6 years ago
Sugar Code of Conduct

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On SeekingArrangement, every registered Sugar Daddy and Sugar Baby agrees to a terms of use agreement, which prohibits activities that are not conducive of the dating site’s goal – to make it the best site out there for people to find Sugar Daddy and mutually beneficial relationships.

Escorts and those seeking them are prohibited from using SA, as well as those who are looking to defraud members on the site.

In the realm of dating on the inter-webs, it’s all too common to run into those who breach certain common sense rules of dating etiquette, often while shielded by anonymous online identities.

Many sugars have found that seeking the ‘perfect arrangement’  requires an endurance for seemingly inevitable run-ins with those who don’t measure up to the type of sugar you, or perhaps most SD’s and SB’s would desire…

No June Cleaver SB: “There will always be bad stories to share and horrid penis pics to deal with, but with patience and learning/applying some tried and true methods, sugar dating can be the most beautiful thing and enhance lives in such a way that is truly incomprehensible to those in the traditional dating world. Trust me, I know because it has changed mine. I wouldn’t trade my sugar dating experiences for anything in the world!”

Yet beyond the more obvious violators of various common sugar codes of conduct, are those who, through their actions during a sugar relationship, end up breaking more than just codes…

Ron: “I’m a newbie on the blog. Just terminated a 7 month arrangement with my SB. Best relationship I ever had. Everything was done right but I fell in love with my SB. Terminated the arrangement because she danced at a gentleman’s club and parties and never told me. Wouldn’t have wanted her doing it from the start but she kept it from me. The rest is history. How do SDs avoid deceit.”

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It may be helpful to know that as a sugar, even during the worst splits or most shocking disappointments, there are always many others out there who are also experiencing the high’s and low’s of sugardom – and you’re not alone. There are plenty of those here who are willing to listen, and share their insight…

NYC SB: “Ski Bunny – not sure about the details… but never cancel work where you are guaranteed to make money for a pot date… also never travel until your travel expenses have been taken care of… unfortunately this was just a bad learning experience for you… tell him to buzz off and move on”

In addition to the code of conduct every member of SA must adhere to in the sites Terms of Use, there are sure to be many instances where a sugar may find themselves with another who doesn’t uphold the main principle of a sugar relationship – which is that it be mutually beneficial.

And for this, some of the best advice is what sugars on Facebook recently said would be the message they’d send themselves on the day they first started their sugar journey’s:

“To remember not all are honest and looking for the same ideals as you”

“Do not let these men determine your self-worth”

“Be true to what you are looking for, not others opinions”

What, if anything, are you weary of when it comes to searching for sugar or being in a sugar relationship?

 

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235 Responses to “Sugar Code of Conduct”

  1. Luke says:

    Hi,
    I am being blackmailed after joining your sight and making contact with roughly 5 gilts. How do I go about dealing with it?

  2. cleo says:

    jay: i don’t get quite the quality that reach the beach does (and her profile is better in my opinion) but i do find the occasional gem in the rough with it and have met some great men. none quite turned out to be my SD but i regret meeting very few of them. both of us are older, but i think too it’s the message in our profile and photos. neither of us says “don’t treat us bad” but both of us are clearly expecting to be treated *well*

    not saying i don’t meet jerks, but i meet jerks in bars too lol there are zillions of them… and the cleaner my profile got the better the contacts were that i received…

  3. Rcheck says:

    It’s always nice to know you’ve please the Gods. :)

    In fairness Dallas Baby, LASB, logciallady and Reach the Beach also gave wonderful comments and advice. Some of which were shadowed in my post.

    It’s one of the nicer things about this blog. The way that everyone is so quick to help each other. Something to be proud of.

    I on the other hand just went into one of my typically verbose rants. :)

    Thanks.

  4. SA Blog Gods says:

    Excellent advice Rcheck! It’s just been added to our profile tips link on the right. Thanks for contributing!

  5. Rcheck says:

    @Jay

    Please take no offence as I haven’t even read your updated profile. But I assure you that the majority of profiles I’ve read here (and everywhere else) could use substantial rewrites.

    First of all there is a simple structure for writing any piece of marketing copy called AIDA. It is an acronym for Attention, Interest, Desire & Action. It has been around for over a hundred years. It’s Gospel in marketing, and it’s still used successfully every day. I have a sign describing it in my office.

    Let’s apply it to a profile…

    Attention – Does the first few lines of your profile grab a pots attention? It should. Start with something clever, funny, dramatic, or whatever you believe will pull the reader in. It should be compelling.

    Interest – You know the audience you want to attract. What will appeal to them? What about you appealed to your last SD? Write a paragraph or three about what you believe will interest the kind of SD you are looking for.

    Desire – Get arrogant! Tell the SD’s the qualities you have that will make them want to contact you. Never lie, but spend ZERO time on anything they may not like. Don’t say what you are not (a Barbie doll) Say what you are (Fit, fun, happy, Etc.).

    Action – Now that you have their attention, you have interested them with what they want, you have told them the things you have that they may desire, CLOSE THE SALE! This can be as simple as ‘Interested? Drop me a line’. The idea here is to get them to click the email icon and start a conversation.

    Finally, keep all this positive. Many SB’s have been burned by SD wannabe’s. It’s understandable when they rant about it in their profile. But it’s also counter productive. It ALWAYS reads as drama, Always, Always, Always. Don’t do it. I feel your pain I really do, but it will turn pot’s off quicker than a light switch. Save those stories for after you have established a relationship with them, and use it as a compliment that they wen’t like the others.

    You will still get losers, ‘next’ them and keep swimming. The point is to write a profile that will target the kind of SD you DO want.

    One last note about the age thing. How is it hurting you? If you think it’s scaring off older gentlemen, set their minds at ease. Say that you like ‘distinguished’ or ‘mature’ gentlemen. They will appreciate that and be more likely to contact you. If it’s hurting you in some other way, address it in your profile in a positive way.

    Best of luck.

  6. Welcome Jay and Eager to Learn! You’ve received great advice so far!

    I’m going to link my profile so you can take a peak…I get a lot of compliments and weed out a ton of the flakes. Part of it may be my age, but I don’t get many requests for nudes, etc and I expect men to behave like gentlemen. Lastly, I’m 44 and a size 8 and have had a few arrangements through SA. I’ve found the older gents understand arrangements and will treat you right. Many of the young, hot guys treat it like their playground. Block and delete those guys immediately. A reply only stirs the pot.

    Best of luck!

  7. logciallady says:

    I agree with Dallas and LASB….way to long and take out the negativity.

    SD’s don’t have a lot of time, they want to be able to skim through the profile and find a few key pieces of info which will attract them and leave them wanting to know more…after all if you tell them everything then what do they have left to ask you when sending an introduction email right 😉

    Short and sweet!

  8. LASB says:

    jay – Read some of the links on the right side of the blog, under “Sugar Daddy Dating Tips.” In particular, there are two in particular, “Marketing Yourself as a Sugar Daddy” and “Sugar Baby
    Profile Tips” that you may find useful.

  9. jay says:

    Profile updated.

  10. Dallasbaby says:

    Jay- If all that is in your profile you need to take out all that negative talk in it . I see that as the problem. It would not make a man want to meet you I would think.

  11. jay says:

    Wow that was long.

    It seems to take me hours just to find someone who has mutual intentions, and I just can’t make myself devote that time… makes me feel.. eh desperate. And once I seem to find someone, it seems like theres always something.. albeit a “catch” or just not a continued attraction. And apparently my age seems to scare many off, but lying and saying im 5 years older seems to have horrible unforetold consequences. I may be young, but I grew up fast.. seems unfair that i’m looked over because of my young age.

  12. jay says:

    SB from.. dum dum dum NC.
    Eh i know horrible place :)

    I’ve had one previous relationship that lasted 2 years. I traveled 3 to 4 times a month to see him and I loved it, it was well worth it. He considered it a typical sd/sb relationship. Set monthly allowance that was deposited into an account. Shopping trips. Vacations. Spa days. We actually became very close. He’s the one who told me about the site. I’ve exchanged messages to a few “SDs” but nothing has ever come from it. Nude photos are constantly requested and clothes hitting the floor seems to be expected 10 minutes into our first meeting. Can’t seem to find a real SD who wants more than just a physical relationship. Guess I really was spoiled by my last SD. We use to sit up for hours and talk. He would help proof read my papers for college and I would help him in the office. I honestly loved it and was heart broken when he had to move out of the country.

    I’m assuming my profile is well written, i’ve received compliments that oit was an interesting read. Tried to link it but i’m not to tech savvy. (Here’s the info)

    I’m a very fun loving person, I love to have a good time. Im not flashy, I believe in self respect. I enjoy reading and writing. I’m a full time student and im not quite sure what I want to do. I spend most of my time reading or working out, I dont have a perfect body, im pretty normal even in my looks. But working out relaxes me and puts me in a good mood. Im interested in many things and I love to learn anything that I can. Anything dealing with culture pretty much grabs my attention. Im very neat. Im the kind of person who will walk into a friends house and straighten a picture frame. I enjoy being spoiled and I enjoy spoiling people. Im very open about a lot of things. I love taking care of people. I love helping others, and I love being there for people. I look cooking and baking. I take very good care of myself, in every way possible.

    Update: when I decided to try sa.com out I was told “go for it you’d have a better chance than most. You look normal and not like a barbie doll. I’m always being turned down because I look too much like a barbie. They want real girls not ones that look like they’re made of plastic.” -anonymous. Well apparently my friend was mistaken. Because I’m not a size double zero with huge breasts and a perfect body I’ve been told “sorry sweetie I’m just not into you, you’re not thin enough for me.” -asshole from nc. Ok well then if I am what they’re looking for all they’ve wanted is naked photos five minutes after exchanging names and the expectation that our first meeting you’ll be taking my clothes off ten minutes after I walk into the door. So here it is. I’m not perfect. I’m roughly a size 5 so get over it. I’m human not a super model. Don’t ask me for naked photos and don’t expect me to sleep with you on our first date/meeting. I’m a lady not a prostitute. If that’s what you want look on the street corner by your local 7eleven. Now if your looking for something more than that then contact me and I promise we could have a fun encounter. I have respect for myself. And I expect you to have the same. Now if were on the same page then I apologize for my rudeness and let me begin again. Hell my name is Jaclyn and its very nice to meet you. <3

    Im looking for someone who I can enjoy a good time with. I want someone who is honest and trustworthy with me from the begining. No lies. Im very blunt about my intentions and I expect the same. What I want my suprise you so talk to me. Be verbal, I want someone I can talk to, about anything. I want someone who will take care of me when I need it. And I want to take care of someone. Amounts are always negotiable. Everything isnt about money. But it is nice =)

    For me it's not really about the money as it is experiencing a life that I can't due to my *cough* small town southern upbringing. My previous SD opened doors to a world I had no idea existed. I'd love to find someone I can have that connection with.

  13. Logicallady says:

    Eager to Learn – I forgot to mention to check out the topics at the side of the screen GREAT info for newbies!

  14. Logicallady says:

    Eager to learn – welcome! My advice is don’t rush into anything to fast while adjusting to the sugar land, know what you want before meeting anyone or you’ll be taken advantage of, and try and find a couple good SB’s to befriend (when you do ask the blog god’s to grant you the wish to exchange emails) this comes in handy if you feel you need a more private chat if a subject isn’t appropriate for the blog :) And lastly, keep up with the bloggers…cool like minded friends to have around!

    Arcadia – 26 IS mid 20’s still…Rock it up sweetheart 😉

    Jay – We’ll need a little more info to help you out; first, are you SD or SB? Is your profile well written and clearly geared toward what you are seeking…or better yet what your NOT seeking? Is it that your just attracting the wrong type of people? Are you overly picky or is there slim pickings in your area? Fill us in boy! One suggestion I have if your finding it hard to manage time-wise is to start favorite’ing who you think may be a potential…perhaps a few each day and even if you don’t have time to message them right away they’ll know they’ve been added to your favorites…perhaps focusing your searches for newest members daily will decrease the amount of searching time? Perhaps some SD’s perspective would be beneeficial :)

    How am I doing on advice everyone…leave it to the more experienced or keep it coming?

  15. LASB says:

    Hi Sugars!

    Happy Birthday Arcadia! I’m a bit tipsy myself. I’m not a big drinker, but the bartender at my dinner joint gets grumpy when I don’t drink the free shots she puts in front of me.

    Welcome to the blog, Jay and Eager to Learn!

    Jay – It could be what you say (or don’t say) in your profile. Sometimes it helps to be direct.

    If anyone is going to be in the SF area this week, look me up!

  16. jay says:

    Been on the site for months, yet still haven’t found what i’m looking for. Any suggestions? Don’t have time to spend hours upon hours “browsing”

  17. Arcadia SB says:

    Hello Lovely Ladies,

    I’ve been out of the loop, crazy busy with work…but wanted to tell everyone that today is my Birthday.. I am 26 and currently “sugar free” but will rock the “late 20’s” as hardcore as I did mid 20’s.

    Anyone want to go out and grab a Derby weekend drink if you’ll be in the Louisville area? Derby is a great excuse for some sugar fun! And it’s my birthday week in addition so we need some sugar bonding in the blue grass ASAP.

    I might have had a few too many birthday beers…but that’s OK :)

    I miss talking ot all you lovely ladies….why does work have to require so much of my time?

    Hugs and kisses to all!
    -Arcadia

  18. eager to learn says:

    Hello there, completely new to this world. Just trying to get a feel for everything.

  19. cleo says:

    i did now, it was hiding in my spam!

  20. Logicallady says:

    Just call me Rose – Great to hear about the turn of events….hopefully this gentleman of means is a keeper 😉

    Cleo – Did ya get my email I sent you?

