7 years ago
“Currency”

7 years ago
“Currency”

Check out a just released documentary about online sugar daddy dating, click here to watch!


Leave a Reply

Comment with your SeekingArrangement account

Login using your SeekingArrangement account to post a comment.

Or post anonymously

Use a guest account to post your comment anonymously.

150 Responses to ““Currency””

  1. If yߋu can find the details you need free of charge οf charge.

  2. lovelylady says:

    hi,
    did anyone here go for the last seeking arrangement party which was May 4th?if so,was it fun?I’m thinking of going for the first time to the next coming event.

  3. SoaringSparrow says:

    Good evening sugardarlings!!

    Im sure as soon as I post this there will be crickets as I know everyones sleeping, but I want to let you all know I’ve decided what to do about my IRL and would love some feedback on this approach…

    Like I said, he and I have talked extensively, met in person and he pointed out the fact that he thought I was ‘spoiled’ I told him ‘maaayyybeee’ with a grin full of dimples (and meant it) ((side note: dimples are like crying, they’re really hard to fake but SUCH an advantage….;)) ANyway: Im going to be proud and say it loud that I am a sugarbaby. If he asks what that means, (bad sign) but Ill explain what a NSA prearranged mutually beneficial companionship is; and if he DOES already know what it is (good sign) then Ill go from there. Ive learned quickly that honesty in these types of situations is KEY and you don’t have time to waste on games. If I wanted that I’d look for a boyfriend. SOOO sugarfam, wish me luck in this endeavor…or advise me against is if you think its a terrible idea. lol

    @Stormcat-ignore you??? lol why would you think that or were you being facetious? I too admire you and think you give amazing and thought provoking advice to all. If I didn’t appreciate you, I wouldnt’ve told you how I feel about your issue and if I could see what you look like I might admire/be crushing like everyone else! yaaaaaa I said it. lol jk.
    Had a glass or 2 o wine so Im being lighthearted and silly.

    Nowwww off to get room service…STARVING. Night lovies!!

  4. Michael AZ says:

    new blog – and I ain’t going first. I want to prove that I actually do have a life … and a broken foot (kicked a door by accident)

  5. babyblonde says:

    I NEED TO VENT!

    I am meeting two guys tonight for a coffee/drink date. They are both named Joe but real name both John. I am on two sites, I’m meeting one at 10 and one at 11. Joe #1 says to me he thinks I’m a fraud because he isn’t getting my emails. So I start resending it from my phone which sends it from my real mail with my real name accidently but to the wrong Joe, Joe #2 who I’m supposed to meet at 11.

    Joe #1 apparently was checking his other email named “John” MY EYES are about to bleed pixalated blood drops at this point.

    I also have sent the wrong email out to many guys today telling them to reachme at BBSD instead of BBSB….UGH! I need a secretary for this. LOL

    Thanks for listening. I figured I should vent before I blow this.

  6. Midwest SB says:

    SoaringSparrow – I once met a man that I had amazing chemistry with during a business conference. I wanted to see if he might be a sd, so I started telling him about “my gf (me) who had this bf who insisted on buying her gifts all the time and they would go on nice trips together…he called him her sugar daddy. Do people still do that in this day/age?” I didn’t use those exact words and was very discreet. It was an inquiry that led directly to the conversation and how he felt about it, but acting as if I didn’t believe people did such things. I didn’t use any of the lingo, etc. It’s coy, but it worked…he was not a sd.

  7. babyblonde says:

    Blogging here is hard on the eyes guys! Wow sorry if I miss anything.

    SD Guru GReat post, thank you. You sound like a really great guy!!! Pure at heart :-)

    I thought I was the one sounding like a cheerleader. Sorry.

    It’s not all bad being anywhere else other than New York, Vegas, Miami, LA is the guys are more open and less jaded, and eager to please.

    My two biggest SD’s had not been raked over by every call girl in the city and had no experience. One was on vacation, from out of the country I met at a bar. The other I met in a smaller town I was a model at the convention, He asked if I would hang out with him sometime. I told him straight out (since he wasn’t my type) that if he wanted to hang out with me, for dinner only, he’d have to pay me my rates. Of course I was not an arrogant bit*h we chatted and I enjoyed his company. He is truly respectful. He came back to see me everyday and then he agreed the last day I was there. So he went for it and it’s many years now. I’ve never slept with him or even kissed him. Now we are old pals and he still does things for me and it is understood that he is the SD I don’t see him for free. But since he lives in a small rural community he and the availability of women is limited and he’s not the type that knows how to get a date very well it works out good for me and I don’t have to compete with all of NYC for him.

  8. Stormcat says:

    Lily darling ~ a little guidence please!
    If a certain gentleman wanted to buy a small country home for winter living in the South of France (near the sea of course) what would be the nicest locale? I was thinking about something near the Spanish boarder but I really don’t know the area at all and would like to have some guidance before I actually start making visits.

  9. babyblonde says:

    Soaring Sparrow What ever happened to that other guy who thought the room was enough? I wanted to respond but my eyes are limited to 13 hrs a day online. LOL

    You don’t have to worry about guys like him, saying things like “I feel…” and keeping it to your feelings and not making it about him but how it makes you feel will help you from sounding like a bit*h. I don’t know what your arrangement was, but you are not boyfriend and girlfriend Right? You are not here for hotel rooms and he should know that. Sounds like a fake is right. Good call on that one whoever said that earlier.

    How do you make a regular Joe a SD? All you can do is put it out there and see how he responds. Maybe with a joke or two. Or letting him know you wish you had his money to solve your problems. Oh the things you would do…blah blah blah. I’m sure he’s heard it all before and it gets annoying but if he’s open to it he just might offer. Or you can let him know you are on this site and the experiences you have been having. IF that’s too much for you say you met a guy who has suggested paying your bills and you are hesitant because you don’t like him but if it were someone you liked it would be really nice. Which is actually very true. Just thinking of ways to get the conversation over to where you want it and then listening. Hope that helps, keep us posted!

  10. Stormcat says:

    HaHa ~ Maybe Alleycat aka Michael decided to take his new handle seriously and he’s sleeping it off in a dumpster somewhere.

  11. Midwest SB says:

    PS – Evening sugars!

  12. Midwest SB says:

    Sweettooth – so sorry you went through such a rough experience. Definitely go to Google Voice and apply for a number. Referrals help speed up the process, but I don’t know anyone who has one. .. or get a disposable phone. There are also apps you you can buy for bbs and iPhones that have a blocking feature.

    This is why I say screen relentlessly. It doesn’t guarantee anything, but it can certainly reduce the risk. I KNOW I have been lucky in not having to go on many dates before finding a SD, but I do have to credit much of that luck to following the advice of others and always trusting my instincts. Know that you will meet a great guy and each experience brings you closer to him.

    SD Guru – Those answers provided me with more insight and more wisdom. It’s always interesting to find something to show your sd appreciation when he can get most things for himself. It is definitely the thoughtful gestures that appear to mean the most. Knowing his favorite drink, author, band, etc. It’s also fun to be original.

    It shocks me when women lose what could potentially change their lives by resorting to blackmail or by not being able to keep discretion close at hand. I’ve learned that many of our blog sds have endured the good, bad and the ugly because they are our “knights” and sometimes get caught up in bad situations while trying to do something wonderful. You guys are soooooooo special!

  13. Stormcat says:

    SD-Guru ~ RE: your comment a while back about an even earlier post of mine giving some tongue in cheek advice to Kendle;
    Can’t say that I would use the word succumb to that pitch rather it is more like a matter of allowing myself to be entertained by whole sweetness of watching it go down. I really do enjoy the process of being the object of beautiful woman’s feminine persuation.

    Sweettooth, Soaring Sparrow, Red Maru ~ Thanks for the encouragement

    Yes a glass of wine and an afternoon nap does wonders for the spirit.

  14. Rachel says:

    Hi AM, hi Taz…. haven’t seen your name in a LONG time! Hi sugarfam! LONG day at work…. where is that FAB bottle of wine? I think I’ll have me a lil glass.

    Babyblonde… I like how you are bold and say what’s on your mind. When I start to lose my backbone… I’m going to come to you to prop me back up! That and you are encouraging even if you don’t think you are :)

    Michael…. someone put an APB out on him… did he take off to vegas again or is he slaving away at work?

  15. Rachel says:

    Stormcat… glad you’re feeling better :) I like what you said about telling a pot SD that you chose to go with another person. I have always let pot’s know that I have met with other pot’s and have not yet found the right one (if I’m currently completely w/o a sd) and that I’m picky about who I choose, so that may be a better way for me to let someone know that I’m simply not feeling the chemistry instead of telling them that I’m not sensing chemistry.

  16. Stormcat says:

    Sweettooth ~ Hang in there. Sugar dating has a steep learning curve.

    Actually, I think you missed a red flag when he asked for a more suggestive pic. I don’t ever ask for pics. Even non-suggestive ones. I don’t think it is appropriate as a gentleman.

    Really try to get a disposable phone and a disposable e-mail addy for your SA contacts and if it gets to a meet then only in public for the first time or two. Etc.

