6 years ago
For Richer or for Poorer, Sugarlife Changes

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It’s been made very clear here, that beyond the benefits sought in an arrangement, is a broader objective for Sugar Daddies and Sugar Babies… the quality of the people in their dating life. For anyone who’s not aware, there are plenty of sites out there that cater to those seeking nothing more than sex and money exchanges, yet for those on SA, or at least for those who SA promotes as its proud and shining sugars, there’s a desire for quality experiences built with desirable people.

Sugars are value seeking people who like to ensure that their experience with one another is based on mutual consideration for each other’s joy. Boyfriend/girlfriend relationships, as well as hook-ups/flings, have been found by many here to only work by the off chance. Let’s for a moment consider the boyfriend/girlfriend dynamic. Often driven by the desire for something ‘more’, BF’s and GF’s are entered in a journey together which is usually begun with strong feelings of romantic love. Yet these sometimes limerent attachments usually yield their less than sweet sides when one partners’ interest isn’t reciprocated, and/or when certain benefits expected don’t pan-out.

Hookups and flings were all the rage in pop-culture during the 90’s, yet these days, their popularity wanes as the pitfalls of sex without intimacy are demonstrated in movies like “No-Stings-Attached” starring sugarboy Ashton Kutcher and Natalie Portman.

Expiration Date for Sugar

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As some Sugar Babies here have said, the sugarlife for them is a self-recognized ‘phase’ of their life, in order to get them towards a specific goal, or better place. Yet for Sugar Daddies, the deadline for sugar dating often seems less apparent, if it exists at all. SD Guru said that for him, the question of why and how his sugarlife would come to an end or ‘evolve’ is not the easiest to answer at the time. Yet he mentioned that he’s known other SD’s who have, in various ways (e.g., marrying their Sugar Baby) ended or evolved their sugarlives, but found it a very good question in terms of his own reasons for possible Sugarbowl departure or adaptation.

Sugar Arrangement Exit Strategy

As many here have experienced, if a Sugar Baby and Sugar Daddy build their arrangement with an understanding of when it will end, the sugar parting is often much sweeter.  Of course, there are many reasons people may choose to end a relationship without communicating it first, yet for the partner who’s left with no explanation, it can often, as TexaSugah might put it, ‘pepper the sugar’.

Sugar Daddies: How and why do you think you would ever come about ending or evolving your sugarlife?

Sugar Babies: Have you ever been in a bf/gf or bf/bf or gf/gf relationship that you felt supported, or unsupported in financially speaking? Do you apply any of the same standards you have for potential sugar daddies to potential partners in a non-sugar relationship?

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168 Responses to “For Richer or for Poorer, Sugarlife Changes”

  1. Honey says:

    I think it’s best to tell everything upfront,won’t make it hurt less, but helps with the abandoned feeling.If someone falls in love, all the time limits go out the window.

  2. Reach the Beach SB says:

    Don’t know for sure, but seems like it.

  3. Lily says:

    Was it Bonnie/Spiritual?

  4. Michael Alleycat says:

    RTB – yep, the style is familiar isn’t it!

    Lovin’ me some Kathmandu …

  5. mademoiselle says:

    HI NYC SB AND CAREBEAR.

    carebear.. you so smart. i have hearts floating around my head as i type this. i agree with everything you said!

  6. Reach the Beach SB says:

    Awwww…puppies!

    Hope you have an amazing upcoming sugar weekend!

  7. GenuineSD says:

    Good evening all ! No major plans for this weekend… a meeting today has me out of town, so I’ll take the opportunity to visit family a bit over the weekend.
    Resting and planning for a sugar weekend coming up real soon.
    Going to visit a local breeder of Labs… it may be time to get a puppy…

  8. Reach the Beach SB says:

    Actually, it has a very familiar style and content.

  9. Lily says:

    Um, weirdest post ever. Don’t kNow where to begin….

  10. SuccessStory says:

    Hello Bloggers!

    I have been lurking on this blog since I signed up with this site (in May). I have learned quite bit, on how to be or how not to be. All of the regulars are wonderful and sweet, but I especially gain insight from the one time posters (like me) and I now feel ready to return the favor.

    Let me begin with – I FOUND THE ONE! and here’s how it happened. When I first signed up I had the same naive attitude as anyone else. That was the one thing I gained from reading from the regulars. They were all bumping their heads with this site, expecting large allowances and mutual chemistry. I came to realize this very quickly – All the men here are just johns and they are seeking a discount hooker.

    Since I was actually paying to be here, I didn’t want to waste the fee, so I decided to play along with it. Still, I was accepting $1000 monthly allowance for four dates! I wised up quickly and set my standard to $2000, 2 dates a month. Of course, every sd only lasted one month – he moved on to the next naive discounter.

    However, I got my monthly allowance up to $10,000. I just dated as many sds as possible. I was totally honest with each of them, and that is how I was able to settle into having just two who agreed to pay $5000 a month. The first arrangement was made in Dec, the second in Jan.

    In the meantime, I met someone on facebook (in Nov). He knew that I lived the sugar lifestyle and saw that I was actually the first real woman he had ever met. I fell in love with him very quickly. He is the first real man I have ever met.

    My lover has asked me to move into an apartment near his office. He lives four hours south of here. I have broken it off with the two steady sds. Dating johns for the money just isn’t my style. My new lover is a real man who wants to take care of all my needs, which will only cost him $1000 – $2000 a month, but there is no actual price tag on my love.

    I want to wish everyone the best of luck. My only advice – Hold a mirror up at yourself and be clear on observing what you are doing. A real sd is not going to post a profile here. They have private services in Europe, and the quality of women is screened to a certain standard. These women are young, beautiful, and do not have all the baggage that is forced on American women. They are willing to come to the states and get set up in apartments for the sake of an education. They do not have secret lovers (their old high school bf or next door neighbor back in the trailer park – that’s the kind of baggage I’m talking about).

    Again – Best Of Luck!

  11. Reach the Beach SB says:

    Looks like a new discussion is in order…

    What are your plans for the weekend??? I’m hoping for a little fun at the theater with my favorite guy!

    Arcadia – Congratulations! What an amazing feeling it must bring!!!

    I had another great phone interview…let’s hope it turns into something amazing!

  12. Lily says:

    I know far more ladies who could benefit from being more assertive and not settle for lackluster treatment, than those who act too entitled.
    I know PLenty of men who act like having money in an account (that theyrenot sharing) makes them deserving of tons of attention & affection from beautiful women.

  13. whitelillies says:

    Congratulations, Arcadia! That’s so exciting!

  14. Arcadia SB says:

    I just wanted to jump in, almost a week behind on the blog and say hello to everyone. I just had to finish my first solo exhibition…but my art work is up for public consumption! The past week ahs been insanely busy though. I hope everyone here is well and now have to start at the beginning of the comment thread to see what all I missed!

  15. Kara says:

    Point taken!!

    And well said :)

  16. Reach the Beach SB says:

    No worries Stormy!

  17. Stormcat says:

    Sorry RTB, that’s what I get for posting without refreshing!

  18. Stormcat says:

    You’re speaking of Reality -vs- Perception, Value -vs- Love, Confidence -vs- Desperation, Rare value -vs- counterfeit sparkle. What one really has to avoid is entitlement!

  19. Reach the Beach SB says:

    Well said ladies. NOW…how do we take men who are treated like wallets and restore their faith in all that is good?

  20. carebear says:

    or MAYBE we are RIGHT and no one has a rebutal!

    AH HA!

    Finally!

  21. carebear says:

    We get all sappy and the blog goes quiet.

  22. Lily says:

    Absolutely, carebear, amen. Women of exceptional grace, talent, and charm are rare treasures and men who fall under their spell should be constantly pinching themselves because they feel so lucky to have her in their arms that they feel they must be dreaming, and the very next thought to pop up in their minds is, “Have I done enough to show my affections? What else can I do to prove to her that I have her best interests at heart and truly care and don’t just want to use her for transient entertainment and temporary favors?”

