3 years ago
Seeking Arrangement and Personal Safety

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There is no doubt about it, danger is sexy. But when it comes to any sort of online dating, safety should be your number one concern. I wish staying safe in the modern world was as simple as parents warning you in high school, “don’t drink or do drugs,” but reality paints a different picture.  The world can be a scary place. We all need to be cautious

Once messages are exchanged between you and a potential Sugar Daddy or Momma, building trust should be your top priority.

Protect Your Privacy

When you create your SeekingArrangment profile, make sure to never include personal information such as your address, phone number, or full name. Keep your profile simple. Explain what you are looking for, and add a description of yourself that makes you stand out from the crowd. Please do not link any social media networks directly to your profile, as this is prohibited.

Another great option in protecting your privacy, is to give out a disposable phone number or Google voice number to new people. I would recommend only giving out your main number to people you trust.

Background Check

If you are new to the Sugar lifestyle, and are apprehensive about who you meet via online dating, SeekingArrangement’s Background Check option, fueled by TClogiQ,  is perfect for you. I would make sure you only look for a possible Daddy or Momma who is background check verified. SeekingArrangement’s background check includes performing various other traces, and verifies the user does not have any criminal history on their record.

Verify Through Other Platforms

Searching the internet can be your best friend in finding a potential match. When it comes to the online dating realm always do your research, Nancy Drew style. Once you feel comfortable with your Sugar Daddy or Momma, ask them if they are comfortable revealing their full name so you can do a little research of your own. You may have to do some digging, but typically search engines will provide some sort of insight. Try scoping out any social media platforms they could be on – Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn are great starting points.

Meet in a Public Space

One should always ‘proceed with caution’ on a first date. Always meet in a public place. As a rule of thumb, meet in a public space for your first three dates. Meeting publicly allows for trust to be built, without the addition of the physical aspect to your arrangement. This way, you get to know who your Sugar Daddy or Momma is as a person.

Personal safety should be your number one priority when using SeekingArrangement. This should come before money, your desires and even your own feelings. Using caution while perusing SeekingArrangement can lead to successful arrangements for all parties involved.

Happy in Spring

Leave a Reply

97 Responses to “Seeking Arrangement and Personal Safety”

  1. Koala bear says:

    I like to hear a lot advice coz i’m related.

  2. J says:

    There is an interesting balance between security and discretion…

    I do not ask for real names from a pot SB, until I think I would like to talk about an arrangement with her…I do not offer my real name to a pot SB, until I think I would like to talk about an arrangement with her. If she asks my real name, and I’m not ready to discuss an arrangement, she gets the “just call me J for now”.

    If a pot SB ever requested meeting somewhere other than a public place, it would be a red flag to me…and if she wants to jump between the sheets on the first meeting, it’s another red flag…

  3. chanti says:

    Hi,
    As I have been on this site a while, I had to find out if being in a wheelchair is something that would stop me from becoming a sugar baby. I have tried to find out about wheelchairs and the sugar world but could not find anything. So I was hoping to get some opinions/tips from here.

    Thanks a lot.

  4. FatB'StardSD says:

    @42SWM

    “Why respond to me if you aren’t going to address the premise of mutual risk?”

    I am a Bastard!

    “Why pick an argument with a person on a blog over addressing the actual issue?”

    I am a Bastard!

  5. A says:

    Thanks for the article, good advice. I’m really new to being a sugar baby and have only had one date so far so it is still a bit daunting. I would agree about meeting up somewhere in public, I wouldn’t feel safe meeting someone for the first time somewhere private, although I can see the problem for married Sugar daddies close to their home. I think the only thing I can add to the debate about being safe as a sugar baby from my one date is take condoms with you, don’t rely on the sugar daddy to bring them.

  6. 42SWM says:

    @FB: As repeatedly stated above, unless one party is married, I don’t see why a SD would be more vulnerable/afraid of being outed than a SB would be.
    Why respond to me if you aren’t going to address the premise of mutual risk? Why pick an argument with a person on a blog over addressing the actual issue?

  7. Ms. Jeri says:

    There is a picture over my name that looks like that of a Man, I’m a Woman seeking a Man…

  8. Kms2014 says:

    I said interesting, not boastful or extraordinary 😉

  9. Josh says:

    Kms2014, I beg to differ. If anything, FB makes pretty self depricating statements about himself.

  10. Kms2014 says:

    I’m sure people on blog would love to see the man behind the ATM, lol! And, you do say some interesting things, in regards to your arrangements 😉

  11. FatB'StardSD says:

    @Kms2014

    I never said that being outed as a one time SD is not a big deal to me and I don’t make extraordinary claims about the arrangements I have had. My name and/or profile would not be of benefit to anyone.

    Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence.

  12. Kms2014 says:

    Fbeestard…you are always wanting others to post their personal info and profile number…how about you first?….’to thine own self be true, fbeestard-th’, haha!

  13. FatB'StardSD says:

    @42SWM

    “The women I know on SA would be truly horrified to be outed. I would be merely annoyed.”

    Trying to sound like Shakespeare does not mean you are not full of shit. Being outed does not seem to matter to you so it should not be a big deal to post your name and profile number.

    You should post more about the gender wars,

  14. aliceS says:

    Josh it is. But some people are just or greedy or crazy. Both of them lack of patience anyway. I’m lucky I haven’t met anyone like this in here

  15. aliceS says:

    I don’t need to worry about that part, I don’t have anyone but I heard that sd tried to blackmail one sb sitting in front of her house, calling her job, telling that she is sb on her fb etc. I don’t remember her login name. And before one girl said something sd refused to accept that the arrangement is over and tried to blackmail her as well by calling her mother

  16. Kms2014 says:

    Baby bear…probably SunshineSD in disguise, lol!

