7 years ago
Sugar Relationships: Gaining Respect, Drawing Envy

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Sugar Daddies have been receiving more recognition for their role in society than ever before, with more information about the real people who live the sugar lifestyle being shared and discussed online, in books, on TV, in the movies, and in hair salons and coffee shops.

It’s estimated that over 3 million Sugar Daddy and Baby profiles have been created since 2006.

The fact that some women are seeking Sugar Daddies despite not having any financial need doesn’t come as a surprise to many here, but non-sugars are often unaware of how SD/SB relationships can be just as complex and varied as any other relationship configuration.

Why Sugar Daddies are ‘In’:

Show Off Sugar Daddies: Even ‘self-made’ millionaires like Paris Hilton are finding Sugar Daddies to help make life a little sweeter. Paris’ new Sugar Daddy  recently spent nearly $5 million on champagne for her and her friends.

College Degree’s Don’t Guarantee Financial Stability:  While having a college degree is still a definite advantage in today’s  workplace, it doesn’t always equate to a high paying job  (especially if your degree has anything to do with kids…)

Perhaps the underlying reason behind much of societies contempt for the sugar lifestyle is envy. Sugar relationships are constantly being  glamorized, vilified,  sugar-coated and scapegoated, but the sugar phenomena is no trivial matter.

Do you think society gives fair treatment to those in Sugar Daddy relationships?

How would people you know really feel about your sugar-life if they knew about it? Would some of them be jealous?

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445 Responses to “Sugar Relationships: Gaining Respect, Drawing Envy”

  1. Very good information. Lucky me I discovered your site by accident (stumbleupon).

    I’ve bookmarked it for later!

  2. Bahama_babe says:

    How many pot. s/d’s do you go through before finding the right one?.. Not nearly enough. I know they exist where im from but i dont ever seem to come across any.

  3. deardaddy says:

    @Chicago: How many pot SD’s before you meet the right one? No idea, but maybe its the same stats on the other side of the table: How many SB’s before I find one I would like to spend more than 1 hour with. It varies, but I would say, on the average, about 5. But again, it all depends on luck and timing. You could meet your perfect match on your first or second try.

    The number also depends on what EXACTLY you are looking for. If you want a 30 multi millionaire with a private jet who also looks like a younger George Clooney, it could take some time. I know they do exist, but finding him , in your exact geographical proximity could take some serious looking around.

  4. I have a question?

    How many pot. s/d’s do you go through before finding the right one? grr…it’s getting frustrating…

  5. no problem. Hope I was able to help at all. :)

  6. BrownEyedGal says:

    @Chicago SC
    Thanks….I’ll work on it more….

  7. adoc says:

    michael- yes theres chemistry. :) just as i was about to give up- however i havent seen any formation of allowance yet- so not counting my chickens yet- however he said ‘im perfect’ so by that i assume i am 😛

  8. Chicago Sugar Baby says:

    @ Brown – I looked at your profile and think it would help if you put better pictures up of you and show your personality and in different social situations. You know one casual, one dress up, and then one close up. You gotta sell yourself. Your description is good but is very lengthy. You want to make it short and to the point but having them wanting to know more.

    if you want to look at my profile you can. I dont think mine is perfect but have gotten good results from it. A lot of guys have messaged me just curious to know more about me. #519947

    Hope this helps.. Good luck!

  9. RookieSB says:

    To all of you who’ve commented on my posts: thank you thank you thank you. I appreciate all of it soooo much! Regular Joe gets back into town soon (he works far away most of the time) and I’m really looking forward to seeing him. Still waiting to see how things go with this whole ‘experiment’… Have a date with Pot SD this week. I’ll send you all an update soon.

    Much love, thanks and respect to you all, truly.

  10. BrownEyedGal says:

    Hi guys,

    My profile is up, I wonder if anyone can critique it. Thanks.
    # 493822

  11. SanDiego sb says:

    thanks you guys for your advice, i really did enjoy his company and we are still in contact almost daily even when hes out of town, my birthday is in a week and hes going to take me to lunch.

    seems like all of you were right.
    😉

  12. Midwest SB says:

    BiBaby – If he’s single, make sure you set expectations up front…not just stating in your profile, but making sure he understands you are not looking to change your family life.

    As for the art of kissing…every guy is different, so follow his lead. I have to say that if you tell him you don’t like to kiss, he will likely wonder if you like to do “other” things like oral, etc. Sorry, but guys love that stuff and it could come off the wrong way. Since this is your issue and not his, try having mints handy. stopping occasionally for a sip of something, or finding ways to compromise. Personally, I find kissing to be very sexual and passionate. Bad breath can go away…a great kiss can linger well after he is gone :-)

    Evening sugars!

  13. cleo says:

    incidentally the new blog is up and working now…

  14. carebear says:

    Yeah they posted it and then it disappeared. They weren’t prepared for our attack.

    So more importantly. I’m at work and pot SD from yesterday texts and asks if we can get together….right away. We had said we would have dinner in a week and then this out of left field. I don’t have plans tonight but immediately said maybe because I’m not too sure how to handle his abruptness. We didn’t talk about an arrangement yesterday and said we would leave that awkward conversation till our next dinner which would be tonight. So I have no motive to jump other than the fact that I have a hunch that this will be a good thing. But I don’t want him to get the idea that everytime he says jump ill say how high. Or do I want to gain his confidence by making it happen and impress him even more.

    Tricky scenario.

  15. cleo says:

    i don’t even see it

  16. Yaz says:

    New blog??? I can’t click on it…

  17. bicentennial baby says:

    @SDGuru,

    Well if it all pans out that he’s as much of a gentleman as Richard Gere, I think my anxiety might vanish and the outcome wind up great.

    PDA is just fine with me, I’m meeting a state away from my own and no one there will know me. This is why I do not fish in my own backyard, so to speak, because I don’t want to hamper my SD’s comfort level with that sort of thing because I’m always looking over my shoulder. This pot SD is also divorced (no wife or gf) so that may be why he’s more eager to begin a more affectionate relationship than perhaps the married ones are.

    I think it will work out, I really like this gentleman and he’s a sweetheart so we’ll see what happens I guess!

  18. cleo says:

    okay i caught up.

    so blog… i have to put someone up for four nights as part of a workshop i am hosting and it’s pretty painful. does anyone happen to have more marriott points than they can use in their lifetime and feel like helping a girl out?

    :)

  19. cleo says:

    College SB: well said milady. you makes your own choices and you lives with them. don’t do anything that will put your life at real risk and don’t do anything that will tarnish the eyes looking back at you in the mirror.

    otherwise? an it harm none, do what thou wilt!
    .
    carebear: i like to rock the black pencil skirt, black almost work hot top, black pumps and rock star hair with really understated makeup thing. or the skinny jeans with heels and a simple top combined with business hair. you know, mix it up just enough to not quite fit the ‘business’ mold but totally enough to stand out just a little in a room full of suits.
    .
    rookie: tell ‘regular joe’ that you are dealing with a lot of stuff, you really like him but you can’t give him proper attention until after christmas. make sure he knows you dig him but that serious dating is just impossible for a few months.

    he will probably say ‘that’s cool, would you like to casual date in the mean time?’

  20. NYGent says:

    BiCentennial: I do understand your dilemma. I had a pot SB once with whom I became “intimate” on second date, but she made it clear (and was very vocal) that she did not want “affectionate.” That sort of killed my interest and we parted ways, but I think it’s a pretty common attitude on the part of SBs on the site so you are not in the minority at all.

  21. cleo says:

    yaz: thanks bella!

    i know what you mean about the falling for, but i have also realized i am more cold blooded about it now. if you don’t ding all my boxes i’m going to keep looking… ahh real life SD boyfriend, sounds lovely. happy for you!
    .
    as for the questions, my family knows i am now looking for executive men instead of bums. to quote my mother

    “it’s about time, for some reason you dropped out of your class when you were 18, it’s nice to see you heading back into it”

    so yeah, they might not call it sugar but they still approve of the sentiment
    .
    Ms Taken: um i was on there for a while, probably still am. total dearth of action.

  22. A-doc – sounds like you scored a good one! You mention he’s hot, but you didn’t mention if there is any chemistry between you two?

  23. NC Gent says:

    I agree whole-heartedly with NYC SB — you should behave like traditional dating – the twist is the financial aspects and a larger age-difference.

  24. NYC SB says:

    Most aspects of sd dating are not that different from regular dating… So when in doubt ask yourselves: What would I do if this were a date with someone I have had a crush on?

    • SD Guru says:

      @Bicentennial Baby
      the concept of intimacy (i.e. sex) doesn’t bother me in the least! It’s the intimate act of kissing itself that I think is putting me in a dither.

      Interesting… that reminds me of a scene from Pretty Woman when Julia Robert’s hooker friend told her it’s ok to have sex with a client but no kissing on the lips. Of course she went ahead and kissed Richard Gere on the lips and the rest is movie history. What I’m getting at is this… You probably won’t find a SD who thinks kissing and other ways of showing affection is not important. So no matter how ready you think you are, it’s a hurdle you’ll have to cross at some point. What about PDA, is that off limits too?

      @Carebear
      so sophisticated with a touch of slut.

      Kudos to you if you can pull off that look! :)

      @SunnyPeach
      I’m new to sugar & I love reading your blogs. Wish u were in sunny South Florida.

      Good luck to you and thanks for reading my blog! How do you know I’m not in South Florida?? 😉

      @RookieSB
      as long as he is none the wiser then my choices right now with the two other men could ultimately improve my future, which could in turn improve my future with this regular guy…

      Exactly! But the problem is that most guys who are the BF of a SB don’t see it that way. They’re not open minded or mature enough to know that their GF’s sugar relationship will ultimately benefit their relationship. Sometimes jealousy from the BF or SD ultimately dooms both relationships.

      @NC Gent
      you should behave like traditional dating – the twist is the financial aspects and a larger age-difference.

      Don’t forget the NSA aspect!

  25. aspiring-doc says:

    Hey guys

    Michael- glad u enjoyed ur trail. also read u did the milford sounds- tres beautiful!

    I take it bck. had one last pot date last night. it was more a ‘this isnt going to work’. Infact I was so halfhearted – i showed up straight from the hospital- after changing into jeans (albeit nice dark figure huggign jeans) and taking a quick shower. super super casual (but I did warn him I hadnt had time to turn around).

    I had a nice suprise though. 30yo- super hot and a travelling executive.
    hes in my city at least once (sometimes twice) a week and wants to meet up between2-3 times a month. allowance: 2-2.5k
    plus he mentioned he wants to get lasik surgery (im sooo keen) so hes happy to pay for me if i go with him. (no more glasses or contacts!)
    Plus: trips aborad in my break if I want them . hes also keen for fun thigns like bungy jumping and skydiving :D. Plus hes near my age- so alot easier to appear ‘regular’.

    I wonder if theres a catch!

    ps on clothes: I dnt know- I usually dont try all that hard- im not big on makeup either. I dress if the occassion calls- but usually for a first meet: nice jeans, sexyish top and heels. also depends on sds age- too old and id rather make it seem a) like a buisness interview or b) like im his niece -in which case alot of cleavage or leg raises eyebrows!

    I reckon confidence speaks louder than what you wear anyway.

  26. Ivory says:

    Not sure if I got lost in the shuffle…where are all these blogs?

  27. Malia says:

    Hi everyone! I’m new here and new to this. Just looking around and hoping to find one special SD.

  28. Dandelion Wine says:

    Rookie, if you are really serious about the Regular Joe, maybe you could tell him that you need to work double shifts/overtime (which is not THAT far from the truth) because you want to pay off your debt by December, and that you would like to take a break with an understanding that the relationship will resume in 3-4 months, when you are able to give him your undivided attention.
    That would allow you to be more ethical with your SDs, honest with the man you think about sharing a life with, and resolve your own moral dilemma, if you have one.
    Who knows, maybe Regular Joe will step up to the plate and offer to help you pay off the debt; because if he thought about marriage and combining of finances with you, he probably figured you have debt, and he would appreciate that you are trying to be proactive and responsible about it. And hey – you’d get to be taken care of by the man you want to be with, which is all the sweeter.

    On the other hand, Regular Joe might turn out to be a Regular John and act accordingly. Which is not necessarily the worst outcome. You’d get to concentrate on paying off your debt and will have avoided sacrificing your financial security for some loser.

  29. Your welcome Rookie!! It is always good to get other people’s opinions in tough situations. I myself always go by the saying “treat others as you would like to be treated” because I know if the shoe was on the other foot I would rather my bf dump me instead of dragging me along while he goes out and does his thing while I’m sitting there waiting for him.

    @ deardaddy I like your advise also.

    Goodnight everyone and wish me luck! I’m meeting with a pot SD tomorrow morning. Hopefully all goes well!

  30. Michael AZ Alleycat says:

    @carebear – “brooks brothers button down and twill skirt with some skanky pumps….so sophisticated with a touch of slut”

    Definitely my kind of girl …

  31. Yaz says:

    Damn Cleo, that first pic is muy caliente… 😉

  32. cleo says:

    okay so yeah, i’m like 200 comments behind, seriously, half a page.

    um hi.

    :)

  33. BicentennialBaby says:

    @SDGuru,

    I had thought what you mentioned but the concept of intimacy (i.e. sex) doesn’t bother me in the least! It’s the intimate act of kissing itself that I think is putting me in a dither. I have read some escorts (and I am nowhere in that category) draw the line there because it is a personal, invasive type exchange. To me, sex is not, it is a novelty and a purely fun, physical act. I’m not fearful of having some raunchy or gentle fun playtime with a companion I am attracted to (so long as we are safe), I am more bothered I guess by doing something that seems to be much more based in affection and less on a physical pleasure plane.

    Does that make sense? This is why I don’t think I am unready to be an SB, I don’t hae any fear of the mutual benefical part, just trying to fake an emotion that I may not be prepared to express. But I dont’ think being intimate on the 1st meet is a good idea either even though I would find that far easier perhaps even than making out with someone.

    Does anyone else understand my dilemma?

  34. Yaz says:

    Rookie~ DearDaddy is right. I would def not tell your SDs about Regular Joe. Many married blogger SDs have stated in the past that they would not feel comfortable having a SB who has a bf on the side. It might be surprising but a lof of them prefer a SB who wants to be exclusive, not one who juggles another SD or bf part time. I am glad you are doing this to get out of debt. It is very wise to want to use your allowances to pay off debt and be financially independant. I always tell pot SDs that gifts are great but a closet full of designer clothes and shoes does not mean much to me if my bills are not paid lol…

  35. Yaz says:

    Love maxi dresses especially the printed ones. :)

  36. deardaddy says:

    @RookieSB:

    Wow: 2 SD’s and a regular Joe?

    I say, get out of debt first. After all December isn’t that far away. You can see each of the SD’s once a week (during the week) and then still have plenty of quality time with Regular Joe on the weekends.
    And if Regular Joe demands to see you more often, tell him you are tied up (literally or figuratively!). This will make you even more alluring…

    Whatever you do, DO NOT tell any of the SD’s about your regular Joe friend. They may think you are taking their money and giving it to some deadbeat BF (whether right or wrong doesn’t matter, that’s what they will think)

    Let us know how it works out.

  37. deardaddy says:

    Clothes?
    That’s actually pretty easy, but so many SB’s mess it up, at least based on some that I’ve seen.
    What is your personality type, and you body type? What are you trying to project? Classy? comfortable and casual? Hopefully not slutty! But you will be surprised the percentage that show the latter.
    Once you have decided your type and what you are trying to project, dress accordingly. Don’t have to overspend and impress, because chances are the SD has seen women in their fanciest attire already, and if he is really well off, he will not get impressed by that. What will impress, however, is if you have succeeded in putting together the ‘total package’. Casual comfort is my favorite (but no faded jeans please, especially for dinner), and the right combo of jewelery, cleavage (juuuust enough), and makeup.
    Show confidence. I believe that’s more important than the actual piece of clothing you end up wearing!
    Just my opinion

  38. carebear says:

    Clothes! My favorite topic!

    So on my first date with my main SD, I wore a brooks brothers button down and twill skirt with some skanky pumps….so sophisticated with a touch of slut. He’s mid 50’s, very classy, very popular, so we had to have the “of course I’m interviewing this 24 year old girl over drinks at 9 pm at this b rated bar”.

    I went on a first potential date with a new SD today and it went great. he was 40’s, owns his own business so he can wear what he wants and wore khakis and a golf shirt. I wore a BCBG maxi dress that looked stunning but showed some decent cleavage. we had drinks in the middle of the afternoon so not many people were around to see us.

    i think non descript business attire is the best default. maybe a cute/sexy top instead of an oxford or something super traditional. and always heels.

    =)

  39. SunnyPeach says:

    @SD Guru I’m new to sugar & I love reading your blogs. Wish u were in sunny South Florida. I could learn so much from you. Well, I do…blog on!!! :-)

  40. RookieSB says:

    ChicagoSugarBaby and SDGuru – THANK YOU! I can’t convey what a relief it truly is to talk to you about this situation… Chicago, I can very much appreciate you getting out of your relationship w/ a regular guy in order to pursue the SD in the hopes of improving your situation. I, too, have contemplated breaking up w/ Regular Joe, as I value my independence and the need to get ahead. The problem is that I truly have feelings for this guy, and I see a future there. With my two SD’s, they are both married, things are still quite platonic (though I am sure this won’t last) and I know our arrangements will end when I feel they should (ie, in about four months). After all, they are both married and also lead separate lives. There isn’t a real future with either of them, whether or not I am single.

    SDGuru, this brings me to your enlightening takes on the dilemma. My instincts tell me that things w/ Regular Joe are still fairly new, and as long as he is none the wiser then my choices right now with the two other men could ultimately improve my future, which could in turn improve my future with this regular guy…

    I’m going to see how things pan out. Worst case scenario, I feel awful and will have to break things off with my SD’s, and then find other means of decreasing the debt I have.

    Again, thank you all for your opinions and advice so far. This little community is fabulous and I truly appreciate it! Cheers, until next time 😉

  41. Ivory says:

    Hi all,

    I am interesting in seeing all these blogs that people write. How do I find them. I am curious to know more about the lives of fellow SD/SB’s. I also am meeting with my potential soon. I am excited!

  42. Rookie- I was in a relationship with a guy but ended it as soon as I started talking to pot sd. I just didn’t feel it was fair to him that I was not being completely honest with him. I hurt him by breaking up with him but he ultimately respected my decision and we hope to maybe work things out in the future when i’ am fully ready to commit to him. Like you I am also in a lot of debt and to me it is more important to get my life straightened out so that in the end I will be happier and able to give all I can to the right guy when the time is right. Hope I was able to help. Good Luck!

  43. SouthernGent2 says:

    RookieSB – balancing all that is going to stress you out. No matter what you do, Regular Joe is going to eventually see a difference in you. You are going to have to make some tough choices soon. Good luck.

  44. Yaz says:

    FirstDate~ Whatever you feel COMFORTABLE and beautiful in :)
    I personally rarely go shopping for a first date. Nothing more distracting than a new pair of shoes that hurt your feet, or a skirt that is too tight or keeps riding up, etc..
    I want my clothing to be the last thing I have to worry about during the date. I make sure that my hair and nails look nice and my outfit is comfortable, classy yet sexy.
    When you look good, you feel good about yourself….. and it shows! :)
    Good luck!

  45. FirstDate says:

    Thanks, NCGent and Yaz! Really looking forward to meeting this guy and hope it works out… Now what to wear?!

    Thanks again, take care 😉

  46. Yaz says:

    First date~ It really depends on the SD…..When I was going on first sugar dates, I did not expect anything more than my travel expenses to be reimbursed ( which the SD and I talked about way before the meetings).
    I do let any pot SD know that I would like him to show me that he is serious about a possible arrangement early on ( second, third dates) but never on the first date. Expecting him to give me a token of appreciation would feel as if I was putting a price tag on our date. But that is just me….I did have one SD who gave me a $$ gift on our first date but that is because he insisted that we meet on a day that did not work for me ( I had a hard time taking the day off from work ) so he told me that he would pay for my lost wages.
    So other than a nice dinner, reimbursement for travel expenses ( if you do not live in the same city as your pot SD) I did not expect or ask for anything else.

  47. NC Gent says:

    FirstDate — you shouldn’t expect anything but sometimes SD do provide small gifts to show interest. Best wishes on your date!

  48. Yaz says:

    Wow…I see quite a few people have decided to take a break from the sugar world. But I am glad they still visit the blog :) It is addicting, isn’t it ? :)

    LadyI~ Congrats!

  49. FirstDate says:

    Question for y’all:

    Should I expect anything from a Pot SD on our first date? As a sign of good faith, type thing? I obviously will expect that he pay for the drinks/dinner; but I recall hearing at some point that it’s normal for SD’s to give SB’s a token of their appreciation on first dates, in order to reassure the SB that they’re serious, etc.

    Lemme know what you think. Thanks! 😉

  50. kelliegirl says:

    is anybody ready to be happy
    i know i am
    thankyou

  51. RookieSB says:

    Dear Seasoned SB’s and SD’s,

    Like many bloggers here, I’m new to seeking an arrangement and need some advice, please! Here goes:

    I met a guy at a friend’s party about two months ago, and we’re now dating. Problem is, I had also just started dating a Pot SD (who is married, by the way). I have continued to see them both, and neither knows about the other. Please note that my SD recently suggested that I start seeing other SD’s if I wanted to (as my monthly allowance was not as high as I’d like). As such, I’ve recently met a second Pot SD with whom I would love to see for a few months (note: he is also married). These two SD’s are great guys, and with the combined monthly salaries from them both, I could be out of debt completely and them some by December this year.

    I want to keep seeing Regular Joe- and it’s sounding like he wants things to turn serious (which makes me happy, as my feelings for him are growing stronger). He has no clue I am in any such arrangement, and I know that if I were to tell him he’d end things.

    Given that I need very badly to get out of debt (and fast! -but I won’t get into that), I am driven to stay with these two SD’s; but I want to simultaneously date my Regular Joe without him knowing about these arrangements…

    Are there any SB’s out there who have been in such a predicament? Did it work out? Or did it blow up in your face? I would love to gain some more perspective on this dilemma, as I’m stressing pretty badly about it. Thanks, everyone. I appreciate having the ability to talk to you all about this!!! :)

    • SD Guru says:

      @RookieSB

      Thanks for sharing your interesting situation with the blog. Is it possible to juggle a serious BF plus two SD’s? Some will tell you it’s child’s play, while others will say you’re out of your mind. The reality will be somewhere in between based on your unique situation. I’ll give you some things to ponder as you sort things out in your own way.

      If getting out of debt by Dec is very important to you, then you could see both SD’s for another 3-4 months while keeping the BF without getting too serious (ie move in together). But how easy will it be to end the sugar relationship with your SD’s?? Would they understand and move on because it’s NSA, or would drama ensue?