    Oh and one other thing, never break it off with a pot by telling them that you don’t think you are a match. Some don’t have the ego strength for that. Even if it’s a lie, tell them that you have chosen to go with someone else. The thought of possibly having to deal with a protective SD goes a long way toward discouraging potentially abusive individuals.

  17. WCSD says:

    Sweettooth – unfortunately there are bad apples everywhere. Both in the online world, and the real world too. Dating (both sugar and not) requires a thick skin to stupid people, and also the ability and plan stop all contact with someone who ends up becoming the ‘stupid person’. There have been many posts regarding use of a ‘sugar’ email, and also pay-as-you go ‘sugar’ cell, etc. to make sure that these types of people have no leg to stand on….and will stop harassing you as soon as they realize you aren’t going to respond at all.

    Just realize not all on here (or in the real world) are like this fine specimen you found, and continue to be open to finding someone who will make you happy. It will happen for you, just keep your head up.

  18. sweettooth says:

    Sorry for the very long post…I needed to get this off my chest. It was on my mind all day. I am sorry for all of the misspellings…I was on a roll

  19. sweettooth says:

    SD Guru~ I find that much of what you post are words of wisdom,…much more reality then the fantasy some of us new naive SBs believe for a period of time ( such as myself). I just wish you would have posted some of your real life stories last night when I could have really used the insight…lol
    Some of my previous posts have been in regards to the pot SDs I have been talking to via email and I asked questions about moving it to the next step…email address, phone, meets, etc. Well fortunate enough I never did meet this SD but I did talk to him via personal email and a little bit on aim. He asked for my number and I was not ready to give it, he was more than fine with that and came off as such a gentleman. Understanding and respecting his personal safety and my safety as well. Or so I thought.
    Eventually, I took the next step and gave him my phone number. Things were going great and he asked for a “suggestive” pic, just so he could see what my body looked like. Not nude, just less clothing than the picture I sent him via email and also on my profile. I NEVER do that, but I thought “sure why not, this is a whole new ball game for me” time to live in the moment…he seems great enough, what could possibly happen right????
    Well, that picture apparently wasn’t enough. He then became excessive with texts, it was nonstop. I can’t even express how much it was. So I questioned him, as nice as possible, if a NSA arrangement is really what he was looking for after all. That I am not looking for excessive or anything more than what I expressed earlier in our chats. He of course said yes but the texts continue. I decided to tell him that I did not feel we were a good match for one another and wished him luck in finding what he was looking for. I was as nice as pie. There was never any money involved, never any meets involved, nothing that would suggest we actually were in a matter a fact arrangement. He became angry, and started to threaten me with the picture I sent him. I was so scared because he wouldn’t stop. He then told me I would be doing myself a favor of deleting my profile. And kept asking me if I wanted to know what was going to happen…I didn’t know what to say or do at this point. He even went as far as calling my phone with an “unavailable” number. Last night was such turmoil for me. I trusted this guy. Needless to say, I called my phone company at 10:30 at night figuring out how to block numbers and trying to make sure there was no possible way he could get my personal information from the number. I was so scared, I deleted my profile, I thought this was going to be such a positive experience for me. I was a fool. I am very much interested in this type of arrangement, but I really don’t see a way of knowing when someone is legit. All the great signs were there…or so I thought.
    Anyway, he had my trust and he betrayed it and the discretion I was expecting….
    It was a very bad experience for me, maybe minor in some your eyes, but still frightening to me..

  20. Lily says:

    Just skimmed but wanted to say that babyblonde I love you.

    and SD Guru, it was “Disgusted SD,” a couple of weeks ago.

    Apparently he said something about how I was on my knees for the entire European SD population.

    Just think about the frequent flyer miles I’d have if that were true! *heart pangs* Then I could visit you guys in North America all the time! whoop!

  21. RedMaru says:

    Hey sugarfam! Its hot in GA. They say 81 but it feels hotter to me.

    Hey Stormcat awwww hate that you were feeling blue big hug from me. Glad youre feeling better though

    SD Guru – Good posts all of them 😀

    soaringSparrow – great to hear bout your date! I think you’re going about the right way taking it slowly and hinting. Sometimes things can just ease into an arrangement realizing it if I’m makin any sense. Dinners, lunches then ease into getting him to accompany you to a mall and pass by a store and I say maybe “oooh that looks nice” gauging his reaction, if you’re not doing these things already. Keep us posted!

  22. sweettooth says:

    Stormcat~maybe you could suggest a sensual back rub from your SB like SD Guru posted earlier, It really is one of the best gestures…and man does it release the stress, especially when hot stones are placed on pressure points!

  23. sweettooth says:

    Hey all!

    Stormcat…Im happy to see your day turning around, sometimes a nap makes everything all better haha…xoxo

  24. Stormcat says:

    BTW everyone, I do feel better now.

  25. Stormcat says:

    Wow I wrote that just before I drank a bunch of wine and took a nap. But I forgot to hit submit so when I came back to the computer just now I hit the submit button and it posted but after all the intervening posts. And wouldn’t you know it LOL -Soaring Sparrow- was the one who answered me in the first place. Hugs littleone!

  26. Stormcat says:

    Soaring Sparrow ~ OK you have been ignoring me but you should realize that I really respect you. You took me to the mat with integrety and wisdom. So quit ignoring me! I like you!
    Now this latest post of yours is most interesting, it seems that most people assume that wealth has something to do with person’s character or qualities. I’m here to tell you that is is a complete disconnect. People are wealthy for a thousand different reasons and I believe that 99% of those reasons have nothing to do with the person’s character traits or qualities.

  27. Anna Molly says:

    Hey Taz!! Yes, we should talk very soon! I’m always on MSN so ping me!!!

    SD Guru ~ I always enjoy your posts and they are very helpfull…thank you for your contribution :)

  28. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:

    AM – I couldn’t be better lady!! I have been sooo busy, however never too busy for friends :) We should chat on msn sometime soon!!

  29. SD Guru says:

    @Midwest SB – You wrote:

    I would love to hear some of your favorite and worst experiences in the sugar world. We’ve heard a lot of the basics, now let’s hear some real life examples of best gesture your sb did for you, (unknowingly) worst mistake your sb has ever made and what you treasure most in your arrangements.

    —————————-

    What I treasure most – The realization that I have made a positive impact on my SB’s life intellectually, financially, and sexually. As a SD, always ask yourself, is my SB better off now than when she met me? It’s a very satisfying feeling when you know the answer is yes.

    Best gesture – Little things that she does to let me know she appreciates what what I do for her. Such as, ordering my favorite chocolate dessert, giving me a sensual back rub, getting a book of my favorite author or subject.

    Worst mistake – Betray my trust and lack of discretion. The ultimate betrayal is to attempt blackmail. The next worst thing is to play games with my heart. Unfortunately I’ve had to live through both more than once.

    I know my answers are short, but there are many stories behind my answers which I will share in time.

  30. SD Guru says:

    @babyblonde – We may have our disagreements but I think you do make some good points in your posts, such as being persistent and confident. I admire your spirit, passion, and positive attitude. You’ve got moxie, and that’s your secret to success!

    The environment you described in NYC is very unique and there aren’t many places like it. Also, it may not be duplicated in the online world. But regardless of what environment a SB is in, she should be resourceful and figure out how to use it to find what she’s looking for. You make your own reality and you seem to know how to do that very well, which puts you on the path to success.

    ————————–

    To all,

    I’m not here to rain on your parade and pick arguments, or wave pom poms and play cheerleader. What I try to do is to present an objective and balanced view, and different ways of looking at things, so that people can think about things they may not have thought of before. The sugar bowl is not filled with riches just for the taking, and it’s not an easy journey. But the reward is obviously worth it and that’s why we’re all here.

    Here’s my standard disclaimer: I understand my opinion and advice may not be relevant to everyone’s situation. And it’s ok if people disagree and don’t like what I have to say.

    Isn’t this blog great? :)

  31. Thundercat 😉 (put a cute spin on ur name hope u don’t mind!) I really hope everything works out with your separation! Its funny how life lessons play out before our eyes. It lets ME know something really powerful is going on greater than we know. This rough patch you’re going through indeed will pass and (i wouldn’t call it ironic) but its GREAT that you have the support from and the passion for your SB. People always need moral support and it comes in many forms, so when hardship arises we often have glimmers of hope that most choose to overlook. Keep your eye on your prize and the race to the finish line will be a lot less hard!

  32. Stormcat says:

    Hey Sugar-cats and kittens. . . Ptrrrrrouwow!!!
    Really bummed out today . . .
    (now someone here is supposed to go “Oh Storm, what’s wrong?”)
    (Then I’m going to feel much better and tell everyone how because of all this drama with my X, I have to get a bunch of bullshit things done related to fullfilling the terms of the seperation agreement and it is taking so much time that I had to cancel (GD) my date with Kitten (aka Stormcat’s SB)
    Oh well, she was so understanding when I called to tell her what was going on, that by telling her, and hearing her very supportive reaction, I realized that I really have found someone who fits me.
    I know I know . . . she might be manipulating me, But I don’t care, I haven’t this kind of passion before. I don’t understasnd it but if she wanted me to assign all my wealth over to her, I might even do it and then start all over again. I feel like I would even give my life for her.
    Strange, that passion like this would come so late in my life. Now I finally understand the words of the motivational speaker in college who said “quit worrying about finding your one and only, she’ll probably never even set foot on campus!”
    Okay, I’m pretty blue-zy right now, please forgive me! It’ll pass. -and- then everything will be fine again. Thank you for indulging my distress!
    Stormcat

  33. Anna Molly says:

    Wow!! Lots to catch up on!!

