3 years ago
How To: Juggling IRL Boyfriends and Sugar Daddies

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Ok, let’s be honest. Not all Sugar Babies in the Sugar Bowl are in search of a long-term partner. In fact, some still date “IRL” while maintaining an arrangement–not that there is anything wrong with double dipping in this instance. Some Sugar Daddies are perfectly comfortable sharing with a traditional boyfriend, but not everyone is.

To avoid a messy situation, every girl looking to double-dip needs to learn the art of juggling the both worlds. Before applying the rules below, ask yourself if you can handle two relationships. Each man in your life is a commitment, each coming with a set of rules and time you will need to commit to maintain a healthy relationship.

Don’t Mix Them

Your Sugar Daddy and IRL boyfriend should never meet each other. I would even go so far as to say they should never see what the other one looks like.

Men are just as insecure as women, just with larger egos. No one wants an insecure Sugar Daddy or a super jealous boyfriend waiting at home on the couch for them. Keep it simple, it’s in everyone’s best interest.

 

Don’t Compare

“My Sugar Daddy always buys me dinner” or “My boyfriend doesn’t need to date other women”

We’re dealing with apples and oranges here. You can’t judge a fish by it’s ability to climb a tree. If you do attempt to do so, you’ll find yourself face-to-face with an ultimatum from one of these Romeos.

Do Be Honest

Brutal honesty is essential to maintaining an arrangement. If you are seeing other men, you should be upfront about it.

In some rare cases, I’ve met Sugar Daddies who are more comfortable with their Babies having other Sugar Daddies than boyfriends of the same age. There is mutual respect among these men, while providing an even playing field. On the other hand, losing a good Sugar Baby to some kid that makes less than 50k a year, and will probably lead her to more trouble than good is, in a word, frustrating.

Don’t Overshare

Claims that Sugar Babies are simply arm candy for older men is a gross oversimplification of the role. Women who partake in the lifestyle also double as confidants, sometimes even counselors. Honesty, trust, and discretion are the fundamentals of each relationship.

This brings me to the fourth point: Keep your mouth shut. Anything your Sugar Daddy tells you is to be kept between the two of you. If you choose to take on an IRL boyfriend while in an arrangement, from time-to-time you may share details about him to your SD, but never the other way around.

Do Prioritize

You can have the best of both worlds, but one will be always be paramount to the other. Choose which relationship matters most to you. However, be warned that you should avoid canceling one-time-too-many with a Sugar Daddy. If that is the case, maybe the lifestyle isn’t for you. No one likes a flake.

When it comes to these connections, it’s always best to approach Sugar like the conventional dating: If you’re going to be a player, don’t be surprised when you lose the game.

What do you think of mixing IRL and Sugar?

How have your experiences mixing the two been like? Were you successfully able to mix both world?

 

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204 Responses to “How To: Juggling IRL Boyfriends and Sugar Daddies”

  1. Stormwolf says:

    My gf has a sugar daddy and sleeps with him for money and got mad at me and broke up with me bc I had sex with another woman to help me with the thought of my gf sleeping with him. We got back together but I can’t sleep with other women even though she does but she says she doesn’t get pleasure out of it. What do I do?

    • Anonymous says:

      Find someone who will give you the monogamy you seem to need.

    • Anonymous says:

      grow a pair and kick her ass to the curb!

      • Anonymous says:

        This.

        You’ll be doing everyone involved a favor. Odds are the SD involved doesn’t know you exist, just about all SDs either want monogamy or want everyone involved to know whats going on. Nobody wants to be confronted by an angry other man. Your girlfriend cheated on you plain and simple, thats on her. As someone who’s been cheated on, I know, it sucks. At least in this case you wont have to wonder why, she did it for money.

    • common sense says:

      Invite 2 black guys with massive dicks home to share your gf. Videotape it so that you can wank off to it once in awhile. I hope that is enough to get you over this selfish bitch for good.

  2. Pat says:

    My only question with this is there actually any SD’s who don’t want sexual favours in return?

    • SugarD says:

      NO—lol,I’d guess 99.99% want a sexual relationship, but there are probably a handful who are impotent,embarrassed by their appearance nude, or rationalize their behavior by being “faithful” physically to their SO.

      I wonder about it because there are so many SBs who put “no sex” in their profiles. Most of us assume that they are unsuccessful in finding an SD but who knows? Where there’s smoke there might be fire .

  3. Regnen says:

    So I recently just came across this whole SD thing and I have a boyfriend. I was wondering how to tell him I want to try out the whole sugar thing I already have a few serious offers and men interested…I just don’t know how t talk to my boyfriend (who I live with) about this in a way where he will realize it doesn’t mean our relationship is over.

    • SugarBaby21 says:

      No! You don’t let your boyfriend know that you have a sugar daddy, a man who takes you out, buys you expensive gifts that you otherwise couldn’t afford and gives you cash every now and then. NO! Most men and women don’t understand this lifestyle. You keep your SD as a friend to your boyfriend that you love. Would you be pleased, if it was the other way around and you knew, she done the things your SD does for you? Every luxury gift you receive, you saved up and bought, you wanted to treat yourself. Don’t let your boyfriend, see any large amounts of loose cash either, he can get suspicious.

      • SugarD says:

        How important is the BF to you ? IF you are willing to lose him just have a conversation and see how he responds to it . Most men would not be open to their woman swapping secretions with another guy . Would you be OK if he says OK and goes out and gets himself an SB ?

        This activity usually occurs when a couple has been together a long time and they have gotten bored with each other . Are you just in it for the money ? If your BF isn’t exciting or rich enough for you dump him and move on .

    • common sense says:

      If you have a thought about being a SB, I don’t think you want to preserve your relationship with your bf as much as you claim. Sorry, you can’t have it both ways. My advice to you is that you don’t tell your bf, hide it as well as you can, and perhaps you can get lucky that he will never find out. But being a SB is an addiction. You probably will get used to the lifestyle and will not want the free gifts to stop. How long can you hide?

    • AnonymouslyAnonymous says:

      @Regnen – my gf have a sugar daddy for about a year now. I am telling you I’ve seen him gave her a lot of gees, businesses, car, money.. Anything a girl would want. I just regret the time my gf asked me the same thought you are thinking right now. She wanted to try having someone give her money fpr the sake of “OUR” future. So we can earn and have business together and so. We’ve been together for 7years now. She started her SD when we are on our 6th year. To make the long story quite short, we are RUINED. I am caught somewhere in between. She introduced me to her SD as her brother lol so that her SD would stay away if he wanted to see her. I befriended her SD to k ow his purpose well of course I make him pay for some things for me too however things won’t seem to be in place.. Still we argue like why am I so nice to him (of course we are gaining something) and why can’t I protect her when her SD would say he like her a lot and wanted to be with her. Damn. The guy’s really nice and really rich and I can say dumb that he can’t even touch my girlfriend. But I somewhat feel guilty that’s why I’m being niceto him yet my gf will get mad. Most of the time, I am confused. Sigh. Am I being a “BROTHER” since that’s what she told him and now I don’t know what to act anymore? Sometimes I feel like I don’t have a gf and we’re just together because we’re just used to. I dunno.

  4. Natalie says:

    Great advice and very informative. However, I’m not the kind of person who can emotionally and logistically juggle a boyfriend and SD. As open-minded as some guys are, I don’t think it’s fair to someone for whom you’re cultivating a relationship. When I enter into an arrangement, I’m clear from the start that if I meet someone who could become a boyfriend, then I will terminate the arrangement. Fortunately it hasn’t happened yet, but it could.

    I have to hand it to those of you who can manage both.

  5. Josh says:

    @AP

    The second paragraph in your post above is spot on. Thanks for sharing.

  6. Josh says:

    @Eastcoast

    “I suspect that many of the men on here who want an NSA relationship feel better with a woman who has a stable at-home thing and doesn’t expect them to support her emotions as well as her spending habits.”

    I prefer my SB to NOT have a “steady” thing going because I never know when this waste bin of her emotions will be overwhelmed with her mindfucks and turn against me.

  7. Adrielove says:

    Disaster. If you have a boyfriend you shouldn’t be sleeping around with another man for money anyway. Learn how to work together with your boyfriend by getting a job & splitting the bills among each other so in that case you can money left over for yourself.

  8. Josh says:

    @Cpcrngrl

    “Josh for president!”

    Hmmm, if it is in jest related to the “There are NO free women” comment, then thank you but no thank you.

    President can’t do jack in this matter. It’s mostly a state issue and states need to reverse community property and other women-serving laws if the fate of the western civilization has to be preserved from the female sabotage of relationships, especially the marital relationships for the betterment of the future generations.

    Manginas raised under female-serving laws can’t run or even influence the world. 😉

  9. Olivia says:

    I find that I have no problem with having a serious boyfriend as well as a SD. I am always honest and upfront with both sides so that there is no deception. It’s always better for everyone to know exactly what sort of situation they are in. I’m able to equally prioritize so that no one is left feeling dejected or lonesome. Out of consideration for my boyfriend, my SD always chooses to meet me when my boyfriend is busy so that it doesn’t take time away from quality time with the boyfriend.

