4 years ago
End-of-Summer Sugaring

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Hello Sugars! I hope that everyone is enjoying every last bit of summer thoroughly. Our apologies for the issues with the comment box. It has been resolved and we’re back in business, folks! For Sugar Babes and Sugar Daddies, summer is an opportunity to indulge in each other thanks to all that extra free time. But much like sunburns and travel regret, every Sugar should be aware of how to deal once the over-indulgent days of summer dwindle down.

Set Your Alarm Clock Back

I know, I know. Our eyes may still be hazy from getting massages on the beach in Belize or the Bahamas, but missing a step by not syncing schedules is a rookie mistake. Sugar Babies are back in school or taking on more hours at work. While Daddies are back to board meetings, contract deals, and the business dealings of fall. Do some detective work on the return flight to find out exactly when schedule changes are set to take in effect. Your Sugar will be impressed—and remember your thoughtfulness when the time comes. Who is his or her number one Sugar? That’s right. You are!

Cutting Down on Summer Treats (For Sugar Babies)

We aren’t taking about the fattening kind. Although expecting the extra shopping trips and pocket cash synonymous with the summer season will come off as gluttonous not gracious. He’s the “fat cat”, remember?

Don’t Hibernate

Temperatures may be winding down, but that doesn’t give you an excuse to be a bore. Sugar Babies: Thoughtful or playful messages like, “Freezing in [insert your city] today. Made me miss Rio.” Accompany that with a picture of the two of you on the beach, or even wearing the jaw dropping bikini he bought you. He is sure to feel like it is 100 degrees again. Not to mention leaving the impression that this Sugar Baby has not missed a beat regardless of the slower season. Sugar Daddies: Getting back into the groove of things can difficult on both ends. If you need a pick-me-up, shoot your SB a quick call or text to reminisce on your last trip with the intent of planning for the next. Looking forward to something, though months away, ought to make that 3 o’clock meeting go by faster.

What are after-summer survival tips for Sugar Daddies or Sugar Babies?

How has your summer Sugar been?

 

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82 Responses to “End-of-Summer Sugaring”

  1. TaylorMadeSB says:

    I have now made the big move from the south to the West Coast, I wonder what the sugar will be like around this area? Hopefully it’ll live up to the rumored :)

  2. SugarySpicey says:

    Onyx – Been quite an up and down spectacle lately, it’s been blurring the lines between anonymous and public a little.

    An ankle cage is used in heavy restraint domination – just shackles or something of the like, affixed to a solid surface (floor, chair, wall) caging the ankle to the surface.

  3. onyx_percula says:

    @Spicey, yes we have been talking, txt’ing, and emailing for nearly two weeks now. We have met face to face twice now for lunch and dinner, both of which ran way long with time lost in conversation.

    BTW you have an incredible blog! But it left me without a clue what an ankle cage was and google was no real help. Do share.

  4. SugarySpicey says:

    Onyx – sounds like maybe y’all have already talked quite a bit and that a certain level of familiarity has already been established. Glad for you that you found a match. It can be tricky.

  5. onyx_percula says:

    @Spicey

    Normally I agree, that should set off every hair on the back of your neck. Makes pot SBs look like scams or easy. In this case the we only have to formally complete the arrangement, as is said in business “we have an agreement in principal” well before any of this came up.

    It was fairly easy to verify what she told me and she provided the required information without any hesitation. Not too mention she is a practical girl and the registration fees were about as much as a nice dinner for two. I would have been worried if she had asked for me to cover everything, she didn’t and refused my offer to give her a little more to help cover the expenses, and is insisting that the fees be deducted from her allowance.

  6. SugarySpicey says:

    Onyx – wow, that’s balsy of her to ask for money before you have an arrangement. Sugars! That is bad manners. You give us all a bad name when you start treating SDs like ATMs. That’s part of why men on this site think all of us are indigent strippers who will back flip onto the mattress and spread our legs for $100.

  7. onyx_percula says:

    @SouthernSB

    That’s just it, she is not real. She managed to upload a profile picture, there is no reason not too do it if you are real and seeking. After all its not like I asked for a shot of her in the nude. Considering the nature of the internet, and what potentially is at sake in the sugar scene you should be prepared to prove yourself, both parties. That is one reason I went ahead this week and got the background check done and am a verified member now.

    Oh and while I am posting… I just had to tell someone, and there is no one around that I can talk sugar with right now. The pot SB I have been talking to, working towards an arrangement hit me up with a small “help I need a little money”. I did my due diligence, confirmed the truthfulness of her story, and agreed. Her need, she was invited to audition for Playboy and didn’t have the money to get her registration on her car up to date before she needed to go to LA for it. And yes the sugar is set to start flowing this weekend. I am so proud and excited to say the least!

  8. SouthernSB says:

    Hi everyone,
    I’ve been lurking. Hope you all have had a good summer. I see we have some new people here. I like the fact that we have more SD in the mix. I know I don’t have much to say. But I’m always here and I always love to take the tips that are given., and I love the back and forth and the LOL moments.

    @ onyx WOW!! I can’t believe she wouldn’t at very least send you a picture through a throw away google e-mail. LOL

  9. onyx_percula says:

    As a follow up to my beware scam post…

    I went through a classic exchange with a SA SB last night and this morning.

    She wink’ed at me, I checked out her profile and messaged her. I explained in the message that I would need her to take a picture with a code on it before we could proceed further.

    She replied with a lame reason why she couldn’t do that.

    I reply with sorry no proof no further.

    She replies with an indigent and offended response. Talking about not being a prisoner and being the real thing and so on.

