4 years ago
What’s Up, New York?

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So it’s been a hot minute since we threw New York a party. Don’t you think it’s time we came back to Manhattan?

Good, we thought so too. If you’ve ever been to any of our events in New York in the past, please let us introduce you to the new standard of SeekingArrangement events. We have a new event team, a brand new venue in the heart of Manhattan, and just the right assets to bring together the aspiring somethings and the successful men who want to court them.

It’s a rough transition to get from dorm living to achieving your dreams of waking up in a penthouse on the Upper East Side. Graduation is only a few weeks away, and we want to make sure every girl isn’t just walking away with only a degree. It doesn’t hurt to get a leg up in the real world, and this party is the perfect opportunity to do just that.

This is our first New York party in more than 2 years, and we can’t wait to throw you all a classy, sexy memorable event. So put on your white or black party dress and grab a mask because it’s going down on May 2nd at Yotel in Times Square. Fellas, black or white tailored suits are a must for those who don’t want to leave… alone. Tickets go on sale at midnight tonight, with VIP tables on sale April 11th: CLICK HERE TO PURCHASE TICKETS.

Who can we expect to see there?


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208 Responses to “What’s Up, New York?”

  1. Appreciate it! It a incredible webpage!|

  2. Thanks for finally talking about > The Sugar Affair | May
    2 | New York City < Liked it!

  3. DancingDevi says:

    I know this is an old blog, but I’m just as confused by this choice on SA’s part as I was about the Toronto party. If the goal is to attract a decent number of college students or imminent graduates, then planning a party in one of the largest and most expensive cities in the US during the week or the week before most of us have finals and term papers due is not the way to go about it. Way to avoid considering what is going to make this attractive to collegiate SBs – screwing with the end of a semester won’t cut it.

  4. Zack says:

    The best flirting is on old blogs.

  5. Josh says:

    @Moe El

    A couple of people have shown interest, but not a lot.

    By the way, if you dont know it already, the trend on this blog is that bloggers hangout at the most recent article. :)

  6. Moe El says:

    I’m trying to gauge the excitement level for this event. Is anyone on this forum going?

  7. Zack says:

    Wasn’t it mostly paternalistic Feminists (lol) with their panties in a bunch? (metaphorically rhetorically speaking)

  8. DarkHorseSD says:

    Alice, someone has to pay for all those “students” in their late 20s in the cafés. You are a Sugar Momma and don’t even know it.

    No wonder France is concerned about SA muscling in on their action.

  9. Kms2014 says:

    Prostitution.procon dot org goes into much detail for each country.

  10. Kms2014 says:

    Prostitutio.procon dot org might be a better site to go for legality specifics…Wikipedia can be wrong sometimes as well.

  11. Kms2014 says:

    France–a beautiful place to vacation or retire to…not so much for the working years.

  12. aliceS says:

    I don’t know if it is legal here or not. I thought it wasn’t. But I saw a lot prostitutes in a bright day, waiting for their clients. That’s crazy. I’m having a family walk with my kids and there is some crazy dressed sluts. Anyway, I am not going to talk to any french people, and I was right not doing it in a past. French government will squeeze last cents from you, if they only have a possibility. For example I am self employed. If I earn 10 euro I need to pay 21.5% taxes to RSI. For example I gained 100euros in one year. I already gave up 21.50 euros to them. But now I need to pay year full income tax. Which is 19.9% plus 0.8% all from 100. They don’t count mine 21.50 less. They still count this as 100. So 100 less 21.50 less 19.90 less. My net income is 57.80. I still need use same money to pay for my gas to get to the client. My car insurance. Etc.. yes, taxes in France are crazy. I’m lucky I didn’t jumped over the average incomes. If not they add taxes for that as well.

  13. DarkHorseSD says:

    Maybe seductive bad press instead of good bad press.

  14. DarkHorseSD says:

    “Look up “prostitution in Europe” – even better, I’ve been there. I’ve generally seen it in licensed places usually with weekly medical tests. Thus my snark about the grease going to the right places.

    “When it comes to media coverage…” Media coverage isn’t the whole picture. But concern is for when media slant goes from naughty titilating good bad press to bad bad press of horror stories.

  15. DarkHorseSD says:

    “Is this reason enough to disallow “before the panties hit the floor” type of discussion/advise on this blog?”

    The fact that it is SOP in prostitution is a big reason. It also becomes more of a likelihood when the only values traded are sex and money.

    • SD Guru says:

      @DarkHorseSD
      “Nevertheless, its hard to believe prostitution is illegal in France. lol”

      Look up “prostitution in Europe” on Wikipedia. It’s legal in most of Europe to various degrees including France. That’s why the media frenzy and political posturing there seem like it’s much ado about nothing.

      “I didn’t want to start listing the potentially disastrous things that might happen if quality and reality were not focused on”

      When it comes to media coverage of the sugar world you can pretty much expect prostitution being part of it. That’s been the case since day one. It’s not directly related to quality and reality, it’s all about stereotype and perception.

  16. DarkHorseSD says:

    Nevertheless, its hard to believe prostitution is illegal in France. lol

    Perhaps just not the proper licensing and fees going to the right bureaus?

  17. DarkHorseSD says:

    “SD GURU today our french news was going crazy about sa site. French government want to sue site and block all french users, they said this is prostitution site, what is illegal in France. Press members payed 3k to one girl from here, pretending to be an sd. She asked for 3k. They spoked about sex. And she said for 3k she will do a lot. But every additional masochism she will charge additionally. Now all France is siting on sa looking at whores* I hide my profile from searching. It get on my nerves…”

    Ok, I didn’t want to start listing the potentially disastrous things that might happen if quality and reality were not focused on (regardless of image, reality is some buffer to the eventuality of tragedy) but here it is, so this is in the nature of some of the concern.

    And I’ll leave out some of the other unpleasant possibilities I could imagine.

  18. Sugardoll says:

    @alice

    Just relax, if you too scared i would cancel my account and create a new one with another country…

    **JR
    I would also like to go to the party, im single, so im not scared of the press, my family is kind of close mind, but i have always done what i want and they know it..lol, besides they will never think i was into that, remember since excuses exist nobody its wrong. i will just say thats not me, but looks very alike…lol

  19. Kms2014 says:

    @Alice…sounds like intimidation by the French authorities to scare you into paying ‘the man’ his taxes…but it sounds like they are using the sex and money excuse, in order to have an excuse to collect the taxes on any money received. Have you received any funds or transfers? You are probably fine, if not, since they want your Euros. I’ve heard about the taxes in France….Aren’t they proposing a 75% tax rate on those making over one million Euros? Crazy….

  20. aliceS says:

    SD GURU yes I think I will take a break from it. It is not legal here to have sex for the money. But I’m not sure. I think it’s fully legal in Switzerland. They declare it here as erotica massage. Still a lot of escorts are on the streets, selling themselves. Some are in a small truck by the road. :/ well need to wait till people forget. I blocked all french that was looking at my profile. Hopefully that helps. And I added a huge privacy policy paragraph. My profile is hidden as well. I prefer to avoid problems. I think they chase more the incomes from this then the escort services. Cause in here the fees for false tax statement is really high, you may even go to jail for that.

  21. Zack says:

    Paying for sex is legal in France?

  22. Zack says:

    Breathe and relax dear. Keep us posted? Prioritize…Don’t Panic.

    • SD Guru says:

      @AliceS

      I’m sorry to hear about the situation and I’m surprised by the reaction in France. Did you know prostitution is legal there? (but not pimping or soliciting, go figure.) I’m sure there are hundreds of escort sites in France that the media and government have chosen to ignore because it’s not new news, but they went after SA because it’s from the US. By the way, I used SA in Paris a few years ago and met a lovely SB there.

      I’m not a lawyer, and I don’t play one on tv either, but my hunch is that all this media frenzy and political posturing will blow over in a few days or weeks. If you feel stressed then by all means take a break from the site and go back when the coast is clear. The media in general view the sugar lifestyle with skepticism and disdain, and any time money and sex is involved they automatically assume it must be prostitution. That’s nothing new here in the US though.

      @SunshineSD

      After that round about way of discussing the merits of a prenup, let’s go back to your original statement that “Prenup’s would not be able to exclude a wife from gains that the couple have made together during a marriage” which I maintain is not correct. That aspect is one of the most important part of a prenup. While there are circumstances where a prenup can be invalidated by court, the high net worth people who spent all that time and money on prenup do so with the understanding that it can offer protection in case of a divorce.

  23. aliceS says:

    Whore*

  24. aliceS says:

    Btw you are guilty till you proof you are innocent here. I’m so fuck in happy I never ever had a local date. Gosh.. that’s unbelievable. I could have end up in prison. If not in prison, cause I never was charged with anything, it might allow them to take away my kids. Cause where is no good role model for children. OMG I’m shaking from stress

  25. aliceS says:

    Josh french government is actually looking at all people who are from France and are on sa. They said they are checking all french members and try to sue some. Due to some investigation about email, where sex was mentioned. Unfortunately for me, the girl who was picked up by French press act like a real hooker. I don’t want to receive a letter to home asking me to come to the police station and proof I never had sex. Ladies are verified due to the non registered incomes, bank account will be checked about non explainable money transfers. Or putting money into account. And from that sum, they will evaluate how much taxes you missed plus fees. It’s horrible. I’m terrified. And I don’t want to be contacted by any french members, cause I can’t know if it is a press or cops. Who will use everything against me. :(((

  26. Zack says:

    The Voice of SA?
    “Seeking Arrangement is not prostitution. Prostitution is an exchange of sex for money. These relationships do not include sex,” “We are a dating website that brings together people who share the same values, much like dating websites based on religion or occupation. We strictly prohibit the solicitation of sex for money on all of our websites.

    “For many girls, this is a viable option to be able to concentrate on their studies without the financial burden. It is not just the money that helps, but also the mentorship of successful and wealthy men.”

  27. Josh says:

    @aliceS

    Very sorry to hear that. Please take proper precautions.

    Is this reason enough to disallow “before the panties hit the floor” type of discussion/advise on this blog?

  28. Zack says:

    Heheh, so this is marketing?

  29. aliceS says:

    Btw sd guru can I change my country?? Is it possible if I log from France?

  30. aliceS says:

    SD GURU today our french news was going crazy about sa site. French government want to sue site and block all french users, they said this is prostitution site, what is illegal in France. Press members payed 3k to one girl from here, pretending to be an sd. She asked for 3k. They spoked about sex. And she said for 3k she will do a lot. But every additional masochism she will charge additionally. Now all France is siting on sa looking at whores* I hide my profile from searching. It get on my nerves…

  31. Kms2014 says:

    @Elaine…great post regarding the deterioration of many marriages, from earlier today!

  32. Kms2014 says:

    Ugh, what annoying people that KimK and Kanye West character are. He is a raging narcissist and she is a vacuous woman with a ridiculous behind that has been injected with so much fat it must be extremely buoyant. Strange that so many people must watch that reality show, in order for it to still be on the air. The ‘dumbing’ down of America continues in Hollyweird, hehehe.

  33. Josh says:

    @SunShineSD

    Wouldn’t it be simpler to give an example of a prenup, which was indeed invalidated by a court based on your understaning of how prenup do work? 😉

  34. SunShineSD says:

    @Guru

    The validity of a contract is not shown when it is drawn up, but when it is successfully defended in court when one party decides to break it. If Kim K. loses all her own money during the marriage while Mr. West grows his wealth, it’s doubtful Kim K. would be content with only $1M per year at divorce. If they can not settle it out of court, that will be the time to test the validity of the prenup.

