7 years ago
Sugar Evaluation

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On SeekingArrangement, Sugar Daddies, Sugar Mamas, and Sugar Babies come in every age, size, shape, color, and flavor. Yet many of us question our sugar credentials…

Well, as it turns out, the blog has had a big star as one of its long-time lurkers, and she’s come out of sugarblog obscurity to send a message. What we can reveal of her identity at this time is limited, but she’s sure of what she wants and feels strongly that all of us should too. Here is her advice to a questioning sugar baby:

Question from ‘FoxSugar43’:

I had a sugar daddy once when I was in my late teens, but otherwise, I would consider myself new to this sort of scenario.
With all that in mind, I am wondering if being in my early 40’s I can expect the attention of any sugar daddies? I am in Southern California. I have composed a concise, warm and informative profile and have included three recent, clear photos. I expect my profile to be approved by this time tomorrow.

Response from (to be announced):

Now you are living in Southern California which- correct me if I am wrong- is where they keep Hollywood and that means, automatically, you get to subtract ten years from your age. Moreover, if the camera puts ten pounds on you, you have an advantage because, the more you eat, the bigger a star you will be. And don’t forget Beverly Hills and Rodeo Drive either. Also that nobody even remembers how many times people like Elizabeth Taylor got married after she was forty or fifty or sixty or how much it cost even though I’m sure it was millions. And she didn’t even need it! So you just rethink that information you put out there and don’t be tooo informative- men do not deserve the truth after the way they’ve behaved through history. Why! Just look at the word: history. his story. See what I mean? What about her story, huh? What I always say is, there are always two sides to everything, and if bein; two-sided is gonna get us that condo we have our eye on, or that Rolls convertible, or that stock portfolio, well… let the chips fall where they may as long as it’s in our direction.
Besides, what they say is, ‘Forty is the new thirty’ and if you’re in a new scenario, it means nobody knows you yet and, believe me, speaking as one who’s been 86’ed from more places than you could shake a stick at, there are always more fish in the sea. So you just put on your adorable little Southern California short shorts and work your new scenario, honey. California is where the 49’ers went to manifest destiny and, if they did it and founded a State, you can man-i-fest it too and get your share of the pie. And when you do, don’t forget your dear old Goddess Gwendelynne Faye ’cause I am rootin’ for you! Go get ’em!
***
How important is maturity for you in a potential sugar?

What questions should someone ask themselves before delving into the sugarbowl?

Do you think everyone has what it takes (emotionally, physically) to be a sugar? Why or why not?

Sugar Daddies: How do you feel when a SB contacts you and what makes you more likely to respond? Do you take this new relationship any less [seriously] since you didn’t initiate first contact?” – newbie

For the most part…Sugar is Fleeting. Enjoy, save and be kind. – OCSugarBaby

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1,006 Responses to “Sugar Evaluation”

  1. Me says:

    Sorry..extra zero lol…

  2. Me says:

    You guys are right. I simply don’t care that much. Maybe if he did buy me those 1,2000 Gucci’s I would. Maybe if I put more effort into it HE would. But when it all comes down to it, I’m just not that into him. I need to come to terms with that. Thanks guys.

  3. ElegantSugar says:

    Hello BRownSugarBabe and vimary! There is a new blog post so you may not get much action over here for much longer….

  4. vimary says:

    good morning every one! it is hot here… I would like to have one day on winter land :)
    elegant Im in Colombia, just a little bit far, but I think I will be back in NY this summer (hot again…)

  5. BrownSugarBabe says:

    Goodmorning Folks..Hope everyone’s had a nice week so far. I’d like to read everyone’s comments before I post one, so I’ll be back–may take me a while tho :-)

  6. ElegantSugar says:

    Thank you, NC Gent. That is my thought process too. I always safely assume the pot SD is speaking with other pot SBs. Why should he stop with just me before anything is solidified, right? The Sugar Sea is large. I guess it’s just one of those areas that we do what we feel is right and hope the other person appreciates honesty. I don’t make it a point of conversation, but I do mention it if the pot SD makes comments or questions leading to him wanting to know “when I’m ready to begin the relationship” and it always seems to come up every time. So I honestly provide the appropriate answer for that time frame. Such as, “Well, I have a date with a pot SD tomorrow night and it feel it would only be fair to meet with him since he and I have a lot in common too…” (something like that…)

    Perhaps IRLSD had a point when he said he felt rushed to make a decision on the first date. (???)

  7. Naughty Molly says:

    New blog everyone!

  8. CA Dreamin SB says:

    Morning all!

    Photogirl – Sorry for your loss :(

  9. NC Gent says:

    Good morning all. I have a meeting at Starbucks at 10 am with a new client — I hope he doesn’t come “sans panties.”

    Elegant — I pretty much assume that a pot-SB is talking to other SDs during the courtship. I often bring it up as part of conversation, because I can learn a lot by the negative and positive things that she is saying about the other potential SDs. Having said that though… I think many men can’t handle that, so if he doesn’t bring it up, I don’t think an SB should initiate the conversation. Having said that, you learn a lot about someone on how they handle a delicate question. Short answer — I would rather know, but I suspect a significant percentage would not want to know.

  10. ElegantSugar says:

    Good morning, Naughty Molly!

    I have a question for our blog SDs (since you all seem to be so mature and knowledgeable)…

    Would you rather not know that your pot SB is speaking with other pot SDs while you are ‘courting’ her? I’m referring to the early stages of your communication. No allowances have been exchanged, no commitments, you are just going through the “getting to know you phase” and perhaps have met on a couple of occasions for non-intimate dates. I’m asking because of what I just went through with my BCSD who kept throwing it in my face about “my other men” after I made a commitment to him. I felt I did all the right things. I was honest from the beginning with all of my pot SDs. Then after I made a choice, I let them all know, deleted my profile and was ready to solely focus on one. I’m just trying to gather information to correct anything I may have done wrong that resulted in his jealous behavior after the fact. I am thankful for any insight that can be offered on this.

  11. Naughty Molly says:

    Photo ~ I’m so sorry to hear about your loss :(
    If you need to talk, you know where to find me. Let me know if there is anything I can do.

    Good morning everyone!

  12. ElegantSugar says:

    You are very considerate, photogirl, BUT…YOU SHOULD HAVE CALLED!!!!! I completely could have used a local friend who knows about my sugar life after this week! (and you are the only one) We could have even just hung out at my place. I have loads of wine and ice cold Patron XO Cafe. Don’t ever hesitate calling me.

  13. photogirl says:

    Elegant – Thank you… I was very tempted to call and see if you wanted to go out for a drink, but I refrained knowing you had just returned home.

  14. photogirl says:

    Me – Midwest and Elegant nailed it on the head….as usual.

    now…that’s as far as I am scrolling up. :)

  15. ElegantSugar says:

    Hi Photogirl – you are right. I do remember Chairman and CEO now. Back when Lily was Taylor.

    So sorry about the news of your family member. :( You know I’m here for you.

  16. ElegantSugar says:

    Can’t stand when I don’t close the html. Oops.

  17. photogirl says:

    Chairman and CEO is where this all started haha….

    Glad you are hvaing a good time though Lily… I have no idea how you juggle all that.

    Sorry…have no idea what went on last night, I was dealing with family member passing away. Very long night and I don’t have the energy to catch up, scroll up or anything.

  18. ElegantSugar says:

    Me – Midwest stated it perfectly. But I do have to say this…

    You didn’t mention once that you attempted to make it up to your SD that you “backed out of Valentine’s Day plans”. Even your choice of words sounds like it wasn’t that important to you. You back out of buying that $500 DVF dress you’ve been eyeballing. You back out of indulging in $1,500 Blahniks. You don’t back out of a special date with your SD, especially if he even went out of his way to buy you a dress for the event.

    Even if you were not feeling well, you should have at least tried and in the beginning told him you weren’t feeling well. If you were really that sick, he would have recognized this, thanked you for trying and encouraged you to go home and get better and you two would make up for it another night. At least, that’s how I feel. Sorry about your car. As Midwest said, you may have to go another route to get it fixed this time. In the meantime, returning the dress only makes it seem as though you are heartless about canceling. I would try to make amends with your SD if I were you; if you really care about him.

  19. ElegantSugar says:

    Hey Lily…I’m just curious. You have ZazazazoomSD that you travel with and adore, SafetyNetSD that you tolerate because he’s crazy about you and reliable (but he seems to irk you somewhat) and then HandsomeSD (who isn’t really a SD, but you were hoping to convert into one) that you are obviously lovesick over and I thought that was all you were juggling. WHERE did Chairman and CEO come in? I’m so confused. Explain, girl. But in short paragraphs. Ha ha!

  20. Lily says:

    Lunch with the Chairman was a delight. No mention of anything untoward, nothing happened except career counseling and his obvious warm feelings towards me. Maybe 1pm in the daylight of my home office is just not a very sensual atmosphere. He’s very handsome and I think it would make a very good match between us, but… I didn’t feel it was the right time to drop any hints. I think we will meet again in private, though.

    He did ask me if his colleague, the CEO of the parent company of the company I do work for, had contacted me and I admitted tha the had. I think Chairman worries that CEO wants to date me (well, he does). Eh. Who cares. I’ll take teh career mentoring in a platonic non-sugary way. Who knows what happens later on.

  21. Lily says:

    Midwest— well put!

  22. Midwest says:

    Austin SD- Welcome back!

    Me- That is a delicate situation. IMHO – If he provides an allowance, that should help cover those unexpected expenses…additional gifts or assistance are a bonus. I can understand not feeling well, but you are his sb and with that comes making sure you make up for not seeing him. What if he made plans that couldn’t be cancelled? What if went through a lot of effort to create a special Valentines Day. Personally, I would make it my first priority to make up for a lost “special”date before I asked for anything else. I know you need your car, but you may have to find another way to get it fixed this time around. If you can smooth things over, he may reimburse you. Just remember that he is disappointed and feels like his investment (time and money) is not havaing a good return at the moment.

  23. Me says:

    I backed out of going out with my SD on Vday and now he is pissed at me and he won’t fix my car =(. Should I give him back the dress he bought for me? The night sounded fun when he told me about it but when the day came I wasn’t feeling well and I decided to stay home in bed. Help =/

  24. AustinSD says:

    Sorry for the long absence all. I’ve been a tad busy with works and pot SBs. Sign me up for a TX meet.

  25. ElegantSugar says:

    Good night to anyone who is still up. Lots of catch up work tomorrow and extra workouts on my list. Sweet, dreams.

  26. ElegantSugar says:

    Going back to the topic of fetishes, I just read a profile where the SD is looking for a woman to “pose in stockings and take on/off her heels. Sessions will last an hour or so.” He can get that by watching the shoe-a-thon on QVC. For free.

  27. ElegantSugar says:

    I’m in, Lily. I have shared many beds with other women. Not in that way, but you know.

  28. Lilyl says:

    NYCSB, I do the matchmaker thing too!!! Nearly constantly…

    I am so distracted thinking about HandsomeSD and our texting last night. I followed up with a cute poem via SMS with a kinky spin. I must say he really spins my head around…

    I was building a shelf last night with a friend, also for the hall. It’s a rectangular shaped “room” that finally feels like a real space to linger and ‘be’ and not a transitionary space. So important when80 people are here and the living rooms are full.

    Yes, everyone stays with me!!! I have four extra beds. More accomodatioms can be improvised and if two SBs can sleep side by side on a queen, then I can sleep about 8-9 SBs in my apartment with me…Also my friend has an even bigger apartment around the corner and could put a few up in beds as well.

  29. ElegantSugar says:

    And the wine just spelled “comforting” wrong. Bad wine. Bad.

  30. ElegantSugar says:

    Current status: Norah Jones and a glass of red. Reading. Writing. Reflecting. With the familiar and comfortiong sounds of home surrounding me. Will be seeking slumber soon myself.

  31. Lilyl says:

    First post on my iPhone!

    Just caught up. LASB you are goooooorgeous. Blog lust in full swing.

    I worry that Flo is talking about me…. :(

  32. ElegantSugar says:

    Yes, you are right, NYC SB. I shouldn’t complain and be so hard on myself because of this last DUD. I have had 2 wonderful arrangements and no need to create a new profile because of amazing pots I can still connect with. I just feel like I’m grieving over this last situation. I truly thought I made the right choice. I’m just too critical of my own mistakes sometimes. This, I know.

  33. NYC SB says:

    Elegant – I got your back… it really is the right situation falling in your lap …

  34. ElegantSugar says:

    More power to you, NYC SB. Someone has to be good at it, I guess. I would never be a matchmaker. Then again, I can’t match my own damn ass with the right person so I am SO not qualified for such a pedigree.

  35. NYC SB says:

    JSO – I have 2

    Im spreading relationships im afraid… sugar sprinkles on top but not arrangements…. im keeping fingers crossed for this one

  36. ElegantSugar says:

    Oh, Virgin Islands Mary?

  37. ElegantSugar says:

    Good night, Midwest & mommapoppins!

    Where are you, vimary?

  38. mommapoppins says:

    *night*

  39. mommapoppins says:

    good not sugars, sweet dreams!

  40. vimary says:

    here is like 75 oF… hOt HoT hot!!!

  41. Midwest says:

    NYC SB – You can put a positive spin on anything. Your latest blog entry on Roxxxy is priceless!

    Goodnight JSO.

    I’m off too. Who knows, I may be back at 2:30 am if it’s a repeat of last night!

  42. mommapoppins says:

    NYC SB- send some my way while you are doing the dishing out!

  43. JSO-TXSD says:

    ELEGENT – LOL
    GOOD NIGHT EVERYONE. HAVE SWEET DREAMS.
    sorry about caps

  44. ElegantSugar says:

    JSO – There is only one Naughty Molly.

    Besides, I like to reserve my naughtiness for a select few. Makes it more special. Kind of like the Limited Edition super-exclusive Bentley Continental GTZ Zagato.

  45. Midwest says:

    NYGent – no shame, but it would narrow down who I am rather quickly. I’d rather wait to share. Plus, it does add a hint of mystery.

    JSO – Beach told me she hasn’t been able to post lately. I can’t imagine why, but I have learned to stay out of the middle (sort of). TXSB was just on earlier today. She is staying busy and in search of the perfect SD.

    NYC SB – Are you spreading sugar? Send some my way please!

  46. ElegantSugar says:

    NYC SB – you can’t do that. Throw out a tease and then walk away. You aren’t going to share a little more about your matchmaking hoorah?

  47. JSO-TXSD says:

    Elegentsugger – what beat me with a wet noddle. Sorry you are no Naughty Molly. I am not scared.

  48. JSO-TXSD says:

    NYC SB – how many do you have now girl?

  49. ElegantSugar says:

    JSO – I could tell you, but then I’d have to…well, you know…

  50. NYC SB says:

    Flo – enjoy your night…

    I myself am feeling good about myself… I am a matchmaker 😀 its amazing how giddy I get over other people connecting

    going to work out tomorrow morning… gotta look super hot for my SDs… and for myself

  51. JSO-TXSD says:

    Does anyone know what Beach and TXSB have been up to.

  52. mommapoppins says:

    ok midwest spill the beans!!!

  53. NYGent says:

    midwest: I agree with elegant on the job description.

    why the hesitation to just say what you do, there is no shame and a lot of pride in it?

  54. Midwest says:

    Elegant – There you go again! I could use your writing skills IRL!

  55. ElegantSugar says:

    My last message was for Midwest.

  56. Midwest says:

    DC and NYGent- I think we can group together Ohio, IL, IN and MI for the midwest bunch (SDN, NEOhioSB, me, james.m, ChitownSB).

  57. ElegantSugar says:

    Then maybe combine what you had with how you just explained it!

    Occupation: A sweet job that brings me great pleasure!

  58. Midwest says:

    momma – you bet I do…most rewarding career EVER!

  59. mommapoppins says:

    that was to midwest and elegant

  60. DC SB says:

    NY Gent DCers, VAers and MDers consider themselves one in the same (“DMV” is what we lovingly refer to as our tristate area).

  61. Midwest says:

    Elegant – yes! But I have to remember that it might be read with the little brain.

    JSO – I gave it away…you can come out now.

  62. mommapoppins says:

    sounds like it to me!!!

  63. Midwest says:

    NYGent – lol…I’ve seen enough 65 yo men in FL looking for the 18 yo women.

    Flo Rida – Can’t wait for details!

    Elegant – I just submitted the revisions a few minutes ago. I didn’t want it to sound overly sexual, but did want it to be flirty. I’m in fundraising…so once you hear the actual occupation, it’s sweet. I will have to tone it down a bit.

  64. AnnaMadrid says:

    Hey guys! How’s everyone doing???

  65. JSO-TXSD says:

    I know what midwest does. ***now shutting up and going into the corner for time out***

  66. ElegantSugar says:

    Midwest – are you trying to say you love your job without saying what exactly it is that you do?

  67. NYGent says:

    midwest: does that mean there are 65 y.o sbs from Florida looking for 85 y.o. SDs?

    Reminds me of the old joke: the 70 y.o. man who married the hot 25 y.o. girl, when asked how he landed her, said: “I lied about my age. Told her I was 95.”

  68. mommapoppins says:

    jso- it was very beautiful while it lasted!

  69. ElegantSugar says:

    Sounds too sexual in my opinion…unless that is the goal, I say no.

    I think we aren’t seeing your profile because you are making revisions that haven’t been approved. Is that correct?

  70. Midwest says:

    NYGent and Elegant – Occupation – how about “As for my occupation, it brings me great pleasure and satisfaction”? Is that too ambiguous?

  71. ElegantSugar says:

    That is great, Flo! I mean the sweating off of the weight, of course…AND ALSO your surprise night with SD. Can’t wait for the update.

  72. JSO-TXSD says:

    flo – calm down i am sure you look great

  73. JSO-TXSD says:

    no snow here

  74. Flo Rida says:

    Elegant – methinks many SBs think they can do this and then ‘chicken out’ or don’t wait to meet the right SD. Also i’m sure many SDs poof as well. TXSB is absolutely right. I shouldn’t elaborate more to protect the innocent.

    All – thanks for the well wishes – apparently SD and I are heading out in NY after midnight, not to a club and apparently ‘SD will not disappoint’ – I have no idea what’s about to happen but i’m excited. NY is one of those few towns where you can go out after midnight (Rio, Madrid, Barcelona?) I can update everyone tomorrow. PS I weighed myself again after working out for 6 hrs today (bloody exhausted though) & now i’m only 3lbs overweight which has made me happier – silly me.

  75. Midwest says:

    NYGent – FL doesn’t have more simply because the densest age group is 65 and older..

    Perhaps there should be a TX meet so these fine bloggers can meet in person. I’d go just to revisit the Stockyards. I heard downtown FW is quite nice now. I still prefer Dallas and San Antonio.

  76. ElegantSugar says:

    NYGent – have most of your SBs been new to the SB world. I am just wondering because I know from my own personal story that when I was an inexperienced SB, I don’t think I truly appreciated my first SD in the ways that I should have. I was never, ever mean or anything like that. I was always sweet and fun and easy to get along with. We had great conversations. (In fact, he told me I could write a book on being a SB who knows how to communicate with her SD.)

    I think what I was lacking as a green SB in the beginning was just not recognizing that I needed to be more present when we were together. A little more romantic. Treat it like a fun, new relationship instead of being so nervous and worried about things. But our arrangement was very rare. Outside of kissing and cuddling occasionally (even though it was the highest allowance I ever received), sex was never expected and never happened. In hindsight, I have wondered if he was just being the gentleman that he always is and respecting the fact that I was so new to this world and waiting for me to make a move. I’m not sure. Although we are friends now, I have never asked him and probably won’t. It doesn’t matter now.

    I guess my point is, new SBs just don’t know how to act sometimes and truly don’t realize the arrangement should be treated in almost the exact same way as a traditional relationship, but as Flo stated, the tables are turned a little and the SB should really give a little more in certain areas…

  77. mommapoppins says:

    NYGent- sounds good to me!

  78. NYGent says:

    In terms of bloggers I think Texas has had more representation than any other state. New york/NYC, California and Canada (including all provinces) would be next, then there is a big drop off from there. probably illinois, virginia, north carolina, D.C. in the next tier, and a smattering of misc. places after that. surprising, given it’s 2nd or 3rd in population, that Florida doesn’t have more.

  79. mommapoppins says:

    Sorry midwest, not working again! I have to say, I love the concerts, and I used to like the bar. I have not been in a while though!

  80. mommapoppins says:

    While the SD’s have a hard time finding the SB for them, I seem to find the same problem being a SB. I have not found the SD for me yet. There are alot of false people. It is sad!

  81. Midwest says:

    I live in DFW for three years and had a great time! Worked at Billy Bob’s TX…Yee Ha! Isn’t it ridiculous what you will do through college? I did get to see some great concerts while there.

  82. Midwest says:

    See if the link works now. We went through this at 2am this morning, but I’m on my mini.

  83. ElegantSugar says:

    In a past life, I lived in El Pisshole, TX. Bought lots of chiclets in Juarez.

  84. mommapoppins says:

    Been there a time or two! How is the weather there? Still some snow in the grass in places, but still cold!

  85. ElegantSugar says:

    I would think SBs in TX would be abundant. The TX SDs who have contacted me basically said they were looking in all areas since they wanted a “travel partner” and didn’t really need to have the person be local.

  86. JSO-TXSD says:

    beaumont area

  87. mommapoppins says:

    I am in east texas, kinda close to Longview. You?

  88. JSO-TXSD says:

    momma – what part of texas are you from?

  89. JSO-TXSD says:

    Midwest – so only girls can see it. interesting…lol

  90. Lisa says:

    Texas sucks, Houston sucks double lol

  91. mommapoppins says:

    Our state might be full, but not all the right ones are here

  92. Midwest says:

    433764 I have to remember how to make it work for men and women.

  93. JSO-TXSD says:

    midwest you are not linked

  94. JSO-TXSD says:

    mommapoppins – thank you

  95. JSO-TXSD says:

    you would think texas would be a target rich enviorment but it is not in the houston area.

  96. mommapoppins says:

    jso-I am sorry things are not going well, hopefully the search will brighten up here soon for you!

  97. Midwest says:

    Hi JSO! Love those short vents. I’m glad to see you don’t let things fester. I would think that TX would be great hunting grounds, yet I see you and a few others are patiently sifting though ladies.

  98. mommapoppins says:

    midwest- that was awesome

  99. JSO-TXSD says:

    My search sucks. I am getting frustrated.
    vent over
    hope everyone is doing ok tonight

  100. NYGent says:

    Elegant/Midwest: I should be clear, i’m not blaming any SBs, just saying not sure I am right for this or maybe I’m just not what they’re looking for. I adored my last SB, but feeling wasn’t mutual.

  101. Midwest says:

    New heading to add to the wall of shame:

    “My c*ck is as thick as my wallet”

    I wonder how that one is working out??

  102. ElegantSugar says:

    NYGent – you seem to be a perfect kind of SD. Midwest is correct, the right SB just hasn’t come along. One who will appreciate you. She is still out there kissing frogs.

  103. Midwest says:

    NYGent – Awwww – I wish I knew what to say. We all KNOW you are cut out to be an SD…we just have to find an sb who appreciates what you have to offer. It’s shocking to see you have these challenges.

  104. NYGent says:

    My answers to topic questions:

    How important is maturity for you in a potential sugar?

    I will be a contrarian here. Everybody so far has predictably said “very important.” I guess that’s probably true for SB expectations of SDs, they don’t want a “boy.” But for me as SD looking at SBs, while not unimportant, it’s not near the top of the list. Most SBs over 30 are fairly mature. But for those 25 and under, I do not really expect a lot of maturity and haven’t really found it, I just sort of accept a certain degree of immaturity as part of the territory.

    What questions should someone ask themselves before delving into the sugarbowl?

    I can’t really improve on TXSB’s answer which I’ll repeat here:

    “SBs should really ask themselves if they’re able to become intimate with a man who’s providing her with an allowance and/or gifts…and also decide if they’re able to become intimate with a man who will most likely be much older than her. I’ve seen too many posts here on the blog, and also heard stories off the blog where SDs meet first time SBs who have “issues” becoming intimate (they feel guilty, they say the need time to get used to the SDs age etc).

