4 years ago
Do’s and Don’ts for Sugar Babies

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Do: Be Brutally Honest

As Brandon has said, “The best Sugar Baby and Sugar Daddy relationships form out of brutal honesty”. If you go into an arrangement with all your expectations on the table, each person will know what to expect from each other.

Don’t: Have Unrealistic Expectations

The funds and luxuries you attain while in the Sugar Bowl alone will never make you rich. It’s what you do with that extra income. That being said, you shouldn’t think that being a Sugar Baby will solve all your problems once you find a Sugar Daddy. It takes a little while to find the right Sugar Daddy, and a little bit more to establish a relationship.

Do: Verify Everyone

It’s hard to date with 100% confidence. But, with online dating, or at least on SeekingArrangement.com, you can get pretty close. We insist that you only date verified members, so you should insist that any Sugar Daddy who is interested in you be verified. You can’t risk your safety because you are afraid of scaring off POT Sugar Daddies. It isn’t a gimmick. Your safety is our number-one priority. It should be your’s too.

Don’t: Rely on Sugar for Income

Sugaring is not welfare. Mutually beneficial relationships bring two people together who believe that money should be an important part of a partnership. Don’t rely on Sugar as your main source of income. Consider it like an end of the year bonus that comes every month. Monthly necessities should be covered by your paycheck, while Sugaring monies should be used for luxuries.

Do: Keep Your Emotions in Check

I think Brandon does a good job at explaining this: “Don’t forget that, as a Sugar Baby, part of what you offer is a drama-free, simple, and fun experience whenever you are with your Sugar Daddy. One of the main reasons Sugar Daddies seek Sugar Babies is to find someone to help them take the stress away. Keep your emotional expectations in check. Don’t slip into being emotionally-dependent on your Sugar Daddy that isn’t ready for a long-term commitment. Of course, this isn’t always easy, especially if your Sugar Daddy slips up and drops the ‘L’ (love) bomb on you after a night of one too many drinks.”

Don’t: Fake It

If you aren’t interested, it’s going to show. Don’t try to force or fake chemistry that isn’t there. Otherwise, you are setting the rest of time in the Sugar Bowl to be miserable. Pair up with a Sugar Daddy that you have a genuine attraction to. Interests should also play a key role. Although you may want to experience new things in life, if you absolutely hate finance skip the Sugar Daddies whose idea of morning conversation is chatting about the markets.

Do: Be On Your Guard

You wouldn’t trust a guy 100% after the 3rd date. The same goes for Sugar dating. Be wary of peculiar or weird behavior and save the private meeting places for when you have established a strong bond of trust. Until then, keep a friend in the loop of where you are going for each meeting.

Don’t: Settle

Maybe your Sugar Baby profile is getting as many hits as you had hoped. Don’t settle for just any Sugar Daddy because you want to go head-first into the Sugar Bowl. This is how Sugar Babies end up in Splenda relationships. Pick wisely and stick to your standards.

What are other Sugar Baby DOs and DON’Ts?

What are the most important things that new Sugar Babies should know?

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757 Responses to “Do’s and Don’ts for Sugar Babies”

  1. Luiggi says:

    I agree with not keeping a trust with any appointment at 100%, especially with the strange and dangerous things we see every day …

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    Should I sign a contract? My POT has a nine page document associated with an agreement. Is this typical? Is it a red flag?

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    Should I sign a contract? My POT has a nine page document associated with an agreement. Is this typical? Is it a red flag?

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    Sugar daddy’s meeting the right exciting sugar baby’s that fufill there lifestyle with fun.

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    These are good points and rules for all sugarbabies to stick to. Some of them even apply to sugardaddies too. Good post.

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    hi everyone so I have been reading the blog comments for a little bit and I would look to hear some advice and suggestions regarding sugaring. Also some criticisms of my profile. It may come off a little bit hard edged at the end. But after having a conversation on the phone with one pot daddy I felt it would be better to put my expectations and terms on profile. So they can just read that and then me and whoever could just have a light conversation instead of straight to business. Thank you ahead of time! :)

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    • Jaybird923 says:

      Don’t contact him move on. Anyone who thinks that’s acceptable behavior is not someone you should invest more energy in. It would have taken very little effort to courteously end the interaction if he was no longer interested.

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    • Jaybird923 says:

      Things are different on SA. The same rules do not apply. There’s a lot of helpful articles on the other site let’s talk sugar. You should start with this article

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    • Jaybird923 says:

      @Andrea First I’m sorry you’re having such a hard time right now. Secondly you profile is really bad. there are some good points but negative overshadow them.

      1)Your picture is not very flattering and it’s your only one.

      2) You share way to much information no one needs to know about your domestic issues keep them to yourself. People come here to find an escape not to be burden with other peoples problems.

      3) Even though you say you are comfortable in your own skin your profile proves otherwise. Do not compare your body unfavorably to others. Don’t bring attention to the negative concentrate on what’s beautiful about the body you have. And get some great pictures that properly shows it off.

      Hope these pointers help and that everything works out for you. good luck with everything.

    • zito says:

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      Finding the “right” SB has required, for me, a lot of patience, thought process, research, writing, re-writing, re-writing, and more re-writing the descriptive text in my profile. I’ve taken several pictures of me, evaluate them to try to find my best possible presentation — that been a key word in here, and of course, paying for access to the website as a POT SD. I am 5’8″ 140lbs, and while I am not a Brat Pitt, I think I am a 6-7 in attraction. I have been here for almost two years I believe. Oh!, and I am not rich ha ha ha, very important factor for some SBs here.

      I have managed to attract and be in several initial meet-and-greet dates, with some attractive ladies from here, and some of them have told me, once they have met me, “you are not my type”, “I was expecting more chemistry”, and several others did not even have the courtesy of replying back AFTER that first meeting. I have had countless email conversations. Some of them ending without even a good-bye. Some have formally stated they want to meet me, and once I reply “yes, when and where”, only silence follows. I understand people change their minds, but they do not have the courtesy to even tell me so. It has; therefore, required a lot of patience.

      I’m currently dating one very beautiful lady. We are in the first stages, first dates, learning if this is going to be a good fit for us in terms of mutual expectations, personalities, schedules, etc.

      I can tell you that I am attracted to good photos, well written profiles, ladies who write coherently when replying to my introductory well written emails. This is to me an indication that the lady is serious about finding a potential arrangement. She is putting the effort to look good in her photos, and is not hiding anything. She is not playing mind games. Not all men want model like SB’s, some do. Many of us seek a connection, which is only established after we are first attracted to what we see, and then we get to know each other.

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  80. Angeleyes says:

    To bring it back to the blog post, I utilize every one of the “Do’s.” I always feel that being brutally honest establishes the tone of the relationship. Being open and honest with one another regarding each person’s wants and needs has worked wonderfully and knowing that it is ok to pass on someone is always good to keep in the back of your mind. Being on the site for the past year I have chat, emailed, and met a wide spectrum of pot SD’s and have FINALLY found exactly what I was looking for and we have been going strong for almost 4 months. I hope that each and every one of us finds that special one but I have always utilized the tips that are presented in the blog and they have worked wonders and prevented me from wasting my time.

  81. Angeleyes says:

    @Moods not sure how you feel about it but I have a career which is moving along very well in part due to my SD’s assistance. With that being said I have always declined any pictures or videos unless it was for my private viewing. As you stated, you have no idea where those photos will end up and as he is showing you other’s photos you may be one of them he shows to the next person!
    I think always think, if you are unsure and have to think twice, then Don’t Do It! Never compromise yourself or your future. Hope I wasnt too harsh but I have learned the being up front and honest about what you are and are not comfortable with establishes the tone of the relationship.

  82. moods says:

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  83. @able secret taste like cherry coke isn’t my id name I was listening to a song whilst on the blog and that was one of the lyrics.

  84. shanna says:

    I met this potential pot on SA.com. He lives close to me when I am living on campus . He lived about 60 miles from me. I think that is reasonable since we’ll only meet once a week. I can make the trip. On our second date we went to his beach front cottage and before that he handed me $400, as a gift. After coming back from lunch at an italian restaurant, we retired back to his home. He was getting touchy feely, so I decided to remind him that we hadn’t agreed on an arrangement yet. He asked me my allownace expectations. I told him, to tell me his budget so that it doesn’t seem transactional. He said $1000 a month, and I said I wanted $2000 a month. We negotiated a $2000 a month allowance for 4 times a month. He went to his car to get another $100 so that it would be $500 per meeting. After that we went to the bedroom and I satisfied him.

    What worries me is that he kept mentioning that I would now be returning to LA and leaving ventura. I told him that it wasn’t far and That I could definitely still make it to our meetings, I don’t know if he is truly serious about continuing our arrangement. I sure hope so, he would be my first sugar daddy. Oh yeah, I told him I was all about pleasing and mutualism and he wants a college sb, which I am. We have great conversations and he is a gentleman and nice.

  85. Able Secret says:

    how come these guys want to go to personal emails right off the bat….I absolutely refuse to do that unless I have met them in person and get a feeling about them. anyone else experiencing this?

  86. Able Secret says:

    @tasteslikecherrycoke: start with changing your ID name….it isn’t classy. write an intellectual profile. not too sexy, but flirtatious.

  87. Hello bloggers,
    I have been on SA for 2 months now and have just been approached by people who are not being honest about their intentions or financial status is there anyway to weed out these fake Sugar Daddies or profile tips to not attract these characters. I almost had a TIA after being asked to meet a man at a holiday inn to have sex for £200 please help

  88. flyr says:

    @jersey Re blogs – even without your picture or name your footprints lead to your virtual home unless you take obsessive precautions . But of course you know that because you know

    Re Perfect Breasts – Based on extensive research conducted in both the lab and field it’s been determined that there is no perfect size. The key difference is that there are happy breasts that dance in the moonlight and morose breasts that simply exist.

    Abundant,……… perky it’s all good when its good……………….

    Perhaps the exception is the SD looking for arm candy but that’s a whole different topic.

  89. Beach_Girl says:

    Spicey~ part of the blog.. a long time 😀
    But on and off, not here often anymore, I don’t have time.

  90. SugarySpicey says:

    So, I’m going to follow some wise blog sisters and pursue the “attraction and connection” concept; although I keep winking at Subby’s on SA. My pathos is drawn to that like FatiB to an Italian Sub or Capitol P to anything in a skirt!

  91. Spicey says:

    My SD pulled some really shady stuff about a month ago. We’ve been winding down for a couple of weeks. That probably explains why I’m on the blog more (and Kranky ’cause I need some sexy time).

    How long have you been on the blog, Beachy?

  92. Beach_Girl says:

    Spicey~ Why? don’t you already have a SD? or is it just for fun?
    Yeah the blog is quiet…

  93. Spicey says:

    Dipping my toes in the sugar world again. Though I’m experimenting with only responding to guy’s I’d actually be interested in IRL. Got messages by an old college professor of mine this afternoon.

    Sugar Bowl is quiet tonight.

  94. Beach_Girl says:

    It’s ok actually. I’m good.
    How are you doing?

  95. Spicey says:

    How’s the nici withdrawal going Beachy?

  96. Beach_Girl says:

    Hello sugars!

  97. Spicey says:

    FattyB and Capitol P-

    “I think deep down inside every SD thinks he is Benjamin Button.”

    And that is why they chase after young SBs – y’all think our nectar is your secret fountain of youth. Well, that and our quarter-bouncing asses. 😉

  98. FatBastardSD says:

    @Principium

    I think deep down inside every SD thinks he is Benjamin Button.

  99. FatBastardSD says:

    @SDinLA

    Problem was that the yuppies who owned them thought that a collage degree and living in a nice neighborhood ment they could not make a mistake driving a car.

  100. FatBastardSD says:

    @Principium

    Went to one yoga class because it was supposed to be full of hot women. Nope full of old fat ex Audi5000 LuLu pants ladies.

  101. Principium says:

    P.S. The term 86’ed originally came from a bar in NYC where it had a back door opening onto to the 86th street. The owner used to instruct the bouncers to throw out trouble makers through the back door…

  102. Principium says:

    @ SDinLA: according to the clueless FB, the old farts grew young to become LuLu Lemon wearing yogis. I guess Benjamin Button is his fave flick!

    @ FB: I have a feeling you’d take a liking to LuLu if you read about its founder Chip Wilson. Oddly enough, you may be cut from the very same fabric as Ol’ Chip 😉

    @ Splicey: was that a pick up line?

  103. lil_tm says:

    Don’t forget to DP & PP!

  104. Spicey says:

    Capitol – we got the go ahead. Wanna hump?

  105. Spicey says:

    SDLaLa – I have a three inch burn scar on my upper, thigh from crashing a motorcycle before I learned to drive. If you squint really good at my avatar you might almost be able to almost see it. Motorcycles ain’t no joke either.

  106. lil_tm says:

    “But TM, Capitol P lives in Cali so it would have to be P4P, and that would make me a whore.”

    By whose definition? As long as you’re not hurting anyone, forget the naysayers and do what makes you happy.

  107. Spicey says:

    Capitol P- I don’t even remember when that phrase became part of my lexicon, it’s just always been there. Same as 86’d (from working in restaurants). Without Googling it, I don’t know the real meaning.

    Teach me … *she says, putting her fists to her cheeks and looking up at him with big blue eyes.

  108. Spicey says:

    Y’all. Are disrupting my blogging about my first orgasm for chats about old farts accelerating?! Really?

  109. SDinLA says:

    @Principium re: the Audi 5000, and it turned out that the problem was old farts and bad drivers hitting the accelerator instead of the brake, and when the car lurched forward and accelerated, instead of realizing that they were pressing the wrong pedal, they’d press even harder on the accelerator, still thinking it was the brake.

    Everyone should have to ride a motorcycle on the streets for a year before they get a driver’s license. Natural selection would eliminate all of the idiots who can’t drive and should not be allowed to pilot a 5,000# SUV at 75mph.

  110. FatBastardSD says:

    @Principium

    The amazing thing was the claim that the Audi5000 could accelerate even when the brake pedal was fully depressed.

    Not really sad to see Audi hammered. It was the ultimate yuppiemobile for future LuLu yoga pants people :-).

  111. Principium says:

    Well, it’s not like you live on the Moon! It’s just UT, sorta like Uranus 😉

    Ref Audi5000: How can you use the phrase and not know that Audi Motors almost folded and went BK here in the U.S. because the Audi 5000 model was prone to sudden, impromptu and unforced acceleration which caused casualties and death in the 80’s. The urban term comes from that unfortunate saga. Next you’ll tell me you never heard of being 86’ed?

  112. Spicey says:

    But TM, Capitol P lives in Cali so it would have to be P4P, and that would make me a whore. :(

  113. Spicey says:

    Deary FattyB – Audi5000 is a phrase I use for leaving something with speed. I didn’t even know that was a version of the car.

  114. FatBastardSD says:

    @Spicey

    Driving an Audi5000 and impressed with a European PhD.

    The Athlete’s Foot manager is probably out of your league.

  115. lil_tm says:

    ^You two get a room already!

    😉

  116. Spicey says:

    … although there are a few stories that I may just have to share. Hmmm, is a sugar bound to confidentiality even if she completely changes the distinguishing characteristics of her Daddy?

  117. Spicey says:

    Capitol – I only write dirty for my novels. I get paid for sexy talk. 😉

  118. Principium says:

    Make sure you limbic the heck outta that new SB blog. OK, I’m off to some skinny dipping. It’s so hot & gorgeous in here ;P

  119. Spicey says:

    Capitol, that was kinda hot. Limbics reactivating!

  120. Spicey says:

    Yep! He just sent his phone #, thanks Google. I knew he looked familiar. Limbic system drying up.

  121. Principium says:

    Oh Splicey, I like to be jelly about you, all over you, in you, on top of you; but who said anything about being worried? 😉

  122. Principium says:

    Hey don’t be rude to Audi5000! I got laid in one of those and had the best sex of my life in it! Elvis shot his De Tomaso Pantera but try to find one of those in these days 😉

  123. Spicey says:

    Oh Capitol, don’t be jelly, you know you’ll always be my favorite. Don’t worry, this sugar’s radar is always on, but there was enough context in the profile that for now I’ll trust (then verify). I actually think he might have taught my World Religions class in college.

  124. Principium says:

    A European PHD? Pffft! I am only a half Euro and I’m already an astronaut, an accomplished Shakespearean actor, a Formula 1 driver and a complete asshole all wrapped into one. Oh, did I forget to add part-time SD to my already impressive CV?

  125. Spicey says:

    Nein, I let the Führer lick my ass. He couldn’t even do that right! Angry little man couldn’t even keep it up for a handie.

  126. Principium says:

    In 1942? Let me guess! Hmmm?! You blew Adolph?

  127. Spicey says:

    You’re right Sassy, the semi-colon was an odd choice indeed. We’ll see. I’ve been known to edit poorly when blogging from a mobile device. But a their/they’re slip or an apostrophe catastrophe and I’m Audi5000.

  128. sassynsweet says:

    @Spicey – “He’s European”

    Thank God. Otherwise his failure to grasp basic English grammar/punctuation would be a huge turn-off.

  129. Spicey says:

    Nope, I’m going to try it for real. I’ve been wr..wr..wrong before, once, in 1942.

  130. Principium says:

    Conversational hooks are always best if implied and indirect. Don’t argue with me because I know you better than you know you!

    I did read your earlier post, but I thought you were just experimenting for the new SB blog 😛

  131. Spicey says:

    Errr lubricate

  132. Spicey says:

    CP – you missed my message this morning. I’m switching things up, looking for pampering and NSA with real connection. Although I’m still going to struggle with an idea of a minimum threshold. Below a certain point, for me, the idea of sugar is a turn off. He’s European, and a PhD so that also helps lubricator the limbics.

    For me it was actually the questions that got me interested and are why I’ll probably reply. Half the time when I would have replied I don’t, because there’s no conversational “hook.”

  133. Principium says:

    @ Splicey: The SD’s approach is good, but not perfect

    I personally do not ask Qs in my intro email. I go by the OAR rule: Observe, Assume and then Relate. He is observant which is a 1/3 good, but not so assumptive or relatable! If he had not asked you “what to you write about” “where do you publish” “where are you from”, your vagina would be in super moist tingle mode with that hamster spinning in your head totally outta control 😉

    Then again, if the allowance amount alone is the key in your arrangement dynamics, he need not to be too relatable to.

  134. DianaSBinOC says:

    @Principium -“BTW, I see that the What Our Members Are Saying comments, are rotating randomly, so never mind!”

    Golden Nuggets? Can you copy and paste the two that you felt were the best? Or maybe summarize what was great about them?

  135. Spicey says:

    Fun day! Turns out my profile I thought I’d deleted was only hidden … all the stalking I missed. Profile is back up now, while I’m waiting for new edits to publish. I received a message from someone I thought I’d share, as its good, short, and shows he read every line of my profile, and has me wanting to reply.

    Good subject line, using my user name.

    Hi; how are you today? Hopefully fine. I like how you describe yourself especially when you say “high heels pointed toward the ceiling” you are going to melt my heart. Anyways what do you write about? And do you publish them. You do not sound as if you are from this area! Where are you from?

    He does a good job asking about me, makes me want to answer. He isn’t gross, but definitely flirty (which I like). And, he’s not pushy.

    First hours of SA are always kind of fun. Even more so once my new pics go up, I’m sure!

  136. lil_tm says:

    If she was a porn actress, I’ll have to look up those vids. She’s cute…a lot better looking than most of the ones I see.

    I’ve never tried naked yoga, but I do want to try hot yoga. Actually, simultaneously might be nice someday, but right now I’m off to do my boring little p90 yoga.

  137. WCSD says:

    @SDinLA – Have you ever tried a session of naked yoga? I have….thankfully I didn’t have to look at myself, and very difficult to finish the routine with that view, but the sex afterwards was very much worth it! If you ever have a chance give it a go!

  138. Principium says:

    @ SDinLA: Yes, she was (I don’t believe that she had any really hardcore stuff, but I may be mistaken) She never cloaked to hide her past (she was featured in HuffPo and talked about it there too) and in fact I think that was a major factor impeding her success with Fitness Cos like Beach Body.

    Since she moved to LA and subsequently split up from Fredrick Light (who is really surprised), there were some rumors swirling about her in the “Hobby World” but who really knows? Anyone can pull photos of a woman all over the Internet and forward to Hobby clients.

    Irrespective of her past, she seems to have great positive vibes about her and she has tons of free material on YT and her channel, plus she just released some workout DVDs on Amazon for next to nothing ($15>) I’m gonna buy a set even if I don’t really use them that much. Will give it as a present to the Ex 😉

  139. SDinLA says:

    @lil_tm Oops, sorry. Should have made the “NSFW” more prominent.

    Speaking of which…

    @WCSD and lil_tm Someone told me Zuzka Light was a popular porn star back in the Czech Republic

  140. lil_tm says:

    @SDinLA
    I missed the NSFW part on that vid! Good thing I got lucky. *whew!*

  141. lil_tm says:

    “Lil_One, do you also follow Zuzka Light’s ZWOW routines on YT? She was formerly with BodyRock…”

    She is a perfect example of what I mean when I say a girl can be fit and have muscle and not look like a man beast lol

  142. Principium says:

    I bet you can be persuasive so that FBSD can grace you with his 5 sec specials!

  143. Spicey says:

    Diana – I will for sure, can’t blow my wad in the first five minutes. That would be FattyB’s specialty. Thanks for taking a look.

  144. Principium says:

    SDinLA: Interesting Yoga Channel. Leaves not much to the imagination. Namaste 😉

  145. Principium says:

    Lil_One, do you also follow Zuzka Light’s ZWOW routines on YT? She was formerly with BodyRock…

  146. WCSD says:

    @FB – It isn’t for aesthetics for me. To get ripped it isn’t about the workout…it is all about the diet…and the result isn’t worth the sacrifice for me. I play hockey twice a week in the winter…and have found doing an all around exercise program (like P90X, etc.) gives me a performance boost on the rink as well. But agreed…if it was my only source of exercise it would be very boring.

  147. DianaSBinOC says:

    @Spicey- I was hoping you would write about your sugar journey:)
    Agggggh!! “screams like a squeaking little girl” haha:) Love it!

  148. Principium says:

    Good one Lil _One 😀

  149. Principium says:

    @ Lil Yes, you are now officially a boxing connoisseur and Howard Cosell is resting comfortably in eternal peace 😉

    BTW, I see that the What Our Members Are Saying comments, are rotating randomly, so never mind!

  150. lil_tm says:

    Everytime I start talkin’ about boxin’ a white man gotta pull Rocky Marciano out they ass! -Coming to America

    😀

  151. lil_tm says:

    @ Prince
    Of course I know who Mike Tyson is! It’s not everyday someone bites another persons ear off!

    And I have a George Foreman grill..does that count? 😉

  152. Principium says:

    Have you read the “What Our Members Are Saying” comments on the Home Page of SA? The current two are some golden nuggets!

  153. lil_tm says:

    “Nothing wrong with aesthetics as long as it’s done for the right reasons!”

    Health and feeling good about yourself?

  154. lil_tm says:

    “@lil_tm

    It is incredibly deceptive how much power a fat tubby guy can generate! And I am not talking about my gravitational pull or my incredible charisma!”

    Oh, I believe you! I’ve seen The Princess Bride many times and Andre the Giant showed me how its done! 😉

  155. SDinLA says:

    “Fight of the Century” aka Ali-Frazier I
    Foreman destoys Smoking Joe in Jamaica
    Ali-Frazier II
    “Rumble in the Jungle”
    “Thrilla in Manila” aka Ali-Frazier III

    Those were the days. The Welterweights in the 80s were awesome too, so many great fights between Ray Leonard, Hagler, Hearns, Duran, Benitez et al.

  156. Spicey says:

    I like Sara Jean, LALA, her boobs don’t look as obviously fake as some of the yoga girl’s in P’s video. I like my after-factory modifications without a clear seam.

  157. SDinLA says:

    @Principium I prefer this one if we’re posting sexy yoga vids (NSFW)

    [img]http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xqisq2_sara-jean-underwood-naked-yoga_sexy#.UYLK2o7v2Zg[/img]

  158. Spicey says:

    FB – we’re finished! I want to motorboat Amber now!

  159. Principium says:

    How about some Spicey Yoga?

    [img]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S6SZk7ylOLA[/img]

  160. Principium says:

    Cat Cows?!

  161. Principium says:

    @FB: It was pretty even till that 8th round. However, Foreman should have smoked Ali, jut like he did so with Joe Frazier (smoking 😉 ) had Ali gone toe-to-toe with a then 24 YO Foreman. As for a bad ass SD, Foreman could hardly support himself and his own 5 Geroge Jrs!

  162. Spicey says:

    If I’m dropping to all fours, don’t you have anything more interesting to do with me, Capitol?

  163. Principium says:

    @ Pricey: it’s not the same! Drop your lazy arse on the floor and give me 20 😉

  164. SDinLA says:

    @Wosie “You vewy vewy funny! Are you this way awound the cwock?”

    Only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays; the first Thursday of every month (except February, when it’s the third Thursday); and occasional Saturdays. Oh and when I drink.

    The rest of the time I’m a grumpy old man

  165. FatBastardSD says:

    @Principium

    I think the Ali/Foreman fight was much closer than the Foreman/Moorer fight though.

    Foreman was not so bad after his comeback either. Not as intimidating to be sure but a champion in his mid 40’s! He would have been a really bad ass SD!

  166. Spicey says:

    Although I enjoy a little Crossfit, ain’t no better workout than a long, naughty, ‘try every trick in the book’ shag session to get muscles working you didn’t remember that you have.

  167. Principium says:

    @ Lil_One:

    What GordoBastardo omitted to mention was that the fat guy who he posted in his YT clip, George Foreman was an absolute terror in the ring in his own hay days and most fighters were absolutely so terrified by him as Iron Mike Tyson was so terrifying ferocious in his own hay day (you may be too young to remember him as a fighter too)

    In any case, The Great Mohammad Ali defeated the all tough, buff and stacked young George Foreman by devising and implementing a technique known as, “rope a dope” Ironically, the older and wiser George Foreman used the same ploy in the other clip to defeat a much younger and fitter Moorer.

    Ah, this one brings back some memories from the era when I was a mere nipper and watching this fight, Rumble in the Jungle, with my Pappa:

    [img]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=10ZIxV9KWgY[/img]

  168. FatBastardSD says:

    @Principium

    Nothing wrong with aesthetics as long as it’s done for the right reasons!

  169. FatBastardSD says:

    @lil_tm

    It is incredibly deceptive how much power a fat tubby guy can generate! And I am not talking about my gravitational pull or my incredible charisma!

    A lot different than the movies. To be fair that was the tenth round. These guys were tired!

  170. Principium says:

    @ FBSD:

    I agree with you wholeheartedly and that is why I completely changed my fitness regiment:

    The awesome Yosemite is now my stair climber, the Ol’ Route 66 is my treadmill, The Majestic Pacific is my pool and the Deep Creek hotspring is my Jacuzzi. I don’t need my abs to kick ass or get my ass kicked, but the neighbor’s young hottie wife does use ’em frequently to wash her thongs 😉

  171. lil_tm says:

    “Lot’s of effort on aesthetics. All these exercises to build all of the secondary muscles that could be worked out by playing a sport or engaging in a physical activity. The best part is when these shredded guys assume they can kick everyones ass because they have abs.”

    But that punch doesn’t even appear pack much power! I suspect that guy that went down had ten too many the previous night..he went down too easy. 😛

  172. sassynsweet says:

    @JerseyDarling – You don’t have to put your full name (or even your photograph) on the blog…

  173. FatBastardSD says:

    @WCSD & lil_tm

    Lot’s of effort on aesthetics. All these exercises to build all of the secondary muscles that could be worked out by playing a sport or engaging in a physical activity. The best part is when these shredded guys assume they can kick everyones ass because they have abs.

    [\img]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U0SONoA5L1g&t=2m13s[\img]

  174. Jersey Darling says:

    I’ve thought about keeping a blog, but don’t know that I want to leave that permanent a footprint online.

  175. lil_tm says:

    “@lil_tm – I agree. I also prefer P90X over instanity because of the 3 days of ‘strength’ training. Where Insanity is too much cardio work for my liking…but then again that is the point of the variety in programs…find the one that motivates you. Recently I’ve been doing DeltaFit. Only 3 days a week, pretty intense, and incorporates a full body interval strength workout in 30 mins (which allows me to spend more time on other enjoyable things!)”

    The fact they incorporate yoga, plyo, strength training, cardio, etc into one program is pretty awesome because it’s hard to get bored.
    A nice change from running on the treadmill where it’s the same thing over and over again. Never heard of Deltafit..I’ll have to check it out.
    Anything to not have to go in the weight area at the gym after work where it’s all guys and maybe five girls..really uncomfortable! 😉

  176. sassynsweet says:

    @Spicey – YAAAAY, thank you! I’ll be reading every post :)

  177. Spicey says:

    P.S. – names, dates, and distinguishing characteristics will be modified to protect the sugar. No sugars were harmed in the making of that blog.

    Off to create a profile!

  178. Spicey says:

    Sassy – I’m going to try a little experiment. I am going to dip my toes back into sugary water. And, since this whole experiment gets my creative juices flowing, I’ll blog about it, until I find exactly what I’m looking for, or get bored; whichever comes first.

    The experiment? I’m going to attempt sugar from the perspective of seeking “real connection and chemistry” target my ad appropriately, and respond only to SDs I’d be interested in IRL.

    We’ll see what happens.

    You’re welcome to peek in from time to time if you like.

    Sugarmytips.wordpress.com

  179. WCSD says:

    @lil_tm – I agree. I also prefer P90X over instanity because of the 3 days of ‘strength’ training. Where Insanity is too much cardio work for my liking…but then again that is the point of the variety in programs…find the one that motivates you. Recently I’ve been doing DeltaFit. Only 3 days a week, pretty intense, and incorporates a full body interval strength workout in 30 mins (which allows me to spend more time on other enjoyable things!)