    When you have a man like *that* wrapping his arms around you, he shows you in so many little ways, it just constantly spills over into everyday life by him ‘overdoing it’ to the point where your mind is not cluttered with thoughts of daily problems and struggles, if they are of the variety that your gentleman can wipe away. You can focus on more lofty goals and idealistic plans to better yourself and strive for a more meaningful existence than you ever could without his help and presence there in your life, lifting you up and supporting you.

    And when you have a man like *that* in your life, you’d better believe that the instantaneous thoughts that run across *her* mind are, “Pinch me, I must be dreaming, he is the most amazing man in the whole world and I just want to show him show him show him show him my appreciation as much and as often as I can, in every look into his eyes, every smile, every moment in his arms and every kiss….I want to make every touch so special that he can literally feel my appreciation and affection like electricity from my skin and my gaze, all over him, and he can bask in the warmth of that tingle….”

    Talk about a virtuous cycle.

    In stark opposition, are men who haggle with you like they are trying to get the best deal on a used car they possibly can, turning the relationship into an adversarial one and cutting any real possibilities (that things will get to that magical place) off at the knees. And women who fold their arms over their chest and have the mindset that they’ll begrudgingly offer affection if and only if a,b,c terms are fulfilled to the (haggled-upon) agreed terms but seem to hold no warmth for the potential suitors in their hearts, or desire any mutually enjoyed affection with them. Sex is only a bartering chip. I wonder why those types have a hard time finding great, lasting arrangements.

  23. bella says:

    Whitelillies…. SUGA IT AINT WROTH IT…. ttl sugas :)

  24. Dandelion Wine says:

    Carebear, excellent points

  25. Enigma SD says:

    Great post Carebear :)

  26. carebear says:

    Sorry so long. Didn’t realize I had gone on such a tangent.

  27. carebear says:

    @Culture….

    Thanks for noticing. I think sometimes due to transitions in our society (at least here in the states), its become acceptable for a woman to expect less. Perhaps I’m a bit old fashioned or too traditional, but sugar is based on the idea of chivalry, which yes in most aspects, is dead.

    This pairs with the conversation we were having about bf’s vs sd’s paying to take care of the woman. And it surprises me that some of the sd’s disagreed on this topic because it was only a couple decades ago that THAT was considered the norm. Only a half a century ago was a lady held in such a high regard that men would be in ‘competition’ for her hand, wishing to be the one that would take care of her. And yes, I realize also that society has also changed in the sense that women now work and make almost as much money as men, but I don’t understand why that means they should be held in a LOWER regard in dating, like they need LESS help, quite the opposite! If anything, ambitions, goals, and financial/educational accomplishments should only prove them to be a higher quality of character and even MORE men should be seeking her hand.

    The relationship between a SD and SB is based on the ‘ancient’ idea of chivalry, that a woman should be ‘taken care of’. NOT KEPT! So many “SD’s and SB’s” don’t understand the difference between the 2. As soon as a SB demands ‘I’m not putting out till I get my money’, you’re subjecting yourself to the lower standard of being paid for, so why shouldn’t a SD treat you with less respect? The idea of the man demanding the woman after paying and vice versa has conditioned our sugar culture into thinking its ok and thats how it is. It SHOULD NOT be how it is! The gentleman should take care of the SB out of the ‘good and kindness’ of his heart, because he wants to give her a platform to stand on to continue to reach her goals and dreams, because he cares for and believes in her. She should be taken care of, not paid for.

    Women are not cars.

    And frankly, it pisses me off that we sit back and let these attitudes manifest and grow, because its only a matter of time before the toxic cold exchange of sugar expands and every SD and SB we come across gets this tainted version of how the relationship should be and feel and we end up getting the brunt of it.

    And thus, chivalry in the sugar world will continue to fade. And we wonder why we get socks thrown at us.

  28. Lisa says:

    wow 175 a meet! lol

  29. Lisa says:

    whitelilies, I’m sitting here cramped in the kitchen with my bird waiting for the carpet to dry. I’m cross ventilating (front door and bedroom window open to help the carpet moisture evaporate and also have the airconditioning on. Meanwhile, i’m keeping an eye on the pressure washing crew that is washing my apartment building. As soon as it gets near my door, i’ve got to close door and window and wait till the porch dries off to see the outside again. I was supposed to work today and my mom was going to do this for me but the boss switched my days off so now i’ve got a day off to do nothing and so many things to do tomorrow and now have to work all day on top of that.

  30. whitelillies says:

    Good morning sugars! Been lurking again lately, but received an e-mail that I just had to share. I’m just barely 22, so generally looking for a man in the 30’s or 40’s range, but this morning I received an e-mail from a man much older than that. That would have been fine, definitely willing to consider someone older if we click well, but this fine gentlemen kindly broke down for me that “just in case that there is ANY misunderstanding, I want to say that most importantly I am seeking a “girlfriend experience” in the bedroom, namely affection and passion, pillowtalk and sexual intimacy.” As if that’s not enough of a red flag, he then insulted my ability to do math, by breaking down his allowance to “$175 per meet” plus $50 extra to get to him, and a generous offer to “bump up” to $200 per meet. If I were into the idea of selling sex, I hope I could do better than $200 and a train ticket. Anyway, ladies in the Philly, Jersey and NYC areas, watch out for this creep.

    Everyone stay warm, or in Lisa’s case, cool. (Lucky duck!)

  31. Lily says:

    So quiet this week on the blog!

  32. Lisa says:

    Yaaah my carpet is getting cleaned. It’s not realy dirty but needs to be freshened for spring. Glad they came early so I won’t be stuck in all day.

  33. Bela says:

    Aussie Alleycat – Good luck with the climb!! No blogging! :)

  34. Lisa says:

    There is a fireplace down at the mall by the skating rink. Funny thing about it is sometimes it’s off on the cold days but always seems to work in the summer. It’s cold by the skating rink so it’s weird to come in out of the 100+ heat and sit by the fireplace. I have been moving everything off the carpet and been stacking stuff in the closets because they are supposed to be cleaning my carpet tomorrow. Today they pressure washed the building and started exterior repairs. The whole complex is getting a facelife, new woodwork, new paint, new railings. It’s a nice place with modern interiors but the exterior buildings look old (1967).

  35. Reach the Beach SB says:

    Lisa – I’m enjoying my fireplace as winter storm warnings for Friday come around. Can’t the states just settle on 78 degrees w tropical winds?

    Looks like we needed some recovery time :-)

  36. Lisa says:

    I can’t believe how hot it is tonight, had to open my bedroom window.

  37. TexasSugah says:

    PDX – well.. no.. I’m in my 30s.. and you’re right.. cleo is a beauty.

  38. NYC SB says:

    i like it when a (pot) SD finds out about my shitty day at work and makes it all better :) by feeding me yummy food and coming to see me… for a 3rd fay in a row… ummm ok maybe he is a wealthy pot bf at this point

  39. LASB says:

    Great question, Lils!

  40. Lily says:

    So, CultureDaddy why not describe in detail the ways in which an excellent vintage of SB can impress *you* on a first date…. :)

  41. CultureDaddy says:

    @Carebear: your exposition on the subject of “his” behavior fits well with my own perception of how the sugar world should work: holding doors; pushing chairs; controlling phones; appreciating wines. And also appreciating an excellent vintage of SB!

  42. carebear says:

    Yes you do.

    Says the pot to the kettle.

  43. Michael Alleycat says:

    Leaving tomorrow, back 2 weeks later. I think there is cell coverage for most of the way up to Base Camp, so I may be blogging from Everest Base Camp. I think I need to get a life ….

  44. carebear says:

    carebear is happy for lily!

    michael shouldn’t you be on some mtn top by now

  45. Michael Alleycat says:

    @Carebear – also, the way they talk to and treat the waiter. A huge sign. How they interact with the waiter / hostess is the way they treat everybody.

    Insert Richard Branson / taxi driver story here.

  46. carebear says:

    Amen DW.