    On the other hand, SDs need to ask themselves if they’re ok with paying an allowance or giving gifts etc. to SB. I’ve met several “SDs” (in addition to seeing posts on the blog) who say they don’t want to pay an allowance b/c they see it as paying for sex…or they really want a GF etc.”

    Do you think everyone has what it takes (emotionally, physically) to be a sugar? Why or why not?

    No, and honestly not sure I do.

  105. Lisa says:

    All the apartments here are owned by real estate companies. The one I live in is owned by a slum lord who does nothing. The one I want to move to is owned by the same company that owns the mall and all the buildings in the area. It is actually an older building that where I live now but it’s in the Memorial area so it never deteriorated like this side of the freeway. Also they don’t allow families of 7 to live in one bedroom apartments.

  106. Lisa says:

    I’m not sure. I have found that all good things come to an end and the bad things linger. 2 months ago tonight I was having a wonderul evening with my sd in Massachussets. Now he’s so distant, I miss him.

  107. mommapoppins says:

    doing great thaks for asking

  108. Midwest says:

    Hi Taz!

    Lisa -it starts like a step in the right direction! I live in a privately owned apartment and it’s perfect! It’s a house converted to two units, well-maintained, yard, hardwoods, and very reasonable. I had to look under the rocks and crevices to find it, but it’s a true gem in the world of rentals.

  109. mommapoppins says:

    It will all work out for you lisa, I know it will

  110. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:

    Lisa! Sounds like a perfect plan – better get that profile back up lady!!

    How is everyone tonight?

  111. Lisa says:

    Yes well someone was going to help me move to the apartments where my parents and daughter live (it’s the only decent on around that is on the same bus line so I can get to work easily). It’s not that much more expensive but the requirements are good credit (I don’t have that) and 3 and half times the rent, I fall about 1300 short for that . They said if the rent was paid for the 6 month lease, I could move in. I could save my rent money for 6 months and maybe with some sd help, would have the next 6 months when the lease renewed. I would be able to get out at night and the mall would be visible from my window.

  112. mommapoppins says:

    lol that was to cute!-lisa

  113. Lisa says:

    Yes it’s very creepy. I was laying against the wall in my empty dining room one day when my parents were visiting. I let him out to walk around and he kept trying to do it with my legs. I think it was because I had my yellow angora over the knee socks on and he loves yellow. Then he’ll spread his wings out and do his little dance around me. Very weird.

  114. Midwest says:

    Lisa – I’m sorry it is on hold…I can certainly understand. I have faith that all will work out with your apartment…I hope you do too. You have a good soul and I’m sure Percy appreciates it.

  115. ElegantSugar says:

    I had no idea pigeons “humped”…wow. Just when I thought I knew almost everything something on this blog surprises me.

  116. Lisa says:

    We’ve bonded quite well and he’s never really seen any other birds since I took him in at 3 weeks old. It is an odd feeling when I let him out for a fly and he tries to hump me. Last year he was trying to make a nest with his newspaper for me. He loves yellow and when he’s in an amourous mood, I let him hump my yellow shoes, lol

    He’s very finicky and will only eat birdseed and popcorn.

  117. ElegantSugar says:

    Flo – I am curious…what instigated your SB vent? I know I personally have felt myself become frustrated reading what some of the SDs have shared on the blog about the behaviors they have tolerated.

  118. mommapoppins says:

    Lisa- I am so sorry to hear about Percy. Thank Got there are ladies out there like you to rescue him.

  119. ElegantSugar says:

    mommapoppins – I always see little bits about Percy and I used to think he was a child, then I thought he was someones grandpa, then I finally figured out somehow that he might be a bird!

    Lisa – Awwww. What a sad (but sweet) story. I would have saved him too! I watched a car in front of me drive right over a seagull and just keep going. I stopped my car and saved it. Took him to a bird rescue and they called me 3 months later to let me know they were able to save him and just released him back near the ocean.

  120. mommapoppins says:

    midwest- when the time is right it will be!

  121. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:

    Elegant – I do believe Percy is a bird 😛

  122. Lisa says:

    Good evening

    Midwest, heard from sd but he’s needing time alone. I guess he’s not my sd anymore :(

    Yes Percy is a bird. He’s a pigeon that I rescued 2 years ago. There was a nest in my flower pot and I came home from work one night to find one bird crushed to death and Percy huddled next to him. My broom had been moved and the handle was bloody. Some of my savage neighbor kids did it. He has respitory problems and is limited in his flying due to an injured wing from being knocked out of the nest so he could never make it on his own.

    I was hoping I’d get to move but no word from the apartments. I didn’t get to call them when they asked and they didn’t answer my voicemail :(

  123. Midwest says:

    Percy is Lisa’s pet pigeon…and her avatar.

  124. mommapoppins says:

    elegant- lol what!?

  125. Midwest says:

    Thanks for the compliments!

    Elegant – Those are the kind of suggestions I’m looking for! Thank you!

    Momma – You are absolutely right! In the past month 3 or 4 of the blog sbs have found new SDs…we’re next!

  126. mommapoppins says:

    elegant- you are so good! Between what she has posted and your revisions, it sounds perfect! To bad I did not come up with it!!

  127. ElegantSugar says:

    Can someone tell me…..is Percy a bird?

  128. ElegantSugar says:

    Oh, and if saying, “3D” doesn’t suit your personality then just say “in person.”

  129. ElegantSugar says:

    Midwest – you are going to do wonderfully with your search! My candid feedback on your profile (since you request I do it openly on the blog)…

    Honestly, I think it looks great, but these would be my revision recommendations:

    BEFORE: “Everyone I meet is pleasantly surprised in that I look better than most of my pictures.”

    AFTER: “Men are often pleased with my photos, but I am much more appreciated in 3D.”

    The AFTER is somewhat cute-sassy and sounds more confident.

    On this part: “We will create memories of great times spent together, intimate moments (or hours) and trust in the arrangement.”

    I would remove ‘hours’. I feel it implies you are willing to have an “hourly” arrangement with someone.

  130. mommapoppins says:

    Midwest- It sucks that you have to start the hunt over. At least you are not alone, I am right there with you!

  131. CA Dreamin SB says:

    Midwest, your profile is excellent – I wouldn’t change a thing! (I even want to copy a couple of things!)

  132. Midwest says:

    CdnGent – It looks like you will have a variety of blog sbs at your beckon call with passports at the ready! What else could a guy ask for!

    Photogirl – Hi! We need to get Beachgirl back on here! She and Cdn may have a few things in common. What do you think?

    Lily – The Helsinki meet sounds wonderful…I see there is a lot to learn from you my energetic, top down friend.

    NYCSB – There’s plenty of time to sleep…carry on Gossip Girl!

    Lisa – have you heard from SD? Send Percy out there to deliver a letter.

  133. mommapoppins says:

    Hey everyone, hope all is well as can be!

  134. Midwest says:

    Good evening sugars! Thanks for all the kindness and support today. It certainly makes sharing bad news easier. You are a great group!

    Flo Rida – Sorry for the bad vibes dear…you’ve been in a funk for a few days. I’d be happy to come out and make martinis while we turn that frown around. :-)

    Elegant – I’m soooo glad you are home and can put that experience behind you. I give you so much credit for your discipline with working out. I have a personal trainer, but would still like to do more cardio than I’m currently doing. Treadmills bore me and the weather sucks…need an indoor activity!

    *Sigh* I feel like I have an overwhelming search ahead of me. I took for granted how nice it was not to have to go through the search process. Time to put some of that great advice to work. I have linked my profile to my name and am welcoming any advice on the blog to make it the best profile ever!

  135. ElegantSugar says:

    I’m finally hooooome!!! Feels so so so so good!!

    You guys have been busy little bees on here.

    Photogirl – you are the best! PastSD1 is such a wonderful, genuine person and I’m glad you met him. We are all going out for a fun dinner tomorrow night (some of the crew you met at PastSD1’s party) and would love for you to join if you’re free.

    LASB – trust me, if I ate like that every single day, I would be a lethargic mess. I pay for it, believe me! When I’m doing that extra session of kettlebells or running an extra 3 miles, I’m hating myself for indulging. But oh, it is so worth it during.

    So Lils is planning a European meet for all of us, is she? I think her huge apartment will be hosting all of us then? :)

    Flo – So sorry for your current distress. If anyone can stay strong, it’s you.

    I will have to scroll up and see what else I missed.

  136. NYCBella says:

    Lil SB~You would think they wouldn’t. But, some men don’t know how to function without drama, I guess. I’ve heard several men say that they don’t think a woman is really into them if there’s no drama because it’s the only type of relationships they’ve experienced before (I guess with really clingy, drama-filled, insecure girls). Endless hours bartending, you hear so many sob stories from guys in obviously hopeless situations that they subconsciously thrive on. But that’s just my opinion.

  137. NYCBella says:

    LASB~I’m back. Had to step out to get something done today. Lol.

    Flo~Good to see you here again. Sorry things are stressful right now. Such a good point…vent away. You are the epitome of when you speak, you have something to say versus just idly chatting away at nonsense.

    Cdn~See! You can lose endless amounts of time being on the blog, and before you know it, the day has completely slipped away. Happy sugar hunting!

  138. lil'SB says:

    Why would a pot pay to have his life made miserable?

  139. LASB says:

    *Crickets chirping*

  140. LASB says:

    Flo – Sorry things are a bit rough for you. And thanks for the reminder to be fun SBs and not miserable ones. I know I get way more done when I’m having a great time. There’s something very effective about fun.

  141. Flo Rida says:

    CdnGent – Rule #1 for my SD is that he values loyalty & discretion above all other things & he is paranoid about people using him. He knows I will put his interests ahead of mine (or at least the same level). Some of his friends say that they’ve spent 2 years knowing him before he would ‘let them into the circle’ – you can never ask to join, you’re invited. Also ‘you serve at his pleasure’ and so when it is no longer his pleasure – you’re out & he doesn’t change his mind. So what does this mean, it means you should only hire an EA that you trust completely, without hesitation.

    Elegant – Sorry for your experience, you can’t test for honesty, sincerity & manners, trust has to be earned.

    Midwest – James – I am truly sorry. You have my sympathies.

    WARNING VENTING TO FOLLOW
    On a separate note, I don’t understand some alleged SBs who are so focused on their troubles that they make pot SDs lives miseries and full of drama – these girls are idiots and the complete opposite of fun SBs. Also SBs can’t employ normal dating tactics as in the sugar world the tables are turned (slightly) and great SDs (of which there are few) are in demand.
    VENTING OVER

    All – i’m still in a funk, i’m 5lbs overweight and so feel like a whale, things have been going poorly for SD’s business and it’s affected his mood and though I’m still smiling it’s getting harder & harder to do. Lastly one friend in real life and one blog friend are not having a great time. So sad. i’m going to curl up in a ball and cry (again). Please have fun without me!

  142. LASB says:

    Oh, there you are! :)

  143. Lily says:

    I want more talk of a Helsinki meet. Pronto.

    Or I get viscious!

  144. LASB says:

    Bella – I understand. I’m in the same boat until my “winnings” come in. Plus, I still have a lot to do. The old place is officially on the market this week! Yay! I have to get all my papers to the accountant for tax season. And today, I’m finally putting handle pulls on the cabinets of the place that I live. The joys of buying a foreclosure. Worth it, but more elbow grease than I realized.

  145. CdnGent says:

    Okay all … thanks for the fun today. You have all effectively contributed to a full day of my getting absoutely nothing done. I simply can’t afford to continue to lollygag like this so I will be sending out invoices to your respective SD’s for my lost time. Haha!

    Stay fun folks … and carry on!

    CdnGent

  146. NYCBella says:

    Cleo~I feel ya. Too many people immediately stereotype based on previous experiences if you overwhelm them with the full shabang before they get to know the real you. You are awesome! Glad you aren’t forgetting it. 😀

  147. CdnGent says:

    Sugar endurance test? Good grief, WHAT have I gotten myself into? LOL!

  148. LASB says:

    ESB – YAAAAY!!! Congratulations!!

    Ok, I think I scared Lily off with my pics. lol. You send your pics and poof. Just like the SDs.

  149. NYCBella says:

    LASB~I wish I could, but I’d need a sponsor. :-( So much to deal with here for the moment unfortunately.

  150. cleo says:

    nycbella that’s half of it, i’m sick and my abs are twisted and i can’t work out because it hurts to cough and i need the damn endorphins. i have to go outside or work out, it’s how i survive winter! that and good food (read vegetables.) but i know too that when this shit gets you down you need to step off for a bit.

    truth i got one of those last straw emails the other day. one of the lurkers (gorgeous and well spoken, let me know if anyone in colorado wants a profile number) emailed me to tell me that he wants to read my blogs but not have a relationship with me. i can’t figure out how to answer it to tell you the truth. i mean why would i want to share either my personal blog with five years of posts about my growth as a human and photos of my baby NIECE or my adult blog that has three years worth of my smut posted with a total stranger who doesn’t want a relationship with me? what’s the point of that?

    either way i’m opening up huge pieces of myself that i don’t even show men i do date until they know ME (otherwise they assume my personality from the blog) … really i don’t even know what to say. it’s not that i’m offended i’m just speechless.

    anyway i thought i better stop before i forgot how awesome i am… it took too long to get here.
    .
    LASB lol there’s a little of that too.
    .
    cdn i don’t think anyone thinks you’re posting too much, no worries

  151. CdnGent says:

    Okay … well I’m willing to share my perspective with anyone who’s looking for it although most of you sound like you do VERY well already. How do I get my membership card?

  152. NYCBella says:

    Cdn~Super secret handshake??? Hmmm…I’ll pass that one on to Elegant and LASB…whatdaya think ladies? I think we might have to put you through a few little sugar rituals (not really hazing though)…more of a sugar endurance test… 😉 I think Lils (aka Lil Ho) is currently organizing our European jaunt so she may have ideas….but not sure if LASB and I will be able to bring our toy bags along with us… 😉

  153. LASB says:

    Bella and others – If you are needing some sun, come to the LA meet!!! It’s sooooo warm here. This is the most perfect February weather. I got a tan yesterday!

  154. LASB says:

    Cdn – The blog is just representative of the demographics of SA. Way more SDs than SBs. Trust what you hear from me and others, we like having the blog daddies. They are fun and give great pointers.

  155. NYCBella says:

    Cdn~We need more SDs on here…there’s quite a few (NY Gent, NC Gent, James, SDN, TXSD, IRL SD, JSO, etc…) but they seem to be quiet today. So you are DEFINITELY welcome…always great to have a SD perspective thrown into the mix.

  156. CdnGent says:

    SBA? Okay, THIS I need to know about. Is there a super secret handshake? If so, I’m totally in!

  157. Lisa says:

    Good afternoon

    So glad to be home, bad day at work. Was going to take my lunch break at 1, and the front end boss made me work an hour and half as cashier because he was shorthanded ( I am not a cashier) and so I ended up not being able to make a very important call at 1 and when I got my lunch break at 2:30, the person I needed to talk to was gone and I got an answering machine and they have not called me back :( I had to do with the possibililty of maybe getting out of my apartment complex before the city shuts it down. I have to work all day tomorrow so I can’t do anything tomorrow either. I knew it had to be too good to be true. I can think my lousy job for ruining another opportunity.

  158. ESB says:

    Sorry I haven’t been on.. been a little busy with my SD!! Funny how fast things just happen!!

    Gotta go, house sitting, and I need to get back there to let the dog out before his bladder explodes!!

    HUGS!!!

  159. NYCBella says:

    Cdn~posting too much…never! But it does look like you will be needing to join our SBA (Sugar Blog Anonymous) group…so easy to get addicted once you get that first sugar fix. lol

  160. LASB says:

    Cdn – Dito! No one is going to have any issues with an SD posting “too much” here. Welcome to the party!

  161. CdnGent says:

    Well, I get the feeling that for the most part, this blog is for the ladies which is fine. I’m surprised there isn’t a ‘review’ section for you gals here (or am I speaking too soon?) Hmmm, an SB review section? Okay, scary thoughts … nevermind.

  162. lil'SB says:

    Haha, I doubt anyone can ever blame an SD for posting ‘too much’…such a thing simply does not exist!

  163. NYCBella says:

    Hmmm….that emoticon was supposed to have a tounge stuck out…didn’t really add the affect I was attempting. So disappointing. Oh well.

    Elegant~I’m guessing either you’re in food coma mode or just blocked by the airport wifi gods…hope you have a safe flight!

  164. CdnGent says:

    Bella … got it. Sorry, i’m still trying to feel my way around here without ticking off the natives. And if as an SD i’m posting too often, tell me gang ok?

  165. NYCBella says:

    LASB~I’m soooo jealous! I just saw that you guys are in a total warm streak right now…it’s all snow and overcast skies here…ugh. 😛

  166. NYCBella says:

    Cdn~Just call me Bella… 😉 Events is only a means to an end…it foots the bill so that I can audition and work in theatre and film as much as possible.

  167. LASB says:

    Cleo – I’m guessing not. Well, not the way Lils talked about it, but maybe it’s not as bad as I read.

    I hear ya on the rejections. It’s kinda rough after a while, though I’ll admit, it’s usually me rejecting since there’s always something. (Most common is pay per meet. yuck!) But in a way, I think “shoot, aren’t I worth you straying from your pay per meet protocol?” I guess not. oh well.

  168. lil'SB says:

    Cleo, how about flirting? How do you flirt?

  169. CdnGent says:

    Hey NC … sorry, I don’t really have any Hollywood/LA contacts although I do know one major celeb film celeb and mega rockstar based down there personally. Still, nothing that could lead to events for you. For that you’d have to be in Orlando (although I think my contact at Universal Studios has a staff that does that for him), Chicago, Myrtle Beach, Virginia Beach and Seattle. I do have some NYC contacts working on Broadway but I wouldn’t wish that on my best friend. Broadway types are so melodramatic. You’d shoot yourself in the head. That said, I have a LOT of contacts right across Canada for anyone doing the event thing up this way.

  170. NYCBella says:

    Cleo~you are fabulous…don’t forget it lady…IRL and sugar dating can get exhausting at times, so don’t get down on yourself. I’m needing to get back into the pilates and pole studios to reclaim some of my mojo that has been waning over the last few weeks (so easy to get bogged down in the icky mire of being burnt out…ugh…), so I’m appointing you my blog motivator extraordinaire.

  171. cleo says:

    LASB are you sure i want him with whatever y’all are talking about?
    .
    that said, i think i’m done searching for an SD or a man of any kind. love you guys, staying here but … not searching for a while.

    it’s too depressing to never be enough even when you think you both had a great time and the sparks were flying. hell maybe it’s the always being wrong that’s getting to me. funny, i think i’m awesome and my friends think i’m awesome and people get upset with me when i don’t return their friend overtures. but unless i want to date the 20 year olds chasing me there isn’t anything in this town for me.

    well, unless i want to be *friends* of course. no benefits for me.

    so weird, i’m tall, like myself, am told that i’m funny, have great bones, am super flexible and teach sex workshops. one would think…

  172. NYCBella says:

    CDN~That being said, I’m just selling off my events company (planning my LA move) and am a fantastic party planner. Though being an actress is my passion….maybe you have some great contacts…i.e. I shoot a film, then plan you an event? Think about it…lol

  173. Lily says:

    Cleo, you are even more charming. and yes you are top of the list.

  174. NYCBella says:

    Hello sugas…
    I’m bbbbaaaaaacccccccccckkkkk…
    😉

    So, wow, there was a lot to catch up on.

    Welcome Cdn.~To comment on the EA/SB…sounds fantastically “fun” but def wouldn’t function after a while. You’d have no down time to yourselves and could become sick of one another quickly (even if she were to be super level headed and could properly compartmentalize both roles)…though to have a SB who happens to function in an EA capacity while on a vacay could minimize the need for a full-time staff member (maybe one who’s only needed in a home office rather than side-by-side 24/7?) Just a thought. And you could work out tax details easier when it comes to the financial side of the arrangement.

    Midwest and James~So sorry that you’ve had to bid adieu, however, it seems that the parting was a sweet sorrow. Best of luck to you both.

    Lils~aka Lil Ho…I’m down for Helsinki (and I’m NYC for 6 more weeks so lets make it happen lady!!!!) 😉

  175. CA Dreamin SB says:

    Okay – had to run an errand and just back but CDN – I have a passport and will travel! 😉 I think all of us blog ladies are lining up!

  176. Lily says:

    In finland they say Nummy instead of Yummy.

    LASB I just sent you some photos of the whole me. :) Please plan appropriate torture for a little wench like me.

    IN finnish, it’s pikku narttu (little -female dog- meant in the sweetest mammalian sense of that word, not in the mysoginistic sense)……

    lil’SB, I’m not kidding. I need a list. Then I can figure out how to fund it.

  177. cleo says:

    lily: three things, no four
    1) your charm comes through on skype AND is infections
    2) yes please to being flown in by an SD, i’ll just stay an extra while or come early yeah? i LOVE party planning and have at least one or two a year and most are hits… :) [i have learned, never throw a party between november 15 and jan 1 lol]
    3) yes he certainly seems yummy. amazing how yummy brains, manners and a zest for experience actually is huh?
    4) if you don’t email me RIGHT now and enlighten my i’mma gonna sulk and pout and i won’t even SHOW you how cute it is ;P

  178. LASB says:

    LH – Cleo can have him. I totally get how pics can lie. I was grossed out after I read your email.

    I’d tell you the “fix” but I’m going to respect that this is a PG 13 blog group. I’ll just show you in person.

  179. CdnGent says:

    Lily … OH, NOW I get it. I mis-read. Wow, no one has ever called me “nummy nummy delish” before. I’m hanging around here more often. Hell, maybe even Photogirl will put some of my upcoming destinations on her bucketlist.

  180. lil'SB says:

    o my god that’s IT I’m applying for my passport this weekend.

  181. Lily says:

    LASB, my heart skipped a beat. A sexy california Domme with her bag o tricks. Wait, I don’t even know what you look like. Let’s exchange pics via gmail!

  182. cleo says:

    cdngent it must be a cdn thing, i missed him too

  183. Lily says:

    You should see my couch. It’s humongous. Like, four people could sleep there. Yes, we soiled it. almost. Woudl have except no soiling, per se….

    My bed only got soiled via the icky weird side effect thing I told you about. Shudder. You and Cleo can have mr. baldy hottie. I’m so tired of SafetyNetSD.

  184. LASB says:

    LH – I’m in! I’ll bring the “fun” bag too! So long as customs doesn’t arrest me, I’ll be there! :) haha

  185. Lily says:

    CdnGent, I have two SDs. and two potSDs. I was just talking about YOU being a delish SD who is NOT in EUrope but i don’t need a fifth SD on my scene anyways……..

    LASB, how? More kegels and more clenching? I am already having great success with him so it’s not a big deal. but your thing is also my thing (that you emailed about) so I can’t ever really really lust for him… luckily other skills are present. You know, the ad he responded to was me advertising about being a financial Dominatrix. I think he’s sub.

    Where is SDN?

  186. Lil Ho's blog Domme says:

    OH, you are SOOOOO going back to being Lil’ Ho!! You soiled both the bed AND the couch?!!! Bad girl! hehe.

  187. Lily says:

    LASB I knew I was LH. I know what you are all about. 😉 (here I am, topping from underneath again). I’m so glad you liked my email! I could *not* have been more TMI if I would have tried.

    How many of ya’ll want to come hang in my humongous Helsinki apartment for a several-day-long meet. I’ll throw a cool party of young professionals (over a hundred of them) in your guys’ honor. Seriously. I can find the SD sponsors, that’s no issue, but I’m afraid you west coasters and all will have to fly coach or it gets WAY expensive to ask my team of SDs to fund it……..

  188. LASB says:

    Lily – for zazazoom, I think there are ways to get around that little issue. LOL.

  189. CdnGent says:

    I gotta keep up with this blog. You gals are WAY too fast for me (good in some contexts … not so good in this one however. :o)

    How did I miss the new nummy nummy delish SD from Europe? And five SDs? WOW! That’s just … well … I don’t know. LOL!

  190. Lily says:

    lil’SB, yes. Double action day yesterday. At least in two different spots. Once in my bed, once on my couch.

