8 years ago
Sugar Hero’s & Health Care Arrangements?

8 years ago
Sugar Hero’s & Health Care Arrangements?

Whether you’ve been dating in the Sugarbowl for a while now, or you’re just starting out, somewhere along the way, you may be lucky enough to find a sugar hero.

Sugar Daddy: “My Sugar Baby did what none of my ex-wives could do; get me to work out. She and I go to the gym together 3 times a week, and it’s actually become quite an essential part of the arrangement for me.”

The Sugar Daddy Option?

Some Sugar Daddies have found ways to provide Sugar Babies with a health insurance option of their own… and health care providing daddies are in high demand.

“Well, she was a single mother, and I like her, and those people usually need a little more help, so I opened a bank account for her, (her name only, i don’t risk my own self) and i made deposits arranged bill pay for the car, rent, health insurance, bills etc, and tution. she just needed to manager her own credit cards with her job money.. She still had her own bank account other than the citi account.” – TexaSD

“health insurance pay would be a good asset. I don’t have insurance and have not been to a doctor since my daughter was born 17 years ago, and then I only went when I was in labor, no prenatal care at all and she was born healthy with no problems so health insurance would be ok but I would prefer shopping.” – Lisa

Has a sugar helped you in a special/unique way? Do you have a sugar hero?

Should Health Care be part of a Sugar Daddy/Sugar Baby arrangement? Why or why not?


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632 Responses to “Sugar Hero’s & Health Care Arrangements?”

  1. Health care? More like an insurance? LOL

  2. Hi Sugars! My bff is in town, so we are enjoying some quality Fall time at the Wineries and Chicago.

    NYC SB – I hope your book is right. So far, I’m getting decent inquiries and still have a date for the 5th. All from Chi town.

    Anna – have a fantastic time in the city. I’m officially jealous!

    SDs – amazing insight into your marriages…thank you. A lack of physical desire in mine led me to throw in the towel. We didn’t have kids, so it was easier. It’s amazing how one aspect plays such a vital role in a marriage.

    BTW – There’s a new blog posted. I’ll be in lurkdom.

    Lots of sugar!

    XOXO
    NSB

  3. Ms Behavin~389197 says:

    Wow took a while to catch up.That will teach me to be gone for two days.

    Hello everyone

  4. Rachel 386002 says:

    Hey guys and gals… I’ve been reading the posts for a few days, but haven’t chimed in yet. I’m a newbie SB. Haven’t found a connection yet, but have learned what I DON’T want…. LOL. I’ll be on the blogs daily… so you’ll get to know me! If you’d like, check out my profile and by all means comment away… you can’t hurt my feelings. :)

  5. AtlNicole says:

    Hello all you Lurkers. I am sure that everyone had something better to do on a Friday night. A friend gave me all the seasons of Greys Anatomy and borrwed my seasons of House, so I am gonna make some pop corn and start watching.

  6. Hey Taz, Fab. to hear all went well.

    I am staying in lurkdom today, feeling off.

    enjoy your weekend.

  7. Taz says:

    I had a wonderful time on my date this afternoon!! A true gentleman in all regards :) too bad he is only here temporarily :(….sooo NE Ohio – if you know of any wonderful SD’s interested in a long distance arrangement – VC and BG have my addy! :)

    Happy Weekend to everyone!!

  8. Jasmine says:

    where is everyone today? i think they went into lurking… :)

  9. Yes, It sounds like you are going to have a great time while you are there

  10. Anna Molly says:

    Wow, thanks for all of the wonderful suggestions. It will be hard to choose!

  11. Jasmine says:

    hello everyone good afternoon raining here in chi town

  12. NYGent says:

    Anna: I agree with walking from Penn Station to Grand Central via Times Square, weather permitting, just wasn’t sure how much you’d be carrying (but I guess you’re going back same day so can’t be too much).

    NY Public Library main reading room is indeed awesome, and you might be able to see it (and times Square) even before lunch on your way to Grand Central.

    I would save the Met and Hi-Line for another trip. MOMA is doable if you’re into modern art and they have a nice (though small) Monet exhibition currently playing (although the museum is closed tuesdays which I think is when you are traveling).

  13. Flo Rida says:

    NYC SB – I can’t believe we both recommended NY Library. I just walked past it 10mins ago.

  14. you are more then welcome hun, 😀 glad I was able to find them for you.

  15. Flo Rida says:

    Anna Molly – if you like art I would recommend any one of the Met, Guggenheim, Museum of Modern Art, Frick depending upon your interests – drawback is that these are all Upper East Side oriented. I agree with St Paddys, Rockefeller Center & Empire St. Building. The NY Library is also close to GCS & Penn if you’re interested in books there’s also a nice ‘square’ around it. There’s also a skytram to Roosevelt Island around 3rd strret(?) in Midtown which gives great views. If you have some time the High Line is the new ‘trendy’ tourist attraction (disused rail line) but that’s near Meatpacking district. My brain is fried so forgive the errors above.

  16. Beach_Girl*395953 says:

    Lady 8~ thank you!

    See you all later, off to get some really cold air!!! have a great afternoon all!

  17. I will keep it on till you are done.
    So don’t worry.

  18. Since my son has been watching Ni-Hao Kia Lan I have been picking up on my chinese again. And he even has said a few words. 😉

    Miss having someone to practice with. Haven’t really spoken it since I broke up with my ex.

  19. NYC SB says:

    NEOhio – sent you an email to your yahoo account :)

    P.S according to the Sugar Daddy 101 book Chicago SDs are supposed to be the best ones

  20. Beach_Girl*395953 says:

    Lady 8 ~ how long are you going to keep them on the file sharing thing? I am downloading a book and it’s taking for ever here, and doing too many things at once lol…. i should get the book tonight though, i’ll let you know when i did~

  21. NYC SB says:

    Anna – As you have some free time on your hands rather than taking a cab I would walk from Penn Station (34th and 8th) to Grand Central (42nd and Vanderbuild) … this way you walk in the heart of Time Square and get to see all the tourists taking pictures.

    As for after lunch NYGents suggestions are great. PS. The NYC public library is on 42nd and 5th and thats a real gem to see :)

  22. Anna Molly says:

    Thanks NYGent :)

  23. NYGent says:

    Anna it depends on how much time you have. I assume GCT means Grand Central Station (which is a short, $5-7 cab ride from Penn Station –I recommend it).

    At Grand Central you will not be far (10 minute or so walk) from Rockefeller Center, Saks and St. Patrick’s Cathedral (plus other 5th Ave shopping). That would probably be your best bet. If you’re into heights Empire State Bldg is about ten minutes away in the other direction from Grand Central.

  24. you are welcome.

    I have all 3 series. With the pdf books and the mp3 audio lessons with mp3 readings, but have to load the mp3 lessons individually as they are space hogs and the free file place I found has limits to how large a file can be uploaded.

    But the first one should keep you busy for a long while.

  25. VillaCypris says:

    NeOhio SB says:
    October 23, 2009 at 2:42 pm
    BG~~ OH NO…Major typo….I meant VC has the cream of the crop IRL SD….(singular not plural)……..lol

    hehehehehehe…. that’s right! a one woman man! 😀

  26. NeOhio are any of your SD friends looking for SB in vegas? 😉

  27. Beach_Girl*395953 says:

    NeOhio SB~ Lol , yeah I got the error, laughed a little… well you can always see my profile here and I will send you a hello email….

    Lady 8~ yes, i will check …. I can’t wait to see the course!!! YAY Thank you 😀

  28. NeOhio SB says:

    BG~~ OH NO…Major typo….I meant VC has the cream of the crop IRL SD….(singular not plural)……..lol

  29. NeOhio SB says:

    BG~~ I will absolutley keep you in mind. VC has the cream of the crop IRL SDs that I am hoping transpires into something phenominal for her…once the connection is made between them this coming week.
    However, the hedgie Chitown guy business acq. of mine who is seeking a SB specifically in NYC..that is why i contacted NYC SB as i know she is there. However, i have a slew of business acquaintances and contacts that may just may be seeking arrangements. You can get my email from VC…and contact me if you wish.
    And NO>>>I Don’t seek out SDs for SBs as my profession IRL…just in the business and finance world know alot of pot SDs….
    Ciao

  30. You have email BG. Finally finished uploading the course for you. is rather large.

  31. Beach_Girl*395953 says:

    NeOhio SB~ I’m not in NYC, but I’m not too far! VC has my email, if ever you may think of an SD for me!!!

  32. Anna Molly says:

    I have my train ticket to NYC for the 27 will be getting to Penn Station at 10:45 am. I’m supposed to meet the pot for lunch around noon at GCT. Would taking a cab be my best bet? What am I going to do between the end of our lunch date and my returning train? Any ideas? What is a must do? I’ve only been to the city twice in my whole life (that was a long time ago) so I would love to check out one tourist spot while I’m there :)

  33. NYC SB says:

    CB – went above your head lol… its only 2 work weeks… :)

  34. CrèmeBruléeNY says:

    top o’ the noon to all.

    NYC SB – I don’t recall authorizing a 3-wk absence.

  35. Happy Lurker says:

    Yes Anna,
    I agree Pobody is Nerfect !
    As to the question if any SD had paid for a disfigurement operation for the SB (oversized chest) I remember it well. The SB had the job done and the SD paid. Then she told the SD she was not into him any more.
    Like in a Shakespearian Tragedy, “der Mohr hat seine Tat getan, der Mohr kan gehen”. He was dismissed.
    He felt scammed and reacted furiously. This SB complained that he behaved so unjust…….
    The remark about a man and his girth, was a real hoot.
    Everytime I am in the States, I just see thousands of obese women in the streets. And I really mean OBESE !
    In the Far East to have a fat wife means that the hubby is rich. There is more than enough money to gorge on food. But in the States ?
    To be honest, it was a real eye-opener to read that being intimate with a married man, his allowance is a sort of fine. Why else would you like to be intimate with a married man ?!
    I myself do not fall into that category, but I think the remark is shameful.
    In my perception it is to meet a person who will be at ease with me, in the sunshine of my smile, so to speak.
    For me it as all about the pleasure of your company.
    In that frame of mind I can be meaningful in some else’s life.
    Life is not about yourself.
    Life is about what you can mean to the other, joy and sharing it.
    It has to do with the French notion “Le qualite’ de la Vie”.
    There is much in mine. How about yours ?

  36. NYC SB says:

    Hi Lady… how are you?

  37. Good Morning ladies and gents.

    Just catching up on the blog. though I will refrain from commenting on the previous topics that were posted while I was away.

    Anyways how is everyone doing?

  38. NYC SB says:

    NEOhio – will get ur email from VC and email you :)

  39. NYC SB says:

    Cat – what a gent… thats awesome… i remember when i got my 4 wisedom teeth taken out… swolen face for 2 weeks… it was embarassing to go to work and school … i looked like droopy

  40. Anna Molly says:

    A person can have drama going on at any age. It doesn’t matter if you are 20, 30, 40, the fact of the matter is we’re all human and we all have our own set of issues. SD can be drama kings just as much as SB can be drama queens. No body is perfect :)

  41. SincereSD says:

    Kit-Kat*367987* says: ok Sinsere I made you a scedule lol I think we will move you South ward You will have 2 weeks with VC, then Lannie then bostonsuga then Nyc then Gemi then Rita*shes in Va*NeOhio Atl Nic then youll come to fla Thats Sweetred Me and Photo then youll do the Miami circut! then Off to Texas’s Sb’s and to Cali! then the mid west on your way back home mind you we are just here to show you how Real mentally stable women function! No Sex Allowed or Nsa its up to you!!

    KK, I’m not sure I would survive a trip with that itinerary … NSA (No sex allowed or otherwise)! I’m a one woman man and would have a tough time choosing between all the wonderful SB’s on the blog.

    CrèmeBruléeNY says: SincereSD – You’re fired!

    From being a SD? I took a 6 month hiatus from the SB lifestyle and seriously considered finding a mistress instead. Finally decided to get back in and conduct an extensive search …. and look what (who) I ended with.

    NewTXSB says:
    October 21, 2009 at 5:32 pm

    “Ms Behavin~389197 says: Probly gonna get yelled at for this one….but maybe some of the SD here should move there age preference up a tad. As a SB a bit older (and some of the others here are too)—no disrespect to my fellow sisters on here of the younger age group, they seem to have it all together–but we dont seem to have some of the drama problems,and we seem to enjoy the bedroom activities.But thats just me I may be speaking out of turn…but we all get a voice on here.”

    With all due respect, I have found more drama with SB in the 30’s age range. I have to run for my flight but will explain later.

  42. Beach_Girl*395953 says:

    Cat~ wow, that is such a great sugar story!!! how are you sweetie?

  43. Cat says:

    NYGent: I would prefer knowing ASAP if a man is not interested in me. Even if it’s before we even get to dinner. Think about it…I got all done up and I’m about to waste my time going on a date with someone who isn’t going to make a contribution to my life. I could just as well turn around, get on my cell and set up another date with someone and maybe not waste the pretty…And that applies to regular dating as well. For me. But nobody does that…it’s quite harsh, although more efficient.

    Ever seen the invention of lying? I wish we were like that…lol.

  44. Beach_Girl*395953 says:

    Sincere~ yeah I know, the snow!!! but today is somewhat sunny… well until the rain gets here…. are you still in town?
    Le Blanc on St-Laurent,,, very nice! Verse, in the old port has a great view from the terrace in the summer! I guess you must be old fashioned! Do you speak french?

  45. lisa says:

    Cat that’s a true sugar story :)

  46. SincereSD says:

    Good day all. I’ve been away traveling and now trying to catch up on. Lots to read on comment on later.

    BG, I must say the weather sucked in Mtl yesterday. I rather have had a nice dinner at Le Blanc or Verse instead of having to entertain business associates at some “gentlemens” club. I guess I must be old fashioned because I’m probably one of the few men who don’t enjoy going to those places … and it’s always a hassle to claim expenses afterwards. :S

  47. Cat says:

    I don’t have a sugar daddy, but I have been chatting with this one guy for about 6months and last August, a wisdom tooth impacted and got infected, then before I knew it, my face was swollen and even with antibiotics, it wasn’t getting better. Now, I did have health insurance, but it only covered a small portion of the surgery that I needed to remove all of my wisdom teeth. I was in no position to pay for any of it, but I couldn’t keep looking like a monster…so I asked my friend and that’s how he became my sugar hero :) I had never met him before, but he showed up at my work (I had to still work with the swollen face, imagine that) and handed me a plain white envelope with 2k in it. Just like that. Of all the men who wanted to be with me, none offered to pay or asked if I needed any help. None.

