2 years ago
“Santa Baby”: The Ultimate Sugar Holiday Song
  • Posted Nov 25, 2014

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Christmas may have turned into crass commercialism (back in about 1880) from its former position as the lesser Christian milestone holiday to Big Easter, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be fun. In fact, Sugar Babies and their Daddies can make the most of their Arrangements at Christmas. The present-giving holiday could be a time for going bigger with generosity, whether material or affectionate.

The season is also time to celebrate the whole Sugar lifestyle. And nowhere is this done better than in the popular Christmas song “Santa Baby” (Click above to listen.) first recorded in the 1950s by Eartha Kitt and which has been covered literally dozens of times since, by artists ranging from the Pussycat Dolls to Miss Piggy to Ariana Grande.

shutterstock_119475283

Listed in order of artistic integrity.

How is “Santa Baby” the ultimate holiday ode to Sugar dating? For starters, just the title shows a little sweetness being offered to The Man With The Bag. Any Sugar relationship or request should always be based on affection.

In the song, Eartha or Taylor Swift or Macy Gray butters up her Sugar Daddy, Santa, to persuade him to be generous with the following gifts:

  • A sable (a long, luxurious fur coat)
  • A 1954 light blue convertible automobile (the song was released in 1953)
  • A ring
  • A yacht
  • A fancy house
  • Tiffany home décor
  • The deed to a platinum mine

diamonds

Note: the deed to a diamond mine requires 7 Daddies.

So we’re talking some serious Sugar here. However, Eartha is just taking into consideration her Sugar Daddy’s pockets, which are deep enough to give presents to billions of people. He has apparently infinite giving capacity, kind of like he has a black American Express card, so Eartha is just asking for things she believes her Daddy can afford.

But what does this Sugar Baby give in return? Arrangements are always meant to be mutually beneficial, meaning that the Generous member gets companionship, affection, and possibly more from the Attractive member. Well, Eartha certainly fulfills her part of the Sugar relationship with Santa, not only with her panther-like purr (she did play Catwoman on the ’60s Batman TV show, after all) but also with her assertions of fidelity to her Daddy, maybe with a little bit of veiled threat at the end:

Been an awful good girl, Santa baby
Think of all the fun I’ve missed
Think of all the fellas that I haven’t kissed
Next year I could be just as good 
IF you check off my Christmas list … [emphasis mine]

“Nice sleigh you got there. Be a shame if sumthin’ happened to it.”

This isn’t transactional—there’s no tit-for-tat quid pro quo in Sugar relationships—but it shows a testimonial of fidelity over the previous year. (This isn’t a necessary part of Sugar, but some Babies or even Daddies choose to do it this way because it pleases them.) She explicitly tells her Santa Daddy that he can expect the same loyalty as long as he keeps up his end of the Sugar bargain.

She doesn’t just keep herself available just for Daddy, however; she actively shows him affection through pet names and other sweet words like “cutie” and “honey.” She says, “I really do believe in you” and tells him, “I’ll wait up for you, dear.” Not to mention, she asks him to “hurry down the chimney,” which is a Christmas version of “the key is under the doormat.” She shares her personal living space with him any time he wants to come by.

He especially needs company each year when he finds out he doesn’t exist.

See? I know it sounded like a joke at first, but “Santa Baby” is actually a perfect song to evoke all of the great aspects of Sugar dating. Eartha takes it to an entirely new level at the end:

Santa baby, forgot to mention one little thing …
A ring …
I don’t mean on the phone …

This is a great reminder that, although lots of Sugar relationships can run parallel to more traditional relationships like marriage, they can also run a different course that brings Babies and Daddies together at the altar.

Image courtesy of the upcoming movie North Pole Dancing: I Was Santa’s Sugar Plum.

These are the Daddy/Baby relationships you hear about in the news—gorgeous actresses with business or entertainment moguls. “Santa Baby” captures every kind of Sugar arrangement perfectly.

 

What songs are your favorites for holiday Sugar time?

 

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656 Responses to ““Santa Baby”: The Ultimate Sugar Holiday Song”

  1. Kait says:

    I never thought of this song in this light, but it all makes a lot of sence.

  2. Taja says:

    Hello all how is everyone??

    I’m just wondering why I’m still sugarless?? :(

    Still no SD and it sucks because I’m pretty AMAZING..

    Well I hope everyone else is all sugared up. 😀

  3. Candi says:

    This song is a classic!!

  4. NiekoV says:

    I’m not even attractive enough to get a SD . It’s sad :(

  5. KennaKenna says:

    @Josh @ONSD I’ve kissed all the SDs I had on the first date. All my first few dates with people I have been genuinely interested in have also lasted way longer than we both expected- 8:00 meeting staying out to 1:00am and not realizing the time.

    Conversation is never an issue for me, I like to talk and have a lot to say lol… Oh and I never talk about money or allowance unless they bring it up… My last SD- the chemistry was so insane, I probably would have seen him with just nice dinners and experiences so I never mentioned money- After date 3, he asked me for my bank details and sent me an allowance way higher than I was expecting.

    As I’ve said before, I don’t need the money from sugar to survive. I just liked being treated nicely and having nice things- and that’s what I tell SDs.

    I also don’t think I’d be a hit with many of your blog SDs because I don’t know how to answer the question of “What allowance do I need?”… If we are talking about NEEDS is $0 and the whole idea of talking about money itself can be very uncomfortable. I’m weird, I know lol.

    Also, I don’t take money from SDs I have no interest in, not even cab fare.

  6. ss1959 says:

    @KennaKenna & @Lainey: You ladies are killing me!

  7. Lainey says:

    @KennaKenna I’m all about the salt and pepper too but every once in a while there’s an exception to the rule. OR on top of being an amazing guy, he ends up having a REALLY NICE penis that wins me over LMAO.

  8. KennaKenna says:

    @Lainey I’m not into the club scene at all but I do like a nice cocktail at an upscale bar.

    I cook for my current SD all the time, actually I’m cooking right now(he’s still at work) and even though he has a cleaning person who comes once per week, I constantly tidy up whenever I’m there.

    Thanks for answering my question. I don’t know why but younger guys do nothing for me, I’m all over that salt and pepper hair in a well-tailored suit.

  9. Lainey says:

    Lol @KennaKenna I’m 5’10 with a KimK frame. NOTHING on me* is little! Except maybe my waist. Lmao

  10. Lainey says:

    Lol @KennaKenna I’m 5’10 with a KimK frame. NOTHING on my is little! Except maybe my waist. Lmao

  11. Lainey says:

    @KennaKenna yes I’ve had older SDs. Older SD appreciate that I’m very traditional. They like that I hate clubs and would rather read by the fire while they do work on laptop. I can’t be will a man who likes restaurants all the time. I love cooking and seeing a man’s reaction to my meals. I LOVE LOVE cleaning and my younger SDs take advantage of that but at the same time kind of think it’s weird.

    Older SDs can offer me more along the lines of mentorship which is what I want most right now in my life. The younger SDs do a lot of dinner, movies, shopping, trips. Older SD do more investments, cars, land etc.

    Keep in mind the athletes, agents and coaches I’ve had were men I was dating. Not SDs

  12. KennaKenna says:

    @Lainey you’ve perfectly described in your 2nd paragraph how I love to be fucked(only difference is I am tiny- 105 lbs):)

    I can only be with a dominant lover; that’s the only type of man that appeals to me.

  13. Lainey says:

    @OnlineNewbieSD “Spanking$”: I’m a fan of either form. But I want the SD to be into it. It’s odd if he isn’t because its all about exerting your dominance over me.

    I personally love being choked, especially if it’s an intense fuck session. I like fucking, not lovemaking and not sex. You want all that sensual shit then you better get it out of your system during foreplay because once you penetrate me I want it hard and fast. Slowing down is OK for a bit if you’re trying not to cum. That’s the only time is acceptable! I also like when a man bosses me around in the bedroom. I was dating this MMA fighter that used to throw me all over the room. Lol. And I’m not a little girl. He used to say shit like (doggie style) “give me your fucking hands and put your face in the pillow. Chest LOWER. Get fucking lower and put that pussy up in the air. Yea good girl. Give daddy that pussy”. He actually texted me 2 weeks ago. GREAT SEX! We’d fuck for hours! He was good at controlling his orgasm.

    I had a SD recently ask me “Ice or Wax”. My response was wax. He said “good!”.. its my believe that he was trying to gauge what kind of lover I was; sensual (ice) vs. Passionate (wax). It’s definitely a great icebreaker, no pun intended.

  14. Lainey says:

    OH MY JESUS. Just ran into the most BEAUTIFUL man EVER. Suited and booted at Fedex. We made eye contact, smiled and kept it moving (I was in a hurry). Damnit!

  15. DontCallMeDaddy says:

    Interesting thread. It seems safe to start posting now (as opposed to a few weeks ago). :-)

    I’ve been on SA since early last year, on and off a few times as I found and lost connections, and fortunately never had a lot of trouble meeting someone sweet and compatible. This time, though, it seems like even a coffee meet and greet is hard to schedule. Maybe it’s just a string of bad luck, but somehow it doesn’t feel that way.

  16. KennaKenna says:

    @lainey I have a question for you.. Have you ever had an older SD?

    I’m curious to know the differences between older SDs(40s) and younger SDs(20s and early 30s)?

  17. KennaKenna says:

    Btw, there is a new post up.

  18. Lainey says:

    @OnlineNewbieSD not them lol. I typically go to their games, or activities. It’s usually business execs that leave me with their card.

    The athletes always surprise me with gifts or like going shopping WITH me. Lol. They know better. Jk. I’d never do that to anyone. One of my exes gave me an account with over 170k in it. I rarely exceeded 10K a month (including bills). He was surprised I didn’t wipe it out in the first 3 months, but it allowed us to build trust.

    Not to say I haven’t had Lavish shopping trips one of which @Josh has the receipt of that totaled over 76k. But I’m so past that point in my life. I want more property and to branch out in business. At a certain point “I work for my parents” isn’t cute. Lol

  19. KennaKenna says:

    My SD is a huge sports fan(mostly NFL, NHL, college football and baseball) and travels almost every weekend to go to games if his team is playing somewhere(he is not a fan of the NY teams).

    Before he used to ask me to accompany him on maybe 1-2 trips per month but recently I’ve been only getting one weekend to myself per month. This can be frustrating sometimes as I miss friends’ birthday dinners, etc.

    If a lot of his buddies go on a trip and he doesn’t have time for me, I usually find other ways to occupy myself during the trip like exploring the city or a spa day.

    My SD has given me his ccard for the day to go shop but he later told me it was a test and I passed with flying colors.

    I think he is testing me again right now(regarding the ED issue).. I just don’t understand why…

  20. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Lainey – Let me clarify, I meant no disrespect to YOU with the scenario. ALL my disrespect was meant for the SD in the scenario. Because I’ve dealt with the aftermath in the past of irresponsible behavior like that and even family members taking advantage of the situation. As a SB, do what you like with what you’re given…I’m more generous with someone I feel is being responsible with the sugar she receives.

  21. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Sexy – I also heard from a pot that she hadn’t been on SA for over three months, but all of a sudden got a ton of messages from SDs, mine included. She claims to have contacted SA and was told that if you are not active for a period of time they will boost your profile to the other audience in an attempt to get you active again.

  22. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Lainey – I mean ABSOLUTELY NO DISRESPECT to you with this comment…but if it was a pro athlete leaving his card with you while they were away from you traveling, it’s no surprise that over 80% of athletes are bankrupt within 5 years of the end of their career.

    Did he leave you with instructions about how much, or specific stores or anything like that?

    The only time I gave my card to a SB was when I hired one to do some work for my business…she needed technology, so I gave her my card with instructions…she did well and I might have done it again…

  23. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Sexy, yes it is…I’m convinced, because I have let my membership expire twice…each time, I would get a barrage of emails the two days before and the 3-5 days after it expired…you need to pay to get to see the emails again…crafty bastards they are!

  24. SexyRockstar says:

    hmm, interesting. On the front page of SA, where it list the ‘newest members’. I’ve clicked on all of their profiles. The one that was most recently active was about 3 months ago. Is this a ploy to get all these girls clicking on their profiles so they will get email alerts to entice them to re-activate their membership.

    #SAisSmart #Tricky

  25. Lainey says:

    Yes @KennaKenna SDs always ask me to travel with them. One of my exes who is a Nba coach just texted me to travel with him. Which actually pissed me off because if anyone has been in a relationship with someone in the sports field “travel” means multiple cities and this girl is not trying to be stuck in hotel room waiting for him. Plus, it means I can’t bring my daughter. My other ex (nfl) used to always book flights for me, my daughter and nanny and get me my own suite. He also hit me up randomly recently saying he misses us and wants us to meet him in city his game is mid December. Ive always preferred his home games but whatever.

    I’ve had an SD in the past that actually would leave his card with me so i could shop during his meetings. That’s the way to do it! Lol

  26. SugarySpicey says:

    Online, I think a long, rough, surprise spanking or shock smack can be hot! But, “spend time” does sound weird.

    Of course, I once had a guy take a belt (hard, but not too hard) to me while I went down on him and it made me come. If he’d explained that plan up front it would have sounded “weird” too, but I’m glad I didn’t miss it.

    Experimentation is all in the execution, Online.

  27. SexyRockstar says:

    @ Kenna

    If my current asked me to travel with him, of course. We do it every now and then.

  28. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Kenna…I’m learning I have to clarify a LOT when I talk about preferences…about the easiest is that I am in NO WAY a submissive. I’ve had someone use light restraints and it freaked me out…I have to be in control! Now, light restraints on my lover can be fun…but when I say control or dominate, it seems it’s taken as the full-on BDSM style. Or, like one time I said I was not submissive, she replied, “but there are times I want to be on top” – did she really think dominate and submissive related to JUST the position?

  29. SugarySpicey says:

    I must learn to sleep in hotels!

    Had dinner with the sexy Austrian I met on SA two years ago, but no chemistry for me now, even though once upon a time … HOT!

    Oh no, I think I might really be into this whole fidelity idea with the guy from home.

  30. Lainey says:

    @SexyRockstar just when I thought those pics were going in the archive. *grabs pen and starts signing*

  31. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Sexy – If your current SD said, “I’ve got a conference in California for a week, I’d like you to go with me” what would you say to that?

    I think @Kenna is pushing for an established arrangement, not a first meet.

  32. SexyRockstar says:

    Oh…well, I’d have to exchange a numerous amount of emails first…then, I would only travel so I can afford my way there/stay there/and come back. Andddd…must be in my tri state area.

  33. KennaKenna says:

    @Sexy yes what @ONSD said… a local SD who you’ve been seeing requesting to spend a night with him or accompany him on a business trip.

  34. KennaKenna says:

    @ONSD I was talking about a well-timed smack but with my last SD there have been times when I was “bad” and he’d say you’re going to get a spanking for that and actually remember and bring something to spank me with.It’s funny the spanking and then 30 seconds on my clit send me right over the edge but I’m weird lol.. sometimes I like light bondage and not being allowed to cum…

    Some people are into hardcore spanking and want it every time, maybe that’s what she meant. You’re the SD so it’s up to you if you’re into that.

  35. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Sexy, I think @Kenna was talking about a SD requesting the SB go on a trip with them, not a long-distance arrangement…correct me if I’m wrong Kenna

  36. SexyRockstar says:

    @Kenna

    Living right near Chicago, I get a ton of them. I just say “I bet you are lovely, but I am looking for someone local so I can have an on-going long term arrangement. Best of luck on your search!”

  37. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Kenna – you have mentioned being submissive, and now the spanking…I have a question for you and any other SBs that “enjoy” spanking…

    When you talk about being spanked, are you talking about a well-timed smack to surprise and heighten the activity, or, are you talking dedicated time hand (or paddle) to ass?

    I’ve always enjoyed a well-timed surprise smack to a lover’s ass, but I had a conversation turn to spanking and was told she expected me to spend time spanking her…it was weird to hear, and I didn’t know how to respond…

  38. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Sexy – any guy who would say “the neighbors hear me having sex all the time” is just an egotistical d-bag…especially since it’s probably pros or he just can’t control himself when he’s stroking it 😉

    I did have one pot say something like that though. She said, “I get nervous in a hotel, since you can sometimes hear the next room…I can be loud sometimes and I don’t want to bump into the person next door in the hall, that would be embarrassing”

  39. Elaine says:

    @Sexy

    Yes you are right, I am not going to do anything with it for sure, haha
    It was just a thought after SD left room.
    Suddenly remembered the former discussions, so was realizing it could make a whealthy man quite vulnerable….

    And I guess most SDs don’t really think about it.

  40. KennaKenna says:

    Question to SBs- do you find SDs you’ve had request overnights or out of town trips?

  41. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Josh – Why is it that the blog SBs are exactly what I want to find and the SA site locally produces nothing like it? I need the guru to interject!

  42. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Sexy…you as my wing woman sounds like a perfect evening 😉

  43. KennaKenna says:

    @SexyRockstar haha! Yes, my favorite is to have it on my face. I also enjoy being spanked, name calling, etc.

    With my last SD, we did alot of role playing too lol…

  44. SexyRockstar says:

    Sista In Suga! Lovely ring to it. I could possibly be the best wing woman you’ll ever have! HAHA.

    With the condom thing…i’ve never ever thought about stealing a mans sperm. That stuff either belongs in my mouth, on my face, or inside a condom. Thatsssssss it.

  45. ss1959 says:

    @Lainey: I always try to defer to the pot SB for a first meeting location because I want it to be some place she’s comfortable. I don’t know if she has a car or a ride from a friend or if she’s walking or taking a cab or the bus. She may not be comfortable if I offer to pick her up or want to give me an address to send a cab to.

    I usually just ask if there’s a place convenient to her that would be good to meet for lunch, or coffee, or whatever it is we’re doing. Once we’ve established an arrangement I’ll be dominant enough, as that’s my particular brand of kink, but when we’re just starting to feel each other out I like to defer to whatever makes her most comfortable.

    Occasionally a POT will actually ask me to pick her up for a first meeting and that always surprises me. That seems to violate every rule of personal security.

  46. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    Ohh, and for any newbies reading this blog…Sexy and I have joked about meeting…and we might just grab an innocent beer sometime…but I think after talking on this blog, I think of Sexy as more of a “sister in sugar” than a pot.

    However, for SBs out there…she does give good advice…and if you’re getting a picture of Lainey and Sexy kissing, it’s a win-win-win 😉

  47. KennaKenna says:

    I’ve gotten tested with my SDs and gone on birth control for two of them after about 4 months(they’re still not allowed to finish in me though).

    I have never had a SD who was paranoid about how he disposed of condoms(or at least I never realized). It may be because after a while they fully understand I have a full life going for me and not interested in stealing their sperm.

  48. VHawk says:

    Santa Baby is fun and sexy! In fact, I think all Christmas music can get be hot 😉 I never really look through the blogs but would love to write and read more often! Merry Christmas fellow SB’s and SD’s & I hope Santa Baby gets you everything you ever wanted! I’m hoping for that new Keurig Coffee machine.. also hoping this time around it’ll keep the coffee hot opposed to the earlier versions! Happy Holidays!! :)

  49. SexyRockstar says:

    Ohh, and for any newbies reading this blog. I’ve joked to Online about meeting me, and due to actually being smooth and non crazy, you will make them want to message you. It’s all in your messages. Being beautiful will get you places, but being funny and smart will make you stay there :)

    That will be 300 dollars future SBs, please put it in my PayPal. You will receive a picture of Lainey and I kissing autographed. xoxo <3

  50. Josh says:

    Re: Condom disposal.

    I think that if I put big holes in them close to the tip before disposing then they would become sewer friendlier.

    Hmmm, maybe if I just cut the tip off to make a thin hose out of it then the condom would not turn into water baloon in the sewer system to clog it.

  51. SexyRockstar says:

    When I do go bars, and I order Old Style, the looks I get are out of this world. I said “I saw my grandparents drink this when they took me to Cubs games and let me run around, saw my parents drink this when they look me to cubs game and let me run around, so now I drink this at cubs games and run around”

    And some people make their own cubs suck comments and I say “Hey look, Sammy Sosa can’t speak English today, and neither can you so shut the hell up” next thing I know I get asked if I have a boyfriend.

    @Kenna
    I do stand up comedy, so, I tend to have a bunch of smart ass comments to say to stupid people. The fun/bad first date stories I have are wonderful.

  52. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Sexy, rather than post, I just favorited your profile 😉

  53. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    Damn @Sexy – you should conduct a class in profile writing!

    If you are what Bears fans look like, it’s no wonder they are 5-7 this season…to many distractions in the stands 😉

    I’m sorry to hear you’re a Cubs fan…that must be difficult after April 😉

  54. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Sexy – if she doesn’t like coffee I suggest a local brewpub or something similar…

    I went on a tour of the Budweiser plant in St. Louis just after college…wife and I were there for a hockey game and decided to take in some tourist stuff…at the end of the tour, they asked for volunteers and I raised my hand. They selected me and about 4 or 5 others to stand in front of the group and do a taste test…they brought out a tray of 1 oz. plastic cups with beer in them and asked us all to drink. We all choked the 1 oz. down with significant facial distortion…they brought out another tray of 1 oz. plastic cups and had us all drink those again…when we were asked to tell the guy the difference between the two, I was first and said, “I don’t really taste a difference, they both tasted a bit skunky to me” and EVERYONE erupted in laughter…everyone else said they could taste the difference between the first skunky beer and the second “fresh” beer…I’m too much a craftbrew guy to enjoy the ‘mass produced swill’…but I don’t mind if that’s a favorite of yours, I’d still buy you an Old Style 😉

  55. SexyRockstar says:

    IDK, but this is what a Bears and Cubs fan looks like:
    e2c08488

    I honestly thought about putting my new tattoo up..it’s on my back. But I really don’t want POTs thinking I am an alcoholic (I have a cubs old style tattoo)

  56. Josh says:

    @ONSD

    “I did have coffee with a pot this morning”

    That’s a lot of coffee if you ask me. LOL!

    his morning (met at 9:30am and

  57. KennaKenna says:

    @SexyRockstar that’s such a clever response.

  58. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    SORRY – I meant @Sexy!!!!!!

  59. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Lainey – have we met already hahahaha

  60. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    My cousin lives in Chicago, DIEHARD Lions fan…wife grew up in Chicago, DIEHARD Bears fan…daughter mocks dad with Bears gear ALL THE TIME…son sides with dad so far 😉

    he was at the game with field passes…s.o.b.

  61. SexyRockstar says:

    @Lainey

    “Want to meet at Dunkin Donuts? Does that work”

    No, America runs on that shit. I run on Redbull and Old Style. Meet me at this bar k thanks <3 HAHAHAHAHA. I'll be the drunk blonde singing 'Go Cubs Go' and I want 300 dollars just for drinks. xoxo

  62. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Lainey – I always drive to the pot’s location for a meet. I will do a brief search online for Starbucks or Biggby and a Google of “coffee CityName” to have a few ideas…but…I will say something like, “do you have a favorite coffee place you’d like to meet?” I think that’s a little better than “where do you want to meet?”…if she says “not really” I’ll suggest one of the chains and a local place to see where she chooses. I want HER to be comfortable on the first meeting…after we’ve established comfort level, I have no problem saying, “when we get together on Thursday for lunch, let’s meet at six-one-six at the JWMarriott. Just park in the ramp. I’ll have a table ready”

  63. KennaKenna says:

    @ONSD hopefully this pot SB isn’t too money hungry. I love when you’re having fun and the time just flies, and everything comes natural.

    I’m a bad actress so I can’t fake anything especially after a drink or two- I always need to be genuinely attracted or interested in the SD or my body won’t respond lol.

    I also kill my profile after I start an arrangement with a SD, I promise exclusivity and don’t want them to feel I’m still looking for a new pot SD.

  64. SexyRockstar says:

    So..uh…want to see what a Bears fan looks like 😉

  65. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Sexy – that would have gotten a positive response! In fact, I’m smiling from ear to ear right now…thanks!

  66. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Kenna – I’m not sure about most SDs desires, my only interactions with SDs are from this blog 😉

    I do think there are more SBs on SA looking for quick cash than a longer-term arrangement (at least local to me)…and they are dream-pricing themselves out of the game in my opinion.

  67. Lainey says:

    @SB am I the only that hates when a SD asks me “where do you want to meet?” Like can you show me that you know how to be the man or should I bring a strap-on?

    I am, however, OK with someone suggesting a place and asking if it works for me, but leaving plans up to me bothers me if we are not in an arrangement.

  68. SexyRockstar says:

    I typically request private pictures after a few messages back and forth. Or, in this girls case…I would of said something to you like

    “From Michigan? Must be a Lions fan. Thanks for kicking our asses on Thanksgiving. I want to see what a Lions fan looks like.”

  69. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Kenna – your description is what I had with my long-term SBs, it’s what I want in the future…I just think the marketing machine that is SA has created a glut of low-quality SBs AND SDs (although it was that marketing machine that got me to join, and continue to renew despite abysmal results to this point).

    although, I did have coffee with a pot this morning (met at 9:30am and didn’t look at the clock until I felt my stomach rumble at 1:15!) I had business I had to get done, so we ended rather than grab food, but it was promising! Wish she was more local (she’s 90-minute drive time)…she’s already texted to tell me she enjoyed the conversation and thinks we could have some fun together…

  70. KennaKenna says:

    @ONSD you just find all the bad ones. :(…

    I know you said you prefer a longer arrangement but do you think more SDs are ultimately looking for a long-term situation or more are just looking for a different SB every couple of months?

  71. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Josh – here’s a good one for you — @Sexy – another sabotage story!

    I was on my phone and favorited a couple of profiles to look at more when I had either my laptop or my tablet available…I get a request to view my private pics from one of the profiles within a couple of hours of favoriting her…she has private pics in her profile, so I sent her the “I’m happy to share, but consider it common courtesy to share when you request. Would you share with me?”…I get a response, “if you had requested, I would have granted. Good luck.”

    After looking at the profile, she didn’t really match my preferences…but…really?

  72. Lainey says:

    Oh ok @KennaKenna I guess that’s easy to answer to lol.

  73. KennaKenna says:

    Awww @ONSD thanks for agreeing with me.

    You will find someone long-term soon, a lot of good pot SBs out there.

    I don’t even talk about money or allowance on the first meeting unless he brings it up. I am more focused on establishing chemistry and showing him how great I am. Even if you want to talk about your allowance, be very tactful. My current SD is very generous but has ended things with past SBs because they constantly ask.

