4 years ago
Be Like Beckham –The Ideal Sugar Daddy

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38-year-old ex-soccer player turned model may just be the perfect Sugar Daddy to numerous Sugar Babies on our website. After all, the average age of a Sugar Daddy is 39. Clearly, he falls within our age bracket. But what is it about this man that makes females go crazy?

david beckham rocks te suit

Confidence

This man exemplifies confidence in everything he does. Whether it comes down to scoring, sexily smiling in a commercial, or even parading around in tight boxer briefs, this man has it covered in more areas than most men.

While some men find it difficult to rock a suit, it’s easy for Beckham to wear his birthday suit. Ladies join SeekingArrangement.com because they want a confident gentleman who is not afraid to take dating to the next level. It’s time to show her you mean business, and are not afraid to try new things. Wearing those white boxer briefs may be pushing it, but we’re sure you’ll think of something.

The Package

His abs, arms and muscles in general are hard to ignore since he happily shows them off on a regular basis. Those bold, black tattoos don’t hurt either. His ample ink shows this man can endure pain, and maybe even likes it. Sorry if our mind drifts there, but tattoos can certainly up the ante when it comes to sex appeal.

The Accent

The right kind of accent truly gets woman interested. If the initial meeting is in person, it’s certainly a conversation starter to say the least. We are not simply referring to the European variety either. Men from South African, American Southerners, and males from many other countries still have it going on.

David Beckham is from Leytonstone, East London, England. English accents continue to make lists for countries with the sexiest accents, and Beckham definitely helps the cause.

Popular with the Ladies

Posh Spice, also known as Victoria Beckham, has been making waves with husband David Beckham since 1999. It’s almost hard to believe this couple is about to experience their 15th anniversary.

David Beckham clearly knows how to keep a relationship strong, even while living lifestyles of the rich and the famous. Recently, he tattooed his wife’s name on his hand, and they can always be seen together at a star-studded event. Way to stay in the dating game Beckham!

david beckham keeps his wife happy

Adver-tease-ments

For a long time now, Beckham has been dominating the underwear scene. Macy’s sports life-size cardboard cutouts of the athlete, while H&M encourages him to do almost nude commercials. Sex sells, and apparently it will be widely encouraged during this weekend’s Superbowl performance.

Would television spots and media appearances get your Sugar Baby going? Media personalities have prominent, symmetrical features, which woman determine to be more attractive. So, it may not be the camera that turns them on, but confidence paired with an appealing face.

Even though SeekingArrangement is not fueled by marriages and long-term relationships, every woman wants to be valued. Lessons can be learned from David Beckham when it comes to recognizing a female’s worth, and how to make her feel special.

Of course, David Beckham is not currently enrolled as a Sugar Daddy on our site, although he could be one day. Fellas, if you are looking for a few tips, Beckham is a man to mimic. Ladies, does Mr. David Beckham make you swoon? If so, how could your Sugar Daddy learn from this athlete?

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249 Responses to “Be Like Beckham –The Ideal Sugar Daddy”

  1. Bella says:

    Sweet Jesus he is perfect but that is NOT reality…not in the least.

  2. AlphaBabe says:

    Hello everyone, I need some advice. I am new to Seekingarrangement.com and never have sugared before. So I am still a baby at this. I posted my profile back in November and have gotten inboxed by 5 potentials but no meetings as of yet. So I have three questions:

    1. Is this normal for a sugar baby’s first time in the online sugaring arena?

    2. Is there any improvements I need to make to my profile to increase my chances of getting a good hit?

    3. What are some other things I can do to increase my chances?

    Any advice would be much appreciated.

  3. Jj says:

    @White Marble: Welcome to the blog, but the conversation has continued to the new blog post. Please come and join in!

  4. Bella says:

    Looks like some words were omitted ….sorry about that

  5. White Marble says:

    What a fantastic blog this is. I am especially grateful for the advice of SB’s and SD’s expressed here – thank you for them! I enjoy reading this blog, however this is my first post.

    Perhaps I should ask for advice about my own profile as well… Or not just for advice about my profile, but advice in general. Because I have been on this site for quite sometime now, I have not had an arrangement but I have been on many first dates with potential SD’s (for drinks, lunch, dinner, opera…) and on a few second dates as well.
    However I only met one gentleman who I really wanted to have an arrangement with. Actually, I liked him so much that I wanted to spend time with him even without an arrangement. We never spoke about allowances, etc and I did not want to bring up the subject with him. Though he said that he had never done anything like this before (and neither had I) so we spent the time talking and getting to know each other. We met for the second time the next day, but I felt things had somehow “changed” and he was no longer, well, how to explain it? After our date I received a message where my intuition was confirmed. Since I felt I had nothing to loose I told him honestly, that I was disappointed because I liked him so much. I also asked if there was something I said or did to make him write to me in such a way (i.e change his mind), but according to him it was the age. Though he knew my age when we met. He explained that “Etc etc… You are too young for me, that is all.” Which felt like a slap in the face. Or he chose not to disclose the real reason. Anyway.

    And another thing, I also never brought up the conversation about allowances with any of the other potential SD’s – in emails/messages or even when meeting one face to face. Is this wrong of me?
    Though I never met anyone who I felt attraction/chemistry with, except for that one.

    Thank you for reading my huge post! :-)

  6. Josh says:

    Yet another fluff piece to disorient SBs.

    SA does a great job of attracting SBs to a fantacy world.

    Hey I am not complaining, just saying…LOL!

  7. NC Gent says:

    @Sweetie — I agree with Richard. Personally, if you would have sent me that response after I sent you a message, you would have heard “crickets” from me also. If a woman isn’t interested in investing the time it takes to send a few emails (say 3 or 4) before bringing up the money issue, I move on. I might have missed out on a few opportunities, but it is a risk that I am willing to take. I know everyone has different styles, so If your approach is working well for you, stick with it.

  8. onyx_percula says:

    After reading Mellisa’s and sweetie’s posts and talking with my pot SB from FL I have been talking to since last summer I’m prompted to…

    Tip for SDs:

    Assume the girl you are about to message gets many messages each day/week. That if they get “featured” their message volume can spike thru the roof. They want to find an arrangement or they wouldn’t be here and wouldn’t be reading/sending messages.

    Keep it short and be direct and to the point. If she says something in her profile to state what you want, well you damn well better do that or you’re just going become noise to be ignored.

    If you message her and she wants to continue communicating get to it man! Don’t mess around, she just picked you out of god knows how many guys that messaged her today. Don’t waste her time.

    I think every SD knows how long it takes to message with a pot SB before you get to the point that you both want to meet. So think about how much it takes for a popular pot SB that gets 10+ messages she would be to pursue.

    Here is a quote from my girl in FL… “If I see one more message saying ‘Let’s talk and see where it goes.’ I’m going to scream! What is wrong with these guys why can’t they just tell me what they want so I can decide if I want to pursue this any further!?!?”.

  9. Mellisa says:

    @ Sweetie- I always say there’s someone out there for everyone. It’s great that you know what you want in an arrangement and have the patients. This whole process sometimes gets too confusing for me ( bear in my mind that I rarely get confused:-) so more power to anyone who can swim through without getting lost somewhere in the middle.

    @ SD Rob- For a moment I was beginning to think I was the only one who didn’t get Eloquence:-)

    @Zaki, thanks for the warm welcome, I’m fairly new in posting but I’ve been following the blog for quite a while now.

    @All- I don’t know about you guys but I miss SS:( I enjoyed reading her posts. I’m the kind of a person who craves a difference of opinion ( when it’s stated in a healthy way).

    @ SS- if you come back I’ll make a deal with you….I’ll let you be my grammar police for 6 months:-)

    I hope everyone is keeping warm,except flyer and JJ-;) you’re warm enough wherever you are.

  10. sweetie says:

    Richard, it doesn’t matter. I’m not about the money, but I won’t build up any email fairytale without making things clear from the beginning. I don’t have ADD, so my reading comprehension is quite ok. My profile says plenty things, but only I know exactly what I want in the gentleman I search for.

  11. onyx_percula says:

    @ DarkHorseSD — Fees, monthly fee of like $5 maybe $15 and $5 to buy the reload.

  12. DarkHorseSD says:

    What’s the Vig on these cards?

  13. Richard says:

    @sweetie – I wouldn’t assume that, there are several other possible reasons: (1) he found someone closer or more appealing to him in the meantime (how long did it take for you to respond?); (2) he was turned off by your first message being about money rather than gradually leading up to that; (3) he felt his profile answered those questions well and was annoyed you hadn’t bothered to read it (I get that a question similar to yours often…and I usually just say “did you read my profile? after reading it, let me know if you have any questions.”)

    Or, as you say, he’s a wannabe. :)

  14. onyx_percula says:

    @ SD-Rob — Nah, its easy. The greendot cards have no max, the refills top out at $1k and you can buy as many as you want and she can add them to her card all at once. WalMart, CVS and a few other national chains have them. I lucked out my credit union has a branch in a WalMart right next to customer service where I get the refills.

  15. sweetie says:

    I received a message from an interested SD. He was good looking, decent writing skills, his profile seemed ok, no red flags. I responded asking him about his ideal arrangement and opinion on allowance and guess what? Radio silence after that. Hmmm… Another SD wannabe who doesn’t know what SA is for.

  16. Eloquence says:

    @ Rob

    Your current SB will be your 2nd wives club and you will retire a very happy man. I have no doubt you will.

  17. sweetie says:

    Then former Jersey it is! So where did you end up? Boston? How’s school?

    Rob, I didn’t mean that directed at you. I have read your previous post and I understand the reason, plus the kids. It’s complicated. I just mean it in general, when people start looking around for something new and exciting, but don’t bother much to spice things up at home, nor end them. You know the saying: You’re welcome to come and go, just don’t stay in the door.

  18. Eloquence says:

    @ Rob

    Perhaps our current SB will be your 2nd wives club and you will retire a very happy man. I have no doubt you will.

  19. SD-Rob says:

    @ Eloq- I never seem to get what you are trying to say. You are too eloquent for me :)

  20. SD-Rob says:

    @ Sweetie- my wife has no desire to have sex, None whatsoever, and recent health issues has made it even worse. Also, she would rather spend time with her family than even our kids. Your second question is a key one, why not get divorced? The kids have been the reason honestly. I am dedicated to them and have put up with all this for them. Once they leave it leaves nothing to keep me there. If they were a few years older I would not be on SA, be on the dating scene most likely. However, another issue is a financial one. A divorce can wreck havoc there and again eventually the kids suffer most. I know, I experienced first hand myself. Just have to wait and see what develops. I went the SA route since honestly I was not even sure if I could perform any more, not having done it for years on a regular basis. I wondered if I would need Viagra lol or something like that. I am glad that I have found that I need none of that and my SBs have been in seventh heaven. I feel younger and have lost 20 pounds just in the last month being with my new SB (motivation) and tire her out, although she is almost 20 years my junior. If my wife was even 20% more sexual than she is (which is just about zero) I would have never gone this route.

    @ Elaine- I am not saying that the woman is the problem in every case. I am sure your case is as you say. I know many men who do not appreciate their wives when they should and turn them on to sex, let them explore their sexuality and get in the mood so to speak. I have tried everything in my case to no avail. My wife comes from a culture that sexuality is repressed, looked down upon and hence kept dormant. I thought I could wake it up, but except for when we were trying for our first, there has been no fire at all.

    @ Onyx- yes considered depositing in her account, but she is afraid of tax audits (interesting that all SB $ is really tax free) and also being married I could not have joint accounts to transfer $ in and out. The charge card seems like the best but can be hassle adding $ to it, at the $$$$ that I am treating my SB to.

    @ Gentle- I give her an allowance and lots of gifts too. We discussed this and she really wants the $ so she can do the stuff she wants (she is not in a desperate situation which is what I like).

    @ Jersey – Jersey I wish my wife was like you. She just does not say anything and has no solution. I discussed this with her before I launched on SA,. Her grad father had a mistress that she knows about and it is somewhat of a taboo for her and her family. By the way, of course, it would be a two way street. Except I know she has no desire on her side as I mentioned before.
    @ Darkhorse- we have very little in common now except dealing with issues with the kids, house and so on. No common interests really. That is why I am having a great time on SA, especially with my current SB , where I am finally steady going on about a month (as I mentioned too much sugar leading to too much jumping around while spoiling a lot that I never wanted to do). It has not been cheap but it has been worth it.

  21. Jersey Darling says:

    Hi sweetie! Yes, I’ve made the big move, so I suppose I’m no longer “Jersey” Darling :) I’m still getting settled in buying furniture, painting, etc. Very different lifestyle than what I was used to but such is the life of a grad student in a city!

