4 years ago
NSA: What does it really mean?

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Hello, Sugar World.  By now, most of you are probably well versed in sugar-speak, but you’d be surprised how many times a week a member will write in to customer service inquiring about NSA. No Strings Attached sounds like a simple concept, but what does it really mean? Some members seem to think that NSA is not dissimilar to another sugar term P4P (pay for play), which by the way is not really allowed on this site. But does NSA really mean you are a cold hearted person who is only interested in sex or money?

Let’s discuss..

Truth or Fiction: NSA = NO EMOTIONS

Fiction. NSA is simply an agreed upon condition that you will both check your emotions at the door, and not let them get involved with your arrangement. Think of it as a “friends with benefits” type of relationship, if there was no money involved would it still be looked upon as unsavory? This is an ideal arrangement for people who are looking for something outside of a traditional relationship, or in addition to. But that doesn’t mean that two people can not care about one another. It simply sets both parties up for an honest relationship that could be built off a friendship, with out the pressure of a commitment.

Truth or Fiction: NSA = P4P

Fiction. Is a one night stand the same thing as having a friend with benefits? Then NSA is nothing like P4P, which we feel strongly about mentioning once again, is illegal. There is no transaction occurring in an NSA relationship, just two people who have agreed to have a non-traditional relationship. You can’t even compare the two if you take out the sugar aspect. One would be considered prostitution, and the other would just be two people hanging out, sleeping together and not making a commitment to each other.

Truth or Fiction: People Who Want an NSA Relationship Are Shallow

Fiction. I’m sure some people who choose this type of relationship can be shallow, but to put everyone in the same category under NSA would be unfair. Everyone seeks sugar for a different reason, and the beauty of NSA is that there isn’t pressure added to the relationship. People who are attracted to the NSA type of relationship could be just beginning in the sugar world and want to test things out. Or because of their relationship habits, they feel like this is a better option for them than choosing a different route.

 

What do you think about NSA? 

Is there a clear definition you would give NSA relationships? 

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472 Responses to “NSA: What does it really mean?”

  1. Anonymous says:

    NSA stands for ‘No Strings Attached’ fun,

  2. Anonymous says:

    NSA it means no sex allowed

  3. Anonymous says:

    Call it what you want; money for sex is illegal regardless of how you want to phrase it. I’m not saying any thing about the morality of it all; just be super careful!

  4. Anon Guy says:

    There are more girls and guys who believe and will act out that NSA does NOT involve anything but sex and money. It’s just a fact!

  5. elle says:

    if there is sex involved and you are dealing with a young red blooded woman, there most likely will be emotions.You have got to be kidding. I also had 50 year old men pine for me for months and months without sex too.Chocolate is addicting…

  6. JaneStarling1999 says:

    P4P is not Prostitution… Are you telling me that If he “Pays4” my Dinner so that he can “Play” with me later then I am a prostitute??? Heck no!!! Im not free, my time is not free, and my Presence is not free.

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    Looking for a relationship

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  14. Freddie says:

    First off, one can never totally leave their emotions at the door (unless you’re a psychopath). NSA is more “if one of us needs out, the other promises to not be hurt”… which, then again, depends on how it’s ended.

    Second off, P4P is not prostitution (any more than an SB/SD relationship is or isn’t). It’s the best way to start a sugar relationship, so, if one or the other decides not to proceed (break it off early), there’s no sticky issue of meeting for a refund of the balance of the allowance. It’s just an allowance cautiously supplied, until trust is built.

    • Deutsch says:

      @ Freddie,
      sure, only a guy would say p4play is not prostitution, it is just like paying an escort — I had several SD relationships, ALL started with monthly allowances once we decided to enter into an arrangement (after the 2nd date, before having sex), and so what if it ends for one reason or another. Refund? how cheap is that??
      LOL
      it sounds like you are paying for the # of visits so you want a refund,that is precisely escorting seeking behavior

      • Anonymous says:

        @Deutsch,
        In this imperfect world a dishonest girl could simply take the allowance and just disappear. So if she asks for all the money in advance, that’s a definite red flag.

      • maineman2.0 says:

        Unfortunately, that’s happened more than once.
        Try to give the benefit of the doubt, however it’s easy to become jaded……

      • Rick says:

        If a monthly allowance is requested I always suggest the following. Provide the allowance in the middle of the month. That way the SB has to take a risk the first 1/2 of the month and the SD takes it the second 1/2. That way if one member proves untrustworthy, the loss to the other is minimized.

      • Mark C says:

        @Deutsch um okay… you want to be insulting. sure, only a girl would try to say “refund? how cheap is that”. Lol! Who are you kidding? Why would somebody pay you a 5k allowance in advance only to find out you’re like a cold wet fish in bed? It sounds like you’re insecure about your abilities to uphold your part of the mutual benefit and want your money regardless of whether the SD is happy. Nope.

      • anom says:

        Rick: at our altitude, girls need food. Or rent for their girlfriend, Upfront is still a red flag, so the Sugar should probably lead that dance a bit…

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  27. Isla80 says:

    And I TOTALLY disagree with this article. NSA is nothing like FWB’s. Friends hang out and converse about more than just the next hook-up spot. It’s been my experience that men wanting No Strings Attached sex don’t want to hang out,talk on the phone, or introduce you to their friends. They want you to be their dirty little secret. They expect sex only and expect the sex they give you to be enough. They don’t understand that most women need MORE.

    • Virgin Bubble says:

      Hey Isla80, I understand what you mean…… however I feel NSA is self-explanatory. It ‘s like a truce with no hard feelings no unrealistic expectations or hidden agendas (which women have way too often on here). It’s black and white and the rules are set ahead of time, not all NSA is about hook-ups and sex. NSA can be dates, outings, or TGFE, it’s basically like a unwritten contract or agreement among 2 adults.

    • Dr. Austin says:

      I mostly agree with you, but you sound like NSA is a BAD thing. I hate the term Sugar baby, my current girl is a friend. I friend that I meet a couple of times a month to hang out, have drinks, and kinky hot sex. Occasionally we go to dinner just to talk. We have been together 18 months and it just works really good. There are many guys on this site that are in MY shoes, no time or desire for a girl friend. I have found numerous girls easily that are into NSA just as I like it. If I were single I would have no use for this site, I would have plenty of ladies auditioning to be the next Mrs. Austin

    • Anon says:

      Oops. I forgot about “FWB.” What does that mean?

  28. Isla80 says:

    To ME, NSA is like a booty call. Y’all have sex whenever you’re both feeling it, leave when it’s over, only to communicate again when you’re ready for another round. I wouldn’t classify SD/SB relationship as NSA because the SB is going to want more than just sex. The SD will most likely want more too.

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  103. meetsexgoddess says:

    squirting is NOT peeing….. scientists didn’t even know women could “squirt” until recently, which does not give me much confidence in modern science(it is close to the urethra, but does NOT COME FROM THE SAME SPOT. And yes, the word sounds gross. cum, doesn’t sound as bad. It is not pee, it is similar to what I think ejaculation would be for a man. It’s watery and has no urine smell, unlike urine, that does in fact smell like urine, lol.

  104. meetsexgoddess says:

    always always always…. if you find a daddy you are compatible with and you both like eachother enough to move forward. Always establish an allowance beforehand. and always have him give you allowance up front, no ifs ands or butts. if you don’t(most guys) will take advantage, use you, and then you feel like sh** and there is nothing you can do about it, but live with a bad memory and chalk it up as a learning experience. Always get allowance “first”. If this is a problem they may be a scammer!

  105. Hi everyone I’m very new to all this and I’ve started chatting to a few people, I’ve been really honest and stated that I just want a friend- someone who I can share everything with and vice versa. I think the NSA term would be difficult for me as when I do make a friendship I’d do anything for a good friend. So is this counted as sa or NSA? I’ve not committed to a SD yet I think I’m still waiting to find someone I can connect with so if there’s someone interested in the same as me feel free to get in touch :) xxx

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  108. SugarySpicey says:

    Re: 50 Shades of Mommy Porn. Yes, it was poorly written, had unbelievable characters, a gross Tampon scene, and it’s fun to bandwagon and make fun of anything with mainstream success. But, as a piece or erotica it was a ground breaking exploration into a side of feminine sexuality that people weren’t exploring before.

    A number of women who’d never known they wanted to be sexually punished found themselves turned on by ideas of things they’d never thought of before. It was a huge cultural shift in the way we think about our sexuality. I find it insulting the way people kink shame it as a “domestic abuse” relationship. Both partners were participating in mutually enjoyable sex acts. The book was more explicit than your average romance, and covered a topic that was new for mainstream romance – The Story of O was the last mainstream BDSM breakout…you want to walk poorly written! 50 Shades also included conversations about safe sex, which is sadly missing in modern erotica.

    Guru – “I understand your skepticism. The female orgasm and g-spot were once thought of as a myth as well. Squirting has to be seen and experienced in person to be believed.”

    I believe that it exists, I know that it exists – my academic background is in human sexuality. It’s just silly that people think of it as some sexy, to-be-sought-after, erotic act. If you really want me to pee on you, just ask … then break out your wallet, ’cause that golden shower is pricey!

  109. lil_tm says:

    ^I am sure a funny/intelligent/witty guy with dimples would much more appealing to the masses of realistic women out there. 😉

  110. Dashel says:

    Ha I see that book will be setting quite a lofty bar for the girls who read it. Young billionaire philanthropist with no real job a perfect body and amazing at sex? It was easier when they were looking for vampires and werewolves with abs.

  111. lil_tm says:

    @sweetie-That review is pretty legit. I’m guessing the many throngs of women impressed with it haven’t experienced really good sex.

    @Kathy-It would have made my day as well if you would have said it happened! :0)

  112. Kathy says:

    Ha! Thank you, sweetie, for putting my curiosity to rest. =)

    No, lil_tm, I didn’t find anyone humping the wait staff, but it would have totally made my day if I did! =))

  113. sweetie says:

    lil_tm “I feel like I should read Fifty Shades of Grey now to get into your head.”

    Yeah, that book… I keep hearing about it. I heard it’s so poorly written and so over the top, that is actually insulting to anybody with a brain… Anyway, if anyone is curious to read it, this should put your mind at rest.

    [img]http://www.amazon.com/review/R2JF7E91JJVHAT/ref=cm_cr_pr_viewpnt#R2JF7E91JJVHAT[img]

  114. lil_tm says:

    “Pics on internet have a long shelf life. I would be leery of putting anything out there.”

    Can’t say that I blame you. I sometimes find things I wish I wouldn’t.

  115. Noob_SD says:

    Pics or it didn’t happen

    He is camera shy. Always hangs (out) with his 2 cousins. The three are quite inseparable actually.

    Pics on internet have a long shelf life. I would be leery of putting anything out there.

  116. lil_tm says:

    “Okay… I just have to share this… I was at an event at the Governor’s Mansion with our Women’s Auxiliary. (The youngest member of the Auxiliary is 60.) And I was passing by a table and overheard three of these very elderly women talking about Fifty Shades of Grey… I had to turn and walk away very quickly before I busted out laughing. =))”

    Aww poor little old ladies were probably trying to relive their youth. I bet quite a few hips were gyrating once pages got turned and the blood got good and warm. 😉
    Talk about a cougar. RAWR! You didn’t catch any of them in the restroom with the waitstaff, did ya??

    “Noob_SD_Jr”

    Unfortunately this is the internet and we can’t take your word for it.
    Pics or it didn’t happen.

  117. Noob_SD says:

    @Noob
    Come on, now. Show us what is lurking beneath that Sumo Wrestler thong?!

    Noob_SD_Jr

  118. Kathy says:

    @lil_tm — “haha..actually, I read half that book and threw it to the side because it started to bore me. It’s housewife porn for sure. I bet they read it while leaning against the washer during the spin cycle. ”

    Okay… I just have to share this… I was at an event at the Governor’s Mansion with our Women’s Auxiliary. (The youngest member of the Auxiliary is 60.) And I was passing by a table and overheard three of these very elderly women talking about Fifty Shades of Grey… I had to turn and walk away very quickly before I busted out laughing. =))

  119. lil_tm says:

    “It’s fine in moderation but I can certainly see how it would be a problem if you over do it.”

    Yeah, over indulgence is a problem in everything. I mean, chocolate covered hazelnuts and ice cream just tastes that much better when I haven’t had it in a while. 😉

    “lil_tm I feel like I should read Fifty Shades of Grey now to get into your head.”

    haha..actually, I read half that book and threw it to the side because it started to bore me. It’s housewife porn for sure. I bet they read it while leaning against the washer during the spin cycle. : p

    @Noob
    Come on, now. Show us what is lurking beneath that Sumo Wrestler thong?!

  120. Noob_SD says:

    @ Sweetie Nah, just not what I look forward to seeing, even though I know you’re special, my dear… Why hide behind that body when you can have a more appealing one?

    Ok Sweetie, IRL … yes, no problem with sharing who I am, with those I am comfortable with … but I keep my presence on the blog for rants, sharing knowledge, fun.

  121. Dashel says:

    I think there’s a big difference now that everyone has high speed internet and access to youporn and redtube. Not too long ago it was playboy magazine and the sears bra ads. It’s fine in moderation but I can certainly see how it would be a problem if you over do it.

    lil_tm I feel like I should read Fifty Shades of Grey now to get into your head.
    But yes I agree with what you said about tapping into emotions.

    Fist of an angry God huh? :)

  122. lil_tm says:

    “Young people who have very little experience with sex themselves are exposed to those graphic messages before they have the opportunity to experiment themselves”

    Which is understandable. Before the first time I ever kissed a boy, I wanted to know what to do. I guess that’s why they show girls kissing their pillows(probably humping them too) in movies. :0)

    But yea, if a pubescent boy watches some of that stuff on the internet, he probably reenacts it thinking he’s doing what he’s supposed to.
    I believe we have too much access and an overabundance to most stuff anyhow.
    Unfortunately, it seems to be the American way. :/

  123. lil_tm says:

    @Dashel
    I’ve read that before. I’d say it’s relevant to sex, but it’s also true generally speaking. Shiny, new things are exciting.

    I don’t mind porn and I’m sure most other females would agree, but throw some erotica in there and you have yourself a ready and willing woman.

    The difference is what appeals to men(visual) and what appeals to women(mental/emotional).
    A man can be happy pounding it like the fist of an angry God. A woman may have fun doing that as well, but we get off way better if a guy can tap into our head and emotions.
    So, while the man is sitting in his study stroking it to redtoob, the woman is laying on her mattress reading Fifty Shades of Grey.

  124. Kathy says:

    @Dashel — I really enjoyed the TEDx talk posted on the main page. It didn’t really tell me anything that I hadn’t already suspected, but it was interesting to hear the science behind it. Thanks!

  125. Dashel says:

    [img]http://yourbrainonporn.com/[/img]

    I kicked the habit after reading through that, for the most part anyway. TL;DR version is that the availability of porn and frequent use can cause a lot of issues including distorted view of reality with women, addiction, decreased motivation and energy levels, even erectile dysfunction.

    I never was too into it but what I did watch was pretty straight forward.

  126. Kathy says:

    I’ll second that, lil_tm… Porn has become so prevalent and such a part of mainstream culture… and the industry continues to push the envelope to make it more graphic and more hardcore… that it give a very distorted picture of what sex should be. Young people who have very little experience with sex themselves are exposed to those graphic messages before they have the opportunity to experiment themselves… and they think that’s the way it’s supposed to be. No wonder there are high school boys going to prison for gang raping girls at parties… And they don’t even understand what they did wrong. They have internalized those false narratives before they are even able to determine the difference between right and wrong for themselves.

  127. lil_tm says:

    That’s why young men have terrible ideas in their head about how women like sex.
    PrOn. The hammering, the squirting, the double fisting, etc etc.

    F that! It isn’t sexy and it isn’t enjoyable.

  128. lil_tm says:

    I“t seems that none of the SB’s here are squirters based on the reaction from the blog. Squirters are elusive but I’ve encountered a few. Some women don’t even know they can squirt until they were properly stimulated.”

    I hate to admit it, but it did happen once. I understand it’s supposed to orgasmic, but it was more like grosstastic.

    UGH.

  129. Dashel says:

    Yeah that was cool Guru, thanks for re-posting.

  130. Kathy says:

    Wow… I read the winning entry for the travel contest. She sounds amazing. I’m so glad she won. I hope she was able to reestablish the connection to her heritage she was longing for.

  131. Kathy says:

    @SD Guru – fine… I’ll own up to it… one man has made me squirt. It was quite a surprise to me. I didn’t know I was capable… (blushing)

  132. SugarySpicey says:

    Sweetie – you go into “view similar profiles” then click on any profile, then delete the profile # from the URL and type in hers.

  133. sweetie says:

    Sugary, how were you able to see her profile? My search by profile number didn’t turn out anything.

    • SD Guru says:

      @CaptainSD
      “Whose side are you on?”

      How many sides are there? 😛

      @SugarySpicey
      “Not to burst your porn bubble gents… but when scientists have analyzed the makeup of the squirt – it’s piss.”

