It’s happened to the best of us. You’ve been off the market, deactivated or deleted your account. But alas, you find yourself joining the online dating world once again. Sure, you could pick an entirely different site, but what if one site really worked for you? It shouldn’t mean you have to avoid it altogether just because an ex-lover also happens to have an account there as well. Let’s discuss running into an ex inside and outside of the virtual world.
It didn’t take long, they found you, and want to know “How you’ve been.” C’mon, we all know that’s not the only thing striking their curiosity. They want to know what happened, why you are single, and if you want to have casual sex without adding another notch to your bedpost.
The beauty of the online message is that it can be ignored. If you really don’t want to address it, there’s no pressure. Avoid the drama by leaving it alone, and deleting it before even giving it a second thought.
You haven’t heard from them in ages. In fact, you’re not even sure if they are still alive, so when this little gem comes in, you have to ask, “Who is this?”
This is not as simple as the inbox situation where the message can simply be ignored. He has your phone number, and didn’t delete it for a reason.
Responding is okay, but if you are not interested, make it clear from the get-go. Do not bring up the fact that you are back in the dating scene, and do not call your ex out for seeing your dating profile. Keep it simple, and not overly friendly.
Your ex was obviously excited to see your profile, and figured a text was too impersonal. Do you answer the call?
While ignoring it is an option, you might want to nip this one in the butt and answer the call. Similar to the text, set the record straight because you either want to see him or you don’t, there is no need to lead him on.
One word can be used to describe this encounter –awkward. The casual coffee run just turned into operation Get-Me-Out-of-Here, with the overly comfortable ex. Their face sports a huge smile, and the reason is obvious.
Don’t make the first move. If they want to say something, let them say it. If you are on a date, chances are they wouldn’t dare, but if you are with a friend, or unfortunately alone, they may just say something. Keep it cool, and if they want to “hang out” next week, but honest because it is now or never. Make sure it is clear that “next time” means not in a million years buddy.
It’s not uncommon to keep your ex close if it was a mutual break up or you have a wide network of friends in common. Exes can help you in a time of need, assist you in finding a job, or even land you discounts in higher places.
Of course, not everyone is avoiding their ex like the plague, in fact, many people are on good terms with them. Yes, online profiles can help us reconnect with users we stopped talking to years ago. But usually, if there is a will, there is a way and you would have already been in contact.
Did an ex find your online profile, only to become overly persistent? Share your struggles and advice.
Login using your SeekingArrangement account to post a comment.
Use a guest account to post your comment anonymously.