    It’s like someone read the blog posting I did and followed a script to demonstrate “how to spot a scam”. I am still laughing about it.

  10. onyx_percula says:

    @BN

    First RELAX!

    Should you talk on the phone before you meet? That is really up to you and him. The conversion can be better or worse. If nothing ask him. If you can’t ask about such trivial and simple things now, you are in for a stressful ride.

    He should absolutely pay every cent for the meeting/date. If he is not willing to risk the cost of dinner, run, run fast as you can! Instead you should be thinking alone the lines of… “Should he be paying for my time?”. My personal response to that is… unless this meeting is costing you, no. But if you have expenses or lost income because of a meeting, fine, but you better be able to justify the cost.

    Money should be one of the first subjects. You are both wasting time and energy if you are not at least playing in the same range. If you need $3K/month and he is only willing to go $500/month, BUZZZ! Game over.

    From you questions it really seems like you are very afraid of doing something wrong and being rejected. Yes we SDs are the rare part of this equation, but we are still talking men and women here. Relax and stop stressing. If you have to walk on egg shells the whole time with this guy, he is not the right SD for you.

    I know we put a great deal of import on these things, times are hard, but getting into a arrangement that sucks is not really better than no arrangement at all 😉

  11. SS1959 says:

    An off-topic question. I have been dating my first-ever SB for just a couple of months now. A few lunches, a few intimate sessions in a hotel, and a 3-day trip to NYC together. She is super sweet and smart, and I hope to continue this relationship.

    Her birthday is coming up in a couple of weeks, and I’m wondering if it’s appropriate to send flowers. I would have to send them to her workplace. She is a college student and just started an internship 2 days per week. If I were to send her flowers with a simple “Happy Birthday!” and signed with just an initial, how is she likely to take this? Will she think it’s creepy and stalker-ish, or will she think it’s sweet?

  12. Zack says:

    other thoughts:

    Enjoy the trip. In fact, pay attention to it if you want to learn. Perhaps take notes. Then, if you stay in budget, you’re well on your way to “no harm done.” You first.

    Don’t overextend yourself until you feel too vulnerable, but testing your limits should be an iterative process.

    No body’s perfect

    save the best for last

  13. flyr says:

    @BN – “-Help please”

    These are purely personal reactions

    Talk before meetings – YES If he does not have any time to talk this is headed towards P4P jail.

    Ask what worked well with the prior relationships let him drift into the problems
    a little Rogerian psych goes a long ways OK to ask what he wants to accomplish with relationship.

    Hope this helps

  14. BN says:

    Okay I am a new SB and have a number of POT SD but i need answers to these questions.

    Texting gets boring after a while should we have a real phone convo before meeting? i do understand some SD are married and this may be a difficult task……
    When I meet a POT SD for the first time wheather it be dinner, coffee, ect. should the POT SD pay for it or should I?

    Should I ask him why his other SB arrangements didn’t work out?

    When exactly should we talk about the money aspect of things?

    -Help please

  15. onyx_percula says:

    @flyr

    I was thinking more about those want-to-be SBs that come to SA et al “looking for the love…”. I was questioning if they really think they can have that type of relationship with someone twice+ their age.

    I have had total stealth arrangements, semi-discrete and completely out in the open, no shame baby too. It’s funny the restaurant I like for initial face to face meets has gotten to know me so well that if I show up without a 18-25 year old hotty they ask if I am feeling OK. The place is in a very affluent area, so its not like they don’t see older men with young women day in and day out, lol.

    My friends and family know I like to date younger women and pretty much STFU or give me high fives, lol.

  16. flyr says:

    @ ONYX ” I guess it really comes down to how well family and friends accept it and how well both of you deal with that.”

    Family comes under the need to know umbrella and they have no need to know.

    My neighbors who are pretty traditional have come to accept it. However, I realize that a younger woman bounding around the yard is a legitimate cause of concern for middle aged wives so I keep it very low key. . But it also means I treasure a fun but classy SB with brains.

  17. I have only be on this site for a short-time , but I am somewhat surprised that they’re are not that many “Sugar Mommy”‘s out there. Just doing some browsing saw that there not many who are still active. Me being an attractive male seeking a sugar mommy lament at such a find. Is there someway I can make my profile more appealing, or am I , as my mother use to say, SOL ?

  18. onyx_percula says:

    @flyr, yes I have to agree, the flood of 18-20 pot SBs was on my mind. I guess it really comes down to how well family and friends accept it and how well both of you deal with that.

    Do you know how to make an escort love you? You give her the donation, say “have a good day” and walk out.

  19. flyr says:

    I agree with Onyx with one exception. I think a 20 year age gap is workable for an SB after about 25 , There’s a vastly greater gap between 18/38 than 25/45 or probably 25/55.

    I’ve quoted Clinton Advisor Dick Morris’ reply when asked if he really paid a girl $300 to come over and have sex with him. Without missing a beat Morris assured him ‘”No I pay her $300 to go home when we are done”. Translated if either you or SB are counting the minutes from completion to separation then it’s probably not a real SB relationship.

    The Morris quote comes from a time very similar to today when the President was pondering an attack on a foreign power. Morris and Clinton were discussing the various options, Clinton with Monica hard at work under the desk and Morris with said escort sucking on his toes. Unfortunately for all concerned Monica spilled the beans.

  20. onyx_percula says:

    @flyr

    You are right without a doubt. There seems to be a glut of the desperate “Help I need $700 for rent today, who wants to help? I will do anything!” and “I am on SA to find my soul mate and have him pay me to date him, take me on vacations, buy me cars and diamonds…” and on and on. Are these SBs really thinking they are going to establish a long term committed relationship with a man that is twice their age? Or do they think they are going to find someone their age (+10) that can actual do the whole SD role?