  180. lil_tm says:

    “In the end, P90X, insanity, Janet Gretzky exercise videos…none of them are ground breaking information. It is just an excuse to do what they say. A healthy lifestyle can take motivation, and if putting in a DVD and pressing play keeps you modivated…then that is all that matters. Which ‘athlete’ or program is on the DVD doesn’t really matter.”

    The things I find convenient about it are 1. It’s like having a personal trainer in your home but much less expensive and 2. You don’t have to worry about going to the gym, so you can work out anytime day or night

  181. WCSD says:

    Just a quick comment on the P90X/Insanity/etc. topic.

    I’ve done P90X…worked very well…won a sizeable bet while losing close to 30 lbs (dropped down to just over 200 at 6’4″). So it worked for me. I agree that it is not something that can make anyone ‘huge’. The number of sets and reps that you are doing in any of the body weight exercises limits your ability to ‘bulk’, but then again I wasn’t looking for that. Completely agree that Tony gets annoying…but you can start the DVD with ‘only cues’ and then just play some music in the back ground.

    In the end, P90X, insanity, Janet Gretzky exercise videos…none of them are ground breaking information. It is just an excuse to do what they say. A healthy lifestyle can take motivation, and if putting in a DVD and pressing play keeps you modivated…then that is all that matters. Which ‘athlete’ or program is on the DVD doesn’t really matter.

  182. Rosie says:

    @London Girl, slip him a few surprise Pizza Hut Groupons after your next shag! I heard extra spoiling can turn a FatBastard into one happy, sugary love bug.

  183. London Girl says:

    @Rosie, I truly don’t know, he’s supposed to be my rest and relaxation!

    Anyway, I’m about to head off to the pub for a glass of wine in the sunshine, FatBastard should be worried, I passed by earlier and there were more than a few Fat Bastard wannabees there…

  184. Rosie says:

    @London Girl

    Perhaps having a co-blog can be a place for you two to work out your sugar grouple issues? What’s up with those high maintenance SDs anyway?

  185. Rosie says:

    @sassynsweet

    I found one this morning that posted as recent as yesterday. I’ll try to find it again for you.

  186. London Girl says:

    @sassynsweet, sorry then, no idea. You’ll just have to make do with here!

  187. London Girl says:

    @Rosie, I’m not entirely sure it’s going to last to be honest, I mean it all started off fantastically and the moobs are out of this world! Lately though all he’s done is complain, about it just being about sex/ I don’t appreciate him/ he’s not just a beautiful body/ I don’t spoil him enough blah blah blah

    I even took him out for his dinner the last time, that wasn’t part of the original deal (so much for not spoiling him) and trust me that wasn’t cheap, he ate so much at the buffet that pizza hut charged me twice…

  188. sassynsweet says:

    @LondonGirl I’ve done google searches, but none of the blogs are active (it’s been years, months at the minimum, since anyone has posted on any of the blogs that I found.

  189. Rosie says:

    * was supposed to say..would touch so many lives! Guess I backspaced on accident?

  190. Rosie says:

    @London Girl & FatBastard

    I vote you two have a SB/SD (grouple?) Sugar Blog discussing how to negotiate the G4P deal. The advice given would be invaluable. would touch! You could call it “Memoirs of a Sugar Grouple”. For Groupies, Groupons…and Gropers.

  191. Spicey says:

    London, you are rather magnanimous to tolerate such sniveling. If the sex weren’t so mediocre I’m sure you’d trade him in for a roomier model.

  192. London Girl says:

    FatBastard- “I am a warm, kind hearted person and I always try to show people that the glass is half full. If you cannot see that from my posts then p*ss off you cow.”

    @Spicey, you see what I mean with the attitude problem?

  193. London Girl says:

    @Spicey, it’s difficult I admit but I can’t be bothered to find another at the moment, let’s face it men are pretty much all the same aren’t they? All want to be appreciated for more than their bodies, want to talk before and sometimes AFTER sex, all think that we’re interested in what they do when they aren’t with us, complain if they don’t have an orgasm… I mean, SERIOUSLY???

    His moobs are spectacular enough that he’s worth putting up with for now, if he could just stop complaining occasionally it’d be great…

  194. FatBastardSD says:

    @London Girl

    I am a warm, kind hearted person and I always try to show people that the glass is half full. If you cannot see that from my posts then p*ss off you cow.

    I have been thinking of a class action law suite against group on. If I have to buy two plane tickets for myself then I should be able to qualify as multiple people for a group as well right

  195. Spicey says:

    @London – someone needs to put a boob in that boob’s mouth to shut him up. Less talky talky FattyB, more humpy humpy.

    How do you put up with such a demanding sugar?!

  196. London Girl says:

    @Spicey, the lovely thing is that his moobs are even bigger than my boobs so it’s my first time I’ve really appreciated motorboating myself!

    He’s being a little difficult at the moment, usual male crap about not wanting to be just a sex object/dressing up for my fantasties/more to offer than just his body blah blah blah….

  197. FatBastardSD says:

    @sassynsweet

    I don’t think those programs will make you more muscular. Women really underestimate the level of effort required to build muscle and think they will look like body builders because they lift weights. All of those hollywood stories of actors putting on 10lbs of muscle a month for movie roles are steroid fueled fantasies.

    As for MMA fighters using p90 etc. check out Fedor Emelianenko

    [\img]http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2012/writers/loretta_hunt/06/27/fedor-emelianenko/index.html[\img]

    not the most impressive physique is it. Not exactly a push over though!

  198. London Girl says:

    @FatBastard, dinny talk pish man

    What else do you have to offer? You’ll be telling me next that you want to renegotiate our Groupon deal…

  199. Spicey says:

    Thanks for the solid London. May I get an advance on that offer? I would so like to motorboat FattyB’s moobies.

  200. FatBastardSD says:

    @London Girl

    I am not entitled, I made a decision that I am not going to let women treat me as a sexual toy used to fulfill their fantasies and desires anymore. I am a talented guy and I have sooo much more to offer than my body.

    I am a sucker for the scottish accent though

    [\img]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RcPgsMqPQpI[\img]

  201. London Girl says:

    @Spicey, if you’ll chip in towards his lipo Groupons then you can borrow FatBastard to help you out with your sex drought.

  202. Spicey says:

    Flipping through this blog feed and a couple before and I noticed that my “Spiceyness” has increased in direct correlation with my recent sex drought. I believe the CC&R’s state: In the interest of maintaining good community relations, in times of sex shortage, blog SDs should provide maintenance sex for any blog SB in need.

    Sorry gentlemen, but as self-elected Treasurer of the Blog Community Association I’m going to need to file a lien if someone does not perform their community obligations, and soon.

  203. Spicey says:

    Hi Sassy –

    I’ve just begun a sugar hiatus, so any blogging I would do on the subject would be postmortem. I did read this blog once upon a time, but you may find it less informative than you want. She links to other SB blogs on occasion including the Sarong Girl Blog which is good but less sugar focused: spoilmedaddy.blogspot.com

  204. Rosie says:

    “@Rosie, it’s soooo cold in Edinburgh… My unicorn doesn’t like the cold… It’s nearly time for Cannes, maybe they could do that instead?” -London Girl

    Ouch! No cold weather for my little uni either. I haven’t been able to find her a proper horn muff yet. That’ll teach me to just pick the first place after doing a keyword “amusement parks in London” google search!

    “@Rosie You didn’t miss the battle of wits, tits and clits…how could we start without one of the founding fathers(mothers) being present?? ;)” -lil_tm

    Oh thank goodness! I would hope I’d have FRONT row tickets or something. Not that I want to see any clit to clit action. Not into that. But I can appreciate a nice ‘rack fight’. 😉

    @sassynsweet, I found on one of the old blogs that SD Guru has a sugar daddy blog. Find his and then from there you can go to his followers and many of them have SB blogs.

    Good morning, class! :-)

  205. lil_tm says:

    “I’ve noticed that there’s a lot of talk of crossfit/mma/p9x/insanity – are guys liking the shift towards more muscular women? Is the slim, bendy yoga physique really on its way out, as fitness junkies want us to believe, or is this just more of the ‘real bodies’ stuff that people promote to try to counter EDs?”

    I think a common misconception is that women who do resistance training get big and bulky when it really isn’t possible for a woman to get muscles like a man without performance enhancing drugs.

    The awesome thing about p90 is that the lean version is more geared towards women because its all yoga, stretching and cardio. I love the yoga dvd!

    And I believe Insanity is all cardio, so you’d have no reason to be concerned with it.
    Chicks who do crossfit may look manly to some, but I just think they look super fit..

    http://huntforstrength.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/OHP.jpg

    http://www.list09.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/crossfit-girl-handstand.jpg

  206. London Girl says:

    I think both of them have previously said they’ve only been in a few months but I might be wrong…

    There are lots of blogs out there, just do a google search.

  207. sassynsweet says:

    @LondonGirl – They have so much more experience, a blog from someone who’s been in the sugar bowl for more than just a few months would be much more valuable!

  208. London Girl says:

    @sassynsweet, why don’t you start one?

  209. sassynsweet says:

    Also, can JerseyGirl and/or Spicey please start a personal sugar baby blog and share the URL? Pretty please with marshmallows on top?

  210. sassynsweet says:

    I’ve noticed that there’s a lot of talk of crossfit/mma/p9x/insanity – are guys liking the shift towards more muscular women? Is the slim, bendy yoga physique really on its way out, as fitness junkies want us to believe, or is this just more of the ‘real bodies’ stuff that people promote to try to counter EDs?

  211. lil_tm says:

    @Rosie
    You didn’t miss the battle of wits, tits and clits…how could we start without one of the founding fathers(mothers) being present?? 😉

  212. lil_tm says:

    @Prince
    Methinks the version I have came out after the original and there is one more after. Within this version, there are three different schedules you can choose from..classic/lean/doubles. The difference is in the type of discs you are doing, or in the case of doubles, a morning resistance training routine followed by a 2nd routine(cardio) in the evening.

    Tony was extremely annoying in the beginning, but he’s kind of grown on me. He definitely seems narcissistic, though. And his cast is kind of funny if you’re in the mood. One of them is a porn actress. It just starts to sound like a broken record once you’ve seen the DVD’s too many times. I have a couple of friends who train MMA and rotate the p90 and Insanity discs…with ankle weights!

    I’ve heard good things about Rushfit as well..and who doesn’t want to look at GSP? I missed his last fight..actually I haven’t caught a UFC since Rouseys bout. How about the transgender Fallon Fox? Craziness I tell ya!

    As for bouncing around in the sun with a beach body, I’d much prefer Europe or Asia, but the beach is driving distance and much more easily accessible, so I’ll have to go that route for now.

  213. London Girl says:

    @FatBastard, I see you’re getting argumentative… I’ll pay for your liposuction as agreed but I feel like you’re become a little entitled… Which is soooo unattractive…

    @Jersey, depending on FatBastards attitude problem adjustment there may be an opportunity as my latest SB, I’ll let you know!

    @Rosie, it’s soooo cold in Edinburgh… My unicorn doesn’t like the cold… It’s nearly time for Cannes, maybe they could do that instead?

  214. Rosie says:

    Can’t sleep so finally caught up on everything. Looks like I missed a lot. Battle of the tits and clits? All the excitement happens when I’m working!

    Checked out the instagram page of the 17 y.o. narcissistic “Lavish” kid. Wow. Is this kid for real?! In one of his photos, he’s pouring Pellegrino into a toilet and the caption reads: “Only take shits in sparkling water.” o.O

    He doesn’t need an SB. He needs to use some of his LAVISH money to go get an edu-ma-cation!

  215. Rosie says:

    Just skimmed bloggity blog quickly…might’ve missed a thing or two, but my thoughts just from the fast drive-by…

    @SDinElway

    You vewy vewy funny! Are you this way awound the cwock?

    @London Girl

    Kisses back to your white unicorn. My unicorn said she’s sick of Disneyland and would much rather spend time at The Edinburgh Dungeon. 😉

    Re: Arrangements being relationships?

    Yes, they most certainly are. At least that’s how I viewed all of mine. If I’m going to put on a crotchless Hazmat suit (you know, FattyBooBoo’s fave), it’s something I would do for any man I’m having sexxxy time with if that’s what he likes – arrangement or traditional dating. I just just personally wouldn’t feel good about feeling like I have to be “ON” for someone just because they are “taking care of me” in some form (monetary, luxury gifts, whatevah!). Doesn’t mean the other approach where you feel like you have to “act” is wrong. Just not my preference and I’m sure there are SDs who like the theatre method (different from ‘rhythm method’, boys and girls).

    “Plus, perky tits look awesome braless in a tiny little white tank top on a hot summer day. As I get older, I discover that more and more men really love a great, firm, perfect B cup.” – Spicey

    And as I get older, I discover more and more men love a really great, firm, perfect 34 D’s on a 5’10” woman with a small waist and round arse. It’s a good thing there’s plent-o-men out there to enjoy all of our shapes, huh?

    Back to paperwork now!!! Oh joy. But I was promised a foot massage later (ran around in heels all day! :-( ).

  216. Principium says:

    @ Lil: The classic has been around for a while. It was fun the first time around, but then I got bored with it the second time around, so I bought Tony Horton’s One-on-One series (part I & II), before he released the P90X Plus (I think this is the one you referred to as doubles?) I found him to be even more so annoying (he ad libs a lot) on his One-on-One DVDs, as he has no supporting cast, just a cameraman and many more exercise routines but slower pace and not as much sweating.

    I even tried Insanity and Asylum but as I’m getting older, I’m much more prone to injuries with longer recovery periods when I get fatigued and injured. I gave up on Insanity and Asylum is just tough, even for the real athletes who are the supporting cast. I think if you are in the 25-35 YO range, with proper form and caution, Insanity is OK. Since it is all just bodyweight, you will get a more shredded physique than what you’ll get with Insanity.

    The one which i really like these days is GSP RushFit. I like the variety and the fact that the designer of the program is a very established MMA trainer. George St. Pierre is just eye candy, but if you put the volume on mute, you don’t have to listen to him struggle to speak in English.

    Go rock that bikini bod for the Summer if that’s your thang 😉

  217. lil_tm says:

    “I found loss harder to adjust to. It’s as if it made me feel like everything was so ridiculous and worthy of scorn. Maybe another year and I’ll be in a better place. Right now, he still comes to mind everyday. It doesn’t help that his mom keeps updating his Facebook status with pictures of his life. But, I can’t even imagine the gravity of her grief, so it’s rather selfish of me to even say that.I found loss harder to adjust to. It’s as if it made me feel like everything was so ridiculous and worthy of scorn. Maybe another year and I’ll be in a better place. Right now, he still comes to mind everyday. It doesn’t help that his mom keeps updating his Facebook status with pictures of his life. But, I can’t even imagine the gravity of her grief, so it’s rather selfish of me to even say that.”

    Oh, it took me a long time to pick myself up and move on..a few years. And yea, the little things people get their panties in a twist about make you just shake your head. But I have to remind myself that there was a time when I thought these little irrelevant things were a big deal as well. It’s quite an experience to go through and completely changes your perspective about people, life, etc.

    His momma is probably dealing with the loss the best way she can. Poor lady..she probably feels like an empty shell walking around from day to day. I’m sure her heart is completely broken.

  218. lil_tm says:

    “@ Lil: which P90X were you doing?”

    Almost done with the classic version and then I’m going to do the doubles version. Only because it’s almost summertime and I wanna sit back and unwind(with nice abs) :)

    Truly, it’s a pain in the beeehind, but being good always is. :(

  219. allie says:

    found it spicey, thanks

  220. Spicey says:

    WISD: I’m not trying to be argumentative, but can I ask what you mean when you say you want time in the hotel room to be yours for whatever you want? It gave me an impression that may or may not have been correct.

  221. Spicey says:

    When I was 22 I may have wanted larger breasts, but the thing about a great firm proportional set is that they get better with age, ’cause they can’t sag.

    Plus, perky tits look awesome braless in a tiny little white tank top on a hot summer day. As I get older, I discover that more and more men really love a great, firm, perfect B cup. Love those ladies ’cause when you’re older you’ll be so glad that you have what you have!

    I found loss harder to adjust to. It’s as if it made me feel like everything was so ridiculous and worthy of scorn. Maybe another year and I’ll be in a better place. Right now, he still comes to mind everyday. It doesn’t help that his mom keeps updating his Facebook status with pictures of his life. But, I can’t even imagine the gravity of her grief, so it’s rather selfish of me to even say that.

  222. WISD says:

    Wow. I did not know that P4P word alone would bring storm on this blog. sorry if i caused any flames on blog.

  223. Principium says:

    @ Lil: which P90X were you doing?

  224. Principium says:

    What was the reason for block in the first instance and the subsequent change of mind/heart?!

  225. Principium says:

    That 17 YO is a hoot, but he is legitimately from a wealthy Indian Family (Becky?! Haha). He is a Sr at some HS in No. Cal but his mother is the CEO of some Indian VC bank, which is the JP Morgan Chase of India. Not a good idea to banter with rappers though. I believe he even called out Kanye West a broke ass n*gga. Gotta love Twitter & Instagram! Kids these day!

  226. lil_tm says:

    “I’m rather fond of my face and my tits, but I’ll consider that a compliment. Thanks TM.
    And terrible thing to hear you’re a widow. Losing one you love carves a hole in your being that is difficult to fill.”

    I am OK with my girls, but lets just say no man will ever be using my chest as a fluffy pillow. 😉

    And thanks..Yea, it wrecks your world and you’re never the same but if you are resilient enough to come back from it, the things that once seemed insurmountable become tiny little hurdles.

  227. Spicey says:

    Allie – has the member sent you a message? You may find the unblock option inside that message as well.

  228. allie says:

    when i go to their profile to unblock them there isnt that option it says flag this member in the block place

  229. Spicey says:

    I’m rather fond of my face and my tits, but I’ll consider that a compliment. Thanks TM.

    And terrible thing to hear you’re a widow. Losing one you love carves a hole in your being that is difficult to fill.

  230. lil_tm says:

    I believe if we put together Jerseys tits, Spiceys torso and my face we’d pretty much have the perfect woman. It would sort of be like Weird Science…sugar style!

    Wait, I’m almost done with p90x so I’ll keep my torso, but I would like to Jerseys buxom breasts…

  231. lil_tm says:

    “Ha ha lol Wow and he’s only 17. He seems to just call everyone a peasant yet he has over 175K followers. Just based on some of his comments I immediately thought ” he’s never picking a woman to win”. Funny thing is that every winner is a dude. lol He even has a comment about that people should stop complaining about that fact. lol”

    What’s sad is how shallow and materialistic that whole thing is. But the fact that he calls everyone peasants is actually pretty funny.

  232. DianaSBinOC says:

    Wow just googled a pot’s profile number and it brought me right back to the blog 02/2013. Looks like that same guy is making the rounds. He didn’t introduce himself just sent his private pictures and requested mine.

    The one red flag is that the pictures are of two different people. One man looks about 25-28 years old the other looks about 58-64 years old. He has on his profile that he’s 50. Seriously?

    Is he looking for a SB for him and his son?

  233. Jersey Darling says:

    Sheesh, you never know which direction this blog is going to go…

    @London, can you be my sugar momma? Please? You know I can appreciate you! 😉

  234. Spicey says:

    Capitol P – now that I’m sterile and frigid want a little P4P … peasant!

  235. DianaSBinOC says:

    Ha ha lol Wow and he’s only 17. He seems to just call everyone a peasant yet he has over 175K followers. Just based on some of his comments I immediately thought ” he’s never picking a woman to win”. Funny thing is that every winner is a dude. lol He even has a comment about that people should stop complaining about that fact. lol

  236. Principium says:

    That was the objective of that exercise!

  237. Spicey says:

    I think that man made my vagina throw up.

  238. Principium says:

    @ Nicey Pricey Spicey:

    Would you go for a very narcissistic much younger SD?

    [img]http://instagram.com/itslavishbitch[/img]

    😉

  239. Spicey says:

    Wow that sounds bitchy even to me. Sorry, totally just geeked that post when what I was trying to make was silly. I hate the iPhone interface for the Blog.

  240. Spicey says:

    God I wish we could edit posts after making them: meant to add, Fatty that if all you care about is getting the cheapest tumble you can find, why not just drive down to Sunset, I hear you can pick someone up for half that.

  241. Spicey says:

    Allie – just go find them and click unblock on their profile.

  242. Spicey says:

    Enjoy that $250 SB Fatty, I’m sure it will get you about what you paid for.

  243. Allie says:

    Is there any way to unblock members I accidentally blocked on the site?!

  244. FatBastardSD says:

    @London Girl

    Actually I would need proof that you had sex with me AND THEN PAID ME. A big difference.

    @WCSD

    I think we should encourage Spicey’s point of view on how to determine an allowance. Outside of the Sugar Baby Zone I would estimate a server in California averages about $15 hour. This is a common occupation for a younger SB. 6 hours to get ready (cause she has to comb her hair you know) and a 10 hour meet still adds up to less than $250 per meet.

    This means that a SD would be generous giving a $1000/month allowance.

    Sounds like a fair approach to me!

  245. Principium says:

    Perhaps, but only if they are Phat Bitches…

  246. lil_tm says:

    “@lil_tm I believe that was a reference to my little kitty. He’s very sensitive.”

    Well judging by your avatar, you put the pussy on a pedestal..of course it’s sensitive! 😉

  247. London Girl says:

    @Principium, what about your FatBitches? Can they be thin?

  248. Principium says:

    @ SDinLA: David Duchovny is invariably a Hank Moody. Six season into the program, I think that it is getting a bit tired though. I didn’t really dig seasons 5 & 6. Not being able to shake Karen off gets monotonous. I really loved the 2nd season when Hank & Lew Ashby (played by Callum Keith Ronnie) had a great dynamic together. Plus, this thinned down version of Runkle is not doing it for me. I like my fat bastards to actually be FatBastards 😉

  249. Spicey says:

    I prefer a few annoying traits – makes boundaries easier. I’ve always found my SDs interesting, and sweet. Just, intentionally, not my typical type.

  250. London Girl says:

    @SDinLA, Fatty is happy as long as he can show his friends proof that he is having sex! And obviously I’ll treat him with respect, I’ll even let him order room service afterwards…

  251. Spicey says:

    LaLa- but it’s just not fun to think of myself as his beard. I like to think of myself as his Barbie.

    And, happy ever after is the struggle. I am NOT interested in falling in luuuurv right now. And, I am also unwilling to get my heart broken. But I like sex, and don’t do one night stands, so what’s a girl to do?

  252. London Girl says:

    @Spicey, I think we already knew there was a big difference between us!

    I also like being easy going, happy and pretty for my guys too, but for me there has to be a real connection there, I won’t compromise and put up with annoying characteristics or character traits just because he’s spending money on me.

  253. SDinLA says:

    @London Girl Of course, but how can you apply such a double standard to Fatty? Does he not deserve the same consideration from his SM as you do from your SDs?

  254. Spicey says:

    That is a big difference between us then LG. Something about assuming my “sugar persona” is such a thrill. I love being my super light, easy going, happiest version of myself that I get to put on with sugar. I love primping for my SD and picking out naughty little outfits and sending sexy texts and pics. I wish I could be my sugar self all the time.

  255. SDinLA says:

    @Spicey As I’ve said before, I would not classify your Gay SD as a SD. You’re his “beard.” That’s not the same thing in my book.

    and re: your previous comment about not being able to handle an “end date”, that is why I stuck to coeds. They were not at a point in their lives where they wanted to settle down, and an agreed upon “ending” upon their graduation made sense for both of us- it was not a requirement I had to impose on them, it was something they wanted as much as I did. And it allowed for a less messy denouement, at a natural point in their lives as they finished school, closed that chapter in their lives and moved on to a job, grad school or whatever. I believe flyr has stated that he has done the same thing with his coed SBs for much the same reasons.

    For someone in her early 30s as you are, I can absolutely understand why allowing yourself to have feelings for someone when you know there can be no “happily ever after” going into it would be problematic.

  256. London Girl says:

    @SDinLA, the difference is that FatBastard is my SB! So he’ll do as he’s told and be grateful as I’m paying for his liposuction!

  257. London Girl says:

    Well there’s a difference between us, if I wouldn’t want to spend any time with them without money/gifts/generosity then I wouldn’t spend any time with them just because of that.

    I have a very low patience threshold and if I’m bored or just not interested then I could only fake it for a very short time and frankly life is too short to bother.

  258. SDinLA says:

    @Spicey “But I tend to receive sugar in ways that aren’t cash in an envelope.” I always wanted to see what an SB would do if I gave her allowance in packages of sugar, but I guess a couple of thousands #s of sugar would be awfully bulky.

    @London Girl “That really doesn’t work for me, I expect to be treated with respect by anyone I’m with.” You may need to rethink your exclusive arrangement with FatBastard… just sayin’.

  259. Spicey says:

    I’ve always been treated with respect by my SD’s I agree that is non-negotiable. But my last SD could be rather prissy about things in a way that would annoy the hell out if me IRL.

    My GaySD wants me to play a part. He chooses the clothes, our “cover” stories, everything. I’m basically just a hired actress for him. But that arrangement (which is technically P4P so some would say makes me a whore) is totally outside of the sugar norm, so kind of irrelevant.

  260. London Girl says:

    There is absolutely no way I would allow someone to be less than thoughtful or to treat me differently just because he had “paid” me, and a lot of the feedback on here seems to indicate that as long as the price is right then the SD is allowed to be a complete dick, that it’s worth putting up with that just because of the money involved. That really doesn’t work for me, I expect to be treated with respect by anyone I’m with.

  261. Spicey says:

    WCSD – I realize it was WISD who said that, not you!! Many apologies.

    On all other points I agree with you. I would never say those things to an SD. I don’t even like the allowance conversation. I would much rather just be spoiled. But I tend to receive sugar in ways that aren’t cash in an envelope.

  262. London Girl says:

    @WCSD, I agree with you, a relationship is a relationship regardless of any pre-agreed parameters. I’ve always liked my boyfriends to be generous, not just with money but with time, affection, thoughtfulness etc. Money is just a small part of it for me.

    I was only active on SA for a very short time as I did’t like the “transactional” feel of it, I was effectively being asked to put a price on myself and as far as I’m concerned I’m priceless!

    So for now at least it’s “real world” dating, which has always worked better for me anyway, I still expect my boyfriends to be generous but it just seems more natural this way.

  263. WCSD says:

    @Spicey – “But, is an arrangement a relationship”

    This is where you and I differ. I absolutely think that a sugar relationship is a relationship, and not a transaction where I pay X and you do exactly what I say.

  264. Allie says:

    Anyway to UNBLOCK MEMBERS?

  265. WCSD says:

    @ Spicey

    “But, this isn’t dating, it’s an agreement where both sides are allowed, entitled if you will, to express their personal wants and needs”

    – Couldn’t agree more. My point was that I wouldn’t use your approach of ‘my time is worth X’ as a means of communicating your wants and needs.

    “all our time in the hotel room is for him to do whatever he wants to/with me” regardless of my wants. (As you’ve mentioned is what you like from an SB.) ”

    – Really? I’ve said that I just want to do what I want and who cares about the SB? Wow…you really need to do some research, or write some notes before you insult someone like that.

    “Is it the amount of MY personal minimum desired generosity that you object to? If I said that I won’t enter arrangements where I receive less than $100 a week is that still entitled?”

    -Not at all. The dollar amount is completely irrelevant. It is the method of the madness that is. I truly don’t care if you want $100, $1000, or $10000 to see someone. If a SB communicated that she wanted a figure because that is her ‘hourly rate’ of the time she has to ‘waste’ to see me instead of working…yeah..that is entitled. I’m the ATM…and not worth seeing unless my ‘time’ is paid. Next!

    What works for me is when a SB approaches an allowance with a plan behind it. Whether it is helping with tuition, a project, rent, or even just a dollar amount because I want to spoil myself with things, it shows me she has thought about what she wants and why, how I can provide in her life, and to close the deal, she would also be saying how she is going to enhance my life. Is Sugar a one way street (that the SB needs to sell me)? No. BUT, supply and demand, in general a SB needs to work harder at her sales game (selling herself) than in other aspects of ‘dating’.

  266. Spicey says:

    SDlala – I couldn’t have a relationship with boundaries then I think. I think I am probably only capable of either arrangements or relationships that have the ability to go the distance.

    If I am in a relationship I develop strong feelings. I would be heart broken if a person I’d shared my true, most inner self to said, “Ah, six months is up. Time for a newer model.”

    I don’t think I have the ability to give my emotional self with boundaries. But the plastic pants? Of course, with no drama and no complaints.

  267. SDinLA says:

    @Spicey That “two way street” thing is exactly the thing that I hate the most about relationships. If I had my druthers, I’d never have to wear plastic petticoats and do my best Michael Flatley impression, but sometimes the give-and-take of a relationship requires sacrifice.

    My arrangements were absolutely relationships. If your definitions of arrangements and relationships do not overlap as much as WCSD’s do, or mine do, then of course you are not going to approach arrangements the same way some SDs do.

    @Principium Funny how actors often do their best work when they can just be themselves. I don’t think Duchovny has to do much acting when he plays hank Moody!

  268. Spicey says:

    WCSD – you’re right, that would be completely tacky, bratty, and unsexy to say that to an SD. I would never do that! It is just a way of calculating threshold.

    But, is an arrangement a relationship? In a relationship I would not feel that my partner should always get exactly what he wants, it would be a two way street. In an arrangement, my partner gets exactly what he wants – whether he wants for me to just be my normal self or for me to wear plastic petticoats and perform Irish drinking jigs or to tie him to the bed and ignore him while I play with myself.