  191. LASB says:

    BTW, I truncate everyone’s names. If you are lil’ho, you may be LH. Mistress Midwest … became Midwest. ElegantSugar is elegant. The gents lose the gent part, except ny gent, b/c too many folks from ny My wrists and bad typing skills can’t handle the long names. Hence LASB for me. :)

  192. Lily says:

    The one you and Cleo think is amazingly hot (the bald thing doesn’t do it for me, nor the metrosexual hand gestures and amazing knowledge of art and cooking) is easy to keep straight…. he’s so unique (mr. needy safetynetguy)….

    HandsomeSD could be the love of my life. I wrote him an SMS today saying, “What got into me last night?! Besides you, I mean… Seriously, I had it all planned out to lay strict ground rules with you and to keep my emotions disengaged, and I failed on both counts. Fuck fuck fuck FUCK you!!! ” and he texted back, ” love you, too. Been very absent at work today…. distracted constantly…”

    WHatevs.

    And zazazoom? He’s mr. handsome cool get-me-anything-awesome-to-be-with ….with him, the whole SD/SB thing works perfectly. Except the thing I emailed LASB about and that’s just a minor preference issue. It still *works*….

    The Chairman……. is here in 12 hours……. for a lunch at my place to discuss networking. Yeah right!!! I am pretty god damned sure that’s not what it’s about. Arrangement negotiations time….

  193. lil'SB says:

    Nope, I’m still lurking around here! I’m really quite impressed by how many SDs you’re managing to juggle, I couldn’t picture myself with more than one at a time! What’s this I’m reading on your blog about you going for two steamy helpings in one day?!

  194. LASB says:

    Lil – Can I just say, your email was soooooooo freakin funny. It was a ray of sunshine in my day!

  195. cleo says:

    mean, just mean. can i come to halifax? *g*
    .
    lil’sb no worries
    .
    lily: hey ho *hee*

  196. Lily says:

    Yes, talking to myself. But I’m taking off the ‘Ho stuff.

    Is JC around? Still hating all human beings and debating about ‘sugar dating’ for 1000 per month because the IRS is knocking down her door`?

    How is Lisa today?

    Where is ESB and her snow shoveling aches?

    Flo Rida has been gone a few days.

    Elegant, hope your travels are going well.

    Cleo-we need to skype again. Was lovely to see your charm in live action.

  197. LASB says:

    I’m still here, LH!
    Do you ever forget which SD you said what to? How do you keep them straight?

  198. DId I scare everyone away with my arrival? I’ll be so bummed if I did. Especially this new-ish, seemingly nummy nummy delish new SD. Damn if he isn’t in Europe!!!!!

    And as if I need like a fifth SD….. 😉

  199. Lil’ Ho does sound like a rap name for Shizzle.

    I bought a couch and shelving and a million other things at Ikea. I’m happy. My friend and I drank a bottle of red wine while assembling the couch. The entry hall now looks so good! Mostly because of the small accessorizing touches.

    I did read all the mesasges i missed but found I couldn’t really contribute to all the Canadian talk. Never been. Hawaii-Tennessee-Massachusetts-Finland is all I know.

  200. CdnGent says:

    Well, now we’re back to the no EA topic aren’t we? We’ve come full circle. And yeah Cleo, I was teasing. Sorry!

    (But that doesn’t change the fact that my room on the Gold level of The Empress Hotel in Victoria isn’t waiting for me. Heehee!)

  201. lil'SB says:

    Who was it that said my screen name reminded them of a rapper?

    Lil’ho and I could be a rap team XD

    yoyo.

    (Unfortunately I’m not a big fan of rap…)

  202. LASB says:

    Cdn – Ok, where do I apply? hahahahaha

  203. LASB says:

    Lil ‘Hooooooooo! I was wondering where all the blog subbies were today. SDN did a one hitter and left.

  204. lil'SB says:

    Aww sorry, I didn’t know you were sick! Take it easy then and get lots of rest, I hope you get well soon.

    It looks like something’s going around, there’s a lot of people I know who are down with something right now. Dare I say it…could it be SF?!?!

  205. cleo says:

    lasb now he’s just teasing us

  206. LASB says:

    Cleo – hahaha. Ok, so I’m not the only one then. Oh, and it should have said *too. Typos. bleh.

  207. CdnGent says:

    Okay LASB … I’ll stop now. I also won’t tell you that I ALWAYS stay in Fairmont Gold which means food and drink anytime you want it and you’re own personal consierge. Haha!

  208. cleo says:

    lil’sb: yeah, i used to think that.

    ps will answer mail when i’m not sick and can actually meet ok?
    .
    CDN ohhh banff mmmm
    .
    LASB yeah he’s killing me a little too

  209. lil'SB says:

    LASB, actually no, I don’t drive. I just have my clear dome umbrella and a pair of colorful rain boots =)

  210. lil'SB says:

    Ooo, the only other Canadian city I’ve been to is Quebec City. It’s true, the Chateau Frontenac offers a gorgeous view of the city lights and the St. Laurence river, it’s absolutely romantic. It’s also filled with so much history and culture (very different from the rest of Canada, the quebecers are very proud of their distinct culture…).

    Random trivia: Quebec comes from the the algonquin word Kebec, meaning where the river narrows (referring to st. laurence river). I learned that from the tour guide on my last visit there =p

  211. LASB says:

    lil’SB – So then I’m guessing you drive everywhere? I think the same way due to the mode of transportation, and especially now that I don’t have to walk anywhere uncovered to get from my car to my place.

    Cdn – Stop. you are making me way to envious . 😉

  212. LASB says:

    Cleo – I believe it. Seattle has a very high suicide rate. I think a lot of it is due to vitamin D deficiency because they don’t see the sun enough. And yeah, I don’t like being wet. When I was in NYC, I was more apt to stay in during the rain than during the snow. But I didn’t have a car and was too poor to take cabs everywhere. Here, I just jump in my car and the rain isn’t a big issue.

  213. CdnGent says:

    LASB – yep, I was there a week with a beautiful king suite and a view that would knock your socks off. I’m not a big skiier though and it gets kinda boring without a town to stroll through. That’s why I prefer Banff Springs. Not as pretty a vista BUT they have a golf course and a pretty quirky and cool little village in which to hang. As for Quebec City, my Canadian fav. Was there last year in the Chateau Frontenac for a week. You simply cannot find a more impressive looking hotel than that anywhere. There’s a good reason it’s currently the most photographed hotel in the world. And the inner city … fantastic!!!

  214. lil'SB says:

    Just to jump in LASB, you know, I’d take rain over snow any day.

  215. LASB says:

    Cleo – Yay, so are you an Olympics fan too? I wanted to cry after last night’s boarder cross race. Oh well. But yeah, if you can see how bad the snow is on TV, that’s pretty horrible snow.

    Cdn – I hope that means you’re a good dancer. haha.

  216. cleo says:

    LASB in toronto (before global warming started to skew it) it’s cold, they sky is blue and the sun is shining. OR it’s gray and snowing. but it doesn’t stay gray for days and days and days

    i spent just shy of three years there, left before the next winter started because i was sure i would slash my wrists. one time, after it had been raining or drizzling for a few days, i started to count.

    thirty one days in a row with no sun and some form of precipitation.

    the damp wetness gets in your bones and stays for HOURS. the dryer cold here is eased within moments of entering a well heated home… and they ALL are in ontario :)

  217. cleo says:

    LASB i *have* a car and i want to come. assuming you can drive stick well?

    fyi the salaries in vancouver aren’t higher ENOUGH

  218. LASB says:

    Cleo – So is the cold of Toronto easier to deal with then the wet dreariness of Vancouver? Rain is not physically uncomfortable, but maybe gets depressing. I can’t handle the cold for too long. My blood is too thin and spoiled. It’s 75 today, I’ve got the windows open, and I’m pretty damn comfy.

  219. cleo says:

    CDNGent ohhhhh the east coast is ALL OVER my bucket list! and halifax is right up there.

    lol i stayed at jasper park lodge with my swim team. after junior nationals we went on a little trip and took a gondola up the mountain and did some whitewater rafting… (i got tossed in because it was my birthday [and, in retrospect, i asked for it])
    .
    lasb it’s freaking AMAZING how bad the snow looks hey?

  220. CdnGent says:

    LASB … I’m guessing we were in Whistler at the same time. Was there late winter of 2007. Seven nights and eight days and a portion of EVERY night spent on the dance floor at Buffalo Bills. Goodness, an SB with me on that trip would have been VERY disappointed with me back in the room. LOL!

  221. LASB says:

    Cdn – Wow you stayed at Lake Louise? That hotel is gorgeous!! I walked through and thought how nice it would be to wake up to that view. The hiking there is incredible, and I don’t even like hiking. Yes, Halifax is on my list. So is Quebec City. I didn’t have time last time, but maybe next time in Montreal.

  222. cleo says:

    lasb i used to live in vancouver. at the time it was heaven in the summer and drizzley misery all freaking winter. that said, if you go up the sunshine coast or more inland there’s less gray…

    everyone i know loves fernie although i haven’t been myself *yet*

  223. LASB says:

    TAZ – Do it!!! Vancouver is so beautiful. It’s expensive, but the salaries are better too. I’ve always wanted to see your country, so I did the train that goes out to Banff. After I save up a bit, I want to go back and rent a car and see everything from the road. Also, then I can stop and take photos. The train moves pretty fast. Photogirl, let me know if you want to come. :)

  224. CdnGent says:

    LASB – western Canada is awesome. I’m fortunate to have been able to stay at all the famous hotels – Chateau Lake Louise, Chateau Whistler, Fairmont Vancouver, Jasper Park Lodge and Banff Springs. However, as great as the left side of the country is, there is good to be found center and right as well. Americans would be blown away by St. John’s in Newfoundland. There is no city on the planet as friendly as that. AND for SDs the ratio of women to men is like 2:1 (no kidding … all the men have left or are at sea!) Also, Halifax is a must do. If you’re a history buff, Pier 21 is amazing as are the Titanic cemeteries and marine museums. Plus, some of the Halifax Explosion stuff will (pardon the sick pun) blow your mind. Hey … I’m in Halifax this summer!!!! Haha!

  225. LASB says:

    Yeah, the poor Olympics. That snow looks awful. Ice on top, slush on the bottom, rocks everywhere. Not a good plug for Whistler. I went in 07 and it was like that then too. I guess it’s just fickle. The vertical there is amazing, but I rented rock skis because I didn’t want to wreck mine.

  226. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:

    LASB – you have seen more of my country than I have :( I would sooo love to move out that way…

  227. LASB says:

    Cdn – I did a Canadian trip last fall. The whole western side of your country is amazing. My computer actually ran out of hard drive space from all the photos, mostly of the parks. I switched cameras as to save on space. Whistler is where I learned to race, back before they merged with Blackomb. Breathtaking views there!

  228. lil'SB says:

    BC may be temperate, but that doesn’t necessarily mean the sun shines at all times! It rains for most of the year, isn’t that right?

  229. photogirl says:

    Did someone say photos???

    LASB – Oh no…I would love to go to BC… I am up for traveling just about anywhere. But as far as my bucketlist goes… I was thinking overseas… I would LOVE to go on a safari…with camera in hand.
    Africa, Austrailia…heck everywhere!

  230. LASB says:

    Oh, I’ve stayed at the Fairmont in Vancouver. What a beautiful city!

  231. CdnGent says:

    LASB … Whistler was two years ago (awesome!) and while I’m there, the Paralympics will be going on. I’m in Victoria which is a lovely place to visit also. At least BC is temperate as the world is finding out now at the Olympics. My colleagues are golfing at Capilano where it’s nearing 15 degrees!!!

  232. CdnGent says:

    Hey LASB … thanks for the plug. In fact, BC is where I’m headed next as I indicated. And for the record, the corporate account is at Fairmont so the properties are always luxurious. Definitely nice buildings to take photos of. LMAO!

  233. LASB says:

    NYC SB – Oh puleez, Ambien is for amateurs. This stuff here… Oh, I mean, sure, whatever you need, dear. I’m here for you.

  234. LASB says:

    CdnGent – If you are staying in Whistler, I could definitely find a way to occupy myself while you are bringing home the bacon. haha. 😉

  235. NYC SB says:

    LASB – I bet you are willing to make me a drink laced with ambian too right? Just so I get a GREAT sleep… uh huh im onto you missy!

  236. LASB says:

    Photogirl – British Columbia is awesome. I’ve had a blast there! Don’t overlook it.

  237. CdnGent says:

    Photogirl … too bad! Could have been the start of a beautiful relationship. Haha!

  238. LASB says:

    LilSB – Well the US would still be the US. We would just be the Republic of California. If we were our own country, we’d be the 5th largest economy in the world. We pay a lot of federal taxes here with not a lot of benefits. We have the port, food supply, technology, and entertainment. We just need water, but we can buy that easily with all the money we save by not being in the union.

    I’ve always like the idea of the cultural mosaic as opposed to the melting pot. I was really impressed with that when I was in Toronto. It definitely helps to minimize racism, as racism is often a result of fear. If only we could just be who we are and not feel pressure to be like everyone else.

    The nationality question being annoying to me is just my own pet peeve on semantics. (Petty, I know.) Nationality refers to citizenship. My family has been in the US since the 1800s. My blood is Asian, so they are really trying to figure out my ethnicity.

  239. photogirl says:

    Most of my bucket list destinations are outside of the US and Canada… and you mentioned none of them in your post :(

  240. CdnGent says:

    Cleo…awesome! Fire away (and yes, I’ll be counting to ten!)

  241. cleo says:

    cdngent if you like i bet i could list ten blog sbs who want to travel and have a passport. hell i have dual citizenship just like lil’sb suggested italians might have :)
    .
    lasb if you get on nycsb’s computer can you email me what you find?

  242. lil'SB says:

    CdnGent, yes I think my potSD was the owner and president of his own company so he got to dictate the rules :p

  243. CdnGent says:

    Hey lil’SB … your comments about an SB being on payroll being attractive benefit could actually be a HUGE mistake. Not so bad for me because as the CEO, I could fairly easily hide it. But, all it would take is a single member of the board of directors to smell it and it would be a very bad situation indeed. In a partnership situation, if a business partner found out, that kind of fraud could lose you your share of the business. It is, as a lot of people have said, probaby not a very good idea. I think if I were independently wealthy (as I will be in ten years) an EA/SB is a perfect situation. For now, when I’m still on my upward climb not so much.

    Hey Photogirl … care to share that bucketlist? Maybe some of your would-be destinations jive with my travel schedule the next few months. LOL!

  244. lil'SB says:

    LASB – If you formed your own country, it wouldn’t be called the ‘united’ states anymore! Anyways, quebec manages to find loopholes so they can do their own thing anyways. Here people are quite proud of their nationality, and I don’t mean ‘canadian’…there’s a lot of italian pride, indian pride, chinese pride, korean pride, etc etc. Maybe it’s the understanding that they can be the same, but different (dual nationality) that helps to reconcile differences and make the ‘cultural mosaic’ work.

  245. LASB says:

    GG – Yes, I need to be closer to you so I can hijack your computer. :) Oh, you’re tired? Why don’t you go take a niiiiiiccce loooooooooonnnng nap. Oh no, I’m not up to anything. Just thinking about how you really need to catch up on your sleep.

  246. LASB says:

    Elegant – You have my dream diet. If only I could eat like that and not feel/see the effects on my body. Down the street is this steakhouse that has a happy hour with the best 1/2 lb prime burger for $6! I only let myself have it once a month. (Juicer is sitting on my counter, giving me the stink eye.)

  247. NYC SB says:

    LASB – of course you wanna be bicostal… you miss my Gossip girl ways :p

    I am beyond exhausted… I think im going to ditch class tonight and go to bed…

  248. LASB says:

    I’ve lived in California my whole life to the point where when people ask my nationality (the most ignorant question, btw) I’ll say “Californian. Can’t you tell by my accent?” All the locals and even some of the transplants want to form our own country, but it’s a losing battle. After seeing what happened with Quebec, my hopes are very low.

    Someday, though I’d love to be bi-coastal with a place in Manhattan.

  249. DC SB says:

    Photo, haha. Well, in my defense – I knew it could not have been Army, as they have no duty stations in Cali, and could not be Navy as they have none in CO – Air Force seemed probable.
    That’s pretty neat. I’ve lived all over the place myself.

  250. NC Gent says:

    Hi CdnGent — we usually stay at a hotel/spa and I left my credit card, and somehow the SB has always managed to keep herself busy during the day. A couple of times my SB has pretended to be my EA and has gone to some meetings with me… it takes a little more planning and I think the longest I was with one SB was 5 days straight (but more typically 1-3 days), but I don’t ever remember getting tired of having her around… she may have felt differently about me though :)

    IRLSD — I am the kind of person that makes friends for life – not all people are like that I know — so even though we no longer have a sugar relationship, I still am curious to know how my past SBs are doing.

    PhotoGirl — perfect timing on that last blog! :)

  251. photogirl says:

    DC SB – If I had a nickel for evertime someone asked me that I could be a sugar momma :) Very long story… I’ve been told I should write a book. But let’s just say they got bored easily.

  252. LASB says:

    CdnGent – Actually, I don’t think what you are offering is far from what most of us here are looking for. Most of us are pretty independent and would enjoy spending time in a new city, shopping and seeing the sites, while the SD is conducting business, and then meeting you for dinner and other fun activities once your workday is over. I’m sure you will find the right SB quickly. You sound like a perfect gentleman.

  253. lil'SB says:

    Oh cleo if you’re still around, I emailed you =)

  254. photogirl says:

    CDNGent – I was making a general comment 😉 I know we’ve had this discussion on the blog before and there are other ladies here that have their passports ready as well!

    I have a few places on my bucket list…

  255. DC SB says:

    Photogirl, CA, HI, NV, CO and FL.. parent in the Air Force?

  256. lil'SB says:

    CdnGent – funny thing, I’m in the GTA and the first potSD I met on SA offered me a job, not as a personal assistant (he didn’t even know what that was!) but as a graphic designer. That was simply because I was just graduating, didn’t know what I was going to do after, and he offered me the opportunity to start a complete new way of life in something I was interested in. It was VERY generous, but I had to decline because he seeking exclusivity, and I couldn’t lie and flirt behind his back and accept his offer half heartedly. I think one of the attractive things about having an SB/EA is that you can have her on your official payroll and your bookkeeper wouldn’t get suspicious as that’s what the potSD told me.

  257. CdnGent says:

    Hmmmm, all of a sudden it sounds like Photogirl is applying for a completely different position I have open. LOL! Passports are good Photogirl … keep it at the ready!

  258. photogirl says:

    IRLSD – I think you may need to start taking things a little slower with your SBs… Think things through more before you make your decisions. Not trying to offend…just my $.02

    I’d enjoy traveling some. It may be because I moved around so much as a kid(and have been in the same state now for nearly 20 yrs), lived in CA, HI, NV, CO and FL. But never outside of the US. I have a pretty flexible schedule that allows for consecutive days available to travel. Plus I am itching to put that passport to use :)

  259. CdnGent says:

    IRLSD and NCGent, thanks for the input. Valued for sure. I am an extremely busy guy when I travel with early mornings and late nights. In my mind, it would be along the lines of flying my SB in for a day or two or even one night depending on the location. She would have to be okay with pampering herself in her room or toddling off shopping and meeting me back at the room when time permits. It’s a lot to ask but it is something i’m interested in. I guess we’ll see as we go. I’ve been on the site for some time but have only just mired mysel in this blog. It may yield something a little more palatable … who knows.

  260. IRLSD says:

    My patience with SBs wears thin on trips. It’s one thing to be with someone for two hours and another to be with them for two days or more. I better know that I like them that much before I’d get myself stuck with someone for that amount of time. Done it and been burned before.

  261. IRLSD says:

    ElegantSugar, I guess it ended sourly because I got fed up with them and left. We were fine not contacting each other until they started running out of money.

    NC Gent, I am not sure how to stay friends with old SBs. Each one I have ever contacted as a friend or who has contacted me after the break-up just wanted to get back together with me. That is, with the exception of my IRL SB—we’re still great friends.

    CdnGent, my IRL SB worked for me and it was perfect but I would not hire an SB for the purpose of being an SB and then have her come to work. I contemplated it with Polish SB but I chickened out the day before she was going to start “work”. Not worth the risk. Plus, if things end, there’s unemployment and all this other BS you’re dealing with, plus the risk of sexual harassment suits and all that. Maybe you’re more civilized up north and don’t have to worry about this nonsense.

  262. photogirl says:

    haha… NCGent beat me to it!

  263. photogirl says:

    CDNGent – There are many SDs that are looking for travel companions. I am sure NCGent can agree with you that it is NOT a bad thing.

  264. sugarbarbie says:

    I have considered doing the EA to a SD thing before since I have EA experience, And the idea of having an affair with a sexy wealthy boss does sound exciting, I wouldn’t want to come into it like that. I think that would kill the fun and relaxation that this arrangement is based on. If things grew for me and my SD and we became more of a power couple however I would welcome that.

  265. NC Gent says:

    CdnGent — I love having an SB that travels with me – that is the perfect arrangement for me :)

  266. CdnGent says:

    Photogirl – thank you for the warm welcome. Have we met on the site? Hmmmm…

    I’m assuming you’re a photog, yes? What do you shoot with?

    And yes, with your comment and NC’s and Naughty’s now in the mix, I’m definitely rethinking that option. Work should be work, and play should be play. That said, I DO travel a lot on business and would LOVE an SB that can join me on the road. That’s not bad is it?

  267. photogirl says:

    oops….looks like I am from the Department of Redundancy Department today!

  268. photogirl says:

    I can confirm that Elegant’s first SD is a gentleman and is still infact a good friend to her. I can also confirm that he is a perfect gentleman and arranged for a driver for ALL of his guests during a party(to and from) that he hosted…

    Elegant – I cannot believe he sat in his car at the airport…and those nasty comments to you!!! Just glad he showed his true self sooner than later.

    CDNGent – Glad you finally decided to join us 😉

    As interesting as it sounds(stolen moments and all) having your SB working for you does seem to have some major downsides…. I am sure Flo Rida could share some wisdom on this one!

  269. NC Gent says:

    There is no way I would even consider hiring my SB — way too much downside versus the upside.

  270. Naughty Molly says:

    Hmmm, I’m on the fence about the SB at work thing. I feel that it could get complicated and distracting. I can see jealousy issues coming into play and all hell breaking loose. I don’t know, maybe not.

  271. LASB says:

    CdnGent – Yeah, the fantasy is fun, but the reality presents a lot of potential pitfalls. It can work with the right person (eg. Flo Rida) but it’s tough to tell with people. I mean, look at Elegant and how quickly that turned to salt. And she was lucky that it happened fast. Some people take a lot longer to show their true colors.

  272. CdnGent says:

    Cleo, I agree with you but that safety net would definitely have to go both ways. My job is exceptionally high profile and from a community perspective, I’m “out there” in a major way. Yes, the playing field would automatically be unfairly levelled however, a few choice words to the right people and a married boss can find himself in a LOT of hot water. Upon further reflection, perhaps not the ideal situation as fun as it sounds. I know I could trust myself but in the end, that’s ALL I can REALLY trust no? I’m not a cynic nor am I jaded … I believe in conventional wisdom and in my book, folks are basically decent. Still, it would be a big risk should something go south after a few months and someone starts shooting off their mouth.

  273. LASB says:

    On Punctuality:
    My policy is that the second I know there’s a chance I will be late, I call the other person. I don’t want them also rushing to meet me, endangering their life on the road, only to be sitting there waiting for me. If I can intercept them before they leave to see me, all the better.

    If they are running late and don’t call, I don’t wait. They get 5 minutes. One pot kept me waiting and when I called and txted, he didn’t answer. An hour later, he calls and said, “hey, why aren’t you here?” I told him, “Since it appears that your dialing finger is in tact, I don’t care how much money you’re worth. My time is too valuable to sit there without even receiving a phone call.”

    The way I see it, if you are going to be late and know it and *I* have to call you to see why you aren’t there, you are an @ss. Now, traffic happens and I get that. In fact, I was late to the NYC meet and felt like an ass, but the taxi driver drove me all over town and then could’t find the restaurant and wow did that blow. THEY get lost, and then YOU have to pay them more money. But if that had happened to an out of town pot in my city, I’d totally understand. In LA, there are very specific traffic patterns that locals don’t understand, so they are always late.