  22. Euphoria retired sb says:

    After 2 marriages, I’ve decided that I wont get married again unless I know that ill still want to bang my husband until he’s at least 86.

  23. sweetie says:

    Hi, Jersey! How are you? Did you make the big move?

    Rob, thanks for sharing. Long term relationships/marriage and sex libido… Everybody has been through that at some point. It’s a tough one. Not to put the blame on any of the partners ’cause one never knows what goes on in the couple life, but every time I see a married man on SA looking for someone special to spend quality time with makes me think: why don’t you spend that time with your wife, why aren’t you fucking your wife’s brains out? Or get a divorce. Same goes for women, of course.

  24. Euphoria retired sb says:

    or you can loan her roommate the money, and make her roommate sign an agreement to pay you back that way the pressure isn’t on the sb

  25. Jersey Darling says:

    My biggest fear of living with roommates is having one of them not paying the rent – especially if your portion of the rent is the most you can afford and you can’t afford to cover someone else. That has nasty credit implications down the road.

    I can empathize. I still wouldn’t expect someone to take care of me, but if you’re seriously invested/interested in her and can afford it, it could make a big difference for her if it’s true. If you don’t know her well enough to judge her character yet, then presumably you haven’t slept with her (right?) and you don’t owe her anything. But if you can judge her character and can help her out… do it.

    You could also *loan* her the money.

  26. Euphoria retired sb says:

    @ gtt_envy :I would probably reply to something like that with a, looks like you need a new roommate. Or a no, I will not pay your roommates rent, but I will help you find your own apartment that’s alittle cheaper in the area somewhere,

  27. DarkHorseSD says:

    Gtt you don’t need more knowledge and you don’t need to pollute the well for you and everyone else.

  28. flyr says:

    “The wonderful young woman I hung out with recently and seemed to be perfect on so many levels just pulled the “OMG, my roommate can’t pay rent and I’m going to be evicted! Can you help?””

    Sometimes it pays to make the investment – you get repaid in some form or you get repaid with more knowledge about your sb. From a monetary viewpoint it’s generally a bad bet but is the lottery most of the time (I don’t play except in very unusual circumstances)

  29. gtt_envy says:

    @Onxy, my good luck seems to have run out what a great 60 day run though. The wonderful young woman I hung out with recently and seemed to be perfect on so many levels just pulled the “OMG, my roommate can’t pay rent and I’m going to be evicted! Can you help?” blech!!

  30. Euphoria retired sb says:

    @ Jersey Darling: I guess the way I viewed it was that $1200 per month extra cash. About $1600 per month in new clothes. Having my hair and nails done at a professional salon every two weeks. Four two day trips per month and having my sd go with me and pay for other things I needed like taking my car to the shop was very substantial. If your working a 40 hour per week job then you don’t need too much else. But like you said….To each his own.

  31. Eloquence says:

    @ Rob

    If a silence was to befall between us, there would be no words needed to interpret….just a thought for you to hold.

  32. Elaine says:

    @ Jersey

    …First hand experience ….. 😉

  33. Jersey Darling says:

    @Elaine, really good point about underlying marital problems reducing sex drive.

  34. Elaine says:

    Agree with Jersey, at that point I wouldn’t have bothered if he would have had a sexual relationship with other women, as long as it would have been a two way street…

  35. Elaine says:

    @ Rob, don’t take this personal, because it is not at all mend to, but my ex-husband would tell the same about me ( his 40+ ex wife) if you would ask him.

    My lovers would tell you a completely different story though, because they know my sexdrive is very high. 😉

    During my marriage I didn’t realize, and blamed myself for lack of lust, but now -looking back- I see deeper laying problems in our marriage caused this lack of interest in sex , even if I was younger then and he was a good lover.

    So no one was to blame really, our marriage just had passed the ultimate expiration date..
    It had NOTHING to do with age!

    My sexlife now is much more exciting as it was in my twenties or thirties, when my skin and body were thighter, but when I had less selfconfidence and experience, and more complexes and taboos!

  36. gentle(man)soul says:

    @SA _Rob

    ” But the $ part bothers her ”

    Well Rob ,give her gifts and take advantage of her reluctance to be paid to Play . You can spoil her more and save yourself some money . She sounds more like a GF

  37. DarkHorseSD says:

    Rob, I understand what you are saying about the wife and sex…it is a tough thing to live through.

    But, do you have other things with the wife? Maybe you want to stay with her forever anyway and use this as a way to get what you need sexually? Think about it.

    Are you talking to her about seeing other women sexually as a solution? Maybe you want to come to some mutual agreement?

  38. Jersey Darling says:

    @SD-Rob I may be more open-minded than most, but if I had a husband whose needs I couldn’t meet, as long as we had a discussion about it I’d be OK with him having relations with another woman/women to meet those needs (depending on our conversation), as long as that was a two way street. Perhaps you should discuss it openly?

    Hard to say, but sorry to hear that’s your situation.

  39. Jersey Darling says:

    @onyx_percula – interesting story about the pot live-in SB! I’ve been wondering how that turned out! I also think that even if you turned out how you ideally envisioned it, it probably wouldn’t be ideal – it’s too hard for a woman to be sexy and carefree when she’s taking care of someone who needs advanced assistance.

    @Euphoria – After he spent over $4000 in a weekend showing me Santa Monica, I wasn’t going to attempt to argue my $300 allowance with him. The only words out of my mouth were, let me know when we can hang out again. I had such a good time!

    Some SBs are content with travel, experiences and gifts, others prefer cash. I find it often depends on their life goals. It’s also the reason why it can be so hard to discuss an allowance with someone if you don’t know what your connection with them will be yet – many SDs offer experience, guidance, etc that is invaluable.

  40. onyx_percula says:

    @ SD-Rob — There are all kinds of ways to handle allowance that are less bothersome. One SB opened accounts at my credit union and linked her savings account to my account so it was super easy to just go online and transfer her money whenever, we haven’t been together in months but her accounts are still linked, lol. Another I got a prepaid debit card and just give her reload codes to apply to it. You can open an account just for her use with both of you on it and just deposit/transfer to it. Most banks couldn’t care less who deposits into someones account, etc, etc, etc. Once an arrangement has been made there is no need to hand her anything if you two are uncomfortable with it.

  41. Jersey Darling says:

    Hello all! Just checking in, I hope you all are doing well. Have a bit of time today and will skim through the blog. In typical Jersey fashion I will probably have some comments to add 😛

  42. SD-Rob says:

    @Sweetie- interesting that you only had 3 meetings in 10 months. Must that you are picky as you say and possibly that you little time with everything else going on in your life. And that you do not need the sugar necessarily, but looking at this as a life style enhancer. These parallel very much what my current SBs situation was when we met. By the way, I would not mind to consider my SB as a girlfriend, but as you say, since we met on SA I do expect to help her financially and have been very much. But the $ part bothers her as she has told me when I give her her allowance every time we meet, she says it is weird and the things have been going between us, it indeed is weird, but maybe as we go to monthly allowance over the next couple of months it may not feel weird anymore. She has told me she likes me even without an arrangement but I will not test her on that as I like spoiling her myself.
    On my wife. The problem was from the start in the intimacy area. She was not experienced at all and did not seem to have any kind of a sex drive. I was the opposite and the gap has grown over the years, although I thought I could change things. And I have tried and tried hard for over 15 years, but to no avail. As she got older, our sexual activity frequency went down from once a month, to once a year with maybe a BJ once a quarter! And it became worse and worse, and with kids and her family taking up more and more of her time she has become virtually asexual. I have helped with the kids tremendously by the way to relieve her of that and give her time for herself, but again she has found something else to engage herself with. I have brought this up with her a number of times and asked her what she suggests I do since I was tired of playing with myself. She has no solution of course. This is what brought me to SA as my solution to keep my marriage together at least until the kids are old enough, and I have found that the younger women on the site enjoy themselves with me very much and makes me think that if my wife were younger there may have been a possibility of turning things around. Of course, it just may be that it was her make up sexually that doomed us, but I have heard this same story from others who started with a vibrant sex life only to have the man keep thriving while the woman not, of course, maybe due partly to how the woman was treated , but believe me, I have given my very best.

  43. Doc says:

    @KatPaw last time I checked I wasn’t green or on craigslist. Hmmmm jk. Glad you doing well. Sounds like you have a great MIL.

  44. sweetie says:

    Kat, hehehe! It’s nice you’re in good spirits! I know what you mean, I’m still shopping for this and that…

    Rob, I had 3 meetings. One wanted a girlfriend and was appalled at the idea of financial assistance (he was on SA though, why? Beats me!), one was a creep, the last one couldn’t wait to hop in the sack. Felt he was being pushy.
    I think couples (close in age or not) do change as times go by. Next thing you know, you want something different in a partner. I think it’s to be expected. Nobody stays the same.

    Or, as they say, men are finally growing up in their 40s. Hehehe! What do you think about that?
    Why is your wife struggling? Please share, I’d like to know.

  45. KatPaw says:

    Lol craigslist has already come in handy lol found me my green Doc on there! Lol

  46. KatPaw says:

    Sweetie- I have lil ones being able to nuke left overes needed! Lol but just found out my MIL purchased one for us for in store pick up. Lol
    Have a sofa on layaway just need funds to pay off.. Lol have a folding table and empty bins for eatting for now lol. Things will all pull together. Can’t complain have a working stove and fridge full and roof over head and heat and running water.. Lol we will survive. Lol just missing having stuff.. It’s odd.. Ok the worst is having no washer drier!

  47. SD-Rob says:

    @ Horse, Sweetie- I am a believer in that formula now but when you hit your mid to late forties I think it works better! I knew about the formula when I married at 33, and married a woman my age, instead of some one at 23 or so as the formula said. Now, I am thriving in my late forties, while my wife is not. My SB at 30 is just about the right age and we click so well (she still has trouble keeping up with me though).
    Of course, if depends, some women are great in their late forties, but I really think the formula is sound to a large extent.

  48. SD-Rob says:

    @ Sweetie- good for you that you are picky. Shows self worth. But it you have not found any sugar, do you think this is really for you then? Maybe the small town is the issue. Have you at least met a lot of POTs? Traveled to them for meetings? Very interesting.

  49. sweetie says:

    Oh, Kat! Just get on craigslist. There’s lots of good stuff out there. Still, moving to a new place is always exciting, at least for me. Oh, you don’t need a microwave, c’mon! 😉

  50. KatPaw says:

    Hello sugars! Starting to settle in purrrrrr…

    Have lots I need for new place including sofa, dining set, washer, dryer, bed and microwave.. Lol sooo feelin a little empty and lost.. Lol

  51. sweetie says:

    Horsey, I hope you’re joking about the formula. You can’t let a good thing go to waste over some number.

    Rob and Gentle – I’m picky, I’m in a small town full of students, I won’t just say yes to someone I’m not interested in just because of money. Attraction is essential. Gentle, thanks for the suggestion, but I’ll stick with my guy. :) You can keep thinking I’m a dude, I won’t fight you on that.

    Sugary, good to hear from you dear! Interesting view, of course. Maybe there’s something to it… some stuff makes sense, like the stunted maturity. Well, food for thought.

    Eloquence, we’re on the same page, I see.

  52. DarkHorseSD says:

    Using the half your age plus 7 formula, the arrangement I just ended the SB had gotten 2 yrs too old for me. The one I may be bringing in is 2yrs too young. So will that give us 4 or 8 good years together?

    Did I get the formula right?

  53. flyr says:

    “Backing up what I’ve always said about the sugar lifestyle: it is full of damaged people, damaging each other in exchange for $$$$.”

    My view is that there are a lot more healthy people in sugar than I found in the clubs on Hollywood blvd, hanging around with rock or rap groups, hanging around with racers or even the bars . Hopefully sugar is a transient lifestyle choice and not a career .

  54. gentle(man)soul says:

    @gtt_envy

    ” Are most SD’s really just sex addicts risking it all for a rush? ”

    Sex addiction is the engagement in sexual related behavior to the extent that one’s life becomes unmanageable . This behavior involves all activities from masturbation ,extramarital affairs , porn ,etc . Even married sex can be addicting . A coworker had to have sex with his wife 5 times /day. Came home from a sales job morning noon and afternoon .This obviously is unmanageable and interferes with intimacy –and work as you can imagine . There is a lot of pathology amongst us as Spicey alludes to .

    @ Sweetie- wonder why you have not found sucre all this time? Really interested to hear.

    I think it is that picture of Bruce Willis sweetie . If you put a pic of a hot girl you might have better luck . I keep thinking you are a dude .

