3 years ago
Four Best Practices for Married Sugar Daddies

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SeekingArrangement is a great place for both single and married Sugar Daddies looking for a little Sugar to sweeten up their daily grind. Sugar can often be an arrangement with no strings attached, although sometimes emotions can get involved and complicate things. If you are a married Sugar Daddy involved with a single Sugar Baby, here are some tips to help you navigate the rougher paths of Sugar.

Set Boundaries

Boundaries should be set with in your arrangement from the get-go. If this means you can only see your Sugar Baby once a month, then this should be discussed when you initially meet. You should also decide which discussions are off-limits. You should keep away from hot-button topics such as your wife, kids, or anything too personal. You do not want to cross a line, or get your Sugar Baby involved in the mama drama. Your arrangement should be something to distract you from the daily routine.

Your Needs are #1

No strings attached means exactly that. Your other strings should be kept perfectly intact throughout the arrangement process. No red flags should be raised to your coworkers, friends, or family. Your Sugar Baby should be totally aware that she may not be your top priority, and that the relationship will be a discrete one. You can still make your Sugar Baby feel satisfied and taken care of through little presents or gifts. This will have to suffice if you don’t necessarily have the time to commit to seeing her face to face.

The L Word

This rule is pretty simple. Do not fall in love, period. Unless you are exiting your marriage, do not fall for your Sugar Baby. It’s better to not lead anyone on, and it could get extremely messy. Don’t let your hormones fool you – the L word you could actually be falling in is Lust. And on the note of lust, always be safe when you are sexually active with your Sugar Baby. You wouldn’t want any accidents to occur. Baby mama drama, no thank you.

Get Creative!

Your arrangement with your Sugar Baby will most likely be a bit complicated. This could mean you won’t be able to see each other often, and she is could be located in another town or state. Distance and discretion, the two Ds, are crucial to the success of a NSA arrangement. Make sure you schedule out time for calls, Skype sessions, and send her tokens of your affection. This will make her feel wanted. Always, always, always make sure your tracks are covered. Get a disposable phone, clear browser history – whatever it takes to ensure you are safe in the arrangement.

If you are married and discreetly seeing other people, it can be complicated, yet the rewards can be very worthwhile. Unless you are in an open marriage, make sure to always keep the two situations completely separate from one another, and have fun! YOLO, right?

What other rules would you consider in a NSA arrangement?

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627 Responses to “Four Best Practices for Married Sugar Daddies”

  1. Elaine says:

    @Elusiveceo

    Unfortunaly far too many SDs here are chasing exactly the type of clueless SB that will never understand “Boundaries”…

    Start being more selective, reading profiles well, invest some time in communicating before meeting, and I am sure you will find the right SBs…

    I am always surprised to hear some SDs and SBs are having 5 or 6 meetings per week? Well if you go for quantity that might be the right choice, if you go for quality, I think you will hardly find 1 pot.per month worth while meeting…

    For me this strategy saves me a lot of time and has given me great results so far.

  2. Elusiveceo says:

    great post.. far too many women on here that I have met, don’t understand “Boundaries”

  3. Jane says:

    I love a married man. Keeps him busy and out of my business.

  4. Ipunchglitter says:

    I think I can fully understand the fact of being discreet and not wanting to be outed and yet in the long term having something much more beneficial to us both.

  5. Nicegirl says:

    ChicagoBaby.. “Some refuse to pay for hotel rooms, so I just rather be with someone divorced or single assuming they have a place for me and him discreetly.”

    If an SD refuses to pay for a hotel room then he is not an SD and you should be happy that you just dodged a bullet.

    Josh – “In fact its easier to keep sex altogether out of the equation”
    “Of course, isn’t this the holy grail for the SBs to strive for? ;)”

    Only SB’s that don’t find you attractive, why else would she not want to have sex? I know this is very difficult to ascertain but many women love sex they just might need to be with the right man.

  6. Josh says:

    Goddess Lady Petite

    “In fact its easier to keep sex altogether out of the equation”

    Of course, isn’t this the holy grail for the SBs to strive for? 😉

  7. Exotic Northwest Baby says:

    Goddess Lady Petite — I 100% agree!

  8. ChicagoBaby says:

    It is tough to see married men as obviously they need a more discreet place. I unfortunately do not have the luxury to be able to rent on my own, and roommates help with that. Some refuse to pay for hotel rooms, so I just rather be with someone divorced or single assuming they have a place for me and him discreetly.

    Thankful Chicago has some great guys but so far my search is ongoing. :/

  9. Married SD’s I have to say are my favorite. I like that we can keep our relationship from getting too serious and keep it light and fun. In fact its easier to keep sex altogether out of the equation and just have fun times together out on the town :) Its easier to become friends and stay friends after its all over.

  10. Josh says:

    @Xxxx

    “What can I say to ease his mind”

    You may say, and I quote, “Let’s do it again.” 😉

  11. I had a married SD once who acted as if he didn’t give a single care in the world if his wife found out. He would text constantly in the middle of the night. He broke all the rules and began to get too attached. Worst of all he was…splenda or should i say pure salt. Now that i think about it, it was a platonic relationship so i guess it was okay but just too much effort.

  12. Xxxx says:

    What if your married SD feels guilty after your first sexual experience together the nxt day? What can I say to ease his mind or do I? We had such a great time

  13. Josh says:

    @Jacob,

    Before anyone gets her panties tangled up, “9 or 10” is referring to hotness and NOT age. OK? 😉

  14. Jacob says:

    Of course, different people have different exponential decay curve for interest in someone. Mine seems to last about a little over a year of peace and tranquility if the girl is a 9 or 10, before there has to be a small challenge that the two of us have to overcome together to produce continued happiness. Yes, happiness is about overcoming manageable challengers. Of course when the hardship is insurmountable or crippling, the result would be discontent.

  15. Jacob says:

    Gentle,

    Some other guy signed up on the blog with a name “SunshineForYou” or something like that. The identical first 8 characters in that name to my old username apparently have confounded the blog software, resulting in my inability to post from my old username. When asked, the management assured me that there was no ban against my old username, so I have to post under the new username. I actually prefer to post under the old username.

    In any case, when sugar level is high and not easily replaceable, the SB’s often ask the question why can’t it continue longer. One of your earlier posts revealed the real answer why: diminishing marginal utility/value of additional identical product/service. It’s just like the 10th apple is not nearly as valuable as the 1st apple, to the owner subjectively. In normal spheres of life, diminishing marginal utility is the reason why the apple orchard owner would trade his 10th (ton of) apple for his 1st (ton of) orange from the orange grove owner and vice versa peacefully, without having the two of them fighting it out until a winner emerges and the transfer is performed by force of violence. Subjective diminishing marginal utility is the very reason for voluntary exchange, and therefore the very foundation of human society. In sugaring, your declining appetite for the same SB results in your desire to have lower the sugar flow rate, returning her to the market place, essentially putting her up for exchange for a different SB from a likewise SD who is releasing his. It’s all fairly simple economics, but takes quite a toll on SB’s who plan their lives without recognizing the natural consequence of diminishing marginal utility (even as they routinely ask the question:”what have you done for me lately?” which is essentially the same issue).

    Reproduction is a simple and elegant solution to the problem (a tried and true solution since the beginning of humanity): put something new on the table for me if you want to keep receiving my support at the same level after I’m bored of your performance as merely a sex object and conversation piece. My baby and your performance as the loyal mother of my baby will keep me interested for the next two decades and probably longer. Myriads of endocrine hormones are already evolved to facilitate this particular exchange and make it stick; it’s a simple, elegant and legal way of getting dopamine and oxycotin that often attach a pretty girl to her drug dealer. Overall, it’s simply an offer of a longer term arrangement at higher flow rate that so many SB’s clamor for. Nothing is free, dear. Women instinctively know this too. When the relationship involves a sugar flow rate high enough, sperm-jacking is a real risk. May as well put it on the table so both parties can make an informed and intelligent decision together that will benefit the baby with proper pre-natal care and preparations instead of blackmails and lawsuits.

    For me, such an approach will also solve the deputization problem as my little empire/fief grows, and succession problem when I get old and ready to die . . . especially since I’m not going to be married again and risking divorce-rape on assets that generate the same high in the absence of any help from a wife per se.

  16. Josh says:

    There are many things a woman can do that would I pay for. For example, if a girl does exotic belly dance for me in the hotel room, I’d pay for that whether sex is involved afterwards or not.

    If a girl is a master storyteller and keeps me entertained with her silly stories, I would look forward to seeing her more compared to if we only had sex.

    If a girl knows tantra I would totally pay her for her tantric touch whether any sex followed or not.

    I am sure that it could be different for different SDs. Some SDs may not give a shit about all that and want their action, some may accept it only in addition to sex, and some may be open to them or other non sexual things independently. Who knows…

  17. Alexis says:

    “Legal age of consent should be lowered so that men engaging in consensual sex do not have to worry about being lied to by their SB and sucked into a dangerous situation .”

    That’s what IDs are for. They’re pretty easy to check to see if they’re valid too.

    “I asked, “How exactly can you keep me on my feet?”

    Five days later I get the response.”

    Seriously, you guys on here are so nice. I mean that in the most warm-hearted way possible. I would have sent a “Forget I asked lol, good luck on your search.” text after 24 hours.

    I never wait over 24 hours for a response. That was a guideline I came up with a long time ago as to not end up wasting my time on futile efforts.

    ***Note: above rule does not apply to SDs

  18. Josh says:

    Re: What makes you a fun companion?

    One of them suggested that she is a blast to hang out with. She loves to laugh, is witty, spontaneous and can “keep you on your feet!”

    I asked, “How exactly can you keep me on my feet?”

    Five days later I get the response.
    “I meant toes, hahaa!!!”

    Does she want men to be interested in more than one thing from her?

    If she does, she is not putting any effort to make it easy for the men, at least this man. :(

  19. gentle(man)soul says:

    Reproduction ? What the heck does that have to do with Sugaring ? BTW,did Sunshine SD reinvent himself as one of the current posters ? Let’s talk about how not to have babies . Remember NSA =no strings attached. We SDs get uncomplicated sex ,you SBs get an allowance ,and —there you go !

    Speaking of which -blackmail ! So Sam ,tell the Blackmailer that extortion is a felony and you will sic the cops on her . Record any threats and keep a file of written material . Hope that she wants payola and not to report you out of vindictiveness .

    @KMS

    Hanging balls ? What old men have you been hanging out with ? You need to be more selective and pick a old stud with a tight package . I guess I deserve that thinking that all old girls over 30 have loose wrinkly skin LOL .

    @all

    Legal age of consent should be lowered so that men engaging in consensual sex do not have to worry about being lied to by their SB and sucked into a dangerous situation . A case I heard about involves just that . A 50 yr old had an affair with a girl who said she was over 20 ,but was in fact 17. The girl won’t testify (consensual) but an angry parent is pushing the case .

  20. Josh says:

    @Sam

    I had written how to avoid and then handle blackmail when it happens. Unfortunately little critters in my phone ate the whole thing. I will try write it again.

  21. RSD says:

    I was blackmailed once. I got her to explain to me the terms of her blackmail over texts and then I informed her that what she was doing was blackmail and I would hate for her to go to prison. She let go after that. Be careful not to blackmail her back, saying, “if you tell, I will report you.”

    If she is after money, she has nothing to gain by carrying out her threats. If she is after vengeance then it’s different. If the situation is desperate, do what Cosby did. Tell her you’d pay her but you’re gonna have your lawyer write it up and your lawyer will have her arrested.

  22. Kms2014 says:

    Didn’t realise frozen sperm were considered an innocent third party 😉

    Sam, not sure about that one, but if she does it in an obvious way, and in writing, then you can tell her what she is doing is against the law. If she just eludes to blackmail but in a way that would be hard to prove, then you are in more of trouble…

  23. Sam says:

    I’d like to know more about the best way for a SD to handle a SB who’s trying to blackmail him.

    Sam.

  24. Carmen says:

    “So with this change of topic, can we go back now to what this blog is about? Information about sugar relationships”
    I like this idea :)

  25. Alexis says:

    “Then they wonder endlessly that men are only interested in one thing. If you only have one thing of value why do you think anyone will go after other things?”

    Because you’re a princess!

    But really, I think women have been fed for so long the idea that men are only interested in sex that this is pretty much all they think they need to provide.

    I find it strange then that few of them even desire to hone this skill. Oh well.

  26. Josh says:

    You’ve got to know when to hold ’em

    Know when to fold ’em

    Know when to walk away

    And know when to run

  27. Jacob says:

    Then don’t take it out on an innocent third party.

  28. Kms2014 says:

    “However, it is other bloggers’ responsibility to refrain from trying to have fun at his expense.”

    Yes,because you never do that, do you? 😉

  29. Josh says:

    I neither want to talk about my past relationships nor want to hear about my SBs past, present or future “relationships.” She can talk about sugar happenings anytime she wants, if she feels comfortable though. 😉

  30. Jacob says:

    I don’t remember anyone talking about frozen sperms, as they are the only old live sperms in this world. Sperms inside a male body are always new; they are destroyed , recycled and replaced by new ones every few weeks.

    BTW, when a certain age is reached, perhaps well beyond the 60’s, the desire for mind blowing sex may well replaced by the desire for companionship. Is that companionship worth several hundred dollars per hour? You never know until you try. The upside is that there is no vendor expiration date for that niche.

  31. Josh says:

    @Elaine

    As far as I can read, Jacob has not been actively posting about his uterus project lately. He has all the right to talk about his “fantasy” in passing. However, it is other bloggers’ responsibility to refrain from trying to have fun at his expense.

  32. RSD says:

    Josh, most people, unfortunately, are not fun companions. A woman can be hot but boring, and talking to women who date, most men don’t fare much better.

    The women who have kept my attention have been the ones who are either intellectually stimulating (educated, well-read, variety of life experiences) or who provide emotional comfort (loving, caring, cuddly). Rarely one can find both, and those are the ones who last.

    My wife used to be both but children ruined the first (statistics on how many poopy diapers they’ve produced simply doesn’t excite me), and marriage the second.

    My gem SB used to be both also, but over time the intellectual part faded and all she talked about was relationships, which became boring. How much do I want to rehash why it didn’t work out for her and some other jackass?

  33. Elaine says:

    @ Josh

    “Rhetorical question: If an SD spends several thousand dollars per month on an SB, which equates to several hundred dollars for a few hours he meets her per date, is it fair to expect that she provides an entertaining company (other than just sex)?”

    No Josh, she should not be just entertaining, she should be TOP ENTERTAINING company and provide MIND BLOWING SEX!!!

    She needs to be his utmost fantasy and be so fascinating he wants to keep spending on her over and over again….

    So with this change of topic, can we go back now to what this blog is about?
    Information about sugar relationships, instead of being back again at the discussion that is already plagueing here for months?

    Uterusses and old vs young sperm, babies and pregnancies, DNA defects and ideal “giving birth age”….

    My God, how many readers are interested in that boring topic?!

  34. Josh says:

    One likes to speak her mind. I am truly looking forward to that one. Yippee. 😉

  35. Josh says:

    How does trying new things makes someone a fun companion? First of all, you are tying the “new things” at my dime so that does not make you a fun companion per se.

    Then they wonder endlessly that men are only interested in one thing. If you only have one thing of value why do you think anyone will go after other things?

    I am trying my hardest to hear about at least one other thing about them to be interested in and drawing blanks from multiple POTs.

  36. Josh says:

    I ask SBs what makes them a fun companion (other than being a sex partner) so that an SD will keep coming back to them?

    Most of them respond, “I like trying new things.”

    What’s wrong with these women?

  37. Josh says:

    I am not sure about the mistress part. Does eating dinner and drinking the most expensive mixed drink (all of them go for the most exotic and expensive ass variety) at my dime makes her my mistress?

    Hey it’s your sandwich. Have it YOUR way.

  38. Kms2014 says:

    I’m not looking for that…am not like your 50 year old mistress 😉 I hire a maid service for the cleaning stuff…however, I prefer a nice foot long, or almost foot long more than a 6 inch sub.

  39. Josh says:

    @Kms2014

    Actually making sandwich is one of the last chores you need to do after cleaning animal poo, mopping the floor and spit cleaning the whole house. But don’t worry still, Prince Charming…

  40. Josh says:

    @Kms2014

    “I am confused now? I thought my place was in the kitchen making sandwiches…how did I get here?”

    Shear magic. Don’t your worry dear, Prince Charming is right around the corner. He just had a flat tire. That’s why he is late. 😉

  41. RSD says:

    @jacob, I don’t want more kids, or a divorce. I want peace and quiet in life and not more never-ending burdens to worry about. But yes, if my gem SB was pregnant I wouldn’t have been that upset; the baby would be fine. But with the particular SB who got pregnant, I’d pay not to have her as the mother of my child.

  42. Kms2014 says:

    I am confused now? I thought my place was in the kitchen making sandwiches…how did I get here?

  43. Jacob says:

    @RSD
    My state legal cap for child support is around $432,000 over 18years. The rest of the money in my estimate would be the over-payment in excess of the state cap that would apply to me so as to keep the woman on best behavior.

    Just out of curiousity, if you are willing to pay nearly $300k to have your own fetus aborted, why don’t you pay a little more and find a higher quality woman and actually have a baby? Is it because of existing marriage and potential cost of divorce? IIRC, you are not old yet.

  44. Alexis says:

    See KMS, I don’t dislike you. Your intentions are good and with some effort you *do* know how to keep your place.

  45. RSD says:

    @jacob, in my state child support is capped and any income beyond a certain amount does not count

  46. Kms2014 says:

    Yes, Jolexis, we know how much you love rhetorical 😉 I like your judgements. Would be silly to address your silliness 😉

  47. Jacob says:

    correction: that was $50k, not $50, obviously.

  48. Alexis says:

    Interesting that the only thing addressed were Barbies lol. All I can do is laugh in affirmation of my judgements.

    Why, why do so many women select to live in LaLa land? Is it an inability of being able to face reality? Is this based on some type of inherent weakness or something that is learned?

    The questions above are all rhetorical.

  49. Jacob says:

    @RSD
    $50 was only for the 9 months of carrying the baby to term, and letting me take over custody, so she wouldn’t be on long term child support. Although in reality I probably would have let her keep custody if she chose if she ever got pregnant with my baby, but I did not promise her that. 20yrs of child support at the numbers I’m estimating would be about $1,000,000.

  50. Josh says:

    @Carmen

    “I was under the impression that SD’s were gentlemen and SB’s were ladies, not pieces of meat (per Jacob’s very ungentlemanly reference). He doesn’t seem very gentlemanly at all.”

    Read that specific post of Jacob’s multiple times to get a better reading comprehension out of it. Take it easy. Breath in breath out. It’s all good dear. 😉

  51. RSD says:

    @Jacob $50k for buying your own baby is cheap

    When I was accused of impregnating my SB I calculated child support over 18 years would amount to $297,000 and I decided I would pay her that to abort the child if it was mine, even though the only realistic way it would be mine was if she sperm jacked. I’d try to bargain for a better price but I was prepared to pay up if needed.

    My vasectomy cost me $50; the insurance covered the rest :)

  52. Jacob says:

    You do not need a college degree to become a hair dresser. I have nothing against hair dresser. However, if someone wants to load up on a 4yr college debt for a liberal art degree before becoming a hair dresser, that’s just not smart.

  53. Kms2014 says:

    Barbies* babies are fun, too, though. Just other people’s babies…OPB

  54. Kms2014 says:

    Babies were fun…what can I say…when my second nieces were with me a couple of years ago, I enjoyed playing with them, then as well (: Why not?

    The rest of your babble is JoJolexis, so am just smiling at that 😉 however, there is an SB on here that is a hairdresser…and there are careers in art and hairdressing….you look down on hairdressers, and art? I bet you are fun to go to museums and talk to…What a snob…beachgirl is a hairdresser and see nothing wrong or shameful in being in that career!

  55. Jacob says:

    Please read my post again. I treat my SB’s as potential mothers of my future children.

  56. Carmen says:

    I was under the impression that SD’s were gentlemen and SB’s were ladies, not pieces of meat (per Jacob’s very ungentlemanly reference). He doesn’t seem very gentlemanly at all.

  57. Alexis says:

    “Alexis, I’m not emotional as you cannot be on this blog.”

    Oh, so you just like being dramatic? I see now, ok.

    “…when I was a teen the last thing I wanted was a 30 or 40 year old boyfriend…and even less a baby. All my friends and I were focused on school, what college we were getting into and guys our age or a few years older. That is the norm…”

    It may have been the norm where you grew up and when you grew up, but it certainly isn’t the norm for a lot of us.

    Concerning the statistics on young girls, it seems to sit 50/50 in terms of their interest in older men. It’s always on each opposite end of the spectrum though. Either they are disgusted and outraged (brainwashed) or are incredibly enthused (natural). Where did I get these statistics? I volunteer in an environment where I deal with at least a few hundred “underage” girls every month. This is the information I’ve gathered from the conversations I’ve had with them. Sadly, the ones that are very enthused are also very “ashamed” of being so since most are aware of the societal viewpoints involved with such scenarios.

    “…I still played with barbies until 15”

    lol are you serious? 15? Damn, that’s crazy!

    “What about your teen daughter’s, if any of you have any? How your tune would change if your little 14-18(heck, even 20 year old)year old brought home a 40 year old man.”

    Not that I have one obviously lol, but if he was a well-established man who intended and planned marriage with her, I would be EXTREMELY relieved and happy for her.

    ” These days, women go to college and make their career, first.”

    Dear gracious lol, what planet do you live on? Few women go to college where I am and when they do it’s usually something stupid like hairdressing or art. Most can’t even seem to finish those dumb programs and wind up on welfare or working some fast food/server job.

  58. Jacob says:

    Actually I have never made an explicit offer of 10X national average child support to any woman in person. I prefer to have the right woman willing to have a baby with me for the right reason. The most I ever explicitly promised was to my ex-SB/GF, after we were already dating for a few months. When she was a little concerned about herself not being on the pill (due to smoking), I assured her if she got pregnant with my baby I’d take custody of the baby myself and reward her $50k for carrying the baby to term. That was the only promise because I didn’t want her to abort without telling me in case she got pregnant. Then I took care not to knock her up for the rest of the time I was with her.

  59. Josh says:

    @Carmen

    “Anyways much more enjoyed the topic of orgasms. I may be one of the few lucky ones that has multiples… over and over. My sugar daddy loves that”

    And I am positive that you provide multiple orgasms to him absolutely free of cost, and he just pays to enjoy your lovely company. Got it. Thanks. 😉

  60. Josh says:

    @Kms2014

    “Josh, we do not know Carmen’s situation or what she is doing, on SA…give her a chance now”

    Basically women are master deflector of arguments, and SBs continue to prove my BS theories right. Carmen could continue her debate scientifically but chose to call him despicable and that he has to “pay for sex.”

    This “discussion” is now going to go into a direction where flyR is going to show up and ask Jacob to give Carmen a break. All because Carmen used her deflection technique to escalate the “discussion” in PC arena.

    If SDs have to “pay for sex”, which many of us try our darnedest not to, what does that make each and every SB? A whore. But SBs don’t see it that way. They find it perfectly alright to call one and all SDs as lurking johns, but they remain the “princess that I am.” 😉

  61. Carmen says:

    Josh by saying “have some class” I was referring to his way of responding, not his choice in participating in sugar relationships. As he has pHds in bringing up antiquated ideas while I have many years of study in this particular field. I choose google (not wiki) to find the easily accessible research articles and provide the research straight from the horses mouth so to speak so people can’t say I’m making it up… Even though they still try :(

    Anyways much more enjoyed the topic of orgasms. I may be one of the few lucky ones that has multiples… over and over. My sugar daddy loves that 😉

  62. Kms2014 says:

    Well, he is here, Josh, for reasons, in theory…not practice, yet. Carmen, just background info here…no one has taken him up on his offer yet, and last year his supposed SB decided to get pregnant by her boyfriend who was her age, instead…so, technically, he isn’t even paying for sex that we know of….

    Josh, we do not know Carmen’s situation or what she is doing, on SA…give her a chance now 😉

  63. Josh says:

    @Carmen,

    There was a time when dinosaurs roamed the earth and SBs controlled this blog through shear harassment techniques and PC nonsense. There were mangina SDs who joined the harassment at the most appropriate times.

    Those days are long gone. Please post with respect to SDs who pay SA so that Brandon can make millions, and you have the ability to find an SD, potentially make thousands per month doing whatever the heck you can pull of…all at no cost to you.

    Please! 😉

  64. Jacob says:

    @Carmen,

    You need to dig deeper than what the study says in the summary. Dig up the data on how it controls for spousal age. It’s preposterous to think it could normalize spousal age and other factors. There simply aren’t that many 25yo men married to 35yo women and 45yo men married to 35yo women, all with comparable other factors in their lives. We are not in a polygamist or polyandrist society.

  65. Josh says:

    @Carmen

    “And I can see why you have to pay for sex as your personality is despicable. Have some class.”

    What does that make you then my dear? You are taking money for something, from someone. That guy is here for reasons of his own as well.

    You choose to viciously and unnecessarily attack an SD for no reason other than the fact that the almighty Sir Jacob the Great has multiple Phds in this particular subject matter, and all you have is Wikipedia and Google. 😉

  66. Jacob says:

    @Carmen,

    LOL. Having sex without paying is as easy for me as a phone call away; heck I don’t even need to pick up the phone, all I need to do is say yes tomorrow. In any case, you tried to convince me that having baby is a bad idea at my age, now I suggest I’m open to be convinced of that idea and would pursue sex only for pleasure, you are calling me despicable? Why should I care about what you think given your inability to have any purpose or meaningful position? I was only attacking the shoddy pseudoscience presented in that article. Why did find the need to attack me personally?

  67. Kms2014 says:

    barren*

  68. Kms2014 says:

    See Josh…remember that song ‘It’s all about the Benjamin’s baby’….well, take away the Benjamin part…some people are obsessed with their own sperm and babies…yet, are Barron, even with the offers of ten times(or, was it more) the annual child support rate(that was for you, Carmen, so you know the background on proposed children by god-like, perfect spermination).

  69. Carmen says:

    Straight from the journal “after controlling for birth year, sex, age of the spouse, family history of psychiatric disorders, highest family education and residential county”.
    Also, the definite causes of most psychiatric disorders are unknown so it may well be genetic.

  70. Jacob says:

    No, I do not love women who can not understand the basic math difference between 1/120 (risk for 38yo mothers having Down’s baby) vs. 1/1400 (risk for 20-24yo mothers having Down’s baby), and have to keep relying on anecdotal counter examples.

  71. Carmen says:

    Jacob, it’s as easy as a quick google search.
    “I’m certainly open to be convinced scientifically that I should just use women as pieces of meat instead of potential mothers of my children…don’t bother trying to sperm jack me for it wouldn’t do you or your offspring any good, now bend over! ”
    And I can see why you have to pay for sex as your personality is despicable. Have some class.

  72. Kms2014 says:

    I think there is nothing wrong with couples having babies, over 35 or even 40…is their business. And, even if they did have a child with a genetic defect, then that is their business as well.

  73. RSD says:

    KMS, my wife conceived both times over the age of 35 so I have nothing against it. She had amnio both times. Both were normal.

    I am just stating medical recommendations to have amnio over the age of 35 despite the significant risk of miscarriage.

  74. Kms2014 says:

    “First of all that sounds silly. Second, do you think that Kms2014 is ever going to stop teasing you? ”

    If I could only be so lucky as to be ignored by him…as many previous requests to him in the past, though, he wouldn’t stop. He loves me that much 😉

  75. RSD says:

    It’s not possible to adjust for maternal age in a study like that. Did they compare the 15 year olds getting knocked up by 20 and 40 year olds? Or the 40 year olds getting knocked up by 20 and 40 year olds?

    The only way to study it is to look at men who have babies with teenagers from their teens to their 80s in polygamist societies and look at the rate of genetic disease.

    Also the BS they studied are not genetic diseases per se so DNA damage to the sperm can’t explain autism, bipolar, etc which are not traditional genetic disorders.

  76. Kms2014 says:

    RSD, why are you so against women over 35 having babies? Do you personally know all women, over 35 who have abortions before they get a ‘normal’ baby because it is so likely that their child has a defect? Are you all knowing, too? My friends who conceived, after 35 did not have abortions prior, due to babies with defects? They all had their babies without any hormonal help,except for one friend. Why all the negativity?

  77. Jacob says:

    @Carmen,

    No, they did not normalize for the mothers’ age. Show me the data where they normalized for the mother’s age. The grandchild argument is even more specious.

    I’m certainly open to be convinced scientifically that I should just use women as pieces of meat instead of potential mothers of my children. It would actually save me a lot of time and money in the long run by relieving me of any moral obligations; I’d just show the piece of study (if you can give it to me) to the women: here, don’t bother trying to sperm jack me for it wouldn’t do you or your offspring any good, now bend over! LOL.

  78. Josh says:

    @Jacob

    “You are hereby formally requested never to mention my username or any variation or inference thereof.”

    C’mon man. Take a chill pill.

    First of all that sounds silly. Second, do you think that Kms2014 is ever going to stop teasing you? 😉

  79. Jacob says:

    “or even 12-14(but that was just Jakeshine, I think)”

    No. You are projecting your own thoughts again, and engaging in slandering. Here are what I wrote on the subject:

    ===================================
    September 8, 2014 at 1:42 pm
    No, you should not try 12-14 if you are in the US.

    September 8, 2014 at 3:00 pm
    Not saying I’d want to get a 14yo pregnant even if it were legal, but that’s mostly because at 14 there is not enough telling how good a person/mother she will turn out to be, yet.
    ===================================

    Here are the repeated lies, slanders and deliberate defamation you have been engaging in the past few hours alone on this subject alone:

    ====================================
    September 8, 2014 at 3:21 pm
    You are so flip flop pity, jacobofyoursunshineonlyfor12-14yearolds.

    September 8, 2014 at 5:28 pm
    even sunshiny’s-hiney was advocating 12-14

    or even 12-14(but that was just Jakeshine, I think)
    ====================================

    You are hereby formally requested never to mention my username or any variation or inference thereof. You are simply incapable carrying on a conversation without committing slander and defamation.

