4 years ago
Brandon Wade & MissTravel on Anderson Live

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On SeekingArrangement, generosity is the standard. But in real life, are women so desensitized by cheap men, that a world where a man willingly pays for everything with no strings attached is unimaginable? MissTravel was recently featured on Anderson Live last week, with an interview with two MissTravel members and Founder & CEO, Brandon Wade. Based on the audience’s feedback, we were surprised out how Anderson’s viewers perceive MissTravel.

 

We are at a constant odds with the media- and therefore the general public- about the notion that generosity always has to come at a price. There is no such thing as a free lunch, or a free vacation. There is no middle ground to rest upon. You’re either doing what everyone else is doing, or you’re in the wrong. It’s the biggest misconception to place the suspicion of prostitution upon those who seek mutually beneficial relationships because of the perks that come along with it. Of course, a talk show will always search for the most controversial angle and it’s clear that by presenting them with the best case studies we could hope for, they are struggling to find fault. They start off by accusing Nya & Haley of prostitution, and then cursing them for failing to meet men serendipitously.

Just because you met through an online dating site, and not at the laundry mat doesn’t mean your relationship isn’t organic. It’s ridiculous to think that serendipity is the only authentic way to meet someone. I find that as a pitiful excuse, a justification for those who can’t afford to (or are unwilling to) pay for dinner at Chili’s, much less a destination date with a beautiful woman. I admit that destination dating is not for everyone, but just because it’s not in everyone’s budget doesn’t make it prostitution. Whether you’re cheap or generous, all men are aspiring to have sex at the end of the night. But there is a difference between aspiration and expectation [and reality].

No money is exchanged on MissTravel. These girls are not putting out for excursions, or compromising their values for room and board. They chose to go on a destination date, not as a way to make money, but a way to travel and date outside of their normal circles. If your only criticism is the fact that traveling with a woman is outside of your budget, and you are better off meeting someone in a laundry mat, there is a fault in your argument. The fact of the matter is that no one would choose to meet some one in a laundry mat over Paris if given the choice.

Do you think generosity is sometimes dismissed as prostitution?

What did you think of this segment?

Have you ever been a travel companion for a Sugar Daddy, or through MissTravel? What was your experience like?

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83 Responses to “Brandon Wade & MissTravel on Anderson Live”

  1. Queen says:

    In response to this interview, it is baffling that so many people think of the worst things that can happen first. Personal bias and stereotypes put this type of lifestyle on the “DO NOT” list. In reality though, what woman or man would not like another person to enjoy a weekend, week, or lifetime together. Granted there are very bad things that can happen, but what brings about the fear is the hype of the press. This over-exaggerated fear of meeting new people via internet has been blown out of proportion due to the actions of a small percentage of individuals that have committed violent acts against another person. Granted, when meeting someone new, you should take the necessary precautions, but being fearful that they intend to harm you right off the bat is a superficial insecurity.

    As to the other issue: Prostitution vs Free Trip…If you do not want to have sex, you DO NOT have to. Sex between two consenting adults is their business. If you feel that you are attracted to the other person, and you want to get it in, then so be it! That’s your business. If your fella leaves money on the night stand for you, what’s the difference between that and a husband giving you money to go shopping? Now on the other hand, if you are intentionally selling your privates, that is prostitution. But if you are selling yourself and the goods (less your privates) isn’t that more likely to be considered a working class type of social interaction?

    I have spoken with a lot of folks about this issue, but at the end of the day, the only difference is the label that is attached to the relationship. In a husband wife relationship, money is exchanged, unless they have separate bank accounts, bills, so on and so forth, the woman does not have to give it up to her husband if she does not want to, and there is usually more arguments. Most times in a SD/SB relationship, money is exchanged, they may or may not live their separate lives, they converse usually more often and more proactively than the typical husband and wife, and if things happen to end (if they do not end up marrying), the is not a lawyer that comes out ahead. Not to mention that there are many SD’s and SB’s that stay in contact after they end their relationship because they have made a good friend in the process.

    I for one am not fond of stereotypes, but if other people dare to hate on how we choose to live our lives, then my only comment is, “Evaluate your own situation before you dare to judge mine!”

  2. I LoveWestCoastGirl says:

    Stacy.
    I do not know what he thinks, or thought, or tried…
    if a person dishonest and lies a lot – how would you know what is on his mind.

    He did write to me he want to meet this weekend.
    I am not an actress , I think I am going to look at him with very different eyes. ?

    AnnaMW.
    of course chatting with other girls and have an active profile is not a big deal by itself.
    But of course a guy have a profile and chat with other girls – in order to meet new girls in person and make them offer.