    If you find a good SD, he will reward you with extras without you even asking. After you guys decide on an arrangement, don’t try to change the terms- I think that’s the easiest way to lose a SD.

    And @ONSD you’re right about having a SD for life, I’m the one who always ended things and I’m pretty sure I could reach out to any of my previous SDs and they would be anxious to get back with me.

    All my arrangements except the first one have ended because I moved away or he moved away. The first one ended because I got too uncomfortable as I knew his wife and kids personally but we are still in contact.

    I don’t have regular relationships so I’m always ultimately look for long-term arrangements so I won’t even get started with a pot SD if I think it may be a short-term thing.

  74. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Lainey & @Kenna – I had one arrangement that lasted about four months, twice a week get togethers…she NEVER had my real name, and I’m not sure I had her real name either. She said she preferred it that way, because I was married.

    It was actually a bit hot, if I’m honest…but it didn’t last because she kept asking for more (probably a GREAT thing I didn’t give her my real name, kept her from tracking me down)

  75. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Sexy – Sabotaging a situation with me has looked like this:

    “I know we discussed $XXX, but I planned on A, B, C which I really can’t afford, can you help me more?” — Um, life not together, because you can’t PLAN something you can’t afford.

    We see each other on Wednesday…I’ve sent three texts at random times from then through the weekend remembering our time together and looking forward to our next excursion…no response, then, text on Monday at 8:30am “When can I see you this week?” — SCREAMS, When does the ATM open?

    Listing on the profile “non-smoker” and smelling like an ashtray

    Listing on the profile “light smoker” and stepping away from the lunch table TWICE for a smoke

    Making it obvious she has someplace else to be when we’ve scheduled time together…I mean, it’s nice to have a quick fuck, but if you’re climbing off and getting dressed before I’m even done, talking about someplace else you need to be, not going to happen a second time!

    Those are a few of the issues that have meant sabotage to me…I’m honest about why I’m here, what I’m looking for, what I expect…if I sense dishonesty, it’s the first foot out the door…

  76. KennaKenna says:

    @Lainey most people I know call me by my middle name so I give them that name at first. I usually give my full legal name after the first or second meeting. I also expect to know their real name and will verify it, this is something that is non-negotiable.

  77. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Josh – RE blocking SBs…

    I have made it a point to block unsolicited, long distance SBs…I don’t respond, just block and delete.

    I have also made it a point to block even local profiles that send a single word, or less than 10 words in an initial message, when they are outside my preferences…I just don’t want to get any additional messages that creep me out when I’m on the site looking for that next great relationship!

  78. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Lorelai – I think @SexyRockstar said it best…and it’s a question that ends many a SB opportunity with ME.

    When we get to negotiating for the arrangement, as say something like, “everyone has wants, and I’ve described to you what I want from an arrangement…but there are also NEEDS in every situation. I think I’ve made my needs clear as well. So, it follows…What do you NEED on a monthly basis to feel comfortable with the relationship type I’ve described? Is that number different than what you would WANT to receive from an arrangement?”

    There has only been ONE of my couple dozen first meetings that could actually answer the question on the spot…and only three others that could answer it later in continuing communication.

    My situation is a lot like @KennaKenna described in her post at 9:38am…I want to start SOME sugar flowing initially, but I want to see that she listened to what I want and need. I want to see that she has her life together (doesn’t continually ask for more money/gifts, cancelling time together, disappear from communication, etc).

    If a SB wants to learn how to make an arrangement last, read @KennaKenna’s most recent posts! The SB who does what she describes will have a SD for LIFE (or at least until YOU decide you don’t want the arrangement any more!)

  79. SexyRockstar says:

    @Online

    Thanks. I’ve done pretty well the past few times i’ve been there. Normally, my SD and I go together, but he’s busy. So I am seeing him two days this week. He will be out in my area within a few hours.

    I do have a question for the SDs since both you and Josh say SBs self sabotage. Exactly what do these girls say that make you put your drink down and all of the sudden have a meeting to go to?

    For instance, on my end, i’ve had a POT tell me “we can have sex at my place, you can be as loud as you want. the neighbors hear me having sex all the time” that made me want to die inside. If you’re having so much sex, why have a sugar baby? Do you have multiple? I am not interested in getting STDs kind of thing.

  80. Lainey says:

    *but I always give my name out the gate*

  81. Lainey says:

    @KennaKenna I completely agree. I take the same approach, but I airways give my name or the gate. I’d feel weird being called anything else. Lol. What if he says my name and I don’t respond? Lmao.

    How long do you wait until you give them your real name?

  82. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Sexy – I’m about 90-minutes away from the casino in New Buffalo…but weekends are nearly impossible to get away from family commitments (wife has plans or celebrations until mid-January already)…normally, if you were going to be there around lunch time, I would say, “let’s grab lunch” but this Friday is CRAZY with 5 client meetings! Damn year end Christmas “emergencies” hahaha

    I promise, I’ll give you a decent head’s up when I’m headed to Chicago so we can grab lunch or a drink or something…but, good luck in New Buffalo!

  83. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Elaine- RE-Spermjacking…

    You know, I’ve never thought about it, just threw it out, after wrapping it in toiletpaper…maybe because I’m not going to bed with someone I feel would be a problem like that?

    However, your thought has made me reconsider…I will probably go the @Josh route and flush (yes, I know how bad it is as well)…that way there really isn’t a doubt where it is or where it’s going.

  84. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    Holy crap a bunch to get caught up on…first thing is first:

    @Kenna – I’ve been on SA for almost 6 months, I think…every month I tell myself NOT to renew, because I’ll have a great cup of coffee or a drink with someone…then…the psycho or weirdo comes out (@Josh is right…most women cannot help themselves from self-sabotage), they “find” a bunch of bills they expect me to pay, they over-act satisfaction, or something else that just grates like nails on a chalkboard that destroys any and all pleasantness I had experienced to that point.

    But, it’s been almost two years without an arrangement…there have been some “trial runs” and some short-term interactions, but nothing that has gotten me back to feeling like I did with my long-term arrangements.

  85. KennaKenna says:

    @Lainey I now realized I only answered the first part of your question- not the what is important for a SB to bring to the table…

    Well, there are subsets of the SD pool so it all depends on the SD you’re trying to attract. But in general, I think SBs should be drama-free, easy going and open minded. They shouldn’t be princesses and be as comfortable getting dirty on a hike as they are having a spa day at a 5 star hotel. They should also be great listeners and able to go with the flow.

    I think great SBs try to make the whole arrangement hassle-free without any arguments. I try not to use the word no or any negative words/body language- if the SD suggests something I am not comfortable with- I spin the situation with my response without saying no or I’d never do it.

    I think all SDs want to feel important so I find creative ways to check in without nagging them but still letting them know I miss them and highly anticipate the next time we’re together. Also, I always dedicate my undivided attention, I never check my phone or even glance at my watch which may signal I have a more important place to be- I always let them end the dates and I’m always a good sport willing to stay out with them until they are ready to go home.

    And finally after the first couple of months I use a small amount of my allowance to get them a little token of appreciation, it’s usually something small like cuff links or something they may have mentioned in a conversation.

  86. KennaKenna says:

    @Lainey oh and another thing is all my SDs have been in their 40s and eve though the first one is married, number 2 is divorced and both number 3&4 are single, no kids, no ex-wives.

    Number 3 is insanely over educated and probably the most brilliant person I know. We only ended things because he relocated, we tried long distance but it just wasn’t working for me.

  87. KennaKenna says:

    @Lainey well I’m extremely submissive so I always let them take the lead with no hesitation. I am also more than a pretty face and big tits, I attended one of the top tier schools and sometimes I’m just as intelligent as them- my resume speaks for itself. I am not lazy, super ambitious and can function in any setting.

    My past SDs have all been in the Finance world and it’s very common for such individuals In NYC to have students they maybe mentoring in that field so if spotted together, there is always a plausible excuse.

    Also, I worked for a 80 year old billionaire first as his PA then on his portfolio management team so my contact list is extensive, sometimes I can pull strings that even they can’t.

    I am always well put together, I already have birkins, chanel bags, designer shoes so there is never a rush for me to extract sugar from them. I like to prove myself, show them how brilliant I am and then sugar can start flowing on both ends- this also weeds out the SDs who are looking to hit it and quit it.

    ALl in all, I believe my brain is my biggest asset so I try to attract SDs who are looking for someone smart which achievements under her belt and then when I do give them my real name and they do a google search, they are amazed at what I’ve accomplished so young and cannot comprehend why I would even be on a site like SA.

  88. KennaKenna says:

    I also want to add since the first meeting with the 3 SDs I’ve had, I’ve never asked for extra money or extra anything. The most I may say is that I’ve seen something I like.
    They’re the ones who always offer to be more generous and usually increased my allowance over time.

    I never had negotiable in my profile but my last SD made me an offer like “I know you’d ideally like XXX amount but for right now I am only comfortable with half of that at first. If the chemistry is right and everything goes great after a couple of months, I am willing to give you XXX.”

    I never brought up the issue again and in month 2 he gave me what I wanted.

    But on the flip side I’ve also been on a date with a pot SD, chemistry was good, we had a nice dinner, but at the end he said he was thinking maybe we could have a more traditional relationship with 500 per week allowance. I told him I’d think about it and eventually said no because that wasn’t what I was looking for.

  89. SweetChoc191 says:

    @KennaKenna ebccc412
    @Lainey Yes, I actually watched it online a few days ago! It was interesting lol

  90. Lainey says:

    @KennaKenna as I am VERY traditional, because of my upbringing, I’m curious to know what you mean specifically by “what you can offer.” In other words, what do you think I’d important for a SB to bring to table?

    Also, has anyone seen True Life:I’m A SB? Lol

    @TimSD my child is neither a bastard nor is the SD I’m going shooting with old. He is in his 20s. As I said before I attract a lot of SDs under 40.

  91. KennaKenna says:

    @Josh okay I won’t talk about it anymore. I am curious to see what a therapist will tell me though so I’ll definitely schedule that appointment.

    I just ordered the Christmas cards, yikes no turning back now!

  92. KennaKenna says:

    @Dazed SD no offense taken, I’m sorry if I came across entitled or spoiled. I’m neither, I’m not even a diva but I do like nice things and I love sugar.

    As I said before I have never NEEDED the money, I joined this site because I like older, powerful men and enjoyed the benefits of dating a man with needs. I know this may sound like a generic thing SBs say but I really do know what I can offer my SD and I just like my efforts rewarded.

    For those reasons I try to attract a SD who is looking for constant attention(at least twice per week) on a long-term basis who has more than enough to spend. I have gone on many first meets with pot SDs that turned out to be nothing because I know exactly what I want.

    So @SweetChoc191 if you are not in NEED of money, relax. It took me about 3-4 weeks of meeting and talking to pot SDs before I met the one that was right for me.

  93. Josh says:

    I am not too crazy about popping pills. So I go thru natural therapy first. For me weight gain and stress have been the culprit. With either one, the sex drive goes way down.

    This is why I have been advising @K to work on wrapping her head around the symptoms and cures instead of “talking about it”, which tends to be women’s weapon of choice to sabotage their relationships.

  94. Dazed-SD says:

    @Kenna, now please don’t take offense to this,,promise,,ok then,,when you first started posting you sounded very entitled and even a little to spoiled. I just wanted to confirm my thoughts, that you were very young.

    Kenna, I had nothing to be ashamed of back then, so why not admit it. I was buying out my business partner, going through my divorce, and just got full custody of my then 4 year old daughter,,quite frankly, getting a boner was the last thing on my mind,,LOL after everything was said and done, and life relaxed again,, the wood returned to normal. In fact I kind of went crazy with it for awhile…new found freedom can be a wonderful thing LOL

  95. KennaKenna says:

    @SweetChoc What’s your profile info again?

  96. SweetChoc191 says:

    @KennaKenna Hey I edited my page a bit and followed your advice. What do you think of it now? I’ve gotten more views and 1 new message so far. But nothing exciting yet lol
    @Josh What do you think about it Josh?

  97. KennaKenna says:

    Right I wanted to say even though I’m exhausted and miss my alone time, I will be a happy camper and see him again tonight as he requested.

  98. KennaKenna says:

    @Dazed-SD yes, thank you. Most men would never admit they’ve dealt with ED. He told me when the quarter is over, he should be back to normal so hopefully.

    Btw, I’m curious as to why you asked me my age yesterday.

  99. KennaKenna says:

    I am so exhausted. SD sent me flowers today as it is a new month saying “I really appreciate you and all you do for me, I know I’m not an easy person to be with and I have my quirks so thank you for sticking around. Check your email, I just sent you a quick pay. Buy something nice for yourself and nothing for me.
    Love always,
    Xxxx

    He is the sweetest sometimes, it’s like he reads my mind. Things like these make me forget about the whole ED issue.

  100. Dazed-SD says:

    @Kenna,, especially from a man thats been there ! :)

  101. KennaKenna says:

    @Dazed-SD yes I understand that. i didn’t say our sex life was great- I said the sex was great when we did have it.

    We’ve never had tons of sex, because as you say- his mind is always on work and he’s constantly working or extra tired.

    Yes, I definitely don’t want him feeling embarrassed about this or feeling pressured to perform. This is why I tried to tactfully bring up the Viagra subject.

    Thanks for the advice, it’s always nice to get a man’s opinion.

  102. Dazed-SD says:

    @Kenna, I understand you realize you have a pretty good thing going with this man. I don’t think anyone has really talked about this yet, if they have just ignore my comment. You mentioned that not to long ago, the sex life was great, then all of a sudden, when the pressure really got cranked up at his work, the ED started kicking in ?
    I know from personal experience sometimes higher income men have to deal with the ED issue, especially when the pressure to perform at work gets cranked up. I will give you some hope. If he is typically a healthy man, this problem will more than likely pass.

    I think one thing women sometimes over look, there’s a price to pay for having a high income partner/SD/BF/Husband. It’s not all roses all the time
    and ED is only one of them.

    One more thing, by talking to him about it, he feels embarassed, which adds more pressure,, thats the last thing he needs right now. I understand your young and horny but, (I’m not saying your not), for right now be compassionate and understanding. Any man that treats you the way he treats you, deserves no less.

  103. SexyRockstar says:

    @ Lorelai

    Sorry, I can’t find your previous post about on what he gave you…but how much did he give you already? There are great ways on asking an SD for more money without sounding like a gold digger…but few things:

    -Add up all your bills together.
    -Decide what you can do by yourself, you should NEVER rely on an SD to pay for everything
    -Then decide if it’s too much, if you are able to have another SD. I am not a fan of having more then one, but a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do.

    So, how much did he give you, what did you two decide on the allowance should be?

  104. lorelai says:

    @josh @online newbieSD thanks both for your answer, just checking this post during the early morning. Josh my english isnt that good cause my native language is spanish, This potential sugar daddy is a CEO ,he is some kind of old and he is retired but still working in his company, investment company in canada, I dont know what is much to ask as I have many bills, he said he will give me the rest of the allowance that i asked to him next date, but it is just to cover my basic bills, rent,transport,etc and a few gifts as I mentioned before.. I have some loans to cover as well, do you think i should talk with him about this or better in which way a sb should mention this topic.. I dont want to look like a gold digger , shall i go slowly or in which way to make him comfortable, what do you think guys, thanks so much in advance for your answers

  105. SexyRockstar says:

    @TimD
    Maybe YOU should focus on dying in a fire..just saying <3

    @Online
    How far away are you from New Buffalo? Mama maaayyyy hit the casino sometime this weekend. I have zero comedy gigs lined up, so I want to play. Win some money.

  106. Josh says:

    @Elaine

    I know that the municipalities hate me but I flush mine down the drain OR keep an eye on them if I know that the SB would be leaving before I do.

    If we’re there for overnight stay then every condom goes in the drain. Sorry municipality folks.

    If I am going to flush it then there’s no worry. But if I am not going to flush them because I don’t want the drain clogged, then the condoms go in the rooms’s wastebasket.

    There’s no way in hell that anyone is taking that condom along with her or doing anything with it while we’re together.

    All said, since I am not in the ultra high net yet, I have not lost sleep over a few times I have left the condoms in the bathroom wastebasket.

  107. Elaine says:

    @SDs

    Just a thought that came up…

    We have been talking about sperm jacking.
    Would you, being a very high net worth SD, ever leave used condoms in the hotel room?

  108. Josh says:

    @TimD

    Hmmm, give me a reason why you should be allowed to post here any further.

    @Kirsten, do you agree that the above hateful post must be removed, and this poster must be given a stern warning to refrain from making such posts in the future?

  109. TimD says:

    Nobody cares nor asked about your fantasy stories, Lainey. Shouldn’t you be focusing on your bastard child instead of shooting guns with old men?

  110. KennaKenna says:

    @Josh ohhhh! Now I understand, that’s why you said take 300 out of my allowance.

    Thanks for the advice but I think I need to think about this one long and hard…

  111. Josh says:

    @K

    You are not taking him along dear. You’re going by yourself.

  112. SweetChoc191 says:

    @Josh Why thank you…And yes am working on editing the profile. Just uploading a better pic.
    @Lainey Thanks for the words of encouragement. Best of luck with your SDs.

  113. KennaKenna says:

    Yes exactly that’s what I’ve been trying to say all along @Lainey.

    Ahhh I am happy for you, good luck with the new SDs.

  114. Lainey says:

    All of my new POTs have been absolutely amazing, but because I’m looking for ONE SD is been hard to pull the trigger and begin arrangement with one. This week will most likely help me decide. Going shooting tomorrow with one, although we spent all day today together, dinner on Wed with another, 2nd lunch date Thursday with one I met this weekend, then first meets with 2 that are eager to start an arrangement.

    With that said, don’t look at being AA as a disadvantage. Be educated, beautiful, independent, articulate, drama free, and “reasonably” submissive and then you’ll see being AA as an advantage because those qualities will make you a part of the FEW among MANY.

  115. KennaKenna says:

    Relationship counselor?? You mean a sex therapist??

    He will never agree to that.

  116. KennaKenna says:

    @Josh haha LOL

  117. Josh says:

    Where to start? Use $200-$300 from your allowace and book a session with a top notch relationship counselor, specializing in the kind of situation you are in. Get a MALE psychologist/psychiatrist.

    Ask him for resources to read up on.

  118. Josh says:

    @K

    You’re a smart young woman. Research how to reduce work-related stress in your man’s life without jeopardizing his edge in his fiscal game. Then educate us too. LOL!

  119. KennaKenna says:

    @Josh hey there, let’s just hope the viagra works before I have to think about all these options. He said he is reaching out to the doctor in the morning. Of course, I didn’t say I would leave him if Viagra didn’t work.

    How do I go about “reducing stress” if all the stress is coming from work?

  120. Josh says:

    @SweetChoc191

    You diction is good and your silhouette is intriguing. I am sure @K can fix you up. Get rid of smart ass angle about sense of humor. Just say something like “I find sense of humor sexy” in a more flirty way than the way it is currently written.

    Best of success. You can do it as you seem to have a better educational base to start off with.

    See this is what happens when you focus on education in high school. LOL!

  121. Josh says:

    Explore the possibility of him using the toys on you as part of the sexual act.

    I know it sounds weird but there “maybe” strap-ons for men as well. But this MUST BE explored as pretty much last resort after you have explored everying else and you two have tried other options.

    The bottomline is that you must work as a team to get over this hump instead of repeatedly getting into the situation of him being embarrassed.

  122. Josh says:

    @K

    You mentioned that your SD is worried that if Viagra did not work then you might leave him.

    This is where you need to assure him that Viagra is one of the approaches to start off with. There could be other medicines and herbs that money can buy from around the world. Reseach such options for him.

    Reducing stress in his life is another solid approach.

  123. KennaKenna says:

    @yougottabekiddingme yes I think so but may have a lot to do with him being embarrassed about the ED as well. Sometimes we are intimate, it just doesn’t lead to sex.

    He just fell asleep watching the game and working on his laptop so a lot of it has to do with him being tired and stressed. I went in the other room earlier, he could tell I was in the mood and before I couldn’t even initiate anything he just said ‘I am drained, not tonight babe- maybe tomorrow?’ :(

  124. Uh oh…

    I hope I didn’t open a can that anyone should feel at a disadvantage because of their race. What I meant is that you have to BE the exception. When you ARE the exception, you projected exceptional energy, and attract exceptional suitors. No chips!

  125. Josh says:

    @K

    Thanks. Josh Guru is happy for her, and thanks for helping out dear. :)

  126. KennaKenna says:

    @Josh she replied, she is okay.

  127. May I ask, Kenna…

    Aside from the ED, is he stimulated to have sex? Like, is his sex drive affected?

  128. KennaKenna says:

    @Josh I just texted and called her, no answer! I hope she is okay… she said dinner then going to his place so maybe they’re still hanging out.

  129. Josh says:

    @SassySB

    Are you alive and well?

  130. SweetChoc191 says:

    @KennaKenna Thank you for the feedback. I just feel so lost in terms of trying to revamp my page to attract possible suitors. And then being black I’m sort of at a disadvantage. I’m not the best with my words…. :( Do you have an email where I could talk more about this?

  131. KennaKenna says:

    @yougottabekiddingme we had sex this weekend and it was great. I just want more now, I’m ovulating as well so extra extra horny.

  132. KennaKenna says:

    Also your photo isn’t good at all. I understand you don’t want your face online but use a photo where you can clearly see your body and figure and blur/crop out the face.

  133. I get lots of messages from guys from out of state but visiting my neck of the woods. It is hard to find a great guy locally and the ones actually who are from out of town are much better for some reason and more generous. I just wish there was more consistency with a local. But have yet to find my match.

  134. KennaKenna says:

    @SweetChoc your profile is too generic in my opinion. You are black like me and unfortunately there is a stereotype associated with being black.

    Think long and hard, and use more creative and sophisticated language rather than sentences just pieced together.

    You want to have a SD at the edge of his chair when he reads your profile and so excited to contact you. You need to draw him in and your profile isn’t doing that right now.

    You are just an undergrad so stating you need someone as educated as you is unnecessary in my opinion.

    Also, speak to the man you’re trying to attract. For example, I always try to attract a more dominant make who is looking for a SB to make him feel like King so I speak of things like my undivided attention and being available within a short moment’s notice.

    Good luck.

  135. “KennaKenna says:
    December 1, 2014 at 6:19 pm
    SD is asking me to go home with him after the game but I miss my bed and want to go home and make love to myself and have about 10 orgasms.”

    Make love to yourself and have about 10 orgasms with him lying there next to you. Let him slip you a finger or two.

    Once the sun rises, it’s a day of missed orgasms that you’ll never get back :(.

    Gonnnnnnnnne forever.

    My only philosophy in life is, “come before the sun does.”

    [sighs]

    It might be time for me to have sex with an actual person. Lol.

    Didn’t hump that local boy last night, by the way. Nope. Your suggestion worked, Josh! Pretended we were in a long term “We’re married, but it’s cheaper to keep ‘er” relationship. But not sure now if I want to hump him at all anymore. Yeah, marriage might’ve been over-kill :/.

    Gonna see my long distance lover soon, though. Fuck his lights out, indeed :).

  136. SweetChoc191 says:

    @KennaKenna ebccc412

  137. KennaKenna says:

    @ONSD how long were you looking for a new pot SD?

  138. KennaKenna says:

    @Sweetchoc when you click view your profile, it’ll look like this in the browser.

    Seekingaerrangement.com/member/XXXXXXXX/view

    Tell me the numbers/letters after member.

  139. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Kenna – I don’t know, but I wish I could get through them to find the actual pots on the site!

  140. KennaKenna says:

    So back at his place now and I’m just here in the couch watching TV while he is watching the Jets game in the other TV. Why did he want me to come over again?

    Ugh.

  141. KennaKenna says:

    @ONSB how do you find all these bad pot SBs?

  142. SweetChoc191 says:

    @KennaKenna Where do I find my profile number? Sorry for asking so many questions. Thank you so much btw :)

  143. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    Un-effing-believable…exchanged about a dozen messages on SA with a pot. Exchanged text numbers because we scheduled a coffee meet. She bombs me with sexual pics and asks my thoughts on her body, etc. I say she looks great, can’t wait to meet her. She asks me for pics. I send one from my profile and one other that I have for sharing. She compliments me. Then she asks for my real name and I told her that comes with an arrangement, because I’m married. She his me back almost immediately with a text that says I’m all about a business transaction and sex for money.

    What the fuck?!

    I’m guessing now she was really a fat Russian guy trolling for pics to stroke to.

  144. KennaKenna says:

    @SweetChoc yes profile number

  145. SweetChoc191 says:

    @KennaKenna what do you mean by profile info? Like profile number or …

  146. KennaKenna says:

    SD is asking me to go home with him after the game but I miss my bed and want to go home and make love to myself and have about 10 orgasms. 😐

  147. SouthernSB says:

    @KennaKenna-The old fashioned way, I make people talk to me on the phone.

  148. KennaKenna says:

    @SweetChoc What’s your profile info?

  149. SweetChoc191 says:

    @KennaKenna Is there anyway you could view my profile and provide me with your honest opinion or feedback? It would be very much appreciated :)

  150. SweetChoc191 says:

    @KennaKenna It is kind of near Nashville. I did some editing over the weekend and uploaded (what I think is) a better photo. I’m still getting a lot of views but now I’m getting requests to view private images but the guys aren’t sending messages….

  151. KennaKenna says:

    @SweetChoc191 I’m unfamiliar with that area but maybe try editing your profile, switch around photos, etcetera.

  152. SweetChoc191 says:

    @KennaKenna Hi and thank you. I am in Knoxville, Tennessee. I just don’t know what to do lol

  153. KennaKenna says:

    @SweetChoc191 which city are you located? That could have a lot to do with it.

  154. Josh says:

    @KennaKenna

    “Like right now he is 30 mins late to a hockey game, he said he’ll be here in 10 mins and even though I’m annoyed I won’t break his balls about it when he gets here.”

    Smart move. 😉

  155. Josh says:

    Hmmm, it seems that this blog is turning into a black, AA, mixed, women of color, other, etc., SB advise column. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. 😉

    Girls, it is not YOU…

    Maybe there is just too much supply of certain type of SBs and not enough demand for the same?

  156. SweetChoc191 says:

    I really need help with my profile. I know I’m not ugly, yet I get a lot of views and no one writes me. I am a 23 year old black female with a full time job. I’m also a college student with no kids or baggage. Please help!

  157. KennaKenna says:

    @SouthernSB wait, what? How do you survive? Lol

  158. SouthernSB says:

    @KennaKenna-Believe it or not, I happen to be the last living person on the planet who doesn’t own a cell phone.