    Hey Taz!! So good to see you here 😀
    Yes I have a new SD and he is the best!!!

    How are you darlin’?

  34. Morning All!

    Chatted extensively with a pot IRL SD last night, for a few hours…He has a place here and a few other properties but will be spending the majority of memorial day weekend ‘here’ Now I realize just because someone has money and toys and SEEMS to have it all it might not always be the case. On the other hand, if he does in fact have these things he might not be generous and so inclined to share! How do you find out if he is? I hinted around at a few things and he was positively responsive. We’ve already met casually and we plan to hang out again but Im REALLLLLYY wondering about how to bring up an arrangement. Do I gamble with a ‘go with the flow’ approach or risk our friendship and say “would you be interested in a NSA arrangement??!” lol! I can see his face now! Im sure it cant be that black & white so someone ANYONE pray-tell!! How would you go about making a regular joe who happens to be wealthy your sugardaddy?????

  35. Rachel says:

    Good afternoon all. So I lurked last night caught up and am up to speed. I did see several new sb’s posting recently… YAY!

    Love it when people come out of lurk mode and show their faces!

    So what exciting plans does everyone have for the Memorial day weekend? Any sugar this weekend?

  36. Michael AZ says:

    Morning all …

  37. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:

    Just stopping in to say hi to the few familiar faces that are still around :)

    AM – did I see you found a new SD??

  38. kendal says:

    no that was not what i intended it to take anyone to…. hummm dont know why it did that?

  39. EnigmaticSB says:

    Babyblonde – thanks for sharing. This has somewhat been my experience IRL relationships but you articulate it quite well. My challenge was understanding of these online SD’s are the same.

    I shall find out – at the very least this will be my experiment, at best I will find my Ideal online SD 😀

  40. babyblonde says:

    SDGuru:
    Just believe in me. You don’t need to rain our parade, or argue the glass is half empty. You gotta remember the Sugar Bowl is still half full and I see a lot of room for jumping in and swimming! 😉

    I want to say some things to clear the air here and any doubts anyone might have so they don’t get their head in a tailspin.

    Their are more than enough millionaire men on my block in nyc alone to give every woman $100,000 on this entire site… I believe their is more than enough to go around I’m not just saying that to sound cheery.

    I know a lot of millionaires personally and on this site who are still looking and available so that tells me that it’s all a matter of finding one (or two or how ever many you want ) and just being open to it and being patient maybe putting in some time in if you want someone particularly special. If their was a shortage they would all have found somebody by now. I’ve met some really great available guys here. They still need someone.

    I see how men who are otherwise stable and responsible can be very happy to spend freely. They are dying for another excuse to unwind. What they are spending on drinks and dinner would support most SB’s here. Trust me I know of what I speak. Those guys you think are penny pinchers still know how to have a good time! 😉 Think about it for a second…Even with their cutbacks, it’s still more money than I’ve ever made. I’d be happy with half their fun money. Maybe even a quarter of it I wouldn’t have to work. So we might have to coax it out of them a little more, maybe. I’ve seen hard times and good times. You just gotta roll with it. It’s a matter of staying positive and confident. Being negative will get you nowhere. If it’s slow, don’t worry stay focused and in the present moment. Know that it will come and nothing lasts forever, if it goes their will be another one right around the corner.

    Making sweeping generalizations doesn’t contribute to the conversation. Those hard to satisfy SD’s are having a very difficult time finding a good SB to put up with them right now because of their attitude and women are finding better quality more sophisticated men, so many more men are open to spending money on women than ever this way. As some doors close other ones open.

    Go to any old school bar in the city and you will see women who look like they passed menopause with Sugar Daddies paying for their jewelry, plastic surgery,expensive purses and clothes. Thos women are making real money. Confidence my friend!! :-) Gotta have it. All it takes is one. You are unique if you are on here. It’s still risque’, exotic and mysterious.

    That’s my reality I’ve seen so many women who have me wondering what does she have that I don’t have and they are not considered pretty or charming or fabulous by any means. But they found some one who really adored them and they had the confidence to allow and expect that person to give them the world.

    Anyways, I’m done with this topic. I don’t want to argue I want to stay positive and keep things in a positive light for everyone on the blog. When you are having a hard day this should be a place of not of fake cheerleading saying Rah-Rah-Rah but being able to grasp other peoples experiences in a manner that you in the present moment and on a positive note. Sorry this is so long. I’m passionate about this stuff as you can probably tell.

  41. SD Guru says:

    @babyblonde – If you aspire to a certain level of success as a SB then of course you should associate yourself with successful SD’s who are able and willing to provide what you seek. However, men making 1m or more a year don’t exactly grow on trees and waiting to be found. Therefore the field of pot SD’s at that upper echelon is very small. While they’re typically generous with charity, they’re also smart with their money and don’t usually throw it out on a whim.

    As you said, times are different now. Even millionaires are filing for bankrupcy and having their mansions foreclosed on. The go go era of easy money and indiscriminant spending by high rollers is not likely to return anytime soon (except maybe in Vegas and Wall St). The bottom line is, the higher the dollar amount and the longer your requirement list is for a SD, the harder it is to find him. You made it sound simple, and maybe it is for you, but I’d bet not many others will be as lucky.

    @Stormcat – Your advice to Kendal sounds like it came from a SD who’s succumbed to that pitch before! :)

    @Lily – Who called you a whore on her knees in this blog? I’d like to go back and read the details! 😉

    @Midwest SB – Crushworthy? You don’t even know what I look like! :) I appreciate your comments and you asked several good questions. I have many stories to share and I’ll share them in due course, I promise. But for now I’ll be.. um.. occupied for the evening. 😉

  42. Lisa says:

    I agree with the fact that the cheapest ones want the most. I see profiles of guys into fetishes and domination and stuff and they offer very little where the ones that offer the most seem to want more. My last sd was not interested in just stopping by my place. He wanted to take me to a nice lunch, have conversation, do an activity such as shopping or finding me an apartment, and intimacy was at the end of our meetings rather than the sole purpose of them.

  43. Michael AZ says:

    To add to that, with the #1 I have, there really is no #2.

  44. Midwest SB says:

    1+1+omfg!!! it’s soooo worth it!

  45. Michael AZ says:

    Ahhh Midwest …. there is only one #1, and she is it. By a country mile.

  46. babyblonde says:

    Aw, thanks NYCSB !! :-)

    I’m all for speaking my truth and keeping it real.

  47. Rachel says:

    Good evening everyone! It seems I have missed a lot in a couple days… going into lurk mode so I can catch up….

    :)

  48. NYC SB says:

    babyblonde – “the raunchiest and wants a guarantee of satisfaction is usually the cheapest one. The guys who are spending freely, just want you to hang out, have a good time and relax. They have it all, they are generous and sharing for them is no big deal. ”

    thats the most honest thing i have read in a while… im usually the one dropping the ugly truth comments

  49. Midwest SB says:

    Yeah Michael! That sounds like a wonderful time! Was this #1 or #2?

    What didyou end up doing in Las Vegas? Any suggestions?

  50. Michael AZ says:

    Hey all – I’m baaaaaack!

    Just spent a great 2 days with SB on her ranch – horses, dogs, picnics, quality time etc. All v v excellent.

    LadyIntim – are you around? How was east coast?

  51. babyblonde says:

    WCSD Thanks ever so much. I couldn’t get the link to open earlier but it worked this time.

  52. babyblonde says:

    Sparrow: beautiful pics!!! :-)

  53. i think I know now that IRL may be the way to go for me…

    @Lily: Cant wait for your post on IRL!

  54. RedMaru says:

    Evening sugars how is everybody if anyones here.
    Hey Lucky Welcome and thanks for the tip. I really do need to back up my stuff. I been take my virus protection for granted because its 2010 it didnt even pick it up.

  55. helloooo sugar land!! hows everyones evening going??? I feel much better than last night!

  56. Midwest SB: i was wondering the same thing….

  57. Midwest SB says:

    Kendal – Is the link you put to your name what you intended it to be? :-)

  58. babyblonde says:

    Midwest: Thanks!! I may change it cause I wasn’t sure anyone could make it out. He is actually a pit but he’s all black so it’s very hard to tell. Thanks again. Love some of your posts too btw. :-)

    Love this blog, it’s keeping me sane while being online here. Thanks all!!

  59. kendal says:

    Maybe one of you should take his place :)

  60. Midwest SB says:

    Evening sugars!

    Nice exchange going on here!

    SDGuru – you are well on your way to being absolutely crushworthy! Thanks for sharing your viewpoints and showing us why a true SD is worth the effort! I would love to hear some of your favorite and worst experiences in the sugar world. We’ve heard a lot of the basics, now let’s hear some real life examples of best gesture your sb did for you, (unknowingly) worst mistake your sb has ever made and what you treasure most in your arrangements.

