4 years ago
Sugar Call Out: Calling Sugar Daddies and Sugar Mommies a Myth

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Here’s to the “scholars” of the University of Colorado Denver who decided to call the Sugar Bowl a myth. By studying people who were not Sugar Babies or Daddies. Bravo.

On May 6, the University of Colorado Denver released a study claiming that “Sugar Daddies” and “Sugar Mommies” were more myth than reality. I know the Sugar Bowl can be hard to navigate at first, but mythical? Tell that to the millions of Sugar Babies, Daddies, and Mommies out there.

The study alleges that a married couple’s attractiveness, wealth, and intelligence are negatively affected by an age gap of 8 or more years. Last I checked, Sugar Daddies look way hotter with an attractive Sugar Baby next to him. I mean, that’s part of the whole point.

Naturally, we dispute this claim. First off, whoever conducted this study clearly has no grasp of the Sugar Bowl or how it works. Only 33 percent of the site’s Sugar Daddies are married and you’re probably looking at close to the same numbers elsewhere as well. Monogamy isn’t exactly one of the main appeals of Sugar Dating.

Now, onto the claims of wealth decreasing, a true Sugar Daddy has the disposable income to maintain a Sugar Baby or multiple Sugar Babies at a time. No amount of eyelash batting or flashing that 1000 watt smile will cause a successful man lose common sense and decrease his net worth. Key word there: Net Worth. Upper-class gentlemen consider this their wealth, while fakers, or Splenda Daddies, consider their monthly income as wealth.

Perhaps the most offensive of the study’s claim is that age gaps in said relationships decrease the intelligence. Last I checked, the average Sugar Baby is college-educated and some Sugar Daddies make great mentors.

A good Sugar relationship is one where not only the Sugar Baby benefits financially, but one where she (or he) gains mentor-ship from the Sugar Daddy (or Mommy). And in turn, the Sugar Daddy finds a worthy companion who can bring energy and a fresh outlook to their lives.

Remember Sugars, regardless of the naysayers who will try to discredit Sugar Babies, Sugar Daddies, and Sugar Mommies—only those within our community truly understand. Stand your ground, hold your head up, and be proud of being part of the Sugar Bowl. Sugar on!

What do you think about this study?

What do you think about the non-Sugar Bowl community labeling Sugar Daddies and Mommies as myths?

 

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544 Responses to “Sugar Call Out: Calling Sugar Daddies and Sugar Mommies a Myth”

  1. Bill says:

    This web site is full of hotties. I love it.

  2. DianaSBinOC says:

    “It’s funny to me that you men refuse to date women your age, then take offense if any SBs happen to mention the effects of age+gravity on this blog. Why can your eyes see the effects of age but we’re supposed to be blind to it?”

    Another reason why I go really late or really early to Trader Joe’s. Get in , shop, pay and run to your car as if someone is chasing you.

  3. DianaSBinOC says:

    “At my age and in less than a couple of month, I qualify for senior dating websites! Fcuk that! I rather suck on my own Johnson and be happy for the fact that I’ve been with some real hotties in my life and then just live off the fumes of those experiences.”

    Am I the only one that would really like to see him suck his own johnson? I mean that takes incredible flexibility. This is why I’ve always desired men that do yoga. A few more stretches and things could get rather interesting!

  4. FatBastardSD says:

    @Noob_SD

    The single mother is my favorite choice when it comes to choosing a SB. Growing children in the house mean a constant need to new running shoes. Lets just say that when uncle FatBastard arrives with the latest pair of Nike shoes Johnny’s eyes light up. Does the FatBastard keep the Nike shoes or give them to Johnny? That depends on what his mom does for FatBastard…

  5. SugarySpicey says:

    Cunny, you are looking very good, Sir, indeed.

  6. Principium says:

    Regarding age & gravity: I’m from another planet where the gravity is twice that of what you Earthlings feel as norm. Your question is redundant in my case!

  7. SugarySpicey says:

    Cunny, my muschi just scowled at you.

  8. Principium says:

    @ Pricey: My 25 Yr old Son and I have talked about partaking with a mother and daughter set. Send me a photo of mommy and let me see if he’d go for a stone cold DDG 60 Yr young matriarch 😉

  9. SugarySpicey says:

    Lol, Jersey, I wore six inch heels to Home Depot this weekend. But I think it’s different when you’re super curvy you don’t have as much leeway ( you’d too over)!

  10. Jersey Darling says:

    @Spicey – good lord! It’s actually not the dress that gets me but the heels!

    I’m wearing a periwinkle sheath dress to a first meet with someone from SA tonight… plus 3″ wedges. 4″ heels are far too much for me (or any office) to me, that plus the red, whew I better be going somewhere nice for that! But rock on!

  11. SugarySpicey says:

    It’s funny to me that you men refuse to date women your age, then take offense if any SBs happen to mention the effects of age+gravity on this blog. Why can your eyes see the effects of age but we’re supposed to be blind to it?

    – this said by a girl who has no problem with 60+, as long as that isn’t a belt size.

  12. Noob_SD says:

    One of the most beautiful things I have ever read. I dont’ agree with everything you say but that was brilliant.

    Amen!

  13. SugarySpicey says:

    Jersey, it’s a White House/Black Market sheath dress, not a Forever 21 bandage number. I wore it with a pin striped suit jacket – (which I had to take off for the blood pressure check) sexy and eye catching but totally office appropriate. Any heel under three inches is for quitters, he’d expect the slutty shoes, which we joked about a lot!

  14. Jersey Darling says:

    Spicey, who was his friend? Tell me it wasn’t another doctor you went to see lol. Four inch heels and a red dress? Hum!

  15. SugarySpicey says:

    Thanks Flyr – Men love a third party endorsement of their potential lover’s hotness, or at least it reminds him what he wants. It’s why I went for the fitted sexy but classy red dress and the four inch Chanels. I imagine that should at least be noteworthy the next time they’re talking.

    Damn people and your convoluted divorces! Clean break people!

  16. SugarySpicey says:

    Princi – My 60 year old mom is a stone cold hottie, you may find all sorts of sexy swinging seniors out there. 😉

  17. flyr says:

    @SS “Although I’m totally not thinking about the surgeon anymore, I’m really hoping that his friend that I saw yesterday will tell him that I looked super hot. Is that so wrong?”

    Third party endorsements are always better

    .

  18. FatBastardSD says:

    @Principium

    “At my age and in less than a couple of month, I qualify for senior dating websites! Fcuk that! I rather suck on my own Johnson and be happy for the fact that I’ve been with some real hotties in my life and then just live off the fumes of those experiences.”

    One of the most beautiful things I have ever read. I dont’ agree with everything you say but that was brilliant.

  19. SugarySpicey says:

    Although I’m totally not thinking about the surgeon anymore, I’m really hoping that his friend that I saw yesterday will tell him that I looked super hot. Is that so wrong?

  20. SugarySpicey says:

    You might be right Jersey, but occasionally I have a soft heart, and single mom’s who never learned to use the silent’e’ apparently trigger it. Hopefully she has a great rack and a magic mouth.

  21. Noob_SD says:

    @ Jersey D @Noob – It’ll change, just takes time! Try not breaking the system with your gravatars in the future

    I thought I was helping the system … People always feel good when they can find someone else to make fun of …

  22. Jersey Darling says:

    Woman**

  23. Jersey Darling says:

    @Spicey – actually, that would be a bad idea. If someone else writes a better profile for her, she’d be in over her head and get into it even worse.

    I’m fairly Darwinistic, but if you play in shark infested waters and you don’t know what to look out for and you’re a mentally capable women – well, I don’t feel too bad for you. Anyone can take the initiative to read the internet and do research. She hasn’t or she’d know step 1 is a well written profile.

    @Noob – It’ll change, just takes time! Try not breaking the system with your gravatars in the future :mrgreen:

    @Principium – Brat? Where?

  24. Noob_SD says:

    @ Sugary Spicey I tried that one time. There was this really nice looking girl who had really crappy pictures in her profile – with her in front of the rest-room, a messy bedroom. I gave her some tips, having dabbled in photography …. she called me an A…hole.

    There is a good chance that this lady will come back with a response like that. How do I know? Ever wonder why when they accept donations during christmas (decorate a tree etc.) they warn you not to put your name, contact details?

  25. SugarySpicey says:

    Noob, the kindest thing you could do for that woman is to send her an email with her profile written out using proper grammar, spelling, and punctuation. She is going to get eaten alive!

  26. Principium says:

    For the umpteenth time, regular dating site if a guy is > 40 years of year = COMPLETE SH*T SHOW!

    Even women who may not get a second look on the main street, will get inundated with messages. This most definitely has a bearing as to why there are so many men on SA looking and hoping for a GF.

    At my age and in less than a couple of month, I qualify for senior dating websites! Fcuk that! I rather suck on my own Johnson and be happy for the fact that I’ve been with some real hotties in my life and then just live off the fumes of those experiences.

    Other than that, it’s me, my wallet and my physique right off the bat. All the good stuff comes along later on with this Brat in here 😉

  27. Noob_SD says:

    @ Jersey D @Noob, I just… It’s the thong! I cave I cave!

    How about some help … my thong picture is not going away… I changed my gravatar, it doesn’t seem to want to change

  28. Jersey Darling says:

    @Noob – girls like that are setting themselves up to be exploited. Just keep your fingers crossed for them and move on.

  29. Jersey Darling says:

    That’s strange. I’m on a regular dating site as well and although my inbox gets swamped, it’s not by guys that are all that. -Lil

    Depends on the picture. If I have a pretty picture that’s showing cleavage in a classy way, all of a sudden the articulate young professionals who also look really good come out of the woodwork. Not ALL of my inbox is full of guys like that – I’d say 85-90% of the guys aren’t. But if 10% of the guys are young (or young looking), fit, athletic, and articulate, that leaves me 10 really desirable guys to work with out of every 100 messages I’m getting. That’s a very good ratio IMO!

    And its part of why I “recalibrate” every so often with traditional dating! Because my numbers in my inbox on SA are much lower than what I’ve seen most girls on the blog state.

  30. Noob_SD says:

    This is the type of profile that troubles me sometimes …. can’t help shake the feeling that these arrangements fuel exploitation/or attracts it. The first pot I met had 3 kids as well … couldn’t bring myself to continue with that …

    ————————-

    Occupation: stay at home mom
    Marital Status: Single
    Smoking Habit: Light Smoker
    Drinking Habit: Social Drinker
    Summary: spoil me
    Description: I’m a single mother who just recently got out of 2yr relationship i have 3 kids who look up to me and am willing to do wut ever it takes for them not to go wit out my kids always comes first…i love to have a time every now and then go to a movie or dinner even go out for som drinks i love to sing im outgoin people person who will do anything for her kids

    Arrangement I am Seeking

    I’m Seeking: Sugar Daddy
    I Expect: US$1,000 – $3,000 monthly
    Description: I help payin my rent and my light bill

    ————————–

  31. lil_tm says:

    “Speaking of ordinary dating sites, whats the ratio of men to women on SA? Ordinary dating sites are often an uphill battle numbers game for men, with women getting flooded with emails.”

    I think it’s the opposite here. Maybe not females initiating contact, but I think the men have the upper hand here, ratio wise. 😀

    “To put it in perspective, on regular dating sites, with a decent picture I get around 100 messages a day (not exaggerating) so even if I write to guys first, which is rare but I’ll definitely do if someone catches my attention, if I don’t respond the instant their email comes in it often gets buried :( I’m on a traditional dating website now and my inbox currently has 300 messages from the past few days, a decent percentage of which are from very good looking, physically fit and attractive guys who are articulate. I just can’t keep up. So even of that crowd, one has to really stand out to get my attention.”

    That’s strange. I’m on a regular dating site as well and although my inbox gets swamped, it’s not by guys that are all that.

    Dashel-you know how to hold a discussion with a girl, so you have that going for you. I know it sounds silly, but most guys on there don’t even have that going for them.
    I’m used to, “Hey girl, can I get your digits” or naked pics I didn’t ask for. Yea…well thought out intro, buddy!

  32. Jersey Darling says:

    “Do any SBs here reach out to men first?”

    Always! I get better responses that way. I might be in the minority on this one though.

    Of the guys I’ve actually met from SA… I think it’s been about a 50/50 split on whether I approached them first or vice versa. Then again, I’m not always actively using the site – reaching out to guys first takes effort because my emails are good.

    To put it in perspective, on regular dating sites, with a decent picture I get around 100 messages a day (not exaggerating) so even if I write to guys first, which is rare but I’ll definitely do if someone catches my attention, if I don’t respond the instant their email comes in it often gets buried :( I’m on a traditional dating website now and my inbox currently has 300 messages from the past few days, a decent percentage of which are from very good looking, physically fit and attractive guys who are articulate. I just can’t keep up. So even of that crowd, one has to really stand out to get my attention.

  33. SugarySpicey says:

    Softi – if you don’t know me by now, you never will. It’s all hyperbole. 😉

  34. FatBastardSD says:

    @SugarySpicey

    :-)

  35. FatBastardSD says:

    @lil_tm

    “That’s not very nice.”

    You will get over it I am sure :-).

    @SugarySpicey

    I don’t think I have mentioned your expectations at all.

    I will agree that a lot of what you write is quite funny, I don’t know if it’s intentionally funny though.

  36. SugarySpicey says:

    Softi – I like the kinky stuff within an NSA+ connection arrangement (meaning I won’t do the snot cry or stalk you at your office if you break things off, but we’ll have a great time at dinner or you Aunt Marge’s Birthday Party). My kink tolerance is broad and accepting but I won’t let men degrade me like a truck stop hooker, I’ve been as open about that as could be. I have high allowance expectations and any SD who has met those expectations would happily do so again.

    I’m also smart and funny, put out early, often, and enthusiastically, wear a size 0, have no gag reflex, have travelled the world, and can speak on a broad variety of subjects.

    Do, please tell me why my expectations are outrageous?

  37. lil_tm says:

    “A cop-out, but then again you are a woman.”

    That’s not very nice. :(

    “Well from these comments I would assume that you are looking for a monogamous SB/SD relationship. You are right though I sail the SA seas, I am not sure what body of water you are on”

    I am sailing the SA seas as well…I am just sailing a different channel than you. 😀

  38. Dashel says:

    I would bet strange email requests happen on ordinary dating sites with just as much frequency as on SA.

    Speaking of ordinary dating sites, whats the ratio of men to women on SA? Ordinary dating sites are often an uphill battle numbers game for men, with women getting flooded with emails.

    Do any SBs here reach out to men first?

  39. FatBastardSD says:

    @lil_tm

    “It is possible to care for someone even if you are attached to someone else.”

    A cop-out, but then again you are a woman.

    “I don’t think it’s beneficial to get involved with a married man who is still with his wife or a girl with a bf..so personally, I steer clear of that type of thing.

    So, your opinion about this stuff is different than mine because you tread in waters I steer clear of.”

    Well from these comments I would assume that you are looking for a monogamous SB/SD relationship. You are right though I sail the SA seas, I am not sure what body of water you are on :-).

  40. lil_tm says:

    “Why is becoming attached to this SB beneficial to a SD?”

    It is possible to care for someone even if you are attached to someone else.
    That said, I don’t think it’s right to share yourself with someone unless all parties agree it is okay (bf and wife, for example)..and I don’t see that going down too swell.

    I don’t think it’s beneficial to get involved with a married man who is still with his wife or a girl with a bf..so personally, I steer clear of that type of thing.

    So, your opinion about this stuff is different than mine because you tread in waters I steer clear of. 😀

  41. FatBastardSD says:

    @lil_tm

    Here is a typical SB profile.

    NSA, not looking for a BF (probably has one on the side), or SD’s who are looking for a wife, but wants an arrangement and is willing to be intimate for the right amount.

    If you think this is atypical feel free to describe what you believe the typical SB wants.

    Why is becoming attached to this SB beneficial to a SD?

  42. FatBastardSD says:

    @flyr

    If by bizarre requests you mean old guys wanting 20 year old girls to have sex with them, then I would agree. I would bet strange email requests happen on ordinary dating sites with just as much frequency as on SA. Email offers mean nothing.

    If a SB is holding out and only willing to meet high dollar SD’s then I don’t see how they could not expect that these SD’s would be expecting something out of the norm.

  43. lil_tm says:

    ^Potato/Patato.

    I don’t see how you can share your bed with someone on a semi-regular basis without ever feeling any kind of attachment, unless you are a completely emotionless creature.

    Sugar opens the door for laying it all on the line out the gate and seeing if there’s still potential to start an arrangement. jmo. I wish regular dating could be so blunt.

  44. FatBastardSD says:

    @lil_tm

    Puppet on a string, no. At most I would tie your arms and legs to the bed post :-).

    Many SD’s and SB’s disagree with me but for me P4P and NSA is indistinguishable. If you can walk away at any time without any hard feelings then I submit there were no feelings there to begin with.

    Chicken or the egg? Was I a Bastard when I arrived on the SA scene or did I evolve into the poster you all know and love? I may be an unreliable narrator, I guess I would have to interview all the SB’sI have met to get another perspective.

  45. flyr says:

    “My understanding is you expect a very high amount of gifts/allowance from a SD so I don’t know why you are surprised that you would get extreme requests.”

    My guess is that bizarre requests to more with the SB concept than any specific allowance level. It’s an open invitation for lots to get out of the closet……

  46. lil_tm says:

    “I never instigate, and I honestly came up with those lyrics on my own”

    Whatevs, fatty. You’re always poking at us to see how we’re react. I’m not your puppet on a string! haha

    “I am not sure I discussed SB bedroom skills, but let me explain my dilema. SB profiles that state a preference for NSA discrete meetings. Advise that SB’s need to behave a certain way or have a persona in order to keep the SD interested in the long term. Is this really the basis for me to get to know a SB’s mind? Do SB’s want me to know their minds or do they want me to know where to deposit their money?”

    So why even come here if what is actually seek is P4P? NSA is not the same. To me, it means you can both walk away with no hard feelings.
    A sb/sd relationship, imo, is not what you describe. And seems like it could be the source of some disappointment.

    If a girl is acting, it is eventually going to show. This is where I agree with a lot of you as I’ve stated before. I have no desire to engage in a fake relationship with someone. We all know how that’s gonna end.

    It sounds to me like the girls are acting exactly the way you want them to.
    They’re there for business and that is it.

    And to answer your question, a sb wants you to know where her mind and her bank acct are. Just sayin. 😀

  47. lil_tm says:

    “Generally true; however there are a number for whom a quick read of the profile leads to a reasonable conclusion.”

    And so if your conclusion is not a satisfactory one, stop and do a U-turn. 😀

  48. FatBastardSD says:

    @lil_tm

    I never instigate, and I honestly came up with those lyrics on my own :-).

    I am not sure I discussed SB bedroom skills, but let me explain my dilema. SB profiles that state a preference for NSA discrete meetings. Advise that SB’s need to behave a certain way or have a persona in order to keep the SD interested in the long term. Is this really the basis for me to get to know a SB’s mind? Do SB’s want me to know their minds or do they want me to know where to deposit their money?

    I think we all know the answer to the last question :-).

  49. FatBastardSD says:

    @SugarySpicey

    My understanding is you expect a very high amount of gifts/allowance from a SD so I don’t know why you are surprised that you would get extreme requests.

    Why would a SB who wants a $5K-$10K allowance (typically meeting once per week) be expecting anything other than extreme requests? What else justifies a $1K-$2K per day payment?

  50. flyr says:

    @lil – “Maybe the reason you have a disdain for women in some ways is because you don’t want to spend the time to get to know their minds.

    How can you know the caliber of person you’re dealing with without doing so?”

    Generally true; however there are a number for whom a quick read of the profile leads to a reasonable conclusion. I’m sure it works both ways.

    Sometimes you need to go with the flow – “Of course I am working to save the environment. I have a DiHydrousOxide sequestration system in my house and our plant , you know it kills more than all other chemical compounds; hundreds of thousands each year” . I even got a letter from Al Gore last year.

  51. SugarySpicey says:

    Micah – He’s probably just talking that way right now because he’s excited and a little bit infatuated. Reality is, if he’s successful enough to be able to provide the sugar that you’re looking for he probably doesn’t have as much free time as you’re concerned he might consume of yours.

  52. lil_tm says:

    And Fatty…just some food for thought..

    Maybe the reason you have a disdain for women in some ways is because you don’t want to spend the time to get to know their minds.

    How can you know the caliber of person you’re dealing with without doing so?
    You can’t..you’re engaging based on looks alone. JMO.

  53. lil_tm says:

    “I’m willing to help weed out the insincere buttholes.”

    That was supposed to say anything, not I’m willing.

    “I never should have doubted you! You surprise me with every post you make…every move you make…every bond you break…every step you take…I’ll be watching you!”

    I’m trying to come original and here you are throwing regurgitated lyrics at me. I see how it is, fatty. *takes notes* 😀

    “What exactly is so traumatic about the messages these SB’s get that makes them want to shower 4-5 times per day.”

    Perhaps it’s her perception? I’d have to have an IRL experience to actually feel that grody.

    “A lot of guys want kink, that’s the reason they pay the high allowance. It’s not because the SB is sexy or wonderful to talk to.”

    Fatty! You don’t need an allowance to find kink!
    You’ve said yourself a lot of these girls are college students who don’t know anything about being good in bed.
    What is worth an allowance is a girl you do actually enjoy the company of and talking to and who can deliver physical happiness. It all ties in together..you’ve either just had all really bad experiences with women or you’re instigating on purpose. 😛

  54. SugarySpicey says:

    Softi – my expectations are purely based on what I find sexy. Anything that averages to less than what I could make in a night slinging drinks isn’t sexy. And, my SDs do love to talk with me, to the point where sometimes I have to climb on their lap and pull of my shirt in order to remind them what I’m there for (because I like kinky).

    Let’s see, the worst message I ever received: a profile that was actually pics of three guys, who wanted to use me as a dumpster. They went into explicit detail as to how fully they wanted to fill and cover every inch of me. It made me want to shower. It was after that message I decided to hide my account.

  55. FatBastardSD says:

    @Principium,

    You escort financial breakdown describes 2 johns a day for 15 days per month in the $5K-$10K range.

    How many SB’s are looking to see the SD 15 evenings (the time it takes to service 2 johns) per month for their allowance? Most profiles seem to be based on meeting once per week. Your reasoning is not as bad as SugarySpicey’s method of basing her time on a $50/hour server job but I think it is flawed.

  56. FatBastardSD says:

    @SugarySpicey

    I am sure the SB’s would have no problem if the SD’s had a B(itch) and S(lut) rating for the SB’s as well. I am sure you would be the first to support such a system.

  57. FatBastardSD says:

    @flyr, @DianaSBinOC, @Guru

    I have to say I am sad to see Guru in this list.

    What exactly is so traumatic about the messages these SB’s get that makes them want to shower 4-5 times per day. It’s a message or email for f*ucks sake! I do like the thought of DianaSBinOC being in the shower though…getting all wet…

    A lot of guys want kink, that’s the reason they pay the high allowance. It’s not because the SB is sexy or wonderful to talk to.

  58. SugarySpicey says:

    Well Softi – along that same logic members could rate an SD as generous (in bed and the wallet) and kind, give him an R for Real. That would help increase revenue from legit daddies who get better responses because they’re well rated … maybe SBs can only see ratings and post them if they have a paid membership?

    P.S. Babies – if you don’t have a college account you’ll really have a better SA experience if you pay the $20 and upgrade to premium so that you can see who’s lurking your profile.

  59. FatBastardSD says:

    @ flyr

    I think your medication was wearing off when you wrote one of those posts :-).

    I like your asshole flagging system. I mean who would not want to pay a membership that allows non paying members (the SB’s) to flag you as an asshole. If SA really wants to increase revenue they should implement this right away.

  60. FatBastardSD says:

    @Jersey Darling

    I never though of you as a bad influence. Evil (as all women are), but never a bad influence.