  159. KennaKenna says:

    @SouthernSB better to whine on here than to your SD.

    I always try to be super happy, cheerful and positive when I’m around him. Like right now he is 30 mins late to a hockey game, he said he’ll be here in 10 mins and even though I’m annoyed I won’t break his balls about it when he gets here.

  160. Also @all blog SDs – What percentage of your monthly income would you say you spend on your SB (allowance, gifts, outings, etc.)?
    I assume that a smart SD wouldn’t spend more than about 10% of their net, but I would love to know what you all think.

  161. @resop2 – I very rarely give permission to SDs to view my private photos without an accompanying message or a wonderfully written profile…and I expect them to be willing to grant me access to their private photos. If I wanted to grant every SD access to see my private pictures, they wouldn’t be set as private!
    Personally, I feel like most SDs who request access without a message aren’t serious about meeting and I don’t want to waste my time.

  162. Josh says:

    @SouthernSB

    I am not sure if you are “just a whiner”but you are a typical whiner of female variety alright. 😉

  163. KennaKenna says:

    My SD asked me what if the Viagra doesn’t work- he said he feels as if I’d leave him if it doesn’t.

    -_-

  164. KennaKenna says:

    I will need to email you later because I’d have to create a special email for this purpose. If you want to text me at my temp number, we can do that as well. @SouthernSB

  165. SouthernSB says:

    Plus, it would be nice to have another woman of color to talk to.

  166. SouthernSB says:

    @Kenna-That’s why I wanted to exchange e-mails, because I wanted to tell you a little more about myself and my situation, and I didn’t want it all on the board. Then perhaps you could give me a little advice on what I could put in my profile. I can’t put my life story on the board because Josh would say I’m just a whiner and also I don’t want to bore the other posters. It’s all kind of confusing to me, probably because I’m getting too much conflicting information. Anyway, if it isn’t too much trouble could you e-mail me? I’d really appreciate it.

  167. KennaKenna says:

    @sexyrockstar I’m fortunate to have never been in a situation where I NEEDED money, i left home pretty young and my parents supported me through college and grad school.

    And I only got into sugar because I was babysitting for a couple and the guy came onto me, and then he started spoiling me with gifts and got me an apartment A couple blocks from him as he wanted to be with me more. He is the one who changed me, I was a naive nerd with big tits for my small frame.

    After I left him, I was already in the world of sugar and being spoiled so I just continued looking for SDs. This is my 4th SD including the aforementioned guy (sometimes I don’t count the first one).

    But, I’ve been on several meetings with many other pot SDs who just didn’t make the cut. And not because I am entitled or anything, it’s just they weren’t what I was looking for.

    With that being said, I don’t know if I’d ever date regular- this works for me and I kinda just stuck with it.

  168. KennaKenna says:

    @sexyrockstar I’m about to be 25 but I’ve never had a real bf or dated regular guys. I lost my virginity to a SD and have been in the sugar world ever since.

  169. SexyRockstar says:

    I guess when I started to Sugar, I did it because I NEEDED money. I stepped away from Sugar, because well, I have used sugar to grow my own business….except, I can’t stand dating men normally. Sugar spoiled me. I went on a bunch of dates with some interesting men ((i’ve posted some great stories)) just to go back to my SD.

    How old are you if you don’t mind me asking

  170. KennaKenna says:

    @SexyRockstar I used to live there when I lived in Chicago, I have since relocated to NYC but you are right, I should have bought a place. There wet condos in my building in ’10 for 300k.

    Sadly, I was more excited about having 50 chanel purses and tons of shoes 4 years ago than I was about owning a property. Since then I bought a studio on Chestnut, 2 blocks away from the Drake for 182k that pays for itself.

    I am in the process of convincing my SD to make the down payment on a place for me here in NY but everything is super expensive.

  171. KennaKenna says:

    No jealous issues, my Boss is gay and married to a guy and SD knows this as I’ve shown him in pics.

    On another note, I decided to grab a bite to eat and a few drinks with a girlfriend after work and a married SD attempted to get my number. He’s still trying lol.

    I’m beginning to wonder if I’m screaming “Sugar Baby” by the way I look.. I’ve been told I look like 18, and I’m wondering if a pair of Loubotins and a chanel purse with a fur coat may seem like “She def had a sugar daddy because no way she could afford those things on her own”.

    He actually asked me if my boobs are real, who does that?
    But to all the NYC SBs, SDs are everywhere, more in real life than on this site.

  172. SexyRockstar says:

    I am excited to see my SD. He is visiting me in a few days.

    And…I think it was Kanna? You have an apartment on Michigan Ave? Why don’t you just buy a house with that huge rent payment? I used to rent in Schaumburg…not as expensive as Michigan Ave, but now I own in Schaumburg. My town home is HUGE. HAHA. But I am a huge fan of turning Sugar into a much better life and use that money wisely.

    I do stand up comedy and just recently there was an after party show, and it was in the Trump Towers. I was in love. HAHAHA. One day I will be so famous I can live in there!…well, once the kids are in college and such.

  173. Josh says:

    @lorelai

    What specifically are you seeking help with dear?

  174. lorelai says:

    @josh , are you there, oh I really need your comments about my current situation

  175. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @lorelai – as @Josh and others have stated in the past…the only right answer for the sugar you receive is that both you and your SD are comfortable with it and he is able to continue it.

    From a SD looking for the next great SB, if I heard in initial communications about phone and clothes and took care of those, I would expect to hear about the next line of bills or needs to continue the arrangement…

    This is why I prefer an allowance to the support…when we can set an amount it is easier for me to “budget” and “hide” being a married SD, when it’s gifts and/or bills, it is more difficult to deal with variable amounts.

    YOU need to decide what amount feels good to YOUR for what he’s asking of you…if you think you need more, gently mention you feel he’s asking for more than you’re willing to give at this level of sugar…

    …BUT…

    …since the guy now knows where you live, tread lightly and make sure others know to watch for the vehicle so there’s no creeper stalking you! I JUST had an introduction today for work because of a stalker stealing someone’s identity…it’s not fun to deal with!

  176. Josh says:

    @lorelai

    Without knowing more about you or about him I cannot say the the amount he has spent with you is “much”, OK or not “that much.”

    One thing is for sure…that is, your English is not good? Only you can tell why is that so.

    As stated earlier for the first few dates, until trust is built, it is better to say away from his or your places of residences.

  177. resop2 says:

    @josh and @ONSD thanks for the tips!

    Since no SB responded I will just assume that if I have zero interest in meeting the SB then asking for permission to view her private pics is okay since the worst she can do is say no.

  178. lorelai says:

    Ok thanks for the answer!my english isnt that good, hope you can understand me!

  179. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    Since it appears the pot is flaking on coffee this afternoon, I went through my searches to see what looks new…here’s the headline of a new profile in my “practical” search:

    “Broke With Expensive Taste”

    She’s 20 and looks like that might be a stretch. The rest of the profile wasn’t as horrible as the headline…but…her pics are not great to sell the better writing in the rest of the profile:

    Profile pic is hips to nose with a slight glare, bare midriff cami and maybe printed yoga pants…slight smile, but could be a sneer?

    Second public pic has her hair in what appears to be dreadlocks with a possible schoolgirl outfit with thigh highs, seated, showing knee to chin so I can’t even see if she’s smiling.

    Why write a decent profile and ruin it with a bad headline and horrible pics?

  180. lorelai says:

    Again for Josh and for the rest of you guys maybe you can give me some advice, that was how I met him, he invited for lunch so we went to a nice restaurant but not with very hight prices, I was suspicious but he seems interesting.. so I tough I will see what happen..I was clear with him and he was clear with him, talking about the intimate part of the arrangement.. I said to him that I needed some new clothes and to my phone bill , so he took his credit card and payed my phone online, then we went shopping and we bought clothes for 700 dollars, first he said we will go to a big mall but we eneded up in the one that I wanted then he said we could go to the other boutique, he said that he will leave for a few moments so I can picked my clothes , I did it very fast and when he came back he was surprised that i have already finished, he said I guess we dont needn to go to other shop, I agreed but I really wanted to go to the other one.. then he gave me 200 dollars for my time he said and i went back home, * i let him drove me, but maybe as you said it wasnt a very good idea, he let me 300 metres from home I went to the supermarket cause Im afraid he could have followed me, so after your post, do you think it isnt a good idea to give my address right”É i toguht but maybe i let him came really close to my house , what do you think”””
    3 days we met each other and he gave me 600 dollars after spending some time together, you can imagine what kind of time.. I need to pay so many bills that I accepted.. now he wrote me a text that he has 1000 dollars ready for me.. well thats the story , can you give me some suggestions” I know the money it isnt that much, I have a lot of debts and loans to pay, do you think i should let him know by next date about them, and they are over 1000 dollars, what do you think, what do you recommend to me”

  181. Josh says:

    @lorelai

    “Hey Josh ‘ i have been reading your post about safety, such a given guy you are with those amazing advices , Thanks so much, Id love to keep in contact with you and have some good advice”

    Thanks. Ask questions anytime.

    “Im new with this, may I just met my sugar daddy, I have met a few before, but they were so fake..and time wasters”

    I don’t know what you mean here. Please explain! Thanks

  182. Josh says:

    @ONSD

    I never block SBs.

    Just don’t respond if you don’t like them. Better yet, explain the protocol to them.

  183. KennaKenna says:

    @ONSD yes, on to the next one! If she doesn’t respect your time now, she won’t in the future- another entitled SB who thinks you need her more than she needs you

  184. Josh says:

    @K

    Good points raised by @ONSD…my additional angle is potential jealousy or competition.

    If your SD has not-so-good relationship with your boss at this time or no relationship at all, he “may” look at it as some kind of competition. Maybe not…but I thought that it should be considered if only to be dismissed.

  185. lorelai says:

    Hey Josh ‘ i have been reading your post about safety, such a given guy you are with those amazing advices , Thanks so much, Id love to keep in contact with you and have some good advice as Im new with this, may I just met my sugar daddy, I have met a few before, but they were so fake..and time wasters

  186. KennaKenna says:

    @ONSD he does not know my boss at all, I work for a pretty big hedgefund and his friend that got me the intervies is in a whole different department. My SD is a VP of a tech company and I’ve told him stories about my boss before so I know they absolutely don’t know each other.

    That being said- I am still going to invite him to the game, as well as see him tomorrow to have dinner and put up the tree as well as sleep over Thursday night and go away with him, and don’t forget the Christmas cards.

    I really do think I deserve many sugar-coated brownie points after this week of seeing him six days and the only reason it isn’t 7 is because he cancelled on the Rockettes!

  187. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    I’ve been emailing through SA with a pot and she missed the 1-hour confirmation message for a scheduled first meet coffee…she sent a message a bit later that she had a funeral she had to attend. I decided to forgive that, even if I didn’t completely believe it (I would have checked my calendar and communicated the funeral need BEFORE the first meet time)…She just sent me a message about two hours ago, asking if I had time for coffee today. I responded Yes…the message hasn’t even been opened according to SA. I added another message an hour later with my throw-away text number to see if that would speed communication, but I’m beginning to believe this 22yo isn’t very reliable (even after my initial communications talked about keeping communication flowing and being a reliable partner in the relationship).

    Do I just block and ignore now?

  188. Josh says:

    @OnlineNewbieSD

    “but does that mean I’m taking over as guru 😉 hahaha”

    If you continue to talk sense then more power to you my friend. The Guru will then take the back seat and enjoy the ride. 😉

  189. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Kenna – this could actually be a test, if boss has any connection to SD (since you started working there through SD connection)…even if it is not direct connection, could be through the office channels!

    If you do NOT, make sure you have a GREAT reason (like not his team and it IS your gf team) and tell him you got them…

    If you are backing out of his other plans on “maintenance” issues, you’re also treading on thin ice here (pun intended). If you needed to get things done for travel in December and now you’re jumping at the chance for this game without him…could be viewed as a problem.

    If he had plans for you tomorrow, and gave you an out for Rockettes later in week, taking him would be a grand gesture and might earn you some added brownie points (or sugar at least).

    There’s my two cents!

  190. KennaKenna says:

    So my boss just gave me club level seats, center ice to the Rangers game tonight… Should I invite my SD?

    Even though the Rangers isn’t his team, he is a big sports fan and watches every game that’s on regardless so I know he’d love it and be impressed I got such good seats.

    Hmmmm…

  191. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Josh – thanks…but does that mean I’m taking over as guru 😉 hahaha

  192. Josh says:

    @resop2

    I was going to respond to your post but @ONSD nailed it in more detail than I was going to. 😉

  193. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @resop2 – I have private pics in my profile…I do not request unless I’m willing to give permission…when a SB with private pics requests mine without granting me permission, I reply that I’m happy to give permission when permission is granted, as I feel it’s common courtesy for the requesting party to begin the revelation process. If I get a request from a SB to view my private pics and they have no pics in the profile, I send a message that I do not reveal my pics to someone without any pics available. If an SB requests and has a few pics public in her profile, I go to the rest of the profile to decide if I think there is enough to move toward a first meeting…if I’m not going to meet them for coffee, there’s no point in granting access to the private pics!

    Although, I have found the process for requesting and granting is a bit backwards…I will usually request access from the SB profile, since it takes me to the message screen, where I can click on the gear and grant access to mine and continue with a personalized message. If I grant access, I’m taken to the message screen and there is no option clicking on the gear to request from the message screen.

  194. resop2 says:

    Quick question:

    As a SD I feel uncomfortable hitting the “request permission to see private pictures” button on a SB who I have not made contact with. Would that be a huge turn off for a SB? Would they immediately feel entitled if they give me permission? What do you SD/SB’s think?

  195. Josh says:

    @ONSD

    Some bloggers have the idiotic style of coming up with gender-neutral ids and then post gender-neutral posts.

    As expected, most of them are women so I ass-u-me them to be women until corrected otherwise, which has not happened yet. :(

  196. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Josh – you took the other perspective…when @Comment said it was the SD request and then thought the SB would want to memorialize that long a relationship, I interpreted @Comment WAS the SD…if @Comment is the SB, I’m confused as well…

  197. KennaKenna says:

    Well I should say PhD progam is on pause as I’m trying to get some real world experience.

  198. Josh says:

    @Comment

    Your posts are confusing. If your married SD wants the pictures to “memorialize the relationship” then he is an idiot.

    Methinks that it’s YOU who want the photos and, as any hot blooded woman would, want him to want them as well.

    Fess up as to what’s really going on.

  199. KennaKenna says:

    @Dazed SD age is just a number but I am about to celebrate my 25th birthday but I’m not like regular 25 year olds which is probably why I prefer more mature men.

    I was a complete nerd and went to college 2 years early then did a MBA right after now I’m in a PhD program(yes, I’m aware I’m an overachiever) so not at all the type of girl you’d suspect to be in the sugar world. In fact, my parents would bet their life savings that I’d never be on a site like SA.

    But yes, I’m 24 and know I talk a lot lol 😛

  200. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Comment – I’m remembering lines from the movie “Hall Pass” (I think) where the guy physically makes a noise like a camera to take “mental pictures” of the hot women in the bar…if YOU want to memorialize the relationship, after three years I’m intrigued why you don’t feel comfortable enough to simply ask. If you’re wondering why she might or might not want to memorialize the relationship of that length…I guess it would probably depend on her “real” relationships…maybe she’s had a boyfriend all along and chooses to ‘use’ sugar rather than memorialize it. She may not feel comfortable asking due to the married status.

    As a married SD, if a SB asked for pictures together to keep for herself, it would actually raise a cautionary flag…WHY does she want pictures of us together? WHAT might she do with them (regardless of what she SAYS she wants to do with them)?

    All I see is someone using the pics to take advantage of the situation (and I’ve had three relationships that lasted over 2.5 years each)…none have pictures of me with her…I have pictures of two of them (some with me, some without).

    I’m also not a big sexter either because of putting the pics out there public.

  201. Dazed-SD says:

    @Kenna,,how old are you ?

  202. Comment says:

    No purpose other then to memorialize the relationship. It has been over 3 years. I would think the SB would want something like that. I don’t know that is why I am asking.

  203. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Comment – is there a specific purpose or reason for the request?

    @Kenna – would your decision to have photo taken change if you knew there was a specific purpose for the photo? Just asking because of your Christmas Card comment above with a single SD…

  204. Comment says:

    SD is.

  205. KennaKenna says:

    I took photos with the married SD I was seeing, I’d say it is the SD’s preference. I have no reason why I’d object to a SD asking for a photo together, married or not!

  206. Josh says:

    @Comment

    Who is Interested in the pictures, SB or SD?

  207. Comment says:

    How about pictures together with sb and sd in picture together with married sd?

  208. Josh says:

    “the king gets what he wants.”

    Within reason of course, LOL!

  209. KennaKenna says:

    @josh yes I guess no harm in Christmas cards. Again the king gets what he wants.

  210. KennaKenna says:

    @Elaine yes I detest people who use the race card. I wouldn’t even put something like that in my profile. I’d just ignore the AA and Asian responses I got.

  211. KennaKenna says:

    @comment I’m comfortable with photos especially ones taken in public setting or fully clothed. My SD has about 300 photos of me in his phone but none where I am nude and showing my face(it’s usually either/or) and no video either…

    For his birthday last year, I surprised him and paid a girl to have a 3some with us and she was comfortable being on video so we made a video. I controlled the camera and while I was editing it later, I excluded scenes showing my face and later gave him a copy of the edited version.

  212. Elaine says:

    @ Kenna

    No, but you are not the type to play the “racism” card if something doesn’t go the way you wish, at least that is my impression of you.

    I find that everybody should date whatever race he or she likes, without feeling guilty or being ridiculed.

    That was why I published this part of a profile, it is sad if people have to walk on eggshells because of these kind of preferences.

  213. Josh says:

    @K

    He is single and considers you a GF of sorts and introduces you to certain people as such. Denying sending Christmas cards together could be risky.

  214. KennaKenna says:

    @southernsb what’s your profile info? What exactly do you want from sugar and what do you have to offer(in laymans terms)?

  215. KennaKenna says:

    @Elaine I don’t date African American or Asian either. In fact, I’ve only ever dated/hooked up with white men. I love mid 40s WASPy men.

    Everyone has a preference and we are allowed to be selective.

  216. Josh says:

    SassySB

    Please make sure that you communicate with the volunteers and have an understanding as to what they are supposed to do if they don’t hear back from you at 10 pm Eastern Standard Time.

    Be safe and have a great sugar time.

  217. KennaKenna says:

    After some back and forth texting with SD, I now understand why he wants to see me tomorrow. He wants me to help him put up his Christmas tree.

    He also said he thinks I should choose a photo for when we send out our Christmas cards. My response was “Oh, we’re sending out Christmas cards together” and he said “Yes, well at least to the friends he has introduced me to”

    I personally don’t know how I feel about this new demand, it feels very strange.

  218. Elaine says:

    “Out of respect I prefer dating OUTSIDE my African American an Asian background….I have been ridiculed and maliciously verbally assaulted on this site for expressing my preference. I really wish people could respect each others reasons for who they decide or feel comfortable dating. I do not wish to offend anyone nor do I want to be offended myself for choosing whom it is I wish to date.”

    This is part of a profile I just saw.
    Isn’t it sad people have to mention this upfront to avoid being harrassed for their preferences??

  219. KennaKenna says:

    Thanks to all of you guys, all the different opinions really help and get me thinking.

    @josh I don’t mind him wanting me more of Viagra is in the picture, at least then I’m getting fucked. The sex is quite good when he is able to keep the peen hard.

  220. Josh says:

    @Kennakenna

    Putting him on Viagra “may” cause him to want you even more. 😉

    I think it’s just a phase. Ride it well and make as much as you amicably can.

    He’s neither your husband nor boyfriend. So put up with his demands as long as you want to.

    You seem like a smart and articulate woman. Hopefully you will be able to convince him to do things your way…in time.

  221. Elaine says:

    @ Kenna

    “Have you ever had a SD that wanted to see you 6 days every week?”

    No.
    My arrangements are all long distance, and that creates other kind of problems. :-)
    Like them being travelling and very busy men with a family, so the challenge is more to find ocassions to be together as occassions to be not.

    I agree that he should respect also your “you” time, as he would be supposed to do in a “normal” relationship too.

    But I think both you guys have problems to decide in what kind of relationship you are finding yourselves.

    And there it becomes tricky, because to a bf it would probably be easier to say you want an evening for yourself.
    But he is your suitor… paying you very well to be available to him.

  222. Josh says:

    Interstating approach @ONSD. You hit two beer bottles with the same stone. 😉

  223. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Comment – I know you asked SBs, but I’ll answer as a married SD. I had a SB who liked to be “on camera”. My policy was that I controlled the pics, they were never taken with her camera(s), only mine. If she wanted to watch or see something, we had to be together. It made for some fun times together, and still ignites some great “memories” since we’ve ended things. As with most every issue, it’s going to boil down to the people in the arrangement. As a married, my only demand would be the control of the pics, so I had control of the publicity of the pics…

  224. Comment says:

    SB’s how do you feel about a picture of you and your sd together even if he is married but you have been together for over 3 years. Would you feel comfortable or awkward?

  225. Josh says:

    “he only uses the GF card when it is convenient to him.”

    😉

  226. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Kenna – Not being there to see inflection and body language leaves me at a loss regarding the Rockettes tickets…but…if I had a SB who has been looking forward to something like that for an extended period of time and I had something come up, or wasn’t really “into it” I’d encourage her to go with a friend…in fact, my wife is a HUGE fan of a singer/group that I just don’t need to see any more (I’m not a concert fan, hate drunk stupid mob mentality) so she knows, if she wants to go, I’m fine with it, as long as she finds a girlfriend to go with.

    The inflection and body language also goes for the conversation about Christmas…although, as a married SD, my SBs would not have to worry about THAT invitation 😉 …have you talked about YOUR family with him? Has he asked to be introduced to your family?

  227. KennaKenna says:

    @Elaine I am genuinely attracted to him and love his company but don’t you have your personal time? Time to do what Elaine wants?

    Have you ever had a SD that wanted to see you 6 days every week?

  228. KennaKenna says:

    @oNSD you’re right, he has become more demanding. For example, he is insisting I spend Christmas with him and his parents in their 80s. I would have loved to spend Christmas with my own family in the Caribbean but again I am giving him this without a complaint.

    Anyways brb guys, I have a meeting I’m running to.

  229. Elaine says:

    @Kenna

    No.

    First: because that is not my lifestyle expectation range
    Second; because I don’t see an allowance as a “pay per x meetings” but as my lover being happy to “keep” me.

    So for me a fixed monthly allowance is not related to how often we meet. Sometimes once a month, sometimes every week, sometimes just one night, sometimes more days in a row.
    Who would complain about being with a man you really enjoy being with, in nice places, high end hotels and super restaurants?

    So because I am genuinly attracted and happy to be with them, WE MEET AS OFTEN AS POSSIBLE!

  230. KennaKenna says:

    @ONSD let’s hope he did call the doctor, I gently reminded him after I got out the car this morning so hopefully, fingers crossed.

    That would actually make me very very excited but he probably just wants company for dinner and to watch the hockey game. We also had plans for Wednesday to go see the Rockettes on Broadway(I’ve been excited to see them for 2 months) but he said he didn’t feel like going and he’ll give me the tickets to go with a girlfriend.

    But of course even thought that made me sad, I didn’t say anything. It just made me realize he is king and still treats me like a SB- he only uses the GF card when it is convenient to him.

  231. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Kenna – you can’t totally take the 5800 in shopping out of the equation…sugar takes the form of mentoring, gifting, cash/allowance, employment, etc. If he’s still giving you 2k per month in allowance after connecting you with a “dream” job that pays well, EVERYTHING is a part of the changing and evolving arrangement.

  232. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Kenna – girlfriend commitment is not “whenever he demands”, remember, as a girlfriend YOU have the pussy power! However, you don’t want to exert too much power since there is significant sugar flowing back to you still…I think the “I’ve got maintenance that needs to get done” should help keep him honest about the overall commitment. But, from past messages, you may have entered the “relationship” zone and I wouldn’t be surprised to hear there were questions and potential pressure for further commitments from you in the near future.

    I like @Josh’s comment above about taking care of the sugar you get from him, investing heavily in yourself and working towards a rental property in your name that would be yours and pay for itself.

  233. KennaKenna says:

    And @Elaine take the 5800 amount out of the equation and let me ask you the question this way:

    Let’s say you had a SD for 1 year seeing him 2-3 times per week for a 2k allowance. Would you be okay with him changing the arrangement to 5-6 times per week with the same allowance?

  234. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Kenna – that’s the right attitude…and I’m sure, if you said something like, “I was hoping I could get some maintenance done so I’m better prepared for all of our plans throughout December” he would be perfectly fine with things…

    But remember, maybe a phone call to his doctor got him a new script he wants to try?

  235. KennaKenna says:

    @ONSD see this is why I’m glad I have this blog to come ask questions. Now I know it’s the right thing to see him on Tuesday and figure out how to do everything tonight after work.

    So girlfriend commitment is seeing him whenever he demands? If that’s the case, it looks like I’m going to be seeing him 6 days per week.

  236. KennaKenna says:

    @Elaine can’t I have a 2 day break? We are traveling every weekend in December and I offered to see him on Wednesday and then again Friday-Sunday?

    But maybe you’re right, I just think I should be entitled to some personal days to take care of myself(manicures,waxing,etc.) and he knows I can’t do it during the day because I’m at work.

    But I am very grateful to him and I give him complete exclusivity as in I won’t even give a regular guy I met in real life my number. He gets all of me, every single last piece he wants- my mind, my body and all my attention, .

  237. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Kenna – I was feeling a bit like @Elaine after reading your post…you’ve talked about having feelings for him, and that if the ED was not in the equation you would not have a problem with the situation…you’ve been introduced to friends and colleagues as the girlfriend…and you’re probably in the top 5% of SA’s SB pool on compensation…If you didn’t like the girlfriend routine, you should have had the conversation after the first time. Now he feels he has you as a girlfriend and expects a girlfriend commitment. (In my opinion)

  238. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Private – she sounds like she wants a boyfriend, not a SD…even the most shy pot SB I’ve talked with had no problem reaching out to me between the time we started talking, set the first meeting and just after to see if we were going to discuss an arrangement.

    If you are comfortable “chasing” her and compensating her for the chase, I think more power to HER…but that wouldn’t make ME feel like a king, it would make me feel like I was at home, continually chasing my wife.