      If you value the potential future with your BF and don’t want to do anything to jeopardize it, then keeping both SD’s is a high risk proposition. However, you’ve only known him for two months, how serious could it possibly get at this point?

      As you juggle all three, would your SD’s become resentful because they are somehow subsidizing your relationship with BF? Or, would you become resentful of Regular Joe because he is not in a position to provide for you like your SD’s?

      It could all work out great but it could also blow up in your face. Which way it goes depends on how you handle it. I had a similar situation years ago with a former SB who also had a BF that became serious. The situation got very complicated, her best friend got involved, and the whole thing ended in a train wreck for everyone. I’m not saying that will happen to you, but this kind of situation is not for the faint of heart. Good luck!

      @FirstDate
      Should I expect anything from a Pot SD on our first date? As a sign of good faith, type thing?

      Generally speaking, a SB should not expect anything from a pot SD on the first date when meeting for drinks/dinner locally to get to know each other. The pot SD may choose to provide something as a sign of good faith, and if it happens it should be a pleasant surprise. But it should be up to the pot SD and not something to be expected like an entitlement.

      If the situation is more complicated, such as involving travel, or if you mutually decide to move beyond drinks/dinner, then make sure you discuss the expectations for an arrangement so that there are no surprises for either side.

      @Bicentennial Baby
      he wishes to spend some time kissing and the like, and while I’m not adverse to that, I really don’t know how!… Should I be weirded out or is this a hangup that’s on my part?

      Interesting… if the simple act of kissing is causing you this much consternation, I wonder what happens when sex is involved?? Kissing, like sex, will happen when both people involved want it to happen. Perhaps you’re not as ready to be a SB as you thought?? 😉

      @Carebear
      how do i add their blogs to my list?

      Click on the avatar of your followers, that will take you to their profile which should show a link to their blog if they have one. Click on the link to go to their blog, then click on the “follow” button on the top left of the page.

      ————————

      Re: What to wear on a first date

      This seems to be a popular question from newbie SB’s. What I wrote back in June is shown below. I know it’s been discussed many times so if those who have addressed it before can send me what they wrote, I’ll compile a summary and post it in the “pages” section for quick reference in the future.

      What you should wear to meet a pot SD is a function of 4 factors to consider:

      1. Consider the age of the SD and the age difference. If there is a large age difference then you don’t want to dress in a way that draws attention to it because it might make him feel uncomfortable.

      2. Consider where you’re meeting. Lunch is usually more casual than dinner. Dress according to the type of restaurant (ie casual vs upscale) and location (ie downtown vs suburb).

      3. Consider your own style. You should be comfortable with whatever you decide to put on. An observant SD can usually tell if you’re doing something you don’t normally do or trying too hard to impress.

      4. Consider the SD’s style. If you know enough about him to know his style through pics, emails, or conversations, then see if your style is complementary to his. If not, make some adjustments to avoid an obvious clash of style.

      Be yourself, be comfortable, and be prepared to wow!

  52. Lily says:

    LadyI, congrats! I’ll miss your posts.

  53. carebear says:

    So shopping/potential sd meet was a bust. I ran into a guy I dated and/or had sex with from work and got cold feet and busted out of there.

    QUESTION! ok so some very nice people have taken it upon themselves to add my blog to ‘blogs i follow’ or whatever…..how do i add their blogs to my list? i click on their name and it says “add as friend” or something. i dont want to be their friend i just want to stalk their blog. I KID! am i doing this wrong??

  54. BicentennialBaby says:

    My search progresses….

    got a wonderful reply from a 50-something gentleman in my basic area and have decided to meet with him as one of my pot SD’s bailed on a weekend meeting after being difficult to reach to confirm anyway. I have a hard/fast rule to never pursue men so I will just let that go and if they return, great, if not, it’s a classy way of letting him decide. The new gentleman is soooo polite and has traveled the world and neither of us have brought up the arrangement details (very refreshing in a way) but will look to meet next week. I get a good “vibe” off of him and the comfort level thus far is high. He seems to be the type of guy I would naturally want to be affectionate with, so the sugar would not be difficult to enjoy for either of us if that holds true IRL.

    I have a bit of a dilemma to ask my sugar family about. I have a meeting later this week with a very nice man who is out of state and we will be seeing each other for the 1st time for a few hours before he teaches a symposium. He has offered generous things as my birthday falls later this week and I politely declined, not wanting to have him spend large amts of $$ and feeling disappointed since I do not wish to be intimate on the very 1st meet with anyone.

    My problem is that in communicating that, he wishes to spend some time kissing and the like, and while I’m not adverse to that, I really don’t know how! My DH does not kiss much and I never have been a fan esp as most people have horrible breath. If someone’s teeth are not perfect I can’t stand that either. I wouldn’t mind working into this but it was mentioned in the email that this would be the required alternative to intimacy, I guess to see if we have any chemistry.

    Should I be weirded out or is this a hangup that’s on my part? Is this a normal request? I honestly have only dated 3 people in my life and I married 2 of them, both were friends for years before we dated and the 3rd was a coworker. So there was no real formal “dating”, it was a hang-out situation. I’m not sure I know the proper etiquette for dating. If this were a normal dating situation, is this a normal progression for a 1st meeting and does the arrangement part of the relationship sort of move up the timetable?’ I fear were I ever to date in real life, I might just be a bit too slow a girl to be on the market, so to speak. Is it unreasonable for me to feel a little uncomfortable that this is expected, even though I probably would volunteer this within the next date anyway??

  55. Michael AZ Alleycat says:

    College SB – DandelionWine gave really good advice. Be very sure that you understand your reasons for wanting to jump into the sugar world. It can be a tough world.

    I also want you to look at the 5 year rule. What is the 5 year rule? I want you to imagine it is now 5 years in the future, and you look back to this time and the decisions you are making now. Were they good decisions? Was it the right thing to do? This is a really powerful technique, and has helped me make better life decisions, and has helped me’ – sometimes – doing some pretty stupid things.

  56. Michael AZ Alleycat says:

    Hey A-doc – trail was good, but calves hurting today.

    Hard to find a good SD, huh. Glad that you stopped the last SD, that had drama written all over it. Keep looking, you will find the right person. The one thing I have learnt is to take my time in the search – don’t take someone just because they are available. As you found out, there are a bunch of crazies out there with money.

    • SD Guru says:

      Did somebody ask about my measurement?? What ever it is, it’s definitely not as impressive as real 38D’s… 😉

      @Chicago Sugar Baby
      I meet with a guy on Tuesday and just wanted to get some advice on what do I ask? What should I wear? What is to be expected on a first time meeting like this?

      Take a look at “Questions every SB should ask” and “The 5 Stages of Sugar“. I hope this helps. Good luck!

      @College SB
      And as for this potential SD, I think it’s quite clear that we’re not going to have a full on relationship. He is very limited with time and honestly appears to just want my company and spoil me. While he obviously would like sex, he is far from pushy about it.

      If his interest is mostly platonic, then shouldn’t he look for someone who has more in common with him (ie common interests, common experiences, etc)? But don’t let any of us stop what you want to do. Sometimes the best way to learn is through your own experiences.

      @LadyIntim
      Hey, blog. So…I’m engaged!!

      Congratulations! When is the big day? Please post a pic of the rock! :)

      @NC Gent
      I have met a couple of SBs that were in their late teens. Both of them were just as mature (if not more mature) than the 20- and 30-something SBs that I have met. Age is just a number, and I think the level of maturity is dependent upon life experiences.

      Agreed. Was your interest in them mostly platonic? And what was the outcome of your meetings?

      @Sasha
      I met a guy who is into being a woman’s slave… The best part is he wants me to dominate him mentally, sexually, and financially. I DO NOT have to sleep with him… If this truly works out…I will say goodbye to the sugar daddy life for good and hello to submissive men.

      Thanks for the update, looks like you’ve found your niche!! Are you experienced in BDSM?? If you’re new, keep in mind there is a learning curve to go through until you know what you’re doing and be comfortable with it. It’s not as easy as it sounds! Looks like AM could use an apprentice… :)

  57. Michael AZ Alleycat says:

    Carebear – hugs all round ….

    Sasha – good to hear from you. Sounds like life is interesting!

    College SB – go for it, but listen carefully to what you feel and think as you go into. Always be prepared to walk at any time for any reason. Have your BS meter switched on at all times. You seem pretty smart – make sure you have your street smarts available at all times!! Let us know how it goes – we are all curious.

    As for me, I draw the line at about 26. Any younger and I run into the life experience gulf. Having said that, I have met 40 year old who couldn’t find their way out of.a paper bag, and 25 year olds who totally rocked my world. Just depends on the person.

  58. carebear says:

    I think we should all hug =)

    its a nice day out i’m going shopping (again)

    =) =)

  59. Sasha says:

    Wow its been soooo long since I posted, but its nice to see alot of the same people. There are alot of post on this topic that I can’t even try to catch up. I stepped out of the sugar world for a bit, because the emotions were getting to be too much. So much up and down and feeling like I’m the last puppy in the window begging for someone to adopted me. I know that I’m a great person and to want the acceptance of a man who has money just began to really wear on my soul. To some of the new sugar babies…I did have a blast in the sugar life. I did things that normally I would never get to do. Shopping, trips, attention….it was great, but also alot of hard work too. Relationships like this are pretty fun if you can make it work and not get hurt in the process. I have heard that the person who cares the most in the situation gets hurt the most. That is very true! I care way too much for people and I think that was a huge downfall. I’m not interested in normal dating because it bores me to tears, sugar dating takes a certain type of person.

    UPDATE ON ME: Crazy thing, but I met a guy who is into being a woman’s slave. Yes you heard me…a slave. He still wants to give me an allowance that is far better than any sugar daddy ever offered me on this site. The best part is he wants me to dominate him mentally, sexually, and financially. I DO NOT have to sleep with him. He just wants to kiss my feet, suck my toes….shit like that. Crazy huh? If this truly works out…I will say goodbye to the sugar daddy life for good and hello to submissive men. Anyway thought I would share. Can’t ever forget the SA family…..I’ll let everyone know how this turns out…or whoever cares….until later…

  60. Dandelion Wine says:

    Southern Gent, what do you mean “let her” ?
    Of course she is going to do whatever she wants, regardless of whether I , or anyone else, agree to “let her”. All I am suggesting is that she gives herself a chance to figure out what *she* really wants. And if she didn’t seem smart, I wouldn’t have even bothered :)

  61. NC Gent says:

    I have met a couple of SBs that were in their late teens. Both of them were just as mature (if not more mature) than the 20- and 30-something SBs that I have met. Age is just a number, and I think the level of maturity is dependent upon life experiences. Have fun college SB, and it sounds like you know to proceed with caution!

  62. SouthernGent2 says:

    I think you are being a bit rough on CollegeSB. Let her figure things out along her life journey. She certainly seems smart enough to do that.

  63. NYC SB says:

    Dandelion wine – that’s a great way to put it… I cannot let u know how many 18 year olds email me daily about the sugar bowl via my blog… I just want to shake them !

  64. Stormcat says:

    (looking wistfully toward the west)
    Goodbye . . . LadyI . . .
    We’ll really miss you! !!!

  65. sb-emy says:

    good advice dandelion wine, keep it coming

  66. Dandelion Wine says:

    College SB, are you taking inventory or are you making a sales pitch?
    In either case you only have yourself to convince.
    Playing a hard@$$ emotionless “sophisticated lady” doesn’t make you seem more mature/reliable/loveable, it makes you seem more wounded and easy to take advantage of, and trust – there are plenty of predators.

    Yeah, at 18 you know a lot of what there’s to know about the world, but at 15 you knew most of it, and at 13 you knew everything there was to know. Life is funny that way – the older and smarter you get, the less you know.

    Take your fearlessness and apply it to something that will matter your whole life – your education, career, life experiences that will make you a better, healthier, and/or happier person. There’s no point in testing your limits when the prize at stake isn’t much of a prize to begin with.
    Also keep in mind that usually you need to have a lot more intelligence to get yourself out of the situations than you needed to avoid getting into them.

    Before you make a lifestyle decision, you need to be completely, 100% honest with yourself. Because if you don’t know what *you* truly want, you will not be happy with what you get.

    If you had a genie grant you a wish in exchange for a year of your life, it would be very foolish of you to wish for a double order of chicken McNuggets, even if that was something you really really wanted at the moment.

    There’s a cost attached to everything you do, and you need to know the price before you decide to “buy”. Sorry, but at 18, you don’t know the price.

    Also, from what you wrote, it seems that you can’t even get what you want from your peers – i.e. equivalent intelligence level and life experiences. So HOW do you expect to get a “mutually beneficial arrangement” with someone who is 2 of your lifetimes older than you?
    If you can’t get a boy your age to max out his (or his parents’) credit card to take you on a nice date, not get “any”, and do it all over again better; if you can’t make a classmate who is a bona fide douchebag treat you like a lady; if you can’t inspire your trustfund-baby boyfriend to get a part time job to save up for a fun vacation with you – then you are not ready for the sugar bowl.
    Maybe ready to be an escort or P4P, but is that what you really want?
    If it is, then go for it.
    You (or someone else) mentioned Anna Nicole Smith… ANS has been severely depressed most of her life, drug addicted, lost her child to a fucked up life style, and herself died very young, very lost, and very brokenhearted. Do you REALLY think ANS is a good role model??!?!

  67. Chicago Sugar Baby says:

    Thanks Midwest SB for the heads up! Carebear took the time out to give me a little safety lecture on here ;). Which a greatly appreciate! Please friend me though and let me know where you are at. I would love to meet up with a sb for coffee.

  68. carebear says:

    college sb….where in nc? you dont have to answer that on here if you don’t want….my email is in my blog link….

    you remind me so much of myself when i first embarked on this ‘journey’..

    i went to carolina. miss yall down there =)

  69. Muse says:

    NYC SB – Competition for what? Not your affection, surely.

  70. Noir says:

    Hello sugar fam, it’s been a while, hope everyone is feeling sweet. Just got back from Pebble Beach, had a fab time. I see I’ve got alot of catching up on reading to do.

    @Midwest How have you been? Inbox me, smooches!!!!

  71. aspiring-doc says:

    Hey all,

    wow lots of posts- jsut seeign what everyone has been up to

    I have officially takena break fromt he sugar world- after the emotions got too much with my last SD. With the exception of my SD doctor in aussie who sends me textbooks and listens to me when ive seen a patient die or just cant handle things. ;). I havent figured out what he gets yet!

    I cant find anyone who works. Soem guys dotn get the process, other guys dont want to fork out anything. I had one guy said hed pay 5k a month but his emails were enough to put me off.
    All he asked was : what are u like sexually, what do u do in bed..
    oh god- it went on and on… I get u want sex- but thats just ridiculous.

    @michael- enjoy ur trail.

  72. College SB says:

    BrownEyedGal – Thank you for your compliment! :) To be honest though, what I want in a guy is far from what college boys can offer me. I’m just so disinterested in the college scene around me… it’s much too slippery and sweaty for my tastes. I feel like I’ve been there, done that… and I’ve also experienced a different facet of life, one that involves putting on heels, going out, and feeling like a lady in the company of a gentleman. I am so much more comfortable in the latter, probably due to how I was raised. Little did my family know that they were raising me up to be the perfect companion for older, successful men lol!

    SouthernGent2 – I’m in NC.

    SD Guru – I don’t personally claim to be the exception of all college girls. I’m just going off of what adults (male, female, potential SDs, just regular people) have told me. Granted, I do take most of it with a grain of salt since you can’t always trust what people say (especially when they want you in their bed naked), but it’s been a repeat pattern so there must be some truth within it. At the very least, I will say that I am mature enough to know that I do not have the life experience needed to claim true, in depth maturity. 😉

    And as for this potential SD, I think it’s quite clear that we’re not going to have a full on relationship. He is very limited with time and honestly appears to just want my company and spoil me. While he obviously would like sex, he is far from pushy about it.

    NYGent – I haven’t noticed any looks yet in public, although I’m sure people have thought some interesting notions. It doesn’t bother me though. If anything, it’s fairly amusing and almost like a naughty little secret lol.

    MidwestSB – I treat my sugar search with the utmost caution. Even though it may be a much more discrete part of my life, it is still ultimately part of my life and thus it is not something I can shove away into a deep abyss. Comfort is important to me. If something is making me feel bad, then I will stop – regardless of what (aka money) is involved. Some things don’t have price tags and my comfort with myself and who I am is one of them. I truly appreciate your advice though. I always take the words of experienced SBs to heart.

  73. Michael AZ Alleycat says:

    Uhhh …. I ain’t volunteering for that

  74. Stormcat says:

    I’m also going to need the other’s verified stats too and I can just take the measurements myself, but I’m not willing to take SDGuru’s measurements so I’m going to need a volunteer for that.

  75. Midwest SB says:

    Stormcat – Are you going to turn them into chocolate sundaes with cherries on top? Use them as molds for the 38D Jello shots? Hmmmm…I hear royalties! As for the latter, you’re going to have to go to the source for that one! (***whispers***Let me know when you find out Sherlock. )

  76. Stormcat says:

    Hey Midwest ~ 38Ds huh, that’s really impressive! I’m going to need more of that kind of data once I’ve selected an ad agency to start the promo campaign for the Godiva chocolate cherry jello tournament. Say you wouldn’t happen to know what size SD Guru’s are?

  77. Stormcat says:

    San Diego ~ He’s probably right. Just make sure you’re not one of them. Let him go and keep the friendship. When he sees that you are still there for him, you’ll earn his trust, and he’ll soon be back as your SD better than ever. Of course if you honestly are in it for the money the relationship is doomed anyway.

  78. Midwest SB says:

    SanDiego SB – At this point, you can’t really force/ convince/ beg/plead a SD to stay with you. Regardless of his reasons or excuses, you give him fireworks on your last night together and leave him with only amazing thoughts of you. Grace and dignity are very important here. (((hugs)))

  79. SanDiego sb says:

    hey sugar world, i have a question, ive had an sd in my same city for a few months now, and out of the blue he doesnt want to be a sd anymore, but wants to stay “friends” and he will “help me out as a friend but doesnt want an arrangement anymore” he says that he got screwed over at work by someone that was friends with him, and now hes paranoid that 90% of the people that are around him are only there because hes wealthy.

    what do you all think?

  80. Lily is around somewhere …. lurking …. plotting ….

  81. carebear says:

    NYGent-I shot 1 over on 9 with 4 birdies. The roller coaster continues.

    Michael-sounds like you had a great and successful weekend on your trail! Hope you enjoyed it…

    Midwest-I already got onto her about posting on here, glad I’m not the only protective one =)

  82. Stormcat says:

    Has anyone heard from Lily in the last couple of days?

  83. Midwest SB says:

    20 Candles – It is Mark!! You’re the winner of the ultimate experience……drumroll please….. a fabulous date with BH!!!! Funny thing is, I’m a 38D, so the error is on his part. BTW…they really are real AND fabulous! I blocked him.

    College SB – This could go either way. You will have your youth for some time, but I don’t know if I feel comfortable recommending someone your age (regardless of maturity) to join the sugar world just yet. If you do, please, please, please choose very carefully. Just read the article about the billionaire who flies in 13 y.o. girls from France simply to molest them for a few hours. There are some really creepy men out there and stealing one’s youth is an adventure for them. If you feel like your life experience has prepared you for the best/worst these gents can offer you, then do so carefully. Meanwhile, take it slow, using your youth, appearance and college status to attract a man who wants to put you through college. Not every man is a DJ, BH or PJ, but there are many fakes here.

    Michael – Nicely done! Time for a massage!

    Chicago Sugar Baby – welcome! I’m near Chicago myself! BTW – Please be careful what contact info you post as this is a very public blog with tons of lurkers.

    Carebear – it’s been lovely here and I’m a FL girl who loves the heat…go figure!

    Evening sugars!

  84. Stormcat says:

    Alleycat ~ kudoes :)

  85. NYGent says:

    Carebear: hope you had a good round. I play various places in NYC area, most often Blue Hill and Casperkill, but most of my rounds are at my home course in California when I get out there.

    college SB: the most important thing in 30-plus age difference relationships is your attitude. I had an SB roughly 30 years my junior and she let the stares and winks from others when we were together in public get to her. Ultimately she was just too embarrassed by the situation to follow through. It sounds like you’re cool with it, though, hope it works out for you.

  86. Michael AZ Alleycat says:

    Made it out in one piece. 15 miles, 4700 vertical feet each way, 7 hrs 10 mins. My knees hurt! Tough walk but absolutely doable in one day, if prepared.

  87. Chicago Sugar Baby says:

    I just wanted to give out my facebook to any of the Chicago SB’s out there since I dont know any other way to do it.

    http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=520882484

    Please feel free to friend me since I am new to all this and need all the support I can get! Thanks again

  88. Chicago Sugar Baby says:

    Hello everyone!

    I am very new to this who sb/sd thing but am extremely excited about it! I have been on here a week and have had 20 responses from some really nice guys who are genuine about wanting to help me. I meet with a guy on Tuesday and just wanted to get some advice on what do I ask? What should I wear? What is to be expected on a first time meeting like this?

    Since I am new to the community I would love to meet other SBs in Chicago since this is a lifestyle that not many people in my life would be to supportive of.

    To the question: How would others feel about my SB lifestyle?

    It’s funny because it was one of my best girl friends that told me about this because her friend did it and had an ongoing sb/sd relationship with the same guy for 2 years and he took care of her while she went to school. Then I told my other best friend who is married and she was completely disgusted with it and called me a prostitute. But I think that everyone views relationships differently. Some people put their whole heart into it and would never put money in the same sentence into a relationship (aka my married friend). Then there are others who constantly work and all they know is how to deal with people on a business level. So they prefer to make their relationships business because that is what is comfortable to them. Neither one is wrong but I think people should respect both sides.

    Sorry my post is so long but I that has been pent up inside and just needed to let it out since not a lot of people understand our situation. Thanks for listening! Have a great Sunday!

  89. SouthernGent2 says:

    CollegeSB – go for it. Its clear you are mature beyond your years.

    If nothing comes out of it, you got a free dinner and a very valuable life experience (or at least a pot sd meeting experience) out the meeting.

    Where are you located btw?

  90. Green Eyed Sugar Lady says:

    Hi Blog,

    @ NYGent the pot that bailed on your really didn’t know ahead of time that her roommate worked at the same place you had reservations? I think most people who have roommates usually know where they work. Hmmm.

    On the topic, does society treat SB/SD relationships fairly? I think that greatly depends on what part of society we’re talking about- I have been in some circles where it’s viewed as normal and acceptable, but I don’t think mainstream society views it that way, generally speaking.