    Your experiment seems to be designed to get better messages, however I though the point was to get better SD’s :-).

    @lil_tm

    I never should have doubted you! You surprise me with every post you make…every move you make…every bond you break…every step you take…I’ll be watching you!

    (I wrote that myself)

  61. Lil_tm says:

    @JD

    I’m willing to help weed out the insincere buttholes. 😉

    @Guru

    Your blog is good reading..gonna have to delve in a little further when I have time.
    Seems pretty authentic from what I see. :)

  62. Jersey Darling says:

    @SD Guru – I’m sure that’s precisely it! And I keep coming back for more because I haven’t found him yet 😛

  63. flyr says:

    @ Micah – Please excuse yourself midway through your meeting and report back here.

  64. SugarySpicey says:

    Flyr – just click my name.

    Well, hello Guru!!!

  65. Jersey Darling says:

    Flyr, if you click on her name it will take you there. Here it is: sugarmytips. wordpress. com

  66. flyr says:

    Lost on the information highway I have not found spicey’s blog

  67. Jersey Darling says:

    @Guru You better watch out what you do with that tongue! I don’t know if you’ve read Spicey’s post on her blog (think it’s the second to most recent?) but I’m in search of the elusive Mr. P….

  68. Jersey Darling says:

    …except for flyr of course. I’d never stick out my tongue at you 😉

  69. Jersey Darling says:

    @Lil_tm – Say all the men who’ve never been an SB 😉 Bottom line is do what works, and if it’s working the proof is in the pudding!

    *sticks out tongue to all the SDs* 😛

  70. lil_tm says:

    So, we have debunked my experiment. Well, it was fun while it lasted. 😀

  71. flyr says:

    RE sugar vs quality

    I have seen a number of profiles where within the text there a polite sentence that reads to the effect ” if your allowance capability is below $xxx please do not contact me. It’s a stronger statement.

    • SD Guru says:

      @lil_tm
      “I created a new profile and put $3k-$5k… the guys it is attracting are more professional looking, more attractive, and better communicators–for whatever reason.”
      @FatBastard
      “For the SB’s that I have met allowance requirements seem to be driven more by the SB’s financial situation rather than appearance.”
      @Noob_SD
      “the higher allowance range does not equate better quality in my eyes.”

      Based on my experience, the “expected allowance” in a profile is not a reliable indicator for the quality of SB. Therefore I would not base my decision to contact a SB solely on that. I elaborated on this in my blog: “SD’s income/wealth/budget vs SB’s expected allowance“.

      @Micah SB
      “he seems very direct and verbal about his needs… im already dreading the “first meeting sex/ allowance” negotiation… how does one proceed on the initial allowance conversation??”

      First, just keep one simple fact in mind… you have not met him in person and there is no arrangement in place yet. Learn to trust your gut instinct and don’t do anything you’re not comfortable with. Check out my “Tips for Newbies” post and see how he stacks up against the “SD Screening” I listed. When you’re dealing with a genuine SD it should be a pleasant experience even though it may not result in an arrangement. Also check out “Questions Newbie SB’s Should Ask” in my blog.

      @flyr
      “without some humanity involved, being a SB candidate can be a very degrading , meat market process.”

      Once upon a time I helped a former SB by creating a profile and do the screening for her (shhh.. don’t tell anyone!). All I can say is I don’t envy what SB’s have to put up with and it’s good to be a SD! :mrgreen:

  72. flyr says:

    sorry the above was so scrambled . For some reason it was not visible for editing

  73. flyr says:

    @micah “how does one proceed on the initial allowance conversatiknow he wants me to be clear about it… i just have no idea what his expectations are and since they seem pretty high i dot want to feel uncomfortable revealing mine…”

    STOP GO DIRECTLY TO THINK MODE

    FoThis sounds like a case where you might deviate from the normal sequence as there he’s pressing the limits before you have even met.

    Decision Tree

    Foundation – this person proposes to make a major change and “intrusion into your life – is the person and the extent of the intrusion acceptable to you ?

    It’s as if you put up an ad that you were looking for a quiet non smoking person to rent a roof for you in your healthy environment . The person wants you to propose the rent. Before doing that you find the he spends his mornings cooking a couple pounds of deep friend chicken because his buds in the rock band will be over to practice in the evening……… the rent discussion is irrelevant. And he needs a quiet place to meet with his parole officer on tuesday morning.

    The equivalent here is that you are dealing with someone who may have very unrealistic expectations that might be based on the fact that you are so desirable or that he has a desire for a person to control. He may be trying to smother you with what he thinks you want to get you to move ahead without thinking.

    Manage expectations – before the meeting let him know that there’s no sex tonight even if he is prince charming with a gold filled carriage . Make it a positive, you’re new to this a sugar virgin. You want to get better acquainted .

    Only after you are
    comfortable with the person
    comfortable with their expectations – time- activities etc will you be ready to discuss allowance.

    I think there’s enough red flags that you want to proceed carefully, a comfortable place .

    It’s also possibly that this is just a needy nerd whose company has gone public and is now wanting to catch up on the social time he sacrificed. They are out there. Not related to sugar but I had a friend who flew cabin crew for an upscale charter company. Every week she would leave LA on eI afternoon, fly to San Jose and pick up the tech mogul, fly him (as the sole passenger) to Hawaii for his morning surfing lesson, pick him up and fly him back to the Bay area.

    Big picture – He’ll be thinking with the little head- make sure you are thinking with the big head and with all the sensors deployed.

  74. Dashel says:

    today he sent me a text saying he would want to see me nearly every day! everyday?!!!!! I mean… i love the enthusiasm and dedication but i do want a life outside sugaring… Please help me… We haven’t discussed an amount yet and im already dreading the “first meeting sex/ allowance” negotiation…
    how do i bring up that I can only free up a certain amount of time and that this has to be held accountable of my expectations?! The bracket i posted on SD was ideally for a 1-2 a week scenario…

    MicahSB

    Ha as far as the seeing you every day goes, seems like he’s perhaps getting a bit carried away but he can be brought back to earth. Falling for someone you’ve never met in person is a psychology all it’s own.

    Meeting a new person, the limitations of pictures and text allows for a lot of room to project your needs and desires on to that relatively blank canvas. Flattering pictures, some fun texts and chats… “You love to laugh? ME TOO!”.. it’s easy to become invested in each other given the right circumstances. :)

    Anyway, all that just to say acknowledge and accept that things can get a bit heady. Dont let it throw you and dont sweat high expectations by him. Be realistic before you see him and collect your thoughts. If it’s going well and you’re feeling it I’d just tell him “This is fun, I’m glad we got together. I’m looking forward to going out again and I’m available x,y,z days and times… ”

    As for amounts I always felt that was incumbent on me to bring up as the SD, and to make it as easy as possible for the SB. I can imagine it’s a delicate conversation for most. Maybe others feel differently. He presumably knows this is your first arrangement, I’d flip it back and ask what he’s comfortable with. Still, be prepared to answer if he asks you though. Just as simple as “2000 a month would help me with my tuition/rent/coke habit” 😉

    Good luck!

  75. Dashel says:

    There are many girls in the $5K range (and higher) who are FAR from drop dead gorgeous. Narcissism exists with SB’s as well.

    I have seen many party girl profiles in $5K+ range, and quite a few $5K profiles with poor grammer.
    FatBastardSD

    I’d add that many are aesthetically gorgeous but not attractive based on what they write. Of course that’s very subjective. I can look past a little bit of poor grammar depending, but some come off as angry and others convey nothing other than they want to be “pampered” and “treated like a princess”. Which I take as a given 😉

  76. lil_tm says:

    “Likewise there was more weirdness in some of the higher brackets.”

    “In the end I think you just have to find your own way . There’s no right or wrong other than doing something that’s not comfortable or dangerous. For both I think it might be productive if SA asked us to rank our objectives across 4-6 dimensions”

    Yes and Yes. :)

  77. lil_tm says:

    “If you would like some advise I would avoid telling SD’s that those who offer <$5K allowances are bottom feeders.If you would like some advise I would avoid telling SD’s that those who offer <$5K allowances are bottom feeders."

    I’m not saying I think that..I”m saying I think some of them think that….mmmkay? 😉

  78. Noob_SD says:

    @ lil_tm@Noob Just out of curiosity, what’s up those stairs that you’re headed to?

    Give you an OTK … Maybe you can give me one … let’s see how you have been doing with all those exercises and ow strong you really are …

    Headed to Podunk, TX … today. Meetup in Podunk?

  79. MicahSB says:

    ghaaaaa… Im so nervous about my first POT SD meeting… like I said, he seems very direct and verbal about his needs… today he sent me a text saying he would want to see me nearly every day! everyday?!!!!! I mean… i love the enthusiasm and dedication but i do want a life outside sugaring… Please help me… We haven’t discussed an amount yet and im already dreading the “first meeting sex/ allowance” negotiation…
    how do i bring up that I can only free up a certain amount of time and that this has to be held accountable of my expectations?! The bracket i posted on SD was ideally for a 1-2 a week scenario…
    how does one proceed on the initial allowance conversation?? i know he wants me to be clear about it… i just have no idea what his expectations are and since they seem pretty high i dot want to feel uncomfortable revealing mine…
    This is basically what has frighten me about diving into the Sugar Bowl but now I just really want to learn how to do this right…

  80. DianaSBinOC says:

    @Jersey Darling-

    “Lil said earlier in this thread that she’s looking for the lower end of the $1-3K range – she does not think people who pay below $5K are bottomfeeders. However, if you list $1-3K in your profile, your responses are likely to be significantly less desirable than if you post $3-5K. Posting such will actually get you more men i the $1-3K range, and less men offering sub $1K.”

    Actually I agree above. Try creating a SB profile and you’ll be blown away by the messages you receive. I started in the negotiable range when I first created a profile and was instantly disgusted.

    The 3k-5k range seems to be a comfortable spot for me. Also allowance range doesn’t deter any man from contacting you. He sees you’re allowance range, shrugs and contacts you anyway knowing very well he’s not interested in providing that allowance or in most cases no allowance at all.

    @flyr-

    Thank you for posting this.

    “I think without saying so JD really hit on an important point, that without some humanity involved, being a SB candidate can be a very degrading , meat market process.”

    I tend to disappear , hide my profile and take extra showers after 4-5 months of reading messages in my inbox.

  81. Jersey Darling says:

    @Flyr, unless someone wants to sing me a lullaby to put me to sleep I’ll probably be up for a while longer 😉

  82. flyr says:

    should have read FB IN drag

  83. flyr says:

    FB is drag as an SB – will the nightmares ever cease……?????

    I think without saying so JD really hit on an important point, that without some humanity involved, being a SB candidate can be a very degrading , meat market process.

    Perhaps SA should allow SB’s to bestow the Scarlet A (ass in asshole) and when a SD gets n number of such awards it appears in the corner of his photo , growing ever larger.

    Being in the consulting business I have a lot of sympathy for the SB. We have clients who simply say this is our problem, solve it , send us a bill and others who want to negotiate a fixed price and then change the scope of work . One of the joys of running the company is to be able to tell someone – let me refer you to the person you need.

    Jersey we’re keeping you up way past your bedtime………

  84. Jersey Darling says:

    “If you would like some advise I would avoid telling SD’s that those who offer <$5K allowances are bottom feeders . . . I understand that you are slowly being brainwashed by some of the blog SB's but I just want to help you out." -FatBastard

    Hey, first of all that's not what she was saying, second of all I resent that!

    Lil said earlier in this thread that she's looking for the lower end of the $1-3K range – she does not think people who pay below $5K are bottomfeeders. However, if you list $1-3K in your profile, your responses are likely to be significantly less desirable than if you post $3-5K. Posting such will actually get you more men i the $1-3K range, and less men offering sub $1K.

    You’re welcome to try creating an SB profile if you’d like to see for yourself.

  85. Principium says:

    @ lil_tm:

    The best way to research other SBs comprehensively is to create a proxy SD profile, because I don’t think that the “view similar profile” feature gives you a very accurate view of the actual SB landscape on SA.

  86. Principium says:

    @ noob:

    I had discovered more than a dozen of escorts on SA (collectively over my 3 separate stints on the site) who were asking either in the 5-10K or the 10K+ range and that was totally understandable even if not agreeable with. A Backpage or SF Red Book escort with an hourly rate of 300 may see up to 4 clients on a good day and none on some days (if they “tour” different cities, they will increase the odds of seeing more clients) so doing a simple math of 2 client at 300 per day over 15 days, easily adds up to 9K gross. After deducting for “overheads” (fixed & variable) it is not hard to comprehend as to why these escort SBs aspire to get allowances in that said range.

    Now move onto the 700+ “higher end” escorts who may only see one client per day (some easily see up to 3 if DDG and also a fresh face in the LA Hobby scene) and do the same math for the 15 days and again you will see the simple math.

    These escort SBs are all of course very unrealistic in their approach, but their motivations are totally understandable.

    P.S. I have read the postings by that very same Provider SB whom you had referred to on T E R.

  87. Principium says:

    @ FBSD: “The question was if SD’s (which I am one) felt that higher allowance SB’s were more attractive. In my opinion this is not the case. There are many girls in the $5K range (and higher) who are FAR from drop dead gorgeous. Narcissism exists with SB’s as well.

    I have seen many party girl profiles in $5K+ range, and quite a few $5K profiles with poor grammer.

    As a SD who used the site for a short while I just don’t see the same things that you do. Perhaps other SD’s will give their opinions on this as well.”

    I completely agree with FBSD on this above assessment and that was my exact observation. The percentage of DDG girls who were very well versed, seemingly smart and erudite dropped as I searched in the 5-10K and the 10K plus range.

  88. flyr says:

    The posted allowance issues has a lot of different dimensions.

    If you look at three of the many dimensions

    allowance – longevity – nurturing

    you can probably maximize any two
    (my guess)

    If the SD is looking for arm candy or the same warm feeling he would have walking out to the garage and admiring HIS leased Ferrari then allowance is not likely to be an issue.

    My perception from talking with a number of SB over the years is that there’s also a lot of tire kickers, especially in the lower allowance brackets. Likewise there was more weirdness in some of the higher brackets.

    I’ve used the example before, you go to the market to get some salt. When you find it there is generic brand salt and there Morton and Leslie. Unless the generic is from China it’s all the same stuff but better packaging and brand recognition creates the perception of value.

    The featured SB photos create a lot of hits, most of which will be geographically irrelevant because there’s nothing but a picture. I’m not sure how they decide who is displayed and if it is changed for different subscribers.

    In the end I think you just have to find your own way . There’s no right or wrong other than doing something that’s not comfortable or dangerous. For both I think it might be productive if SA asked us to rank our objectives across 4-6 dimensions

  89. FatBastardSD says:

    @lil_tm

    If you would like some advise I would avoid telling SD’s that those who offer <$5K allowances are bottom feeders.

    The Guru posted rough salary requirement of $255K/year (I think this is a high but in the ball park) for a $3K allowance. Not sure how well a bottom feeder analogy would go over well in this case ;-).

    I understand that you are slowly being brainwashed by some of the blog SB's but I just want to help you out. You know I want what's best for you…I have felt this way since you first posted…did I mention I can get you a discount on athletic wear as well as running shoes?

  90. FatBastardSD says:

    @lil_tm

    lil_tm says:
    May 29, 2013 at 7:54 pm
    @Noob & Fatty..but that’s just it..it’s not your perception of is she’s worth it, it’s hers. In other words, she is asking for what she thinks she deserves, not what you think she does.

    If you browse the gals who ask for $5k up, they are all drop dead gorgeous. So, I’m only insinuating that because these girls know they are above average looks-wise, they will ask for more. Why should they hang with the bottom feeders when they can get the cream of the crop? I do believe that is how some girls think. Especially high maintenance ones.

    The question was if SD’s (which I am one) felt that higher allowance SB’s were more attractive. In my opinion this is not the case. There are many girls in the $5K range (and higher) who are FAR from drop dead gorgeous. Narcissism exists with SB’s as well.

    I have seen many party girl profiles in $5K+ range, and quite a few $5K profiles with poor grammer.

    As a SD who used the site for a short while I just don’t see the same things that you do. Perhaps other SD’s will give their opinions on this as well.

  91. lil_tm says:

    @Noob
    Just out of curiosity, what’s up those stairs that you’re headed to?

  92. Jersey Darling says:

    @Noob, I just… It’s the thong! I cave I cave!

  93. Noob_SD says:

    @ JerseyD @Noob – it’s all fun and games until someone makes me want to poke my eyes out!

    I am a little dense, everywhere … You wouldn’t be hinting that my pic is bothering you, would you? :)

    @ ContentSB That’s the second one I found with an arrest record on SA.

  94. SugarySpicey says:

    TM, you’ve got to sexualize the convo, then it isn’t so awkward it’s hot! I’ll use that as a blog topic at some point.

  95. ContentSB says:

    @Noob — I don’t think it’s harsh at all…if a simple google search is pulling up some sketchy information, it’s probably better to play it safe. If an SB found incriminating information about a pot SD she would be immediately encouraged to cancel the date. Shouldn’t really be any different for a SD.

  96. Jersey Darling says:

    @Noob – it’s all fun and games until someone makes me want to poke my eyes out!

  97. lil_tm says:

    “I still maintain that you might see similar results with no allowance listed.”

    I think you’re probably right Spice, but I hate the allowance discussion and I am only trying to make myself feel better by hoping they read the outline and use it as a launching pad.

    Or maybe the $3-5k thing could be a clever idea to bounce around that conversation without it being so…..uncomfortable. Like make a joke out of it…”sooo you know how my profile says $3-5k? Well, it’s your lucky day because I’m not requiring an allowance that is nearly that much!”

    I’m kidding, of course. Did I mention I hate that part of the convo?

  98. Noob_SD says:

    @ ContentSB No … It is a little harsh … there is a chance that my research is throwing an outlier here … But I am going to play it safe.

  99. lil_tm says:

    @Noob & Fatty..but that’s just it..it’s not your perception of is she’s worth it, it’s hers. In other words, she is asking for what she thinks she deserves, not what you think she does.

    If you browse the gals who ask for $5k up, they are all drop dead gorgeous. So, I’m only insinuating that because these girls know they are above average looks-wise, they will ask for more. Why should they hang with the bottom feeders when they can get the cream of the crop? I do believe that is how some girls think. Especially high maintenance ones.

  100. ContentSB says:

    @Noob — So, the obvious question is…will you still meet up with your pot SB tomorrow?

  101. Noob_SD says:

    @ lil_tm I was wondering if the allowance expectation really has something to do with it. Maybe they think if a girl is asking that much, she knows she is worth it? I have browsed the girls profiles and it does seem like the femmes in that allowance bracket are better looking and have better things to say. Just some food for thought…maybe some of the SDs can weigh in on that.

    In my limited experience stated allowance range has no correlation with SB quality (quality being defined as what I am looking for in a person). Interestingly one pot SB I met and had lunch with (no chemistry – I dropped it), did the same experiment you did – had two profiles, one with $1k – $3k and the other in $3k – $5k. I don’t know what became of her, don’t see her any more. A former media personality, she had fallen on hard times.

    Many SBs and SDs are turned off by the trust issue. It is hard to know who is a fake/flake/John/Escort. I am supposed to meet a pot SB tomorrow. Her number is the same as an escort’s in another state (I found out from a simple Google search). Her name is in the arrest records for the same state for prostitution. She wants $3k to $5k too ….. Go figure! Interestingly, I saw a posting by a lady on TER (BTW I have never been with an escort – believe it or not) – she was bragging about how she was making $3k+ allowance from SDs, all the while, while she was escorting on the side and the SDs had no clue. So long story short – the higher allowance range does not equate better quality in my eyes.

  102. SugarySpicey says:

    TM – that’s true re : perceived value, I’ve noticed that with allowance expectations. Girls who seem like party/college girls, have poor grammar, or who come across wild and rough do tend to concentrate in the $1K bracket. (Not that I am saying that is all you’ll find in that range). Bumping your posted expectations or removing them altogether puts you in a different competition set, which is where the men you want are looking. I still maintain that you might see similar results with no allowance listed.

  103. FatBastardSD says:

    @lil_tm

    “I have browsed the girls profiles and it does seem like the femmes in that allowance bracket are better looking and have better things to say. Just some food for thought…maybe some of the SDs can weigh in on that.”

    Beauty is in the eye of the beholder but I have never seen a connection between a higher allowance and better looking SB’s on the SA site. For the SB’s that I have met allowance requirements seem to be driven more by the SB’s financial situation rather than appearance.

    One thing that I have noticed is that if you see “model” as the SB’s occupation the allowance request will be high (regardless of the SB’s looks).

  104. Noob_SD says:

    @ lil_tm That is what is also interesting. They all have a pic of some sort up..hiding most of their faces. Most of them have suits on.

    Me too! Just have my back towards the camera … climbing the stairs … no suit though

  105. lil_tm says:

    One of them (the shoe fetish guy) dropped his phone number right out the gate.
    That does happen sometimes, so that is not that unusual.

  106. lil_tm says:

    “One more thing, TM. Do these SDs have pictures on their profiles, or did they give you access upon contact? Do you recognize any of them just from browsing before your new profile was up? Wondering where these goodies are coming from, do they stay in hiding mode normally?”

    That is what is also interesting. They all have a pic of some sort up..hiding most of their faces. Most of them have suits on.
    The only exception is a guy with no pic at all. I am pretty sure he contacted me on my other profile, but the rest are fresh.

    I was wondering if the allowance expectation really has something to do with it. Maybe they think if a girl is asking that much, she knows she is worth it?
    I have browsed the girls profiles and it does seem like the femmes in that allowance bracket are better looking and have better things to say. Just some food for thought…maybe some of the SDs can weigh in on that.

  107. sweetie says:

    TM “Not sure how long I’ll keep it active. Nothing on there is outlandish in the sense that it’s crazy sounding, but in the sense that none of it is even remotely true. I kept it short and sweet. It could easily be a real profile.”

    Then give it a try, who knows? Use the leads.

  108. sweetie says:

    One more thing, TM. Do these SDs have pictures on their profiles, or did they give you access upon contact? Do you recognize any of them just from browsing before your new profile was up? Wondering where these goodies are coming from, do they stay in hiding mode normally?

  109. lil_tm says:

    @Spicey-email sent

    @Jersey-Trial and Error, my friend. :)

    “Lil, keep in mind that you’re getting more hits because the profile is new.”

    Hmm..not so sure about that. My other profile is fairly new as well. What’s also interesting is it’s not the same guys.
    And yep, the quality is much improved.

    Not sure how long I’ll keep it active. Nothing on there is outlandish in the sense that it’s crazy sounding, but in the sense that none of it is even remotely true. I kept it short and sweet. It could easily be a real profile.
    I mean, my actual profile is slightly dishonest but only to protect myself and so no one recognizes me but it’s close enough to the truth, ya know?

  110. sweetie says:

    TM “the guys it is attracting are more professional looking, more attractive, and better communicators–for whatever reason.”

    Dream come true, Lil! You might be onto something 😉

  111. sweetie says:

    TM “So, I created a new profile and put $3k-$5k.
    Well, I have to say that you were right.

    Not only has this profile received more hits than the other, the guys it is attracting are more professional looking, more attractive, and better communicators–for whatever reason. Who would of thought being greedy and high maintenance is the way to go? (just kidding, ladies )

    And oddly enough, exactly what you said would happen, did. Guys who have $1k-$3k in their profile allowance section are the ones responding to it.”

    Lil, keep in mind that you’re getting more hits because the profile is new. Now about the quality of the inquiries, that’s definitely interesting. How long do you plan to keep the new profile active? Give the experiment more than a few days… How ridiculous did the new profile sound and what type of pictures did you post?

    What do you think would happen if you changed the amount on your true profile?

    Scientific method, indeed!

  112. ContentSB says:

    @Guru — Thank you, sir! You’re a gem :)

  113. Jersey Darling says:

    @Lil_tm – Thanks for the update; I’m glad it turned out to be a solution for you! I don’t know why it is, as you know my expectations are modest and I’m a very honest and open communicator. But I found through trial and error that it works!