  80. Carmen says:

    Kms2014 lol.

    I really think people should look at the research and data before spewing off outdated information and passing it off as truth. 😉

  81. Josh says:

    @RSD

    “women don’t mentally mature even by their 50s as per Josh’s experience with the 50+ year old SB looking for her Prince Charming.”

    Based on my experience, this ideas that girls mature before boys and women “blossom” in their thirties, or that a woman is maturer than a man of her age, are simply bullshit.

    As soon as the little princess realizes that she is not as strong to survive in the world all by herself, she starts playing “mind games” much earlier than little Johnny who is the same age as she is…and continues to play such games all life long. Playing eternal victim is a very strong thread among those games…

    If playing mind games = maturity, then… 😉

  82. RSD says:

    @kms your celebrity examples prove nothing because women over 35 get amnio (or now blood based DNA screening) and abort downs and other chromosomally abnormal fetuses

    You realize that the risk of amnio causing a miscarriage was 1 in 270 and the risk of downs at 35 was 1 in 270 so medical groups concluded it’s worth killing one normal baby to prevent one downs baby from being born. Now the risk of amnio causing miscarriage is closer to 1 in 400.

  83. Kms2014 says:

    Carmen, you are going to send sunshiney into a spontaneous sun combustion with your scientific data saying his sperm are less than god-like 😉

  84. Kms2014 says:

    “This whole argument about 40+ old SDs wishing to impregnate teenage girls is bizarre and concocted by none other than Kms2014 to have fun.”

    That isn’t true, Josh….some of you brought up lowering the age of consent and a woman’s most fertile years being 14-20 and how mankind was being picked on and put down, due to the evil laws that wouldn’t allow him to marry his 14 year old dream girl 😉 It was just a theory type argument that I commented on….now I made it up? Ermmm, okay…

  85. Carmen says:

    Jacob,

    Thanks for the advise to look at the data. I did just that. They did control for the age of the spouse. And I even read that an increased age of fathers leads to a statistically significant increase in risk that their GRANDCHILD will also develop psychiatric disorders. Wow. That was new. I can’t believe they didn’t include that tidbit in the news.

  86. Kms2014 says:

    Am not against men having much younger SBs…I just thought some were advocating age of consent to very young teens, or even 12-14(but that was just Jakeshine, I think)…sure, some are worldly, but many are not. Perhaps, because I used to teach that age group(14-19) and college age as well….so, you can understand where I am coming from….

    Josh’s only date with a 50+ was with that woman, for an experiment, I think, hehe. But yes, would agree that some 50 something’s are completely insane compared to a well grounded 20 year old. Depends on their life experience….and how they conducted themselves and with whom they kept company with. For example, my mother passed away after my parents had been married for almost 50 years. My father loved her very much and took it quite hard…he was very sad but after a few years was very lonely and wanted to date again. We encouraged him to do so. He did but mainly dated women in the late 50’s and 60’s because he flirts with young girls here and there, but wouldn’t really date one…anyways, he said he couldn’t date any divorced women because many of their husbands messed them up, or they were just crazy. It depends where you meet them, too, because he was on a dating website for older people, so you know what probably happens on there, hehe. One woman started to stalk him and left crazy messages. They never even met….the potential for a woman who is crazy, to become crazier in old age is quite possible 😉 However, the nice and normal ones probably stay that way.

  87. Josh says:

    None of the SDs are into knocking anyone up whether they are in 30s, 20s or teens. RSD even has his vasectomy done to avoid being a victim of sperm-jacking.

    The only person who is interested in uterus is Jacob, and even he is looking for 20-something SBs.

    This whole argument about 40+ old SDs wishing to impregnate teenage girls is bizarre and concocted by none other than Kms2014 to have fun.

    Now…weren’t we talking about reasons not to arrange with married SBs?

  88. Jacob says:

    “I just used celebrity examples because everyone knows them. Know many many people personally, who had a child at an older age. Stop being ageist, sunshineyhiney. Why argue about things that you cannot change? Women can and will have healthy babies in their 30′s and 40′s. And even if they have a special needs child, so what? Maybe, they will keep it and love it, anyway.”

    We already have the statistics: 1 in 250 for 35yo moms, then go up exponentially each year, for Down Syndrome alone. Every citation of celebrity with good screening just means more of those 1/250, 1/200, 1/100, 1/50, 1/25 are to be born by the plebians.

    Copying behavior of celebrity is about the dumbest way of living one’s life. Some of the celebrities also have $15,000 dinners. If you try that, your entire annual salary is spent in less than a week!

  89. Jacob says:

    Writer of that article doesn’t know what he is talking about. Sperm deriving from stem cells means it’s like additional copies made from the original document!

    In any case, even in the copy of copy scenario, the crucial factor is mutation rate. Like noted before, the factor doesn’t come into play for men until well into the 70’s . . . just like people don’t die of cancer in droves in their 40’s or 50’s. Replication error and cancer become significant only at much more advanced age, like 70’s, and cells for most organs are not derived directly from stem cells like sperms are.

  90. RSD says:

    @KMS, “Aren’t there also plenty of 14 and 15 year olds that go to Ivy League schools, travel the world and do gap year, become teachers, entrepreneurs before they settle down and become something great?”

    Why can’t I find an SB like that? :(.
    I mean when she turns 18 of course.
    Anyways youngest I’ve done is 20 and I don’t have too much interest in younger; women don’t mentally mature even by their 50s as per Josh’s experience with the 50+ year old SB looking for her Prince Charming.

  91. Kms2014 says:

    Oh yes, that is why Angelina Jolie had children with no defects, and Gwen Stefani, who has three beautiful and perfect boys(she didn’t even have her first child until she was in late 30’s and her third child, at 43. And had she listened to sunburstshine, then she would not have even tried. I just used celebrity examples because everyone knows them. Know many many people personally, who had a child at an older age. Stop being ageist, sunshineyhiney. Why argue about things that you cannot change? Women can and will have healthy babies in their 30’s and 40’s. And even if they have a special needs child, so what? Maybe, they will keep it and love it, anyway.

  92. Carmen says:

    Scientists have long known that women are born with all their eggs, which deteriorate with age leading to chromosomal abnormalities such as Down syndrome.

    But it was thought that men’s reproductive abilities escaped the ravages of age because sperm are constantly being renewed. Scientists now are beginning to understand that genetic glitches can be the result of that renewal process.

    “Sperm created later in life may be like a Xerox of a Xerox of a Xerox. Or multiple generations of an audiotape. The more copying you do, the more chance there is for error. Another factor may be the decline with age in the number of stem cells whose job it is to make sperm”
    Just in case you were wondering how on earth this could happen. I love science :)

  93. Jacob says:

    He wants to be quoted by a gate-keeping news organization, so he’d better toe the line . . . or the gate keeper would simply pick someone else to quote from. Look at the data.

    BTW, in a way he is correct that older men who can only afford to have babies with older women should probably avoid pregnancy, despite KMS’ advocacy for high risk jinx. Unless you are dirt poor and rely on taxpayers to bail out your family, in which case it doesn’t matter, having a congenitally defective child can be very impoverishing to the family and can literally ruin careers for a middle class family.

  94. flyR says:

    “”the way I interpreted it, as low as 12-14…and they should be able to breed and marry 40 something’s at 15? That ain’t right…ain’t right…lol””””

    That wasn’t much of a problem in the days when there was a shotgun owning real father in the house . Today if there is a father in the house in other than flyoverland he’s probably a metrosexual who doesn’t want to interfere or god forbid put any fear into the heart of a predator. My country neighbor’s have no problem delivering an unmistakable message to the predators. Also living outside a major metro area the kids have real teen years , not little adults in training .

  95. Kms2014 says:

    Decision makers*

  96. Kms2014 says:

    Aren’t there also plenty of 14 and 15 year olds that go to Ivy League schools, travel the world and do gap year, become teachers, entrepreneurs before they settle down and become something great? Why focus on a select few? Would you really want an SB that was 15 and on her 3rd child, anyway? Where are you going with this? That some 14 and 15 year olds are poor des ion makers and not fully developed in maturity, yet? Yes, I know…and that is my argument also. So, aren’t there plenty of 17 and 18 year olds that you can bang? Must you also have the 14 and 15 year olds to choose from? Not sure what you want me to agree with you on…If you want to have arrangements with teens of age, then that is none of my concern.

  97. Carmen says:

    Those were quotes from Dr. Harry Fisch, a urologist at New York-Presbyterian/Weill Cornell Medical Center. I may be wrong but I have a feeling he couldn’t care less about feminist issues. He is more concerned with men’s health issues.

  98. Jacob says:

    The fundamental difference is that: while a woman’s eggs are as old as she is (because all of a woman’s eggs are already created when she is born), the man’s sperms are almost always no more than a few weeks old! Now you see why 15-20 is prime reproductive age for human female.

  99. Kms2014 says:

    See….

  100. RSD says:

    But KMS, some 14 year olds are getting legally knocked up by their 15 year old BFs who are headed from high school drop out to incarceration. Trust me, getting knocked up by a 40 year old wealthy man would be the best thing to happen to such girls. I am not talking about myself getting anyone pregnant; I’m snipped so unless I am drugged and an epidydymal aspirate is taken from me, no one is getting preggy from me.

    And no, not all 15 year olds are innocent and playing with barbies. Some are on their third pregnancies. It’s reality. Laws have to reflect reality, not a soecietal fantasy that teenage girls are innocent asexual victims.

  101. Kms2014 says:

    Oh god, Carmen..you just set jakeyshine into a sunburst of epic proportions…just wait for his rebuttal that his superior sperm are invincible to such mortal DNA chromosomal abnormalities…for he is, the Sun God 😉

  102. Jacob says:

    Those verbal descriptions on the study have about as much validity as any other politically-correct rants. They do not stand up to simple data analysis. Yes, there is a surplus of older unmarriageable women in this country now who are good at nothing except for hissy fits and picking fights, thanks to a decades of 2nd-wave and 3rd-wave feminism brain washing. Men their own age are by and large not interested in them, but only interested in much younger women! So the politically correct brain washing has to be turned up by sever more notches.

  103. Carmen says:

    Both men’s and women’s DNA are subject to chromosomal abnormalities that increase with age. The older men get the more likely their sperm have mutations. They also said “It’s incredible that people think that testicles don’t age.”… Just saying…

  104. Carmen says:

    “”We’ve known for a generation that paternal age has an effect on babies. But it’s only been in recent years that researchers have started to look for a paternal age effect on some serious psychiatric disorders, such as schizophrenia.With all the focus on women’s age related decline in fertility the public isn’t used to thinking about issues in men.
    “What used to be thought of as a women’s problem we now know is also a men’s problem,” Fisch said. “It’s a parental age effect.”

  105. Kms2014 says:

    To be honest, I really don’t care how many 17 or 18 year olds y’all sleep with and am not ranting about anything…Why would I care when a few of my SDs have been two or three years younger(and one was 28 when I was 36). Younger is fine….I was responding to men talking about a woman’s consent should be lowered…the way I interpreted it, as low as 12-14…and they should be able to breed and marry 40 something’s at 15? That ain’t right…ain’t right…lol

  106. Jacob says:

    Similar studies after normalize for mothers’ age yielded result showing no difference due to fathers’ age until the fathers are in their 70’s.

  107. Kms2014 says:

    You should become a SD lobbyist for lowering the age of SBs, RSD! What a great idear! ((: you should start and leave for Washington soon…I nominate you, for this position as jakeyshine is not a good rep, due to obvious reasons….perhaps, you can even get the age of consent eliminated….PIS and NAMBLA would have been proud 😉

  108. RSD says:

    @KMS, “If it were so common, then 18 year olds would be marrying 40 something’s all the time…but is very rare. Unless, the guy is loaded”

    You answered your own question. All us SDs here are loaded, so we have a distorted view of the world. The girls I sleep with now wouldn’t have looked at me when I was 20 but can’t keep their legs together now that I’m twice their age. It’s not because I have become taller, better looking, or more muscular. It’s because I’m successful and wealthy and girls look up to me. What goes through a girl’s head is irrelevant; all I care about is her behavior. If she sleeps with me, it’s because she’s willing to do so; there is no compulsion. You can rant and rave about how an 18 year old doesn’t want to sleep with a 40 year old, but it’s hard to give you much credence when I’ve slept with two drop-dead gorgeous girls aged 20 and 21 in the past month.

  109. Jacob says:

    @Carmen

    We covered that topic several weeks ago. The study did not compensate for mother’s age. The 45yo dads in the study typically had wives at 40+, whereas the 25yo dads in the study typically had wives at 20+, so the result is merely comparing 40+ moms vs. 20+ moms; the former group would of course have more problem children, which is fully expected by all except for perhaps KMS.

  110. Carmen says:

    Also according to recent studies (found this one on NBC) “Compared to dads in their early 20s, for example, a man who became a father at 45 would run a 13-fold increased risk of having a child with ADHD, a 25-fold increased risk of a child with bipolar disorder, and a 3.5-fold increased risk of having a child with an autism spectrum disorder.” That’s just a little of the long list. Clearly old me should think twice about wanting to have kids.

  111. Jacob says:

    @RSD
    How many shovels did you give KMS?

  112. Jacob says:

    “Really? And you know my financial situation,”

    Yes, by your inability to come up with $200 for a cause that you believed in that would have been immediately matched 2-to-1. Even NPR fund raisers usually only involve 1-to-1 match as incentive for listeners to donate.

    “my career(I have a pretty decent career, by the way that pays well)”

    by the fact that you are not an SM, especially given that you like younger men. If you think a wage level that doesn’t enable an SD/SM budget is considered “pays well,” then well your surroundings and those you are accustomed to compete against are not well paid either.

    “…oh, I forgot! You know my ex husband’s financials as well?”

    Enough to notice that he did not make enough to enable a sufficiently large divorce-rape. Look, you have a job that “pays well” and a child-support + alimony (if any) from him, yet you can not afford to be an SM. Male SB’s looking for female SM’s are likely fairly inexpensive.

    ” And, you know the child services office and how to report me to them…oh, the all knowing one speaks again. He is so wise and knows all ;)”

    Interesting spin/swing/hyper-sensitivity on my suggestion that a parent ought to think about whether one’s own behavior would hold up to DSS scrutiny. Speaks volumes about your own insecurities on the issue. I have no interest in reporting you, so relax. Yes, I am wise. While I’m not omniscient, I’m good at deducing and weighing odds and likelihood.

  113. Carmen says:

    According to WebMD “Most women hit their fertile peak between the ages of 23 and 31, though the rate at which women conceive begins to dip slightly in their late 20s. ” Not sure where all this 15-20 yr old talk came from.

  114. Josh says:

    “Life isn’t always about breeding, sheesh.”

    Absolutely. Manis and pedis are far more important than exceeding the 2.1 birth rate to even maintain the population in the western world. 😉

  115. Kms2014 says:

    Of course, Jolexis…you and Alexis read everything together, understanding the same exact things with clarity..like you are one 😉

  116. RSD says:

    @KMS, “Let us see, if you want that, and the girl comes of age, and she is interested in you, in whatever state it is, then go for it.”

    That is exactly what us SDs do. We wait on SA, as soon as a girl hits 18 and joins SA, we go for her. I can tell you there is no shortage of 18 year olds willing to sleep with a wealthy 40 year old. The poor girls have to wait till they’re 18 and lose out on several potentially lucrative years of sugar. Isn’t there something wrong when the average age a girl becomes a prostitute in the US is 14, whereas she has to wait till 18 to become a sugar baby?!

    Your turkey baster story made no sense. If the guy is so hot, why wouldn’t she just sleep with him and enjoy getting filled up? And if your question is rhetorical, then yes, that happens all the time when the woman bears a child who is not the alleged father’s. I suppose you believe it’s her right to bear whomever’s baby she wants; so why would it not be my right to leave a condom filled with another man’s semen in the trash? There is nothing illegal about it whatsoever.

    @Josh, I’m sure some young loser guy (read: an SB’s IRL BF) would sell me a condom full of his fresh semen for $50. The sperm is viable for more than 48 hours.

  117. Josh says:

    @Kms2014

    As Alexis noted earlier, the context was very clear. You decided to expand the scope. 😉

    There’s no way in hell the western society is going to allow that young girls to have babies. They need to study art history or some shit like that for the next 10 more years, and import able-bodied men from cultures that don’t believe in western civil liberties.

  118. Kms2014 says:

    I definitely think 12-15… Even 16 is too young. I say this because I still played with barbies until 15… What about your teen daughter’s, if any of you have any? How your tune would change if your little 14-18(heck, even 20 year old)year old brought home a 40 year old man. Something to think about. But that scenario is very rare and not common, so why even argue about it. If it were so common, then 18 year olds would be marrying 40 something’s all the time…but is very rare. Unless, the guy is loaded. Is far more common, but still less so for a 20 something to marry a 40 something. These days, women go to college and make their career, first. And some women do not even want children-ever. That is a choice that a couple of my female friends made. Life isn’t always about breeding, sheesh.

  119. Kms2014 says:

    😉 You are welcome…the turkey baster was left out of the equation, so felt it should be included, since the question was so redonkulous, hehe.

    But I will address this…”You make no sense at all; are you for lowering the age of consent or against it? All your examples are of girls forced into prostitution, not about a 17 year old who wants to sleep with her cute 25 year old bf. If it’s her choice, as you say, then she can choose if she wants to bear a 40 year old’s child, not you, not some politician. That is the entire issue with age of consent. No one is saying that she should be forced to bear anyone’s child, but if a 17 year old chooses to sleep with someone who is 25 or 40 or 90, why is that anyone’s business other than hers and her parents’?”

    Okay, so like I said earlier, if it is legal, and she wants you, then whatever…isn’t 17 legal in some states? I believe so…anyway, I never said. I disagree that the average 17 year old’s goal in life is to have some 40 year old’s child, though. That is an exception or delusion. I was not against a 17 year old choosing, her sex partner, even though I think I was pretty immature and naive at that age…and a virgin…but correct me if I am wrong, but weren’t you guys talking about banging girls 14 and 15…even sunshiny’s-hiney was advocating 12-14…yes, I am against that, yes.

  120. Josh says:

    Ladies and gentlemen, Kms2014 has reformulated RSD’s question and swung across the room with a version that makes absolutely no sense. Well done Kms2014!

  121. Kms2014 says:

    “RSD says:
    September 8, 2014 at 4:29 pm
    @KMS, would you find it unethical to leave a condom filled with another guy’s semen in the trash?”

    I will go one further, RSD…what would you thunk it, if someone used another’s man’s semen in their turkey baster, instead of yours(the young hot, good looking guy’s semen), then pretended she was pregnant with your turkey basted semen?

  122. Kms2014 says:

    “Jacob says:
    September 8, 2014 at 3:26 pm
    You were/are irresponsible because of you and your choice of mate Just look at your reckless abandon at making random slanders. You are a Exhibit A on why it is a bad idea for young woman to get pregnant by men who are not established yet. The long term stress from having a child without adequate support from the child’s father lead to all sorts of potential psychotic problems.”

    Really? And you know my financial situation, my career(I have a pretty decent career, by the way that pays well)…oh, I forgot! You know my ex husband’s financials as well? And, you know the child services office and how to report me to them…oh, the all knowing one speaks again. He is so wise and knows all 😉

    Alexis, I’m not emotional as you cannot be on this blog. If I were, wouldn’t know whether to laugh or cry, since most of these posts today were quite comical. Men in their 40’s seem to think teen girls are just ‘dying’ to have their babies, but the mean ol’ law will not let them ): big frownie face 😉 Let us see, if you want that, and the girl comes of age, and she is interested in you, in whatever state it is, then go for it. Other than that…it is a gamble that most men are not comfortable with :-/ I don’t know what I think, since when I was a teen the last thing I wanted was a 30 or 40 year old boyfriend…and even less a baby. All my friends and I were focused on school, what college we were getting into and guys our age or a few years older. That is the norm…

  123. Josh says:

    @RSD

    You may have to rpeat the prank multiple times before the odds of sperm-jacking get into possibility.

    Where do you plan to harvest a condom full of semen from?

    Also, couldn’t you get slammed with some kind of women-serving decision to support the child or be put in jail because of your prank?

  124. RSD says:

    @KMS, would you find it unethical to leave a condom filled with another guy’s semen in the trash?

  125. RSD says:

    Best news is that I just got my final post-vasectomy semen analysis and it’s completely sperm-free! So I don’t have to worry about getting anyone pregnant, 14 or 40.

    I can’t wait till the next bimbo tries to tell me I got her knocked up!

    Maybe I should start leaving condoms filled with another guy’s semen in the trash and see the sperm-jacker’s face when the baby comes out a totally different race than me! She’d have fun trying to get child support then.

  126. Josh says:

    Dumb da dumb da dumb. 😉

  127. RSD says:

    @flyR, “I’m not sure I buy into the 1/3 1/3 1/3 division of women’s orgasmic potential.”

    Care to share your stats?

    And also care to share your views on how skilled women are in bed?

  128. RSD says:

    @KMS, “Really, why would some 14 year old girl want to have some 40 something’s babies? … That is her choice.”

    You make no sense at all; are you for lowering the age of consent or against it? All your examples are of girls forced into prostitution, not about a 17 year old who wants to sleep with her cute 25 year old bf. If it’s her choice, as you say, then she can choose if she wants to bear a 40 year old’s child, not you, not some politician. That is the entire issue with age of consent. No one is saying that she should be forced to bear anyone’s child, but if a 17 year old chooses to sleep with someone who is 25 or 40 or 90, why is that anyone’s business other than hers and her parents’?

    @flyR, I agree with you that rape should be persecuted, but the issue is not whether some coach who raped little boys should be punished, but whether a 16 or 17 year old who has already slept with 10 or 20 guys and is on her third pregnancy can sleep with a 25 year old or 40 or 90 year old.

  129. Josh says:

    @Jacob

    You should know of all people that Kms2014 and you are at the opposite ends of gap analysis. That is, it may bother you to have gaps in your analysis, but she has loads of fun introducing gaps in any analysis.

    The level of your irritation is directly related to her fun. Don’t say that I did not warn you, again. 😉

  130. Alexis says:

    Poor KMS

    I feel that her intentions are good even though it ends up coming out all twisted up because of emotions.

    Still, as I said… good intentions. But yah yah – road to hell thing.

  131. Jacob says:

    You were/are irresponsible because of you and your choice of mate 😉 Just look at your reckless abandon at making random slanders. You are a Exhibit A on why it is a bad idea for young woman to get pregnant by men who are not established yet. The long term stress from having a child without adequate support from the child’s father lead to all sorts of potential psychotic problems.

  132. Kms2014 says:

    Yet still, even with your argument you twisted my words around with to make your point, which will never be true, she still chose her younger hot boyfriend to procreate with(which, is the truth)…hmm, perhaps you are not the best choice for advocacy of this 😉 Funny, when I mentioned I married young and had a child you accused me of being irresponsible by getting knocked up. You are so flip flop pity, jacobofyoursunshineonlyfor12-14yearolds.

  133. Jacob says:

    “And 14-17 love having babies? Yes, some do”

    Make that most do. In fact overwhelming majority, before the “have time to live her life” brainwashing is applied to put her biological urge under control.

    “but not with old men…they have them with hot young guys their own age”

    LOL. At 14-17, boys are way behind girls in development and sexual maturity.

  134. Kms2014 says:

    Oh, But forgot some already knew that by personal experience

  135. Jacob says:

    There is a huge difference between euthanasia of kids already born vs. avoiding high risk pregnancy (where not even the egg is fertilized). In fact, avoiding right risk pregnancy helps reducing the need for abortion (much less enthanasia after birth).

  136. Kms2014 says:

    Oh god, Jacob…when you decide not to be so boring and join us in the real world, then I might debate with you. Would think your proposing to have babies with underage girls might peak family and children services, though. And 14-17 love having babies? Yes, some do but not with old men…they have them with hot young guys their own age 😉

  137. flyR says:

    I’m not sure I buy into the 1/3 1/3 1/3 division of women’s orgasmic potential. There’s a lot in how they view the relationship, not to mention if the guy comes to bed dressed in his full wetsuit complete with surgical gloves and leaps up to wash up the moment he is done.

    I think the issue of women trying to find their place in the workplace is a tough one. It’s also driven by our increased expectations and the added drag on the economy of so many wealth transferring and destroying systems. It’s heightened by the very high rates of single mothers and of young divorces of parents with children.

    The good news is that the internet has made location much less of a determinant of economic success. It’s also made race less of an issue.

  138. Jacob says:

    “I only bring it up because you seem to be obsessed with it. ”

    No, I’m not obsessed with it; as fellow parents, I’m sure you are aware the need to behave in such a way as to pass the muster of DSS if they ever get interested. No I have never had first hand experience with DSS. You seem to be obsessed with Hitler and David Koresh; what’s up with that?

    “Really, why would some 14 year old girl want to have some 40 something’s babies? She hasn’t even had time to live her life yet. Y’all are sick, if you think the age of consent should be 14. That is what I am against.”

    You may be forgetting, girls at 14-17 absolutely love having babies. The “have time to live her life” part came later by brain washing. Not saying I’d want to get a 14yo pregnant even if it were legal, but that’s mostly because at 14 there is not enough telling how good a person/mother she will turn out to be, yet.

  139. Kms2014 says:

    ‘Smart’ enough.

  140. Kms2014 says:

    I know, Josh…I also have a brother in law(sister in law’s brother) who has a genetic ‘defect’. He doesn’t have downs, and he isn’t in too bad shape(no drooling, wheelchair, ect.)…It’s just he will never go past the 6th grade level. He is so sweet, though. I think, the hardest for them is when they are sort enough to know they they are not ‘normal’. However, still think they deserve to live. Many work and lead productive lives…my local Publix employs many with more minor disorders. It just makes me sad to read the blog sometimes. It is because it is a bit personal, and take things seriously, when it comes to human rights. Will joke about most other things, though.

  141. flyR says:

    I’m with KMS on letting kids grow into young adults with a minimum of evil influences. On the way back from lunch I was listening to a story on Penn State getting relief from their penalties because they are doing better. But for perhaps a decade they knew that Sandusky was raping very young boys in their facilities. The neighbors, some of the parents and many of the friends knew Michael Jackson was raping young boys. Some parents took big bucks in exchange for keeping quiet which in turn lead to other molestations. LAUSD is probably facing $200 million of claims that they knowingly allowed young children to be molested, the transferred the molesting teachers to Hispanic schools with the hope that the parents ( many illegal) would not cause trouble. When they did the district sent negotiators to try to tamp down the problem.

    Part of the problem is that our society has shifted from one of strong personal accountability to one of there is no black only shades, so long as it is not politically correct.

  142. Josh says:

    C’mon Kms2014. Give the almighty uterus man a break. Not that DSS stuff again. Please.

  143. Josh says:

    @Kms2014

    Please ready what RSD has written. This guy is not looking for what Jacob or gentle are looking for and based on his recent posts is not out to get the cheapest ass he can find at SA.

    Different men will have different percentages of their experience (horried to awesome) based on how they are picking their women.

    Again, men have such a low expectation of sex from women, they should be thankful that men spend their hard-earned money on them–whether through marriage and other arrangements.

  144. Kms2014 says:

    Well, I would not abort a child just because it had a defect. But, that is my personal choice. I think that is wrong…perhaps, that is because while I was interning, I taught a class of teens with ‘defects’ such as downs and others. They are human, and are the sweetest people…am biased about this, sorry.

  145. Kms2014 says:

    ““Also, for someone who is always threatening with the family and children services…”

    Are you saying whatever you are doing wouldn’t pass the muster with DSS? Why else do you feel threatened at the any mention of DSS?”

    I only bring it up because you seem to be obsessed with it. Perhaps, you have dealt with them before when they got wind from your other children of your proposed compound, much like a wannabe David Koresh…oh yes, Koresh loved having sex with girls under the age of 15…at 11, they were given the star of light, signifying they were ready to have sex with the cult leaders.

    Am not a feminist, by the way. I believe that women have it pretty good, in this country. I am for human rights, and abhor violations to humans, whether male or female(or, genetically defected in any way)in that they are treated poorly, and their choice is taken away. So many woman/men, in US and abroad, are having sex, against their will, or forced into that life just to survive. Many men from US and UK go to such countries to partake in these young boys and girls. They do not care that it is against the law or
    wrong, morally. So, am sensitive about the subject, perhaps. Really, why would some 14 year old girl want to have some 40 something’s babies? She hasn’t even had time to live her life yet. Y’all are sick, if you think the age of consent should be 14. That is what I am against. Not SA or some silly man who
    wants a woman, in US, who is of age, and is with him for his money. That is her choice.

  146. Jacob says:

    “Like I said, many women I know prolonged having kids…even a former SD of mine and his ex wife waited until she was 30 then had two perfectly normal sons. The boys are what ended their marriage, though, as they had two differing theories on how to raise them. It is ridiculous that you age shame women in their late 20′s and 30′s from having children because YOU think they are too old and YOU are so obsessed with having a child with a birth defect. Get over yourself.”

    When did I age-shame women in their late 20’s and early 30’s from having children? My own child was born when my (now ex-)wife was in her early 30’s, although we started trying in her mid to late 20’s. Female fertility decline rapidly when a woman is past her late 20’s, as does the rest of her reproductive system. A big part of the reason why we divorced was because she could not have have any more babies. Having a child with major birth defect is hard ship on the family, on the child him/herself, and on the rest of the society. Why not try to avoid the problem before it becomes a problem? Do you play with fire at home just because most of the time it doesn’t burn down your house?

  147. Josh says:

    @Kms2014

    Jacob is making entirely different argument from gentle’s. They have entirely different approach to sugar.

    Gentle is all about plenty of wet vaginas and Jacob is interested in uterus. He can even forego touching a vagina, breasts and the rest of the body, if the uterus deal is inked to the carrier of his liking. 😉

  148. RSD says:

    @KMS

    Yes, I would abort a child with a birth defect. Why do you think triple screens and fetal ultrasounds are done? So that any sensible person would have an abortion. My wife had amnio and if there were any defects, an abortion was certain.