  239. Elaine says:

    @Kenna

    “I’m upset… After 4 days in Vermont this weekend with SD, he says he wants to see me tomorrow night!!! Isn’t that unreasonable”

    No, to me it doesn’t seem unreasonable, didn’t he just gave you 5800 dollar to shop?
    Any idea how many hard working hours that is for most people?
    2 months or so?

    Sorry but you start to sound a little entitled …

  240. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Kenna – If I’m being completely honest, all but two fizzled within the first month…primarily because of communication issues…I’m not an ATM to be contacted when there’s a bill due, I’m a lover meant to be seduced and teased when we are not together.

    I actually almost changed my profile to become “that guy” that was here for the quickie and hit-it-and-quit-it, but it’s just not who I am…I long for that physical connection (even if it is just in my head because she’s playing a role and being compensated for that role). However, I did end one arrangement after two meetings because I completely felt she was faking EVERYTHING. There’s that fine line as a SB where you need to make the SD feel like a king, but, you can’t make him feel too much like a god or it becomes disingenuous and can turn the SD back toward feelings of ATM for an overacted role.

    I have had two relationships in the past where we communicated like you mentioned (text each day running up to time together with less and less clothing – or similar) with a random message about something that reminded her of me or a time we were together if we didn’t have something planned…those were the two that I hold as the standard for every other relationship. My third long term relationship didn’t have the same type of communication, she would text to talk and we would have a verbal conversation rather than a text or email conversation.

    For any new SB, ask about communication procedures…can you text/email during the day? evening? weekend? what about pictures? are phone calls off-limits?

    Starting with one attempt each day to touchbase with the SD will let you know where he’s at on the communication spectrum…I don’t want “nagging” emails, but I do not mind flirtation or teasing. As has been stated before, leave your baggage OUT of the communication with your SD, unless it is directly related to something you are working on with the SD (like employment opportunities)

  241. Private says:

    It’s not that she isn’t communicative with me when I initiate almost always gets back in a timely manner and we have playful fun banter but no sexting because she is uncomfortable with it. Also on a personality basis she more on the shy side and has always said she is the one that likes to be pursued. I take that all into consideration but I do agree on a day of gratitude, I expected and needed to feel good about my support for her and her family, boyfriend or not. I guess we will be having a talk. Thank you all!

  242. KennaKenna says:

    Oh and another question… What are good christmas presents for a SD?

    Last year I got him a Rolex winder for his watches because he has mentioned he wanted a bigger one but I have no idea what to get him this year.

  243. KennaKenna says:

    I’m upset… After 4 days in Vermont this weekend with SD, he says he wants to see me tomorrow night!!! Isn’t that unreasonable?

  244. KennaKenna says:

    Get bored with*

  245. KennaKenna says:

    @ONSD wow all fizzled within the first two months? I’ve never had that issue, I’m very busy and occupied usually but everytime I had a SD, I’d talk/text him at least once per day and sometimes I’d feel like I was bothering him or taking away from his family time.

    But yes @Private she should have reached out to you on thanksgiving especially if you guys have been together so long.

    Maybe I’m weird but I can’t not talk/text a guy all week and then the one day I see him it’s all about the sex and the sugar. It makes me feel very weird.

    But maybe it’s me who is weird because I need contact during the days leading up to the time we had together. The one SD that I had that was married, I was creative and sent him a photo everyday(during the day when he was at the office) so Monday would be fully clothed and everyday leading up to the day we would meet the photo would be less revealing so of course he replied and conversation was easy.

    That’s another thing, I can’t be with someone I get bored of at dinner. Again, I may be too picky but if conversation isn’t flowing at the first meeting/date, then I would never see that person again.

  246. Josh says:

    @Chit Chat

    Since the story is another figment of your fertile imagination for you “book”, you should totally throw yourself on the guy. Make an arrangement. Take naked pictures of the guy and send to the girl.
    Then complain in the book how behind times this girl was.

  247. Josh says:

    Chit chat chit chat.

  248. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Rebecca – if I found a profile for the wife of a friend…or the girlfriend of an acquaintance even, I would block the profile and forget I saw it (although, to be honest, I’d probably try to see if she had naked pictures, I am a guy)…I would NOT address the situation with the guy…and I certainly would not let her know about the connection!

  249. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Private – Almost every pot I’ve met on this site has fizzled, in my mind, within the first two months of engagement…one sent me a text every Monday morning, “when can we meet this week?” and she thought that was enough communication – probably because all she wanted was her cash.

    I’ve had three relationships (none met through SA, all met through other real world interactions) that lasted over two years apiece. In ALL cases, they were frequent with communication to me (knowing I was married and might not be able to respond immediately) it was probably 90% initiated by the SB…the occasions I initiated communication was typically an extremely stressful day, or something that happened in my day made me think of her and I wanted her to know she was on my mind.

    Above comments can be said a different way…if she isn’t treating you like a king, she might be looking for her king…if YOU have to initiate too much, it’s more like a supervisor checking in on an employee, rather than sugar (in my opinion).

  250. marissa says:

    Joined the site today and excited to get started!

  251. KennaKenna says:

    If I were you, I’d ignore him and keep it to myself*

  252. KennaKenna says:

    @Rebecca I’d ignore him and keep it to yourself. No good can come of it If you ever informed her, she’d be miserable and sad if she found out.

    And just because he is on this site does not mean he doesn’t love her, men are sexual beings and he may just be craving a new piece of ass.

  253. Rebecca says:

    Well, this is a small world. A guy contacted me on SA. He is actually the fiance of a girl I know. They are both young, in their 20’s and planned to be married next summer. :(

    Should I inform her anonymously or keep it to myself?

  254. Chloe says:

    Thanks for the advice and suggestions. I am aware that I do not know everything about this site, nor have been on SA for long and actually used my account.
    I do not take anything personally, I can’t. I work within the marketing field. LoL. As you know, they are many proofs and versions created within the world of marketing. Perfection does not happen immediately, but through trials, examples and editing.
    @Josh I never stated I was upset with you, which would not make any sense at all. How could I be upset with anyone, when I am asking to be critiqued/advised? LoL. That is pointless.
    In addition, I have never use the “race” card for any downfalls of my life. Therefore, I would not start doing so now. I am proud of who I am, and the woman that I have become. Race does not matter to me; it is all about an individual.
    Again, thank you everyone. I just do not like to give it up. As I enjoy perfecting what I start, not just half-way doing something. I revised my profile once again. LoL.
    I believe I have not over analyzed and provided an idea of who and how I am through words.
    Have great night everyone! 

    P.S. If have typos and etc, excuse me. It is late and I have quiz to complete.

  255. @Private- I think the amount of communication between an SD/SB is wholly dependent on the relationship dynamics. I personally prefer to have my own life separate from an SD, so I don’t like constant communication (as in NEEDING to talk/getting offended if I don’t answer right away), but I do make the effort to reach out to my SD consistently, especially on holidays and special days. There could be a million reasons she didn’t text you a “Happy Thanksgiving!”, but if it’s a persistent issue (as in you have to do most of the conversation initiation), I’d bring it up in conversation. Have you asked her or explained that it bothered you? And while I don’t think there should be a set split of what should be an acceptable level of initiation, I do think the SB needs to initiate more or at least reciprocate attempts made by the SD. Personally, if I’m not excited to contact my SD, it’s time to move on.

  256. Josh says:

    @Private

    Sorry about being too blunt but as an SD, just turn around and read my post from your point of view.

    If she is not treating you LIKE A KING then dump her and find another SB who would.

    Best of success!!!

  257. Private says:

    Thanks.

  258. SassySB says:

    @Spoonfuldeazucar @KennaKenna Thanks so much guys! I’ll text at 10, since the date starts at 8:30pm tomorrow :)

  259. Josh says:

    If you are worrying about this shit as an SD, then you are fucked up. :(

  260. Josh says:

    @Private

    Are you an SB or SD?

  261. Private says:

    Sorry to clarify this from an SD perspective.

  262. Josh says:

    @Private

    You’re an SB not GF. So YOU do most of the work, and as @KennaKenna suggests, treat him like a king.

    “how much time in between dates is healthy level of communication between sd/sb that have been together for over 2 years?”

    Who is questioning, you or him? As long as he is interested in you and is living up to his end of the bargain, why do you care?

    “How would you want the initiation of text/emails be split % wise?”

    80% initiated by SB, 20% initiated by SD. Get over yourself.

    “should the sd be offended if he did not receive a Thanksgiving wish, seeming that the day is about gratitude and she is wholly dependent on him.”

    Largely irrelevant question. But if he is anal, then make sure that you give him such wish.

  263. flyR says:

    Not sure if it is offensive not to have sent a Thanksgiving note or text but it is always good to do it.

    I think it depends on the balance between sex and personal relationship. The SB with a boyfriend probably would feel guilty texting her SD while she was with BF family.

  264. Private says:

    Hi, was wondering how much time in between dates is healthy level of communication between sd/sb that have been together for over 2 years? How would you want the initiation of text/emails be split % wise? Also, should the sd be offended if he did not receive a Thanksgiving wish, seeming that the day is about gratitude and she is wholly dependent on him. Thank you!

  265. Kennakenna says:

    @sassysb my temp number is six4six694zero4zero3. I’m local and completely understand so if you want me to text you to check in, I could.

    Good luck tomorrow.

  266. flyR says:

    Without getting too morbid about precautions on a first encounter there are a lot that are really basic.

    Even if you are panting to jump his bones, unless you were fully able to verify him (not SA verification) don’t meet in a non-public place (you can go to the hotel later) . If you are going to break the rules better your hotel room than his.

    Don’t drink too much or do drugs with a stranger (duh). Thankfully CA and other state laws got tougher regarding the use of date rape drugs although CA just lowered the penalties for possession of date rape drugs.

    Finally I am a great believer in Krav Maga and other martial arts for women for a number of reasons, self defense, conditioning and confidence. You do not need to win a fight just get a little space and time. It’s also a lot of fun in the right program and a great confidence builder. Incredible exercise Lots of value far beyond Sugar

  267. Sassy- spoonfuldeazucar at gmail — I can give you my number through there if you’d like. I understand your position!

  268. Kennakenna says:

    @SassySB single NYC SDs are the most generous! I say get his real name, keep it interesting and start the arrangement.

    My situation I’m in right now started like that and took of. UWS is pretty safe, I live in that area…

    When he gives you the address beforehand, give it to a friend and as Josh said text her when you get to his place and leave there (and more important let him see you text/call your friend).

    Good luck and I hope everything works out.

  269. Josh says:

    @Ladies…help out a sister in need. 😉

  270. SassySB says:

    Re Josh’s comment – I don’t have anyone in real life who knows about this new SB foray and no one who would respect it, so whom can I tell? Does anyone have a throwaway number that they wouldn’t mind me texting tomorrow evening as a check in that I’m alive? I would hugely appreciate it.

  271. @all – Hi there! I finally had some time to catch up on blog topics recently. :)
    @OnlineNewb – I have received some messages/private photo requests from blank profiles as well, recently. I can see it becoming irritating!

    On a completely irrelevant note (to the rest of the comments), I fell in love with a new fragrance and a few [more] handbags today. My Christmas wish list is quickly becoming an unruly, very expensive monster! I hope you all have a happy holiday season!

  272. Ladyscarlett says:

    “SexyRockstar says:
    November 30, 2014 at 10:06 am
    Wow I missed a lot.
    @YGBKM
    I just don’t find Indians attractive. Can’t do it.”

    I am responding to your other post as well. In regards to Aziz Ansari, he is cute in a goofy way, I guess…You probably find him attractive, due to his humour. A man who does not take himself too seriously with a good sense of humour makes his attractiveness points go up a little in value 😉 I agree with some of what you said, as I had the same experiences in the restaurant I worked at many years ago. But, there is still very much a caste system in place, so the more educated and westernized are better, but still different. Did you know in Europe that ‘Asian’ is the politically correct term for ‘Indians’, since it is meant to reference the continent. Calling someone an Indian that is from India is frowned upon there. I suppose you mean you like East Asians? I can understand that fetish (: also, I suggest you look up Raza Jaffrey, sexy rockstar…he is a mix, but often the most attractive are a mixture (:

  273. Josh says:

    @SassySB

    Well, use whatever a relevant, and be careful. I don’t take my SBs home so I wouldn’t be able to advise with that.

  274. SassySB says:

    @StruggleIsReal The full shebang – full allowance, full sugar 😉

    @Josh – He’s single (not a married SD) with a nice penthouse on the UWS, so I think he wants me to go there…I can’t really say that it has to be a hotel without putting him off, can I? And how can I casually check the phone as soon as I enter the room?

  275. gtt_envy says:

    Giving 1.2MM condos as gifts……..well just call me Thomas :)

  276. Josh says:

    *Ouch…I have 3 number 11s. 😉

  277. Josh says:

    As far as safety I think most of it is commonsense stuff. Here are some pointers that may work for you:

    1. Stay in public places.

    2. Even if you are going intimate, stay at a high end hotel in a busy part of town.

    3. Make sure that at least one person knows where exactly you are going to be between certain time and that you will confirm with him/her right before you meet this person, and right after you depart from the meeting.

    4. They are to call you within certain time interval right after your end of meeting.

    5. If your meeting runs longer, make sure that you call/text your confidant right in front of your SD so that he knows that someone else is fully aware of your whereabouts.

    6. A decent man would respect you for that. A crook would be bit worried, if not totally disappointed.

    7. Park a few blocks away in a busy spot and take a cab to the hotel. This will prevent you from going to the parking lot with him because he wants to “walk you to your car” and/or be potentially followed.

    8. Go somewhere else right after the meeting before you head home.

    9. As soon as you enter the hotel room, scan it quickly for anyone else’s presence. “Nice room” followed by female curiosity to look in the closet and bathroom should serve the purpose.

    10. If you don’t drink too often, or have only consumed alcohol in open vessels, familiarize yourself with the sound of freshly opened wine corks and beer caps. If it sounds funny (previously opened), don’t drink.

    11. Better yet, come up with liking of weird wine/beer flavors and bring them along with your. An expense of few dollars would potentially save you from the alleged “Cosby moment.”

    11. Keep the bottle(s) and glass(es) within your sight all the times. No retiring to the bathroom while drinks are being consumed.

    11. Stop at 1-2 drinks.

    12. Practice speed dressing top, bottom and shoes, and bolting with underwear and purse. Better yet, lose the purse in the trunk of the car.

    13. Practice yelling from the top of your lungs if needed.

    14. I should have mentioned earlier in the list, but here it is. Ensure that the room phone is working, and how to make call to the front desk. Ask some innocuous question of the front desk clerk.

    15. If you are paranoid enough, and have a good support system, bring your confidant along who waits nearby. Make it worthwhile for him/her to provide you personal security.

    Relax and have a good yet cautious time.

    Best of success in the sugar world. We want happy, safe and prosperous sugar babies to recruit more sugar babies. 😉

  278. Josh says:

    WOW! The previous one was indeed a SB soup-maker type. LOL!

  279. StruggleIsReal says:

    @SassySB
    That sounds like a pretty great first pot date! Good job grasshopper! :)

    What exactly do you mean that he wants to “start an arrangement tomorrow”? Like he wants to meet again tomorrow and start exchanging money and dates regularly tomorrow? I think that before you move forward with this, you should know his real name. I mean, DEFINITELY before you are intimate with him, if that is to conspire.

    I think that he put that amount of money forward for a coffee date without you asking says a lot. But yes, you don’t want to be fooled by that into making unwise choices. You are smart to ask here for advice.

    Explain more about what starting the arrangement entails and perhaps we can give better feedback.

  280. SassySB says:

    @Josh No, this is someone different – I didn’t meet up with that guy, because he insisted on meeting in a hotel lobby, wouldn’t even tell me what he was wearing, and didn’t give me a cell number.

  281. Josh says:

    @SassySB,

    Is this the one from “prominent American family,” who is “single, and a CEO” or different?

  282. hockeychick says:

    LOL lainey I just died haha

  283. SassySB says:

    Hey guys! I’m here for a safety tip – I had a first meet with a pretty great seeming POT yesterday and he wants to begin an arrangement tomorrow. I don’t know his real name, but he seemed intelligent, educated, and nice – he also seemed genuine, he offered me ‘cab’ money as we left the coffee shop (I requested a coffee shop meeting because I wanted the first meeting to be casual – even though he had originally suggested a luxe lounge).

    When I unfolded it, I realized it was $400. That said, I don’t want to be blinded by hope of what seems like an amazing arrangement (I found him intellectually and physically attractive) and end up SB soup. Any tips for how to stay safe without putting him off?

  284. Josh says:

    @y

    “You mean pretend we’re married.”

    No, that would be an overkill. Your libido would go into a permanent vegetative state then. 😉

  285. Ah…

    You mean pretend we’re married.

    Très intéressant…

  286. Josh says:

    @y

    “How do I turn off my libido?!?!”

    Think of him as you have been together for several years. Your libido will go in instant hibernation. LOL!

  287. Omg! Local guy and I are going to the theatre to see a play.

    Laineeeeeey!!!!!

    How do I turn off my libido?!?! I’ve already had 2 thoughtgasms!

    I’m gonna have to masturbate 5 times before I leave the house! Maybe 9…yeah, 9 times :/

    omgomgomgomg

    Maybe I should put foil in my underwear. I think that might work.

  288. SouthernSB says:

    @Lainey-Ha!! Too funny!! Had to read it two times, I never was fluent in Ebonics. Hell my mother made us both read and enunciate.

  289. KennaKenna says:

    Lmao! I just fell out my chair laughing @Lainey.

    Hahaha! I’m still chuckling…

  290. Lainey says:

    Lol @KennaKenna.. *pops lips* “soooo umm Pookie aint pay his child suppOTE this month. You gots dat daddy?”

    This WILL be the message I send my next POT LMAO

  291. KennaKenna says:

    @yougottabekiddingme as a minority, I completely agree. you will have success if you are a sophisticated, educated SB who can fit in nicely- those are in high demand.

    This is why I’m thankful I am highly educated and not categorized in the usual AA stereotype.

  292. Josh says:

    @yougottabekiddingme

    “TSD said that nearly a whole yesterday ago, sweets.”

    I didn’t feel like responding to STD at that time. I was busy. 😉

  293. TSD said that nearly a whole yesterday ago, sweets.

  294. “StruggleIsReal says:
    November 30, 2014 at 10:44 am
    Wowzers.
    I wrote my profile on my own, with only a very minor self-inspired edit or two (grammar, spelling correction, etc.). I don’t have a photo up and nearly every message I receive is about “Wow, what a profile. I really get who you are … !”

    I completely agree, and have similar experience with my profile. That doesn’t mean that everyone starts out that way. I think that Chloe is at a stage where she’s not quite figured out what this site is, and what it means or could mean for her, and I say that based on what Ive gathered from her profile. I think that there is advice that can be useful in helping to navigate that space, even if merely the perspective or insight of others. I mentioned paying it forward, but I didn’t mean in a linear sense. I’ve never gotten advice on my profile, but Ive gotten helpful advice in other areas. It can sometimes be the case that people need help in the profile area, and I don’t see any harm with steering them in a better direction. This has kind of worn me out though, and I think that maybe pasting the link to the profile q&a might be more ideal. Ultimately, though, the profile has to be a reflection of the person in their own expression.

    Chloe, I think that one of your biggest hangups is that you entered the sugar bowl with the expectation that you have to sell yourself/paint a picture of yourself as sexually desirable, but you seem to lack diversified experiences and expressions with which to do so. These are areas that you’ll need to develop in order to be successful here or on any site, really.

    I’m not sure of what your original post was here on blog, and I didn’t see your original profile. I’m also not sure if it was your profile in question regarding race. That last blog topic stopped loading on my phone, and became difficult to follow. From your posts that I have seen, you seem polite, and appreciative of the advice that people have offered. What I will say (and I really don’t mean any offense to anyone) is that you have to set yourself apart, as it’s one thing to be a minority in this arena, yet another thing all together to be a minority who isn’t put together, and comes off as typical or stereotypical. I’m sorry to say, but in the sense of majority preference, it is true that you come to the plate to bat with one strike already against you. So with your first two swings, you have to knock the ball out of the park.

  295. Elaine says:

    @Lainey

    “My boobs are only second best to my eyes/lashes.”

    Hmmm, maybe then you should better use an avatar with your eyes on it?

  296. @Lainey & @ Kenna

    That sounds like a sugar relationship to me.

    Is the difference that it is a dual relationship that didn’t start out as sugar?

  297. Josh says:

    @TSD

    “Who’s the bigot, Josh?”

    YOU are my dear. Instead of responding to my posts directly you chose to insult homosexuals because I ass-u-me that in your miserable life if you call a man around you a “homosexual” you are able to irk him to the level of your convoluted liking. You tried that with me…failed…and got called on by other bloggers.

    As far as the rest of your rant…your reading comprehension is severely challenged…work on it. In the current context, read some of @OnlineNewbieSD’s posts above and figure out why. 😉

  298. Josh says:

    @Lainey

    “My boobs are only second best to my eyes/lashes.”

    Yes they are! :)

  299. KennaKenna says:

    @Lainey it started as an affair and turned into a sugar relationship. He is the reason I moved out of my dorm and into a luxury condo on Michigan Avenue. He also bought me my first couple of Chanel purses and gave me a weekly allowance.

    But you maybe right, that it may not be considered a sugar relationship. I was just trying to say I’d never been in a relationship with a guy who was not spending money/giving me an allowance.

  300. Lainey says:

    @Kenna there is a difference between a sugar relationship and the type of affair you had with your “employer”.

  301. Mya says:

    This is a Very Silly Blog lol, New to SA and its pretty Slow But hopefully i Find someone to sing a Tune with.

  302. “KennaKenna says:
    November 30, 2014 at 9:59 am
    @yougottabekiddingme Out of town work trips with him coming back on Saturday nights. One of the wives were complaining that when her husband goes to California or Vegas, he always spends an extra day to go “golfing” with his buddies and it can be frustrating… -_-”

    Ha. Sounds like another poker face moment.

  303. StruggleIsReal says:

    Wowzers.
    I wrote my profile on my own, with only a very minor self-inspired edit or two (grammar, spelling correction, etc.). I don’t have a photo up and nearly every message I receive is about “Wow, what a profile. I really get who you are … !” I am at no lack for SDs, pots, etc. and I am naturally and easily able to deliver even more in person than the image my profile paints.

    As others have mentioned, I am concerned that this massive offering of advice that is being given to @Chloe is counterintuitive to the sugar-bowl. I truly mean no offense to her, but isn’t this us basically “building a person” (LoL… makes me think of the “Build-A-Bear” brand) that doesn’t really exist? I have given a tidbit of advice before but honestly there’s only so much I care to give, as I feel people must find their own true selves and learn to emote and express it accordingly.
    I enjoy the people who express themselves genuinely. It doesn’t always have to be a text-heavy profile either. I have been intrigued by SDs who wrote a lot about themselves and what they want, and also by ones who detailed very little but imparted very much with those few words.
    Just saying…

    I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving and are enjoying the following weekend.
    As many of you, I have been so busy and hardly able to keep up with emails let alone getting on here. Sending all of the board lots of gratitude, love, and lust! 😉

  304. KennaKenna says:

    @josh you’re right and I will keep that in mind. Thanks.

  305. KennaKenna says:

    @Elaine @Sexyrockstar thanks for sharing your experiences!

    I have only had 1 married SD and that was a longgg time ago. We didn’t meet on SA, I was babysitting and tutoring his kids. I’ve never had a non-sugar relationship lol or even a real boyfriend so this is all very strange to me and I don’t have the “in real life bf experience” to compare it to.

    And the love aspect is very confusing as well. I love and care for him deeply but I don’t get butterflies or sprint to my phone when he texts/calls.

    I don’t know. I need some alone time to sort out my feelings and reevaluate my goals.

  306. Josh says:

    @KennaKenna

    “I just want one in my name especially since his last gf ended up with a 1.2mil condo.”

    You have mentioned the other gf getting a condo a couple of times. keep what he did for her separate from what he is doing for you. You don’t know what she did for him exactly and why he rewarded her with what he did.

    Wishing a property on your own name is one of the women’s wishes. Earn your rewards on your own account otherwise you will be frustrated.

  307. @SexyRockstar

    All is well, Sexybite! It’s like that sometimes.

  308. KennaKenna says:

    @Josh I thought the same thing. I see him enough as it is now because I end up sleeping over most of the time during the week. I will sit and think about this long and hard.

    He pays for my rental now which is 5200 and I get buying in Manhattan is super expensive so I wouldn’t mind taking a condo in a different city. I just want one in my name especially since his last gf ended up with a 1.2mil condo.

  309. Elaine says:

    @Kenda

    “Have you guys had a SD for longer than a year and then the dynamics of the relationship slowly changed?”

    Yes, am in the middle of such situation, and it is probably going to finish because of this.
    He seems to think he doesn’t have to “pay me for it” anymore!
    But really!?

    Sad thing is; he is so attractive I WOULD gladly date him IRL.
    But this is NOT real life!
    We are in an arrangement!
    I have other requirements for a real life bf.
    He shouldn’t be married for example … 😉

  310. SexyRockstar says:

    @Kenna

    My SD and I have been together for over a year. He moved far away, I broke things off, but he’s made the effort to visit me on special days, such as my birthday.

    He is the ONLY SD that i’ve had to know I have kids and such. Sometimes, it will start off as just a sugar thing, but him and I do say I love you to each other and we mean it. He recently moved back closer to me, still out of state, but we are crazy for each other. I’ve never had an SD to treat me as well as he does, not even in the cash sense, but he does respect me. He’s young…but married. it does it hard because he is going back home to his wife and such…but they don’t have sex and he is still with her because of the kids. I would NEVER EVER expect him to leave her for me. But yes, I fell in love with my SD

  311. Josh says:

    @KennaKenna

    Moving in with him is a big NO NO. You will have to find another way.

  312. KennaKenna says:

    Has this ever happened to any of the SBs on here?*

  313. Elaine says:

    @Josh

    “That is, we are creating a persona for her that looks good on the website to attract SDs.”
    “When she is with a POT she is going to be on her own, and will most likely screw it up at least a few times”.

    This is exactly what happened when I helped a SB correcting and writing her profile.
    That is why I don’t do it anymore, I only give general advice and it is up to the SB if she thinks it is usefull and uses it or not, but in any case she has to do it in her own way and with her own words.

  314. KennaKenna says:

    @Josh yes I’m having that back and forth discussion with him. He said he would consider getting me a condo if I moved in with him and rented it out.

    The problem is I don’t want to move in or at least I’m not ready. I’ve never lived with a guy and I like my own space. So I’m thinking of another solution that will work for both of us.