  269. WCSD says:

    @sassy – “by that logic, your masseuse should pay you, too. And your barber. And your driver”

    Actually, that was my point. But the masseuse, driver, barber, etc. are services I’m paying for, not a relationship I’m having. Also a driver doesn’t justify their services based on how much their time is worth, but on how much of your worthy time they are going to save! I don’t have any issue with someone setting a limit/amount that they want…I have a problem with the logic that was used to calculate it (if I was told that, again if you internally calculate it that way, fine, but do you tell your ‘customer’ that??)

  270. Principium says:

    This is how SDinLA, FB & I roll:

    [img]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lxWOafocoHQ[/img]

    Feel free to appropriate and assign our blog characters to these fine actors 😉

  271. SDinLA says:

    @blog SBs I am friends with SD Guru, and I have a bet with Principium whether or not a SB can cause FatBastard to have a heart attack in flagrante delicto. I think it’s a dead cert, Prince thinks Fatty’s ticker can take it. Which ones of you are going to help me win my bet and have sex with him for free?

    @FB You owe me one, dude!

  272. DianaSBinOC says:

    @worthyinvestment.-

    I too was contacted by a man on another SD site that had on his profile “he knows the owner and he’s running a bet to see if he can meet a decent girl on this site”. It was something like that.

    He contacted me said he regular dates and being here was just a bet. So I told him good luck and wished him the best.

    Since I didn’t fall for the “prove you’re decent yet I can be a douche” game he contacted me again with ” I’m best friends with the owner of the site etc etc so are you going to help me win my bet? Now this guy was 30-40s range. I told him I was seeking a sugar daddy and since he wasn’t one there was no further desire to correspond yet I wished him luck on his fake bet.

    69 year old placing a bet on a sugar site but doesn’t have sugar? Umm yeah I would pass on that. If you like the guy and don’t care that he isn’t SD material then continue to see him.

  273. Spicey says:

    Maybe it’s only me and I’m totally crazy, so I’ll ask this question:

    Do bloggies think its wrong for an SB to have a minimum amount they don’t have interest in “allowancing” below?

    Is it wrong to sugar purely because you like sugar, and not because you NEED help?

    For this case, assuming connection, respect, attraction, and chemistry exist between both parties to a mutually satisfying level.

  274. Spicey says:

    WCSD – I’m actually asking questions below, I’m not arguing. I’m trying to understand your perspective.

    If it’s an “arrangement” doesn’t the SB get to have thoughts on an allowance that she finds rewards her for her time? Surely you don’t believe all SBs should purely accept whatever an SD gives them, regardless of the amount? If this were dating and a boyfriend chose to be generous with me I would never demand more. But, this isn’t dating, it’s an agreement where both sides are allowed, entitled if you will, to express their personal wants and needs.

    I’ve also said before that I don’t ask for an allowance. I like an SD to woo me a little so that we can both be genuinely excited about an arrangement. However, if he wants to cut to the chase I’ll name an amount. But, for me $200 a week isn’t wooing. For me, wooing needs to be in an amount I find impressively generous. A few hundred dollars is sweet, but it isn’t enough that I would want to allow “all our time in the hotel room is for him to do whatever he wants to/with me” regardless of my wants. (As you’ve mentioned is what you like from an SB.)

    I said that my use of $50 per hour figure was for ease of calculation. I was not saying all SBs make $50 an hour IRL. I even said that I know a lot of people work much harder and make less. I also said my scenario was not based on 40 hours per week, it was based on my experience from when I was a server in college (had I been a sugar) in order to give my Daddy the amount of my attention I would like to give him, I would need to make up for the time and effort in a way that appealed to me – or at least made me financially break even (as a day with him would be a day I couldn’t be waiting tables and warning money).

    Is it the amount of MY personal minimum desired generosity that you object to? If I said that I won’t enter arrangements where I receive less than $100 a week is that still entitled?

    I struggle to understand how this implies the SDs time is unappreciated. His hourly rate is not relevant to sugaring allowance, as Sassy mentioned, your hourly rate doesn’t affect the hourly rate of your Barber.

  275. SDinLA says:

    @lil_tm I believe that was a reference to my little kitty. He’s very sensitive. 😉

  276. lil_tm says:

    “Way too many injured kitties I see, including the lil_kitty.”

    Are you speaking of me here? I’m not sure I’m picking up what you’re putting down.

  277. sassynsweet says:

    @WCSD – I see your point about entitlement, but there’s one major problem with your logic: by that logic, your masseuse should pay you, too. And your barber. And your driver..

  278. advice seeker says:

    I thank all who have a reply for me. Please copy and paste it into an email and send it to my profile:name – worthyinvestment

    I am 41 years old. I have met a 69 year old POT (from another site). He wants to see me again and I am interested in him. The issue is this – He has no idea how to be a SD.
    He told me that he made his profile because he had a bet with his friends. They just sound like a bunch of lonely guys. The bet was to see who could get a date first. They had their fun, someone won, and now he uses the site out of boredom.
    He contacted me and I agreed to meet him. He had no idea that I would knock his socks off. He has taken a real interest in me and wants to go out on a second date.
    I am only interested in sugar dating. He doesn’t have a clue on how to sugar up. He gave me $12 during our first meeting. That’s right – twelve.
    The question is – Is he trainable? How do I get him to understand his responsibilities? When do I have this conversation with him – on the phone before the second date? at the second date? or third or fourth? Any tips on how to discuss my expectations?
    I feel that a lady never asks for money. I believe that SDs are true gentlemen who sincerely want to pamper and spoil and help out in any way they can. The real SDs have given me $300-$700 on our first date, even if they weren’t interested in a second one. I have never had to bring up the discussion of monthly allowance vs giving me an envelope each time we meet.
    I welcome all advice. Thanks again :)

  279. WCSD says:

    @Spicey – “On average at $50 traditional rate, three hours prep, one hour texty/sexty time, one hour of ancillary prep, and five hours with him. So that makes 10 hours, or a minimum expectation of $500 per visit, which is easily a $2,500 minimum. This is before any SB takes into account any gifting difference which makes the experience sexy for her, or any particular “difficulties” her SD presents. ”

    Are you really calculating how much a SD should give you based on how much your time is worth? Do SD’s get to do this too? Let’s take a $400K/year salary, so $200 per hour, and since your prep time takes 30% of your total time above, and let’s even say that men have no prep time, our total time is still worth 280% more than a SB (who happens to make $50 per hour, which as you state is all of them… yet $50 per hour….40 hour week, $2000 a week, over $100K a year…yep, that sounds like every SB I know….).

    Oh that’s right….how lucky we must be to spend time with you. Our time isn’t worth anything…it is all about the SB.

    Sorry, but the number one reason for me to move on from a pot is entitlement. And comparing your time and not even considering that mine is as valuable as yours is the number one sign of entitlement. So, advice to any SB who would like to actually get beyond talking/the first meet with a SD, do NOT take this advice. It may work occasionally, but so does hitting someone over their head and taking their wallet…

  280. DianaSBinOC says:

    I missed something. Fall for what stories?

    @lil_tm I didn’t read anything bad coming from you at all so not sure what drama I could have missed.

    If we’re talking about getting read for a date sure it takes time. I used to drive my ex’s crazy because I changed outfits several times for one reason or another. Then I had to change my makeup to match my outfit.

    I truly hope a SB doesn’t come into the bowl thinking she has to spend hours on her appearance if she isn’t already. It’s more of a personal thing.

    I’m still surprised that everyone is getting upset over this. One size doesn’t fit all as one SD doesn’t fit every sugar baby he meets.

  281. London Girl says:

    He seemed to do quite well without SA…

  282. Principium says:

    Too bad, that SA wasn’t around back then. Georgie was an original SD type but i shall refrain talking ill of the dead 😉

  283. London Girl says:

    Mind you, I don’t think there were many girls in Chelsea who weren’t propositioned by him…

  284. London Girl says:

    I have the distinction of having been propositioned by both Georgie himself and his son!

  285. Principium says:

    I have told you too much about my past locales! Now you know of three (one privately) I must stop ’cause otherwise some Interwebs sleuth will probably remember me!

  286. Principium says:

    On the subject of being sleazy, I used to run into Georgie Best (RIP) at Blondes (what a surprise hey?!) when he used to front for that bar & bistro. I’m sure that I was sleazy in there too but it was very sweet to have an Irish Malt with Him.

    Some men were born noblemen and some swam through the slime and sleaze to nobility. I’m a self-refine gent 😉

  287. London Girl says:

    Blushes only closed a few years back, it was an institutional for a long time!

    I think it’s still there but called something else now…

  288. Principium says:

    It was Blushes indeed. The apple pie with cream and coffee were my fave. I could not have been sleazy toward you, because you weren’t even in your teens back then. Which begs the question, what the heck were you doing at Blushes at such tender age? I was merely 20 back then, so you must have been hot on by other sleazy guys from a different realm by the time you had all grown up. By that time, I was already onto my US conquests 😉

  289. London Girl says:

    Oh Principium… Were you one of those sleazy guys that used to sit outside Blushes and letch at anything in a skirt…?

  290. Principium says:

    Is that the Royal We? When I used to hit on the English birds walking up and down Kings Rd, whilst sitting in one cafe across the Chelsea Barracks back in the days, I don’t recall anything about the M25! My business was mainly up the M1 Motorway because of the Geordie connection 😉

  291. sassynsweet says:

    Also, do any of you have a personal sugar baby blog? There are no more good sugar baby blogs about the day-to-day life, but I really really want to read one!

  292. London Girl says:

    FatBastard is now exclusive so he won’t be touching anything with his mits!

  293. lil_tm says:

    At least none of you bloggers are throwing any more fits.

    Wait, didn’t FB say he wanted to touch someones clit with his mitts? (mittens)

  294. sassynsweet says:

    Beck was annoying. As is all the squabbling. We’re not 13 year old mean girls, guys. I’m 20 and (most of you) imply that you’re even older. So I hope you’ve learned to play nice now! And yes, I’m all for more arrangement stories :)

  295. London Girl says:

    @Spicey, each to their own but I’m not kissing and making up to any clits!

  296. Spicey says:

    Why are the clits fighting? Shouldn’t they just kiss and makeup?

  297. Principium says:

    @ SDinLA: we shall cover asses too. That’s why we have FB. He’s both asses in assassin 😉

  298. London Girl says:

    “Londinium is Ahhhh so lovely in the Spring. I miss my springs whilst comfortably nestled here by the vast Blue Pacific!”

    Bah! We’re surrounded by the M25!

    It is very lovely here today though…

  299. Principium says:

    Londinium is Ahhhh so lovely in the Spring. I miss my springs whilst comfortably nestled here by the vast Blue Pacific!

  300. SDinLA says:

    A battle of the clits? I shudder to think what that might be like.

    What about the asses? I think they’re feeling left out.

  301. Principium says:

    Bring in some dits and the blog boys shall cum with their spits. You’ve got a deal blog lovers!

  302. London Girl says:

    lil_tm- “It could be a trifecta battle of wits, tits AND clits.

    Winner takes…ummm..well…

    Any ideas??”

    A Groupon voucher???

  303. lil_tm says:

    It could be a trifecta battle of wits, tits AND clits.

    Winner takes…ummm..well…

    Any ideas??

  304. London Girl says:

    Principium- “Let’s raise the stakes and call it a battle of the clits!”

    As long as it doesn’t require hand-to-hand combat…

  305. Principium says:

    Let’s raise the stakes and call it a battle of the clits!

  306. London Girl says:

    @lil_tm I think the blog boys would agree with you!

  307. lil_tm says:

    “It would be a battle of wits!”

    I prefer a battle of tits.

  308. London Girl says:

    @Principium, I’m afraid I’m insisting that FatBastard is exclusive to me, if I’m paying for his liposuction then it’s all mine! Maybe Rosie can have a go if she chips in but that’s it…

    As for visiting Londinium… Talk is cheap!

  309. Principium says:

    @ Rosie: should I decide to grease it up and do the spinning, I need to see what type of swivel I’m going to spin on. It’d be horrid if I just get boiiinged by a miniscule love lever!

    @ LG: careful now My Lady! You seem to have gotten away once in my younger and foolish days, because I was too busy to visit Amsterdam. But I haven’t been back Home lately and a visit is already way past its due date 😉

  310. Spicey says:

    Perhaps I will return to sugar. Maybe this not getting laid thing is making me more feisty than usual?

  311. London Girl says:

    @Rosie, work extra hard, you may need to help out with FatBastards liposuction if I run our of Groupons.

    My unicorn sends love and kisses to your unicorn, he wants to know when they’re next going to Disneyland together?

  312. SDinLA says:

    @Wosie

    Pontius Pilate: People of Jewusalem! Wome is your fwiend! To pwove our fwiendship, it is customawy to wewease a wongdoer fwom our pwisons. Whom would you have me wewease?

    Someone else: “Welease Woger!”

    Crowd: “Yes! Welease Woger! Welease Woger!:

    Pontius Pilate: “Vewy well. I shall welease Woger!”

    Centurion: “Uh, we don’t have a Woger, sir.”

  313. Rosie says:

    Well, lovers, it’s been fun this morning, but I must go work now. Gotta go prune my money tree so I can keep feeding my white unicorn. Have a spectacularly wonderful day filled with Groupon lovin’ and playing nice! No forehead massaging with bricks, please.

  314. Rosie says:

    @SDinEway

    Don’t you mean endeawing?

  315. London Girl says:

    It would be a battle of wits!

  316. Rosie says:

    @London Girl

    Aren’t we all sometimes? Hmmm. Would two half-wits getting together equate to a whole wit? Or a nit-wit? 😉

  317. London Girl says:

    @SDinLA, my FatBastard is no girl, I’m just not that way inclined. Underneath it all (far, far underneath) he is all man…

  318. SDinLA says:

    @London Girl I thought Rosie was calling (B)astard a girl.

    @Wosie I think Baba Wawa’s lisp is endearing.

  319. London Girl says:

    @Rosie, not only am I a quick-wit, sometimes I’m even a half-wit!

  320. Rosie says:

    London Girl

    Bwahahahahaha!!! I love quick wit.

  321. London Girl says:

    Rosie- “Does anyone else cringe when someone brings up the “B” word for fear (s)he’ll return?”

    Barbara Walters? I didn’t even realise she was here…

  322. London Girl says:

    Sort of an up to date Charlie’s Angels…

  323. Rosie says:

    Does anyone else cringe when someone brings up the “B” word for fear (s)he’ll return?

  324. Rosie says:

    SDinLA

    Just consider London Girl and I SA Action “News On Your Side”. SB Sleuths uncovering the truths of the arrangement world. Kind of like Barbara Walters. Only way younger, hotter and without the lisp.

  325. London Girl says:

    @SDinLA, I assumed they were $1,500 with the Groupon discount???

    What a bastard, I don’t eat cheap food…

  326. SDinLA says:

    @Rosie and London Girl Shhhhhh!!!!!!! Now you’ve done it! Those $1,500 dinners Beck was bragging about were really only $599 with his Groupons. Don’t ruin it for all the generous SDs out there.

  327. London Girl says:

    @SDinLA, I thought we agreed not to out me on the blog? And here you go posting a video of me applying my most subtle face for when I meet FatBastard…

    [img]g]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HJ4Fj4HAkGI[/img]

    @Principium, now you know the kind of competition you’re up against!

  328. London Girl says:

    G4P! Fabulous idea! Now your SD can be extra generous by buying you Groupon coupons for your beauty treatments, take you out at least 2x as often by using Groupon coupons for your favourite restaurants and buy you kitchen implements at a fraction of the usual price (so he can buy you more of them)…!

    That will make me feel like a veeerrrrryyyy special lady!!!

  329. Rosie says:

    @London Girl

    Omg. I just cracked up at a thought: We may have very well coined a new arrangement option: G4P!!

  330. SDinLA says:

    Another Wednesday morning, another blog catfight. Rawr!

    @Lo Make-up tutorials per your request. Here are 3 different looks, hope you find one that you like, all in under 8 minutes! 😉

    [img]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rGOOlcdpfLg[/img]

    [img]g]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HJ4Fj4HAkGI[/img]

    [img]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mi6hGRYSGiw[/img]

  331. London Girl says:

    @Rosie, we do have Groupon here! I’m stockpiling all the liposuction ones, I suspect it’s going to be a heavy financial investment even with Groupon though, so he better be putting out straight away…

  332. Rosie says:

    Lol, London Girl! It looks like you win if you can fork out the dough for FattyBooBoo’s liposuction! Do you have groupons in London? 😉

  333. London Girl says:

    @Principium, back off! FatBastard and I are almost in an arrangement so keep your hands to yourself!!!

    @Rosie, stop encouraging Principium in his attempts to get my man!

  334. Rosie says:

    @Principium

    Oh come on. FatBastard’s need lovin’ too! Guess you’ll have to be the spinner in that relationship. Grease it down and enjoy the ride! 😉

  335. Principium says:

    @ Rosie: that’s just cruelty! FB will just sit on me and pancake me and I don’t enjoy that since he’s no spinner 😉

    @ FB: “you’re no real man till you’ve tended to another by the mouth” Eddie Nero.

  336. Rosie says:

    “As for all the talk about the incessant procedural torture to get ready for an SD, this POT in here prefers that you rock a pair of jeans and a Tee over some cumbersome contraption which takes more time to get into and out of than a state-of-the-art space suit.” – -Principium

    One of my SDs used to say to me “Be sure and wear a dress tonight that looks perfectly crumpled on the floor.” Lol!

  337. Principium says:

    Wa’Dafuq!

    Scratch the cat fights then (no pun) Way too many injured kitties I see, including the lil_kitty.

    As for all the talk about the incessant procedural torture to get ready for an SD, this POT in here prefers that you rock a pair of jeans and a Tee over some cumbersome contraption which takes more time to get into and out of than a state-of-the-art space suit. It’s refreshing to have the red carpet appearance once in a while, but way over doing it is tantamount to being forced to watching the marathons of the Fashion Police on the E Channel (LG: it’s a US cable fashion show 😉 )

    The rest of the stuff, upkeep & maintenance you are hopefully doing it for your self worth and self esteem, not for fat bastard SD! Oops!

  338. FatBastardSD says:

    @London Girl

    All I would like is for you to help finance my liposuction.

    P4P? Not only would I do P4P but I would proudly tell every singe guy I met about it. We would have to video tape it though because not a single person would believe me.

    @Principium

    Abs over flab. Maybe we are not compatible after all, I should have told you that I am a pitcher and not a catcher.

  339. Rosie says:

    I want front row seats to Principium and FatBastard wrestling in a kiddie pool filled with green Jell-o or chocolate pudding.

  340. Rosie says:

    “Because I’d love to expose this jealous cattiness for what it is, anyone who’d like me to verify ANY of the things I’ve said on this blog are welcome to email me at the above. The great thing about the truth is that it takes no effort to substantiate.” -Spicey

    You do know you don’t have to verify or substantiate a single thing, don’t you? Why would you need to if you know the truth? I wouldn’t recommend anyone give out personal photos or information about themselves just to dispel someone’s disbelief. And I’m not at all defending you in the least bit. You’ve struck a nerve with me before with some of the things you’ve written, but I don’t know you personally and never plan to it so none of it matters to me. Anonymity on this blog is important for many reasons. You’re working on furthering your career (as most people are) and as you know, this lifestyle is strongly frowned upon by so many people. It’s been pretty blatant here that some compare it to prostitution. You don’t want that following you or blowing up in your face – especially if you decide to have kids one day. Keep your personal photos and information to yourself. Unless you truly plan on developing and maintaining a friendship with someone off the blog.

  341. Principium says:

    Luv, luv and luv me some more cat fight any day over cockfighting.

    FB: you do actually do seem to be my verybtype. Outspoken with an edge and a penchant for speaking your mind plainly, without resorting to turd pulishing!

    I’d say let’s just fook this whole SD/SB experiment and join our two Houses. then we will become the House of abs over flabs.

  342. Rosie says:

    “Some people are great at avoiding the BS though (Rosie, I’m looking at you!) and I admire it.” -Jersey_Darling

    Ain’t NOBODY got time for THAT! (a la Sweet Brown) Lol

    Years ago (in my late teens, early 20’s), I was exposed to a lot of drama in my personal life as well as in my work environment. I was miserable. I expressed my unhappiness to a superior and she gave me sound advice and made one statement that has never left me to this day, “it is your duty to rise above it.”

    Unfortunately, life is not rainbows and butterflies and sometimes we have to meet people in the middle and accept who they are – whether we like them or not. If I see drama and chaos, I know I can either choose to avoid it or deal with it in a way that keeps me from being sucked into the dark world of it. We all have better ways to spend our time, don’t we?

    I also feel manners, manners, manners matter!!

    – Name calling is just despicable.
    – The best arguments are those in which people use their brains.
    – Being catty is so unattractive.
    – Does any of it really matter to you in your real life? I mean, really?

    I’m not attempting to be Emily Post. I’m not holier-than-thou. I’m not a Girl Scout. But, like a teacher said to me once, “it doesn’t matter how the other person behaves in a fight; in the long run, it matters how you behave.”

    Why there’s a fear that some young girls might come to the blog and get the wrong idea or hopeful expectations is unbeknownst to me. Once a YOUNG WOMAN makes the decision she wants to try the arrangement lifestyle, I would like to believe she has thought it all through herself and is smart enough to know what she’s doing in the first place and will use the blog as a resource to ask questions and learn along the way. If I took every single advice ever given to me or created a set of expectations based on the experiences (exaggerated or not), shared by others, I’d still be looking for that elusive white unicorn and money tree in my backyard.

    Agree to disagree. Move on. If someone on the blog makes you angry, miserable, enraged, blah, blah, blah…rise above it.

  343. Spicey says:

    Please do Jersey, except for this morning I didn’t believe I had directly insulted you (you maybe believe you don’t insult me).

    So it would be delightful for all if we could clear up the disjoint. Though the men may miss the flying furr.

  344. Spicey says:

    Oh I would love to see a good hot oil brawl between FB and Capitol P.

    TM: it was your “bullshit” comment in immediate response following my post regarding that issue that sounded like you were challenging the truth of what I had said.

  345. London Girl says:

    @FatBastard, if I was going to be your SM, what kind of allowance would you be looking for?

    And do you do pay for play?

  346. lil_tm says:

    @lil_tm
    “Yes I have fallen for a SD. I never thought it would happen, and then one day I saw this gravatar picture with abs. That’s when I knew that he was THE ONE”

    *swoon* Back off..he’s mine! See what you did Spicey?? You have pulled the men into this fighting and cattiness! 😉
    (yes, I’m kidding)

  347. Jersey Darling says:

    I’ll be emailing to settle the drama off blog. I get tired of being insulted on here and I’m sure others are tired of reading it.

  348. lil_tm says:

    @ Spicey
    I never once said the comment about your ex in particular is what sounded like b.s. but it just seemed to be what everyone has attached themselves to. Possibly because you assumed that’s what I meant. My instincts are pretty sharp. If I get a feeling that someone is exaggerating the truth, I’m usually right. I’m not making light of someone dying. I’m a widow myself, so I understand that stuff as good as anyone.

    As for Jersey, she has nothing to do with my opinion on things. I’m a big girl and I can think for myself.

    But like I said before..I don’t care to argue and debate about dramatic issues. If that’s what this place is mostly about, I’d rather not be here.

  349. Spicey says:

    Jersey, as you know my nom de plume you can also go to my personal blog directly or through my Amazon Author page. I was so upset by that accusation that I wrote about him. You can image search the photo of the Marine who died as a result of PTSD from his service to our country. Other items you would like verified, feel free to email.

    That particular comment is the only charge I really actually care about though.

  350. London Girl says:

    I’ve fallen for FatBastard, purely based on his sense of humour!

  351. Jersey Darling says:

    PS – Spicey, yes I will email you later so we can move the drama off the blog. I’d prefer to talk to you when you’re not grandstanding.

  352. FatBastardSD says:

    @lil_tm

    Yes I have fallen for a SD. I never thought it would happen, and then one day I saw this gravatar picture with abs. That’s when I knew that he was THE ONE.

  353. Spicey says:

    Snowing in Utah, and it sucks!

  354. London Girl says:

    @Spicey, we all adjust factual minutiae to a certain extent to preserve anonymity and I fully appreciate that. I have no issue with you personally whatsoever. You most certainly aren’t the only person on here who posts, let’s say “misleadingly”, you are the most vocal and therefore also the only who attracts the most attention to it.

    My only reason for calling you and another out was, as I mentioned before, that I find it concerning when young, impressionable and inexperienced girls read the blog and take everything written as verbatim truth, those of us who are older and more experienced can read between the lines and work it out for ourselves. But unfortunately those same girls then think that what is posted is accurate, factual and achievable when for the overwhelming majority it absolutely isn’t.

    If you ex-boyfriend died then I am truly sorry, no-one should have to go through that and I do understand that it can be an emotive subject to say the least. My point regarding someone else’s post on the matter was more that if you grossly exaggerate on many other subject then why would they assume you were not doing the same about this one?

    Anyways I think we’ve all said all there is on the subject, lets forgive, forget and move on….?

    Gorgeous day here in London by the way!

  355. Jersey Darling says:

    Short response as I’m at work…

    Spicey, I haven’t emailed you because this is my first time back on the blog since I posted 3 hours ago. Cripes, relax.

    We’re talking about the delusions you share, not the stuff that’s googleable. 5 people now have called you out on it.

    PS, love how you like to insult me on my weight when you’ve never even seen a full picture of me. Always demonstrating your critical reasoning skills I see…

    God forbid someone knocks you off your self proclaimed queen bee pedestal. I’m not sayin your story about him passing isn’t true – I’m just pointing out how, as always, you deflect when your original point fails and try to use pity. You’re calling lil a troll, surely you must be joking or are your logic skills really that weak?

    You dish it but can’t take it if anyone doesn’t worship you – then WE’RE the insensitive ones. When have I ever criticized you on your looks Spicey? Not once. How many times have you criticized me on things you’ve never even seen? It’s petty and displays your insecurity.

  356. Spicey says:

    London – I apologized for my mistaken assumption about the blog. Someone from a UK IP posted comments calling me terms that seemed SAish on my blog, moments after your original aspersions (which may have been based on misunderstanding). When I discovered who it was I apologized publicly to you.

    I appreciate that you weren’t being cruel about “Him” the way you chimed in about my alleged “bullshit” when that item was the only issue at topic seemed as if you were piling on.

    Regarding my alleged “grandiose” claims of writing, I think I may have come across differently than intended. Which is why I’ve attempted to be clear since then in MANY ways I do not fancy myself the next (or current) Dickens. And was rather open about the heinous reviews I received.

    I adjust factual minutiae to preserve anonymity (as in I may say that I’m in Cabo when I’m really in Punta Cana) but I imagine we all do that. I really have never been untruthful or excessive in exaggeration except in sarcastic banter or comments I believed were clearly hyperbole.

  357. London Girl says:

    @Spicey, I’m not going to get into a slanging match on here with you, you’re well aware of which fantasies I’m referring to as I made them quite clear when I called you on them.

    And for the record, I have never mentioned your ex-boyfriend at all. I have mentioned to you before that if you’re going to hurl unfounded accusations at people (like when I was supposedly trolling you on your personal website) then you should be able to back it up.

  358. Spicey says:

    TM – it’s cruel to ask someone a very intimate question and then call them a liar when they answer you. Its also cruel to call someone a liar publicly, and flippantly, on a point so painful and easily proven true, and then not allow them to defend their honor and their personal experience.

    I just cannot imagine doing that to someone! When Jersey calls you a whore next week you’ll understand where the rest of us are coming from in our frustration.

  359. Spicey says:

    Please do tell me what I have said that is untrue, London?

    Is my novel self-published? Yep. So was Beatrix Potter and Ernest Hemingway, and a number of current writers are switching to Indie – you get twice the royalties, complete creative control, and as long as one is willing to pay out of pocket for professional editing, and bootstrap the marketing it can be a more lucrative way to go.

    Lying about gifts from my SD? Which would you like me to share pics of?

    Lying about being a woman from Utah?

    Lying that I lost someone close to me? One little email will make you feel like shintt for that hideous accusation.

    Please do, share my great “fantasies”

    I’ve never heard you mention a single successful arrangement, so perhaps you’re jealous of that? I couldn’t honestly say.

  360. lil_tm says:

    Spicey-I didn’t e-mail you because I’m not ready to get more personally involved with anyone here just yet..too fresh and new and I’d rather take it all in for a bit. No offense!

    For the record, I’m not vindictive at all.
    I would much rather get along than have issue with anyone.
    So, lets change the subject and discuss our experiences and what not. That is what this blog is for, after all. :)

    And besides, I’m in front of a computer all day and could use some stimulating conversation to break up the monotony.

    So has anyone ever fallen for a SD? If so, how did it play out?

  361. London Girl says:

    @Spicey, what exactly is it that we’re jealous of?

    The supposed trolling is only calling you out on the crap you spout as fact, if you don’t want to be called out then don’t talk bullshit.

    I can only speak for myself but the reason I can’t be arsed to email you is that I already know that most of what you say is fantasy, it was me that called you out in the first place remember?

    If on this occasion you aren’t talking shite then probably the reason we didn’t believe you is that mostly you are talking shite, every hear of the boy who cried wolf?

  362. Spicey says:

    Thanks Lo! I’m bummed too. The blog used to be so much fun until JerLoTm started trolling with nastiness.

    Dorky is right, Midwest used to nip that sort of jealous cattiness right in the bud. The fact that none of those ladies has emailed proves that they were just being spiteful, and have no doubts about the truth of what I’ve said.

    I don’t want to be anywhere near the kind of Cosmic Karma the sort of intentional, malicious cruelty they’ve pulled out in the past 24 hours brings. It did not even occur to me when sharing that a human(s) I’ve spoken with nearly every day for four months would be so viperous … and people call me angry?

    I would never treat another human that way, under any circumstance.

  363. London Girl says:

    @Lo, if you should want my help/advice, I happen to know Spain extremely well.