    I don’t share this part of my life with coworkers, but recently did share with my mom without going into too great of detail (she doesn’t want details either.) Aside from concern for my safety she knows knows my situation and understands why, but I think she prefers to see it simply as “golddigging.” That’s fine with me if it makes her happy.

    A few of my friends know, only one is jealous, but unfortunately this is a common theme in our friendship, not exclusive to SD dating. I have been reevaluating our friendship because of this, actually. I enjoy supportive relationships with other women, not competitive ones.

    My search for more sugar continues, I do have a SD of sorts, but the frequency is limited and the sugar isn’t all that sweet. Without going into a lot of detail, at his request I arranged something really cool for him that I know will be a night to remember- but it took a lot of time and work on my part, and the compensation for my efforts was somewhat less than originally was anticipated. So I’m not very committed to this situation and have been meeting/arranging other meetings to see if anything good will come from it.

    Aside from that, enjoying my single life as I always do, aside from having to deal with my own spiders when I see one, and today I’m rearranging my furniture- I have a couple of heavy pieces and since it’s just me this is going to take most of the day. Think I’ll be skipping the gym. :)

    Have a great Sunday!

  91. BrownEyedGal says:

    Hello all,

    I read a lot of the previous blogs to get some ideas and I am stopping now since I need to be more productive in IRL “I think” :)… this is very addictive…almost like FB at first.

    Anyhow, I revamped my profile and expanded my descriptions (although it’s too long). I need your help to critique my message, grammar, the tone, cut some off etc.

    I’m still skeptical about putting more photos since I’m not ready to be discovered by my clan yet.

    My number # is 493822

    Thank you kindly,
    ~ moi

  92. Dandelion Wine says:

    Stormcat says:
    August 29, 2010 at 4:03 am
    Aw dunno wha thbeg dael eez . . . awuz thankin the aige awt tbay limted ta sumpin lak thartane.
    —————-
    Haha, that literally made me LOL. Especially thartane *chortle*.
    IF I write a book, there will be a character that speaks like that.

  93. BrownEyedGal says:

    @College SB
    When I first read your 1st post, I was alarmed thinking you might be a victim of DirtyOldMan antics. However you seemed to be way ahead of your time. I wish I was like you when I was your age. I’m 42 and yet you are showing more guts than me.

    However I wish that you can still enjoy your youth and dating guys your age because you will only be 18 once. There are lots of time in the future to be chasing grownups. Having said that, I don’t really know your financial situation or if that is the only reason you are entering SD/SB relationship then I keep my opinion to myself since I am unable to offer you help in that category.

  94. carebear says:

    Midwest-are you in Chicago? Its getting chilly here (NYC) and I don’t like it. =(

    NYGent Sorry about your date, golf is better anyway. Do you play in NY somewhere then? Im playing today. Golf makes me more frustrated. That said, I’m still playing today.

    Thank god I have a sexy date tomorrow (to relieve more frustrations =) )

    And I think we should give College SB some credit. The way she articulates herself makes me believe she would be older than 18. I’ve always gravitated towards people significantly older than me, and they usually lower their expectations because of my age or just blow me off completely. My SD is 56 and I’m 24, I think he’s sexy and I go crazy over the idea of the power and money but then he calms me down with his words and I love it. He loves being with me but constantly calls himself a creep and its driving me crazy.

    I digress. I say go for it. You seem to have a charm about you that has cast a spell on him. Have lunch, make him fall in love with you. Poof. You’re a sugar baby.

    • SD Guru says:

      @College SB
      you cannot automatically sweep a broad brush and say that we are all immature, mindless little twits coasting on our youthful looks.

      Of course, I’d never dare to accuse any 18yo of such things! :) Obviously you’re not an “average” 18yo, and everyone likes to think they’re the exception. But consider this… how many 18yo’s are mature enough to handle a boyfriend, let alone a sugar relationship with someone 35 years older. I’m not saying you shouldn’t go for it. I’m just saying it’s probably going to be harder than you think for both you and him. Good luck!

      For the SD’s out there… I understand the fascination with the 18-20 age group. But let the girls be girls and give them a few years to go through a few boyfriends and escapades so that they’ll be better prepared to handle sugar. I know there are always exceptions, but you’ll usually end up with a better experience by being patient.

      @Carebear
      make him fall in love with you. Poof. You’re a sugar baby.

      If only it were that simple. As the saying goes, be careful of what you wish for! :)

      @Dandelion Wine
      that’s not a SD, more like a SGrandpa.
      he obviously considers himself a founding father of what for generations has been known as the Itty Bitty Tittie Committee

      You just brought two new acronyms to the blog, SGP and IBTC! :)

  95. College SB says:

    Hello all,

    Yes, it is an immense age gap – very Anna Nicole Smith-esque. I can’t deny that I’m curious enough to go out to lunch with him and make a little conversation, mainly because he’s offering to be such a fantastic SD and sex isn’t being pushed at all. In all honesty though, it would definitely take a couple glasses of wine for me to shed my clothes (regardless of how comfortable I typically am naked) and that is a hindrance to the SD/SB dynamic.

    I know it’s verging (oh hell, it’s fallen off the cliff) on the border of creepy, but he’s so nice, respectful, and enamored with me. I met a mid 30s SD recently and while we had such a fun time together (albeit not much sexual chemistry, but the chemistry outside of bed more than made up for it), he didn’t seem to really get the whole gist of being a SD.

    SD Guru – Yes, while the majority of 18 year olds, including myself, do not have enough life experience in comparison to those older, you cannot automatically sweep a broad brush and say that we are all immature, mindless little twits coasting on our youthful looks. Men enjoy looking at me and thinking of all the benefits that come with my physical appearance, but they also like the fact that they can have a good conversation with me, take me out to a lovely dinner and other adult environments, and spend time with me that doesn’t include my phone attached to my hand or the word “like” exiting my mouth at two minute intervals. It’s true – I may not possess actual maturity due to my age and lack of experience, but I know how to act mature and that’s derived from the breadth of experience I have been lucky to already partake in.

  96. NYGent says:

    Midwest, yes another beutiful day in NYC today and fall is indeed in the air . . .

  97. Stormcat says:

    When I was first in college my sister went to the same school. She and all her gf’s used BH to stand for butt-head. Boob heckler, butt head . . . seems to fit.

  98. Stormcat says:

    Aw dunno wha thbeg dael eez . . . awuz thankin the aige awt tbay limted ta sumpin lak thartane.

  99. Dandelion Wine says:

    Midwest, maybe you should suggest the BH to patent his invention of the wheel.
    Or to call dibs on discovering America.
    I mean… he obviously considers himself a founding father of what for generations has been known as the Itty Bitty Tittie Committee, so why stop there?
    Only beasts are sated with simple necessities; it is a man’s right…nay, a DUTY to dream big!

  100. Dandelion Wine says:

    whoah, 53 is almost 3 times as old as 18. that’s not a SD, more like a SGrandpa.

  101. sb-emy says:

    I agree with ladyintim, if there is a significant mental gap (which i’m sure there is) and people stare – then probably best to NEXT it. Speaking of which, I went out on a date with a 60 yo last week, had an amazing intellectual connection – but the fact that he lied and said he was younger on his profile did throw me off.

    E

  102. 20 Candles on my cake says:

    Midwest SB- Hi :) Is his name Mark? He sends me a message every time I make a new profile. The first time he said I should think about taking HIM out and offering him an allowance. He then went off about how girls like me should treat guys like him (errr??). I was so confused. The second time he said “shouldn’t you have put “small titty woman” somewhere on your profile??” I love my B’s and think they’re perfect for my frame. And then I told him off.

  103. sb-emy says:

    yes I have, sugar in sydney seems so much harder to find! I mean there is, but the concentration of millionaires is vastly different to other cities (ie NYC).

  104. Bicentennial Baby says:

    Mall of America was soooo fun these past 2 days but man I need to NOT take two teenagers next time! A true combination of Heaven (12hours of shopping) and Hell (12hours of shopping…with 2 15yr old girls!!!!) indeed.

    Got a lovely contact from a gentleman who is about 20 yrs older than I and local-ish to boot…he’s been tremendously polite and very interesting to talk with. I am keeping my fingers crossed a friendship and possible arrangement could blossom here.

    Meeting next week with another wonderful pot SD who has also been terrific. Pot #3 cancelled our meet for another month so I may just give up on that one until if/when he finds a date he can work with for both of us. I don’t pursue a man, it’s against my beliefs to do so as I believe men must find the woman beautiful & worth of pursuit for the relationship to truly work. So we will see what develops!

    I’m not in a hurry and it only takes ONE to be the right one for me. I don’t have to be everyone’s cup of tea I’ve learned…just one SD’s!:)

  105. Midwest SB says:

    Stormy – You rock! He might have to look it up though.

  106. Stormcat says:

    Midwest ~ I guess one response could be “You mean, just as there ought to be a catagory for microcephalics?” But really you chose the best response, ignore it!

  107. Midwest SB says:

    NYGent – Time for double bookings my friend! I love your sweetness and I’m glad you’re not letting women walk all over you. I also think the carpet bombing approach might work for you.

    Has Fall started to show some hints of blessing NY?

  108. NYGent says:

    change of “heart” not “heary” (!)

  109. NYGent says:

    Had a nice brunch date set with pot for tomorrow. She emails saying “i have to cancel, turns out my roommate is manager at [restaurant where we have reso].” I’m like, so, there are 400 other places in NYC we could go, so I email saying how about another spot? No answer which I take to mean no interest/change of heary/cold feet. So went golfing, now that exercise in frustration will take your mind off other frustrations, and did . . .

  110. Midwest SB says:

    Evening ladies and gents!

    Back to today’s cheerful news! What ahhhhhmmmmazzzzing weather we are having. Fires every night, quality time all day…I love it!

    Michael – I agree with Stormy! I know you know what you’re doing, but enjoy the hike as well! Never miss an opportunity…and you’re in one of the most incredible natural wonders!

    SD Guru – you are so right about e-mails and first dates being too pushy. I don’t mind a little flirting, but one pot got the ax last week when he asked me to call for some pillow talk at 10am while I’m at work. Never met him, haven’t even chatted on the phone yet. Next!

    Not much sugar news except for the boob heckler…must be a quiet night for him. Looks like I’m getting a second message. Should I tell him that “they’re real and they’re fabulous” or that his tiny member would get lost in them. Maybe nothing at all :)

  111. Michael AZ Alleycat says:

    Stormy it’s a 4+ hour drive home and I have my 11 year old daughter to get, get her ready fir school, in bed eRly etc.

  112. Midwest SB says:

    I gotta tell ya! The e-mails some people write. I get a message from a man who says only “there should be a category for women like you to put small titty woman”. Really?! Delete>>>Block! Why would you bother sending a message like that?

  113. Stormcat says:

    Alleycat ~ That was the real tragedy! I bought the beer and I didn’t even get to drink mine. My buddy offered to share his with me but I declined saying that my loss was one of the wages of sin!
    Good luck tomorrow and try and enjoy the hike rather than making it into a gauntlet. I mean why do you have to be back by 1pm rather than taking some time, enjoying it, and getting back by say 5pm?

  114. College SB says:

    Quick Question:

    I’m 18 and am considering an arrangement with a 53 year old. Is that age difference too much? It doesn’t particularly bother me since although I’m not intensely sexually attracted to him, he’s a complete gentleman, nice to be around, and genuinely wants to take care of me. He’s practically the dictionary definition of a sugar daddy.

  115. carebear says:

    I’ve been somewhat reading the blog and what everyone has to say and need to catch up and post! But I wanted to say, I’m going out tonight and getting wasted in honor of my roller coaster ride this week, and I’m having 1 (or 7) for yall! Ur the greatest!

    Now, off to destroy my feet in some painful heels.

  116. Stormy – the big questions is: did you save the beer?

  117. Do you think society gives fair treatment to those in sugar daddy relationships?

    Yes, I do. Ignorant people treat “sugar” relationships unfairly, but I see the glass half full, so I give society credit. In fact, the definition of “society” are those with the money, so there is a lot of understanding within “society” because these are the relationships that we are having. I do not have the time or patience to listen to jealous white trash negativity.

    How would people you know really feel about your sugar-life if they knew about it? Would some of them be jealous?

    Everyone knows about my new sweetheart. They also know that I am a very kind and caring person who deserves someone as sweet as Dennis, so I am sure they are happy that I am happy. I have met my match, you know? My friends are very happy that I am wise and am not hooking up with losers in a “cougar” scene.

    I have had a rough past – three baby daddies who never paid child support, homeless (with the three girls!) in a travel trailer in a casino parking lot…..more details that are just in the past now. I am not defined by my past experiences. I learned and got smarter every step of the way.

    There is no way I could date someone who makes less than half a million a year. I am out of their league. I mean, I volunteer at the soup kitchen. I take care of the less fortunate. I give to them. They really have nothing to give to me. They can barely take care of themselves!

    How is your sugar daddy dating going?

    Freakin’ AWESOME! I have my own business and retail season is starting, so my sweetie kicked down and I am ordering materials to make my products on Monday!

    He gave me the most beautiful gift last week – diamond hoop earrings, which I have been admiring for years! I wear them all the time now. And he got them at Kohl’s at 70% off!!!!!

    We like to go to the casino – He won $2500 this week at the poker table!

    He has a few projects going on, one that will take him to Europe for six weeks, starting next month. I would go with him, but I have my own business to run. I’m going to miss him!

    He is 60 years old. I gave him three orgasms in six hours, then one again in the morning last weekend. He got a little too drunk last night to party that hard again.

    He has a dinner meeting with his lawyer tonight, but that’s OK. I am a very active member of my church and I am in charge of catering at the dance tonight.

    I don’t have time to read responses, but feel free to click through my name, then the app on my site if anyone wants to contact me.

    Peace and love to all!

  118. SD Guru – the guy I am going with has done the down and up in one day a couple of times before, most recently in May. We are training to do a
    rim-to-rim-to-rim in mid-Sept, 36 hours.

    Tomorrow’s down and up is a stress test for gear, shoes, feet, water etc. We will leave at 6am, back by 1pm. We’ll be very careful. I have done a bunch of walks before – Milford Trail (NZ), Inca Trail, Kilimanjaro, Mt Agung etc and I am VERY careful in what I do.

    • SD Guru says:

      @Michael
      Well, if you’re in tip top shape and going with a guy who knows what he’s doing, then it’s not as stupid as it sounds. Have fun and please come back in one piece! :)

      @Midwest SB
      Not much sugar news except for the boob heckler… Should I tell him that “they’re real and they’re fabulous” or that his tiny member would get lost in them.

      I burst out laughing when I read that!! I think any member would get lost in them.. 😉 We should add boob heckler (BH) to the list of blog acronyms! LOL…

      @BrownedEyeGal
      What does JD and PJ means?

      Joke Daddy and Perv John.

      @NYGent
      no answer which I take to mean no interest/change of heart/cold feet.

      So what else is new? :)

      @College SB
      I’m 18 and am considering an arrangement with a 53 year old.

      I really think there should be a minimum age on the sd sites, like on sd.com where you should be at least 21. Of course that doesn’t stop anyone under 21 from signing up though. It’s not easy for younger women to be mature enough and have enough life experience to be in a sugar relationship. Dealing with a 35 year age difference on top of that will just make it that much more difficult for both.

  119. Stormcat says:

    Alleycat ~ Don’t despair, we all get the stupid bug once in a while! Yesterday, after all the rain during the last week, the west branch swelled to flood stage, and we decided to run it. We dropped the car at the take out and put in 17 miles upstream. The water was really moving and in spite of our trying to take our time we finished the run in less than 3 hours. Normally this run is way below my skill level but this was unexpected. I dumped twice and ended up with major gigantic bruises from running into rocks under the water. Plus a pretty good whack to the head. Anyway the stupid part was that it was my own fault for dumping . . . the first time I was trying to hold on to the beer I was drinking while going through a major rapid and the second time I was surfing a huge hydraulic facing upstream and tried to turn around instead of backing out of it.

  120. Morning all … saw my sugar last night, very sweet…

    Off to Grand Canyon this afternoon, and tomorrow a buddy and I are doing a hike down to the bottom and up again, from south rim. Down 4800 ft, up again, 16 miles, aiming for 7 hours or less.

    Not that I’m saying this is a stupid thing to do in one day, but I think it is a stupid thing to do in one day …

    • SD Guru says:

      @Michael
      but I think it is a stupid thing to do in one day …

      Have you done this before? You do know there are warning signs all over the canyon about doing the hike in one day, right? I’m not saying it can’t be done or you shouldn’t try it, but… Here’s the warning verbatim from NPS:

      “The difference between a great adventure in Grand Canyon and a trip to the hospital (or worse) is up to YOU. DO NOT attempt to hike from the rim to the river and back in one day, especially during the months of May to September.”

      Instead of doing a stupid hike with your buddy and possibly having to be rescued, I’d suggest that you take your SB to the Enchantment Resort in Sedona to enjoy the spa and the sumptuous Sunday brunch. But that’s just me! :)

      @Stormcat
      Regarding the upcoming Godiva pudding/cherry jello match… I would be willing to organise, promote, set ground rules, referee, make odds, and take bets… we must work out ticket and royalty income sharing agreements in advance.

      Sure, leave it to a lawyer to come up with all that! Where do I sign? :)

      @Carebear
      I guess he changed his mind as soon as he saw me because we’re back on and pretty strong (I think). I don’t know if he’ll get cold feet again but I’ll roll with the punches.

      I’m glad to hear that things are working out for you. Enjoy the ride and don’t be surprised if there are more ups and downs in the future!

      —————-

      I saw several questions about how to handle a pot SD’s email when he appears to be pushy or presumptuous. Even though there are some key differences between IRL dating and sugar dating, in general the initial correspondence and first meet shouldn’t be that different. For the newbie SB’s, don’t check your self respect and common sense at the door when you enter the sugar world. Ask yourself, if a pot is being pushy or presumptuous before a first date IRL, how would you react? And why should it be any different in the sugar world?

  121. Ivory says:

    Thanks for the help! Great information! Well, I have two potentials…one from this site and one from the other site. :)

  122. Ms. Taken says:

    Having reread the previous post, I meant seekingmillionaire.com. I got a good laugh because in context SM could mean other things. (If you would like to share about those too, that’s fine) 8)

  123. Ms. Taken says:

    Hi all, hope your Saturday is full of sugar!

    Re: previous post, I meant to ask if anyone with SM experience could share with the rest of us.

  124. Ms. Taken says:

    @sb-emy-“but I cant; seem to shake the feeling that I want something more.”

    Have you considered SA’s sister site, seekingmillionaire.com?

    @Lily/Yaz~Do you think this would satisfy your need for a “more real” relationship where the guy could also accommodate your refined tastes as well?

    SBs/SDs Has anyone else?

  125. BrownEyedGal says:

    Hi Ivory,

    I submitted twice to answer your questions but didn’t go through…hmm

    Anyway trying again…go into the Blogs page and look at the right hand side for the topic “How to spot a fake SD”

  126. Ivory says:

    Hello all,

    I am sorry if I missed it but can someone point me to the blog about fake SD’s? I keep getting emails from two guys that might be fake?

    Thanks!

  127. BrownEyedGal says:

    Hi Dandelion Wine….for a minute there, you transported me back on time……the time was in slow motion and I was there….. sigh!

    and yes back to my reality…..my typical Saturday morning when my kids are away and I am updating my spreadsheet making sure my budget are in sync and bills are paid on time…at least I’m not on-call so I can day dream a little bit.

  128. Dandelion Wine says:

    It was worth it. I don’t care. I was in a pure fever and I was alive. It doesn’t matter if being so alive kills a man; it’s better to have the quick fever every time

  129. Dandelion Wine says:

    @BastIsisKali, yes :)

    It was a quiet morning, the town covered over with darkness and at ease in bed. Summer gathered in the weather, the wind had the proper touch, the breathing of the world was long and warm and slow. You had only to rise, lean from your window, and know that this indeed was the first real time of freedom and living, this was the first morning of summer.

    and

    No matter how hard you try to be what you once were, you can only be what you are here and now. Time hypnotizes. When you’re nine, you think you’ve always been nine years old and will always be. When you’re thirty, it seems you’ve always been balanced there on that bright rim of middle life. And then when you turn seventy, you are always and forever seventy. You’re in the present, you’re trapped in a young now or an old now, but there is no other now to be seen.

  130. BrownEyedGal says:

    hello everyone….

    I know I’m off the topic …. I’m trying to catch up on the blogs….but have to ask. What does JD and PJ means? anyone please?

  131. FL-SD says:

    Midwest,
    If that PC is still giving you issues, drop me a line. I’m happy to help!

  132. sb-emy says:

    heyy sugar community,

    Life has been turbulent, so much so – that I am so relieved to finally make it to a computer! I have been on a handful of dates, one turned out to be a lovely 60yo, which we did get along well, but again the age gap was far too wide. Intellectually, we clicked – lots of laughs to be had. Now the second date later that night was interesting, he was very interested in the physical side of things and was keen to get things moving, ie get me moving into a hotel room w/ the logic that we all know what happens here, let’s see if we’re compatible. the date was very touchy feely, and I was attracted – but i’m still looking.

    Can’t wait to find a single man I can connect with, not sure how emotionally resilient I am after having gone through a long term BF relationship, this is all very new to me – but I cant; seem to shake the feeling that I want something more.

    E

  133. SoftlySearching says:

    Hi everyone…hope it’s a great night for all…
    to answer the blog questions… The people who are closest to me and know me best in my family and friends are aware of my new venture. They do of course worry but are pretty supportive of the choices I make in life. Others who know me but dont really know me would definitely talk shit if it were to get out…lol
    How is my sugar dating going? I have been truly patient in my quest and I hope and pray that this wonderful man I am speaking to is the one I have been patient for :) We are enamored of each other and yet we will not meet for another two weeks. OMG I would love to say more and express my excitment but am afraid to jinx myself lol…so I will keep myself incheck. Any positive thoughts sent my way are welcome :)
    xoxo

  134. Yaz says:

    Lol WallStreet guy was at the last SA party and I am sure he will be at the next one.

  135. BastIsisKali says:

    @Dandelion Wine

    Oh…one more thing. I happened upon a copy of your namesake the other day. Are you a Bradbury fan?

  136. BastIsisKali says:

    @Dandelion Wine

    I’ll bit the bullet and go out with him…only as long as I can use rope and pepper spray.

  137. Dandelion Wine says:

    One of you ladies needs to go on a date with wallstreetpartyanimal and take pictures for the rest of us less lucky ones to fawn over

  138. Midwest SB says:

    Evening sugars!

    Nothing more enjoyable than trying to clean up an old PC to sell :( I keep trying to save pics to a disc and keep getting an error in the writing process….grrrrrrrr.

    Good news is I might have found some music once lost!