  274. NYC SB says:

    cleo – you read my mind… if i already have a job and i am giving it up to be an ea/sb he better make it worth my while

  275. NYC SB says:

    DC – sorry for blowing the cover …

    CdnG – My ex SD is my business partner but he is not heavily involved so it works fairly well … current SD offered me a job and Im still considering it as Im not sure I want to spend 17 hours a day 5 days a week working with him … so Im wondering how that blending of fun time and work time works in the long run… I guess it is easier for the SD because he can fire the SB if things go sour… however, as an SB if I get fired im kinda screwed

  276. cleo says:

    seriously there is something deliciously tantalising about stolen moments in work related settings. i think the one real issue is of the sb’s career. if someone gave up something to ea/sb you there would have to be a hell of a safety net under her to make it fair

  277. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:

    Great suggestion Cleo :) Ok really going…now….lol

  278. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:

    CdnGent – I don’t think it would be such a horrible offer but that is just me – I love to attend functions and mingle – this gentleman gave it that title so he could have his SB with him and it not be peculiar to anyone that she was around so much (he was married)…help keep track of his appointments a bit but not so much organizing events and such. To each his own and others will feel it is not for them as well. If it is for YOU, and reflects what you are seeking then definitely change your profile to make it more accurate :)

  279. cleo says:

    Flo Rida is her SD’s EA. talk to her… she’s usually here fairly often

  280. CA Dreamin SB says:

    CdnGent – My opinion: As long as you are both 1) Adults (mentally and physically) 2) Clear on the expectations on both the SB and EA side and 3) Understanding of what happens should either side (EA/SB) not work out, why not?

  281. LASB says:

    Welcome CDNGent!

    I don’t recommend the SB who is your assistant thing unless you’ve been with your SB for a while. It seems that most of the sugar relationships last from 2-6 months. Do you really want to have to retrain someone to be your assistant if things get dicey with her? Just a thought.

  282. CdnGent says:

    Interesting job offers definitely have to be considered. That’s how I ended up where I am now from my previous job as a hack. LMAO!

    And with the little bit of feedback i’ve recieved thus far, I’m beginning to think that changing my profile might be a good idea. I mean, is there a realistic chance I could blend my worktime and my playtime by hiring an SB? Has that topic been covered before?

    Comments? Suggestions? Anyone just wanna yell “Are you effin’ nuts???” at me? Hahaha!

  283. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:

    Ok I am off and running! Pleasure to meet all the newbies – hope you all stick around :)

  284. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:

    CdnGent – Lol…indeed – I think he was in his 30’s anyhow. It was an interesting job offer though lol

  285. CdnGent says:

    Taz, nope … that’s definitely not me. Whosever situation that is sounds WAY too complex for my liking. LOL!

  286. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:

    Mommy? Lol..can you tell my daughter just got home sheeesh 😛 Naughty Molly lmao

  287. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:

    CdnGent – do you happen to have an assistant that is now married and not your assistant anymore?…but still works for you on another level in your business?

    AM!! How are you sweetie? Yes name change for sure! I kinda like Naughty Mommy though 😉

  288. CdnGent says:

    Hi Naughty!

  289. NYC SB says:

    I think in NYC you cant really get away with requesting an SD sends a driver…. he should offer to pay for my cab fare though.

  290. sugarbarbie says:

    Hello Sugars!
    Just got all caught up. Love the driver idea hehe. going in my notes.

    Poof daddy just wrote and said sorry he woke up with a stomach virus and couldn’t contact me in time. hmmm? He knew what my schedule was like and how very little sleep i got sooo annoyed. Just gonna let it go and move on.

  291. Naughty Molly says:

    Hi CDN! 😀

  292. Naughty Molly says:

    I could just stay Naughty Molly or Alluring Anna…what do you guys think? Should I make a name change? Don’t want to cause confusion 😀

    Welcome AM #2….LOL. 😀

  293. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:

    Madrid – I am not too worried about my profile – just making some changes in my life – all good things :)

    CdnGent – I am not sure if I know you to be honest lol…perhaps it will be a mystery lol

    Question – if I link my profile here on the blog – which it is linked on my other computer 😛 does it show up even though it is hidden on SA? I would assume it would..just curious though lol

  294. DC SB says:

    Madrid, a couple of years!? Wow.. I give you props on sticking with it.
    PS are you actually in Madrid? I lived there por un rato =)

  295. AnnaMadrid says:

    TT-I’ve been on this site for maybe a couple of years.. I gave it a rest for awhile, then decided I should prob. delete it since I wasn’t getting anywhere and then outa no-where my now SD sends me a message! Thanks for the welcome, I’m sure your profile will come together beautifully!

    Thanks NCGent!
    If anyone has any tips for me that would be great!

  296. cleo says:

    CdnGent it sounds like an amazing opportunity. lots of travel, getting to throw high end events, smart people to mingle with, being a 2ic (thing i am very best at in the world. makes my dad nuts, says i should lead – doesn’t understand that being a great second can be better or as rewarding at least – not his fault, he is the one who molded me this way :), marketing events people want to attend, having someone else’s files to peruse for suggestions, getting to stop wearing yoga clothes to work [no one can imagine how tedious this gets, i want to wear SHOES!]… man.

    i think i want to pitch to be your EA

  297. CdnGent says:

    Taz, et. al.

    CdnGent is 41 in real life but only 39 in his head. LMAO! I’m a Cancer so I’ll be 42 in a few months and beginning to roll rapidly downhill in a few years.

  298. NC Gent says:

    Welcome to the blog AnnaMadrid, and congrats on finding a real SD!

  299. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:

    Hey Madrid – ok two different sb’s 😛 So happy to hear about your SD :) Haha I was searching for a few months actually..now my profile is hidden while I re-structure my life lol…sorry had to use that reference as it fits so well..took it from a few posts up CdnGent…anyhow welcome to the fam 😀

  300. AnnaMadrid says:

    Nope AnnaMadrid is AnnaMadrid:) Sorry for the confusion. I couldn’t think of a name last night I was so excited so I just came up with my fav. city.

  301. LASB says:

    Catching up still, but just read the sad news.

    Midwest and James – You are two very classy people and I wish you all the best.

    I hope things turn around for you James.

    Midwest, I’m sure you won’t be sans SD for long! Some lucky man is going to snatch you up.

  302. CdnGent says:

    Hmmmm, Taz … now you REALLY have me curious. There are a good number of women who I would have loved to meet but ultimately it just didn’t work out. Timing is so important when two people are in ‘discovery mode’ … so who knows, it COULD be me. So if you’re a little further away, I’m guessing London. KW is an hour and Windsor is three. Not much else in between. Besides, there are a LOT of women on the site from London. Always is in a university town.

  303. NC Gent says:

    Kristina – although I see your point, I think many of my SBs would have found it impersonal if I sent a driver to pick them up rather than having me show up. Therefore, I don’t think it necessarily means the SD is cheap or that it should be viewed as a warning sign. I would be interested to hear other SD/SBs perspective on it.

  304. AnnaMadrid says:

    Hey TT! I’m doing well. Last night was my first post ever!! I have a sugar daddy now.. A real one(realer than the others anyway). How are you?

  305. midwest says:

    I had no clue what he meant by EA either ;-). A few guesses: exceptional ass(et), easy access…perhaps I should stop.

  306. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:

    Ok – hold up a minute – two AM’s now?? Is Anna Molly aka AnnaMadrid? Oh I am confused lol…maybe I will go back into lurk mode 😛

  307. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:

    Hey AM – how are you sugar?? :)

  308. DC SB says:

    Elegant, I agree.. I think it’s rather stupid people nit pick over secretary as well. As impressive as my job sounds, I was not about to put it on SA. And I had no qualms with attracting attention from the right types of SDs by listing secretary.
    (I think in hindsight I listed “assistant” which sounds like something I might have put).

  309. ElegantSugar says:

    Seriously. A driver is $120 max? And a DUI is $5,000 MIN? Some people view it as high maintenance to request such a thing, but that isn’t the case. I have a local personal driver stored on my phone that will take me anywhere for a flat rate of $60. So worth it.

  310. AnnaMadrid says:

    Hey guys!! How’s everyone doing??? Sleep well last night?

  311. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:

    CndGent – how old are you…if I am not being too forward here?

  312. Kristina says:

    Elegant: I am glad you agree because most dates do involve some drinking and I would prefer to have a driver instead of drunk driving. If a POT will not offer a driver then he is just not a real SD to me . If you ask for a driver and he says he can just come and pick you up, that is just cheap and a warning sign. Chances are he will be drinking and plans on driving you home ? No thanks !

  313. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:

    CdnGent – I am west of GTA as well…more than 1 hour though 😛 I tried a few sites…the non sugar ones were interesting since I had a very very to the point no bullshit profile – it actually seemed to be appreciated by those I spoke with. However the sites gods did not like my forwardness and they ended up deleting it. I never met this gentleman in person – just chatted and emailed for a couple weeks and then timing was just bad…

  314. ElegantSugar says:

    DC – it is comical to me how some people are offended by the title, “secretary” these days. It’s like flight attendants ARE NOT airline stewardesses. Heaven forbid.

  315. CdnGent says:

    Cleo … it actually would be a good job. Truth be told, I’m doing a little restructuring at the moment (at GREAT expense) and I’m getting rid of at least one lifelong employee. So the EA job would actually be married with my event planner’s position. The job split would be about 40/60 so while the person wasn’t bringing coffee into my office in a very snug skirt (LMAO) she would be coordinating high profile events, marketing and attending functions in and around my area. I’d probably let a go-getter out into the world to attend a few conferences also. So yes, a good gig for sure.

  316. DC SB says:

    Elegant, I typically speaking don’t even mention I work gvt.. But that’s about all own up to as well. On my SA profile I said I was some generic occupation like “secretary” or something to that effect, I can’t remember exactly what.

  317. ElegantSugar says:

    LASB in the hizzouse!! Ha ha. Hello, my dim sum girl.

  318. CdnGent says:

    Taz, I don’t think the suggestion of Niagara Falls is a bad idea. Better yet, Niagara on the Lake. I LOVE the inns down there. Give me the chef from Queen’s Landing ANYDAY! (Plus, I know the event manager down there and she could set us up. Haha!) But on a more serious note, yes … I wouldn’t suggest a meeting on Canadian soil until you could actually put a shovel into it. May is nice enough. Good golf courses in Niagara also. Could have a mini SD/SB golf tournament. Now THAT would be fun.

    And you have me curious … what other sites are we talking about here? I HAVE been on others, I’m just on not others at the moment. I’m assuming from your comments that the man you THINK I may be is someone you have met in person?

    I won’t be too specific on my whereabouts but suffice it to say, I’m west of the GTA by about, oh, an hour.

  319. LASB says:

    Hi Sugars. I’m late to the party. Working too much. Bleh.

    Lil’Ho – That was a total typo. Should have read WM seeking BF. Now it should make more sense.

    Ok, I’m going to catch up on the blog now.

  320. cleo says:

    CdnGent according to my friends at the Strategic Coach ‘free days’ make you more productive. if your EA doesn’t get that she’s not right for you.

    i have to say, that’s the kind of job that would tempt me right out of self employment

  321. ElegantSugar says:

    Kristina – I love it. I actually have had SDs offer drivers or limo service so I could enjoy wine and not worry about having to drive. It’s a sweet deal.

  322. ElegantSugar says:

    DC – I know the XO term because in another lifetime, I was involved with the government. I will not admit or deny in what way I was involved though.

  323. Kristina says:

    Ladies: You should have the sd send for a limo ride to meet him so that for sure he knows you are on the way and will make the date. Problem solved !

  324. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:

    CdnGent – well then it is not you – and I surely take back all the nice things I just said lmao! I checked out some other sites a couple months ago – sugar and non sugar and ended up coming back this way…now my profile is hidden…I am sure you do not want to be tooooo specific about your location but nice to know there are SD’s down this way that are REAL :) If there were more in the sugar bowl this way – I would suggest a meet closer to u.s/canadian border…somehow I think it would just end up being us 😛

  325. cleo says:

    i thought it meant electronic assistant like a pda

    CdnGent re the exec assistant call a temp agency in the meantime. i used to temp for some people from downtown and i found that generally the quality is good with the more executive oriented temp agencies

    as for an sb, most of the ladies on the blog are fantastic. hang out for a while and see who you end up wanting to meet.

    also we’re discussing a toronto meet but everyone thinks toronto is scary in the winter and wants to wait for spring

    [i actually got a cell phone a week ago but you know, i took liberties for the sake of debate – that said, i told people i didn’t have one and what i would do if something happened so they knew]

  326. DC SB says:

    Elegant that’s actually what XO means in government! I was just lying about the Exec Officer thing to make it sound more legit than it really is.

    Haha. I’m kidding =)

  327. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:

    CdnGent – welllllll – I *could* give you the email address, however if that was not you then that would just be wrong. *If* it is you…then I should tell all of the wonderful SB’s here that you are a gentleman and very nice :) I just got wrapped up in life…hmmm not sure what I can ask to verify 😛 Are you on SA – or any other sites – sugar or non sugar???

  328. DC SB says:

    Hahaha. Cdn, I guess that would make you a “CXO” (although we don’t have those in gvt so you could launch a new term and copyright it).
    Although, I might tell my SD first.. but maybe if you kept it in Canada you two could share.

  329. CdnGent says:

    Taz, you must be mistaken as I’m not on another site at the moment. Would I have not met you on SA?

  330. ElegantSugar says:

    DC – I am familiar with the military term, XO! XO can also mean Xanthine oxidase, an enzyme that catalyzes the oxidation of hypoxanthine to xanthine. But who cares about that…

  331. CdnGent says:

    Hmmm … dunno Taz. Any clues?

    DC – I like XO too. So does that make me a CXO? Sounds like an airport identifer somewhere in Colorado perhaps.

  332. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:

    Cdn Gent – although I will clarify in that the SD I was speaking with was not met on SA.

  333. DC SB says:

    NYC you’re ruining everything. I told everyone I had locked you into my basement after the meet and refused to let you come out.

  334. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:

    Oh wow Cdn Gent – I am from Southern Ont too…looking for an executive assistant huh? Methinks perhaps you and I have spoken before?? If not…excuse my error 😛

  335. CA Dreamin SB says:

    Darnit!!! Yet another job I’m not going to get!!! 😛

  336. DC SB says:

    So anyway, I said.. what’s an EA.. and voila. So I was only recently schooled myself.
    But I prefer XA and XO. (Sounds way cooler) =)

  337. CdnGent says:

    CA … LOL! Were it only that the job could be done remotely. Unfortunately the nature of the work is very hands on and interpersonal. The right person would unfortunately have to travel (yes, with me) and attend countless boring meetings and community events. I could fly you in week to week but you’d blow through my budget doing that in about, oh, three weeks. That would leave me with 49 without. Tempting, but …

  338. DC SB says:

    ^ meant to write that to CA Dreamin =)

  339. DC SB says:

    Well I only know that because my SD is looking for an EA as well..
    In government we call “EA”s XA (Exec Asst.. Ex A, get it? Ha ha, Not really). And XOs are executive officers.

  340. NYC SB says:

    Hello sugars!

    you have been busy on the blog while i was being a good student these past few days… and what an amazing experience this has been for me… NYSE has redeemed himself (almost) fully

    I am lacking sleep like no other… last night was a long long long night (non sugar related)… had one too many huricanes and now i have a massive hangover

  341. CdnGent says:

    I’m in southern Ontario … although over the next few months I’m in British Columbia, Chicago, Ottawa, Chicago and Halifax, NS. By then, maybe I’ll be able to golf and won’t care so much for an EA keeping track of me. Nothing worse than trying to make it sound like you’re hard at work when some idiot yells “fore” or revs the golf cart in the background. Geezus!

  342. CA Dreamin SB says:

    Well DC, I was trying to think of a sugar related explanation for EA, not the obvious!

  343. CA Dreamin SB says:

    I’ve been interviewing left and right for Exec Assistant jobs and have had many many interviews, and it gets down to me and one other person and the other person gets the job! Annoying.

    SO, CdnGent – I’m an EXCELLENT EA (if you’re willing to have someone remote do the job) 😉

  344. CdnGent says:

    TT – new to the Blog but sure the name is familiar. I wasn’t being overly creative when I logged in for the first time. If I want to, can I change it?

  345. DC SB says:

    EA would be executive assistant in my book, also considering he said send apps directly to him as he’s without an EA.

  346. DC SB says:

    Cdn where are you located?

  347. NC Gent says:

    Glad someone else asked what EA is… I was thinking exclusive arrangement or excellent alternative…

  348. CdnGent says:

    EA = executive assistant.

    In other words, keep my freakin’ schedule and don’t double book or miss appointments. It’s been a rough several months and the rest of my staff, while good people, just aren’t cut from that cloth. Problem is, I’m WAY too busy right now to properly hire. Six more weeks of madness and it will calm down into spring and perhaps I can find my girl.

    (Yes, GIRL … the thought of a male EA kinda creeps me out. Unless he’s gay and can redecorate the office and give me good tips on shirt and tie combos!)

  349. CdnGent says:

    Damn … excuse the typos everyone. I pride myself on clean copy but the fingers just don’t seem to be working today for some reason.

  350. CA Dreamin SB says:

    CdnGent – I’m sorry I’m clueless apparently – what is EA?

  351. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:

    CndGent – have you been on the blog before? Your name looks familiar..either way welcome ~or~ welcome back :)

  352. CdnGent says:

    MommaPoppins (cool name, BTW) … thanks for your support. Newbies never quite know when and how to jump in but I like the discussions here and I feel I have some perspective to bring.

    That said (and I may regret confessing this) not only am I without an EA at the moment, but I’m also without an SB. I’ve met some womderful people but for various reasons, nothing has stuck.

    Applications are currently being accepted. You’ll have to send them to me (remember, no EA!) Ha!

  353. ElegantSugar says:

    That was supposed to be BCSD (BadChoiceSD). I am dyslexic today. Oy.

  354. ElegantSugar says:

    CdnGent – YES. I couldn’t believe it. When we got into our argument later that evening, I even mentioned it and he accused me of being a spoiled little Princess. My gosh. My other SDs have had drivers waiting for me or they were there at baggage claim to help…so pardon me if that is being spoiled, right? This BDSC said he thought I could handle it since I am such an independent woman. Independent or not, I am STILL a woman. I think my jaw dropped when the trunk opened and he stayed in the car.

  355. DC SB says:

    Cleo, it’s quite alright. I didn’t think that at all.

  356. CA Dreamin SB says:

    P90X – just started yesterday!

  357. ElegantSugar says:

    Thank you, DC, for everything you just expressed. So true. Bigger and better sugars ahead!

    CA Dreamin – I should not be having this horrible food, especially after my Waffle House binge last week! But, it is my comfort right now. I have a rule that when I give in to the temptation of bad food like this, I work out an extra 30 min to an hour during my next workout. I can’t say enough about how pilates and kettlebells have improved my overall physique! I look and feel great. P90X is also awesome!

  358. CdnGent says:

    DC … of course, that point wasn’t lost on me. If the lines of communication are open and I’m keeping someone updated as to my status, I will hope they’ll understand that with traffic and a CEO’s schedule, some leeway is necessary. Five mins late and I may simply run in and apologize for being a little tardy. Any longer and you will have had a message from me explaining the situation and giving you my ETA. At least then an informed decision can be made. I understand that time is valuable for everyone.

    Elegant – he just popped the trunk and didn’t get out to put your bags in? OMG, that’s HORRIBLY disrespectful.

    I’ll say it again … whatever happened to chivalry? I’m a pretty modern guy and if a woman wants to go dutch or take ME out, I’ll let her. Heck, that would be a nice switch. But beyond that, I still open the car door for a woman. And yes, I was doing that BEFORE my young daughter came along. (Although she’s my favourite gal to open a door for!)

  359. cleo says:

    CDNGent i’m with CaDreamin and hope you stick around

  360. mommapoppins says:

    CdnGent- I agree with CA Dreamin, the more you post the better you sound! Your SB is a lucky woman to have a SD like you.

  361. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:

    No worries Elegant – wow – what an ass! Just happy you found out NOW – not later. Everything for a reason – always a higher purpose just have to SEE it..sometimes that is not until much later…however I am sure he is a very insecure boy and just projected that onto you through putting you down and making you feel badly. HE is not happy with HIMSELF. I know you have to go through the motions with this – but keep that in mind. You did nothing wrong at all – you were honest and mature…as I said better now…I am sorry for the hurt you are feeling hun :(

  362. cleo says:

    dc sb you know i reread that and realised it seemed like i was calling you an ass. i’m really not okay? i actually think you’re awesome and was just enjoying the discussion

  363. midwest says:

    Elegant- I know its frustrating, but thanks for letting us learn from your experience. It sucks that he thought it was ok to treat you this way. It does offer some insights to attitudes towards how much we share during our search and red flags that arise. He NEVER deserved your consideration!

  364. DC SB says:

    Elegant, he sounds ridiculously terrible. All in all I would say that that entire trip was his way of “punishing” you so to speak- like maybe the entire time he was slowly losing his cool but managed to keep it all together just so he could fly you in and act like a 2 year old.
    Either way, imagine his poor wife, sucks to be her. Haha.

  365. DC SB says:

    Cdn I agree w/ you on meeting the SB not the other way around. I stated that above ^
    And, I also stated earlier, if there is NO excuse for being late (ie 10 minutes beforehand saying, hey I’m running late) – yes, with NO call/text/email I will leave.
    No one is quite getting that part.
    If you say you’re in a meeting, fab, I will wait. If not? Nope. I’m not going to sit twiddling my thumbs wondering.
    Not my style.

  366. CA Dreamin SB says:

    CdnGent, every post you write I like you more and more :)

    Elegant – If I were with you I’d be having a milkshake and burger too! I SO want one but I am determined to lose 7 lbs in the next 6 weeks!

  367. DC SB says:

    Elegant, I can totally see how that might present a problem for him – but he was just highly insecure. Rather than being like, wow she chose ME, that makes me feel exceptional, he let his insecurities eat away at him. How lame.
    But I’m glad you found out sooner rather than later so you could move on to bigger and better sugars =)

    Cleo, while still sugar searching I would NEVER meet in a location unfamiliar to me. That is my personal choice. I picked places that I knew like the back of my hand.
    So, it’s hard for me to imagine that situation, however if someone ELSE, not myself, decided to do that, then their reaction would be their reaction and not mine.
    My reaction, given the rules I set for myself would never put me in that situation, so yes, I expect them to be on time. And if they aren’t, it’s not my loss.. there will always be plenty of fish in the sea. I have never had a problem meeting, landing, or keeping men.
    You have your life, I have mine. And yes, 5 minutes is my thing.. no need to get bent out of shape over it or criticize me for it. If it’s such a problem I would probably not have an SD, but I do – and he showed up an hour early for our date because he chose to, not because I expected it.

  368. CdnGent says:

    Good day all!

    I agree with Cleo on this one. Being on time is extremely important especially for a first meeting. That said, I can have upwards of 8 meetings in a single day and (at the moment) am sans EA. A glitch of a couple minutes early in my day can set me back several minutes come the end.

    I do like to have a way to contact someone I’m meeting to keep them properly updated. I think that ability to connect easily is appreciated and I know I appreciate it. I live and die by text messaging in business anymore. BlackBerry IM is even better. Cleo, I would really recommend the basic ability to communicate remotely.

    I have been as much as 30 mins late to a meeting but ALWAYS keep the person I’m meeting up to date. I HATE knowing that a woman is sitting at a bar waiting for me. I will do whatever I have to in order to avoid that. I’ve even called to a bar and told the bartender the situation and he has made sure that my friend is comfortable and not unduly hit on.

    Leaving after 5 mins is too soon. Cleo’s right … timepieces alone can create 5 minute gaps. I get my time from my BlackBerry, watch, computer, car, GPS, and the radio station i’m listening to. They are not all pefectly synched. Frankly, the way my schedule is, if I get to a meeting 10 minutes late, I consider myself on time. LOL!

    Without hearing from someone, I’d leave after 20 minutes and might even sit in the car another 10 “just in case”. However, if I know my ‘date’ has a way to communicate, I expect an update very shortly after the determined meeting time.

    And by the way, location has nothing to do with it although I’ve never understood why a pot SB would accept travelling to a pot SD for a first meeting (unless it’s a more orchestrated weekend away or something). If I want to meet you, I’ll make the effort to come to YOUR backyard for your comfort and convenience. That’s just simply being a gentleman. Goodness, whatever happened to chivalry?