    I came up with 1k to give back to him, because that’s what I feel is the right thing to do, but he told me to put it towards a security deposit because he knows I am moving to another city and he wants the best for me. He is an amazing friend and I feel very fortunate to have a sugar hero.

    Cat

  48. en(dot) gravatar(dot) com

    it works on all blog icons

  49. NeOhio SB says:

    NYC~ Im with you on the weak in the knees part…but does more to me than just that :) Running out to a finance board meeting……Would appreciate your help in finding him a good SB in NYC..( i have no doubt you have great prospects)…ummm…but don’t have your email….If it wasn’t for the fact i am overly content with my great…no..take that back….fantastic SD…id hop on that opportunity….but i don’t multitask nor have the need or desire to have any others. Ive got the best of the best SD right now….and totally focused.

    Have a great Sugar Friday all………Hoping OC is doing okay today…I am sure all of our positive thoughts from the blog have helped her. ( or at least hope so)

    VC~~ TTYL….ciao bella.

  50. anonymous92019*397790* says:

    Hello Everyone!

    Still catching up on the blog chatter so I dont have any comments to make yet. I’m sure everyone is looking forward to my two cents. lol.

    Can anyone tell me how you get the little pictures in your comment box?

  51. Beach_Girl*395953 says:

    NeOhio SB~ I think we would be all interested!!! VC has my mail…

    Hello sugars!

  52. VillaCypris says:

    😀

    I am hoping as well! All my positive energy is being channeled in that direction…. 😉

  53. NeOhio SB says:

    VC~~~ Im in the Firenze mentality mode…still thinking of oil..not leaf…HA… I have plenty of good olive oil….but per your recommendation…will get the “leaf”. Fingers going faster than my mind.
    Glad you are feelin better…..Could be an interesting week next week for you….At least Im hoping…:)

  54. NYC SB says:

    NEOhio – hedgie you say… that makes me weak in the knees… i have SB friends email me and maybe we can help him out

  55. VillaCypris says:

    Oh good. Glad to hear that! It’s olive *leaf* extract…. don’t want you to buy the wrong one!!!!! :)

  56. NeOhio SB says:

    NYC~ Totally understand the sugar pad…Glad to hear Daddy Waldorf takes care of you …ummm..very well….!!!…But i do know of a great hedgie seeking a SB in the area….if there are any takers, let me know.

    VC~~~ Eyes are much much better…haven’t even done the olive oil extract yet…but i do know im heading to Boston w/SD next Tues…so im staying out of all virus contaminated places until then.

  57. NYC SB says:

    Daddy Waldorf resides in NYC… however maintains a residence at the Waldorf so he can work and ummm “entertain” … its his sugar pad :)

  58. VillaCypris says:

    HA! NeOhio!

    I was just about to write… per Ne’s suggestion, we should have it BYOCG!!!

    AND was just writing you an email.

    ESP! 😀

  59. NeOhio SB says:

    VC~ Ill up that to Gilson if you will let me in too :)

  60. NeOhio SB says:

    Buon giorno all!

    I must say, this is great friday blog bantering going on here between VC`NYC`NYgent………

    NYC~~ Just got off the phone with a business acq. hedgie from chitown…who happens to be in NY all the time…and is a “waldorf” guy..Does your Daddy Waldorf reside in Chicago by chance?

  61. VillaCypris says:

    hahahah… i have LP to bring as well…. 😉

    i’m IN!

  62. NYC SB says:

    NYGent its BYOLP – Bring your own La Perla… its a good deal for you… plus intimacy is non negotiable… overall a good deal for you :)

  63. VillaCypris says:

    hmmmmmmmmm….. i do have a bottle which i could bring…..

  64. NYGent says:

    well now unless it’s B.Y.O. Krug it’ll have to be $300 (“open-negotiable”)

  65. NYC SB says:

    hmm… maybe we can just take the party at NYGents place… since he only wants $200 and can host… the waldorf suite runs more than that …

  66. VillaCypris says:

    nooooooooo….. let’s have suite service…. a magnum of Krug 1990 and fresh blackberries… and… always compliments, never complaints 😉

  67. NYC SB says:

    oooo … now do you require dinner… bc thats kinda pricy at the waldorf… if you do i expect your perfomance to be stellar… 😛

  68. VillaCypris says:

    VC – ok… since im not loving the shoes you can have them… glad i wasted $1450 on them … grrrr

    Why, thank you! In return, we can have some ‘adult fun’ @ the waldorf… i’ll even waive the aforementioned $50 …. :)

  69. NYC SB says:

    NY Gent – sure … how about you go an apply for a net spend card and i will retroactively pay you… alternatively i can add you to my payroll

    VC – ok… since im not loving the shoes you can have them… glad i wasted $1450 on them … grrrr

  70. Gemini29 says:

    Good luck Taz! 😀

  71. VillaCypris says:

    Good luck Taz! hope it goes ‘swimmingly’… ahahah :)

  72. Taz says:

    Eeeek! Off for my date!…and of course – it is raining sadly :( NOT wearing my hair down today…

  73. Gemini29 says:

    NYC SB – Well duh. 😉

  74. NYC SB says:

    Gemi – of course NYC… not bc the pot is there but bc IM there…

  75. NYGent says:

    NYC SB: hey I’d like in on that but since I live here and don’t need a hotel room I’ll take $200 ok?

  76. VillaCypris says:

    NYC – I’ll take $50 and the babel boots 😉

    Lisa – have a good day! Glad you beat the flu. And thanks for the sunshine!!!

  77. Margo says:

    NYC SB – I like your humour!

  78. lisa says:

    Good morning Villa

    Sending you some sunshine

    We got our rain yesterday, it was horrible and I got soaked going to work. The afternoon was good though when I got off and could change into some dry clothes, the weather was great. I had the flu last weekend, my only lasts 2 days as my immune system is good to fight it off. I did give it to a friend a few days ago unfortunately.

    Slept late this morning, gotta take a shower now.

    Have a good day

  79. VillaCypris *396153* says:

    Hi Lisa!

    I’m glad you have some cool air down in Houston… it’s raining here, and 35 degrees…. I feel slightly better today, thank god. The “flu” or whatever I have is not pleasant.

    You could send me some sunshine if you like… 😀

  80. Gemini29 says:

    Morning sugar blog!

    Ok I think I got myself all caught up….long read!

    OC – Sorry to hear about your situation but getting yourself out of it is the most important thing, and I think you are handling it well. Good luck *hugs*

    GurlNextDoor – WHAT? I can’t believe the gall of that man, lecturing you for 2 hours and then wanting to still be “friends” so he can lecture you some more. Yuck. Ugh ugh ugh.

    NYCSB – Sorry to hear about your choking incident, but luckily you are ok! and (17k minus taxes) richer! 😀

    NewTxSB and RealisticSD – You two are so cute! Good luck in your sugar world, very happy for you both!

    Not much going on in my sugar world. Trying to figure out when I can go down to visit a pot SD and if another pot SD will come through on his timeline for a first meeting…should I choose DC or NYC? I’m leaning towards NYC, I mean, hello, NYC!

  81. lisa says:

    Good morning everyone. Beautiful cool day in Houston.

    RealisticSD : Please note I am simply pointing out what they said just as they were quick to scold me when I voiced my opinions. This blog seems to be very biased. I don’t seek to be popular for my opinions and am glad there are other blogs where I can find intelligent discussion and like minded people.

    I was thinking as I was was out in the pouring rain yesterday, getting splashed at the busstop, spending the day working in wet shoes, I had no one I could call for a lift and managed to get to work regardless while some of the employees with cars called in because of the rain, there are very few people who have helped me in any way in my life as I have had to overcome most issues alone, thus what others think of me is meaningless.

  82. SouthernGent2 says:

    Go away for a few days and not read the blog. So much interesting discussion.

    NC Gent – i read a bit about your home situation. It mirrors mine in many ways. I had to make a hard business decision as well, but I am better for it I have to say.

  83. NYC SB says:

    Atl, NewTXSB, and Realistic – I hope you guys are not in NYC in November… because I have booked myself a 3 week vacation :)

    other than that if you are ever in town i would LOVE to meet up for drinks… and then adult fun in my hotel room … dont worry im not cheap i will pay you $100 each :p

    JUST KIDDING

  84. EastCoastFilly says:

    morning!!!

  85. Anna Molly says:

    Good morning everyone :)

  86. RealisticSD says:

    Lisa, if I am not mistaken, you have been critical of—actually, insulting towards—other religions before, so don’t complain when others criticize other religious views.

    As for the SDs who claim to be uncomfortable with a financial arrangement, I have found out that paying an SB up front is better for me. Then, if after a couple of dates, I get cold feet and break up, I am not accused of not understanding the arrangement or being cheap.

  87. Margo says:

    NYC SB says:
    October 22, 2009 at 10:41 pm

    Margo – while I absolutely agree with you… had a pot who even went as far as getting my banking info and having me order a net spend card… i hear your frustration… i have been there

    on another note the pretenders actually get quite a bit of women to “fall” for their tricks… clearly you are smarter than that but it is not the case for others

    NYC SB – I became smarter after learning from my recent experience. I met another guy, who did everything to impress and promised me financial support. He looked very sincere and there was a strong chemistry, so we got intimate. And I had not regret about that till I got an email, where he criticized me and said the sex was as good as he expected! Then I really felt taken advantage of.

    In traditional dating you can getting physical after few dates, and everyone would be happy. But in sugar dating some men may start playing games to avoid giving you the money. That guy treated me very well. but he was new to it and still had issues with an idea of paying for sex. And I wanted to show him that I didn’t do it for money. I was naive.

  88. Flo Rida says:

    AtlNicole – I thought you had a SD – did he poof – perhaps he might come back. Atl doesn’t have cigar bars. The wealthy go to country clubs – golf clubs over the weekend (members & guests only) the young party crowd would be in Midtown, Virginia Highlands or Buckhead with the recent ‘in’ places being W bar or St. Regis bar. i’m not sure where’s best place for SD hunting as frankly i’ve never SD hunted. Good luck though. PS walking from hotel to office in Chicago is miserable this morning with rain but at least it’s unseasonably warm. Ciao peeps

  89. AtlNicole says:

    RedMaru – I found it on SD4me. It has to be the worst SD profile that I have come across.

  90. RedMaru says:

    I know this profile!!! Its on SD4me.com don’t tell me he’s moved to SA

  91. NewTXSB says:

    “AtlNicole says:
    October 23, 2009 at 1:16 am
    I had to post a snippet of a profile I found:

    Attractive females who wish to earn a guaranteed 2k every week or more in their hands and that dont mind actually having sex to earn it. If you are a prude or think that men are here and will just give you money because u think you are hot… You my dear are a moron.

    Its a simple concept, i am offering a 200k a year job to anyone who can handle the work and the sex, if you cant then dont contact me, and yes, that means you actually have to leave ur house. I can show that i am who i claim and that i always have young ladies earning exactly what i say i can make you.

    Please dont contact me with some idea that im going to give you a bunch of money bec ause ur daddy said u are the cutest girl in the world and a little princess, i dont give a shit if you think you are a supermodel or a playmate, i have dated both… and dumped both.. I can get laid faster than a horny woman in a bar full of sailors with a condom dispenser on her hip and a lube bottle in her crack, so lets not go down the “im the shit and u want me” road.

    I guarantee cash, new car, and help with housing , and it requires use of ur body.. can you handle it?”

    IMO IRL this is a overweight, possibly balding man with a small penis who obviously didn’t learn how to show any respect to women. If he’s “all that” then he wouldn’t need to pay women for sex in the 1st place.

  92. Taz says:

    Haha – I saw that profile recently too! Lmao…

  93. AtlNicole says:

    ….yeah…

  94. AtlNicole says:

    I had to post a snippet of a profile I found:

    Attractive females who wish to earn a guaranteed 2k every week or more in their hands and that dont mind actually having sex to earn it. If you are a prude or think that men are here and will just give you money because u think you are hot… You my dear are a moron.

    Its a simple concept, i am offering a 200k a year job to anyone who can handle the work and the sex, if you cant then dont contact me, and yes, that means you actually have to leave ur house. I can show that i am who i claim and that i always have young ladies earning exactly what i say i can make you.

    Please dont contact me with some idea that im going to give you a bunch of money bec ause ur daddy said u are the cutest girl in the world and a little princess, i dont give a shit if you think you are a supermodel or a playmate, i have dated both… and dumped both.. I can get laid faster than a horny woman in a bar full of sailors with a condom dispenser on her hip and a lube bottle in her crack, so lets not go down the “im the shit and u want me” road.

    I guarantee cash, new car, and help with housing , and it requires use of ur body.. can you handle it?

  95. Koi says:

    I agree with NewTXSB

    Just a quick email/note to say, “Thank you for your time, but I didn’t feel the chemistry.” To the point, and better than poofing!

  96. AtlNicole says:

    looks like I am in for a late night of poker tonight. I am actually getting the hang of this online poker thing. it was strange at first.

    TexasSB – maybe I can go at the same time. Then we can pull NYC SB away from work for a day and go shopping.

    Now if only I could find myself a SD in GA… gotta figure out where the cigar bars are around this city.

  97. NewTXSB says:

    “NYGent says:
    Etiquette question for SBs: If on a first date with a pot you’re interested but the SD is not (but it’s not apparent to you), would you want/expect him to explicitly state at the end of the date (or even before) that he doesn’t see it going anywhere (or words to that effect)? ”

    Um…maybe not mention it at the end of date…but I think I’d prefer he send a quick e-mail soon after the date politely letting me know that he didn’t feel like we have the chemistry to continue. I don’t do well with awkard face to face convos.

  98. NewTXSB says:

    “AtlNicole says:
    I have always wanted to visit the Big Apple.”

    Me too! In fact, SD and I were talking about this earlier today…..he may be going there in the next few months and if so, I’m definately tagging along. :)

  99. RedMaru says:

    Hey sugars!
    I seem to miss all the fun (grumbles)

  100. koi I would never tell… matter fact I would retire Kit kat and be a newbie all over again

  101. Koi says:

    Congrats Kit Kat! Maybe we will have another blog match up!!

  102. Beach_Girl*395953 says:

    Kit Kat~ yes you did , an Ivan. I told him to send you a mail at your profile… Did you get anything???