    It’s nice because it also gives you the upper hand because they’re coming in below your expected range. All of a sudden they feel more like they still owe you if they offer you $2K, rather than feeling like you should owe them a favor 😉

  114. SugarySpicey says:

    TM! I want I want! Email me his profile utah spicey at gmail.

  115. lil_tm says:

    @Jersey Darlin’

    So, the other day when we were discussing the section of the profile where you outline the financial desires of your arrangement, I decided to embark on a little experiment.

    You suggested requesting more than you really needed and that it would bring in fellows whose allowance amounts are actually similar to yours, rather than interest from gentlemen who could not meet those expectations, but figured they were close enough. (Isn’t that kind of like a girl saying she’s thin, but turns out to me Mama Cass?)

    So, I created a new profile and put $3k-$5k.
    Well, I have to say that you were right.

    Not only has this profile received more hits than the other, the guys it is attracting are more professional looking, more attractive, and better communicators–for whatever reason. Who would of thought being greedy and high maintenance is the way to go? (just kidding, ladies ;))

    And oddly enough, exactly what you said would happen, did. Guys who have $1k-$3k in their profile allowance section are the ones responding to it.

    I find this interesting.
    I won’t be able to answer any of them because I’d risk sounding like a sociopath since everything in it is false, including but not limited to the allowance expectation.

    Also, one of the guys is looking for a non sexual relationship that involves modeling stiletto boots and other sexy shoes. Fetish guys Spicey..you interested. 😉

  116. flyr says:

    Tradeoff between gifts and dining etc –

    It’s great to see the range of sb responses.

    It’s really about needs and communication. There are SD’s for whom it’s important to take their arm candy out to be seen (even requiring that they provide more exposure than is comfortable) and other who think watching the sun go down from the deck with some good wine (or martini) and cheese and discussing all sorts of things(solving the worlds problems) is great. There’s also the opposite where the SB needs to go to expensive places for her self validation (and bragging rights) . It’s about finding the right blend for both…….

    If someone is struggling then maximizing cash is perhaps the best gift but a little quality entertainment is also a great investment.

    re allergies – I’m a good customer and casual friend of one of the first biodynamic wine producers in CA he and his wife are absolutely committed to natural farming but when it comes to the final stages of wine production virtually all have some chemicals added. I’m sensitive to the sulphate content of some wines.

  117. SugarySpicey says:

    The Spa Gift is my very favorite! And, SDs it leaves super soft silky skin for you – everybody wins.

  118. Jersey Darling says:

    And I should amend that to $1-2K… that plus gifts would make me feel incredibly special 😉

  119. Jersey Darling says:

    I’m one of those girls where cash is king. I’m a first generation daughter of an immigrant – until I have hundreds of thousands of dollars as a safety net, I will probably ALWAYS prefer cash.

    That said, the best (I’ve found, not for what I want but what I actually need) is a combination. $1K a month in cash is wonderful for a long term arrangement if it will be consistent. It essentially covers my rent and makes me not long for the days when I was living at home – because I still feel the pull to live there. If the rest is gifts, that’s awesome because you can pamper me in ways I would not pamper myself. If you buy me a spa gift card, I would love it because I just wouldn’t allow myself to pamper myself that way – I’m too frugal. You doing it for me forces me to slow down and really enjoy the experience. Plus it’s smart – making me feel super pampered and in touch with the tactile, luxurious gifts, etc WILL make me feel even more sexual and make me want to share that healthy glow with you.

  120. SugarySpicey says:

    SuperDash and Softi – I don’t think anybody believed Beck, but we believed there was an element of underlying truth, and he was entertaining – especially ’cause at the time Softi was being such a Bastard.

    Re: gifts vs. cash I think cash tends to be king with all SBs except me. But, it was never discussed other than the “what are you looking for” level of conversation. I don’t think dinners and hotel rooms should count against my sugar gift$ those are just the cost of doing business. Of course, for an SDs internal budgeting he may want to think about those things.

    As far as sugar creep, asking an SD to “help you out with rent” etc. after you already have an allowance is TACKY! Stop doing that whoever the girls are that do it! It gives us all a bad name. Learn to manage your finances!

  121. Dashel says:

    JD beer and alcohol contains histamine and you could be allergic to the grains used.  So might be only certain types of beer or wine.  Have you noticed it’s everything alcoholic?  If it is that might be an intolerance.
     
    I agree, as I have always thought an allowance is just the starting point for a SD’s spending on his SB.
    – SDGuru

    Definitely agree with this.  As for the fine dining and gifts I wonder what other SD’s approach is though.  I tend to go with smaller thoughtful gifts punctuated by larger here and there.  Dinner same thing.  A nice restaurant but not elite level.  Sorry I only know NYNJ so something like a Lupa or maybe Del Posto.  You can’t do Per Se or il Mulino every time. At least I wouldn’t want to. 
     
    Going back to FB bringing up that guy Beck’s 1500 lunch thing, which I now understand was BS, but when I first read that I was thinking “Damn if that was me I’d have said  let’s just go to the local Italian place  and give me the 1350”. 

    Does any SD discuss this sort of thing with their SB to see if she’d rather have more allowance and less gifts?  I’d think it’s best to make the call on your own based on the individual but I’m curious.

  122. Beach_Girl says:

    Hello Sugars

    Jersey~ I tried to mail you… not sure my email is working ?!?!? you may be allergic to alcoholic toxins. get some benedryl for allergies.

    Have a great day sugars 😀

  123. Jersey Darling says:

    Random question guys…

    Have you guys ever gotten itchy after drinking alcohol? Had a couple of beers last night, and I am SO ITCHY today. I was itchy last night too, but usually it stops by the next day. I actually felt it start happening with the second beer.

    I’ve had this happen before with Tequila and Vodka… so itchy!! Can it be an allergy to certain types of alcohol? Have any of you ever felt something like that?

  124. SugarySpicey says:

    That’s the problem with me KittyKat, I can be bought, I’m just very, very expensive.

  125. Lo says:

    well the bad news is he’s not the most generous SD I’ve ever had. The good news? I will probably be ending my dry spell soon 😀

  126. Lo says:

    ughhhh I know kittykat AAAHHHHHHHHHH

  127. Lo says:

    he also told me “i know you’ll fall in love with me”. Talk about..confidence? lol

  128. KittyKat says:

    Lo, sweety 😀 That is a boyfriend material and not a SD 😀

    But, if you think he is what you want – go for it 😀

  129. Lo says:

    I just got back from my meet. Okay so I’m pleasantly surprised…he is definitely someone I would date outside of the sugar world. However he is not the most generous kind of SD cuz well he’s not THAT much older than me and he is quite attractive. So I’m torn…there is a sub I might meet up with and there would be no sex involved with that so I wouldn’t really be cheating. But yeah I reaaaalllly hit it off with this one, he is successful and practical but seems to have a higher consciousness and is willing to open up to me which is incredibly refreshing considering all the closed off dudes I have dated in the past.

  130. KittyKat says:

    What I like about Spicey, is that no matter the faults with the SD, a good splash of sugar, always and in time, will make up for it 😀

    And I do not mean it in a nasty way :)

    Talk about a sugar tooth 😀

  131. London Girl says:

    @Rosie, thanks for the quick recap!

    Carmen Electra is uber-hot, just goes to show that age doesn’t determine hotness. Also not a fan of ripped muscles on women and as for fake tan… Who has the time?

    I’m siding with you on meet-ups, I’m a very private person at the best of times and when dabbling in something like this… Recipe for disaster! I do have an infallible knack for running into people I know absolutely everywhere though so maybe that’s made me more cautious…

  132. flyr says:

    @LO “how am I going to be like yep yep let’s do this arrangement thing and know there’s an expiration date going forward. I’m not a dude. No can do.”

    The expiration date is more like an early termination option, there’s no mandate for him (or you) to exercise the option.

    I think the text of the secret SD/SB flight permit (as mandated by Midwest in her torch ceremony ) is that it’s a commitment until disinterest do us part

    In all seriousness it’s a topic worthy of discussion…….. how do you change your approach if you think a relationship might have potential to grow out of an arrangement.

    But that’s all for tonight ………

    • SD Guru says:

      @ContentSB
      “I was going to link her to some older blog posts on safety and profile tips.”

      There used to be a “Dating Tips” section on the right side of the blog where these articles can be found. I have restored it and I hope everyone can see it.

      @Principium
      “I think it is wise to consider that whatever the agreed upon allowance is… an SD must allow up to 25% over that amount for being “hit up” on extra allowance alone.”

      I agree, as I have always thought an allowance is just the starting point for a SD’s spending on his SB. Throw in fine dining, shopping/gifts, airfare and hotel for travel, the cost of doing fun things in general, and the overall spending by a SD could easily double. SD’s should keep this in mind as they have the allowance discussion with a potential SB.

  133. Principium says:

    FB, you silver tongued devil, you! I don’t know how you quite do it Sir, but I know that only you can. I’m just envisioning lil_tm now being a sparking body of flesh simmering in her sexual juices. Tip of the hat to you Sire!

  134. FatBastardSD says:

    @lil_tm

    You are correct, you were never part of that clique. You always stood apart, different, special, I would even say magical but I fear that would open my heart to you too soon. Ever since I read your first blog post I knew we had a connection…I knew we were ment to meet…I knew you would offer me a significant discout on your allowance requirements…and allow me to pay said allowance with post dated checks…

  135. lil_tm says:

    @Fatty-I wasn’t part of that clique, so I am exempt.

    *slithers away* 😉

  136. FatBastardSD says:

    Intellectual SD’s beat out the rich SD’s! I guess Beck had it all wrong, talking about $1500 lunch dates with a $1500 gift thrown in was obviously the wrong approach…I guess all of those wet panties you girls had were due to his witty blog posts :-).

  137. lil_tm says:

    ^Can it at least be almond milk or coconut milk?? Sheesh! Help a sister out!

  138. SugarySpicey says:

    Seriously though, he bought me and my girlfriends a trip to Mexico! Are you saying you couldn’t overlook that?

  139. lil_tm says:

    “UNLESS you find your pot SD smells like milk.”

    I was thinking that one was more like a LOWlight. 😉

  140. Rosie says:

    Quick highlights for Londong Girl:

    In no particular order and I’m sure I’m leaving some things out.

    — We pretty much all smashed this blog post to smithereens. Not only for the grammatical errors, but for the fallacies in the study as they relate to sugar dating.

    — We all think Carmen Electra is a hot 41 yr old, but p90X beats her striptease workouts (unless we want to turn our men on while we’re working out).

    — Ripped abs and fake tans on a woman are not the favored look for men.

    — Some on the blog think selecting ‘negotiable’ on your profile gives you a better chance of getting what you want, others think placing your selection above what you desire is better.

    — There’s discussions of a blog meetup in NYC in June/August. Some are enthusiastic about the idea, some are disinclined (pointing to self here).

    And finally…

    — Allowance and gifts should not be expected if you aren’t putting out on the first date………..UNLESS you find your pot SD smells like milk. Then grab your prezzies and run like a headless chicken outta there!

    (Of course I’m kidding about the last one. Sort of.)

  141. Lo says:

    oh boy he’s reciting poetry through text guys…might be a long night

  142. lil_tm says:

    “Milk scented men AND DBs??? Oh good lord. This blog is going south FAST! Lol.”

    I’m pretty sure if I ever experienced those two things, I’d have to give it up altogether.

    “I see skittles in your future! Taste the rainbow”

    Prince, if you go that route, let me know. I’ve got a couple friends you may wanna meet that really know how to let their freak flag fly! 😉

  143. Rosie says:

    Milk scented men AND DBs??? Oh good lord. This blog is going south FAST! Lol.

    Seriously though, super smart + well-read = yum, yum, yummy! Intellectual stimulation gets other things stimulated pretty quickly. Usually means he’s smart about a woman’s anatomy too! Prrrrr…. 😉

    @flyr

    Fantastic amendment. Manage expectations! Yes. Yes. Yesssss! (the extra S’s are for added enthusiasm on the ‘under the tablecloth’ mention.) 😉

    @Princi

    I see skittles in your future! Taste the rainbow…. 😉

  144. lil_tm says:

    “That’s the problem TM, he’s kind of the holy grail (although not hot, but super smart and well read – and that’s what does it for me). Damn the maybe-ex wife. Commence the plotting!”

    Amen sister. Get me a man that can stimulate me mentally, and I may just put up with his DBs. 😉

  145. flyR says:

    @ Rosie – I’m 100% with you on the comment about not feeling obligated to have sex on the first date.

    My only amendment would be to manage expectations conservatively.

    Presumably your goal is to build the foundation for a great relationship. You don’t want your potential SD to leave the first or any meeting thinking there was no sex because of some unknown.

    Most men are not here for drama. Far better to prepare your date by letting him know that first meeting sex is not on the table (or under the tablecloth) . You can always change that to YES, but going from maybe to NO can be damaging.

  146. Principium says:

    I made no secrets of my man-ho-ness. WTF, a funeral?! You’re weird 😉

  147. Lo says:

    now who are you calling a ho when you’ve got yourself on display like that for all the blog to see??? 😀 and nice try but I know for a fact that he’s at a funeral right now. Hopefully I can cheer him up

    Thanks Sugary x

  148. Principium says:

    Sorry Ho, er, sorry again Lo 😛

    Something came up and I’ll have to cancel for tonight 😀

  149. SugarySpicey says:

    Good luck Lo! What he doesn’t know doesn’t hurt 😉

    Princi – tell me please, what does Femme Fatale mean? I’d like to employ it in pursuit of nefarious doctor-snagging deeds.

  150. SugarySpicey says:

    Re: TM “sounds like the holy grail to me.”

    That’s the problem TM, he’s kind of the holy grail (although not hot, but super smart and well read – and that’s what does it for me). Damn the maybe-ex wife. Commence the plotting!

  151. Lo says:

    oh and flyr no matter who I meet for coffee you will always remain my number one crush 😀

  152. Lo says:

    alrightey so I’m meeting a potential tonight for coffee. He’s only a few years older than me, looking for something discreet, killer abs lol, lives right in my city, he’s exotic which is pretty hot, but he’s looking for sugar monogamy so we’ll see..

  153. Principium says:

    I speculate that Spicey is going in an overdrive Femme Fatale mode.

    Welcome back LG. Thank you Alana. Rosie when you say colorful, do you see rainbows in my future? 😉

  154. lil_tm says:

    “Re:the Doctor, I knew I shouldn’t have listened to all you ladies who look for attraction, chemistry, and spark. No good can come from feeling that way about a successful man.”

    Sounds like the Holy Grail to me. Must be a catch.

    If nothing else, I say just find someone with a good character and call it a day. As long as he doesn’t have the breath of a newborn baby. 😉

  155. London Girl says:

    Gosh a couple of weeks away and not a chance in hell of catching up on everything! Anyone want to recap for me very quickly anything important or any scurrilous gossip I may have missed???

    And milk flavoured men??? Eurgh!

  156. Lo says:

    Re:the Doctor, I knew I shouldn’t have listened to all you ladies who look for attraction, chemistry, and spark. No good can come from feeling that way about a successful man.

    *Shakes fist, swears to only hump milk-flavored dirty old men going forward.

    I hear this though. If I found a successful age appropriate guy on this site with an awesome personality and looks that I would normally swoon for and whose great in bed how am I going to be like yep yep let’s do this arrangement thing and know there’s an expiration date going forward. I’m not a dude. No can do.

  157. Rosie says:

    Milk flavored men.

    I just threw up a little.

    😳

  158. Alana says:

    ——–> Blog crush at Principium :)

  159. SugarySpicey says:

    TM – this guy was kinky, but his fetish was focused on a different body part.

    Re:the Doctor, I knew I shouldn’t have listened to all you ladies who look for attraction, chemistry, and spark. No good can come from feeling that way about a successful man.

    *Shakes fist, swears to only hump milk-flavored dirty old men going forward.

  160. lil_tm says:

    milk?? blech!

    Maybe he had a cow tit suckling fetish..you seem to know those types, Spice. 😉

  161. Lo says:

    sugary I think there’s something in the water right now, because my regular love life has been an epic fail lately.

  162. SugarySpicey says:

    SlapDash – all I want to do is hump, he’s the one who said he couldn’t have casual feelings for me. A motorboat from a nice guy is all I’m looking for. Grr!

  163. Dashel says:

    Too vulnerable to date but not too vulnerable to motorboat?

  164. SugarySpicey says:

    Grrrr, why would Dr. Lurker go out of his way, unasked, to pull strings with a friend and do something sweet for me if he’s “too vulnerable” to date me! #Ihatemixedsignals

  165. ContentSB says:

    I have a friend thinking about diving into sugar, so I was going to link her to some older blog posts on safety and profile tips. They used to be listed on the right hand side of the blog, but I’m not seeing them there anymore with the new format. I’m not even sure how old some of those posts were, so I’m not dying to dig through the archives, but would really like her to read some of those oldies but goodies! Does that list still exist somewhere?? Guru…come out of hiding, please! :)

  166. Alana says:

    If sugar daddies are a myth I should tell the IRS my sugar money is not real either :)

  167. Rosie says:

    Lol, Princi, I went with “cagey” rather than “cautious”. Colorful words better suit your personality. 😉

  168. MicahSB says:

    @Principium Glad we could clarify this :)

    Ill keep you guys updated :)
    Merci beaucoup

  169. MicahSB says:

    EWWWW Milk! hahahaha!

    “In arrangements, bluntness is the best policy.”
    See, this is what im struggling with…. i feel like im actually lucky i ended up finding a POT SD who is so blunt but its so hard for me to do….
    he was trying to talk numbers on Skype or just pushing me to tell him exactly what my expectations were… it was extremely difficult…. (which was why i posted the expectations bracket on my profile to start with).
    I really hate having to ask. (does that make me a bad SB?)
    hopefully i can just ask once we meet and figure out something that works for us.

  170. Principium says:

    @ MicahSB: your second post was much more revealing about your intentions & also about the details entailed in your profile. My “cagyness” regarding relocation or what I termed as project SBs came from SBs who were not upfront about their intentions and their geographical location, because I had always limited my search to about a 100 mile radius. Anyone else whom I had corresponded with (with the exception of a few very “hot looking” prospects off of the rotating featured page, just out of sheer curiosity) were the out of area SBs who had actually contacted me.

    With that said, I do also see a definite merit in a short term sugar based fling if you do not wish to remain alone in a new city or do not wish to seek a more conventional short term relationship and all the potential drama which ithat could evoke! In fact to flip the scenario, I had heard about stories of married SDs who were relocating to a new area for a few months because of work and were looking for SBs for NSA sugar based companionship.

    Bon chance with your endeavors and yes I still maintain that your are so getting laid on Monday 😛

  171. SugarySpicey says:

    Re: milk mouth, Ewwww! What would cause that?

    I don’t know Jersey, he always had it, even right after he brushed his teeth there was a milky hint. But I never saw him drinking milk. Resulted in a relationship where there wasn’t much kissing. I had to keep his mouth otherwise occupied.

  172. Jersey Darling says:

    Ewwwww @ milk mouth! Oh my god, I want to gag!!! What would cause that?! Ughhh!

    My advice is straightforward Micah; you seem to have your stuff together. If you’re feeling things, accept the gifts and move forward. If you’re not, wait until you feel comfortable. If he’s persistent in offering you gifts, accept them – some men like a woman that they can spoil, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Just make sure your intentions are clear the whole way through.

  173. SugarySpicey says:

    … On the other hand, if you’re not feeling him on date one, don’t accept the gifts. If you’re pretty sure that you’ll want to have sex, but you just need a couple days and a little canoodling that leads up to sex, tell him. In arrangements, bluntness is the best policy.

  174. SugarySpicey says:

    Errr meant to say you’re more prepared.

    On the allowance: to take or not to take … if you’re pretty sure you’ll want to have sex with him soon, at least give some kissing to test the water. My last SD had already given me thousands of dollars in gift$ before our first kiss – at which point I discovered that he tasted like milk (all the time). Would have been nice to know that early on. I still probably would have proceeded as other elements were very hot, but the milk mouth was troubling once I’d given him an all signals go that we were going to hump.

  175. SugarySpicey says:

    Micah – don’t worry so much about which date it is. Listen to your inner thighs! If you’ve already vetted him, and he lays out the sugar, I’m pretty confident you’ll WANT to have sex on the first date, sugar tends to accelerate desire – especially if his dirty talk is already steaming you up.

    Now, if you haven’t researched him fully, and/or if the sugar isn’t forthcoming, by all means wait until your more informed and better prepared.

  176. Dashel says:

    Hi Micah,
     
    My only real criteria is both parties need to be comfortable with whatever they do.  So if you’re not feeling it, let him know.  I haven’t done Skype in a while but I can see getting a certain degree of comfort that way.  If anything I think your odds are much better that you’ll have a good first meet assuming everything else has gone well.  So go with an open mind and don’t feel pressured either way. 
     
    My only issue is this doesn’t seem to be any sort of time constrained arrangement.  Meaning you get there Monday but how often can you see each other once you arrive?  I don’t see the need to rush.  If he has a crazy schedule and can’t see you for weeks or months at a time, I have no experience there so maybe he might feel the need to accelerate everything I suppose.  But if not, meet up and see how things go.  In fact I’d tell him straight up now.  He may be booking hotels or planning on when to take you back to his place.  Setting expectations is important so if it might not happen, tell him that.
     
    Good luck!

  177. KittyKat says:

    And, Mica. ONLY ever sleep with a man if you want to. Not thinking about Sugar gifts.
    If you do, you will feel revolting the next morning. Unless you are ready for it.

    Good luck in the sugar world 😉 It is certainly fun 😀

  178. KittyKat says:

    Yay! Daddy is taking me to Paris on my BD 😀 (Well, slightly before my actualy birthday :P)

    And…. Re meet up… Might be fun 😛 I will be in NY in June.

  179. Rosie says:

    ⌃⌃ Darn it. I’ve been staring at spreadsheets for far too many hours. Bed time for this chicky pooh!

  180. Rosie says:

    @MicahSB,/b>

    PS – like I said, he may insist you keep any gifts (monetary & otherwise) that he brings for you on the first date even if things don’t get physical. Just go with your gut instinct on whether or not you should accept. Again, it may be a genuine gesture on his part to help accelerate the comfort level. But DO NOT keep it if you feel you are not going to see him again.