    First date manners are a bold sign of how he will react the first few months in an arrangement. So they better be in tip top shape during the first meal or there’s no chance of a second meet no matter how much money he has.

    Always sneak a peek at how he tips, little things like holding the door open not only for you but other women passing, pushing your chair in instead of letting the hostess do it, standing when you leave and return to the table, see if he pauses eating while you’re gone from the table, no phones at the table EVER. Even a simple suggestion of what to eat will show if they know how to pair foods/wines, if he has any knowledge of good food or wine (if he ever claimed to in the beginning). I always check out the menu beforehand and pick something ahead of time so it puts pressure on them to make a quick decision and leaves me more time to watch them fidget and give tells.

    Flashing your black amex for the whole joint to see does NOT represent class or financially security. If anything, insecurity.

    Ettiquette and manners are beyond using the right fork and saying please and thank you.

    I wonder if sock guy even knew to say thank you for holding his socks.

    Man what a db.

  47. Dandelion Wine says:

    Kara, you REALLY need to become a lot more selective.
    I’d say look for ways to disqualify (at least in the beginning), rather than for ways of how you think this person can be useful to you.
    Turning away a potential client that was rude to you is not even *just* about dignity; someone who doesn’t respect you is probably not going to deliver timely payments for a work-out session either.
    Romantically, the first 2-3 months people are on their best behavior and then you have to make a conscious effort for the quality of interaction not to go down.
    If someone is a rude obnoxious douchebag from the beginning, you need to cut your losses and move on, because it will most likely only get worse.

  48. Lily says:

    Oh, yes, Lily is. :) I shopped until I dropped yesterday. And sang karaoke. It’s just a great great week.

  49. carebear says:

    hope lily is enjoying herself =)

  50. NYC SB says:

    Per Se was amazing… I do love that place!

  51. Stormcat says:

    I think the converse is also true (i.e.for men) although it is cuturally diminished by tradition.

  52. Stormcat says:

    @ PDX SB: It is lovely that you are 23 and look like 18, but you should realize that that is physical, but rather simply matter of the fact that you are culturally connected enough that you can blend across a shifting social continuum. Almost no-one can physically discern the difference between even a 27 yo and an 18 yo. They discern by their style, mannerisms, and speech! However as age progresses through the decades the differences become physically obvious.
    @ all: IMHO, It is easy to be hot in your 20s and early 30s. I think that the real change comes around 35. And to find a woman who is “hot!” after that age, by general population standards, is quite rare. Also, those women who are of such quality, by that age, are, quite assuredly, going to remain such, relatively, for the rest of their lives! So it is a treasure,, for a man, to find such a woman!!!

  53. PDX SB says:

    @ Cleo – LIE! I am so going to lie when I turn 30 and 40. I’m 23 now and I regularly am mistaken for 18 and younger! You are just youthful looking for your age :)

    @Texa Sugar – I’m not sure if you are showing your age. Are you in your 20s? I remember the crypt keeper…scary.

  54. Reach the Beach SB says:

    LaJolla ??? Didn’t someone else have an issue with him? Oh wait…I had some girl post from LaJolla about me (unless he was posing). Hmmmmm….

  55. Reach the Beach SB says:

    Kara – If you have a FB sugar page, someone has created a place to put up warnings. Calling him after that night was just encouraging him…much less offering to make him a client. Trust me, once a moron, always a moron. Block and delete before he calls you some inappropriate name.

  56. Kara says:

    Thanks everyone :)

    My safety is very important to me. I don’t use any of my real personal information on the site. This is the first time I had met someone near their house on the first meet. He lived right on the boardwalk of a very popular beach in San Diego. There were people everywhere, walking by every minute and the house (which was only the bottom floor) was completely open with two full floor windows. People were walking by and could see everything in the entire house. It was not my best decision to go in but it was in a very public location. No worries. But I will never do that again!

    So I am a personal trainer and when we met he wanted me to be his trainer as part of the “deal” (there is actually no deal, I will never see this “man” again). So today I offered to train him everyday on the beach as a job. Just training. Nothing else. He replied, and I quote “Only if you blow me first”………………………………….really?? I replied with a “I do not blow my (personal training) clients.”

    This guy is a nightmare. No respect for anyone, especially women. I would LOVE it if there was some type of black list? I don’t know the rules on this but this guy claims to be a 28 year old (actually 32) from La Jolla on his profile. So watch out ladies!!

  57. Nico says:

    Nico and RTB – do you think that quality over quantity response would apply for SDs as well? I am 53 but put myself as 49 so that I get picked up in more searches.

    Michael – Being on the flip side of the coin isn’t something I can speak to from personal experience; however, I would share this. I have discovered the older/more mature a gentleman is the more likely he is to be real. He may have been in the sugar-bowl for a while or he just truly understands what this type of relationship is about. I’ve met the exception before…older….yet a dirty old man perv. As for you, I would imagine it would depend on what you’re looking for. The more experienced an SB is the more likely she is to provide you with the experience you seek.

    This wasn’t a screening technique I consciously put into play….it just seems to work out that way.

    Now, before flags are raised and rotten fruit thrown in my direction, this is a very generalized statement. I was very inexperienced when I first came to this site and gained a fountain of information through the blog. Present company is always excluded!!

  58. Reach the Beach SB says:

    Lily – Point taken and likely true in all age categories. Nobody cares for the “bait and switch” and it is ridiculously deceptive. That said, I know of a student who had all her expenses covered by a married man in his 70s. They had a somewhat physical relationship and were together for a few years until she graduated. His wife knew of their arrangement and for whatever reason, it worked. When he passed away, he left her enough to be debt free and she has a great career. Those situations are a needle in a haystack, but hey, who are we to judge?

  59. Lily says:

    RTB – about aging out of the sugarbowl, I really wasn’t referring to men under 60-65. But if a 70 year old (or thereabouts) aged guy enjoys sugar and seeks an SB in her forties or fifties, that seems fine to me. I was thinking about that kinda guy seeking the stereotypical twenty-something aged SB, and how that just won’t fly if a guy is seeking genuine physical attraction. And just squicks me out in general. You’re right that people connect in all different sorts of ways, but like others said, the part that some of us young ladies hate is when a grandpa aged guy puts up photos from the eighties or nineties when they still had dark hair, and lies about his age, and then shows up ‘ready to play’ on a sugar date with a woman much younger than his children, if not his granddaughter’s age. Bait & Switch is not nice. Very few of the eldest SDs put up current photos and real age, and that’s the main problem….

  60. Reach the Beach SB says:

    Bela- Back atchya!

    Carebear – I am seeing a dirty voodoo sock with lots of pins in this guy’s future! It could also ward away the evil movie spirits :-)

  61. carebear says:

    I kinda wanna know who socks guy is. He needs to have his dirty socks shoved in his mouth when he’s asleep at night.

  62. Lily says:

    Just what RTB said, Kara. If he was changing his socks, it shows you didn’t stick to a safe/public place and were somewhere private with him. On a first meeting. Bad idea! You live, you learn….

  63. Bela says:

    Morning all!! This morning has been a bit rocky, but I’m still optimistic that it’s going to get better.

    RTB – I’m sending you mail :)

  64. SouthernGent2 says:

    Kara – its just best not to take shortcuts when meeting someone new. Sure it sounds tempting when it might sound quick and easy. But always remember that many of us men do have an agenda.

    There is a fine line balance to emails going back and forth. If I have some doubts or questions, then I am sending the extra email just for my comfort. The time it takes to send one extra email is a worth a lot more than getting caught in a bad situation. Use the memory of that sock in the face as a good lesson learned.

  65. Reach the Beach SB says:

    Kara – DW is right, but yes there is a balance. Make good use of those e-mails and ask some screening questions. Definitely go through the links on the right side of the blog to get more tips on screening and safety. If he was changing his shoes, it tells me you went to his place. You really put yourself in a vulnerable position for a first date. My first dates are a max 2 hour dinner and go home. I let him know I have a reason for going home that night. A gentleman will honor your commitments and not push. Be VERY careful.