      I understand your skepticism. The female orgasm and g-spot were once thought of as a myth as well. Squirting has to be seen and experienced in person to be believed.

      @ILWCG
      “you had a few SBs yourself, what is your statistics?”

      It seems that none of the SB’s here are squirters based on the reaction from the blog. Squirters are elusive but I’ve encountered a few. Some women don’t even know they can squirt until they were properly stimulated.

      @Sweetie
      “regarding the travel contest, Does study abroad fit the bill?”

      Yes it would. But I was thinking this time around if there is another contest it could be more about fulfilling a SB’s goal/dream which may not be limited to travel.

      @Kathy
      “The contest seems like an interesting idea. Did you end up picking a winner? Where did she go?”

      Yes I did pick a winner. You can read more about the winner here and read the winning entry here.

  134. SugarySpicey says:

    LD – Imagine this all said in a kind, motherly tone – your profile isn’t very informative. It’s basically every small town girl in America. The photo with the eyes blurred out in a dark room makes you like like you’re being SB’d against your will – must go. Think nice body shots without too much skin, dresses, hair done – taken from behind if you don’t want to show your face.

    Make your profile say: How are you special? Fun? Relaxing? Unique? Why would a man enjoy your company so much he would want to support your needs?

    I wrote a blog about my profile – if it helps. sugarmytips.wordpress.com/2013/05/30/after-three-weeks-in-the-online-sugar-bowl/

    Good luck!

  135. sweetie says:

    Nah, just not what I look forward to seeing, even though I know you’re special, my dear… Why hide behind that body when you can have a more appealing one?

  136. Noob_SD says:

    Is that better? I won’t change again ….

  137. Noob_SD says:

    Sweetie … C’mon … don’t tell me a fat man frightens you :) I’ll replace it if it bothers you …

  138. sweetie says:

    Noob, where do you find these gravatars, seriously? It’s a bit disturbing :(

  139. sweetie says:

    Noob “Where are you sugar? Come give Daddy a hug. We can stay in … relax and watch a movie :)”

    Here, my dear! Make some room for me, please. Must say I prefer the Viking look… 😉

  140. Noob_SD says:

    @ LD would love it if someone could check out my profile and give me tips/feedback since there is always room for improvement.

    Hopefully one of the more experienced SB/SDs comes along and can give you some advice.

  141. Noob_SD says:

    @ Sweetie

    Where are you sugar? Come give Daddy a hug. We can stay in … relax and watch a movie :)

  142. I’d like to go back on topic – NSA, P4P, FWB, 1NtStands, and other short term casual relationships.

    There has been quite of bit of recent research into the human brain made possible by advanced scanning technology.

    It turns out that sex and money light up the same centers of the brain in both men and women. From a chemical rush point of view, it doesn’t matter if the stimulus was sex or money, the same endorphins flow.

    Which says a lot about how we perceive relationships, and how we as humans get those endorphins to flow.

    Since either sex or money can light up the same parts of the brain, a mix of sex and money does the same. To put it crassly, I have a price (and I am male) where I will do the homeliest of women also afflicted with bad breath and body odor. But if she pays me enough the endorphins will flow. (Only billionaire heiresses need apply.)

    I see nothing wrong with acknowledging that sex and money are linked. We can safely predict the following. A woman chooses between two guys. One resembles Brad Pitt and offers $X. The other looks like Homo Erectus and offers $Y. Prediction – there is a number $Y that is far, far greater than $X, where she is neutral between the two.

    The other dimension discussed is time – the length of the relationship. I would point at that all longer term relationships start out with one encounter. If that encounter sucks, there will not be another. Similarly, most casual relationships will fizzle if there isn’t something beyond sex to add energy to the relationship. That could be money, but it probably isn’t after some length of time. It is some kind of emotional attachment, even if the attachment is only “he or she makes me laugh.”

  143. LD says:

    Hello everyone, thank you to all the experienced SD/SB who share on here, very insightful! I’m only a month into sugar dating and would love it if someone could check out my profile and give me tips/feedback since there is always room for improvement. Thank you! Profile # 1566159

  144. lil_tm says:

    @ London..I did get your mail from across the pond. 😉

    It sure is quiet in here today! *tumbleweed*

  145. London Girl says:

    @lil_tm, I sent you an email but not sure if I got it right or not… Check and let me know!

  146. SteamSugar(formely RedMaru) says:

    In greeting everyone I forgot to answer the questions:
    NSA is fine as long as both parties are in agreement that thats what they want the relationship to be
    NSA is basically an understanding on both people on the boundaries of the relationship and an agreement not to cross those boundaries…intentionally. And if the boundaries are crossed unintentionally then that can be discussed.

  147. Kathy says:

    @SD Guru — It was a magical evening… which turned into a magical two-and-a-half days… But I have no clue what this will turn into. He said that he wants to do Rainier with me… Does that mean that he will pay for the trip next year if we go together? I don’t know… That’s a year away. I’m not going to speculate anything about where my life will be in a year.

    The contest seems like an interesting idea. Did you end up picking a winner? Where did she go? I love how you included having a dinner with you as part of the grand prize…

    @Noob_SD — You are welcome to climb with me anytime. I’ll pack some extra snacks and water in my pack. =)

    @Dashel — Well… I wouldn’t consider this one an SD. We met on WYP, and gave me more than I asked for the date. But there is no arrangement with him other than to keep in touch and maybe we can share a vacation or two together in the future. But thank you for the kudos. Really, I don’t have experiences like that very often… But I cherish them when they come along…

  148. SteamSugar(formely RedMaru) says:

    Morning sugars!
    Darn I missed Midwest

  149. lil_tm says:

    “trampoline ahh yes”

    [IMG]http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-pHjeyd0Ak8w/Twi7mfzLTGI/AAAAAAAAAHE/T3j85dxidMQ/s1600/katy-perry-13.gif[/IMG]

  150. flyr says:

    trampoline ahh yes

  151. flyr says:

    @spicey not at all……… not my fantasy ……… but thanks for your concern

  152. sweetie says:

    Doing my best here, Noob. I got you!

  153. Noob_SD says:

    @ Sweetie Oh, my dear Noob! You bet I’ll hold on tight!

    Oh those tender, loving beautiful arms have to be 6 feet long to go all the way around me Sweetie :)

  154. sweetie says:

    Oh, my dear Noob! You bet I’ll hold on tight!

  155. geisha says:

    Yeahh i agree with NSA thing…this site should be called “nostringattached” so make it clearly for those who are looking for relationship in wrong place
    regards,
    M.

  156. Noob_SD says:

    @Sweetie Noob, hehehe! All the way to Brazil?!

    For my sweetie … all the way to the moon and back … if you want :) Just hang on tight … if you can get your arms all the way around me and don’t fall off

  157. sweetie says:

    Noob, hehehe! All the way to Brazil?!

  158. Noob_SD says:

    @ Sweetie regarding the travel contest

    You don’t need no contest to travel … Just hop onto the back of my bike … :)

  159. sweetie says:

    @Guru regarding the travel contest

    Does study abroad fit the bill?

  160. Dashel says:

    Not sure when squirting became a thing but it seems to come up a lot. I’ve had only one experience with it and it was uh… different.

    All I know for sure is if it’s coming out in a stream, congrats, she’s peeing on you. In my experience it was like a water balloon breaking. So I’m not sure how that works biologically, but yeah not a fan.

    Trampolines are fun though! =p

  161. SugarySpicey says:

    Fly’r dear, did I ruin the sexy fun?

    Replaces with images of blog SBs bouncing, naked on the trampoline.

  162. flyr says:

    It’s only Wednesday night but Spicey is already relaxing on a deep bed of punctured fantasies

  163. I LoveWestCoastGirl says:

    @Guru.
    “I want you put my face in your skirt and make you squirt…”

    “Just curious and in the interest of public service, how many SB’s here are able to squirt? Anyone?”

    Guru,
    you had a few SBs yourself , what is your statistics ? (green smile) :)

    and why is the squirting a big thing for guys ?
    A girl can squirt and not to orgasm,
    Can orgasm and not to squirt ,
    or have both at the same time
    (or none of the above)

  164. SugarySpicey says:

    I am moist with horror about the question of squirting.

    Not to burst your porn bubble gents, but the G-spot is really just the anterior wall of the bladder meeting the clitoral wings and the urethral sponge. The right type of stimulation there can make that sponge excrete causing a “squirt” but when scientists have analyzed the makeup of the squirt – it’s piss. Now that’s hot!

  165. ContentSB says:

    Gah! The word ‘squirt’ is such a disgusting word!! It’s worse than ‘moist’ in my book. Just gonna go grind my nails against a chalkboard now!

  166. Midwest SB says:

    Noob_SD – you’re evil! Hahaha

  167. Dashel says:

    @ Jersey – I think that’s a good thing regardless so good luck! No need to stop posting though, this place seems very separate from SA in any event.

    @lil_tm “I would love to find someone to go hiking, bike riding, do active things”

    Noted. And yeah same especially hiking. I want to do rock climbing actually. That seems fun and there’s a large indoor one near me.

    @Kathy “Honestly, it was the most perfect night a man had ever given me. ‘

    Wow that’s great Kathy. Good to hear and read things like that. See there are some good SD’s out there :)

  168. Noob_SD says:

    Wow, new blog SBs ….

    must …
    look …my ….best now :)

    @ Kathy I’ll come mountain climbing with you as soon as I finish my snack …

  169. CaptainSD says:

    @lil_tm

    I am just like the machine, once you know which buttons to push the money appears:-).

  170. CaptainSD says:

    @SD Guru,

    Whose side are you on?

  171. CaptainSD says:

    @SD’s everywhere

    The evil ILoveWestCoastSB is on the loose. Not only the enemy of all SD’s but she hates democracy as well (is it any surprise she is Russian). Remember:

    She don’t get paid, until you get laid!

  172. I LoveWestCoastGirl says:

    the ” promising” SD is divorced, has 10 y old son, very respectful , 12 years older, gentleman (well, coz he did not grow up in the area I live now, he is from California);
    A bit too vanilla for me but I hope I will work on this.
    the Q is how do you make a BF out of a generous respectful SD.
    or whatever… if it lasts I will be happy ,
    if not, then…no regrets, I still will be happy and fulfilled with my life.

    Here is 1 million $ advice for girls (we all know it, we have to make ourselves use it) – do not sleep on first date, do not sleep on second date, do not sleep on third date, find a guy who treats you good. … and you r going to get not a few hundreds P4P but everything you want, you are going to be treated as YOU want to be treated.
    because you know for yourself! you worth it.

  173. I LoveWestCoastGirl says:

    @
    Content.

    yes, I think I am Ok.
    I did dressed down .
    I am always very! glamourous ; sometime I do pro hair and make up for dates, …
    I he was so shocked how I looked . now we r friends and it is our joke how I was dressed then he took me to French place. :) :)
    My GFs do not believe him then he tells them how I looked for the first date ; coz they never seen me not dressed up, or no make up (even then we go swimming, kayaking , fly boarding). :)

    • SD Guru says:

      @Kathy
      “That night under the stars is stuck in my head… I hope I have more nights like that in my future.”

      Thanks for the update! I was wondering if the potential “sponsor” is going to put money where his mouth is. But perhaps that’s no longer important to you after that magical night. The reason I asked is because back in ’10 I sponsored a contest in the blog to fulfill a SB’s dream of travel. I was wondering if there are other SB’s in the blog with dreams/goals like yours who might be interested in a similar contest. You can read more about the contest here.

      @Principium
      “if some smart people band together to put an intelligent idea for a quasi traditional /sugar dating site, then the old adage, “if you build it, they will come” may take fast roots.”

      The idea for a “higher quality” sugar site has been mentioned several times before. My comment on that was “no one has successfully bridged the gap between mass market sites and high priced match making services like Stanger’s.” You can read my entire comment here (incidentally it’s in the same post from ’10 as the one I provided to Kathy above).

      @KittyKat
      “I want you put my face in your skirt and make you squirt…”

      Just curious and in the interest of public service, how many SB’s here are able to squirt? Anyone? :mrgreen:

  174. ContentSB says:

    @ILWCG — It sounds like you’ve had some luck! Are you still seeing the SD who showed some promise?? I also love that you knew the other one was just going to be a friend, so you dressed down for it haha :) Sometimes it’s just not worth putting all of our effort into it! :)

    @Midwest — So happy to hear you’ve found a good man who is treating you well and keeping you playful! :) Although sugar can obviously be great, I bet it’s a nice change to have a more traditional relationship. Congrats on the house too! I think home ownership would be a lot of fun, but until I have my own personal handy man I’ll stick to renting and my trusty on-call maintenance guy haha. I think Tina is the gardener in the group, although I wish I had a green thumb!

  175. Kathy says:

    Yes, Midwest… I’ve found the same thing… Also, they appreciate having someone with enough life experience that they feel they can relate to them. I’m not saying a younger SB isn’t intelligent, but there are some things you just can’t fully appreciate until you’ve experienced them yourself.

    Well… It’s quitting time! Time to haul my SB butt up a mountain! 😉

  176. Midwest SB says:

    If there weren’t any of those slimy profiles, we wouldn’t have much to laugh at, would we? :) Makes you appreciate the normal guys that much more.

    Flyer – I think something about letting fish swim by stuck! Punny thing is that I love to fish, but always throw the little ones back. I can still catch a hog or two with the right bait!

    Kathy – Welcome to my world! I was 42 (46 now) when I joined SA and had some luck here. It seems that the men appreciate not drawing any attention to themselves. I’m attractive, but not young enough to make people look twice. I’m not looking any longer, but there is definitely room for “non-traditional” SBs.

    James.m – Awwwwww….what would my life be if I hadn’t met you? ***Kiss*** I’m so glad to see you’re entrepreneurial spirit is soaring again. There is so much still ahead of you!

    NC Gent – It’s on! Bummer about the Stones…that would have been fun! E-mail me some dates and we’ll see what shows are around!

  177. lil_tm says:

    @ London Girl. I don’t have your email, but you can reach me at sbelle1oh1@gmail

  178. Kathy says:

    Ha! lil_tm, that would make you a sugar mamma! 😉

  179. lil_tm says:

    “Of course I am just saying atop my head and there could be serious flaws with my ideas. But if one of you runs away with this and then hits a few million$$$ down the road, throwing a little bone down my way would be greatly appreciated :D”

    SD asking SB for $$?? Now that has to be a first!! Could even be another idea. Actually, with some of the emails I get, it could be quite refreshing.

  180. Principium says:

    Correction: ^^^ Now, I do see a lot of legal repercussions as to why it may be a good idea for SD/SB site owners NOT to get involved…^^^

  181. Principium says:

    @ lil_tm:

    SA is a mass meet (or meat with pun) market of the sugar world. It is a cash cow for the site owners and the basic premise is that the SBs out number SDs by a factor of 10 to 1. Those who are somewhat more familiar with the site, see the blatant flaws with that marketing strategy with respect to the bill of goods which the site is hawking.

    Many traditional matchmakers charge a fee for their service. The Internet has done away with the necessity for the old fashioned photo portfolios. These days, almost anything can be done online to cater to a much more expansive populous both nationwide and worldwide. If there was a screening service whereby the site owners could screen the potential SDs & SBs and also to charge both genders a membership fee plus a matchmaking fee, this process alone would eradicate a large number of time wasters and the riff raff.

    Now, I do see a lot of legal repercussions as to why it may not be a good idea for SD/SB site owners NOT to get involved with sugar matchmaking and only choose to act as a medium and conduit for this lifestyle, but quite frankly, to do it properly is no different than the Bravo Channel’s Millionaire Matchmaker program (which I don’t particularly care for its host and her usually sh*tty advice) Nevertheless, one of the reasons which Patti Stanger keeps emphasizing’ “no sex before monogamy” is not really because she cares so much about the girls she recruits, but because this verbal (perhaps also a written clause) circumvents many issues relating to P4P between the matched couples (it has been known that MMM often picks from a pool of adult entertainers, adult actresses & possibly current/former escorts)

    All I am saying is that when there’s a will, there will be a way and if some smart people band together to put an intelligent idea for a quasi traditional /sugar dating site, then the old adage, “if you build it, they will come” may take fast roots.

    Of course I am just saying atop my head and there could be serious flaws with my ideas. But if one of you runs away with this and then hits a few million$$$ down the road, throwing a little bone down my way would be greatly appreciated 😀

    P.S. If you get arrested for running something illicit, I’ve never heard of you 😉

  182. Kathy says:

    @KittyKat — With the right guy, I would deeply enjoy playing the role of a submissive slave girl… (actually… I have enjoyed that once or twice… or more than thrice) But probably not with someone who sends that to me as his introductory message… That’s about as appropriate as the bug chasing text from last week.

  183. Kathy says:

    @lil_tm — Honestly, it was the most perfect night a man had ever given me. I can only hope and pray to be lucky enough to have that again.

