4 years ago
A Beginner’s Guide to Sugar
  • Posted Jan 21, 2014

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With so many new sugar seekers joining SeekingArrangement, there are more Sugar Daddies to choose from than ever before. The selection of Sugar Babies has also increased dramatically, establishing a wave of inexperienced newcomers. The sugar culture can be confusing, so we’ve devised this Beginner’s Guide to answer all the plaguing questions for amateur Sugar Babies.

Why Sugar?

The benefits of sugar are boundless. From paying for college, to finding a mentor, and even falling in love, this lifestyle is not for everyone. The endless sugar debate and common misconceptions can instill some doubt in sugar seekers. Once you get over the initial “Should I really be doing this?” feeling, sugar will surprise you. Between forming life-long bonds and traveling alongside dapper gents, the perks of sugar far outweigh the objections from skeptics.

Sugar Objective

Even with mutually beneficial dating, each relationship is unique. Before you scope the profile scene, decide what you’re looking for in an arrangement. There are a few main types of Sugar Daddies, and ultimately you want to feel satisfied with the one you find. Decide your intentions. Do you want friendship and networking? Are you seeking mature romance? Once you set your route to sugar, abide by the standard code of conduct.

Creating Your Profile

Before they ever decide to message you, eligible Sugar Daddies from around the world will be skimming your profile like a personal ad. Chances are, they don’t have time to read something long, so make it short and significant. You’ll need to screen a potential Sugar Daddy soon, so make sure he likes what he reads while screening you. Make the expectations you’ve set clear on your profile.

Picking Pics

As for pictures, it’s in your best interest to remain (mostly) clothed. Perhaps private photos will show off your bikini bod, but only deserving potentials should be granted access to those. Keeping your pictures up to date is also essential. Include multiple angles and full body pictures so there are no surprises in person. Also, avoid group photos so its not a guessing game.

The Sugar Search

Meeting a potential Sugar Daddy is not as easy as click, print, ship. Weeding through profiles and searching for sincerity can be time consuming, so patience is vital. Time is of the essence, so be sure to consistently check your account and respond to messages promptly. If you don’t want get stuck with a bad apple daddy, show him you’re serious. Avoid messaging blunders and save negotiating for later in your conversations. Make your expectations realistic without settling for less than you deserve.

Meeting Daddy

Online dating is weird: the anonymity, the awkwardness, the anxiety. Your safety and comfort are important, and there are many dos and don’ts of sugar. Be on time, and never give it up on the first date. Understand the type of intimacy your Sugar Daddy wants, but don’t breach your morals. Sugar dating is just like any other dating. Sex should be aspired to, but never required. Both of you will have assumptions, so make sure it’s mutually and equally beneficial.

Sustainable Sugar

After you’ve met a few Sugar Daddies, etiquette and procedure will come naturally. Continuing a sugar relationship can turn into a meaningful mentorship. Once you’re comfortable, you can upgrade your sugar by renegotiating. Whether it’s a long term arrangement or a weekend fling, one thing is certain: the sugar craving is here to stay.

What tips would you give a newbie Sugar Baby?

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326 Responses to “A Beginner’s Guide to Sugar”

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  2. I’m new to SA. I’ve had my account for a few days now and I’ve talked with a few sugar daddy potentials. Things seem to be going swimmingly, they offer a starting allowance that I agree to, which all seems great! But there are some red flags and since I’m new to the scene I’m not sure how to interpret them. First, they always seem to be out of the country on business and will return in a few weeks or months. Secondly, they always want to know who I Bank with so that they can make a direct deposit, and seem to refuse any other method. It’s this normal or safe? Or am I dealing with scammers? Please help!

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  9. Betsy says:

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  10. P says:

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    • Anonymous says:

      there is a daily limit to prevent spam. If you email SA, they will lift it if you aren’t spamming or blindly copy, paste and email

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  29. anonymous says:

    I am quite confused I’m considered attractive ,hot ,sexy .pretty by most men and woman in not trying to sound conceited I’m trying to see if anyone has encountered this strange situation si have sent multiple pics to potential sugar daddies and 9 out of 10 times things work well I have a nice personality and I have even met men I don’t find attractive and not said anything mean .However I met this quite angry bitter divorced man who I’m really wondering what is up. I simply asked if we could go to a low key spot so I would not run into anyone I didn’t see this as offensive or rude but I got s vibe I offended the guy and mind you he had gotten about 20 pics of me then after hanging for s few he told me I look nothing like my pics I have never heard this from anyone and I’m gonna be honest to each his own I am not saying everyone must like me but I found it very odd that only one person of the many I met and the least attractive one told me I don’t look like my pics and this don’t work .Anyone ever encounter this or have a idea why I met many attractive men set younger and never one person said suck a thing .Im puzzled does anyone have any Insight my pics were recent and as I said never had s complaint I’ve done modeling in past I am puzzled Woulfd a guy say this because he felt I wasn’t attractied to him to be spiteful I am
    so puzzled. The kicker is he was a miserable u in attractive grumpy guy so I just wanted to see if anyone else had this haippen? It was just soon weird like I said I find it hard to believe only one person would make such a comment Thst is all it happened after I asked to go someplace we would not be seen and I did not intend to seem mean at all ok thank you

    • Dani says:

      OMG !! I saw this post and just had to reply and I swear the exact sane rhing happened to me and I felt the same way .I think it’s the bitter jaded guy with major issues who took the low key spot comment the wrong way is all I can say ,I could have written this post and your not bain it’s a very strange encounter and I tbink that’s what it was not you .I think some people simply have issues wanting to go somewhere discreet doesn’t mean you were trying to hide him just as you said not run into anyone you know since it would be awkward .I just don’t mean to laugh at this but it’s crazy the weird types of people online Ok hope this helps

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  38. Jade says:

    Hey guys! I’m thinking about trying this whole sugar dating thing out. I’m actually a little young for this, but I’m mentally mature enough to converse and connect with people older than I am. My concern is about the sexual aspect of a relationship like this. I’m serious about not being sexually active until I’m married (not because of religion or anything like that. It just feels best for me). I’ve had long-term relationships before, but I feel like when money is involved, sex will automatically be demanded. I’m fun, easy to talk to, genuine, and very attractive (according to most people I’ve met lol) but I don’t know if that would be enough to satisfy a legitimate SD. I’m really interested in getting to know a real gentleman on a very deep level, then MAYBE having a real boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. Of course getting nice gifts/money is a plus, but it’s definitely not my main objective. How do I let my stance on sex be understood without sounding like some in-genuine shallow person looking for a one-sided relationship? Any SD’s here care to share their thoughts on how you’d respond to a girl like me? Am I being unrealistic about this?

  39. JohnniexIx says:

    I’m a gay male sugar baby and most gay SD’s want more of an escort…my first trip was a crazy. I flew out to California for three and a half weeks. I rode everywhere in a limo, and he took me to Disneyland! But after promising a relationship…he started to just treat me like an escort, and not like a boyfriend. Hell, if I would have known the deal, I would have got a lot more out of that!) Because at that point I didn’t sleep with him until after the first 2 weeks. Some guys are gentleman, and will always be a friend, some are sleaze bag millionaires or business men. Others are great mentors, kind and true. I can’t wait to see where my current SD adventure is taking me! I’m meeting with a guy Friday night for dinner, then going back to the hotel (I don’t believe in giving it up on the first date, but I’m not prude. You can bring down the house other ways if your resilient). After that were heading to DC from Saturday to Monday morning…wish me luck!

  40. kay says:

    I’ve been on the site,reading the blog,and looking through everyones advice . I feel like I have followed a lot of the tips and tricks but have yet to receive any messages and wonder what I might need to change. I enjoy the website and the community provided through the Sugar Bowl. If anyone could help me I’d really appreciate it.
    I have found a couple sd ‘s outside of the site but am no longer involved with them. How can I get a better flow of messages and pot sd to look my way. I have no trouble with men usually and am hit on often when I go out, but for some reason I haven’t beeen able to get a hang of the website.
    Can’t wait to get some great advice and rev up my profile!
    -Kay

  41. Jj says:

    @MSugar: There is a new blog post up, but I will re-post your’s here for followup. :)

    “I’m new also new in the bowl, but I’ve been reading this blog since November. I’ve been talking to a man who is amazing and the real deal in the sense he has money and seems quite normal.

    I’m 20, and I want something long-term despite someone on here saying that’s rare. I think this guy wants more of a girlfriend. I’m kind of open to it, but I still need financial help too. We haven’t agreed on an allowance yet, justbut he’s flying here this weekend so we probably will then.

    My question is, would it be wise to treat this like a relationship and continue to find a SD? That sounds bad, but…yeah. Lol. Thanks for the advice! ”

    As for the relationship; until you know for sure it should be considered as a POT SD and continue to look for other POTs as well. Also, nothing say a BF in a real relationship cannot or should not help you out!!!!

  42. MSugar says:

    And I asked a question not too far up, but I think it got overlooked due to it needing to be approved by the moderators. I’d love some feedback and advice on the situation! Thanks.

  43. MSugar says:

    @Melissa I’m from the Midwest and a SB.

  44. Ash says:

    @ROB

    Thanks Rob that makes total sense!

  45. flyr says:

    Sunny California where we actually have an excess of sunshine and heat this winter . Bring sunscreen and water.

  46. flyr says:

    @Melissa (definition of slim)

    It is also target market driven (in addition to your physical condition)

    Under 30 SD slim probably means very slim

    As others noted there’s so much more. A strong swimmer will have a lot more shoulder and upper body development

    1 picture is worth 1,000 words

    Unless someone is searching for skinny I think its better to lean towards a more conservative description

  47. Jj says:

    @Mellisa: Midwest; bred, born and raised! SW Florida frolic!!!! :)

  48. SD-Dazed says:

    @ Mellisa,, yes, I live in the Mid-West

  49. SouthernSB says:

    Zack-funny!!! : )

  50. Zack says:

    I think local non-migratory birds are taking refuge in my freezer, snuggled up to the frozen chicken, thinking…”What?”

  51. Homer says:

    THE Midwest where it’s so cold my testes are trying to swim back into by abdomen like salmon

  52. Zack says:

    Midwest what? 😛

  53. Mellisa says:

    Are there and SB’s and SD’s on the blog from Midwest? Just curious

  54. Mellisa says:

    @DH, I asked because I have no clue what average means here in the US from a more diaspora tic perspective. I was browsing through similar profiles and realized many overweight people use average to mean average like NC gent mentioned…..And others looked very slim to me and put average…..I think I should just put my height and weight on my profile.

    @Eleine & NC Gent, I’m 27. No insecurities just genuinely clueless:-)
    @Homer- did the demo with the skinny jeans, no muffin. Lol!
    @Everyone- thank! thank you! for your responses.

  55. flyr says:

    I would feel funny about handing money over in the restaurant . My vote would be if it is a hotel before much comes off A little more relaxed if the SD has invited you to his castle.

  56. SD-Rob says:

    @ Ash- I have never given any money before we ended up at my place, with one exception , which is my current one. I think the SD should take you on a nice date, spend reasonable $ on you, connection should be there as if there was no $ involved, and then you guys end up back where you can be intimate and at that point, the SD should give you the sugar, maybe first time in a nice envelope with your name clearly on it, like I have done (this makes it easier not to break away from the action which should be hot and heavy by now), or slip it into your purse making sure you see it if there is an opportunity to break away before the real action starts :) After the first time, I always put the money in her purse, or just hand it over saying here is your spending money sweetheart as if I was handing it to my wife or girlfriend and they have all loved it , including my current babe.
    Overall, sort of like Flyr says, there are lots of signals as to whether he is ready to dish out the agreed upon $. Being jaded from previous SB should be NO excuse.

  57. Ash says:

    @Elaine

    Would you say you’re an experienced SB or at least know the ropes and pros and cons?

  58. Ash says:

    Thanks guys.

    I don’t want him to feel like I’ll leave right after he gives it to me. I don’t think I would give off that type of vibe either but I guess there are some good actresses out there. I also think going to the room then asking would kind of make the mood a little awkward and sour, maybe, Idk how sdROB felt when she asked during the moment but SDROB also seems to be pretty up frontand smooth with everything which is awesome on his part as an SD.

    With that being said I think I’m just going to bring up the subject of “So how did you go about giving you last SB money. Was it an envelope thing or…” and let him finish. We talked about the amount but we haven’t spoken about how it was given so hopefully that works lol for any SB’s who were wondering the same thing like @Newbie Needs Help:)

  59. Homer says:

    @Newbie–The first time is nervous for both SD and SB. A SD will be worried that after he slips her the envelope, she’ll excuse herself to go freshen up at the restaurant and never return. There’s gotta be a leap of faith from someone. If you’ve met at least a couple of times first, that’s some indication he’s not looking to “hit it and quit it”. If neither side is willing to risk it, ask for half up front and explain the hesitation. After the first meet, it should be smooth sailing.

    As for weight, nobody is judging. Slim is not better than average or a few extra pounds. Just depends on what you are into, but if you want slim, but she turns out to be more average than you like that can be disappointing. Listing real height and weight or a pic like others have said is the best way.

  60. Elaine says:

    @ Ash, I think you are right about (NOT) handing over email adresses by blog gods, so that’s why I publiced a gmail adress here for those who wanted to contact me.

    Much faster 😉

    @ NC Gent, I think your guess was right, if she was 40+ she wouldn’t be insecure about it, she would’t have asked, she would simply have known …. 😉

  61. Newbie Needs Help says:

    I second this thought:

    “We actually already talked about the arrangement, what I get and what he gets. Sorry if I worded that part wrong, but like SDROB said (how he left it on the hotel table) I was wondering, if he hasn’t given me the allowance as of yet and it’s the end of dinner and we want to move forward, then at that point what is the right thing to ask? I wanted to do it before we even arrived at the hotel so when becoming intimate I’m already satisfied and that’s not on my mind or anything…?”
    any ideas?

    Also judging someone too hard on their weight is not fair, some of us work out too hard and gain weight while loosing inches.

  62. NC Gent says:

    Darkhorse — she said she is 5’6″ and 130 pounds .. I think that is in between slim and average, so that is why she is asking. I am guessing she is under 30, because if she was 40+ there would be no hesitation to put slim from my perusal of profiles.

  63. DarkHorseSD says:

    Slim or Average?

    If you have to ask, you are Average.

    But you will put down Slim.

  64. flyr says:

    As a lot of posts have indicated, the hardest part often seems to be from deciding you are ok with each other to consummation of the relationship. There’s no right or wrong.

    “”The worst case scenario for you is that you have sex with him and get nothing in return . If you are OK with that then go for it . Hopefully he will have given you a nice ride . “”

    My only disagreement with the above is that you may have sacrificed the opportunity to have a stable sugar relationship. The opposite argument is that he will be impressed with your show of trust and will reciprocate.

    newbie recommendation

    confirm that he is interested in a sugar relationship BEFORE meeting and that he’s read and thought about what you have to say.

    discuss expectations – frequency , any special expectations etc make sure both are ok .

    Now’s the time to snuggle close in the restaurant booth and work your charms while negotiating the final deal – of course making it seem very natural. How is left up to your imagination……. Lust has brought down more nations than nuclear weapons. Yes I have been “victimized”.

    Once you have an agreement you are ready to let the fun begin. Money up front, my theory is if you are worried you probably are with the wrong man and if in the worst case you are stiffed you may have learned a lesson about the person. But don’t play until you have an agreement.

    A true gentleman will have deposited the amount into a pocket of your coat etc while you were freshening up. I have always thought half a month was appropriate but in today’s world it seems that most are starting with a p4p and I have had a number of offers for demo rides.