    @Sugary

    ” Backing up what I’ve always said about the sugar lifestyle: it is full of damaged people, damaging each other in exchange for $$$$.”

    I agree ,yet I am addicted to the lifestyle . All of us here buying and selling each other are dealing with issues in our life inappropriately. I am an addict –I admit it

  55. SD-Rob says:

    @ sugary- well at least my case is quite opposite of what you mention. Intimacy and companionship is what I am looking for and in fact the $ part is the disturbing part to it, although I don’t mind it. The sex is a natural extension of the companionship. What brought me to sugar life was the ease of hooking up with someone that I could be intimate with and looking for something exclusive that could even lead to a normal relationship eventually.
    It is interesting that Onyx had such a relationship for 3 years and the age difference did not let it continue to something more. That is why I have been looking more at the 30 somethings where the age difference is under 20 years, in case there is something long term that could come out of it to replace my current dismal marriage once the kids are out of the house. Sugar has allowed me to find partners quickly for someone who has no really opportunity to seek one in an organic way. Of course, the downside as I have mentioned been that it has been way too easy and for a while trying out different sugar became my obsession which one could call a temporary sexual addiction ?
    SBs approach to this whole thing does not help either since understandably most want to keep their feelings and emotions in check in fear of something more and long term.

  56. SugarySpicey says:

    Hey y’all popped in for a moment and saw a question that I was interested in:

    Going to weigh in for a moment on GTT’s question of “addiction” because it it something I’ve been working on. Your doctor misspoke. As I’ve been learning, sexual relationships involving “sugar” are a sign of an intimacy disorder – older accomplished men choosing shallow relationships with inappropriate partners because they are afraid of intimacy or want to feel “important” as a white knight without the real trappings of emotional intimacy. SDs provide “sugar” as a way to ensure they can keep the supply available and remain in their stunted state of maturity forever. Women forgoe independence and trade their sexuality for “sugar” instead of pursuing relationships based on mutual support, respect, and a partner’s ability to fulfill long term needs.

    When you take the accepted “sexually compulsive behavior” quiz, most sugar activity puts the SD (at least) on the sexual compulsion scale and puts the SB on the Cinderella complex Love-seeking behavior scale.

    Backing up what I’ve always said about the sugar lifestyle: it is full of damaged people, damaging each other in exchange for $$$$.

  57. onyx_percula says:

    @ gtt_envy — Sounds like you found an opportunistic doc there, lol. I guess there are all kinds of variations to an addiction but… every time I have heard about a sex addict, they have been the type that was having sex with anyone and everyone that would have them all day every day. They had an accelerating involvement in kink. If I remember you see your SBs once or twice a month for a weekend at most. I have yet to hear you complain about those nasty whip marks on your SBs… so a distant nah.

    I can only speak for myself… I have always had what anyone would describe as a strong/healthy sex drive. I worked as a bouncer and roady in my 20’s and “lived the life to the max”. Then a few years ago I discovered that I have low T and started replacement therapy. As best the docs can tell I have always been on the low side, which account for my lack of energy and inability to ever be able to build mass. All I can say now is WOW! I now truly know what sex drive really is! So if the defining element of a sex addict is frequency then I qualify, lol.

    But more seriously… the core of any diagnosis of an addiction is if you engage in harmful or destructive behaviors to support your addiction. An addict will literally do anything to get whatever their fix is which of course never satisfies for very long if at all. That has always been my yardstick…

    I think if I’m ever in that situation… “Thanks but I’m pretty sure my SBs are less expensive and more fun than you.”.

  58. SD-Rob says:

    @ dark horse- you are quite right. I have been searching, but also the lure of the next SB being better kept me moving. Also, at least with the ones I met, only maybe one kept communication going during the week, others only touched base basically the day before our planned meeting, so the rest of the week I was tempted to roam the site, and start new conversations. The very first one was ideal in terms of staying in touch, keep the anticipation going by sending me texts randomly about how she was looking forward to our meeting, what she was doing , etc. it was very nice and had me hooked, but her physique is what was not ideal , at least for me and her unreability in keeping the date a couple of times made me move on. Current one is the same as first one, keeps my interest, I like her physically, and intimacy is out of this world for both us. So, we’ll see how long this one lasts.
    @ Sweetie- wonder why you have not found sucre all this time? Really interested to hear. My current SB started on the site back in the summer, but I was the first one she met and hooked up with, since she says she was busy with school during the fall. I totally believe her based on our first meeting, and I thought that was a long time to be on the site without getting sugar. What is yours?!

  59. Eloquence says:

    @ sweetie

    I find you cavity-luscious! :) and completely understand. Aspartame doesn’t give cavities just a warning of possible cancer. See what I mean? I would rather have a cavity babydoll, chin up gorgeous!

  60. Eloquence says:

    @ Darkhorse

    Yes its Sugar I’m into because @ GTT so delicately placed the borderline rush the sugar effect is as it pulses through your veins when its that good. You get the right taste and you will always sense the powerful aroma. Sometimes its candy coated, sometimes it just hasn’t hit the oven to bake yet.. but when its good..you will wait. Ha

  61. Zack says:

    @ Guru 😛 ok, customer service is crappy…but not you. (ty for shepherding us.)…and also…I really didn’t mean to make such a mess with reposts…the HTiTP’s are sometimes troublesome to notice…:P But, well…if that’s the trigger, does it really serve a purpose? Blech, nm, not my concern 😛
    //en.wikipedia.org/wiki/SEP_field#Fiction

    @ gtt: LOLOLOL
    //www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=bgq8_EmOSM0

    @ Ash: you raise some nice points.

    Oh, yeah, I forgot at least Beach. Hope your coccyx is better, and watch out for sleepry slopes 😛
    //www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZzLPE0_NKJM

    Anyone want to talk abut favorite movies or something?

    And, how many readers noticed DH actually negotiating? If you didn’t you weren’t supposed to. 😛

  62. DarkHorseSD says:

    Call to find out if he does couples’ therapy and bring your SBs.

  63. gtt_envy says:

    Wow, just got back from a Superbowl party and a Psychiatrist was there 20 years exp. Well, somehow my exploits were revealed by my (drunken) best bud and Mr.Mental health says “Hey, before you go I treat Sexual addictions here is my card!”

    I didn’t know what to say except “Thanks lol”

    Wonder if it’s accurate though? Are most SD’s really just sex addicts risking it all for a rush?

  64. DarkHorseSD says:

    Rob I decided to look back at your posts about finding someone to stick with. Don’t feel bad. A lot of these SBs just aren’t very interesting. They don’t have much to them. So you get tired of them. Maybe you learn not to start up with those in the first place if that bothers you.

    Then you find someone with more depth, more skills. It lasts. It’s good because you feel you are really getting some value for all you are putting out. You just didn’t find that yet. Maybe this one now. Maybe the next one.

  65. onyx_percula says:

    @ SD-Rob — My first SB, we were together for 3 years, I was her first lover and first love. We never really thought of our relationship as sugar, more like she had a older BF that supported her in many ways. I met all of her immediate family except her father. We talked about staying together many many times, but it always came around to kids. While she was scared to death to get pregnant she really REALLY wanted kids of her own.

    Keep in mind I am ~30 years older than her. She was a tinder 19 when I rescued her from life and dragons. We finally decided that it would be better for everyone if we didn’t stay together and start a family together. The age complications were the primary concern, her being a widow at a time in her life where it would be harder to find a partner, where children would be asked “is that your grandfather?”, where she might be saddled with a old man that couldn’t wipe his own ass when she is still a vital and energetic woman.

    I guess loves conquers all, but there has to be reason too, and it never hurts to not knowing throw difficulties in your path.

    She found her man a few months after moving back to NY, I am attending their wedding this June. Yes he knows all about me, and has thanked me repeatedly for saving his future wife at a very vulnerable time in her life. We don’t talk nearly as much as we used to, the first month we talked several times a day EVERY day, lol. Now I settle her nerves, give her a LD shoulder to cry on, someone to vent at instead of her man, lol. I still love her, and she loves me, but we are content with our choices.

    @ All — Anyone else see “sugar daddy Joe Namath” tonight? That sweet little girl sure wasn’t his grand daughter, lol!

    • SD Guru says:

      If you wonder why your comment is stuck in moderation:

      – Comments by first time posters are automatically moderated. After it’s approved then all subsequent comments will not be automatically moderated.
      – Existing posters who use a different handle or email addy (on purpose or due to typo) are treated as a first time poster and automatically moderated.
      – All comments including an email addy or url (such as to youtube) are automatically moderated.

      Yes I’m an unpaid volunteer moderator.

  66. sweetie says:

    Rob, I’ve been on SA for 10 months now and am still sans sucre.

  67. DarkHorseSD says:

    I’ve had SB relationships approach GF relationships tangentially in various ways, but they haven’t ever become such.

  68. DarkHorseSD says:

    Elo are you sure that’s sugar you are into?

  69. SD-Rob says:

    @ All- another question that I am sure has come up before but …
    Having heard Onyx talk about a potential GF arrangement with a SB that did not work, and sugarspicey talk about taking the arrangement into a normal relationship (I hate to call it a real life one, since SD/SB is indeed real life, just not the traditional normal one), with I think it was Pirate, I wonder how many others have had an arrangement become a normal relationship before?
    I take it, it is not very often. When I browse the SB profiles, I see ones who have been on for months, and always logged in within several days, so either they have not met anyone or are continuously meeting SDs. Hence, just from that I know that it is unlikely that there are too many SB/SD relationships that go normal. Of course, that is the nature of the beast any way, but curious to hear others’ experiences in this area.

  70. Ash says:

    @Euphoria

    But your second after a snicker doodle! That’s, a “big deal”.

  71. Euphoria retired sb says:

    @Ash only second: I thought I was special. *pouts*

  72. Ash says:

    @Euphoria

    You’re my second favorite cookie duhh lol.

    @Zack

    Hello Mr. Zack how did I fit into what?

    @Eloquence

    How long have you been dabbling in the sugar arena?

  73. Eloquence says:

    Since I need to “change the channel” …let a few beats drop from the song as if your a native on a journey and this would be me as a “composition”if you ever laid eyes on me. YouTube: John Legend “made to love”.

  74. Eloquence says:

    If ever I was made to take a spoonful of something..it was bumping into my ex husb randomly today who literally looks like Beckham. Loins quiver as he professes his undying love still…knowing some prices are too high to pay in the long run. Egads!
    But good Lawd, where is my being transformed in this vast sugar world to spoon me medicine where Im compelled to feel my own temple for fever… I believe this little lady is about to sign off on her sugary delight as to mere fantasy and call it quits.

  75. Zack says:

    @euph…a good word would be “ours.”

    //www.youtube.com/watch?v=36Uv2RvwMj8

  76. sweetie says:

    Horsey “Right around the time the average age of a 44 year old SB became 29”

    That would be 34.

  77. Zack says:

    @ DH yeah. I understand, but remember the idea (hateful though it may be) of sunk costs. Don’t take it out on anyone at hand….push a reset in your own head and consider long term…then it gets fun…

    @ all…and that’s a good reason in itself. Lol

    oh, multiple good reasons help to do something…call it “critical mass” or something, but it’s useful to think that things have multiple inputs 😛

    @ ;ladies…Happy valentine’s…I know it’s just a Hallmark, but time and symbols matter also.

    …But if it’s the thought that counts, more women should be pregnant. (citation missing)

    @ GS Shrug. 😛

    @ Flyer: not the key. That’s a result of a process 😛 Ok, we can argue about tiers over a bottle someday.

    @ Ash Ok, so how did you fit that into that?

  78. Euphoria retired sb says:

    @ Ash: I thought I was everyones favorite cookie :(

  79. Ash says:

    @Euphoria

    Aw, it’s my favorite cookie lol:)

  80. Euphoria retired sb says:

    Noo.. I mean if a Sugar baby and a sugar daddy make a baby… What would you call the baby? You cant call it a baby because the sugar baby is already a baby.

  81. DarkHorseSD says:

    A sugar daddy and sugar momma using a sugar baby for a surrogate might get a BDSM

  82. flyr says:

    hopefully the moderator deleted my prior which appears to be an accidental posting of the entire thread…

  83. Euphoria retired sb says:

    @Ash: I used to have a star wars charter named snickerdoodle! It was my level 90 bff pet. lol

  84. Ash says:

    @Euphoria

    The first thing that came SD+SB= SNICKERDOODLE

  85. Euphoria retired sb says:

    DarkHorseSD: Nah, I think ill stick with what I have.

    So, if a sb and a sd make a baby…. What do you call the baby? Just curious.