    If you don’t want my advice that’s fine, the offer is there.

  364. Lo says:

    Spicey I’m genuinely bummed to see you leave. During my days as a humble lurker there were way more SB’s and even SD’s here who were currently in arrangements, and they made the blog more interesting and positive by sharing their experiences without having to endure all the judgment and criticism that’s on this blog today. Why can’t people here just be happy? Stop calling people out on every little thing they say and just live your life. What good is a blog if people constantly have to be in defense mode? Madrista hopefully I can catch you on here one day I had a question about Spain.
    Peace

  365. London Girl says:

    @Lo, unlike many on here I don’t actually have time to spend my entire life on this blog, I’m only on here if I happen to be sitting in front of my laptop anyway. Otherwise I would of course love to make a tutorial for you.

    I’m fairly sure in fact that we could cut your prep time right down to a maximum of half an hour, assuming that your regular maintenance and grooming included such things as mani-pedi’s, waxing, etc.

  366. Lo says:

    Yes poor SD’s. Little do they know that I look like an absolute dog without makeup, I don’t even have the type of face a mother could love. And you’re right London, three hours of getting ready is unconscionable!! Thank god you’re here to correct my ways. If you find any time between all the sarcastic bitter jabs you make at people on the blog, please consider creating a youtube tutorial so I can skillfully learn how to cut my prep time in half.

  367. Spicey says:

    Because I’d love to expose this jealous cattiness for what it is, anyone who’d like me to verify ANY of the things I’ve said on this blog are welcome to email me at the above. The great thing about the truth is that it takes no effort to substantiate.

  368. London Girl says:

    @lil_tm, no it isn’t any of our responsibilities, however the exception I make to that is when said purveyors of flights of fancy try to portray their fantasies as fact and encourage younger, inexperienced and more naive girls down a slippery path.

    If a blogger is lying about basic information then why should I believe any advice they give based on their fantasy experience?

  369. Spicey says:

    Sassy – you get to apply that in your increased sugar expectations. Good luck in the sugar bowl, and with the writing.

  370. lil_tm says:

    @London Girl
    Warm welcome much appreciated! *xo* 😉

    Part of the beauty of a blog/message board is that you CAN be a little more free to say what you feel/think because you have the privilege of hiding behind a computer screen, but this kind of blog is a little more sensitive of a thing, I think.
    I’d hate to see girls misled to believe things are the norm when they are not. I guess that’s not really my responsibility, though.

  371. sassynsweet says:

    @Spicey – “Apply that amount by the number of hours you INVEST in sugar”

    Do I get to include the time I spend doing things that make me worth it as a SB (following the stock market, reading neurochemistry and finance journals, following current events across the globe, learning new languages, studying, getting a degree, yoga for flexibility, etc.?

  372. London Girl says:

    @lil_tm, there is a lot of bullshit on this blog, your radar will be twitching uncontrollably!

    Quite why some people feel the need to project their own fantasies as to to where they live/what they do for a living/how adoring their admirers are and how talented/beautiful/successful/intelligent they are onto others is beyond me but there is a lot of it about!

    I think a lot of people hide behind the anonymity to live vicariously…

    Anyway, welcome! It’s nice to have someone else around who calls it as they see it.

  373. lil_tm says:

    “especially knowing all the girls who are new to sugar and will fall for the stories they read on here.”

    That was my concern as well…but hopefully staying out of it will prevail. 😀

  374. Jersey Darling says:

    @lil_tm – What happens is as you participate more and get to know the personalities, if you’re the type to point out a bullshitter you will only hold your tongue for so long. Eventually it will come out :)

    Some people are great at avoiding the BS though (Rosie, I’m looking at you!) and I admire it. Me, I can’t, especially knowing all the girls who are new to sugar and will fall for the stories they read on here.

  375. lil_tm says:

    “@lil_tm – Don’t worry about Spicey’s pity party about people jumping on her when she’s nice (that story was nice? I’m sorry, you actually volunteered something and people jumped over you? Welcome to my life on the blog!) for one millisecond and having people jump on her as a result, when she has done this to others on the blog (no matter how nice they are) since I began reading.”

    Well I’m not very familiar with any of you just yet, and I don’t know why the hostility between you two but if I have a problem with someone or their opinions, I usually choose to just ignore them.

    What can I say..I had a couple glass of wine and I was feeling feisty. And I can smell bullshit from a mile away.

  376. lil_tm says:

    “Yeah, who waxes anymore? Laser is getting cheaper than waxing and is so much better.”

    Isn’t laser hair removal permanent? I’d like to keep my options open in case that good old 70’s bush ever comes back in style. 😉

  377. Jersey Darling says:

    @lil_tm – Don’t worry about Spicey’s pity party about people jumping on her when she’s nice (that story was nice? I’m sorry, you actually volunteered something and people jumped over you? Welcome to my life on the blog!) for one millisecond and having people jump on her as a result, when she has done this to others on the blog (no matter how nice they are) since I began reading.

    It’s a natural inclination to want to point out bullshit. If you don’t want to be pointed out, don’t bullshit.

    Re: prep time, no wonder you girls want to be paid if you’re putting in so much time, but I think you need to consider it a cost of business. If that’s how long it takes for you to look good for your date and look like an SB, then it is what it is.

    It would be like if I complained about having to put in a few hours of prep to close a big sale and then complained because the sale didn’t come through… it’s just part of the process.

    And on prep time, I have long curly hair that is down to my waist. I spend about half an hour in the shower, and then it does take time straightening it. But that’s something I do anyway – I just happen to do it right before a date as well. The hair is really the only thing that takes time. 15 minutes for makeup, throw on an outfit and I’m out the door.

  378. lil_tm says:

    woahhhhh. Sorry ladies, I didn’t mean to upset anyone.

    I don’t want to backpedal, but I shouldn’t have said anything if I didn’t have anything nice to say. With all the haters in the world we really should be as supportive of each other as possible.
    That said, it shouldn’t be to the point of naivety. I’ve read a lot of contradictions on this thread is all, but I’m not looking for drama and arguments, so I should have just kept my yappy shut. 😉

  379. London Girl says:

    Got to admit I find 3 hours to get ready for a date pretty excessive…

    A lot of that stuff is basic grooming and maintenance anyway, most girls will have already waxed/shaved/lasered anyway. Surely it’s normal to use body lotion etc?

    So isn’t the only additional preparation for a date hair/make up and choosing an outfit?

    As virtually every girl on here is apparently a stunning natural beauty I’m assuming that make-up can’t take that long…

    If it genuinely takes 3 hours to transform a girl into a SB then I can’t imagine what the poor SD must think if he ever catches a glimpse of her sans make-up and au naturel…

  380. Principium says:

    @ Spicey: what letter shows to the 7 o’clock of letter T? I’d be interested in “tucking” you in 😉

  381. DianaSBinOC says:

    @FatBastard-

    —Why all of this name calling? What is it about me that makes you insult me all of the time? I am just trying to learn the ropes of SA, and your constant abuse is not making things easier.

    Huh? I thought you came up with the name “Fat Bastard” or wait did I ? Nope that was all you :)

    —-Why can’t the posters on this site be a bit more tolerant to other peoples views or ideas?

    We tolerate your views just fine.

    —I thought the blog and SA site was all about hope rather than expectations…

    Remember I have issues with reading comprehension sorry. huh? hehe

  382. Rosie says:

    @Principium

    A matter of semantics? Possibly. But when you play games, there is always a winner and a loser in the end, right? In dancing, sometimes you lead and sometimes you follow. No one really cares if you know how. Two left feet. Rotund. Tall. Short. Server. Stripper. Bastard. Student. Escort. Writer. Tech Geek. Nerd. Marketer. Playboy Bunny. Foot Locker Manager. Whatever. You just move to the beat. Everyone wins. Gangnam style! 😉

  383. Spicey says:

    Can I get some fries with FB’s shake, shake booty?

    Now really, I am going to sleep. Anyone want to tuck me in?

  384. Principium says:

    @ Rosie:” I prefer to say it’s a delicate dance you learn as you go.
    Tomato? ToMAHto?”

    Semantics perhaps, but since I seem to have two left feet, thus I must change the rules so to compensate for my own affliction in such a delicate dance 😉

    BTW, I hope that life is NOT a delicate dance for FBSD’s sake, because that would be as unfair to him as lacing up a buffalo for Patinage!

  385. FatBastardSD says:

    @Spicey

    All of your calculations make sense now. It’s like that time I found a $1 bill back in the day. Took me one minute to pick it up (I am a FatBastard after all). Went to the boss man and said I need a raise, ’cause I can make $60/hour picking up dollar bills. The dumb ass told me I was fired. Went to the strip club where I knew that $1 single was going to get me some good action!

  386. Rosie says:

    “Isn’t life itself a game?” -Principium

    I prefer to say it’s a delicate dance you learn as you go.

    Tomato? ToMAHto? 😉

  387. Rosie says:

    @FB

    I’m not ashamed to admit I own all 156 episodes! Love TZ and I’m not a SciFi fan at all. That Martin Landau is one odd looking guy.

  388. Principium says:

    @ Rosie: “How dreadful…to be caught up in a game and have no idea of the rules.”

    The rules are actually very simple, but the game itself is rather complex. Nature simply dictates that only the strong shall survive, but it is our interpretation and adaptation of what we deem as the required strength that may turn the outcome to our favor.

    Isn’t life itself a game?

  389. FatBastardSD says:

    @Rosie

    An interesting guy. Science fiction really discussed a lot of issues that you could not normally do in those days because it was considered on the fringe.

    I think what passes for science fiction these days has lost that characteristic. Then again I am a nerd still to this day.

  390. Spicey says:

    *Three times in a three hour shift

  391. Spicey says:

    FB –

    I worked at Snowbird Ski Resort. I usually had a zone of six tables, those could be turned four or five times in a shift. The average bill was $100, the average tip $15-$20. That math easily turns out to $50 per hour.

    At Applebees (your favorite place to eat good in the neighborhood) you have 10 tables, those are going to turn about 3 times in a five hour shift. You have an average bill of $40. The math still works.

    10*3= 30*40= $1,200 * .20 = 240/3 = $60 PH (minus the stiffage from cheap jerks)

  392. Rosie says:

    @FatBastardSD

    “There is nothing in the dark that isn’t there when the lights are on.”

    (My dad collected Twilight Zone movies and I now have them all!)

  393. FatBastardSD says:

    Servers who clear $50/hour. Women who take three hours to get ready. Everything DianaSBinOC says.

    Cue the Twilight zone music (sorry if I give away my age with this comment):

    You’re traveling through another dimension, a dimension not only of high allowances and fancy dinners and gifts but of beautiful brilliant young women. A journey into a wondrous land whose boundaries are that of imagination. That’s the signpost up ahead – your next stop, the Sugar Baby Zone!

    Man this blog is entertaining!

  394. SDinLA says:

    I’m a masochist, so I pluck out all of my pubic hair before a date.

    And all of my body hair before a bicycle race. Come on baby make it hurt so good!

    @Midwest We’re not worthy, we’re not worthy…

    @LASB Really happy that things are going well with you! I still recall the halcyon days of BGBF. 😉

  395. FatBastardSD says:

    @DianaSBinOC

    Why all of this name calling? What is it about me that makes you insult me all of the time? I am just trying to learn the ropes of SA, and your constant abuse is not making things easier.

    Why can’t the posters on this site be a bit more tolerant to other peoples views or ideas?

    I thought the blog and SA site was all about hope rather than expectations…

  396. DianaSBinOC says:

    -SDs look at this experience in a very calculating and mathematical way. Why aren’t we allowed to? This math doesn’t mean that I don’t connect with my SD. It means that I set minimum parameters

    Actually you are correct again. I noticed that men were calculating but at really bad numbers.

  397. Rosie says:

    @LASB

    Lol, I wasn’t serious about the 1.5 hours with falsies. Even though I feel like that’s how long it takes. When I do wear them, I use a product by Ulta that dissolves the lash glue right off. But if sexy time happens before that step (add in alcohol consumption), said lashes have ended up on my back somehow. ????

  398. Rosie says:

    Whew! Just caught up on blog. Very up and down tonight.

    Re: Advice from men vs. women

    “One of the best principles of the Game which I have earned and always apply came from a woman! -Principium

    Therein lies the problem. Keyword: Game.

    The rules are different for every “game” and every player, aren’t they?

    How dreadful…to be caught up in a game and have no idea of the rules.

  399. Spicey says:

    LASB – 30 mins. waxing (including all the spa inefficiency) still makes sense for the brows, even though I laser the rest. No way I’m going permanent on something that’s so fashion transient!

  400. LASB says:

    Rosie – Yeah, who waxes anymore? Laser is getting cheaper than waxing and is so much better. For falsies, how do you take them off without ripping out all your eyelashes? I’m guessing you meant those and not the other kind. Latisse will shave off that 1.5 hours. Hmm… maybe I don’t spend a bunch of time right before a date to get ready because looking presentable is really just a constant, ongoing process.

  401. LASB says:

    If I like the guy and the date is entertaining I don’t mind going on a bunch of dates before an arrangement starts. I like to take my time, so I feel like it’s to my advantage. Of course, it helps that they’re giving really awesome gifts along the way. It’s when a pot totally misrepresents himself and turns out to be a miserable person that I feel taken advantage of and like my time is being wasted. Luckily, that rarely happens. And on the bright, it’s helped me sharpen my first date exit strategy.

    In terms of getting ready, it’s something I do regardless and not to impress a man. Also, it rarely takes me more than an hour. SD is fairly casual, so I took it down a notch and then had him step it up a notch so we could “meet in the middle.” He tells me not to wear make up, but that’s easier said than done.

  402. Spicey says:

    Thanks for the switch up P, I was listening for a very specific phrase and now I have an Italian brainworm!

    My favorite is actually Austrian: youtu.be/ZRfJZlOpO44

  403. Impetuous Fervor says:

    Goodness. Ladies, you are so well versed and sexy. I admire you so much. Ill go so far as to admit for a straight woman you make me curious about
    a night with you. Whew. Totally turned on by your confidence, intelligence, and demeanor. (The Internet version atleast)

    Capitol P:
    I’ve been following this blog a few days, yet long enough to be driven crazy by your general mindblowing veracity. Ill be in San Diego in a few weeks with the intention of moving there (my friends all have and I miss them dearly). I would love the opportunity to choke on-I mean pick your brain and lick the lines in those gorgeous abs of yours. God I’m so embarrassed to admit that…but that’s how I’m supposed to get used to speaking, yes? I’m desperate for a damn CHANGE.

    Ladies, i graciously ask for your help. I would love for you all to welcome me to this chat.

    23 year old good looking girl with a rockin brain and body from ct missing out on life and spending way too much time with her vibrator. I need help being patient and resisting my nativity. I’m new to all this.

    I am dying for a man that is capable of conversation that can make my skin crawl. Almost wish I haven’t felt that sensation before, everything else pales in comparison. I am sexually ruined.

  404. Spicey says:

    If I really liked him, I’d see him for lunches a few times, but only when it was convenient for me, and he’d better woo me pretty strong if he isn’t being generous He’s going to have to treat it 100% like traditional dating.

    If he wants to relax and act completely like himself (bad behavior and all) and get the full “whatever you want Baby” response from me, then that should come with generosity. And, if he’s dragging his feet on an arrangement it’s highly likely I’d move on to someone else while he was still kicking the tires.

  405. Rosie says:

    1 hour, 2 hours, 3 hours…whatever hours. In the words of a very famous SD (or pedophile, depending on how you look at it) Woody Allen, isn’t just showing up 80% of it anyway? 😉

    Wow, I think I channeled my inner FatBastardBooBoo to pull out that comment!

    Anyway, the amount of hours it takes to get ready varies from woman to woman. What may be effortless to some, may be WORK for others. I personally can hack off an hour and a half of Spicey’s routine because I don’t have to wax before every date (laser hair removal is a DREAM!) and my specialty costume to prepare is my very own birfday suit. Easy, breezy. But add that hour and a half back on if I decide to wear falsies for a special event. Those are a b*tch to apply!

    I both agree and disagree with FB. No, we don’t just have to “stand around” and it isn’t effortless being a woman – at all. But in comparison, I DO think we have it easier than men in terms of the dating world – in the arrangement and traditional realm.

  406. Principium says:

    Spicey:

    Try this version of Besame Mucho by the great Andrea Boccelli as a change of pace:

    [img]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XeoM_Q80mAc[/img]

    Also, next time some Brunello Di Montelcino?

  407. Lo says:

    that is why I wouldn’t have patience for a pot who’d want to go on many dates before deciding whether to go through with an arrangement. You’re losing out on time and money for something that at the end may not even be guaranteed.

  408. DianaSBinOC says:

    hahah lo!! @ lol Diana my whole life has been a lie !

    Actually I’m doing the bush now:) I used to laser everything off but I always hated how ichy the hair was when it grew back. Once I went single I decide to let it grow. I still have no idea how I’m going to get around that “area” for the summer pool party season. Sarong perhaps? lol

  409. Spicey says:

    For me, the sugar math is simple:

    Take your hourly rate/wage/tips – We’ll say $50 because it makes the math simpler, when I worked as a server in college I could easily clear $50 an hour – so I hope that doesn’t make me sound snobby, etc. I know a lot of people work harder for less.

    Apply that amount by the number of hours you INVEST in sugar: scheduling the meeting at his conveniences, primping before hand, time with your SD, and other ancillary activities that support his interests (i.e. waxing, extra gym time, visiting the doc for Birth Control, driving to weird inconveniently located hotels).

    On average at $50 traditional rate, three hours prep, one hour texty/sexty time, one hour of ancillary prep, and five hours with him. So that makes 10 hours, or a minimum expectation of $500 per visit, which is easily a $2,500 minimum. This is before any SB takes into account any gifting difference which makes the experience sexy for her, or any particular “difficulties” her SD presents.

    SDs look at this experience in a very calculating and mathematical way. Why aren’t we allowed to? This math doesn’t mean that I don’t connect with my SD. It means that I set minimum parameters – just like some SDs wouldn’t want to date a size 12.

  410. DianaSBinOC says:

    @ FatBastard

    “You either want to argue just to argue, or you have very poor reading comprehension.”

    Not arguing. Aww you actually attempted to insult me , how cute:) hehe

    ~ You know as musc about stripping in the 80′s and 90′s as you do about escorts.

    Well since most of your interaction with women is dealing with strippers, escorts then I guess I can crown you most bitter john.

    I think I finally understand why you sound so angry and bitter when it comes to women. Sorry you had it so rough you know with the “trails” and all. At least now you can safely say you’ve helped some women pay their bills or give money to their loser boyfriends. So be glad with that:)

    “On the issue of the shock factor IRL dating: men have to bust a move or else they lose. It is really as simple as that because biologically the human female’s egg is much more precious that the male sperms. It was Nature’s way to keep the balance of power. Get over it!”

    Exactly:)

  411. Lo says:

    lol FB too late I’m lasered. I’ve always wanted to look and feel like a baby seal, fortunately technology has made this possible.

  412. Lo says:

    lol Diana my whole life has been a lie !

  413. FatBastardSD says:

    @Lo

    Why not wax, then you save that 1 1/2 hours. Mind you a finely manicured bush is a nice change of pace to the bald look thats so popular these days.

  414. DianaSBinOC says:

    I put in three hours of work to look the way I want to for a sugar date. This includes grooming, nails, hair, makeup, jewelry, perfume, body lotion, outfit blah blah blah. Yeah I can roll out of bed with “sex hair” and no makeup but I’m pretty sure the SD’s wouldn’t appreciate it. In my experience they notice details. They notice if I do something differently with my hair, my nail polish, if I’m wearing the same purse twice lol. I think this is similar to CaliSB’s experience. I do think being a girl takes way more effort than a guy in terms of primping for a date…tbh I thought this was a universal truth…

    I thought it was the universal truth too.

  415. LASB says:

    Hi SDinLA! What’s new with you? Yes, it’s been a while. Not in DTLA anymore, but still enjoying urban life, east of the 405. Life is great, sugar is great, and unlike my previous catastrophe, it’s very relaxed and easy this time. None of the crazy ups and downs. He’s helped me a ton with my business and is very encouraging. The mentor SDs really do exist, but maybe you have to get lucky.

    Midwest! Must be my lucky day that I get to see you here. Congrats on all that you’ve worked for! Hugs!

  416. Lo says:

    yes Spicey why so hard to believe?? I am middle eastern it takes me an hour and a half just to do my annoyingly thick hair

  417. Lo says:

    lolz..well my grandfather clock chimes by the hour so that would be three chimes after I’ve finished applying my tenth layer of makeup

  418. Spicey says:

    My routine:

    Wax: 30 minutes
    Mani/Pedi: 60 minutes
    Hair, Makeup, Lotion, Perfume, Dressing: 30 minutes

    Optionally, I may:
    Tan (30 minutes), Sugar Scrub (30 minutes), and create a specialty costume – if that is in the plans for the evening.

    Three hours is rather a simple amount of time to consume.

  419. Spicey says:

    Capitol P: A Venezie Pinot Grigio: writing about Venice tonight, and have officially listened to Ol Solo Mio more times than any human should ever be forced to endure, trying to capture an exact moment for a reference I want.

  420. Principium says:

    @ Lo: clarify this for me… Are we talking 3 hours by atomic clock type or are we talking girl time? Two different time zones altogether!

  421. Principium says:

    Oooh nectar? What kind? Inquiring minds wanna know…

    FB: I keep hinting that porta potties are the in thing these days, but no one has picked up on my hints. So you went SB hunting and ended up with a PP?!

  422. Lo says:

    mmk well lil tm can think whatever she wants. Glad we’ve gotten so petty that now we’re calling people liars over how long it takes them to get ready…

  423. FatBastardSD says:

    @Principium

    You got that right. Went to the sperm bank and they gave me a cup. I’m like fuck this shit you’re gonna need a pitcher!

    Then I found out I was not supposed to pee in the cup, which lead to my discovery that I am not supposed to pee in the girl. I never should have missed sex ed class.

  424. Spicey says:

    Capitol P – You’re Vino want to meet my Veritas? I’m enjoying a little of the nectar myself.

  425. Principium says:

    I maybe under the influence of some wine (In Vino Veritas) but me thinky that lil one was commenting on the 3 hours.

    Obviously we can not leave ElGordoDiBastardo on his own for far too long. His sperms teach salmon how to swim upstream!

  426. Spicey says:

    Lo – Thanks!

  427. Spicey says:

    FB – I’ll give it the benefit of the doubt that it was not. It would be an horrific thing to say to someone after you ASKED them such a personal question.

  428. FatBastardSD says:

    @Spicey

    You really believe the bullshit comment was about your story? I mean I will even compliment DianaSBinOC if lil_tm says that she was not commenting on the 3 hour date routine!

    Just kidding DianaSBinOC. I think you are great. Wrong about everything but great!

  429. Spicey says:

    FB –

    High dollar SD’s may take you to meet friends who have wives who can pay to maintain every inch of themselves. If you don’t look the part they’ll eat you alive, and it will make your SD’s life hell. I always start from the place of wanting to look the part every second, in even that arrangement. That part takes a lot of freaking time!

    Although, I can also pull my hair back and lay waste to a bag of Cheetoh’s watching bad FoodTV.

  430. Spicey says:

    FB – It was a nasty poke from someone else, and just your typical sarcasticies I suppose. I just wouldn’t want it to seem that I would call, or imply, I thought he was a loser. I already have enough guilt about any implication I may have made about that in another life.

  431. FatBastardSD says:

    @Lo

    I have heard of what you say from other SB’s. It did seem odd to me. I think it seemed odd to lil_tm. I think it seems odd to Jersey_Darling as well.

    I like when a woman looks sexy and dresses nicely but I leave it up to her to figure that stuff out. I don’t think I would give a higher allowance because of the things you describe but you may be correct that the high allowance SD’s expect this level of control. If they want to control which nail polish you wear then I would think that they must want to control every detail of your meeting, unless they have a nail polish or purse fetish.

  432. FatBastardSD says:

    @Spicey

    My point was that YOU did not consider the guy a loser even though he did not fulfill his potential. You though he was great even though other women/men may have thought he was average.

    As in your case SportsfanSD’s SB will not consider her new BF who has less money a loser even though SportsfanSD probably does.

    How this was viewed as a analysis of the value of some guy you loved at one point is a mystery to me.

  433. Lo says:

    I’m just commenting from experience..I myself have been surprised when an SD comments on a purse or on something trivial like nail polish but it’s happened anyway. I don’t work out but I shower before one. I’m just trying to avoid looking like the girls on SA you say don’t deserve the allowances they ask for ;p

  434. FatBastardSD says:

    @Lo

    I am quite sure she was commenting on the fact that you have to spend three hours to prepare for a date because your SD’s notice you have the same purse or the same nail polish.

    I mean 3 hours? You don’t work out and wax before a date do you?

  435. Lo says:

    Spicey I like you and have your back, but yeah…bad vibes… :p

  436. Spicey says:

    Whatever – this place is bad.

    Night!

  437. Lo says:

    fatbastard can’t tell if you’re being sarcastic or not but her calling bullshit would make no sense after she posted this herself:
    working out, manicures & pedicures, groomed hair, waxing etc etc..being an attractive woman requires tons of effort. Especially if you do it all yourself.

  438. Spicey says:

    I certainly hope so.

    Y’all caught me on a soft sentimental night, occasionally I have them.

  439. FatBastardSD says:

    @Spicey

    I am pretty sure I read and understood your post correctly. Also I am pretty sure lil_tm was commenting on the 3 hour preparation for a date and not your story.

  440. Spicey says:

    Lo – remember that time when women were really sweet and supportive to each other? Yeah, neither do I, but it would be amazing!

  441. Lo says:

    TM: I’ve had three, amazing! long term loves in my life. I just haven’t really talked about personal items as this site is so full of Baracuda’s waiting to strike it can be difficult to be soft or vulnerable.

    yep pretty sad that it has to be that way

  442. Lo says:

    wait did I miss something? ::scrolls up::

  443. Spicey says:

    TM: would you really just say that to me? Obviously everyone has a past that leads them to sugar. Not one person has heard or really sought to understand mine.

    You asked a personal question, I was honest and truthful in my answer. I’ve never shared that personally or been that honest on the blog, thank you for your warm, sincere, support. I guess back to Icey Spicey.

  444. lil_tm says:

    hmmmm…*cough* bullshit *cough*

  445. Spicey says:

    FB – which intelligent, successful, wealthy man did I call a loser?

  446. Lo says:

    I put in three hours of work to look the way I want to for a sugar date. This includes grooming, nails, hair, makeup, jewelry, perfume, body lotion, outfit blah blah blah. Yeah I can roll out of bed with “sex hair” and no makeup but I’m pretty sure the SD’s wouldn’t appreciate it. In my experience they notice details. They notice if I do something differently with my hair, my nail polish, if I’m wearing the same purse twice lol. I think this is similar to CaliSB’s experience. I do think being a girl takes way more effort than a guy in terms of primping for a date…tbh I thought this was a universal truth…

  447. Spicey says:

    I will clear this up because you misread my post. He was NOT a loser. I said he didn’t live up to the potential that he had, which was to be amazing! By most people’s standards he was probably good to average, many girls considered him a catch. But, I’m a damaged gold digger I guess and average just couldn’t be enough for ME.

    In no shape or form was he a loser. As I said, his charisma filled the room, he was smart, and people adored him. But, I always struggled to look past his not living up to what he could have been.

    Unfortunately he died before he got a chance for me to really know, so instead he became a character in my novel and I got to make up the reality that I wanted for him. It was actually his death that got me writing fiction, after a good book from Steve Martin tickled my creative bone during a “lie on the bathroom floor without eating for days, hurt like I was 17” need to process my own feelings of guilt and anger.

    TM: I’ve had three, amazing! long term loves in my life. I just haven’t really talked about personal items as this site is so full of Baracuda’s waiting to strike it can be difficult to be soft or vulnerable.

  448. lil_tm says:

    Yeah I really need to listen to more advise from womenj

    Just like with any advice, I take the bits that are beneficial to me and leave the rest for someone else. 😉

  449. Midwest SB says:

    Heyyyyyy sugars! Nice to see some familiar names! I love this conversation and wish I could dive in, but I’m afraid I wouldn’t get anything else done.

    I’m mired in my studies, decorating my new home, and loving my life! Sugar has been replaced by a man who brings what money can’t. (Who am I kidding…he’s generous as well :) )

    I’ll pop in again soon! Stay sweet!

  450. FatBastardSD says:

    @Principium

    Don’t get me wrong, I like your style (in a completely non homosexual way) as well.

    “On the issue of the shock factor IRL dating: men have to bust a move or else they lose. It is really as simple as that because biologically the human female’s egg is much more precious that the male sperms. It was Nature’s way to keep the balance of power. Get over it!”

    I don’t think either the egg or sperm is more precious since both are required, but I suppose you could argue that the frequency that they are produced tips it in the woman’s favor. But I agree with you 100%. This is the reason why bridges were built, mountains climbed and wars were fought. Bust a move or lose!

  451. FatBastardSD says:

    I missed this great piece of advise from DianaSBinOC

    “The Negs from PUA douchebags only makes women view them as insecure, disrespectful douchebags. Sadly so many are spending more money on these methods yet halt spending any money on women. What does that say to me? Get out of the closet and just go get a man to date.”

    I was thinking about going gay, then I followed this advise and started buying women drinks in bars and paying for expensive dinners and bringing expensive gifts on the first date. I started to get so much pussy it was incredible…

    @Principium

    Yeah I really need to listen to more advise from women…

  452. Principium says:

    @ Nicey Pricey Spicey: The guy who mooches off of others to buy him a drink, is not the same as the guy who everyone wants to buy a drink for. Everyone bows to the (social) King 😉

    @ lil: Most PUA guys have a canned routine, specially if a novice trying to practice their craft. All you have to do is to call them out on it and watch how they melt. Calling them out on their routine is their Kryptonite! On the other hand, a confident and well honed man, will only be amused by your banter like you are some pain the ass little sister who he just swats away for being extra nauseating, yet deep down he really cares for you.

