to avoid?

    Oh, are you talking SD profiles eliminating the word drama? There’s an interesting dilemma…

  35. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Jay – very nice…the one that flies 😉

    also, very insightful about “doing it right”…damn…you’re a lot of fun on blog! If you make it to the Midwest, we’ve GOT to grab a drink!

  36. MissLady says:

    Oh, add the word drama to your tip sheet! Perusing the bowl and that word is everywhere.

  37. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @ATL – good luck, if you haven’t seen IRL-Pot…I’m sending good karma your way!

  38. Jaybird923 says:

    “At least he is not pounding you 4 hours/day only letting you up for air to get him a fresh pack of condoms . It could always be worse. ”

    @Gentleman If he’s any good at it. I don’t think things could get any better than that. lol

  39. MissLady says:

    Speaking of dinosaurs, good movie, liked the throwbacks to the original

  40. Jaybird923 says:

    @ATL Yes I figured it out. How’s the conquest going? Moving in the right direction?

  41. gentleman soul says:

    @Charlotte
    He had said he wouldn’t want to “push” me for anything I am not ready especially

    Yeah ,there is something seriously off with him . This is a hazard with travelling with a new partner under any circumstance -civilian ,sugar ,whatever . You are stuck in a strange land and no quick way out . @ Jay gives good advice. Make the best of it . At least he is not pounding you 4 hours/day only letting you up for air to get him a fresh pack of condoms . It could always be worse .

  42. Jaybird923 says:

    @Online It’s not? I thought that was the one that flies.

  43. THEATLSD says:

    @Charolette. That statement that starts with @Jay about the BJ was for you. Not Jaybird. I was in a hurry. Was going to see the IRL POT my mind was else where. I think Y’all figured that out.

  44. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    Profile tip – if you use the word “love” in your profile more than a couple of times, you may need to find a thesaurus! No, that’s not a dinosaur…

  45. CucumberOnLids says:

    Let’s consider it from the SD perspective…

    He may be thinking he can get all this FYT pussy from the blogs he reads on the PUA sites (or those referenced previously by others)…he gets on SA and sees nothing but platonic 10k monthly propositions…wouldn’t be nice…or he hears about all the FYTs on here that don’t even need an allowance, they just want presents and nice dinners and someone to show himself as a gentleman…wouldn’t be realistic either…so…he starts out paying someone he is attracted to an “advance” and she bolts…he tells the next one that he won’t pay an allowance until there’s intimacy, she gets naked, takes a month’s allowance and bolts…he tells the next one that he won’t pay more than a week at a time to start, she gets naked as agreed for a month and then asks to be switched to monthly, gets naked with the first monthly allowance and bolts…he tells the next one that he won’t do anything more than a week at a time, she gets naked each week as agreed but by the second week he can tell she is trying to get him off and get him out the door (of the hotel he’s paid for) as quick as possible, so HE bolts to find someone who might show some attraction to him (or be a decent actor)…do you see how it might go for a SD on here?

    BTW – this can describe my experience on SA…so it’s a TRUE experience…

    ———————————————————————————–

    Wow that’s horrible. I wasn’t bolting from my Daddy I actually wanted to spend more time with him. The only real thorn in my side from that happening was his trainer.

    I’m starting to wonder why what are you offering that based on the time you desire they bolt like that? What are you offering as far as allowance is concerned.

  46. Charlotte says:

    @Jay

    I am sure many non intimacy fans would rush into bed if they were really attracted to their pots and valued their partners more than a cash machine.

    Traveling shopping, Starbucks-ing every time you are thirsty and talking non stop about interesting subjects with an attractive man is great, just add some intimacy after exotic food and maybe after breakfast now it is extraordinary.

  47. Jaybird923 says:

    @Charlotte La vie est si drôle. There are so many women who want a man who doesn’t want intimacy and can’t find one. And you find one and want intimacy. If it’s not going to work just enjoy the trip try to have a great time. And start your search over when you get home.

  48. Charlotte says:

    @gentleman

    He had said he wouldn’t want to “push” me for anything I am not ready especially when I am so far away from home.
    But I don’t know it is strange.
    I really appreciate it but if I accept such an invitation, I am normally ready to intimacy it would be a 10\10 trip, if we enjoyed a bit more less privacy in our privacy.

    I hope I misunderstand his stress for disinterest.

  49. Charlotte says:

    I was flirting and he literally said I was behaving like myself. But also said it was fine but it was a bit cold, you sense when there is something wrong.

  50. gentleman soul says:

    @Charlotte
    The most intimate thing happens is good-bye hugging and only for once a kiss on the cheek which was very small and short.

    Ah Charlotte, that is so distressing . He must be asexual,impotent,or gay. Even died in the wool gay guys I know will service an attractive lady from time to time.
    Before spending time with a Sugar -especially on a trip -I would require a test visit to the bedroom to ensure compatibility . Assuming you are sexual and actually want to have a physical relationship with your SD you should do the same .

  51. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Jay – that’s what surprised me about the comment with Student…it was a comment that SHOULD have been picked up through pop culture references…but…she did tell me she lived a sheltered life for the most part…

    I remember waiting in line through multiple showings just to get tickets when it was re-released (since there wasn’t online purchase available back then)…I also remember deciding NOT to support the prequels because of the cg and greenscreen…SO much better with models and puppets than with cg!

    I’m cautiously optimistic about the new one this year, because of what I’ve seen online…but…not excited yet…

  52. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Charlotte – If you feel there will be no next time, you have nothing to lose “confronting” the issue with him…make sure he KNOWS you are interested in intimacy…I hadn’t thought of @ATL’s scenario, but that’s a possibility…he could be using you to “cover” for his true orientation, or to make his true sexual “target” jealous?

    Remember, if you don’t communicate you’ll never know…at least let him know you miss him when he leaves…like @Jay said, a simple, “I wish I could wake up next to you and order breakfast in bed” would imply your intent…something more like, “I so wanted you to follow me into my room have your way with me” would be a bit more to the point…adding “in fact, I was thinking that while taking care of myself” would probably be too much 😉

  53. Jaybird923 says:

    @Online It was so good of you to look beyond her shortcomings :)I saw Star Wars when I was maybe 8 years old and never watched it again. So I’m no fanatic. It’s parodied or made mention of so often that I’ve picked up on a lot of the characters and plot from other places.

  54. Charlotte says:

    @ONSD
    I don’t honestly think there will be next time.

    It isn’t even for intimacy, how could I be so unlucky to attract all the bad luck of the world in a single day.

    And I really like him, like I miss him when he leavese to sleep

  55. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Jay – welcome to the conversation 😉

    At least you weren’t like “what’s carbon freezing?”

    I made a reference to the movies with Student recently and she just looked at me with a blank face and said, “what?” About broke my heart she had NO CLUE about Star Wars…but…I guess no one is PERFECT?

  56. Jaybird923 says:

    @ATL and Online You guys are such Star Wars Nerds. I was distracted and just caught on to the carbon freezing reference. :)

  57. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @ATL – I forgot…@Goddess is looking for someone on the opposite side of the restraints as I’m willing to be…it MIGHT take carbon freezing 😉

    I respect the game Goddess…I’m just not the subject 😉

  58. Jaybird923 says:

    @Online I think that might be a little more palatable for most women

  59. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Jay – re: pic – yeah, as I hit “Submit” I thought about that…admitting you’re NOT the hot friend is a bit much for any woman, isn’t it?

    And I know…beauty is in the eye of the beholder…

    It’s just not a good idea to show off someone DIFFERENT than you, which might draw attention AWAY from YOU on your profile…is that a better way to put it?

  60. Jaybird923 says:

    @Online Checkmate. lol No I’m in NYC

  61. Jaybird923 says:

    “Here’s a tip…if you have a hotter friend, don’t wrap your arm around her and post THAT pic on your profile – just don’t”

    @Online in order to follow that advice they would first have to admit that they are not the hot friend.. I foresee many more of those types of pictures

  62. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Jay – I’m going to take your “larger than life” comment in the best possible way…you’re no where near the Midwest, are you?

  63. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    Okay, on to coaching SB profiles…

    Just encountered another profile with the montage pics (meaning more than one pic in a single image) – don’t – just don’t

    Here’s a tip…if you have a hotter friend, don’t wrap your arm around her and post THAT pic on your profile – just don’t

    Oh, and if you’re trying to show off your midriff, don’t put your arms straight up and take a deep breath in…it’s obvious you’re trying to minimize your girth and a SD will think you’re MUCH bigger than the full-length pic you’ve got posted!

  64. Jaybird923 says:

    @Goddess and Online thank you for the compliments. :)

  65. Jaybird923 says:

    @Online LMAO Not at all.. Ever since I first starting speaking to you I could tell you were larger than life and it would take someone special to handle you

  66. Goddess says:

    ONSD *purrs* and *sticks tongue out @ TheATLSD*. Even though the carbon freeze idea is one worth jotting down, haha.

  67. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @ATL – I was only referencing the fee because @Jay wanted to make a cut of profit…if there’s no fee, there’s no profit…

    Also, who’s to say I would need carbon freeze for @Goddess? I’m not one that needs the assistance of anything at this point in my life 😉

  68. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Goddess – as I said…I’m up for coffee/meal and conversation, just don’t want to make it anything more than that…don’t need arrangement drama on blog…and if you think SBs are used to keeping things quiet, I think you should qualify it with “quality” SBs are used to keeping things quiet…I would agree that @Jay has every appearance of a quality SB. I just have my rules 😉

  69. THEATLSD says:

    @ONSD
    Goddess can put you in a carbon freeze then have her way with you.

  70. THEATLSD says:

    @ONSD AND Jay
    ” for consulting…@ATL and I would have to get creative with methods of payment!”

    Well, I really don’t need money. So there is only one way to go on that one. Plus the benefits of a well rounded educated in the art of sugar is worth it’s weight in gold.

  71. THEATLSD says:

    @Jay
    Wow that’s and interest situation you are in.
    I can’t believe he hadn’t at least asked for a BJ.
    You know ONSD and JAY made good points but I’m thinking he is gay and using you as arm candy to hide it.
    That’s my theory and I’m sticking to it.

  72. Goddess says:

    ONSD oh gosh, a stickler for rules. *pouts* I think it’s more trumped up in your mind than it will be. SBs are used to keeping mum about things and JayBird seems to be one of those “stand by your man” types. (compliment)
    I don’t think she’ll be telling the daily news about your chat over coffee, LOL. My personal depth perception thus far.
    I heard from my yacht guy today, he’s in Spain. I begrudgingly told him to go enjoy one of the Spaniard women and his response is “Nooooo”. Kind of cute he is spending his day off messaging me but still, I wanna be sun bathing on a beach in Barcelona rather than focusing on work blah.

  73. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Jay – damn…have you been talking to someone in my past? I’ve heard I was too much to take more than a couple times in the past to! 😉

    You’re making today a very special day for me!

  74. Jaybird923 says:

    @Online lol Well done sir. Maybe they’re afraid that they can’t handle that much satisfaction. You might be to much for them to take

  75. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Goddess – I’m always open to off-blog communication, even meeting for coffee/lunch/drinks when/if we’re close enough for it…but…I’ve got a strict non-arrangement policy with bloggies…could get WAY TOO COMPLICATED if things so sour for whatever reason!

  76. Goddess says:

    Is it me or is it getting hot in here? 😉 I think such playful back and forth would at the very least beget maybe a friendship of sorts or maybe a chat over coffee, and the matchmaker service isn’t a bad idea. I’d say you’re halfway there as far as marketing goes. 😉

  77. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Jay – you know…now that I think about it…that’s a line I hear often…which always makes me wonder why it is so difficult to connect for an arrangement!

  78. Jaybird923 says:

    @Online Lol God love talking to clever people. I threw that in there to see if you would make the connection between that and the special training … You never disappoint :)

  79. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Jay – don’t work OUT the kinks, that could help with the “special” training course 😉

  80. Jaybird923 says:

    @Online lol I’m imagining your gravatar dressed like that. I know it’s not you but That’s how I’ve been picturing you when ever I interact with you. Oh Well I tried. I’ll see if I can work out the kinks and come up with something better :)

  81. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Jay – hahahaha…see…the percentage of the allowance payments just feels to pimp-ish to me…although, I think I’d look good in an oversized hat with a peacock feather, leaning against my cane holding a bedazzled goblet 😉

    The “special” training course sounds like the best route, but probably downgrades the SB to the future SD pool?

    Oh well…it was a good thought 😉

  82. Jaybird923 says:

    @Online I see your point. lol So we need a new business model. Maybe a consulting/matchmaking service. If someone came to you had potential but couldn’t pay we could Train them and find them a perfect match. Charge the SD a fee and take a percentage of her first 2 allowance payments. Or she could waive the fee if she took our “special” Training course “How to Please your daddy.” where you guys could let her practice on you to make sure she was understanding the material being taught. lol What do you think?

  83. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Jay – Thanks for bringing up the consulting business again 😉

    I’m sure IF there were profits we’d gladly share them with someone to process paperwork, so we could focus attention on those serving us…oops…I mean those we serve 😉

    I only say “IF” there were profits because I’m sure many seeking the help would not have the financial resources to PAY for consulting…@ATL and I would have to get creative with methods of payment!

  84. Jaybird923 says:

    @Online lol You beat me to it I didn’t see your message when I started typing or I wouldn’t have bothered great advice as always :)

  85. Jaybird923 says:

    @Charlotte that doesn’t mean he doesn’t like you. He might just be giving you time to get comfortable being with him. Or waiting for a sign from you that you are ready to move things to the next level. Nothing says he has to be the one to make the first move.

    If he asks you what you want to do tomorrow tell him you want to wake up next to him and have breakfast in bed. Or just talk to him about it. Making assumptions will almost always lead to trouble.

  86. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Charlotte – glad to hear you’ve survived overseas! I hope you at least felt better prepared after our conversation…

    As far as companionship and intimacy…you MIGHT have landed the unicorn (SD who just wants “company”)…but…I think @Goddess has a point…how flirty have you been with him? How much have you expressed your desire to BE with him? Ramp up the flirtations next time you’re together (if you are together again…and if not…at least make it known in your messages after this last trip so he KNOWS you’re game for more, which might GET YOU the next meet)…if he says, “not interested” you’ve got closure…if he says, “I was waiting to see your level of interest to make a move” he might just be one of those guys who wants to KNOW he has access, wants to know you’re interested before moving forward – it’s YOU showing desire he’s after…if he says anything else, at least you’ve started the conversation!

  87. Goddess says:

    @FlyR I agree. It depends on the woman’s station in life when she meets her benefactor. Charlotte my first SD and I never consummated our relationship. I used to enjoy teasing him so that was mostly me but he didn’t protest either. I think some men just enjoy female companionship. My questionnaire fellow I had to bid a polite adieu but will be having dinner with yet another slightly younger SD. I like our back and forth thus far. He took one of my tongue in cheek comments well and said “It seems you have been in the world longer than me”, haha. (Yes dear, figuratively and literally).

  88. Charlotte says:

    @ATL
    If I could speak English as well as you I would not bother with others.

    By the way;
    On our second with my SD, on holidays in an Asian country, for a week almost, nothing happens?

    We stay in different rooms, spend day together but it is more like a little bit of shopping, trying food here and there !maybe!! holding hands.

    The most intimate thing happens is good-bye hugging and only for once a kiss on the cheek which was very small and short.

    After reading how bloggers go on second meetings.

    I think mine doesn’t like me. Or I am doing something wrong. And it is annoying because I want to at least sleep in the same place with him.

  89. Goddess says:

    Oops, bondage*. My dyslexia always gives away my disposition. 😛

  90. Goddess says:

    I have been having an exchange with a very handsome fellow who unfortunately has zero game in his approach. Not sure how to handle this except with biting sarcasm. I’m being polite thus far though, after he asked me about chastity and then about bundage I had to ask, “are you conducting a survey monsieur?” :)

  91. THEATLSD says:

    @Charolette
    I speak all versions of American including Canadian.
    Spanglish and about 10 words in French.
    I can say “Hello” in about 10 languages.

  92. Jaybird923 says:

    @FlyR I think everyone is misinterpreting my statement. I’m not saying any women who’s willing to go bareback is planning something nefarious. I’m talking about the one who try to talk you out of using a condom when you are prepared to do so because she’s on the pill. I would doubt her motives.

  93. Jaybird923 says:

    @Remmy I noticed that too. Well you’re not siding with the Average Joe according to the article porn stars are the one who use them most. So you can continue to feel superior :)

  94. Jaybird923 says:

    @ATL Luscious? Is that my new pet name? If it is, I like it a lot better than Birdy lol

  95. rembodler says:

    @Jay.
    Crowns are on top – funny. I hate to side with Joe Average on anything but…I guess I am on this. Where I live, I can only get Crowns thru the website – undercover condoms or some such.
    Trojans Bareskins are Ok if you are heading to see her and have to stop at Walgreens.

  96. flyr says:

    @ Jay “”””June 15, 2015 at 11:56 am
    “when we get naked, it’s usually HER trying to get my dick inside her without a thought to protection, and a casual reminder that she’s on birth control…”

    @Online lol You should be scared but so many men aren’t. That behavior has get rich quick scheme written all over it.””””

    I think it depends on where you are recruiting. Lost 18 yo yes , Intelligent women finishing undergrad and looking towards grad school , in grad school or starting careers minimal risk.

  97. Charlotte says:

    @ATL
    I can have a conversation in 4, but working on adding one another to my list.
    And you daddy?

  98. THEATLSD says:

    @Temptation
    That’s good that he liked. I did say to change it not delete it just move it to the other pics.

    I can’t get in the brain of every SD. I was wrong one other time in my life. Hope it’s not a trend.

    @Jay thanks luscious. You may have spoke to soon.

  99. THEATLSD says:

    @temptation
    Ask if he has had a SB previously.
    General signs that he seems cheap.
    It may take a second message or meet to figure it out. Like that SB that posted earlier in blog.

    Maybe some of the other SB can give some ideas.

  100. Jaybird923 says:

    Top five recommended condoms for sensitivity and endurance
    [http://www.shape.com/lifestyle/sex-and-love/have-better-sex-one-these-5-condoms]

  101. Jaybird923 says:

    @ATL You and @Online need to start a SB consulting business. You guys would make a killing. I’d manage it and do all the paperwork if I got a small percentage of the profits.

  102. Jaybird923 says:

    @Remmy lol Got it. That’s what I figured. But those trojan commercials made me wonder.. another case of false advertising huh

  103. Ms. Temptation says:

    @ATL
    By the way he loved my profile pic and said given my age he was most impressed. And you wsnted me yo change it! Lol not a chance.

  104. Promise says:

    Hope y’all had a great weekend.

  105. Ms. Temptation says:

    @ATL
    any particular questions or ways to figure out if he is splena?

  106. THEATLSD says:

    @Sharoooolette
    How many languages do you speak?

  107. THEATLSD says:

    @Jay
    The mint flavored ones are the best. 😉

  108. THEATLSD says:

    @Temptation
    Coffee meets are KISS type meets. It’s to make sure you are both who you say they are and that he someone that you would want to be with. Now it seems you have to feel him out to make sure he is not a Splenda daddy.

  109. rembodler says:

    @Jay
    A condom is a condom is a condom…
    Out of a bunch I tried I think Crowns are the better ones.

  110. Jaybird923 says:

    Of course they suck lol You’re desensitized to all the things that make sex great. But they are a necessary evil.

    What about those condoms that claim to increase sensation for men, do they actually feel better or is it more of the same?

  111. Charlotte says:

    Hate phone…

    And it only takes your partner to have a session with a STDs carrier you get try these.

    Trust and “spidery senses” are much more important.

  112. Charlotte says:

    Oh they do feel horrible on women as well.

    And unfortunately they don’t protect against rash kind of STDs like herpes.

    It could only ta

  113. gtt_envy says:

    Guys hate condoms because because condoms feel horrible.

    Next you masturbate or have a guy go down on you make sure to put a good layer of plastic wrap over your vagina and see how it feels.

    I always just std tested and paid for it coupled with trust.

    If I used a condom I’d have to make a bet like if you can’t make me cum in under 30 min no allowance (I’m joking)

    They really do suck that bad

  114. Ms. Temptation says:

    I might need some coaching for the coffee session though.lol

  115. Charlotte says:

    I think it was the second time I had sex and protected without latex , as both my boyfriend back then and I had an comprehensive check up.
    I was telling him it was better without latex jokingly then he turned very serious and told me never tell this to any man I would meet in the future.

  116. Ms. Temptation says:

    @online
    thanks for your emails and analysis
    I feel somewhat more hopeful.
    I had a good conversation with a pot SD last evening via site messaging although brief, I had a good feeling about him. Hoping to hear more from him in coming days. I would definitely meet him for coffee and go from there.

  117. DowntownLASD says:

    I’ve had my share of bareback sex with SBs, and I’ve been VERY lucky indeed not to get anyone pregnant or catch an STD. I’m playing with fire, being married. Part of the thrill, I guess. I keep saying, “let’s get tested together,” but that still doesn’t do anything to ameliorate the risk.

  118. rembodler says:

    @Reb
    Well…maybe you just look that trustworthy!
    :-)).
    I am pretty sure an ambitious intelligent sophomore will be as vigilant about not getting herself pregnant as her older wiser SD…
    As for “the first time we had sex”… again, maybe they did not know you, but you do, right? You know had you agreed nothing terrible would happen. On your side, while reservations are well-justified…suspecting every single person you meet having an STD…
    Say, you know for sure he has an STD. Will you do it, condom or not? So a lot of it is in your mind…

  119. Reb says:

    You have no idea how many sugar daddies have asked if we can stop using condoms… the first time we have sex. I could have easily trapped them with a baby while I sit in my million dollar apartment with a baby, but I’d rather not risk catching something, so the condom always stays.

    Every. single. SD.

  120. Jaybird923 says:

    @Remmy An apology isn’t necessary. I’ll gladly explain. The “don’t worry I’m on birth control” is a common ruse used my women in the heat of the moment to get a man not to use a condom so they can get pregnant. The most popular reason are to trap them in a marriage/relationship or for Blackmail/child support payments.

    If You google she lied about birth control you’ll see how many people have had this happen to them

  121. rembodler says:

    @Jay
    And sorry Jay if I misinterpreted your statement. However, even after revisiting what you said, I am unsure how it was intended to be understood.

  122. Jaybird923 says:

    “it’s a matter of finding your match on the risk profile, the intimate match, the intellectual match, the emotional match and the financial match…when all those are running in tandem, you have an ECSTATIC arrangement!”

    @Online Well Said I couldn’t agree more

  123. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @rem – you’re right…it’s about risk management…married SDs are not in the sugar bowl without risk already…I also agree that it’s stupif for people to think the layer of latex is full protection (you’d need the biohazard suit others discuss for that)…so…from an educational standpoint, it’s good to have the discussion about protection, risk, “meal tickets” and douchebags (who demand without protection and don’t ask for or demand testing)…there are all kinds in the sugar bowl…it’s a matter of finding your match on the risk profile, the intimate match, the intellectual match, the emotional match and the financial match…when all those are running in tandem, you have an ECSTATIC arrangement! I’ve had periods of time where I was there…three times in fact…but it’s difficult to get properly aligned!

  124. rembodler says:

    @ONSD
    I am actually all for minimizing the risk…do not get me wrong, I plan to enjoy the show while I find it enjoyable. I think that I am a lot more careful with this than many who think that the rubber barrier makes them invincible. I declined more offers than I accepted, simply because I thought I do not know that person enough and would rather pass.
    Having said that, the only sure way to never contact an STD is abstinence. Even that is not really true, as many people who got blood transfusions back in the late seventies are no longer here to corroborate…

  125. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @rem – agreed…and we’ve had discussed the ways SBs on blog like to keep things from getting that far, pulling out, rhythm, anal, facials, oral finishing…but…there ARE those who might see a SD as a “meal ticket” if she can get him to knock her up, the first step to that end would be getting his penis inside her without a condom…the second step would be convincing him that cumming inside her is without risk (saying she’s on birth control)…the third step would actually be getting knocked up…

    But we started with the STD conversation, which negates even unprotected oral…which isn’t very much fun at all…so…what level of risk are you willing to accept in the sugar bowl…and how do you decide to take added risks?

    I’m guessing most SBs would be open to oral (giving and receiving) quicker than they would be intercourse (especially unprotected intercourse)…some of which might not even recognize the STD risk to being oral (or for that matter kissing someone who isn’t showing symptoms at the time)…

  126. Jaybird923 says:

    @ATL Well now I’m happier than I was before I’ve been of use to two people :)

  127. Jaybird923 says:

    Thank You Dr.Remmy I’m well aware of that. That’s not the point of that statement. If you didn’t realize that I’m going to have to re-evaluate my opinion about your level of intelligence.

  128. rembodler says:

    Jay said
    “@Online lol You should be scared but so many men aren’t. That behavior has get rich quick scheme written all over it.”
    Sticking a penis inside a vagina does not make her pregnant. If you are so concerned about her getting pregnant, make sure you do your part. Medical research suggests it is as effective as condom use in preventing pregnancy (not STD protection, of course).

  129. THEATLSD says:

    @Jaybird923
    “@YGTBK You’re welcome. I’m glad someone found them useful :)”

    I found “them” useful also. 😉

  130. DowntownLASD says:

    @Finesse, you wrote “I don’t want to waste the SB’s time, and more importantly, I don’t want to waste my time. Why in the world would I want to meet a SB if her needs are beyond what I can afford?”

    Of course, I agree. Nothing is more valuable than time when it comes to Sugar. However, I’ve found over the years that each participant finds him or herself more open to negotiate over coffee or a drink. I’ve been far more successful at securing a relationship with women who might otherwise not have considered me because I’ve managed to show them how my allowance offers work to their advantage. Also, because I happen to be consistent and reliable, SBs can depend on me over a longer period of time than those who flash a lot of money up front then disappear when they quickly get bored.

    I’ve also sent my allowance offer to a potential SB over the email system, and have had some success there as well, but less consistently.

    @peeps, I’ll bet there are a lot of men out there who would choose dishonesty. Fakers are everywhere, in both genders. I know I’m a man of integrity and I’m transparent, but I have my preferences. If a woman refuses to meet for coffee or a drink or refuses a free meal because I won’t discuss allowances before a first meeting, then there are, as the saying goes, “plenty of fish in the sea.”

  131. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Jay – no…nothing good ever follows those words…and it’s amazing how often they are still used by people…

  132. Jaybird923 says:

    @Online LoL nothing good ever follows those words

  133. DaBomb says:

    @Joey

    “You have a romantic view of marriage. I doubt it will survive your true experience of it.”

    Not married. Not planning to get married for a while either. How you figure I have a romantic view of marriage is something I would like to know.

    If you think replacing a gold digging wife with a gold digging SB is a good approach to a good relationship then have fun.

  134. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Jay – also, I’m not saying I participated in it at that point either…because you’re right…I can smell a trap, especially when it’s a “don’t worry” anything that is spoken…I take that like, “I’m not racist/agist/sexist/etc, but”

  135. MissLady says:

    I’m inclined to agree with Jay, heard it from guys too many times

  136. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Jay – maybe I’m still too trusting…either way, it’s still not always the SD pushing for it…at least that was the point I was trying to make…

  137. Jaybird923 says:

    @Online I’ll defer to your perception of that situation since you are the one who lived it. But I smell a trap no matter what age when a women starts with the “don’t worry I’m on birth control”.

  138. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Jay – I’m not sure it’s get rich quick…I think it’s the casual nature of sex in the younger generation…when you grow up hearing oral is not “sex” from the president, it’s tough to talk about being “protected”…

  139. Joey says:

    @DaBomb

    “Not married.

    Would you wife leave you if you lost all your money? You have low standards for a relationship.”

    Well, they all promise to be with us forever in sickness and in health, in good times and bad, but actually, if you check the stats, an awful lot of marriages end in divorce and one of the most common reasons is money problems.

    You have a romantic view of marriage. I doubt it will survive your true experience of it.

  140. Jaybird923 says:

    “when we get naked, it’s usually HER trying to get my dick inside her without a thought to protection, and a casual reminder that she’s on birth control…”

    @Online lol You should be scared but so many men aren’t. That behavior has get rich quick scheme written all over it.

  141. Jaybird923 says:

    @FriendlySpirit Thank you :-) I’ll most definitely check you out when I next log in to my account.