  35. SunShineSD says:

    @Guru

    Anyone can enter into any contract if they can find a counter-party. Some do so merely as a tactic for future litigation. I’m not familiar with Kim K or Mr West. A quick look up seems to indicate the following background info on the case:

    1. They intend to keep their finances separate. Each of them had somewhere between 20mil to 100mil net worth prior to marriage.

    2. Kim K. had a prenup with her former husband Kris Humphries. That did not work out well for Mr. Humphries at all.

  36. Zack says:

    @ Josh,

    Please take it for the idea that we tend to repeat our own patterns and searches. I think I am probably compatible, long term, with less than 95% of women. (Well, I hope so.) And for that matter, there are many ways in which we could be “wrong;” wouldn’t be the first time.

    Come to think of it, it’s a wonder I ever get a date, Lol.

    www youtube com/watch?v=0m0iqYmP-oI

  37. Josh says:

    @Elaine

    The ratio of men to women in United States (or the world for that matter) is almost 1:1.

    So if there are only 5 wrong men out of 100 then it does not make any sense that they are simultaniously pairing up with 100 or even 50 women and giving bad name to the entire male gender.

    Either the number of “wrong” men is much higher or many women are incorrectly blaming their own sabotage on men.

    The converse argument does not make much sense either. So I guess you will have to recalibrate your percentages based on some hard data. 😉

  38. Zack says:

    M&S law, contractual slavery, marriage and the mainstream.

    Ia the blog interesting yet? Think tank, lol.

    //www youtube com/watch?v=IsvfofcIE1Q

  39. SunShineSD says:

    @Guru,

    There has been several cases where prenups were invalidated by court. . . making the supposed protection provided by prenups quite dubious when significant income takes place during a marriage. The operative basis for a divorce settlement is “equitable”; a prenup that fails the test is no more enforceable in a court than a voluntary slavery contract drawn up in an M-S relationship.

    I have not researched the legal aspects of marriage intensively lately. Having previously been in a marriage for nearly a decade, I have no desire to be in that position again. It’s not the woman per se, but the politics associated with the entire other family I do not wish to deal with. I’m happy to support my women and children; the cousins to nth degree on her side seeking college funding, how much to which cousins is fair relative to other cousins, etc. that stuff gets old fast. My ex-wife actually offered to sign a prenup before marrying me; I decided to skip it, reasoning that despite the lopsided portfolios between the two brought to the marriage, I’d probably make still more, much more, during the marriage. When the marriage ended, I bought her a house as “divorce gift” and to this day still pay her more than double what the divorce decree mandates . . . partly as a reward for the amicable divorce. I know I got lucky in that divorce; do not wish to try my luck again. That’s why in the future I will limit my exposure to child support, very generous child support 10x or more than the average child support payments out there, but not even greater risks that a marriage might bring.

  40. Elaine says:

    @ Josh

    A big percentage I suppose, as counts also for men being attracted to the “Wrong” women.

    The “wrong” ones use to be the most attractive because unobtainable and out of reach…

    Which is ok, as long as you do realise this yourself and don’t blame the complete gender for their “wrong” brothers and sisters :-)

    Because at the end it is you who decides to chase adventure instead of security….
    So don’t complain if you get burned after playing with fire! :-)

    @ Guru

    I don’t need to call names to make my point :-)

  41. Richard says:

    @Elaine – Very nicely said. As I’ve gotten older I’ve started to recognize my tendencies and the deeply rooted reasons why I tend to be attracted to a certain type of woman. And they are definitely a small minority of women and not representative of an entire sex.

    Similarly, I tend to attract a certain type of woman. I’m somewhat quiet (usually), strong, confident, patient and have a calming influence on most women, so you can imagine the type of woman who gravitates towards me. Not necessarily good. :/

    I think each of us attracts and is attracted to a specific type of person. Part of being an adult is recognizing that and, if necessary, changing that tendency.

    • SD Guru says:

      @DarkHorseSD
      “I don’t know if SA has the best quality. I believe it has the most members.”

      Even though we have differing opinions I think this is a good discussion. There is a popular sugar dating site that claims to have the most members. However, I don’t think the quality of its membership measures up to SA’s.

      “I don’t consider WYP or Travel good innovations, and they are separate web sites so it defeats the synergy of membership numbers.”

      Remember innovation can come in various forms and not all innovation will succeed. WYP and Miss Travel were a good way to explore whether a different business model could be better than SA’s. I wouldn’t be surprised to see similar innovation/experiments in the future.

      “At this size SA is still a niche. Suppose the goal is to become mainstream where the really big numbers are. Then changes are needed.”

      Sugar dating will always be a niche or subset of dating in general. I don’t think anyone wants to see SA become “mainstream” like Match, POF, or OKCupid. Another popular sugar dating site has evolved over time to become more of a regular dating site, which then makes it much harder for those who are looking for sugar relationships.

      “but some algorithm should be better than none.”

      That may be true, but at the end of the day any algorithm is only as useful as the self submitted data that people put in their profiles. And we know how truthful people are in their profiles! :mrgreen:

      @SunshineSD
      “There has been several cases where prenups were invalidated by court…”

      I’m not a lawyer and I don’t play one on tv either. A prenup is a contract and can be invalidated by court for various reasons. But that doesn’t mean all contacts or prenups are useless. That’s why one should have good legal counsel in these matters to ensure the prenup serves its intended purpose and is enforceable in court.

      By the way, have you heard about Kayne’s $1M/year prenup for Kim K? I’m sure he makes way more than that in a year. Based on the “equitable” criteria you’d think her lawyer is incompetent! 😛

  42. DarkHorseSD says:

    Guru writes, “That’s a valid point, but right now is there a better product out there in terms of quality? As for innovation, it appears that WYP and Miss Travel were an effort to leverage the success of SA into related areas, so that’s one form of innovation.”

    I don’t know if SA has the best quality. I believe it has the most members. If you are on top you still need to innovate to stay on top and to avoid stagnation. I think brand quality becomes important at this stage with this many members of such activity.

    I don’t consider WYP or Travel good innovations, and they are separate web sites so it defeats the synergy of membership numbers.

    At this size SA is still a niche. Suppose the goal is to become mainstream where the really big numbers are. Then changes are needed. Ways of differentiating profiles from the lower end ones. Adopting some parameters that other sites have to use as search criteria.

    Wade doesn’t think matching algorithms work well. I agree, but some algorithm should be better than none. For example, those little pictures of “featured members” on the right of a page…no intelligence whatsoever is discernible in the ones presented to the user. Nevertheless, I focus on searchable criteria not algorithms.

    “Many SD’s are repeat customers, some for many years like myself. In general there are way more SD’s who have been on the site for a long time than SB’s. As for quality, here was my response to you last time we had this discussion. This may sound counterintuitive, but you need the quantity to get to the quality you want. Remember, what constitutes as the ideal SB or SD could be different for everyone, so the more choices the better.”

  43. DarkHorseSD says:

    I’m pretty sure Guru is right about the prenup. At least I had such a prenup in the 90s if that is still relevant.

  44. DarkHorseSD says:

    YOUR reality becomes unimportant if it is patently silly. Josh’s reality isn’t as bad as that.

  45. DarkHorseSD says:

    I’m sure 5% is a few percent higher and percent is of men’s lives, so ie 60-70% of men could be wrong for an average of 10-12% of their lives, with some wrong 100%.

  46. JR says:

    This event looks fun – is the dress code strict? I got a new charcoal gray suit that I really like, and would want to wear that (I tend to avoid black suits unless it’s a funeral, and white makes me look like a waiter).

  47. Josh says:

    @Elaine

    What percentage of women, in your opinion, are getting attracted to these 5% “wrong” men? 😉

    • SD Guru says:

      @Elaine
      “Maybe you suffer a “Wrong woman syndrome”?”

      That’s the best rebuttal I’ve seen to Josh’s reality and you did so without calling him names. Kudos to you! We all have some form of confirmation bias based on our own values and experiences, and that’s why I wrote the “sugar reality” piece.

      @SunshineSD
      “Prenup’s would not be able to exclude a wife from gains that the couple have made together during a marriage. Prenup’s can only exclude pre-marital assets from being divided.”

      I don’t think that’s correct. There are plenty of celebrity prenup as examples where the compensation is pre-defined regardless of amount of asset accumulated during the marriage. For a man of means, I’m surprised that you still have misconceptions about prenup and community property laws. Have you talked to your lawyer/accountant/psychiatrist about your SB impregnation plan? :mrgreen:

  48. gentle(man) soul says:

    @Elaine

    Amongst us women exists a well-known phenomenon called “The wrong guy syndrome”

    Very thoughtful and well said Eaine

  49. aliceS says:

    Hi Elaine, I agree with what you said there. It is hard for both parts. And it is a fault by two sides as well. He work and feel not appreciated, she work at home and feel not appreciated as well both do hard jobs. But when there is a lack of a communication, marriage can’t be saved. She need a lover to have an emotional connection. He need a mistress for the same. Instead of talking to each other, it seems easier to do so with the strangers. Think our katpaw have a perfect solution with her husband to avoid such. But it takes really open mind and will. I’m not sure I would be so strong and open. But it’s an option that seems to work for both of them

  50. Zack says:

    “In general there are way more SD’s who have been on the site for a long time than SB’s. As for quality…”

    Elaine, it seems you may be in a more rare and valued demographic than millionaires. Quality well-spoken SB’s provide models for new SB’s…on the blog. But the blog is free (well, in a sense :) and not tightly coupled to SA marketing.

    If we get some good ideas, maybe I should start asking pots to read a few blogs before first meet.

  51. Elaine says:

    @ Josh

    “A non-passive agressive woman who does not engage in mind fucks and does not proactively sabotages her relationship is a rare find.”

    Please don’t do this again.

    First because the majority of women are not like you describe.

    If these are the sort of women you seem to always encounter in your life, it really has to do with you!

    Amongst us women exists a well-known phenomenon called “The wrong guy syndrome”
    Unconsciously always attracting and falling for the wrong men.
    pretty good at it myself *lol*)

    Nearly almost has to do with experiences in the past and it is a repeating pattern because in a certain way it feels “familiar”.

    Does this means all guys are “wrong”?
    No, it is maybe 5% of all men, but it is exactly these 5% she feels attracted to, so in her reality 100% of men she meets are “wrong”.

    Maybe you suffer a “Wrong woman syndrome”?

    Second reason why and if women are sabotaging their marriage: it is mostly because they are not happy in it.
    Believe me, divorcing is never an easy way, no matter if you are the one left or the one leaving.
    Reasons why it is mostly the woman initializing divorce is because we have more difficulties living in an unsatisfying and unhappy marriage.
    Men are more rational about this, work harder or find reasons to go more often on businesstrips to avoid spending time at home. They find a SB or other ways to coop with the unhappiness at home.
    As long as the kids are being taken care off in a family ambience, the laundry is done and dinner waiting at the end of the day,and don’t forget not having to split up their properties or paying alimony they withstand.

    Whereas we women start feeling more and more emotionally neglected and taken for granted untill the point we see no other way as leaving.

    I am not saying one is wrong and the other is right.
    It is just a different way of living a situation.

    So that is why it is not right so state that women are sabotaging their marriages, men do the same, only in a different way.

    Both will lead to the same outcome though; divorce.
    In which case she initializes, but mostly because he hasn’t the balls to do so.
    Who is to blame in this case?
    None or both!

  52. Josh says:

    Journalists are sneaky bastards.

    Those who will be deployed to this event will be there to collect dirt and not to perform responsible journalism.

    There is a bigger polpulation that sees sugar as prostitution, and these journalist will feed the fenzy.

    • SD Guru says:

      @Kms2014
      “aren’t the majority of SD on SA married?”

      I’d estimate the percentage to be around 50% or so. It used to be higher but it has decreased gradually over time. Please note I wrote “If the marriage is solid and the sex is good at home”, which I don’t think would apply to most married SD’s on SA.