    Escorts versus SBs:

    So let me preface this with, an SB that I just ended an arrangement with is/was an escort. We had a lot of frank talks about escorting versus the sugar scene. BTW let me highly advise any SD out there, you DO NOT want a SB that is/was an escort, if they have been doing for any length of time, they are pretty messed on the inside.

    Escorts think in terms of hours, how much for how many hours. Most don’t make what people think they do, often they use an agency to screen clients and handle logistics. For that they often kick back 50% or more to the agency. So that escort making $300/hr is really getting $150/hr or less.

    SBs think or should think in terms of overall benefit. “With this arrangement I can quit my PT job that sucks and maybe I can study enough to get good grades.”. “I get to see a nice guy that gives a shit about me, that treats me better than any guy I have ever dated, he gives me enough money that I am not constantly worried about having enough to meet ends.”. “Wow I can date this older guy a few times a month, get out of debt faster than I dreamed possible and he isn’t all up in everything I do, I still have my own life and he is cool with it!”.

    That SB I just ended with said something to me that really struck me… “When you escort its about customer service and reputation. You can’t afford to say ‘no’ because is he a fat, stinky bastard that hates women because if you do they will trash your reputation and then won’t get enough appointments to survive. The only thing you can do is smile, plug your nose and do it, then never accept an appointment from him again. The SBs have it so much better, they can be picky, they can tell a guy ‘no way in hell!’, they can even tell the guy they are dating ‘not today, I’m just not in the mood’ without worrying about the arrangement ending.”

  21. flyr says:

    @Onyx “many are here because its this or striping or escorting have a heart.”

    While that’s true for many I think it’s not the case with the real SB’s. With many of them it’s more of a lifestyle election.

    Decades ago, before the internet and such there were always avenues for college coeds to discover a long lost uncle whom then needed to visit weekly. The internet changed the world. The escort world has found SA to be an effective marketing vehicle for escort services vs SB s . But they are not SB’s. One of the clues is you’ll frequently see the word men rather than man used.

    One of the things I hear frequently from SBs is “I’m tired of guys who expect me to either pay for dinner or at least half and then expect me to sleep with them because we are dating.” I think most guys in their 20’s and early 30’s are spoiled and driven by their need for sensual satisfaction. Too many women get left by the wayside in the process.

    For nerds this is a great opportunity to develop some relationship skills but then need to pick wisely.

  22. flyr says:

    Relevancy of escort pricing – My guess is that If your focus is primarily on escort services you’re probably better off with someone who sees that as her job. Kind of like a Hertz car ……. While I’ll look for a safe parking spot for personal cars the Hertz car gets wedged into the first available spot. Ditto swapping paint with aggressive taxi drivers.

    With apologies for the repetition, I think the difference can best be expressed as the escort is looking at you only to see if there’s a good reason not to be intimate while a SB is more likely to be asking is there a good reason to pick this POT.

    My goal in the bowl has been more of a better than casual relationship with mutual benefits and that has continuity and some interesting adventures.

    Paying for conversation time never seemed like a good idea to me. With the mention of single mothers-I think it is reasonable to reimburse for the babysitter during initial meetings.

    It may reflect my background . If I’m looking for an architect to design a client’s building – what’s the mission statement. If you want a timeless building it’s best to start with someone who understands your vision and is capable of delivering. As long as they are discussing how they can profit from a relationship with me there’s no expectation of compensation. If I ask them to do a couple of quick design studies- I expect to pay for them but lots of others would take pride in getting someone to do free work. I think it’s a costly mistake, I am doing is trying to see if they are capable of doing the work, are they focused on my needs , can I work with them and are they happy with the mission and the compensation.

    Whether it’s an architect or an SB, selection and how the relationship starts is foundational.

    But don’t overthink the process if you are just starting. Identify 30 that might work, cull the list to 10 with emails, reduce to 3-4 with phone conversations and them meet for coffee or a glass of wine (or at an interesting place where you can talk) .

  23. FatBastardSD says:

    @Zack

    You have to remember the blog SB’s are much more desirable/talented than the average SA SB for whom $100 per hour is most likely more than they will ever make in thier regular job.

  24. FatBastardSD says:

    @ricklad

    Some good general advice being offered, but there is more than one way to skin a cat, and allowances obviously depend on the SB and it is impossible to generalize.

    This will sound rude but you have to remember I am a bastard after all.

    A late 20’s guy who has to pay an ‘average’ looking girl in her 20’s $500 per meet has other problems. This site may not be what you need at this time. If you just need to get laid an escort might be better for you. Unless you are very unattractive fix the reason you cannot get an ‘average’ girl your age to date you. Even if you are unnatractive there are things you can work on to improve your dating life.

    A young guy should only use the site to get a ‘hot’ young girl OR it might be possible to find a GF.

  25. SugarySpicey says:

    Zack – “For SB’s short of basic necessities, $100/hr is certainly generous for conversation, I think. When dating, offer costs, plus time.”

    What? $100 an hour is what you pay a hooker. SBs are not hookers. Don’t treat us like hookers. You aren’t paying for our time, per se, you’re being sweet and generous because it gives you an edge over the other men a beautiful woman could be dating. At $100 an hour you’re going to get what you pay for – and by that I mean, most likely, women who are in such desperate straights they’re only with you because they’d be homeless otherwise, or prostitutes. Not all SBs are in financial need – some of us just find the arrangement sexy.