  142. MissLady says:

    Lol total sarcasm Onsd, I agree with what you said. I had no expectations when I entered the bowl other than I would take my time, probably meet some interesting people along the way as I bypassed the less desirable. I didn’t feel I was at any more of a disadvantage than anyone else….until I started reading the blogs lol. If I hadn’t started my first arrangement after two weeks on the site, the blogs comments at that time would not have been encouraging

  143. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    RE: unprotected sex – for every story about the SD pushing unprotected sex, I will say…I have NEVER pushed for unprotected sex…I have asked if she was on birth control (an added level of protection against pregnancy is a good thing), which has been construed as “you want no condoms don’t you?”…again, I tell them, not a thought across my mind…however…when we get naked, it’s usually HER trying to get my dick inside her without a thought to protection, and a casual reminder that she’s on birth control…THAT’s what scares me about the sugar bowl…the thoughts that oral sex is without risk, and birth control is sufficient protection for intercourse…

  144. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    Let’s consider it from the SD perspective…

    He may be thinking he can get all this FYT pussy from the blogs he reads on the PUA sites (or those referenced previously by others)…he gets on SA and sees nothing but platonic 10k monthly propositions…wouldn’t be nice…or he hears about all the FYTs on here that don’t even need an allowance, they just want presents and nice dinners and someone to show himself as a gentleman…wouldn’t be realistic either…so…he starts out paying someone he is attracted to an “advance” and she bolts…he tells the next one that he won’t pay an allowance until there’s intimacy, she gets naked, takes a month’s allowance and bolts…he tells the next one that he won’t pay more than a week at a time to start, she gets naked as agreed for a month and then asks to be switched to monthly, gets naked with the first monthly allowance and bolts…he tells the next one that he won’t do anything more than a week at a time, she gets naked each week as agreed but by the second week he can tell she is trying to get him off and get him out the door (of the hotel he’s paid for) as quick as possible, so HE bolts to find someone who might show some attraction to him (or be a decent actor)…do you see how it might go for a SD on here?

    BTW – this can describe my experience on SA…so it’s a TRUE experience…

  145. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Miss – you completely missed the point (unless you’re beings sarcastic, because I don’t think my eyes would have been able to catch your eye roll or smile 😉 )…if you HAVE experience to bring to the sugar bowl, you aren’t starting at the low end…and there’s nothing to say you can’t GET the fairy tale…it’s just a matter of initial expectations!

  146. MissLady says:

    what, and here I was going to jump back in the bowl and try for the fairy tale!!

  147. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Julia – I agree with @gentleman – if you start with your full length as your profile shot, your glasses shot is a great backup, but you’re not really putting forward your “best” with the glasses shot as your profile shot…

    However, I disagree with him that you’re “full figured”…you’re just the right amount of IRL curvy to me (which is different than internet curvy – which means you’ve got more rolls than a bakery)…

  148. Josh says:

    Apples,

    I am here for entertainment and not connection per se. So if an SB is entertaining I don’t even need sex from her. 😉

  149. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @gentleman – It would be wonderful to have that type of arrangement…meeting someone locally that has the resources to cash advance the room is difficult, unfortunately!

    I did have a mutual affair where we alternated coordinating the room, it became a contest to see who could “plan” better than the other…now that was fun!

    Also, had a SB who liked to surprise me with outfits and such, she’d pay cash or charge the outfits/toys/etc and leave the receipt out when we were together so I could nonchalantly make sure there was enough allowance to cover what she “needed” and what she was doing to take care of me…

    It’s a balancing act…the SB who understands it’s about taking care of her SD will benefit in the financial end to a greater extent than the SB who focuses on the financial end of things…

  150. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @YGBKM – Agreed…I think…I hope you don’t think I’m trying to set SBs up for “slim pickings” with my contributions?!

    I think there should be some “reality” brought into the education at the beginning of SA…there’s nothing wrong with the hopes of the “10k monthly platonic” or “I’d date him without the money” or whatever else…but…starting at that is VERY DIFFICULT.

    Sugar is more like building a career. You start off making minimum wage (which would represent your “necessities” which varies by region and age difference and looks and agreed tasks)…as you learn, you begin to see what your potential COULD be…you might receive added training (how to take care of details like @gentleman’s example), or see a niche market you can cater to (submission, domination, “curvy”, etc.)…each of these facets gives you a better resume to build upon for the next opportunity…

    Now, sometimes, someone can land the perfect opportunity right out of the gate…but…that’s a rarity indeed!

    Sometimes, a SB might meet the right guy her own age (outside the sugar bowl, or even in it)…

    Sometimes, a SB gets hardened against men because she did not learn anything from her first experience (or any experience for that matter) and makes it seem like EVERY SD is like her bad experiences…

    Sometimes, a SB hits the “jackpot” and makes it seem like it was something regular to happen and creates delusional expectations for others starting out in the sugar bowl…

    I’m not saying it doesn’t happen, but there needs to be some reasonable expectations when you first enter the bowl…just like entering ANY business atmosphere, there will be a period of time where you are earning your living and then, hopefully, a period of time where you can maximize your experiences to your benefit…

  151. FriendlySpirit says:

    Great post, very constructive! SA, please consider a permanent repository for “best-of” blog topics, with links to posts like this. Maybe a new “Reference” page? I think everyone could benefit from a go-to page with tips on good behavior and red flags to watch out for.

    @Jaybird923, you seem like a beautiful and interesting person. If you have a moment, please look me up. I’d love to chat :)

  152. gentleman soul says:

    @Cuc
    –if they did their best to not only provide a reasonable amount and also added just a dash of care they’d probably receive more of a positive attitude.

    There are louts everywhere -even in the sugar bowl. A “reasonable amount” is in the eye of the beholder. Married SDs have a lot more pressure to achieve the primary goal of attracting a sex partner who is decades younger than their given age . Therefore many of us can not date our Pots and charm them with our assets -wit ,intelligence, business acumen ,and personality . We have less time available for the fluff, and have to get right on to the main event . I want to make love to a 20+ something beauty in return for taking care of some of her needs financially. That doesn’t mean that I don’t want to take her out to dinner, or spend a night at the club,or a day yachting on my boat . It is just that I can’t .

    @ONSD
    My SB paid in cash that she knew I was good for . She made it all easy for me to see her. This is a great lesson for all SBs . Make it easy for your Daddy to be your Daddy.

    @Julia
    I like your full length picture . You are full figured and beautiful -show it . The glasses add a “mature” look that is secondary to me .

  153. yougottabekiddingme says:

    @Online

    Thanks for your comment. I follow what you mean. I just think of it more in realms of reality. There’s the realm of what one’s reality is, but also the realm of what one’s reality could be. I get that people will choose which attributes of these realms work best for best for them. Am not trying to set up the majority for slim pickings. It just seems that many limit themselves to normative values and projections, and accept that as their reality…irrespective or objective? of, possibly oblivious to? what their reality could be.

    @Jay

    Indeed.

  154. CucumberOnLids says:

    @Joey @gentleman soul
    I agree… but what are you paying for? If it’s just sex why bother with a sugar baby?

    Why not just get a hooker ? Those who say these things have never experienced that world . You still have to do a m&G at the risk of LE stings ,the escort sees multiple Johns sometimes one coming in the door as you go out ,no Bareback advisable , and there is rarely emotional involvement . A courtesan can feel exclusive and might be low volume ,but the price tag for that service is steep . So give up the “get a hooker” mantra. What an SD on the performance end (vs the romance)of the arrangement is looking for is the following:
    1)non Pro
    2)low (or no) volume -possible exclusivity
    3)some personal involvement but not organic
    4)lower cost
    5)minimal dating
    6)set deal re:allowance/visit

    So in a way it is Pro-like ,but totally with an amateur

    ————————————————————————————
    Honestly I can understand both sides of this but the issue is that many of these “SDs’ aren’t approaching with the right amount of sugar to make the sugar baby feel like less of a cheap high volume street prostitute.

    If they did their best to not only provide a reasonable amount and also added just a dash of care they’d probably receive more of a positive attitude.

    The problem is that not only are most vulgar, cheap, selfish and just repulsive in how they go about it” the get a hooker” is always going to be yelled back at them.

    Even time if they mixed in an activity or something light hearted the SB wouldn’t feel as apposed to it.

    My last SD could have very well been a John but I wouldn’t have known because we watched WD laughed, chatted, went to dinner, played monopoly just like any normal couple would on a weekend getaway vacation trip. That’s what it felt like. I was with my bf and we took a weekend trip together.

    Now he’s single so he can disappear for a weekend and not be missed by some other party. I think that’s primarily why the single SD seems to mesh well with me and the married ones seem wound up too tight. The married ones scare me most because they are either too direct in their approach with a “how much” or ” 20 mins offers” that I’m leery of them. It’s that or they take too long to respond popping in and out of contact that you’re thinking “hmm unreliable”. Then they want you ready for them at a moment’s notice with some of the most ridiculous offers. Maybe that’s all they could scrape together without the wife getting wind of it but still they’re approaching women that have no interest in being treated like hired holes.

    If the single SD is cheap then you wonder ok you’re not taking care of children, house , wife etc so why is your offer so low and worse why are you so creepy and secretive about just basic information? Those are the ones that I probably fear the most because their behavior isn’t warranted.

    One SD I apologized to mainly because I took his behavior personal and had to sit back and look at his situation with open eyes. Once I did that I understood why he behaved the way he did. Still his problems are not my own and I’m not going to feel sorry for a guy that is clearly only thinking of himself.

    Bareback too? I already expressed my issues with that as I honestly feel they’re abusing the bowl if they’re sleeping around not only with high volume escorts but with SBs.

  155. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    Welcome @SBJulia – took a look at your profile…you may want to edit the picture with the toilet in the background, just an on-going issue in comments between SDs…even though it’s a clean room, it’s still a toilet 😉

  156. Sugar Baby Julia says:

    Interesting comments!

  157. CucumberOnLids says:

    So my SD pot dinner went well. He’s a handsome older man, great beard yum! We had a great time but he did say I seemed reserved and worse terrified. Ha! He’s right. Every pot I meet from the site I just have this fear of the unexpected that it’s showing all over my face. He seems to be more of a mentor type and I think that’s what I really need. Someone that is great in business and can not only help financially but assist me with business pursuits.

  158. Jaybird923 says:

    @YGTBKM I understand where you coming from. When all you hear is the other perspective you begin to question yourself. While we may be in the minority we do exist and there are others looking for the same thing we are. It limits our options but if you’re honest and upfront it also reduces the amount time you spend sifting through the haystack.
    Like any other thing in life there are many facets to sugar. There is no one size fits all. Every one has to do what’s best for them.

  159. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @YGBKM – remember there is a bell curve to almost everything in the world…you are not alone, but, you are not the norm either…it’s great to talk about the outliers in an industry or lifestyle, but it’s bad when you set up the majority for an experience that is not the norm…

  160. yougottabekiddingme says:

    @Scarlett

    Hey, Lady! 😀

    @Jay

    I sometimes find myself questioning or trying to place my companionships in regards to what others express here on the blog. What some deem rare or delusional has been my reality, and I have a hard time imagining it any other way for myself. It’s nice to know that others have found reward with similar approaches and experiences.

  161. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Temptation – check your email…I think you’re doing something wrong in your search/filter…you should be FINE in your category…

    I apologize it took me until to day to run the SD numbers for you…you should be FINE…something is screwy with your search!

  162. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @gentleman – I’ve had that with a past SB as well…it was nice to not have to plan…however…I also appreciate being in “control” of things, especially when it’s my card doing the charging 😉

  163. LadyScarlett says:

    True online.. I have stayed at a couple, which let you remotely check-in, through app and key for room as well with app…however, they were in big cities…am sure it will trickle down to smaller cities eventually.

  164. gentleman soul says:

    @ONSD
    That’s why I would prefer to checkin at the hotel before meeting SB somewhere else (for coffee, lunch, dinner, etc)

    My ATF true love SB of several years ago used to get the hotel and have things ready for us when I got there . I never once set foot in the office.

  165. Jaybird923 says:

    “wwell ,rich guys don’t need that -just go on SA and bingo !”

    @gentleman I disagree It has nothing to with whether the can afford it or not. It’s the whole Thomas Crown Syndrome. Sure you can pay for it but the challenge/fun is in getting it for free?

  166. gentleman soul says:

    @Alicia
    He then went on to say how the next two weeks he has to work late and that his schedule will be unpredictable until x date. I thought maybe he’s just not interested?

    He is either continuing the interview process with other Pots ,or now that you are on the books he is involved with his family and his play phone is elsewhere. Time will tell. My philosophy is there is always 10 seconds to text someone and say “thinking about you “. The only exception to this rule is if his bat phone is not in a safe place. (assuming he is married)

  167. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Lady – I understood…but even those brands locally are still on the keycard model…I’ve yet to see one locally that took the app as entry key…I do checkin via app as often as possible, but there’s still the pick-up of the key to deal with.

    That’s why I would prefer to checkin at the hotel before meeting SB somewhere else (for coffee, lunch, dinner, etc)…then head back to the hotel…or…just meet at the hotel and head out to eat/drink after 😉

  168. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    RE: “hidden” profiles and activity…

    I forget who had the question…There are two things for SBs to realize about SD profiles:
    1. If it says “Standard SD” on it, he’s not paying…which means he’s NOT going to be able to ready your messages! If he doesn’t respond, but views your profile, he’s probably trying to determine if you are “worth” paying the membership fee for…he may (as I have in the past) be waiting for multiple SBs to contact him (or to see multiple profiles in his searches that would be of interest) before paying the membership fee again.
    2. When you do a search, the “Hidden” activity actually appears to show in the same category as the profile is active (meaning, if someone appears in the “Online” part of the search, but shows “Hidden”, (s)he’s probably online now)…this could be because they are searching, they are responding to messages they have received, they are continuing to communicate with someone they are NOT interested in because of a connection on the blog or something else, etc., etc….don’t think that just because someone is “Online” they are looking for something else (but don’t think that it isn’t an option for them either).

    Hope that helps clear something up for you?

  169. gentleman soul says:

    @Jaybird923
    “More like a BF than an SD.”
    @Gentlemen I disagree Why shouldn’t I look forward to spending time with an SD? I don’t understand your reasoning behind this statement.

    ideally that is great to have . There is a lot of talk about a strict arrangement vs a more organic IRL-like one. They are all good depending on what each party wants . I’ve had both and I prefer the latter organic loving affair-like one . But reality is what it is . And right now I have to go with the stripped down version.

    @Eloquence
    @ all
    How fast would anyone have sex with either a SB or a SD that they have seen before after much time has passed?
    That is rhetorical -right ? ASAP

    Jaybird923
    @Reb I’m with you. Sounds like a scheme to get laid.(the gang party)
    wwell ,rich guys don’t need that -just go on SA and bingo !

    @Joey
    I agree… but what are you paying for? If it’s just sex why bother with a sugar baby?

    Why not just get a hooker ? Those who say these things have never experienced that world . You still have to do a m&G at the risk of LE stings ,the escort sees multiple Johns sometimes one coming in the door as you go out ,no Bareback advisable , and there is rarely emotional involvement . A courtesan can feel exclusive and might be low volume ,but the price tag for that service is steep . So give up the “get a hooker” mantra. What an SD on the performance end (vs the romance)of the arrangement is looking for is the following:
    1)non Pro
    2)low (or no) volume -possible exclusivity
    3)some personal involvement but not organic
    4)lower cost
    5)minimal dating
    6)set deal re:allowance/visit

    So in a way it is Pro-like ,but totally with an amateur

  170. LadyScarlett says:

    OnlineSD, No, I am sorry…no coffee yet..I meant, many hotels allow you to check in and get room key, via app to smartphone(Hilton and Starwood, for example). You know me and my apps 😉

  171. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Temptation – I’m sorry about the numbers I sent you…you DO have some competition…but…I think with a targeted and “perfect” profile, you have the right attitude to meet the SD that will be right for you…it’s just going to take some patience and dealing with some of the SD who might be the douchebag and PUA crowd…I wish you success…and continue to talk if you have questions!

  172. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Lady – there may be hotels that will send a key by app, but most still have the card required for entry, which leaves needing to “check in” at the desk…it’s funny…at one of the hotels I use, between arrangements rarely visiting, when I returned because of Student the front desk person said, “I thought I remembered you, it’s been a while…hope this means business is picking up so you’ll be able to use us with greater regularity?”

    I just smiled and said, “I hope so”

  173. Jaybird923 says:

    @Scarlett Exactly The advice I was going to give

  174. Jaybird923 says:

    @YGTBK You’re welcome. I’m glad someone found them useful :)

  175. LadyScarlett says:

    “Apples says:
    June 15, 2015 at 8:02 am
    @ josh
    Why try to find a good actress and not just go for the real deal – a woman that likes you and finds you attractive? There’s no need for games.”

    One only needs to read a few of his past posts and you will quickly find out why the actress role is quite necessary in his case :-/

    Alicia, most authentic SD/benefactors are workaholics and very successful for a reason. They have very limited time, so you will need to work around his schedule. I would not initiate contact with him again and just wait it out…he has expressed his interest, so he seems sincere in what you described. Of course, there is a chance he is still interviewing others but that is to be expected. A promise of an arrangement does not always make it so…do not appear to eager with him, and keep meeting others, if anyone else peeks your interest. There is an interviewing process for both sides, but can understand the focus of this one guy–there are always the ones with whom we like best!

    Online, is there not a large hotel around your area, or a hotel where you can check in and have a room key sent to your via app for iPhone/smartphone? Of course, the smaller hotels do ‘observe more’…

  176. yougottabekiddingme says:

    @Jay

    Your comments over the past couple of days really resonate. Thanks for sharing.

  177. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Kathie had it right…I hear so often the SBs on blog talking about loving to swallow…that’s probably just as problematic for disease transmission as unprotected sex…the same as a man oral on a woman…

  178. Apples says:

    @ josh
    Why try to find a good actress and not just go for the real deal – a woman that likes you and finds you attractive? There’s no need for games.

  179. DaBomb says:

    @Joey

    Not married.

    Would you wife leave you if you lost all your money? You have low standards for a relationship.

  180. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Joey – sorry for being vacant over the weekend…family commitments…

    I have routinely checked in at hotels as early as 10am (when stated check in is at 3pm or later)…getting a “favorite” hotel is a good thing…getting to know the front desk staff is another good thing…

    I went with a SB to a different hotel than I would normally use and wanted to check in at 1:30pm when it was a 3pm check in…the SB followed me into the hotel as I was checking in (Problem #1 – NEVER check in with SB, even if she waits in your car while you check in, do it on your OWN)…guy behind the counter IMMEDIATELY said there was an early check in fee (first time I had encountered one)…when I asked for two keys, there was suddenly a charge for the second key…and I got the “look” from the guy and the gal behind the counter as we made our way to the elevators.

    Those are the types of issues…when I check in NOW…I will usually do it BEFORE I meet SB, so I have the keys already…I know the front desk person and don’t get any question…when we’re done, I make sure SB isn’t walking out with a key (don’t need a surprise “party” happening on my room charge), set them on the counter and leave…I never check out of a hotel, especially with a SB…no need to…we don’t watch movies, we don’t play the video games on the tv, we might use the towels, the bed, the desk, the chairs, whatever, but that’s “normal wear and tear” on a room…no need to check out…I’ll also always leave a light on and the tv on when I leave…so no one gets any ideas about getting into the room before “check out” time.

  181. Josh says:

    Since a good number of SBs are idiots, they remain preoccupied with “i don’t want to provide sex for money”. The funny thing is that they have NO QUALMS WHATSOEVER to take money in “exchange” for no sex.

    What they fail to grasp is that many SDs are looking for good actresses, as in someone who can pretend to be enjoying their company.

  182. alicia says:

    I am new into the sugar bowl. I was a sugar baby for a few months a few years back. I met a potential sugar daddy last week. I was pleasantly surprised, how shy, and easy he was to talk to. I became attracted to him as our date went on. He had done this before, his sugar baby found him actually. They were together for over a year and a half. He told me he was divorced and had full custody of his little girl. He works a lot. Right on the date, he was asking me what I wanted in terms of an allowance, we agreed on a generous number. After the date he messaged me, and said, it was so nice to meet me, and to let me know what pace I wanted to move at. A few days went by and I hadn’t heard from him? I reached out via text to say I hope he had a good weekend. He wrote back with how sorry he was that he hadn’t been in touch, that he’d been working late every night since we met ect. He then went on to say how the next two weeks he has to work late and that his schedule will be unpredictable until x date. I thought maybe he’s just not interested? I replied with, I understood he’s buys, and he knows how to reach me if he wants to get together. He responded with he def wants to see me again. I am sort of hung up on this one because I felt more chemistry with him, then other SD I’ve met. Any suggestions? Thank U!

  183. Josh says:

    @Jay

    It’s like trying to do the deed with a hot dog down there with the hallway.

  184. Joey says:

    @DaBomb,

    >@Joey
    >“Part of what I am paying for is something like a real relationship, not just $X / fuck and suck.”

    >“I’m 30 years older than the girl I am negotiating with. She would not be with me if money was not there as a sweetener.”

    >You want a relationship with someone who would not be with you without money on the table? What kind of relationship is that?

    DaBomb, are you married?

    If you were an unemployed loser who could not support her do you think your wife would have married you?

    So what is the difference?

  185. Apples says:

    @IHF2030
    I’m an SB, and like Jaybird I’ll only have an arrangement with someone I’m attracted to. Maybe I’m being a little selfish for wanting to like the guy and get sugar but I think SDs didn’t get where they are by being stupid. They can tell after a few dates if you’re not really into them.
    Attraction is however more than just physical looks, there are many different elements. Maybe he has an amazing voice or he’s confident, these kind of things along with personality for me are much more important than physical looks. I think a part of it is inherent within the idea of an SD. He’s a guy that while you’re with him, he’ll be able to take care of you, kinda like having a protector lol, he wants to make sure you’re ok.
    I’ve had an SD who would not be considered conventionally handsome but I really enjoyed spending time with him because he was funny, made me feel comfortable and had an amazing sense of style.
    I feel like with my current SD that if we had met elsewhere maybe we might have had a more conventional relationship. But as it is we live in different circles. I have healthcare debts and he has a wife. So it means that things are different and this is a way for us to come together if only temporarily. I think he’s stunning, he has gorgeous European looks and he is very charismatic and I find that very sexy. Yes he’s older but that just means he has a bit more experience and knows how to care for a woman.
    Sorry if all that sounds a little sappy lol – I have my share of horror stories but it important to share the good stories too imo.

  186. Jaybird923 says:

    @Josh If the vagina is big and the dicks little… I’m guessing it’s not that enjoyable. Sort of like tossing a hot dog down a hall way

  187. Josh says:

    @flyR

    With a big vagina and a little dick down there how does it feels to do the deed all by your lonesome?

  188. Jaybird923 says:

    @wheresmysugar that’s right along the lines of what I thought it would be like.

  189. Jaybird923 says:

    @IHF2030 I’ll only enter an arrangement with someone I’m attracted to. that is also in my profile. Attraction for me is based on the whole package. No matter how hot you are if I don’t like your personality it’s not happening. Or if you’re an idiot it’s not happening.

  190. IHF2030 says:

    So, how many sugarbabies are actually, physically attracted to their sugardadies?

  191. DaBomb says:

    @Charlotte

    “If someone dates ONLY for physical attraction, what kind of relationship would it be?”

    A shitty relationship but probably better than one based on money.

  192. WheresmySugar says:

    I even got solicited several times from men asking “Would you like to hook up tonight?” Excuse me this isn’t a party for hookers and prostitutes. I’m sure there were a few hiding in plain site though.

  193. WheresmySugar says:

    So the party was absolutely terrible in my opinion. There were men who werent even members of SA. There were also several men who had never had SBs.

    From what I heard from the one female bartender working the men didn’t even tip her.

    It was like a high school prom. The men sat on the sidelines and twidled their thumbs while the women did all the work. And of course at this party the women outnumbered the men greatly.

  194. Charlotte says:

    @Dabomb,

    It can be a relationship where parts supply each other with whatever it is missing.
    If someone dates ONLY for physical attraction, what kind of relationship would it be?

    @Joey, you really have the perfect arrangement idea for some sugarbaby:)

  195. DaBomb says:

    @Joey

    “Part of what I am paying for is something like a real relationship, not just $X / fuck and suck.”

    “I’m 30 years older than the girl I am negotiating with. She would not be with me if money was not there as a sweetener.”

    You want a relationship with someone who would not be with you without money on the table? What kind of relationship is that?

  196. Joey says:

    @Rembodler,

    I agree… but what are you paying for? If it’s just sex why bother with a sugar baby?

  197. FlyBoy says:

    It’s funny how the entity with not one iota of masculinity in it, keeps accusing everyone of being a woman.

    Cheers :)

  198. rembodler says:

    @Joey
    It does not matter what you want, buddy. You get what you paid for. If you are lucky, you can get a bit more…just… make sure you check the fine print.

  199. flyr says:

    @jay “”The problem as I see it is this need for instant gratification on both sides. He wants sex right away she wants money right away.
    “”

    The answer is just say YES……. but have done your shared homework and filled in the details before to eliminate bad surprises.

  200. Joey says:

    Lots of interesting stuff here in the last day.

    @Cryptic, I really don’t understand the idea of paying for an SB relationship without sex. I certainly would not. I have had some SBs as me for money for a first meet and I have bluntly told them that I will pay for dinner, coffee, or drinks and their taxi fare but no money until we have a relationship. Some have agreed, some have walked. I have never compromised on this.

    On the other hand, I also do not understand why you would look for an SB if all you want is sex. A hooker is simpler and cheaper and if she opens her mouth it is presumably to give you physical pleasure, not to talk with you.

    For me an SB / SD relationship should be a genuine friendship as well as a business relationship. I don’t see any contradiction between that – I have become genuine friends with people working at vendors and customers, so why not with a SB? To me that is the difference between a hooker and a courtesan – an good SB relationship is like having a private courtesan. If I am not interested in talking with her before and after sex and even sometimes meeting to talk without sex then why bother with an SB?

    @Rembodler,
    “I have no idea how to do an allowance not linked to the amount of dates/month. Allowance is X dates per moth, period. If I want more dates, it is extra. If she “is not in the mood”, she is not getting her allowance. Anything else will be abused either by me (I will want more dates for the same allowance) or her (she knows that she is “worth” so much more, so I should be content to see her once a month for that “pittance”).
    Why make open to interpretation things that should be crystal clear?”

    Well, I go for a monthly allowance with a certain expectation on how much time we will spend together but also with the understanding that the SB’s school and my work may sometimes get in the way.

    Part of what I am paying for is something like a real relationship, not just $X / fuck and suck. That also means I may meet my SB just for coffee sometimes if she and I have time. Some months we may meet extra, some not so much. If being with me a few extra times is such a burden that she needs extra cash to compensate then I have the wrong girl. I have no illusions – I’m 30 years older than the girl I am negotiating with. She would not be with me if money was not there as a sweetener. But with that sweetener I want this to be like a relationship, not a whore.

  201. flyr says:

    Joshie “”Unless she is a virgin and saving it for the one, which is very understandable, any woman who delays sex does not respect you enough to do the deed.””

    Josh – You could make a great contribution to the psychiatry by taking a collection of your posts describing women and sharing them with a true professional .

    Your sexual and relationship vocabulary is straight out of the 7th grade boys locker room.

    do the deed

    down there

  202. Josh says:

    @IHF2030

    Technically, she’d be a clowness. 😉

    By the way, she will soon claim that you’re one of @Josh’s proxies. LOL!

  203. IHF2030 says:

    Josh, you are correct that flyboy character is a clown.

  204. IHF2030 says:

    I hope that the forum will be up and running soon.

  205. GeorgiaPeach12 says:

    @Promise
    Thanks Honey.
    I suspected. LOL
    Hopefully, the SA folks will get the new forum up soon with better topics, etc. and that will help. Hope you’re doing well. Any dates yet?

  206. Promise says:

    @Josh Sweet~

    @GP Same old same old over here.

  207. Josh says:

    @Madame flyR

    “Over the weekend an old friend reminded me that we did something similar 10+ years ago”

    Sweetheart, as usual, this anecdote is as contrived as your other stories. NO MAN has to be “reminded” of such events… Like E V E R.

  208. Sarah says:

    Im probably on the late show here but anyone recommend the PA site?

  209. FlyBoy says:

    Jaybird923:

    if you want pussy bad enough to jump through hoops for it that’s your problem for being stupid.

    This is your problem Josh!

    -Do you want pussy? If so, what did you do to get it from her? And, why did it not work?

    -What did you say to make her comfortable? And, why did it not work?

    -Did you avoid saying stupid things like; “why is a nice girl like you on SA?”. If not, why?

    -Did you wear nice cloths? If not, why?

    -Did you dominate the interaction while letting her say all she wants to say? Do you know how?

    -Did you escalate physically without discomforting her? Do you know how?

    …….. etc, etc

    Unless you can answer these questions and more, you will continue to be ‘awkward’ with women. A man can give you advice. A women can be receptive to the idea of sleeping with you for while. But when all is said and done, YOU have to put your thing in.

    That’s how it works! Nothing any one of us, men or women, can do anything to change it.

    Cheers :)

  210. Jaybird923 says:

    @Josh lol I really would like you to respond. There’s still to other points to explain. I just got you started :)

  211. Josh says:

    You are fully capable of asking questions and then answering them as well. I don’t think that I need to respond. 😉

  212. Jaybird923 says:

    @FlyR The lack of exclusivity for this event was one of the main reason I had no interest in it. I have no desire to spend an evening surrounded by the instagram/tumblr crowd. I would be open to something along the lines of what you described.