  315. KennaKenna says:

    Marriage has never been on my agenda as well but in the last couple of weeks my SD/BF asked me if I’d liked to be married someday and it got me thinking, if it were the right man- it’d be good security so I said maybe if I met the right man… He asked ‘so I couldn’t be that man?’
    I’m so confused with this guy, he is already planning trips for next summer and winter…How does he know we will still be together?

    When we met his SA profile said he was looking for a NSA arrangement but he has slowly changed and now is very attached.

    Has this ever happened to any SBs on him? Have you guys had a SD for longer than a year and then the dynamics of the relationship slowly changed?

  316. SexyRockstar says:

    Wow I missed a lot.
    @YGBKM
    I just don’t find Indians attractive. Can’t do it.

    I am so worn out from Thanksgiving. I went shopping over the weekend, hopefully I will see my SD this week. I miss him :( I had bought him some things so I can’t wait to give it to him. He is a drummer and Guitar Center had some kick ass stuff. He spoils me, and I like to get him things too. I bought some sexy lil things for him as well to wear for him.

    I seriously will never Black Friday shop at a toy store ever again. I basically bought my kids everything possible for Christmas…but dealing with all of that. Ehhh, not worth it.

  317. Josh says:

    @KennaKenna

    “I think I deserve another reward. Am I greedy? Lol”

    If the reward expectation is balanced out with his satisfaction of what you do for him AND his ability and willingness to provide the reward to you then by all means you deserve it. 😉

    If you can live off of him on daily/weekly/monthly basis then maximize your 401K, IRA and other other investment instruments.

    Instead of trinkets, get him to make down-payment on a luxury rental property–IN YOUR NAME–where your time involvement is merely limited to cashing checks while the tenant(s) pay the property off?

  318. KennaKenna says:

    @yougottabekiddingme Out of town work trips with him coming back on Saturday nights. One of the wives were complaining that when her husband goes to California or Vegas, he always spends an extra day to go “golfing” with his buddies and it can be frustrating… -_-

  319. “I’m glad I’ve been on the SB side of the fence so that if someday I get married I know some of the little things to look for.”

    Do tell, do tell! What are some of the little things to look for?!

    Not that marriage is on my agenda. Just curious!

  320. @Chloe

    I agree with the statements above, and am glad to see that they’ve said everything I was thinking.

    Thing is…you have to embody your profile. If it’s merely embellished, it won’t take you beyond the first date. Your profile should be an extension of you, manifested and evident in your interactions. So, it’s much to do with personal refinement, understanding who you are, honing in on who you want to be, embracing how you want to share yourself, and appealing to the person you wish to attract.

    What comes to mind is a TED talk that I stumbled upon some time ago. It’s about the art of seduction, and an interesting watch for anyone, I think. You can skip the first 3 minutes, if you’d like to cut to the meat.

    [vid]https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=jnS66SszwEs[vid]

    I hope this is insightful!

  321. KennaKenna says:

    @Lainey yes, I always say some of the more powerful/successful women know how and when to be submissive to get what they want.

    @yougottabekiddingme yes I think he will. He made a promise and he is not one to break promises.

    I just met two of his high school buddies and their wives… Quite interesting… I’m glad I’ve been on the SB side of the fence so that if someday I get married I know some of the little things to look for.

    He is beyond impressed at how well I fit in with his tea party friends and I think I deserve another reward. Am I greedy? Lol

  322. KennaKenna says:

    Anyways I said all that to say we may write the perfect profile for you but only YOU know what you want and the type of SD you’re trying to attract so put your own spin on it and be you in your profile. Good luck!

  323. KennaKenna says:

    All you need to do Chloe is speak to the type of man you want to attract, be you in your profile.

    When I was up and running I had something along the lines of “I have a multifaceted personality; way too intriguing to mention all in a few words. But what you’d be interested in knowing of course is that I know how to make you feel like the King that you deserve to feel like, starting as simple as my undivided attention… Sure, I love being spoiled but I love doing the spoiling too.

    And I agree I didn’t use the word sex either- I’d just say ‘Yes I’m lovely and I’m a darling but I’m also your wildest dream come true, only this time in a cute cocktail dress with thigh-highs and a pair of Jimmy Choos.

    And my last point is I’d seem selective but not picky, I’d speak as if I only wanted to attract one man and he’d be lucky to even have me- I’d describe the type of man I wanted and say something along the lines of ‘if I meet that man and the chemistry is right, I’d be interested in helping him unwind, having fun, taking great care of him and keeping a smile on his face. That’s what I believe a great Sugar Baby does.

  324. Josh says:

    I know that @Chloe_101 is upset about my critical comments about her first re-write.

    However, she should understand that her profile is NOT original. That is, we are creating a persona for her that looks good on the website to attract SDs.

    When she is with a POT she is going to be on her own, and will most likely screw it up at least a few times. If her gut reaction were, “he is a racist that’s why he does not want me” instead of “dang, I screwed up again, and I will do better next time,” she will not have too much success in the sugar bowl.

    “Those who are willing and able to own their screw ups will eventually succeed.” Josh Guru

  325. Josh says:

    “Don’t ever say sex.”

    Say s.ex. LOL!

  326. flyR says:

    apologies for the above , auto complete is a bitch

  327. flyR says:

    @Chloe

    You’re probably sick of editing the profile but here are a couple more suggestions

    Cut down on the material about you , not because it not not good but because it dilutes

    I would take “extremely” out of ambitious —– perhaps something that also gives yourself a pat on the back “I am very ambitions and proud of what I have accomplished, mostly on my own. Looking for a partner who understands this and will help inspire me. I expect to received my BA degree this year (( I don’t think you need to say that you are not attending classes but do mention it during your meeting))

    You have a wonderful (awesome) smile and legs to die for . I would use fewer but larger pix.

    It’s easy to think that SD’s are just after sex. My guess is that a fun, low drama, no whine, no anger, to risk of nuclear detonation is also important and you can leave subtle hints along the way.

    I think you add value when you set the bar higher for your sd and especially when passing the high bar is the key to opening your wild cage. Others may differ.

    These are just some fine tuning suggestions, you are well on your way.

    Agree with Lainey on the SEX word . . . . to me that makes it more of a commodity .

    I would talk about one special man (although you are allowed more)

    Good luck and good hunting

    I would put a little more text in the man you are looking for.

  328. KennaKenna says:

    @Chloe I like your profile changes but I’d rearrange some of the information.

    For example you said under ‘About me’ that you’re listing 10 interesting facts about you. Numbers 6,8 and 9 aren’t “facts about you” and I think they should be listed in the “What I’m looking for section”.

    I can give you more comments and suggestions if I know more about what type of man you’re trying to attract (that’s if you want my advice at all).

  329. Lainey says:

    @Chloe_101

    Revise #6. I have a rule. Don’t ever say sex. Allow your innuendos to say it for you

    Also #10 is just all wrong; the message you’re sending, the grammar and its redundant.

    Revise to: space after #9
    “The most important fact about me:
    10.) I’m waiting to hear from you ;)”

  330. Chloe_101 says:

    My revised profile has been updated. Profile number is: 1929149

  331. Lainey says:

    @YGBKM LMAO @ “because I’m stupid babe”.. The mind goes to mush. I can’t even answer questions coherently during “ovulation sex”. I’m like “SHUT UP AND LET ME ENJOY THIS D!”

    On another note Sushi date with POT @ noon. Gotta head to Sephora to reup on mascara. My boobs are only second best to my eyes/lashes. Lol. Looking to try a different brand though. What’s a good waterproof that you ladies use?

  332. @Kenna

    Awwww :D. Happy ski trip!

    Do you think he will still make an appointment?

  333. @Lainey

    Somehow I think they’d have wanted to jump your bones regardless!

    No, not on birth control. I have experienced the sperm craving you mention, though at the time I wasn’t sure why. My partner and I always use condoms, but before I visited him last, he was tested and asked if we could go without them. I got tested, and obliged. So you’d think that withdrawal would be the next course of birth control, but nope. YGBKM goes all primal and asks him to come inside of her.

    What the why??? Primal instinctive stupidity, that’s why! Lol.

    My partner later asked me why I wanted him to come inside of me, and the best answer I could think of at the time was that I wanted to feel close to him, to submit him in that moment. In hindsight, the correct answer was, “Because I’m stupid, babe.” Ha. 20/20

  334. Lainey says:

    @KennaKenna that’s the power of being a woman. Let them THINK they’re in control.

  335. Lainey says:

    Lol @YGBKM are you on BC? If so, you most likely don’t ovulate. BC stops ovulation. But during that week my most primal instincts to procreate kick in and its like my body doesn’t just crave sex, it literally wants sperm. My previous SD and I typically used condoms but when I was ovulating it was harder for me to fight him on the issue which would actually have been the MOST IMPORTANT time to wear them. He always found me more attractive during this week. Generally your pheromones are at their height. Could explain why the SDs dates I did have this week all attempted to jump my bones. Lol

  336. KennaKenna says:

    I’m a happy camper, earlier tonight I got a decent 35 minute session of action, I guess after our little chat about Viagra he wanted to prove he is still the man!

    Then after that I was “innocently” on Saks website looking at their new stuff and he said get what you want and then handed me the credit card.

    5600 in new clothes, I’m smiling and was ready for round 2, sadly he wasn’t. I won’t complain though. The best thing about all this is that he thinks the sex and gifts were all his idea but when in truth I’ve been tactfully nudging him in this direction all day.

  337. @Lainey

    Haha! Breathe, Lainey…breathe.

    I’m actually wondering now if that might be my issue. I’m so far removed from regular sexercise that ovulation seems trivial. Do not ask me when my last anything was, because I don’t damnit know. It seems mostly irrelevant to me as Ive repeatedly failed at self-impregnating. Might need to arch my back more. One of these days, I’ll make history, I tell ya!

  338. flyR says:

    In a recent article in the Economist it is suggested that the internet has been the driving force behind an approximate 30% decline in the “cost” of sex ( I don’t recall if it was adjusted for inflation)

    All the more reason for SB’s to differentiate themselves from providers

  339. Lainey says:

    So new rule. No sugar dates during ovulation. Lol. I find myself wanting to give into the caressing and gentle touches because my body is like “PENIS! GIVE ME SPERM!” (Moreso than usual. Lol)

    Woosah. Self control.

  340. Lainey says:

    @FlyR the fact that you call him “Joshie” is slightly disturbing Lol

  341. flyR says:

    Joshie- My problem is with the juvenile arrogance of beginning a post with

    “””I demand “”””

    I skipped about 10 pages of babbling exchange with no relevance to sugar so don’t infer any connection with that discussion.

    On the abuse of young people there’s very selective outrage by both sides

  342. Thanks, Chloe…I’m glad it was helpful :). You’ve had a great attitude about asking for, and considering constructive pointers, and I think that says a lot about your willingness to learn. I’ve gotten great pointers here on blog and from members, and try to pay it forward when I can. Post once your update is approved, and I’ll check it out!

  343. Josh says:

    @ONSD

    Thanks for your supportive comments my friend.

    @y and @LadyScarlet are cool. :)

    @TSD and @flyR are homophobes. That’s NOT cool. :(

  344. “Josh says:
    November 29, 2014 at 8:25 pm
    @whiskey

    “only jesus can buy this pussy”

    What will Jesus do with the pussy then?”

    He’ll use the power of the pussy to walk on water, of course.

  345. Chloe says:

    @yougottabekiddingme Thank you very much for taking the time to provide me with useful advice and insight about my profile. It was very helpful! I believe I have now created an attractive profile. It is in the approval stage. : )

  346. Josh says:

    @whiskey

    “only jesus can buy this pussy”

    What will Jesus do with the pussy then? 😉

  347. Hahahahahaha!!!

    SexyRockstar…is that you?! Lol

    Thanks, whiskey, for the comical relief.

  348. whiskey says:

    bleh bleh bleh You can all go take your money and shove it up your pie hole because only jesus can buy this pussy

  349. “OnlineNewbieSD says:
    November 29, 2014 at 7:39 pm
    @Kenna – if you’re waiting for drama to die down you may not get any further chance on the blog, unfortunately…seems to be overflowing with drama nowadays ”

    We were on a good stretch for a few days there…almost a week, maybe.

  350. @Newbie

    I actually agree with much of your post. I commented on Josh’s post having not read the Mel link. My mistake for speaking prematurely. I honestly didn’t even read the whole post. It’s still just a bunch a whiny ranting, in my opinion. If you take every single like example ever given by anyone on this blog, read the first and last sentences, they all amount to the same premise and conclusion. Why is it such a surprise or even something to get excited about, most specifically in a space THAT PERPETUATES THE CYCLE?! This particular story does at least provide a different lesson to be taught.

    So yes, I can understand TSDs frustration with recent posts, but she took it to a whole other level with homophobic remarks. Your initial rebuttal, TSD, was rubbish as well. You could have very well addressed Josh making sound points without going there.

  351. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Kenna – if you’re waiting for drama to die down you may not get any further chance on the blog, unfortunately…seems to be overflowing with drama nowadays :-(

  352. KennaKenna says:

    I will exit until the drama dies down. I do want to say that Josh has only been helpful to me, I haven’t experienced any hatred from him whatsoever.

  353. resop2 says:

    A SB viewed my profile and when I looked at her profile I found out that she held the title of “Chief Visionary Angel”.

    I wonder if she thinks that some SD is going to be down with new age mumbo jumbo?

  354. Ladyscarlett says:

    Many men do get falsely accused of rape, this is true, and is extremely sad and can ruin a man’s life, yes…but how many more times are women told to ‘drop it’ or don’t pursue…or, there is nothing that can be done, or victim shaming. Rape is a serious serious violation for a woman, and it can RUIN the rest of her life. And, not to mention the stories of women in Middle East..many women from western countries being jailed for years, due to being raped in Dubai. There are worse places to be raped than US. Imagine being imprisoned or executed for being raped.

    Oh, and there is a new documentary out about young boys being raped and abused in Hollywood by opportunistic people in entertainment biz. That is why so many of those kids grow up with drug and alcohol issues. Rape and abuse is not just something suffered by women. Ask the Catholic Church, too, about their policies of what is to be done if young boys are abused.

  355. Ladyscarlett says:

    “If the pot is in the approval process, and everything will be populated when approved, why not wait for the approval before allowing communication?”

    As far as I know, from the SD side, anyways, an SD has been allowed to send messages before their profile is approved, I believe.

  356. TSD says:

    Josh, you have tried two different times on the blog recently to bring out a hateful conversation about Bill Cosby’s rape victims, but nobody bites because they know how random and idiotic your posts are. You diminish the rape victims to just “gold-diggers” and go into victim blaming. Do you not understand how celebrity, money, and power work (since it is clear you have none)? The women said they couldn’t go forward because they were threatened by him or even laughed out of the lawyer’s office because he was seen as the world’s father figure. I think that says A LOT about how you view women. Josh, get a clue and realize the only bigot on this blog is you and you are in denial. The blog has more women than men and your posts are hateful towards the majority. It is very disgusting to read, but no one calls you out because they’ll never heard the end of it with your passive aggressive posts.

    Just in case anyone wants a reminder.
    1) Allegations against Bill Cosby…well-to-do men should be VERY cautious when dealing with women. Women like Barbara Bowman will stop at NOTHING.
    (no one responds so you try again later on when no one brought up Bill Cosby)

    2) I don’t doubt that Bill Cosby has not done hanky panky in all those years of fame. But rape is a very serious allegation. It must have been reported promptly and the alleged perpetrator must have been tried with the full extent of the law. My message to the 12 (and counting) gold-diggers, who are accusing Bill Cosby NOW instead of when the court of law could have done something about this “sociopath”:
    You have committed grave crime against the other alleged victims. If one or two of you had come forward years ago, then Cosby would have been in jail and the rest of you would have been saved for this “monster.”
    Allegations against Bill Cosby…well-to-do men should be VERY cautious when dealing with women. Women like Barbara Bowman will stop at NOTHING.

    3) No one liked the Bill Cosby story, so you try another “I hate women” angle with Mel Gibson. He is known as a racist, sexist, anti-Semitic pig who punched his wife while she was holding their child. But you paint him as the poor, innocent man who got swindled by another evil woman.

    -Mel Gibson’s lover Oskana comes to mind. She first allegedly refused a $15 million settlement offer from him, and then squandered $375,000 that because she wanted to be on the Howard Stern Show. While on the show she was poking fun Mel Gibson. She should have kiss Mel Gibson’s ass morning, afternoon and evening and should have blown him whenever the fuck he wanted to be blown.
    What an idiot of a woman!

    Who’s the bigot, Josh? You.

  357. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    You’re right @Lady, it was @flyR and @yougottabekiddingme that were attacking @Josh, I’m sorry..it’s sometimes difficult to get scrolled up on the blog when on mobile devices. I’m just frustrated at the perpetual attacks on this forum…repeated personal attacks…the vitriol I read at times is just too much…

  358. Ladyscarlett says:

    OnlineSD…I can comment on whatever and did not attack Josh, lol. I was referencing Mel Gibson and what I chose to comment on him in my post and opinion of him. Thanks for trying to be the blog police, though, dear.

  359. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Lady…I could care less about either of them either…but being directed to a story that shows the real world is just as populated with idiocy as I’m experiencing on SA keeps me connected with reality on here…and reminds me the grass isn’t greener by going back to the real world to try to find my next wonderful arrangement.

    Don’t make it personal by attacking the sharer, or try to infer anything without questioning the “why”, remember ass-u-me nothing (had to steal it @Josh)…take it and use it or ignore it…

  360. Ladyscarlett says:

    @Josh, if you don’t like bigots it might be better to pick an SD example that is not a bigot, like Mel, next time…hehe

  361. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    Here’s a HUGE question…for the SA overseers…who does the training for profile approvals? I just got a message from a new profile, approved on Nov 29…requesting my private photos, just a photo request…there’s no picture for the profile, personal details (ht., relationship, etc.), but no “About Me” or “What I’m Looking For”…

    If the pot is in the approval process, and everything will be populated when approved, why not wait for the approval before allowing communication?

  362. KennaKenna says:

    Well said @OnlineNewbieSD!

  363. Ladyscarlett says:

    Word up, yo.

  364. Ladyscarlett says:

    Oh gosh…’rolling eyes’ as if the goldigger was the sharpest knife in the drawer…my point was I could care less about either of them, and they deserve each other, really.

  365. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    Thanks @Lainey…

  366. Lainey says:

    Word! @OnlineNewbieSD

  367. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @all ripping on @Josh for the Mel Gibson link and commentary…shut the fuck up!

    @Josh did NOT praise Mel for his lifestyle or his views, he was ripping on the golddigger in his life for destroying a deal that would have put her AND HER KIDS in a better life…for not recognizing the way her life was better dealing with his bullshit for the cash…

    thinking a woman who has destroyed her life through pure idiocy does not make someone a homosexual or a closeted homosexual, it makes them perceptive and observant…Whether you believe Mel lives a good life or not, whether you agree with him, his movies, or anything else…recognizing the fact the golddigger in his life was being a pure idiot can be dealt with separately.

    With all the comments about SBs and SDs being idiots, hearing that there are idiots outside the SA “world” is sometimes comforting for those of us who continually debate renewing our membership because of frustration with the marketplace and audience we see…

  368. Josh says:

    And @TSD continues her idiotic line of insults against homosexuals who are not here to defend themselves instead of focusing on Josh who is going to whoop her ass promptly and surely. Hahahaha!

    Her apparent “strategy” is to offend me by calling me–a hetrosexual–a “closeted homosexual” and thinking that I would be offended. That “may” work with men in your life but it does not work with me. THAT is not my shame. It may be yours for whatever idiotic reasons.

    Where do these bigoted idiots come from? Jesus Christ! :(

  369. So, Mel Gibson’s ex does appear to be quite the Golddigger, and clearly falls with the 51-75% of women to whom Josh has an aversion. Still a whiny rant.

  370. @Josh

    I just read your Mel Gibson post. Id dismissed it as a whiny rant earlier, and didn’t read it all the way through. Your post is angry and comes off as hateful as well. I don’t know the story behind Mel Gibson as I didn’t read the link. But TSD has a point in that it’s an unnecessary platform to spout your glorified views.

  371. Ladyscarlett says:

    I’m not commenting on the earlier argument here, but really? Mel Gibson is someone to pity for his gold digging ex wife? I try not to wish ill will on anyone but that guy is a drunk driving anti-Semite and I have no respect for him. A shame as I used to like some of his movies, but to look at him after his drunk driving racist tirade was filmed…he really asked for it marrying her as she even looks like a gold digger and I feel no pity for him except that he has children who had to witness his crazy behavior.

  372. TSD says:

    You’re right. I should apologize. I am sorry if I offended any closeted homosexuals like Josh on the board.

  373. Josh says:

    @flyR

    What’s your beef with homosexuals? Time and again you have insulated this part of SA membership, and when I demanded apology from an illogical blogger you found it necessary to intervene on behalf of the current offender?

    Can you leave homosexuals alone or it part of your belief system to proactively join in?

  374. flyR says:

    Josh,

    Give it a rest, your keyboard probably has warts by now.

    Demand – few here have offered a tiny fraction of your illiterate insults.

  375. TSD, as one who has gotten into disagreements with Josh in the past, I know how strongly opinionated and absurd some of his comments come off.

    That said, you just attacked him by using a group of people in a demeaning way, and in turn attacked them too.

    I do hope that your future comments will contribute to constructive and enjoyable conversation here. However, I think that your last comment should be removed.

  376. Josh says:

    *for dragging them…

  377. Was a bit much, TSD. Hateful in itself, Id say.

  378. Josh says:

    I demand that @TSD apologize to respected homosexual members at SA by dragging them in his/her idiotic post to prove heavens know what. :(

  379. Josh says:

    @TSD

    The last time I checked “sex” was not a banned word here. Hahahaha

    After a big hearty laugh may I ask you to produce a transcript showing that you passed Logic 101 with at least a C- ?

  380. I’m gonna say that it’s not all women to whom Josh has an aversion…just slightly more than half, maybe even three quarters.

    Seems like a stretch to associate with homosexuality.

  381. TSD says:

    Yes, Josh, we are aware again that you hate women deep down by your unneeded Mel Gibson story. You have such a glorified view of men. It makes me wonder if you’d prefer men s.exually since you hate women so much. That must be why you’re on the blog 24/7 because you are struggling with your homosexuality so you lash out at women due to jealously. I think deep down you’d love to be pampered by a man and become his s.ex slave.

  382. “he said he will see the doctor and discuss Viagra when we get back to NY so hopefully that will help.”

    Ah man, that’s awesome Kenna :D. Let us know how it turns out!

    ” I love spontaneous hook-ups and last minute get-togethers. Perhaps I’m too picky?”

    I think I’m gonna work on making that my reality with sir local!

  383. KennaKenna says:

    @yougottabekiddingme he said he will see the doctor and discuss Viagra when we get back to NY so hopefully that will help.

    We are traveling every weekend in December so it’d be nice if I could get some at least once per week.

    Fingers crossed the Viagra works.. I’ll keep you guys updated. I did long distance once, it wasn’t for me. I love spontaneous hook-ups and last minute get-togethers. Perhaps I’m too picky?

  384. “KennaKenna says:
    November 29, 2014 at 11:37 am
    @Josh @yougottabekiddingme yes, she is no longer a friend. It was sad letting her go because she was the only open-minded friend I had that I could talk about SD/SB stuff with…

    But now I have you guys :)

    :)

  385. “But I still miss the feeling of being bent over and fucked nicely. I miss getting my hair pulled and being treated like a submissive slut.”

    I can definitely relate to that. I tried to have that talk with my long distance lover, but I don’t think he gets it. I think I’m gonna try to hold off on the local beau until I see my long distance lover again. Somehow, I feel like our visit will be a conclusive end, which makes me kind of sad. He’s a bit in denial, I think. Thinks that this is just a phase that I’ll come out of and ultimately be his. Maybe he’s right about the phase, but I suppose I’ll only know once I “come out of it.” We’ll have a lovely weekend together, and he’ll fuck me well. And then…well, Ill kiss him gently, and give him my blessing for him to welcome his next love into his life. Ill always adore him.

    It sounds like you’ve reached a near breaking point in that you’ve been supplementing your pleasure for some time now. I can certainly agree that pleasuring yourself doesn’t replace the connection with another person. It can be effective in the interim. Thing is, your situation is a long term issue that may not improve much if your partner isn’t open to options. I think that Josh’s advice is sound in recommending that you try to address the ED. Maybe you could do so passively by leaving some pamphlets on the counter or something. I would think that his doctor has discussed these options with him. Sometimes it takes a little time for people to shake associated stigmas, I think.

    If all else fails, you might have to decide if it’s worth it to you to stay in a sexless relationship :/.

  386. KennaKenna says:

    I agree with you Josh. I make my SD/BF feel like a king. I am very tactful when I disagree with him and never let it turn into a drama/arguing situation. I found out a long time ago I get rewarded more when I’m a nice submissive girl that caters to all my SD needs.

    For example, this weekend we’re in Vermont skiing because he is a big skier, I’m not a big fan of cold weather sports but I dress up like a ski bunny and indulge with him. But every SD is different, the ones I’ve been with loved that aspect of my personality and I guess I structured my profile to attract that type of SD as well.

  387. Josh says:

    @SouthernSB

    “That is the million dollar question Josh, why can’t she?”

    She is history for his life (thank Lord Almighty for him.) So the more appropriate question would be: “why couldn’t she?”

    1. Disrespect of the man of Mel Gibson’s stature, and what he did for her, was doing for her at the time and could have done for her in the future.
    2. Reckless financial/social planning for her daughter.
    2. She may have thought that she could get away with her idiotic behavior.
    3. Plain ole self-inflicted SABOTAGE, which more than 90% of women would deny the prevalence of in the gender.

  388. SouthernSB says:

    That is the million dollar question Josh, why can’t she?

  389. Josh says:

    Mel Gibson’s lover Oskana comes to mind. She first allegedly refused a $15 million settlement offer from him, and then squandered $375,000 because she wanted to be on the Howard Stern Show. While on the show she was poking fun at Mel Gibson.

    She should have kissed Mel Gibson’s ass morning, afternoon and evening and should have blown him whenever the fuck he wanted to be blown, and wherever he wished to be blown.

  390. Josh says:

    @KennaKenna

    “Single guys with no alimony or kids who do well in Manhattan are the most generous and will spoil you rotten if you are a nice submissive girl.”