  86. DarkHorseSD says:

    …because its just not worth it for less.

  87. DarkHorseSD says:

    Yes. You can show up to the Carlyle in jeans and a cheap top expecting 5+ cash a month for 3 meets like every other SB.

  88. DarkHorseSD says:

    Right around the time the average age of a 44 year old SB became 29

  89. Euphoria retired sb says:

    Hey, talking about the topic… When did the average age of a Sugar Daddy become 39? All I see is cute little old men with silver hair that want me to be their midlife crisis…. I must be missing something.

  90. Euphoria retired sb says:

    @ gentle(man) soul : Evil grin
    @Dark H: Rofl… I just goggled Carlyle. Too bad im a retired sb or I would go hang out there in more casual attire. I’ve been missing out. Darn that Starbucks!

  91. Eloquence says:

    @ Flyer

    Due to time restraint on elaborating, I agree.

  92. gentle(man) soul says:

    @Dark H

    ” A $4000 weekend. Man that’s way under a hundred an hour and its not all spent on the SB. Even throw in the suitcase and what you got for yourself is barely minimum wage.”

    And that’s why some people miss an experience of a lifetime .. And Dark H ,I think you are argumentative for the fun of it , and that you are a softy in real life

    @ Euphoria

    ” You can work for col sanders for 40 hrs per week and make $300. Or you can blow col sanders and make $300 in 10 min while your at the beach having a good time. Which would you prefer?”

    LOLOLO too much ! I like the way you think (Big grin )

  93. DarkHorseSD says:

    Well if I’m going to meet her at the Carlyle I can wear anything but Starbucks I gotta look like money.

    If I’m only meeting one a week now, she’s responsible for the whole haircut

  94. Euphoria retired sb says:

    DarkHorseSD: How many haircuts do you really need per week? Showering is a every day event and now showering is a chore to be thrown in the sb’s face. By the way, most people just put their pants in the washer.
    Sounds like if you need a new pair of pants every time you go out, then you should be looking for a SM instead. lol

  95. DarkHorseSD says:

    At what price do I value the pain and suffering of sitting in Starbucks? How much per hour taken away from something else should I value the lengthy communications with numerous women before finding one I like that will meet at Starbucks?

    Also haircuts are up to $16 at my neighborhood barber. That’s just the cut. And I have to shave, maybe even shower, and keep my nails respectable. Do I HAVE to shave?

    But now I hear about this manscape. And I need new pants. So I just can’t go out for nothin’.

  96. flyr says:

    In addition to Guru’s sage comment above – consider expanding your communication beyond your expectations to what would be nice to add to your life for your partner sd or sb may have resources or knowledge

    Some years ago when my SB discovered I was flying to the bay area every week she was thrilled that I could take her along occasionally and turn her loose while I was working. Lots of little things like knowing a great place to get a car fixed, some job leads. It works both ways, some of the best promotional material was written by an SB and others have edited reports and proposals. Some arrangements have included n hours per month of help with the amount added to the allowance to bridge the gap between the offer and the ask.

    The key is finding things that are worth much more to the recipient than the giver

  97. Euphoria retired sb says:

    DarkHorseSD says: On failed dates, every sb is different and has their own budget. Its not my fault that you set up 5 dates in a week instead of taking the time to get to know the girl and her expectations a little better before making taking her to an expensive dinner. Most of my failed dates included the misc $4 coffee at Starbucks to talk, Or 2 drinks at some random bar somewhere in the city. I wouldn’t really expect a sd to splurge on a meet and greet. Epically if its just somewhere in town.

  98. DarkHorseSD says:

    Where do we put in the SD budget all the failed dates until he gets to someone good?

  99. onyx_percula says:

    @ Euphoria retired sb — Preach it from the hills girl! Let them all hear your words of wisdom.

  100. Euphoria retired sb says:

    @Dark Horse Sd:
    And yes, I have thought this through. State laws actually do require you to take one day off of work per week. So technically if you swing it right and your well organized, you are only taking a day off work. If you need to study, bring your books to the beach and read them while you and your sd are posted by the pool, or at the beach. Its really not a big deal.
    And no, the sitter never made more then I did. That’s the convenience of co/parenting. Schedule these things when your child is on the other parents time. Otherwise, its rude to the child.

  101. Euphoria retired sb says:

    SD Guru: Actually, Ive worked the minimum wage jobs that most students have worked. What most sb’s fail to see is that out of a deal like that, a girl who only makes $7.25 per hour about $300 per week can make the same amount in about two days tax free.
    I think people in America are starting to figure it out. You can work for col sanders for 40 hrs per week and make $300. Or you can blow col sanders and make $300 in 10 min while your at the beach having a good time. Which would you prefer?

  102. Zack says:

    Gah.

    Zack says:
    Your comment is awaiting moderation.
    February 2, 2014 at 1:59 am
    Your comment is awaiting moderation.
    February 2, 2014 at 1:42 am
    @ elq: DH is a secretive diamond, but is not eager to talk. Be patient like the rest of us? P
    //www.youtube.com/watch?v=QdykXAT19Go

    @Euph ty for noticing the guys’ (partial) reality. In the short term reality can be suspended. I feel this may not (for my goals) be a good basis for a ltr, but negotiations are….complex 😛

    @ Rob..regards and respect, but be gentle with the newbies?…they are…clueless.

    @ all, ty 4 the #’s. I would interject that my “meet and greet” or “starting” salary is a lot higher than my weekly/”one night and two days” per week steady state. But the latter is reliable.

    @Guru…if you are an unpaid moderator, then I value you as much as SA. 😛
    //www.dailymotion.com/video/xydxa_the-beatles-yellow-submarine_music&start=36

    @FB…GD it..what with the SD/SA/BS…you seem to scent oddly. 😛

    @ all, also Money isn’t everything (after food, rent, existence). Really? Ladies set your “needs” as gentlemen calculate their ->sustainable<- budget…then get to the coy negotiations…we can spin around that lower level drama for ever and every week, if Susan J wishes, but…for each person reading…look for things that "click"…be they sex, attraction, money/needs, friendship, Goals…they mean more than cash, if you want ltr. Short term…work on style vs. substance (sorry SA)

    @ Afri: wow. (I'd say that again, but I won't :P) Nevermind your book, ty for letting us read the advance copy…keep your notes and journal for someday? You may not have the polish of a top notch SB, but you -appear- to have the potential. Where may we have lunch?

    @ newbies: recall that the blog gods have seen it before. A lot. Please be well spoken, you are not alone here. Poorly parsed ideas….

    @Katpaw…be well, girl :) as my blog crush, I apologize for screwing up your world before we were ready….did I mention I'm new? I'll learn and I thank you for the chance to grow.

    @Joy…we really need to work on our communication. If you can get past "today," I want to know you for years, dear. Sic tranist my crushes, sigh.

    @op Yeah, I'm going to read your blog. Someday I'll post. Is that going to be a problem? See you in Fla circumstance permitting…my treat, Sir 😛

    @DH Don't bring me down. 😛 Regards.

    @Flyr: Someday, we're gonna talk.

    @OPs…well, I lost a live in and a Legendary SB this week. "Work" progressed, though…and I'm not replaceable. You have an established history of doing well in the long run. This minor drama is one way of processing, talking…and boasting 😛 Be warned…I may follow your proto-blog. I want to understand more of this, and I think your week has been typical…for you under high pressure. Shake it off, it'll pass in a while.

    @GS…I fear this blog needs more goddesses…we seem to have eaten ours Any thoughts?

    @ Melissa: "Hi," welcome to the blog…you seem new…

    @gtt Fit your curves, but options are good.

    @ Doc…likewise welcome. Be prepared to be, umm, unprepared in some ways. But if you are sensitive to "tease" then you are not ready 😛

    @ Joy…really?! Are you talking to video producers or am I just a clueless novice…you rock.

    @ All Someday, one of the lessons to learn…Options Really Do Help! (more on that under a different blog, someday, maybe, lol)

    @ DorkyGuy Where did you go?

    @ SuSp…MK IV: When will you return?

    @ SA moderators…if you don't tell me not to, I'm going to repost that thing in moderation from a few days ago. 😛 ok, it's not a Lloyd's matter.

    @pot SB's: I'm seeking partially kept mistress, negotiations along the lines of "how many days, nights will you commit to per week?" and "ok, is $X per week enough to make that work for you? If so, let's talk…a lot." I really like the Idea of an "all inclusive" budget as offered by SD's…but it'll not actually work for most people (such is a shame, imho)?

    B is missed.

    SuSP is missed.

    Dorkyguy is missed. did I miss anyone? 😛

    Moderation is for Monks and Platoniststs.
    //www.youtube.com/watch?v=xN1ZxRMuMt4#t=11

  103. Eloquence says:

    @ DarkHorse

    Do say…You to have lack of accompaniment?

    I’m all ears…

  104. SD-Rob says:

    @ Flyr- Actually, the reason mine were a month or less until the recent one was because of me. For various reasons. One of them, I had not seen her body before getting intimate and she did not live up to my expectations. Learned to ask for a bikini pic after that in a very courteous manner. A few others seemed to be P4P only and I never contacted. Couple that lasted a month, I became bored. Very ashamed of myself now for that, but that was indeed the case. And like you say in case of the SB, I was the one who found another seemingly better SB at the time as I roamed the profiles and kept contacting different girls. Too much sugar too easily as I have mentioned before.
    The current one has me quite hooked and vice versa as the chemistry is incredible as well as everything else. We are making plans well past 6 months, so we will see. I think it may end eventually once she is out of grad school but have to wait and see.
    But I see your points from the SBs point of view.

  105. gtt_envy says:

    @DarkhorseSD, and many would look at it just like that too!!

    • SD Guru says:

      @Euphoria
      “After he spent over $4000 in a weekend showing me Santa Monica, I wasn’t going to attempt to argue my $300 allowance with him.”

      Thanks for sharing your experience. What worked out well for you may not work for others though. Some SB’s cannot travel like you did due to family/school/work commitments, and some may consider paying bills/expenses/debt more important than trips/shopping/gifts. That’s why it’s always important to clearly communicate expectations on both sides. A travel/gift SD like the one you described, no matter how loaded and generous he is, may not be a good fit for SB’s who prefer to have an allowance instead.

  106. DarkHorseSD says:

    A $4000 weekend. Man that’s way under a hundred an hour and its not all spent on the SB. Even throw in the suitcase and what you got for yourself is barely minimum wage.

    And you took time off $work$ and the $itter made more than you did.

    See how to look at it? LOL 😉 :)

  107. DarkHorseSD says:

    Elo my date didn’t pan out fully so I’m all yours the rest of the night

  108. Eloquence says:

    since you spoke Romeo & Juliet.. YouTube: One Republic song “Something I Need”.

  109. Mellisa says:

    @Sweetie-yey! * insert Melissa doing a happy little dance* I’m getting there:-)

    @onyx, I’m sorry to hear about your live in SB. Consider it a blessing in disguise.

  110. Newbie Needs Help says:

    aww onyx, sorry to hear :(
    @darkhorse wow 4 years that’s impressive

  111. Ash says:

    @gentleman

    oops did i put 5500 weekly? I meant 500 lol*

  112. Doc says:

    @KatPaw Flirt? Whooo meee? I think your teasing me… Hahaha

  113. Euphoria retired sb says:

    @ gentle(man)soul.. Exactly. The next weekend trip was Maui.
    The way I viewed it
    Spending time in an exotic island that I would never have been able to afford = Priceless.

  114. DarkHorseSD says:

    Heading out to start an ad hoc “p4p” overnight without predetermined quid pro quo. And it’s not even 6pm.

  115. DarkHorseSD says:

    How can a p4p be quoted at a weekly rate? Regardless of typos.

  116. gentle(man)soul says:

    I meant ” All of us ,and I include moi , are NOT “typical ” personalities compared to the general population.

  117. gentle(man)soul says:

    @ Vixen

    ” Don’t be afraid to bring up your price, isn’t that what we are here for? ”

    Thank you . Call it like it is .

    @ Sweetie

    ” Aren’t employees your best investment? ”

    Yes but the economics always have to work .

    @SD-Rob

    “@ All – what is the typical and longest arrangement you all have had?”

    longest 16 mos ,typical 4 mos

    @DarkHorse

    ” Somehow these liars, sociopaths, get through life.”

    All of us ,and I include moi , are “typical ” . The sugar world takes a special breed of person –some good and some not so.