    As for the risk of Down’s, it hits 1 in 270 at maternal age 35 and rises exponentially thereafter. Yes, a 15 year old can give birth to a Down’s child and a 50 year old can give birth to a healthy child, but the risk of rare birth defects goes up exponentially, so it’s genetically much smarter to get a 15 year old pregnant than a 50 year old, even though our current laws may say otherwise.

    As for good vs bad sex, Josh is correct. In my experience, a third of women are incapable of orgasm, a third will have one orgasm if they’re properly stimulated, and a third will have multiple orgasms. No one will take an anorgasmic woman and give her five orgasms. From my perspective, a lot of women just lay there; many thrash their bodies about like crazy, making it nearly impossible for me to orgasm (yes, I’ve faked it with some SBs just to be done with the horrid sex); and some are amazing. I know I’m capable of amazing sex because I’ve had it. But there has to be significant mental and physical attraction and a bit of genuine feelings on top of good mechanics. And in most sugar relationships that combination will not exist. That having been said, sugar sex can be adequate or satisfying.

  149. Kms2014 says:

    You never answered my question…how do you feel about children with genetic defects? Do you find them less than worthy? Would you keep your child, Jacob, if he/she had a genetic defect? Even you must know that statistically, the risk is not at zero, no matter what age.

  150. Jacob says:

    “Are you saying that no women in their 20′s are capable of birth defects…and the average women in their 30′s have many birth defects? ”

    Strawman tactic. If 1 in 10 births result in Down’s Syndrome, the society will cease to function. Life is about odds. If you are good with odds, you can anticipate outcomes before they take place and make proper preparations, then your life will be successful one. If one lives by wishful thinking and strawman, well, chances are that he/she is not going to have a happy or rewarding life.

    “Would you abort your child or put it up for adoption, if it was born with some sort of defect? Just curious….Hitler hated those with mental illness and children with defects too, so much so that he made them his euthanasia project before he perfected for the Jews. Why are you so obese seed with children having defects? Are they not worthy of love and being born? My friend who had her son, with defects, in her 20′s kept him. Her and her husband love him like their other son, who was born with no defects. They did not get rid of him just because he wasn’t born perfect.”

    Hitler was a vegetarian, so shall we kill all vegetarians?
    Your friend and her husband are probably living off taxpayers. They had bad luck. It only makes sense to make choices that minimize tragedies and impossible choices

    “Also, for someone who is always threatening with the family and children services…”

    Are you saying whatever you are doing wouldn’t pass the muster with DSS? Why else do you feel threatened at the any mention of DSS?

    “one must wonder what they would think about a man who thinks it should be legal to have sex with and marry young teen girls…or, are you advocating 12-14 as well?”

    No. Like I said, the age of consent is different in different jurisdictions. That reality makes no scientific sense (it’s not like Japanese girls are maturing much earlier than American girls), but is purely due to politics.

  151. Kms2014 says:

    Like I said, many women I know prolonged having kids…even a former SD of mine and his ex wife waited until she was 30 then had two perfectly normal sons. The boys are what ended their marriage, though, as they had two differing theories on how to raise them. It is ridiculous that you age shame women in their late 20’s and 30’s from having children because YOU think they are too old and YOU are so obsessed with having a child with a birth defect. Get over yourself.

  152. gentle(man)soul says:

    @KMS

    “lowering the marriage age? ” Good lawd chile No ! ! We want to lower the legal age of consent

    @ josh

    no cunnilingus ? I couldn’t live without it . More orgasms are stimulated around that precious little area. You got to have those lips ,tongue ,teeth, fingers ,and sometimes toes working it before sending in the Big Dog .

    @Kms2014

    “Two women does not make a good sample size”

    Only at one time

  153. Jacob says:

    The logic of having a career established before having baby makes a lot of sense for men . . . but it makes almost zero sense for women. High hormones in late pregnancy, and the extra work load in the kid’s first few years thoroughly disrupt work and career. The feminist push for paid maternity leaves and making it longer and longer is essentially making the same point: it is unrealistic to expect women to continue their career uninterrupted when having babies. With knowledge obsolescence taking place so rapidly nowadays, combined with the already existing phenomenon of women re-launching their careers after kids go to school, it only makes sense for women to have babies first, then focus on her career after the biological work is done, so there will be less disruption to both priorities. Of course, that means the woman would have to either have parents floating her in the baby making phase or a partner who can support the family. That was the expectation before the 2nd and 3rd wave feminism ruined the family and marriage, along with ruining women’s happiness.

  154. Kms2014 says:

    Are you saying that no women in their 20’s are capable of birth defects…and the average women in their 30’s have many birth defects? Would you abort your child or put it up for adoption, if it was born with some sort of defect? Just curious….Hitler hated those with mental illness and children with defects too, so much so that he made them his euthanasia project before he perfected for the Jews. Why are you so obese seed with children having defects? Are they not worthy of love and being born? My friend who had her son, with defects, in her 20’s kept him. Her and her husband love him like their other son, who was born with no defects. They did not get rid of him just because he wasn’t born perfect.

    Also, for someone who is always threatening with the family and children services…one must wonder what they would think about a man who thinks it should be legal to have sex with and marry young teen girls…or, are you advocating 12-14 as well?

  155. Josh says:

    @Kms2014, the sex with SBs is a mix bag the same as sex outside sugar.

    When I mentioned having great sex…that is over a long period of active sexual life, including limited time in sugar. The quality of sex has be adequate on SA. That’s why I am focusing on potentially fun women to arrangement with, to mitigate the risk of bad sex.

    For the most part discussing cause and effect with women is a huge challenge.

    Most men are NOT here just because they want young ass.

    Most men are here because they are not getting “fun” (that includes sex) with their significant other.

    When they are in sugar, they are trying to optimize the investment of their time and money.

  156. Kms2014 says:

    Jacob, I am not trying to hold younger women back, only saying that I was not mentally ready for marriage or children, at 16-18…and you think it is laughable that many women are prolonging having children, as well as men, in order to start their careers? If you think that is not true, then whatever. Your average 20 year female old doesn’t want to marry or have sex with your average 40 year old. When I was that age, those men were pretty old and gross to me. If you want to delude yourself into thinking they want to have your children, then be ready to pay a lot…oh yeah, you are offering to do that, but still no candidates…so sorry for that 😉

  157. Jacob says:

    First of all, I’m not advocating anyone violate laws regarding the age of consent. Heck, if the law says the age of consent is 40, you’d better make sure not to have sex with a 38yo. That being said, the prime age of human female reproductivity is of course around 15-20. For most of human existence, the average life-span was only 30-40, so the female had to evolve to be capable of producing healthy babies by the time she is 15-20 in order to have any chance of raising the female child to maturity; let’s not forget she had to produce at least two babies to maintain population stability, two children surviving to reproductive age, which meant 3-5 children to be born eons ago. Since each child had to be incubated for 9 months, and the reproductive system needs a at least a few months to heal after giving birth, a spacing of 12 to 18 months was necessary . . . that meant most human female had to be mature enough to reproduce by the time she was 15 or so in an environment where most people died by the age of 30-40. Most countries in the world even today have age of consent much lower than 18. Many states in the US stipulate 16 (18 is federal). Japan has 12. Most biblical scholars agree that Mary was 12-14 when the Nativity Scene took place. No, you should not try 12-14 if you are in the US.

    As to why the law in the US at federal level is so wacked, you only need to read some of the posts on this blog to realize the zeal and irrational extreme some older women are willing to go in order to avoid competition: “so what if there is genetic defect” (when mother is too old), “I have seen 25-26 yo mothers giving birth to defects” etc. etc.. Almost laughable. Either the person is arguing 25-26 is already too old or the person doesn’t understand statistics. Exceptions do not make expectation values.

    As for who should be giving consent if young women in a society routinely mate and reproduce before 20. That is actually a good question. Historically most societies consigned that decision to the parents. Me thinks if the girl is less than 18, any one of the 3 (parents and the girl) should have the veto right (due to high probability of the parents being on the hook for any children born to such young mother), while nobody should be forced into an arranged marriage. That also prevents the lunacy of “teenagers typically want to sleep with other teenagers.” IMHO, any teenager getting another teenager pregnant and unable to support the child and mother should be shot or castrated so he doesn’t get a chance to make the same mistake again and ruin someone else’ life when he is in his 20’s as some hapless girl’s pet project.

  158. Kms2014 says:

    That is true, southern! I just meant that some countries do not offer many alternatives or have as much human rights, especially for women, like we have here.

    @Josh, if many men are complaining of bad sex on blog, and you yourself just admitted that you have had great sex with women that are ‘into’ it, then what do you think that means? Would you say the average women in an arrangement is not into sex with her SD? Hmm, I would think that is probably a commonality. Is he why I think, in my opinion, arrangements should not be with men unless you find them attractive and want to have sex with them…if you are only doing it for the money, the oftentimes it shows, especially with women who are not ‘professionals’ at pretending. But, just my humble female perspective 😉

  159. SouthernSB says:

    @KMS-ITA,but I’d rather they send the money to some of the few agencies that combat human trafficking right here in the United States. This country is sorely lacking resources for the many girls who are trafficked here.

  160. Josh says:

    @SouthernSB

    Sweetheart, I have had out of this world sex many times because the women themselves were into it and NOT because I did anything special to make it so.

    But on average women are neither into sex nor would they know how to have decent sex let alone explosive one.

    And my assertions are corroborated by many active SDs right here and the other men I know outside of SA.

    Discussing women’s lack of provess in the area let alone the shear lack of interest is a non-PC topic.

    So most men would just not talk about it and get whatever they get.

  161. Josh says:

    Kms2014, the cute word swinger, believes that Josh = Alexis; as if such point of view can only be concocted by a man.

    I am curious how many regulars believe that Josh = Alexis?

  162. SouthernSB says:

    @Josh-Just who have you been having sex with? No wonder you are bitter if you have never had proper, mind blowing sex!! Come on, you can’t believe all women are bad at sex, can you?

  163. Kms2014 says:

    Yes, Joshexis, we know you do not partake of the lickity clit-kity, unless the woman has been through thorough testing, is a non-SB candidate because regular women who do not sugar date are never promiscuous, and she then has been drenched in hand sanitizer, first 😉

  164. Kms2014 says:

    I guess everyone I know, my friends and acquaintances, I mean, after 30…and all…I do mean, ALL have perfectly healthy children, with no genetic defects. Even so, if they did, would that child be so horrible? Would someone abort or get rid of this child? I did know someone who had a child with genetic defects and they had this child, when she was 25 or 26….There is no guarantee, and yes, there are increased risks, but the average woman in her 30’s is not destined to have a child with genetic disorder. Some men act like this risk is almost 100%? Even know a woman, at 45, who got married late in life, had the hormone thing done to wake up her eggs, so to speak, and her daughter turned out fine. This is crazy talk. Most women these days, and men, want to have their careers established a bit before they start making babies, even if they do get married in early twenties. Is this blog from the dark ages? Encouraging women to give birth when they are still teens? Weird…when I was in high school, it was often the ‘boys’ who were teasing the young teen girl who got pregnant, in high school. If you guys want to advocate lowering the marriage age, then go for it, but don’t think you will get any laws changed anytime soon. There is always Thailand and similar places, but that is just taking advantage of the weak and those who are doing that to have food to feed their families. Instead of worrying about how the male is taken advantage of or being oppressed, why not help your fellow man/woman and send some money to a charity or cause that prevents human sex trafficking or women who are forced to sell their bodies, just to eat day to day, in other countries.

  165. Josh says:

    @Kms2014

    As stated before on other threads, I don’t do cunnilingus unless the STD risk is sufficiently mitigated.

    However I am trained in tantra for finger work and my love stick works fine within the confines of my age and more importantly condom.

    By the way, when I am with a woman I try to give her pleasure that in turn gives me pleasure. If it were just to ejaculate, rubbing one out is very convenient, but due to ample availability of …, I have not rubbed one out in ages.

  166. Josh says:

    @Kms2014

    “Two women does not make a good sample size”

    The sample size is larger than two, and the exact number is protected under the mystery clause.

  167. Josh says:

    @Alexis
    As in 15-20 being sexual prime. It was obvious (at least to me) the men were speaking of reproductive prime. I found no reason to break out the linguistics as it was obviously clear what they were referring to.”

    You will learn that Kms2014 is a swinger. Not sexual kind of swinger. She is a master of swinging discussion in territories that no one was writing about.

    But she is gorgeous and gets away with such swinging most of the times until the almighty gets seriously irked. 😉

  168. Kms2014 says:

    Okay, Jolexis…or, AlexJoJo…did not mean to ruffle your love stick so much 😉

  169. Alexis says:

    “yes there is a strong desire for society to criminalize maleness. And all the gender-neutral education craze is just a way to emasculate men from birth.”

    I fully, fully agree… and I absolutely despise it.

    As in 15-20 being sexual prime. It was obvious (at least to me) the men were speaking of reproductive prime. I found no reason to break out the linguistics as it was obviously clear what they were referring to. Also, the actual reproductive prime is 14-19*, though a woman is still viable to reproduce up until about age 27 (if I remember that portion correctly). Anything after then produces errors in DNA sequencing upon reproduction which (of course) subsequently increases each year afterwards.

    Also, if a girl is cancelling… that is her poor character and no fault of anyone else or what they look like. As women, we MUST take accountability for our actions. No one else is in control of our actions but ourselves.

    “Yes and I believe that many states waive the statutory rape laws in the case of marriage approved by the parents.”

    Thank goodness at least for this, but I fear that soon even this will be changed.

    “and, for most adult women, this is disgusting in thought.”

    In my experience, that’s false. Most women love that in fantasy-play. It comes second only to having multiple males on them at once.

    Also, most women do suck in bed, unfortunately… even the older ones. And yes, I have been with plenty of older females (and younger) to judge that.

    And before some women goes there lol… no that wasn’t my fault or caused by my inadequacies or judgement. They just plain sucked.

    *Reproductive prime occurs 3 years after a girl’s first period. Most girls get their period between the ages of 11 and 16.

  170. Kms2014 says:

    Two women does not make a good sample size, but hey, if you have it in your head that all women suck at sex, hate sex and are just naturally horrible at sex, then you must be so overwhelmingly good at sex that no woman can measure up to your earth shattering love stick and cunnilingus that makes even the driest desert like vagina become like the River Thames. I salute you, sir, for you obvious exceptional skills and god like lovemaking abilities 😉

  171. Josh says:

    @Kms2014

    “I never said most men do not perform well, either”

    I never said that you did either. 😉

  172. Josh says:

    Sweetheart, it’s true that I have had mostly in 20s, but enough in 30s and one in 40s. That was enough to determine that 20s works best for me for a multitude of reasons.

    Endless experimentation is useless. 😉

  173. Kms2014 says:

    I never said most men do not perform well, either….hmm, that is interesting.

  174. Kms2014 says:

    “In many cases it is argued that it is man’s fault if she is not performing in bed. I am not sure the same argument holds true if an untrained hairstylist does a bad job with my hair. ”

    The fact that you compare bad sex to a bad haircut is interesting….well, there are cheap hair cutting places, like Great. Clips or Super hair, that do not include a massage and the haircut is not as good…then, there are places that give a very nice hand and head massage with a hot towel, and proper haircut that is even.

    if the man does not want any foreplay, does not want the woman to tease and tantalize him, and just does his ‘do’ and pumps for less than a minute…rolls off the woman, and falls asleep(and, on top of that is not very well endowed)…is that the woman’s fault that the sex was horrible for her? She might have the skills of a porn star, yet it is wasted on this lazy at sex, male? Sure, a quickie is fun, sometimes, but not all the time or for that rare encounter. Whereas, a woman with skills and experience starts with some fun, and he returns the favour…and the couple both are interested in giving each other the utmost pleasure…then, what do you know..sex is fun.

  175. Kms2014 says:

    “And despite the hoopla that women get better at sex with age, and their sexual prime comes in their 30s, most women suck in bed all through their lives. So my money is better spent on younger, firmer bodies to play with.”

    And how many women, over 35 or 40 have you been with, Josh? Two? 😉 hehe, that just shows you don’t know what you speaks the average 30 year old knows more of what they are doing than the average 22 year old, unless one of her lovers taught her something. Why do you think you 20 something men endlessly chase women in their 30’s and 40’s? It isn’t for their horrible saggy skin, according to some on here(my skin is pretty firm by the way, but have always tried and stayed out of sun). The 20 something men want a woman who is more experienced at sex…or, else they wouldn’t have another reason to want to screw them, yes? Lol

    Maybe, I misunderstood flyR but any teacher having an affair with a student is risking their career and reputation, male or female. Teenagers talk and gossip, and think nothing of, or encourage a teacher to get fired, if they can sometimes.

  176. Josh says:

    I agree with gentle.

    I had no intention of messing with other women regardless of their age during my monogamous marriage with my ex. It would have remained so if she had not proactively sabotaged it.

    Most married men I know are monogamous to the best of my knowledge despite proactive sabotage of their relationships from the female side.

    And despite the hoopla that women get better at sex with age, and their sexual prime comes in their 30s, most women suck in bed all through their lives. So my money is better spent on younger, firmer bodies to play with.

    It seems that age does not make women better at sex. All it does is to allow them to get involved in more and more failed project, and this increases resentment against men. Men typically increase their income with age. Women typically hurt or even sacrifice their careers to take up projects and hence the resentment against men is multiplied in their collective heads. So younger is better for a myriad of reasons.

    Before the anti-misogyny police gets their batons drawn, I don’t blame women because they suck in bed. A woman is required to spend months in training and licensing to give me a happy hair but does not need a lick of anything to give me a happy …

    In many cases it is argued that it is man’s fault if she is not performing in bed. I am not sure the same argument holds true if an untrained hairstylist does a bad job with my hair. 😉

  177. Josh says:

    Yet again flyR gets is backwards. It is NOT the male student that needs teaching. It is the young female that needs proper sexual education. I am NOT suggesting that she spreads her legs to her teacher or anyone else before she takes up her first project.

  178. Josh says:

    @Kms2014

    “FlyR…that is disgusting. Are you saying that female teachers should fu– their 15 year old students, in order to help self-esteem?”

    Well if you encourage flyR when he says other dumb stuff, he gets courage to say dumber things. LOL!

  179. Kms2014 says:

    @NC gent…am I being naughty today? Yes….I am 😉

  180. Josh says:

    @flyR

    “There’s nothing that fixes the esteem of a 15 year old male like sex with the untouchable teacher.”

    Anyone wants to top this statement? 😉

  181. Kms2014 says:

    “I think the stats are showing that when kids are bombarded by sexual messages at an early age that puberty comes earlier. My personal belief is that those messages squeezed out a lot of learning about reality, responsibility and planning. If anything today’s teens are much less prepared to be parents at 18 than they were 30 years ago.”

    I thought it was all the antibiotics and hormones added in the meat we have used for mass consumption. Perhaps, that is why you see 9 and 10 year olds with breasts and having periods under the age of 10 now? Crazy….

  182. NC Gent says:

    wow – someone sure is twisting the comments today SMH

  183. Kms2014 says:

    That guy I used to work under…he lost his career, his retirement…his reputation. Is sad because he really was good to the kids. Even a gossipy teacher, or student with a vendetta against a teacher can ruin someone’s life now. That is why I prefer teaching overseas, where you do not lose your job, if you drink a beer with the students. It is so conservative here that some teachers have been fired for having pictures drinking alcohol on their facebook page, so imagine a rumour about hooking up with students with conservative communities involved. And, it isn’t just the females causing trouble with that. Saw plenty of the (redneck) men causing trouble, too.

  184. Kms2014 says:

    FlyR…that is disgusting. Are you saying that female teachers should fu– their 15 year old students, in order to help self-esteem? If caught it ruins the teacher’s life…and, for most adult women, this is disgusting in thought. Used to teach that age group and older. Cannot tell you how many male students tried that one. You never ever go there–ever. Even if you do have some twisted teen fetish, you just don’t do it. Not only do you go to jail, but good luck finding another job ever again. The male teacher that I used to intern under supposedly went there. He was a gay male in his forties…he had a thing for teen males, apparently, but he was a great guy. He got caught or there was as ‘rumour’ he was dating a student. I doubt some things that were said, and think it was more of a witch hunt, due to his hidden sexual orientation that was quite obvious to all, anyway….but, regardless, he was teaching in a redneck conservative school, so he should have been more careful and not spent so much time with other male students, even if it wasn’t true.

  185. flyR says:

    @ Alexis – Yes and I believe that many states waive the statutory rape laws in the case of marriage approved by the parents.

  186. flyR says:

    @kms2014 I think you are right on with your comments .

    With one exception, the 70 yo waiting for his 18 yo playmate may well have forgotten what day today was.

    I think the stats are showing that when kids are bombarded by sexual messages at an early age that puberty comes earlier. My personal belief is that those messages squeezed out a lot of learning about reality, responsibility and planning. If anything today’s teens are much less prepared to be parents at 18 than they were 30 years ago.

  187. Kms2014 says:

    Am sorry to be so blunt but it is the way it is. Men are complaining that the women cancel all the time, but yet you are paying women to see you. You are getting scammed, so find someone who sticks to their agreements.

  188. Kms2014 says:

    Women are not in their sexual prime, at 15-20…for men that have a thing for very young women, then that is the prime for them to want to f–k them, perhaps, but is not a woman’s sexual prime for her enjoyment, most times. Am beginning to see why some men on this blog are really clueless about women….

    Haha, this is hilarious this morning. Thanks for all the laughs! If you guys want 15-20 wives so badly, then go up to Appalachian country and go git yo selves a girl who just barely started her period. I didn’t even have my first period until almost 16 and I certainly was not mature enough to pick a life partner….there are exceptions, but would say that most men who are in their 30’s and 40’s and want a 15-20 year old wives do not want someone as an equal, but want someone to control and mold into some ideal, much like a child…as that is what you have, when you date so young. Teens wanting to marry each other, when they are closer in age make much more sense, since they will be growing together and have some common ground where one person will not be trying to have an imbalanced type relationship. Many men who has this fetish seem to date Asian women, since many look very young for their age.

    Also, just as a side note…any man who is in his 60’s and wonders why a 20 something cancels on him..it is because she thinks it is gross to have sex with you and saggy balls are pretty disgusting….am sorry, but you guys are paying women or picking women that are not really into you, if they keep canceling dates, continuously. Just remember what arrangements are and the girl is not dating you because she likes you or wants you(in most of the arrangements described on this blog, anyways)if the girl cannot keep her schedule to you, realise it is because she is avoiding you and does not want to see you, so pick someone a bit more professional, or someone who is actually attracted to you and wants to see you.

  189. RSD says:

    @Alexis, yes there is a strong desire for society to criminalize maleness. And all the gender-neutral education craze is just a way to emasculate men from birth.

  190. Alexis says:

    “laws have been passed to ban woman in sexual prime (15-20) from linking up with good father candidates…”

    This is just a bit backwards. The laws are designed to ban MEN from linking up with women who will be good wife and mother candidates. In reality it’s an anti-male law hidden under the guise of “protecting” females when in reality it does just the opposite.

    and yw RSD, please let us know how it goes.

  191. sugardoll says:

    Im Back …

  192. RSD says:

    *is coming over, not calling over

  193. RSD says:

    @NC Gent, you’re absolutely right. They cancel because “bf called and is calling over,” or “in-laws are visiting this weekend,” etc. Somehow I can schedule my life to put aside blocks of time for sugar, but they are incapable of doing the same. Then again, they’re incapable of a lot of things I’m capable of.

  194. NC Gent says:

    Every time I have tried to date an SB that was not single (either serious bf or married), the likelihood for cancellations and-or drama increased exponentially. Christy, you may have it figured out, but you would be a rare exception.

  195. Jacob says:

    OTOH, if an SB has a bisexuals male for project, the answer is a Hell No! As that would be an order of magnitude higher risk of STD.

  196. gentle(man)soul says:

    Analog Kid says:

    “A SD with at least an ounce of wisdom and self-preservation would never get involved in a SB that is married.”

    The drama factor is doubled when an SO is involved with the SB. If you are married you don’t need someone else’s SO trying to track you down. Most SBs are single it seems ,so why go for a married SB when there are so many other options .OTOH most SDs are married so there are not as many other single options .

  197. NC Gent says:

    From my experience, more than 50% of the “single” women over 30 are actually married and are looking for something on the side with some benefits. One of the huge double standards that exists on SA… if men lie about their realtionship status, there should be hell to be paid. If a woman lies about her relationship status, she is protecting her interests.

  198. RSD says:

    I also had an engaged SB once, but she got pregnant from her fiance. Women are completely incapable of keeping their other guys out of my life.

  199. gentle(man)soul says:

    Carmen says:

    ” I wonder if playing in sugar makes married men less attracted to their wives.?”

    Christy says:

    “I am in a very satisfying open marriage and have been for over 5 years now”

    Just wondering myself. I think the converse is true . A marriage becomes boring which leads to Sugaring rather than Sugaring causing sex problems with the spouse . I would not be in this world if all was ideal at home .

    It is hard to go back once the genie is out of the bottle though . For me, having sex with a hard body 22 yr old is a deterrent to having sex with an older woman . Even if I were single I would continue to sugar date to have access to the younger age group.

  200. RSD says:

    I had a married SB (profile said single) who was also quite active on the blog a few years ago. But then it turned out she wanted an SD so she could have the means to leave her allegedly gay husband who was supposedly in a sham marriage with her, except that he didn’t want her to leave and he would be mad if he found out she was with me, etc, etc. Didn’t last long. No thank you, enough drama from single gals, I don’t need their hubby’s problems too.

  201. Josh says:

    @Jacob

    “if not for our wacked laws.”

    You lost me here.

  202. Jacob says:

    “Project”: boyfriend, child, husband, etc. Whatever the woman voluntarily spends her time and resources on in an attempt to improve.

    I make an exception for lesbian girlfriend, because an SB being bisexuals and having a lesbian girlfriend helps reducing her risk of getting STD or pregnancy from otherwise doing guys when she is not with me. So bankrolling them both would be okay by me, as the lesbian GF serves the functional purpose of keeping the SB occupied when I’m busy with work. All good! 😉

  203. Jacob says:

    @Josh
    The hubby wants to know whether the SD is a good provider for the both of them. I tend to avoid any SB with a project of her own that would require me to bankroll in addition to herself. Women always love their projects more than they love their benefactors; there is a very good biological reason for it: she is a conduit for gathering external resources for her offspring, which would normally be her life’s project if not for our wacked laws. I’d be fine with lavishing on the woman if her project is genetically closely related to me; otherwise, I’m not interested.

  204. Christy says:

    I am no stripper, I am in a very satisfying open marriage and have been for over 5 years now, we have 100% open, honest! trust, respect and communication. No murderous jealous husbands here. My husband trusts my decscions for the most part, but if an arrangement is to continue, sooner or later he may prefer to meet the SD (I typically refer to as playmate). It may sound messy to some, but in my personal experiences, my “extracurricular” partners prefer me, who will only reach out when absolutely appropriate, or when returning a message, there is never a chance of L word being dropped, lines being crossed, or anything that would intentionally jepordize SD’s marriage, or mine for that matter.

  205. Josh says:

    So the “SB has the husband’s blessing” seems to be more important requirement than the “SB is a stripper [or a hooker?]” 😉

  206. Josh says:

    One 34 year-old SB in my neck of the woods requires that you meet her husband before anything happens. 😉

  207. Why do you say unless she is a stripper?

  208. Analog Kid says:

    Unless the married SB is a stripper and has the husband’s blessing ……. it’s just a bad decision to get involved with married women. Perhaps I’m jaded though as I knew two guys killed by jealous husbands many years ago.

  209. @Analog Kid

    I have a feeling that you’ve offered this advice in good faith. Care to elaborate?

  210. Analog Kid says:

    A SD with at least an ounce of wisdom and self-preservation would never get involved in a SB that is married.

  211. Josh says:

    @Christy

    I have a feeling that you’ve offered this advice in good faith. Care to elaborate?

  212. RSD says:

    @Alexis, thank you :)

  213. Alexis says:

    @RSD
    Yes, you likely won’t hear from that one again but if you do, I would just ignore it.

    Best wishes for your Thursday date.

  214. Christy says:

    Find a sugar baby who Is also married, who needs the same, and understands your needs in your primary relationship.

  215. RSD says:

    I think I answered my own question… just messaged her and told her just in case she thinks we’re still on.

  216. RSD says:

    @Alexis, yeah she texted me some this afternoon wanting to meet me tomorrow instead to get her money. The basic answer was no; I was basically offering something nice and she cancelled and I am not dedicating more of my time to her. She wished me luck, to which I replied, “Seeking arrangement is not about luck, it’s about what one offers but thank you,” and I wished her luck in return, since she is much more likely to need it. Hopefully that’s it.

    On other fronts, I have a more promising date for Thursday, and I think for Tuesday but I decided against the Tuesday one since her job is bartendering and cocktail waitressing, and my distaste for alcohol means I’m not likely to warm to her. We texted briefly days ago and not since so I’m not sure I even have to say anything about not going; it seems obvious enough.

  217. RSD says:

    @Midwest (Former SB), I’m so happy for you!!

  218. flyR says:

    Midwest ……………………….. Great to hear that things are going so well. You’re the People’s Exhibit A for the opportunity of quality, mature sugar without compromise

  219. Alexis says:

    “Well, when I woke up this morning to find a 3:30 AM text saying that she had a “family emergency,” I responded, “Aw that’s alright; I guess it wasn’t meant to be.” Now she wants to reschedule! Oh well, I’m just gonna have to be more blunt…”

    I wouldn’t even bother myself to respond to such nonsense. She’ll get the idea.

  220. Midwest (Former SB) says:

    Hey sugars!

    You know how if you’re dormant for a while and you start getting those e-mails? My turn!

    Nice to see NC Gent, SDinLA, FlyR and RSD keeping the blog in it’s prime! You gents always made it easier to manage this lifestyle! Ladies…take their advice to heart!

    Quick update…I’m still in school, but done soon. I’ve completed one board certification and making great money, but will do even better once classes are done! I bought the house I wanted! My man is a complete gent and an SD who isn’t aware he’s an SD. NYCSB and I are still mistresses! I’m happy and blessed. Thank you to the gents who made this happen in my sugar days! It changed my life!