      @SunshineSD
      “She [Brandon’s wife] is the author of the blog article, IIRC.”

      That’s incorrect. There were 5 blog authors recently, Jenn, Angela, Brook, Susan, and Leroy. All are employees of SA.

      @DarkHorseSD
      “I do see the mass market strategy straining and breaking at some point to the quality issue. Evolving and innovating keeps businesses going strong. Good product keeps customers coming back and paying well.”

      That’s a valid point, but is there a better product out there in terms of quality right now? As for innovation, it appears that WYP and Miss Travel were an attempt to leverage the success of SA and branch out to other areas, so that’s one form of innovation.

      “In sugar, more than traditional dating, repeat business is a greater possibility. Relationships can turn over and over; if they are good, your customer could keep coming back for more. So quality has a bigger impact on the bottom line.”

      Many SD’s are repeat customers, some for many years like myself. In general there are way more SD’s who have been on the site for a long time than SB’s. As for quality, here was my response to you last time we had this discussion. This may sound counter intuitive, but you need the quantity to get to the quality you want. Remember, what constitutes the ideal SB or SD could be different for everyone, so the more choices the better.

  53. Josh says:

    @SunShineSD

    “@Josh
    …regarding women sabotaging their relationships, perhaps it’s because they no longer see their continued presence in it as morally justified. They want to be out of it because somehow they are ashamed of it, whatever compromise she is making to stay with the man. IMHO, that happens in marriage and dating (including sugar dating).”

    Posible, but not convincing. It is relatively easier to identify HOW women proactively sabotage their relationships, but it is not quite as easy to determine WHY. 😉

  54. flyR says:

    “@Josh
    It looks like the press aren’t going to be allowed to freely wander around the party – they’ll be put into a separate room, so anyone who wants to speak with them can go in of their own accord.”

    Let me see if I understand this correctly

    In room A there will be a hundred or so attractive, wild women , dressed to the hilt, sipping champagne and chatting with millionaires. Champagne and wine will be flowing, nubile young and financially solvent older will be on an accelerated path to finding commong ground in the sugar bowl.

    In a drab Room B members of the press will contently be munching on cold chicken wings and sipping Chuckie Shaw january 14 . The press would never think of simply watching who comes and goes or even wandering into the room in search of the next expose. …… The Duke girl does NY. They are being paid to get a story that gets readers through text and pictures.

    I’m not trying to pick on SA who does many things well but respecting the members privacy is not one of them .

  55. SunShineSD says:

    Prenup’s would not be able to exclude a wife from gains that the couple have made together during a marriage. Prenup’s can only exclude pre-marital assets from being divided.

  56. Josh says:

    With such a high number of marriages ending up in divorce, anyone with a decent fortune not requiring their spouse-to-be to sign a prenup is a fool.

    I say this for men as well as women.

  57. Josh says:

    “People joke about men want to turn SB’s into GF’s, GF’s into wives, wives into ex-wives”

    I am sure “some” men do.

  58. Josh says:

    “If I want to be a star or a celebrity, I’d move myself to the Hollywood”

    With some acting lessons, I bet, you’d make a decent living.

  59. MissBabyJ says:

    @Josh
    It looks like the press aren’t going to be allowed to freely wander around the party – they’ll be put into a separate room, so anyone who wants to speak with them can go in of their own accord.
    Looks like fun – I wonder when they’re going to have a UK event?

  60. SunShineSD says:

    @DHSD

    People joke about men want to turn SB’s into GF’s, GF’s into wives, wives into ex-wives . . . JW may well be a living proof that it’s a highly profitable journey for the SB-GF-Wife (regardless how long the marriage lasts; best wishes for their marriage). She probably owns nearly half of SA! I don’t think even a pre-nup would be able to exclude her from owning a substantial share of SA simply because SA has grown tremendously during their marriage. They may choose to avoid talking about how they met in public, perhaps in consideration for potential children on the way, OTOH, do you notice Jenn is the only one among the blog authors using SA as “last name”? The “Wades” (which is also a pseudonym IIRC) may well have subtly chosen to use SA as last-name in the business space and hint at ownership.

  61. Zack says:

    Are they trying to bring the bloggies together?

  62. aliceS says:

    Missed you both here Josh and Sugardoll. I wouldn’t participate in any sa parties that contains press members and cameras. If I want to be a star or a celebrity, I’d move myself to the Hollywood

  63. Josh says:

    An SA party with press/camera/non-member’s presence is a non-starter for me.

  64. Josh says:

    @DarkHorseSD

    If SA decides that they are not going to take serious measures to improve SB quality, then what?

  65. DarkHorseSD says:

    I will point out that part of this Sugar Affair being advertised is the claim of hand picked high quality SBs in the VIP area.

    This article leads with “If you’ve ever been to any of our events in New York in the past, please let us introduce you to the new standard of SeekingArrangement events”

    So some thought to this quality issue may be gaining traction with the organization.

  66. Josh says:

    41% of SDs were married in April, 2012. 😉

    Boston: A Sugar Daddy Capital?

    By Chris Vogel | Boston Daily | April 5, 2012

  67. DarkHorseSD says:

    “$10 million is an old revenue number. I have read about $30 million annual revenues as well.”

    Yes, but looking at it from the membership size at the time of the revenue citation…

  68. DarkHorseSD says:

    “She is the author of the blog article, IIRC.”

    They got divorced? He doesn’t tout her in recent times. Is blog writing in the prenup (punctuated by some version of el oh el)

  69. Josh says:

    $10 million is an old revenue number. I have read about $30 million annual revenues as well. 😉

  70. DarkHorseSD says:

    From old SD Guru article:

    “Every newbie SB should be able to answer 3 simple questions about herself:

    (1) Why have you chosen to pursue a sugar relationship instead of a traditional relationship? (saying I saw it on Tyra doesn’t count!)

    (2) What would you like your SD to provide for you? (don’t say “show me the money!”)
    and most importantly,

    (3) What can you offer in return? (think about what sets you apart from other SB’s).

    Once you have a clear understanding of how to answer these 3 questions and can articulate it to pot SD’s, then you’re well on your way to finding what you’re looking for. ”

    Consider how little attention is paid to question number 3, while only slight or adequate attention is often paid to 1&2.

    And for 1, ‘I’m really sick of men’ isn’t all that good an answer either.

    The $10M interview with Brandon Wade is more detailed and forthright than other articles, and thus is quite informative.

    How ever the media portrayal, the reality doesn’t have to stand still. I do see the mass market strategy straining and breaking at some point to the quality issue. Evolving and innovating keeps businesses going strong. Good product keeps customers coming back and paying well.

    The $10M figure only amounts to 170,000 paid member months for SDs and the occasional paid SB. It implies only about one paid month per year per SD profile. Why have they left or stopped paying?

    Well, there is the traditional dissatisfied turnover. There is the positive success problem of doing a good enough job to end the members need to subscribe.

    In sugar, more than traditional dating, repeat business is a greater possibility. Relationships can turn over and over; if they are good, your customer could keep coming back for more. So quality has a bigger impact on the bottom line.

    “IMO SA’s marketing draws in a wide range of SB’s and then through a natural selection process those who are “fit” for the sugar world are the ones who stick around.”

    So with regard to that, the concern is that the world that is presented fits too many of a kind that is counterproductive. So change the world.

    From what I’ve seen on both the male and female sides of WYP, it is not a terribly successful, dynamic, member generating web site. I think bad membership is a big concern. A site can attract a counterproductive crowd.

    Before the excitement of rapid growth fades, it’s a good idea to start evolving.

  71. Kms2014 says:

    @Gentle(man)Soul
    “IMHO ALL SDs are caught by their SO if they participate in the lifestyle long enough . It is inevitable . I strongly caution any Sugar player to avoid the pain if your fulltime relationship is solid.”

    I agree. For married SD’s who intend to stay in their marriage, the longer they’re in the sugar world the more sloppy and complacent they can become in terms of being discreet and covering their tracks. If the marriage is solid and the sex is good at home, it’s a lot of risk to take to be active in the sugar world.

    I’m just curious again…aren’t the majority of SD on SA married? Does anyone have statistics? In my experience, ‘most’ men will cheat with another woman(whether she is in a sugar relationship, or a woman from work), and the ones that do not only because they cannot, due to limited funds/ looks/
    charisma… etc. the exceptions are the men with extremely good character or very religious(who practice what they preach, so to speak…another rarity). Women cheat just as much, so I hear…I’ve seen it happen to friends, but to be honest, many women turn a blind eye. They know deep down, and even if shown the proof, many will still stay in denial. Just from what I have seen with my girlfriends…

  72. SunShineSD says:

    @Josh
    forgot to put down the paragraph just for you: regarding women sabotaging their relationships, perhaps it’s because they no longer see their continued presence in it as morally justified. They want to be out of it because somehow they are ashamed of it, whatever compromise she is making to stay with the man. IMHO, that happens in marriage and dating (including sugar dating).

  73. SunShineSD says:

    @Elaine @Josh @Elaine @Kat

    The unsuitability of being a SB is often not so much due to age (so long as of legal age of consent) but the lack of rectitude: the ability to see one’s own actions as morally righteous and consequently able to undertake further actions with joy and pride. Firefighter is a job consisted of years of boredom mixed in with few minutes of sheer terror, the practitioner can see himself doing it to save the lives of the vulnerable in crisis . . . or seeing himself as punching in at a well paid job doing next to nothing most of the time waiting for retirement pensions. If one takes the latter approach, substance abuse and other self-destructive behavior won’t be far behind.

    Likewise, some porn stars build very successful careers either amassing a fortune with the help of a good money manager and/or broadening horizons to other acting roles (frankly, very few well known Hollywood actress did not start her career with some degree of nudity, and increasingly for male actors too as men are also becoming sexualized in pop culture due female audience demanding visual stimulus) . . . whereas the majority of women who dabble in porn do not fair well eventually . . . why? besides the obvious luck factor, I think personal attitude towards one’s own actions play a huge role: a healthy attitude to fully embrace one’s own action, instead of being ashamed of it and becoming stressed out over it.

    That’s why I emphasize the importance of having genuine friendship/relationship. Likewise for SD’s, when I have doubts on whether I can still be a positive influence, I haul myself out of the sugar bowl. If I can not see what I’m doing as morally righteous, I’d rather not do it.

  74. SunShineSD says:

    She is the author of the blog article, IIRC.

  75. DarkHorseSD says:

    What ever happened to Wade’s sugar baby wife?

  76. Josh says:

    “Sex is great, we never fight, and she is freaky, a professional, great heart”

    A non-passive agressive woman who does not engage in mind fucks and does not proactively sabotages her relationship is a rare find.

    I would NOT mess with this relationship.

  77. Sugardoll says:

    Come on guys, lets be realistic, she does not feel excited about it, is not cuz of the good head on her shoulders is for the same reason a lot of women out there dont become SB’s, they see it as prost. (lets keep it real, when you see something from the top until you dont get involve with it, thats the way a lot of ppl will see it)

  78. flyR says:

    “What questions should SA be asking SBs before allowing them to create/publish their profile?”

    Did they read the caution notice

    PARTICIPATING IN SA MAY INDUCE MAJOR LIFESTYLE CHANGES INCLUDING EXCESSIVE SENSUAL ACTIVITY, ENLARGED BANK ACCOUNTS, WANTON PURSUIT OF PLEASURE, DEPRESSION, FANTASIES, SHARING OF FANTASIES WITH BLOGGIES, ABUSE BY SD OR BLOGGIES, DISGUST, THRILLS, BOREDOM, DISAPPOINTMENT, ENLIGHTENMENT, LESSENED DEPENDENCE ON TV, CURLED TOES, ROPE BURNS AND WISDOM. IN CASE OF SERIOUS SIDE REACTIONS CANCEL ACCOUNT, TERMINATE YOUR EMAIL ACCOUNT AND RETURN TO YOUR FAVORITE TV FARE.

