3 years ago
Sweet Resolutions For A Happy New Year

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It’s about that time, folks. When we take a look back at the year we’ve had, and complain about all the things we wished happened differently. But luckily, we were pretty blessed this year, so we won’t do that. Instead, how about another cliche list of resolutions for your new year?

SA Resolutions

1. Tell the truth

We always have this tendency to lie when it comes to working towards getting what we want in life. Whether that means fibbing on your dating profile, or about the number of sexual partners you have had to your doctor.. a lie is a lie. Strive to be more truthful in 2014.

2. Seek Mutually Beneficial Arrangements, Everywhere.

It’s nice to get back as much as you put in in a relationship. Why not translate that into the business world, or in your other relationships? You only get what you give, and a new perspective on life, love and business could be exactly what you need to take things up a notch in the new year.

3. Have more sex.

I don’t know about you, but it seems like this year everyone had less sex than last year. I don’t care if you believe in meaningless, no strings attached sex or committed relationship-only sex. Just have more of it. Period. I promise you will be happier.

4. Be more self indulgent.

Everybody loves to get healthy in the new year, start a budget, be gluten free.. but what about actually giving into your senses every now and again?  Eating at five star restaurants, sipping expensive wine and buying those expensive shoes (or maybe just receiving them as a gift..) are on my list of things to actually do this year. You only live once, so eat the cheesecake.. at least every once in awhile.

Happy New Year everyone!

What are your new year’s resolutions? Are the same as last year’s? 

 

 

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232 Responses to “Sweet Resolutions For A Happy New Year”

  1. Zack says:

    Alas, slow…Sugary has moved south for greener pastures, at last report.

  2. Vixen says:

    @Flyr , Zack, Bastian, Sugaryspicey

    This is a very late reply. I wanted to say thank you for the feedback on my question a few post ago. I appreciate you guys sharing information like this , and I’m sure a few others feel the same way. Cheers!

  3. onyx_percula says:

    @ Newbie Needs Help — Keep in mind there might be times you will have to use your real name, airlines, some hotels/resorts they are going to want your ID and if they get a false name from your SD then you give em something else it won’t be stripper names you need to worry about.

    I’m not good with sneaking around and such, maybe one of the girls has some better input.

  4. Natalia says:

    @ Newbie – that’s exciting. Good luck! Make sure you have good photos and profile. There are a lot of tips on good profiles on the archives here so I would do some research on that if you’re serious.

  5. Natalia says:

    @SugarySpicey the photo thing is no longer the case. I know it was when I was looking at the ‘profiles like mine’ option, but they took that away, at least from what I’ve seen recently. I will need to get google voice though if I go back into the search pool in the future.

  6. Newbie Needs Help says:

    I meant Tues >.<

  7. Newbie Needs Help says:

    ps. meeting my first POT SD on Saturday kinda exciteeeed…on another note I need more POTS…. 5 days in, 129 views, 8 contacts :'( what am i doing wrong? mm prolly profile description

  8. Newbie Needs Help says:

    @Sugary oh man I didnt know SBs could see your pics, will have to reconsider having my private pics up…not that many SBs are probably checking me out but still….
    @Onyx well I dont even like my name so maybe it’s time to have fun with it…now I just need to think of something that doesn’t scream stripper and that I can remember.

    mm I would give my name, birth date (just so you can get me gifts ;)) but never my full name or work address…i’d share a lot of personable stuff, but not identifiable things…unless we have been together for yrs

  9. onyx_percula says:

    @ Newbie Needs Help — There is no reason not to give your real first name, there is no reason to give your last name at all.

    I guess the rest depends on your motivation, discretion or safety or both.

    I have seen so many different ways to handle this… I have met girls that never consider coming to my home and others that never go anywhere else and every where in between.

    Oddly enough the woman that ripped me off big time last year I know so much about her, all of it freely given to me over the course of things. I have her SSN, DOB, mother’s maiden name, her parents addresses and numbers. Her bank account and PIN number, her common password and confirmation Q&A she uses.

    And the one that was one of most genuine I have met I know virtually nothing about her. I have no idea where she lives, I know where she works, her cell number and her sugar email address and her bday month and day only. I know her full name. That’s it.

    Make sense of that, I can’t.

    So I will tell you the same thing I told hundreds of girls when I taught them self defense, trust your gut, it’s likely the only you can trust.

  10. SugarySpicey says:

    Natalia – I have a throw away email and a Google voice account attached to that email account, I don’t put pictures of my face on SA (even if you mark them private other SBs can see ALL your photos). I use my real name though, when I give it, but I try not to give my last name.

  11. Natalia says:

    @Newbie – yes this is a fake name, email and I hear google voice is a great tool to get a new number to connect to your phone and it’s free, but I have yet to take a look

  12. Newbie Needs Help says:

    @Rob in RL I would never date more than one person and it would take usually about a month of hanging out to sleep with although i usually know the person for longer and just progresses into it…in sugar well i have no idea what to do yet…havent met anyone in person yet..just out of curiosity how many SB do u have?

    @All SB do you use a fake name when u introduce yourself to SDs? how do u handle the cellphone # thing?

    @onyx with me “the panties hot the floor when the sugar flows” i wont accept allowance unless i see intimacy as a strong posibility but no one is riding this pony for free if i wanted that i’d get a BF

  13. mike says:

    @sweetie…..me mikey, no foreigner ya. Me mikey American ya…..there…..lol

  14. sweetie says:

    Hahaha! That’s funny. I think Mike might be a foreigner.

  15. Zack says:

    Mikey likes it. “Games” are a learning format, too.

    “I guess as time goes by ill get to see if he’s just a spoiled mess or if he’s trying to push to see my potential” …
    I’d think both. Stay polite, not distant…and keep an eye on the exit. Help the next one you meet “test” potential and “click” without pushing as a bully, but helping as an interested pot mentor. 😀 Be responsible for the people in your world…you first.

    … Christie said. “I am who I am, but I am not a bully.” … 😛

  16. mike says:

    My dear sugary….me no tough….just a little pup……than let the games begin…..lol. You kill me sugary…What shall we call this game and of course sweetie can play…..don’t want him left out…..lol. :)

  17. SugarySpicey says:

    Sweetie – now Mikey’s playing tough, he doesn’t understand the game. :p

  18. mike says:

    @sweetie, no one can make me drool, not even sugarey. @surgery no big deal about e-mail.

  19. Kit says:

    Homer – I agree with you. My treatment is something I will not compromise on. And concerning #4 ….how can I ask him to sugar me if all we do IS call and text? I dont want him to get the impression that I’m just for the sugar and after I get it then I’m gone. We really connect and I would hate for him to get the wrong idea of my intentions.

    Zack – I can see your point. Maybe he does have a good eye and I can appreciate bluntness and brutal honesty but I won’t tolerate rudeness. I guess as time goes by ill get to see if he’s just a spoiled mess or if he’s trying to push to see my potential.

    Onyx – we have already come to a mutual agreement that we would meet next month, giving us both time to get comfortable. He is flying me out and he has made it clear that no ey is no object. Whether this be true or not, I do not know yet. He seems very understanding of the costs of trips but if he’s able to budget them, I don’t know that either. If he can not theniI’ll have to respectfully break any arrangements we make. And the behavior, I will not compromise. I believe that you treat others as they treat you and no amount of sugar is worth the abuse.

    Sugary – I’m sure it could be quite entertaining, I just have to hold back from laughing in his face if he starts acting like a man child lol!

    @Everyone! Thank y’all for the help and tips! Y’all are amazing!!!!

  20. Homer says:

    There are a few like that in my area as well, although not quite as brazen. However, for every one of those girls, there’s some chump out there stupid enough to shell out $$$$ for the hope that if they hang around long enough, she’ll come around and get intimate. I would bet that for every 10 profiles like that, 2 or 3 get some kind of response. Never underestimate a horny dude with an ATM card

  21. onyx_percula says:

    So I just have to laugh sometimes when I do a search and see new SBs in my area.

    I seen one where she describes herself as very pretty or attractive several times. She is on SA looking for a job, nothing sexual. Why SA? Because a lot of business owners are here so it a good place to be seen…

    And another other with a headline of “Just want money” where she goes on to describe how she is a single mother of a 5 year old in school full time and working part time and “just wants money, maybe dinner or movies, nothing in person if possible, nothing physical!!!”.

    Another listing her expectations as “highest” is 18, who is looking for a cyber relationship “where we txt email (no phone calls) and skype at most twice a month” oh and the part that truly made me LMAO “I’m worth it!”.

  22. sweetie says:

    Oh, Sugary, he’s already drooling, hahaha! Put him out of his misery, or should you let him suffer?

  23. SugarySpicey says:

    Kit et. Al – Asshole SDs can be totally entertaining, if you don’t take them too seriously, they’re just big babies who need to be chastised.

    Mikey, Tikey – you think I’m just going to give up my email address? 😉

  24. onyx_percula says:

    Who is our regular FL SD here, sorry CRS…

  25. onyx_percula says:

    @ Kit — No rules in sugar… my two fav sugar sayings… “Sugar is what you make it!” and “The sugar flows when the panties hit the floor”.

    So as NC Gent says, do what is good for you two. Every arrangement is unique.

    An all too common scam of “SBs” is to do everything except be intimate to get an allowance. As a result many SDs have adopted one way or another the “sugar flows when the panties hit the floor” idea to protect themselves.

    The keys to a long distance arrangement is access. The SD has to be able to travel or the SB has to be able to travel. So that is time and the resources in addition to any allowance. At a minimum getting to or bringing an SB in is going to cost $750 and food and fun and you are at $1k just in expenses. That could easily be $2k depending on a lot of factors. Now add multiple visits a month plus an allowance and you are easily starting to push the $5k a month budget. So consider this when looking at a long distance pot SD, can he really afford to drop $60k a year to see you a few days a month?

    The best long distance arrangements are the ones that align with business travel that the SD is going to take regardless of who he sees when he gets there, often at company expense. It’s a lot easier to afford a allowance when you don’t also have to cover all the expenses related to travel…

    A quick word to you on pot SDs. NEVER tolerate rude behavior. If he is being an ass in messages how do you think he is going to be when its time for sex? I know the need for allowance versus the scarcity of SDs makes for a situation where compromising your expectations and just plain common human needs becomes easier, just don’t do it!

  26. Zack says:

    I question why he wants an inexperienced baby in the first place. Wouldn’t they be harder to transition? Aren’t they more unpredictable?
    ——
    Don’t sell yourself short. Most SB candidates are not of a caliber that would or could post here. Olympus has a self-selecting character…being said…

    Maybe he just has a good eye 😀

    …www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=vgiLWNgpXiQ

  27. Homer says:

    Kit-You can compromise on the type or amount of allowance you want, but you should NEVER compromise on how you want to be treated by a SD. Going back to your original post, I think POTs 1,2 and 3 are all out. 4 is still possible, but only if he starts demonstrating his ability to provide some sugar in some form, otherwise he’s just a guy emailing and phoning you endlessly for free. Wait for the arrangement that works for you on every level.

  28. Kit says:

    Sugary – I knew there was an ugly reality to the lifestyle, I just didn’t realize until you put it like that. I know if I want the sugar then I’m gonna have to compromise and come to mutual agreements. I just dont want to be treated bad.

  29. SugarySpicey says:

    Kit – 50% (or more) of the men on the site don’t want an SB, they want a GF they don’t have to be particularly nice to (hence the $ugar). Never take it for granted the POT you’re talking to is actually looking for an SB an understands what that means.

  30. Kit says:

    Zack – Thank you for pointing that out. I have been feeling that from him but as all humans do, maybe he was having a bad day or maybe he’s just used to things being a certain way/order. We have not made arrangements yet so he should have no reason to fuss about things “owed” or “promised”. I can tell he’s very confident about himself but I question why he wants an inexperienced baby in the first place. Wouldn’t they be harder to transition? Aren’t they more unpredictable? I plan to continue to take very careful baby steps into this and see how it goes. I’m not a SB because I’m in desperate need of money, I’m a SB cause I want to spoil while being spoiled. I will not tolerate disrespect or being taken advantage of. If I wanted that then I would go back to dating.

  31. Zack says:

    Kit…careful with #3, it sounds like he’s probably new and a short step from a frustrated anger. He’s not sure how to rope you into what he desires, and your “timid” nature will come across as defensive…he’ll get angry and stew over things “owed” or “promised”; you’ll counter with “expected” or just “how do you feel cheated…”

    If you feel that pattern developing, gracefully disengage before it gets ugly. But…if “you’re on the same page…” then I’m not :) Just be cautious…”new” and “angry” are a bad pair.

    Your perspective is probably changing and growing every week…in a few months, a lot of “learning experiences” you’re going to have won’t make it past your scamdar…but for now, small steps dear….

    oh, on that note…The Aurora is expected to head south tonight…
    …www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=M17fBVcq634

  32. Kit says:

    NC – Thank you and I completely agree. I want to please my SD but also not be taken advantage of at the same time. As I said I am new to this. I have been taking my time and doing my research. But who knows better than the individuals that have experience?! I’m very nervous that with the distance, he may eventually grow tired of the lack of visits, find another SB who is closer, and I will be replaced. I know our relationship will most likely not last forever but I see myself being extremely lucky to find such a great POT SD in the short amount of time that I’ve made myself available.

    Sugary – I’m very honest when I say that it was completely unintended. On our phone conversation, my daughter walked in and he heard her call me Momma. He completely went nuts over the fact I had children and it freaked me out. I am clearly seeing that he may not be the SD for me. None of my other POT SD will know I have kids because #1 they will not be meeting them and #2 my children are my own concern and not theirs. That is something I’m very strict about. Thank you for clearing the allowance up for me.

  33. SugarySpicey says:

    Kit – for many $ugar is an allowance, and then there are some girls (like me) who prefer gifts. But arrangements come in all forms. #3 is a huge red flag. In the future, try NOT to tell POTs about your kids, too many of them are NOT nice people and will use that information badly in a number of ways.

  34. NC Gent says:

    Kit — there are no rules with sugar. Almost every sugar relationship is different so do you what works for you. As far as your list of pot SDs, only #4 seems legitimate to me. I had a long distance sugar relationship, and we worked it out. It was a combination of financial supports, gifts, travel and entertainment. You need to find someone that you truly enjoy being with or this is going to be like a job that you might regret. For being on the site 2 weeks, and having some legitimate options, you are doing well. It takes a while to find a good match.

  35. SugarySpicey says:

    Tru Softi B, you can set your sites wherever you like, and the SA Gods will eventually reward you, if you can bide your time and calibrate your expectations.

    Mike – This girl is only seeing the world under her own steam lately, no man to thank for anything, on my way to Europe/Asia in T-8 and damn proud if it!

  36. FatBastardSD says:

    @Mike,

    Are you sure you are a 50 year old man? Getting advise from Pricey Spicey!

    Let’s be blunt here. A nice BF is affectionate and compassionate a lot of the time. For many women a BF is someone who sends a text asking his GF to come over for a booty call and then takes out money from his GF’s purse to go drinking with the boys leaving his GF to log onto SA to get money for next months rent.

  37. Mike says:

    Like to thank all who have advise and shared their opinions. Very kind of you to taking the time and share your thoughts. I see that there is lot to learn here. Also, I see being in a SD/SB relationship is different then dating. SugarySpicey thanks. Wonderful woman! If I had the money I would take you see the wonders of the world, and a trip to space……oh well

  38. SD-Rob says:

    @ Natalia – interesting blog. Also that interesting philosophy about sleeping with a SD much faster than IRL. Again, that has been my experience that almost all SBs are in bed by the second date if we “click”. Also, curious as to what you have been offered regarding allowance given all the questions here.
    @DelloTT- yes being a SD can be quite expensive. $5000 per month is not the norm for me, but I have been at $2500-3000 per month easily since becoming a SD, just in allowance $ !

  39. SugarySpicey says:

    Mike – umm, affection, compassion, and mentoring is dating, not $ugar dating. EVERY guy says he offers that. I’m not really seeing an “arrangement” there other than a guy trying to date out if his league.

    Lay it out on the table or expect a LOT of messages with no replies and a lot of annoyed SBs who feel like you’re wasting their time.

    I hate it when 50 year old guys message me thinking “I’ll take you to nice restaurants and pontificate on your life” means being a sugar daddy – No, that’s a boyfriend. If I wanted a boyfriend I’d be on Match.

  40. Eloquence says:

    @ sweetie-Zack – Thank you, I am an admirer from afar.

    @ Zack – (upon my search of your link) I found a line fitting for reply via (classic literature) — in the current of the winds — “Where every flower rises to do her homage, till the whole field becomes enameled and colours contend with sweets which shall ravish her most.”

  41. SouthernSB says:

    BTW, thanks everyone!! I knew this was the place to come for great advice. You all are priceless!!