    @ FB: I really do not have a problem with what you say and I think that you are a solid contributor with some sharp angles. We have stylistic differences in our approach, but we both have a good grasp of reality. The female mind, can easily get carried away and fly off at a tangent. You just have a different way of expressing yourself than me. The truth can be spokenth in many different ways but how fast its impact can be turned to your favor or disfavor matters!

    On the issue of the shock factor IRL dating: men have to bust a move or else they lose. It is really as simple as that because biologically the human female’s egg is much more precious that the male sperms. It was Nature’s way to keep the balance of power. Get over it!

  453. FatBastardSD says:

    @Jersey Darling

    We all notice the effort when a woman gets dressed up. Some more than others.

    [\img]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t3UzcjTZGSU&t=4m[\img]

  454. lil_tm says:

    “:I think lil_tm is trying to say the pressure is on us to make ourselves look our best to make men of the caliber we want initiate with us.”

    I’m only saying that being a woman isn’t effortless. We don’t have it as easy as some guys would like to believe.

  455. lil_tm says:

    @ Jersey
    While I agree that women notice these things more than men, I can say that I feel much more confident when I know everything is in its place. And I actually enjoy the process of primping. Sure, no woman looks good with caked on make-up, badly done bolt on boobies or a botox injected face, but there’s a difference between accentuating what assets you have and turning yourself into a piece of overworked plastic. 😀

  456. lil_tm says:

    @FB LoL…you’re funny! There’s nothing dumb about wanting to make the people you care about happy. :p

  457. FatBastardSD says:

    @DianaSBinOC

    You either want to argue just to argue, or you have very poor reading comprehension.

    “Not sure what surfers he knows but the ones around where I live surf early morning and thrown on a suit later to go to work. Just because you’re like to rip up the waves doesn’t make you a loser.”

    That was my point.

    “Actually those types do get laid because they are in shape, charming and attractive. If they weren’t they’d be here right?-Sarcasm.”

    That was my point.

    “My point is that those guys can consider a loser to be a man that has to pay for a woman to give him the time of day and in the opposite a man with means would see him as a loser because he doesn’t have much to offer a woman.”

    That was my point.

    “Blah, Blah, Blah,…”

    You know as musc about stripping in the 80’s and 90’s as you do about escorts.

    Other than that I agree with everything you wrote!

  458. Jersey Darling says:

    @FatBastard – Sure I could spend six hours getting ready if I wanted, but ultimately you hit the point of diminishing returns. I’ve literally gone out sick, glassy eyed and under the weather and still had men hit on me. I agree with you that the onus usually isn’t on us to initiate. I think lil_tm is trying to say the pressure is on us to make ourselves look our best to make men of the caliber we want initiate with us.

  459. Jersey Darling says:

    Maybe it’s just me, but I don’t think looking good for a man takes a lot of effort. Now looking good for a woman does, but I think men are far more lax in their standards and tend to see what we naturally have to offer – the natural curves of your body, the prettiness of your face without makeup, etc. You can try to dress your best to shape your body or put 10 layers of makeup on to make yourself look “better,” but they’ll wake up next to you naked with no makeup eventually.

    For all the talk about chipped nail polish I’ve seen on here from the women, men – do you really care if our nail polish has a chip in it?

    I’ve never heard a man whisper to another, “I can’t believe she had the nerve to come out with that chip on her nail!” Sure, they appreciate the effort we put into ourselves, but at the end of the day they’re more concerned about the other things that get them going.

  460. FatBastardSD says:

    @lil_tm

    I agree. A woman has to spend a lot of time to make herself attractive. But she does not have to initiate to get a guy. That was my point about just standing around and having everything happen. I never claimed taking care of a guy was an easy job, women are the only ones dumb enough to do it!

  461. lil_tm says:

    “Women basically just stand around and have everything happen with no effort”

    I respectfully disagree. Working 40+ hours a week, working out, manicures & pedicures, groomed hair, waxing etc etc..being an attractive woman requires tons of effort. Especially if you do it all yourself.

    And I don’t expect the man to do everything. If I care for someone, I adore cooking for them, taking care of little nuisances they don’t want to deal with, babying them when they’ve had a rough day, etc. It’s a two way street. I’m sorry if you’ve mostly dealt with prima donnas, but not all women are self-centered, self-absorbed winches. Some of us actually like taking care of a man. :)

  462. DianaSBinOC says:

    @LASB!! Hi neighbor!! I know this earthquake weather is hard to sleep through.

    @Fat Bastard–

    —–“A guy following advise from women about dating will lead to failure 99% of the time. Guys eventually learn this or never get laid.”

    The Negs from PUA douchebags only makes women view them as insecure, disrespectful douchebags. Sadly so many are spending more money on these methods yet halt spending any money on women. What does that say to me? Get out of the closet and just go get a man to date.

    —“The error in both your reasoning is as follows. SportsfanSD considers this potential BF a loser because he is not financially well off. For example a DJ, musician, artist, or surfer dude would most likely classify as a loser in SportsfanSD eyes.”

    Not sure what surfers he knows but the ones around where I live surf early morning and thrown on a suit later to go to work. Just because you’re like to rip up the waves doesn’t make you a loser.

    —Of course women (including his SB) also think these guys are losers, that’s why they never get laid. That was sarcasm by the way.

    Actually those types do get laid because they are in shape, charming and attractive. If they weren’t they’d be here right?-Sarcasm.

    My point is that those guys can consider a loser to be a man that has to pay for a woman to give him the time of day and in the opposite a man with means would see him as a loser because he doesn’t have much to offer a woman.

    –Let me tell you the amount of women I met in the 80′s-90′s that were working as strippers in order to support losers was eye opening.

    This is actually true for some but you have to see the psychological, physical and mental abuse they go through every time they step in to work.There is also the sexual vibe of the environment connected to money which in these cases produces the result of a woman seeking out a man without means because she doesn’t want anything relating to what she does for a living.

    In this case the loser broke boyfriend cannot buy her affections like that of the many men married or not that attempt to on a daily basis. So in other words I would see this as her way of disconnecting from work.

    In other cases well a stripper wouldn’t be caught dead with a man without means since she’s become accustomed to men providing for her.

    Also the 80s- 90s was a much better time for strippers because their monies received were based on elaborate stage performances ,spectacular dance moves and high priced costumes. Today stripping requires more hand slapping, less security involvement and more physical activity.

    The loser boyfriend issue was also connected to her making more money than the men they she was seeing. If they were 18-24 years olds with a 6 figure income were they really interested in dating a man double their age? Some maybe but I’m pretty sure others wanted to still be around their own peers in any capacity.

  463. Jersey Darling says:

    @FatBastard, I’d post something supporting your point but then Spicey would cry that I always single her out even though you’re the fourth person on this blogpost that has pointed out the hypocrisy :p

    To me this all harkens back to that elusive “connection” I always talk about – when it’s there, it’s amazing what you’ll consider compromising on. And even in an arrangement, I want it.

  464. FatBastardSD says:

    @lil_tm

    How to be a success with women is guy advise. How to keep a guy happy is guy advise. How to keep a woman happy is guy advise. This is why your brothers advise is so useful.

    Women basically just stand around and have everything happen with no effort. This is why SA is a HUGE shock to women, because they are exposed to the trials that men have to on a regular basis in the dating world.

  465. FatBastardSD says:

    @lil_tm

    The Bastard stands corrected and should not have included you in my post.

    Spicey says:
    April 30, 2013 at 7:47 am
    FB – Yuck! Why would I f*ck someone less successful than my metaphorical husband? Gross downgrade! Even if he looked like Brad Pitt, the only reason the pool boy would be getting some is if my husband refused to put out after years of effort on my part.

    There’s a benefit to gold diggers, we only “dig” those with gold!

    Spicey says:
    April 30, 2013 at 6:44 pm
    I dated a man whose charisma sucked every ounce of oxygen from the room. He was the only man I was ever able to develop feelings for even though he wasn’t completely living up to his EP. I wouldn’t have married him; but even Pricey Spicey can fall prey to the “IT” guy.”

    The FatBastardSD says

    Never trust a woman!

  466. lil_tm says:

    The PUA game is a little silly, but I do believe some of it works on some women.
    The reason why is because it makes a girl do a double take if a guy is borderline disrespectful to her. Nothing gets your attention like a guy giving a backhanded compliment or pretending like he’s not listening to what you’re saying when most guys do the complete opposite.

    Thing is, it gets my attention and then turns me off completely. But I have to give kudos to a guy that has the nads to say something like that as opposed to a guy shuddering because he can’t handle a confident woman.

  467. lil_tm says:

    @FB.I never said I wouldn’t be attracted to a loser. I don’t even believe a person can help who they are attracted to. You don’t have to take our advice, but hearing our perspective on things should help, shouldn’t it?

    If I need guy advice, I ask my brother. And he’s always spot on.

  468. FatBastardSD says:

    @WCSD

    I think you have the best answer here on this issue so far.

  469. FatBastardSD says:

    Interesting reading lil_tm and Spicey do a 180 on how they would never be attracted to a “loser”. Yeah I should listen to advise from women…

  470. FatBastardSD says:

    @Principium

    I don’t know about PUA game. Don’t care. You don’t ask a fish how to fish, the best it can do is tell you how it got caught, and even that might be an unreliable narrative. You ask the fishermen to teach you how to fish, but the great ones probably cannot explain it, you have to watch them and learn.

    I think you do agree with me about the SB BF issue. SportsfanSD’s definition of a loser wil very likely be different than his SB’s definition of a loser.

    Remember the comment that unless I am a male model these SB’s should not give me the time of day. A wealthy educated guy (by most male model standards) was pretty much called a loser. I don’t think that belief is that rare on the SA site.

    And I don’t buy for one minute that SB’s are immune to dating and supporting a certain kind of loser just because they have been in an arrangement before. In fact it gives them more opportunity because the previous financial roadblock to dating said loser is taken care of by the SD ATM.

    My opinion is if your SB asks about getting a BF, or has a BF you are at the bottom of the food chain. Nothing wrong with that as long as you treat the SB in the same way. I mean do guys worry about where the escort they were with is spending the money or if she has a boyfriend?

  471. lil_tm says:

    @Spicey..am I being too nosey in asking why you think you’ve only developed feelings for one man in your entire life?

    Also, being pampered can certainly be applied in the bedroom rather than the spa or the bank account. The guy with the raggedy wardrobe and the hooptie vehicle pampered me in the bedroom SO WELL that if I didn’t care if he had two pennies to rub together. I’d like to think being from New Orleans would mean I’m familiar with someone putting a spell on me, but this guy has some special kind of Voodoo I’ve never experienced before. 😉

  472. Spicey says:

    Capitol P and TM:

    “A guy with that the ability to stay confident regardless of situation or company who can remain cool as a cucumber is a wonderful thing.”

    Add: who picks up the check before you notice it came, opens doors, pulls your hair at just the right moment, and knows how to order a perfect Bordeaux ….. prrrrrrdddddd!!!

  473. Spicey says:

    As to being bitter and angry: youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=DHzjgNoRmjg

  474. lil_tm says:

    @Prince(that’s your new name)
    All I know is it’s very refreshing for a guy to knock me off balance since it rarely happens. And these “college bro” types are the types that are afraid of and intimidated by me. A guy with that the ability to stay confident regardless of situation or company who can remain cool as a cucumber is a wonderful thing. I believe some guys just have it and I believe some guys learn it. And that guy you describe in your last paragraph? I’ve fallen for him, so I understand this all too well! 😉

  475. Spicey says:

    I dated a man whose charisma sucked every ounce of oxygen from the room. He was the only man I was ever able to develop feelings for even though he wasn’t completely living up to his EP. I wouldn’t have married him; but even Pricey Spicey can fall prey to the “IT” guy. To me, the mooching “I have others buy my drinks” guy is completely unappealing – never got that attraction. Being pampered makes my claws retract and my hips purrr.

  476. Principium says:

    @ lil: guys like that don’t even need to open their mouth and say stupid juvenile shit that the PUA practitioners hung up on their nauseating “college-bro” games!

    All he has to do is to look at you and you will know just be his look that he has you all figured out by seeing completely through you, like a human X-Ray & MRI machine. That immediately triggers the fiber optic link from your brain to your vagina, which you called being put in a trance!

    That guy could be the guy with $200 in his bank, a few items of clothing and a 10 year old Ford F150. Who said that life was fair? Life is not fair, but it is darn well efficient 😉

  477. lil_tm says:

    The past couple of days, I have really enjoyed reading through the archives of this blog when I have time. It’s informative, interesting, funny and little cuckoo. I will say though, a lot of the main points I read in some of the discussion topic outlines are waaaay off compared to what I believe.
    I just hate to see a new person get the wrong idea. I think they’re better off reading the comment section than anything.

  478. lil_tm says:

    “Women are very well equipped through their biology to recognize social dominance, irrespective of whether you have the funds or not”

    TRUTH! Guys who have this quality have the ability to put me in a trance before I know what hit me. By nature, I’m submissive which makes me wonder if it would have the same effect on a dominant chick.

  479. Jersey Darling says:

    *post*

    😉

  480. Principium says:

    Apologies for the long posts (well not really!) but here is a chart of sexual intercourse percentages in the U.S. vs age demographics:

    [img]http://glpiggy.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/sexwhen.jpg[/img]

    Women in their 20’s tend to have more sex than their equal male counterparts, so do not be surprised if you are an older SD and the younger SB adheres to what seems to be the norm. Being equipped with this knowledge, be surprised that she had to bring it up and take it as your cue to make a decision to whether continue with that particular dynamic or to change & diversify your own strategy.

    Now dammit, someone else post already…

  481. Lo says:

    madrista do you still read the blog? had a question for you..

  482. Principium says:

    @ guys:

    Please always ask yourself these two very simple questions:

    – What is it that heightens and raises my own Sexual Market Value (SMV)

    – What can I do to be a man who always displays higher values? (DHV)

    to get into a “discussion” (being pissy) with a girl in her low to mid 20’s who is already engulfed in a dark triad of GUILT (this lifestyle is not for everyone), DESIRE for having or being with a more age appropriate BF and being in DIRE financial situation, does not validate that you posses any of the above, because you are practically begging and being petty.

    Women are very well equipped through their biology to recognize social dominance, irrespective of whether you have the funds or not. To have the financial means, does not mean that one possesses much social dominance. The surfer with less than $5 to his name who walks into a bar and has to rely on his buddies or women to buy hi a few, may display that dominance by owning the space around him. Women find that mindset of TMWTHHE (The Many Who Thinks He Has Everything, yet he may not actually own anything) very, very alluring and mind numbingly sexy. Even the so called gold-diggers find these men irresistible (think Sharon Stone’s character in the movie Casino) [Ah, gold diggers are often the easiest ones to fool]

    When a woman and a younger girl in particular brings up BF or SO (significant other) do not hang on like dear life, like it is the only and ever piece of a PYT you’ll ever get. Move on and make it your mission not to beg…

  483. Principium says:

    @ FB: I have studied and practiced PU game both extensively, so allow me to convey my opinion:

    “A guy following advise from women about dating will lead to failure 99% of the time. Guys eventually learn this or never get laid.”

    Not necessarily! In fact, the morons who pay thou$$$ands and attend various (money scamming) bootcamps by those self-professed PUA types are the ones who’ll never get laid (unless drug & alcohol induced date rape is considered getting laid) The PUA industry is now a huge industry, because so many guys are never taught as to how to be a man by their fathers, who were in turn not taught so by their own fathers. We may be into the 3rd generation of this debacle already.

    In the 30’s, 40’s and the 50’s men did not suffer from these chronic deficiencies and were not emasculated wankers (an oxymoron?) Take out the sexism and the racism of that era and you will quickly know as to what type of men, women were extremely attracted to. If we were still living in caves, all women would go to someone probably build like a Dwayne (Rock) Johnson. But we live in Today, whereby a man’s social status and prestige is immediately recognized and rewarded by the opposite (and the same) sex.

    To come back in a full circle, not all women give rubbish advice! Women know women as much as we men, know ourselves men! A man should probably not listen to his mother or great aunt who keep saying, “be nice to women and try to find a nice girl” You know why? Because “nice” has come to encompass terrible dependent traits such as being a bland, boring, supplicating, orbiting fool of a doormat. In my vocabulary, being called “nice” (in dating) is an insult. I rather be told to Eff off! However, I do believe in being both good and decent (being bad and indecent in some cases is also my gift 😉 )

    There are some frustrated men out there who give atrociously terrible advice too. One of the best principles of the Game which I have earned and always apply came from a woman! I learned from her to always observe women, assume something about them and then relate my own experiences to that assumption (whether in harmony or completely in the opposite direction) I have learned that this method works like a charm for me because it is so disarmingly indirect. A suave older guy can never be too direct in so far as to compete with a 25 year younger version of himself. These days, asking a girl bluntly, “hey are you DTF” doesn’t go down so well. Practically speaking, all the creepy weirdos who send c*ck photos on this site are asking a girl if she’s DTF. Ask the girls as to what percentage of them are getting laid? 😉

  484. FatBastardSD says:

    @DianaSBinOC, @LASB

    A guy following advise from women about dating will lead to failure 99% of the time. Guys eventually learn this or never get laid.

    The error in both your reasoning is as follows. SportsfanSD considers this potential BF a loser because he is not financially well off. For example a DJ, musician, artist, or surfer dude would most likely classify as a loser in SportsfanSD eyes. Of course women (including his SB) also think these guys are losers, that’s why they never get laid. That was sarcasm by the way.

    Let me tell you the amount of women I met in the 80’s-90’s that were working as strippers in order to support losers was eye opening.

  485. WCSD says:

    Hi all! Just catching up.

    My two cents on the whole controlling aspect (both financial and who they date).

    I don’t think it is a big deal for a SD to control either where the money goes, or that they can date. In the end it is there choice. Just as it is the SB’s choice to accept this controlling behaviour. They can always leave and find another SD if this isn’t what they are looking for. Would it be smart that this is discussed upfront? Sure. But if it isn’t doesn’t mean that the SD can’t act that way…just might mean the relationship ends because of it.

    In my personal case I could care less if she dates someone else. I just want my time to be my time. If drama enters because of it…I walk. As for the financial side of it, in general I don’t care. But, if I find out that I’m supporting a drug habit, or gambling habit I would change my tune, and put up limits, or more than likely walk. I don’t have a problem with gambling (I love Vegas) and have even smoked up in the past (God forbid!), but they aren’t habits (ok gambling might be…but I have a very specific budget for that which I obviously can afford).

    In the end, sportsfan can demand anything he wants. ANYTHING. He just has to accept that she as a choice…to either accept his demands, or to not accept them…and then he has to choose to either live with it…or walk. Pretty darn simple.

  486. SDinLA says:

    @LASB Hey neighbor! Haven’t seen you on here in ages. How’s life in DTLA treating you?

  487. LASB says:

    FB – I didn’t say she wouldn’t f* him. I just said, she’s not going to spend her SD’s money on him. :)

    Hi Diana! Wow, you were really up late. Maybe something in the air over here, especially with this earthquake weather.

  488. DianaSBinOC says:

    –I should have been more clear. If she really wants a BF then she wants to get boned by someone else. Either you don’t do it enough, or you don’t do it right.

    I don’t agree with this. She’s seeking a real emotional connection, real love or perhaps she’s looking to settle down with someone herself.

    @SD SportsFan

    FBSD – she can boned any time she wants. She doesn’t need to tell me about getting a BF to do that. She just wants the best of both worlds.

    Isn’t that the same thing you’re doing? You’re not starting divorce proceedings are you? You want to keep your wife and you want your sugar baby.

    Also the without sex it’s a loveless marriage etc. If you used “loveless” that’s exactly how you would see it but you used “sexless” marriage which states by your wording that your prime concern is getting sex. Just because someone is sleeping with you doesn’t mean they love you right?

  489. Rosie says:

    Agree, Jersey Darling. Just like you’ve shared about the importance of having a connection, it was always important for me to have connections with my SDs at a deeper level than just physical. Even with boundaries and emotional limits in place, I just couldn’t be sexually intimate with a man without something more being there. I know that’s not everyone’s style, but it worked out well for me.

  490. Jersey Darling says:

    @Rosie – Yes, once you’ve found and dated great guys in an arrangement it’s hard to go back. The good ones treat you very well. But then you run into the bad ones and traditional dating looks more appealing… Plus the emotional connection tends to become important after a while.

  491. Rosie says:

    “I’m here because I have goals I’m trying to accomplish and I don’t have the means to accomplish them without a little helpful boost. I really don’t understand the facet of sugar dating that involves Louis Vuitton bags and jewelry. Seems materialistic to me….I know I’ll probably get stoned to death for this.” -lil_tm

    That was precisely my approach. Allowances went towards me growing my own business and helping out with living expenses so I could focus on classes and other areas that would help with my career. Now that I’m doing well, I can afford to indulge in brand name items occasionally for myself and it was just by chance that I fell for a guy (outside of the sugar bowl) with money. But I did date a few others in between and I have to say I was disappointed in the differences of treatment.

  492. lil_tm says:

    I agree Jersey! I thought the Hunger Games books were great, easy reading and the movie was awesome aesthetically.

  493. SouthernSB says:

    I’ve noticed more and more first timers on the site that are looking for a guy to take them on dates, dinners, excursions, all while giving them a allowance then in caps (NOTHING PHYSICAL TOTALLY PLATONIC).

    Really? That’s strange. Maybe they are believing the hype that they see on TV. After all they way sugardating is shown on TV the only thing the girls have to do is show up and get showered with gifts and money from older desperate men. I know it isn’t true, you know it isn’t true, but that’s what they keep showing because that’s what gets ratings. Seriously, you would think that these girls would have never heard of the meaning of an “adult relationship” or what the words “mutually beneficial” means. I just think they saw an episode of True Life “I’m a Sugarbaby” and thought, “That’s what I’m going to do,” without really knowing what it means. Brandon doesn’t really help either. By not letting the girls know that this site is for women that want real relationships he ends up with little girls who want to use men and have children’s playdates.

  494. Jersey Darling says:

    Hunger Games was actually pretty good. And I typically enjoy the classics…

    Nothing wrong with mixing up what you read once in a while.

  495. lil_tm says:

    Men are attracted to physical appearance first and foremost. So if you’ve ever dated a man and wonder how he can stand to be around this air headed 18 year old girl with nothing interesting to say, there’s one answer..she makes his one-eyed monster happy to see her. :) Not that I have anything against an older man dating a younger woman. Sure, some are super intelligent and cultured and have interesting things to say, but that isn’t the norm. I know when I was that young I didn’t know a damn thing about the real world and that all comes from lifes experiences.

    As for the talk about money, I don’t know about ya’ll but no matter how wealthy a person is, I either connect with them or I don’t. If I truly like a man who lives paycheck to paycheck, I’m going to go with him because the connection is more important than the finances. I’m not here because I want to be spoiled and pampered..I’m here because I have goals I’m trying to accomplish and I don’t have the means to accomplish them without a little helpful boost. I really don’t understand the facet of sugar dating that involves Louis Vuitton bags and jewelry. Seems materialistic to me….I know I’ll probably get stoned to death for this. 😉

    Besides, I was raised on the bayou..we know nothing about the jet set lifestyle here. 😉

  496. FatBastardSD says:

    @SouthernSB

    There are exceptions of course, and I have no problem hanging around an older woman who has the same interests as me, just as I would not enjoy spending time with a younger SB who only wants to talk about twilight.

    I just don’t understand why people think pop culture has to be a common ground in a relationship, since I have never really been into pop culture to begin with.

  497. SouthernSB says:

    The price of the average engagement ring in America is 5,500 dollars. I had no idea that it was so much. I guess more women are getting a one carat than I thought.

  498. Rosie says:

    I’m so out of the Twilight, American Idol, Hunger Games loop. Not mad about it!

    “I’ve noticed more and more first timers on the site that are looking for a guy to take them on dates, dinners, excursions, all while giving them a allowance then in caps (NOTHING PHYSICAL TOTALLY PLATONIC)…” -gtt_envy

    I can’t speak from experience about the above types of arrangements, but I just don’t see how any man would be okay with that. A rich SD could just give money to his niece or something and take her out to dinner if that’s what he wanted!

  499. gtt_envy says:

    All of this P4P vs Allowance………….lol. P4P or Allowance is the same thing for me when I have a SB because I only see them 1 time a month anyway…..lol.

    My last arrangement just ended because she felt guilty as her and her boyfriend were getting serious. Which of course she tells me:

    “I need to tell you something, okay? My boyfriend asked me to move in and I said yes. I still want to see you, but I feel so guilty that we are intimate it means I have nothing special left to give him. Could we just do everything, but that? I’m sorry it’s just been on my heart lately!”

    We talked a bit more, but imo if you start taking things off the table it becomes way weird and extremely transactional feeling. So, we decided to end it. She still texted me all week they are finally starting to wane a little.

    I’ve noticed more and more first timers on the site that are looking for a guy to take them on dates, dinners, excursions, all while giving them a allowance then in caps (NOTHING PHYSICAL TOTALLY PLATONIC) it’s getting harder and harder starting to feel like work to find a SB.

    It’s funny my first SB was the longest and everyone since has become shorter and shorter in length.

  500. sassynsweet says:

    @SouthernSB I don’t know anyone who actually enjoyed Twilight…and I know nothing about the Hunger Games, so I’m not sure if they have any merit (the plot sounds really dumb)

  501. SouthernSB says:

    FatBastardSD says:
    April 29, 2013 at 1:43 pm

    @Spicey

    “How an accomplished 60+ year old SD isn’t bored to tears by a 20 year old SB (well, except for when they’re naked. I get that).”

    A common argument. Most women close to my age that I meet are watching Twighlight movies, American Idol, and running to the yoga studio in organic free trade LuLu pants. I would rather gouge my eyes out with an icepick than spend time with them. A common misconception is that all people of the same generation have the same common interests and preferences as defined by the predominant pop culture of that generation.

    I’m 49 and I would absolutely tear my hair out if I had to watch AI and read those insipid Twilight novels. My mother’s husband’s daughter took us to watch the stupid “Hunger Games,” and it was 90 minutes of my life I will never get back. Now, don’t get me wrong, I can have a good time watching a bad movie. I love “Crank I and II”, “The Expendables I and II”, “The Transporter” and “Taken”. But I have no desire to sit in a movie theater watching a bunch of teenagers in the bliss of adolescent lust, while killing each other in for the joy of the elite. Not only that it’s obvious that the author doesn’t have children, because neither Twilight nor the Hunger Games was made for kids, but yet stupid parents keep letting their 8 years old go to those movies. Idiots.

  502. Rosie says:

    @sassynsweet

    Sounds like a plan! :-) Just be really smart about your arrangements and you’ll do great. I was very fortunate that I had only positive and wonderful experiences so sugar dating didn’t make me bitter or angry (as it appears it may have done to some women just from reading past blog comments). Arrangements can be a beautiful experience. I’m still friends with all (but one) of my past SDs. The only reason we aren’t friends is because he’s getting married and really wanted to close the door on his past simply out of respect for the wife to be.

  503. sassynsweet says:

    Rosie – I’m in year one of sugar life (and loooving it)! 5 years puts me at 25, which gives me several years of dating my rich prince before starting to think about marriage in my late 20s. It’s a plan.

  504. Rosie says:

    He’s not my hubby, btw. We’ve been dating just a year. But we do talk about a future together one day. I was in the sugar bowl for nearly 5 years before deciding to go the traditional dating route.

  505. Rosie says:

    “Rosie where did you meet your older hubby>? At a yachting event? Just taking notes here, lol.” Lo

    “Rosie – Yes, details please! Definitely not opposed to becoming a trophy wife…” -sassyandsweet

    Lol, girls. We actually met through work. We had mutual clients and always ran into each other at breakfast and lunch meetings, became friends then you know, one thing led to another. But it was being in the sugar world that helped me to work for myself and be successful on my own so he and I may have never met otherwise. Sugar! Oh honey honey! 😉

  506. sassynsweet says:

    Rosie – Yes, details please! Definitely not opposed to becoming a trophy wife…

  507. Lo says:

    Rosie where did you meet your older hubby>? At a yachting event? Just taking notes here, lol.

  508. Rosie says:

    “SDsportsfan – Your SB spending money on a “loser boyfriend” seems unlikely. SBs become accustomed to a high standard and then learn through experience that they don’t need to settle for less.” -LASB

    Very, very true. If you’re lucky enough to have great experiences in the Sugar Bowl and had/have SDs who were/are gentlemen and really take/took care of you (physically, financially, etc), it’s hard to go back to a regular Joe Shmoe, let alone a loser boyfriend.

    This sparked a thought about SDSportsfan‘s dilemma. Esp now that he disclosed she’s on the north end of 20, slowly approaching 30. One of the reasons I left the Sugar Bowl was because I was ready for a relationship with more of an emotional attachment, which is ONE thing that arrangements do lack. They have to, to some degree. Sure, I cared about my SDs and they cared about me, but in order to keep them NSA, boundaries had to be in place and most of those were emotional limits. It’s simply a must in an arrangement. Typically, neither party goes into an arrangement to fall in lovey dovey. So yes, I do agree with the others now that she may just be missing the emotive aspect of a relationship – which is perfectly natural. Time for her to make some decisions! And time for SDsportsfan to outline expectations early on in future arrangements.

    @FatBastardBooBoo

    Our pool boy is always a sickly orange color (from over-tanning), wears hideous cut off jean shorts and sings show tunes while he’s cleaning. No chance of me ever f***ing him.

  509. Spicey says:

    FB – Yuck! Why would I f*ck someone less successful than my metaphorical husband? Gross downgrade! Even if he looked like Brad Pitt, the only reason the pool boy would be getting some is if my husband refused to put out after years of effort on my part.