    I want an Admirer!!!

  103. AtlNicole says:

    Yay, you made it. I have no idea what was going on. I have my fingers crossed for the pot in NYC. I would not get to see him as much, but that is ok. I have always wanted to visit the Big Apple.

  104. atl I got on here finally. I heard i had an admirer lol

  105. hey Margo ya see why now I would rather doing Coffee, get to see if they are nut jobs realk quick, and ya might choke if they come out with that krap he was serving

  106. Koi says:

    Hi Margo!

    I read your earlier post about the Pot SD who flaked!

    I think he was seriously on something to think he could get away with you being his SB minus the $ugar! Especially since he is married!

    For those of you who saw my post about the pot SD I spent two days with, and who just poofed yesterday, I have still yet to hear back from him. I think it is the same case as Margo. While he agreed to an allowance and was talking about making arrangements to get the money transfered, I think it was just that! And when it was clear that there would be no intimacy before my allowance was cleared, he totally poofed. Girls! We have to be careful not to fall for these tricks!!

  107. Margo says:

    NYGent – thank you again!

    Regarding your question about showing non-interest. Usually I get a thank you email next day, and in that email they say how they enjoyed their time with me and want to see me again. If I don’t get the email or they just thank me without talking about next date, then I know they were not interested.

  108. AtlNicole says:

    Some of the ladies are having trouble getting the site to load. Not sure why, but KK is frustrated at the moment.

  109. Taz says:

    Very nice AltNicole – hope you have a blast!

  110. AtlNicole says:

    He just said I could meet him near the airport and wecould spend a day together shopping and I could show him around Atl.

  111. gurlnextdoor says:

    NYGent: Lol, some men do do that in hopes of seeing if sparks fly the second time (I’ve seen it done before and yes it is dumb). But I don’t care if he implies that a second date/meeting isn’t warranted or if he straight tells me (as long as it’s done in a polite manner). I can handle rejection as long as it’s done respectfully. I know I’m not everyone’s cup of tea.

  112. NYC SB says:

    i hope that does not mean he will spoil her sexually all day lol

    usually it means spa/shopping/dining or some combination thereof

  113. Beach_Girl*395953 says:

    I did have dinner with one Pot SD, and during dinner he said he was in LOVE with me!!! well I couldn’t wait to finish my plate, I ate so fast, and told him I didn’t want a BF at all…. and i wasn’t interested!

  114. EastCoastFilly says:

    AtlNicole: sounds great! I have yet to have this happen. When a SD says he will spoil you all day, what does that entail…I’m so curious

  115. AtlNicole says:

    Just talked to a nice pot from NYC. He is coming to town next weekend and offered to spend a day spoiling me. He is probably the most genuine SD that I have talked to so far. Too bad he lives almost an entire country away from me.

  116. NYGent says:

    ECF: very reasonable approach

  117. NYGent says:

    gurlnextdoor: i wasn’t talking about setting up a second date, that’s obviously dumb if there is no interest on the first. I was referring to when the SD definitely doesn’t want a second date or to pursue an arrangement (and it goes both ways. I’d like to believe that if a SB isn’t interested I would feel it and wouldn’t need her to specifically state it. I think I’d prefer a non-statement of interest and let me figure it out, to a specific statement of non-interest.

  118. EastCoastFilly says:

    NYGent: I’m really easy going so for me I can take it either way. Quite frankly if we both sit down to dinner and he knows really quickly we can either cut dinner short or at least get it out in the open and maybe just enjoy a nice meal as friends. I’ve never been mislead though, I know right away if they like me or not and I follow their lead by just being friendly but not flirty so they are not uncomfortable. I have yet to swoon over someone who didn’t feel the same way. I did meet a couple guys who just weren’t into me but didn’t bother me other than I wasted a couple hours and transportation costs to meet them.

    Perhaps this is why a drink is better than a whole dinner or even better, plan to meet for drinks with the tentative plans to go to dinner if things go well. After your first drink you politely say that it was nice to meet her and there she has her answer. You both go your separate ways because its awkward hanging out with someone giving details of your life to a stranger you really don’t have any intention of seeing again.

  119. Beach_Girl*395953 says:

    NYGent~ I think that if it didn’t click for what ever reason, it would be said right then and there…. but in a respectful way, of course….
    You have mail too!

    NYC SB~ I wasn’t sure , thanks

  120. NYGent says:

    NYC SB: that is my thinking and my general practice, I just wondered if other SBs would expect a more definitive statement onf non-interest. A lot of people pay lip service to “just wanting honesty” when they really don’t. Remember the Seinfeld episode where George is goaded into “just telling the truth” to Jerry’s tax accountant lady and lives to regret it

  121. gurlnextdoor says:

    Taz have a good date tomorrow! :)

    NYGent: For me if a SD has no interest in me after meeting me then I’d rather him tell either at the end of the date or after it that he has no interest in pursuing an arrangement with me. Setting up a second date to me is just leading me on and wasting both my time and his.

  122. NYC SB says:

    NYGent – if there is no interest you can say your good byes and leave it at that… to me that usually means the man is not interested… usually when a pot SD is interested he would say something towards the end of the date such as “would you like to see me again” or will bring up allowance… or the old cliche of trying to kiss you

    BG – its a reloadable prepaid card

  123. Taz says:

    GND – what an ass!

    OC – I hope everything goes smoothly tonight – you DO deserve much more than that.

    I have my date tomorrow – yay!! Off to do my nails!

    SD’s keep your thoughts coming! it was a nice change of pace catching up on the blog tonight :)

  124. NYGent says:

    Margo: I agree with those who say tell the guy to move on. Had he not explicitly mentioned a $$ arrangement it would be different, but his behavior is inexplicable.

    Etiquette question for SBs: If on a first date with a pot you’re interested but the SD is not (but it’s not apparent to you), would you want/expect him to explicitly state at the end of the date (or even before) that he doesn’t see it going anywhere (or words to that effect)? In a traditional first date one would rarely be that explicit, you would just politely say your good byes and that would be the end of it. Does the arrangement nature of things behoove people to be more blunt up front?

  125. anonymous92019 says:

    Margo,

    I’ve had that same senario happen a few times to me. It’s crazy! I dont know why men think any woman would have sex with them strictly for money. I dont know too many wowen (none actually) that would jump into bed with a man she was repulsed by. There has to be at least some chemistry. Sometimes I want to ask guys who say stuff like that why they are even on the freak’in site!

  126. Beach_Girl*395953 says:

    NYC SB~ what is a net spend card? is it like a pre paid credit card?

  127. NYC SB says:

    Margo – while I absolutely agree with you… had a pot who even went as far as getting my banking info and having me order a net spend card… i hear your frustration… i have been there

    on another note the pretenders actually get quite a bit of women to “fall” for their tricks… clearly you are smarter than that but it is not the case for others

  128. Beach_Girl*395953 says:

    Hello Sugars!!!

  129. anonymous92019 says:

    Hey Sugars!

    I’ve just been lurking for the last hour or so. Had lots of blog chatter to catch up on!

    I’m almost caught up so I thought I’d take a break to add a few comments. There were some very interesting topics being discussed.

    DC ~ I totally agree with your comments regarding sex (rather lack of sex) and marriage.

    RSD & NCGent ~ Both of you made some good points as to why you cheat, but you are kinda making yourselves sound like the victim (IMHO). Your wives are not the ones doing the cheating! So I dont see why so many of the SB’s are basically dumping on them. I think they deserve a little respect. After all according to you they do a great job in taking care of the kids, household, etc. You are the one’s having your cake and sugar on the side. Yeah they dont want to have sex for whatever reason. So, I guess you did what you had to do. I just hope you guys are covering your tracks really well. Ignorance is bliss especially in this type of situation. I’ve been a wife as well as the other woman so I’m not trying to judge and I hope what I’ve said is not taken the wrong way.

  130. Margo says:

    NYC SB says:
    October 22, 2009 at 4:26 pm

    Margo – this happens often… some men genuinely are not comfortable with providing financial allowance… others just dont have the means… they count on you liking them and in the end agreeing on an arrangement without an allowance… like everyone else has said… wish him the best of luck… NEXT

    NYC SB – if a man genuinely is not comfortable with providing financial allowance, he should not offer it and certainly should not provide the details when and how the allowance will be paid. Some do it in hope of getting intimacy before giving any money. Anyway, those who don’t have the means but pretend or hope to get something for free just fool themselves, because they actually waste their time and money on you without getting what they want, if they are not able to give you what you want.

  131. curious SD says:

    Anna Molly: Thank you for your excellent suggestion! That does seem like a fair and balanced middle ground respectful to both parties. As the old Motown hit says, “It’s in his[her] kiss.”

  132. lisa says:

    No offense taken, just feel that since i’m told not to discuss my social views on the blog, that making fun of anyone’s religion should be off limits too.

    LGM I could care less about karma, tantra, or whatever as I don’t believe in that stuff.

    Now back to the baseball game

  133. gurlnextdoor says:

    AtlNicole sounds like a fun day, lol. I get to have a weekend like that starting tomorrow. :)

  134. NYC SB says:

    OC – positive thoughts go out to you…

  135. AtlNicole says:

    Hello all! I am back. I know you missed me like crazy 😀

    I have had a lazzzzy day today. No work. No school. it would have been a lovely day to have lunch with a SD. Instead I took a nap. Now I am wide awake. Looking for a new Ebook, have not picked one out yet.

  136. NYC SB says:

    I am not sure if the blog is fake or real… but it makes for good reading… :)

    James – interesting site

    GND – wow… actually experienced this on a lesser degree…i dont appreciate anyone preaching about my choices … its MY life… especially if that someone is on the site as well… NEXT

  137. gurlnextdoor says:

    Lisa I’m sorry if the religion comments offended you, I’m just kind of frustrated that he wants to waste my time again by meeting up with no intention of starting an arrangement with me. He basically insulted my intelligence today and that’s something I don’t take too kindly too. I may be quiet at times, but don’t mistake the fact that I’m observational for a lack of intelligence.

  138. The Lone Gunman says:

    lisa:

    If that were an all-powerful rule, then we also could not talk about chakra-cleansing, Karma, Tantric or other things as well.

    The man’s behavior speaks for itself; this is not about religion, it’s about religious behavior in context to someone’s experience on this site.

    However, since this makes you and Percy uncomfortable, I’ll refrain from any further observations.

    TLG

  139. lisa says:

    on another note, although my flu only lasted a couple days, I did manage to spread it to someone I was close with earlier this week.

  140. lisa says:

    Religion should not be discussed on the blog

  141. The Lone Gunman says:

    gurlnextdoor says:

    And now he texts me and tells me he wants to get together again… so he wants to waste my time once more apparently.

    Told ya! He’s not finished in his attempt to convert you.

    Heathen Woman! 😉

    TLG

  142. The Lone Gunman says:

    gurlnextdoor:

    Yup, all part of the show with the B-ABT.

    I used to have a lot of fun in College with those folks, because for some reason they decided I needed ‘saving’ and despite all evidence to the contrary refused to believe that I had been successfully born once.

    TLG

  143. gurlnextdoor says:

    And now he texts me and tells me he wants to get together again… so he wants to waste my time once more apparently.

  144. gurlnextdoor says:

    Oh TLG he did manage to tell me about some Bible story that I was thoroughly familiar with. I guess that caught him off guard when I was able to tell him exactly what it said and the lesson behind it, so he had to “dig deeper”. Like I said, 10 minutes in I was thoroughly bored and should’ve just left but I was hoping he’d realize how rude he was being and at least apologize but it got worse and worse.

  145. The Lone Gunman says:

    gurlnextdoor says:

    Umm SD/SB arrangements are supposed to be fun, not about you trying to tell me a sermon and insinuating that you’re better than me because you give back by paying tithes.

    Well, it had to happen to one of us sooner or later, and it looks like you have won the lottery.

    Congratulations, your prize is a Born-Again Bible Thumper!!!

    They stay on sites like this in the somewhat goofy hope that their sterling example of religious tolerance towards others of differing belief will create converts by confrontation.

    (With the last sentence, everyone’s sarcasm meter should have redlined and pegged.)

    Oh and then he asked me if we could be friends because he still wanted to be my mentor.

    Sure he did–he hasn’t finished in his attempts to convert you. I’m surprised he didn’t start spouting biblical verse at you then-and-there!

    TLG

  146. gurlnextdoor says:

    Of course EastCoastFilly :)

  147. EastCoastFilly says:

    sorry gurl, dust yourself off and get back out there :)

  148. gurlnextdoor says:

    I don’t know EastCoastFilly, after awhile I just zoned out and started daydreaming. It was like he was trying to talk to me like I was his daughter. Umm SD/SB arrangements are supposed to be fun, not about you trying to tell me a sermon and insinuating that you’re better than me because you give back by paying tithes. Hitler could’ve paid tithes but that wouldn’t have made him a good man still. Ugh! So definitely a NEXT on this one. Oh and then he asked me if we could be friends because he still wanted to be my mentor. Hello! I’m on a sugar daddy website, I’m not looking for a mentor.

  149. gurlnextdoor says:

    I know Kit Kat! Then he had the nerve to tell me that he was starting to question being a SD. So I’m like what was the point in asking me out on the date!?!?!? Ugh, it was just horrible, not to mention I was bored the entire time since I got like 5 words in during the whole 2 hours we were there. I should’ve left early but being optimistic I hoped that he’d show that he wasn’t so bad after all, but that never happened.

  150. EastCoastFilly says:

    gurl: whats he doing on this site then? Did you ever answer that?

  151. gnd What?? That JIVE-turkey was full of stuffin….. Tell him to Kick rocks!!

  152. gurlnextdoor says:

    Hey sugars, the date was an utter fail today with pot SD. I got a sermon about giving unselfishly and was told that I was selfish for being a SB.

  153. Umm MR. Ivan i am a bit of a hell raiser not sure you wanna deal with me. *smiles*

    Nc Gent awhh my hero, lemme know when we can go Fishing!! lol

  154. EastCoastFilly says:

    Girls, whats your strategy regarding emails and profiles. I get a few then I hide my profile until I see if any of them work out because I don’t want to get too many at the same time. Does that seem to be the best way to go about it or is it bad to keep hiding and unhiding your profile?