    Midwest (former) SB

  221. Josh says:

    Got it. Math team girls, yes. Meth team girls, no.

  222. RSD says:

    I texted her back and told her no.

    Yes, FlyR, tuition can be code for many things; I know that from experience. My gem SB had me pay her tuition directly to her school; there was never any question where the money went.

    As for math, the math-team-girls would totally be my type :)

  223. Petite says:

    Well…
    I was a mathlete in HS and now I’m pursuing a career in the arts. Maybe that makes me an anomaly; but I think math can be beautiful. I mean, just look at fractals. Mathematically and visually beautiful.

  224. FlyR says:

    RSD will be interesting to hear her proposal

    Are you sure tuition is not code for cocaine

  225. RSD says:

    Well, when I woke up this morning to find a 3:30 AM text saying that she had a “family emergency,” I responded, “Aw that’s alright; I guess it wasn’t meant to be.” Now she wants to reschedule! Oh well, I’m just gonna have to be more blunt…

  226. flyR says:

    “In my experience with flakes / chronic cancelers / always tardy, it’s an inherent personality trait. They are as incapable of showing up on time for picking up a pile of cash as they are showing up on time for dinner.”

    Beauty is transient but flake is forever.

    Math Wizard SB – Yes you may have trouble relating to a majority of SD candidates but you only need to find one or two SD.

  227. Alexis says:

    “Math was one of my favorite classes and I seriously contemplated not dating anyone who said “I am not good at math” but that eliminated most of the hot chicks…”

    That will eliminate most everyone (male *and* female) since most people seem to hate math. I don’t meet too many (if any) guys who like math. Most giggle and say something offensive about it when I bring it up.

    Oh well… their loss, my gain.

  228. RSD says:

    @FlyR, her flaking saved me $600 and I had no desire to pursue things with her, so it was all for the best. But I don’t think flaking is necessarily due to other guys or other sources of revenue. In my experience with flakes / chronic cancelers / always tardy, it’s an inherent personality trait. They are as incapable of showing up on time for picking up a pile of cash as they are showing up on time for dinner. They often have trouble keeping jobs also because the same trait makes gainful employment very difficult to maintain.

  229. Josh says:

    Math was one of my favorite classes and I seriously contemplated not dating anyone who said “I am not good at math” but that eliminated most of the hot chicks majoring in arts, business or some shit like.

    Yes, I have dealt with the other PPP but this PPP is much more relevant to my sugar life.

    Also, I never said that ALL women take up the pitter patter projects. Many do. Some don’t. C’est la vie.

  230. Alexis says:

    Oh great, I take a break from studies and the first thing I see is “PPP”.

    Point-to-Point Protocol lol

    BTW though, some of us don’t care for projects. I think we’re apparently rare but we do exist. I can’t be the only one. That’s mathematically improbable.

  231. Josh says:

    I have talked about women taking up projects but I never ave it a name. I nkw have a name for it.

    Pitter Patter Project or–as any blue or red blooded American would have it–PPP.

  232. FlyR says:

    RSD. Sounds like she found someone or several that got her what she needed

  233. RSD says:

    @Josh, yeah she probably figured that if it sounded too good to be true it was too good to be true. On the other hand, based on her stated and observed behavior, I could see how she couldn’t make it.

  234. RSD says:

    @Jamie, your take on love and sugar seems to be exactly like the way I see it. Nothing like genuine affection, as long as the sense of reality is not lost and no one is pressured.

  235. Jamie says:

    On falling in love, I disagree. It’s not one of those things you can control, really. But I think it is possible to fall in love and keep things in check. It’s a matter of emotional intelligence, I think. When you operate emotively, there is little to no room for common sense. Those are the people I steer clear of, here and in the traditional scene.

    I’ve had two such relationships and loved them both dearly. I’m completely open to it. I want to enjoy my relationships to their absolute fullest, otherwise, what’s the point? But you go in knowing the limitations and expectations, and they don’t suddenly change because your heart goes pitter-patter. And when it’s time to end it, let it go. Free will, I say.

  236. Alexis says:

    RSD, I understand but please don’t let yourself be taken advantage of though.

  237. Josh says:

    “I told her, in that case, that she can just meet me this morning, no sex, I’d give her $600 (gave her $200 on Friday), and she can delete her profile and move on…Except at 3:30 AM I get a text that she can’t make it because of a “family emergency”.”

    I guess she freaked out that you were up to no good. You should’ve asked her to come to your home at a decent hour–like after 8 AM maybe? 😉

  238. RSD says:

    I saw a profile from what appears to be a grad student (or an older college student) and it was written like a text message a 13 year old girl would send one of her girlfriends. I actually messaged her and told her that, though I know I sound obnoxious, if she wants to attract an educated and wealthy man, she needs a better styled profile, and I gave her my edited version.

  239. RSD says:

    @Alexis, I’m just looking for my next gem. I know realistically it will take an immense amount of time and drama and sleeping with untold numbers of wrong SBs before I find the right one. As for this one, I liked her and thought she was doable, but I knew it wouldn’t work when she came late. Sadly, no one gets a second chance to make a first impression.

  240. Josh says:

    yougottabekiddingme says:
    September 7, 2014 at 6:41 am
    Do you like peanut butter?”

    I know that the question is for flyR but he is out expired grocery shopping at the discount stores.

    To tell you the truth, flyR just LUVS peanut butter, the expiredier the better. 😉

  241. RSD…

    My tuition is due on Tuesday. I’ll show up ten minutes early ;-p.

    Kind of you to consider her situation. Sounds like she has a little much going on, though.

  242. Alexis says:

    Really RSD, I don’t know much about you as I seldom see you post but it looks to me like you’re trying to turn over some kind of new “leaf”.

    There’s a distinction though between being a perpetrator and a door mat. You need to aim for some middle ground there, my goodness.

  243. Alexis says:

    “I have to add that I don’t live in the US…”

    I wondered. I thought you were from somewhere else but living here. Now so much makes sense. Apparently, sugaring is different in every nation.

  244. RSD says:

    So, this 19 year old who came 80+ minutes late on Friday, I kinda felt sorry for her. I got the sense that she just needed tuition money for her community college and was not cut out for real sugar dating. So I texted her last night and asked her straight up if she was just on the site for tuition and how much her tuition was. Answers basically were yes and $800. I told her, in that case, that she can just meet me this morning, no sex, I’d give her $600 (gave her $200 on Friday), and she can delete her profile and move on. I figured that’s a nice thing to do. Except at 3:30 AM I get a text that she can’t make it because of a “family emergency”. Oh well, her problem, not mine.

    I kinda concluded it wouldn’t work out when, during our 25 min first date, she said that she was fired from a fast food place. I’m a stickler for reliability and punctuality, and the only way to get fired from fast food places is either to repeatedly not show up on time or to not show up at all. Plus, she was 80+ min late to a 90 min meet (I stayed late to be polite and barely made it to my dinner engagement). I concluded that, since it was not likely to work, if I slept with her, I’d just be taking advantage of her desperation, so I’d rather not. But at the same time, some humane affection took the better of me and, for once, I made a “decent” proposal (as opposed to my more typical “indecent” ones). But I guess if you can’t show up to work, you can’t show up to get your free tuition money hand-out either.

  245. Do you like peanut butter?

  246. Alexis says:

    “flyR does not give a shit about the expiration date on milk or prescription medicines or anything else. He actually buys expired milk at deep discount from a discount store.”

    LMAO

    I seriously stay on this site for the blog at this point. It cracks me up.

  247. Hmmm…genital mutilation and inter species erotica all in one night? Hope you’ve sobered up, babe.

    As for the post that sent you assing me…

    yougottabekiddingme says:
    September 6, 2014 at 5:02 pm
    “gtt_envy says:
    September 6, 2014 at 11:40 am
    @yougottabekiddingme, You assume too much believe it or not there are many women that seek exactly what I provide.”

    “Um…what the hell are you talking about, please? To which of my comments you are referring? I don’t recall loving you lately.”

    What I meant was that I didn’t recall writing anything to gtt. I was not referring to you, my one and only ass-to-ass, cock-to-clit, sheep fucking, nemesis love. And I wasn’t implying that you are gtt.

    Now…

    I propose we have makeup sex, and let this one blow over. But if it would make you feel better, I suppose I could put some peanut butter on my clit, and let your bitch lick it off.

    Whatdya say, love?

  248. Elaine says:

    Wahaha LOL, as long as 19y students continuing on making profiles like this, I don’t have to worry about the competition of youth anyway! 😉

    “I’m a sexy 19 year old college student. I want a sugar daddy to pamper and spoil me like the princess I am. I love shopping and the finer things in life.. Be my sugar daddy and trust me you WONT regret it (; xoxo”

    “Sugar daddy who pays me money frequently. Open to options but pay up $$$ don’t waste my time if you don’t plan on sending me money. Xoxo”

  249. Josh says:

    Age is just a number may apply to men for certain age range. For example for men 15-25 or 25-35 or 35-45 or 45-55 age “may” just be a number based on how healthy their lifestyle and genes were.

    The same “may” not be true for women. If it were true, asking women’s age would not be an impolite question. 😉

  250. Josh says:

    flyR does not give a shit about the expiration date on milk or prescription medicines or anything else. He actually buys expired milk at deep discount from a discount store.

  251. FlyR says:

    @elaine. Expiration date is a concept designed to eliminate competition , promoted by those whose qualifications are limited to their lack of experience

  252. Josh says:

    This is a weird post night.

    People make fun of men who use sheep for you know what.

    Does anyone know of any woman who uses/used her dog for you know what?

  253. Josh says:

    There is a possibility that you don’t even have a clitoris.

    That is, it was cut off because you were born in the wrong country and your clit was “circumcised” on the insistence of the oldest and uglist female member of your clan.

    In that case you may want to update your profile for SDs to pay for your clit restoration operation. 😉

  254. Josh says:

    yougottabekiddingme

    “Unfortunately, I don’t have a penis.”

    Now you’re telling me? :(

    Don’t worry we’ll make do with your clitoris. “Problem” solved. 😉

  255. Josh says:

    Did I tell you the story of a guy who named his female dog “wife”. The bitch (as in female dog) ran away. 😉

  256. Josh says:

    You ass-u-me too much.

  257. Josh says:

    Being a hetro, pelvis to pelvis is lot more interesting to me.

  258. Josh says:

    The text in the parentheses is added to keep the anti-misogynist police force at bay. 😉

    And very soon, like an honest to goodness female (in a romantic arena), you will deny that you do any such thing. LOL!

  259. I’m sorry, sir Josh…

    You said you want to go ass-to-ass, u and me?

  260. Josh says:

    And very soon, like an honest to goodness female, you will deny that you do any such thing. LOL!

  261. Josh says:

    You ass-u-me too much. 😉

  262. I’m sorry, sir Josh…

    You said you’d like to have a conversation in Spanish?

  263. Josh says:

    Awww pobresita. 😉

  264. “Josh says:
    September 6, 2014 at 5:20 pm
    @yougottastopass-u-ming

    Hmmm, Alexis, the me then gtt_envy?

    Is this the reputation you are building around here sweetheart? ”

    I don’t what either one of you are talking about. I didn’t say anything to gtt.

  265. Josh says:

    @yougottastopass-u-ming

    Hmmm, Alexis, the me then gtt_envy?

    Is this the reputation you are building around here sweetheart? 😉

  266. “gtt_envy says:
    September 6, 2014 at 11:40 am
    @yougottabekiddingme, You assume too much believe it or not there are many women that seek exactly what I provide.”

    Um…what the hell are you talking about, please? To which of my comments you are referring? I don’t recall loving you lately.

  267. “Josh says:
    September 6, 2014 at 8:07 am
    @yougottabestrangetosomeoneoutthere

    Believe it or not, I am a well-fucked man, and that is very different from a fucked man or even a fucking man (a member of fucking men group).

    You’re more than welcome to ass-u-me about my sex life or lack thereof.”

    Hmmm…you missed it. Wasnt assuming anything about your “sex life or lack thereof.”

    [shrugs]

  268. Josh says:

    @Jacob and @RSD

    People use all kinds of strategies to reduce stress in their lives. Some give elaborate names to various phenomena, the others don’t, and just do things for the best outcomes.

    Money is a great tool to reduce stress in one’s life. More power to those who use it wisely instead of hoarding it to questionable ends. 😉

  269. RSD says:

    @Jacob, “Put it into a different perspective, a few hundred to a few thousand is an inexpensive way of discovering the character of a potential partner.”

    Absolutely true!

  270. Josh says:

    I had not visited WYP’s blog for a while, but since you reminded me, I wrote a quick post there on their blog article on meet cutes.

    Meet cute a la WYP: I paid her again and again to meet me, as many times (minus a few) until she was confident that I was loaded and did not know what a pre nup was.

    😉

  271. Kms2014 says:

    @Josh…wait, when I first joined the blog, weren’t you always using WYP and giving money for meet and greets, or first dates? Have been given money for my time for lunch or dinner date meet and greets, in the past, and thought it was nice gesture (: The only meet and greet amount that might make me weak with river flow-age is Beck’s meet and greet amount, hehehe!

  272. Josh says:

    @Lulu

    “@RSD

    My heart has going pitter patter.”

    Are your knees totally giving in and is a river flowing down there? 😉

  273. Kms2014 says:

    “Alexis says:
    September 6, 2014 at 10:59 am
    “I figured the wife was picking older ladies for a reason(so her husband wouldn’t replace her)…”

    This is so ridiculous. Talk about insecure. I just lost a pot because his woman didn’t “like” me. She didn’t “like” me as soon as I came into view.

    What did she want? To sleep with an ugly, old hag? lol It was supposed to be for BOTH of them. I could have given her much pleasure but because of insecurity, she lost out.”

    @alexis, do you want the profile number of the couple who messaged me? They are looking for someone and I am not into couples. She said they do not care about age, but not sure how young you are. The wife is 21.

  274. Jacob says:

    Put it into a different perspective, a few hundred to a few thousand is an inexpensive way of discovering the character of a potential partner.

  275. Lulu says:

    @RSD

    My heart has going pitter patter.

  276. Elaine says:

    @RSD

    “I’d rather let someone rinse me off a few hundred dollars than change who I am”

    Chapeau!
    The differences between the “Gentlemen” and the “Boys”.
    ..Couldn’t have been more clear!

    And, I don’t know, but I have the impression that RSD at the end has less negative experiences with his pots and SBs, as the ones who always think they will be scammed or rinsed and don’t trust no one.

    Selffulfilling prophecy this is called….

    I rather

  277. RSD says:

    @josh, I’m glad I could give the ultimate pleasure to so many women so easily 😉

  278. Josh says:

    @RSD

    “I’d rather let someone rinse me off a few hundred dollars than change who I am.”

    You have no idea (or maybe you do) how many SBs just had a collective orgasm while reading this. 😉

  279. RSD says:

    And thank you to all those who consider my approach gentlemanly. I’d rather let someone rinse me off a few hundred dollars than change who I am.

  280. Josh says:

    And don’t you forget that the SB has put xoxo. That stands for hug kiss hug kiss.

    So don’t you whine that she is not giving you anything from the point of “mutually beneficial.”

  281. Josh says:

    @Carmen

    ““I treat people the way I think I should treat others, not the way other people treat others.”
    I love it. What a gentleman!”

    EXACTLY my point. The definition of a “gentleman” is:

    The one who ignores the bulshit a woman brings upon him and still treats her as RSD described above.

    The “boys” react differently though. 😉

  282. Josh says:

    “I’m not misleading anybody except my LTR who thinks I’m faithful.”

    What a luck gal indeed! 😉

  283. Alexis says:

    Elaine, your English is excellent though. :)

    “The secret to get them to like me was that I made it all about her. She had most of my attention and flirtations and affection and I would try to make her feel as gorgeous as possible.”

    Yep, the usual routine, but I didn’t even get a chance. It was auto-hate as soon as she saw me.

  284. Carmen says:

    “I treat people the way I think I should treat others, not the way other people treat others.”
    I love it. What a gentleman!

  285. Carmen says:

    ” I just lost a pot because his woman didn’t “like” me. She didn’t “like” me as soon as I came into view.”
    I used to have to deal with women like this during my previous job as a dancer. The secret to get them to like me was that I made it all about her. She had most of my attention and flirtations and affection and I would try to make her feel as gorgeous as possible. Only when I could tell she was into me would I move on to the man. I had many happy couple customers- husband and wife included :)

  286. gtt_envy says:

    @yougottabekiddingme, You assume too much :) believe it or not there are many women that seek exactly what I provide.

    Women who want a younger guy (under 40) in shape, current not caught in the 80’s, current music, style, outgoing, someone to hang out with and have fun with a few times a month. The girl I’m seeing tonight is 22 and a senior in college. we’ve already been together once….she is fun!!

    Arrangement paraphrased her words not mine “Don’t give me money in person, don’t buy me gifts, let’s talk, have fun, great sex, experiment, I want it to feel real not that you are buying me or something transactional” there is no set allowance I just wire here $750/mo and we bang each other’s brains out and talk cosntantly.

    Cheapest arrangement I’ve ever had and most fullfilling because of the emotional piece.

    The girl before was very transactional….great in bed, but there was no mistaking what this was. She wanted Paypal deposits on Fridays……and would always bring up litle emergencies $50 here, $25 there, truly insignificant amounts, but it makes it feel yucky.

    Yes, I crave variety, but the girls know exactly what they are getting into. I’m not misleading anybody except my LTR who thinks I’m faithful.

  287. Elaine says:

    @Alexis

    As I said earlier, age is just a number….
    So I will announce on blog when I feel I am getting over my expiration date and am about to delete my account, ok?

    And yes, my english is not perfect.
    You are right.

    BTW. plane sex is still on my bucketlist! :-)

  288. Alexis says:

    “I figured the wife was picking older ladies for a reason(so her husband wouldn’t replace her)…”

    This is so ridiculous. Talk about insecure. I just lost a pot because his woman didn’t “like” me. She didn’t “like” me as soon as I came into view.

    What did she want? To sleep with an ugly, old hag? lol It was supposed to be for BOTH of them. I could have given her much pleasure but because of insecurity, she lost out.

    *banging head on wall*

    @Elaine
    “You are not my target anyway, I would never fancy a -30 woman.”

    Everyday we get closer to seeing eye to eye. 😉

    “Of course I am not always happy with my age, because my expiration date for sugar is approaching.”

    I wonder what your definition of this is… 40? 50?….. 75? lol

    Also, please make sure to have plane sex before your so-called expiration date. It seems to be on your mind a lot as it’s in two posts.

  289. Josh says:

    Plane sex is well above the plain sex.

  290. Josh says:

    *contemplate

  291. Elaine says:

    @ RSD

    “I treat people the way I think I should treat others, not the way other people treat others.”

    That indeed is a very sage and nice advice! :-)

  292. Elaine says:

    @ Josh

    I almost had “plane sex” with a gorgeous total “strange”r in a flight from Europe to JFK. Got cold feet. Absence of condoms screwed the whole thing. *Sigh*

    Hahaha LOL
    Typo..
    Plain I meant!

  293. Josh says:

    “I treat people the way I think I should treat others, not the way other people treat others.”

    Now that’s sage advice to complete. 😉

  294. RSD says:

    @Josh, yes, I paid her $200. I keep up my end of the bargain always; it’s up to her to keep up hers; if she doesn’t, it’s up to me whether or not I want to continue seeing her. It’s the way I do it. I decided long ago that just because other people are flakes or rinsers should not mean that I should be one too. I treat people the way I think I should treat others, not the way other people treat others.

  295. RSD says:

    Also, why do SBs claim they’re late because of “traffic” when my traffic app shows all the roads are green? Just fess up and say, “It took me an hour longer to do my nails than I expected,” or “My boyfriend took an hour longer banging me than usual.” I’d actually take those excuses better. If you’re gonna lie, at least make it a lie that’s worth hearing.

  296. Josh says:

    I am almost hesitant to ask the next nosey question. Did she get her $200 meeting allowance from you even after being 82 min late?

  297. RSD says:

    @Josh, “Curious…why were you still waiting for her for those 70 min?”

    So I can say I did my part and she ruined it. I hate being the bad guy, so I make sure every SB gets a chance to ruin it herself. They take their break-ups better when they screwed up rather than when I’m just bored with them. Over 90% of SBs will give me ample cause by a few meets. Some will manage a few weeks or months, and rarely one will last beyond that before self-destructing (the elusive “gems” everyone talks about).

  298. RSD says:

    Sadly, there are two types of women. Those who dig their relationships’ graves before things even start to work, and those who wait till things are good before they start digging.

  299. Josh says:

    Curious…why were you still waiting for her for those 70 min?

  300. Josh says:

    @RSD

    Got it. With that premise I too would prefer a gorgeous rocket scientist over a stereotypical blonde.

  301. RSD says:

    She texted me 70 min late that she’s there, but she was at the wrong place. So it took her another 12 minutes to get to where I was which was where we were supposed to meet.

  302. Josh says:

    @RSD

    How was she 70 min as well as 82 min late for the same date?

  303. RSD says:

    @Josh, yes, a woman can be a drop-dead-gorgeous rocket scientist but be self-destructive with her relationships. But that doesn’t stop me from wanting to sleep with a drop-dead-gorgeous rocket scientist who will sabotage her relationship with me. In fact, self-sabotage (or as I call it, “digging her own grave”) is so innate to women and relationships that I fully expect it regardless of the woman’s other traits. Each new SB I meet is just going to be further proof of what I already know to be the case.

  304. Josh says:

    Well I was not the one to “seek plane sex”. If I had sought it I would have packed condoms. It was just a once-in-a-lifetime experience. Never to be repeated before or after.

  305. Josh says:

    Elaine says:
    September 6, 2014 at 7:06 am
    Maybe there is just a difference of what people are looking for outside their marriage?

    Some seek attention
    Some seek beauty
    Some seek youth
    Some seek plane sex”

    I almost had “plane sex” with a gorgeous total “strange”r in a flight from Europe to JFK. Got cold feet. Absence of condoms screwed the whole thing. *Sigh*

  306. RSD says:

    So I met someone yesterday, she was 70 min late and went to the wrong place, and eventually made it to where we were supposed to meet 82 min late. Needless to say, this is unlikely to work…

    I think I’m gonna have to add “punctual and reliable” to the “what I’m looking for” section of my profile.

  307. Josh says:

    “But brains and beauty is a truly rare combination…”

    I have given up on that combination long ago.

    A woman could be a well-respected, well-compensated rocket scientist, brain surgeon or legal authority in her respective professional capacity, but when it comes to her relationship with a man, that brain goes haywire. Does not make her a bad human being. It just is. 😉

  308. RSD says:

    @Analog Kid, “* You are paying a SB just to show up on a 1st date. Preposterous
    * You actually spell out and discuss money prior to meeting a POT. Really?
    * You pay a monthly allowance …. in an amount that is also,
    yeah you guessed it …..preposterous”

    My strategy for sugar dating now is simple. I no longer meet 200 people I am barely interested in to see what sticks. I pick 1 or 2 SBs and approach them very directly and go from there. They know exactly what I am looking for, and without exception they like my direct approach compared to the other messages they get.

    I don’t see how $4K/month is “preposterous”. Plus, I genuinely enjoy feeling like one person is well taken care of and appreciates what I do for her; I enjoy giving as much as receiving.

    I am very clear about meeting times and I require that an SB pick two specific 90-120 min meets a week, so I can plan my schedule and she can plan her life also. Yes, I’ve had SBs where I could text her and say, “Wanna grab lunch in 30 min?” but most of the time both the SB and I have lives and can’t just meet randomly.

  309. RSD says:

    @Eric, I am the expert of mixing sugar and love. If you’re looking for someone who is attractive mentally and physically, it can happen despite every intention to the contrary. I’m impressed that she was able to call it off; typically things just get more and more heated and out of control once genuine feelings develop, and it becomes progressively more difficult to walk away. And yes, the feelings do fade over time. The hardest thing is finding an SB with both brains and body who can keep an SD captivated both in and outside the bedroom. My last SB was a med student and so I admired her genius and work ethic and beauty, yet she looked up to me as even more academically accomplished. Hence it lasted four years. If I can’t respect the girl’s brain, it’ll end quick. But brains and beauty is a truly rare combination…

  310. Josh says:

    “I like your three step program, flyR.”

    That’s another line in the urban dictionary for the word “strange”

    As in, “I usually prefer something that makes sense, but I am gonna get me some “strange” tonight. I will post that I like flyR’s nonsense.”

  311. Josh says:

    @yougottabestrangetosomeoneoutthere

    Believe it or not, I am a well-fucked man, and that is very different from a fucked man or even a fucking man (a member of fucking men group).

    You’re more than welcome to ass-u-me about my sex life or lack thereof. 😉

  312. “Well then on a daily basis most “strange” is waste of money, time and effort…

    and occasionally waste of assets and reputation built over lifetime.”

    You poor tormented soul. Come and get some strange, my love. It doesn’t bite.

  313. Elaine says:

    @ YKBKM

    Ok, misunderstood!
    Thanks 😉

  314. Strange means an encounter that is outside of the usual for a person. It could simply be someone outside of your relationship, or someone outside the type you usually date. For example, someone taller or shorter, older or younger, nearer or farther, wilder or tamer, more or less pigmented, more or less rotund, quirkier, bushier, higher or lower maintenance, cut or uncut.

    Yeah?

  315. Carmen says:

    I’ve been approached by couples as well and in also not into them. I like my women and men separate. Put them together and it totally changes the dynamics. And I dont like girls that are too young either- mid 20’s to 30’s girls are more experienced lol. I might even like them older but couldn’t say as I’ve never tried.

  316. Josh says:

    Well then on a daily basis most “strange” is waste of money, time and effort…

    and occasionally waste of assets and reputation built over lifetime. 😉

  317. Kms means “strange” in a different way. Here’s a little help from urban dictionary:

    strange
    sex outside your current relationship
    I need to go out and get me some strange tonight.

    2.
    strange
    A description commonly applied by male American, bachelors in the 50s and 60s to the anonymous mass of women whom they aspired to engage in casual sex with.

    A clever, still slightly naughty, synonym for more profane terms like ‘pussy’ or ‘trim’.
    Bob: Hey Chuck, where’s the best place around here to find some strange?

    Chuck: I’m not the cassa nova you think I am, but The Gin Mill is always crawling with strange. Shall we?

    3.
    strange
    A piece of ass that you get in addition to your regular woman
    My girl is getting on my nerves so let me hit the club and get some strange.

    4.
    strange
    An outdated term referring to having sex with a “strange”-er, similar to a hookup. Used in the same way as getting some ass.
    My girlfriend keeps blue balling me so I got some strange last night.

  318. “”Flyer’s three step program

    a) pick partners who are good at sharing, learning and giving (this eliminates 99% of attorneys)

    I’m also a great believer that how the relationship goes between 5 minutes before the panties hit the floor until 5 minutes after has a permanent imprint.”

    I like your three step program, flyR.

    Picking partners who are good at sharing is important to me. There are so many simple ways in which you can share that make a notable difference in comfort, chemistry and intimacy. This is also demonstrated in the 5 minutes before and 5 minutes after. It’s really about sharing, taming your selfishness, and being conscientious enough to recognize the other person.

  319. Elaine says:

    Maybe there is just a difference of what people are looking for outside their marriage?

    Some seek attention
    Some seek beauty
    Some seek youth
    Some seek plane sex
    Some seek a friend
    Some seek a trustee
    Some seek a mistress
    Some seek warmth
    Etc.etc….

    I would be very shortvisioned to call either of them “strange”, only because the majority on this site seeks youth and sex?

    Tiger was probably looking for plane sex, Charles for a friend and trustee.
    Does that make one “normal” and the other one “strange”?

    Hmmmm, not so sure….

  320. “Wouldn’t it be nice…and the right thing you do, while you are sucking up the youth of other women, which is priceless, by the way….to, oh, I don’t know, try and help mentor them and leave them in a better situation than when you found them, instead of referring to and treating them like rotating stable horses? Even stable horses get treated better long-term than what you are describing… And, I agree. If you guys think it is cute to lie to your women, so that you can partake in various poonanny that rivals a variety bulk chip bag from Sam’s club, then more power to you. But, it seems that does not sit well to those with a little higher caliber of character, and certain Sugar Daddies actually understand that this lifestyle is not a p4p in theory, but a responsibility for BOTH parties to enrich the life of the other. (am not speaking of escorts or rinsers here, but true mistresses and sugar babies who are going into this thinking they are getting a real arrangement…not some guy who wants to lead them on, then dump them in a short period of time, or play silly games to get a ‘cheaper’ price down the road). As far as the men who take well-intentioned true sugar babies and their youth for a few dollars, so that they can get a cheaper price than what they really are doing(there are other sites for that), or even try to play games and break up with them and try to get a cheaper price from them later….well, some people don’t have a conscience, so is sad, when I read things like this.”

    Appreciate your post, Kms. I’m glad that your experiences have been contrary to the popular conceptions.

    I think that it’s much to do with the person you are, and the tone you set…not just in your profile, but in your correspondence and interactions.

    Kudos to you for having a beautiful core that is outwardly radiant. You are lovely.

  321. gtt_envy says:

    @KMS2014, so do you think women have the same thing? I personally do not!! For me it’s about the “experience” I’ve slept with girls I didn’t even think were very pretty just built different to see what it was like.

    Sugar for me is always about a piece of “strange” and that new experience! I have a great day to day person to talk to, share with, cry with, laugh with, so I don’t look for that in a SB 😉

    Your friend is right all about variety!!

  322. Kms2014 says:

    No no…my guy friend taught me about ‘strange’. Not strange, in regards to the scenario or weirdness…but strange like ‘new and different women’. He calls it the phenomenon of ‘strange’…like strange and new poonanny 😉

  323. Josh says:

    “strange”

    Even you claim it’s “strange”. So do you think most SDs are into “strange” behavior?

  324. Kms2014 says:

    I meant, would many argue that Diana was not more attractive than Camilla?