    I would think it to be unfair that a SD would require his SB to be single, especially if he is married. I’ve had guys try to restrict me, which they have no right to do, especially if they’re able to go home to their wife while I’d have no one. Now if the SD was single and he wanted his SB to be single, that would be a different story. Still unfair in my opinion, because she’s a SB, not your girlfriend. At the end of the day, my personal life is none of my SD’s business unless I choose it to be.

    • Isabella says:

      A guy I’ve been casually seeing for 4 months now wants to take things to a more serious level but I’m a SB. He works in West Hollywood as a gogo dancer, Magic Mike, but for both the gay and straight scenes. I know he gives woman lap dances and sometimes strips for $. He tells me he’s okay with me having sex with sd’s up to 3 times a week. I’m 21, and he’s 28. He’s such a good person and tells me he likes me. I just have a very hard time believing that, he’s capable of compartmentalizing the difference between my relationship with him and my SD’s. If he really did see me as someone long term why would be so okay with this? Is it because he wants to have sex with other woman after he works long late shifts at the club? What boundaries would we have? I wouldn’t be casually dating anyone else, or having sex with anyone but him, but don’t want to expect he won’t since he’s already being a champ about my sexual relationships with other people. I sound selfish but I just don’t know why he’s pushing for this, but I totally love that he is.

  10. Eastcoast says:

    Well I’m in an open marriage, so this is right out in front for me. My hubby doesn’t mind my dating here, and I suspect that many of the men on here who want an NSA relationship feel better with a woman who has a stable at-home thing and doesn’t expect them to support her emotions as well as her spending habits.
    So far none of the men who have contacted me have been concerned that I’m married. Goodness knows most of them are!

  11. Cpcrngrl says:

    Josh for president!

  12. Josh says:

    @anonymous

    “what does IRL stand for?”

    IRL stands for in real life. It’s a silly acronym as if the sugar is not in real life. 😉

  13. 2cents says:

    Rather it is a sugar daddy or a boyfriend, I simply believe a woman should focus on one man.

  14. NinaMichelle says:

    I have a boyfriend already I truly love, but I have lots of bills, school loans, and car loans to pay off. My boyfriend can barely afford to take care of himself, let alone me! Is wrong for me to seek a SD? My bf and I are serious, but we don’t live together yet. I think I can keep the two separate… what do you guys think?

  15. Jessica says:

    Interesting concept that almost always ends up in tears…
    I am a big believer that a woman should choose one or the other. The two worlds should never overlap. If a woman choses to be a mistress, a muse, an arm candy to married men she need to stay single. Having a normal boyfriend and a sugar daddy at the same time makes life really complicated and emotional. My advice to ladies- do one or the other but never both.

  16. AP says:

    Good article! I think the key is HONESTY from the get go. As a SD I don’t want to see her hiding her phone when I walk in the room, or god forbid her discussing anything we do with someone I have not met.

    As a SD I do have much more to risk, even if not married, and so expect to know much more about the SB than for them to know about me. They need to know enough to feel safe, I need to know enough for that and that they are not writing a book, taking photos of locations, posting a journal, using drugs, engaging in unsafe sex, or a host of other things a 20 something might think is fun to do with this lifestyle.

    Any lie, including of omission, is enough to end the arrangement.

  17. Raquel says:

    If you need a SD and have a IRL BF.. Maybe you should get rid of your IRL BF..

  18. Jess says:

    I think honesty is the biggest thing in an arrangement I don’t care if my SD is exclusive so I prefer he didn’t mind either but it’s also important we share that info if so because I need to know if I should be having that awkward can I get tested convo with my doctor you know lol

  19. HonestGuy says:

    I couldn’t agree more with the point about being honest. I don’t get jealous but I do care about the risk to my health that having multiple partners bring. Taking that risk should be my informed decision. Unfortunately, I live in an area with many more SDs than SBs and it seems to be common practice for SBs to have multiple SDs and lie to all of them about being the only one. The one SB I started with turned out to be dishonest too. I don’t see this problem discussed enough. In fact I have seen some SB websites encouraging this dishonest behavior.

  20. anonymous says:

    what does IRL stand for?

  21. Lola says:

    Wow! This is actually a debate?

    If a woman is sleeping with more than one man, it is not only disrespectful to the men, but disrespectful to herself. If she wants to sleep with many men, she should work in a whore house.

  22. amandaivy says:

    SB’s should not have IRL boyfriends, leave that mess alone. For myself, SD is enough for me and I like to keep everything 100% drama free for him. End of story-

  23. ThisGirlC says:

    To be honest, I have a boyfriend. we’ve been together for almost 3 years and were both fully commited to out relationship together. I recently joined the site, and my boyfriend knows and is totally fine with it. I don’t see the problem in juggling both, however, it may be different if you haven’t been in a long relationship, like I have. I guess it depends on the situation. But yes, it is a double standard if the SD has a wife.

  24. AnonSB says:

    There’s a lot of arguing on here and not a lot of advice.

    I’ve got a girlfriend. We live together. She’s good to me, and I love her very much.. But I’m not happy, and between school, work, and life, I’m stretched pretty thin financially. I took a break from SA for about a year but now I’m back; except this time I’m in a relationship. I know that if she found out I were on here she’d be livid. She’d never support, understand, or accept it.
    Honestly, I think if I ever get another SD I’m going to have to hide him from her.

  25. Nicole says:

    I would never date IRL while I have my SD.
    That isn’t right, that’s essentially cheating.
    I do however have a FWB who knows about it all, he’s the closest and will always be the closest to a BF while I sugar date

  26. SunShineSD says:

    The first-generation immigrants usually tend to be quite “pro-Western”; that’s why they made the decision to come here. Their rebellious kids born here are the ones having identity crises and somehow think being fundamentalist is cool; the truth is that if they go back to their parents’ home country, they’d be slaughtered by the locals as traitors, just like many Japanese Nissei (2nd generation) were slaughtered by Japanese army invading American territories in the Philippines and Guam during WWII.

    BTW, cultures change over time. I don’t think it’s so much a Western vs. Middleastern thing as a modernity thing. The Puritans arrived on the East Coast fully clothed and had their women wearing head gear all the time, as per the Bible. Bathing suit as separates in the West has been popular only for half a century. Half a century before that, belly dance half-naked was euphemisticly called Middleastern dance. LOL.

  27. I’m gonna stick to the subject even though I have heard about men from South and Central Asia getting sexually violent in Scandinavia. You would think people who are from a part of the world where women can be stoned for wearing lip gloss wouldn’t go to a part of the world where nudity is featured on television, and people are less discriminating when it comes to their sex partners.
    I was in the Netherlands back in 2001 and noticed that most of the men at the tipple zones and in the red light districts were Middle Eastern. I was also at a nude beach, after my sex change, in Sandy Hook, New Jersey and noticed many fully clothed Middle Easterners at the beach gawking at us naked Westerners. Stay out of the West if you can’t tolerate Western attitudes.
    Back to the subject; everyone can benefit from narrowing down their intimate partners. It’s not just disease you have to worry about. One also has be concerned about how one’s romantic partners are going to impact the other aspect of their life. Not everyone is worthy of your trust. Some people are liars and others are users. These people have sociopathic tendencies that can ruin a person. Whether you’re a Sugar or a Daddy; Beware!

  28. LawyerJD says:

    “Don’t Mix Them” – powerfully stupid advice in an article that has many good points.

    >>>>>>>> There is no “one size fits all” solution. <<<<<<<<<<

    For example, my partner and I are very open and honest about our relationship. If she does not approve of a woman, I wouldn't spend time with her – my partner has my back, and I, hers.

    And I NEVER refer to a woman I meet here as a "sugar baby" – let's be as bluntly honest as called for in the post: it is a demeaning terminology, much the same as "allowance" (something for girls, not women).

  29. Josh says:

    @gtt_envy

    When a man or woman asserts that X is undesirable due to A, B or C, and those are the reason (s) why they have to pay for a woman’s attention, then it leads me to counter assert that they are either clueless how women roll OR they are lying OR they are trying to “fit in”.

    There are NO free women. You “pay” them with money now or money later, relinquish your freedom, spend a lots of time with them (taking care of chores on their behalf), sustain their relentless mindfucks/shit tests/whatever OR a hearty combination of the above.

    So it is as productive for a 30 year-old man to be playing the sugar field as it is for a 60 year-old man. Sanity is as useful for a 30 year-old man as it is for a 60 year-old man.

    The hubris that their female selection process is superior to the others in their gender pool gets the best of many men. Their fate is no better than the men’s in DirecTV commercials.

    • Oneironaut says:

      I’m rather surprised at the outdated attitudes here. I’m a man with a sugar daddy, but I think many of the issues are the same. I don’t consider my sugar relationship a “real” relationship in the sense that I don’t have romantic feelings or any real attraction to this person. But we have a real FRIENDSHIP and I care about him very much. I’ve dated guys who understand the situation and know that it isn’t a “real” relationship, yet still want to date me. A few guys have not wanted to after finding out about my sugar daddy.

      I have found it relatively easy to separate my relationships, but if it ever came down to it, as nice as the financial assistance is, I’d still take a real relationship any day. Luckily, I have not had to make that choice… yet!