  17. 42SWM says:

    @FB:

    Your “experiment” is as one-side and lacking in mutuality as your comparative analysis before it. You are purposely failing to address my point—that both parties typically want to hide the general public, friends, etc. from the fact that they are on SA. Proposing purposeful unilateral stupidity is not a good faith approach to the discussion.

    Married SD’s aside, it is not obvious that most SDs are particularly vulnerable to being outed by SBs. There are many double standards in the gender wars, some benefit women and some benefit men. I think an unmarried woman fears being labelled a whore far more than unmarried man fears being labelled a John. Who would a SB approach in person to spread the word about an unmarried SD? If we are talking about an online scenario, how often to co-workers, friends, family, etc. of a SD Google the SD’s name to see what they can find out online about the SD?

    A good SD/SB relationship should have mutuality of risk as well as mutuality of benefit. If I was a married SD, I think I would limit myself to married SB or get off the site completely. That is where the lack of mutuality is truly significant.

  18. FatB'StardSD says:

    @42SWM

    How about an experiment then to get some more data points?

    What is your real name and SA profile number?

  19. Spoonfuldeazucar says:

    Thanks Elaine! I will send you one shortly! :)

  20. 42SWM says:

    The determination of worse, equal, or better requires comparative data points. You give only one part of the equation.

    The women I know on SA would be truly horrified to be outed. I would be merely annoyed.

  21. FatB'StardSD says:

    “I think the social stigma of being on SA may actually worse for women than it is for men.”

    Next time you are on a non SA date (assuming you even bother) bring up your SA activities. My guess is that your lovely lady will make The Flash look like he runs in slow motion.

  22. 42SWM says:

    Is anyone on here aware of a situation where a SB or SD tried to blackmail someone else on the site? While the topic is personal security, the core issue for most SD’s is really not one of safety so much as it is threat of disclosure. Like many people here, I have come across some blatant bad behavior as well as some people who were just too financially desperate for me to feel comfortable around. I am divorced, have my own business, but am miles away from being a public figure.

    After being on this site for 2.5 years, I have never had anyone so much as even hint at the possibility of of trying to blackmail me or otherwise “out” my activities on SA/WYP. More than a handful of people whom I have met on this site are my friends on FB. I think the social stigma of being on SA may actually worse for women than it is for men.

    Have I just been lucky? Does anyone have any insightful stories that they would care to share?

  23. Baby bear says:

    Lol. I wish I had time to learn another! Maybe one day.

  24. aliceS says:

    Well since everyone is bragging about languages, I am fluent almost in 6 ha beat ya all 😉

  25. Baby bear says:

    English is now my primary language but when I’m tired I still think in or revert back to my native tongue

  26. Baby bear says:

    In order of learning them/becoming fluent

  27. DarkHorseSD says:

    Do you order your languages in order of the moment you became fluent, started learning, alphabetically, or other? In inverse order or not?

  28. Baby bear says:

    @Elaine I’m fluent in 5 languages, English being my third….

  29. Elaine says:

    @baby bear, I am Elaine and not KMS.

    English is my third language of four.
    As most bloggers know.
    So if you would call that ignorance, no problem to me.
    May I ask how many languages you are fluent in?

    Haha, and how ignorant some thinking I am a native North American.
    If you guys don’t see the vocabulary difference between me and KMS…..

  30. Baby bear says:

    Wow, that escalated quickly.

    And Elaine, or kms, or whoever you are! It would really surprise me if you genuinely attract the calibre of SD that you claim when you say things like CONVERSATE. Ignorance isn’t a good shade on you

  31. DarkHorseSD says:

    MM wrote: “Background checks are well and good however most of us would question the idea of giving out our personal information to a website anyway. Not to mention you could be a complete nutter who simply doesn’t have a criminal record etc so therefore background checked all good, personality still scary!”

    True. Background checks are of tertiary value.

    “Personally I would prefer lots of email and phone chats, slowly get to know each other before even meeting, this isn’t just to ensure personal security but also if any personality clashes or problems arise they can be dealt with at a distance rather than finding out later on.”

    Very true. It usually doesn’t take long for a sick personality to surface, and you are still writing via SA messaging.

    “Whilst browsing SB’s on Seeking Arrangement it doesn’t take long to work out which ones are fake or gold diggers (irony I guess given the nature of the site) and which women are just wanting something different.

    Some profile types I avoid like the plague are;

    * Anything where the woman promises or boasts about her sexual prowess.
    * Profiles that feature the woman naked or near naked, including lingerie shots etc
    * Profiles where the woman is expecting anything higher than Practical.
    * Profiles where it is obvious the woman thinks this is all about her and although making it clear that she expects a lot does not mention what she can offer in return.”

    Have you found any profiles NOT to avoid on SA? 😉

  32. Spoonfuldeazucar says:

    For the love of Pete, if you decide to run a background check on someone yourself, make sure it is a legitimate service. I ran a background check on myself once just to see if a site was “100% accurate” like stated, and it came back with my name at the right address, but with a woman’s record of drug possession who was 20+ years older than me, but hey, I was making about $50K more a year, apparently.

    I agree with Elaine & KMS…sugar can be a lonely bowl. Wish I could find a friend to share sugar experiences with/give/get advice from! What I find funny is a lot of SDs (probably fakes) have no problem sharing with their friends about their SB(s), talk loudly in public about the arrangement, or even posting a picture with them somewhere on the web (like on their current SA profiles), but want the SB to be discreet and not do any of that. I run for the hills if I get a sense that might be the case, or if the pot SD is lying to me.