    Know who you’re talking with first, some women would find an offer of $100 an hour to really help them out of a jam. I’d be disgusted that you thought I was a prostitute and tried to pay me like one – and with an amount that does NOT get me juicy goosey.

  26. FatBastardSD says:

    @simply_sb

    I can only speak for myself and I see nothing wrong with contacting SD’s directly. A short email asking the SD to take a look at your profile should work.

    Be pleasant without being a pushover. Easier said than done though.

  27. Jayne says:

    off topic, and maybe this has been done already, but maybe a reminder topic to sb on the importance of discretion esp if your sd/m sugar is from another source other than their own like a trust funder or a parent of a celebrity. what inspired the topic idea you ask?
    some idiot whose dating nba player James LeBron’s mom who is putting himself on blast (if you will) on instagram bragging “about that life”. even some of the comments are of a warning nature.
    this idiot is the walking antonym of discreet
    the point is this is a sb don’t in terms of dating tips regardless of gender and age

    if I could copy & paste the pic I would but instead i’ll post the link the article is from mediatakeout.com
    http://partners.mediatakeout.com/64800/big-pimpin-lebron-james-mama-is-dating-a-miami-rapper-and-dude-is-living-tha-life-while-bron-bron-is-paying-dude-bills.html

  28. Zack says:

    Come to think of it, I should probably shift all my Seeking transactions to a dedicated checking account with a single debit card funded by a single automatic monthly ach from a secure source.

    Eh, maybe when I get around to it. :-/

  29. Zack says:

    preliminary tips for MBA’s (lol)

    -market research on self-advertised pricing of local escorts is easy

    -choose your flavor: NSA, FWB, LTR, undecided/all; market accordingly

    –enough for the MBA’s, they deserve what they pay for.

  30. Zack says:

    some preliminary thoughts for nerds considering offering sugar:

    -Know and choose your actual Monthly budget. Try to stay within it -for your own- confidence. Keep an objective rational limit on oneself. Keep it real, 360 deg. Reset monthly…there IS a very real learning curve over at least several active months. That can even be fun, if you are In Budget.

    -For SB’s short of basic necessities, $100/hr is certainly generous for conversation, I think. When dating, offer costs, plus time. Careful about fronting expenses beyond what is needed to meet face to face…it’ll happen but that’s a rut leading to scamming. (set up a moneygram account, get to know what Walmart can do)

    -Cash in is hand easy, makes face to face meetings attractive to SB’s…and is way too easy to spend lavishly when new. Try not to carry your cash in $100’s it’s an expensive ego trip.

    -Don’t over promise; meet her needs, gift a little more, then make it about chemistry. New SD and SB are both out of their depths. Don’t come across as too intense or pushy (it’ll still happen, but try), and be aware of (her) more than you… she may not have a car. Maybe a single mother of an infant. May not be able to pay for fuel, food, tuition… whatever motivation a (newish) SB has, it is almost certainly a sensitive and hot topic. Help with it Incrementally and as a gentleman…you can both start to feel good, then :)

    -I’m too new to vouch for this, but it feels an explicit salary should be set after a pattern of dating, or after a “meeting of (informed) minds.” Until then, negotiate hourly or daily rates, just for time.

    -Pay for time, gift for fun.

    —Try to date at least two SBs. Most will not work out. You will be calmer, you will learn faster, and your SBs will have more time to develop their own personalities and character before they fall into mirroring or manipulating your desires (new sb) or decide “you’re not ready” (veterans).

  31. flyr says:

    @Ricklad “how do you guys calculate your allowance rates. I assume for alot of you it doesnt matter what the market says,you just go off individual chemistry,and dont really think about the economics of it.”

    Depends a lot on your area and what is important to you . Also important to look for a good match if you are looking for longevity .

    There are many very good looking women on the site but if your ego requires 10 plus arm candy, that narrows the market and may come with some other issues as well.

    Figure out what’s important to you and what you have to offer / need to have from your SB.

    I am big on not promising more than you can deliver in any aspect of the relationship but do “market ” yourself.

    I would break it down to four components

    The SB’s financial needs /objectives

    What other components the SB sees as costs or added value

    The SB’s ego

    The market

    From there you start searching. Going searching without considering what you want and what you have to offer is like walking into a supermarket without any thought of what you are shopping for. Use the advanced search options to try different searches.

    Some would consider your allowance budget “low” or ‘inadequate” but there are also a lot of women here who might feel it is less than their aspirations but there are other reasons to be with this you. Finally there are many who would be satisfied with the allowance.

    Have fun talking to and meeting people. If you have not done it before you’ll be in uncharted waters. If you are struggling keep notes and see if you detect patterns . Change your profile once in a while. The default profile search is by date of the profile (newest first) and an update counts as a new profile.

  32. simply_sb says:

    @FatBastardSD

    thanks for the advice..
    one more question tho..
    should I wait til being contacted or should i contact whoever i find interesting?

  33. onyx_percula says:

    @Ricklad101

    You have a good idea there, very similar to what I do as well. Another possible measure is look at the typical job that your 20’something is working, and set a monthly the same. It is very beneficial to be able to quit a job and say concentrate on school.

    As far as how often, well that is kind of up to you. How much can you handle? How often do you want to handle it?

    I have had a few arrangements in the valley of the sun which is a education hub, i.e. lots of co-eds in need. A typical one might look like… meet 1 or 2 times a week or instead a weekend. Long weekends from time to time. Weekend overnight trips several times a year.