  155. Night hun, and you will have better luck

  156. Sorry hun, my son got a tad fussy, So I was sidetracked.

  157. NeOhio SB says:

    OC~~~ I don’t know you and probably could not pick you out in a crowded room of executives at a charity fundraiser, but from the short time i have been on this blog and have read some of your postings, I DO know without a doubt……you deserve total respect from any SD. And he did not give you that. Paramount to anything, is RESPECT~~ Sending all of the “sugar angels” to be on your shoulder tonite to give you the courage, the support to look out for yourself and what you truly truly deserve. Trust me, I have had ups and downs, but i do know, there is at least one sincere, honest SD who did not lie about his age or anything…and I am having the experience of a lifetime with him. A needle in a haystack, yes, but you, deserve it all. Don’t compromise or settle for anything less than you deserve. Good luck tonite. If i was in Southern Cal, i would absolutely offer to be your taxi ride tonite….along with stopping for a good drink after. Best wishes to you.

    • OCSugarbaby says:

      Thanks NeOhio :) that was very sweet. I am so happy for you! You are right, settling is not an option. I know there will be a better person out there for me. I just needed to get out of my own way and let it happen! Ok, going home to get ready. ~Nite

  158. Holly Golightly says:

    Lady 8 – I am ok but its way past bed time here – i’m in the UK and currently sugar free, have to rely on copious amts of ice cream instead.

  159. Holly Golightly says:

    You talking to me???? :-)

  160. Hello, how are you this afternoon?

  161. Thank you hun, If she understood english my Azja would be tickled pink, She is vain, spoiled and loves new people lol, but she is the perfect show horse.

    😉

  162. Holly Golightly says:

    Sorry about the above random posts. Was testing my postings. Seems like I have been in blog purgatory for last 24 hrs. Why, i know not.

    Anyway, hello to everyone.

  163. Holly Golightly says:

    why not

  164. Holly Golightly says:

    x

  165. KC says:

    Has anyone down here in Miami met with a certain skin doctor?
    I met with him today for a coffee this AM and he had all the right answers I look for, but seemed very nervous, which kinda raised a red flag for me, so I am hoping someone can vouch for him?
    Luv you girls….. :)

  166. Thanks Lady. I love that picture of you and the white horse. Very pretty.

  167. LOL lovin the come back S.G.

  168. James says:

    Margo, aw shucks, thanks. You hang in there. Out for the evening, go Yanks!

    • OCSugarbaby says:

      Thanks James! You have given me a good idea on my reason for ending it. It was not hard to pick one! Now I know you cannot be all bad if you like the Yank’s.

      TLG you are very sweet. I like that you think I am a mystical magical Chakra clearing karma caring imaginary SB!

      NY Gent I hear you on the marriage fear factor. Nevertheless, I really enjoyed being married. The sexual compatibility aspect was never an issue. Sadly, enough, having his own biological children was important to him. When we found out I could not have them it was an obstacle that just could not be worked out, at least in his mind. Today he is happy with his new wife and 2 children. I would welcome a marriage issue that was based on something that could be worked on or fixed! OK, TMI… Just saying marriage is not all bad it, however life’s curve balls can take a toll on it.

      ~Tonight is a charity event that will have plenty of people around. I need to tell him tonight before the evening ends. I have already figured out I will tell him and then take a taxi home. I bought the perfect dress for what I thought would be a perfect evening… It will take me months to pay off that stupid dress! Oh, well…

  169. DC says:

    Well James, like any other non sugar daddy site, the men outnumber the women by 100 to 1. So as a woman get tons of messages daily. Now if you read the blog that NYCsb turned us on to, it apparently doesn’t matter if you are really hot or ugly and weigh 200 lbs. So I don’t let the onslought of messages go to my head LOL

    I say in my profile that I don;t respond to collect messages. I mean c’mon, I say I want a sugar daddy and still get about 10 collect messages a day. Even if I wasn’t looking for an SD there I would not respond to collect messages so I don;t know what these guys are thinking.

    I have met a few men from there and they were great but I had to weed through a huge amount of detritus first.

    I found SD 4 me to be much more blatant in terms of sending out fake messages in order to get you to join. I probably got 50 messages the first few weeks and not a single one was a paying member so I could not read their e-mail and coincidentally they were all hot. Many times I was so tempted but I had to remind myself that they were most likely fakes.

    I do like this site the best out of all the dating sites out there…sugar and non-sugar.

    NC Gent- I haven’t gotten to the part yet where he meets all these hot women but the first few chapters sure as heck sound accurate as to what a typical man’s experience would be like there.

  170. James says:

    NYC SB, check out a site with the URL AxxxxxMxxxxxSucks dot com.

  171. Sugar Geisha *368763* says:

    You should just send him one last email and say “SORRY, But there’s No such thing as a FREE HOT Girlfriend. I’m Not a Soup Kitchen” then Block that Loser. LOL

  172. Margo says:

    Thank you for support. I feel much better now because I am not alone.

    Special thanks for NC Gent and James. Just want to tell all real SDs that we do like and appreciate you. To be with a generous man is a great turn on for us. We love you because you are REAL!

  173. NC Gent says:

    p.s. Beachgirl — kinda rude perhaps but also very uncool of Ivan don’t you think?

  174. NC Gent says:

    NYC SB — I hate to say it, but I think that ashleyandme blogspot site is just an advertisement for AM. It is highly entertaining, but for one guy to have met that many attractive women from their site I think is BS. I think James would concur with my experience of success on there — just more clever and maybe even unethical marketing by AM.

    Have a great evening everyone!

  175. LOL No kidding. As if we are dawgs, and unable to get dates.

    He has issues. maybe you should give him ashly’s website. 😀

  176. James says:

    I tried Ashley for a short while and concluded it was an elegant fraud. I think they put up fake postings and send fake messages there just to make it look like there’s activity and get guys to spend money. I didn’t have any real communication with an actual person. Maybe that makes it a good hunting ground for real live people like DC, I don’t know.

    NC Gent nails it again, no question in my mind that the compensation is appropriate in part because you’re married to someone else, thus the woman will not be able to recoup her “investment” of time in the man in the more conventional way. As discussed earlier, the financial aspect of marriage is *substantial* and frankly to a lot of men makes the line between marriage and other forms of arrangement a little blurry. I mean, what’s a pre-nup but a kind of arrangement — an agreed upon price that the man will have to pay to be able to walk away? And that’s part of what’s at stake here, the right to walk away with no (or fewer) hard feelings.

    Margo, he may have been sincere and then sincerely changed his mind. It happens all the time, could be due to guilt, insecurity, financial sobriety, whatever. Don’t take it personally. You may have done everything right and this still would happen.

  177. NewTXSB says:

    “EastCoastFilly says:
    NewTXSB, thast funny. Good one. I mean lets face it, wheat does a single attractive girl get in the end when she dates a married man and gets nothing in return. Shes not even getting his undivided attention. Thats split between her and the wife (and kids). ”

    Exactly! Its not like I can’t get a dates with a SINGLE man…LOL. Why the heck would I date a married man without an arrangement….I might as well spend the time/effort on a man who’s single so at least I don’t have to worry about being discrete and work on possibly building a future together with the SINGLE man.

  178. NYC SB says:

    make sure you read the archives by chapter… riff dogs humor is awesome even though he hates on SBs lol

  179. DC says:

    Reading the blog NYCsb. It’s hysterical

  180. DC says:

    I have had one SD from A shley, the one I mentioned above.

    I put in my profile that I am looking for a sugar daddy arrangement and if they write to me I am very explicit in the first couple of e-mails as to what I am seeking. I don;t want to waste their time or mine. It’s easier at SA because I can put in an allowance range. I don’t do that at Ashley.

    I am communicating with another pot SD from there and after about 6 e-mails I think we are on the same page. He understands and says he is looking for the same arrangement.

    That is why I advocate putting all your cards in the table up front before you even meet. Yes, it is unromantic and has a real business feel to it but I think it helps one to avoid what happened to Margo

  181. Beach_Girl*395953 says:

    NC Gent~ wow, kinda rude, dude!

    Ivan ~ kit kat has her profile # beside her name to see her profile and make contact, open any SB profile, in the task bar at the top of the page change the number at the end with Kit Kat and enter, Voila!

  182. EastCoastFilly says:

    NYC SB: going to check it out, I am thoroughly entertained by them as well, lol

  183. NYC SB says:

    well after intimacy he wouldnt have disappeared … but at the end of the month his allowance wouldnt be in her account…

    ashley is a better site for him as someone suggested

    p.s. really awesome blog about ashley is ashleyandme(dot)blogspot(dot)com

    p.p.s clearly i am obsessed with blogs … whatever they keep me entertained

  184. EastCoastFilly says:

    NewTXSB, thast funny. Good one. I mean lets face it, wheat does a single attractive girl get in the end when she dates a married man and gets nothing in return. Shes not even getting his undivided attention. Thats split between her and the wife (and kids). There has to be something she can grasp onto so when its all over it doesn’t feel so bad.

    NC Gent said it best: remind him that as a married man, he isn’t exactly dating material :) I figure the allowance I provide is partly for the pain in dating a married man, and for the convenience of keeping it NSA.

    I like that you said it being a man and all because when I had a meet up with a very rude man recently (just remembered him, although I’d like to forget) he was somewhat shocked at the thought of even providing anything financial. I said the same thing, that as a single woman what do I get out of being w a married man if not some compensation somehow. Somehow it doesn’t sound as good coming form a woman. LOL. but you’ve confirmed its okay to think it :)

  185. EastCoastFilly says:

    Margo, girl, been there too. But like someone else said at least you have a reason from him instead of him disappearing into thin air.
    I met a guy who I went out with 3 times and he never mentioned an arrangement at all and he tried to get in my pants from the get go. I didn’t mind hanging out but after the 3rd date it was clear he thought this was a conventional dating site. I left right after dinner saying I had to get up early and that was that. It sucks but you will find someone else. Better he backed out now than after you’d been intimate and he disappeared.

  186. I do notice that they think that they can just act like a single man, like they are going to get a nsa woman to act like his mistress, But he expects her to fork out everything.

    Sounds very selfish, and he does need to go elsewhere. He is either naive or hoping to find someone who will give him freebies.

    he is def. not worth anyones time.

  187. The Lone Gunman says:

    OCSugarbaby says:

    At the risk of TLG making fun of me again, it is just bad KARMA to keep them. Far too many of us are lured into deceitful arrangements.

    No, I can’t do that to you.

    Playful ribbing is one thing; this would be the equivalent of kicking someone who’s down for the count. I feel for your loss, it cannot be pleasant.

    TLG

  188. NewTXSB says:

    I had this situation with one potential. And yes, I really liked him too. I told him that I’m more than willing to be his friend and hang out with him when he’s free…but it will be platonic friendship. He dissappeared real fast. :)

    These married men really like you and want to spend time with you without an arrangement….but not without sex. NEXT…

  189. NYC SB says:

    Margo – this happens often… some men genuinely are not comfortable with providing financial allowance… others just dont have the means… they count on you liking them and in the end agreeing on an arrangement without an allowance… like everyone else has said… wish him the best of luck… NEXT

  190. NC Gent says:

    I tried Ashley — spent about $50 and about 10 hours of time. I met one woman — she misrepresented her age by about 10 years and her weight by about 70 pounds — I put it down to experience as a complete disaster.

  191. Anna Molly says:

    Margo – I’m sorry to hear about that! At least he was man enough to say something to you instead of just disappearing. I think it is safe to say that both SB and SD need to put a lot of thought into what they are agreeing to, agree may not be the right word, when they put their profiles up on a site such as SA. The SD/SB relationship is not a convetional one and certainly not the type of relationship that is right for everybody. Don’t give up Margo, I know you’ll find the SD of your dreams. This arrangement didn’t happen for a reason; your SD is out there somewhere.

    I must say that the SD thing is a major turn on for me and I find it to be very exciting….I just wish I could find one. We’ll find one one day :)

  192. DC says:

    NC Gent- well said!

    “I consider myself an attractive man with much to offer in terms of my friendship and personal qualities where I don’t need to have to pay to find the sort of relationship I am looking for.”

    ………I do think he confused this site with Ashley or Adult Friend Finder. I would write back HAHAHAHHAHAHHAHA

  193. NC Gent says:

    You might want to direct him to Ashley Madison — let him find out the quality of the “free” women on there lol

  194. NC Gent says:

    Margo — send him an email wishing him well, and move on. If you want, you might want to remind him that as a married man, he isn’t exactly dating material :) I figure the allowance I provide is partly for the pain in dating a married man, and for the convenience of keeping it NSA. He just doesn’t get it and was looking for something for nothing.

  195. NewTXSB says:

    Margo –

    Wow…sorry to hear that. I think this man is retarded. If he feels that he doesn’t have to provide anything financially to find a “mistress”, then why the heck is he on SA! If I were you Margo, I’d just write back saying “I wish you luck in your search.” and forget about him. He’s not worth your time.

  196. DC says:

    Sounds familiar Margo. It’s happened to me more than once.

    I am not sure whether or not to believe these guys. I think some might be totally clueless when they come here about what an arrangement is and I think some maybe are kind of sneaky and think that if you meet them and like them you will want to spend time with a married man without an arrangement.

    I met the most wonderful pot SD a few months ago. The chemistry was there, I really like him and vice versa. We had a wonderful time together and then he admitted to feeling some resentment at having to give me an allowance. He also admitted to feeling very insecure as to whether or not I was spending time with him just because of the allowance. I wasn’t…I really like him. We’ve been trying to get together for months now. He eventually stopped feeling the resentment and says he really wants to see me…but now I have mixed feelings about getting together with him again

    Sounds like you did everything right…lets see if he takes his profile down. Just say…NEXT!!

  197. Margo says:

    I am so disappointed! In short – I don’t have an arrangement.

    When I met that married man third time for dinner, he let me know that he was interested in an arrangement with me ( I mentioned an arrangement in my emails and profile). We negotiated the amount, he agreed to that and explained me in small details when and how he would transfer the money at my bank account.

    But I’ve just received an email from him:

    “I have been giving the discussion we had the other evening much thought and frankly I am not sure this is the sort of arrangement I was looking for. I am not so sure I consider myself a Sugar Daddy. I am looking for a woman where we can both develop a close friendship and mutually satisfying relationship if it goes this way without exchange of monetary means. I consider myself an attractive man with much to offer in terms of my friendship and personal qualities where I don’t need to have to pay to find the sort of relationship I am looking for. In a way, after thinking about it, I feel a little hurt that I have to provide financial incentives to obtain this type of friendship but then again, I am probably naive about this sort of thing.