  21. cleo says:

    i’m with the sb who said “stop telling me your gonna’s and start showing me your did’s”

  22. SouthernGent2 says:

    DallasBaby – about the certified man for 200. Maybe that is why he is really rich………he manages his expenses. Just kidding, just kidding 😉

  23. Lisa without a family says:

    I think we will see revenge attacks. Anyway all credit for getting rid of him goes to our military, not to the current administration. I don’t see any change though as there are hundreds more bad to replace one bad one.

    RTB summer has arrived here, I’ll trade it for your spring weather. Already to hot and I had to give up my daily walks which really helped my stress.

  24. Good Morning to you Reach the Beach…

    As far as Bin Laden goes… I have to say, that I’m not even sure if it weakens the circle of terrorists out there… although I’m sure it puts a damper on moral. His health has been fading for years, and I’m sure that whomever has been helping him has prepared (at least a little) for his passing. I know it sounds silly, but I am a little leery that we may come to be too comfortable, and overlook this little fact. In the end, setting ourselves up for another disaster… I think we should stay on our toes, because even though we got this one, there are a hundred more waiting to be BIGGER and BETTER than he ever was… :~(

    But enough about that… It’s been an exciting weekend for me. I think I might have made a VERY good connection as far as my career goes. I’ve been offered a job playing in a signed act, making good $$, traveling across the country, doing what I love. What more could I ask for?!? BTW… the offer came from a “gentleman of means” who wants to help me out, and has already showed some interest in other areas of my life. =D

  25. The Lone Gunman says:

    @Reach the Beach SB

    What happens now that bin Laden is dead?

    Since I travel a lot, the following has come to my attention:

    Travel Alert
    U.S. DEPARTMENT OF STATE
    Bureau of Consular Affairs

    WORLD WIDE
    May 1, 2011
    The U.S. Department of State alerts U.S. citizens traveling and residing abroad to the enhanced potential for anti-American violence given recent counter-terrorism activity in Pakistan. Given the uncertainty and volatility of the current situation, U.S. citizens in areas where recent events could cause anti-American violence are strongly urged to limit their travel outside of their homes and hotels and avoid mass gatherings and demonstrations. U.S. citizens should stay current with media coverage of local events and be aware of their surroundings at all times. This Travel Alert expires August 1, 2011.

    TLG

  26. Reach the Beach SB says:

    Good morning sugars!

    What happens now that bin Laden is dead? I know it weakens the circle of terrorists, but my scare is that it will inspire them to avenge his murder. Will it ever stop?

    Logicallady – Oh…it’s been a barometric roller coaster here, but when you’ve suffered in frigid temps for 6 months, you welcome the consequences that come with warmer days! Even 28 days of rain can’t completely dampen my spirits!

    Three days to end Spring term and have a few weeks of freedom before summer term begins…what to do, what to do?

  27. Logicallady says:

    TexaSugah & Rose….kisses for the shout out ;)….and no worries Rosie-baby!!!

    Thx to Skibunny and Dallas for the call out on the certified members…it’s a great reminder to all the SB’s that “certified” only represents their net ($) value and does not hold weight against the manipulative and disillusioned intentions of the SD/SB relationship….something they are surely counting on for SB’s to fall prey to.

    Brownsugar – sorry you had to deal with a smirky arse…what a way to damper the weekend :S

    Reach – Sounds like your day stared off with a bang, most of us north of the border have been suffering the barometric pressure..personally I would prefer if my head actually DID explode rather than manage the nasty migraine :'(

    Raise a glass everybody to the week ahead!

  28. TexaSugah says:

    Dallasbaby- some people are so simple. Probably created by an unkept woman with greasy hair in a knit, lime green jumper circa 1982 OR a guy who was turned down because he couldn’t afford a sugar.

  29. Dallasbaby says:

    I saw a t-shirt on tv that said “Sugar Baby” Like a hooker only smarter !

  30. BTW… Welcome logicallady… sorry I missed that. :~) lol.

  31. Reach the Beach SB says:

    Hmmmm….wonder if this mentality is fed by pay-for-play “arrangements”?

  32. Really, unpleasant experience today. A super pushy SD *smirk* was contacting me. He was insistent and kept trying to meet on days I told him I was unavailable. Fast forward to today, the day we were actually supposed to meet. He expected me to come to his house. -__- & then when I told him I would not be coming to his house nor was I an escort and was not going to be having sex with him, he says this isn’t match.com. My response? This isn’t backpage.com. If you’re looking for an escort, have at it! Ugh. A rating system would be nice so some other SB doesn’t waste her time like I did.

  33. Dallasbaby says:

    One of the certified guys asked me to meet in a hotel for 200.00 !

  34. Dallasbaby says:

    SkiBunny- the guys are who pay so it is the old saying ” customers always right “.

  35. SkiBunny says:

    I think SA needs a rating system for members. I’m not the only one who has been manipulated by a certified member. I’m not saying his account should be deleted, but rather that there is a three strikes your out policy. This site doesn’t want escorts, but what about the men who send awful first messages about how they’re in town for the night and looking for an escort of sorts.

  36. Reach the Beach SB says:

    Gooooooood morning sugars! Spring has finally sprung in the mIdwest! I can open my windows and look out at the green grass! Yay!!!

    Saw Dierks Bentley last night and he always puts on an amazing show!!! Love Chicago!

    What are your summer plans?

    Gotta go enjoy the day!

  37. Lisa no longer has a family says:

    my last post wouldn’t post??

    • SD Guru says:

      @Lisa
      my last post wouldn’t post??

      It contained words commonly associated with spam so it was automatically filtered by the blog software.

      @Honey

      Your posts were inadvertently ending up in the spam folder. Try posting again and it should be fine now.

  38. Lisa no longer has a family says:

    ?

  39. Rcheck says:

    @overweight – ED = Erectile dysfunction

  40. overweight says:

    ED?

  41. texasugah says:

    Hey y’all..

    The blog is always cooking.

    @Dallasbaby – I agree with you to a point. There are situations where the SD physically can’t have traditional sex and so settles for company and friendship. But you’re right.. for the most part sex is involved. And it is human nature, we are hardwired to have some sort of hierarchy or caste system. We do it everyday. If you remember my question about what’s the difference between a sugar and a courtesan.. The answer I got was great..
    regular dating, dating rich men, sugar dating, sugar dating with more than one sugar, courtesans, high class escorts, escorts, prostitutes and then streetwalkers.

    I don’t get the real difference between women who date more than one guy and a SB who has more than one sugar. If you’re not up for a traditional relationship, why not benefit from each other?>

    Because of my time restrictions I have what I term as a PT sugar and he’s the only man I’m intimate with but I do have a couple of gentlemen I hang out with occasionally who just enjoy being around a woman and enjoy being able to have intelligent conversations. But have ED issues..

    @Lily – love the description as well.

    @Enigma.. good luck

    @LogicalLady – welcome

    Has anyone heard from Honey.. I need to email her

  42. Logicallady says:

    We worship you thy gods! 😉

  43. SA E-mail Exchange says:

    Ladies – Check your inboxes! Sorry to keep you waiting.

  44. Logicallady says:

    Hey Cleo

    Never got it either. The question which should be determined is..has any of the sugar babies ever gotten their wish granted in the past to exchange emails?

    If we are fortunate enough then perhaps the god’s themselves could send us the answer!

    Or prehaps some strategic thinking is needed ~ in total compliance with all the terms and conditions of course 😛

    I don’t have “Logic” in my title for nothing 😉

  45. Dallasbaby says:

    Hello miss Molly !

  46. Anna Molly says:

    Hey Sugars! I hope everyone is having a great weekend! 😀

    My Mom came for a surprise visit and it is so good to see her! 😀

  47. @ Reach the Beach SB ~ “Did you know that if you just type “g” into your address box, it will direct you to g-mail?”

    Yes, they knew what they were doing when they made that name. In any directory (search engine or even your phone book…lol) the single lettered names come up first… My business instructor told us a “tip” about it when we were discussing names for potential businesses in one of the projects we were doing…lol

  48. cleo says:

    hey torontoblondie if you ever got my email and used it? i never got it. same with you logicallady

    so blog folks, please send my email to torontoblondie and to logicallady

    thanks

  49. torontoblondie says:

    As for the plantoic relationships, they don’t work at all coming from SA, the men on here have their mind set on the prize. My ex SD I found outside of this website (a guy I was seeing hooked me up with his friend from his office that makes 10x more then him) – it wasn’t that is was physical impaired or anything, but I think he didn’t really care about sex… He told me he doesn’t masturbate, which was shocking to me because I thought all males did :S And he’s not into the idea of oral b/c thats ‘not what lips were made for’. But I don’t think they are as rare as some think they are, I have had a few, mostly married men who would rather go on a date with me and receive a massage after and I received the same allowance expectations as those seeking sex etc. One guy I was seeing that was in his early 30’s (amazing face, body, etc could have been a model but he was too busy being successful in the business sector) actually approached me on this site asking for that type of arrangement because he didn’t want to ‘fully’ cheat on his wife, trusttt me if anything I was trying to take advantage of him and get him to fuck me after awhile of dating, he was such a tease! Gorgeous, and well endowed by the looks of it. Yes I do like sex, but only with those I want it with as an allowance doesn’t mean an obligation to jump in the sack with someone, that’s illegal 😉

  50. Rcheck says:

    @The Lone Gunman. You should teach a class in writing profiles.

    It’s astonishing how many people say things in their profile such as they are ‘fun’, ‘smart’, and have a ‘wicked sense of humor’, instead of showing us that with their profile as you did.

    Plus it makes a great screening tool, because if they don’t “Get it”, they wont get you either.

    Nicely done. A great profile should always have attitude.

  51. Reach the Beach SB says:

    Evening sugars!

    Nico – surprised me too! Actually, fishing has become a family bonding time these days. I’ll take that whenever I can :-)

    TLG – Where’s the sensitive side? Do you cry at Hallmark commercials and rescue kittens?

    Lily – Looks like you need to trademark that phrase quick!!!

    Did you know that if you just type “g” into your address box, it will direct you to g-mail?

  52. cleo says:

    blog gods we beseech thee, please connect logicallady and i

  53. Logicallady says:

    @Cleo – drinks for sure girlie!!! and bwah on TLG…that trickster…pretty funny guy 😉

  54. cleo says:

    logicallady we clearly need to get a drink :)

    but tlg lives south of us… he’s just abusing the name of our town to be punny

  55. The Lone Gunman says:

    @Logicallady:

    Who says I’m in Toronto?

    I just go there to cruise the bars dressed as a baby seal.

    TLG, who feels so good in fur…

  56. Logicallady says:

    Thanks for the warm welcome Enigma and Cards 😉

    @TLC – If I were 15 years older I may have needed some *Depends* just to get through your post of potential profile statements 😉 Toronto huh…big it up boy! Love to see all my fellow Torontonians holding it down on this forum 😛

  57. @TLG ~ LOL. That’s great!!!! I don’t know single girl that wouldn’t be throwing themselves at your feet!!!!

  58. The Lone Gunman says:

    I am considering changing my profile, and could use some input on the following:

    Looking for an adventure with a REAL man? A MANLY man?

    A MANLY MAN’S MAN? A *rugged* man?

    I’m so tough I don’t bother with a pansy razor–I just PULL the hairs out of my face, with tweezers and a mirror–then rub alcohol on because I like a light burn to start my day.

    Don’t need matches; my mojo is so intense that wood spontaneously combusts in my presence. Don’t feel bad if you feel a bit woozy just reading my amazing prose.

    Outrageously I dress up as a baby seal on Halloween and cruise bars in Toronto just to see the reaction when they ask what I want, and I reply “Anything but Canadian Club.”

    Like most women (and some odd men), you now wish to bask in the unshielded rays of my brilliance as it radiates out into the universe by worshipping at my feet.

    Send full-body clothed, semi-nude and nude photos or yourself, your best chick friends and anyone else that you can find to me at once for consideration for addition to my ever-increasing harem of toygirls. Must have place for me to stay and a working vehicle to pick me up and drive me around town.

    TLG

  59. CardsFanSD says:

    @Logicallady – Welcome, glad to have another viewpoint here — have a great weekend!

  60. Enigma SD says:

    “A lover of means who helps you out” — well said Lily – that is going to be my definition of an SD from now on.

    Welcome to the blog, Logicallady.

    I have some sugary fun planned next weekend — first date with a pot SB.

    Hope everyone’s sugar is sweet!

  61. Logicallady says:

    Good morning everyone!

    Here’s my first post…been on the site for about a month and have been checking out the blogs whenever possible (been taking a 4 day crash course – generally an 8 month program and studying my tiny hiney off the days in-between to pass my pre-qualification exam – I passed 9% over the requirements!) I got to learn a lot about not only all the sugar bloggers but also the do’s/don’ts/safety steps etc. so thank you all!

    Just finished reading the string of posts and good mother of pearls thank goodness Friday is here…it’s unfortunate (err or maybe fortunate depending on interpretation) text doesn’t have tone but sounds like some sugars, both B’s and D’s, are overdue for some sugary fun so lets bat this weekend out of the ballpark babies!

    All kidding aside and do hope I got a few giggles on the above paragraph for those who are reading, the SA family here seems pretty forgiving towards posts that may be perceived the wrong way…we’re all victim of it at some point or another and can only hope if any of my future posts come across harsh that they are just as easily forgiven. After all, it’s better to keep the drama on the posts rather than in the relationships 😉

    Anyway, I just wanted to inject myself into the blogging…looking forward to future topics and rants, Take care.

    PS: keep it coming SD’s I’m sure I speak for all the ladies when I say we appreciate you sharing your perspectives :)

  62. cleo says:

    lol seriously, i’m not sure i could handle a platonic arrangement.. although i could handle starting slowly :)

  63. cleo says:

    i like sex, i like shoes, i like powerful men who spoil me, i like having my own life… isn’t this why we sugar date?