  325. Kms2014 says:

    Know I sound like a bragging twat on here sometimes, but is good to challenge preconceived notions of how things are or have to be, on SA. Some of my experiences have been very different to others as an older SB, so like to encourage old ladies, like myself. And really? Is it fantasy/exaggerating writing that there are several cases of even men in media, in past, married to gorgeous women, cheating with the ugly nanny, skanky prostitute? People have kinks or get tired of filet mignon every night, so want a cheap 99 cents burger, occasionally…and it isn’t always about looks, when cheating is done. Jacob brought up a good example…would many argue that Diana was more attractive than Camilla? Look up the lady Hugh Grant Cheated on Elizabeth Hurley with…and some of Tiger Woods’ ‘ladies’ were not even close to being as attractive as Elin…like I said, it is called, ‘strange’.

  326. Kms2014 says:

    Interesting experiences come with age sometimes…(; And am sorry, but some of the emails you get, on SA, don’t need embellishment..can be quite entertaining, hehe.

  327. Kms2014 says:

    Joalexis,

  328. Kms2014 says:

    It’s okay, Elaine…Josh isn’t happy with me because I accused him of being, JoJolexis 😉

  329. Josh says:

    @Elaine,

    “You know damn well KMS is not a fantasywriter!”

    I know that. But she likes to write exaggerated stuff outside of her personal experiences. 😉

  330. gtt_envy says:

    @Carmen who said:
    September 5, 2014 at 2:05 pm
    “Married men have wives to accept as they are -or have become”
    I wonder if playing in sugar makes married men less attracted to their wives. I mean once you spend time with a much more attractive woman, I would imagine your partner would seem even less attractive in comparison. I know there was some research that came out about that recently but I can’t recall the details.”

    For me NO, it makes sex with my wife that much better. Sugar sex has all of the pieces, but without the emotional intimacy that a real relationship has it is never as good imo. Granted my LTR is 30’s and very pretty. I might change my tune when she is 50.

    Sugar sex is just for the experience, something new, something fun, but BETTER? No, just different 😉

  331. Elaine says:

    @ Alexis

    “Anyway, no Elaine… I never said 30+ was old. I consider 25+ old”

    Well, frankly my dear……

    For me it is more important that my SDs and Pots seem to think differently! :-)
    You are not my target anyway, I would never fancy a -30 woman.
    For me it would come too close to my nieces ages, and the idea alone,…AAHHHRRGGGG!!

    And agree with KMS, our age saves us so much timewasting mails from fakes and flakes and John’s.

    Of course I am not always happy with my age, because my expiration date for sugar is approaching.
    But even if I would never say it has been an advantage, so far it has NOT been a disadvantage either!

  332. Elaine says:

    “As I acknowledged before you have a PhD in bizzare scenarios.”

    Sorry @Josh, but this is exactly why I don’t share my sugarstories here anymore!
    You know damn well KMS is not a fantasywriter!

    @Jacob

    Charles Windsor, exactly! The worldfamous example that came up in my mind!

    @ Eric

    Thanks for sharing this story as a counterweight.
    Not all SDs are only after sex, and not all SBs are only after money!

    I fell in love with my first, married, SD, and it was hard to let go, so I can very well relate to your feelings.
    Indeed it will fade.
    And what will remain, is a nice memory. :-)

  333. Kms2014 says:

    Dunno…had an SD whose wife was 5 years younger 😉 that is not the norm for arrangements, I guess, though. However, the other week I got an email from a ‘world famous doctor’ and his wife(so they say), and his early 20’s wife looking for another woman. This is why I keep my profile open–entertainment, hehe. I figured the wife was picking older ladies for a reason(so her husband wouldn’t replace her), but she said that age wasn’t a big deal for them and they just picked based on perceived chemistry….am not into ‘couples’..especially ones with women younger that my niece or closer in age to my offspring :-/

  334. Jacob says:

    Charles Windsor?

  335. Josh says:

    @Kms2014

    As I acknowledged beforen you have a PhD in bizzare scenarios. 😉

  336. Josh says:

    A tallish, 25 year-old belonging to the “Other” ethnicity. WTF! This woman apparently believes that as long as she is willing to spread her legs for the right arrangement, she does not have to put an effort into much.

    About Me

    Alluring Ambitious Boundless Brave Bright Calm Cheerful Comfortable Confident Cooperative Beautiful Caring Fun Easy going Enjoyable Courageous Decisive Delightful Detailed Determined Diligent Discreet Dynamic Eager Efficient Energetic Entertaining Fabulous Fair Friendly Funny Gentle Happy Harmonious Helpful Joyous Kind Kind-hearted Knowledgeable Level Likeable Lively Lovely Loving Mature Nice Peaceful Pleasant Productive Receptive Responsible Laid Back Loving Passionate Romantic Self-assured Silly Sincere Skillful Smiling Successful Thoughtful Trustworthy Unbiased Upbeat Warm Willing Wise Wonderful

  337. Kms2014 says:

    “Carmen says:
    September 5, 2014 at 2:05 pm
    “Married men have wives to accept as they are -or have become”
    I wonder if playing in sugar makes married men less attracted to their wives. I mean once you spend time with a much more attractive woman, I would imagine your partner would seem even less attractive in comparison. I know there was some research that came out about that recently but I can’t recall the details.”

    That is interesting…what if the man picks a woman for an SB who is older than his wife? That is why what was said earlier was kind of funny to me, regarding married men, hehe…I think looks do not matter as much for affairs. Have seen men who had gorgeous wives have affairs with women who were not nearly as attractive as their wife…it is a phenomenon called, ‘strange’. 😉

  338. Josh says:

    @Eric,

    Well love can’t be timed. Savor the time spent together amd move on amicably before anyone gets hurt trying to force fit what’s not meant to be.

    And keep it sugar forever. We want nice men like you to take care of other SBs too. 😉

  339. Josh says:

    @Alexis

    ““In another more gentile world young gentlemen to be were offered the best advice on sex when they were about 6 years old – ladies first…….”

    In relation to sex with women, that is some bad, bad advice right there.”

    As long as one keeps in mind that flyR goes from dumb to dumber to dumbest to dumbester you will not mind his post. Only if you try to make sense of what he writes, you will have too frequent WTF! moments.

    Some women here tend to like the BS he writes. 😉

  340. Eric says:

    I started seeing my first, and last, SB in Feb. of this year. She’s a grad student in engineering. Beauty and brains. We’ve had a fantastic relationship up until now.

    I wanted more from our relationship than just sex and wanted to treat her as more than a sex date. So we would meet once a week for coffee or to go running. I love spending time with her.

    Can you see where this is going?

    Last week I got a text from her, a note on texting is at the end, wherein she said she couldn’t see me any more. Long story short, she’d fallen in love with me. Unfortunately I’d fallen in love with her too. The good thing though is that she realized it and called it off before it getting in any deeper. She graduates in December so we both knew it was ending then anyway. I just wish, because I’m now in love with her, that we could have made it to Dec.

    The feelings will fade in time. I urge you not to get too emotionally attached. It’s not fun.

    Regarding texting, download a text app like TextPlus. Texts sent via TextPlus don’t show up on your phone bill and the app can be shut off so your phone doesn’t receive them until you sign back in.

    Regarding hiding money, most companies allow you to direct deposit to more than one bank account. Set up a separate account and use your work address as your address so any mail doesn’t go to your house.

  341. Alexis says:

    Hehe, look at the lifestyle expectations now. 😉

    There are no more ranges, just amounts… period.

  342. Kms2014 says:

    Age it cut offs are different for everyone. I don’t like having arrangements with anyone too much older than me…will not go above 50 or 55, at this point(unless, he is exceptional, personality wise and quite attractive). Why? Because I can, so why not? So, I can understand the men that think I am too old as well. It is what it is and there is someone for everyone on here. I just like to state this, when it is brought up, in case any over 30’s are reading (: If people on here think after 30 years old arrangement SB offers and good arrangement offers go away, then you are very mistaken. Of course, you are a niche, so you must market yourself as such…the good part about being an over 30 SB…you don’t have to deal with as many Johns or men seeking strictly hotel arrangements. Look at the positives and your strengths ((:

  343. Alexis says:

    “I know it works both ways but ladies seem to be less demanding about looks than most men I know.

    The key word is “seem” here.

  344. Alexis says:

    @Josh

    “Ouch!”

    Well, she was misquoting me, so I had to say it *again*.

  345. Carmen says:

    @Analog
    Interesting. I don’t mean to pry but do you think it’s improved your sex life with your wife at all? I know some people become swingers or change into open relationships to improve their sex lives (for both the husband and wife).

  346. Analog Kid says:

    @Carmen . I for one don’t feel that way. I actually appreciate my wife more since I started sugaring. In reality though …… this has zero to do with her and everything to do with ME. I simply need a variety of sexual encounters in my life at this point.

  347. Carmen says:

    “Married men have wives to accept as they are -or have become”
    I wonder if playing in sugar makes married men less attracted to their wives. I mean once you spend time with a much more attractive woman, I would imagine your partner would seem even less attractive in comparison. I know there was some research that came out about that recently but I can’t recall the details.

  348. gentle(man)soul says:

    Ahhh Bliss!! -I love women !! After we discussed world peace and the EBola crisis we had to engage in relaxation therapy .

    So ,what were we talking about ? Oh- Age ,or is it Old age ? There is something about skin turgor and firm subcutaneous fat that young girls have that 30 + yr olds don’t . I know it works both ways but ladies seem to be less demanding about looks than most men I know. Older women are entitled to rewarding relationships just as their young counterparts ,but each to his/her own taste . The dating pool just gets smaller the older an SB is.

    Sugar dating is about selecting a playmate to satisfy ones needs. Married men have wives to accept as they are -or have become . We can be extremely demanding when it comes to picking the former.

  349. Josh says:

    “Anyway, no Elaine… I never said 30+ was old. I consider 25+ old.”

    Ouch! 😉

  350. Jacob says:

    @Jocob,

    Moving to a larger city, yes. I see significant differences in the breadth and depth of the sugar baby pool just among the different cities that I happen to have properties in; bigger cities with more colleges definitely have more Hot+Fun SB’s.

    As for having your own “uterus-related” program, well it would be counter-productive unless you mean it sincerely, as it’s just another level of gating that throws out a portion of Hot+Fun Women. OTOH, if you have a large pool to choose from, and don’t wish to waste too much time before narrowing down to a candidate, pick and choose whatever filter that fits your interest, short term or long term.

  351. Alexis says:

    I was thinking that. I didn’t cuss, but maybe the pro reference hit it.

  352. Jacob says:

    i.e. Sever software response, automatic.

  353. Jacob says:

    @Alexis,
    May have been due to some “trigger word” being uttered in the post.

  354. Alexis says:

    Oh it’s there now but says “your comment is awaiting moderation”. Oops that’s new.

    Maybe I better run to the corner. lol

  355. Alexis says:

    Oh wow, I just typed out a big thing on here talking about a recent experience with a pot, but I guess I must have broken some type of rule because it seems to have vanished (deleted?). I didn’t mention name or acct # or anything, hmmm oh well oops.

    In that case I apologize to the admin/mod for breaking whatever rule it was I broke. (This is a sincere apology, no sarcasm.)

    Anyway, no Elaine… I never said 30+ was old. I consider 25+ old. That’s just MY viewpoint though. The consensus seems to be 30+. I, myself, don’t deal with any woman over about 23. There could be exceptions if the girl is particularly hot AND truly sweet; otherwise, no.

  356. Josh says:

    Jacob

    “Hot+fun women are everywhere”

    Maybe I need to move to a larger city or come up with a uterus-related scheme. 😉

  357. Elaine says:

    @Josh

    Few.
    But there are.

    And she is often given example because she is exceptional.
    I use her as a counterpart to the statement that only young women
    (-30, really!?) are beautiful and desirable.

    There is a lot of 40+ and 50+ gorgious women!
    Age is just a number, that is what I am trying to state here.

  358. Jacob says:

    I just screen out the pro’s and other undesirable counter-parties, and focus my effort on the desirable ones. Hot+fun women are everywhere :-)

  359. Jacob says:

    Potential SB telling me she is being hit on by wannabe John’s frequently. I have also received quite a few contacts from wannabe pro’s. I have a more nuanced view on this: There is self-selection bias in those data.

    The wannabe pro’s and wannabe John’s have high turn-over rate, so they are on the constant search for new counter party, so each of them is initiating much more contacts than other members on average. Since there are hundreds if not thousands of potential SB’s in my area, the fact that only a dozen or two likely pro’s have initiated contact with me in the past couple months is indicative that the ratio is not very high. Some others I thought might be, but turned out to be just legit college students facing legit financial needs and putting up a “b*tch shield” like typical pretty young girls do all the time.

  360. Josh says:

    @Elaine

    “Christy Brinkley is 60, and hell, she can!”

    This is an oft-repeated example given here. Even if a woman “looks” like 20-something, is she as much fun. If she is, then more power to her.

    By the way, What percentage of women age like Christy?

  361. Elaine says:

    @Alexis

    For me a 40+ SB is “older”

    C’mon, 30+ = old !?!?
    You must be really very, very young yourself, if you think that.
    For me 30+ is young, and I am quite sure my 41/52y. old SDs think the same.

    It is the same as those articles in fashion magazines; “Can you still wear a bimini when you are over 40? ”

    Some yes, some no.
    But the same counts for some 20+
    Christy Brinkley is 60, and hell, she can!

  362. Josh says:

    I would rather have a hot, fun 40, 30- AND 20-something–one after the other–as hot+fun women are not easy to come by. 😉

    I am likely biased.

  363. NC Gent says:

    To me, an older SB is 40+. I would rather have a hot 30-something than a hot 20-something though, so I am likely biased.

  364. Josh says:

    Well there are some 19 year-olds who look like 40. Exception apply.

  365. Alexis says:

    Ok, so two agree to 30, thanks.

    Either women look awful for their ages or a lot on here are dropping some years. I’ve come to that conclusion. I guess it makes sense though since the younger you are, the more profit available.

    As for cut-off point of 24? I don’t know about that. I saw a 24-year old girl several days ago who appeared to be somewhere in her early 40s. I guess (trying to give the girl the benefit of the doubt here) she could have had an illness or a drug-problem though.

  366. Josh says:

    Now the big BUT.

    From filtering point of view, putting 28 or above as a cutoff point g for SB searches gives you a wildly unpredictable result set.

    A woman posting her age as 28 year-old could be anywhere from 28-45. Those kinds of women don’t show up when you cut it off at 25-27.

    Cutoff point of 24 gives you a truly “young” ass. 😉

  367. gentle(man)soul says:

    @KMS

    Right now I am in a sex only mode K. I make it clear up front what I am capable of doing . I will fulfil my side of the agreement and I expect her to as well . It’s as simple as that.

    Got to go -my sex Goddess is coming for a 2 hour romp !

    What is old for an SB ? over 30.

  368. Josh says:

    In some cultures 25 is far gone.

    I don’t think that we using it as the cutoff point here in the US yet. It’s more likely 30+

  369. Alexis says:

    So if anyone wants to chime in on this, I would appreciate it:

    When a woman (SB) on here states that she’s an “older SB”, does that mean she’s…

    Over 25?
    Over 30?
    Over 40?

    My definition of an “older” SB is any woman over 25, but I want to see if my definition matches everyone else’s usage, thanks.

  370. Alexis says:

    “I was not intending to refer to the “end” but rather only the beginning exploration, titillation.”

    Oh you meant 5 min after the panties hit the floor. A misunderstanding occurred as your grammar was unclear.

    Ok, then in that case both shouldn’t really be worried about by a SD/SM, IMHO. Again, that’s what the money is for, stress-relief. Just have a regular relationship and save yourself the cash if you’re going to have to juggle all that. Again, my opinions there.

    “In another more gentile world young gentlemen to be were offered the best advice on sex when they were about 6 years old – ladies first…….”

    In relation to sex with women, that is some bad, bad advice right there.

  371. Kms2014 says:

    “s1959 says:
    September 5, 2014 at 9:03 am
    Addendum: I think it mostly comes down to finding and getting involved with nice people, and treating them nicely. It’s not rocket science.”

    Couldn’t agree more…

  372. flyR says:

    @Alexis “Oh and really lol… it’s more like 20 min”

    I was not intending to refer to the “end” but rather only the beginning exploration, titillation.

    In another more gentile world young gentlemen to be were offered the best advice on sex when they were about 6 years old – ladies first…….

  373. s1959 says:

    Addendum: I think it mostly comes down to finding and getting involved with nice people, and treating them nicely. It’s not rocket science.

  374. Kms2014 says:

    Soulman said,

    “I’m married and currently involved in (2) SB relationships. Both are simple p4p endeavors that both parties are completely happy with. Although I suspect one is a pro, it doesn’t bother me in the least. If she is …… she hides it beautifully. My question would be how to ease out of them diplomatically as I’m really only interested in short term encounters. For me …. once the thrill of the newness rubs off ……. it’s time to go. ”

    A common problem Analog. Here’s where being married helps . You tell them your wife is suspicious and is monitoring your time and money ,so you have to back off “for now” to protect them from drama (remember NSA) . They will be bummed to lose you (your money) but will be grateful they missed the bullet,and that you care enough not to get them involved in a messy situation. Also,”for now” leaves the door open for re engagement and renegotiation.”

    But soulman also said….

    “8)SDs expect consistency and reliability”

    So, you do not like lies and want your SB to be honest and reliable….? That is fair, but why I picked on you is because you said this the other day…If you do not want lies and deceit from your SB, then do not do it yourself. It sounds like these girls were not planning on scamming you, but you just want short term encounters…instead of lying about your wife finding out, perhaps, let them know ahead of time that you seek short-term. Or, at least part ways with them and give them a months worth of allowance ahead of your exit, so they can find someone/something else.

    Soulman said,

    “7)most SDs like women and respect them”
    “9)SDs want more from their SBs than just sex”

    “To wit; SB fortunes rise and fall. Often a better deal fades or flakes and you find yourself sexless in Sugarland . So you can go back to laid off SB and ask if she would like to get together for a bump and grind . But ! You can’t afford as much because of the SO, so maybe 1/2 X will work ? My experience has been the SB will jump at the chance to get back on the gravy train at a lower price . You have already set the stage for exit right again. Also ,if you desire a new addition to the stable the SO excuse works well to cut back on SB A to allow time for SB B,C,etc.”

    Me tinks maybe, perhaps, it is interesting that a man who respects women so much refers to them as stable horses to be rotated and replaced constantly, hehe 😉 The gravy train reference is a very old one, but funny, though.

    Soulman said…

    S”2)PTP: Why can’t you get it through your (thick?) heads that a) many (or most )SBs will bolt or under perform if given a large sum of money up front.I think Josh addressed this earlier. A SB I saw for 3 months made an arrangement for 4 visits/month for a set amount . I tried it one month and paid in full, and got 2 visits. There was always some excuse not to meet .KMS said she spent $300 on her pet at the Vet,so what is the big deal ? Lack of respect and commitment to the arrangement is what is the deal .”

    Ironic, that the vet comparison was made earlier by you, then….what I meant was that $300 isn’t all that much, in the grand scheme of things, and I don’t think you should have held a grudge or tried to ‘get that back’ later on from her, with a reduced priced gravey train bargain deal.

    Finished most of my work early today, so lucky for you (: I like to debate various viewpoints that make people think about their actions…if that is wrong, then I don’t wanna be right.

  375. s1959 says:

    I’m on my 4th arrangement and all of them have been a set monthly allowance, along with gifts and extra help when I can. None of the 4 SBs involved ever flaked or disappeared after getting the allowance.

    We meet differing numbers of times each month, mostly due to my ever-varying work schedule. Some months it might only be once for a quick lunch, sometimes it’s every week and includes a weekend traveling someplace fun. I like keeping to the set allowance no matter how often we meet, and every indication is that also works well for my SB. It seems to all even out in the end.

    Maybe I’m just exceedingly lucky. Or maybe I’ve just learned to pick good SBs. I did meet a few pieces of work when I first dipped my toe in the sugar bowl, but luckily never got too involved with any of them.

  376. Fantasy says:

    @Josh
    Panties don’t hit the floor? I’m doing it wrong! 😉

  377. Alexis says:

    Oh and really lol… it’s more like 20 min. 😉

  378. Alexis says:

    “I’m also a great believer that how the relationship goes between 5 minutes before the panties hit the floor until 5 minutes after has a permanent imprint.”

    Well it’s more about the 5 minutes after with women, BUT that’s only for a normal relationship. I don’t believe a SD/SM should have to be stressed to worry about these things. That’s the point of the cash… stress-relief. At least that’s my viewpoint.

  379. Alexis says:

    @Josh

    Games that only work on women who are naive, trusting, or desperate. 😉
    ie the emotional “stuff”

    Unfortunately though, there are a lot of women like that in my region. Hmmm, maybe I should say fortunately since it makes it easier to get these losers off of my back.

  380. flyR says:

    RE How do you get good sex out of someone

    Pick well, be deserving …….. understand if the issue is attitude, knowledge, trust or intent

    Not unusual to have a new SB not really sure it is ok to have a great orgasm in this relationship

    – apologies for all the posts, it’s a beautiful Friday am and enjoying extended coffee in the sun…..

  381. Josh says:

    I don’t know how common it is to let the panties “hit the floor.” Most girls I meet put theirs on some surface other than the floor. Maybe I am meeting the prudes and/or clean freaks, but who knows. 😉

  382. Josh says:

    I’m also a great believer that how the relationship goes between 5 minutes before the panties hit the floor until 5 minutes after has a permanent imprint.”

    Whatever the fuck that means. Didn’t take him long. He went backB to dumb and dumber posts.

  383. Josh says:

    @Alexis

    I am curious to know what kind of promises and emotional games are working for these scamming men.

    The reason I ask is that the women I am meeting are smart enough to not let that happen. They’re much too on the uptight side. 😉

  384. Alexis says:

    @Josh

    Respectfully, I’m really not even seeing any expensive props; hence, the scams not working on me, but I guess for women who are more trusting/desperate the promises and emotional games these guys are playing will work.

  385. flyR says:

    “How do you get good sex out of someone? They’re either good or they aren’t. Communication about likes and desires helps but it doesn’t work miracles.

    “I would like you to ______”
    “Oh, I don’t do that.”

    “I would like you to stop laying there like a log.”
    “You mean I have to do something?”

    Even men who are amazing have these problems. It baffles me still.”

    Flyer’s three step program

    a) pick partners who are good at sharing, learning and giving (this eliminates 99% of attorneys)

    b) find a gentle way of communicating the positive, a gentle tap on the head, back or similar that communicates your reaction to what he is doing. Understand that he is working in a dark, changing world. The tap method is approved by miss manners as it never requires you to speak with your mouth full

    c) It’s ok to communicate let’s try something different or something new or to say please remember what you did it was wonderful……

    Consider that some of the problem might be your underlying discomfort with the arrangement as it by definition probably means being with someone you would not be intimate with IRL. That’s no excuse for accepting less that spectacular sex.

    If the arrangement is all about money then the sex may be all about him…… Hopefully that’s not in play as it misses the vast potential of the sugar bowl.

    Of course it works two ways……….
    “The reason I am seeking nonsexual fun is that more women have sexual hangups than then they like to acknowledge AND even more women suck in bed. On top of that, they have a death wish out to not let the older guy “take advantage of them.””

    It’s different for everyone but one of the things that helps me is to be genuine from the beginning and to try to look under the profile and initial exchange and see what’s there and if it is a good match.

    I’m also a great believer that how the relationship goes between 5 minutes before the panties hit the floor until 5 minutes after has a permanent imprint.

  386. Josh says:

    @Alexis

    That is true, but the SD needs relatively expensive props to pull his scam off. The SBs don’t.

  387. Kms2014 says:

    Soulman…it was merely a suggestion to try and appeal to the better nature of a human and higher level of an arrangement…You must have not read the email sent to me by a gentleman, on SA, that I posted above. You are taking all the negative parts and not focusing on the positive. I am an idealist and not angry at all. In fact, as another poster mentioned yesterday, all this scamming and pay for play talk just makes me thankful for my experiences in past arrangements even more so. Cannot say what is normal or not for everyone else because I do not do p4p. I am not angry, but makes me sad to read what you
    wrote the other day. It just seemed so opportunistic and dodgy. If your SB’s are bolting after their allowances paid upfront, then if am sorry, but this has not been the case with my arrangements or the very few women I know personally, who are involved in arrangements.

  388. Alexis says:

    On the other side of the token we have:

    SDs who don’t have any money and are just on here trying to see what and how much they can get for free.

  389. Fantasy says:

    “I am one SD of vast experience sharing my experience openly so that you will know what real SDs are thinking. I don’t tell you what you want to hear so that you will like me.”

    Thank you to every SD who does this. That’s why I read and I appreciate the insight. I don’t want sunshine blown up my skirt. 😉

  390. Josh says:

    I gotta give it to the guy. When flyR takes a break from posting dumb and dumber, he does post some interesting shit.

  391. flyR says:

    Stuff like this gives SB’s a bad name

    This is the full extent of “what I am looking for”

    someone who will spend a lot of money on me and give me money without having to spend a lot of time together. i have a daughter to raise.

  392. Josh says:

    A different one (not a fatty) whom I contacted responded with something related to building sexual tension with some kind of toy gun fight. Interesting, but I am not into games AND the fun I require has to be non sexual.

    The reason I am seeking nonsexual fun is that more women have sexual hangups than then they like to acknowledge AND even more women suck in bed. On top of that, they have a death wish out to not let the older guy “take advantage of them.”

    So rearranging with a woman only in the hope od good sex is a shot in the dark.

    Exploring the fun non sexual side of them helps get around their hangups, and ensures that in the event they eventually sucked in bed, at least there was some fun to be had in the process. And who knows…it may just be that their nonsexual fun-ability is equal or better than the sexual ability.

  393. gentle(man)soul says:

    I sugar for 2 reasons:(this is list day LOL)
    1)to get a lover with no muss or fuss (NSA)
    2)to get a 20 + yr old lover
    I suspect most guys are in the same boat unless you want to spread your gene pool around .

    RE: the above :
    1)married -self explanatory. Trying to live with one person for decades is difficult . Why do it ? Because when we get married we are still in the throes of lust and optimistic. Why stay married ? Money,children,society,etc

    2)PTP: Why can’t you get it through your (thick?) heads that a) many (or most )SBs will bolt or under perform if given a large sum of money up front.I think Josh addressed this earlier. A SB I saw for 3 months made an arrangement for 4 visits/month for a set amount . I tried it one month and paid in full, and got 2 visits. There was always some excuse not to meet .KMS said she spent $300 on her pet at the Vet,so what is the big deal ? Lack of respect and commitment to the arrangement is what is the deal .
    3)PTP is also financially better for some guys who have to make their cash flow work ,especially if an SO is monitoring it .
    4)SBs are not entitled to the same rights and obligations as an SO.
    5)and 6) self explanatory. You are not dating and falling in love. It is initially a business arrangement.
    7)really !
    8)The # 1 reason arrangements break down for the SD. Some SBs just can not be reliable. They get a pocket full of $$ and forget that they made a deal.
    9)Sex is mandatory but most of us want a sweet ,smart ,loving ,and interesting girl to spend our time with –really !No Lie !

  394. gentle(man)soul says:

    @KMS and Jayne

    Gosh -Gee , you sound like angry women who have been burned by one (or more) vituperous men–mostly married ones .

    Why are you here (on the blog -rhetorically speaking )?

    I assume to gather information about the sugar world ? But maybe to vent about your misfortunes ? IDK .

    I am one SD of vast experience sharing my experience openly so that you will know what real SDs are thinking . I don’t tell you what you want to hear so that you will like me . Here are some truisms :

    1)most SDs are married
    2)many pay by the visit (PTP)
    3)PTP can be a committed monthly amount and does not equate to prostitution(always)
    4)SBs are not SOs
    5)SBs are selling something to a buyers market(personality,peace,love,calm,romance,etc)
    6)Sugar life is a marketplace-
    7)most SDs like women and respect them
    8)SDs expect consistency and reliability
    9)SDs want more from their SBs than just sex
    to name a few
    to name a few

  395. Fantasy says:

    How do you get good sex out of someone? They’re either good or they aren’t. Communication about likes and desires helps but it doesn’t work miracles.

    “I would like you to ______”
    “Oh, I don’t do that.”

    “I would like you to stop laying there like a log.”
    “You mean I have to do something?”

    Even men who are amazing have these problems. It baffles me still.

  396. flyR says:

    @KMS ” I am not a schedule type person, though, in regards to relationships, though…find it too constraining and not very spontaneous, which is part of the fun (((:”

    The solution, as with most pleasurable things, is to have both. I like the idea of our evening to look forward to on a semi schedule, but also spontaneous opportunities as the occasion arises. The schedule helps me to avoid meetings which tend to run long or are far from where we will meet.

    Sounds like your out of town SD was something that worked very well for you . For the SD it’s a wonderful reward for having to put up with the TSA shouters and gropers and oversold airlines with seats suitable only for midgets.

  397. Alexis says:

    “I guess that’s how many women are raised to believe, that is, it’s the guys job to tell them if they are fun person or not. It’s a guys job to get good sex out of them. Yada yada yada.”

    Is that why men keep saying the words to me “Let me be the judge of that.”… which BTW is getting the hell on my nerves lol. I judged it already FGS. I don’t need you to judge it for me.

  398. Alexis says:

    “When you give up That much of yourself for a wad of cash, -you’re own identity, your own desires, your own needs.. That makes you a prostitute.”

    The new definition for prostitution cited from The American Encyclopedia of Feminism.

    The actual definition from The Oxford Dictionary:

    pros·ti·tu·tion
    prästəˈt(y)o͞oSHən/
    noun
    noun: prostitution

    the practice or occupation of engaging in sexual activity with someone for payment.

  399. Josh says:

    @Fantasy

    “I’m curious, did the fatty figure out how she’s fun?”

    Not really. I changed the subject and now she is trying to meet so that the guy can figure it out for him.

    I guess that’s how many women are raised to believe, that is, it’s the guys job to tell them if they are fun person or not. It’s a guys job to get good sex out of them. Yada yada yada.