  34. gtt_envy says:

    Because of frequency I’m set I won’t offer more than $1500/mo. I also am only looking for 1-2 dates a month too.

  35. Ricklad101 says:

    I am 30 and there other SD’s in their late 20’s early 30’s in fact there is another forum with a bunch of SD’s in that age range,most of them are computer programming nerds. Including myself..

    thanks for the info on p4p and other alternatives. The next issue is pricing. How do you guys set your allowance rates. I usually base it off the cost of living in the area Im searching. In Chicago a 1 bed room apartment goes for about 1000 in a nice neighborhood with bars and amenities. so I figure an arrangement with an average looking SB for 2 to 4 times a month,should run me 1000-1600. Obviously it can go higher if she is really good looking or have an amazing personality. If she wants to meet more than four times a month it can go higher as well,but usually the time vs money trade off starts to diminish after four times per month. how do you guys calculate your allowance rates. I assume for alot of you it doesnt matter what the market says,you just go off individual chemistry,and dont really think about the economics of it.

  36. sweetie says:

    FB, I don’t hate the game and I’m glad you couldn’t resist! 😉
    I just don’t see how a man under 30 can consider himself a SD. Wishful thinking in my book.

  37. FatBastardSD says:

    @simply_sb

    There is no magic formula to make an attractive profile for every SD. Nice pictures and a short description of what you expect are all that is needed.

    The profile will not get you an arrangement. Not being a bitch or rude in your initial emails is a lot more important than the profile. Not being a bitch or rude in person will help you when you meet a potential SD as well :-).

    @sweetie

    Don’t hate the player, hate the game :-). Sorry I could not resist. I have never been a player so I never get the chance to use that quote.

  38. sweetie says:

    Those boys don’t sound like SD material to me. Players, maybe.

  39. sweetie says:

    Gtt “@FB, the only fantasy world I see these days are SB’s asking for SD’s to be “Under 30, in great shape, must love to spoil, wants to take it slow” with a allowance range of $5-10k/month.”

    Well, this might have to do with the 18 to early 20s SB crowd. I guess they want boys who would like to think of themselves as men…

  40. Treasured says:

    The main observation re sugar:

    You have to give your Daddy NOT what he wants, BUT what he actually NEEDS. Preferably before he actually realizes it.

    Master it and you will be there!

  41. gtt_envy says:

    @FB, the only fantasy world I see these days are SB’s asking for SD’s to be “Under 30, in great shape, must love to spoil, wants to take it slow” with a allowance range of $5-10k/month.

    Or the latest influx of cam girls “Online relationship only! “

  42. FatBastardSD says:

    @Onyx

    SD’s and SB’s have a strange expectation that because they are usung a website that everything will be perfect. Most SD’s have had a woman screw them over IRL at some point so SA will be no different. The nature of the site will attract a lot of SB’s who want to scam you. Greater precaution is required but if you go overboard you are going to take what fun there is out of the arrangement.

    I think this advice applies to SB’s as well but they won’t follow it because they seem to live in a fantasy world where they are only dating awsome sexy men (who for some reason refuse to buy them dinner) and have never had any bad IRL relationship.

  43. onyx_percula says:

    @Ricklad101

    I think FB nailed it. You have to resolve yourself that you are going to have losses, the key is to minimize them and there frequency.

    If a SB is offended by a P4P initial arrangement, you likely don’t want her anyway. Part of the sugar thing is that you build more than just a hookup/FB relationship with your baby. If she can’t relate to and empathize with your caution she simply never will be more than a escort for you and you a ATM for her. Not that there is anything wrong with that between consenting adults, but the sugar scene is really not the place for it.

    Personally I play it by ear with each lady. I have two SB arrangements going right now. One was on a P4P arrangement for a month and a half before I converted her to a monthly allowance. The other we more or less dated without any exchange of money or favors for close to a month. I put her on an allowance right away.

    Good luck and welcome to SA and sugar! Remember the tables are now reversed for you, you are now the rare thing that is pursued. Be picky, be careful, be respectful and understanding. I don’t think any little girl ever fantasied about growing up and becoming a SB to a man twice her age or more when she was growing up… many are here because its this or striping or escorting have a heart.

  44. onyx_percula says:

    @Spicey

    Easy, easy. You are running with an idea that isn’t there. Likely my piss poor wording and desire to “keep it short”.

    You are 110% right that any SB or SD for that matter should not be just giving up such sensitive information. Let me give you an example that I experienced a couple of months ago that more clearly illustrates what I was referring to…

    I had been chatting, emailing and txt’ing with a pot SB. We had an initial “lets have coffee” meeting and both were satisfied and started the process of trying to find an agreement. She asked for my address “So I can send you something special, just for you”. She wouldn’t tell me what she was wanting to send me, which set off some little warning bells, as we live in the same city… Why not just meet me again and give it to me in person? So I asked her for her address so I could send her some flowers (what girl refuses flowers right?). She never out right refused to give it to me, but she always ducked the question, change the subject etc. After a couple of days of her reminding me she needed my address and me reminder her I needed her’s too, I pulled the trigger “You can’t have mine unless you give me yours too”. She disappeared instantly like pouring water on a witch. Did I mention we have had a history of home invasions in Phoenix over the last several years…

    I used to teach women’s self defense, trust me I am likely more aware of the trouble a women can get herself into dealing with people on the internet than most. I still think that a verification system like SA has is a huge step towards a safe(er) experience for all. But a SD or SB that does not keep safety and security in mind is just asking to get nailed sooner or later verified or not.