  42. SouthernSB says:

    Now the part about the money, I knew it seemed to good to be true, that’s why I devised the purse and the token amount enclosed. As for getting the purse to me, I live in a security building with locked doors and even If I give him my pseudonym and don’t tell him my apt. number the gift will still get to me, due to the fact that my mailman knows who I am and always gets my mail to me even when my name is spelled wrong and my apt. number isn’t on my packages. I’ll bring it up again and see what he says, if he hedges, I’ll know to just pass.

  43. Natalia says:

    Southern – how would he send you the purse? He’d need to know your name and address to do that and that could be potentially unsafe as well. I agree that it sounds sketchy.

  44. Kit says:

    I would seriously like some experienced advice as to my POT SDs. I have been on SA for around 2 weeks and have been contacted by 7 SDs so far. 3 of which I respectfully declined because they didn’t strike my interest and I’m wasn’t going to waste either of our time or take advantage. So I was left with 4. All of who I decided to be my POT SD. Here they are:
    #1 has not much sugar to give.
    #2 when setting arrangements he strictly talked about sex and stated that he will not give any allowance until AFTER date 5. I can understand a SD to not want to be taken advantage of but I do not think that to be fair for me as a SB. Especially if he expects me to be intimate with him on all 5 dates. He will only visit once a month for 2-3 days. Does that or does than not mean that there will be no allowance until after 5 months?
    #3 seems to be somewhat of a controller and doesn’t seem to get my timid nature about starting this. We’re both on the same page about what we’re looking for in our relationship. He wants an exclusive SB and I do understand his purposes but he comes off a bit rude with some of his request. How do i get him to soften up when asking of me? I am a very gentle gal and I dnt see the need of rudeness because that will only turn me away from being everything he’ll ever need in a SB. And I do have children. Since I’ve told him this, he has been persistent about meeting them and spoiling them also. How do I handle that? I’ve just started and we haven’t even made arrangements yet. Plus I worry about my children’s safety a lot more than to just parade them around strange men.
    #4 Is my favorite!!!! Were both into one another, we click, and even phone calls and texts are just as exciting to give as they are to get! BUT he lives in Las Vegas and I in Louisiana. We plan to meet soon but how would/could we make the best arrangements when our distance is so far apart? I’m just new to this but I’m catching on and that’s mostly because I know what I’m looking for in a SD and my realationship with him. And is there some rule about only getting sugar or only getting allowance? Or can both be given? I need as close to a 1.00$ as I can get so everyone is welcome to put their 2¢ in. Thank y’all!

  45. NC Gent says:

    SouthernSB — sounds to good to be true, huh? As you suggested, there is likely some type of fraud play going on here…. they send you the check, but want to send some of it back and then the check doesn’t clear. Another ploy… they want to deposit the money into your checking account… which they actually do… unfortunately, before you can get the money, someone with a fake id, and your account number shows up at another branch of the same bank and withdraws the money… this is a money laundering technique or a way to transfer money into the U.S. under the radar. I think you will see the truth in how they react to your request.

  46. DelloTT says:

    “@DelloTT- interesting question which I have wondered about. As we all know there are many SB on the site who ask for very high numbers of $5000 or $10,000 or more even, much higher than your $3000.
    I wonder if any ever get that much?! Have any of the SB ever consistently gotten that much?
    As I posted before I have had experiences when i got winked by someone asking for $5000-$10,000 , but once we settled on a per meet allowance it was only $600 for 4 times a month or less, well below the monthly amount asked for.
    IME, the most I have spent on a SB was about $5500 in one month for 3 meetings, since I really took a liking to her, but it only went for one month (she wanted only $600 per meet, but lots of crises happened … ). Typical for me in CA is $400-600 maybe $700 per meet.
    There was one SB that I communicated with who stood firm at $3000 per month, but not my type at the end, but did tell me that she had an organic (not on any site) arrangement where she got a lot more than that. I sort of believed her.”

    @SD-Rob. If you ask for that kind of money, does this mean that you’re more interested in a more stable, non P4P arrangement with one SD? If one asks for $5,000/month, that’s $60,000 a year. You would have to making some serious, serious coin and wealth to afford such a luxury. According to what I’ve seen, there are just around 200,000 people/households in the world with ultra-high net worths ($30million and up).

  47. Homer says:

    @Southern–trust your gut. Something doesn’t sound right either. For starters, if he writes a check, he needs your real name to make it out to. Probably don’t
    want to give that out to someone you’ve never even met. Cash. If he’s not in a position to get his hands on a small amount of cash for a token then how’s he planning on getting you your allowance, which should be a whole lot more than this gift. I’d pass

  48. Natalia says:

    @Onyx – you have some interesting coworkers! That is a lot of people to be involved with, but it makes sense for some. I find your boss’ situation funny. I guess that is a concern the men face if they have families and daughters of their own.

    @newbie thanks for checking it out. It’s a good way to express yourself, especially since we can’t talk freely about these things. I also noticed a lot of SBs quit early in their blogs, so there isn’t much current information available.

    @Rob in real life dating I would never sleep with a guy early on or have more than one guy at a time. That is because when I’m dating I want a relationship and a future out of it. With Sugar I know I’m not looking for a future with the man so there isn’t that pressure and I can have fun with it. I wrote about Dating this week on the blog if you want to check it out.

  49. SouthernSB says:

    I have a question: Has anybody had the situation where a SD wanted to send you money before you met him? I mean right off, the first time he e-mailed or chatted with you? I am chatting with a SD who said he wanted to me a check the first time we chatted. I was just kind of wary about it, he said he wanted to send it through his business associate. Has this ever happened to anyone before? The whole thing just sounded a little sketchy to me. Am I right? Or is this kind of thing common? I just don’t know what to do. I didn’t take the money, instead I suggested he send me a cute purse with a token amount of money in it. That sounds safer right?

  50. Homer says:

    @Newbie–Since I don’t live in Toronto, I can’t say much about what the sugar scene there is like, but looking at SB profiles there, the range is all over from practical to high, as are age and body types. In general, the suggestions regarding allowance is to ask for what you need first. If you meet someone who you really like and get along with, but offers a little less than that, maybe start there first and see how it goes. In your situation, you have to be careful not to fall into the “desparation” trap. Obviously you need rent, but that need shouldn’t affect your judgement on who to see, etc. You don’t want to make hasty decisions you’ll regret later. A good arrangement can take time to find so be patient if possible.

  51. SD-Rob says:

    @ newbie- have you considered whether you are open to a per meet allowance to start with? That may be what you get offered to start as you guys feel each other out. But we aware that may lead to a one time intimate session and poof the SD is gone!
    Seems like you are open to multiple SD ? That can give you a higher allowance as I mentioned previously and if you are comfortable with having multiple relationships at the same time and your SD also are open then that is certainly another way, but you need to be comfortable with being paid for multiple sessions a week by different men … ! I have come across several SB who operated that way.
    @ all SB – maybe I’m behind the times , but in real life , outside SD/SB scene, how comfortable are young people these days on having multiple partners and hooking up with someone intimately on the first or second date ? Of course, I know it depends on the type of person, but what is norm these days ?
    I know IME in sugar world it has always happened on first or second date, but maybe those who are open to a SB situation are also those who are more open or care free sexually ? Or is that really a reflection of real life as well?

  52. Newbie Needs Help says:

    @ Onyx thanks for your help! I live in Toronto which is definitely expensive! so that should help. I was ideally looking for just one SD but maybe I should be more open minded and see what else is out there? that would definitely help with the low allowance problem. Once I find a SD I want to stay with it I can definitely scale back….now if only I could find any job asap
    @Natalia had a look at your blog def. a great way to help a SB make sense of it all :) will consider starting one too :)

  53. onyx_percula says:

    @ Natalia — WHOOP!! Congrats dear! He sounds like a great guy too. He is a lucky SOB too, you are quite the catch.

    I’m close with a couple of my co-workers and one gets a daily recap of “as the sugar bowl turns” at lunch. The other, my boss he gets fewer details mainly because he quickly realized both of his girls are prime candidates for SBs and can’t get his head around that. The one friend, he has only been envious once, and that is over the out of town SB as she is exactly his type. But if anything he is the one with the stories! He is in a polly relationship (FFFFMM) which also swings. Trust me his adventures make mine look like junior high dance night.

    @ Newbie Needs Help — It really depends on a lot of things when you start talking allowance amounts. Living in a more expensive city will make it easier. Being an outstanding companion will make it easier. Being available as often as possible too. The bigger question is how long will it take to find a suitable SD with a allowance that works for you…

    @ Mike — The same thing applies to your question on allowance as above, it all depends on the area, how often you meet and what you bring to the table. I have met a couple of really great SBs in AZ that have the attitude of “Whatever is good for you is fine” when it comes to allowance. Both VERY hot inside and out. I know one of them would be fine without an allowance if everything else is right. So its not hopeless, but be up front with the ladies, don’t under sell what you can bring to the table financially. There are some wonderful ladies that would love to have a sweet older man in their life once or twice a month for a few hundred a month.

  54. Natalia says:

    Goodness, sounds like the blog has gone through a lot of drama in this new year. Starting off right, huh?

    As far as girls putting up high allowances, there could be many reasons. I put mine in the 3-5k range, but I don’t necessarily expect to get that. I would be happy if I did, but I’m happy with 2k, plus dinners, shows, etc.

    I’m happy to report I found an SD! We’ve seen each other a few times and things are going well. Feel free to check out my blog for more info, link in the name!

    Onyx – you’ve got a lot going on with the live in GF, and now having more meetings with the out of town girl. I am sure many men envy you!

  55. onyx_percula says:

    @ thoughtful — “What interests me, is what attracts the older ones to the younger,”

    It’s pretty simple for me, I rarely if ever am attracted at any level to women my own age, never have been.

  56. flyr says:

    @Mike “I would give some gift$ and allowance, but with alimony and child support, does makes it hard. There are other things I can offer a SB, like compassion, affection and as a mentor for their future (maybe they get that anyway from some SD). In my opinion money isn’t everything. I guess SD/SB does require certain lifestyle, based on the money involved.”

    As a favor to the potential SB and yourself make it clear in you post and communications that this is what you are offering. There may be some that will be interested, but my guess is that you would have better luck elsewhere.

    The S in Sugar is the $

  57. Mike says:

    @SugarySpicey thanks! Very kind of you. I would give some gift$ and allowance, but with alimony and child support, does makes it hard. There are other things I can offer a SB, like compassion, affection and as a mentor for their future (maybe they get that anyway from some SD). In my opinion money isn’t everything. I guess SD/SB does require certain lifestyle, based on the money involved.

    So lets see how things goes for me.

  58. SD-Rob says:

    @ NC Gent, Richard – totally opposite for me. I have had the $ conversation with practically all even when they said that they could go for me even without an arrangement (my current one is a good example, which I hope will be long term).

  59. SD-Rob says:

    @DelloTT- interesting question which I have wondered about. As we all know there are many SB on the site who ask for very high numbers of $5000 or $10,000 or more even, much higher than your $3000.
    I wonder if any ever get that much?! Have any of the SB ever consistently gotten that much?
    As I posted before I have had experiences when i got winked by someone asking for $5000-$10,000 , but once we settled on a per meet allowance it was only $600 for 4 times a month or less, well below the monthly amount asked for.
    IME, the most I have spent on a SB was about $5500 in one month for 3 meetings, since I really took a liking to her, but it only went for one month (she wanted only $600 per meet, but lots of crises happened … ). Typical for me in CA is $400-600 maybe $700 per meet.
    There was one SB that I communicated with who stood firm at $3000 per month, but not my type at the end, but did tell me that she had an organic (not on any site) arrangement where she got a lot more than that. I sort of believed her.

  60. SugarySpicey says:

    Mike – welcome to the blog.

    You asked about age and “SD” qualification.

    Re: age, it’s all over the place. Mid-fifties is definitely not “too old” some SBs comment that certain SDs are too old for them, but isn’t that kind of what this is about.

    Re: gift$ and allowance, you said you don’t have money to throw around. Well, then the question is, why would an SB choose you? There is no shortage of 50-year old men wanting to bang 20 something’s, so without generosity, what do you offer that differentiates you?

    Richard – if I wanted a BFE I’m sure I could get that for free, in my memory it goes something like: “Forget to call, bring home a four pack of beer since the first two were car beers, then hump me roughly for four minutes until one of us (you) gets off.”

  61. Richard says:

    @Sweetie – Whoops! Unfortunately I can still type with my foot in my mouth….but you know exactly what I meant!

  62. Newbie Needs Help says:

    Hi everyone! I’m new to this ( 1 day old profile yay). I recently got laid off because the company cash flow couldn’t take my salary blah blah… I dont have expensive tastes but I do have a bit of an expensive apartment and a lease I can’t get out of of for the moment being…long story short is a 3k/month arrangement (willing to meet at least once a week, SD pays the outings, we meet more if we like each other) unreasonable? how do i go about negotiating it? I’m not looking for hands off and I’m applying to new jobs every day but I am in a bit of a tight situation with this real nice and useless 40k university degree i just got…advice dearly wanted…thanks

  63. sweetie says:

    Richard “My current SB is in her late thirties (but looks amazing).”

    That did not come out right, Richard. Ouch!

    Regarding finances and number of visits per moth, I find that in bad taste. Then you are making it about sex for money. As Sugary was saying, if I like you, I’ll see you as much as I want. Makes sense to me.

  64. NC Gent says:

    Richard — I never talked finances with any of my long term SBs either. I was generous with them, but we never had a talk of this amount for this many visits a month, so your experience is more inline with mine. It was more of a friendship, and I was helping them because I wanted to help them, not because it was required.

  65. Jeane says:

    My new years resolutions are NOTHING like they were from 2013!
    My 2012 year was HORRIBLE! Murphy’s law was in full effect that year! So for 2013 my resolution was to have a semi boring/uneventful year with nothing BAD happening! Thankfully I was able to hold to that resolution for the most part. By October 2013 is when I started on my SA journey, so far it’s been a blast! Of course I get messages from ‘creepers’ but thankfully the SD’s I’ve met in real life have been great! Sometimes an arrangement works out and other times we both know it’s just not meant to be.

    my resolutions for 2014:
    1. Survive nursing school! This should be easier than last year because now I have a great SD helping to pay tuition- meaning less stress on this baby!
    2. Having as much fun as possible when I’m not studying!
    3. Start replying to this blog more! I’ve been lurking for a couple weeks now and finally decided that I want to post about my experiences as a SB- with that said I would love to connect with other SBs to hear about their experiences and chit chat more about this crazy life style that none of my friends in traditional relationships can’t really understand haha

    well back to the top to read more replies :) Happy new years everone!

  66. Richard says:

    @Sugary – Me, too! How much are you willing to pay for the “full hooker” Richard? I promise a complete BFE! :)

    Not sure how to write this without sounding conceited, but I’ll try. I’m definitely not “typical” but I get hit on fairly often (a few times a year) by much younger women (including early 20s). I’m in my late forties, but probably look younger. Most recently I had a long conversation about sexual deviance and fetishes with a young college student at a dinner party, and after a couple of glasses of wine she asked if I could “show” her some of them. I declined for a number of reasons, but it was definitely a real offer. She likely knew I was successful, but certainly wasn’t looking for “sugar.”

    Some women (girls) are simply attracted to older men for a variety of reasons, just like some men are attracted to blondes or short women or fat women. I do think it helps a lot if the man is handsome, fit and successful, though! If he isn’t, she still might be with him primarily for the woman but also grow to love him. It is not common, I completely agree.

    I’m new to this, and might be looking for a different type, but of the three women I met in person and slept with (out of five that I met in person), none asked for money up front, said “it doesn’t” matter when I asked and claimed they’d be fine if I didn’t give them anything after our first meeting. I was generous with all of them because I knew they needed it and I understand the nature of this site.

    I’m generous with my current SB because I can afford it and I know she needs the money for very good reasons, but she has said she’d continue to see me even if sugar wasn’t involved. Hopefully I won’t need to test that!

    Personally, although I can understand the physical attraction of young girls, it would be an exceptional person younger than mid-thirties that could sustain my interest. My current SB is in her late thirties (but looks amazing). I also find sex is better with women early thirties and older.

  67. WCSD says:

    Well it is always nice to get our first troll out of the way for 2014!

    If you are going to make something up, you need to make it make sense. I think meeting a pot for a drink, giving her a $50 gift card and getting 3-hole fun in the car is much more believable! And no need to insult the pot. You’d think someone who is able to do that would have the confidence to believe that it might be because of who he is that it happens rather than the pot being a half-hooker…

  68. DelloTT says:

    Interesting stuff in the last two posts. I’m curious to know as to how many arrangements exceed the $3,000/month mark…I see moderate as the usual request, but I’ve always though that the guys who could splash that kind of money and more each month are rather rare. Seems like economics 101 of supply-and-demand is something that gets lost on this site.