  3. Punk says:

    My sugar man broke my trust the same way. He was the one who said all the similar things about “I only date one woman at a time”/ “I prefer monogamous”, “you are beautiful inside out”, “you are perfect for me”, “I am very busy/I have a lot to do…I can’t see you this week ” i have meetings out of town” ect…and then trying to push other women down to show why he prefer to stay with you only … Too many unnecessary lies I can’t remember all. He would say whatever he thinks he needed to say to make you feel closer and secure…. The next thing you found out that he has been seeing other women and probably doing the same thing with them as he did with you. :). Whenever I hear the men saying the same lines as he did… I laugh!!! You don’t want what some men did damage your mentality when come to other men… In reality, it is not easy to trust people. Let’s them prove that they are trustworthy and able to keep their ends up, not just in sugar relationship but in all other relationship then :).

  4. Stacy says:

    WestCoast – do you think he maybe writes all that in order to keep you monogamous? Or, maybe so that he doesn’t have to wear a condom and you’ll swallow? Just saying.

  5. I LoveWestCoastGirl says:

    Treasured.

    yes, may be this is the thing “he did not need to lie”.

    He is married, so our relationship was pretty defined , he can not be a BF or pot fiancé . He started to write “I need only one woman” … even before we met in person , and later brought up exclusivity topic.

  6. Treasured says:

    @ ILWCG ” it is hard to open your legs if you get cynical and do not trust a guy at all, we are human beings too, not robots (even it is NSA).” – EXACTLY. All SDs have to READ and MEMORISE.

    Sorry, you have to go through this. Exactly what I had to go through and it sucks. It is not the “in love” jealousy, just a broken trust. Especially, if the guy didn’t have to lie.

    I ran away from my SD when I found out.

  7. AnnaMW says:

    I am pretty honest and transparent, but would never let it shock me if an SD was not. I would be horrified if he lied about something like marital status or STDs and would be upset to find out that he was sleeping around or seeing escorts, but most other offenses are pretty forgivable. My standards for SDs differ greatly from the ones I have when I see a future. Small indiscretions (like having an active profile, or having intimate conversations with other women) seem forgivable and wouldn’t hurt the way it would in a RL relationship.

  8. flyr says:

    “If the sugar was NSA as you said, then both parties are free to do as they wish. Sounds like he lied to you but the question is why… Perhaps he told you what he thought you wanted to hear? Don’t give him a reason to lie to you. You could remind him it’s NSA and there is no need to lie about his actions.”

    My perception of NSA is that it does not constitute a permit to deceive.

    Perhaps I am a little hard nosed here. Even is small things . I would much rather an SB ( or others ) simply say they are late because they started late , not blame it on non existent traffic, etc. It puts unneccessary stress on the relationship if you have to run each comment through a vetting process. That does not preclude a little adjustment of age in the profile so long as the adjustment is noted early in the meetings. Same for sex….

  9. IloveWestCoastGirl says:

    Guru.

    He (not me) HE brought up the “exclusivity ” thing even before we slept for the first time. He wrote and said “I am a one gal man” “I will not sleep with anyone else” “I had one SB for more than 1 year till she moved away”. I did not believed 100% coz he is married and he is 49 y old , I assumed he might even still have sex with his wife. after we had sex he told me he is NOT going to renew his profile then it is expired and I told him i took mine down.
    Every time ! We meet he ‘d say “you are just perfect for me” ” I love your eyes, your hair color, your breast , the style of hair your have down there, your age, your office style outfit is sexy , how tight you are , exotic accent …do not change anything…” . Every time he would say all this stuff. I did not asked him, and did not expect him. I did expect my envelope , right. you do not need to “romance” me, u r a married guy. Before the first oral I told him he is welcome to give verbal “feed back” coz I do not know how he likes it ; he said “I have only one feedback – it was awesome “.
    One day we were having lunch in restaurant and he had to go for a business trip. And I told him that “it is totally OK with me if you will see other girls while u r on this 1 week trip”. he said he is going to be busy on business trip and do not want to see no one but only me.
    Last time we seen each other he was going for 4 days vacation – I told him again , if he would want to have sex, he can do it. seriously I said “i understand you are going to be on vacation with your guy friend, you r going to have plenty of free time ” . Not so directly and out of nowhere, but gently in conversation . he said he is letting his profile expired , he is not going to pay to renew it, he does not need no one but me, I am perfect for him.

    guru, I am 1 year on this site , I trust no one. :) (ok, may be only you and SDinLA) :)
    And actually what I LOVEd and why I choose him coz he wrote to me “I am sure you would have a relationship with me without sugar involved, but we both want to have our private lives and boundaries …. what is why my offer is….”
    I thought it is so smart (almost as smart as out blog SDs) :)

    Yes, my old profile accidentally served as a bait , if he did not write a note to it – I would not know he is up. and you know my extra profiles – 1-2 sentence , terrible small far away picture . any experienced SD would know it is not a profile :)

    Guess what … all this was at least 80% lie. some guys just like to lie. can not not to lie ; may be want to feel like a gentleman? see adoration in my eyes ;
    GuRU you think there MUST be a reason to lie ?
    I know some guys telling not truth and sincerely believe themselves in it, to feel good about themselves. ?
    I think he wants to have me and a few other girls, or try different girl every month, every a few months . how would I know ? the guy is in finance , they lie as they breath .
    of course a girl can hope and can hope she can trust the guy at least for 50% of the time, it is hard to open your legs if you get cynical and do not trust a guy at all, we are human beings too, not robots (even it is NSA).