    Although I would love to help you, I cannot do so in the way we discussed. I have no issues spending time with you, fostering a friendship, going out for enjoyable evenings/dinners every once in awhile but unfortunately I am not prepared to give a fixed amount of money. Again, I apologize for leading you on, did not mean to do so.”

    What can you say about this situation?

  198. EastCoastFilly says:

    OH no guys! I love to hear your innermost thoughts, keep them coming, you are helping us all out, lol

  199. DC says:

    NC- there are many doctors now who prescribe natural hormone replacement therapy, including testosterone, that doesn’t have the nasty side effects of the synthetics.

    Realistic-I don’t know if that is necessarily true. When I turned 40 my sex drive went through the roof. My boyfriends and SDs commented that I had the sex drive equal to a mans. When I was in my 20s and 30s it was half of that. I have other friends my age who have equal sex drives. When I am having sex with someone I love it can be a little boring at times but I won’t lose interest in my partner. I think as far as the shiny ball syndrome goes men just can’t help themselves if they have already given up on their relationship

    I have had discussions with many male friends about this. I ask them if their wives had decent sex drives when they were dating and quite a few admitted that they didn’t but that they thought it would change once theyr were married or they thought it would be enough for them because they were compatible in so many other ways.

    At least for me I think equal sex drives is paramount to having a healthy relationship. Great sex can make everything else seem better, even if for only a few hours. Not as important to me to have the same interests because you can always find friends to play tennis with or go to a museum with

    But if you want to have a happy healthy relationship you need to be on the same page as far as frequency of sex and likes/dislikes in that department

  200. RealisticSD says:

    DC, I think women get bored with the sex more quickly. They, on average, have a lower need for sex, so when the initial excitement subsides, so does their desire for sex in the relationship. But that does not necessarily translate into seeking new partners.

    NYC SB, “mr smarty pants”—I wish, lol!

  201. James says:

    NC Gent, really well said. Well I think we’ve given the gals enough of a window into our psyches for one day. Conference call over, back to real work!

  202. NeOhio SB says:

    DC~ Exactly why a woman needs to add those sparks, twists etc to keep her husband intrigued and sexually satisfied. I am completely in sync and in agreement with the “open minded marriage”….or even on that note…an “open minded arrangement with a SD”….to be honest…I AM involved with that type of arrangement with my current SD…mixing it up at times…and it absolutely keeps the excitement intact…he is beyond satisfied…When 2 partners with equally insatiable sexual appetites mix…..the drive just keeps going and going and going.

  203. NC Gent says:

    Yes James — I thought about it a long time and explored many options. Probably more than most would have thought about it. After you go a year without sex, it becomes a pretty easy decision though. As I said earlier though, I haven’t entirely given up hope. Maybe when the kids get older we can restore some sparks :) I don’t feel sorry for myself at all though. I think I am extremely blessed, and I am sure there are millions of people who would trade their life for mine — nothing is perfect!

  204. NYC SB says:

    Men get bored of sex partners all the time… SDs leave their SBs for new ones… even if the old one was a reasonably good looking, sharp as a whip, 24, and a rockstar in bed 😉

    its the nature of the beast… men are programed to “procreate” usually with more than one partner

  205. NYC SB says:

    Realistic – as you are well aware of this… at some point even if you look f*able when in a marriage the desire may fade due to other factors… i dont need to even bring this up im sure you know… clearly you are mr smarty pants … hey maybe that should be your new handle :)

  206. James says:

    DC, no doubt about that, men are genetically programmed to desire new partners! That impulse could be met by the same woman, but she has to do something to mix it up and cause the chemicals to stir.

    NCGent, I’ve been there and you’ve clearly given this a lot of that but it can’t feel good to say you’ve given up. I remember back in the old days in the software business there would be certain bugs that weren’t worth the programming resources to correct, so they would tage them “NPTF” — No Plan to Fix. It’s a design decision, ma’am.

  207. NC Gent says:

    I definitely think there is a double standard DC. I look at the guys in my neighborhood, and about 95% have pot bellies. On the other hand, most of the women are reasonably fit. I do see the women over at our health club more than the men. Not sure has more time, so I won’t make an excuse there.

    I agree with you on the tests — my wife’s testosterone level was on the lower range of acceptable. I soooo wanted her to take a little testosterone to bring up her drive but she was understandably afraid of side effects.

    I definitely think men get bored more easily. On the other hand, I was monogamous for 17 years when we had a healthy sex life. I definitely looked at the menu but never ordered before then.

  208. DC says:

    Hey NC and Realistic!

    I am sure the both of you are very attractive;)

    I am just referring to the double standard that exists sometimes. A man can let himself go but God forbid a woman lets herself go……

    And sometimes a woman can be so borderline on the tests that the doctor says everything is normal when it really isn’t.

    The other thing I forgot to mention is the shiny ball syndrome. I just think men get bored a lot faster than women do and sex with a new partner is more enticing to them.

  209. Anna Molly says:

    I wonder if we’ll ever hear from Ivan again? I’ve not seen him around before :)

  210. NeOhio SB says:

    James~ Trust once lost…..is nearly impossible to restore. It is like a great piece of crystal shattered…it can never ever be put back together with all the pieces intact fitting just right. Sad…but true.

  211. NewTXSB says:

    “NC Gent says:
    Ivan — dude! You might have better luck if you asked for her profile number; took an interest in her; determined if there was mutually chemistry; and then MAYBE brought up the potential dental services.”

    This made me LOL….you’d think it would be obvious but I guess not to everyone.

  212. NC Gent says:

    Thanks James — we considered counseling, but both weren’t that interested in it. We get along well. My wife still looks great, which actually makes it harder because she is very physically desirable.

    DC — she actually went to an endocrinologist (hormone doc – hope that isn’t insulting) and everything checked out fine. I am not blaming her entirely either. True, my six pack abs are long gone, but I do still have a flat tummy, workout regularly and watch what I eat. Based upon the woman that approach me and the SBs that I have had long-term relationships with, I suspect that I still look f*ckable lol Something is missing — not sure what it is — but as I said — I tried like heck but eventually gave up.

  213. James says:

    OCSugarbaby, I feel for you, particularly the difficulty in trying not to discuss some of the things you found out. Can you pick one thing that you’re comfortable mentioning (other than age, which you accepted) and use that as the predicate? Then mention that in your experience, people who start out with small lies tell bigger ones, that trust once lost is too difficult to restore?

    When I did my FTF break-up (with your encouragement if I recall), I just tried to calm myself, to detach, to be as unemotional as possible. To imagine myself as a character in a movie that I would watch later to see how well I did. I prepared a little outline in my mind, I sorted out the things to say and NOT say. I picked my absolute home turf and wore my best power suit. And you need an exit strategy — you can’t just sit there and have a nice meal together after you’ve delivered your bomb. At the same time, sitting there being all nicey before the bomb is too false to tolerate. So we met for tea. I am sending you huge psychic bolts of strength!

    I’m a Cancer on the Gemini cusp, by the way — a very “intuitive” combination, but also a bit schizo. Cancer heart, Gemini mind. So I married a Gemini and left the heart to struggle on its own.

    NCGent and Realistic, dudes, we should form a club. I found that couples therapy does help, even if it doesn’t fix everything. It can make the daily aspects of marriage more tolerable. And it might be the only way to encourage your wives to work on themselves, which can’t hurt her or you and could be good for the kids too.

    NYC SB, remember that lesson and ladies, heed her advice to take care of your men! It seems so simple but our society sends such mixed messages to women that in some odd way we’re almost back to the Victorian era of proper wives (who now are too busy or driven or proud for sex or to try to be feminine) and fallen women (everyone else, including the same women before they got married/had kids).

    I recommend the book The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida, he points out how our intellectual desire to follow more progressive social views about gender equality (which I fully support) to some extent contradict our biochemistry. To reconcile this tension and be happy again, we need to recognize and accept our different sexual natures, to complement each other rather than compete. You know, the old Yin/Yang stuff.

  214. NewTXSB says:

    “DC:
    have seen it again and again, men over the age of 40 who let themselves go…….big guts, loss of hair (not their fault of course) and general lack of interest in their appearance”

    I don’t know about the other SD’s on this blog or IRL…but I can definately vouch for RealisticSD that he doesn’t have a problem with any of the above. :) LOL….I’m actually very jealous of his hair!

  215. RealisticSD says:

    DC, you’re right on all those topics. Part of it is hormonal, part of it has to do with the relationship, part of it has to do with wife’s inability to let go of really old grudges. But I have neither hair loss nor a big beer belly.

  216. NYGent says:

    Hearing all of these stories about loss of interest between spouses is something that has scared and continues to scare me off from ever getting married. I started hearing them 15 years ago from friends in their early 30s and I think it just put a damper on my thought process. I think the SDs on the blog are handling it as well as they could, and thankfully there are SBs around to make them happy (and vice versa).

    sorry to hear, OC, hope tonite goes well . . .

  217. NC Gent says:

    lol like I am her daddy or something — I am sure Kit-Kat can protect herself – just trying to help him not make SDs look bad!

    excuse my split infinitive and typo above also!

  218. NYC SB says:

    NC getting protective over kit kat … oooooo 😮

  219. NC Gent says:

    Ivan — dude! You might have better luck if you asked for her profile number; took an interest in her; determined if there was mutually chemistry; and then MAYBE brought up the potential dental services. If you want to simply barter, try craigslist or escorts dot com – best wishes!

  220. DC says:

    OC- so sorry to hear about your SD. I think giving back the gifts is the right thing to do. I once accepted a nice gift from an SD, but after consideration I realized I could not be his sugar baby and I tried to give it back. Being the wonderful guy that he is he insisted I keep it. But I felt like I had done the right thing and my conscience felt good

  221. DC says:

    Hi sugars-

    Been lurking but this is a favorite topic for me so here’s my 2 cents:

    Interesting discussion on monogamy and loss of interest in sex.

    One thing to consider is the wife’s age and how many children she has had. It is a fact that as women approach the age of 45 their hormones start to wax and wax. And that includes testosterone as well (yes women do have testosterone) and estrogen and progesterone levels fall and a lack thereof can affect a woman’s sex drive. Having children also affects their sex drive so sometimes a visit to the doctor to have hormone levels checked can be beneficial. Sometimes it helps, sometimes it doesn’t. I think by her 40s if a woman has lost interest it’s very hard for her to get it back. But sometimes a new partner for her as well can spark some interest. Ask her who her favorite actor is and watch her eyes light up. I bet her sex drive would come back for them 😉

    The other thing to consider is the relationship. Men can have an argument with the wife and then have sex. Women tend to stew about these things and it’s hard for us to compartmentalize and push it aside. So something may have happened early on in the relationship to make her bitter and lose interest. Then life happens, kids happen etc. maybe she works and then comes home and take care of the kiddies and sex is the last thing on her mind.

    One last thing to consider is her lack of interest in her husband. I know so many men who have this complaint…it seems universal and epidemic….”my wife has totally lost interest in sex”. To be frank, I look at some of them and think that I would lose interest in sex with them as well. I have seen it again and again, men over the age of 40 who let themselves go…….big guts, loss of hair (not their fault of course) and general lack of interest in their appearance….but they expect their wives to stay thin and as gorgeous as the day they met them.

    But I have to agree on the concept of marriage being forever and the concept of sex with the same person the rest of your life. Very few couples can make this work and I myself believe in serial monogamy. Keeping the sex exciting and fresh and hot is work. But it requires both parties involvement..not just the wife buying sexy lingerie to keep her man interested.

    I feel for men who have to put up with this but I think it’s not fair to put the blame on just one party.

  222. Ivan says:

    Kit Kat…If it is a dentist that you seek, I am sure that we could work something out….

  223. RealisticSD says:

    OC, I don’t envy your having to meet him tonight at all. It must be so hard. I think it is very honorable for you to offer to return what he has given you, but if he has been deceitful, he should not accept it. Heck, even when I have been honest and the SBs deceitful, they have not offered to return a penny.

    • OCSugarbaby says:

      Thanks Realistic, I will not leave the door open for him not to accept the allowance or gifts back. At the risk of TLG making fun of me again, it is just bad KARMA to keep them. Far too many of us are lured into deceitful arrangements.

  224. NYC SB says:

    there is a very good blog on open marriage from a woman that calls herself sexy saddie… now clearly she has many issues but i definitely like how their open marriage works …

  225. NYC SB says:

    If I have learned anything with sugar dating is how important a healthy sex life is when you are married. I definitely know that my future hubby wont be complaining that I am not into him like that. Also keeping up your figure and looks in the long haul are key for a woman. Last, being open minded … 3 somes and such to keep things spicy in the relationship. Hey I’d rather him do it with me than without me. Open marriage is also a way to go… but again it all boils down to being honest and upfront with me.

    • OCSugarbaby says:

      NYC SB open marrige is what I would be open to as well! Hey, I have a strong sex drive and so will my future hubby. But I too would rather play out the fantacy with me as the leading role!

  226. RealisticSD says:

    Maybe now’s the time for me to get a divorce. She wouldn’t get half of my future income at least. So in essence I give up half my income for the right to see my kids more than 8 days per month.

  227. VillaCypris *396153* says:

    NC – interesting. When life expectancy used to be 30-40 years old, perhaps it made MORE sense to be with one person for one’s entire life… but now that people live to be 80-110…. a bit more difficult to justify….

  228. NC Gent says:

    Hi VC — I did some thinking and researching on that actually. Only about 3% of mammals are monogamous, and historically, homosapiens have not been monogamous – it is a modern society construct and maybe a healthy rationalization?

  229. NC Gent says:

    OC — I tolerated little lies and deceptions from my second SB, but they kept getting worse until it eventually ended in an ugly finish. We talked it over and mended the fence about 6 months after it ended, so I don’t harbor any ill feelings now. My only regret is that I didn’t act on the lies and deception sooner – you are doing the right thing, and are much smarter than me :) I learned my lesson now — I don’t put up with lies of deception now – guess I am less tolerant now after having been burnt.

  230. VillaCypris *396153* says:

    NC & Realistic – it makes one wonder if “monogamy” is a construct which defies human nature….

  231. VillaCypris *396153* says:

    Hi NeOhio – ok! nothing has arrived yet….

    how are your eyes this afternoon???? I hope the meds helped!!

  232. NC Gent says:

    The wife is definitely perceived as the victim. I talked to a divorce attorney and he said she would get half of everything I owned, a healthy alimony check for 20 years, and the kids except for every other weekend. How is that fair — I wasn’t the one who lost interest in sex? It is the way it is though, so I evaluated my options, and made a business decision; and I know that sounds cold as hell.