  66. Reach the Beach SB says:

    Michael – All of my SDs have been over 50 and I prefer it that way. So knowing that I’m over 40, attractive, have my house in order (usually) and lack drama…is that appealing to you? It’s altogether possible that it could weed out the drama girls, those who are looking for immediate help with problems, but would you be as intrigued?

  67. Carebear says:

    Ok for those of you cultured movie buffs that like to watch all the nominated movies, do NOT watch winter’s bone unless you have a bottle of antidepressants nearby.

    I won’t be sleeping for a few weeks.

  68. Michael Alleycat says:

    @Kara – I don’t get bored with the emails, they are a really good way to screen, and a great get-to-know-you tool. Ask the same question 3 different ways over the course of a week, and you can v quickly spot those who cannot keep their stories straight.

    But I also want to move to a face to face within a week, assuming there is good chemistry.

  69. Kara says:

    @DW- Thank you. That is obviously my biggest fear with being on the site and meeting people from the internet. We had been talking for a week or so through e-mail but he hid the d-bagness quite well. I find that some guys get bored with the endless e-mails? Assuming those are not the quality SD’s? Does anyone else have this issue?

  70. Dandelion Wine says:

    Kara, on a more serious note, regardless of what you are reading, don’t meet people from teh internetz until you at least talked to them for a while. I’m sure that D-bag’s personality would have become quite apparent after a week or two of exchanging emails.
    Yeah, 30 min meeting may sound easier than 2 weeks of emails, but experiences like that are absolutely degrading, and they will be even more so if they repeat. And you may be lucky you got assaulted by dirty socks, and not drugged/raped/killed

  71. Lisa says:

    Sorry I bought all the good stuff, nothing left but conversation hearts (pack of 8 boxes for 22 cents) and some bagged hearts. most of the chocolate is gone.

    In the age thing, i’m not interested in men under 50, and really prefer upper 50’s, even early 60’s, for a regular bf, he’s not old enough for me till his kids are on their own, so again that would be late 50’s, 60’s it seems because men are waiting to middle age to have children.

    ok, i’m tired, had it for the day
    Goodnight

  72. TexaSugah says:

    Strange that age is the topic of the day.

    I met with a gentleman today. Didn’t meet him on a sugar website so.. He actually brought it up. Anyway.. The pictures on his webpage were obviously taken 20 years ago. In short, he looked older than his daddy. Thankfully, he was a little overweight so it was the Santa effect. Better than the crypt keeper … Am I showing my age?

    Alley- I specifically search in the 50s only. I’d prefer a man who’s more interested in a mistress than one who simply has coco fantasies. Lol

    I guess I’ll dip back to 49, since there’s a treasure trove of 50ish men just below my radar.

    Lisa- don’t tell me about the candy, I might go back tomorrow. Lol

  73. China_doll_DC says:

    Hey ya’ll I’ve been following up on the discussion about age, yes I am really 22, I think I could probably pass for 18 easily but I don’t think the number of men who contact me would really change. I’ve actually thought about putting age to be older than I actually am to weed out the guys who are just looking for a young pretty and perhaps not so intelligent individual. I really still don’t understand the age thing. I mean I can look anywhere from 15-25 depending on my clothes and my hair, so big whoop, but what really matters is the personality. I have had potentials that were great looking and within my age limit, but a horrible personality that I didn’t find attractive. But I’ve also had a potential who was 59 and a wonderful personality (unfortunately he didn’t like the stares we got when we were on our dates) .

    Overall, I feel like attraction can happen regardless of age, so it all doesn’t really matter until I see them in the person. I have been genuinely attracted to men in their fifties, but did they look fifty? Not really. But one thing that they do have is that they were relatively in shape (I love in shape men, regardless of age). I think its really they way you look that matters more. Thats why I don’t use modeling pictures as my profile pics because its a bit unfair since they are designed for you to look nicer. I really don’t get the people who put up pictures of themselves from like ages ago and they look nothing like their pictures. All my are recently within this year and I haven’t gained weight (I think). Any other people have experienced the picture/real life meeting difference?

  74. Lisa says:

    Honesty is the best policy when it comes to giving one’s age. To me it’s too much trouble to remember to lie about the dates of all life events if I was to lie about my age. I met a sd that lied about his age by many many years. When I met him, I thought he looked old for 51. We were walking past the clock tower in the mall and it says “estabished 1965” which is the year I was born. When he seen the clock, he mentioned “1965, the year I graduated from college ” well that would put him 22years older than me, or at that time 65, not 51. I don’t want the stress of changing my age, daughter’s age, age I got married, etc, etc. you know the thing about the tangle we weave when we first practice to deceive.

    I stopped by target this evening and their valentines candy was 90 percent off and although most was picked over, having working there in the past, I knew to dig through the boring stuff for the hidden stuff. I got 16 dollars worth of candy for 1.60 :)

  75. Jessie says:

    @Kara – I’m sorry you had such a horrible experience. I know you don’t need a lecture right now…but I’m sure if you’ve followed the blog, you’ve read 100 times or more…”if you’re meeting a your pot for the first time, make sure it’s in a public place.” Of course, this could have been in public, and if it was, forget this post. I’m just thinking how much worse it could have been. Remember, safety above all else.

  76. Michael Alleycat says:

    Nico and RTB – do you think that quality over quantity response would apply for SDs as well? I am 53 but put myself as 49 so that I get picked up in more searches.

  77. Nico says:

    RTB…..you most definitely summed up the feeling I had when I wrote my post. The quality vs quantity is there…less sifting to do to find the one.

  78. Reach the Beach SB says:

    Kara – Ugh…DW was right! I wish I could think that quickly on my feet! Bwahahaha…I humor myself!

    He does need to be blacklisted…that’s bad behavior all the way around and gives SA a bad name.

  79. Reach the Beach SB says:

    I highly recommend putting your real age on your profile if you’re 40 or over. Even when I fudged my age to 39 to get picked up in the searches, I don’t get near the amount of fakers, scammers, pic collectors and time wasters as my younger counterparts. It’s less volume, but certainly better quality!

  80. cleo says:

    stormcat: oh i totally know what you mean, and yes, i think you’re right but i was kind of lumping a giant thing into a single phrase. i actually think that may happen, but i’ve learned my lesson about believing in things that aren’t in front of me *right now*

    i can only handle so much unfulfilled hope in a year… otherwise it’s hard to keep the “positive attitude” balloon lighter (and thus more dominant) than the “miserable bitch” balloon
    .
    lasb: i sure will if i do it

  81. LASB says:

    Nico – Thanks for the heads up. I often think about lying on my profile to say that I’m 40 because I’d prefer to be with an SD who isn’t looking at me or treating me as if I’m about to expire. I like the older guys, but of a certain variety. On one hand, I want him to be mature in the head. On the other hand, I want him to be youthful, physically speaking. I believe many of us older SBs on the blog encompass that–Yes, even the ones in America! Some of us actually stay in shape, eat healthy, and try to push that expiration date a bit further.

    Cleo – Please report back if you do it. I’m curious to see if it changes anything.

    Kara – How crass! Definitely not a real SD.

  82. TexaSugah says:

    Kara and DW… Oh that’s both horrid and funny. That ass was a biohazard. Jerk!

  83. Dandelion Wine says:

    You should have set them on fire and threw them back at him – catch is so much more fun to play when the stakes are upped!

  84. Stormcat says:

    Oh Kara what a jerk! I hope you immediately left! Don’t tolerate such behavior. Block him, report him to SA, and in the future If anyone even brings up sex at the first meet, walk out immediately.

  85. Kara says:

    I literally just had the worst SA experience thus far. I met this guy for the first time. He was literally telling me about the 2 girls he has had sex wit the past 2 nights, and then a bunch of other girls he’s fucked. And THEN he showed me pictures of them, like I cared? And THEN he was changing his shoes into flip flops, he took off his socks and tried to hand them to me. I did not take them (obviously??), so he threw them at me. Both of them! His dirty socks!! One of them landed on my shoulder!! And this was the first time we had met…what the @#$%?!