    • Oneironaut says:

      Also, the idea that there are no free women is quite outdated. In a truly equal and real relationship, there are no free men either. If you think dating men is a free ride, think again. Especially when they have primeval attitudes as you do… it’s agony for women to deal with men who think as you do… often it’s honest to god abuse.

      There have been times when I have dated guys who weren’t so well off financially and genuinely enjoyed spending money on them. I CHOSE to spend my money and time on them because it’s what I had to give, along with my emotion. If I really hated the idea of being taken for a ride, I wouldn’t waste the money and effort. If you keep meeting women who just take and take, it says more about you than about women in general.

  30. Moni says:

    @Kms2014

    You’re definitely right. I know I’m not the type of SB to try to find out where you live or your wife’s name or unnecessary things like that. I just want to know you (the SD), the person I will be spending lots of time with, in closed in quarters. It’s only fair and it makes the feeling so much more natural. I’ve had an SD in the past who had no problem giving me his info so I never had to ask. He was a professor yet like @Kms2014 he just trusted me because I was open about myself. When it comes to a man who doesn’t share much of anything , just I’ll be coming on this date and staying there for this amount of days and id like it if you stayed with me, I think deserve to know some info about him… Right?

    On the topic of juggling SD and BF

    I personally can’t do it. I guess it’s a mental thing. Either I’m single focusing on my self and career with some occasional wonderful sex with my SD OR I have a BF and it’s me and him end of story. Lol.

  31. Stick to one man Baby’s. You’ll be healthier in the long run.

  32. Kms2014 says:

    I’ve heard all the rapes in Norway are committed by non-western Muslim male immigrants. This is also prevalent in Sweden, so I have read, in past. So, you could still study the non-western male.

  33. Josh says:

    If I am pushed to take any such trip I would rather go to Norway, belgium, etc., and study the dynamics of rape there.

    Again, no interest in any such trip. 😉

  34. Josh says:

    @Kms2014

    “Why don’t you take a trip to rural Pakistan…”

    I have no interest in any such trip thank you. 😉

  35. gtt_envy says:

    [quote]yo[/quote]

  36. I don’t juggle men. Even if a man just wants a discreet arrangement with me, I feel it’s only proper to only see him. Otherwise, I feel like a slut.
    I like to think this attitude is what’s kept me free of diseases for the past twenty years. I’m thirty-eight, by the way.
    That said, every Daddy should also take precautions to keep his Sugar Babies and serious partner(ie: wife)disease-free.

  37. Kms2014 says:

    It is a basic safety issue, Josh…if you don’t feel comfortable with it, then so be it. It sounds like you find women who have no problem with the secrecy, so is not an issue for you. However, there are SD who don’t mind, and the ones I have been involved with readily offered the information to me, either at first, or after a couple dates–without my version of the Spanish Inquisition. They wanted me to know the real them, and wanted my real name as well. I don’t want sex with a fake name, and assumed their wanting to know my information would reflect the same feeling for them. Perhaps, I am just the trustworthy type
    and people feel comfortable with me, as I have been told. Most of these clever businessmen are smart enough to tell I am no blackmailer.

  38. Josh says:

    @Kms2014,

    Just becausea woman has decided to get money from a random man does not give her right to any amount of information from him above what he wants to divulge.

    Just because a man has decided to pay a random woman for XYZ does not give him right to any information from her that she does want to divulge.

  39. Kms2014 says:

    Actually, recounting a very pleasant past experience..one SD did give me a name that was a little different to his real name, then after we had our first date, he still did not give me all his info and I did not ask, as I just had a good feeling about him. However, he told me his real name and details before he flew me to his city…and had all his details on the hotel reservation, when I got there, so that worked out well. He had his own home in the city he flew me to, but made sure to get a nice hotel for me to stay in, while I was there. But, it was not something I would usually do…I just really trusted this man, since he
    went above and beyond to make me feel safe.

  40. Josh says:

    @Moni

    You have a reasonable and practical approach to SD info.

    One of the problems with women is that they want to extract necessary AND unnecessary info from men in the name of . That bling could be anything to suit the extraction needs, such as, love, honesty, communication, safety, etc.

    Such information is NEVER put to positive use. The purpose of that information is to emotionally (and sometimes financially) blackmail him.

  41. Kms2014 says:

    Hey Moni, no worries. As you become more experienced as an SB, then it becomes more clear who is to be trusted. Always go by the way they write, speak and interact with you and their behaviour towards you and your concerns…he should always respect your need to feel safe and secure, above all else. Any SD(or any man, in general)who is worth your time will ‘want’ this for you, anyways. It is probably better to have the man come and visit you, in your city, first, until you get better at this lifestyle. Even very experienced SB women can sometimes still get scammed…some men, on SA, are that good.

    At this point, in my life, would visit someone in their city before them coming to me, first…however, I would make sure that I had been corresponding with them awhile, and had them researched and verified they were who they say, and would make sure he had booked a very nice hotel for me, in which my reservations were made and he let me know, or even asked if it was to my liking.

    There are SDs out there who will have no problem sharing their personal info with you, once they feel safe with you as well…especially, if you are seeking an out of town arrangement (:

  42. Moni says:

    Also
    @Kms2014

    Thank you so much for your earlier post. You are completely right.

  43. Moni says:

    @gentle(man)soul

    Thank you so much that completely answered my question and gave me great tips.

    @Josh

    I understand your reasons of why you keep info very private. Yet, I’m not risking my life due to not having enough information just like you wouldn’t risk a women ruining your life due to giving to much information.

    If you were in town SD that would be fine for me. I can meet you in an open setting, see what type of man you are, then go home no problem. That’s great but, I don’t want an in town SD because I model and I know to many people in my area which it would probably come back to bite me in my ass. No thanks. This being the reason I want to go about a nice, and sweet way to ask for more info OR find out for myself things about my SD so I don’t even have to ask AND I feel safe.

    So in general I’m just looking for an out of town SD who I know is who he says he is. That’s all, there are many fake SD’S as there are SB’s and I don’t want a weird SD or and untraceable SD flying out to see me and I have no idea what to expect putting me in a scary and odd position. At least with information before hand I can be more settled and comfortable with who I’m meeting. Then, while on the date, using my “common since” I can have a safe comfortable date focusing on the future fun ahead of me instead of over thinking everything else to go back to what @ WCSD said.

    @WCSD

    I use my common since but the reason you don’t understand why I asked my question because I didn’t give all the information. I just asked the question for a simple answer.

    You didn’t know that my possible SD would be flying to see me and staying a few days which that’s why I wanted at least something on who was coming so I would have an ease of mind that this person is making legal money and not a wealthy mobster running from the the law looking for a little secret play. Hence, I did meet him on the internet. Anyone can hide behind a picture and a profile but when you meet a person in a bar, club, restaurant etc. of course you wouldn’t feel worried because the person is clearly standing right in front of you and you can take the right measure to get to know this person further by socializing with them instead of using other outlets such as messages, emails, and text, calling isn’t even enough. Like Josh most can use a different phone number..

    I must make clear that i don’t mind information kept from me if we have a meet and greet before I’m in your car or in a private setting, however, if we may be moving a bit faster than a meet and greet I would need to know a bit more about you… I hope that’s pretty clear..

    xox

  44. SouthernSB says:

    I would never aspire to be a “Real Housewife” of anywhere! Those women are horrid, and I can’t believe anyone would look up to those hot messes as role models. Not only that they make men look down on us, just look at poor Josh’s assessment of our state.

  45. Lauren says:

    I prefer to simply date casually all around. Keep a sugar daddy around for as long as feels comfortable/we are connected, and date multiple guys casually at the same time. It makes for a busy schedule, but I feel like double dipping really helps in reminding me of the best parts of both men.

    When my IRL date dips out or ignores me the whole date for a baseball game, it reminds me to appreciate how kind and attentive my sugar daddy is. But when my sugar daddy is too busy to meet up with me for a while, it reminds me about how easy and accessible the others ones are. Win-win situation, in my eyes.

  46. FatB'StardSD says:

    @Josh

    The FatB’Stard missed a few great opportunities early in life because he was obsessed with a certain type of woman. The moral of the story is if you wan’t to turn a whore into a housewife you are not exactly innocent.

  47. Kms2014 says:

    ‘hanged’ not hung.

  48. Kms2014 says:

    Why don’t you take a trip to rural Pakistan, then? And ask the relatives of the 20 year old woman who was raped and hung, the other day. They seem to not allow women as much freedom there…you could take a man happiness poll there.

  49. Josh says:

    So unscientific superimposing of the general divorce percentage and the percentage of married men at SA data leads me to believe that waaay less than 16% of men are “happily married” in the western world.

    More men may be happier in the non western world in the marital arena because they don’t allow women too much freedom to mind fuck them.

    I am not saying if it is good thing or a bad thing from a human development arena. It is what it is. 😉

  50. Kms2014 says:

    There really is something wrong with the way you ‘think’.

  51. Josh says:

    You’re welcome. 😉

    Now, lesson for hoping-to-settle-down-with-the-right-woman men. Look around…the 60+% divorced men and 60+% fooling around men among the remaining “married” ones have singular message for you.

