6 years ago
Craving for Sugar Daddies and Sugar Babies

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Always hot and stirring, the Sugar Daddy dating bowl draws men and women from all around the world seeking more than just the obvious benefits in their desired Sugar Daddy relationships. Many seekers have admitted to being on the hunt for that oh so sweet sugar high, even after resigning from their sugarlife.

One Sugar Baby member of SeekingArrangement.com who’s profile is currently in hiding recently said that the “sugar can be very addictive.” She attributes much of her success as a financially independent small business owner to the relationships she had with successful and interesting men along her sugar journey.

Yet now that her seeking days are over and she’s dating a man whom she adores in a ‘traditional’ boyfriend/girlfriend (marriage bound) relationship, she’s found herself resisting the urge to take another dip into the Sugarbowl. “I even told my boyfriend about it, and he’s so great, he just listens… I think it’s always going to be something I have a desire for, to be with someone new who’s all about me and I all about him, but I’m happy with what I have now, well…  for now at least”.

In a new book titled “Sugar Daddy Diaries: When a Fantasy Became an Obsession“, author Helen Croydon describes her journey into the valley of sugar, and the unexpected cravings she developed for a lifestyle she had no idea could be as addictive as it became. Here’s the description from the yet to be released book via Amazon:

“Frustrated with her stalled career as a broadcast journalist and uninspired by dating naive and needy guys her own age, Helen Croydon joins a website to seek an older man. She only expects it to be a few fun dates in some fancy bars, but finds herself propelled into a world of Prada shopping trips, fine dining, first-class travel and fascinating, powerful men. But underneath the glamour, Helen discovers a secret world of men who are prepared to pay for girlfriends – men so busy they consider cash and gifts a surer way of maintaining a relationship than emotional investment.

When some of her dates allude to monthly allowances in exchange for her company, she’s shocked. But for how long can she keep up her moral resistance to being paid for something she is doing thrillingly for free? Helen’s soul-searching dating adventures take her to New York, India, highbrow sex parties, ski trips in Colorado and most of London’s finest hotels. “Sugar Daddy” is a confessional true story that questions modern ideals about relationships, examines the attraction of power and asks if money can ever be currency for love.”

Under the Influence of Sugar

While many SD’s and SB’s contain their sugarlife within specific boundaries, it’s common for sugars to find themselves being pleasantly swept off their feet by unexpected sweetness. For example, many married sugars are very content with staying with their husbands or wives, and don’t want to jeopardize their marriage by getting too entangled with a lover, which is why many of them pursue a sugar arrangement in the first place (for a no-strings-attached, expressly non-permanent relationship). However, there’s always a chance that love and chemistry can alter the course of even the most clearly designated arrangements.

Sugar Dependence

The desire for an abundant sugarlife has for some, become an “obsession”.  Some have expressed a preoccupation with finding new potentials, going on sugar dates, and having more and more benefits as part of their ‘dependency’ with sugar. Some sugars are constantly chasing the gift high, in which the gift itself isn’t what causes the euphoria, but rather the experience of being given the gift, which serves as a form of approval, and part of how they consider themselves as being valuable, hot, and worthy. Another form of sugar dependency is becoming dependent on  a certain sugar, which seems to be a common issue among Sugar Babies (with dependent Sugar Daddies) and Sugar Daddies (with dependent Sugar Babies) alike.

Did you start your sugar dating journey with any predetermined limitations or boundaries? If so, have you always adhered to them? Why or why not?

What aspect of sugar do you find most alluring if not addictive? Having the hottest dates ever? Enjoying the finer things in life?

 

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668 Responses to “Craving for Sugar Daddies and Sugar Babies”

  1. cleo says:

    hmm no that’s okay, i’m going with skinny jeans and towering heels (he’s 6’5)

  2. ReachtheBeach SB. Aka Midwest SB says:

    New blog

  3. ReachtheBeach SB. Aka Midwest SB says:

    Need to get the name right!!

  4. Midwest SB says:

    Cleo – yay for date w cub! Would you like to borrow the “cougar red sweater and pumps” dubbed as such in Toronto”?

    Other runner up ideas: spa day, gift card…I’d better stop as this IS Guru’s contest 8)

  5. cleo says:

    midwest: oh god i’m a cougar!!! ROFL!!

    and i have a date with mr hot 32yo this evening… *insert cute and cheeky cougar sound here* (um i guess that’s kind of a yip? lol)

    i totally agree, lisa is adorable! and TLG is a shark

    maybe the other SD’s can vote and offer prizes to the runners up. you know, winner goes to cape town but second place here’s a ticket to nyc to hang with nycsb lol (or whatever you know what i mean)

  6. Midwest SB says:

    Loving the new looks, names, avatars! Its refreshing and very insightful…Cleos a cougar…Lisa is adorable…..MissMilan is quite elegant!!! Lots of fun!

    Guru -TLG brings up a good point..are you judge and jury? Perhaps the other SDs who want to play can sweeten the deal!!! :-)

    Good morning sugars!

  7. MissmilanDC says:

    ….Lunch with a pot on Tues or Wens…seems promising we’ve been in contact every day for 2 weeks.Almost thought he was a flake,then he called and invited me to lunch and said that he wanted to extend my xmas gift in person,and if I wasn’t able to make it he’s flexible enough to send for me or send my gift….sweet.Hope this one works out.

  8. cleo says:

    TLG i am certain when i say this that for some of us third place takes first…

    but i still want to go to cape town!

  9. Sara says:

    I am not superstitious….but I hate the blog posts ending at 666

  10. The Lone Gunman aka Large Floppy Bananawarmer says:

    Anna Molly

    Will there be a consolation prize for second and third place?

    Second place: An autographed Speedo picture of TLG.

    Third Place: TLG.

    TLG
    I can resist anything but temptation.

  11. Anna Molly says:

    Will there be a consolation prize for second and third place?

  12. The Lone Gunman aka Large Floppy Bananawarmer says:

    Testing for SDGuru follows:

    Bold

    Italics

    Strong

    TLG research department

  13. Lisa says:

    Better yet, what did she buy?

  14. Michael Alleycat says:

    So SD Guru – you are the judge & jury? And you get to have lunch with the winner? Anything else you get to have with the winner? :-)

  15. The Lone Gunman aka Large Floppy Bananawarmer says:

    SDGuru:

    Interesting contest. I’ll be interested in seeing the entries you get as well.

    TLGakaLFB

  16. Sara says:

    @ Moon Patrol – err….sorry didn’t realize how little that made sense until I sent it. I meant I felt bad that he would give me money for 20 minutes and coffee. I said I would wait until a real date.

  17. Sara says:

    @Moon Patrol – I’m sorry you felt taken advantage of. I know I have over thought abbout the SD and ultimately not gotten gift myself. I He wanted to give me something on a first meet, and I said it was unecessary (especially because it was 20 minutes at a Starbucks. lol). How did she get more than you anticipated giving?

  18. Anna Molly says:

    A contest! How interesting, I wouldn’t mind going somewhere warm for a while! 😀

    Guru ~ I’m sure you’ll have TONS of entries to look through….maybe we should be wishing you luck!!! 😉

  19. Lily says:

    Damn, I’m out of the running!!

  20. Moon Patrol says:

    I ended up spending the afternoon with an old SB and I forgot how expensive this can be. She kind of got more than I was suspecting. Its Christmas so I think it makes her more willing to get things from me. I am a little taken but I guess I need to say no when she comes on too strong. I am not like most SD’s and not like most men. SO I have personality quirks that make me vulnerable. I need my second personality to come out some time and get things straight.

  21. Lisa says:

    Thanks Sara

  22. NYC SB says:

    Guru – I made sure to drink tequila and yummy shots for both of us! A salsa partner would have been nice though … Enjoy your vacay

  23. carebear says:

    nothing. we’re all nuts, thats all.

  24. Sara says:

    What am I missing? with all these beach references. lol

    • SD Guru says:

      @Michael
      “I lived in Tokyo for a year, and my gf-at-the-time-later-to-become-my-wife taught me my favourite Japanese phrase “shitto-facedo” I kid you not.”

      In that case then you should be familiar with the onsen I’ve been enjoying to recover from such a condition. :)

      @NYC SB
      “Hi sugars! I’m back from mexico… Definitely miss it… Vacation withdrawal is in effect”

      Sorry I didn’t get a chance to say hi when I was south of the border. Looks like you need another vacation to recover from the vacation! 😛

      —————————

      To all who have expressed interest in the contest…

      When Yaz said “I wish someone would buy me a ticket to (name of destination) just because”… It got me thinking… why not?

      So let’s call it the “Name Your Destination” contest, and here are the rules.

      1. Female SB’s who are not currently in a sugar relationship are eligible to enter. (don’t want to step on any SD’s toes)
      2. Destination should be served by a major airline. (Timbuktu Air doesn’t count)
      3. Have a flexible travel schedule. (if you can only travel during major holidays then you might be out of luck)

      The winner will receive one round trip airline ticket to the destination of her choice with the travel schedule to be mutually agreed.

      How to enter:

      Email me at the addy in my blog. Include a photo of yourself and describe the following:

      1. Your current situation, your experience with sugar relationships, and why you’re looking for a SD.
      2. Why you have chosen the destination and what do you plan to do when you get there.
      3. Why I should choose your entry.

      What’s required if you win:

      – I will post your entry in the blog (edited to remove any personal info)
      – Write about your experience of the trip in the blog.
      – As a bonus, there is a possibility to meet me for lunch at a place and date to be determine.

      All entries must be submitted by December 31st, 2010 and a winner will be selected by January 7th, 2011. After I receive your entry I may contact you by email for clarification or request more information. Entries will be evaluated based on how compelling your story is, how original and creative your idea is, and how well you articulate yourself. It is not based on need or how sad your story is. The purpose of the photo is for me to put a face to the story, so the photo is not part of the evaluation.

      I hope there will be a good number of entries because it wouldn’t be much of a contest if only a handful of SB’s entered. Therefore I reserve the right to not select a winner if there are less than 10 entries. And no, this contest is not a joke. Email me or post here if you have any questions or comments. Good luck everyone!

      PS – With the nice new blog format, for some reason all the italics, bold, and space formatting don’t show up anymore. If my post is hard to read that’s why.

  25. Carebear says:

    Beachball booty!!!

  26. Third World SB says:

    Oooh. Beachtown. <3<3<3

  27. Sara says:

    Hope everyone else is having an equally relaxing Saturday

  28. Sara says:

    Alright – I figured since I comment so much on this…..ok it is getting borderline obnoxious, that I would start my own blog. I linked it to my name. I would love some sugar friends who are bloggers on there too. It is just for fun, so be kind dolls. 😉

  29. Sara says:

    @ Anna Molly – it is pouring here – I have been making a blog. I kept meaning to do it and got busy and confused with all the html mumbo jumbo. lol

  30. Anna Molly says:

    I’m being lazy today…anyone have anything exciting going on today?

  31. Sara says:

    @ Cleo- love the new avatar!

    @ Bloggers – it took me a while to find the hyper links for peoples websites with the new layout haha

  32. cleo says:

    i love the new avatars… i’mma gonna make one :)

  33. Sara says:

    @ Lisa – looking pretty adorable in the new pic/avatar

  34. cleo says:

    tanya some of us travel for first meets. it can be set up in a way to make you feel safe and i’m sure guru or someone can point to some great post midwest or someone wrote about how to do it… but basically make sure is prepaid, not cancellable and he has to send you incidental money or whatever and always have a backup plan.

  35. Arcadia SB says:

    Wow new blog, new avatars, new names…Now I don’t know who anyone is when I lurk and read. Been a busy/rough couple of days for me work wise. I know there are several students here, anyone else an artist? How on earth am I supposed to find time to make my work, work two jobs, and have an SD (well, ideally, things might be working out after Christmas)? Sorry just moaning a bit.
    I’m all for the Guru contest. However, I think all the sugars should win and we get a trip with guru to somewhere warm! Surely Guru won’t mind a dozen beautiful ladies on his arm 😉
    Hope everyone’s weekend is starting off right…I’m off to work again ::sigh::

  36. NYC SB says:

    Much needed break from life is officially over… No more sun and lounging around, room service, salsa … Vacation withdrawal is in effect

  37. Tanya says:

    Ok so I lied, I haven’t checked in every day. But I guess that means I am not a stalker! :) Ok maybe I am but you dont know that… On a less creepy note, I am looking forward to delving in to the sugar world single and un attached. The only limits I have are the ones set for my self rather than the ones my significant other sets. Was almost impossible to get anywere with her in the picture. I am still talking with 3 pot SD’s. Well 4 if you count a pot travel arrangement. For him I have explained that I will not travel to meet him. In a very polite yet no swaying my decision way. I have read so many entries on here that say that its best to just meet in your local are and real SD’s will understand and respect that. Just another part of the weeding process.

    I am excited for the holidays. What does everyone have planned for this week? Something fun and exhilirating I hope! I have a few dates with pot’s and fo course dinner and gifts with my ex wife’s family.

    Making plans to travel to vegas the beginning of the year. I have been working out intensely for the last 6 months to get into shape for a photo shoot. Man dropping from a 10 to a 4 is hard work. But I feel so much healthier and look it too. That reminds me I need to update my pictures on here.

    Ok enough of my random blabbing, I will leave that to my personal blog! Thanks for listening loves and Happy Holidays incase I don’t make it back before then…. stalker out! :)

  38. GenuineSD says:

    @Midwest.
    Should we address you as Midwest or ReachtheBeach ?

  39. Bela says:

    Muy bien, NYCSB!!

  40. Sara says:

    @ TLG – glad you took my vote for new moniker seriously. lol

    @ NYCSB- welcome back! How was it? Im insanely jealous.

  41. NYC SB says:

    Hi sugars! I’m back from mexico… Definitely miss it :)

  42. The Lone Gunman aka Large Floppy Bananwarmer says:

    Changed my avatar to something more apropriate.

    TLGakaLFB

  43. Nico says:

    crap….didn’t change…

  44. Nico says:

    Loving the new look of the blog….with the pictures a bit larger I changed my avatar too :) Have a fabulous weekend sugars!

  45. Sara says:

    @ Carebear- Great minds think alike!

  46. Sara says:

    @ Carebear – sent.

  47. carebear says:

    Sara, I need your email, re: your avatar.

    southernbellesb then the number one, then the at sign at the aol place with the dot com

    cha cha cha

    or a blog admin can delete my post and pass along whenever they have a spare minute =)

  48. Bela says:

    I saw that profile a while ago and thought the same thing. Obsessive much?

  49. cleo says:

    sara: actually first i was taken for “carbs” by one of those beautiful younger men and then i needed to do something for a few minutes while the world stopped spinning and after facebook/email it’s here of course…

    sometimes if i’m too tired to read i come catch up on the blog

    new avatar is much better.
    .
    ocsugarbaby no offence was implied or intended milady

  50. Sara says:

    @ MissmilanDC- I feel bad for whoever he winks at….or whoever Ashley R is

  51. MissmilanDC says:

    awkward**

    • OCSugarBaby ♥ says:

      Ok, sugars I am going to go play in the rain…
      MissmilanDC I think that posting someone’s profile number other than your own… well ya’ll know how I personally feel about doing that. Describe it to us instead! lol

  52. Sara says:

    @Midwest/Lisa – I changed it….I figured if all else fails…go with shoes. I guess I wanted the pic to be of me, but I wasn’t going to put my face…..and right below my face is….ahem. lol. But shoes always work too!

    @ Cleo – I know, I actually have a pot from the blog, but I dont LOOK for anyone on the blog……

    And yes, I like the name your drunk ass came up with! I also like that out of all the things to do when you are drunk, you decided to go to the blog….Personally I usually go for some taco bell and attempt a shower….. haha.

  53. MissmilanDC says:

    ….Can we say “Akward” ? #486288

  54. Lily says:

    Michael -yup!!

  55. cleo says:

    sara it’s amazing who is reading… and there have been a fair number of sd/sb blog hookups over the year i’ve been hanging around…

    you like the name my drunk ass came up with at four am?

    • OCSugarBaby ♥ says:

      Hi Lisa- what red dot? The one on the tab of the SA blog? This is just the page identifier, but our geekier techno blog’ers may have a better name for it.

      Hi Miss Cleo, those of us who have met other blog’ers and had “Arrangements” with them perfer that term to hook’d up. At least I prefer that term. lol

  56. Lisa says:

    Good morning

    I have to agree with Midwest, that pic sends the wrong message as it is going to attract alot of the wrong element, you will get lots of attention but not necessarily the right kind.

    What’s with the big red dot on the blog page ?

  57. Sara says:

    @ Midwest- it is a good thing I am not looking for guys on the blog…… not on purpose anyways.

  58. Midwest SB says:

    Morning sugars!

  59. Midwest SB says:

    Avatar- go to gravatar dot com, upload a pic and match it w your SA e-mail. If you use that e-mail for other things, the gravatar will show and could lead back to here, so be careful.

    Sara – this pic certainly shows your err assets, but im afraid it may attract the wrong type of guy.

  60. Sara says:

    Ok, changed my avatar – feeling better about this one….. Sorry I am done geeking out. lol

  61. Sara says:

    @ Bela – Perfect NYE shoes are always a good sign.

    @ Midwest – Thank you so much for helping with the avatar. I should probably reconsider my picture now that the avatars are HUGE. They used to be so tiny :(.

  62. TexaSugah says:

    Morning all. Pretty blog.

    All wise and infinitely sexy blog spirts… Help me with loading an avatar and smileys. Please!!!!!!!

    Thanks.

    • OCSugarBaby ♥ says:

      Good Sunny Week Before Christmas M-O-R-N-I-N-G to Everyone!!!
      No name change for me. I like mine 😉

      Beach Girl! xxoo

  63. Sara says:

    Good Morning dolls!

    @ Stephen/OC/Blog Gods and Godesses- LOVE the new look

    @ Hey Molly- welcome back!

    @ Beach_Girl – Welcome Back/Nice to meet you!

    @ The Lone Gunman- CLEARLY the obvious choice is “Large Floppy Banana Warmer”

    @ Hotstufftooldermen- New namei s much more appropriate than your last name. I dig. 😉

    @ Gemi – I still like my moniker! haha. I could come up with something clever, but really that was hard enough on my SA profile! haha. / Baking is a GREAT idea. Love it.

  64. cleo says:

    TLG: and i wonder if (for example) yaz really wants her face pic to be that big here…

  65. Bela says:

    Wow! Pretty new layout! I had a strange scenario not unlike the others. One man contacted me, we exchanged a couple emails and then we spoke on the phone for over two hours. He kept going on and on about how much he enjoyed my company. Now I barely hear from him. Who knows, maybe he was just bored. Perhaps, as others have said, the holiday season leaves him very occupied. At this point, I’m just looking forward to spending time with my family and friends. We trying to plan something fabulous in Nashville. Hopefully we make it happen 😉 I have perfect NYE shoes!

  66. cleo says:

    oh geeze gemi i’m sure not keepin g the name i came up with while shitto facedo!

  67. Anna Molly says:

    Hi Beach!!! I’m good! How are you darlin’?

    Hi Genuine 😀

  68. Gemi says:

    Hmmm I must be one of the few who actually likes her moniker here :)

    Trying to decide what to get my pots… I’m thinking baked goodies are the way to go. I do pastries very well (that is PASTRIES people not pasties) and men like yummy things right?? I’ve already promised the worlds biggest chocolate chip cookie to my gift daddy :)

    Yikes! Need to get started on my day! Have a great sugar weekend everyone!! (and this SHOULD be sugary right??? the weekend before christmas… when all the SDs, SBs and mistresses come out to play! :) )

  69. Michael Alleycat says:

    ‘night john-john

    I lived in Tokyo for a year, and my gf-at-the-time-later-to-become-my-wife taught me my favourite Japanese phrase “shitto-facedo” I kid you not.

    Which way is my bed? and is it my bed?

  70. The Lone Gunman says:

    @Alleycat:

    Pretty, yes…but it takes a long effing time to load in my browser. About 45 seconds this time around, for example. Haven’t tried my Iphone yet, but I cringe at what I expect.

    TLG/MM/TLS/LFB

  71. seriously what is it with me… the sd’s don’t want me but really hot, well off younger men? actually seem to

    colour me baffled as i take my drunk ass to bed (all i paid for was my first drink and the door… weird but awesome. i didn’t even get myself home, someone else took responsibility)

  72. Michael Alleycat says:

    ohhhh pretty new blog

  73. The Lone Gunman says:

    Geez…maybe I should change my name to something like:

    Mankini Man?
    The Lone Speedo?
    Large Floppy Bananawarmer?

    TLG

  74. Beach_Girl says:

    Hi Sugars, Hope everyone is well…. Nice change to the Blog….
    AM~ how are you girl? nice to see you back
    ReachtheBeach SB aka Midwest SB~ Love the new name!!!!
    Lily~ nice to have a spa day, can’t wait for my holiday rush to be over so I can relax… How have you been?
    OC~ hahhah good one… and yes, fair is fair!!!
    Guru~ Hi,
    Alleycat~ Hey…
    Moon Patrol, hi, haven’t seen you in a while!!!
    Enigma SD~ Not sure who you are… but HEY!
    Hi to everyone …. Haven’t been here in a while, but I will try and be here more after the holidays… Hope to catch up with the old crew and chat it up with the new!!! 😀

    So why are we all changing our names???
    Talk soon sugars!

  75. GenuineSD says:

    Hiya Molly! Welcome back !

  76. Anna Molly says:

    Did you start your sugar dating journey with any predetermined limitations or boundaries? If so, have you always adhered to them? Why or why not?
    I do have limitations when it comes to the amount of time I spend away from home.

    What aspect of sugar do you find most alluring if not addictive? Having the hottest dates ever? Enjoying the finer things in life? I enjoy every aspect of the sugar life 😉

  77. Anna Molly says:

    Wow!! The blog has changed!! I like it!!

    Hope everyone is having a nice evening :)

  78. Sara says:

    Crap! Now I don’t know who anyone is!

  79. ReachtheBeach SB aka Midwest SB says:

    Oooooooh I like the new look! Very nice!

  80. GenuineSD says:

    Wow !! Did I kick off this trend of moniker changes??
    @ReachtheBeach: What an awesome name and goal. I
    can’t wait to see pictures from the wardrobe change!
    @Enigma- A great choice of name also! I hope to chat with you soon.
    @SFCollegeBaby: Just remember that gift giving is a very personal thing: everybody does it differently. Some love to take their SB shopping to see the excitement of choosing… others love to surprise, enjoying the pleasure of thinking about the person as they pick the gift out. Some prefer the gift to be more permanent and long-term… like helping you achieve a dream or goal. Who’s to say which is the best way… it sounds like your happiness is important to him… that’s one of the greatest gifts you can receive… the genuine care and concern of another person for your happiness…revel in that, regardless of the form he chooses..

  81. Midwest SB says:

    Lily- is SF your protege?

    Spa day sounds perfect!

  82. Michael Alleycat says:

    Have a fun time tonight Lily?

  83. Lily says:

    SF is San Francisco!

    The Spa was heaven!!!!!!

  84. msdiiva says:

    @SFcollegebaby-what’s SF?
    And I think your sd should have asked what you want for Christmas but it’s also nice of him to out of his way to buy you multiple gifts:) who knows, he might surprise you with something huge

  85. Sara says:

    @ Alice – ooooh I am a parks junkie! I used to go ALOT in college (we got discounted passes). I am a total disney baby

    @ Reachthebeach- I have a feeling ALL your affirmations work.

    @ Enigma – nice to see you doll 😉

    @ SFCollegeBaby- I have had cheap SD’s, ones that vanish, ones that never work out. You are very lucky a man wants to spoil you so nicely. So you should be greatful and happy even if you don’t get a thing “for christmas”, However if your SD is the kind of many who likes to buy you gifts on a whim (which he seems to be) chances are he has already thought about it and has either gotten you something, wanted to surprise you or is counting all the small gifts you have been getting lately as holiday gifts.

  86. SFCollegeBaby says:

    @OC, ok will do right now! B/c I have been wearing sports bras for like 2 months now, just out of frustration. B/c at least the sports bras can be adjusted more due to the lack of actual defined cups. My bras always break or start to cut into my skin…sucks man. Thanks again though:)

  87. SFCollegeBaby says:

    @ReachtheBeach aka Midwest, alrite I hear you. Entitlement, ensmitlement, lol…last time I was here I heard the same. Maybe I do feel that I deserve certain things, but once again I go out of my way for him at times so I expect certain treatment. But I hear you, and I will take your advice into consideration. I will not hint at anything, BUT if I get a crappy gift from him, I’m sorry but I will be offended. I just won’t say anything to him though.

    Yea, I’ve read about some of the issues with finding sd’s here. Some of the ladies here should come to SF:) I have like 2 other ppl ready to start an arrangement with me, but I choose to stick with just one, as I kinda hinted to my sd that I would. I could be sneaky, but I’ll pass on that.

  88. SFCollegeBaby says:

    And about boobs, being a 34FF I have to say that I have considered a reduction. Big boobs make women look larger than they actually are, they jiggle out of control when working out, they can cause back problems, they are very heavy and they are an overall nuissance usually. I also have to special order all of my bras, which is costly, and frustrating. Either that, or find random stores that are usually far away to get bras. Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy mine are not TINY, but HUGE is not kool either for me.

    • OCSugarBaby ♥ says:

      @SFCollegeBaby – Ohhh, look up the bra line called Freya. Nordstroms carries them and you can find them onsale at many websites.
      They are BEAUTIFUL and uber Sexy. Specifically made for a small band size with a larger Cup. I think they go as small as a 30 band size. I am a 32 and the girls are locked/loaded and I don’t even feel that I have a bra on. Their color selection is amazing and funky. I could not buy too many as my sugrery was less than two months ago and my size will change. However, I am in Freya heaven!!!! Love them! Best fit you will ever find.

      Hi- (shoot can’t use your old blog name) … ahhh Enigma? Hello old friend :)

  89. ReachtheBeach SB aka Midwest SB says:

    SF – Relax and enjoy the sugar. You’re bordering on entitlement and it will show through to him. Once that comes into play, it becomes less fun for him. He’s obviously very good to you, so I would suggest making your gift very sentimental and be appreciative for his generosity.

    I have received wonderful Christmas gifts from sugar…I didn’t ask, hint, suggest or pout…it just came naturally.

    You should read about how some ladies here are struggling in their search occasionally and respect what you have. Congratulations!

  90. SFCollegeBaby says:

    Hey all,

    Isn’t it normal and expected for a sd to ask what his sb wants for Christmas? I kinda asked this a while back for my bday, but new holiday, a few months later, a stronger connection with my sd, and so I re-ask. And is it reasonable to expect something major from a sd for special holidays like Xmas? My sd hasn’t even asked me what I wanted, however he has bought me a ton of stuff but they were not established as Xmas gifts so what in the world is he waiting for??? I do not want a normal gift from my sd…that’s what parent’s are for. I want something big or many diff things from him. And yes, I am getting him something to and asked him what he wanted, but he hasn’t even done the same. Any thoughts?

  91. Enigma SD says:

    MilanDC — I believe they have implants, but I just started researching them. I will keep the blog updated :)

  92. ReachtheBeach SB aka Midwest SB says:

    Sara – As I live in breathe! It’s positive affirmation that my goals are right in front of me and totally attainable!

  93. Alice says:

    Sara – somewhere in Orlando I believe. Apparently they have tickets to one of the parks, crossing my fingers for Universal. I never got to go to any of them as a kid and I’m dying to see the new Potter one!

  94. Sara says:

    @ ReachtheBeach – Is this what I shall refer to you as from now on? lol

    @ Michael- Do tell, where did one get a pair of DD’s big and floppy? The SB/Girlfriend/Future wife? (just kidding about that last part)

  95. I have a pair of DDs, big and floppy …

    8=====>

  96. ReachtheBeach SB aka Midwest SB says:

    In the spirit of changing names from locations and telling the universe my wishes, I’m setting forth my proclamation to “Reach the Beach”! I’m trading in the parka for a bikini!

    MissMilanDC – Time to dust yourself off. You’ve had a few hard knocks lately, so say “enough” and do something to turn your karma around. Even going to a favorite watering hole and striking up a conversation with someone you will never see again can lift the spirits. Tell the retail clerk at Wal-Mart that she has pretty eyes…whatever it takes! Once your confidence returns, so will all the good karma! Hugs!

    Manly love muscles…love ’em in all shapes and sizes! They’re fun to play with! Had a strange discussion about what men eat….but I’ll digress 😎

  97. MissmilanDC says:

    @enigma, implant?? They have those?? I personally like them thick anywhere from smaller to larger as long as there’s a great width and stamina 😉

  98. Enigma SD says:

    and yes — I have a small perky one and I am very proud of it, but I am considering an implant 😉

  99. Enigma SD says:

    Hi OC — I am waiting impatiently for the female talk on male genitalia and all the other politically incorrect terms :)

  100. Sara says:

    @ MissMilan – I doubt it is something you are doing. Alot of the ladies on here feel like it is a dry spell.