    I should have check on him (write to his profile and see if he would take a bait ) right aways then we started to date, then I would not be surprised now. and would know if he is “a one gal man”.
    but nothing actually new we see here – people lie, and possible leave other people with no promised financial support.

    on other hand he knows I am NOT depend on him financially , so may be he can feel like his conscious is clean .?

  10. SD Guru says:

    @ILWCG
    “he did WRITE to my extra profile and that is how I saw his profile is up”

    Very interesting… so your extra profile also served as a bait to catch your SD looking?

    “since he knew I took off my profile and 8 days ago he told me again he has no interest to have paid profile”

    If the sugar was NSA as you said, then both parties are free to do as they wish. Sounds like he lied to you but the question is why… Perhaps he told you what he thought you wanted to hear? Don’t give him a reason to lie to you. You could remind him it’s NSA and there is no need to lie about his actions.

    ———————

    For the SB’s, have you asked your SD’s what they want for Christmas? Mine did! :mrgreen:

  11. AnnaMW says:

    @ Jack

    Why is your cap 3k? You are a wealthy man. If you met your self described “perfect woman” and that amount was below her comfort level, are you positive you wouldn’t be more flexible?

    I had a great time when I was in the bowl and met some amazing men. Some of those men were comfortable with my requirements, others werent, but it wasn’t up for negotiation. As you said, either party can always say NO if they are uncomfortable with the proposition. When you make six figures and are working towards larger goals it affects your perception of an appropriate allowance.

    I don’t think that 3k makes a guy a “cheapskate” by any means, but if a man is wealthy, very taken by a woman and her comfort zone exceeds your limit, would you be as inflexible as I was?

  12. JustATequilaSD says:

    @CaliSB
    If you still need help on the flowchart/pseudocode I may be able to get to it this weekend. The great thing about pseudocode is that the syntax doesn’t have to be perfect or exact. Let me know what part specifically you need help with if you still need it. Or maybe you can get one of Stacy’s ppl to write it for you if they wouldn’t mind.

  13. flyr says:

    @stacey “But flyr, if it’s a caution light, and she’s dependant upon her SD, or attached to him, she should take that caution light seriously,”

    I agree 100%. I think part of a real sugar relationship is that if it is terminated ‘for the convenience of the SD” that there is at least a month advance notice. I realize that there are a lot of folks out there who like to keep their partner off balance but I think part of being in a relationship is the opposite – assuming some responsibility for the stability of the arrangement. It’s part of the package.

  14. Stacy says:

    I think a perfect vacation in paradise is exactly what an excellent SB should be. Fun, relaxing, beautiful, with exceptional detail to your every whim. And, for that type of doting, one would expect to pay five star rates 😉

  15. IloveWestCoastGirl says:

    Stacy.
    Thank you for all your smart suggestions. I will let you guys know how it goes. I do not know when I will see him , or talk to him . ? may be next week (or may be never ). . O ! may be he is looking for a girl for me !:) to spice up MY sexual life and I am worrying :) kidding. I am not bi (may be it is unfortunate but I am not ).

  16. frank says:

    The key for me is that he told westcoast a direct lie, saying he had no need for a paid profile, while he had one and was writing other sb. I agree with stacy she should heed the caution light.

    Stacy-a sb as a Caribbean resort! I love the image, that’s how I like to envision my time with a sb, far away from the cares and responsibilites of real life!

  17. Stacy says:

    But flyr, if it’s a caution light, and she’s dependant upon her SD, or attached to him, she should take that caution light seriously, or find a replacement ASAP. Her SD could drop her with no warning, and no parting gift and leave her in a very difficult spot. One more reason a sugar girl should never truly be monogamous.

  18. flyr says:

    RE SD looking at other profiles

    SB’s If you stop and look at shoes in the window does that mean you are rejecting those your SD provided.

    The sd may just be window shopping for amusement. It may arouse concern on your part but is far from convincing evidence. Think of it as a caution light.