  45. SugarySpicey says:

    The way an allowance rolls out (weekly, P4P, in advance) is between an SD and SB – I have no particular feelings on the matter, and probably prefer gifting as we go in the beginning, so that I don’t feel obligated to return to a selfish/sloppy SD.

    But give an SD my address and place of employment before we’ve ever met? Are you f*cking kidding me? Yes, meet in a public place, but I’m still preserving my anonymity until I trust someone. If you chose not to do the same that’s on you. But an SB protecting herself from a would-be Internet predator is just common sense. Even if you’ve proven you are who you say you are, that doesn’t mean you won’t become a clinger if she ends things because you’re a terrible lay, or hygienically repulsive – things she won’t know until she *knows* you.

    Expecting a woman’s address before you’re really in a relationship makes you sound like a psycho. Why would you even ask for that? Red flag!!!

  46. flyr says:

    @RICLAD ‘even if its just for a month or two until I get comfortable. would maybe 1/3 of the allowance every time we saw each other be appropriate.”

    A happy compromise which seems to work is half month just prior to the first horizontal event. That takes away the P4P element and minimizes the risk. Over the years I have advanced funds prior to the first intimate event and I think the results are 1W – 5L .

  47. gtt_envy says:

    @rickland, I have never had a potential SB squawk over pay per meet. Typically we txt chit chat for two weeks, swap pics, see if we want the same thing etx, and then plan a date.

    I always pay for any incidentals, buy a gift, and give her a couple hundred for her time. Nothing is expected from her at all.

    If we decide on following through with a arrangement then its usually pay per meeting for me, but only because I only see her 1-2 times a month, so it works out the same anyway.

    Goodluck!

  48. Zack says:

    Is it just me, or is Obama Twerking?

  49. FatBastardSD says:

    @Ricklad101

    You have to get used to the idea of taking a loss if you want to be a SD as you WILL take a loss at some point. The idea is to minimize your risk. Pay per meet is the safest bet.

    Sorry but there is never a sure thing :-).

  50. FatBastardSD says:

    @Onyx

    Do not follow spicey’s advice. A SB who wants to know everything about you without reciprocating is very likely a scam artist as you pointed out.

    I have had quite a few requests from SB’s who want to know everything about me. I always make the same offer: We can meet at a cafe and exchange ID in person.

  51. SugarySpicey says:

    Onyx – “2) They want to know everything about you, but always seem to forget to answer your questions about details like their address, there place of work, their phone number, etc, etc. If they dont throw that information back at once the hairs on the back of your neck should be standing at attention.”

    I would never give an SD ANY of this information. Are you crazy? Tell a strange man from the Internet my address and place of work? I’m about as real as they get, but a request for any of the things you listed would set my skin crawling. Also, many women are on this site BECAUSE of some hardship. I think you’ve over calibrated your Spidey sense at the expense of 98% of the women on this site (who are also constantly falling prey to the “test drive” scam artists).

  52. Ricklad101 says:

    HI new SD here. I have a question about how the allowance should work in the beginning. I have heard stories of guys given their SB’s an allowance in advance either at the first physical encounter or before the encounter at all and the girl never seeing him again . Im afraid of taking 1 to 3k loss. Im really not willing to give more than say 600 at a time atleast for first 1 to 2 months,but at the same time I know most quality SB’s get offended at the pay per meet suggestion even if its just for a month or two until I get comfortable. would maybe 1/3 of the allowance every time we saw each other be appropriate.

  53. onyx_percula says:

    Off topic.

    So I am active on several of the sugar sites. In the last two weeks I have had some pretty slick scams ran on me. Some pretty bad ones too.

    So a couple of tips for the guys (girls you may find this helpful too) out there at the risk of educating the scam artists…

    1) Use Google and TinEye to search her profile pic and any others you might get of her. The scam artists like to pull pics of attractive girls they find on the net making them reasonably easy to find thanks to Google and TinEye.

    2) They all have a well constructed story, well some better than others. It will always have some tragedy or misfortune involved.

    3) Sooner or later a request for money will be made. “Help I am a poor little damsel in distress, HELP ME!”. And they generally want untraceable funds like Western Union transfers, BitCoin, etc.

    A couple of tips to help you spot the fraudster…

    1) Require a picture of something they cant just download another picture of. Like a drivers license, them chatting with you on their computer screen or them against the current front page of XYZ news site. Or any random website you name. The point is that unless they used their real pictures they can’t give you any of these.

    2) They want to know everything about you, but always seem to forget to answer your questions about details like their address, there place of work, their phone number, etc, etc. If they dont throw that information back at once the hairs on the back of your neck should be standing at attention.

    3) The good ones will try to exploit a man’s nature to protect and provide for his woman. They will appeal to some kinky interest or evoke a protective instinct or a provider instinct. “My father died, he was my world, now I am all alone”. “My boss just fired me because I wouldn’t suck his dick”. These are the primer for “I need money or THE WORLD WILL END!!!”.

    4) Do I even need to say this one… If its too good to be true, you are right, its not true.

    Some sites are pretty good about responding to scam artist alerts, others not so much. On another site the profile I reported over a week ago is still active and online right this second.

    I was lazy and damn near got nailed by the last one. So fellow sugar daddies out there, start checking her out the second you think you want to contact her, or she contacts you.

    Tip: Setup a dedicated prepaid cell phone and yahoo email account just to interact with pot SBs. You can block or ignore users on Yahoo and you can also report them as spammers and scam artists.

    Don’t give them your cell number until you are pretty sure they are for real. It doesn’t cost anything to block someone on Yahoo, but getting a new prepay phone or changing the number can cost you.