  181. Rosie says:

    @MicahSB

    This is the beauty about this blog community with its diverse personalities filled with varying experiences. I can see Princi’s point of view; coming from an SD who is being vigilant in the areas of “getting burned” because some of his experiences have made him cagey in dealing with the scenario you described. Whereas, I, (a retired) SB, with 99.9% awesome arrangement experiences, didn’t even think your relocation was dependent upon full support of an SD at all. I was focused on your main concern of “sex on the first date or not.” (Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus? 😉 )

    I’m sure when the blog is “alive” once again in the morning, you’ll get feedback from other SDs and SBs as well. In the end, you’ll do what’s best for you, but it’s always wonderful to gain insight from those experienced in this arena. Hopefully the wind does blow your skirt away on the first date! :-)

  182. MicahSB says:

    @Rosie
    your message is extremely helpful. If for any reason i don’t feel it happening for me or the pressure makes me too uncomfortable, I will turn down the donations… simple as that… I just didnt want to come off as a pessimist. i understand that the Sugar world has different rules than the normal dating world but Im just not one to give it up so quick if im not sure no one is going to settle for less than what they truly want out of this relationship. And who knows. he may have a remarkable charm in person i wont be able to resist and the wind might blow my skirt away :)

  183. MicahSB says:

    @Principium
    I understand perfectly how my message may have come off. Id like to add im also falling victim of a slight language barrier (French being my first language)
    Me joining SA was far from a need or a sign of desperation. My actual job with my actual income is transferring me over to this new city where my transportation and lodging is actually covered and has been since far before i decided to join SA. I’m actually in no rush to find someone although i figured it would be the perfect opportunity for me to experience this kind of dating since i have no interest in starting a new relationship in a location i may have to leave at the end of my contract.
    I stated in the very first paragraph of my profile, the city i currently live in and the duration of my stay.
    my use of the term “need” is based solely on the idea of a mutually beneficial relationship rather than a summer filled with boyfriends and drama. I “need” a breathe of fresh air, I need “some freedom”, I “need” to experience and enjoy this summer as much as i can.
    I do have an Income (little but sufficiant) but but a little extra Sugar wouldn’t hurt and actually would come in handy when exploring new horizons… No hunger there. the “needs” being what i actually value myself to be as a companion. (no bragging there i promise 😉 )
    also im realizing i didn’t make it clear enough on my original post but the POT SD wanted to wire me money before my arrival and to “make sure i got there ok” and i insisted on waiting for our first meet in order to find out if we had the chemistry without the pressure of already “owing him”. i assured him i was financially ok and would be glad to accept his gifts once we’ve established that we are a good match.
    This hasn’t tempered the pressure somehow because hes overly excited (which is deeply flattering) but also very verbal about HIS needs sexually. I’m far from being against becoming his little sex kitten if things work out between us. ive stated very clearly that im far from being a prude and that the whole idea excites me enormously. The things he tells me would def make me hot and steamy if i had already met him and established a chemistry.( I love dirty talk! )But i do want ONE SD and only one and im not gonna base myself solely on their generosity but also a level of comfort i have with them personality wise.
    so im insisting on keeping it classy till we meet. which unfortunately may have come across as “you are so getting laid on Monday”

  184. Principium says:

    @ All: the post which Rosie responded to has a timeline stamp of 12:40 PM (I’m looking at PDT, but yours could be different) from a newbie who is apparently getting moderated and therefore the post got lost in the shuffle. Very astute of Rosie to have spotted it.

    Here is the second paragraph:

    “I’m a newbie on SA. I’m moving to a different city and an arrangement was exactly was i need for a new start.”

    I have had some brushes with these types of POT SBs by communicating with them, but never met them in person because a “project” SB was completely off limits for me. My experience has been that SBs who wish to relocate actually chose the city to where they are going to relocate to as their domicile city, rather than the one where they currently reside at. They never disclosed this in their profiles and it wasn’t till the 2nd email (whether through SA or directly) when I came to find out about the relocation. This was always a deal breaker for me because I knew it would mean too much neediness and that is the impression which I get from MicahSB, but willing to be corrected if I’m wrong.

    My experiences were that these SBs needed assistance with rent very quickly if not almost immediately and in some cases did not also have transportation (very important here in Cali) or even a job! Of course I am not saying this being the case with MicahSB as she also states this:

    “…i received a lot of messages but one SD has caught my attention over the last few weeks by being very clear and enthusiastic about meeting me and about being interested in me only and being able to afford all my needs and an allowance for the duration of my stay ( 3 months)…”

    Note the operative words “need” in the first paragraph and then the phrase “all my needs” in the second quote from MicahSB.

    Those who have gotten to know me through the blogs ought to know that I’m a very liberal minded person and although I’m obviously not a SB, I would like to chime in that the potential SD is also being very explicit (with MicahSB) about his “needs”. My opinion is that this thing is not going to end well, even if it manages to start fine.

    If MicahSB is going to read this, some tough love is in order!

    Girl, this is exactly how NOT to get into a sugar relationship and if you must because of your strategic planning, I will then disagree with Rosie and state that within the context of what you have presented, your options may be very limited if you are relaying on an SD to finance these three months for you. I may be a negative bastard, but I think that this guy is going to exploit your vulnerabilities and you shall succumb.

  185. Rosie says:

    “Now im 100% convince that he is expecting sex on our first meeting. which is something i never did outside of the Sugar world. I know he will most def give me gifts and allowance on our first meet ( he was even willing to wire me some before we meet). In this case, sex on the first meet is required right?” -MicahSB

    Nothing is ever required. You should only ever do what you feel comfortable doing. If I were you, I would continue the conversations you’re having with him (via skype, text, email, however) and keep your stance on “keeping it classy” as it sounds like you are being true to yourself when you say this. Sex is NOT required on the first date/meet, but sounds like he may expect it and is willing to go forth with an immediate allowance and gifts. He should still know you want to feel 100% comfortable before sleeping with him. If you aren’t “feeling it” on the first date, I would recommend not accepting allowance or gifts (unless he insists and feels it’s a way to show he’s going to be committed to you as an SD and wants to build trust this way). Some SBs will disagree with me on this one, but I think it’s the right thing to do and only fair.

  186. Lo says:

    hahahaha sweetie ihear you

  187. sweetie says:

    Everybody is getting too self conscious about this meet-up! Come on people, who cares what you’ve been telling on the blog, I’m sure the conversation will not be revolving around motor boating FB’s tits, even though Spicey is dying to do that, nor SA life, really. It’ll be just normal chat over drinks.
    Is that weird considering the blog dynamic? Must admit some of the lingo here is way above my interest, however that doesn’t mean I’m socially inept if the opportunity arises…

  188. flyR says:

    @SSpicey “@Flyr – that sounds deeply unpleasant, will we at least get to make out with other campers first?”

    All they ail see is a wiggling sleeping bag and two pairs of boots…………..

  189. SugarySpicey says:

    @Flyr – that sounds deeply unpleasant, will we at least get to make out with other campers first?

  190. flyR says:

    @Jersey “But I’d feel weird if it were a group of 5 or 6 of us (I’d imagine I’d feel like I walked into an alternate universe)! I’d probably prefer meeting people one on one, and perhaps after knowing everyone I’d be more open to meeting as a group.”

    It’s like you have been sitting around the campfire telling deeply personal stories and all of the sudden somebody lights up the area with 5,000W halogens.

  191. Beach_Girl says:

    Hello Sugars!

    Are you sugars having a blog meet? wooo hooo, good luck, if I could I would go. I went to 3 blog meets and it was great to meet the people behind the personalities on the blog!

  192. Rosie says:

    I love OBX!

  193. SugarySpicey says:

    Yes Dashhopper, you may ask away. Ohmmmm.

  194. Dashel says:

    Re: NY meet up. I’ll be there in August. So if ya’ll are there at the time, I’ll definitely show up and say hi.

    What are you coming up for? dashel2@outlook let me know when you’ll be around if you have free time to say hi!

    my gay D spends a lot of time in NYC

    I feel like you’re a mystic sugar guru or something. I hadn’t even considered the concept of a gay D and you have one. Ok so going back to Dorky’s post and myths, are sugar mommas a myth? email me if you come up this way Spice girl. Then go on top of a mountain and sit in a lotus position, I’ll climb it and get to ask you one question.

    But I’d feel weird if it were a group of 5 or 6 of us

    Mmm I guess so if nobody knew each other. Logistics are near impossible for something like that anyway on a random meet up. I doubt more that 3 or 4 people would be here at the same time, including people that live here. I’m doing Outer Banks in August so who knows if I’ll even be here lol

    Any of the guys live in the NY area?

  195. SugarySpicey says:

    That site got me out running today though. Man, that is a brutal universe.

  196. Dashel says:

    I was gonna say TheDirty was ridiculous but I scrolled through like 10 pages. +2’s I got and I finally got ITG based on the context in one post.

  197. Principium says:

    ^^^ Big & Beautiful version of him 😉

  198. Damien says:

    “I’m only into BBFBSD”

    Big Bad Fat Bastard Sugar Daddy?

  199. Rosie says:

    @lil_tm

    Lol! Oops, I meant high pressured kitchens, but I guess they could be one in the same. 😉

  200. Jersey Darling says:

    Sweetie, I would love to meet some people from the blog. But I’d feel weird if it were a group of 5 or 6 of us (I’d imagine I’d feel like I walked into an alternate universe)! I’d probably prefer meeting people one on one, and perhaps after knowing everyone I’d be more open to meeting as a group.

    That said, if everyone really were to get together – sure, I’d go!

    Lil coming up to NY in August… hmm, Dashel and Lil can bring their love affair to life 😛

  201. Lo says:

    o flyr you have noo idea 😉 is it suddenly hot in here or is it just me?

  202. lil_tm says:

    “Ok, lil_tm. I was curious from your posts about pressure cookers and when you made the comment about being envious of the mansions for their kitchens, I thought maybe you were in culinary school.”

    Pressure cookers or high pressure kitchens?? Well, I guess they’re kinda the same thing anyway. 😉

  203. lil_tm says:

    “Were you cooking up at the SA kitchens? LOL”

    Sounds about right, doesn’t it?? haha!

  204. Rosie says:

    Ok, lil_tm. I was curious from your posts about pressure cookers and when you made the comment about being envious of the mansions for their kitchens, I thought maybe you were in culinary school.

    RE: The Dirty

    I’ll bet if Nik wasn’t married to Shayne and someone submitted photos of her, he’d make the same disparaging remarks about her as he does about most of the women on there. Guaranteed.

  205. Principium says:

    @ lil_tm “Been there, done that. Got tired of being yelled at, burnt, cut, verbally abused and giving up my weekends and holidays for barely any pay.”

    Were you cooking up at the SA kitchens? LOL

  206. lil_tm says:

    Re: NY meet up. I’ll be there in August. So if ya’ll are there at the time, I’ll definitely show up and say hi. 😀

  207. lil_tm says:

    “@lil_tm
    Are you an aspiring chef?”

    Been there, done that. Got tired of being yelled at, burnt, cut, verbally abused and giving up my weekends and holidays for barely any pay.
    It was a great experience and I’m glad I did it, but I prefer hard work that actually pays off.
    So, now I just cook at my own pace and feed the people I love. :)

  208. flyr says:

    @LO “secretly aroused ” that will keep me here, am I in danger?……. i can only hope..

  209. Dashel says:

    Now I would privately show up to be a fly on the wall just to see that!! Lol.

    Damn right you would. I’ll pull down my big Elton John bedazzled sunglasses and toss you a wink as I strut by. 😉

  210. Principium says:

    Rosie: I have been busted but I’m only into BBFBSD 😉

    You’ve gotta admit though that little sexy bra is a much more endearing term than saying bring your big sexy bra. So let’s compromise on you bringing your full D cup bosoms in their little sexy number :)

  211. Rosie says:

    “@ Rosie: for now, frontal chest shots gotta suffice unless you bring your little bra along and I’ll do a side boobage shot in it, just for you ;)” -Principium

    Little bra?! I would hardly call 34D little! Oh wait, aren’t you the one into BBW and FEEDERISM? Ok in that case, my bra is little. 😉

  212. Principium says:

    @ Rosie: for now, frontal chest shots gotta suffice unless you bring your little bra along and I’ll do a side boobage shot in it, just for you 😉

    @ flyr: like discovering that FBSD & I were separated at birth?!

  213. flyr says:

    @Rosie – I do not know the ages of those on TV but I assume they were mid 20’s from some of the comments.

    My personal view is that sub blog level meetups are great, but beyond that the laws of unintended consequences takes hold.

  214. Rosie says:

    I would love to have a private pow-wow meeting with Brandon Wade though about the deterioration of SA and brainstorm how to improve the site (weed out the Johns/Escorts) as well as make the blog more user-friendly. But I doubt he has interest in any of that. He’s already moved on to other sites and money making schemes.

  215. Rosie says:

    “@ Rosie: you still have a golden opportunity of lurking around Runyon and then bumping into me, but I may recognize you. Let’s do Malibu instead!” -Principium

    I’d recognize that chest anywhere! 😉

  216. Rosie says:

    “I think that’s the prevalent attitude with a majority of SB and SD, especially those beyond their 20s.” -flyr

    That’s what I thought too. Were the girls who went on the air nationally younger than 20? I never checked that out.

    “That said, I’m commissioning a bespoke leopard print fur cape with neon “Sweet Daddy” on the back in anticipation.” -Dashel

    Now I would privately show up to be a fly on the wall just to see that!! Lol.

    “Well, I guess we have a nail in the coffin. Wasn’t planning to go to the news with it… To each his/her own.” -sweetie

    Lol. Sorry, honey bunny. I’m not trying to ruin the fun, I promise. I hope you guys do have a meetup and I’m sure it would be a lot of fun to put faces to names from the blog. I used to read about the blogger meetups here and they seemed to really have fun and hit it off. I just don’t think it’s for me.

  217. sweetie says:

    Well, I guess we have a nail in the coffin. Wasn’t planning to go to the news with it… To each his/her own.

  218. Dashel says:

    I like meeting people. I mean I get the wanting to keep it low key but I just imagine it as people gathering not necessarily “SA Meet Up”!

    That said, I’m commissioning a bespoke leopard print fur cape with neon “Sweet Daddy” on the back in anticipation.

  219. flyr says:

    @Rosie ” I’ve just always been very private about my SA life and not sure I ever want to take it beyond this blog.”

    I think that’s the prevalent attitude with a majority of SB and SD, especially those beyond their 20s.

  220. Principium says:

    @ Rosie: you still have a golden opportunity of lurking around Runyon and then bumping into me, but I may recognize you. Let’s do Malibu instead!

  221. Rosie says:

    I don’t know how those SBs went on all those talk shows and openly shared with the world they were sugar babies. Even though we’re all cool with it here and we KNOW it’s something that’s been going on pre-our-time, it’s so frowned upon by society. Now that I run my own business, I really like to keep that part of my past private.

  222. Rosie says:

    Kind of a weird story here. I told you guys I’ve been a long-time lurker of the blog (like since the day it started) but never really active on it. Well, there was a very active blogger on here about 3-4 years ago and just from her posts (and even her user name), I accidentally figured out who it was. We sort of ran in the same circles in the city (rewind back to my modeling/runway days). After I knew for sure it was her, it felt weird to run into her backstage at shows and at parties. I never said anything to her. It was like I knew this little secret of hers, but she didn’t know mine. It felt really, really awkward. I felt like a dirty paparazzi. Lol. I’ve just always been very private about my SA life and not sure I ever want to take it beyond this blog.

  223. sweetie says:

    I feel like I’m a cheerleader!

  224. sweetie says:

    Rosie, this has nothing to do with active or not, it would be just a friendly get together. At least that’s how I view it; I’d like to meet whomever is up for it, no secret agenda here. Anyway, we’ll see how it goes. Please “warm up” to it :)

  225. Lo says:

    sweetie I’m all the way in Cali so I guess I’ll be cheering from the sidelines. Flyr I’m still secretly aroused I just don’t want to scare you off the blog haha.

  226. Rosie says:

    I was mostly humoring Damien about actually meeting anyone from the blog. I think those types of meetups are really for “active sugars”, which I am not. Well, not really. Buuuuut, like I said, I might warm up to the idea by the end of June when I’m back home full-time. We’ll see!

  227. MicahSB says:

    Hi everyone,
    i dont exactly know how to proceed on this blog ( I really enjoyed reading all of you all night yesterday and strongly feel there is a need for a discussion forum linked to this site)
    I’m a newbie on SA. I’m moving to a different city and an arrangement was exactly was i need for a new start.
    i received a lot of messages but one SD has caught my attention over the last few weeks by being very clear and enthusiastic about meeting me and about being interested in me only and being able to afford all my needs and an allowance for the duration of my stay ( 3 months). we have chatted on Skype and i found him to be very appealing and genuine. we are working on establishing our First meeting next monday when i arrive to the city. the problem is having already had 2 weeks to converse online, he already feels very comfortable with me and is very verbal about sex. I have no problem talking about sex but i didn’t want to participate too much before we actually met. He’s already telling me a lot about what he feels towards me sexually and expecting me to retaliate a lot. I told him i would make him glad he waited if we could keep it classy at least till we meet.
    Now im 100% convince that he is expecting sex on our first meeting. which is something i never did outside of the Sugar world. I know he will most def give me gifts and allowance on our first meet ( he was even willing to wire me some before we meet). In this case, sex on the first meet is required right?

  228. flyr says:

    @Lo – but that was my hope……. what a way to go

  229. sweetie says:

    Spicey, good to have you on board! 😉

  230. sweetie says:

    Lo “Nice I’m excited to hear how the NY meetup goes.”

    Lo, does that mean you’d like to join or that you’ll be watching from the sidelines? C’mon, say yes and let’s get this meet-up going. :)

  231. Lo says:

    Nice I’m excited to hear how the NY meetup goes

  232. SugarySpicey says:

    Lol, my gay D spends a lot of time in NYC, I’m
    always needing a distraction from the sex I’m not having while I’m there.

  233. sweetie says:

    Hello, dear ones!

    What is this I hear about a potential NY meet-up? Rosie and Damien, count me in. I’m available in August, should the get together come to fruition.

    Jersey Darling, you’re close by, would you be up for it?

  234. flyr says:

    Why the world needs more true SD’s – Recent study shows that the average IQ in the western world has dropped 10 points in the last century.

  235. SugarySpicey says:

    Damn you Lo and Cunny! I just wasted 30 minutes on The Dirty. That site is awful, and makes a girl want to run and get +2’s, or lipo. Harsh!

  236. Lo says:

    Treasured the answer to that is yes yes and yes. I can’t wait to be working in my field one day, relax and not worry too much about things or goals.

  237. Lo says:

    yes Nik better scrap that site before his daughter gets older or she’s guaranteed a complex or two…

  238. Principium says:

    @Lo: yup busted and,guilty as charged! Am I going to be cuffed for this?

    It used to be a lot more entertaining in the past, but not so much recently. I know that it is conditioning a lot of young girls with very bad self-awareness traits. I’ve decided 😉

  239. DorkyGuy says:

    Regarding the study…. I agree 100%. Outliers are a myth.

    Sugar dating is a myth. Transgendered people are a myth. Single, marriage-minded men are a myth. As are beautiful women looking for NSA. Families with more than 3 children are also a myth.

    If you consider everyone on the planet, the average annual yearly income is $7000. So, most of the people on this blog are a myth.

    By the way, if you are flipping a coin, having 5 heads (or 5 tails) in a row is considered an outlier (or myth?). But if you do 100 coin flips, chances are high that it will happen 3 times.

  240. Lo says:

    I changed my name back though. Flyr I don’t want you to think I’m channeling Glenn Close from Fatal Attraction haha

  241. FlyrIsSexy says:

    Princi I recognize your slang from the dirty. You’re not frequenting that repulsive site are you? 😀

    Jersey, a sexy mind turns me on. Flyrs posts are cerebral and they get me going lol :p

  242. KittyKat says:

    PS: Dear mods, I am changing my blog name for a reason. Please, be nice and stop “moderating” me :)

  243. KittyKat says:

    Noob – there wasn’t a hint of anything and I certainly didn’t ask for a lecture 😉

    I, more than anyone, know that women are much more empowered now than ever.

    But to get where I want to be I need a SD. Preferably more than one. So I choose to be a kept woman. For now. At the same time, it is not something I particularly love 😉

  244. Rosie says:

    @lil_tm

    Are you an aspiring chef?

  245. flyr says:

    Lo I am honored .

  246. flyr says:

    @Damien – you don’t suppose that your SB whispered in SA’s ear to eliminate any competition ?

  247. Noob_SD says:

    @ lil_tm I see you’re statistics, but it seems like most of us don’t consider ourselves truly successful yet, or we wouldn’t be here looking for a mentor and/or a financial benefactor.

    Yes, the path to get there is the same for most. Maybe I am mistaken, but I felt that there was a hint of misandry there in Treasured’s post. It might have been gender biased some time ago, but that no longer is the case. A young man in school will go through the same challenges that a young SB is facing. But his chances of getting an SD (or SugarMommy) are much smaller.

  248. Principium says:

    Something I may wanna buy my future Ex GF. I’ve been told she lurks on these blogs at times. If you end up SB’ing with the surgeon, I may buy her some +2’s and ask for my Spicey discount 😉

  249. SugarySpicey says:

    What are plus 2’s Cunny?

  250. lil_tm says:

    “Do you ever feel like you can’t wait for the day to finally not have to rely on a man financially?”

    Yes indeed!
    A man or anyone. I used to envy kids who grew up in homes where everything they ever wanted was at their disposal..now I can appreciate having to work for what you have. I’m sure it makes you way more appreciative.

    But I do drive through the wealthy parts of the city where the old mansions are (think Anne Rice novels..she actually has a house there), and I do get pangs of envy that these people live in such stunning homes. Mainly because I know they have really beautiful kitchens! 😀

    @ Noob. I see you’re statistics, but it seems like most of us don’t consider ourselves truly successful yet, or we wouldn’t be here looking for a mentor and/or a financial benefactor. :)

  251. Principium says:

    Does the surgeon offer +2’s?

  252. SugarySpicey says:

    Hmm, something is definitely afoot with the surgeon!

  253. Jersey Darling says:

    @Damien – Sounds suspiciously serendipitous!

  254. Damien says:

    @Jersey – Talking to suspicious people! Suspiciously!

  255. Damien says:

    Haha “He did what? What do you mean it worked? Find out what happened so we can put an end to it!”

  256. Principium says:

    Let me help you there Damien:

    Apparently since you managed to land an SB through SA, your account must be reviewed by SA staff for suspicious activity. Haha 😀

  257. Noob_SD says:

    @ Spicey Why thank you Noob, if I could just get my ass out of this lawn chair I’d show you the rear view.

    It requires a certain talent to get the chair stuck to your ass … I don’t think you have it :) And I am sure you don’t want it :))

  258. Jersey Darling says:

    @Lo aka Flyrissexy – flyr is your blog crush?!

    So many questions!

  259. Jersey Darling says:

    @Damien – Really? That sucks… what have you been up to on there, hmm?!

  260. Noob_SD says:

    @ Treasured Do you ever feel like you can’t wait for the day to finally not have to rely on a man financially? Spare me the lecture on how it shouldn’t be done anyways.

    I would like to understand your question – what is the complaint here? The day you are wishing for is already here – actually these statistics broke out over 2 years ago.

    Women are more than 50 percent of the workforce, and they’re more than 50 percent of managers. These days, 57 percent of college students are women. Single and childless women are out-earning men in the same situation. And even though men continue to dominate the highest-paying jobs, women now hold their own in a wide variety of lucrative careers. They make up a third of physicians, 54 percent of accountants, 45 percent of law associates, and they have about a half of all banking and insurance jobs. For every two men that earn a B.A. degree from American colleges, three women do. And women dominate 13 of the 15 job categories that are projected to grow the most in the next decade.

  261. Jersey Darling says:

    *wolf whistle* Spicey, lookin’ good!

  262. Damien says:

    Oh by the way SA locked my account for “suspicious activity”. Which they are investigating. Whatever that means. Anyone ever have that?

  263. Damien says:

    Noob with a Churchill quote and Spice girl with trust but verify. I like it.

  264. SugarySpicey says:

    Why thank you Noob, if I could just get my ass out of this lawn chair I’d show you the rear view.

  265. Principium says:

    Agent Orange anyone?

    Pssst! If anyone of you is from Vietnamese heritage, the above is just a joke. Lighten up 😉

  266. Noob_SD says:

    @ Damien People do tend to do things out of self interest but that’s not as depressing as it sounds.

    Indeed. All that it means is that everyone looks at it from the point of view of “What’s in it for me?” It doesn’t mean that everyone is out to harm you.

    @ SugarySpicey

    Now your avatar is great!

  267. SugarySpicey says:

    Why challenge someone’s motives? No good comes from that. Say what you mean, and mean what you say. Then with the rest of the world, trust, but verify.

  268. Damien says:

    I believe in giving people the benefit of the doubt. It can burn you but most people are good people that want to do the right thing I find. At least I’ve run into far more good than bad, and I’m an optimist :)

    The bad ones tend to stick with you more but you can shrug them off. People do tend to do things out of self interest but that’s not as depressing as it sounds.

  269. FlyrIsSexy says:

    @Noob_SD: “People do things out of self-interest, plain and simple.”