    Don’t get fucked. Use sugar instead. 😉

  52. Kms2014 says:

    So negative always…like a little dark cloud 😉

  53. Josh says:

    @Kms2014

    Of course there is “nothing wrong with that”. Most women actually aspire for such fate, as most women want to play real housewives of whatever geography.

    The 25 year-old dame who marries a 50 year-old millionaire has a greater chance of eventually coming out of the marriage with a net worth higher than if she had chosen to mind fuck a struggling younger feller instead.

  54. Kms2014 says:

    Hey, I hear you…nothing wrong with that (: I’m sure it could happen at any level, if the man isn’t already married…and they are so inclined. Many men who are 45-50 look pretty good, too…even to a 25 year old who is not struggling.

  55. FatB'StardSD says:

    @Kms2014

    “Have you heard of anyone, on blog, or otherwise who is getting married to someone off SA”

    I have heard second hand information this has happened more than once. I think there is a higher strata of members of SA that does not post on the blog where this is more common. Do you think it would be easy for a 25 year old woman in financial trouble to turn down an offer by a 45-50 year old multi millionaire :-).

  56. Josh says:

    Who gives a shit if anyone is gettng married on SA or off SA or between the two. Marriage is not the epitome of relationship between two people. It just means that man definitely gets mind fucked and woman possibly gets vagina fucked.

    • Oneironaut says:

      I say, if a man is so dense that he can be tricked into a lifelong commitment, he gets what he deserves. Gay men can be just as devious as you say most women are, yet I’m never victimized by them because I have the capacity to detect such games. You really have no one to blame but yourself.

  57. Kms2014 says:

    Have you heard of anyone, on blog, or otherwise who is getting married to someone off SA?…don’t think it is common. Could be wrong…could happen occasionally. I know you do research, so don’t have any stats 😉

  58. FatB'StardSD says:

    @Kms2014

    I am not that tall.

    “Don’t know anyone who married someone off of SA yet…”

    How many people do you know off the SA site to make any comparison?

  59. Kms2014 says:

    Predominantly*

  60. Kms2014 says:

    F’beestarddd aren’t you tall and a bigger man? I bet you towered over all those Japanese, hehe. Back in my ‘club days’ a group of friends would always drag me to this club that was pride entry filled with many Asian men and women..and I towered above them all like a giant amazon woman. Sorry if my comment was a bit racist…am not very politically correct, hehe 😉

  61. Kms2014 says:

    Well, on lower end dating sites and POF it isn’t based on wealth as much or a mutually beneficial arrangement, so I would still have to disagree with your reasoning. A site, such as SA, is based on the concept of an arrangement…so, there is much more room for fraud. Literally and figuratively, as money and sex/companionship/time can be considered the ‘currency’. On other dating websites, not geared towards arrangements and/or the premise of wealthy men meeting women, then you probably have more married men lying about their marital status, or how much they like the girl, in order to get easy
    and free sex, to be honest. Or, women just playing games with men for egos sake. Also, SA keeps getting compared to nightclubs and bars, but I rarely even go to those, anymore, so must disagree that the everyday people in my life are more deceitful than on SA. Although rare, have known a couple people who met their husband/wife, at a nightclub/bar. Don’t know anyone who married someone off of SA yet, except the owner. Is that a good or bad thing? Hahaha!

  62. FatB'StardSD says:

    @Kms2014

    “and who does the rave scene after their teens?”

    Many SB’s on SA are younger and like to party. I was never a rave kid.

    Tokyo is huge and is a great place for live music (the kind with instruments). I never bothered with Karaoke.

  63. WCSD says:

    The point of the first date/meet and previous conversations/texts/emails is to sift through the BS that everyone fronts and get to know the ‘real’ them a little better.

  64. WCSD says:

    @KMS – I would agree if you took a random sampling of people off the street, but if you took a random sample of people looking to hook-up/date (i.e. people on tinder, plenty of fish, the nightclub you went to last time) I don’t think there would be that much of a difference. And I’m assuming what you mean by fraud is someone pretending to be something more than they actually are to get what they want (either sex, or money).

    If that is the case, then everyone on SA, or any dating site (or bar/club) is a fraud. Everyone is exaggerating. There are some that are flat out lying, but like I said, I don’t believe that is much different (when looking at similar venues as stated above).

  65. Viola says:

    I agree with KMS that leaving your last name out until you gain a connection. Your information should be lightly touch during meetings to avoid, the SD or the SB “stalker.

  66. Kms2014 says:

    That is very normal, to tell your first name, at first, then your real last name a little later….Disagree in that I think there are quite a few fraud concentrations, on SA, then a general population sample of 100 people off street versus 100 people off SA.

  67. WCSD says:

    That is the one thing I love about my life, I don’t exist in a google search, etc. Not that I have anything to hide, but I’m just not there, and plan on keeping it that way. I honestly don’t have a problem sharing my name, but at the start it is my first name, which doesn’t help at all (very, very common first name). And even adding my last name really doesn’t do anything. In the end it is my demeanor and attitude to build trust that is important. There are frauds everywhere in life, and I don’t believe that SA has any more than Match or POF or the coffee shop around the corner. There are bad apples, but there are FAR more good apples out there. I think that some good apples are labeled as bad by people because they aren’t the good apple they are looking for, but they really aren’t bad. Take Josh as an example. I think many women both on this blog and in real life think he is ‘bad’ based on his opinions/methods. But he doesn’t come across as a dangerous individual at all (bad apple). He will just attract a certain type. Nothing wrong with that.

  68. Kms2014 says:

    That is just sad…sad to read, honestly.

  69. Josh says:

    Interestingly enough this SB was the most curious about me throughout our arrangement but had good head on her shoulders to try to ask me in the nicest way possible and move on to other topics when I repeatedly and tactfully deflected her inquiries. 😉

  70. Kms2014 says:

    I know, if you lived in Japan, you might have done the karaoke bar scene, hehe.

  71. Kms2014 says:

    That’s why I said….do whatever you wish. But, the girl who asked earlier wanted to feel more comfortable with someone, as she was new, and a little hesitant to meet someone…so, there are men, on SA, who have no problem being honest and upfront with who they are. She should go with them, as that makes you feel safer.

    I think there are some more reserved types, on SA, who don’t do(or, never really got into)the bar/club/rave scene…I was comparing meeting someone on match or at starbucks, not a dodgy dive bar…and who does the rave scene after their teens? Fbeestard….were you a rave kid? Hehe 😉

  72. Josh says:

    @FatB’StardSD

    I am somewhere between the two type of people you mentioned. I prefer not to sleep in my first date. The last time one SB agreed to go to hotel after lunch I sent her home. Met her later in the night and played with and banged her through the night after she went through the freaked-out-then-advised-by-her-sister-to-meet-me process. 😉

  73. Josh says:

    I don’t meet at private locations at any stage of my arrangement.

    Even a room in a 3+ star hotel in a busy part of town is a “public” place.

    Regardless of how hot a chick may be, I have enough supply of vagina in and out of sugar, and enough control on my little head to draw a line in the courtship sand to not reveal anything about me.

    Take it or leave it. 😉

  74. FatB'StardSD says:

    @Kms2014

    “There are lots of frauds, both male and female, on SA”.

    And the guy/girl at the club/rave/bar is up front about everything or never lies? Let’s be honest here, the SD’s/SB’s using SA are probably the kind of people who would sleep with someone they just met at a club/rave/bar. I would bet their are not many members of the church social group on SA.

  75. Kms2014 says:

    I don’t think anyone is asking for drivers licenses or passports here(I never have done this with my arrangements, but have been able to validate every SD I had, as he was being very truthful in telling me who he was, anyway, but always a good idea to check), however, nothing wrong with giving a real name, if one ‘feels comfortable’, at first either…and trust me, the lady(who is clever, anyways) will do her own research. It is only human nature to google/google images, ect., and research the regular cute guy you met at coffee shop, as well as the man/woman, on SA. Nothing wrong with it. And as far as safety goes, I think there is a ‘general’ potential for it to be a little less safe to meet someone off SA, than some man or woman you meet through your local starbucks. There are lots of frauds, both male and female, on SA. What is wrong with being cautious? For both parties involved… Even the married SD I have been with gave me their real names, both first and last, either at first, before we met, or after a few dates. If they do not trust you, and you not them…then, why are you sleeping with them, or thinking of it, in the first place? You trust them with your bodily fluids but not your name? I don’t want sex with a fake name, unless I am going to an ‘eyes wide shut party’, hehe.

    And really, if the man you are dating off ‘match.com’ and in regular walks of life is giving you a fake name…then, there is a reason why… just like, if a man is telling you not to call his house, after five, or he never answers on weekends, hehe! Common sense, yes! But remember, Brandon Wade markets to college aged girls…meaning, 18 and 19 year olds are all over SA site. Did I have less common sense at 18…did you?