  64. Muse says:

    Platonic arrangements do exist, but as ReachTheBeach said, they often come with their own set of problems or limitations. I’ve had one and nice though it was, I prefer one that is a bit more…um…exciting. 😀

  65. Rcheck says:

    @ The Lone Gunman – Guess I’m smarter than I thought, Thanks.

    @ Dallas Baby – Thanks

    @ Reach the Beach – Send the card. It matters that you make your feelings known, even if only to yourself.

  66. CardsFanSD says:

    @Reach the Beach SB
    Whatever the two parties agree to as mutually beneficial is all that matters.

    I agree 150%.

  67. Reach the Beach SB says:

    I have heard of platonic arrangements. Unfortunately, they may come with it’s own set of issues. One lady I know of couldn’t have any relations with anyone else while she was in the arrangement, but he wasn’t able to have sex himself. Another that I heard of included quite a bit of drama.

    I don’t know why men agree to those terms….perhaps it’s a physical impairment or in thinking that they will be able to convince his SB to be intimate with him at some point. Either way, I do believe it happens on rare occasion. Besides…who are we to judge? This isn’t a place where there are right and wrong arrangements. Whatever the two parties agree to as mutually beneficial is all that matters.

  68. WCSD says:

    Lily/Rose – the ‘pay me to be your platonic friend’ SB must work somewhere though (I’ve never met a SD who wants or could even fathom that). But looking at the number of profiles that mention no sexual contact, etc. it must work somewhere, or those people wouldn’t be around.

    But you can say the same for the people who fall for the ‘I’ll send you $10,000 if you just send me $250 to cover some legal fees’. I mean, who falls for that….but someone must, or those scammers would come up with a new game….

    Really there is a fool born every minute, and there are 10 others lined up to take advantage of them.

  69. Nico says:

    Good afternoon all!!

    RTB – of all experiences I s’pose I never would’ve expected you to post about a bass fishing tournament. Way to mix it up!! :-) The sun (and being outdoors in general) is sooooo good for the soul!

    Topic on pictures – asking etc. I’ll admit to having asked a pot (later became my SD) for a photo. He didn’t have one – still hadn’t mastered the art of the scanner and repelled by technology. I asked just to get an idea of what he looked like – it wasn’t necessarily a deciding factor. We took about 3 weeks on the phone before we ever met and that’s how I prefer to get to know somebody :)

    It may be a bit late to answer the blog questions; however, I will state that my sentiments mirror most of those already stated. I’ve not been actively searching for a while now so perhaps some of the things that frustrated me so much then aren’t on the front of my thoughts now.

    Lily and Rose….I’m with you! I much prefer an ‘older’ gentleman. I don’t date IRL at my own age either.

  70. @Lily ~ “Gosh, am I the only one who thinks there is nothing glorious or superior in admitting to having a peculiar older man/young girl relationship where a girl spends time as pals with a man for financial compensation, in the scenario in which the girl does not wish for or permit sex to happen between them?”

    No… you’re not.

    “A lover of means, however, who helps you out, ….now that makes sense and seems so much happier and well-balanced for all involved.”

    Good stuff! lol. And I agree…

  71. Lily says:

    Gosh, am I the only one who thinks there is nothing glorious or superior in admitting to having a peculiar older man/young girl relationship where a girl spends time as pals with a man for financial compensation, in the scenario in which the girl does not wish for or permit sex to happen between them? It’s like inviting an obsessive stalker type guy into your life, and doesn’t sound natural, or like a good idea at all. Meaning, why would he do that? Most wealthy men (with an SA account!!!) will opt for holding out their time and resources for an affair the young beauty who wants to hop on him, since it’s certainly easy to find one. So if he’s settling for the girl who keeps him at arm’s length with her legs tightly crossed, he must have some reason for not nexting her, and continuing to hang around her, for a fee. And I don’t think that reason sounds healthy (much more bunny boiler/glenn close, if you ask me).

    A lover of means, however, who helps you out, ….now that makes sense and seems so much happier and well-balanced for all involved.

  72. Dallasbaby says:

    I think girls just lie and say they never sleep with a sugar daddy because it makes them feel better about what they do. People for some reason like to act like they are the extra special ones who do not have to do such things. I think it is more so as they do not want the stigma of being a whore, or hooker. Everyone knows it is BS so they end up looking like liars. You can wrap it in a fancy package, but it all boils down to the facts being the same. We are all in this sugar bowl together , yet for some reason we wanna act like we are above it or better than. I think that is just human nature .

  73. Reach the Beach SB says:

    “…it’s nice to spend several hours outdoors.”

  74. Reach the Beach SB says:

    Rose – I have to admit the more I do it, the more I enjoy it. Kind of like golf…it’s just nice to spend several outdoors.

    All – I need some etiquette advice please. My former mother-in-law passed away and I love her dearly. I want to send condolences, but the new wife wouldn’t like to hear from me. The services have passed, so I just wanted to send a card. Any suggestions?

  75. @Reach the Beach ~ “Fished my first bass tournament yesterday…always up for a new experience!”

    Congrats on a new experience! I love fishing… =D

  76. torontoblondie says:

    1) My ex SD wasn’t hideous – nor repulsive, he had a good body for his age, but when people hide blemishes on their face with photo shop and they have them in person it is something I focus on fully – he got them removed 2 weeks after we met. And I didn’t see him in-between that time.

    2) As for kissing him? I think I didn’t kiss him until 2 months into the relationship and like I stated before – I didn’t have sex with him nor do I do with anyone I don’t like — I have my own standards. If I felt pressured or felt like I had to have sex with someone then I would be no better then a whore. Years ago sugar daddies didn’t have sex with sugar babies and were just rich old gentlemen looking to help females, but the standards have lowered.

    3) as for treating me poorly? He treated me like a princess for the first 4 months – it wasn’t until the last month when I told him if he bought a huge house close to my school and got me a new car then sure I’d move in with him, he travels a lot so it wouldn’t really effect me and I’m not looking to get married for awhile – so we agreed I could devoid 3 years of my life to that and then leave once I was done school to search for someone my age. After that he thought our relationship moved on to the next level, as the last blog topic stated when sugar ends in relationships guys tend to want more from a girl and I don’t like that, just like any normal bf they want you to stop by when ever they are free – because genuinely you want to see each other, but I like working by schedules, I’m a pretty organized person. So I stayed with someone for a month treating me unfairly but really only saw him 3 times while he was doing so – – – – and told him to stop treating me so, I think spending the rest of the month with him to see if he could change was fair choice.

  77. The Lone Gunman says:

    Pictures appear to be a sore subject in Sugar World, and probably rightly so.

    Wish I had the magical answer for everyone.

    TLG

  78. Reach the Beach SB says:

    Heyyyyy sugars!

    Fished my first bass tournament yesterday…always up for a new experience! :-)

    torontoblondie- With all due respect, I don’t think EnigmaSD or CardsFan were contradicting or supporting your points. Everyone is going to have a different approach and it’s great to hear the thoughts of the men as they are able to teach us something that might help with our searches.

    As for pics – I’ve never asked for them. I do have my standards and will not enter an arrangement with someone who doesn’t interest me. I prefer to get to know someone via phone and e-mails before seeing their picture so I don’t “judge the book by its cover”. It’s easy to overlook red flags when someone is super hot and it’s even easier to dismiss someone who isn’t your ideal, but is great in every other way. I end up seeing pictures when they offer to send some, but it’s nice to not make it my initial focus. Additionally, what percentage of the time are the pictures actually an accurate representation of the person. I don’t photograph well, but I get the look of pleasant surprise when I meet someone in person. Sugar dating has taught me a lot about my haves and have-nots…from looks to personality to how I would like to be courted/ treated.

  79. If I’m going to keep getting jabbed at… I guess I’ll give it back for a second… sorry guys.

    @Toronto ~ I’m curious to know why you stayed so long with this 5g a month SD (until you found the younger, more attractive, one) if it wasn’t for the money? I mean, obviously if he didn’t make you happy from the start. I would say you were somewhat “repulsed” by him. If you say he looked nothing like his photo (which proves my point on that…lol), and you thought he was a horrible kisser…amongst other comments I’ve read.

    I’m not going to comment anymore on the subject,because it’s not my business. But please stop throwing my words out there like that. I think it’s slightly disrespectful. Maybe you need to calm down a little, and not take stuff so personal. None of my comments were pointed at you, and I didn’t quote anyone but myself. It’s just a thought…

  80. CardsFanSD says:

    @Torontoblondie
    Same with CardsFanSD
    So if you really think sugar babies don’t like sugar daddies. Leave the game. Because you stated “I miss you” means: “I miss your wallet” did you not?

    I don’t believe I said *all* SBs, did I?

    I’m quite certain for every example you give of how *you* are, I describe an opposite scenario based on what I’ve experience, in just the last month. There are a wide variety of people out there, on both sides.

    And, if you go back to what I actually said:
    You miss me? *me* me? or *wallet* me? Whichever is fine, but… don’t make it sound like one, if it’s the other. I don’t need that.

    You left out the “whichever is fine” part, and the request for honesty and truth in communication.

    Basically meaning, I don’t need to hear meaningless adulation. You think that doesn’t happen?!?

    Anyway.

  81. torontoblondie says:

    Enigma SD
    April 27, 2011 at 11:27 am
    Same thing happens to SDs — I write a thoughtful paragraph to an SB and I get back a note that says…. send pics to “email address” which I promptly go next — can’t take a minute to write at least one more sentence back

    Those people could possibly be males that get off by seeing other men’s photos. Girls get it a lot from guys who use craigslist, this is just the reverse method. Because guy’s can go on the site for free pretending to be girls, and it doesn’t cost them a dime and there are no background checks..

    But honestly… I find this a little disturbing…. “In fact, if you read my earlier post, I said I thought the SB should not fake or pretend to like their SD.” if you really think us sugar babies don’t genuinely like our sugar daddies, why are you here? Wouldn’t you rather be with someone that does like you?

    My new SD and I tell each other all the time that we miss each other, and I do, I spent my birthday with him instead of anyone else because he was coming into town and I really liked celebrating it with him because I do genuinely like him………. why would I fake that? Just like I wouldn’t be with a guy that didn’t like me for more then my looks, SD’s always like their sugar babies or else they wouldn’t be with them, so shouldn’t it work the other way around?

    I left the 5 g a month sugar daddy because I wasn’t attracted to him and he really didn’t treat me that well (btw I did get an initial photo from him but it was photo shopped… then he got some plastic surgery and looked like the picture kind of….) still didn’t matter to me, he always wanted me to be free last minute and I deserve some respect, I rather be happy with someone then date someone that makes me hate being a sugar baby.

    Same with CardsFanSD
    So if you really think sugar babies don’t like sugar daddies. Leave the game. Because you stated “I miss you” means: “I miss your wallet” did you not?

    btw my sugar daddy is actually an amazing kisser, can’t say much about you though, maybe she was lying, but I know I never do. My last SD sucked at kissed SUCKED I don’t know how any other girl never told him that, he didn’t even move his lips he just pressed them really hard against mine so my head was restrained and hurt. Go on a normal dating site if you don’t like this ‘wallet’ business.

    This goes the same for any sugar baby that just likes the $$$$$, I don’t sleep with anyone unless I like them. Nor do I even talk to anyone that “repulses” me.

  82. sugarsugar says:

    Toronto and SD Guru-

    Thanks so much for responding~!!

    Toronto- that’s a great idea. Maybe I will wait another week and say wow, I’ve been so busy and thought I responded..how are you. but I suspect you are right, he’s not a real SD and doesn’t want to answer the question

    Have a great day everyone!

  83. CardsFanSD says:

    @SDGuru
    So is she a pot SB, SB, or GF??

    um. yes? “it’s complicated”

    With all those dates, you still had time to become jaded by other pot SB’s??

    um. yes? I guess it’s been a busy month on the site…

    3 times a week sounds like she’s GF material, but for a married man it could be too much of a good thing. I see a slippery slope in your future so please tread carefully.

    um. yes? I can’t disagree.

  84. Thanks for the warm welcome…

    I think my private pics scare some guys away… I’m a musician, and the only full body photos I have at the moment are of me doing what I love. (Standing on a stage rockin’ out my bass…lol.) Although, if they would take the time to get to know me first, they would find that not only do I play bass, I also play trumpet, clarinet, baritone, and the piano (a little…lol.) I’m fairly cultured when it comes to music, and I’ve been across the country a time or two. (I also used to live in Canada…and still have friends that do!)

    My first SD was awesome! He’s actually the reason I came up with my new name here. (He used to call me the rose amongst the thorns…lol) He was record executive who I was extremely attracted to. The only problem was that he was engaged the entire time. He said he was going to stop when they officially tied the knot, and good for him, he did. (Although I have a feeling I’ll hear from him again some day…lol.)

  85. Enigma SD says:

    We agree Rose. I was with my first SB for about 2 years, and we never exchanged pictures before we met, mainly because she had a bad experience with pictures and the internet. However, we had provided each other with general descriptions. I think the preferences on pictures/attractiveness encompasses a broad spectrum. I have seen a number of SB profiles that have stated that I don’t care as much about your attractiveness, as long as you are fit. There were some posts within the past month that seemed to echo that sentiment. For me, level of fitness and attractiveness are intimately intertwined.

    p.s. Welcome to the blog, Rose.

  86. Enigma ~ I also stated that “no one wants to sleep next to someone that repulses them.” lol. It’s easier for me not to worry or get worked up about pics, because nine times out of ten nothing comes of e~mails. On top of that, if it does work out, and we do meet… we’ll see if we have an attraction then, won’t we? lol.

  87. Enigma SD says:

    Rose — from my experience, most SBs care somewhat (or even a lot) about the appearance of their SD, and it is my opinion, that they should. I never hear again from about 75% of the SBs that I send my pics. It used to bother me, but then I realized I only am attracted to about 1 in 20 of the SB profiles.