    I can take this so far and then I may have to call in the experts! Where’s NEOhio SD?

    No sugar news….none at all. I am now living vicariously though those who are admired by Wallstreetpartyanimal. I have a few men like him who contact me regularly when a new profiile is up. At least they are consistent.

  139. BrownEyedGal says:

    @Stormcat ~ you are right…. i need to familiarized with you all… I know I am missing something …. I’m lurking on previous blogs….had to go way way back. I’ll eventually catchup…

    Anyway, I’ve decided to let go of this pots that I said I was emailing for a month now and who is so slow in responding to emails. We never talked about allowance but he said something about open exchange of benefits and wants to start at first meet. His idea of getting together is having lunch/dinner than have sex. Since I have nothing to tell me that he is legit, I would just go with my instinct – He is not a real SD.

    Since I am not in a rush and not desperate for money, I can wait and learn as much as I could if I want to be successful in the sugar world. I know he is out there and I want to be ready when he comes….

    I am enjoying the previous blog from Bonnie and BrownSkinnedSugarBaby…where are they?

  140. Michael AZ Alleycat says:

    Oh what a tangled web we weave…

  141. SB Nickey says:

    Thank you NC Gent.

    Keep your fingers crossed for me *smile*

  142. NYC SB says:

    Muse- seems like u have competition :p

  143. BastIsisKali says:

    @NCGent

    Thanks for that tip about a blog on Fake SD’s. I did a search through the main page and found a couple of blog posts with some good information. I have been corresponding with a pot SD but his emails are decidedly short and has not offered up any information about himself. He keeps including his personal email in his message, but I am reluctant to use it (not sure why….just paranoid I guess).

    The blogs had some good ideas but didn’t address this exact situation; but they did provide me with some useful ideas.

    Thanks again.

    Hope everyone has a great weekend!

  144. @carebear
    Why would you want him to give up on true love? He knows you two are soulmates, it’s just a matter of time until you accept that and stop fighting your feelings for him.

    Duh.

  145. carebear says:

    I’m at work, busy, but had to sign on the blog and ask everyone if I could have yalls permission to go on a date with wallstreetpartyanimal tonight, he just emailed me for the second time this week. I know almost all the sugar babies are in love with him so I thought I should ask you guys first if you were ok parting with him for the night.

    I joke.

    Dude when will he stop??

  146. NC Gent says:

    Nickey — your profile looks fine. Your desired allowance is going to put you in a range that is hard, but not impossible, to find an SD.

    Regarding the inappropriate language/conversation, unfortunately, it is common practice for fake SDs to say those things. There is some good stuff on spotting a fake SD on the main blog page.

  147. SB Nickey says:

    @NC Gent

    My profile number is 511635.

    I agree about not discussing allowance during the “get to know you” stage.

    From the few emails I have been sent, most were disgusting, telling me what they what to do to me. UG! (very tacky and those get deleted automatically).
    And I had 2 where I had to constantly steer the conversation back to common interest, as the men had their minds in the gutter.

    Is this a common practice when contacting a SB?

    Is it normal for the upfront conversation to be about sex and what I like, and or will do to/ for my SD?

    I’m not accustomed to that type right off the bat.

    Thanks for the help *wink*

  148. NC Gent says:

    Nickey — if you share your profile number we might be able to make some comments. Also, certain deal killers are asking about allowance before you ask a few things about the SD to show you are interested in him and not just his money.

  149. SB Nickey says:

    Hello everyone!
    I hope all is well for each and every one of you today.

    So I have a question.

    I have sent out emails to pot SDs that I find interesting and have even had a couple respond back to me, but I can’t figure out if I’m doing something wrong or if my profile is not “catchy”.

    I do have high self esteem (not to be confused with arrogance) and I know that I am a unique and fun individual to be with/ around.
    So why am I not getting past the intial contact? Most of the time not even getting a reply back?

    I hate to sound like I’m whining, but I have been at this for almost 3 months now and have only been on 1 date.
    (in which I found his intentions were not that of a SD/SB relationship)

    I need some guidance and a little assistance. Can anyone help this Southern Belle out?

    Thank you in advanced.

    Nickey~

  150. Enjoying my morning- Are there mentor for a young sb trying to learn the rope

  151. Apparently I’m too tired to formulate complete thoughts. Was supposed to say “a bit* slow-coming”.

    Also, I meant to say that it was “on the first date” that we ended up talking about other things. Guh. I need a nap. G’night.

  152. Meant to check back here way sooner but got caught up. All your stories are fascinating (if not always the happiest).

    @carebear
    Having read through everything, it’s nice to see a story that ended well. Congrats on keeping your man ;). I’m glad you went for the hot shoes, would’ve been my pick too!

    Potential sugars are a it slow-coming for me right now. I have a second date with one tomorrow night, though, so I’m excited about that. We ended up talking too much about everything else to get into too much detail about what our arrangement will be (other than allowance which we’ve agreed on).

    Any advice on what questions I should be asking or what I should be bringing up before making anything official? As a total newbie to all of this, I’d really appreciate the input.

  153. 20 Candles on my cake says:

    That was a long post. Hm, seemed shorter in this box, lol, sorry.

  154. 20 Candles on my cake says:

    Hi :) Long time lurker here. I love this blog and have a big girl crush on NYCSB 😛

    Do you think society gives fair treatment to those in sugar daddy relationships?
    I think that most people view it as a sex-for-money, tit for tat type of thing and don’t understand the relationship the SB and SD have. The stereotype around it (old guys with young girls) doesn’t help either!

    How would people you know really feel about your sugar-life if they knew about it? Would some of them be jealous?
    A lot of people would talk shit, lol. I’m sure some of the girls would be jealous, and guys would be bitter since they’re not wealthy (hahahahha :P). My close friends…might be supportive? I don’t know because they always joke about these types of things. My sister already thinks I’m a stripper and seems fine with it lol and my parents/relatives would be really disappointed in me.

    How is your sugar daddy dating going?
    It’s going okay. I took a little break, but I’m back on the sugar hunt. I’m extremely picky about who I even message back. Guys who send one liners asking for photos, to call them, or something really sexual–I block immediatly. I tend to not message back guys with little info on their profiles. Also, guys who capitalize every other word in their description box. Why do they do that? Is it because of their phone?
    I’m even pickier about who I meet. And pickiest about who I agree to start an arrangement with, lolol. I know I’m losing some genuine SD’s, but I’m so paranoid about meeting a creep.

  155. Michael AZ Alleycat says:

    Hey Lily – I got yr Skype chat on my iPhone just as I was falling asleep, and I actually even started a reply but I was exhausted….

  156. Lily says:

    I didn’t wanna sleep! I tried to chat up Michael but he wasn’t at his keyboard or didn’t see his messages…. 😛

  157. Stormcat says:

    Good Morning Lily! Oh Kitten, I’m sorry you’re bored. :( I hope you get some excitement soon, to overcome your boredom! Meanwhile, sleeping at night is a good thing. 😉

  158. Stormcat says:

    Browneyedgal ~ You are showing your unfamilarity with the philosophical additudes of the various SD’s that regularly blog! SD guru is of the opinion . . . well ‘ll let him explain it. As for myself, Alleycat and I are allied on that subject. And even though we are greatly outnumbered here we continue to hold our position.

  159. BrownEyedGal says:

    Gosh I’m so tired but can’t sleep!

  160. BrownEyedGal says:

    Ooops holding

  161. BrownEyedGal says:

    Oh and of course I love the one jolting the love too! Don’t want to forget that!

  162. BrownEyedGal says:

    Ok so we are surrounded by love…… Gotta love that….love the shoes, love the gem, love the food and the love handles … Etc etc..

  163. BrownEyedGal says:

    I wonder what your business coach is going to say about that? Seems contradictory! Or do you ever take her advice?

  164. Michael AZ Alleycat says:

    And we both loved to roll in the money and what it brought us, all part of the love.

  165. BrownEyedGal says:

    Oh my! I can just hear the whip from SD Guru and Stormcat saying “woman have you not learned anything yet”

  166. Michael AZ Alleycat says:

    Hey BrownEyedGirl – you know, it is all about love, well from my side at least. Lovevto help someone, lovevto have a great time, love to eat at a great restaurant with a beautiful babe, love to turn heads when we went out together, and loved to love her.

  167. BrownEyedGal says:

    Meaning leave your heart out of it? And i thought it’s all about sex….. Just kidding!

  168. Michael AZ Alleycat says:

    BUT she also said, if it works, go for it, but remember it is all about the money.

  169. Michael AZ Alleycat says:

    Question: How would people you know really feel about your sugar-life if they knew about it? Would some of them be jealous.

    Actually the only person who knows is my business coach. And she was real clear – this is a business relationship, if she tries to screw you, treat it like you would if a business partner tried to screw you.

  170. BastIsisKali says:

    @Carebear

    **big hugs**

    Gotta love the sexy shoes. 😉

  171. FreeSpirit says:

    @ Carebear
    Omg that would be hilarious!! That guy (wallstpartyanimal) is a total creeper! btw Im glad things are better with you and your SD!!

    As for my date with the new, sweetheart SD…it went so well!! We clicked instantly, and he seemed very surprised by me. I guess he thought that I was going to be a mindless bimbo or something. The night couldn’t have gone better, which is great because if he turned out to be another creeper I would’ve cried haha! We didn’t talk about an arrangement, but he asked to see me again on Saturday so that seems promising. He is definitely a keeper! yay! =D

    And my answer to the topic question: How would people you know really feel about your sugar-life if they knew about it? Would some of them be jealous?

    I can’t even image telling the my friends or family (especially not my family) about my sugar-life, but I wish I could get the guts to tell them because it would make everything so much easier. I know they won’t accept it though. Only one of my friends knows everything about my sugar life and she isn’t to happy about it, but I think she secretly wants to be a SB too haha! I think that if I ever do tell my family, it would be years from now when all of this is just a funny memory.

  172. BastIsisKali says:

    @Lily

    I find an afternoon nap can be quite refreshing. My cats appreciate it too. Thursdays are an early day for me and by the time I get home, all I want to do is crash. Let the boredom drift into a nice dream. Or just go on youtube and watch random cat videos or something.

    Question…I recently joined another SB website. Most of the profiles of the SD’s on there are very short and generally vague. I like the “feel” of SA far more than the feel of this other site. Do any of you have experience with other sites and which do you prefer, have better luck with, etc?

    Thanks!

  173. BrownEyedGal says:

    sorry for typos

  174. BrownEyedGal says:

    @Carebear
    I’m so happy for you! was it Cleo who predicted that that’s what gonna happen? care to pas on that ‘tan shoes’ over here? might get lucky.

    Time to celebrate!

  175. BrownEyedGal says:

    @Stormcat ~ since I have no SD, I’ll take Baby bunny rabbits – I really need some sugar loving here! As for NYGent, I might be too old for his taste although I took his list at heart so not to use them ever….:) but then again I rather tell the truth then give false hope.

    @NYGent ~ At least you never give up despite all the disappointments. A gentleman will always be a gentleman and don’t let anyone take that away from you…..afterall it is always the one quality that wins the heart of women.

    So you guys are lawyers? I fell in love with a young lawyer once when I was in my early twenties. I met him on my first job as a clerk at Dept. of Labour’s Conciliation and Mediation Board. He represented an Oil Company. There were so many of us girls in that department but he picked me. Everyone knows he fancied me because he kept coming by and sometimes will bring snacks and cakes for everybody. My boss would bring me and a couple of girls with him when these big shot lawyers will have lunch meeting with him. I think he knew he had an interest. Then one day the opposition lawyer came to me and said “so you are friends with such n such, did you know he was married? He’s been married for a year”. of course I lied saying i knew about it that we are only friends nothing more. I was in shocked. After everybody left, I was still sitting on my desk trying to process my feelings….then I knew I had to leave the country and come to America…if I stayed…I won’t be able to resist. I asked him and he did not deny but he tried to convince me not to leave. He even showed up at my farewell party even though he was an outsider. He showed up on my last day at work with another lawyer friend and brought galons of ice-cream and cakes for the whole department to celebrate. He wrote to me for two years, sending me gifts hoping to entice me to go back…eventually it stopped because I got married.

    Sorry sorry sorry…. this isn’t a blog…just reminiscing!

  176. Beach_Girl says:

    Hi sugars

    Lily~ Hope you got some sleep…

  177. Michael AZ Alleycat says:

    Lily. Try sleeping.

  178. Lily says:

    4:30am

    still bored.

  179. Dandelion Wine says:

    Michael, email :)

  180. carebear says:

    Hi friends =)

    Soooo to give anyone an update (for those who may or may not care)….

    I met my SD last night. The one that didn’t want to see me anymore because I’m too young. I guess he changed his mind as soon as he saw me because we’re back on and pretty strong (I think). I don’t know if he’ll get cold feet again but I’ll roll with the punches. I totally didn’t see that coming so knowing that we’re going to keep seeing each other is a real treat for me. =)

    So thank you all for the advice and listening to me be a drama queen. It helped. More than his ‘discerning’ text messages.

    Moving on (because I want to put that subject in the past as fast as possible)…….WALLSTREETPARTYANIMAL! He emails me like once every other week and I constantly have to remind him that I already turned him down. Its funny to know everyone else is in the same shoes. We should all schedule to meet him all in one night and see how he handles it. Ha. Funny.

    Yay for NYC SB going to Miami! Its friggin cold up here lately, I had to put on a sweater today. =(

    I need to get out of town also. Going to Chicago in 3 weeks! =)

    Oh and PS I wore the tan shoes last night, which he didn’t notice till he went to take them off and then complimented. Even though they’re the same ones I wore the last 2 times. Glad my ‘investments’ are paying off.

  181. Michael AZ Alleycat says:

    Lily – still bored?

  182. Lily says:

    yawn

    1am and bored

  183. Lily says:

    It’s midnight and I’m bored……

  184. Dandelion Wine says:

    Michael AZ, I don’t have an SA account anymore :(

  185. Lily says:

    Thanks for everyone’s answers about non-single SBs. I’m afraid I don’t know whether or not I’m cut out to have a relationship + sugar on the side, but it’s not yet something I have to decide. I don’t have a guy IRL wanting to be in a serious relationship with me OR an SD offering me an arrangement, so…. I guess I’m pretty ‘free as a bird’ right now….. :)

  186. Yaz says:

    Thanks Stormy. I will definitely keep blogging or at least reading the blog. This new relationship will not be the only thing keeping me out of the sugar bowl for a while…I will be turning 25 next year and there are some things I need to focus on and accomplish before returning to sugar dating…Once a sugar always a sugar haha :) so you might see at a SA party…but I will have a sign on my forehead reading “Off the market” 😉

  187. Yaz says:

    Sorry guys but my head is full of questions this morning lol..
    I have been in the sugar bowl for two years now and, as I am taking a break from it, I have started to ask myself so many questions. Was is worth it? Not worth it? Did you do anything you were not proud of?
    For me, the pros outweigth the cons. I have made wonderful friends, was introduced to a lifestyle I could only dream of and I have learned so much from my ex-SDs and blogger friends. But there are some cons.

  188. Stormcat says:

    Hey Yaz ~ great news and congratulation. please do stay in touch.

    James.m ~ lol spelling is my bane! I suspect that the geocashing activity is more applicable to the SB that has multiple SDs scattered, and travels around from one to the next.

    Dandelion ~ thanks for that post on topic. Ironically, I don’t remember the last time I posted a topic answer, but nobody seems to call me out on that. My guess is that the blog hears enough from me and isn’t really interested in asking for more.

  189. Yaz says:

    Oh and I was also thinking society might also be against sugar dating because 90% of men sugar dating are married. Do you think society would find sugar dating more acceptable if married men were not a part of it??
    I have read about Kim from The Real Housewives of ATL and her SD “Big Poppa” and I have read sooo many comments ( especially coming from other women) about how she had no shame going after a married man and being a kept woman. Do you think people would not have been so quick to bash Kim if the man was single and there was the possibility of a LTR between the two? Or maybe she would still have been thrown under the bus regardless of the guy’s marital status?
    I know some people love to judge others regardless of of their situation.

  190. Yaz says:

    NYGent~ Thank you :)

    Almond Joy’s post made me wonder… How many SBs in the sugar world would hate for their friends and family to discover that they are sugar babies…? It is sad that most of the time society classifies SBs as glorified escorts :( I hate keeping some parts of my life secret so I always tell my mom or my sisters everything.
    I’m fortunate to have a family that understands what the sugar world is all abou and did not judge me for having a SD in my life or being attracted to older men but I have come to realize that it is not the same for most SBs….

  191. Almond Joy formerly Sweet Jess says:

    Oh and to answer the blog…..I haven’t told anyone in my family or friends about this because I would frowned upon. Society has it’s issues that I need not worry about!!! With a previous SD, we were out for coffee and we drew stares not only because of the age difference but because of the difference in race. I could care less because I’ve lived in SC all my life and deal with issues such as this on a daily basis.

  192. Almond Joy formerly Sweet Jess says:

    Aaaaahhhhh!!! I’ve just about had it!!! (I don’t mean to be off topic.) Why is it that non-American men are more receptive to interracial dating?!?! The few that are interested (out of the ones that contacted me) view me as a FETISH….EEWWW!!!!!

  193. DandelionWine – try again, this time with my profile link up … if the link doesn’t work, look me up using profile # 340465

    #1 has just left to go to work. Back to bed for some sleep, then the gym …. another day in the life.

  194. Question is it okay to put things like “if you are seeking P4P, please do not contact” not sure if that s okay, just wanted to know

    Thanks

  195. Good Morning Sugars!!!

    Glad to see another day. i have pick up some really good info from MidwestSB,NYgent, and many more on how to weed them out!! i save so much time. THANKS!!!

    Im coming up to NYC next month, would love to meet with SB/SD- The big apple is a big place. Dont know anyone up there really. And being new to the internet sugarbowl I need a true person to show me the ropes!!! lol seriously

    HOPE ALL HAVE A HAPPY & SUGARY DAY!!!!

  196. NYGent says:

    That’s great news, Yaz, good luck with him!

  197. FreeSpirit says:

    Yes I am definitely staying far far away from him haha! I am having dinner with a pot tonight, he seems like a sweetheart. I’m excited! =D

  198. Michael AZ Alleycat says:

    Dandelionwine – contact me’ through my profile. Happy to chat With you.

  199. Dandelion Wine says:

    Lady I, Jesus? Nice to meet you, I am God.
    Goddess, if you want to be cute and affectionate, although as a deity I am not constrained by such silly notions as gender.
    Shall we find the Holy Spirit and have a [s]threes[/s] Holy Trinity?

  200. Stormcat says:

    Hmmm
    Muse is alone for the week.
    Verrry Interestingk . . .
    😉

  201. NYC SB says:

    Free spirit email back at you!

    Sugars NYC SB is taking over miami with my very first sb friend! Watch out boys 😉 while I am sad to abandon my wife (muse) I have missed my sb buddy and blogger miami sb … Its been a year since I have seen her !

  202. BicentennialBaby says:

    OMG…I too had the same person contact me RIGHT out of the kitty. wallstpartyanimal. I didn’t get a good “vibe” on the exchanges and I’m not into partying. Nice off Broadway, etc, sure…some great food, opera or a rock band, no problem. Partying all night long, not without my girlfriends.

    Glad to know at least I made some of the perv lists, I guess that puts me in the club.

    I’m saddened I’m not the most righteous and decent woman on the planet. Oh well. Back to being just me.

    Chat with you guys/gals later, off to Minneapolis for 3 days of fun!

  203. Yaz says:

    Haven’t been on here in a min…I see that Dandelion Wine stole the first place this time 😛

    Taking a break from the sugar world and entertaining the thought of being in a traditional relationship. Will more than likely do it :)

    Met a guy IRL who could easily be a SD (Income, age, status blah blah) and we are slowwwwwwly falling for each other…It is a very nice feeling I have to say that I kinda missed it :)

    Funny thing is I do not want to turn him into a SD…He is kind of a public figure in his home state and I have read that he is extremely generous with the women his life ( mom, daughter, nieces..) so I am sure I will be well taken care of lol

    And if someday he does break my heart….I will be back on the blog to vent…:)

    Will keep following the blog tho and will try to participate whenever I can :)

    Good night guys

  204. Yaz says:

    FreeSpirit~ That guy also goes by the name TuxedoGuy and has emailed me and every single SB I know….Enough said…

  205. FreeSpirit says:

    reply** (I am the queen of typos haha)

  206. FreeSpirit says:

    @ Stormcat

    Thanx! That makes a lot of sense. I hope I can find a genuine SD

    As for the “trader” in NYC, I think he is definitely a creeper!! I emailed NYC SB about my situation and in her replied she asked: “His sa name is not wallstreetparty animal is it?” … AND THAT IS HIS NAME!!! … I told her that this was him, but she hasn’t written back yet. Though now I am sure that he must be a creeper because a response like that hardly foretells something good =/

  207. Dandelion Wine says:

    James.m thank you for kindly agreeing to help, and Stephan, thank you for the email :)

  208. Dandelion Wine says:

    Lady I, I am dead serious, the quote is directly from Spiritual Baby’s blog!

    “I am the most righteous and decent woman who has ever walked this planet. Being a holistic healer is my gift for God and I am only attracted to real gentlemen. ”

    I also like: “I have been sending flirty emails to Mr. Baltimore. He has just been ignoring them. I just went there to send another one and I get a notice saying that I have been blocked from communicating with him.

    I also got an email at my yahoo address today, around the same time: Train To Be A Police Officer Online.

    This truely explains everything. Mr. Baltimore is a cop. ”

    I hope the blog is satire…

  209. Dandelion Wine says:

    Stormcat, you are absolutely right. Noblesse oblige :)

    Do you think society gives fair treatment to those in sugar daddy relationships?
    ———
    Define “fair”. I think there are some people with a chip on their shoulder that flaunt the lifestyle as if it is a great privilege or distinction, and these people will be probably the most likely to be treated in a manner they feel is “unfair” . The worst would be when they lock horns with people who have a chip on a different shoulder and flaunt that they “don’t have to pay for sex”/ “don’t accept money for sex”. There’s a graceful way to avoid or diffuse most of unpleasant situations

    How would people you know really feel about your sugar-life if they knew about it? Would some of them be jealous?
    ——————
    Funny thing is, people more or less expect me to be in sugar-y relationships, and I got the most negative feedback on the couple of non-wealthy guys I had relationships with. I am probably more of the “wealthy boyfriend” type, since NSA part does not appeal to me in the slightest. I like the connection, the butterflies and everything that goes with it; for that same reason I don’t date *much* older: 10-15 years older is a comfortable range for me. I’ve met attractive men older than that, but haven’t usually thought we’d have enough in common. Maybe there will be one that will prove me wrong. Who knows.
    I doubt anyone would be jealous. My friends and family are adequate people who are capable of making their own choices and accepting the choices of others, and I don’t really waste my time thinking about what strangers feel about me

    How is your sugar daddy dating going?
    ———

    I don’t kiss and tell 😉

  210. James.m says:

    Stormy:

    geo caching is what an SB does with her son
    geo cashing is what an SB does with her SD

  211. Midwest SB says:

    Bastlsiskali – It’s a guess at this point. Try an e-mail or two and see where it goes. I don’t care for vague profiles and e-mails, but on a whim I responded to one and it turned out well.