  33. Josh says:

    I kept wondering for months that something was up with his personality that not many girls were taking him up on his most generous retirement plans. Now we know why.

  34. FatB'StardSD says:

    @SunShineSD

    “There is nothing hilarious about running online scams. No, I don’t bring any girl home before already having intimacy with her somewhere else on previous dates. If you want to compare what takes place between two consenting adults to what pedophiles do with kids, you may as well compare your own activity to statutory rape . . . or interstate trafficking of prostitution for that matter.”

    Getting better!

  35. Kms2014 says:

    Just weird and crazy….

  36. Josh says:

    “Your posts are getting much more interesting! Keep up the good work!”

    No kidding! 😉

  37. “Wow! The censorship ended sooner than I had anticipated.”

    Then along came SunShineSD…

    “Unless you have been with your “friend” in the same room, you wouldn’t be able to tell that online personality as a real SB vs. hypotehtical male pimp handling a bunch of middle-aged drug whores.”

    SunShine, friend, im growing more and more concerned about your state, but Im not sure that there is anything that mere mortals can do for you. I’m going to say a special prayer for you to the blog gods, since clearly they exist.

    Dear Blog Gods,

    Please forgive SunshineSD’s atrocities, for he knows not what he does. Cast the evil demons from his heart, and paranoia from his mind. And lead him not into temptation of the many voices that reside within his mind, but deliver him from delirium and the evil hissings of his damned tongue. May his namesake shine, not through the gaping sphincter of his ass, but through rational and relevant thoughts. Tighten his sphincter, and widen his mind so that we may all joyfully bask in the rays of SunShine and sensibility. In your oh so gracious power, please have mercy on this fool. For the love of someone’s god…

    yougottabekiddingme

  38. Kms2014 says:

    Just the usual crazy rants from SSD….apparently, have caused a lot of narcissistic injury to him, as he is raging on me and making crazy accusations….

  39. Elaine says:

    My God….

    Don’t believe this discussion is really taking place!

  40. FatB'StardSD says:

    @SunShineSD

    “…wanting an overpriced weekend with a drug-whore is just right! Is that your new marketing tagline?”

    “If you want to wake up between 3am and 6am to bash other posters and force SA staff’s hand to censor or even close down the blog, I’m content to play along the trajectory just so that we hear less of your marketing spiel.”

    “Regarding posting time, I did take a look at the posting time stamps from the both of you. Neither of you have consistent sleep patterns that would prevent posting to this blog regardless what time zone you live in, unless you claim to be living on a plane circling the planet.”

    Your posts are getting much more interesting! Keep up the good work!

  41. SunShineSD says:

    There is nothing hilarious about running online scams. No, I don’t bring any girl home before already having intimacy with her somewhere else on previous dates. If you want to compare what takes place between two consenting adults to what pedophiles do with kids, you may as well compare your own activity to statutory rape . . . or interstate trafficking of prostitution for that matter.

  42. Kms2014 says:

    Yes, your ‘sharp’ ‘sober’ mind thought I was stalking your SA profile with my 37 year old profile! Lol!! My profile does not even say 37….nice try! hahaha! This is just hilarious….and, you want to store pot in your cellar, like wine? Is that like a pedophile stocking candy in his van, in regards to entrapping young college girls to your home? Hahaha! Sorry, will go back to ignoring you now, but couldn’t resist that one!

  43. SunShineSD says:

    Not all druggies sleep till noon; some wake up at odd times of the day and night. Druggies are also prone to making up excuses on the stop that somewhat make sense to his/her own enfeebled mind but look silly to a sober sharp mind with good grasp of statistics.

    BTW, I don’t actually object to drugs per se; I’m actually an advocate for legalizing drugs. In personal relationships, however, I have come to realize that for people not having sufficient income/wealth to easily feed a drug dependency, the company one has to keep and length that one has to go through to secure drug supply while it is illegal tend to be too damaging to the person after a few years to make her a suitable partner in much of anything besides dealing drugs and other illicit activities. LOL. When pot becomes legal, I may well stock pot just like I stock wine collection now (not for my personal consumption per se), so that whoever I date can get it from me without having to hang out with the wrong company when high.

  44. Kms2014 says:

    Sunshine Sd, that one night/early morning you were/are referring to was when I was very sick with a cold last week, had been sleeping all day(on cold medication, not hallucinating drugs, lol!)…anyway, I woke up very early. Not that it is any of your business, but so what if I do get up between 3-6 a.m.? Some people do, and I used to get up at 5:00 a.m. all the time with an old job. Usually, people on drugs do not wake up before 12:00 noon each day, yes? You would know, due to your ex SB who used her allowance money for drugs and drug parties, so……anyway, now that I have cleared this up. Please, please, stop addressing me. I am not Elaine, so I did not respond to you yesterday over whenever you are speaking of. Okay, get it? Thanks once again…

  45. SunShineSD says:

    “Most of my SD are moving in the same circles….the world is a village these days…
    So I dont think I would have lasted long in sugar if I were not super discrete!”

    Which is all the more puzzling why one in that situation would share photos of SD’s with an online personality, which may well have been concocted.

    Regarding posting time, I did take a look at the posting time stamps from the both of you. Neither of you have consistent sleep patterns that would prevent posting to this blog regardless what time zone you live in, unless you claim to be living on a plane circling the planet. KMS’ description about not having a life and spending all time on the blog applies well to the person punching in those time stamps. For someone living in Europe, the choices of media outlets to verify SD’s were rather strange and way too American.