    Personally i find the envelope on the dresser a little too professional . However, the important thing is that the sb does not have to ask for it. I think a professional gesture is to simply mention that I took the liberty of leaving a present in ……….

    If the offered amount is less than but close to the amount you want you might want to have him agree that at the end of the first month you will revisit the amount.

  65. gentle(man)soul says:

    @ Ash

    ” what is the right thing to ask? ”

    I didn’t answer your question.

    You ask —” John , I am so excited to get our arrangement started While you slip my very first sugar deposit in my coat pocket I am going to the ladies room to freshen up ,then lets go get that Hotel room .! “

  66. gentle(man)soul says:

    @ ASh

    “– if he hasn’t given me the allowance as of yet and it’s the end of dinner and we want to move forward, then at that point what is the right thing to ask? ”

    It is a little transactional if you want an envelope at the end of dinner before going to the Hotel but safest for you . He might be thinking you could flake with the money ,and you are thinking that he could bump and run on you . At some point there has to be trust somewhere . I have never prepaid but have never reneged on my Baby either . If she put her hand out at the table it would be off putting at first but I would get over it if we hit it off . Take a chance on him doing the right thing if your intuition is good about him . But take note of his license # in case he runs . I always leave the Sugar in my SB’s purse when she goes to the ladies room after we are together .

  67. DarkHorseSD says:

    Putting your height and weight in the profile can accomplish a lot too.

  68. Homer says:

    @Mellisa–I’m a bit more harsh about the slim/average criteria. Although I agree the Average has a broad range, mostly based on where you live, I think slim is still slim. Put it this way, if you put on your favorite skinny jeans and lift up your shirt, do you get a muffin top? If so, slim may be pushing it. I do agree when in doubt, a full body pic will say it all. A picture is worth a thousand words, right?

  69. Ash says:

    I also wish this site had a way for SB’s to connect. It would be great to have a gf who’s in this situation and feels comfortable with it like me to talk to about it and help each other.

    @Elaine

    I’m not sure if they actually share emails because they never gave me Rob’s on Onyx_P when asked…:/

  70. Ash says:

    Thanks guys!

    We actually already talked about the arrangement, what I get and what he gets. Sorry if I worded that part wrong, but like SDROB said (how he left it on the hotel table) I was wondering, if he hasn’t given me the allowance as of yet and it’s the end of dinner and we want to move forward, then at that point what is the right thing to ask? I wanted to do it before we even arrived at the hotel so when becoming intimate I’m already satisfied and that’s not on my mind or anything…?

    Thanks again for all of your help<3

  71. DarkHorseSD says:

    One of the things that can distinguish an arrangement relationship from escorting/prostitution is organic development.

    A small gift, perhaps, after a platonic date (a good date where money is spent.) Larger gift after an intimate date. If she comes back each time she’s legitimately interested. Eventually a weekly allowance.

    Needs and expectations can be discussed starting even before the first date, but fulfillment through developing a relationship distinguishes the SB or mistress and SD.

  72. gentle(man)soul says:

    @Ash

    ” he (Pot SD) felt used by his last SB and i don’t want him to feel that way with me. I actually really like him, so, any idea’s? ”

    NC Gent gave you good advice. When I meet a Pot SB without talking about allowance first I gift her my usual Sugar after the evening assuming we are intimate . Sometimes that is OK with her and sometimes not . The worst case scenario for you is that you have sex with him and get nothing in return . If you are OK with that then go for it . Hopefully he will have given you a nice ride .

    Feeling used for a SD is getting hit up for more money/treats beyond the agreed on Sugar ,or not keeping promises . Few things will send me running more than that . Most SDs want to feel special and on your radar as a priority . Making yourself available when he wants you , keeping in touch reasonably –such as texts/emails , and telling him how important he is to you .

    My advice is to discuss it before you go to the Bedroom . You might say ” I am really attracted to you —and would like to discuss an arrangement —perhaps starting tonight . How do you feel ? ” I would have already beaten you to the punch and said that same thing . You need to think about how to respond to his next question , ” What are your goals in an arrangement ? ” Do not say ” well, I’ve got a lot of tuition bills and rent ,and —(on and on ) ” . Be specific . ” I would like my tuition bill covered which is $ XYZ /month and could see you once/week . ” Good luck !

  73. SD-Rob says:

    @ Melissa – totally agree with NC Gent. I have been led astray in the worst possible way and cut off the relationship due to it. It is like telling a lie. A full body pic where the SD can tell what you look like is best . In fact, I usually ask for a bikini pic which should not be a problem if there is nothing to hide.

  74. SD-Rob says:

    @Ash- i agree with NC Gent. We are all adults here and being used by his previous SB is no excuse not to discuss and provide the sugar upfront. You should definitely broach the subject openly with him ahead of time unless you are OK with getting intimate and being left with nothing.
    One SB used this on me. When we were quite busy and getting hot and heavy back at my place, after having had a nice dinner and conversation, very organic, she whispered in my ear, “I want to see if you are for real now” hinting at the allowance. I told her it was on the table where I like to leave it, she jumped out of bed, checked it quickly and then she restarted our intimate moment by jumping my bones …!!

  75. NC Gent says:

    Ash — if you want to have sex with him, go ahead, but if you haven’t discussed an allowance, you can’t be upset if you don’t get one. If he told you that he felt used by his last SB, he may be playing your caring feelings. Tell him something like… I really enjoy spending time with you, but I joined this site because I really do need some help. Then provide a couple of examples of bills that you need help with so he has an idea of how much you are seeking. If he poofs, he never intended on providing you anything anyways.

  76. DarkHorseSD says:

    Is there a strategy that involves the SB communicating and demonstrating what there is to offer so the SD can put a number on it?

  77. NC Gent says:

    @Melissa — I would put your body type as “Slim” but you should include a full body picture (g-rated is fine). You can let the viewer decide. Unfortunately, many overweight people use average to mean average for Americans, which is about 20 pounds overweight. I posted before that any time I see athletic or average as a body type, and no full body picture, I assume they are overweight, based upon several meet and greets ughhhh Happy sugaring!

  78. Paula says:

    First time on here…WOW! anyone got the popcorn!! :)))

  79. MSugar says:

    I’m new also new in the bowl, but I’ve been reading this blog since November. I’ve been talking to a man who is amazing and the real deal in the sense he has money and seems quite normal.

    I’m 20, and I want something long-term despite someone on here saying that’s rare. I think this guy wants more of a girlfriend. I’m kind of open to it, but I still need financial help too. We haven’t agreed on an allowance yet, justbut he’s flying here this weekend so we probably will then.

    My question is, would it be wise to treat this like a relationship and continue to find a SD? That sounds bad, but…yeah. Lol. Thanks for the advice!

  80. Addingsugartotea says:

    IF…I get a second meet I will definitely ask him what he thinks is a fair / ideal arrangement and we can make adjustments from there.

  81. Zack says:

    Hoping he’ll pick up on it puts a lot on him. Let us know how the negotiations go? Better ways or worse ways…LoL

    If you get another meet, try talking about how much time he’d like, an overnight or dinner per week? Work in mention of “what you need from Sugar,” ie your mortgage and travel, so perhaps $x per week, deposit to checking.

    There are lots of other negotiations going on, too, but don’t leave the allowance and time undiscussed for long..they are important, need to fit, and help put other maters into perspective by reference. Keep flexibility if possible at first…and try to save some extra rather than just getting by…desperate sugar can turn sour.

  82. Ash says:

    I have a question….On a date with my possible SD, if things are going great and I think may actually want to go all the way but he hasn’t mentioned or given me my allowance yet, what’s the polite and non desperate way of hinting at it. You guys say no sex before getting your allowance and that’s what I want to stick to “our arrangement.” But, he felt used by his last SB and i don’t want him to feel that way with me. I actually really like him, so, any idea’s?

  83. flyR says:

    I the sugar world you need to be direct with your expectations.

    One approach – I know we are just getting to know one another and I appreciate your wanting to do so . I would like to talk about our mutual expectations . What do you see as an allowance range so I can understand if we are on the same page.

    The alternate strategy is put the discussion off a little bit, until you have had the chance to get him under your influence (no real sex allowed until the sugar is agreedupon and in your pocket. )

  84. Addingsugartotea says:

    I’m talking to him now. He said that he wasn’t offended and the guy was amusing to him in a crude way. But I was just asking questions to make sure I don’t do the same things the last girl did. He did say she seemed like a charity case. He also told me he wanted a long term non pay per play arrangement but I don’t know how to bring up the money situation. I am in the market for my first home and looking to go on vacation this year both of which he knows so I’m hoping he’ll pick up on this.

  85. flyR says:

    sugar2tea – trust your initial reaction- chances are if the guy gives you the creeps he is a creep. Too often we go against our intuitive gifts.

  86. flyR says:

    Sugar2tea

    He may have thought you were encouraging the restaurant owner and it was embarrassing to him. In a similar situation it’s not inappropriate for you to say something to the pot (especially if he picked the restaurant) like this guy the restaurant owner is really obnoxious would you mind talking to him.

    At the very least you have acknowledged the issue and put the issue in the hands of your pot. Part of the SD job description is Dragon Slayer.

    You might discuss this in your email to him. He may have thought you were encouraging the guy.

  87. Zack says:

    Flyr, a graceful suggestion, but if she doesn’t have a second meet after two weeks of wanting one, he’s backed out.

    Sugar, a lot of your questions are things you’ll figure out. You’ll come across as more relaxed and comfortable. Right now, your newness is probably showing as pushy or kinda scary smart…but challenging in some fashion. You’ll get over it I think. Have you figured out what you’re looking for in terms of long/short term and meets per week?

  88. Addingsugartotea says:

    Thank you Zack and flyr. I think I will continue to respond to him to gage if he’s interested. At the same time I don’t know about the restaurant owner. Something about him didn’t sit well with me. But I will keep my options open. I don’t understand what I did wrong except maybe I was too honest.

  89. Elaine says:

    @Richard & Zack

    Seems like the blog gods don’t want us to start a new website or even talking cars…..

    But hey, we don’t get encouraged that easy!

    elainesablog @gmail.com should do the trick 😉

  90. Ash says:

    @ROB

    Aw! That’s great, I’m also glad you found an SB. She’s a lucky girl because you seem like a great SD. I hope you make it to that month and more.

    For me I’m hoping he’s exactly how I think he is, friendly, goofy, and talkative. If he is then I would be so done looking lol. I hope it can last to the third or forth month but for right now I’ll just focus on the task ahead, the first meet which i not nervous. I’m not stuck on him being married like that, I not even going to mentally look into but good luck to us and any others in these positions.:)

  91. Euphoria retired sb says:

    Sounds like a re-run of former topics. I think ive been on this site for over 5 years and seen this topic appear about 10 times on the blogs.

  92. Ash says:

    @Flyr

    Oh! Thanks for clearing that up:)

    @Richard

    I “completely” agree about the grammar thing. Also, as a SB, I hate the fake photo’s as well. That’s why when I meet an SD and we move on to phone communication I need him to send me pics, recent ones or maybe if he’s comfortable, an in that moment pic.

    For example, if he’s about to go work out, shoot me a pic. I love doing that so it’s a plus when they do too. That’s when i know exactly what they look like.

    I aslo hate the pics (when it comes to SD’s) where they post a pic of themselves when they were younger and they look different then what your expecting. It’s like, put yourself out there as you, someone may just like you the way you are, or, if you have a good arrangement they may look past it…. In my opinion.

  93. SD-Rob says:

    @ Ash- I agree about the grammar comment (as Richard said too). Auto correct is one major issue usually and also in my case, I usually have very little time to post something here, so I type away, check quickly and hope everyone understand.
    @ Ash- Glad you have a good prospect. Hope all works out. The married part of it should not bother you. I am married and I am on SA and genuinely care for my SB (who I wish I could call my mistress). Let us know how it goes!
    On my end, I have not had any trouble finding SBs since I joined SA. In fact, having too many possibilities has been the issue. I have been with my current one for little over a month now, and thing is going great. I wish she would text and contact me a bit more when we are not together, but I know she is busy with school and other social stuff, and she is slow on text (did not grow up on in that era). Also, I do not text until she responds to the previous one. So, it is almost like a game between us.
    We have decided to be exclusive so have turned off our profiles, but I am not sure what else goes on in her life exactly of course, never sure, since we live in two different cities, although she almost daily tells me what she is doing that is interesting, and again I think she is too busy to have time for others, and also not that type looks like it, but ignorance can be bliss, I have on my part received winks, emails, and texts from a number of others that I had contacted previously or had contacted me, and I have been ignoring them, or letting them know that I am focusing on one now (they all appreciate the honesty!). Also, got hit on on my trips on the airplane and do not pursue by asking for phone numbers, etc. So, being true to the deal on my end!
    I think SD Guru says that if the arrangement does not go into its 3rd or 4th month then it is not an arrangement really, so I have a couple of months to go!

  94. Mellisa says:

    Hallo good people:-) quick question regarding my profile. I’m 5″6 and a half, and weigh 130 pounds. Should I put slim as my body type or average?

  95. Richard says:

    In my opinion, it’s not really fair to judge the grammar of anyone posting on the blog since you can’t edit your posts. And many people post from their phone and become the victims of autocorrect. But there is absolutely no reason not to have perfect grammar on your profile. It’s not an absolute, but someone who doesn’t know (or care about) well-written prose is not likely to be compatible with me. Since I only have that, hopefully short, snippet to learn about you, make it stand out.

    Of course, I’ve seen some awful profiles and overlooked them because the photos were so stunning. Usually to find out they were fake. :(

  96. flyR says:

    @Ash

    I think the grammar comments on the blog were generally focused on profiles.

    Yes there some who worry here too, but this is a fun conversation, not presenting yourself to the sugar world…………

  97. sweetie says:

    used, sorry.

  98. sweetie says:

    @Seabound “I was born in the USA. I am fluent in over a dozen languages.”

    The languages you’re fluent in are artificial languages as opposed to natural languages (the ones people speak). You cannot have a conversation with them, although they are use by humans. I don’t remember the details, but that’s what linguistics claims. I could find out the details, if you’d like.

    @Sugary- I hope you straighten things out, dear. Good luck with everything. About foreigners and contractions, it depends on the level of English knowledge they have.

  99. Sasha says:

    @ss1959 Good afternoon, I hope that your Sunday is going well. Thank you for the advice and suggestions. I have made some modifications to my profile and pictures. Have a great day! : )

    P.S. Hopefully, its not too much text now. LoL

  100. Ash says:

    @Most

    I also see that some are very into grammar and such. Well, by all means, please ignore me because this site isn’t such a big deal to me where I feel like my grammar should be at the up most best. This isn’t college and I’m not getting a grade for this nor am I writing an article that will be in the local news paper. As long as you can understand my point, great! I’m simply here to find an SD and enjoy my life with that SD, grammar is so not my focus. To me at least by all means I’m not trying to hit anyone down, I’m just saying, ignore my post when it comes to grammar. I simply could care less, but kudos to you guys. :)

  101. Ash says:

    Woahhh!

    @SugarySpicey or ANYONE

    If your still checking out the blog, I’m that sweet girl blah blah blah right now. What do you mean sugar turning a girl like that “sour”. Please elaborate, I don’t want to ever change if i can know what happened that made you change or steps to take so I can avoided changing please let me know…anyone at that if she’s gone. Like I said to Rob, I am just now catching up and I’m reading from he bottom up, don’t ask it’s just how I decided to do it lol….

  102. Ash says:

    @Rob

    Well with school and work starting to get at that drowning point I haven’t had a chance to really get on the blog and read everything to keep up:/

    I feel so out of the loop now lol.

    I meant by your “match” did you find a SB?