  213. Jaybird923 says:

    @Josh the only disrespect I see is #4 and if you fall into that category you weren’t getting laid anyway. Wheres the disrespect in the other 3 items on the list? And don’t say what about #3 if you want pussy bad enough to jump through hoops for it that’s your problem for being stupid.

  214. flyr says:

    @ Jay “@FlyR I saw some of the pictures on instagram. It didn’t look that great to me haven’t heard anything from anyone who’s actually attended””

    Someone asked me what I would do if I were the SA emperor ….. Over the weekend an old friend reminded me that we did something similar 10+ years ago

    A group of us chartered a boat every couple of months for a Friday evening cocktail and appetizers cruise. There were 1

    0-15 of us guys depending on the evening and we paid for the event. Each of us invited 2-3 women whom we knew. Usually end up with 25-35 people about 2/3 female.

    It was a lot of fun for everyone. Many of the married went home when we docked (but often with some numbers to follow up on) and we would often close the yacht club or one of the adjoining bars.

    Other evenings we would take over a section of the bar at Trader Vicks for the evening.

    I mention this only because I think there are some concepts which SA could adopt for their parties….

    strictly private , low profile events
    invite only
    women are sponsored
    bar is open
    food is good

    stand back and let human nature work

    I have been invited to some private events where the guests are high level professionals but have not had a great inclination to attend.

    For whatever reason SA seems to shoot themselves in the foot with their obsession for publicity for these events. Perhaps they believe the old adage that there is no such thing as bad publicity but iti’s not realistic.

  215. Josh says:

    Depending on her interest level, after 30 seconds she will come up with her game plan;

    1. Fuck him not matter the cost to her
    2. Fuck him only IF
    3. Get utility out of him by dangling X
    4. Ignore, insult, laugh at him. He’s a creep

    I see absolutely nothing wrong with that. She needs to make the best use of her 15 years of fame. It is what it is. 😉

  216. Jaybird923 says:

    @Josh I believe we had this discussion before. Yes you know instantly if you’re physically attracted enough to some one to sleep with them. What I don’t get is how is she not respecting you if she chooses to wait to get to know you or feel more comfortable with you. Unless just stringing you along and has no intentions of sleeping with you I don’t see how she’s being disrespectful.

  217. Josh says:

    Is it? A woman will know within 30 seconds of meeting a new man in her life if she loves/wants/likes/has to sleep with him or not.

  218. Jaybird923 says:

    @Josh What an asinine statement.

  219. Josh says:

    Unless she is a virgin and saving it for the one, which is very understandable, any woman who delays sex does not respect you enough to do the deed.

  220. Jaybird923 says:

    @FlyR I saw some of the pictures on instagram. It didn’t look that great to me haven’t heard anything from anyone who’s actually attended

  221. flyRv says:

    Parties

    Anybody heard how the SA party went this weekend ???

    On private parties – I would want to be sure that the prizes are to be given, otherwise it might be $15,000 for a royal flush or some other very improbable event.

  222. flyRv says:

    @Reb asked “How fast would anyone have sex with either a SB or a SD that they have seen before after much time has passed?”

    desirable former SB , the answer would be very slowly nibble by nibble…..

  223. GeorgiaPeach12 says:

    Good Evening Folks
    Back from a long week in Virginia.
    My Dad continues to do “ok” though misses my Mom immensely. I’m sure after >63 yrs of marriage, he’ll never get over losing her.

    From scanning thru, it appears to have been a busy, various topic’d week for you all. Solve any problems? Create more issues? Anyone found a new SB or SD? 😉

  224. Promise says:

    Good Luck

  225. Ms. Temptation says:

    Hello all
    so given all this talk about stds and responses from those who cannot read, I have decided that submission can wait til after I get an SD. I decided to take matters into my own hands. Onlines analysis is that my chances are slim to none. Had a pot SD message me today. Took the no nonsense approach will see if it works. Lol

  226. THEATLSD says:

    @LadySage hello beautiful.
    Same old stuff.
    SA finally wrote an article about salty SB

    I sent you an email awhile back. Let me know if you got it.

  227. Josh says:

    @Madame flyR

    “Although this is likely to bring Joshie screaming from mommies basement that I am advocating for the SB cause…”

    Men don’t write like this. Thanks for proving, again and again that you have a vagina and not a Dick OR maybe a big vagina along with a little Dick.

  228. Jaybird923 says:

    @ATL Thank you more Lord

    My not more I really miss being able to edit

  229. Jaybird923 says:

    @ATL Thank you more Lord :)

  230. Jaybird923 says:

    @LadyS Hello my curvy goddess! I’ve missed you.

  231. Jaybird923 says:

    @Rem I understand where you’re coming from I’ve been there before. I don’t like being forced to be the bad guy especially when I’m upfront about what I’m looking for. But many people are dishonest and agree to terms they have no intention of following through on. Because they think “I’ll change her mind or he’ll see how awesome I am and want more.”

    I’m not against it because “that’s what escorts do” I don’t mind being on my back 3-4 times a week. I just need the companionship and a level of intimacy. I have no objections to travel and room service… especially if it’s available whenever I have a need..:)

  232. LadySage says:

    Hello people of the page. Have I missed much?

    Same life here. Lots of focus on school :-)

  233. rembodler says:

    @Jay

    Most of my ex-SBs preferred just that – “on her back 3-4 times a month for X amount”.
    The common misconception about it, that is what escort will do. Nothing could be further from the truth. I will leave it at that.
    While it is incredibly tempting to find someone who wants more out of her arrangement, I was never able to find a middle ground, where SB wants to see more of me than was agreed upon – and she can control it.
    Probably it is the way I do it. As I mentioned before, I am not big on direct compensation, but I support traveling to nice places (as soon as the natives speak at least some English) – where we stay in nice hotels and, if you want room service, who am I to say “no”…:-).

  234. THEATLSD says:

    @jaybird. Maybe he thought you were a cactus.
    And I must simply say what a great luscious gravatar.

  235. THEATLSD says:

    @Prettygirl

    Well you should have asked that to start with.
    I checked it on my account. I am currently not upgraded and have my profile hidden.
    I can not find anyplace to turn off last active and I know I have hid it before. I’m pretty sure that is a feature for paid memberships. Sounds like this dude is pulling a fast one.

    Maybe some other SD can confirm it.

  236. Jaybird923 says:

    @Cryptic You noticed that too lol

  237. cryptic anomaly says:

    “I just got a message asking me “Would you like to smoke some weed, go to dinner, and have me eat you for desert” lol”

    Although you could eat a desert I have found it is not as sweet as a dessert.

  238. Jaybird923 says:

    I just got a message asking me “Would you like to smoke some weed, go to dinner, and have me eat you for desert” lol

  239. Jaybird923 says:

    @Remmy Lol I can see why that might be a problem. I have no desire to be in a relationship if anything I’d most likely be the one running for the hills if I thought you were getting to clingy. I don’t mind and occasional text or email but I hate talking on the phone.

    This goes back to being honest with your self and not being dulusional. This is what it is and changing the rules and getting upset when the other person doesn’t want to play anymore is unfair. I’m very honest about the fact that I don’t want a relationship on my profile but I want something a little more than me on my back 3-4 times a month for X amount.

  240. rembodler says:

    @Jay
    Well…see here where it gets a tad complicated. It is very tempting, do not get me wrong, to get arrangements like you describe. I had only two that were like this and I had a great time. Unfortunately, it starts to cross the line too soon into a relationship where it is first texting all the time, then phone calls, then tears, then “we should be together forever”. As a single guy, it is not obvious to an SB why I would want to say “no”. After getting myself into these situations, I only play with people who view it as a game. A game, unlike real life, should have well-defined rules.

  241. Jaybird923 says:

    @Reb I’m with you. Sounds like a scheme to get laid.

  242. Jaybird923 says:

    @Keke I can’t do it. There are plenty who can but I can’t. I’m such a horrible actress everything I’m feeling is written all over my face. You would know instantly that I have no desire to be in your company,or let you touch me.

  243. Reb says:

    I wonder how many people have been to these SD/SB parties. My SD said he had a SB conjure up a bunch of her attractive friends to meet him for dinner all at once, but that’s about it.

    “I am organizing another sugar-party at a beach house in XX on June 27. There are two sugardaddys inviting 4 sugarbabes to join. There will be excellent meals, pool, music, games with prize($15,000 in winnable prizes) etc. It’s a good, safe environment for potential SBs to meet potential daddys and one thing you cant fake good champagne, cash, and nice real estate! This event is to prove that the daddys have millions and are prepared to spoil. This is NOT a competition… the SDs and SBs choose if they want an arrangement or not, and with whom. The SDs are looking for quality SBs who are looking for a real arrangement, and all costs are covered including travel and airfare if required. If you’re interested please do let me know. :)”

    They said the prizes would be won by board or card games.. along with a treasure hunt.

    I have a hard time believing that.

  244. Eloquence says:

    @ all
    How fast would anyone have sex with either a SB or a SD that they have seen before after much time has passed?

  245. Keke says:

    @Gentlemen… aw, I think I misunderstood. I thought you were saying to withhold even though the SB upholds her end of the bargain. lol
    “Sounds like an ideal SB relationship. Very few participants are looking for true love”
    No not looking for it but… it is what is but it can’t be more.

    @Jay… I think very similarly. I can’t imagine entering an arrangement with someone I don’t enjoy spending time with them.

  246. Jaybird923 says:

    @Remmy I’m not trying to convert anyone. If that is what works for you then by all means.. I guess I just don’t see you wanting to spend time with me as abuse and I would never allocate my time based on how much you give me.

  247. rembodler says:

    @Jay
    I have no idea how to do an allowance not linked to the amount of dates/month. Allowance is X dates per moth, period. If I want more dates, it is extra. If she “is not in the mood”, she is not getting her allowance. Anything else will be abused either by me (I will want more dates for the same allowance) or her (she knows that she is “worth” so much more, so I should be content to see her once a month for that “pittance”).
    Why make open to interpretation things that should be crystal clear?

  248. Jaybird923 says:

    @Cryptic Thank you luv xoxo

  249. Jaybird923 says:

    “More like a BF than an SD.”

    @Gentlemen I disagree Why shouldn’t I look forward to spending time with an SD? I don’t understand your reasoning behind this statement.

  250. Jaybird923 says:

    @FlyR I agree with the quick meet up. No point in dragging that out we’re not here to make new pen pals. Unless we’ve been talking and interacting with each other since the first meet I disagree with sex on the second meet.

    Let’s be honest the first meet is usually an awkward affair in which you don’t truly get an opportunity to get comfortable with someone. The second meet should be spent getting to know each other.

    It’s a chance to see how she reacts to you when you initiate physical contact or see if she comfortable doing so. If I’m into someone I can’t help myself I find every reason to touch him. From pushing his hair off his for head to removing imaginary lint off his clothes.

  251. gentleman soul says:

    @KeKe
    I have mentally put him in the SD box, knowing that it likely won’t go any futher than awesome sex, bills paid, trips paid ( he just paid for me to go to Napa), other accesories (jewlery, clothes)

    Sounds like an ideal SB relationship. Very few participants are looking for true love

    “Why wouldn’t he be in the mood?!” well ,quid pro quo . My base deal is sex for allowance. Everything else is icing on the cake. Not seeing each other in spite of Daddy upholding his end of the bargain means he goes hungry (for you ,your company ,and sex) As one of the guys said earlier ,flyR I think , it is important to lay out the deal ahead of time ,so no one will feel disrespected . Ofcourse ,if you both are OK with the “See ya when I see Ya ” arrangement then it’s all good .

    @Jay
    You’re hopefully the lover,friend, companion that I look forward to seeing and can’t wait to spend time with.

    Sounds fantastic ! More like a BF than an SD. And as I said above each couple hads to evolve what works for them .

  252. cryptic anomaly says:

    @KeKe – Yeah that is my point, you spend a lot of time with someone, you have sex an intimate experience in itself. You make him happy and he makes you happy and makes your life easier. How can you not get attached in some way? I’m not talking about love and marriage but as you say you start seeing the person differently to how it all started.

    @ Jay – That is one the of the things I love about you the most and what makes you so beautiful, you’re not driven by the money and see this the way it should be.

  253. Jaybird923 says:

    “What if your SD isn’t in the mood to provide allowance some week ?”

    @Gentleman I think you misunderstood my meaning. I’ve said this before money isn’t a priority with me. I’m looking for a companion with whom I enjoy spending time with in and out of bed. I’m not looking to go to the highest bidder. So any one I enter into an arrangement with it’s because I genuinely want to spend my time with you not because you’re giving me something for doing so.

    So If you want to spend everyday of this week with me I’m find with that. But if next week I have out of town guest or work gets crazy and I can see you only one day that should be fine with you. I don’t want to feel like I’ve some how failed to meet my obligation.

    That’s my point you’re not an obligation. You’re hopefully the lover,friend, companion that I look forward to seeing and can’t wait to spend time with. When I’m with you I don’t want the outside world intruding. I want to give you my undivided attention. It’s not about not being in the mood.

  254. Keke says:

    @Cryptic… I could do without the attachment if I’m being honest. Sh*t is getting way to real over here. lol. We had crazy attraction and Chemistry from the first and it just keeps snow balling. He’s out the country and we will probably go about 3 weeks without seeing each other. Part of me is relieved and the other part is anxious. lol. I have mentally put him in the SD box, knowing that it likely won’t go any futher than awesome sex, bills paid, trips paid ( he just paid for me to go to Napa), other accesories (jewlery, clothes). And I really can’t be upset about it. We both went into it looking for great sex with perks. And that’s what I’m getting and more. Having mutual feeling for each other is mostly good and long as I don’t get delusional.

    @Gentleman “What if your SD isn’t in the mood to provide allowance some week ?”
    Why wouldn’t he be in the mood?! I guess depending on the relationship.. you don’t meet. I’m confused by why he wouldn’t feel in the mood in the first place. Why wouldn’t he want to uphold his end of the mutually benefical arrangement?

  255. gentleman soul says:

    @Cuc
    So message him and ask if he knows he has any incurable STDS / STIs if says NO but it’s a lie and you catch something well he could face prison time.

    This is why many SDs remain anonymous, to protect against wackos and criminals -at least until trust is earned . SDs ,use an alias, never carry your wallet with you unsupervised ,put a set of purloined plates on your car ,lock the glove box with personal data ,etc.

    @Joey
    How do you check in so they don’t know a tryst is happening? Certainly if you check in at 2pm and check out at 9pm they can figure it out.
    Who cares ? Do you think the front desk doesn’t get complaints from your room neighbors when your SB hits a high note -all night ?

    @flyR
    An arrangement for an SB which does not include intimacy is like buying an airplane that doesn’t fly.
    LOL good one !

    @Jaybird923 s
    Is that how most of you set up your arrangements? A set amount of meets per week? I don’t think I would like that.

    The reason I’m against the set amount of meets is because I don’t you to become an obligation I have to meet. If I’m with you it’s because I enjoy your company and spending time with you. So it doesn’t matter to me how may times we meet.

    What if your SD isn’t in the mood to provide allowance some week ?

  256. cryptic anomaly says:

    Above Anonymous was from me.

  257. Anonymous says:

    @FlyR- Thanks for that it makes sense. I like the Sugar Daddy conspiracy theory as well!

    @KeKe – LOL yeah I might not have explained that in enough detail. Some people really don’t want the attachment nor do they know what to do with it if it arises.I enjoyed the Sugar being left aside as I saw her smiles were genuine and we really connected. No problems here at all.

    @Jay – I don’t have an issue with feelings coming about it. I never got into this to hang around women who didn’t like me. I don’t think I would ever tell a SB I had feelings for her unless it was obvious she felt the same way. In my case she told me how she felt first. I agree though lying to yourself is not a great thing to do and can cause complications if you aren’t careful.

  258. Jaybird923 says:

    @Pretty girl If it has a yellow bar on the left side of the pic it’s a paid memembership

  259. PrettyGirl says:

    @THEATLSD

    I was actually asking because my SD deactivated his account when our relationship became much more serious. I’ve discovered that he created another profile. The time of activity is Hidden. I’m wondering if it’s another paid membership. He has told me that is isn’t. I’m not paranoid, there are reasons for me to take note.

    says:
    June 13, 2015 at 6:35 am
    @Prettygirl
    Not sure about SB. But you can check yourself in your profile there is a “hide profile” selection if it’s clickable then the answer is yes.
    BTW. Any “favorites”will still be able to see
    you.

    Other pet peeve is I still have SB that favorited me. I made contact with them, they ignored me by not responding but still have me
    favorited. Why? I’m OCD about that unfavorite me and move on.

  260. Jaybird923 says:

    @Cryptic We’re humans and sometimes in spite of our best efforts we develop feelings and form connections. I don’t really see that as being a problem. The potential for complications come from how you deal with those feelings. If you’re honest with your self there isn’t a problem.

    It’s when you start lying to your self and become delusional about the nature of the relationship that you run into complications. If you want more than what is being offered you have to be willing to walk away before you get further entangled.

  261. flyr says:

    @Jay – yes great picture, you might use the photo with different additions on your profile.

    “”He wants sex right away she wants money right away.

    When that is the case you don’t allow yourself enough time to interact with each other to figure out if you’ll work long term. Then you either end up back on SA looking for a new arrangement or you settle for someone less than ideal to avoid having to go through the process all over again.””

    There is also the issue that most potential SD and SB are looking at a number of options at the same time. Sugar relationships are like sharks moving ahead or dying. By doing better screening and exchanging information before the first meeting ( but not extending the time until you meet) and then , if necessary following up after the first meet it should not take that long.

    I am also a fan of making the second meet(if required) one that can lead to intimacy as it seems to be easier to adjourn from the neighborhood bistro to the bedroom for the first adventure than simply appearing at the site. It comes with the no commitment but open to the idea condition for the meeting. It more closely follows the pattern of IRL relationships

  262. Keke says:

    And I think the girl in the Red is really cute… I’m surprised you don’t think so @Cryptic

  263. Keke says:

    @Cryptic… “The other problem you can have when taking your time is you get into an actual relationship as happened to me once. Feelings can develop if you are spending a lot of time together paid or not. I think that is what some people try and avoid as well by keeping it business only but where is the fun in that.”

    And this is my problem. I was trying to go the whole SD route and ended up with a boyfriend, who I have to constantly remind myself can not be more than an SD to me. *sigh*

  264. flyr says:

    @cryptic – my experience of decade has been that sometimes is pays to start with a half month allowance to “lift” the relationship above the P4P stigma that’s often attached . Although this is likely to bring Joshie screaming from mommies basement that I am advocating for the SB cause I think I am actually encouraging to have more tools in your hunting kit.

    I think it have been stiffed on the half month deal perhaps one of 8 times . If it were 1 in 4 it is pretty good odds and even in the loss I am getting priceless information. if she is gong to run off with 1/4 of a monthly allowance I don’t really want her in my place where there’s a lot of valuable stuff laying around , the intel is worth the cost.

    The greater benefit is that it starts the relationship with a higher level of trust but also a very low max loss potential.

    In a pre joshian era I was accused by some of the SB’s of meeting with one of the more generous SDs for the purposes of artificially lowering allowances. It was actually a very interesting discussion over drinks with someone who was spending $10K a weekend on occasion but disappointed with the results.

  265. Keke says:

    @Jay

    I was catching up on a few TV shows and spending time with my SD before he traveled home for family obligations. Between 2 jobs, 2 kids. I don’t have a lot of time. Lot’s of new bloggers. Nice! Very interesting threads. I’ve logged in a a minute or two but not enough time to really contribute much.

  266. Jaybird923 says:

    @Keke thank you. Took it this morning I’m kind of regretting using it for the blog should’ve saved it for my profile. It came out really nice. Also welcome back you’ve been missed

  267. Jaybird923 says:

    @Sugar Expecting maturity and reliability from most 18 year old is a recipe for disappoint. I think you all know that but just can’t resist the chance at tapping barely legal tail. Don’t give up. It’s possible, you just have to put in the work to find one that’s an exception instead of the norm. They do exist. I use to be one :)

  268. cryptic anomaly says:

    @Jay – Taking your time is crucial but as you say everyone is in a rush but also they are both paranoid and thinking the other one will rip them off somehow. The other problem you can have when taking your time is you get into an actual relationship as happened to me once. Feelings can develop if you are spending a lot of time together paid or not. I think that is what some people try and avoid as well by keeping it business only but where is the fun in that.

  269. Keke says:

    Hey @Jay nice gravi!

  270. Jaybird923 says:

    @FlyR I agree that it should be about more than sex and money (unless that’s what both parties are looking for)The problem as I see it is this need for instant gratification on both sides. He wants sex right away she wants money right away.

    When that is the case you don’t allow yourself enough time to interact with each other to figure out if you’ll work long term. Then you either end up back on SA looking for a new arrangement or you settle for someone less than ideal to avoid having to go through the process all over again.

    A probationary period is necessary to accurately gauge a person character, reliability, honesty, and desire for genuine intimacy with you. For some reason intimacy has become synonymous with sexual acts. But it’s about so much more than that. If you spend time in someones company you’ll easily be able to tell if they are into you.

  271. Kathie says:

    Not directed at you.

  272. cryptic anomaly says:

    @Kathie – Was that directed at me or SD? I expect an 18 year old to be an 18 year old but also still honest and if she joined this site than she must have had some thought as to what she wants or hopes from it. I expect that from all the SB’s on here.

  273. Kathie says:

    ^ What do you expect lol? She’s 18, not 25. She’s only been an “adult” for 1 year or a couple months.

  274. cryptic anomaly says:

    @FlyR – For me the easiest and safest way is to pay per meet at first until trust has been developed. That way whether it is once a week or once a month etc it doesn’t matter as I am only paying for the meeting without expecting her to turn up again the next week which has been paid in advance. Mutual respect and chemistry is everything in the end.

    @Sugar Daddy – I avoid the women who are putting on shows with skimpy clothes, heavy make up and flirty names. I would prefer an 18 year old in jeans and t shirt stating upfront she wants a minimal allowance and to be spoiled a little and actually has some text about what she is like and what she is offering. Then again I have a thing for the humble girl next door type.

  275. Sugar Daddy says:

    TIME WASTER: Usually 18 years old. Usually cute with some very flirty screen name or tag line. Chats while exercising extreme caution bordering on paranoia. Will not give her phone for text. Asks you to use one of those horrid chat apps that wants access to your entire address book and privacy. Patience is required as she is young, OK fine. Rapport is built. She affirms that she is ready for an arrangement. She will even boldly flirt with you. Can not meet you because she has no car, no gas, no money etc. You offer to meet her someplace public or pick her up… and… after all assurances of the contrary… “I’m not sure I’m ready for this!”

  276. flyR says:

    @ Jay and Cryptic

    I get what Jay says about obligation becoming a burden, my suggestion would be to start on a per meet or number of meets per month and see how that works. With a fixed allowance and no number of meetings stipulated it is very easy for the relationship to drift. I think it is important to the relationship for each to give themselves a self review periodically and make sure they are over delivering on their promises (assuming it is mutual) . This goes back to recruiting a partner whom you like and respect. Yes you would not be together if there were not sugar involved but there is more to the relationship than sex and money.

  277. cryptic anomaly says:

    @Jay I totally agree with that. I think I mentioned on another blog that when I first joined up there were heaps of girl next door types, just normal women. Now there are a lot more shall we say stripper and hooker types. It was bound to happen in a way, especially when you advertise heavily using trashy SB’s then you start attracting the wrong crowd both male and female. It goes from being a Boutique store to a supermarket.

  278. Jaybird923 says:

    @Cryptic I think every one’s fear of being cheated or taken advantage of has kind of ruin the nature of what these arrangements should be. It should be natural but it’s turning into something else.

  279. cryptic anomaly says:

    @Jay – I don’t like the idea of stop watch meet ups either. The whole thing should feel as natural as possible.

  280. cryptic anomaly says:

    @FlyR – I agree, I have been noticing of late that the SB’s who choose minimal are actually a lot more grounded obviously. I think to some degree a lot of the negotiating has to be done during meets for sure as you can get a sense of each other so much better than online.

    @Jay – The way you describe it, it sounds fine. I think for us the concern is if the SB wants a monthly allowance than I think it is fair to want at least once a week with her depending on what that allowance is. Again it is all part of the negotiations, some women expect far too much for far too little. They get nowhere most often but all the same a minimum number of meets would be part of the deal anything extra is a bonus and suggests actual chemistry.

  281. Jaybird923 says:

    @Flyr The reason I’m against the set amount of meets is because I don’t you to become an obligation I have to meet. If I’m with you it’s because I enjoy your company and spending time with you. So it doesn’t matter to me how may times we meet.

    If this week we’re both free 3 days I’m find with spending them with you. But if next week I only have one day free I don’t want to feel like I have to find a way to meet my obligation of 2 days a week.

    Being there when you really can’t will ruin the experience. Instead of enjoying you, I’ll be thinking about what how quickly I can wrap this up.

  282. flyR says:

    @ cryptic – it’s not uncommon to get someone with unrealistic expectations or perhaps better described as what they are offering is not what you want. I’m a fan of handling that part of the intel gathering in the very first exchanges . Saves a lot of wasted effort on the part of both. However I think it is also not wise ( for either) to try to conclude the allowance negotiations before meeting. Is prudent for SB to establish floor

  283. flyR says:

    @Jaybird – the beauty of sugar is that it can be anything you want it to be. You say not looking for set number of meetings per week.

    How would you envision the ideal for you with regard to an agreement per meeting meetings per month irregular

  284. flyR says:

    @ cryptic –
    To me the number of meetings and format is very much a part of the “value” of the arrangement. But, what is value or “cost” to one might be minimal value or cost to another.

    frequency and regularity
    length
    activities

    In my case
    arm candy is not a factor other than I want an attractive SB to be with
    regular weekly meeting , pretty much have reserved evening but some flexibility
    normal evening is 3-4 hours , not a quickie and run
    normally meet at my place (vs hotel which I think it less attractive for most sb)
    SB knows she will be treated well – as special friend vs industrial debutante
    Reliability, intelligence, “niceness” have value

    Substantial age difference

  285. Jaybird923 says:

    @Cryptic it’s not directed at any one in particular. Just a general question.

  286. Maddie says:

    Thank you FlyR

  287. flyR says:

    @Maddie

    You already have some good advice from some here.

    Some of the more common stumbles

    Take the time to do a great profile –
    before you start writing think
    mission what do you want to achieve
    man – what type of man (or range) are you looking for)
    assessment – what do you have to offer
    what is attractive to the man you want to attract

    if you do not have marketing experience open a magazine or go to the
    market how do people sell slightly differentiated products ? by making
    the prospective customer recognize value

    Outline your profile paragraphs
    draft profile using world with spell check and grammar check

    edit and re-edit as if you were paying $50 per word

    You have 3 seconds to capture the SD interest , one great picture and a few words
    Sell the sizzle not the heifer

    Help the SD self filter – make it clear that you are looking for a real relationship
    Make it clear that you are worthy of the sugar – paying off drug debts is not
    attractive to most SD, helping someone move towards their dreams is attractive to
    many although certainly not all

    Motivate action

  288. cryptic anomaly says:

    @FlyR – Yeah I came to realize that. I was just getting into Sugar at the time. Luckily never went through with that deal.

  289. cryptic anomaly says:

    Is that how most of you set up your arrangements? A set amount of meets per week? I don’t think I would like that.

    Who was that directed to Jay?

  290. flyR says:

    @ REM wasn’t clear if you made an agreement for the first date and then negotiated her down for the future or retroactively renegotiated for the first date.

    unrelated
    An arrangement for an SB which does not include intimacy is like buying an airplane that doesn’t fly.

  291. Jaybird923 says:

    Is that how most of you set up your arrangements? A set amount of meets per week? I don’t think I would like that.

  292. Jaybird923 says:

    @Remmy Sorry if I misunderstood. I thought you both were listed at practical and you negotiated down.

  293. cryptic anomaly says:

    @Jay – Pretty much, I am going to need chemistry with a SB to make me pursue an arrangement otherwise it’s just money for awkward conversation lol

  294. Jaybird923 says:

    @Cryptic I understand. Since you live where brothels are legal your way makes sense.

  295. rembodler says:

    @Jay
    It was practical and it was two dates. Per week.

  296. cryptic anomaly says:

    @Jay so it kind of just comes back to negotiations a SB where I am will have to do better than a brothel in terms of price and time. Not to mention the chemistry has to be there or else again the brothel wins.

  297. cryptic anomaly says:

    @Jay – No not like that either. More like I don’t talk much and in the end if I am going to pay for company than do I pay $200 at a brothel with the choice of full service if I want that or even just chat while the woman is nude or do I spend more than that on a SB who isn’t going to get naked or have sex with me and just hug me, wear sexy clothes around me and leave me horny anyway. :-)

  298. Jaybird923 says:

    @Cryptic I got it. Not so much loneliness but more like a persistent throbbing that needed immediate attention.