  88. Enigma SD says:

    Toronto Blondie — I did not say it was rude for an SB to ask for pics in the first or second email. If I am mistaken, would you please point me to the time and date of that posting, please? In fact, if you read my earlier post, I said I thought the SB should not fake or pretend to like their SD.

  89. OK… So, i think some people took what i wrote wrong, or possibly slightly out of context… lol.

    I didn’t say that asking for pics was “rude” or that it was “wrong” in any way… Just because I personally don’t ask for them, doesn’t mean anything. Of course we all WANT our cake and eat it too… I just don’t expect it… lol.

    I simply said that it surprised me they would be THAT worried about it that they would ask in the first or second e~mail, as EnigmaSD stated…

  90. NYC SB says:

    Hey… I go off on vacay and am quoted on the blog :) hope you are all playing nicely

  91. torontoblondie says:

    @sugarsugar yes sometimes boys forget that they didn’t reply and assume that you were the one that forgot to reply. That is a possibility

    But the moment it happened makes it seem suspicious…. some men come on here to search for young nieve girls that don’t know how a sugar daddy works – instead they give them false promises or ‘try to start a relationship without the sugar’ …. the fact that you brought up the sugar and then he disappeared makes me wonder if it could be the latter instead of the former.

    Either way, it doesn’t hurt to email him a quick “hey sorry I think I forgot to reply to your last message, how are you?” message (even though it was him lol :p) – if he doesn’t reply to that then he’s definitely a flake, and if he does, still wait and see if he will discuss the sugar, it doesn’t take much more time out of your day as it seems like you’ve already invested some time into him.

    • SD Guru says:

      @TorontoBlondie
      Like beach stated, I hate the men that literally think that as their sugar baby I am here to be a sex toy.

      What if it’s the SB that wants to turn her SD into a sex toy?? It sounds like that’s what you’re about to do with your younger gorgeous SD!! 😉

      @CardsFanSD
      And I am still… smitten terribly with my 4 dates/ 5 tomorrow, 3 a week when our schedules mesh… and I believe she’s smitten a bit as well.

      So is she a pot SB, SB, or GF?? With all those dates, you still had time to become jaded by other pot SB’s?? :) 3 times a week sounds like she’s GF material, but for a married man it could be too much of a good thing. I see a slippery slope in your future so please tread carefully.

      @Kiangel
      I had to deal with a month of blackmail (which resulted in one more night) an after a three month disappearance him making contact and wanting me to be his gf.

      I’m sorry to hear about your experience. There is no excuse for his behavior. Although you didn’t provide a lot of details, it sounds like my golden rules for sugar dating were broken…

      1. Don’t reward bad behavior
      2. Don’t ignore warning signs
      3. Don’t expect someone’s behavior to change over time.

      I hope you’ll learn from your experience and screen relentlessly for your next sugar relationship.

      @Rose
      shouldn’t we (as SB’s) be more worried about if you’re compatible with our goals, personality, and the other aspects of the arrangement first?

      For some SB’s the physical attraction and chemistry are just as important as the aspects you mentioned. I don’t see anything wrong with that. If they can have their cake and eat it too then why not.

      Sugarsugar
      Please help me so I don’t write him to ask what is up and make a bigger fool of myself. I need a support group here LOL

      DON’T EMAIL HIM!! 😛
      OTOH, it doesn’t hurt to send him a reminder. I hope I’m being helpful! 😆

  92. sugarsugar says:

    When I first started here I always asked for pics fairly soon. Now I don’t even bother because 9.999 times out of 10 it never goes anywhere anyway.

    Speaking of which-

    A pot SD e-mailed me from another state. Said I sounded great. Wants to come to my city this summer. He asked for more pics. I sent them. He was still interested. We chatted more about doing fun things. The convo never turned to sex. Was a really nice exchange. I asked him if he ever was an SD before at the end of one of my e-mails. That was about 7 days ago.

    Please fellow bloggers..tell me not to e-mail him. I know that if he wants to be in touch and actually have this arrangement he would have written back even if he is busy. So obviously he has lost interest. Please help me so I don’t write him to ask what is up and make a bigger fool of myself. I need a support group here LOL

    It’s not like he lost my e-mail address, right? He has logged in at SA since he last wrote

    Has anyone ever had a pot who seemed so interested and then went MIA only to return a few weeks later and have it actually turn into an arrangement?

  93. torontoblondie says:

    @ Enigma and anyone else wondering why a ‘woman’ would be so ‘rude’ to ask for pictures right away.

    Sorry but sometimes it helps to think ‘outside’ on the box. Sugar babies get to sign up for free, some males have a fetish to sign up as females in order to talk to males as they get pleasure in doing so. These men get a ‘thrill’ from either a) wasting a guys time or b) pretending to be a female. There are many theories done the less, it’s free and easy for them to do.

    Even if a female asked for pictures so abruptly, you have to understand that is how all the other men on the site ask, and maybe it becomes second skin and one assumes that is how they are supposed to ask. 2) I always ask for a guys picture and if they won’t send one I’ll never meet them, yes my goals are important but if I didn’t care what they looked like, I’d work for an agency.

    my sugar daddy now that is younger is gorgeous, he actually emailed me months ago and I didn’t respond because I thought he was fake (b/c his pics were too good :p) we’ll be back at the Thompson tomorrow, hopefully the weather is good so we can go back on the roof :) sooooooooo excited to see him :) :) :) :) :) :)

  94. Dallasbaby says:

    Rcheck- I think it is just a way to get guys to get started on the site, but they soon find out not many will take that offer. I also think the guy has to pay 20.00 to make an offer in general per girl so could be just a play on words.

  95. The Lone Gunman says:

    This seems like a very strange plan to me. Am I missing something?

    Nope, don’t think you’ve missed a thing. You can probably draw a pretty good conclusion as to what may be happening to create such a promotional attempt.

    More than that I will not say, since I don’t often court the Banhammer these days.

    TLG

  96. Rcheck says:

    I noticed on the WYP blog they are planning to have an ‘Average Joe’ from their staff get first dates with Ten attractive women at $20 a date. Not kidding. They plan on filming the dates.

    So apparently they are trying to sell the idea that $20 will get you a date with a hot gal.

    This seems like a very strange plan to me. Am I missing something?

  97. There’s that discretion thing we were talking about… lol.

  98. SA Blog Gods says:

    Please take care not to reveal too many details. You wouldn’t want an unexpected guest or wife to greet you at said rendezvous, would you?

  99. Dallasbaby says:

    Go Cleo !!!! whoot whoot ! I knew I liked you for some reason !

  100. RedMaru says:

    Hey sugars! Got to go home early our server is down plus our building had a bomb scare. Wow enough for one day!

  101. cleo says:

    um someone delete her last comment… geeze honey, have some care milady

  102. Honey says:

    typo-so he CAN come back

  103. Honey says:

    Meeting my Sweetie for a quick rendezvous! That’s how I keep it fresh and new. I had him take me to lunch and then I had him drop me off at my place so he come back back in an hour after finding us a cute little place to spend a few hours..then off to school for me!!

  104. Cleo ~ Me either. It’s not supposed to be about that…

  105. cleo says:

    rose i never even ask potentials for a pic unless they offer… don’t care. it’s so not about their looks for me but about so much more than that…

  106. Cleo ~ I can relate to just about all of your statements. It’s kind of ridiculous how many crazy people are on here… lol. (And yes I mean both ways.)

    Enigma ~ It surprises me that the women on a site like this would be so worried about pics. I know that there has to be a physical attraction (no one wants to lie in bed next to someone who completely repulses them) but the fact of the matter is that they shouldn’t be AS important to the SB as the SD. I mean… shouldn’t we (as SB’s) be more worried about if you’re compatible with our goals, personality, and the other aspects of the arrangement first? If you’re really in it for the “benefits” of the arrangement, i would think that’s how it should work…

  107. CardsFanSD says:

    @Rose — And it’s not always the most fun thing — but do follow Enigma’s advice — call them. You are not the only one with this sort of thing happening. Even if they don’t like it — document it (date/time/who you spoke to acct/case#, etc). Should you go to court, you can show effort and good faith on your side. Helps tons.

  108. Thanks for all the good advice guys… The situation just blindsided me a little. I was doing so darn good… saving money… living life. I thought I was past this. I’m going to pay some of it… NOT drain my entire account (I need to keep a cushion just in case) and see what I can do to pay the rest as I can. If that’s not good enough they can kiss my cute “rosey” butt!!! lol.

  109. cleo says:

    oh dear me yes, more times than i can count!

    and i even totally forgot to mention the GREAT CONDOM DEBACLE because so many men just seem to think they can choose not to use them sans discussion. happened to me at least twice in the last calendar year… “um excuse me? get that away from there without a rain coat or get the hell out of my bed!”

  110. Enigma SD says:

    Same thing happens to SDs — I write a thoughtful paragraph to an SB and I get back a note that says…. send pics to “email address” which I promptly go next — can’t take a minute to write at least one more sentence back?

  111. LASB says:

    Hi Cleo! Ok, yes, I can relate to a lot of what you say. Do you ever write to someone because their profile sounds super thoughtful? So maybe you compliment them and ask if you’d like to get to know each other and maybe talk about the parts of their profile that you could relate to. Then they give no follow up on anything you say, but just a one liner of “Send more pics,” or “Do you give good blow jobs?” and you’re left to wonder, “really?! Is this the same guy who wrote that profile?”

  112. cleo says:

    oh yeah one more

    – SDs who drop communications mid conversation and then pick it back up ages later – often ignoring anything in the convo that matters to the sb…

  113. cleo says:

    LASB that is solid advice, in fact she could probably get away with a third for now…

  114. cleo says:

    What if anything are you weary of when it comes to searching for sugar, or being in a sugar relationship?

    – SDs who email all the right words and disappear when you start planning to meet
    – SDs who say all the right things but refuse to discuss the terms of the arrangement be it communication frequency, allowance or long term expectations
    – SDs who are full of “gonna’s” but no “do’s”
    – SDs who think nothing of cancelling or flaking at the last second because you’re “only an sb”
    – SDs who think an allowance is “icky” but it’s okay to fuck me while they’re married
    – SDs who expect me to put out within an hour of meeting them but don’t want to talk terms
    – SDs for whom i actually put out who then decide that they don’t want to be SDs after all because they want something “real”
    – SDs who complain about what they get without ever considering what they don’t give
    – SDs who give what they want (aka adorn me so i’m hotter) but never hear a word about what i NEED
    – SDs who think “mutually beneficial” means they get lots of blow jobs and i don’t even get cab fare
    – SDs who treat sb’s like sexual slaves whose own needs are irrelevant
    – SDs who think dinner is “spoiling”
    – SDs on SA who think nothing of requesting private photos and never saying a word to me…
    – etc

    these haven’t ALL happened to me, just most

    What codes of conduct do you think are most often violated in the Sugar World?

    the one where you treat people with respect and act by the golden rule. a lot of sb’s treat sd’s as walking atm’s and a lot of sd’s treat sb’s as blow up dolls whose brains are simply inconvenient

    How would you manage love in a sugar relationship if you must?

    love and sugar? i wouldn’t take it seriously until the arrangement was a minimum of six months long (single SD) to a year (married SD) and even then I would consider it a flight of fancy and expect myself to get hurt.

    but then, who can control love? if you fall you fall… but then, i’m not sure i can fall past a certain point anymore. a lot of disappointment, raised and then dashed hopes and a whole lot of bullshit mean i just don’t take anyone seriously until TIME changes my opinion. i’ll let you in but i won’t believe in you for at least six months and even then i’ll still hesitate for a long time.

    How is your sugarlife?

    hmm, i have some hot shoes and some nice clothes but i don’t have an SD… i had a lot of potential sd’s swimming in my pool but most of them have left of their own accord or sunk to the bottom… so i guess i’m back to nothing. but at least it’s nothing with a better wardrobe now…

  115. LASB says:

    Rose – Send them a partial payment that is large enough that they won’t want to sue. Make sure it’s a check, so it’s traceable to you, so they can’t say you didn’t pay, and make sure that somewhere on the check it says “partial payment,” so if you do go to court, you can prove that you were doing your best to try to pay it back, but couldn’t do it all at once. Also, don’t pay your whole bank account. Just pay enough to deter them from suing you. Based on what you owe and what you make, you will have to draw this out some, and will probably have to send them another portion later, to keep stringing them along until you can pay it off.
    I’ve personally never done anything like that, but I’ve seen it done quite frequently to people’s landlords, and the electric company. Finally, I should say, know the laws in your area. The laws in LA makes it nearly impossible to evict someone, even if they stopped paying rent. Even squatters have rights! Ridiculous, but I suppose if I were up sh*t creek, I would think it was cool.

  116. cleo says:

    rose if you pay more than half what you owe and offer a payment plan for the rest won’t the courts laugh at them for trying to sue you? (not american sorry, legitimately asking)

    also don’t they have credit counselling services there?

  117. Enigma SD says:

    Rose — they say they are going to take you to court, but in reality, that will take at least 30 days. but CardsFan has giving you a good option also.

  118. There’s an option… I’m cute, intelligent, and talented… I’m sure i could get a few dates… lol. Thanks for the input Enigma and CardsFanSD. I appreciate it…

  119. CardsFanSD says:

    There is the dating site, what’s your price? I’d personally have fewer issues with that route, than hitting up an SD. Money on the first date is expected, and you are meeting more pots, etc.

  120. I wouldn’t want them to help me without an arrangement in place, and I DON’T want to lower my standards to make one with someone I’m not completely comfortable with just to pay my bills…

    What guess I need are some better options…lol.

  121. CardsFanSD says:

    @Just call me Rose: If you don’t have a relationship/strong chemistry with a pot, then it will likely come across as treating them like an ATM, no matter how you bring it up.

    However, if the SD is a generous/helpful, they *may* assist you — but again, I would suspect some trust at least, would need to be in place first. For me it would.