  101. MissmilanDC says:

    …Well I recently went from a 34 B to 36 D.Found out I had a vitamin D deficiency and I was put on 50,000IU’s a week for 3 weeks and they grew…………so now I have boobs & ass-ets (lol that’s what my grandma calls em) althought I’d rather do w/o the boobs.I’m more of a coke bottle anyway…

    On another note,I’m excited for Christmas this year,family,fun and good health.Mom had a stroke on Thanksgiving but it was mild and she’s better now.So I’m just glad that everyone can be together.I plan on finding great SD by new year,I start the winter semester in January and I have no idea how I’m going to pay for it,but If I don’t go I’ll have to wait until 2012 to graduate which sucks considering I’m suppose to be finished next May.The DC scene is unusually dry,can’t seem to catch a break.It’s funny because the lowest of allowances would probably cover my whole semester,in total it’s only 2k…is it something I’m doing?

  102. Michael Alleycat says:

    Thanks OC

  103. MissmilanDC says:

    ….Heyyyyyy sugar fam (Hugs everyone)
    Finally back,had a terrible sinus infection,felt like my head would explode…:p feeling much better now.I always feel like I miss so much even if I go a day w/o the blog.No sugary news,very unfortunate.It’s weird because I always find great candidates,we either meet once or talk for quite some time then they disappear…..run of the mill “poof daddies”.I can’t seem to shake the flakes…….ergghhh! Recently,I went on a wonderful date with one then he told me had to go on a brief hiatus to “address conflict with his daughter”…I oblige and 3 days later ,he randomly tells me about a 3some fantasy he’s had (red flag) I politely declined and told him that we could discuss farther down the road when we get to know eachother…he replies saying ” it was just a fantasy and he’s still taking care of things with his daughter “then he dissapears. I’ve emailed twice just to say “hello” & “happy holidays”.I’ve gotten no reply,so I guess that ones out of the window….another randomly stopped communication,so I’ve given up on him also.I currently have one potential,we’ve spoken every day for the past 2 weeks.I don’t want to rush things so we’ve corresponded and gotten a feel for eachother via text email…not sure if he’s the one.
    ….Seems that it’s much harder to find sugar these days.I’d be on cloud 9 if I could bump into one great guy.It definitely makes it harder because I’m not settling and I actually want a genuine connection…It doesn’t have to be the works….so Idk,patiently waiting I guess :/

  104. Michael Alleycat says:

    Hi Stephan

    Can you please share my email address with FLSB? See her post December 16, 2010 at 3:55 pm

    Thanks mate

    • OCSugarBaby ♥ says:

      Michael, I have shared your email address with FLSB :)

    • OCSugarBaby ♥ says:

      When and if you are FEMALE and have *boobies* then your opinions of size, real or not and what is considered to be too much in your mouth is relevant (I agree on same premise about Male body parts). Hmmm turn the table and let’s see what happens when the Female’s talk about penis size shape and what is considered to be too much… Now that would be an interesting topic! I love it how men love to talk boobie size but not penis size. Fair is fair… But my point is that it is what makes each individual happy. Embrace what you are given or enhance it!

  105. Carebear says:

    Booooooobs.

  106. Sara says:

    @ Michael- I think the only PC word is anatomically correct “breasts” – tits, boobs, boobies, are just fun

  107. In Australia we call them tits

    Is boobs the more PC word?

  108. carebear says:

    Guru, I’m sure with proper advertisement you would have no problem getting together a decent run of contestants.

  109. carebear says:

    Boooooooooooooooooobs

  110. Sara says:

    @ Alice – I am saying it every night before I go to bed….”Boobies…Perky….” lol.

    p.s. where in Florida?

  111. Alice says:

    I think I’m going to change my profile headline to “Boobies……Perky…..” and see if that improves my responses.

    Looks like I’m off to FL for the holiday, my mom’s gifting my airfare and we’re staying on her friend’s time share, the most last minute trip ever. So I can still be broke and somewhat enjoy myself. :) And if one of my roommates pays me back the money she owes me, I can still afford my LA visit with friends for the New Year. College student travel on a budget–know people in lots of cities haha.

  112. Sara says:

    @ SD GURU- I am SOOO down for that contest! Oh, and I think boobies solve everything lol.

  113. Lisa says:

    Perhaps they were fish?

  114. Sara says:

    Sidenote….I have reached a new low. I have had the SECOND man in a 3 week span message me, saying they are looking for a woman specifically for underwater sex only. What is going on? lol

  115. Lisa says:

    Thanks Midwest, i’d send you some warm weather and sunshine but it’s 56 here and gloomy.

  116. Sara says:

    @ Carebear – the topic is Boobs and Books – that is soooo telling of our little sugar family haha.

    I make it to Tampa sometimes. It is all a matter of timing. lol.

    @ Midwest- Boobies…..Perky……

  117. Sara says:

    @ Moon Patrol – Huxley wrote Brave New World as a “modern utopia” post WWI – he wrote the book assuming there would be no WWII, so when that happened he received a lot of criticism and wrote “Of Ape and Essance” which was basically his response to a post WWII society. It was really fascinating how he looked at it. He also came from a long line of respected scientists, so it has been said that he wrote his novels very “coldy” and scientific… which a lot of people found impersonal and therefore did not connect to his writing.

    ok….I’m done being a nerd for the day. lol

  118. Midwest SB says:

    Moon Patrol & Carebear- Awwww (((hugs)))

    Lisa – Done – I’m spreading the love today!

    Cleo – I think it’s one of them. He was rather cryptic, but pay attention to his post here and you’ll pick it up.

    Booobies….perky…

    IQ is not related to boobie preference. I’ve enjoyed the company of some uber smart men!

  119. Moon Patrol says:

    Aldous Huxley had something against “The Man” is all I can recall about that book’s theme.
    Without “the Man” we are a bunch of tribes fighting and stealing from each other.

    Midwest – even when you get weird you’re still cool and smart.

  120. carebear says:

    Love that the topic is still boobs.

    In light of boobs, I remember reading in Men’s Health that men attracted to larger breasts have smaller IQ’s, and vice versa. Personally, that means I attract idiots….which is 100% true.

    Sara I know!! Come closer to tampa =( maybe in the future I can make a certain pot ship me to ftl instead. Hmmmm.

    Snaps to midwest….

    SUPER jealous that SOMEONE is having lunch with MY WIFE! Grrrrr…..

    • SD Guru says:

      @Sara
      SD Guru- a nice tit pic is all it takes to get you flustered? good to know.

      I don’t get flustered. But I do welcome a nice tit pic anytime!! 😉

      @Midwest- I had no idea how powerful your boobies were.

      Oh, you have no idea… 😛

      @TorontoBlondie
      I have over 1000 volunteer hours…

      1000+ hours of volunteer work is very admirable. It’s about 20 hours each week, which for most people is more than a part time job. How do you find time for school and SD’s? As for charities, we all have the freedom to choose how we spend our time and money, it’s a personal choice and the same applies to which charities we choose.

      @Cleo, Carebear, Lily, Yaz

      If we can get a few more SB’s interested, I can be persuaded to make it a real contest. But first I’ll have to come up with some rules. You don’t think a simple paragraph will get you a free ticket across the world, do you? :)

      ———————–

      Checklist before going on vacation…

      – Finish Christmas shopping. Check.
      – Send out Christmas cards. Check.
      – Delegate everything at work. Check.
      – Hand out bonuses to “good” SB’s. Check.

      Sun, sand, and snow, here I come!! :mrgreen:

  121. Sara says:

    @Moon Patrol – I don;t know why but in high school brave new world was like revolutionary for me.

    @Midwest- good advice, I am defiantly going to consider my actions more seriously.

    @Cleo- I don;t think that many SD’s are looking right now. We forget that they have lives (especially if they are married or have children) that get occupied during the holidays.I imagine there is a SD dry spell around April 15th too. lol

    @ Midwest- Congrats on the opportunity. and I love your mantra!

    All together now: Boobies…Perky……

  122. Lisa says:

    Midwest please give “fantastic opportunity” my home address, lol

  123. Moon Patrol says:

    After reading recent posts here are my observations

    Never underestimate the power of the boob. I saw one girl from work showing a lot of cleavage at a Christmas party and it was the start of a six month relationship.

    AS for drinking at company parties – wait till you get there and decide unless your an alcoholic.

    I read Brave New World and never revisited it because it was sick. Self-torture, murder, just stupid stupid. Kind of like the sick cult in The DaVinci Code. I did like the helicopters though.

    As for Christmas time, I get more lonely than usual and reach out to women that I normally would not. I don’t have a SB right now but an old one has been calling me and I don’t think I can get involved again.

  124. Midwest SB says:

    Sara/Bela – On the note of teachers and accountability…I have dreaded flashbacks about a teacher who was fired when a video of her in a wet t-shirt contest while on vacation was revealed. I would hate to see that happen in the sugar world, so use some discretion when discussing locations, occupations, etc. I’m guilty of it myself and wish I had been more careful.

    Ladies – we need a mantra to summon new SDs…Boobies…Perky…

    Ah hahahahaha…I crack myself up. Weird mood today :-)

  125. Lisa says:

    Midwest please give “fantastic opportunity” my home address, lol

  126. Bela says:

    :( yes ma’am :(

  127. Midwest SB says:

    Yay! Fantastic opportunity is coming!!!!!

  128. cleo says:

    bela: ONE glass of wine that lasts the whole meal… ONE

  129. cleo says:

    sara: i don’t even have half an sd… and it just sounds so nice and i know know know i’d be a fantastic sb. ah well, maybe i’m fooling myself :)
    .
    midwest: boobies draw out a lot of SDs, heck even some from the woodwork. i can think of ncgent, sdn, hmm guru… sure there’s a couple more since that’s off the top of my head

  130. Sara says:

    @Bela- Sounds like a good plan. I am a debate coach so I deal with faculty and parents like a normal teacher PLUS I deal with parents on a whole other level. The parents judge at tournements so I meet about 10 parents a weekend, plus I am responsible for their kids outside of school, at tournaments and travel tournaments (like we are going to the Harvard debate tournament in February). If they even thought I had a boyfriend I know I would get some interesting looks….. lol.

  131. Bela says:

    Sara – Unfortunately, you’re not being paranoid. We do hold teachers to an unrealistic level. Luckily I’m not bringing a date or anything. While most of the people I work with are older and more settled, they are very open-minded. Even with that there is a group of “youngsters” who are between the ages of 25 – 35 so I don’t ever feel singled out. That said, I’ll behave myself and just be rewarded later 😉

  132. Sara says:

    @Midwest- I had no idea how powerful your boobies were. 😉

    @Carebear- Not Tampa, but Fort Lauderdale area…..

    @Bela- I am nervouse to let people at my job even view me as a person who dates, drinks or goes out. lol. But I work at a school, so I feel like I am held to an unrealistic level of what they consider morality.

  133. Sara says:

    @ Lily- A. Congrats on the new client. Sounds awesome. B. So jealous of the SPA!!!

    P.S. I totally loved Brave New World over 1984 – It was so much more glamours 😉 lol

  134. Sara says:

    @Midwest/Third World – I like to donate my time more than money. I love working with Habitat for Humanity. I started doing it in college and I absolutely love that I can help to physically build a home that a family we meet will live in. It is so rewarding. Plus it is realistic. There is little to no overhead, because the family still pays for the home, their mortgage is just extremely cheap because it only covers the cost of the materials and the work is done by volunteers and plumbers, electriticians, etc. who donate their services. It is really rewardig to meet the people that will live there.

    Plus I never in a million years thought I would like building…but I can rock a nail gun like nobody’s bussiness!

  135. Sara says:

    @Cleo – I want a legit SD too! :( I don’t want several halves of a SD to equate to one real SD. We should go hunting together 😉 lol

  136. Bela says:

    yeah I know. The responsible side of me was saying that from the beginning. Luckily, we don’t return to work after the luncheon so I can visit my favorite watering hole and have a beverage then :)

  137. GenuineSD says:

    Bela: I would concur with others here… alcohol at company functions is more trouble than it’s worth. Better to err on the side of caution…

  138. Lisa says:

    good morning everyone

    ThirdworldSd sorry I offended you but as an American citizen I grew up with the right to have my views and values and I don’t feel it necessary to be loved by everyone, i’m not a robut. I just believe charities have a right to focus on who they want to help. there are many organizations out there that serve a specific group of people. There is an organization in my state that helps Hispanic business people (I doubt they’d help me if I applied) we have the UNCF which I doubt would help my daughter, and we have programs aimed at drug and alchol abuse that I doubt would help me with my cafeine problem.
    The Salavation army collects gifts and clothing for needy chidren every year as well as providing couseling to persons with adition problems. Why look down on a charity that is helping someone?

    ok gotta get out of bed now

  139. Midwest SB says:

    Bela – I would err on the side of caution personally. These days tolerance is at a minimum and jobs are at a premium these days. Something that is out of your control could happen while returning to work and alcohol becomes a contributing factor.

  140. Midwest SB says:

    Silly ladies – Enigma was drawn out by Boobies! Thought you would catch on!
    ( Y )

    ThirdWorld – You bring up valid points…It’s good to know you can get your research done in just a few clicks and go from there. St. Jude’s numbers will look vastly different from your local food pantry.

  141. carebear says:

    Friends,

    Do I have an sugar siblings in Tampa??

    <3 C

  142. cleo says:

    lily: i am toooooooooooooooooo
    .
    bela; :)

  143. Enigma SD says:

    Bela — are you returning to work afterwards? I would take the signal from others — if someone else orders… then one glass of wine is fine…. safest bet is no alcohol though.

  144. Bela says:

    While I’m thinking about it, I need professional advice. Our company’s Christmas thing is a luncheon at an Italian restaurant. While I’m in no way thinking about rehashing my college days of binge drinking, I wondered about one thing: glass of wine with lunch. Yes or no?

  145. Bela says:

    Lily – Wasn’t that the catepillar?

  146. Enigma SD says:

    Lily — you have mail on your account listed on MSW :)

  147. Lily says:

    Enigma, whoooo aaaaaare youuuuuu (in best Cheshire cat voice)? I’m curious as a kitty.

    :) blog-gods can send you my email & if you feel generous, drop me a line which would put an end to my curiosity-misery.

  148. Bela says:

    Cecile – I’m in the same boat as you. There are two pots but due to the holidays, first meetings will have to wait until January. No worries, it gives me something to look forward to 

    Michael – Being a slight commitment-phobe, I’d naturally freak out. I admire your ability to see how things go. You are aware of the possible flags but you’re giving her a chance and not jumping to conclusions. Good on ya’ 😉

    Carebear – I personally enjoyed the 1984 reference  I love Big Brother

    Cleo – Agreed, dammit!

  149. Enigma SD says:

    Hello all — I am changing my nick also so my location isn’t known quite as well. Have to say I was shocked to see the site was posting ISP locations of bloggers — glad to see that gone :)

    Haven’t posted much — had some personal things to deal with. Happy to say that I had a second date with my SB, and it was spectacular… maybe not as spectacular as Midwest’s boobies though…. that is one of my favorite lines ever from Seineld also…

    Regarding breastesses…. I love them all, but prefer real to fake anytime, but I completely understand there are situations were breast augmentations might boost one’s self esteem. Also, Bs or Cs are my favorites, but again – I like them all — you drew me out Midwest :)

    anyways, won’t comment on the charity thing — it is a personal choice.

    Great to see many of the bloggers from the past, and always great to have new people posting.

  150. Lily says:

    Anyone else have fabulously sugary plans this weekend??

    I love how generous sugars are at the holidays. I want this feeling to last forever!

  151. @Midwest

    Perhaps we have vastly different experiences with large NGO’s. Most NGO’s I know of ten to spend almost ten percent of their budget just on financial management/HR services, and this does not include the salaries of any direct service workers, administrators, advertising, fundraisers, etc. It is true that many are grant-funded though, and may have a policy of using donated funds expressly to benefit their clients, but this varies from organization to organization though.

    Your advice about supporting causes you are passionate about is totally spot on though! I agree!

    @ Carebear @ TLG

    god I love that book…

  152. Lily says:

    Still have butterflies in my tummy about the Christmas trip to Rome w/ my mom! Gush gush gush…. Who is a lucky girl?? Me is a lucky girl! *happy dance*

    Spreading the love and taking my gal pal to a decadent spa this evening. They serve wine to you while you soak in mineral baths….!!! Steam rooms, saunas, spa treatments….

    I know how to steam (ha! Pun!) things up indoors when it’s freezing outdoors!!

    Btw, scored a lucrative new client. Loving it. Yay for making your own schedule & your own €€€€!!

    Sugary kisses to all!!!!!

  153. Midwest SB says:

    Also many foundations and corporations will not contribute to your cause if you discriminate. That said, there are many organizations who only support one race, one gender or affiliation…not political, but trying to focus on what is important to the person who organized the charity. Shouldn’t you be able to decide where you want to expend your energy?

  154. The Lone Gunman says:

    Carebear says:

    And before anyone tries to call me out on the 1984 comment it was a JOKE.

    Wait…you mean we aren’t at war with Eastasia?

    That we haven’t always been at war with Eastasia??

    Humph. NEXT you’ll try and tell me that you can turn the TV off

    TLG

  155. Midwest SB says:

    ThirdWorld – I have to respectfully disagree about how large donations become invested in overhead. If you want to know how a charity spends their money, look at their financial reports online. Any 501(c)3 organization has to provide that information to the public. The general rule is to keep overhead to below 10%. In addition, some foundations start with an endowment to cover certain overhead costs, so that is deducted from the overall expenses.

    Support what you are passionate about. Instead of throwing a dollar here or a dollar there, do something that has an impact and is meaningful to you. If you suffered abuse as a child, volunteer at a shelter…teach battered women how to manage their finances or self-defense. If you have a family member that passed from cancer, organize or participate in an event that is seeking a cure for that cancer. If you love children, volunteer to spend time playing with young patients who get restless while healing. Make it personal, be creative and know that the sky is the limit!

    Good morning sugars!

  156. @Sara

    Haha, thanks. They always told me I should be a lawyer, but for some reason I was never really interested.

    @Lisa

    Hey, I agree with the folks who said politics is not a good blog topic, but what you’ve said is borderline (actually, in my opinion, blatantly) homophobic. Being gay is not a “lifestyle;” it is an identity and an unchangeable condition of who one is. We have lots of readers/members of this blog who are gay & bisexual, and I really don’t think we should be expressing homophobic sentiments on this blog. It’s not a matter of opinion on a political issue, it’s a matter of discrimination against some of our fellow bloggers! Since this site does specifically choose to cater to gay men and lesbians, and thus such folks are likely to be members of this blog community, please try to be careful about how you express your opinions. What you said would be extremely upsetting and definitely alienating to most gay people reading along.

    We can’t keep from offending everyone all the time, but racist and homophobic remarks are probably not constructive ways to support each other!

    On the topic of donating to charity, the more donations an organization receives, the bigger its capacity grows as an organization, which means they hire more staff, acquire more overhead, and usually spend a larger percentage of their budget on the internal needs of the organization. Donating to large/established organizations thus seems a bit redundant to me, as often a large portion of the money goes to supporting the organization itself rather than families directly. (Example, the American Red Cross.) I try to either donate to people in need directly, or donate to small community organizations whose directors I know personally, where I know 100% (or 95%, etc.) of the money I donate will actually help people in need, and not pay someone’s six figure salary. But that’s just me. I am also able to do this pretty easily only because I am involved in the NGO sector and am readily knowledgeable about individuals & small organizations who I can donate to. I imagine if you are not involved in the NGO sector, it is a lot easier to just donate to whoever asks for money.

    I don’t think its *bad* to donate to an organization who doesn’t choose to help everyone… there are lots of organizations who only help white people (although usually not as a policy, just as a result of how they’ve targeted their outreach) or who only help adults, or who only help women. It is good to know where the money you are donating is going and who the organization you are donating to is/is not serving though. Awareness is key. If you feel indifferent about what’s actually happening to your money and just feel good about donating for the sake of donating, though, then do whatever works for ya. I feel like a lot of people don’t know that the Salvation Army only helps Christians and discriminates against gay people though.

  157. cleo says:

    sara: and not so much if you have a lot of pots but none of them really seem to want a lid

    i want an SD dammit. one that lasts for more than a trial month and actually wants one of these traditional sd/sb arrangements. dammit.

    as for the baking ..hmm nice perspective. my sister cried because i made her one kind all special like

  158. Sara says:

    @ Cleo- people LOVE when I bake too. I think it is because they can technically buy themselves whatever you were going to get them, but they can’t necessarilly bake delicious things.

    @ Cecile – I am sort of in limbo too…..I think it has to do with the holidays. Holidays are a great time of year if you are already in an arrangement, not so much if you are looking.

    @ Alleycat- the only thing that makes e uncomfortable about how your arrangement becamse rich boyfriend was that you said SHE did it. The fact that she took charge and changed it seems slightly manipultive. It could be a good thing, its just the way it happened that seems off to me.

  159. @Carebear – it would be fun trying, I’m sure….

  160. @Moonie – I’m not against her wanting a traditional relationship, it could be fun. She is waaaay cute, funny and scary smart, knows where she wants to go in her career etc.

    The point is that she is trying to flip it from an arrangement to a relationship in less than a week, and after I laid out the ground rules and she agreed to them.

  161. carebear says:

    Michael……make me! =x

  162. @TorontoBlondie – I think it is SO cool that you have done 1000+ hours of volunteer work. The only reason most people do volunteer work in this country is if it is court-mandated.

    What am I doing? This year I funded a scholarship program at my daughters private Montessori school. It provides a 3 year scholarship for 4 kids in middle school. Requirements are that they have to be financially needy, and be passionate about “pursue a particular cause that will have a significant and positive impact on themselves, their families, their communities and the world in general, for their lifetime and beyond.

    Got a new personal trainer, starting tomorrow. He is going to wipe the floor with me, I am sure.

    @FLSB – can you email me directly through my profile? I’ll try and find you tomorrow. Can’t wait to hear the update!.

    @Carebear – behave…

    @Sara – it sounds low maintenance, but the point is this has flipped from an arrangement to being a rich boyfriend in less than a week. She’s not playing me, just kinda flipped it all around. Treading slowly and carefully. Oh well, at least she has nice boobs.

  163. Cecile says:

    -Well said, Cleo. Times are still a changin’.

    @Sarah-Thanks babe! Things are moving along, although I’m sort of in a holding pattern, waiting to meet the one pot that I’m really interested in. He lives in London, and with our mismatched holiday schedules, we might have to wait until the New Year to meet. But I spoke to him on the phone the other night, and he seems great. Really funny, clever and easy to talk to. We’ll see!

    -I have to agree with torontoblondie on the charity issue. The Salvation Army does do nice things for some people, but I don’t feel comfortable giving to a charity that turns up their noses at people based on sexual preferences. I’m not going to picket them or anything, but I’d rather donate to a slightly less judgmental cause. I’m agnostic, but I find it hypocritical that a Christian organization is picking and choosing despite the “Love thy neighbor” commandment.

  164. cleo says:

    Alice: i baked last year and got way more appreciation than my presents ever get… so i’m baking again and glad of it since i’m making less money than i was last year and yet somehow my prospects are improving.
    .
    guru: i’d like a ticket to meet lily… really a lot… or a ticket to cape town to see my friend a and another country i’ve always wanted to visit. how’s that? no good reason, just random. also it’s warm in SA and cold here *grin*

    and i saw a few other posts and not just mine…
    .
    i don’t understand the gay lifestyle. i know gay naturopaths and lawyers and doctors and strippers and flamboyant ones and truck driving ones and fat ones and thin ones. mostly they just want to be treated like everyone else…. oh yeah and some of them want to be allowed to get married. i don’t get how you oppose who someone is; but then, i had lunch with a brown man today who commented that he wouldn’t have been allowed in the restaurant we were in just sixty years ago.

    this educated, well dressed, articulate, funny, well off, polite and attractive man wouldn’t have been allowed in a restaurant because he wasn’t white. in my parents lifetime this was true. gay people are just that, people.

  165. Stormcat says:

    Oh Alleycat . . . I’m sooo proud of you!!!!! But be careful the grasshopper is showing!

  166. Sara says:

    @ FLSB- I hear we should be friends 😉

  167. Sara says:

    Hey everyone! I am apologizing in advance for the VERY delayed response….just spent my evening catching up with the blog!

    @Texas – He sounds like a guy who’s interested in more than just a roll in the hay. He was impressed by what you had to say, site unseen.
    He really is a sweetheart.

    @ Bi Baby – Got a 90 and an 88
    Congrats! I am still waiting for my grad school scores.

    @Lisa/WSCD – I prefer married because it is less compicated, but singls SD’s sometimes just have “peter pan syndrome” – they don’t want to grow up, and that’s fine with me.

    @ BG- a meet in Florida is sounding better and better

    @ Michael – I think it is awesome that your sugar life and IRL could coexist so seamlessly. It sounds very low maintenance.

    @ Cecile – How is the sugar search going doll? Can’t e too hard, you are gorgeous.

    @ Third World – I love your thought processes! I don’t know why, but everything you say always makes so much sense. haha

    @ SD Guru- a nice tit pic is all it takes to get you flustered? good to know. 😉

    @ Shay – Congratulations Darling!

  168. Lisa says:

    The Salvation Army is a wonderful charity. They put up an “angel tree” every year at the mall with names of children and their wishlists. I”m sure there are plenty of charity organizations for gays as the Salvation army is a christian charity that does not support the gay lifestyle.

    Glad to hear your date went well TexaSugah. Nothing going on here, lots of views but nothing of substance and the ax is hanging over my head at work. I’ve got 5 more sessions to be “cured” I may need the salvation army myself soon.

    Good night everyone

  169. TexaSugah says:

    Lisa and Midwest… Thanks. Saw him tonight for dinner. Iwent to the bathroom and left my purse, which he scolded me about.

    When I got home I looked inside for something and saw a note that said ” lunch money”. It was $100. He knew I was going to a luncheon tomorrow. That’s sweet. At this place it’ll be about that much. Not sure when we get into the full blown arrangement. I guess when we chat for lunch next week.

    *eerie music* she’s watching you michael. That is odd but you might be giving off the vibe.

    Speaking of watching
    …….ok. Another guy contacted me on sugardaddie. His add was much like midtown. Seeking a friend. Ok. So I wrote him back. In my mail I told him I would like to meet him and that I was looking for blah blah. I mentioned that I met one person from the site and that I was being transparent, he brought up something like that in his ad. I’m just wondering if it’s midtown spying on me because they live in the same area of town.

    Newest pot read my letter and didn’t write back.

    Geez.. When do you have to stop looking around. How many pits in the pipeline are enough?

  170. Midwest SB says:

    Care bear- giving blood and/or platelets can save many lives. Donating bone marrow can help people w cancer….no price can be placed on that. Kudos dear!

    FLSB- yay! Good to see you again! Introduce yourself to Sara!

    Just got back from Miracle on 34th w my now energetic child who CANNOT wait until Christmas! Oh to be young And young at heart. “always keep your childhood innocence…it’s the most important thing”…Under the Tuscan Sun

    Goodnight sugars!

  171. Carebear says:

    Like I said I give to everyone that asks. As soon as I start discriminating whom I give to, I will be Less ethical just as your suppose salvation army. And if you paid attention to my post, you would see that I don’t seek anyone to give to, only give when it’s plainly out in front of me.

    Bashing charities to make a point is sort of unethical, and meanwhile, politics are not a good blog topic in sugar world.

    And before anyone tries to call me out on the 1984 comment it was a JOKE.

    God forbid I ever make a non-sarcastic comment ever again.

    Happy holidays y’all!

  172. torontoblondie says:

    @ carebear, if I were you I wouldn’t donate to the Salvation Army, they are against the gay community and choose directly who to help out (usually those that are also christian) – this is completely unethical as everything they earn is from donations, therefor they have no choice but to help out all of those in need. There are a lot more organizations that could put your money to better use.

  173. Yaz says:

    Guru~ That would be a great idea :)

  174. Carebear says:

    My rule with charity is if someone asks or you see someone asking, give. Happens a lot around Christmas time.

    I don’t have much to spare at this point in my life, but something as simple as signing up to give blood at work or the salvation army people standing outside target, or even the street bums (which now I believe it’s illegal to give them money in most cities)….. always give something….anything. If I were ever in a position where I needed to “ask” for help I would hope people would do the same.

  175. Gemi says:

    If I could hand out money all day long to needy people around Christmas I would… kind of like that Secret Santa II I read about who so far has given away $40k to people on the street, in Goodwills, etc. I mean, man, if you had that kind of money that you could just GIVE AWAY and HELP, seriously HELP, people out with…. what a feeling. Some day, some day.

    And that is my drunk thought of the day. :)

    • SD Guru says:

      @Michael
      SD Guru – oh, never mind… At least there is no drama.

      That’s what happens when you have a “soft” boundary and willing to mix your personal and sugar life. It sends mixed messages to your SB so she will want a relationship sooner or later anyway. And don’t worry, drama is next but I’m sure you can handle it!! 😛

      Maybe I should figure out where I’m going to have that beer and steak dinner now… 😆

      @Cleo
      is that maybe i can or yes i will?

      Depends, not sure if there are that many people interested?

      ————————–

      I finally ran out of whipped cream, so off to my holiday vacation… Happy holidays and I wish everyone a prosperous and drama free 2011!!

  176. FLSB says:

    Hi Sugars! been a while, hope everyone is well!