  69. Mike says:

    Hello all! I guess I am a new wanna be SD. Fresh (meat) old guy I guess…..not a used SD yet…lol. I enjoy reading this and last blog. I have learned a lot here, and have a better understanding on what a SD/SB relation is.
    I see folks here use very colourful metaphors.

    I see everybody has encounter some bad apples in their adventure, like me when I first got on SA. SD-Rod has the right category, some I have encounter already. Looking forward to find my first SB. One question, is 50 something to old for this site? Not rich and can’t afford some of SB prices.

  70. NC Gent says:

    @SS — I was thinking the same thing regarding “thedirty,” but I was thinking someone was probably reading on that site, saw something, and decided to post something here.

    I don’t think I have been to an IHOP since college and that was under the influence of alcohol at 3 am!

    p.s. got a giggle out of full hooker :)

  71. flyr says:

    @thoughtful “What interests me, is what attracts the older ones to the younger,”

    It’s a big universe – some thoughts- what are older SD’s looking for

    what he missed at that period of his life
    what he had, but lost for whatever reason
    what he never knew existed
    the respect of others by being seen with a younger woman
    something less complicated than an IRL relationship
    some easier to manipulate than a woman near his age
    a fixer-upper project

    I’m sure others could add far more.

    Think about what type of SD you want focus on that segment of the population.

  72. SugarySpicey says:

    NC – And, how does one skip out on the check THEN get a post-meet car BJ? Additionally, a guy with money, class, success and style wouldn’t WANT to bang in a cheap motel. Clearly “Josephine’s” trying to rile up all of us half hookers. I’m not riled, for the right price I’ll go full hooker, and much more fun than a sleazy IHOP BJ. Some bottle rat spent too much time on The Dirty and now wants to spread her holiday cheer (and ignorance of the proper use of the hyphen) around the web.

  73. NC Gent says:

    I am having a hard time believing he can be “smooth, articulate” based upon his writing style. Also, if someone is so “good looking” why would one have to resort to trickery and SD sites to get hot women?

  74. Zack says:

    @ OP If we’re both at liberty this spring in FL, let me buy you a beer? Or a jug of wine, lol. And, yeah…when they “synch”…you’re sunk.

    …www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=YpTqd_NYQnU

    On topic…I should try to stop eating Fugu or something.

  75. onyx_percula says:

    @ Zack — Oh trust me I am not expecting smooth as glass water sailing, more like a class 1 rapids run, lol. Seeing other people will be interesting. Her biggest concern is losing me to someone else, which I guess is always the concern when a partner steps out. I’m less concerned I guess. In the end we are going to do what we are going to do and all I can do is create the best environment I can that encourages a positive caring supportive sensual and fun experience for us.

    In other developments, my once monthly is getting a upgrade to multiple meets per month. She is also getting tied up for the first time the next time 😉 I got “in trouble” for getting her all wet during class because I told her what was going to happen to her, I told her to not txt me when she is in class then, lol, silly girl what did she expect to happen? Going to have to talk to her about getting some pictures of the ties. All tastefully done not showing her in a recognizable way, but still showing the art and beauty of a nice colorful tie.

    I’m starting to plan a trip to FL this spring to visit a young SB I have been mentoring since summer, that I befriended. We will see about forming a arrangement, either way we will have fun, she is a friend that I expect to be around for years to come. I will have to post about my experiences with her some day here… The summary would be something like young barely legal virgin pot SB goes from the least suitable to be a SB to a smart young lady that is now nearly an ideal SB.

  76. SugarySpicey says:

    Lol, if you’re going to pretend to be big time, perhaps you should learn to use the comma correctly. All the exclamation points make it clear our would-be Lothario has never once received an in-car BJ, because “he” has a vagina.

  77. Zack says:

    @ thoughtful that “vibe” is a big part of the attraction to many, I think…ask OP lol

    Quite a few SB’s are impressed by a gentlemen who knows a profession and can speak above an eighth grade level. As a relatively new SD, something I’m noticing is a real self-selection and self-sorting character to sugar…but the actual qualities and possibilities that feed into that process…are complicated 😛

    Elements of that complexity include things like smearing attractive qualities desirable in most relationships and thinking of them as just a sd/sb thing, and losing sight that relations are two way (eh, don’t let me get into real math, heh) and not entirely parallel…even in the “smallest” sense…ie:

    “He’s funny…he makes me laugh.” vs. “She’s got a great sense of humor…she laughs at my jokes..”

    Kinda hard to talk about ideas like that, but you can figure it out for yourself…that’s fun…and talk about it helps sort out your own head and relationships…so let us know any answers you get? 😛 Also, I’m not entirely sure whether your last sentence should be “reversed…?”

    @gtt–Think “Thick skin” or maybe “think head”…sounds like my (ex-) wife trolling. Probably someone else’s heheh ..do note the moderation delay…maybe he’ll just go away. There are plenty. :/

    …www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=_GAGFngepGA#t=172

  78. Thoughtful_ says:

    On dating younger:
    I’m a little past 30, and am very regularly pursued by people too young to buy booze. I’m quite cute, but not in the tan, skinny, blond party girl kind of way idealized by most, so it’s not all about looks when younger looks at older. There’s a nurturing “vibe” that attracts younger people to older, and makes the younger ones feel safe and protected. If you put out even the slightest hint of “creeper” attitude, they will run, unless you’re very wealthy and generous.

    But most 19-year-olds don’t have the money or maturity I want in a SugarDaddy or SugarMomma, or it’d be easy to find one.

    What interests me, is what attracts the older ones to the younger, other than looks, vitality, and the hint of a life that’s more carefree (except for money, but any good SD can fix that…)?

  79. gtt_envy says:

    @JoeBlowSD, great job and giving every SD who cares just a bit a bad name! You are the reason the horror stories exist!

    You are the type of person I loathe in real life!

  80. Zack says:

    @ OP nice envelope…I do like your thinking. I probably shouldn’t ask this, but do you both realize it’s also full of tentacles? That’s ok, but…thoughts?

    @flyr: dawn is an illusion of perception. shrug.

    …www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=gH1JMdWpJ54

    @ SuSp: or your can have a friend snap a few…send us some pictures? Buildings will be fine Lol

  81. Eloquence says:

    I’m reporting “Live” as you can see…It has been the most perplexing/quiet day …. “here in the bowl” ….

    I would say, I’m cautious to go in for a closer look, instead… I’ll remind you, they wrote a song about “sugar”…want to hear it?….. Here it goes..

    ” A spoonful of Sugar helps the medicine go down, in the most delightful way!”

    This allows sugar to be called sugar.. How do you obtain your sugar in the bowl?

  82. Homer says:

    I assume the blog is frozen?

  83. JoeBlowSD says:

    In my opinion, it’s best to use these “sugar babies” as the used up porta potties that they are and move onto better things.

    I’m personally on 2 “sugar daddy” websites, both SA (this site) and sugardaddie and it’s a BLAST! When I was a youngster in Newport, I was always on the prowl but limited financially. I was FORCED to pay money for dinners, etc. Now I just roll up in my BMW and it’s SHOW TIME. I have money to blow but why spend it on a “half hooker”? I’d rather spoil myself! The trick is to be SMOOTH, articulate, and of course it helps that I’m WHITE and good looking lol! Promise the world but when it comes down to paying the tab, I’m OUT. I always get a “sample” (in car bj) on the first meeting and if it’s good, I’ll get a room at a CHEAP motel in Costa Mesa. The vast majority of these “half hookers” are as bright as a 40 watt light bulb. Play the game, show them a nice car, use a fake name, get a prepaid 2nd cell phone, and BANG away. Most are extremely desperate and will do ANYTHING for money.

    None of these chicks are LTR/gf/wifey material anyways so they might as well get used for what they are advertising themselves as.

  84. flyr says:

    @vixen “I’m semi-new to sugar, would like to keep anonymity and also create a fail safe if fall victim to any malicious SD’s.”

    Re Photos
    The easiest is no facial pictures, perhaps a cheek but nothing that is searchable. The photo(s) should be unique and only used on this site. There are many examples of very attractive photos without recognizable faces. Blotting out is not good. I would be tempted to extend this to private photos given your criteria.

    Re What You Want
    Great question – ask for what you want and help readers self screen. You are presumably only looking for one SD and appeal to that exclusivity . Don’t rate the responses by numbers but rather quality. Test and retest your profile. Add something , remove something, change a photo.

    Focus your profile on the messages your target might respond to. You are not trying to sell Burger King vs McDonalds but rather trying to create demand for bottled water vs tap water or a private school vs public school.

    Understand that SA is like the shoe store window on Broadway. It attracts a lot of lookers but also a few buyers. It’s the sorting that’s the challenge.

    Personally I think you will have a good chance with the right message but be prepared to toast a lot of frogs along the way.

  85. onyx_percula says:

    Ref — SB’s and no allowance: I recently ended allowance with a SB I have been seeing since July this year. We have hooked up a couple times since. We click. We will continue to hook up for the foreseeable future.

    Ref — Allowance: I have done monthly, weekly and P4P in recent history. I have done strictly cash and mixed sugar but have never done complete non-cash sugar. I have done as little as $500/month meeting 2-4 times in a month to $2500/month meeting between 4-8 times a month, Typical P4P in my area is between $200 and $500 with the majority wanting $250-$300. Unless “out of town” travel is involved it is rare that a meeting is overnight, that is expect for my first SB who wanted to me to practically move in with her, lol. She was hurt if I didn’t stay the night, which worked out fine most of the time as it cut my commute time and was a enjoyable experience always. The all time low I have heard of was $100/P4P and a high of $2k/P4P neither were anywhere close to acceptable arrangements, and oddly the $2k/P4P was way skankier than the $100/P4P.

    Ref — Asking for higher allowance than what is really acceptable: I have never contacted a pot SB where that was the case. Every pot SB that has contacted me has done exactly that. Everyone of the ones asking higher taking lower as either said she was using the listed allowance as a filter for asshats and/or that she listed her high for as Spiecy says the “tolerance” factor or was simply being a good negotiator.

    Ref — Ideal arrangement: Well I would say what I more or less have now actually, which is a way to kill several birds with one stone… and as a update too.

    So the live-in to be SB spend the weekend. This was the first face to face for her and my mother, and I’m in trouble. I can see it coming already, the two of them ganging up on me, lol! They get along too well… My mother even got in on the sugar by giving her a nice winter coat as a “nice to meet you” gift.

    We also got “perfect” clarity around our relationship. We are not SD and SB, we are GF and BF. She will be a W2 employee that will receive a modest cash salary and many non-cash benefits such as no rent utilities and free education. We have an open relationship, which allows for either of us to step out for fun. A couple of rules go with that. 1) Nothing that would threaten the relationship, i.e. nothing serious. 2) No sneaking or hiding, either partner has veto rights. 3) Our bed is ours alone, no bringing strange home.

    We have agreed to a sliding scale that provides her a severance package that allows her to take some property and cash upon leaving under good terms. We have agreed to a min of a one month notice, but both would prefer longer is possible. At 6 months she gets a months salary plus agreed to at purchase property, e.g. furniture. After 12 months 2 months salary and so on up to 4 months salary severance.

    So for today this is ideal, hopefully it will be in a month and a year from now too. I have a hot 24 year old that can keep up with me in and out of bed which is something that is rare.

    This is a good example too of the current talk of no allowance form of sugar, converting from SB to GF/wife. So in our situation she is really not getting anything more than most live-in GFs would expect to have or any wife. A modest amount of cash each month, and expenses covered that are a normal part of life. An open relationship that places the relationship above sexual pleasure, i.e. enjoy other partners that will always provide something different that maybe wanted or missing from the relationship.

    But now of course there are GF/BF “complications” to be dealt with, lol. So I will be meeting her father and step mother before she moves in. I am a couple of years older than they are… her father has a terminal case of “old white man’s disease” and my expectations have been set for a rough meeting… Step mother is cool with things and has been encouraging her to “find a rich BF and get out of my house already!” for a couple of years now, lol. Her real mother I will be meeting after she moves in, but have already spoken to her on the phone a couple of times, she is really happy in her choice. Same with her bother and sister in-law who I have met. So most of the family either likes me or likes the idea of us together.

  86. SugarySpicey says:

    Vixen – “Private” photos aren’t really private, search through the “Profiles like mine” and SA let’s you see all the private photos of SBs near you. When I discovered this I deleted any photo that included my face immediately.

    I have a few alluring shots, one of my legs, one full body but from a great distance so you can’t get enough detail to see anything, and a bikini shot cropped at my head. I won’t risk putting my face on SA, even as so-called “private”.

    In addition to the fact they they are NOT private, I had a creeper find out my real identity (in my early, naive SA days) before our first meet from a face shot. He then used his “knowledge” to try to “persuade” me to go home with him after our first date, no allowance just the “generous” offer not to out me if I came home with him. Fortunately, Google works both ways and I had learned enough about him before our date to know that his boss is a good friend of my family, when I mentioned that the “outing” could go two ways he pouted and backed down, then slunk away where he came from.

    If you do take selfies, don’t take the “standing in the mirror” kind – Tacky! Turn the camera toward you and take a ton of shots, then choose the best one.

  87. Bastian says:

    @ vixen – I am certainly looking for someone like you. In fact, I do not want the desperate types, but rather someone who has a life, job, etc and looking to enhance their life style. So, there are SDs out there who want someone like you.
    How to attract them ….??
    Well, are you clear about that in your profile? Also, it takes patience I guess, just as it does for the SD looking for someone like that. I can review your profile if you’d like.

  88. Bastian says:

    @ fati, gtt, flyr- sorry I asks my question !! Lets keep it civil here !
    I really meant if anyone here had first hand experience with that. Or knew of anyone like where an arrangement was started on $$ and then transitioned to not involving $. As I mentioned I had one SB who just wanted the sex and intimacy after a couple of meets. I am 46 and she had just turned 26. All of our encounters were private but we did go out for her birthday once and she was all over me in public. She had a job , not high paying though , and was a tiger in bed, and i met and exceeded her expectations. She has been the only one though. And I still made sure she got $ in some way.
    As I mentioned before I have had at least two possibilities for dating much younger women in my travels. One was only 20 and was fascinated by all I knew and wanted to learn while being with me. The other was just a natural attraction.
    Regarding profs and students, having been in a similar situation on both ends, some of that has to do with the advantage a student could gain by dating a prof when in his class, and hence all the regulations now ! I dated my teaching assistant while I was taking a history class and she made sure I got an A , back in the day …

  89. NC Gent says:

    Bastian — it is very rare for an SB to not want an allowance, but I have come across it a couple of times. One pot SB wanted only gifts because it felt better to her. Nothing in life is free, so be careful that she isn’t looking for more than a casual relationship.

  90. Zack says:

    @Sweetie…you’re kinda missing it, clear your ears….she’s trying to sing, and the signal to noise ratio will improve :)

    …www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=Jl8iYAo90pE

    @Vixen, I can at least say about the last, “paranoid” bit….If they want to find out, they will…accept that, consider it “grist” for your own “processing” mill…and take apart and look at your own worries….Good q’s, though, for the blog.

    @Jas: “Hi.”

    @ gtt: ;D…. …www.bing.com/videos/search?q=queen+feat+video&FORM=VIRE3#view=detail&mid=3826FCF35D1F082505883826FCF35D1F08250588

  91. gtt_envy says:

    Yep, I’m done 😉 just happy the site exists!!

  92. Flyr says:

    @gtt “FB and Flyr, sometimes I think people post to perpetuate a ideology or belief in something that is not the norm.”

    I don’t believe that either of us asserted that anything other than the sun rising is the norm.

    Norm is a very scary dude to be avoided by those not in need of Linus’ blanket.

    To try to bring this back to center, I think on of the stumbling issues is the “smoking hot xx year old” which sounds like something out of People Magazine’s brain cell killing publication of breathless news for the shallow end of the gene pool. Fortunately there are many SB’s who want more than just the $ and a guy who looks like her classmates or work mates. Majority – probably not. I don’t think there is a descriptor that fits a majority of SB’s other than wanting something other than they are finding in normal dating and being wanting some portion of the upgrade to be financial.

  93. sweetie says:

    Oh, guys! Just shake hands, please.

    Can we disagree without getting bent out of shape?
    Fatty, please don’t go!!! :(

  94. SugarySpicey says:

    Pass it over Softi, the new job is kicking my trash, I need an upper. I always thought you resembled the Mayor of Toronto … “But I never smoked crack unless I was very, very, inebriated.”

  95. FatBastardSD says:

    @PriceySpicey

    “… I AGREED with you there.”

    That is what worries me. I think I need to put down the SA blog crack pipe.

  96. SugarySpicey says:

    Softi – GTT and I have had our clashes in the past, and I AGREED with you there. Offer a 27 year old with a ticking clock, student debt, and a go-nowhere job marriage, all bets are off.

    As for being a serial animal and vegetable killer, aren’t we all?

    Anyway, be nice to me tonight, I’m not ready to spat … yet … you’ve been away so long!