    With that said… If that is what you want, ask for it. You’ll never get it if you don’t ask for it. Instead of trying to squeeze yourself into someone else’s box to make him desire you, just be yourself. Then, you’ll repel the men who aren’t matches for you and only attract men who are the right fit for you. Don’t worry about measuring up to anyone’s expectations except your own.

  184. lil_tm says:

    LOL @ fatty’s new pic. Can I have the pin for that thing?? 😛

  185. lil_tm says:

    @ Kathy-that sound like a lot of fun. I would love to find someone to go hiking, bike riding, do active things, etc with rather than just dining and sexin. :0)

  186. Kathy says:

    Hi SD Guru – Thank you for taking the time to read. I’ve been working really hard… I actually climbed Pinnacle 5 days last week. =)

    As far as the potential sponsor… We met for lunch and had a wonderful conversation, and then we climbed Pinnacle together when I got off work. I think I had mentioned that he was passing through visiting his mother on his way to go camping and backpacking out West. So that night, he got a campsite right on the Arkansas River, and we sat by the fire and drank some chardonnay… and then we retired to the tent and played and cuddled and watched the river barges float past under the stars… SWEET GOD! It was PERFECT!!! =)

    He was supposed to leave Friday… But he ended up getting a hotel and staying another night. Right now, he’s backpacking through Colorado… Occasionally, when he gets a signal, he’ll text me a photo of the mountains around his campsite. He lives out of state, so we can’t really have a real relationship. But he wants to keep in touch with me. He said that we have similar goals, and he would really love to do Rainier with me.

    (Actually… While we were playing… he kept whispering in my ear… He said, “I know Rainier is important to you, but whether or not you go, it’s not important… It’s just a symbol. You’ve already conquered your Rainier… You’ve overcome so much… You’re an amazing, beautiful woman, and don’t ever let any man treat you like you’re not.” WOW!!! I’ve never had a man make me feel so beautiful like that! It’s like he was my own personal cheerleader!)

    I’m trying not to get my hopes up too much. I’ve had plenty of men whisper beautiful nothings into my ear… But whether we climb Rainier together or not… It was beautiful… I haven’t been able to focus on work all week… That night under the stars is stuck in my head… I hope I have more nights like that in my future.

  187. sweetie says:

    Lil “trouser snake” Hehehe!

  188. lil_tm says:

    @ Treasured

    Some of that would actually turn me on if the right person was saying it, but someone I’ve never corresponded with? No way, Jose.

    Hopefully he didn’t send pics of his trouser snake as well? :0)

  189. KittyKat says:

    AND!!!

    Another one! I guess it is my lucky day!!

    I am looking for a naturally submissive lady to take shopping for clothes and shoes, and to the salon for hair/nails etc.

    In public I treat my lady with the utmost class and respect that she deserves, and am always a gentleman. In bed however I like to be in served and in control but I respect all limits. I would love to train and teach you how to properly kneel at the feet of a powerful dominant man.I granted you permission to view my private pics. I hope to hear back from you.

    “rushes off to buy a kneeling pillow to finally submit to a will of such a gem of a man”!!!

    LOOOOL

    Sweetie, wink are annoying but sometimes can lead to something else…

  190. sweetie says:

    Treasured, he’s a keeper!

    What’s the consensus on winks? I’m thinking about disabling the feature, too many lazy/lame attempts from Sds using them.

  191. KittyKat says:

    A quick come back just to share this pearl of a message I just got:

    I want to put my tongue in your pussy. And roll it around. I want to love your lips. I want to kiss your pussy n grab your body.

    I want you put my face in your skirt and make you squirt. Oh baby I need someone like you in my life. But I could go on for few hrs.

    Would you rather ride a thick cock for 40 min without break. I need a shameless hot baby.

    Start with $3000 per month. Later $5000 if things get really interesting

    Oh well 😀

    KittyKat, AKA Treasured

  192. sweetie says:

    Bastardo “I have chosen a sexy new gravatar in anticipation of the new breed of SB blog posters.”
    New name, new gravatar, same old bastard!

  193. lil_tm says:

    Thanks Prince.

    “As for your comment about maybe we should all get together and having our own website, as few topics back (I don’t think you had joined us yet back then) someone had mentioned that perhaps eventually a very enterprising SB will come up with a very streamlined Sugar Site which will cater more specifically to those who are earnest about this lifestyle. I personally think that the creator of SA has since moved on!”

    I think it’s a great idea. It would be a lot of work and would certainly have to be like the Fort Knox of sugar dating, but I’m sure there are many people out there that would be super appreciative.

    “Looks like it going to be me and DianaSBinOC on the blog. What do you say girl, do you want to start a blog romance?”

    Be careful Fatty…she’ll be blocking you soon enough… 😉

  194. CaptainSD says:

    “The times they are a changin'”

    Looks like it going to be me and DianaSBinOC on the blog. What do you say girl, do you want to start a blog romance?

    I have chosen a sexy new gravatar in anticipation of the new breed of SB blog posters.

    CaptainSD is waiting!

  195. Kathy says:

    Princi: You are absolutely right. The universe is filled with abundance. We just need to be open to receiving it. =)

    Midwest: I’m still fairly new here, but I’m loving your wisdom. (I’m a Midwest girl myself… ;-)…) And what you said is so true about allowing fish to swim by. I’m very up front about what I’m looking for in my profile as well as what I’m able to provide. I realize that we each have different needs and desires. So I always consider honesty the best policy. I assume there is always someone out there looking for what I have to offer… I just need to be still… Be patient… And wait.

    I guess I’m not the typical SB. I’m 35 and have been out of college for a number of years… (Actually went back last year for an MBA… But I don’t know if I want to go back this fall… Trying to balance my career, raising two teenagers, and studying really kicked my butt.) But my point is, even though I’m not a young college coed, I’m still attractive, fit, intelligent, and caring. My profile tends to attract older gentlemen who enjoy my conversation as much (and sometimes more) than our extracurricular activities.

    Of course, I could write a book about some of the jerks who wanted to treat me like a cheap prostitute (i.e. The so-called “doctor” who wanted to meet me at the McDonalds near his house and take me home… Hmmm… NO!) But I can generally weed those out through a few emails and never have to suffer the torture of actually meeting them.

  196. Principium says:

    @ Jersey: Major kudos Girlie and I am very happy for you :) I think that is a very smart personal choice to concentrate on your career and hope that your new career path makes much better use of your smarts and intelligence. Alas, I am not the lucky blogger who is 35+ years older than you, but I never thought in one minute that I was as smart as you either 😛

    @ lil_tm: with your sharp wit, sense of humor and legs like that, you will find your new beau whether on here on on there (outside of here) I suppose that almost everything in life exists in abundance and if one develops that kind of mentality, one eventually find what he/she seeks. For instance, there are ungodly chunks of capital in this US of A where we call home. Whenever I stressed out about $$$ and didn’t believe that somehow I could somehow tap into that enormous source of capital, I made less $$$ and whenever I did not sweat it much and focused all my creative resources in as to how I could get a piece of the action, without worrying myself to death, I actually made more $$$. Funny as to how that works, but the same thing with relationships! I liked the very folksy way that MidWest had put it about letting hundreds of fish swimming by!

    Now, I did mention the very low ROI up thread and if my statement seems in contrast to that post, it really is a dichotomy and not a contradiction per se! I all depends on time we wish to invest and hence the first part of my post sending my sincere kudos to Jersey. Speaking on my own behalf, I was no longer prepared to invest time on SA as an active SD prospect. This actually cost me $$$ (not referring to the inconsequential $ which I wasted chasing the wrong kind of leads) by taking away from my main focus which is what I do IRL.

    As for your comment about maybe we should all get together and having our own website, as few topics back (I don’t think you had joined us yet back then) someone had mentioned that perhaps eventually a very enterprising SB will come up with a very streamlined Sugar Site which will cater more specifically to those who are earnest about this lifestyle. I personally think that the creator of SA has since moved on!

  197. London Girl says:

    Hey you can share it with us! I know exactly how you feel, there literally isn’t a single person I can share this with either. If you ever want to get it off your chest or have a rant feel free to email me (Guru please send lil_tm my email address if she wants it).

    Jersey hopefully won’t be able to stay away too long, I know ‘cos I’ve tried! This blog is way too addictive.

  198. lil_tm says:

    “Your comment about a man dating 30 years younger achived the impossible and made CaptainSD cry.”

    Tears of laughter or tears of joy? 😉

    “Those whose judgement you fear and who are still single, or close to that state, watch Sex In The City and giggle, date men who may be willing to invest one cocktail evening and one dinner before having sex and pass judgement on all.”

    I understand what you’re saying. I don’t care about most people passing judgement on me, I care about my friends and family. My mom would have a heart attack if she ever found out I did something like this!!
    On one had, it’s my dirty little secret and I like the naughty aspect, but on the other, it kind of plagues me that I can’t share it with anyone.

    “I re-activated my profile as a bit of an experiment a couple of weeks ago, very much in a “let’s see” frame of mind and largely due to the level headedness and sanity of the blog SD’s, I thought if they were on the site then there must be some good guys to be found.”

    Exactly! The guys on the blog are pretty cool and I thought the same thing..if they’re here, they must be out there.
    Then i wondered if the fact that we get to communicate here in a such a way that you get a glimpse into a persons personality allows us a certain luxury that we don’t have browsing a short profile. Yes, I think so.
    Maybe we bloggers should start our own website. 😉

    Don’t leave us Jersey! :p

  199. NC Gent says:

    Hi James – good to read that all is going well for you!

    Midwest – I will be coming to your area of the world a little more frequently so we will have to catch a concert this year…. I was a week too late to catch the Stones ughhh

  200. Jersey Darling says:

    Interesting commentary going on…

    I’m one of those who is leaving sugar. It’s taken me a few months to finally come to that conclusion (as those of you know know me have probably noticed my posting has become more and more infrequent – I used to be one of the highest commenters on this blog (SD Guru can attest to that! 😛 ) to now going days without even reading it.

    The truth is, modesty aside, I make a perfect SB. I have always been off the beaten track in relationships. I’m young (in my late 20s, young enough to be in demand but old enough to know my value), pretty, smart, and I can think like a man but act like a woman. And my sexual appetite is insatiable. I’ve been single for years because I won’t commit to someone if I don’t think they’re worth the investment, yet I’d still love companionship and someone – one person – to share my mind and body with. Typical FWBs doesn’t get this accomplished, and truthfully I rarely give sex away for free because I know how much it’s worth. And I don’t just mean monetarily.

    But yes, this site has fallen to bits. I don’t have a problem with someone 30 years my senior (in fact, the hottest person on this site who gave me butterflies so strong I’d get them from his emails was about 36 years older than me) but I still realize that commands a premium. And I have no problem informing the “gentlemen” I meet from this site of that if they think, at 55+, they’re going to get a “trial run” Pah!

    I hoped to find someone I had a connection with, that I genuinely enjoyed, where we both absolutely loved the time we spent together as MUCH as we loved the time we spend apart. I enjoyed the financial aspect – I found it both welcome and an aphrodisiac.

    Now, all the money in the world can’t convince me to put up with this. Yes, I actually have a few potentials left that I’m going through – and once they’re done, that’s it for me.

    My focus is going back to my career and generating the money for myself. I chose to take a lower paying job because I was passionate about it, but now playtime is over and the adults must go back to work. I was hoping I’d find a man who’d help me live my dream, but at the end of the day the only thing we have is ourselves.

    (I probably won’t be posting here much anymore, at least for a while as I reprioritize.)

  201. London Girl says:

    @lil_tm, I felt exactly the same way as you do, it’s the reason I de-activated my account previously, there were just too many scumbags and too many girls willing to deal with them on their level.

    I re-activated my profile as a bit of an experiment a couple of weeks ago, very much in a “let’s see” frame of mind and largely due to the level headedness and sanity of the blog SD’s, I thought if they were on the site then there must be some good guys to be found.

    Very much of the “It would be nice if I met someone through here but I couldn’t really care less” frame of mind. This time round my profile seems to be attracting a much higher calibre of respondent, having said that I’ve only actually gotten round to meeting one of them, he was absolutely lovely and pretty much exactly what I’m looking for (going purely by a couple of conversations, lots of googling of him and one meeting), I doubt if I’ll bother meeting anyone else but we’ll see.

    I think what I’m trying to say is not to invest any hopes into it but put your profile out there anyway and only bother responding/meeting those who genuinely strike a chord with you.

  202. James.m says:

    Midwest? Is that you? I’m still madly in love with you, even if you don’t know it.
    And NC Gent and Guru?
    The blog is alive and well, I see. It’s been a while.
    I’ve connected recently with Beach and a few others from the old days, much to my delight.
    I’m back in the game with a new software company and many old friends from the past. Traveling too much, but life is great. I think we need a reunion!
    I hope all is well with you all, and everyone should know that you can make some wonderful friends and memories here!

  203. flyr says:

    “””Let me try to explain where I’m coming from.
    First of all, the way I was raised becomes an issue because this goes against all morals and values I’ve been taught. So, Catholic guilt is the first problem. I can’t share this with anyone near and dear to me because they would think I’m out my tree. How can I vent? I’m a private person, but I have one or two friends that I share EVERYTHING with.
    I can justify it to myself most times…I’ve been dealt a bad hand, I’m a widow, I’ve had some really bad obstacles to deal with, etc. What’s so bad about me not wanting to struggle?
    But, what I was taught is that even if that’s the case, you still do the “right thing” even if that means struggling your booty off.”””””

    Let me suggest Plan B

    Those whose judgement you fear and who are still single, or close to that state, watch Sex In The City and giggle, date men who may be willing to invest one cocktail evening and one dinner before having sex and pass judgement on all.

    Cast off the scarlet cape and take control the way many of your girlfriends dream they could

    I wish I could take some of the doubters and beam them up to an event I was at a couple of years ago. The essence of the event is that a group of car guys would bring 60-70 classic cars down to Texas for 4 days and do 1,000 miles of fast driving (we had special plates that excused all but the stupidest behavior) in some classic cars, many of which belonged in museums.

    The common thread across the car owners was that these were guys who were either working too hard or too nerdy to really have fun in college and the years before and after , but now they wanted to re-live what they missed.

    In college they were driving a vw bugs and studying physics or medicine while the cool guys were driving a Porsche Speedster or Corvettes, dating the hot girls and smoking righteous weed . Now it was their turn. It was interesting to see how many of them were driving the classic cars from their high school days.

    A responsible collector would have put their car in a temperature controlled exhibit hall but there they were blowing across Texas at 125, getting gravel dings on their treasures but having the time of their lives.

    I mention all of this because it is the prime, classy SB ” target market” – finding the SD who wants to re-live what he missed along the way. You have the ability to bring a priceless gift and to be honored for the gift. It’s a lot less transactional than much of what passes for “normal” dating today.

  204. Midwest SB says:

    O captain, my captain – that would be called compromise. I will always look for the needle ( figuratively speaking)

    ILWCG – thank you. I love your sharp wit and fiesty nature!

    Night sugars

  205. Midwest SB says:

    Guru- Hey handsome! Enjoyimg your summer?

    Flyer- you do know theres a hopeless romantic under that adventurous exterior!

    Daschel – pardon my misquote. Sounds like you may have a blog crush :).

    Lil tm – you have amazing legs!

  206. CaptainSD says:

    I am the cynical one yet all the posts are people crying about hard it is on the SA site. Once you accept the site for what it is and the members for what they are the site can work well.

    Maybe it’s time for a change. The onion smelling profiles are destined to inherit the SA site.

    @lil_tm

    Your comment about a man dating 30 years younger achived the impossible and made CaptainSD cry.

  207. flyr says:

    @listener “How DOES one find out from the start exactly what’s being sought after by the other side? If their profiles don’t say what they want, their messages don’t seem to be much better, how am I supposed to know the expectations of any pot SD even with meeting them if they’re not willing to put it out there themselves? I could use a little advice there.”

    When you talk about yourself say a little about what you hope to achieve here – j

    Wwe’re guys who can discuss an entire subject in one sentence. Help us self select .

    You are hoping to find a:

    When you talk about your ideal talk about your goals , likes and dislikes. If you want: someone who likes whips but has a light hand, someone who takes you to the hottest clubs as arm candy, wants to hear what you have to say over a glass on wine etc,

    There’s also resonance – are you looking for another designer item or some help to keep focused on school.

    What are the rewards (I’m turned off by the I’ll try anything line) for your sd. Help him visualize the paradise you can create. It will not appeal to all but if you are honest you may improve your odds. Do you want a SD who puts your pleasure on an even level with his or just the envelope please……………

  208. flyr says:

    @lil – I think one of MW true secrets is that she stands still, rather than chases……. is true to her beliefs and attracts those who are attracted for what she is………. doesn’t appear to worry if 100 fish swim by, chasing some wiggly bait…..

  209. Noob_SD says:

    @listener@Noob_SD: Yeah, I truly get that. I think that I’m going to try and give it a shot, of course, but if nothing seems to be anything but guys trying to P4P me, I doubt I’ll stick around here, myself.