  19. Stacy says:

    WestCoastGirl – if he’s just shopping because he wants a little variety (and unless he’s been getting distant with you that’s what you should assume), mix it up – dramatically change your hair, new perfume, stop waxing – different!! Be less available next time he calls, go on to alt.com and find a cute girl to bring in the mix for a fun party – different! That’s what I mean by switch up your offering. Tease him, say no a little… in a playful way that makes him have to wotk a little harder. He’s probably just looking for the thrill of a new conquest, you can provide that, just get creative. But, number one rule of sugar dating: keep it light and easy, you’re a vacation! But, nobody wants to keep going to the same Caribbean paradise all the time, no matter how fantastic it is, they’ll eventually want to see the beaches of Cinque Terre.

  20. Jack says:

    Anna,

    After nearly a quarter-century working in the ER–not to mention reading the crazy news every day (my sympathies go out to the victims of the psycho shooter in Portland)–NOTHING weirds me out any more. I think especially on SA–where desires are ALL over the map–“weird” is almost to be expected. There is so much electronic ink spilled in these blog pages talking about this weirdo or that weirdo but really, at the end of the days, the weird ones are usually pretty easy to screen out.

    As to the specific “weird” scenario you cite, some SB’s misreading my blogging have transmuted my self-imposed $3000 allowance limit into some form of “cheapskating” (hey, that’s a cool word!) that is not that far away from the “making sure she isn’t just in it for the money” weirdism (another new word) that you cite. Personally, I do agree with you that it would be weird for a guy to be on this site and expect not to pay (guys always pay, whether on this site or in IRL relationships) but I do not think it is weird for a guy to want to hang out with an SB who “isn’t only in it for the money.” (and based on your blogging, it seems clear to me that you are one of those SB’s).

    At the end of the day, the beauty of being in a free country is that you can always say NO!

    Jack

  21. IloveWestCoastGirl says:

    Stacy.
    You are funny “you”ll need to switch up your offering in some way or find another SD”

    My offering – is … which way to switch it ? do you know what and how to switch my ” offering” ?

    to offer more in bed? Or what do you mean ? can you just believe my words that i offered him all offerings in my offer. :)

    He is married but has his own cute apartment (according to many statistics millions of women worldwide craving to have sex in that exactly building this year. :) ) where
    we meet.
    so that part was very fun for me.

    I always believe that “knowledge is a power” “informed means armed” so it is better to know your SD is shopping than not to know it and trust him 100% and think you are going to have that amount of $ next month.
    it is not only about honesty but about $ support girls are looking for at these sugar sites .
    And how many sexual partners a girl would want to have a year ?!!! I want to have as less as possible !

    AnnaMW.
    You think I sound emotionally invested only coz you do not know how I sound when I AM emotionally invested. :)

  22. AnnaMW says:

    You like that Guru? :)

    Thanks for the compliment Jack. Over emphasis on money, greedy women and complaints of being taken advantage of financially are as unattractive as a woman demanding cash for a platonic first meet or ranting about her asshole ex husband. Both parties come across as cheap.

    I’m still weirded out by the above mentioned scenario of a man expressing that he wants to make sure she isn’t just in it for the money. You would think that he would be a gentleman, keeping those concerns to himself and making up his mind through getting to know her.

    @WestCoast

    It sounds like you are pretty emotionally invested. Do you think you may be getting too attached?

  23. Stacy says:

    Don’t say anything about your SD’s shopping for girls. It doesn’t make you look sexy, and it won’t add value to your benefit to him. Either assume he was just curious and get over it, decide he wanted to dabble (but you’re the best so he’s not going to replace you ), or that he is looking and if you want to keep him you’ll need to switch up your offering in some way or find another SD. But, confessing to cyber stalking is a sure fire way to get yourself dumped before you’ve found a replacement.

  24. Phoneguy says:

    @Cali, it is what you make it. 😛

  25. Plus Size SB1095504 says:

    Oh, I forgot to comment on the post! Lol.

    I don’t consider this prostitution at all! This situation can occur in a “traditional” relationship! Besides, some SBs/SDs go without anything sexual for months! Be safe everyone!

  26. Plus Size SB1095504 says:

    I agree with California SB. The sugar world is much different. I’ve chatted with a few SDs in training in here, and they were definitely unaware of the differences.

    Phoneguy has a point. However, that’s what makes the suga world less complicated. First, one can weed out the liars without the mess. Second, this site is specific. So, if the sb or sb isn’t holding up to their part in the first few(2) meets, then it’s time to move on.

  27. California SB says:

    Phoneguy the sugar world is different than the regular world. You cant expect the same rules for regular dating on the sugat dating…..

  28. Phoneguy says:

    I’m not sure why everyone (besides Guru) is assuming nefarious motives behind ILWCG’s SD’s action but hers are fine. The actions are the same. Who knows what the motives behind each are.
    @ILWCG, Be honest. Bring it up with him.

    @Cali,
    The sugar world is no different than the regular world. Lots of liars in each…and some good, honest people.

  29. California SB says:

    Frank.. I would give her a two month allowance since you are leaving her.