  79. flyR says:

    “WYP’s blog readership seems to be much higher compared to comments posted.

    The bids are way down. Winks are down too. Don’t know about the quality of dates yet.”

    Could be the world’s most reliable leading economic indicator – gold is for hoarding but sugar is for consumption

  80. flyR says:

    Im more than a little concerned that with the new blog format it appears that the site is constantly communicating with the computer. (in non geek speak the little circular blue arrow never stops rotating)

    Guru – what’s up

  81. Josh says:

    Let’s Discuss SB Screening:

    What questions should SA be asking SBs before allowing them to create/publish their profile?

  82. Josh says:

    @DarkHorseSD

    WYP’s blog readership seems to be much higher compared to comments posted.

    The bids are way down. Winks are down too. Don’t know about the quality of dates yet.

    Therefore blog bottom-up activism has generated some results. SA reform would need to be more top down. 😉

    • SD Guru says:

      The quality of discussion is way up and the drama quotient is way down. Keep up the good work everyone!

      @Josh
      “Playing with Love to $10M: SeekingArrangement Founder Brandon Wade”

      That was a good read, and it’s consistent with what BW said to the media over time. See my comments about SA’s marketing and business model.

      “What questions should SA be asking SBs before allowing them to create/publish their profile?”

      Here’s what I wrote in my blog about “Questions Newbie SB’s Should Ask“.

      @DarkHorseSD
      “Without making that clear and without offering advice, assistance and direction towards becoming more, the site generates a low end mass market reputation that draws just that.”

      That’s an interesting perspective. IMO SA’s marketing draws in a wide range of SB’s and then through a natural selection process those who are “fit” for the sugar world are the ones who stick around. This is why the average shelf life of a SB’s profile is short and the turnover is high. See my comments above about SA’s marketing and business model. This also goes along with the discussion about quality of membership we’ve had before.

      “Maybe more info displayed about what an SB can be to/for an SD, to make the expectations different. Less pure hype about the glamour and money. More what to give, less what to get.”

      The problem is that no matter what SA does, the media will always portray the sugar lifestyle in a sensational and glamorous way that reinforces the stereotype.

      @FlyR
      “Perhaps the site should have certified “trainer” SD’s strategically located across the country.”

      Actually there are plenty of SB’s offering their “help” on the internet, for a fee of course. As far as I can tell none of them are that successful. Perhaps it’s because they’ve got the business model backwards. In the sugar world SD’s are the ones with resources.

      “in non geek speak the little circular blue arrow never stops rotating”

      I’m not sure what you’re talking about.

      @Gentle(man)Soul
      “IMHO ALL SDs are caught by their SO if they participate in the lifestyle long enough . It is inevitable . I strongly caution any Sugar player to avoid the pain if your fulltime relationship is solid.”

      I agree. For married SD’s who intend to stay in their marriage, the longer they’re in the sugar world the more sloppy and complacent they can become in terms of being discreet and covering their tracks. If the marriage is solid and the sex is good at home, it’s a lot of risk to take to be active in the sugar world.

  83. DarkHorseSD says:

    Josh, no reason for the blog to be substandard regardless of he readership and impact.

    I do think SA, as much as any business, has to be concerned with the product, a big part of which is the make up of the membership.

    The friction to join is minimal. Like you suggested with WYP, a more extensive signup process might be a good answer. Certainly that friction could be used as content for the search database to enhance the searches. Probably win win for SA and the members.

    Maybe more info displayed about what an SB can be to/for an SD, to make the expectations different. Less pure hype about the glamour and money. More what to give, less what to get.

  84. Zack says:

    “Assuming that the young, sexually inexperienced SB wants to proceed further the first checkpoint is the question if she finds having sex with someone she’s not in love with is acceptable. The answers range from no to that sounds exciting.”

    Not all of the ladies on SA are ok with sex, oddly enough. Yeah, that’s an important expectation to work out for oneself and with a -pot early on.

    FlyR’s advice generally works outside SA, too…that’s something the blog brings to the sugarworld even if only a few read it :)

  85. Josh says:

    “certified “trainer” SD’s”

    How long before these SD’s started devouring the green SBs? 😉

  86. flyR says:

    @Zack “Well, without dragging Kat in deeper…what -should- a young lady in her circumstance do? ”

    Perhaps the site should have certified “trainer” SD’s strategically located across the country .

    Assuming that the young, sexually inexperienced SB wants to proceed further the first checkpoint is the question if she finds having sex with someone she’s not in love with is acceptable. The answers range from no to that sounds exciting.

    The next question is if she is sees comfort in having sex with some who is older than she is by perhaps a decade or more (or pursue the successful nerd) What qualities would attract her, would it be an impulsive decision or one which she would think about?

    Consider being very honest and direct in the profile about how you see the process evolving “I want a gentleman whom I respect and that’s not going to develop over a single cup of coffee; but, if you are willing to make an investment of your time, success will be wonderfully rewarded. You’ll also know that you have made a difference in my life”

    When you meet be in the moment. Also be very observant of how he treats you and others around him. Will he treat you like a treasured Ferrari or another Hertz car for which no curb is too high and no pond too deep. Does he look at your inexperience as a jackal looks at a lamb or as a “sacred” responsibility. When you talk does he encourage you to talk about your strengths.

    There’s no guarantee any of this will help but done with a minimal level of effort it will give you far better odds than the guy you just met at a party or bar.

    Final comment – don’t reward bad behavior – don’t neglect to reward good behavior.

  87. Josh says:

    Google this article. I found it to be interesting.

    Playing with Love to $10M: SeekingArrangement Founder Brandon Wade

  88. Josh says:

    @DarkHorseSD

    “without offering advice, assistance and direction towards becoming more, the site generates a low end mass market reputation that draws just that.”

    Though it may be entertainig and/or educational to some, this blog is read by a small minority of the members. Are you suggesting a more rigorous SB screening process by SA OR cultivating raw SB potential by SA?

  89. DarkHorseSD says:

    Yes. Kat had it figured out early on.

  90. Zack says:

    Well, without dragging Kat in deeper…what -should- a young lady in her circumstance do? She does seem to have a good head on her shoulders…she could be a great SB after some experience, I think. Maybe cautiously seeking might suit?

    It can be damaging, but the Sugarbowl may rapidly provide concentrated experiences, if your heart and mind are awake. Six months can be formative.

  91. Elaine says:

    @ Darkhorse

    Right said!
    Fortunally this Kat seems to be a clever girl, that understood in time she was not ready for this game yet. Her conclusion shows wisdom and insight and probably will save her from a lot of damage.
    Wish I would have been so clever at her age….would have saved me a lot of damage.

    @ Sugardoll

    Unfortunally there is a lot of stonecollectors! 😉

  92. Josh says:

    Tiger woods got busted because of texting. 😉

  93. Sugardoll says:

    You are a lucky dude to have an SO as great as that ! I think keeping your whiffle dry outside the SO is an excellent choice .

    **I dont think its hard to find a SB like that, the problem sometimes with some SD’s is that even when they know they got some good SO they keep playing the games with others SB’s, ive always said that everything you focus your interest in will work out…But theres noway to get the diamond if you busy collecting stones!

  94. Zack says:

    “Because the other side is not appreciative of that, unless its stacked with perverts, johns, and players seeking uninteresting women wanting to pretend they aren’t escorts or looking for a way to essentially escort without all the ugliness and risks of straight escorting.”

    That seems like a normal outcome of a “just” sex-for-money mindset, which seems like an escort situation to me. I feel an SB should be looking for and providing more, but I hesitate to define much in the way of difference…it’s not a Black and White affair, lol.

    Hope is a precious, fragile and perennial thing. I hope.

  95. gentle(man)soul says:

    gtt_envy says:

    I think my first issue is the implications of passing something to my LTR partner who is awesome on many levels! I love her dearly as hypocritical as some will think that sounds. Sex is great, we never fight, and she is freaky, a professional, great heart, but like many I found myself longing for that little spice added from time to time hence me joining the site.

    ?? You are a lucky dude to have an SO as great as that ! I think keeping your whiffle dry outside the SO is an excellent choice .

    IMHO ALL SDs are caught by their SO if they participate in the lifestyle long enough . It is inevitable . I strongly caution any Sugar player to avoid the pain if your fulltime relationship is solid . Go back to your SO and don’t look back .

  96. DarkHorseSD says:

    I think while the numbers game plays well in certain ways, eventually reputation is important.

    It’s not about age, however it’s highly unfortunate so many are drawn in with the impression they are going to the financial equivalent of the free clinic you go to for STD and pregnancy tests. Because the other side is not appreciative of that, unless its stacked with perverts, johns, and players seeking uninteresting women wanting to pretend they aren’t escorts or looking for a way to essentially escort without all the ugliness and risks of straight escorting.

    So the impression that you just make a profile and bingo you are an SB with all the attendant privileges and honors thereof, and accompanying rights to large amounts of free money within days of signup is a disservice. It’s all an eventual quality killer (and eventual is upon us today.)

    Without some expectations and standards, ultimately it does boil down to escorting. Without making that clear and without offering advice, assistance and direction towards becoming more, the site generates a low end mass market reputation that draws just that.

  97. Josh says:

    @DarkHorseSD

    Interesting observations about one of the newbies not being ready to be an SB.

    What are your thoughts on SA’s marketing, which is squarely targeting such demographics of young women?

  98. Moe El says:

    For a first timer, would it be best just to get general or VIP ticket? Well i wonder if they will allow the chance to upgrade at the party if you want to(is space is available)

  99. DarkHorseSD says:

    The sugar world is by and large about drama free relationships. People wanting to come to the blog and drum up drama or bring their own drama and get some thrill out of it all is odd.

  100. Luscious says:

    I want to go to the party but I don’t wanna go alone, even though I know I’m not going to leave alone… Lol

  101. Doc says:

    @KatPaw

    Glad to hear things went good for you. 😉

  102. KatPaw says:

    Meow sugars! This kitty happily going to bed purrrrrring after a wonderful sugarlicious day 😉

  103. Josh says:

    @Kms2014

    If you are really serious then I am definitely up for your tits against my tats. 😉

  104. Kms2014 says:

    Yes, very true…I like giving tit for tat sometimes, too, so if I ever do cause a stir, then just know 95% of the time, it is in jest 😉

    I like warmer weather, too, but it went from the 40-50’s to 80, in a week…I wish we had more spring ): It seems to go from winter to summer too quickly ): Oh well, I shouldn’t complain after our winter, though!

  105. SouthernSB says:

    @Kms
    Hi, wonderful day. I’m so happy that spring has finally sprung, I am not a winter person as I like wearing as little clothing as possible. Yes the blog has been quiet for the last few days, but give it a while as some of the regulars will come back and we’ll get new people checking in too. This isn’t the first blog war I’ve seen and it probably won’t be the last. Some people thrive off of drama and other people love to push buttons, that’s just human nature. The trick is not letting yourself get in the middle of it. One of the gentlemen on the blog once said, “Don’t let their problems become your problem,” obviously he was talking about SBs but that’s good advice on the blog and pretty much anywhere in life. I love this blog, it’s like a good neighborhood bar where everyone gets along.