  122. Well, that’s my point… I don’t want to ask them. It wouldn’t be right.

    I tried calling and speaking to the lady on the phone, and from what I gather… they want it all by Friday next week, or they’re taking me to court…

  123. Enigma SD says:

    Rose – sorry for your situation, but if you ask a potential SD for help, there is a high probability we will move on. Can you call the people that you owe the money and set up a payment plan with them? I think they would like that much better than getting nothing.

  124. Enigma SD says:

    I guess I should answer this because it was my topic suggestion. Here are some things:

    Here are some things that are unacceptable for an SD

    1) sending genital pics
    2) asking for a phone number in first email
    3) discussing sex in first email
    4) making degrading or negative comments on an SB’s appearance
    5) unwilling to provide a photo at some point
    6) expecting an SB to cover travel expenses or any expenses to come visit you, even if it is just gas money
    7) not bringing up the allowance discussion
    8) using the site to find a girlfriend
    9) not coming through on an allowance
    10) treating an SB like an escort

    Some things that are unacceptable for an SB

    1) asking the SD to wire an allowance (not travel costs) prior to meeting him
    2) bringing up the allowance in the first email
    3) threatening to expose him, e.g. call his wife or post his cell number on public bulletin board sites, etc
    4) pretending/faking to like your SD (e.g. not having sex because you are repulsed by him, even though you took the allowance)
    5) treating like your SD like an ATM
    6) not thanking your SD for the things he has done for you

    For both parties, if you are in a sugar relationship, and if you become unhappy or you feel the arrangement needs to change, then you need to openly communicate that.

    Just some opinions/thoughts and certainly not exhaustive.

  125. OK guys… I had a situation arise in my life today that made me think of a good question… Or at least one that I would personally like some help with… lol.

    My current situation: I’ve been on the site for 3 years. I’ve had 2 decent sugar arrangements, and in that time managed to save enough to sustain my situation for a little while. I’m looking for the traditional type arrangement, and don’t need that to change. I’m content with what I have and I’m not greedy…lol.

    Today I got hit with a bill that is ridiculous!!!! (It’s a little over 3x my rent, and I have less than a week to pay it.) Even with ALL of my savings I’m going to be short $987. I don’t want to lower my standards and ask one of my potentials to cover it, because that’s rude. I’m not in any sort of arrangement with them, and i just feel it would be wrong. Plus, I don’t want them to think that I’m treating them like walking ATM’s. So, my question is… how do I come up with this sort of money without appearing like a gold digger, and/or lowering my standards? (BTW… one weeks paycheck is usually only about $300 ~ $350 after taxes… and overtime, so that’s not much help. Besides the fact that it would leave me COMPLETELY broke.)

  126. Honey says:

    Oh, okay, that’s for filling me in. I’m usually the one asking dumb questions and I wanted to keep that open for everyone…LOL! I’m getting over a cold, catching up on the blog.

  127. Kiangel says:

    I would say the biggest annoyance and deterrent for me would be when an sd decides he just wants you as a gf. I moved to NYC from Boston earlier this year where I had a yearlong very satisfying arrangement. I figured i had had luck with the site before so why not. I met with a pot out here and after a lot of back and forth agreed to go on a few dates. After one evening and the bank account having the cash removed (stop payment) the next day. I had to deal with a month of blackmail (which resulted in one more night) an after a three month disappearance him making contact and wanting me to be his gf. If he wanted a gf why was he on that site instead of match.com? Sorry to rant but it’s cost me emotionally and financially (pet sitter, late for work, etc)

  128. cleo says:

    hey blog gods can you give torontoblondie my email address? thanks!

  129. CardsFanSD says:

    @Reach the Beach SB

    It’s been fine.. I am just a tinier bit — just a tinier bit… wiser and more experienced than I was a month ago when I joined. Did I say tiny?

    I know that right now, I have one woman I am seeing and enjoying immensely, and I think we are both trying to figure it out, and what it is, and how we feel, but it’s been great for both of us, I think she’d agree, and much fun.

    If it doesn’t work out, it doesn’t, and at that point, I’ll step back and take care of some business and personal issues that need more attention than i am currently giving time to. And when those are resolved/in a better spot, then I think I’d return with a bit more energy to look again.

    At that point, I’m definitely open to other thoughts on profiles, etc. 😉

    Thank you!

  130. CardsFanSD says:

    @CardsFanSD

    Looks like you’ve learned a few lessons the hard way about trust and not taking everything at face value in the sugar world. What happened with the pot SB that you had 4 great dates with? And what about the unbridled enthusiasm and optimism when you came to the blog just a few weeks ago??

    She is the one I’m spending more time with, and getting to know better, and we are still having a fantastic time together 😉

    I reread what I wrote. Ha, sounds pretty jaded. I’d just say, a little more wary, is part of it. A clearer idea of what I am looking for – which is good. Great, actually. A better idea of how this can — and can’t work, for me at least.

    And I am still… smitten terribly with my 4 dates/ 5 tomorrow, 3 a week when our schedules mesh… and I believe she’s smitten a bit as well. It’s a lot of fun, between the jaded moments. 😉

  131. cleo says:

    reach the beach: lush was the store next to the lounge/restaurant/club we went to on saturday night…

  132. Reach the Beach SB says:

    Cards Fan – I understand being a little sugar-shy when you feel like an ATM. Trust your instincts and know that you will find an SB who genuinely likes who you are as well as what you offer. You’re very quick to let someone in (valet your heart) and haven’t given time for that lady to show her true colors. Perhaps looking at the screening link to the right will be helpful. I’m always open to looking at profiles and helping pick out red flags if it interests you. (Consider it sharing perspectives as I know that no man on this site “needs help” picking a lady)

  133. Reach the Beach SB says:

    Guru – weak moment.

    Actually, I exchanged e-mails with Bibaby fairly recently. It would be odd if the two of them became friends, but stranger things have happened in the sugar world.

    Honey – Before you started posting, there was a troll on here who would “stir the pot” for no other reason that to get people fighting with each other. The name was referenced in the above post. Guru’s right in that there is probably a reason that name was mentioned.

    BTW – I love the LUSH site! Great fun in the tub! I think Cleo took me to one of their retail locations during the meet she organized…same place Cleo?

    French Vanilla coffee to get my day started! Goodwill is coming to collect half the stuff in my basement…Yay for Spring cleaning! That and an upcoming break for school means I might get two weeks of nothing but play time before summer classes start!

  134. LASB says:

    SD Guru – You must have been reading my mind! Those “one hit wonder” types always raise my suspicion. Also, I agree that it didn’t take Cards much time to get as jaded as the rest of you! :)

  135. Honey says:

    Texas Sugah has a blog and surely someone has mentioned goal digger for more hints, tips and tricks.

    • SD Guru says:

      @RTB, Rose, and others

      It’s not a coincidence that a purported lurker appears out of the blue to ask about Spiritual and stir the pot. Recognize a bait when you see it and don’t take the bait!! 😛

      @CadsFanSD

      Looks like you’ve learned a few lessons the hard way about trust and not taking everything at face value in the sugar world. What happened with the pot SB that you had 4 great dates with? And what about the unbridled enthusiasm and optimism when you came to the blog just a few weeks ago?? :)

      @TLG
      What I find I’m looking for is… more like the BF/GF type of life, with a healthy dose of hedonism thrown in for both of us since I don’t believe in total monogamy.

      A BF/GF type of relationship without the monogamy?? I guess you’re into uncharted territory here, or maybe we’ll see you at a swingers club somewhere… :mrgreen:

  136. Honey says:

    I understand, agree and concur Rose and Reach!!
    I was just saying it’s hard to tell whom to mentor one’s self to, that’s all.
    How does one tell someone is is up to giving advice from the ones getting it?
    Is someone in the lifestyle or not in the lifestyle? What does it look like to someone who has had only her first sugarbaby type relationship?and stuff like that….
    I personally don’t take offense at the “wanna-be” label,I’, old school maybe others mind more.

  137. LASB says:

    Reach the Beach and Just Call me Rose – I like your bluntness and I don’t feel you overreacted. You just said what needed to be said.

  138. BTW Honey… I wasn’t bringing the “wanna be stuff” up out of the blue… Her comment stated that she would “love a chance to relate with true sugars.” As if to say that we aren’t… It kind of ticked me off… so again I apologize… but I don’t feel I overreacted. It was rude… lol.

  139. RedMaru says:

    Btw i wish i could go to sugar meet in vegas. I wish thwy would hold one in ATL they sound like so much fun.

  140. RedMaru says:

    Okay made it home! Hey cleo thanks for the tip Im going to try to catch an episode and pick up on some pics!

  141. Reach the Beach SB says:

    Lurking – If you’re so “active” then I’m sure you could tell the rest of us where the “active” blogs exist. Would love to hear your findings…many of us are probably a member of them.

    Sorry for my bluntness, but really?

  142. I apologize if I came across that way… by no means am I trying to insult anyone or insinuate that I am bigger or better than anyone. Far from it actually… I couldn’t be perfect… It’s too much work…lol. I like just being me…

  143. Honey says:

    It can be a scary world out there,in real life as well in the sugar world.And we have been hearing too many stories of sugar gone wrong lately.We need to learn from each other.
    Sugar, like cotton candy, can melt away quickly. It can be so sweet and fluffy but it can burn if you don’t know how to work with it. fragile, delicate and sweet but too much can make you sick. That’s why it’s not recommended for kids.And that’s why I like this blog,it tells you what temperature to set the candy thermometer!

  144. Honey says:

    Ladies-Just call me Rose. love your insights,except lighten up on the wanna be stuff. Look back, you will see I made the same mistakes, bigger and better when I first splashed on the board. She meant no harm….I personally like the new board, it is addictive and sometimes I don’t read all the old posts, so it CAN be hard to keep up with what is going on. But I like being able to drop in and ask questions, even stupid ones. It is good practice to be able to get one’s point across without name calling, Which I am in no way, shape or form accusing you of. I just like new and old people giving their opinion on their view of the sugar lifestyle. I again recommend for the newbies getting a book , (I hear there are one or two around), treat it like school.

  145. Lurkingbaby ~ Did it ever occur to you that coming in here, skimming the sight for your friends, reading half of the posts, and being rude isn’t a good way to start a conversation? I hate to tell you this sweets… but one yr on the sight, and one good sugar relationship does not make you a “true sugar.” Those of us that are talking about our past relationships are trying to help the new sugars establish themselves, and get their feet in the door. I personally, was answering a question that specifically asked about our past experiences…

    As far as not having what it takes to make it in the lifestyle… (I can’t speak for the others… but) just because my sugar life is non~existent (at the moment) doesn’t mean I’m not in the life. It means that I’m taking my time, screening my prospects, and not setting for what I don’t want. I’m in it for the “traditional” one on one sort of arrangement. I’ve had a few decent ones as I’ve stated, and saved enough from those to have the means to do so…

  146. CardsFanSD says:

    What if anything are you weary of when it comes to searching for sugar, or being in a sugar relationship?

    Trust. Trusting the truth behind what I’m hearing from the other party. That’s the most vital thing to me. And there are many good actresses out there.

    What codes of conduct do you think are most often violated in the Sugar World?

    Well, I’m not sure where the whole code of conduct list is, but, I do question if people really know what “Classy” is, because it appears much more in profiles than it does in meetings.

    How would you manage love in a sugar relationship if you must?

    Ya, great question. How do you? I don’t know. I know I’m pretty straightforward about my feelings and inclinations, and prefer openness and honesty. If I’m feeling it, both parties will know. And if the trust is there… it should be fine. And if it’s not mutual, it’s not. Move on.

    How is your sugarlife?

    I find it’s a challenge to take SB’s word at face value, because there are so many factors in it all. Ha, like the one SB “OMG you are the best kisser ever”? Really? Thanks. But um, that was the worst ever for me. I think you just liked the shopping spree, really. Next!

    You miss me? *me* me? or *wallet* me? Whichever is fine, but… don’t make it sound like one, if it’s the other. I don’t need that.

    So, I’m spending time getting to know one person I met here better. See where that goes. Then, I’m definitely done for a while until I feel up to dealing with it all again.

  147. Honey says:

    Lurkingbaby, I see this blog as a how to, what not to do type blog, No june cleaver and others have lifestyle blogs on the right of the page to look at.

  148. torontoblondie says:

    cleo just noticed your message, coffee sounds better lol I’m not much of a drinker. I think I have a drink once a month :p

  149. torontoblondie says:

    leerking yes there is a community of babies on facebook – you can find goal digger and a view of the well known ones on there. and then through their friends you can find who you are looking for :)

  150. cleo says:

    wow, just wow.

  151. lurkingbaby says:

    Hello ~ I joined this site about a year ago, and really enjoyed lurking on the blog this past summer. I got real busy (found some sugar!) and have not been around for many months. I just popped in today, and am wondering – what happened? Where are some of the original “cast members”, so to speak? BiBaby? SpiritualBaby? etc.? Maybe they have found an sd? Because that is what I noticed – there are some who are always here, but they seem to have left the sugar scene behind, to just talk about their past here on this blog. Or the ones who just use this blog, but do not have what it takes to have the sugar lifestyle. Can anyone tell me if there is an actual active sugar community online, like at facebook or something? Is that where BiBaby and Spiritual went? I would love to relate to those who are true sugars. I understand that this is the “SeekingArrangement” blog, for those who are seeking. Once you are in an arrangement, where do you go to blog?

  152. Good day everyone… I figured since I’m actually a newbie blogger that I might take a stab at the questions… lol.

    What if anything are you weary of when it comes to searching for sugar, or being in a sugar relationship?

    I think the fact that there are so many fakes and flakes on here takes away from those of us that are real. There are thousands (probably more like millions) of SB’s in the world today, and it’s tiring to see good pot SD’s turn bitter, and mistrusting over being burned repeatedly. Sugar relationships can be complicated, and they have certain rules that come with the territory… but the pleasure for both parties is supposed to outweigh the difficulties. When SB’s or SD’s are fake and don’t do what they say, or flake out at the last minute… it’s hard to take the TRUE ones seriously…

    What codes of conduct do you think are most often violated in the Sugar World?