  369. ElegantSugar says:

    More bad things they came out about BCSD while on this trip (I’m venting now…sorry. Drunk on milkshake and about to go into a burger coma on top of that!)

    He admitted that he HATED (he used the word HATED, a word that is not in my vocabulary) that I was still friends with my last 2 SDs. He told me they weren’t “real” relationships since they only each lasted 6 months that I was kidding myself if I thought they really were just my friends. (photogirl met my first SD in person and I think she can confirm we are only friends without ulterior motives on either side).

    He only popped the trunk when I arrived at the airport, didn’t even get out of the car and I had to hoist the 50 pound bag into the trunk myself. He walked ahead of me and didn’t open doors and then complained about how much my airline ticket was since I waited so long to “make my decision.”

    It was like I was with an entirely different person than the one that came to my city for 2 days and then even met me in another city where I was on business. Totally different person.

    I admit to being horribly and wildly imperfect as a person; we all are. But one thing I try to do is be very authentic at all times and I am mostly disgusted at how fake this guy was in the beginning just to win me over.

    I will stop venting now. Thanks for ‘listening’.

  370. cleo says:

    dc sb if you were having a first meet at a place unfamiliar to you both and in between you would you still leave after five minutes?

    are the rules different if it’s near your house? near his?

    just saying, if i drive an hour to meet you and am 8 minutes late due to construction and you leave i’m going to think you’re an a**. and this coming from someone who is paid by the hour and is pathologically on time.

    5 minutes is fair i guess but it’s so tight that just unsynchronized timepieces will do it. and heck i set my tv off the cable company and my phones off the phone company data and my car off the atomic clock and there is about 4 minutes between first and last there.

    i agree with all of you about first impressions but five minutes? i would give anyone ten minutes even if it were a candidate for a job. would they have a hole to get out of? sure. would i hold it against them forever like BCSD? frig no

  371. ElegantSugar says:

    I always make it a point to be on time or even early for all first meetings! In fact, if it is a Happy Hour kind of 1st meet, I will ask the pot SD what his drink preference is “in case I beat him there.” It’s a nice touch to have their drink waiting for them (as long as it isn’t something on the rocks and they are running late) and with reds, they can breathe and be near perfect for them!

  372. DC SB says:

    Oh, and.. yes, for the 1st meeting being on time is pivotal. Now that I’m with my SD, if either of us is late, it’s really no big deal.
    I should have clarified, I was referring to a first meeting.

  373. ElegantSugar says:

    DC – Well, as we all know, hindsight IS 20/20.

    As I reflected on the entire experience and tried to understand how things went from so sweet to absolutely rancid, I did recall some red flags that I overlooked. There were actually a few. In the beginning, I even mentioned to one blog friend that I communicate with offline some of my hesitations with him. He and I even talked about my reservations and discussed them in-depth. He was very good at putting my mind at ease about the concerns I brought up. And although he claimed to being understanding while I was trying to make a selection over other pots, he threw it in my face several times under his breath in such a rude way that displayed a jealous/possessive side. For example, after picking me up from the airport, I was texting my brother to let him know I arrived safely (even though he didn’t know why I was traveling) and the BadChoiceSD (BCSD) said, “Oh, what are you doing? Texting one of your OTHER men?! Ha ha.” He kept making comments like that all night at the most strangest moments. My dad always told me, most truths be told in jest so I started realizing he was really bothered with my process and even though he was the one I selected, something about it bothered him greatly and he couldn’t let it go. I thought being honest was the best thing and my other pot SDs have always been appreciative of my honesty.

    Anway…those were just some of the bad things…there was so much more in a short 24 hour period. Just horrible. (and embarrassing)

  374. DC SB says:

    Cleo, not really sure what we’re referring to.. an SD telling you to meet him by his office than still leaving after you were late to arrive? Or is this a hypothetical situation?

    If it’s hypothetical.. the pot SD should be coming to the pot SB anyway. That’s what a true gentleman would do (just my opinion).

  375. NC Gent says:

    For the first meeting, I think it is very important to be on time, but after that, I am more flexible. Even for a first date, if you let me know that you are running late BEFORE we are supposed to meet, I don’t really care. I do believe the first impression that someone tries to make says a lot about how serious they are — maybe I am wrong, but it works for me.

  376. mommapoppins says:

    I agree with cleo, if you are in his local and on time so should he

  377. cleo says:

    dc sb if we are meeting ‘in the middle’ and it’s a place unfamiliar to us i’m a lot nicer than if we are meeting ‘near your office’ at your local

  378. DC SB says:

    Elegant, what exactly set him off? If he was so kind, caring, patient beforehand – what was the catalyst? You haven’t really told us, just that he turned on a light switch and became a crying toddler.
    And in hindsight did you see any red flags for whatever had caused him to turn into such a complete jerk?

  379. DC SB says:

    **15 min before the agreed upon meet up time, that we were going to be late.

  380. DC SB says:

    Now *cough* The NYC SBs were very accomodating for my SD and I running *ahem* “late” hahaha.. but I did let them know about 15 min before we were scheduled to arrive.

  381. ElegantSugar says:

    Speaking of dining alone…

    I am at the airport now and it hit me while I was in the security line how disappointed I am over my sugar selection going so, so sour. Even though in the end, I met an amazing man (of whom I’m not sure I will continue seeing for various reasons *old blog news*), I am extremely upset that I was so very wrong in my choice. Absolutely upset in the way he treated me, how he didn’t care if I was stranded and just his absolute lack of being a gentleman. I can’t wait to get home, shake this whole experience off, learn from it and sort everything out for my next steps.

    I am now drowning my sorrows (alone) at Johnny Rockets. A greasy Patty Melt (which I NEVER indulge in), thick cut fries with extra mayo and ketchup, and a large chocolate milkshake. SALUTE.

    “Scar tissue is stronger than regular tissue. Realize the strength, move on.” -” Henry Rollins

  382. DC SB says:

    Am I the only one who is exceptionally rigid about time? I leave after 5 minutes. I start the countdown and leave. Sometimes I text to say, and I waited 5 minutes and left, other times I don’t.
    I mean……. unless someone texts me well in advance they’re going to be late (ie has an excuse), there is no excuse for not showing up on time.

    But that’s just me. =) & maybe even this guy.. who knows. But we do exist.

  383. mommapoppins says:

    Hey there midwest! Glad to hear that things went well

  384. midwest says:

    Just a little introspection- my first experience as an sb has been exceptiional thanks to James. He is kind, generous, respectful and has many hidden talents :-). In addition, part of our success is a reflection of the amazing advice and feedback that comes from this blog. We were both new and this made it a very positive experience. Thanks to all.

  385. mommapoppins says:

    So, whats the discussion about today?

  386. cleo says:

    lily i kind of think it’s my town… i mean i have a fantastic hair flip and everything… and i’m a master ofl leaning on a man to talk into his ear and stuff…

    i’m naturally flirtatious but have a feeling it’s a friendly flirty rather than a sexy one … i need to sex it up without tramping it up

  387. sugarbarbie says:

    sorry for the typos above

  388. sugarbarbie says:

    Thank you to everyone that replied and offered advice. I think he was a poof daddy too :( My goal was to get there early, kinda glad I didn’t.
    I just did a search and sent some messages so hopefully one will pan out. Also received a message from a guy that simply asked i I was open to black men. I replied and he read it but didn’t reply back. I would say he probably just got busy but I am almost certain the same exact thing happened a while ago with this guy when I first joined the site. By time will tell, and the hunt goes on. I got crushed last night by a POT I thought was “the one” and now a poof daddy the next morning. My spirits are kind of low, going to take it out on the stair master. :)

    I am also sorry to hear about James and Midwest. I haven’t had a chance to really make your acquaintance but my heart goes out to you. I hope things turn around quickly for you both.

  389. CA Dreamin SB says:

    Hi Taz – I’m with you – I’m so lazy today and have no idea why. Just can’t get motivated to do anythiing this morning :)

  390. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:

    Midwest and james – sorry to hear about the situation. I am happy to see the two of you are so mature and warm enough to treat each other with such dignity. A standard we should all follow.

    Hi NYGent – long time no talk! How are things??

    Hi Dreamin and PG, cleo and anyone else? Too lazy to scroll back up 😛

  391. mommapoppins says:

    Good morning everyone! How is the day going?

  392. Off to go furniture shopping but I just wanted to say that I’m sorry for Midwest and James not being able to continue with an obviously lovely sugar relationship but luckily the friendship isn’t at risk of failing. THat’s even more important.

    Cleo, I have no idea! You need to take Flirting 101 or something? We need to video conference more often and show me your best flirty faces/voices so I can see if they turn *me* on at least. 😉

  393. CA Dreamin SB says:

    Morning all!

    Midwest & James… :( So sorry! You two are both wonderful.

  394. midwest says:

    NYGent- I have no problem having dinner alone or passing time between plans at a nice restaurant bar over a cocktail. I frequently make new business or personal acquaintances. Dinner home alone is a missed opportunity!

  395. cleo says:

    nygent one time i had a date at a wine bar and he didn’t show up so after ten minutes i shrugged and ordered a glass of wine. chose not to stay for dinner because who can afford that but i had been in class for two days straight (workshop with a master teacher) and the glass seemed a nice way to unwind

    as i gathered my coat half an hour after our appointed meeting time he rushed in all apologetic. since i knew he had been at an end of conference party i let it go. also i don’t have a cell so he couldn’t have texted me.

    we had a great dinner, drank a bunch and then i never heard from him again when i went home at one thirty am after declining his invite to ‘hang out’ at his hotel.

    i’m drunk buddy, not stupid.

    that said, i seem to have an incredible gift for turning men i want into friends. for men i want NOT BELIEVING when i tell them straight up that i’m hot for them [actual words “come on, you weren’t hot for me” when i was wriggling in my chair]

    so what is it? what turns a great date into the friend zone instead of the sex zone? because lately all i get is friends so i’m starting to think it’s something that i do…

    so really, y’all know me pretty well, let me have it (be gentle, but do be honest)

  396. NYGent says:

    sugarbarbie: I also think he poofed, but even if he showed up adn left, 10 minutes is far too short a time to wait. I would expect a text or something if you were going to be 15 minutes late or more, but 10 I would just chalk up to traffic, late start, whatever and think nothing of it.

    I am at the other extreme and have personally waited unreasonable amounts of time waiting for someone to show, and on a number of occasions they never did, even when it was dinner at a nice place. On some of those occasions I just left. Sometimes I stayed for dinner myself, figuring it’s a nice place, I’m here, what the hell may as well get some enjoyment out of it. (easier for a guy to do, perhaps, than a lady). In a majority of cases where I was completely stood up I actually gave the SB a second chance (usually regretted it, none ever went anywhere). While I don’t like getting flaked on (nobody does), it is just inevitable to a certain extent on this site so i try not to sweat it too much, and on to the next.

  397. midwest says:

    Elegant- you are welcome to share insights on the blog. Your wisdom should be shared.

  398. NC Gent says:

    Thankfully, I have remained friends with all of my past SBs. I guess I am fortunate in that way, but I avoid conflict whenever possible.

  399. JSO-TXSD says:

    elegentsugger – just making a little joke

  400. Chitown SB says:

    James and Midwest, while I have only just recently made your acquaintance from a distance here on the blog, I wish you all the best. You two are the pinnacle of what a sugar relationship should be… even when it comes to a close. The respect and mutual caring you share is both heartwarming and inspirational.

  401. ElegantSugar says:

    JSO – I thought we were already friends? :)

  402. ElegantSugar says:

    I’m still here, JSO! Just waiting on a cab to get to the airport. Then if the site isn’t blocked, (as it has been for 3 other airports, I will more than likely be back on while sitting at my gate.

  403. JSO-TXSD says:

    elegentsuger – I will be your friend…lol

  404. JSO-TXSD says:

    man I type one thing on the blog and I clear it.

  405. ElegantSugar says:

    IRLSD – I guess both of those relationships ended sourly then? My 2nd SD and I have considered and discussed giving things another try. But things didn’t end sourly for us and we have stayed in touch and remained friends.

  406. NYGent says:

    Midwest and James: very sorry to hear but your swan song message was elegant. Wish you both the best.

  407. JSO-TXSD says:

    midwest and james. I am so sorry to here about this.
    James hopefully things will get better
    praying for both of you. ya’ll are a great couple

  408. IRLSD says:

    Sugarbarbie, my guess is that he wasn’t there also. No one leaves in less than 10 minutes. I am as impatient as they get, so an SB gets major points for being on time. 10 minutes would be OK as long as it is not a habit.

    My old SB pair has been begging like crazy to get me back, but the main issue with them was punctuality. Yesterday I told them not a chance I’d get back with them and got 10 texts back about how they are crying, how they want to make it up to me, how they took some sexy pictures just for me, etc, etc…

  409. cleo says:

    elegant i wouldn’t want a sugar relationship to end any other way.

  410. IRLSD says:

    Midwest and James, I’m sorry to hear that :(

  411. ElegantSugar says:

    Midwest – I will be happy to provide feedback on your profile. I have your email if you prefer I take it off the blog.

    On the note of parting so sweetly with a SD you care for, if handled the right way (as it seems you two are), it really can be a wonderful renewal. My first SD was involved with the selection of my 2nd SD somewhat. He cared for me and wanted me to be happy and find someone who would reciprocate in the ways he knew I was deserving of. Ultimately, it was my final decision, but he was right there to discuss new pots with me, be an ear and a sound voice for pros and cons. We are still wonderful friends.

  412. midwest says:

    Good morning all! Thank you for your support and understanding. We are in agreement that my search will be renewed. Hugs to everyone.

    Elegant – Thanks for the compliment! Any feedback you would like to share on the content would be greatly appreciated.

  413. ElegantSugar says:

    What a gracious letter from Midwest and James.M. I have not met either one of you, but have corresponded with both via this blog and you two definitely seem to be wonderful people with your heads on right and a genuine caring for one another. Thank you for so eloquently letting us know your current situation. I wish you both the best. Midwest – I love the photo on your profile.

  414. cleo says:

    jamesmi oh no i’m so sorry to hear about your business, are a lot of people affected? i hope you can salvage something!
    .
    james AND midwest: bummer, your genuine liking of and respect for each other have been a breath of fresh air on this blog…

  415. Anna Molly says:

    OH NO! I’m so sorry Midwest and James! :(

  416. NC Gent says:

    I am sorry to hear about that Midwest and James :( Your post sets the standard of dignity and class for gracefully ending a sugar relationship – hopefully, you can reconnect your sugar relationship in the future.

  417. SD NEOhio (SDN) says:

    Moring everyone.

    DC SB: Hey, sorry I was slow on the response to my favorite word :)

    LASB: “Blond, huge boobies, (HI SDN) IQ smaller than my already small waistline, and still can swim way out into the ocean to rescue tourists.” You just got A LOT more interesting!!! *grinning*

  418. photogirl says:

    AWW Midwest and James… Love you two! James it really says alot about BOTH of you handling the ‘announcement’ the way you have. Although we didn’t get to talk too much in Chicago… it was obvious you are both absolutely wonderful people! I am sorry to hear the news but sincerely wish you both the best!

  419. NC Gent says:

    Cleo — if I had to bet, I don’t think he was there. I agree most guys would give it at least 15 minutes, but not all. The way I look at it though, either way, it isn’t someone she would want to enter into an arrangement with. I know it would suck to get up that early in the morning and have a no show. I am truly sorry that happened to you sugarbarbie.

    Photogirl — I think I have your email, but I am not sure I can pick it out of my 162 contacts. I have Elegant’s email address – you can have her forward yours to me.

  420. Midwest and James.M says:

    From Midwest and James.M

    A sad note to our friends on the blog. Over the last three or four months, Midwest and I have enjoyed a wonderful relationship. As you search for SBs and SDs, we hope you all will find experiences as enjoyable as ours. Unfortunately, all good things must come to an end. The combination of the current economy, and the tightening of restrictions on lenders by federal regulators (despite the Administration’s attempts to put the blame on bankers), has made business impossible for my company. Midwest, and our relationship, though innocent bystanders, have become victims.

    It is important for you to know that this wasn’t something either of us wanted to do. If I may stick in a shameless plug, any SD who snaps up Midwest will be getting a gem. As you no doubt know from her posts here, she is a wonderful human being who really understands the SB/SD relationship. Plus, she’s a great cook!

    I know this sort of “announcement” seems strange, but we have become close to all of our blog friends and crushes, and we wanted you all to know, so that you would not waste time wondering or worrying about us. We’re fine (although bummed), we will keep in touch, and the friendship we have built will remain.

  421. photogirl says:

    If he did not respond to your text yet I’d say he is a POOFer. Sorry :(

  422. sugarbarbie says:

    I really hat being late too. Tried to be on time but I really dont think was there. I did text him. after I saw he was not there. and when I got home emailed him. Hopefully he was more late than me.

  423. Chitown SB says:

    Good morning Elegant, yes I am here. Stepped out briefly but now I am back.

    Sugarbarbie, was there any communication from either of you when A. You were running late or B. He wasn’t there? It all just sounds very odd…

  424. cleo says:

    sugarbarbie my guess is he wasn’t there yet. most people wait fifteen before they give up.
    .
    LASB if he becomes your SD ask him to send a car and get a data stick… then you can work on your laptop
    .
    elegant: look forward to the update!
    .
    lily you are the cutest thing you just are. sorry to disappear so fast last night!
    .
    TexaSD yes you saw me, i’ve been wondering about you! hope you’ve been well! i would gossip with you but i don’t have your email. anyone who has both is welcome to share though
    .
    midwest: pic on your profile is gorgeous! why did you change your name back?
    .
    moonpatrol: any woman who has a job or is self employed has to get a decent allowance to travel with her SD or she can’t pay her bills. not won’t, can’t. if an sd isn’t prepared to cover all my travel expenses i can’t come to him, i just can’t. i don’t think you’re into paying an allowance which means you’re stuck with sb’s in your own area who are into gift/dinner daddy’s… perhaps if you re-wrote your profile to indicate that?
    .
    nc gent do you believe he showed?
    .
    sugarbarbie did you ask the staff if they’d seen anyone?

  425. photogirl says:

    Hello NCGent – You still have my email? You’ll have to keep Elegant and I posted about your next trip to our area.

    Good morning everyone!

  426. Anna Molly says:

    I hate being late, but sometimes you just can’t help it. :)

  427. ElegantSugar says:

    NC Gent – I am about to walk in the snow to grab coffee with my cousin, but then I am homeward bound this afternoon – where it is nice and WARM! Hope your morning is going well.

    Oh, and hi Chitown…I think she’s here too…

  428. NC Gent says:

    Hi Elegant and Photogirl — hope you two ladies are doing well this morning!

  429. ElegantSugar says:

    Hi photogirl & NC Gent…anyone else on!

  430. NC Gent says:

    This may sound a little fatherly, but you only have one chance to make a first impression. If you were really into him that much, you should have called or text him to let him know you were running late. I personally am not that rigid, but I know a lot of guys my age are very impatient and think it is rude to be late for a first meeting. Then again, this doesn’t excuse his behavior of not reaching out to you to see if you were ok — that would have been the proper thing to do if he was there.

  431. ElegantSugar says:

    sugarbarbie – did you text or call to let him know you were running a bit behind? Ten minutes is nothing. I am surprised he didn’t call or text to see if everything was still on before taking off. I agree with NC Gent, he sounds like a rude Poof Daddy! Sorry. :( Someone better for you out there anyway!

  432. photogirl says:

    Sugarbarbie – How long did you wait? I agree with NC Gent… I tend to try to get there alittle early actually. But if I know that I will be more than 5 minutes late, I will call or send a text to let them know.

  433. sugarbarbie says:

    geez the hunt goes on.

  434. NC Gent says:

    Sugarbarbie – 10 minutes late isn’t too bad. I typically give 15 minutes before I send a text asking if everything is still on. Have you tried to contact him? Some people are very impatient and only give 5 minutes before they bolt. My guess is that you have encountered a rude pooF daddy – sorry.

  435. NC Gent says:

    WF is typically white female.

    Momma – I only date SBs at least 2 hours away from me. One SB I saw in her town when I traveled there on business, but she lived in a large town so there weren’t any discretionary issues. My current SB lives in a small town very far away, but she isn’t too far away from a major airport, so she flies to meet me in towns where I have business meetings. I actually love that type of arrangement, but wish she was a little closer geographically.

  436. Chitown SB says:

    How important is maturity for you in a potential sugar?
    VERY, I agree with Elegant on this one. If I wanted immaturity, I’d stick with guys in their 20s

    What questions should someone ask themselves before delving into the sugarbowl?
    How much time can I really devote? What are my limits? What are my expectations and are they realistic?

    Do you think everyone has what it takes (emotionally, physically) to be a sugar? Why or why not?
    I think physically there is a type for everyone (well, almost everyone), but I also believe many are not fully equipped for the emotional journey through sugarland.

  437. sugarbarbie says:

    Good Morning Sugarland,

    Just home got from trying to meet POT SD. But he was not there. I was a little late so he might have already left. How long would you wait? I was only 10 minutes late and he would have had to been long gone because there was nobody in the parking lot. meeting at 8 am is hard for me because I usually don’t get home until between 4 and 6 am. I set my alarm for 6 but of course it didn’t go off. luckily i woke up at 630 some how. but still got there a little late. Hopefully he contacts me and we can rearrange for this evening.

  438. Chitown SB says:

    Good morning sugars!

  439. ElegantSugar says:

    Good morning! I just spent 20 minutes reading all of your insomniac-driven posts last night. Too funny!

    I will be on my way to the airport soon to return home! (YAY!) The snow was beautiful and it was great seeing family (and meeting Hottie McHotterson pot SD), but I am soooo ready to get home.

    I will be finishing up Part TWO of my “Interview with a Sugar Daddy” when I return home as well as making some personal sugar decisions.

    Have a great one, all!

  440. Anna Molly says:

    Good Morning Everyone! 😀

    Lily ~ White Female….maybe?

  441. vima0321 says:

    good morning… sugar family! :*

  442. What does WF mean? BF is black female?

  443. LASB says:

    Lily – real is supposed to say *read. Yes, i need sleep!

  444. LASB says:

    Now this is interesting… I just got favorited by a guy whose tagline is “WF seeking BF.” Maybe Asian is the new black.

  445. LASB says:

    Lily – So you do real all our posts! hehe. Yeah, I should call you lil’ ho. 😉

    Ok, really going to sleep now. What’s up with all the SBs having insomnia?

  446. Lily says:

    Midwest, yes TUSCANY is amazing. I also was inspired by Under the Tuscan Sun and went to Cortona just to check it out and hope to run into her. But the coastal towns you are thinking of that are featured in that movie are Positano/Amalfi, couple hours south or Rome and many hour south of Cortona. I have never been and also am dying to go (both to Rome and to Positano or anywhere on the Amalfi coast).

    Alternatively, Florence is amazing. I hear there are 90 minute shuttle trains between Rome and Florence.

    Anyone here, by the way? I slept 6 hours and now I’m back. :)

    LASB, you are too funny. ‘pull a Lily’ 😉

  447. lil'SB says:

    Ah I guess I’ll go to bed now, good night LASB!

  448. LASB says:

    Ok, obviously I cleared the blog. Good morning to whoever gets here first! :)

  449. lil'SB says:

    O hoyyyyyy, I’m of asian descent too, but I don’t think I could be more different! I’ve never dyed my hair and I’m really petite, chest included =(

    That’s funny, here it’s rather reversed. The communities with more ethnic minorities see higher crime rates while the rich neighbourhoods are usually dominated by caucasians.

  450. LASB says:

    I’m Asian, btw. And no, I don’t have a problem with the lack of white people in Venice. My neighborhood is actually pretty mixed. My LAPD friend said that mixed neighborhoods have the lowest crime rates. Somehow, that makes sense to me.

    Yes, I’m guessing it’s the fancy places where lawyers and business guys do happy hour before they go home to their wives or empty lofts.

  451. LASB says:

    Hahahaha. Yes, I’m definitely that. Blond, huge boobies, (HI SDN) IQ smaller than my already small waistline, and still can swim way out into the ocean to rescue tourists.
    Back in the day, I was talking to a Spaniard over a beer. He was a tourist and he started telling me how Venice Beach was the biggest scam in the book. I asked what was wrong with it and he said that in the movies, it was all white people and in real life, there were no white people there. LOL!