  106. Kms2014 says:

    @southernSB, hey there (: are you enjoying our perfect weather this week? Also…your comment, ‘I also love the cat fights’…could it be that someone’s behavior on the blog, as recent, has, in fact, made the blog less interesting, hehe…;)

  107. Kms2014 says:

    @gttenvy…oh no, I think your concerns are valid, even if you were not married or in a relationship. Thinking of your partner’s health is more than what many do…I just thought it was interesting in that. I have never heard anyone express that on here…Do you think the average SB(aged 18-24) is more sexually active than your average non-sugar baby(aged 18-24) as well? I am well off from that age group anymore, however, I remember being that age once ;)….and had quite a few non-SB friends(I didn’t even know what a SB was back then) who would sleep with a new ‘frat’ boy every weekend, or take home the random guy from a bar quite often(and these girls seemed very innocent in the context of everyday life! I was surprised by their nighttime adventures 😉 Anyway, I was just curious if you felt that most SB were more promiscuous than an average gal of that same age range(escort SB excluded).

  108. SouthernSB says:

    @Frank
    Yes,I come here to relax. I also love the catfights and if this board isn’t good for anything at least I learn the names of all the shoe designers. I was very lacking in my fashion education about that and I read Vogue. But I guess some things are just out of my socioeconomic reach, just like I didn’t know what a Koenigsegg was or White Star champagne. I come here to expand my horizons, have a laugh and even get ideas about which books I should give a try. This board is fun, silly, informative, and somewhat of a guilty pleasure. It would make a hell of a reality show.

  109. gtt_envy says:

    @KMS2014, no I’m not OCD, but I’m sure I have some tendencies and can be quite the extremist.

    I think my first issue is the implications of passing something to my LTR partner who is awesome on many levels! I love her dearly as hypocritical as some will think that sounds. Sex is great, we never fight, and she is freaky, a professional, great heart, but like many I found myself longing for that little spice added from time to time hence me joining the site. A normal philandering wasn’t enough for me the woman had to feel unattainable, so every SB I had was always head tuning beautiful. My LTR is pretty just not whiplash pretty!

    Secondly, the nature of my arrangements/relationships with so little face time just fed my fears. I only saw my SB every 3-5 weeks usually for a weekend or sometimes every 2 weeks for a night.

    If I were single and could see SB’s all the time I’m sure it wouldn’t be as much of a problem. With my low frequency I obviously don’t think she is not having sex for 3 weeks waiting on me lol even if she says she is!! My cynical nature and own demons of what I had to maintain/hide to live this lifestyle won’t allow me to believe they are just sleeping with me.

    Take all of that and add how crappy sex is with a condom which removes some of the fear and it was time to leave the lifestyle. With the rise of Oral cancers from non vaccinated men/women from various HPV strains it makes even the once seemingly low risk activities RISKY.

    If things don’t work out with my LTR and I become single I’m sure I will jump back in with weekly visits and enough face time to trust. For this guy the risk has outweighed the reward!!

  110. Kms2014 says:

    Men like to find new things out about a woman in titillating* steps, hehe…

  111. Kms2014 says:

    @Kat, I’m not advocating lying but just being cautious….you can never be ‘too cautious’, when meeting someone new from the internet–plus, men like a little mystery, so never divulge everything right away, regardless(even in real life relationships, I think men enjoy a little hint of mystery about a new women they are seeing, and like to find things out in tin tilting steps, along the way 😉 However, since it is the internet, one needs to be a little ‘street smart’…not to be deceitful or ‘hide’ things from your sugar daddy, but to be safe. Until you get to know someone a little better, I would not give away my full real name(or, where you live…or, every detail of your financial situation during the first email or first meet. Also, do not appear in dire need for funds, in any way, even if you are really hurting for money. Just my opinion…but, I think you are doing the right thing by waiting. It is good to be in a serene and balanced state of mind, before entering an arrangement. Xx

  112. Sugardoll says:

    @Sasha

    Im also thinking to go to the party…!! where you at?

  113. Sugardoll says:

    Helloooo sugars….

    Josh… mi amor
    Zack… muah
    Alice.. my fav stalker where are you?

    Xoxo to the rest, miss you all guys, sadly back to my reality..!! lol

  114. Kms2014 says:

    @gtt envy’s phobia of stds….interesting…do you have OCD?

  115. gentle(man)soul says:

    Sugar is a 1)hobby 2)passion 3)obsession 4) lifesaver 5) Curse

    SDs need 1) money to burn 2) unsatisfying SO relationship 3)addiction to sex with strangers 4)risk tolerance 5)attention

    SBs need 1)money 2)attention 3)father figure 4)excitement

    2 of these options need to exist for it to happen .For men # 1 has to exist. Usually for women #1 also has to be in the picture. Where do you fit in ?

    Bon Chance to those departing . Most will probably be back when 2 or more needs appear . I’m sure all could add to this list but for the sake of simplicity ——-

  116. frank says:

    @southerSB Come here to relax?? I always came here to see the cat fights. Oh well, guess I’ll put my feet up and relax in the tranquil seas of the sugar world.

  117. Josh says:

    @SouthernSB

    Hmmmm. 😉

  118. DarkHorseSD says:

    Kat is a very clear example of someone who is not prepared to be on SA. She doesn’t have the life skills, social/sexual experience or savvy. No coaching or profile rewriting can resolve this. She just has to live and perhaps eventually become ready as a person. Then the rest of the advice will help.

    But I don’t like the encouragement to hide things. There is far too much deception. Teaching a desperate person how to make inroads makes for a poor SB and unpleasant experiences for SDs.

  119. SouthernSB says:

    This is where I come when I want to relax. This board is fun for me and very informative too. It’s much better than what they are showing on TV right now.

  120. SouthernSB says:

    Maybe some of the “old” people will come back and post on the board. I like this blog better than the news blogs I read all day.

  121. Elaine says:

    Everybody leaving now…? :-(

  122. flyR says:

    @Kat good luck keep in contact

  123. gtt_envy says:

    Hasta la Vista :) Sugar world! Like so many others before it’s time I said goodbye to the world of Sugar! While sweet, over time it just becomes another pretty face and my issues with STD’s just keep making me paranoid.

    I just don’t trust people in the sugar world and the risk of a STD always ends up ruining the fun for me. My experience in the Sugar world only solidifies my fear. Almost every pot SB I’ve met when I bring up STD testing they say “I’m so happy you did you are the first guy to mention that!” I feel as most men just roll the dice and are carefree in that regard, couple that with 18-24yr old promiscuity it became too much.

    Maybe if I were single and not in a LTR it would be different, but because I’m so fearful of bringing something home to the true Princess in my life the sugar world has to be forgotten.

    The new experiences are great, but playing devils advocate, I’ll also argue that sex with a condom no matter how hot the woman borderline sucks and I’ve tried them all even Crown lol!! Of course everything else is great which is what always kept me around. The newness of a first kiss and all the rushes of foreplay, first time experiences in and out of the bedroom, travel, and having that rapport and friendship was always nice, but sex with a condom is like kissing with Saran wrap blech just not good!! Even though most were on BC and we would get to a point that we wouldn’t use a condom then the sex would be great, but that fear would come back instantly. Then I would perseverate on the “what if I caught something?” STD tests and paranoia until the results came in 3-4 days rinse and repeat. I had to get off the train 😉

    Best of luck to all be safe and have fun!! Make it memorable 😉

  124. kat says:

    Hi @Josh, Thank you. Two different names, profile and blog. I figured since I’m such a mess right now, I’d take a break. I think all of you should come together to write a book or something, you guys been so helpful. Or perhaps a colleage for SD/SB dating. Heh. That’d be awesome wouldn’t it?

    Hi @Kms2014, Nah, I turned him down. He got back to me with a weekly proposal, in which I turned him down as well. I’m staying in the European region, Spain is 100 bucks from here, so to speak. The accomondation is pretty much free, they had a family house over there. 100 bucks for a day just wouldn’t cut it. The financial thingy, it’s hard to explain and it’s very complicated. I’m not from the US, neither am I from the European region. I do not received any monetary favours from the gov, my own gov turned me down for student loan because I grew up and received my early education elsewhere (not from my home country), therefore my own gov wouldn’t grant me study loan, elsewhere wouldn’t do so too, because I’m not a residence, etc, so I ended up taking private loan. It’s a long story, and I’m not making this up. See how naive I’d be, I’d answer to any messages that I received, the actual scenarios, my background etc without lies. Which is why, I should stop before I give out too much information, which is a no no. I don’t have problem lying, but.. I’m not very good at it. I’m trying though not just in SA but life generally, so far it’s been ridiculous. The one meeting that I went, I appeared to be xx, not a real name, but when I met him, I blurted out my actual name with a last name.

    Hi @flyR, I replied to everyone and bid adios. Maybe when I feel better I’d give it a try. For now, I better take leave. I have plan to create a better profile, write specifically what I want in a arrangment, etc. But definitely not now when I’m such a mess.

    Thank you, can’t thank you guys enough.

  125. KatPaw says:

    @Doc thank you very much hun!

  126. Josh says:

    @Elaine

    😉

  127. Elaine says:

    @ Josh

    These kind of helpfull comments are exactly the sort of posts everybody likes to see from you.

    Keep up the good work!
    You seem to have turned into a good puppy now!;-)

  128. Kenya says:

    Again, thank you.

  129. Doc says:

    @KatPaw

    Hope your arrangement goes well and good luck. Glad things are looking up again for you.

    • SD Guru says:

      @AliceS
      “Why reply options is above the all comments?”
      @SunshineSD
      “The scroll widget in Comment box is missing/broken; it’s becoming very hard to write message long than a handful lines.”

      The comment box is now at the bottom. As far as I can tell the comment box works the same as before.

  130. flyR says:

    @Kat “He gave me 100 on the spot and asked if I’d like to go Spain with him. 5 days and 4 nights for 500 bucks. What do you guys reckon? Should I be taking up this offer? Air tickets is roughly 100 to 150, which he mentioned he’d pay. 4 nights. :( Should I even be doing this.”

    Your goal appears primarily financial and this is about travel and such .

    It is legal to fish from a safe place on the bank, waiting for the right one to come along. But the odds are not great and you have to recognize what you want when you see it.

    You would not feel guilty looking at or even trying on a pair of shoes. It’s ok to meet for coffee and then say NO . Former SB budgeted 50 meetings to find her SD. I was #25.

    From what you have said I would look and see what you find but only if you are strong enough to turn down things that are not good for you.

  131. Josh says:

    @Kenya

    “I do work, but I still need help paying for school and other expenses.”

    Although the above is fine, but you may improve it by writing something along the lines of:

    “I am a hard-working young woman. However, due to my young age, lack of experience, and lack of time due to classes, the types of jobs I can secure and perform don’t pay enough to meet my current educational and personal expenses. I need financial assistance as well as mentor-ship to increase my earning potential during college and beyond.”

  132. Kenya says:

    @Josh Thank you so much! You have been such a help to me. I will make the above changes. “Be real and straightforward; I don’t intend on wasting anyone’s time.” By this I might, they should be honest about what they are looking for , so I can tell them if I can give it to them. I should probably reword this.

  133. Josh says:

    @kenya

    You are doing great for the amount of time you are on SA. If you continue to get this level of interest, then don’t change anything yet. As the saying goes, if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it, right? 😉

    However, if you are not getting the quality of SDs you seek then you might want to consider the following recommendations:

    “A classy and intelligent princess you can spoil.”

    Drop both princess and spoil “A classy and intelligent coed” or “A classy and intelligent young woman” may give you better mileage.

    Description: I am a college student who is majoring in nursing.
    I love the outdoors and feeling the sun on my face. I know how to make people laugh, and enjoy laughing at myself. I ran track in high school and go to gym on a regular basis. I love to learn new things. I am an avid reader, and enjoy some green tea and a good book.”

    “What am I looking for…

    “I would prefer a sugar daddy in good athletic shape. A few extra pounds is fine, but not someone who is overweight.”