  400. Kms2014 says:

    Hmm, I never looked at it that way, but that is probably true…

  401. Fantasy says:

    I don’t even think it comes down to that most times. I’m sure some SBs feel that way but I think it is more a sense of entitlement. They want to get the maximum amount they can for their time because they feel they are worth it. In their minds, skipping a meet nets them more money per meet with a monthly allowance.

  402. Kms2014 says:

    I guess it comes down to if you enjoy spending time with your SD or not, and if the sex is pleasurable with him, if is is a sexual arrangement…Or, at least look forward to seeing him–even a little. If you dread seeing your SD more than a trip to the dentist or yearly gynecological exam, and dislike sex with him, then…well, don’t know what to say. That sounds kind of sad, really, doesn’t it? For both parties involved….

  403. Fantasy says:

    @Josh
    I agree with KMS. With a monthly allowance I would try to meet more often as I feel he’s paying for the month not X amount of meets per month. The security he provides with a monthly arrangement is better than pay per meet.

    Unfortunately, I’m sure it’s viewed much different than that with SBs in general. Based on RSDs information many SBs feel it is okay to meet less than the defined amount of meets.

    I’m curious, did the fatty figure out how she’s fun?

  404. Kms2014 says:

    Really, Josh? That is kind of disappointing to read…

    @flyr…that is very true. Most recent out of town SD arrangement was with a man who would come to my town occasionally. Some months, he might be here every two weeks, and other times, maybe, once a month. If he was staying for three or four days, then I would try to see him as much as I could that week, since we never knew when he might be back. Another arrangement I had last year…he lived in my city and we would meet 3 or 4 times a week, sometimes. One day might be just dinner or lunch, then another day we might go out for the evening. Then, if we were both busy the next week, we might not see each other. It was different every week and wasn’t a schedule, really. If we are speaking of the per meet, meets including sex meeting meet ;-p, then I can understand men liking their sex schedule to be kept on time, though 😉 even many married men and women have their ‘sex day’, right? Hehe, Sunday, after lunch, at 3:00 p.m. is sex day. I am not a schedule type person, though, in regards to relationships, though…find it too constraining and not very spontaneous, which is part of the fun (((:

  405. Josh says:

    Most men I know, who don’t consider SBs as prostitutes, will be more than willing to give a monthly allowance and not have to think about it until the next month cones around.

    The partial payments have unfortunately been made necessary because almost 100% lose the money after they pay it upfront. I have given the reasons above in my answers to @Fantasy on September 4, 2014 at 4:35 pm.

  406. Josh says:

    @Kms2014

    I have yet to meet an SB who will meet an extra time in a month, let alone a week, without expecting anything out of it.

    But what do I know right? 😉

  407. flyR says:

    @KMS – One of the values of the blog is that it provides exposure to how others view and handle these relationships. As long as everyone goes home happy it’s probably fine.

    Sadly there are too many folks who believe that their way is the only way. I think it often overlooks a lot of opportunities to both pick the best match and obtain the best results.

  408. Kms2014 says:

    My apologies…I meant to say, ‘so what if it were once a week, once every two weeks, twice a week…five times a week, for $4,000? That is up to the two people involved, but personally, think it is silly to write out terms of an arrangement like like. Am very laid back person, though, so guess this works for many.

  409. Kms2014 says:

    I love nerds that are tall and quirky cute, by the way…not the ones who think making the perfect woman is still possible in robotics class.

  410. Kms2014 says:

    @Analog, so what if it were once or twice a week, with an allowance of $4,000 a month? That is all relative to the gentlman, his net worth/ income and what he thinks is fair to offer, and what both parties agree to. I really don’t see how that amount is preposterous? To be honest, think it is silly to talk terms like, 1.526 meets per week, for three to six hour intervals(if you are using as a guideline for a new SB, then guess I can understand that, though). In my opinion, if you really like your SD, then you should see him as often as you are able within. However, with women whose SD’s live out of town the ‘X’ times per meet, per week for $xxxx amount, really does not make sense, anyways.

    I’m an older SB, so many think it is preposterous that I even get an allowance(or, that many of my past SDs have not been the stereotypical much older man, although, there is nothing wrong with that)…and personally, do not feel $4,000 is preposterous, in the least, hehe…but to each his own and perhaps I go with some of those quality nerds you speak so highly of.

  411. Fantasy says:

    @Analog Kid
    RSDs statement was: “Then monthly allowance based on how often we meet (e.g. $4K/mo for twice a week)”

    He’s offering slightly less than his Pay per Meet amount of $500. 8 meets per month at $500 each is $4k. Approximately every third month has 10 meets for $400 each to make $4k.

  412. Josh says:

    Oh for Chrissake, flyR us out with his duh, dumb, dumber, dumbest, dumbester all at once. :(

  413. Josh says:

    Aha the Jayne of the oldest trade is in the house. Take a bow one and all. 😉

  414. flyR says:

    @Jayne OAT
    The one thing you know about a married man who is not in an open relationship is that he is skilled at deception (or at least makes an attempt).

    Your observation that there are a lot more regular men on the site is a good one (works both ways) .

  415. flyR says:

    Put another way

    What’s the most important thing in your life, that which you need the most…….. a new car, rent money, trip to tahiti or paris , front row tickets to the concert of the decade………… no it’s you next breath of air…. without it you die. But you anticipate that the air will be there , free for you in abundant quantities – without scarcity there is no value.

    At a more basic level ……. you have a new dog whom you want to train to do tricks. Do you give him all the cookies and then ask him to perform or do you reward him for performance with occasional cookies just to show you appriciate him . …

  416. Elaine says:

    @ Flyr

    This is really a very good one! :-)

    “I need to be honest with you, while I love the extravagant dinners and gifts, they only remind me that there are things I need so much more . And I would rather be at home having a simple healthy dinner, knowing I will be having you for dessert.”

  417. Jayne of all Trades says:

    Respect yourself, then maybe men would too.
    Be Brave & stand your ground, the Business here is risky.

    It works for me, and so does Honesty.
    I keep high expectations too, men like quality women, especially quality men.
    I have my own business, arrangements here are anything but a “Job”

    I also beg to differ, yeah sure- there are pigs here like any other place
    BUT I meet more regular guys than anything.. Real Gentlemen.
    Don’t let these guys lie to you!! “The Law of Attraction”
    Of course those bozos talk to other SDs who are Just like them-selves.
    Not everyone even wants sex, though it’s nice sure! Just like money is nice.
    Some just want to be in nice company, go on trips with them ect. ect.
    Don’t feel like you are obligated to do anything you don’t want to,
    You set the terms of “relationship” when you talk and meet each-other,
    make sure you stand your ground though.
    Be blunt, men like it when you are up-front.

    Dealing with Married men is very risky.
    They usually give out more but there are reasons for it.
    There’s just so much to deal with when they are sneaking around.
    You know what a lot of men with such power & wealth would do Not to get caught, just Think to yourself about that a little bit 😉
    // I don’t recommend being too private about arrangements with Married SDs,
    Make sure you let someone know before you go anywhere with them.
    – For your own good. Men can be low and dirty & they will if you let them.

  418. Jayne of all Trades says:

    lol, it’s crazy to assume women on here are broke or even want money.

    I just want a clean man who can hold his own weight with a sexual appetite.
    I maybe a Sugar Baby but your terms are obviously different from my terms of a “Mutually Beneficial Relationship” // I’m normally a SM, it’s nice not being the only one fucked for once when you go out of your way for a man.

    When you give up That much of yourself for a wad of cash, -you’re own identity, your own desires, your own needs.. That makes you a prostitute.

  419. flyR says:

    Put another way

    What’s the most important thing in your life, that which you need the most…….. a new car, rent money, trip to tahiti or paris , front row tickets to the concert of the decade………… no it’s you next breath of air…. without it you die. But you anticipate that the air will be there , free for you in abundant quantities – without scarcity there is no value.

    At a more basic level ……. you have a new dog whom you want to train to do tricks. Do you give him all the cookies and then ask him to perform tricks or do you reward him…

  420. flyR says:

    “@sexyrockstar
    Smart girl :) I’d love tips on getting my sugar in order lol. I do have a super sweet SD but he is def not giving me 5k a month. That would be nice. I’m not the best negotiator so I haven’t had the “allowance” talk yet but I think it’s about time.”

    It’s too late………………. you had the discussion silence speaks

  421. Analog Kid says:

    @RSD ……… I gotta tell you …… your ENTIRE approach flies right in the face of what mine is:
    * You are paying a SB just to show up on a 1st date. Preposterous
    * You actually spell out and discuss money prior to meeting a POT. Really?
    * You pay a monthly allowance …. in an amount that is also,
    yeah you guessed it …..preposterous

    So let me get this straight …… you pay an excessive monthly allowance ($4K for 2 meets per month) JUST so you can NOT FEEL GUILTY when they “rinse” you and you can dump them with a clear conscience?

    You really sound like the Google/Facebook nerds I hear about in SF that have trouble get laid with $10 million in the bank.

  422. flyR says:

    “@All the SBs-What would you do if you were dating someone who was willing to buy you clothes, take you out to dinner, take you on trips, but never give you an allowance? ”

    Analyze – Why

    a – ego he wants to pretend this is conventional relationship

    b – cheap , gifts are cheaper than sugar

    c- control

    d. appearances – he wants to be seen with a well dressed you

    I think a lot of SB get into this position as a result of the way they word their profiles. It’s OK to say you are looking for a sponsor to help you through school, get started in a business, get settled, escape from a crashed relationship. Gofundme with benefits- guaranteed return on your investment.

    The conversion from a false start with giftdaddy has only a modest probability of success. Honesty is probably the best approach but with some ego boosting along the way. “I need to be honest with you, while I love the extravagant dinners and gifts they only remind me that there are things I need so much more . And I would rather be at home having a simple healthy dinner, knowing I will be having you for dessert .

    No guarantees but it might work. My guess is that you need to find a new SD

  423. Kms2014 says:

    gentle(man)soul says:
    September 4, 2014 at 1:42 pm
    @KMS

    ” instead of being generous, and fair, you offer her half of a past agreed amount, just because you can?”

    Hmmm -I think many of you fair ladies here have your heads in the blogosphere. Most Gents I have talked and blogged with over the years are not on Sugar sites trying to find “THE ONE” to settle down with forever in extramarital bliss. I have had one cherished girl for 1 1/4 yrs and I now am seeing no less than 3 at a time . I haven’t found that great SB who knocks my socks off and makes me want to take care of her every need . Think of IRL dating . You don’t settle down with the first girl you meet and marry her do you ? You date around for awhile until you find that one Well ,Sugar dating works that way too. The SB I spoke of had “borrowed” $300 and flaked numerous times . I discounted her for future visits to regain prepaid allowance. No –she is not a cherished Keeper so to speak .All SBs (and SDs ) are not the same .”

    @soulman, errmm, well, think I am pretty down to earth…how did you equate my suggesting that perhaps, maybe, oh I dunno, my suggesting you try and help your SBs achieve their goals(if they have any, as in mentor her…or even help her start a better website, if she is an escort, lol!), or at least put her in a little better financial position(or horse stable) than when you found them to begin with, to finding ‘the one’. I know you are married, so you did not understand what I was trying to convey to you. Do you think helping your SB’s more than ‘loaning’ a few hundred dollars, in an ‘unrequited’ allowance advance(which, I guess you considered a loan, when she did not want to see you at the stable gravy train, after the fact) is like finding the one? That is interesting….and a few hundred bucks? I threw that down at the vet today. Would hate to know what your regular ‘gifting’ rate is 😉 no…please don’t tell me. Your posts make me sad enough ):

    I asked the gentleman’s permission if I could post his email to me, from a few months ago. This is the one I referenced from the other day. Think it is a nice sentiment for certain SDs who are are looking for more than the one dimensional blogsphere 😉

    “This member has granted you permission to view their private photos. i understand what you are describing but after i am completed with the woman i want that woman to be financially stable i do not want her to be forced to go searching for another man because she doesn’t have the funds to survive while i go on my merry way. imagine a man my age taking advantage of a woman in her twenties that way. what kind of a man would i be? i am already bad enough that i date younger women. so to appease my conscience i engage in a comprehensive relationship that benefits the woman more than it benefits me. training a young woman to become wealthy and investing in her is very difficult and time consuming. but in the end if she sticks with it, she enters her old age a confident and successful woman not needing a sugar daddy to support her, she supports herself in the manner she desires.”

  424. flyR says:

    “”BTW, look out for all those chubby girls Josh, they have spent their lives going to romantic comedies (alone), secretly watching Disney movies on their DVDs over and over again, and reading cheesy bestselling young adult novels even though they are 25 years old.””

    OTH others have spent their time focused on and perfecting certain skills

  425. Fantasy says:

    “What it is, is that at my age and income it is pretty hard to reinvent myself.”

    I’m not sure why she entered the arrangement to begin with when she knew she wanted something monetary. I think her arrangement is fine, but it’s not fine for her. She expressed that.

  426. Fantasy says:

    @Josh
    She expressed what her priority was and that she couldn’t find the means to get it herself. I was simply agreeing with her assessment of her abilities. 😉

  427. Josh says:

    @Fantasy

    “Your priority is reinventing yourself. It seems rather simple. You’re not satisfied with your arrangement, so find one you are satisfied with. Some SDs would rather buy gifts, vacations, and pay bills than give money. Some SBs even prefer that.”

    Hahaha! This is EXACTLY why I don’t ask SBs for any “advice”. 😉

  428. RSD says:

    @Josh: yes i’m in a very large metropolitan area

    @Carmen, I bring up the allowance topic super early because I don’t like talking about money and having a relationship that centers on money talk, so if I get the money talk out of the way I can enjoy the SB and she doesn’t need to worry or think about money. All we have to concentrate on then is spending enjoyable time. Of course, life is never so simple…

  429. Fantasy says:

    @SouthernSB
    Your priority is reinventing yourself. It seems rather simple. You’re not satisfied with your arrangement, so find one you are satisfied with. Some SDs would rather buy gifts, vacations, and pay bills than give money. Some SBs even prefer that.

  430. Carmen says:

    I don’t want to sabatoge anything. But my SD knows exactly when and how often we can see each other- a compromise between my availability and his. I always keep my word and I know he really likes me and wants to keep seeing me regularly. It would be nice for me to have the same in return- getting an agreed upon allowance that I know when to expect.

  431. Carmen says:

    @RSD
    I really like your upfront approach to allowance. I think SB’s feel uncomfortable bringing that up because we don’t want to seem greedy or like we are only into you because of the allowance-even though the allowance is really important to us.

  432. Josh says:

    @RSD

    You may have mentioned it before. Are you in a big city?

  433. RSD says:

    I’m so up front about allowance. My first message, which is typically long and detailed, talks about exact allowance amounts. Perhaps that has a lot to do with why almost everyone is interested.

  434. Alexis says:

    @Carmen
    Oh ok, math seems a little better now. You must be pretty smart to keep your bills that low…. good for you.

    Woops or excuse me, you might work too so that 25% might not be covering your bills in their entirety.

    I just graduated last year. I’m so glad I don’t have loans to pay off. I see that a lot on this site and just about everywhere I go. So grateful I escaped that whole mess.

  435. Josh says:

    @Carmen

    “@sexyrockstar
    Smart girl :) I’d love tips on getting my sugar in order lol. I do have a super sweet SD but he is def not giving me 5k a month. That would be nice. I’m not the best negotiator so I haven’t had the “allowance” talk yet but I think it’s about time. But I hate brining up $$ ugh”

    Gulp…another humming along arranegment is about to be sabotaged because girlfriend egged her on. 😉

  436. Josh says:

    Come to think of it, when the whole region is obese, the chubby is new anorexic. 😉

  437. Carmen says:

    Well for me it’s actually more like 15% goes to clothes, lingera, makeup, jewelry, shoes, hair, nails and all the others things I do to look my best. 60% goes to savings. And 25% goes to bills- mainly paying off my student loans at a faster rate. So I guess the breakdown isn’t exactly the same but the point was that I’m saving and investing my money. I even upped my 401k contribution rate which I’m super happy about. Now if only I knew more about investing my money in stocks and such.

  438. Josh says:

    “BTW, look out for all those chubby girls Josh, they have spent their lives going to romantic comedies (alone), secretly watching Disney movies on their DVDs over and over again, and reading cheesy bestselling young adult novels even though they are 25 years old.”

    Hmm, is that true or just a stereotype?

  439. SouthernSB says:

    @Fantasy-What it is, is that at my age and income it is pretty hard to reinvent myself.

  440. Alexis says:

    The math on that just isn’t working for me. Half goes to bills? That’s a lot of bills. Then you have 25% going for a dress? Wow, must be some dress. Then all a person would manage to do is save another 25% which would theoretically be enough for only 1 dress each month? Yikes, not a very good savings plan!

  441. SouthernSB says:

    @Josh-Did I say I wasn’t putting out? I’m a grown woman who is use to having grown people’s relationships, I thought it would go without saying that I am putting out. I am the same age as the average SD and he is 20 years older than I am. Believe me Josh, I’m not like that disaster older woman you met, I am totally aware that “Prince Charming” isn’t going to sweep me off my feet and take me away from all of this (whatever the hell “this” is).
    BTW, look out for all those chubby girls Josh, they have spent their lives going to romantic comedies (alone), secretly watching Disney movies on their DVDs over and over again, and reading cheesy bestselling young adult novels even though they are 25 years old.

  442. Carmen says:

    “half will go to bills, quarter to savings, rest goes for a sexy dress to wear for you on the next date. Why can’t all women do that?”
    That’s roughly the breakdown of how my money is used. Some people just spend it on nonsense (or drugs) as soon as they get it. Such a waste. And spending some money on looking nice for my SD is like an investment IMO-at least that’s what I tell myself when shopping for cute clothes lol

  443. RSD says:

    @Carmen

    Those plus too many cancellations were the only reasons I’ve ended sugar arrangements. You’d be surprised what SBs will try to pull off.

  444. Josh says:

    Oh I had missed that part. So you are indeed putting out. Good for you and him. 😉

  445. Alexis says:

    Please, don’t get me started.

  446. Carmen says:

    @RSD
    That’s a pretty short and completely understandable list of deal breakers. Makes me wonder what kind of SB’s are out there…

  447. Josh says:

    @SouthernSB

    I had bailed out but you reeled me into your situation.

    Kick that idiot out of your life. Life would be much better with freedom do what you want but no food in the fridge, no clothes on the back, and not entertainment. Trust me, freedom is ALL we want to live, regardless of how we define freedom. 😉

  448. SouthernSB says:

    @Carmen&Alexis-Thanks for the input. I think I will look into getting a second SD as I really need an allowance.

  449. RSD says:

    Buying an SB groceries and clothes etc is so much effort. Much easier to hand her cash and have her do it herself.

  450. Fantasy says:

    “What would you do if you were dating someone who was willing to buy you clothes, take you out to dinner, take you on trips, but never give you an allowance?”

    @SouthernSB
    So, you’re dating? It’s not an arrangement? I assume you have no other income. He pays everything but you can never do anything by yourself? Even when your needs are being taken care of it’s nice to have money like a grown adult. Express that sentiment. Or tell him you want to get a job, but be prepared to get one.

    I just took a guess at the situation. Sorry if I’m totally off-base.

  451. Josh says:

    So him doing all that is not good enough for your to put out?

  452. Carmen says:

    @SouthernSB
    It sounds to me like he wants to be a regular boyfriend spoiling his girlfriend with gifts. If I wanted that I could be dating guys my own age. In sugar I want the freedom to spend the money as I wish and I’d be disappointed if he wasn’t giving me an allowance-monthly or in smaller amounts more frequently, whatever works. I would either be looking for a new SD or if I really liked the guy then changing my perspective on the relationship and no longer thinking of it as a sugar relationship. I think if he wanted to give you an allowance he would have done so already.

  453. SouthernSB says:

    @Josh-Stimulating me intellectually is the fastest way to stimulate me sexually, hence my total lust of Neil deGrasse Tyson despite the fact that he isn’t my type.

  454. Josh says:

    @SouthernSB

    You had asked SBs and Alexis responded. Do you consider her an SB or a figment? 😉

  455. Alexis says:

    “All the SBs-What would you do if you were dating someone who was willing to buy you clothes, take you out to dinner, take you on trips, but never give you an allowance? Oh and he bought all the clothes on sale? BTW, for all of you in the know yes, he stocked my fridge.”

    Keep him? Be grateful? Gee, I dunno!
    *boinggggg*

  456. Josh says:

    This is my newly developed mantra “What makes you a fun company?”

    I am grilling the fat chick and she has no clue how to respond to this question. :(

  457. Josh says:

    Oops. The question was for all the SB. My apologies indeed.

  458. Josh says:

    @SouthernSB

    Did you put out? 😉

  459. Alexis says:

    “She was the one who walked two miles in torrential downpours when her car got washed away by floodwaters to see me; she was twenty minutes late.”

    Good SB, yes.

    “And we were together nearly four years…”

    That’s a good amount of time. I was with my SM for slightly over 4.5 years. Judging by what I’ve seen on this site, it didn’t seem like anyone else would have such a longterm arrangement, so it’s really nice to read of yours.

  460. SouthernSB says:

    @All the SBs-What would you do if you were dating someone who was willing to buy you clothes, take you out to dinner, take you on trips, but never give you an allowance? Oh and he bought all the clothes on sale? BTW, for all of you in the know yes, he stocked my fridge. Now it isn’t that I’m not grateful, I’ve shown him just how grateful I am, and I really am fond of him. But I need an allowance. I have absolutely no freedom. I tried to bring it up, but he looked disappointed and accused me oh just wanting his money. It’s not like that at all, he stimulates me intellectually.

  461. Eloquence says:

    smh… that’s right.. I’m patty caking my hands saying “come on daddy, you can do it.” right back at you babe. :)

  462. Josh says:

    Good for you. Now stay with baby steps. Write two sentences of 8-10 words, then three sentence of 8-10 words and so on.

  463. Eloquence says:

    @ Josh

    11 cents is better than no cents. Yes!! (with my fist and arm pumped in a downward motion of triumph) I officially made sense!

  464. Carmen says:

    @RSD (and other SD’s)
    Apart from a SB not showing up when promised, what are other deal breakers for you?

  465. Josh says:

    @Eloquence

    Sweetheart, I equate my theories to BS.

    You know why? Because I have not even made a single dime out of them. The only way my theories have any worth is when I made at least 11 cents out of them. 😉

  466. Eloquence says:

    @ Josh

    You theorize all the time and have once again resonated my presumption of the whole “theory” to begin with. Thank you for allowing myself to be enlightened once more.

  467. Josh says:

    “A married SD provides his wife with a place to stay, pays for her needs, and she doesn’t meet every need he has. He then acquires a SB who will meet all his unmet desires. Shouldn’t the SB then receive the same accomodations as the wife?”

    In life you don’t get what you theorize. In life you get what you position yourself for.

    The legally-wedded wife played her cards right and is now coasting under the full protection of the Common Law.

    The SB has a choice of either positioning herself to be someone’s legally-wedded wife to get the Common Law protection to coast, or make the best of her positioning as an SB. It’s her choice.

    Next question please?

  468. flyR says:

    “”“Unless a man is putting you in an apartment, paying for all of your needs to relieve your from the daily grind so that you may be dedicated to him, a demand for being “exclusive” is idiotic.”””

    I understand “deal killer” requirements but this seems to really fall into the category of ,” is this a fairly balanced arrangement?”

    I can understand that for some SB or SD it is a personal deal killer.

  469. Josh says:

    “It” has a few more long years before , “it” expires.

  470. Eloquence says:

    @ Fantasy

    Yes, Thank you dear. I concur.

  471. Fantasy says:

    @Josh
    They heard of your newly acquired tastes and are looking to squeeze a few in before it expires. 😉

  472. Amber B. says:

    I totally agree with keeping his personal life.. and OUR lives separate.. I had a SD tell me a little about his wife.. and she had some kind of health condition =[ I began to feel awfully guilty….

  473. Josh says:

    Hot off the press…Another fatso inquiry. 23 years-old, Prefer Not To Say children. Can’t make out size of her tits though.

  474. Josh says:

    If Eloquence acknowledges that’s what she was asking then the Josh Guru shall respond.

  475. Fantasy says:

    “Unless a man is putting you in an apartment, paying for all of your needs to relieve your from the daily grind so that you may be dedicated to him, a demand for being “exclusive” is idiotic.”

    @Eloquence
    I have to agree with the men here. What you said is very hard to decipher.

    @Josh
    My translation:
    A married SD provides his wife with a place to stay, pays for her needs, and she doesn’t meet every need he has. He then acquires a SB who will meet all his unmet desires. Shouldn’t the SB then receive the same accomodations as the wife?

  476. Josh says:

    @RSD

    I want to have contact info of the torrential rain girl. Such women are rare breed. 😉

  477. RSD says:

    I only had one SB so far who showed up every time as promised. She was the one who walked two miles in torrential downpours when her car got washed away by floodwaters to see me; she was twenty minutes late. And we were together nearly four years till she moved away. But 95% will give me good cause to dump them within a few weeks, a few months at most.

  478. Josh says:

    “But most SBs don’t get that mad if they are dumped for not keeping up their end of the bargain;”

    Smart man! 😉

  479. RSD says:

    @Josh

    My current rates are simple and take-it-or-leave-it:

    $200 per meet for meet ‘n greet–coffee, dinner, ice cream, etc. Nothing sexual, no expectations, either can walk away no questions asked. This is so the SB can’t accuse me of wasting her time if I’m not interested.

    $500 per meet in my apartment for a few meets or weeks

    Then monthly allowance based on how often we meet (e.g. $4K/mo for twice a week)

    I’m very blunt about the payment plan in my first email to any pot SB and it doesn’t seem like anyone is unhappy about it or bargains for more.

    The monthly allowance part buys me something invaluable–the ability to dump most SBs with good cause because they didn’t show up as many times as promised. I think of it as handing an SB a shovel to dig her own grave. Some won’t, but most will. But most SBs don’t get that mad if they are dumped for not keeping up their end of the bargain; after all, it’s objectively their fault, not mine.

  480. Josh says:

    @RSD

    Without revealing the exact amount, I must ensure you that in my neck of the woods I have arranged with model material for less than that amount.

    Now get this…I offered 25% more to see how she responds. Her answer, “Lol, no. I’ve gotten that to sit at the dinner”.

  481. Carmen says:

    @sexyrockstar
    Smart girl :) I’d love tips on getting my sugar in order lol. I do have a super sweet SD but he is def not giving me 5k a month. That would be nice. I’m not the best negotiator so I haven’t had the “allowance” talk yet but I think it’s about time. But I hate brining up $$ ugh

  482. 42SWM says:

    Not sure what happened with my previous post, but this is what I wanted to say.

    How do you know when a pot SB is incapable of being in a mutually beneficial arrangement? When she is overly communicative at times when she wants money (even if money is never mentioned) and she drops off the face of the earth at other times. When each of her proposed meeting dates/times are mere hours in advance.

    How do you know when a pot SB has a lot of potential for you? When your first meet involves great and sustained conversation. Had a few 3+ hour dinners off of SA. Spectacular ladies.

  483. Eloquence says:

    @ RSD

    Thank you for the kind acknowledgement. I shall conclude (re-remind myself) it is possibly still the age old saying: “teeth, tits and as*” plus the “motion of the ocean” and let it be.

  484. 42SWM says:

    How do you know when a pot SB is incapable of being in a mutually beneficial arrangement?

    When she is overly communicative at times when she wants money (even if money is never mentioned) and she drops off the face of the earth at other times.

    How do you know when a pot SB has a lot of potential for you?

    When your first meet involves great and sustained conversation. Had a few 3+ hour dinners off of SA. Spectacular ladies.

    When each of her proposed meeting dates/times are mere hours in advance.

    How do you know

  485. Josh says:

    @Eloquence

    No I did not understand anything. If anyone else wants to volunteer to decipher your writing for me then I will respond. May I ask your age and educational background to assess why you write the way you do? It’s just a matter of fact question. No disrespect intended.

    @RSD

    Classified. 😉

  486. RSD says:

    Actually, Eloquence, no offense, but I didn’t get your drift either…

  487. Eloquence says:

    @ Josh

    Complete withdrawal you are in. Really???

    My writing may have a “dash” of run-on sentencing with improper grammar acquainted. This is duly noted. Let’s call my writing style “aromatic”; you still get my “drift”.

  488. RSD says:

    @Josh, “I did get a response from her few minutes ago. Squarely 24 hours from the cancellation. She wanted higher allowance than we had tentatively agreed upon.”

    May I ask what the agreed upon allowance was?

  489. RSD says:

    “Unless a man is putting you in an apartment, paying for all of your needs to relieve your from the daily grind so that you may be dedicated to him, a demand for being “exclusive” is idiotic.”

    I have done that three times: apartment, all expenses, etc. And yes, in all three cases exclusivity was expected and the SBs deleted (well, one stopped logging into) their SA accounts and stopped looking. It’s a woman’s dream come true, and most will not want to ruin or risk it in that situation. But if you offer P4P on a sporadic basis, there is little reason for an SB to put all her eggs in one basket.

  490. Josh says:

    @Eloquence

    Sorry dear, you’ve gone back to your run-on sentences and incomprehensible writings.

    I don’t understand what you are saying/asking so I can’t respond, really.

  491. RSD says:

    This must be the first time I am completely sugar-free in about four years. Long-term SB left to another state; we still talk and text almost every day, but there is no way to see her often, as much as we both genuinely care about each other.

    Then the one who cancelled too many times (wrote about her a couple of weeks ago), I dumped. Even though I’ve been tempted to see her again perhaps on a P4P basis, the lack of mental chemistry keeps me from doing that, despite her being super hot (it seems like God created her body according to my ultimate fantasy of what a woman’s body should look and feel like).

    Then I had an SB who was out of town for 9 months and came back for school, and we met three times, had a great time and great sex, but then she told me she is falling in love with some guy from school, so it ended prematurely.

    I got back on the site yesterday and messaged maybe 4 or 5 SBs and have 3 dates next week. I’m kinda wary, since I have a growing list of what all can go wrong. I’ve come to fear meeting new SBs; I used to love it.