    ): I think this is why we’re told not to place our happiness on other people. I agree with this– our culture’s value system is heading more towards narcissism and so I do think this quote holds true more now than ever before.

  270. KittyKat says:

    On the other subject….

    I am starting to realise that I desperately want to have sex with someone who is not 20 years older than I am.

    And the problem is not getting a boyfriend/fuck buddy. But to actually being able to fit him in my very very tight schedule!

    Damn.

  271. Treasured says:

    Mentioning “great oral skills”, first, and foremost, I meant the ability converse on more language than one, on subjects varying from 17th century art till changes on a stock market.

    What made you think of “lips being all over you” perplexes me 😛

    Naughty, naughty boy 😛

  272. Principium says:

    Any SB who likes to pay excessive oral attention to my appendage rather than having me feel her luscious lips all over me, will not work for me. “Great” oral skills always make me go hmmmm!

    All you blog pots have been put on notice. Follow me on my twitter #imjustsaying 😉

  273. Treasured says:

    We all know that perfect oral skills is a crucial part of being a good SB 😛

  274. Rosie says:

    @Treasured

    Magic mouth. Lol. My SD always said I was a cunning linguist. 😉

  275. Treasured says:

    A question to all the SBs on here.

    Do you ever feel like you can’t wait for the day to finally not have to rely on a man financially?

    (Spare me the lecture on how it shouldn’t be done anyways. I can afford bills/food (though having a SDs allows me to eat organic and actually own a house), but not 5* holidays, tennis lessons and Chanel).

    Life is good, but I am soooo looking forward getting my degree 😀

    By the way, looks like it is going to be an USA summer for me 😀 New York in June and Hawaii in August 😀
    Any tips on where to go/eat will be appreciated 😛

    And I know. I am a very lucky girl indeed. But, since my SD just informed me yesterday that my mouth is magic (I am pretty sure he didn’t value my conversation skills) it is only fair 😀

  276. lil_tm says:

    “People do things for others because it’s the right thing to do yes, and doing the right thing gives a sense of self satisfaction.”

    If the self satisfaction part is a clean conscious, then yes, I agree.

    “It is good to see you both feel that way. That means you are not cold-hearted :) I miss my youth sometimes – I wasn’t all too different than that. Somethings are better experienced than preached.”

    I am sure there are many people out there who would say this way of thinking is naive. I have been through enough in life to know that most people are out for themselves and wouldn’t pee on you if you were on fire if it meant they could have their way and get ahead of you.

    But I won’t let it put a damper on my outlook on on life. I choose to surround myself with good people, however few that means, and I do believe they are out there, although not so easy to come by.

    And it’s not easy! I have cooked in high pressure kitchens where the stress level is through the roof and people will step all over you to get their way. And even if you try to stay away from it, people will find a way to drag you into their drama and other girls will hate you because you’re attractive and won’t be part of their vindictive group.

    Another big part of the problem is that people tend to flock together rather than being independent thinkers…meaning, they don’t realize that there are other ways of doing things than what they see others doing. I guess for girls, they feel safer being in a gaggle. Unfortunately, the price you pay for that is subjecting yourself to being picked apart and competed with on a level that is just absurd.
    Anyway, that’s just a small piece of what I think, but I don’t wanna write a novel. 😉

  277. Rosie says:

    “It is good to see you both feel that way. That means you are not cold-hearted :) I miss my youth sometimes – I wasn’t all too different than that. Somethings are better experienced than preached.” -Noob_SD

    If you find the right SB who is sweet, caring and genuine as well as sexy…she’ll take you back to your youth – inside and outside the bedroom. 😉

    That’s an area not much discussed. Arrangements aren’t just about the sex. They fulfill other areas in our psyche too. A younger woman can remind an older man that life isn’t filled with doom and gloom and selfish people. An older man can teach a younger woman how she can better manage her naivety.

    But that could very well be my own naivety speaking. ❓

  278. Rosie says:

    “@Rosie I was wrong, you are more like the T-800 in Terminator 2. A once cold and heartless SB who has been reprogrammed to defend SD’s everywhere :-) .” -FatBastard

    I know you’re just humoring me with the “once cold and heartless SB” part. You know I’m as sweet as honey dripping down a sugary graham cracker! 😉 I like to think I defend the SBs too. Not every sugar babe is a money hungry, gold digging girl looking for an ATM. Some of us were born into families with very little money (no silver spoon here!) and couldn’t expect a lot of financial help from our families to help secure our futures. Even with scholarships (you know, for the nerds 😉 ), college can be very expensive! My parents love me unconditionally and did all they could, but just didn’t have the means to support their little girl who had a big, big dream. Enter the Sugar Daddy! The benefactor, the mentor, the friend, the lover, the White Knight. I wouldn’t be where I am without my past SDs and I want to believe there are still men out there like the ones I was fortunate enough to have in my life. Just like I believe there are SBs out there who want to make sure their SDs are just as happy as they are! I offered to pay my gratitude forward by treating you to dinner, FatiB! I’ll even leave the groupon at home – next to my Terminator costume. 😉

  279. Noob_SD says:

    @ Rosie I agree 100% with lil_tm. Maybe it’s because I’ve been lucky enough to have those types of people in my life (via arrangements and otherwise). Sure, I’ve had my share of running into the “self-interest” types as well, but not enough to turn me into a cynical, contemptuous adult who thinks everyone is out for themselves. I hope I never become the person who views the world that way.

    It is good to see you both feel that way. That means you are not cold-hearted :) I miss my youth sometimes – I wasn’t all too different than that. Somethings are better experienced than preached.

  280. FatBastardSD says:

    @Rosie

    I was wrong, you are more like the T-800 in Terminator 2. A once cold and heartless SB who has been reprogrammed to defend SD’s everywhere :-).

  281. Damien says:

    Uh oh, drum circle forming!  Damn hippies…
     
    People do things for others because it’s the right thing to do yes, and doing the right thing gives a sense of self satisfaction. If I give a homeless man some food or 20 bucks and never see him again, I still get something out of it.  This is not to say it’s the only reason I do things like that.  The point is there are self-serving incentives to do the right thing.  The whole notion of paying it forward relies on this as well.  You know, make the world a better place and all that crap 😉
     
    It can be a negative force as well.  The road to hell is paved with good intentions as they say.  Many people have such a strong sense of “doing good” they become judgmental or overzealous and end up hurting people they genuinely mean to help.  They look at the goal not the results. 

  282. Rosie says:

    “I disagree. I don’t think it’s common, but people do things for others unconditionally and because it’s the right thing to do. And the world needs more of this.” lil_tm

    I agree 100% with lil_tm. Maybe it’s because I’ve been lucky enough to have those types of people in my life (via arrangements and otherwise). Sure, I’ve had my share of running into the “self-interest” types as well, but not enough to turn me into a cynical, contemptuous adult who thinks everyone is out for themselves. I hope I never become the person who views the world that way.

    lil_tm’s post made me think of these lyrics:

    “You, you may say I’m a dreamer,
    but I’m not the only one
    I hope some day you’ll join us.
    And the world will be as one…”

    :-)

  283. lil_tm says:

    “Speaking of whole foods, not sure where you live but do they have Wegmans by you? I keep hearing how great this place is and I’ve yet to go to one. I think it might only be east coast.”

    I’m in NoLa..we don’t have those, but I have a great appreciation for any grocery store. And yea, Whole Paycheck is expensive, but it’s so nice and clean! It’s my personal version of saks.

    “How do you become more interesting or delightful after 6 months unless you are always playing a persona during that time”

    I wouldn’t have any interest in pretending to be someone I’m not. The only exception would be the bedroom for some role playing. IMO, the closer you get to someone, the more delightful they get.

    “I’ll save you both the heartache of having to learn this lesson in life the hard way – People do things out of self-interest, plain and simple.”

    I disagree. I don’t think it’s common, but people do things for others unconditionally and because it’s the right thing to do. And the world needs more of this. It’s unfortunate that most people think the way you do and are stuck in a vicious cycle of the dog eat dog world mentality. Wouldn’t we all benefit from lending a helping hand every once in a while?
    (btw, no, I’m not a granola hippy that plays hackysack and joins knitting circles) 😉

  284. Damien says:

    Dashy – yes, I do think there tends to be a three month cycle, if: schedules are incompatible, there was only physical spark but no actual connection, or if one person’s feelings develop much stronger and faster then another’s. The 90 day cycle is also true with dating IRL – that’s about how long it takes to move from the blindness of infatuation to real feelings.

    Hmm very interesting Spice girl, I’ll keep that in mind.

    I’m back home in NYC full-time at the end of June. Maybe by then I’ll have a soft enough spot in my “cold & heartless” SB heart (FatiB’s words) to want to meet some of you!

    Yeah NY! I will remember you said this. Maybe FB can work on thawing you out :)

    Agree with Noob and Jersey D on the self interest. It’s not a bad thing to get enjoyment from helping others succeed. Just have to watch out for those who are never satisfied or have no self ambition. Then you’ll never be able to do enough and any failures will be blamed on you.

  285. Jersey Darling says:

    @Noob_SD: “People do things out of self-interest, plain and simple.”

    That’s how I feel about it. Even if a man’s self interest is that he enjoys watching someone else grow – and I’ve never run into a man like that on SA. In fact, repeatedly it seems the men who enjoy watching women grow are also Dominant (and ultimately care about their own pleasure) – just my experience. And I’m one who loves mentors and has attracted them organically my entire life, just not on here.

    I get the impression that usually when a man does that for a girl, it’s because he genuinely cares about her and that care runs deep. And typically when that is the case, it’s more than an arrangement – he cares about her enough to be selfless and put her interest before his. It’s something I’d expect to find more in a traditional relationship on its way to marriage, where the man is investing in the woman because he sees her as a potential partner and wants to keep her around.

    I’m sure there are exceptions to this, but I’ve never been lucky enough to find one (let alone more than one)!

  286. Noob_SD says:

    “@Rosie I think there are men and women who genuinely want to help others, although scarce. When I make it where I’m trying to go, I will without a doubt pay it forward. I believe it will be my obligation.” -lil_tm

    I knew I loved you at hello. 😉 I’m the same way. In my effort to pay it forward, I ended up hiring a few people I used to work with because I knew they were unhappy where they worked and they were always such hard workers.

    I’ll save you both the heartache of having to learn this lesson in life the hard way – People do things out of self-interest, plain and simple. Always appeal to people’s self-interest, not charity … You will see this quote attributed to various people “Any man who is not a socialist at age 20 has no heart. Any man who is still a socialist at age 40 has no head.”

  287. Noob_SD says:

    Really?? I can see it being common on regular dating sites, but it seems strange here, imo.

    I am in a corner there lil_tm… I don’t like to share profile numbers, but they (BBW) do exist – good luck to them. I didn’t notice till SA threw one in the featured profile. Only thing I haven’t seen is a hermaphrodite … BTW Jamie Lee Curtis was rumored to be one :)

  288. Rosie says:

    RE: “Playing a persona”

    I never presented myself as being anything than exactly WHO I was in reality. I was lucky enough to be matched with SDs who felt I fit what they were looking for and vice versa.

    Why is this blog so negative sometimes? :roll:

  289. Rosie says:

    “Aww I dont like that rule. Everyone should meet up in Vegas or NY and hang out for a night or two.-Damien

    I’m back home in NYC full-time at the end of June. Maybe by then I’ll have a soft enough spot in my “cold & heartless” SB heart (FatiB’s words) to want to meet some of you! 😉

  290. SugarySpicey says:

    How does one become more delightful without putting on a persona? They pick SDs who actually like them for who they are. Then they stroke his ego, keep him laughing, stimulate his mind, and give him great (creative, passionate, interesting, enthusiastic) sex. It ain’t rocket science.

    Dashy – yes, I do think there tends to be a three month cycle, if: schedules are incompatible, there was only physical spark but no actual connection, or if one person’s feelings develop much stronger and faster then another’s. The 90 day cycle is also true with dating IRL – that’s about how long it takes to move from the blindness of infatuation to real feelings.

  291. Damien says:

    @Princ – Guilty :) Cmon she is cute.

    How do you become more interesting or delightful after 6 months unless you are always playing a persona during that time?”

    Speaking of this, anyone think there is truth to the “3 month curse” mentioned in that blog Prin and Jersey posted?

  292. flyr says:

    @sb”How do you become more interesting or delightful after 6 months unless you are always playing a persona during that time?”

    My experience is that reality can become more interesting and that playing a personal is more of a dead end………..

    The longer the time the more inconsistencies come out of the closet . Better to stick to a reality based relationship.

    I can handle a wide range of “reality” and very little pretend. Pretend is so unattractive…………….. Be cherished for where you are going , not an imaginary current existence…………

  293. Principium says:

    Damien & Lil_One, get a room already 😀

  294. Damien says:

    just expect to be treated the way I would treat someone.

    Well I mean I offered to clear out the freezer. Geez.

    you wouldn’t happen to have anything in there from Whole Foods, would ya?

    Oh man there is the best Whole Foods like 5 minutes from me. It’s huge. I think my net worth would be double if I didnt know that existed.

    [img]http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m5wezuMerW1rrgwxco1_500.gif[/img]

    Speaking of whole foods, not sure where you live but do they have Wegmans by you? I keep hearing how great this place is and I’ve yet to go to one. I think it might only be east coast.

  295. Damien says:

    I just expect to be treated the way I would treat someone.

    Well I mean I offered to clear out the freezer. Geez.

    you wouldn’t happen to have anything in there from Whole Foods, would ya?

    Oh man there is the best Whole Foods like 5 minutes from me. It’s huge. I think my net worth would be double if I didnt know that existed.

    http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m5wezuMerW1rrgwxco1_500.gif

    Speaking of whole foods, not sure where you live but do they have Wegmans by you? I keep hearing how great this place is and I’ve yet to go to one. I think it might only be east coast.

  296. lil_tm says:

    “Very welcome. Glad you’re being a bit more open minded! Let me know when you stoop to my level ;)”

    haha…the only one doing any stooping would probably be yourself. I’m the shorty around here. 😉 Besides, I’m super open minded, I just expect to be treated the way I would treat someone.

    “Speaking of which, I dont have any room for anyone in my freezer. I really need to clean that out.”

    hmm…well..you wouldn’t happen to have anything in there from Whole Foods, would ya?

  297. Damien says:

    Very welcome. Glad you’re being a bit more open minded! Let me know when you stoop to my level 😉

    Speaking of which, I dont have any room for anyone in my freezer. I really need to clean that out.

  298. lil_tm says:

    “Thanks. Like the new gravatar by the way!”

    Thank ya sweetcheeks!

    I took that picture on the way to meet Hannibal Lecter. 😉

  299. lil_tm says:

    “There are already similar profiles on SA. You’ll have some tough competition.”

    Really?? I can see it being common on regular dating sites, but it seems strange here, imo.

  300. Damien says:

    @Rosie“no meeting anyone from the blog” rule

    Aww I dont like that rule. Everyone should meet up in Vegas or NY and hang out for a night or two.

    @lil_tmYou’re doing it right

    Thanks. Like the new gravatar by the way!

    @Noob_SDThere are already similar profiles on SA.

    Haha indeed. With bags of Lays potato chips at the ready.

  301. Noob_SD says:

    @ lil_tm As for the avatar, you don’t mind if I use it as my profile pic, do you?
    I am sure it will attract the greatest SD in all of the land.

    Be my guest … [img]http://funchun.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/06/funny-fatty-1.jpg[/img]

    There are already similar profiles on SA. You’ll have some tough competition :)

  302. SugarySpicey says:

    Softi – it does go somewhere. In my experience, it gets sexier and more passionate, not platonic in the slightest.

  303. Rosie says:

    “@Rosie I think there are men and women who genuinely want to help others, although scarce. When I make it where I’m trying to go, I will without a doubt pay it forward. I believe it will be my obligation.” -lil_tm

    I knew I loved you at hello. 😉 I’m the same way. In my effort to pay it forward, I ended up hiring a few people I used to work with because I knew they were unhappy where they worked and they were always such hard workers. In fact, I would be happy to, as a part of my pay it forward plan, break my “no meeting anyone from the blog” rule and take FatiB out to dinner – my treat! And it doesn’t even have to be a Cracker Barrel or Village Inn. 😉 A platonic meeting of the minds, of course. I have some questions about running shoes.

  304. Rosie says:

    “How do you become more interesting or delightful after 6 months unless you are always playing a persona during that time?” -FatBastard

    Comfort levels grow with more time. He knows your body more and you know his more. If you’re paying attention, you know his turn ons/offs. You’ve had more long conversations over bottles of wine so there’s a stronger mental connection there too, which makes for better sex. At least, for me, this is what I found to be true.

  305. lil_tm says:

    @Rosie
    I think there are men and women who genuinely want to help others, although scarce.
    When I make it where I’m trying to go, I will without a doubt pay it forward. I believe it will be my obligation.

  306. lil_tm says:

    “Sorry to hear about your bad experience. Chalk it up to lessons learned, and move on, a bit stronger and wiser in the process.”

    I always do. 😀

    As for the avatar, you don’t mind if I use it as my profile pic, do you?
    I am sure it will attract the greatest SD in all of the land. 😀

  307. Rosie says:

    @FatBastard

    I can’t really explain why they enjoy it. Maybe it’s an ego thing. Maybe a White Knight thing. I’m not sure and can’t speak for them. I just know I attracted the type of SD who wanted to be with an SB who had goals. I was self-sufficient in the sense I held great jobs with big titles, but I was at the point, I wanted to work for myself and have people working for me. I couldn’t do that without first paying off college debt and having some seed funding to get me out from underneath the corporate world.

  308. FatBastardSD says:

    “I’ll add to Rosie’s statement that a smart SB ensures the novelty doesn’t wear off, she should become more interesting and more delightful as time goes on.”

    How do you become more interesting or delightful after 6 months unless you are always playing a persona during that time?

  309. FatBastardSD says:

    @Spicey

    Grab my ankles? Ha, I have not seen the lower half of my body for a long time!

    @Rosie

    I guess we are talking about wealth where these guys leave massive amounts to charities, but even in these cases you often get a building with your name on it.

    I guess I just don’t get the appeal. Does it become more like a platonic relationship? More power to those who enjoy it.

  310. lil_tm says:

    “This is what I thought as well. Wouldnt a girl rather have financial help than expensive shoes?”

    Not necessarily. I think a lot of SBs just want nice things.

    “I usually stick to relatively small but thoughtful gifts.”

    You’re doing it right. 😉

  311. SugarySpicey says:

    Not all SBs need financial assistance. Some of us are fully self-sufficient and just find being pampered is sexy. I’ll take TMs expensive shoes and handbags!

  312. lil_tm says:

    “But because I didn’t expect those things, my SDs loved to surprise me with them and I would be lying if I said I hated it. ;-)”

    As it should be. 😀

  313. Rosie says:

    “I’ll add to Rosie’s statement that a smart SB ensures the novelty doesn’t wear off, she should become more interesting and more delightful as time goes on.” -Spicey

    Very, very true. I’ve said this many times, my shortest arrangement was 6 months, longest was 18 months. To me, they were all treated like real relationships, minus a lot of the traditional brouhaha. The shortest one ended by my choice because I didn’t want to be a totally “kept” SB and that’s what he wanted/needed. None of my arrangements ended on bad terms and a couple of them could’ve evolved into more than arrangements (all my SDs were single), but didn’t for a variety of reasons. For example, one was divorced with teen children and that wasn’t something I was prepared to take on. I still occasionally hear from my past SDs. I used to keep in touch with them more, but we’ve all gone in different directions in life.

    “Thank you. Keep your shoes and jewelry and handbags..I’d much prefer a boost in to being self sufficient.” -lil_tm

    That was my ultimate goal when I decided to live the sugar lifestyle and I accomplished it. But because I didn’t expect those things, my SDs loved to surprise me with them and I would be lying if I said I hated it. 😉

  314. Damien says:

    Keep your shoes and jewelry and handbags..I’d much prefer a boost in to being self sufficient.

    This is what I thought as well. Wouldnt a girl rather have financial help than expensive shoes? I usually stick to relatively small but thoughtful gifts.

    After typing it out I’m sure the correct answer is “I’d like both” 😀

  315. lil_tm says:

    “Some SDs with enough wealth actually enjoy helping young, intelligent, entrepreneurial women (who may come from poor families ) become successful in life and pursue a dream of owning their own business(es). This might not be something you enjoy at all and that’s fine. But some wealthy men love making this happen for their SB.”

    Thank you. Keep your shoes and jewelry and handbags..I’d much prefer a boost in to being self sufficient.

  316. lil_tm says:

    “IMO, the best results happen when you price yourself in the $3-5K range (unless you’re looking for more). You’ll get better quality responses and most likely, they’ll fall within the $1-3K range you’re actually looking for.”

    Because I thought I was being realistic and fair. I don’t even like putting 1-3k because even the middle of that is too much.
    I guess I figured being straight up was the best approach.

  317. flyr says:

    JD Were it the MHC I would not be sharing, just you.

  318. SugarySpicey says:

    I’ll add to Rosie’s statement that a smart SB ensures the novelty doesn’t wear off, she should become more interesting and more delightful as time goes on.

    Softi – I was referring to your statement that the SBs on this blog claim that there are no good SDs. But, let’s not fight, come over here and I’ll give you a lap dance and then show you what three hours of rough sex feels like. Grab your ankles, big boy.

  319. Rosie says:

    “After the novelty of being around the SB is gone how can a SD justify spending large amounts of discretionary income on a relationship that has no future?” -FatBastard

    Some SDs with enough wealth actually enjoy helping young, intelligent, entrepreneurial women (who may come from poor families ) become successful in life and pursue a dream of owning their own business(es). This might not be something you enjoy at all and that’s fine. But some wealthy men love making this happen for their SB.

  320. FatBastardSD says:

    @SugarySpicey

    I am not sure what post you are referring to…

    I will say that I think it’s time that disgusting and creepy men stood up for themselves. Have we not progressed as a society to the point where a man who wants 3 hours of rough sex for $500 should be celebrated for expressing his sexuality?

    I think there is far too much creep shaming going on today. Do you want to be part of the solution, or part of the problem?

  321. SugarySpicey says:

    Softi, don’t put words in our moyth dear, that’s what your penis is for.

    I have met great SDs on SA. Sweet, sexy, generous men who I had great chemistry with. I’ve also been messaged by men who are rather disgusting in their approach, lied to, and grossed out. I imagine I’m not alone. Just because I’m playing adult games doesn’t mean I don’t deserve the respect to which every human is entitled. It is those SDs I take exception with (well, that and someone who thinks $500 dollars a month for three hours of rough sex a week makes them a Sugar Daddy).

    There are good men on SA, it’s simply that the ratio of bad to good isn’t skewed in favor of good (as it appears is also the case for SBs on the site, and the world in general.)

  322. Jersey Darling says:

    @Damien that’s true about the cost of living especially in our area. If I’m willing to make the effort, I’ll look for guys in NYC, though the cost of living is so crazy here in general sometimes it all balances out. And the traveling back and forth gets to be inconvenient.

  323. Jersey Darling says:

    @Flyr the only way I’ll be joining the mile high club would be with you 😉 The plane would have to go on autopilot…

    Oh, you mean the planets are aligning! You know me too well 😀

  324. FatBastardSD says:

    @Principium

    I agree with you post about the finances required to support a SB for the long term. I am in the save and “play” money category now and open about it so discussions about long term arrangements do not apply to me :-).

    Your point about negotiating down after the honeymoon phase is a good one. After the novelty of being around the SB is gone how can a SD justify spending large amounts of discretionary income on a relationship that has no future? Perhaps SD’s who have had a long term arrangement would like to discuss this.

  325. Damien says:

    Jersey thanks for that.

    I like that he stipulates NYC, LA and London (and other places) are different from areas with lower cost of living. I feel like my net worth and income here is not very much, whereas if I was someplace a bit less expensive it might be different.