    Was making a reference to escorts requiring actual ID as their life’s work is high risk. With that being said…I think some escorts do require actual forms of ID, however. Not sure. The men would be better at answering that question. From what I hear, especially, high end escorts as they require the most, in regards to background checks. As such, an SB’s life can be a bit higher risk as well, depending on who she chooses to see, of course. There was a young girl who posted here the other week, telling us of how she was almost raped because she naively went to the POT’s private residence, without knowing him well or ever have meeting him, first. If you are alone with a man who is trying to rape you, is it all that easy to ‘peel’ him off of you? Ask someone who has been raped or molested, either male or female how easy that is to do, once some predator has you isolated..in their car, their house…wherever.

    Of course, with both experience in life and being a SB, then you are much more likely to pick someone who is safe to meet, in a five star hotel say, for the first time, if you so choose it. That is up to someone’s discretion who probably has more life experience than your average college kid. This, is after knowing who the man is and having spoken to him for quite some time, first. Would not recommend someone new do this.

    But really, if one wants to know someone’s real name and have a little background info on them, before they get involved, then see no harm in that. My advice is to find someone who has no problem with being open, whether they are married or single, on SA. If you are worried you will be blackmailed and such, then pick someone who doesn’t mind all the secrecy, and is fine with knowing little about you. Simple as that.

  76. FatB'StardSD says:

    I have to disagree with gentle(man)soul on this one. I had a SB try to check out my wallet when I was not looking during a first meet. I told her to fuck off (literally) then and there. The only time I was ever rude to a woman from the site. If she is doing that that what is she going to do at my place, search for bank account information?

    If they want to know my name then they can ask. If I want to share that information then I will. If they don’t like that approach they can find another SD.

  77. gentle(man)soul says:

    @WCSD

    ” I think that the promise of money is the women equivalent of thinking with our little head. We get into trouble because of that, but common sense will drive everyone to make the right decision for them.”

    Nicely said WC

    With Sugar dating I think the expectation to go straight to the bedroom is a lot clearer,just as is a financial transaction . In IRL dating sex might be hoped for but it is a lot less of a sure thing . I have rarely had an SB who did not go to the Boudoir the 1st date.

  78. WCSD says:

    How is ‘being comfortable’ with your pot SB/SD any different in the sugar world than in real life dating?

    Do you ask for ID, etc. when you go on a match.com date, or tinder date? What about when you meet someone in a coffee shop, grocery store or bar? Or, do you do the smart thing and set up a date in public with emergency exits clearly marked, talk to them, get a feel for them long before you decide to take things into a more private setting where your risk increases?

    I’ve never understood this question/asking for advice. It seems pretty common sense. And if you need a copy of a pot’s driver’s license/passport before you’ll see them, that is your choice. Same thing for the guy you meet at the bar (‘Excuse me, you are cute, can I please take a pic of your DL so I can run a background check on you before I ask you to buy me a drink?’). That choice may result in MOST people to walk away from you, but you have that choice.

    I think that the promise of money is the women equivalent of thinking with our little head. We get into trouble because of that, but common sense will drive everyone to make the right decision for them.

    For me as an example, I do not fear physical abuse (6’4″, 220lbs), but I could very easily be drugged and robbed. So watching what I drink is a given. But in the end we all see red flags waving when we are dealing with someone. Unfortunately the little head/little wallet makes us colour blind too often…

  79. gentle(man)soul says:

    Moni says:
    QUESTION
    As a young student and SB I want to ask what is the appropriate and gentle way to go about it asking an SD question to confirm who he is so the SD isn’t offended. that way as an SB I know the things I need to know to feel more comfortable.

    Moni, This is a difficult issue particularly for married Daddies. Anonymity is important at least until we gain confidence that the SB is not a whack job and prone to put our marriage in jeopardy . So we will try to keep you from determining exactly who we are.

    Your situation is equally important if not more so,since your life and safety is at risk. My suggestion if you want proof of identity is to date single men, and even many of them will not make their I.D. known . What you can do is meet in public and gain a sense of what type of guy they are. IF you go anywhere with him tell a trusted friend where you are and And note his license plate . If you are in his car alone check documents in the glove box for I.D. info. Check his wallet when he is in the bathroom after a nice romp in the hay . He will not have his mind on security after you have turned his little head on .

    And listen to your gut . It is usually correct .

    Most girls I date are comfortable after the M&G and don’t press for more info . Eventually I feel comfortable telling them who I am .

  80. Kms2014 says:

    Hi Mike, welcome to the blog (: enjoyed reading your perspective on article. Xx

  81. Kms2014 says:

    Even escorts do background checks…I suspect why some men use SA, since any escort will not see them, unless a background check has been done.

  82. Kms2014 says:

    Umm, actually…no. As a woman, you can never be too careful, and maybe if some men were ever in the position of being ‘taken advantage of’ sexually by a man(besides prison, perhaps), even in a supposedly public setting, then one would understand. To go to someone’s home, even in the middle of the day, without knowing anything about them, is quite dangerous. If a man wants to meet in a private place, without knowing anything about him is quite unsafe, in my opinion. However, I deal with quality men who pick quality women, so that aspect is not an issue with them, I suppose. Just like for men…if you are dealing with ‘sketchy’ ‘ladies’, then , perhaps, you have reason to be paranoid and fear blackmail.

  83. KatPaw says:

    Hmmm ok after reading All the comments here is my 2 cents.

    @Ygtbkm

    I’m a married SB yes my hubby knows about any Pot SD. Any yes he can have himself some action outside of our marriage too.

    Having a honest open marriage helps being able to juggle both… In my truthful opinion humans are not meant to be monogamist with one person their whole lives.. Monogamy is an ideal that is thrown at us as “how it should be” .

    I love my hubby to no end he is my life partner but that doesn’t mean we have to be each others only partner.

  84. Josh says:

    Moe El,

    I dont know which world some of the “SDs” of the blog live in. They pretend that women are at a disadvantage. Hog wash!

    Unless SBs are doing dumb thikgs like showing up at a pot SD’s house in in a boondocks in the middle of the night, they are just fine.

    You don’t like the guy? Leave. Most women get into undesirable situations because they are unable to make split decisions and act decisively. Then of course it is MANkind’s fault because they could not peel themselves off of a looser. Playing victim works for them most, if not all, of the time.

    PS: I have a strong feeling that some of the SDs here are actually women who post women-centic points of view.

  85. KatPaw says:

    Good morning sugarrrrrrs! I have some catching up to do!

  86. Moe El says:

    Yeah. I’m always slow to give a SB too much information too soon. Haven’t had a messy situation yet but know one could come at anytime.

  87. Josh says:

    @Moni

    The only real thing my SBs so far know about me is my license plate number, which is real. If they know how to use it to get info about me. Also if any has used picture recognition service then they would have a tough time. I don’t exist on social media. 😉
    If any insisted then I would press the next button. My phone number is from Hushed as well. I am comfortable in my skin in and out of sugar. So if an SB is paranoid then she may practice her paranoia elsewhere.

    My cautious approach paid off recently when an SB tried to blackmail me.

  88. flyr says:

    @Fat B noted the moderate allowance may be high. You are probably better off putting negotiable and adding something in the text about requiring a real allowance. I do not have access to your profile or your geographic area so I can not comment on your desirability, but only on the “market” that is of course different in various locations depending on the cost of living and the sugar proclivity.

  89. Mike says:

    If the SB is able to juggle both RL boyfriend and SD and completely satisfying each relationship in their own way, why the double standard? If a married man can have two on-going relationships with each being weighted differently then I think it is possible for the SB too.

    Again, she must be able to satisfy both men in ways that are unique to each person and relationship. If the SD is completely providing her lifestyle then she will have to be prepared to be on his demand and top of the list, if SD is providing light spending funds then she can plan around her schedule. In reality the boyfriend ends up being the loser in the whole scenario, quite frankly.

  90. FatB'StardSD says:

    @BabyfacedK

    Some errors in your profile but nothing that bad. A moderate allowance is hard to get, there are probably a lot of SB’s in your area who are looking for a smaller allowance who are just as attractive and interesting as you are. You will have to offer something more to compete.

  91. flyR says:

    @Moni

    If you are meeting him in a very public place of your choosing , for something that’s not going to run late then you might go with very little background info . Add to that a casual but firm note that you would have to know more about him before being along or intimate.

    Although not recommended I have met SB in complete violation of the above but have always provided them with enough background info to verify and gone with the agreement that there were no expectations beyond the meeting (but if we decided to well…… )

    I know there are some married SD’s who never want their SB to know who they are. I think in this world of advanced photo recogniation and such that’s really a fantasy.

  92. Kms2014 says:

    @Moni.. All SD I have had, have given me their real first name, during the first meet or before(as, I seem pretty sane, I reckon). Or, they trust me enough to give me their first and last name pretty quickly….even before we meet. I don’t think I would meet someone, if I couldn’t find out anything about them, and they seemed sketchy. Of course, if they seem nice enough, maybe a nice dinner somewhere public? Always meet in a public place and it is better if you can research the real person–for several reasons, of course.

  93. Moni says:

    SouthernSB I don’t like chocolate either lol… well unless it’s white chocolate. I feel like it tase completely different.

    @Josh

    What then do you think is the best approach for an SB, just so she knows the SD is real and safe, can she take without asking to many questions that may lead the SD off. This is NOT what she wants to do, however, she does want to know that perosn that she is meeting is a legit person.