    There’s a benefit to gold diggers, we only “dig” those with gold! 😉

  510. FatBastardSD says:

    @LASB

    So the stereotype of the woman married to a really rich guy f*ucking the pool boy are not true?

  511. lil_tm says:

    Oh, and as for the safety issue, her not having a bf doesn’t ensure she’s clean as she could be carrying an STD from before you even met her. The only way to dodge that bullet is to use protection or get tested. *chills*

  512. lil_tm says:

    @SDsportsfan-Change careers so she is better off financially? Obviously it’s not that easy or everyone would do it. I think you’re being unreasonable in your expectations here. For one, you didn’t communicate effectively about what you wanted out the gate. You can’t expect someone to be exclusive without making a commitment of some sort and especially not without voicing your desires. I say chalk it up to a lesson learned for next time.

    Of course there’s always the possibility of being lied to in any situation, but if I’m going to be involved in an open arrangement, I like to think two grown adults can cut to the chase about what they really want and be open and honest so there’s no childish issues to deal with.

  513. DianaSBinOC says:

    Don’t feel bad LASB, I can’t sleep either. :)

  514. LASB says:

    Why did I end that with a question mark? Obviously I need more sleep.

    Hi everybody! It’s been a while, but insomnia has me peeking in tonight.

  515. LASB says:

    SDsportsfan – Your SB spending money on a “loser boyfriend” seems unlikely. SBs become accustomed to a high standard and then learn through experience that they don’t need to settle for less. If she is truly looking for another relationship and not just trying to negotiate more from you (either emotionally or financially) it’s likely that she’s seeking an upgraded version of you. If she’s used to being spoiled by you, a loser on the side would have no appeal. Maybe ask her what her motivation is in seeking a boy friend?

  516. Spicey says:

    We’ll keep him locked in the armoire in a gimp suit until such time as my desires require a stunt c*ck.

  517. Principium says:

    I’ll bring along ElGordoDiBastardo and you can indulge till your own exhaustion 😉

  518. Spicey says:

    I’ve been known to want to indulge at all hours of the day and night. My demands can be rather exhausting. :)

  519. Principium says:

    No concern, but I’ll dial u up some extra Synovial when calling for room service.

  520. Spicey says:

    Oh you’re lucky on that one Capitol P, had the big expensive ring once upon a time – thing was damn uncomfortable, never wearing one again. Now I prefer vacations. You’re welcome to come along, as long as you provide the “room service” :)

    Do you have any concerns for my spine? :)

  521. Principium says:

    Hey Nicey Pricey, so where’re we getting engaged? Tiffany’s for the ring? I’ll cheat on you baby, if you can’t recall experiencing it. It’s actually very good for your spine and you should trust me on that.

    I’m such a giver and give till it hurts. That’s just how I roll 😉

  522. Rosie says:

    “@Spicey, Beach_Girl, Rosie, Beck

    You all clearly suffer from penis envy. While all of you mock the penis in public you realize that it is the only thing you live for.” -FatBastardSD

    Oh I love the penis. I just don’t love photos of the penis. But men, if you feel the need to send dick pics, might I suggest holding a ruler alongside your erect penis, so that a pot SB can accurately quantify the size of it? You’re welcome, SBs.

    And why is Beck a part of this?

  523. Spicey says:

    Capitol P – With whom I will engage.

    I don’t care about an SD stepping outside of his marriage. I do believe that when someone shows us who they are, we should believe them. His SB has shown him that she doesn’t especially hold monogamy in the highest of regard.

    I am now scouring my brain trying to remember when I was cheated on … (but I’m sure I’ll be pissed when I do).

  524. Principium says:

    There are many exceptions to your statement Spicey. I am rather surprised that you did not carefully gauge and calibrate that statement (being domiciled in UT and knowing the polygamist practices among some Mormons)

    For instance in polygamist, poly-amorous & swinger & open marriage type of life styles men and women lay with other partners (men exclusively in polygamy) without deception. Infidelity or “cheating” for lack of a better term, is the case which you are having the issue with. Everyone has been cheated on, EVERY ONE! It is a universal life experience which we all share 😉

  525. Jersey Darling says:

    @Spicey – I always call out those with the weakest arguments. Make your arguments stronger and I won’t have to keep poking at you with the candy coated cattle prod 😉

  526. Spicey says:

    Jersey – he’s already told us he’s cheating. And she is lying, to his wife by sleeping with her husband and pretending that she is not. But, again it’s always me that you need to attack, regardless of what any other person on the blog has said. Glad I occupy so much of your mental energy. I thought you had tired of talking to me? But, I have tired of you.

    Good night all.

  527. Beach_Girl says:

    FBSD~ you could always email me 😀

  528. Jersey Darling says:

    Spicey – How is she lying? She’s not. She can be completely honest with him if she chooses, she’s not the one doing the cheating.

    And that’s assuming it is cheating – there ARE cases where the man’s partner knows what he is doing and for a variety of reasons allows him to seek someone else.

  529. Spicey says:

    Jersey – when a woman sleeps with a married man she already IS lying. As is he. They’ve already shown each other how they feel about keeping promises of exclusivity.

  530. Jersey Darling says:

    @Spicey: “Sorry Sportsfan, someone who will lie with you will lie to you, no honor among thieves and all that. As long as you’re married you can think, hope, want, and dream that your SB will be exclusive, or you can shit in your hand – see which one fills up with reality first.”

    Do you honestly believe what you write? Seriously :roll: sometimes I think you do it for the attention…

    Some of us do have honor. Of course an SB will be exclusive, that’s part of what you’d be compensating her for. And it’s completely understandable why a married man more than anyone would want an exclusive SB – he does not want to give his wife, ESPECIALLY if she is unknowing, an STD.

    I naturally tend toward monogamy anyway, and I’m happy to commit to it although I will expect more for that. I’ve been single for nearly 10 years, I’m not in a rush to get a boyfriend anytime soon (unless I stumble across the right guy).

  531. FatBastardSD says:

    @Beach_Girl

    I will post my pic during blockbuster movie season. That way it will get the best viewing possible.

  532. Beach_Girl says:

    SDsportsfan~ Communication is the key! 😀 Enjoy the shopping trip 😀 and you’re welcome
    Flyr~ Is it something you discuss before the arrangement? do you ask what she plans to do with the allowance? If so, that’s great. If not, you can’t control your SBs spending habits, I think it all comes down to communication

    Spicey~ HAHAH, I have gotten a few as well….gross about the red sore… I puked a little in my mouth with that one, thanks lol

  533. FatBastardSD says:

    @SDsportsfan

    I should have been more clear. If she really wants a BF then she wants to get boned by someone else. Either you don’t do it enough, or you don’t do it right.

  534. Spicey says:

    At ladies: ” DO NOT SEND PIC OF YOU F***ing someone else! Please!”

    Wow someone was dumb enough to do this? Please say it isn’t so.”

    I can think of three different men who sent me photos of themselves boning someone else. One man’s “model” also had an unsightly red sore on her unmentionables. So hot I couldn’t delete his email fast enough.

  535. flyr says:

    @SDsportsfan
    – I don’t like the idea of my allowance being used for her to take out a loser of a boyfriend or am I being unreasonable?

    There’s a vast gulf between not liking and deal breaker. I am happier if my SB is using the sugar for something worthwhile. I draw the line at drugs and perhaps a soft line at obsessive shopping .

    Lowlife boyfriends are a problem. Of course if she had a great boyfriend you may be dismissed.

  536. SDsportsfan says:

    Beach_Girl – that sounds great. Haha!

  537. Spicey says:

    Sporty – can she really be boned anytime she wants? If you’re married and working long hours how often are you actually available to give her any quality time?

    Though Beachy may be right that she just wants more $$ – but then why tell you? There’s a motive, something she wants, behind telling you. And, I have a hard time believing it’s your blessing.

    You could try giving her the okay and see what happens.

  538. Beach_Girl says:

    Diana~ Yes! I have proof lol… seriously!

  539. Beach_Girl says:

    SDsportsfan~ This is an arrangement, you have to say what you want and don’t want. If she wants to get laid only, get her a few toys! 😀 or better yet, go shopping for some toys with her

  540. DianaSBinOC says:

    ” DO NOT SEND PIC OF YOU F***ing someone else! Please!”

    Wow someone was dumb enough to do this? Please say it isn’t so.

  541. SDsportsfan says:

    Thanks Beach_Girl you make the most sense!!!

    FBSD – she can boned any time she wants. She doesn’t need to tell me about getting a BF to do that. She just wants the best of both worlds

  542. Beach_Girl says:

    spicey~ hahahahhahahha roflmao

  543. Beach_Girl says:

    FBSD~ I have my naked legs there… where is your pic?

  544. Spicey says:

    I worship the phalic! Down on my knees, eyes gazing upon its holy splendor, mouth agape in its beauty!

    It’s that it is so perfect that I don’t want to spoil the surprise with photos in advance … yeah, that’s it.

    (Think he bought it? I should be able to turn that into a couple extra pairs of tube socks next month.)

  545. FatBastardSD says:

    @flyr

    WTF! I have been trying to get these blog babes to put up some naked pictures since I have been on the blog. In fact it’s the only reason I post. Then you come along and set the clock back 50 years.

  546. FatBastardSD says:

    @Beach_Girl

    I also think the penis is best seen in person. You can always lie about the size until there is photographic evidence to the contrary.

  547. flyr says:

    @spicey “Oh Beachy! On the penis pic, gentlemen, if you’re going to take cokshots a couple pointers:

    1. Pose for the camera, at full attention, give us your complete glory – what’s with the hand around the base semi?

    2. Style his hair. No wild fros poking out under a dirty wife beater, or over your beige once-tighty-whiteys.

    3. Please, don’t catch your pants around your ankles, the fact that you’re sitting at your desk, or anything related to the fact that you dropped trou at the office with pics of your kids in the background.

    Boy, sounds pretty complicated. How about you just don’t do it!”

    Spicey – perhaps you should be working as the Etiquette Advisor to Congress

    Being on the other side of the fence and receiving occasional photos only a gynecologist could love I understand the general reaction. What was she thinking?

  548. FatBastardSD says:

    @SDsportsfan

    Are you serious? She already has her male “platonic friends” who have been trying to f*uck her the last 10 years if she wants to hang out. If your SB really wants a BF and is not trying to make you jealous, she is looking to get boned.

  549. Beach_Girl says:

    FBSD~ I didn’t get your penis pic? lol… Really, if I ask for a photo, I would like to see the person, not the penis. You can send that later 😛

  550. Beach_Girl says:

    SDsportsfan~ Just tell her you want exclusive, that’s all you have to do. Put the man panties on 😀

  551. FatBastardSD says:

    @Spicey, Beach_Girl, Rosie, Beck

    You all clearly suffer from penis envy. While all of you mock the penis in public you realize that it is the only thing you live for.

  552. SDsportsfan says:

    You guys are funny! She’s 27 actually so she’s not THAT young…lol. At least she’s being honest about it. I don’t think she’s dissatisfied – probably just wants someone to hang out with since my time is limited and she’s bored/lonely whatever

  553. Beach_Girl says:

    Spicey~ Thanks, it’s been hard not too…no, I feel bitchy not too smoke, but I am doing good. in a few days I’ll be ok!

  554. Beach_Girl says:

    Spicey ~ HAHAHHA I could send you lots, not sure it’s nice to do that though lol…

    Rosie~ Yeah, and don’t wear White socks lol… or have to TV on , And DO NOT SEND PIC OF YOU F***ing someone else! Please!

  555. Rosie says:

    @Spicey

    You forgot to add:

    – Don’t take aforementioned dick pic in your bathroom mirror with your piles of disgusting laundry behind you or anything else that looks dirty. We’re women. We notice everything surrounding the dick.

  556. Spicey says:

    Beachy – send me some if yours and I’ll see if I recognize any photos I received, lol. Wonder if Dorky would disapprove of us sharing those?

    Congrats on the not smoking!

  557. Beach_Girl says:

    Rosie~ HAHAHAHHA yeah , really!!! the one eyed salute, no thanks boys!
    I got a lot of them hahahah I could start a penis pic site probably lol…

  558. Rosie says:

    Oh. I just realized she is only 20.

  559. Rosie says:

    “I like it clean shaven… I’m talking about me though :P” -Principium

    Manscaping is definitely necessary!

    “I guess I should insist on that up front next time but as someone said – the SB could always lie about it and I’d never know.” -SDSportsfan

    Sure you would. Eventually. I don’t care how good of an actor a girl is. Being insincere and disingenuous can only last so long before true colors appear. But yes as I said above, just request exclusivity from the beginning if that’s what you really want. If you find out she’s lying and you’re wearing protection, how much of a loss will it really be?

    “Or how many times do you ask to see a photo of the SD and he sends a penis pic?!?!? Really…” -Beach_Girl

    Omg. I’m glad that only ever happened to me once or twice! I mean really? What kind of response are the guys who do this hoping to get? “Dayum! Hot dick pic! I can’t wait to jump on that! How soon can we meet?!” rolleyes :roll:

  560. Beach_Girl says:

    Spicey~ or greed…Maybe she got a better offer and wants more? Who knows, I just think that we can’t generalize arrangements. If he doesn’t want her to have a BF he should tell her, put your man panties on and just tell her. As for her allowance, she can do as she pleases with it. If not, it should of been a condition of the arrangement!
    Also, I am Bitchy from the not smoking 😀 Sorry

  561. Spicey says:

    Beachey – it’s that she was exclusive in the beginning and NOW wants a BF that tells me she’s dissatisfied, or lonely. There are all sorts of arrangements, but when someone IN the arrangement tries to renegotiate its often a sign of dissatisfaction.

  562. FatBastardSD says:

    So it’s a safety issue.

    You could always ask a potential SB how much additional allowance she would require to wear a chastity belt. That certainly protects you.

    I am not sure why your SB would go through the trouble of a chastity belt since she has no way of knowing you are being faithful to her unless you are willing to lock up your penis as well. However since your SB told you that she believes a married man who is cheating on his wife is less likely to cheat on her maybe she would be dumb enough to agree.

  563. Spicey says:

    Oh Beachy! On the penis pic, gentlemen, if you’re going to take cokshots a couple pointers:

    1. Pose for the camera, at full attention, give us your complete glory – what’s with the hand around the base semi?

    2. Style his hair. No wild fros poking out under a dirty wife beater, or over your beige once-tighty-whiteys.

    3. Please, don’t catch your pants around your ankles, the fact that you’re sitting at your desk, or anything related to the fact that you dropped trou at the office with pics of your kids in the background.

    Boy, sounds pretty complicated. How about you just don’t do it!

  564. Beach_Girl says:

    Spicey~ Girl… you can’t say she is dissatisfied with the arrangement if she has a BF, Seriously… some people just want the best of both worlds.
    And, Yes, there are girls (20s, 30s, 40s) that want to be exclusive. You can’t generalize arrangements, it’s what both SDs and SBs want. No bullcrap, no drama. If he wanted to be exclusive, he should of asked for it. A lot of SDs do.

  565. Spicey says:

    Sorry Sportsfan, someone who will lie with you will lie to you, no honor among thieves and all that. As long as you’re married you can think, hope, want, and dream that your SB will be exclusive, or you can shit in your hand – see which one fills up with reality first.

    As long as you’re cheating, I wouldn’t believe that an SB (with any sense in her head) is going to believe that it’s in her best interest to give you exclusivity. And, an SB with a boyfriend on the side is probably going to be better for you long term as you won’t get all that “I’ll tell your wife” drama if she falls in lurv.

    I’ve been the “other woman” to an SD, and I was exclusive. But, we shared an intense physical, emotional, and sexual bond. If your SB is telling you she wants a BF it’s because she’s dissatisfied with your arrangement in some way and is hoping that by telling you her thoughts you may fix it or give her permission to fix it elsewhere.

    20 years old is really too young for you to expect her to lock away her youth for a sometimes partner; three months feels like an eternity when you’re that young, and imagine how lonely she probably gets. You have your wife at least, what does she have?

    In your next arrangement a divorcee or someone a little older with more maturity in matters of the heart may be a better fit, if you really need exclusivity.

  566. Beach_Girl says:

    Hello Sugars!

    Lots of chatter as always, I can’t keep up with you Blogsters 😀

    SDsportsfan~ I think it’s not unusual for SBs to have a BF or other SDs. If you wanted exclusive, you should always ask. I wouldn’t want more than 1 SD, but some like more than one and even have a BF. As for her changing careers/job to have a BF instead of both an SD & BF… ridiculous! Come on, you just have to ask for exclusiveness. I know some SBs that are married, so …. you can’t assume anything.

    Requests on emails lol… Rosie, yep, I think we all had those requests and much more… Or how many times do you ask to see a photo of the SD and he sends a penis pic?!?!? Really…

  567. SDsportsfan says:

    I just logged on again since I’ve been working all day! Thanks for all your responses and suggestions! I didn’t really get an answer but maybe there isn’t an answer…Lol. I was hoping someone on here had been in a similar situation since 40%+ of SD’s are apparently married according to SA!

    However I do think that since the nature of an arrangement itself is a temporary thing whether its 3 months, 6 months or 12 months then an SB should be able to be exclusive as long as the arrangement is on-going. If she wants a BF then maybe she should change careers/jobs so she doesn’t need an SD and then get a BF. And to answer one of the comments at least from a guys standpoint – if a marriage is sexless then it almost always loveless too! It’s a partnership (with kids) at that point!

    She also said that she liked the fact that I was married since I wouldn’t be sleeping with other girls (so less concern about safety/diseases) but then she wants to do exactly that! It’s unlikely that the first guy that she dates will become her boyfriend so that means sleeping with several guys before she finds a BF. Seems a bit contradictory to me.

    Yes it will probably make me feel like an ATM…lol.

    I can understand the unfairness of expecting exclusivity if I’m not “available” but not if the whole thing is temporary to begin with! I’m not looking to marry her – just suggesting that it should be exclusive as long as the arrangement is in place. That seems fair enough and is much safer for both of us. I guess I should insist on that up front next time but as someone said – the SB could always lie about it and I’d never know.

  568. Principium says:

    I like it clean shaven… I’m talking about me though 😛

  569. Rosie says:

    Yeah, Spicey, I didn’t mind the hairless request at all. I’ve gone completely shaved (amazing stimulation), but prefer Brazilian (landing strip) these days. I know a manicured mane can send a guy’s libido skyrocketing, but the offer to pay for waxing and birth control in the first email was such a turn-off. >:(

  570. Spicey says:

    Fatty, if you save up all your extra Nike samples and sell them on eBay, then clip some coupons from Backpage maybe you can afford an afternoon’s P4P next time I’m in LA. 😉

  571. Spicey says:

    I don’t mind the hairless request, as I’m blonde and prefer to be smoothe, so I’m not really going to go wookie anyway. But, I do find it funny when men insist on it before you’ve even had a conversation. Seems like me requesting that allowance always be paid in $50’s.

  572. FatBastardSD says:

    @Spicey

    So cruel, you know I cannot afford you. Sob.

  573. Rosie says:

    Back when I was on SA, a married SD contacted me. He was in his late 40’s. In his very first email, he said he had 2 requirements: 1) bald vajayjay 2) unprotected sex – he said he would pay for the monthly waxing and birth control in order to have these two things fulfilled. I never responded.

  574. Rosie says:

    Sex without a condom is just DUMB. Unless you’re in a completely monogamous relationship/marriage, sock that wanger before you bang her.

  575. DianaSBinOC says:

    @Pricincipium
    —Pregnancy?! Here’s my mantra: No gloving, no loving!

    I second this! I don’t see the purpose of every going unprotected in sugar dating or any dating for that matter. There is no benefit in risking your health for an arrangement that can very well last 1 week or 3 months.

  576. Principium says:

    @ FB: I believe the correct term is a doughboy with sugar sprinkled on top 😉

  577. DianaSBinOC says:

    @FB Whether it is a dominance issue or an issue of insecurity(and they kind of overlap in most cases), he is married. I’m assuming she knows this and, imo, has every right to have a boyfriend. If he wants to be with her only, he needs to leave his wife and make a commitment with her. Until that day, he has no right to say who she can and cannot date.

    I agree with lil_tm on this. She’s 20 he’s 60. He’s married she’s single. It would not only be unfair but quite selfish and controlling to expect her to be committed to someone that can’t obviously do that himself. Let’s not forget that she’s well aware that his track record of fidelity isn’t all that great. She may not be the first and she may also not be the last.

    Oh wait he’s in his mid 40s not 60s.

    @SDsportsfan
    — I don’t like the idea of my allowance being used for her to take out a loser of a boyfriend or am I being unreasonable?

    Well the same could be said in the reverse. You wife probably wouldn’t appreciate you using your funds plus cheating on her either. The only unreasonable part is she’s a young woman that perhaps wants a real connection , love, emotions that she doesn’t have to hide or sneak around to enjoy. Remember you said ” sexless marriage” not a loveless one.

    You now have both why shouldn’t she?

    –Why doesn’t she just get a rich boyfriend and kill 2 birds with one stone?

    If it really was that easy she wouldn’t be with you.
    —-It seems like she wants a long-term SD as well as a boyfriend.

    That’s quite possible. Obviously if she could get the two in one package then she would. However she has you as her SD and feels that since you have a wife what’s wrong with her having a boyfriend?

    —I’d have no problem getting another SB as I met 6-7 girls before deciding on this one and they all wanted an arrangement with me but I’d rather keep this one as its just not my style to jump around!!

    She’s also very well aware that you have other options but she didn’t sneak behind your back, she actually talked to you about it which shows a great level of maturity and honesty. Generally if she gets serious with someone she may decide to end things anyways.

    The one thing I could say is that you’ll be in the very same position. You’re cheating because you said you’re in a sexless marriage and she’ll be cheating because she’s in one that doesn’t provide the financial assistance she desires. In this case you’ll both be on semi-equal footing.

    Now after this if you still want a 20 year old sugar baby to be yours exclusively, not dating not bfs etc all while being married yourself, you’ll have to make sure that’s discussed at the beginning of an arrangement . You may also have to be aware that some sbs could very well lie to keep the sugar flowing.

  578. Principium says:

    Covering up has been second nature to me after almost 20 years. I was even covering up when married, because she wanted to be off her pills (good for some women to cycle off for a while) and I was totally fine with that. In retrospect, I really had wished that I started covering up even earlier than that!

    Been seriously considering a vasectomy, but I don’t want to get sloppy with taking chances on STDs. I have dodge the STD bullet all this time and at almost at 50, I’d dread visiting VD clinics for penicillin shots or possibly a lot worse 😉

  579. Spicey says:

    Lil TM – we can allow the blog SDs to test for firmness, bounce, and proper smack response. 😉

  580. Spicey says:

    Capitol P – your sex appeal just increased in my estimation. I’m so tired of the whining about protection from men. I can’t remember to eat dinner some nights, you really want to trust me to never forget a pill?!

    FB – I already posted the photo of my itty bitty booty shorts and subsequent peaking ass and offered you a spanking, how obvious must a girl get?

  581. FatBastardSD says:

    @Ayr

    I like the baseball glove idea. You might be a democrat but you have redeemed yourself.

  582. lil_tm says:

    @Spicey I challenge you to a nice booty duel! 😉

    @FB Mitten huh? Besides the fact that it’s soft fabric, that sounds pretty painful lol

  583. Ayr says:

    Why not try a baseball globe, with the ball in the palm of it?

  584. FatBastardSD says:

    @ Principium,

    You are right on man. I like to use a mitten and get the whole hand in there. Really makes the girl go crazy!

  585. Ayr says:

    Turkey baster.

  586. Principium says:

    Pregnancy?! Here’s my mantra: No gloving, no loving!

  587. Ayr says:

    I have a lot of compassion for those that are forced to sell sex for money, but no more than those that are forced to work in coal mines, or sign up for the military, or work in meatpacking developing repetitive motion injuries and a lifetime of intense physical pain. In general, I have a lot of compassion for the poor, which is why I vote Democrat.

  588. FatBastardSD says:

    @Spicey

    I would be happy to bounce quarters off your ass. All you had to do was ask!

  589. Ayr says:

    I agree with TM that the SB should be free to spend the allowance as she pleases.

  590. FatBastardSD says:

    @Principium

    What makes you think I don’t already have a sugar boy? Is that the correct term for it?

  591. Ayr says:

    Spicey has a very valid point about SBs having GFs. If you force that out, you open yourself to the risk of accidental this-and-that, including the pregnancy.

  592. Principium says:

    First NBA player came out as gay today. Which SD wanna be the first in here? FBSD, want to hold hands, pretty boy? 😉

  593. Rosie says:

    Mentorship is not always a parental role. If you’re dating or are in an arrangement with someone successful, it makes sense to occasionally seek business advice from them.

  594. sassynsweet says:

    Spicey – sorry, my unicorn doesn’t like strangers.

  595. Spicey says:

    Correction: meant to say “and” not “or,” uneducated, unaccomplished, unintelligent, uninformed, AND naive, OR just really, really, really significantly younger to ones own life experiences. Doogie Howsers of the world exempt from this, of course.

  596. Spicey says:

    FB – although my breasts are perfect and perky, I tend to attract quarter bouncing ass men. 😉

  597. Spicey says:

    Sassy you are correct, I was speaking in generalities. If an SB has accomplished all that at 20, bravo; I imagine I’d find her very accomplished, and then I’d ask to pet her unicorn.

    I will correct myself in saying that I don’t understand how an accomplished person could find an unaccomplished, naive, or uneducated person interesting (at any age) though at 20 I just don’t expect as much from her, she’s just starting out in life.

  598. FatBastardSD says:

    @lil_tm

    I do agree with you about controlling where the allowance goes (who was the time/desire to do this). Maybe it’s a control issue, I have heard (from a POT SB) that some SD’s even want to decide on the cloths and makeup that the SB wears when they meet.

    Everyone is different.

  599. lil_tm says:

    @FB..haha! I don’t vote, so you can have my rights on that one!

    Yes, the sb could be pulling that little trick. As a matter of fact, that’s probably exactly what she’s doing, but it doesn’t change the fact that a married man shouldn’t be able to tell a single woman she can’t date other men and he shouldn’t be able to dictate what she does with her allowance. JMO. :))

  600. sassynsweet says:

    @Spicey – I take serious issue with that comment: “things I’ll never understand:

    How an accomplished 60+ year old SD isn’t bored to tears by a 20 year old SB”

    Are you so insecure in yourself that the only way you can feel good about yourself is to convince yourself that anyone without saggy tits and stretch marks can’t possibly have anything of merit to offer? What about the Ivy League sugar babies, who are young, intelligent, and cultured from internships, travel abroad, gap years, and may have already published/started foundations of their own? According to SA, there are a number of sugar babies at various Ivy League, and Ivy League caliber, universities.

    I, for one, am anti-ageists.

  601. FatBastardSD says:

    @Spicey

    “How an accomplished 60+ year old SD isn’t bored to tears by a 20 year old SB (well, except for when they’re naked. I get that).”

    A common argument. Most women close to my age that I meet are watching Twighlight movies, American Idol, and running to the yoga studio in organic free trade LuLu pants. I would rather gouge my eyes out with an icepick than spend time with them. A common misconception is that all people of the same generation have the same common interests and preferences as defined by the predominant pop culture of that generation.

    P.S. I am happy to know that you find it sexy that I am attracted to your breasts. We could make this work between us after all.

    P.S.S. Don’t worry Jersey_Darling I still think you are FINE!

  602. FatBastardSD says:

    @lil_tm

    Let’s not get carried away with talking about rights, I mean that’s how women ended up being able to vote, and we all know what a disaster that turned out to be.

    The SB could be asking about a BF to force him into making a commitment to her, which she is entitled to do if he wants to be exclusive. The SB might just be using him for money and is tired of hiding it and already has a BF.

    In a rush to blame SportsfanSD let’s not forget the other side here. The SB can leave and find a rich boyfriend as SportsFanSD suggested, or she can find a single SD, or she can find a BF. If she really wants a BF then my thinking is that she sees SportsfanSD as an ATM and he should either accept that or find another SB.

  603. lil_tm says:

    @ Mr. P-sugar shouldn’t be a headache, so I agree with you there. :)

    @ Spicey-I will never understand how someone can spend their time with someone they don’t mentally connect with to some degree, large age gap or not. I agree with you, for them it must be physical and we all know that type of thing has no substance, so no thank you. 😉

  604. Spicey says:

    Two things I’ll never understand:

    How an accomplished 60+ year old SD isn’t bored to tears by a 20 year old SB (well, except for when they’re naked. I get that).

    Why anyone would want to mentor their lover. Seems rather a parental action and rather counter to the NSA and sexual undertones of most arrangements.

    But, maybe I’ve just never been able to feel sexy toward someone who mentored me, more like a father/daughter sort of appreciation.

  605. Principium says:

    @ Miss lil, in fact there was a comment from someone (SDinLA?) in one of the earlier blogs stating that tuition fees were not taxable gifts, so there may actually be a benefit to that in a prolonged and ongoing arrangement, but I am no expert an I don’t even seek out that kind of SB.

    heck, I’m sick and tired of my own kids goofing around and wasting my $$$ on taking courses and dropping out. I don’t need someone else’s headache to be added to my own ! 😉

  606. lil_tm says:

    “When I stated the age range of 60′s, I wasn’t being an ageist toward older SDs, but trying to convey the scenario under which an SD is truly a mentor and a motivator taking a much younger genuine college SB under his wings, so to speak. I would imagine buying a pair of Louboutins instead of purchasing books for college may become an issue then.”

    I gotcha. I guess that’s between the SB and the SD and what’s agreed upon. If paying her tuition is part of the agreement and she chooses to fly to Cancun with her friends and get a boob job, he would be well within his rights to be upset. I still think paying the tuition directly is the best option. That’s what I would request because having that kind of money lying around would be far too tempting for someone who is going through financial hardships.