  86. Stormcat says:

    Cleo ~ IMHO more often than not no one actually says I want you to be my SB in so many words. It just sort of happens. You just keep seeing other in a rather relaxed way, you talk with each other about what you would expect out of having an arrangement, you also say what you would not want, then one day he passes you an envelope or a loaded credit card, later you find yourselves sharing a meal or enjoying a moment in each other’s arms, and there it is, you’re in an arrangement. A lot of it is understood and it isn;t that the details haven’t been communicated, it’s just that it doesn’t need to be formally stated. It just simply happens when two people reach a state of mutual understanding. You may already be there, with one of those awesome potentials, but you are just beyond his reach because you are expecting verbal committment. To make the sale just keep encouraging his return and encouraging him to cross that action line. Talk as though it has already happened. Something like, “Darling do you think we could visit xxxx place togather on xxxx date? By the way, I was thinking the best way for you to give me my allowance would be xxxx on the 5th of each month.”

  87. cleo says:

    enigma: i wish my somebody would hurry up. there is some absolutely awesome potential in my pool but no one who has said “yes! i want you to be my sb” and then followed through.

    potential is wonderful but *shrug*

  88. cleo says:

    nico: hmm maybe i’ll turn 40 early and let you know if my profile gets more hits :)

  89. GenuineSD says:

    Yes, I think that, at each age, there are desirable things to derive from sugar. Yes, there are self-imposed “age-limits” that we each find… a sort of comfort zone in relating to another person in the sugar bowl… Some seek large differences, others don’t.. I suspect that for most it’s the “sliding scale approach”.. where “younger” doesn’t necessarily mean 20 – 30, but means relatively younger… and “older” works the same way.
    In the end, we all seek some degree of relating to the other person… some relate across broader gaps than others…. and “relating” may be physical, but it doesn’t have to. The ability to make a significant beneficial impact isn’t age related… it’s a trait some have…. an ability to see more deeply and longer term… and a desire to see their sugar-partner benefit from the arrangement…
    I don’t believe it’s related to age as much as to mind-set…
    But there is no one-size fits all, that’s the beauty of this, as was staed before.. there’s somebody for everybody

  90. Reach the Beach SB says:

    Enigma SD – I didn’t mean it that way…meant that the gents I’ve met have been so much more than an allowance. They have truly made significant differences as mentors, friends, lovers and friends. Been to any great concerts lately?

  91. Carebear says:

    Enigma, I wouldnt worry about age if I were you. You get younger and younger every month =)

  92. Enigma SD says:

    was briefly considering switching sides but decided against it…. I never considered you to be shallow :)

  93. Reach the Beach SB says:

    Enigma SB…ummmmm…is there something you want to tell us? Are you switching sides? :-) Or is this really Enigma SD? To your point, it can be shallow in its most elemental form, however my arrangements have been far from shallow. Maybe I’m the lucky, optimistic one.

  94. Enigma SB says:

    RTB — as usual, I found your post enlightening. I have always thought this site was about as shallow as a website could be. I know this not may be true for all, but this site is mainly about looks and money, which is about as shallow as it gets IMHO. I do completely agree that this site isn’t just for “beautiful people.” Just like IRL dating, there is a match for almost everyone.

  95. Reach the Beach SB says:

    Kara – Yay! Keep us posted

    Nico – Well said! Based on our observations, we may be onto something!

    Gail – Know the area very well :-) Hence the new blog name. The pub crawls would be an absolute blast! There may have been one a few weeks ago according to some reports.

  96. Nico says:

    Cleo….I think women in their 40’s but look like they’re in their 30’s is a HUGE bonus….win/win for the SD. They get the more mature/experienced SB (nothing against younger gals) yet she still looks much younger 😉 I’ve never fibbed on my age (in my profile and don’t have one now either) but finding an SD was easier after I turned 40 than before 😀

  97. Reach the Beach SB says:

    Lily – Why would a gentleman “age out” of the sugar bowl? There are quality SBs ages 40+ who prefer the gent you would consider too old. As one, I can say that I look better now than I did as a 20 something, plus I am at my sexual peak…men of all ages can certainly appreciate that. Why do you think dating cougars has suddenly become so popular? I can honestly say that I have 3-4 generations of men to date within…so I don’t see where a man should have to quit the sugar bowl due to age. The one truth to this is that a 60s+ man may have fewer ladies to choose from who will genuinely appreciate his assistance, but if he modifies his criteria slightly, he may be pleasantly surprised with a 40 y.o. SB. As for sex…it’s a big part of sugar, but for the man whose libido is deteriorating, there are certainly other forms of pleasure to be gained from a wonderful companion. Quality comes in many shapes, sizes and IQs…this is not that shallow web site where only the “beautiful people” are accepted. We all want something different…including you.

  98. cleo says:

    enigma i’m still wrestling with the ‘to lie or not to lie’ dilemma. no one believes i’m turning forty this year, the oldest anyone EVER guesses is 33 and yet i know i’m ‘too old’ even though i’m full of verve and energy … it’s an odd dilemma on both sides

  99. Stormcat says:

    My sister is 18 years younger than I, and we have always been very close. As a result, women 20 years younger, than I, don’t seem like they are from another planet. Rather they feel like they are in my same generation. However, much more than that and I start to feel uncomfortable.

    I haven’t searched for a while now but when I did, I usually limited my search criteria to 35+. I just felt that I didn’t have much in common with women younger than that. However, I find that a lot of 35 year olds list their age at 29 so I was missing a large number of the most desirable potential SBs.

  100. Carebear says:

    I don’t think 66 year olds should date 22 year olds. But that’s just me.

  101. Enigma SD says:

    CaliSD — I agree with you. The hottest SB I ever had is now 36 and was 34 when I was seeing her — she turned heads of all age groups :) It is just a numbers game.

    Hi NCHeels — long time no see :)

  102. Enigma SD says:

    Lily — there just are very few pot SBs their late 20s to late 30s in general that are geographically near me. I really wouldn’t search younger than 28 years old. I tried going as young as 23 last summer, and that didn’t work. For kicks, I did a search with my criteria, and about 30 profiles came up that had logged in during the last 2 weeks. I have messaged about one third of those over the last year, the rest there was something that didn’t meet my objectives (wanted single men only, couldn’t travel, couldn’t spell, etc).

    There are a lot of women in NYC that meet my criteria, but I think that there must be enough SDs in NYC that they really won’t consider a long distance SD. I gave up on mailing NYC SBs long ago :)

  103. NC Heels says:

    Forgot to add: I believe some of the problem with “when to age out” comes in when SDs don’t adjust to their increasing age. That means posting accurate photos and having realistic expectations. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with staying in as long as you want, provided you are not 70 looking for a 20 year old. Do it if you want, but it might eventually necessitate “aging out” when you could go for a more realistic age range.

  104. NC Heels says:

    In regards to the age issue, I think everyone is different but it’s been my experience that 20-25 years is about right. Anything more and I start thinking of Grandpa… I love the 15-20ish range and have had great and lasting chemistry with men who are now late 40s, and I am 27. I have met a few guys who were late 50s who had been with SBs with a 30 year difference- I felt a little put off. I also feel that some of those men who seek out 30 or more years difference may be looking to take advantage. I haven’t particularly liked the personality or intentions of the 55-60ish men I’ve met who look at 20s, but that is just my experience. I feel if a man is closer to 60, 30s to 40s would be a better match on many levels.

  105. CaliSD says:

    @SouthernGent2: I cannot think of any criteria that 30+ yr old ladies cannot match 20 somethings. In Calif, there are lots of extremely fit/hot ladies from 30-50 yrs.. And I have not noticed any wrinkles on them yet :). Any specific criteria for you that 30+ cannot match 20 somethings?