  299. Jaybird923 says:

    @Remmy Thank God for great genes,they’ve served me well. But don’t you think that was a little underhanded to list your self at practical and then nickle and dime her down? Sort of like the SBs that say they are negotiable but really want high.

  300. rembodler says:

    @Jay
    After our date I negotiated her down to my usual deal.
    Since i do not have FlyBoy’s budget, I kinda have to be a charmer…and keep thanking mum and dad for giving me their best genes.

  301. cryptic anomaly says:

    @Jay – I don’t talk much conversation isn’t essential. But certainly not going to pay $1400 a month to shoot the breeze!

  302. Jaybird923 says:

    @Cryptic If the issue is loneliness I don’t think a brothel will help with that. Unless you’re planning to break out the chess board and discuss current events

  303. Jaybird923 says:

    @YGTBKM Thank you and It’s always boob week for me lol

  304. cryptic anomaly says:

    @Peeps – Well I didn’t go through with it. And shamefully it was all my idea in the first place, I was just lonely. But then I started to look at the maths and realized I could go to a brothel for $200 an hour full service! Early rookie mistake but I didn’t spend anything either.

  305. peeps says:

    @cryptic anomaly
    “it would be a meeting a week open ended amount of hours per meet but not really long either as in 10 hours etc. No sex.”
    NO SEX!!?? for $1400/mo
    Jeezzzz!!!

    I am on the SB front but I can’t believe some of you SDs fall for this…NO SEX..LMAO

  306. yougottabekiddingme says:

    *or was she saying

  307. yougottabekiddingme says:

    @Rem

    Also, was she saying that she would meet twice a month for that allowance? Or was she said she would agree for that allowance a couples of times as in for the first couple of allowances, after which point she’d appreciate a higher allowance.

    @Jay

    Spicy pic! Is it officially boob week?!

  308. Jaybird923 says:

    @Remmy You didn’t think the amount of times she was willing to meet was sufficient for that level of allowance?

  309. cryptic anomaly says:

    Another point on allowances, how rich or not he is, is irrelevant. If a man only considers “X” amount responsible than that is what you will get offered, chances are a wealthier man will pay you less or the same as an average wage earning one. And of course it depends on what you are offering and how much time is involved.

    Early on in my Sugar experience the first woman I met was wanting me to pay her rent which was $1400 a month, at the time I thought about it, it would be a meeting a week open ended amount of hours per meet but not really long either as in 10 hours etc. No sex. In the end even though I could afford that I just had to wonder why I was thinking about paying that much money to really end up with just getting teased and we weren’t chatting really well with one another anyway. So chemistry was also lacking.

  310. rembodler says:

    @peeps
    I think I had “practical” listed at some point and had a POT who said she is happy to meet in this range “a couple times”.
    My point – all these things still require “negotiations…:-)).

  311. peeps says:

    @finesse and @DowntownLASD

    Overtime I started realizing that as uncomfortable as it might be, the allowance discussion should be had pretty early on before meeting. I have met several people with the “negotiable” tag (mine is “practical”) who were not really either interested in allowances or thinking they could sort of negotiate things way down…so these days, what I do, with men that have the “negotiable” tag and contact me, is to state the range I am looking for and say that I don’t want to waste anyone’s time…

    Because from experience a lack of a discussion of that is always a bad sign from “negotiable” men. There are tons of them out there who are going to waste your time. I always appreciate men who state their budget clearly on their profiles. That tells me they are serious and understand the site.

  312. cryptic anomaly says:

    @Maddie – Yeah I would be really careful. I wouldn’t advise doing it unless you spent a fair bit of time with the person in your own area first and only then if you felt it was ok.

  313. Maddie says:

    If somebody contacts you that lives abroad and would like you to holiday there in return for an allowance, should this ring alarm bells? It’s the the thought of being in a foreign country alone?

  314. cryptic anomaly says:

    @Finesse I agree, I prefer everything to be upfront as far as expectations go. If a SB wants more than I am willing to pay or is just plain unrealistic than I would prefer to know now rather than later on.

  315. cryptic anomaly says:

    Hey Maddie, most SD’s do want someone close. I travel a lot though so if you want to chat my email is crypticanomaly73 at g mail dot com

  316. Maddie says:

    I have noticed there are very few SD’s in my area, I assume most SD’s are looking for someone close (ish) to them?

  317. Maddie says:

    Thank you two

  318. Keke says:

    Hi blog peeps,

    I see everyone is doing well. Yay. So to go backwards (sorry I know some of you hate that) and comment on the unprotected sex discussion.

    Quick story. I was assisting a doc with a gyne procedure when the patient (female) asked the doc to take a look at some sores that were on her thigh. Doc looks at it and let’s the patient know she thinks it’s herpes (uncomfortable, wish I wasn’t there for that). Patient is early 20’s in a monogamous relationship for 2+ yrs. He also gave her chlamydia. Lesson: unprotected sex is a risk regardless of what type of relationship it is. Unprotected sex of any sort (oral) is a risk period.

    Herpes 1 vs Herpes 2 – It’s the basically the same thing. The only difference is the virus site of preference. For some reason there is less stigma with Herpes 1 because sex isn’t necessarily involved. And probably because the majority of people get it as infants or kids from our parents (thank mom/dad) or other adults (Stop letting people kiss your kids!).

  319. Finesse says:

    Sorry to reply to an old comment, but I’d like to provide an alternate view.

    @DowntownLASD said: “A general rule of thumb for SBs: Asking what the allowance is up front is a turn-off, although we understand you don’t want to waste your time.”

    Personally, I didn’t find it a turn-off. I find it refreshing. I mean, this is not a regular dating site, right? SB are not dating SD because SD have six packs and George Clooney looks, right? It might be pleasant to pretend that your SB would be seeing you even if you weren’t providing an allowance, but let’s be real. So long as we’re not talking about P4P, what’s wrong with being honest and transparent?

    I don’t want to waste the SB’s time, and more importantly, I don’t want to waste my time. Why in the world would I want to meet a SB if her needs are beyond what I can afford?

  320. Ciara M says:

    Hi Theatlsd! Thanks for the welcome. I have read the blogs. I found them very interesting. I’m open to whatever, so holler people if you like to talk.

    c

  321. THEATLSD says:

    @Y. Gotcha. That looks like a low angle selfie. Interesting pic all around.
    Time for you to update yours angel.

    @temptation hello. How are things? I see ONSD kicked into his number crunching mode and gave you some good insight. Anything good hits?

    @Ciara welcome and there some good SB here to help you. You should also read the blogs and comments section.

  322. yougottabekiddingme says:

    @ATL and @Jay

    Good advice to Maddie!

  323. yougottabekiddingme says:

    @ATL

    I thought peep’s picture was photoshopped, and was joking with my earlier comment. I asked top or bottom half meaning in her photo frame. But maybe it’s just the angle. Or maybe she’s just not all-over tan yet! Nakey-nakey!

  324. Ms. Temptation says:

    Just checking in to say hello

  325. Ciara M says:

    ok, Thank you, Jaybird. Hi Everyone!

  326. Jaybird923 says:

    @Ciara Sorry no chat room everyone just socializes here in the comments section of the blogs

  327. Ciara M says:

    Greetings A/all,

    Is there a chat room associated with SA? I would like to learn and socialize with some of the SBs.

  328. Jaybird923 says:

    @Maddie Welcome and sorry things are tough for you right now. ATL gave you some good advice. So I’ll only add Two things don’t let your finances influence your decisions.

    Meaning be smart don’t put your self or your health in danger because you need money. If you follow ATL’s advice and read the blog you’ll see how many women do this and live to regret it. It never works out well. And don’t share your troubles with SDs. Don’t put it in your profile. Don’t go into details when you speak to them.

    You are here to be an escape for them and hearing about your money trouble won’t help facilitate that. And while most understand that money/gifts are a part of these arrangement no one wants to feel like the only reason you’re with them is for the money or that any man will do if he has the cash.

    Another reason not to is like ATL said there are freaks and creeps on here and any hint of desperation on your part will draw them to you like sharks to chum. So be confident and act like the money would be nice but you don’t really need it. Good Luck

  329. THEATLSD says:

    And @Maddie

    Six. Hit refresh on your browser to see responses. Old school blog

  330. THEATLSD says:

    @Y
    At Y. What picture?

  331. yougottabekiddingme says:

    Really, though. Im trying to figure out what’s going on in her picture. Maybe it’s my screen.

  332. THEATLSD says:

    @Y
    Yea that’s what happens when I get crazy busy, pissed off and tired. I only have time for feisty drive by post so I have to make the best of it.

  333. THEATLSD says:

    @Maddie
    Welcome to our world.
    First read the Blogs. More importantly the comment section. It’s loaded advice to others you just have to read the bullshit us regulars post.
    Second make a good profile

    Third: don’t be delusional in your money expectations

    Fourth: it may take a while to find a real and good SD. You will have wade through tons of freaks and creeps.

  334. Maddie says:

    Hi All,

    I am new to the site. I have read about it and thought I would give it a go. I am not unrealistic or greedy, just going though a hard time and in need of a cash injection. I wondered if anyone had any advice for me?

  335. Jaybird923 says:

    @ATL “Great minds baby” mines has been a step behind yours this week.

  336. Jaybird923 says:

    @YGTBKM Brazilian? I’m going to guess it’s the bottom half

  337. yougottabekiddingme says:

    @peeps

    Nice :). Which half? The top half or bottom half?

    @ATL

    Youre too funny. Youve been on a roll these past few days, by the way.

  338. THEATLSD says:

    @jaybird. Great minds baby.

    @Peeps
    Brazilian!!! yea good stuff there.

  339. flyR says:

    I think it was Bill Clinton who commented that he and Hillary practiced safe sex, she stood in the next room yelling F You

  340. Jaybird923 says:

    @ATL I was thinking the same thing but you beat me to it

  341. peeps says:

    @YHEATLSD
    Rachel Dolezal…too funny…I am actually Caitlynn Jenner. Just kidding.
    I am half Brazilian.

  342. YHEATLSD says:

    That previous msg was from moi

  343. Anonymous says:

    @YGBKM
    “Are you bi-racial? Your profile pic has a two-tone thing going on.”

    Maybe she is really Rachel Dolezal. :)

  344. Jaybird923 says:

    I read the most absurd over the top profile this week and my first thought was I must have him. lol Unfortunately he’s taking a break from sugar right now. On the upside he doesn’t seem to be able to stop himself from messaging me. I had to put a stop to that. @Hot I’m sharing just for you :)

  345. yougottabekiddingme says:

    @peeps

    Are you bi-racial? Your profile pic has a two-tone thing going on.

  346. THEATLSD says:

    @Peeps
    Good to see you and the girls back.
    Yes that happens and was one of my concerns when I first started. Especially the blackmail part, being married that’s a big concern. Also a reason never to really let the SB know where you work.

    PS. If we could get you, Lady Sage and Spoonful of Azucar together it would be the trifecta of boobage. That would be a wonderful sight. 😉

  347. THEATLSD says:

    @Prettygirl
    Not sure about SB. But you can check yourself in your profile there is a “hide profile” selection if it’s clickable then the answer is yes.
    BTW. Any “favorites”will still be able to see
    you.

    Other pet peeve is I still have SB that favorited me. I made contact with them, they ignored me by not responding but still have me
    favorited. Why? I’m OCD about that unfavorite me and move on.

  348. Jaybird923 says:

    @Josh :)

  349. peeps says:

    Another thing that hasn’t been discussed apropos of the article above: MANY men I met have told me that they were seriously scammed by women, some with allowances (give them the $$$ and they disappear), others literally stealing their credit card information and charging thousands of dollars on the SD’s name and others blackmailing them. There are serious creepy men on this site but there are also some borderline-criminal women on here preying on men. #Justsayin’

  350. PrettyGirl says:

    Off topic question, my apologies.

    Do you have to be a paid member to have your profile “hide” when you were last on the site?

  351. Josh says:

    @REM

    “very word above is gold.”

    Now you know why I don’t interfere with @Jay’s threads. 😉

  352. Joey says:

    @Josh,

    Like everything, your mileage will vary.

    Having met a reasonably large number of sugar babies in the past few months I am beginning to get the feel of this.

    Some women on the site are literally prostitutes. For them, nothing matters but cash per transaction. I think you would be crazy to have a long term relationship with them and all that matters is cash on the barrelhead, not your personality, income, or wealth.

    There are other women on the site who are really looking for a rich husband. The want to get to know you and have a relationship, and although they will appreciate gifts they will actually turn down an allowance – they don’t want you thinking of them as a hooker. For women like this it is about perceived wealth and personality. That means alpha, game, etc. are much more important with them.

    What I am finding most commonly is women who are something in between. They have certain financial needs that they want taken care of, but they do not think of themselves as having sex for money. They want an allowance, it may work out cheaper per meeting than a prostitute would, they want courtesy and respect, and they seem to be reasonably picky about their choices. For these women, you need to have enough money to meet their needs and, since you are older, a strong enough (alpha) personality to get them excited given that for most of us our bodies are not as attractive as they were 20 – 30 years ago.

  353. Josh says:

    Re: Recurring discussion about alpha, beta, gamma, theta, zeta, etc.

    A couple of women, pretending to be men, continue to try to shame SDs who raise their concerns about how SA’s business approach and general SB behavior is detrimental to SDs’ interests.

    Once such woman has created a blog persona of a successful man who considers SA a “pussy paradise” and that sugar is for super rich.

    The reality is that SA was created by an entrepreneur who claims to be challenged with women all throughout his life…

    Brandon Wade told Forbes magazine: “As a shy MIT nerd who was never kissed until 21, my ‘aha’ moment came when my mother told me to focus on my studies, because ‘one day when you’re successful and generous, the girls will come.’

    The Wade model supposedly works for men in his shoes who can scrape together $70 for monthly membership fee + date expenses + allowance + gifts. Suggesting that a typical SD should have “alpha” personality and uber wealth is simply hogwash.

    Once the website took off, other SDs joined that have their own variations of arrangement needs, such as, marital status, joined the site. It seems that married SDs now outnumber men who are in Brandon’s shoes or being nerdy and awkward with women.

    Again, wonton female posts trying to shame typical male membership by pretending to be a man is not in the best interest of the membership–male or female–and SA administration should take that into account while allowing such trolls to post.

    For the sake of argument, let’s assume that a good number of men are “challenged” due to their past awkwardness with women or due to their marital status, and they come here to join SA and try their luck with women. Telling them that they need to be “alpha” and super wealthy to play the sugar field is detrimental to this website’s value proposition. If one is alpha and super rich, good for you, why the hell you “need” this site to start off with. It is like going to a wheel chair store and to shame people who are trying to purchase most suitable wheel chair for their needs. If you are an Olympic speed runner, more power to you. Go to a shop that sells running shoes.

    Most men complain because women don’t live up to their expectations AND SA constantly eggs them on so they believe that they are behaving as the site allows them to do so. Such complaints are countered by women, pretending to be men, to “grow a pair”, “man up”, etc.

    Such female activity on the blog must be checked by the blog administration.

  354. rembodler says:

    I guess my point is – live your own life.
    Not the one that is recommended or advertised or dictated to you. Even if what “they” suggest appears very reasonable. You are only given once chance and we all know what awaits us in the end. People who give you all this well-meaning advice aren’t going to say “Thank you!” or join you when you are laid down in your coffin. So…if you want to live vicariously through other people’s experience, it is the choice you are making. I am not saying – be reckless. But do not be a teetotaler “just because I heard stories” either.
    I think it is simple enough.

  355. Kathie says:

    People seem to tell the person right before they become intimate.. like they’re both laying in bed lol.

  356. HotSausage says:

    It seems kind of overboard to say that you have HSV-1 straight up, especially if you’re not going to meet them when you have an outbreak. That said I guess its good to be open about that kind of thing.
    At what point do you mention it?

  357. Kathie says:

    Well, I am pretty sure my SD had a cold sore on his mouth, but I’m not 100% sure. I would have appreciated being told he had it. You can still spread the virus without having a sore formed, so yes, tell him.

  358. HotSausage says:

    If you get cold sores (aka oral herpes) very rarely (maybe once in a three year time span) is that something you discuss with your POT? When do you discuss it with them?

  359. Jaybird923 says:

    Women sues the salvation army because she was told she was to attractive. I saw her but I disagree with her boss. I would need to see how attractive he is.I’m guessing not very.
    [http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/06/12/woman-attractive-salvation-army_n_7569486.html?ncid=txtlnkusaolp00000592]

  360. Jaybird923 says:

    @Remmy :)

  361. Kathie says:

    I had protected sex with my SD and still got herpes. If you want to really cut it down, don’t accept oral sex. I think that is how I got it. He kept begging to have unprotected sex, but I said no, thinking I was safe.

  362. rembodler says:

    Jaybird923 says:
    June 12, 2015 at 7:13 pm
    Ok already. If you want to have unprotected sex do it, if you don’t then don’t. Hopefully every one here is an adult and can make their own decisions. Just be aware of the risk, the benefits, and be prepared to live with any consequences that may come from your decisions.

    Every word above is gold.

  363. Jaybird923 says:

    Ok already. If you want to have unprotected sex do it, if you don’t then don’t. Hopefully every one here is an adult and can make their own decisions. Just be aware of the risk, the benefits, and be prepared to live with any consequences that may come from your decisions.

  364. rembodler says:

    @ Cucumber
    I can see you did not really liked my joke…:-))).

  365. CucumberOnLids says:

    Thank you Joey! Yes Ms Temptation! Safe rather than sorry! I’m so glad there are SDs and SBs looking out for one another!

  366. CucumberOnLids says:

    Rem’s position on the unprotected sex.

    No one cares please sit back down Mr. Disease Haven no one actually called on you. lol

  367. rembodler says:

    Rem’s position on the unprotected sex.

    1. Life is dangerous. If you want to stay safe, do not get in your car. You may die.
    2. Sex is dangerous. For those of you who think that condom makes you 100% protected, you are a fool. Please seek reliable medical information; it is available. The condoms are used by people. To put it simply, in the heat of the moment your partner could easily “roll it on” in reverse and it will fall off in your VJ – together with his semen and what not.
    3. I strongly advise anyone who is considering “going bare” exercise maximum caution. Yes, you can ask your partner to get tested, but if he is someone who wants to get you fooled, he will. I am using “he” here because, for most part, women do not really care; it is the man for whom this makes a deal breaker.
    4. If you happen to run into an escort (walks like a duck, talks like a duck, is Cucumber) under no circumstances go unprotected. Use your sixth sense if you have to. However, fortunately for the naïve, escort would never ever will offer you that. You are just one of the 30 men she is gonna see this month. She is not going to risk it all with one or two out of her 30 clients. She is after the numbers and works on the assumption she will never see you again.

    The bottom line – do what you are comfortable with. However, if you are with someone who you trust and who trusts you, do not throw it all away just because the common wisdom and the hypocrites tell you not to do it. Look at the Duggar Family – who were oh so eager to tell you what the sin is…

  368. Jaybird923 says:

    @josh lol I’d go braless for the cause if I believed that they were actually working on a cure instead of turning a profit selling people pink stuff.

  369. Ms. Temptation says:

    Safe sex is not negotiable, if an SD or SB think it should be, red flag walk away and do not look back. Favour done. Lol

  370. Josh says:

    Armpit hair wil go to the way of the initial take on the no-shave-november nonsense. Several years ago when a young man suggested that I forego shaving in November for breast cancer awareness, I suggested that women should do no bra month instead.

  371. peeps says:

    I just can’t believe there are people here advocating unprotected sex. That is the dumbest thing I ever heard…for what???? Oh it’s the cheapo “minimal” dude with the long list of demands??? Any man here should think twice about slut shaming while cheating on his wife. Hypocrisy T-shirt awaits you.

    These guys are MARRIED and while I don’t mind that, on top of the huge safety issue, it’s a massive disrespect to the wife. If anyone were to suggest that to me, I’d tell them to take a walk. Unprotected sex can only happen in strict monogamy and serious commitment. If you’re going to cheat, do so responsibly. I can’t think of anything more demoralizing than being a wife whose husband puts his you-know-what in some random gal’s vag with nothing between them.

  372. Josh says:

    “borrowed Dick” Hahahaha

    IF I had AIDS I would not fuck her because of the fear ofccatching something.

  373. rembodler says:

    @Cuc
    You are certainly something I would not touch with a borrowed dick
    Have a nice day.

  374. Joey says:

    @CucumberOnLids,

    “Go ahead of and google “My sugar daddy gave me ” and see how fast google autopopulates a STD of choice and then run down that list.”

    So I tried it. Most of the autopopulates were about gifts or were about the sugar daddy NOT giving money. The only STD that showed up was HIV, but all of the results I checked were for cases in South Africa.

    I still think SB/SD sex without a condom is stupid on both sides – I’m currently negotiating with an SB who claims to be a virgin, but even with her I don’t know if she is lying to me, and even if she is not, I don’t know who she will have sex with the day after she has sex with me the first time. Not using a condom with her the first time would be exciting, but I’m not snipped and the last thing I want from her is a child nine months later.

    On the SB side, well, I don’t think many SDs are virgins, given that they are paying I doubt most feel any obligation to be exclusive to one SB, and if they are insisting on no condom with you they probably want the same from other girls.

  375. Jaybird923 says:

    @struggles I’m on the fence about it. I don’t think woman should have armpit hair but the other part of me understand the reasons behind the movement. So I’ll leave it at my choice for myself is not to have armpit hair.

  376. StruggleIsReal says:

    No to armpit hair on women. I mean if you want it and have men who enjoy it more power to you. But no. I find it yucky.

  377. anonymous says:

    Wow, thank you everyone for the input.

    I messaged him back and told him that I would be open to discussing it, that I would expect us both to get tested and share our results, and that it would only work for me if we were in a long-term arrangement (which is his desired outcome, anyways).

    I’m 100% clean and have been with my partner for 4 years (who is aware about my choice to seek an arrangement), so I have to consider him in all of this. This pot SD also has his wife to consider, so the way I see it, he should be just as concerned about the possibility of contracting something as I am. Provided he and his wife are not drug users/carrying something already/etc. as some of you mentioned.

    I’m not too concerned with whether or not it makes me seem like an escort if I want to use a condom every time. I’ve always used condoms in my intimate relationships until I was comfortable with the person I was with (long-term relationships lasting 2+ years), and this is really no different to me. I think my preference would be to start out using condoms, with the expectation that if we decide we work well together and would like to continue seeing each other, we can stop using condoms at that point. Even if he proved he was totally clean prior to the first time we had sex, I would have to get comfortable with him before being okay with not using any protection.

    He can offer a “practical” allowance and was with his last SB for 2 years. I’m sure he could find a SB who would be fine with no protection for the allowance alone, but it’s definitely not worth it to me if he’s not open to getting tested, and indicates to me that he is carrying something if he won’t, or doesn’t care if I do.

  378. Jaybird923 says:

    Has anyone heard about this new armpit hair movement? Yay,Nay,or doesn’t matter?
    [http://www.today.com/style/what-you-need-know-about-armpithairdontcare-movement-t25746]

  379. Josh says:

    Gtt_envy

    I am glad that you finally realized the folly of your ways.

  380. Josh says:

    @Cuc

    I am sure it wouldn’t happen that often.

  381. CucumberOnLids says:

    Josh says:
    June 12, 2015 at 1:05 pm
    I wouldn’t go bareback unless I have vasectomy with repeated testing AND after being with someone for a long time AND being as comfortable as getting married with her.

    Finally something Josh and I agree on.

    @rem –

    @Cuc
    I never said “untested”, but as a woman you cannot resist putting words in my mouth.

    Lol liar. You never mention one thing about testing every time you bring up pushing unprotected sex on all of these women you sleep with. Ewww I hope no one goes near you with a ten foot pole. Also if you’re using a program to blur your face you may need an upgrade and fast!

  382. Anonymous says:

    Hello Everyone

  383. Musical Lover says:

    I am a real SB, not salty at all, I had some successful arrangements here but I also met a lot of spammers.
    One of the “potential SD” actually took me so much time and energy, we met for one time and it seems that he looks for a girlfriend (he is married!!!) not a SB, so I told him directly I need a SD not bf that is why I m here. If he doesnt want to be my SD, we should go on our separate ways. When he replied, he was not responding to the key points and just telling me about his life! I am very annoyed to receive several emails from him everyday. Maybe I should pretend to be a Bitter-Baby to scare him off…

  384. rembodler says:

    @Cuc
    I never said “untested”, but as a woman you cannot resist putting words in my mouth.

  385. Josh says:

    I wouldn’t go bareback unless I have vasectomy with repeated testing AND after being with someone for a long time AND being as comfortable as getting married with her.

  386. Jaybird923 says:

    @Remmy low blow

  387. Karen says:

    Only unprotected condom-less things should be put in ur mouth. My mistake.

  388. CucumberOnLids says:

    @rem

    Cool story bro pops.. it needs more dragons! Aww you’re mad poor thing trying to push young women into unprotected sex without testing. Keep it up you will not have to come clean to your wife because the headlines will:)

  389. rembodler says:

    @Cuc
    Lol at Cuc who is salivating to get infected and get to ride a gravy train into the sunset…

  390. CucumberOnLids says:

    Congrats gtt-envy! Wish you happiness with your SO!. Now that’s a success story right there. *Print* lol:)

  391. Karen says:

    Autocorrect mistake sorry meant {proclivity}

  392. rembodler says:

    @Karen
    I never said to do it with “a man who just met you”
    But as women always do, you put your words in my mouth.

  393. gtt_envy says:

    I’m one of those unprotected advocates, but I pay for a 10 panel test for them and show them results from mine.

    The issue for me is I would rather go whacky off then have protected sex. It laborious and takes literally forever to get off like kissing through Saran wrap. You feel pressure, but no warmth, wetness, or texture…….sucks sucks sucks.

    As Josh always said “You are a idiot for partaking in sugar if you have a good relationship!!”

    Finally after many years and many memories I am done. I didn’t catch anything and looking back now I regret some of it.

    Sugar solidified in me that sex is sex just a different package. While I do miss those tight bodies and tighter vaginas the emotionally bond and good sex with my LTR partner is superior. (For me)

    Happy sugaring to all be safe and have fun!!

  394. MissLady says:

    @cryptic never understood when guys who’ve had a vasectomy would say the same thing. That’s not the only issue

  395. cryptic anomaly says:

    @Rem – Totally agree, sorry if I was vague about that! If it’s not on, then it’s not on. The risk is too great.

    I knew a woman once who didn’t care about condom usage as she couldn’t get pregnant. That’s great and all but she wasn’t thinking about everything else she could catch and pass on.

  396. CucumberOnLids says:

    Wow could you imagine “restitution payments?” Ha! Wouldn’t that be funny if you were getting an allowance for the rest of your life but instead of it being 1k it’s 10k a month? Not to mention the man ends up getting divorced? Kids taken away because he’s now considered a sex offender? Ohhoh wait his wife takes a bite out of his pay? Go ahead! Play with the young lives of others and watch yours crumble to dust! Dirty behavior=Dirty results.

    I can’t wait to see those headlines. 19 year old SB sues 54 year old SD for demanding unprotected sex and knowingly infected her with X. SB sues for 1.8 million and wins, “college paid off” SD now divorced and on the sexual offender list. Sees children through metal bars. He is now dating “Mike his cellmate”.

    LMAO!

    Why do you think two men disclosed their status to me? They aren’t stupid and know if they told me ahead of time and I get it then that’s all on me. I can’t cry “sexual predator”. Point is not every SD is going to do this. Most will lie as being cut of from sexual options for a man is like cutting his penis off. It’s just not an option. Point is you’re not leaving the lie or the truth up to him, you’re protecting yourself as best as possible.

    Ask for testing and require the testing to be done in your presence. Watch how many will not respond back, will state ooh I did that already, ohh I’m clean or use other evasive tactics even questioning you” why do you have something?”. All this is to thwart you from your own safety and worse insult your intelligence. Why say you want highly intelligent women and then demand they do something stupid.

    One SD said ooh protective sex? Deal Breaker. I said umm unprotected sex isn’t a “deal” at all. Good luck.

    I can’t stress the importance of this discussion enough. Ohh and no one should try to jump in with the “we’re all adults here and…” NO. Try acting like a decent human being.

  397. Karen says:

    I am not scared but do not think it wise for people to promote not using condoms or that the advantage or benefit of sb’s is their proficiency to go sans condom. If that is the only reason that a man is on SA versus backpage then he is here for the wrong reasons. That isn’t the case and feel pretty confident that a man who just met you and insists on a no condom rule is scary and agree with cryptic anomaly on that.

    How do I choose electrical appliance u ask? Well I pick the one that sets itself apart from the others of course. I have a vibrator that is waterproof and I made sure it will be cordless for our rendezvous! Wish me luck!