  94. BabyfacedK says:

    Hello this is my first time trying SD dating. Im not sure if my profile is any good. I don’t think I’m unattractive, but I’ve been having a hard time meeting SD’s. Can someone help me please?

  95. @Kms2014
    “Ygbkm…are you female?”

    Yep, I am.

  96. EllenSugarB says:

    There are many different types and flavors of lollipops…mmmmm they’re so yummy !

  97. Tall says:

    In my opinion, part of what an allowance is for is to compensate the SB for not having a regular relationship. Once she gets a boyfriend the only way it can continue fairly is to keep it on a per get together basis. If the SB needs extra money because of a speeding ticket or flat tire, then well honey, ask your boyfriend to help!

  98. Tall says:

    Things can really go south if the SB starts having sex with a new boyfriend at the same time the SD gives her a monthly allowance. Suddenly the SB stops contacting the SD. She has no motivation at all, she has got his money, and she has a boyfriend. Needless to say this can cause a great deal of resentment from the SD.

  99. Kms2014 says:

    Ygbkm…are you female?

  100. EllenSugarB,

    What a lovely picture you’ve painted. I’m suddenly craving a lollipop…

  101. EllenSugarB says:

    Hello Sugars!

    In response to the blog topic: What do you think of mixing IRL and Sugar? How have your experiences mixing the two been like? Were you successfully able to mix both worlds?

    Personally, I have not ever been able to mix IRL and Sugar relationships successfully. In fact, I have not ever attempted to. If I have a “boyfriend” that translates to: we are in a committed monogamous relationship, and having an SD would lay outside of the boundaries of our relationship. No guy I have ever dated IRL has been ok with me dating other men after we defined exclusivity with each other, and I respect that. In regards to my SD relationships (arrangements, whatever), I have had the same SD for several years now and there is solid bond between the two of us. There have been a couple of times where I had a boyfriend for a couple months, so I just made myself sparse and avoided seeing him during that time. One time I reconnected with a past boyfriend and let my SD know BEFORE I slept with said boyfriend that I couldn’t see him anymore. I didn’t want to disrespect either person. Admittedly, in hindsight, I only invited boyfriends into my life when my SD wasn’t around much (meaning we would go 2-3 months without seeing each other, or he was being flaky) during which time I would invite other male attention, possibly out of boredom…but who knows.

    To answer the other question…Are there any SBs who would allow their life partner (husband or otherwise) to have an SB or other outside relationship?

    In the formative years of the relationship I would not want my partner to have another partner outside of our relationship. Nobody is taking candy from THIS baby…I don’t share my lollipops!!! However, after some said years when I’ve sucked that lollipop down to a stick…sure, I’ll let another baby share my chew toy :)

  102. flyR says:

    @ GTT – Sounds like she is special …….. You’re obviously filling a void in her life………

    The missing topic – best SD or SB and why

  103. Josh says:

    @Kms2014, sure if they have gone through the process of pros and cons and decided that they MUST BE married for whatever the heck reason, then so be it. To each is own. 😉

  104. Kms2014 says:

    Maybe, some people, whether famous or not, find marriage appealing…So what? Live and let live.

  105. SouthernSB says:

    @gtt_envy-Either I am going through a mid life crisis or I am suffering from a huge case of arrested development because I happen to resemble your Hooter’s Girl and I’m 46!! Or maybe its just that I’m ridiculously young at heart.

  106. SouthernSB says:

    Am I the only woman in the world that doesn’t like chocolate? I feel so left out here.

  107. Josh says:

    Re: Jordan

    The marketing has convinced men that putting some random woman on their individualize welfare program somehow translates into happiness. Which it definitely does; only during the honeymoon period.

    So is it better to have multiple planned honeymoons with many women by “overcompensatig” the deserving ones (based on whatever criteria) instead of expecting sustained honeymoon with one woman?

  108. ….K, so I posted this in the early part of the day yesterday, but it was “under moderation” until some early hour this morning. So, in case you missed it buried 36 posts back, here is is again :). My two cents…interested to read where people are on this!

    yougottabekiddingme says:
    June 19, 2014 at 10:25 am
    The imposition of monogamy and exclusivity is the bane of the human experience…that, and greed…and oh, The Real Housewives of Whatever Regretful City.

    People should consider doing away with double standards, learn to share, and balance their primordial and intellectually evolved selves.

    Married man seeks exclusive sugar baby until she cuts things off for exclusive boyfriend or husband under the expectation and that theyll desire and pursue only each other for the life of their sacramental, legally binding contract…forever. Oh what silliness. The thing is…it seems, in many cases, that SDs arrangement w SB is an accommodation to an already defined end…the marriage he intends to keep/won’t/can’t/has no desire to leave. SBs arrangement is a means, an intermittent accommodation to a presumed end…career that will lend her independence or the relationship/marriage she intends to keep. The pursuit of one isn’t feasible if exclusivity is pledged to the other.

    Questions:

    Are there any SBs who would allow their life partner (husband or otherwise) to have an SB or other outside relationship?

    Are there any SDs who would allow their life partner (wife or otherwise) to have an SB or other outside relationship?

    Just curious…

  109. SunShineSD says:

    Re: Jordan
    It’s only money. At his age and phase of career, he is not exactly focusing on high compound return for his money any more. So what if he decides to risk a few million and his time trying to find some happiness for himself and his beloved. I’m sure he can take care of himself after the experience a few years ago due to a false paternity suit from a former lover who got herself pregnant with someone else.

  110. gtt_envy says:

    Idk……lol

    I was so worried she was going to be all “I’m all that” many girls that at breataurants are….Very cool chick definitely doing that again.

    It’s the little stuff. She leans in for a kiss first doesn’t pullback. Grabs my hand in public……and is a freak which is always good :)

  111. Josh says:

    Can she boob-text?

  112. gtt_envy says:

    Date last night 21, in college, works at Hooters…. what a dynamo. So much cooler than I expected awesome bubbly,vibrant, and fun attitude. Up for anything great night great night.

  113. Josh says:

    Old news but just read that michael Jordan got married to his girlfriend. Why the fuck would he marry? Marriage marketing, my friend marriage marketing. Marrige is beneficial to women.

  114. Josh says:

    Absolutely. No further comments needed. 😉

  115. euphoria says:

    Josh- the most important woman. if hes taking care of me, im taking care of him

  116. Josh says:

    @Euphoria

    Of course, the most important thing in his life should be thinking about you.

  117. euphoria says:

    42SWM- Exactly, he should think about me through the week, and that should keep him happy until the next time we see eachother!

  118. 42SWM says:

    @Euphoria: No argument from me. :) One thing I learned from being married is that the little things add up, and that the small things matter regardless of the arrangement, relationship, etc. Sugar arrangements should be fun. Spreading lotion on someone, feeding them chocolate covered strawberries, massages, etc. can really set a mood. The fact that a lady is a SB should not preclude the fun things that can build up an evening.

  119. Josh says:

    @Euphoria

    I believe, I believe. 😉

  120. euphoria says:

    42SWM- so why shouldn’t he do the same for me in return?

  121. euphoria says:

    @42SWM- Exactly, If you don’t want it to be a transaction, then why stick to transnational crap! I know how to wear my lingerie, hold his hand/make out with him in public and say things that will blow his mind. Plus, if i know we meet every Tuesday for dinner, I know to set the appointment to get my makeup and hair done for him.

  122. Josh says:

    @Moni

    We won’t have an arrangement for sure. I give the least amount of info and demand the most amount of info in return. LOL!

  123. 42SWM says:

    @Euphoria: That guy sounds like me. Why not knock the lady’s socks off? Some actions cost so little, while paying so much in dividends. Some old fashioned romance and pampering definitely helps a lady get in the mood.

    On an intangible level, why not try to make someone really feel some magic? On an economic/transactional level, doing things where the incremental benefits exceed the incremental costs is only logical.

  124. Moni says:

    Hey guys!!

    QUESTION

    (that has nothing to do with this blog of course lol)

    As a young student and SB I want to ask what is the appropriate and gentle way to go about it asking an SD question to confirm who he is so the SD isn’t offended. that way as an SB I know the things I need to know to feel more comfortable.

    Can a experienced SB please tell me the steps you take to make sure you’re not meeting a killer, pimp, official etc and that you know your meeting a real SD or at least 90% sure??

    Please and thank you.
    I havent had any “bad” experiences maybe weird ones but I feel if I had went about it the right way I would have found a great SD by now. Yet I won’t lie fear holds me back. Sometimes I’m just afraid it’s to good to be true…

  125. euphoria says:

    @Josh- Believe it or not, I had one very amazing sd in ny that liked to massage his sb’s with coco butter and feed them chocolate covered strawberries in bed and it was his allowance range!

  126. Josh says:

    Would I ever do that, really?

  127. euphoria says:

    @josh- You say it like it’s a bad thing!

  128. Josh says:

    Of course dear and who is the princess? 😉

  129. euphoria says:

    and the chocolate….

  130. euphoria says:

    @Josh- Literally… I have a fondue pot. So he has to feed me chocolate covered strawberries in bed. Plus, he has to buy the strawberries!