  452. lil'SB says:

    I’m assuming it’s the bars with $20 martinis or something…the ones that I would probably NOT be frequenting (I really don’t like martinis, nor do I know much about alcoholic drinks, period!).

  453. lil'SB says:

    Of COURSE you should be snobby! All californian beach bunnies have silky golden hair that fly behind them as they run across the beach in their string bikinis as their ‘girls’ bounce and show everyone just how to have a perky good time. What DON’T you have to be snobby about! At least that’s what I got from Bay Watch. (joking, joking!)

  454. LASB says:

    lilSB- NYC SB met her first SD at some function at a bar, I think. I think you can meet SDs at the right bar, but there’s probably an art to it. I haven’t yet cracked the code.

  455. LASB says:

    lil’sb – Actually, today was fine. We cleared it up and he’s been gentlemanly. It may just be that he’s one of those people who doesn’t mind spending his life in his car, so he forgets that we’re not all like that.

    I also have a pot date tomorrow. I’m tempted to pull a Lily because the chemistry with this guy is immense. It’s our second date and the first was already pretty steamy. This is the Luv2luvU nasty girl textorama guy. Hahahaha. But then in person, he’s rather shy and unassuming.

  456. NYCBella says:

    ok, really going to bed now. gnite, all.

  457. LASB says:

    Nite Midwest. I hope you make it to the meet! :)

    Yes, north, up in the Angles National forest, almost to county line.

    You know, I just had a convo with the BFF today about the beach being overrated to us natives. We may be the only two in LA who think this way. It’s almost a rebellion against the beach folk. LA is based on geography based on one’s socio-economic position in life. Where I live was once the hood, and the beach folk still think of my area code that way. I used to be one of those snobby beachers, but now I see the error of my ways and I’m all about the inner city. The whole geography thing is really stupid and I’ll be the first to admit it, even though I live it.

  458. lil'SB says:

    CUES! I meant cues, not ques…

  459. lil'SB says:

    Thanks Bella, that’s what I thought. It seems like real SDs are usually too busy to do that kind of thing anyways.

  460. lil'SB says:

    Ah everyone’s going to bed, maybe I ought to take your ques and fix my sleep schedule too

    I hope Malibu works out better for you LASB! Sorry to hear that today didn’t go so well, I was hoping it did to give me good luck for a friday date.

  461. NYCBella says:

    LASB~I hear ya…is he north of the city?

    lil SB~Mine was a client through my business, and it evolved as naturally as that sort of situation can (accelerated, yes, but still natural)…no, I might go trolling when I’m at a bar with my girls, but I don’t pursue anyone I’ve met in a bar anymore.

  462. NYCBella says:

    Ok, all…going to bed now. TTYT!

  463. LASB says:

    Yes, if anyone has both Midwest’s and my emails, please share! Thanks!
    Bummer that I can’t get to you through your SA page.

    Malibu is a very nice date spot. Not such a great commute, but much better than going to his place in the booooonies. It’s the rich boonies, but I don’t see myself wanting to go out there 2xs a week.

  464. lil'SB says:

    So how do people meet IRL SDs anyways…I’m under the impression that only guys from the bottom of the barrel try to pick up SBs from bars so I’m guessing that’s not it…

  465. NYCBella says:

    LASB~Unfortunately, no…I don’t have Midwest’s email. Malibu should be fun. Atleast you have options for either keeping it indoors for food/drinks or walking out onto the beach if you’re feeling adventurous. Haven’t spent much time in Malibu yet, but what I’ve seen so far is cute.

    Nite Midwest. 😉

  466. Kristina says:

    LASB always have a pot travel to you first meeting so in the event it does not work out you will be out less in time .

  467. LASB says:

    Bella – Don’t watch that crap. It will pollute your mind. Come to LA with a clean slate. All that is enhanced crap. Well, except for a guy I know who was on there. He was really that scary and creepy. haha.

  468. Midwest says:

    I think Malibu is a great date spot! Enjoy!

  469. Midwest says:

    LASB – I don’t think she does, but quite a few of the others have it. Would someone mind sharing please? Thanks!

  470. LASB says:

    Midwest – Oh, I wish I could wear a ball cap. My head is too big. lol. And I guess hiking isn’t so bad if he didn’t live near some of the steepest, dustiest hills in the area AND he didn’t want to eat at a nice restaurant after.

  471. Midwest says:

    TexasSD – Thanks for the travel advice! I hope sleep comes soon…goodnight!

  472. NYCBella says:

    So, I’ve finally tuned into watching Millionaire Matchmaker for the first time (after having read about it on here)…interesting show, but I’m on overload and burn out mode right now and the show is making me feel even more weary about the sugar bowl right now. (Keeping options open because not sure where it’s gonna go with SD IRL once I make the cross country move.) Ugh….

  473. LASB says:

    Bella, do you have Midwest’s email address? If so, can you share mine with her? I haven’t seen OC on here forever.

  474. Midwest says:

    NYCBella – Ah – that can be very consuming. “How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.” Corny, but true. It will start to show some headway soon.

    LASB – I would love to go hiking! That’s just me, but it’s a chance to get to really get to talk to someone. I realize it’s not that glamorous, but that’s what waterproof mascara and ball caps are for. :-)

    OK – REALLY off to sleep now!

  475. LASB says:

    Ok, we are going to meet near Malibu beach. No hiking. At least he was super flexible. 1/2 of my faith is restored. We’ll see.

  476. NYCBella says:

    LASB~Oh, come on…why not? Sweaty pits, smeared makeup and frizzed out hair is hot! Hmmm, maybe you’re right about your feelings on this one. I hate when I get that pit of the stomach feeling before I meet up with a pot…makes me feel like the evening is a huge chore. Though not sure if it’s my own projection of doubt or if it’s actually just a dud.

  477. Midwest says:

    OC – Could you please share my e-mail with LASB? Thanks!

  478. NYCBella says:

    Midwest~I agree, but I actually meant my business that I’m finalizing all the sell-off details. Just ready to have some of my own time again.

    LASB~I know, can’t wait…am starting to feel overwhelmed cause there’s so much to still do before the move…hence my anxiety and insomnia.

  479. LASB says:

    Bella- yeah, so I asked him, “do you ever come into LA?” and he said, “rarely.” Well, then he offered to meet in my neck of the woods. I’m too nice, so I said we could meet in between. He also wants to go hiking. BLEH!!!!! That’s something I do alone, so I can just be at one with all the dirt, not worrying that my makeup is smearing, pits are sweating, and hair is frizzing. NOT HIKING with a pot!!!!

  480. Midwest says:

    LASB – who has rsvp’d?

  481. Midwest says:

    NYCBella – I love company, but it’s nice to return to normal after they have had their lovely visit.

    LASB – I don’t have to really tell you this, but he should have come to you.

  482. LASB says:

    mpoppins – What!? I just got here. The party just started.

  483. NYCBella says:

    LASB~Hello honey! If he’s going to be the one traveling then it’s not a biggie on your part right???

    Midwest~I guess I forgive you…sweet dreams.

  484. LASB says:

    I hear ya Bella. I can’t wait til you get out here! :)

  485. mommapoppins says:

    Ok all, it is time to try to get some rest! Hope everyone has a wanderful morning. TTYL

  486. LASB says:

    It’s on! we are doing it on the 25th in Hollywood.
    Well, I think it’s on. The organizers keep disappearing. But hell, I will be there sitting at the table if anyone wants to show up.

  487. NYCBella says:

    Ugh…I should try and sleep a little bit tonight. Can’t wait to unload my company and move already…Am soooo burnt out.

  488. LASB says:

    Ok, so I was talking to a pot and agreed to meet him at his place because on his profile it says it’s 12 miles from me. Then he gives me his address and it’s 45 miles. In LA miles, that’s about 2 hours away!!! ugh. What does he think? gas and time grows on trees?

  489. Midwest says:

    LASB- Is the LA meet still on?

  490. Midwest says:

    Bella – sorry I’m disappearing on you! You are certainly in good company!

  491. LASB says:

    You’re all still up?!! Wow! This is great!

  492. mommapoppins says:

    Midwest- yes I was able to see your profile. Try Tuscany I hear it is just breath taking!

  493. Midwest says:

    Rome, then the coastal towns. Perhaps a summer spent travelling Europe…where’s Happy Lurker?

    Friends, I feel sleep finally calling my name. I hope you all have a wonderful day today!

  494. NYCBella says:

    Midwest~Yay! I’m not the only one still up…this thing really enables me in my insomnia. lol 😉

  495. TexaSD says:

    Midwest- Rome… its everything you want, then after a week or 2, you can go any direction you want, its centrally located lol

  496. Midwest says:

    I haven’t decided yet. I would love to submerge myself in the culture of the coastal towns. I remember some of the scenery in “Under the Tuscan Sun” and found it breathtaking. I am also quite fond of the sculpture, mosaics and architecture of Rome. There’s so much to see. What do you recommend for a true immersion of Italy?

  497. TexaSD says:

    Midwest- Italy is nice. Where in Italy you want to go first?

  498. Midwest says:

    TexasSD- I may have to add this to my list of destinations. My first priority is Italy though.

  499. TexaSD says:

    Midwest- I want to say its maybe 1k-1.5k flight hotel 100-well no limit/night. About the time it takes to fly, I have never flown there directly so I have no Idea, however its about 13 hours from Dallas to Tokyo, and maybe 18 hours from Houston to Singapore, which is about the same distance as Phuket, so maybe slightly less than 18 hours. Obviously December January is the best time to go. away from the tourist seasons

  500. Midwest says:

    lil’ SB – Too funny! Beauty is pain!

  501. lil'SB says:

    Random Trivia: Marie Antoinette used to go to bed wearing chicken skin gloves to soften her hands. They smelled and felt bad and she didn’t like them.

  502. Midwest says:

    Wow- my age is showing…let me go fetch the water so I can make some biscuits for my hard-working farming husband and our 12 kids :-)

  503. mommapoppins says:

    I guess just on the blog. the only thing i signed into was sa

  504. Midwest says:

    Texas – is it expensive to travel to Thailand? How long is the flight?

  505. lil'SB says:

    Hahaha, sorry mommapoppins, I prefer soft hands myself.

  506. TexaSD says:

    Midwest- ya its a nice place, I still have some pictures. You should think about it, Although its not cancun, it is becoming more of a hotspot in Asia. Taiwan is also nice.

  507. lil'SB says:

    Oh moonpatrol, it’s YOUR profile that is unavailable to me. I can view midwest’s just fine though. Strange…

  508. mommapoppins says:

    moon- good night and sweet dreams! That last one was wrong. I just got a bad mental pic with the rough hands!

  509. lil'SB says:

    Maybe some really backwards people still value rough hands as proof that the person is a hard, honest worker and not some money grubbing cubicle pencil pusher? Reminiscent of them good old days tilling the good land and fertilizing the plants with your blood sweat and tears…

  510. MoonPatrol says:

    Poppins I don’t know why you can’t see us if you search me for 46 year old man in Houston 5-6 who doesn’t smoke and doesn’t drink and is in the 1000-3000 budget you might be able to find it on a search.

  511. Midwest says:

    Momma- are you logged in or just on the blog?

  512. Midwest says:

    Goodnight Moon. I don’t mind rough hands on a man…it’s masculine and makes me feel protected in a way. I’m sure that sounds a bit odd, but it is late!

  513. mommapoppins says:

    ok so now I am thinking it is on my end! What could it be?

  514. MoonPatrol says:

    I’m going to bed now but I have a funny thought.
    I have been told I have soft hands.
    What would a man or women want rough hands for?

  515. Midwest says:

    It’s 2am here too! You are in the company of blog addicts inflicted by insomnia. Thanks for the compliment! Let’s see if it provides the right results!

  516. mommapoppins says:

    both of your profiles are unavailable to me

  517. lil'SB says:

    Very good profile, might I add! Makes me want to revise mine…

    On second thought, naaaah I’m too tired. It’s 2AM here =D

  518. Midwest says:

    Hi chica! Thanks for checking!

  519. lil'SB says:

    Midwest, the link works for me…

  520. mommapoppins says:

    tex- lol that was cute, but very true!

    moon & midwest- who knows maybe it is just my end!

  521. Midwest says:

    I love a three hour drive…it’s when I do my best thinking! I don’t think people appreciate it when I start jotting down ideas while driving. Note to self…digital recorder!

  522. MoonPatrol says:

    I pasted my thing in there try it again

  523. Midwest says:

    Momma- it shows you viewed it…

    Guys – she’s cute!

  524. TexaSD says:

    Midwest- Well its next to Cambodia so that was cool. the weather is nice, people are friendly, and why not try it out lol. “If dating is the right word” Well its not really on my mind, just in a far corner somewhere. My mind is just wandering around…

    Mommapoppins- 3 hours isn’t anything lol, thats plenty of time to work on the way lol

  525. mommapoppins says:

    moon- yours says the same

  526. Midwest says:

    Momma- Thanks – There is a trick to the link for women to view it…I will have to look back to see.

    Moon – I wish I was there right NOW!

    TexasSD- I Googled it…what a gorgeous area!

  527. MoonPatrol says:

    you are a girl and its set to look at men maybe?

  528. mommapoppins says:

    Cool, thanks Moon

    Midwest- it says your profile not available

  529. MoonPatrol says:

    Yep I see your new profile. Is that you in the sun?

    Why go somewhere unless you have something to hold you there….

  530. mommapoppins says:

    Yeah that is very true! The last SD I had wanted me there and accessable.

    Midwest- sure will!

  531. MoonPatrol says:

    Poppins I am from Houston

  532. Midwest says:

    Momma- I’ve had no problem with 2-3 hours being a challenge.

  533. mommapoppins says:

    moon- Come on now, you know that it would be a blast to got to a SB/SD party in Houson!!!!

  534. Midwest says:

    I may be punchy, but that last sentence reads in a very entertaining way :-)

    I just had my absolute favorite Thai meal from a little hole in the wall Cambodian restaurant today…yum! I’ve met a few people who enjoy going to Thailand for vacation…I’ve never considered it a destination spot. What do you enjoy about Thailand?

    “If dating is the right word” Is this what is on your mind?

    Can each of you try to click through my blog name to see if it works?

  535. MoonPatrol says:

    3 hour drive ain’t real far relative to like NYC. or Vegas.

  536. mommapoppins says:

    moon- I am outside of Longview, and you?

  537. mommapoppins says:

    My problem that I have is that I want to be available when my SD wants to meet up, and right now if I find one from the dallas area, there will be a good 3 hour drive for either one of us. Was not sure how many SD felt about a SB being that far away.

  538. TexaSD says:

    Midwest- Ya, I don’t think I will be in LA anytime soon, I took a few new contracts back in December, and now I kinda think I was a bit to aggressive as I have found out, possibly bit off more than I can chew… Oh and as mention about a Mac Mini, ya thats a good machine, it is fairly decent price I think.

    As to Meeting Some women. Yes I have met about 2, I didn’t pursue anything, as work lately has been crushing… they only thing I did was go to Thailand (fun) and Cambodia (work related). I was in Phuket for about a week with this girl I was dating in Japan (if dating is the right word).

  539. MoonPatrol says:

    Poppins —
    what city you in ?

  540. MoonPatrol says:

    I wonder if I would show up at a Houston SBSD party.

  541. Midwest says:

    Moon – She is in TX

  542. Midwest says:

    I’m not one of those to run out and buy the latest gadget…I let people try it out for about 6 months, then make a decision.

  543. mommapoppins says:

    Hey MoonPatro! Glad to see you are still with us!

  544. MoonPatrol says:

    Only way I could date out of state is if I made it a mini vacation

  545. MoonPatrol says:

    Wait in line and the ipad is yours. I’m still debating a laptop that will sit on my lap or a table hands-free.
    No I haven’t dated anyone this fiscal year. Might meet a 26 yr old SB. in Houston.

  546. Midwest says:

    Hi MoonPatrol! Momma had an earlier question about being in TX and if SDs would date someone out of their areas.

    TexasSD – I see you answered part of my question. I believe I remember your occupation… it seemed rather time-consuming and full of travel. If you’re heading to LA next week, there was a meet the 22nd and 23rd. I’m not sure of the status at this point.

  547. MoonPatrol says:

    The Sbs I like are out of town .
    The ones that are here seem questionable except for one. I would much rather date local.
    I don’t travel so have no idea what its like to fly around selling and talking etc.

  548. mommapoppins says:

    lol you can say that again! That is one reason I am looking elsewhere! I live in a very small town, I like my privacy and discretion as needed. I totally understand the lonely part. It is hard to want to get out, when you know that what is out there is not worth the time or effort. If you get to lonely you can email me or get on the blog. I will be glad to keep you company!

  549. Midwest says:

    I’ve heard about the iPads and am intrigued.

    When you were on before, weren’t you “testing the waters” but not quite ready to agressively find an sb. Have you been on some dates? Are you still taking the same approach?

  550. MoonPatrol says:

    Midwest- Those apple pads look good.
    My macmini was less than a PC laptop and its my main personal machine.
    Bless you dell and hope it wakes up.

    I’m only up cause I typed a long letter to a relative

  551. TexaSD says:

    Midwest- Actually I deleted it recently, I will make another one, but just kinda been so busy with work, so any day now I will re make it.

  552. TexaSD says:

    Midwest- Well I think the iPads are coming out soon, that might be up your alley.

    Mommapoppins- Nope Actually i Look in cities which I work in, I am not sure if I would want something in my town (not married or have a gf) just not sure if that fits me yet. Although I do hate being alone so much, plus not sure how good it is for my mental health lol.

  553. Midwest says:

    Oh wait…you were always quite careful about sharing your profile…ok…penny for your thoughts “I’m listening” (frasier)

  554. Midwest says:

    If it’s something to share offline, you can write through my profile.

  555. mommapoppins says:

    lol that is true, but the name is my real nick name, that and ashleypoppins. I get if from mary poppins, always prepared, happy, and optimistic!

  556. Midwest says:

    Is this a quid pro quo?

    Great! Another Apple rep *sigh*. Actually, I’d love one, but they have to have a little more competitive pricing.

  557. mommapoppins says:

    When you are checking out pot SB, is being out of you area, a deal breaker? Do you have a profile here on SA?

  558. Midwest says:

    Thanks momma – I’m going to hold off for a bit…please don’t take any offense. BTW- I see your blog name and it reminds me of the song from Chicago…”if you’ll be good to mama, mama’s good to you”.

  559. TexaSD says:

    Midwest- Lol buy a Mac lol… I dunno, never been so big on divulging my inner thoughts lol, but if you want to share, all i have is time tonight lol

  560. mommapoppins says:

    Midwest- share if it will help, that is what we are here for!

  561. TexaSD says:

    Yep, I am here in the Lone Star state. Curious out of town mba? Ok, what are you wanting to know?

  562. Midwest says:

    SDN – My Dell Mini is misbehavin…HELP!!!

  563. mommapoppins says:

    The coffee has also helped keep me up!

  564. Midwest says:

    TexasSD – I am well…wishing it was sunny and warm.

    I also have a hard time shutting down when there are unresolved thoughts floating around in my head… care to share?

    Coffee is only for the mornings in my world!

    Momma – ask me again in about 5 hours :-)

  565. mommapoppins says:

    Auctually, there is I was informed that you are a gentleman and from Texas. I was asking earlier if there are any real SD that would prefer an out of town mba. I have been looking but not found any from my area. I was given your name, and it interested me. I was wanting to find out a little about you. If that is ok with you!

  566. TexaSD says:

    Mommapoppins- Never been a coffee drinker… Oh well, is that why your up? Or something on your mind?

  567. mommapoppins says:

    Anyone up of a cup? I make a killer cappuccino!

  568. mommapoppins says:

    I wish I could say that I just couldn’t sleep! Its my own fault I am still up, could not lay off the coffee!

  569. TexaSD says:

    Mommapoppins- I am ok, can’t sleep, my mind isn’t letting me lol

    Midwest- Nope I didn’t know that. how are you doing?

  570. mommapoppins says:

    Hey there Midwest! Too bad the sleeping thing is not working out! We will be more than happy to Chat with you!

  571. Midwest Mistress of the Dark says:

    Guess who can’t sleep! Hi mommapoppins and TexasSD!

    TexasSD – did you happen to notice from prior posts that mommapoppins is in the lone star state?

  572. mommapoppins says:

    doing great, seeing whats going on in sugarland! How are you toinght?

  573. TexaSD says:

    Mamapoppins- How are you?

  574. MoonPatrol says:

    Yep your right I always played best Golf when I didn’t practice for a while. I am backing off form, my messaging too and writing letter to s friend instead the next days. I getting tired too after everyone saying they’re tired.

  575. AnnaMadrid says:

    I think I’m off to bed now. It was so nice chatting with all of you!!
    Good night and thanks so much for the comments!

  576. AnnaMadrid says:

    That last comment was to MoonPatrol, by the way.

  577. AnnaMadrid says:

    MP- I think It’s like writing.. You just need to step away from whatever it is you’re focusing for a short time, then get back to it. Most of the time you get better results because you’re more relaxed and confident.

  578. MoonPatrol says:

    Some restaurants are too noisy and it ain’t the people it s the design of the building often. I don’t like screaming over stuff. I did that in college with a beer and a live band 30 feet way while I drunkenly try to pick up a girl.

  579. NYCBella says:

    Elegant~It’s ok…the blurb was more of a blip so it was easy to miss. So, NYC SB met up with AM for drinks prior to dinner, but AM wasn’t able to join (Carp, NJLady, NY Gent and Muse were also unavailable). So it ended up being the 6 of us (3 SB/SD couples) for dinner. NYC SB and NYSE were at the bar when i arrived, followed quickly by my gf who is considering becoming a SB. She stayed for cocktails and then had to get back to designing the hair for a show for Fashion Week.

    So then my SD arrived, followed by DC SB and her SD (lovely couple). Dinner was nice. It was difficult to really get to talk in depth with one another due to the noise of the restaurant and the length of dinner, coupled with the fact that sugar wasn’t discussed largely as the guys aren’t really comfortable with flaunting the SD titles, so we had to find some other common talking points. Sports was big for the guys, as well as a sprinkling of business/shop talk. We girls snuck in some juicy blog gossip without drawing much attention to ourselves. All in all, it was a nice, low-key meet/dinner party.

  580. mommapoppins says:

    hey TexaSD

  581. TexaSD says:

    Cleo- Did I see you in here?

  582. MoonPatrol says:

    momma – I look in the mirror and like myself so I know.

    AMadrid– I’ve been on there since late October, Been face to face with 4 so-called SB’s and all were toxic and bad for me.

  583. mommapoppins says:

    MoonPatrol- you can kinda say we have been hibernating! It has been so cold outside! Hopefully you will find the right sb for you!!! By the way there is no way you are icky!

  584. AnnaMadrid says:

    No prob! Tell me more about your quest.. Have you been on here for a while?

  585. MoonPatrol says:

    My theory is that lots of the women have been hibernating in the winter and not been real active. thanks for noticing i’m likeable.

  586. AnnaMadrid says:

    MoonPatrol, I’m sure you’ll some replies soon enough. It feels like it’s been forevever since I talked to anyone “decent” enough that I could see myself meeting.
    P.S. You’re not icky!

  587. MoonPatrol says:

    Anna Madrid — I’m jealous of your guy! All the Sb’s I really want to confer with have not replied. I must be icky… Well the ones in my home town don’t get me very inspired though and thats about all I can afford without getting mad at myself..

  588. Chitown SB says:

    Elegant, Thank you for the coat suggestions, lots to look into.

    I think I will go try and catch up on the comments for this topic now. Hope all is well with everyone out there.

    Phone interview in the morning with my next potential theatre gig… keeping my fingers crossed….

  589. ElegantSugar says:

    Hi, Chitown! Did you see my coat recommendations on the last blog? Did you end up buying one yet?

  590. AnnaMadrid says:

    Thanks ElegantSugar! I am very excited and It’s nice to be able to talk to people who share the same SD/SB situation.

  591. Chitown SB says:

    late night lurking yet again… I really need to start getting to bed sooner

  592. ElegantSugar says:

    AnnaMadrid – you do seem excited. Congratulations. Just remember that arrangements are about two people coming together and agreeing to a relationship that is beneficial for both. No drama. No stress. Relaxing and fun. There will be different areas of growth as you move along and as long as you communicate well with one another, it should be something that is enhancing both of your lives. Have fun!