  46. Elaine says:

    @ Sunshine,

    Thank you for the compliment of thinking I am from Northern America.
    And immagine; English is only my third language of 4! :-)
    So obviously all this “useless” language studies are paying back! Haha
    Funny how you are not able to identify the difference in my writing and KMS’s.

    And how I wish I was beautiful and young as KMS, unfortunally I am not….

    MY supposed sleepless nights in fact are full day here haha.
    I sleep like a baby, when you guys are online.

    And no, you cannot seriously mean I am contacting your profile!
    My God, I thought you were strange but intelligent and real.
    Now I start thinking you are stone crazy!
    And paranoid (10 times the countries average! LOL)

    Do you really think she is going to make holograms of MY SD?
    Or blackmail them, based upon one never published private picture she has seen?
    Come on! And if, IF! I were the blackmail type, I could do that very well myself!

    Obviously you don’t know, but in certain circles people know each other.
    Most of my SD are moving in the same circles….the world is a village these days…
    So I dont think I would have lasted long in sugar if I were not super discrete!

    Ask Josh if you have doubts about my identity.
    If he is the computer wizz I think he is, by now he knows my identity.
    Or Tequila, who knows because I have been a little nonchalant about with identity.

  47. SunShineSD says:

    @KMS

    Thank you for practicing self-criticism. Every single word you dished out applied even better to yourself. You are the one who keep bringing up how you prefer things and put down other people every time some bring their own sugar experience. As for having a real life, I’m not the one who has a tendency to get on the blog between 3am and 6am to bash other posters. For what it’s worth, I spent the entire day yesterday with friends and family. Like I said before, if you don’t want to be addressed, stop addressing me. Your silly marketing game and scams are not working.

  48. SunShineSD says:

    “First: I was never asked and have never promised confidentially, that is an unspoken Gentleman’s agreemement I just keep.
    Second: I have never reveiled ANY identity. Just a picture and a first letter.”

    Your marketing angle/promise was that highly paid mature SB’s are more discrete, disciplined and available at moment’s notice. How is that compatible with sharing photos of married and socially prominent SD’s with other online personalities? That 3rd party well well be a scam artist, blackmailer or a media outlet trying to get a scoop. Even if there is no such intention to start off, with that picture sitting on the 3rd party’s hard drive, it is only a matter of time for that 3rd party to figure out that a potentially more lucrative line of work is blackmailing. That’s assuming you don’t get on the bad side of that 3rd party, which is not a given considering how short the friendship turn-over cycle is for a typical woman.

  49. Kms2014 says:

    As I have asked many times before…please just refrain from addressing me. Am tired of arguing with an obvious madman. Thanks again!

  50. Kms2014 says:

    Elaine is too nice….I do not give you such courtesy, as I do not care for you–at all. You are not a nice, kind or good person…actually, you appear to be a raging narcissist megalomaniac type, in my opinion, who lives their life without many friends, apparently, so is always on blog so that you can get some of your narcissistic supply. Every time someone posts something, no matter how different the subject matter is to your situation, you then turn it around to reflect yourself, then make it all about ‘you’.

    Have no idea what area/city you live, and do not care to know, so your narc delusion that I am looking for you, on SA, is just as mad as you are. You really do need help…

    Everyone is on drugs, apparently, that disagrees with you and your rants about how weak minded women are…and your baby farm(or, people who you are not willing to help, just as an excuse).

  51. SunShineSD says:

    All right, let’s talk about narcissism: according to you, SD wanting (the potential of) a genuine relationship is madness and worthy of your bashing, SD wanting (repeating) one-night stand is unethical and worthy of your bashing; wanting an overpriced weekend with a drug-whore is just right! Is that your new marketing tagline?

    If you want to wake up between 3am and 6am to bash other posters and force SA staff’s hand to censor or even close down the blog, I’m content to play along the trajectory just so that we hear less of your marketing spiel.

  52. Kms2014 says:

    As I said before…completely mad.

    ‘When you criticize a narcissist –regardless of how accurate you are— you run the risk of inflicting a “narcissistic injury” and becoming the target of “narcissistic rage.”’

  53. Josh says:

    Hmmm, Elaine = Kms? I never suspected that. But I don’t have the crystal ball like some SDs do either. LOL!

  54. SunShineSD says:

    @Elaine or KMS or whoever you want to be at a given moment

    On the contrary, I usually meet her friends sooner or later if and when the relationship lasts more than a few weeks. While I understand that women tend to be on their best behavior when with me, I’m not fond of too much emphasis on marketing, nor would I want her to feel the pressure of having to put up a facade for me all the time.

    The difference between sharing a picture with a 3rd party vs. merely talking about the person in pseudonym is that there are facial recognition software out there, and they are getting better at matching against databases everyday while the file sits on a third party’s hard drive ready to be retrieved! Unless you have been with your “friend” in the same room, you wouldn’t be able to tell that online personality as a real SB vs. hypotehtical male pimp handling a bunch of middle-aged drug whores. Sending photos of socially prominent and married SD’s to such online “friends” can potentially seriously jeopardize your clients to blackmailing.

    OTOH, given the idioms you both use, and the magazine/network references, and cultural references, both of you are obviously from North America, which is not exactly two different continents the last time I checked; seeing that you both suffer from sleeping disorders that would result in getting mad at other posters on the blog between 3am and 7am, the two of you may well be online characters created by the same author. So I’m not too worried about your allegedly married SD’s with significant media exposure. Oh, btw, stop trying to contact me via SA. My profile never attracted 37yr olds before, and a new contact from a 37yo shortly after testing me via a 3rd online character really stands out like a sore thumb.