    And THAT is not the same as bitchy SBs who don’t appreciate what they were getting, and attempt to wrap the SDs around their pinkies, or flat out disrespect him. 😉

    Mel Gibson’s lover Oskana comes to mind. She first allegedly refused a $15 million settlement offer from him, and then squandered $375,000 that because she wanted to be on the Howard Stern Show. While on the show she was poking fun Mel Gibson.

    Her ex attorney allegedly said:

    “Why can’t she just live her life normally and have a good life, raise the kid, live in the house, make music, be happy? Why does she always have to be in a struggle — especially with people who care the most about her?”

    []http://www.tmz.com/2013/01/17/oksana-grigorieva-mel-gibson-lawsuit-lawyers-child-support-negligence-malpractice/#ixzz3KUUa77KT[]

    She should have kiss Mel Gibson’s ass morning, afternoon and evening and should have blown him whenever the fuck he wanted to be blown.

    What an idiot of a woman!

  391. SouthernSB says:

    @VegasVirgo-Ahahaha!!! I never did notice that!! Too funny.

  392. VegasVirgo says:

    Anyone else notice, on the right under ‘recent posts’ it cuts off as ‘ultimate sugar ho’ ? tee hee

  393. gtt_envy says:

    @NSW, maybe so, but doubtful unless she is a hooker attending Tulane lol her social media life sure wouldn’t fit that profile either……..but who knows could have been fooled :) She did a good job if so!!

  394. KennaKenna says:

    @yougottabekiddingme I appreciate the advice. I am in touch with myself sexually and well aware of how to make myself feel good. I am also multiclimatic and bring myself to many orgasms when I’m alone.

    But I still miss the feeling of being bent over and fucked nicely. I miss getting my hair pulled and being treated like a submissive slut… Hopefully I get some action later or tomorrow.

  395. KennaKenna says:

    @Josh @yougottabekiddingme yes, she is no longer a friend. It was sad letting her go because she was the only open-minded friend I had that I could talk about SD/SB stuff with…

    But now I have you guys :)

  396. KennaKenna says:

    @Elaine yes, the very first SD I was involved with(also who I lost my virginity to and didn’t realize he was a SD then)- I felt extremely guilty everytime I’d see his wife.

    I was a sophomore in college and I was tutoring/babysitting his 2 kids. They were both workaholics and I ended up involved with the Dad. I eventually broke it off and now I’m still friends with the entire family.

  397. Josh says:

    @KennaKenna

    “Yes, I know one of my college friends visited me this summer and tried to steal him away. I Hold onto him very tight.”

    If you have not permanently unfriended her from your life then ho ahead and do so. Nostalgia is no replacement for the perks you’re getting with SDs. If she has tried once she will try again when you expect the least.

  398. Elaine says:

    @ other SBs

    Anyone ever felt a glimpse of guilt towards “the Wife”?

    Never thought that would ever happen to me, but it just did … :-(

  399. This article made me laugh a little. How to spot a SugarBaby. Ha!

    [link]http://ksubuzz.com/index.php/fun/your-campus/749-how-to-spot-a-sugar-baby[link]

  400. “KennaKenna says:
    November 29, 2014 at 10:16 am
    @Josh I’m taking your advice.

    Yes, I know one of my college friends visited me this summer and tried to steal him away. I Hold onto him very tight.”

    Wow… shady, shady!

  401. “Josh says:
    November 29, 2014 at 9:34 am
    @KennaKenna,

    Invest in good toys dear. Maybe you need to get some advice from @yougottaplaywithyourselfoften.

    Don’t sabotage the great thing going just yet.”

    I’ve surely mastered the art of making love to myself, and can go many months without having a penis inserted between my legs. In fact, I don’t use a dildo or vibrator even. Never replaced the vibrator after the last one I burned out, and I can’t remember what I did with that purple gelatinous dildo. Might’ve gone to Rumpke. Anyway…As a polyamorous gal, I find love, meaning and stimulation in many realms. I’ve had sex with a person once this year (8 months ago), and it was 14 months before that. Wait…there was that time in the park…I keep forgetting about that time in the park. Damn was that delicious.

    Thing is, I’ve become so in tune with making love to myself, that when I’m with another person, it’s explosive. I’m both hypersensitive and multiclimactic, and it’s highly enhanced by the stimulation of another’s touch. So much so that it sustains over a period of time.

    That said, I recently had a steamy encounter with a beau with whom I think I would thoroughly enjoy intimacy. To shift from the friend category or not…that’s the dilemma.

    I guess my point is that there are other ways in which you can stimulate and make love to yourself. There are other ways in which you can stimulate and make love to your partner. These things are true both inside and outside the sexual realm. You can essentially make love to any and every thing around you. You just have to tune in.

    I’d be glad to share more on the topic should you be interested.

    yougottabekiddingme2014 at gmail

  402. KennaKenna says:

    @Josh I’m taking your advice.

    Yes, I know one of my college friends visited me this summer and tried to steal him away. I Hold onto him very tight.

    For new NYC SBs, Single guys with no alimony or kids who do well in Manhattan are the most generous and will spoil you rotten if
    you are a nice submissive girl.
    And even if you’re black, use the other blacks who are not up to par as your advantage. From the 3 SDs I’ve been seriously involved with and the other pot SDs, quality black SBS seem to be very rare and hard to score.
    Dress sophisticated, not to short of a skirt, show him you’re educated and not an escort like most of the black SBs on this site.

  403. KennaKenna says:

    @flyr younger guys do absolutely nothing for me! So toys will have to work, hopefully he will try the Viagra and it works!

    Thanks again!

  404. Josh says:

    @flyR, please keep your “advise” separate from mine. I don’t teach women to lie and deceive in the sugar endeavors. :(

    @KennaKenna, I totally disagree with @flyR’s “advice” to “find a lucky young man.”

    Most women can live without a penis being inserted into their vaginas. But most women would kill, in a heartbeat, to replace you with this SD. I am not saying this to allude that you owe him anything based on what he as done for you in the past. I am saying this because what he is doing for you TODAY and has the potential to do in the future.

    DO NO RISK the good thing going, until you have explored all the options in the ED department.

  405. flyR says:

    Kenna continued

    Train him to be an accomplished oralist and find a lucky young man to do the rest.

    Those who are unhappy with “everything ” often find that replaced with nothing.

  406. flyR says:

    @Kenna

    I think Josh and I are saying the same thing. Don’t rescue defeat from the jaws of victory. It sounds like your compensation EXCLUDING THE MENTORING/placement assistance would put you in the top 10% of sugared

  407. Josh says:

    @KennaKenna,

    Invest in good toys dear. Maybe you need to get some advice from @yougottaplaywithyourselfoften.

    Don’t sabotage the great thing going just yet. 😉

  408. KennaKenna says:

    Elaine,

    I wasn’t looking for a SD. I was just curious, I’m in a cabin spending the weekend with him and got a little frustrated and made my profile public. I killed it this morning. I admit I was being bratty because I have been here two days already and still no peen.

    And yes you’re right, I couldn’t have another SD because the way things are I hardly have time for myself.

  409. “Josh says:
    November 29, 2014 at 8:47 am
    @nsw

    “Gtt_envy, you just ordered a hooker. Congrats!”

    Who knows but she does not sound like a hooker to me. If she were a hooker, she would have demanded money before or after the session.”

    Well, there WAS that $150 advance…

  410. Elaine says:

    @ KennaKenna

    Agree with Josh. No, it is NOT common :-)

    And after all he has done for you, and still is doing, I would find it incorrect to keep up your profile.
    I mean if I was in his shoes, I would be royally pissed off if I considered you my gf and would find out you are on SA with a profile.
    It would be different if he knows and is ok with it offcourse…

    Apart from that, if you guys meet 2 or 3 times per week and you have a demanding job, how would you manage to cater another SD?

  411. @Kenna

    “I assumed since you have over 100 pairs of shoes and 50 purses, that idea got stale”

    Ha! Touché!

    Libido and stamina definitely decline with age. I don’t have much experience with men in their late 40’s. I’ve not dated anyone older than 30’s (not that I wouldn’t), but I do know an older man who says that he can only get an erection about once per week. I can understand why your partner is embarrassed to talk about it. There’s only so much he can do about it. Josh mentioned that Viagra provides erection without stimulation. For a man who may be lacking in sexual desire, that may be the female equivalent of lying there and taking it.

    With the exception of when I travel to see a partner, I mostly only have sex with myself, but it’s more a matter of proximity. I’m sure it’s highly frustrating not being intimate with an exclusive partner who you see 2-3 times each week. It’s starting to sound like a typical relationship in need of supplements…in which case, you’re in the right place here. But you’re going to have to figure out which parts of the relationship you’re willing to let go.

  412. Josh says:

    On a “oh, you are getting scammed, Josh” note, last night I spent close to three hours of mutual massages and erotic fun with this SB. She is a riot. Get her some wine and she is even a bigger riot. No penetration, or going down on either though.

    She is the kind of girl I would go “exclusive” with but she would not have intercourse. I don’t know what she his holding out for. More money or just some hang-ups about intercourse.

  413. Josh says:

    @MissMariposa

    As successful no-white women on the blog have proven time and again, the reason many non-white don’t land SDs is NOT because they are non-white, but because they are composed of shit; fully or partially.

  414. KennaKenna says:

    Yes, I haven’t even responded to anyone. I was just curious to see who would bite and if I’d still stand a chance against all these new SBs.

    Yes, will hold onto this guy and see where it goes I guess.

    I will also thread lightly re the ED issue but still push him in the Viagra direction.

    Thanks again guys. :)

  415. MissMariposa says:

    I have said it before and I will say it again….. to all the men on SA who don’t date black women just because they are black women: your loss. #NEXT

  416. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Josh – my comments were about lyrics in a profile…I’ve also seen book text and other stolen unattributed pieces in profiles. Didn’t high school and college teach them to cite the work?

  417. Josh says:

    @nsw

    “Gtt_envy, you just ordered a hooker. Congrats!”

    Who knows but she does not sound like a hooker to me. If she were a hooker, she would have demanded money before or after the session.

    But if she were the kind of hooker @flyR is used to, then she would have asked @gtt_envy for money while he were about to ejaculate. 😉

  418. Josh says:

    @KennaKenna

    “He is in his late 40s, is this common at his age?”

    This is not “common” at his age, but I bet stress has a lot to do with it.

    Now, based on additional information provided by you, I would recommend that you kill your SA profile, and focus on your SD in the near future.

    You can always come back and get a new SD but based on what he is doing for you, it could be a while before you would get the same kind of deal you are getting from the current guy.

    Play it safe financially, get his ED assessed if it is temporary due to factors in his control or is it progressively worsening, and work accordingly.

    But first things first…kill your profile for right now. As you have already seen, when you come back SDs will still entertain you. 😉

  419. KennaKenna says:

    @yougottabekiddingme Thanks for your response.

    Yes, our relationship has been exclusive since NYE last year. He has a photo of us as his wallpaper on his iphone and even though he has had SBs before me, I’m the first that has lasted this long and he has felt comfortable enough introducing to his world.

    I’m not originally from the US so my family visits about once per year. He ended up meeting my mom and sister and we all went out to the Hamptons together for a weekend (of course, they have no idea how we met).

    I spoke to him this morning about the gifts and his response was “I assumed since you have over 100 pairs of shoes and 50 purses, that idea got stale and he was working on giving me something a lot more valuable for Christmas than the Chanel and Louboutins in my closet.”

    You are right, he has been my mentor from the beginning and has helped me in many ways. He takes care of my rent(which in NY is outrageous, makes me miss Chicago), phone bill, etc. and he cleared my student loans from college and last summer referred me to another friend of his for an internship which looks damn good on my resume. I am grateful, trust me I am.

    On the ED issue, he is extremely embarrassed about it. The only time he initiates sex is once per month when we are on a weekend getaway somewhere and it’s usually in the middle of the day. He is able to follow through then. If I initiate it during the week, he’ll complain that he’s too tired or had too much to drink and if I insist, he just isn’t able to keep his erection.

    He is in his late 40s, is this common at his age?

  420. “Josh says:
    November 29, 2014 at 6:18 am
    @y

    The positive that came out of reading the SB’s profile is that I got introduced to Lana Del Ray.

    The Lana chick is deep and beautiful. I am going to check her out in her upcoming concert tour.”

    Where, babe? Where?! I’ll meet you there, we’ll have a blast! I’ll give you a low-five in the mosh pit!! But first…Lemme take a selfie :D.

  421. “nsw says:
    November 29, 2014 at 7:08 am
    Gtt_envy, you just ordered a hooker. Congrats!”

    But at least it doesn’t burn when he pees.

    Pee No Evil.

  422. Hey Kenna,

    Welcome and thanks for sharing. I agree, your story sounds like sugar success. If I may ask, is your sugar relationship exclusive?

    I knew a girl who dated a successful older man who spoiled her much like in your case. Bought her the latest model luxury car, a condo, flew her, and sometimes her family, to exotic destinations all over the world. In the end, she broke things off though it was a painful loss of sugar to her. Said that the ED started to become more than she could bare. Though she did tolerate it, and pretend? to enjoy it from the beginning, she said that it was much like sucking on a wet noodle. The only chance this man had of getting an erection wouldve been to have inserted a steel rod. Thing is, he still wanted her to do it, and he would perform oral on her. I can’t remember…I think maybe, but I’m not sure if he would ejaculate. Ultimately, the sugar stopped flowing from both directions. I think they still talk now and then, and he has helped her out with some things. But she’s now married with a child, and has moved on with her life.

    In terms of advice…

    I’m relatively new to the sugar arena. My knowledge of sugar stems only from two potential real life experiences (outside this forum), my interactions with potentials on the site, members on blog, and from the advice shared with me in private by people from the blog. I do pretty well with relationships in the general humanistic sense, though I can’t be too sure where that line is drawn (or if it needs to be) in sugar.

    From what you’ve written, it seems that your benefactor exemplifies the classic portrayal of a sugar mentor, and according to you he’s not been overbearing in doing so. I think it is quite an extension for him to introduce you to the career prospect. Despite that you interviewed for and secured the job, he would not have presented it if he didn’t find you equipped, and if he didn’t think you were worthy of his referral. Also, in addition to your own intelligence, education, self improvement and refinement, it sounds like he’s helped you along the way with both financial support and mentorship.

    He also considers you someone worthy of sharing his family and friends.

    I think that this is a situation that will require a large degree of both grace and gratitude as should be extended to anyone who enriches our lives with pure intentions.

    I think you should be honest with him. Tell him that you appreciate the generosity that he’s shown you, that youre grateful for the opportunities he’s presented to you, that you have enjoyed his companionship and affection. Then share that while you’re happy to be earning your own money, you miss the intimacy and tokens of appreciation he used to share. Use this opportunity to make a reasonable request as to what would make the relationship more fulfilling.

    It should be expected, I think, that sugar would slow down now that he’s helped you to a comfortable and profitable in a position. That is one of the returns on his investment…That his sugar has paid off in more than just shoes and handbags. In a sense, his sugar to you has been delegated. That said, I think he still needs to show expressions that you find meaningful…things that make you feel appreciated. Relationships do require maintenance after all.

    At any rate, Id avoid an abrupt severance, and I’d be delicately mindful of the other relationships (work, family, friends etc) that could be affected. Be tactful, and try to keep it out of the workplace.

  423. nsw says:

    Gtt_envy, you just ordered a hooker. Congrats!

  424. Josh says:

    @gtt_envy

    “She only had the Number 1 song in 2013 Josh played every second of every day “Summertime Sadness” which was mocked in another summer hit “Let me take a selfie” by the Chainsmokers.”

    If she was mocked the it’s reason enough to go check her out.

    “Yes she is and anself proclaimed freak to who admittingly has slept with many on her way up!!”

    It’s better to “sleep with many on her way up” then her way down. And freaks are “usually” great concert performers. Besides, I have no plans to take her home to meet my mom so it’s all good. 😉

  425. KennaKenna says:

    Profile has only been public for 1 day and already 8 decent responses… It feels good to be wanted! :)

  426. KennaKenna says:

    @josh No, he hasn’t gained any weight but yes To the stress, he got a VP promotion end of summer and his company just went public so he is constantly working even when we’re together. He said once the quarter is over, he should be less busy.

    I offered to give him more time to work and see him 1-2 times per week instead of 2-3 times but he insisted that we should see each other as much as possible.

  427. gtt_envy says:

    She only had the Number 1 song in 2013 Josh played every second of every day “Summertime Sadness” which was mocked in another summer hit “Let me take a selfie” by the Chainsmokers.

    Yes she is and anself proclaimed freak to who admittingly has slept with many on her way up!!

  428. Josh says:

    @y

    The positive that came out of reading the SB’s profile is that I got introduced to Lana Del Ray.

    The Lana chick is deep and beautiful. I am going to check her out in her upcoming concert tour. :)

  429. “Who belonged to no one, who belonged to everyone..”

    I can relate to that.

    Might not have been so bad had she credited the author, in addition to writing something original.

  430. Josh says:

    @KennaKenna

    1. Has your SD gained weight while you two have been together?

    2. Has he been under more stress now than he was in the past?

  431. Josh says:

    @ONSD

    “Did some digging, found out I was right. Blocked the profile…”

    What are you referring to?
    What are you referring to?

  432. Elaine says:

    @gtt_envy

    “I did wire her extra afterwards, but the key was she didn’t ask for anything just a big squeeze and long kiss. Very nice!!”

    You wired extra.
    She didn’t ask.
    So it could be kept lighthearted, sexy and fun for both.

    I think this is how it ideally should be.
    Unfortunally it doesn’t often go like this anymore, as a result of the actual negative spiral of lack of trust between SDs/SBs. :-(

  433. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Josh, it seems to be common to pull at least a part of the profile text from lyrics. I thought things sounded familiar (I’m an instrumental classic jazz guy, but wife is top 40 girl). Did some digging, found out I was right. Blocked the profile…

  434. KennaKenna says:

    @Josh There is only one thing that annoys me more than people who copy and paste their bio, people who steal photos!

    That girl probably doesn’t even know the meaning of ‘chameleon’.

  435. gtt_envy says:

    I did wire her extra afterwards, but the key was she didn’t ask for anything just a big squeeze and long kiss. Very nice!!

  436. gtt_envy says:

    Ahhhhhh, another great night of sugaring 😉 Let’s see 23, 125lb 5’5, mixed, bubbly, fun, silly, we laughed, watched silly stuff, and did a solid 30 minutes of banging. Can’t show the whole deck on the first rodeo, but definitely some hard banging, she could breathe lol lol.

    The best part? No fancy dinner, no expectations of grandeur, just a simple message, swapped pics, I verified her on FB and Instagram with my let me wire you $150 to prove I’m serious to get her real full name.

    Great girl a lot of fun :) I love it when they are chill and not divas feels so much more natural.

  437. KennaKenna says:

    @Elaine, yes I know people can completely change and turn crazy, that is always a possibility…

    And I’m saying if I’m going to be his gf and being here for the long haul, then I’d like to have a place in my name. We have kinda discussed it on two occasions when I transitioned from SB to GF. And the last woman he dated seriously got herself a nice condo; if he did buy me a place I’d stick around much longer…

  438. KennaKenna says:

    Thanks guys for your advice. Goodnight.

    I’m going back to being the perfect submissive SB/GF who makes him feel like a king.

    I may be back but if I don’t get a chance… Enjoy the rest of your weekend.

  439. flyR says:

    Re Marketing and Profiles

    Chubby Bstrd asked for an example of product differentiation other than salt .

    I’m sitting here getting my second MacBook pro up and running . I know I could have found something that would work for half the price but Apple does such a great job with their products from packaging to the store experience (although it varies from store to store as Santa Monica can be sucky but Monterey has always been A++ ) and generally with their customer support (although I do worry the new leadership is more interested in sucking up to wall street)

    About 80% of the profiles here remind me of visiting the Verizon store where everything is painful, there’s music for delinquents playing at about 200db and customers are an annoyance. The employees seem to have been plucked from reform school or failed bands.

    The business relationship manager at the apple store went through the options with me and about 30 seconds after I nodded yes her assistant was there with the computer in the box (great packaging) , a swipe of the credit card on her iPhone and I was $2,500 poorer , but smiling.

  440. Elaine says:

    @Kenna

    And making him buy you a house might not be the best of ideas if you considering loosing the strings….

  441. Josh says:

    @ONSD,

    I wondered about the originality of this profile. So I Googled the text. This SB is full of crap.

    Here profile is basically lyrics of Lana Del Ray’s song. []http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/lanadelrey/ride.html[]

    I should have Googled earlier. My apologies. :(

  442. Elaine says:

    @KennaKenna

    “I’ve been with this guy a while and I don’t think he’d ever do something to intentionally hurt me”

    Unfortunally this means NOTHING…
    Some quite “normal” people can turn completely mad when they are left by someone they “love”.

    Always be prepared and considerate all options!

  443. KennaKenna says:

    @JOsh Yes sir! lol. Yes, will try to get him to ask his doctor about Viagra.

  444. KennaKenna says:

    @flyR- thanks! I’m leaning towards just doing that, at least for now. I’m hoping to convince him to get me a place or even make the downpayment, just because he is always telling me I should be looking to own not rent so I’ll be sticking around…

  445. Josh says:

    @KennaKenna

    “I am not in love with him.”

    Who gives a shit about that. It is a passing emotion.

    Focus on his ED and get something happening “there” for the next couple of years while you stabilize your career and find another SD who may appreciate you and respect you.

  446. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Josh – great profile, if you want to have trouble in your life!

  447. flyR says:

    Kenna – the middle ground might be that you remain friend / companion but with your own personal life.

  448. flyR says:

    pinot from the hood = lompoc wine ghetto and surrounding area (santa ynez valley of Sideways fame) .

  449. KennaKenna says:

    @Josh yes, I think so even if it’s just for a year or two. I’ve grown to love him as a person but I am not in love with him.

    He has introduced me to his world which sadly I don’t want to give up. Also, he isn’t the crazy jealous or super needy type so I can still have my life and my friends but I’m in my early 20s so sex is vey important to me. Oh, and spoiling, of course.

    And even though I think I can initiate the sugaring again, I just think the sex will always be an issue.

  450. Josh says:

    Who wants to play with this fire? LOL!

    About Me

    I was always an unusual girl. My mother told me I had a chameleon soul, no moral compass pointing due north, no fixed personality; just an inner indecisiveness that was as wide and as wavering as the ocean… And if I said I didn’t plan for it to turn out this way I’d be lying… Because I was born to be the other woman.. Who belonged to no one, who belonged to everyone.. Who had nothing, who wanted everything, with a fire for every experience and an obsession for freedom that terrified me to the point that I couldn’t even talk about it, and pushed me to a nomadic point of madness that both dazzled and dizzied me.

    What I’m looking for

    let’s spend a little time, and see if you deserve more of mine

  451. Josh says:

    Please allow me to ask…if he can fix his ED issue, would you stay with him to play the regular “relationship” out?

  452. KennaKenna says:

    do anything to hurt my finances*

  453. KennaKenna says:

    @Josh that’s the thing I’ve been with this guy a while and I don’t think he’d ever do something to intentionally hurt me. He just doesn’t seem like that guy.

    And the job wasn’t handed to me. He introduced me to a big executive at the firm. He then invited me to interview and it was a series of interviews with about 5 people. I’ve since proven myself to many people at the firm and don’t even work in the guy he introduced me to department.

    I’m just saying even though I don’t think he would ever stoop so low or do anything, I have no idea how he would take the break-up. On many occasions he has professed his love for me and said I complete him. He also invited me to his parents house for Christmas and fabricated a story that we will tell them about how we met.

    I will take your advice and advise him on the Viagra and see if anything improves…

  454. Josh says:

    @KennaKenna

    “@Josh maybe I’ll start job hunting then :(”

    Sweetheart, if you like this job then you need to work on two fronts. Line up one solid and 1-2 tentative job offers. Perform political reconnaissance at your current job to assess the potential fallout due to your upcoming break-up.

    If he is the kind of person who could hurt your finances, then there is more of a reason to get rid of him. You don’t want these kinds of people having too much power in your life.

    Best of success!

  455. Josh says:

    @KennaKenna

    “@Josh maybe I’ll start job hunting then :(”

    Sweetheart, if you like this job then you need to work on two fronts. Line up on solid and 1-2 tentative job offers. Perform political reconnaissance at your current to assess the potential of fallout due to your upcoming break-up.

    If he is the kind of person who could hurt your finances, then there is more of a reason to get rid of him. You don’t want these kinds of people having too much power in your life.

    Best of success!

  456. Josh says:

    Racism is alive and well in America. There is no denying it.

    That said, we have already proven that the poster who alluded to racism as the reason for her lack of success at SA has a long way to go to make herself interesting to an SD, especially a decent one.

    You, being a non-White success story, is even better for us. 😉

  457. KennaKenna says:

    @Josh maybe I’ll start job hunting then :(

  458. KennaKenna says:

    @Josh that’s the thing, I don’t want to quit this job. I put my PhD on pause for this specific job just because of how sweet the offer was.

    Maybe I’ll just keep him around and have dinner with him couple times a week and travel once a month? Even though, I don’t think he’d try to get me fire but just in case.

  459. Josh says:

    “I was tempted to call my SD before him just to get some peen LOL”

    Don’t risk your financial future. Invest in toys until you get your job changed. Until then DON’T do anything to give your current SD the ability to pull the rug from under your feet. It is ALWAYS better to land a new job when you are firmly grounded in the current one.

  460. KennaKenna says:

    And to the previous posters who were talking about racism, I think everyone has their preferences and it is fair. We all like what we like.

    I am a light-skin black female (my grandfather is white and was down with the swirl HAHA) and I’ve had no problem or issue on this site or in real life. I don’t have a perfect smile, I’m slim and just a tiny butt. I think it’s all about presentation, I wasn’t raised in America so I usually don’t fit in with the African AMericans. I have two degrees and “dont typ lyk dis” so I think that may also be a plus for certain SDs.

    Just my two cents, I maybe wrong! Don’t attack me!

  461. Josh says:

    @KennaKenna,

    Based on additional information provided, slow down the dumping process.

    You “may” have to land another job before dumping him. The good news is that NOW is the best time to switch jobs as the number of people voluntarily quitting their jobs is the highest since 2008.