  97. FatBastardSD says:

    @gtt_envy

    This is SeekingArrangement.com not POF. Why the fuck are you babbling on about what is the norm on a website that is marketed as a place where very successful men set up arrangements with attractive women?

    To be blunt I think you are a angry woman pretending to be a man. How can I tell? You have this annoying habit of pushing this idea that every 22 year old college girl looks like this:

    [\img\]http://www.topnews.in/files/Megan-Fox_4.jpg[\img\]

    and that you need to offer a $1K per meet allowance to have any chance at finding a SB. If I had to guess I would say you are one of Pricey Spicey’s alter egos.

  98. gtt_envy says:

    @FB, it’s funny because you are incapable of looking at it any other way except the way you choose too. No matter how much you say “You are this, You are insecure, You can’t pull tail, You can’t” and every other personal attack you can come up with the FACTS REMAIN THIS IS NOT THE NORM!!

    I agree we see it differently 😉

  99. FatBastardSD says:

    My previous comments were posted twice because they need to be fully appreciated.

    @gtt_envy

    The fact that you use PriceySpicey’s posts (a serial animal and vegtable killer) as supporting evidence shows how clueless you really are.

    End of discussion.

  100. FatBastardSD says:

    @gtt_envy

    “@Flyr, and that is great you have seen that because I HAVE NOT!! In fact the biggest age gap I even know of with somone in her 20′s is 27 and her fiance is 43.”

    FB Says: You do not know any successful men.

    “I know not a single early 20 something that openly dates a man in his 40′s! I’m at colleges all the time 😉 ”

    FB Says: Where the rules/guidelines about students dating faculty developed for no reason?

    “The average SD with the average age of 50, average body, average allowance, isn’t the guy pulling smoking hot 22 years olds in real life. The guys you speak of are rare, but I can only assume we are products of our experinces in life and you have seen a different slice of the pie than I have.”

    FB Says: Most 22 year old guys ( I will bet you were in this group ) with an average body do not pull smoking hot 22 year old women IRL and would need an allowance. A guy who pulled smoking hot 22 year old girls when he was 22 will pull smoking hot 22 year old girls when he is 42 if he stays in shape and is very successful.

  101. FatBastardSD says:

    @gtt_envy

    “@Flyr, and that is great you have seen that because I HAVE NOT!! In fact the biggest age gap I even know of with somone in her 20′s is 27 and her fiance is 43.”

    You do not know any successful men.

    “I know not a single early 20 something that openly dates a man in his 40′s! I’m at colleges all the time ;)”

    Where the rules/guidelines about students dating faculty developed for no reason?

    The average SD with the average age of 50, average body, average allowance, isn’t the guy pulling smoking hot 22 years olds in real life. The guys you speak of are rare, but I can only assume we are products of our experinces in life and you have seen a different slice of the pie than I have.

    Most 22 year old guys ( I will bet you were in this group ) with an average body do not pull smoking hot 22 year old women IRL and would need an allowance. A guy who pulled smoking hot 22 year old girls when he was 22 will pull smoking hot 22 year old girls when he is 42 if he stays in shape and is very successful.

  102. gtt_envy says:

    @FB and Flyr, sometimes I think people post to perpetuate a ideology or belief in something that is not the norm. You already said it in your reply FB…does the average SD doesn’t work in the entertainment industry? Most are not some powerful uber charismatic guy, you may not be the norm, hell maybe even most of the men on the blog aren’t. Look at the women who post here? Fakes, fatties, stood up, offered sub hobbyist rates, most guys are a joke! You can see from the topics that come up when random SB/SD’s post about $250-400/meet P4P, needy clingy behaviors, or just look at the posts by SS talking about how many fakes are on the site.

    Yet, you make it sound like it’s the norm and it is not!! That’s my point 😉 not that it can’t ever happen just don’t give the average guy giving a avg allowance the thought that there are SB’s 20+ years his junior looking to be with him for practically nothing.

    It’s takes a special type of man to pull HOT 20’s somethings end of discussion. You believe what you want and I’ll believe what I want.

  103. FatBastardSD says:

    @gtt_envy

    You are wrong and I don’t think you understand the difference between charisma and beauty.

    “Real life is a great predictor and even in LA with gold diggers everywhere it’s rare to see such a thing, but hey who am I to bust a bubble!!”

    I have not spent a lot of time in LA but I was around people in the entertainment industry. This comment is very far from what I have seen and I don’t know whose “real life” you are talking about.

  104. Flyr says:

    @Gtt – Until about 10 years ago at many universities including a large public university in CA sleeping with students was treated as sort of a non taxable academic benefit. I was stunned that it was not off limits from an academic integrity standpoint. The rule was was toughened up so that you were not supposed to sleep with your current students. Dean of Berkley law school thought there was nothing wrong with climbing in bed with an inebriated law student with the argument that he was not one of her professors.

  105. gtt_envy says:

    @Flyr, and that is great you have seen that because I HAVE NOT!! In fact the biggest age gap I even know of with somone in her 20’s is 27 and her fiance is 43.

    I know not a single early 20 something that openly dates a man in his 40’s! I’m at colleges all the time 😉

    The average SD with the average age of 50, average body, average allowance, isn’t the guy pulling smoking hot 22 years olds in real life. The guys you speak of are rare, but I can only assume we are products of our experinces in life and you have seen a different slice of the pie than I have.

    It’s rare that will never change imo.

  106. Eloquence says:

    @FB & Bastain *

    (
    along with cynical skepticism changeable as the sky, -to-day sunny, & tomorrow cold – (a SB to meet for no funds, it exsists)

    I can only speak from pure experience and though mine have been few (you must learn to take me as you find me). My (only one) SD to date was/is younger than I. I am in my 30’s. His wife is 2 yrs my senior.

    His generosity was such to me, imho, due to the fact that I never once treated him less than mine & as a boyfriend. He came & left on his own accord with not one negotiation that he had to give me “x” for “x” amount of visits or money. Siimply put – “Treat someone as they are & they will remain as they are, treat someone as you desire them to be & there shall they be as you desire” …. Not to sound cliché but “if you build it they will come” theory. On the on-set, yes.. he overwhelmed me & I didn’t know what to make of him showing up unannounced & the tokens of affections & the last minute, “I have to see you for lunch”, I will bring you coffee & (too bad I declined) (bc he was awaiting me outside.) If you are thinking..(omg..Stalkerish cat. 5 syndrome..) so was I… until I humbly could see no one had ever meant what they had said to him without a “hidden agenda” and it was gut-wrenching/painstakingly clear. I never had to ask (apparently the beauty I have experienced with fortunate grace) for anything, he supplied & if he didnt, he called to inform me he was sending one of his employees to me…. I am still forever grateful I knew him.
    No – I doubt all men will/are so considerate – b/c the email trails in SA from the latter of the breed doth prevail in large… or is that only my lack of giving anyone the opportunity?

    How do I embark on a 2nd relationship unless the 2nd Sd is so astute to know he has fallen in good hands.

    Otherwise…. l will become cynical based on the shortcomings of my last encounter and sware to the sky: ” there is no spice in these flaps and flies”

    For upon my hopeful 2nd meeting, for my 2nd plane ticket to the same Gent of my 3rd encounter …. I was not heartily at his beck and call (to meet for the 2nd time) within 3 hrs to leave on a plane where-with NO notice prior & he cancelled the plane ticket/communication to me upon my decline. He is only 4 years older than me, had a fine presence & was undeniably handsome (in all as I was infatuated..hoping his countenance was honorable) his curtness exhausted my stock of patience.

    so – my “theory” is such:

    Generally speaking, life is but a “sequel” where with there is really no new “motifs” in the composition.
    The intellectual process is in defining the convictions & conscsiences of men/womean (sd/sb) in the “interval” of each composition.
    Yet each of us are developing on an opening stage as we go.

    I think if I had more experience, possibly I would feel the same, so I digress.

  107. Zack says:

    I should clarify…All my meets do have sugar. In most cases, negotiations regarding cash are limited to expenses….and the sugar (gifts? consideration?) flows more in the form of “transitional” stuff…as mentioned…rent, car payments etc…that -could- be reduced to cash and a number….but…like an envelope for expenses…it’s a good and useful negotiating and packaging style for me, and helps me find and validate “click.”

    Still…for me, “alternate sugar” may be reducible to cash…but reliably paying rent beats automatic deposit for stylistic reasons…that really do help build “click” and a cooperative long term sense…and make me feel less like an atm.

    So, no…I haven’t been graced with a no sugar relationship. Other than marriage…hmm….there ARE “better” and “worse” ways of doing very similar things…

    …when the click isn’t there or lies are…it shows quickly…(ignoring warning signs..yeah, I do that, too)

  108. Flyr says:

    FB & GTT

    It all depends on what the male in bringing to the relationship. I was surprised at the number of grad school profs who were sleeping with students, bosses sleeping with young staff where it had nothing to do with getting or keeping job or getting grades, etc.

    If the SB is looking to change her lifestyle the non sugar transition into a different lifestyle may be a greater attraction than sugar. When part of my job involved spending too much time at political events there were many young women in the process who were very similar to many SB candidates. Motor racing has its groupies (aka pit lizards) and in the old days the O club at Miramar and other places was filled with young women looking for older men for an adventure.

    I do agree that the sugar exists because the SD comes up a short in attractors for the desired SB and sugar sort of the butcher’s thumb on the scale of the Male – Female relationship.

  109. gtt_envy says:

    @FB, it’s not common FB and you know it!!

    early 20’s and early 40’s super rare
    early 20’s and early 50’s lightning strike
    early 20’s and early 60’s better chance at winning the lottery

    The older the SB those chances get much better! Real life is a great predictor and even in LA with gold diggers everywhere it’s rare to see such a thing, but hey who am I to bust a bubble!!

  110. SugarySpicey says:

    Fati – I will agree with you there, you CAN transition sugar into something more, the greatest sugar arrangement if them all, marriage.

  111. FatBastardSD says:

    @Bastian

    Having a SB as a FWB or FB: This happens but it will be very rare. Any woman can easily find a guy to fuck her (and even find a guy much better looking than her). If your SB is out of your league looks wise IRL then it will not happen unless you are the most charming/cool motherfucker on the planet. You could marry your SB which is in effect a legal contract much like an arrangement. You can have very good chance with this approach since trophy wives do exist. gtt_envy claims a trophy wife situation can only happen if you are Brad Pitt or a billionaire but I think he projecting a lot of his own insecurities onto others (he really seems fixated on finding a “connection” or being treated as a john). I have met a few SB’s on the site who would be happy to commit to a SD they would not date IRL if she thought the SD would genuinely take care of/support her in the long term.

  112. Vixen says:

    I have a few questions for any SB or SD. I’m currently in the process of applying for something big for my next job. With that said, various background checks and any unrelated shenanigans I’m up to on the internet will most likely be reviewed.
    I’m semi-new to sugar, would like to keep anonymity and also create a fail safe if fall victim to any malicious SD’s. My pictures are limited, so how do I go about selling myself to the real sugar daddies that can sustain my allowance? I’m most likely going to get roused for this but I will say it anyway..
    I’m avoiding those SD that are looking to help out struggling desperate women. I’m substantial enough where I can take care of myself but looking for someone who can enhance my life. The latter is not what ive been attracting and not to mention additional fake SD that are easily weeded out via communication processes.
    Any thoughts or ideas would be appreciated, and I do have well composed paragraphs of what I’m looking for on my page. Professional hidden pictures with classy notes, or stick to the partially concealed “do it yourself” pictures? Or am I being too paranoid? lol
    Thanks in advance.

  113. Bastian says:

    I understand that sugar is a key part of this of course, and that is why in the one experience I had where SB offered not to take $$, I still gave her $ when we met again.
    I was just wondering if anyone has had such an experience? So far, it seems like none of the veterans (or rookies) here have had such an experience.

  114. flyr says:

    That he’ll be more focused on his work rather than pursuing adventures on SA and match……

  115. Taylormadesb says:

    “Is there a chance that your presence will enhance his productivity and value”

    In which aspect?

  116. flyr says:

    @Taylor – Give him the opportunity to “save ” you from sugardom by doing the right thing………. .

    You’re actually in an amazing negotiating position……. Just make sure he does not agree to something that he will immediately regret ….. Considering that I have bought cars and paid rent for IRL girlfriends this does not seem out of line.

    Is there a chance that your presence will enhance his productivity and value.

  117. Taylormadesb says:

    @flyr
    Oh if this was just exchanged emails I wouldn’t even mention it as I would quickly dismiss the idea, no harm done
    I’ve gone out with him a few times even slept over once (non sexual)
    I commute an hour to work and he lives in the middle of the city which was incredibly convenient when I worked a swing (4-midnight)

  118. Taylormadesb says:

    Thanks for the advice

    I’m meeting with him again tonight perhaps I’ll put it all on the table
    He’s just so nice and I hate to disappoint but as @sugary mentioned when there’s no sugar where there should be, trouble is waiting to happen as the faults become more apparent and harder to tolerate.
    AND the unrealistic girlfriend proposal

    Oh yah go 49ers :)

  119. flyr says:

    @TaylorM – Not sure you made it clear if he had already enjoyed the pleasure of your charms. Hopefully not………

    The solution is really simple……… He’s not “paying for love” he is offering you the time to enjoy being with him by taking the pressure off you. All of this supposes that you are ok with a SD who is in love with you.

    If he has the resources to deliver sugar to someone who he likes to be with he should be even more comfortable delivering the sugar to someone he loves. Might change the form of sugar but it needs to be there.

    The reported reaction sounds immature and seems to validate your belief that he is a refuge from a dating site.

  120. SugarySpicey says:

    Bastian – removing the sugar from an arrangement is trouble waiting to happen. It puts the SB in a position where she’s still putting up with all your faults (physical, sexual, being 20 years older and therefor seemingly a fuddy duddy who goes to sleep too early, still busy, still being a little patronizing because she’s much younger, whatever the faults are SDs always have them in the eyes of the much younger SB) but now she is even getting any perks for her “tolerance”. That makes little annoyances BIG annoyances, and whatever made her want an arrangement in the beginning now isn’t being met (who’s helping her with tuition and rent now?) as an SB, I’d think it was kind of a jerky thing to ask for if the SD really liked me. Instead, if you want to transfer into more if a relationship, the sugar should remain, it should just be given indirectly (paying her rent automatically instead of giving cash).

  121. gtt_evny says:

    @Bastian, I think what you describe is the trap that many SD types fall into. They start to believe that “This is real, they like me, why am I paying all of this again when she is so into me!” it’s not that I think SB’s are flat out faking the whole encounter. I do believe it is the ALLOWANCE that pushes them over the edge to make this palatable to them. I know a few will post how they met this “One SB who wanted them regardless of allowance!” trust me that’s rarer then rare and the avg SD doesn’t have that kind of PULL so to speak.

    It puts the SB in a really awkward position and I don’t think it’s fair. If she suddenly said “Hey, Bastian, I’m working on myself and really don’t want to have sex for awhile. That’s okay, right?” it would put you in a very awkward position too. You would still offer a allowance with no sexual perks of any kind, right?

    Tread lightly my friend!! I think we both know the answer to the last question!! SB’s are here for a reason and us SD’s are here for a reason too………..that the truth!!

  122. Homer says:

    @Taylormade (R11?) — I agree with above. Let him know that your primary goal is to find someone who can help with practical things such as bills, not to find a soulmate. Unless he comes around with the next communication, kick him to the junk mail bin.
    @Bastian–Nope, never had a SB fall for me like that. Could be because of my living situation, but it could also be I’m a horrendous lover. Nah, couldn’t be that :)
    @Ash–I’m in the same boat as others above, regarding allowances. I’ve been burned before so I’m more cautious now. Start with a weekly allowance and as trust develops, bimonthly allowance.

  123. Zack says:

    Regarding allowance or per meet negotiations… In my more successful meets…we -more often than not- dance around the actual discussion of pay. We both develop a general sense of budget and life style level or crisis that we’re mentally matching against the time/effort/risk…and forgone opportunities…of a sugar relationship.(..part of initial contact and “get to know you” text or chat…)

    My first meets generally start (after texting, some phone conversation)…with a place and time to meet, with a modest travel, time and sitter or whatever “expense” envelope for just that meet…the negotiations mostly take place after we talk a bit and start seeing elements of how a ltr might actually work….

    The cash becomes whatever necessary for expenses and travel to spend time together. The sugar is idiosyncratic to each relation…but I use what I got…extra housing, business or job opportunities….and a relationship as much about her needs hopes and directions as about mine…and we see if we can develop in ways that meet those goals for her. (not actually monetized, unless necessary for real world factors)

    I would NOT recommend my style…it’s fallen out of my early start with no clue what was the “right” amount …or way…to pay. I definitely lose contacts because I unapologetically seem like a scammer….heh the good ones for me can keep an open heart and mind until (pretty quickly)…money is a quick talk about “what or how much would it take to free you up for a weekend or week..or move in”…shrug.