    @ Ash

    ” If I was going to do a P4P it would have to be 5500 weekly, ”

    You will get what you can get . Anyone can demand $ XYZ but whether you get it or not depends on multiple factors .” Freakin’ awesome” is in the eyes of the beholder –and the payor

    @ Euphoria

    ” After he spent over $4000 in a weekend showing me Santa Monica, I wasn’t going to attempt to argue my $300 allowance with him.”

    Wow ! What a great deal ,and is the point of my econ lesson above . If you want to be transactional then you might pass up a truly special SD and experience

  118. DarkHorseSD says:

    Cool. For a grand I can get a hot SB to make me look good for the next 4 years or 50000 miles.

  119. Ash says:

    @Euphoria retired sb

    Wow that sounds freaking amazing. I wouldn’t have said anything about an allowance either! lol.

  120. KatPaw says:

    Meow my sugars..
    @ doc lol the “toy” really was and autocorrect fail! But you are a flirt!
    @ all purrrrrrf kitty has landed on her feet for most part and now has a home. :-)

  121. flyr says:

    @ROB “@ All – what is the typical and longest arrangement you all have had? Mine have not lasted beyond one month :(, until the current one, which is now 5 weeks including the meet & greet.”

    Couple of thoughts – in addition to the usual issues of incompatibility, lots of sugar relationships end in infancy

    * SB was here to satisfy a short term need or decided it was not for her
    *SB was nurturing a number of prospects and someone else became the preferred
    * Old SD came back
    * New SD appeared from prior contacts

  122. Euphoria retired sb says:

    I think the last time I flew out to see a sd, he flew me from NYC to sf. After that we flew to Santa Monica for a wonderful weekend. He took me shopping and gave me some travel money to make sure that my bags were checked ect….

    The bill looked something like this.
    Round trip ticket NYC-SF $575
    Two Tickets to SF-Lax $300
    Hotel stay Santa Monica $900
    Sun dresses/Swim suit ect $350
    Trip to banana republic $400
    Trip to green doctor $250
    Food $450
    Rental car $200
    A big suitcase for new clothes $65
    Gass to get around $150
    Extra money for going home $300
    Bicycle rentals/park admissions/ $300
    other random crap
    Grand total of trip………………………$4265
    After he spent over $4000 in a weekend showing me Santa Monica, I wasn’t going to attempt to argue my $300 allowance with him. The only words out of my mouth were, let me know when we can hang out again. I had such a good time!

  123. onyx_percula says:

    @ Guru — Honestly I’m not sure I would do things all that differently. Yes I put out “a lot” of money, at least in comparison to a normal arrangement for me. But I also limited my exposure and made it as difficult as possible to just take the cash.

    So to expand on that…

    Whenever possible I refused to give cash. If the electric bill needed paid, I paid it directly. Need money for gas? No worries I will call the chain in the area and put $X on her store account (can only be used at that chain of stores and never as a ATM for cash or cash back). If anything I was too lazy in this. So maybe I would have been more diligent about this.

    There has to be some flexibility in all of it. If I were to jump and end it at the first transgression then I would never have an arrangement with her or anyone else for that matter.

    The bottom line is that I was willing to take a gamble to get a win/win/win situation. I took a risk and she took a risk to make some short term gains and lost.

    If I did something wrong it was likely with a root of overestimating the value of my offer. The short of it would have resulted in a reset, do over of her adult life to date. A chance to raise herself and son out of poverty, gain an education in a safe and stable environment, with an expected end result of a woman that can stand on her own without the help of others, capable of supporting herself and her son.

  124. Ash says:

    @Rob

    I would say with a valentine gift, when it comes to a relationship like this. Give her a gift that will make her cum more than a gift that would make her go awww. In my opinion. That’s when that great valentine sex comes in lol.

  125. Ash says:

    Woah… i just wrote a novel looking at my post lol…

  126. Ash says:

    “Im not necessarily expecting him to agree to an allowance, and if he does I know before it gets to that it will probably be p4p until he is comfortable giving me an allowance and I trust he will actually pay the allowance. My thing is I dont think $200 is worth it. Should we hit it off and I decide to do that the same night, it also has to be worth it for me and giving it up for 200 is a joke to me. The lowest I would go is $450 and if he doesnt agree then thats fine I will leave because I am not interested in a man who on top of getting what he wants, wants to also cheat me by not giving me what I want…..giving some subpar $200 I will literally spend in the blink of an eye. And I will be honest, I feel I have the upper hand because this guy would neverrr in his life get someone like me, just generally. lol he is supper excited about it and I feel if I walk away he will obviously find someone who will accept that amount but never the way I look. I know that sounds horrible but I am keenly aware of what I bring to the table….and I would go into detail but I would be so mortified if he read this lmao,…but its true.

    Yes I am in this for the money but not for no little bitty amount that isnt going to even fill my wallet you know? And 200 doesnt do that for me.”

    @AFRI

    I actually get what you were saying and I don’t think you were being harsh at all. I feel the same way. For one, I was approached with the 200 p4p too and I got great advice from everyone here but following my heart at the end of the day. That was wayy to low, I’m a college student and that wouldn’t even cover two books you know. I then thought 400 and up is more reasonable. But is it a weekly thing or twice a month? If I was going to do a P4P it would have to be 5500 weekly, you give him what he wants and is missing in life at that moment, and if it’s good he should give you that generous amount so that you can also be happy in a different way because your paying off bills with no stress, things are flowing in your life again. School isn’t as stressful because you’re not thinking about money issues and you can treat yourself to a little shopping here and there or however you spend your money for what you want it for. But if you do a monthly arrangement you should just get a straight answer from him as how much money would you like to spend on me monthly and go according o the site, practical, moderate, etc. You know okay he doesn’t want to spend more than 3000 in a month. You can break that down in you own way with him because he can give you an upfront every two weeks yet you can see him multiple times or however you guys chose to see each other with’in that month.

    The reason “I” would expect a more up there sum of sugar is because when a SD comes here he’s looking for an out, a fantasy, and arousal from no one typical because at the day he’s looking for a gorgeous appearance and he’s willing to paying to get that fantasy. Whether it’s hanging out with a beautiful young, smart woman, who has things going for her, sees her future, or is just looking for a confident fun, lively pretty woman who’s open to just living life grandly and is great to be around no complaining, whining or stuff you would get out of a wife or traditional relationship.

    I learned most SD’s want something they typically wouldn’t get on a regular day with a woman they actually have to date and it because sooo annoying because your in a real relationship not an arranged on. Which is another reason they give you sugar. Not including men who are very handsome and financially free who can get any woman, yet, he still finds out that he’s “still” treating her like an SB they just not talking about it. However he ends up spending way more on her keeping her happy BECAUSE they never talked about it. I noticed the best way to use SA is to use it the way they designed it to get the best out of it. Put a budget on the table for a beautiful woman and she gets what she wants that fun gentlemen and sugar and he gets what he wants his fantasy lived, hanging out with a beautiful woman, they have wonderful sensual dinners, they go to the beach together lay out, talk, and they have wonderful sex that makes him relive his college days lol. That’s why it should be higher for an SB because of the non-physical intimacy. When you make sugar for purely sex things get soo complicated lol and stressful just trying to figure it out but if you can handle it and it’s not for you, more power to you.

    Second, I completely agree with you when you spoke about they way you look. I’m not conceited by all means everyone, I swear. Yet I know I look freakin amazing because I worked hard in the gym to look the way I do and I guess genes too lol. I’m the type of girl I work out six days a week to keep my stacey dash body. I dress like kim kardasion. I have a personality that’s bubbly, friendly and inviting, and I have a sex appeal that once you meet me and start talking to me you might get a little bit of a wood. I’m just really feminine and I “love” being a woman. I’m from the bahamas and I have a halle berry skin tone so I look completely exotic. I’m not saying all this to say I’m queen B or anything that makes me sound entitled, i don’t want to come off that way. I’m simply saying this because i know as the SD you will love being with me, you will completely enjoy being intimate with me and i’ll give you everything you want. It’s only fair that in making you feel like a man on top of the world when we hang out on the beach and I’m wearing a silk thong bikini and everyone is giving you an ego boost by the stares you receive that I feel good too by the way you treat me when it comes to sugar. I want to feel like his little jewel or like his lambo. Yes I’m comparing my self to a car because seeing a man take care of his lambo or extremely expensive vehicle lol it’s how i would like him to take care of me, gentle, buying the best for me, he would by his car 1000 dollar rims because it make him look amazing when riding in it so buy me a 1000 dollar gift because I’m doing the same thing and more. as an SB he should make you feel like “here babe whatever you want, you want a 500 or 1000 to shop or for school here you go, I want you to be happy. Am I right guys because please tell me if I’m not or if this is far fetch.

    @Elaine and afri

    I agree with elaine too, have fun and do your thing. You said you can bring allot to the table. Show him that on that first meet and greet, if it’s somewhere you can dance, take some shots and get on that dance floor and show him some sexy moves, make your meet and greet a place where you can show your personality and see what his is like if he’s discreet and to himself and just was sex or he really wants in SB to take away from his life for a second and show him a good time. In return maybe like she said. He may give you more. I definitely learned allot from this blog and that that talking about your allowance is important however maybe it will come off a bit better once you guys have had a great time together instead of just sitting down and talking about an amount which he may be stand offish about because he doesn’t know what all he’s actually getting from you, are you going to make him happy, or is he just going to be your “cash machine” or, if he’s just paying because of the sex aspect. Hope I didn’t offend anyone:)

    ALOT of this I gathered from everyones experience and kinda of formed my own outlook. You guys are all awesome.

  127. DarkHorseSD says:

    Guru – SBs overestimate what they CAN get from an SD. (Yes especially from peer reinforcement). What they underestimate is what they DO get from an SD.

  128. DarkHorseSD says:

    Talking with one of my dates in the two previous days about her experiences has made me think this morning about the importance of sugar participants becoming knowledgable about the sociopath/psychopath because so many infiltrate the sugar world – and there are plenty everywhere.

    Good familiarity with the signs and how to handle yourself is important considering its almost impossible not to be assailed and victimized at some points by them.

  129. DarkHorseSD says:

    Somehow these liars, sociopaths, get through life. There are marks to latch on to, for shorter or longer periods, until discovered and moving on. We may wish them to fail as punishment for their deception and hurtful ways, but they generally don’t, and don’t see the light, as we may wish they could.

  130. onyx_percula says:

    @ gtt_envy — Congrats!

    The next is “L from FL”. She is a young girl I have been talking to since last summer. We have becomes fast friends, I have become a mentor, advisor, friend and a shoulder to “cry” on. She is a stunning long haired blond with those wonderful eyes that range from a deep blue to gray. She was a competitive swimmer and has that build, not a bikini model but pin-up model. She is sweet smart sensitive and sexual.

    She is coming to me for our first face to face in a couple of weeks. I will try to sell her on the live-in idea while she is here, but I do not holding out much hope for that. I’m 99% sure we will seal and arrangement of some kind or another while she is here. The sexual tension is so thick you would need a chainsaw to cut it. She has never asked me for a dime and when we talked about allowance for an arrangement “Whatever you think is fine with me”. When I told her about the GF’s dragon issues and told her I might have to delay our meeting “Don’t worry about allowance this time, I don’t need any, I just want to see you”. DING! DING! DING! Ladies and Gentlemen I think we have a winner!

    • SD Guru says:

      @Onyx
      “As it turns out most if not all of those dragons were manufactured in an effort to get more money out of me.”

      I’m sorry to hear that, but I can’t say I’m surprised. When you first mentioned this possible live-in arrangement in October, several on the blog raised concerns and questioned the likelihood of things turning out the way you had envisioned. Some of my “golden rules” come to mind, such as “don’t ignore warning signs, don’t reward bad behavior, and don’t make her problems yours.” Also, for those with the “white knight syndrome“, just keep in mind that some SB’s can’t be helped because their life is a disaster and no amount of money from you or anyone can change that.

      I’m sure there were many lessons you learned and re-learned. Knowing what you know now, what would you have done differently?

      @Gentle Soul
      “So you can see that your allowance is a smaller portion of a SD’s budget in having a SB.”

      Most SD’s tend to underestimate their SB related expenses (especially newbie SD’s), and most SB’s tend to overestimate what they get from their SD’s (especially when talking to other SB’s).

  131. gtt_envy says:

    @Onyx, oooooooh that brings back the sting of some of my bad experiences!! Those definitely leave a bad taste in your mouth!!

    I’ve had great karma the last 2 months don’t know why. From the athletic coed with awesome quad sweep and a body that is off the charts who is 50 minutes away to a similarly shaped angel close to where I travel to monthly…. I have no complaints at all. Down right addictive lately ……..which may not be a good thing lol.

    Hope the next one is awesome!!