  593. AnnaMadrid says:

    Thanks mommapoppins!

  594. mommapoppins says:

    Of course you are nervious, if this is your first! Just relax and be your self. Keep open and honest with you SD, and things will be great! Congrats!!!

  595. AnnaMadrid says:

    Okay!! I’m soo excited! First, let me give u a bio. I just turned 20 this month, I’ve been searching for a dugar daddy for awhile and I’ve only just met someone who seems fitting. He’s a broker and he’s married with two young daughters. I met him a for coffee last week and we decided to meet again today. This time we went to a Lodge somewhere. It was nicer than the marriot:) Our arrangement right now is simple. coffee/lunch dates and we did have sex the second time around and a set amount of $$ everytime and he agreed to help with other financial things I needed. He also told me today that He’d like to take me on vacation with him sometimes. I don’t even know what I should be thinking about all this.. It happened unexpectedly and I’m really excited and nervous at the same time.
    Comments Please!

  596. cleo says:

    i want lily’s camera… or a mac with photobooth.

  597. mommapoppins says:

    Hello AnnaMadrid! Spill the beans, we are all sugar family dear!

  598. ElegantSugar says:

    Hi, AnnaMadrid. Welcome! Please feel free to share your story. Lots of wonderful people here.

  599. AnnaMadrid says:

    Hey you guys! This is my first post here.. I just thought I’d post something because I wanted to talk about my first meeting with a “real’ sugar daddy!

  600. ElegantSugar says:

    Oh my gosh, NYCBella…there was an update? On this blog? I will have to scroll up and see where I missed it. So sorry. :(

    Sweet dreams, Midwest!

    Oh and as far as self-timer photos, you can buy a little universal digicam remote for around $20 at Ritz Camera or any other camera shop that allows you to do wonderful self-portraits without having only 10 seconds to get in place!

  601. Midwest Mistress of the Dark says:

    DC – No worries – I don’t hold a grudge.

    Goodnight sugars! Sweet dreams!

  602. NYCBella says:

    Elegant~We did update…u were off the blog apparently….(sighs and walks away shaking head pouting)…just too busy for our lil ole’ NYC crew, I see. 😉

  603. mommapoppins says:

    Really? My interest is sparked even more! Thanks

  604. ElegantSugar says:

    what does blushbing mean anyway? Geesh. Having wine with my family so I will blame it on that. I am just beyond proofreading anymore. Hey, I also type 120 W.P.M. with 98% accuracy. Woah.

  605. Midwest Mistress of the Dark says:

    momma – I’m in a small town as well and my SD travels about 2 hours to visit. Sometimes I go to him, others we have met in the middle. Sometimes the scheduling is tough, but not just due to the travel. It can certainly be done.

    You are in target rich territory! There are at least three or four blog sds from TX…Moonpatrol, JSO, TexasSD and IRLSD. Did I leave anyone out?

  606. mommapoppins says:

    elegant- thanks that gives me some major hope!

  607. ElegantSugar says:

    sugarbarbie – so sorry, dear. It is disappointing when we feel they are THE ONE. I called/emailed 3 wonderful pots last week to give them the news about my BadChoiceSD and deleted my profile and he ended being my worst nightmare! Move on and have a wonderful date tomorrow night!

  608. ElegantSugar says:

    mommapoppins – all of my SDs have been from out of town; it’s my preference. I am self-employed though so it is easier for me to be available for travel. I have been contacted by a few TX SDs so I know they are out there!

    DC – I’m flattered! *blushbing* (and I don’t blush much)

    Midwest is right, all of our blog SDs are crushworthy.

    Where has the NY crew been? We haven’t heard about their meet last Friday. I was hoping for the normal outline of events. :(

  609. mommapoppins says:

    I guess thats true! Just ready to find mine. Hopefully you have some luck in DC! What part were you from?

  610. DC SB says:

    Momma, your situation is basically the DC situation. Very few people are ACTUALLY living in DC, and so DC SDs look to MD as well as VA for SBs (would prob be equivalent to you being from small town TX and traveling to big city TX).
    Definitely happens.

    I’m originally from the Lone Star State myself, small town as well =)

  611. mommapoppins says:

    sugarbarbie-Good luck tomorrow and have fun!

  612. DC SB says:

    Bella, you would THINK that SDN’s ears would have immediately perked up & he’d poof from thin air (not to be confused w/ a poof daddy). =)

    Lily — I’m the same way, I type 120 WPM on average. And at work I just go off like speedy gonzales.

    Midwest I’m sorry I made you pout =(

  613. sugarbarbie says:

    Well yeah he seemed so perfect until then. I have a meet in the morning for coffee. i have to be there at 8! for someone that usually works nights that is a lot for me. well hope he’s worth it. Going to prepare now. ttyl

  614. mommapoppins says:

    I would like to have him come here it is just a really small town. I like my privacy and discretion. Maybe meet half way. Yall heard of any real SD on here from Texas?

  615. NYCBella says:

    Momma P~That shouldn’t be a problem, there seems to be a lot of SDs who enjoy doing out of town/LD arrangements….allows for more discretion if they’re married. Just be careful and always have a backup plan if things don’t work out peachy when you meet.

  616. lil'SB says:

    mommapoppins, why not find one that will travel to YOU? That would solve everything!

  617. mommapoppins says:

    So let me ask you all something. I am from a small town here in Texas, I have had a couple of SD, but not lately. I have joined this site, and was wandering if it is possible to find a new SD, that would not mind having a SB from out of town. I would have to travel to him.

  618. Lily says:

    mommapoppins, get what over with?

    I seriously need sleep now. Gonna be 5am soon.

    Good night!

  619. Lily says:

    :( Sorry to hear that it turns out that WestcoastPOT was on the wrong site. :( Silly man. So confused.

  620. mommapoppins says:

    lily- when it rains it pours! It really sucks, but at least go ahead and get it over with.

  621. Lily says:

    mwahahahaha………. mommapoppins, you have no idea. It was a freakin’ downpour of a day, so to speak. 😉 Right NYCBella?

    I will tell her. I’ll email her now. :)

  622. sugarbarbie says:

    I took the long way home and called WestcoastPOT :( not POT anymore and he was my favorite. He said he wants someone to live in. And I am not interested in just moving in with him like that sooooo. *sigh* I was looking forward to jumping all over him lol.

  623. NYCBella says:

    That’s ok…just send word to your blog Domme that you need to be punished. 😉

  624. mommapoppins says:

    Good evening sugar family! How was everyone’s day? Hope it was great!

  625. Lily says:

    I dunno about naughty Lily. I kinda feel like ‘ho-ish Lily today. :)

    Nah, I am loving it.

  626. Lily says:

    Yes I took my own pics. My camera has a self timer mode where it takes ten photos in a row, a few seconds apart. THat helps speed up the process SO MUCH in terms of taking enough pics to find a couple decent ones.

  627. NYCBella says:

    OOh…look at Naughty Lily! When it rains it pours, eh? 😉

  628. NYCBella says:

    MMD~Because he begs for it.

  629. Midwest Mistress of the Dark says:

    NYCBella – Ahhhh, I see. I can definitely do the sinisterly flirty part! Is this all verbal or do you actually tie up your sub and give him a firm spanking?? Howw do you know it won’t completely freak him out?

  630. Lily says:

    I’m starting to sober up………. :) Need to head to bed now and get some beauty sleep. Not that I have any dates tomorrow but still…. have a business plan to write….. furniture shopping (need another couch, I have a room that could use one) with a friend who has a big enough car to haul it to my place…. switching phone service providers and getting an iPhone tomorrow afternoon…. such a busy life! 😉

    I really did get some good luvin, NYCBella. Too much of it today. I think I’ll be celibate the rest of the week.

    However, Chairman potSD is coming over to my place on thursday for lunch. *mwahahahaha* I wonder how the man will respond to my not-so-subtle approach about arranging something in each others’ life with mutual benefits…….. :)

  631. Midwest Mistress of the Dark says:

    Lily – did you take your pics or did you have a friend help? Whenever I take my own pics, I don’t seem to be able to get any good ones. I’m also so impatient when I have to put the timer on, look at the pic, reset the timer and try again. Have any of you tried shooting video and pulling stills from the video?

  632. NYCBella says:

    DC~I know…shouldn’t SDN’s ears be simply ringing right now???

  633. NYCBella says:

    MMD~Not to worry…that’s the common misconception, that to top you have to be b****y…but the more intriguing Dommes are the ones who are playful and sinisterly flirty and then come out of left field with a swift yet severe retribution as the tie you up and spank you firmly…well, atleast that’s MHO. And, it does count for something… 😉

    Oh, and evening, sugars! Looks like lots is going on…
    Lils is tipsy!!! And, she got some good luvin….go girl!

  634. CA Dreamin SB says:

    Okay everyone…off to dinner. Catch up tomorrow!

  635. Midwest Mistress of the Dark says:

    JSO – Awwww – you are a true southern gentleman! Thank you :-)

  636. Lily says:

    Elegant, I like ‘lils’ –I think it’s cute. I think *you* are fine & sexy too!! *mwah!*

    IRLSD – I agree with Midwest. Stop being so policey.

  637. Lily says:

    DC SB, thanks for the feedback! I should go back to my blog and freakin’ edit those suckers down. They are too big. Problem is that I type over 100 words per minute so I just go and go and go and forget to stop doing the Faulkner stream-of-consciousness thing and relax and keep it concise. Not everyone wants a direct tour of my mind. :)

    I need to sleep. 4am. But I am stuck here! some sort of addiction. 😉

  638. JSO_TXSD says:

    midwest – I do not see how in the world you could be bit**hy. You have to be one of the nicest people I know.

  639. Midwest Mistress of the Dark says:

    Lily – I love your energy, but it does leave me feeling like I ran a marathon :-)

    DC – I’m hurt *sulks*, but I’m not sure of my place in the sub/domme world…perhaps I need a teacher!

    Wierd thing is, I have dramatically toned down my dominant side as it makes dating much less challenging. Perhaps it comes off as b*itchy instead of dominant.

  640. DC SB says:

    Just like boobs (cue SDN). Boobies that are a handful are the best kind of boobs.

  641. DC SB says:

    Lily I don’t find your posts (anymore) to be overwhelming but I *did* try to read your blog the other day and really couldn’t get past the first paragraph. I’ve tried now 3 times to finish reading your 2 most recent posts, to no avail.

    Hahaa. But you do seem to be a handful. But I would consider it a compliment =)

  642. JSO_TXSD says:

    Midwest – I wish I still had that kind of energy. God bless her. She is having fun.

  643. DC SB says:

    I don’t have any blog SD crushes, but I do have some SB blog crushes. Oo la la, obviously VA and ESB, but only until they find the best SDs to sweep them off their feet =)
    And Elegant too. She’s my idol.

  644. Lily says:

    I *DO* want a American travel SD. :) JSO? Wanna be breathless with me IRL?

    Do ya’ll hate being breathless? is that a bad thing? I know I have an intense persona, both online and (especially) IRL. Can’t help it. Just that way….

  645. DC SB says:

    Elegant, my SD & I have that sort of chemistry you’re talking about.. same exactly, except – he’s not married, so we’ve naturally progressed into a normal relationship.
    I say go for it babe. You only live once! And I’m having the most incredible time of my life.. it’s absolutely wonderful.
    If you’re worried about getting hurt, just remember that he *is* married, and always assume he’s never willing to leave his wife for you. Just live for the moment and have fun with it..
    Plus I don’t want you to settle just because the fireworks were too explosive =)

  646. Midwest Mistress of the Dark says:

    alex – all our blog daddies are crush-worthy!

  647. Lily says:

    I adore nicknames. Not so newly divorced. 18 months.

  648. Midwest Mistress of the Dark says:

    JSO – I’m with you…breathless is the term! Oh to be in my 20s and a novelty in her country. She did mention wanting a US daddy for travel – are you in??

    Mmmmm – fetishes. I have a few harmless ones. I have to google the ones mentioned before!

  649. Midwest Mistress of the Dark says:

    IRLSD- How and why do you know she has not logged onto her account since you met? You can’t help yourself. The fact that she is not logging in does not disturb me as much as you continuing to see if she is logging on. You have admitted (in another blog) to having multiple profiles to “test” loyalty. You inadvertently came across her toll pass and took the time to observe when/where she went through the tolls. It just doesn’t sound like healthy behaviors and leads to a LOT of speculation.

  650. CA Dreamin SB says:

    Hey JSO – feeling better? You left right when the fetish party was starting!

  651. JSO_TXSD says:

    Why does reading lily always make me eghusted.
    LILY – everything will be just fine. BREATH.
    Good evening everyone

  652. ElegantSugar says:

    Plus, you are a fine, sexy woman….newly divorced…so have some fun!! Life is damn short. Love you too, Lils! (I give all my friends nicknames. Annoying as it may be, I can’t help it.)

  653. Lily says:

    I have a blog crush. or a blog lust. a blust. However, I suspect that he and I are both submissive so that kinda throws a wrench into it….

    Elegant you are so right. and wise. Love you.

  654. ElegantSugar says:

    Also, you are not accountable for the decisions he has made so if you meet on Friday and decide he is not for you, then it is no fault of yours that he chose to delete his account.

  655. ElegantSugar says:

    lil’SB – What IRLSD says is true. Sometimes a potSD just thinks you are the cat’s meow after his long and exhausting search and he is ready to delete or just not renew his account. And as IRLSD also said, it is so easy just to start a new account.

  656. cleo says:

    alexx: only all of us… personally i have two

  657. lil'SB says:

    IRLSD, how do I warn him NOT to shut down his subscription in case things don’t work out after the first date? I was thinking “Hi, please don’t end your subscription on account of lil’ ol me” but that seems kind of fishy…

  658. CA Dreamin SB says:

    alex – we all have our blog crushes :)

  659. ElegantSugar says:

    Lily -you’re a single woman. You haven’t offered anyone exclusivity so you don’t have to be monogamous, just be safe.

  660. xoxoalexxx says:

    Does anyone else have crushes on some of the SD’s that post on here? :-)

  661. ElegantSugar says:

    xoxo – I got the “interested” one too!!!

  662. ElegantSugar says:

    Lily – shut the champagne off, girlfriend. Just because you gave into animal instincts and had sex with someone you are wildly attracted to, does not make you a slut.

  663. IRLSD says:

    lil’SB, sometimes you’re at the end of your search and come across someone you think it can work with and put your entire effort into that person without distracting yourself with other pots. Sounds like that is what he is doing. I am doing the same now. We’ll see how it works.

    It’s hard to make a big deal about cancelling an account though because it’s so easy to start a new one. I lost about 4 months of subscription though. As though it matters.

  664. cleo says:

    lil’sb most of the blog has my email but that said

    blog gods? please to be sharing my email with lil’sb

  665. xoxoalexxx says:

    Hi ElegantSugar, that was me, haha. I’m Alex :-) I love your blog and I’m anxiously waiting for part 2! Lol. He sent me a one word message. “interested”.

  666. ElegantSugar says:

    Lily – if I were to make a list of the things I want in a man, this man would be the list. He’s super tall with an athletic build (but not a muscle head, which I cannot stand) – standing beside him, I feel petite and I am a TALL girl without heels. He is so amazingly handsome, he is such a gentleman, he is highly intellectual, inquisitive, funny as all hell and listens and responds to everything, he can keep up with my witticisms, which is not an easy task. He is wildly crazy about me and somehow gets me. ……..never thought I would meet someone I was this crazy about through a site like this. But alas, not sure I should play with fire.

  667. IRLSD says:

    Midwest Mistress of the Dark, at least this one is not logging on. She hasn’t logged on even once since we’ve met. If she was logging on, there’d be no way I’d get her an apartment.

    In general, continued logging on makes me think that the SB is not perfectly happy with things. But it doesn’t bother me all that much per se, since none of the SBs around here ever finds another SD. I have a long list of old SBs still looking. One pair of them is now begging for me back and want to meet because they have had some time to think and want to apologize in person for how they treated me. See… it’s not just me imagining that some SBs treat me poorly; the SBs realize it themselves. They just think that because they are hot young meat they can get away with it. But they are wrong. In all seriousness, does this SB pair think that by begging they’d get me back? It just makes them sound desperate and even less attractive.

  668. lil'SB says:

    ElegantSugar, no I’ve made it explicitly clear I’m not looking for a LTR and he replied he’s also *currently* not looking for one either. However, his confirmation email for our friday plans sounds very final, as if his search is over (he gave me his phone number, said he’s cancelling his subscription and gave me his phone number and real life email). I also don’t think he knows I’m looking for an allowance, I simply said I want to be spoiled and never have to pay for anything and he said it’s fine, he usually pays for things anyways. Guess we never really had a proper conversation about that…so at this point I’m not even sure if I should consider him a potSD!

  669. Lily says:

    Elegant, on second thought, just forget what i say. I’m apparently a great big slut so just disregard all advice about letting your hormones take over. And any prudent, cautious, moralistic SBs on here who have some sort of convincing words of wisdom about keeping thy legs crossed, please speak up and maybe wednesday will be a bit slower day in terms of the action that my apartment is seeing!!!!! Embarassed sigh.

  670. ElegantSugar says:

    Ha ha. Funny, lil’SB…probably true. I think I’m playing with fire somewhat if I decide to go into an arrangement with him just because of our crazy, crazy and wild chemistry. It’s wonderful, but at the same time, it could turn into so much more. So, I will go home and spend the rest of the week to sort things out. We have been texting all day though about how we can’t wait to see each other again. ………….sigh.

  671. Lily says:

    Elegant, stop second guessing and just GO with the chemsitry. It’s the number one thing we are searching for in sugar dating OR regular dating so dont’ knock a gift horse in the mouth (wait, how does that saying go?).

    Ok, CA dreamin’ SB, if you wanna come, come!

    Of course you can stay two whole weeks, Cleo. I love playing hostess. I’m such the mama hen of my huge network of friends over here and I love doing it.

    lil’SB, yeah I hope so. Or maybe not. Maybe I want him to stay non-single and just sugar up my life and I could see myself dropping all other SDs for him. Actually, mentally I kinda already am dropping all my other SDs for him. But tomorrow I’ll be sober and wise.

  672. ElegantSugar says:

    lil’SB – what makes him a pseudo-SD? He wants LTR with you?

    Also, someone asked about the certified members? I have been contacted by two of them and didn’t follow up on either. I don’t know if they have this attitude of feeling like we should feel privileged they contacted us because they are diamond members and can say what they want, but please. NO WAY. NO THANKS. Not for me.

  673. lil'SB says:

    ElegantSugar, if it WAS like in the books, after you’ve run away, the crazy psycho wife who’s just been ditched comes after you with a butcher knife intent on eviscerating the both of you on your love bed =(

  674. lil'SB says:

    Hmm, I have a date this Friday with a single pseudo-SD (I don’t think he sees me as an SB…). He said he’s going to delete his account prior to our meeting, I’m starting to get wary…

  675. ElegantSugar says:

    cleo – yes, he is married. When he and I met initially just even online, it was instant chemistry. When he came to my emotional rescue last night and we met in person for the first time, it was NON-STOP fireworks!! If we hadn’t been in a public place, anything would have happened…out of pure desire on both parts…not for sugar or any other reason. We are so amazing attracted to one another -physically, intellectually, emotionally. It is one of those things you see in movies or read about in books. We would be “that couple” that runs off together after 3 days. Ha ha. (I’m much too logical for that though…now)

  676. CA Dreamin SB says:

    Lily – I’ll take Europe when I can get it! Besides, I love my winter wardrobe and it’s 70 degrees here today!!!

  677. lil'SB says:

    Oh. I see why there is a slightly better chance he’s quite serious about you then…

  678. ElegantSugar says:

    Well, MY Mr. Perfect is also married (not perfectly married), but still. I’m not here to change anyone’s entire life. So, he would certainly be my first pick as my SD (SO AMAZING), but in the same breath that I don’t want to change anyone’s life, I’m not here to set myself up to getting hurt either.

    One pot SD is Mr. McHottie and also perfect, but also single. I am a little scared of having a single SD too…

  679. cleo says:

    elegant is he married?

  680. Lily says:

    CA Dreamin SB — why would you love to visit? it’s freakin’ cold here right now. But maybe this summer.

    Cleo of COURSE I mean it. I love to have guests who speak native english.

    Lil’SB – he’s not actually married. They live together and are business partners. No rings, no kids. It’s slightly different.

  681. lil'SB says:

    Cleo, you should visit ME! Let’s meet up for a chat this week =D Can I get your email from someone?

  682. CA Dreamin SB says:

    Cleo – I wish I had that rule…trashed myself several times flying to Switzerland for the weekend when I was dating a guy a few years ago…

  683. Lily says:

    Elegant! We are both having the same problem! Sigh. What’s a girl to do when she is intent on sugar-dating and then mr. wonderful comes along….

  684. CA Dreamin SB says:

    90 days is better than nothing Lily! :) KIDDING, but, I would love to visit.

  685. cleo says:

    lily maybe i’ll take a cheap flight this summer… if you mean it, i’d love to visit but i have a rule, it’s only worth a flight to europe if you stay at least two weeks…

  686. lil'SB says:

    He’s also married at the moment Lily. Don’t count on anything, you’ve got more to lose here (emotionally) because he’s got a wife to fall back on.

  687. ElegantSugar says:

    Midwest – I don’t blog about my pots or SDs on my sugar and the city blog. I just come here and talk to you guys about it! :) The SD I decided to go with and deleted my profile for turned out to being a real whack job overly possessive, jealous rude man. I am still in touch with 3 other pots who know the whole story and have been so helpful and emotionally supportive over the ordeal. I am not putting my profile back up as I try to sort things out and probably start a relationship with one of these 3 other men. (too bad not ALL 3, they are so wonderful – but I am a 1 SD kind of girl for now…) 1 of the pots is in the same city I came to visit for three days. Met with him last night and it was AH-MAZING. We are both soooo very smitten. But I’m not sure because he is someone I could fall for IRL and he says the same about me. Gosh we are so perfect in so many ways….

  688. Lily says:

    CA Dreamin SB, but yeah without an EU passport your stay is limited to 90 days. Doesn’t help in a Euro-sugar-hunt. :( But come visit!!!!!!!!

  689. Lily says:

    lil’SB, um, if you knew how huge and amazing my apartment was, you would seriously hate me. It’s like living in a castle. and I have been paying this rent out of my own (well earned for being married to an asshole entrepreneur who bought me out of my share in his companies) money for 18 months! It hurts me now to think of all the cash I could have saved by getting in on the sugar action ages ago. WHy was I giving it away for free all that time when I could have had equally amazing and sexy lovers who would have covered my bills for me in addition to getting me off? I was frisky and seeking husband#2 and so clueless….

    but damn if HandsomSD who is not even an SD but only a pot in my dreams were to actually want to have a real relationship I would do it.

    I hate that! My being able to imagine us seriously together is probably the main problem here. I need to get that outta my head. But he seems to truly see that very clearly as well. Keeps going on and on about how typically he is soooooooooooooo picky about women and almost no one lives up to his standards and then is absolutely crazy insane about me and I can see that it’s not all lip service. The man is amazing in every way that a girl could measure a man. Of course he’s never had to settle. Sigh.

  690. ElegantSugar says:

    Lily – you sleeping with a guy you were already intimate a year ago (and that you did not meet on SA) does not make it a “test drive” at all, in my opinion. I think you are definitely a bit overzealous in your “freak mode” because it all just happened. Just soak it all in, relax, realize you are in an awesome position, bask in it and make some decisions tomorrow when the champagne is out of your head…and heart.

  691. CA Dreamin SB says:

    I have a passport :(

  692. Lily says:

    And yes, Cleo, you could have several SDs here. They seem to be aplenty.

  693. lil'SB says:

    Lily, how many bedrooms DO you have?

  694. lil'SB says:

    MMD says “It’s also nice to meet men of means who don’t expect you to go dutch on a date.” <– Truth, I say! This is the main problem I have with dating people my age. Unfortunately, I'm wondering if people pass over ME BECAUSE of my age (21) and hesitations about my maturity…double edged sword??

  695. Lily says:

    YES CLEO and CA Dreamin SB move to Helsinki!!!!