    For me, I THINK I found a great SD, we text allot which is fine. Through text we have amazing chemistry, we will chat on the phone eventually but no rush. We’ll probably Skype at that. He in his 40’s I feel safe about him because he’s very open about his place of work and sending pics. He never pushes to talk about sex like it’s the most important thing ever yet when we do it’s soo mutual and natural not weird and forced. He’s married which kinda sucks but (giving him the benefit of a doubt) if his situation is the way it is, I TOTALLY understand why he chose to do this. On the other side, that’s not really my focus or my business, it’s his life, his choice, if he wants to talk about it we can, if not, I’m here for his needs and he’s here for mine so as long as he’s happy and I’m happy, hey. We both agree on a great arrangement which works for both of us. I meet him for the first time this week and I’m actually excited more than nervous. We’re going to do some shopping then go to dinner and let the night decide were it leads:) That’s where I’m at now in my search for all to see lol. But, we haven’t met yet so I wont disable my page or stop looking until I’m sure this is 100% the SD I want for me which I will know on that day.

    I changed my profile a little so I feel more comfortable posting my pg number.

    Profile Number 366768

  103. AustralianGal says:

    Just a tip…so many men want a woman to put on a pedestal and adore and worship. They want the quintessential woman. Tap into that ladies. Even if he’s narcissistic he still has needs unless he’s Patrick Bateman. 😛

  104. AustralianGal says:

    Can I just say if you’re not vetting out the douchebags in the beginning you’re setting yourself up for failure.

    Phone conversations prior to meeting are a MUST. Have never had any bad experiences at all. Only good.

  105. flyr says:

    blog goddesses – a way to edit our posts would be wonderful

    were interested (not enough coffee)

  106. flyr says:

    @ adding sugar

    When asked about prior experience on the site the truth but not the whole truth may be the best answer but crafted into a mission oriented answer.

    I had a wonderful relationship with an older gentleman that lasted for some time and ended when he moved away. Have also been disappointed with so many men who where really just focused on sex and not interested in communicating

  107. Eloquence says:

    Finally, a paradox lies at the heart of being a mistress: on the one hand the mistress seeks to live outside and undermine the institution of marriage; on the other, she is as subject to the institution as is the wife, being defined by it. Without marriage, there wouldn’t be mistresses.

  108. flyr says:

    @adding sugar to tea

    If you want to see him again send him note apologizing for the inappropriate behavior of the restaurant owner, you had a good time, you would like to see him again if he is interested as long as it is a different restaurant. Of course that leaves you free to pursue the restaurant owner should you choose to do so.

    The apparent lack of communication should be a warning but not necessarily prevent another meeting. If he is married he may be concerned

  109. Zack says:

    @ FB, re: flyr, emails and starting a business…

    How difficult is it to set up a business on a shoestring? Elaine could provide a starting content, Seabound tech support, maybe Rob could do finance and networking. Flyr could collect the checks. So, that could be SM lol. Not exactly a rocket launch with the right people, but not very interesting without a good idea behind it.

    btw, I never get any email requested of the blog gods.

  110. FatBastardSD says:

    @PriceySpicey

    I think it will be good for you to take a break from the SA world.

    Cheers :-).

  111. ss1959 says:

    @sasha

    Speaking purely for myself:

    – I would like to see a full-length photo of you dressed for an evening out

    – There are several grammatical errors in your profile that leap out at me.

    – I would like to read something about a particular interest of yours, so I feel I know a little bit about you, and so I have something to talk or write about when making contact with you. That could be about how you love to walk your dog or how much you love the beach or your favorite shopping destination or whatever. Something that’s real and true about you.

  112. Zack says:

    I do hope you’re going to read replies for a while before you go cold turkey on the blog. I’d like to say when I started a few (several? tempis fuggit, lol) months ago (“just looking,” sigh)…it was your posts that caught my attention as somebody I’d like to read and learn from. That was my first week…I was lucky Treasured tapped me on the shoulder. 😛 Now both are moving on to better. I’m not the only one feeling a sting of regret at not knowing you better, I’d guess, so I want to say you’ll be missed.

    -Z

  113. Zack says:

    @ SS Time and perspective are good things, sometimes. Perhaps we’ll see you in a few months? Sounds like Brazil is going to be a soccer match. 😛

    @ Sugar-T….It sounds like you are out of his league and he is either not ready or not comfortable. Find another…perhaps the restaurant owner, but learn to control your signals better…I think you might be overwhelming to some, for now.

  114. Mellisa says:

    Hallo good people:-) quick question regarding my profile. I’m 5″6 and a half, and weigh 130 pounds. Should I put slim as my body type or average?

  115. SugarySpicey says:

    That said, I’ve decided it’s time to leave the blog. It is not consistent with who I want to be, and reminds me too much of negative aspects of where I’ve been. I have amends to make.

    Thank you all for your support, friendship, and entertainment. And, Softi, choke on a chicken bone, then beg me to use my stiletto to dislodge it from your waddle.

    To all of you ladies, don’t let sugar turn you sour. It can so easily. I was once that incredibly sweet, secretly sexy, girl that every guy hopes to marry – meeting my man at the door with a kiss and a home cooked meal every night. Hopefully I’ll be her again someday. And to you gents, if you meet that girl, worship her, (and fuck her silly with 2+ every time) or she’ll go looking on the Internet for someone who will, and instead she’ll get hardened and abused.

  116. SugarySpicey says:

    Flyr – I believe a profile, which one has plenty of time to create and edit, should be free of egregious grammatical errors in anyone who claims to have an education beyond the most basic community college level. I say that not as education snobbery, more a sad statement on the poor quality of education offered by our state-run, lesser funded two-year institutions which don’t have the staff or time to focus on the fundamentals of English composition. Overuse of the comma (my personal gaffe), an errant semi-colon, even an em dash where a period belongs should be forgiven. Multiple apostrophe catastrophes, and an incomplete grasp of commonly used homophones imply the person does not know correct usage, which a grad student would have picked up.

    To mistype is one thing, to decide ” it doesn’t matter” and leave it be, when editing is possible, is something which I lack the correct word for, so I’ll go simple – dumb.
    E

  117. Addingsugartotea says:

    I have a question maybe you all can help me with. About 2 weeks ago I started talking to a new pot. We went on a date and while I had fun I can’t tell if he likes me. I believe he tries to talk over my head and when I start to catch on he stops talking. I tried to talk to him about his job and it seemed like he didn’t want to discuss it so I let him pick the topic. He asked about my previous experiences on the site and I answered him truthfully even when he wanted details. When I asked him about his previous date he was very vague and started mumbling. When I asked questions about what went wrong like he did me…I couldn’t tell if he was talking about her or me. Maybe I’m being insecure. That and the owner of the restaurant kept openly flirting with me in front of him and tried to slip me his number. I tried to laugh it off with him but I believe it made him uncomfortable. I text him to let him know I got home safe. He said that’s good and that I smelled good but never mentioned wanting to see me again. Another thing his profile says he’s 50 something and he has to be over 70. What’s your opinion?

  118. flyr says:

    @SS – I see a lot of SB profiles with defects. Probably more a reflection of writing in the dark of the night after a few glasses of wine or more potent recreation.

    It is a red flag, especially if the SB represents that she is a grad student . I expect a far higher quality in the profile than on the blog…..

  119. FatBastardSD says:

    @Seabound

    Programming languages (I assume that is what you are talking about) are used by humans. Did you invent an AI that writes software without human interaction.

    Are you Sheridan or Naughton? I think your a troll or PriceySpicey.

  120. SugarySpicey says:

    Softi – the assumption I make is that if one misuses the language it is probably because they are a scamming liar or 14 year old in mom’s basement with a prepaid VISA and a hardon. Probably not a perfect filter, but not without logic.

    PS – in my experience, non native speakers typically don’t use contractions. It’s an American language nuance, or an activity saved for women in labor.

  121. SugarySpicey says:

    C# – Thanks for taking the note in the spirit it was meant – even though it may have come across with vinegar. I seriously will delete a message from an SD immediately on the your vs you’re – I filter like a mad woman. Thanks for your well wishes (and I’m rather fond of geeks).

  122. Seabound says:

    FB – I was born in the USA. I am fluent in over a dozen languages. They are just not ones used by humans. I never would claim to be a writer. I am a geek who had the privilege of helping create the tools used by developers to make software. Most people use some website or app everyday built using a tool I had a hand in creating.

  123. FatBastardSD says:

    Change Seabound’s to Seabound in the above post in case a SB does not think I am accomplished.

    I am not very accomplished by the way.

  124. FatBastardSD says:

    @PriceySpicey

    A SB who is as intelligent and worldly as you claim to be would most likely guess that Seabound’s is not a native English speaker (or writer) and would focus on his allowance category before ignoring his profile.

    Seabound seems to appreciate the help though :-).

  125. Seabound says:

    SugarySpicey,

    Thank you for reading and noticing the mistake with your vs you are. Just because one is successful does not mean perfection. I am human and not perfect. I hope your year gets better.

  126. SugarySpicey says:

    Softi – Again, that is why I am being kind in pointing it out. If he truly doesn’t know the difference and SBs are judging him for it, now he goes, and they will no longer do so. But, are you the pot to call my politeness kettle black?

    And yes, Kat, I am in a vile mood today, that from a thousand miles away I still let an asshat bully ruin my experience and send me running home to lick my wounds.

  127. KatPaw says:

    OOOO spicey hehhee your claws are out today reeeooowwwrrrr lol
    This kitty is to sick today to have any fight in them! Hopefully feeling more up to par tomorrow… Curled up trying to stay warm..

  128. FatBastardSD says:

    @PriceySpicey

    Reads like a person for whom English is not their first language. How many languages are you fluent in?

  129. SugarySpicey says:

    Softi – I’ll let a couple pass, but my God, it’s as if he doesn’t know a difference exists, in which case I’m being kind in pointing out that there is a difference. Now that he realizes some babies can read he will no longer have his messages ignored by the non-illiterate type.

  130. FatBastardSD says:

    @flyr

    The way you babble you might actually be in academia. Not a quantitative field though.

    Why not develop and market a Seeking Mistress website and show SA how it is done. You could hire SB’s to do all of the work (as you once recommended SA do with a contest). There are many blog SD’s who seem to be waiting to invest. When can we expect your new site.

    I hope I used your properly in my post. The writer is playing the spelling nazi today.

  131. SugarySpicey says:

    Seabound – an SD is gone as soon as he misuses your vs you’re, might want to look into that. As a POT SB your typing would make me think you’re not the success that your profile says you are. :)

    Jenni – don’t scream at us, turn off the caps. :) that said, the benefits you’d get for upgrading: you could see who has viewed your profile and you get more search options. Not particularly valuable IMHO. You can also get a free upgrade if you change your address to an @edu email address, so consider using a student email account if you have one.

  132. Seabound says:

    Hi first time at SA but not new to sugar.

    @ SD-Rob, @ Elaine I totally agree with needing a SeekingMistress.

    In my late thirties I met and almost had my first affair with the most amazing woman 15 years my senior. We synced in ways I have rarely found. She was truly a beautiful person inside and out.

    In looking for a SB, I want someone special. At least for me if it was just about the sex there are easier ways than sugar. SD/SB arrangement is about finding someone to take a mini-vacation from my life. Age is only an attribute no different than hair or eye color. It helps give me an idea of how to visualize interactions prior to the first meeting. It is then a guide as flyR said in what are appropriate venues.

    One thing on age though for SBs. Do not drop your age too much. I know someone woman lie about their age just do not make it a huge lie. Just like SB should do their research on Pot SD so should SD. I do my research on a Pot SB. With very little info I can find out – no your not 28 your 38. And then goodbye not because of the age but because of the lie. I am putting trust into the hands of a Pot SB and more over time if it becomes a SD/SB relationship. I need to know I can trust my SB.

    Your also gone the moment I can’t trust you. Or you start believing I am your personal ATM.

    Finally, Hey Blog Gods how about a guide for SDs as well? I have learned many painful lessons in my sugar journey. I am still learning. A guide like this would have been helpful. In the end I think some horror stories can be avoided by education.

  133. JENNI says:

    HELLO!

    THANK YOU FOR ALL THE INFO SHARED BY EVERYONE!!

    MY QUESTION IS: HOW DO I UPGRADE FROM A FREE SB ACCOUNT TO A PREMIUM SB ACCOUNT, & IS IT WORTH IT?

    THANK YOU FOR ANY INPUT, ~JENNI

  134. HotSugarBaby says:

    @Zack

    It is a cool truck LOL.

    @flyr and @Richard

    Thanks for the advise! I will call him and hope that he wants to have an arrangement!

  135. Elaine says:

    @ FlyR.

    Right said!

    The arrogance of youth is quite understandable though…
    We have all been there, haven’t we?

    I remember my dismay (long ago, early 20’s), when I lost my 35 year old -succesful businessman- lover to another woman, his peer.
    Only now I do realise she was a very beautiful and interesting lady, but then I genuinely couldn’t understand how he could dump me for such an “old corpse”. LOL
    And I now I understand ; I was a girl to be kidding around with, but she was a woman, an equipollent partner, … It was an unequal battle.

    …Yes,….the arrogance of youth……

    How bewildered would a lot of girls nowaday be if they knew how many of their peers are fancying women 10 – 20 years their major?
    Yes, also on SA ….

  136. Doc says:

    @KatPaw Toy ehh hmmm. Will keep that in mind. Anyway your welcome any time. Just keep your head up.

  137. DarkHorseSD says:

    Damn. Now I need to buy new clothes AND a truck?

  138. Newbie Needs Help says:

    @ Richard yes you did!! thanks 😀
    oops gotta run be back laterrrr

  139. Richard says:

    Blog Gods – Please share my email with Elaine…I need to have a car conversation with her. :)

    @Hot – I’m not sure I understand your question. If you like him, call him. This isn’t high school. One of the benefits of meeting someone here (in my opinion) is you don’t have to play silly games. That doesn’t mean the man shouldn’t court the woman, but we just don’t have to pretend about certain things.

    @Newbie – No worries, hope we helped!

  140. flyR says:

    RE Older SB/Mistress –
    Rob, Elaine and others illuminated the potential upper range of sugar. Notwithstanding some comments that I was speculating about this area-a few comments.

    I’ve been dabbling in and out of organized and random sugar for about 15 years. Sugar comes in all kinds of types, packages and missions; it covers a wide range of age differentials.

    There’s a certain desirable arrogance of youth, they worship young super hard bodies and perfect skin, confident that they are at the peak of desirability and sensual competence. Their kindred brothers are too often found in the ethersphere of government and finance and perhaps even young fighter pilots and racers. The 70’s “never trust anyone over 30” includes a misguided belief that desirability ends at 35.

    My experience is that there’s no perfect age for a SB. I can take a more mature SB/mistress many places where a younger SB would be inappropriate. I do not flaunt younger SB’s on my neighbors, not because I am trying to hid something but rather it is discomforting for their wives to see someone older with a much younger women, especially if they are just too much fun. When I do have a younger one she’s usually introduced as someone working for the company and visiting for the weekend.

    A 35-50 yo fits perfectly in this environment or a business function. I’m also into brain candy (rather than arm candy) and my experience is it is not age related. There’s also the matter of sensual skills. However, the greatest difference is in the lack of drama. Most of the post 30 gang have enough life experiences to have left the soap opera drama queen life behind. These are by no means universal truths but rather what I think are tendencies.

    Rob and others hopefully opened some eyes as to why there is a substantial demand for the SB / mistress who by behavior and dress fits into the over 35 category regardless of actual age.