    Michael: I can’t get into my old email…Come Find me (my profile) please…I have lots to share, promise you’ll be entertained :)

  177. Moon Patrol says:

    Alleycat — Unless your #1 can read your mind, I’d say she is fast forwarding into a future that may not be the same as things are now. I’m just curious, are you happy about her wanting a traditional relationship?

    Its getting dark outside. Does anyone know if the sun goes higher in the sky in South America during the winter? I get all these shadows and the sun gets in my eyes a lot during the winter. Maybe the birds fly south for a reason.

  178. Michael Alleycat says:

    So I said “well, like everybody, I’m at my best in a relationship” blah blah sidestep blah Then “umm last Friday when we met, we talked about this, we agreed this is not relationship, no drama, no aggravation, lets just go have a good time, get together 3-4 times / month and you had agreed to that. Why the change of heart” I asked?

    And she says “well, I didn’t expect to at all, but I really like you and I think it would be really great to start something.” Well, this is going to be interesting. Sheesh. Whoever said sugar dating was easy? I even laid it all out and she agreed to it.

    At least there is no drama. Several thousand bonus points there.

  179. Bela says:

    amen Midwest!

  180. Midwest SB says:

    Michael- I see a book and a Lifetime movie deal in your future!

  181. Carebear says:

    Midwest-gladly….sitting on the couch nibbling on some garretts as we speak!

  182. Bela says:

    Well Alleycat, only you can truly say how honesty will hurt or help you in that situation. What did you say?

  183. Michael Alleycat says:

    Ok so date #4 with my new #1, and she tells me she is looking for a relationship and she thinks I am too. I’m like wtf? has she been reading the blog or something?

    @SD Guru – oh, never mind…

  184. Midwest SB says:

    Carebear- come to the Midwest as we are significantly behind the curve and implants will not happen u til after marijuana is legalized :-)

  185. Carebear says:

    It’s 1984 and moon patrol aka the thought police has come to take your soul.

    US’s Christmas gift to us all is that we’re being embedded with chips in Jan so we can ping each other with our smart phones.

    Ok Ill stop.

  186. Moon Patrol says:

    Jogged around Memorial Park today. One woman was walking with her dog real fast-like and I don’t remember if I ever passed her. I can jog pretty slow. One thing I notice is there are a lot of in-shape bodies on the trail. It would be nice if they had brief number codes on their shirts and you could write the ones you liked.

  187. Bela says:

    Midwest – It absolutely counts!

  188. Midwest SB says:

    Texassugah -both!

    Typing on the iPad takes some getting used to!

  189. Midwest SB says:

    Good morning sugars! I know it’s pm, but I had the lovely pleasure of sleeping in!

    ( – )( – ) mine are real and they’re spectacular!!! Love that line. Keep saying it to yourself u til you love them as much as he does! Where’s NC Gent? He usually comes running!

    LKO – uh oh RUN!!!

    GenuineSD- the new name is awesome and serves you well!

    Texassugah- boyhood dear, but very passionate about school.

    SoNJsb – you’re welcome. It takes a while! But certainly worth the effort.

    Toblondie- congrats…looks like things made a turn for you.

    I helped my brother out of a tight situation and volunteer all year round.
    Does mentoring in sugar count? :-)

  190. Alice says:

    Hard at work on my holiday cards, I usually make cookies or brownies to send with them for my friends. I wish I could do more for some of them, as they’ve been wonderful humans to me this year, but times are still a bit rough. Those are the people I’ll remember first when I do have enough to spread around. :)

    @ Moon – as I said before, the link is in my name…

  191. Torontoblondie says:

    about the whole helping people out stuff…

    I know Christmas is usually seen as the time of giving, but I never stop, I have over 1000 volunteer hours, and help all of my friends/sister out (as the money I make from this is WAY larger then minimum wage – so this allows me to be generous) (I don’t just donate my money, I make weekly meals and do street patrol where I hand it out to the homeless – I’ve started this when I was around 12 with my church)

    on a side note:
    a sugar daddy of mine that is always really busy has agreed to let me start seeing his friend (5 000 a month of allowance and Ill see where that takes me :) )

  192. Bela says:

    lol @ Carebear

    Gemi – It is so funny that you said that because I’m doing the same thing for my girlfriend. She’s married and has two young kids (one is her step-daughter) and they’ve been going through some stuff. Her husband lost his job and both kids got sick for a little while AND they had a care accident that totalled the car which was practicallly brand new. I know anything I do won’t fix everything, but to help, I got her a prepaid card with some money and a few toys for the kids. I just figured that she’s done so much for me and just because her husband’s an idiot and stubborn (he actually turned DOWN job offers) doesn’t mean she has to suffer so much. It felt good even if it meant that I won’t be able to do some of the things I wanted to do. I’m glad I’m not alone in this :)

  193. Carebear says:

    Gemi- the song was stuck in my head from he first time I said it. I apologize for dragging everyone else into it.

    Very admirable indeed! We should all follow her lead!

  194. GenuineSD says:

    Good morning all
    @Carebear… Now I’ve got that song in my head and images of you running through the streets !

    @Gemi… What an awesome spirit… Inspiring… thanks

  195. The Lone Gunman says:

    Gemi, that’s pretty admirable IMO–instead of concentrating solely on how good you have it, attempting to brighten someone else’s life who has hit a rough patch.

    Using your example, I think I will do the same. Thank you.

    TLG

  196. Gemi says:

    carebear – please stop with the boots with the fur. getting awful songs stuck in people’s heads isn’t a very nice thing to do.

    😉

    99 bottles of sugar on the wall, 99 bottles of sugaaaar. take one down, pass it around, 98 bottles of sugar on the wall….

    its the season of giving, and in this season of giving, i’ve decided to become a sugar gift momma to a very hardworking but hard up friend of mine who I know will be wow-ed and appreciative of a nice gift of cash. Anyone else spreading the sugar a bit?

  197. Carebear says:

    @guru: I will run through the streets of NYC in Miami beach gear for a ticket to Dubai so I can prance around the city in Miami beach gear with a big red target on my forehead.

    =)

  198. Lily says:

    I want a ticket to go to Australia because….. then I could spy on TLG in his Man-kini from some hidden vantage point, and make catcalls and whistles and take photos and die a happy woman. 😉

  199. SoNJSugar says:

    @MidwestSB: Thanks! Will do that now.

  200. cleo says:

    is that maybe i can or yes i will?

  201. Carebear says:

    Just think of the boots with the fur….

    • SD Guru says:

      We’re still talking about boobs??

      @LKO
      can someone explain M&M’s and lemon tips?
      @Dandelion Wine
      What’s a beachball bootie ?

      According to the urban dictionary:

      M&M’s = Slang for nipples.
      Lemon tips = When a woman’s nipples are so tiny they look like pursed lips from a lemon.
      Beach ball bootie = A large, bouncy buttox that is somewhat like a beach ball.

      @Stormcat
      If you got the offer to lick cream dollops off a friendly set of D’s I think you might have a hard time declining.

      That’s only one of many uses of whipped cream on a woman’s body… :mrgreen:
      By the way, is there such a thing as an unfriendly set of D’s? 😆

      @Yaz
      I wish someone would buy me a ticket to Shanghai just because….lol

      Here’s an idea… Maybe I can sponsor a contest where the contestants write down the reasons why someone should buy her a ticket to (name your place) because…

  202. GenuineSD says:

    So here I am reading about dollops of cream and all this perkiness… how am I supposed to go to sleep ??

  203. Moon Patrol says:

    Well if you put it that way… then OK stormcat

  204. Arcadia SB says:

    I have always been insecure about my small boobs too! My sister is short, blonde, with huuuuuugggeee….tracts o’land. I was always tall (well not anymore, I leveled out at 5’5 when I was bout 11…) gangly and awkward. Though seeing her suffer with back pain until she got a reduction made me not quite so insecure about my little B’s. At least they’re perky…though i am envious of you C cup ladies.

  205. Stormcat says:

    Moon Patrol – I don’t know, If you got the offer to lick cream dollops off a friendly set of D’s I think you might have a hard time declining.

  206. Sara says:

    P.S. Hey dolls, miss me? 😉 lol

  207. Sara says:

    Speaking of boobs…..I am 4 ft. 8 and I have 36 DD’s….. lol, makes for an interesting visual

  208. Moon Patrol says:

    Whipped cream is only for pies, coffee, and ice cream!

  209. Lisa says:

    it’s for both TexaSugah :)

  210. TexaSugah says:

    @SD Guru…. You know what??? You are too much.

    Alice- sorry it got cheesy.

    Thanks Lisa and Midwest… The congrats is great. Thanks. Was it for the degree or the pot? Lol.

  211. Moon Patrol says:

    Bela- Just keep them as they are and don’t do any reduction surgery.
    The only ones that freak me out are those Big boob websites where these girls have these huge impossible breasts.

  212. Moon Patrol says:

    ALice—I can’t look you up with only three digit number.

    Anyway you women worry about your tops, while we men worry about our belly. Its a natural progression as you get older for it to go out. Its just a matter of how much you want to fight it with exercise and diet. I know when I was less flexible in tying my shoes that I should try and change that. I think a 40 plus year old man with a six pack is kind of abnormal.

  213. Bela says:

    I like mine…the shape is great and for their size, they’re quite perky. i just wish they were smaller.

  214. The Lone Gunman says:

    Seven days until TLG climbs into great silver bird and flies across big water.

    TLG

  215. GenuineSD says:

    @Bela.. Awww shucks… thank you.

    @ Moon Patrol.. I agree with you. Natural is better.

  216. Gemi says:

    “boobs have been the talk of the Congo”

    what congo line have YOU been a part of??? lol

    I really can’t join in on the boob conversation. I love mine. lolol

  217. ARCTIC SD says:

    Boobs – Anything more than a mouthful is a waste.

  218. Moon Patrol says:

    I don’t know if I speak for all men but I’d rather be involved with small than artificial (boobs).

  219. Carebear says:

    More like STUPID type

    Ok I’m done.

  220. Carebear says:

    *convo damnit smart-type

  221. Carebear says:

    Boobs have been the topic of Congo for like a day and no peep from guru!

    • SD Guru says:

      @Carebear
      Boobs have been the topic of Convo for like a day and no peep from guru!

      I’ve been too busy playing… but here’s a peep while I put some whipped cream to good use!! :mrgreen:

  222. Lily says:

    I went rock climbing for the first time yesterday. It just, well…..rocked! (hardy har har, I’m so punny!)

    I can’t wait to go again, I think I found a wintertime hobby! Besides jetting off to Rome, of course. :) Gosh I am psyched about that turn of events today! I’ve always wanted to go to Rome so badly!!!!

    Sorry for the gush-ity gush gush gush. Just having a great week!

  223. Alice says:

    How on earth did I miss a boob-convo? I’ve always hated mine, been floating between a large A and small B for most of my life. I was definitely one of those crazy girls in HS who bought those breast enlargement pills and cried myself to sleep when they didn’t work lol. It’s still something I’m very insecure about (the most awkward proportions…broad shoulders and wide hips…but no rack??), and I’ve been flip-flopping on the whole surgery thing. I’m all for changing yourself “for the better”, but I think way too many people are fatally injured, develop lifelong complications, or die every year as a result of unnecessary medical procedures. The broke college student diet has kept them on the lower end of the spectrum, so maybe once I get all of this tuition paid off I’ll treat myself to a nice full C cup haha.

    Moon Patrol – changed the url in my name to my profile, which is currently undergoing revision #256 lol.

    If anyone has any suggestions for anymore revisions, I’d be happy to her them. :)

  224. Yaz says:

    Carebear~ roflmaooo

  225. Yaz says:

    Stormy~ Thanks for the info! :)

  226. Yaz says:

    Dandelion Wine~ Think Kim K’s ass 😛
    I love her ass tho lol

  227. Shay says:

    growing? my boobs are shrinking :( I must be the female benjamin button

  228. Carebear says:

    D dub-I think it’s on the larger end of the scale, somewhere above apple bottom and ‘shelf’…..

    And boots with the fur…..

  229. Moon Patrol says:

    Alice- Whats your profile Number? I’d like to check you out. And my profile is currently hidden but I may turn it on soon.

  230. Dandelion Wine says:

    What’s a beachball bootie ?

  231. SanDiego sb says:

    good afternoon sugars! I’ve been busy with the new job (making that sugar 😉 )

    hope everyones week is going well!

    margarita girls night in san diego :)

  232. Bela says:

    AWWWW GESL I hope she’s an anomaly. I would love to get a reduction. I dream of the day when I can wear a simple tshirt or tank top without having to look like some bimbo.

  233. Bela says:

    lol LKO That’s actually what I was just going to ask.

  234. LKO says:

    Furthermore, can someone explain M&M’s and lemon tips?

  235. Green Eyed Sugar Lady says:

    TOBlondie,

    What Cleo said! Our bodies in general aren’t really done growing until around age 25. That’s when my B’s turned into C’s, and my hips gained a nice curve. If you can, wait awhile before deciding on surgery, and enjoy those push-up bras while you can! If I try and wear one now, it feels distracting and odd, even with C’s. :)

    Same goes for breast reduction, actually. I had a friend who had this done in high school, she went from a D to a B, lost some “baby fat” a few years later and regretted having had the procedure.

  236. LKO says:

    ‘Pls, pls, pls, pls, absolutely no fatties , cellulite, luv handles, beer gutties, beachball booty, pear shaped bods, pathetic M&M’s or lemon tips , or the dreaded “droopies” , no thunder thighs, no turkey necks , no dishpan hands , grandma wings , no ignorant inbred cretins or chix WITHOUT PIX , this cood mean you, furthermore no churchgoers, no non drinkers or goofy scoolteachers/social workers, =o), keep scrolling >>’

    Is this guy serious?

  237. Green Eyed Sugar Lady says:

    DW,

    No offense taken, but I think you may have misunderstood the point I was trying to make. TOBlondie had questioned how women over 40 could have a similar value to someone younger, I was pointing out some of the reasons that might be, based upon my own personal experience. (and generalizing, as I said.) The school comment was just to point out there are students of all ages, for various reasons. No one is superior, nor inferior- we all have different qualities to offer and someone who will appreciate them.

  238. cleo says:

    TorontoBlondie: your boobs will keep growing until you’re 25, wait a bit at least okay milady? it’s harder to unaugment your boobs than it is to wait a bit and be sure

    i am SOOO grateful i didn’t “fix” my nose in my youth…
    .
    bela i went up to e’s when i got fat and SING IT SISTER! big boobs are a pain!

  239. Bela says:

    GenuineSD :) I like it. You are such a sweetheart.

  240. GenuineSD (Formerly FL-SD) says:

    Howdy all,
    It being the end of the year and all, I’ve decided to start the new year off with a new blog name, GenuineSD. It’s just another way of describing myself that’s a little less “geographic”….
    I hope the new year brings everyone their fondest sugar dreams…

  241. Stormcat says:

    Yazamatazzz – I’ve been pricing tickets to China lately and I found that if you go at the end of march you can find round tiips into Hong Kong for a little over $500. From there you can take a ferry to many destinations in southern China. Hotels are inexpensive there. Five star rooms are around $70/night. The main thing is to get a sponser/guide who speaks and reads chinese. Once you are out of Hong Kong there is nothing in english and very few people there speak it. The only problem with end of march is the weather. That is the beginning of the monsoon season and it can be a bit intense.

  242. Bela says:

    Feeling slightly bada$$ by still being able to kick some office butt while trying to get over this head cold.

    Yaz – I would very much prefer to have smaller perky ones :) Big boobs are highly overrated.

    Sweet Action, Lily!!!! I hope you ladies have an absolute blast flirting with the beautiful Italian men :)

    Alice – Glad to hear you’re okay. I always try to have a back up when I have a date of any kind in case he cancels or plans just fall through. That way, you still have at least some control in making sure you have a good time 😉

    TLG – (in my sweetest Southern voice) Bless your heart, you are a hot mess!

  243. Midwest SB says:

    SoNJSugar – Take the time to read the previous blogs. The blog landing page has links to specific topics that are very helpful when starting out. If you have specific questions after your ‘research’ please ask! Welcome!

    Yaz – Glad you’re feeling better!

    Lily – Cool!

    TLG – You always make my day a little brighter!

  244. Yaz says:

    Lily~ That is awesome! Lucky you.
    I wish someone would buy me a ticket to Shangai just because….lol ( I am dying to visit Asia someday)

    Feeling a lot better today :)

    Hope everyone has a great day!

  245. Yaz says:

    TO Blondie~ It is ok to “cheat” as far as cleavage goes lol So I say go with the padded bras and leave plastic surgery alone. You are too young for that. Besides I am sure men prefer cute perky boobies to huge saggy ones….

  246. SoNJSugar says:

    What do my fellow SBs have in the ways of advice to someone who’s starting out?

  247. The Lone Gunman says:

    I’m Dressin’ Up Like Santa Claus on Christmas
    as soon as I can get out on parole
    I’ll hang out on your street
    Your kids I’d love to meet
    as soon as I get out of this rat hole!

    I won’t mind just sliding down your chimney
    Cause I just spent fifteen years shovelin’ coal
    I’m Dressin’ Up Like Santa Claus on Christmas
    as soon as I can get out on parole!

    I’m anxious to get out among the living
    and I’m makin’ up a list of folks to see
    duded up in red and white
    instead of these old stripes
    just think of how surprised they’re gonna be!

    Thank you Bob Rivers!

    TLG

  248. Cecile says:

    Whaaaa? Score, Lily. Way to go!
    Enjoy Rome. Paris will always be here.
    I have a week off at the end of May, so I’m considering a trip North then. I’ll let you know!

  249. FL-SD says:

    @Carebear… Some are born without ’em, some forget how to be honest…
    It’s a personality trait, like most others, and so if it’s an important trait, screen for it. In my experience, communication goes a long way to avoiding misunderstandings…but not all men have the backbone to make tough choices. Some lead, some follow, and some decide to sit on the sidelines….

  250. Midwest SB says:

    Care bear- the good news is you can likely say that to him directly…unless he’s your boss!

  251. Stormcat says:

    @ guru – Sounds cool. btw If I send you a link to an apt that I’m considering could you tell me a little about the neighborhood?

  252. Carebear says:

    Oh so many stories Michael. Seriously, why can’t men wear pants all the time, I’m sick of making decisions for them. I’m 24 it’s not my job.

  253. Michael Alleycat says:

    @Carebear – a story behind that comment? Do tell!!!

  254. Carebear says:

    Question: why can’t all men just have a pair?

    Grrrrr

  255. Carebear says:

    Happy dance with lily!

  256. Lily says:

    Holy Sugar, Batman! A trip to Rome for me & my mom, *just because*!!

    I think this is….”the moooost wonderful Tiiiiiiime of the yeeeeeeear!!!”

    I’m beside myself in anticipation of a fun vacation w/ my super-cool mom!

    I am sorry, Cecile–no Paris for me–my calendar’s now too full these days to do it! At least anytime soon. But come visit *me!!*

  257. Alice says:

    Totally late to this party…..

    @Texas – as Sara said, I did end up bailing after red flag upon red flag. Had a great time in the city instead with my best friends! (2 nights in with the girls on a budget haha.) Of course now I’m still “dead ass broke” lol, but my search continues. :)

  258. Dandelion Wine says:

    Toronto, your boobs don’t touch because they don’t sag. Leave them be :)

  259. Dandelion Wine says:

    GESL, nooooo offense, but plenty of people didn’t have to wait until their 40’s to finish schooling/get their careers on track/figure out what they want to do with their lives. Good for you for making the best of your situation, but I don’t really see how those examples support the supposed superiority of age over youth.
    Besides, why would anyone feel threatened with how Toronto feels about her youth? Maybe by the time she is 25 she will have earned a Phd, married a billionaire and made her first million.

  260. Arcadia SB says:

    “Good night John boy”

  261. ARCTIC SD says:

    Midwest – I would not even attempt trading against NYC. Besides I am a lover, not a fighter….:)

  262. Midwest SB says:

    Where’s NYC!?! She could be our fierce trader. I’d put her up against any of you guys :-)

    Carebear – I’m happy to chat offline if you wish. OC/ Stephan anyone available to send her my e-mail? Thanks!

  263. ARCTIC SD says:

    SD Twice – great time for the Canadian SDs to hedge and start buying USD forward. Perhaps I should start looking for an American sb?

  264. ARCTIC SD says:

    Adoc – no harm done if you think you are ready to jump back into the sugar bowl. Just try to learn from the last episode of Mr Coin. BTW do you still have the coin? You should get it appraised and perhaps use it to light up a bit of your financial situation.

    What ever you do, good luck and I send some great karma albeit a bit frozen your way.

  265. Midwest SB says:

    Texassugah!!!!!!! Congratulations…what a reason to celebrate! Very few words can express how happy I am for you!!!!

  266. torontoblondie says:

    lolll my boobs no!! No guy has EVER told me to change my boobs, the exact oppoist every guy I’ve dated said they loveeee my boobs, I’ve just started wearing the new double push up bra from lezena — (I SUGGEST: Any other women buy this bra!!! Victoria Secert sells one too – they sell for around 50% but at lezana they go on sale to 29 dollars!!! and I find its better quality as my Victoria secert one is ripping a little bit :s) –> anywho I’ve never had clevage in my life that would touch…. this is the only reason I;ve been having thoughts about a boob job and from my girlfriends, I just hate taking off the bra now and being likke… where the fuck did my boobs go :S

    honestly go bye it.

    Yes I’m 19!

    And the 27 year old lol no wasn’t a boyfriend kind of thing and thank you very much but I know how to date was dating a guy for over 2 years and then moved to a different relationship that is now over a year long. Dating is not the issue nor my body. —> p.s. I never bitched out at the 27 year old I just stopped talking to him, we didn’t have sex or do anything for a month as we were taking things slow and then I felt pressured by him one time and I was like … ummmm no you don’t pressure me into anything and refused to speak to him since that date, no contact nothing, just really only want my cellphone back.

    I do like older men but I have also been screwed over by them. I had a relationship with a guy that was much older than me and it actually lasted over a few months and i didn’t ask for anything b/c i didn’t need anything at the time and then when I asked for something he gave me false cheques, honestly I just started to understand that I have something men want and they have something they can offer me in turn, the whole learning something from my sugar daddy stuff… men always say they will help you out and give you a job but theres so much talk on this site I feel, but then again if there wasn’t the internet I would never do this, I’m to shy to talk about this stuff in person :p

    (i also found out after that he did it to another female – and I’m sure we all have stories of these to tell – and yes before someone responds saying “you can’t view every man that way” etc etc etc etc – I don’t I have had strong feelings for the sugar daddies that have treated me with respect but those ones also travel to much and are available once a month … not too helpful

    and ThirdWorldSugarBaby – read a few of your messages, really like everything you have to say especially about how you know how much you are worth and the jerk that thought you can offer you 3rd world prices hahahahaha omg men can be so funny. But then again everyone wants to get the biggest bang for their buck no matter how much money they actually have grrrrrrr

    and the bitching at sugar daddies stuff – I didn’t do that to men that I had a relationship with just those jerks that think 100 dolllars should be gold to a university student, n-o t-h-a-n-k -y-o-u and my bitching hopefully leads them to leave the site and stop messing with us. I had to tell one guy that I obviously don’t like him and no one would in the same situation – he also posted a picture that wasn’t him – agreed to an allowance and then was like no I don’t want a relationship like that its not what I seek.. i’m like then get off that site you freak and then tried to offer me a pair of 100 dollar shoes, those men the ones that are literally crazy. CRAZZZZYYYYY.

    anywho prb going to bed now long day night night

  267. aspiring-doc says:

    @ artic sd. Yeah its problematic! have had to reduce holiday to two weeks- just requires some switching of flights :) im excited. In the meantime im poor and beginnign tot hink i need a sugar daddy again 😛 my other job is only part-time in december :(.

  268. SD TWICE says:

    Shay says:
    December 14, 2010 at 3:48 pm
    @ SD Twice – I imagine that the financial states of SBs are even more varied than those of SDs. The low end of SDs have a natural cap (need to earn a certain amount of $ before you can give it away) …

    ……

    From what I’ve heard the low end cap is somewhere around money for coffee at the internet cafe.

    What would be the implications of either case of SBs or SDs having more financial states?

  269. Michael Alleycat says:

    @LadyIntim – it may be a bit late (well actually it is) but you wanna screen my new SB?

  270. SD TWICE says:

    So Guru’s article asks the question, ‘what sort of job would the SB have to get to make [fill in the allowance]’ which would somehow be in part of a post about what the allowance means to an SB which I hope I didn’t promise to write but might show up at some point in whole or bits and pieces.

    Much of the post would talk about what X buys, or what package of things X buys… ie. X rents a studio apt (sans roomate) in a desireable area of [major nice city], pays utilities, cell phone, gym membership, groceries …

  271. Lisa says:

    and I did hide my profile when I met my last sd and we had an agreement. He also hid his

  272. Lisa says:

    That’s good news TexasSugah, hopefully some of those
    gift cards” will be visa and Amex

  273. TexaSugah says:

    Evening sugars,

    Well, it looks like just abbot everything has been tied up. Great advice!!

    It’s good to read from some sugars that I haven’t. Storm,Yaz.. Good to see you.

    Bi~ wanted to congratulate you. You’ll be so happy when it’s done. Just got my final grades. Graduation on Saturday. I won’t march but… I’m happy.

    Jersey Lisa and Twice gave you some great advice

    Had a pot date tonight. He is fantastic, mr. Midtown. Looks like he’s going to be a gift daddy. He brought up the assistance. He said that he would like to lighten my load with gift cards with fairly large amounts on them. Then after sometime together I’ll get my own card.

    He requested I hide my profile if I agree to the agreement. This happens all the time. I guess it would be a compliment.

    Oh. The first sd that requested this was from SA. The one today is from SD.com

    I guess I’m in the awkward ” is he real stage ”

    Night all!

  274. SD TWICE says:

    I like this from Guru’s Guy in TO who said…

    “Yes, it’s the tax rate. But unlike the Scandinavian countries, our proximity to the US means that some Canadian SBs have experience with US-based SDs, and have a misplaced sense of the finacial implications.” [hope its ok to quote that.]

    It all gets so mixed up. Like I said a couple weeks ago, CAD$ is typically worth maybe 70 cents, but now its worth $1. So what’s that doing to Canadian SDs? Originally I asked what it does to US SDs as a specific to a comment about Americans ending up someplace they don’t want to be.

    (Could say gold/silver @ 1400/30, euro 1.40 vs .95, Yen 83, oil 88 … extra 2 or 3 or 10 trillion in US debt* SDs have to pay for, whatever)

    Note: arrangement would have to break 3 month rule to bring level of US debt into account.

  275. SD TWICE says:

    …, but on our next date…

  276. SD TWICE says:

    Jersey, Why did you join SA? What are your goals?

    You could treat this like a normal first date. Find out about what he has in mind and discuss what compatibility you two have as far as what you can give and need.

    When he asks you to sleep with him on the first date, say ‘No.’ Then do No. Once a woman said to me ‘it won’t happen tonight, but on our date…’ That sounded pretty good; I had not asked about sleeping together, but it was just part of the flow of conversation of how the relationship might unfold in the near term.

  277. Lisa says:

    jerseysugar, you need to find out early if this gentleman is offering allowance as there are many guys just looking for a travel companion and feel that paying for expenses is enough. This will really only work if you have no bills (if you’re traveling all the time, you won’t be able to hold a job and pay your bills), have no responsibilities (school, work, etc). Whereas one can travel and work if they have a flexible job or when school is on recess, but many of travel sds i’ve come across have wanted someone that could travel at moment’s notice or more frequently than a normal working person can accomodate. And never sleep with a sd on the first date.

  278. jerseysugar says:

    Hello fellow sb! I have my very first potSD date tommorrow night. I’m a little nervous and could use some advice, he is taking me to kc prime, which is a steakhouse. How should I dress on this first date? I’m not sure what I should discuss finance wise. He loves to travel and has already hinted to me via text message that he would love to bring me along. And as far as a sexual relationship, I am not the kind of girl who sleeps with a man on the first date, if that’s what he wants how do I handle that. I know this has pretty much nothing to do with the discussion on here already, I’m just stressing out and would like some advice. It would be great if there was a sb close to me that we could share stories and advice and even moral support.

    Thanks guys!

    • SD Guru says:

      @JerseySugar

      It’s a nice place and the dinner tab will probably be $200-300 depending what you order. Have you been to a date at a place like that, and if so, how did you dress? You can never go wrong with a little black dress. Is the pot local or from out of town? Typically a first meet is to get to know each other and see if there is compatibility and chemistry. And if it goes well then you can agree to have a second date to take things further. However, if he’s from out of town then he may expect more out of the first meet. Ask him what his expectations are, and if it’s different from yours then explain your position to him. As for the allowance discussion and what to talk about, check out these two posts in the pages section: “Communicating with SD’s” and “Questions Every SB Should Ask“. Lastly, don’t do anything you’re not comfortable with. Good luck!

  279. Michael Alleycat says:

    @SD Guru – rent, deposit etc is roughly the same as (ok so a little bit more) I would have provided for this months pro-rata allowance. I told her the allowance amount, we can slice and dice it any number of ways.

  280. Shay says:

    @ SD Twice – I imagine that the financial states of SBs are even more varied than those of SDs. The low end of SDs have a natural cap (need to earn a certain amount of $ before you can give it away) but there is no cap on how [i]wealthy[/i] an SB could be and still have her hand out asking for more (paris hilton etc).