    Interesting, has good results (generally, for my meets…most I think would not), and very newbie. :/

    Backpage or other escort pages abound…with prices. If there is some “going rate” it develops from local economic and “market” conditions, modified by the SB’s self image, goals…and actual “quality.” …but I’m pretty sure if any of that sort of background processing or data seeped out of my head into a conversation….I’d be on a short path to one of us pressing “eject.” Her actual income or job or weekly household budget are better reference points…after the first meeting and “click.”

    But that’s “just me” “at this time” 😀

  124. HighPriestessSB says:

    Hi,

    New SB. I have been receiving a lot of messages that are pretty much the same. Hi I really like your profile because xyz here’s my email contact me there. Is it normal practice to move the conversation off the website like that?

    Thanks

  125. Bastian says:

    @ Ash- as others mentioned the allowance can vary depending on the details. SD-Rob summed up pretty well for what I have come across in CA as well, it almost seems like there is a going rate that all the SBs with some experience know about, not sure how, but word of mouth?
    As GTT said, one thing you have to keep in mind is that many SDs do not have the time or the disposable $ to entertain and juggle more than one SB at a time. Ideally, I would like something steady, get to know the SB, strike some kind of connection without being infatuated (at least not right away like Taylor’s!). But, I have on occasion had a run of per meet SBs and the lure of more sugar, that made me entertain juggling several at the same time (that is the way they were doing it on their side as well), but would not do that if the SB also seemed “serious” about establishing something steady once we had connected and all was well (or fantastic). So, the SB in my opinion can really dictate what happens next for many SDs, but there are of course the scam artist SDs that you have to watch for, so really need to judge the SDs seriousness and there are many signs, tests that you can do as mentioned before.

  126. Bastian says:

    @ Taylor – interesting situation. I agree with GTT that you should make it clear to him that it won’t work that way.
    @ All- This brings up a question for SB (and SD) here that I have been wondering about.
    SBs, has any of you ended up not going with no allowance (or missing one of per meet) after some time for whatever reason? Maybe you became infatuated with the SD and he could not pay anymore, or something like that?
    SDs, have you ever had a SB agree to that or even suggest it? I think I have seen a couple posts saying something like that?
    Personally, I had one SB who really liked me and when I could not meet due to schedules, she told me that if the money was the issue that she just wanted the intimacy (we had lots of fun together) and no $, which was nice to hear, but I always gave her $ nonetheless.

    @ Spicey- thanks for answering my mundane question about the profile deletion vs disabling. Sounds like you basically start fresh with the mailbox but all of your other info is still there and you don’t have to type it all in again.

  127. gtt_envy says:

    @Taylor, be firm………..it’s hard to be business like when someone is so sweet, but it’s much better than the resentments that will build if you say nothing.

    You know you want something different! It’s best to cute ties and move forward imo he clearly is confused as to what this is.

  128. Taylormadesb says:

    Happy new year!!!!! All my lovelies :)

    I hope everyone had a brilliant NYE( a bit late but better than never :)

    I’m in a bit of a sugar gone wrong situation
    I met a pot less than a month ago from the site( 1st timer)
    He is completely infatuated by me which is awesome as it reduces the pressure
    However he doesn’t understand what being an SD is, he claims he doesn’t want to ‘pay for love’ which is absurd as who mentioned love- not me 😉
    I feel like he was probably on match and was receiving little attention or just that of obese older women and figured he could join a site as such and find a girlfriend no sugar included just a traditional relationship ….ugghhhh I’m a bit frigid about this
    He wants to make me his girlfriend, this is NO GOOD
    He’s such a lovely guy, very sweet but I’m probably the worst candidate for a girlfriend and to be completely honest it’s unrealistic….
    Ok rant over

  129. SD-Rob says:

    @ Flyr – yes, exactly, I only go after the higher price ones when they message or wink me. Feel like I am misleading them if I message. I have sent exactly the same message as you mention after such contact and it has worked well.
    I forgot one who was asking for again $10,000 per month, thanked her for the message and said it was above my budget. She then began bargaining via text for a P4P of $2000 per meeting!! Just wanting to see where she would end up, she was ready for $1500 for one hour each time we met, a total pro, and later I found her on the web doing specialty videos (no porn) but close to it, under her profile name. Of course, very pretty and incredibly fit. So, answering some of these may have you ending up with basically a high priced escort.
    On the other hand (this all comes back to me now!!) there was yet another who wanted $5000/month since her last SD had given her that much (it is always like that by the way), she came down to $500 per meet for 6 somewhat reasonable meetings a month, but I did not pursue, just did not have a good feeling. So, you never know where you end up.
    My current SB also winked me wanting $3000-5000 per month for 8 times a month, but having learned my lesson from before, I suggested $2500 for about 6 times and it has worked (I am glad I pursued her, she is great) but we have decided to start on per meet basis of $500 per month and then transition to monthly when we both feel comfortable. She trusted me that I would not go poof and it has been a good decision on her part, but I made her quite comfortable ahead of consummating the arrangement.
    This was supposed to be easy but it does require some time to find what you are looking for, and who knows how long it will last, I guess, not too different than IRL.

  130. KatPaw says:

    Good evening Sugars!! I’ve missed so much in past couple weeks! This kitty has settled down and will start being an “active” bloggie again!
    Meow

  131. SugarySpicey says:

    Bastian – you can delete your profile for now, Nd it will show as deleted when someone pulls up your profile, or in the inbox of someone who you once messaged with. Then, if you want to reactivate you email SA and ask them to reactivate (under the same email address you once used). You’ll lose all your old messages, but you can return the profile content. The downside is that you won’t be able to login until you reactivate.

  132. flyr says:

    @Rob- “On the SD side, do not give up on ones who list very high $$ since they may come down to your expectations, and on the SBs side, ”

    My experience has been similar, but I usually exclude the high from the search. However, responding to a wink or unsolicited email I’ll just say something like you sound wonderful thanks, I am honored, but that’s not my budget- I’m sure you will find someone. She can ignore, say thanks or propose further discussions. If/when I am back searching I’ll try Rob’s suggestion.

  133. sweetie says:

    @Eloquence and Zack – you two would make a good pair, you have the same writing style.
    😉

  134. SD-Rob says:

    @Ash
    Like GTT, I also have no weekends available, at least for now, and really only one night a week, maybe two sometimes. I look for reliability given the limited opportunity I have to meet. Also, I do not like the SB that troll for several or more, although I have had some like that before, only finding out their modus operandi later. Do not like the desperate types, lots of trouble, rather like ones with a life, jobs, other things to do. Have to “click” of course, physically, and intellectually. Girls I have dated here have all had degrees or were in school, maybe except for a couple that I am now not sure about (I think they lied). I do ask for body pics now, since I got a couple of unwanted surprises as I mentioned before upon the first intimate meeting that became a deal breaker for me. If they don’t like it then so be it, I move on.
    Regarding allowance, I thought this was to be monthly as the site indicates. But, I have found more SBs themselves ask for per meeting allowance (which is in at least a couple of cases turned out to be P4P). I had only one, my first, who asked and got a monthly, but it fell apart for lack of sticking with appointments which is critical. The rest have all been per meet and totally acceptable to the SB, which as I have mentioned before makes little sense to me from the SD point of view. There were maybe a couple that I only spoke with who insisted on monthly besides my first, but their monthly was high and I suggested starting per meet or a fraction of the monthly to be sure and they refused. Their profiles were closed later, so they either found someone to meet their demand or gave up.
    If I were in a SB’s shoes, I would approach the allowance this way. I would start asking for a monthly. If the SD does not go for that, then ask for half, or other substantial fraction. be ready to be reliable and committed at least for that month then to be fair to the SD. If I were to go for a per meet allowance if the SDs doe not go for the others, as Flyr mentions, first I need to make sure I really like the SD. This true even for the monthly of course. Ask yourself this question, if there were no arrangement, would you still be interested? This is because, you are basically taking a chance that the SD may disappear after the first intimate meeting. Of course, you have to gauge that as much as you can, but you can never be sure. What I have done when I have met a SB for a meet and greet, no sex first date, I have treated her to a nice dinner, maybe paid for her gas money (++) if she drove to me, etc. Somehow made her feel like I was for real. That may help in your assessment of the SD that you really do like but is offering per meet to begin with. If he asks to meet in his hotel room, needless to say watch out!
    As far as amounts go, it of course varies. You can browse other SBs in your area to see what they are asking for vs age, looks, physique, education, needs, etc. In California, I see a lot at $3000 per month for like 4 meetings. The per meet I have been asked for has ranged from 400-700. The first SB I had, whom I gave a monthly, asked for $1500 for 4-8 meetings per month, since she had a good job and she was interested in the sex as much as the $, which only supplemented her living to a higher level. That has been the lowest , although she did not stick with a couple of appointments (last minute, very last minute) which did it for me, and the fact that her physique once revealed was not ideal for me (selfish maybe, but that is a key factor for me). A couple of curious cases: one asked for $5000-$10,000 per month, gorgeous single mom of 30, who winked me. Once we started talking, I told her her range was too high, she said she was open to per meet. And then asked for $600 per meet? The math just did not work out for me, but I did not bring it up and we had a fun (on both ends) short stint. She was obviously entertaining several SDs at the same time. Another similar one that I did not end up becoming intimate with, listed $10,000-$20,000 per month, a former/current runway model (at least she had pics to prove that), wholly cow, but she winked me, we met for a coffee date, things got very hot and heavy in the parking lot, lots of touching in intimate places, but never got past that since she wanted $1000 per meet, 2-3 times a month, and although I could afford it, it just did not seem like a good long term deal I could embark on. The math again did not work out for me, but what I learned was this. On the SD side, do not give up on ones who list very high $$ since they may come down to your expectations, and on the SBs side, do list high $$ as a way to attract the higher quality SDs perhaps and then negotiate down if you have to , to what will keep you happy, AS LONG AS, you really like the guy.

  135. flyr says:

    Spicey don’t miss the Topkopi (sp?) palace…….Especially with Mr Kink.

  136. Eloquence says:

    @Sugary

    Ahhh, I soooo had an inkling that “Envy” was the word of choice!

    I rest my case that my 2nd will only be with a place ticket, lol-eh?

    Brilliance come to those who search the… world over… for the expertly cut clarity of the right “Diamond”! …….(he is a smart man)

    as I re-iterate…. I am so Envious of your trip!
    (or simply the fact that “kinky” hit the spot with the lure of exoticness, charm and class) and where is my plane ticket oh “powers that be”…lol

  137. SugarySpicey says:

    Flyr and Homer – no I won’t get out of Istanbul, but my kinky Austrian doctor is meeting me there!

    Eloquence, thank you.

  138. Bastian says:

    I know you can hide your profile but I meant deleting it. When I click on some profiles that say they have been deleted it brings up a page that says profile deleted OR disabled. So, it seems like there is an option to only DISABLE the profile, so that you don’t lose all the info , and then switch it back on later? Again, different than hiding which can be found if someone had you profile #.
    I want to disable my profile so when searched even by # it comes up with that message, but if I need to enable it again, then I do not have to set up the profile again. Maybe I should just ask tech support …

  139. flyr says:

    @ash

    I think there is no ideal structure. It depends on both people, why they are there, maturity etc.

    My experience over the years is that unless there is a real connection between SD and SB that it resembles a lot of other real world activities for man and beast-an immediate reward is a strong motivator and hence allowance paid over the month at the time of visits results in the highest reliability. However, it’s not my preference for a number of reasons.

    Most of my relationships over the past years have been based on a monthly allowance (excluding vacation SBs and some in remote areas) for a couple of reasons- the type of sb that I am looking for and the desire to get the financial out of the meeting. Also most of the SB’s had bills arriving on the first of the month.

    Starting out it might be a half month for the first meeting and half month for the third. My present relationship started out this way and converted to a monthly payment. There’s an additional factor for me in that on occasion I have projects or travel which may cause me to miss a meeting. Our agreement is that cancellations are treated as rain games, made up at a later date.

    Has it always worked — no there have been some disappearances and others with too many cancellations. I treat part of that as a filter that has some value in itself. When I had a larger office we usually kept $500 petty cash in an unlocked drawer. Howie, my accountant could not understand why I did it . Two reasons – keys get lost and I want to know if someone is stealing and this is the first thing that will get stolen, but of minimal value compared to other stuff in the office.

    For a new SB looking at an early relationship my goal would be a monthly allowance, bi-monthly is a bit of a concern and P4P (sustained) is a concern which should cause serious examination of the other aspects of the relationship. However, the other characteristics of the SD are far more important than the schedule of payment. If payments are to be made at meetings then you should have an agreement as to what happens if he misses a couple of weeks.

    The single most important question should be – when I look back in 15 years will this have been a good decision that added to the quality of my life and helped me advance and was that one of the goals of the SD?

    A parallel issue is respect. There are many self proclaimed SD’s who are looking for hooker services at a volume discount. There are others for whom it’s a bargaining process with winners and loosers or they simply do not know how to behave. You see these people making fools of themselves in nice restaurants or flying first class.

    I’m amazed how many women both in and out of sugarland are unhappy with the way they are treated in the bedroom. They failed to pickup on the many clues – did he open the door for you, did he let you finish your thought before starting to talk, did he have the waiter leave his plate on the table until you were done, did he really listen –

    Jumping to allowance negotiations before carefully looking at the bigger picture is, I think, the most common cause of sour sugar. That does not mean the SD should not be pre-qualified early in the process but rather that the key issues be settled before…… it’s also an opportunity for the SB to alter the SD’s perception of value

  140. Zack says:

    Hey, gtt…just between you an’ me, (umm, shrug)…focusing on “heart” or “click” things rather than “head/detail/concrete plans and criteria”…

    I’ve got a young daughter and a broken marriage. I find in myself a drive towards a stable (~ltr) relationship that creates (well, “feels” like “may/might/receptive to/likely to”, depending on other factors, shrug) an environment I feel (should/may/will…shrug) give my daughter more life, joy and potential than I tend towards myself alone. I kinda feel guilty about a “proxy” aspect to the (not easily admitted to myself) sense that …in the sugar world…I (still?) have that odd sense of seeking stability. Not sure what it does to me, but it’s something. sigh.

    Being said…knowing that’s a drive for me helps me understand one small section of what makes a “click” for me.

    Yeah, that runs against the entire sugar idea…on the face of the matter…. but…

    I’m finding that the sugar world is large enough that many remarkable young single mothers (and others) naturally “click” in with that (if I can actually talk about it in myself…oddly difficult and weirdly…shameful?). …and that as I go through a few “fails” with this in my mind…I well…do a better job of finding what I’m looking for….

    Sorry for the drama…try removing the personal details, and see if there’s anything generic and useful in that about “Know Thyself” or “Honesty” or “Experience” or merely “well, Zack, just goes to show how many desperate SB’s are out there if you’re still on site.” 😛

    other stuff
    :
    -“Chit Chat…” ?! … tie that in with “click” and “talking helps”…and notice you Really need someone to talk to, too 😛

    -I’m embarrassed how much lower than yours my cash target is. I know, though, with the right click…what I actually offer long term is time, choice, self consideration…maybe room and board, scholarships, a business or career…other minor things that fall out of my world around people important to me in it…. :)

    Still figuring out “my style” and “what I have to offer”….but cash, to me, is something to make the rest…maybe possible.

    ….Results in interesting relations with fine ladies…. :)

  141. Jasmire says:

    Happy new year! I know im a little late, sorry about that :) my resolution is to see the world in a new light. The light of 2014. To read more words on pages (electronic or not) and expand the horizon.

  142. gtt_envy says:

    @Ash, I’m under 40 and have little time or really even the enough money to be like these multi juggle SD types. I have a daughter I see on most weekends, so I’m just looking for a night or two of fun a month with ALOT of chit chat. Respect, some aspect of trust, light hearted, a little freaky is always good, must be a great kisser, and no weekly emergencies I hate that!!

    I look for someone very specific though. If you log in daily it won’t work, if you disappear for days it won’t work, preferably dark hair, dark eyes, 120-135lbs, 5’2-5’8, preferably 21-23 they have to feel totally unattainable in real life so anything approaching 30 feels like a normal date and won’t work, and lastly must love to laugh and be silly.

    My allowance, which seems to be the part you are most interested in falls in the $1500/mo range for what lately has been 1-2 dates a month usually overnight.

  143. Zack says:

    @eq: Only in dreams and fantasies…as ever has been true. There are some good guys who understand…if such is to be in the world, a good starting point is you :)

    @SuSp: Envy, delight…oh, my…the Hagia Sophia…Culture, Religion, History…Kurds in northern Syria … a stabilizing and regionally “poised” political environment…refugees?…words fail me…but for “Envy” 😀 😛

    @flyr: “Zack – 2 0 1 6 the ultimate combination of promise and fear”….or a child…

    @OP…pft. Why not?