  132. DarkHorseSD says:

    You think you are confused? I’m texting an SB about what website Romeo and Juliet met through.

  133. Eloquence says:

    @ Onyx

    At least you didn’t repress your feelings :) and I sincerely hope it works out the way in which you want it to.

  134. sweetie says:

    Wow, Onyx! That’s really terrible. Sorry to hear that. Definitely her loss. I don’t get these girls who have no spine at all… You’re better off without her. Consider it part of the weeding process. There are better apples out there; I know you’ve had a few. 😉 Chin up!

  135. Eloquence says:

    @ DarkHorse

    You posed the question right indeed. There would be one I would not ignore. What are the odds? (since I’m thinking outloud).

  136. flyR says:

    Onyx

    Sorry to hear that it did not work out well

  137. DarkHorseSD says:

    Have have have ave

  138. DarkHorseSD says:

    Elo is there going to be someone you won’t ave to ignore?

  139. Eloquence says:

    I’m so reluctant to reveal my vulnerable oddities…I think I shall just ignore the fellow all together…and internally I feel childish for not sharing…grrrr at myself. Let me re-group….for I’m frustrated in non-sense that sharing should be so simple knowing the world is critical irregardless of the outcome.

  140. onyx_percula says:

    @ SD-Rob — 3 years.

  141. onyx_percula says:

    Well I’m not going to go into great detail, I still respect her privacy and mine 😉

    The plan was to have her move in this week or last week. But every time I turned around there was a dragon that needed slaying before she could/would move. Her karma was so bad that pretty soon I was sure in her past life she drowned puppies and kittens for a living and used live babies to weight down the bags.

    As it turns out most if not all of those dragons were manufactured in an effort to get more money out of me. I turned a blind eye to a some of them as, well… she is taking a big chance and I can’t blame her in wanting to be in the best position possible in case things went south.

    She pushed the bonds of “god this guy must be the stupidest man alive if he believes this…” and I confronted her about the lie.

    The last straw was such an outrageous and ridiculous lie “coming clean and telling the truth” that was enough. Her coming clean lie was that she was ripping me off so she could surprise me for Valentine’s Day with a nice dinner at a upscale place.

    The ironic thing is if she had truly come clean and offered the reasonable explanation why, we would likely still be together.

  142. DarkHorseSD says:

    Well here’s my experience: I’ve never had to settle for the numbers I’m reading from SBs for the relationship I’m inferring.

    Right now I’m meeting and heading into 2nd and 3rd+ dates at lower numbers for generous time together.

    These are NYC numbers. It doesn’t get more expensive than here.

  143. DarkHorseSD says:

    Elo what are you trying to deal with?

    Longest I just ended – spanned nearly 4 years, nearly 4.5 since first meet.

    Typical – several over a year, to two years.

    Many – quickly combust

  144. sweetie says:

    Yes, Onyx. Please elaborate. Which one was the SB turned GF? This is not the live-in, is it? Sorry, you have so many, can’t keep track.

  145. SD-Rob says:

    Onyx- do explain please. I missed what transpired, Very interested to hear.

    @ All – what is the typical and longest arrangement you all have had? Mine have not lasted beyond one month :(, until the current one, which is now 5 weeks including the meet & greet.

  146. Eloquence says:

    Their….oh, my mind!

  147. Eloquence says:

    No really…I’m green as grass on a response to a pot SD….I applaud everyone else who bares there soul…I’ll just say ‘Heaven help me.” And sigh.

  148. onyx_percula says:

    Well I seem to be running right with the average… the SB to GF lasted a whole 4 months. She choose to try to exploit for short term gains versus taking the long view.

  149. sweetie says:

    Melissa, your English is great!

  150. Melissa says:

    Afri- Before I had the chance to agree with you, these anglosphere nians ( Homer, sweetie and gtt_envy) beat me to it,since English is my 3rd
    (no kidding) language they worded it so eloquently than I would. Lol! adding to their advice, there’s no such thing as one size fits all arrangement. What works for you might not work for another. A genuine SD will be upfront about what his expectation are…if 200$ is not ideal for you then ask for what is, however keep attitude and entitlement out of the picture it can be borderline “drama”. Just MHO:-)

  151. sweetie says:

    Horsey “It reminds me of my employees who only think about their take home pay ,and forget that their health insurance I provide for them is costing me (and benefiting them ) $5000/year .”

    Aren’t employees your best investment?

    About the rest and how much SBs cost SDs, we’ve talked about this more than enough. Breaking it down to pennies takes all the sexy out of it. Same as before: Look how much I’m paying you! That’s so petty!
    If the SD can’t fit the expenses in his budget, he should not have a SB. Don’t stretch more than your blanket.

  152. Eloquence says:

    “Oh my” ….I’m frozen in my tracks from being deep-rooted green!!

  153. DarkHorseSD says:

    The parts you missed of what I said will get you fired by Wednesday if the first week.

  154. Newbie Needs Help says:

    “” How about…here’s a budget of 5000 for you to use ”

    Well ,If I were a SB I would pick you”

    I second that!!!!!!!

    and I’m with Homer and Sweetie re: Afri

  155. SD-Rob says:

    @ Afri – Could not agree more with Vixen. When the allowance is brought up right away the SD knows where he stands (I would not call it your price though :) And in addition the expected frequency of visits.
    Too high both parties can move on, if close then you can negotiate, in range then go for meet and greet.
    I have never gone on a meet and greet before knowing expectations , except for once where the SB listed $15k per month in her profile , winked me, and then we agreed to meet and in merting she asked for $1k per meet. It did not work for me since although very nice she did not do it for me at that allowance.

  156. Vixen says:

    @DarkHorseSD ….Deal!

    @Afri Im going to give you the same advice somebody else told me on the blog. To save yourself a bunch of time/effort.. be very open about what aspects you are looking for in a SD. Fill out your front profile page, and only respond to those who actually read it. I went from getting 30 (not worth even opening) messages a day, to a smaller amount containing more reasonable people I could actually engage with. Don’t be afraid to bring up your price, isn’t that what we are here for? I bring it up in the first few messages, but also forthcoming with no drama or dragging out things longer then they need to be.

  157. gentle(man)soul says:

    @ Dark H

    ” How about…here’s a budget of 5000 for you to use ”

    Well ,If I were a SB I would pick you

  158. DarkHorseSD says:

    My new tag line may be:

    I don’t have a wife! you have to share my budget with!

  159. flyr says:

    The married SD is probably better off paying the extra for her to have her own apartment.

  160. DarkHorseSD says:

    How about…here’s a budget of 5000 for you to use to keep me happy for the month. You submit for reimbursement and receive what is left over.

  161. gentle(man)soul says:

    @DarkH

    ” Of course the obvious solution to any SB is make the allowance $3000 so it’s now 5/8 of the budget. Problem solved ”

    Yep ! And let her cover meals,Hotel ,and sundries –I like it !

  162. flyr says:

    @gentle “It reminds me of my employees who only think about their take home pay ,and forget that their health insurance I provide for them is costing me (and benefiting them ) $5000/year .”

    Or that most people compare your gross income with their net income.

  163. Homer says:

    @Afri–I’m also in the camp that thinks you’re in the right. Although I am rather intolerant of the so called entitled SB, I don’t think you came off that way at all. We all have a price in our heads and you should ask for what you want. The market will let you know if you’re way off base. I think allowance discussions should come early, either in pre-meet emails or after an initial meet. You may want to meet face to face first to see if you have any attraction before you go on, or bring it up first so as not to waste time.
    Either way, a real SD will not have any problem discussing money. He knows what he brings to the table. If you talk to a guy who is “uncomfortable” talking about allowances, move on. When asked, he should at least be able to tell you what ball park figures he’s playing with. Like I said, if he can’t even go there, he’s a flake so don’t waste your time.

  164. DarkHorseSD says:

    Of course the obvious solution to any SB is make the allowance $3000 so it’s now 5/8 of the budget. Problem solved.

  165. gentle(man)soul says:

    Sugar econ 101:

    To new SBs who are unfamiliar with things from a SD’s POV ,here’s how the budget works IRL . I am assuming for the sake of argument that he is seeing you once/week ,monthly allowance is $1200 ,and that each visit involves an outing including dinner,drinks ,a show,bowling ,etc before retiring to the Love nest .
    Monthly Budget :

    Allowance $1200
    Hotel $400
    Board $400
    Gifts/flowers $400
    Travel (both) $400
    incidentals $200

    Total ———–$3000

    So you can see that your allowance is a smaller portion of a SD’s budget in having a SB . No cheap deal . So a “cheap ” Daddy is maybe not so cheap ,but is just trying to make things work for both of you .

    It reminds me of my employees who only think about their take home pay ,and forget that their health insurance I provide for them is costing me (and benefiting them ) $5000/year .

    Rich Daddy ! Of course you all want this one ,who doesn’t have to consider a budget ,but can just give you what you think you are worth . Just sayin ‘

  166. gtt_envy says:

    @Afri, while some of your comments did come off a little “rough”! I wholeheartedly agree with your stance.

    You are taking all of the risk and for such a paltry amount it’s not worth the risk…..unless like a few others have said it’s someone you would sleep with IRL.

    I’m a big believer in allowance being brought up before you even meet it takes away any of the games. Then you know 100% what you working with on both ends. It doesn’t mean that you will start a arrangement, but you know the terms hate guesswork!

    Best of luck!!

  167. Doc says:

    @KatPaw love when kitties purrrrr hehe. Well I’m glad things are starting to look up for you. But all I can think about right now is from our last small conversation the word toy and now Kat. And what pops up is that as seen on tv The Cats Meow. Now this is were it goes down hill hehehe. The words in the ad for that. Durable, surprises kitty, battery operated, hours of fun… The list could go on. Enough of my randomness. Good luck today.

  168. DarkHorseSD says:

    Coming up out of thin air with a number you want is not a valid process. It is valid to sit down alone and think through what minimum number is worth it to you to do whatever this is at all.

    The second, internal, decision is quite different and shouldn’t be confused with a process that leads to what is a reasonable range of expected gifting for whoever you are wherever you are.

    Then it’s a comparison to see the likelihood of whether this is going to be acceptable to you at all…and just how much effort a search may be to get to a deal.

  169. UpbeatSB says:

    Afri, I apologize… Nothing wrong with wanting what you want, but like some other bloggers I simply advise to take a softer approach. Softer doesn’t have to equate to being walked over. Sugar is about having fun…even in the search, I reckon! Again, best to you in finding what works for you! :)

  170. KatPaw says:

    Lmfao ever go back and reread your post and go WTF was I trying to say…??? Lol
    “I’m trying to keep thinking of the positive”

    On a nice note this kitty is purrrring off to slumberland.

  171. DarkHorseSD says:

    At least the blog no longer reinforces people’s entitlement, tantrums, pipe dreams, for the most part.

  172. DarkHorseSD says:

    Elaine, you are an example of the true and traditional which SA really doesn’t do anything to encourage.

  173. sweetie says:

    Afri, I’m going to take your side on this. I don’t think you have an attitude nor that you are entitled. If you have a specific minimum amount, then stick to it and make it clear to your prospect. Perhaps just work on the delivery of your expectation… money talk is never easy. Like Sugary was saying, and I paraphrase here, she only starts purring at a specific amount/type of sugar. Well, if that does it, then that does it! Good luck to you and keep us posted! :)

  174. Jj says:

    @Afri: There have been great experiences/opinions/options offered and the gist of it is go to the meet and enjoy yourself and your Pot, but loose the ‘tude!!!! It is like any other encounter with an unknown individual, you want to be personable and put your best forward. Remember this is to find out about one another and you definitely do not want to display an attitude. All things are negotiable in an arrangement and you will surely gain more with honey than with vinegar.

  175. gentle(man)soul says:

    @ Elaine

    ” So maybe if you treat this in a very transactional way only, you will also be treated in a transactional way in return…..”

    Beautifully said Darling !

  176. Zack says:

    So many questions…get the meet already…you’re starting to spin, lol. His expectations might be newbieish, too…be gentle 😛

    Keep in mind, this is just one pot.

  177. Elaine says:

    sorry, submitted before I finished typing….

    “dreamt of, or ever would have dared to ask .” I was to say.

    So maybe if you treat this in a very transactional way only, you will also be treated in a transactional way in return…..

  178. Elaine says:

    Gosh….Am I happy I am not an SD!
    I would really feel like an cash machine, this al sounds sooo transactional to me!
    Yes this is Seeking Arrangement, in my opinion not SeekingCash Machine….

    I have always followed my guts feeling. Travelled to go and meet the Pot.
    Had sex on first dates and never asked for money or allowance.