  326. Principium says:

    Comment was @ Jersey. Flyr got the missile up his *&^% instead. Apologies 😉

  327. Principium says:

    ^^^ STALKER ^^^ Haha!

  328. flyr says:

    My crystal ball tells me Jersey will be enjoying a threesome in the sky Sunday evening…….

  329. Jersey Darling says:

    SDGuru’s infamous blog post (I like to think this is my best kept secret):
    [img]http://sugardaddychronicles.blogspot.com/2010/11/sex-mondy-and-sugar-part-2.html?zx=f59cd26a8ddc2981[/img]

    You’re welcome.

  330. Rosie says:

    @FatBastard

    Cold and heartless I am not. I’ll give you the rest though. 😉

  331. Principium says:

    @ Sweetie: A few cases of dark chocolate covered Edamame beans as a substitute for chocolate covered Garbanzo beans which Spicey & FB so carve for 😀

  332. Principium says:

    I tried to find Guru’s blog post about the discretionary income and allowance which Spicey had referred to earlier on, but I couldn’t find that post although I have bookmarked the blog site.

    In any case, I think that Guru had used a generous 20% formula of one’s disposable income (take home after taxes) as a discretionary spending (want expenditure, not the need expenditure as for mortgage, food, car pays; basically the essentials), which I understand.

    Personally, I have always considered an allowance as a part of the arrangement range package and I have made no secret that for me, the over all experience of limited companionship (NSA) is more important than the mere sexual intimacy component. Therefore on an ongoing basis, if the overall discretionary budget exceeds a certain amount, that makes me walk away from it.

    I think it is wise to consider that whatever the agreed upon allowance is, unless it is purely predicated on a P4P format (an agreed amount there and then per meet… just calling a spade a spade) an SD must allow up to 25% over that amount for being “hit up” on extra allowance alone. For instance a 2K ongoing allowance can easily become a 2.5K actual allowance. Plus if an SD is into taking trips, hotels, date nights a couple times a month, offering some shopping experience, gifts, etc; that could easily become a 5K monthly budget. This means that the SD must have about 25K of discretionary income (not net income!) to play steadily with 20% of that. If 70% of one’s income is consumed by the necessities (bills which need to be paid) then it is not difficult to see as to why Spicey had mentioned that 1 Mill income quoting from Guru. In reality, some people have far greater networth and some have a lot less in need expenses (smaller mortgages, no car payment, no alimony, child support, etc) but for the SBs it is very crucial to accept this mathematical reality in cases where and when an ongoing arrangement of 6+ month is desired (I say at least 6 months, because some people save “play” money and rather spend it on a SB than take vacations or any self-luxuriating treats)

    It doesn’t make it very difficult now to see for the ladies as to why so many SD’s negotiate down after the “honeymoon” phase is over.

  333. FatBastardSD says:

    @Rosie,

    Nerds => unattractive to the opposite sex. It is a sufficient condition.

    You are like the T-800 terminator. A cold heartless SB covered in a nerd coating. You attempt to infiltrate wealthy nerd meetings with talk of causal determinism. Very difficult to spot, but sexy lingerie and red bottom shoes give you away.

    @sweetie

    I have been put on a diet. It was either that or remove one of the walls of my house so I could go outside.

  334. Damien says:

    Damn I just got schooled on Body Rock chick. I think she’s pretty but I never really was into it. As I said a friend of mine loved her and did the workouts too. He probably knows the back story too I’m going to find out when I see him next.

    @NSDAgreed, but SA is too much BS for a short term fling, don’t you think?

    Oh definitely. Although I got lucky with my second meeting, First meeting was complete BS. Second was zero but it’s still a lot of effort. I treat it like a traditional relationship. Which may or may not be a good idea. We will see.

  335. sweetie says:

    Bastardito ” I know this is because women never consider the possibility that they are wrong, but sometimes it is wise to think outside of the box :) .”

    Hehehe! Agree, my dear. It’s funny because I always tell my male friends the following: See, you never listen! Women are always right, I know you don’t like to think so, but WE are! Hehehe, it’s hilarious!

    P, I’m going to Trader Joe’s soon. You want something? Any suggestions on your favorites?

  336. Rosie says:

    @FatBastard

    Nerds can be very, very sexy! The bonus is that we can talk about causal determinism with you over dinner and then rock your world after! 😉

  337. FatBastardSD says:

    @Rosie

    “I was a nerd and total brainiac in school (still consider myself a nerd)”

    If you can pull $5K/month for an allowance then YOU WERE NEVER A NERD.

  338. Noob_SD says:

    @Rosie I was a nerd and total brainiac in school (still consider myself a nerd)

    I love the combination of smart and beautiful … being funny (with a good dose of sarcasm) on top of that is “simply irresistible”

  339. FatBastardSD says:

    @sweetie

    Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying you need to accept what some SD offers. It does seem like many SB’s are finding it difficult to meet quality SD’s. Now one explanation (the one SB’s seem to prefer) is that there are no good SD’s on SA. The idea that the approach SB’s are using to find SD’s is flawed never seems to considered. I know this is because women never consider the possibility that they are wrong, but sometimes it is wise to think outside of the box :-).

  340. Noob_SD says:

    @Damien I agree with this 100%. There are a lot of beautiful women out there, enough that there is no reason to put up with someone you dont connect with just for the sake of aesthetics. Unless you’re just looking for a short term fling I suppose.

    Agreed, but SA is too much BS for a short term fling, don’t you think?

  341. Noob_SD says:

    @lil_tm

    Sorry to hear about your bad experience. Chalk it up to lessons learned, and move on, a bit stronger and wiser in the process. You can send him the latest avatar I picked just for you – for what he wants to offer this is the perfect SB – just tell him “Big_tm” is within his allowance range :) . Or send him the profile on ANR (she was asking for less than $1000, so that fits within his range).

    Allowance experiences

    Obviously, I don’t have the experience you all have. Before I even setup my profile, I wanted to have an idea of allowance – and I got my advice from “sugardaddydiary” (David Montrose). He had a “sugar budget” he would use and that is precisely what I did – it is something, after tax, set aside for sugar activities. Again, his advice was to base the allowance on how many times per month he would see the SB.

    I used to ask the pot what she expected before even meeting – I had one bad experience with this approach: The pot gave me a number and I agreed and she used the meeting to argue that she low-balled herself. Save for one lady, I’ve never had one that did not click because it was an allowance issue. It is because of other reasons: a) my screening process is somewhat ANAL OR I am attracting the wrong people, b) schedule issues, c) SB growing cold feet.

    That one lady started bargaining with me after asking what I wanted to pay per month – not that I wouldn’t have. But I negotiate for a living and I reacted as I would at work – it went downhill from there pretty quickly, she probably thought I was a jerk. I regretted it later on, she is attractive AND very smart – very capable reader of men. I stopped discussing allowance after that unless the pot brought it up.

  342. Principium says:

    @ Rosie: no I do not personally find muscular women (with profoundly defined arms, delts, lats, abs and all) that attractive. I just like Zuzka despite her muscular physique because she has a pretty face (I’m a face guy) and her abundance of positive energy/vibe. My current celebrity crush is Olivia Wilde 😉

  343. sweetie says:

    Bastardito, everybody is looking for something specific, more or less. Being able to negotiate is necessary, however what’s the point of agreeing to something you would not want just because that’s all the SD wants/can offer? Also, some SBs like to have more than one provider, so the amount of the allowance is not that much of an issue.
    I think it gets trickier when there is an agreed monogamous arrangement between the two.

  344. FatBastardSD says:

    @Principium

    Freddie was Canadian, I believe he and Zuzka moved to Canada at one point.

    While she is/was very fit I have to say I did not find her pretty in the least. Never quite understood the whole scene she was in in any event. I can understand a professional who needs to be at a certain fitness level for their living but why amateurs do it is a mystery to me. I guess looking good at the beach means you never have to provide an allowance.

  345. FatBastardSD says:

    The one thing I can take away from this discussion is that simply choosing the right drop down menu selections on an internet profile can increase your perceived “quality”.

    I think the $5K lunch mystery poster already demonstrated this would be a good approach :-).

    Of course everyone is free to decide their worth. One of my favorite profiles included the following statement:

    “I have turned down offers for $6000 per hour”

    I would have to sell over 400 pairs of Nike shoes just to clear that much.

  346. Principium says:

    @ Damien: yes, Zuzka Light was the original “Body Rock Dot TV” trainer/model. She was married to Fredrick Light who was the site co-owner and the cameraman. They were originally living in the Czech Republic were Zuzka is originally from (I recall Freddie was Canadian) and she became an Internet fitness sensation by releasing her workout videos on YT. I had stated before that Zuzka herself had made no secret of her past in the Czech porn industry and she has many older videos floating around on various porn sites. With Freddie, they also had another site together where she had combined fitness modelling with fashion modeling (she’s too short to be a serious fashion model @ 5’3″ + the illustrious porn past) That site was more adult oriented and quite risque, but still tastefully photographed.

    I used top follow BodyRock when they were together and often some of the negative comments were about how Freddie was merchandising her and “pimping” her by having her wear the skimpiest outfits and shoot videos from very “suggestive” angles. I think they tried to connect with big fitness Cos such as Beach Body but were not successful. Their marriage fell apart when they moved to Los Angeles and frankly speaking, LA is a cesspool of much richer guys hitting on pretty women (they happen to love Euros too) and with a struggling financial situation, who knows what could have happened, but there is much speculation. There was even a rumor that Zuzka was involved in The Hobby as a provider, which I do not personally believe. It is very easy to steal images off the Net and use likeness of someone on provider sites and web pages. This practice is not uncommon at all.

    I think that she has a very positive energy about her, despite all the various rumors. I find her workouts to be short and kick-ass. There is nothing I have said on here which has not been very public on her YT channel, and during her own interviews. I stopped following Body Rock because their exercise regiments are just too awful for causing injuries and injury prone people. I think that they lost a lot of followers because of the split between Zuzka & Freddie and Freddie’s general business unsavvy.

  347. Rosie says:

    “What I ended up doing was getting her a birthday card, having no idea when her actual birthday was, and I said “this is for all the birthday’s I’ve missed”.” -Damien

    Very clever and sweet idea!

  348. sweetie says:

    Damien, I think I just stumbled upon your profile :)

  349. Damien says:

    $50 for a foot job.

    Haha I’m not even sure I know what a foot job is? Is it as obvious as it sounds, hand job with your feet?

    A set allowance can turn off some of the very generous men who don’t want the arrangement to feel transactional.

    I was ok with Open and I agree with this, although I guess I did appreciate the strata so I could get some idea of what was expected. I dont even like the term allowance and I found it awkward to physically hand over money. What I ended up doing was getting her a birthday card, having no idea when her actual birthday was, and I said “this is for all the birthday’s I’ve missed”. Or something along those lines.

  350. Rosie says:

    I’m sure it does vary based on geography, but ‘negotiable’ was what always worked best for me and my arrangements were all $5K+ per month. But please remember, we’re talking about another time on SA before it got saturated with bad seeds (on both sides).

  351. sweetie says:

    Thank you, Sugary. I’ll take your advice.

  352. Jersey Darling says:

    I’d pay to chill with Stephen Colbert!

  353. Jersey Darling says:

    It depends – I’m working with the law of averages. My $3-5K range may rule out some guys who are strictly looking for $1-3K, but it catches more quality results as a whole. If someone is running a filtered search for $1-3K they may miss my profile completely, but chances are if a guy at $1-3K finds my profile, likes it and thinks we have plenty in common, he’ll message me anyway. Now if he was looking to offer $500 a month, that’s so far below he likely wouldn’t bother.

    I had my profile at “Open – Amount Negotiable” and it was an unmitigated disaster. Offers around $800 for one time interactions (involving very extreme things) to $50 for a foot job. I personally won’t go back there. YMMV – maybe it differs based on geography.

  354. SugarySpicey says:

    Sweetie – you can actually end up doing very well at “negotiable.” A set allowance can turn off some of the very generous men who don’t want the arrangement to feel transactional. I’d advise you leave things as they are, but vet people carefully before you proceed into a first date.

  355. Damien says:

    IMO, the best results happen when you price yourself in the $3-5K range (unless you’re looking for more). You’ll get better quality responses and most likely, they’ll fall within the $1-3K range you’re actually looking for.

    See I didn’t even look at 3-5 and up because I’m not willing to negotiate over 3k. At least based on reading a profile and some emails/texts. Maybe that was my mistake though? 1-3 was perfect for me.

    Of course, a really funny intro email, a super sweet profile, or a nice set of abs/shoulders/dimples can sway that base expectation.

    Hmm Exactly how funny does this intro have to be? Stephen Colbert lives in my town wonder what he’d charge…

  356. sweetie says:

    Jersey “IMO, the best results happen when you price yourself in the $3-5K range (unless you’re looking for more). You’ll get better quality responses and most likely, they’ll fall within the $1-3K range you’re actually looking for.”

    I have mine on negotiable, however I’m looking for a certain amount. Should I change it to $3-5K?

  357. SugarySpicey says:

    I actually never put a salary range, but I do use wealth as an indicator of who I respond to (okay Softi you can get your cutting teeth out). I am Pricey Spicey, as you all know. I’m a hotel snob, I like very nice things, and I like an SD who understands the difference between nice and luxurious. That typically requires a certain income.

    In my experience, a man needs to either make, or have, over a million in order to get to a $3K sugar range. Surely that doesn’t mean all millionaires can (or will) give that much, and some SDs who make less may choose to be very generous, but it’s an easy way to filter when trying to decide to respond to someone’s message.

    Of course, a really funny intro email, a super sweet profile, or a nice set of abs/shoulders/dimples can sway that base expectation.

  358. SugarySpicey says:

    Lil – question on the $500 man, did he have his salary posted? Guru did a great blog on how much a man would need to make in order to provide a $3K allowance. I’m curious if you could have predicted his discretionary sugar income by looking at his income/wealth.

  359. Jersey Darling says:

    @Lil – “But that’s why there is a lower than $1k range. If it was negotiable, I would have put that.”

    How long have you been using SA? In my experience, people will routinely make offers below your allowance range. You may not consider it negotiable, but they will.

    IMO, the best results happen when you price yourself in the $3-5K range (unless you’re looking for more). You’ll get better quality responses and most likely, they’ll fall within the $1-3K range you’re actually looking for.

  360. lil_tm says:

    “That doesnt even sound low ball to me, It’s more like he might just barely be able to swing 500 bucks for 1 month, maybe. Including dinner and paying for the parking meter.”

    And that’s okay…it’s just not okay for me right now.

    “Again with these impossibly high standards.”

    Lol! If I wanted to date Hannibal Lecter, I’d find his behind and ask him out! The book Exquisite Corpse kept running through my mind…

  361. lil_tm says:

    “Sounds like it was so last minute, you didn’t have time to communicate allowance details prior to meeting huh? It can be a little tricky because you don’t want to come across as only interested in the money aspect of the arrangement, but it’s good to make sure you’re at least in the same ballpark before the first date. Easier said than done, I know. But after these types of dates happen a few times, you’ll figure out the best way for you to get that part of the conversation out before meeting. Sorry he wasted your time!”

    That’s what I’m sayin, though. My profile gives an idea. And I did try to discuss it prior to meeting, but he circumvented the topic, which led me to believe he would rather discuss in person, which was okay with me. But that obviously wasn’t the reason. :(

  362. Damien says:

    That doesnt even sound low ball to me, It’s more like he might just barely be able to swing 500 bucks for 1 month, maybe. Including dinner and paying for the parking meter.

    I’m extra turned off because he looked like he would have chopped me up and put me in his freezer.

    Again with these impossibly high standards.

    @Princ Was Zuzka the original body rock chick? A friend had a huge crush on her.

    @Rosie – Visible abs are ok on a girl but definitely not necessary. Usually at that level of lean on women their face gets all drawn in and angular, doesnt look good.

    @ Noob “If there is a personality that I like, that keeps me interested a lot more.” I agree with this 100%. There are a lot of beautiful women out there, enough that there is no reason to put up with someone you dont connect with just for the sake of aesthetics. Unless you’re just looking for a short term fling I suppose.

    For looks the only real turn off for me is people who dont put any effort into taking care of themselves.

  363. Rosie says:

    “It is interesting that you mention you have done runway, I have run into a few models on SA. Invariably, I find their pictures on modelmayhem, one lady had a profile on talentenvy.” -Noob_SD

    Oh believe me, it isn’t something I normally declare out loud IRL. I was a nerd and total brainiac in school (still consider myself a nerd) and the modeling gigs happened by accident. They paid well and helped me through school so I didn’t mind. But most of that whole world is so far removed from the real me that it makes me queasy! When I had a profile on SA, I didn’t mention modeling nor did I use any of my professional modeling pics.

    @lil_tm

    Sounds like it was so last minute, you didn’t have time to communicate allowance details prior to meeting huh? It can be a little tricky because you don’t want to come across as only interested in the money aspect of the arrangement, but it’s good to make sure you’re at least in the same ballpark before the first date. Easier said than done, I know. But after these types of dates happen a few times, you’ll figure out the best way for you to get that part of the conversation out before meeting. Sorry he wasted your time! :-(

  364. lil_tm says:

    “@Lil – did you put yourself into the $1-3K range? Because if so, people will send offers lower than $1K because they figure it’s close enough.”

    But that’s why there is a lower than $1k range. If it was negotiable, I would have put that. And maybe I’m extra turned off because he looked like he would have chopped me up and put me in his freezer.

  365. Jersey Darling says:

    @Lil – did you put yourself into the $1-3K range? Because if so, people will send offers lower than $1K because they figure it’s close enough.

  366. lil_tm says:

    So I met a pot SD last night. It just kind of happened at the last minute.
    He seemed really nervous and uneasy, for whatever reason.

    The he told me that he only has about $500/month disposable income.
    Please understand, I am in no way, shape, or form a gold digger or a materialistic person, but I put a certain amount on my profile because that is what I need in order to accomplish my plans. I just don’t understand why these guys even message us if they cannot provide what we seek.
    I believe these sections of the profile are there for a reason–to outline the main aspects of what each of us is looking for. Use it as an initial filter to avoid wasting people’s time.

  367. lil_tm says:

    “I think society has become conditioned to accept the fact people have to “look” a certain way. It is a shame. If there is a personality that I like, that keeps me interested a lot more.”

    Yep, you are right.

    I took that test to see what personality type I am..melancholic.

  368. Noob_SD says:

    I@ Rosie Lol! May I ask why you were listening to the 2007 remix of Right Said Fred’s “I’m too sexy”??? I used to walk runway (still do sometimes) and have walked to that remix soooo many times, I hear it in my sleep!

    I can assure you I have never walked run way and if I do, people have to be paid handsomely to watch me do that … :) Nor do I harbor any secret fantasies to do so.

    I have a list of songs I like …. no particular genre/order that I listen to, this is one of them. Everything from DO WOP to the 90s – nothing from this century, though. Just to relax. I was not working this Friday … It is interesting that you mention you have done runway, I have run into a few models on SA. Invariably, I find their pictures on modelmayhem, one lady had a profile on talentenvy.

    I@ Sweetie Yeah, those ladies look good, indeed. The fitness models are too ripped for my taste. Toned muscles are nice on a girl, but ripped, no, thank you! A little meat doesn’t hurt.

    A little meat in the right places! I have no particular hangup on looks – to an extent. I think society has become conditioned to accept the fact people have to “look” a certain way. It is a shame. If there is a personality that I like, that keeps me interested a lot more. I make it a point to try and understand what personality type (of the four types) the person I am talking to is as well. There is no such thing as relationship compatibility match based on personality tests – which is BS, it is just a way for us to know our strengths and weaknesses and also be more understanding of the person you are talking with. Because most of what we do involves selling/marketing ourselves, this is one of the keys to being successful, as well.

  369. sweetie says:

    Noob “I don’t … But people differ. I was watching the 2007 remix of Right Said Fred’s “I’m too sexy …”. There are three models in it with painted on dresses. That’s my type … Athletic, yet feminine.”

    Yeah, those ladies look good, indeed. The fitness models are too ripped for my taste. Toned muscles are nice on a girl, but ripped, no, thank you!
    A little meat doesn’t hurt.

  370. Rosie says:

    @Noob_SD

    Lol! May I ask why you were listening to the 2007 remix of Right Said Fred’s “I’m too sexy”??? I used to walk runway (still do sometimes) and have walked to that remix soooo many times, I hear it in my sleep!

  371. Noob_SD says:

    But those abs are very masculine! Do men like that?

    I don’t … But people differ. I was watching the 2007 remix of Right Said Fred’s “I’m too sexy …”. There are three models in it with painted on dresses. That’s my type … :) Athletic, yet feminine.

  372. Rosie says:

    *pretty face

  373. Rosie says:

    “@Rosie. Speaking of the Housewives of OC..the thing about that show that always intrigued me was that these women had time and money and chose to live in a drama filled, fake environment like they couldn’t find anything better to do. Go feed some homeless kids or somethin. shit.” -lil_tm

    No kidding, right? My path has to cross occasionally with some of the OC real housewives as well as the Beverly Hills ones. A few are kind of sweet (I’m being generous), but most of them act like they are real celebrities in person and want NO ONE in their personal space. They travel with their own entourage of ‘groupies’. It’s almost embarrassing to watch the drama unfold. And forget it if you are younger and hotter than they are, you pretty much automatically go on their shit list and claws come out automatically like you’re coming in to steal their rich hubbies. They look even more fake in person than on the telly. It’s pretty nauseating.

    @Damien & Princi

    Agree Jamie Eason is a hottie. She still has some softnss to her, like a woman should. Some of her competition photos are borderline too masculine though. I had to google Zuzka Light. Very Euro looking. Definitely a retty face and fit for sure. But those abs are very masculine! Do men like that?

  374. Principium says:

    I’m not into fitness models but Zuzka Light is one who is interesting because she actually has a very cute face.

  375. Damien says:

    You should try and relax..looks like you’re carrying the weight of the world on your shoulder. 😉

    Atlas stones! I really love stuff like that it keeps things fun. We also do a prowler which is a mix of fun and omg I’m gonna hurl.

    There is nothing that relieves my stress more than lifting up really big rocks and slamming them down. Ok well not nothing… but that really works too.

    it was an E colored VVS1

    I know I’m ruining my shot with every girl on here but it took me a while to figure out what the hell E color vvs1 meant. I get it now though!

    “http://media.zenfs.com/en-US/blogs/partner/2565150.png”

    Ugh. On the flip side, image search Jamie Eason my fave fitness model.

  376. Principium says:

    @ Sweetie, the second link is the same as the first link… Grossfest!

  377. sweetie says:

    P, that first link did not work for me. gave error. can you repost it, please?
    did see the chicken wings, yuk!

  378. lil_tm says:

    @ Noob..I love that song!

    @Prince..oh my. They look like human milk duds. And maybe I should eat some just to ensure I don’t end up that way. lol

    @Rosie. Speaking of the Housewives of OC..the thing about that show that always intrigued me was that these women had time and money and chose to live in a drama filled, fake environment like they couldn’t find anything better to do. Go feed some homeless kids or somethin. shit.

  379. lil_tm says:

    “Gotta lower your standards a bit. That’s why I’m willing to give Carmen Electra a shot.Gotta lower your standards a bit. That’s why I’m willing to give Carmen Electra a shot.”

    You’re right..guess I should give ol Navarro a call and see if he wants to catch a movie.

    You should try and relax..looks like you’re carrying the weight of the world on your shoulder. 😉

  380. Rosie says:

    @Principium

    Wow. Nothing and I mean NOTHING about those women is even remotely attractive. Between the bulging muscles, rib cages showing and fake leather tanned skin, they don’t even look human! (Kind of like a lot of housewives in the OC! :roll: ) I don’t know which of those two breeds looks worse.