    []http://money.cnn.com/2014/11/13/news/economy/job-quitting-on-rise-good-news/[]

  462. KennaKenna says:

    @Josh I hid my profile a few months ago but just edited it and up and running again lol…

    What is a good way to bring up the Viagra suggestion? I also have a feeling that it will not be so easy to get rid of him… I have been his date on several company functions and this summer when we were in SOuth Hampton, he introduced me as his gf to many of his friends (one who happens to be the guy that hired me at the Hedge Fund)

    He is generally a sweet guy, but the “no sex” thing is just killing me… I was tempted to call my SD before him just to get some peen LOL

  463. Josh says:

    *4. We need you in the sugar bowl back so that you may bring happiness into another SD’s life, who may be better in bed and IN spoiling you.

  464. Josh says:

    @KennaKenna

    Based on what you have written so far, you are a sugar success story. You successfully landed an SD who was able to take you from point A to point B.

    Dump his sorry ass and move on. Why?

    1. You don’t owe him ANYTHING at all. He got what he needed. You got what you needed.

    2. If a man does not understand that there is no free relationship with quality woman, he does not respect you.

    3. Keep your SA profile intact.

    4. We need you in the sugar bowl back so that you may bring happiness into another SD’s life, who may be better in bed and spoiling you.

    In the meantime, ask him to ask his doctor if Viagra is good for him. :)

    As per my research, Cialis and Viagra work a bit differently. Cialis supposedly works over 36 hours. It requires outside stimulation, and the erection is not as strong. Viagra is for pretty much instant boner with short-term erection. It does not need outside stimulation and the short-lived erection is supposedly strong.

  465. KennaKenna says:

    @OnlineNewbieSD that’s what I was thinking…. maybe he considered the job as sugar… I guess I should just be grateful but I really do miss the spontaneous gifts and jewelry.. The allowance I don’t need but still anything extra is good… Maybe I’m just greedy?

    Oh he recently told me he thinks I should delete my SA profile and we should attempt to have a normal relationship… I like him and everything but I’m not sure that would even be a good idea…

  466. KennaKenna says:

    I want to add that I have told him about the sex thing and he said he was trying Cealis but somehow he is still losing his erection, which just frustrates me so he just ends up performing oral on me in the end.

    This has always been an issue from the beginning but now it has gotten even worst! I’ve tried talking to him about this but he always gets so embarrassed and defensive. We are on vacation for the Holiday weekend and so far just making out, and that’s it…. :(

  467. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @KennaKenna – He may see the introduction and eventual work you have at the HedgeFund as his sugar (mentorship)…it may not be what you think, but consider that.

    If you’re looking for more sex from him, maybe he is trying to let you have a “normal” life now that you’re out of school…it could be as easy as letting him know you’re missing the sex, and everything else you had with him back in school.

    Good luck with that conversation…you have a problem I haven’t heard from a SB on the blog before. It’s usually the other way around!

  468. KennaKenna says:

    Hey there everyone,

    I’ve been reading this blog for about two years but this is the first time Im actually commenting..

    I met this SD about 18 months ago and I guess I’ve turned into his gf. I had my expectation as substantial and he has more than lived up to it, and have spoiled me and given me everything I have asked for or even hinted that I wanted.

    I have two problems- he is 25 years older than me and even though I am genuinely attracted to an older, more mature gentleman – our sex life has become almost non-existent now! I see him 2-3 times per week and we probably end up having sex once/twice per month.

    And #2- When he met me, I was in Grad School but since then he has used his connections and got me an Analyst job at a HedgeFund. It pays well and I’m happy here but the sugaring has dramatically dwindled down now that I’m making my own. How do I re-introduce the idea of an allowance and sugaring?

  469. @Lainey

    Yeah, apparently the jury agrees with you.

    Kinda sounds like what happened w the murderous SB. She is captured on video finishing up her last swallow of wine before leaving him to die. Sooo not sexy.

  470. Lainey says:

    @YGBKM he’s a doctor for Christ’s sake. Panicked my ass!

  471. Lainey says:

    Oh don’t think I told you guys. Me and my overly emotional SD have been done-zoe for nearly a month now!

  472. I don’t you can be too sure even with verification.

    There is a doctor who was convicted of drugging, raping and killing a pregnant woman he’d met on Craigslist.

    I think it was the defenses position that drug use and sex were consensual, but that the girl over dosed and he freaked out. Put her body in her car, drove it someplace, and left it.

  473. Naomi says:

    I love this song! & Jingle bell rock!!

  474. “Lainey says:
    November 28, 2014 at 7:49 pm
    LOL @OnlineNewbieSD poker face”

    Hahaha

  475. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Lainey – yeah, poker face for sure! that’s when I started checking out the blog, to see what the reactions were about the news…there are some past comments about it…I know there are always bad people around to cause problems…

  476. Lainey says:

    LOL @OnlineNewbieSD poker face

  477. Lainey says:

    @Hokie The wishlist sounds like a swell idea! All I want is a Hoover Max Extract Dual All-Terrain Carpet Washer. SO SERIOUS! Lol

  478. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Lainey – yes, there was a SB member of SA that killed her SD. The news stories actually referred to SA…wasn’t a great thing to hear sitting on the couch with the wife after having just joined the site, that’s for damn sure!

  479. Lainey says:

    @OnlineNewbieSD murderous SB?

  480. “flyR says:
    November 28, 2014 at 5:36 pm
    I forgot to recommend Liza apply a little Pinot from the hood”flyR says:
    November 28, 2014 at 5:36 pm
    I forgot to recommend Liza apply a little Pinot from the hood.”

    What did you mean to type, poor traveling, sleep deprived FlyR? Your auto correct is all over the place lol.

    Pinot from the hood…

    Would that be kind of like syzurp? Purple drank, maybe?

    Speaking of pinot…

    I recently tried this cheap Pinot called Pinot Evil. I bought it because it made me think “Pee No Evil” which made me wonder if it would burn to pee evil.

    It was surprisingly a decent bottle of wine. Didn’t burn either.

    Can’t be sure how comparable it is to Pinot from the hood though.

  481. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @ss1959 – It may be a site-wide cycle…there are too many issues like this happening to people!

  482. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Josh – to me, as a SD on SA I really don’t care what SAs attorneys have said about verifying identities and allowing people under 18 as members. It makes me wonder about the site, and even if I asked for id from every pot at a first meet, still question the validity of the id, and worry a bit more each time I’m scheduled to meet someone…just after I joined the story broke about the murderous SB, now this? I mean, I thought this was supposed to be a better site than Craigslist!?

  483. ss1959 says:

    @SassySB, I know there are good ones out there. I’ve met some incredible women here. It just seems that I’ve been hearing from all the OTHER SBs this week. The ones that can’t string words together to make a coherent sentence.

    Life is cyclical. This too shall pass.

  484. SouthernSB says:

    OK, so someone else just accused me of being half my age…again, and I am wondering if this is hurting me in my search for a SD? I am putting my real age on my profile, but if I truly look half my age (which I under no circumstances think I do) could it be that the SDs that see me think that I am lying up (someone would have to be mad to lie about being 50 if they were only 25, right)?

  485. Sue says:

    English is my second language and so often I don’t take time to listen closely to lyrics to understand the meaning … This post truly opened my eyes to this very famous Christmas song.

    All I have on my list this year for Christmas is to be able to fly home for the holidays :)

  486. flyR says:

    @YGTBKM More like 3+ hours on the highway . I think there was an emergency message sent to the shallow end of the gene pool this AM telling them to get in their cars and take to the highways.

  487. flyR says:

    I forgot to recommend Liza apply a little Pinot from the hood

  488. flyR says:

    @hokie “Speaking of Christmas, are they going to do the “Christmas Wishlist” on SA this year? I wish they would. I think it would be a good way to test out these guys who claim they have so much money. Have you guys had good experiences with the wishlist? What are your thoughts on it?”

    If the sent money to women who wanted to be paid prior to sugar they would be folks who made bad decisions and not likely to have the cash.

  489. Josh says:

    @Dazed

    All numbers are for old site. Letters and numbers are for new site.

  490. @Flyr

    You forgot to add the disclaimer that you’ve been boozing this time. A little Malbec?

  491. flyR says:

    @Liza “”””Hey I am new to this, I am just wondering what do I got to do to ask a sd for a monthly allowance? “.

    Enough “innocent ” sexy flirting to arouse a manly reaction, your hand casually resting your hand in his lap, lean over and whisper, ” I can see junior is impatient for you to make me an offer of an allowance which will make ALL of us very happy. “

  492. Dazed-SD says:

    OK,,I figured it out thanks Elaine

  493. Dazed-SD says:

    I’m not the greastest with computers but that didn’t work for me either. I saw what you meant inserted the number, and it took me to internet search page..LOL

  494. Ah, gotcha. Thanks, Elaine.

  495. Elaine says:

    @youkid

    No not if you use the url.

    If you use the search function (apart from the fact that you cannot search for SBs if you are no SD) you WILL be visible at “visitors”

  496. Oh wait…really, Elaine? They can’t see that you visited their profile?

  497. @DazedAndConfused

    You will need to go to the URL from your profile, and replace your ID with the one you’d like to view.

    [link]https://www.seekingarrangement.com/member/INSERTIDHERE/view[link]

    *forgot to edit the link, and it got moderated

  498. Elaine says:

    @YKBKM @Dazed

    No not if you go to your own profile view, and paste their profile number in the url, where yours is.

  499. But wait!!! Just so you know…they will be able to see that you visited their profile.

  500. Dazed-SD says:

    I’m I the only one who can never find profiles when they post their number ?
    I don’t even have a profile number that I can see, but some people here post them and I do a search and nothing appears. Then some have letters and numbers some with only number,,, I’m so confused ! ( or Dazed)

  501. Hey Chloe,

    Your profile is coming along. You’ve given a little bit more of your interests and personality. Nice mention of your marketing job, interests and creative nature. Still a little sex-heavy.

    Edit number 8 to read “[Looking forward to sharing]…”

    Delete number 9 completely. No need to state what you’ve already alluded to in #s 7&8.

    Number 10 (if you wish to keep it) Id edit to read, “[I have always been fascinated with…] or “It’d be exciting to enjoy…with a passionate gentleman.”

    Number 11, Id say remove from the list, and save it for a tease via private message once your conversation shifts from initial connection to intimacy. Perhaps the same with number 10.

    Also, of your 11-item list, halfish are sexual in nature, and the other halfish are I statements.

    Prune your list, and capture the potential with how these things benefit him.

    Consider, perhaps

    Number 3: “Always maintain a polished persona and appearance- Being sexy and classy! ” You can prune this by allowing your pictures to tell this story. You deleted the full body picture of you in the blazer, shorts and heels. I thought it was cute, showed your body type and sense of style.

    Also, your eyes are stunning in the pic of you in the black dress. Crop it just above your right wrist, and crop out as much of the cars on either side as you can, and you’ll get more of a sweet, big brown eyes over the shoulder look. Share the full goods shot in your private pics. If your pictures scream sex, and your profile screams “for hire”, you’re probably going to attract a bunch of thigh humpers seeking pay per play quickies. Sex appeal should be evident, but it shouldn’t completely overshadow your other attributes.

  502. Elaine says:

    @Liza

    Does it really matter what allowance other SBs get?!
    Do they offer the same as you do?

    Would it be of any help if I said an SD gave me xx k. per visit?
    No, it doesnt’t mean anything, there is SBs that get millions (Sterling) and there is SBs getting nothing but a nice dinner or a pair of shoes.

    The more you have to offer, the more generous the allowance an SD will be willing to give.
    Or maybe the less an SD has to offer himself, apart from money?

    It is said several times here:
    The only right allowance is the allowance both you and your SD are comfortable with!

    I don’t think this is the answer you were hoping for, but this (repeating) question cannot be responded more precise.

  503. SassySB says:

    @ss1959 There are good ones out there :) what city are you in and whats your expectation range?

  504. ss1959 says:

    I think I’m close to giving up. I’ve had msg exchanges with several (not very) potential SBs, and none of them seem to manage more than mono-syllabic 2 word responses to any question.

  505. ss1959 says:

    @resop2:”what if the SB said she was in her “soft core” year? LOL”

    I’d wait until she reached her hard core year, of course!

  506. resop2 says:

    @josh – your welcome!

    @ss1959 – what if the SB said she was in her “soft core” year? LOL

    They probably entered their profile from their smart phone, but that does not excuse things not looking professional. Trolling for a SD is like applying for a job, you want to put your best foot forward.

  507. ss1959 says:

    Random recurring rant: Supposed college sugar babies who can’t write an intelligible sentence!

    Good Lord, don’t tell me you’re a grad student at some prestigious east coast university, and then note that my profile “peaked” your interest! That’s almost as bad as the girl who told me she was in her “soft more” year.

    And capitalization and punctuation count. You’re not paying by the character; put a period at the end of each sentence. Didn’t they teach you this stuff way back in elementary and middle school?

  508. Josh says:

    That’s a useful list. Thanks for sharing.

  509. resop2 says:

    @Josh

    > @resop2

    >> “I think I have a new turn off.”

    > Care to elaborate on the old turn offs?

    Hum. Well, here are some off the top of my head:

    * Drama mama’s (SB who put a long list of why they need money in their profile, or who talk about being married and having an unfaithful stalking husband)

    * Pictures that were either stolen out of a swimsuit magazine spread or indicative that the SB is used to having multimillionaires fawn over her.

    * SB’s who’s listed age and profile picture do not seem to agree.

    * SB’s who send you messages saying that they have looked at your profile and liked it, but don’t mention anything at all about the contents of your profile.

    * SB’s who want to change the venue of communication in their first message.

    * SB’s who’s first message is a booty call.

    * SB’s who’s profile picture does not show them smiling.

    * SB’s who want to meet immediately when they aren’t anywhere near local to you.

    Now, something are annoying but can be worked with. The biggest of these is getting in a message cycle with a SB and the SB never asks any questions, making you do all of the work keeping the conversation going. If the SB is cute, then I might make the effort, but it would be so much easier if the SB pretended to show interest.

  510. Josh says:

    @ONSD

    I am sure that SA’s lawyers have looked into this issue and are relying on states’ age of consent to some extent, which are much lower than the federal age of majority.

  511. Josh says:

    I had read the story in cell phone so I did not comprehend it better earlier. This is what went on.

    ‘“He asked to do things I wasn’t going to do,” she told Detective Darryl Ng. “He is ugly, old and disgusting. I tied him up. I took his money and left. He was starting to creep me out.”’

    Both sisters did not participate in the theft.

    ‘”Shaina Foster told authorities she was surprised Aronson called police. “The old man reported me? I don’t understand why he reported me,” she said, according to court documents.’

    She thought that since hers was supposedly a “discrete” encounter with him, he was not going to report her.

    “The pair are charged with kidnapping, burglary, robbery, assault and grand larceny. They are being held without bail.”

    Hmmm, I don’t know what the twins’ ethnicity is but White girls would not be getting none of that.

    “The age of consent in New York is 17, which may at least partially explain why Aronson isn’t facing any charges.”

    That explains why the SD is not in trouble.

  512. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Josh, I completely agree. I think some are even using early 20’s as age on profile. Although, if they had to verify age SA would not be able to have the “great” ratio they advertise!

  513. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Dazed – you don’t see them out and about because they’re either at the clubs with their own age, at home with the gamer looser, or out somewhere else with the 84 year old hahaha!

  514. Josh says:

    @ONSD

    I doubt that the SD went looking for 17 year-olds. One important take-away from the news item is that it does not talk about the SD getting in trouble with the law.

    SA does not allow 17 year-olds on the site. The minimum age on SA is 18…

    However, there are lots of underage SBs on SA and steps must be taken to verify ids of younger-looking SBs, along the same lines of verifying ages of cigarette buyer who look almost twice legal cigarette-buying age.

  515. Dazed-SD says:

    @ josh,,LOL but it’s amazing to me how many are like that !

    @ online,,it is a little crazy, I’m kind of in shock just how many beautiful local women there are over here. I wonder how come I don’t see them when I’m out on the town. It’s also just as amazing though how many have profile like the one I posted earlier

  516. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Southern – about the article with twins robbing the guy.

    I’m sorry, but an 84 year old trolling for a 17 year old is just wrong to begin with.

    SA allowing a 17 year old is wrong as well…as @Josh has said, check ID before sugar in either direction!

    I’ll also bet the ONE could have tied him up and done it on her own.

  517. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Dazed, I’m also feeling sorry for you because of the pure volume you have to sift through on that side of the state! I get enough messages from the east side, I can’t even imagine how bad it would be if I were local.

  518. Josh says:

    @Dazed-SD

    Your last post is 2nd runner up among incomprehensible posts on this blog topic. 😉

  519. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Dazed – There are A LOT of profiles like that!

  520. Dazed-SD says:

    @ online,, Detroit area

  521. Dazed-SD says:

    @ All and to @flyr’s point,, to me this doesn’t work,
    girl 20 years old, expectation High,,profile,

    About Me

    Not your average girl. Classy not Trashy No sex Exchanges Love being spoiled. <3 XOxo Can you be that one ? Sweetest Beauty youll ever met <3 Mwahh

    What I'm looking for

    Spoil before meeting <3 Show me how far you will go to met me. Up to Video chatting to show my identity is real <3 Of coarse A Gentlemen :)

  522. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Dazed-SD – What part of MI?

  523. “Anyways, I don’t like Indians from India. I’ve only been attracted to one, Aziz Ansari. That’s it. I love me some Native American Indians. HAHA

    But why am I not attracted to them? Call it prejudice or whatever you’d like, but honestly, I really dis like them. Few things:
    -From birth, men are viewed as the higher sex
    -They treat woman like crap
    -It’s a culture thing
    -I’ve been in the restaurant industry for ever. No matter how well I treat them, without any attitude, they always are rude to me.”

    Yeah, Sexy, Id say those are racist views. You say you’re attracted to Aziz Ansari, but do not like Indians from India, and have essentially dismissed the entire race based on behaviors you perceive as applicable to most of them (except Aziz Ansari).

    Having spent time in India, and having had longterm relationships with Indian men (both first and second generation), and having engaged with Indian people in various contexts, I can tell you that your views are generalizations that do not apply to most the Indian men that Ive encountered. While there is a more national culture in India (widely accepted tradition and rituals), culture, in many ways is relative to region, religion, class, caste, and education level. Your views absolutely could be applicable to most of your experiences with Indian men, but you really have to consider the context. Have you interacted with Indian men outside of the context of serving them at a restaurant, or running into them on Devon St? I can tell you of times when I, as a server, ended up PAYING to wait on Indian customers because there was an automatic tipout to the busser based on percentage of sales, and in some cases, the gratuity didn’t cover the tipout to the busser. Blacks are almost as bad, middle easterns aren’t too far off, and you’d think that the Europeans would know better. Shitty? Yes. Damn them all? Silly. It’d be ignorant of me to dismiss the whole race based on those experiences.

    I’m not saying that everyone should be attracted to everyone. And I’m really not interested in rebutting every inquiry of what may or may not make someone racist. These are concepts that are harder to rationalize as the unaffected majority. I just happen to have studied and observed these concepts comparatively in many contexts, and thought Id share objectively.

    Racial minorities and darker skinned people will more often be subjected to racially biased views regardless of how educated, attractive or otherwise appealing they may be. This applies across the globe, even in otherwise homogenous regions.

    That said…

    There are other reasons why someone may not be attracted to someone, including that the person’s profile is poorly written or off-putting, or simply that they don’t find that person attractive… irrespective and independently of their race. I’m also not saying that being attracted or not to a person’s race-specific physical attributes makes anyone racist or not. But if all you have to note are behaviors that can apply to other races OR that don’t apply to others within that race, in which case the person, against whom you’d otherwise be racist is fair game (Aziz Ansari), then I’m not sure what else you’d call it. Selective racism? Nationalism, perhaps?

    Lastly,

    I’m not assigning morality to racism or prejudiced views, and I’m not judging. I’m just sharing perspective on a recurring topic that is clearly a reality for some yet uncomfortable (annoying?) for others. No one writes, “Not this again” when other recurring topics come up. At least with other recurring topics, there are previous blog topics or other links that can be referenced and helpful. The only blog post addressing the topic fell short, and was racist in itself (albeit written with the best intentions, I’m sure). Just another example of how sometimes we can have racist views without realizing it.

    Lastly, lastly (for real this time)…

    Minorities (of many demographics…as it pertains to majority preferences on this site) will like have a harder time here. If you’re gay, dom, older, browner, rounder, taller, this might apply to you. What does that mean? Take the chip off your shoulder, be patient, set yourself apart to appeal to the person you wish to attract, and know that even having done all the right things, someone still might not be attracted to you for completely unrelated reasons.

  524. Liza says:

    Hey I am new to this, I am just wondering what do I got to do to ask a sd for a monthly allowance? I also want to know what was your experience as a sugar baby? What was the most a sd ever gave you?

  525. “***just to be clear, I have a picture of the two of us. It’s in my room. Not, a picture of us in my room. HAHAHA wow. That could of been bad”

    Ha! I was wondering.

  526. Lainey says:

    I hope you all realize Chit Chat is not posting these questions for honesty advice. She’s using it as a census for book material.

  527. Josh says:

    @SexyRockstar

    “…and here I am thinking I’m a comedian.”

    Don’t mean to be the heckler, sorry. 😉

  528. SexyRockstar says:

    AdventureSeeker****

    Sorry, I am a bitch <3

  529. Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

    Any fun vacations planned? Let me know :)

    I’m headed to Miami in February.

  530. SexyRockstar says:

    …and here I am thinking I’m a comedian.

  531. SexyRockstar says:

    really?

  532. Rebecca says:

    Rockstar: My profile is e37e8a5b.

  533. hokiedarlin says:

    I get what you’re saying. I’m just new to this and keep meeting these creeps. They not only have been lying (about everything) but they are very strange as well. I’m trying to navigate all this-I want to attract the real thing.

  534. Josh says:

    @SexyRockstar:

    “I met him, and I told him I love him. He gave me a hug…and I said…no. I like LOVE YOU. Have my babies.”

    Hmmm, you must love him too much to offer him your babies!!!

  535. SexyRockstar says:

    ***just to be clear, I have a picture of the two of us. It’s in my room. Not, a picture of us in my room. HAHAHA wow. That could of been bad

  536. SexyRockstar says:

    @Reb

    Whats your profile link? I wanna check you out!

  537. SexyRockstar says:

    @Josh
    HAHA you dick. I met him, and I told him I love him. He gave me a hug…and I said…no. I like LOVE YOU. Have my babies. I have a picture of the two of us in my room. He thinks I’m funny and talented. But, I think he was dating someone at the time. He is fantastic. HAHA

  538. Rebecca says:

    Southern: Yeah, tickets are only like $300 so it is fine.

  539. Josh says:

    @SexyRockstar

    Anyways, I don’t like Indians from India. I’ve only been attracted to one, Aziz Ansari. That’s it.”

    Aziz Ansari was born in Columbia, NC. 😉

  540. SouthernSB says:

    @Rebecca-since you have family in the area, I guess it would be OK for you to go, but do you have enough money to get back to where you live on your own? Be sure to get a round trip ticket in your name before you get on that plane.

  541. SexyRockstar says:

    Hey loves!!! Sorry for not responding! I’ve been busy with Thanksgiving and such. And happy Thanksgiving to all of you <3 You guys are slowly becoming my second family <3 Gotta love blog relationships.

    Anyways, I don't like Indians from India. I've only been attracted to one, Aziz Ansari. That's it. I love me some Native American Indians. HAHA

    But why am I not attracted to them? Call it prejudice or whatever you'd like, but honestly, I really dis like them. Few things:
    -From birth, men are viewed as the higher sex
    -They treat woman like crap
    -It's a culture thing
    -I've been in the restaurant industry for ever. No matter how well I treat them, without any attitude, they always are rude to me.

    Not all Indians are like this, but most are. I am just simply not attracted to them. Also, they tend to have thick accents. I don't even date heavy European mean for this reason. There are other people with similar cultures, and I don't date them either. I also know a few Indians that don't date other Indians for similar reasons. Now, we can say the same thing for black people. Not every black person is "ghetto" "thug life" or whatever it may be. I dislike ebonics, and I know PLENTY of white people that are just as ignorant as the next person. It's a preference.

    It's like calling men that dislike fat girls. Sure, they are nice, honest, great at sex, but if a man doesn't like that, then why should he be considered shallow? I am not a size two, and I love my body, and some men are not white and they love their culture.

    People who call others a racist asshole because they don't find people of different skin colors attractive, is, if anything, a stupid asshole. Lainey for instance, has said multiple times she is diverse, and has no problems landing an SD. I have mentioned I am a size 10, yet I have a fantastic SD.

    I also know white men who love black girls, black men who love white girls. Me? I love Asians. Can't help myself. I have no idea why, but I am attracted to them. And no, not every Asian has a small penis. I hope this post has clarified any questions anyone asked me.

  542. Josh says:

    @hokiedarlin

    “I think it would be a good way to test out these guys who claim they have so much money.”

    SDs don’t have money to give it away for no good reason just because someone is trying to “test out these guys.” :(

    Prove your worth to one or more SDs and get whatever he is willing to do for you.

  543. Rebecca says:

    @Southern, It is a 3 hour flight and I have family in the city. I would since he is verified. I know his full name, but I know that doesn’t mean he isn’t insane.

    Hokie: Do they still have the “buy me a gift” option on the site? I have never known anyone who actually used that!

  544. Josh says:

    Chit chat chit chat…

  545. Josh says:

    @SouthernSB

    1. One of the reasons I don’t hookup with more than one SBs at one time.

    2. SA must require proof of age if an SB looks too young, along the lines of buying cigarettes.

  546. hokiedarlin says:

    Speaking of Christmas, are they going to do the “Christmas Wishlist” on SA this year? I wish they would. I think it would be a good way to test out these guys who claim they have so much money. Have you guys had good experiences with the wishlist? What are your thoughts on it?

  547. SouthernSB says:

    @Rebecca-How far from your city is he? Does he plan on you staying the whole weekend? If yes, ask yourself this, would you spend the whole weekend with a man you only talked to two times in your whole entire life?

  548. He’s gonna make SugarBaby soup of you.

  549. Rebecca says:

    I have a diamond SD asking to meet me in his city this weekend. We have only been talking one day. We plan on Skyping tomorrow at least. Fellow SBs, would you go on such short notice?

  550. SouthernSB says:

    BTW, Happy Thanksgiving everyone!!!

  551. SouthernSB says:

    Did anyone read this story? It should put the fear of the almighty in the heart of any SD taking up a two for one deal.
    []http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/11/27/date-with-twins-robbery_n_6233292.html[]

  552. Elaine says:

    @Josh

    Oh well, on a total of approx. 3 million, it is not even that bad 😉

  553. Josh says:

    @Eloquence, I neither understand what you write nor even try to do so.