  131. flyR says:

    @Euph

    Not sure if it has changed but when I lived in the Bay area it would take a month to get an appointment to have a car worked on but a day to see a doctor.

  132. Josh says:

    @euphoria

    “I would be getting 2000-5000 in gifts from him!”

    Since you would be enriching his life so much when he feeds you breakfast on weekday mornings and provide you with measly $2000-$5000 in gifts, it would be an absolute no brainer for any SD with quarter a brain.

    By the way, when you say “feeding me breakfast”, did you mean literally, or just buy it for you and you will help yourself? 😉

  133. euphoria says:

    @Josh- I would be getting 2000-5000 in gifts from him!

  134. Josh says:

    And may I please get the clarification as to who is paying whom? 😉

  135. Josh says:

    @Euphoria

    “he must be willing to commit to weekday mornings, feeding me breakfast in bed and 2000-5000 per month and must be unhappily married. no drama…”

    Don’t you worry. Such SDs are not too difficult to find, as long as YOU are doing the legwork and I am doing the fantasy writing on the blog. LOL!

  136. Josh says:

    @euphoria

    “he told me just go out and get a specific type of oil and he would change it for $80.”

    Hmmm, I had thought that you could get the auto work done for a song? 😉

  137. euphoria says:

    SunShineSD- Ok, deal. We can have real babies. See lady’s… This is a prime example of the art of negation. Now sunshine and I have laid out our expectations and we know what to expect from the relationship. We can start banging each other like the little wild animals that we know we are.

  138. Josh says:

    @gtt_envy

    “See Josh you aren’t as bad as you come across. If you shared more of that people wouldn’t think you hated women as much they think you do.”

    One more off of my bucket list in that you look at me differently. 😉

  139. poo says:

    Does Rachel Bilson know you are using here photograph in your sugar baby article? Was she a former baby?

  140. Josh says:

    @SouthernSB

    “Well, Josh is a softie after all!! WOW!! I never thought I would witnesses it.”

    I am comfortable with sugar and don’t need to constantly come up with fantasy reasons to be comfortable with the same. I deal with SBs as friends in need not chicks to bang for money. 😉

  141. SunShineSD says:

    @euphoria
    How did you know the Force in my family? Anyway, babies in my family don’t give stretch marks, but do stretch other parts of your body due to having big head. LOL. I don’t mind warming bottle and changing diaper at 2am, so long as the baby is mine. Did plenty of both for my daughter when she was little. Just don’t ask me to change diaper or watch breast feeding for someone unrelated to me; that’s just awkward, I instinctively walk out the room to give the guest some privacy instead.

  142. euphoria says:

    SunShineSD- yesterday I gave my Russian friend a smile and the pout when he quoted me $200 for the oli change. he told me just go out and get a specific type of oil and he would change it for $80.

  143. SunShineSD says:

    @Josh
    There are always additional desires where money can go 😉 I’m only speaking from first-hand experience. My ex-wife on 15x national average child support from me on top of her own job is hinting at a desire to switch her sub-20mpg 3row SUV to a near-30mpg CUV, now that the youngest no longer needs strollers. Granted, she does live better life than I do, and is about to spend two weeks in Europe on vacation . . . still, a brand new Porsche means $300 per oil change at the dealership to keep the warranty intact.

  144. SunShineSD- Fine regular babies it shall be. Omg…. Negotiations suck. You know alien babies don’t leave stretch marks like human babies though? So its your choice, do you want a stretch marked wife that doesn’t put out with a human baby that cry’s for a bottle and diaper change? Or do you want an ultra cool alien baby that leaves no stretch marks and moves the bottle with his mind instead of waking you up at 2am.

    Hehe…brilliant.

    I think your prenatal alien baby power might be permeating the blog…my unplugged battery life went up 2% as I was typing this.

  145. euphoria says:

    so, i am looking once again. This time I am looking for a fling in the mornings on weekdays. I think my best bet would to be to stick with a married man who doesn’t want to spend every frigging weekend with me that way I wont have to worry about being tired at work or having to take a Friday night off. So, he must be willing to commit to weekday mornings, feeding me breakfast in bed and 2000-5000 per month and must be unhappily married. no drama…

  146. “See Josh you aren’t as bad as you come across. If you shared more of that people wouldn’t think you hated women as much they think you do.”

    “Well, Josh is a softie after all!! WOW!! I never thought I would witnesses it.”

    Endearing, indeed :). Makes me wanna call you Joshiepoo or something. Though I don’t completely dismiss your soul syphoning potential ;-p.

  147. The imposition of monogamy and exclusivity is the bane of the human experience…that, and greed…and oh, The Real Housewives of Whatever Regretful City.

    People should consider doing away with double standards, learn to share, and balance their primordial and intellectually evolved selves.

    Married man seeks exclusive sugar baby until she cuts things off for exclusive boyfriend or husband under the expectation and that theyll desire and pursue only each other for the life of their sacramental, legally binding contract…forever. Oh what silliness. The thing is…it seems, in many cases, that SDs arrangement w SB is an accommodation to an already defined end…the marriage he intends to keep/won’t/can’t/has no desire to leave. SBs arrangement is a means, an intermittent accommodation to a presumed end…career that will lend her independence or the relationship/marriage she intends to keep. The pursuit of one isn’t feasible if exclusivity is pledged to the other.

    Questions:

    Are there any SBs who would allow their life partner (husband or otherwise) to have an SB or other outside relationship?

    Are there any SDs who would allow their life partner (wife or otherwise) to have an SB or other outside relationship?

    Just curious…

  148. euphoria says:

    SunShineSD- Fine regular babies it shall be. Omg…. Negotiations suck. You know alien babies don’t leave stretch marks like human babies though? So its your choice, do you want a stretch marked wife that doesn’t put out with a human baby that cry’s for a bottle and diaper change? Or do you want an ultra cool alien baby that leaves no stretch marks and moves the bottle with his mind instead of waking you up at 2am.

  149. euphoria says:

    @SunShineSD- ItS OK… I think my bar tending job can cover the maintenance + some!

  150. SouthernSB says:

    Josh says:
    One of the now-former SBs continues to hit me up for assistance even though we have not had play time for one reason or the other. Since her requirements are low, I continue to help her out even though no sex is being exchanged anymore. Will sex happen again. Maybe. I like her as a person and will continue to help her in some capacity in the foreseeable future.

    Well, Josh is a softie after all!! WOW!! I never thought I would witnesses it.

  151. gtt_envy says:

    See Josh you aren’t as bad as you come across. If you shared more of that people wouldn’t think you hated women as much they think you do.

  152. Josh says:

    @SunShineSD

    “I will pay for the car itself, but the running cost will be substantial for a Macan giftee.”

    I don’t think you have to worry about such insignificant details. The gas price will come from child support, which will be 10 times higher than the national average. 😉

  153. Josh says:

    even though as I age in this sugar world I look for sex quicker then ever lol.”

    While mostly posting wishful thinking, sometimes you do share ground reality happenings. Above is one such rare example. 😉

    One of the now-former SBs continues to hit me up for assistance even though we have not had play time for one reason or the other. Since her requirements are low, I continue to help her out even though no sex is being exchanged anymore. Will sex happen again. Maybe. I like her as a person and will continue to help her in some capacity in the foreseeable future.

    That is one of my realities.

  154. Josh says:

    @SunShineSD

    I am formally trained in finding solutions.

    However before one can find solution the problem needs to be properly defined AND all available information must be used towards the solution. 😉

  155. gtt_envy says:

    Why doesn’t it make it better Josh? One SD is looking for sex each and every time they meet and the other is interested in more than that. In building up, encouraging, helping, and the occasional sex too.

    You don’t think there is a difference? Is sure do…..even though as I age in this sugar world I look for sex quicker then ever lol.

    Seems like one group is looking for a escort and the other wants a SB…..No?

    Flyr seems like he would be a great SD vs the pay4play sex from meet 1 that other SDs promote in the blog.

  156. SunShineSD says:

    @Josh
    Find solutions, not problems.

  157. SunShineSD says:

    @euphoria
    Of course we can have it in writing. No alien babies though; has to be human baby, more specifically, my biological child that I can take sole custody or joint legal custody after birth. Getting preggie with alien sperm would result in quick disqualification 😉

  158. Josh says:

    @flyR

    “I have gotten a lot from SB’s well beyond physical sex. Part of the joy is the escape from also having to deal with corrupt billionaire bullies and politicians on occasions.”

    The takeaway from SunShineSD’s project is that he does not need women for even sex. Turkey baster has been suggested. Extreme position but it is much more related to real life where many men put up with their women for an extended periods of time for the sake of children.

    Escape from one’s reality can be achieved through many means. If you choose to use your SBs for that purpose then so be it.

    Some SDs choose to indulge in their respective neurosis to project themselves above others.

    Talking about stuff beyond/other than sex does not make your situation better than other SDs. It only means that you have insecurities about sugar and you must make up stuff in your mind to feel secure about sugar. 😉

  159. Josh says:

    @flyR

    Your advice to SDs is utterly useless. Your advice to multiple SBs to lie to SDs tells a different story. That is:

    1. You’re a woman pretending to be an SD, or

    2. You’re a gay man trying to side with the girls, or

    3. You’re an insecure SD, who needs to bend over backwards to the SBs, or

    4. You live in a fantasy world that only exists in your blog posts.

    I am sure whatever you smoke, inhale or inject works for you, and I respect that. 😉

  160. flyR says:

    Elo thanks

  161. euphoria says:

    can we get that in writing?