  30. California SB says:

    Westcoast: no one is faithful in the sugar world. Just sayin’…

  31. Frank says:

    West Coast- Sounds like there is some deceit going around on his part. If so, you need to start screening other potential sd, in case he moves on. You might consider checking other sites, that is what my run away sb has done, she is on at least 3 other sites.

    brings up another topic, if you have been seeing a sb for a few months and you decide to move on, what if any parting gift should you give her?

  32. I LoveWestCoastGirl says:

    Treasuared , Madridista, AnnaMW, Frank and all girls/gus thank you a lot for your support.

    I do not worry about him too much coz he is a very nice guy, but it was strictly NSA for me (no romantic emotions, he is married so that was the easy part ). It was fun, and was nice to have extra cash.

    AnnaMW, yes, imagine he wanted to be exclusive ! (he was saying he is not sleeping with his wife, who knows the truth …) and told me he is off the site. that is why it is a bit a bitter thing.

    Madridista . Yes, it is completely understandable to be “seduce by site instant influx of new SBs”. All these new SDs – poor things .:) really. candy store boys.

    A SB can have a few extra profiles – it is free and they can be active if she has a public photo.

    As I understand a SD can not do that coz he must pay monthly fee for each profile to be able to write/read e mails.
    theoretically a guy can have a free profile and see who is on line but would not be able to communicate .

    His profile is active he is writing to other SBs :)
    since I have NOT my pictures on my profiles he did WRITE to my extra profile :) :) and that is how I saw his profile is up – I saw I got mail at the site and I check the profile and i saw it is exactly his October profile (he did not change text , no public pictures, but it is him).

    dear GURU. I am not getting upset (coz I pick married guys to be my SDs , I learn it hard way:) so sugar is NSA for me ) . But …:) (of course there must be “but” :) since he knew I took off my profile and 8 days ago he told me again he has no interest to have paid profile …and stuff…blah..blah.. would be nice of him to tell me “I moved on, if you need extra financial support do not count on me, get a new profile yourself”.

    or not… whatever… let him shop around , let’s see if he can find anyone better than me :) right:)
    let him have his new “Christmas present ” girl for himself. why not? he is paying he can have 3 Christmas present girls.

  33. Transgendered Emily from Massachusetts says:

    By the way, I think Anderson Cooper is over rated. The only reason he’s anything at all is because his mother’s a Vanderbilt. You know Peter Jennings was a high school drop out, but his father was a big, important person in the news media industry. Very often, your success in life is deternined by who your parents are and how much money they have. Who they know matters, too.
    When you think about it, he(Cooper)isn’t that attractive, and there are rumours out about his sexuality which would have ended any other male television personality’s career by now. Yet, he’s gone from being a host on a television news channel for high school students called Channel One back in the nineties to having his own ninety minute show on CNN and a daytime show. I heard somewhere that he was once a Calvin Klein model! Male models have to be at least six feet tall. I saw Anderson Cooper in person once while he was covering something in New York City and he’s only about 5’7. Again, who mommy and daddy are will definitely influence/determine what the outcome of your life will be.

    • California SB says:

      Trans Emily: If you work hard you can also be someone. I worked very hard to get my degrees and worked hard to get a good job. Im always taking technical courses to do my job better. Who my parents were didnt matter when I got my college degrees nor it didnt matter when I got a job offer. You can make your own future if you believe in yourself. Xo

    • Madridista says:

      Emily: Cali is right. Besides nepotism can only go so far. As for the height, you only have to be a certain height for runway shows. I’m short by model standards and did catalogue work in my teens and it didn’t matter since no one needs to be a certain height for that. Maybe it’s the same with some male models too?

      Have fun on your sugar date. It’s hard to tell what to expect. It depends on how much you screened him and where you’re going. It’s easy to get bogged down with advice here, just have fun and you can always end the date early if he’s a dud.

  34. SD Guru says:

    @AnnaMW
    “I like alpha types and they teeter on the verge of dickishness most of the time.”

    Word of the day: “dickishness”. 😛

    @ILWCG
    “Just saw my SD created a new profile on Dec.10th. I confess I tend to have 1-2 extra profiles and check on guys.”

    I hope you feel better soon! Perhaps your SD created a new profile for the same reason that you have extra profiles?

    “of course he told me he is looking for 1 girl, that he had 1 years relationship with his previous SB till she had to move to different city…”

    Do you believe him, and does it matter? A sugar relationship is supposed to be simple and fun, so if you’re getting upset over it then perhaps it’s no longer NSA.

  35. Transgendered Emily from Massachusetts says:

    I am about to go out on my first Sugar date and I am wondering what to expect. Can the other Sugar Babies on the site enlighten me?