    (See answer above…lol)

    How would you manage love in a sugar relationship if you must?

    I just take everything one step at a time. It is what it is, and you can’t fight the ocean… lol. If it’s mutual… all’s well. If it’s one sided, it’s probably best to cut the “strings” sooner rather than later in my experience…

    How is your sugarlife?

    Non~existent at the moment… just starting again. Hope it turns out a little better this time ;~)

  153. The Lone Gunman says:

    @SD Guru:

    You make valid points. I brought this up because I suspect that many in this world reach this point at some time, and since I have nothing to lose or gain am willing to be the one who speaks up about it here.

    TLG

  154. The Lone Gunman says:

    @Lily:

    My gut feeling is that if I go this route that readjustment won’t be as difficult as some might believe. What I find I’m looking for is something beyond the occasional meeting, and more like the BF/GF type of life, with a healthy dose of hedonism thrown in for both of us since I don’t believe in total monogamy.

    TLG

  155. Lily says:

    TLG – are you sure you don’t have somewhat of an idea of the aspects of the sugarbowl you have found attractive, and whether or not omitting any of those aspects will take some getting used to if they are no longer there to enjoy (i.e. if you switch to the normal dating pool and start dating non-SBs)…? I’m just curious. I find it fascinating -this concept of how will an ex-SD re acclimate himself to the non-sugar dating scene? Seamlessly? With a bit of painful adjustment? Forgive my onslaught of questions, darling. :)

    • SD Guru says:

      @TLG
      I’m finding myself wanting more than I am getting–and also stretched thin at the same time…

      Sounds like you’re experiencing sugar fatigue and contemplating an exit strategy, which is not unusual for SD’s who have been in the sugar world for a long time. Since you’re not married, the two possible paths you could take are (1) turn one of your SB’s into a GF, or (2) look for an IRL GF through traditional dating. Neither path is easy and will require major adjustments. Or maybe there are other options I haven’t thought of. I’d suggest that you think it through carefully before taking action. Good luck!

  156. torontoblondie says:

    I’ve only had it happen twice – both because the guys actually thought that I was developing feelings for them and didn’t need $$$ to meet them. lol yeah right

    but I think we are avoiding the typical question — this isn’t for me (as I stated I got my dues at the end of it) but what would people typically do in the situation. (no walking out of the sugar game wasn’t an option for me – just walking away from him was :p there’s plenty of other men out there :p )

    I know some sugar babies talk about how they make their sugar daddies sign an agreement for 6 months, etc etc, a pretty odd thing to do from my point because most men won’t agree to that.

  157. The Lone Gunman says:

    Lily said:
    TLG – so do you think you are ready to give up the habit of dating SBs and be satisfied with the offerings in the traditional dating market pool? You’re sure you’re not spoiled by the sugar babies you’ve gotten accustomed to?

    Good question–and one that I have no definitive answer for.

    TLG

  158. cleo says:

    red i watched america’s next top model for photo advice!

  159. RedMaru says:

    Afternoon sugars! Boring day at work our server is down so we can hardly do anything of anything. Checking the blog on my phone. Hey Honey if youre still here I actually went down about four sizes. From what I.ve read in the blog my castoffs would be waay too big…lol
    Trying to update photos asap on profile i wish i knew the best angle to take them from to show off figure

  160. Reach the Beach SB says:

    Rephrase – I’ve never had an SD stop giving me an allowance to see him.

  161. Reach the Beach SB says:

    Torontoblondie – I’ve never had an SD stop giving me an allowance. Then it wouldn’t be sugar, would it?

    TLG – Hearts are breaking all over candyland! You need an adventurous soul to wander with you! I want to meet you in person once before you depart!

  162. Dallasbaby says:

    Cleo that’s a great idea ! You two could be the best of sugar baby friends ! awww

  163. @ torontoblondie ~ You asked : “What do you do when a sugar daddy STOPS giving allowance but still has dates with you but maybe less frequent cause he’s busy?”

    My answer to this would be… That if he stops giving you an allowance, but still expects you to “date him” then he just stepped out of the sugar world all together. Besides the fact that if he’s not living up to his end of the arrangement, then he’s not a very good SD to begin with…

  164. Lily says:

    TLG – so do you think you are ready to give up the habit of dating SBs and be satisfied with the offerings in the traditional dating market pool? You’re sure you’re not spoiled by the sugar babies you’ve gotten accustomed to?

  165. cleo says:

    torontoblondie we should get a drink sometime…?

  166. torontoblondie says:

    ^^^^^^^^^ I know for the guys reading that they don’t want to seem as walking atms, but I wouldn’t even be on here or with these men if it weren’t for the ‘mutual benefiting’ part and if you want a hot piece of arm candy don’t do it with false promises :p ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

    I had that happen before too – when I’d just go on normal gym dates etc I wouldn’t get any allowance but when I’d go back to his place I would — this was after like 3 months together — he started to think that I actually just liked spending time together……. time is money honey and guess what it doesn’t always involve dirty time (this was from a sugar daddy that originally only wanted to give oral to a female sugar baby — no sex)

  167. torontoblondie says:

    actually sugar sugar brought up a great question, something we should address in this blog – as we are addressing expectations it seems like a lot.

    so here is my proposed question: “What do you do when a sugar daddy STOPS giving allowance but still has dates with you but maybe less frequent cause he’s busy

    I know for myself I had a previous sugar daddy that I knew to be very wealthy and he had a sugar baby that was twice my age and he gave her 5 g a month and then I would practically have to beg when I wanted money, BEG. I just got so fed up with it because if i wanted it the first week he would be out of town and busy etc etc or I wouldn’t really even see him that often and when he was in town he’d want me to be available out of thin air. I’m not seeing him anymore, I finally just went to the bank with him pissed off one day and said, I want my allowance and then after 3 days (just to make sure he can’t touch my money 😉 ) I left him, When a girl has to ask it makes me feel like a desperate hooker, didn’t make me feel sexy one bit.

    I remember when sometimes i’d ask (bc i wanted the full 5) id just say ‘what ur pervious sugar baby got’ and he’d say well every money was different sometimes she only needed 3 etc. Grrrrrr. Anywho, I remember the first month he said he started at 1 with his sugar baby and then ever month increased it by 1 thousand to a max of 5. I told him that won’t even cover my rent and he said he’d start at 3, so I think I agreed to that. Pretty vague memory right now. ((((((keep in mind this was another pot that i didn’t have sex with – i’m pretty picky on who i have sex with :p )))))))

    except for my new young pot I should give him a name, he’s so fashionable and sexy, not gonna like I may have had sex with him on the first date only because I realllllyyy wanted to :p :p :p wanted to fly me out to Montreal tonight but I’m too scared with the thunderstorms that are supposed to happen later on, and no I won’t tell him that :p But I also have never flown alone so not really comfortable with that :p I’ll wait until we go to LA on the same plane together :p lol we Skype every night until 2 am, I was bad and let him watch me take a showerrrrrr :p or I made him b/c I put my laptop in the washroom with me :) :) Soooo smitten for him <3

  168. Honey says:

    TLG- Having met you in person and thinking you were/are a great smart, (very smart) cool guy who is NOT too hard on the eyes(My daddy does not like me to to look at other guys ,so I wasn’t looking at you over dinner, so I just know you are tall…and a gentleman )maybe I THINK I understand.
    I think you realized you CAN have your cake and eat it too!!! You have been in the “game” have figured it out and are ready to move on to the next stage of your life. Right?

  169. The Lone Gunman says:

    cleo asks:
    i’m confused, why would you leave if you’re successful? seems like a reason to stay to me…

    Lily Asks:
    I concur, what is the problemo? Are you feeling kid-in-the-candy-store angst about so many options, so little time….?

    I’m finding myself wanting more than I am getting–and also stretched thin at the same time because of scheduling now and in the future. While some folks may not think that’s a consideration, living in my skin gives me a different slant–I’m not giving a partner the attention she truly deserves from someone in a relationship, be it Sugar or otherwise.

    I guess I’m interested in settling down. Has all the feelings of such. Yet I am also a wanderer by nature.

    Paradox!

    TLG

  170. @ TLG I think those qualities that TRUE sugars look for in each other are the same qualities that we look for in our everyday relationships… be it friendships or more. (Honesty, integrity, and kindness… for starters.) Those same SB’s that would treat you like a walking ATM probably aren’t very good people to begin with. Those are more than likely the type to acts like the world “owes” them just for gracing it with their presence…lol. Even out of the Sugar Bowl, you’re going to deal with all different kinds of people from all different walks of life. I wish you luck if you do jump out… but you should know that not all of us are like that sweets… =D

  171. Lily says:

    I concur, what is the problemo? Are you feeling kid-in-the-candy-store angst about so many options, so little time….?

  172. cleo says:

    i’m confused, why would you leave if you’re successful? seems like a reason to stay to me…

  173. The Lone Gunman says:

    What if anything are you weary of when it comes to searching for sugar, or being in a sugar relationship?

    Two things come to mind: the tendency to treat the SD as a walking ATM, and dealing with pot SBs who have no clue–even after screening–that you mean what you say when describing what you seek in an SD/SB arrangement–something mutually beneficial.

    What codes of conduct do you think are most often violated in the Sugar World?

    Just about all of them at some point. What bugs me the most are those who agree to a meeting, and then poof without a word. Just not polite, IMO.

    How would you manage love in a sugar relationship if you must?

    Depends. Is it one-sided? if so, better to think about ways to get over the fixation as soon as possible.

    Is it both? Better examine if you have a real shot at a future together and see where you BOTH want to go with the relationship, warts and all.

    How is your sugarlife?

    Far more successful than it probably should be. It appears that many of the qualities that SBs like in an SD have magically manifested themselves in my person. I’m seriously considering leaving the Sugar World because of this.

    TLG

  174. Reach the Beach SB says:

    Staci – Definitely “next” him and cease all communication. I hope he didn’t try to get you to sleep with him. Honey is right in that you shouldn’t use your funds to travel to him. In fact, it’s best for your safety if he comes to you on the first meeting. I have had SDs from different states and they flew in to see me, have dinner, then leave. They had business in nearby cities, but they fit a date into their trip and were complete gentlemen. We discussed arrangement terms over the next few days, and agreed on terms. THEN, and only then, I would travel to them. Don’t be afraid you’re going to run him off by making those requests…it’s a handy screening tool. If he’s genuinely interested and a true gentlemen, you will know right away. Read the posts to the right and learn about first meets, traveling, safety, etc.

    Welcome newbies!

    Honey – I was checking out the LUSH site yesterday…yummy!

    Cleo – I seem to remember an issue about an ER doc too, but can’t completely recall. How are ya?

    Dreamed about Kevin Costner last night…mmmmmm

    Happy belated birthday NYC SB!! I hope you’re enjoying your break! XOXO

  175. cleo says:

    mandishsu look in the sidebar on the right, tehre are links to a lot of information including for newbie sugars. maybe go read that and then ask your questions?

  176. mandishsu says:

    i just signed up for the sb thing any pointers? do’s dont’s? what if the first time he wants to meet you he pays for you to fly there and see him? any and all opinions/pointers are welcome PLEASE HELP!!!

  177. Dallasbaby says:

    Staci – nothing you can do spot a scammer , no kind of back ground check will warn you this guy is a douche bag . The only way to avoid any issues at all is to not even try. Just because a guy checks out good does mean he is not a jerk and many guys say whatever they can just to get you to meet them.

  178. Honey says:

    Advice…Get Leidra Lawsons book and/or read the blogs -lots of reading to do…

  179. Honey says:

    it’ s too late to warn you not to use your own money to meet with a potential SD>..
    Sorry you got burned….
    You could have met a scammer in a bar…scammers are everywhere.

  180. Staci says:

    I had been talking to a potential SD for months….on and off. We live in different states and our schedules just never coincided. Well, it finally worked out that we could meet up. I drove to see him. He promised travel expenses plus money on top of that. He did not provide any of that. It seems that this site is full of scammers. It gives the real and true SD’s a bad rap.

  181. sugarsugar says:

    More details Staci please

  182. Staci says:

    So what do you do when you have met with a SD and agreed upon a set amount and he does not come through?

  183. cleo says:

    nope… but i swear i remember a blogger having a weird experience with one… could by my imagination

  184. Honey says:

    Hello all! Welcome all you older lurkers…! thanks for speaking up, I like the new blood.

  185. sugarsugar says:

    Hey Cleo:

    I also heard from an ER doc recently. Does his name start with a J by any chance?

  186. cleo says:

    rose: no worries i just wanted to point it out to people who might not get that distinction later as they read the old blogs :) i figured you got it

  187. Thanks for the welcomes everyone =D

    @ cleo… I was just getting a little more in depth in my answer for Lily with the second comment. The first one was kind of an answer to her question… she asked about keeping longer relationships going without fizzling out after a few months. (Which would make it a little more mature of an arrangement.) I guess I should have been a little more clear with that… lol. I apologize… I’m still new to the blogs.

  188. Dallasbaby says:

    Did anyone watch dr phil today about gold diggers . They had one girl on who wrote a book about it. She claims she has never had sex with any sugar daddy EVER !!!

  189. Rcheck says:

    Welcome Rose – I enjoyed reading your point of view. Glad you decided to speak up.