  492. Eloquence says:

    “Unless a man is putting you in an apartment, paying for all of your needs to relieve your from the daily grind so that you may be dedicated to him, a demand for being “exclusive” is idiotic.”

    @ Josh

    Shouldn’t the above mentioning’s also apply to the Husband/Wife scenario?

    Furthermore…If the man is married and is doing your above mentioned statement for the wife already.., then in “hypothetically speaking terms” if the SB is accommodating all of the man’s other mental, physical, emotional needs and then some, is she not worth the same? I’m simply asking for asking’s sake and other’s opinions.

    Now if you state he has no other “needs A-tall” or that the man has no desire for a SB to “fix” his need (either physical, emotional, mental, spiritual or all of the above allotment at once.) then why is “he” here.

  493. Josh says:

    I did get a response from her few minutes ago. Squarely 24 hours from the cancellation. She wanted higher allowance than we had tentatively agreed upon.

    I think it’s time for, Next? 😉

  494. RSD says:

    @Fantasy
    What are your thoughts on P4P?
    I don’t like it, but I definitely see the advantages (no one gets used).

    Do you think P4P and exclusive long-term can make a viable arrangement?
    Yes, especially if it’s P4P that turns into monthly allowance after a few weeks

    What type of arrangements do you prefer?
    Monthly allowance and an SB who shows up regularly as promised.

    Do you find SBs dedicate less of their time when they have a monthly allowance?
    Some do, some don’t. As the initial sugar excitement wears off, some SBs think they don’t have to show up and that the SD is whipped and will put up with whatever they do. These SBs are what I refer to as “ex-SBs”.

    But really, you need to pose these questions to your pot SD, not to other SDs who have very different takes. I prefer one SB for months to years who will meet me twice or thrice a week and have a genuine friendship where they know everything about me and are free to share their lives with me. I see it as somewhere between a girlfriend and a wife, with long-term financial support and genuine caring. Some see sugar as short-term sexual flings with no personal connection, and I have certainly been in sugar relationships of both types. Obviously the latter is more fleeting and less satisfying to me, but is quite easy to find.

  495. RSD says:

    @Josh: ” what are the typical reasons SBs cancel their meetings at the last minute? I just had a last minute cancellation, without any reason given.”
    I used to take cancellations personally, until I realized that some people get very nervous before a first date and can’t get themselves to go; perhaps some sort of avoidant personality issues. I know a girl who said she gets so nervous she gets the runs before a first date and ends up having to cancel; the more she’s interested, the worse the diarrhea. On top of that, some people don’t have their lives together, and suddenly realize all the conflicts in their schedule they can’t reconcile. Furthermore, some are experimenting with sugar and freak out when it comes down to actually meeting someone. Or after they set a date, they set other ones with people they may be theoretically more interested in, except these pot SDs flake on them, etc.

  496. Josh says:

    @Fantasy

    Since thou asketh, thou receiveth wisdom from the Josh Guru:

    “To me, exclusive long-term and P4P are contradictions.

    Negative.

    “Do you find SBs dedicate less of their time when they have a monthly allowance?”

    Some SBs are going to swear that it is preposterous to suggest that, but most SBs on SA will bolt when given a monthly allowance upfront. Forget monthly amount, which could be thousands of dollars, they would even disappear if you give them a few hundred dollars out of the multi-thousand dollar monthly arrangement.

    It’s not their fault though. Most of these women have not seen that much amount, for free mind you, in their lives. So they will disappear until that amount runs out.

    What was going on from the SD side?

    He tried to be her white knight and ended up feeling like an ass.

    What is going on from the women’s side?

    Lotsa lotsa…

    1. “He has a lot of money,” she thinks.

    2. “Anything he spends on me is worth every penny of it,” she tells herself.

    3. According to some experts a chemical releases in women’s brain when they get free money from a random rich men. It makes them feel on top of the world, in a similar way when a man gets lucky with a random beautiful woman.

    4. The bragging rights among girlfriends of getting free money from random rich men are priceless. Making good on that money progressively reduces the bragging rights.

    “What are your thoughts on P4P?”

    Men are dumb name givers. “Pay for Play” is a crude and mindless representation of “partial allowance for the month of…”

    “Do you think P4P and exclusive long-term can make a viable arrangement?”

    Unless a man is putting you in an apartment, paying for all of your needs to relieve your from the daily grind so that you may be dedicated to him, a demand for being “exclusive” is idiotic.

    “What type of arrangements do you prefer?”

    I prefer fun arrangements. 😉

  497. Josh says:

    Come to think of it, I have not had a decent titty job in years. Dang!!!

    Hmmm, maybe with the Little Buddha. She has got nice titties.

  498. Josh says:

    Never thought about this angle. Now my thinking juices are flowing.

    The good thing about titty job is that I can do bb without having to worry too much about STD.

    Awesome!

    OK fatsos, I will not filter you out now, and seek out fun ones among you. But big plump titties, and the willingness to use them for a noble cause are a must. 😉

  499. Josh says:

    @sexyrockstar

    Good point about the titty job. That’s what I will have to focus on I guess. Slim girls ain’t got that…fur shure.

    As far as the doggie style, I can’t agree with you. I have done with enough of fat ones to know that I like small, cute, but meaty ass for that. Think Marilyn Monroe. That’s my limit for ass. 😉

  500. sexyrockstar says:

    Josh….you should listen to that song “All about the bass” bawahaha. I am not fat, but I am curvy. There is nothing I can do about it.

    But, I do know of an SD that said I would look better if I gained closer to 50 pounds. Bang one doggy style…watch that ass jiggle. might feel good against your ball sack. Maybe? just a theory. fat chicks=HHUUUGGGEEE tits. Get the best titty job ever.

  501. Josh says:

    I wanna hear from SDs who like fat women. To each is own. I am sure they know what they are doing and enjoying. I respect that.

    I could never enjoy it with fat women so I excluded them from my search criteria. If anyone wants to indulge, how do you do a fat woman?

    This is NOT a joke to make fun of fat women. I just want to know so that if/when I run into a FUN fat woman, I can enjoy intimate time with her.

  502. Fantasy says:

    @Petite
    While I appreciate the response, my questions were more about the questions and less about this specific instance. That’s why I asked for SD responses. Thank you though.

  503. Josh says:

    [Out of the blue, blurry solo picture, fat, divorced and 31 year-old mother of “Prefer Not to Say” children] SB: How often do you wanna meet up?

    [Pissed] Josh: How about never? 😉

    SB: Ass

  504. sexyrockstar says:

    @Carmen

    I never LIVED off sugar. I left my ‘job’ once I had enough sugar SAVED up in order to make sure my business was MAKING me money. I only had one at a time. Had a few successful long term ones….ones for a few months at a time, but NEVER EVER had more then one at a time. I was getting about 5K a month with my last one.

    I don’t really live above my lifestyle…I only really just bought this fancy ass car as a gift to myself for my hard work and rewarding myself for saving my money and not touching it….I told myself if I can X amount of sugar money for a year, i’ll do something super nice for myself. Anddddd I did. My credit is pretty nice, so my car payments are VERY small since I was able to put a great lovely cash deposit down and worked on my credit. It wasn’t easy, but it’s do able.

    I would be more then happy to help you with your sugar in order to get your mom that car of yours!

  505. Josh says:

    Oh, the innuendos…THE innuendos…

  506. Fantasy says:

    @Alexis
    Hahahaha! I hear the same about the logs. It is a shame.

  507. Fantasy says:

    @Josh
    Awww, but I thought you were good with your hands! 😉

  508. Alexis says:

    @ Elaine (or whoever)
    “So that is why I stopped sharing positive stories about sugarexperiences.”

    I really understand. Awww don’t frown, please.

    I, for one, enjoyed your stories. I figured the reason you stopped was because you were out with your SDs and didn’t have time lol.

    @Petite
    “There are women that are capable of being good (or catatonically amazing) in bed…”

    Let’s just shoot for the 1 in 10,000 “good” because finding one who is “catatonically amazing” probably has lottery-winning odds.

    Universe help me, most women somehow shapeshift into logs once they hit a bed.
    *eyeroll*

  509. Carmen says:

    @sexyrockstar
    It’s wonderful that you were able to use sugar improve your life that much. I don’t NEED the money but it’s always nice to have extra to save away and get things my family wouldn’t otherwise be able to afford. Buying a new car for my mom is on the list of things I want to use my sugar money for. But how were you able to afford leaving your job and just living off sugar? Multiple sugar daddies? One very wealthy one? Starting my own business is something I’d love to do but it’s a pretty daunting prospect when I already have a pretty solid/ safe career. One can always dream though :)

  510. Josh says:

    Gentle

    It seems that, before lending our hard-earned money to some of these SBs, neither you nor me read the Cosmo article which instructed these women that borrow = gift. 😉

  511. Josh says:

    @Fantasy

    “@Josh
    Or you could, you know, actually provide an intelligent response because I know you have the capacity to.”

    Sweetheart, it may be hard to believe, but sometimes I do have to wurk, and I can’t respond quickly from my stupidly smart phone. 😉

  512. gentle(man)soul says:

    @KMS

    ” instead of being generous, and fair, you offer her half of a past agreed amount, just because you can?”

    Hmmm -I think many of you fair ladies here have your heads in the blogosphere. Most Gents I have talked and blogged with over the years are not on Sugar sites trying to find “THE ONE” to settle down with forever in extramarital bliss. I have had one cherished girl for 1 1/4 yrs and I now am seeing no less than 3 at a time . I haven’t found that great SB who knocks my socks off and makes me want to take care of her every need . Think of IRL dating . You don’t settle down with the first girl you meet and marry her do you ? You date around for awhile until you find that one Well ,Sugar dating works that way too. The SB I spoke of had “borrowed” $300 and flaked numerous times . I discounted her for future visits to regain prepaid allowance. No –she is not a cherished Keeper so to speak .All SBs (and SDs ) are not the same .

    @KD

    Goodness in reading most of these posts it seems to me I have found the perfect “Daddy” and the perfect arrangement

    You are indeed lucky my Dear ! Keep that boy happy. They do happen.

    My point with the 1st quote is that all Daddies are not loaded and able to drop a few $1000s just to be a good guy . Fortunes rise and fall,but the desire to Sugar is always there . So sometimes we(Men)have to economize to participate at the level we desire .

  513. sexyrockstar says:

    I used my sugar to benefit me. I started out NEEDING the money, turned it into something to better my life, and just stayed in it because I was able to leave my “job that paid my bills” so I can focus on my business that will let me retire, something my kids will take over, ect ect.

    I remember the first time I thought I was getting kicked to the curb. OMG, I was so mad. Because I really…really…REALLY liked him. So, I just kept it more on a business level. I would use his knowledge to continue to get ahead in life. Personally, I think any SB who would create drama is an effn idiot. That means they were physco to begin with. I think if any SB feels that its starting to slip, hit him up style…a classy style. I just made him think I didn’t NEED him anymore, or WANT him anymore. Men always enjoy feeling wanted. New-ness of a sugar relationship will fade if there isn’t a super strong connection, so for the ones who are just strictly sexual… be more business related. All of the sudden, dude was calling me, texting, facebook friended me (the fawwwkkkk)

    If the SD doesn’t truly feel it anymore, instead of lying about it, just be honest about it. This type of relationship (super more so if you’re married) is based on trust. Why lie now? I broke off something with a guy once, but he was really appreciative that I was honest. I actually got a ‘thank you for being so honest with me’ allowance.

  514. gentle(man)soul says:

    ” instead of being generous, and fair, you offer her half of a past agreed amount, just because you can?”

  515. Petite says:

    @Fantasy
    It’s possible that this particular SD can’t maintain a regular schedule, so he’s trying to match ratio of time spent to money spent. If it doesn’t work for you, it doesn’t work for you. If you’re interested in the guy, I’d talk to him about it. Since he’s the only one who could give you a real answer about what he’s looking for and why..

    ALSO
    @Josh
    There are women that are capable of being good (or catatonically amazing) in bed…

  516. Fantasy says:

    @Josh
    Or you could, you know, actually provide an intelligent response because I know you have the capacity to.

  517. Josh says:

    @Jacob

    The almighty answerth what the mere mortals understandth not. 😉

  518. Jacob says:

    * not _mutually_ exclusive

  519. Jacob says:

    @fantasy
    The two are not exclusive. Pay for performance, thus performance can be the reservation of right of exclusivity for one Month or one week. In fact, that means, part of the pay is due even if he cancels an appointment unless he releases you from exclusivity reservation at the same time.

  520. Fantasy says:

    There is a SD who really piques my interest. I’ve hesitated to write him because he has a pay per meeting reference in his profile even though his profile also states he wants an exclusive long-term arrangement. To me, exclusive long-term and P4P are contradictions. So, this brought up a few questions I hope SDs will help me with.

    What are your thoughts on P4P?
    Do you think P4P and exclusive long-term can make a viable arrangement?
    What type of arrangements do you prefer?
    Do you find SBs dedicate less of their time when they have a monthly allowance?

  521. Josh says:

    @Elaine, another SB I remember now. She called herself Little Buddha. Nothing could let her down.

    I was once typing some of my women-related “pearls of wisdom” to a male friend and by mistake I texted it to her. Guess what her response was…”Good job.”

  522. Josh says:

    Now I am formulating a different strategy.

    Off the bet, I will ask SBs (aside from ho-hum sex, which I may or may not be interested in) how can they make our time together fun?

    I will let you know all how it goes. 😉

  523. Elaine says:

    @ Josh

    No I will NOT try to convince you.
    Unfortunally that seems useless, so I only take notice of the part of you that is trying to give help and sensible answers when people on blog ask for help or advice.
    Or the posts that make me laugh because of your ironic sense of humor.
    And the mysogenist part I simply ignore! :-)

    @ Alexis (or whoever)

    “Also, I can completely understand about being hesitant to share your positive sugar happenings. It’s like that on this blog. I won’t share anything for the same reasons. It’s a shame really as our positive stories are probably what a lot of people click on this blog for.”

    True!
    Unfortunally, if you post positive experiences here, very often you will be told you are a “fantasywriter”, or ” you don’t have a profile” or “you don’t have an SD” or simply that you are a liar.
    So that is why I stopped sharing positive stories about sugarexperiences. :-(

  524. Alexis says:

    “Then only way to post freely on this blog is by having/growing a thick skin and fend of detractors.”

    I do indeed have an extremely thick skin; however, I was thinking “What’s the use of posting if no one really wants to hear it?”. I see now, though, that some do want to hear it, so I will consider posting my own experiences as time proceeds.

    “I’d love to hear more about everyone’s positive experiences! It’s a bit of a downer to hear people complaining so much about the sugar world. Perhaps hearing a bit more positives would help everyone remain hopeful and optimistic in their sugar search. No one likes a jaded SD or SB”

    Yah I know really, ew lol.

    Thanks for the feedback though. It’s nice to know that some really *want* to hear good things. I hope your own search is going well. I have had some really REALLY lol nice experiences on this site. I’ll elaborate more on this later.

  525. Carmen says:

    When I first read the blog I thought “What awful experiences people have had! Money isn’t worth all that”. It really put me off to entering the sugar world. I’m glad I changed my mind. Maybe I’ve just been lucky but so far the positive experiences have far outweighed the negatives.

  526. Carmen says:

    @Alexis
    I’d love to hear more about everyone’s positive experiences! It’s a bit of a downer to hear people complaining so much about the sugar world. Perhaps hearing a bit more positives would help everyone remain hopeful and optimistic in their sugar search. No one likes a jaded SD or SB :(

  527. Josh says:

    @Alexis,

    Then only way to post freely on this blog is by having/growing a thick skin and fend of detractors.

    Those who tried to bump me off had multiple nervous break downs and quit. Hahahaha!!!

    flyR is still around but he has significantly cutailed his frequent attempts to bump me off after being slammed hard with appropriate response every time he tried. 😉

  528. Josh says:

    *NOT try to convice…

  529. Alexis says:

    “Waiting for Alexis to jump in now, about the typical “female” chess and games….”
    You called?

    “Goodness in reading most of these posts it seems to me I have found the perfect “Daddy” and the perfect arrangement, but I had no idea how good it was until reading so many of these posts. I was going to chime in and list all the great things we have but it will just appear as bragging or being accused of being a fake etc…”

    KD I’m so HAPPY for you! I’m glad you’ve found the perfect SD. Also, I can completely understand about being hesitant to share your positive sugar happenings. It’s like that on this blog. I won’t share anything for the same reasons. It’s a shame really as our positive stories are probably what a lot of people click on this blog for.

  530. Josh says:

    @Elaine

    I am ok with that “sweety” assessment of yours if you will now try to convince me that:

    1. Not too many women sabotage their relationships,

    2. Most women don’t suck in bed unless sun, earth, moon, and the relevant stars and planets align perfectly. 😉

    3. It’s a man’s responsibly to bring all the heavenly bodies in perfect alignment for her.

  531. Elaine says:

    @Josh

    Aaaahhww, I knew it, I knew it !!
    In fact you are a sweety! 😉

  532. Josh says:

    I don’t know how many would call it naive, but what I have learnt is that I am NOT necessarily looking for sex, per se, in sugar. But that’s just me.

    Borrowing from Dr. Chapman’s love languages, I lean towards quality time and physical touch. That’s what I value the most.

    As most women suck in the sex department (no pun applied or intended), when I look at the characteristics of my past SBs, I cherish the time with some SBs with whom I had a blast even when my penis was not involved even though it was firmly standing by. 😉

    Believe it or not one of them was a chatterbox who I could listen for hours. We did have sex multiple times but I liked her more for her chatterability than sex.

    The other who never allowed me in used to jump on bed naked on the beat of a hip hop song glorifying her amazing ass. She had the bess ass ever.

    Would I continue to pay these coeds for their chatterboxing and shaking booties? In a haeartbeat, again and again.

    So basically I am trying to meet SBs who are loads of fun to be around. But then again what able-bodied man does not want to stick “it” in whenever he can; money directly involved or not, right? 😉

  533. Josh says:

    @Elaine

    Thise are indeed “wise words” but are not relevant to sugar. 😉

    However, knowing the propensity of SA to take Gary Chapman’s love languages and calling them “sugar love languages” without giving an iota of credit to Dr. Chapman, anything applies to sugar. 😉

  534. Elaine says:

    “I am saying that sugar is like prisoner’s dilemma in game theory, if both parties act to avoid the worst individual outcome (being taken advantage of) you end up with the worst aggregate outcome (very transactional arrangement).”

    “an individual’s capacity to love, be vulnerable, etc. can be dampened by more cynical arrangements.”

    Thanks for sharing these wise words 42SWM!

  535. Analog Kid says:

    @gentle(man)soul

    Thanks for the tips on exiting by bringing up the SO. I like that one.

  536. Analog Kid says:

    Great replies and duly noted and appreciated. Just so I don’t give the wrong impression the following is made crystal clear up-front:

    * I am married and am happy to remain so
    * I have no time for traditional dating encounters
    * I am only in this for the passion
    * I will not agree to an up-front allowance

    Once the relationship commences I give hints that it will be short term so in this way it allows some exit strategy down the road.

    Is this a cold-hearted arrangement? I’m sure the women on this board would say yes but the fact is ………. the SB is getting paid to be in my company and partake in a few hours of terrific love-making and great conversation with a gentleman who has quite a bit of life experiences to share ……..if they desire.

    Even though I feel my bases are covered up-front, it still is awkward for me to close the arrangement and hence my original question.

  537. Josh says:

    It’s late in my neck of the woods. I am going to bed. If someone wants to rip apart what I wrote above go to town.

    But if you are too nasty to my BS aka super duper “pearls of wisdom” then I will spank you into shape. 😉

  538. Josh says:

    Re: Army example, from the positive experience point of view one cannot compare the Army with sugar, as the Army is a highly organized operation, whereas sugar is pretty much whatever goes. So one cannot just go with the flow, work hard and be successful in sugar. Sugar is more like entrepreneurship. You need to be focused, persistent and work with what you really want to leave everything else for other people to explore and be happy/content with.

    That said, this who BS about finding life partners through sugar is Brandon’s marketing pitch to keep his company in good with the law.

    Why else would I want to forcefully transform a leased Ferrari into owned Pinto? Well, that’s just me. Different yanks for different wanks, I guess. 😉

  539. Josh says:

    @42SWM

    Thanks for the nuanced response.

    “(a) They get used to thinking about using sex as a way to get what they want;”

    Aren’t they using sex in the “normal” relationships with a smaller number of men to get what they want at the higher price point, and flirtation with the rest of the male population to get what they want at a lower price-point?

    “(b) They miss out on guys who look at them in a longer term context;”

    I don’t know about that. Projects are much more interesting to women than sugar daddies. I have had at least three of my SBs disappear, fall in love and leave my sugar arrangements so far. One of them was falling in love with me but I put some distance so she “rekindled an old flame.”

    “(c) an individual’s capacity to love, be vulnerable, etc. can be dampened by more cynical arrangements.”

    I don’t see any value in being vulnerable. I like to believe that no human being should allow themselves to be “vulnerable” in any sphere of life, inside or outside of romantic relationships.

    As far as “capacity to” love and be happy/content, etc., they have no too much to do with being in the sugar bowl for any amount of time. That stuff is part by-birth and part upbringing and part life experiences that leads him/her to sugar.

    So if one comes to sugar resisting sugar at every step of the way, sugar is going to induce guilt in him/her, which could be detrimental to one’s well-being. The same may be said about joining the Army. If you (rhetorical) join the Army while resisting the nature of the “beast”, the beast may mess you up real bad, which could be pretty detrimental to your mental health after the Army spits you back on the street.

    Emotional development wise, sugar does not happen until they are at least 18 years old. Now, if you use sugar to experience all kinds of gut wrenching as well as “multi-orifices” wrenching experiences with reckless sugar partners, then it’s not sugar’s fault, per se. It is the fault of the sugar player as to what kind of “game” he/she wants to play.

  540. 42SWM says:

    @josh:

    on (2), I am saying that sugar is like prisoner’s dilemma in game theory, if both parties act to avoid the worst individual outcome (being taken advantage of) you end up with the worst aggregate outcome (very transactional arrangement).

    In terms of (3) and (4), I am just sharing my feelings on the matter. Not sure why. Maybe sugar relationships have a higher beta than normal dating? Maybe because being “taken advantage of” in the context of sugar has an extra dimension to it. Maybe because in a sugar relationship I can be we with more attractive ladies.

    In terms of (5), I think the following are risks to faced by SBs if they stay in the sugar bowl tool long: (a) They get used to thinking about using sex as a way to get what they want; (b) They miss out on guys who look at them in a longer term context; (c) an individual’s capacity to love, be vulnerable, etc. can be dampened by more cynical arrangements.

  541. Josh says:

    Correction: I should not have said that they played me against each other. It was more like both of them trying to rinse me as a tag team.

  542. Josh says:

    Hot off the press…

    Approximately 6 months ago two SBs played me against each other. They even asked me to deliver food to them at the exact same work address. One asked for Chinese because she was “starving.” She ordered a bunch of stuff that I thought was too much for one person but had it ordered anyway. Approximately, $30. Not a big deal. I was already dating her, so it came with the territory.

    Some 15 days later the other one wanted some mucho expensive dessert item to the same address. This one was playing hide and seek. Made date, cancelled at the last minute then was talking about another date. I refused this one because it was a pure rinsing operation.

    I would never have put two and two together if one of them had not come back and tried to sell me some stuff and told me about the other. Live and learn I guess. 😉

    PS: Both of them are gorgeous.

  543. Josh says:

    @KD

    See, when real on-the-ground sugar stuff is discussed both SDs and SBs can position themselves for better results.

    Enjoy your time with your SD up until the time your urge to sabotage your arrangement gets the best of you.

    Now you are going to assume that I am portraying you as a “bad” woman/person. Sabotage does not make you a bad woman/person, per se. Sabotaging their relationship with men is just an integral part of being a woman. Many woman eventually win against their innate urge to sabotage, most can’t. C’est la vie. 😉

  544. Follow My Lead says:

    @Josh Nope, it was offered without strings attached.

    So many men, let alone SDs, claim that women never give them gifts, with nothing expected in return. I am dispelling that myth. ;P

  545. Jj says:

    Bravo KD,,now if the Brandon Wade ‘brand’ could only figure it out…..

  546. KD says:

    Goodness in reading most of these posts it seems to me I have found the perfect “Daddy” and the perfect arrangement, but I had no idea how good it was until reading so many of these posts. I was going to chime in and list all the great things we have but it will just appear as bragging or being accused of being a fake etc… I guess I’ll just take my leave and be happy with what I’ve found. Good luck to one and all…

  547. Follow My Lead says:

    @Thomas I was going to say that only unskilled or semi-skilled workers make $12/hour, but I guess in this economy it could happen.

    @42 SWM I think you have some very valid points.

    @Jacob I see nothing wrong with arrangements that have expiration or renewal dates, so long as BOTH parties are aware of this. I have even suggested those to nervous newbie SDs.

  548. Josh says:

    @Follow My Lead

    Did I ask your advice dear? 😉

  549. Josh says:

    @RSD
    I am glad that such arrangements work for you. I keep things rather simple(r). 😉

    @Thomas
    Good point

    @gtt_envy

    1. I never have anything in my pockets during my sugar meetings.
    2. The hotel is booked and checked in ahead of time and I give SBs room number to meet me at.
    3. All my ids, credit card, cash, etc., pretty much stays in the car.
    4. I keep a few bucks for incidentals in my pocket.
    5. Sometimes I have money on me and the other times I would go grab it from the car, when needed.
    6. Thus far I have been keeping car keys on me, but I am going to hold it at the counter from now on.
    7. I am thinking about renting cars from now on instead of exposing my own license plates.

  550. Follow My Lead says:

    @Alexis I am not saying the guys deserved what they got. I actually said the opposite, that I felt sorry for them.

    One of those guys knowingly played with fire, because he just dropped and froze out a woman he knew was on multiple medications for mental illness. This was a girl I had told a few guys, no, you don’t stick it in her, bad idea, lots of fish in the sea. But he did it anyway. He was a jerk and certainly deserved a verbal scolding and to be barred from getting a second chance, but not anything remotely near what hellish drama he got.

    As far as guys playing guessing games with women instead of saying it’s just not meant to be… yes, it’s childish and wrong. @Josh It truly is ungentlemanly behavior, regardless of whether little boys think highly of themselves when playing head games, instead of either giving the truth, or a polite lie that doesn’t insult anyone’s intelligence, like the wife getting suspicious, or needing to take a break to help out a family member.

    I am saying that this behavior is like playing Russian Roulette. Would you have *unprotected* sex with a dozen randomly selected attractive women, and then get angry and defensive when you discovered you got infected with something nasty? Because that is essentially the same thing as knowingly doing something that will almost universally get a pissed off reaction. An emotionally-stable woman may send you an angry txt message, block your email, throw sentimental gifts in the dumpster, write a scathing email, or something normal like that. But someone you didn’t realize was crazy because boobs and sex? Oh man… fire may be pretty, but that doesn’t mean you have to stick it in.

  551. Josh says:

    Rhetorical question: Why doesn’t Josh ask SBs for any advice? 😉

  552. Josh says:

    Questions for SDs…

    Other than the obvious, that is, they have a better opportunity to explore compared to what I am offering, what are the typical reasons SBs cancel their meetings at the last minute? I just had a last minute cancellation, without any reason given.

  553. Thomas says:

    Josh @ (5) There may be long term risks for some people who participate in a sugar relationship, particularly on the SB side of things.
    Why?
    Because too much sugar is unhealthy, and once you get used to easy money, it’s hard to motivate yourself to work for $12 an hour again.

  554. RSD says:

    I found easiest way to hide my tracks as a married SD is to have a separate sugar life. I keep an apartment for sugar meets, and have a separate bank account and credit card for sugar with everything mailed to the apartment.

  555. gtt_envy says:

    @Tannim, EXACTLY my experience too. Unless they are I a big city most of my previous SB’s have wanted to keep it more discreet too, but while travelling it’s fine to be out holding hands etc etc.

    I don’t trust anyone so anonymity is key for me! The less they know about me the better 😉 my regurgitated bio, job, cell phone, cc, id, all correspond with my “50% fake SD identity”. The only way I could be caught is if they drugged me and took my wallet or we were pulled over and I had to give the police my real id.

    As hypocritical as that is I am honest with all of my emotions, time, and truly sincere, but my LTR is too AWESOME and I can’t endanger that…..I just look for that little extra that firm, younger, vibrant, and new.

  556. Josh says:

    @42SWM

    “(1) SA allows both SDs and SBs to better leverage their strengths.”

    That’s correct.

    “(2) …Both sides must be committed to a different course if the transaction outcome is to be avoided.”

    What does that mean? Are you suggesting SBs should go the pure escort route, and the johns should go to them through pure escort venues?

    “(3) Bad experiences in the sugar bowl get me down more than bad experiences in the world of conventional dating.
    (4) Positive experiences in the sugar bowl have been far better than my experiences in the world of conventional dating.”

    Why?

    “(5) There may be long term risks for some people who participate in a sugar relationship, particularly on the SB side of things.”

    Why?

  557. Tannim says:

    I think there are different types of SB and SD on this site. I am married and my SB is a nursing student and I have helped her with her career and provided for her. I even paid for her spring break trip.

    The thought that all SB are looking for LTR’s is hard to believe. When I first started looking. I ran across the gamut of short term to ones wanting to move in after a few weeks. I went with what I wanted and I like to think there were no hurt feelings. My SB doesn’t want to be seen with me in her town because of talk and while we kinda match it’s just easier to go to a nuetral town a few minutes drive away.

  558. Josh says:

    @Kms2014,

    I don’t know about your mental shower but I am more than happy to align my mind with your physical shower. 😉

  559. 42SWM says:

    I think the quote of “true enough, but it is the dynamic that MOST of us live in the Sugar Bowl” is an interesting one. The key word being “most”. What percentage of SA arrangements if evaluated honestly, are purely P2P transactions?