  55. Elaine says:

    @ Josh

    I forgot to add:

    “But if you think you can be in any relationship, with any woman, without her talking about you with her girlfriends, you are really very naive…OR COMPLETELY NOT INTERESTING AND BORING” LOL
    So, yes, maybe his women never spoke about him with girlfriends….

    But we knew already he comes from another planet 😉
    And he seems to have a chrystal ball too, knowing all this:

    “sharing their photos and identities with you after her promise of confidentiality.”

    First: I was never asked and have never promised confidentially, that is an unspoken Gentleman’s agreemement I just keep.
    Second: I have never reveiled ANY identity. Just a picture and a first letter.
    Any idea how many A’s (a nickname!) there is on SA???

  56. Josh says:

    “But if you think you can be in any relationship, with any woman, without her talking about you with her girlfriends,you are really very naive…”

    😉

  57. Elaine says:

    @ Sunshine,

    Friends do share secrets some time.
    Especially in a lonely ambience as Sugar. This you cannot share in with your friends in real life.
    And sometimes you just have to talk, as my relations are not the p4p kind, but long lasting, sometimes emotions develop and get in the way.
    And then it is nice to have someone to talk to who understands and knows the situation by first hand.

    This is what KMS and me do.
    I once joined this blog to find this sort of support, but very soon decided to not mention a word about my SD here. Because even if those men are way to busy with more important things as reading a blog, I would want to avoid any posible recognition of any situation by any of them.
    And since we are not even on the same continent, what is the problem if she has seen an untraceable picture without a name?
    Yes, we talk about our SD’s, but always name them only by a letter.

    I really don’t see a problem in that, or a breach of confidence.
    I know about their companies, their boardrooms, their problems, their wives and children, their eventual kinks, but I have never reveiled anything that matters or would lead to recognation of this. To now one!

    But if you think you can be in any relationship, with any woman, without her talking about you with her girlfriends,you are really very naive…..

  58. SunShineSD says:

    “Nope, have seen several of Elaine’s SD’s, both past and present…they are quite attractive and not much older than she is.”

    I disclose my full identity to every SB I meet in person. Since I’m not married, nobody can really blackmail me for being on SA. However, I would still be quite displeased if an SB shows my picture to another SB. Makes me wonder how her married SD’s in socially prominent positions would think about her sharing their photos and identities with you after her promise of confidentiality. The story is not adding up, KMS.

  59. Sataney Shibari says:

    I do none of that. Paranoia isn’t healthy. Besides, they can’t possibly be crazier than I am.

  60. Her_ says:

    Thanks SA for maintaining this blog with pertinent issues. While I don’t always with your perspective, it definitely starts the conversation (looks what’s happening above***) and helps me refine my opinions of the topics.

  61. Kms2013 says:

    “@Elaine, you are assuming the SB is looking for a Multi Millionaire. After talking to and having many SB’s now most have many more experiences with fakes and flakes than Multi Millionaires. If you have only met verifiable multi millionaires I think you need to share your secret or you a dating way up there in the age scale imo ”

    Nope, have seen several of Elaine’s SD’s, both past and present…they are quite attractive and not much older than she is. She has shared some of her secrets and she is very clever woman. Would not expect someone to understand that is changing and replacing their ‘SB’ on a weekly or bi-weekly basis. Some people just do not get it because they are looking and playing in a completely different field than some.

  62. Elaine says:

    Having said that, I suddenly remember, yes, one pot. didn’t reveal his true identity, and was open about his identity being false. I respected that for a while, but after weeks of communication he still didn’t want too, so we never met and finally lost contact.

  63. Elaine says:

    Oh yes, there is probably a lot of possibilities for a false identity.

    Maybe I have been lucky with my pots and SD’s.
    Maybe I am just smart….shrug..

    Of course I dont seek on Facebook or Linked, or any social media.
    To easy to create a fake identity.

    But in financial journals and company reports, Bloomberg or Forbes?
    Mah…I dare to doubt it!
    But who knows? Might be…

    All pots and SD I have met so far, turned out to be who they said they were, so my Sherlock qualities seem to help with the right investigations and selection criteria.
    Or I just come over as very trustworthy, seen the fact they are all married and have a lot to loose, but none of them made big efforts to hide their identity so far.

    And of course I have never abused their confidence.
    That to me would feel as betrayal.

  64. JohnLeCarre says:

    I do not have Facebook, nor google plus, nor twitter. I have a very close friend worth over $100M who is unknown, I am am worth pover $10M and my name is the same as some other famous people and you would have to dig very hard on specific finance websites from 15 years ago to find me.

    On the other hand, I have found many of the young SBs use real names and put down their professions and their exact town/s. It took me all of 3 minutes to research several young SB who claimed to be and indeed were glamour models in the UK. Even in a large city like NY, I came across 3 young SB who were daughters of my friends… eeek

    Elaine – there are intel/security websites where for a few 100 quid one can get a full traceable PHONEY identity which will pass any normal due diligence outside of a police search.

  65. Elaine says:

    @ gtt_envy says:
    July 17, 2014 at 2:29 pm
    ” @Elaine, you are assuming the SB is looking for a Multi Millionaire. After talking to and having many SB’s now most have many more experiences with fakes and flakes than Multi Millionaires. If you have only met verifiable multi millionaires I think you need to share your secret or you a dating way up there in the age scale imo ;)”

    My secret I have shared already several times in old posts.
    I have posted about profiles, selecting, tracing and being a desirable SB for a high quality SD.
    Whomever is interested can read them.

    Ans yes, indeed, I only meet verifiable multi millionaires.
    Do I have experiences with flakes and fakes and timewasters?
    Yes, off course I do, like anyone else here!