    For the SB appealing to an older SD population can have some advantages. it may also mean fewer tire kickers. If you open a Ferrari dealership in say Santa Barbara you’ll get hundreds of young men wanting to look at the car, site in it and perhaps take it for a test drive. Few have the ability to buy or even appreciate the car. The salesman is looking for the slightly older man who walks in and asks if they have one in a particular color. He doesn’t need a test drive to know it is what he wants.

    If you do a SB search for Santa Barbara with no search criteria you’ll find an overwhelming population of early 20’s , blond beach girl/students. There’s a tiny number of over 30 but I know from attending social events that they are finding SD’s

    If SA is smart they will nurture this subset . If not there will be another competitor . Hopefully they are listening and learning. However, they suffer relapses such and the photo used with the upgrade your sugar discussion where the content and photo looked like something from a ghetto porn movie.

  141. Newbie Needs Help says:

    Hi everyone!! Hope you are all having a wonderful Saturday 😀 Thanks Richard and SD-Rob for the email adds!! …On another note, I need to find time to incorporate all those useful comments into my profile.

  142. SD-Rob says:

    @ Ash- where have you been ? :) Did you meet a SD?
    Not sure what you mean by meeting my match? Don’t recall the conversation …explain please

  143. Jj says:

    Just an observation; but, it appeared to me that someone freely posted their profile on the blog (mass mailing, if you will) as a means to solicit potential responses and when the effort resulted in less than anticipated results, they were “pizz’d”! Just say’n.

    SB/Pro/ John??? For me, it all comes down to communication and listening; not hearing what you want, but actually hearing what is being portrayed within the conversation. I do not wish to be a John and by default, do not seek a pro, but also, do not fault a SB from keeping their options open if need be. It is what it is and it is what both wish it to be. Yes! I will be reviewing Guru’s link for the professors take on the subject!!

  144. Elaine says:

    Blog gods, please send Zack my email.

    Thanx

  145. Zack says:

    BloG gods, please send my email of record to Elaine. Or I can find another way.

  146. Elaine says:

    @ SD-Rob

    Of course you may ask! :-)

    No, I am not employed, I am a businessowner myself.
    And as a result of my geographical position, the relationships are always long distance, that’s why there is always a lot of communication via Skype or tel. and text. Because meetings are not always possible whenever we would like to…

    And even if both very busy, there is always a moment, waiting in an airport lounge, inbetween two meetings, travelling in the car, or just lonely in a hotelroom
    to talk or text. Often I function as a valve to get rid of their daily business stress. By now I could tell a lot of funny boardroom stories and would make a great industrial spy. 😉

    And as a matter of fact, that is probably what attracts these gentlemen, knowing someone there is always a trusted friend there to listen, cheer up, encourage.
    No drama, discrete and integer.

    And in that case my age is just less important as it is for an arm candy SB ……(brrrrr, the word alone!)
    Mind you, of course look IS important, and I am doing well in the looks department, but I am by no means a steaming hot 20 something.
    For example, the wife of my actual (younger) “lover” is beautiful and 15 years my minor…… So, theoratically, why would he need to “keep” a mistress for?

    Some people just want a red Ferrari, others fancy a dark green classic Jaguar….

    So Rob, come on, let’s set up this website “SeekingMistress” 😉
    I can guarantee there is a market for it! LOL

  147. Zack says:

    @ Sasha…stay warm, but try not to flame out 😛 sincere best hopes.

    @Hot…ok…do you want an arrangement with this guy because he has a cool truck or because you are seeking an arrangement?

    @ Jack..yeah, I did that with Russian once and got some interesting ladies mailing me because I was in a different search frame, LoL. Some of the other stuff does seem odd, though.

    //www.youtube.com/watch?v=eFTLKWw542g

  148. flyR says:

    @Hot “Should I wait for him to call me?”

    Not if you are comfortable with him . Just call and explain that you promised yourself and 50 bloggers that nothing past a few kisses on the first meet……….

  149. flyR says:

    @upbeat – that was sashas profile number – it looked like mine due to some poor cutting and pasting on my part.

  150. Sasha says:

    Wow. There are more comments, crazy. I have not experience this much drama since high school,

    Thanks everyone for the inputs, thoughts and everything. This is America, everyone is entitled to their own opinions.

  151. Ash says:

    Hey guys, I’m back!

    I wonder what I missed lol. Time to catch up.

    @Rob
    Did you ever meet your match?

  152. UpbeatSB (formerly Kindred Spirit) says:

    FlyR, I put in your profile number in the search option for such, but it came up empty. To anyone out there: I forget, was there some kind of workaround for this issue? I know it has been brought up in the past, of profile numbers not taking you anywhere. :( Bummer.

  153. HotSugarBaby says:

    I need some help from the blog. I met a POT SD. Nice looking older guy with a cool truck. We met for coffee and he was really cool. I went with him to his truck because he offered to drive me home (it was really cold outside) and we made out. I felt really bad because I don’t want to come across as desperate so I decided to to take a cab instead. I really want to have an arrangement with this guy. Should I wait for him to call me?

  154. SD-Rob says:

    @ Elaine- “But…. some of the high profile businessman here are not really looking for a young sugarbaby , more for a long term lover, mistress, maitresse, courtesan or whatever one would like to name it….”
    You hit the nail on the head for some of us. I wish there was a “seeking mistress” site for those of us who are looking for that, regardless of the age. That was my idea of a SB when I got on, and as I have mentioned I was very naive to think that this is what this site was. But searching through and going through more SBs than I wanted to , I think I have found one like you to settle with for some period of time hopefully.
    I wonder if I may ask if you are employed? I ask since you mention 1000 texts a month. That is where my current “exclusive” as best as I know SB differs from you . We may text once to few times a day max when away, usually more as we get close to our weekly meeting, and maybe calling once a week if something special is out there to discuss. She is busy with school, working out, and her other part of her social life, also is slow with texting (typing) and I have resigned myself to this level of communication. I actually do not have time to text 1000 times a day either, but could text a few more times. But the texts are usually very nice, describing something she is doing that reminds her of me, or wants to share with me, or how she is thinking of me in an intimate way. All very nice, I guess quality over quantity?

  155. SD-Rob says:

    By the way, I do have to say that the way the SB’s that may have many SDs go about their encounters with the SDs is quite different than escorts. There is the meet and greet at least just before the first sexual encounter to make sure they like them. Escorts sometimes ask for references instead. The escort experience can be mechanical and uninspired, while SBs in general are very much into it. They may want multiples during the session , while escorts do not in general. So, if one extends the definition to these aspects then there evolves a substantial difference. However, one then needs to distinguish between the SBs such as the above, vs those who only stick to one SD for a LTR. Calling them both SBs does not distinguish the two groups apart. Maybe it is not important any way, but again it is a personal thing, and for me, there is a large difference between the two.

  156. SD-Rob says:

    @rich- I have already said previously that it does make you a John IMO.
    Not saying either is worse or better in general. It depends on personal opinion. And that’s what counts. If a SD wants to have one SB, but his SB is jumping around it is up to him to decide what he wants to do, or vice versa. But as a matter of definition his SB is bordering on something professional, and her SD would be bordering on being a John. Of course, one may say the definition may be in question , and this is the point of the discussion.

  157. Richard says:

    So if you pay for sex with lots of different SBs, with no real emotional connection, what does that make you? And why is being a “pro” or “escort” worse than being a John?

  158. SD-Rob says:

    @ Onyx- Gentle(man)soul –
    I could not agree with Gentleman-soul more! When money is involved the whole idea of sleeping with lots of guys does not smell right. It may be a matter of definition but functionally it is the same, especially since some of the SBs with multiple SDs go through more than just several, since many of their SDs drop them after a meet or two. I know from experience with one. So, as I have mentioned before, the numbers add up quickly. And I know some professional escorts are indeed picky, so the two lines approach each other …

  159. DarkHorseSD says:

    What pants?

  160. SugarySpicey says:

    Lol, that was a funny autocorrect. – deerie is what I meant.

  161. SugarySpicey says:

    Sasha – you need to get prepared for the sugar world. Softi’s comments were nothing compared to the rudeness horror stories you’re going to experience. I met someone who afterwards said, “You’re pretty enough, and thin enough, and your personality is exactly what I’m looking for, but I can’t imagine paying for anything less than a D cup. You really need to remember that many (not all, but many) men on this site will be evaluating you as a commodity not a human. Softi was helping you in letting you know how brisk the pot SD can be. Thicken up your skin derrière.

  162. Homer says:

    re: Opinions
    If a woman asks a man “do these pants make my ass look big?” there are many ways to answer the question:
    “Yes”
    “They’re ok…”
    “The cut is not the most flattering”
    and finally “No dear, your ass makes your ass look big”
    All just different ways to say the same thing. If you don’t want an honest answer, don’t ask the question and don’t get all bent out of shape if someone chooses the less polite method to answer your question.
    Listen to what all these people are saying, not just how they are saying it. It’s much better than telling you “No, your profile is perfect. I think the only reason nobody is messaging you is that they’re intimidated by your perfection…”

  163. SouthernSB says:

    OK, as you know I don’t post much and I’m no longer on SA because frankly, I’ve aged out (I’ll be 50 next month), but I have to weigh in on the whole Sasha thing.
    Sasha sweetheart (please don’t take sweetheart as an insult), you need to turn it down a few notches. You asked for advice and everyone here was more than happy to give it to you. I haven’t seen your profile because, like I said, I’m no longer sugaring. The only person who was a bit blunt with you was FB, but you have to realize that this is just part of his personality. Anyone who would call themselves “Fat Bastard” is bound to be a little out there. If you can’t handle someone like our Fatty Bastard you really don’t need to be in this lifestyle.
    Yes, it may take a black woman a little longer to find a SD but we can find them. You just have to be patient. You also have to realize that you are working against 400 years of stereotypes and misinformation. Your attitude is NOT HELPING!! You sound like an angry black woman, and if that is how you are going to act in a public forum, amongst people you don’t even know, how can you expect to get a date with a man of quality. Frankly, your attitude is messing it up for the rest of the girls. You are acting like a low class, immature girl that just stepped out of an episode of “Love and Hip Hop”, and I’m pretty sure that isn’t how you want the world to see you. So tone it down, nobody like a Drama Queen. This is suppose to be fun, so at least act like you are having a good time. Men just want women who are attractive, intelligent and MOST IMPORTANTLY Are nice to them. Be nice and you won’t have any problems.

  164. Elaine says:

    @ Sasha, if you would have read my first post here (January 23, 2014 at 2:28 am) you would have known that I am not looking for an SD , I have already found my Diamond in the coal.

    As I have also stated in this same post, SA for me has been a way to get in contact with high class gentlemen, and it has been a very succesful adventure.
    Against all odds in the opinion (or wishfull thinking) of many :-)

    Indeed, Sugarbaby looking for Sugardaddy would be more than ridiculous at my age.

    But…. some of the high profile businessman here are not really looking for a young sugarbaby , more for a long term lover, mistress, maitresse, courtesan or whatever one would like to name it….
    And in that case, being in your forties, with the coming confidence and experience, is not always a disadvantage.

    Sharon Stone, Courteney Cox, Jennifer Aniston, Hale Berry, Demi Moore……Need to say more? 😉

  165. KatPaw says:

    Lol thank you not toy lmao that was sweet doc

  166. KatPaw says:

    @ Doc thank toy very much!

  167. WCSD says:

    What has this world become when we are all sticking up for Fat Bastard?!? If Sasha had read any of the previous blogs she might realize how unnatural that really is!

  168. SugarySpicey says:

    Home again! Miserable sick! Crawling into bed for the rest of the weekend. Thanks for all the moral support, and the entertainment that kept me from getting too lonely and homesick – hopefully my trip to Brazil in a few weeks will be less harsh.

  169. Richard says:

    Blog Gods: Please give me email address to Newbie Needs Help. She sounds like she needs some advice pronto.

  170. flyR says:

    @Sasha “Hello everyone! I am new to this site, I have posted pictures…and I think my profile is pretty decent. However, men are viewing my profile but not messaging me. So what does that mean?? Do I need to do change things up more? Idk.. LoL”…………………..

    “””LoL. Look I am not going to keep going back and fourth with you people.
    It is so stupid, and you all keep going about something that happened yesterday, really? Get over it, and get a life.
    So if you all “think” I am immature or whatever, fine. It does not bother me, I know who I am. And none of you know anything about me or who I am. So think what you want to think, I don’t have to prove anything to any of you.
    So have a fabulous day everyone.””””””

    Whoooooooooo …………………………. Most SD’s are here because we want something special , few of us are looking for a hand grenade with the pin pulled to be rolling around under the bed or across the table while we’re focused on pleasure.

    You have gotten a lot of advice. It may not have arrived in the format you wanted but it should be treated as a treasure.

    Taking deep breath ………. Sasha – all we know about you is what we read in your profile and what you have said here.

    You have a marketing problem, P^6

    You note that “we do not know you” and perhaps that’s true, but totally irrelevant. When a vendor says “you don’t understand” it translates into they don’t understand the customer. Both SD and SB are customers / prospective partners and need to view the product on the shelf as critically as someone arranging a storefront or cabinet display.

    Some basics

    Photos – too many, not flattering , wrong colors in some cases. Guys deal best with simplicity. The cost of each photo is that it detracts from the time available to sell. Three photos max. Smile should be a friendly smile not modelesque .

    Benefits – As Spicey noted you need to help the SD visualize the benefits of being with you, what’s special.

    Competition – research the competion , There are 20 AA women 21-30 in Atlanta with profiles more recent than yours. It’s a dog eat dog world out there.

    Allure – what will make the SD come back , read the profile again and send a note.

    Focus – pick a target market and tailor the profile for that market

    It looks like you made some changes which are good.

    I can take criticism, so any suggestions or advice about my profile I would appreciate it. My profile number is: 1929149″

  171. Sasha says:

    To end things on a lighter note, I hope everyone has a great and safe weekend.

  172. Melisa says:

    @ FB, but I still heart you:-)

  173. Sasha says:

    @Elaine You stated that your old enough to be my mother. Yet, you are on this site seeking a SD at your age. Wow. And your telling me to grow up. That’s pretty comical.

    I heard with age brings class and maturity, which you have not showed any of that to me. As you have continue to argue back and fourth with a “child.”

    But more power to you, enjoy meeting your “SA diamonds from the coal.”

    Thanks for some of the tips. : )

  174. Melisa says:

    @Sasha, I agree with Eleine….it’s been my understanding that a lot of Caucasian guys view AA ( I’m African btw) as full of drama, and your response towards constructive cristism speaks volumes in this matter. You asked for people’s opinions and should expect some brutality to some degree. It’s annoying how the rest of us are generalised because of women like you….I have met a lot of white guys who are afraid of dating AA women not because of our ethnicity but because the of the bad attitude. @FB I still think you’re a fat bastardo

  175. Newbie Needs Help says:

    @Richard, yeah i’ve been trying to avoid that :/

  176. Newbie Needs Help says:

    mmm why are all the posts on this blog so confrontational lately? Is everyone just having a bad week?

  177. MissBabyJ says:

    @flyR – thank you
    @SugarSpicey – thank you, and best wishes for the future.

  178. NC Gent says:

    reminds me of the sign I had on my door in graduate school…. Everyone Who Enters Here Brings Happiness. Some on the Way In; Some on the Way out.

  179. Elaine says:

    @ Sasha,

    First : I could be your mother, …..so funny to be called sweety by you.

    Second : good luck in your search girl, I am sure you will be very succesful as SB!

    PS.
    Please go ahead like this, kids like you make it so much easier for women like me to get the SA diamonds from the coal :-)

  180. Sasha says:

    @FatBastardSD Excuse me! I actually work TWO jobs!. One is for the corporate office of a company, and the job other I deal with people of class and substance. You do not know anything about me or who I am. Competition my ass, this is not my life and I do not “need” this website. I am only trying something new.