    Honestly I think this topic deserves its own blog posting that everyone can easily reply to, adding new information, tips and tricks to protect yourself.

    Get verified people! It cuts through most of the crap a scam artist will try.

  54. SugarySpicey says:

    Thanks Sweetie!

    GTT – there’s nothing about intellectual stimulation that implies serious or heavy. But, if all a woman can talk about is the latest Kardashian calamity I’m willing to bet the sex is pretty Ho hum as well. Sex is a cerebral sport and smart women do it better.

  55. simply_sb says:

    Helloo fellow daddies and babies.. I’m new here to SA just wanted to say hi and let you know I’m new to being a sb .. I signed up for this site in 2011 but didn’t put it to use being a little afraid but last night someone brought up the site and thought to give it a try .. I hope to have great experiences here and meet new people.. any advice in making my profile attractive to the daddies out there and what to look out for?

  56. sweetie says:

    Sugary, keeping my fingers crossed for you! You go girl 😉 Watch out for that little heart, though.

  57. Zack says:

    I’ve been trying to front travel costs, +, in lieu of actually moving my ass, but that hasn’t worked well, on average. Fate and cash in hand seem to conspire in favor of “Gang aft agle”

    So, I’m learning to wire everything through gmail and gonna run the SUV through the shop. Road trip :)

    By the grace of the powers that be:

    http://www.songlyrics.com/jethro-tull/one-brown-mouse-lyrics/

  58. gtt_envy says:

    @Zack, every SB I’ve ever had I’ve had to travel to or meet in another city. If you want it you will travel!

  59. flyr says:

    @sugary ” a man who can’t see beyond a girl’s vagina” there’s a time and place for everything. But yes I really agree with your comment.

    My sense is that there are a number of SB’s here with real brains and interests far beyond their “work” . More true today as we have so many people working below their capabilities. If someone thinks the MVA was worth watching then we’re probably not a match.

    SA Meetups – (at the risk of having this comment expunged) I know there were meetups in London and LA and possibly NY.

    Neither LA nor London went well for a variety of reasons; but mostly because they were used to promote SA not facilitate members getting together-although they were pricey events. If SA wants to pursue this avenue they should find a couple of intelligent, classy SB’s on here who do party planning and let them handle the entire event.

    Other sites have member initiated meetups that are invitation only, very discrete, no press whatsoever. Usually held in a private room at a comfortable bar or restaurant.

    In an era of extraordinarily sophisticated facial recognition and a very intrusive government it’s probably not a good idea to be around a publicized event of this type. It’s the fusion of data that’s the problem.

    Were I an SB with a professional career ahead I do not think I would post a face shot here and certainly not a photo that had ever been on the internet.

    Other members have posted their profile ID here when asking for comments. I assume there is no prohibition against posting non abusive / non competitive links here.

  60. Zack says:

    Off topic,

    I think someone mentioned some sort of Seeking face to face in London once upon a time. Does SA do anything like that, or was it coincidental?

    Any thoughts on natural locales for such? London, NY, Tel Aviv? lol Others?

    The area I live in is, umm, quiet. Maybe time to travel.

    Is it permissible to place links or images in this blog?

  61. gtt_envy says:

    @sugaryspicey……..IDK about that!! If I only hang out with you 10-12hrs a month I doubt want to be talking work!! I have coworkers to debate with, argue, get frustrated etc I want a fun date without the games of conventional relationships.

    There definitely has to be good conversation, but I much prefer fun light hearted topics like Miley at the VMA’s, music, movies, hobbies not work lol and more vagina the better!!

  62. SugarySpicey says:

    Flyr – your mention of philosophy and celestial mechanics is tricky. So many SDs assume that the women on this site are whores – they’re shocked when a woman can talk about more than fashion and gossip, and at some level they find it threatening. I make it very clear that I’m educated and informed in my profile (before I deleted it) but some men don’t know how to really talk to a woman.

    A man who can appreciate a woman’s intellect, and who pursues women of character, ends up in far more fulfilling relationships than a man who can’t see beyond a girl’s vagina.

  63. flyr says:

    Former mz flyer was 18 years younger so it does not feel strange .

    What I noticed with my grad students at social functions was that although they were at the top of their generation they were usually 5-15 years behind their girlfriends and wives . If the SB wants to have someone who is wired into the latest music awards then 15 years is a hopeless gulf unless the SD is in the industry but if the SB wants to discuss celestial mechanics, philosophy or history then the gap is very bridgeable

  64. gtt_envy says:

    Off topic: What is the average age difference in your SB/SD relationship? I’m just wondering seems like a influx of 18-20 years olds as of late. It feels weird a 20 year age difference……….what about you guys/gals?

  65. SugarySpicey says:

    Speaking of summer sugar – heading to Asia to meet my summer fling, excited and nervous, wondering if all the passion from the Sumer will still be there.

  66. flyr says:

    In response to a private comment about the above, my sense is that SB relationships initiated to take advantage of weakness on either side seldom last

  67. flyr says:

    ILWCG Considering the , retail “multi customer” approach of a number of SB profiles its hard to believe they were really scanning pictures unless there is some other use being made of the scanning results.

  68. flyr says:

    There are those attracted to weakness like the coyote to a crippled doe in the hopes of using the situation to their advantage.

    This is sort of the reverse of the sb reaching over under the table, making magic and then telling the pot that the woman in her wants him now but the accountant in her tells her she needs to get finances in order first and you hope the two of you can make it work. That should elicit a response as you have reduced the open issues to his generosity / commitment.

    If the SB has a range indicated I think a question to the pot SD if he is agreeable to something in that range before a meeting is appropriate. Another question to the potential SB would be something like what were your other financial arrangements.