    Babyblonde – loved your last few posts…and your lab!

    Soaringsparrow – NEXT – travel expenses are above and beyond the allowance. Write it off as practice and don’t be afraid to screen relentlessly in order to determine if you are both on the same page or if you are wasting each others’ time.

    Sooooo excited! SD is planning a FL weekend! And I ordered my first Mac!!

  61. babyblonde says:

    JSB Things move fast on here now. Thanks for the compliment!!

  62. babyblonde says:

    NYSB: What the I’m retarded one….? LOL

    JSB: My expenses? Like nails and hair? Sorry I’m the retarded one remember?

  63. Lucky says:

    @Stormcat: thanks for the welcome and the tip!

    @RedMaru: finished novel? Back that thing up! At least weekly, and in at least three different places (hard drives, online …). Had to learn that one the hard way.

    @kendal: I think the way you put it here is just fine!

  64. JSB says:

    Babyblonde – Good call on the expenses re: secretary, gardener and sb! Makes sense to me!

  65. JSB says:

    Babyblonde – just want some clarity..in your post you wrote that “you know what your time is worth” so when you are negotiating your allowance with potentials are you putting a dollar amount to your worth or your expenses?

  66. Stormcat says:

    Kendal ~ 1) relate to him how your group exercise classes are such a waste of time because you can only advance as fast as the slowest classmate. 2) put on a subtle pout and be on the verge of emotional devestation and 3) say “If you really cared about me you’ld pay for me to have a personal trainer so I wouldn’t be slowed down by all these lagers.”
    😉

  67. Stormcat says:

    NYCSB ~ nastynasty :) hehehehe

  68. kendal says:

    how do you ask for sugar daddys to pay for a trainerso you can become the hottest sugar baby they will ever have ???

  69. WCSD says:

    Babyblonde – click on Lily’s name in the blog, this will take you to her personal blog, and then email her from there (see her ‘complete profile’ and email from there).

  70. NYC SB says:

    Baby blonde hits a home run with that comment!

  71. babyblonde says:

    Okay I’m retarded Lily where’s the email link?

  72. babyblonde says:

    Guru: There is no secret, I know 100’s of women doing much better than me. You wouldn’t expect to have a date with Miss America for $200 or even $1000 maybe. I have done my share of print work, movie credits, and stage appearances. I’m no Miss America, but I know what my time is worth.

    This site is sort of a blessing and a curse. So many women new willing to give it away a guys gonna shop around for the best bargain. Also, so many opportunities to meet the best people and connect in your area. The guys who are making 1 million a year and up, looking for NSA arrangements pay their secretaries and gardeners almost $100k a year. Their Sugar Babe should be the highest expense on the payroll not lesser than if he really cares about her and she is there for him. That’s what I was taught is the standard.

    The recession and sites like this have changed the playing field to a much broader audience so times are different. But the good ones are still out there. I have gotten lucky just hanging out with men and made more than a few thousand several times just to go to a party for the night. No expectations But it comes from having a high salary in my real life. I’ve seen much more beautiful women younger than me with us getting paid half of what I would get for an hour only because they didn’t ask. Because they have been led to believe that it doesn’t exist.

    My experience is, I’m being very truthful here, and maybe some of you women have seen this as well…the guy who is the raunchiest and wants a guarantee of satisfaction is usually the cheapest one. The guys who are spending freely, just want you to hang out, have a good time and relax. They have it all, they are generous and sharing for them is no big deal. They are philanthropic and so am I, when it comes to the needy, elderly animals etc. What comes around goes around. I constantly create good Karma.That’s why I think you see so many hotties into animal rights these days. They have abundance mentality and give from the heart without expecting anything in return but to make others happy. Those are the type of guys I am looking for as well.

  73. Lily says:

    There’s only one Lils.

    That’d be me. Whether I’m the Great Pretender, party planner extraordinaire, a loud-mouth boaster, hostess with the mostest, a whore on her knees, or a Cupid, it’s up for you to decide. They’re just names I’ve been called on this blog and I only smile and make light of it because this is all fun & games, right?

    Glad you like my blog! I need to update it…..so old!

    babyblonde, how old are you? email me via my blog anytime, I have a couple of questions I’d ask you off-blog….

    next subject will be on hunting sugar IRL…..

  74. EnigmaticSB says:

    Hello SBs and SDs:

    Sparrow – I would use that response as an indication of what’s to come. Real SDs don’t think that way. I would only waste 1 last ‘we are not on the same page’ communication with him and move on.

    He sounds like a wannabe. What a waste… unfortunate we will all encounter a time waster like this to get to the real deal… Good Luck!

  75. SD Guru says:

    @JA Princess – No, you’re not being judgemental. Some guys are clueless, some are pic collectors, and some are flakes. Understand what you’re dealing and move on.

    @sb-emy – Unfortunately La Perla does not have retail stores in the land of Oz. But I’m sure it delivers “down under” and anywhere else too! LOL…

    @babyblonde – No, I’m not cynical nor suspicious. I just want to understand your point of reference and where you’re coming from. Based on what you described, you have done better than 99% of the SB’s out there. Congrats!! Now if you can just figure out what your secret to success is and share it with others that will be great!!

    Now on to the video….

    “Sugar is relative… it’s whatever you find to be of value”

    I think that pretty much sums it up. More and more women are realizing why should they waste time on dead end relationships and get nothing out of it, when they can pursue a sugar relationship and get something of value out of it. This is why there is a steady stream of new SB profiles on sites like sa.com. As sugar dating becomes a larger part of popular culture, stereotypes and preconceived notions will begin to fade. Who knows, maybe somewhere down the road sugar dating will become mainstream instead of being non-traditional.

  76. babyblonde says:

    Lily ~ I agree. A lot of guys online are either flaky emails don’t really build the right connection. Too many misunderstandings can ensue. I would love to go with someone to places and find SD’s I can’t go by myself.

    Also, you are the same Lily as Cupid? I”m confused 😛 Or you have a twin sister? :-) lol Love your blog by the way.

  77. babyblonde says:

    Stormcat: You’re too funny! I love your positive upbeat posts by the way. No I’m not miss innocent. Sometimes not sleeping with a guy can forge real bonds that are more difficult to break. I know the deal online, I’m okay with that, but it really is not ideal.

    Guru: I’m not sure I get your connection, are you being cynical? suspicious? or am I missing the point? Ideal SD’s I’ve have/had include $10k a month for a year, a free $3000 gift every 4 mths, cosigning on loans, flowers, candies, travel to other countries and staying at the Four Seasons or Mandarin Oriental Penthouse, friendship, respect, not prying into my life, Um…furniture, emergency surgery, jewelry, oh and of course shopping and the best restaurants, cards, notes, letters, emails, that’s all I can think of now. I’d say that’s pretty ideal. I’ve been offered cars, but I live in the city so I don’t need the responsibility. Oh and a ton of electronics!! Woohoo how could I forget that! I have a Bose system and 42″ flat screen, and a laptop. What more could a girl ask for? Right now I am only getting gifts and $1000 a day when he comes to town and we meet.

    So Guru please explain to me what you are thinking? I’m curious why you ask.

  78. RedMaru says:

    Morning sugarfam! Darn I keep missing everybody. I missed Stormcat and Panther 😛
    Computer at home was misbehavin…grrrr Nasty lil virus masking as a anti virus program got in and it took forever to get it out. I just thank God I didnt have to do a system restore or else I would be very P.O’ed losing my beta copy of StarCraft II that took 14 hours to download, my pretty wallpapers, and my finished novel is not something I want to think about .

    Anywhoo lotta good points specially from SD’s good to see more of you guys on here!!!

  79. Lily says:

    I think sugar-hunting is even harder than regular dating, although it should be simpler….

    I have to say, I love American men. Just wish to get a solid, engrossing relationship locked down so I can get off the market, SO badly….

    Beyond frustrated w/ time wasters. One wants me to believe he’s serious because he wired me $400. It’s something, but…. It buys him about 2 days before I want our first date IN my calendar & travel confirmed, or I’m nexting him.

  80. Hunting for sugar in reality is tough.

    Just go to places where they’ll be and drop hints subtly, look gorgeous, and very chaseable…

  81. sb-emy says:

    SD Guru: La Perla? do they deliver down under? (Pardon the pun, i’m awful – haha)

  82. Stormcat says:

    Hi Princess good to see you.
    Well I’m fading fast. Going in to lurk mode now.
    Good Night All

  83. SD Guru says:

    So many new posts to get into but so little time, and I haven’t even commented on the video yet. I guess I’ll get to that later.

    @Sparrow – I’m not old enough to be a father figure… yet :) I do enjoy helping others finding their way in the sugar world. Since each person’s situation is different, I believe everyone already has the answers to their questions within themselves.

    “Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.”

    That’s why I always try to explain my thought process behind my advice and opinions, so that others can get a better understanding of themselves to find the answers within them. Encouragement, yes, reprimand, no. Not even the best can make the winning shot every time. But as we learn from ours and other’s experiences, it will make us more confident to make the winning shot next time.

    Ok, that’s enough deep thoughts for tonight!