    There will always be competition in life, no matter what. Do you have any competition? Or you just a bitter and unhappy person?

  181. Sasha says:

    LoL. Look I am not going to keep going back and fourth with you people.

    It is so stupid, and you all keep going about something that happened yesterday, really? Get over it, and get a life.

    So if you all “think” I am immature or whatever, fine. It does not bother me, I know who I am. And none of you know anything about me or who I am. So think what you want to think, I don’t have to prove anything to any of you.

    So have a fabulous day everyone.

  182. FatBastardSD says:

    @Sasha

    I gave you substance over style, you seem to prefer the opposite. You are younger and inexperienced, if you wrote your resume like you wrote your profile you would never get a job (I am sure PriceySpicey will claim the opposite was true in her case). Write your profile with the same approach because you have a lot of competition.

    [\img\]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IgzFPOMjiC8&t=1m18s[\img\]

  183. WCSD says:

    @Sasha – You also have to realize that you are getting views because you posted your profile number on the blog. You obviously have to take into account that there are many people on here looking at your profile because of curiosity from this thread…

  184. NC Gent says:

    Jack — everything is in French in your profile, because last time you were on, you must have accidentally clicked “French” on the small language logos on the bottom of the screen. I have done that in the past when using my smart phone. Just click on the English icon and you will be good to go again.

    I thought FB comments on Sasha’s profile were accurate but harsh… his delivery sucked (maybe his mom shouldn’t have had it??). Anyways, Sasha — I read your profile, and there are several grammatical errors (including an unfinished sentence). Also, you don’t say anything in your profile about what you can do for your SD, it is all about what you want and need. You are getting views because you are attractive; you aren’t getting any messages because of the grammatical errors and you come across as entitled IMHO

  185. WCSD says:

    @Sasha – You come to a public blog, ask for advice, don’t like some of the advice you get, rip into that person whose advice you didn’t like telling them that their opinion wasn’t asked for (yet…it was…you asked for everyone’s opinion), then Elaine makes a comment that essentially is telling you to ‘grow a pair and act like a lady’ if you ask for feedback on a public blog, and you again attack her because you don’t like the feedback. Have I got the summary right?

    I smell a troll. Looking and stirring the drama. FB’s points were right on, as you completely admitted when Spicey mirrored them. So, it wasn’t the content of the message but the method it was delivered. Man, if you can’t take a little negativity without getting worked up and lashing back, you shouldn’t be in any online forum (let alone the sugar world). Online is brutal.

    So I’ll echo Elaine and tell you to grow some thicker skin. Maybe once you hear it twice you’ll agree (like you did when Spicey echoed FB’s comments).

  186. KatPaw says:

    Tick tock lol hopefully found place check it out tomorrow.

  187. Sasha says:

    @Elaine Sweetie, you should know in life it is not about what you say, but “how” you say something. It is a type of etiquette, that should be used in your professional and personal life. That is why it is important how you communicate with others, because things can be taken out of context or misunderstand.

    So with that being said, the “only” person that I made a smart remark to was “FatSDBastard.” Since the way he came at me was rude and immature, and it was not constructive criticism. And I didn’t even go down to his level. I didn’t say anything “so” outrageous in return. If anything, I handle the situation pretty well.

    I do not have time for the drama. And this right here is stupid, as you didn’t even have to say anything about it. You were not even involved in. So mind your own business, and keep the childish stuff away from me.

  188. Elaine says:

    reaction on FB I meant of course… 😉

  189. Jack says:

    Pardon the off-topic question, but anyone have any idea why, when I logged in today, everything on my page is in French?

    Also, every time I click anything on this website, I get a “SEcurity Warning” dialog box asking me if I want to view the webpage securely or not. That never used to happen when I was previously a member here.

    Any clues would be appreciated!

    Jack

  190. elaine says:

    @ Sasha

    Your reaction on SB (indeed blunt, but very true comment) says it all…

    If you ask why there is few interest on your profile, you should also be prepared for the answer, even if it’s not what you would like to hear.
    I find your reaction quite childish and I doubt if the type of gentleman your are after is looking for that…..
    This is not an easy child’s play, so if you want to play with adults you just have to act like one.

    Why don’t you just take the advice, look critically at your profile and make it more interesting and appealing, because now it just isn’t!

  191. Zack says:

    Don’t place your faith in Blog Gods…they are not your friends, as FB could say.

    Do protect innocence…yours first. That way you can peel it like onion, later.

    at risk of venturing into politics…try not to blow up gas lines in winter? Time has lots of roles, lol, but try to think long term and be safe at least short term. Otherwise, crisis may spawn conflict.

    //www.youtube.com/watch?v=XEt86vB1seU

  192. Richard says:

    @Newbie – Put your profile number up if you’re comfortable disclosing that…they’ll message you directly

  193. Newbie Needs Help says:

    blog gods are awfully slow :'(

  194. HotSugarBaby says:

    I am a new SB looking to get into the Sugar Bowl LOL! I really love reading the advise from the other SB’s and especially some of the SD’s. Keep it up onyx, gtt_envy, flyr, Richard!

    @FatBastardSD

    Ewww! You probably look as gross as your posts!

  195. NC Gent says:

    I agree with Richard… finding an SB in her late 20s to late 30s that is attractive, sane and not a complete trainwreck is up there with a finding a unicorn or Bigfoot… it takes a lot of digging and usually involves long distances. I find it completely ironic that a number of women chop off years to be in their early to mid-20s when there is so much less competition up a little bit in the age brackets.

  196. Sasha says:

    *Oops! I meant patience. LoL : )

  197. Sasha says:

    @gentle(man)soul Thanks for the kind word. I know that patient is virtue. LoL. Have a great day! : )

  198. FatBastardSD says:

    @Sasha

    No surprise you are having a hard time. Shitty attitude. Read my post again. I said you were attractive but not beautiful enough to have a profile that reads like a shopping list for what you want in a boyfriend. You can listen to the ass kissing SD’s on the blog if you want. Maybe one of them will give you an allowance (yeah right!).

  199. Zack says:

    Speaking off topic, when does Sugary get stopped at customs with a missing Texas politician…in her trunk, ar ar 😛

    OP…common frames of reference permit higher “bandwidth” communication and, um, occasional parity checks. So, what shall it be for the gel, my blog crush… Kat…job, 2 months rent and hopes of a friendly neighbor? Good enough for safety “eject,” but campfire rule is at best a plus or minus thing at this point. Offering LTR solutions or ideas to people thinking short term, and there are many valid reasons this is so,…creates more pressure, sigh.

    //www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=Iyv905Q2omU

  200. FatBastardSD says:

    @onyx_percula

    “Dude I dated two escorts”

    LMAO, BULLSHIT should apply to this sentence as opposed to gentle(man)soul’s post.

  201. SD-Dazed says:

    @sasha,, your a beautiful woman, be patient.

    @onyx,, another great post !

  202. SD-Dazed says:

    @elaine,,,well said. Its all about them !

  203. KatPaw says:

    Sugary- thank you! I’m trying my best…

  204. gentle(man)soul says:

    @Sasha

    Perhaps some of the AA ladies on the blog can opine about alternate sites . I think if you are patient and stick with it you will have success here .

    @onyx

    Not dissing you bro ,just offering my own opinion and experience . There is a difference in mentality between escorts and SBs ,which is why I have SBs instead of escorts . But my point is essentially regarding Ladies who pursue volume to achieve a monetary goal . The lines converge when they are going after the Dough instead of a well rounded experience . As someone said earlier ,I don’t want to bean ATM machine for my baby. Your point about a real relationship is a good one and what drives me on in this world .

    One of the lovely ladies who blogged that she found an IRL lover and is giving up the Sugar world became jaded thinking of SDs as a money source .

  205. DarkHorseSD says:

    Elaine – you are just so right in this. While some talk about marketing, and this site as being about marketing, it is product development that is so lacking.

  206. Sasha says:

    @FatSDBastard Why don’t you shut up, and go stick something inside of your mouth; or at least take the stick out of your ass. I could care least about what YOU or really anyone thinks.

    @gentle(man)soul Thanks for the compliment. You would think that all of activity and people, the site would be geared to all races. But I guess not…. Are there any other legit SD sites? Because they re so many out there.

  207. onyx_percula says:

    @ gentle(man)soul — LMAO, BULLSHIT! Dude I dated two escorts. You can pick rare events in anything and say that they prove something. But the idea that there are lots and lots of “picky” escorts is absolutely laughable! The vast majority are not picky all. The first rule of the “hobby”; she only cares about the money.

    Being “low volume aka picky” expensive and classy doesn’t stop them from taking anyone with the money in hand, its just more money, less sessions available. It doesn’t change how they treat it, they don’t want to txt with you, they don’t care how your week was, they don’t want to chat on the phone, go to dinner and a movie or anything else UNLESS she is paid by the hour for it. All she wants is for you to give her the “donation” cum and GTFA.

  208. onyx_percula says:

    A few tips for a successful SB —

    Instead of trying to list a bunch of “do this and do that” which ultimately comes down to personal preferences and situations, here are a few things NOT to do to help a SB successful.

    “Actions speak louder than words” — So don’t tell your pot SD/SD that you will do something and not do it. Life happens, but establish a consistent pattern of saying one thing and doing another is a sure sugar killer.

    Don’t be a stereotype — The stereotype is of a needy greedy gold digging woman that is only after the money. When you entered into your arrangement you set out the terms (or should have lol). So stick to them. Sure things happen and sometimes you may need something more, as SD’s we are used to that, but a consistent pattern… major fail!

    Don’t be a PinTA! — Dont be a pain in the ass! If its hard to be with you, guess what no one is going to PAY you to be difficult! So give a little, be flexible. Okay you HATE classical music and he wants to take you to a concert, bite the bullet and go. Be honest about it, but don’t make it a problem.

    Don’t be “that girl” — You’re not a hooker, you’re not a little girl. Act like you belong where you are. Don’t be an embarrassment in any way, be it dress, speech or actions. If you’re not comfortable, unsure ask what is expected.

    Don’t be a silent wall — I say it all the time, sugar is a real relationship under different terms and conditions, but its still very real. So listen and talk. Communicate! If you constantly worry about saying something that will end it, guess what, end it anyway because you aren’t right together.

    Don’t ignore your cues — Men are dense, unaware and typically incapable of “getting the message” in the heat of the moment. Ladies this is your shining star! So pay attention, as men give off those cues too. Are you getting too close? Are you being too distant? Communicate even if its not verbal!

    Don’t give off signals that say “no” — So everyone runs late sometimes, but just avoid it. If you are always late to a meeting, it say “no I don’t want to be here”. There are a ton of things you can do that say “no” and if you’re doing it a lot, it likely means you fucked up in choosing this SD…

    Don’t compromise yourself — Okay compromise is vital to any relationship, but that’s not what I’m talking about. Desperate people do desperate things, that they often regret later. So do what you have to do to survive but if you are in a constant cycle of compromising yourself, you are doing more harm than good.

  209. gentle(man)soul says:

    @onyx

    ” An escort is pretty much going to bang any guy with the price of admission in hand, even if he is 200lbs overweight, sinks like the sewer and looks like he kissed a meat grinder. About the only reason a escort is ever going to say “no” is he wants do something she doesn’t provide. —etc etc ”

    You are incorrect and displaying your ignorance of the escort world .

    You ladies here who are or have been escorts before can speak to this –but probably wont “fess up ” to that connection. There are many types of escorts, from street walkers to high dollar courtesans who see only one client . Not much different than a Sugar Baby wouldn’t you say ? Some are desperate and will take all cummers (pun intended ) but others are extremely picky and very classy and expensive. So babies , there is nothing wrong with being an escort , just recognize what you are doing for what it is –and embrace it .

  210. Richard says:

    @Elaine – It’s a desert out there. Even worse if you’re not interested in very young girls or if you only look locally. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve met some interesting women, but they all require travel, which isn’t ideal.

    I would also say the women on the blog tend to be the most intelligent and articulate. Not hard to determine why! :)

  211. gentle(man)soul says:

    @onyx

    ” Women have sex, they enjoy it, want to have good sex and lots of it. ”

    Absolutely ! But if they receive money for it then — Here comes that ” P ” word . If women are just out banging a bunch of guys for the fun of it then they are acting just like guys who do the same –sluts (guys are studs –it isn’t fair is it ? ) When you add money to the equation then they become professionals . Equal opportunity –guys who are lucky enough to get paid for sex are pros as well . One Daddy helping out his baby is a different matter –perhaps a fine line . But what’s in a name ? Who cares ? I do .

  212. gentle(man)soul says:

    @Sasha

    I think you are hot girl . I read that it is harder for AA Babies on SA . I don’t know about that but men who find you “their type ” will contact you . Also you should be contacting guys who appeal to you . It works both ways . I wouldn’t change anything .

  213. Elaine says:

    I did some market research, and browsed a lot of SB profiles…. Curious why so many SB’s are complaining about lack of (quality ) reactions…..

    Honestly?

    If I was in the shoes of a middle aged, very succesful businessman, searching to distract from a hectic business-, and boring marriage life, would it be easy for me to find a SB among the profiles I have randomly scrolled?

    No.

    I have seen only 2 profiles that really stood out.
    Not talking preferences of age, haircolour, and not even location.
    Just talking about INTERESTING, intelligently written profiles that would have grabbed my attention if I was a serious SD.

    Would I, possibly a highly intelligent and respected CEO of a big company, ever consider to pay an allowance to girls that in their profiles seem to lack every sense of intelligence, creativity or humor, only speaking about what THEY want and expect of ME?

    Really!?

  214. SD-Dazed says:

    @Spicey,, we are all flawed, every single one of us ! I hate to sound like I’m preaching or something, but forgive yourself, and make the changes YOU feel you need to make. Also, consider the source of your pain. You are a very bright woman. I have a feeling you’ll be fine as long as your not to hard on yourself. Ok I’m done preaching.

    @SB’s,,this whole site is about Marketing. Figure out your wants, needs and demographics. Most classy men with money didn’t get that way being a fool. Pet Peeve of mine, as mentioned above, 1-3 word replies,, can’t stand them ! Also remember, as one very wise woman here said, ” the sugar flows when the Panties hit the floor”..LOL ( that is such a funny saying for some reason)

  215. Doc says:

    @KatPaw – The great things about the ones
    you love most is that they love you back more than you could ever know. So as far as upheaval and pain those are only temporary. Just keep focus of what is truly important to you. Everything else will eventually fall into place.

    I’m sure if you need more re-assurance their are people you can turn too.

  216. SugarySpicey says:

    Zack and Kat – hopefully the two of you can find a way to manage the amicable separation, especially considering the vulnerable “others” involved.

  217. SugarySpicey says:

    Baby J – do nothing unless he snooped, you’re a smart, safe girl and now he knows he’s sharing too much information in his profile.

  218. flyR says:

    @ Miss Baby J – Ignore all he intel and simply send him a note that you are interested. You like specific things about his profile, common interests etc.

  219. Zack says:

    Spicey, You really don’t have to be such a creature of extremes…you’re bright enough to play through them in your head or talk them out and share a laugh with a few friends. Fitting other people into roles you script for them might a useful, but not your only, option.

    “Only” options…really? You’re making yourself feel stuck and desperate just by foreclosing options. 😛 If you weren’t something special, your self-mortification might be amusing instead of recycled drama. 😛

    @ Kat, Time(rs) serve (a) purpose(s). I got your letter, and I agree; your clock is ticking.
    //www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=YeawPUpTHJA

  220. FatBastardSD says:

    @Sasha

    You asked for advice. PriceySpicey did not need to translate my thoughts. Your profile makes you seem entitled. Unless you are better looking than the other SB’s with entitled profiles you are out of luck. I hope you figure out what to do.