    When I first started using SA, I was in retrospect, very lucky in terms of the people I was meeting. As a result, I had initially concluded that SA-dating was actually more honest and more fun than conventional dating. I had a blast.

    Now my luck seems to have changed, and I hold my prior assessments in doubt. I definitely prefer the world of KMS to the world of gentle(man)soul, but I don’t have the data to show that either is right.

    What I can say is the following:
    (1) SA allows both SDs and SBs to better leverage their strengths.
    (2) If the people involved look at their desired benefits through a narrow prism, it is very easy for sugar dynamics to result in a race to the bottom (i.e. transactional outcome). Both sides must be committed to a different course if the transaction outcome is to be avoided.
    (3) Bad experiences in the sugar bowl get me down more than bad experiences in the world of conventional dating.
    (4) Positive experiences in the sugar bowl have been far better than my experiences in the world of conventional dating.
    (5) There may be long term risks for some people who participate in a sugar relationship, particularly on the SB side of things.

  560. Kitty says:

    Screw all of that. I wouldn’t be a homewrecker if someone paid me 10,000 dollars… and trust me, it’s been offered! Single men appreciate the last line in my profile. And single men are the only men I’d ever have an arrangement with

  561. Kms2014 says:

    “True enough, but it is the dynamic that most of us live in the Sugar Bowl.”

    I don’t think so, or else this has not been my experience….my pictures and profile did not attract that type of man, though. what you seek is very much transactional, which, yes, that is your business, but is deceitful and cheap to ‘get the SB to take less, later on, for half the price as she is eager to get back on the gravy train’.

    I don’t think you are forcing these women, of course not! I know this is hypothetical, but what if one of these gravy trained women of yours was desperate for her rent money that month, or had other bills to pay…and instead of being generous, and fair, you offer her half of a past agreed amount, just because you can? That doesn’t make it right…and sounds pretty slimy, in my opinion. To be honest, most of my arrangements gifted me more allowance and gifts as our time together went on…since it is like a regular relationship, in that more trust is established as time goes on–not the other way around with allowances? In my opinion, if you are in an arrangement, then you should not be lying and scamming your SD or SB, in order to get more out of him, or him trying to get more from you for less ‘money’. The whole conversation in your original post felt kinda dirty while reading, to be honest. But hey, we apparently are on completely different sides on the spectrum…

    Am off to take a shower(mentally and physically now), hehe.

  562. Elaine says:

    @KMS

    I don’t know, I start to think that maybe a lot of SBs are indeed completely ok with this kind of sugar reality.

    “And OTOH, most young SBs do not want to make it too public that they are on the arm of a man their Father or Grandfathers age anyway,hence their agreement to take it to the bedroom sooner rather than later”

    This text is not making me think very positive about it either.
    Willing to have sex for money with a man you would feel ashamed of being seen in public with….
    My god, that is really sad!

    I guess it is just us being the dinosaurs, with our old fashioned look upon chivalry, and the sugarworld, and how it ideally should look like…

    ..Shrugh

  563. gentle(man)soul says:

    @KMS

    True enough, but it is the dynamic that most of us live in the Sugar Bowl.

    “As far as the men who take well-intentioned true sugar babies and their youth for a few dollars”

    This is your opinion but I assure you that the SBs are not losing their youth for a few dollars . They are shoppers seeking an easy mark. The Bowl is a mutual exchange service where no one is forced to accept an arrangement they do not want–never forget that . You are looking at women as the gentle sex unable to think for or protect themselves from us . Give your gender more credit .

  564. Kms2014 says:

    @gentlesoul…I am not outraged, as there are men who are worse than what I described, in my response to you. However, it makes me sad for your SBs. I think you ‘think’ you are cute and funny, while saying these things, or outraging women? but what is it doing for these girls, long-term? It doesn’t sound like you care much about them, or how they feel, or their situation…not the way you describe it with the same part of your post that Elaine posted…

    “To wit; SB fortunes rise and fall. Often a better deal fades or flakes and you find yourself sexless in Sugarland . So you can go back to laid off SB and ask if she would like to get together for a bump and grind . But ! You can’t afford as much because of the SO, so maybe 1/2 X will work ? My experience has been the SB will jump at the chance to get back on the gravy train at a lower price . You have already set the stage for exit right again. Also ,if you desire a new addition to the stable the SO excuse works well to cut back on SB A to allow time for SB B,C,etc.”

    I’m sorry, but that does NOT sound like a man who loves and cherishes his SB(s). It makes me sad when I see any human treat or brag about taking advantage of another human in such a way, due to selfish reasons)…no matter how ‘happy’ or ‘better for the experience’ you seem to think your SBs are(especially, the part about lying to SBs about your wife finding out, so that you have an easy way out, but convenient for cheaper ‘negotiations later, when she is desperate, and you are desperate to get laid, I guess)…I wonder why you also mentioned that they often flake and upgrade their deals that then leave you ‘sexless’. Perhaps, if you treated them more like a person, and less like a rotating stable horse, then that might not happen.

    I am no saint but believe that a true SD/SB relationship is about two people that want to make each other’s lives better and the communication is open and honest(especially, since you are married would hope a little honesty would be refreshing). What you are doing is not a SD/SB dynamic, in my opinion.

  565. Elaine says:

    “To wit; SB fortunes rise and fall. Often a better deal fades or flakes and you find yourself sexless in Sugarland . So you can go back to laid off SB and ask if she would like to get together for a bump and grind . But ! You can’t afford as much because of the SO, so maybe 1/2 X will work ? My experience has been the SB will jump at the chance to get back on the gravy train at a lower price . You have already set the stage for exit right again. Also ,if you desire a new addition to the stable the SO excuse works well to cut back on SB A to allow time for SB B,C,etc.”

    Waiting for Alexis to jump in now, about the typical “female” chess and games….

  566. gentle(man)soul says:

    @KMS

    “As far as the men who take well-intentioned true sugar babies and their youth for a few dollars, so that they can get a cheaper price than what they really are doing”

    LOL I knew I would get some outraged responses -thank you for that K.

    The facts are that most SBs out there (shock -I know) are just out for the do-re-mi. Every SB I have are better for the experience–that is ,they are treated with respect, loved,cherished, and counselled . My requirements are private time only due to my marital state and are made clear from the start . I have not dumped one baby–on the contrary have been the dumpee due to changing circumstances .

    I know that I have to attract a certain type of Baby who will signup for quiet time only. So maybe most of mine are UTR or of loose moral fiber . In fact ,truth be told ,I suspect most married guys on SA (meaning most SDs) have to limit how much “dating” they do publicly vs the bedroom exercises . And OTOH, most young SBs do not want to make it too public that they are on the arm of a man their Father or Grandfathers age anyway,hence their agreement to take it to the bedroom sooner rather than later .

  567. DomSB says:

    Brava KMS!

    You express yourself better as I can, but I totally agree on what you are stating here!
    Isn’t that what sugar should be?
    An enrichment of life for both?

    But those “gentlemen” seek only youth and sex for the best price.
    And make themselves feeling good by calling it “Sugar”.

    We know better….

  568. Kms2014 says:

    “gentle(man)soul says:
    September 3, 2014 at 11:44 am
    Analog Kid says:

    “I’m married and currently involved in (2) SB relationships. Both are simple p4p endeavors that both parties are completely happy with. Although I suspect one is a pro, it doesn’t bother me in the least. If she is …… she hides it beautifully. My question would be how to ease out of them diplomatically as I’m really only interested in short term encounters. For me …. once the thrill of the newness rubs off ……. it’s time to go. ”

    A common problem Analog. Here’s where being married helps . You tell them your wife is suspicious and is monitoring your time and money ,so you have to back off “for now” to protect them from drama (remember NSA) . They will be bummed to lose you (your money) but will be grateful they missed the bullet,and that you care enough not to get them involved in a messy situation. Also,”for now” leaves the door open for re engagement and renegotiation.

    To wit; SB fortunes rise and fall. Often a better deal fades or flakes and you find yourself sexless in Sugarland . So you can go back to laid off SB and ask if she would like to get together for a bump and grind . But ! You can’t afford as much because of the SO, so maybe 1/2 X will work ? My experience has been the SB will jump at the chance to get back on the gravy train at a lower price . You have already set the stage for exit right again. Also ,if you desire a new addition to the stable the SO excuse works well to cut back on SB A to allow time for SB B,C,etc.”

    Wouldn’t it be nice…and the right thing you do, while you are sucking up the youth of other women, which is priceless, by the way….to, oh, I don’t know, try and help mentor them and leave them in a better situation than when you found them, instead of referring to and treating them like rotating stable horses? Even stable horses get treated better long-term than what you are describing. I had a debate with a man who emailed me awhile back…telling me how he wanted to mentor and teach his SBs so that they could have a career, and get off the site, ASAP. I told him nicely that I already had an advanced degree and was doing what I enjoyed, and plan to teach college/secondary school again overseas, in a few years again, and that not all women need to start a career by their SD, on SA. He told me that my situation was different, but he respected my viewpoint, however, since he was so much older than most of these women, that he thought it unfair to them to just sleep with them for some monetary amount, then leave them without helping them to be in a better position financially, than before he met them. He thought that unfair…and asked me what kind of man would do such a thing? And, I agree. If you guys think it is cute to lie to your women, so that you can partake in various poonanny that rivals a variety bulk chip bag from Sam’s club, then more power to you. But, it seems that does not sit well to those with a little higher caliber of character, and certain Sugar Daddies actually understand that this lifestyle is not a p4p in theory, but a responsibility for BOTH parties to enrich the life of the other. (am not speaking of escorts or rinsers here, but true mistresses and sugar babies who are going into this thinking they are getting a real arrangement…not some guy who wants to lead them on, then dump them in a short period of time, or play silly games to get a ‘cheaper’ price down the road). As far as the men who take well-intentioned true sugar babies and their youth for a few dollars, so that they can get a cheaper price than what they really are doing(there are other sites for that), or even try to play games and break up with them and try to get a cheaper price from them later….well, some people don’t have a conscience, so is sad, when I read things like this.

  569. nicegirl says:

    Alexis – stay on point and you won’t be so “chameleon” like.

  570. nicegirl says:

    I really liked this topic – the “L” word is always the complicated thing particularly with younger women. If a relationship goes on LT it is easy to confuse lust, sex and companionship with being “in love” . This is where a married SD would be better off with a married SB so they both have equal at stake.

  571. Alexis says:

    “They can yell at you, or cry…hang up on you. But, that is the worst….don’t be scared of a little phone call 😉 Jalexis, you know I love you (: xx”

    I just don’t wish to put up with that type of drama and stress. It has nothing to do with fear. It has to do with serenity. Also, there is no “J” in front of my name. Was that supposed to be an accusation that I’m Jacob now too? lol

    “To be honest, you fooled me for a while….”

    That doesn’t even make SENSE. I fooled you for a while with what?? You thought I was a guy? Why because I’m not a feminazi clone? Oh well excuse me lol, so glad you’re unfooled now.

    *shrugs*

    “Elaine, Kms2014, yougottabeafigmentifyoudonttoethepartyline believe that you are a female figment of some male’s imagination.”

    None of them are SMs so it’s pretty irrelevant what they believe.

    So let’s see:
    First I’m SunshinePerson, then I’m “naive” and “inexperienced”, then I became a figment, and now I’m apparently a guy.

    Damn, aren’t I one hell of a chameleon! It’s almost to mystical proportions at this point lol… so hilarious.

  572. gentle(man)soul says:

    Question for the Married guys ( and sneaky girls ) ?

    Any suggestions about a public meeting location in one’s hometown ? Meeting new Pots for me is fraught with hazard since so many people know me and I can’t risk being spotted with a nubile lass 1/3 my age. I do not have a business reason to meet them. What say you ?

  573. gentle(man)soul says:

    Analog Kid says:

    “I’m married and currently involved in (2) SB relationships. Both are simple p4p endeavors that both parties are completely happy with. Although I suspect one is a pro, it doesn’t bother me in the least. If she is …… she hides it beautifully. My question would be how to ease out of them diplomatically as I’m really only interested in short term encounters. For me …. once the thrill of the newness rubs off ……. it’s time to go. ”

    A common problem Analog. Here’s where being married helps . You tell them your wife is suspicious and is monitoring your time and money ,so you have to back off “for now” to protect them from drama (remember NSA) . They will be bummed to lose you (your money) but will be grateful they missed the bullet,and that you care enough not to get them involved in a messy situation. Also,”for now” leaves the door open for re engagement and renegotiation.

    To wit; SB fortunes rise and fall. Often a better deal fades or flakes and you find yourself sexless in Sugarland . So you can go back to laid off SB and ask if she would like to get together for a bump and grind . But ! You can’t afford as much because of the SO, so maybe 1/2 X will work ? My experience has been the SB will jump at the chance to get back on the gravy train at a lower price . You have already set the stage for exit right again. Also ,if you desire a new addition to the stable the SO excuse works well to cut back on SB A to allow time for SB B,C,etc.

  574. Josh says:

    @Jacob

    “No promise of paradise”

    Oh c’mon. What’s up with the promise stuff. Almighty should just give her a teensy winsy part of the paradise, she would not know how large the paradise is.

    And what’s up with “realistic”. The almighty should say it is and it shall be. 😉

  575. Josh says:

    @flyR

    Even though I am not a big serial eater, I am not for too much sugar in my serial either. Adding fruit does the trick for me. 😉

  576. Jacob says:

    No promise of paradise, just realistic solutions to avoid potential upcoming train wrecks in the not too distant future in a few years. I have had SB’s from years ago contact me and “innocently” asking “my advice” on whether she should consider having a baby after she turned 30 (she didn’t have a boyfriend, and the question was asked just after inviting me over for sex, “for old time’s sake”); then those paying just a little too much attention to the discarded wrapper after intimacy. Being single and successful, I am facing significant sperm-jacking risk. Willingness to accommodate a flexible duration, depending on the girl’s suitability, from those merely experimenting to a stable year-long sugarship to genetic union, is simply a flexible solution to optimize outcome and making sure any innocent 3rd party is well taken care of, cared for and given the best opportunities a priori . . . as well as keeping the relationship honest.

  577. flyR says:

    I’m not into serial sugar for personal reasons but I understand that some are.

    I have found a surprisingly large number of SB’s when presented with -” I will be vacationing or working in x area and would love to have someone to share rafting, dinners etc and intimate times if that’s of interest. We have established that it is for a period of time and intimate. All play and no hurt feelings. Really no different that chatting up a non sugar with the comment that you are headed for some place

  578. Jacob says:

    Correction: the expression for 2nd and 3rd generation feminism should have been “harpies in the living room and prude in the bedroom.” Didn’t mean to offend any nuns among the SB’s. LOL.

  579. Kms2014 says:

    Whatever, sunshineofyourlocalchildservicesdepartment…I’m sure she is as real as your utopian baby paradise 😉

  580. Jacob says:

    I’m willing to give Alexis being a real woman the benefit of the doubt. Calm and sensible women do exist, and they are hot in bed. The proverbial maiden in the living room and whore in the bedroom . . . as opposed the 2nd and 3rd wave feminist ideal of harpies in the living room and nun in the bedroom. LOL.

  581. Kms2014 says:

    No…don’t think you are Jalexis, Jacob. Should have said, Jolexis…Someone else, but just a theory. But hey, whomever is having fun with her, I reckon is their business (:

  582. Jacob says:

    I think the only fair way to settle this is for all four ladies to give us their profile#’s. Fatty, are you there? LOL.

    “Jalexis, you know I love you (: xx”

    Thank you for extending olive branch; likewise, I should let you know that if we had met here 10-15 years ago, I would have asked you out already. Well, then you would have rejected me, because I was a college and grad school brain-washed WhiteKnight idiot back then having no clue what women really want. In any case, snapping out of the reverie here, back to reality, I know what you are trying to imply, but I really have no idea who Alexis is.

  583. Josh says:

    @Alexis

    Elaine, Kms2014, yougottabeafigmentifyoudonttoethepartyline believe that you are a female figment of some male’s imagination.

    Who else believes that Alexis is a figment? 😉

  584. Elaine says:

    @ Alexis

    “Really, why does my femininity have to be attacked just because I disagree with a woman? Is it just too much to comprehend that not all women are clones?”

    To be honest, you fooled me for a while….

  585. Kms2014 says:

    They can yell at you, or cry…hang up on you. But, that is the worst….don’t be scared of a little phone call 😉 Jalexis, you know I love you (: xx

  586. Josh says:

    @Alexis

    “I’m a woman.”

    Really! I had thought you were a figment. 😉

  587. Alexis says:

    “Perhaps, instead of written communication, a phone call?”

    Yes, this can work. It depends on the woman. I would prefer just an email. Also, as a SB I have certain personal guidelines that prevent any need for even an email. It would be considerate/courteous though if a man did select to do so.

  588. Alexis says:

    “It’s a woman’s inalienable right to blame–anything that happens (or does not happen) to her–on one man, a group of men or the whole MANkind.”

    OFGS lol, I’m a human being. If I screw up, I screw up. It’s not anyone else’s fault. It’s called TAKING ACCOUNTABILITY.

  589. Kms2014 says:

    “Alexis says:
    September 3, 2014 at 6:55 am
    “We want to be clearly told it is over, personal, not via sms or email.”

    I have to disagree with this. First of all and in my experience, it is NEVER a good idea to tell a woman it’s over in person lol.

    Secondly, there is just no way I would want to be told in person either. What a pain in the arse to take time out of my schedule, have to get ready for a date, think all is well, and then be told it’s all been concluded. Not to mention the awkwardness to remove myself from the situation!

    Some form of written communication is much more preferable.

    Again, in my experience it is just NEVER worth the stress to let a woman go in person. Only a very select few can handle it well.”

    Hmm, I agree, in-person communication might be a little too much, if it involves a proper date…like you said, getting ready for the date, ect….Perhaps, instead of written communication, a phone call? A little more personable than text or email, in my opinion… Think the poster who mentioned this just meant the men who dissappear like they died, and then when you ask them if everything is okay, they respond with a cold text or email that they are done with you…

  590. Alexis says:

    Elaine hun lol, I’m a woman.

    *sighs again*

    Really, why does my femininity have to be attacked just because I disagree with a woman? Is it just too much to comprehend that not all women are clones?

    Ahhhhh lol, so uhg.

  591. Elaine says:

    “I have to disagree with this. First of all and in my experience, it is NEVER a good idea to tell a woman it’s over in person lol.”

    No, ok, but that is from your male point of view!

  592. Jacob says:

    Analog,
    Since you asked, what do you think of the following idea: start arrangement of preset durations without automatic renewal expectations? Like a 3 month lease contract with exclusion of tenant at will at the end unless both parties agree to another 3 month lease. As for easing out the current ones, how about suggesting monthly nonrenewable lease? Ie. There should not be expectation of automatic renewal after the current month.

  593. Jacob says:

    Yes, duration match is important. It’s not an easy one. I often find SB wanting longer arrangement later than they initially set out to have.

  594. Josh says:

    “The girl loses control of herself and somehow it’s the guy that is creating trouble and drama? That’s some BS right there.”

    The misogynist men who wrote the constitution of the United States intentionally missed the following:
    “It’s a woman’s inalienable right to blame–anything that happens (or does not happen) to her–on one man, a group of men or the whole MANkind.”

  595. Jacob says:

    Jj, please read my last comment to the old thread. I do not wish to bring that discussion to this thread.

  596. Alexis says:

    “And in non-sugar dating as well as sugar, guys like that are creating trouble and drama, all to avoid a simple apology and statement that things are not working out. I have seen major, major drama, where guys lost friends, other relationships, and even jobs because some guy acquaintance did that to some girl acquaintance he was dating or sleeping with, and that girl flipped out.”

    WHAT??? lol are you serious?? Dang

    The girl loses control of herself and somehow it’s the guy that is creating trouble and drama? That’s some BS right there.

    *sighs*

  597. Alexis says:

    “We want to be clearly told it is over, personal, not via sms or email.”

    I have to disagree with this. First of all and in my experience, it is NEVER a good idea to tell a woman it’s over in person lol.

    Secondly, there is just no way I would want to be told in person either. What a pain in the arse to take time out of my schedule, have to get ready for a date, think all is well, and then be told it’s all been concluded. Not to mention the awkwardness to remove myself from the situation!

    Some form of written communication is much more preferable.

    Again, in my experience it is just NEVER worth the stress to let a woman go in person. Only a very select few can handle it well.

  598. Josh says:

    “Guys who do this, do not deserve to call themselves gentlemen.”

    A woman needs months of training and licensing to cut a man’s hair. But she does not need a lick of anything to declare him unworthy of being a gentleman.

    If men stopped caring what women though of them, they would live a much happier life.

    And that involves the women they are in a “relationship” with. 😉

  599. Josh says:

    I am not suggesting that it’s alright for SDs to spoof. Far from it. I have covered the consequences under the “revenge” section of my writ-up on blackmail. I just haven’t had time to proofread it on a bigger screen yet.

  600. Josh says:

    Oh just calm down already, will ya?

    SB poofing is a fairly common phenomenon as well. But because of typical SB’s station in life she doesn’t have much to lose other than the allowance.

    But wait…when the guy is losing money it’s “just money” but when the gal is losing money it’s an “emotional” loss and hence laden with drama. Did I get this right? 😉

  601. Follow My Lead says:

    Analog Kid:
    “I certainly don’t want to be a dick about it either as that’s just not me. Of course laying this out on the table initially would result in most women storming out of our 1st date so that’s obviously never discussed.”

    Maybe you should change your name to “Fly by Night”? What you described is the definition of being a total dick. There are women wanting long-term arrangements, and that are not for you, so don’t contact women making it clear that you are not compatible. But when browsing female profiles, I have seen many women simply wanting an influx of cash in the now. Some of them seem to be high end escorts. Some of them are young single mothers dealing with surprise emergencies. Some are young women essentially looking for an “angel investor” to help with a project, or someone to help with something beyond their means, like moving expenses or a new car. Some of them are college girls in a panic because they have a couple of months until more financial aid comes in, and bills won’t wait… or maybe they just want a real spring break or summer vacation. Why piss off clearly mismatched women, when you could be a hero to someone in temporary need?

    Elaine:
    “Don’t piss her off by trying to silently disappear when you want to end the arrangement.
    I know it is a male tactic to try to disappear and wait till the storm is over.
    But this storm will NOT pass silently, few things outrage women more as this technique does!
    It’s a guarantee for drama.
    And a confused and angry SB.
    Few married SDs want drama or an very upset ex SB.

    We want to be clearly told it is over, personal, not via sms or email.
    As one blog SD suggested some time ago, give her an extra months allowance, don’t leave her without a cent from one day to another.”

    OMG, yes Elaine! Guys who do this, do not deserve to call themselves gentlemen. Sure, they may justify the behavior by telling themselves that it was NSA, but they do damage and possibly create baggage by leading on SBs. At what point is the SB supposed to assume it’s over: A few days? A couple of weeks? Whenever the next allowance is due, but isn’t there? I have been personally put in a unwanted situations, because of this type of behavior. Like SD and I agree to an arrangement, allowance is given, and we have a fun couple of weeks/month together. He disappears, possibly after telling me that he’s very busy and will call next week, don’t worry about allowance, etc… in the meantime, a former SD may resurface, or new potential SDs, and I tell them that sorry, I have someone in my life and am not looking right now. After I determine that SD has officially vanished, those other opportunities have flown and I’m not only stuck without the promised allowance, but have to start the search over again. If those guys had behaved like responsible, grown men, we could have both had better opportunities.

    And in non-sugar dating as well as sugar, guys like that are creating trouble and drama, all to avoid a simple apology and statement that things are not working out. I have seen major, major drama, where guys lost friends, other relationships, and even jobs because some guy acquaintance did that to some girl acquaintance he was dating or sleeping with, and that girl flipped out. I felt very sorry for some of these guys, because they really lost a lot, and and totally had their lives disrupted, maybe even ruined in one case where he was married (the wife and kids suffered, which is wrong on so many levels). So you can imagine that it would have to be really bad for me to feel deep sympathy for the type of jerks who were too selfish to spend ten minutes cleaning up their relationship messes, or just properly ending things.

  602. Jj says:

    Great post Kirsten…. and another future post would be for baby to understand #1 is daddy when together and he will treat her as #1 as well. This “teaching” shyiet is getting old for me; whoever suggested it times past… just say’n

    SunshineyJocobyof your……. give it a rest will ya… you, again, brought the “kid” into the discussion equation and I am not the only one here to cringe at your reflex action…. you are way too proud of yourself for whatever… and need to get over yourself… nuff said!!!!!
    “Oh good grief!!!!” ‘u know who…..’

  603. Elaine says:

    “Keeping our SDs safe = high priority”

    I would say TOP priority!

    You really don’t want to find yourself in the middle of a family drama.
    End apart from that, wife discovering = end of arrangement and SD.

    So hotel on SD CC, the plane tickets and other travelling costs on my CC and SD reimburses.

    About the blackmail, yes good point Josh!

    Although, again in this case, very good screening might help avoiding this risk.
    As do LT relationships.
    The risk for blackmail after a one night p4p without any personal bond, is much higher I think.
    Sugar with a married partner should always been based upon mutual trust, but in case both have something to lose, the risk for problems is much lower.

    What SD would want to risk his marriage or status, and what SB would want to risk to lose sugar?

    AMy advice to SD’s that want to reduce the risk for drama or blackmailing at the end of an arrangement:

    Don’t piss her off by trying to silently disappear when you want to end the arrangement.
    I know it is a male tactic to try to disappear and wait till the storm is over.
    But this storm will NOT pass silently, few things outrage women more as this technique does!
    It’s a guarantee for drama.
    And a confused and angry SB.
    Few married SDs want drama or an very upset ex SB.

    We want to be clearly told it is over, personal, not via sms or email.
    As one blog SD suggested some time ago, give her an extra months allowance, don’t leave her without a cent from one day to another.

    The more correct you handle this phase, the less risk for drama and blackmail…

  604. Analog Kid says:

    I’m married and currently involved in (2) SB relationships. Both are simple p4p endeavors that both parties are completely happy with. Although I suspect one is a pro, it doesn’t bother me in the least. If she is …… she hides it beautifully. My question would be how to ease out of them diplomatically as I’m really only interested in short term encounters. For me …. once the thrill of the newness rubs off ……. it’s time to go. I certainly don’t want to be a dick about it either as that’s just not me. Of course laying this out on the table initially would result in most women storming out of our 1st date so that’s obviously never discussed.

  605. Josh says:

    @Carmen

    “Any advice on how to clarify that we are not in a “regular” boyfriend/ girlfriend relationship and to keep his expectations in check?”

    Hold his balls in your hands when you tell him just that. If he disagrees the squeeze them so that they hurt. He will understand that you meant “business”

    Wives do that very successfuly all the times.

    Next question for “Ask Josh” please? 😉

  606. Jacob says:

    Be careful about using work email. Most employment contracts have disclosure clause regarding employee should not expect privacy in work email. It’s a way for bosses to review employees as well as covering their own asses if an IT employee decide to mine the data.

  607. Carmen says:

    Although I don’t think I could partake in a relationship with a married man unless it was an open marriage I can definitely see the advantages. It seems much easier to keep the relationship boundaries intact when there’s the incentive of keeping the marriage intact.
    My current SD seems to be falling a bit too hard for me and is starting to talk about “feelings” and how he hasn’t felt this way about anyone for years. Any advice on how to clarify that we are not in a “regular” boyfriend/ girlfriend relationship and to keep his expectations in check?

  608. Sierra says:

    The other thing i would add is :
    Use a dedicated email for your SB to speak to you, avoid text.
    Use a routine and be super reliable :)
    Use a generosity giving method thats best for you both.
    And be happy :)

  609. Sierra says:

    Thats a great blog post, and why the SB who is into it as a lifestyle can be such a lovely partner for the otherwise commited man :)We enjoy our space and freedom also !!!.
    Good boundaries give good happy relationships :)

  610. KD says:

    Wow, this is so completely the opposite of being with my SD and he is married but makes no effort to hide it. For his own family’s personal reasons which are not mine to mention here, it seems to work just fine. I know the wife is aware of me and I’d seen her a couple of times at events. I’m not sure I could do the hiding and running around like talked about in the post. I guess to each their own.

  611. Alexis says:

    Kirsten, this was just lovely!

    I especially liked, “Always, always, always make sure your tracks are covered. Get a disposable phone, clear browser history – whatever it takes to ensure you are safe in the arrangement.”

    Keeping our SDs safe = high priority

  612. lana says:

    I need such sugar daddys

  613. XOXO says:

    There is an award winning movie director on SA. He is married. He wanted to fly me in. However, he wanted to mail me the allowance ahead of time. He wanted me to book the hotel, the flight, EVERYTHING, which I never had to do and quiet frankly, that freaked me out. In the end, I didn’t go through with it. That whole arrangement was too much work for me, especially since I could tell he was not wanting to be generous. I try to avoid married SDs.

  614. sexyrockstar says:

    In IL, and other states, there are tollways. So, we took MY car if we were passing through a tollway to get to whereever we needed to go. This way, his IPASS wouldn’t be shown. Just mine.

  615. sexyrockstar says:

    My last SD was married. Any allowance was always, ALWAYS in cash. I always had money for hotel rooms, so it was always under MY name, and he gave me money for it once I saw him. Dinner was always paid through his buisness card, never personal. I would never dare to wear any purfume of the sorts. My make up was always kept light, so no make-up would accidently smear all over him.

    Whenever he did get me a gift, he had told me, he had to get his wife something too. You know, for whatever reason she looked at his bank statement. This way, she thinks her gift was more expensive then it actually is. Funny how I walked away with a $500 dollar coach purse, and she got a small coach wallet. Some of those wallets can be expensive…so, just an idea there.

    Him and I only exchanged emails through his work email. Never a phone call, or text, or an email through his personal one.

  616. Josh says:

    @Kirsten,

    I know you can’t talk about it but I can…

    Fifth Best Practice: Never Get Blackmailed…comin’ right up. 😉

  617. Josh says:

    Oops…

    Sorry folks I had forgotten the sacred and patriotic declaration of the “Virgin blog!”

    So there! 😉

  618. Josh says:

    Good job Kirsten!

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