  106. Lily says:

    Southern & Enigma – so what are these difficult criteria that is hard to find in your area in women over 25 or so? Is it mostly about a woman letting her physique deteriorate before she really ought to (before *gravity* takes a hold in the 40s)…? I totally agree with you that in the US, with people not having nearly as good of an approach to diet/exercise and physical standards to which they hold their body, it’s not that sexy to see someone who has let herself/himself go, and not inducing of chemistry. The arrangements that I have found always came along with a fit and toned, amazing physique. And one was over 2 decades older than me, but in better athletic shape than me! (I’m skinny based on genes, not on any athletic prowess)
    I’m just curious…. do the late twenties and thirtysomething SBs on this site really have work to do in the physique department? You’d think a gym membership and chunking of excess weight would be legwork to be accomplished *before* meeting potentials…. *scratches head*

  107. cleo says:

    CaliSD: u r hot, send more pics

    actual direct quote from an email that was never answered… chemistry depends on the man, getting to the dinner table depends on the manners…

  108. CaliSD says:

    @loved.. true the chemistry depends on the girl.. but most emails I have received from the younger 19-25 range often include the words cuz, becuz, becoz, peeps, lolz and worse… not exactly chemistry inducing stuff..

  109. loved says:

    Hi everyone,

    Thanks everyone that responded to my questions on the last blog, it really helped.

    For the SD that says that there is no chemistry with young girls I feel like it would depend on the girl. Obviously you would probably have more in common with someone from the same generation lol but a young SB can keep you feeling young and keep you on your toes.

    I met my first SD when I was 19 and he was in his mid 50s, the relationship lasted two years and was great. Neither of us felt weird about the age difference in public or private. I find myself, most of the time, bored by suitors my own age. I think SDs may feel this way too at times. Not to say that SBs that are not in their 20s are not wanted on the site. I feel like from what I’ve read they do better than us young ones lol.

    Mind you, I did not find my first SD on a site, so after it ended (amicably) and I wanted something similar I felt like anyone getting back into dating after a long relationship OVERWHELMED rofl.

  110. SouthernGent2 says:

    Enigma – I admit I share the same line of thinking. I prefer to be realistic about things. I realize its not nearly as easy for an early 20’s girl to be attracted to a man of my age as it is for me to be attracted to someone of her age. I probably should be giving the late 20’s and early 30’s more of a look, but its just not that easy to find someone in that age range that fits my criteria.

  111. Bela says:

    My first SD and I were together for a little over a year. I was 20 at the time.

  112. Enigma SD says:

    Lily — your thoughts on SDs “aging” out mirrored mine. I often wonder how much longer I can have fun in the sugar world. I really don’t want someone to fake interest in me, and I am realistic enough to know that not many women in their 20s are going to find a guy in his late 40s attractive. There really aren’t many SBs in their 30/40s in my area (250 mile radius) that I find attractive. I think it is a natural progression to age out of sugar dating, and thankfully it coincides with a drop in libido.

    Genuine SD — your response was hilarious – I had to spit out my coffee :)

    Question for SB/SDs…. any SBs under 25 had a sugar relationship last more than 4 months? Any SDs had a sugar relationship with an SB under 25 that last more than 4 months?

  113. PDX SB says:

    Any blog SB’s in Portland, OR? I could use a sugar friend…

  114. PDX SB says:

    Hi sugarfam! New name due to privacy issues.

    Sugar Babies: Have you ever been in a bf/gf or bf/bf or gf/gf relationship that you felt supported, or unsupported in financially speaking?

    I am generous in nature and have always been a supporter of my bf’s. I probably won’t do that again now that I have been in the sugarbowl off and on for 3 years.

    Do you apply any of the same standards you have for potential sugar daddies to potential partners in a non-sugar relationship?

    I do now, but haven’t in the past.

    How would you most prefer your sugar to end your arrangement? By having already informed you when it would end prior to getting involved? After they’ve achieved a certain goal that you helped them with?

    It would be nice to receive some notice. I would find it considerate to be offered something of a severance package. It definitely beats poofsville.

  115. Lily says:

    CaliSD, your words were so sexy!!! I love knowing that not all men feel the same way.
    I actually enjoy an age difference up to 20 years or so. Totally depends on the shape the person is in. I’m just kind of unimpressed with 3-5 decades age gaps, that’s all.

  116. cleo says:

    (this actually happened to me more than once and never in a conversation that wasn’t friendly)

  117. cleo says:

    you know my head scratcher?

    why does a guy block you AFTER replying to your email and before getting your reply? um i offended you with not answering you the same day? you psychically knew i would say something bitchy? um wha?

  118. Carebear says:

    *greeted was supposed to be grrrrrrrrr thank you icrap for the autospell. Surely, greeted was the correct word to express my emotions. I’ll never have a typo with you around.

  119. Carebear says:

    Thanks Sa!

    Question. Why do men send you their phone number in thefirst email? Does anyone ever feel compelled to call? I’m going to start collecting them and handing them out to the idiots that ask for MY number in the first email.

    Any SD’s use this technique successfully? Any sb’s bother with it? Sometimes if I’m pmsing or having a bad day I’ll say ‘you scream desperate, try next girl down’.

    Greeted.

  120. SA Email Exchange says:

    Carebear & China_doll_DC – Your e-mails have been sent!

  121. Carebear says:

    Google sugardaddy black list and a few may pop up. I never actually submitted good ole quiz guy, just wrong a long embarrassing blog entry about him.

    If anyone has a moment to pass my email to china doll please feel free to do so at your convenience =)

    <3

  122. Texasugah says:

    Well Jimmney Christmas.. I couldn’t post.

    I’ve been MIA after Fakey McFlakey acted up and now returned. My PT sugar is still great tho.

    Gail – thanks for the comments on my blog.. that DOM was a trip.

    Carebear – where is this black list? I have an addition. LOL

    I have yet to be completely supported by anyone since my parents. My ex was a user so I did the supporting. Won’t do that again.

    You know what I’ve found.. Tons of guys on every sugar site with the same idea of what they want.. that viagra commercial where the guy walks in the party, looks at his lover and she immediately gets up and takes off with him. Ahh the power of advertising. LOL

  123. Texasugah says:

    wow can’t seem to post

  124. China_doll_DC says:

    @carebear – maybe we can exchange stories. Wanna exchange emails?

  125. CaliSD says:

    When do I exit the sugarbowl? I am married, in great shape, and in my mid 40s and generally prefer sugarbabes within ~10 yrs of my age.. More mistress than sugarbabe, I guess. I just feel odd in public with someone my daughters age. There is absolutely no chemistry inside or outside the bedroom with someone 20 yrs younger than me. So probably at 60, if I still had the libido, I would probably have ~50-55 yr old vixens as my sugarbabes :) .

  126. stephan says:

    @ CultureDaddy (nerd): Thank you my good sir :). ‘Shinning’, I did have a bad feeling about that one. No apologies necessary! The blood rush to the head (helped with 10 shots of esprosso a day) is a last resort against the writers block, that and drawing from the convo on the previous blog comment thread, which is where some of the original topics on this post came from.

    Please please please help me fix any and all spelling/grammar errors. Truly feel lucky to have the intelligent feedback and education from ya’ll :)

  127. Texasugah says:

    Hey y’all.. I dropped off the sugar radar. The whole deal with Mr. Big really made me take a step back. He’s insecure and weird. Who knows. He disappeared and now reappeared. Another one did the same.. back from major illness. Had no idea he was that sick.

    @carebear – where’s this black list that I’ve heard of? and the non-lips. LOL oh that’s good.

    @Gail – thanks for the comment on the blog. It’s really a work in progress. You know that whole Dom thing was hilarious. OMG!!!!

    My part-time sugar is still great. Came to take me out last night even though he was sick. Poor baby.