    I just don’t MEET them.
    Because I find out before meeting, because I CONVERSATE with them first.

    My SD have been in the age group 45 – 55, and all were men I found attractive , I would never meet someone I would not find attractive to start with.
    So the most common age scale here I guess.
    And yes, the higher networth and income scale.

    But as said before, sugar has many different faces, scales and experiences.
    And we are here to share them all 😉

  66. gtt_envy says:

    Grrrrrr getting cancelled on makes me unhappy. Lucky for me I sometimes I have a standby just in case. Tonight I do :)

  67. WCSD says:

    @FatBastard – I couldn’t agree more – (“Pretty dumb comments about all multi-millionaires being “traceable on Google”. There are many people who own real estate and have small business (and are multi-millionaires) that don’t use LinkedIn, are not written about in the Wall Street Journal, and are not mentioned in any articles found on the internet.”) There are many, many CEO’s, business directors, etc. that are not listed on line. If in a public company, sure, but private companies have very little need to post their management team (and the team may be a team of one!).

  68. gtt_envy says:

    Josh@ just the anonymity piece and a attraction to much younger women!!

    It’s stops there lol.

  69. RSD says:

    I’ve always told SBs who I am. If I sense particular promise, I often tell them who I am before we meet; they can google me, see that I have no criminal history, that I’m a respectable member of society, and possibly even get a vague idea of how much I make. In particular, the more academic type SBs admire what I’ve accomplished, and that makes for a better relationship. Strange thing about accomplishments is that they belong to the past when 20-some-year-olds didn’t pay me much attention. But the early life accomplishments do help pay the bills later in life.

  70. Josh says:

    @gtt_envy

    “Josh, and I have much in common.”

    That’s news to me. 😉

  71. Eloquence says:

    No, a pc cannot replace the human flesh and it will never subside for the warranting of the heat from one’s skin to another.

    So here is your campfire song for the week! Yes, I do love this band and will forever be their greatest fan! FAN-Tastic… They have soul and a superb videographer. Now who wants to buy me a ticket? lol

    you tube: One Republic – “Burning Bridges” (lyric video) vevo

    For the gang: My hand is shaped like a phone with my pinky & thumb extended to my ear and I’m whispering outloud: “Call Me!” :)

  72. FatB'StardSD says:

    Pretty dumb comments about all multi-millionaires being “traceable on Google”. There are many people who own real estate and have small business (and are multi-millionaires) that don’t use LinkedIn, are not written about in the Wall Street Journal, and are not mentioned in any articles found on the internet.

    Maybe the SB’s on the blog are only considering SD’s in the 100+ million net worth range who are on the Shark Tank.

  73. Josh says:

    Wow! The censorship ended sooner than I had anticipated.

  74. Josh says:

    I would not do ANYTHING illegal, starting from engaging with prostitutes or using fake id’s. I have my ways of doing things and working with only relatively non-nosey SBs–if there’s sany such thing. I don’t care to reveal my fully legal strategies.

  75. Elaine says:

    It is not about creating a fake profile.

    But information about a company owner, managing director or CEO of a company of any importance will be found on the net.
    This has nothing to do with keeping a low profile, or not wanting to expose his wealth.

    Changes of collecting millions completely unnoticed and without leaving any traces are slight.

    Be it tv interviews to be found on Youtube.
    Be it Bloomberg or Forbes or other business magazines

    Was not really talking about Facebook… LOL
    And no, a false Linked profile (like; without connections) is not going to fool me.:-)

  76. gtt_envy says:

    To add to that arrangements are usually short especially lately!! Usually after 2-4 meets I’m done or they are. The minute a emergency comes up, a “OMG you won’t believe”, or asking for extra money over the agreed amount. I’m gone 😉 I do give gifts though. I’ve only had 2 girls that didn’t ask for extra I didn’t realize how rare that was.

    Date tonight so weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee 😉 excited should be fun!!

  77. gtt_envy says:

    @Elaine, you are assuming the SB is looking for a Multi Millionaire. After talking to and having many SB’s now most have many more experiences with fakes and flakes than Multi Millionaires. If you have only met verifiable multi millionaires I think you need to share your secret or you a dating way up there in the age scale imo 😉

    Josh, and I have much in common. I always rent cars, meet in different cities, or at a 4 star hotel. Our tactics are different but anonymity is KEY!!

    I have a fake ID with my real first name and fake last name, address is a condominium with no unit # also fake, and in a false city. I only use Venmo, fake Paypal, or WU with my fake last name. I also have a AMEX with just my first name on it because AMEX will let you do that.

    I usually send a small token gift quickly via WU. Since you give a tracking number, your name, and the amount to the recipient. This makes them believe my name is a real one though it is fake. Since there are so many fakes on the site most women are blown away I even sent money let alone gave them a full name too. If I was ever asked for a I.D I would show my fake one. I never have been EVER!!

    My red flag is anything that screams escort or if a SB logs into sa.com every day or has a hidden profile I skip.

    As I said I think I have the luck I do because I’m under 40, screen out professionals, people not willing to invest via social apps, and send pics with my name written on a sheet of paper. Once that is done snapchat, vidworld, instagram, even oldschool FB which I have fake accounts for all it’s easy to verify what a person does especially a early 20’s coed.

    I’m not googable because all of my information is fake. If they were to find my real name I am easy to find, but by no means a multi millionaire 😉

    Why do I do this? Because I’ve been in a LTR for 7 years nobody has a clue, YET!! I try my hardest to keep it that way!!

  78. Johnnie says:

    One poster said:
    “IF he is not traceable on Google? Sorry, no meeting, because that is a big red flag. C’mon, being a multimillionaire and not traceable on the net? This means you are a fake, or you make your money in an illegal way.”