    • OCSugarbaby says:

      Thanks Everyone for your support.

      NeOhio that is a very good point on the ease of deception. He never really admitted the age fudging. I broached the subject lightly and he stated that all MEN on SA lie about their age. I didn’t comment. But you are right, it was easy for him to hide other things. But some he has just flat out let me see or know, during the past few days. As hard as it was not to spend the allowance! I knew it did not feel right, so I put it aside. Dang, he was the worlds best gift giver! Most important thing is feeling good about the person you are with. It is going to be hard to see him tonight. I am going to have to give a reason other than the truth. I don’t want him to know I have found out things that maybe I shouldn’t have. Argh, I am dead meat, I am the worst at not telling the truth! Anyone want to go with me?!

  233. RealisticSD says:

    NC Gent, my wife was also suspicious before with my IRL SB, but I think that was the happiest time for her because I totally left her alone, so she had no incentive to complain. She was just not sure if I would stick around or not, but somehow that uncertainty was better than the certainty of dealing with a husband who loves her.

  234. NeOhio SB says:

    Good afternoon to all~~~~

    VC~ Check your spam. Emailed you from my personal business account.

    OC~ I am soo sorry to hear that. But I had found myself on that same path before….and my honesty and my Zero tolerance for deception are a core in me that I won’t, don’t and can’t have in any SD relationship. It is extremely hard to end something with such incredible chemistry, but on the flip side…when there is deception for something so irrelevant as age, it raises red flags on what else he can deceive so easily…or hide. Unf. that is a NEXT for me…no matter what allowance or gifts are given…i in turn, return immediately.

  235. NC Gent says:

    Hey Realistic — I am all too familiar with apathetic sex! The few times a year we do have sex, she just kind of lays there. I think my wife has mild depression, but refuses to seek treatment for it because of her perceived social stigma with mental health.

  236. NC Gent says:

    A number of my male friends my age have said the same thing — their wives have lost interest in sex. Over a few beers we developed a theory that they had the amount of kids they wanted so there was no longer a biological/species survival drive. Good idea over beers, but I think it is that along with a number of factors – stress, maybe hubby doesn’t look as good, maybe they don’t feel that good about themselves, etc. In one of the heated arguments with my wife, I asked her if she preferred that I see an escort for sex, and she said that wasn’t an option either. Another interesting tidbit, about 6 months after I started being intimate with my first SB, she asked me why I wasn’t nagging her for sex and if I had a mistress. I strongly denied it, and said that I had just given up. I don’t think she entirely believed me and it was the worst and one of very few lies I ever told her. So now I think in the back of her mind she knows, but she doesn’t want the details. Ignorance and no nagging for sex is bliss for her I guess.

  237. RealisticSD says:

    “I don’t think it is “right” for one spouse to unilaterally decide “no more sex” and expect the other to abide by that decision” (VillaCypris): I agree, but for the wife, this her her way of taking her frustrations in life out on her husband. And invariably for every asexual wife, there are ten women who will gladly please the husband, hence all the cheating that goes on. Yet, somehow our society sees the wife as the victim in all this, with the evil selfish cheating husband.

  238. RealisticSD says:

    OCSugarbaby, I am so sorry to hear that. I was so excited for you.

    NC Gent, my wife sleeps with me, but it is clearly very apathetic sex, yet if I don’t show interest in the her-just-grudgingly-laying-there sex, then she is pissed. My wife is so obsessed with the kids and with every nitty-gritty useless chore that she misses the big picture of what’s going on in our family. I sometimes wonder if our problems would vanish if she would agree to be treated for OCD, but she is too proud to ever accept that she could be contibuting even 1% to our problems.

  239. VillaCypris *396153* says:

    NC – oh really? That’s odd…. and sad….

    I think one’s ‘spirituality’ or ‘religion’ is highly personal, often formulated by years of thinking, asking questions, reading, researching (unless one abides by an organised religion and swallows beliefs without thinking), and no one should have the right to say what you believe is wrong or right.

    I respect what others believe, and expect that same courtesy in return.

    I’ll check out taoism, thanks!

  240. VillaCypris *396153* says:

    I’ve always wondered about that, as I have several male friends who are in their 40s and 50s, and whose wives have no interest in sex and intimacy. So they seek it elsewhere.

    Do the wives really think that they can deny their husbands what is such an integral part of a relationship and he will accept that? (or vice versa) and not find someone else with whom to share that?

    I don’t think it is “right” for one spouse to unilaterally decide “no more sex” and expect the other to abide by that decision.

  241. NC Gent says:

    Hey VC — I did some reading on the American Indian spirituality — very good stuff. I try to adopt that as my non-Christian spirituality. You might like the Tsaoism too – a lot of overlap. On a related note, a few weeks ago I was corresponding with a potential SB and when I told her I wasn’t Christian, she stopped responding. Seemed a little hypocritical to me – oh well — * Shrugs *

  242. NC Gent says:

    Sorry OC! Huge sugar hugs :)

    Hi RealisticSD — I stay with my wife for my daughter I guess. Fortunately, my wife and I still enjoy doing some things together, she just really has absolutely no interest in sex. She is extremely focused on keeping the kids happy, so in the back of my mind, when they get a little more self-sufficient, I am hoping she will refocus some of her energy on me. It really isn’t uncomfortable at home — she does a great job of keeping everything in order at home, which I know can be a full time job. We barely ever fight anymore either, which wasn’t the case pre-SB.

  243. VillaCypris *396153* says:

    Hope your son gets better – and you, too, Anna Molly!

  244. Anna Molly says:

    I’ve been sick for two weeks and I’m on my second round of antibiotics. This stinks! Hope I’m better for next week!

  245. VillaCypris *396153* says:

    Thank you Lady 8 ! I don’t know what it is, but fever/cough/muscle aches sound like flu… my dad left some Tamiflu for me at the house yesterday, but I don’t want to take it. He’s seen a ton of people in his office with it this week alone.

    well, I’ve spent years studying/researching all that… not just our own, but also native american spirituality, indian, etc. It’s amazing how everything correlates on a certain level. I’m fascinated by all which we cannot “see”… and there is plenty of that, believe me!

  246. cakepatty says:

    So sorry to hear that OC.

    Is there anything you could share with us SBs so we know what to look for in the future?

    Whatever happened, you are doing the right thing for the long run. Your safety and happiness are most important.

  247. That is too funny VC I tried the who astrology/tarot and when I was into it enough to do a spread it is surprising how it read true.

    And hope you get better soon VC, My son is still recovering from the bug we caught 3 weeks ago. The darn thing likes to linger.

  248. EastCoastFilly says:

    NYC SB: Glad you are ok. I’m sure you were as sexy as can be in the moment, lol

    OCSugarbaby: Sorry to hear it but do whats best for you!!!

  249. O dear, are you alright?

  250. VillaCypris *396153* says:

    Good morning from “flu-central”… :(

    OC – oh no!!!! So sorry to hear….

    Re zodiac signs – I am Aquarius… and as we are supposed to be the sign most into the metaphysical/astrology/tarot etc, I definitely am “into it”. It continues to amaze me how accurate “predictions” are….

  251. Anna Molly says:

    I’m sorry OC, what happened?

  252. Anna Molly says:

    NYC SB – Glad to hear you are doing o.k. physically and monetarily;
    you’re a lucky girl in more ways than just one :)

  253. NYC SB says:

    Realistic – I know… i was just clarifying my position :)

    • OCSugarbaby says:

      Good Morning Sugars…
      I am really upset today. I think I am going to have to end things with my SD. I have learned some things about him during the past 3 weeks and it really scares me. I was up all night last night trying to figure out what to do.

      • OCSugarbaby says:

        I am so sad. I really liked him! This is a case where you wish you could know things sooner, less pain. Can’t go into details, but I will see him tonight to end things. I just think it is best. Having a healthy SD relationship is so important to me. I can barely keep my eyes open at work today! So tired…

      • OCSugarbaby says:

        What to look for in the future? I did the research and it all checked out, except he fudged about 8 years on his age. But there was huge chemistry when we met, so that was a non issue. I think that I picked up on some clues along the way, but was not sure if they were flags or feelings. So, I let them play out. I am not one to ask or interrogate someone with a million questions. We spend a great deal of time together. Which was amazing and fun!
        He is wealthy and single, but the emotional and personal issues would be hard to pick up on right away. But I can see them clearly and need to get out quickly.
        ~sigh… I will be returning the gifts and allowance tonight. I do not want any of it.

  254. RealisticSD says:

    NYC SB, I was not suggesting that you choked to get out of intimacy.

    AtlNicole, I hate that feeling of limbo, not sure where things stand. Just better to move on.

    NC Gent, what my wife really hates is emotional intimacy, cuddling, spending time together, etc. You can’t even fight over that and win. I guess we are together for the sake of the kids.

  255. NYC SB says:

    thanks all for the well wishes…

  256. Glad that you are feeling alright NYCSB, How embarrassing, at least you did redeem yourself with that nice hunk of change.

    I am envious. 😀

  257. Good Morning Sugars.

    How is everyone this morning.

    It opened my eye as I am new to sugarland. Glad that the tidbit I found is being so helpful to everyone else as well.

    I think it depends on the mind set. I personally don’t want to get married any time soon, as I do not want to be trapped again.

    My previous husband waited till I was pregnant and married to him before he started being abusive (so that I would be too weak to protect myself), and he emptied my bank accounts, maxed out all of my cards, and got me fired from my job. He also tried to terminate the pregnancy, and is still trying to ruin my sons and I life.

    I know my surprise is not the norm, but to say the least the NSA SD/SB arrangement with a friend and mentor, suits me just fine. I want no drama, no fault feelings, but would like to spend time with someone who I can respect and admire.

  258. AtlNicole says:

    NYC – He has not responded to my texts in the last week. I didn’t want to bother him while he was on his vacation, so I wasn’t worried about it, but he has been back in town for 3 days and has not contacted me once. This happened about a month ago where I did not hear from him for two weeks and he suddenly showed back up. Seems crazy because when we are together we have amazing chemistry. I don’t know what is going on, but I can’t constantly be wondering if he is gone for good. Too much stress. Like the other ladies say…NEXT

  259. WIAriesSB*400983 says:

    NYC SB – Glad to hear you are ok!

  260. EastCoastFilly says:

    Good Morning Everyone

    I asked a question last night on my way out the door, just wanted to say thanks for the replies :)

  261. NC Gent says:

    Hi RealisticSD — I am a married SD, and to answer your question, I think having an SB helps my marriage. I gave up fighting with my wife for intimacy, and now get it elsewhere. It eliminated the number one thing we argued about.

  262. NYC SB says:

    Realistic – my goal was not to get out of intimacy lol

  263. NYC SB says:

    For full disclosure purposes … I will be paying capital gain taxes on that transaction… so I really walked away with less than that… either way… i am thankful 😀

    its good to see daddy waldorf proud of me

  264. RealisticSD says:

    Keep that in mind SBs: choking on a steak can be a good way to get out of intimacy, lol.

  265. Beach_Girl*395953 says:

    NYC SB~ yes and a shopping spree!

  266. NYC SB says:

    I am ok minus a huge embarassement on my part… i feel i redeemed myself later… and yes i walked away with my profits… well i wired them to my account… im thinking 3 week vacation is in order :)

  267. Beach_Girl*395953 says:

    NYC SB~ did you walk away from last night with 17K???? so jealous!!! lol
    Ahh chocking on steak? are you ok? and trowing up , humm very ahh embarrassing!

  268. NYC SB says:

    my view on test drives – the man is offering an allowance… which is no different than him saying “hey ok lets try an arrangement however, the first month i will compensate you each time we meet” … then you meet once and sparks fly you continue seeing the guy… or you meet no chemistry in the bedroom then you never see him again… just bc there is an arrangement in place it does not ensure that the SD will see you for a prolonged period of time…

  269. NYC SB says:

    wow way to spike blog activity while i was with SD…

    embarassing story – we went to dinner and i had one glass of wine… well i ended up choking on my steak… which lead into me gagging on it… and then i proceeded to throw up as someone gave me the heimlich manuver… sexy huh?

    needless to say no intimacy followed… but i did end up demonstrating how i will make money with the business venture and SD dearest allowed me to keep all profits from last night… cool $17k…

  270. Beach_Girl*395953 says:

    NYC SB~ If I go to NYC, we are so going to try!!! 😉

  271. NYC SB says:

    beach girl – grand havana room in nyc is prime spot… if you can get in… it is members only

  272. NYC SB says:

    ATL – what happened

  273. Beach_Girl*395953 says:

    I hear, Cigar bars are great hunting ground for SDs…

  274. WIAriesSB*400983 says:

    Good morning Sugar world….

    I totally agree with Annas view on middle ground! i think that would be fun!!!

  275. Beach_Girl*395953 says:

    Morning sugars!

    curious SD~ I think it all depends on the people involved. I would not be inclined to take a test drive, but I think flirting and enjoy what may come is always fun. If it’s done in a respectful and playful way…

  276. AtlNicole says:

    Good Morning Sugar World! I am back on the prowl for a new SD. The last one abused his second chance. Hopefully RedMaru and i will be able to set a date to go SD hunting together. Maybe it will work better as a pair :)

    Speaking of – Youve got mail Red.

  277. Anna Molly says:

    Wait….my wishful thinking tells me you were asking me on a date…LOL
    Sometimes I don’t catch the subtle hints :)

  278. Anna Molly says:

    NYGent – You’ll be able to spot me a mile away; I’ll be the one throwing my clubs in the water hazard….lol.

  279. Anna Molly says:

    curious SD – As a man you are a visual creature and I know it may be diffiuclt, but you have to try and stay true to what you really want. Of course you want a beautiful woman, but what else attracts you? I know it will be hard, but if you choose a SB based on looks alone then eventually it will fizzle, but I’m sure you already knew that :)

    Middle ground for me would be a good, old fashioned make out session. Take her to a bad movie, sit in the back row and make out. If it gets hot and heavy then, you know it will be hot in the bedroom. I would just make her wait a couple of dates before you head for home base. Just my opinion :)

  280. NYGent says:

    Anna Molly: or maybe on the golf course . . .

  281. Anna Molly says:

    Thanks NYGent…who knows maybe we will run into each other.