  221. Sasha says:

    *she did an excellente job.

  222. Sasha says:

    Yes, they excellente job! She stated in way that I could relate. Since I am majoring in marketing. And its all about.how a product is presentation. Thanks for the wonderful advice girl! Lets see how the outcome goes… LoL

  223. onyx_percula says:

    @ Sasha — Sugary nailed it, home run. Nothing I can really add, she got it all.

  224. KatPaw says:

    I HATE myself for the pain and upheaval the ones I love most are going to be going through shortly… Killing me inside..

  225. flyR says:

    Spicey

    The PPPs were perfect.

  226. flyR says:

    RE: 20 views in one hour

    Couple possible reasons. The default search option is sort by latest profile first. If your profile is new you’ll be at the top of the search results .

    If SA puts you up as a featured profile than all people will see is a photograph and you may get hundreds of views from people around the world , but few if any real prospects.

  227. SugarySpicey says:

    Zack – I’m undergoing some major personal overhaul, evaluating everything, and making slow, careful, considerate decisions. And, I have an appt. with my therapist when I get home. When a man who has sex with whores calls you an evil slut, maybe you should be evaluated for depression, narcissism, and sexual compulsion disorders, I think there are a lot of sex-comforters on this site who use sex/sugar to fill emotional voids, probably I belong in that group. It’ll also really help to have someone who can walk me through all the work I need to do. This is a process, not just a simple decision. My only “simple” decision is that I’m going sex/men/love cold turkey for 90 days minimum. That’s the only way to sort out how I feel about The Ex, the endorphins of a new relationship cloud judgement in regard to the old.

  228. SugarySpicey says:

    Sasha – Softi is rough around the edges. What he meant to say is that if a product is on the market (you) and that product isn’t “selling” you have to look at the five P’s of marketing, starting with:

    Placement – some girls are on SA not wanting an intimate relationship (and communicating that), having severe sexual hangups, or an “ew” factor about older men. Those “products” are improperly placed.

    Promotion: what are you doing to get the customers in the door? (Photos and username) 20 views is nice, but not indicative of anything other than men looking at the fresh meT and hoping for dirty photos or a kinky/weird profile. Don’t you check out ALL new profiles within your search criteria? You should. You’ve had one data point saying your photos don’t convey: Oy vey. Softi wasn’t nice in how he said it (he never is) but he’s 100% of your feedback at this point. Run an A/B test, post more attractive photos, are you SURE your profile photo is the BEST you can look? Test click and response against your current photos until you get a nibble. Currently, the bait you’ve got on your line isn’t attracting fish (don’t put any stock in views).

    Product – here’s where you can’t underestimate the market. You’re intelligent, great, don’t assume others aren’t or that only “dummies” write a profile to attract interest. Look at Softi’s phrase this way. You could write “I want a sugar daddy who opens doors, shoes up on time, and meets basic hygiene standards.” All of those things are true, but they’re “me” focused. When writing a profile make the WIIFM clear (what’s in it for me). Same idea as above, “I love a distinguished, well dressed older gentleman, and find that reliability and old fashion chivalry bring out my sweet, soft, sensuous side.” Nothing about that second post was dumbed down, it was sugared up, that’s what they’re looking for.

    Pricing – have you looked at other baby profiles near you? Are those girls asking less, offering more, and prettier? Than you’ve got a problem. Generally I advise to stay “negotiable” it leaves you a wider array of options … You never know.

    People – send messages on your own, use the law of attraction to attract what you’re looking for and he your sugar toes wet.

  229. Sasha says:

    Onyx_percula

    You seem like you know a lot about this site, and you know about the do’s and don’ts. Could you please give me some feed back about my profile?

    I would like to see the experience that so many people have said about this site. The fun, crazy and even funny moments.

  230. Sasha says:

    FatBastardSD: Thanks for the “suggestion.” However, thats BS. I have had over 20 views in only 4 hours. So I must not as bad looking as “you” may think I am, which is your prerogative.

    Also, I don’t “need” a SD it’s more of a want since I do like older men anyways. And no matter what I am not going to make myself sound stupid or dumb. Because I am better then that, and no real and respectable man would want a female that would do that.

  231. Zack says:

    Hey, girl, sounding a lot better than a few days ago. Let’s try seeing your rainbow through this glass…if you’re seeing a cycle, like the bit about hurt, you’re getting ready to get past that bit. But, things rarely happen for only a few reasons, and, if you’re ignoring a swath of “something” under some other carpet or flag, it’ll turn up somehow…you’re going to have a better shot at finding what you like about your Ex if you learn it rather than locking it all in a box or bottle at sea.

    //www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=MG39MhaiCyA

  232. SugarySpicey says:

    Err – that was bitchy for no reason. It’s none of my business what he does where, why, or with whom. Judge not… I need to focus on cleaning up my own mess – I’m just lashing out. Hurt people, will hurt people.

  233. Dark Panther says:

    It’s been well over a year since I last checked the board. I like the bog post but I would like to submit a few lines for Sugar newbies…

    1) Attempt to establish a connection

    We’re all here for some form of Sugar (on both sides) so put your best foot forward and try to make a connection. I have received my share of messages from Sugar Babies who respond to my well thought out messages with 2 to 5 word replies.

    2) Desperation is not attractive.

    I know you want some form of financial assistance. Including different variations of ” OMG I need $$$ by tomorrow or I get kicked out” or ” I’m homeless” or my favorite ” I just need $$$ right now so I know you’re serious ” won’t win any Sugar Daddy over.

    3) Sending me a email or text every 15 minutes and expecting an immediate reply is not realistic. Actually.. it starts to get “Creepy”

    And last but not least…

    4) Just because we traded 4-5 messages on the first day (in an attempt to get to know each other) does not mean I agreed to be your Sugar Daddy.

  234. Zack says:

    Ahh, yes, SuSp, you have an exceptional talent for pushing hot buttons, though I may generalize too much.

    You were in a dismal mood and feeling like you had no options…and you pushed an SD with options dripping out of various orifices? For shame, dear…drama like that is best kept away from the uninitiated. 😛

  235. MissBabyJ says:

    Hi sugar babies! I’ve started dipping my toes into the sugarbowl and seeing what sweet goodies I can come up with, but I’ve hit a bit of a snag.
    I saw an SD’s profile that I liked the look of, and saw he was in a very unusual line of work, so after doing a little online detective work (like every SB should), I came up with his profile on another social network. Everything on there tallied up with his profile on here, and I spent quite a bit of time patting myself on the back. But then I logged into the site to see his full profile, not realising that he would get notification that I’d looked at his profile! Subsequently, he’s looked at my profile – only my first initial, surname and location are on there.
    So what should I do? Should I:
    a – message him and fess up?
    b – message him and keep schtum?
    c – not message him and spend time kicking myself in the ass?

  236. SugarySpicey says:

    Flyr – in so many ways, you are completely correct. He prefers the budget girls because they haven’t been “spoiled” with luxuries like. “Parents” an “education” or “expectations”.

  237. flyr says:

    blog gods please send newbie my contact info

  238. onyx_percula says:

    Blog gods, please share my email with — Newbie Needs Help

  239. flyr says:

    SS wrote “he has the money to buy nice pussy but prefers the budget bang”

    I have had some clients like that. Owned jets and such but insisted on $3 wine “finds” that were as good as the “expensive stuff” Thankfully survived both their wine and flying .

    Spicey – consider that one of his gifts was that he was so obnoxious that he pushed you away before you received a gift from one of his street hookers.

  240. KatPaw says:

    Meow this kitty is some how treading water
    touch.dailymotion.com/video/x1nxkp_aqua-lollipop_music

  241. SugarySpicey says:

    SD-Dazed – just saw your post, thank you – you are right, the pirate is the king of lashing out, he wrote “I hardly think of you at all” which one wouldn’t write if they hardly think if someone, the lack of thought would not occur to them, nor would one care to evicerate someone they never think of.

    It isn’t what he thinks it, it’s that it was the exact right moment for me to hear it. And, to hear it coming from a man who now (I kid you not at all) daily posts pictures of his latest nasty $35 SEAsian victims/prostitutes – he has the money to buy nice pussy but prefers the budget bang. So, you can see why being called bad at your core, and evil would sting. It’s because I find him the worst human I’ve ever met, that it hurts to realize: we are the company that we keep, so I must be rather flawed that I even have a person like that in my life.

    Prior to this website, I would never have brushed up against that sleazy underbelly of vice and abuse.

    Curious where you’re a skeptic. I’m enjoying a period of reflection. Though everyone on the blog knows that my moods shift with the wind, so I can be rather brain-to-type and nothing I write is actually said in the way you hear it. Except for my “evilness” I’ve been told I’m rather sweet and adorable – even the pirate called me that in his message, before he reminded me I’m a minute away from ancient and will shortly be so old that nobody will want me. (I’m 35 afterall).

    Not about him though. He’s an irrelevant bully who seems to have a psychic line into exactly how to shred me, and when to time it to maximize damage. Methinks he watches and reads, wouldn’t you if you knew you were going to be spoken of?

  242. FatBastardSD says:

    @Sasha

    I would say you are an attractive woman but not beautiful. Your profile is written in the style of a dating site profile in that you have a whole list of qualifications that a SD must have. You are not good looking enough to have that kind of profile on SA. Guys become really picky when they are expected to give an allowance. Only focus on what you have to offer a SD in your profile.

  243. Newbie Needs Help says:

    @onyx Re: “On Topic – Tips for new SBs –” and follow up…those were great posts!!! thanks for that 😀
    also i have a meet soon (the first ever) and have a few questions i would not dare post on the blog…any experienced SBs/SDs wanna send over their email?
    thaaaankssss

  244. Elaine says:

    @ SugarySpicey and Richard, thank you, makes me more confident to post again in the future!

    And yes, centimeters iit is ! 😉

  245. Homer says:

    @Richard-You have confirmed what I only believed to be true. Although it sounds nice, in the age of photoshop, I find that the person in the magazine and the person in real life are often quite different. That said, all of the above are out of my league so who am I to judge…

  246. Richard says:

    Regarding “former Playboy model” looks. No offense to anyone, but this could mean a lot of different things. In LA you can’t swing a dead cat without hitting a “former Playboy model.” Having dated four Playboy models, and been married to someone who was on the cover of Playboy, I might be jaded, though. 😐

    It would carry a lot more cachet in Iowa than NYC.

    @Elaine – Your English is great. And I hope you mean your waist size in centimeters, not inches! :)

  247. Sasha says:

    Hello everyone! I am new to this site, I have posted pictures…and I think my profile is pretty decent. However, men are viewing my profile but not messaging me. So what does that mean?? Do I need to do change things up more? Idk.. LoL

    I can take criticism, so any suggestions or advice about my profile I would appreciate it. My profile number is: 1929149

  248. SugarySpicey says:

    Rough day, I feel like I had my tonsils gauged, haven’t really slept in Istanbul, flew in and out of another city today where I had to pretend to be charming and confident all day – I’ll go back to the hotel to shower and pack, three hours sleep, then I’m going home two days early. I really just want to hide inside my pillow case and jump into the Bosphorous.

    Strange what being shredded by a person you have no respect for does.

    Richard, Onyx, Beechie, even Softi (I know you get a semi every time my name appears in the feed) thanks for all the moral support. Last night I completely purged my slutt’n ways from my life. Contacts deleted, photos that would melt Softi’s Popsicle – gone, and I’m turning a new corner.

    I no longer want a part of my life hidden and secret – emotional cockroaches multiply in dark places. I think I justified “what nobody knows doesn’t matter.” But, it matters to me to live a secret, less than admirable double life.

    Elaine – your English is better than most Americans, post away and welcome.

    Babys over 35? As my dad always said: there’s an ass for every saddle.

  249. FatBastardSD says:

    @onyx_percula

    That’s funny! Based on the stories you post I assumed you had assumed Norman Bates persona.

    I am surprised you managed to keep a post to less than 100 lines.

  250. onyx_percula says:

    @ FatBastardSD — I have asked myself several times after reading your BS if you aren’t some right wing religious nut job making all SDs look bad in order to negatively influence peoples opinions and choices. Maybe its just old white man’s disease not run to its ultimate conclusion…

  251. FatBastardSD says:

    @Zack

    I have met a woman with (Playboy) model looks on the site. It is possible.

  252. FatBastardSD says:

    @onyx_percula

    “Men it’s an evolutional reaction to want exclusivity, get over it because its also an evolutional reaction for a woman to have multiple partners.”

    You and flyr should teach at the same university. You guys really like to pontificate on the blog.

    @PriceySpicey
    I never thought I would say it but you are a lot more interesting than the current crop of blog SD’s.

  253. FatBastardSD says:

    “Men it’s an evolutional reaction to want exclusivity, get over it because its also an evolutional reaction for a woman to have multiple partners.”

    You and flyr should teach at the same university. You guys really like to pontificate on the blog.

    @PriceySpicey
    I never thought I would say it but you are a lot more interesting than the current crop of blog SD’s.

  254. DarkHorseSD says:

    As for someone in a situation like spicy, I’m going to say don’t cheer up so fast.

    Take this moment of awareness about yourself to look at those truths, study them deeply. Reevaluate and change into someone you would prefer to be.

  255. DarkHorseSD says:

    I’ve read the advice here and see nothing about what an SB should come prepared with. This is the big gap, not advice to avoid first meets in a dark alley.

    What makes a valuable SB? How can anyone expect legitimate and long term success without skills?

  256. Zack says:

    Wow, that’s…a lot. Maybe one small piece for now, then…

    Really try to avoid desperation. I’m talking to the white knights and gentlemen in leather pants….what do you do when your desperate SB flips from NSA to no sex allowed? And won’t talk about it. Ok, “eject”…but mix “desperate” with “campfire rule” and watch the sugar bowl carbonize. Just don’t do it, or expect it to cost you three fold.

  257. onyx_percula says:

    Ref number of SDs means something — Okay this whole talk of a SB that has X number of SDs is a professional versus just regular old girl, god get your head out of your ass! Welcome to the 21st century. Women have sex, they enjoy it, want to have good sex and lots of it. Enough of this hypocritical double standard for SBs. Men it’s an evolutional reaction to want exclusivity, get over it because its also an evolutional reaction for a woman to have multiple partners.

    What is the difference between a SB that has 5 SDs and an escort? It’s how they treat it, its what they actually do.

    An escort is pretty much going to bang any guy with the price of admission in hand, even if he is 200lbs overweight, sinks like the sewer and looks like he kissed a meat grinder. About the only reason a escort is ever going to say “no” is he wants do something she doesn’t provide. An escort will likely never see the guy again. She might take 5 guys a day or a month an hour at a time. She doesn’t know shit about the guy she is about to fuck until the door opens…

    An SB takes her time, gets to know a pot SD, she chooses the men she sleeps with. She is NEVER taking anyone just because he is willing to meet a price. She is building something beyond sex with him that an escort would cringe at the idea of doing. At some level she cares about this man, she wants to be cared for to. She respects him and he respects her. Ask an escort how many of her clients really respect her… She wants to do all kinds of things outside the bedroom where the typical escort only wants to do something outside the bedroom if she is paid per hour and most won’t even then.

    Old white man’s disease is terminal thankfully!

  258. onyx_percula says:

    On Topic – Tips for new SBs —

    Never meet a pot SD for the first in a “not public” space. Yes Virginia there are evil men in this world would love of abuse you.

    Don’t travel for a first meeting. If he is real and really interested and capable of being a SD, he can come to you. Always meet the first time in a safe place on your own turf of your own choosing or at least you are comfortable with.