  212. BastIsisKali says:

    Okay…question about the validity of an email.

    I just received an email from a pot SD. There isn’t much if any information on his profile (one to two sentences each for his description and what arrangement, etc, he’s looking for). Also, he just has a stock picture (as far as I can tell).

    His email was just one sentence saying he’s “interested in getting to know” me. That’s it.

    Am I just overly skeptical and paranoid? Too many experiences with craigslist? I guess it doesn’t hurt to reply, but I guess it just seems fishy/weird?

    Your thoughts?

    Thanks!

  213. Midwest SB says:

    I’ve been looking at it for a few days now… I think we’ll try some of the easier finds. Looks like a few will let us combine fishing with geocaching…he’ll like that.

  214. Stormcat says:

    Wow I just looked up geocashing! looks like fun. Did you check out geocashing dot com. That seems to have a lot of links and plenty of info. Let us know if you find anything unusual!

  215. Midwest SB says:

    lol Stormcat!

    On a completely different note…has anyone gone geocaching? I want to try this with my son.

  216. Stormcat says:

    Midwest ~ moi? mej oui!
    lol
    what did I just say here?

  217. VillaCypris says:

    ha. i’m working on it, believe me!!! i’d love to meet you in person!! xxxxxxxx

  218. Midwest SB says:

    VC – Me too! Me too!

    Stormcat – you are now dubbed “SA’s most hopeless romantic”

  219. Stormcat says:

    FreeSpirit, Jess, BrownEyedGal ~ OK, the sex thing isn’t about numbers. And it isn’t about when the SD gives out the allowance. In actuality the allowance isn’t being given in exchange for anything either. The SD finds you charming, witty, beautiful, intoxicating, sexy, challenging, fun, etc. And the feelings, that those findings provoke in him, motivates him to want the best for you, to want to spend time with you, and to want to experience the real affection that you will return to him! So if you feel that affection for him there is no reason not to show that affection by making love. The whole problem, of when to have sex, exists only because: 1. we are not able to imagine those feelings before they happen. (When you feel like you want to have sex it is because you want to have sex) 2. most times those feelings develop slowly in step with and in response to developing mutual trust. And 3. some times we are subjected to a potential partner who’s motives are not about having a real trusting mutually beneficial relationship. But are rather about some other objective that is beneficial only to that one.
    In those instances one would not want to make love even though one would feel like it. Since it is hard to detect the conditions wherein one would not want to have sex even though they felt like it, many people have just made hard and fast rules requireing certain things to happen before they will succumb to the desire of making love. Others are less sringent and go only by how they feel. In the long run it has to be whatever you feel comfortable with.

  220. VillaCypris says:

    hi midwest!!!
    thanks! nice to see you as well.. i’m always “here”….
    wish i was going to NYC over labour day 😉
    xxxxx

  221. Midwest SB says:

    Stormy!!! I was literally laughing my sweet a$$ off at your referee post! You are soooooooooo hired!

    VC – Nice to see you again!

    Jess – It’s ok to get attached, just know that in most cases, this too shall come to an end. Be happy for the great times together. My advice when an arrangement is about to end is give him fireworks, then part sweetly.

    Sex on first dates…we need to freeze this at the top of every blog! Have sex if you WANT to…not because you think it will get you an allowance and not because you think you owe him (and vice versa). Stormcat said it best…make sure there is chemistry>>>affection>>>fireworks>>>omfg great! I have had SDs travel to see me with no expectations or entitlements to sex. You have to realize that although they do spend money to see you, they expect to. In addition, they have likely made business plans nearby to be efficient. Definitely make sure they have an amazing time so they feel like the time traveled was not a complete loss, but that does not HAVE to include sex.

  222. VillaCypris says:

    hi james.m !!!!

    i hope so! it’s just a short hop from minneapolis! i’d love to meet midwest…
    and will you be there as well?

  223. VillaCypris says:

    storm – here is the link – (hope it won’t be mod er at ed)

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/motoring/news/7960215/Ferrari-458-plagued-by-mysterious-jinx.html

  224. James.m says:

    VC – any chance we can get you to Chicago in October?

  225. DearDaddy says:

    @Jess:

    Becoming attached to the sugar daddy, and whether they like that:

    Well, in general, sugar relationships are NSA by definition, and they happen because of the mutual convenience factor. So becoming attached is sort of ‘dangerous’ for both parties, especially if the SD is married. Is it possible? Of course it is, as we are all human, and it has happened to me more than once. Do we like that? it’s fun, it reminds us of our dating days before sugar started, but once again, it is not the best thing that can happen.
    Cooler heads should prevail and, once the infatuation or attachment happens, I think the relationship should break off.

    As always, just one man’s opinion.

  226. James.m says:

    Stephan: you sent my address to Midwest. Did you also send it to dandelion?

  227. VillaCypris says:

    thanks, storm!!! it’s the ferrari 458 italia… i was just reading an article yesterday about how this car appears to be “cursed”… way too many ‘accidents’ already… seemingly unrelated, but still.. a few crashes, one burned up in a warehouse in london… yikes.

  228. Stormcat says:

    VC ~ joy oh joy! so good to see you! What is that avatar you’re sporting?

  229. Jess says:

    Again, another question, I am so green.

    Is it okay to become attached to your SD? Do they like that? Is it possible for them to become attached in return?

  230. VillaCypris says:

    Hi everyone!

    Storm! you are a lawyer, too 😉 heh heh

    freespirit – NYCSB is one of my best girlfriends, she would be more than happy to help you out … go ahead and email her thru her blog …. she’s a wonderful source of advice and information, especially concerning “traders”!!!

  231. Stormcat says:

    Browneyedgal ~ This post was just so incredibly cute!!! I Think Baby bunny rabbits are going to start falling in love with you. NYGent would be your perfect match. He has grown slightly cynical lately and could use a dose of your sweetness. And you could benefit from his well developed wisdom.

  232. BrownEyedGal says:

    Regarding the upcoming Godiva pudding/cherry jello match …… ca I be the go person for Stormcat?

    @Stormcat
    I love your advices to Jess…….you just answered all my Q.

    @Michael AZ Alleycat
    I looked you up since you gave your profile # here (just curious to see faces)… you have a boyish look and love that outfit??

    @Carebear
    I now understand why you are getting sad about your SD…he gave you stocks in his company? he must really like you….wow!

    BTW…. I might come to you for advice on shoes!

  233. BrownEyedGal says:

    How would people you know really feel about your sugar-life if they knew about it? Would some of them be jealous?

    My BFF would probably be jealous if I become officially SB and enjoying the benefits. I had to tell her because she is my contact when meeting pots. She’s all freaked out and scared if something happens to me like end up dead in a hotel room (just quoting her) but I explained I am taking all the precautions and following everything they say in the book. She agreed to be on standby when I meet pots and calls me to make sure I am ok.

    Another older friend from work is all understanding and she is really good at giving advice about dressing up and ‘sex’ – on what men wants :) etc. Obvioiusly I have a lot to learn since I’ve only been with one man (my ex) all my life. urg! did I just gave away my secret?

    My family if they found out? (shaking head here) I can’t even begin to imagine how they will react if they find out. I’ll definitely officially be declared as the black sheep in the family. Will forever make the headline in every family reunion which I won’t be invited. I can just see uncles, aunts, cousin flying in to put sense in my head. That or they start offering novena for me…… SO it is very important that they won’t find out.

    OR just tell them when caught…… ‘he said he is single!

    How is your sugar daddy dating going?
    I spoke to a few via emails but never made connection. Met one for coffee, although we had a nice conversation, I didn’t feel he is the right SB for me. One cancelled at the last minute and we never re-schedule.

    I’ve been talking to one pot for a month now and I am just waiting for him to find the right time to fly in. He asked if we can start the arrangement then. I thought of this real hard…since I like him a lot and he has been polite and straighforward and answered every questions I asked. So I am considering but will let him know when I see him. I need to validate that what I feel for him right now will be the same when I see him and he understand. So I am just waiting for him to tell me when he is coming.

    Meanwhile I am getting myself prep emotionally and mentally in case he flaked or just in for one time only….

    crossing fingers here…. and knocking on wood!

  234. stephan says:

    James.m: Your addy’s been sent to Dandelion Wine :)

  235. NYGent says:

    SD Guru: as usual you have good ideas/advice. Yes, I’m an “expert” in the field of flakes, so to speak, and yes I’m starting to take a stronger stand, weeding out anyone who raises even the slightest red (even pink) flag. I may actually lose out on some bona fide opportunities this way, but I’d rather wait for the so-called “perfect” situation to come along (recognizing that nobody’s perfect and that’s an unrealistic goal, although one to strive for). It also requires calling people out on bad behavior rather than grinning and bearing it, and that too will lead to loss of some situations, maybe for the better.

  236. FreeSpirit says:

    Thank you all so much for responding!!

    @Bicentennial Baby
    It makes me feel at ease that some of your convos have gone this way before and haven’t turned out to be creepers.

    @Stormcat
    that’s a great idea, I definitely don’t feel comfortable meeting anyone on a street corner! Plus, that is extremely tacky. =/ So I did some research and decided to go with Haru, from looking at the website it seems like a decent place. And the menu is affordable, just in case I get stood up or if he asks to split the bill.

    @SD GURU
    I believe he is a trader, he said that he worked on wall st but didn’t go into detail, I figured that I’d wait until dinner to ask, just in case I need a conversation crutch lol! I clicked on NYC SB’s name and it went to her blog, do you think she would mind if I emailed her?

    I will keep you all posted on how it goes Saturday!! Wish me luck! =D

    Also, similar to Jess’ question, how long should I wait to have sex with a pot SD. I don’t really feel comfortable having sex on the first date, so will most SD’s expect to have sex on the second date?

  237. Stormcat says:

    Lily ~ Hey it’s a two seater, How many others can we fit in? As for the goddess thing, that will have to be a matter of negotiation! I’m not mortal myself, after all.
    What are you still doing up? It’s almost 2:30 AM at your place. You should be in bed getting your beauty rest!

  238. Lily says:

    Stormcat – promise I get shotgun no matter how many others are on our roadtrip with us?
    and that you’ll continue to call me goddess in person? :)

  239. Lily says:

    It’s a good question, especially with travel-to-meet-SD first dates. They’ve put out significant amounts of money to see you and it would be natural for them to have amorous motivations about the whole thing and at least slight hopes that chemistry could really ignite fireworks and passion might carry the two away to somewhere beautiful. I hate an SD to have his enthusiasm dampened by an overly cold-fish attitude SB acting like the queen negotiator who has lost sight of giving that chemistry a chance to take hold in the first place. But of COURSE I am a firm believer in women not getting walked all over.
    It’s a delicate dance.

  240. Stormcat says:

    Jess ~ Affection, not sex, is the sugar that the SB offers. The reason that sex is important to the arrangement, is that it is a natural outgrowth of affection. The reason that chemistry is so important, is that if there is no chemistry there can be no true affection. Without chemistry it it all an act. As sex without affection is also an act. So if you are on the first date and you can answer the question “do you feel chemistry and affection?” in the affirmative than it is fine to go ahead. But if you are unsure then it is not helping the arrangement to go ahead.

  241. Jess says:

    While I’m here, I figure I’ll ask another question. Sex on the first date, is it common? And how does it affect a potential arrangement?

  242. James.m says:

    Dandy, I’d be happy to help, as will Michael, I’m sure. If you don’t want to post it here, you can do it directly.
    Stephan, can you give Dandelion Wine my email? Thanks.
    If Stephan doesn’t see this until tomorrow, you could also get my email from Midwest, Cleo, or Beach, if you have theirs.

  243. Stormcat says:

    Dandelion Wine ~ congradulations on being first! However, being first also carries a certain responsability!!! You cannot simply claim first and then never even address the topic of the thread or wait for several hundred posts before you speak again. We all love you, but you have to perform your duty promptly or you should refrain from userping the position!
    :)

  244. Stormcat says:

    Jess ~ don’t ever expect anyone to do anything or explain anything. In fact you will be best off if you don’t even care about anyone elses motivations for acting the way they do. You are only responsible for the way you act and the motivations for the way you act. If you find that your own motivations and behaviour is flawed you have an internal duty to correct them but you have no duty to correct anyone else’s flawed behaviours or motivations. Once you internalize that you will be impervious to anyone else’s actions and you will simply move on untill you find the person who is right for you in that time. Simple as that!
    Also, If I can again quote one of the goddesses of sugar, Lily (albeit out of context) your only job is to appear chaseable! It is his job to chase you! If he doesn’t do that, don’t dispair, just keep being chaisable and there will be plenty who will chase.

  245. Dandelion Wine says:

    Michael AZ and/or james.m ! Could one (or both) of you wise gentlemen help me interpret a situation similar to carebear’s? Pretty please ^_^

  246. Dandelion Wine says:

    LadyIntim, how dare you speak like that to the “most righteous and decent woman that ever walked the earth”? Have you not read her blog? Because if you have, you’d be quite scared of getting struck by lightning right now…

  247. Jess says:

    I don’t date, so I wouldn’t know. You could say this was like my second date.

  248. Lily says:

    Cleo’s right, Jess. Don that thick skin.

  249. cleo says:

    jess this is in NO way unique to sugar dating

  250. Jess says:

    I guess I just want him to tell me it won’t work out/wasn’t what he expected/whatever so I’m not sitting here wondering what happened. I’m a big girl, I can handle it, gah.

    I should probably get used to this if I’m going to continue sugar dating, right?

  251. Stormcat says:

    Jess, don’t beat yourself up over this! Many people don’t have the confidence to admit that not everyone is a match and further many more people lack the diplomatic wherewithall and courage to face and state that fact. You went to a meet and found no chemistry. It is not a reflection on either of you that you didn’t have chemistry. It is likely that he doesn’t have the ability to accept or admit that and is therefore acting cowardly by pretending otherwise. That is not your problem, it is his problem. You may wish to help him with his problem but that is a whole other subject!

  252. Jess says:

    Well the fact that he started acting very tired not long after we started eating makes me think he was trying to end the date without flat out telling me he wasn’t interested. But then why would he say he wanted to see me again today? I’m too new to this to really understand what’s going on, I guess. I really just want to know what I did wrong if he’s not interested after a quick lunch date.

  253. Stormcat says:

    Regarding the upcoming Godiva pudding/cherry jello match ~ well I doubt I would be very interesting as a competitor in this, but I would be willing to organise, promote, set ground rules, referee, make odds, and take bets. Perhaps it should be a tournament with a tag team match as the finallae! Of course this is the pentultimate spectator sport so we must work out ticket and royality income sharing agreements in advance.

  254. Stormcat says:

    Damn ~ Now I remember why I despise legal work (what a tedium this is) and why I hate Bill Gates (working in word is nothing but pure torture)

  255. Jess says:

    Hey everyone, I’m new to this blog and to sugar dating.

    I had a date with a pot yesterday, and it ended a little strangely. He got very tired, or was pretending to be, so we ended after lunch. He said he wanted to see me again the next day, today, but I haven’t heard from him even after sending a message to tell him when a good time for me was, and I know he’s been on the site today. Does this mean he’s not interested and didn’t want to hurt my feelings? I’m very confused.

  256. Carebear – open up anybody’s profile, and substitute the last 6 characters of the url with my profile # which is 360465 – that should take you to my profile.

  257. carebear says:

    Thank you for inducting me. Whenever I click on your name or a few others, it says profile unavailable. Unless I’m linking to someone’s blog.

    And I’m sorry to continually ignore your question, NYGent. This was my second sd relationship (the first I met offline), I was his first. We never actually exchanged words about gifts or expectations, but that’s what was so nice about it. the problem is, he’s actually a good guy. So something like my age was waring at his conscience. I get it, but I don’t like it. I’m just as happy to say that I knew him and its been a delight.

    So there’s the missing puzzle piece.

    Thank you all once again. Back to ‘work’.

    • SD Guru says:

      @Carebear

      Since this is his first sugar relationship, it’s understandable that he would be conflicted about your age. It’s similar to how some newbie SB’s are conflicted about seeing SD’s who are much older. He has to come to terms with it himself, so just be supportive and listen to what he has to say. Who knows, maybe he will come back later when he clears his head. Old sugars, like old flames, sometimes have a way of finding their way back into your life.

      @Jess
      I’m very confused.

      Don’t be. Always remember action speaks louder than words. What does his action tell you?

      @Cleo
      i’ll be on your team guru…

      Great, with 2 on 3 now I have a fighting chance!! Which one are you going to take on? 😉

  258. cleo says:

    i remember trying to get people to buy intel after the math coprocessor disaster and they all told me i was crazy… like a fox. too bad i couldn’t get anyone to invest FOR me.

  259. Carebear – yes, you are now one of us ….

    BP is a good long term buy at $34, but there are others. Contact me through my profile if you want some ideas.

  260. cleo says:

    carebear: always wear the hot shoes if they work with the outfit

    also i’m with the men, the more chill and uninvested i get the more the men invest in me… so if you are classy and respectful and not broken up about it (while being genuinely sad at the end if a parting becomes obvious) he is more likely to change his mind than if you are desperate.

    and if what he wants is desperation? not your man anywa

    as for selling stock, never make financial decisions emotionally…

  261. carebear says:

    Now here I am at work checking the blog from my phone. Does this mean I’m officially sucked in? Tan pumps it is. Thank you for making the decision for me. And thank you for the advice, I guess ill let him steer and just go along for the ride.

    Now I need advice on how to invest his gift. I’ve been told to buy BP. He gave me a bunch of stock in his company. I’m tempted to sell out of spite and let that channel ll of my vengeance.

  262. Muse says:

    BiBaby – You’re a woman after my heart. I love my carbs and that rice is divine.

    NYC SB- I know that. Hence the winky-face. Stop paying attention to your meetings and focus on important stuff – like the blog. Also, yes, Sept 3rd. Got it all written down and stuff.

  263. cleo says:

    i’ll be on your team guru…

  264. Carebear – first things first. Go with the pumps.

    Go into the meeting with your SD, and be detached from the outcome. Without getting too zen on you, realise that whatever is going to happen will happen. I would suggest that you accept whatever he is going to say, and just be in the moment when you are with him. I am not saying have an attitude of “I don’t care” as it is very obvious that you do, but have an attitude that you are ok with his decision and the world in general.

    There is nothing stronger and sexier than a woman who is comfortable in her own skin and with the world, is striving for more, and does not need another person to make her life a great one. She may want another special person, but does not need one.

    If you come across as needy, upset, strung out, he will run. If you come across as relaxed, calm, at peace with yourself, he will realize what he is losing.

    You are clearly very smart. Use this as an important step in your dating (sugar and IRL) life.

  265. carebear says:

    Oh and the most important part. I’m wearing my favorite black DVF dress with pearls. Should I do:

    A)tan summer pumps that make my legs look 6 feet long (kinda slutty)?

    B) Silver manolos (kinda too dressy)?

    C) Or my grey patent leather open toe sling backs (fitting with the weather. and the situation)

    • SD Guru says:

      @Carebear

      Look on the bright side, at least it’s not over… yet, and you have at least one more gift coming. That’s not as good as continuing the relationship, but it sure is a lot better than what you thought before, no? I’d suggest that you listen to what he has to say and let him be. After all, he is a grown man and should be responsible for his own decisions and actions. You didn’t say whether he had previous experience with SB’s, and if so, what those experiences were like. That could provide some clues to what he is thinking.

      I vote for the slutty look. And please don’t vomit! :)

      @NYGent

      Regardless of the age of your pots, I thought you should be used to that type of flighty behavior by now. The amount of screening may have something to do with it but sometimes that kind of behavior just comes with the territory. As I said, all you can do is to control how you deal with them so that you don’t end up wasting time and money. And that comes with learning from your experiences. So based on the stories you’ve shared you should be an expert at dealing with flakes! :)

      @Bicentennial Baby
      Godiva pudding/cherry jello match with MW & AM? Count me in, heck yeah!

      Wow, 3 against 1 doesn’t sound fair, does it? Or is this a tag team?? 😉

  266. carebear says:

    Ok now I need someone to hold my hand.

    SD just texted and wants to meet tonight or tomorrow night and give me one last ‘gift’. To update those of you who are in the dark, he’s dumping me because 3 months later he still can’t get over my age (30 years less than his).

    Vomit.

    Gee so sorry I have beautiful hair and great legs and enjoy your company. My bad. I thought this website was meant for this kind of stuff.

    Any final advice?

    I’m sure he’ll want to do the usual ‘catch up’ and tell me about his trips, probably seated at the bar over a couple of drinks. Should I even stand up for my case or just let it rest and move on?

    I’m so torn. I’m home on my lunch break, ordered my favorite sandwich from my favorite deli, and I get that text. I’m not eating, just pacing across my apartment. I have no appetite again and can’t talk to anyone about this because. Well. Obviously.

    Thank you all for all the advice you’ve given me so far. You have no idea how helpful it really is.

  267. NYGent says:

    NC Gent: good point, if it is an LDR then both have a greater interest in making sure neither is going to flake on a planned get-together. The closer the distance the easier and less disruptive it is to cancel without notice, rude as it may be. It’s similar to the principle that the person who is traveling the least distance for a meeting, drink, etc. is usually the last to arrive.

  268. NC Gent says:

    Hi all… I have had sugar dates with potential SBs from 18 to 38, and I have only had one last-minute cancellation (she was in her early 30s). I usually have quite a bit of contact with someone before I meet, so we both have quite a bit invested time-wise, and thus we are less likely to back out. This is probably more an artifact of having LDRs and nothing that I am doing particularly well.

  269. Almond Joy formerly Sweet Jess says:

    I posted this on the previous blog:

    SweetJess says:
    August 23, 2010 at 9:59 pm
    @ Bicentennial Baby Thanks! I will update accordingly. I am open to traveling and to traveling SD’s as well.
    @ Carebear Thanks for the heads up!!!

  270. FL-SD says:

    @Micheal AZ Hi Michael !
    I’ve been on the sidelines for a while… still lurking occasionally, but coming back into the sugar bowl now… It’s good to see and talk to everyone again..