  128. cleo says:

    (nope, that one’s been fixed… )

    i sympathise, the whole weary/wary, discrete/discreet, etc thing makes me nuts

  129. CultureDaddy (nerd) says:

    @Cleo: Are you a nerd too? How exciting! [sticks head out of shell and grins uncertainly]

  130. cleo says:

    culture daddy: not to mention a there their they’re error…

  131. CultureDaddy (nerd) says:

    @Alleycat/Stephan: I hate to rain on anybody’s parade, but I must confess that, despite sharing the excitement over limerent, I ended my scrutiny of your as-always-excellent essay feeling queasy about the grammar and spelling – for the first time!

    I trust that “one anothers joy” and “havent” were temporary apostrophic aberrations, while “shinning”, “implicitly by design” and “i.e.” for “e.g.” were no doubt caused by a sudden rush of blood to the head.

    Sorry sorry sorry! [Must curb my grammar nerd tendencies].

  132. carebear says:

    block him from every angle possible.

    submit his name to a black list.

    i’m going through that with someone. 5 months later.

  133. Dandelion Wine says:

    Michael, sheesh, I’ve used limerence/limerent in conversation plenty of times, and I didn’t major in psych or play crosswords or scrabble, Stephan is just smart XD

  134. China_doll_DC says:

    BTW: does anyone know where I can go to report a member for harassment, one guy who I kindly told to leave me alone is now harassing me non-stop via email. I don’t think he should be allowed to see other SBs because he 1)Lied about his age 2) wouldn’t stop trying to feel me up through the date 3) insulted me to my face at the end of the date, and now is insulting me to the point of disbelief. Advice?

  135. China_doll_DC says:

    @ the conversation with using words from long ago: isn’t that just darlin’ darling? I love it when people use bigger words, it shows intelligence.

    @ Lily and GeunineSD and others: with regards to the age difference, I’ve met men who are old enough to be my grandfather, and they were uncomfortable actually spending time with me (I wasn’t the uncomfortable one here, I don’t get flustered easily) due to the very apparent age difference. Now with regards to their libido. LOL. So sorry to laugh, but I have a story that is not quite appropriate for the blog with regards to that one. One of the ones that I get alot is that the man posted is really old pic of himself and looks nothing like the pic except for a vague resemblance. And then when he sees me he goes, “You look way better in the person!” And I am tempted to go, “you look nothing like yours”. I don’t mind being seen with older men, I just mind being lied to.

    @carebear: mushy nonlips… ROFLMAO. Oh the stories.

  136. carebear says:

    Nerds.

    <3

  137. stephan says:

    @ Michael Alleycat: those are all good guesses! And thank you for suggesting I’d be a scrabble wiz but I must admit despite trying hard I usually never win :( But I found out about that word ‘limerent’ from the SA book :) I forgot which chapter, think it’s in the beginning, but it always stuck with me because I was in one of those limerent relationships, I was the one who was obsessed. Hehe. Oh it wasn’t fun. Well, the high high’s were fun I guess, but there were so many low lows in that intense 2yr relationship. Must admit i’m still not totally over it. But through reading the comments here, I’ve had a support system and tons of wise truths. :) I owe you guys. BTW psych was one of my favorite courses at junior college!

    @ Cleo: Oh I love that word tawdry and now I actually know a proper way to use it! Thanks for the compliment :) and I’m sure we’ll always have plenty more weird words unfold on the reg here :) c’mmon sugars here have been pioneering a whole new lexicon, and it shows all over the web (sugars’ lingo from the suga fam) haha 😉

  138. carebear says:

    Ahhhh nightmares of mushy nonlips!

  139. cleo says:

    alleycat/stephan: i didn’t even notice that it’s a ‘weird’ word since i love obscure language and regularly use old words in common speech

    like the other day, i described a situation as tawdry and the lady i said it to started crowing about how her partner wants to bring back words like that and she cant wait to tell her i used it in a sentence…

    so three cheers for the weird words stephan!

    (and way to bring in a new topic when the old one was clearly exhausted)

  140. Lily says:

    Genuine, turn that frown upside down….. I wasn’t speaking about anyone in particular, and certainly not about anyone under 60-65. I was just thinking out loud about the scenario of the hypothetical wealthy man addicted to the sugarbowl, and what might happen eventually if he can’t figure out a graceful exit from the sugarbowl on his own. And I surmised out loud that genuine SBs would be harder and harder, eventually impossible, for him to attract.

    I have seen and met senior citizens via SA, keen on romance with women young enough to not just be their daughters, but sometimes young enough to be their granddaughters (if you have to scrunch up your brow and count the years and wonder if he could be your grandfather, then you’ve already answered the question whether or not he’s perhaps ‘too old’ for you…). I’m sure there’s nightmares aplenty for the gentlemen to navigate in their screening process, but I was just painting the picture of a very common scenario us SBs run into……they post pictures of what they looked like at middle age, and then show up and let us suffer sticker shock when we do the math in our heads and slowly count the decades age difference and wonder what a polite way to end the date would be without offending “grandpa”…..

    Now you guys can feel free to offer up your worst-case-date-scenarios that I probably wouldn’t have even thought of, in terms of what you guys deal with in terms of ‘bait and switch’ on first dates vs. previous online correspondence, and the various ‘types’ of unsavory candidates that you feel don’t belong on a sugar dating site…. I find this blog interesting for many reasons, and one of those is our commiseration and empathizing with one another of what hard work it is to find a genuine, fulfilling sugar relationship which makes sense in every way….

  141. Michael Alleycat says:

    @Genuine – lmao

  142. GenuineSD says:

    @ Lily
    or perhaps they read the blog long enough to get wise and understand the disdain with which they are held….

  143. Lily says:

    Probably married SDs just continue sampling the buffet until they’re so old and/or unattractive that they really can’t attract anyone (for a genuine non-platonic relationship, despite the dangling carrot of sugar) besides professionals of one sort or another, and then they are forced to dally with pros (and, if they have taste, the high hourly price tag that comes along with them).

    The other alternative, is that with advanced age, their libido drops enough to relieve them of the humiliating & degrading pursuit of young women. There ARE other joys in life. Better than becoming a dirty old man.

  144. Stephan – limerent? Really? You have to be a scrabble enthusiastic and a crossword geek to use ‘limerent’ in a sentence. Or you have WAY too much time on your hands.

  145. cleo says:

    sd guru i think it’s kind of like custody agreements, people should make them while they still like each other. negotiate the end at the beginning, will there be notice? will there be ‘severance’? will either party be able to terminate without confrontation at any time? etc

    if you make a deal when you’re friends and you stick to it when you aren’t anymore, chances are that in the long run no one would feel screwed

  146. Nico says:

    Very good ideas Lily….thank you 😀

  147. Lily says:

    He could make payments to your car loan directly?
    He could organize a contractor for you to get your bathroom or kitchen remodelled and cover it himself over those few months that the work gets done? Why can’t you just tell him what you had in mind when making a profile on seeking arrangement & ask him if there’s any compromise between what you had in mind & his big idea of clothes shopping.

  148. Nico says:

    Hey Gail :-) I’ve been back in CO since March of last year. Yes, I know the Broadmoor…..beautiful place!!! Good to see you too!! I’ve been around some…lurking mostly but still here!!

    I was out with a SD once, shopping. He was determined to get me something but he goes and grabs a chair and tells me, “go pick something out”. I need somebody interactive (?)…somebody who picks things out that he would like to see on me or, take that into consideration with the allowance. OR, better yet, do the Pretty Woman thing!!! I do like this guy though so I know we can strike a balance. For example, I already pay for a gym membership so maybe he could cover my membership for a year…..or pay for yoga classes (since I’m planning to do that anyway). I was thinking about the reloadable card too….gonna keep brainstorming. :-)

    Hi Lisa….gooooood to see you 😀

    • SD Guru says:

      @Gail
      shopping with a SD can be tough…actually most men.

      That could be true. But did I tell you about the time I went to Victoria’s Secret with two hot girls…?? :mrgreen:

      @Nico
      I really don’t like shopping with a SD… I would prefer $ to go toward paying off my car early or remodeling my home…

      Most gift SD’s don’t like the idea of money changing hands and want some control over how money is spent. One way to strike a balance is to ask him to take care of specific expenses directly. Instead of spending money on shopping, see if he is willing to spend a comparable amount to pay off certain bills or credit card balance. This way he knows exactly where his money went and you get to reduce your expenses.