    Sparrow wrote: SD’s: what do you say to a pot that comes into town and basically equates his travel expenses into my allowance?? saying ‘ i paid XXX a night for a room, did this, and did that so I shouldn’t have to give as much allowance?

    I’d say it’s his problem, not yours. Whether what he can offer meets your requirements or not is for you to decide. Next!

    Sparrow wrote: SB’s: How do you address your needs without sounding or feeling like a total bitch???

    Be articulate, be compassionate, and be clear and firm about your expectations. Remember, these are grown men you’re dealing with, not some boys just out of college. You’d expect that they’re emotionally mature enough to be a SD. And if they’re not, then you’ll need to decide whether it’s worth the effort to deal with them or not.

    @NYC SB – Understood. What a difference a year makes!! I’m glad to see that you’re a year older and much wiser. Just when you thought you’ve seen everything then something happens to you or others that makes you re-evaluate what you think you already know. The journey in sugarland, as in life, is a continuous learning process.

    @babyblonde – If you’ve had many ideal SD’s in your day and some of them are younger than you and you have no idea why they pursued you (despite your small boobs and no make up), then I wonder what’s your definition of a SD?

    @sb-emy – I didn’t realize we could use the word “anal” in this blog! LOL… I don’t know how old you are, but a man in his 30’s shouldn’t be a generation gap to you unless he is so out of touch with the real world. By the way, ask him to take you to La Perla to shop for crotchless panties and you can thank me later! 😉

  84. Stormcat says:

    Soaring Sparrow ~ I hope I didn’t sound too harsh with my comments. I also wanted to say something after your first post but thought it would sound brash. Suffice it that I don’t have a very high opinion of someone who justifies not fullfilling their end of the deal. I mean that I thought it sounded like he was being cheap. But when he made you feel bad about yourself that just got my goade.

  85. JA-PRINCESS says:

    hey guys..been mia for a few days, leaving nyc for MIAMI on wednesday so been kinda busy..anyhoo..i made contact with two pots recently, with no luck.
    i thought one was going good until today he asked for pics of me in my bikini in Miami, when i declined, his response was “maybe one of your friends will send theirs”//what a jerk..on to the next..we didnt even discuss allowance or anything, just one flimsy date and 100 dollar for my cab ride home..
    The other one sent a really nice message, probably copied and pasted, but nice none the less. texted him, but his responses seemed short, plus he asked for more pics than the 3 i already have up. then i asked what type of arrangement he’s seeking and the weirdo replies “CARE”..is that some type of sd lingo that im clueless about..code word for prostitute? idk…Now he texts me randomly thru out the day. Annoying the crap outta me with his one word sentences..this is the horrible part of this..all the screening and time and energy wasted on some of these men who really have no idea what they want..
    Am i being too judgemental here?

  86. Stormcat says:

    Soaring Sparrow ~ Don’t you dare even thin k about giving up. You’re just suffering from the Sugarcat Blues. It’s pretty common on SA, but it’ll pass. You can’t let other peoples words or actions change the way you would normally feel. You are obviously being upfront with these guys and they are the ones not able to handle the truth. Just remember you don’t owe anyone in sugarland any explanation to justify your feelings, expectations, or choices. That is the real beauty of sugar dating. You ask for what you want as a matter of fact. If they agree you have an arrangement if they don’t then you move on. Simple as that. You don’t have to justify yourself to them you just thank them for their time and break it off. OK. :)

  87. Stormcat says:

    welcome Lucky 😉 Glad to hear you’re having success.
    Actually one of the SBs who posts here “Lilly” has a whole section on this subject on her blog page. Just find one of her posts and click on her name.

  88. Feeling pretty lousy about myself guys… Im starting to think I might be self sabotaging…Or not cut out for this… I feel terrible!
    Just told me pot from this weekend that my expectations weren’t exactly met..he said he didn’t think SD dating was for him and couldn’t be emotionally unattached. I felt like such a sleazy schmuck telling him how I felt…
    SB’s: How do you address your needs without sounding or feeling like a total bitch??? I’ve talked to pots that are interested in NSA which I am, but they’re just so harsh and abrasive, I talk to nice guys and you feel like they’ll jump off a bridge if you hurt their feelings and tell them its not going to work out…
    Im willing to negotiate, but I guess it has to be with the right guy. All the guys I would LOVE to be in an arrangement with are not true SD’s

    What to do!!??

  89. Stormcat says:

    BabyBlonde ~ you wrote “no clue why they pursue me, I am even older than a couple of them, (small boobs, in case you are wondering) never sleep with them. . . ”
    So are you trying to convince us that you’re a virgin? hehehe :)

  90. Lucky says:

    Hi everyone–I’m new here, and I’ve finally cracked and decided to comment. I’m nervous! I just finished my profile on SA about a week ago, and I’ve been a bit overwhelmed since then by the messages. I was just wondering, in everyone else’s experience (particularly SBs) … how many messages do you typically get per week? Does the number ever drop off? Does anyone have any suggestions for (a) sorting through and answering/ignoring messages or (b) maaaybe fine-tuning your profile so you don’t get quite so many? I feel like a putz asking this, but I just don’t have the time or energy … maybe it’s because I feel obliged to write back to each person?

  91. SD’s: what do you say to a pot that comes into town and basically equates his travel expenses into my allowance?? saying ‘ i paid XXX a night for a room, did this, and did that so I shouldn’t have to give as much allowance?

  92. babyblonde says:

    I don’t know, I’ve had/have many ideal S/D’s in my day and all I can say is I had no clue why they pursue me, I am even older than a couple of them, (small boobs, in case you are wondering) never sleep with them. I hardly wear makeup. I’m not the best looking girl I’m a tomboy I have nothing to offer them and I tell them up front and repeat that over and over and over. I even get mad if they imply hooking up. I’ve had one guy for 6 yrs now. I have met the best ones IRL. I was/am a model so that put me in the right position to say hey, I’m worth a lot of money, if you want dinner with me then you need to pay me for my time. Some laughed in my face, some saw the logic in it and are still paying.

    I think their are a certain segment of guys who want a woman who isn’t a pushover and doesn’t fall all over them, I like those guys I respect them. It’s mutual. My old roommate was not pretty, kind of manly to be honest and guys would fall all over her more than me. No one could figure out why. What it takes is confidence. Guys will bend over backwards for a woman who has it Doesn’t matter if she gives him the time of day.

  93. sb-emy says:

    hey guys,

    liked the video, some intelligent pointers – pity it stopped at 5 minutes, automatically.

    SD update: We went out last weekend and it was raining heavily, had dinner and spoke a bit about his stay at home wife/open marriage. She’s ok with the latter, but with every 5th or so visit interstate, she demands an all expenses trip overseas with her galfriends. Soo, i’m not sure what’s happening there.

    the next time we’ll get together is to celebrate my end of exams! Should be fun. He’s a little unlike the other sd’s i’ve seen, because he does get off on helping me get off, loves the anal play (still new to this..) and has recently started hitting the cardio more often..

    he bought me some crotchless panties as well to try on, but i left them on the coffee table because they weren’t my size and weren’t exactly Victoria’s Secret quality. I left a hint that i had once spent 400 euros on lingerie (of my savings) in the sth of france, and boy were they a great purchase… i don’t think he gets it..

    anyhow, i feel like while there is a lot of things to be learnt, physically with this new sd – there’s the same issue with the generational gap. he’s in his 30s, but the fact that we have different views on things such as open marriage, and stepford wives leeching off his allowance as something completely normal (and doing nothing else with her time, she doesn’t cook because he takes her out every night) makes me wonder whether their lifestyle is really all that bad.

    He tells me making the marriage open actually saved their marriage, but if it were me in a similar situation – I would not know whether i would stand for it. or whether it really mattered if it came to this. When we spoke about it, I really didn’t want to come across as probing too much into his personal life – but it’s fascinating how marriages can work this way.

    (Sorry to bore everyone with my thoughts)

  94. NYC SB says:

    Also any sbs interested in getting together for a low key meet and greet please email me asap at thegoaldigger at gmail

  95. NYC SB says:

    Sd guru – how does my list of requirements apply to mr big? Simply it does not. My relationship with him was in may 2009 and my expectations are may 2010. To be honest last year I had just entered the sugar world and had no idea what I was doing. I was figuring it out as I was going along. I was not acting but rather reacting. Different story now. I hope my blog inspires other newbies to not make the same mistakes I did.

  96. Good Evening Sugars! I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting on my ‘extended’ pot date this weekend.

    @SD Guru- Im wondering if you joined this lifestyle for the simple fact that you seem like you’d be (or are) a great father figure and role model. Reading your responses to my and all the other young SBs trying to find there way through sugardaddydom, I cant help feel reprimanded yet encouraged to make sure we know what is we’re looking for, and how to get it.
    Its as though I missed the winning shot at the big game and you’re now making me run and work harder at the next days practice 😉 lol

    To answer your question about my ‘ease of transaction’ comment: although we absolutely discussed and were very clear about both of our expectations, I have since learned that if a pot is at all hesitant about an allowance (which is the arrangement I prefer) and mentions he doesn’t ‘need to pay for women’ then I should listen to that hesitation. Just as a man is hesitant about being faithful in a regular relationship or tells you ‘ you don’t want to date me’ take his word for it and SCRAM. No longer will I have time to convince someone of my expectations nor should I have to ask multiple times to fulfill his part of the arrangement (which was my problem) ( I know I know, Im even embarrassed to say so)

    You’re definitely right in advising to not mix emotional attachment with an arrangement. That is something I have to be cautious about next time. Its generally not ME who is the emotional one. However, I feel I am fulfilling MY part of the arrangement being that (most) SD’s are also looking to be cared for emotionally and not just physically. I enter arrangements based somewhat on care and compassion anyway so I think one treads the already thin line of (prostitution) when you alleviate human needs based solely on material exchanges.