    Don’t let my rant get you down. There are some people with good experiences on this blog, with pretty sober advice. It seems like if you are careful, selective and patient you can find what what you are looking for. Part of my inability to find someone is also because of my quirks/personality, lack of chemistry, schedules – not all are escorts. I still have doubts about the veracity of what “604” posted.

    Good luck to you!

  210. lil_tm says:

    @mwsb
    Thanks a lot. It’s obvious your an advocate for this type of dating and it worked for you and you seem to have some sound advice. Much appreciated. : )

  211. Midwest SB says:

    Lil-tm – There is a small group of SDs (and some are likely lurking) who are absolute gems. They are comfortable, but not overbearingly wealthy. They can afford an SB, but still have to watch where there money goes. They are chivalrous and want to mentor an SB or give her a chance when life has dealt a rough hand. That’s who you want to meet. They are modest in their profiles and giving in their nature. If it suits you, perhaps try going on a hidden profile and only give profiles of SDs that intrigue you a glimpse. That decreases the spam and scum. F*ck the girls giving it away…you’re out of their league. As P said, it’s more than just a pretty face. Sounds like that break is a great chance to rethink things. I understand that guilt…I struggled when I came here too. I felt like I couldn’t tell anyone. I eventually made a few friends off the blog (still friends) and found support among them. I finally told my bff and she wanted to know more! She never judged and I’m forever grateful. When you achieve your goals and are true to yourself, the peace will come.

  212. lil_tm says:

    “As I told lil_tm, you have to state what you want.”

    That’s just a given and I have no problem laying it on the line.

    Let me try to explain where I’m coming from.
    First of all, the way I was raised becomes an issue because this goes against all morals and values I’ve been taught. So, Catholic guilt is the first problem. I can’t share this with anyone near and dear to me because they would think I’m out my tree. How can I vent? I’m a private person, but I have one or two friends that I share EVERYTHING with.
    I can justify it to myself most times…I’ve been dealt a bad hand, I’m a widow, I’ve had some really bad obstacles to deal with, etc. What’s so bad about me not wanting to struggle?
    But, what I was taught is that even if that’s the case, you still do the “right thing” even if that means struggling your booty off.

    Why would a guy put in the effort to get to know a girl when he can easily have a girl just as beautiful without any effort by dropping $500? That is what f*cks shit up and why guys treat us the way they do.
    They want instant gratification and the hoes out there are providing it.
    This is not just in sugar dating. People are selfish by nature..it’s just the way it is. They want what they want and they want it NOW.
    A wealthy man?? Even worse. He’s used to getting his way all the time if he’s a pig headed bully.

    There’s just a grimy side to all this that I’m having a hard time overlooking right now. I can do without sex and I can do without money. I’d rather not, but I can.

    It’s like I said earlier in the thread…when I put myself out there as available, the influx of weasels, weirdos and wackadoos come out the woodwork. And they are the reason I wanna be singalllllllllllllllllllllll.

    @dashel. You’re different, so this doesn’t apply to you. I’d share my coconut or strawberry moonshine with you anytime. :)

  213. Dashel says:

    You’ll actually do much better when you don’t really care what happens.

    I think that’s really good advice, along with the strawberry moonshine, I love strawberries. Pro tip there thanks! 😉

    But yeah I think that was the key for me. Sure an aesthetically pleasing girl gets the blood flowing, no doubt. But there are a lot of pretty girls out there, what makes me care is the whole package. Can I talk to her, is she funny, does she laugh at my jokes, is she smart, or at the least not an idiot.

    If some girl turns out to be an escort, it’s annoying but hardly soul crushing. I think in that regards it’s far worse for the SBs who may get treated poorly. On the other hand the fools out there only make the rest of us look better if only by comparison. The only dangerous ones are those who have the ability to believably fake sincerity over a significant period of time.

    Sugar is just an accelerant and a barrier to entry that shifts the numbers game on traditional sites to the men’s favor. So I tried it. Honestly seems a lot like regular dating to me. I have very limited experience of course.

  214. I LoveWestCoastGirl says:

    @Spicy.

    “I’ve found that SA is a lot like shopping the clearance rack at a thrift store: most of the stuff is garbage, and it smells like onions, but occasionally you can find an unworn Channel.”
    What a great comparison !
    and a girl has to believe in luck .

    MidWest.

    Bow down to your wisdom (as always).

  215. Midwest SB says:

    Lil_tm – Sugar can be emotionally exhausting. The search is disenchanting and the anonymity of the internet can make some people downright mean. Everyone needs a break to regroup…don’t think you’re the first. You’ll actually do much better when you don’t really care what happens. How did someone put it…”stay detached from the outcome”. Great words!

  216. Noob_SD says:

    @ lil_tm

    Cheer up! :)

  217. Midwest SB says:

    Principium – IRL sugar seems to work well for the guys. I hope you sweep some deserving lady off her feet and introduce her to traditional sugar!

    Listener- There are a lot of “one hit wonders” here and the sexual revolution seems to have reappeared from the 60s. This makes it tough for the women. As I told lil_tm, you have to state what you want. Don’t dance around the subject and don’t wait until the first, second or third date to finally say your looking for an allowance to do xyz. Put your allowance range and goals in your profile. Demographics matter…$3-5K doesn’t go far in NYC, but screams volumes in Oklahoma. Are you available weekly, bi-weekly, monthly? Can you travel? These are important as your SD doesn’t want to reschedule if you can only meet on occasion. Are you willing to make him feel like a king and give him what a GF cannot (no drama, flexibility, follow through on your end of the arrangement, etc)? Don’t compromise…it only breeds bitterness. Don’t depend on sugar…SDs don’t like the feeling that they are your only source of income and don’t like it when you continuously have little emergencies b/c you can’t budget or don’t have another income. Depending on sugar also leads to compromising and many ladies end up with regrets. Also, your profile should focus on what you can do for him as well as what you are seeking. He’s less interested in the fact that you love Hello Kitty and more interested in the fact that you can travel to see him (as his treat, of course).

    That should give you a starting point…

  218. lil_tm says:

    “Lil-tm – Momma always said “anything worth having is worth working for…”

    Thanks for the words of encouragement. haha..yea, I totally agree and I’m extremely familiar with hard work but that doesn’t mean I can tolerate this emotionally. Right here, right now it’s just rubbing me the wrong way. Strange because I usually don’t let b.s. get to me, but there’s just too many cretins lately and it’s making me want to run.
    Congrats on what it’s done for you. I know it’s possible. Maybe I”m just in a grouchy mood.

  219. lil_tm says:

    “I found both methods to be too time consuming with unsatisfactory ROI! “

    Amen.

  220. listener says:

    @Noob_SD: Yeah, I truly get that. I think that I’m going to try and give it a shot, of course, but if nothing seems to be anything but guys trying to P4P me, I doubt I’ll stick around here, myself.

    @all: Hearing all of your opinions on the matter, I must admit to being a little perplexed. I’m just hoping to find my place in the sugar world, if it exists, which makes all the varying degrees of what is what is what disorienting, to say the least. How DOES one find out from the start exactly what’s being sought after by the other side? If their profiles don’t say what they want, their messages don’t seem to be much better, how am I supposed to know the expectations of any pot SD even with meeting them if they’re not willing to put it out there themselves? I could use a little advice there.

  221. Midwest SB says:

    Lil-tm – Momma always said “anything worth having is worth working for…”. This is especially true in sugar. Sugar can have the financial windfall of some professional occupations (with perks), therefore you have to get your “degree”. Put some strong screening tools in your arsenal and be VERY clear from the profile to the conversations to the dinner about your goals and what you need to get there. Don’t be afraid to state what you are seeking. It will save you and the pot SDs a lot of time and headaches. If he tries to demean you because he “doesn’t have to pay for a woman” then he just doesn’t understand sugar and you need not waste anymore time. Block and delete.

    Sugar helped me finish college, set me on track for a new career, and now I’m getting my Masters and have bought a home. Not bad for a single mom who was unemployed for 18 months and went through a career overhaul. I was treated very well, enjoyed travel, experiences, fine dining and amazing conversation with some lovers that put the young guys to shame. It’s a great adventure that I will never regret. Just grow a thick skin and stay true to your goals.

  222. SugarySpicey says:

    Noob – I’ve met a few great people, taken delightful trips all over the world, enjoyed full belly-laughs and full-body orgasms, which is why I go back and forth.

    I’ve found that SA is a lot like shopping the clearance rack at a thrift store: most of the stuff is garbage, and it smells like onions, but occasionally you can find an unworn Channel.

    I wrote a blog about how I think my profile affected the comments I was receiving. This go ’round a less sexy profile (with a super hot pic) resulted in more quality responses.

    sugarmytips.wordpress.com/?s=Back+in+the&submit=Search

  223. SugarySpicey says:

    Noob – I’ve met a few great people, taken delightful trips all over the world, enjoyed full belly-laughs and full-body orgasms, which is why I go back and forth.

    I’ve found that SA is a lot like shopping the clearance rack at a thrift store: most of the stuff is garbage, and it smells like onions, but occasionally you can find an unworn Channel.

    I wrote a blog about how I think my profile affected the comments I was receiving. This go ’round a less sexy profile (with a super hot pic) resulted in more quality responses. http://sugarmytips.wordpress.com/?s=Back+in+the&submit=Search

  224. Principium says:

    @ MWSB:

    My “Hobby” discussion with FBSD came from an up thread poster named “Ken”

    For the record: I am not interested in the escort world, although I am quite knowledgeable on its ways. I also recently left online sugar after my third stint on SA. I found both methods to be too time consuming with unsatisfactory ROI! I am still open to some form of RL sugar if opportunity arises, but I am not actively pursuing it on SA or similar. I hope that this helps.

  225. lil_tm says:

    Quite honestly, I’m starting to think this stuff isn’t for me anyway.

    Sure, it’s disheartening to go on dates and have conversations with scumballs and sometimes it makes you think that’s all that is out there, although I don’t think it’s the case. As a matter of fact, I know there are a few good SDs out there as I’ve met/talked to a couple.

    The thing is, I get grossed out with how some people can be. I don’t care what anyone says, a man dating someone 30 years his junior is weird and it’s gross and it’s perverted. And doing it for nice shoes or a handbag is equally disgusting.

    I thought I could make it easier on myself by finding someone who can provide a bit of a financial boost so that I won’t have to suffer financially, but it’s too much work and aggravation. You have to go through 100 bad apples to find a good one and I just don’t feel like it. I guess what I’m saying is that I’d rather suffer financially that wade through this pool of mostly scum anymore.

  226. CaptainSD says:

    @MidwestSB

    One can classify behaviour without passing judgement :-). It’s a habit of mine which drives everyone around mr insane and I figured I would share it with the blog community as well. For me NSA gives me clean conscience. If at any time I decide to pursue a non arranged relationship my SB knows that I will stop the arrangement without notice. I realize she may do the same with me at any time. Am I a John? You could certainly make the case for it. Do I care, not really.

  227. Midwest SB says:

    Ah…So the discussion hasn’t evolved from former blogs. I could have done that little piece of homework. Congrats on your ongoing arrangement! Those can be difficult to come by…especially for the ladies.

    As for committed SDs/ SBs with their sugar on the side…it’s an area only they can pass judgment. They live with their decisions and as we all know…there are three sides to every story (his, hers, and the truth). Who knows what their reasoning is for their choices. Perhaps they are trying to get out of a bad relationship; perhaps they aren’t having their needs met, but cannot get out of said relationship; perhaps their living situation has led them to sugar because of unemployment, disability, etc; perhaps it’s an open relationship. Granted neither is being faithful, but this isn’t the kind of place for ethical judgment. It only takes two people to agree upon an arrangement. If the terms satisfy both, then for all intents and purposes, it’s a mutually beneficial arrangement. I don’t really see the need to categorize others. I don’t want someone to mistaken me for a pro, but that’s their issue…not mine. I know I don’t behave as one, so I’m at peace.

    Got a little long-winded…I’ll keep it short and simple going forward.

  228. Noob_SD says:

    @Spicey Noob and NC – That was a big part in choosing to deactivate my account both times. I got sick of being spoken to like I was an escort. They really are ruining it for everyone – even if FBSD thinks all SBs are hookers, some of us are not.

    Can I ask what brought you back? I am in the process of deciding whether to renew … It is not the money but the sheer aggravation that comes after knowing that I wasted my time, for nothing. It is literally, a mindfuck (mindfuck: A process of raping your intelligence, from Urban Dictionary).

    I don’t think all are escorts, but maybe my bad luck in attracting them. Even my screening did not catch the last one … it went on for several emails/over several days and till she asked me about getting a room before she had even met me in person, I did not see what was going on. Flyr’s note above on spotting them helps.

  229. CaptainSD says:

    Wow, no emoticons in my last post!

  230. CaptainSD says:

    @Midwest SB

    Guys always talk about escorts, strippers etc. The discussion started because a poster named Ken compared SB’s with strippers. Some blog posters thought he was disgusting. It seems that many posters believe a SB who has multiple SD’s or a BF is not an escort, I disagree and think these SB’s are no better than Ken. It would seem I am in the minority even among those who remember the good old days. If that is the case I don’t buy the story that the site has gone downhill because I don’t see any difference.

    Never claimed I wanted an exclusive attangement, I don’t think it is easy to find on the SA site in any case.

    I am not sure why people assume I am having trouble with the site as I am one of the few blog posters who actually has an ongoing arrangement.

  231. Midwest SB says:

    Dashel – I’ve had strawberry moonshine with the fruit still soaking up the juices inside…Put it together with coconut and you have a moonshine colada! Sounds perfect on a summer night!

  232. Midwest SB says:

    Hi NC Gent! Concert season is in full swing out here, but my man isn’t that into them. I may need a concert buddy! I love that you thought of me! Didn’t you meet a lady at a concert and propose a sugar arrangement? I forget…

    As for your rant…It’s all been said before. Perhaps we are the ones at fault for wanting to keep our innocent, idealistic view of sugar intact while others encourage it to evolve into that gray area. The SB/ pro argument is exhausting. I prefer to say that people will treat you according to how you act. If someone wants to judge me, I don’t really care.

    ContentSB – I have a wonderful man in my life and am still keeping the “cougar” in me alive and well :) It’s not sugar, but I’m in a different place now. Sugar certainly helped me reach important goals and has set me up to handle the rest on my own. I miss it sometimes, but also realize it can be somewhat exhausting. PS – I bought a house in March and it has a fabulous yard! I believe you appreciate gardening!

    FBSD – I may have missed the prior discussions with you, but did I understand correctly that you want a mutually exclusive arrangement without mentoring your SB? If so, I don’t necessarily see a problem with that. I prefer exclusivity, but also have a realistic notion that it is rare. I’ve walked both sides of this fence (single SD/ married SD). My question is why are you and P having a lengthy discussion over hobbies? Or are you two just discerning if hiring a pro would better meet your expectations? Are others saying that what you want doesn’t exist? Is your allowance a factor here? I’m a little out of the loop.

  233. SugarySpicey says:

    Noob and NC – That was a big part in choosing to deactivate my account both times. I got sick of being spoken to like I was an escort. They really are ruining it for everyone – even if FBSD thinks all SBs are hookers, some of us are not.

  234. Noob_SD says:

    @ NCGent I may regret jumping into this fray, but I know several SDs who have never seen an escort. I have never seen one either, but I am not judging those who do. It just isn’t for me.

    Same here and that is my biggest disappointment with this site. I did not expect to find escorts on SA.

  235. Noob_SD says:

    @ lil_tm P.S. What happened to Noob Saibot? Smeagol can be endearing, as ugly as he is, but he can’t teleport.

    Whatever I may look like on the outside, I will always be your Noob_Saibot … inside :)

  236. ShugaBaby says:

    SBs prefer older men. SDs prefer younger women. Everyone prefers security, gifts and great sex. No need to over think things

    That’s not necessarily true. One sd is only 6 years older than me…he’s looking for what he can’t get at home. Attention, affection, a free-spirited woman. My other sd is only 1 year older than me…he just wants a “gf” who’s there for him but doesn’t require his time. Not all sd’s are cut from the same cloth…just like all sb’s aren’t.

  237. Dashel says:

    SBs prefer older men. SDs prefer younger women. Everyone prefers security, gifts and great sex. No need to over think things. :)

    Let’s all pour a mason jar full of coconut moonshine and get cozy.

  238. SugarySpicey says:

    Raises her hand! I prefer older men! I just expect them to be really, really good at giving me lots of orgasms (and presents, but that goes without saying).

  239. CaptainSD says:

    @NC Gent,

    Hold on there, these young beautiful SB’s are tired of the old ugly SD’s on the site. Maybe the younger less affluent SD’s are what they need.

    My work is done here.

  240. NC Gent says:

    Wow — some old faces — hey Steamy and Midwest! I went to a concert last night Midwest – thought of you believe it or not!

    I may regret jumping into this fray, but I know several SDs who have never seen an escort. I have never seen one either, but I am not judging those who do. It just isn’t for me.