    I am certainly looking to have a good time between the sheets; being 34 I’m at my prime here! Would I end a relationship becuse he is lacking in the bedroom? No, I don’t think I would.

  282. curious SD says:

    Trying to balance some of the thoughts before, and would appreciate SB comments.

    I do not want a “test drive” or any way of of being unfair or disrespectful to you SBs.

    This site, however, is quite a candy store for us serious SDs. I have met so many stunningly beautiful women… So within the 10% that I feel chemistry with, how can my simple male brain differentiate?

    Is there no middle ground between “test drive” and “respectfully attempting whether our attraction extends to the bedroom?”

  283. WIAriesSB*400983 says:

    Well goodnight Sugarland… Statistics test is done…now time for sleep!!

  284. AtlNicole says:

    I know it is something that I would end a typical relationship over, as sad as that makes me, but somehow I think it would be harder to do with a SD. No sure I can put my finger on why though.

  285. SugaCaneBby says:

    Addendum: My opinion is based on the fact that the sex aspect is as big a deal for most SD as the money is for most SB. It’s his fullfillment for holding up his end of the bargain…excuse me if that sounds cold. :( I can’t find better words at the moment.

  286. SugaCaneBby says:

    AtlNicole – I can say with a 95% conviction no. I may hold on for a chance to teach him (the 5%), but I don’t have much patience in that department as I’m past the point of showing men how to accomplish the basics (hence going for older gentlemen). If he also enjoyed my company and valued my opinion on it, I’d stick it out, but if he was indifferent to the matter, then I’d call it quits. It doesn’t make sense to stay with a man who’s a bad lay. They’d catch on that you’re not into it eventually.

  287. WIAriesSB*400983 says:

    I agree with that too Ebony !

  288. WIAriesSB*400983 says:

    AtlNicole- I think i would continue a relationship even if he wasn’t good between the sheets. I have been in a relationship like that before and i don’t believe that “that” is everything. If he makes me happy in general and we are good friends why not keep the arrangement.

  289. Ebony says:

    Thanks sugarcane and Atl. On your question ATL the only way i’d stay wth such an Sd is if i had a regular bf or fuck buddy to keep me satisfed or else i dont think it’d work!

  290. AtlNicole says:

    Ebony – I think some men are just up front about wanting a sexual aspect to the arrangement. I woud imagine that they are making an effort to be clear so that there is no misunderstanding. The SDs on the blog have mentioned running into pots who did not think that sex was a part of the deal.

    I may get some heat for this, but I do not understand why sex is such a big deal to some people. Of course it is important to be safe, don’t get me wrong, but why would a woman look for an arrangement with no sex involved? Why not just go into this looking for a man that you are attracted to and see where it leads? Sex is way too much fun to deny it to yourself or to tell yourself that it is somehow wrong.

    A question for the SBs: would you continue an arrangement with a SD who was no good between the sheets? Let’s say he is a great guy and very generous and you love to spend time with him, but he doesn’t do anything for you *down there* I have not run into this situation yet, but I am sure that it has come up in the past, and I am not sure how I would want to handle it.

  291. SugaCaneBby says:

    Ebony – It’s a red flag, yes. It’s usually a sign that the individual is not serious or has no idea what the lifestyle entails, but that judgement is not 100%. Proceed with caution. Once again, going to refer to the list Lady_8 posted. Ask him what he thinks being a sugar daddy is. General consensus here is if one brings up sex, one has the right to bring up money and vice versa.

  292. SugaCaneBby says:

    Taz – Exactly. I, for one, am not sexually attracted to jerks. He could know his way around a woman’s body as if he were born one, but if his attitude isn’t right, I just won’t be able to do it.

    The list the Lady_8 posted about giving the arrangement a preliminary period of 2 weeks if you decide you have enough chemistry (but are worried about things declining quickly) is a great suggestion. That way, no one feels cheated? Just a suggestion if you do decide to pursue this particular pot.

  293. WIAriesSB*400983 says:

    Ebony- i would love an answer to that too since i am new to sugarland!

  294. Taz says:

    SugarCane – yes agreed compatibility is key before even getting to that kind of intimacy…physical chemistry lives in sparks, and ignites with a bit of effort 😉

  295. Ebony says:

    Hi everyone I have a question. Is it a red flag when a pot SD starts talking bout sex during the frst couple of emails? As in he asked me what i was looking for on the site and i told him then i asked him what he wanted and he said he expected expected some physical intimacy and what he wanted. Is that normal or…?

  296. Taz says:

    Thank you for your wisdom James – I was hoping someone would have a different perspective for me to be open minded about 😀 I will sleep on it…

  297. WIAriesSB*400983 says:

    I can’t stand when thats all the guy is about getting to the climax… I agree sugarcane about the compatibility thing…

  298. SugaCaneBby says:

    On the subject of bedroom chemistry, do people REALLY expect to be amazingly compatible with their partner the very first time they sleep together? Even the BEST lay I’ve ever had in my life was slipping up the first few times we copulated (as was I). We hadn’t learned each other’s triggers yet because…sex isn’t one size fits all. :\ Of course, once we got past the first time jitters and performance anxiety, consecutive encounters were just kosher (to understate). SO “test drives” and “screening for compatibility” sound like crap to me 100% of the time and make no sense to me. Then again, I’ve ran across quite a few individuals who just worry about getting to climax and that’s all it takes for them to be satisfied. Missionary. Cut and print.

    Just thought I’d throw that in there as well.

  299. SugaCaneBby says:

    Taz – If you’re not comfortable with it, I say ditch him. Let him know that you appreciate the opportunity (or not), but that that isn’t something you’d be ok with. And of course, wish him well with his search!

    OR

    You could be saucy like I would be and basically repeat his proposal back to him in basic crude english to let him know how crazy he is for proposing such an offer. :) “but if I then get ‘rewarded’ with an arrangement with him if I am good in bed??” except much, much more blunt.

    Option 1 is the diplomatic thing to do though.

  300. WIAriesSB*400983 says:

    Now girls the end of the semester is coming …for me 8more weeks… WE CAN DO IT!!!!

    i have a presentation due next week on how to use a pregnancy test.. LOL… and then i have an 8-15 page research paper due in a few weeks i am doing it on infertility… i just picked those topics cuz i figured they would be easy to find info on

  301. James says:

    Koi, that sounds flaky and like he’s poofing, sorry to say, but I hope I’m wrong.

    Taz, I’m going to take a contrarian view on this. It could be a p4p setup, or he may just be cautious. A month’s allowance can seem like a lot to risk if he’s concerned that it won’t continue for any reason. I’ve had several quality women actually propose to take it in “baby steps” to start because they wanted greater flexibility, didn’t want to feel obligated, and wanted the option to back out if they didn’t like the intimate chemistry or changed their mind for whatever reason, including my last serious SB (which lasted two years) and my current SB, with whom things are going well. In the end, it’s up to you to decide what you’re comfortable with, how much of a risk you’re willing to take and how likely you think it is, based on your sense of his good faith, that it will develop further if you do accept his proposal. But nothing ventured, nothing gained. You need to be appropriately careful, but you can’t set the threshold too high either. Just my view.

    Buttercup, I see a red flag when a grown man acts that way, particularly if you’ve told him that you need to work. Too demanding, too narcissistic (mommy pay attention to ME!), too inconsiderate, all under the guise of being “smitten.”

    Night sugars!

  302. Buttercup*381707* says:

    AtlNicole~ doesnt sound fun either, good luck on it hun., people always tell me one day its gonna back fire on me- lol- luckily it hasnt yet,.do you find yourself pulling all nighter too?

  303. AtlNicole says:

    Buttercup – I have to write a paper on forest ecology on and around the campus of my school. It is due monday and I have not even started yet.

  304. Buttercup*381707* says:

    WIAriesSB*400983 – i feel so much better now because im actually writting some critical analysis on gov expenditures/policy at the moment *yawns* – i think i found my match &*a beam of light shines from the skys* lol

    ontariosugar says:
    Very good idea.,.really you have? how? lol,.. thats amazing.,i would be the happiest sugar- forget gifts..well some-lets not go crazy here hehe

  305. Koi says:

    yay!!

    i’m a pretty pink whale!

  306. Koi says:

    just joined gravatar! testing… testing…

  307. WIAriesSB*400983 says:

    how do u do that koi?

  308. ontariosugar says:

    buttercup… get him to help with the homework lol ive done that before. haha

  309. Taz says:

    Ok I don’t want to mislead everyone – I think I was caught off guard with that paragraph – he did ALSO say in the paragraph preceding that, he understood when we first met it would be for dinner only. After that if we were compatible we could discuss the details. If we are not compatible it is one thing…but if I then get ‘rewarded’ with an arrangement with him if I am good in bed?? Ugh still…

    How would you respond to that?

  310. WIAriesSB*400983 says:

    Buttercup- Good luck on finding ur sugar a hobby….LOL… and i seem to excel under pressure too…like right now i should be doing my statistics take home midterm thats due tomorrow….

  311. Buttercup*381707* says:

    koi- sorry to hear hun,.hopefully hes just preoccupied and makes contact tomrrw *fingers crossed* if not, then he was definetly misleading you,.and definetly is not worth your time- “next”

  312. AtlNicole says:

    Alright. All caught up. I am a Scorpio, and I do believe in all of the astrological sign stuff. It is interesting. I will be 23 in exactly one week. Does that move me up to a higher age bracket? I have been told that I am mature for my age, probably because I was very young when I finished school.

    WIAriesSB – Google gravatar. Make sure you set up the account with whatever email you are using for the blog. Then you will be able to choose a picture to use as your blog avatar.

  313. WIAriesSB*400983 says:

    Koi… hope your search is successful!!!

  314. Buttercup*381707* says:

    ohh im the worst procrastinator as i leave everything to the last minute- but i excel under pressure–he’s just not being a great help when im already down to the last seconds and he constanty wants to carry 4 hour convos everyday ontop of seeing ea.other 2full days a week lol– im prettysure some advised me that there might be a time issue w my sugar..they mightve been right :(
    i might have to find him a hobby lol.,

  315. Koi says:

    Thanks WIAries.

    I’m just kinda bummed, because I really thought he and I had established a connection. Oh well, on with the search…

  316. WIAriesSB*400983 says:

    Buttercup hope all goes well tomorrow!!! And i know how the not getting stuff done cuz someone is txting or calling all the time …hehehe i am so terrible at procrastinating but sometimes it is well worth it!

  317. WIAriesSB*400983 says:

    Taz i think i would have to agree with Koi on that …something doesn’t seem quite right.

    and IMO Koi that seems strange…but i have actually been in that position, i mean not with a SD but just a guy i met. Things seemed great then all of a sudden nothing… i still have no clue what happened. I wish i had more insight and were able to help you more.

  318. Buttercup*381707* says:

    Hi sugars!! Hope everyone had a good day:)

    Im excited because i have a date w my pot tmrw., but im also alittle weary as i think i might be stepping into a full time boyfriend situation- we get along great but im having trouble writting my reports as someone is constantly calling and texting and emailing-basically at the same times!! lol., and he just asked to move our date from 5pm-2pm ending mdnight because he wants to spend more time.,hmmm..

    Taz- i think hes definetly looking for a test-drive.,.show him to a nice car dealership,.hehe.. but i actually had a pot from t.o say exactly]word for word what Lady 8 posted:
    #24)He’s interviewing several women since he pays her a large allowance and wants to be sure the “one” is sexually compatible–can you spell “NAIVE”

    ps- thanks for the wisdom list lady 8

  319. ontariosugar says:

    hey Taz… I added you to my msn. Hope to chat with ya soon!!

  320. Beach_Girl*395953 says:

    WIAriesSB~ it’s engravatar something,,,, not sure!

  321. Beach_Girl*395953 says:

    Red Scouser ~ good luck! you can still be on the blog…. just change your name!

  322. WIAriesSB*400983 says:

    RealisticSD says:
    October 21, 2009 at 11:13 pm

    Gurlnextdoor, I have to respectfully disagree. Love does not = drama. Expectations = drama

    I must agree!

    But i do have to side a little with gurlnextdoor cuz some of my FWB relationships have been great… they have turned into some of my best guy friends in the sense we can talk about anything and everything. And they never judge me!!!

  323. WIAriesSB*400983 says:

    Sorry i have been trying to get caught up but like JetSet said earlier… no matter how much you try to keep up i fall further behind in convo…and Since its my first day exploring the blog i can see how addicting it can be!!

    Just hoping to make some friends in the sugar world to converse with :)

    DeeSweetOne from WI aka WIAriesSB i thought this name might fit better …

    Also Question: how do u get the pic up in the right hand corner? Ready and willing to learn all kind of things :)

  324. Red Scouser – Good luck! Remember…the best ones are on the blog :-)

    AtlNicole – Been there! I used to be the TA for Anatomy lab. If I remember right, Ivory bar soap can help.

    Taz & Koi – let me know when you find the answers!

  325. AtlNicole says:

    Hello All. Still catching up on what I missed today. I hope everyone had a wonderful hump day.

    I got to dissect a fetal pig today in my Biology class. I think I took the longest shower of my life afterward. I can still smell it. ugh.

  326. Red Scouser says:

    Evening all – after much thought I’m going to give this SD lark a try. I’ve joined & we’ll see where it goes – coming soon to a theater near you. I doubt i’ll be posting here anymore as I don’t want SB i’m contacting to read what’s on my mind (or connect the two) but thanks for everyone’s help. I still haven’t resolved my dilemma of ascertaining bedroom skills before the fact BUT I guess i’ll have to try it out. Have fun guys and gals.

  327. Koi says:

    Hi Taz,

    IMO it doesn’t sound right. Have you been emailing/chatting on the phone for a while? Or is this the original/first email and proposition? Could be he does this quite a bit. How many pot SB’s has he compensated for the first (and last) time to see if they were a fit? How would you feel if after the first time, he said he wasn’t interested? I would feel used, so that’s not something I would consider.

  328. Koi says:

    Opinions Please!

    I met with a pot SD who came to visit me in my hometown over the last two days. The first date went very well, we had a nice dinner and discussed arrangement. He told me what he was looking for and how often he would require me to travel to him. And while a bit surprised by my allowance requirement, he said he would think it over. Then we had drinks and conversation at the bar. We had a great time and he sent me a text saying, “I miss you already” when I was on my way home.

    The next day, we met for more getting to know and fun on the town He said that he decided he is willing to meet my allowance requirement. He said he would talk to his secratary and figure a way of getting me either on his payroll or an allowance card. We went shopping a bit and he bought me a couple of nice things. So far, so good! We had another fun night, and he told me he really liked me and was looking forward to an arrangement with me.