  398. rembodler says:

    @cryptic
    Never ever do it barely with the SB you barely know….

  399. cryptic anomaly says:

    A frog! The one in the red reminds me of a frog, I knew it was something odd about her.

  400. cryptic anomaly says:

    I would be very wary of a SB or any woman I barely know telling me that condom’s weren’t required. It kind of suggests she has little to lose in the swapping of body fluids and that is scary.

  401. rembodler says:

    @Karen
    U are absolutely right, condoms reduce the risk, but do not afford full protection from the STDs.
    So, if u are so scared, maybe try abstinence? Write on this blog, watch a movie. Just be careful with the electrical appliances…

  402. CucumberOnLids says:

    @anon
    Cuc is obviously an escort. Whatever she says, take that into consideration.

    Anon he’s a John I’m not an escort. Notice it says “no escorts” but it doesn’t say “no johns”. Johns run the gambit here so are you going to listen to the guy that talks about the sex he has with a string of 20 year olds while he cheats and lies to his wife every single time? Or talk to listen to a woman that’s seeking to save your life when that SD is long gone with the next string of 20 year olds? Go and look at the reviews of the site and see how many reports of ” my SD gave me X STD” you find. Go ahead look for yourself.

    Go ahead of and google “My sugar daddy gave me ” and see how fast google autopopulates a STD of choice and then run down that list.

    I practice protective sex whether I’m in a regular relationship or sugar one. BC has given me nasty side affects so I haven’t been on BC but then again I’m not sexually active at this time as I’ve only had one SD. I’m trying to actually enjoy my life not let someone change my choices in life forever. This is supposed to be fun not death defying.

    If the same SD contacts every SB for unprotected sex when do you think that will catch up to him? At some point someone is going to walk away with something. It’s statistically impossible to have unprotected sex with so many people and not catch something.

    I’m super passionate about this yes. I think it’s horrible that a bunch of nasty men are running around pushing their infections on the younger population. This is the reason STDs don’t just die off. All this does is creates new and stronger strains of infections diseases that could someday wipe us all out.

    Did anyone see that story of one guy that infected 300 people with HIV? He’s not even remotely attractive! It’s like how did 300 people sleep with him? He gave it to both men and women which for all we know just his connections he may have infected over 200K people before he was caught. Yes he knew he had It and didn’t care.

  403. Jaybird923 says:

    Except for the part about the amount of allowance being a potential determining factor of whether and SD will be exclusive or not she’s given some good advice and provided some useful info.

  404. Karen says:

    Hmm, so by offering unprotected sex an SB is then set apart from the escort crowd. Hear that girls? Who knew? That’s pretty funny right there! Tear those raincoats off and set yourself apart.

    Btw, it only takes ONE person to catch something. I knew a girl who got pregnant her first time having sex as well as another girl who got herpes from her second boyfriend with whom she lost her virginity to, and these were very young people who had not had any previous or many sexual partners. Doesn’t that suck? And
    yeah, it must not be that uncommon if I have known examples like that.

    You can catch herpes with condoms, btw. And, when someone is not showing any symptoms since many people are carriers but never show syptoms. Yeah, my aunt is a gynocologist and told me some scary truths long ago. I would think and hope that both people would ease into unprotected sex by not just saying, but SHOWING they are committed and in for the long term, then get tested first if they did decide to move forward.

    Being cautious and smart about safe sex does not make you an escort or mentality of one? it makes you safer bc I have friends who want their potential boyfriends tested as well before they have sex. It is a smart thing to do if you are considering it. And if the man is married he should value his wife and family like cucumberOnLids said.

  405. MissLady says:

    Um guess you’re kinda passionate about this subject cucumber…..

  406. rembodler says:

    @anon
    Cuc is obviously an escort. Whatever she says, take that into consideration.

  407. CucumberOnLids says:

    Ohh and anon don’t get caught on the bullying ” if you don’t do this you’re an escort” nonsense. You’re trying to protect yourself and live a happy healthy life when that SD is long gone or in the grave. My last SD made me feel safe and protected as he brought several different types of condoms at my request. Since I hadn’t had sex in awhile the only condoms I’ve ever bought were for toys. It was also my first time trying female condoms so I was super excited as it appears you can’t pick them up at a local drugstore but they provide the most protection.

  408. CucumberOnLids says:

    Remember anon if your allowance being offered is common then the same SD can offer that to a dozen other women which in general means they can “get around quite a bit”. How many women is this man sleeping with unprotected and when does that mean danger for you? Since you’re less likely to get he truth about that I say do the testing together and pick up the results together. There are men here that see several women at the same time and those women may see several men. At some point someone may get caught and infect the entire group. This is really how STD/STIs spread like wildfire. One person’s dishonesty can shorten the life of millions.

  409. Joey says:

    @OnlineNewbieSD,

    How do you check in so they don’t know a tryst is happening? Certainly if you check in at 2pm and check out at 9pm they can figure it out.

    What kind of problems are you thinking of?

  410. CucumberOnLids says:

    Also testing I would suggest going together as this avoids fake results being doctored up by someone that’s tech savvy. I remember years ago on the blog an escort (yes she was open about being a provider but had a desire to sugar date) She had 4 pots test 3 came up with either Herpes I (more common) and Herpes (2). Only 1 was actually “clean”. I’ve had pots say they’re clean but I told them ooh no I’m not going to take your word for it let’s test together=silence.

    I just want you to know that it’s possible that he may get upset. If he does then you’ll know why.

  411. rembodler says:

    @anon
    By offering unprotected sex u set yourself apart from the escort crowd. Escort sees many people and many times just once, so she has little recourse to protect herself from stds and offering unprotected sex will be insane. On the other hand, your sugar relationship should be a lot more safe (both from the std and long-term perspective).
    If u r comfortable with it, do it. This is your trump card, use it, but only use it wisely.

  412. CucumberOnLids says:

    Hmm the old unprotected sex ploy? Yeah well I’ve been contacted by two SDs with Herpes so not sure if you’re open to taking that risk. Ask for testing and if they refuse then I guess you’ll know your answer. I also read the blog where a SB got HIV from here daddy. Again I say wear a condom. Right now if you catch an STD from someone that knowingly omits this truth and infects you it’s considered a crime.

    If you are convicted of knowingly transmitting an STD, you face a number of potentially very serious criminal penalties. State laws categorize this crime as either a felony or misdemeanor offense, and the potential penalties differ significantly depending on the state where it occurs. Regardless of the state, all criminal sentences involve the same potential types of penalties.

    Jail or prison. A misdemeanor conviction for transmission of an STD can result in a sentence of up to one year in jail, while a felony conviction has a maximum penalty of a year or more in prison. Potential prison sentences for this crime differ significantly, and while some states impose a potential maximum sentence of up to one year in jail for the transmission of any STD, other states allow for as much as a life sentence in prison where a person knowingly transmits HIV.
    Fines. You can also be fined if you are convicted of either a felony or misdemeanor transmission of an STD crime. Misdemeanor fines are typically up to $1,000. Like jail sentences, however, state differences are extreme, with possible felony fines going as high as $50,000.
    Restitution. Restitution payments can also be made a part of transmission of an STD sentence. Restitution payments go towards any victims to compensate them for the losses they have incurred, and can differ widely among cases. Restitution must be paid in addition to any fines imposed by the court.
    Probation. In addition to, or instead of, a jail or prison sentence, courts can also sentence someone convicted of unlawful transmission of an STD to a probation term. Probation usually lasts one to three years, though longer terms are possible. Those on probation must comply with the court’s probation conditions. These conditions can differ between cases, but commonly include regularly reporting to a probation officer, paying all required fines and restitution, submitting to random home searches, not breaking any more laws, and not leaving the jurisdiction without first obtaining permission from the probation officer or the court.
    Sex offender registration. Someone convicted of the criminal transmission of an STD will also have to sign up for the state’s sex offender registry. Sex offender registration requirements differ by state, but someone on the sex offender registration list can remain there for 25 years or longer. Registrants have a difficult if not impossible time obtaining housing and work–in many ways, registration is the worst possible sentence.
    _____________________________________________________________________________

    So message him and ask if he knows he has any incurable STDS / STIs if says NO but it’s a lie and you catch something well he could face prison time.

    Honestly if an infected SD is really that dumb as to put his entire life, wife, children, business on the line for some unprotected nookie then I hope the sex is worth it. Ohh well.

  413. Jaybird923 says:

    It’s a quiet day in the neighborhood. After all the drama of the past two days I guess everyone needs some time to recover

  414. FlyR says:

    @anon. The politically correct gang have redefined “protected sex” to be something that ignores behavioral risk factors , treating serious vd as if it is randomly distributed ….the PC gang has intimidated the press into not publishing behavioral characteristics associated with vd.

    I assume you are on the pill because you have unprotected sex . The married sd who is exclusive is about as low a risk as you can find assuming he is not bi-sexual, drug user or has wife who is a drug user ,

    It sounds like you have not met Personal feeling is that you need to do that before pushing the discussions along.

  415. MissLady says:

    Lol I missed that demanding part! Let me go write up my list of demands

  416. Jaybird923 says:

    @Goodboy lol Of course not my mistake

  417. FlyBoy says:

    Who me? Never .. lol #GoodBoy

    Cheers :)

  418. Jaybird923 says:

    @Flyboy stirring the pot bright and early today are we :)

  419. Jaybird923 says:

    @anonymous No it is not a red flag in fact it is a very common request. If you truly have no problem with it and he agrees to the mutual testing go for it. But If you a little unsure discuss it further. Since he’s such a direct person this should not be an issue.

  420. FlyBoy says:

    The article is dog shit written by a loser!

    “Sugar babies … are constantly demanding”

    Constantly demanding?!!! Who does that remind you of? lol

    Cheers :)

  421. anonymous says:

    I need some help. I am talking to a pot SD and he wants something long-term and I am okay with that, but has said that the reason is b/c he doesn’t want to have to use a condom. We have gotten to this point in the conversation via messaging, as he is very direct (I actually appreciate his candor, it’s refreshing after some of the drawn-out conversations I’ve had w/other pot SDs that led to nowhere) Should I consider this a red flag? I told him I would expect that we both get tested and share the results. He is in his early 40s and married, and I have not asked if he has had a vasectomy. I am on birth control.

  422. flyR says:

    @jaybird ”
    I keep getting contacted by couples. This is the third one this week. My profile say looking for one man, maybe I should add not interested in ladies.” I think it is a pretty common issue judging from the number of profiles which state they are not interested.

  423. flyR says:

    @goddess “flyR in my mind it’s a difference between trying to make sure the person you”re seen with looks nice. So you dress them up in what will make them shine brightest while on your arm (still benefiting SD)”

    Perhaps it is just my reaction to the array of intellectually and morally vacuous people whose sense of self worth and the worth of the people around them is primarily dependent on what they wear, carry or have in the closet and having similar folks around them.

    I enjoy shopping for things which my sb will appreciate and look great in, but it’s just a small part of the overall relationship. Her goals are finishing her undergrad and getting her business up and running at the same time.

  424. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Joey – be careful how you check in at the hotel…there could be some complications if they smell an illicit tryst…

  425. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @ATL – No calf job…I’m more an aficionado than a participant as far as calves are concerned…

  426. THEATLSD says:

    @joey

    Hotels don’t care as long as they get their money. Most hotels have automatic check out so you just leave.

    As far as money. She needs to reign it in and not go crazy. Like the members of the Mafia. They make a big heist but have to sit on the money. Sitting on the money for a young SB is near impossible.

  427. Promise says:

    Also it’s Spring.

  428. Promise says:

    @ATL You’re Welcome. Thanks for the light bulb joke from before as well.

  429. Joey says:

    Re young sugar babe living with parents, how do you pay her? If she suddenly starts spending money her parents will probably notice.

    Any other issues?

    Do hotels start objecting if you are checking in at 1pm and leaving at 10pm?

  430. Joey says:

    @Josh,

    I am lucky enough to live in a country where the drinking age is 18 and underage drinking is generally ignored, so there is no significant market for fake IDs. I plan to card her on first meet, just in case, but I have not told her that so she has no incentive to get a fake ID from a friend. So I think that risk is manageable.

    I’m more wondering about drama.

  431. Josh says:

    @Joey

    I have. It’s usually bad news.

    The reason she wants to hide it is because she’s dependent on them and wants to get two gravy trains going.

    Now if the parent/s is/are mean ass types then you may be ok if/when the find out. However, if they turn out to be over-protective AND if she’s under-age working with fake ID, then you may find yourself in jail in no time.

    Therefore nexting her is advised unless you are 1000% sure that she’s legal age and you know her parents’ type.

  432. Joey says:

    Does anyone here have any experience dating a young SB who lives with her parents and needs to keep her activities secret? Any thoughts?

  433. Kane92 says:

    I wonder , is it good to look at people that live thousands of miles away opposed to 250 ?

  434. Jaybird923 says:

    I keep getting contacted by couples. This is the third one this week. My profile say looking for one man, maybe I should add not interested in ladies.

  435. THEATLSD says:

    @Promise
    “Is it really hot anywhere else?”

    It is summer. And Thanks for that stellar contribution to the blog.

  436. THEATLSD says:

    @ONSD
    “@Jay – there’s NOTHING wrong with pencil skirts and kitten heels…I’m not the shoe guy like @ATL, I’m a calf guy though…heels that accentuate a woman’s calf muscle…damn…”

    Bro have you ever had a “calf job”??

  437. StruggleIsReal says:

    Thank you SA for taking the other view and giving some merit to it, as it does deserve. Nice article.

  438. Promise says:

    Is it really hot anywhere else?

  439. Ms. Temptation says:

    @online
    you have mail

    Just checking in

  440. Goddess says:

    flyR in my mind it’s a difference between trying to make sure the person you”re seen with looks nice. So you dress them up in what will make them shine brightest while on your arm (still benefiting SD) vs someone willing to invest in school/business pursuits (benefiting SB). One is supportive, the other just wants to have fun. Neither is wrong but they are quite different.

  441. flyR says:

    Goddess and Charlotte – There are those who think that someone who is not up on the very latest gucci , versache et is hopelessly hick It is a matter of being with someone who adds something to your life which is missing and which you value.

    I have known a couple of SDs or keepers of mistresses for whom the greatest turnon was that they were the young women they had hoped their daughter would be. There’s also the SD wanting to date the woman who would not date him in high school or college because he was too nerdy or too insecure to ask.

  442. Charlotte says:

    @Goddess,

    Boredom is a relative concept. I really enjoy reading classics or Umberto Eco while many and a many find them ” über-boring” and out of date.

    Don’t let negavity get to you.

  443. Goddess says:

    Yea flyR, I mean, I’m OK if I grow my business steadily but being able to invest twice as much would be cool. So either way I’m fine right now ergo the semi retirement from seeking.
    I just noticed where Josh called me uninteresting/boring or whatever, LOL! Seriously? I tie boys up and I’m boring, bahaha. K. :)

  444. flyR says:

    @ Goddess and others – There are those men who respond to the “take me, buy me and I’ll blow your brains out approach and others more comfortable with the idea of helping a friend move towards her goals where her friendship includes intimate times as she makes his life much more fun.

    @online – I am concerned about the high rate of no shows although that may come with many of the younger SB. Not surprisingly those who are more serious about their studies and work are usually the more reliable.

    One of the other problems with the dinner at a fancy place is that it seems the nicer the place the greater the probability the people at the next table will seem to be following the conversation.

    I’m also a fan of art museums as there’s usually a some good food and wine and the ability to find a private place to talk and walk. Getty Villa in Malibu is awesome but requires reservations ( the good side is that the SD’s wife cannot follow you. If there is a Rodin exhibit you can compare notes.

  445. Goddess says:

    Been in a conference call for four hours, le sigh. @Kane you just have to find a workout you like and stick with it. Consistence is the most important thing, I just happen to like being strong, hehe. Being fit is more about feeling good vs looking a certain way. I think you look great. You can probably reach your goals doing 10 mins a day (5 days a week)of a workout. people do workouts they hate for way too long and it turns them off. I see you like to swim, that should be a good one. :)

  446. Jaybird923 says:

    @Online I do that because I remember what it was like for me when I was in college. Going on interviews, waiting for the call that never comes, having to call them every other day to find out if they made a decision.

    So when the shoe was on the other foot, I always remembered how I felt and make sure I don’t do that to other people. That’s why if I know I’m not going to hire them I give them a specific date so they can have closure.

  447. Goddess says:

    Hmmm ONSD, roger that. Part of why I’m taking things very slow with him is his clear reluctance for sugar. He has an office in the best part of town and he travels every month to some exotic place (spent half of last year in Italy and the Caribbean) so I think for the most part he is doing OK. I just think he’s so work obsessed he hardly ever “cuts loose” like some of the SDs on here. Mr Rule maker vs Mr Rule Breaker so to speak. He also owns some of the bigger toys himself. He’s actually hot so it’s kind of funny he’s a bit boring outside of travel. Friend zoned for now but interest is still there for us both. I have dropped hints and he’s done little things here and there but yea, I miss the wining and dining of a sugar relationship where money is no object.

  448. Kane92 says:

    @goddess i was just going to imply do you run or do some crazy strenuous work out , im trying to get back right , I am currently 130 right now and Im 5’3 >_>.. I use to be 125 with a healthy BMI , too much sugar lol and thanks honeybun (gluten free) in your case LOL.

  449. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Jay – good policy to give them a cursory couple of questions…also probably good to leave it at “if you don’t hear from me” so you don’t have to waste time, energy or stamps on refection letters!

  450. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Promise – they’re looking at the spot the cameraman told them to 😉 Probably a light stand or a piece of paper or a grip’s hand…

  451. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Goddess – it is a difficult thing to convert someone who has no history in sugar into sugar…it would be totally different if you found a way to mention benefactor (or even sugar daddy in a VERY jocular context) and he said something about a history in the bowl.

    If he jets to exotic places, it’s very easy to drop hints at a desire to see them, or to appear to jokingly ask if he ever gets to take a friend…but you have to tread a bit lightly…

    Also, the brokers of bigger toys can’t always afford the big toys themselves, so be careful with a yacht broker, he might be struggling and frugal for a different reason than you expect 😉

  452. Goddess says:

    Haha thanks Kane babe, love yours too and you have very nice lips. I do workout hardcore actually and known for legpressing 2×6 of 450 lbs and 2×6 of 500 lbs. So yea, 14% bodyfat or so but tall and svelte. Most people think I’m a runner. :)

  453. Promise says:

    I wonder what the girls in the picture are looking at.

  454. Kane92 says:

    @goddess : your body is killer just a little 2 cents .i have a friend who works out so when i saw yours i know you dont play games outdoors lo

  455. Goddess says:

    Wow ONSD, a couple of drunkards, sounds like a nightmare. With all these horror stories I’m kind of wondering if there’s anyway to easily convert normal joe to SD. Yacht broker is frugal even with himself, and he’s flying to Spain this weekend while I’m stuck here working. My only major complaint. For me, I feel like most days I rather work than talk to him because he’s not a tangible part of my life/helping in any way. We’re not even intimate (yet). Makes sense?

  456. Kane92 says:

    @MissLady I think im still young enough to apply for mentorship as if i dont already have it at my internship lol.

  457. Kane92 says:

    @online I will continue to be positive and take emotion out of every conversation lol i think its a cancer thing..(zodiac), its irony that it seems im focusing on negative when im a sweetheart who has let people get the best of me sometimes..

  458. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Kane – I agree with @Miss – Student told me she was reading blogs and books to feel better about sugar when we started…it’s a bit scary to me, because most books are (IMO) high-end escorts or the tumblr-type writing them…a REAL SB is too discreet (again, IMO)…

    Okay, off to get some work done…hope to get back online soon!

  459. Jaybird923 says:

    @Lady That’s the way it is now. You should see what some people show up to interviews wearing. I’m usually stunned. I keep the interview to 2 questions and tell them I have many others to interview and if they don’t here from me by the end of the day they didn’t get the job.

  460. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Miss – yeah, I agree…I had said to the hoochie to “make sure you dress professionally, since this was a restaurant where business often takes place”

    That taught me to use the other three scenarios…mentor, interview, business meeting…but I’m still a little weary about saying business meeting because if she’s a pro “business” is not what I want her to be thinking at a BUSINESS spot!

  461. MissLady says:

    @kane even with reading a book or blog you still get blindsided lol. Welcome

  462. Jaybird923 says:

    so many 4″ comments I could make…so many…

    @Online Feel free to do so

  463. MissLady says:

    @jay If it’s not at least 4 inches high they are just shoes please don’t call them heels.

    Preach

    @online, I still find it amazing about how we’ve gone away from dressing appropriately for an occasion, it’s all about ‘dressing to express myself’

  464. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Jay – so many 4″ comments I could make…so many… 😉

  465. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    HOLY SHIT – the guy in the office next to mine is snoring so loud I can hear him over my radio!

  466. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Kane – I’m sorry…you are new…I should have added you to the start of the message, but I was scrolling and only remembered @Jay because she’s been here a while…you’ll find, I’m not that way…no code…just sometimes a short period of time to respond 😉

    I like your input…you haven’t been dwelling on the negative…keep positive and you’ll be a welcome addition to our bloggie-family 😉

  467. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Jay – I got that…

  468. Jaybird923 says:

    @Kane No problem It was such a ridiculous request that I didn’t think you would take me seriously. I need to come up for a symbol for sarcasm :)

  469. Kane92 says:

    @Jaybird923 sarcasm is in blogs i realize this , it didnt come off that way since i was discussing something that bothered me , yet you asked where I met him from , only to ask why i didnt audition -i thought the conversation was still serious my bad.

    @online I read everyones post so it paralled with what I was talking about , and sometimes people speak in code ,indirectly having being on other blogs people people get shady.no harm taken. your SB was one of a kind , the best SD i had loved to relive the moments buy watching us on video he was married also so he just wanted a momentum…

    I honestly didnt come here to ridicule anyone just look for insight and discuss future or past journeys , as i said before no one just jumps into this lifestyle knowing everything unless you read a book…or blog…:)

  470. Jaybird923 says:

    @Online If it’s not at least 4 inches high they are just shoes please don’t call them heels. lol I’m going to let ATL pick my next pair I want to see what he finds sexy.

  471. Jaybird923 says:

    @Online Oh, But I wasn’t talking about lunch .. unless lunch is slang for something else 😉

  472. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Jay – there’s NOTHING wrong with pencil skirts and kitten heels…I’m not the shoe guy like @ATL, I’m a calf guy though…heels that accentuate a woman’s calf muscle…damn…

  473. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Jay – I appreciate that…if you’re in touch with @SexyRockstar, ask her if she thought I was fun at lunch…

  474. Jaybird923 says:

    Goddess aka Einstein how ever did you figure out where I lived. I wonder where DowntownLASD lives??!?

    @ATL first very funny It was to easy for me so I left it alone. And second I’m a classy broad only pencil skirts, lace and pearls

  475. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Jay – to get back to “not working” it was the original pot that was making a scene…her friend (the one I was interested in) was trying to keep things calm and amicable…THAT’s the OTHER reason I stayed…I still held out the hope she would see me being nice to her drunk-at-noon-ass-friend and continue to talk to me…it was only after the bill came and I saw she was playing the same game at the bar that I was done with her…

  476. Jaybird923 says:

    @Online You’re so “adventurous” .. Keke was right you would be lots of fun lol

  477. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @ATL – the hoochie skirt is fine if we’re IN an arrangement, and the meet is somewhere that type of wardrobe would be acceptable (like meeting at a hotel or a seedy little dive bar near the hotel)…just not at a “downtown” restaurant where it is common to close million dollar deals on a cocktail napkin!

  478. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Miss – that’s the point though…if someone doesn’t understand what I mean when I say, “mentor meeting” or “business meeting” or “interview” she isn’t going to mix where I could meet her somewhere for anything else…and if I can have a coffee ordered in a to-go cup, it makes it very easy to part company early and explain away the incident!

  479. THEATLSD says:

    @ONSD
    ” platform heels, hoochie skirt and tube top…”
    No hoochie scoochie mommas for ONSD You hear tha Jay???

    @Goddess aka Einstein how ever did you figure out where I lived. I wonder where DowntownLASD lives??!?

  480. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Jay – yes…they were already borderline making a scene, I was VERY worried about what might happen if I got up to take care of the bill and leave…I didn’t even go to the restroom once I arrived (and I had been on the road for an hour, had a beer and an iced tea and a water during the meal)…

  481. MissLady says:

    Lol @ the prom dress! Next time just send a pic collage of acceptable attire lol

  482. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Kane – if you’re addressing MY comments, you could always “@” me…I wasn’t talking to you or about you when I told @Jay about why someone might ask for something “weird” in a picture…it was neither referencing you nor addressing you…and if you think that I was ignoring you, I wasn’t even doing that…I was just finishing my comments before telling you that guy was a douchebag for asking for something like that…a better picture request to prove “real” is something like putting your right hand on your left ear and sticking your tongue out…

    but, you’re right, it’s easier if you can skype/facetime/videochat with someone…but I don’t do that…I rarely text…I will do outside email with someone before we meet, so that there’s not a risk of a delay as we try to connect at the first meet. AFTER the first meet, if I think we’re heading toward something more…that’s when I’d give you my sugar text…that’s when I MIGHT do skype or something video…

    But, I’m married, so very little happens for pics/vid with me…and if it does, I’m in COMPLETE CONTROL of it!

    I had a SB who liked pictures of her and us together sexually (she REALLY liked to watch)…EVERY video was with MY camera/phone/computer…she could watch it when she was with me, but she couldn’t access it without me…I’m not going to open myself up to being recorded through Skype or something else and give up control of the interactions…

  483. Jaybird923 says:

    @Kane lol Don’t get riled up we’re being sarcastic. Take a deep breath no one expects you to shove things down your throat to prove yourself.

  484. Kane92 says:

    @jay that audition never existed in my book , there was no need to compromise that type of question that told me everything i needed to know, and the fact that i didnt have a damn banana , the amount he offered didnt meet my needs , for him to retaliate shows he was : A) Being comical b) Being a comical Pervert c)Being a comical bastard. ” just my opinion “

  485. Kane92 says:

    @jay that audition never exisited in my book , there was no need to compromise that type of question that told me everything i needed to know, and the fact that i didnt have a damn banana , the amount he offered didnt meet my needs , for him to retaliate shows he was :

  486. Jaybird923 says:

    @Online ok that makes more sense. But when you realized it wouldn’t work why didn’t you end it earlier? To avoid a scene?

  487. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Miss – I completely agree…and to the person that said the married SD was all skittish at a public meet…think about what you were wearing and how it would be viewed by the surroundings!

    I have a job where I can be seen in public with anyone and have work explain it away pretty easily…what I could NOT explain away is someone showing up in platform heels, hoochie skirt and tube top…

    Now I tell pots that everyone else should believe we are meeting for an interview, a business meeting or as a mentor meeting…

    I did have one co-ed show up in what was a borderline prom dress…for coffee…

  488. Kane92 says:

    and the beat goes on….my profile clearly states that i am open to FACETIME, Video chatting , if his ass didn’t have video chatting that sounds like a personal issue that i will not sub come too by shoving something down my throat , hell i will even record a video of me talking or something other than a sick retarded picture just bc he was horny.

    facts since im still not being “@” directly addressed.

  489. Jaybird923 says:

    @Kane Why were you defensive? He just wanted to make sure you would be able to meet his needs. It was simply an audition.

  490. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Jay – I almost did…but it was the friend I was interested in, not her, so I actually thought the two of them together might let me connect with the friend and move her toward an arrangement…oh, and there is still SA activity with at least one of them!

  491. MissLady says:

    See @onsd that’s what I want to avoid, that while feeling of being trapped lol!

  492. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Jay – asking for a “weird” picture is a way to validate a “real” person…if you ask for pics and get the standard face shots, they could still be downloads or fakes, so asking for her to do something specific shows how “real” she is…if she can do it in a timely fashion (but not too quick, because that just means you’re fake)…it’s stupid…

  493. Jaybird923 says:

    @Online As soon as she asked if her friend could come along I would have canceled the meet.

  494. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    To continue…I found out that when they were going to the “restroom” they were getting shots at the bar and putting it on the table bill…to the tune of 2 each…and they had beers after the second mixed drink…neither of them ate their meals or asked for boxes to take them home…it was HORRIBLE!

  495. Kane92 says:

    @Jay -blushes- lmaooooo girllll , met a guy, says he commutes in the area…blah blah..we start texting and he’s like send me a pic …send him face pics ..he goes ” i’d love to cum on those lips ” “take a pic of a banana going down your throat ” of course i got defensive ” you’re sick” …blocked..hell no

  496. MissLady says:

    Ok I was just curious cause I keep seeing it mentioned that he likes you more if he offers dinner, or he’s not serious if it’s just coffee. My thing had always been that sometimes it’s hard to translate that online chemistry to real world and it could make for a long awkward dinner For a first meet.