    I also agree that the quality on the site has dropped dramatically over the last few years. I attribute the decline to several things. I think the mass marketing PR brought quite a few people on both sides of the sugar bowl who didn’t understand what a true sugar relationship is… combine this with the site doing a poor job of policing escorts, johns, pervs and sketchy people on the site, and you have a perfect storm for poor quality emerging. Another contributing factor was the attention the site received from another web site that is popular with college students and younger people…. thedirty dot com made quite a few posts (and even printed some SB profiles on their site) about women on SA — they call SBs “porta-potties.” The attention on thedirty had two effects…. it brought a lot of younger “fake” SDs (30k millionaires) and it caused a lot of the younger high quality potential SBs (college students – not saying college students are the only high quality SBs though) to leave the site for fear they would end up being posted on “thedirty.” To me, the quality of SBs was the highest shortly after the NY Times article posted and there has been a steady decline. Talking to people on the site, the decline has been on both sides of the sugar bowl, which is not surprising. ** Rant Over **

  241. lil_tm says:

    “Coconut moonshine to be provided prior to inspection.”

    I’ll have you know I found a song about coconut moonshine yesterday. 😉

    “Noob_SD’s profile of the day … :) Just when you though you had seen it all”

    I’m not surprised at this profile. Boys have been smelling panties since they started getting woodies. :p
    P.S. What happened to Noob Saibot? Smeagol can be endearing, as ugly as he is, but he can’t teleport. :(

  242. SugarySpicey says:

    Cunny – don’t let SoftiBastard ruin our sexy time. 😉

  243. CaptainSD says:

    @ILoveWestCoastGirl

    My understanding is that there have now been two national elections in Iraq with high numbers of voter turn outs so it would seem the iraqi people are taking advantage of their democratic rights.

    On a simpler level if I walk down the street and see someone beating up a woman should I help her out even though she did not ask for it?

  244. I LoveWestCoastGirl says:

    “I was not only fighting for Ken. From this day forward I pledge to fight for the oppresed SD’s everywhere. From this day forward I will be known as

    CaptainSD”

    is not it Logical ! to fight for people (“oppressed SDs”) who asked you to fight for ? (or at least your friends , family ?) .
    next thing I know you are fighting for democracy for Iraque people.

  245. Flyer says:

    @midwest. -of course you are

    You even sent unseasonable weather out here. But a beautiful evening to watch the sun go down in shirt sleeves

  246. Principium says:

    @ Spicey: I blame my son FBSD for arguing with his daddy, and keeping him away from the fun stuff 😉

  247. Principium says:

    @FBaby 😉

    Of course one can do almost anything in Las Vegas for the right amount of $. Maybe your pimp hand is stronger than that of those whom you pulled strings for. The thing about the 2K stated Vegas price is that most of the escorts who make cameo appearances in there charge about a 1/3 less in their domicile cities! There is always a Vegas premium and people gladly pay it and providers gladly take it. Note that places like the Moonlight Bunny Ranch (not in Clark County but in Pahrump which is uncorporated) and similar employ the fugliest bunch of prostitutes, yet they charge exorbitant amounts because people pay those sums!

    Regarding Ken: Yes, I ma quite amazing and then some because I have pretty good deducting reasoning and I saw plenty of code words in there to recognize that guy as a low end john who was arbitrarily throwing some numbers around based on SA’s allowance matrix. I have come to the conclusion that anyone who says, “3K is not a problem or any of its variations” what means in actuality is that the sum is a PROBLEM. If there is not problem, the proper way of addressing is: DONE and NO, if not in agreement!

    I also have man (boob) love for you and I do enjoy your dark side and the dark triad characteristics which you have associated with your FBSD moniker. However, I am of the opinion that having been around fellas who have fooled around with prostitutes while on Vegas business trips does not give you a full perspective as someone who played the TER game and got pretty good at learning that whole sub-culture. There are johns who have been roaming Craigs List (formerly) and Backpage for years and they still do not know sh*t! I just happen to have an enormous appetite and curiosity for such sub-cultures and my addictive personality drags me into such. Not too dissimilar to my own stints on SA and even on this blog 😉

    P.S. No longer an SD, just a pedestrian observer!

  248. CaptainSD says:

    @ILoveWestCoastGirl

    I assume you are Russian or Eastern European. At first I though you were drinking the same stuff flyr does which is why I could not understand your posts.

    Your SD came to your date wearing high heels? Is this normal where you are from?

  249. I LoveWestCoastGirl says:

    @content .

    I dated a few (I think 5 guys IRL ) with 1 had sex 1 time. other guys were not worthy my attention , energy;
    did not make me feel like a desirable woman (aka were cheap and strange, aka “young , successful , unfuckable ” ).

    then… RussianSB asked me to check out her profile , I logged in and saw new faces/profiles at SA – surprisely Local guys , accidentally .
    one is my friend now. (no sugar , I knew he is not a sugar daddy material – came to our first date in running shoes and Columbia jacket , f… he took me to French place; was fun, whatever).

    another one – a great ! sugar daddy, BF, husband material .
    came to our drink date with professional hair styling, Roberto Cavalli blouse , high heels.

  250. SugarySpicey says:

    One can only wish Princi, just work. So tired, I need someone to rub me down and tuck me in. 😉

  251. FatBastardSD says:

    @ContentSB

    I don’t put down non exclusive arrangements at all. I just think it’s dumb when SB’s who think having multiple SD’s is normal attack a guy like Ken.

    I was not only fighting for Ken. From this day forward I pledge to fight for the oppresed SD’s everywhere. From this day forward I will be known as

    CaptainSD

  252. Principium says:

    Hey Nicey Pricey Spicey! Where you’ve been hiding lately? I thought that we had lost you to “medicine” 😉

  253. FatBastardSD says:

    @Principium,

    Right I can get an escort to sleep with me in vegas for less than $2K and without references. I have set this up for others so I know I don’t need to ask you.

    While I am not a rich man I have had to negotiate from time to time and I don’t remember complaining about the SB negotiating process.

    Reading the post again Ken stated that he would never pay a $3000/month allowance without knowing how the SB was in bed or the frequency. He never said $3000/month was never possible. How you deduced that he was a low end john looking for bareback from that is quite amazing.

    Last but not least one of my favorite lines from a movie:

    ” I am not your son.” :-)

    P.S. I still love you man and may the dark sideof the force be with you darth sugerdaddy!

  254. ContentSB says:

    @ILWCG — I know what you mean! It seems like a lot has changed even in the year and a half I’ve been checking out the blog. SA isn’t what it used to be :(

  255. I LoveWestCoastGirl says:

    Content.
    you know I like to share my real experience and my real stories (as we all anonymous here ) .

    what is the point to make up stories and then ask advice / other people opinions ?

    I do share personal details and writing the truth.
    but… so many trolls and make up stories …
    It is discouraging to share anything . :(

  256. ContentSB says:

    ILWCG doesn’t need a welcome to the blog…she’s definitely one of the aforementioned “icons” :)

    How are you two doing?? Any new fun sugary adventures or worthwhile men IRL?

  257. ContentSB says:

    @FBSD — I think you can absolutely find exclusivity on SA! If you’re not looking for that though, why are you being so hard on non-exclusive arrangements, when ultimately that’s what you want anyway??

  258. I LoveWestCoastGirl says:

    Except.
    my gravatar is crazy sexy.
    or only naked boobs/legs you consider sexy.

  259. SugarySpicey says:

    Princi – you sorta lubricated my limbics there!

  260. I LoveWestCoastGirl says:

    FatB.
    sure, welcome to the blog.

    I do not care for feelings or sycophants – I care about the truth and fairness.
    nor do I care to please anyone with a sexy gravatar.

    I was thinking to change my nick name to “unforgettable”
    so people with a “logic ” and no feeling, no memory would remember me.

  261. FatBastardSD says:

    @ContentSB

    I will avoid giving personal details but to answer your question, I am not looking for a GF or exclusivity. On the flip side I have no interest in mentoring a SB.

    Can you find a GF or exclusive arrangement on SA? I think the chances are very small, not enough SB’s on the site who are looking for it.

  262. Principium says:

    @ FBSD: if one propositions a prostitute in a Las Vegas hotel’s bar (or vice versa) no references are required. You are however taking on the risk that she could be an undercover vice officer or a flipped prostitute working for Uncle LEO.

    However if you seek a provider through EROS, City Vibe, TER and multiple other similar sites, then the answer would be that screening and references will most likely be required. Prostitution is illegal in Clark County, NV; so the fact that it is in Las Vegas does not circumvent the requirement for references. Higher end escorts either require references or some may accept TER Whilelisted members, P411 and similar.

    Now, if you call the “escort” services using the hotel room’s other bible (aka Yellow Pages) that could be an entirely different scenario, because the girl who those services send to you appears in your room under the guise of an “entertainer” and once they feel safe that you are not a vice cop, then the upselling routine starts.

    If you do not enjoy the SD/SB negotiating process, I am highly doubtful that you’d enjoy negotiating with someone on the phone to secure the “entertainer’s” initial rate plus the amount of heavy upselling which will ensue thereafter if you are looking for intercourse. “Professional” hobbyist never choose the first or the third method and they will only see well reviewed providers. Furthermore, they do not merely rely on provider reviews as quite a lot of them are artificially highly graded. Professional hobbyist will most often check with other trusted hobbyists through “back channels” and furthermore, they will most likely NEVER entertain the idea of playing the sugar game. That is why it was my humble opinion that this Ken character was a low end john probably looking for bareback and multiple pops, for around Backpage rates.

    Look Son, just don’t argue with me on this as I know my sh*t 😉

  263. FatBastardSD says:

    @ILoveWestCoastGirl

    I know women rely more on feelings than logic so I will answer your question :-).

    A man with a GF or wife who has sex with other women for money would be an escort.

    Welcome to the blog. Remember a sexy gravatar with increase your number of male sycophants on the blog:-).

  264. ContentSB says:

    @FBSD — Or at the very least an exclusive SB? Which isn’t an outrageous request if you’re giving her the same exclusivity.

  265. ContentSB says:

    @FBSD — So, you want a girlfriend? Are you married?

  266. FatBastardSD says:

    @ContentSB

    An Ideal Arrangement
    by FatBastardSD

    A situation where both the SB and SD are honest about what the arrangement really is.

    The alternative is a situation where sleeping with other people shows the one you love how much you care :-).

  267. I LoveWestCoastGirl says:

    @FatB

    “A SB who has a BF or other SD’s on the side is functionally equivalent to the escorts and strippers that Ken describes. You can all blather on about respect, connection or invent some other idiotic justification but everyone knows what it is (including the SD’s).”

    Many married guys have mistresses and sometimes they have “flings” with their secretaries /co-workers…
    And only SBs must be loyal and monogamous.
    if a man has a wife, or a GF and may be sometimes has sex on a side – does it make him an escort – according to your “functional equivalent ” theory.

    Exclusivity .
    I think a guy has to ask you to be exclusive and if you promised it , then be exclusive.

    in 604 case.
    If a SD asked for exclusivity and ! you started a relationship (he made a monthly financial contribution ) and a SB still at the site agrees for P4P with “other” guys – she is a pro and greedy .

    In your case u were considering 4 other options , and the girls were doing exactly the same.
    why different standards . ? it would be sexism. :)

    Hi Content and Midwest . !

  268. Midwest SB says:

    Hi ContentSB! ..and ILWCG. Miss your wit.

    FBSD – Hi. In a way, we agree. The emotions have to do with the fantasy and the fantasy is what is kept separate from real life. I know emotions cannot be turned off/on…especially for the gentlemen who take being an SD to a compassionate level. It’s just a safety net. Things get through sometimes.

  269. SugarySpicey says:

    *Puts fists on cheeks, waits for Softi’s answer to Content….

  270. ContentSB says:

    @FBSD — I have a feeling I’m going to regret asking this…but here I go anyway. What is your ideal arrangement?

  271. FatBastardSD says:

    @Principium

    So you are telling me a Las Vegas escort will require $2K per hour but will only have sex if I give her the proper references?

    @lil_tm

    I guess the honeymoon is over between us :-). You can be a gold digger or an escort. The SB you describe is no different than an escort and would get along very well with the Ken’s of the SA world.

    @MidwestSB

    I like your definition but people cannot turn emotions on and off like a switch. NSA emotions have nothing to do with the other person and everything to do with the fantasy itself. An analogy is those people who are in love with being in love.

  272. ContentSB says:

    I love how the old NSA/escort vs. SB debate brings out some wonderful familiar faces! Hi Midwest and ILWCG!

  273. I LoveWestCoastGirl says:

    Anyway, from Ken’s up post:

    “So far I dated 5 girls. From beginning, I was very honest and specific in what I’m looking for (exclusive relationship). At the same time, I used alternative profile to check my “exclusive” sugar babies (best investment!!!). The first one was ready to P4P for $800. The second one was 30 instead of 21, so haven’t check her. The 3rd one decided she wants “friends only” relationship, after 5 expensive dates. My #4 asked for $5000 monthly allowance but when I used my second profile, she was ready to do blowjob for $100, or to be with 3 guys at the same time without condoms for $1000. The #5 asked for exclusive $3500 relationship, at the same time she was ready for $300 P4P.

    As I said, my profile is very specific. Also when they meet me I don’t look cheap. (Maybe I should change my appearance and rent cheap car when dating.) So I guess girls know how to adjust their story. That doesn’t prevent some of them to offer P4P to anybody ready to pay them.

    I’m sure there are many great girls at SA, but I simply have no luck finding local SB.”

    I think this is hilarious . :)

  274. Midwest SB says:

    I’m not worthy! LOLOLOL I will add “icon” to my resume’. Thank you darlin’.

    I bet wine country is gorgeous from above right now!

  275. flyr says:

    Must be magic…………….. lament the disappearance of some of the traditional, classy SB icons of last year and out of the cake pops

    MIDWEST yea !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  276. Midwest SB says:

    Sounds like they watch too much crime television. I forget what show, but there was an entrepreneur who sold used panties. There’s something for everyone. Guess they are going for the Wal-mart approach.

  277. Noob_SD says:

    Noob_SD’s profile of the day … :) Just when you though you had seen it all ….

    Summary: Panty lovers?

    Description: I am fairly tall (5’9″), with a green eyes, fair skin, and a big wavy head of red hair – a true Irish gal! I’m pretty curvaceous, but proportionate. I’ve been told a number of times that I have an “old Hollywood” body type – curves in all the right places!

    My friend, Josie, and I are looking to sell our used panties to any interested party :)
    Josie is 5’7″, slim build with shorter, dark brown hair, big brown eyes, and a milky complexion.

    Arrangement I am Seeking

    I’m Seeking: Sugar Daddy AND Sugar Mommy
    I Expect: Less than US$1,000 monthly
    Description: We are looking for those interested in used women’s panties! We have a variety of styles and colors available, and are extremely open to taking requests! Josie is a size S and M, and I wear an L (big booty!), so we can accommodate different tastes :) We also have used pantyhose, thigh highes, and bras we are willing to part with.

  278. Midwest SB says:

    Hey steamsugar! Used to be Red Maru? Nice to see you again. How is the world treating you? Writing still?

  279. SteamSugar says:

    I second what Midwest said

  280. Midwest SB says:

    Heyyyyy sugars! Hope everyone is well! Things here are domestically sweet <3

    As for the topic…

    I always believed that NSA means that you have your "sugar world" and your "real world"…they don't cross. Therefore, any emotions, choices, etc shared during sugar really shouldn't cross over into your real life and vice versa. The sugar world is meant for fantasies, having the companionship you want (but can't necessarily have), reaching goals you couldn't necessarily do on your own, and inviting it into your real life leads to possible drama, and shades of gray about relationships, finances, etc. NSA is the safety net that allows us to truly enjoy sugar for what it's meant to be.

  281. Dashel says:

    “I understand they’re one of my best assets. “

    I believe you but I’ll need to do a personal inventory to render my judgment on said gams. Its policy you understand. Coconut moonshine to be provided prior to inspection.

  282. SteamSugar says:

    Greetings fellow sugars! Been a long time since I been to the blog. How is everybody tonight?

  283. lil_tm says:

    “@lil_tm nice legs”

    Thanks dimples. 😉
    I understand they’re one of my best assets. Who said you have to be tall to have nice gams??

  284. Dashel says:

    @lil_tm nice legs

    As for the Escort to SB I agree with flyr that it’s a spectrum. Although it is an interesting topic, can you have multiple sincere relationships simultaneously? A mistress or lover on the side is hardly rare. Neither is a person dating several people casually at the same time.

  285. Principium says:

    @ FBSD: Call my facts “blathering” all you want. Either you have “Hobbyed (John’ed or whatever colorful term)” or you have not! If you have, then you’ll know first hand that what I write about it are factual. If you have not and listen to others’ tales, then you simply are not as informed as I am.

  286. lil_tm says:

    “The problem is that we cannot agree what a john/escort is.”

    It’s pretty simple to understand. A man and a woman get together and have sex in exchange for money.
    They don’t know each other, nor do they care to. Fake names, no conversation with depth and no obligation to each other in any way other than the woman giving her body and the man paying for it.