    Dark Panther and many others have put it perfectly, arrangements just as relationships are ALL different. There are guidelines and the ultimate goals are in the same ballpark but what is right for one person may seem weird or not right to someone else. Just as I’ve been approached (many times) to be someones DOM and to treat them rudely in public; Im not into ‘fetishes’ ((in THAT sense)) 😉 While another SB might LOVE that..

    I am learning a lot every day, not only about my new lifestyle but also about myself and how to get what I want and not be a pushover (not that I really WAS before, but you get my drift)

    So, I think Im going to actually do some hunting of my own tonight (have a little free time to myself)

    if ANYONE has any advice on how to approach an IRL I’d be all ears!!

  97. ESB says:

    The tone on the blog has been so wonderful lately.. so imformative also… I spend more time reading other’s input, I loose track of time and don’t post… and now I’m going to be a one post wonder and say hello and good night. Just wanted to check in and see what was up and let you all know I’m thinking about you. Wish I could stay and join the fun, but I’m working full time again, so I need my rest. IF I can actually sleep tonight!!!

    Have fun!! HUGS!!

  98. sweettooth says:

    I meant * in a totally wrong direction before..

  99. sweettooth says:

    Anna Molly~ That really is a big acheivement though!!! I get so lost when I am there and I have never gone alone. I have taken the subway and a totally wrong direction before and didn’t even realize till I was so far away from where I needed to be..Needless to say, my heart was racing haha

    Lisa~You kind of have the best of both worlds, I have to drive EVERYWHERE I want to go, unless I am willing to walk a few miles. Which I do from time to time, but a lot of roads are back roads and very curvy

  100. Lisa says:

    I love big cities, the noise, the excitement. Lived in suburbs, small town, grew up in rural area, lived in city. Prefer city, hate the country life. I don’t drive so I have to be in walking distance of at least some stores and restaraunts. The area I live in now is very quiet and peaceful even though it’s across the street from the mall, it’s nothing like the noisy ghetto I lived in for 20 years.

  101. Anna Molly says:

    Sweettooth ~ I know exactly what you’re talking aobut. I am from TN originally and when I went NYC for the first time alone I was totally lost. I was so scared and confused that I stood in front of Penn Station for twenty minutes trying to figure out what in the heck I was supposed to do or where to go…lol. The city can be very intimidating and scary when you are alone….at least for the first few times. I was so proud of myself when I was able to walk from 44th to 34th all by myself!!! Although it sounds silly, I mean, how hard can it be to walk 10 blocks…NYC is a big place and coming from a town that only has one traffic light…it is a big acheivement..LOL! Well, it was for me anyway 😀

  102. Stormcat says:

    DPanther ~ Glad to hear it! I’m smack in the middle of the Addirondaks and love the outdoors. It is such a good feeling to walk back into the woods until there is no more sound from civilization. Only nature. The rustle of leaves in the trees, bird song, water, frogs and crickets, sometimes nothing. After that, it’s hard to go back into the city and put up with all the bustle.

    LOL @ Sweettooth ~ That is so funny people from opposite experiences startled by the other’s ordinary.

  103. sweettooth says:

    Dark Panther~ I just had to let you know that the comment you posted about the deer in your backyard not bothering you anymore made me giggle out loud. It is so funny to hear and see people from different areas (including myself) having to adjust to what is “normal” to new surroundings like that. I am from PA, are you familiar with the Poconos or Blue Mountain Ski resort? I am in an area just like that, lots of trees and nature…I don’t live far from Phili or NY and when I go there the taxis and bike riders scare the crap out of me haha

  104. SD Guru says:

    @NYC SB – Thank you for taking the time to respond to my question in your blog. I like how you answered it and the thoughts that went into your answers. It’s a must read for every SB who strives to find the ideal SD.

    In the sugar candidate blog I had written the following:

    ——————–

    SB’s should be able to answer 3 simple questions about themselves when they start their search.

    (1) Why have you chosen to pursue a sugar relationship instead of a traditional relationship? (saying I saw it on Tyra doesn’t count!)

    (2) What would you like your SD to provide for you? (don’t say “show me the money!”)

    and most importantly,

    (3) What can you offer in return? (see my previous post about differentiating yourself from others).

    Once you have a clear understanding on how to answer those 3 questions and can articulate it to potential SD’s, then the ideal candidate should become apparent to you.

    ———————–

    Whether what you offer is worth what you’re asking is for the pot SD’s to decide. You have made a very compelling case in your answers to all 3 questions which will go a long way towards finding your ideal SD!!

    Now how does all that apply to Mr Big? :)

  105. Dark Panther says:

    Storm- I transferee here for my job. I left Los Angeles and moved here for more money. Co-workers are getting me into fishing and hunting. bought a house in with an acher of woods behind me and I’m a city guy at heart. But I’m slowly converting to he nature side now. Seeing deers in my backyard doesn’t bother me anymore. :)

  106. stephan says:

    You’ve got mail :)

  107. Stormcat says:

    Cool, yahoo me at stormcatgl and I’ll send you my phone #

  108. stephan says:

    Stormcat: I know we have some upcoming YouTube promotions that need a soundtrack… this sounds like a gift from heaven! Let’s connect directly (email/phone) this week maybe?

  109. Stormcat says:

    Stephan ~ good to see you back! How was SF? I’m trying to get some musicians together to record it. I know quite a few excellent professionals but it takes time to get everyone togather in the same place. It’ll probably end up just being a jam session into a MIDI interface (which works under the right conditions) then get another friend to edit it in his studio. But, If I could get it recorded in a real sound studio that would be awsome.

  110. Stormcat says:

    DPanther ~ I have always been wondering whether you are an outdoorsman. I mean MN. land of a thousand lakes. Do you live there for that, for your work, or just out of inertia?
    BTW thanks for your comments. I developed my views about arrangements (long ago in sugarland terms) at the time when you were posting regularly and I appreciate seeing you back here again.

  111. Dark Panther says:

    It’s been a long while since I regularly read and participated in the posts here. As StormCat touched on defining an arranged relationship here is tricky. To be perfectly honest there are few to no concrete definitions that apply across the board. Like many other SDs I have seen a wide range of proposals from SBs in regards to an arrangement. There is an enormous gap between perceptions of what a SD is and how he provides. I have seen some SBs seeking little to no financial assistance to some seeking a significant investment a month. Neither side of the spectrum bothers me because I realize every situation is different as is every SB.

    I think it’s a matter of finding what’s right for you. If I may be so bold, this type of lifestyle\arrangement isn’t for those seeking an immediate escape or financial quick fix. And I’m not saying ANY HERE is in that mindset. I just hate to see SBs get frustrated and disappointed when they haven’t made a successful connection in a certain amount of time. Perseverance is the key.

    Stormcat – I agree with your assessment of arrangements. There is such a wide range of arrangements for Sugar couples that it’s hard to pin down a definition that fits everyone. Like you I have seen my share of “interesting” arrangements and whatever works for you is ALL GOOD.

  112. Stormcat says:

    BabyBlonde ~ I believe that we are entering an area where everyone has strong opinions. I have always found this area of the discussion to be rather hazy. Hazy, because we are walking a small territory, surrounded by: traditional exclusive relationships; like dating and marriage, non exclusive traditional relationships; like affairs, flings, and multiparous dating, totally casual relationships; like one night stands, orgies, prostitution, swinging etc. and very nontraditional relationships such as polygamy, arranged marriages, marriages for convenience. If you move very far off this territory we call an arrangement it starts looking a whole lot like something else. I am trying to avoid three things in my arrangement! 1) I don’t want the money or items I provide to be considered as a payment in exchange for anything. It is a gift from me to help someone who I care about. 2) If there is to be sex it is to happen naturally in the course of the relationship because there is a genuine mutual desire for it to happen. and 3) That there is a real enjoyment is sharing a very private part of my life away from all the expectations and demands of a traditional network of family and friends.

    But who am I to put my definition of an arrangement on anyone else. I wish for everyone to make up their own mind about what this means to them. I only object when others try to define an arrangement in terms that suits their view and suggest that I don’t really belong here because my definition differs from theirs. As openminded and elightened individuals we give up some of the convenience that would result were this site homogeneous in the relevant definitions. But then we would also be giving up the pleasure of partiocipating in discussions about the great variety of ideas that results in this blog being interesting.

    Hugs

  113. Anna Molly says:

    Thanks NYC!!! 😀

  114. NYC SB says:

    SD Gury – interesting question which requires a proper response! I will make an entry out of it on my blog

    AM – congrats!

  115. RedMaru says:

    Hey everybody in sugarland!
    New blog wow what I miss? No question!