    Any techie worth his salt would know exactly how to construct a profile and communications systems that are untraceable, at least by anyone without a warrant.

  79. WCSD says:

    I agree with John. I’m not traceable on Google. Not because I worry about blackmail, etc. but my success has come from starting a business and developing a product. This product (my business) ended up being bought by a fairly well known company. I was obviously a private company, and this well known company wanted to give the impression that they developed this product rather than acquired it. So there never was a mention online of the sale, or anything. I have a facebook account which I keep private, and honestly rarely post on. So it is fairly common that a potential can’t find any information on me. Also like John, I have many friends who are closet ‘rich’ and not public about it at all. So this seems like a fairly limiting requirement if you need someone to be “Googleable”.

  80. JohnLeCarre says:

    IF he is not traceable on Google?
    Sorry, no meeting, because that is a big red flag.
    C’mon, being a multimillionaire and not traceable on the net?
    This means you are a fake, or you make your money in an illegal way.

    And for the few like Josh, who might have good intentions but don’t want to reveal their name for a different reason?
    Sorry!
    I would never trust my body to someone who does’t trust me enough to give his identity.

    Actually most of my very successful friends, save one or 2, will not show up on any google search because they protect their privacy and financial details.

    I woulld do a background search on any lady SB…. very cheap to do and very effective at weeding out potential dangers. I would also give my name to any pot’l SB, no biggie because I am single

  81. Kms2013 says:

    “July 17, 2014 at 12:53 am
    All my SD, that were married, and very well known men with a lot to risk, have given me their real names very soon.
    As because we started the relationship by a lot of talking before meeting, it just felt safe for both parties.
    This is a little investment in the hope of finding a long term connection, based upon attraction, intimacy and confidence.
    And yes, a few times it turned out to be a waste of time, that is the price you pay for safety.

    As soon as I know their name and can track them, and it feels good, we can plan a meeting.
    And ehhhh…..yes, as someone else mentioned, mostly I have tracked them already before they give their names, mostly it isn’t that difficult because they use their oh so flattering corporate pics.

    IF he is not traceable on Google?
    Sorry, no meeting, because that is a big red flag.
    C’mon, being a multimillionaire and not traceable on the net?
    This means you are a fake, or you make your money in an illegal way.

    And for the few like Josh, who might have good intentions but don’t want to reveal their name for a different reason?
    Sorry!
    I would never trust my body to someone who does’t trust me enough to give his identity.

    And as for the P4P “arrangements” where trust and confidence play no role whatsoever, keep in mind that even call girls of a certain level don’t come to visit you without knowing your ID.

    Funny that we always state we should not compair SB with call girls, but that seems to count only when it happens to be convenient for the SD.
    Like, not having to give his real ID, much lower costs, and no “timed” vagina, as some here called it so classy….

    That makes one think….

    Because, seeing rows of different “SB’s” you “give” an “allowance” makes you an ” SD”, in difference with those the Johns who are seeing rows of call girls they pay a fee.”

    Wow, Elaine…could not have said it even close to that well….very good post (:

  82. Eva says:

    we are all so guarded, which is a good thing, but if people were straight forward, genuine and with good intentions, all this hiding from one another would not be necesary. I give my full name and with anyone I get in contact, got nothing to hide. But world is a different place, I know (:

  83. Moe El says:

    I agree with the blog to a certain degree. You have to have plans in place to protect your privacy and safety. But I have had some awkward moments with personal inquires about my life that I chose not to share with them (as well as that awkard moment when i got a friend request on facebook). For the most part I just try to provide only information to them that is relevent.

  84. Johnnie says:

    I’m not going to let my personal information out into the wild so some unscrupulous can blackmail me. That’s for sure. As far as the SB’s are concerned, I’m always happy to show my ID. It proves my name is either Grant or Franklin. I like to have a first meeting relatively quickly, in a place like a mall. Lots of exits, lots of people, very public yet private.

  85. Eloquence says:

    @ Josh

    Not every SB will know someone that can run a plate on a date or publically in a first meeting. The very first thing I was ever told to get WAS a license plate number and that tidbit of information was passed on from my Father when I was a child for safety for any reason.

  86. RSD says:

    In one case, for example, the girl just mentioned a hobby and I knew what university she went to. I didn’t care too much for a while but one day I got bored and decided to figure out who she was. Took me 10 minutes. Again, if they have anything factual to go on it might be easier than you think if the girl is smart. Most SBs are not Albert Einsteins (thankfully, if only in terms of looks), but some are quite smart and capable.

    I’ve never looked up license plates so it don’t know just how easy they are to trace.

  87. Cryptic says:

    I agree with Tony, there isn’t much about the security of the SD in this article even though the SD being the one with the money is actually a lot more vulnerable. How do you know the SB hasn’t got a boyfriend or similar who do a stand over on you at some point, what if she is just plain nuts or as Tony mentions the SB/Prostitute who killed two men/SD’s.

    The bias towards SB’s on this site is quite a turn off for me to be honest.

  88. Elaine says:

    All my SD, that were married, and very well known men with a lot to risk, have given me their real names very soon.
    As because we started the relationship by a lot of talking before meeting, it just felt safe for both parties.
    This is a little investment in the hope of finding a long term connection, based upon attraction, intimacy and confidence.
    And yes, a few times it turned out to be a waste of time, that is the price you pay for safety.