  381. Jersey Darling says:

    @Prince – I know you want me on all fours but it’s not happening that easily 😛

  382. Principium says:

    At Lil_One: Don’t go looking like some fried chicken wings with all that P90X stuff:

    Warning/Disturbing:

    [img]http://l2.yimg.com/bt/api/res/1.2/NlFRryVIbRaQz2CJ.S2mhw–/YXBwaWQ9eW5ld3M7Zmk9aW5zZXQ7aD0zOTA7cT04NTt3PTU4Ng–/http://media.zenfs.com/en-US/blogs/partner/2565150.png[/img]

  383. Noob_SD says:

    lil_tm: Relationships are too much work with most people. They can’t just be content, they feel the need to stir up drama. *stays single forever*

    So tell me baby kinda shakey
    We ain’t been too friendly lately
    Things sometimes turn out that way
    And that is all that you got to say

    Well that’s okay ’cause time can soothe
    Like a dentist pulls out a tooth
    As each new day will bring a new face
    How can I make my rhyme go someplace

    [img]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I01FX4HkAPI[/img]

  384. Principium says:

    Joysee, it was an E colored VVS1. Now crawl on the floor and find it 😛

  385. Damien says:

    Gotta lower your standards a bit. That’s why I’m willing to give Carmen Electra a shot.

  386. lil_tm says:

    But maybe I’m doing it wrong. Even my momma tells me my expectations are too high. :/

  387. Jersey Darling says:

    That was just an example, not all lies take three weeks to reveal themselves 😉

    Prince, if you want me to bend over for you better drop a diamond necklace on the floor :mrgreen:

  388. lil_tm says:

    @ Jersey…the thing is, within in three weeks, I’ve already made my decision of whether the guy is legit or not. I decide within the first few dates. Discernment at its finest. 😉

  389. lil_tm says:

    “In my case I think girls want to see me get a bit jealous or protective since I’m not the jealous type”

    I have a similar problem, but with men. Because I don’t get jealous, they think I don’t care or am indifferent. I do care, and if I was suspicious or jealous, I wouldn’t be with them in the first place.
    The other issue I’ve come across is guys who purposefully try to make me jealous.

  390. Noob_SD says:

    lil_tm: Relationships are too much work with most people. They can’t just be content, they feel the need to stir up drama. *stays single forever*

    So tell me baby kinda shakey
    We ain’t been too friendly lately
    Things sometimes turn out that way
    And that is all that you got to say

    Well that’s okay ’cause time can soothe
    Like a dentist pulls out a tooth
    As each new day will bring a new face
    How can I make my rhyme go someplace

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I01FX4HkAPI

  391. Principium says:

    ^^^ now that’s very sweet, but please just bend over as I don’t have that much time ^^^ 😀

  392. Jersey Darling says:

    I never shit test. It brings unnecessary drama and stress.

    Now what I do do is test the truth of what someone’s saying if I suspect they’re too good to be true or that something is amiss. Like let’s say a guy tells me today his daughter is traveling. Three weeks from now I might ask how her trip was last week and see if he corrects me.

    I pay attention to the details. Best bet with me is to just be very honest from the start. I’m quite accepting and little will scare me off except dishonesty.

  393. Damien says:

    Lil funny you mention that as I got that exact test two days ago. She actually said “that was a test” haha.

    In my case I think girls want to see me get a bit jealous or protective since I’m not the jealous type. Can’t win. 😉

  394. lil_tm says:

    @Spicey..I say leave that alone. He sounds too needy and that’s something I just can’t bear from a man.

    Relationships are too much work with most people. They can’t just be content, they feel the need to stir up drama. *stays single forever*

  395. lil_tm says:

    “Lil: don’t stress it too much. Women have to test. I consider it a sign I’m doing well early on.Too many though is annoying.”

    I guess. :(
    My habitual one is throwing something out there to see if I’m dealing with a jealous and possessive individual.
    But yea, you are right. I wouldn’t go through the trouble if I didn’t really like the guy. :)

  396. Damien says:

    Son of a…. Blog ate my post.

    Sounds like he’s an attention whore. I had s gf as a teenager who pulled something similar. Major drama when that ended so I say good call.

  397. SugarySpicey says:

    Damien – he would sometimes say things that didn’t ring quite true (in order to get more of my attention). Then he told me a whopper that he was at a hospital getting surgery for internal bleeding after a car accident. He had the “nurse” text me to tell me this, from his cell phone, but then she wouldn’t let me call her to discuss. It made him look like a pathological liar, or a person of such poor character that not even his flesh and blood would be the next of kin he contacted in an emergency. It’s a long twisty, weird story. Either way, too much drama for sugar.

  398. Damien says:

    Why did you break things off Spice?

    Lil: don’t stress it too much. Women have to test. I consider it a sign I’m doing well early on.
    Too many though is annoying.

  399. SugarySpicey says:

    Princi – the last communique (other than me sending a “thank you for my amazing trip”) was the EXSD implying that since I was breaking things off he was “disappointed” with the “investment” he had made.

    I don’t think there’s a chance of things going well a second time around if I encourage him. Although it was super fun when he was sending prezzies all the time, and the sex was really good.

  400. SugarySpicey says:

    I just thought it was a good picture of my boobs. Lol

  401. Damien says:

    I’d guess that most men don’t know that they’re being given a shit test. The ones that do don’t mind it much.

  402. lil_tm says:

    “A shit test is a reaction test which women either consciously or subconsciously subject men to in order to weed out the feeble, the weak & the meek.”

    Oh god..is it that noticable to men?? I have done this many many times, subconsciously. Of course I know I did it AFTER the fact. And yea, it seems and sounds like a test and it is a test, but it also seems like a game and I hate that I do it. It’s truly one of my most hated habits..(in case ya’ll can’t tell) !!

  403. lil_tm says:

    “This is complete with a picture of her kneeling upright on a very dirty bed, clothes all over the floor, and an open bag of Lays potato chips behind her. She looks pretty angry too.”

    I suspect she ate all the chips in bed and is not angry that they’re gone. Sounds like she’s looking for the type of sugar that provides a lifetime supply of fried potatoes. Don’t pass on this one…cheap date! 😉

  404. Damien says:

    “Hey Damien, that creature seems like something I’d want to go a couple of rounds with. So you stick with Carmen and throw a bone my way, er, her way :D”

    She’s all that and a bag of chips.

    Ok. Carmen is shit testing me by not responding. Maybe just waiting to be moderated? dashel2 @ outlook! I’m still crushing on the girls here anyway so you rassle with her and let me know how it goes. Godspeed. :)

  405. Principium says:

    If you gonna quote me, then get it right or ya gonna get spanked (very hard)

    First of all, it is a “shit test” and not a bullshit test.

    A shit test is a reaction test which women either consciously or subconsciously subject men to in order to weed out the feeble, the weak & the meek.

    Secondly, why you up so late? ExSD wants to be SexD? 😉

  406. SugarySpicey says:

    Princi – it’s because I showed you that pick of myself at 115 and you said I was giving you a bullshit test. 😉 *sighs, to self, gnaws on a celery stick.

  407. Principium says:

    Psst Miss! It’s feederism! I’ve been trying to get Spicey into it, but she’s adamant that she wants to remain a 5 foot tall & 100 pounds Utahan Lynx Rufus!

  408. Rosie says:

    *FEEDISM

  409. Rosie says:

    “This is complete with a picture of her kneeling upright on a very dirty bed, clothes all over the floor, and an open bag of Lays potato chips behind her. She looks pretty angry too.” -Damien

    Maybe she’s into FEEDING? 😉

  410. Principium says:

    Hey Damien, that creature seems like something I’d want to go a couple of rounds with. So you stick with Carmen and throw a bone my way, er, her way 😀

  411. SugarySpicey says:

    ^Lick my Chanel you dirty little boy!

  412. Damien says:

    I like your blog Spice, I was gonna say I subbed but that would be taken the wrong way in this context. I subscribed!

  413. SugarySpicey says:

    Damien – BTW, your Gravatar is one of the most clicked links that appears on my blog. Lol, the ladies like the gym pose.

  414. Damien says:

    I brought my profile back up the other day to show a friend and just got an email from a rather masculine and robust woman who says:

    “Hello there. How are u? I would like to know more about u? Hopefully I will speak with you soon.”

    This is complete with a picture of her kneeling upright on a very dirty bed, clothes all over the floor, and an open bag of Lays potato chips behind her. She looks pretty angry too.

    Sorry Carmen, you had your shot.

  415. SugarySpicey says:

    ExSD just texted. Hmmm, I hope I’m not going to have drama from him.

  416. SugarySpicey says:

    Ah ladies! Thanks! Rosie and TM. I could even totally motorboat softi now and give him a tickle or two.

  417. Rosie says:

    What I love most about Spicey’s blog is (and I’m removing the sugar/arrangement aspect of it) that it’s filled with very well-written tips and advice to help empower a woman sexually.

    You should consider writing a book on “improving your sexual prowess”, Spicey. You should probably remove the sugar side of it though. Otherwise, FatBastardito would employ his minions to write bad reviews. Lol. (Just kidding, FB. You know I’m your biggest fan!)

  418. lil_tm says:

    “TM – thanks! I assume you mean that handjob post, lol? I was worried it was too crass.”

    I think what you say about maintaining what you care about is super important. Unfortunately, most people are lazy and want to get away with as little as possible. It can be very frustrating.. If I am giving it my all, I should hope the other person cares enough to do so as well.

    Re handjobs..I have found that the make up of the penis has so much to do with how much fun giving one is.

  419. Rosie says:

    “^ Yeah, that Napoleon complex or Louis xiv and his red heels.”-sweetie

    Lol! Very true and hilarious, Damien, about the step ladder! I’d probably still let him spank me…then I’d ask to borrow his red heels. 😉

  420. SugarySpicey says:

    TM – thanks! I assume you mean that handjob post, lol? I was worried it was too crass.

  421. lil_tm says:

    *bear that

  422. lil_tm says:

    “I dont get the sub thing at all. I mentioned above but it’s being moderated, I read a few high powered execs do it because they make decisions all day and want a reversal.”

    I suppose that’s one way to truly decompress. 😉

    “As for Dom, I’m actually just beginning to read “Way of the Superior Man” right now as it was recommended to me. He talks a lot about Dom in the sense of not being a timid little wuss as a man, but that doesnt mean being an obnoxious prick either.”

    Sounds like a lovely balance.

    “Prince looks femme, but I have a feeling he’s pulling hair, spanking asses and forcing women to their knees in the bedroom. Something very domineering about him.”

    Hmm…maybe I could come around to liking him after all. 😉
    Seriously though, he probably squeals when he doesn’t get his way and IDK if I can bare that. I bet he knows how to work those hips in bed, though.

  423. Damien says:

    “and forcing women to their knees

    How else is he going to kiss them? Step ladder?

    Oh which reminds me I’m all caught up finally on Game of Thrones :)

  424. sweetie says:

    ^ Yeah, that Napoleon complex or Louis xiv and his red heels.

  425. Rosie says:

    Prince looks femme, but I have a feeling he’s pulling hair, spanking asses and forcing women to their knees in the bedroom. Something very domineering about him.

  426. Damien says:

    We found out he busted a move on me and Rosie at different times.

    Well I cant fault his taste in women. Then again he also thinks Kim Jong Un is a great guy. Maybe he just likes troublemakers 😉

  427. Damien says:

    I dont get the sub thing at all. I mentioned above but it’s being moderated, I read a few high powered execs do it because they make decisions all day and want a reversal.

    As for Dom, I’m actually just beginning to read “Way of the Superior Man” right now as it was recommended to me. He talks a lot about Dom in the sense of not being a timid little wuss as a man, but that doesnt mean being an obnoxious prick either. Pretty interesting so far, but a bit preachy and “motivational speaker” esque. He also mentions gender roles but in the context of what is “masculine” and “feminine” and how that does not necessarily reflect your gender.

  428. lil_tm says:

    “See I thought of Prince as an alpha pimp… in purple and lace shirts. I mean he’s pretty swishy but… Ok I see your point. No Carmen, you can not give me a purple shower if that’s your angle.”

    Prince is a little too femme for me. I’d rather do Carmen than him. 😉
    And yea, Rodman is a beast. We recently discussed him..I don’t think you were in our presence just yet.
    We found out he busted a move on me and Rosie at different times. :)

  429. lil_tm says:

    @Spice..your most recent blog is my fave. Well, aside from Dingleberry Boy.

  430. lil_tm says:

    Does anyone else find the dynamic of a d/s relationship when the gender roles are reversed interesting.

    I have met a few domme men and they make it clear that the sub is actually the one calling the shots. Also, the domme I dated was super attentive and nurturing. If I fell asleep, I would wake up with a pillow under my head, swaddled in a blanket and my earrings out.

    These sub guys seem to want to be beaten and degraded. Just seems like a whole different dynamic to me.

    Maybe my experiences are just making me biased, idk.

  431. Damien says:

    Hmmm..all this talk of being submissive…did Damien just out himself as a subby? 😉

    See I thought of Prince as an alpha pimp… in purple and lace shirts. I mean he’s pretty swishy but… Ok I see your point. No Carmen, you can not give me a purple shower if that’s your angle.

  432. lil_tm says:

    “TM – I posted a SugarmyTips blog post on FemDom a few days ago if you want to take a look.
    Once you relax into letting someone worship you, it gets real hot, real fast. Being the complete adored bratty Princess is rather intoxicating!
    Channel your inner coolest girl in school, THAT is who he sees you as, and you can be your very worst self.

    I can see how some aspects of it can be appealing. I guess that’s why I’m doing research and toying with the idea, however, I cannot verbally degrade someone or treat them badly. It’s just not how I am and would make me feel terrible to do so.
    Ok, I’m going to go catch up on your bloggity blog.

  433. Rosie says:

    lil_tm

    Warning: Some of the videos are pretty waaaaaaay out there! I watch them out of pure curiosity sometimes (on lunch breaks, lol), but I could never go all out with some of the fetishes related to BDSM. Being a bratty princess is one thing (as Spicey puts it), totally humiliating someone by doing some of those disgusting things is a-whole-nother ball of wax! Literally.

  434. lil_tm says:

    “Carmen I’m willing to wear purple velvet if you’re still into that”

    Hmmm..all this talk of being submissive…did Damien just out himself as a subby? 😉

  435. Rosie says:

    @Damien

    Oh, wait. Carmen was with Rodman too. What a difference between Prince and Rodman! I wouldn’t touch Rodman with a ten foot pole. I’d let Prince give me some Purple Rain though…and I’d tower over him!

  436. lil_tm says:

    @Rose I will check out those vids before bed..that’s a great idea, actually.
    And LOL at RKelly!

  437. Rosie says:

    ” Or grow tall and black, whatever babe.” – Damien

    You mean shrink to 5’2″ and wear stiletto boots! 😉

  438. SugarySpicey says:

    TM – I posted a SugarmyTips blog post on FemDom a few days ago if you want to take a look.

    Once you relax into letting someone worship you, it gets real hot, real fast. Being the complete adored bratty Princess is rather intoxicating!

    Channel your inner coolest girl in school, THAT is who he sees you as, and you can be your very worst self. :)

  439. Damien says:

    Shh Rosie you dont know that.

    Carmen I’m willing to wear purple velvet if you’re still into that. Maybe get a ton of those Henna tattoos at the beach shops. Or grow tall and black, whatever babe.

  440. Rosie says:

    Lol, Damien, I think Carmen is too busy sauntering on the beach with that hot bikini bod to check out the SA blog. It’s good to have hopes though! 😉

  441. Damien says:

    Ugh awaiting moderation because I changed my email… anyway!

    I’m with ya on that one..she def likes men who should bathe more frequently.

    Maybe she was just young and naive and now she’s ready for a real (clean) man. Hit me up Carmen. I’m willing to take a chance on you. 😉

  442. Rosie says:

    @lil_tm

    Have you pulled up Femdom or bondage videos on YouPorn, ExtremePorn or RedTube? Watch some of those and they might help you further decide if you can do it. Just a suggestion…

  443. Rosie says:

    @lil_tm

    Oh. I see. I’m of zero help to you then. :-( Yeah, I don’t think I could do the whole slave thing, like making him walk on all fours with a collar and leash. Definitely couldn’t do the strap-on thing (making him take it from behind, I mean). And I could never pull an R. Kelly on someone.

  444. lil_tm says:

    @Rosie..all of those things you talk about are things I have experienced and am perfectly comfortable with.

    This guy..I do not think he is looking for a little hanky panky, role reversal fun. He wants to be my slave.

  445. lil_tm says:

    “TM – often Subbys come across very confident outside of the bedroom. I had a blast with my first subby, he was very funny and fun to be around. They’re usually self-conscious and submission allows them to release those fears, they don’t have to worry that you’re thinking I’ll of them, you’ve already said the worst.”

    I understand.
    He certainly appears perfectly normal, but I just don’t know if I could do that role. I’m supposed to be the submissive one! The way he talks to me as if I’m the Queen of England is a little unsettling.
    I can tell he is trying to coax me into believing this is a good idea, and it has piqued my interest, but I kind of know I couldn’t really do this. Not comfortably.

  446. Rosie says:

    @lil_tm

    I don’t have nearly as much experience with full on Mistress/Dom role playing as Spicey. But from my personal experience, not all men into Mistress play are into the full degrading, self-loathing act of D/s. I’m naturally the submissive (in the bedroom…love getting spanked and my hair pulled) in relationships, but have switched to the dominant role before. It isn’t always the degrading act that men like. Some men are turned on by a woman who knows what she wants in the bedroom and aren’t afraid to demand it. I think it’s a lot more fun to try with someone you’re in a trusting relationship with though, rather than a SD – unless you’ve been with your SD a while and trust is there. Again, my experience in this area is very light – (handcuffing, whipping, denying sex completion for him until I’m fully pleased, sweet play with edible body creams, lukewarm wax melting, etc.). Some guys are into the lighter side – and being new to it, you’ll probably enjoy starting light too!

  447. lil_tm says:

    “The artist formerly known as Prince (not me) was Carmen Electra’s SD back in the days. Do you all remember that? When he dumped her, all privileges were gone, the penthouse, the credit cards, everything… She did hook up with a bunch of losers though but Carmen was a documented size queen back in the days”

    I recall reading something about that back in the day….she said he used to make her sleep with make up on just like him.

  448. Damien says:

    Price, really? Did not remember that. I did remember the Kim Bassinger rumor though during Batman I think it was.

    I’m reading a bit on it because I’m trying to figure out why a testosterone driven man would enjoy this sort of thing.

    I remember seeing something about some high powered execs being into that because they made decisions all day and wanted to reverse that role. Who knows though. Why are people into ANR, Dennis Rodman or rubbing feet in womens panties? 😉

  449. SugarySpicey says:

    ill not I’ll * grumble, grumble autocorrect

  450. SugarySpicey says:

    TM – often Subbys come across very confident outside of the bedroom. I had a blast with my first subby, he was very funny and fun to be around. They’re usually self-conscious and submission allows them to release those fears, they don’t have to worry that you’re thinking I’ll of them, you’ve already said the worst.

  451. Principium says:

    The artist formerly known as Prince (not me) was Carmen Electra’s SD back in the days. Do you all remember that? When he dumped her, all privileges were gone, the penthouse, the credit cards, everything… She did hook up with a bunch of losers though but Carmen was a documented size queen back in the days 😉

  452. Damien says:

    I’m with ya on that one..she def likes men who should bathe more frequently.

    Maybe she was just young and naive and now she’s ready for a real (clean) man. Hit me up Carmen. I’m willing to take a chance on you.

  453. lil_tm says:

    I have a serious question for any SB who may have acted as mistresses for submissive men.

    I’m reading a bit on it because I’m trying to figure out why a testosterone driven man would enjoy this sort of thing.

    IYO, what kind of personality do these guys usually have? If they hate themselves and enjoy being degraded due to self loathing, are they generally unhappy people? I mean, do they ever smile/laugh/joke around?

  454. Principium says:

    Actually my Ex was exquisitely beautiful and definitely a very hot babe back in the day (she is still a very beautiful more mature woman) but I was never into anyone who was pregnant and when I see print photos of my crushes while pregnant, it is a turn off for me… Shrug.

    BTW, current crush is Olivia Wilde. Don’t let me see her preggers!

  455. lil_tm says:

    “Ah TM, too bad, you’re such a gentleman I’d totally carry your seed.”

    That is quite the honor. If I could, I would love the chance the fertilize your egg.

    😉

  456. Rosie says:

    I like it, lil_tm!! Win, win, win, winnnning! 😉

    Speaking of cougars (going back to the study for 0.02 seconds), Youtube “Demi Moore dancing”. Daaaaamn. Hottest striptease to watch…EVER.

  457. SugarySpicey says:

    Ah TM, too bad, you’re such a gentleman I’d totally carry your seed.

    Rozie – don’t tell softibebe I have a softer side, he prefers it when I scratch and hiss.

  458. lil_tm says:

    True, true, true! Have you seen her videos? It’s fun to learn the sexy dances! “(SDs and BFs appreciate them. This, I know!) I definitely don’t take her aerobics videos seriously as a workout routine, but more like supplements to something that actually produces results. Just pull some up on YouTube and watch. They’re hot. I want to get her Electra Pole kit, but I’m a little scared of those “at-home” poles.”

    No need to shut the idea down completely….
    Lets think in a more creative fashion..hmmm…poles, aerobics, something rising in his pantalones…
    Ok..so you do Carmens vids, his pole stands at attention, you dance on it and your burn calories.

    win/win/win :)

  459. lil_tm says:

    “Definitely hot. Why did I think she had tattoos though. Probably from standing next to Rodman and Navaro so much.”

    I’m with ya on that one..she def likes men who should bathe more frequently.

  460. lil_tm says:

    “TM and Princi – if she’s carrying your seed she’s a beautiful, ripe, paragon of femininity. Only the rest of the world is allowed to think she’s anything different.”

    Luckily, I don’t have a seed for anyone to carry, so no need for me to be concerned with this. (thank god)

    But you are right Spice….if a man so chooses to impregnate a woman, he should be so loyal and loving as to make her feel like she is a delightful growing honey bun of love, not a greasy popeyes biscuit.

  461. Rosie says:

    “TM and Princi – if she’s carrying your seed she’s a beautiful, ripe, paragon of femininity. Only the rest of the world is allowed to think she’s anything different.” -Spicey

    I like the not so Icey side of Pricey Spicey! Maybe there is a chance for you and SoftiBastard after all! 😉

  462. Rosie says:

    @lil_tm

    True, true, true! Have you seen her videos? It’s fun to learn the sexy dances! (SDs and BFs appreciate them. This, I know!) I definitely don’t take her aerobics videos seriously as a workout routine, but more like supplements to something that actually produces results. Just pull some up on YouTube and watch. They’re hot. I want to get her Electra Pole kit, but I’m a little scared of those “at-home” poles. Btw, I like Rosalita! :-)

    @Noob_SD

    Carmen Electra’s aerobic videos are a great gift for your SB that actually reaps you lots of sweet rewards! 😉 (Side note: You would have to make sure your SB is cool with getting aerobic videos as gifts and won’t be offended thinking you’re telling her she needs to get in shape! You know how women are! :eyeroll: )

  463. RDamien says:

    [img]http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/05/23/carmen-electra-bikini_n_3323675.html[/img]

    Definitely hot. Why did I think she had tattoos though. Probably from standing next to Rodman and Navaro so much.

  464. SugarySpicey says:

    TM and Princi – if she’s carrying your seed she’s a beautiful, ripe, paragon of femininity. Only the rest of the world is allowed to think she’s anything different.

  465. Noob_SD says:

    A lot more fun to watch your SB working out to those than p90X.

    Now I know what I am missing to kickstart my workout routine. :)

  466. lil_tm says:

    “Carmen Electra is ONE hot 41 year old for sure. I love her aerobic striptease videos. A lot more fun to watch your SB (or GF) working out to those than p90X.”

    …and here we have a case of aesthetics vs. actual results. :)
    btw, hey Rosalita!