  271. NYGent says:

    SDGuru: it’s probably true, generally speaking, that the younger the flightier, but it is very individual. My former 22 y.o. S.B. was totally reliable in terms of being on time, never canceling, etc., and I have had pots in their 30s just flake like a 16-year-old. Of two recent pots (both 34), one hit me up for money at the end of the date, which seemed tacky, and the other requested a “token” (i.e., several hundred dollars) upon meeting to prove I was “serious.” I find that younger SBs, while sometimes flightier, aren’t quite so brazen.

    But these are all generalizations and there are good, bad and in between in all age groups.

  272. Bicentennial Baby says:

    @Stormcat,

    Be sure to hit the DC & Northern VA area and come down 95 maybe to see us?? I do so hope I’m in town! I love convertables!

    @NYC SB,
    Won’t know details until later this week but looks like a trip to Florida may be in my future too!

  273. NYC SB says:

    Dear Muse – we have plans for guac and margaritas with a blogger sd next week… Check your calendar 😉 in addition, I own you friday sept 3rd :)

    Cannot wait to be in the warm weather of miami!

  274. Michael AZ Alleycat says:

    @Stormy “Exactly what does the study of prelaw comprise?” Not really sure, I never did go to any classes….

  275. cleo says:

    yay for road tripping Stormcat!

  276. Stormcat says:

    No Lily ~ I thought you’ld to accompany me!

  277. Lily says:

    Me! You missed me!!!

  278. Stormcat says:

    BBaby ~ Thanks, all the doors and windows at my place . . . already wide open! -or- At times, the only thing opening a door accomplishes, is to let in a bunch of pesky bugs!

    I’m doing alright. I spent that whole last week visiting my closest friends and also made a deposit on one of those little Mercedes ragtops (OOOOOhhh I sense an XC road trip in my future. Hmmm . . . lets see . . . Montreal, Toronto, Chicago, The entire west coast from Vancouver to San Diego, Vegas, Phoenix, Santa Fe, Austin, Florida, North Carolina, DC, and back to NY! Did I miss anyone?)

  279. Stormcat says:

    Oh I almost forgot ~ Good Morning Sugar Cats and Kittens!

  280. Stormcat says:

    Hey Lilly ~ The answer is the same as the one that caught John Lennon. What was the question again?

  281. Stormcat says:

    LadyI ~ Sorry to give you the impression that I wasn’t interested in your bedaddy offer with the $.1K allowance but by posting my yahoo info to you there was an implied acceptance of the offer. Of course I’ll understand entirely if you select Alleycat afterall he’s closer to your time zone but I do wonder . . . Exactly what does the study of prelaw comprise?

  282. BrownEyedGal says:

    Good morning everyone!

    I read every post last night and felt like I’m in a roller coaster……sometimes laughing…sometimes sad hearing other’s dilemma…..i’m so enjoying this blog..

    I hope I could share sometime soon….still in the making….not officially an sb yet…..but working on it…..so far so good.

    catchup with you all tonight….have a nice day everyone!

  283. Lily says:

    Anyone around?

  284. Bicentennial Baby says:

    @SDGuru,

    Godiva pudding/cherry jello match with MW & AM? Count me in, heck yeah!

  285. Michael AZ Alleycat says:

    LadyIn – I thought you had taken yourself off to the sidelines? You made a very convincing argument that you had. Perhaps I was mistaken?

  286. BastIsisKali says:

    Back…cat food has been served…the masters are pleased with my offering.

    Okay…question regarding cancellations.

    Would it be better not to cancel at all? Now, obviously if someone is deathly ill, 100+ temp, etc they shouldn’t be leaving their bed, let alone going on a date. But if it a minor illness or something you can get around with, should you keep the date or risk losing a pot SD? I imagine, most SD/SM’s are reasonable (hence Cleo’s 80% success rate) but there is still that 20% or potentially more, which will look on any cancellation as a forfeiture of their potential SB status.

    So, where’s the line? Depends upon the circumstances?

  287. cleo says:

    if i ever have to cancel a date it goes like this:

    “i’m so sorry *cough cough* but i’ve woken up with some kind of bug and i wouldn’t want to risk infecting you, could we reschedule for… hmmm either monday if i’m better fast or else next wednesday if this drags on?”

    i find that if you immediately offer a new time and are reasonable so are most folks. this has about an 80% success rate and the failures were sort of less than keen to start with.

    that said, i can’t think of too many dates i’ve cancelled. one second date with a pot who found another pot… but i think he might have done that anyway and well, i was really sick :)

    • SD Guru says:

      @NYC SB
      I’m not sure where the one upping blogs are so if you guys would send me links I would appreciate that

      Some of them are followers of your blog so the links are all right there!

      @NYGent
      I always hate doubting people but experience says there is at least a 50% chance or better that she just scheduled with another pot she considers a “better offer.”

      Turns out pot sb was on her third white lie (being charitable here) and now we’re history and on to the next.

      Here are a list of lines i’ve gotten from SBs that I don’t advocate any Sb adopting (all true stories):

      Given the age group you usually deal with, this type of flaky flighty behavior comes with the territory and you should be used to it by now, no? We all want to think that other people have the same common sense and common courtesy as we do, but unfortunately that is not the case. You can’t control what they say or do, all you can control is how you deal with them so that their behavior doesn’t end up wasting your time and money.

      You could give them a taste of their own medicine and double or triple book yourself and then choose to go with the more promising one at the last minute. Ooops, I forgot, a gentleman would never do such things! :)

      @Midwest SB

      Only if you jump in with us handsome!

      A Godiva pudding/cherry jello wrestling match featuring MW and AM… I’m in!! Anyone else? 😉

      @FreeSpirit
      this seems really sketch to me, and I am wary about going. Does anyone else agree? And what should I do?

      Is he a trader? If so, contact NYC SB for help because she’s an expert at dealing with that type of character! :) Stormcat gave you some good advice and safety tips. But if you’re already feeling wary, then trust your instinct and proceed with caution, and don’t do anything you’re not comfortable with. Good luck!

  288. Bicentennial Baby says:

    @BastIsisKali,

    Hey girl, make sure you get your soup/salad for our diet plan we’re working on, ‘kay? I went to the gym tonight with my DH and I’m exercising with you, even if only virtually. :)

    Get cat food, the little buggers will eat you for dinner if you don’t. I know, I have several of them myself. The smaller ones are developing opposable thumbs!

    @Muse,
    I LOVE Chipolte! their lime/cilantro rice is DA BOMB! yummy!

    @Stormcat,
    So sorry to hear about the finality of the divorce ppwk. I hope this means you are opening a new chapter in your life..remember when one door closes, another opens. (If not, knock out a window!)

    @Michael,
    And I was all happy and proud I got carded last week and I’m in my 30’s…wow. I’ll go sulk in my corner now…*sniff*

  289. BastIsisKali says:

    Sorry about the bedbug post….I saw some apparent uneasiness brewing and I thought I would help. Crazy bug lady to the not-so-rescue. Oh well…

    @The Lawyers in the crowd

    I read the Prop 8 decision by Judge Walker…all 138 pages of it…I do not envy you.

    @LadyI

    Get well soon m’dear

    Oye…just got back from work and forgot to stop and get cat food. Must head back out….

  290. Michael AZ Alleycat says:

    People – i get carded when I’m fifty-freakin’-three? Really? Wait, I mean I’m 49…..

  291. Muse says:

    Alleycat- It’s not Chipotle’s fault that you’re so young-looking. You know they have to card anyone who looks under 30, right?

    NYC SB- mmm…Chipotle. We need to have a date soon. I’m thinking guac and margaritas next week. 😉

  292. Stormcat says:

    Benjiman Alleycat Button?

  293. Michael AZ Alleycat says:

    Sorry but I have to share this. I had dinner at Chipotle, ordered a beer and I got carded. Really, Chipotle? WTF?

  294. @ LadyIn – “if you are down with a steady $100 monthly allowance, I could in fact bedaddy you in exchange for some non-specific divorce advice” A little known fact – I did study pre-law. Does that count enough for you to bedaddy me?

    Get better soon.

    My #1 SB is coming over tomorrow morning for a 24 hour play date, will be fun …. and I think she may even meet my daughter as well.

  295. Stormcat says:

    ladyI ~ just yahoo stormcatgl and you know I’ll be there for you!

  296. Stormcat says:

    BBaby ~ hey gorgeous!

    Freespirit ~ google Wall St. restaurants, pick one that seems appropriate, ask him to meet you there at the bar for drinks with the option of dinner. That way you are still in a public place yet not so exposed as meeting on a street corner. Also, have a friend that you will safety call or text after the drinks meet ends, especially if you decide to stay for dinner, and then call or text again after the dinner. etc.
    No need for paranoia, just safety!

  297. Midwest SB says:

    BiBaby – I remember her and how she became offended at comments made about the length of her posts. She seems to have found an outlet and I am happy for her. I’m sure her comment was made in jest with just a little sting to it…if you read her blog you will see what I mean. Regardless, I hope she finds her peace in her healing and her loss.

    Nickey and DearDaddy – Welcome!

  298. Bicentennial Baby says:

    @Freespirit,

    I don’t think it’s a setup. your conversations seem to mirror a few I’ve had although I am settling on a travel situation since all the best pot SD’s I’ve spoken with are not in my area and want someone to fly to them instead. I’m totally cool with that. You probably do need to learn the area you would be visiting if this turns out to be ongoing, I would agree with that.

    @NYGent,

    I am shocked an SB would not remember to send a thank you or otherwise be grateful for gifts and the benefits therein. I would never miss a date without having an amazing reason its just rude and disrespectful.

    On that same note, I’ve had 2 different pots tell me both their last arrangements ended due to disrespectful & ungrateful actions on the part of the SB. We’re talking getting playoff tickets for the SB’s fav team, skybox, dinner, penthouse hotel suite and she is ugly in return because her team didn’t win! Seriously? Where do people get their manners from?

    I hate it when other SB’s treat their SD’s poorly, it makes it harder for the next gal to convince him that not everyone is like that and the world equally has great people in it as much as crappy ones.

  299. DearDaddy says:

    @SB Nickey:

    Welcome to the online aspect of sugar dating! It’s a lot of fun, but not everyone’s cup of tea. I met most of my SB’s online initially, and I have to say I also had to weed out a lot of time wasters and flakes. And in many cases you get to go on dates where they are just totally different in person than on email or IM.
    But you know what? don’t give up yet. You will have a blast meeting all these different folks, and you will find your SD. It’s only a matter of time.
    Have fun!

  300. Bicentennial Baby says:

    you guys realize that the link posted for Spiritual Baby is Bonnie’s website, right?

    If she’s truly getting a $10k monthly allowance I’m happy for her!

    However I suspect it’s sarcasm…she has a wicked bad sense of humor after all.

  301. FreeSpirit says:

    Hey everyone!!

    I’ve been reading the posts on here for the past week and I just want to say thank you so much!! The advice on here has helped me a lot!

    I have a question though, I received an email last night saying this:

    “I really liked your profile. I am very interested in meeting you this evening and discussing and beginning an arrangement. I think you are very classy and very cute. Those are two good traits that can catch and keep my attention. If you like we can swap photos and/or you can text me at 555-5555
    Lets get this party started!”

    As a reply I thanked him for the invitation and compliment, and politely told him that I would not be able to meet him tonight but how about Saturday?

    He said “Saturday night works perfect! Can you send me some pics and your number so we can chat?”

    I gave him my google voice # and I sent him a few respectable pics (I’m not comfortable with sending anything too revealing online) Anyways, we continued to talk through email and he sent me several pictures of himself (all in social settings) I asked if we could meet for lunch on Sat instead of dinner because I’m not familiar with the nyc area (I live in Jersey) and I would feel more comfortable navigating through the city during the day. He replied: “honestly if we are gonna do the arrangement thing youll need to get familiar with wall street which is where i live its up to you” Anyways, to make an already long story short, lol, we agreed to meet Saturday at 5pm. He said to meet him on Wall st and William st and to text him when I arrive. But this seems really sketch to me, and I am wary about going. Does anyone else agree? And what should I do?

    Thanx so much for listening!! <3

  302. Stormcat says:

    Midwest ~ Well at least in NY.

  303. Stormcat says:

    Wow LadyI! 100K . . . a month . . . will you be my sugar mommy?

  304. Midwest SB says:

    Reddamsel38 – you have mail…hope it works!

    Looks like the sugars will never be short on legal help!

    NYGent – I saw her first!!!

  305. SB Nickey says:

    Hello all (waving)

    I’m very new to the online side of Sugar dating, but have had previous relationships like this in the past.

    I am finding that most on this site seem to be flakes and timewasters. And I’m finding it hard to stay motivated with the idea of finding my SD here.

    I would like to thank all of those who put forth their 2 cents and the helpful advice I have read here.

    Maybe my SD will come soon and I can start to embark on the fun filled vactions and passion filled nights that I am longing for….

    Sending you the best,

    Nickey

  306. Stormcat says:

    AM ~ What’s this I read? You’ve lost your sugar and as a result your naughty sister has reopened the dungeon? Shall I weep or celebrate?

  307. Stormcat says:

    Lily Darling ~ It’s nice to see you here! I’m glad you can find a way to come up for air once in a while and grace this forum with your delightful charm! It is comforting for me at least to know that you haven’t completely fallen off into the IRL love abyss with your new toy.

  308. Stormcat says:

    So NYGent are you also good at fenceing?

  309. NYGent says:

    Dear Mrs. Ex.-Tiger Woods: I am a nice guy looking for a nice lady which you seem to be. I do not like Florida much and am turned off by these private compounds but would be willing to relocate and make an exception in your case . . . and while I don’t like cold either, Sweden would be perfectly acceptable. I

    love golf but am more like a 12 handicap rather than a scratch player much less tournament pro, but I am pretty good with the 9 iron (as are you, apparently, so we have that in common!).

    I love little children too, esp. ones who come with a custody allowance in the tens of millions . . .

    feel free to contact me via the site or blog (you do know about S.A. don’t you?)

    J

  310. Stormcat says:

    Yes, as my uncle says, “he’s a shister lawyer” and ditto on the declaration against interest.

  311. Stormcat says:

    NY Gent ~ How about, after confirming and then not showing, “sorry, I’m in fashion and had to be in Milan for the show.”

  312. NYGent says:

    stormcat: do i take it you’re a lawyer, ditto here. (that’s a declaration against interest, not a brag . . .)

  313. NYGent says:

    Anna Molly: it’s because you’re mature and a lady of manners. I am afraid to say it’s fairly rare for SBs on the site (as opposed to the blog)

  314. Stormcat says:

    Carebear ~ those are all fine but if you are going to be hiking in the mountains . . . ?

  315. NYGent says:

    Carebear: somebody once3 said there are no perfect men, only perefect shoes. I’m sorry to say it may be true.

  316. Stormcat says:

    Midwest ~ You’re awsome!!! Thanks.

  317. carebear says:

    “Excuse me. Men…I may not know. Shoes! Shoes…..I know.”

    -Carrie Bradshaw

    =)

    Will you be my friend NYGent?

    Tory is huge in the community I’m in. I’m not into it. I like classics. Jack Rogers and Sperry’s and any ‘fuck me’ open toed sling back in the summer ….Louboutin, Yves St Laurent, Ferragamo, and some Sergio Rossi boots.

    And I only wear Walter Genuin’s on the golf course.

    =)

    I want to be a shoe when I grow up.

  318. Reddamsel38 says:

    Good Evening Sugars!!! So sorry I wasn’t in attendance for the last few days. Work work work. But enough of that. On to the topic questions.
    I don’t think society gives those in sugar relationships fair treatment at all. I believe there is a sense of wonderment , confusion, and envy. Don’t know if it’s because they wish that they could do the same thing or because they can’t seem to understand what the difference is from prostitution. My family probably wouldn’t understand, they would probably ask me why not just get a rich boyfriend? It’s more than that. It has to do with the dynamics of the two people together, and those two people having an “arrangement” between the two of them. It’s for them to decide what they want from each other on a certain level. If they want to take it to another level then it’s on them.

    Now as far as my sugar dating I haven’t even been contacted by anyone. I have some things to do first so I think I’m going to take my profile down until I have everything together first and then come back and hit em with it.

    @Midwest- I couldn’t open what you sent me. Is there any way you could just tell me what you changed?

  319. Anna Molly says:

    Ya know, I’ve never cancelled a Sugar Date….ever!!!

  320. NYGent says:

    Other great stores in Meatpacking: Jeffrey, Stella McCartney, Destination, La Perla. I like Torey Burch too but some younger women think it’s a little too corporate establishment.

  321. NYGent says:

    Carebear: shoes . .. you need to get down to Iris in the Meatpacking district, great stuff.

  322. NYGent says:

    Midwest: intuition.

    Here are a list of lines i’ve gotten from SBs that I don’t advocate any Sb adopting (all true stories):

    “I was thinking our date was Tuesday, not Monday” (this, after saying she could only meet Monday)

    “My computer broke down and didn’t get your message” (sent from an Iphone)

    “I came down sick” (said only after I sent an email to confirm for that night)

    “My uncle just had a heart attack and I’m on my way to the hospital” (sent at 12:55 p.m. for a Sunday 1 p.m. brunch date)

    “I didn’t send a thank you email or text for the dinner and $$ gift because your profile says you’re looking for “NSA” so I figured you didn’t want to be contacted”

    “I had a really great time, can we get together again?” (after a week of silence, said about a date in which she showed up, a different (and less attractive) person than her photos, which were obviously fake, and who insisted upon and received a gift at the outset of the first date)

    “Hi, my name is ___, and this is ___” (said by someone for whom the SB I contacted was merely a stalking horse, and who showed up unannounced as her “chaperone” and “sister” when in fact the chaperone was the SB looking for an SD)

    Obviously i’m doing something wrong. . .

  323. Stormcat says:

    What is this business about bedbugs. My greatgrandmother used to talk about those. Said they ordered a device for killing bedbugs from the Sears and Robuck catalog. When it arrived it was 2 wooden blocks and the instructions read: place bed bug on one block and smash it with the other!

  324. carebear says:

    I’m sure we’re all bed bug free. Calm down everyone.

    This does make sense out of my shopping trip yesterday….I wanted to buy new sheets and couldn’t find them anywhere.

    Ok so all the bloggers, how do you join blogs of people that ‘follow’ you? I feel like a senior citizen trying to learn about email. And is there some underground facebook sugar world? I hate signing on my real life account as it is. And what is skype? The toothfairy?

    So I spent the day taking pictures on my webcam, watching DVR, and eating pizza. I still don’t feel any better. SD texted me saying….

    “I’ll call/write when I get back. Explain myself. I’ve been thinking about you, M”

    So he will write, as in text. So my generation is slammed with the idea that we won’t know how to communicate with eachother 5 years from now because we hide behind computers and text messaging. But someone 30 years older than me is going to rely on a phone call AT MOST to dump me?

    I need shoes. Lots and lots of shoes.

  325. Midwest SB says:

    Welcome back to the game Stormy! Life has a way of guiding us, so follow the path in front of you and you will be amazing!

  326. Midwest SB says:

    NYGent – Thanks for bringing up that very, very important tidbit..if it’s too good to be true, then it probably is.

    I’m glad you found out sooner than later. Good news is that you have graduated the “Sugars Say No’ school of how to be a nice guy without getting used! Congratulations!

  327. Midwest SB says:

    NYGent – How did you know? :-)

    AM – Please darling…I just can’t decide which diamonds I like best…I really need the advice of my sugars!

    BTW – I like cherry too! Godiva pudding could be wonderful too!

  328. Stormcat says:

    Hi sugarcats and kittens!
    I’m not even going to attempt to catch up on all the posts since I was here last. It has been a rather drama filled time for me lately. Signed the final version of the agreement ending my marriage. Her only words were “please don’t try and contact me.” After 20 years of giving her everything I could, that really hurt.
    Anyway, looks like I’m coming out of retirement, I just accepted my first case in more than 5 yrs. I guess retirement at 50 turns out to be unrealistic if you don’t stay married. But it is the perfect case for me get back in with. Opposing counsel is non-local so I don’t have any political backlash playing hardball. Also it turns out that the opposition has been making a living out of sueing everyone in the community so if I shut him down, I’ll gain a lot of positive notoriety. What scares me is that his case seems really stupid. I don’t want to fall for the didn’t-see-it-coming- because-the-guy-seemed-so-lame scenerio!
    Sorry to be so far off subject, I’ll try to comment on the thread questions later.
    Peace!

  329. NYGent says:

    Impressive, Midwest. You’re staying overnight in the Four Seasons of course . . .

  330. nygent says:

    If there’s a piece of advice savvy bloggers like midwest offer that we should all follow its trust your insticts. Turns out pot sb was on her third white lie (being charitable here) and now we’re history and on to the next. The younger sbs think us older gents are easily bamboozled (and often we are) but there is a limit even to our stupidity/gullibility. Ladies, don’t lie early in the process, it’s counterproductive! And gents (and sbs) if it seems too good to be true, it probably is.

  331. Anna Molly says:

    Never had a problem with bed bugs…thank God!!!! Hope I never do….

  332. Anna Molly says:

    I would choose Jello over anything else…at least you can eat it if you have to and it will taste good! Cherry is my flavor of choice 😉

  333. Anna Molly says:

    Are you serious MW? Holy Crap!!!!! If you are, I so want to be you right now…lol. :)

  334. Midwest SB says:

    SD Guru – Only if you jump in with us handsome!

  335. Midwest SB says:

    Phew…so tired from shopping on Michigan St in downtown Chicago. My chauffeur had to make three trips to our Penthouse just to carry all the bags up! Can’t stay long as we have a private showing at Tiffany’s tonight with a midnight cruise on his Super Yacht.

    Ciao sugars! Isn’t life grand?! Mwah, Mwah!

  336. Ivory says:

    Do you think society gives fair treatment to those in sugar daddy relationships?

    I think people realize what it is but never really question it. They just ignore to a certain degree. The whole life is to be descrete.

    How would people you know really feel about your sugar-life if they knew about it? Would some of them be jealous?

    My BF knows and she is my contact if I am meeting a potential. She likes the fact that this arrangement is on my terms plus she knows how I hate real life dating. Hey what can I say I like to not share my home, etc!

    How is your sugar daddy dating going?

    Really slow. Not many hits anymore so I signed up with another site and have been slammed with emails. I can tell that the escorts, hookers, etc…are way higher in numbers than true SB’s.

  337. Lily says:

    LadyI- emailing you

  338. BastIsisKali says:

    Bed bugs are becoming a huge problem in the majority of the country. I have lucked out in that where I live the problems have typically been confined to one area. A dorm had an outbreak a few years ago and the school fought tooth and nail to eradicate them.