  497. Kane92 says:

    @all I love a caramel ribbon crunch frap , or seasonal creme brulee latte with commercial cake pop*yum* ive always been asked coffee or lunch , I should probably start saying coffee so I dont come off as bratty..

  498. Jaybird923 says:

    @Kane Where do you guys find these men “take a picture with a banana down your throat” LMAO

  499. MissLady says:

    Thank you hot, I always do!

  500. hototrot1 says:

    I think the issue with the TUMBLR types is that they’re not really in dating mode, but Sugar is a form of “dating”. That’s why they come off so escortish. If you’re an escort, be an escort. If you’re looking for a long term romance with $$ as bonus, then carry on with sugar.

  501. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Miss – I prefer coffee because I’ve been disappointed too many times when the first meet was scheduled as lunch or drinks after work…I also prefer to make it morning coffee, for some reason if a woman can get herself to a 8am or 9am coffee meet, she’s much more likely to make it to any subsequent meets…if she can’t get up and around for a 8am or 9am coffee meet, she’s probably going to flake out on anything else we plan (IMHO)…

    I’ve been stood up for 80% of my lunch/drink first meets…only about 60% of the coffee meets…and by stood up, I include the cancellation within hours of the meet, the poof prior confirmation message, and those with the gumption to actually confirm their intent to be there, then vanish for the actual meet (and they’re STILL on site looking)…from those who actually show up, 80% had misleading profiles (which means we’re down to about 4% of original pots I’ve communicated with) for the lunch/drinks and about 50% (meaning 20% of the original pots I’ve communicated with) for coffee meets…Coffee has produced more ACTUAL pots than lunch/drinks!

    Oh, and let’s not forget my HORROR story of the pot SB that scheduled lunch with me (recommending a top-tier and IMO inappropriate restaurant for a sugar meet)…then, while on my way there, sent me messages asking if her friend (another pot I had talked to on SA) could join us so that both of them could meet me and save everyone some time getting to know each other…I gave her/them the same concept that this was a NO EXPECTATION meeting, got them to agree to a much more appropriate venue, and was delayed by unexpected traffic (I was traveling nearly an hour to meet them)…when I got there, they both had mixed drinks and an appetizer…when server arrived, I ordered a beer (primarily to feel comfortable myself with the mixed drinks already flowing)…and we each ordered lunch (me from the actual lunch menu, the two of them from the dinner menu)…they each ordered another mixed drink while we waited for food and pushed me to buy a round of shots…as I told them that was inappropriate they began to hint that the two of them were looking to make sure “daddy” would be taken care of since they were such good friends…each one left the table to use the restroom (and to smoke I guess because each time they came back I could smell the smoke on them)…they continued to pressure me for a second beer and it took EVERYTHING I could muster to not just walk out RIGHT THEN…I declined…finished my lunch and as the bill came, the originally scheduled pot started talking about how much she needed gas in her truck, that she didn’t think she could even get home, that they both had it so rough they needed someone like me to help them get everything under control…when the bill go there, the DRINK TAB ALONE was twice what I would expect for an ENTIRE MEAL BILL at the establishment!

    When I was done with paying and left, I sat in my car and sent both of them a message…if they were looking for a SD, they would have to change the way they worked…and if I had met them at the originally recommended spot it would have been just as embarrassing as the “professional” hooker outfit at another lunch!

    Coffee is much better than a meal for a first meet…not a significant time commitment and less chance of a public display!

  502. cryptic anomaly says:

    For me a simple coffee or drink is symbolic for lack of a better word. A sign that she isn’t in this purely for the money or the money that will be spent on her, that she is interested in getting to know me and is happy to do that over a $3 coffee etc. Whereas a woman who expects the expensive dinner date first off doesn’t have an attitude that appeals to me at all and we won’t relate well to one another.

  503. Kane92 says:

    @hot I understand that aspect..and i could see that happening as followed ..good ideas

  504. Kane92 says:

    @cucumbers Your icon pic looks flawless from me trying to find a needle in a haystack I cant imagine why you would be having so much trouble ? if you’re looking just for money you would be in fact ..an escort.
    but uhh…as far is sugaring your time is the most valuable possesion and sitting and talking to someone for 6 hours should feel like 30 mins if you’re geniunely a SB lol but..its hard to tell what you want ..

  505. hototrot1 says:

    I use to be a dinner ONLY person, because I thought that meant the person had a better intent. But, now Coffee wins. It’s better for both. No wasted time, and if you like them and they like you, you can extend the date to lunch and more. It doesn’t have to be a coffee meet either. I met someone for drinks once. That was nice as well. Better even.

  506. Kane92 says:

    Thank you @cryptic <3333

  507. Kane92 says:

    @MissLady I’ve met for lamb and bourbon on the first meet, had a way better conversation in a dimmed setting ( but thats just me) , vs me meeting the married SD at starbucks , PACKED…and we sure as hell were not about to travel to IHOP for that $24 meal lol… he smiled but i could tell he was completely terrified he was in a open space always looking …like why would you even pic a coffee shop-on a weekday-in the morning LOL…ahhh gotta love this mess.

  508. cryptic anomaly says:

    @ Miss Lady – For me it is a simple coffee for a first and even second meet. It’s a meet and get to know kind of thing no arrangement in place yet. If she doesn’t like the idea of a simple coffee than I know we won’t get along.

    @Kane – Your profile is pretty good actually. It gives me an idea of what you are about and what you are offering as well as what you are looking for. A nice balance of all 3 aspects.

  509. Jaybird923 says:

    @Lady I’m with you I prefer coffee. If it’s not going well easier to end things. A dinner date is awkward with someone you’ve just met if you’ve been talking for a while before hand it’s a little different.

  510. hototrot1 says:

    @Miss Lady

    Language is about nuance, my dear. That’s why certain comediennes are so funny. They capture just the right turn of phrase. If they say something that sounds even a little bit false to the listener in the know, it ceases to be funny. Best to mock what you know.

  511. MissLady says:

    @all, dinner vs coffee, I see that a lot is one supposed to mean/show more intent or something?? Cause I’ve always preferred the first meet to be coffee/drinks

  512. Kane92 says:

    @Jaybird923 I hope so too mama , hell all we can do is hope for these SBs and SDs with not direction or good intention.

    which is why I came to the blog :) reading is fundamental .

  513. Kane92 says:

    @cryptic *pouts* I knowwww , I have had good experiences since then , it for sure made me look at sugaring more carefully…i think my profile suits pretty well , Some SDs message me just to say how detailed I am, but are hesitant to speak , especially the ones in my area (Charlotte ,NC) i get more hits from Chicago, ATL :) , & All parts of DMV

  514. MissLady says:

    Lol ok hot, good for you. I won’t give my background but I will still say its current and close enough.

    Woo pig sooie

  515. hototrot1 says:

    @FlyR

    “If you agree to meet a man in a strange location without having reached an agreement on details don’t be disappointed if it is not what you “expected’.”

    True that.

  516. Jaybird923 says:

    @Kane92 For what it’s worth I respect you for coming on here and owning your part. And appreciate that you’re not making excuses. hopefully some else will learn from your experiences.

  517. flyR says:

    Cucumber and sisters

    You are making this much too complicated.

    Your profile and pictures should create the a vision that a real SD is looking for . What makes you special.

    What are the qualifications to join this paradise
    Real SD interested in long term arrangement ( modify as required)
    Has the resources and intent to provide allowance and helping someone achieve their
    goals makes him happy (if it is just cash for sex the duration is not likely to be long)
    Is sparing in his promises and then over performs

    How do we find out if we are compatible
    email
    talk + text (Skype if you must)
    discuss general parameters of allowance
    discuss other expectations in general
    meet for lunch or coffee confirm compatibility and agreement on details
    progress to consummate agreement either moving venue or followup date

    I think it is foolish to do an elaborate dinner for a first meeting. Way too structured and the probability of it being the right person is low. A casual dinner is ok drinks with appetizers fine.
    The important thing is that until you meet everything is speculation.

    What about an out of town SD who wants to meet you in a strange city …… understand that it comes with higher risk of something really bad , higher risk of broken promises and lower probability of long term. All of those may be acceptable but you need to understand what you are getting yourself into.

    One of the more serious , new SD’s here had no problem with $10K first weekends with women who were treated like a princess but it is the exception not the rule. If you are meeting someone for the first time in a strange place you should have both the resources and attitude to walk away with nothing but a rich learning experience.

    If you agree to meet a man in a strange location without having reached an agreement on details don’t be disappointed if it is not what you “expected’.

  518. cryptic anomaly says:

    @ Kane – There is a lot of game players out there on both sides. I find being really upfront and also taking my time sorts out any SB’s who have made it through the initial profile viewing and messaging stage. Generally speaking anything that sounds too good to be true probably is so cynicism counts but you need to do that in a way that protects you without putting off people who are genuine.

  519. Kane92 says:

    if you dont “@” me I’ll assume you’re not talking to me . good day.

  520. Kane92 says:

    @MissLady ,its just one of those experiences I’ll never really forget , but WILL inform other ladies out there , its men on this site doing crazy suspenseful sht just for their own entertainment and guess what..you get nothing out of it.its crazy..I feel like there should be some type of blog that gears toward SDs/SBs to be black-balled (not literally) but just out there for the memebers to see and AVOID.

    thanks for responses .

  521. hototrot1 says:

    @Miss Lady
    “Hmmm hot, have you been down south?? Cause while I might be a writer who did not know that there was such a thing as ‘standard’ or even ‘so called’ ghetto I have been around both old heads and young cats that have used those phrases….”

    I’m from Kansas, I have family in Oklahoma, Arkansas and Missouri. I went to college in The ATL- Georgia. Most of my friends from back home have southern roots. I great grandmother lived to be 100, died not to long ago. She was a street woman, didn’t obey rules. Suffice to say, I know street language from nearly a century ago lol. I also grew up in the golden age of hip hop and I have younger cousins that speak the current slang. My dad has deep Arkanss roots, sounds a little like Elvis when he speaks. Just lil background on me.

  522. cryptic anomaly says:

    @ Hot – Yep I like to just muck about as well. No shame needed. Love some accents too and local slang terms.

    @ Jay – Mmmm I love the way you mix that sweet innocence with threats of violence. It shows you care and I appreciate that baby.

  523. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Miss – thanks…I do try…but, it sometimes people are just not ready to face the truth!

    @Temptation – check your email…you’re in trouble…we may need to talk about your filtering techniques…

    @Dazed – hey there! hope your absence has meant busy work and sugar?

  524. Kane92 says:

    @jaybird923 well first things first , this was just a REALLY bad experience I had when i first started sugaring , so of course my me not knowing exactly what i wanted i was being more humble to the fact i was getting money and needed it.
    Greyhound isnt that serious when its 3 hour ride , why buy a 400 plane ticket? i guess i was being too convenient and not self-inclined…i have taken a plane with other SDs as i state THIS particular one was newbie . the sex with miss.dekalb county did scorn my trust with future SDs but its all a lesson learned.
    @yougottabekiddingme I know right -__- , dont we all.
    @goddess Girl ,Lesson learned i’ve had far more better experiences with SDs since him, just wanted to share a bad experience which im sure all of us at some point have discussed.

  525. MissLady says:

    Still laughing at the jay planting the bunny visual

  526. Jaybird923 says:

    @Cryptic What kind of person do you take me for? I would never hurt an innocent animal… just you

  527. MissLady says:

    Sorry, might not be a writer

  528. MissLady says:

    Hmmm hot, have you been down south?? Cause while I might be a writer who did not know that there was such a thing as ‘standard’ or even ‘so called’ ghetto I have been around both old heads and young cats that have used those phrases….

  529. hototrot1 says:

    @cryptic

    I always did like the Aussie accent though. Cool slang. I love when I get with some of my friends, all highly educated and we just let it rip with our “urban” speak. Nobody to impress, just having fun. As it should be.

  530. hototrot1 says:

    @Miss Lady

    I have a fine ear for language. I speak both standard and so-called ghetto, urban, what have you. I’m also a writer with a journalism background. Nobody talks like that. They might use some of those words, but not in that manner. That’s like me going to Jamaica and imitating what patois sounds like to me.

  531. cryptic anomaly says:

    @Jay – It turns me on when you get all psycho possessive and jealous. Happy I don’t own a bunny though.

  532. cryptic anomaly says:

    @Miss Lady – Current Lingo. My ghetto spiel? I think I did better than Hot wants to admit. lol

    @Hot – I asked you to the bar for a drink. Coz you’re a bit of alright.

  533. Jaybird923 says:

    @Cryptic very nice save. I had you in the cross-hairs, locked and loaded, ready to shoot. you narrowly escaped :)

  534. MissLady says:

    @onsd, in one eye and out the other, but you can say you tried….

  535. hototrot1 says:

    @cryptic

    Translation?

  536. MissLady says:

    Lol @hot, hate to say it but that could be considered current lingo

  537. cryptic anomaly says:

    @Hot To Trot – Crikey sheila, wanna go down to the watering hole and tie one on with me? Now Aussie I can do real good.

  538. Jaybird923 says:

    @Online I totally understand. After last night I’m done. So far today every time I see her avatar I just scroll pass the post.

  539. hototrot1 says:

    Or I’ll have to break out some bad Crocodile Dundee!

  540. hototrot1 says:

    @cryptic

    Then leave ghetto speak to the ghetto.

  541. cryptic anomaly says:

    @Jay – Nice save huh? 😉 You know you’re my girl xx

  542. cryptic anomaly says:

    @Hot to Trot – lol It was meant to be bad. I have no idea how they speak in the ghettos. I just learned it from television…

  543. hototrot1 says:

    @cryptic

    “@ATL – Yo, Yo, Yo cuz, wassup? What say you we get some o’ deez ladeez in da house and get dis party started?

    Or something one might say in a ghetto.”

    In what universe do people talk like this? You sure you’re 41? Sounds like bad sitcom talk from the 70’s. A decade you were allegedly born in. I like you, but come on…

  544. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Goddess – it is NOT difficult to make good decisions when things are happening…it is ESSENTIAL to make good decisions when things are happening!

    Everything she said about the interaction smelled of him picking her up on craigslist with a “ISO $50 no holla and no questions” ad…

    @Jay – I’ve gotta do it again…and it just pisses me off that I’m being dragged down again, because I’m normally so positive 😉

    @cucumber – HERE is your problem…you’re responding to EVERYONE that messages you (and if you’re not, you’re still responding to WAY TOO MANY people)!!!!! You need a filter honey…I have received a couple dozen messages a week over the last month or so, and while I have sent a message to all but the 6-8 international contacts the message was, “I’m sorry but I’m really looking for something XXX” (could be more local if the drive would be too much for my taste, could be that I changed and said I was in a new arrangement and wanted to see where things would go with it…could be, I’m sorry but I like women younger than me…maybe women lighter than me…maybe no tattoos…maybe no facial piercings…maybe no “entertainers”, “dancers”, “performers”, etc…see my point…probably not, but I’ll make it for those lurkers that think I’m being antagonistic…

    you talk about all these bad experiences…we’ve told you your profile is probably attracting them…haven’t heard a question for a look to help you rework it…we’ve told you you’re to focused on the money, but it sounds like you’re going to keep that…now I’m telling you you’re trying too hard with EVERYONE, you need to focus your efforts on what YOU want, not what “all these guys” keep offering!

    When you get a message…take a moment (maybe 2 minutes) and look at his profile…look at his pictures…if he doesn’t look good to you, doesn’t talk about arrangement in the profile, doesn’t have the box checked, whatever, thank him for his time and MOVE ON…BE PROACTIVE to FIND profiles that talk about what YOU want, have common interests, reach out to them and OFFER SOMETHING, you’ll be surprised about what you might actually be able to find in the sugar bowl…

    NOW

    I’m not sure you’ll be able to keep things very long, until your attitude changes…but…at least you’ll have a positive dinner experience to talk about instead of continuing to bitch about being treated like an escort (because that’s all I’ve seen from you, that’s how I would treat you…and I think there are many on here that would agree I’m one of the more empathetic SDs on blog!)

  545. Jaybird923 says:

    @Cryptic lol smart man

  546. cryptic anomaly says:

    @Jay – All of them and then you and I an run away somewhere. xx

  547. Goddess says:

    it is dirt cheap to live in ATL. Just saying.

  548. Jaybird923 says:

    @CRyptic Which ladies are you planning on extending this invitation to?

  549. Goddess says:

    Agreed @Jaybird923, again, I do not know, it is hard to make good decisions when things are happening so quickly. And never been in such a situation. Which is why I draw my line pretty strongly in the sand. It doesn’t budge. All things before that line are negotiable.

  550. Jaybird923 says:

    @ATL never mind lol “Walk on the wild side” sorry I’m a bit slow today

  551. Goddess says:

    THEATLSD you’re from ATL, ohhhhhhhhh :)

  552. cryptic anomaly says:

    @ATL – Yo, Yo, Yo cuz, wassup? What say you we get some o’ deez ladeez in da house and get dis party started?

    Or something one might say in a ghetto.

  553. Jaybird923 says:

    @Goddess Her options where to get her stuff, walk out of the hotel room, catch a bus or cab to the greyhound station, buy a ticket, get on the bus, and go back home.

  554. Jaybird923 says:

    @ATL WTF?

  555. THEATLSD says:

    i leave and it gets all Ghetto in here.

    “And the colored girls sing”

    Doo doo doo doo doo doo de doo doo…….

  556. Goddess says:

    LOL JayBird923 well she’s not my sister, I see her more as someone probably in a tough spot. I’m guessing that she’s just clueless about what can be on these sites (lowlives with a bit of cash directing her to how sugar should be) vs Cucumber’s take which is pretty much “fuck this, pay me”. It’s like ONSD said, some guys look for the girls who reek of desperation or naivete. I come from a good family and decent background so I do have the option to be patient and selective in my search. Not everyone has that luxury. This is where my empathy derives. Also no one forced her, right but what were her options, The guy flipped out on her for trying to be accommodating and really did treat her badly. That also happened despite intentions on both sides.

  557. hototrot1 says:

    I must have the one weirdo SD who likes drama! I like tension, it can be sexy sometimes, not all of the time.

  558. Jaybird923 says:

    @Goddess I was with you until you said she was “forced to perform” No one forced her she choose to do it not once, but twice. And she did do something wrong. She did everything wrong from the beginning to the end.

    I understand being empathetic but this sister circle thing gets on my last nerve. Every time a woman does something stupid everyone gathers around her and find creative ways to justify her actions. They walk away learning nothing. because it wasn’t their fault this only occurred because he was a bad man.

    On another note much better. No trips down the rabbit whole for me :)

  559. Goddess says:

    Cucumber I see your problem.
    *Doesn’t matter what you think of me on this. I’m not having my time wasted again. I will not sit through 4 hour dinners and 6 hour chats with the same “well I’ll think about it”. As I said before that’s how I met a time waster.

    It’s called SUGAR DATING. If you want to date bring the sugar!*

    If you have no interest in getting to know these men then they can detect that and it’s a turn off. You should LIKE your SD and spending time together should be part of the fun. Otherwise try carrot dating or one of the other pay per date sites if you don’t have the patience or care to get to know someone. I find some of these men to be positively fascinating creatures. I love sharing their company.

  560. Goddess says:

    LOL Cucumber, typical SB abuse? Holy hell, nothing remotely close to THAT has ever happened to me. I don’t want to be mean here but as the saying goes “you get what you give” and “the players are playing each other”. It boils down to choices.

  561. Goddess says:

    OK, Read Kane and Lacey and have a few comments for the young ladies. Lacey, you are BEAUTIFUL, stunning really and sorry for being a bit of a lurker, but my only advice is to have at least ONE photo that displays your bubbly personality and says “Hey, I’m fun!” You might be like me and someone who isn’t in love with the camera but remember to put a bit of your personality in at least one of your photos. I’m sure you’ll see a difference, best of luck! xoxox
    Kane, you are young and lovely and one saying comes to mind. “People will treat you the way you allow them to.” Are you sure this man didn’t indicate being impatient before you met him? Like making you take a greyhound instead of a flight? (My god, those buses are cesspools.) Not being concerned in getting to know you as a person? Fetishizing your race and forcing you to “perform” with some girl you don’t know and putting your health in jeopardy? Take a step way back hun. You need to realize safe sex is the best sex. You might not have done anything wrong but be TOO accomodating, come across as TOO needy and allow this man to believe he was somehow doing either of you a favor. He sounds more like a predator than SD. I wouldn’t class the men on here with men of his ilk.
    Hopefully now you know to actually get to know someone and have chemistry. Sex shouldn’t be something you “grit and bear”. Some of these guys I’d love to freaking pounce, seriously. Best of luck young ladies!

  562. gentleman soul says:

    Like Cryptic I arrived late and read through the night’s work. Here are a few thoughts
    @Ms. Temptation
    So here is an interesting question how does an SB determine her value especially one new to the sugar bowl?

    asked and answered but you are “worth what an SD is willing to pay in your market . I like girls who are “negotiable” . If you have a hard number you are looking for(to meet tuition ,etc) just set that price and see if anyone bites . But $1000/month is a reasonable starting point in all but big cities. A happy SD will raise his number if you are thrilling to him-even beyond your wildest desires. If you are just “OK” he will nickel and dime you .

    “so a quick look at those viewing my profile, most are listing as negotiable or moderate with two listing as substantial. Your thoughts please..”

    ignore what they say. Just respond to those who are attractive to you and see what they offer . No businessman would offer substantial -at least in his right mind.

    @hot
    Why don’t SD’s like the term “feisty”?
    I know you are teasing but a lot of SBs do put sarcastic in their profile . The last thing I need is sarcasm. I want sweet,loving ,caring,sensitive,sexual ,to name a few . Forget starting anything with “I need-want-”
    @Cuc
    I will continue to ask to save myself the headache of finding out the offer is not what I seek.

    I’m with you Cuc. Get the deal breakers off the table before you waste time and money . Example : talking with a Pot and we are on board with money and sex ,but just before we met I made reference to being married and she was shocked . It was in my profile but obviously had not read it .Thank goodness I didn’t waste a Starbucks on her LOL . #2 Met a 1ovely Pot for dinner ,but failed to follow my rule . After dinner I asked if she would like to go somewhere private to relax together to start out arrangement . She said sure but no sex . What ?! Maybe after I get to know you I will think about it . WTF ?! I countered just for fun with “Well, let’s go but I will consider an allowance after I get to know you better ” I knew the answer but I should have saved $80 and not wasted time treating a coed to dinner .

  563. cryptic anomaly says:

    @Hot – I like dark hair and pale skin normally. But features alone don’t it for me. She is like Iggy Azalea really harsh looking. Just had another look at the BBW women, I think they are both quite nice, seen better but pretty to me.

  564. rembodler says:

    2 women in a pic – 1 night stand material.

  565. Jaybird923 says:

    @Cryptic lol message received

  566. hototrot1 says:

    @cryptic

    I think it’s their expressions too. The one on the left is plain, while the one in the red looks as if she could be pretty in the right setting. I agree @Jay Dark hair and pale skin is pretty. She’s sorta strange though, like Iggy Azalea. I thought the two women from the Plus Size blog were homely. I thought to myself, why did they get such facially challenged women for the plus sized article. Lots of chunky girls with pretty faces!

  567. CucumberOnLids says:

    Kane92 says:
    @Kane92
    June 11, 2015 at 5:15 am

    Monetary conversations are only iffy if the guy hasnt proven/ or constantly avoids bring the mutual agreement a topic.
    —————————————————————————–

    That’s the truth. Sorry you had that experience. He tells you he doesn’t like nose rings but invites someone to have a 3 some with a bunch of piercings? Not to mention the fact that he didn’t even ask if you were interested in having another threesome to begin with. the next time he wants the same lady and since she’s not interested he pays her but blames you for her disinterest? Then all of that for $200?

    I too have read similar stories.

    Typical SB abuse.

  568. cryptic anomaly says:

    @Jay – To me the one in red looks like a cartoon character exaggerated features and kind of harsh. The one is white is plain but she looks normal at least. But you are right beauty is in the eye of the beholder and this beholder finds zero beauty in both of them.

  569. Jaybird923 says:

    @Cryptic Beauty is indeed in the eye of the beholder. The one in red is the one I found to be more attractive. I thought the other one was rather plain. I liked the long dark hair and the pale skin combo and her face is more delicate and feminine. While the other one looked a little more masculine to me.

  570. cryptic anomaly says:

    @Miss Lady – Yeah I couldn’t hold it back any longer. Not SB material at all especially if they are going be bitchy about it.

    @Jay- The scowling doesn’t help but the one in red is ugly in all expressions the other might be ok-ish if she smiled.

  571. Jaybird923 says:

    @Cryptic Maybe it’s all the scowling.

  572. MissLady says:

    Lmao @cryptic, I thought that ever since the article came out! But beauty is in the eye of the beholder or else the author was trying to make a statement lol

  573. Jaybird923 says:

    @Lady Don’t be sorry my dear, these things happen. If there’s a senior citizen over 30 in your vicinity ask her to lend you one. They usually carry an extra pair for emergencies.

  574. CucumberOnLids says:

    No what all of you are not understanding is the interest is overwhelming on my side. Problem is TIME. I can’t sit and have dinner 9 days a week because there are only so many days in the week. I’m trying to find an easier solution to getting to a SD without distraction.

  575. cryptic anomaly says:

    On another note anyone else think the 2 women in the pic are seriously unattractive?

  576. MissLady says:

    Oh I’m sorry jay, I forgot to put my age appropriate, bitter bitch panties on today, forgive me.

  577. Jaybird923 says:

    @Lady your are mistaken. Didn’t you know it’s only the ladies over 25 who are like that. And that’s a great suggestion wish I would have thought of it Tumblr would be a perfect place for her ramblings

  578. MissLady says:

    Wtf?!? Kane, no words just speechless, that sounds nothing like a sugar relationship and I hope any newbies lurking don’t take it for one.

    @cucumber are you on tumblr? Not knocking, just you sound like the mentality/tone of the countless young girls on there (I say young cause I haven’t come across one that was over 25 yet). They all have the time is money and the clock ticks fast, didn’t realize it was so common.

  579. CucumberOnLids says:

    Still, dinner is enough, money for first meet&greet is not ok . But clever SD brings to such meetings new perfumes, or something else – onse I get gilded Chopard pen and gentelman says he always give them for meet&greet. That is nice. But money … not by etiquette rules.
    _____________________________________________________________________________
    I never demand money to meet. The point I’m making is that I want to meet them not meet food.

  580. CucumberOnLids says:

    Even on another site I have up on my profile what I’m seeking. 99% will contact me anyway with dinner offers, to grab lunch and hang out with them on their yacht etc. I ask them “are you seeking a mutually beneficial arrangement”. Umm duhh umm well I just thought that maybe…. Right you’re the 80th person to get the selfish, self serving notion that I’d go gallivanting around town for awhile before I realize you’re not what I’m seeking. You’ve gotten your free younger woman validation/companionship fix and I had my time wasted. Get out of my inbox!

    It’s the same on regular dating sites. Every guy shows up in your inbox knowing right from your profile that you don’t want them and they take It upon themselves to push their agenda and what they want on you. It’s repulsive because you can never find what you’re seeking because you have to sift through attention whoring trash. This is why most men get ignored on regular dating sites because they put their wants and needs above the person of interest and feel entitled to a response.

    Just a few nights ago one pretend SD contacted me. Great physique “body builder” type. So he texts me ” Hey how’s it going?” I said umm who is this as I honestly didn’t know. Here comes the ego: “I’m the guy you gave your number to last night”. I’m sitting there thinking wow what a self centered ass. I said umm that’s nice but that still doesn’t tell me who YOU ARE. I receive “well maybe I have the wrong number”–cue the ego burn. I don’t expect every man I text or speak to will automatically know who I am with a vague hi it’s me.

    I sat back and had to think hmm which guy would appear to have the highest self esteem but in truth probably not? The “looks” guy. So I said “ooh I remember you ” cue compliment on looks”. I figured it would take about 20 texts for this guy to get his free “pay me attention/constant validation fix” and he’d move on. Like clockwork he did.

    Even last night I got another ” Hey I’m seeking the same”. We get to email and I instantly go in for the kill. Kill in this case is figuring out you’re another fake desperately seeking attention. The messages start back and forth for a few exchanges and once I drop the “so what are you seeking in a blah blah” that’s when the responses stop. Then I receive something 30 mins-1hr later ohh what is that? For some reason they have absolutely no idea what I’m talking about. HUH? Sugar Daddy? What? lol.

    Then after a few more hours I get well I JUST THOUGHT THAT… right you thought you could change my mind on what I’m seeking because you’re so amazing. Go away!

    Another guy yesterday said “I’m a Sugar Daddy” and put in the $$$ but after looking at his profile he clicked on everything “but” SD/SB. I said umm well that sounds nice but based on your profile you clicked on everything but SD/SB relationship. No response ? Exactly.

  581. Jaybird923 says:

    @YGTBKM No need to elaborate I get you. Have fun on your lunch date.