    This blog alone seems to be comprised of SBs who are students, working students, employed & self-employed with stated incomes up to 100k, and unemployed relying primarily on SD support.

  281. WCSD says:

    Gemi – I think it is valid to not only SBs but also SDs. Really SDs also need to not link the gift to anything else. Again, sex, fun, etc. shouldn’t be linked to the gift by either the SD or the SB.

  282. SD TWICE says:

    Guru, that has always been my position on people’s realities*, with the same caveat that they really be realities.

    * Provided you meant to say ‘Sugar relationships exist in various allowance ranges regardless of your reality.’

    • SD Guru says:

      @Michael
      Helping her move into new house, paid deposit, rent, utilities etc, all is good. I have a slight feeling she may try and trickle out the “thank you, but now I need this” routine.

      Sigh… Michael, you’re nice guy. And you know what they say about nice guys… Years ago I paid a semester’s tuition for a new SB upfront, with the agreement that we’ll meet once or twice a month during the semester. She poofed and we ever made it to the third meeting (she was in AZ by the way). I’m not saying that’s what will happen to you. I’m just saying when there is a large amount of money involved upfront in an arrangement, a SD can open himself up for disappointment.

      In addition, it seems you have a hunch that she could be the “now that I have a found a SD to pay my bills, let me dump all my problems on him” type I mentioned in my blog. All I can say is, I look forward to that steak dinner and beer in February!! 😆

      @SD TWICE
      Provided you meant to say ‘Sugar relationships exist in various allowance ranges regardless of your reality.’

      Yes, that’s a good way to sum up my post.

      Those posts from SDinLA were good.. But, it only focuses the calculation for one income – 1.5M – and doesn’t spell it out for others…

      The “Allowance in Real Dollar Terms” post in my blog is similar to his post, but covers a wider income range.

      The other perspective is what X allowance means to an SB – what does X pay for…

      You mentioned you could provide that perspective, so please write it up when you get a chance!

      @TorontoBlondie

      Are you sure you’re even 19? I wouldn’t consider the 27yo guy you described as a SD, he’s more like a rich boyfriend because there is no clear boundary and it’s full of drama. Which probably explains why you feel the need to cuss out your ex SD’s. As for the boob job, it’s more common than you think in the sugar world. :) But keep in mind that you should get a boob job only because you want it, not because someone else want you to.

  283. Gemi says:

    WCSD – “You need to get over your adversion to getting gifts. Gifts, money, etc. are just that….gifts. There is no contract that a BMW equals a year of staying with anyone. Just accept the gift, smile, be polite, and either continue or not the relationship.”

    Thank you. I know this was aimed at TOblondie but it is good advice all around, and a problem I myself have.

  284. SD TWICE says:

    Mikey, all I can do is shake my head.

    Why do you do these things?

  285. SD TWICE says:

    Those posts from SDinLA were good and even if you quibble with some of the numbers, overall its in the ballpark. But, it only focuses the calculation for one income – 1.5M – and doesn’t spell it out for others. I would imagine 1.5M is more than the honest income of 98% of active SD profiles on SA.

    Also, its written from the perspective of what it takes for an SD to have X available for an allowance. The other perspective is what X allowance means to an SB – what does X pay for…

  286. Michael Alleycat says:

    Hey ho
    Well, deal done with new #1. Helping her move into new house, paid deposit, rent, utilities etc, all is good. I have a slight feeling she may try and trickle out the “thank you, but now I need this” routine. Ummmm, no. This women is freakishly smart, I am going to have to be on my toes. Or keep her on her toes, if you know what I mean …

    Closed out previous #1, agreed to pay extra month. Talk about drama – her ex (the former cage fighter) somehow had access to her bank account and cleaned it out last week. For some reason, she had given him access to the account, even though he was meant to just deposit alimony into the account. Ouch!

  287. Arcadia SB says:

    @carebear – I think the blog is the safest place. Though I don’t trust therapists anyway (childhood paranoia, came from a blended family so I got dragged into a shrinks office when I was like 5 and got so freaked out by the nice man trying to ask me too many probing questions about how I “felt” about my siblings having another mommy and crap like that…never trusted them since). I did get drunk and confess to one of my best friends about how the guy I was seeing occasionally wasn’t someone my friends would ever meet and that I’d met him on SA. Mainly I don’t want to tell any of my friends because those who won’t judge might just tell the ones who would…nothing is as much fun to share as someone elses secrets…I just come read the blog and realize that I am not alone…even if I am in the middle of nowhere KY.

  288. Lily says:

    Carebear – zazazoom! ’nuff said.

  289. cleo says:

    wcsd: aw missed you by three hours *g*

    i think sdinla was always open to the possibility of meeting his next wife but liked sb’s because the lines were clear

  290. cleo says:

    midwest sb: i wish them much luck; i’ll then be sad to see him back here if i ever do.

    i always wonder about people born into vast wealth, it must be so strange to deal with ‘mortals’ sometimes.

    my friend can’t make his car payments and his friend can’t spend enough at his club so my friend watches three car payments go by for dinner just so his friend can ‘make the cap’ which he will be charged anyway

  291. WCSD says:

    Midwest – Is it that he is making an honest woman out of someone, or they are making an honest man out of him?

  292. Midwest SB says:

    Cleo – Last I heard SDinLA is trying to make an honest woman out of some lucky lady :-)

  293. cleo says:

    guru thanks for posting SDinLAs thoughts on allowance, they’re very interesting so far. why did he leave the sugar bowl? i’m all curious!

  294. Carebear says:

    No apology necessary! Wasn’t something I was seriously considering, but the question popped in my head and this place is such a wealth of answers/opinions/both.

  295. Stormcat says:

    Carebear – I apopogize! I wasn’t trying to freak anyone out, especially not you! I was talking theoretically, worst case scenerio, million to one one odds against it. In practice, any therapist who breaches loses their job, reputatation, and lisence, so they would be crazy to do it.
    .

  296. WCSD says:

    NC Heels – Very well put. That should be posted on the front page of SA. – “it’s not about a number, it’s about the experience. A life-enhancing experience is worth more than a super-high allowance from the wrong guy. “

  297. NC Heels says:

    @torontoblondie

    Reading your posts, I feel a strong need to say something. You are a 19 year old college student and that is wonderful. You are allowed to make your own decisions and you have to live with the consequences of those decisions. Be yourself, never ever compromise your ideals, and don’t allow anyone to cross your boundaries. Whether it’s sugar or IRL dating, if one guy doesn’t treat you right, move on to someone who will, because there are many options out there and you deserve to be treated right. You don’t need to change yourself for anyone to like you (body, ideals, etc) so don’t even spend any of your college years and beyond even considering the idea.

    I would suggest doing some regular dating so the sugar world doesn’t get under your skin too much. I agree with SD Guru when it comes to how you view arrangements. . .it’s not about a number, it’s about the experience. A life-enhancing experience is worth more than a super-high allowance from the wrong guy. Ask yourself 1) Do I enjoy dating older men? 2) What do I have to offer? 3) What can I learn from my SD?

    Do this for the experience first and foremost. The money, age differences, and intimacy are a part of it, but the real SD/SB relationship is an experience, not a transaction. When you find a really good one, you’ll understand. I just wanted to reach out and say something here.

    I’m no expert at anything but I wish I had found this blog when I first started in the sugar world…

  298. WCSD says:

    @TO Blondie

    Monthly arrangments – I understand your logic, and agree with it. I think you will find many SBs and SDs who take this approach (whether they’ll admit to it here or not). But it seems like your goal is still the montly arrangement.

    “Do any of you end relationships so badly with ex sugar daddies that you find yourself cussing them out?” – From a SD perspective. No. I don’t cuss out SBs even if it ends badly. I’m not looking for drama in this world, and there is no value in burning bridges. I doesn’t bother me if a SB did that to me, because I’d just ignore it, and it would confirm to me that the ending was a good thing.

    Your gift daddy – You need to get over your adversion to getting gifts. Gifts, money, etc. are just that….gifts. There is no contract that a BMW equals a year of staying with anyone. Just accept the gift, smile, be polite, and either continue or not the relationship.

    I’m sure some part of finding a SB (or SD) is luck, but really isn’t everything. It all comes down to timing, etc. but there are definitely quality ‘ads’ and quality SBs that get more attention than others (deservedly so). I also wouldn’t lump in that SDs are looking for big boobs. Some are, some aren’t. Some like tall girls, some short. For me, I like variety…I’m an equal opportunity ‘dater’…

    Congrats on finishing your last exam. Enjoy your time off over the holidays.

  299. carebear says:

    Ok I’m officially freaked out. Forget it. Going back to emailing my sugar friends with my drama instead. Sorry guys.

  300. WCSD says:

    Samantha – I agree with Guru, send the pics to him (and to me!). Kidding! I personally am not a big fan of glamour pics, mainly because I’ve found in many cases this is a flag of someone fake (they stole the pics elsewhere and have posted that it is them). Now in your case you still have personal pics, which then removes the red flag for me, but in my opinion I wouldn’t make the glamour pic your ‘main picture’ just an add on (now this is for me, others prefer those pics, so really who knows…).

  301. Stormcat says:

    @ carebear and all – The understanding about the accepted and legal limits of confidentiality is pretty accurate. It is in the public interest to maintain certain conditions where confidentiality cannot be breached by order of the court or by government action. All is good. Or is it? Ask yourself what is the consequence of breaching the confidential statement of a patient made to a therapist. In NY it is not likely anything beyond a civil law suit for malpractice. And even at that, the level of the therapist would be taken into account. Was it a Psychoanalyst, a Psychiatrist, a Psychologist, a social worker, a religious counselor? And who has the burden of proof? And, even if you win, the damage award is monetary. Your reputation in the community is not restored. I’m not trying to sound an alarm and say don’t reveal yourself to your therapist. All I’m trying to say is that is is not so simple as everyone thinks and caution is the order of the day. i.e. Make sure your therapist is trustworthy before you reveal your personal breaches of societal dictated standards.

  302. torontoblondie says:

    @ WCSD:

    About the monthly arrangement – I agree completely with it and I would love one – but I’ve just had issues about reaching one as I think we all agree that we can’t ask the male on the first date to just us an allowance for the whole month until a relationship is established and sugar daddy can gain trust for the sugar baby to actually show up to the future dates! (I become a fireball if someone blows me off btw – first time ok but I don’t like men that think I’m a drop in for when ever they are free, I have needs to!)

    I’ve learnt to discuss these things before hand though, as I took chances before of just waiting for an allowance with men who for some reason just think I enjoyed their presence and don’t need anything in return? Lol maybe I should just go into acting :p

    Do any of you end relationships so badly with ex sugar daddies that you find yourself cussing them out? I’ve done that a few times :p lol I just don’t hold back, I’m a little bit of a fireball some times… its sad as most of them actually come crawling back the meaner you become to them!

    I had one great sugar daddy that would just buy me things, laptop, school books he wanted to buy me a bmw and he kept telling me he loved me and wanted to think of me as his girlfriend… he’s 27 mind you, I had to break apart, it’s just not good for men to become that attached and I wouldn’t want the car because I would see it as… hmmm I should at least stay with him for a year or else I’d feel guilty as hell. It’s my weakness :p I was thinking of recently seeing him he still has my ex blackberry lol the last time i broke off contact I left the blackberry in the helicopter by accident and I don’t back up my numbers so I have literally 5 numbers in my phone I feel like a loser! –> but i’ll just hold myself together as I’m surprised I haven’t seen him yet he bought a gym membership at my university!! But he just landed in my lap – a girlfriend gave me his number as she couldn’t go on a trip to montreal with him and he told his friends he was visiting he was going to bring a ‘girlfriend’ and didn’t want to seem like a loser! lol funny how things work out :p

    but other than that I really don’t think theirs a trick to this site then “luck” – maybe good pictures to as I know some men that are very wealthy but really want the best – victoria secret amazing too bad I’m literally flat – not into the breast surgery too, the only surgery I’ve got was when I was 6 and broke my arm… they gave me chocolate ice cream :) and I got all the treats I wanted. When my sister broke her arm (she was younger) she had to buy gum with her money and brought half of it back for me!! She still doesn’t forgive me for not bringing her anything back, not my fault I was a cuter child (I had a speak impediment … unfortunately the letter was one that was also found in my name… how sad is it when you can’t even tell someone your name!!!

    has anyone on here actually got any breast implants? I heard they hurt like a bitch, you can still breast feed right?

    sorry for the long message had my LAST exam at 8 am this morning 😀 Just had a cappuccino with 6 sugars so I can clean my condo – I can’t focus though

  303. Samantha says:

    lol.

    thanks for the advice. it’s not like i look like a completely different person or anything. it just looks like a more glammed up version of me in my bathing suit…muahaha. so i will go ahead and put them up. :)

  304. BiBaby says:

    @Carebear,

    I don’t think any shrink could turn you in for such a thing….BUT a caveat my sugar sister,

    If you are mentioning the sex for money equation (and most non-sugar family will take it that this is what we do, even though it isn’t…) or allowance, IF the shrink suspects you of prostitution, they I believe in some states CAN turn you in for breaking the law.

    Anything you tell a counselor, IF it is considered against the “public policy” (i.e. a major law and not a misdemeanor, or a crime against persons), I believe CAN and often WILL be reported by them to the authorities. For example if a man confesses he has molested an underage child, many times you’ll see that called in and an arrest made. That admission to the counselor is NOT protected by provider-client relations if it involves anything illegal other than drug use (use is OK, if you’re distributing, prepare to be reported…).

    I know this because a man we knew in our church had abuse issues and he confessed them to a counselor who then reported the abuse to the police. The wife actually did NOT want this to happen but it did anyway. Also if you go to a counselor who is “faith based”, they can often tell your church any “grevious crimes” you are morally committing. This is only a problem usually if you are Catholic, Mormon (LDS) or Pentecostal anyway, but just a warning to be careful what you tell a counselor.

    Personally I would ask word of mouth for a good one, who sees homosexuals and others outside the “normal” fringes, one who will not judge you nor be inclined to misinterpret your sugar life for something it is not. It only takes one mistake to ruin a life, but were it me, I would not seek a counselor. I don’t think (personally) anyone who hasn’t been where you are in the sugar bowl can really empathize and understand you and be as healthy for you. A good sugar friend might be your best option.

  305. Samantha says:

    hi all quick question,
    my friend asked me to model for a project shoot she was doing for her photography class and even though i am NOT a model i agreed lol. the shoot turned out well and i wanted to put a couple on my profile because i like them alot. right now i only have normal pictures like from my facebook/mac and i’m kind of torn on whether to put them or not? i don’t want guys to think i’m a model or something because i know alot of girls on here model and have their ‘glamour pictures’ up and i don’t want to misrepresent myself as a model.

    • SD Guru says:

      @Samantha
      i’m kind of torn on whether to put them or not?… and i don’t want to misrepresent myself as a model.

      Why don’t you send me those pics and I’ll give you my expert opinion? Just kidding… 😛
      I think most men understand that just because you can pose in front of a camera it doesn’t necessarily make you a model. So feel free to use pics that you think are a good representation of what you look like.

  306. BiBaby says:

    @SDTWICE,

    You are probably waaaay too much of a gentleman to understand how an ex wife doesn’t get alimony (both my SD’s in the past paid alimony to their 1st & one to a 2nd wife….good men I will say), but when you are very young (remember I was in my early 20’s with an infant and an abusive husband), you don’t know what your rights are.

    Because he was capable of violence, and his father very very well-connected and wealthy, I was afraid to drag him through court. It was put to me that things could happen to me and I could lose my daughter, which was the most frightening thing to me. Not death, but losing my precious child. I had already lost her twin and later learned I’ll never have children again. I was told that being a single, jobless mother living with a mother on state welfare herself (my mom was broke after being widowed by a hubby with no life insurance) that I would NEVER keep custody since his mother didn’t work and was willing to stay home with the baby and they had $$. I had nothing to offer but my love for my child. I would clearly have to go back to work and likely school (which I am now).

    Not everyone operates according to the law, remember that. People disappear and are murdered every day. I know 2 female friends both killed by their significant others and I mourn their loss, but I also know there’s a line you don’t cross.

    Until you’ve been there, it’s easy to judge, but no, not everyone is the honorable man you would be in that situation, sadly.

    I definitely want details on the Carolina meet!!!!!

  307. @carebear

    Ditto on what everyone else has said about confidentiality agreements. Even if you /were/ a prostitute and were selling drugs on the side, etc., a therapist wouldn’t be able to breach confidentiality. Unless you were planning to kill yourself, someone else, etc. Or in the case of confessing childhood sexual abuse, I believe. Reading up on the HIPAA guidelines are a good idea.

  308. NC Heels says:

    @Bela

    TY…Older men are pretty awesome…

  309. Shay says:

    carebear – no you are protected by confidentiality agreements. When those get overturned it’s because of perceived extreme life-and-death type crimes.

  310. SD Guru says:

    All this talk about pole dancing… it’s nice to have a SB who can teach the class!! :mrgreen:

    @Michael
    The point is that if there is a good size asset base, particularly in a good market, the $ are not an issue. I can earn $150k at a job, pay $4k / month, and not have an issue if the market is doing well.

    That’s where the “net worth” part of the equation comes in. However, it assumes that the assets are liquid and can readily be converted to cash at a reasonable market price. But what happens when the market is not doing well, which can happen quite often in this economy, do you give your SB a pay cut? A high net worth is nice, but there are too many “if’s” to count on it to produce a steady allowance. Therefore a SD’s income may be a more reliable indicator. Again, individual cases may vary and there are always exceptions.

    @OC

    The feeling is mutual! 😉

    @Lady Intim
    My prediction is that TorontoB will end up going from p4p to regular SD relationship set-up once she splashes around on SA long enough.

    Actually, some never make the transition and some become escorts. When one starts to put a price tag on herself, it can either be empowering or agonizing depending on the person.

    @Carebear
    Starting to think I need to see someone about this ‘adventure’ other than my laptop.

    Just curious, why do you need to see a shrink about this? Shrinks in NYC should be used to hearing about the sugar life, no?

    @Stormcat
    I’m going to be living in Vegas for the first half of 2011.

    Maybe we can make the Vegas meet with Alleycat happen after all! He’s going to owe me a nice steak dinner and a beer around February… Or better yet, if he’s still with his soon to be #1 SB by then, he should bring her to Vegas and I’ll be happy to buy them a steak dinner! 😆

    ————————-

    In case anyone missed it, here’s SDinLA’s three part series on allowance from October: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3.

  311. NC Heels says:

    @carebear

    Interesting question about breaking of confidentiality

    Google “when can a counselor break confidentiality” and “HIPAA”

    I know there are certain scenarios like suspected child abuse or in the case of a subpoena…I am no authority but it does not seem to fall under the cases where a counselor is allowed to break confidentiality. After all, if you go to a therapist and tell them you are having an affair with a married man, can they do anything? No. If you are plotting a murder? Yes. Just my thinking on it.

  312. carebear says:

    Ok random and freaky question friends:

    Say you saw a shrink, and you confided in them about your ‘arrangements’, and they took it the wrong way…..could they turn you into the authorities for potential solicitation, etc?

    Starting to think I need to see someone about this ‘adventure’ other than my laptop.

    Any suggestions for NYC doctors?

  313. Stormcat says:

    Wow! Lady I. It’s been a long time since someone missed me here. Don’t post much anymore. I made mistakes and felt the sour, bitter, and salty aspects of both IRL and sugerland. I haven’t really tried to get out of it, though, because, as I state in my profile, I am a collector of situations and these experiences complete me and add wisdom to my soul. I’m going to be living in Vegas for the first half of 2011. (I know you’re not in Vegas but you’re in that regeon!) Perhaps we might cross paths.
    BiBaby – The actions of your husband, described in your post, touched me! I think he must truly love you and is a remarkable man to allow you your freedom. Just be careful of justification. It clouds your ability to be true to yourself as well as those you cherish.

  314. BG says:

    Hi everyone, just a little hello! Nice to see so many familiar names

    Midwest~ New SD????

    talk soon Sugars!

  315. Midwest SB says:

    Vacation! Not together though

  316. NC Heels says:

    @college SB

    I am way disorganized with my posts right now, but I think it works when you don’t try to hard to grip it, but “hold on loosely.” LOL Like the song… that worked for me anyway..that’s what I mean by not resisting the moving down the pole.

  317. Bela says:

    lol Ditto NC Heels on older men. They can make fantastic lovers. Good luck to you.

  318. NC Heels says:

    @college SB

    Yes, I think it’s the same studio. Starts with an A?

  319. Bela says:

    I’m glad you made it safely Midwest! That can be a bit scary. I have friends in Minneapolis that are buried and another friend is supposed to visit them on Thursday :)

  320. NC Heels says:

    @college SB

    Hey girl! The pole dancing is awesome but it hurts! Pole burn big-time! I found that I can grip it fine, but I tend to hold my entire weight by my hands, which I’m not sure if that’s right or not. When I tried some of the moves, it probably looked good because they were fast and smooth (due to holding my weight and not resisting the falling I guess), but it can hurt like crazy!

    I think we looked like a sexy polygamist family at the restaurant….
    How’s your sugar life going?

    @all
    On the topic of the age differences, all of my pot dates have been in their late 50s and I am mid-20s. Yes, we get stares. Groups of middle aged women make me the most uncomfortable. At least it was in another town this last time, that makes it easier. I don’t want to jinx it, but so far so good with my pot from last Thursday. He has taken an interest and we are seeing each other again soon so fingers crossed! He’s older than I’m used to but I was very attracted. I enjoy dating older men so I get all hot about it…LOL

  321. Midwest SB says:

    Third World – My flight on Sunday into Chicago was canceled. Finally made it in on Monday, but had to drive through that nightmare to get home! I did manage to turn lemons into lemonade though…attended a birthday party and scheduled an interview while stranded! Some things are just meant to be!

  322. Bela says:

    Wow…that is a first

  323. Dandelion Wine says:

    Haha, finally one thing I agree with SD TWICE on!

  324. @ Midwest

    If you’re in Chicago, your weather made INTERnational news. Chicago’s crazy weather is all over the news in India.

  325. Bela says:

    Good question TWICE. I hope to never find that out.

  326. SD TWICE says:

    I never understand these stories about not gettting alimony from a husband with means.

    Your lawyer just makes a motion and the judge orders it. I don’t know how one doesn’t recieve it? The husband pays for your lawyer too.

    So how does this occur in real life?

  327. Aurelia NC says:

    Carolinas meet!!! YES!!!!!

  328. Bela says:

    Yaz!!! You gave me your cold!

  329. Bela says:

    hmmm think I might be getting a head cold. This is not allowed to happen.

  330. Yaz says:

    Stephan~ you rock :)

    Ok I’m taking my tired and achy body to bed. Wish this cold would just go awayyyyyy. I hate being sick…..

  331. Midwest SB says:

    Our weather made national news! I need to head south!

  332. stephan says:

    @ OC – Love you most!!!! And thank you!! King of Kings… oh no!! Then who’s gonna be my sugar daddy?!! 😉

    @ Yaz: I’m doing great! Ok I’ll be posting more non-sugarlip pics promise! :)

    If anyone has an image or clip that you’d like seen on this blog please send it to: seekingblog (at) gmail.com, thanks!

  333. Yaz says:

    Stephan~ Hey you! 😀

    I have a little request…..Can we have something else other than kissy, pouty, studded, or sugary lips as the blog image?……Am I the only one who wants to see something else other than lips? 😛 Cute feet in dangerously high stilettos, cleavage, a cute purse, a woman’s sexy silhouette……I dont know…Anything in that nature…I am just tired of always seeing lips…haha
    I am sure the gents are not complaining….lol

  334. Midwest SB says:

    Cleo – my mistress is NYC…Yaz is my sugar sis!

  335. Yaz says:

    Me? Pool? Margaritas? I wish……lol

  336. Yaz says:

    And sorry for the typos. I am half asleep and half awake.

    Another snowy and freezing day in NY state…….

  337. cleo says:

    yaz i didn’t know you were sunning yourself at the side of the pool and sipping margaritas… when did we change places without me noticing? :)

  338. Yaz says:

    BiBaby said,

    “Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans….”

    My mom tells me the same thing EVERY TIME we talk on the phone. I paused for a few mins after reading your post and started remembering everything she has been telling me. Just like a few older SBs previously mentionned, she had goals for her life but stuff happened and she wasn’t not able to achieve them. She always says ” If there is one thing I could go back and change it would be the way I lived while I was younger. All I did was plan, plan plan for my future and I didn’t realize that I was not enjoying my youth.”
    She worked her ass off and STILL was not able to realize half of what she had planned while she was in her 20’s. It wasn’t because she didn’t try hard enough or didn’t work hard enough. It was simply because some events beyond her control happened and she had to switch priorities.

    TorontoBlondie ~
    Don’t be too concerned about what other SBs ( yound or old) are asking in terms of allowance. Know your value and do not settle for less. I have said on the blog before that there are some gorgeous, young, and smart SBs who are still sugarless while some other not so young, not so gorgeous SBs have NO problem finding SDs. Youth is not a huge advantage on this site. Seriously.
    It is nice to have plans in life but you just don’t know where you will be 20 or 30 years from now. ( well unless you’re God…) Never say never. What you told us happened between your mother and her sister is a perfect example of what life sometimes throws our way. Keep that in mind.
    Oh and this is coming from a 24 year old ex SB. I am only active on the blog for now but someday I might be back in the sugar bowl. You never know. :)

  339. cleo says:

    wow midwest i want to hear about your weekend! i didn’t feel singled out truly, i was pretty sure i knew what you meant but my detail freak brain had to ask!
    .
    bibaby i second midwest!

  340. Midwest SB says:

    Cleo- I was so tired last night when I posted…sorry for singling you out. You are successful in so many ways… in becoming stronger and more determined than ever…in determining the right arrangement for you…in hosting a fab meet and in making wonderful new friends!

    BiBaby – well said.

    My mistress is drinking margaritas on the beach while I recover from an absolutely incredible weekend full of fireworks, new experiences and holiday cheer!

  341. cleo says:

    midwest: no huhu darlin’ knew you didn’t mean that in any negative way, just was curious HOW you meant it.

    that said, i may not have an SD but i get a LOT more nibbles since i chucked thirty pounds and put up a photo that suggest same…

    funny though, the last photo on my profile, the one i just put up where i’m sorta doing some dance/downward dog thingy? take four years and twenty pounds heavier but you would never guess!

  342. Cecile says:

    Well said, BiBaby.
    You can never really plan on anything, only make outlines.

  343. BiBaby says:

    ok, have to chime in on TOBaby’s lifeplan…

    I got married to a fairly wealthy man when I was 18. Had a daughter with him. Had nice stuff. Didn’t have to work but part time. Followed “The Plan” as outlined by my mother and mother in law.

    One day I came home to my daughter talking about her “little sister” and found out my husband was cheating on me and that this little girl wasn’t an imaginary playmate. A fight ensued and he struck my baby hard enough to leave marks on her face.

    I packed up and went to my mom’s house, leaving everything I owned behind.

    I later learned my mother in law who counseled accepting him as he was, was herself in a cheating, abusive marriage but as she said, the credit card makes up for it. She would just go buy a lot of crap whenever something spilled out, including one family holiday dinner where the mistressess was off work and so a Victoria’s Secret box was returned to their house by UPS with an item DEFINITELY NOT HER SIZE (she was a 12, mistress a 2) opened in front of all of us with ensuing drama. They remain together to this day, having celebrated a 25th silver anniversary.

    They are utterly miserable and deceitful people and I wanted better in my own marriage, regardless of wealth. I became a “kept woman” myself during my divorce as I had no other way to pay the bills…I didn’t work, I was a trophy wife. I ended up not even getting alimony as his family is very well known and I was terrified to drag him through the dirt to get it. He takes good care of my daughter however as over time, he realized the wrongness of what he had done.

    I now have a wonderful, albeit not wealthy husband, one who allows me to dip in the sugar bowl, back into the life I ONCE had, that I love and wish to have again. I’m in school trying to get my OWN head in the game and career to buy those things rather than have them bought for me. DH works hard to buy me things and since joining SA and meeting some decent gentlemen in the past two months, has even taken me out on some “sugar dates” he saved up of his own, which were wonderful and precious to me. I gave him the same sweet self I am as a sugarbaby and he’s seeing a side of me away from the normal married mother drama that we both want to continue.

    My point is, I don’t care what you decide, no plan survives contact with the enemy.

    You may think that you are making all the right choices to not be a SB in your 30’s (as I am) or 40’s/beyond, but other people have a tendancy to F stuff up for you in life as I can testify. You can come down with a terminal illness or chronic complication…..jobs are lost, hubby loses his job…hell, my current SD just lost about 6-figures in business last month and he never thought that was going to happen….SH*T happens as they say.

    Remember that when you are tempted to judge someone else or think that life is totally under your control and poverty or other circumstances are just the result of “poor life decisions” (as an ex-friend once told me). They’re not.

    Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans….

  344. carebear says:

    Ohhhh and nevermind my date (although interesting nonetheless)….I’m anxiously waiting to hear about Lily’s rendezvous!!