    I just learned that a SB with a BF and/or multiple SD’s does not an escort make. Perhaps we all need to expand our horizons and SB’s should realize a guy who visits strippers and talks about pops might be a great SD.”

    A sugarbaby having multiple SDs(and probably STD’s, but that’s besides the point) and/or multiple boyfriends does not make her an escort.
    She can be a sugar baby AND an escort, though.
    Also, if a SD is married and has a SB, the sugar baby has the right to have a SD and have a boyfriend. Some people are okay with open relationships. It’s not for me, but it’s definitely out there.

  287. FatBastardSD says:

    @lil_tm

    The problem is that we cannot agree what a john/escort is. I just learned that a SB with a BF and/or multiple SD’s does not an escort make. Perhaps we all need to expand our horizons and SB’s should realize a guy who visits strippers and talks about pops might be a great SD.

  288. Noob_SD says:

    @flyr featured “verified” SB Funny you mention that … I have the habit of clicking through the featured profiles … I have run across that profile many times. Agreed that she may not be the typical college SB, but I like that profile – in that she is upfront about what she does. Pretty high expectations though.

  289. lil_tm says:

    “There is nothing rude in what Ken wrote.”

    I’m not offended, but I do wish people looking for escorts/johns would go elsewhere.

  290. FatBastardSD says:

    @DianaSBinOC

    Oh, I forgot to ask, how many people have you blocked today? 😛

  291. FatBastardSD says:

    @Sweetie, Principium, DianaSBinOC,flyr,

    A SB who has a BF or other SD’s on the side is functionally equivalent to the escorts and strippers that Ken describes. You can all blather on about respect, connection or invent some other idiotic justification but everyone knows what it is (including the SD’s).

    In other news, the Easter Bunny is not real either…have a nice day :-). Sorry could not resist the smiley.

  292. flyr says:

    For about the last month I have noticed that in the featured “verified” sb photos that popup with the signin there’s one that seems to be frequently featured. Distinctive “periwinkle ” bikini . Also frequently in the featured pictures . For giggles I clicked on her profile –

    Location Vegas,

    Occupation Adult actress and model

    So much for maintenance of the public image.

    I really understand the angst of so many SB’s who remember the site before it went on its PR binge. Probably 90% of the SB’s fell into the true SB category vs
    perhaps 1/3 today.

  293. DianaSBinOC says:

    I surely missed alot over a few days. So a john entered the blog. How entertaining.

    The funny thing from my conversations with SD’s on the site , there hasn’t been one man that I’ve spoken to that hasn’t been paying for sex either from the strip club extras girl , escort or p4p sugar scort.

    Nothing new and not sure why anyone would brag about sleeping with a woman that sleeps with men that have the same amount of cash in their hand. Usually no more than $100-$200. Wow living the life there eh?lol

    Also why is a guy worried about his SB having a bf. I see Fatty posting this over and over again? Don’t some of your stripper extras girls have bfs or gfs too or does the string of men they see in a night not count?

    ““A woman who is maybe sleeping with her boyfriend or another SD has no more respect for her SD than a stripper or escort who pretends for 5 minutes or one hour.””

    “I think it’s a matter of expectations …………………….”

    I agree here. An escort and stripper are both selling a fantasy. The guy that’s purchasing is not getting a real name or real emotional connection but a fake one. He’s paying someone to overlook his visual appearance for an hour or less of sex. I think we can respect that they’ve both entered into this agreement and respect the rules of that type of play. He’s paying essentially for ego stroking which is why he goes around telling everyone “hey I banged a stripper”. Had this happened in 1995 you would have gotten a bigger wow. Now? It’s better you keep those details to yourself. They aren’t giving out medals for doing that these days.

  294. flyr says:

    @FB “@flyr

    Cases C-J don’t sound so bad when you itemize them that way, unless you are talking about a stripper, which would be gross .”

    I think you can go much deeper down the list and still be in sugarland.

    My enthusiasm starts to decline rapidly with innocent serious BF/Husband in the background and disappears with frequent clubbing.

    Lots of SB’s, especially younger ones, have a BF of convenience.

  295. sweetie says:

    @—;-

  296. sweetie says:

    Bastardito “I am using too many smiley faces in my posts. I need to mix it up, anyone have any emoticon tips for me?”

    How unlike you, right? Normally you’re screaming and kicking… Bastardito, the bull.
    [img]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CGTVRbpAuRo[img]

    “Four posts in a row. Looks like I am the only one not working today.”
    There, I joined you so you don’t feel so lonely anymore. Bastardito needs some sweet lovin’…

  297. Principium says:

    @ FBSD:

    The issue with Ken’s approach is that he is seemingly employing the exact same techniques which he uses in strip clubs and the escort field, to this paradigm to. Now to some SDs (and somewhat lesser extent SBs) these are all part of the same continuum. Some SDs & SBs take a major issue with this argument and some (I presume that you are in the latter category) do not believe that there is a great degree of separation and much over lapping. I personally lean toward the former, although I am all but done with sugaring on SA and similar sites.

    I do not have much experience with strippers, although I have “fooled around” with a couple of strippers in the past, but outside f strip clubs and away from the client/dancer connections.

    I am self- professed however with having Hobby experience. You also stated that you are experienced in that field, but only by proxy (you admitted being around friends & business associates who hobby). It seems to me that you are intrinsically or extrinsically applying the same findings to this method.

    For the sake of being repetitious, escorts/providers (whether managed or indy) run a business and its degree of sophistication depends on their “business model” As you may be very well aware, there are “providers” who charge 2K per hour and a minimum booking of 2 hours is required. These types of providers simply scoff at someone who wants to exclusively retain their services at an annual figure of 100K (whether or not that actually comes to be serious is another subject for discussion interpretation, but I do wager that there are nut jobs who both offer those sums and there are those who also casually dismiss such serious offers which obviously is not merely based on the figure but also loss of some liberties and socioeconomic freedom)

    Most professional providers require strict screening for newbies and a newbie must pay his dues and earn his stripes before any high end escort agrees to provide for him. This often means visiting with some lower end escorts with much lighter screening process and/or subscribing with escort verification services, if one is trying to visit high end national providers (most do not accept feedback from local and small time escorts, plus low end escorts are extremely flaky when it comes to give out references and can also flip very easily to become Law Enforcement collaborators)

    Escorts & providers for most parts demand covered intercourse, even though they offer a much more extensive “menu” as compared to SBs. I believe that many Hobbyists who also troll the SD/SB field to complement their “appetite” wish to fast track many escort world “do’s & don’ts” plus get more bang (pun intended: for their bucks! Plain and simple!

    My own determination is that neither method has met up my own (perhaps very lofty) expectations as I am more of a must see and then react type of person (I am very visual and shallow in this way) Therefore I am resigned to perhaps long er periods of famine followed by a proper feast. I’m channeling my inner “Lion” these days 😉

    Good luck guys & gals :)

  298. sweetie says:

    Bastardito “I am glad that you are of the opinion that your BF/Husband fucking another women is a sign of respect towards yourself, the men in your life must be very happy :)”

    Yeah… why was I expecting a different response from you?! That’s quite a stretch and if that’s what you got out of my post, so be it.

    This is for you, Bastardito! :)
    [img]http://www.nhviewfinders.com/flowers/pretty-flower-makes-my-day/[img]

  299. FatBastardSD says:

    @Spicey,

    Which two profiles and meeting are you refering to?

    Four posts in a row. Looks like I am the only one not working today.

  300. FatBastardSD says:

    I am using too many smiley faces in my posts. I need to mix it up, anyone have any emoticon tips for me?

  301. FatBastardSD says:

    All of the older guys will remember the li ee where the woman asks if you will respect her in the morning after you sleep with her. We have a new answer now

    “Of course I will, if fact I plan on sleeping with another woman just to prove it to you”

    :-).

    You were right all along Principium, you can learn a lot of valuable relationship advice from women. :-).

  302. FatBastardSD says:

    @ You are absolutly correct. If you really wanted to respect your SD not only would you have a BF on the side but you would make videos of you having sex with your BF for your SD as well. Make sure you don’t have sex with your BF 15 minutes before seeing your SD though, you are not a stripper. A real SB wouls wait at least one hour :-).

    And the SB’s wonder why there are no real SD’s on the site anymore. It must ne the fault of the escorts :-).

  303. ContentSB says:

    @FBSD — We’re not talking about traditional relationships….we’re talking about NSA sugar.

  304. FatBastardSD says:

    It seems the consenus is thar I am a cynical bastard. If a SB can convince her SD that having sex with other men is sign of respect then more power to her, she has reached SB nirvana. Men who are wealthy and stupid enough to believe this crap usually have somone controlling thier money for them so it is a rare find indeed. :-).

  305. FatBastardSD says:

    @ContentSB

    I guess I am old fashioned. I would love to be a fly on the wall when you introduce your BF to your family.

    “Mom he really treats me with respect, he even sleft with another woman last week to show how much he cares.” :-).

    @flyr

    Cases C-J don’t sound so bad when you itemize them that way, unless you are talking about a stripper, which would be gross :-).

  306. flyr says:

    “I became a skeptic in evey SB’s eyes when I decided I was not going to pay $5K/month for a platonic freindship or activity partner so that ship has sailed”

    My guess is that 95% of the SB’s here would recommend you keep your sugar dry until the magic happens. They suffer too when SD’s have experiences such as you describe.

    Over perhaps 10 years I have advanced funds a few times. Probably in two out of three cases it killed the relationship, but in a couple of cases it was a catalyst that made awesome things happen.

    Sometimes a demonstration of trust resonates with a potential SB and other times it simply puts the STUPID tag on your back. Part is thinking with the big head and part is pure luck.

  307. MicahSB says:

    @BeachGirl! You are in my hometown!!! It’s the first time I miss F1 in a few years! Hope
    You had a blast! Heard it was pretty grey out …

  308. SugarySpicey says:

    Softi – what SB on this blog has ever wanted $5K to be a platonic friend while having sex with our boyfriend on the side? It appears your cynicism is based on a data set of two profiles and a meeting – not the actual proof in front of your face.

  309. flyr says:

    continued

    We don’t always get what we want ,
    more frequently we get what we deserve…………..

  310. flyr says:

    ““A woman who is maybe sleeping with her boyfriend or another SD has no more respect for her SD than a stripper or escort who pretends for 5 minutes or one hour.””

    I think it’s a matter of expectations …………………….

    From fantasy to nightmare

    A- She sneaks out of the convent once a week only to see you

    A2 – She’s all yours but she expects you to be there emotionally, physically, economically (this can be A+++ if there’s a great connection)

    B – She has a live in girlfriend – you fill a different role but your oral game needs to be Wimbledon center court level

    C- She’s not seeing anyone else , well on occasion she falls off the wagon at last call

    D She has a male roommate and they have occasional sex just to tamp down the hormones when you have not done the job physically or emotionally

    E She doesn’t have a boyfriend but would like to find one and tests the market or she has another SD

    F. She’s a college student, or just out of college, you’re her only SD she dates others

    G. She’s a single mother with one SD. She’s learned that they are perishable so she’s continually interviewing more and occasionally goes on a test drive.

    H. She’s not looking for a BF but she and her girlfriends go the Hollywood Clubs a couple nights a week and never have to stand in line , often get offered a line or two in the back room and party late.

    I. P4P on demand

    J She seemed really nice but a google search turned up her backpage ads in 10 cities and 250 reviews on TER.

  311. ContentSB says:

    @FBSD — It sounds like we’ve had different experiences in sugar…we can certainly have differing opinions, and while I think you’re very cynical, I don’t think that automatically makes my point of view “bullshit.”

    Have a nice day, sir! 😉

  312. FatBastardSD says:

    @sweetie

    I became a skeptic in evey SB’s eyes when I decided I was not going to pay $5K/month for a platonic freindship or activity partner so that ship has sailed :-).

    I am glad that you are of the opinion that your BF/Husband fucking another women is a sign of respect towards yourself, the men in your life must be very happy :-).

  313. sweetie says:

    Bastardito – “In mine caring about a SB who has a boyfriend or another SD makes you a complete idiot not a SD.”

    I look at it as somebody who is married or in a steady relationship having an affair on the side, and who is happy with both of them and doesn’t want either to end. Yes, there are plenty of cases like that on SA (I’ve read many profiles from SDs and SBs being married and openly looking), just as there are plenty single ones looking for exclusivity…

    “A woman who is maybe sleeping with her boyfriend or another SD has no more respect for her SD than a stripper or escort who pretends for 5 minutes or one hour.”

    Why do you think a SB with a boyfriend (or another SD) does not respect her (other) SD? I believe everybody should be respected in the arrangement. If they’re not, then things need to be addressed and reassessed accordingly.

    Bastardito, why are you so cynical/skeptical about the whole SD/SB relationship? Have you had many/mostly bad experiences?

    Sweet dreams, mi Bastardito querido! :)

  314. FatBastardSD says:

    @ContentSB

    You know I don’t like to be rude but this quote

    “An SB will likely only being sleeping with you, and *maybe* (depending on the girl) one other guy…maybe a boyfriend, or another SD. A SB will show you loyalty and respect….a stripper will pretend to for those brief 5 minutes she’s with you. An allowance for a SB isn’t solely about sex. It’s about helping her achieve goals and giving her experiences she might not otherwise have because YOU GENUINELY CARE ABOUT HER.”

    but this quote is bullshit. A woman who is maybe sleeping with her boyfriend or another SD has no more respect for her SD than a stripper or escort who pretends for 5 minutes or one hour. Every SD on the site knows what percentage of SB’s will in fact be sleeping with other SD’s or a boyfriend.

    Everyone has thier own point of view. In mine caring about a SB who has a boyfriend or another SD makes you a complete idiot not a SD.

  315. Beach_Girl says:

    Content~ hahahah maybe… I just didn’t let it get to me this time lol 😀 but I totally understand!

  316. ContentSB says:

    @Beach — Sometimes I just can’t help myself…I must have poor self-control or something :p

  317. Beach_Girl says:

    Dashel~ things are going 😀 Thanks, how are thing going for you?

    ContentSB~ don’t engage the troll….don’t engage the troll…don’t engage the troll hahahah hilarious!

  318. flyr says:

    @estella – sorry it happened …… agree with your logic…..

  319. estella says:

    Hey

    Sweetie- thanks, I’m not going to entertain him again if he contacts me. He had his chance and he blew it!

    Dashel- I mean I was attracted to him but standing someone up and not even apologising for it makes him ugly to me now. He was very charming though

  320. Dashel says:

    Hey there Beach Girl, how are things going for you :)

    @ estella sorry he didnt show. You mentioned you’d sleep with him anyway but based on what? Purely looks or was he very charming also and just flaked out at the end?

    When you say looking for consistency I dont think it’s easy. I try to stay open minded and read as best I can but you really dont know until you meet. Even then it’s only easier to read not perfect vision of the person.

  321. ContentSB says:

    *don’t engage the troll….don’t engage the troll…don’t engage the troll…*

    Screw it. I’m doing it.

    Ken, you care more about immediate physical gratification (read: blowing your load) than having any sort of connection with another human. So, the stripper thing seems to work well for you…I suppose if that’s your thing, and if there are girls out there willing to lend you a helping hand, mouth, whatever, then rock on! However, as others have said, that’s not what a SB is. You clearly don’t care if the chick who just got you off serviced another dude 15 minutes prior to you. Personally, I think that’s gross…but really, who am I to judge? An SB will likely only being sleeping with you, and *maybe* (depending on the girl) one other guy…maybe a boyfriend, or another SD. A SB will show you loyalty and respect….a stripper will pretend to for those brief 5 minutes she’s with you. An allowance for a SB isn’t solely about sex. It’s about helping her achieve goals and giving her experiences she might not otherwise have because YOU GENUINELY CARE ABOUT HER.

    You’re not a SD.

  322. sweetie says:

    Bastardito ” How much money have any of you EVER given to someone you just met in order to be friends or mentor them?”

    Ken never mentioned anything about mentoring, however he was plenty clear about his part of the deal. Sorry, he’s not an SD, although he thinks he is. I wish Bastardito would start thinking about the SD/SB relationship not as paying for sex, but as providing help to a lady he cares about because that’s the kind of gentleman he is. :)

    @Estella
    Sorry he never showed up. Chin up and be patient in the meantime, there are better apples out there. And next time you meet a potential SD, as Flyr recommended : “Assure him that you are comfortable getting to know eachother and you do not expect anything before” we” make the decision that this is what we want to proceed.

    With a prolonged start it’s easy to forget that sugar is the foundation. You want a shared “house of affection” but it only works with a foundation.”
    True that!

  323. flyr says:

    @sweetie “Don’t sleep with him right away, you said you would, anyway… just take your time and see how you like him in person. Let him woo you, as per Spicey’s recommendation. Hopefully, your potential SD is actually SD material and will know how to approach the meeting and make you feel at ease.””

    I would add a small friendly amendment – to make sure that sugar is kept on the table , but , perhaps in a positive way.