  162. SunShineSD says:

    LOL. Macan it is, when the baby is here 😉

  163. euphoria says:

    sunshine sd- No, Macan or no alien babies!

  164. Eloquence says:

    @ Flyer

    In accordance with your position, eloquent indeed.

  165. SunShineSD says:

    @euphoria,

    Good thinking plugging for your Macan; you know the price for getting the Macan 😉 BTW, are you sure you prefer running a Macan at about 20mpg instead of an X1 or X4 of comparable size and acceleration but returns close to 30mpg and free maintenance? I will pay for the car itself, but the running cost will be substantial for a Macan giftee.

  166. flyR says:

    @Josh ““Claims that Sugar Babies are simply arm candy for older men is a gross oversimplification of the role. Women who partake in the lifestyle also double as confidants, sometimes even counselors.”

    Really?

    “”I would like to meet these men in a business setting. I may be able to sell them the bridge located on a prime real estate between Brooklyn and Manhattan. 😉 “”

    If you walk down the street focusing on the gutter you’ll see mostly trash. If you look at the sky you’ll see beauty before you trip. If you are aware of both you can experience the beauty and stay safe (from a former SB). I have gotten a lot from SB’s well beyond physical sex. Part of the joy is the escape from also having to deal with corrupt billionaire bullies and politicians on occasions.

    Kind of reminds me of some of the lame “boys” driving fast cars around LA. Lots of swagger on Sunset Blvd but no talent on the road. Same ones with the all arm candy/ no brains (or class) companions.

    Re Convertibles – sadly the rear seats of most have gotten noticeably smaller and lumpier than the old cars. But it’s one more adventure opportinity with the right SB.

  167. SunShineSD says:

    @Southern,
    Thank you for sharing your experience. I need a 4-seat convertible as replacement, just like the one that was stolen, because sometimes I have to have the kids in the back seat. That, and reliving the convertible backseat makeout sessions on the beach under a deep blue sky during high school years, which I never had. LOL. I went to a high school that did not allow students bring their own cars.

  168. euphoria says:

    One of my former sd’s started posting pictures of his new girlfriend at some events like the ones he used to take me to. She was a model from Kenya. Shortly after posting them he invited me to go to his family beach house with him. I didn’t feel comfortable intruding so I deleted him and blocked him from my Facebook page. It just would have felt strange continuing a relationship after seeing the new girlfriends face. It was kind of sad because I’ve seen him off and on for about 4 years.

  169. flyR says:

    pros of SB not having a boyfriend
    usually more relaxed with intimate sex and their pleasure, fewer schedule conflicts, less deception (assuming the boyfriend does not know in the case of those who do have boyfriend, if the SD is single she’s normally available for special days. I’m less concerned about the health stuff if she has an innocent boyfriend than a single SB who likes her nightlife. Less likely to be deceptive in other areas than the SB who is “cheating on her BF”

    What may be a downside for some is that the SB without a boyfriend probably needs a little more tlc, a little thoughtful stuff here and there . The upside is that she generally appreciates it more .

    The third situation is the SB who has or is looking for a girlfriend. One of the revelations was the communication between women . My SB was in her 30’s and really only interested in women her age or older. When we went out younger women were buying her/us drinks and generally acting like frat boys in the presence of a very sexy and younger mrs robinson.

  170. Josh says:

    @SouthernSB

    Life of a monk my firm ass. 😉

    Why would I want to do that? I am enjoying the finest pussy WITHOUT guilt, blackmail and mindfuck women used to give me. I share the pearls of wisdom about women so that I can be challenged and be convinced otherwise. Of course WITHOUT name calling. 😉

  171. euphoria says:

    @sunshine, now you can upgrade to the Macan *evil grin*

  172. SouthernSB says:

    @Josh-I think the life of a monk, spent in silent prayer and compilation for all the Sugarbabies of the world would really do you good. We could even make you a patron saint and make pilgrimages on New Year’s Eve.

  173. Josh says:

    @SouthernSB

    “@Josh-Why on earth do you think every woman on the planet is out to get you?”

    I like to believe that mybposts are tiny bit more nuanced compared to the above. :)

    Not “every woman on the planet” is “out to get” me. My attorney is not out to get me. The teller i just visited at the bank is not out to grt me. My female boss or colleagues are not out to get me just because they happen to be female.

    The only women who are potentially “out to get” me are those who in reality have some emotional or legal currency with me, or at least maintain the perception of having the same. 😉

  174. SouthernSB says:

    I could never have a BF and a SD at the same time. I’m terrible at juggling.

  175. SouthernSB says:

    @Josh-Why on earth do you think every woman on the planet is out to get you? Honestly, if it’s that bad perhaps you should just retire from the sugar game and dating altogether and find yourself a nice spot at a Ashram somewhere in India?
    @SunShineSD-What a shame about the car!! I know just how you feel!! My former x-box stole mine. I’ve never felt so betrayed in my life. The only good thing about it is that I was finally able to get rid of the 11 yrs. younger x-box, never could replace the car though. Hey, maybe you could splurge and get yourself a ‘F’ class.

  176. gentle(man)soul says:

    How’s everybody hanging ? Euphoria ,you seem to have the best attitude towards the sugar bowl .

    IRL relationships definitely are hard to manage for married SDs. Unless you are a travelling SD and can live a separate life out of town it is fraught with hazard . I have great difficulty feeling secure with M&Gs in town and have to get to the “staying in ” part of the relationship quickly . I miss the dating aspect -going out ,treating my SB to a fancy experience ,etc.

    As far as the SB having an IRL BF ,I do not like it . I prefer bareback sexual activities and do not want another guy contributing to the organism pool ,for lack of a more delicate way to put it . Plus I want my Baby to focus on her work, friends, and me ,not necessarily in that order . I want her to be at a point in her life where she is too busy for a real relationship and just needs a profitable ,enjoyable release .

  177. Dopey7 says:

    SunShineSD

    Sorry to hear about your car… one of mine has been at the shop for 2 months, so it may as well have been stolen….. no biggie but I have only owned it for 3 months :-) I have had 3 cars stolen in 30 years

    Mixing either IRL and SD, or SB with MARRIED SD is a recipe for disaster in many instances IMHO… I prefer the one woman one guy deal

  178. SunShineSD says:

    Thanks NC Gent. Yeah, it’s the first time ever for me, to have a car stolen.

  179. NC Gent says:

    hey Sunshine SD — so sorry about your car — never had a car stolen but that must be a pretty empty feeling when you come looking for your car and it is gone.

  180. NC Gent says:

    Josh — regarding blackmail. First, blackmail is a felony so that serves as a pretty strong deterrent. Second, true sugar relationships are based upon mutual respect and friendship. Being blackmailed by a long-term SB has never remotely even been considered an issue. I did have one woman try to blackmail me after one meeting – that is the bigger threat – the first timer that is desperate.

  181. SunShineSD says:

    Just checking in. Had a fun father’s day with the kids. Then my convertible got stolen. Still missing. Not sure if I want it back at this point. May just be the legit reason to get a new one after so many years. I always hated replacing fully functional cars, seeing that as a waste, but having one stolen and probably made a mess of by this point is as good a reason as any to get a new one; the thief may have just solved my dilemma.

  182. Josh says:

    @Angela

    “Claims that Sugar Babies are simply arm candy for older men is a gross oversimplification of the role. Women who partake in the lifestyle also double as confidants, sometimes even counselors.”

    Really?

    I would like to meet these men in a business setting. I may be able to sell them the bridge located on a prime real estate between Brooklyn and Manhattan. 😉

  183. Josh says:

    It seems that most married SDs are open about their marital status.

    I do “understand” that everything a woman does, does not do, have or does not have is a man/men/MANkind’s fault. 😉

    But I wonder how these men avoid being blackmailed by their SBs at certain stage of their sugar relationship.

  184. NC Gent says:

    I have tried to sugar date women that have IRL boyfriends, but whenever a schedule conflict came up, I ended up losing out. I understand it is much easier to make a b.s. excuse to me than I boyfriend. I try to avoid sugar dating SBs with serious bfs. I don’t mind if they are casual dating as long as it doesn’t impact me. It takes quite a bit of effort for me to set aside some hours for a date, and I don’t like wasting that time, especially when there is a last minute cancellation.

    I also agree with being totally honest about your dating-relationship status. A married SD doesn’t hide he has a wife, and so it is only fair that an SB doesn’t hide that she has a serious bf. Let both parties make decisions based upon full disclosure IMHO.

  185. euphoria says:

    stupid auto correct

  186. flyR says:

    In addition to euphoria’s sound advice I think it’s more difficult to balance the two than most SB’s think in the beginning.

  187. euphoria says:

    virgin blog.
    I tend to stay away from irl boyfriends when i sucar date. tried to do both a few times and the irl boyfriends just got really mad and called me a hooker upon breakups. im not a fan of nasty breakups!

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