    Since first meetings can go really great or really bad, planning something without “holds” is a good idea, like drinks or coffee, no ordering a meal and waiting for it to come and be finished before you feel comfortable leaving.

    Allowance — get enough that you can save a lot of it. Your search for a good SD will likely take time, so what happens when the sugar stops and the search starts again? Having a few months of what you really need saved is a great thing.

    Which brings up the next point — If at all possible NEVER become dependant on the sugar to live! We all know its tough out there and there are a lot of very desperate young girls looking at sugaring as an option. Just think about the things that have crossed your mind that you might have to do to make rent… now think that when the sugar stops and it will, you are right back in the desperate situation again UNLESS you are NOT dependant and have SAVINGS! Desperate young girls do things they regret later…

    SD’s don’t be cheap bastards, either give her enough or don’t bitch if she sees more SDs than you!

    Every woman I have ever known has been able to tell if she would be intimate with a man she meets within a very short period of time and rarely changes her mind. Since most arrangements involve sex, ladies, you aren’t a hooker, if you can’t see yourself having sex with a pot SD, move on. It will be better for both of you if you don’t “take one for the cause”.

    While it can be uncomfortable for both and feel very unnatural talk about sexual expectations early on. There are a lot of kinksters in the sugar bowl… so if you’re not into whips and chains you better check to make sure there aren’t any in your pot SDs bedroom, and it goes the other way around too. You want your 50 shades in sprinkles of sugar? Better make sure daddy is into it too.

    There are no rules to sugaring, other than those you make for yourself. I suggest you make as few as you can just so you don’t miss out on something wonderful. Too many girls come to sugar for the first time saying “ick no one over 45!” because that’s how old their father is… okay we get you don’t want to sleep with your father, but your daddy aint your father! 😉 Girls there are 55 year olds out there that are in better mental and physical shape than some 30 year olds. You are also MUCH more likely to find a nice respectful caring daddy that is 40+ then you are one that is under 40.

    It’s fine to have boundaries between what is your sugar life and the rest of your life. But don’t make your daddy feel like a piece of shit because of it. So for example let’s say you won’t ever be comfortable having your daddy know where you live. So instead of saying something stupid like “You will never know where I live!” when he asks to pick you up, say something like “My sister, mother, friend is staying over, so I can’t.” or something like “I have roommates that i don’t want to know, so you can’t come over”. No one wants to feel like they are someone to be feared or someone that is less than anyone else… so no “I’m sorry I will only do that with my boy friends…”.

    Use this or other blogs as a resource, a place to ask questions, make friends of like mind and similar experiences.

    Lastly in this long ass post… remember you are entering into a real relationship. One that is well defined and limited in nature. But its still REAL! So act like it, don’t think to yourself “I don’t know anything about this! I don’t know what to do!”, bullshit, its dating with limits, so enjoy yourself! Your sugar dating should parallel your RL dating, don’t force it, relax and enjoy the ride!

  259. Zack says:

    FB: What do you think…before checking profile or pics, just scamdar navigation…is Freddie a dream or something else?

    Or, if you have nothing to say…elephant head might come on and start singing 😛
    //www.youtube.com/watch?v=QmY_2RbrdEo

  260. FatBastardSD says:

    @flyr

    “RE 35 and Former Playboy Model – Some of the most successful SB’s are in their mid 30s and beyond. They are here for a while and then gone as they have found LT SD’s or other events in their life. The pool may be less populated but the SD’s are more likely to be real and long term.”

    How do you know any of this? Have you done some sort of market study? My guess is that you are pulling this out of your ass like most of what you say. This blog has become a Tony Robbins motivational seminar.

    @Freddie

    Post your profile number. I would love to see your pictures.

    At that age you can also be included in a lot of things – travel events etc that would be off limits to the bubblegum crowd

  261. Elaine says:

    Hello to all of you!

    I am Elaine, on SA for some time now and since then following this blog with great pleasure. After all this reading, to me it feels like knowing you all well. Never earlier participated in conversations because English is not my native language and I felt a little insecure about it.
    But since my experiences in sugar land are so completely different from most of what I read here, I thought it would be nice to share my experiences. ( Freddie’s request about age triggered me)
    Seems like we are living 2 parallel SA universes! LOL

    To start with:
    AGE: Lets say I am 2x “average” SB’s. (And no, not really looking, or pretending, 10 years younger)
    LOCATION: Remote area, far away from pot. SD’s
    LIFESTYLE : Without talking amounts (sooooo vulgar), my expectations are very high.

    Could it get any worse?
    I can hear you thinking: …..“poor thing, ….mission impossible!”

    Well, to balance age and location fortunally there’s some assets too. 

    I look good (but by no means a PB model!)
    Class and self confidence (the sort of self-confidence and class one can only have gained by the years)
    My IQ superizes my waist size by nearly factor 2 ( but I am slim 😉

    Do I get a lot of messages? No, but the ones I get are mostly serious and high quality.
    Do I meet a lot of Pot’s? No, since it is expensive to fly me in for a first meet.
    (As a great consequence, the ones I met are found in the high income and net worth ranges and never time wasters.)
    Are they always old, ugly, overweight or desperate? No, in fact one would be astonished (including me!) by the handsome, athletic, rich, 25-35 year old -and thus very popular- SD’s looking for an older woman. (Funny thing; they mention in their profile to be looking for a young SB :-)

    Now, isn’t that ironic!?
    I am too old for most SA men my age, and searched for by 25-35 years old….. LOL

    Lucky enough I have been very fortunate to meet some very high quality gentlemen. I am actually in a great relationship with one of them. Without me having to negotiate allowances (which I would never do anyway), they all made sure to take very, very good care of me.
    I am sure none of them has ever felt or treated this like a financial transaction, and there has always been genuine attraction from both parts.

    And no, never been treated or made feeling like an escort, I think a lot depends on your profile and attitude.

    So yes, exclusivity and at times easily 1000 messages a month…. 😉

    Action = Reaction!

  262. Richard says:

    @Freddie – 35 is right in my sweet spot (I’m 49, real age, not Internet age) and I typically use 29 as a lower bound when I’m looking…because I know some women in their thirties will put down 29. Based on what I read on the blog, though, most guys are looking for very young girls (18-25), so keep that in mind. Also, at 35 do not be surprised if you get messages from guys all the way up into their sixties.

    @Sugary – You know what I think…in exhaustive detail…but I’m hopeful you’ll stay on the blog! :)

  263. flyr says:

    RE TRUTH IN PROFILES

    I see it on the horizon, right after truth in politics.

    RE 35 and Former Playboy Model – Some of the most successful SB’s are in their mid 30s and beyond. They are here for a while and then gone as they have found LT SD’s or other events in their life. The pool may be less populated but the SD’s are more likely to be real and long term.

    At that age you can also be included in a lot of things – travel events etc that would be off limits to the bubblegum crowd

  264. SugarySpicey says:

    Thanks all for letting me have my drama day, tomorrow will be drama free and back to being myself. Nothing changed, just a minor set back, or set up for my game winning jump shot.

    Brian – I agree with you on the body type category. Though that’s also subjective, some stick thin girls will still call themselves curvy because they hate their thighs, and vice versa. Welcome.

    Softi – I said that I deleted my profile on SA, and am going on a sugar hiatus. I must stay on the blog so that I can talk to you.

  265. onyx_percula says:

    @ Sugary — You have mail…

    @ Freddie — The only “requirement” is that you are seeking something. Sugar is what you make it! Trust me a mid 30’s former PB model will have a ton of messages her first day on the site.

  266. FatBastardSD says:

    @Brian, NC_Gent

    Finally a bunch of guys posting on the blog.

    @Brian

    Guidelines would not stop a SB about lying, it would just quantify the lie more accurately.

  267. FatBastardSD says:

    @PriceySpicey

    You post a lot for someone leaving the blog. I am sure the blog “SD” sycophants will miss your posts. I can’t say I will but then I am a bastard :-).

  268. Zack says:

    We can take the various videos as viewed, or whatever, but I do like groundhog day, lol.

    Spicy, we’re spinning the blog off into drama again. Sorry if I messed up a swan song, but stick around? Talking things out is a process, and sometimes even that process has to be a goal. Sigh.

    Want to talk about what he’s doing, why you’re doing, or something that is less entertaining? 😛

  269. Zack says:

    We can take the various videos as viewed, or whatever, but I do like groundhog day, lol.

    Spicy, we’re spinning the blog off into drama again. Sorry if I messed up a swan song, but hang around? Talking things out is a process, and sometimes even that process has to be a goal. Sigh.

    Want to talk about what he’s doing, why you’re doing, or something that is less entertaining? 😛

  270. SugarySpicey says:

    Zack – that is the magic question! I emailed him because it was his birthday a day ago, and I heard prayer call, and it reminded me that he would be hearing prayer call too since we’re in the same part of the world. It wasn’t a lack of friends, it was a problem of impulse control.

    Seeking absolution? Yes, I suppose. I always prefer things end at least neutrally, not as viscous as how things with him ended – his last email to me was a list of threats and demands and I’ve spent the past 60 days wondering when/if he was going to destroy my life as he’d threatened. I was trying to groundhog the situation. I’m scared of him. I wanted to know: “do you still hate me so bad you’re threatening me like you did before?” kind of a touch base. Having that over my head had me feeling borderline suicidal, like a rat in a cage whose only option is to gnaw my arm off. At least he seems to have cooled on the threats. All this is my own stupid doing. So yes, I am a masochist. And, I can’t sleep in this noisy hotel for shit.

    Cancelled my Saturday plans, no Austrian Doctor. I’m going home Friday to get right with someone I want to get right with!

  271. Brian says:

    Don’t lie about your weight.

    Perhaps SA could have guidelines for body types similar to those for allowances.

  272. SD-Dazed says:

    @spicey, I’ve been lurking in the blogs for awhile now, and have read most of your posts lately. I have to say, you’re a fascinating character. :) You seem to be a woman with an amazing since of humor and interesting style. I’m not sure I buy into everything you write, but you sure put an interesting prospective on things. About your latest posts, as they say the truth hurts, but only you know your truth ! One thing to keep in mind, when someone is hurt ( I mean emotionally) they tend to lash out. They try to hurt the other person as much as they can, so you will hurt as much as they do. Most of the time they cut right to the deepest part of our soul. So sit back, relax, reflect and make your decisions after it’s set in for awhile. (not to sound like your Daddy,,,but,,LOL)
    The newbie babies need your advice, stay to help them.

  273. Zack says:

    ” I only emailed him in a stupid, lonely, very very low moment of trying to make amends for my past stupidity”

    Perhaps Rome next? That’s what put a bullet in it, Sugary…you were seeking absolution from the Pirate for some reason…don’t let dwelling on his reaction distract you from what you were doing. Was this bad meet so different than the many others? Why are you feeling so down about yourself that you -Turn Back- to a recent hot mess of a relationship?

  274. Zack says:

    Susp, reality check: You didn’t have a good reason to call the P… Your were a bit drunk and you wanted to crow or feel sympathy from someone very bitter at you. Thought you turned that page…but if that’s the best you can turn to in a dark hour…then your main mistake may be making too few real friends. You’re also pretty run down.

    This too, shall pass. I’d ask whether you’re a masochist or drama queen…but not when you’re down, dear 😛

    It won’t take much time to put this tornado into perspective. Here ya go…

    //www.youtube.com/watch?v=E1fzJ_AYajA

  275. SugarySpicey says:

    Thanks guys, I guess it was just unsettling how much animosity he has and the vitriol with which it was delivered. It’s hard to see oneself called an evil slut (especially when the truth is, yeah I once was a slut, but a nice one). Since TP there’s been occasional flirtatious stuff, but I really have just been focusing on the new job and my family as you all know, and haven’t had sex in so long my vagina might be MIA – hence the one extra day here in Istanbul to see a friend, which I don’t even think I’m going to do now I’m feeling so destroyed.

    Truth is, he didn’t say anything more cutting than some of the stuff I’ve written about him, or things I know others would say about me if they knew about this part of my life. The timing was just rough because I only emailed him in a stupid, lonely, very very low moment of trying to make amends for my past stupidity, and feeling disgusted after last night’s debacle (and definitely too much champagne or I never would have emailed).

    It was so stupid of me to message him, and I got exactly what I should have expected. Stupid, stupid, stupid girl! He finished with “I am not your friend.” Which is true, and I already know. I am so stupid, but reading the ice from his words cleanly and clearly washed away any tenderness I ever felt for him, so that’s a very good thing.

  276. Jj says:

    @Flyr: Well put “fact of life”!!!

    Spicey: It’s ok to feel dink’d but not bruised. You are allowing your prior connection with TP to influence your perception of self. He is good at that remember; just as any abuser has done many times over. Chin-up, head high, and walk away. You ARE better than he and not stoup to his level by allowing his implied view negate or take away from whom you know you really are.
    ps: most on this blog know it as well!!!

  277. Eloquence says:

    @ Spicey

    Babygirl, I’m going to put the choir behind this one for you.. (their is a choir in the video) … Listen to Happy by Pharrell Williams.. The Pirate is just in a “mood” because his parrot is not talking back to him and his boat has a slow leak.. :)

    And if you feel low…know you have…ummm..I’m pretty sure an entourage of lookers who would say “Sunshine..she is here, you can take a break!”

    You haven’t lost your Sugar or Spice until you say so..muah!

  278. gtt_envy says:

    @NC Gent, agree with my middle initials aren’t ATM too. This is supposed to fun!! Fun dates, new experiences, not “OMG, please can you wire me some $$$ you won’t believe what happened!!” on a weekly basis.

  279. flyr says:

    NC Gent – Amen, texting, checking messages or excusing yourself for an extended trip to the ladies room, phone in hand are simply not acceptable…… next .

  280. flyr says:

    Spicey – Take a deep breath, two of life’s universal truths

    We’re never as good as we think we are when we are on a roll

    We are never as bad as we think we are when somethings rolled over us

  281. Afri says:

    Thanks guys. It’s just annoying. Lol.

  282. gentle(man)soul says:

    @ Jj

    ” I feel that a SD who requires a monogamous SB, BUT, cannot/will not completely support her in her sugar lifestyle efforts is being selfish ”

    Selfish ? Not if each party communicates up front .

    If a SB needs $ XYZ /month to live ,then she should make it clear up front to her Pot that he must provide that level of support or she will see others to add up to that level –or pass on him until a more generous SD is found .

    On the other hand ,The Pot SD should make his need for monogamy clear up front . Fair is fair .

    If either party is lying about it and it comes up then that is what leads to hurt feeling ,anger ,and frustration with the whole business .

  283. SugarySpicey says:

    Thanks JJ – I really just am completely shattered by the truths of what he was saying. I tried to be a good person, but I got fucked up and then it was a downward spiral of one bad decision after another. Bluurrrgggg! I’ve never felt so awful.

  284. NC Gent says:

    This may come off more as pet peeves than advice but here it goes…

    1) Show up on time, and if you aren’t going to show up on a time (later than 5 minutes) send a text to let the person know you are arriving late. This applies to every interaction not just sugar dating. If you consistently show up late, it tells me that you are a poor planner and don’t respect me and my time… that somehow you are more important than my time.

    2) Post representative pictures on your profile – everyone posts the most flattering pictures – I understand that, but if you post pictures that are severely outdated and are 20+ pounds ago, it is going to be a waste of time for everyone.