  345. carebear says:

    I <3 that College SB has pole grip issues. Then again, I <3 College SB.

    hiiiii adoc!! we miss youuuuu!

    Snaps to Shay…

    Continental – totally understand and agree that usually age difference is compensated with remuneration, thus sugar dating! This particular gentleman is very attractive. Oh and I believe interracial is not hyphenated

  346. Midwest SB says:

    Shay – Congrats

    Cleo – Only because you have put a tremendous amount of effort into this with challenging results at times. I <3 you!

    Lady Intim – Nice to see you again! How is the arrangement/ engagement going?

  347. cleo says:

    shay said “by not flexing whatsoever i could make” and i want to know what that means!

  348. Gemi says:

    ThirdWorld SB – lol on the blog being addictive. that must explain why I’m on it every morning before work….. 😉

    And yes I do believe once a flake always a flake.

    I had a pot from LAST YEAR contact me again. He was endless email guy…. so this time I was like, ok, well if your in my neck of the woods sure, otherwise, no. I spent like 4 months emailing with him last year trying to set up a first meet, I’m not doing that again this time.

  349. @Bela

    Ah, and therein lies the truth. The most addictive aspect of sugar? Naturally, the blog. All the rest is just good material for posts.

  350. Ooooh yikes. An old pot who cancelled on me several times and then poofed just made a new account and winked at me again…

    He was reeeeally cute, but I think his wife kept finding out or he kept getting paranoid that she would or something. I sent him a teas-y email back calling him on being such a flake.

    Once a flake, always a flake? What do you think?

  351. Bela says:

    One date? I apparently can’t sleep without stuff happening. I’m so addicted to this.

    Way to go Gemi!! Hopefully this is just the beginning for you.

    TLG – Mankini? Is that really what I need to see first thing in the morning while I get ready for work?? I’m going to need some very strong coffee :)

    Carebear – How did the date go?

  352. carebear says:

    Ahhhhh I leave to go on one date and the blog explodes! This is why I can’t keep up anymore!!!

  353. Gemi says:

    Shay – Congrats on your new arrangement, I wish the best for you!

    I wish I could find the guys who up the offer when I stand firm on mine… hasn’t happened yet, maybe someday.

    Lady Intim – Yeah I found her post rather arrogant and that never boads wells for anyone involved.

    oh and I never got a chance to say this, but I’m so happy to see the “new” blog posters on here, its nice having new names and people with more experience on the blog to offer advice, suggestions and a new flavor :)

  354. Arcadia SB says:

    I just want to say, yay Mid 20’s representing in the blog! It makes me happy to see others my age here. Though I do appreciate and mean no disrespect to those other contributors who could easily be mistaken for my younger sister though they are 10+ years older than me.

    G’night sugars! I’ve stayed up too late reading and treading carefully around the drama.

    I will say, oh to be 19 again…the mistakes I would so love to make instead of being such a goody-two-shoes

  355. Shay says:

    Oh yeah and I should mention … that stuff nearly everyone (SBs and SDs alike) said about not negotiating your financial terms? I thought it sounded pretty ridic and argued against it – everything is negotiable! come on – but decided to follow that “rule” anyway just to test it … it turns out that just by not flexing whatsoever I could make people double and triple their opening offers. So weird. idk I think it’s kind of mean tbh. I get it, savvy businessmen want the deal etc, but if you are trying to adopt this role of generous benefactor/ wise mentor / personal savior / etc, why the hell start off by trying to manipulate and take advantage of my apparent newness? I guess some people don’t have an “off” button, it’s ok, pretty unexpected though.

    So, THANKS for the tip. It worked out. <3

  356. Shay says:

    Hey all,

    Have been busy with work etc. So if anyone was wondering if I got eaten, chainsawed, or overly discouraged: I didn’t. I talked to some SDs, met some in person or phone calls or video calls, turned down various others: too patronizing, not enough $, too nice, too likely to fall in love with me, too cold/distant, too young, too old, language barriers, poor spelling, too far, too annoying, too childish, too creepy, too extraverted, too introverted, etc.

    I signed up to an arrangement. My SD is of the right age and proximity. It is extremely easy to get along with and interact with him. He is a very precise individual and the terms and boundaries of our arrangement have already been discussed at length. He is more indifferent than I am used to… I think my discomfort with that is not true discomfort but rather awareness of the change which will become less noticeable with time. It feels like the sort of relationship that on paper seems ideal for me, which I have nevertheless carefully sidestepped all my life then wondered about as the path not taken. I guess here is where I find out if the theory holds up to the reality.

    Probably I will learn a decent amount either way. I don’t think this will last more than a couple months as he sort of gave me a choice between a higher price shorter term thing or lower price longer term. I chose immediate gratification over dubious drama-dependent stability.

  357. cleo says:

    (TLG: head out on the high-way)

  358. Moon Patrol says:

    Men are naturally desiring to pursue many women instead of just one. That is the reward for being an SD. In traditional relationships we (men) have one partner at a time or face the music when we cheat.
    I have read and seen how marriage has changed many a young woman’s life when they end up single mothers. Its the myth that marriage is the end-all solution to life’s worries that betrays people.
    This site can be very fun for those lucky enough to succeed in it. Its a matter of being able to deal with whatever comes when it is over that might be hard.
    I prefer to find IRL women and never personally had much success with SA.
    Its a skill that I haven’t mastered yet: filtering out the wrong women and knowing when to say no. It is a thrill meeting someone for the first time. That’s a big plus for Men I think and it gets them addicted. Whether its right or wrong
    I don’t know. It is just something that happens.

  359. cleo says:

    oh god, is that all he thinks he has to offer? icky. i couldn’t even get through the text…

  360. cleo says:

    midwest: why doesn’t it apply to me?

    and the drinking age here is nineteen

  361. Arcadia SB says:

    Oh Gemi, you beat me too it, damnit…

  362. Arcadia SB says:

    random interjection before jumping back into the conversation…I just saw the best profile pic ever on the front page of the main site, he’s profile 319268…the towel totally makes it.

  363. Gemi says:

    TLG : Now listen here, I only wanted pictures of you because….. wait a minute. hmm,….. do do do doooo. nothing to see here folks, moving on.

    Although I find this topic amusing. My eyes were just scarred by a half-naked (excpet for a washcloth) man on SA. I thought the photos weren’t supposed to be all sorts of nude….

    • OCSugarBaby ♥ says:

      @ Gemi- only a wash cloth? Geeze I have my limits only a hand towel or lordy lordy if it needs a bath sheet to cover it! Whoohooo!!!

  364. Midwest SB says:

    PS – I’m over 40 and my SDs knew I was worth the investment…age is only a state of mind, so don’t let that factor into what you can offer. What’s the legal drinking limit in TO?

  365. Michael Alleycat says:

    @WCSD – “I’m just a guy in front of a computer right now…”

    Did you ever see that New Yorker cartoon from many years ago? A dog sitting in front of a computer saying to his buddy “On the internet, nobody knows you are a dog”.

    A rather pithy commentary on the anonymity of the internet, from July 1993. Seriously.

  366. Midwest SB says:

    TOBlondie – I see a lot of focus on your age and not so much addressing how the other sugarbabies receives $10K per month. The ladies I know who have received large “allowances” have done so on a monthly basis…not a p4p basis. They give their SD more than just an evening of companionship and sex. According to SF College Baby, she is receiving that amount AND tuition, expenses, apartment…but NOT on a p4p basis. The blog ladies in larger metropolitan areas are seeking or receiving greater than $3-5K per month. Personally, I have received a respectable allowance, plus gifts, travel, new experiences, networking, mentoring and dear friends for life. You’re limiting yourself on the opportunity of having a wonderful man mentor, network, assist and be a true companion in many intangible and priceless ways and playing with that line in the sand between being a pro and being an SB. You can define a successful arrangement any way you see fit, but it sounds like you don’t want to put too much effort into it. One rule rings true here…you will get out of it what you put into it. (Cleo, this does not apply to you honey).

  367. The Lone Gunman says:

    Re: picture requests.

    It’s funny–I’ve actually had someone want pictures of ME recently.

    Since this is someone who I’ll be seeing after I get back from OZ, I pointed out to her that she could take all the pictures she wants at that time.

    Little does she know I’ll be breaking out the Mankini and Speedo for the shoot–which will probably break her new camera as well!

    Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go practice my wet-lipped, sultry “come-hither, Wench” bedroom eyes look….

    Get your motor running..

    TLG

  368. College SB says:

    NC Heels – Ahh I’m taking pole dancing 1.0 @ the same studio as you? Finished 2 classes in this set, 1 more to go this Wed!! I love it and am making friends with the new bruises on my body. Arm/thigh meet pole – WHACK. I’m having issues with my pole grip though… sometimes I grip it too tight and instead of gracefully swirling around the pole (aka the merry go round) I just get stuck… so not sexy haha.

    And those people who kept looking over at our table @ dinner cracked me up. I wanted to stand up, shimmy a bit, and announce loudly “So, whose house are we going to have the foursome at tonight?!”

  369. Green Eyed Sugar Lady says:

    @ Cleo- thank you! I hope your date goes well, I’d be interested in hearing about it, if there’s anything to share.

    @ TexasSugah: That’s a great point you make about younger people and cognition (even if I found it a little depressing!) And I absolutely agree that we all have our own perspectives and experiences we bring here, and ideally it’s a great place to learn when we listen to one another.

    • OCSugarBaby ♥ says:

      @ Stephan – Love you!!!! xxoo Thank you! You are truly the Blog King of Kings :)
      @ Gemi– Picture Requests are funny. I have always wanted to reply back: Ok please reply with your valid Amex, Visa or Master Card with the expiration date. Your card will be charged $5k for the first 3 pictures sent (each) and the 4th one is your special gift from me in appreciation for not EVER asking me for more.

      @ SD Guru – You know I love you too :)

      @ TorontoBlondie– Ahh the AGE old question. “People say that age is just a state of mind. I say it’s more about the state of your body”
      @ GreenEyed Sugar Lady – Maybe we can be Sugar Mamma’s together and find a two-fer situation. hahahaha

  370. ARCTIC SD says:

    adoc – nice to hear from you. With the new part time job, does that mean you cannot do the Far East trip anymore?

  371. adoc says:

    @Lisa: why give up? why not go into something different? I have just been given a part-time marketing/teaching job in the new year and Im still in school. On paper i have no degree and some experience in admin/retail/healthcare. nothing fancy! Knock on some doors :) u never know what may come up! OR what about going to college? even community college (i dont really know the american system very well). Best of luck x

  372. TexaSugah says:

    *. Grr iPad… Symposia.

  373. TexaSugah says:

    Howdy y’all!

    There’s quite a bit here. I would like to defend TObaby, even though I was a wee bit offended.

    She is, most likely, a product of her environment and the media. The older ones of us, or history buffs, have an appreciation of the role a mistress which has morphed into the sugar baby. Today’s culture glorifies the quick fix. Tv shows like Bad Girls glorify bad behavior. Men are seen as ATMs and even in popular music.

    If we think about the physiological changes that take place in the actual structure of the brain which might effect cognition. Younger people are being raised with technology that has them thinking in ways we can’t. I’m talking about the way they process information. All of this was fodder for quite a few symposium throughout my last degree.

    So beyond the youth lack of experience there are other things at play.

    @continental. I read that twice… Sweetie I’m sure nothing is wrong with you.

    On the topic of age… I’ve had my share. The pot that I was a miffed with turned out to be a doll. We talked on the phone. Great guy. He’s freaked out by my age. I’m 36 and he’s 57. What’s interesting is that I understood his point In my experiences with race. He so appreciated that I would share that with him. A few weeks ago my matchmaker found someone I was attracted to. He was also concerned a out the age. He’s 44. So much so he declined to meet.

    And yes, if the right man came along.. I’d date. But it’s hard to beat sugar.

    @guru. Hear hear. Everyone’s sugar experience is unique. Not only in the realm of allowance but virtually every aspect. And we should respect each other and listen but not talk down to fellow sugars. Sugars with more time on the planet have a different view of things than a younger one. My view of the bowl as a chocolate sugar is different from a Latina. But what brings us together is a lifestyle.

    In many cases the blog is the only place to share.

  374. Lisa says:

    Thanks Stephan

  375. stephan says:

    @ Lisa: Your email address has been delivered to Carebear :)

  376. cleo says:

    green eyed sugar lady: thank you, that’s what i wanted to say only articulate, clear and non defensive.

    irony: i have a sugar date with a younger sugar

  377. Green Eyed Sugar Lady says:

    I’m a little late to the party, but I wanted to chime in anyhow…

    I notice the visitor tracking thing has changed to what visitors “liked”, rather than where they are from, when they logged in, etc. I was feeling a little creeped out about that too, and I give thanks to the blog gods for listening… I notice they’ve also done when there’s been negative comments about the photo headers. I appreciate that.

    @ Torontoblondie: I’m over 40 and would like to respond to your comments. I remember when I was in my 20’s I thought 30 was old, and 40 downright ancient. So in that sense I understand where you are coming from. But, like others have said, perspectives change as we get older. When I was in my teens and early 20’s I was pretty, mature for my age, good at conversation, open minded in the bedroom…. and I had youth as well. All good things.

    Now, I have refined all of the above (including the beauty) and added life experience to the mix. I’ve been married… so I understand what it’s like. I can apply that understanding to a married SD and their situation. I have run a business. Some SD’s may like to talk about their business, and I can follow along with understanding, and participate intelligently in the conversations. I’ve fallen on my face and picked myself back up a number of times. Some of this has come from dealing with life plans when they don’t work out. Right now I am also in school as I am switching careers. It’s a little corny, but there is something to be said for the wisdom that comes from life experience, and what that can offer a relationship.

    When out in public together, yes, there is still a age difference, but it isn’t quite as dramatic, and should the situation arise I can easily be introduced as some sort of business associate and that would be totally believable.

    As for looks… I do just fine in that department. I’ve got a few genetic blessings (gravity has been very much on my side), taking good care of myself helps with the rest. I can easily pass for younger than my true age, but I rather enjoy revealing my age because I love surprising them. :)

    I’m not saying one is better than the other… I know that there are a great number of SD’s who really want a sweet young girl, and I don’t take that personally at all- to each their own- however, I also know there are some men who have a preference for a more mature woman, and what she may offer. I also know I’m really generalizing here. :) I still prefer men older than myself for sugar dating, the only disadvantage I see is it can narrow the dating pool somewhat. It is no reflection on worth however.

    On the age difference thing in general, age-gap dating in becoming at least somewhat more acceptable. I date older men in sugar relationships, and younger for other and enjoy both for different reasons. I don’t date my age group at this point in my life because I’m not looking for anything serious or commitment oriented, so it works pretty well. Maybe, if I’m lucky, I’ll be a SugarMomma in 15-20 years. :)

  378. Gemi says:

    night Cleo!

    I’m jealous of all the girls with hot cocoa. Mmm. The wind is so strong (and cold) here tonight!

    Well ladies (and gents) I do think I am getting a feel for what I like and do not like in so much as SD behavior and how they handle the whole arrangement process. Business transaction = no thank you. Needy clingy guys = no thank you. You have your life and I have mine but when together… Shazam!! = yes please. :) Its all a learning experience, and I’m so glad I have my blog friends to share it with!!

  379. cleo says:

    i say “well, i would have to be deeply in trust with someone before i would give them power over my naked image. i’m not saying i would never do it”

    or the like.

    ok out for the night

  380. Bela says:

    Very good Gemi!!!

  381. Gemi says:

    Hmm I’m going to jump in feet-first into the roiling waters of the sugar blog:

    No I’m not. I thought better of it.

    Too much drama for one day. Can’t deal with it here too.

    One of my pots (we’ve met once and heading into “decision-making” date 2) is pressuring me to send him “skimpy clothing” photos of myself to him. Its like daily. And its ANNOYING. Normally I have no problem sending bikini pics or even lingerie pics to guys I like but not when i’m being ordered too! I think I’m going to send him a txt next time he mentions it and just say that I only send those kind of photos to my SD. And then leave it at that. What do you all think?

  382. Bela says:

    Ohh Texas, hot cocoa!!! That’s what I’m missing with my cocktail….brb

  383. Bela says:

    At 19, I had a very clear plan. While I never (and still don’t) had the “I want to be married with kids before I’m 30” dream, I had very particular career goals. While I don’t regret having those plans, I am SO glad they didn’t go the way I expected.

    My career is more fulfilling, I have fantastic friends, and my life gives me more pleasure than I hoped!

    Like you Toronto, I also come from a very privileged family and background, I went to college to be independent. While I can support myself with my career, I am still limited (as I should be since I’m not even 30 yet.) I search for an SD who will open doors to experiences that I know I want out of life.

    Do I see myself settling down to raise a family? Yes, but why rush it? To quote a predictable, but still accurate chick flick, “Having a child is like getting a tattoo on your face. You kind of want to be fully committed.? Having children means I no longer come first in my life. While I look forward to that chapter in my life, my freedom and current experiences are going to prepare me for raising strong, independent children who will look at their mother and admire the fact that for a while, she lived by her own rules and didn’t care what society thought of her.

    Eh who am I kidding? I’ll still be that way…just will a Baby Bjorn or something.

  384. TexaSugah says:

    WTH happened!?!

    I left for some hot cocoa and this… Gotta read brb

  385. ContinentalTravel says:

    @carebear:

    When you received stares, it’s probably the obvious gap in attractiveness. A man can look young, but still unattractive. (I’m one prime example.) His nervousness can also attract stares, as people will instantly say “he’s out of her league — there’s something fishy here.” To make matters worse, if you’re clearly dressed to impress, to the level of “showing what you got”, while he doesn’t seem to make a huge effort, the contrast naturally draws attention.

    I think most people will know that money/wealth helps bridge the gap in attractiveness when they see an unusual couple. Don’t worry too much about people staring. People stare on everything. Even fairly common inter-racial relationships get stared at quite often. (i.e. white man/asian women)

  386. ARCTIC SD says:

    Cleo – you can always mentor me. I am never too old to be mentored.

  387. WCSD says:

    Lisa – There was no disrespect at all, and I understood the support. And hell, don’t ever call me elite…I’m far from it. I’m just a guy in front of a computer right now…

  388. Lisa says:

    Sorry WCSD but I was actually trying to support your statement but I guess my communication skills are not up to par for the elite crowd, sorry. :(

    That’s great advice Cleo :)

  389. ARCTIC SD says:

    WCSD – Cleo : Act on what is important to you now…..I guess that is what TOblondie is trying to do. She see another lady on another site getting 10k a month and she wants to follow that act. Basically her question is………what advice can she get to have the same 10K i.e. once you take out the rest of the other clutter.

    Of course she may not realise that the other blondbaby may be stretching it a bit plus the confusion of p4p and allowance.

  390. cleo says:

    wcsd: that’s for damn sure!

  391. cleo says:

    WCSD: well said; that’s one thing i wish i had known, that it’s okay to change your plans and let your old ideas go or maybe that i knew to let my old ideas of who i actually was go and instead watch my behaviour to see who i truly am…

    having a hard time putting that into words… i’d like to have known the difference between thinking i had an open mind and actually opening it!

    anyway i have several friends who are under 25, all my teenaged “little brothers/sisters” have grown past 20 now so i have no more teens to mentor, need some new ones. anyway one of the hardest things with them it to not be amused by their priorities and the things they consider hard. one of the hardest things for them is to believe that black and white will get steadily more grey. i think the one thing i appreciate about torblondie’s comment is this discussion :) i’m so grateful to have friends from 20-80 in my life because it really helps me keep my current stage in perspective.

    but you’re right; the things that were important to me then were important to me and some of them still are. i’m often surprised by which ones and i never could have predicted it if asked!

  392. WCSD says:

    Cleo – Exactly! And you wouldn’t be who you are today if you had listened to any of it…

  393. cleo says:

    Lisa: TELL ME ABOUT IT! holy crap i want to go back and whisper in my young know it all self’s ear and tell her to chill out and stop being so judgemental and adopt a wait and see attitude and to watch how people treat her instead of how they look and to never date anyone who makes you feel like less than and only to choose the friends who make you want to be more and to WORK OUT MORE and take your damn calcium and please god get some good earplugs for all those damn metallica concerts because tinnitis really sucks and talk less and listen more and HONEY STOP DATING BROKE LOSERS and OH MY GOD STOP WEARING THOSE CLOTHES and start making better eating habits and skip a bunch of the drugs cigarettes and do please run off to asia like you meant to and and and

    *smiles* but i wouldn’t have heard a word of it you know…?

  394. WCSD says:

    Lisa – I don’t know if I agree with you. I’ve had plans, many of them, and they will sometimes require other people’s participation (think of a business plan, they require investors, customers willing to buy your product, etc.) but the key to me is that the plan is there to focus where I want to go today…and I am flexible in knowing that I may need to create a whole new plan tomorrow when something changes (not if….but when).

    The problem with hindsight, and telling TOBaby that things that are important today to her, won’t be tomorrow…is that it really doesn’t matter. If it is important to you today, it IS important. You should act on the important things in your life. Just have an open mind and be willing to evaluate what is important to you as your priorities change, and then adjust your plan to accomodate those new important items.

  395. cleo says:

    WCSD: if you had told me ten years ago that i’d make my living TOUCHING people and helping them get their lives on track? that i would be on TELEVISION discussing better orgasms??? i would have laughed my head off at the impossibility.

    i would have been utterly certain someone was pulling my leg!
    .
    Arctic: i think WCSD has it right, there wasn’t really a question. i mean I can get her a job at an escort agency where the courtesan rate is 1200/night but i wouldn’t expect that for a sugar date. i would expect more for an allowance though. i’m not sure i put that well.

    every situation is unique of course but for me really she hasn’t asked anything i can answer beyond a gentle defense of those of us closer to 40 than 20. :)

  396. Lisa says:

    WCSD I was one of those who had my life planned out too, I needed to be married by this time, have children by this time, etc, I was in a rush and thought I knew what I wanted but things don’t always work out the way we plan and we can’t always go back and change things to the way they were before. Setting goals that require other people’s participation (getting married, having children) is setting oneself up to be disappointed when those goals are reached in a set amount of time.

    Torontoblondie will probably look at life different if a few years as I know some things that were important or I felt I couldn’t live without when I was 20 something aren’t important now and many of hte things I thought were a waste of time back then I wish i’d have done now.

  397. ARCTIC SD says:

    TOBlondie – WCSD has clarified your “young” defination very well and your plan is well thought of but I would not look that far out at 19. There are lots of things to do, places to see and people to meet.

    As for the lack of response from the other SBs, I reckon the main reason is that your type of arrangement (p4p – pay for play) is not in the realm of the majority of the esteemed SB sisters on this blog.

    Their goal is mainly to seek a mutual beneficial arrangement on a prolong basis where an SD will provide a reliable monthly assistance to their SB and thats is the direction they are striving for.

    Trust this will enable you to understand why it is hard for them to give you any advice.

  398. WCSD says:

    Lisa – I’m not even saying that people want to change what has happened in the past (some do, as in your case, some don’t), but I don’t know anyone who is living their lives exactly to a plan that they created more than 3 years back. Really, beyond that timeframe, there are too many variables to accurately predict how life is going to go to be able to live to that plan.

  399. Lisa says:

    well said WCSD everyone changes as they get older. Raised in a strict religous household, I spent my years as a young woman persuing marriage and family and made no real plans for the future (well actually I was raised with “the world is ending soon” philosphy thanks to my mom). I was made to feel guilty about sex so I married at 22, had a child 3 years later, he split a month before out child was born and I ended up a single mother at 25. I spent the next 14 years looking for a continuation, a new man to get married again and have another child, it never happened and I ended up wasting some of my best years. Now i’m somewhat indenpendent, love being on my own, but really need a sugar boost to make my life more fun and secure, but I am sorry I spent my younger years playing suzy homemaker to someone who didnt’ appreciate it. If I could relive my life, I would have spent my younger years enjoying myself, preparing for the future rather than being so serious and deadset on finding a man to live happily ever after with, it doesn’t always happen

  400. WCSD says:

    TorontoBlondie – So, you have a plan and a goal…good for you. All of us, at 19 had one as well, and I can guarantee you, that all of our plans changed, and so will yours. Not meaning that you’ll be a SB for life, or anything like that….but if it were possible to have our whole life laid out and planned at 19 (or 29, of 39, 49, 59….) without things changing, well then you really aren’t living. Life is a journey, not a goal to be reached.

    As for your definition of ‘young’….well that all comes down to perspective. Young to a 60 year old, is very different than ‘young’ to a 35 year old. It is just a word, there is no age limits in the sugar world, as there are no age limits elsewhere in the world.

    I’m also not sure what you are looking for a response to. Was there a question in your first post? Was it just whether people are finding SDs? (If so, the answer would be yes….people find them, some faster than others, some with more success than others). Maybe I’m just getting over my jetlag and missed it, but if you have a clearer question to ask, I’d be happy to chime in…

    • SD Guru says:

      @TorontoBlondie

      Wow, how many people can you offend in one post without even realizing it?? For those who are trigger happy and itching to respond, please remember she’s only 19.

      @Michael
      SD Guru – I’ll talk to you around Valentine’s Day. Winner gets bought a beer. Deal?

      Deal! Since I know you’re not cheap, I’ll even throw in a steak dinner. 😆

      @OC
      We love talking about it, so get use to it!… SD Guru is still blinded from my sending him a picture of my boobies so he won’t even be able to read my SASS

      Nah, I’m just allergic to blog drama and prefer not to see the same old arguments over and over again. I did have my shades on when I saw your boob pic!! 😎

  401. Lisa says:

    OC or Stephan, please send my email to carebear, thanks

  402. torontoblondie says:

    Don’t think I really got a solid response from anyone just a lot of mixed responses, and yes I am not considering to go to a monthly amount as men seem very unstable in being available, my thoughts is if they want to walk in on my life once a month go see a hooker I want a friend and a dependant.

    as for the age category… I’m pretty sure right on the FRONT page of SEEKINGARRANGEMENT the site says

    SUGAR BABIES: Attractive, ambitious & young. Sugar Babes are college students, aspiring actresses or someone just starting out. You seek a generous Benefactor to pamper, mentor and take care of you — perhaps to help you financially?

    note the young part. I’m on here to help my schooling as I can not support a full time job while in school, as once I complete my degree and get my job why would i do this? I can work for the things I need, doing this for life is just gross in my mind. No offence but by the time I am 30 I will be married and have kids, I have no problem finding men from wealthy backgrounds that fall in love with me the fact is I’m not going to ask someone I’m in a relationship to pay for my schooling etc etc …I actually come from a very good back ground but my mother was screwed out of her fathers will resulting in her sister now being a millionaire without working a day in her life. I could never see myself doing this above the age of 24 as I believe in settling down and having children, something I know my children would not want their mother doing.

    Just my 2 cents though.

  403. SD TWICE says:

    “All SD’s To Me Are Just Walking ATM’s!”

    Before the end of the second line of her first email, you knew everything about this woman you needed to know. What followed was completely obvious. But how many SDs are educated yet to see that? Especially here on SA where there are plenty of beginners.

  404. Michael Alleycat says:

    @SD Guru – “What’s your sugar reality?”

    My reality is that the interview process is over, and we have a new #1! Breakfast tomorrow to finalize the details, and we are off to the races!

    SD Guru – I’ll talk to you around Valentine’s Day. Winner gets bought a beer. Deal?

  405. Bela says:

    hmmm too soon to determine my reality. Ask me again next month 😉

  406. Michael Alleycat says:

    ooops – “provide an offer of assistance”

  407. Michael Alleycat says:

    @OC – “How can someone who states they make 150K ish range offer 3-5k per month. Just an economic conundrum. Not possible.”

    For many SDs, this is not the point. The point is that if there is a good size asset base, particularly in a good market, the $ are not an issue. I can earn $150k at a job, pay $4k / month, and not have an issue if the market is doing well. That’s assuming I even have a job :-)

    • OCSugarBaby ♥ says:

      @ Michael Big Daddy Cat- Thanks, good info. But please consider substituting “pay” for the words “offer an allowance”
      You are not the norm but an exceptional $ugar xxoo ~OC

    • OCSugarBaby ♥ says:

      @ cleo, *snicker back * SD Guru is still blinded from my sending him a picture of my boobies so he won’t even be able to read my SASS 😉

  408. Nico says:

    @ Cleo – I don’t have your addy. Naples is where I lived before moving back to CO…February seems like the perfect time of the winter to visit *grin* I don’t have dates yet although thinking the beginning part of the month 1st – 15th….something like that. I have friends on the west and east coast to visit….not to mention, I need to renew my registration *wink* Do YOU have dates yet??

    While the blog gods and goddesses are out exchanging e-mails….would you mind sharing mine with Cleo :) THANK YOU!!

  409. cleo says:

    nico: seriously??? do you have dates? do you have my email?

    • SD Guru says:

      “Realities in the Sugar World”

      I’d prefer not to see another full blown holy war on the blog over the topic of allowance like what happened a few blog topics ago. Rather, I hope everyone understands that there are different “realities” in the sugar world based on each person’s values and experiences.

      One person’s reality may be another person’s fantasy, and vice versa. It’s only natural to view other people’s reality with disdain and skepticism. But neither should assume the other’s reality doesn’t exist just because it’s different from their own.