  190. cleo says:

    rose i think that applies to a mature arrangement but if you do that in your first few dates you risk coming across as hoochie. if my sd was married i wouldn’t touch him in public at all other than casual touches like with anyone else. if he was single i’d touch him more or touch his thigh or stroke his arm or something …

    i have certainly fondled people under tables, but only people i trusted to have a solid sense of who i was to start with rather than with people who don’t yet know my character and might then consider me less than a lady

  191. Absolutely…

    Sometimes you have to spice up your end of the arrangement. Men like when you send naughty pics and/or videos, and flirty texts. Randomly call and tell them what you want to do the next time you’re alone with them…and don’t spare on the details!!!! When he takes you to a nice restaurant be sure to discreetly fondle him under the table. Make him feel like he’s getting what (no offense ladies) he’s paying for. We know that they want to spoil us… be remember that you’re supposed to spoil him too!!! Otherwise why is he spending his money on you in the first place?

    Be a “lady on the streets and a freak in the sheets”…to quote an applicable phrase… lol.

  192. Lily says:

    Rose- Define “spice,” please. :)
    And welcome!

  193. I’ve been on and off this site for almost 3 yrs…and never commented until now…lol. I’ve had 2 decent arrangements in that time. Both of which lasted over a yr. (We usually got together for special time together about once a week in both cases.) This is why I think they worked for us.

    Things I keep in mind when setting an arrangement…

    The majority of Sd’s have NO problem communicating what they want or what they like. They know what they were looking for, and I’m sure aren’t going to settle for much less. Let’s face it… most of these men are used to getting what they want, when they want it. (I mean how else do you get where they are?!?…lol.) I think that can sometimes be intimidating to a lot of the newer SB’s, and that’s no good. These guys aren’t looking for a flakey first timer… their looking for some serious fun with some serious young women… not little girls.

    Remember that most of these men aren’t looking for girlfriends… they’re looking for some fun and relaxation with a mature, responsible, sexy woman. Someone to take their cares away, and let them forget the worries of everyday life… NOT add to them. Some of them have families and don’t want to break that up… so there has to be a certain level of trust between the two of you… and that doesn’t happen over night. Demanding money on your first meeting makes you look like a high priced hooker in society’s eyes… no matter which way you try to spin it. If that meeting goes well, there’s chemistry, and the pot SD would like to offer you a gift to keep you interested… that’s different.

    And last but not least… If you give them a little spice with their sugar it keeps the arrangements from fizzling out quite as quickly… no matter how often you meet… LOL.

  194. Anna Molly says:

    Lily ~ As much as I would love to meet you, I’m afraid I won’t be able to make it to the city. :(

  195. Anna Molly says:

    Hi y’all! 😀

    Hope all of you had a great Easter!

    Okay, gonna try to catch up on the blog :)

  196. Lily says:

    AM – did I tempt you with my lunch offer for next week?

  197. Lily says:

    Oh about the sugar handoff – direct deposit to some sort of financial account is absolutely best. And like RTB mentioned, never needing to ask for it after the initial set-up has been agreed upon and begun. Should happen silently and seamlessly (and reliably!) in the background and almost never thought of or mentioned during the dates, as it is not a turn-on for anyone.

    Unless… there’s a bonus sugar gift that magically happens for whatever little reason on your account (then it could be a ‘turn on’ of sorts). *That* is certainly beyond thoughtful, sweet, generous, and certainly further endears himself to her…..

    Cash is so crude. I’ve never encountered cash that didn’t make me feel uncomfortable, and IME the more genuine and sincere the SD, the less likely he will be to mess around with cash and will also prefer the setup of an invisible electronic payment system to take it out of the equation of actual time together.

    Oh, oh, I thought of one other thing to comment on! RTB might really be on to something about frequently-meeting arrangements. They very well may burn themselves out more quickly than less frequent, more special rendezvous together. It is true in my experience, to be sure. I had an SD I met more than once a week and after 4-5 months, it ran it’s course to be sure. (full of drama, him falling in love, wanting to leave wife, trying to force his baby daughter into my life to further entrench himself as a marriage candidate for me) The arrangements that can last a year or longer, IME, are the ones where you don’t ever see more often than once a month, and sometimes even less frequently, so that when you do meet, both have genuinely missed one another very much and fireworks ensue. Real life stays neatly out of the equation and the times together are pure fantasy land and nothing but sugary sweetness. And, like the wise RTB said, constant little communications are lovely for keeping the connection/relationship alive and well in the interim periods.

    For those of you who have had long (6-12 months or longer) term arrangements with more than 2 meetings per month, how did you manage to keep it fresh, special, NSA/drama-free, and not ever go stale or fizzled out?

  198. Lily says:

    I’m so behind on the blog, I don’t even know what to comment but I wanted to say hello to everyone and Happy Easter!
    RTB always has the perfect thing to say, so I won’t begin cataloguing and seconding every comment of hers but know that I silently am! :) I can honestly say that in retrospect, being in search/hunt mode for sugar is about the most exhausting/draining thing there is, and I am soooo blessed to be long past that point, and hope I am never seeking again.

  199. Ron says:

    Thank you SDGuru. She picked me …and I rejected the offer three times. Didn’t much believe in love. Especially at my age. Then on the fourth request from her I met her for dinner. It was all over for me. It’s like she knew me. Yes…now there is a trust issue and yes I have been blind and I did have indicators …but the blinders were on. Don’t know yet if I can get it back to an SD/.SB arrangement again. I read the blog u highlighted . Think u .

  200. Honey says:

    I agree with Reachthebeach about direct deposit. That way no one has to think about it. ok and …Cleo Great Job! Toronto – I like your expense list. Sugarsugar, good advice. Red maru, what size were you? I’ll take your cast-offs!! Got any shoes? Overweight-love yourself ,can’t play if you don’t love yourself first..

  201. cleo says:

    hmm email from an er doc from california… why does that sound familiar…?
    .
    i guess i should really catch up on the blog, i’ve been in school for three days but it was TOTALLY worth it since my brain is full of information and i didn’t have to pay since i coordinated the course (which i’m surprisingly good at, who knew??)
    .
    okay back to work :)

  202. Reach the Beach SB says:

    Jazmine – Cash or a bank account work. I prefer the account simply because he can deposit the funds on a specific day each month and forget it until the following month. Takes the “transactional” feel away and gives you both security. As for the amount, think about what you hope to achieve…college degree, pay down debt, new business, etc and figure out what it will take to get there. It’s true that most who are not in a metropolitan area are able to secure 1-3/month. Honey brings up a point about frequency, but I have a different take on it. If you see a man more frequently, the arrangement can, and often does, fizzle out quickly. Keep it special and hopefully he will stick around longer, but make sure you stay in touch in the meantime. Teasing, flirting, or just a little conversation in between makes a big difference. Have the discussion “is this strictly NSA or are you looking for something more”. I don’t particularly like the (x) visits per week approach, so just manage it delicately. This is not about # nights together for money…it’s about helping a man forget his troubles and a man helping a girl become independent. Know what you would consider the ideal situation and don’t be afraid to tell him when he asks. Lastly, re-evaluate terms at about three months to make sure each of you are happy or if changes need to made.

    Overweight – First – Welcome! Second – please change your blog id to something the is complimentary to you. Learn to love and appreciate what you have to offer regardless of your weight. Men LOVE confidence! If you love your body, so will he. There are men who prefer a plus-size figure. There are men who may say something inappropriate because you don’t meet “their idea” of who should be here. Have a thick skin and be quick to block someone if they show any disrespect. There is someone for everyone.

    Meanwhile, put up complimentary, but current pictures of yourself. The man who contacts you already likes your figure, so embrace the fact you’ve gotten past that hurdle and enjoy his attentions. Even put something clever in your headline that is flirty, but attracts a man who enjoys plus-size women….”Big, bold and Beautiful” or “Curvy, Clever and Caring”. I’m sure you will think of something perfect!

  203. torontoblondie says:

    @Jazmine + what are your expenses? If you’re rent is 1.5 a month (mine is 1 700 in toronto) then I would say you should at least ask for your rent + groceries + car payment and tell him you only one sugar daddy.

    Just do the math and see if you are comfortable, because if he offers you 1000 dollars, and he wants to meet once a week for dinner and fun (usually 4-6 hours) thats about 50 dollars per hour (I know thats not how us sugar babies work – per hour per-say) but I also would hope that I guy would assume I was worth more than that if he can make XXX per hour at his job.

  204. torontoblondie says:

    @ guru, I’m pretty sure I addressed that point and was just making it known….. but thanks for pointing out of the obvious incase no one else got that point….

    @ Jazmine like sugarsugar stated, it would help us if we knew a little bit more about the situation. Does he also offer gifts? traveling? Anything else that adds to the allowance. 1-1.5 isn’t much to me and I would never accept it as I can easily ask for that in one date, but then again it also helps us if you tell us more about yourself (age range, education background, sex appeal etc) if you are a rare commodity then market yourself as so and never accept less. Also if this guy is only looking to meet 1-2 times a month then the allowance isn’t terrible. As long as he doesn’t enforce sleepovers (I don’t do sleep overs unless I like the guy.. aka my new sugar daddy loveeeeeee himm can’t wait for our trip to LA :) — it’s really funny bc our first date I told him that I DON”T sleep over and I like to sleep in my own bed so don’t ask, then our second date happened and I asked if I could sleep over :p he said he was so confused! Lol I dunno I really like him :) :) )

  205. Honey says:

    Hello all
    Naive, the SD I am with now was like that too at first. I had to keep slapping his hands and telling him to stop touching me! I told him that I did like him but I was not the type to just jump into bed. he told me all the other girls including his wife, slept with him on the first date. I told him that was not me. and after the 2nd or third time he actually started to believe it. We dated for a month Before we slept together and he had paid $1000 for the month of which three weeks did not include sex!I Just saying to establish boundaries before you go out of a sd date and stick to them. He started off all pushy and touchy feely and VERY annoying, but I just kept a firm tone with him and told him how disrespectful he was being and if he wanted a sure thing there would be no hard feelings from me but hat he will have to respect when I say no and stop.

  206. sugarsugar says:

    Jazmine:

    Do either of you give an amount in your profile? I think it’s best to pick one of the ranges so hopefully only sugar daddies who are okay with that allowance amount will contact you. When you both leave it blank it makes it even harder to start negotiating as it might seem to them like you are just pulling a number out of a hat based on their income/net worth.

    Don’t be greedy. The majority of SB profiles I’ve noticed asked for 1-3. I think if you are in NYC or LA you can go higher than that and of course a lot of it depends on your age, looks and level of sophistication. I know some SBs get over 10K a month but they are few and far between.

    Also the figure he threw out there would depend on how many times he expects to see you. If he was offering 2K for 3-4 visits that sounds good, not great to me. If he expects to see you twice a week then its not so good. Decide what you think your time is worth and then stick to it.

    Most importantly its good to get this squared away before you meet. Because if you are like me I find it impossible to talk business in person so I tie up the loose ends via e-mail.

    Good luck!

  207. Rcheck says:

    @overweight “do sugars in fact come in all shapes and sizes?”

    Yes they do. Sugars indeed come in all sizes.
    Many men honestly don’t care about weight.
    Some find it a turn on.
    And if you are trying to lose weight what better inducement could there be than putting new thinner photos up every month?

  208. overweight says:

    do sugars in fact come in all shapes and sizes?
    im trying to lose the weight i gained in my irl
    but its taking a while, should i jump into the sugarbowl or wait?

  209. Jazmine says:

    I’m about to embark on a SD/SB relationship….I just dont know exactly how to bring up the allowance. Do I ask for cash or set up a bank account? What is the general rule of thumb for the amounts? He’s already throw a figure out there….$1500-2000. Is that acceptable?

  210. RedMaru says:

    Happy Easter everbody. Ive been cleaning out my closet getting rid of too big clothes that was fun.
    Naive welcome to the blog and I second Reach glad youre safe. That guy was not a genuine SD he was a perv looking a quick romp just bc he had the cash and is better off with an escort. Alot of good advice has been given so I will just say here here!

  211. Reach the Beach SB says:

    Happy Easter and Happy Sunday sugars!

    Naive – I’m so glad you’re safe! You received some great advice, but sounds like you could use some tools in that blinged out sugar tool belt :-)
    1- Get Google Voice for all your sugar communications. It gives you the ability to use a different number linked to your phone/ e-mail and you can block calls/ texts when you no longer want to talk to someone. It takes time unless someone can refer you.
    2- Use the links to the right of the blog about meeting SDs for the first time, travel, etc.
    3- Glad you have the taser, but make sure he can’t use it on you.
    4- Always let someone you trust know where you’re going and who you are meeting. Make some sugar friends in your region and we’ll look out for you!

    One thing that is a helpful screening tool is to have him come to you for the first date. Don’t fall for the last minute “hey babe, I’m in town” nonsense. Plan ahead and tell him you would be more comfortable meeting close by. Keep it very public and give it the expectation that it’s coffee/ drinks for an hour just to get to know one another. Meeting at his / a hotel can have sexual undertones, so meet somewhere neutral. Every SD I’ve met has agreed to this without giving me a hard time….those are the keepers! You can arrange another date for while he is still in town or for the next time. Whatever you do, don’t let the lure of money let you compromise yourself. (You’ve already proven this) Be a lady and most will treat you like one.

  212. Honey says:

    Great post SDGuru, I kneel at your feet in awe…

  213. Kindred Spirit says:

    Lisa, you know your job is killing you, physically and emotionally. I know it isn’t always that simple to just leave w/o some backup plan, but you’ll do what you need to, and you’ll know it when the time is right. I wish you the best with whatever happens, and you have such a caring heart (incapable of love, you say? I think that’s your job/depression talking, not deep down lisa 😉 ).

    I have faith in you, even if you don’t. :) Even if you are stuck with some other minimum wage job, can it really possibly be worse than what you deal with right now? Sounds like true Hell, and you know you deserve better. Again, I wish you the best in whatever comes next. You’re stronger than you realize…!

  214. Kindred Spirit says:

    Naive, I’m very proud of you and how you handled yourself. That could have turned into more of a nightmare than it already was. Good for you for not going along with anything he wanted that was out of line (which was nearly everything). There is definitely true, sweet sugar out there, not sour asses who think because they hand you cash they have “the right away” to do what they please to you.