  467. Rosie says:

    @Principium

    Carmen Electra is ONE hot 41 year old for sure. I love her aerobic striptease videos. A lot more fun to watch your SB (or GF) working out to those than p90X. 😉

  468. lil_tm says:

    “Princi – are you trying to make my vagina cringe? Your sweet wife was bringing your children into the world and you found her revolting”

    Now now..we don’t know she was sweet. She could have been a mean, non lean, baby making machine.

  469. lil_tm says:

    “Whenever my Ex was preggers and well into the 2nd trimester, I’d run away from anything sexual as fast and as far as possible! Luckily for me, she was not frisky at all late into the pregnancy but some women tend to get super horny with all the hormonal changes.”

    I guess it depends..some women look like glowing little bouncy beauties when they’re pregnant, but some look like swollen godzillas.

  470. lil_tm says:

    “Now I am all caught up on ANR – there’s even a Wikipedia entry on it. I hope it’s a joke and she’s not serious about it. There’s no pic in that profile. I think best to put this behind”

    I am sure there are people who are seriously into this stuff.

  471. Principium says:

    ^^^ I have evolved ^^^ 😉

  472. SugarySpicey says:

    Princi – are you trying to make my vagina cringe? Your sweet wife was bringing your children into the world and you found her revolting. :(

  473. Principium says:

    @ Lil: “Who wants ANR? Propose some nice RNR to the young lass and see if she’d prefer that instead. Or maybe ANR is her RNR. Whatever floats your boat, I guess.”

    Whenever my Ex was preggers and well into the 2nd trimester, I’d run away from anything sexual as fast and as far as possible! Luckily for me, she was not frisky at all late into the pregnancy but some women tend to get super horny with all the hormonal changes.

  474. Noob_SD says:

    Sorry guys, I just wasn’t prepared for what ANR was … I just thought it looked like an escort’s profile. I have a saved “search”I run routinely and the profile came up.

    Now I am all caught up on ANR – there’s even a Wikipedia entry on it. I hope it’s a joke and she’s not serious about it. There’s no pic in that profile. I think best to put this behind …

  475. Principium says:

    @ Spicey: Both! Always guilty as charged 😉

  476. SugarySpicey says:

    Princi – first you wanted to share me with SDinLA, now with Noob, either you’re hoping for a two for one deal, or you have a cuckold fetish. Which is it?

  477. lil_tm says:

    “If you want ANR”

    Who wants ANR? Propose some nice RNR to the young lass and see if she’d prefer that instead. Or maybe ANR is her RNR. Whatever floats your boat, I guess.

  478. lil_tm says:

    I received a message from a man this morning asking me to allow him to rub my feet, buy me shoes and do my chores.

    Sounded pretty enticing until he told me he wanted to prance around in girls panties for me.

    I mean, it would be awfully interesting to see, but I just couldn’t bring myself to embark on such an experiment knowing that I wasn’t legitimately into it AND trying not to laugh.

    I tell ya, this site is an interesting place which never ceases to amaze.

  479. Principium says:

    I speculate that someone’s conducting some form of “research” with that profile. Just ignore it Noob.

    If you want ANR, just stand in the line behind me as I’m trying to finesse Nicey Spicey toward giving in 😉

  480. lil_tm says:

    grotesque.

  481. SugarySpicey says:

    Noob – she wants to feed you, she’s most likely lactating but just stimulating the breasts (a lot!!) and messing with her hormones with herbs can make this happen. She may have had a child within the past two years, but not necessarily.

  482. Noob_SD says:

    Does this mean she’s had a child recently or with a child she’s nursing?

  483. SugarySpicey says:

    Adult nursing relationship!

  484. Noob_SD says:

    I’m no longer shocked by these, but had to share it with my fellow blog-sugars! And what is ANR?

    Description: I’m an easy going girl that likes to have fun and really enjoys a good conversation. I am very outgoing and open. I work out so I’m in good shape. Model type. I love traveling and all the good things life has to offer. I like to laugh and meet people. I love going out for drinks and/or dinner. I’m also into breast fetish play.

    I’m Seeking: Sugar Daddy

    I Expect: Less than US$1,000 monthly

    Description: I’m looking to meet someone who is smart, confident, knows what he wants, easy to talk to and can express what’s on his mind and what he wants. Nothing is hotter than a guy that is so turned on by breasts and I’ve come across a lot that have this fetish and for suckling and ANR but they can’t find anyone into this as well. If you’re into hot breast play then maybe we can chat.

  485. Principium says:

    This is one uber HOTT 41 YO (and if just a tad messed up in the cabesa, it makes her even hotter 😉 )

    Random post, but thought I shared:

    [img]http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/05/23/carmen-electra-bikini_n_3323675.html[/img]

  486. Principium says:

    @ Rosie:

    BK = Bankruptcy in abbreviation lingo, aka KB in the mirror 😉

    Yup, your (biological) Daddio is too old for me. How about Mommio? I may want to step outta my usual zone a bit and try the cougar/puma thing. LOL!

    By definition, cougar > 15 years and puma < 15 years 😉

  487. Rosie says:

    @Princi

    BK = KB (Kim Bassinger)

    Dyslexic today.

  488. Rosie says:

    “Finding the right initial conditions seem to be the tricky part. Suppose I would have claimed to be a rich young good looking wall street executive who spends $5K for lunch and offers a $5K gift rather than being a Athlete’s Foot manager. How many blog SB’s would have been after me? Well, I think we all know the answer to that question :-) .” -FatBastard

    Now I think we’re debunking causal determinism and moving into Chaos theory and the butterfly effect. 😉

    Lol, Principium, I wasn’t implying you were old at all by saying my dad was a fan of BK. She’s 10 years older than you, nearly 10 years younger than my daddio. 😉

  489. sweetie says:

    P@FB “I personally guess that you have the best physique among blog SDs, and that you are playing on all the SBs in here ;)”

    It doesn’t matter anymore, Fastardito does not care about his SB’s orgasm.

  490. sweetie says:

    Bastardito “Finding the right initial conditions seem to be the tricky part. Suppose I would have claimed to be a rich young good looking wall street executive who spends $5K for lunch and offers a $5K gift rather than being a Athlete’s Foot manager. How many blog SB’s would have been after me?

    Well, I think we all know the answer to that question :)”

    Let’s not jump to conclusions. Overextension there.
    And, isn’t that the kind of SD every SB dreams of? Very likely you would have had more inquiries, but not all chickens want to play that way. It’s all subjective, just ’cause you spend $5K on lunch doesn’t mean anything other than you’re overpaying for food.

    Flyr “Personally I think SA would be more successful running a more low profile social media marketing program rather than focusing on the mainstream press.”

    Yep, exactly my thoughts. I guess SA doesn’t think understated is better, it only wants to increase revenue. Quantity vs quality.

  491. Principium says:

    @ FB: now why would a GordoBastardo be concerned about running shoes? Unless there is other stuff beside the itch which you are being quite coy about? I personally guess that you have the best physique among blog SDs, and that you are playing on all the SBs in here 😉

    On 9 1/2 weeks flick, I think that some guys would have also happily let Micky Rourke jumped onto them (or vice versa) back then!

  492. FatBastardSD says:

    @Principium

    I remember seeing 9 1/2 weeks when I was younger. I think she was about 35 when the movie came out. She looked really good, most young guys would have jumped on her in a second.

  493. FatBastardSD says:

    @Principium

    Normally I appreciate a good play on words, but I take running shoes too seriously to let that happen in this case.

  494. Principium says:

    @ Rosie: Yes Bassinger filed for BK protection in the mid 90’s because she lost a huge law suit (research shows about 8 Mil which was comparatively a lot more back then in early 90’s) which I think was because of breach of contract.

    I don’t know if she filed for a Ch7 or Ch11, but I doubt the former as I think she had much in term of assets to let a BK trustee to liquidate it all; but then again, BK laws were completely different back then!

    You Dad had the hots for her too? Huh! Thanks for sharing, because I now feel quite a bit older too 😉

  495. Principium says:

    @ FBSD: An Athlete’s Foot manager?! Do you have an itch you are not telling us about? 😉

  496. FatBastardSD says:

    @Rosie

    “Anyway, I’m sure everyone is extremely bored with this topic already. Shall we discuss something a littler more interesting? Like causal determinism?”

    Finding the right initial conditions seem to be the tricky part. Suppose I would have claimed to be a rich young good looking wall street executive who spends $5K for lunch and offers a $5K gift rather than being a Athlete’s Foot manager. How many blog SB’s would have been after me?

    Well, I think we all know the answer to that question :-).

  497. Rosie says:

    “My interpretation was that the authors the study wanted to show that there is some contradictory evidence to earlier papers which seemed to validate the thinking that rich/successful/well educated older men marry younger women.” -FatBastard

    I agree. This one statement below from the conclusion of the study perfectly aligns with your interpretation.

    “The empirical results in this paper are inconsistent with most existing economic models of age of marriage and marital age gap. .”

    I also noticed the study states that estimations were made by using men only in their first marriage. That alone would completely change many of their findings.

    Anyway, I’m sure everyone is extremely bored with this topic already. Shall we discuss something a littler more interesting? Like causal determinism? 😉

  498. FatBastardSD says:

    @Rosie

    Papers in the engineering/physics fields are very different. Many (the ignorant among us) would consider them equally boring though :-).

    My interpretation was that the authors the study wanted to show that there is some contradictory evidence to earlier papers which seemed to validate the thinking that rich/successful/well educated older men marry younger women.

    How these publications are used or spun by the media and other interest groups is where the problem begins. Think about this the next time someone starts to blather on about how the “peer reviewed” literature supports their position.

  499. flyr says:

    @guru “The study has received plenty of media attention and most of them just repeat the headline verbatim. ”

    Whittaker Chambers noted that while he was feature writer for then well respected Time his real power came when he was the headline writer for the Daily Worker,

    It’s difficult to overstate the intellectual laziness and corruption that passes as mainline journalism in too much of the industry. If you want to know the dirt read the stories that come out on Friday’s , especially before major holidays like this weekend.

    I think the greatest true “sugardaddy” of all time was Henry Kissinger.

    He was usually in the company of a beautiful, classy and intelligent young woman.

    In the pre Gloria Allred days it was not uncommon that some job orders to a firend’s headhunter agency came with the understanding that the applicant understood the salary included a sugar component. We used to laugh at her stories of how she would patiently explain to married women and others that while a particular job looked really attractive it was probably not the job for them.

    Even on the non sugar side of the house there was a lot of stuff which would cause convulsive angst today going on in major corporations among their staff.

    Sites like SA have just brought a lot of it out into the light.

    Personally I think SA would be more successful running a more low profile social media marketing program rather than focusing on the mainstream press.

  500. DianaSBinOC says:

    33% are married? Isn’t it closer to 46 or 58% maybe even higher? After looking over fake sugar daddy blogs the one single component in complaints, other than the guy being broke was the he was in fact hiding his marriage status.

    • SD Guru says:

      Interesting study, but it has little relevance to the real sugar world despite the press release headline.

      “The study… showed that those married to older or younger spouses scored negatively in key areas…”

      That’s the problem right there. It assumes the sugar world consists of only married couples with a large age difference. Really? That just shows how ignorant the general public is about the real sugar world.

      “It simply found that the greater the age difference, the higher the negative indicators.”

      That may be true. But calling SD’s a myth based on the conclusion of a flawed premise is a myth in itself.

      “Their findings largely reflect the different networks that lower or higher ability individuals belong to.”

      That’s the great thing about SA: it brings people from diverse socioeconomic networks together in the common pursuit of sugar. Why don’t they study that! :mrgreen:

      @flyr
      “Overall I think it would be better if SA just ignored this stuff.”

      Nice to see your “r” making a return! :) The study has received plenty of media attention and most of them just repeat the headline verbatim. Anyone in the real sugar world can see through the study like we’ve done here in the blog so it’s worth the effort to set the record straight.

      @Principium
      “Every SB whom I have ever communicated with has told me that a much higher ratio than 1 out of 3 POT SDs disclosed that they are married.”

      I’m always skeptical when a new figure is cited for the percentage of single SD’s. While I think the trend of more single, younger SD’s is valid due to the increased awareness and popularity of sugar dating, in percentage terms I still think in reality there are more married SD’s or close to 50/50.

  501. Rosie says:

    Didn’t Basinger file bankruptcy or something? I remember her mostly as the trailer park alcoholic mom of Eminem in the movie 8 Mile. I know my dad always had a thing for blondes and she was def on the list of his Hollywood crushes! I had to google Jerry Hall. Don’t know much about her at all.

  502. Principium says:

    @ Rosie: Basinger was quite a hot piece of arse till the mid 90’s. Back then, I was what, like 30-31 and she is exactly 10 years older than me. She was in some crappy movies with Alec Baldwin but still, she was very hot… Never had anything for Jerry Hall, way too tall (6 feet) and too horse faced for my tastes! I started noticing her when she was Bryan Ferry’s GF before Mick Jagger, but I was just a little nipper back then 😉

  503. Principium says:

    ^^^ I’d like to know when someone nails JD ^^^

    I suspect that’s the real stuff we are going to move back onto? I need details JD 😉

  504. flyr says:

    As usual JD nailed this , we should be moving on to real stuff.

  505. flyr says:

    Like so many other “academic” studies it’s laughable. What’s not so surprising is that lab rats with near identical DNA behave differently at various institutions depending on the orientation of the university. Gerbellian outcomes are not uncommon at the great universities.
    As
    It’s also interesting that in the university setting grade sugar or mentor sugar was an accepted faculty benefit even at state colleges until very recently. It would be interesting to see a study of the outcomes of these relationships.

    Overall I think it would be better if SA just ignored this stuff. My take is that the concept of sugar has not changed over the last 30 years, but rather technology has taken it from a somewhat random exercise to the computer age. Sexual discrimination cases have discouraged on the job sugar (often at the company expense) and sent it into cyberspace.

  506. Rosie says:

    “Fair enough, that eliminates those two then, so perhaps I can use one of them in my next Gravatar instead :D” -Princi

    You’d have to use the nudie of Kim Basinger (circa, 1980-something?) to make it hotter than your current gravie! 😉

  507. Rosie says:

    Yaaaaaaawn! What a boring study. I mean, truly humdrum and repetitive. (Didn’t you think so, FatBastard?) I guess they usually are unexciting to read so I shouldn’t be surprised.

    The entire study is based PURELY on marriages and marriages only. The fact that all of this was somehow twisted in the press release as being a piece on debunking “Sugar Daddies and Cougars” (and labeling them is mythical even) is utterly ridiculous and proof of how words can get so easily twisted. Well, “Cougars” was actually mentioned in the report, but no mention of SDs at all.

    Yep, wasted $15. Especially when the BF just showed me where I could downloaded it online for free. Hmmmm. He did go to school for many more years than I did so I guess I would be in the “low quality” category mentioned in the study. Lol.

  508. Principium says:

    @ FBSD:

    “A central premise of the study seems to be that people in upwardly mobile professions are never exposed to young members of the opposite sex once they graduate college. It is interesting that they used census data from 1960-1980…”

    What a bunch of horse manure! Ever since the advent of social media, hot young women don’t even need to show up at events to catch the attention of a real baller (not necessarily an athlete) A bunch of scantly clad & sexy selfies on Instagram and Twitter ought to do it 😉

  509. Principium says:

    ^^^ Tease ^^^

    Fair enough, that eliminates those two then, so perhaps I can use one of them in my next Gravatar instead 😀

  510. Rosie says:

    “@ Rosie: is that a young Jerry Hall or Kim Basinger in your gravatar?!” -Princi

    Nope. Neither. 😉

  511. Rosie says:

    I don’t consider bloggers REAL journalists so the errors in the blog postings here don’t bother me. When I see errors in the WSJ, NYT or USA Today, however, I cringe. I’m more interested in this study by the University of Colorado, which I am now about to finally give my full attention to now that I’m finished with my day.

  512. FatBastardSD says:

    @Jersey Darling

    “Jerkface! lol. I’d be the sexiest coworker you’ve had!”

    That is the problem. Sexy coworkers decrease productivity. I remember casual Fridays when I would wear short shorts to show off my legs and ass. All the women in the office were too distracted and could not get any work done. The cleaning staff suffered greatly as well, cleaning all the vomit out of the trash cans was not an easy job.

  513. Jersey Darling says:

    Thank you :) Whenever I can’t sleep, the gravatar changes!

  514. sweetie says:

    Nice gravatar, by the way :)

  515. Jersey Darling says:

    @Sweetie, I’ve noticed. I hate to be that person, but I can’t even think of debating a point when it’s not written properly. I don’t get that far, I just stop reading.

    Glad to see you guys are up late, I can’t sleep… my blog buddies can keep me company 😀

  516. sweetie says:

    Jersey, this is not the first time a post has been poorly edited… I guess we’ll just have to get over the fact that attention to detail is lacking and that double checking spelling/word choices is apparently not that important when having a blog.

  517. Jersey Darling says:

    @FatBastard” “During these times this point may have been valid as the workplace was much more male dominated than it is today (something which I think we should go back to by the way)”

    Jerkface! lol. I’d be the sexiest coworker you’ve had! 😛

  518. FatBastardSD says:

    @Rosie

    I think you wasted $15!

    A quick glance so far:

    As you pointed out the study focuses on marriage. Arrangements, p4p, financial domination, or (my personal favorite) $10K/month platonic friendships which are provided by the SA site are not discussed!

    The authors seem to indicate that even in the case of marriage the negative effects are less pronounced when discussing individuals who have very high levels of education and those marry older. Sounds like a typical SD to me!

    A central premise of the study seems to be that people in upwardly mobile professions are never exposed to young members of the opposite sex once they graduate college. It is interesting that they used census data from 1960-1980. During these times this point may have been valid as the workplace was much more male dominated than it is today (something which I think we should go back to by the way), but I just don’t buy this argument these days.

    The section describing how attraction was measured was quite amazing! BMI index used as a measure of how good looking someone is. I suppose all of those professional athletes women drool over who rate as obese on the BMI index have it all wrong!

  519. Jersey Darling says:

    Heh…

    “Naturally, we disputes this claim.”

    We disputes? Need an editor much?

    “First of, whoever conducted this study clearly has no grasp of the Sugar Bowl or how it works.”

    First OF? Really need an editor to be taken seriously. Also, use of the word clearly here is not appropriate – I remember my high school teachers beating this out of me, and I wish I could remember what they called it. In “journalism” or proper writing you are supposed to objectively make a point and let the reader draw their own conclusions, not try to illustrate it for them/insult them by writing “clearly.”

  520. SugarySpicey says:

    Fati, baby, you’re just feeling feisty. Come over here and I’ll crawl in your lap and you won’t need to try to pick fights with sugars anymore. I’ll let you give me three orgasms, and I’ll only expect $5K or a day on Rodeo for the experience – I’m feeling generous.

  521. FatBastardSD says:

    @Principium

    I appreciate being considered a fake and splendida daddy by the SA writers! Based on some of the recent blog topics I do wonder if SA is trying to change the SD demographic.

    As for the SA reaction. A big difference is that SA is a business, they are supposed to market themselves. Academic studies are supposed to be objective (even though very few achieve that goal).

  522. lil_tm says:

    I’ve always had the hots for Leo. I wanna bite his bottom lip. grrrrr 😀

  523. Principium says:

    @ Rosie: is that a young Jerry Hall or Kim Basinger in your gravatar?!

  524. Principium says:

    Before we delve into the academic study conducted by the Uni of Colorado, how about just deal with the following gems in the SA staff response (dispute):

    “… Only 33 percent of the site’s Sugar Daddies are married and you’re probably looking at close to the same numbers elsewhere as well. Monogamy isn’t exactly one of the main appeals of Sugar Dating.”

    Maybe only 33% (the very convenient 1 out of 3 figure one pulls outta his own arse) of the SA SD’s “state” on their profile to be married! Every SB whom I have ever communicated with has told me that a much higher ratio than 1 out of 3 POT SDs disclosed that they are married. Then again, the latter part of that quote seems to me to contradict the first part of the statement and at best, it is a case of plausible deniability by the SA staff writer.

    Or how about this little gem:

    “Now onto the claims of wealth decreasing, a true Sugar Daddy has the disposable income to maintain a Sugar Baby or multiple Sugar Babies at a time. No amount of eyelash batting or flashing that 1000 watt smile will cause a successful man lose common sense and decrease his net worth. Key word there: Net Worth. Upper-class gentlemen consider this their wealth, while fakers, or Splenda Daddies, consider their monthly income as wealth.”

    Many batting eyelashes and 1000 Watt smiles from women cause serious endangerment of that tightly guarded “networth” Let’s start by sampling the highly paid athletes in our professional sports. I can’t believe that SA is taking a swipe at “fakers & Splenda SDs” who may very well be paying the monthly membership fees.

    The research paper may very well be full of cracks (awaiting Rosie’s analysis) but it seem to me that this piece written by SA is also very reactionary (to be expected)

  525. FatBastardSD says:

    @Rosie

    I await your analysis!

  526. sweetie says:

    Why even bother to make a post about this? Research what? Shows there’s too much money in the academia.

  527. Rosie says:

    @Fatbastard

    I just went to the MIT Press Journals page and bought a PDF copy of the study. As ridiculous as it all sounds, I’m highly curious to see if there’s anything in the study that doesn’t sound as ridiculous as the press release. A waste of $15, I’m sure.

  528. James.m says:

    Beach.
    Just in case you look here first, I left you a note on the previous blog.
    James

  529. FatBastardSD says:

    @Rosie

    To be fair we should read the article itself and not the press release. There is often a big difference between the two. On the other hand it is quite shocking at what passes for academic research.

  530. FatBastardSD says:

    @Frank

    I aim to please!

    @All
    The above does not apply when it comes to giving my SB orgasms. If I am paying I make sure as hell the SB does not enjoy it.

  531. Rosie says:

    Also this study assumes the people in these relationships want to get married to each other. So many cracks in this sidewalk.

  532. Rosie says:

    From the study:

    “For the study, they looked at U.S. Census Bureau data from the years 1960 through 2000.”

    “Couples with big age differences are typically less attractive, less educated and make less money than couples of similar ages, according to a new study. And the greater the age difference, the greater these negatives…”

    “Physical attractiveness was gauged from another national survey on adolescent health.”

    “Couples with big age differences tend to be less attractive, the study found. Men married to older women may be the exception, however.”

    I can’t read any of this and take it seriously. Is this study for real or written by a woman scorned? Or a fifth grader?

  533. frank says:

    Fat daddy, I’m glad you pointed it out for us high school educated shoe store manager wanabe SD’s as well.

  534. FatBastardSD says:

    “I bring it up for the majority of the SB’s who are not that familiar with higher education”

    I threw that one in for old times sake!

  535. FatBastardSD says:

    The beauty of statistical arguments in the social sciences is summed up by the following quote from the press release:

    “Hugh Hefner is an outlier,”

    Outliers are a social scientists way of justifying why their hypothesis is not supported by the data. Based on this reasoning every unmarried wealthy SD using the SA site could be classified as an outlier.

    It is very interesting to note that the SD myth was described in an academic environment where you find professors that have relationships with young graduate students. I am sure many SD’s who have been to graduate school have encountered these situations but I bring it up for the majority of the SB’s who are not that familiar with higher education.

  536. Jersey Darling says:

    LOL, Di Caprio… Do patio haha, autocorrect!

  537. Jersey Darling says:

    First 😀

    Has anyone seen the then and now meme of the Leonardo do patio image used on this blog post, comparing his toast in Great Gatsby to the toast in Titanic?

  538. Angela says:

    All personalities and perspectives are welcome in the blog, while personal attacks and name calling are not. It’s inevitable that there will be disagreements but let’s handle it as mature adults with class to keep the dialog constructive and respectful. Please refer to the “Blog Etiquette” for more details. For the newbies, please take a look at the “Sugar Daddy Dating Tips” section on the right for a list of commonly discussed topics and the “SD and SB Blog List” section to see the perspective of other sugars. Now comment away and let’s enjoy the blog…

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