    Cleo, darlin, with an EU passport just COME ON OVER (a la Shania Twain’s lyrics) and you can sleep in one of my bedrooms.

  696. cleo says:

    MMD i changed my age back to 38 because of all the comments about ‘certain age’ sb’s looking for baby daddies. i’ll probably KEEP it at 38 for a few years though :)

  697. cleo says:

    Dreamin: yeah but i have eu citizenship

  698. CA Dreamin SB says:

    I think we’d all move to helsinki and live with Lily if she could hook us up! 😉

  699. Midwest Mistress of the Dark says:

    Evening sugars! I’ve only caught the first 50 or so posts on my BB, but have some thoughts:

    important is maturity for you in a potential sugar? Extremely important! I chose this option because it suits my desire for some independence with the bonus of great company on a regular basis. I have no use for drama, jealousy, men who are out to conquer every woman on the planet and boys looking for Mrs. Robinson. It’s also nice to meet men of means who don’t expect you to go dutch on a date.

    What questions should someone ask themselves before delving into the sugarbowl? Many of the answers I considered have been addressed. I do think the following apply as well: 1- Am I ready to “work” at this and 2- How well do I handle rejection? The reality is sugar dating is an art form and does not come easily…however the rewards can be spectacular! In the meantime, you are going to have terrible dates, amazing interactions, men who imply or flat out say you are an escort, and finally the amazing reward of a gentleman who offers advice, introductions, sugar, intimacy and a mature arrangement that meets or exceeds everyone’s expectations!

    Do you think everyone has what it takes (emotionally, physically) to be a sugar? Why or why not? I believe I’ve addressed the emotional aspect above. As for the physical, there is someone for everyone, so I say it’s all about the attitude baby!

    IRLSD- I have heard you ask the same questions in several different formats on several different blogs:
    1- I give her x more than allowance, but am not getting y
    2- She keeps logging in so I think she is still looking for other/more sds above our agreement
    3- Her toll pass shows her going through tolls at x time and y time, but it doesn’t add up to where she said she was going at x time.

    STOP KEEPING SCORE! Everyone has said it nicely in previous blogs and although you repeat the answer back, you do not seem to get it. I do understand the need to protect oneself. I’ve always said, if you continue with the same behavior, you will get the same results! If you do need an excuse to find a new sb, then cut to the chase and look for a new sb. If you want to make this work, stop overthinking every move she makes and assuming her intentions and accept that you are not going to be 100% certain of anything in the sd/sb world.

    Elegant – I didn’t see your weekend blog. Do I need to refresh? I’m sooooo glad there was redemption!

    Age- Everyone knows I do fudge my age to under 40 (I’m 42) to keep in the searches. I always disclose this quickly (along with the tattoo on my hip) and it has not backfired. I respect everyone’s viewpoints about honest, etc., but strictly see this as a marketing move.

  700. cleo says:

    lily i’ll move to helsinki and party with you if you find me a couple of sd’s. my exotic looks would go over a treat there i bet…

  701. cleo says:

    lily this might be a case of letting a fruit ripen on a vine. if he doesn’t offer a al irlsd then comment wistfully about the french practise of keeping a mistress with ‘keep’ being the key word

    or wait until it’s time to travel and mention your inability to come with because you have to work/pursue work because… did i mention my fabulous apartment?

    lol

  702. Lily says:

    Hey I lived in East Tennessee from ages 7-17 so I can do the southern drawl, NO PROBLEMS, sugahs… LMAO ( and I almost never type out LMAOs or LOLs because i don’t like them but I seriously am laughing out loud over here so I gotta!!!!!!)

    This freakin’ apartment is so damned huge and i love it so much. I seriously am living like a pampered princess but you know what? I feel like SUCH AN IDIOT paying the rent myself out of my divorce settlement for 18 months when apparently it’s the simplest thing ever to find a sexy SD to cover it for me. TWO WEEKS after hunting sugar in this city I found TWO SDs who are happy to pay it for me. I may just have gotten lucky ….or……… honest non-poof-daddy SDs are so easy to find here because it’s a very honest culture here. Do what they say and say what they mean kinda deal so not a lot of energy wasted on people just talkin’ crap to you and not following through. Two men have said “I’ll pay your bills if we go forward” and both those men have followed through with that within a few days. GOTTA LOVE THAT, right?
    Seems like north america SA potSDs are sooooooooo much harder to pin down on actual action on the financial assistance part.

  703. IRLSD says:

    Lily, I am not sure that by sleeping with someone IRL a girl ruins her chance of being his SB. With my IRL SB, who was my first SB, I was married and we fell for each other and I had all sorts of generous grandiose plans for her life but said nothing because I didn’t want it to feel like she was sleeping with me for the money. After we started having sex, I waited a few days and then I told her what I was going to provide for her. She never demanded it but never said no either and it was an amazing relationship–lots of sugar and lots of sex and lots of love.

  704. Lily says:

    LMAO As if I don’t have two other men at the ready to pay my rent!!! LMAO

    Cleo, I love you, that’s an excellent idea, seriously. I’m just laughing at what a big fat lie it would be to hint that I might have to give it up! Thanks for that, I needed a little chuckle.

    You’re right. The issue is that I do NOT want to be the stupid ‘other woman’ kinda smitten and kinda hoping he singles up. I would much much rather be his SB getting pampered and ‘kept’ in style, and I would be able to exhale and inhale and just be more blase about it because the roles would be clear and somehow ‘ok’ to me. I could enjoy the fun in the moment, be cool about his non-singleness, and focus on the present and the perks. I just need to somehow sell this to a hottie guy who has never in his life considered being an SD.

  705. lil'SB says:

    Yes, like cleo I’m just using you, Lily, for my drama fix…I’M sorry! ><

  706. lil'SB says:

    LOL @ “*sigh* your gorgeous apartment and how you hate to give it up…”

    Be sure to bat your lashes and twirl your hair around your finger! A pout would be cute too and say it with a cute southern accent!

  707. cleo says:

    oh lily don’t be sorry, i like getting my drama through you :)

  708. cleo says:

    lil’sb: i know right? it’s totally different from how i’m about to call lily babe…
    .
    lily honey that is what you tell him. you tell him you think that you want to hang out with him with all that that implies but that the only way you can EMOTIONALLY keep yourself safe is to do something that allows you to stay a bit separate from him… and if he saw his way clear to supporting you you would feel a lot better… that it would somehow make the emotional exchange safer for you

    so you won’t feel so much like a stupid ‘other woman’

    or don’t, just enjoy him and see what he does when you drop hints about *sigh* your gorgeous apartment and how you hate to give it up…

  709. lil'SB says:

    *Is jealous of Lily* I haven’t had a good romp in a long time…I’m glad you had fun, but I’m sorry it ended unpleasantly =( It always sucks when they have to go…

  710. Lily says:

    I’m sorry I’m freaking out. I’m sorry to add hysteria to this blog. I’m sorry. Like I said, I need to sober up and calm down and blow it all off. Cleo’s right. Whatever’s meant to happen will happen…

  711. Lily says:

    Yeah, lil’SB, it wasn’t any test drive. We have been there, done that, a year ago and we are sooooooooo good at it. Gosh darn.

    But I wanted him to stay the night. And he needed to go. And his phone was blowing up (ringing) and i assume it was his woman. Damn. I ended up feeling pissed and mad and unhappy that I got all sucked in, only to have him dress up and leave at 1-2am. Damn.

  712. lil'SB says:

    Oooh my god cleo, I HATE when they email me and call me ‘swetie’ or ‘bella’ or ‘hottie’ right off the bat or in reply emails.

  713. cleo says:

    lily one day at a time dear… come on, take a breath…

    whatever is meant to happen will okay?

  714. DC SB says:

    barbie, i’ll second lil’SB – sometimes I’d read a pot SD’s email and not respond for a few days (was never in a rush).

  715. Lily says:

    Damn it was a great 5 hours fooling around on my couch. Seriously.

    But shit. Shit! I thought that I was immune to him, emotionally speaking, nowadays. But he started up with all this serious talk, all this him&me being together stuff and it pressed my buttons and now I have this vision in the back of my mind about BEING with him if he was single and …..I didn’t want that! NSA!!! MBR!!! That’s what I’m about this year. Darn it!

  716. lil'SB says:

    Oh also Lily I wouldn’t call that a ‘test drive’, if you simply couldn’t contain yourself (naughty girl!) it’s just good old fashioned fun.

  717. sugarbarbie says:

    lol
    I’ll be more patient have to run to sally’s anyway. Got that meeting in the morning!

  718. cleo says:

    sugarbarbie to date like three men have answered my emails all with some variation of ‘no thanks babe’

    um don’t call me babe. ew

  719. Lily says:

    Glasses *are* so hot!!!!! They sure are.

    I’m disappointed right now because I thought I could play this all cool and push this into a sugar relationship since he’s not single but now I think I just lost all leverage by putting out. And…. I don’t even really care, it was so nice. But then again I kinda care because i want him to be my SD, not just a non-single guy who is screwing around with me. Sigh.

  720. CA Dreamin SB says:

    AND – might I say – WOW, 5 HOURS!!! :)

  721. lil'SB says:

    sugarbarbie, he could just be very busy. Sometimes I read emails and reply a few hours later because I only have a few minutes to check email. Have a bit of patience.

    Of course I’ve also had my fair share of poof daddies who read my awesomely long and eloquent answers and I never hear from them again…maybe if I mention I also have a thigh-high-stocking-wearing fetish they will come back…

  722. cleo says:

    lily i think it might be okay, and if not? best five hours ever right?

  723. Lily says:

    You’re right. I had too much champagne and I’m just all in a tizzy. Too many men being way more into me than I expected, for a random tuesday.

    need to sober up and calm down and play it cool with everyone….

  724. CA Dreamin SB says:

    Grain of salt Lily…I’m with the naturally skeptical crowd, but I don’t know this guy. I would say don’t worry about a conflict of sugar / IRL relationships until it happens. You can drive yourself crazy with the what-ifs

  725. lil'SB says:

    (OT: I have a huge fetish for older men with glasses. Glasses are SO HOT).
    Phew, just needed an outlet for that. Please, don’t let me disturb you, continue~

  726. sugarbarbie says:

    *Probably*

  727. sugarbarbie says:

    :( Just saw that a SD I contacted read my email with no reply. :( I really liked his profile. Probable because the distance…yeah that’s what I’m telling myself.

  728. Lily says:

    I don’t know. I really don’t. He still LIVES WITH his girlfriend/business partner of TEN YEARS. That would take awhile to sort out. But it’s been ages since they’ve had any romance between them (so he says) so he’s about at the end of his rope and ready to pull the plug unless it destroys the business…. sigh.

  729. lil'SB says:

    Whoa, Lily I would say resist the temptation to be take what he says at face value. Perhaps I’m a bit jaded but if you don’t set your expectations too high you won’t be disappointed if anything goes wrong. And perhaps it may be to your advantage if you play it coy and don’t let on that you’re so excited.

  730. DC SB says:

    A certified member messaged me as well.. but I didn’t respond beyond his initial email, so not sure if he’s coockoo or what.
    In *my* opinion, the certified members seem a bit… well, I am very wary.

    Lily, if he doesn’t even realize he’s a pot, I doubt he will switch into sugar-mode, but more into what you two had before-mode.

  731. CA Dreamin SB says:

    If he does want to be in a traditional relationship with you – does it have to be exclusive immediately? Would he expect that?

  732. CA Dreamin SB says:

    I’m awake Lily

  733. Lily says:

    Wait, I just realized how retarded that sounded. It’s 2am here but NOT in North America!!!!!!! Of course ya’ll aren’t asleep. Sigh. I’ll continue banging my head against the wall over here……

  734. Lily says:

    Cleo we had the best five hours on my couch *ever*…. geeeezus.

    Sigh. So skilled.

    SIGH!!!!!!!!!

    The reason this sucks is that I told him that last year when we fooled around, it meant something to me and it threw his head for a loop and he was all, “I never knew… I thought *you* were a player and it was all just games….. now that I know it changes everything…” and all stroking my cheek and intense and staring and telling me that he has so much to think about and this is a time of great change and blah blah blah

    he could have so easily just been saying that but what if he’s not bullshitting me and is actually thinking about a relationship with me?

    Could I do that? He is everything I’d want out of a traditional relationship with a man. How could I turn it down if he wants one? But I am *loving* the sugar ride, right now.

    I was on a date with SafetyNetGuy this afternoon and I talked to my ex-husband on the phone and it was amazing. We connected amazingly. *THAT* is throwing my head for a loop.

    I need someone on this blog to be awake. Cleo, are you here? I’m *FREAKING OUT* here…….

  735. sugarbarbie says:

    i jealous, i want a great evening right about now lol.

  736. Lily says:

    I know I know I know I know!!!!!!!

    It was HandsomeSD. I’m *hoping* the rules are different because he has no idea we are pre-arrangement or what an arrangement even is. He’s just a rich older gentleman who I have pegged as a potSD, who is crazy about me and not single.

    Sigh.

    But god our evening was great.

  737. cleo says:

    was it at least a good ride?

    [too soon? lol]

  738. CA Dreamin SB says:

    NO Lily! I’m sorry :(

  739. Lily says:

    Oh god. Thou shalt not sleep with a pot, pre arrangement. Thou shalt not!!!!! No free test drives, no free test drives…No free test drives, no free test drives…No free test drives, no free test drives…No free test drives, no free test drives…No free test drives, no free test drives…No free test drives, no free test drives…No free test drives, no free test drives…No free test drives, no free test drives…No free test drives, no free test drives…No free test drives, no free test drives…

    Wish it wasn’t a few hours too late to say this to myself!!!!!!!!!!

  740. NYCBella says:

    No prob, OC helps keep us all in contact when we need to discuss off the blog or organize meets, etc…

  741. xoxoalexxx says:

    Who’s OC…? Haha, sorry I’m new to this. Thank you NYCBella :-)

  742. NYCBella says:

    NM~I knew the SDs were suddenly uncommonly quiet…ahhhh, now I know why… 😉

  743. NYCBella says:

    Xoxo~I have, but not sure if it’s the same…OC can you give xoxo my email and we’ll discuss off the blog

  744. xoxoalexxx says:

    Hm…maybe I read it on someone’s blog, haha. Thanks anyways

  745. Naughty Molly says:

    I can’t give you any advice on that XOXO. I have never spoken to or met a diamond member.

  746. xoxoalexxx says:

    Hello :) I remember awhile back, I read someone’s post about how she went on a date with a certified diamond daddy, and he tried to take advantage of her the first time they met….I just made an account here and one just messaged me. I’m sort of hesitant…

  747. Naughty Molly says:

    Sorry Bella, I haven’t gaged anyone lately…well, none of the girls anyway. 😉

  748. NYCBella says:

    Hmmm…sugars are awful quiet…Naughty Molly, have you been using ur gags lately?

  749. sugarbarbie says:

    echo echo echo…ok going sugar hunting

  750. sugarbarbie says:

    oops meant to say want to do it all the time

  751. sugarbarbie says:

    At your peak…does that mean what to do it all the time or what?

  752. Jayde5502 says:

    Back again! I want to address the questions. I still consider myself somewhat new, so answering questions can be difficult for me.

    How important is maturity for you in a potential sugar?

    Maturity is very important to me in a potential sugar. To date, I seem to easily make friends with people who are younger than me. Hence, my maturity level is not where it should be. I believe that hanging around mature people rubs off on you, much like with precocious children. I want my sd to be someone for me to look up to. I am definitely into the whole mentor vibe, but I do need to know the person and be fond of them for anything to stick…Nobody likes a lecture :p

    What questions should someone ask themselves before delving into the sugarbowl?

    Can I deal with rejection easily? Am I resilient? (Since I am still here, answer = yes I am!)

    Do you think everyone has what it takes (emotionally, physically) to be a sugar? Why or why not?

    No I do not. I feel that the people in the sugarbowl (well I guess I should say the blog) are the best when it comes to emotional intelligence and it has helped me develop my own. You have to be open and fairly direct to be in this world. I don’t think a lot of people have those abilities. People I know are very all about traditional relationships and how that is supposed to be how it is supposed to be, ’50s kinda thing. There’s nothing wrong with that. The sugarbowl can’t and doesn’t exist to them.

    My $0.02. With all the cents in here I wonder how much cash we’d raise!

  753. NYCBella says:

    DC thought she had me good and bound, but alas, her shibari was only sub-par…time to switch things up… 😉

  754. CA Dreamin SB says:

    And again, chased everyone away!

  755. NYCBella says:

    Hello, naughty little children, looks like there’s been lots of playing while Miss has been away…tsk, tsk…

  756. CA Dreamin SB says:

    Have I missed much? Just got back from my workout!

  757. sugarbarbie says:

    Yea! I hope so lol

  758. Anna Molly says:

    Sugarbarbie – I think you should play it by ear. Since he is a LDSD the rules could be different.

  759. sugarbarbie says:

    TT- lol I’m trying to not have sex with him…but I really think I wanna. But I heard if you have sex with a guy too soon it kinda spoils the build up and he’ll lose interest. I’m sure this is still true with a SD

  760. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:

    sugarbarbie – entice him with skiing? A warm fire, wine and bear skinned rugs?? lol…since you can’t keep your hands off of him already of course 😉 definitely not advocating anything here lol

  761. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:

    Ok ladies and gents..perhaps when I caught up I was in a sleepy state and missed something…how did the CA meet go??? Fill me in!!

  762. sugarbarbie says:

    I have to convince him to fly from his wonderful warm and exciting town and come visit my boring cold town first…hmmm?

  763. TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz) says:

    Cleo – you have mail my dear :)

    I see I caught up and convo slows down :( Lol…I think we should refer to this phenomenon as “Blog’s Law”

  764. sugarbarbie says:

    I have POT that I think is so hot(according to his photos) westcoastPOT I am afraid that when we meet I will not being able to keep myself from jumping on him. I’m sure sex on the first meeting would ruin things.

  765. xoxoalexxx says:

    Jayde5502, was his name Chas? Same thing happened to me…

    Hi everyone :)

  766. always2sweet says:

    I’m off to the studio to work on a sculpture I am SO behind on…fun fun. I’ll catch up with you sweets later

  767. always2sweet says:

    *How important is maturity for you in a potential sugar?*

    Maturity is probably one of the top 3 things I look for in a po SD. I hate when I read a 40y/o mans profile and it says ‘Im 40 but Im really 25 on the inside’ that is an immediate red flag and SUPER turn off for me. Dont get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with having a youthful outlook on life, and still feeling very vibrant and fun no matter what your age. That said, if I wanted a 25y/o man I would date a 25y/o man! In an SD I am looking for something more than a person my own age has to offer on SO many levels. So any man who can identify with men in their mid to early 20’s that I am not at all attracted to is a problem. And to me it shows a huge lack of maturity on the SDs part, and somewhat of a midlife or identity crisis.

    *What questions should someone ask themselves before delving into the sugarbowl?*

    I think the biggest question, for me atleast is whether or not I know who I am and what I REALLY want, not what I think I want. Also one should ask am I willing to have a recipricol relationship/arrangement with a pot SD. Whatever the terms of that agreement may be, I think both parties should probably have a strong sense of self and what they want, before trying to project any wants or desires onto another person. So I would say Who am I? What do I want? and What am I willing to give to another? are 3 big ones I ask myself

    *Do you think everyone has what it takes (emotionally, physically) to be a sugar? Why or why not?*

    No, no no. I think there are some who just have it in them, from somewhere or something in life they were just made to be sugars, and then I think there are those of us who are willing to explore not only the notion, but the real aspects of this lifestyle and make genuine efforts at being a part of it, and then there are always those who want pay for play, girls who think they deserve the world for breathing in someones directions, and the ones who are just lost, and maybe arent even ready for “normal” dating let alone sugar dating. As far as the physical goes, there is something for everyone, and who says an SD wouldnt help you with physical aspects if that was what you wanted. I think there may be a bit more of a search to be had for those who are “perfect” buy whoevers standards, but just by reading the blog and being around the site for a while, the physical is important no doubt, but there seem to be far more deal breakers in areas such as personality and sometimes general common sense.

    thats just my $.02

  768. LASB says:

    Since no one but SDN and I care about our silly reindeer games, I’m gonna step out for my workout so you can resume relevant sugar talk.

    SDN, if you ever want to talk shop, you are welcome to email me off the blog. And yes, you are obviously in need of some serious discipline.

  769. DC SB says:

    It’s my fault. I lured NYC SB back to my hotel and have kept her under lock and key since. Bella I let post a comment or two on occasion.
    MUAHAHA.

  770. SD NEOhio (SDN) says:

    LASB: I am hoping it is!!!

  771. LASB says:

    SDN: So I see your game. A subbie baiting a Domme. You know that’s a punishable offense, right?

    Anna Molly – What’s the weird fetish Cleo was speaking of? Inquiring minds want to know.

  772. LASB says:

    SDN: Ooooohhhhhhh. You just got A LOT more interesting!!! *grinning*

  773. Anna Molly says:

    Hmmmm, I’m a total sub and that’s all I’m going to say on this subject.

  774. SD NEOhio (SDN) says:

    LASB: Oh i saw it…why you think I am flirting with you now * blushing *

  775. LASB says:

    SDN – I know about both, actually. I guess you missed the convo between the blogger formally known as Taylor. I will force you to do anything that lives up the the SSC credo. However, the “sane” part is always up for debate. hehe.

  776. LASB says:

    I’m going to refrain from polluting the blog. This IS about sugar, after all. hehe. (Pleading the 5th!!!) Anyhow, photo, SDN, CADreamin, and I shared our fetishes. What are yours?

  777. SD NEOhio (SDN) says:

    LASB: So you know a lot about Dommes do you? Or more about submissives? Hmmmm….buy you dinner? Or would you rather force me to buy for you?

  778. photogirl says:

    LASB – I am with SDN… A to Z please :)

  779. sugarbarbie says:

    LASB – thanks pass the bottle.

  780. SD NEOhio (SDN) says:

    CA Dreamin: I misunderstood. Sounded kind of freaky even for you…I mean me…ummm…ok you wear the heels :)

    cleo: I like the way you think. The color for the mani/pedi should match the VS we picked out for her earlier.

  781. LASB says:

    Hi Sugarbarbie! Welcome to the party. Cheers! (glasses clinking)

  782. LASB says:

    SDN — Looks like you’ve been hanging out with too many Dommes. HAHAHAHAHA!

  783. LASB says:

    I don’t care who wears the shoes in bed, so long as they end up in MY shoe closet in the morning.

  784. sugarbarbie says:

    Finally finished my paper work and OMG I missed lots of hot topics!

  785. SD NEOhio (SDN) says:

    LASB: Oooohhhh babbyy. Sounds fun but with my luck you will lean in seductively, your hand brushing mine, and your hot breath will reach my ear just before you say “no”.

  786. cleo says:

    sdn: don’t forget the side by side mani/pedis where you pick her colours…

  787. CA Dreamin SB says:

    No SDN! ME wearing the shoes…YOU wearing them would be a distinct turn-off!!! No matter how lovely your legs are

  788. SD NEOhio (SDN) says:

    CA Dreamin: I don’t think your shoes will fit me but if that is what turns you on I will wear them…

  789. LASB says:

    Come to the LA meet and I will whisper back my answer.

  790. CA Dreamin SB says:

    I second LASB’s post, however, he must also not mind me wearing my lovely louboutins in bed. NOW who is going to be arrested by the TMI police??? :)

  791. SD NEOhio (SDN) says:

    LASB: * stage whisper * Call me

  792. LASB says:

    Haha SDN. Great minds think alike.

  793. LASB says:

    Well, if you really want to get me worked up, just be an older, fit, accomplished gentlemen who is enthusiastic about shoe shopping, travel, music cooking gourmet meals, and talking dirty.

    (OK, now is the TMI police going to arrest me?)

  794. SD NEOhio (SDN) says:

    If any SB would like to help me with my fetishes please contact me directly. I will keep your secret desire to be spoiled and pampered between us.

  795. SD NEOhio (SDN) says:

    OK I will start. I love to spoil SB’s. Yes it is true, I am a closet SB spoiling freak. Please don’t judge me.

    I also love to see my woman wear louboutins I bought, get massages I provide, and breakfast in bed (with me of course).

  796. CA Dreamin SB says:

    SDN – We scared JSO away…now YOU get to go first