    Unless SDs are contacting you based on your photographs without reading your profile, the above is going to narrow your the potential SD base quite a bit. How many SDs do you expect to be athletic or athletic+few pounds?

    “Preferably an open relationship, good friendship/partner in crime.”

    At least to me “partner in crime” means that you are ready to go all the way pretty quick. So you might want to drop that.

    “I am looking for a well-mannered, respectful man. Mentor/friendship first. If there is real chemistry, then who knows.”

    Again, unless the SD contacted you without reading what you are looking for, this could be red flag of “string along.”

    “Someone who will wine and dine me, take me on adventures and show me a good time, have fun, going to amazing restaurants, maybe even traveling, wherever life take us.”

    “wine” in the sentence does not make much sense. You claim to be 19 and non-drinker. 😉

    “Be real and straightforward; I don’t intend on wasting anyone’s time.”

    I don’t know what this means really.

    “I do work, but I still need help paying for school and other expenses.”

    This is fine.

  134. Kms2014 says:

    @kat, regarding going to Spain with your potential SD…I would not, if I were in your situation. Of course, this is up to you, but I think you should start out with baby steps, so to speak, if you do decide to pursue a SD/SB relationship. You seem on the fence about it, and really in need of the money, so probably not a good time to go on an extended stay with a potential SD….I would really need to feel safe and comfortable with a SD before going on a trip now, and I have been doing this for awhile, so I would not recommend for someone new to this….Perhaps, it would be better to start out with someone local, who you can just date a little while first, before you decide either way.

    Oh yes, in regards to your loan…I apologize..you did write study loan and not student loan. Is there still a way you might speak to the private institution you borrowed from, and have your loan repayment lowered? I’m not sure of the principle amount, a loan payment amount of $1,500 seems quite high…Many institutions are just happy to know you are working to pay them back, so you could call and ask them if they would prefer no payment, or a lower amount and see what they say? At least, until you get your feet on the ground. Perhaps, your sister will be understanding as well…Sorry, I know you didn’t ask for financial advice but like others have said, dire financial emergencies are not a good combination with starting out as a Sugar baby….it would be sad to look back later and regret something you did in an act of desperation…your self respect and peace and mind is worth so much more than any numerical value. xx

  135. Josh says:

    @Kat,

    As others have noted above, desperation may lead to bad judgment calls. However, don’t feel that you are in a unique situation. Most SBs I have run into, so far, are in desperate need for cash for a variety of reasons. The key is to “never let them see your desperation.” The moment you do that your negotiation power is pretty much gone.

    Understand that SDs are working from a position of strength so reveal only the information you must. Disclose additional information as you feel comfortable with them. Those potential SDs you shared a lot of personal information may now be “dirty.” So work with others.

    If kat is your profile name then change your profile name now. You might want to keep your profile information separate from your blog activity.

    Ask more specific questions as you progress. SBs and SDs here will guide you through.

    Best of success in the sugar world. 😉

  136. Josh says:

    @TsKate

    Sorry for the delayed response. You did good for being on the site for only one week. Shelve him for right now unless he moves to your area. 😉

  137. KatPaw says:

    “We will seal the deal of our arrangement “

  138. KatPaw says:

    Hey sugars keep your hopes up have meet 2 with one pot and if all goes to plan will seal the deal of out arrangement! 😉 purrrrrrr

  139. KatPaw says:

    Did someone seriously mention high school? Wow ok

  140. Kat says:

    @KatPaw, @flyR, @SouthernSB, @Zack, @Kms2014, @SunShine2014, @TsKate, because I feel like I owe everyone a drink, here’s to imaginary champagne? Hehe. :)

    It’s not just loan, something else’s too. I got my loan from a private institution. I’m paying more 1.5 grand p/m just for the loan. I need to give my sister .5 grand p/m. That’s 2k and there are still other bills. I’m a professional xxx, however I quit my job in Dec ’13. I was too stressed, depressed, at the edge of committing suicide. I couldn’t have go on. I left the country so to speak. I’m now at a foreign country and suffice to say that job opportunity doesn’t come by so easily. I initially thought that it wouldn’t be this hard to get a job but it’s been months. I’m running out of money, that’s why I’m in desperate need. It’s not about not wanting to work, or being a lazy bum, but, maybe I just ran out of luck. Not able to secure anything, even babysitting or cafe job. Now you would have understand why I resort to this. Seems like an easy way out.

  141. Kat says:

    Sunshine, thank you. I do agree with every bit of what you’re saying. I’d love to meet successful SD that wouldn’t pressure me into anything but are genuine, nice and are willing to help out with my situation. I’m staying in Europe, but still I’m a newbie over here. The said SD mentioned that he would give me 200 weekly for one session which I gently declined. An escort service over here would have cost something around 200 and above for a one hour session. I did my research. The rest of them on my list, I do not have good feelings towards them, I don’t feel like they are genuine, if that make any sense. I’m new what can I say. I could be wrong or maybe a little too reserved.

  142. SunShineSD says:

    @Kenya

    His preference for not admitting you into his payroll in any substantial way before himself being accepted by you may not be an indication of pressuring you into having sex with him at all. More likely, he may have been scammed before by fake SB’s that took the money and ran. Waiting and qualifying is a two-way process. There is nothing wrong with him being patient just like yourself.

  143. SunShineSD says:

    @Guru

    The scroll widget in Comment box is missing/broken; it’s becoming very hard to write message long than a handful lines.

  144. SunShineSD says:

    @Kat

    It’s just like any other types of dating . . . jitters, eh? A lot of dating success depends on how you approach it. For a healthy sugar experience, you shouldn’t be in it only for the money or see yourself as being in it only for the money. If you are in it for the experience with a more mature/substantial man and building a genuine friendship/relationship that can be beneficial to you in the long run (and an ego boost to him as well), then yes it can be a very rewarding experience. The real SD is not in it for the sex alone per se; sex can be purchased from escorts at much lower cost than maintaining an SB. In a real sugar relationship, intimacy is more of an expression of mutual acceptance, just like in other types of dating.

  145. SunShineSD says:

    @Kat

    I would not recommend going on a long trip so soon either especially since you are entirely new to the Sugar Dating world. Don’t be afraid of meeting up with people locally though. There shouldn’t be expectations of sex on first dates (or even first few dates considering that you are new; that’s also why I only pay for the date expense itself but not her beyond things like missed time at work, travel expense etc., so she is under no pressure to perform). At the beginning you should be in a place where you can bail out if you need to, so traveling abroad to Europe may not be for beginners. Also, this time of the year may be a little chilly in Spain. May thru July, and September through November are the best seasons.

  146. Kat says:

    I replied to all the pending mails, hide my profile, (can’t delete them yet, have to wait for 10 days), I’m feeling like a superstar right now! Oh thank you very much.

  147. Kenya says:

    @sasha @aliceS Could you look at my profile and give me some feedback. You both have more experience than me.

  148. Kenya says:

    @sasha I do not live in New York, but Florida. Thanks I will definitely give it time.

  149. Kenya says:

    @SunShineSD

    Well that POT SD texted me today he found what he was looking for, which was for the best because I was uncomfortable with him being married. Plus, he wanted sex too fast. Thank you for your feedback. I did not look at it that way. One of my POT SD did not want to give me an allowance until we become intimate. We made an arrangement but I am not sure if I am OK with it. He is nice and I did not want to go our separate ways over money.

  150. kat says:

    I read the comments again and again. I think I will delete my profile. And I’m not going to Spain. I’ll just work and save. Thank you guys for the time in writing these replies. I really appreciate it. Thank you.

  151. kat says:

    Thank you thank u you thank you. I can’t thank you guys enough for the replies and advise.
    I’m nor sure if I should be mentioning this. I’m not a virgin per se but I’ve only done it couple times. Not that I do not enjoy it, but erm I was brought up in a christian family, my parents are regular church goers, that makes me.. So hard saying this but I’m not suppose to have sex with strangers. What I did in the past was very foolish, I was young and my parent sure did punished me for it.

    I’m older now, and absolutely legal. I’m not looking to trade sex for money, that’s why I mentioned I’m scared to even go into this. I’m a very shy gal. So multiple SD is not an option. I’m looking for just one SD, I get the cash that I need then that’s it for me. I don’t know what to do, a couple guys asked if I’d like to meet up. I ignore whomever that asked for a meet up. That is very silly of me I know. But I just. Gah. Today I finally have the courage to meet up with this guy. He gave me 100 on the spot and asked if I’d like to go Spain with him. 5 days and 4 nights for 500 bucks. What do you guys reckon? Should I be taking up this offer? Air tickets is roughly 100 to 150, which he mentioned he’d pay. 4 nights. :( Should I even be doing this.

  152. sasha says:

    @kenya us black woman on here stand great chance ,you just have to have the right attitude about the situation and do not discourage yourself my first relationship was with a fine (white) gentleman around the age of 45 from the financial district and we had wonderful relationship that lasted me a whole year of college filled with 5 star hotel outings in fact me and him never mentioned money ….one week he could give me 350 and the next it could be 200 i was haven so much fun and getting so much opportunity out of the relationship i never counted when he gave me it or calculated how much he 2gave me in total ..sure i have messaged and not getting response back and some i have choose not to respond to lol its all about being patient…..

  153. sasha says:

    hey ladies most of my friends from high school really suck and are not interested in the same things i am which makes it kind of boring soo if anyone would like to attend the event with me id love to get to know you <3 im pretty laid back and open minded and love to have fun if not its ok lol ill drag one of them along

  154. SunShineSD says:

    @Kenya

    You are doing extremely “well” for any race if you are getting $100/hr for going on platonic dates with no intimacy involved. Some may suspect the SD’s in those cases are naive chumps. I don’t mind giving several thousands of dollars per month to an SB that I have connection with, but paying for someone just to be there at a nice dinner or doing other fun activities at public places? Why would I want to do that?

    While I don’t mind having platonic dates before the girl is ready to enter into a real arrangement, paying her for those platonic dates (more than compensating her traveling cost getting to the date, or paying for a trip if traveling together is involved ) would be essentially be an act of begging and encouraging her to say “you are not good enough for me.” Intimacy is not just the mechanics of sex per se, but an act of mutual acceptance. It is also called love-making for a reason; the natural endorphins make the two people better disposed towards each other. Paying for someone to say “No” would only bring out the worst aspect of a scamster out of her even if she started off as an honest girl, perhaps even convincing her all the more that you are beneath her . . . Look at it from the other perspective, if girl let’s the guy do her for free and wait for him to decide when he grows up and be supportive, will he ever? Well, we already know the answer to that: the loser boyfriends that take money from and live off the girls.

  155. aliceS says:

    Kenya I am on SA since October. 600 views and one date. I am white. So, now I feel discriminated lol. Just kidding. You are very lucky and pretty 😉 all you need is patience

  156. Zack says:

    Sorry for this, but it outrages me. The officers should be executed for treason against the United States Constitution, as well as for destroying the public confidence they purport to support, imo.

    Sorry. the raw footage (I couldn’t find it online) is profoundly, emotionally distressing. imo.

    www youtube com/watch?v=iWQ5lu8jSMc

  157. Kenya says:

    @Ricard You’re right. I will definitely give it more time. I’m new to this and have a lot to learn. Do you have any advice about my profile? Any areas that I could improve in.

  158. Richard says:

    @Kenya – Only 3 days and already met two potential SDs? Most new SBs would kill for that! There are SBs on this forum who have been looking for months.

    If you want to wait for intimacy, then that’s fine, and many pot SDs would be okay with that. They may pay you a little bit to “cover costs” while you are getting to know each other, just don’t expect them to start paying you a substantial allowance until you’re ready to have sex.

    $100 per hour while “dating” seems quite generous if no sex is involved.