  36. Frank says:

    You remember I had an unfortunate experience last week with a sb running off with an allowance. Filed a fraud complaint with sa 7 days ago, but she is still active on the site trolling for more victims.

  37. Frank says:

    West coast girl, your sd opening up an account may mean nothing, or may mean the 3 month itch is coming on. That’s when the newness is wearing off, and before the comfortable as an old shoe feeling starts.

    btw, weren’t you the one running a marathon last month?

  38. Frank says:

    Sweet to me is a mind set. Glass is half full sort of thing. When something doesn’t quite go as planned, you look for the positives and make best of it. Sweet can also be how you treat your sd/sb. I think that means mostly being nice to each other. At least that’s what i’m missing at home.

  39. Jack says:

    Stacy,

    I pretty much agree with Flyr’s definition of sweet. To me, sweet means “non-b*tch” and non-bitter about the past. I don’t mind so much hearing about someone’s negative past (we all have one) as long as it is obvious that her negative experiences do not color her CURRENT view of the world, and as long as she is not repeating the same mistakes of the past. Sweet would also mean to me minimal sense of entitlement, kindness to animals and humans (true kindness, not for show), and tolerance for views/behaviors of others different from ourselves.

    And Anna, you and I are definitely on the same wavelength. Loved your closing line:

    “Moral of the story – you’re not in a rush to get in my pants and I’m not in a rush to get in your wallet. Reciprocity. It’s what makes things work.”

    Jack

  40. California SB says:

    Stacy: I wrote a pseudocode in java I found it was a little easier than C++.

  41. AnnaMW says:

    @ West Coast

    That sucks… Did you both agree to not shop around or become involved with anyone else? If not, I would avoid mentioning it. Arrangements are generally designed to avoid having to answer questions over stuff like that. If he’s agreed to monogamy, you may want to give him the benefit of the doubt and assume that he’s just browsing. Try not to worry! Good luck!

  42. AnnaMW says:

    @ flyer

    Meanness is a deal killer for me too. I once had a date with a guy who was fun, good looking and successful. He was also young-ish and we had great chemistry. I was really excited and having a great time until he decided to scour the room looking for fat and ugly people to make fun of. I called him on it and managed to shame him without being abrasive, but there was NO way I would have gone out with him again. Yuck.

    I like alpha types and they teeter on the verge of dickishness most of the time. I don’t mind as long as they don’t get their jollies by putting people down or behaving in a superior manner.

  43. I LoveWestCoastGirl says:

    oh…

    Just saw my SD created a new profile on Dec.10th.
    I confess I tend to have 1-2 extra profiles and check on guys.
    We met in Oct. and I closed my profile. But I have my old profile, so I can log in and see if my guy is still up at SA or :) who is new in my area ….
    Last time we had sex was 8 days ago. :(
    Of course I can analyze it to death – what was wrong : the color of my lingerie :) , or I put on 2 pounds, or he felt I was getting attached to him (I am NOT, but who knows what he thought ).
    or he just likes to shop around ?
    of course he told me he is looking for 1 girl, that he had 1 years relationship with his previous SB till she had to move to different city…

    May be CaliSB is right and a SB has to have a few SDs for this scenario. :)
    Well…rejection (at any form) is never pleasant . I do not know if he will explain anything to me or will just stop to communicate .
    let me see.
    I am too busy with my life anyway to be upset about a SD; and I am sick and staying home (what is why I have time to blog ) and can not go on a date anyway.

    what do I do? create a new profile in my city again? f… All this initial screaning – is so time consuming !

    • Treasured says:

      Well, nothing new there. As I have said – SDs tend to get bored and once they tasted the “easy” way to get the girl, they never stop.

      Nothing wrong with you.

      Kiss

    • Madridista says:

      I’m sorry you’re feeling sick. Get well soon!

      The screening — it’s time consuming but worth it. Better find out who’s a dud during screening process than once you start an arrangement. You can probably use your old profile, just update some bits, if you want.

      Like Treasured said, nothing wrong with you. It’s so easy on the site for them to constantly look for something new, especially with less experienced SDs who get easily seduced by the site’s constant influx of new SBs.

  44. flyr says:

    to some “sweet” may have the connotation of submissive

    I think it is more about being real, considerate, not bitter about what happend in the distant past

    For those of us who are older (over 35) dating IRL we hear way too much about the injustices of the past, the former boyfriend, husband, boss, landlord, retailer, garage, parking attendant etc. We all have bad expreiences in our past but don’t bring them to a new relationship.

    A deal killer for me is someone who taunts or abuses the little people – waitresses, parking attendants, hotel staff etc when there is no real cause for upset or where the person is clearly not responsible. I don’t want to hear about how tough your life is or was, but rather your goals and strategy for the future.

    Let all your sexual hangups be wash and wear

  45. Stacy says:

    Question: what does “sweet” mean to an SD? I hear this phrase so often but don’t quite understand what it is to you, and it’s value.