      Whether sugar relationships exist in various allowance ranges depends on your reality. If a SB’s reality is that 5-10k/month is “average” and she has actual experiences to back it up, then that’s her reality. Her reality may not be shared by other SD/SB’s but that doesn’t matter.

      By the same token, if a SD’s reality is such that he can have good experiences at 250-500/meet and he has actual experiences to back it up, then that’s his reality. His reality may not be shared by other SD/SB’s but that doesn’t matter either.

      One may think the other lives in a fantasy world and that’s ok. But there is no need to debate ad nauseum about what’s real for that person.

      What’s your sugar reality?

  410. Michael Alleycat says:

    @SD Guru said – “By the way, I thought the type of business you and OMFG SB got into was real estate, not Amazon.”

    We had talked about it, but we could not figure out a way where she added value to the business and the real estate transactions. And I wasn’t about to give her money just because she was cute, smart, funny and great in bed. Oh wait …

  411. Nico says:

    @ Cleo….I’ll be in Naples in February too. I need to check on my house and visiting friends!! OMG…we’ll have to stay in touch!! Would love to finally meet 😀

  412. cleo says:

    third world: i know right??

  413. Third World SB says:

    Ew, that new live feed feature that shows what city you are posting from is NASTY. I was hesitant to even say what country I am in, and here’s SA telling everyone what city and state I’m in, not to mention what browser and OS I am using?

    Geesh…

  414. cleo says:

    man, i know what i mean… i swear i do! lol

  415. cleo says:

    michael i don’t mean that you are looking for a wife. i get the sense that you’re looking for a consort or a ‘companion’ of a sexual nature. one of those long term things where you wake up one morning adn realize that you’ve been ‘dating’ for years.

    i just wonder sometimes, when i read your posts, if you aren’t actually looking for a wife but don’t know it. i wonder if some of the girls here are looking for husbands too btw i’m not singling you out :)

    my most successful friends with benefits we blurred the ‘friend’ lines and it ended messy. i’m more inclined to have boundaries now for a while but i can understand why you don’t

  416. Michael Alleycat says:

    @Cleo – absolutely, I’m a legs, bum and tits kinda guy.

    Seriously tho, I agree, I am looking for something a whole lot more than getting laid on a regular basis by a hottie & with no complications (though that does have it’s own attractions). But I am also looking for a whole lot less than a gf or wife. As I said before, it’s s mix of NSA sex of a booty call, the bond of a friendship, and the genuine affection that comes with a relationship.

    I’m all about the connection. Like all of us, it is not that difficult to go and get laid, thats not what I’m looking for. But yep, looking for the connection.

    And if I do want more, is that a problem? Hands up those who would walk away from a great relationship, whether sugar or IRL? Hmmm, thought so. Can’t see many hands from here.

    Back to the surf….

  417. cleo says:

    torontoblondie: as a 40 year old woman i think you might want to consider that youth offers much like smooth skin and lack of cellulite but that with age comes wisdom and experience and relaxation of hrm… hard to put it… boundaries/expectations/something anyway there’s men out there who think that a woman in her 40s is worth far more than one in her teens…. and others who are exactly the opposite.

    please don’t hold youth up as superior; it’s just youth, different but not superior
    .
    NC Heels: i too have been left poorer so many times that i WILL NOT date a man who is broke or struggling with debt. i simply can’t afford it.

    as for age difference i had a bartender assume my sugar was my daddy once. i felt bad for him. i am very youthful looking/dressing/excited for my age (she carded me and i was THIRTY EIGHT) and he just looks about as old as he is so 15 looked like 30 years…

    we just laughed.

    it’s no one’s business, three quarters of the meals i have in restaurants aren’t dates why assume anyone is on a date unless they’re macking on each other?

  418. cleo says:

    ack forgot to refresh!

  419. cleo says:

    michael i think you’re looking for a lot more than that; i think you like the quick start of sugar but i have a feeling you’re looking for one with serious ‘legs’

  420. Sara says:

    @ OC – thanks doll, much appreciated.

  421. Sara says:

    Dearest Blog Gods/Godesses – I know Stephan tried to email me Gemi’s email address but he accidentally sent mine instead, would you mind trying again?

  422. carebear says:

    NC Heels – I have my own pole! haha you can borrow it whenever you’re north of the mason dixon line hahaha

    or maybe when i’m home for the holidays, i can have everyone over at the rents house for a private session….that will go over reallllll well.

    wish we could have gone with you, so jealous! next time!!

  423. SD TWICE says:

    Other sources beyond my own actual arrangements (actual not wished for, assumed, invented, postulated, hand waved into theoretical existence…)

    Extensive discussions with countless SBs about their experiences in the course of my searches.

    Reading this very blog and seeing what actually happens over long periods of time to people with various methods and strategies.

  424. Sara says:

    P.S. I just had a wonderful little surprise this afternoon. I had mentioned earlier a POT who I liked, but lived in a different state, and couldn’t travel too much because of his kids, so he would be a #2 or #3 (basically someone I saw occassionally but nothing regular). He wanted to give me a holiday gift, even though we couldn’t have a first meet until January. So he got me some lovely perfume. AND even better, just so I would feel comfortable, he didn’t make me to give him my address he paid for it over the phone at a department store near by and told me to go pick up “a surprise” at the perfume counter. lol

    So any ladies in the Ohio/Chicago/midwest area – you should defiantly snag him up, he is a darling!

  425. Sara says:

    @ Carebear/Cecile/SD Twice/everyone else involved in this discussion – I agree with you guys 100% I don’t like getting a price per date period. It seems so impersonal and comes with all these strings attached (the opposite of NSA) lol. I feel if you re paying me for your time, it better be worth your while, and than I wonder what exactly is “worth your while”. I prefer an allowance because it represents an understanding. You help me out in life, because you enjoy my company, NOT you enjoy my company by helping me out in life.

  426. carebear says:

    You’re right, I should have totally sold myself out for 500 bucks and losing dignity and self worth rather than gaining the reputation of the ‘CANCELORRR’ dun dun dunnnnn

  427. @SD TWICE

    It’s not about what is necessary, it’s about what is fun. There is a very tangible difference between the minimum and the desired allowance range.

    Likewise, there is a pretty tangible difference between laying there like a corpse while your SD gets his rocks off and enthusiastically participating in a fantastic sexual encounter. It’s not about what is necessary, it’s about what is fun.

  428. Midwest SB says:

    Toblondie – if you feel you need that kind of allowance, perhaps you should stop calculating your per date worth and switch to a monthly allowance for an ongoing arrangement where you both benefit. You do face a huge disadvantage in the TO market, which you recognize. Lastly, most US metro markets can command higher allowances bc of the cost of living.

    SD Twice – agreed that including how she can make an SDs life better is just good marketing. I had statements like “turn work into whimsy” and “create an oasis” that were demonstrative of my awareness of mutually beneficial. BTW – it would be helpful if you expanded tour points of reference beyond NYTimes.

  429. If a SD is expecting a sexual relationship, I would never consider less than $500 for a dinner date, or $1000 for an overnight date. I’m not an escort for a lot of reasons we’ve listed during our many “what is the difference between an escort and a SB” discussions, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t think my time has worth.

    I used to escort (verrrrry briefly… wasn’t my thing), and I used to make 300/hr. And I wasn’t even really marketing myself as a high-class escort, this was just my feeble attempts at exploring my enjoyment of sex with older men and its correlation to my need for cash. I’m not saying that my allowance needs to even approach that rate, and I much prefer to spend an entire evening with someone to trying to keep dates short, but I’m pretty busy and don’t want to go on more than one or two dates a week. At <$500, it's just not worth my time, you know?

    And sure, I'm certain there are SB's out there who feel like $250 IS worth their time. Working a minimum-wage job full-time pays about that much per week after taxes. So if a college student only needs money for food, clothes, and other small expenses, that probably would seem totally worth it to her. Good for her if it's working for her. She can see someone once a week and not have to work a retail or food-service job and focus on her studies.

    My point, which I've made earlier also, is that what I enjoy about being with SD's is that I want to be with men who LOVE to spoil me and derive joy from making me happy. If someone is trying to offer me a "minimum market rate" for a date, this is obviously not the case. Doesn't work for me. Sure, you CAN find someone else to date you once a week for $1200 a month, and go right ahead.

    I recently had someone offer me the "market rate" allowance for their country, and he reminded me that I should expect less here for allowance than when I am in America (I told him what my allowance was in US arrangements). I politely told him that my expenses in this country were not lower than my expenses in America, explained why, and asked him if he would please match the allowance that I'd had in previous arrangements.

    His response? "No problem. I just want you to be happy when you are with me." That's the only kind of attitude I want to see in a SD.

  430. SD TWICE says:

    Its not an argument. Its a fact, backed up by an independently written article from a relatively credible source linked by SA as reference, and more importantly based upon extensive personal experience past, present and ongoing.

    Its not based on cancelled dates, for example.

  431. NC Heels says:

    @carebear

    I have a job and all but this discussion is so much more interesting… The pole dancing class was pretty awesome…I felt it was easy to pick up. That should impress an SD! Well, if he wants to rent a pressurized pole… LOL

    I have no problem making you-know-who look good so middle aged couples can point and stare…no self-consciousness about that one!

  432. Cecile says:

    True. I think that if I set the ‘price’, I’d be worried that they thought I wasn’t worth what I’d said I was. I’d rather allow them to set what they feel comfortable giving after having met me. From there I can decided whether or not it’s interesting to me.

  433. carebear says:

    And pleeeeeease do some other reading than that friggin article you keep referencing. You’re quoting the same source on several different arguements and its no longer working in your favor.

    May I suggest, Brandon Wade’s book, linked through my name…..you could SERIOUSLY find some of the informtion useful.

  434. carebear says:

    PS I can’t imagine accepting 250-500 per date as SD TWICE suggested…you must find yourself some real winners not finding it necessary to even offer “that much”.

    Had a date scheduled last night and canceled because he had the nerve to make a similar (yet much higher) offer and is now getting cut off. Seriously guys, THINK! Google vip escort services….ones in NYC charge 1500-2000/hr with day rates of 5k+!!!

    We get it, 1000’s a month is a lot to dish out. But lowballing a woman is a very nonchauvinistic thing to do, and this site was established in contrary to “new age” principles! Treat your SB’s like queens (respect, charm, and candor…not necessarily pamper, spoil and praise), and be treated like a king in return!

    If ya can’t swim, stay out of the pool.

    Note: I’m not suggesting I’m an escort and would accept any of that crap. Quite the opposite, and NEVER willing to settle for less.

  435. SD TWICE says:

    One thought to ponder. Its been posted that allowance and quality are poorly correlated. That’s also confirmed in the NYTimes Article.

    If you mixed quality, allowance and stability/longevity of the arrangement, I think there would be pretty good correlation.

    • SD Guru says:

      @NYC SB
      mexico and tequila volleyball here i come! PSYCHED!

      Have a great time and take lots of pics, but don’t end up in one of those girls gone wide videos!! 😛

      @Lady Intim
      I don’t want a JOB. Jobs suck and lead nowhere. I want an amazing, exciting, infinitely awesome, profitable career where I make lots and lots of cash money.

      Don’t we all want that, but how many people can actually pull it off? The reality is that most people have a job to pay their bills.

      And as far as AZ Michael goes, I still can’t afford his allowance…but I’m working on it. Guru, you should remember this.

      Yeah, I do remember he was pretty expensive, and picky too! 😛

      @Michael Tolstoy

      Thanks for the detailed explanation. Most people, married or single, choose sugar relationship because it doesn’t have the baggage of a conventional relationship. However, your approach with a “soft” boundary and mixing personal and sugar life is more likely to lead to the kind of drama that you’re trying to avoid. By the way, I thought the type of business you and OMFG SB got into was real estate, not Amazon.

      @Lily
      Sure, some may actually prefer older men regardless of sugar, as WCSD likes to suggest, but that’s rare.

      Actually, that’s not as rare as you think. As Michael said, the sugar just makes it that much easier.

      @Carebear
      I think anything up to 20 years difference isn’t much to flinch at… Why is it that we’re still getting stares?

      Age difference of 10-15 years is not unusual, but at 20+ years it can become noticeable. As to why people stare, there could be other factors beside age difference. For example, it could be the contrast of how the two of you are dressed, or an overt display of affection. The less attention you draw to yourself the more likely you’ll avoid the stares.

      Seriously guys, THINK! Google vip escort services….ones in NYC charge 1500-2000/hr with day rates of 5k+!!!

      I’m sure you’re aware that escorts can come in all price ranges. Besides, paying the advertised price is like paying sticker for a car. And we all know most people don’t pay the sticker price! :)

      @SD TWICE
      What are some of your favorite ME ME ME encounters?

      Check out this post in my blog titled “All SD’s to me are just walking ATM’s!!

      I was thinking a little earlier to write some post on perspective as to what these allowances represent in practical terms. Also what sort of level an SB needs to be to exceed these numbers significantly with success and longevity in the arrangement.

      Please write it up, I’m sure it will be an interesting read!

      Its been posted that allowance and quality are poorly correlated…

      Here’s a post I wrote about that topic in August as well as this post in my blog.

      @TorontoBlondie

      a majority of the men I have been meeting think the 1000 dollars I want for one date is steep… I want only one guy when hookers don’t mind having a bunch of clients…. Im actually currently dating more than one sugar daddy!

      Is it just me or is the inconsistency that obvious? In sugar, as in life, you don’t get what you think you’re worth or deserve, you get what you negotiate. If you’re dating multiple SD’s but most men you meet think 1k per meet is steep, then does that mean you’re accepting less from your SD’s?

      I’m behind on my rent and I haven’t paid a cent of my schooling for this year

      It’s been said on the blog that a SB should avoid coming across as being desperate because she runs the risk of turning off pot SD’s or can be prone to being taken advantage of. Perhaps your experience so far in the sugar world is because of it? But then again you’re only 19…

      I hope other SD/SB’s from TO on the blog will give you more specific advice. Good luck!

  436. Cecile says:

    I’m with SD TWICE on this one. Expecting 1,000 per date seems a little demanding.
    But I’m new to this, so my opinion might not be the norm.

    A man offered me 1,000 for a date last week, and I was thrilled, but I never would have been able to ask for that much.

    But this is just me, I’m not 100% comfortable discussing money in the first place, which is why I would never allow myself to completely rely on sugar dating, I’d rather let it be a happy surprise bonus to my income.

  437. carebear says:

    NC Heels….speaking of which….the 3 people at the table next to us at dinner got intensely worse after you left haha but we continued being loud and obnoxious and not caring :) Maybe it was your exit discussion about pole dancing classes 😀 God I love making strangers uncomfortable.

  438. NC Heels says:

    @carebear
    I think that while age difference shouldn’t shock anymore, people still find it intriguing and some people find it inappropriate. It’s not their business, but do people really mind their business anyway?

    Having dated older men most of my adult life, I can say the staring does not stop. I am an introvert and a private person, so I get that self-conscious anxiety when I know I’m being watched, probably disapprovingly. I have learned to live with it over time, but I am not always comfortable. Basically, at 10-15 years plus, depending on the way you both look together/ carry yourselves, the staring seems to be omnipresent. I think that a attractive young woman on the arms of a man 15+ years her senior will always command attention…they probably wonder how he got her!

    I think the idea of meeting a few towns over is a good one- go somewhere where you won’t see your neighbors and everyone from work and just stick it to the prying eyeballs…

  439. SD TWICE says:

    As I posted over a week or so ago, it really isn’t necessary to offer even as much as $500 for a date with an interesting woman. $300-400 is a common range in expensive areas, 250-300 in less expensive areas. These numbers can be lower for solid long term arrangements.

    I was thinking a little earlier to write some post on perspective as to what these allowances represent in practical terms. Also what sort of level an SB needs to be to exceed these numbers significantly with success and longevity in the arrangement.

  440. NC Heels says:

    @ Lisa
    “TexaSugah , I feel that modern dating really offers a woman nothing. what’s the point? If I want to go out with someone and pay half, etc I can do that with a friend or even a coworker. ”

    I completely agree with you and have to chime in on your comment. I’ve done my share of modern dating. I’ve even been a mistress to a man in an almost non-sugar way, and I came to resent all of that so much. He would say he “almost came to pick me up” for a business trip to Montreal, but he never really did anything for me. He would complain about having to spend $100 for a hotel. This sexual aspect to this relationship fell of soon after, but he has remained a friend.

    Most IRL dates will be nice enough to get you dinner and maybe a movie or show a few times, but then you have to split everything, even when they are making 60k to 100k and you are making 30k. I began feeling annoyed when some guys I dated actually made my financial picture worse…

  441. torontoblondie says:

    heyy

    I wrote this on another blog but I think it might be closed now or b/c its not the newest one no one replied :p

    this is what I wrote, if anyone could help me out with some advice I would really appreciate it 😀

    Hey sugar babiess *kisses*

    I was wondering if anyone else is finding it hard to find a reliable sugar daddy that is GENEROUS, a majority of the men I have been meeting think the 1000 dollars I want for one date is steep (evening together – longer date) …. I’m 19 blond tall thin told and not ugly looking by any means as well I’m in university, I have a great personality and over 1000 hour of volunteer work!

    And then I look and see 40 yearold women asking for the same amount I want and it really hurts me as if I’m not worth the same at least :S :S

    I think my problem is that Toronto has a HUGE sex industry so the men here assume that sugar babies should cost less then hookers… ummm sorry but I want only one guy when hookers don’t mind having a bunch of clients…. :S

    Im actually currently dating more than one sugar daddy! And I HATE it but with out it I won’t be able to pay my rent! Does Any sugar babies have an advice for me?

    Babyblond I saw in another blog you have a gentleman spending 10,000 a month on you! WOW, how long did it take you to find that relationship.

    Thanks so much sugars xoxoxo

    – A guy offered me 3,500 for a weekend in LA hopefully it goes through I’m behind on my rent and I haven’t paid a cent of my schooling for this year and I’m waiting for OSAP (ontario student load) !!! ;( – is that a decent amount for a weekend? I found that other men thought it was too much! One guy offered me 1000 dollars for a week down south LOL SORRY but I know my wealth is more then minimum wage, don’t you girls take it offensively when a guy offers so little? Don’t you find if you ask the guy first what he thinks its fair its always 25% of what is expected!

    – also don’t you hate the men that put on their profile “open amount to discuss” but they always have a limit they want to spend and they state it in a message to you… SO PUT IT ON YOUR PROFILE :S :S :S

  442. Sara says:

    @ SD TWICE- I actually wonder that myself. On my profile I try to avoid anything I want, other than the generic “I want something fun and exciting, etc.” stuff. I put what I can offer to some extent (but not explicity) and majority of my profile is just things about me. My degree, what I do for a living, what I like. I figured that was the only safe thing to write. That way they can decide based on pictures and my profile if I am someone they would like to pursure something with and within conversation we can discuss what we want and offer.

    thoughts?

  443. SD TWICE says:

    Michael, That is an excellent description. It is difficult to find that sort of fit for you; it requires a lot of weeding.

    SD’s, when you read profiles, do you find there is virtually a complete lack of comment about what the SB is offering – outside of perhaps the crudest or basest of terms?

    Do you find an extraordinary focus on ME: Pamper me, treat me like the princess I deserve to be; are you good enough for ME… to the deficit of much redeeming of the person?

    What are some of your favorite ME ME ME encounters?

  444. Sara says:

    @ Michael – I like to call it “relationship lite”. I get the inevitable “Why is a smart, pretty young girl looking for this?”. And I say, I want the fun part of a relationship without the annoying part. They usually get it.

    @ Lily – I am only 23 now, but I have always dated older men. In my traditional relationships they have been in the 30-40 range. I just feel that mentally I connect with them more. I also think that is what led me to the sugar bowl. At 23 I am not ready to get married or have kids. I don’t even know where I want to settle down and live permanantly. And when you date say a 35 year old, he starts to realize he wants to get married and have kids….ASAP. Freaks me out! lol

    @Carebar- yup, south florida. Would love to see you!

    @Micahel (aka Tolstoy) – who do you think you are, writing ridiculously long posts like that? Me? lol

  445. carebear says:

    Furthermore, I have a question for everyone. We usually see pictures of our dates before meeting, and then you usually have that internal-shock-please-don’t-be-written-all-over-my-face reaction of “ok they don’t look exaaaactly like their pictures”.

    So I’m going on a date with guy, and while he’s 50, he looks better than his pictures and could pass for 40. I’m half his age, and could probably pass (and unfortunately do pass) for closer to 30. So say he was 40, and I am 30, 10 years wouldn’t be a big difference right?

    However, we have received stares, and I know its because of the age thing. Do you think that because in fact our age difference is 20+ years that the ages we might pass for are practically irrelevant and thus, obvious?? Why is it that we’re still getting stares? Or is it his blatant nervousness and my ‘sexy’ and possibly obvious style of dressing?

    Tooooooo much coffee this morning.

  446. carebear says:

    Lily, age difference isn’t quite a shocker these days, mostly due to the media and society’s everchanging boundaries.

    When I broke up with my boyfriend over an engagement at 21, he was 38, my SD at the time was 46. Ironically enough, they went to the same high school and had the same football/baseball coach, whom even more ironically, was a co-worker of mine at the time.

    No I don’t make this stuff up.

    I think anything up to 20 years difference isn’t much to flinch at. Although, I am a very nonjudgemental person and don’t care about other people’s business. Of course there’s still a good selection of busy bodies that can’t say the same. While I maintain this attitude, I make most of my local sugar dates meet me a few towns over or in the city to avoid confrontation with the yuppie local crowd that wouldn’t hesitate to blow my cover and ruin my future over gossip.

    Breath.

    Just some thoughts =)

  447. carebear says:

    I <3 Michael's shallowness

    =)

  448. Michael Alleycat says:

    @Lily – we same the same idea, I think the posts crossed at the same time.

    Ok, off to the gym. Have to look after my god-like physique.

  449. Lily says:

    Is an age difference of 20+ years normal in regular dating in the US, or wouldn’t the general public probably assume he had $$ which parlayed him into a younger dating pool? I left the US shortly after college, so I honestly don’t know.
    Where I am, my friend’s jaws drop & hang open and eyes widen at the idea of a 30 year old hottie with even a quite attractive 50 year old (or actually, over 40 —unless he looked darn young for his age). But I think there’s less age gaps in relationships over here. Everyone I know is between 25-35 and not even €€€ seems to be factor in creating commonplace May/December relationships. I don’t know anyone who dates anyone in their 40s, & certainly not 50s. I just don’t see it or hear of it.
    My first SD was 36.

  450. Michael Alleycat says:

    The other thing I really like? I never knew how many hot younger women liked older guys!!! Sprinkle some sugar on top, and we are off to the races. Seriously. That’s what I REALLY like.

    So call me shallow – it’s ok, I know I am.

  451. Lily says:

    Tolstoy! Haha.

    I can see how a single guy with money NOT looking to get married would choose a sugar site to date, since he’ll be able to find a younger, attractive woman ready to go out & have fun with an older man. Where else can he find that?

    young, attractive women on traditional dating sites are usually there to partner up in traditional ways. If they wanted sugarfree NSA action, they’d go out and find a stud around their own age at a bar or nightclub & hook up. Sure, some may actually prefer older men regardless of sugar, as WCSD likes to suggest, but that’s rare.

  452. Michael Alleycat says:

    @SD Guru – I suspect my situation is somewhat different to others here. I am single, as my wife died just over 2 years ago. I don’t travel much anymore, and I don’t hide what I am doing, as long as it is within the realms of reasonableness.

    I have led a somewhat unusual life, and hence my friends are never really THAT surprised with what I do or who I turn up with. Not their business anyway. They all know that I am big on honesty, trust and respect, and they all have my permission to call me out on something if they think I am being totally off the wall.

    The reason that I am on this site – it is not really for the ‘get some sugar in the side’. There has been discussion the last few days how most SBs on the blog prefer married men, as there is less chance of drama, falling in love etc.

    I thought about this last night; I am here as I want to get all the benefits of a relationship without the time requirements, or the uncertainty, drama and aggravation that often comes with relationships. Like most of us, I am at my best in a relationship, but I do not want one right now. For me, sugar dating is sort of a cross between a booty call, FWB and a real relationship. The NSA sex of a booty call, the bond of a friendship, and the genuine affection that comes with a relationship.

    Adding the ]sugar on top makes it more fun, and also brings more clarity to the boundaries of the relationship.

    My boundaries are – honesty, trust and respect, don’t f*ck with me, my friends or my family, no drama, no aggravation, this is “not-a-relationship”, not here to fall in love or get married, let’s just go and have a good time. Dinner, parties, weekends away etc.

    I try to partner up with SBs who, when people see us together, they would say ‘yes, I can see them dating’, rather than having to explain away why I am for dinner with a gorgeous 21 y.o. ‘cousin from out of town’. So to me it seems quite natural and reasonable to take her to a party, or meet my daughter.

    Having set those boundaries, I do not exclude the fact that something further may develop from that. I do not expect or anticipate that something will develop, but I am open to it. I tend to prefer older (>30) SBs, and they generally have kids. Trying to arrange schedules is a pain sometimes, so I just bring the SB into my home. Plus, my daughter is really smart and can pick up things that I don’t. You can also tell a lot from the way people approach kids. Part of the screening process.

    To me, sugar dating is more of a partnership than a relationship.

    It is a variation on dating. I am all about the connection and chemistry, and NOT about the drama, aggravation, uncertainty or lack or clarity. Sugar accelerates the process, and gives both parties the right to walk away at any time, with no drama associated.

    I had mentioned going into business with one of my SBs. To be more specific, I sometimes record, publish and sell on amazon etc motivation and information audio CDs. She had specific skills and knowledge that would have be a real differentiator if we did one together. So while it would have benefited her financially, the major benefit would have been to me. Secondly, I have always found that the way to develop a partnership (which sugar is) is to work on a project together.

    What aspect of sugar do you find most alluring if not addictive? Having the hottest dates ever? Enjoying the finer things in life?
    I like being able to accelerate the beginning of the relationship. I like the clarity it brings, it is a very clear approach to dating, no BS, and if you like each other, well, let’s go!

    That’s all for now. Sorry for the long post. Move over, Tolstoy….

  453. carebear says:

    Bela for some reason I had it in my head that you were in FL. KY is cool though!

    Sara, if I remember correctly, you’re in South FL? I mayyyyy visit WPB later in the winter….keep ya posted!

    And sidenote: besides the *usual suspects*, would any other bloggers be interested in a Carolinas meet in the future?? Assuming over Christmas will not work……Jan?? Feb???

    get my email if I don’t have yours already!!

  454. Sara says:

    @ Carebear (and Bela) – I say this every day I am in Florida! Come visit!

  455. Bela says:

    Carebear, I wish! I’m actually in Kentucky, but I have ties to Florida

  456. Carebear says:

    Bela are you in fl???

    I may be in Tampa before Christmas…..

    But will definitely be in Orlando third week of Jan!!! Fellow floridian sugars speak up!!

  457. Bela says:

    lol, no Cecile. I’m actually in CST, but I needed to get up earlier to get to work without incident. This area gets snow at least once a year, but people still drive like they’ve ever seen it before.

  458. Sara says:

    @ Cecile – Thats what I said! At least flatter me and offer me like 4k like the ones for politicians and Charlie Sheen.

  459. Cecile says:

    Wow, early riser, Bela. East coast time zone?

  460. Bela says:

    Morning sugars!!

  461. Cecile says:

    @Sara
    “Ladies beware! there is man creeping around SA offering 200.00 to meet him in his hotel room once a month. Than gets offended when I say I am not a hooker.”

    Two hundred is offensive even for a hooker!

  462. Cecile says:

    Haha, no need to pay, I’ll take your SB advice, and we’ll call it even!

  463. cleo says:

    jesus i kind of want to pay cecile to have dinner with me!

  464. Cecile says:

    Ooph, had no idea how long that was until I posted it!

  465. Cecile says:

    My responses are in a bit late, but my internet was down alllll weekend.
    It was pretty rough. At one point, I got so desperate that I found myself in a bar, in the corner, with my laptop, on a Saturday night. I looked like a huge dork, but got my fix, which was crucial.

    Ok, here goes!

    Did you start your sugar dating journey with any predetermined limitations or boundaries? If so, have you always adhered to them? Why or why not?

    I’m still in the starting gate. But I’ve got a pretty special situation, so there are definitely some limitations.
    I have an IRL boyfriend. Like a boyfriend boyfriend who’s a student like me, not a loaded tycoon. We’ve been together for closing in on two years, and are really great together. The thing is, last year I moved to Paris for my nanny job. He still live in Antwerp, Belgium (3ish hours by train).
    Not to get too graphic or anything, but I have a pretty high sex drive. Long distance is rough on it. Not only this, but after two years of not being single, I really really miss the seduction game.
    My boyfriend and I started out as best friends, so it’s always been easy for me to be 100% open and honest with him. I told him about seeking arrangement, and my interest in starting something casual and very very nsa.
    He didn’t LOVE the idea, but since I’ve been open to his interest in swinging, he decided to give this a go. We talked it over and he gave me a few basic ‘rules’ that will keep him from feeling too jealous.
    -Don’t see more than one or two SDs at a time.
    -Don’t see them more often than I see him.
    -Keep him in the loop.
    Ideally this will be a fun outlet for me, a big confidence boost, a way to stay motivated about the gym and eating well, and a source of extra income to cushion my currently naked savings account.