    The bed bug infestations were pretty much wiped out during the 20th century. However, over the last ten or so years, there has been a HUGE resurgence in their presence. Though I hear more about them from the east coast (and vicinity) they are all across the country…well, world actually. And do not mistake a fancy, 5-star hotel or resort as being a place where you won’t find them. I heard (from an entomologist) that he personally found some bedbugs in their room at a fancy resort in California a few years ago. Suddenly I felt a bit superior about staying at a hostel. 😉

    If you are really worried about them, do a good check of areas where there are “cracks”. Meaning, places in headboards where they might be hiding. Also, look in that fold in the mattress where the sides/top are. It might take a little work, but if you are really worried about them, it might be worth it.

    They come out at night, attracted by the carbon dioxide you exude while you are sleeping, which is why they are typically in beds and you do not see them.

    Don’t worry, as far as I know there are no known cases of transmittance of infectious disease. They are creepy and they’re cooky, mysterious and spooky, but they are more obnoxious and icky than anything else.

    That being said…I don’t want them in my house!

    Check out the bed bug wikipedia article; it is rather informative. A quick google search will also reveal some good information.

    Wow…I think I went on a ramble-streak again. Well, I hope it was informative and helpful at least.

  339. NYC SB says:

    Ladyi – no worries… I was pretty dead on friday too! Stk must have laced the food with ambian :)

  340. cleo says:

    SD GUru: i’m actually 39 and have considered bumping UP to 40 due to what you’re saying

    hmm SD locker room? i want to find one of those!
    .
    so funny, i read that as 10k/year and thought she was selling herself short *snicker*

  341. carebear says:

    Not very successful yet. But I do ok. I haven’t relied on them in years, but in this economy I always fear I might have to.

    Oh and if you were in the city this weekend, make sure you didn’t get bed bugs (from a hotel or something). There’s a bad infestation and people are getting break outs/sicknesses from them.

  342. Natali says:

    Thanks for the $ making advice! I was looking into freelance writing but that is a tough market. I think I will start blogging away. Once it gets going I will put a link on here for everyone! Let’s see where this adventure takes me!

    As for the last bit of posting here… I poo diamonds and pearls…tehehe

  343. Bicentennial Baby says:

    Well I’m a totally hot former model (true) who makes over $1m a year dancing in rap videos (false/I’m white and have zero rhythm) and I give all of it to charity so that I will qualify for sainthood when I die. My goal in life is to be the patron saint of sugarbabies with bad credit.

    So nonya got it over on me…. *laughs out loud!*

  344. carebear says:

    I make a quarter of a mil a year. I just want a sugar daddy for fun. Like Paris Hilton. I even pay to travel myself, as not to inconvenience the daddies.

  345. NYC SB says:

    Ladyi is my sm and she gives me 50k in allowance :p

    Miss ya lady!

  346. BastIsisKali says:

    Okay…potentially overly simple question…but, as an SB, when searching and contacting SD’s, is there any protocol when it comes to contacting SD/SM’s outside of my area? Isn’t it presumptuous of me to contact someone (example) living in California when I am in Ohio? Or, is there some accepted radius in which long distance contact is okay?

    I have just been assuming that, unless the SD/SM profile specifically states that they travel to my area, I shouldn’t contact them; but am I wrong? Or heck, should I not be contacting anyone anyway, and just wait for them?

    Sheesh…Okay…back to being productive.

  347. BastIsisKali says:

    @Carebear

    Ben & Jerry’s and a glass of wine (or three) tonight…then hit the gym tomorrow. “Love” is biochemically no different than consuming large quantities of chocolate…just FYI. 😉 I wish you well m’dear.

    @SincereSD

    Someone else asked a question earlier and SDGuru gave some wonderful advice which basically amounted to weighing the pro’s and con’s. There ended up being one item in the pro category and multiple con’s. The decision is ultimately yours in how you approach this. But, since it sounds monogamy is something all parties want (for a variety of very legitimate reasons) it sounds like SDGuru has once again provided some of the best advice.

    There are other SB’s in the Sugar Patch. I wish you luck in finding the right one.

    @LadyIntim

    Don’t worry about getting heat…you’re probably hot enough already. 😉

    RE: SpiritualBaby’s post

    For some reason I hear Ms Cleo in my head, with that fake Jamaican accent saying “Call me now for your free reading!”

    But, I could easily be wrong…

    Yay…my students..okay, one student…showed up so I actually did a bit of teaching. It’s volunteer work, but it was great to have someone show finally.

    Happy SugarDay!

  348. Bicentennial Baby says:

    $120,000 a year??

    What could I possibly offer that would net that kind of allowance??

    I guess I don’t care but so much about allowance per se…I.e. I want to get in my range but it’s not the sole consideration. I’ve had some phenomenal offers of allowance above my range but just couldn’t continue the deal because there wasn’t any chemistry or really a lot of interaction going on. I feel like I am stealing from a pot SD if I am not at least enjoying his company on the phone/email, I don’t want him to think of me as entirely mercenary and I have had such a nice group of gentlemen to choose from, i’ve had to turn several I liked down because I’m about a week away from arrangement it seems.

    Travel-wise, I am free to travel weekly so 2x a month would be fine and I probably could work with 2 arrangements without trouble since I’m flying. I have to see how things work out, there is no implied monogamy requested and were that to happen, I would have to request a bigger allowance if so.

    I am glad to hear gifts may not come out of the allowance after all, so if I enter into this with the potential that could happen but usually does not, I likely will be pleasantly surprised by what comes about when my pot SD & I finally meet soon. Of course the sugar makes it sweeter but I truly want my SD to have an awesome time with me and I have genuine fun talking with the ones I am selecting from, so I won’t be in that uncomfortable position of having to “pretend” I like someone just to get to the sugar. I really do like those I am meeting so with patience I know something will work out. :)

  349. NYGent says:

    Had a pot cancel for second date tonite, saying she’d taken sick and wouldn’t make good company. I always hate doubting people but experience says there is at least a 50% hance or better that she just scheduled with another pot she considers a “better offer.” She did say she’d like to reschedule soon (e.g., “Friday is a possibility”), on the other hand she’s been logging on frequently since we met last week, so my gut says it’s a pretext. Not sure I will follow thru with her, need to think about it.

    Spiritual: $10K a month, wow that’s $120K a year or, on a pre-tax basis, the equivalent of $200K a year. Puts you right there in the top 1% of income earners in the country, congrats!

  350. NYC SB says:

    No time to fully catch up but

    I read each and every sb blog and for the most part they are all struggling … I’m not sure where the one upping blogs are so if you guys would send me links I would appreciate that :) … As far as detail and changing key facts… I refuse to do so which is why I do not blog in real time… Never will

  351. I LOVE MY NEW ARRANGEMENT!

    I have met a WONDERFUL SWEETHEART OF A LOVER! I am having the time of my life!

    I am 39 years old. He is 60. My “allowance” is about $10,000.

    I am sharing this information because I know that a lot of “newbies” come here for advice. Unfortunately, I am not capable of keeping up with this blog. If anyone has any questions about how I made this happen (in less than one month!), just click through my name. Go to the “contact us” app and follow directions on how to contact me.

    I look forward to hearing from anyone who would like some good, sound advice.

  352. @ FL-SD – haven’t seen you posting for a while! How are things in Florida? Hope life is good.

    @ SD Guru – “You know when a woman tells you her age ends in a 9 (ie 29, 39), she’s usually a bit older, right?” I’m shocked, shocked!! Btw, if you check out my profile, I say I am 49 (have been for 3-4 years now….).

    @ SincereSD – I thought about this question again for a while this morning. I would probably tell her to take a hike, but I think that is just me.

  353. FL-SD says:

    SincereSD. I wouldn’t get in to the bidding war. If she doesn’t see the benefit in non-financial parts of the arrangement, then her balance is different than yours and it probably will be a short-term thing at best. Sounds like she may seeking the “greenest pasture”… in my experience that behavior continues…

  354. carebear says:

    Thank you all for listening to me last night. I tried talking to one of my guy friends about it thats pretty understanding of the wild shit going on in my life. He doesn’t get why I care about the guy I was sleeping with behind guy-I’m-dating’s back. Eh. Too much to explain.

    But thank you all so much once again, you’re keeping my head screwed on. Sorta.

    I didn’t “call into work sick” I called in “sick of work”, so I’m home today blogging, skyping, and I may organize my toiletries closet. The roller coaster ride of being a sugar baby, right?

    In regards to competitive dating, personally, I don’t settle and I don’t compete. Except with the man I’m in bed with….and I always win. =)

    What is everyone else doing today? Give me something fun to read about. =)

    ONCE AGAIN THANK YOU! I love you guys! (in sobbing voice)

  355. photogirl says:

    BiCentennial Baby With my SD, gifts, travel, dinner etc. have alway been above and beyond my allowance. It is long distance so of course there is ALWAYS travel expenses…we only get to see each other about one weekend a month. We’ve been together for about 10 months now…and he has been absolutely wonderful to me :)

    NY Gent and Sincere nice to see you two!

    • SD Guru says:

      Wow, a new topic and there is so much to get to…. I’ll comment on the topic at the end of my post.

      @LadyIntim
      I hate that some real life SBs become discouraged because others tell unrealistic stories of success just to one-up the community.

      It’s been a bit tricky to figure out facts from fiction in some of the SB blogs. I don’t doubt there are very generous SD’s out there, but some stories do come across as flights of fancy.

      I am never with a man less that 2 decades my senior and generally dislike cheap things and working.

      You were born to be a trophy wife/SB!! :)

      @Midwest SB
      AM/ NM is looking for a fight. We need some way for her to expend that pent up energy! Shall we go dancing? Mechanical bull riding? Karaoke?…. That’s it…Roller Derby!

      Ha… roller derby is for wimps…. Wrestling naked in mud, oil, or jello can soak up all that pent up energy in no time… 😉

      @Carebear
      I didn’t think this would hit me this hard…Fairytale is over… Lesson learned. No more bragging or feeling on top of the world…

      I’m sorry to hear about your situation and thanks for sharing. Here’s what I wrote in my blog about one of the lessons learned: “Things do come to an end and it’s usually sooner than expected. Despite the best intentions on both sides, you just never know how things will play out so you have to be mentally ready for it to end.”

      For all I know since he has issues with my age, he probably thinks I’m just after his money.

      What’s been his experience as a SD? If he is experienced, then he should have no problem being with a SB who is much younger. But if he is new to the sugar world, then that could explain his unease with your age.

      @Michael
      my new #1 is 28 years old, and is a hospice nurse. At least she is older than my last SB…. slowly creeping up in age. My #2 is 29.

      Thanks for sharing that info. Perhaps you’ve found your sweet spot in the late twenty’s age group. You know when a woman tells you her age ends in a 9 (ie 29, 39), she’s usually a bit older, right? :)

      @SincereSD
      Have any SD been involved in a competitive bidding situation for a pot SB? How did you handle it?… reviewed the pros and cons of each SD with her … I win in all areas excluding the allowance.

      My take is that there is no need to get into a competitive bidding situation. As I mentioned in the previous blog, for some SB’s the allowance is the most important criteria. And from what you described that clearly is the case with her. Ask yourself whether a pot SB who values the allowance above all other factors is a good match for you. If not, simply wish her well and move on. Besides, see my comment above about sugar relationships ending sooner than expected. She can choose the highest bidder, but there is no telling how long it will last. So don’t be surprised if she comes back in the picture at some point. How old is she?

      Here’s one of the most important lessons for SD’s as I mentioned in my blog… The demand for SD’s who are willing to provide an allowance far exceeds the supply of SB’s who seek them. Keep that in mind and you’ll be fine!

      @Bicentennial Baby
      My situation is a travel one so I will likely only be seeing my SD 2, maybe 3x at most per month.

      Don’t underestimate the time, effort, and money it takes to make a travel relationship work. Once or maybe twice a month is more realistic if air travel is involved for either or both parties.

      exactly WHAT is considered part of the allowance?? Gifts, shopping, etc are considered contributing to the allowance, is that correct?

      That’s up to you and your pot SD to decide. It’s best to have an open and honest discussion about it so that there are no surprises for either side later. Generally speaking, allowance refers to the cash you receive and everything else is in addition. He may end up spending a lot more than the allowance when you factor in the cost of travel, gifts, shopping, fine dining, spa, etc.

      Here’s another important lesson for SD’s as I mentioned in my blog… The allowance may be just the starting point of your total expenditure in a sugar relationship. You should factor in all the other expenses to get a true sense of how much you are willing/able to spend.

      ————————–

      As for the blog question: How would people you know really feel about your sugar-life if they knew about it? Would some of them be jealous?

      For most people in the sugar world they simply can’t share their adventures with people in their real life (friends, families, etc). That’s why there is a large blog community for people to share their sugar experiences anonymously (well, some are more discreet and anonymous than others). However, discussing some of the more sensitive subjects in mixed company can be difficult. That’s why I have a small group of like minded and experienced SD “friends” who I share experiences and opinions with in much greater detail. It’s kind of like “locker room” talk, and it’s similar to the FB communities SB’s have to share their secrets. I wonder if there are more “SD locker rooms” out there.

      Sorry for the long post!

  356. Good Morning everyone!!

    Hope all is well in sugar world for everyone. Still waiting for a non flaky one. You guys have provided some good advice on all aspects of the sugar world. Just want to say a big thank you. Hopeful i find my ken doll!wish me luck,lol! you guys have a great day

    To answer the blog question- two of my friends Ive told about me joining the sugar bowl are so excited about what i told them. They didnt pass judgement on me like i thought they would (heck they signed up!lol) so i believe different people have different opinions about the sugarworld. I love it!

  357. NYGent says:

    BiCentennial: unless there’s an agreement to the contrary (and it would be fairly unusual), gifts, travel etc are extras and are not deducted from the agreed allowance (assuming there is an agreed allowance to begin with).

    The confusion sometimes arises because of the way the site asks SBs and SDs the financial question. SBs are asked to list “how much financial assistance you are looking for”, i.e., allowance. SDs are asked “how much are you willing to spend, total, on an SB per month (including gifts, etc.). So if the SB puts 3-5 and the SD puts 3-5 they may think they are on the same page, but they aren’t exactly. So both parties need to be clear in discussions up front about exactly how much allowance and where extras fit in.

  358. SincereSD says:

    Btw, I should clarify my comment to Kiki wrt stats and responses. The information comes from a pot SB that I became friends with. She claims these are results from her and her friends from current sugar experiences fwiw.

    Wrt my bidding question, my comment was based on a situation last summer. The comments in the previous blog about allowances made me curious to hear how others would have reacted.

  359. Anna Molly says:

    Lily ~ Hubby knows I see other people and he can see other people too if he desires, but, we do not talk about details. I just don’t think it would be good for me to talk about the details of my other relationships with him and it wouldn’t be fair to SD because he trusts me to be discreet and I wouldn’t do anything to betray that.

    While he knows I’m dating, he doesn’t know I’m sugar dating. I keep that part a secret. I put most of my sugar into my rainy day fund 😀

  360. SincereSD says:

    Ms Taken says: Is this a torturous decision for her, btw? … In a sugar relationship, SincereSD, I don’t think you can trump sugar. IMHO

    Your comment about trumping sugar is a brillant observation and unfortunately I think you are right. It was a painful decision for her last week but I think time heals. Signs of disengaged are evident as our conversations and IM has subsided from several times a day to short communications every other day.

    Michael AZ Alleycat says: Dig your heels in, don’t start bidding. … Make it totally her decision.

    I gave her a token increase to show her I was sympathetic to her needs and told her to think about it … it would be her decision.

    BastIsisKali says: Just a quick question for you…why can’t she have both? Does she prefer to remain monogamous with her SD or is that a requirement from you and/or the other potential SD?
    Lily says: you want monogamy from your SB? Is that why she can’t see both of you?

    She did hint at seeing the both of us; however, as I asked her whether she could handle 2 SD, she quickly came to the conclusion that it wasn’t optimal. Btw, I want sugar monogamy in my relationships. Otherwise, I will not go over and above for my SB … I will always be looking for someone better and the relationship will be short lived.

    Bicentennial Baby says: Gifts, shopping, etc are considered contributing to the allowance, is that correct?

    I think it depends on the SD. I treat gifts, surprises and other bonuses as expressions of my appreciation; therefore, I do not deduct them from the allowance. lOTOH, I don’t know if my approach is the best as I’m pretty generous and sometimes turns into sugar drama because the treatment is expected or the motivation is questioned. SD Guru would call this ‘sugar drama”.

  361. Anna Molly says:

    Good morning everyone!!! :)

    I will get around to the questions eventually 😀

  362. Bicentennial Baby says:

    @Bunnygirl27,

    I had to laugh at your comment about being “too old”…I’m in my mid 30’s and I worry about not being 29! *laughs*. And oddly enough, my potentials have all been in their mid to late 40’s, I was really surprised that I don’t appeal to the over 55 set. I think I’m too old for them..most seem to want the 18-25 year olds but hey that’s ok, I am MORE than happy with the age 40+ guys who are left over for me and my age group!
    I think 10-15 years is a perfect age gap, you are from different generations so you have different viewpoints & experiences but aren’t so far apart you can’t relate to each other easily.

    @Lady I,
    I dislike cheap things and working too girlfriend…you are so not alone on that! I had to laugh at your honesty but I think I’m going to work your quote into a sentence somehow later today IRL.

    @Lily,
    How are you without sugar?? I saw your photos you sent me, you so should be in the sugarbowl right now. If I can have success I know you can too!

    Regarding dipping in the bowl, I do exactly that and my heart belongs quite squarely to my husband. I don’t see an issue but again, I have permission and we talk about everything, including ground rules. My arrangement can’t interfere with family planned time (i.e. vacations, getting the kids to camp, etc) and we only talk about it during certain hours of the day. I don’t discuss my potentials’ lives or bring up what they do/like etc around him unless he directly asks because no one wants to constantly hear about someone else, no matter how open the relationship is and I respect that.

    I have looked upon this as more of an enhancement in some areas. I get to be happy, get nice gifts, enjoy things I could never afford otherwise and that happiness rubs off at home because I am a more pleasant person because of the benefits. If I may be so lucky as to learn an intimate trick or two, I will be happy to add that to my own love life and hopefully bring happiness to my husband as well.

    See the great thing about NSA/sugar relationships is that you’re going into it knowing there’s an expiration date. If things don’t work out, there should not be crying/wingeing/drama like with eHarmony dating. The other parties IMHO don’t want you to get to the point of giving them your heart because that will end up in a drama-filled situation rather than the fun and affection of an arrangement. the gentlemen I am speaking with clearly do NOT want a wife or someone blowing up their cellphone with “I love yous….why haven’t you called?” BS all the time.

    I keep it light and fun and I try to do the same at home for my husband because ultimately he will be my sugardaddy when I’m old and 64 and no one is looking my way anymore. so I am careful to appreciate what I have at home even if I am grateful for the sugar side of life. I also am careful to try to reinforce my SD’s situation and not disturb his home life, nag, whine, etc.

    My sugar relationship with him should be something he looks forward to and hopefully he bestows some kindness and good mood upon his family as a result. I respect the need for discretion so I have been very lucky in my search. I don’t think you need to get rid of one to enjoy the other but again, this depends on the person you are with and how ok they are with knowing that side of you exists. If they’re not ok with it to begin with, I would question if they’re ultimately the right person for you long term. Only you can answer that for yourself.

  363. Lily says:

    Midwest, since when are you searching again? I thought you were in an arrangement? Hope it ended amicably, if it ended.

    SincereSD, you want monogamy from your SB? Is that why she can’t see both of you?

    carebear – I love your posts as much as Michael does. :) if you really care for him tell him your feelings and then let him decide.

    How many blog SBs are not single?

    I’m struggling without sugar, but I’m not exactly single anymore (& especially not in my heart—I’m smitten with a handsome “regular Joe” type guy that I’ve been seeing for a month).

    I’d love some input from those ladies on here who openly or discretely dip into the sugarbowl despite their heart belonging to their main squeeze….

  364. Lily says:

    LadyI, I LOVE you!
    Disliking cheap things & working. Classic. Own it, girl, honesty becomes you.
    Mwah!

  365. LadyIntim says:

    Not that anything is wrong with inexpensive things or working. Just not my preference.

  366. LadyIntim says:

    Wow! And just like this I am back on track at the Gym! Yay!

    Hum di dum di da doooooooooooo

    Question: How would people you know really feel about your sugar-life if they knew about it? Would some of them be jealous?

    Answer: The people in my life have always known and just took it for a fact. To this day I get random comments from facebook friends that I used to know in grade school, asking “Are you a trophy wife yet?” Not because I am drop dead gorgeous or whatever, but because that undying SB quality has been in me since I can remember. I don’t walk around telling people about my lifestyle, but they usually add the two and two together as I am never with a man less that 2 decades my senior and generally dislike cheap things and working.

  367. Bunnygirl_27 says:

    Hey! I’m new to commenting in the blog. I was searching for another SD for awhile but was too afraid to follow through, because of guilt over already having one. I just want an SD that I feel more a connection to! Now I’m so glad I have! I just found a new SD recently and I had SO much fun with him. He’s amazing! Now I just have to hope that he doesn’t get tired of me…or think I’m too old (27…he’s says he usually goes for 18-21 yr olds but that I don’t look my age…whew!) I wish I could see him again already(and not just because of the sugar!) and I just saw him yesterday, lol! I am starting grad school this week, though, so I need to make sure I find a balance between being a SB and working hard on my degree.

    This blog is so interesting! I love reading all the entries and replies.

    As for how people would feel if they knew about my sugar life– they wouldn’t understand it. I know I would be judged. But my goal is to be happy and to spend more time on my degree and less time on working a stupid minimum wage job like in my undergrad. I get to hang out with awesome men AND concentrate on school to get a REAL job someday. How does it get better than that?

  368. Bicentennial Baby says:

    General question, since allowance/sugar seems to come up as a stumbling block a lot…

    exactly WHAT is considered part of the allowance??

    For ex, my range is listed at $1,000 to $3,000 per mo. My situation is a travel one so I will likely only be seeing my SD 2, maybe 3x at most per month. We are both fine with this due to discretion, scheduling, etc. However it is my understanding that the allowance does NOT get deducted by travel costs, dinner, hotel or special occasion gifts.

    Gifts, shopping, etc are considered contributing to the allowance, is that correct? So if my allowance is $2,000 per month, and I go shopping and spend say $700 on a piece of jewelry or a laptop and that’s all for that month then the remaining $1,300 is available for spending cash? Or is it that allowance is paid up front and if I want something nice, I pay for it out of that myself?

    I am new and a little awkward on this subject, my pot SD has indicated clearly allowance and gifts are no problem but I don’t want to be rude and make a mistaken expectation.

    Can anyone advise on how they handle this, either SD’s or SB’s??

  369. Michael AZ Alleycat says:

    SincereSD- Dig your heels in, don’t start bidding. If you do, the money us the main thing for her and you. Tell her “this is who I am, take it or leave it. Come with me and you will have a GREAT time. Go with him, you will have a sh*tty time but you will have more money”. Make it totally her decision.