    Also, be honest when comparing yourself to other SBs. Everyone is attracted to something different, but if your two white friends are 10s and fit the mold of the typical “hot coed” then they will be more marketable to SDs. But I guarantee if you look like Rihanna or a young Iman race will have no impact on your success as a SB. :)

  159. Kenya says:

    @zack my profile has been up for 3 days with 33 views.

    @Ricard These were girls that go to my school. I am not saying being intimate is off the plate but I told them both upfront that I have been sexually active with one person. Being intimate is something that will take time. I want to get to know my sugar daddy before I jump into someone’s bed. In addition, the allowance was pre date for $150-200 and another wanted to pay by hour starting at $100 then increase with intimacy.

  160. Richard says:

    @Kendra – You said you did “research” on being a sugar baby, and also state: “Although, I see other girls who receive many offers and sex was not even brought up on the first date. All those girls were white.” I think you are being misled. There is lots of disinformation about being a “sugar baby” on the web. Most men are looking for sex as an important part of a sugar relationship, and it is VERY unusual for a SD to give a SB an allowance before intimacy. Race has nothing to do with it.

    If you’ve found two potential SDs that you liked and that were “real” then you’re doing better than many new SBs of any race. If you’re looking for a SD who will give you an allowance without intimacy, then you’re searching for something extremely rare.

  161. Zack says:

    How long have your had your profile up?

  162. Kenya says:

    I joined Seeking Arrangement after doing some research about being a sugar baby. So I become a member, I am in college and was interested in a sugar daddy. My experience has been less than stellar and I find that no SD in my area are interested in young African American women. I have low profile views and only received messages from three individuals. One was married and kind, but was eventually the short term goal was sex. The second was I met was an older guy who was kind and we met for lunch. But sex was immediately brought up. He pretty much wanted sex I’m exchange for helping me financially. He hinted that he would not give me an allowance until we started having sex. Plus, he wanted to be exclusive but he was not offering me a fair amount for that request. Both males were real people and successful. Although, I see other girls who receive many offers and sex was not even brought up on the first date. All those girls were white. I tried messaging a few guys on the site but it was unsuccessful, they did not write me back. It is discouraging that I’m having a poor experience. I starting to think it is because of my race. Can anyone give me any advice? I’m open to suggestions and feedback. I am very much interested in having a SD. My profile number is 2037165.

  163. KatPaw says:

    Ok interesting!
    Good morning sugars!
    It’s a purrrrrfect day today! Hope everyone is sugarlicious!

  164. aliceS says:

    And by the way, after your updates my avast anti virus says Your Certificate Is Not Trusted. And ask me to leave the site..

  165. aliceS says:

    Fix it*

  166. aliceS says:

    Why reply options is above the all comments? How can I reply if I need to scroll all down like a crazy to see the last comment? And then return up to say something. .. sd guru hope you will fun in it

  167. flyR says:

    New format seems to have more blank space and smaller type

  168. Beach_Girl says:

    Hello Sugars…
    I don’t come here for a few days and the blog is upside down??? I don’t like the new layout SA!!!!

    How is everyone?

    Welcome to the Newbies 😀

  169. flyR says:

    @SweetLove “im new but hoping to learn a lot more about this :) my hardest part is getting the arrangement out in the open. i can be a little shy about the topic but dont want to be taken advantage of either!”

    One of the benefits of SA is that both people should understand why we are here and that facilitates communication if there is real intent. It’s a lot more difficult to approach a woman in a social situation not knowing if she is a potential date, SB or industrial debutante.

    Remember that your potential SD might just be here because he was bashful in his early life. You might need to nudge a little. You also need to do a check to see if someone who contacts you is a potential participant, tire kicker or fleshly “pickpocket” who wants to take advantage of you with mumbled promises .

    The sugar bowl is sizable and there there are many different types of relationships. However the foundational concept is that it is more than sex for money. That’s something many young participants do not seem to have learned.

    Be multidimensional. Look for people who want you to win.

  170. TsKate says:

    @SunShineSD you make some very good points.

    @Kat It is nice to hear advice but you are probably going to do what you want either way. Good luck sweet heart.

    @Kms2014 Obama did work with the Department of Education to create a loan forgiveness program. It is amazing 😛

    @Zack Thank you for answering. I still don’t know what you mean lol :( I would definitely go if I could. The party sounds fun

  171. Zack says:

    “…be nice to have a LA event but why would they be jealous?”

    Perhaps they have more faults than NY? Better than tanks, even.

  172. sweetlove says:

    wow thanks @flyr that was worth the read. im new but hoping to learn a lot more about this :) my hardest part is getting the arrangement out in the open. i can be a little shy about the topic but dont want to be taken advantage of either!

  173. SunShineSD says:

    @Kat,

    Sugar arrangement is what you make of it. Crisis brings new opportunity. Steve Jobs would never have been hired back at the helm of Apple and consequently we would probably not have iPod, iPhone or iPad if not for Apple Corporation nearly going bankrupt two decades ago. Likewise, the small crisis that you are having now may well open up new doors to you. Whatever your life experiences and relationships/friendships that you have had up to this point, obviously they have not brought you the degree of independence and stability that you desire. No need to be afraid of opening up a new chapter. The key is taking care to make sure that the new chapter will be a better one for you, bringing you more/new opportunities that will make you happier in the long run.

    You will probably not be dating the same type of people that you usually date up to this point; if you have been seeing someone who can lend you a helping hand, you wouldn’t be here. That said, it is also important not to compartmentalize (too much) or strive for maximizing short term returns. The sugar experience should not be something that you would rather forget about later in life. I actually don’t see it as a bad thing that you have shared much of your real life info with prospects . . . to me that sounds like your instinct is for an honest friendship/relationship, not trying to run a scam. That’s a good start.

    Sex appeal is a trump card that any decent looking young woman has up her sleeves. . . however it is of limited time duration and has side effects: highly compartmentalized and commercialized “sugaring”, really escorting, can easily out-earn practically any realistic legit job that a 20-something young person can have. The easy money would however do more damage to her than good: it would make her too lazy/tired/occupied to pursue legit careers that can have long term benefits; the earnings from an escort career is usually not enough to cover a life time of expenses due to the short peak earning period and elevated expenses, just like someone winning a lottery less than $2million: more of a disaster than a benefit after the winner quit their jobs and shower their friends with gifts.

    Therefore, it is far more beneficial to play the trump card for longer term gains: helping you build/launch a legit professional career that will earn you more in the long run, and/or building one or several genuine relationships with successful men that you can count on in the long run. To get there, you need to be yourself, perhaps a better version of yourself, and genuinely embrace the relationship. It’s just like dating, perhaps with a better chance of ending on a high note: SD’s are less likely to be jealous than boyfriends in their 20’s, and they are probably more caring and capable of caring about you than typical 20-something male boys in today’s society/economy.

  174. flyR says:

    @Zack – I doubt many of the regulars attend the NY party but I could be mistaken. My sense is that SA is running 0-4 on the party scene. Have not attended so reaction comes from the promotional material, stories from the events and the follow up communications ” A number of people were going to fly ou tfor the LA event but got cold feet at the last minute, mostly as a result of the co sponsorship with Hustler Magazine. Went downhill from there.

    I think the fundamental disconnect is that SA wants to use the events to promote press coverage, something not many here are seeking.

  175. Zack says:

    Heh, “Kilgore Trout” has something out, too 😀

  176. Kms2014 says:

    @Zack, nice qoute by Lazarus Long…This one is one of my favs…

    ‘A pessimist is a man who thinks all women are bad. An optimist is a man who hopes they are.”
    – Chauncey Mitchell Depew

  177. Kms2014 says:

    “I’m a really shy person and would consider myself more or less an introvert. Like I mentioned above I’m only doing this because I need and want to pay off my study loan.”

    @Kat, Are you truly desperate to pay this off right away? Like the others have mentioned, being desperate for money and joining SA is not a good recipe…If they are federal student loans(sorry, might be another type…not sure if subsidized or not), then no huge rush…just make the minimum monthly payment you can for now(and call them to discuss options). Obama also initiated some sort of loan forgiveness program, but not sure how this works, exactly. The program offers borrowers who have financial difficulties a reasonable loan repayment alternative, so I hear…However, I think there are certain requirements that must before you can qualify for the program. If applicable, you could always research into that? Anyway, with that being said, the Gov’t does has bigger problems to deal with at the moment, so the loans are doable, even if you must take longer to pay back.

    If it is just loans you are worried about, and not desperate for rent due in the coming weeks, then that is even more reason to take your time with finding a sugar daddy. Like the good advice mentioned above, ‘this should be fun’. It should be(and with someone who you would probably date, anyway, just with added perks) and also accomplish some goals at the same time…such, as maybe, a business savvy sugar daddy who can help you with loans, and even mentor your own business skills or whatever your goals are (:. Also, screen rigorously as someone else mentioned, when you are new, the fake sugar daddies will know it and try to take advantage of you. Actually, not to promote lying, but if they ask, ‘are you new to being a SB? in some of their initial messages and contact, then I probably would not admit you were, as this will deter the fakes. When I was new, I used to get a lot of messages asking, ‘if I had done this before, or how many SD have I had before?’ and they had not even asked my name yet! As other’s mentioned, there are some fake SD who will prey off the new and naive–do not be one of their victims. Also, I wouldn’t divulge all my personal information yet to a potential SD….just give limited information you feel comfortable with. Besides, a real SD will not want ‘too much’ of your personal information so soon, anyway. Emails are fine, but beware of those who want to email/ ‘text’ constantly and ask you to send naughty ‘pics’. Be smart, selective and only deal with men who are always respectful and gentlemanly to you and your time, and you will be fine. Good luck!

  178. Zack says:

    “Not only that we wouldn’t want you to fly off overseas for a meet and greet (always make the man fly to you for the first visit BTW) and end up sold off as a sex slave.”
    –I’m not sure about this. 😛
    But, yeah, desperation opens up power games and false expectations.

    Never appeal to a man’s “better nature.” He may not have one.
    Invoking his self-interest gives you more leverage.
    — Lazarus Long

    @Katpaw…. “How are you doing yourself?…..”
    purrrrrrfect

  179. KatPaw says:

    @SothernSB hey hun I’m doing good today thanks! It’s beautiful out the sun makes this kitty purrrrrr! How are you doing yourself?

  180. Zack says:

    Unless you have to. 😛

    “Desperate” is more a quality associated with escorts than “SB’s”….assuming there’s a difference. Kat, someone’s going to direct you to a hint or tips section or past blog. You’ve just arrived in an awkward month, 😛 As a new profile, you’ll receive lots of low quality contacts from people just seeing you “Featured.” Talking here can help figure out some choices.

    @Kp…I keep watching that video, but have been waiting for FB to weigh in on the blue guys’ footware.

    @Flyr. Frustrating. I’m not going to meet interesting bloggies unless it’s one at a time like this. SA has apparently restarted parties and apparently changed the coordination responsibility…but apparently hasn’t used blog ladies. (I assume that would have been mentioned somewhere.) A few months ago, there was some interest in putting together something in Florida, but that communication died from neglect when an offblog forum for that centrally routed and ended communication. Any ideas how to get something more than a marketing opportunity?

  181. SouthernSB says:

    @Katpaw,
    Hi how are you today? I agree, you should never stick your paw :) into the sugar bowl when you are desperate for money, which is the reason I haven’t gotten back in. I am totally desperate for money right now, which means I would be making bad decisions if I were to be sugaring. Kat take Katpaw’s advice, wait a while until you at least have things a little bit more in hand, so that you are not so beholden to the first man that says he can “save” you. That way you won’t feel obligated to do things you wouldn’t normally do to people you wouldn’t normally do them to, this is suppose to be fun!!! Not only that we wouldn’t want you to fly off overseas for a meet and greet (always make the man fly to you for the first visit BTW) and end up sold off as a sex slave. Watch “Taken”, it’s a good movie to tell you what not to do when traveling to foreign countries.