    @ Ash…darn it. Did I mail the wrong “Ash” in Orlando? Blog gods, may I humbly request someone release my email of record to the “Ash” so delightfully posting here? Heh…does “Diamond” membership come with concierge service? 😛

    @ Dancer, sorry thought you were in TX…I get confused sometimes…it’s hard to figure out people through this blog, LOL

  144. Ash says:

    @MoresugarSB
    I totally agree, some of the descriptions for SB’s are totally far out it’s like, really?

    I even read a description where an SD said “looking for hot bi-sexual who is sexually active and submissive. I do not do allowances, shopping, or rent simply a good time and 5 star hotels.”

    Really?? Why don’t you just get an escort.

    @TO SD’s
    What is your ideal arrangement for both including allowances? I’ve heard and seen from SB’s now I want to hear from you guys.

  145. Eloquence says:

    @Sugary
    —-You influence an extraordinary education when you voice your mind. Thank you for your skill. Envious of your trip!

    @ Onyx
    —Thanks-I feel like a sheltered teenager in comparison to the vast knowledge I partake in reading here.

    @ Zack
    –If the divine power of genius ever made felt relationship #2 would intervene w/ a plane ticket biding me to speak mere utterances, to be nothing short of primal, behind doors closed. In open spaces, a gentleman edifying the mind of Miss. Manners…
    Does such a breed of man still remain?

  146. flyr says:

    @Spicey

    I agree with Homer, it’s an amazing place. Lot’s to visit in the city and outside. Literally the crossroads of the world for thousands of years.

  147. Homer says:

    Totally jealous of your Spicey! Are you going anywhere else like Antalya or Cappadocia? Maybe you’ll find your won Turkish delight there…

  148. SugarySpicey says:

    No Flyr, this will be my first time To the area. Very excited!

  149. Homer says:

    Yes you can hide your profile from searches. Only people you message or view their profile can see yours.

  150. sweetie says:

    Bastian, you mean disable it as in not paying membership? I know you could hide your profile, though. Not sure if that helps.

  151. Bastian says:

    Question: can a SD profile be disabled only and not deleted?
    Does anyone know?

  152. flyr says:

    @more sugar – Profile (def) A collection of words assembled for public consumption usually representing on or more of the following:
    — repressed fantasies of what might be
    — demands more common to legal negotiations
    — promises which would embarrass a politician
    — misrepresentations that would bring smiles to a used car salesman
    — trolling for lost and hungry souls

    In rare occurrences they have been found to be accurate representations of the writer and reasonable expectations for a mate; however odds are lottery like.

    Zack – 2 0 1 6 the ultimate combination of promise and fear

  153. Ash says:

    @Zack

    Well, I wasn’t going to deactivate my account until the second time I saw him just to make sure he wasn’t a runaway or I wasn’t a runaway due to not liking him but since I re-thought the date entirely lol my profile is still active

  154. flyr says:

    @spicey – have you been to Istanbul before

  155. SugarySpicey says:

    Eloquence – glad you enjoy the show!

    In exactly two weeks I leave for Istanbul, so excited I can hardly contain myself!

  156. DancingDevi says:

    Dashel – Austin is a wonderful city. I’m a huge fan, Too bad you’ll be visiting when everything is cold, grey, and overrun with cedar pollen. At least it’s for a good reason, so I hope you enjoy your brother’s wedding!M

    @Zack – Which lady in Texas? I’m confused as to your reference to her, and in the same paragraph mentioning my (from previous comment) so-called “cat 7” classification. Did I miss something?

    Everyone else – I’m disabling my SA profile, for all the most awesome reasons. I’ll still pop in on the blog, though, I’m sure. Everyone’s perspective and stories are too interesting to ignore!

  157. MoresugarSB says:

    Reading some of these SDs profiles cracks me up…. “looking for a wife” , looking for a “serious relationship”. BUT you must be tats free, must be white, extremellly beautiful, submissive blah blah and more blah.

    Unreal.

  158. onyx_percula says:

    @ Eloquence — Very nice entrance to the blog! I can “see” from your posts you are a seductress indeed!

    That brings back memories! Now wouldn’t it be cool to have a up to date version of WKRP on a medium that allowed for free speech, like HBO, SHO, NetFlix, Amazon, etc.

    I would never let SA pay me, however they are welcome to cover a SB’s allowance for me 😉

    @ gtt_envy — 😀 What an unusual name for a lady… Crow

  159. KatPaw says:

    Zack where have we been planing for the new year to be a glorious new start! 😉

  160. Zack says:

    Ahh, the Spirit of the New Year, 😀

  161. gtt_envy says:

    3:15am Central here…………….guess I’m about to eat some crow on saying NEVER SLEEP WITH SOMEONE THE FIRST DATE!!

    I’m dead work will be rough tomorrow that girl was RIDICULOUS!! I owe one to Brandon for meeting her unforgettable!!

  162. Zack says:

    Hi, Kat…welcome back…where were we? Lol 😉

    @Eq: nm “normal”…how do we get relationship #2?

    Dash..sorry I was rude a while back. Flyr’s right, the economy is feeding sugar. Happy New Year.

    @Flyer…what are you doing 2016? Wanna give “Sugar Party” a new spin?

    @SA…guys, blog is great…and will be replaced by other social media shortly…left to languish…you got someone in Marketing, right? 😛

    @ NOAA….someone needs to warn you guys about this lady in Texas….
    [DancingDevi also pointed out herself as in category 7…….]
    …youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=V957wzfIIoU#t=58

    @Ash. So SD #1 no go? Right…time to reactivate my account. 😛

  163. Eloquence says:

    @ SugarySpicey/Dark Horse/Dorky/katipaw/NC Gent/NC Guy/Flyr/Onyx/Stormcat/Sweetie/Exotic/SD GuruBeach Girl/Fatbastard/Jersey Darling….
    Picture it if you will and date back to the Nov. 2013 blogs…ALL in heated discussions in array that literally made me laugh outloud that I would of spit my drink out (had I had one) discussing the foray & templetes of Google & the sex discussions..
    And a 1K prize to a SB … Im about to take you way back – so far back – it is even before my time.. s sitcom called WKRP in Cincinnati.. That is you guys.. but it literally could be you on Satelite radio or like a Dr. Phil or Delila (wounded people discussing life’s agenda’s, sexual interests, peaks, what thrills excites & downright bores us to tears with humor and play on words even into the wolrd of Gatesby.. and a childs make believe world, your blog has it all wrapped into a multimillion dollar deal IMHO. The same way one would tune in to the radio to listen to the news/political radio.. Picture it – we are headed on a new SD/SB date or should I wear the blue sweater or the red – all over the United States & Abroad – don’t think for one second your numbers would not soar & your tickets would be free as you broadcast live from each SD/SB event that’ is hosted just like “heart Radio” … Im just sayin….. Commentary wise – look at your numbers that read your blog posts – possibly you already have contracts and are on the air & no one knows… but you get my drift.. if SA was smart – they have their team set – in place – unless you work for them and I am simply that slow – then its a no brainer – go buy radio time fella’s – and word of mouth is huge – your voice is a vital tool – Thanks!!! It is a good book :)

  164. sweetie says:

    Good thinking, Flyr.

    Dash, good to see you and Happy New Year. Sorry about your arrangement. Have fun at the wedding!

    My resolution: Make money this year!

  165. flyr says:

    Sugar Based Recovery Plan – Instead of giving people money to take to walmart or the car dealers to buy foreign products or to the bankers to buy politicians the government would provide a tax credit of 50% of sugar payments. The sugar would go directly to people who are usually doing something productive with their lives and would be consumed locally. Of course the SD’s would spend more on restaurants, ski trips, etc.

  166. Dashel says:

    Hello Sugar People,

    Hope everyone had a great holiday season and started the new year off well.

    Finally ended it with my first and only SB today. It’s been a while coming but still a bit sad.

    On the bright side I’m heading to Austin for my brothers wedding next week, that should be fun! We had the bachelor party in New Orleans a few weeks ago. Good times :)

    Stay sweet.

  167. sweetie says:

    Flyr, which sugar based economic recovery plan? I’m lost. :(

  168. flyr says:

    Cat yes, good SB is a force multiplier in an entrepreneurial world and an investment rather than expense…………

    Had the President listened to the sugar based economic recovery plan we would be at 3% unemployment, a trillion less debt, balanced budget and Anthony Weiner would be Mayor of New York.

  169. KatPaw says:

    Ions= tons of

  170. KatPaw says:

    Yes ash they are very helpful! Great opinion ions advice and recommendations.
    Ohhh hello Flyr! Hope the sugar world is treating you good!

  171. flyr says:

    ash – If you are comfortable with the folks here seeing your profile the thing to do is to post the profile number since that’s the easiest search (one click) . Don’t feel obligated but if you want feedback etc. A number have done it in the past..

  172. KatPaw says:

    Purrrrrrrrr hello sugars! Happy New Year!! Think it will be a glorious year! :-)

  173. SD-Rob says:

    @ Ash- have you had a SD before? I missed that in the posts. Sounds like this is your first.

  174. SD-Rob says:

    @ Peach- is your SD retired or something like that that he has all this time?

  175. SD-Rob says:

    @ Peach- curious as to what made you go P4P for a while. Very interesting. This is the one SB category I have a hard time understanding (just because of the way I am). Was it missing sex and wanting some $ as well? I run into the largest % of SB who are this way and content with P4P (with the right guy though).
    @ Ash- hard to search through some many profiles !!

    Interesting to hear, all the long term experiences from the various SD and SBs. I was glad to see Flyer match my total almost at least this year , but I am almost embarrassed to say that I have had 8 in only 6 months consummated, and at least another 8 meetings where we did not go further for various reasons (although some involved heavy petting). As I mentioned before , I started wanting only one, long term, really long term of a year or longer, but with all the available sugar and the propensity of the SB themselves to want P4P and not caring how steady it was , it made it easy to do the trial runs that some have mentioned before (and the SB did not mind). Again, maybe it is just being in California?
    The longest was a month. Reasons for not continuing, with 2 of them physically they turned out to be not my cup of tea once I was able to see it all. That’s why I ask for some kind of a belly shot, and some take me to be a pic collector, I tell them I have had surprises before and some understand. Rest were gorgeous, great physiques. 1 was definitely a pro IMO. 2 others came close, but were single moms, so I think they were doing the P4P. The other 3 were also P4P in the sense I mention above. The one that lasted a month, I really liked, spent lots of $ on her, but it was hard to manage since it was too close to home and too risky. If she had been in the city I visit, it would have definitely gone longer and kept my total much fewer.

  176. flyr says:

    @ peach – my followup comment disappeared. I understand and agree with your comment on time expectations, especially if the SD is not going out of his way to make the time special for you. But regardless of the quality of the time, you have a life…..

  177. Peach says:

    Flyr- while you have some good points I do think that what I said about SD was and the money was taken out of context. I guess you would have to see how much time he wants vs the $650 I get month. Then the fact that he made me feel bad about it. He wants to hang out everyday if I said it was ok. Most SD’s like or want spaces hence the whole idea of not being in a traditional relationship.

    Gtt- I must of missed in there where you said that you still wear a condom after STD testing. And the diseases you are talking about are cured with a shot or pill. I would be more concerned about the permanent ones that most people don’t test for frequently. I myself am at the doctor we any and every new partner condom or not. I’m a paranoid freak about getting something. In fact my doctor has talked to me more than once about coming into her office too often and offered me and anxiety med. She would say, “Your Fine!!!!!”. I have slipped up before and I think that’s what made me so freaked out the anxiety while waiting for test results is NO FUN! So I’m all got safe play any day!

  178. lizzykad says:

    I just want to join but can’t login I really need to be pampered.

  179. lizzykad says:

    Pls I have tried to join the seeking agreement but I can pls does anybody know how I can join so I can be pampered by a sugar daddy.

  180. flyr says:

    @ash —-“I’m starting to think I’m going to leave him alone and move on because his attitude and we haven’t even met yet, shows no respect and I’m really nice I want an SD that’s sweet and talkative too.”

    I think you answered your question…………………………………….

  181. flyr says:

    Blondie – I think you’re right – expiration date
    they were temporary to begin with
    unforeseen changes
    simply growing apart

    @Ash – could your profile name be Ash

  182. blondie says:

    @Rob I was with him for about 15 months, exclusively. I do think these type of relationships have a time limit though. I mean, it’s just as in real life, in the beginning it’s exciting and new, then both parties end up in a routine and taking each other for granted. If I wanted that, I would have stayed in my marriage ! Maybe I’m just not a long relationship type of girl. I have received 24 messages from him in the past 24 hours. Eek!

  183. Eloquence says:

    To all of the commentators of the posts past & present, I valiantly applaud your mindshare with gratefulness, as I (like Ash) am very much “green & naïve” on the terminology and who will authentically “walk their talk”. I have very much embraced many truths from reading these blogs the past week. Each of us truly desires to be accepted & cared for in an honorable, genuine way without having to be asked or bribed amidst each of the encounters variables and not judged in the interim of it all.

    To give a brief synopsis of experiences on SA for almost 2 yrs now, I have only met 3 men (pls do not laugh but its true) even though I have corresponded with what I believe to be a thousand men via email or text to no avail in endless rhetoric.

    I too would & have carried on at jest on all sorts of variations of comments simply to see what the person was all about. My style & verse of conversation is not for everyone, no doubt… I have met with but only 3 men to date with only 1 poor experience.

    My # 3 experience meeting was 2 mths ago, my last to date which was my first plane ticket out of state (to meet anyone for I have never drove nor flown to meet anyone) for him to give me $300.00 to cover a sitter with a 1k plane ticket & He did ask what I wanted up front..but again, I had no clue what to say so I segwayed to an alternate topic.. and felt I handeled it poorly when it was all said and done. I had no clue what to say or request b/c my other 2 experiences were not normal either…

    my 2nd experience was a dinner with a gentleman who drove 4 hours to see me, spent 8 hours with me walking in downtown, dressing me, wine tasting, he spent 3K in clothes, gave me 1k in cash, no sex, held my hand through out the day and at dinner, I was home before midnight and his lips only graced mine upon the farewell…. Again, I never once asked for money nor knew what to expect due to my first being a 2 year relationship to a was/is married SD (sin upon sin, Im well aware & swore a married man would not come nigh my door, hence it headed my direction upon my condemnation) & it took us 6 mths to have actual sex..

    The 6 months itself (of my 2 yr affair) consisted of a courting love affair of flowers, gifts, crazy sex texts, and a whole roller coaster ride of emotions, roll play & grandure that made the experience itself the actual ailment & the elixir of the high. Needless to say, since I am a mother of 2 (and pretended to be experienced in all nonsense of a SA Pro, he knew far better, but only in time as he tested me by showing up & calling me only after he was already in my driveway or at my door) He gave me money during the 6 months of $3k a month & better at times…Even when we were only kissing/petting heavy as 2 school kids would as perspiration would trickle down his brow, my torso amidst discussing his childhood, listening to his dreams and sexual lust amoungst us both. And yes….. I realized he had his wife & probably other SB’s (who knows)….. nor did I lack suitors inquiring of me but it was the “experience”, the mentoring, and with all truth, the more money he kept indulging me in made all the wrongs right b/c the lust factor was already there that he created with his charismatic persuasion.

    The point I’m trying to make here is that I KNOW that is not normal… I KNOW from all of the gentleman emailing asking for “test drives” whom one gent was finally kind enough to explain the definition to me (and I do call them gentleman simply b/c we are all creatures whom act out on our own belief system, so “technically” the style of the arrangement is not wrong nor perverse nor creepy unless it does not meet our own expectations within your own guidelines of “self” …..

    To tie my apparently long synopsis (novel) here back to the initial comment is.. take me for example.. I have spoken to a ridiculous amount of men via emails, I have roll played with them in whatever mood I was vs. theirs because my 2 yr SD is married & wanted me to have a boyfriend too…yet out of all the emails sent & time I have invested & wasted… I learned in one week of reading your blog what it has taken me 2 years to experience & I’m thankful I am not the only one out here wanting a genuine long term, monogamous SD/SB relationship. And hopefully if I get bitten in the interim as I did my last encounter that I learn I am held accountable for my own actions, so when I move next time, I will move with deliberate eloquence irrigardless if the suitor reciprocates such or not.

  184. gtt_envy says:

    @Peach, yes a STD test before lol. I’m one of those “Can only see a sb 1-2 times a month maxxxxxxxx” type of guys. I get paranoid going down on a girl if she hasn’t been tested. If I even have a inkling of a worry she is sexual active I’ll ask for another I spend more on STD tests then most would imagine.

    It’s a curse………..sometimes I wish I could just believe people are honest and wearing protection, but I don’t. I’ve known so so many college aged “dudes” with Chlamydia and Gonorrhea it’s double digits and HSV2.

    The amount of girls on the pill that don’t demand protection because “He’s just a friend…..I’ve known him forever we just get crazy every so often!!” STD numbers in the college arena are nuts at least in big cities lol.