    Fingers are crossed that real boyf will be able to handle it as well as he says he can.

    What aspect of sugar do you find most alluring if not addictive? Having the hottest dates ever? Enjoying the finer things in life?
    There’s a huge blend of allure here.
    I get a huge kick out of being wanted, physically.
    I was the “best friend” in high school, that cliche girl who the boys told all their girl trouble to, and invited to movies with the rest of the guys, but never as a date. I admit that this is probably a huge factor as to why being paid to date is a turn on to me.
    I’m also a Taurus, and even though I don’t give these things too much weight, if anything in my personality aligns with my star sign, it’s my sensuality. Sex, food, textures, scents. Love them. The sugar bowl is a sensuality jackpot; an excellent place for a Taurus to indulge.
    Finally, my parents are not very good with money. They did well when I was young, and expected the money to eternally flow, and never set aside any savings, which means I’ve got tuition to pay, and should probably start setting aside for their retirement now.
    SD assistance takes so much stress out of this area of my life.

    How are things in your sugarlife lately? Any new potentials, dates, or changes come up?
    Things are looking good!
    I’m getting some excellent offers from men passing through Paris, and because of my boyfriend situation, I think these are great. One SD has offered 3000 to meet him for meals during his three day business trip. I have more than happily accepted!
    I’m also talking to a really great guy from London who has a place here in Paris.
    I’m too shy to talk numbers, and he seems like someone whose company I’d enjoy. So I’d rather just wait and find out. I get the feeling that he’d be turned off by money talk anyway.

    We’ll see!

  466. SanDiego sb says:

    hey sugars! been working at my new job all weekend. so i’ve been a busy girl, making that sugar :)

    Met with my sorta sd ( we see each other when both our scheds match, and i know I never leave him empty handed, hes close to my age and lives in my city)

    we haven’t seen each other since oct, butttttt he took care of my NYE dress/ticket/ and my share of me and my friends bottle service for that night, and we watched football lol. He gets a huge kick out of me not knowing anything about it and my crazy questions during the game.

    Hope everyones weekend went good!!

  467. cleo says:

    arcadia we’ve all felt that way at some point!

  468. Arcadia SB says:

    hmmm… things slowed down a bit in here…

    I am become death kill of blog comments

  469. Arcadia SB says:

    You know I was having a a feeling “un-pretty” day…and then I got notifications of email on another SD site…figured I’d check it. Two seperate offers to fly me to vegas. I gotta admit, that sort of thing has never happened to me, but it made my day…if I weren’t terrified of axe murderers I might even go. What has other SB experience been with spontaneous trips?

  470. BG says:

    A meet in FL would be awesome!

    Cleo~ how are you girl?

    WCSD~ Hi

  471. cleo says:

    wcsd: i’ll casual date you if you EVER VISIT MY TOWN!!! *chuckles*

  472. BG says:

    Hi Sugars!
    What is this feedjit thing???? so odd!

    Hope everyone had a great weekend…

  473. WCSD says:

    Lisa – In regards to your single SD’s and why they need to be online looking, I’ll give you my perspective.

    I’m single, and my choice for online is pretty simple. Convenience. I was in a very long term relationship, it ended (badly, but I’m not getting into the details), and honestly I have no interest in any type of typical dating/falling in love/etc. at this point. I can get dates, fairly easily, as I’m sure pretty much anyone in this world can (both SDs and SBs). But getting a date that just wants to have carefree fun, is a little different. The plus of an arrangement is everything is known up front, and you are both on the same page.

    Now, looking for an arrangement online, is even easier. There is no akward ‘will she think that I think she is a prostitute’, etc. Again, a common starting point, and therefore very easy. I’m a technology guy, and see online dating (of any kind) really just that…a tool. Could I find that restaurant with a map, and hand written direction? Yes….would it be easier to punch it quickly into my smartphone and GPS…absolutely! Technology….it is just a tool….

    As a side note….nearly every arrangement I’ve been in has ended because my SB has ended up wanting more (in the relationship) than I’m willing to give. I imagine if I was just doing ‘real dating’ with IRL searching it would be even worse….

  474. Michael Alleycat says:

    Bibaby – we are proud of you. You go girl!!!

  475. Arcadia SB says:

    Congratulations BiBaby! That’s more then passing…did pretty well there. Now to scroll up so I can comment on the days proceedings.

    I will say that I drug myself to the gym in spite of the snow and of really not wanting to go today, the things I do to maintain (or attain) my hot sugar bod…I figure if I start now I’ll be ready for swimsuit season in June 😉

  476. BiBaby says:

    Passed my exams, whooooo hooooo! Got a 90 and an 88

    I’m going to be graduating in 2011 if all continues, now just to get my next semester’s tuition together…

  477. TexasSugah says:

    Sara – that is fantastic!!

    He sounds like a guy who’s interested in more than just a roll in the hay. He was impressed by what you had to say, site unseen.

    Ok… so… I’ve been emailing with a guy on another site. He emailed me asking when he could call. While I was waiting I thought I would see if he emailed me via the site.. guess who’s online? Couldn’t care less but I was kinda waiting around. Glad I got some other things done.

    Cat and Mouse.

    Night y’all

  478. cleo says:

    gemi: thanks babe! you are the gemi who used to be gemini right?

  479. Lisa says:

    I had 3 sds in less than a year and then nothing

  480. Lisa says:

    I’ve been looking for one every since the last one poofed. It will be a tough act to follow since the last one helped me get into a safer neighborhood and bought me a macbook, and was very classy and sophisticated. Of course he was 70, I think older sds are better, but then since i’m 45, they have to be at least 60 to really be older, lol

  481. Sara says:

    @ Lisa – I meant that endearingly by the way

  482. Sara says:

    @ Lisa – honey, we just need to brush you off and find you a new one!

  483. Lisa says:

    TexasSugah, if there are more than two drops of water on the ground, it floods, lol hopefully the roads won’t be icy.
    Just came from visiting family. daughter keeps asking me why I don’t want to go with them on a cruise on her birthday. I can’t tell her I can’t afford it. Still haven’t told them that my sd poofed last March. I feel kinda left out :(

  484. Michael Alleycat says:

    @ThirdWorld – the gold-plated one is “unscrewable” … roflmao

  485. Sara says:

    Ladies beware! there is man creeping around SA offering 200.00 to meet him in his hotel room once a month. Than gets offended when I say I am not a hooker.

  486. Sara says:

    @ Gemi – if I had a diamond dildo, I don’t think I would actually use it. haha

  487. Gemi says:

    Sara- What a great way to connect… but only if it turns out well!

    Cleo – <3 weary vs wary.

    Third World – Diamond dildo? But what if one of them comes off?? eeeeeeeeek.

  488. Sara says:

    @ Bela – it was actually really endearing.

  489. Bela says:

    Third World – If a man spent that much money on a dildo for me, I might be compelled to smack him. The thought of something like that is as absurd as couples who spend that much money on weddings. If you have that much and want to spend it on something so trivial, you should be committed.

  490. Bela says:

    Sara – What an interesting way to say hello!

  491. Sara says:

    @ Texas – People do read this and never comment. I actually have pot who emailed me because he kept reading my blog comments and liked what I said, but he never commented himself. That is the best form of flattery, because I am always myself on the blog, when I don’t know that anyone is watching.

  492. FL-SD says:

    @ Cleo… I can do February. February in FL would give all you snow-birds a break.

  493. TexasSugah says:

    Lisa – you know my mom just called to tell me about the weather. Oh my.. if there is more than two drops of water on the ground when this goes through.. you know how people drive here. Geez

    Crapple de dap.. never thought about people just reading.

    Most of what we write is, I thought,only of interest to us. I guess if I wasn’t planning on dabbling, I wouldn’t waste my time.

    Stay warm sugars!

  494. NYC SB says:

    i am so ready to leave nyc for a week… mexico and tequila volleyball here is come! PSYCHED!

  495. Sara says:

    @ third world – you know, I never really wanted a dildo until I saw there was a diamond one…..

  496. Sara says:

    @ Tanya – don’t say that you want to check every day! Than you become a creeper like me! 😉 Welcome (back).

  497. Tanya says:

    Pardon the horrible spelling loves!^^

  498. Tanya says:

    Long time loves! I have been trying to scan through the blogs over the last few days to see what I have been missing out on. WOWzers has it gotten busy on here! As for a mini update on me… I have left the person I was dating and am now living on my own. Trying to make it through the holidas and still be able to pay my rent :) Taking the sugar hunt a bit mroe seriously now since I don’t have another half to worry about. My goal is to be on here daily to keep up with things. Hopefully I will find the sure I have been seeking for a while now!

    Much love!

  499. Sara says:

    @ cleo- a couple hours away but I would love to meet doll

  500. Huh this is like, completely off-topic, but if you are bored, google “diamond luxury dildo.” That is one of the craziest things I have ever seen. Will have to keep that in mind in case I ever meet someone who wants to drop $50,000 on a sex toy for me.

    A gold-plated or diamond encrusted sex toy is totally on my wish list though… just with a significantly smaller price tag…

  501. cleo says:

    i’ll be in florida in february… near naples…

  502. Sara says:

    I thought we already agreed on a Florida meet! Come visit me so I can stop blogging all the time everyone! I will even bake cupcakes! haha

  503. FL-SD says:

    Evening all. It was a beautiful weekend in Florida… hope all of you in the Great White North are staying warm.  Special wishes for those of you traveling in the weather up there…travel safely.

    @Midwest… Yes, indeed… quite
    @ Sara. Thank you… yes I think the goal was expressed well by Michael some time back in his now “blog-famous” formula 1+1=OMFG.  
    For me, it’s like entering a little bubble of 1:1 time.  A chance to shed the pressures for a little while with someone you really want to be with.  A space to enjoy new adventures, great food, and create special memories. Done well, it’s best sampled in measured doses that always leaving the partners looking forward to the next time.
    @Carebear… I feel you pain watching your weather forecast. The sunshine state beckons…. Anybody want a Florida meet ?

  504. Lisa says:

    well the track is completely safe because the school is actually in a very wealthy little town inside houston (houston has little towns with their own police force and everything that cover several miles inside the houston city limit) that is actually in back of the apartment, safety isn’t an issue but you cant’ walk the track after dark and the mall is too busy in the evening. at the end of a work day, I want fresh air and quiet and that’s not found in the mall in the afternoon/evening. best time to walk in the mall is in the early morning 6 am-9 am, unfortunately I have to be on the bus to work at 7, and spend the hour before that getting ready for work.

    ok gotta go now, won’t be able to take another walk till friday.

  505. cleo says:

    can you go “mall walking” on those days because the mall is across the street so it’s not so dangerous to get home?

  506. Lisa says:

    I guess he must have not been traveling to your area in two weeks, lol
    this was about 2 years ago that he was contacted everyone .

    ok i’ve got to be getting ready for my 8 lap walk. It is great for stress relieft, unfortunately I can’t do it on the days I work because when I get home i’m too tired and only have about an hour before dark. There is a grade school behind my apartment and they have the track open during non school hours.

    Have a good afternoon everyone

  507. cleo says:

    hmm… i actually don’t think so…

  508. Lisa says:

    did traveler every contact you about being in your area in 2 weeks? I think everyone on the blog was contacted by him, lol

  509. cleo says:

    sara: mine was from buffalo *lol*
    .
    lisa: i get nearly none of that form letter stuff. i mean heck wallstreetpartyanimal never even contacted me when i had my nyc profile up

  510. Sara says:

    @ Cleo- OMG! He is from Canada we probably did!

  511. Lisa says:

    Cleo, it is a little different for men because after all they are the ones that are suppossed to do the asking out. I never persue anyone, online or irl. and I just got one of those annoying form letters, from a guy who sent the exact same one awhile back. on one of the other sites, sbs can access the “who’s viewed me” without a paid account. When I get one of these canned messages “my love, I saw your profile and fell in love, blah, blah,” I always check to see if they have viewed my profile and no usually they haven’t. I send them a message back asking them why they felt I was the one for them when they hadn’t even viewed my profile, and lets say, my message is read and deleted without a response back.

    • SD Guru says:

      @Michael
      Taking a new pot SB out tonight to a party to meet some friends. Will be intersting to say the least… Sensational evening last night…

      Along the lines of the blog topic, it’s not clear whether you have boundaries for your sugar life. You’ve mentioned going into business with your SBs and taking them to meet your friends and daughter. This is a very different approach from those who want to keep their personal life and sugar life separate. I’m not judging, I’m just wondering why you’ve chosen to take this approach?

      @Carebear
      I think the idea of being the ‘extra-marital mistress’ is hott. But the group that agrees is probably quite small.

      Based on the response from Aurelia and Sara, you’re not the only one with that view. From your perspective, is there a difference between mistress and SB?

      @Sara
      I am not sure what sort of marriages all men are stuck in… Any married men blog lurkers that would like to chime in and help us out?

      There are loveless marriages and sexless marriages. When there are young kids involved both parties may choose to put the needs of the children ahead of their individual needs. A divorce may not be the best option, thus some married men choose to stay in a marriage and become SD’s to take care of their own needs.

      @OC
      Riddle me this… How can someone who states they make 150K ish range offer 3-5k per month. Just an economic conundrum. Not possible.

      Exactly. I wrote about “Allowance in Real Dollar Terms” in my blog to illustrate what kind of income a SD should have to provide an allowance at various levels. To support a $3-5k per month allowance, a SD would need a yearly income of $255k to $430k. Of course individual cases may vary, but it gives you a rough idea.

  512. cleo says:

    not sure how that posted, i wasn’t done yet… anyway:
    .
    alleycat: she wowed your friends?
    .
    lily: oh nooo!
    .
    carebear: i’ll take taht date, i love nyc in any weather!

  513. cleo says:

    carebear: i wear layers and the bottom two are always complementary and sexy. they forget the big coat if the outfit is cute enough… and i live in canada, i’d have to stay in from nov to april otherwise!
    .
    sara: “total stage five clinger with a mean streak” ROFL!!! add in inappropriate public displays of affection and i think we both dated him!
    .
    girly: KEEP THE CASH!
    .
    lisa: but reverse that; by all accounts i shouldn’t need to go looking online for dates, i’m attractive and tall and people think i used to model… and i get very little action in person and frankly don’t really like going out. there’s something nice about surfing the ‘man catalogue’ before bed… i just assume there are men out there like me…
    .
    btw several of you are making this mistake so i gotta do it…

    i grow weary of watching people be tired when they mean to be cautiously wary in their approach to certain SD’s

  514. Lily says:

    doesn’t carebear know it! She saw me chug theraflu instead of wine all night in manhattan, just to stay upright so I could hang out with the girls.

  515. carebear says:

    Lily is a trooper =)

  516. carebear says:

    girly – some corporate computers come with a gps locating device where they reset it, receive a code, and have to type it in just to access their own account. chances are you never stood a chance.

    you seem smart, i’m sure you’ll find another sd that will buy you your own laptop =)

    aurelia!! practically the same boat! my first “sd” (i use quotations bc i was young also and had no idea it could be considered a sugar relationship), well he and i met in CLT through my work, saw each other for a year, then sprang on me with “i’m leaving my wife i’m in love with you” ummmm dude you’re 47 i can’t bring you home to my cousin’s wedding. the next week i was mysteriously laid off….. =(

    now i also avoid single or divorced, even if they mention ‘may be seperated’ in emails, i throw my hands over my ears and start yelling “LALALALALAAAA!” i can hardly commit to a drink order at starbucks, nevertheless ANY sort of semi-pseudo-almost serious relationship.

    gag.

    MICHAEL! details!!!!!!!! NOW!!

    ThirdWorld, OC, Sara-SEND US NY’ERS WARM WEATHER! asap! i have an offer to go to fl for a sugar date but haven’t accepted because i don’t feel like dealing with the airport hell up here that we’re all bound to go through in this weather.

  517. Lily says:

    Nah. I got us out of there and have shrugged it off!

  518. Sara says:

    @ Lily – Ugh I hope you didn’t let that ruin your day.

  519. Lily says:

    Yup, in a very non-sugary setting. I was with my VIP irl crew and so was he, and he didn’t call me out but he started chatting up those I was with, ‘innocently,’ and I didn’t find it amusing & ignored him. He was a PJ iirc…. Offering 1/2 the going p4p rate for escorts in this area and I had instantly blocked him from my life.

  520. Bela says:

    Of course, this is for American/domestic traveling. I’m not exactly sure how it would work in other countries

  521. Bela says:

    Third – When I know I’m going to travel somewhere and I may need more than I can carry, I ship it there. If you’re staying at a nice hotel, or know someone in the area, all you need is a destination address. If you send it far enough in advance, the shipping rate is much cheaper than if you checked it. Plus it’s less that you actually have to carry so that’s nice.

  522. Sara says:

    @ third world – yes, it is usally like 50.00 a bag

  523. Sara says:

    @ Lily – You RAN into one? OMG, I can’t eve imagine. Did he say hi?

  524. Does anyone have an experience with what happens when you have more luggage than the airline allows? Is the charge for an extra bag usually ridiculous?

  525. Lily says:

    Michael- dish!!!

    Ran into a former potSD today and it wasn’t convenient! Blech.

  526. Lisa says:

    I can’t believe my neighbors are using their air conditioning today, I just heard it come on outside my bedroom window

  527. Sara says:

    I like the married SD more too, but for selfish reasons. I have my own life and if he is married, he is less likely to be clingy or want too much of my time. Plus I have been on some other less fabulous sites and I keep finding men that want a girlfriend not SB and think money will make up for their lack of personality and/or attractiveness.

  528. VillaCypris says:

    @Michael —– “sensational evening”?????
    do tell!!!!! :)

  529. VillaCypris says:

    Thanks OC!!!! We have brilliant sunshine, but if you could spare a few degrees (or 40) that would be excellent! 😉

  530. Lisa says:

    What’s a snowsuit? lol actually one could get away with wearing a heavy sweater today, the wind is the only thing making it cold, nice day otherwise.

  531. Lisa says:

    The mall is right outside my door (well I can see it from my front door) How cool is that? Too bad I don’t have a sd so i’d actually have some money to buy something.

  532. Also, it is the dead of winter here, and it is like 70 degrees. Today when I was riding to the mall in an open-air rickshaw, I almost felt like I could have used a jacket…

  533. Also, I just discovered the mall food court here.

    EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK.

    I am not normally much of a mall rat, but woahwoahwoah the food there was amazing. I wanted to eat at like 12 different places and everything was sooooo cheap. Not to mention the rest of the mall. GAH the clothes here. Everything is so amazing. I tried to hold back though, because I like to save the shopping for when I am not the one paying…

  534. Lisa says:

    I have 5 winter coats OC, I can lend you one, lol

    I rarely get to wear them. the one i’m wearing today i’ve had almost 6 years and worn about 20 times. still in brand new conditon

  535. Michael Alleycat says:

    Morning all from sunny Phoenix!! 81 here today, blue skies and warm.

    Sensational evening last night ….

  536. OCSugarBaby ♥ says:

    Just a word of caution…
    This blog is read by a very large audience! Press, lurkers, wives, etc…

    OC’s Golden Blog Posting Suggestions…
    1. Don’t post personal infor about yourself and or current/pot SDs or SBs
    – Even the simple minded can put words to google and draw the line to parties mentioned.
    2. Ehhhh that’s all I got for this morning… back to my coffee

    • OCSugarBaby ♥ says:

      @ Aurelia NC just looking out for my suga sister! xoxo

      I can send you guys some warm sunny 80 degree sunshine! Very lazy this morning, I am still laying in bed at almost 9am. I did however go walk the dog, but back under the covers with my coffee. Bike ride, beach or finish christmas shopping?
      I will be in the frozen tundra next week for a quick pre-christmas family visit. I don’t own a winter coat! Maybe I will just have to wear my ski pants and jacket!!! lol

  537. @carebear

    Hmmm… not the *UNITED* states. Backpacking around the third world country where I am currently located / sugaring.

  538. Lisa says:

    I’m always weary of single men that supposedly have a lot going for them, that have to look online for a woman. I have came across men that claim to be in the social circles and have all types of hobbies that put them in touch with like minded people, yet they have to look online for someone who shares their interests? I can understand a married man having to look online because, after all, he can’t meet women through family and friends, can’t really get involved with someone at work or in his community, and most likely a lot of his social activities involve his wife too. He’s got to look outside of his circle in order to be discreet whereas a single man can meet people anywhere and if he’s got money to spend, he should have no issues finding someone in real life.

  539. Aurelia NC says:

    @carebear-I think you are spot on to be weary of guys who are single or divorced. I have some horror stories about previous SDs who were single who became obsessive stalkers… I had to get restraining orders taken out against both of them… I was young though, I was 19 and dove into the sugar thing as a total newbie. After taking a year-long break about those two psychos, I jumped back into the year bowl about a year and a half ago, vowing only to see married men and it has worked out so much better. My current SD is married, totally stable guy, just refuses to divorce because of the kids. I have another part-time SD who comes through Ashevillle for business once a month who is also married, and a totally great guy. Nowadays I usually ignore messages from guys who are single or divorced.

  540. girly says:

    hey Sarah..
    Thank you for the benefit of the doubt…. I honestly only tried twice so I guess maybe he has some high security on his laptop. Who knows, seems we will never know. The fact he couldt even tell me to go away in a message back is fairly rude to me. I gave me most sincere apology. Anways. Im feeling better about it now, notabout what I did, just about the whole situation and how I am now certain he overreacted about many things as we were getting to know each other. I should have saw the signs and added them all together.

    I hope everyone is having a nice day!!

  541. Lisa says:

    it’s going to be 29 here tonight

  542. VillaCypris says:

    @Sara – totally agree!!

    @Lisa – ha! yes, maybe i’ll wait til tomorrow morning, it’s going to be MINUS 15 air temp.

  543. Lisa says:

    wow Villa, time to break out the shorts and tube top, lol

    I read that the game had been moved to monday and now it’s indefinate

    ok gotta bundle up and walk down the porch to the laundry room

  544. Sara says:

    @OC/Lisa/Guru – One of the life skills you learn in the sugar bowl is to have an excellent BS detector.

  545. VillaCypris says:

    good morning! :)

    midwest – funny you say that as I was planning to go to the game at noon with my dad! the giants are still stuck in kansas city tho, and yes, now the metrodome collapsed… so we shall see when/if it’s rescheduled!

    at least the snow has stopped… but now it’s sunny and zero degrees. yippee!!

  546. Lisa says:

    When I go down to the mall later for a latte, I will wear my coat and boots, but there will be people in shorts and flip flops, I just know it.

  547. Bela says:

    snow day!!! Perfect timing too. I went to the symphony and then a few Christmas parties last night, so walking in snow in strappy heels would have been interesting!

  548. Lisa says:

    Good morning it’s 45 and sunny with a windchill of 37 brrrr.

    How bout the ones than make 75-100k and offer 10k a month, lol

  549. Midwest SB says:

    Morning sugars!!! VC don’t go to the dome! Just LOVE these winters!

  550. Sara says:

    @ Texas – I have met a couple of IRL potential sugars too, but I don’t know how to approach that topic at all. I wouldn’t want to offend anyone or scare them away haha. How do you do it? I believe NYCSB may have some experience with that. Anyone else?

    and no, I havent heard from Alice. I thought she decided to bail on the date? Maybe not. I haope she is ok.

    • OCSugarBaby ♥ says:

      Go oo ood Morning Sweet Sugar’s
      @ Sara we have a ton of great previous blogs. One about IRL sugar’s you might want to check them out. Great Reading!

      @SD Guru Morning sunshine! I agree with your comment that you can’t believe everything that someone offers. Riddle me this… How can someone who states they make 150K ish range offer 3-5k per month. Just an economic conundrum. Not possible. So yes we need to screen or use your BS radar. 😯

  551. Sara says:

    mmmmm @carebear – caffeine and I have a close personal relationship….in fact, I think it is getting serious.

  552. carebear says:

    Caffeine pretty girl!!

  553. TexaSugah says:

    Well… After all that talking I might have a date IRL. But he’s sugar material. Another about the same who is an NFL agent. Sounds great but… Could be broke.. Who knows.

    Got my fingers crossed on 3 pots. Two in the middle east and one in midtown here. I’m going for midtown first.

    I gotta pick someone soon. This is tiresome. But, there’s always feast or famine.

    Has anyone heard from Alice. Wasn’t her big date this weekend??

    Oh and morning sugar fam!!!!!!

  554. Sara says:

    @carebear- I never sleep in, I don’t know how to handle myself properly! haha

  555. carebear says:

    Go back to bed Sara =)

  556. Sara says:

    Classy I know. lol

  557. Gemi says:

    Oooo a repo’ed lexus! NICE.

  558. Sara says:

    Oh oh oh! I totally forgot (must have blocked it out of my memory) I have the BEST gift offer for a first meet. I met a man who owned several used car lots around my area and he tried to offer me a REPO’ED LEXUS! I couldnt even handle it. I said I had to go ( I was on the phone) and burst out laughing.

  559. Sara says:

    UGH I suck this morning.

    This:
    @Carebear – in general I am a very skeptical person. (I like to say I am a smart ass with a cute ass) and a lot of guys I meet think it is cute (they tell me I am fiesty or a pistol), so usually when a guy promises me anything I say “yeah yeah sure I will believe it when I see it” (and if it is in person give them a kiss on the cheek or something so they know I am teasing. It takes the pressure off everyone. I don’t get unrealistic expectations and he doesnt feel obligated to buy my x, y, z.

    was for Carebear, Third World, and anyone else who commented on the gift subject…..I’m not thinking straight this morning. haha

  560. Sara says:

    @ Texas – I agree completely. I get exhausted, annoyed and frustrated just thinking about conventional dating right now. I have had some hell of ex’s

  561. Sara says:

    @ Dandelion – I am not sure what sort of marriages all men are stuck in, I have not, am nto and never will be a married man. 😉 haha. Any married men blog lurkers that would like to chime in and help us out?

  562. Sara says:

    boldface* ( I should probably go back to bed until I can spell better lol)

  563. Sara says:

    @ SD – yes it is very possible his offer was bullshit, but regardless I did not tread further despite even the promise of such a nice allowance because I uncomfortable with him. I probably should have elaborated, but when I said inconsistancies, I did not mean with his logistics and stuff, everything there checked out (phone number, location, name, occupation, etc.) I meant with his personality. He would say something rude, than I would get annoyed, call him out on it and he would like “forget” we just argued. Or I would say text before you call in case I am working and he would send (no joke) 10-15 texts with the exact same blodface “CAN U TALK?” in a row! He was a total stage 5 clinger with a mean streak, and I learned that after only 2 weeks of chatting.

  564. Gemi says:

    Goooood morning sugar land!

    Woke up with a nasty headache this morning. 2nd meet went well but have basically established that he is not an allowance SD, really more of a gift SD. But he’s nice and cute and we have a great connection/chemistry so we shall see… enjoyable dates are still far-and-few between for me. but overall still looking and meeting pot SDs… looking for that true all-encompassing SD (minus travel). Allowance + gifts = awesome!

    Ladies, how have gift SDs worked for you all in the past??

    Oh and ThirdWorld SB – I had a pot SD say that he’d buy me a car with bluetooth rather than just get me a bluetooth headset. I about died trying not to bust out laughing over the phone. Bluetooth headset = $100. New car with bluetooth capabilities = $42k+. Now which one is more realistic to get someone you just met?? LOLOLOL Talk about guys saying they’ll get you gifts or whatnot… I wonder if I should call him on that!! haha.

  565. Sara says:

    @Carebear – in general I am a very skeptical person. (I like to say I am a smart ass with a cute ass) and a lot of guys I meet think it is cute (they tell me I am fiesty or a pistol), so usually when a guy promises me anything I say “yeah yeah sure I will believe it when I see it” (and if it is in person give them a kiss on the cheek or something so they know I am teasing. It takes the pressure off everyone. I don’t get unrealistic expectations and he doesnt feel obligated to buy my x, y, z.

  566. Sara says:

    @ Dandelion – I get what you are saying, I was giving her the benefit of the doubt. She said she tried twice. So I went with that. And I dont know if it was the first time they fought or what. I completely agree that he should be mad about what she did – in fact even furious, my computer is my baby and has sooooo much stuff on it. I think where he overreacted was when she tried to apologize profusely and he would not even respond. Not even a decent “I don’t think we are right for eachother”. That just seems childish to me.

  567. carebear says:

    Reverse psychology = manipulation

    =)

    Good luck back packing! That is wild…..touring the states??

  568. Mmm yeah, he is definitely giving me an allowance and is a sweet man, which is why I want to keep him. I think he appreciates that I do not try to manipulate him, and I don’t want to tread into that territory. I like NYCSB’s approach, though, and I think the next time he starts making promises that he isn’t likely to keep, I will try to tease/joke him with that line of thought. Maybe the reverse psychology will lead him to insist that he is a man of his word and follow through. 😉

    On the bright side, now that I have some sugar in my purse, wallet, and suitcase (seriously, it doesn’t all fit in one place… the biggest denomination of money here is only worth $23…), I am soon off to travel the country for a month! Ooooh I am so excited. I am going to take the train everywhere and eat so much yummy food. Backpacking adventures are a seriously awesome contrast to sugar dating.