  582. Jaybird923 says:

    @Remmy That has nothing the with the age of the SB. Those are her flaws and unfair to attribute those characteristics on everyone else. There are plenty of younger SBs that think just like she does. All you have to do is go on Instagram and you’ll see them for yourself.

    That would be the same thing as me saying “See why I don’t date divorced men they are all bitter women haters that want to make others pay for their ex’s mistakes.” That would be a gross generalization.

  583. RussianSB says:

    Sure, if man not going to provide sugar, and use that site to find free dinner companions – he is timewaster. So, I prefer dinner over coffee – spending 500$ for dinner each time with new girl will made him think about what he really wants after few month of such dating :)))
    By accepting coffee meetings – you attract average Joes to that site , ladies. Then don’t biotch about quality of members here.

  584. yougottabekiddingme says:

    @Rem

    “Cuc’s”

    Hahaha. I can’t help but laugh at that one.

    This place is a free-admission zoo.

    I have a lunch date. Can’t let this place suck me in!

  585. rembodler says:

    So, after reading Cuc’s ramblings, anyone has questions as to why younger SBs are so much more preferable?

  586. yougottabekiddingme says:

    @Jay

    On point! I can delete my draft now.

    Red flags, for sure.

    Is, however, highly manipulative behavior.

    Hurried morning. Will elaborate later, if needed.

  587. RussianSB says:

    Still, dinner is enough, money for first meet&greet is not ok . But clever SD brings to such meetings new perfumes, or something else – onse I get gilded Chopard pen and gentelman says he always give them for meet&greet. That is nice. But money … not by etiquette rules.

  588. CucumberOnLids says:

    @cucumber – Your response to my comment confirms it…you ARE better suited as an escort, because those examples I listed are exactly what an escort does…exactly what sugar is NOT!
    —————————————————————————–
    Doesn’t matter what you think of me on this. I’m not having my time wasted again. I will not sit through 4 hour dinners and 6 hour chats with the same “well I’ll think about it”. As I said before that’s how I met a time waster.

    It’s called SUGAR DATING. If you want to date bring the sugar! That’s the point. You say you don’t “pay for dinner meets” yet you’re saying at the same time you don’t value the companionship. Do you really think these SBs are starving for a meal or is it about you getting some companionship for the night without having to “INVEST SUGAR”.

    This is what most of the complaints you see on these blog go into. Once they find out what the SD offers or john or whatever the SB saves times in meeting him. In other cases the man tries to order the cheapest item on the menu typically an appetizer and want’s to share it.

    It’s better to find out ahead of time what the SD is really seeking. Why would I just follow along like a lost pup and tilt my head to the side when after 4 or more hours the person states “ooh looking for the love of my life”. No one has time for that nonsense.

    I mean what is the dinner really for when there are all other types of media where you can clearly see the SB in real time. Sure pictures can be faked but not live cam.

    If I don’t meet a pot for dinner the next best thing is for coffee why? I don’t want to sit and chew and think about the meal. I want to go to a place where he can clearly see me and we can talk.

    After an arrangement is in place then I enjoy having dinner with my daddy. I don’t feel like I’m sitting in some twisted interview.

    The point is it feels incredibly awkward to sit across from a stranger, have dinner and then try to talk about an arrangement. What if the person doesn’t look like their pictures? At that moment you’d be sitting there thinking “what happened?”. It’s just too much.

    Coffee allows for a quick escape If you meet someone and think ” no this is not going to happen”.

    Ohh and just to share a tidbit. I had 9 dinner offers this week. Care to know which one was a pot SD? Maybe just 1. That’s the point for some reason men over a certain age seem to use dinner as a means to receive some companionship.

    Just to even go further on this. Remember I told you about the pot that was really pushy about me meeting him at specific restaurants that were all near him? I kept suggesting something more relaxed like a starbucks just so we could talk. The man talked to me almost every week so I felt a base meet should have been easy. Nope he kept on picking those same dinner spots then eventually picked a dinner spot near me 3 weeks later. He ended up running later and later and I said just jump on Skype. I walked him through setting it up and there we were.

    This is the one that said :

    “Ohh I don’t pay for someone to have dinner with me only intimacy”. So I said well if you don’t enjoy companionship as much as intimacy why would I have dinner with you? He’s like “Baby you’re my girl anyways so”. Cute but umm nope don’t back peddle. If you only value intimacy then it would be best to spend time with someone who values companionship as much as intimacy. That’s why I enjoyed my last Daddy. I didn’t feel “PAID FOR” I felt “PROVIDED FOR”. It’s a huge difference than what I’ve been receiving in messages from pots that are holding on to their Johnish ways.

    Another example:

    My first week here (this time) A pot contacted me and chatted a bit. He was almost too good looking. Great body, face and those pictures are clearly not fakes. He’s basically what all SA advertisements to SBs are about. “Ohh look ladies wouldn’t you want a ruggedly handsome SD with chiseled abs?” Problem? He’s not a SD. He’s here to just regular date younger women. That’s all. I figured him out in maybe three messages and thanked him for his time. He lol’d at me because it just was too obvious to me. So he said ” Well knowing how lovely you are, I bet you wouldn’t turn down a nice dinner with a guy like me”. I said thou doth protest too much! Of course I would! We’re not seeking the same things so there isn’t a reason to waste my time in meeting you just like any other dating site.

  589. Jaybird923 says:

    Ok class can anyone else spot the problems with this story?

    1)”I wouldn’t have told you to take the greyhound up here ” (this one is more personal preference I’m not taking the greyhound anywhere)

    2)Ride this thing out seeing as though we never discussed monetary value (you get on a bus and travel to another city without finalizing the details of the arrangement)

    3)There’s a knock at the door, another SB enters the room anyone walking the streets of Raleigh would identify her as a prostitute or escort, I never told this man I was into women or open to have 3Somes.But I deal with her(He springs hooker on you without telling you and even though you’re not into women or 3somes you sleep with her anyways because By golly there’s money to be made how can you walk away from the lure of sweet green backs)

    4)I ask where the other portion of the money was he said , “after last night…please” (please see #5)

    5)I even gave him a second chances at me 4 months later , again the same rip off (So he didn’t treat you with any respect the first time, didn’t give you the agreed upon amount the first, but 4 months later you decide hmm “That’s enough time for him to have changed I’m sure this time will be different”)

    But none of this is important. He’s at fault here you did everything right,don’t take any responsibility for this situation. You hold your head high girl, you did good.

  590. yougottabekiddingme says:

    @Kane

    @Lacey

    Welcome, and thanks for sharing.

    @Kane

    Ive heard stories similar to yours. In fact, eerily familiar. That is the worst kind of person, in my opinion.

  591. flyR says:

    @Lacey It sounds like you were setting yourself up for failure on multiple levels. Hopefully you have learned and are smart enough to not punish future SD prospects for your poor prior choices. In business and sugar there’s a time to let a bad deal die and walk away.

  592. Laceyqueenx says:

    Well being rather new to all this and reading this blog I find it rather interesting. I would hope that no one would categorise me into any of the above. However we are all here for different reasons and as long as you are totally open and honest ( which is a major importance for me ) and both parties are happy then that’s all that matters. I suppose it’s a dangerous game for both sB and SD I mean SB want to ensure there safety when meeting and hopefully finds a SD that does all he agrees and is not just looking for a way to meet young girls and get some extra bedroom time. In addition to SD having to ensure there SB isn’t some manipulative gold offer who couldn’t care of their SD feelings, isn’t prepared to get to know their SD on an emotional level and is just out for money money money. I mean don’t get me wrong I’m here because of the money, you cannot deny that every SB isn’t. However that does not mean my intentions here arnt genuine, in addition to money and wealth their is nothing more pleasurable than getting to know someone on an emotional level and becoming close with a deep friendship that is unlike any other. Also wealthier and older gentleman tend to be allot more caring, polite, kind, generous, well mannered and know exactly how to treat a woman, are more passionate and romantic. Which makes for a rather pleasurable experience different from the usual self obsessed, huge ego, rude, scrounging, noncompassionate, disrespectful, cheating and often handy with their fists guys that I’m used to meeting. I haven’t yet found my SD but it’s early days and I just hope my experience is what I am hoping for and I am lucky enough to find a genuine SD as I am a genuine SB :) xx

  593. Kane92 says:

    Monetary conversations are only iffy if the guy hasnt proven/ or constantly avoids bring the mutual agreement a topic.

    My Second SD that’s a Geriatric Doc , him and his attitude were from Antigua, his brothers a brain surgeon living in DUBAI..both substantially wealthy ..but assholes. Our first time meeting in Raleigh , NC was decent had a lovely dinner until he notices my very small noise ring , he immediately says ” if i knew you had that i wouldnt have told you to take the greyhound up here ” I ask would he like for me to go the restroom and take it out , of course he says “yes please” i take it out…we continue our convo , go to the hotel room and lay there for a couple of minutes….there’s a knock at the door ..well what-do-you-know its Ms.Peaches from DeKalb fking county ..another SB enters the room she an A-A with a platinum blonde wig ,piercings all in her face ,jeans and a jacket but anyone walking the streets of Raleigh would identify her as a prostitute or escort …At this point idk whether to cuss this man the fck out or ride this thing out seeing as though we never discussed monetary value…he then says ” if you dont like her she can leave and ill find another one ” i never told this man i was into women or open to have 3Somes. I simply said i have had sex with a woman and no longer am looking to entertain that area of erotica.But I deal with her . she leaves an hour later (duty calls) ,and we briefly discuss money. I say 8 for the 2 days i am there..especially since he would be at work majority of the day and i would be alone at the hotel.the next day he leaves 200 by the room phone and tells me to catch a cab to local mall…I go shopping etc…somewhat in the back of my mind i am over the situation. the last night I am there he demands I invite the girl i had sex with before him with us , i contact her she says she wants $$ , he agrees.That same night we travel an hour out to greensboro to meet her…take her out to dinner/drinks and to a room…she only agrees to me giving her pleasure and him just touching ,so i have to please them both…when he realizes she doesn’t want to have sex with his he gets mad at me for inviting her…takes her home gives her money still . On the way back to Raleigh all i hear is ” i am very disappointed , you didnt keep your end , your going home tomorrow ” yada yada yada …get back to Raleigh sleep in separate beds , he doesn’t speak a word , the next morning we get to the greyhound station , i ask where the other portion of the money was he said , “after last night…please” …There are some conniving SDs that expect the most for practically nothing at all..i even gave him a second chances at me 4 months later , again the same rip off bull the amount established is not what you will get with this guy…he will find a reason to lower it no negotiating. worst experienced besides the SD that was obsessed with black women but ill leave that for another sector.

  594. yougottabekiddingme says:

    I like the rabbit hole. I really do.

  595. Dazed-SD says:

    @MS Temp, One young SB had this line in her profile, “My financial expectations are reasonable because I know when I find that right Daddy he will take care of me the more I take care of him.”

    I think she’s on the right track ?

  596. CucumberOnLids says:

    “On a number of occasions over the years I have written to SB with something like – here is why I like your profile, here is why I think we would be good for eachother ( and why I would be good for you) , although I can afford your target it is not what I think is a prudent budget for me. I’ll fully understand if that’s not acceptable to you but would love to pursue this further if it is of interest to you.”

    This is gold here!

    There is one pot I reconnected with because even though I may have balked at his offer at first he was the only one to state look please don’t think I’m attempting to diminish your self worth in anyway, this is just what I can honestly afford. He ended up offering a bit more just to please me.

    Those words made me melt! < –We have a date set up to meet again soon plus he gave me a $100 gift on our first base meet.

    Others were abrupt and made me feel like I was on the nearest street corner. A man that has a way with words and recognizes you in just the right way may almost put the monetary aspect second on the list of concerns.

    It's a very rare man that can make me overlook the financial aspect of an arrangement. Very rare man indeed:) hehe

  597. flyR says:

    n

    I think Salt is misused and toxic is a better word for both SD and SB

  598. Jaybird923 says:

    @Cryptic I agree you. If you don’t know what you want, how do you expect anyone else too. These are things everyone should have worked out before hand.

  599. Inked Ginger says:

    i was reading a lot about Salt Daddies and happy to read about babies as well.
    i live in Asia and feel like people here totally misundersand meaning of this web site. most of the guys starting conversation from “how much?” and when im trying to say its not working this way they saying that most of the girls here already having a price tag.and that’s how this site working for them in Asia. I’m a member of SA about one year and so far i met only 3 good guys =)

  600. Jaybird923 says:

    @Josh One more compliment from you and I’ll have to quit the blog..that way you won’t be breaking your rule about blog SBs. Thank you for appreciating me for me xoxo

  601. Jaybird923 says:

    @Flyer @online I have no intention of putting feisty in my profile. It was a joke. I know better and it’s not true of my personality. I’m more likely to be smiling and laughing. And making others laugh. No more lectures on the word please.

  602. flyR says:

    feisty is often code for obnoxious

    perhaps someone who stimulates your mind, challenges your vision.

    Lots of women fail to realize that many men are here because they want a refuge from the ungrateful , the want a happy women….. not the ones who are always complaining about some injustice, failing of men or wisdom of the women’s studies professor who is incapable of surviving overnight in southern California or changing a tire ( and probably a lightbulb)

  603. Cryptic Anomaly says:

    @Hot – Yes you are right, when someone comes across as a No person or as too demanding then it takes all the fun out of it. I saw one profile earlier which I really liked at first, then at the end she read the Riot Act about how the SD must be able to afford at least $1500 a month or don’t bother. She wrote this due to bad experiences she had. I get that we’ve all had let downs and bad experiences but it is the whining that is off putting, makes you wonder if she will complain generally. In terms of your feminist conversation, Feminism has let women and men down period.

    @Russian SB -Yes I have read a lot about China and the effects of not just the one child policy which in itself wasn’t really the problem but the favoring of boys over girls. They will have some serious issues in the coming decades as will Japan which has a very low birth rate. In terms of men showing off their wealth some do that even in Western countries but if a man is genuine he will be rather careful in marrying someone he feels is just there for the cash as our divorce laws heavily favour women.

    @Sarah – We all get frustrated on here at times, if you feel that your frustration is getting too much than maybe take a break. You don’t want to piss off a SD who is genuine because you are feeling cynical and figure you will put through some kind of test.

    @LASD – Some good points there. I don’t think all SB’s understand that the more a SD will pay you the more time (and other things) he will expect in return. If a SB just wants to be more of an escort as in dinners and outings then she is better off going for the lower rates the chasing the big fish who will want the lot.

    @ Temptation – That is a good point about how a SB determines her value. I think it depends a great deal on how the SD sees her and what he wants and what she can deliver. Some men have a particular type of woman who just do it for him or that he has always wanted to spend time with so when he finds that woman she might be worth a fair bit to him whereas another woman might have lesser value. As cold as that sounds with the value concept. Also depends on the SB what she is offering, how she comes across in her profile. I think I can speak for most men and say that the more money focused a woman is on her profile the less the man wants to pay her that is of course if he even bothers messaging her. Turn it into a game and it will become a game.

    In terms of your meeting question over coffee. If you have an idea of what you want then let him know and let him know what he can expect for that in terms of how many meets a week and whatever else you are offering. Remember he has agreed to meet you so you know he is interested to some degree.

    Lets put it this way, do you like him? Do you think you can have fun with him? If the answer is yes to both than whatever he offers is a plus.

    @Jaybird – Good points there as well. If a woman just wants her rent paid or something taken care of for her than the man will either decide to pay that or not. I think it always makes it easier if the woman has some idea of what she wants.

    @IHF – That is something else I always think of as well. There are so many women on here, if I see some that are demanding I just move on. This site is the opposite of normal dating sites where women are inundated with messages from men. I have also found that the women seeking less are better looking than the ones who want more. I think some of the ones who want more are opportunists who will hold out until that comes along but they don’t realize that there are other women offering more at a better price.

    @D7NH – Exactly right, I think many SB’s think we are stupid. We wouldn’t have what we have if that were the case. We will be going for a cost effective deal, I think some SB’s believe that we are careless with cash.

  604. flyR says:

    Ms Temptation

    Unless your minimum requirement is pretty high I would pretty much ignore what the SD’s list , UNLESS there is something in the text that reinforces their range.

    On a number of occasions over the years I have written to SB with something like – here is why I like your profile, here is why I think we would be good for eachother ( and why I would be good for you) , although I can afford your target it is not what I think is a prudent budget for me. I’ll fully understand if that’s not acceptable to you but would love to pursue this further if it is of interest to you.

    About 50% of the time I get something back that says let’s talk and a number of those have been successful. I have also responded to women who sent similar messages or sent messages to the effect that they chose to put x in their profile for defensive purposes but that they would be comfortable with something less with someone who was a great match and brought more to the table.

    If you see someone who is not in your allowance category but who looks like someone you would work well with there’s nothing wrong with sending a note that suggests he would find a lot of reasons to upgrade and concurrently you would compromise too . I think it is important in all of t these not to challenge the other persons allowance aspiration.

    There are also a lot of people who want to start negotiations high. We used to joke that the cruelest thing you can do to a new yorker is to accept their first offer. They will be convinced that you know something they do not know.

  605. Josh says:

    @Ms Temptation

    You’re going to have challenging time at SA. Others will break it to you in piecemeal.

  606. Josh says:

    @SDs like @Jay kinda girls. Call them what you like. You’re not interesting. Get used to it

  607. Ms. Temptation says:

    @online
    okay great thanks will email you tomorrow night
    that just put it all in perspective
    LOL

  608. Josh says:

    “Especially since the self appointed guru left the building, hehe.”

    There’s reason I leave @Jay alone. She calls out SB’s BS. And @ONSD does a great job with SB coaching. The Guru is taking it easy but scrolls thru blog periodically.

  609. hototrot1 says:

    @ONSD

    Why don’t SD’s like the term “feisty”? I don’t use it, just wondering.

  610. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @flyR – hit that one perfectly…

    Okay…good night all!

  611. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @temptation – sorry, I’m tired…in the email, send me where you’re searching…

  612. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Temptation – you’re in trouble…send me an email onsdthrowaway at gmail

    tomorrow, I’ll login as a SD and see how many SB profiles are close to you so you can really determine your competition for those 26 TOTAL pots!

  613. flyR says:

    OLSD re spelling and grammar – could not agree more . The profile should be done in word or word perfect, from an outline , and after speil check block copied to the profile.

    It’s amazing that people who would be mortified with a little spinach on their teeth will post profiles written in the dark of the night with drugs substituted for sleep.

  614. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @flyR – I have another story about first-time romp…that story is why I did not with this one! I’ll share that tomorrow…it’s late for me and I have an early morning!

  615. Ms. Temptation says:

    26 top of page

  616. Goddess says:

    Hehe Jay, in my book it means “not boring”. 😉

  617. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Temptation…26 total at the top of the page, or 26 pages active within the last week?

  618. Ms. Temptation says:

    Going to have log off bedtime calling me .
    lol

  619. flyR says:

    @online – I think a lot of the younger SB are very comfortable going from hello to consummation of the arrangement in one meeting. I agree it seems strange for her to have made the suggestion if you had not yet discussed allowance. The argument for your more nuanced approach is that it gives both a time to think.

    On the other hand if you have had some good phone discussions and gotten to know each other, she knows who you are , you have discussed expectations in generalities the first meeting may be more of an acceptance inspection, without commitment.

    Santa Monica has a great place with an ocean view bar that’s very quiet in the late afternoon-early evenings with great appetizers and the quiet space to have a discussion. Over the last 6 years probably half the first meetings have been continued in a more intimate venue. If there’s no probability of taking the next step during the meeting then I think it is good to make that clear at or prior to the meeting.

    As long as you remember to wash behind your ears a first romp with a new SB is probably the ideal prep for a serious meeting.

  620. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Jay – feisty is something to SHOW, not ADVERTISE…SDs would probably like it if it didn’t turn our stomach (and starting with it in the profile can be stomach churning)…

  621. Ms. Temptation says:

    @ONLINE
    26

  622. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Goddess – the only johns who list as high are the ones who couldn’t afford the standard backpage rates in his area…or the stalkers looking for the freshest, most innocent and naive meat…

  623. Jaybird923 says:

    @Goddess Feisty? I think I like it. Maybe I should add it to my profile. Do you think SDs want feisty? :)

  624. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Goddess – typos on blog or in a message are one thing…in a profile is completely different! You can send an email to your boss with an occasional typo without much incident, especially an internal message, but you CAN NOT send a resume with a typo in it…it goes immediately into the garbage!

  625. Goddess says:

    hahaha hot, I don’t mind Jay’s feistiness, used to it much like yourself. The ladies of the blog are a fun group overall, love the energy. Especially since the self appointed guru left the building, hehe.
    @ONSD maybe she’s dyslexic like me, my typos get pretty godawful and then I facepalm I didn’t proofread well enough. I really try to meet people face to face if I can because it has happened when I surprise someone or someone surprises me, either for better or worse. :)
    @rembodler you reminded me of a time we went to a restaurant right alongside the Brooklyn bridge and on the distant pier they were shooting a movie. 😀
    I have my funny moments, hehe.

  626. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Temptation – do me a favor…do JUST distance and smoking…tell me the number at the top of the page…then, look through until you see the active more than one week, how many pages were there?

  627. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Temptation – DO NOT filter by income or assets…and if you’re only looking at Substantial Expectation level or higher, my research (from a SB profile I created for research) shows those two categories are the LOWEST NUMBERS for SDs…If YOU want Substantial, you might list as it, but approach Moderate SDs to see if they are looking for a bargain…

  628. rembodler says:

    @Goddess
    You are funny…maybe try to sell that bridge in NYC?

  629. Jaybird923 says:

    @Hot That doesn’t even make sense but okay I’ll play along. Yes broken record syndrome is a terrible disease and apparently you’ve caught it. Otherwise why would you again find the need to bring up the same subject. You should get yourself to the ER before it gets any worse. Be sure to come back and post about your “adventure”.

  630. Ms. Temptation says:

    @online
    so I went up one distance level and listed substantial as income and that resulted in 5 matches. Other criteria very sparse musts like non smoker.

  631. Goddess says:

    Hmmm OnlineNewbieSD I always thought the johns typically list it as “high” (to lure them in and then try to rush sex). The escorts I assumed typically keep their profiles short, sweet and suggestive. And thought those who are open to whoever they might meet are the ones most willing to negotiate. I mean really any bit helps for someone like me, including information. I am spending money anyway on my startups and into my savings so any ease off of that is great. If the SD is understanding of that, as maybe someone who went through those early trials himself and wished someone guided him through with info/funding. Even mentorship would work for me as I have been spending 90% of my time researching marketing techniques, planning and taking notes. Also looking up building my “marketing team” and things like “EPI software”. So alternative view to “negotiable”. :)

  632. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    Another story…TONIGHT…I got an email from a Moderate profile…she sent me a message a while back, I responded, she didn’t continue the conversation…now…all of a sudden…she wants to know if I’m still looking…she wants an intellectual man (on her profile) but can’t spell to save her life…she wants an adventurous man, but says her sense of adventure is like trying anything once or to live and let live…she lists as Average build, but her photos are basically just face and a bit of cleavage and even then her face hints at internet average not real life average…see…even when they have an expectation level chosen, you could still hit a “winner”…

  633. hototrot1 says:

    correction *@Goddess, like you said, eloquently defended herself a few posts ago*

  634. hototrot1 says:

    @Jay

    We can all be juvenile. And I wasn’t so much defending @Goddess, like you said she eloquently a few posts ago. I was just noticing a pattern. While some of your critiques can be rather pointed and amusing, I don’t think that’s all you’re good for. I’m sure you have some adventures. I don’t need a bed time story, would just like to see more of that side of you. Isn’t that what you tell others. Broken record syndrome is a terrible disease.

  635. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Temptation – now, you need to consider your “standards” for the sugar bowl versus IRL dating…

    My search criteria? I actually use a 50-mile radius, then choose a specific Expectation level…look at all the profiles listed in a specific Expectation level…this lets me take a look at the profile pic, the height and build and decide if I want to click through…

    So, do a different search and let me know what the numbers are…

  636. Ms. Temptation says:

    @eloquence
    yup paraphrase was helpful. I am climbing out of the rabnit hole. Lol

  637. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Goddess – I said IHF’s idea to search the SB competition isn’t relevant to the SB’s sugar self worth…it’s about finding the SDs available and active…

    You’re right…most everyone will negotiate, but, those who list as Negotiable in their profile are lumping themselves in with the escorts and johns, the douchebags and the scam artists…everyone has, in their mind, what they feel comfortable with as what the would like to receive and what they would like to spend…it has nothing to do with the physical stuff or intimate stuff…choose an Expectation level…negotiate from there…I’ve listed as Practical, but communicated and considered Moderate profiles in the past…I’ve had a High SB profile reach out to me…when I said our Expectation levels were out of alignment, she said, “I’m willing to talk to you at your level, I’m confident you’ll find me worth more.” THAT’s confidence…it got her a cup of coffee and an hour of conversation, but she was a train wreck face-to-face!

  638. Ms. Temptation says:

    @online
    did two conservative searches 0 matches

  639. Jaybird923 says:

    @Hot #1 I find you calling anyone juvenile hilarious. #2 Goddess doesn’t need you to defend her She quit eloquently told me off in her on way.

  640. Eloquence says:

    @ Ms. Temptation

    Better? Or did we all fall down the rabbit hole and now we are floating on a ship away from the hot air? Lol

    Trying dear…trying.

  641. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Temptation – I still say ignore the Negotiable category completely…if one reaches out to you, you can take a look at his profile and decide if you think he’s one of those profiles that is actually negotiating and not a john looking for a deal…

  642. hototrot1 says:

    @Jay

    Are you talking about @Cucumber? Goddess?

  643. Goddess says:

    OnlineNewbieSD, IHF’s suggestion is entirely unrealistic. Regardless of what anyone sets on their profile as their required amount, they might be flexible in that area. Everyone is different. I had a guy paying all my bills and giving me thousands every couple of weeks when I was in college and never slept with him. This was in NY, I’m sure he could have rented someone for cheaper if all he wanted was sex. These things happen, regardless of how “rare” they seem. We had great times, great trips and great moments together and we both did care for each other. Has it ever happened again? Not to that degree (at all) but yes. No one person is going to do it like everyone else and I think remaining objective *sugary* and less accusatory or cynical *salty* is important for an optimistic outlook and outcome. If you go in *bitter* you’re setting yourself up for what you might think is a bad experience but actually isn’t. I am paying people to do the work I don’t want to in order to simplify my life. Sure, I can spend the money on my self but omg, peace of mind. If you can AFFORD to give yourself THAT, do it. And though I agree with the filtering techniques mostly, I think meeting people if only to get away from the office might cause an actual surprise. A pleasant one. One that is worth keeping around.

  644. hototrot1 says:

    @ONSD

    The e-card was a nice touch. She sounds a little desperate though…be careful. Even if she’s not an escort, desperate people are worse.

  645. Jaybird923 says:

    @Hot It’s not about censoring/bullying. I’m just sick of hearing it. It’s frustrating. From the beginning every one has offered her advice(which she refuses to take) Several of us has offered to help with her profile (she refused that also) If you don’t want or are not willing to take help what is the purpose of continually posting the same shit?

    The worse part is when she’s not hung up on this nonsense. She’s a smart, funny person. (not to mention attractive). It frustrating watching someone with the potential to be great sabotage themselves.

  646. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Temptation – not those looking at your profile…you need to go to the search page and do a search…use the travel distance you would travel to meet someone (because he might travel to meet you the first time, but he’ll almost certainly want you to travel to him on occasion)…filter for your “standards” of build, race, height, age, etc…then look at what the numbers are…then look for how many have been active within the last week…then let me know what your audience looks like!

  647. Eloquence says:

    Love boat theme song commence…

    When your sugary daddy is the kind of lover you coin “McDreamy I Screamy” because he knows what floats your boat. “McSteamy” is the selfish one who dribbles, the water is only on himself, for creating water is his deficiency.

    The surprising catch? Hook, line and sinker…no need to cast a hook a second time when you reel the right one in, you find he brakes the line and upon your ship he shines, damn, he is fine!!!! :)

  648. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    I should clarify…this was last year…before I started things with Student…

  649. Ms. Temptation says:

    @online
    so a quick look at those viewing my profile, most are listing as negotiable or moderate with two listing as substantial. Your thoughts please..

  650. hototrot1 says:

    @ONSD

    Thanks! More like it.

  651. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @hot – here’s a real world story for you…I met a pot for lunch, during the lunch my afternoon business meeting had to reschedule…conversation was going very well with her…SHE said, “let’s get a room and see if our naked conversation goes as well as our lunch conversation has”…I told her when scheduling that I don’t carry cash, I don’t pay allowance at a first meet, I don’t play on a first meet…I reminded her of our conversation, she said, “I know, but aren’t you interested?”…I said, “so far, yeah…and I would be interested in exploring further…but we haven’t discussed either expectations…are you sure you want to jump into something?” Her response, “I wouldn’t have suggested if I wasn’t!”