  182. flyR says:

    @Kat – KP is right, the greater your desperation the lower the probability of success.

    If your sole objective is to trade sex for $ then you probably do not belong here. What sugar is all about is a relationship were money are sex are involved, but which has a greater scope and foundation. This is a fundamental decision point.

    Of course it’s not a black and white situation. Superbowl tickets, spare seats on a private jet, Academy Award Superbowl , even high level political event tickets have the ability to attract young women. Even the well developed male brain has been know to have been an attractor. But “To be honest the only reason I created the account days ago was because I needed the extra cash”

    In generations prior to the internet there were a surprisingly large number of sorority members who visited the “elderly aunt” every wednesday evening. Several very discrete agencies on LA’s westside handled these relationships with the discretion of a Swiss banker.

    If you are determined to use SA to achieve your goal then you are probably want to carefully polish your profile to focus on what you are looking for. As KP noted signs of desperation attract those who like jackals, seek weakness for the easy kill.

    You’ll need to ask yourself are you looking for one or more SD’s (or perhaps more appropriately patrons) . Using the term SD in the plural will send the message. Also most are looking for a long term relationship. If something shorter is acceptable you can hint at this. Understand that perhaps 20%of the SB’s on the site are using the site as an alternate to the more traditional sites. You’ll want to pick the spot you want to occupy in the market.

    I would not share a lot of specific background information prior to a meeting. Your education, where you were raised (in general terms) what you are studying are good.

    Something you’ll want to hint at are your sexual boundaries. Understand that “I’ll try anything once” can be interpreted across a far wider palette than you might have intended.

    If you are focused on sex and cash then your process is pretty simple

    Is this someone I am wiling to have sex with (including personal safety and trust)
    Are the expectations within my limits
    Is the cash adequate
    Is the expected term acceptable – understand that most sugar relationships are less than 6 months

    Normal process
    Meet in comfortable public place where you can talk.
    Follow Capt Kirk’s advice and deploy all the sensors

    If you are comfortable make a clear statement to that effect – ie I feel really comfortable with our discussion, I think we could have a lot of fun and should pursue this discussion further.

    There are endless discussions regarding sex at the end of the first meeting. It’s a personal call but generally not advisable, especially for the first adventure. It’s your call.

    He should have delivered the cash to you before the zipper unzips. Again it’s a personal call. If you are going to trust him with your body you should be able to trust him with the payment. However, your sisters here have a mountain of stories. The MUST FOLLOW rule for beginners is that there must be a commitment for x at a minimum. The art form is to handle this with class so as to make it something better than a traditional commercial sex transaction.

    If the offer seems too good to be true there’s more importance on having the sugar in your purse before the good stuff. A discrete SD will probably just slip an envelope into your pocket or purse.

    Before you start down this path, if you think you will feel angry, used , stupid, victimized, soiled etc STOP lower your spending , get a job.

    Closing I would encourage you to raise your sights and ask yourself what a partner could bring to you in addition to cash…… and then look for that as part of the search.

    Don’t expect instant gratification. It can take a long time.

    50 first emails
    8 real prospects
    3 meetings
    1 success

  183. KatPaw says:

    @kat well sweetheart going into sugar because your desperate for cash is just a recipe for disaster! This will cause you to do things you would later regret and eat away at you! Be careful because many will be able to tell this desperation and take advantage of you! You need to protect yourself! Don’t do anything (anyone) you wouldn’t do if you weren’t desperate for $.

  184. kat says:

    Hi guys. I’d really appreciate it if someone could help me out here. I’m really lost. I’m new to SA and the whole SD/SB arrangement. To be honest the only reason I created the account days ago was because I needed the extra cash. I received maybe 10 messages on my first day and I replied to maybe half of them if not less. I’m talking around 3 to 4 at the moment and most of them wants to meet up the coming up weeks. I’m not sure what are the dos and donts and maybe I’ve already done some silly mistakes ie I practically tell them every single of thing about myself, where I grew up where I used to work? Things like that and I also did sent them a couple of my photos.

    I’m a really shy person and would consider myself more or less an introvert. Like I mentioned above I’m only doing this because I need and want to pay off my study loan.

    I’m really stress out. Advise? How do I look for the one arrangement that’d work for me? This is a scary thing for me, I’d say. Should I be exchanging emails, it could be time consuming, ah I need a coach or a mentor? Please help me.

  185. flyR says:

    I think most are waiting to see how they do with this party. Prior have been promotion heavuy

  186. Zack says:

    So is anybody going to go to this, or does it just draw from locals?

  187. TsKate says:

    @Zack It would be nice to have a LA event but why would they be jealous?

  188. flyR says:

    Jealous? Yawnnnnnnnnnnnn

  189. Zack says:

    Maybe LA is jealous about the NY meet? Any significance to the “New Event Team?”

  190. TsKate says:

    @Blondie thank you for looking at my profile. I will take your advice.

    @Richard thanks for your opinion sweetheart.

  191. Richard says:

    @TSKate – I suspect either he really can’t afford the “sugar” lifestyle or he’s somewhat conflicted about the whole idea…either the idea of an arrangement or the idea of being with a TS woman.

    I’ve certainly been attracted to pre-op TS women before, but have never been with one sexually because I’m just not interested in their parts down below (if that makes sense).

    You are being discrete, but if you pleased him sexually but if it wasn’t reciprocated then why would you want to continue?

    If he was REALLY into you, in all ways, he’d figure out a way to make the finances work. It sounds like you’ve given him many alternatives, so I suspect he is very attracted to you sexually but for whatever reason that’s not enough. I’m sure he’ll continue to chat with you and will certainly welcome any sexual banter, sexting, teasing, photos, etc, but clearly isn’t willing to compensate you for that.

    My advice is to move on. It will be a time sink otherwise.

  192. Blondie says:

    @TsKate : If you need a regular allowance, I would say find another SD, one who can easily afford what you are asking. In your profile don’t put ‘neg’ put a specific amount, like, practical, moderate, etc… Sure if he is in town once in a blue moon, it wouldn’t hurt to see him but I would try and get a steady SD who is a little bit more drama free instead. This is meant to be an arrangement, so it should be straightforward ! It’s not always the case though!

  193. Kms2014 says:

    Oops…new blog. Spoke too soon, haha

  194. TsKate says:

    Now all I need is @Josh to comment :)

  195. TsKate says:

    @Zack Thank you for your advice. I like it a lot.

    @Sugary I agree with your number 2. I asked myself the same question. In regard to your #4 (its a typo that says 3 but I know you mean 4 sweetheart ;). I am unsure if I was his first TS girl. My last boyfriend told me I was his first TS girl then I saw in his passport he had previously been to Thailand. So you never really know. I don’t concern myself with those questions anymore because they don’t matter. I am not going to go into the intimate details of our time together. While we did not have actual intercourse sex he did do things that I have waited months for other straight guys to do. He definitely enjoyed himself. He meant he could not please me. But he got off for sure lol.

    After finding out so much about his personal life I think it has more to do with the money.

    I agree with your last paragraph. I did get a lot of nice gifts, he gave me money, cards and an amazing trip to a beautiful place. So I can’t complain. Now It only sucks having no one to dress up like a little school girl for!!!

  196. SugarySpicey says:

    TranSexual

  197. Kindred Spirit says:

    What is a “TS”??

  198. SugarySpicey says:

    Hi Kate –

    A few things stand out to me…

    1. This gentleman got into a sugar game he couldn’t afford and implied promises he couldn’t really deliver on. I’m glad he gave you the flight and gift cards before confessing that he was out of his league financially speaking. A good rule of thumb is that an SD needs to make 10-20 times per month what you are hoping to receive. If your goal is $1,000 per month look for an SD who claims an income of $100-$200 K per year (minimum) if you want an arrangement that lasts longer than a weekend. That salary doesn’t guarantee he’ll be generous enough to meet your needs, but an SD who claims he has $50K in assets and a $75K salary definitely can’t. The fact that this SD can’t afford the sugar relationship you’re looking for is unfortunate, but not something you can change.

    2. Hopefully you like this guy, at least enough to make the sex part sexy, which leaves you to ask yourself: If he can’t afford a sugar arrangement with you, are you willing to just date him, with no predefined benefit for you? If not, move on.

    3. The sugar world is full of starts and stops. I got completely scammed and lied to by my first “wannabe” fake SD. I learned from it, and I approached future arrangements more carefully. Some may call me a prostitute for saying this, but you’ve got to protect you. Get what you want out of a sugar arrangement before you give something you can’t get back. A guy losing a little money to an SB who didn’t really want to sleep with him is disappointed (and foolish for reaching out of his league in the first place, you can tell who is and isn’t attracted to you). A girl getting tricked into having sex with a guy who is lying to her with the intent of stealing sex ends up disgusted with herself and the universe. She’s in a much worse place. Always protect your interests, and your body – the reason most guys are on SA is that they are reaching for something they couldn’t have in the real world, always keep that in mind and be weary.

    3. This may sound harsh to hear, but he may be a TS tire kicker. Maybe he had a fantasy about trying a TS but couldn’t really “perform” when it came down to the reality. Has he ever been with a TS? Could his cold feet be from him scurrying back into the sexual closet after dipping his toe into a pool that he found titilating but ultimately not his cup of tea?

    In this instance I don’t think you can save things – too many strikes. But you can learn, and take things slower next time to make sure a POT can afford you – physically, sexually, and financially.

  199. Zack says:

    It’s not over yet, and there’s something to work with. If nothing else, explore how you can meet when he is local just to learn the mechanics of that…I think most pot-SD’s would be less honest. (He’s probably over-budget, but interested.)

    Work on your negotiation style 😛 Long distance meet after one week? Sweet.

  200. TsKate says:

    Ok so I met with a POT SD last week. We spent 4 days together. He flew me to his home state. He gave me $800 for the trip and $500 in gift cards (the cards you use like credit/debit cards in stores). It was a nice trip and he was a pretty great guy. This week when I am back home in California we are texting and he keeps saying thing like “I am so sorry I can not satisfy you sexually, I am a failure.” Referring to himself as a failure because he could not do intercourse. First I was surprised because I had a great time. Then I quickly realized it seems like he was trying to end subtlety end the arrangement but blaming it on himself to let me down easy. So I asked him if he wanted to continue. I did not want to waste my time because I was still sending him “special” pictures and giving him attention like I did before we met. When I asked him if he wanted to continue he said he did not think he could afford to continue. He said that the plane ticket and the money he gave me was too much for him and he couldnt keep doing that. He then said we may continue if his job brings him to my area (again stringing me along). I asked him what we could do to make things more affordable. Also if he wanted the type of arrangement where he helped me with school tuition or a bill instead of giving money when we meet. I was trying to see if we could work it out. I liked him and I thought if we could cater an arrangement to meet both of our needs we could work it out since he was supposedly unhappy with the first arrangement. He said he would rather give me money when we meet but it would have to wait until he was in my area. I told him it was fine if he contact me when he wanted to meet or talk and I left it at that. I do not want to invest energy into someone who is not invested in me.

    Did I handle things right or what do you guys think? This was my first POT SD ever and I was only on this site a week before he put me on a plane. My friends say I did good because things dont usually work so fast on this site but I cant help but blame myself for it not working out. I dont understand. Please give advice?

    Also I added new pics to my profile and I am not sure if they are ok. If anyone has time please check out my profile and comment about the pics. SA# 1984179

  201. Josh says:

    Aha virgin blog. 😉

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