    Do I sound naive?
    Yes, probably!

    Do I have bad experiences?
    Not really!

    Point is, I meet few guys, …..but the right ones! :-)

    Since in my case it is mostly long distance, there is a lalways a lot of contact, skype, email etc. upfront. So if it comes to meet we have build already confidence.
    And I meet only if I am attracted to that Pot, and my gutfeeling is alright.

    So worst thing that could happen is having travelled, having sex, and than he poofs without giving me anything….. This indeed happened once, but since he was very attractive and we had a great night, should I really consider this a “loss” on the balance? Not really, I would have liked to have sex with him IRL anyway.

    What happened to the rest?
    They have spend and given me amounts, I would never ever

  179. Afri says:

    gentle(man)soul

    Im not going to go to him demanding it obviously lol, im going to go have a good time if he agrees cool if not ill leave…

  180. Afri says:

    @Jj

    I digress….yes yes I just didnt like that snide comment, didnt feel it necessary and voiced it but I agree with the latter of her advice which i should have expressed instead of focusing on the negative. I shouldnt lead with a ridiculous amount..it doesnt come off right.

    at the same time though my problem is…yea you guys make a good point and I agree and will do that but its like why the hell can he then go and expect sex? Like asap? He doesnt have to worry about being taken the wrong way but I do. I thought this whole thing was about honesty on both parts but I have to with hold what I want in order to not be taken the wrong way?

  181. gentle(man)soul says:

    @Afri

    ” My thing is I dont think $200 is worth it.”

    You are entitled —-to choose how you evaluate your own worth . Good luck with that . If you can get $450 + /POP good for you .
    Anger and haughtiness never comes across well with anyone ,especially with us delicate natured SDs

  182. KatPaw says:

    @ Eloquence Thank you sweetie. Im trying to keep trying to think of the positive!!

  183. Jj says:

    @Afri: If seeking input from people on the blog, it is not to your benefit to “shoot the messenger”! Take it for what it is worth, evaluate, accept, modify, or reject; but it does not alter one’s perception of your input as portrayed here. As a SD, I have to agree with @Upbeat if that is how you were to come across in a MnG, especially the initial meet; ie Bye, bye!! Just say’n! :)

  184. Afri says:

    DarkHorseSD

    my process is what I would personally want…Im on here to really use you guys as a sounding board to see if that what is the norm…or if the amount im saying is not usual or if it is.

    From what i gather..I need to meet him discuss it if he pays me for meeting cool but establish what I want moving forward. I just dont want to meet him and look crazy thats all.

    Im sort of new, I met someone before and he just would never speak about an arrangement even though he told me in our first of 3 dates he wanted something long term. It was like pulling teeth to just find out what the hell was on his mind about it so i ended things. So now I want to properly use the board and get real advice from people who know better lol

  185. Afri says:

    @gentle(man)soul
    hey that comment i posted was for you lol i wrote onyx by mistake

    thank you for your advice

  186. DarkHorseSD says:

    Afri: what process did you go through to evaluate and determine the numbers you are talking/thinking about?

  187. Afri says:

    @Zack ahhh no you’re absolutely right….I think that would be a better approach. I dont want to appear ridiculous and unreasonable. I think I will just meet him and go with that and then our next date can be the beginning. And determine if its even a long term thing..lol like I haven’t even established that, Im sitting here assuming..even though I dont want to waste my time i guess in some way you have to invest a tiny bit of it to give eachother a proper chance

    @Upbeat just because one person accepts lower than another doesnt mean its entitlement and even knowing what they have to offer isnt. 200 may be a million to one and change to another. I’m not wasting my time with anyone in this situation for a bullshit amount. If that were enough for you and what you need to do and for whatever value you put on your time more power to you…im not going to sit here and make silly remarks about you because you accept less(if you do)…its neither here nor there for me. This is my take on the situation im in. And i said I know what i said sounds horrible but fck it, that blonde hair blue eyes shit is boring to some people especially in my home town…its like youre a goddamn god if you look the slightest exotic..its crazy but its true here.

    Its like women are quick to judge and throw low blows if you dare think of yourself as worth more or at least acknowledge in this situation you can probably get a larger amount…

  188. UpbeatSB says:

    *Sniff sniff* I smell an “entitlement SB” on the blog. Hmm well to each their own, and best of luck. Listening to gut feelings and open communication with both parties is key on that first meet. I’d suggest keeping the attitude in check, but that’s just me…. *shrug* :)

  189. Zack says:

    @ EuKat: Sounds like she’s protecting her pride. 😛

    @ Afri: hard numbers can be softened. Consider his additional costs…yes, you’re worth it, but is he thinking about a long term relationship? If so, perhaps after the initial meet and greet costs, he might be comfortable with $500 per week but might balk at the idea of $500 plus expenses plus sugar, plus possibly escalating demands… There are better ways and worse ways to present numbers, and how you do so actually matters to a lot of SD’s. Heh…sorry if I took a simple matter and complicated it 😛

    //www.youtube.com/watch?v=FTQbiNvZqaY

  190. Zack says:

    @ EuKat: Sounds like she’s protecting her pride. 😛

    @ Afri: hard numbers can be softened. Consider his additional costs…yes, you’re worth it, but is he thinking about a long term relationship? If so, perhaps after the initial meet and greet costs, he might be comfortable with $500 per week but might balk at the idea of $500 plus expenses plus sugar, plus possibly escalating demands… There are better ways and worse ways to present numbers, and how you do so actually matters to a lot of SD’s. Heh…sorry if I took a simple matter and complicated it 😛

    youtube.com/watch?v=FTQbiNvZqaY

  191. afri says:

    How about something simple

    Before we meet I just want to know that you understand this is not Ashley Madison for guys or some service. I am looking for one special guy whose going to provide a real allowance. Unless that’s part of the arrangement we’re on the wrong page. Say it in a way that’s a true question as he may have believed you were aware of his willingness to pay before the discussion of specifics started .

  192. Eloquence says:

    @ Kat

    I have always marvelled at your meows and puurrrrrrs on the blog. I even spoke one yesterday (in the blog) thinking of you. Then of sweetie and sugaryspice pondering if the ladies of the abode were have a “spell” as my mother use to say by which she would always affirm by saying although “it will soon pass”.
    No sooner had her words come from her lips did I believe her because she was immovable with her message to me on her emphasis of soon with her smile behind her eyes of the trouble is now forgotten.
    For the life of me, I know not what you face. But vividly taste your cheer! :) for
    I’ve been hearing you as a lady young and fair purring in sheer delight for days :)

  193. Afri says:

    @onyx Im not necessarily expecting him to agree to an allowance, and if he does I know before it gets to that it will probably be p4p until he is comfortable giving me an allowance and I trust he will actually pay the allowance. My thing is I dont think $200 is worth it. Should we hit it off and I decide to do that the same night, it also has to be worth it for me and giving it up for 200 is a joke to me. The lowest I would go is $450 and if he doesnt agree then thats fine I will leave because I am not interested in a man who on top of getting what he wants, wants to also cheat me by not giving me what I want…..giving some subpar $200 I will literally spend in the blink of an eye. And I will be honest, I feel I have the upper hand because this guy would neverrr in his life get someone like me, just generally. lol he is supper excited about it and I feel if I walk away he will obviously find someone who will accept that amount but never the way I look. I know that sounds horrible but I am keenly aware of what I bring to the table….and I would go into detail but I would be so mortified if he read this lmao,…but its true.

    Yes I am in this for the money but not for no little bitty amount that isnt going to even fill my wallet you know? And 200 doesnt do that for me.

    thanks for the advice by the way youre great!

  194. gentle(man)soul says:

    @Afri

    ” I’m just not trying to waste my life going to meet him to find out he is trying to do a sleezy $200 per meeting NSA deal. ”

    How do you know ? All of my Sugar arrangements are PTP because my cash flow works better week to week . You will eliminate a lot of bona fide Daddies if you demand an allowance up front . You might have to kiss a few frogs to find that prince and if you don’t take a chance you will never know . Let’s say for the sake of argument that you meet a Pot you really like ,and you agree to go to the Hotel after a successful M&G for some sex play and he doesn’t call you back. Hopefully you had a fun time ,made a few bucks , and even though disappointed move on to the next Pot . Even if he promised an allowance before he can easily renege .What ? Are you going to sue him ? No guy in his right mind will give a SB a month’s allowance up front anyway .

  195. KatPaw says:

    Fingers crossed for me sugars, that my situation will all fall into place over the next couple of days! So many variables to go wrong but I’m hopeful it will all work out for the best! Meow. All will be good as long as I can get through with out a mental breakdown first! Lol
    This kitty can’t wait till she’s purring again!

  196. Afri says:

    @onyx yea I hear you. I’ll just grow a pair and bring it up lol and the fact that I have to stress about it is turning me way off

  197. onyx_percula says:

    @ Afri — In each contact you will have “deal breakers”. The things that simply prevent it from working out at all, never starts.

    IME its best to just get these out of the way pretty early on for two reasons… 1) one it takes time to communicate with a pot SB and while I enjoy communicating with a nice young woman, if in the end that’s all it ever will been we are wasting each other’s time and effort. 2) I don’t ever want another pot SB to cry because we didn’t have a good understanding of allowance and found a deal breaker.

  198. Afri says:

    @onyx. I am afraid to speak first on it. And I’m afraid that if I do as you said one of your SBs did and he hands me an envelope or whatever it could be just that…barely anything and I leave feeling cheated. But I will just suck it up and ask him before we meet. Lay it out. If he doesnt agree…cool at least there wouldn’t be time wasted.

  199. SD-Rob says:

    @ Onyx – that type of SB in my experience is very rare, very very rare. In fact, I have not come across any, although my first and also my current come closest but they still expect(ed) the $ we discussed as a matter of fact.

  200. onyx_percula says:

    @ Afri — It sounds very much like are afraid to saying something that will drive him away, dump you. That is a lack communications, just ask him right out, don’t beat around the bush.

    Also this is a negotiation of sorts, one where prices and values are not well known or are completely unknown. In situations like this the saying “He who names a price first loses”. As a buyer we want the best for the least, as the seller you want the most for the least. Now add in the touchy nature of some playing in sugar…

    So new(ish) SD tend to worry that they just offered much more than they needed to. New(ish) SBs are afraid if they go first they are leaving money on the table.

    One SB I was with had a rather unique twist on it… “Whatever you normally do is fine with me.”. But she is mostly in it for the companionship and sex. Our first P4P meeting she didn’t even look at the money, I could of handed her $20 in ones and she wouldn’t have known the difference at the time.

  201. Afri says:

    @flyR yea! ok phone confidentiality makes sense and I can give him the benefit of the doubt. I am new to this and all these damn blogs online are saying to go and meet first..yada yada. But I’m just not trying to waste my life going to meet him to find out he is trying to do a sleezy $200 per meeting NSA deal. You know just a ridiculously low amount which tells me he doesnt think much of this ordeal…like “getting a hooker is basically the same” kind of guy . but thanks for that I think I will just be straight up with him because in person if he offered me something I was highly disappointed with I would not be very nice…so I’ll do that lol god this sd thing is annoying like why cant it be easier! Why would you talk about sex and all that other stuff and not even think you would have to reassure the woman of your intentions financially . Its like they want to live in their own illusion. crazy

  202. flyR says:

    @AFri

    I can only speak from the other side of the world but a couple comments.

    I don’t find the phone confidentiality particularly strange. It probably indicates that he is not using a throwaway number for SA. I would be in deep trouble if I had to change my cellphone number.

    I would call the first meeting an interview not a date. Personally I would not go without some acknowledgement that there’s an allowance involved and would prefer that there was a range open .

    Good luck but there are some red flags waving.

  203. Afri says:

    @DarkHorseSD – i gave him my number just saying it would be easier to text because I dont check my email as often as I do my text

    onyx_percula – I understand what you mean…but thing is, we aren’t that much different in age. I usually date men 10 years older than me…he is 37, I’m 26. Ive just never run into this in regular dating. also he keeps talking about is wants from the arrangement but has yet to speak of the benefit on my end. I’m waiting until we meet to bring it up but I find it annoying that men can be so vocal and forthcoming with what they want in a situation such as this and yet doesnt even bother mentioning the money aspect. its a bit selfish. I kind of dont want to waste my time meeting if this isnt established but I know in person it is better

  204. MissBabyJ says:

    @onyx_percula – Yes, I’ve just sent the 2nd guy a “sorry that your fingers fell off” message. And that will be it.

  205. onyx_percula says:

    @ MissBabyJ — Hmmm I’m in the same boat currently. My rule of thumb… (3) messages, email, txt, site and nothing, write them off.