  607. lil_tm says:

    @ Mr. P
    An easy way to deal with that situation would be for the SD to pay the tuition directly to the school so it does not get spent elsewhere. But that is for a specific purpose, so it’s a little different. :)

    Personally, I prefer to have the NSA option. That way, I can save it which is what I usually do anyway.

  608. Principium says:

    Just a quick addition to my previous comment:

    When I stated the age range of 60’s, I wasn’t being an ageist toward older SDs, but trying to convey the scenario under which an SD is truly a mentor and a motivator taking a much younger genuine college SB under his wings, so to speak. I would imagine buying a pair of Louboutins instead of purchasing books for college may become an issue then.

  609. lil_tm says:

    @FB Whether it is a dominance issue or an issue of insecurity(and they kind of overlap in most cases), he is married. I’m assuming she knows this and, imo, has every right to have a boyfriend. If he wants to be with her only, he needs to leave his wife and make a commitment with her. Until that day, he has no right to say who she can and cannot date.

  610. Principium says:

    @ lil_tm:

    Just playing the devil’s advocate a bit 😉 One area I see an issue with this is when the allowance is predicated on some school & college tuition assistance, yet the allowance gets disbursed for other expenses or lifestyle. I can see a scenario whereby an older SD, say in his 60’s can become intrusive or controlling as you put it. Of course the best policy is to make the allowance an NSA issue too, but I suppose that some people just like to be strung 😉

  611. FatBastardSD says:

    @lil_tm

    I will throw this out there and if I am wrong then SportsFanSD can correct me. It has nothing to do with the allowance. SportsFanSD is concerned that his SB asking about a BF shows she does not have the level of interest in him that he though or desires.

    It might be a male dominance issue, but from the tone of the post I would say otherwise.

  612. lil_tm says:

    @Rosie-I’ve never been involved with a married SD either. I’m not sure how I would react to that as I’ve never been in that situation, but I do not think it is fair for a married man to ask a women he is dating to see only him. That’s selfish.

    I suppose if the SD told me the spice was gone from his marriage and he was with his wife because of his children, it would be the only exception to opening that door. I understand that relationships sometimes lose their magic and people stay together and coexist for obvious reasons.

    But in sugar dating nor in regular dating, I would not be controlled financially or emotionally.

  613. Rosie says:

    Agree, lil_tm. But I also feel if the SD wants his SB to not have a BF, he should state that too. I mean, he can make it worth it her while not to date anyone else. I guess I can’t really speak to how one would feel dating a married SD asking for exclusivity. My SDs were single and all wanted exclusivity. I gave it to them. But they also took very good care of me in return.

  614. lil_tm says:

    I don’t feel the SD should have any say in how his baby uses the allowance he gives her.
    Not only is it controlling, but how I choose to use my resources should be entirely up to me. I wouldn’t tell my SD how he should or should not do things and I expect the same in return. Isn’t the freedom a huge part of the appeal of this sort of arrangement? When you start making silly rules, it takes away from what is so great about it all.

  615. Rosie says:

    “@Rosie When my daughter use to tell her friends in HS that she wanted a guy that would take her out and buy her presents and have a really good job and take her on trips and stuff, and how she didn’t want to work when she got married she just wanted to have children and volunteer and take care of her house and hubby, the girls use to call her a gold digger. You know what she use to say? She proclaim loudly, I’M NOT A GOLD DIGGER!! I WANT TO BE A HOUSEWIFE!!” -SouthernSB

    Good for her for standing up for herself. There isn’t anything wrong with being a housewife. And there isn’t anything wrong with desiring to have a husband with the financial means who can support what you like/want in life.

    Being a housewife was the last thing I ever wanted to be, but I never looked down on my friends who wanted that. Funny thing though is that I know some people look down on me for dating a wealthy man – even though I make my own money and take care of my own bills. I will always work and will always make my own money, but because my boyfriend is 15 years older (and wealthy) people will probably always label me as a gold digger. Oh well. Society will always judge no matter what. Damn if you do and damn if you don’t, right? C’est la vie!

  616. Spicey says:

    SportsFan – look at it in reverse, your SB falls in love with you, sees you as her sole emotional support and then realizes that if you “accidentally” got caught or she “accidentally” got pregnant you would be all hers. Think of the tumult that would cause.

    Then ask yourself, can you really give a woman all the time and attention she wants in return for exclusivity, in order to prevent any “accidents”?

    The occasional silly boyfriend on the side may help you keep what you want, and for longer.

  617. Rosie says:

    @@SDsportsfan

    Find another SB and let it be known from the beginning you want exclusivity. Seems hardly fair since you are married, but some SBs will abide to this and be okay with it. I could be wrong, but I feel most (not all) married SDs are seeking more of a ‘mistress type’ arrangement and not a wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am quickie. Don’t married SDs get into arrangements in the first place because they have no desire or plans to leave their marriage, but they want something on the side they are lacking? Whether it’s emotional or physical or both? That’s the beauty of ARRANGEMENTS. You write the rules and set boundaries as they work for YOU. You want exclusivity, say it and seek it.

  618. Spicey says:

    FB – Would you consider me a feminist? Do I appear to object to being sexualized by men? It’s only in the most limited (and purely academic form) where the two can’t coexist.

  619. FatBastardSD says:

    @Spicey

    I have no doubt that most feminists preach the appreciation of the female form. The only problem they have is when a man finds the female form sexually arousing.

  620. Spicey says:

    But, you’re right about Dworkin – outside of her writings on women and violence she can be a bit of a Cee U Next Tuesday.

  621. Spicey says:

    FB – Clearly you have only had very limited exposure to modern feminism. Within the schools of Radical Cultural, Radical Libertarian, and Fifth Wave (what I call Martha Stewart) feminism there is room for appreciation of all forms of the feminine erotique.

    Of course, being selfish in bed is never acceptable.

  622. FatBastardSD says:

    @Spicey

    A guy who wants a pretty wife with a nice rack is labeled as a misogynist responsible for all the evil in the world by the same feminists you cite in your post about prostitution.

  623. FatBastardSD says:

    @SDsportsfan

    SouthernSB has a very valid point of view. Sometimes the SB’s on this site really surprise me with the honest advise they give.

    Your SB wants more emotional commitment than you are willing to give, and is looking to find that in a BF (which she will do weather you want her to or not). She can now choose a BF based only on how “sexy/hot/etc.” he is thanks to you providing her with financial support and stability. Her “sexy/hot/etc.” BF will get her juices running and you will become her ATM. You do not stand a chance.

    Another possibility is that she already has a BF, sees you as an ATM and is just testing the waters about telling you. In this case you have misjudged her feelings for you.

    Now there is nothing wrong with her seeing you as an ATM machine if you are willing to see her as a sex toy, but from your post that does not seem to be the case.

    I think SouthernSB is right. Leave your wife for your SB or find a new SB right now.

  624. Spicey says:

    @Southern – I think it’s so funny that we damn women as “gold diggers” but a man who says he wants a beautiful wife with a nice rack is just considered a guy. It’s superficial either way, just as its superficial to judge people for what they want out of a relationship.

  625. SouthernSB says:

    London Girl and Spicey-You are both right. It’s apples and oranges. You can’t compare Amsterdam where prostitution is legal to the US where prostitution is illegal and completely underground. In Amsterdam prostitution pretty much is a choice and women can do it for financial reasons and make a whole lot of money doing it. In the US women are mostly forced into it, by their circumstances and for the most part don’t make a lot of money at it. Comparing prostitution in Amsterdam to prostitution in America is like comparing St. Barts to Antarctica.

  626. SouthernSB says:

    @Rosie
    When my daughter use to tell her friends in HS that she wanted a guy that would take her out and buy her presents and have a really good job and take her on trips and stuff, and how she didn’t want to work when she got married she just wanted to have children and volunteer and take care of her house and hubby, the girls use to call her a gold digger. You know what she use to say? She proclaim loudly, I’M NOT A GOLD DIGGER!! I WANT TO BE A HOUSEWIFE!!

  627. SouthernSB says:

    @SDsportsfan
    Your situation is sort of par for the course when you date women in their 20’s. Although I understand your side of it, I wouldn’t want my money going to some loser boyfriend either if I was a SD, you have to see her side too. She’s in her 20’s, she probably wants to get date, get married and have babies, and is starting (subconciously) to work at getting that accomplished.,In my opinion, you have three choices, you can leave your wife and start a real relationship with your SB, you can stay with your current SB and accept the fact that she might get a boyfriend and might leave you for him or you could get a new SB. If you get a new SB I might suggest you get one that is older and perhaps divorced as she has already had a husband and probably doesn’t want to get married again and might not even want a boyfriend, but would be perfectly happy to be your one and only SB.

  628. Jersey Darling says:

    So you’re saying that I’m casting aspersions on escorts (which I never have by the way)…

    Now you are implying that I’m casting aspersions on everyone on the site…

    Are you implying that I’m saying that everyone on the site is an escort? Do you see how you are once again projecting?

    The problem is precisely that your knowledge comes from links and not real world experience, which, coupled with your lack of being able to read my points objectively, is why I really have no interest in continuing the conversation.

    In fact, one of your quotes precisely proves my point: “They demand decriminalization and destigmatization, because laws against prostitution discriminate against women’s ability to make their own choices.”

    Precisely. I’d say it should be legalized so that if a woman chooses to make that choice, she can do it as safely as possible.

    And with that being said, back to the real world I go…

  629. Spicey says:

    Well then also Jersey, by saying that you can continue to have the luxury of casting insensitive and judgemental aspersions toward everyone on this site who isn’t you.

    It took me about three seconds to find the facts you’re looking for:

    In most countries, prostitution — exchanging money for sex among adults — is legal. It is illegal in only a few countries — in the United States (except for ten counties in the state of Nevada), India, Argentina, some Muslim and Communist countries. The reason it is legal is the general attitude that prostitution does no harm, has no victims, and is sex among consenting adults.

    Not a Victimless Crime

    Melissa Farley, PhD of Prostitution Research & Education, argues that prostitution is hardly a victimless crime. In her “Prostitution: Fact sheet on Human Rights Violations” Farley says that prostitution is sexual harassment, rape, battering, verbal abuse, domestic violence, a racist practice, a violation of human rights, childhood sexual abuse, a consequence of male domination of women and a means of maintaining male domination of women.
    “All prostitution causes harm to women,” Farley writes. “Whether it is being sold by one’s family to a brothel, or whether it is being sexually abused in one’s family, running away from home, and then being pimped by one’s boyfriend, or whether one is in college and needs to pay for next semester’s tuition and one works at a strip club behind glass where men never actually touch you – all these forms of prostitution hurt the women in it.”

    Prostitutes Are Biggest Victims

    To believe prostitution has no victims, one must ignore these statistics published in Farley’s Fact Sheet:
    78 percent of 55 women who sought help from the Council for Prostitution Alternatives in 1991 reported being raped an average of 16 times a year by pimps, and were raped 33 times a year by johns.
    62 percent reported having been raped in prostitution.
    73 percent reported having experienced physical assault in prostitution.
    72 percent were currently or formerly homeless.
    92 percent stated that they wanted to escape prostitution immediately.
    83 percent of prostitutes are victims of assault with a weapon.
    75 percent of women in escort prostitution had attempted suicide.
    67 percent meet diagnostic criteria for posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
    Prevalence of Incest

    In short, the victims of prostitution are mostly the prostitutes themselves. It just may be that they no longer have the ability left to “consent” to be a willing participant in their so-called victimless crime.
    Estimates of the prevalence of incest among prostitutes range from 65 percent to 90 percent. The Council for Prostitution Alternatives, Portland, Oregon Annual Report in 1991 found that: 85 percent of their prostitute clients reported history of sexual abuse in childhood while 70 percent reported incest.

    Self Determination?

    As feminist Andrea Dworkin has written: “Incest is boot camp. Incest is where you send the girl to learn how to do it. So you don’t, obviously, have to send her anywhere, she’s already there and she’s has nowhere else to go. She’s trained.”
    But not all feminist back prostitution laws. Some believe prostitution is an act of self-determination. They demand decriminalization and destigmatization, because laws against prostitution discriminate against women’s ability to make their own choices.

  630. Jersey Darling says:

    As a victim’s advocate, one would figure you’d want prostitution legalized so the girls who are victimized can seek refuge instead of having to hide in the shadows without the legal recourse that other women have.

    Anyway, I’d prefer – in my own curiosity – to read links based on studies than banter with someone who clearly has no experience in the topic. Reading uninformed opinion presented as fact wears at me at best and grates at me a worst.

  631. London girl says:

    @Spicey, I grew up next door to the red light district in Amsterdam, to get to school I had to walk through it so I think I probably have a fairly comprehensive understanding of prostitution and what it entails. I think I certainly have a fuller understanding of it than virtually anyone else who hasn’t actively engaged in it.

    Setting aside the issue of trafficking for the moment, the majority of prostitutes have made the choice to enter that profession, whether it be temporarily or permanently, mostly this choice is financial. There are very few if any professions where an unskilled worker can make the amounts of money that a prostitute can.

    They may well feel trapped, but unless they are actually and literally being kept against their will it is a self-imposed feeling. I felt trapped in my previous job, I hated every minute of it and would literally be almost in tears on my way into work in the morning as well as drinking far too much every evening, the reason I didn’t leave it was purely financial, I was earning a small fortune and had become used to the lifestyle that provided. It was however a choice that I made at that time to continue with something I hated.

    I chose to do the job that I did because that was the highest paying option at that time, I would probably have been far happier doing something that paid a quarter of what I was making then but then I wouldn’t have my flat, my wardrobe or my taste for expensive restaurants.

    The women you’re referring to have a choice, they can leave prostitution and get a regular job along with a regular paycheck, for some this is an option they choose to live with, for others they may choose to continue doing a job they don’t love for the financial rewards that follow. Either way as I said before, unless they are literally being forced against their will, it is a choice.

    Trafficking isn’t purely for prostitution purposes, here in the UK recently we’ve had cases of adult men who were mentally ill being trafficked as construction workers, farm hands etc. I’m sure that probably also applies in the USA as much as here. Many domestic workers in the UK have also been found to have been kept in slave like conditions.

  632. Spicey says:

    Are they often drug addicts? Yes. But the AMA classifies substance abuse as a mental illness. Typically I have sympathy for the mentally ill, especially considering how difficult it is to get into affordable drug treatment programs in the U.S.A. To help one heal and recover.

    To liken that existence to a girl who enjoys her SD but only seems him occasionally and when he does he gives her a little cash is disrespectful to both sides, and judgemental.

  633. Spicey says:

    Actually ladies – in college I spent six months interning as a victim’s advocate on an inner city police force. Salt Lake crime is very mild compared to what others might see, but it changed my perspective on sex work and set off a lifetime of curiosity on the topic.

    My experience in meeting with these women is far from what you’re saying or seeing on “Pretty Woman.” Even the ones who were picked up in stings and doing relatively well financially by general standards had been traumatized before and during the experience in a number of ways.

    The “rare” case of trafficking: I went to a home where six Mexican women were kept locked in a windowless bathroom then sent out on calls arranged through what appeared to be a reputable “escort” site. One woman had a rotting tooth removed by her pimp’s friend.

    Even the ones in the field “by choice” when they were picked up on calls and asked why they didn’t find another route felt completely trapped by the cycle they found themselves in and often could see no way out, because of the way society carelessly viewed them as “drug addicted sluts who had made this choice.”

  634. London girl says:

    @Spicey, I don’t think you’ll find many escorts/prostitutes/call girls that f**k for food, the street walkers are usually f**king for drugs, the escorts are generally f**king for quite a lot of money, if they were doing it for food then they would do just enough to live from and no more.

    I have every sympathy for anyone who is forced into any situation against their will, however as many recent studies have show, the instance of trafficking or forced prostitution in countries such as the USA and the US are extremely rare, the vast majority of prostitutes have made a choice to do so.

    So why should I feel sympathy for someone who has made a conscious decision to follow a certain path? ut whilst I don’t feel sympathy for them, I also don’t look down on them. by your vociferous “defence” of them you seem to be indicating that the very act of being a prostitute is so heinous that they deserve our sympathy…

  635. Jersey Darling says:

    Spicey, let me ask you something…

    Have you ever been an escort? If not then I advise you not to profess you know so much about a topic in which you have no experience. It looks like you are repeatedly trying to justify yourself and it gets tiring.

  636. Spicey says:

    My whole point, ladies and gentlemen is that a woman who f*cks for food is worthy of our generous sympathy, not our scorn and judgement from the cushy platform of Internet anonymity where we can cast aspersions without knowledge of their consequence.

    And Capitol P – you know as well as I, that the vast majority of women who sell their bodies are living in dire circumstances, not lavish circles.

  637. London girl says:

    Generally I’d agree with Principium that being a sb is more likely to lead to entering escorting than leaving it. In much the same way that someone with a serious drug problem is unlikely to have their first experience with drugs be heroin or crack-cocaine, an escort is unlikely to start their career by outright charging for sex, she is more than likely to dip her toes into the water through something like SA or working in a lapdance club.

    The issue with any “gateway” experience is that it normalises more extremes of behaviour whether they be taking drugs, selling sex or throwing yourself off high bridges for the adrenaline rush.

    As each step is taken and you are amongst other people who are doing much the same, it also becomes more normal to take the next step and so on.

    There is a big difference between being a sb and an escort, this is blindingly obvious to most people and those who try to equalise the two are being disingenuous, by normalising play for pay and putting it on the same footing you are essentially highlighting the steps along the path to a fulltime career as a prostitute.

    Many of the sb’s who contribute to this blog will admit that they don’t have any attraction to their sd whatsoever and that the only reason they are seeing him is for the money, the primary activity they engage in is sexual and for his pleasure and enjoyment. In fact just a few blogs ago there was lots of “banter” in how best to fake excitement and fool him into believing you were enjoying it.

    IMO this has then crossed the line from sb to something of a more professional nature. I don’t have any issues with prostitution whatsoever; I think it should be legalised and regulated. If a grown adult of her/his own free will decides that they want to sell their sexual services then that is their choice and should be their right.

    This is not the same as a sb/sd arrangement, that is- or should be- a relationship like any other, but with parameters and expectations pre-defined.
    .

  638. Principium says:

    For the record, I refuse to give up until she reaches an orgasm (but who’s keeping records?)

    @ Rosie: Unfathomable if a vestige of that percentile was not a part of the continuum which includes the P4P component of the SD/SB relationships.

    @ Nicey Pricey Spicey: You are incorrect in your assumption that escorts use sugar relationships as a springboard to leave the escorting “lifestyle”. In fact, I am very confident that sugar relationships have springboarded some women into becoming escorts and it drives more men to seeking escorts. The reason being that seeking escorts is much more effortless and more economical for men who seek that lifestyle ($125 quickies are very common for Back page type escorts with almost zero to inconsequential screening protocols) plus it provides the array of variety of what those men seek (both in terms of quantity of easily available women and their offered menu of services)

    Most escorts (specially the ones who call themselves “providers” meaning that they either have a website or constantly advertise on a multitude of escorting sites) make far more than what sugar babies ever are remunerated for their sugar relationships. Their income vs the sugar allowance difference can be quite significant. If anything the UTR kind of escorts (Under The Radar, meaning that they do not advertise and rely on repeat regulars & referrals) only dabble in sugar to pad up their income during their providing down time.

    The top escorts in the U.S. according to T E R (website), command 2K per hour with a minimum booking requirement of 2 hours or more if providing an outcall service. I have seen SB profiles on SA who look far better than the aforementioned. The real money is for those who serve as potential “porta potties” to the wealthy sheikhs in places like Dubai in the Emirates (quite a fascinating new trend these days)

  639. DianaSBinOC says:

    OOh sudsy fun on the blog?? Yah!! I like bubbles:) hehe

    @FatBastard – I’m always trying to miss YOUR point. Keep that thing away from me! lol

    Ohh orgams giving. See something to draw the SB in and keep her happy. Toys are an added bonus:)

  640. Rosie says:

    @FatBastard

    Let me guess. A golden shower, or um, an “R. Kelly”…? Wait. Don’t answer that. I’d rather not know.

    Seriously though, do you really refuse to give orgasms? I must have missed this conversation, but it has come up a lot on the last two blog topics.

  641. FatBastardSD says:

    @Rosie

    That’s really nice. Easy access. I have this fetish you see. I pretend I am contaminated and you have to give me a body wash. I will let your imagination run wild in terms of how I like to be “washed”.

  642. Rosie says:

    “@Rosie Don’t worry babe, I’m here. We can finally talk in private. So…what are you wearing?” -FatBastardSB

    A crotchless Hazmat suit in your favorite color. 😉

  643. FatBastardSD says:

    @Rosie

    Don’t worry babe, I’m here. We can finally talk in private. So…what are you wearing?

  644. FatBastardSD says:

    @DianaSBinOC

    I think you missed my point:

    Regular Dating —–> Arrangement
    One night Stand —–> P4P

    Does the arrangement always involve attraction (not in the case of these horrible SD’s who refuse to give orgasms).

    And let’s not forget the P4P aftermath where the SD offers you a pair of Nike sneakers (factory seconds naturally) or the SB’s pimp shows up demanding mo money.

  645. DianaSBinOC says:

    @FattBastard-

    “Interesting, so people never have one night stands or hook up with strangers without sugar (I do realize that SA SB’s only have sex with male models IRL though). Casual sex and one night stands have the corresponding P4P situation on the SA site.”

    One big major point.. There isn’t a P= Pay part about it. There is also attraction or huge amounts of liquor involved. Let’s not forget the aftermath of realizing the 10 you took home was actually a -14 when you woke up.

    Iguana Protocol Activate! **arm detaches for a fast getaway**

  646. Rosie says:

    It figures. The one night I’m free to be on the blog, it’s slower than an octagenarian with ankle weights. BLAH. 😛

  647. Rosie says:

    I don’t think a genuine SD would ever, ever like to think (or admit) that he is/was paying for sex. By “genuine SD”, I mean a wealthy gentleman who really wants to help a younger woman with whom he’s in a relationship with (whether it’s an arrangement or she’s a mistress…or whatever).

  648. Rosie says:

    I think if you are paid for sex, then yes, it IS prostitution. I’m sure that happens on SA. My personal experiences were what I would consider intimate relationships with mentoring, sugaring, sex – just like traditional relationships only with the added desired outcome for the relationship to eventually expire. Not prostitution at all.

  649. Jersey Darling says:

    @Rosie – depends if you consider paying for sex on SA prostitution :mrgreen:

  650. Rosie says:

    So interesting! I’m a research fanatic, Principium, so I love this stuff. This was an interesting bit from one of her papers: ” Using the nationally representative General Social Survey (GSS), this study demonstrates that prostitution seeking is relatively uncommon. Only about 14% of men in the United States report having ever paid for sex.”

    I’m curious if SDs on SA were included in this survey?

  651. Principium says:

    I mean this in the most endearing way (well, I really don’t) but there is a lot of nauseating talk and opinion in here about the subject of prostitution,so if interested in edumacating yourselves more, take the time and read the research and the essays from a person who is considered as a preeminent researcher on this subject:

    [img]http://sexandlifecoaching.com/site/sex-research/[/img]

    Now, stop this nonsense and bring over videos to my house. I want my dinner and want to watch a movie or two with you!

    P~

  652. Spicey says:

    Fatty, you and I both know you dine all night. I’ve mentioned before: one who enjoys the pleasures of food and flesh will of course want to enjoy the very best of desserts.

  653. FatBastardSD says:

    @Spicey

    I don’t know, you paying me would probably imply that you require some level of pleasure and I really don’t do that sort of thing.

    I am a nice guy and would be happy to give you a few free sessions until we establish some chemistry.

  654. FatBastardSD says:

    @flyr

    What’s with this obsession about giving a SB orgasm on this site. I let my SB surf the web or watch videos on my tablet when her hands are not occupied.

  655. Spicey says:

    True Fatty – SA gets to refuse service to anyone. And, any user gets to hit “block” on any offer of sex for money that offends them. If I offer you money to have sex with me will you be offended?

    But I’m not talking about the SA Terms of Service and we both know that.

  656. Rosie says:

    Finally finished catching up on the blog. I have nothing else to contribute really. There are so many shades of gray on what everyone has shared. I agree a little with some, a lot with others, disagree slightly with some in certain areas and feel indifferent about a few other topics/opinions/discussions.

    I guess for the most part, I feel there is no right or wrong with SA relationships. It’s whatever works for each person. Just like IRL dating. There’s no set formula. We’ll never ever live free from labels, judgments, etc. (not in our lifetime) so it shouldn’t really matter as long as you are happy.

    But that’s boring and lacks controversy. I’m sure I sound like a broken record.

  657. FatBastardSD says:

    @DianaSBinOC

    “I also would never see this as “SA’s version of casual dating”. There’s nothing casual about someone throwing a few hundred on the bed for sex.”

    Interesting, so people never have one night stands or hook up with strangers without sugar (I do realize that SA SB’s only have sex with male models IRL though). Casual sex and one night stands have the corresponding P4P situation on the SA site.

    @ Spicey

    “If a woman who traditionally escorts (or even hooks) wants to use SA as a springboard to leave the lifestyle, who the f*ck are you in your privileged ivory tower of cyberelitism to judge her?”

    The SA has every right to decide if they want to prohibit escorts. I can have my own opinion but I don’t run the SA business. Anyone who disagrees is welcome to create and market their own website.

    For what it’s worth I would take an escort any day over SB’s who offer “friendship” for an allowance.

  658. Rosie says:

    “When my SDs in the past have made me feel comfortable then they get everything. From real name to even my home address.” -DianaSB

    That was exactly my approach as well! Never once presented a problem.

  659. Rosie says:

    “…who the f*ck are you in your privileged ivory tower of cyberelitism to judge her?” -Spicey

    Quote of the week!

  660. Spicey says:

    I actually don’t advocate for the legalization of prostitution. I also don’t believe the sugar bowl in a P4P is prostitution, even when used by escorts.

    Seems contradictory, here’s where I stand.

    The Clearcut Case: For a vast majority of women who end up selling their bodies: on the streets, in the club, online and/or through a pimp. The decision isn’t a choice, it’s a consequence – often based on a lifetime of poverty, abuse, or a lack of any other marketable skill and education, social stigma surrounding trying to leave (what are you going to put for experience on that McDonald’s application and how are you going to feed your babies until you land work?) If you have no other choice you can’t consent, you’re a victim. In the case of these women, children, and young men our job is to protect them from being taken advantage of. In legalizing the field you open these victims up to greater predation. Without a stronger social support safety net like exists in Europe you can’t legalize in good conscience.

    Escorts: this case is trickier, so many of these women are trafficked or involved in fringe crime rings where prostitution is just one element. Prosecution helps lead to the trickier cases. In simplere Indie-escort cases I don’t value more than the current standard of misdemeanor charges, registry, and STD testing, and a fine (though now she’s got a record and a stigma for life) how does she ever go straight?

    How is SA P4P different? I’m so bored of this discussion I could stab my eyes out!

    It’s different because SA participants choose their clients/SDs/Johns based on profiles. (People keep saying SA is a numbers game, but my experience with ratios isn’t consistent with this. Yes, a lot of babies setup free profiles, but those same girls leave the bowl much faster). A woman on SA gets to decide who to contact and reply to, how to charge, and how the terms of the entire connection/transaction/experience works – they aren’t limited to the standard book, showup, pay, and f*ck of the escort booking service. If a woman who traditionally escorts (or even hooks) wants to use SA as a springboard to leave the lifestyle, who the f*ck are you in your privileged ivory tower of cyberelitism to judge her?

    You don’t know thing one about what she wants or why she wants it. Point those stones at your own glass house.

  661. Rosie says:

    Speaking of belittling>/i> and judging

    That is, unfortunately, the way of the world these days – no matter what. My boyfriend is 15 years older than me and just so happens to be wealthy. He wouldn’t dream of allowing me to pay for dinners or trips or anything. He offers his black amex to me for shopping and constantly shows up with surprises for me. If I weren’t already doing well on my own, I guarantee he would offer to pay my rent, bills or anything else I was struggling with. Not so different than a SD/SB arrangement really. EXCEPT we talk about and plan for a future together. Although there’s 15 years between us, he looks younger than his actual age so people can’t really see the age difference. If he didn’t, I guarantee I would be labeled a gold digger, gutterslut, whore…or insert any other derogatory term people love to place on attractive women who happen to be dating a wealthy man.

  662. Rosie says:

    “Have any of you ladies had the opportunity to date multiple SDs at a time? I’m not sure I could pull that off.” -lil_tm

    When I was in the Sugar Bowl, I only ever had one SD at a time. Mine were each fairly long-term (6 months shortest, 1.5 yrs longest) and only one was ever local. All others were long-distance and my time spent outside of those arrangements were focused on work and starting a business. I never had the desire or need for more than one SD so it was never the route I took.

  663. DianaSBinOC says:

    @flyr
    If you scream Oh George!!!!! in a moment of passion and he looks over his shoulder you probably don’t have he real name.

    Ha!!!

    Haha Spicey ” baby” fits well. I generally try to avoid using that word but I can see the benefit:).

  664. DianaSBinOC says:

    The real issues lie in how escorts are viewed by men that see them. Also how society views men and women differently. A man that sees an escort doesn’t get the same view as woman that is. Nor does a man that pays an escort get treated to the same legal ramifications if caught.

    Also let’s not forget the dangerous men that some may come in contact with. From batterers,rapists to murderers. They are targeted specifically because they sell sex which under the puritanical views of many makes them less than human.

    Escorts are very well aware of the dangers and benefits of what they do.
    They have all kinds of methods they have their clients go through before meeting them and still one or two bad apples may slip through the cracks. The point is many of the young women that come here don’t understand this and may easily fall prey to someone truly dangerous.

    I don’t think legalizing prostitution in the US will change anything. Even in the UK where selling sex isn’t a crime, women are still beaten, raped, robbed and murdered.