    Assure him that you are comfortable getting to know eachother and you do not expect anything before” we” make the decision that this is what we want to proceed.

    With a prolonged start it’s easy to forget that sugar is the foundation. You want a shared “house of affection” but it only works with a foundation.

  324. Beach_Girl says:

    Flyr~ yep, it does work both ways, it is easy to find sex, but to find a real arrangement?!?! no so easy

  325. flyr says:

    “”Does not sound like he is bragging at all just stating a fact. You can also find P4P on SA for $300.z”’

    But if you want sexy, intelligence, sensuality and character in one package you’ll have to look a little harder (from being on and off the site for a number of years) . It’s tougher to find a great woman than simple sex and I’m pretty sure it works both ways.

  326. Beach_Girl says:

    I agree that Ken is looking for more of an escort.

    We have all the good SDs gone?

  327. Beach_Girl says:

    FBSD~ Why yes, I am in Montreal 😀

  328. SugarySpicey says:

    SBs wouldn’t have a “how many pops” agreement, as they aren’t selling sex. It’s a mutually beneficial situation so “pops” would be based on mutual pleasure and interest in any given situation.

    Ken is “RUDE” in talking to us ladies on the blog like SBs are a come-dumpster that he’s trying to determine how many times he gets to fill.

  329. Dashel says:

    There is nothing rude in what Ken wrote. Was he sopposed to give $3K without knowing how often they would meet or if they would be intimate?

    @FB No but he’s asking about how they perform and “how many pops”. That’s simply putting an escort on retainer, different from my image of what an SB is. He wants escorts, which there is no shortage in supply.

    As for the 3k, sometimes people make offers they expect to be declined.

  330. estella says:

    Sweetie

    Thanks, but he never showed. I’m finding it hard to pinpoint any real consistency if I’m honest!

  331. FatBastardSD says:

    Does not sound like he is bragging at all just stating a fact. You can also find P4P on SA for $300.

  332. Dashel says:

    Suit yourself on what you want to call it but the SA gals are in competetion with strippers and providers.

    Strippers and pro’s are In competition for your dollars sure, but not “SA gals”. They are in competition with the escorts and P4P girls on SA. I think it just makes you feel better to claim they’re all the same.

    As a SC ViP I have had strippers itc (inside the club for $100-200 a session).

    This comes off as bragging. How hard is it to be a strip club VIP? I suspect I could be a VIP if I had the 200 bucks.

  333. FatBastardSD says:

    @Beach Girl

    The F1 race! Do you live in Montreal?

  334. FatBastardSD says:

    There is nothing rude in what Ken wrote. Was he sopposed to give $3K without knowing how often they would meet or if they would be intimate?

    Let’s take a SB poll. How much money have any of you EVER given to someone you just met in order to be friends or mentor them?

    Regarding the “know it when I see it quote”. How the fuck did this become the benchmark for an intelligent answer.

    “I ruled this way because I wanted to.” would have been equivalent but I guess it does not sound as brilliant somehow.

  335. Beach_Girl says:

    Sweetie~ Hey girl, Have a safe trip 😀

  336. sweetie says:

    @Beach_Girl

    Hello, BG! How are you?
    Flying to Chicago tomorrow, yeay!!!!

  337. sweetie says:

    Hehehe, I know the song, I guess I don’t pay attention to the lyrics… Had no idea they had spanish in there!!!

  338. Noob_SD says:

    Here’s a version of the song with lyrics . The clash “Should I stay or should I go”

    [img]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sIXLHtg2Btk[/img]

  339. Noob_SD says:

    @ sweetie

    Sorry sweetie. No, I do not speak Spanish. That’s part of a song “Should I stay or should I go” by Clash …

    I have high hopes for Noob Saibot …. :)

  340. sweetie says:

    Noob “Yes, Viking and then Noob Saibot”

    Yes, Viking first, though. Not sure about Noob Saibot, he’s kinda scary…

  341. sweetie says:

    Noob, tu hablas espanol?
    Como asi y porque no me dijiste antes?

  342. Noob_SD says:

    @ Sweetie

    Yes, Viking and then Noob Saibot

    This indecision’s bugging me (esta indecision me molesta)
    If you don’t want me, set me free (si no me quieres, librame)
    Exactly whom I’m supposed to be (digame que tengo ser)
    Don’t you know which clothes even fit me? (no sabes que ropas me queda)

  343. sweetie says:

    Noob “What am I supposed to do?”

    I’d say stick to the Viking, my dear!

  344. lil_tm says:

    “@ Lil – moderated – perhaps it’s that mask that is scaring the moderator.”

    These are the times that try mens souls. 😉

  345. Noob_SD says:

    @ Sweetie You gotta knock at the right door, ya know?

    I’ve been knocking on a certain door here for
    a while, with roses in hand
    At first I was told the door
    was too small for me
    With endless fat jokes, then I was told
    that I have hair like a chia pet

    What am I supposed to do?

    Make up your own rhyme to that song …… :)

  346. SugarySpicey says:

    Softi – I am an SB who prefers things other than cash – we exist in all forms.

    Ken – you are a John, and you’re gross. Go find women on Backpage where you can bargain for the lowest price, this coming from a woman who usually believe that sugar goes two ways and should be exchanged reciprocally (he gives first, of course). But there is no universe where I am competing with strippers or need to take their costs and MO into consideration. Just as the Mercedes dealer doesn’t care what a KIA costs. I imagine you must be in the sub $1K group if you’re meeting with women who’d need to compete with the cost of ITC sex.

    Gentlemen – it’s men like Ken who turn SBs into flakes. Women create profiles with good intentions, but when they meet up with guys who behave so degradingly as Ken has described, that makes us become jaded and easily spooked.

  347. Principium says:

    I noticed that there were quite a few earlier moderated posts, so here is one courtesy of “604” for those who missed it. personally speaking, as a self-confessed former hobby addict, I have no interest in escorts, strippers who P4P (was never big on strip clubs) and also as of quite recently, lost almost all enthusiasm for any new SA sugar prospecting!

    Anyway, from Ken’s up post:

    “So far I dated 5 girls. From beginning, I was very honest and specific in what I’m looking for (exclusive relationship). At the same time, I used alternative profile to check my “exclusive” sugar babies (best investment!!!). The first one was ready to P4P for $800. The second one was 30 instead of 21, so haven’t check her. The 3rd one decided she wants “friends only” relationship, after 5 expensive dates. My #4 asked for $5000 monthly allowance but when I used my second profile, she was ready to do blowjob for $100, or to be with 3 guys at the same time without condoms for $1000. The #5 asked for exclusive $3500 relationship, at the same time she was ready for $300 P4P.

    As I said, my profile is very specific. Also when they meet me I don’t look cheap. (Maybe I should change my appearance and rent cheap car when dating.) So I guess girls know how to adjust their story. That doesn’t prevent some of them to offer P4P to anybody ready to pay them.

    I’m sure there are many great girls at SA, but I simply have no luck finding local SB.”

  348. flyR says:

    Might have been one too many reverse thong shots that send the masses fleeing for higher ground .

    Late in on the discussion – to me NSA is not about an absence of feelings, but rather with a shared understanding that there are shared boundaries on the expectation that the relationship will develop in some dimensions. There’s no single set of expectations.

    Yes it would be helpful if escorts and johns went elsewhere, not because they are evil but because it is not what supports the site , ditto for tire kickers looking for an ego boost, of both sexes.

    For me trying to define the line between sugar and prostitution is impossible , but as the wise chief justice noted – I know it when I see it. My not infallible checklist-
    Intimate pictures arrive quickly
    Information seeking seems focused on discovering any reasons not to meet
    rather than reasons why a relationship will work
    High focus on money
    Meet very soon and at non public place (my place , her place , hotel)
    Not willing to take no for an answer
    Pictures only their gynecologist would appreciate
    If met ( by mistake) focus on getting the job done ( however that’s defined)
    and out the door

    If pure SB’s and industrial debutantes are represented by colors ( pink to deep red) there’s no black separation line just different shades but you know when you are on the dark side. Not passing any moral judgement, but that’s not what I’m here to find.

    Both SD and SB’s have had the experience where what seemed OK prior to the first meeting suddenly deteriorated into a party asking for or offering immediate cash in exchange for sex…….. I try to be honest in the first meeting and if there ‘s nothing there I’ll just say that I enjoyed the meeting, she’s wonderful but not for me. One who had attracted a fair amount of attention on her entry (great display of cleavage and legs) and by talking a little loud reacted to the news and without missing a beat “I understand completely, it’s your decision, but can I give you a great blowjob in the parking lot – I need rent money”. There was a slight gasp from the table behind me. I waited about a month to return to the place to just sit at the bar and watch a game . The waitress came by, smiled – oh by the way you made the right decision………….

    Rather than NSA perhaps it should be SSA – some strings attached but within the parameters of the arrangement.

    Re Non Cash Allowance SB – They do exist but are few and far between unless you have something of greater value to offer (could be tangible in intangible) and the SB is not in dire need of cash. I have met some who were really looking for someone to let them experience things that they could not afford.

    @ Lil – moderated – perhaps it’s that mask that is scaring the moderator.

    NOTE TO MODERATOR – I believe there is a problem with the ” new advanced search ” if you put in a city name vs a zip code it appears to search the world.

  349. Beach_Girl says:

    Hello Sugars!!!

    F1 Baby! wooo… and the sun is shining! Finally 😀

    Ken~ I agree with Sweetie, You should stick with the strippers if that is working the way you want.

    Hope you all have a great Sunday

  350. sweetie says:

    Reviving Estella’s post that got buried among the comments:

    “Hey guys, I’m new. Just had a bit of a worry about meeting pot sd. I know it’s silly and I’m paranoid but how do you know they’ll keep up their end of the deal? A lot of people say not to put out until they pay up, but I would sleep with this guy anyway, how do I broach this with him? Any other advice would be great thanks!”

    Don’t sleep with him right away, you said you would, anyway… just take your time and see how you like him in person. Let him woo you, as per Spicey’s recommendation. Hopefully, your potential SD is actually SD material and will know how to approach the meeting and make you feel at ease.

  351. lil_tm says:

    I think I see why..I had an @Dashel comment and an @Noob comment with a youtube link, but I didn’t put the [img] mumbo jumbo?

    “You simply delete the message.”

    Agreed. I don’t understand why people play into and entertain things they want nothing to do with. Just ignore it.

    “It’s better if both escorts and Johns would go elsewhere for their trysts.”

    Wouldn’t it be so awesome if we could somehow make this happen??

  352. sweetie says:

    @Ken

    You sound like a John to me, trying to figure out how to get the best deal and of course, be serviced above everything else.
    If you like the stripping ladies and find them to perform for you, then keep it that way. Don’t go off on the SBs who want something else than you.
    About the potential SB who used to get $5000 and then suggested $3000 from you, why be rude about not being willing to provide that?!? Proves you’re not SD material, sorry!

    You gotta knock at the right door, ya know?

  353. lil_tm says:

    hmmm..that’s weird. One of my comments from last night is being moderated.

  354. Noob_SD says:

    @FB

    I don’t agree. It’s not scary, but aggravating. I DO have a problem with an escort passing herself as an SB. I have NO problem with an escort making it clear what their intentions are. A lot of times, or always, they don’t want to identify themselves as such on here, so the first message very seldom tells the story. This perpetuates: a) Escorts attract Johns, b) Johns scare away pot real SBs. It’s better if both escorts and Johns would go elsewhere for their trysts.

    Ego boost profiles: I agree with that …. These are the flake SBs. I have come across my share of them as well. And, yes, they are aggravating.

  355. FatBastardSD says:

    @Noob,

    I am not convinced that there is some huge problem with John’s or Escorts on the site, and I never understood what was so scary about getting a message from either. You simply delete the message.

    I think there are a lot of members who make profiles who have no interest in an arrangement. They might use the site as an ego boost, a joke, etc. I would ay this is a bigger obstacle to using the site vs the escort or john who signs up.

  356. FatBastardSD says:

    @Ken

    I have not met a SA SB who did not want a cash allowance ( the ones who do not seem to be on the blog :-) ).

    If a cash allowance is being offered your description of NSA is the most accurate definition of the term.

  357. Noob_SD says:

    @ lil_tm

    Your new avatar reminds me of this song …..

    [img]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tA6L8-lxaA8[/img]

  358. Noob_SD says:

    @ Listener @Noob: I appreciate knowing that at least some of the SD’s out there on this site are the type of guys I actually came on here looking for. Thanks for putting your experience/thoughts on the matter out there

    It is unfortunate, but the site has both Johns and Escorts. The trust factor is destroyed: just the fear of the genuine SB/SD in finding Johns/Escorts, keeps them from responding to genuine requests – at the slightest hint of suspicion. Eventually they get frustrated and leave and you have only the Johns/Escorts left OR a greater concentration of them.

  359. Dashel says:

    As an experienced strip club hobbyist
    -Ken

    I’m so naive, I didnt know this happened with any frequency.

    So Ken are your SB’s usually very short term, like a date or two or what? Do you tell them your expectations up front or at the first meet or ?

    Its interesting, you’re the other end of the spectrum from me. I paid before the first kiss hah. It worked out but I can easily see that it wouldnt all the time. I was willing to take the loss though.

  360. Noob_SD says:

    Very nice, Noob

    I think I ran off everybody …. Nobody wants to post anymore.

  361. sweetie says:

    ^Very nice, Noob :)

  362. Noob_SD says:

    @ lil_tm Oh dear..you now have my favorite Mortal Kombat character as your gravatar…a man after my own heart!

    I know nothing about Mortal Kombat. This is my favorite character and how I would do a serenade …

    [img]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I5LFD9VDq88[/img]

    The song by Louis Jordan was a chart topper in 1944 … :)

  363. sweetie says:

    @Lil “Check out Thievery Corporation and Frederico Aubele since you like that type of music.”

    Thank you 😉

  364. lil_tm says:

    @Noob

    Oh dear..you now have my favorite Mortal Kombat character as your gravatar…a man after my own heart!

  365. Noob_SD says:

    @ lil_tm LOL sweetie! That’s exactly who he looks like since he lost weight and grew a beard!

    Everything I do, I do it for you

    :)

  366. lil_tm says:

    @sweetie
    Check out Thievery Corporation and Frederico Aubele since you like that type of music.

  367. lil_tm says:

    LOL sweetie! That’s exactly who he looks like since he lost weight and grew a beard!

    “I like people with that “joie de vivre” and who argue passionately.”

    Thanks Noob Saibot. I do get joy out of the little things in life. As for arguing, I may do it passionately, but if and only if it’s someone or something I truly care about. And I don’t really care or get caught up in the things most people care about. :p

  368. Dashel says:

    Thanks ladies I’ll check all that out. Appreciated!

  369. Jersey Darling says:

    Dashel, I’m into the Great Gatsby soundtrack lately (you can find it on Spotify) as well as, of all things, southern gothic! Starting out with music I’ve heard on TV shows and liked (Mob Wives in particular, don’t judge me!) has led me to some pretty eclectic finds…

  370. sweetie says:

    D, check out El burrito by Yerba Buena, Chicle by Santa Cecilia, ZAZ, Habib Koite (Sirata), Drive (the soundtrack)… if you like foreign music.

  371. Dashel says:

    I need some new songs on my ipod. Someone suggest something fun.

  372. listener says:

    There once was a girl from Istanbul
    Who was tired of guys giving her bull
    She thought to herself
    As she cleaned up the shelf
    She needed a guy with some pull

  373. sweetie says:

    Noob “No, he doesn’t have much body hair.”

    But the attitude, his stance… forget the chia hair.

  374. Noob_SD says:

    @ Sweetie I got the music wrong, it’s Techno Viking. You’re gonna love this!
    Well, take a look at yourself, Techno Viking! Wunderbar!

    No, he doesn’t have much body hair. I didn’t know the history behind Techno Viking. I found some on Wikipedia. Interesting! [img]http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Techno_Viking[/img]

  375. Dashel says:

    Haha Techno Viking. Yes good call Sweetie. I forgot about that guy.

  376. Frank says:

    There was a youg lady from Utah
    Who thought with a few words she could move all
    Once she hit the button to send it
    They all called out to her for an edit
    So off she went to her home
    To be by herself all alone
    And told all her fans to cram it

  377. 604 says:

    So far I dated 5 girls. From beginning, I was very honest and specific in what I’m looking for (exclusive relationship). At the same time, I used alternative profile to check my “exclusive” sugar babies (best investment!!!). The first one was ready to P4P for $800. The second one was 30 instead of 21, so haven’t check her. The 3rd one decided she wants “friends only” relationship, after 5 expensive dates. My #4 asked for $5000 monthly allowance but when I used my second profile, she was ready to do blowjob for $100, or to be with 3 guys at the same time without condoms for $1000. The #5 asked for exclusive $3500 relationship, at the same time she was ready for $300 P4P.

    As I said, my profile is very specific. Also when they meet me I don’t look cheap. (Maybe I should change my appearance and rent cheap car when dating.) So I guess girls know how to adjust their story. That doesn’t prevent some of them to offer P4P to anybody ready to pay them.