    I’m appalled that he was not considerate of you, your comfort, or your feelings at all. He definitely doesn’t get it, and is by no means a genuine SD. Try to stay positive and not get disgruntled~ not all men are like that and I suppose the best advice I can give is to screen, screen, screen. Communicate a bit before even meeting so you can get see what the vibe is. I know men (and women) can act like one thing and then be totally something else when you actually meet, but trust your gut…just like you did during your time with him. I am so thankful you were not hurt or driven away somewhere remote with him alone.

    I don’t think you’re quite as naive as before, now, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing. 😉 Be careful Sweetie and continue to trust your gut. I am impressed by your courage to stand up for yourself and not try to please that jerk. Rest assured there are great guys out there who will care the world for you…you’ll see. Just don’t stop believing that and be mindful and observant in the meantime. :)

    That’s what I continue to tell myself…and I indeed think I found something beautiful (potential arrangement) just tonight, in fact….

  215. Moon Patrol says:

    Naive – Sounds like a rich guy with no class. Also not much awareness of himself and how he appears to others. As for proper SD behavior, sex on a first date is for call girls. Glad you got out of that.

  216. Lisa says:

    Naive this was not a geniune sd and i’m glad you got away from him. He sounds like a jerk. A geniune sd will not try to trick you into his room on the first meeting and sex is not expected on the first meeting. First meetings are to meet and seem if you click. Can’t give you much advice as I haven’t had a sd in some time now but the ones I did have did not act like the person you describe.

    • SD Guru says:

      @Ron
      Just terminated a 7 month arrangement with my SB. Best relationship I ever had. Everything was done right but I fell in love with my SB.

      Thanks for sharing your story. Were you honest with yourself and with her about the type of relationship you wanted in the beginning? Most sugar relationships are NSA, but the fact that you agreed to exclusivity and fell in love means it’s no longer NSA. You may think the feeling is mutual, but is it realistic to expect her to actually fall in love with someone much older and with 8 kids??

      I sure don’t want to lose her and hope my heart isn’t in the way of seeing clearly.

      As for the deception about her work, in hindsight there were probably plenty of warning signs that you overlooked. Your judgment was clouded by your feelings for her, and it’s not easy to make sound decisions under those circumstances. Best of luck to you as you attempt to reconcile, but the feeling of deception and lack of trust will not be easy to overcome.

      If I sound like I’ve been there before, it’s because I have. Take a look at the story of “Mixing Love and Sugar” in my blog.

      @TorontoBlondie
      Men and Females both not holding up their side of the bargain. On the blog we hear mostly of the men that don’t…

      I can assure you the SD’s get to deal with their fair share of flakes and wannabe SB’s who don’t hold up their end of the arrangement as well. SB’s far out number SD’s on the blog so that’s why you see mostly horror stories from the SB’s.

      @Naive
      What is your advice on finding a genuine sugar daddy? Are they all like this on the first meeting? Is sex always expected on the first meeting?

      A geniune SD will make you feel at ease and comfortable. He will initiate the discussion about your sugar expectations and the conversation will flow naturally. His action speaks louder than words and he does what he said he will do. Not all first meetings are like yours, and obviously sex shouldn’t be expected in the first meeting. Don’t put up with pot SD’s who don’t live up to your standard of conduct.

      Screen relentlessly before you agree to meet. Generally speaking it’s best to keep a first meet simple and low key as I’ve discussed before in this post. The fact that you drove two hours to meet him should not stop you from leaving at the first sign of trouble. Too many newbies put themselves in a situation to be taken advantage of due to their lack of experience or knowledge. I hope you will learn from your experience and don’t become one of them.

  217. Naive says:

    I am very new to this and need advice on how to spot the genuine SDs.

    I met a sugar daddy two weeks ago and it did not go how I had envisioned. We made plans to meet in the city. His plan was to meet at the bar in a hotel he was staying at then go to dinner. Stupid, naive me agreed to this. I assumed he would be there before me, we would talk a minute, then go to the resturant.

    When I pulled up to the hotel, he was just parking his car. He got out and said something like oh hey I need to go take a shower. I was like…really?? Seriously? He tried to get me to go up to the hotel room. I had known him for about ten seconds!!! I declined and sat in my car. I would have left if I hadn’t driven two hours to meet him.

    He took thirty minutes to get ready. On our way to the resturant he blasted music and cut people off in traffic. The resturant was very nice and he had a different attitude while we were there. He had the waitress bring me several drinks. I barely sipped on them–he was not going to get me drunk.

    When we got back in his car he handed me $1000 and said something about he wanted me to trust him and then pushed my dress up and put his hand next to my crotch. I of course was very creeped out by this and jumped back and moved his hand. He thought it was cute or something and tried it again. I asked him if we could go back to the hotel and talk in the bar. I was beyond freaking out at this point and had my tazer ready.

    Back at the hotel, I made an excuse that I had to leave and handed his money back to him. He insisted I take it, so I did. He stood in my driver side door for ten minutes trying to coax me up to this room. Ick. He started texting me as soon as I pulled out of the parking lot.

    He’s been e-mailing me trying to make plans. I’ve not agreed to meet him again and I don’t plan on it.

    Experienced sugars: What is your advice on finding a genuine sugar daddy? Are they all like this on the first meeting? Is sex always expected on the first meeting?

    Thanks

  218. Lisa says:

    Sorry to hear about your uncle. I knew my stepdad since I was 6 years old. He passed on christmas day at 545 am, we were out walking in the cold darkness to the hospital to watch him die. it’s very hard on my mom, they were married 36+ years. My job is ruining my life I hate it so much. I had a great schedule,made my plans and at the last minute today they changed it and took away one of my days off. It’s a mess as my supervisor is about to get demoted or fired. No one wants to work the department, we can’t keep people and i’m one of the old ones although I haven’t even been there two years. it’s a grocery store and it sucks. Hate it but i’m trapped. i’d rather be dead that work there much longer, it’s ruining my life as i’m so sick of wearing the same ugly clothes everyday (i’ve only got one uniform so i’m wearing the same sweaty clothes everyday as I don’t have a washer and do not want to spend mytime handwashing this g*dd*m crap.

  219. LovelyLibra says:

    wow lisa im sorry to hear that death is hard i am just getting over my uncle passing and he passed 2 years ago, but he was like a father to me.

  220. Lisa says:

    What if anything are you weary of when it comes to searching for sugar, or being in a sugar relationship?

    I”m weary of it ending without any said reason and also wasting time on someone who doesn’t understand what sugar dating is about.

    What codes of conduct do you think are most often violated in the Sugar World?

    I have been contacted by guys on several occasions that are in town for the night or whatever and also those looking to meet for a few hours in the spare of the moment, aka “pay per play” And really what woman in her right mind is going to go out and meet some stranger at a hotel in the middle of the night?

    How would you manage love in a sugar relationship if you must?
    I don’t think i’m capable of loving anyone.

    How is your sugarlife? Non existent at the time

    I can very close to walking out of work today. I had a great schedule for the coming week with thur and fri off as well as easter. Made plans with my mom on thursday and other plans on friday. Ended up having to say yes to coming in to work thursday so I had to cancel on my mom. I am so angry right now, I hate my job, I hate my coworkers, I am seriously thinking of just walking out when I got to work thursday, even though I don’t have any job lined up and all I would end up with is minimum wage anyway , I feel my life being sucked out more and more everyday, having to wear the same clothes day after day, chronic back pain, no energy, pure rage when i’m at work. I feel trapped with no way out. I wish I could find an sd to help me get somethign better to do but I have no education beyond highschool, my eyesite is getting worse (I fear i’m getting my dad’s(my natural dad, not my stepdad who passed away a few months ago) blindness as he was legally blind at 50 and i’m 45, I cannot write legibly anymore, my hands are so weak and I just feel like i’m falling apart, I new a fresh start.

  221. Michael Alleycat says:

    6th!

  222. RedMaru says:

    Sorry bout spelling damn garminphone

  223. RedMaru says:

    New blog! Morning sugarfam
    I can say one thing I am weary of is pot SDs insisting you come out to them and pay for it stating that they do it this way becausr they have been burned. After being flaked out by one joke daddy this way I have tended to NEXT pots. Another thing I am weary of no offense to the genuine SDs out there are the pots who are very forthcoming with their expectations but want change the subject or totally hang up when I bring up my needs such as allowance.
    The code of conduct I feel is violatef most in sugarworl is the arrangement itself on both sides. Sbs not gettingwhat was promised to them and one her side Sds generosity being taken advantage of theyre being made to feel like walking atms. Also trust on both sides.
    Hows my sugarlife? On hiatus fora couple of months now just getting back into swing

  224. Kindred Spirit says:

    Good morning everyone!! 😀

    What if anything are you weary of when it comes to searching for sugar, or being in a sugar relationship?

    If a man I am with doesn’t feel completely comfortable. That is my consistent goal when spending time with him, and I remain keenly aware and observant. I also cannot stand it if I am misunderstood for any reason, or not given the benefit of the doubt. My interest lies in putting a man’s mind at ease, then enjoying all the fun with him!

    For myself, I do get a bit weary as to whether I am keeping my own comfort-level in check~ very important!! Comfort-level is not just about physical safety, but also if I am happy with how things are going (or are going to go with a developing arrangement). I tend to focus so much on pleasing the man I’m crazy about, that I need to remember to guage whether all my time and effort is well-balance with what I need from a NSA relationship…. Every arrangement/potential is different but one thing I factor into it is location (I’d expect less financial help if they are flying me places, for example).

    What codes of conduct do you think are most often violated in the Sugar World?

    Either girls or guys acting with an inflated sense of bitchy entitlement, whether they have money or are beautiful (or both). Sure, money can buy sex (prostitution), but it does not buy a mutually beneficial arrangement. To achieve that takes two happily satisfied people, with consideration and regards to what both people are giving and getting from it.

    How would you manage love in a sugar relationship if you must?

    I believe that Love as the feeling itself cannot be managed, as it is what it is, a feeling! Love the action, the verb, can be managed. It can be embraced, enhanced and it can be carefully minimized. No matter what, clear communication is key. Not just with your partner, but also with yourself!

    My ideal arrangement is very open to loving feelings, even the “in-love” euphoria, if it comes about. Makes it all the more exciting and worthwhile, imho. I suppose, however, if the being in love turns unhealthy, it can most certainly hurt (possessiveness, jealousy, drama and feeling unbalanced within the relationship). Again, you can choose how to react and how you are going to change things within yourself (perhaps by giving a bit of distance, and remembering that the whole idea is to keep it simple and sweet, with NSA).

    Falling in love can certainly create a sense of yearning for further commitment. If both parties are cool with that, awesome, but typically it isn’t so.

    How is your sugarlife?

    A perpetual learning experience. 😉

  225. torontoblondie says:

    What if anything are you weary of when it comes to searching for sugar, or being in a sugar relationship?
    Like beach stated, I hate the men that literally think that as their sugar baby I am here to be a sex toy. Some are betters then others, but the ones that get under my skin are the ones that want ‘kink’ ‘subs’ or any kind of sexual acts that involve demeaning things and pain. Yes when you get to know someone you can share your dirty little fantasies, but NO I do not want to hear them right away and NO because you are giving me an allowance does it initial I have to do such things. I also hate men that won’t give an allowance until thing are ‘set in stone’…. in the bedroom.

    I’m very weary of my safety and my expectations and turn down a lot of sugar if I don’t think things match, (one SD who wanted to have a driver pick me up last night – I declined because in one of his pictures he said it was at a restaurant I am aware of… but the picture had the lake in in…. this restaurant is on the 18th floor in the middle of toronto! – doesn’t add up)

    What codes of conduct do you think are most often violated in the Sugar World?
    Men and Females both not holding up their side of the bargain. On the blog we hear mostly of the men that don’t (fake cheques, not giving ski bunny an allowance for a weekend, one guy giving girls less amount then agreed, etc etc)

    How would you manage love in a sugar relationship if you must?
    I personally haven’t been in love yet. The older SD wants to buy a big house with me have my name on it with his, he wants to marry me etc etc etc…. I have to break it off, he’s got for the weekend so I haven’t gotten my chance yet. He always asks if I want to bring friends along… he doesn’t get it that I can’t hold hands with him in public because he’s over 50 and I’m 20.

    My newest SD though – 37 but looks younger, lol I grab his hand in public 😉 I’m not shy or weary about being around him, I actually want to be around him even more! Hence why I also have to break up the first one (although other sugars have been weary as he’s constant etc etc… screw it he doesn’t make me happy — the new one does).

    How is your sugarlife?

  226. torontoblondie says:

    3rd :) gonna go finish reading the last one then write here :)

  227. Reach the Beach SB says:

    Morning sugars!

    What if anything are you weary of when it comes to searching for sugar, or being in a sugar relationship? I may have a skewed view of this based on my experiences, but I used to get weary of the men who felt like being in an arrangement with an allowance meant they were paying for sex. It’s so much more than that…not all of us are buying nothing but fancy shoes and clothes! As for the ladies, I really get disappointed when (no matter how many times they hear advice from many others) they make careless mistakes that could impact their safety, they integrity and their livelihood in order to meet that one man who will be a great SD. They always admit later to red flags they didn’t heed. If we let men get away with treating us poorly, it will not stop. Listen to your instincts and set your standards high.

    What codes of conduct do you think are most often violated in the Sugar World? The lack of respect and objectification that goes on…men as ATMs and women as sex objects.

    How would you manage love in a sugar relationship if you must? Ron’s post on the previous blog is one of many that have occurred lately. It’s wonderful to fall for someone, but each of you has to know in the beginning that the other is open to more than just an arrangement. Otherwise, one falls and “hopes” the other will do so as well.

    How is your sugarlife? I’m happy!

  228. B says:

    First! HAHAHAHA :)

  229. SA Moderator Team says:

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