    As soon as I know their name and can track them, and it feels good, we can plan a meeting.
    And ehhhh…..yes, as someone else mentioned, mostly I have tracked them already before they give their names, mostly it isn’t that difficult because they use their oh so flattering corporate pics. 😉

    IF he is not traceable on Google?
    Sorry, no meeting, because that is a big red flag.
    C’mon, being a multimillionaire and not traceable on the net?
    This means you are a fake, or you make your money in an illegal way.

    And for the few like Josh, who might have good intentions but don’t want to reveal their name for a different reason?
    Sorry!
    I would never trust my body to someone who does’t trust me enough to give his identity.

    And as for the P4P “arrangements” where trust and confidence play no role whatsoever, keep in mind that even call girls of a certain level don’t come to visit you without knowing your ID.

    Funny that we always state we should not compair SB with call girls, but that seems to count only when it happens to be convenient for the SD.
    Like, not having to give his real ID, much lower costs, and no “timed” vagina, as some here called it so classy….

    That makes one think….

    Because, seeing rows of different “SB’s” you “give” an “allowance” makes you an ” SD”, in difference with those the Johns who are seeing rows of call girls they pay a fee.

  89. SunShineSD says:

    @Josh,
    Do you mean you never bring any SB home or you rent? Home ownership is a public record searchable by address. Even a hotel requires ID to give you a room, at which point you either present your real ID while the girl is next to you, or you’d be committing ID crime by presenting the hotel staff with a false ID.

  90. Josh says:

    @RSD

    “So unless you say absolutely nothing factual about yourself, your identity can easily be determined and you wouldn’t even know it”

    How can that be? If the name given is assumed, the picture posted on SA is not posted anywhere else, the SD does not exist on social websites, the phone used is Hushed, etc. How can the SB find his true identity?

    Well, the only piece of in real informationan SB has about me is my license plate, which I am not going to fake for legal reasons.

    If I ever get tracked thru my license plate then I will start renting cars.

    After experiencing emotional blackmail in “regular” relationships I am not too keen on any kind of blackmail by any kind of woman.

  91. RSD says:

    Josh, you’ve made me contemplate an alter ego for sugar affairs. It’d only work for short-term sugar dating though.

  92. Josh says:

    I only meet at public places. I do hide as much personal information as possible though.

  93. RSD says:

    In terms of privacy, I’ve had three SBs who didn’t tell me their names. I figured all their names out anyways based on minimal information. In the day of the internet, just knowing one or two facts about someone is all you need, even in a huge metropolitan area. And SBs generally have minimal internet existences compared to SDs. Most are not going to get thousands of google hits like an SD easily could; in fact, most will get no hits. But the reality is that if I had lived my life waiting for people to tell me what I want to know, I’d have gotten nowhere in life. I always tell SBs who I am, but I don’t require they share their name; I’d know anyways if I want to.

    So unless you say absolutely nothing factual about yourself, your identity can easily be determined and you wouldn’t even know it. And no, I don’t hire PIs or use hacking/keylogging or anything creepy.

  94. RSD says:

    Safety is common sense. If you can’t go on a date safely, then don’t date.

    In terms of the tax issues mentioned on the previous blog topic, sugar dating where compensation is in return for specific time / services falls into being taxable for the SB; a gift that has no relationship to what was received in return applies to the gift tax exclusion of the SD. So if I meet someone once a week for $2K/mo, that is not a gift, it is compensation for what I specifically expect in return. On the other hand, if I date someone and occasionally buy her expensive jewelry, or give her $10K randomly for her birthday, those are gifts because it is given out of affection with nothing specific or tangible in return. The exact nature of the arrangement is key in these situations. And yes, there can be a situation where an SD pays an SB 4k/mo for seeing her twice a week (taxable income to SB), then surprises her with a car for their one year anniversary without expecting anything else in return (gift). In general, from what I understand, these issues are complicated for courts to sort out (intention is key).

    In US vs Harris, the issue was that he gave the two sisters different amounts rather arbitrarily, so it was hard to establish it as income. This hardly applies to a typical sugar relationship, where there is a clear mutually-beneficial arrangement.

  95. MM says:

    Background checks are well and good however most of us would question the idea of giving out our personal information to a website anyway. Not to mention you could be a complete nutter who simply doesn’t have a criminal record etc so therefore background checked all good, personality still scary!

    Personally I would prefer lots of email and phone chats, slowly get to know each other before even meeting, this isn’t just to ensure personal security but also if any personality clashes or problems arise they can be dealt with at a distance rather than finding out later on.

    Whilst browsing SB’s on Seeking Arrangement it doesn’t take long to work out which ones are fake or gold diggers (irony I guess given the nature of the site) and which women are just wanting something different.

    Some profile types I avoid like the plague are;

    * Anything where the woman promises or boasts about her sexual prowess.
    * Profiles that feature the woman naked or near naked, including lingerie shots etc
    * Profiles where the woman is expecting anything higher than Practical.
    * Profiles where it is obvious the woman thinks this is all about her and although making it clear that she expects a lot does not mention what she can offer in return.

  96. tony says:

    The article should have also addressed the safety of the SD. Safety goes both ways – two deaths of SD have occurred due to drug overdoses from a person they meet on SA – so caution must be both directions.

  97. gentle(man)soul says:

    Safety is critical, no doubt about it !

    Speaking as a married SD ,the above recommendation to meet in public is totally unrealistic . I do not travel ,hence can not date in a public venue lest I be recognized and reported . So SBs must be sensitive to Daddies’ need for discretion and privacy . One public meet is reasonable and should be short and sweet . Any feeling about comfort needs to take place at this visit . SBs can ask for i.d. ,but most don’t ,and most SDs would not expose their real identity . Even single SDs have to worry about insane SBs as SBs also have to worry for the same reason .

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