  116. babyblonde says:

    MichealAZ: Hilarious note to self! LOL thanks funniest thing I’ve read today!

    SD Guru So much to catch up on is right! Note on NYC SB…what SB has to offer is intimate and private between her and her man and should stay as such unless the SB feels comfortable enough to share tastefully, also I believe the question was only asking about what your perfect would be.

    I also tried the URL thing already to no avail.

    Stormcat: I agree with you. I’m glad to be in good company here I think it makes it all the more possible for all of us to do much better and keep the quality up.

    It’s the commercials like the one above that give this PC view of SD/SB relationships a diluted definition and that is fine for a name like Seeking Arrangement which as long as two parties are happy with it, it fits. BUT a Sugar Daddy (and I find this even more way off base on SD.com) is a Sugar Daddie not a boyfriend who gives you money for groceries. That would mean every guy I have dated my Sugar Daddy, I think not! and somewhere we have to draw the line are you looking for a Sugar Daddie or a boyfriend. Are you willing to be a Sugar Daddy or do you just want a more traditional relationship. Let’s call it what it is and let’s all be honest with our partners. I don’t want to have to pretend to have more feelings for a guy just to get him to be my SD and I sense sometimes that is where this is going to go if we don’t start defining things a little more clearly. At least that is my concern.

    I think it’s great that guys want relationships, but their is a sight for that Millionaire Dating Stormcat I hope you don’t think I’m directing this towards you, I’m just concerned is all that we may be hurting ourselves in the long run. I am wondering if anyone has any plans to start a Sugar Daddy only website? I have had way too much work I mean 8-13 hr days on the internet till my eyes bleed, trying to weed guys out, being timid about mentioning money to them. I think it’s the responsibility of the site to do that for us and not get too lax (spelling) in our definition and provide separations. I see we have the option of asking for money at the bottom, I love that, BUT everyone is so afraid to use it. It’s really sad you would not shop for a job or an apartment or even a puppy that way. Thanks for listening to me vent.

    Sorry if I missed anyone I will go over the blogs again hugs everyone!

  117. Dark Panther says:

    Greetings all! Today is such a nice day I want to bolt out of work early!

    How r u today Storm?

  118. Anna Molly says:

    That does sound like fun!! I will let you know 😀

  119. Stormcat says:

    Then you hit gold!? yay! :)
    Or like the comedian put it “there was a 3rd possability . . .”

    BTW: I’ll be upstate at the end of the week to do some kayaking. It looks to be pretty mild stuff so E-mail me if you have some interest in joining the group.

  120. Anna Molly says:

    Oh no, I’m not giving up at all 😉

  121. Stormcat says:

    AnnaMolly ~ what’s up? Did you hit gold :) or are you giving up :( ? Talk to us sweetheart!

  122. Stormcat says:

    Sweettooth ~ That seems like a reasonable plan. When I first started I never discussed the arrangement details until the second date. However the general range and expectations were known upfront befere the first date. The first date which is casual and public is all ablut finding out if there is any chemistry. My first “first date” was a disaster (I’ll relate that later) It has never seemed to make any sense to start negotiating the details of an arrangement unless there is at least a good chance of it taking place. I would never assume that until after a real face to face meeting with no pressure. If the two feel like having a second date then there is a reason to talk more seriously.
    I’ve always made my second dates more personal but still partially “in public”. On the first date I insist on paying for public transportation which I let her arrange but on the second date I plan an outing where I drive or we take a limo togather. For example a visit to a day spa or a trip to a vinyard, followed by dinner at an elegant resteraunt. This gives us some alone time with predictable intervals in public space. It also helps ease into the trusting phase of the relationship, maybe even with home addresses being exchanged. If I feel like I want to continue meeting this person, I always bring up the arrangement at the first quiet time during the second date by asking, “Would you feel comfortable discussing the details of a possible arrangement with me.” I do it in this way because it is both nonthreateniong and noncommittal. I would be perfectly comfortable if she said something like that to me. Do I don’t see a problem if you would like to use that type of inquiry in the SB inquiring of an potSD.
    Hope this is coherant enough to help.

  123. Anna Molly says:

    Just deleted my profile….thank you so much SA :)

  124. sweettooth says:

    And it seems as though each one of them feels necessary to discuss arrangements via email rather than meeting. This is a nice way of doing it and I think for the future I may keep it this way. It kind of leaves out the middle man or guess work for when you actually have to meet. I don’t expect much from the first meeting, but I like the idea of having an understanding in regards to what we are both looking for before we take it any further than email

  125. sweettooth says:

    Stormcat~ Thank you very much for that. It gave me reassurance. All three Pot sd have my email, so that is step one. It is an email account I made specifically for this site, so I don’t feel much harm in giving it to them. I will just wait it out a couple more emails to see when the phone number is necessary. I completely understand what you are saying about being reluctant to give…I just really have to use my gut instinct on this one I guess! haha…

  126. Stormcat says:

    Sweettooth ~ Well yes that kind of information is definately sensitive and won’t be given out easily if there is no trust. If both you and he are reluctant then maybe you will never get there. It becomes a question of who is trusting first. Perhaps the adage “baby steps” is an appropriate solution. Start with a prepaid phone number, move to exchanging more and more personal/traceable information once you both learn that it won’t be misused. Initially, however, someone has to go first.
    From personal experience I’ve had Pots send me their phone # and e-mail addy in the initial contact message. Others have never given it to me. I never felt all that uncomfortable using my real name and giving out my phone # and e-mail so I usually just do it right away so that my correspondant can check me out and feel comfortable. But there are very valid reasons why many people don’t do that. I guess the bottom line it that you have to feel it out slowly and ultimately trust your instinct.

  127. sweettooth says:

    Thanks to all who gave advice, I will definitely be using it…I think I am going to be investing in a prepaid phone just to calm my jitters about being stalked. I am very thankful BabyBlonde and JSB are willing to share their unfortunate stories to help me keep my safety in perspective. Which brings me to my next topic… I want to make sure that my pot SD is legit before I meet up with him….

    Stormcat~you suggested to get their name, phone number, and address and look them up online. Just asking out of pure curiosity but how does this seem fair because I have not given him my last name nor will I give my address. I know I need to remain safe, this is my #1 priority but how do I go about asking them for that personal information when I am not willing to give mine up?? Do you think maybe I could ask what they do and if they have a website? This may help reassure me that they really are who they say they are…Just thinking out loud, but any advice is always appreciated.

  128. SD Guru says:

    Still catching up on the previous blog…

    @Sparrow – Thanks for sharing your experience with GTB. Following are my observations based on what you wrote. You stated that you don’t want a SD who wants a gf, and the SD should look like someone you’d normally date. You also mentioned that you have talked to him extensively prior to his visit, every day almost, and are really in sync. So my question is, did he deceive you in any way in terms of what he really wants and what he looks like? If you were really in sync prior to the meeting then it shouldn’t come as a surprise that he can be clingy (you talked to him everyday, that could be a clue). And the fact that he is a giant and much older than you should be no surprise either.

    Having said that, it’s not uncommon to think everything is in sync prior to a first meeting and then find out the dynammic is totally different in person. Which brings to my next point, that is, the length of your first meeting.

    As I have mentioned before, I wouldn’t recommend anyone to plan for a 3 night visit for a first meeting. Why? Because despite how well you may think you know each other and what a great time you’re going to have, the reality is that you simply don’t know for sure until you meet in person. Yes, it’s possible you could hit it off and have the time of your life, but what if you don’t? Or what if the person that shows up is not as advertised? Therefore, it makes more sense to plan for a casual meeting such as drinks/dinner without pressure and expectations on either side. If things go well then you can mutually agree on how to take the next step.

    Lastly, you hinted that ease of transaction was an issue but didn’t mention any specifics. Could you elaborate on what the issue was and how did you discuss and agree on an arrangement for his visit. You mentioned that you didn’t spend the first night with him but it’s not clear if you did the next 2 nights. I assume there was an arrangement in place prior to his visit, or did you discuss that after he arrived? Since what he wants is more like a gf, then it’s not surprising that he would have an issue with the transaction. Guys like that are usually emotionally clingy and think they shouldn’t have to “pay” for a gf, therefore having a “transaction” or arrangement seems awkward to them. That’s why I mentioned in an earlier post that mixing emotional attachment with an arrangement could be a recipe for disaster and it’s not for the faint of heart.