    I think I am still going to get flown out for sugar dates every week or so from wherever I am in the country. Having to pack like a backpacker, and also having to pack for sugar dates is going to be a serious challenge! It’s going to be so weird to switch back and forth between living on $20 a day and hanging out with a multimillionaire…

  569. Dandelion Wine says:

    Carebear, you do not seem borderline to me :)
    Oh, and I prefer a money order or cash 😉

  570. carebear says:

    <3 lubbbzzz yew tew

    funny that while being emotionally unavailable yet still social (or a huge flirt, for lack of a better word) it would probably still pair correctly with apd, i'm pretty calm so borderline never made sense (although internally volatile so i guess it does), and i think we can all agree narcissism runs rampant around here.

    hmmm pretty spot on. who do i write the check to?

    • SD Guru says:

      @Lady Intim
      Unfortunately I’m having a serious WTF moment right now… and that I’m still a dirty pervert at heart and get antsy especially when im left alone during his long business trips…

      Sounds like you need a f**k buddy (I heard Michael is available…). Or you can be a sugar mama when your hubby SD is gone! 😛

      just wanted to conclude that basically I am dealing with all the key elements from my Guru risk assessment from several months ago… I know it sounds totalled F’d up and whatever but it works.

      I’m glad my food for thought post was helpful as it was meant to give you something to think about. As long as it works for you and your hubby SD then that’s all that matters.

      @Sara
      The highest offer for an allowance I ever got (in the 15-20k rage) I had to turn down, because the man was so inconsistant and things he said made me concerned.

      Given what you said about him, do you think the offer was even legit? Lots of pot SD’s can throw all sorts of numbers out there for an allowance. But you’ll have to decide for yourself which ones can actually deliver.

      One of the positives of being teacher is that I get winter break, spring break and summer vacation just like the kiddies. Perhaps to London?

      Be careful of what you wish for. Int’l travel may sound glamorous and exciting, but the logistics is not for the faint of heart. I can tell you for a fact London weather sucks right now.

      @Michael
      I need someone local to slap some sense into me.

      I guess the blog slapping is not working?? :)

      But my #2 is still around, very reliable, no problems, just works well.

      So why don’t you promote her to #1. After all, doesn’t reliability count for something?

      @TOmSB
      the traditional relationship I was involved in slowly turned into something that more resembles an arrangement.

      Very interesting! Why is that? Please elaborate. There had been cases of arrangement turning into traditional relationship, but not the other way around.

  571. Dandelion Wine says:

    Carebear – brilliant @ 11:28. I heart you :)

    To answer your question, emotional unavailability is often a sign of a cluster B (dramatic, emotional, or erratic) personality disorder. The personality disorders which comprise Cluster B include histrionic, antisocial, borderline, and narcissistic. :)

  572. Dandelion Wine says:

    @ Girly – I am sorry it isn’t what you wanted to hear, but what you did wasn’t great and he overreacted. But do you really want someone that gets so angry so quickly and doesn’t listen to apologies? That sounds like a lot of drama to me. And the opposite of NSA. Listen to OC. Live and Learn doll.
    ————–

    Sara, (I promise I’m not picking on you!) how did he over-react?
    Like I said on the other blog: computers go into a lockdown after 10 wrong attempts, so that means she tried and tried, and for whatever reason she didn’t think that it would be just easier to ask him to log her in do she could check her email.
    If you caught someone trying to pick a lock to your house and they then said :”oh sorry, I was drunk and I just wanted to use the bathroom” would you go “aaaaw, well in that case it’s ok, I forgive you” !

  573. carebear says:

    @ fellow mistresses-
    Is it strange that I find it a turn on? I’ve noticed lately in my filtering process, I get guarded around men that are single or divorced….they scare me haha! Potential emotional hazard=RUN! So I usually gravitate towards married men because it forges a boundary that no other mental nsa promise can put there.

    DW – what would you call this social complex? add it to my list =)

    Is it bad that I keep canceling sugar dates because its 10 EFFING DEGREES OUTSIDE?? I’m sorry, but if I have to wear tights, boots, skirt, top, sweater, huge coat, scarf, gloves….yeah it can look ‘cute’ but never ‘sexy’. Grrrrr.

  574. carebear says:

    @thirdworld- ‘gifts’ meaning he will give them to you when he feels comfortable doing so. unless he’s promised to give you something each meet, you can’t really ‘demand’ a surprise. it loses the element of fun!

    Try “I bought a new sexy black lace robe today and wanted to throw on some heels and showit to you, but I won’t see you for another 2 weeks! I wish I could hop on webcam but my old computer is still messed up *pout*”

    TEASE!

    Of course men are going to over-extend themselves. And feel free to call them on it, but do it in a VERY subtle and innocent way or you will look like a brat. Turn your benefit into a situation that would benefit them as well. If he doesn’t deliver, slowly cut off communication, and when you do talk to him, mention things he would miss about you. That should make him jump higher.

    Ahhh the game of manipulation.

  575. Dandelion Wine says:

    Let me rephrase that: “stuck in the loveless marriages just for the kids”

  576. Dandelion Wine says:

    I could see where being the mistress would be hot. Normally I think about their motivation. If they are stuck in a loveless marriage or if it is for the kids or something I am usually more understanding.
    —————–
    Sara, aren’t all married men stuck in the loveless marriages just for the kids? Lol

  577. cleo says:

    Did you start your sugar dating journey with any predetermined limitations or boundaries? If so, have you always adhered to them? Why or why not?

    only that i would respect myself. i’m single and have no kids so as long as i’m not destroying my business i’m fine to do whatever i choose… and i’d chuck it all and run off with the right safety net in place…

    What aspect of sugar do you find most alluring if not addictive? Having the hottest dates ever? Enjoying the finer things in life?

    i’ve only had tastes of sugar… i think for me it would be the escape, the freedom to care about someone without having to put weight on it and of course the yummy food :)

    How are things in your sugarlife lately? Any new potentials, dates, or changes come up?

    i’ve changed a lot of things on my profile, i’ve written a new profile, i’ve had dozens of different photos, i’ve moved to new york n my profle… i get more attention since my photos got hotter and i chucked a bunch of weight but still nothing more than sugar dust.

    not too sure what to do about that

  578. Dandelion Wine says:

    Oh wow, I didn’t even realize there was a new blog and was still posting in the old one. Ooops.

  579. girly says:

    so I made a new profile. When do you guys think it will get approved.. not till Monday. Im soo anxious. I dont want to wait untill then haha.

  580. girly says:

    @sarah..

    Thank you.. You are right.. I do feel aweful and I shouldnt have even gone near his laptop– leason learned there. But people do make mistakes and most likely I would have made some other mistake down the road sometime that he would have overreacted over. Looking back on it now. There were many times he overreacted at small things when we were texting back and forth getting to know each other. hindsight is a wonderful thing huh haha.

    I guess I was just to eager to meet someone. I have had SD’s before but havent for over a year. I had a very serious boyfriend and im back on the SD scene now. Jumped too quick. Now that that is out of my system I am going to take it more calm.

    I emailed my old SD, we got along wonderfully.. I just could never get him to meet me often enough. He is a crazy busy guy. This guy was great though. very honest and straight forward and kind. He I think just wanted someone to pay attention to him. listen to him since his wife and kids are all just overly spoiled and dont pay attention to him. So maybe ill get to see him soon and hopefully ill even get him to commit to seeing me more often. Like sometimes it would be like 1 month.

  581. TexaSugah says:

    TM

    I think that since recession hit, women are ” doing whatever they can”. So yes, they assume we will too. Whatever!

    Sara and Lisa – I think I’m so jaded by my ex that I just can’t imagine dating and zip. I mean, I’m not paying for a date, period. And with regular guys they seem to think you have to marry them to get help, damn that!

    I just can’t see myself with a guy in my house. It took an act of congress to get one out. Lol. But then I’m 36 and don’t want to BS around too much.

    I guess by the middle of next year I’ll be.. More ready.

    I went back to SD.com for a few laughs. Same freaking guys. Geez. No one met anyone??? And there’s so many references to NO Strippers I’m thinking.. No wonder.

    Night all!,,,

  582. Aurelia NC says:

    @carebear- I agree, being a mistress is hot! I have been one for the last 6 months and am loving it… theres something extra sexy about being something that is so taboo 😉

  583. Sara says:

    @ Texas – I totally agree! Which is why I date sugar when I am at a phase in my life where I can’t deal with regular dating and don’t want to. It goes in cycles for me.

  584. TM says:

    @TexaSugah

    I have no idea. I’ve heard the excuse that it’s more convienient and such, but I’d rather be safe in my own city than take a risk like that. Not saying something bad will happen, but hey, rather safe than sorry. There are also probably women willing to do that, so they just assume everyone is too.

    And I feel you on the sugar thing. My first couple years of being a SB, I felt like I had blinders on! :)

  585. Lisa says:

    TexaSugah , I feel that modern dating really offers a woman nothing. what’s the point? If I want to go out with someone and pay half, etc I can do that with a friend or even a coworker.

    I have dated guys that lived in nice homes, drove nice cars, ate a nice places, etc but what good did it do me when I was living in the ghetto, getting wet at the busstop, and having an empty fridge? I could do that on my own without giving some guy my time so we could split the bill.
    I think the ordinary everyday IRL is becoming obsolete.

  586. TexaSugah says:

    Hey y’all

    3rd- girl yes! I got so tired of hinting with dude about the iPad I got my own. I’m pretty satisfied especially since I got it new for under 20 bucks.

    TM – you know ive been asked by a couple of pots to travel to them. In fact.. Three including a new one today. What’s up with that? I guess sugars are so thick on the ground that men can make whatever request.

    To all… Sugar is kinda screwing up the looking around for real guys. You know it’s so bad that it’s what my friends expect. Actually, I spend so much mental energy on sugar that I don’t really feel like bothering. Or… Maybe I huts haven’t met THAT guy yet.

    Help? Anyone else experiencing the same?

  587. Sara says:

    @ NYCSB – gotcha, smart move lady!

  588. NYC SB says:

    Sara – well giving me a few hours notice is just being inconsiderate. He knew he would be free this weekend aka wife would be out of town… Would have been nice to give me 24 hour notice so I can plan accordingly. I guess always being available to him he assumed that would be the case this weekend too. So I said no… Like guru said “do not reward bad behavior”

  589. Michael Alleycat says:

    @Sqra – no more trouble than usual. Taking a new pot SB out tonight to a party to meet some friends. Will be intersting to say the least.

  590. TM says:

    @Sara via the other blog.

    You’re sooo right. I usually avoid annoying pests like that but I felt bad for ignoring him. Yikes, what a creep.

    As for this blog:
    1. Never meet the first time you speak
    2. Give email/number when you can tell their serious about meeting
    3. Never travel to meet a pot
    4. No intimacy the first couple dates
    5. Always trust your gut
    6. Never be pressured into anything you’re not comfortable with
    7. Always have money on you
    These are the basic guidelines for myself…there are probably more that I’m not thinking of, though.

    On another note, I have met some great pots and gave them my number. Lining up a few meetings for next week.

    Wish me luck!

  591. Sara says:

    Whew! Finally home. Taking the kiddies to their debate tournament is time consuming (starts at 7 am), but its all worth it when my team sweeps the tournament and takes home 17 awards! Makes me a proud teacher/mama. lol

    @ Carebear- I could see where being the mistress would be hot. Normally I think about their motivation. If they are stuck in a loveless marriage or if it is for the kids or something I am usually more understanding.

    @ Fl-SD – You hit the nail on the head! you very eloquently explained exactly what I want – that little rush that is so amazing you couldn’t have it all the time.

    @ Gemi – I totally get your motivation. I have always wanted to be spoiled. IRL I always end up dating jerks who I support. Or guys who get their phone cut off. Or get kicked out of school. Or have multiple illegitimate children with multiple women. Or get their 4th DUI …..I could keep going 😉

    @ Midwest/Third World/Villa/Gemi – The International one is very enticing. Plus judging from his photos he is very handsome! One of the positives of being teacher is that I get winter break, spring break and summer vacation just like the kiddies. Perhaps to London? 😉

    @ Midwest – After a long day like today: your wine and mani/pedi idea sounds like heaven! I may just do that tommorow! lol

    @ Third World – you have brought up a lot of advantags of an international daddy (its like a whole new SD category)

    @ Girly – I am sorry it isn’t what you wanted to hear, but what you did wasn’t great and he overreacted. But do you really want someone that gets so angry so quickly and doesn’t listen to apologies? That sounds like a lot of drama to me. And the opposite of NSA. Listen to OC. Live and Learn doll.

    @ Michael Alleycat- @LadyIntim – hi!!! Still lurking? Let’s catch up soon. I need someone local to slap some sense into me.
    What kind of trouble have you gotten yourself into now buster!

    @ Gemi – Good luck girl! Make good choices 😉

    @ NYCSB- Why are you sayng no to Paris?!? I thought we liked him. lol

    @ TomSB- wow I am impressed – over a year? What is your secret doll?

    @ Third World – why don’t you low ball him one day? Catch him by surprise. Say I really need a new laptop, could we do that instead of my allowance? It may drive it home that you really NEED this and it may shock him so much he will get extra generous. It may not – I have never tried it, but if your approach isn’t working, why not try the opposite? Or listen to NYCSB – her response was much more logical. lol.

  592. NYC SB says:

    Why not tell him that you are happy with what he has provided to you (I am assuming you are getting an allowance from him) and tell him that he needs not promise you the world. This gets your hopes up and they get squashed when he does not deliver thus clouding your appreciation of his generosity.

    If he is not providing u with an allowance stop wasting time with him he is a flake

    Girly – keep the money this is the sugar bowl and he gave you a gift… It happens all the time! Also leave him alone he is clearly no longer interested in you since he found out you used his computer. Last and most important … Never meet someone at their place for your first meet! He could have been a rapist or a murderer …

  593. ContinentalTravel says:

    @TWSB:

    Here’s my suggestion: promise a wild night of sex, get your allowance up front, then say “I have a headache”. See how they react.

    OK, just joking. Honestly, some men just like ot promise the moon. If he’s delivering on what you two explicitly agreed on, just pretend you’re excited, but don’t take them seriously. Maybe he just like to hear himself talk.

  594. @ Alleycat

    Yeah but… won’t that offend him or annoy him? I’m pretty committed to providing a drama-free experience. I really like him and I’d rather not part ways with him over something so stupid; I just don’t understand why he feels the need to do it. We’re not really negotiating anymore. I probably should be more aggressive about calling him on his BS though. We both have smart phones and he has an iPad… asking him to make an online purchase when he starts promising the world is probably not a terrible idea.

  595. Michael Alleycat says:

    He’s promising the world, trying to impress you and make you do what he wants you to do. People do this in negotiation all the time.

    My approach would be to call him on it. If he says he’ll get you a new laptop, say ok, let’s go and get it. If he has not delivered after a few days, remind him and say that you are very surprised and disappointed because you thought he was a man of his word. Is there a problem I should know about blah blah

    You know the words. People do not expect to be called on their commitments. When you do, he will know that you will not accept any BS.

  596. Does anyone else have a problem with SD’s continuously hinting at expensive gifts/trips that they never deliver on? I thought maybe it was just the one, but now I am beginning to realize a pattern wherein SD’s I have seen will hint that they are going to buy me a laptop, trip to Europe, car, etc., etc., “soon,” and then never do it. I would ask directly, but then when I ask for smaller things from them in a situation where I really need help (ex. “Hey, I lost my cell phone. Instead of going shopping for clothes tomorrow, can we go look at cell phones?”), sometimes they get a little tight and seem uncomfortable with my request, or give me a pretty small budget to work with. It’s okay if they don’t want to buy me expensive things (after all I have an allowance), but I am confused by their promises of expensive gifts, lack of delivery, and then reluctance to purchase smaller gifts for me. I get that no one wants to feel like a walking ATM or wants to feel like they are cleaning up all of your messes, but then the same men will say things like “You need a new laptop? Why didn’t you tell me?! Of course I will help!” …and then don’t follow through on that.

    Is this something other SB’s have experienced as well? I have heard the advice about tactfully hinting when you need something instead of asking for it outright, and have been trying to do that, but I feel like even though that yields a positive reaction from me SD at the time, it is not actually yielding results in the form of me getting what I want/need. Any insights?

  597. TOmSB says:

    Hello everyone,

    I am new to this blog but have been reading it here and there every once and a while.

    To Girly. I know this is unsolicited as I am new, but the real question is what do you want to do? Assuming that you never hear from him in the scenario where you return the money you have to ask yourself if you would feel better for it anyways. Even in the scenario where you remain friends, the question is, what will make you feel better/give you peace of mind. In reality, returning the money is selfish in the sense that it would strictly be to make yourself feel better if you consider it to be the right thing (which there is nothing wrong with). I agree with OCSugarBaby in that you need to forgive yourself and move past it, but not necessarily that giving the money back is a bad idea. Depending on the person returning the money may be requisite in their ability to forgive their self.

    If you are in a bit of trouble and can not do without the money without placing greater burden on yourself, that is a bit different and complicated the situation. As far as the message, returning the money says nearly everything you want to say in the message anyhow. Sending the money is effectively making it up to him as you would be decreasing his “losses” so to speak. I would keep it short, such as:

    Under the circumstances I can’t in good conscience accept the money which you kindly gave to me. I am going to be mailing it back to you. You should receive it in the next few days. I am still glad I had a chance to meet you after all those long chats.

    To finally answer the questions:

    Did you start your sugar dating journey with any predetermined limitations or boundaries? If so, have you always adhered to them? Why or why not?
    I started out with absolutely zero limitations and still have none. Every situation is different and warrants a unique approach. However this may have more to do with the fact that the traditional relationship I was involved in slowly turned into something that more resembles an arrangement.

    What aspect of sugar do you find most alluring if not addictive? Having the hottest dates ever? Enjoying the finer things in life? I am more thrilled with the intangible aspects than I am with any gifts. I enjoy the company of successful interesting people and sometimes crave the attention/time of someone whose time is very valuable. Of course, being able to enjoy a nice dinner or small trip and escape the usual financial worries of a student can do wonders for my energy levels/productivity/confidence, etc.

    How are things in your sugarlife lately? Any new potentials, dates, or changes come up? Nobody new…the same person for well over a year now. A short trip for Christmas to re-energize ourselves.

  598. Michael Alleycat says:

    Hey LadyIntim – been a good boy chasing bad girls, and a bad boy chasing good girls. You know how it goes.

    Trying to find a decent long term #1 who is straight forward, and not a flake. Difficult. But my #2 is still around, very reliable, no problems, just works well.

  599. NYC SB says:

    Sigh … Paris sd reached out to see me tonight … I think as much as I want to see him I will have to say no

  600. Gemi says:

    I would also love a partially international SD… but not now. Maybe in the summer when I’d have more time to travel. I know that it sounds lovely in theory, but I have to wonder exactly how lovely it is in practice.

    Hmm.

    Off to a 2nd meet date tonight lovely ladies and gents!! Wish me luck and lots of sugary hope!! I am excited about seeing him again and am curious as to what the night will bring….

  601. VillaCypris says:

    happy saturday everyone!

    truly from “the tundra” today…. we already have 12″ of snow in minneapolis! the winds are insane, too, it looks like it’s raining snow!

    Sara – i would LOVE to have an international SD… if you have the opportunity, I would definitely explore it! London is a great city! :)

  602. carebear says:

    Girly-I agree with OC…if you messed up, apologized profusely, and he still doesn’t want anything to do with you, the money won’t make a difference. It probably didn’t do much damage to his worth to give it to you in the first place, it won’t change his life to get it back. In other words, the money means nothing, the apology should, but apparently it didn’t.

    Move on, learn from your mistakes, and don’t do it again. It will lead to other successful sugar relationships in the first place.

    You’re letting your emotions get involved…..don’t! This world is NSA! Cut the string!

  603. TexaSugah says:

    Twice-what cultural precautions are you referring to? I was married to a Turk so… I don’t see any difference between them and others I have run into.

    Since this is a sugar deal, I’m playing it by ear. I’m just very well acquainted with the language and culture. Nothing to be cautious of.

    You must think something negative. At least your comment lends one to think so.

  604. @LadyIntim – hi!!! Still lurking? Let’s catch up soon. I need someone local to slap some sense into me.

  605. TexaSugah says:

    Blog spirits and angels.. Please share my email addy with Lisa.

    Thanks

  606. girly says:

    thank you SD twice.
    what do you mean if he doesnt have a heart condition.

  607. SD TWICE says:

    thanks for a nice night.

    I hope you were sick just that night and that you have been feeling better since.

  608. SD TWICE says:

    Spell aweful like awful.

  609. SD TWICE says:

    TexaSugah sounds like she’s got some inventive strategies that will be interesting to see how they pan out.

    What precautions are needed for cultural differences when dealing with the Turks?

  610. girly says:

    does it sound good.. anything i should change in it or add?

  611. Bela says:

    I agree with TWICE. It would show him your sincerity.

  612. SD TWICE says:

    I think you should try it if he doesn’t have a heart condition. Being sincere is almost unique.

  613. girly says:

    I still think i should maybe send the money back. I feel bad about it. What do you guys think of the letter im going to send with it.

    I wanted to apologize again for all the unnecessary stress I caused you. I really should not have drank that much and let my judgment slide. I hate the fact im using my intoxication as a reason to explain myself. I’m very sorry for what happened. It was an innocent mistake and I feel aweful. Under the circumstances I can’t in good concious accept the money which you kindly gave to me . I am going to be mailing it back to you. You should receive it in the next few days. Im glad I had a chance to meet you after all those long chats, thanks for a nice night, its too bad you got sick. I hope it was just that night and that you have been feeling better now.

    I hope you find it in your heart to forgive me and possibly give me a chance to make it up to you. I would really like that.

    thoughts?

    • OCSugarBaby ♥ says:

      @ girly, NO NO NO NO NO let me just be clear N-O
      Write the letter if you want then crumple it up and throw it away. He doesn’t want to hear it. Put the money in the bank and MOVE forward and be a better sugar. Period. Stop beating yourself up over this and the rest of us for not listening to good advice. WE forgive you, now get on with finding another sugar and remember what important lessons you have learned. You will undoubtably learn many more. I know I have!

      • OCSugarBaby ♥ says:

        You have said you were SORRY and he still does not want to hear from you so, you are sincere. No one will think otherwise. But just move on.

  614. Bela says:

    OCSB is right, girly. Treat it as a lesson learned, forgive yourself and move on. Just remember that when getting to know each other, especially on the first meet, you give yourself a few simple rules: 1) Don’t get drunk (aside from putting yourself in danger, you make yourself out to be an alcoholic); 2) Don’t touch what isn’t yours 3) Show him the best parts of you (the not so great parts have a way of showing themselves soon enough.)

  615. girly says:

    Hey everyone..

    I was really hoping someone could give me some advice on how to fix my situation i put myself in. i commented on it on the last blog. About how i was incredibly stupid and intoxicated and completely letme judgment slide. which is absolutely not like me to do. Im a normal sweet girl. He was sick and went to bed. I went and got him ice and water and was soo worried about him. he even commented on cute I was being caring for him. Thats the kind of person I am. not the kind of person who would try and log onto someones computer. I am really beating myself upabout this and feel aweful about the whole thing.. I need to try and make it better on some level with him. I would love any suggestions. Last night when I was laying there and couldnt sleep thinking about the whole situation i created. and Im thinking of sending a cheque back to him with the amount he gave me and then emailing him a note letting him know im sending the money back and that i cannot keep it given the situation and my conscious.. … Its not my goal get him back as a SD. I know he isnt going to trust me. (altho i would love if he did give me another chance cuz i would treat very good cuz i feel really bad and he was incredibly nice when we met). SO what do you thinkabout the cheque idea??

    • OCSugarBaby ♥ says:

      @ girly – This is one you really should just let go of and put it behind you. Lesson learned. No harm no foul. Ok a few party fouls but nothing you can’t learn from and NOT do again. You will be fine as soon as you allow yourself to move past it and forgive yourself. ~warm sugar hugs ~OC

  616. @Sara

    I have a SD who spends time both in the US and this country, and those are the two countries I spend time in. It is actually great, because we are not exclusive, and we can continue to see each other no matter which country we are each in, because there is always some overlap since he goes back and forth quite often. Not to mention, if he is in the opposite country as me for too long, I can get him to fly me over to spend some time with him (and then push back my return date to see some of my friends!) It is also kind of really nice to be able to experience the finest that two different countries have to offer… so many travel options!

  617. Midwest SB says:

    Bela – It’s the perfect day to go to a salon that serves wine and get the full monty!

  618. Midwest SB says:

    Goooooooooood Morning sugars!

    Did you start your sugar dating journey with any predetermined limitations or boundaries? If so, have you always adhered to them? Why or why not?
    My boundaries are mostly about finding balance in the connections emotionally and keeping sugar separate from IRL.

    What aspect of sugar do you find most alluring if not addictive? Having the hottest dates ever? Enjoying the finer things in life? All of it! I love “leaving it all behind” and having an exciting weekend seeing shows, having amazing, shameless sex, sharing new experiences and helping my partner get away from it all. It’s a great day when my SD is relaxed, not thinking about work, and truly enjoying himself.

    FLSD – It sounds like you’ve had the ideal sugar baby – I love your description of that amazing escape!

    Gemi – If you e-mail me your profile number, I can take a look. I liked your profile you used last year! Blog deities, could you please send her my e-mail?

    Sara – The international SD could be a nice setup. If he comes in regularly, you can visit during his trips, set up a regular allowance and maybe even get invited to London! Sweet!

  619. Bela says:

    amen stephan

  620. Bela says:

    Watching the rain fall, wondering if it’s worth it to go out and get my nails done. hmmm

  621. stephan says:

    @Gemi: Sarah’s been sent your private email addy. May the sugods be good to us all this weekend! :)

  622. Gemi says:

    10th? I’m awful at counting.

    Did you start your sugar dating journey with any predetermined limitations or boundaries? If so, have you always adhered to them? Why or why not?

    Yesss, duh. My private IRL life is just that… private. And I’m really trying to do this like a guy…. in so much as this is FUN but not anything serious. Not get too entangled emotionally-wise, keep my wits about me and just enjoy enjoy enjoy.

    What aspect of sugar do you find most alluring if not addictive? Having the hottest dates ever? Enjoying the finer things in life?

    eiii I just enjoy being gifted and treated well!! :) lol I’ve never been spoiled in traditional dating realtionships and love love love getting gifts (high end gifts, mmm) and spoils. And in return, having a guy who thinks I’m awesome just becaue I’m cute and fun is terrific.

    How are things in your sugarlife lately? Any new potentials, dates, or changes come up?

    Two 2nd dates are coming up, a visit to my gift daddy is fast approaching :) and then somewhere in the middle of that, if the two 2nd dates fizzle out, then a profile re-haul is in order.

    Blog gods, can you forward my email to Sara please? I think she said she wanted to take a stab (and a pair of editorial scissors) to my profile. Thanks!

  623. Michael Alleycat says:

    Hmmm. Fourth or eighth?

  624. FL-SD says:

    @Carebear… Aww ! Thanks…
    @ Sara. Agree with you . Arrangements work best when each partner tries to make it all about the other person. Everybody is giving equally.

    Boundaries are interesting. I think each arrangement has it’s own unique set of boundaries… and the good ones can be negotiated over time as the partners to the arrangement see a need to renegotiate

  625. Sara says:

    Did you start your sugar dating journey with any predetermined limitations or boundaries? If so, have you always adhered to them? Why or why not?

    Yes. I decided not to do anything that makes me remotely uncomfortable or that I might question. No matter how enticing the offer may be. The highest offer for an allowance I ever got (in the 15-20k rage) I had to turn down, because the man was so inconsistant and things he said made me concerned.

    What aspect of sugar do you find most alluring if not addictive? Having the hottest dates ever? Enjoying the finer things in life?

    I love that it all about me, and that I make it all about him. Its like “relationships light”. We only do the fun stuff (dates, shopping, sex) and none of the negative parts of a relationship (arguments, jealousy, drama)

    How are things in your sugarlife lately? Any new potentials, dates, or changes come up?

    My sugar life is luke warm lately :(. My main person sort of fizzled out and my only two legitimate pots are not local. Not only are they not local, they aren’t “I can be local for the right girl”. One I would see every 3 months or so (so he is like an extra bonus) and the other one spends 3 weeks in the U.S. and than two months in London, 3 weeks in the U.S. and two weeks in London, etc.

  626. carebear says:

    PS – I like FL SD’s answers =)

  627. carebear says:

    3rd! Finally don’t have 800 comments to read and catch up on! I think the blog is getting more traffic these days than the website itself.

    Yes I started with boundaries, limitations, expectations and standards…since they have only risen. Spoiled brat? Yeah probably.

    I think the idea of being the ‘extra-marital mistress’ is hott. But the group that agrees is probably quite small.

  628. FL-SD says:

    Now to answer the topic questions:
    WRT boundaries: Of course sugar lives invite own compartment in life. While it’s a valuable and enjoyable experience there are emotional boundaries that are respected.
    As for the most addictive parr of sugar… well the right SB can create an amazing escape… that place that recharges your spirit, where there’s an absence of stress and drama. it’s that space to getaway from it all for a few hours or days… that place can become pretty addictive.

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