    3) Don’t constantly check your phone – it screams that you aren’t interested in me. Your facebook, instagram, twitter, snapchat, etc accounts all can wait until after the date. If you have someone that may contact you in an emergency, almost all phones have the capability to sound a unique notification so you don’t miss something really important. I was on a sugar date Friday evening, and between acts of the concert we had about 45 minutes… she was so busy texting, facebooking, etc that I could hardly get her attention…. finally I started sending her text messages so she might communicate with me — that worked — we finally could “talk.” She seemed surprised at the end of the night when I told her I didn’t think we were a good match.

    4) Be considerate of boundaries that have been established. I recognize that you cannot always respond right away, so respect that I may not always be able to respond right away… few things are more annoying than… why haven’t you responded? (I think both SBs and SDs agree to that).

    5) Be flexible — things change, things happen… probably not very acceptable at the beginning, but most successful men are very busy and have things that come up. Don’t take it personally unless it gets to be a pattern.

    6) My initials aren’t ATM – enough said there :)

    Ok — sorry for my rant —

  285. Jj says:

    Spicey: Chin up! Know you are not “off track”, just have slightly derailed. You are a strong dynamic woman and now’s the time to roar!!!!

    @Rob: Just reflecting from the last blog post of SB expressing her intent to live the full sugar life with support of preferably one SD; however, current SD was unable to fulfill that requirement and felt he had to end it because of her need for additional support. Apparently was not frankly discussed in establishing the arrangement.

  286. SugarySpicey says:

    Thanks SD-Rob! I am definitely a girl who likes to love with nothing held back. But, I’ve also made some huge mistakes in my romantic life that I will always regret – and he used all of them against me, and told me that people would call me an evil person, that I’m manipulative, neglectful, and “bad” at my core. Just really cut to the quick, especially considering I only sent the Happy Birthday because I was already feeling low.

    I talk tough, but I’m actually a huge push over when I’m in love, and men can take advantage of that. I was more open with him about my faults and flaws then I’ve ever been with anyone, and together he and I escalated the worst in each other so all of those flaws multiplied when I was with him, and because he made me think he liked my bad side.

    He is the single biggest regret of my entire life, except for the awareness I’ve now gained from how awful I feel in this moment.

  287. SD-Rob says:

    @ Freddie – 35 is great IMO as I have mentioned before. I’m sure many will be after you. But know what you are looking for as you get into this.

  288. SD-Rob says:

    Spicey- sorry to hear that. You seem to be too givng in your intimate life. If you want someone to talk to offline you can have my email address from Blog Gods. Best of luck

  289. SugarySpicey says:

    I deleted my account. I’m done with sugar, going on a complete personal purge. I (feeling lonely and vulnerable after another in the creepy disgusting experience that can be sugar) stupidly emailed the pirate to say happy birthday. He responded with the harshest, most awful, but true, things anyone has ever said to me.

    I can honestly say I have never felt so completely low as I have since reading his message. It was all I could think about during my lunch meeting, and I couldn’t eat anything. I threw up as soon as I got back to the room.

    I’ll probably still weigh in on the blog occasionally to protect new SBs from getting taken advantage of. But, I’m done being “Spicey” and I just want to figure out how I got so off track.

  290. SugarySpicey says:

    SD – Rob – an Italian Jewish Turk, a Jerk, lol.

  291. Homer says:

    @Freddie–“Does age matter?” There are no age, race, body type requirements for this site. Like in real life, people’s preferences differ. As for your past as a model, I can only generalize, but guys who seek out model types probably stick to ones in their prime. You’ll definitely find someone on here, but like everyone else,you’ll have to be patient and look for the right one

  292. SD-rob says:

    Sugary- are you saying that the Turkish banker turned out to be Italian?!

  293. flyr says:

    @Freddie – Turkey’s an amazing place. Istanbul is far safer than many large American cities. However, our sensors may not be tuned to the culture.

  294. SugarySpicey says:

    Afri – sugar is a numbers game. For every 100 messages sent/received expect 5 actual meetings resulting in one actual click, which only turns into an arrangement 50% of the time. It happens, but you will have to patiently go through a LOT of frogs first.

  295. SugarySpicey says:

    Freddie – your comment is ignorant and ill informed. First, Turkey has secular leadership since Ataturk and applied for membership to the EU almost a decade ago. Second, I wasn’t here for sugar, I was here for work. With the exception of the Saudi factory owners I’ve met, everyone had been delightful. I met with the Consulate commercial services office on day one, and they reinforced my extensive independent research on this topic.

    That in mind, I decided that since I was here, with a few days to kill, I might as well have dinner with someone interesting and used SA as a meeting pool. I ended up meeting an Italian asshole who wanted to play big shot while acting small time, but that had nothing to do with religious or cultural differences, just a selfish prick acting accordingly.

    Flyr: he arrived at 1 on a flight from Ankara and we had a delightful time I posted about an hour into the evening, before I told him I wouldn’t go back to his place in his Range Rover, 45 minutes from the city. Turns out he was the typical, selfish, creep guy who tried to get a BJ in the car because he’d bought a couple bottles of bubbly. I ended up safely in one piece and had a nice evening until he became a pompous “don’t you know how many options I have” ass.

  296. FatBastardSD says:

    @Afri

    It is no different than real life or a real dating site actually.

    An example:
    Lots of guys are more than happy to get you pregnant. Getting them to stick around and support you is the hard part.

    The allowance is the SD supporting you, which is why most SD’s loose interest very quickly.

    • SD Guru says:

      Re: The blog topic
      “What tips would you give a newbie Sugar Baby?”

      In addition to the “Sugar Dating Tips” section on the right side of the blog’s homepage, here’s my “Tips for Newbies” post which is a compilation of tips I’ve written over the years. Also, check out my “Sugardaddy Chronicles” blog for more.

      @SD-Rob (from previous blog)
      “That is whether SB should let SD know if she might be dating outside of sugar life? I don’t see why not but don’t want to spook mine. Any advice is appreciated.”

      Most sugar relationships are NSA, and for NSA the best policy usually is don’t ask don’t tell. When you started your arrangement did you have a clear understanding with your SB that it will be NSA? Here’s the “What is NSA?” article in my blog.

  297. Afri says:

    Ok guys I need advice. I have not been having the easiest time as an SB. I’m in Boston and it’s so bad I’m beginning to think it’s because the men here just don’t prefer black women.. I’m African. Anyway I get men who message me who have no pictures and then when I ask..because obviously I would like to be attracted to them before I agree to anything, they don’t message me back. I’ve had two men exchange numbers with me and make plans to meet or speak and they disappear. Like they loved pictures and wanted to speak and nothing. I don’t understand. I know I’m attractive and it isn’t because I possibly came off the wrong way because I barely was able to say much. My profile was a bit wordy and extensive so I shortened it. I don’t understand. It’s like on this site I’m not getting a response when in real life or a real dating site I get tons of messages. What the hell am I doing wrong lol

  298. Freddie says:

    1st comment: I can’t believe you would go alone to a muslim country , let alone any foreign country , with a stranger ! You have a death wish! You girls need to be smart not dumb. I hope you find the us consulate or someone to protect you. They hate western women there!!! Be careful.
    Question:
    I don’t see any requirements for sugar babies. Are there any, like age range etc? I’m an ex playboy model but I’m 35 and just heard about this site. Does age matter?
    Thanks

  299. UpbeatSB says:

    Advice to new SBs:

    Read this whole blog, side tips, archives, all of it. Oookay, lol, maybe not…well at least read as much you can (jump around, checking out various, colorful views and well-intentioned advice) until you have gathered enough knowledge to feel more confident, or even to just not feel alone. Lots and lots of wise and caring people come on this blog and are kind enough to share their experiences, opinions and ideas. And bicker good-naturedly at times. 😉

    Always, always listen to your intuition; go with your gut. It never lies. Old cliche, but still a goodie. Mine has screamed at me a couple of times, to where I almost felt sick. I’d much rather have happy butterflies (good nerves) when I’m in a man’s company for the first time.

    Before I started on this site several years ago, I first read Brandon Wade’s book to get a basic idea. Then I wrote out two different lists– what I hoped to gain from being on the site (goals, interests, desires), and what I believed I could happily give an outstanding SD (what could I bring to the bed, er, table? 😉 What makes me unique and a great catch that I could give another?). Then I finally developed and posted my profile…and found this blog. It’s been a very interesting ride, and at times struggle ever since! Mostly positive however.

    (BTW, you don’t have to do any of the above that I did…they’re just ideas and my own experience.)

    Have fun and know that we are here for you if you need to vent or ask questions! :)

  300. blondie says:

    @Flyr I met a potential SD recently and before we met up, I got the feeling from his emails he was looking for a girlfriend, so I said this was not something I was looking for at this particular time, he said no he was not looking for anything serious. Met up and he is TOTALLY looking for a girlfriend, immediately he wanted to bring me to a friends birthday party overseas and introduce me to his friends. I couldn’t help but notice he kept referring to his friends as ‘great couples’. Warning bells went off immediately. Money didn’t even come into the mix as it was all kinds of wrong !

  301. flyr says:

    There’s no doubt the allowance and a clear understanding of the details is important, but it’s also important to assess the potential SD as he relates to what you want and what you don’t want in a relationship. It’s also important that you understand his expectations and that any significant conflicts or gaps be resolved.

    I think there’s an exception to the first meeting rule where there has been a lot of talk prior (usually due to distance) and the only real question is if there’s some flaw that will be evident on meeting. However, it’s like an advanced acrobatic maneuver, not for neubie SBs

  302. blondie says:

    oh, and BTW, I would never, ever give it up on a first date. Men love the chase. Make them want it and work for it a little bit ( not in a cruel way obviously)

  303. blondie says:

    Ok, newbies, listen up…. don’t make the mistakes I made early on…..make sure your monthly or weekly allowance is VERY CLEAR< It's hard, because when I tried to bring it up with my sugar daddy initially, he would say " oh don't worry about that, we'll talk about it later…" I would say… "hmm, no lets sort it out now"… you need to be very clear about what your financial needs are…. he would say to me" I'll lodge a couple of hundred for you tomorrow" ( I'm thinking, great 400-500, he lodges 250 ! Nooo !!!) BE VERY SPECIFIC. You are worth it. You are giving up your time and providing a girlfriend experience, listening to his problems, offering advice and then some… know your worth and aim high ! ( Not crazy high though unless you look like Gisele Bundschen lol) He will respect you more for it in the end, otherwise, he's on the wrong website 😉

  304. SD-Rob says:

    @ Homer- Agree with you . I would not recommend jumping into bed on the first date with a SD, unless the $ is the attraction and then that fits some of the SBs. But make sure you do get the $$ no matter which date before giving it up!

  305. SD-Rob says:

    Sugary- be careful ! :) Hope all goes well!

  306. SD-Rob says:

    @Jj- I do not understand your comment. Are you saying that her needs to have a second SD for example (when she herself has indicated that she only wants one) is something the first SD should support?!
    Or are you saying that if one SD cannot provide enough sugar then the SB is free to find a second to complement the first in terms of $ ?
    In my case, my SB asked for one SD and an exclusive arrangement, since she did not want either one of us to jump around. I have provided her the support she asked for and more, and have stopped jumping around from SB to SB which became an easy thing to do and a bad habit for a while for me. Given the circumstances, where I am devoting considerable investment and I mean mainly in time, in addition to $ to her, given her request, would it be OK for her to seek out a second SD, or entertain dating outside of sugar (I will not use the terms IRL, since sugar is indeed real life!). One does not want to be played and maybe it takes some time to establish enough trust, but Treasured story of suddenly meeting someone is the reality check for a SD who has accepted an exclusive arrangement. Of course, I have no reason really to believe that she is not sticking by her proposal and word, given a number of indicators but one is always a bit concerned when you invest much of your free energy into this.
    BTW, I have no issues if she comes to me and says that the monogamy that she proposed and I readily and gladly accepted is not what she wants anymore.Then I know where I stand. Maybe an exclusive arrangement is just too much of a headache, but I hate to make it otherwise yet for her sake mainly.

  307. flyr says:

    spicey – if my conversion is right it is 2AM (GMT-2) and he is just showing up

  308. SugarySpicey says:

    OMFG! I may be in for more than I can handle! It appears he’s legit. They’ve shut down half the bar so we won’t be bothered, and he knows what I posted. So I teased him I’m going to live-blog it all, anonymously, from the ladies, where security is guarding the door, Eeek?!?!. Lol. This will most definitely be a night.

  309. Jj says:

    SugarSpicey: “Ditto” on the eew and be careful out there!!!

  310. flyr says:

    “I feel that a SD who requires a monogamous SB, BUT, cannot/will not completely support her in her sugar lifestyle efforts is being selfish.”

    I would say he simply made a bad choice given his objectives or requirements.

    Exclusivity – quality – budget pick any two……..

    There’s also the little matter of the self inflating “need” for sugar which is just set at 130% of the present level regardless of what that is.

  311. SugarySpicey says:

    Eww – he just sent an “On the way, I want you!” text. I’m all for kinky but NOT impressed. Thinking of heading back to my room, sans meet.

  312. SugarySpicey says:

    JJ – words to my ears!

    Treasured – happy for you! Best of luck!

  313. SugarySpicey says:

    Sitting in a rather chic bar in Istanbul, drinking a ridiculously expensive glass of champagne bought by a drunk and brooding soccer/football player, waiting for the Turkish banker – who Google says is legit. I believe those around me think I’m an Eastern Euro prostitute (probably the waist-length blonde hair and knee-high boots in a Muslim country). Hmmm, how will the evening play out? Hopefully not with me sold into white slavery!

  314. Jj says:

    From previous post:
    I feel that a SD who requires a monogamous SB, BUT, cannot/will not completely support her in her sugar lifestyle efforts is being selfish. Knowing you have a sweet SB who wants to live the lifestyle and chose you as her Daddy; why would the SD think she would not choose her second SD to complement you, after all she chose you and she is not “whoring/escorting” herself, unless you treat her as such. It IS mutually beneficial and her wants, needs, desires, are ever as important as yours.

  315. gtt_envy says:

    @SD-Rob, I agree and have many of your same sentiments about the sugar life……no easy answer what do we do? Quit or just let it be, right?

    As for the blog topic my advice would be:

    9 out of 10 guys are fake!! Screen well and always hold your potential SD’s the credo of “Actions speak louder than words!”

    Best of luck 😉

    @Treasured, happy for you 😉

  316. Treasured says:

    From the previous blog.

    Onyx, you got it right 😀 I am dying to tell 😀 But, I can’ t 😀 :(

    Let’s say, that to all those who stopped believing in love/monogamy/being accepted despite bad, worse and ugly, my case just gives hope 😀

    Anyways, wishing you ALL the best of luck and hope that all of you will find eventually what you are looking for. Be it Sugar or real love or real love coming from Sugar 😀

  317. Homer says:

    I’m gonna disagree here. Not that I haven’t been with someone on the first date, I don’t think the best advice is to give up so soon. Obviously if you’re both feeling good about it fine, but it shouldn’t be an expectation.
    If a guy is going to bail after one meet that doesn’t end up with sex and start looking around, she probably doesn’t want to be in an arrangement with him anyway. That kind of guy is just looking for low hanging fruit, banging anything he can in a P4P situation. There are SDs out there that are looking for more than just to get off and it is worth taking the time to find that person. That said, if a SB is never going to look farther than the guys wallet, bang on!

  318. gentle(man)soul says:

    It’s always good to be first !

    ” What tips would you give a newbie Sugar Baby? ”

    If you like the Pot Daddy at the M&G wrap him up on the first date . He will not think worse of you .

    The male/female ratio is low ,so there is much competition for a Daddy . The more dates he goes on the higher the likelihood that he will find someone else . Don’t be coy . Sex is good for all and 99 % of Daddies are looking for it as soon as possible. Being too easy does not apply in the Sugar World since most guys are not looking for a wife here .

    Just my humble opinion LOL

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