    @Elaine, close to 5,000 dead-broke princess in the SA system. :(

  554. Eloquence says:

    @ Josh

    Instead, would you rather hear her say: “Yes’um master, I’s like’s those there. May’s I have them’s in 2 colors?”

  555. Elaine says:

    @Josh

    How many “princess” profiles?

  556. Josh says:

    “I’m looking for someone to show me the finer things in life and treat me like the princess I am.”

    If she were indeed a princess she would not have to beg to be treated as a princess. LOL!

  557. Elaine says:

    @FB

    As it seems that a lot of SBs not know how to write a captivating profile, I think the simple and clear salt example is very understandable and helpfull for those that want to put more effort in making an outstanding profile.
    What seems like the most basic marketing lesson for some, might be a complete eyeopener for others.

    I think flyR is doing both SBs and SDs a favour with his advice.
    Makes it less boring for SDs to wade through all the same, uninspiring SB profiles. 😉

    Some SDs only watch the pictures, as a sort of catalogue for a quick p4p lay, an intelligently written profile can weed these out.
    Unless that is what a SB is looking for, but I don’t think those are the ones seeking the blog for advice.

  558. Josh says:

    There are at least 1400 female profiles on SA that have “quirky” somewhere in their profile.

  559. Josh says:

    []https://www.seekingarrangement.com/member/eff56b7b/view[]

    Please post the URL of your profile, which looks something like the URL above.

    []

  560. Bianca_SB says:

    @Josh Ha! I’ll take whatever type I am offered. :)
    I hadn’t read through all the comments here before I asked though…and there is quite a good bit of info here already that I will be taking into account when I edit my profile again. You can find profiles by tag lines, correct? You should be able to find mine by searching for “quirky” looking for same.

  561. Elaine says:

    @Bianca_SB

    We will need your profile number to be able to give ANY kind of criticism
    :-)

  562. FatB'StardSA says:

    @flyR

    Another long winded post discussing how to market salt. Seeing as you are a marketing guru please present another case study when you choose to babble on the blog.

  563. Josh says:

    @Bianca_SB

    Every piece of criticism here would be fairly constructive. It just depends if you like long-winded criticism OR down and dirty, get the job done quick variety. 😉

  564. Bianca_SB says:

    This has been my favorite Christmas song since I was a little kid! Is that weird? lol

    I’m rather new here. *waves hello to everyone* How can I get constructive criticism on my profile?

  565. Lady Vuitton says:

    Happy Thanksgiving from the UK

    How is everyone?

  566. Elaine says:

    For me no Thanksgiving -here the turkeys are safe till Christmas!- but to all of you: Happy Thanksgiving! :-)

  567. Chloe_101 says:

    Hope that everyone has a happy thanksgiving!

  568. Elaine says:

    @ flyR

    Really, “speil check”? 😉

  569. flyR says:

    simplicity is the ultimate sophistication and says you care

  570. flyR says:

    Successful profile

    Authentic You

    Target Market

    Visioning

    Outline

    Draft (in word or wp)

    Edit and speil check

    Test market

    Analysis of responses –

    Edit

    Enjoy

  571. Elaine says:

    @ Resop2 says:

    “I think I have a new turn off. Lack of white space.
    If a profile rambles on and on for 40-50 lines without a break that makes me..”

    …stop, or not even begin, reading!

    So annoying having to work yourself through a slurry of words, especially on a mobile device.
    I think indeed it says something about the writer …

  572. flyR says:

    @Elaine “It really is no rocketscience”

    It never ceases to amaze me that the potential SB who would spend hours getting ready for an important date will spend only minutes on a profile.

    Should be a work in progress for a number of reasons…. Thinking about what type of contacts you are getting and how do you move to the authentic zone. As a bonus the default search presentation option is newest profile first. An edited profile is considered “new” by the system. (If I am searching I search by most recent signon as those are the people who are most likely to be looking)

  573. zora says:

    This is such an exciting and eyeopening perception.
    funny, i was at my desk humming this song all day, then I long in and see this..
    ..Santas elves passing me a christmasy message about a new SD maybe..hehehe

  574. Elaine says:

    @ flyR

    “If there is one secret for successful sugarbabyhood it is finding the authentic you and the opportunity you have to enhance someone’s life and be compensated for that gift.”

    So true!
    Those who understand this will be succesful in every aspect of life, and especially in sugar.
    Even against all other odds such as: race, age or location.

    I think all hot & young girls who complain about not finding a quality SD, are doing wrong in this department; differentiation!
    Hot & young there is plenty on sites like this, it is like the ordinary, cheap salt, nothing special.

    Make average, meaningless advertisement (profile), and you will attract quantity “buyers”.
    Differentiate and make an outstanding advertisement (profile), and you will attract quality “buyers”.

    It really is no rocketscience 😉

  575. Chloe_101 says:

    @FlyR Just read your last post. Very well stated! Quality triumphs quantity.

  576. Chloe says:

    I@yougottabekiddingme Thank you for the suggestions. I did not take what you stated as harsh, you were just being honest. In addition, constructive criticism can be a positive thing. Therefore, my profile has been revised again. Have a Happy Thanksgiving! : )

  577. flyR says:

    “”If a profile rambles on and on for 40-50 lines without a break, that makes me think that the person who wrote the profile would be troublesome to be with.””

    WARNING the following comments are offered after a wonderful evening of fun , good wine ( Melville Pinot ) and revelry. No liability is assumed by the offeror.

    A profile is a marketing piece . Selling sex can be like selling any common commodity such at salt…… You can buy salt “harvested” in tidal marshes for perhaps $0.35 per pound or you can buy “sea salt” for $3.50 per pound. The old restaurant advice also holds true – sell the sizzle not he cow.

    Unless you are Hemmingway or Hunter S Thompson you need to outline your profile based on how you want to create value. If you are selling mechanical sex you are selling the $0.35 per pound stuff.

    Let’s imagine we are the Google of sensual life enhancement. We assess our raw materials , manufacturing competence,cost structure and most importantly the market opportunity.

    If you are simply looking to partake in the spill your seed gratification market the girls of Hollywood Boulevard and Times Squire have refined the product and there are an abundance of producers delivering an undifferentiated product with minimal variable costs,

    There are market opportunities including those who want to be humiliated. I can not offer any insight other than the SB whom I helped with her profile. She did a quick market test of a simple sentence designed to attract those seeking discipline and the results were amazing, both in quality and quantity.

    One of the questions I ask our clients is “you are telling us the brokers want you to have the lowest price, but your typical client drives an expensive car, lives in an expensive neighborhood, sends his kids to the best private schools. He is not responding to price but to value received.

    Your corporate clients have slightly different needs. Their people costs are vastly more than their real estate costs. If the real estate increases productivity by 5% it is “free”

    Success lies in differentiating your product through both the characteristics of the product and marketing. Years ago one of my favorite restaurants also happened to be the favorite of some of the slime of Hollywood. They would appear with their “dates” with abundant cleavage, bubble gum and a tolerance for groping during dinner. Some were especially gifted in their knowledge of the entire alphabet.

    Other places you would find a very different environment, very classy women with substantially older gentlemen engaged in animated conversations with a highly sensual undertone, The young women appeared to be “associates” to the casual observer.

    A very general profile designed to attract everyone often results in attracting nobody with real sugar intentions . Recommended reading – The Authentic Swing, Steve Pressfield (no it’s not about swinging but about being the authentic you) If there is one secret for successful sugarbabbyhood it is finding the authentic you and the opportunity you have to enhance someone’s life and be compensated for that gift.

    To communicate the message you need to expend the effort
    your uniqueness
    market opportunity
    getting to yes
    adequate rewards

    circling back to the beginning if you are offering ” common salt” your prospects are dismal. If you are offering a life changing experience to someone who is capable of rewarding the producer you are looking at success.

  578. Hmmm…interesting.

    Care to share what experience(s) changed your perspective?

  579. Eloquence says:

    I use to think older men meant maturity and with such age acquirement came wisdom expounded upon their instinctual being from experience and observations thereof, now I view age as a number and the man in question, carries his own
    iridescent aphrodisiac.

  580. “I saw one profile recently that had two pictures. One was a head shot of an African-American lady and the other was a body shot of an obviously Caucasian lady.

    Say what?”

    I think that means she’s biracial.

  581. Josh says:

    By the way, are you wearing white lipstick in the sneaker photo? I like it because it is outdoors, but based on @y’s observations and white lipstick, remove it. The other two are good photos. Use the red one as main photo. The black outfit photo is not bad either. Once your profile is significantly improved, rotate the photos to observe any difference in response.

  582. Josh says:

    @resop2

    “I think I have a new turn off.”

    Care to elaborate on the old turn offs?

  583. resop2 says:

    I think I have a new turn off. Lack of white space.

    If a profile rambles on and on for 40-50 lines without a break, that makes me think that the person who wrote the profile would be troublesome to be with.

  584. Dazed-SD says:

    About race,I actually prefer AA and Asian woman, does that make me a racist ?
    No I think not, but I do find dark hair and dark eyes every sexy,, just my thing. It;s not that I don’t find Blonde, Brunette, Redhead attractive and sexy, it’s just my preference. For me, it’s about making love to the world. I have dated all races and love them all ! LOL

    @OnlineNewbieSD,, this is really wierd, I’ve had some of the same emails and profiles send and reading,,maybe it’s because we are both from Michigan !

  585. resop2 says:

    I saw one profile recently that had two pictures. One was a head shot of an African-American lady and the other was a body shot of an obviously Caucasian lady.

    Say what?

  586. @Chloe

    I know that youve spent some time updating your profile, and I hope this isnt too harsh, but I think it still needs some work. Your profile should tell a story, and give someone a glimpse into who you are, what you offer, and what you desire. You state that you are listing ten captivating and alluring facts about yourself, but it reads more like a dry, cliche resume. It’s redundant in parts, doesnt flow well, and has too much sex appeal without much substance. There are also some spelling and grammatical errors that will be IMMEDIATELY off-putting to many potentials, and the picture of you with a man’s leg and tennis shoe will surely get you nexted. Keep the 1st and 3rd picture, and do away with the others. Id say masturbate while reading something mentally and intellectually stimulating, and then revisit your profile.

  587. gtt_envy says:

    @FLYR, I agree :(

    All I can say is Ferguson is making it far worse coupled with the past 6 years of Obama making race a issue.

    I have been in Dallas all week at 2 different manufacturing facilities…..primarily Mexican and White and both were equally pissed “Don’t those people have jobs?”, “Yeah, riot, loot, and destroy S.O.S”, “Animals freaking animals!”

    Were 3 of the quotes I heard!! I personally love ethnic women black and hispanic being tied for first. I’m not into asian women 95% of the time rarely do I find them sexy.

  588. “I would say the feather kind are preferred, so you can tickle your SD/SB’s fancy.”

    Ha! I like it!

    Though the dot might mark the spot?

    Or perhaps marking the fancy with a dot, then tickling it with a feather. I could go for that. But not in a double penetration kind of way…I mean…well…never mind.

    Anyway…

    I think that carrying yourself without a chip on your shoulder goes a long way. Diversify your portfolio, polish, prune and own your shit. No need for disclaimers or proclamations. People will like as they will.

  589. Josh says:

    @yougottabekiddingme

    “Are we talking dot or feather?”

    That’s clever.

    Me thinks that dot is real Indian. Feather is fake Indian.

    @Sexy can clarify but as she is in Chicago, she may be referring to the dot. 😉

  590. Eloquence says:

    I would say the feather kind are preferred, so you can tickle your SD/SB’s fancy.

  591. Betty says:

    Hello, Who’s gonna be my Sanda daddy? Just message me

  592. PapiPissed says:

    Guys tonight I can’t see any of the pictures on any browser! I just see a small question mark instead! Is this happening just to me?

  593. Lainey says:

    Soooo my shit has been “BLOWIN UP!” Don’t know if it’s the lonely holiday season, but I’ve had to be chatting with approx 20+ SD these last few days. I swear when people think they are irreplaceable, in SWOOPS another. I must “smell” available. Lol

  594. Nicegirl says:

    Santa Baby… Love that song.

  595. FlyR says:

    Sadly the nation is probably more polarized than it has been since the 50’s and perhaps 100 years earlier. We have largely thrown away the gains of three decades

  596. “sexyrockstar says:
    November 26, 2014 at 1:01 pm
    I’m not attracted to Indians. Am I racist? No, I’m just not attracted to them.”

    Are we talking dot or feather?

    What about Indians do you find unattractive?

    @online

    Not responding to her was a good choice.

    Regarding girls who post here questioning race factors, some exemplify the stereotype that some find off-putting. A recent example is the new girl who posted her ID, and Lainey shared constructively that her unnatural hair color locked her into a stereotype, and would narrow the pool of potentials. The girl was receptive, and updated her photos and profile. Lainey states that men pretty much claim that her blackness doesn’t matter because she does not BEHAVE a certain way that is associated with the black race.

    I know people who are racist against their own people. Good people can be racist, sexy people can be racist, intelligent people can be racist, non-white people can be racist, people who work with/have kids with/ date people of other races can be racist.

    I’m just saying that it’s generally not soley a lack of physical attraction, but often times behaviors that are most off-putting.

  597. Josh says:

    I am currently communicating with an AA. She approached me with very interesting comments after thoroughly reading my profile.

    She is too young though and I have told her that if she wanted to continue any further she will have to bring proofS of her age.

    She sounds really “fun” though.

  598. I think Santa Baby is such a cute song! It is interesting that she may be referring to a sugar daddy! I never thought of it that way! <3

  599. AmericanGirl87 says:

    I think Santa Baby is such a cute song! It is interesting that she may be referring to a sugar daddy! I never thought of it that way!

  600. Elaine says:

    Well, I think I was.

  601. Lainey says:

    @Elaine Ok, lets be facetious when speaking about race. Smh

  602. Elaine says:

    Yes “coloured”
    Something wrong with that?

  603. Lainey says:

    @Elaine “coloured”? Really?

  604. Elaine says:

    @Newbie

    And here the circle is round again 😉
    And no, don’t think such profiles are very succesful.
    So then the racist discussion starts all over again by those kinda girls, stating they are not succesful because of…? Yes: …racism!
    Selffullfilling prophecy?

    Apart from liking or not liking the external features, I think a lot of SDs are afraid of exactly this kind of potential drama when dating coloured women…
    And no, I am not judging, I am talking about perception….chicken and egg question…

    @sexyrockstar

    “I’m not attracted to Indians. Am I racist? No, I’m just not attracted to them.”

    I find some Indian men attractive, but am not at all physically attracted to black or eastern asiatic men.

    So I suppose that makes me a baldist, obesist, racist? 😉

  605. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Lainey – I completely agree with your conversation…complaining about ghetto girls, or ignorant girls, or trashy girls or whatever is one thing…it’s when you put the color that is frustrating to me. Oh, and don’t complain about ignorance and not be able to use language yourself “if you looking”…

    Seriously…if you’re not going to take the Sugar Bowl seriously, why be here?

    AND – As @Josh has pointed out in the past…who at SA approved the “Update” in the profile…language like that should not be approved and the person should be removed from the system!

  606. Lainey says:

    @OnlineNewbieSD that’s so ignorant and negative to even put in a profile. Like OH WELL, THEY DON’T LIKE YOU! GTF OVER IT ALREADY! If someone tells me I’m not their type I’d just keep it moving.

    Funny though that I was just on the phone with a guy complaining about “black girls” to which I said “im black”.. He goes “well you don’t look black and you’re not ghetto.. you know what I mean a typical black girl”.. to which I said “NO I DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN”.. So I will say, some men are VERY prejudice. I hear it all the time. I’m only like a quarter black but I just laugh at the moment a MF puts his foot in his mouth being a dick. Lol

  607. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    Here is the latest profile text that got ME started on the race issue again…Her original email to me (she’s a flight, or full day’s drive away from me) was this:

    “I am XXXXXX, pretty interested on getting to know you if possible?”

    I clicked to her profile and saw this “Update” listed:

    “Some of the things I seen is highly Ignorant. I love people of all color, white or Blue , pink, black, purple etc. I am a Human being. I see a lot of Men prefer “Lighter” skin… Then they say No hard feelings. Just say you rather date your own race than outside. I DO NOT like Prejudice people, I am mixed with everything, that is why I always prefer to myself as a human being. Get real if you looking for Plastic surgery “Barbie” look a like Im not your girl. I am blessed with a beautiful body with natural curves, No surgery needed.”

    I didn’t even respond to the original email…why would I want to risk the backlash of being called an ignorant racist for not being attracted to her? Why would anyone searching profiles read that and want to connect? I just don’t get it!

  608. Lainey says:

    Lmao @SexyRockStar. My daughters dad is Indian

  609. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Sexy – I think my comments on things to this point are more for those from another race reaching out to someone and then blowing them up (or even doing so right in the profile) as a racist, rather than having the perspective you have.

    If I reach out to a non-white profile and I’m declined, the first words I think of are not “racist bitch”…in a few profiles recently, that have reached out to me, I received “racist” comments back…or even the text of “ignorant racists” RIGHT IN THE PROFILE! Come on..In my opinion, if your first thought after someone declines your advances is “racist” there is something wrong. The Sugar Bowl will destroy the person who thinks like that!

  610. Lacy says:

    I wondered if I was cynical for thinking that of this song- now I know! Santa you sexy man you!

  611. sexyrockstar says:

    I’m not attracted to Indians. Am I racist? No, I’m just not attracted to them.

  612. Chloe_101 says:

    Happy Thanksgiving Eve! Got off work early. So my updated profile has been approved. Please review1929149

  613. Whoa!!!

    There you have ’em.

    Lainey…

    My breasts truly admire you.

  614. Lainey says:

    @Josh Happy now? Lol

  615. Josh says:

    @Lainey

    Can you please get rid of that receipt and put your boobs back. 😉

  616. Josh says:

    Let’s find fault with this write-up

    []http://www.avoiceformalestudents.com/avfms-mega-post-10-reasons-false-rape-accusations-are-common/[]

  617. Josh says:

    @Lake

    You’ve been heard. Let’s just celebrate new blog that we ddon’t have to wait forever for the page to load.

    There no reason whatsoever to comment on the blog topic.

    @TSD above is full of shit.

  618. Lake says:

    I honestly hate this song. It used to be catchy, but then it just gets annoying. I would never sing this for anyone, I’m a bit of a scrooge though, give me some alcohol, that’s a merry christmas/happy holiday.

  619. @Elaine and Lainey

    Sounds like you need a pair of suction cup gloves. Slap em on his head, have him call you Aunty.

  620. Josh says:

    I am anti-whinist and anti-bitchist.

    If a girl is not whinny and not bitchy, then I like a wide variety of them.

    But if a 20-something Gisele Bundachen look-alike starts whinning and/or bitching then both my little as well as big head shut down…

    hasta la vista babe…

  621. @Elaine

    Shhhh… speak of him, and he will cum!

    The race issue is trivial for me. I blow who I wanna. I do, however, recognize that race is a factor in some people’s choosing/preference for a variety of reasons. To say that race preference is comprehensively comparable to hair color etc dismisses the negative perceptions assigned to race. No one says they don’t date redheads because they’re uneducated, dramatic, golddiggers with 5 kids and 8 baby daddies. A slightly comparable example would be blonds as blonds are stereotyped negatively. That said, one would be foolish to dismiss all blonds solely because ditsy airheads don’t appeal to him. Ditsy airheads come in all hair colors. I think a better stance would be against dating ditsy, uneducated, dramatic, golddiggers no matter their race.

    Just my thoughts. But again, these things are mostly trivial to me. If I choose not to date a man, it likely has nothing to do with his race. Ive dated men of different races, body types, personality types, social status etc. Fucked their lights out all the same. International, multifaceted vagina, perhaps.

    I kinda like the idea of someone throwing a dart in my vagina, and going where ever it lands. A global adventure…yay!

    @Josh

    Don’t worry, babe, my sanity hasn’t completely escaped me.

  622. ChristinaKC says:

    Good morning everyone! I hope everyone has a good Thanksgiving tomorrow!

  623. Lainey says:

    “…while watching a movie is *hot to me. BUUUUTTT if he’s *bald and super hot then I’m all about it..”

  624. Lainey says:

    @Elaine I’m sadly a baldist too. Lol. I dunno something about running my fingers through his hair and pulling it while making out, fucking or simply watching a movie is got to me. BUUUUTTT if he’s super hot then I’m ALL about it! Makes for odd head though (receiving).

  625. Lainey says:

    I am Sicilian, Calabrian, Persian and Black and I have NO ISSUES on ANY SD site

  626. Elaine says:

    Oh please, not again the racism issue…

    If some men are not attracted to ladies with a darker skin, in my idea it is the same as some not being attracted to redhairs, latina’s, eskimo’s, caucasians, asians, tall, or short, skinny or overweighted etc. girls.
    Isn’t it a matter of preferences, and because this is sugar, the men just choose what they prefer?

    I am not attracted to bald and overweight men, just can’t do it, does that make me a “baldist” or a “obesist”?

    @ Ykbkm

    Hey, we know what sperm would win: I would put my money on SunnyJacob’s uber sperm! 😉

  627. Re:race

    If three sperm from every demographic lined up for a race, which one would win?

    Ready, set, GO little swimmer! GO, GO!!!

    Would the quickest sperm be tested for steroids?

    According to the Pythagorean Theory, the sperm with the most swag will win.

    Re: racism

    I think it comes down to appeal, in some cases. Sometimes it’s that a potential might exemplify stereotypes that the suitor finds unappealing. Sometimes, it’s a matter of perceived stigma and forecasting of others based merely on ones association with stigmatized race, and presumed stereotypes. Sometimes, it’s preference in certain body types, facial features or skin tones (across the pigment spectrum). I think that mostly, it’s an issue of attitudes associated with or projected upon a race.

    Had a guy ask me once if I wouldn’t date him because he’s Asian. I answered that I wouldn’t date him because he’s annoying and clingy, wear socks with sandals, and eats like a famished hyena, which I don’t find representative of his entire continent.

    I do think that the proclamation, “I don’t date this race or that race” has some roots in racism (or perhaps more accurately, prejudice) in more cases than not. Even if it’s subconscious or projected by social inscription.

    To each it’s own, for sure. Of course, everyone is guilty of prejudice to some degree (it may not be racial prejudice). But it is no secret (despite anyone’s desire for equality), that the last girl you bring home to mom, and the last girl most “esteemed” men want to be seen with in public is the most pigmented.

  628. Josh says:

    @y

    You’re the new proud winner of incomprehensible blog posts. The above takes the cake. 😉

    Note: Eloquence used to post like that but she’s on a sanity break of sorts.

  629. Hug a thong! You should see what he looks like in chaps!*

    Sweetbabyheyzeus!!!

    *Ive never witnessed JoshGuruKingSchlongSwinga in the flesh (Ive only read of his omnipotence in scripture, but I’m a believer), nor do I know that he owns chaps, but you should try convince him to wear a pair while you re-verse that cowgirl.

    That’d be sexy! Hilarious, in the least.

    As for the topic…for some reason, I’m thinking about having sex in a chimney, but I don’t have a chimney. Need to find a chimney…

  630. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Szpetot – I just received a message from a SB that would be a distance arrangement (which I am NOT looking for)…the profile says she is Italian and Native American, then goes on a rant about people only wanting plastic barbies and how she’s human, not any specific race (loved the fact she referenced her ethnicity though)…

    as comments on past blog posts show, there can be difficulty with non-Caucasian SBs on SA. I’m sure there are other sites that experience the same issues…but…to be “equal” everyone needs to understand “it takes all types” and attraction is about a PERSONAL connection…I’m sure, when I sent her a message claiming to not be interested because of the distance, she chalked me up as another ignorant racist on the site…but…I just wasn’t attracted to her body type or her blasting the audience she wants to attract on her profile or the distance one of us would have to travel to see each other, it had nothing to do with the fact that she has darker skin than me.

    Until everyone can lose the bias and attitude through which they see the world, there will always be racism and bigotry (directed in ALL directions)…until then, we’re just not all going to get along…IMHO

  631. OnlineNewbieSD says:

    @Josh – “opposite attracts” LOVE it…hahaha

  632. Josh says:

    @Eloquence

    I guess opposite attracts. I will hug you if you’re in a thong. 😉

  633. Eloquence says:

    @ Josh

    I will hug you as long as you are not in a thong. :)

  634. Szpetot says:

    this world needs equality, people should stop complaining about their skin color, ethnicity and sex orientation. Unless it is some extreme case, out of experience I have to say that most of my underage friends had sex out of curiosity, later claiming that they were abused. I know for a fact that they were obsessed by having sex, before it even happened for them, especially when a successful man came into the picture… if it didn’t turned out the way it wanted, all of a sudden it was an abuse… I am sorry, as a person that was abused and molested as a child I have to say come on! You are not the first and not the last one… the truth has to come to light, but never put yourself in a position where you are a victim because if you do, it is difficult to erease that image out of your past…. I see myself as a lot stronger than that…. and i feel it is manageable for many…

  635. Josh says:

    @TSD

    Would it be too rude if I told you to fuck yourself with a big fat dildo? 😉

  636. TSD says:

    Yes, Josh, we already know you hate women deep down and think they are all liars. Please stick to the subject of the blog post. Thank you.

  637. Josh says:

    *saved from this “monster.”

  638. Josh says:

    Hug a thong would be a lot more fun. 😉

  639. Josh says:

    I don’t doubt that Bill Cosby has not done hanky panky in all those years of fame. But rape is a very serious allegation. It must have been reported promptly and the alleged perpetrator must have been tried with the full extent of the law.

    My message to the 12 (and counting) gold-diggers, who are accusing Bill Cosby NOW instead of when the court of law could have done something about this “sociopath”:

    You have committed grave crime against the other alleged victims. If one or two of you had come forward years ago, then Cosby would have been in jail and the rest of you would have been saved for this “monster.”

  640. Eloquence says:

    Let’s push the boundaries… Hug-A-Thon to ignite the inner sparkle!

  641. HoneyDippedCaramel says:

    Santa Baby is one of my favorite songs.

  642. SouthernSB says:

    @Howl-You’re the only one. “Santa Baby” and “My Heart Belongs to Daddy” sung by Marilyn Monroe are both songs about sugaring. Every girl knows that.

  643. Howl says:

    Damn, Josh!! u_ú

  644. Howl says:

    I love this song but I gotta tell I never thought of it as Sugaring xD

    Btw, I’m 1st 😛

  645. Josh says:

    Virgin blog! :) Thanks Sean.

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