    @ Afri — It’s likely a generational thing. Most guys SD age are from a generation where you protected your number. He likely just isn’t on the same level as you when it comes to giving someone your number. I wouldn’t read too much into it, but as always go with your gut.

  206. DarkHorseSD says:

    So what did you give him?

  207. Afri says:

    Sorry for the typos guys lmao

  208. Afri says:

    I kno this has nothing to do with the blog but I’m a guy aptehensive about meeting my new SD or potential SD. We’ve been emailing for a few days and it seems like we have a lot of chemistry. We’ve set up a date for this Friday. I’m having a problem checking my emails so if it’s okay if we exchange numbers and send them my number his response was “no I’d rather keep it to email until we meet”. I find that a little peculiar and a little shady. Does this situation sound a little unsafe to you guys? When we meet what am I supposed to email him when I get to the bar? Extreme I just found this a little ridiculous and suspicious. Thoughts?

  209. MissBabyJ says:

    @DarkHorseSD – that’s what I had been doing throughout the exchange of messages. The “hope you are well” came after 2 days of him being MIA and was meant to give him a gentle online elbow in the gut.

  210. DarkHorseSD says:

    What’s a fellow to do with “hope all is well.” ?

    Give him something to interest him.

  211. gtt_envy says:

    Blog is alive and well I see……had a chill first meet last night 2-3hrs and again tonight a overnighter yummy!!

  212. MissBabyJ says:

    Hi again,
    Well, over the past few days I’ve been talking to a couple of POTs. Everything was going pretty well, when all of a sudden, their fingers fell off! All 20 of them!!
    I sent a quick “hope all is well” message to one of them, which he read, but no reply. Grrrrr! I’m suffering from empty inbox syndrome too, so double grrrrr!

  213. Eloquence says:

    Even if I was to perceive or know I was not the only one, I certainly would ensure I was the favorite! It goes both ways. Puurrrrrr

  214. onyx_percula says:

    The GF gave a very humble but highly detailed shopping and event planning list, lol. The SB hasn’t been in touch, likely headed out of the sugar bowl… The pot SB in FL has asked for nothing but to see me, she will get that and some naughty toys and nice flowers.

  215. Newbie Needs Help says:

    Anything younger and hotter than that usaully turns out to be fake, cheap, looking for an escort, or if you are “so” lucky and he’s as hot as the model looking picture than, TRUST that you’re not or will ever be his only SB.”
    sooooooooooo trueeeeeee

    @Rob yeah that would totally be sweet but don’t make it too mushy

  216. Eloquence says:

    @ Rob

    Regarding flowers to your SB.

    Many a man might write off the fact that it is not a dire need to celebrate such a day to the woman in question (or women) and on such a day, IMHO, is when each woman sums the man up. No flowers is equivalent to him using charitable words to cover the real characters of himself.
    Yes, send the flowers elaborately to bestow upon the woman’s spirit the air and carriage for a queen to covet. There is no sensation I know of as equal to that of the moment(s) where a man turns a lady’s mindset to a minx and he himself intimately becomes her erotic audience of affections.
    Yes, women want a rhyming couplet out of mythology before we are content at times. The same way men expect to confidently saddle their mare of choice with ease. Bring to life within her that which you want to see bloom.

  217. flyR says:

    Sugar Gifts
    Small, thoughtful gifts by both are always good

  218. SD-Rob says:

    @ Ash- Yes, I do understand. It is interesting that you mention the sexual frustration , I guess you mean in between meetings?
    I think the major difference in a sugar relationship, if it is exclusive, is the frequency of the meetings. In a traditional normal relationship, the couple are together almost all the time. While that can lead to constant sexual activity which may be a plus (assuming they are compatible in that area), it also involves the feeling of being owned, trapped, and as you mention jealousy due to say insecurity on the guys part or inconsideration on the woman’s part if she is overly flirtatious.
    In sugar, since the couple does not see each other often, sometimes due to the distance involved more than anything else, or terms of the arrangement, the couple is looking forward to the meeting and there is an inherent trust between them, and the freedom of being able to do what each one wants without feeling that they have to be with the other all the time.
    In fact , in a normal relationship, if couples behaved liked sugar couples, the chances of a successful relationship would perhaps be higher. The same goes with marriage, where I can tell you from first hand experience, one may feel so trapped beyond rescue, and with what one finds after some time is the wrong partner!
    If the sugar relationship is not exclusive, then it is whole different ball game IMO. More like an open normal relationship, which some actually prefer exactly due to the same reasons in a multiple sugar relationship.

  219. Ash says:

    @ROB

    No I don’t date while I have an Sd. With that,I get sexually frustrated so it’s nice to have a healthy sexual relationship with my SD without hand cuffs of a real relationship when it comes to things like; calling everyday, the “what are you doing text” every hour. Along with the I saw you hanging out with some man at work are you cheating type of situations. Yes it is a relationship but not in the traditional since where it’s so emotional, you know. I hope I explained that correctly..

  220. KatPaw says:

    @ SD-Rob that’s sweet if you wish to surprise her with a gift then do so!

  221. UpbeatSB says:

    SD-Rob, in the sugar-world, I don’t think most SB’s would mind ANY excuse to be given a gift from their SD; so I say, sure! Go for it! 😀

  222. SD-rob says:

    @All – maybe a couple of weeks early, but what does everyone think of a valentine’s gift for a SB? Is that appropriate ? After about one month of being together? Trying to plan ahead

  223. SD-rob says:

    @Southern- wow , you described me !! except my SB usually dont want advanced physics read to them although i could!
    @Ash- sugar relationship is real !! quite real
    just wondering since you say you don’t have time for a normal relationship do you consider dating while in an arrangement ?

  224. MSugar says:

    If we’re discussing our dream sugar daddy, I’ll go with Christian Bale based solely on looks. Not familiar with his personality. Lol.

    In terms of real life, attractive, young sugar daddy’s, I don’t think such a man exists. Like someone has said, those type of men want an escort, maybe a girlfriend or someone to date, but not spoil.

  225. Ash says:

    @AFRI
    “He is perfect! Too bad in actuality the SDs in my area are old, out of shape and cheap…..its just too much to ask for lol”

    LMAO.

    @Vixen

    “Beckham is a beautiful man, no question about it. But would I really want him as my SD? I would say maybe, only If we are going purely on the perceived notion that these celebrities personalities are similar to the fictional characters that they play. Personally, I would pick Richard Gere in Pretty Woman… I totally would have taken him up on his last offer lol. Obviously this site is in favor of men having the ability to focus on the physicality of women, and I applaud the blogger for directing focus on a mans physique for once. But the truth and reality is …Beckhams are few and far between. To ask a SD to live up to him would be asking us to consider a revision of our images into Heidi, Trya and BÜndchen. To be honest i would rather my SD to aspire to be the best of his true self. Anything beyond that is a farce, as it ultimately takes pieces of the real you and produces a self-loathing carbon copy.”

    I totallly agree with that statement.

    @Elaine

    Lol true, I understand:)

    @REPLYING TO THIS TOPIC

    First, Looking around I’ve noticed this sight is made out of 40% Charlie Sheen’s & Gerard Butler’s, 10% John Stamos’ & Idris Elba’s, 20% Hugh Hef’s 20% Seth Rogen’s and 10% Harrison Ford’s when talking about age and looks. Anything younger and hotter than that usaully turns out to be fake, cheap, looking for an escort, or if you are “so” lucky and he’s as hot as the model looking picture than, TRUST that you’re not or will ever be his only SB.

    For me, I’m attracted to older men. It’s just something about them that I really like, most are so past the games. They’re just upfront and okay in their own skin, take or leave it, no fighting no arguments, just, here I am. That’s part of why I’m on this site. With my life right now I don’t have time for a real relationship so meeting an orlder wiser man who WANTS to take care of me while for 1) not trying to own me 2) play jealous games 3) who is completely broke and has no idea what he wants in life… is actually ideal.

    So hey if he has a nice personality, he’s smooth, and confident in just being him and he really just wants a simple girl to hangout with laugh talk and have an great intimate relationship or companion ship with I’ll even take a Harrison Ford. What that post hit on the nail however is confidence. A man who isn’t they greatest looking but has confidence can actually be a really sexy man. I think all the men I listed a handsome in their own way.

  226. SouthernSB says:

    Wow, I had to take a de Grasse Tyson break. I think I need a SD who will tie me up and read an Advanced Physics book to me.

  227. DarkHorseSD says:

    If SA is interested in having SDs like Beckham, it has to completely reinvent itself.

  228. Jj says:

    Hummm? My ideal SB is “Krissy”, for if we were not ‘ideal’ for one another, we most likely would not be together!!! Just say’n! :)

  229. Elaine says:

    @ Ash

    Sorry, completely off topic, but my answer on Ash’ question in former blog subject:
    “Would you say you’re an experienced SB or at least know the ropes and pros and cons?”

    Well, the answer is both yes and no.
    In my niche, ” Succesful Businessman Seeks L.T. Mistress 40+ “, yes I think I am experienced and know the ropes and pros and cons. Does this mean I have not made mistakes? Sure I did! But I have learned from them and hope to be able to handle things better now.

    Would you place me in LA, in the middle of a crowd of 20 something, steaming hot, blonde beachbabe/model/student SB’s,all competing for the local, available SD’s?
    No, in that case I would be completely lost, and would act like an absolute beginner, the way I am used to handle things would cause me a lot of problems and I am sure I would never make a succesful SB!

    So, as I said before it’s like 2 different universes excisting next to each other, under the same SA umbrella! :-)

  230. DarkHorseSD says:

    SA clearly has Beckham envy.

  231. gentle(man)soul says:

    @Beckham

    I’m not whining or envious , but this blog topic is just an excuse for the blog girls to fantasize about their ideal Daddy. Let’s all get that over with and get back to the topics at hand .

    Rachel McAdams is my ideal SB . OK ,enough said

  232. Newbie Needs Help says:

    He is totally amazing and not to shabby as a partner with such a long-lived marriage… but all the girls swooning over him would be too much of a headache

  233. Zack says:

    Or maybe his voice. If you’re assembling the best bits for a brain, pick elements for Hawking and Branson…oh yeah, maybe a good SD there, hmm. I need more money. And a earth to orbit system under my ownership.

  234. SouthernSB says:

    I’m more a Sean Connery woman myself, Robert De Niro does it for me too, and I am totally turned on by Neil deGrasse Tyson’s brain.

  235. Zack says:

    oh, interesting twist on blog topic…we can identify desirable SD traits in fictional movie characters. I’m glad Bond hasn’t come up yet…not SD material? Anyone seen “A Boy and his Dog?”
    //www.youtube.com/watch?v=gu9fESAlGc4

  236. Jj says:

    SW Florida!! 72 lifting fog toward a beautiful day in paradise of 79!! :)

  237. SD-Dazed says:

    @Mellisa – Michigan,, you talk about cold,,wow !

  238. Mellisa says:

    I would pick Clive Owen over Beckam anytime…or Liam Nessom or John Corbett, Russel Crowe an mmmm Gerard Burtler:-)
    older famous guys will always win me over, they have more experience, style and charm than the younger ones. Just MHO.

  239. Mellisa says:

    I would pick Clive Owen over Beckam anytime…or Liam Nessom or John Corbett, Russel Crowe an mmmm Gerard Burtler:-)
    older famous guys will always win me over, they have more experience, style and charm than the younger ones. Just MHO.

  240. Vixen says:

    Beckham is a beautiful man, no question about it. But would I really want him as my SD? I would say maybe, only If we are going purely on the perceived notion that these celebrities personalities are similar to the fictional characters that they play. Personally, I would pick Richard Gere in Pretty Woman… I totally would have taken him up on his last offer lol. Obviously this site is in favor of men having the ability to focus on the physicality of women, and I applaud the blogger for directing focus on a mans physique for once. But the truth and reality is …Beckhams are few and far between. To ask a SD to live up to him would be asking us to consider a revision of our images into Heidi, Trya and BÜndchen. To be honest i would rather my SD to aspire to be the best of his true self. Anything beyond that is a farce, as it ultimately takes pieces of the real you and produces a self-loathing carbon copy.

  241. BlackDoll says:

    That’s nice to daydream about until real life hits you.

  242. Afri says:

    He is perfect! Too bad in actuality the SDs in my area are old, out of shape and cheap…..its just too much to ask for lol

  243. Mellisa says:

    Homer,lol! That was a good one. You can’t even begin to imagine what this cold is doing to me….I’m in hibernation mode.

    @Zack- Ohio

  244. Zack says:

    …Not the 1…lol

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