  129. Stormcat says:

    Good Morning Sugarland! It’s a beautiful cloudy day (lots of drama in the sky, hehehe) here in NY.
    BabyBlonde ~ You make a good point about valuing the arrangement. Perhaps, though, you might consider that the current population of SBs here on the blog are very out-spoken and are in general seeking an arrangement that is the same as the type that you are seeking. In that instance it would be an insult for an SD to even offer a monthly allowance of $1K for meeting once or twice per week. But as I keep alluding to there are many types of arrangements and the non-blogging population of SBs and SDs, being oblivious to the attitudes expressed here, are making arrangements in a state of serene nieviety, that are not at all similar. For example: I met one SB pot who wanted to have a long distance arrangement that occurred one weekend every 2 or 3 months at some kind of fun resort. She didn’t want any allowance or cash of any sort, just the fun vacation with nice gifts and good company. We ultimately didn’t hook up because I wanted an SB to be much more of a presence in my life. I know another SB who wants an SD who is very strongly dominant in his personality. She isn’t really needing the allowance but knows that if she doesn’t demand a high level that the men who app[ly won’t be of the dominant character that she requires. I also am not a fit for her. A third SB is a very needy girl with a very low self esteem, she wants an SD to completely take care of her. Also not my match. Even so I have become good friends with all of them and try to help out with their quests whenever they ask. My current SB is very much suited to me. She gives me the space I need to feel independent and at the same time firmly sets reasonable limits that I can respect. She is also someone who needs to be taken care of (not just with money but also with physical comfort, encouragement, pleasant times, soulful connection, chemistry, and advice.) It works for both of us and by our shared experiences the closeness and trust just keeps getting stronger.
    As you can imagine to get to this point takes time. A lot of time! and careful thoughtful effort. You not only have to know what you want in an arrangement, you also have to know what your SX is also going to want. (Note the two catagories in the profile form.) That way when you do your search you can focus in on the pots are actually a good potential to fit.

  130. Hey can someone point a good website about How find the perfect dating partner?~”.

  131. jen says:

    HI expecting $1000 for what? and how often?

  132. SD Guru says:

    I can see why some people are on this blog all the time. With the way it’s structured you literally have to do that just to keep up with the new stuff, not to mention it’s not easy to search for the old stuff. I’ll catch up on some items from the previous blog before diving into this one.

    @Stormcat – I understand a sugar relationship can mean different things to different people, and as long as it works for the two people involved then that’s all that matters. You mentioned you can be emotionally fragile/needy and wondered how can an arrangement be without drama. My take is that most people who seek an arrangement do so because they don’t want drama. Unlike regular dating, the arrangement keeps the relationship in perspective (ie no need to wonder where this relationship is going), and sets the emotional boundary (avoid the dreaded words of “love” and “commitment”). For those who can’t live without drama, an arrangement can still work but it’s definitely not for tha faint of heart.

    @NYC SB – That was a great list of “I want’s” in your post about the ideal candidate. Perhaps you can also share with us a list of what you can provide in return.

    @Lily – If a gift/travel SD doesn’t work for you, then why don’t you put that in your profile to avoid wasting time with those who aren’t willing to provide an allowance? SD’s should realize that each SB’s situation is different and what works for one SB may not work for another. Therefore, it’s important for a SD to spoil/support his SB in a way that makes a difference to her. I’m not sure why you’d fly across the pond to meet with the no-allowance SD just to see if you can change his mind. Perhaps you want a free trip to visit your sugar gf’s, and who could say no to that, but you could have made your position clear to him prior to the trip and see if he still wants to meet. Or you could swap the business class ticket for coach and pocket a nice chunk of change.

    @babyblonde – copy and paste a profile link to the browser and edit it so that it looks like this:

    seekingarrangement dot com slash detail dot php?id=xxxxxx

    You’ll be able to see both SD and SB profiles without logging in.

    @Michael – So what happend during your Sin City adventure? You’re not going to get away with saying “What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas!” :)

  133. babyblonde says:

    I meant to say women are expecting about $1000 each visit…

  134. Michael AZ says:

    Hello all!

    I like to swap a few emails, with the intent of meeting sooner rather than later. I want to know fairly quickly if there is a connection or not. My view is that only after we know if there is a connection, then start discussing details etc. If no connection, then move on. If the person is out of town, then talk on the phone and use that to determine the connection or not.

    It is not a good idea to go somewhere, have that one glass of wine too many and then start discussing details. Note to self – refer recent Vegas trip. Oooops. But hey, it was fun.

  135. babyblonde says:

    Stormcat great advice! Wish I would have done that before I let some weirdo get my number. This guy promised me he wasn’t a bad guy, he would not abuse my number blah blah blah. I really did trust him and I think he was really a nice guy but I was running late to meet him, emails weren’t going through fast enough so and I couldn’t figure out how to block my number but I wanted him to wait for me so I went ahead and dialed. We had a great time, he made a good offer, but I wanted more and he wanted me too often. We parted ways. He then sent me an email telling me how much he enjoyed my company but their were only 5 things wrong with me and he proceeded to bullet point them, one of them being that I was “too protective of my phone number and that made him wonder if I was uptight” Now this guy is dead serious. In his heart he believed he was doing me a favor by pointing this out. He also went on to tell me that I should see him at least 3 times a week for $4000 he’s not kidding! I make more at work why would I go see him and lose money. Anyways, time went on and he started calling and then writing and he started getting nastier and nastier with me and finally called me a whore because all I want to do is be paid per visit. Which is not what I said but because I broke it down to him he went off the deep end. Anyhow, I gave up on the phone call thing. I had to threaten him with my lawyer if he ever contacted me again. So I think having CONFIRMED address info and business info would be very important. Unless you have a pay as you go phone.

    About the topic, I was not happy at all that the guy who runs SA said that you can take $1000 a month and have a girl once a week! That’s just crazy and he should have emphasized that most women are expecting about $1000 or offset that example by saying something like “you might want to consider if you can pay her bills” IMHO a SD should be able to pay your rent, your bills, and make sure you have spending money at least, if he gets to see you every week. I wouldn’t even mind a guy who saw me all the time if I didn’t have to worry about making money. If I can afford me, than he should definitely be able to afford me and add some additional luxury to that as well. I’m disappointed in the new “volume discount” I see and women who are SB’s and still need to work. That just doesn’t make sense to me. This is a luxury item not a necessity. Sorry if I’ve upset anyone but that’s a true SD for me. Anything less, is selling yourself short. In today’s world sadly it has come to where you may need more than one SD to do this but I think that it is hurting SB’s in the long run.

  136. Stormcat says:

    Texas ~ well I guess that answers that.
    Midwest ~ #1

  137. Stormcat says:

    Sweettooth ~ go for it, just do it with care, like suggest a meet and then give him your phone number only after he has: 1st given you his name address phone number and you have 2nd, checked him out on line, and 3rd, called him and spoken at length.

  138. Stormcat says:

    Well I did watch the video and quite enjoyed it although it did seem a bit disjointed. I liked what was said about being an SD. I mean that you don’t have to be rich to do it. Sure, it is a lot easier to be an SD if your budget is not the issue but when you have to plan and save and forego things in order to be there for your kitten, and you don’t say anything you just do it, then you gain an extra margin of pleasure in the process.

  139. Lisa says:

    Never count a potential until you actually discuss allowance/meetings and actually meet. In my experience it has taken less than 2 weeks and several emails, and maybe a phone call or two before meeting. It also depends on what is discussed in the emails. If he has asked about your financial needs and told you what he was looking for in terms of meetings, it should be time to meet. However if nothing has been discussed as of yet, you still need to find out more so you will know if you are both on the same page. I have had times in the past where I had 4 or 5 potentials that went nowhere and then out of the blue, I get an email and within a week i’ve found a sd.

  140. sweettooth says:

    Hey ALL! I just wanted to say I think I am off to a great start in the sugar world. At first I was a bit wary of the emails I was receiving, a lot of one liners and weird profiles. However, I have been emailing three great pot sds. Each has been between 2-3 emails, do you think it’s time to step it up and give them my phone number?

    Ultimately I am looking for just one great SD but I shouldn’t narrow it down just yet right??

  141. sweettooth says:

    I think I have seen much of what was in the video also…When I did a great deal of research before I joined this site to make sure it was what I wanted to do…and a lot of the video seemed very familiar

  142. Lisa says:

    This looked like a compilation of several news clips.

  143. Midwest SB says:

    LOL Stormcat! Does this mean I’m second or fifth?

    Glad to see you back Stephan!

    This may sound strange, but I have actually watched this video before …I love that they featured sbs from all ages and demographics. Hopefully others will see it and get a better idea of what sugar is about…although Brandon did give it a very wide range. Ultimately, it’s what you want it to be. :-)

  144. TexasSugah says:

    Stormcat – Go for it dear!

  145. Stormcat says:

    Well Im not just 1st I’m 2nd 3rd and 4th too! Should I go for 5th?

  146. Stormcat says:

    So I showed “The Sugarcat Blues” to a guitarist friend of mine and he liked it! I think he’s gonna help me record it.He’ll do the vocals, but we still need a base player, a drummer, and someone on keyboards. They might even let me set in on blues harp. But I’m just an amateur so I’m not holding out any hope for that.
    Stephan – maybe SA could host it since it’s about sugar dating.

    • stephan says:

      Stormcat: This sounds like a hoot! I love the lyrics and will definitely get the support of SA behind it however possible!

  147. Stormcat says:

    Hello Stephan, I know you’re lurking. Enjoyed meeting you at the NY party and was hoping that the administration might let you join in here once in a while. We’d all like to get to know you better. Maybe you could just post unofficially under a pseudonym!

  148. Stormcat says:

    Wahoo . . . Haven’t been first for a long time! But I’m probably only first bc Alleycat (aka ArizonaSD) is not posting cause he doesn’t want to look like he spends his whole life on the blog.
    Thing is now I have to go back and look at the video that this topic is addressing.

Top