  46. frank says:

    Her-You are just with me because I am young and pretty and sweet.

    Me-No sb, I love you for your personality

    Her-well I am going to get fat and mean to make sure.

    Me-bye bye!

  47. Stacy says:

    CaliSB – that’s my arena, we’ll see what my sweet little geek boys have to say. I work with 400 software developers… oh the candy store, were I willing to shop below my pay grade 😉

  48. Sugar Sugar Sugar! says:

    Skype Zach with shiny red cheeks and head phones is creepy! Becareful! And this new guy on the block called Sanjivarma! He is fat ugly and rich… but promises you monetary allowances, sweet talk.. then takes you clubbing and disappears for India for a month after doing the deed then calls you back & finds fault in you to not pay yet still asks for your company. He will not give you an allowance he agreed. He has been dating countless SBs on this site just to get a fast lay, bringing sometimes 3 to 4 SBs over to his hotel suite then to a high end party. He would lie about how he met the girls. He likes the attention, pops 1000 GBP champagne magnums.. big time waster. He will say lame things like I work in a ham burger stand drive a mini cab over a quick 30 minute lunch or dinner, criticizes how you look and say mean things like who says you’re pretty? He basically dates at least 5 SBs on this site back to back in a day! Nickname on his profile is who*thedaddy!

    • AnnaMW says:

      Thanks for the info Sugar Sugar. Can I have the profile number? I can’t find him with the information provided. How did you find out this stuff?

    • Treasured says:

      Looks like this is the “charming gentleman” 67203

    • Newbie says:

      I normally lurk without posting, but is Skype Zach #1015117? Because I got a message from him, and he looked pretty cool. What made him creepy? Trying to decide if I should reply.

  49. AnnaMW says:

    Thank you Jack and Midwest! Don’t get me wrong – an arrangement and accompanying details had to be in place before the fun began, but prior to either a mutual time investment was made. I don’t think I ever became involved with a person I knew for less than a month or two. I found reluctance to be very reassuring since I preferred long term situations.

    Moral of the story – you’re not in a rush to get in my pants and I’m not in a rush to get in your wallet. Reciprocity. It’s what makes things work.

  50. Midwest SB says:

    AnnaMW – You have mail! I agree w/ Jack…well put!

    Has anyone noticed the new Wish List feature?

  51. Jack says:

    Well-put, Anna.

    Jack

  52. California SB says:

    Tequila, do you code? I’m taking a course and one of my assignments says design an algorithm and pseudocode for a simple payroll system. Can you help? I’m serious. C++

  53. Kanta says:

    I am cute but I have stretch marks and by boobs and yummy could use a lift and tuck after children. I am 24. Am I too ugly because of this to be an SB. How do I address my flaws with a pot. SD? I have seen some great men on here but feel that they are out of my league. Should I even approach them?

    • Treasured says:

      Shall I be honest or sugarcoat?

      I will be honest. I have two kids, but my body looks better than when I was 18. Basically, think for yourself… If you see in the shop apples, all for the same price, which one you are going to choose – shiny and pert or….???

      There might be some men there for you, but you can forget about 5000 allowance.

      SDs I have been with can notice if I put on 2kgs (4 lbs).
      I am, I would say… at least 8 out of 10 look wise. With a size 6 pert body, yet still I was told that I am “a bit plumpy”.

      But, as I have said… You never know. If you leave in a small area, with no other local SBs and lots of SDs -you have a chance. If you live in NY, London or similar big cities – none.

      Just honest truth.

  54. AnnaMW says:

    I was never asked to prove I’m not just in it for the money. I would have been insulted by that type of questioning. A relationship in which finances would be held over my head simply wouldn’t work to me. Discussions only need to happen once. Its an awkward and unromantic conversation… I much preferred to focus on the relationship than the details.

    I haven’t had to deal with a lot of negotiating, and my SD boyfriends came through on time, as expected without excuses. It really pays to be up front. The “lets wait and see” game may work for some, but I prefer a more gentlemanly approach. Obviously if I’m involved, I considered them friends and liked them as people. Guys have offered generosity above what was agreed to and while it meant a lot, I would have never asked. Friends don’t nickel and dime each other.

  55. Entitled Bitch says:

    Lovin the new gift feature! But I feel we need jewelry SA!

  56. flyr says:

    In an established sugar relationship the words “prove to me” translate into it’s time to think about a change.

  57. EllenSugarB says:

    You guys make me laugh :)

  58. California SB says:

    Money? Am I with my sds for their money? No. Im with them for their genius. Thats the proof. Stop giving me money and it proves their are not as smart as i thought…… lol

  59. Stacy says:

    My response to that type of questioning: Your money is what initially attracted me to you, just as you were attracted to me physically. To me, being successful is a necessary turn on, just as you want a woman who is young and pretty. I am just not attracted to men who aren’t successful. That said, successful men are easy to find – I’m with you because I enjoy you. If I didn’t, I’d find another successful man to be with. Do you think this would be hard for me to do?