      As we’ve discussed before, arrangements can come in many different forms and it’s not always based on allowance. This is why I suggested to Stephan that there should be a way to indicate what type of arrangement you’re open to in a profile. It can be used as a screening tool so that allowance seeking SB’s don’t waste time with gift SD’s, and vice versa.

      ——————–

      RE: Expiration Date and Exit Strategy

      This is a topic most people don’t think about in the sugar world. After all, why think about it when the sugar is so sweet? But in reality all good things must come to an end, sometimes sooner than expected, so the more prepared you are the easier it is to handle.

      Even though NSA relationships can end at any time for any reason, ideally both parties should have some understanding as to what those reasons might be so they can anticipate it. I’ve had SB’s who graduated from college or moved to another part of the country and the arrangement came to a natural amicable end. But then I’ve had one long term SB who just went poof without a trace and I still wonder what happened to her til this day.

      As for exit strategy, I have often contemplated what it should be for married SD’s. Unlike single/divorced SD’s who have the option of happily ever after, getting emotionally involved and falling in love is a luxury most married SD’s don’t have. I have SD friends who became happily married or engaged and made a graceful exit from the sugar world. For married SD’s the options are not so clear.

  149. Lisa says:

    Hi Gail well he paid 96 dollars a month for medicare and 250 for a suppliment, it’s hard to believe after paying 346 a month, little was covered. mom isn’t liable for anything though. the ICU was approved but the emergency room wasn’t and neither was his breathing machine or any of the tests. ridiculous.

    Men usually don’t like to shop. If you have ever working in a clothing department, you will find the women’s dressing room has more clothes to return than the men’s.

  150. Gail says:

    Hi Lisa~Wow…that’s quite a bit of money for the hospital bill. I love Kaiser….just pay your deductible : ) I agree Lisa…shopping with a SD can be tough…actually most men. I have only found one man in my lifetime that can outshop me. LOL….

  151. Kara says:

    @RTB- thanks for the response on my question on the previous post. I am meeting a pot tomorrow :)

  152. Lisa says:

    Good evening Gail

    wow 16 hours in the hospital costed my dad 24k, medicare sucks, it paid 1k of the 20k actual hospital bill and about 600 of the other fees.

    I would rather have allowance too, i’m not much into shopping with a guy, I prefer to go alone and take my time. I’ve been shopping with 2 sds in the past and felt like I had to rush because I might be boring them.

    I love google maps, I can look in my window when I google my address. of course it’s an old picture and someone else was obviously living here. lol

  153. Gail says:

    Greetings Nico!!!! I wondered where you were…. Whaaaat? In Colorado now? Are you anywhere near Colorado Springs? There’s a beautiful resort called the Broadmoor…it’s luxurious and plenty to do around there.

    I suggest hints for a reloadable $1,000 gift Visa card. That way you can do whatever you want with it. Just ask…it’s a 50/50 chance…yes or no : ) Once again, nice to hear from you Nico.

  154. Carebear says:

    Have a new fave pick up line:

    “I like to look things up on google maps. What’s your address?”

  155. Nico says:

    @ Gail…this prior FL SB is now in Colorado….although I visit my investment (house) often….just got back after a week in FL…sooo nice!!

    Okay blog. I probably shouldn’t be changing the blog topic so quickly but I could use some collective input here.

    I’m an allowance gal but my pot is a ‘gift’ daddy. I really don’t like shopping with a SD ~ it’s uncomfortable and would prefer that to be something I do with the girls. What are some ways ‘gifts’ can be exchanged that would appease my more practical needs? I would prefer $ to go toward paying off my car early or remodeling my home OR possibly a shopping trip with my girlfriends. There must be some type of balance?? ALL input thoughts are welcome!!!

  156. The Lone Gunman in Australia says:

    @Gail: Where have the South Florida SD/SBs gone?

    Best guess is that many got pounded by the mortgage meltdown nailing their investments, and are retrenching on the down low for now. My suspicion is that conspicuous consumption is going to become a bit less socially acceptable for a while until the financial markets even out down there.

  157. Gail says:

    I love Florida RTB….especially West Palm Beach. You have got a experience a pub crawl when you get there: ) We use to have SDs and SBs that lived in Florida who posted around last year. I wonder where they are now.

    By the way…I will add your house to the list…I will let you know when I put it on the schedule : )
    Back to cooking and cleaning~

  158. Reach the Beach SB says:

    Gail – Can I add my house to the list? :-)

    I’m watching all these shows that are being hosted in FL and am having sun-n-fun withdrawals! Trip coming soon…very soon.

  159. Gail says:

    Morning RTB~You didn’t kill the blog : ) Life goes on especially on a Friday nite.

    Now to answer the blog questions. I have always been the breadwinner in IRL relationships. I have cared enough about my ex(s) that both have worked in the companies I manage. So in the sugar world, it’s a luxury to have someone take care of me. I struggled in the beginning with allowing my sd to pay for everything. Now I am much better at accepting their assistance.
    Notice would be nice, but if not…I know I will be okay, because life is great right now.

    Morning Lisa and my sugar friends….I have enough coffee in my system to clean 3 houses this morning. Have the best day ever!!!!

  160. carebear says:

    RTB I didn’t mean it like thaaaaaat hahaha

    =(

  161. Reach the Beach SB aka Blog Killer says:

    Good morning!

    Sugar Babies: Have you ever been in a bf/gf or bf/bf or gf/gf relationship that you felt supported, or unsupported in financially speaking? Do you apply any of the same standards you have for potential sugar daddies to potential partners in a non-sugar relationship? I have had both types of relationships, however I do not apply the same standards to a potential suitor as I do an SD. I’ve been very lucky in the SD world in that my gents have always been proactively willing to be helpful in any and all situations….and provide that retreat along the way. It’s so very different IRL. My “picker” is so off when it comes to love, but I’ve grown smarter over the years. When I was married, it looked like the ideal marriage, but after nine years and little progress, I had to do a reality check. Since then, my priorities, desires and tolerances have changed dramatically, so the men in my life have had a difficult time being able to meet those.

    How would you most prefer your sugar to end your arrangement? By having already informed you when it would end prior to getting involved? After they’ve acheived a certain goal that you helped them with? I like a little “notice”, but beyond that should end organically and respectfully. Achieving a goal doesn’t mean there isn’t another to achieve. Relocating doesn’t mean travel can’t be arranged. As long as it’s fun and mutually beneficial, why put an expiration date on it?

  162. Lily says:

    I’ve never been supported by a boyfriend. Only a husband and an SD. I think that if I did have a boyfriend paying my bills, and I loved him, I’d be happy with that. Why not? I would actually prefer the scenario that I would get a tenant to rent out my home & then allow a bf to get a big place for us to live in together, then i could save my earnings from work & renting my home, for the future.

  163. Kara says:

    Third!! Exciting

  164. The Lone Gunman in Australia says:

    HA! FIRST—from the FUTURE!!!!!

    (Gotta love that IDL.)

    Now on to the questions……

    Sugar Daddies: How and why do you think you would ever come about ending your sugarlife?

    Assuming you mean leaving the Sugar World permanently, that would entail meeting a partner in crime so in tune with me–my wants, needs and desires (and I the same with her)–that to be apart made no sense whatsoever because we’d never find another like the other. There’s one out there right now who’s very close to this ideal, but only time will show us that it is sustainable.

    How would you most prefer your sugar to end your arrangement? By having already informed you when it would end prior to getting involved? After they’ve acheived a certain goal that you helped them with?

    I have had both things end an arrangement, the first usually due to a calendar event such as the end of a course of study, the second with the achievement of a goal as stated which caused the relocation of the SB.

    Frankly, it’s best to also make sure that you both understand that an arrangement can be ended by either party, at any time, for any reason–and to accept that as a possibility from the beginning.

    TLG

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