    Also they have no intention of legalizing something that produces a consistent cash flow being illegal. It wouldn’t even make sense.

  665. Spicey says:

    @Lo – it is rather quiet today.

    @Capitol P – the vacay was the last remnant of the old SD’s gifts and its been over a week. Although I have lovely Prada, Manolo’s, a couple eggshell blue boxes, naughty little Agent Provocateurs, and some great clothes to show for it, the sugar is all dried up. :(

    Time to go back to the universe where all my nicey little treats are paid for with a W-2. Damn I hate reality!

  666. Lo says:

    spicey, I respect the way you think girl. Now where are the other babies? Apparently they’ve fled the blog.

  667. Principium says:

    @ Ladies:

    Dracarys!

    I just don’t know if I should go watch Game of Thrones Eppy # 5 “Kissed by Fire”, or stayed glued on here to watch you two going at it.

    My love & affection is completely biased and for sale! So Ladies, What’s My Price?

    @ Nicey Pricey Spicey: Wanna share some of that vanishing SD’s loot with me? I can be a BFF (Bought Friend Forever)

    @ Jersey: You know you’re my gurl, but I’m also a manwh*re and I can be perfidious 😉

  668. Jersey Darling says:

    @ Spicey – how have I judged or belittled anyone? All I have done is categorize arrangements for what they are, and people choose to project whatever they want on that categorization. Just like people try to belittle me for settling for 1K a month. Who cares?

    Pay for play is by definition prostitution. Just read the words.

    I consider the legal perspective, and that’s how I define what I consider to be an escort. People can draw whatever conclusion they’d like from that. Some people find being an escort sexy – but that has nothing to do with the legal perception of it.

  669. Spicey says:

    Fly’r – she should always just say “Oh Baby, I love your big hard …” No chance of confusion! 😉

  670. Spicey says:

    Jersey – the insult is in the way you continue to belittle and judge other people’s experiences or arrangements simply because you see SA differently than most.

  671. flyr says:

    ““I don’t understand the logic behind the idea that if the SB cannot find out any information about the SD then this is a red flag. Do you really believe that a wealthy/successful SD cannot figure out how to hide their identity (or have someone do it for them)? If the SD is easily verified then chances are you are not going to be the only SB trying to close the deal.”

    I think it’s more a matter if you are poised to leap into sex you deserve to know who you are with. I think there is a point where the potential SB and SD should correct any “little white lies” to get relationship off to a good start.

    I would like to think that the woman I am having sex with would want to know who she is having sex if for nothing else than her pride.

    If you scream Oh George!!!!! in a moment of passion and he looks over his shoulder you probably don’t have he real name.

  672. SDsportsfan says:

    Hi everyone,
    I’m new to the blog but not new to SA or the SD/SB relationships. I have a question for all you SB’s and SD’s. I’m a married SD in my mid 40’s (in a sexless marriage!) seeing a gorgeous SB in her mid 20’s. we have great chemistry and connection etc and meet once a week. She’s happy to see me outside of the bedroom dates as well with dinners and short trips etc which is great. When I met her she didn’t have a boyfriend but now she’s talking about getting a boyfriend. What do you SD’s and SB’s think about an SB having a boyfriend as well as an SD? I don’t like the idea of my allowance being used for her to take out a loser of a boyfriend or am I being unreasonable? Why doesn’t she just get a rich boyfriend and kill 2 birds with one stone? It seems like she wants a long-term SD as well as a boyfriend. I’d have no problem getting another SB as I met 6-7 girls before deciding on this one and they all wanted an arrangement with me but I’d rather keep this one as its just not my style to jump around!! Any advice would be appreciated! Thanks!

  673. Jersey Darling says:

    @Spiceu “Regarding P4P – I get tired of women on this site tossing around insults of prostitution toward each other: pots and kettles and all that.”

    Assuming it is an insult is actually projecting your own opinion onto the term. I’m not saying being a prostitute is being good or bad, just like I didn’t say that not being able to find someone online shouldn’t be a red flag. I’m just categorizing it because the distinction exists.

    As an example, should I not call you a blonde because some would insist you are not because your hair is not platinum? No – I’m going with the common consensus.

    There’s nothing wrong with prostitution, I’m actually a big fan of it being legalized. But let’s not purposely be daft in ignoring the fact that MANY escorts use this site.

  674. DianaSBinOC says:

    Great Question lil_tm!
    Have any of you ladies had the opportunity to date multiple SDs at a time? I’m not sure I could pull that off. For one, being impeccable all the time is a lot of work and I do enjoy my days of just hanging around in sweats haha. Also, sleeping with a few men at a time would probably take a toll on me mentally. Catholic guilt at its finest!

    I’m the same way. I don’t think I can actually do it myself. Still it could possibly be loads of fun:)

  675. Lo says:

    honestly the humble computer geek/engineering nerd sitting in my inbox sounds reallll good right now….

  676. Lo says:

    Hi Diana,
    no the “stalker” is my main SD and he’s not the one who messaged me today. Yes that one could very well be seeking other sb’s or he’s that much of a stalker to log on just to keep tabs on me lol. Every time I signed on it would tell me that he just checked my profile. Oy vey…This one is the occasional SD that kinda seems all over the place anyway so I guess I’m not super surprised he wants to sample even if it irks me.

  677. DianaSBinOC says:

    @Lo –

    Wow is that the guy that is always checking your profile? I figured if he’s on the site looking at your profile he’s probably seeking more sugar babies himself.

    Haha I would so play with that one:) I agree try to get a higher offer :) hehe

  678. lil_tm says:

    I guess unless a verbal commitment is spoken, everyone has the freedom to do what they please.

    I had that happen to me once, Lo. Although he had every right to play the field, it stung a little. I guess it never feels good to know you’re not the only one and it also makes you wonder if what you’re providing is not enough. I don’t believe that’s always the case. Some people just desire versatility.

    Have any of you ladies had the opportunity to date multiple SDs at a time? I’m not sure I could pull that off. For one, being impeccable all the time is a lot of work and I do enjoy my days of just hanging around in sweats haha. Also, sleeping with a few men at a time would probably take a toll on me mentally. Catholic guilt at its finest!

    • Dovetail says:

      Being polyamorous, I have had multiple relationships in the past and do currently. I met M. in Janurary of 2014, and we are still together. Phoenix I met in February, and that lasted for a year. Storm I met in March, which ended in August of 2014 after he attempted to interfere with my work. Whisper I met March of 2015 and we are still together, though he took a hiatus for a short time to pursue another relationship that didn’t turn out. Persia I recently met, and though I enjoy his company the level of connection that I look for isn’t there. So as of right now, M. and I are coming up on our 2nd anniversary and Whisper and I just passed our 6 month.

  679. DianaSBinOC says:

    @Jersey, I personally wouldn’t consider any of those things to be a red flag, I can’t understand anyone who wouldn’t use a different email and phone number for something like this. And I certainly wouldn’t give a stranger my full name under any circumstances, first name basis until I was completely sure of them.

    I would generally agree if the majority of men here were in the normal mentally sane range. I have never used my real name or my real phone number. Just on that alone I have had 3 men that still try to contact me. They have been blocked but they call me every other week from blocked numbers.

    As we’ve all seen in the past some of the men do not take rejection well. You also have a few of the strange and dangerous stalker types that never give up.

    I had one guy say ” hey are you there?” ” hello? ” “hey whats up?” ” are you busy?” ” how about dinner at 5?” This guy was already told we’re not a match. He was sending me messages as if we didn’t even have that conversation.

    When my SDs in the past have made me feel comfortable then they get everything. From real name to even my home address.

  680. Lo says:

    HAHA that might be fun

  681. Spicey says:

    Oh Lo – you have to play that one out first! See if you can get him to offer the alternate you a higher allowance! Lol!

  682. Lo says:

    Also the benefits of P4P allow a SD to see multiple Sbs under the same allowance offer he may have given one.

    good point..

    something kind of ridiculous popped up in my inbox today. The SD I see on occasion who lives out of state sent me an introductory email today thinking I was another SB because I changed my picture. Wow just wow….might need to end this one since clearly he’s looking for new sbs lol…

  683. lil_tm says:

    Yea, I believe there are many different facets to this whole thing and much like regular dating, you have to find someone like minded who desires the same as you. That could be a quick romp in the sack, a deep friendship with benefits, a deep friendship without benefits, Skypeing, a real commitment, etc.

    Sugar mean different things to different people..that much is certain.

  684. DianaSBinOC says:

    “I think P4P gets a bad rep but to me P4P is the SA version of casual dating IRL. My interpretation (correct me if I am wrong) is that many SD’s want an immediate deep connection with a SB. Is this really realistic? Is it even important? P4P can be considered a trial arrangement where you really get to see how much chemistry there is while still offering a mutual beneficial arrangement. No reason why P4P cannot change into something else if both the SD and SB agree.”

    P4P gets a bad rap because of the johns that have arrived to the sugar bowl in great numbers . Seriously? Like you didn’t know this.

    P4P stands for PAY FOR PLAY. I’m almost certain they aren’t seeking a ballet performance. I also would never see this as “SA’s version of casual dating”. There’s nothing casual about someone throwing a few hundred on the bed for sex.

    SA didn’t create the term Pay for Play. Johns that came here did.

    Now there have also been the sugar babies that have gotten their allowance and disappeared so even the allowance only types have moved into the P4P dance. As with all things a few bad apples which probably now (majority of bad apples) have spoiled things for the rest.

    Also the benefits of P4P allow a SD to see multiple Sbs under the same allowance offer he may have given one. For the SB that has many commitments, this keeps a SD at a distance until the next monetary exchange.

    The money before meeting may very well be a scam. In other cases some sugar babies have been burnt by the fake males here so they have tried to adopt a show-me-the-sugar approach.

    I recall the first week I signed up and someone said ” how many meets can I get for that?” in a first message. I was literally speechless because it wasn’t something that had ever crossed my mind. Once I heard of a young sugar baby discussing the 10 times in one night sex drill and the $500 thrown at her as the “john” left the room, I started to understand what was happening.

  685. Spicey says:

    FB – there has never been another base biological pursuit so private, and so prone to judgement by those who are ignorant of the transaction.

    Back in the U.S.A.!!!

  686. FatBastardSD says:

    I have finally agreed with Spicey on something and yet I see no flying pigs outside of my window. My neighbors do see a naked fat man standing in front of his window though…

    If the SB or SD have no desire to talk before/during/after sex then something is wrong. You can talk and eat together in a hotel room as well. My thinking is that money can only pay for sex, for a connection both the SB and SD will have to work at it. That is why I suggested to WISD that he give it a chance in person, even if it requires meeting a few times in a hotel room.

  687. FatBastardSD says:

    @Spicey

    “Conservatives would call us all prostitutes…” and liberals would call all of us SD’s misogynistic.

    Funny when you consider how many conservatives have used prostitutes and liberals have mistresses though is it not?

  688. Spicey says:

    After a meeting anyone who can’t be verified on the Internet is a red flag to me. If someone is 100% absent online they’ve accomplished less than my eight year old nephew, or they’re hiding something (I.e. their true name and/or a wife they haven’t confessed to). Before a first meeting I am okay with not disclosing real ID’s. I certainly wouldn’t share or give my real name/cell number.

    Regarding P4P – I get tired of women on this site tossing around insults of prostitution toward each other: pots and kettles and all that. Conservatives would call us all prostitutes but we try to stratify into allowance, P4P, “connection” etc. it’s really just a silly way for us to label each other and pass judgement. If what you’re doing is safe and makes you feel powerful and happy, enjoy it, and don’t let anyone else define for you what it is or what it isn’t – they ain’t you.

    As for accepting P4P, it’s tricky. A strict show up in a hotel room and accept any amount of cash in exchange for sexual services wouldn’t make ME feel powerful or happy. Maybe someone else finds it sexy. I also have never experienced a man wanting intimacy from me and nothing else, in my experience men want to know more about me after sexy time. Great intimicacy naturally leads to a desire to get to know a person better, and vice versa. At most, I could only have mediocre (maybe not even that) sexy time with a stranger I didn’t get to know first and after.

    Regarding how gift$ are given I don’t much care about monthly vs. occasionally vs. by way of a trip to sun and sand. I’m not putting out until the cumulative total of displayed generosity is sexy so he can take his time and wait for satisfaction or speed the plow by being generous up front.

  689. London Girl says:

    If I found out they had assumed someone else’s identity it would be over, there isn’t a satisfactory explanation for that and it’s really creepy.

    Once you have “revealed” yourselves if you’ve decided to take things further then a smart girl should always verify, if you know who they are and where they work you should be able to find them on their company website, they will be findable on google. It’s virtually impossible not to leave a footprint on the internet so if they aren’t findable at all once you have their name etc then they probably aren’t who/what they say they are.

    Even the best liars will give themselves away with small discrepancies, no one should trust too much until they have verified.

  690. Jersey Darling says:

    I’m in the same boat London, so I personally don’t consider it a red flag. It’s more of a red flag if they try to assume someone else’s identity, which is what anyone who is smart and is trying to be deceptive would do.

  691. London Girl says:

    @Jersey, I personally wouldn’t consider any of those things to be a red flag, I can’t understand anyone who wouldn’t use a different email and phone number for something like this. And I certainly wouldn’t give a stranger my full name under any circumstances, first name basis until I was completely sure of them.

    Really any first meeting with anyone should be in a very public place, don’t leave your drink unattended and use your common sense. If you’re going to proceed with anything then obviously a further exchange of information is necessary but until that time I wouldn’t even consider it.

  692. FlyoverSD says:

    Hi all. This is the first time for me so be easy on my please :) I have read this blog for awhile and somethings resonate and some don’t of course. Jersey Darlings seems to be the type of girl that I am attracted to. I am currently in a great relationship and hope that I can continue until it runs it’s course. We can just enjoy it while it last and hopefully remain friends afterward.

  693. Jersey Darling says:

    Typically the only time you cannot find information on someone online is when they have given you a fake name, custom throwaway email for the purpose, and a phone number they got just for the site.

    Whether or not you want to consider that a red flag is up to you.

  694. lil_tm says:

    “I think P4P gets a bad rep but to me P4P is the SA version of casual dating IRL. My interpretation (correct me if I am wrong) is that many SD’s want an immediate deep connection with a SB. Is this really realistic? Is it even important? P4P can be considered a trial arrangement where you really get to see how much chemistry there is while still offering a mutual beneficial arrangement. No reason why P4P cannot change into something else if both the SD and SB agree.”

    The problem with P4P is that it opens the door for a cheap transaction. Not saying that’s not okay, but it’s not for me. And I don’t equate it to casual dating. I believe in the minds of (most)men, P4P doesn’t involve talking, dinner, having drinks, etc. It involves meeting at a hotel or the like and exchanging cash for play.

    “I don’t understand the logic behind the idea that if the SB cannot find out any information about the SD then this is a red flag. Do you really believe that a wealthy/successful SD cannot figure out how to hide their identity (or have someone do it for them)? If the SD is easily verified then chances are you are not going to be the only SB trying to close the deal.”

    With everything so easily accessible on the interwebs, it’s rare that I cannot find at least some information on a name or number or e-mail address of a person. Whethere it’s a job applicant, someone from a regular dating site, SA, etc. I’d say almost everyone has left some sort of track on the webs these days. :0)

  695. Jersey Darling says:

    @FatBastard,

    While I do think getting paid per meet blurs the line with P4P, there is still a distinction. In an arrangement, you may be paid per meet and in one of those meetings do nothing sexual at all. And if you think about it, that’s not much different than you suggesting to WISD that he take some of those P4P girls and dedicate some of the time to trying to form a connection instead of purely being about the sex.

    IMO, if the focus is purely on the sex, I don’t care if you are paid per meeting, month, or put on a yearly retainer, it is not a sugar daddy relationship – you are dealing with (or are yourself) a call girl with a small client list. You’re getting paid for sex. If you take a more holistic approach where you care about chemistry, spending time out of the bedroom, and sex may be part of it (don’t forget, some arrangements don’t involve sex!) – that’s when we’re talking about the stuff I consider SD/SB relationships.

    Me personally, I don’t like getting paid per meet. I take two approaches:

    1) Meet as many times as it takes to establish an allowance (usually, the man I meet will try to close at the end of the first date. I’m happy to wait as long as possible to have the discussion as it gives me more time to demonstrate my value and usually results in a more substantial offer). Then try things out for the month, sort of like a trial period but with enough time for us to actually get to know each other, where at the end of the month one of us wants to walk away there are no hurt feelings – it just wasn’t a match. If it’s a go, I prefer receiving my allowance monthly because it adds to that sense of stability that most women look for in a partner, and allows me to plan my expenses.

    2) Letting it evolve naturally. If I have a very strong connection with someone this is how I let things develop. I let him demonstrate his generosity to me and intimacy tends to evolve in lockstep. Communication is still key – you don’t want one person to feel unsatisfied. I typically end up using this approach with very wealthy SDs.

  696. FatBastardSD says:

    @Jersey Darling @WISD

    Perhaps I am confusing P4P with a per meet allowance. I don’t get what the difference between them would be.

  697. FatBastardSD says:

    @WISD

    If you find a lot of SB’s in NYC that you are happy with then perhaps Wisconsin is just a bad place for finding SB’s that you like.

    I do believe that certain areas are much harder to find a good match for SB or SD but if it is impossible to find anyone then you might be expecting things to happen too quickly.

    Have you tried meeting say 2-3 times to see what happens? If that one hour is yours to do with as you wish then use part of that time to show the SB that you are worth knowing. Non-arranged relationships are not set in stone, and neither are SB/SD relationships.

  698. Jersey Darling says:

    @WISD

    Unfortunately P4P is prevalent on this site and it’s not just limited to that age group. Being in the NY area myself, I used to get a lot of offers for that type of “arrangement” before I learned to target my profile to attract men who are looking for a connection.

    That said, it still doesn’t hurt to look in another area so at least you can compare the two!

  699. WISD says:

    @FBSD

    I am not looking for deep connection with SB on 1st date, but I want someone with who i can have conversation about something else beside intimacy..

    I am not comfortable with SB who wants to meet in hotel room for hour or so on 1st and all subsequent meetings. Also this comes with another condition that, time in hotel room is mine and I can use it whatever way i want to use it, after that no interaction beside discussing about next meeting, because they are really busy.

    Some are even asking for money before meeting because they are in financial distress or they want to make sure that I am genuine.

    I am fine with providing allowance per meeting which is little different from P4P.

  700. FatBastardSD says:

    @WISD

    Same approach here. If a SB insists on knowing more about me before we discuss the arrangement I always offer to exchange ID’s at the beginning of our first meet. No surprise that none have taken me up on my offer.

    @WISD @ALL

    I think P4P gets a bad rep but to me P4P is the SA version of casual dating IRL. My interpretation (correct me if I am wrong) is that many SD’s want an immediate deep connection with a SB. Is this really realistic? Is it even important? P4P can be considered a trial arrangement where you really get to see how much chemistry there is while still offering a mutual beneficial arrangement. No reason why P4P cannot change into something else if both the SD and SB agree.

    @SB’s

    I don’t understand the logic behind the idea that if the SB cannot find out any information about the SD then this is a red flag. Do you really believe that a wealthy/successful SD cannot figure out how to hide their identity (or have someone do it for them)? If the SD is easily verified then chances are you are not going to be the only SB trying to close the deal.

  701. WISD says:

    I had one potential SB who had insisted me to get verified before 1st meeting. when i asked her to do the same, she chickened out of it saying why should she submit her personal information to SA.

    I am done looking for SB’s in Wisconsin, most of SB’s are 18-21 yrs old in this area. It’s difficult for me to have any connection with SB in this age group because for most part they want p4p kind of arrangement or wants to treat me as ATM.

    I visit NYC every month for a week so I have started looking SB’s in NYC area, at least SA has lot of SB’s in age group of 22-30 from that area. I know finding SB takes some time but i have been trying for more than 6 months now(mainly in Wisconsin) .. so wish me luck girls/guys :-)

  702. Rosie says:

    My best experience on SA was prior to 2010. None verified.

  703. Frank says:

    OOhhh, AAhhh!!!

    I am close to blowing! Don’t you feel the steam arising?

  704. Spicey says:

    It is Sassy, though its my last night and I’m miserable sick today. It was beautiful, but I’m glad to be going home to sleep in my own bed tomorrow night.

  705. sassynsweet says:

    Spicey – is your avatar where you’re on vacation right now? That’s gorgeous, I’m jealous!

  706. Spicey says:

    I would say that even now I spend more time on business development, billing my time, meetings with clients, promotion and marketing than I do on actual writing. Novelists have to promote, compete, research, edit, and critique the work of others. There is no such thing as “just writing” – writing is the fun part.

  707. sassynsweet says:

    JerseyDarling – I do (and have, every single day, for as long as I can remember). But it would be such a dream to just be able to write and not worry about anything else.

    Spicey – I know and I do write quite a bit in a short period of time sometimes (though I prefer a typewriter). But I love writing for hours and hours and would love to be able to do that…

  708. Spicey says:

    Sassy – you don’t have to write for hours at a time. Download the Writing Spot app. you’ll be amazed at how much you can write and accomplish in just minutes a day!

  709. Jersey Darling says:

    @Sassy, if it’s a passion wouldn’t you make time for it like you would any other hobby?

  710. sassynsweet says:

    @Spicey – That’s what I thought, boo. *Pouts.* I’ve been writing since I could hold a quill (I was an anachronism as a child, and still am at times) but I’ve always been busy with other things, too. The luxury of getting to write every day, for hours and hours on end with no other commitments, is my ultimate wet dream. But I guess it really is just a castle in the sky…

  711. lil_tm says:

    Maybe I have just lucked out, but I don’t give my phone number until a e-mail is shared outside of the site. That opens the door to finding out the pots name because of his e-mail sig.

    Or..once a pot gives you their phone number, you can usually google it or slap it into the facebook search box and find out a little more info. :)

    In my experience, SDs are usually business owners and you can find some kind of info about them online. And that’s lucky for us.

    If it seems to be too much of a hassle to find any info on a pot, that’s a red flag IMO. And we need to be smart enough to use our resources to make sure we stay safe. :)

  712. Jersey Darling says:

    Wow – alright guys, I stand corrected. I could swear verification used to check income, but I pulled it up to get the definitive answer:

    Criminal Checks:
    Registered Sex Offenders
    Sex Crimes
    Violent Crimes
    Domestic Violence
    Felonious and Misdemeanor Assaults
    Other Checks

    Address Trace
    Social Security number Verification
    International wants and warrants

    Your Background verification icon lets other members know that you have passed your background verification against local, national criminal and sex offender databases. This verification also includes TC logiQ’s Proprietary archived Sex Offender databases.

    Also in contradiction to the article:
    “Does a Verification guarantee a person is safe to meet?

    SeekingArrangement and TC logiQ does not 100% guarantee a person’s integrity or character. Background verifications are a tool to assist in making an informed decision about a member. It is strongly encouraged that members conduct their own due diligence before meeting other members.”

    So no, you shouldn’t limit yourself to only verified members. You need to do your own verification/screening anyway.

    I really could have SWORN income was checked in the past – guess I was wrong! This makes verification useless to me.

  713. Jersey Darling says:

    @FatBastard – verification doesn’t check any of those things (I thought it checked age but apparently it doesn’t). IIRC (it’s been a while since I read about it) it checks criminal record and income/net worth.

  714. FatBastardSD says:

    @Principium

    I am down to check out the magic that Spicey can create as well.

    @All

    The first SB that I met off the site was verified. 12 years older than her profile, 15 year old pictures, and I tracked down her old escort pages. Still on the site. I understand that they have to push the verification for legal reasons though.

    If a POT SB wants to know my net worth, my income, or other personal details I have a my stock answer

    [\img]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K-jtOScxVGM&t=12s[\img]

    When we start an arrangement we will get to know more about each other than we really should (especially if we both want NSA). Until that time : NEED TO KNOW BASIS.

  715. Spicey says:

    Capitol P – of course I’m an alchemist. 😉 I’m also fortunate in that the sugar I want isn’t rent and car payments, so I have the luxury of getting slightly more extravagent gifts than the typical cash in an envelope SB – though we did have to fly coach. Pout! 😉

    Sweetnsassie – “@Spicey – Are you a full time writer? I’m in college right now, but want to be an author (novels). Any advice? Does your writing support you entirely (has it always?) or have you taken other jobs? Or did sugar support you starting out?”

    After college I worked in corp marketing (in the tech sphere) for years always writing, but mostly press releases, web content, and ad copy. About a year ago I started taking on contract work and the work has grown enough of base (though it’s a constant hussle) that I can live off independent work and key projects I’ve taken from my past employer. (I dont live off sugar). The novel has made a few bucks in small book fairs/shops locally. Next week when it comes out nationally we’ll see if it sells – but I don’t expect to live off the proceeds. My tip: writing is a muscle, to get good you have to do it every single day. Even if you don’t think you have something to say.

  716. Principium says:

    @ Nicey Pricey: I’m still thinking that you’re an alchemist and I’m bringing FB with me.

    @ London G: You know me homegurlll! I got the old country’s unshakable cynical DNA in me. It’s just a gift that keeps giving 😉

    @ Verification: I’m on PussyonthePedestal’s team. Although cases like what Jersey had said do indeed exist, I personally will not put my deets in the hand of some verification site for SA! Reason? If this site and it’s affiliates get the Feds looking up where the Sun don’t shine, the defense argument that “oh I was just acting out some fantasies” will not hold much water. But perhaps “someone hacked into my account” may still be in play.

    In a nutshell, if you are ONLY seeking verified members on an SD site, you’ve joined a tennis club only to be equipped with a badminton racket!

    @ DianaSB: If if someone truly was a Diamond Daddy a few years ago and is no longer, then he was probably Zirconium Diddy to start with. Why? Barring a major disaster in one’s life (sh*t happens, but even if so, then they shouldn’t even be on here) AFAIK, almost all asset classes, be it stocks, commodities, and even the turd of RE have increased in value and basically the truly rich got even richer.

  717. sassynsweet says:

    @Spicey – Are you a full time writer? I’m in college right now, but want to be an author (novels). Any advice? Does your writing support you entirely (has it always?) or have you taken other jobs? Or did sugar support you starting out?

  718. Jersey Darling says:

    Also, now that I’ve read the article, I do think it’s silly to insist that your pot get verified. Most on here are searching for discretion and the last thing they’d do is submit themselves to being verified.

    As always, your judgement is your best line of defense!

  719. Jersey Darling says:

    For what it’s worth, one of my best experiences on here was meeting someone verified. Not only was his income indeed accurate as I discovered the first time I visited his gorgeous penthouse suite in Manhattan, but he was highly googleable and well known.

    Best experience I’ve had meeting someone on this site by far.

  720. Jersey Darling says:

    Re: verification – For me, the point of verification isn’t to screen his convictions. It’s to check his income!

    It doesn’t guarantee he’ll be generous with it but it does at least mean he has it to begin with. By the way, Diamond members aren’t necessarily verified, it just means they paid more. I’d prefer verified to diamond any day…

    I do appreciate that many people may not wish to be verified. I don’t hold that against them. But if someone has been verified, they absolutely get my interest first.

  721. DianaSBinOC says:

    Good Morning Sugars!!

    Yah I made umm 20th I think lol.

    I agree with lil_TM that this is very much targeted at the brand new Sbs entering the bowl.

    I have yet to chat with the verified + diamond combination. Usually it’s been one or the other and frankly a few of the diamonds have long passed their expiration date of profile details. What I mean to say is, they may have been wealthy men when they originally signed up for SA and became qualified for diamond status. Now? They wouldn’t even fit splenda standards.

    Just looking right now shows about 919 profiles that have the verified status on the SD end. I did speak with one verified member about a week ago and his status alone did put me at ease.

    Also the verified feature is what one time fee of $25? That should be pennies to any SD. If I really felt this was a ploy to cash in, I would think it would be higher in price.

    I’m hoping an IM feature gets added to the site.

  722. lil_TM says:

    Thanks Spicey..I owe ya one. :))

  723. Spicey says:

    Ill_TM Gravatar dot com

  724. lil_TM says:

    I believe this type of blog is targeted at girls new to the sugar world. I recall feeling like I could use any help I could get at one point in time. :)

    That said..can someone point me in the right direction on how to get an avatar around here?? 😉

  725. Spicey says:

    Capitol P – the trip was paid for over a month ago, back when everything was sugar and Spicey and everything Nicey. There’s been no contact since the insinuation that a refund discussion might be forthcoming.

    English Rose – grew up in Utah so for me Mormons are everywhere!

  726. London Girl says:

    @Frank “If london doesnt post her photo soon I’m going to blow my top! And that will not be a pretty sight.”

    Promise?!?!

    Now I’m going to have to put into practice that “exquisite denial” I keep hearing about! I’d like regular updates on how close to blowing you are please and I promise I won’t let it go too far…

    @Principium, don’t be so cynical! As I type I am lying in the presidential suite of the George V in Paris being fed grapes by naked, muscular male models whilst having a pedicure and trying on diamond baubles before heading out to another private fitting at Chanel. A mere token of appreciation from one of my admirers… Surely this is normal?

  727. Principium says:

    @ Nicey Spicey: I want to wrap my head (both) around this vacay of yours:

    So you managed to create (finesse?) an enhanced sugar experience (paid Vacay with BFFs) out of a seemingly diminishing arrangement (complaining refund seeking SD)? Are you an alchemist?

    Next time, I’ll buy first row tickets to that kinda magic show and I’ll even bring FatBastard with me who quite fairly (if I may say so myself) called me a dishonorable thieving c*ckblock. Just luv that guy!

  728. Spicey says:

    Really?!? My girlies are off with Brazilian ad salesmen checking out the “ocean view” and I’m in my hotel room reading a manuscript with nobody on the blog to play with? #firstworlddrama #allsugarthingscometoanend