    To which they usually reply: Not one who would treat you this well.

    And then their eyes open and they get it and we don’t have to have the conversation again.

  60. Frank says:

    Treasured, I don’t blame you, both parties need to keep their agreement.

  61. Treasured says:

    Ok, A QUESTION!!??? How comes NEW gift options works only in the USA???! SO NOT FAIR!

  62. Treasured says:

    Re “prove me you are not with me for my money” guys usually do not see me after those words 😀

    I am past the age when I feel I have to prove anything to anybody 😛

  63. EllenSugarB says:

    Laundromats are gross.

  64. I LoveWestCoastGirl says:

    Treasured.
    ” If a Sugardad is worried a girl is with him just because he pays, why he doesn’t start paying first, without expecting anything in return and then wait and see?

    Instead of “you are with me just for my money bullshit”? And “prove that you would be with me even with no allowance”.
    Golden words ! :) :)
    I agree , why we have these double standards? , some SBs asked to “prove” they like the guy and not his success/financial perks , let SDs prove they really like the girl (not any free sample) and sincerely (they have to prove! it was done sincerely :) ) contribute with NO expectations. :)

    Audience on these shows are not so smart , last time about WYP an audience girl recommended to 55 y old flight attendant to meet guys in local bar, now they recomend laundromat. ? possible , but what r the chances it is a great guy ? and he is looking for a date ? may be he is not looking for anyone ?how would I know . for example we both live at the same good buiding in NYC (good but old , so one laundry room for the building) , and would not me and him be a bit uncomfortable to fold our underwear and stuff together at out first meet up ? how authentic is it.

    the real Q is , girls , you want to date the guy who recommended laundromat meeting (and jumped at the girl words “a guy eventually has to pay on date anyway” ) and split the coffee shop bill with him.
    Or go to Paris with Brandon :)

    it is just different quality of guys in local laundromat a college girl does her laundry and SOME guys at the site.
    if a girl lucky :) she might find these SOME guys .

    • Madridista says:

      @ILWCG and Treasured,

      Wait, some SDs actually want “prove that you would be with me with no allowance”? Wow! Never heard that one before! That sounds not so much SD as a wanna be boyfriend. Real SDs won’t ask for stuff like that. Creeps that like to pretend they’re SDs just because they have money will. Tell them no sugar = no me and walk away. Honestly, why bother with guys like that, life is too short.

  65. flyr says:

    @theresa there’s always the chance that he found the laundromat to be a very happy hunting ground

    as for the program they could make the same arguments regarding a date, a drink in a bar etc.

    My feeling is that too many folks are overanalyzing this, you find a lifestyle that’s comfortable for you and go with it.

    This stuff makes great tv for the masses and probably brings more to the site, that’s what promotion is all about.

    • Madridista says:

      “and probably brings more to the site”

      That’s exactly the problem sometimes. It brings more of curiosity seekers or “just looking” people. Translation: not serious. It’s not their lifestyle or a serious commitment and that’s why now it’s hard for some SBs to find serious SDs. Few years ago that was an anomaly. Now you have to screen more and much longer. At least with less publicity more serious people were on site, now quantity may be large, but quality not so much. But I don’t want to beat the dead horse here :)

  66. Theresa says:

    Why would you want to meet a man at the laundry mat? If he is at the laundry mat that means he is either very young and doesn’t have his life together or he is very poor and can’t afford a washing machine and a dryer and his building doesn’t supply a laundry mat on site. If a man is living in a building in a big east coast or Midwestern city and his building doesn’t have a laundry mat then he lives in a cheap apt. building and if he does he can’t afford a destination date anyway.

  67. Curvy Cutie SB says:

    *wanders in and wonders if she should watch or join*

  68. Jack says:

    Ain’t much of a party just by my lonesome. I’m more into “team sports” than “solo endeavors.”

    Looks like we still have the room all to ourselves, Tina!

    Jack

  69. Tina says:

    @Jack: looks like you were first and the only until I crashed your party 😉

  70. Jack says:

    Hey, am I first?

    Jack

  71. Jennifer says:

    All personalities and perspectives are welcome in the blog, while personal attacks and name calling are not. It’s inevitable that there will be disagreements but let’s handle it as mature adults with class to keep the dialog constructive and respectful. Please refer to the “Blog Etiquette” for more details. For the newbies, please take a look at the “Sugar Daddy Dating Tips” section on the right for a list of commonly discussed topics and the “SD and SB Blog List” section to see the perspective of other sugars. Now comment away and let’s enjoy the blog!!

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