  370. carebear says:

    Thank you, I love you too. But I do feel the need to see other people.

  371. Ms. Taken says:

    @SincereSD – It would seem to me that if she has a connection with both of you then she would just go with the other SD since allowance amount appears to be the tie-breaker for her – especially since you’re superior on all other fronts.

    Is this a torturous decision for her, btw?

    If it’s just about the money to her because of her immediate needs, then she may be “settling” for your smaller allowance and in the very short-term could become resentful, etc. Since she may not be in a position to offer the “hot guy discount” presently :), you two should probably postpone this arrangement until she can better afford you – what with the mutual connection and all. Otherwise, you could find yourself in this bidding war again before to long.

    In a sugar relationship, SincereSD, I don’t think you can trump sugar. IMHO

  372. Carebear – I think I am falling in love with you …. I love love love your honesty.

  373. Bicentennial Baby says:

    Ok, time to answer this week’s blog topic. Questions include:
    1.) Do you think society gives fair treatment to those in sugar daddy relationships?

    No, I don’t but I am ok with that. I think in a way, the social stigma of it keeps us discreet and it also bonds the sugar community together more closely. Traditional marriage is under a lot of attack (and failure) and in a way I understand the need for us to promote marriage as the outcome of choice in order to build and maintain a stable society, esp if children are involved. Notice I don’t say opposite sex marriage either, I think bisexual and gay individuals have every right to be as miserable as the rest of us! Who says straight people get all the fun?? *laughs*

    Now in saying the above, there is a place for sugar too. I see sugar as a way of many people keeping their marriages together or meeting needs that cannot be met safely otherwise. Many lovely men I have spoken with love their wives but for various reasons no longer receive affection or sex at home. Others are sadly saddled with situations where intimacy is there but the negativity in the household outweighs the positive and they seek that elsewhere. Of course a woman has the right to complain about a hard day watching the kids and picking up her hubby’s underwear off the floor and the fact the dog ate the rosebush AGAIN…just not EVERY single day and night a man comes home.

    I may take fire for this but I wholeheartedly agree with Holly Hills’ opinion (author of Sugarbabe) that a man doesn’t want to come home day in and day out to a bunch of drama from a woman who isn’t keeping herself up and is closing her legs all the time. I thank God daily I am not a man because I would be a very difficult man with high standards and unlikely to put up with half the s&^% I see other women putting their mates through (but ONLY if he is paying the bills and taking care of me the best he can. Slackers may be treated however they deserve).

    2.) How would people you know really feel about your sugar-life if they knew about it? Would some of them be jealous?

    No, I would be cast out of my community, my mother would disown me, my grandparents would likely do the same and I would be kicked out of my church. My very BFF would ask why I hadn’t done it sooner but with her as the sole exception, none of my friends would understand. They think its better to divorce a man without money and then go marry for it again as the far better alternative to my situation where I am free to seek an SD. I personally think breaking up my family when I don’t have to and don’t want to is stupid. Serial monogamy is as bad or perhaps worse in my book as any open marriage that remains committed could EVER be.

    3.) How is your sugar daddy dating going? Excellent!! I have a meeting set up in less than 2 weeks and I am super excited to be (hopefully) a real life SB after all! I have met some of the most awesome and kind men of quality and the experience overall has been positive. I am approaching this with anticipation and the expectation my journey will be a good one. Sure there are PJ’s and rude wannabees as well I’ve encountered but what I’ve learned about myself and my marriage has been more than worth it. It has strengthened my understanding of myself and my partner and opened my mind to be supportive and compassionate of the free will and choices of others. Hopefully getting to begin to enjoy an arrangement with a wonderful kind SD will just prove to be icing on the cupcake!

  374. carebear says:

    I like that question….“How would people you know really feel about your sugar-life if they knew about it? Would some of them be jealous?”

    Lets see, my parents would disown me and cut me off financially for the rest of my life and probably never talk to me again. The rest of my family that already ignores me would finally have a reason to talk so much shit. The few friends that I do have would block me, defriend me, shun me, and whatever else and call me a whore and a slut. My boyfriend would be heartbroken and his entire family would shun me. I would lose my job, and my entire reputation in this small, VERY CONSERVATIVE community. And everyone else on my past resume would hear about it and never give me a clear name ever again.

    But when I climb on top of ‘him’, I’ve never felt such a rush. And I love it.

    =)

  375. “How would people you know really feel about your sugar-life if they knew about it? Would some of them be jealous?”

    My nephew would laugh his ass off, and want to see photos, and do a cost / benefit analysis. He’s an attorney… say no more.

    My brother would be really mad at me but also really curious.

    My sister-in-law would be disgusted in me.

    My daughter would go “huh? but she’s really nice, I like her!”

    My friends who know me would just roll their eyes at me.

    My psych friends would want to have a serious discussion about it all.

    Everybody else would be curious.

    And I would want to go and have a fantastic dinner with my SB, have some wonderful wine, great conversation, many laughs, and then go and get laid. For several hours. Then do it all over again… 😉

  376. BastIsisKali says:

    @SincereSD

    Just a quick question for you…why can’t she have both? Does she prefer to remain monogamous with her SD or is that a requirement from you and/or the other potential SD?

  377. BastIsisKali says:

    @carebear

    **hugs** I’m sorry it didn’t work out. So far it seems everyone gave you excellent advice and that you are being intelligent about this. I hope, however this turns out, that it ends up with the best outcome for both of you.

    @NM
    Naughty, naughty, naughty…..I like you. 😉

    Welcome to a new blog everyone! And a new week!

  378. SincereSD says:

    A question for SD to answer *and maybe SB for perspective*

    Have any SD been involved in a competitive bidding situation for a pot SB? How did you handle it?

    I thought I found the perfect (for me) SB. We were all set to start a relationship as the chemistry, fit and attraction were great. The only issue was my allowance was slightly on the low side for her level of indebtedness.

    As she wound down her search and cancelled pending dates, one of the previous pot SD changed his position on P4P/weekly into an ongoing monthly commitment. His offer is twice my allowance. I reviewed the pros and cons of each SD with her … I win in all areas excluding the allowance.

    I told her to take a week or two to get to know him and then decide which who then best SD would be.

    How would you SD have done in this situation?

    How would you SB decide which SD to choose and what traits are most important to you?

  379. Midwest SB says:

    Carebear – it hurts to be turned down…even when you’re not that into someone. It’s a natural reaction, so no punching necessary! Hope it works out the way it is supposed to. Sugar is a roller coaster ride…it’s part of the fun!

  380. carebear says:

    PS- at this point in time, anyone has the right to punch me in the face for being so dramatic. seriously.

  381. carebear says:

    Thank you all for the advice. He said he would contact me later this week. Assuming he does I might say something then.

    This is another point of these relationships, they’re no strings. If he wants to cut me off then thats part of the rules. I would rather take it like a champ and prove my maturity, then come off as desperate. For all I know since he has issues with my age, he probably thinks I’m just after his money.

    Lesson learned. No more bragging or feeling on top of the world until I put myself on top on my own.

    And I need a glass of wine. or 6.

  382. James.m says:

    Carebear. I really think you’re misreading the message. Give him Michael’s message, tell him it’s OK. He doesn’t want to lose you. Help him not lose you

  383. Naughty Molly says:

    I’m sorry Carebear, I know how you feel…

  384. carebear says:

    I told him if thats what he really wants then I understand, and that I didn’t want to make him unhappy. In his last email he wrote “I loved seeing you last night, really really.” And tonight’s text wrote “I’ve been thinking a lot about you and I don’t think I should see you. You’re too young! And I’m having terrible guilt pangs about it. Really. Its killing me. Soon, M”

    Our relationship is new, and he’s always been on the fence about my age. I don’t see it as a problem as I think he’s gorgeous and amazing, and everyone says I act way too old for my age. I didn’t think this would hit me this hard. I feel like someone punched a hole in my chest and I have tears in my eyes. I feel like I just got dumped all over again by my high school boyfriend. Besides being an open checkbook, he was a really amazing person to listen to. Not talk to, but listen to. I highly doubt we’ll see eachother again.

    Fairytale is over.

    Thank you all for listening. I can’t talk to anyone about this stuff. Except him. And you guys.

  385. Naughty Molly says:

    Someone wants a piece of me? OOOOOO, I like that….Roller Derby!!!!!

  386. Midwest SB says:

    Carebear – stellar advice from the men…who else would know better!

    BiBaby – That’s it…Roller Derby! I could see her doing that…too funny! It’s alive and well in my little corner of the world!

    Violet – congrats on something so very elusive to most of us. Had I been paying attention in my early years, I may have forgone the “he’s just a pervert” to thinking “I might be onto something!”.

  387. James.m says:

    Carebear – Michael is spot on! Don’t let oldSD off the hook that easily, because he doesn’t really want to get off the hook. OldSD just needs to know you think it’s ok, you like the relationship, and you want to be his SB.

  388. NYGent says:

    Carebear: hit the links, takes your mind off troubles almost as well as Merlot does.

  389. hey everyone! i’m new just wanted to say hi.

    check out my blog if you’re that bored…lol 😉

    i’m actually posting a blog about how i accidentally stumbled into potential sugar not once, but three times, and didn’t even realize it..!

    getting back to the question at hand (i’m not yet experienced enough to answer all of them) i haven’t experienced jealousy. not that i’m aware of anyway. i try to avoid those types of people.

    most people i tell about …beneficial dating relationships are always curious and a little bit in awe….

    i also suspect that’s partially because the the city i’m from is a little backwoods… but i love it!!!! lol

    xo
    v

  390. Bicentennial Baby says:

    Now I am just wondering how Naughty NM really is? let’s get her to expend her energy bungee jumping? Rock climbing? Roller blading? too bad she’s not in my part of the world… 😉

  391. Carebear – txt him back and tell him what you just said “thats the whole point of these relationships, they’re unconventional.” and that’s why it works so well, and it is so much fun, and you can’t wait to see him again!

    He just needs some reassurance.

  392. SD Guru –
    Since you so politely asked, my new #1 is 28 years old, and is a hospice nurse. At least she is older than my last SB…. slowly creeping up in age. My #2 is 29.

    LadyI – how did you know my nickname was Brat?

  393. carebear says:

    Ok I need a hug. This always happens. As soon as I get even an inch ahead of myself, karma comes around and smacks me in the face then kicks me when I’m down. I’ve known my current SD relationship would come to an end soon, but I think it may be happening immediately. He just sent me a text saying he’s awake at 3 am in Europe not being able to sleep because I’m too young for him. Which I am, by about 30 years. But thats the whole point of these relationships, they’re unconventional. I feel like I just took the tallest drop on the most dangerous roller coaster and I’m about to vomit. I wasn’t counting on anything, but he was going to help me acheive a lot of goals by 2011. All of my momentum is gone. Back to being the girl next door.

    Sad. =(

  394. Midwest SB says:

    Good cover Lady I….that’s your story! Enjoy the gym sweetie!

    OC – Yes, I agree. I just read a new blog that does appear to have too much information, so perhaps here is a safe place to increase the awareness. I’m sure if her men read the blog, they would be upset at the amount of detail included.

    AM/ NM is looking for a fight. We need some way for her to expend that pent up energy! Shall we go dancing? Mechanical bull riding? Karaoke?

  395. Nite LadyI… I am off too. Gonna go ride my solid gold beach cruiser with it’s 100 million dollars worth of diamonds adorning it.
    Oh wait, no it is just a banged up white one that has carried me a 100 million beach miles on it! Nite Sugars!

  396. Naughty Molly says:

    i should say previous blog…..

    NO, I didn’t capitalize…got something to say about it??? Huh???? Do ya???

  397. LadyI we will just refer to him as sbB (secret boyfriend Brad)… lol
    Yes, all is getting a bit better with each day that passes, thanks for asking 😉

    Midwest, you and I know the ones who put too much true info in their writings. Those are the ones I am sighing about…
    I just end up feeling bad if I say something to them, but wince at the detailed wording in their sugar story.
    ~double sigh…

  398. Naughty Molly says:

    Someone commented on the previous post about how she was concerned with her body type. Let me just say that I have a voluptuous figure and I haven’t had any issues with finding a SD. I’ve had many complements on my body. Be confident and proud of who you are! There is nothing sexier than a condident woman.
    If losing weight will make you feel better then do it, but, don’t do it because you feel that is how someone else wants you to be. Be who you are and you will find the right person! Don’t give up and pe patient with this, it won’t happen overnight, but, when it does, it will be oh so sweet. I wish you all the best and Good Luck.

  399. Midwest SB says:

    LadyI – he will be calling from my line to let you know he’s running late :-)

  400. Midwest SB says:

    OC – Hi Chica. We can only trust that the person has had the sense to change the information enough to keep it vague yet still share parts of the experience that make it meaningful. Locale and profession can be immediate clues, but the people I have met would NEVER put an accurate, timely description in their blog. it does seem obscure though until someone has an experience like Natali’s where the ex-wife or ex-sb is going after every dollar and using extortion to make it happen. In that case, who’s fault is it in the end? We all take our chances whether it be with our trust, our bodies, our safety, etc. What were/ are you willing to risk? Mind you, I’m stating this objectively as I would never even consider risking discretion on behalf of my sugar friends. It’s too important in my world…”do unto others”.

    LadyI – too funny!

  401. With Sugar dating and or blog reading you need to take it all in. Take off the rose colored glasses and crack that sugar coated shell to see the true center of the story. But it all makes for good reading. I love sugar tales!

  402. Midwest SB says:

    LadyI – Hi! Does that make me a participant? Perhaps now I’ll know the lingo in case someone is testing me….can one learn the lifestyle after 40? Is this my “mid-life crisis”?

    I’m in an odd mood tonight…exploring the other side with NM! No vino needed.

    Hi Sincere! Your stats sound about right in my book. The numbers are proportionately the same as my volume is different. I have noticed a very consistent group of gents who write every time I put up a profile. Makes the mind reel.

  403. SincereSD says:

    kiki says: I’m a little bit perplexed – I had an account her in the past, with lots of success. I was getting around a dozen new potSDs contacting me every week. I don’t know if that’s a lot, but for me that was quite the selection! … Except this time, no bites.

    Don’t know if I have any advice wrt your profile but I can give you some reference points to how other SB profiles in Toronto are fairing as I have been talking to other SB in your area. These stats are based on profile that were created late July.

    1. Highest # of emails exceeded 120 in 3 weeks. The profile was well written and the pics were professional quality. She was very attractive, had a stunning smile and had a sexy club outfit in one of the photos.
    2. Lowest # of emails was 10. The profile was several line long, dull and did not include a picture.
    3. The volume of emails tend to trail off after the 1st 2 weeks.

  404. Naughty Molly says:

    ooooo, sounds like fun Midwest!!!!

  405. Midwest SB says:

    I went exploring the followers of NYC and SD Guru’s blogs…interesting characters out there. Some are definitely for the faint of heart. Makes me wonder which are fiction/erotica and which ones are real.

    • Hi Sugars! Yes, MidWest some are definitely muy caliente!
      I can’t help but worry that some of them aren’t aware of
      some of the details they write about are big red neon clues
      as to who this person is in real life. If you change their name
      but tell their local, kids gender, age, ethnicity and profession!
      ~sigh…
      How do you gently tell them that sugar dating has no hard and
      fast rules, but being kind while observing discretion will add a ton of
      Sugar Karma to your Sugar search and sugar dating outcome.
      OC’s sugar quote for the day…
      “How you treat me is your Karma, how I react is mine”.

      xoxox OC

  406. Naughty Molly says:

    Ahhhhh, I have a bunch of stories on all the things I’ve done and still do 😉

  407. Midwest SB says:

    I believe it stands for “The Things We Do” and it seems to be about the s/D relationships.

  408. Naughty Molly says:

    hehehehe….yeah! 007! 😉
    That is a good idea…maybe I’ll watch a good movie.

    Dom? MMMMMMM, could be NYGent…maybe i should start my own “D” blog…lol

  409. NYGent says:

    NM: would be better if it was a 007 . . .

    i don’t know what TTWD is either . . . but i have a feeling the “D” stands for dom . . .

  410. Naughty Molly says:

    Yeah, Merlot is GOOD!!! Would be better if it was a 07….oh well, I’ll take what I can get at this point….lol

  411. Naughty Molly says:

    NYGent!!! Hey Sweetness!!! Yes it does 😉

    Good to see ya! Hope things are going well for you!

  412. Naughty Molly says:

    Hmmmm, what is a TTWD blog?

    I never said that I was the sharpest tool in the tool shed did I? hehehehe

  413. NYGent says:

    Anna Molly: sorry to hear — but a bottle of merlot sure helps take the sting off, i’m sure!

  414. Midwest SB says:

    I’ve been reading some of the TTWD blogs lately…very interesting indeed. Let’s say I”ve gained a whole new view of the lifestyle.

  415. Naughty Molly says:

    The dungeon is always open to you Midwest 😉

  416. Naughty Molly says:

    Hello Bi! Thank you for asking! Well, it was a distance thing and I’ll just leave it at that. We will contiue to talk, so, we’ll see :)

  417. Midwest SB says:

    Natali – Since you’re traveling anyway, why don’t you contact AAA, USAA or similar places who ask you to rank travel destinations and see if they have something for you. Visit their web sites as well. You must, must, must blog about traveling in a RV to share your experiences.

    Companies who own large web sites look for internet savvy people who can keep the content updated. This can be done from anywhere. Check with staffing companies to see if they have something in that arena.

    You could always do phone sex or internet sex chat :-) (Really, really kidding!)

  418. Bicentennial Baby says:

    @Naughty Molly,

    I’m so sorry your Monday sucked!!

    why are you sugar-free? care to tell us? I’m willing to listen–from one sugar sister to another.

  419. Bicentennial Baby says:

    @Natali,

    There are lots of mobile options available to you…you can sign to do online survey work (I do this…not a ton of money in it but it’s an extra $20-30 a week) and they will Paypal the money into an account. You can also buy/sell things on eBay and mail from Kinkos and post offices all over the country as you travel. eBay allows Paypal too so you won’t have to try to find a branch of your bank everywhere you go.

    You could try knitting scarves and selling them via an online website you can mail things from anywhere you know…and an internet website allows you to have a universal presence so you can work while you travel. Hopefully we can all give you some ideas to get you started

  420. Midwest SB says:

    NM – That’s my girl! We may have to visit the dungeon tonight :-).

  421. Naughty Molly says:

    Have I been drinking? YES!!!!

    I’ve downed a whole bottle of Merlot as a matter of fact and at this moment I’m feeling pretty toasty! I could be easily taken advantage of 😉

    Hope everyone is having a good evening!

  422. Anna Molly says:

    Hey guys and gals! Well, I’m sugar free…that is why my Monday SUCKED!! I’m sure none of you really care….LOL.

    Hmmmm, I had no idea that Paris had a SD….

    Good to see you Midwest!

  423. Midwest SB says:

    BTW – I will be in Atlanta mid-Sept for a week…where are my Atlanta sugars? RedMaru??? Buehller???

  424. Midwest SB says:

    Hi sugars! Thanks for the new blog topic…very intriguing!

    Natali – Good for you. Something good always comes along when you make those difficult choices.

  425. Midwest SB says:

    Do you think society gives fair treatment to those in sugar daddy relationships? I think that people who have a true understanding of sb/sd or “being a kept woman” are more tolerant of the lifestyle if they are not pursuing it. Those who feel it is sex for money are misinformed and I don’t really care to enlighten them as they may never truly understand.

    How would people you know really feel about your sugar-life if they knew about it? Would some of them be jealous? I have told my bff and another friend. My bff is fascinated and amused. I wouldn’t be surprised if she tried it herself at some point. My other friend is quite familiar with the lifestyle and has been “accused” of being a sb because her husband is 21 years older. Reality is they are very happy together even if it didn’t start out as love at first sight. He has given her the opportunity to excel at her career and the freedom to take good care of her sons. There are those I work with whose traditional upbringing would never permit them to accept this lifestyle even if they didn’t think it was morally wrong.

    How is your sugar daddy dating going? I’m quasi-searching at this point. I have had some good inquiries, but nothing that I am terribly excited about. I do realize that seeking the type of arrangement I want is not as challenging as I once thought.

  426. Natali says:

    Hey guys! I just wanted to throw out an update! I have left the relationship that was causing me so many issues. Time for me to be happy! I have since decided to live with a male friend who lives in an RV since he travels all the time for work! I am so excited to travel the US and see new places! One concern though. What should I do for income? I thought about making and selling candles, soaps, crafts, whatever. I just don’t have $ to start a project like that. Does anyone have any ideas about how to make an income living on the road?

    I appreciate everything you have said, everyone! You are all so very kind and welcoming to us newbs!

    Much Loves!

  427. Sweet-Huni-UK says:

    I’ve only discovered this s.d/s.b thing over the past year. A friend of mine was always going away on holidays and always dressed in the best clothes but she only had a standard paying job and I couldn’t help but wonder how she managed. One day she told me she has a friend…didn’t call him an SD but then she is 45…! She has known him for 15 years and has been seeing him all this time, they met IRL before internet dating….He is in a different country but there is mutual respect on each side…she’s had an amazing time and visited countries she’d never be able to otherwise…

    I used to be curious at her lifestyle and now I know I love listening to the stories and places she’s been and now I’m wanting it myself…

    Not easy on here though….not many seem to want to acknowledge an arrangement I’ve found…still it’s fun looking

    I was quite surprised when she told me about it

  428. -Do you think society gives fair treatment to those in sugar daddy relationships?

    Sugar dating can certainly be a hot-button issue. I have noticed that society tends to be very critical of sugar dating, most often because their ideas are all based on stereotypes- not on what the reality is for the people who are actually involved.

    -How would people you know really feel about your sugar-life if they knew about it? Would some of them be jealous?

    I know that if others knew about my sugar life, some would be jealous (mostly other women), some would be supportive, and some would be disgusted. I imagine that at one point or another it will get out (I know some very nosy people), and then I’ll get to deal with it all first hand. I don’t feel that I’m doing anything wrong, but I know that not everyone will agree with me on that.

    -How is your sugar daddy dating going?

    Sugar dating is going ok for me right now. I have one date set with a Pot on Friday, and might also see him Thursday afternoon. We’re coming close to making it official. So far I’m liking this one a lot, but I would like at least one additional, which I’ve been having trouble finding. More and more I’ve been receiving messages from people who didn’t read my profile, just looked at the pretty pictures and decided that was good enough. Oh well, good things come to those who wait….right?

  429. Michael AZ Alleycat says:

    I’ll be back soon – have to go to my Blogaholics Anon meeting.

  430. Michael AZ Alleycat says:

    Second!

  431. Dandelion Wine says:

    First!

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