    Yes, I didn’t wear a condom once after being in a sugar relationship for awhile and then my mind went batshit crazy and I went and got a 12 panel STD test 4 weeks later. I don’t know how people have unprotected sex unless they are living together lol.

  185. flyr says:

    “The problem is he wants more sex and I want to keep it where it’s at unless the “allowance” changes.”

    The foundational question is if there was ever a meeting of the minds over x level of sugar + sprinkles + chariot to carry sugar = y or 4Y sex……..

    Over a number of years my attitude has been that meetings with SB normally included sex and that’s been a shared understanding from the start. I understand time being rationed but personally I am not a fan of sugar rationing as I think it is a wartime measure. Of course there are exceptions but most SB’s including present are sensitive about maintaining a level playing field with makeup games scheduled in the even of rain. I’m also sensitive to the normal rule of the castle – ladies first…

    I’ve always been pretty much a one SB guy for a lot of reasons including simplicity, feelings, safety, etc. When I spent a lot of time in Oregon I generally have a fishing/hiking/ rafting SB on a seasonal basis so I guess that might count as 1.5.

    My criteria includes intellect and someone for whom the sugar is helping them advance towards there life dreams, not more shoes, drugs etc. Prior to finding current SB I ran across a lot of “rescue” SB’s who were legitimate victims of the economy over the last 7 years.

    There are, in this economy, tens of millions of underemployed/unemployed people who formerly had high quality , good paying jobs. It’s had effects on the population of SDs and SBs and is probably the source of some of the angst. As a side note I do not see that changing much for the good in the next few years.

    As the risk of being “osterized” I’ll add that I think a lot of the emotional drama fades in the early 30’s . It may be that the SB’s are doing a better job of recruiting and selecting, but the drama is in the rear view mirror. It’s not so much calendar age as maturity. My personal view is that if you are thinking of rationing sex (vs time) in the arrangement it for one of two reasons – you are not OK with having sex with the person or you are tying sexual events very closely to sugar . If you are jumping out of bed and heading out the door the moment the act is done you probably need a new SD or a new job title.

    I think a lot of the feminine angst I hear on the blog comes from their feeling that having sex with their SD is beneath them. If that’s how the feel they need to make better choices. The whine that there are no 26 year old , multimillionaire , socially adept rocket scientists with Andonis like bodies on SA so they are forced to sacrifice falls on challenged ears.

    In Oregon city girls occasionally ask if I have bottled water out at the cabin……. I try to explain that the pump outside draws 40 degree water from an aquifer that’s primarily volcanic glacial till bringing water from glaciers on the Sisters directly to the door. Why would I pay for bottled water.

  186. MoresugarSB says:

    Resolution: more sugar…

  187. Peach says:

    Gtt- An STD test prior? While that sounds smart and all, some STDs will not show up on a test right away. The serious ones that is. Unless you are saying you have them take an STD test and you also wear protection. I totally believe in getting checked frequently however it’s not a form of protection. I always always have a condom in reach you never know and in the heat of the moment. Not trying to be a Debbie downer but a mans money won’t protect me from STD’s. I had an out of town guy that was making arrangements to come visit for a week and he said at $500 a day will I see him. I was entertaining the idea…. not sure if he was even coming. So I start asking a few important questions like about protection. He says, “I hate condoms and I never wear them”. And then said he is clean he doesn’t need condoms. That was the end of that conversation.

    Stats:

    29
    First SD at 25 (2 years)
    1+ year off sugar
    Sugar dates here and there and a few p4p
    Out of town SD since 6/13 (48) (once a month or 3 never know)
    Met local in 7/13 (58)
    Both know about each other

  188. Ash says:

    @Rob you welcome and I see that you weren’t actually trying to profile just your opinions which were GREAT lol. It was just so on the nail you might have been missing some but you did a great assessment and I now even know the different type of girls on this sight and that I’m not 1 of the few like me. Well talking to @onyx_p I learned there’s some awesome chicks on here as well. Also yes I will totally let you know. this blog has been sooo great for me I learned so much and I have a better idea of how to carry myself on this sight. You guys are so awesome.

    As far as finding me on this site, I would say search SB’S in the orlando area and my name is Moni. If you don’t find me that way let me know:)

    @blondie
    Gosh blondie that sounds crazy. The SD I am talking to UGH I totally think he would end up like that. I’m starting to think I’m going to leave him alone and move on because his attitude and we haven’t even met yet, shows no respect and I’m really nice I want an SD that’s sweet and talkative too.

  189. NC Gent says:

    @SD-Rob — I have had three sugar relationships. The first one lasted two years, and the other two each lasted 10 months. The first sugar relationship was monogamous and the other two SBs were dating while they were seeing me. I have never had more than one SB at a time, but there have been times when I was looking when I had an SB.

  190. onyx_percula says:

    @ Mods — I case you missed it from the last blog, Ash and I would like to exchange email addresses if you would be so kind as to facilitate that.

  191. onyx_percula says:

    @ SD-Rob — Longest was just shy of 3 years, during those years she was the only one.

    This last year has been a roller coaster ride! I have had (7) arrangements this last year. At the peak I had (3) at once. I currently have (2) the live-in to be SB and the once a month SB.

    Of those SBs one is a con-artist/scam/ripoff and keeps multiple guys on the con all the time. So technically she has more than on SD at a time all the time.

    Two real SBs are known to have more than one SD at a time.

    Three real SBs of the are known to only have one SD at a time. This does not mean they did not have other men in their lives. One of those three does not see anyone else but me.

    One “real” SB doesn’t really count as she met a couple of times, felt guilty about taking money and having sex, returned her allowance and quit the sugar. So I was the first and last SD for her.

  192. gtt_envy says:

    @SD-Rob, never more than 1 SB at a time. I look for something very specific, so often the SB isn’t willing to do the prework I request. Shows how STD tests still freak people out, but I won’t sleep with someone until they have had one (I’ll pay for it) that makes many girls run. Like I’m degrading them assuming they have a STD.

    Defining a arrangement as once some form of intimacy starts to when you stop hanging out and the allowance stops.

    2-14 months so far.

  193. SD-Rob says:

    @ All- I am curious to hear some stats as well to put all this in perspective.
    How may SBs have the experienced SDs had say per year, per 6 month, I don’t know per month or something like that?
    Same with the SBs, how many SDs?
    What has been the longest arrangement? I hear Peach say she was on one for 2 years!! Of course that one was more organic than being on SA. But what it is for those who met their sugar on SA?
    I take it the shortest is one date of course, which may or may not have included an intimate session.
    How many SBs at the same time, same with how many SDs at the same time?
    I think it is interesting to compare , although to each his/her own of course.

  194. SD-Rob says:

    @ Ash- from last topic
    thanks for the compliment! By the way, I was not trying to profile anyone in the list I made, in case that is taken the wrong way, but to list my experiences, that is why I asked others to comment to see how their experiences may match mine or are they different, and could be used by a new SD as a guide (again I wish I had one when I started). A list of different SD that SBs have run into could be useful for the new SBs, so they do not have to wade through all the various posts and blogs. I suggested that SA make such guides available in a separate blog, since it is really hard to pull such things out of all these posts.
    I am glad to hear that at least according to you I was nearly perfect. DancingDevi also pointed out herself as in category 7, which I had not come across.
    Let us know what happens with you and your SD. How he takes it. This is all therapy here in a way. I feel much better since I started posting! You sound like a great SB, so don’t sell yourself short. Is there a way to see your profile , btw, or others here? Is it just through the moderators?

  195. Bastian says:

    @ Onyx- how I can relate to the hot sex’ting with someone miles away! But builds anticipation for when we meet!!

  196. Bastian says:

    @ Peach- I am curious about your non SA arrangement. When the guy pursued you , did you guys then fall into an arrangement or did you guys talk about it specifically and agreed on something? I had one SB who had someone like that for 2 years, and another who had two based on meetings on the street, bar, work, etc. In one case, the man (SD) gave $, while in the other he took care of the SB needs , gifts, trips, etc.
    I find this fascinating since I have run into two situations like this being on the plane so much. One with a 20 year old (very mature for her age) student, and another with a 35 year old divorcee. I have not acted on either although we are in text communication. One of the great things about SA from my point of view is that I do not have to bother with the pursuit and the courting as much here, which as I have mentioned before takes time, which is in short supply for me, who has a day or two window every week for that. So, several dates, etc, it is maybe a month before I discover what the end game is, while with SA it has sometimes (actually surprisingly mostly) been on the first date when the end game is known. But the lure of something natural is strong and I keep wondering if these woman clearly knowing that I am married, and one being 20+ younger, are expecting being taken care of (I am sure that is the case for the younger one, which by the way, has a long distance boyfriend !!)

  197. Bastian says:

    @ Peach- I do not feel you are holding the blog up at all!! I think that is exactly what the blog is for, to share experiences so we can all learn, since I know in my case being on the SD scene for about a year, and as much as I wanted to have only one SB ideally, now having had over 10 “arrangements” of all sorts that were categorized before, and having met and discussed arrangements with another 10+, I can still learn and continue to from all the various posts, bad or good.
    One thing about the sugar world that I think we all look for is having it be drama free. I feel like discussing everything clearly, even the $ part, which may be awkward as I mentioned, is critical to avoid misunderstandings and drama later. Also, when I come across too much drama despite all the discussions, I know it is time to move on unfortunately, and I know it is probably the best of the SB as well, or if she wants to move on then it is probably the best for me.
    Sounds like you are not desperate, good looking and in good shape, intelligent , a good catch, and can easily find better. Just like in real life you want to move on and I would not give more sex for more $ if you do not like the sex. Soon you will not be happy with that either and as Zack says you want to be fair to your SD as well and let him go now, than later when the too low $ is not a factor, but you are still unhappy. Drama is for marriage and real life. Your situation sounds like my marriage, everything great, but the sex.
    I will give you my example, when I met a VERY hot 22 year old blond, killer body, etc. We met once, clicked really well, had a great time together, then had sex the second time, and it was awful at least for me. She got off, so she enjoyed herself, but she was not used to the extended (normal) activities I was into. The allowance she wanted, looking at it from the SD point of view, was quite small compared to what I was used to. Sounded like a perfect situation. But the fact that the sex was bad, was the red flag for me. I took her out another time, no sex, nice upscale restaurant in the city, gave her her allowance (even more than what we had agreed on). and told her it was best if we looked for something else. Fortunately, although she was upset, she was understanding. Always, think about her great looks and body, but have come across others that are the same, but regardless still do not regret the decision.

  198. onyx_percula says:

    @ Peach — Something that makes sugar a little unusual compared to most things, having been sugaring for years doesn’t always equal experience.

    —-

    Well I found a pot “back up” to my live-in to be SB. If things fall through I found someone else that would be a good replacement, well as far as I have gone with it, which isn’t very far at all, just a few emails.

    Once a month SB is cursing for a spanking! I got “assaulted” with a phone blowing up of great sext’ing, and she isn’t even in the same state as me right now! Damn her! But I got my “revenge” by hitting her with lots and lots of Tumblr links to shibari pics, she is going to need a beach towel to “dry off”, lol 😉

    Some days the sugar is oh so sweet! 😀

  199. Zack says:

    Please hold the blog up, someone has to 😀

    I’m less than half a year on the site…half of my words are as much trial balloons as guesses (hmm.)

    Think he might WANT to read the blog? heheheheh…trying to learn…

  200. Peach says:

    Zack- Air dirty laundry lol not my intention. I wanted advice which I got and was done talking about it because I didn’t want to hold the blog up! I really didn’t know what to do with this guy but thanks to the advice I received I was able to get SD perspectives. This is all new to me in a way because I haven’t have many arrangements and truthfully trying to keep it that way. BUT I know it takes time to find the right match of chemistry.

    No he’s not reading this but if he is he isn’t on the site so you won’t have to worry about drama. However I will update in shorter versions in the future but I’m all good and looking forward to this year! :)

  201. Zack says:

    Heh, welcome to the Sugar Bowl. I hope you enjoy your ride. If not, please, notice your ticket does not expire until you want to leave 😛

    Sounds like this blog becomes a substitute for a real conversation for ya, Peach. Ok, so we can assume he’s reading it. (If not, keep us posted, ha, ha.) He sounds new, frustrated and uncertain. He’s welcome here; drama can be fun if you guys actually want to air dirty laundry…but tasteful lingerie is appreciated, even on the clothes line…so far, so good…

    😀 😀 😀

  202. Peach says:

    Bastian- I agree for the most part however I needed to move right away due to my circumstances. SD and I never even discussed any arrangement it was literally “hey let’s get you into an apartment and I’ll hep with move in cost and co-sign”. I had no intention on him paying anything as I could pay for everything with my income. He calls me and says he hooked cable, internet and electric up in his name. Never discussed it with me. We never discussed anything as far as what was going to work for both of us. So I move in and we hung out like I said and had sex here and there. I was always going off of what $ he was helping me out with. It wasn’t till today that he expressed that he thought he would be getting more sex and if he was giving me an allowance then I would be more intimate. No one likes hearing that I don’t like having sex with him, well it’s the truth! I can’t figure out what it is because I never had this issue with an SD before. I thought and thought what is it? And all that came to me was the huge age gap and the fact that I look younger for my age and he looks older leaving the gap bigger. It’s the massive amount of hair I feel on his back during sex, the as soon as sex starts I feel awkward, I have to be in a really good mood, when he’s tried to go south on me I feel like he couldn’t get me wet with a water bottle if he tried. It’s not sugar daddy it’s sugar grandpa! And we have both said that! It SUCKS because I really really enjoy our time outside of that. We laugh and joke and play around at dinner, movies and shows. Someone once said that sugar can sometime be like a real relationship. That said I know a few people that don’t have great sex but they like everything else. The problem is he wants more sex and I want to keep it where it’s at unless the “allowance” changes. He totally upset me today and then turned around and was super apologetic and blamed the argument on text messages being taken the wrong way but then didn’t call me. It’s becoming bizarre to me. For every issue there is him trying to fix it. I think your right and so is everyone I think it’s time to start thinking about moving on. I don’t like having relationship problems with someone I’m not in a traditional relationship with. Sugar is suppose to be fun. Like I said never had issues with an SD before. Most are happy, content and the sex is great! Thanks again for you comments. I am so done talking about this but I welcome any advice from SD’s. I have been an SB for 3 years but only 2 arrangements came from online. The other was a guy who pursued me one night at a club I was out for a bday and it lasted 2 years. And that was before I knew about sugar life back then I was just a lonely house wife!

  203. Zack says:

    Blondie, Peach…I’m new (ish, maybe), too…but I’m seeing a hot button of mine lurking in the shadows here…

    Guys don’t do a very good job of describing that heart level click often sought (exclusivity is a common stand in). Most of us realize we have to get off “cash as numbers” and “make it about the relationship.” Peach, your guy, at least, was really trying for that and completely did not get the at least GFE he wanted. (Nor did he pay for it, click for you, etc…not your fault, his failure to express his needs or expectations.)

    But please, don’t tell yourselves the guys aren’t hurting. Help them learn, at least, what they can’t talk about…leave them better for the next pot SB :)

  204. Bastian says:

    @ Blondie – just curious whether you would have continued if he had not become clingy? Was it that you were just tired of him as well?
    Nonetheless, we all know that what we invest may not pay off in our opinions and should move on. There is lots more sugar to be found for either side…!
    Curious as to how old your SD was/is?

  205. Bastian says:

    @ Peach – I am not surprised by the turn of events having read your previous posts.
    Two problems I see here IMO. 1- It seems likes the terms of the arrangement were not fully laid out in the beginning as much as it may have been awkward to do so explicitly. 2- You, as you have mentioned before, did not really like this guy sexually.
    I think if either one were different then it may not have come to this, but to me it seemed inevitable. I would move on and as you have heard before, find someone who gives you what you are worth. I have also found that it may be best for the SB just to get the money and handle the finances herself, as opposed to having the SD involved in paying rent, etc. My two cents worth.

  206. Peach says:

    Onyx- lots and lots has been built since then. It’s a hell of a lot more than it was in ’10. I was there for 4 years. And saw it boom. Still though the people haven’t changed and the school system is horrible! I couldn’t wait to get out but miss my friends there :). Everyone knows everyone!

  207. Peach says:

    @Blondie- sadly but I think I’m about to be going through the same. I just got told off for the first time from SD and you better believe he pulled the “I do so much for you” card! I’ll save you of the story because I’ve posted it before and I really don’t want to explain it again. So long story short SD and I never really discussed the arrangement. Every time I tried to bring it up he said and I quote, “I’m helping you because I want to and feel like I need to and you owe me nothing” “I want to make your life less stressful. Gets me an apartment I move in and he pays $400 toward the rent and $200 toward utilities. Soooo naturally I assume he only needs sex once a month because that’s all I’m doing for $600-$650 a month in an arrangement. I have done p4p at less but that was a rare occasion. SD is 30 years older and we go out a lot and he has got me a good amount of gifts. We went to see Andrew Dice Clay for my bday ($30 seats, me, him and my BFF) and had a few drinks.