    My advice to an SB is to avoid at all costs the test drive (without a substantial down payment & commitment) . The singular exception might be if the SD arranged something truly outstanding.

    Like most any arrangement if it starts badly it is tougher to put back on track.

    When I first started with SA I was traveling a lot and the last thing I really wanted was another dinner in a nice restaurant served by a wannabe actor. Yet I felt dinner out was expected. Thankfully the SB sensed this suggested that she just bring some healthy food over to the place, we could enjoy more sex, a healthier dinner , better wine and perhaps an increase in the allowance. The moral of the story being win-win usually works.

  69. Zack says:

    lol, and they say desperation is never attractive.

  70. FatBastardSD says:

    @Zack

    Desparation can make a SB do things she would never imagine. I would love to be one of the things she does.

  71. FatBastardSD says:

    @Janine and Sweetie

    The answer is simple: The SB and SD should both “put out” at the same time.

    Anything else will make one side feel used.

    Glad I could be of help:-).

  72. Frank says:

    Well as somebody once said, the sugar should start when the panties hit the floor. I would start off my saying your rent is due, can he help you with it. If he doesn’t follow through at that point, you will know he is scamming you.

  73. sweetie says:

    This is from the previous thread posted by Janine, a new SB. Let’s help her out, dear bloggers.

    “Need advice (someone should really start a forum.) Anyway, I’m a new SB and this weekend I will be going on my third date with my POT SD who I really like. On our first date, we briefly discussed expectations. We talked about our relationship expectations and we were on the same page. But in terms of finances, I’m a little unclear as to how to bring it up. He has said that he finds it tacky when girls talk about money right away. He’s also said that he doesn’t really like the whole set “allowance” thing, but he would be willing to pay for my rent and tuition. I’m totally on board with this, as I don’t need much else, but I would like to find out when this starts, what to expect, etc. How do I bring this up delicately without offending him/making him think that’s all I care about? And when should I reasonably expect this aid to start?”

    Just my personal take on money talk: it always gets uncomfortable for both parties, although I don’t think it should. I don’t see why your potential SD finds the subject tacky when approached by the SB; it is a very important part of the arrangement. Does he feel the same way discussing his sexual needs and expectations? If not, then what’s the beef?

    What exactly did your profile state? Allowance or not? People on this website get stuck on semantics too often… everyone, please remember why you’re on this site and not on another one. Both parties should be happy with their arrangement and willing to talk about all aspects of it.

    I can’t comment on the part of when you should expect the allowance, sorry. My only thought is he shouldn’t make you feel uncomfortable about it nor avoid the subject matter. By now, it should be out of the way.

    Everybody else, please pitch in.

  74. Zack says:

    @ FB: perhaps consider Moldavian SB’s? My impression is that they would tend towards the sort of desperation you seem to seek. It might even be mutually beneficial; they are acultured to vampires.

    wcg: most Americans have some awareness Stalin was a strong “Russian” leader and maybe not very nice. …maybe better that way.

    Re topic: I haven’t been in this cycle long, but it seems Fall brings a fresh crop of young ladies wanting to get paid to date. I may lay low for a few months until drama levels drop…

    Nah :)

  75. FatBastardSD says:

    @ILWCG

    I thought that was how you spelled it. I don’t know much about the third world :-).

    I actually like to contact SB’s who have had thier accounts suspended. Either they are professionals or insane. Either way the experience is sure to be memorable!

  76. flyr says:

    ILWCG – I think they are just messing with your brain in envy

    f

  77. ILoveWestCoastGirl says:

    “or from the Ukranian ”

    no comments

  78. Zack says:

    Well, war does tend to shift demographics.

    Would be best if Bashar just dropped dead, imho.

    I don’t know any, but if I could afford the travel, I think I’d enjoy meeting soviet or UK sb’s, just for the perspective….I’m pretty sure there’s more in the world than in mine.

    Anyway, yeah, I’m not too happy with CS, either…wanna see their “Cannot replicate the problem” reply to me a couple of days back?

    Thanks, Guru, but that was not good. And leaving me hanging like that worse. Don’t call me, I’ll call you, lol…

    Oh, and is there anyway to know if a message was “unsent” before I read it? (Sorry, Clarisse)

  79. FatBastardSD says:

    @ILoveWestCoastGirl

    The fact that you are Russian (or from the Ukranian) makes you a “pro” by default :-).

  80. ILoveWestCoastGirl says:

    except (not unless)

  81. ILoveWestCoastGirl says:

    I posted at previous blog but apparently the blog was down until I complained to GURU.

    anyway..

    my SA profile was suspended , I wrote to support and got an automatic (I believe !!!) answer “your photos were at pro/escort web site … ”
    Ha-ha would be true unless GURU and some others saw my profile with one photo of a girl sitting at river , far FAR away , complete dressed .
    which pro web site would use this photo ?!?!
    Funny.

    I think SA does it on purpose , so a SB needs to register a new account , looks like new SBs at the site , like something is going on …. Видимость бурной деятельности …:)

  82. Angela says:

    All personalities and perspectives are welcome in the blog, while personal attacks and name calling are not. It’s inevitable that there will be disagreements but let’s handle it as mature adults with class to keep the dialog constructive and respectful. Please refer to the “Blog Etiquette” for more details. For the newbies, please take a look at the “Sugar Daddy Dating Tips” section on the right for a list of commonly discussed topics and the “SD and SB Blog List” section to see the perspective of other sugars. Now comment away and let’s enjoy the blog…

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