There as many perfect activities for couples as there are couples in the first place. And of course a couple may want something different any time they get together. So don’t think that skiing is the only thing to do in winter, spending a day at the beach is the only thing to do in the summer, or that dressing up to hit a crazy costume party is the only thing to do for Halloween.
It is fun to dress up with your date as Dracula and Bride of Dracula, have a couple of Bloody Marys, take in the other costumes, and get weird. But there is another activity that couples on SeekingArrangement.com and other dating sites really enjoy because it takes the stress out of All Hallow’s Eve: watching scary stuff on TV.
Television news, for example, is usually very low-stress.
Think about it: Where do most murders, hauntings, kidnappings, etc. happen? In the home. So staying home and catching one of these five spooky shows actually is scarier than going out to a party or even a scary movie!
Point your DVR at one of these horripilating programs, and make sure that your microwave popcorn isn’t possessed by the ghost of Orville Redenbacher:
What it is: Really the king of horror shows, The Walking Dead is a favorite among zombie aficionados and apocalypse dystopia fans of all stripes. A group of survivors tries to keep intact both their sanity and what little civilization remains in a world full of shambling horrors that want to recruit new members by biting off chunks of their flesh.
Why it’s scary: The Walking Dead isn’t scary just because of its undead monsters (the show’s zombie effects are the best on TV or in any movie), but because of the claustrophobic feeling that viewers get watching the group of survivors get whittled away, one by one.
Why you should watch it on Halloween with your date: Boo! The sheriff almost got his face eaten! She jumps into your arms or he puts a comforting arm around your shoulder every time something comes screaming through the woods. You get to comfort each other and cuddle closer. Halloween WIN.
“Did I say cuddle? I meant run in opposite directions really fast!”
What it is: American Horror Story is an anthology series featuring many of the same actors playing different characters from season to season. The first was “Murder House,” a crazy quilt of supernatural scares and ominous weirdness. Season 2, which many think was the best so far, was “Asylum,” a genuinely frightening story with more twists than an M. Night Shyamalan film festival. Season 3 was the campy “Coven,” and the current Season 4 is “Freak Show,” which so far has lived up to its name. Fuh-reaky.
Why it’s scary: Each season (the first three of which are available on Netflix) has its own thrills and scares, but there is a creepiness factor to every episode that is seriously unsettling. “Coven” sometimes seemed to wink at the audience, making it less effective, but all of the other seasons leave you wanting to take a shower. During the day. With an armed guard posted outside.
Why you should watch it on Halloween with your date: There are plenty of jump-into-the-air scares to be had. More than that, the disturbing sexual and/or violent creepiness of just about every character in every episode will make those little kinky requests you make in the bedroom seem absolutely normal in comparison.
It’s hard to decide what part of this picture is the most disturbing.
What it is: In its tenth season, Brothers Sam and Dean continue to roam the country, hunting evil supernatural creatures, mostly demons, while cracking wise and generally being adorable. (This show is on The CW, after all, so hotness of all characters good or evil rules the day.)
Why it’s scary: Supernatural isn’t scary like The Walking Dead or American Horror Story. It’s more like Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Charmed: Witty and fun, but with moments of really freaky terror. This show does a better job than Ghost Hunters at suggesting there is another, far less sane or friendly layer of reality that wants to come into ours.
“Honey, the box is stuck on channel pi again!”
Why you should watch it with your date: Hot, hot actors, male and female alike, doing heroic things. If that doesn’t get your partner’s motor running, check for a pulse.
What it is: To be honest, I thought Sleepy Hollow was going to be as lame as a one-legged duck, but in fact it has turned into a big hit, and for good reason: It is absolutely insane. It’s the story of Ichabod Crane, a very attractive soldier who has been resurrected 230 years after he fought this Headless Horseman fellow. His resurrection also brings back H.H., and the game is afoot. The combination of creepy special effects and Ichabod’s attempts to fit into the modern world isn’t just jarring but also just hilarious. The banter between Ichabod and his sassy police detective sidekick is razor sharp.
Why it’s scary: The Headless Horseman is just plain frightening. He was terrifying in old movies where it was obviously a guy with a tall collar and coat over his real head, but he’s even freakier with the way he can be portrayed in movies and TV today. Not only that, but real lives are often at stake because of the occult proclivities of their various supernatural antagonists. Spooky and fun.
Why you should watch it on Halloween with your date: Who doesn’t like a laugh with their screams? More romantically, the setting is always blustery and menacing, which will put both of you in a mood that might lead to a little skulking around in a dark house on the way to the bedroom after you turn off the television.
“Honey, seriously, this is freaking me out!”
(Note: This article was written just before the whole thing with the convicted molester and the subsequent immediate cancellation of the series. Maybe we should be thankful for small mercies.)
What it is: The Onion A.V. Club called this show a “horror story posing as a reality television program,” and it’s hard to disagree. This family’s adventures are more apocalyptic than The Walking Dead, more full of freaks than American Horror Story, more contrary to normal people’s reality than Supernatural, and make you wish that the entire family was headless rather than just the one guy on Sleepy Hollow. It’s the story of child pageant contestant “Honey Boo Boo” and her overweight American nightmare of a Deep South family.
Why it’s scary: This rural Georgia family includes a mother called “Mama June,” a morbidly obese woman who talks about her “neck crust”; her common-law husband, “Sugar Bear,” who is unrelated to the children other than Honey Boo Boo; and three other daughters nicknamed “Pumpkin,” “Chubbs,” and “Chickadee,” one of whom gave birth out of wedlock on the first-season finale. Also it has “Boo” not once but twice in its title. Lots and lots of “Boo.”
Book, not so much.
Why you should watch it on Halloween with your date: You know what? Sometimes it’s fun to turn the TV off and go to a party and hang out with people who aren’t Type II diabetic and talk like a tire being dragged through mud. Here Comes Honey Boo Boo will instantly make the whole rest of the world, including you and your date, seem much, much more intelligent and sexier.
No matter what a couple chooses to do on Halloween, whether it’s weaving your way through a haunted haybale maze or attending a midnight masquerade ball, make sure you set the DVR for something a little chilling to watch when you get back. Remember: When faced with a frightening situation, you always want to stick together and stay close. How you do that is for you decide!
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