    I get a text this morning saying “I’m HORNEY!”. I just had sex with him a few days ago(Don’t forget it’s only been once a month). I ask about $. He says I’m counting it right now. Then a few hours go by and I get the “so I’m not getting any today.” I say “that’s your call” and he says “no you make the decisions” I say “I thought you were counting your money”. He goes “I’m paid up”.

    Well that’s when it started! I remind him that he only gives me a $650 allowance a month. Holy hell what a mistake! Well what about the trip to ikea, Khol’s and costco and don’t forget ADC show! I told him what’s the point of giving me a gift if I owe you for it? He was like I spent so much money when I took you and your friend to the show. It was my BIRTHDAY! Jeez!

    After I explained to him that I’m not going to sell myself short and that while gifts are nice I could much more use the money and a higher allowance would for sure get him more sex.

    He went into explain how when we got into this he thought he would be getting laid more and he figured $300 for each time …. Which even then is twice a month. But then goes “even though I know you are worth so much more than that”.

    Not only did I talk about the money issue but I did tell him that in MOST SD/SB arrangements the SD usually does more for the SB can or ever will be able to do for the SD. But it should at least be equal. Some of the remarks SD has made make me think he has no idea about what it takes. When we were going over how much he will be helping with the bills he said “well what’s the most you can pay because I want you to be able to pay as much as you can BUT I am willing to help with up to $650”.

    Rant over but I just had to get out my frustration with a crowd that knows the lifestyle. I’m irritated and offended actually but it will be sorted out. Honestly it felt good to finally tell him that he is way off base and we are on two totally different ideas of what this arrangement is.

    Thank you sugars for reading!

  208. Richard says:

    Like my ex-wife who complained about all the time she had “invested” in me…like I was a mutual fund or something. :(

    Clingy and desperate is NOT sexy…sounds like you made the right decision. Now hopefully he won’t act like a stalker!

  209. flyr says:

    Blondie sometimes you got to fire the boss.

  210. SugarySpicey says:

    Blondie – I had an SD say, “I invested a lot in this arrangement and I don’t feel like my investment gave me the return I expected” then implied he wanted a refund. Fuck him! He got what he was hoping for, just because he wanted more doesn’t mean I’m obligated to give it. Cut off all contact and let him cool down.

  211. blondie says:

    @Flyr That is true, I suppose, men do not like their ego being bruised. I think they like to do the hiring and firing, not the other way around.

  212. flyr says:

    “Any other sugar babies have this experience breaking up”

    The sugar world is remarkably similar to IRL .

  213. blondie says:

    Just broke up with my SD and he did not take it well at all. He’s my first SD. Together over a year, but he has become very clingy and constantly needing to be in touch with me via text, calls, vibr, sending me facebook messages. It just got too much. I felt suffocated and it was exhausting. Then when I said I couldn’t deal it and wanted to be on my own for a while, he played the “after all I’ve done for you” card…. like he didn’t get anything out of the arrangement…. Any other sugar babies have this experience breaking up with a SD ?

  214. onyx_percula says:

    @ Peach — the last time I went to the bosses house for BBQ, hmmm 2010 I think. Maybe 2009.

  215. Peach says:

    When was the last time you were there!? It’s actually livable now and BOOMING!

  216. onyx_percula says:

    @ Peach — That’s not a town, its a hamlet, lol. Is it still like one occupied house for every ten that are vacant?

  217. Peach says:

    @Richard just made me feel better about being 29 😉

    NY resolution- too many things to list but if I can manage to keep the body I’ve had since I was 18 I’ll be happy! I do however eventually want C cup implants.

    More important I’m in my second year of school and wish to maintain my 4.0 GPA.

    Onyx- I agree, never become fully reliant on an SD or anyone for that matter! I learned this 2 years ago and I can only educate females younger than me that the sooner you gain independence the better you will feel. Sugar makes my life less stressful while I’m in school but if it ended tomorrow I would still have a roof over my head and food on the table. What I wouldn’t have is spending money, help with bills, $130 perfumes, designer bags etc.

    Also SD co-signed he is reliable for the apartment, just as I am. If the crap hit the fan and he couldn’t pay then I would. I wouldn’t screw someone over I would just cut off communication. Worst scenario I have a house in a town 30 min away. I just hate it there!

  218. Richard says:

    @GTT – I’m not sure…I haven’t browsed the SD profiles…and “rich” is relative, after all. Wasn’t Marilyn on a cruise ship in that movie? Not a private yacht? :)

    I think the $250 p4p arrangement is paltry. I’ve found no shortage of “smoking hot 20 somethings” on this site…the problem is the shortage of smoking hot 30 somethings! :)

  219. gtt_envy says:

    @Bastian, and I agree the rush usually pushes me to the SD side, but when I’m feeling grounded that’s when I start to think “This is really stupid!”.

    @Richard, I agree with the MM statement if we are talking truly wealthy which 99.9% of the site is not. Then you are assuming the SB actually sees and experiences this lifestyle of trips abroad, yachts, and private aircraft…….lol.

    Look at the discussion where we are discussing if 250$p4p is a good amount……..gimme a break. The SD types you speak of are as common as the smoking hot 20 somethings that can’t wait to bang their SD 20+ years her senior for $500 bucks, imo 😉

  220. Richard says:

    @gtt – As Marilyn said famously: “Don’t you know that a man being rich is like a girl being pretty? You wouldn’t marry a girl just because she’s pretty, but my goodness, doesn’t it help?” (I guess I should attribute that to the screenwriter instead, but I don’t know who it is!)

    Would you still be turned on by one of your beautiful SBs if she suddenly gained 50 lbs? Or aged 20 years overnight? I believe many women are attracted less by the actual amount of an allowance or the cost of a nice gift than by the validation associated with it. That you appreciate her and place a high value on her. IMHO. Sugary?

  221. Bastian says:

    @Gtt-envy
    I have had various thoughts about quitting given some of the experiences, but it is just too enticing. And there are some really nice girls on the site. I indeed have one who did not even ask for the allowance after a couple of hot steamy meetings. She was really into it, liked a guy about 20+ years older, but still in very good shape, etc, and I had to force her to take some $. She had a good job and did not need the $. I have had ones who asked for less, when I told them I could not afford what we had started off with, and they accepted a big cut (I started pretty high though).
    Anyhow, those experiences make up for some of the others, which some like Spicey may say were well deserved and brought on by myself (I respectfully disagree though :)) And ones like you say you just get a feeling that the $ is the key motivator. I liked SD-Rod’s categorization, since I have come across almost all!!
    Anyhow, I have been on the fence, but always fall on the SD side so far.

  222. Bastian says:

    @ Spicey- Let me clarify that I have not been exclusive with a number of SBs I have had, and vice versa. I never bring this up and I think it you browse the profiles you will see there are many who clearly say they want one single SD. I know some really do, I have run into them but things have not worked out.
    Also, when I say exclusive in the SD/SB world to me it equates to one SD with one SB. If not, then I am not sure what it means? At the same time, remember that exclusivity for me at least in a way limits the available sugar I can experience. In a sense, it is not the best arrangement for me. But I liked this girl and we seemed to be compatible and was tired of jumping from SB to another (again based on mutual agreements with the others).
    In the particular case I mention, I have gone over it many times and I come up with the same conclusion. She did mention wanting one SD herself. I welcomed that. When we talked face to face, she even disparaged those who jump from one guy to another in or out of SD/SB world. When we kissed, I certainly wanted sex, but she had to run to another engagement which she had already told me about before, and we had made just enough time to meet for a first date, to be continued later, so we knew there was no time for taking it further. She also clearly said that she wanted to go one first date before we got intimate and I respected that.
    You may be right about the flirting bit. Maybe she was just trying to see the reaction, get excited about the possibility but was not going to act on it based on all she had told me about her character, especially on a first date. But I will never know.
    What I did there was to protect myself, not any lies or deceit, at least not any more than from the other side. I spend a lot of time, energy (not to mention S, which is secondary to me) to find someone I really like and connect with and expect some level of honesty, especially when I am upfront and ready to stick by my word. When she asks me to stop with all others and focus on her, I will but need to make sure that it is reciprocated, given all the investment I put in it.
    My conclusion is that I should just click by the ones who ask for the one SD deal no matter how appealing they may be, since that may really be a fantasy more than reality in here.

  223. gtt_envy says:

    I guess it just goes back to my hang up with the sb/sd dynamic………I can’t see a size 4-6 sexy early 20 something want to go bang a guy 20+ years her senior for $250 a session. That just seems freaking nuts to me!! The SB’s I’ve had have all been really pretty not Miss USA perfect, but “Damn, did you see that walk by!!” pretty. Maybe if you lower the scale a little I could see it IDK..

    Now change the terms a little bit and say 2 times a month, fun dates, and make the allowance $1000-$1500 I definitely can see that.

    For me Onxy the scams hurt, but then also it’s knowing deep down that I’m just a checkbook regardless of how nice, sweet, and legitimate she seems to be. Or how much we talk, txt, and chit chat…. I know that if I said “Hey, I can no longer provide a allowance!” that it’s all over just like that like a flip of a switch.

    I’ve heard it a million times from ex SB’s that talk about there previous SD stalking, saying ILY, move in with me, and then they have to end it. Proving yet again that for the “man” it’s often much more real than for the “woman” involved. For many SD’s they think or they start to think “She really really likes me. I know she does by her body language, communication, her smile, she’s really into me!” when in reality she is just knows her place and is a good actress.

    Lastly, because I’m so damn cynical I miss the trust that a normal relationship has. I just don’t trust SB’s any of them lol. Unless they are a live in like you have or will have or you know literally everything about them address, school. work, everything I just can’t help but think “Yep, she’s boning someone else even when she says she isn’t. I’m gonnna get a freaking STD I know it!!”, “Then I start wondering if I go down on her am I gonna get the Chlam, Gon, Herpes, HPV etc etc” and then it’s no fun anymore.

    Rant off …………starting off the year thinking way too much lol.

  224. onyx_percula says:

    No resolutions, just some goals, wishes and desires…

    Goals: 1) Change jobs to a more stable and lucrative position. 2) Clear all consumer debt.

    Wishes and desires: 1) That my live-in to be SB can keep up with my sex drive. 2) That both of my current SBs (the live-in to be and the once monthly) are still my SBs this time next year. 3) That all of the dragons to be slain are really just little geckos with a ego problem. 4) Keep all my ladies happy, challenged and satisfied and that they can do the same for me. 😀

    @ gtt_envy — You have to realize that a $250/meet P4P is not a bad deal depending on a lot of things. Location, activities, duration, frequency, etc, etc. In my area it is very common to see P4P arrangements in the $200-$400 range. You will also see monthly arrangements with $1k to $3k as common. Most of the time those higher allowances have more on the table. An arrangement is between two people, both need to be comfortable with it. For some getting an extra $1k a month for a few hours of their time a week that they find enjoyable to begin with a godsend. Others are going to feel like they could make more as an BP escort and are being cheap, dirty and disgusting.

    In my area a lot of luxury/upgraded apartments are about $1k/month. Nice decent safe apartments can be had for $500-$800. Sure you can spend $20k on one here too. So for a 20’something that has been living in dorms or apartments/houses with roommates the idea of having a regular allowance that allows them to live alone “rent free” is pretty attractive.

    Another example might be that same 20’something that has a few tickets and doesn’t have great credit. They could very easily be paying $300-$400/month for a new(er) car and another $200-$400/month in car insurance. Again having that extra $1k a month is pretty attractive.

    To the SBs out there, you should never become dependent on an allowance, especially for critical things like housing or transportation. But with some proper planning and prudent execution you can use that allowance for housing and/or transportation. Before you go get that new place or that new(er) car, stick with what you have and bank that extra from the allowance until you have a comfortable savings built up. So if you sign a year lease and your SD vanishes after 3 months, you have enough savings you have time to find a new SD. If you just can’t save the whole allowance save as much as possible it just extends the time it takes to save up.

    Sure I feel like quitting every time I get ripped off. Whenever I find utter deception. Yep wanted to throw my hands up and say fuck it several times this last year.

    But I don’t have the time to do the regular dating thing, I have done the FWB/FB “network” in my area and find it drama filled and not worth the effort. I could become active in the kink and/or swing community but that isn’t really my focus and typically misses the age dynamic I seek anyway. So sugar is an ideal solution for me… I’m not attracted to women in my age group, so looking in a place where the norm is what I do normally seek cuts down on the chaf. Where the expectation is limited drama, defined boundaries, etc, etc are all just very well suited to me.

  225. Rose says:

    Happy New Year Everyone :) X

  226. flyr says:

    WOW I left the board for a few hours to party and it exploded with comments.

    @Ash – “Pleaseee let me know girls. I really wish I had a close SB friend I can talk too lol. If he turned out to be true then maybe he can plan a trip for us BUT back to the problem for now because nothing is set in gold until I know the pros and cons of this..”

    ASH Happy New Year – You have won the BNF (Best New Friend) lottery ———a dozen or two here – the are here, honest and caring. You are hearing what they think rather than what they think you want to hear, unfiltered and from the SB and SD viewpoints.

    Back to basics –

    Economics – I’m missing something here- spending a day with the guy plus commuting 11 hours 150 miles for $250……. That seems a low but it really depends on the quality of the experience and your alternatives. .HOWEVER, you know far too little about what’s involved to make any kind of a decision.

    He needs to come to meet you with the understanding that sex is not on or under the table. Not ” I’m not going to have sex on the first meeting unless I like you”, but NO……SEX ……… FIRST MEETING. That doesn’t mean you can’t change your mind. It’s the management of expectations that counts. The video request makes that position all the more important. First meeting is of course at a public place.

    My general rule is half month allowance prior to first encounter. From a guy standpoint the P4P is a great deal as it’s not a loss if you miss a week. If you are counting on the cash it’s a problem. As for the extra 4 weeks a year, my guess is that most who enter into a monthly agreement with weekly meetings miss enough days that the two are equal economically. Also there’s probably a premium for the reliability if it in fact happens.

    Probably the hardest part is to make a personal assessment of your “value” as a SB – it has two components general and specific to the relationship contemplated. You may be have a Mensa level intellect, but he does not appreciate it the stereotype blond bimbo has the same value or perhaps more value.

    I think it was Peach who commented that she did not like to have sex with her local SD due to age, etc. You’ll be more comfortable with someone you want to have sex with and feel better about the relationship.

    The push to start Xrated Skype may be genuine high sex drive or simply wanting to see you naked, entertaining yourself. Something he can share with 2 or 3 thousand of his closest friends.

    There’s no substitute for a face to face meeting. He might be perfect and his needs aligned with yours but that’s all conjecture until you meet.

    The nice thing about the debit card is that you know the money is in the bank before you depart for the meeting. It also takes the commercial side out of the meeting.

  227. gtt_envy says:

    Who wants to quit sugar, but is finding it hard to step away lol I need to talk to that person 😉

  228. SugarySpicey says:

    Bastien – You got what you deserved through all your scheming and deceipt. Maybe your POT SB who was entertaining the P4P the next day was just bored and being flirty. I’ve “agreed” to P4P in SA messages out of pure curiosity what the freakshow SD was going to ask for next.

    Did I meet the guy? No
    Did I give him my real address, not my SA throwaway? No
    Did I have any intention to follow through? Nope

    Your tangled web of deceit snagged you in its trap and you missed out on what could have been a nice SB. Stop with the cloak and dagger games. Stop with the obsession over exclusivity. Take it easy and let “exclusivity” (or not) happen organically based on mutual interest. I GUARENTEE you said something first that made your SB think she needed to play the “exclusive” game, or you mistook “I want one SD long term” to mean “I will only have one SD regardless of click, or allowance.” When she passionately kissed you, maybe she was really wanting sex, since you didn’t provide it, she looked elsewhere. YOU were on SA doing the same thing!

    If you and an SB click, a lot of your concerns will melt away. But, your entrapment game will always backfire. SA is a numbers game and can be kind of addicting – but that doesn’t make the conversations real, most of the time, they are sound and fury signifying nothing.

  229. SouthernSB says:

    Happy New Year!!
    May it be filled with sugar and lots of gifts.

  230. Zack says:

    …And from Kentucky…
    …youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=GnJpDJTqyxc

    …and Wiki:
    The song’s Scots title may be translated into English literally as “old long since”, or more idiomatically, “long long ago”,[5] “days gone by” or “old times”. Consequently “For auld lang syne”, as it appears in the first line of the chorus, might be loosely translated as “for (the sake of) old times”.

  231. Pebbles says:

    HAPPY NEW YEAR ALL!
    From Florida

  232. blondie says:

    first !!! Yay ! I want more sugar !!! And I want to be clearer about what my needs are, and I will finally stop feeling bad about asking about what I need.

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