    I’m sure there are many great girls at SA, but I simply have no luck finding local SB.

  378. listener says:

    @Noob: I appreciate knowing that at least some of the SD’s out there on this site are the type of guys I actually came on here looking for. Thanks for putting your experience/thoughts on the matter out there :)

  379. sweetie says:

    I got the music wrong, it’s Techno Viking. You’re gonna love this!
    Well, take a look at yourself, Techno Viking! Wunderbar!

    [img]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FwsntHcWiy4[imig]
    There are other versions of it!

  380. Noob_SD says:

    @ Sweetie Noob, you look like the Rave Viking… Are you him?

    I don’t know who or what that is ….. One of the blog SBs like their men with body hair … like a chia pet :)

  381. sweetie says:

    Noob, you look like the Rave Viking… Are you him?

  382. Noob_SD says:

    @lil_tm Most guys would take the opportunity to hit it and quit it. I guess

    I’m not most guys … then. My buddy (a Dr.) thinks I am low on testosterone. Why come to SA, if everyone’s looking for a quickie, there’s EROS, TER, P411 etc. I have one more week on my membership, I have a last shot at an artist/student – not an escort, and a latina from around S. Padre Islands. I am not sure, if I should even renew/come back to SA. I like the blog :)

    @FB Ohh, I detect hidden romance between lil_tm and Noob.

    It’s not hidden, I hope. I like people with that “joie de vivre” and who argue passionately.

    • Anonymous says:

      @Noob

      Are you actually one of those guys we hear about and think are fictitious who pay SBs for an nonsexual arrangement ?

  383. lil_tm says:

    Ohh, I detect hidden romance between lil_tm and Noob
    lil_tm and Noob sitting in a tree…

    K-I-S-S-I-N-G?
    You must think this love is free
    He and she are quite possibly
    Having fun to break up the monotony

    If you take a quick peek you will find
    Currently, no one is tappin’ this behind

    happy friday fatness. :O)

  384. FatBastardSD says:

    Ohh, I detect hidden romance between lil_tm and Noob.

    lil_tm and Noob sitting in a tree…

  385. lil_tm says:

    “While he does have nice abs,
    he also has crabs.
    His bicepts are hot,
    but his small penis is not.
    On top of it all,
    to add to his fall,
    he has an itch,
    to be Spicey’s bitch.”

    http://gifs.gifbin.com/1237977573_dunk.gif

  386. lil_tm says:

    ^LOL
    Please disregard the above comment..it was one I was going to send at some point that was lingering here and I meant to DELETE, not SUBMIT.

  387. lil_tm says:

    @Noob
    Most guys would take the opportunity to hit it and quit it.
    I guess

  388. SugarySpicey says:

    SoftiB … hard in anticipation
    Might she?
    Please!
    She’s down on her knees
    Her skills defy human oration

  389. FatBastardSD says:

    Spicey is rude,
    Spicey is thick,
    Spicey’s boob avatar makes FBSD grab hold of his dick.

  390. SugarySpicey says:

    There a FatBastard of Nantucket
    Looking for a young girl to suck it
    And he said with chagrin,
    She wants to get off again!
    So I’ll send her some Reeboks and duck it.

  391. Principium says:

    May I add my own flavor Sire?

    While Princi does have nice abs,
    he also has a bad case of the crabs.
    Thu his bicepts are tight & hot,
    His small penis, alas is not!
    On top of it all,
    to add to Princi’s fall,
    He has always hadth the itch,
    to be Pricey Spicey’s little man bitch

    Better!

  392. FatBastardSD says:

    While he does have nice abs,
    he also has crabs.
    His bicepts are hot,
    but his small penis is not.
    On top of it all,
    to add to his fall,
    he has an itch,
    to be Spicey’s bitch.

    :)

  393. sweetie says:

    Everybody is so creative… any publishers in the house?

  394. Principium says:

    ^ correction on second line not some FB, but some SB!^ Freudian slip. HaHa!

  395. Principium says:

    Always a classic:

    Hickory Dickory Dock
    Some FB was sucking FBSD’s cock
    When the clock struck the second of two
    FBSD just said Arrrrrgh and spurted his goo
    When the SB asked do I get an orgasm too?
    FBSD dumped the bitch & went back to selling more shoe

    😉

  396. Jersey Darling says:

    She comes to the date
    He “comes” more after the date
    Money made it happen

    😉

  397. Dashel says:

    Her long quest for love
    Searching for a connection
    Black Amex, at last!

    @Principiums guns:
    When values are very close, NSA is all but impossible. When there’s a huge disparity in values, the NSA ought to be defined as: No Stalking Allowed!

    Hah well said. I think you’re right.

  398. lil_tm says:

    ^haiku with alliteration?

  399. SugarySpicey says:

    Cheapskate meets Cheap date
    Coupons, Cleavage, Cash
    Carnal Coupling and Cialis Capsules

  400. lil_tm says:

    “I am afraid you would tip me out of the boat on purpose. While I normally wrestle alligators I have a knee injury right now and would probably get eaten. Remember I am always thinking two steps ahead”

    Crikey!

  401. lil_tm says:

    “This blog post is discussing an important topic,I think it’s time to derail it fro it’s intended path. I propose a SA haiku contest. The site should pick the best entry and feature it on the web page. I will go first!”

    Me next!

    Wrinkly Old Balls
    Smooth, silky chin
    The demise of a loofah

  402. FatBastardSD says:

    @lil_tm

    I am afraid you would tip me out of the boat on purpose. While I normally wrestle alligators I have a knee injury right now and would probably get eaten. Remeber I am always thinking two steps ahead…

  403. FatBastardSD says:

    This blog post is discussing an important topic,I think it’s time to derail it fro it’s intended path. I propose a SA haiku contest. The site should pick the best entry and feature it on the web page. I will go first!

    narcissistic whore
    ugly old man with money
    MBA begins

  404. lil_tm says:

    A woman supposedly brings her youth and beauty”

    All I have to offer is a ride through the swamp on my pirogue. :(

    “Running shoes are a valuable commodity, if I give you a coupon then there is one less thing I can use to bargain with the next single mom who walks into my store.”

    We can barter? I’ll take you for a ride in my pirogue. :))

  405. Principium says:

    Greedy Spicey: you can’t snitch on yourself to collect the reward!

  406. FatBastardSD says:

    @Spicy

    Busy! It’s about fu*king time that happened!

  407. FatBastardSD says:

    Prostitute vs Wife:

    The mistake people make is to fail to realize that there is no sex in a marriage, so the wife cannot be a prostitute.

    @Jersey Darling

    I have been trying to avoid paying for some time now. No success but it’s the hope that it will happen one day that keeps me going!

    @lil_tm

    Running shoes are a valuable commodity, if I give you a coupon then there is one less thing I can use to bargain with the next single mom who walks into my store.

  408. SugarySpicey says:

    Spicey is busy 😉

  409. Principium says:

    Where’s Sugary Spicey Nicey Pricey?! Is she stepping out on me already? Inquiring minds wanna know and there will be a reward for anyone who has supporting evidence to substantiate their claim of Spicey’s alleged cockuldry 😉

  410. Principium says:

    @ Dashel: The term NSA is just a posturing term at the outset for the sake of negotiating, when it comes to SD/SB relationships. People in general naturally tend to think very highly of the “values” which they bring to the table. A woman supposedly brings her youth and beauty (male hypergamy Achilles heel) whereas a man supposedly brings his wealth, power, high social status and prestige.

    Now add to the female side of the ledger, class, grace, higher education and ambition plus high sex drive & some kink (not necessarily inclusive with youth & beauty) and to the male side of the ledger add handsomeness and some mature debonair type of charm & sophistication and you will see how quickly those “NSA” pre-conditions will be tossed outta window! When values are very close, NSA is all but impossible. When there’s a huge disparity in values, the NSA ought to be defined as: No Stalking Allowed!

  411. Principium says:

    LOL @ lil_tm

    I had seen that Gold digger photo before on one of those The Dirty dot Com articles. Always makes me laugh, but sadly (for me) I’ll be entering the dreaded “Grandpa” realm (chronologically speaking) quite soon!

  412. Dashel says:

    NSA for me was a kind of vague “look I don’t know how serious I can get right now” sort of catch all. Friends with benefits is a fair substitute. Its not that I don’t care its more I probably can’t commit to a full traditional relationship right now but I still want to see you naked.

  413. FarBastardSD says:

    @ lil_tm

    ” There are guys and girls everywhere who could care less about giving one, and there are those who couldn’t give one with a step my step tutorial taped to the girls abs”

    Guilty on both counts :-).

    If you are sailing on different seas as you claim does that then imply you are looking for a BF on the site?

  414. sweetie says:

    :) It was late 80s, P! And we called him Johnny Macaroni, yep!

  415. Principium says:

    @ sweetie: I know your age 😉 There’s no way you could have remembered Johnny Mac as a very young brash & bratty version in his early 20’s! (it was the late 70’s / early 80’s) You must vaguely remember him in the twilight of his tennis career in the very late 80’s (just before Agassi’s & Sampras’s era in the 90’s)

  416. sweetie says:

    Hehehe, P! Nadal won, I managed to find a link online. It was great!!!
    I remember McEnroe on tv as a child, vaguely though…

  417. Principium says:

    @ sweet P: when I was into tennis, John McEnroe was like 20 YO and was battling Bjorne Borg & Jimmy Connors all over the Wimbeldon’s Center Court. Back then, you weren’t even a twinkle in your father’s eyes 😉

  418. Principium says:

    @ lil: while reading your post @ me on the iPad with my failing eye sight, well, your post looked liked something else at first 😉

  419. sweetie says:

    Any tennis fans here? Can’t watch the French Open Semi anywhere live online!!! Jeez!

    Vamos Rafa!

  420. lil_tm says:

    @Princi. Arms are lookin like rocks..kudos. 😀

  421. lil_tm says:

    NSA=friends with bennies with perks.

    “NSA: There is no requirement or expectation to give my SB an orgasm”

    psh. That ain’t got nothing to do with sugar, Sugar. There are guys and girls everywhere who could care less about giving one, and there are those who couldn’t give one with a step my step tutorial taped to the girls abs.

    In my world, a guy gets off on getting me off. But you and I are sailing different channels, so it’s all good.
    p.s. I need a new pair of running shoes. Any promotional codes you’d care to throw my way? 😉

  422. FatBastardSD says:

    NSA: There is no requirement or expectation to give my SB an orgasm. :-).

    Time to get serious :-|.

    NSA relationships are like working. You may like your boss, and your your boss may like you. You may even like your job, but at the end of the day your are there to make money and your boss gets your service for it, nothing more.

  423. KittyKat says:

    NSA=No Strings Attached

    In my opinion, in a real, perfect sugar relationship, there is no such thing as NSA.
    Truth, there are boundaries, there is no place for drama or jealousy, but with my ex SDs (well, most of them) we still keep in touch.

    After you have shared your body with someone (and it is not JUST the body), not as a one night stand or a fling, but as an on going relationship, which lasted at least a few months, it is hard to stop caring just right there on the spot.

  424. Principium says:

    *”conjugal” Haha!

  425. Principium says:

    I am going to add something is here regarding sugar & allowance:

    Not all SD/SB flavored websites have an “allowance” component. Of course this does not exclude a potential SB from requesting or rather demanding an allowance as a part and parcel of the “sugar dating” and it certainly does not mean that the potential SD should be completely oblivious to such a proposition.

    During my past travels in various Sugarlands, I joined three different such sites. One was seemingly a complete scam site with many bogus profiles and IMO, basically a credit card scamming mill. One was very low-key in terms of sugar (one had the option to specify whether one was looking for sugar or traditional dating) and also sparsely populated for my county. I determined that SA was the only site of the ones I can tried, to be very explicit about this allowance component.

    The above has nothing to do with the blog topic, but something I wanted to expound upon after reading Lo’s post from the last blog topic, while implying that the POT whom she had met last week was not very generous, but she had met him on another site.

    Ladies, if you meet men IRL and on other sugar sites, perhaps you ought to remember that you MUST be very forthright about your allowance expectations. To leave this important matter to a guesswork system, most often ends up in acute disappointment. It is just fine to agree to disagree on a $ figure and/or the “conjugate” visitations. It is just negotiating and should be treated as such, not a personal agenda or vendetta.

    Lastly, reneging on any reciprocal part of the pre-discussed and agreed arrangement using the NSA clause is NOT cool and kosher. Most of us have used the term fraud in the past for such sordid deeds.

  426. SugarySpicey says:

    Jersey – “I find that most men who liken this to prostitution yet still want an arrangement are typically just men who are avoiding trying to pay.” I agree, it’s men who want hot, young, sexy women, and want to bypass wooing simply because they’re successful – but for some reason they think the game changes for them.

    If you want me to be cheap, I ain’t going to be easy. And if you want me to be easy I ain’t going to be cheap!

  427. Dashel says:

    Ah that sucks sorry Noob. Connection indeed. Good you found out before meeting up at least.

  428. Jersey Darling says:

    And to clarify: No, I do not consider this to be prositution in any way. I think in any relationship – whether NSA or full of emotion – at one point someone probably pays for the other, whether it’s for dinner or to help them out. It’s more that there is a spectrum, where finances are concerned, between prostitute and wife. It’s hard to delineate the different stages, but you know it when you see it.

  429. Jersey Darling says:

    I think it’s also important to make the distinction that not every arrangement is NSA – it’s just those that are may be subject to more questions because the confusion between these types of arrangements and P4P is more prevalent.

    While I agree that NSA does not mean it is P4P, there is an underlying fallacy within this post – the comparison of NSA to FWB, and saying that just because there is money involved doesn’t make it any different. It does make it different. How is sex with emotions and sex with a prositute who may care for you different except for the money?

    The line is soft and I think it is suited to Justice Stewart’s line about pornography: “I shall not today attempt further to define the kinds of material I understand to be embraced within that shorthand description, and perhaps I could never succeed in intelligibly doing so. But I know it when I see it.”

    I appreciate when someone tries to make the distinction, but ultimately it comes down to the two parties involved: Can they be honest about their expectations and drop the pretense and have a frank discussion?

    I find that most men who liken this to prostitution yet still want an arrangement are typically just men who are avoiding trying to pay.

  430. Noob_SD says:

    @ lil_tm Finally…a blog post I can get down with.

    Amen. Finally a subject and note worthy of some discussion … it has been pretty dry lately. My conversation with a pot SB below and how it ended. This was supposed to be our first meet & greet. She was looking for P4P – my mistake. Lesson learned.

    Pot SB:Hmmm…did you want to meet only? Or if we have a connection then get a room?

    Me: No I do not want to get a room. I hardly know you. I am not in this for the physical thing – if it happens, it does. Looks like we are looking for different things …. Unless you are joking :)

    Pot SB: Hmmmm….I’m on seeking arrangement for a per visit arrangement . If this isn’t why you are on there then you’re right that we have different objectives….which is ok…I just don’t want to waste your time or mine if that’s the case.

  431. lil_tm says:

    Finally…a blog post I can get down with. The rest I’ve read are ree-dunk-ulous.

  432. sweetie says:

    I wish SA would put relationship status in the browsing window just so I don’t click on all these married men…

  433. TravelMuse says:

    Apropos Topic………way too many SA gentlemen claim ignorance on NSA….it’s relevance and definition at least on here!!!!

  434. TravelMuse says:

    Apropos Topic………way too many SA gentlemen claim ignorance on NSA….it’s relevance and definition at least on here!!!!

  435. sweetie says:

    Regarding the topic NSA, the picture posted with it does not NSA mean! That looks like love in my book!

  436. sweetie says:

    Spicey “Just Googled my date, turns out he’s a gyno. Don’t know if I can get past ewwww!”

    … like that movie with Jeremy Irons where he’s a gyno and has a twin who’s a gyno as well. Disturbing movie. You should watch it 😉

  437. estella says:

    Hey guys, I’m new. Just had a bit of a worry about meeting pot sd. I know it’s silly and I’m paranoid but how do you know they’ll keep up their end of the deal? A lot of people say not to put out until they pay up, but I would sleep with this guy anyway, how do I broach this with him? Any other advice would be great thanks!

  438. SugarySpicey says:

    Tru dat! A gyno should definitely be able to find my magic buttons. As long as he doesn’t try to put me in stirrups.

  439. London Girl says:

    But at least he would know what he was doing!

  440. SugarySpicey says:

    Just Googled my date, turns out he’s a gyno. Don’t know if I can get past ewwww!

  441. SugarySpicey says:

    It means I’m first!

  442. JennSA says:

    All personalities and perspectives are welcome in the blog, while personal attacks and name calling are not. It’s inevitable that there will be disagreements but let’s handle it as mature adults with class to keep the dialog constructive and respectful. Please refer to the “Blog Etiquette” for more details. For the newbies, please take a look at the “Sugar Daddy Dating Tips” section on the right for a list of commonly discussed topics and the “SD and SB Blog List” section to see the perspective of other sugars. Now comment away and let’s enjoy the blog…

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