    I told her I still had an appointment later in the afternoon and I wasn’t going to do something that might get me distracted before that meeting, because of the importance of the meeting…

    She disappeared, never responded to me…and I sent her an e-gift card that afternoon after we went our separate ways with a message about wanting to get something scheduled where I could clear an afternoon…

  652. Ms. Temptation says:

    @eloquence
    I just fell down the rabbit hole with jaybird lol
    Could you paraphrase that please.

  653. hototrot1 says:

    Share some of your life @Jay. Pointing and calling attention to other people’s missteps is juvenile. No one’s perfect. But high school asides and laughter is passive aggressive. IMO

  654. hototrot1 says:

    @Jay

    I don’t beat around either. You’re censoring people. It’s bullyish. I can’t tell you what to write, but I can tell you how I see things. It’s not cute.

  655. Jaybird923 says:

    @Hot Oh No! Are you all tucked up in bed waiting for your bedtime story? Don’t beat around the bush with me. I’m pretty straightforward. You have something to say do so. I share when I feel it’s relevant to the discussion. But you won’t find me bitching and complaining about the same thing over and over again.

  656. hototrot1 says:

    correction: EVERYONE’S LIFE.

  657. hototrot1 says:

    Did I direct anything to you ONSD. I just said I would like to see less criticism of other people’s words and experiences and more input about what’s going on in YOUR life. I don’t like to see others censored. Annoying.

  658. Eloquence says:

    Instead of successful sugar ships there are shuttered ships due to the dead fish from hot and steamy conditions with no real water.

    Tune in…the same conditions will apply until you sail into new waters where the wind sprinkles the fresh water on your face from the speed of the ship while relaxing in the cool refreshing breeze of the coast.

    Such relief is life, instead of baking in smoldering conditions in murky salt water with nothing but hot air. Sailing to higher ground.

  659. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @hot – if you think what IHF and I are doing is critique like high school, you’re missing the sugar bowl…you don’t get ‘good’ real world stories without a good profile, search strategies and filtering techniques!

  660. hototrot1 says:

    I want to read less critiques, more first-person accounts. This isn’t high school. Are we being graded?

  661. hototrot1 says:

    @Jay

    Do you have any Sugar adventures to tell?

  662. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @IHF – It’s not that easy though…it would be more appropriate to search the SD in her area and see where the expectations are set…if there isn’t a single SD listing at Moderate or higher there’s the market…if she wants Moderate she’ll either have to sift through the shit storm that is Negotiable, juggle two or more, expand her search area or build a profile that sparks so much interest that SDs are reaching out to her as a Moderate profile and telling her they would like to meet her expectations…

  663. Jaybird923 says:

    @Goddess You’re not the first to say that. I would make a fun sub. Enough spirit and fight to keep it interesting. lol

  664. Goddess says:

    ha JayBird923 well too bad I’m not an SD, you seem like you would be a fun submissive. That is my only thought, promise. 😉
    @IHF2030 some men like skinny, full figured, athletic, white, black, blonde, brunette. Are you seriously sending us on a demographic search only to meet up with a wealthy man who can afford an allowance? LOL

  665. Ms. Temptation says:

    @online
    okay that makes sense to me
    so really and SB goes in with the same ideas around value and investment and they essentially negotiate from there.

  666. IHF2030 says:

    Ms.T…If you want to determine your values then check out the competition in your area and then set your value accordingly.

  667. Jaybird923 says:

    @Goddess I’m not angry I think we’ve had this discussion before. Just a low tolerance for nonsense. for me to be angry you would have to matter (I’m sure you’re special to someone just not to me.)

  668. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Temptation – there isn’t a real “formula” for the allowance…each SD has in his mind what he wants to spend on sugar…he also has his ‘standards’ for a lover…he will look for someone meeting his standards that will accept his budget…when sabotage or ‘salt’ begins to spoil the situation, he will begin to look again…there will be times he feels he’s getting a deal (woman exceeding his standards below his budget’s cap) and times he accepts a woman at or slightly below his standards at the high end of his budget…this is where the economics and investment thoughts impact things…

  669. Jaybird923 says:

    @Goddess See You just told me to go fuck myself in one sentence. lol Thank you I appreciate your getting to the point so quickly

  670. Goddess says:

    My point was pretty straight forward and succinct so if you’re lost then…meh. It’s like me telling you “I think you are way too defensive and lose your temper far too easily”. I’m certain you’d disagree. :)

  671. Goddess says:

    @JayBird923, that’s fine because I know what opinions are metaphorically compared to quite often and I read your comments and chuckle quite frequently. :)

  672. Jaybird923 says:

    @Cucumber Enough is enough! If it walks like a duck, talk like a duck, it’s an escort. You are the fucking problem. Everything you say scream escort. How you react to situations scream escort. That’s why you only get Johns they are who you’re marketing.

    You’re letting you greed lead you. For God’s sake one of them even told you you were the only one stupid enough to message him back. Obviously everyone else picked up the clues in his profile and left him the fuck alone.

    Jesus Christ no one wants to hear your bull shit anymore. Either get a backpage ad or stop telling us about your adventures.

  673. Ms. Temptation says:

    Is there formula?
    I have no clue what my value would be but would consider time spent, ease of availability, looks, age, expenses involved as factors in an arrangement.

  674. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @IHF – I have seen that to…a disproportionate amount of BBW listing as Substantial and High…

    All SBs take notice, he didn’t even mention Negotiable…AVOID IT LIKE THE PLAGUE!!!

  675. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @D79NH – EXACTLY…it all foes back to profile and presentation!

  676. IHF2030 says:

    d79nh….Actually, I’ve been doing some research and often the women seeking minimal/practical/moderate allowances are more attractive than women seeking high/substantial amounts. Again, with the oversupply of pot sb’s on here, a lot of women are simply pricing themselves out of the market.

  677. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Jay – Should have listened…damn it!

    @cucumber – Your response to my comment confirms it…you ARE better suited as an escort, because those examples I listed are exactly what an escort does…exactly what sugar is NOT!

  678. D79NH says:

    @IHF Some of it is also quality of the product. A 10/10 asking me for $5k/month is acceptable. There are few 10/10’s on this site. But the average (beautiful) SB wondering to herself why she isn’t getting a lot of interest might want to ask herself if she’s presenting a value. Those of us who have the money to be SBs have that money because we aren’t foolish with our investments and don’t overpay when we have another option. Those who aren’t good at either won’t survive long.

  679. CucumberOnLids says:

    @cucumber – could you imagine if I met with every one of the messages I get that stated an hourly rate? Or every one that had a list of services with prices? Or every one that lists “massage” “entertainer” or “independent contractor” as her occupation? My businesses would fold, my life would be over and I’d be a destitute loser!

    Actually Online that doesn’t make sense because if someone is putting up they offer “massage” or “they have their rates posted” I would think they were being pretty cut and dry. You could easily say “no thank you” because they are upfront at the start.

    SBs rarely if ever get the straight forward I only offer x per month, per meet or in some of these really odd cases per 30 mins. If the men were upfront and honest it would save everyone alot of time.

    Remember we have the lies on age, body type, arrangement type they’re seeking, networth, annual income.marital status and so on.

    Even the fact they someone will still contact you when you clearly state “I’m seeking this”. This is a problem on mostly all dating sites not just sugar. Put up a profile and 99% of the men that contact you will attempt to tell you how you need to give them a chance because well they’re special. Right forget what I really want sure no problem.

    On another site same thing. I had a guy just say hey my name is blah blah and he went on to write a book. I responded with ” did you read my profile?”. Never heard from him again.

    One man said Ohh that’s exactly what I seek, you’re gorgeous. The minute we start exchanging messages he says oohh I just got out of law school and can’t afford a SB. I said why did you even message me ” ohh you’re the first attractive woman to respond back”. He went on further to state that he would only spoil someone he’s in love with. I said well that makes sense in conventional relationships but umm dude you’re married.

    Doesn’t that strike you as a bit selfish? In my mind I’m thinking well there’s someone that will be in divorce court soon.

    > A general rule of thumb for SBs: Asking what the allowance is up front is a turn-off, although we understand you don’t want to waste your time. However, you never know what you might find if you open your mind. That guy offering $1,000 for two dates a month is probably far less demanding of your time and attention than the $5,000 a month guy who wants you three times a week. Also, the smaller allowance can be masking a SD who will hang in there for three years rather than just a few months. Also, it can take longer to find Mr. Moneybags; sometimes it’s better to go with the smaller allowance SD, because that guy’s available now. Bottom line: Know your value, but also Know Value when you see it.

    It may be a turn off but I’m not turned on by “I don’t know, well let’s see if we have chemistry, or let me blather on about my accomplishments for four hours straight before I get to what you’re seeking”.

    I will agree with the comparisons on allowance. Sure the 1k a month SD may be more relaxed than the 3k a month SD. This I could see.

    I will continue to ask to save myself the headache of finding out the offer is not what I seek.

    The one time I didn’t really push the allowance issue was when I met the worst time waster of them all. I’m not doing that again.

    The allowance on the profile should reflect what you intend to provide each SB you contact. The problem is that 99% of the time it doesn’t and we (SBs) don’t want our time wasted either.

    Other than that I agree with everything you posted.

  680. Jaybird923 says:

    @Temptation Let’s say in your profile you said you were looking for $2000 range. Then you meet for coffee, the SD will do one of three things

    1)agree that to him you’re worth $2000
    2) Don’t think you’re worth anything to him
    3) Think you’re okay but only worth $1000.

    Either he’ll agree to your range, decline to make you an offer or he’ll negotiate. If he offers you less you decide if you’re willing to take it or walk away.

  681. Jaybird923 says:

    @Goddess This is going to come off completely rude (and I do apologize in advance) But every time I read one of your post I feel like Alice going down the rabbit hole. I end up confused and wondering what the hell just happened.

    I’ve never seen someone use so many words to say so little of import. For someone who states that they are as busy as an SD, one would think you wouldn’t have the time to waste and you would get to a point as soon as possible.

    I’m glad you look amazing in the tight white dress and hopefully the hotel manager in South Florida will find one of her/his own so he/she can stop obsessing over yours.

  682. Ms. Temptation says:

    Sorry about the typos tonight

  683. Ms. Temptation says:

    Okay I am probably going to get myself in trouble eith this one but here it goes. Would an SD who is experienced and the real deal not have some sense even at the coffee meeting stage what he thinks the SB sitting in front of him may be worth to him in establishing the arrangement. Should it not be an offer to which the SB can either reguse or continue to negotiate. ATL I may neef saving from myself here!

  684. Jaybird923 says:

    @IHF2030 Oh ok carry on :)I don’t have to break out my transcripts.

  685. IHF2030 says:

    Jaybird….I was speaking in general terms.

  686. Goddess says:

    @JayBird923, honestly I used to have highly photoshopped *best* pics but realism is part of loving your everyday self and well even maybe downplaying yourself so when you meet he is pleasantly surprised. I agree with everything else you stated though. I just love my everyday authentic and imperfect self and think she too is a Goddess. But I do look amazing in a floor length tight fitting white gown, this hotel manager in South Florida is still obsessing over the “white dress” haha. 😉

  687. Jaybird923 says:

    @IHF2030 Is that a general statement or is it aimed at me.

  688. IHF2030 says:

    there are

    Value/price is determined by supply and demand. And since there is a huge over-supply of sugarbabies and a very limited number of real sugardadies, it seems that a lot of women on this site flunked economics 101.

  689. Jaybird923 says:

    @Temptation There is no determining your value it’s more about what you want/need. If you need $1000 in allowance to live comfortably ask for that if you want $5000 in gift and prizes ask for that. It doesn’t matter.

    What truly matters is if someone thinks you’re worth what you asking and is willing to pay it. That’s where your profile come in it’s your opportunity to market yourself to your target consumer. Put up your best pictures and tell them why they need you in their lives and not why you need them.

  690. Goddess says:

    hottotrot1 you might wanna give it a go, hehe. 😉 I don’t know, I have my fun, LOL.
    Also RussianSB you made an AMAZING point on how the expectation of sex vs the expectation of money/gifts are deemed. We all know why we’re here so calling foul either way seems pretty illogical. If someone is offering money for X, usually before someone feels compelled to roll out of bed and use their expensive products they have to have an idea of the amount, no? It’s awesome to like someone but I am as busy as some of these SDs. I understand the value of their time and why Gamer chick is pretty awful because I fell asleep looking at EDDM campaigns. Just saying, our time is important too and we have lots of people we love but we also have our priorities, same as the SDs.

  691. Goddess says:

    Yes, I like inflicting things on my sugar subbies hottotrot1. If he was hinting, that’s totally what he wants. Two subs in my mind are ill matched because someone has to give the spankings, no? Also DowntownLASD, I think it’s knowing what you can afford to lose and if you can afford to walk away. Also knowing what type of standards an SD is used to. If an SD is used to a submissive woman, obviously he might find me mercurial and uncompromising. If an SD is used to a Dominant woman, he might get bored with a submissive gal so it’s all very relative. I think BOTH SDs and SBs should know their value. Everyone has options, on both sides, it’s a matter of time, patience and depth perception.

  692. Jaybird923 says:

    @Sarah Not everyone gets sarcasm. And obviously you missed it in my last statement. You shouldn’t care what anyone thinks about you. By all means continue to speak your mind. You’re right nobody has to like it and most likely won’t. But if you continue to do so respectfully it’ll be okay. :)

  693. Ms. Temptation says:

    So here is an interesting question how does an SB determine her value especially one new to the sugar bowl?

  694. Sarah says:

    I have an arrangement now that im content with.@Jay I dont really care what anyone thinks of me though. I just spoke my mind. Nobody has to like it. Everything i say is with all due respect, so that makes it ok

  695. DowntownLASD says:

    Most of these are easy to spot. I usually am able to recognize them right from the start.

    Sugar-Sucker: In their first message to you, it’s ever so sweet — “May I ask what type of arrangement you’re looking for?” Translation: “What’s your allowance?” Sometimes they’re more direct and ask how much we’re looking to “allow,” but usually they’re trying to be demure about it.
    Bitter Baby: This one usually gives it away in her profile — “If you’re not willing to provide financial assistance the first day, please select someone else.” This is someone who’s been burned before and has a chip on her shoulder.
    Gamer Girl: Says the day before your date that she has to cancel, then doesn’t reply when you try to reschedule. She’s the one who continues to “shop” SDs until she gets a bigger fish.
    Unsorted saccharine: Asks about your wife during the first conversation.
    Self Doubting: Profile pics are completely non-revealing (I don’t mean skin either). You can’t ever tell what they look like because the angle or focus make things unclear.
    Sugar Shark: tells you that she’s messaging you from her laptop because her phone is turned off, and “do you mind sending me, like, $100 via Western Union?”

    I’ve met all of these girls. Been so lucky to have avoided most of them almost immediately.

    A general rule of thumb for SBs: Asking what the allowance is up front is a turn-off, although we understand you don’t want to waste your time. However, you never know what you might find if you open your mind. That guy offering $1,000 for two dates a month is probably far less demanding of your time and attention than the $5,000 a month guy who wants you three times a week. Also, the smaller allowance can be masking a SD who will hang in there for three years rather than just a few months. Also, it can take longer to find Mr. Moneybags; sometimes it’s better to go with the smaller allowance SD, because that guy’s available now. Bottom line: Know your value, but also Know Value when you see it.

  696. Promise says:

    @Josh The blog goddess has heard you once again.

  697. Jaybird923 says:

    @Russian Not all women. I’ve never wanted to be treated like a princess. I’ve always wanted to be Queen.

  698. RussianSB says:

    PDBC SYNDROM – aren’t women generally have it, or just sugar babies ?

  699. RussianSB says:

    The last one I choose by intuition and never was dissapointed by my choice.

  700. Jaybird923 says:

    @Sarah You picked an inflammatory statement for your first post. If you read the blog you know it’s guaranteed to set people off. What a way to make an entrance. Welcome from the shadows. lol

  701. RussianSB says:

    Sarah – don’t walk away, one day you will write a book ” bucket of frogs and Prince Charming”. I also run into bad apples, even after perfect screening and long meaningfull talks. But every 5 th date in my life I meet real decent SD and spend arround 2 years with him.
    For other ladies it must be one in 20 dates, I suppose .

  702. Sarah says:

    I really dont use the site per se being i dont/havent logged in. I do think these blogs are pretty funny though. I read them all the time but just never post. I feel like i know you all

  703. Jaybird923 says:

    @Sarah Why are you still on SA if it’s been so horrible for you? It’s not required by law. If you try it and all you get is negative results than walk away.

  704. MissLady says:

    Lol @ atl

  705. Charlotte says:

    @ATL
    I am preparing wine and dine then 😮

    Worst would be a gamer after travelling for a baby.

  706. THEATLSD says:

    @Sarah. You just captured the essence of that article in one paragraph. Very nicely done.

  707. Sarah says:

    As a sb i can honestly admit at 1 time ive done all these things. I also can honestly say I had a reason for it every time I did. Every single SD ive met from SA has either led me on, lied blatantly, disrespected, stood me up,got my hopes up, lied to get what they want and the list goes on. I’m yet to meet one SD who doesnt deserve all of the above

  708. Jaybird923 says:

    @IHF2030 “princess-diva-bitch-cunt syndrome” word of the day Someone use it in a sentence. LOL

  709. flyR says:

    IHF Sugar attracts a disproportionate share of self entitled princesses…… But it also attracts others whose marketing skills may not be as polished.

    If you think of SB’s as aspiring entrepreneurs – some have a great concept but difficulty conveying the opportunity and others are better at attracting investors than delivering a true opportunity. The challenge is to find either the first or one that has both in moderation.

    Having said that there are some SD’s who live to be abused by arrogant princesses.

    It is supposed to be fun…… If they are not a fun partner it might be ok for a few nights , but not for a sustained relationship.

  710. THEATLSD says:

    Off topic. @Ga peach. Sorry I never answered you. The plumbing is half fixed until I get a day off. Looking forward to getting together for a blog convention next week.

  711. THEATLSD says:

    @Charolette. The rule was meant for SB. I have flown to meet SB’s before. Though there are certain countries I would not go to due to higher risk. Plus Sometimes rules were meant to be broken.

  712. Josh says:

    I guess this article is written by a guest writer/moderator.

  713. IHF2030 says:

    Sadly, far too many sugarbabies are infected with terminal cases of princess-diva-bitch-cunt syndrome.

  714. RussianSB says:

    Really ? Because of policy ” one-for- family child” they choose boys, and make abortions with girls ? Did you know that ?

  715. RussianSB says:

    Asian countries show a similar pattern; on Chinese dating sites, young women openly request what they refer to as si you or the “four must-haves”: a house, a car, a prestigious job and a high salary. As many Chinese cities nowadays are dominated by a majority of men due to a former male priority in the “one child per family”-policy, these women are highly successful in gaining hundreds of replies from eager, successful businessmen. In Japan, geishas are being taught from young age how to entertain, please and seduce men for money.

    Japanese men find this normal and highly respect these women for their work. Talented and prestigious geishas even end up marrying some of the country’s most affluent men in some instances, without anyone finding it inappropriate despite the obvious exchange for money and sex.

  716. flyR says:

    Everybody is making comments at the same time .

    I think a couple of mistakes a lot of new arrivals make

    not thinking about what’s important to you

    not looking at enough profiles and doing a fast screen……. get 20-40 profiles in a search and spend 20 seconds each to sort to 10 and then 5 .

    In a lot of ways it’s like IRL dating, you have to do some to understand what you want and some more to try to read the other side. One of the reasons I think quick first dates are the right thing especially for newly arrived. Too many get emotionally invested in a profile based on a single email or call.

  717. RussianSB says:

    How feminism killing feminity is well described in utopic movie based on Charlie Hebdo comics “Jacky au royaume des filles”.

  718. RussianSB says:

    Hototrot – oh, I never contact a NO persons, why people write such profiles ? As if someone in the world care what they don’t like and with whom they don’t want to meet ! I mean, they really think that everybody care and they are special.
    Only positive outlook can be good start for adult fun !

  719. hototrot1 says:

    @Charlotte
    “But ideas and conceptions change by time, feminism in on her prime, she makes us believe we should be independent,and ignore our sexual capitals. In this sense feminism doesn’t embrace feminity.”

    Equality shouldn’t equal wanting to be men. I totally agree.

  720. hototrot1 says:

    I think it’s off-putting when a person puts of litany of don’t wants, can’t haves, not-putting-up-with X, no, no, no in their profiles.

    Yes, it cuts to the chase and weeds out what you don’t want but it looks bad to the do wants. You sound like a NO person. And who wants THAT person?

    I say no more than 2 deal breakers in a profile. Leave the rest for discussion. IMO

  721. RussianSB says:

    Good topic, but I think guys can add some more sugarbaby types sharing their experience with us. And I think with “Unsorted saccharine” men are most happy.

  722. Charlotte says:

    @Hot

    Turkish men tend to spend a lot everything to show off, including women.
    I lived in Istanbul and met this kind of ” students” who were ashamed to have a peugot ( even temporally) so they wouldn’t take it to residence’s autopark.

  723. cryptic anomaly says:

    It all starts with the profile. I have seen so many SB profiles where the SB makes a list of demands and expectations and yet does not mention anything about herself or what she is bringing to the table.

    Regardless of what type of Salty SB she might be a lot of problems can be avoided by chatting a lot before hand online and in person. Not many scammers will hang around hoping it’s also hard for anyone to keep up a false pretense for an extended amount of time. That goes for SB’s as well.

    As I have mentioned previously don’t rush into anything and the chances you will get ripped off, extorted or anything else will decrease significantly. It pays to be cynical but still keep an open mind in the event that the person you are chatting with is genuine.

    One category that wasn’t quite covered is the SB’s who don’t know what they want or know but are too insecure to express it. I get that some women might want to just treat it as a normal dating situation, be spoiled with no allowance just the perks, that is fine but they have to say that. This is all about avoiding the usual guessing games that go along with normal dating.

  724. hototrot1 says:

    @RussianSB
    “In Russia, having an obvious gold digger on your side is perceived as a status symbol, proving that the man is rich enough to be able to provide for a woman with such needs (this mentality of bling-bling and showing off wealth to extreme measures, also stems from the Eastern-European liberation from communism, which prior made it impossible to own any kind of private wealth).”

    My first sugar boyfriend was Russian/Turkish. You sound so much like him in outlook. I hope I’m not misunderstanding you, but a lot of former communist countries, materialism is celebrated in a way. He was so handsome and also younger than me, I couldn’t understand why he gave me money. Forgive me for thinking this, but prior to him, I was led to believe “chumps” “simps” “loser” types gave girls money for dating them. It’s a whole other world. Yes.

  725. Charlotte says:

    @Atl

    You would have to give up your principle about not travelling on the first date 😉

  726. Charlotte says:

    @Russian

    While not russian I have an ex soviet/ slavic side. I totally understand what you mean by having “gold-digger” courtisan.

    I think it was a status symbol in the middle age’s Europe as well, Kings would spend fortunes on his “courtesans” gifts. Sometimes give them territory to buy nobility. These women were speciality educated to be able to hold conversations with cultivated men.

    But ideas and conceptions change by time, feminism in on her prime, she makes us believe we should be independent,and ignore our sexual capitals. In this sense feminism doesn’t embrace feminity.

  727. RussianSB says:

    In the U.S and Europe, women and men seem to think differently on the money-for-sex exchange. Women, who are dressed provocatively in a nightclub, are seldom surprised by the number of suitors that immediately approach. In fact, most of them enjoy the attention and are rarely offended by the compliments on figure, dress or character that follow. On very rare occasions, does a woman feel insulted by the fact that the suitor in deed wants to have sex with her.

    However, for men, the psychology is different. Some men arrive to the club in a Porsche Cayenne or Bentley. Dressed in a Brioni-suit they pull back their back-slicked hair, showing off a golden Daytona and indiscreetly tip the bouncer a fresh $ 100-bill before entering the establishment. Yet they are surprised, offended and disgusted when being approached by women who fall for these attributes, immediately writing them off as malicious gold diggers. In our Western society, it has become socially acceptable to openly desire sex from the opposite gender, but not money and gifts.

  728. THEATLSD says:

    @Charolette darling I will give you so much confidence you will have an orgasm at just the mention of it.

  729. RussianSB says:

    Hototrot – I punish my SD, if he bring me wrong present I put a pan on his head ! It is good HINT that the present was no good :)

  730. RussianSB says:

    I will be out of topic , but I am reading now cultural aspect of gold digging in different countries. And I am surprised with that exact description.
    The Western way of thinking is not universal, it’s peculiar. In Eastern, affluent societies, we can clearly follow a different mentality. In Russia, having an obvious gold digger on your side is perceived as a status symbol, proving that the man is rich enough to be able to provide for a woman with such needs (this mentality of bling-bling and showing off wealth to extreme measures, also stems from the Eastern-European liberation from communism, which prior made it impossible to own any kind of private wealth).

  731. Charlotte says:

    @ATL

    It looks strange my mouth on the picture. But Thanks.
    When you will be my Daddy I won’t doubt myself haha.

  732. THEATLSD says:

    @Charolette. With a mouth like that how could you be self doubting. 😉

  733. hototrot1 says:

    @Goddess

    Do you punish your SDs? I think I had a man once that wanted this, but I don’t think I could help him out. He kept hinting. I was scared. I’m somewhat sub in the bedroom.

  734. hototrot1 says:

    @Goddess

    Do you punish your SDs? I think I had a man once that wanted this, but I don’t think I could help him out. He kept hinting. I was scared. I’m somewhat sub in the bedroom.

  735. hototrot1 says:

    Vulnerability can be attractive in any person, but I hate self deprecation. The biggest narcissist move of all. “Who? Lil Ole Me????” Blech!

  736. Goddess says:

    woohoo! I’m none of those *happy dance ensues*
    Funny thing is, people tend to think Dommes are these angry, scowling, leather clad Barbarellas. Too bad my goofy nature is picking this theory apart. I only go into that mode if I like you and you’re subbly <3
    Fins tend to be of the Sugar Shark variety and probably a few more things on the salty baby list. I'm all about consent, depends on if the SD is happy with it all. Some men tend to marry the angry chicks, maybe that's what rings their bells, hehe. I think an SB should have her own thing going, school, work, photography, gym…anything really. So it creates less of an unhealthy dependence. Some choose multiple SDs so then the detachment is less dramatic. Or they *might* be escorts, I wouldn't know.

  737. Charlotte says:

    I am a self-doubting one.

    Some people find it hot as long as you don’t go untill the breaking point.

  738. Jaybird923 says:

    Insecurity is a major turn off and a burden to deal with.

  739. Charlotte says:

    @ONSD

    I don’t advice to ignore everything she receives in a month.

    It obvious these John people are trying to advantage of being new into the sugarbowl. So they kind of fade away.Or it was my case:)

    But if I was an escort I would stay on the site like forever as it has a clientale. Same for John’s I suppose.

  740. THEATLSD says:

    Did y’all notice the author. “ExecutiveSD”.
    Interesting choice of nomenclature. And they heard us and had a SD perspective blog. Kudos SA.

    My last SB had some of those “Self doubting” tendencies. Very annoying.

  741. Jaybird923 says:

    @Online You just couldn’t resist

  742. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    This IS actually a decent description…and underscores the issue of attitude, perspective and mutual for the arrangement to be sweet for BOTH sides of the arrangement…very well done! I wonder who ExecutiveSD is? There has always been a name before, hasn’t there?

  743. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    I posted this on the previous blog before I refreshed and saw the new one…so here it is again:

    @cucumber – could you imagine if I met with every one of the messages I get that stated an hourly rate? Or every one that had a list of services with prices? Or every one that lists “massage” “entertainer” or “independent contractor” as her occupation? My businesses would fold, my life would be over and I’d be a destitute loser!

    …does it sound any better coming from the SD side?

    Didn’t think so…@Charlotte has it down…if you can’t wait through the douchebags and scum for the first couple of months, you’re going to be disgruntled and disappointed. You have to be ready to catch the ONE SD that strikes your fancy whenever that happens. You have to be proactive and contact those that meet YOUR criteria (someone above said they don’t send any messages — big mistake in my mind, a classy approach will win an interested SD)…

    I do NOT believe there are more “john” profiles than “escort” profiles…however…those two categories are the two MOST ACTIVE profile types on SA…which means…you’ll get more contacts from those two types of profiles than you will from the “real” SB/SD…THAT’s why you need to be proactive, productive, contributing people or your sugar karma will suck the sweetness from you and you’ll turn into a bitter hooker/john for the rest of your “sugar” experience!

  744. MissLady says:

    Kudos for a posting a look from the other side

  745. D79NH says:

    Nice post. Finally something from the other side. I’ve experienced all 6. The bitter and gamer are the worst I think. Sharks I can spot pretty quick.

  746. Jaybird923 says:

    Finally it was taking way to long for the other one to load

  747. Charlotte says:

    and second…

  748. Charlotte says:

    first