    Then today we were supposed to meet before he left for his hometown. He didn’t answer my morning text or call me back. No emails either. What happened?

  329. Beach_Girl*395953 says:

    Taz~ sounds like a pay for play ! I can say what i really want here but….I can tell you later!

  330. Beach_Girl*395953 says:

    Night GND~ have a great sugar date tomorrow!

  331. Taz says:

    Ok SB goddesses (and any SD’s out there that would like to chime in!) how do I respond to this? (a snippet of an email from a pot.)

    “Given that sexual attraction and compatibilty are very important and necessary components of a successful arrangement, I would prefer to compensate you for our first intimate encounter separately from an ongoing monthly allowance. Obviously, if we decide after our first encounter that we are not a good match, the payment of an ongoing monthly allowance would be inappropriate.”

    How do I sugar coat my reply properly? I understand his point, but still does not make me feel so warm and fuzzy :( We have been sending emails on and off for a month. He seems pretty sincere but that kind of threw me off…

  332. gurlnextdoor says:

    Night sugars I’m off to take a bubble bath and then get some sleep. Gotta get up early for my sugar date.

  333. Realistic: “being married takes off so much of the pressure. I know I won’t be with the SB forever, so I try to enjoy every moment.”

    There is no doubt in my mind it does. If I were an SD, I might even be tempted to tell an sb that I’m married simply b/c it allows for a certain appreciation for the time together, yet implies that all good things must come to an end w/o hard feelings. (Hope that made sense.)

  334. gurlnextdoor says:

    Well RealisticSD I think your right about that too. In my experience most people expect something when someone loves them and usually it’s more than they are willing to give. So maybe it’s selfish love that equals drama. Either way I’m not looking to fall in love with anyone right now. The last time I did that it ended a really good friendship with someone who was my best friend until they crossed that line into wanting more. But that’s a whole other story….

  335. RealisticSD says:

    Gurlnextdoor, I have to respectfully disagree. Love does not = drama. Expectations = drama

  336. gurlnextdoor says:

    James yes it was more of a friends with benefits relationship I guess you could say, but it was probably one of the best sexual relationships I’ve experienced in my little life so far. We could talk about anything with each other, which was really nice. It just felt right and I guess I prefer that over love. To me love = drama and I hate drama. Well at least it does eventually to me.

  337. RealisticSD says:

    NewSB in SB, being married takes off so much of the pressure. I know I won’t be with the SB forever, so I try to enjoy every moment.

    James, I am not sure if my marriage would last the kids going to college. Unfortunately for me, that’s over a decade away.

  338. Taz says:

    Realistic – I have heard this before…and I agree it is either guilt or being in your own happy little bubble that allows a man (or woman..but in this sense mostly men I think) to ‘tolerate’ what he would not necessarily tolerate otherwise. For some I think it works, and if that ‘crutch’ makes everyone happier…

  339. Beach_Girl*395953 says:

    Ok James and NYGent~ it would be nice to know who you guys are, are you willing to share your profile #???

  340. James said:
    “sometimes the hardest thing of all for a guy to do is simply stand still and accept and appreciate things the way they are. If we’re not going somewhere, we’re wasting time.”

    Ah – it’s a blessing and a curse. I love the drive and power of a successful man…I tolerate, but appreciate, his restlessness and inability to enjoy the moment.

  341. James says:

    Gurl, I like the “tribute” line, very cute. Not sure I’d get more explicit at this point or in writing. You should be able to assume he’s read the expectations in your profile. But I would raise it directly if he starts to head towards the bedroom (metaphorically) when you meet, particularly if you’re looking for a month upfront. Needs to be discussed before the hormones completely clog the brain. Thanks for your thoughts on my post. In my terms, I would probably call your relationship with your ex lover “friends with benefits” rather than love. I have heard many girls say how turned off they are by the “I want you to have my baby” types, and I get that completely.

    But even those of us who’ve been around the block and know better can still develop some strong bonds of intimacy and mutual concern over the course of a long affair, which I am tempted to call love. I’m even willing to suggest that some SD’s are actually using sex (or a sexual arrangement) to get love (or some form of it).

    NewSB, maybe the basic boundaries are the answer — you can be in love “without it meaning anything” because for it to mean anything it would have to lead to marriage, following divorce following drama. But I guess I feel like there may be shades of meaning besides the conventional “happy” ending of marriage or exclusive bonding. And sometimes the hardest thing of all for a guy to do is simply stand still and accept and appreciate things the way they are. If we’re not going somewhere, we’re wasting time.

    ECF, depends on where you all live, but I think you’re right to be a bit skeptical, particularly if he has a family.

    Realistic, appreciate your candor. Your name is well chosen. I held on that way for years, until one day I finally cracked and created all kinds of drama. Pulled it back together and worked things out with my wife for the sake of the kids. Now they’re off to college and sometimes I wonder if the compromise still works …

    As for Steve Phillips, the guy is an out of control serial sexual harasser, whose career was almost destroyed by this before and then went back to it. Sleeping with young women who work for you is stupid beyond belief and almost inevitably leads to trouble. In sugar terms, he’s the kind of wannabe who wants free “auditions” and picks the young ones because they’re naive enough to go along with it.

  342. RealisticSD and NewTXSB….

    Awwwww…you two are so smitten. All the best!!!

  343. NewTXSB says:

    “RealisticSD says:
    Can you believe it? I haven’t seen NewTXSB all day But we tried to make up for it yesterday by seeing each other twice.”

    I believe it! 😉 It’s ok….we’ll make up for it tomorrow…. :)

  344. gurlnextdoor says:

    Aww that’s so cute RealisticSD, missing TexasSB. :) I’m sincerely jealous even if I do sound somewhat sarcastic at times.

    I want some blissful and happy months of sugardom. I’m hopeful since my SD was with his current (soon to be ex) SB for almost 3 years.

  345. RealisticSD says:

    Can you believe it? I haven’t seen NewTXSB all day :(
    But we tried to make up for it yesterday by seeing each other twice.

  346. NewTXSB says:

    “RealisticSD: blissful and happy months of sugardom.”

    That sounds amazing……..your SB is very lucky to be able to share this “hope” with you. :)

  347. photogirl says:

    “blissful and happy months of sugardom” sounds lovely

    Realistic says: “I find that it helps because it is much easier to ignore my wife’s constant nagging and negativity”

    Sorry…could not help but laugh at this.

  348. Beach_Girl*395953 says:

    James ~ nice to see you back! And to answer your question. I think it depends how one sees love… I prefer lust, anticipation, and the likes…

  349. RealisticSD says:

    A question for the married SDs on this blog? Do you think that having an SB helps or hurts a marriage? I find that it helps because it is much easier to ignore my wife’s constant nagging and negativity when I am cheating on her, whether it is because of the low-level guilt or because I am distracted or because I simply have less time to deal with her. If not for SBs, I’d have much more reason to sort out our marriage’s problems, which if anything would be more likely to further doom it.

  350. Beach_Girl*395953 says:

    NewSB in SB~ Yes, It is me Sweety, I am back to my original name!

  351. Beach_Girl*395953 says:
    I, personally, can’t wait to find “blissful and happy months of sugardom.”

    Me too! Is that you sweety?

  352. Beach_Girl*395953 says:

    Evening Sugars!

    I, personally, can’t wait to find “blissful and happy months of sugardom.”

    How is everyone?

  353. RealisticSD says:

    “They tend to think of it as 2K this month, and if it goes well, then 2K the next month” (NYGent): So absolutely true. That’s how it all adds up. A couple thousand here, a few thousand there, this SB, that SB, and it all adds up to a very expensive form of entertainment. The key for the SD is to have a deep enough pocket not to notice the money missing and a psyche that prevents him from really adding up what he has spent vs. what he has gotten in return.

    As a friend of mine says, the cheapest sex is the one you pay for–i.e. an escort–as you just pay for the sex and that’s it, no dinners, no gifts, no allowance. But what’s the fun in that? More than anything we are paying for hope–as you put it, the hope of “blissful and happy months of sugardom.”

  354. NYGent says:

    ecf: 150-200K and net worth 1M is enough to support 2K a month, provided he is not buying yachts, paying alimony, or joining 100K a year country clubs. It’s all about your priorities. And I think a lot of SDs (myself included) don’t really focus heavily on a calculation that says 2K x 12 mos = 24K, OMG! (or in my case 5K x 12 = 60K, OMG!) They tend to think of it as 2K this month, and if it goes well, then 2K the next month, etc., in which case it doesn’t sound so bad. While 24K a year may sound like a lot, if it’s 12 blissful and happy months of sugardom most guys will feel it worthwhile. Also I have to ask: is it 2K allowance and an equal or greater amount on top in perks? That’s where the SD spending tends to add up, although I must say that’s the fun part!

  355. RealisticSD says:

    Flo Rida, you handled it so well. I would have been pissed. I don’t handle delays, interrogations, etc. well. I guess I am too spoiled at work and I am too used to just having things my way without delay. Had to run some a bunch of errands yesterday (seems like years since I have done such a thing), and I realized that the rest of the world runs on its own clock, not mine. Man, if I ran my work the way these other places run, I’d never be able to afford an SB.

  356. RealisticSD says:

    EastCoastFilly, the guy makes somewhere between 7-11K/month after taxes, depending on where he lives. I suppose if he lives a very simple life, he could afford 1-2K/month, but he is clearly not going to be able to lavishly spoil an SB.

    James, I don’t know the right answer to the love issue either. I was involved in a very romatic affair with an IRL mistress/SB and we were totally in love with one another, but at the end I ended up staying with my wife simply because I figured that if I did leave her for my mistress, I’d end up again grumpily married a few years down the road. In essence, I concluded that marriage will ruin any romance. Knowing that I won’t leave my family for someone else has made it easier for me to set boundaries in my relationships with subsequent women, even when feelings have developed. I have also learned that my wife will overlook quite a bit because at the end she is somehow happy with our miserable marriage. By implication, my SBs realize that if we are caught, it is the end of the SB as opposed to the end of me or my marriage (i.e. my wife will keep me but I won’t be able to see SB again).

  357. gurlnextdoor says:

    Lol thanks NYGent, I did that somewhat. I told him that this princess needs some tribute if she’s going to be pleasuring the king and he said “of course”. Although maybe I should’ve said exactly what I want as my allowance since I never really was clear on it even though my profile says $1k-$3k.

  358. NYGent says:

    anna malloy: good luck.

  359. NYGent says:

    gurl: i’d bring up allowance now but in an equally playful way (“well, of course you know it’s gonna cost you!”) and see how he reacts. if he treats it as a joke, you can treat his sex talk likewise. Idea is to not let him get ahead of you.

  360. Taz says:

    Sincere SD – Reignite the passionate flames with the other SB’s then 😉

    Anna Molly – go for it and meet him! Never know girl 😉

    In agreement about the princess thoery flo rida!! Aaaand LMAO at that story – I would have been maaaad! lol…

    I care Anna Molly 😉 And I am a Capricorn!

    Thanks Lady_8 – enjoyed reading and so true

  361. gurlnextdoor says:

    Ok so I have a question. Pot SD whom I’m meeting tomorrow is talking sex, not in that blunt “I want to rip your clothes off” way. But more like in a very playful manner which doesn’t really bother me. Do you think I should bring up the allowance now or wait till tomorrow?

  362. cakepatty says:

    ECF-

    I think this topic has been addressed recently and someone brought up the fact that the SD could be understating his wealth to avoid the gold diggers.

    That said he could also be willing to devote a lot of that income to his SB. Do you put your desired allowance in your profile? If not he could be looking for an under 1K arrangement. That might also mean he only wants to see you once a month not 4 times a month. At that salary he could afford to pay you 20% and still have a lot left over. Maybe he bought his home with cash and doesn’t have a mortgage. Who knows. I would give him a chance and if he agrees to the allowance and you like each other what difference does it make.

    Oh I didn’t ask. I assumed you were looking for an allowance of maybe 3K which is average. If you are looking for a 10K allowance then I could understand your concern

  363. James – IMHO – falling in love depends on the couple.. as long as both parties have a realistic expectation of how far the relationship can go (i.e. no divorces, no drama), then consider yourself lucky to have met someone you feel so strongly about. It does make me wonder if sb/sd relationships among singles has led to marraige and how often. It seems to me that would defeat the purpose of the arrangement. Since I have not having had an sd YET, this leaves me at a disadvantage. That being said, I feel like the primary advantage of the sb/sd experience is being able to engage in mutually beneficial relationships with a variety of successful men who are willing to mentor, pamper, and allow you to grow. I find it rare to find that in a traditional relationship b/c life gets in the way and the mentoring, pampering, growing gets put aside.

    Realistic – “Of course you are really beautiful, otherwise I would have never put up with you for two days.”
    ROTFLMAO!!!

    Lady 8 – love the post!

    Flo Rida – I would have been terrified! Then laughed my a** off! Good for you for handling it so gracefully. I def think you need to step up and give it back to him. I’m sure our collaborative minds could think of something.

    XOXO
    NSB

  364. gurlnextdoor says:

    James I understand that a married man can still fall in love, but the chances of him trying to marry me or get me pregnant are a lot lower. I do think that a certain amount of love does develop between a SB and his/her SD the longer they are together. But I think that love is more akin to what I felt for one of my ex lovers. It wasn’t a romantic love but it was more like a mixture of lust and a love that was based on the fact that we trusted each other and knew that we were each other’s greatest confidantes. I can deal with that, just not the crazy “I love you and want to marry you and have you carry my baby” talk.

  365. EastCoastFilly says:

    Can anyone explain to me how a man who makes 150,000-200,000 and claims to have a net worth of 1 million can be a real SD? Isn’t that kinda not enough to afford a couple thousand a month for a SB?

    Just one of those things that make you go hmmm?

  366. The Lone Gunman says:

    Anna Molly says:

    Did you guys hear about the Steve Phillips sex scandal over at ESPN? I would like to know how many SD’s had similar experiences and what you did about them?

    Since I don’t follow sports (or the people who comment on them), I had to make an effort and look up this story.

    Basically, it appears that he landed himself a nutjob.

    Similar experiences? No–the most I have ever thought about is the potential for attempted blackmail (and I’m looking at you, Letterman!). A blackmail attempt would be an utter failure on me.

    TLG

  367. James says:

    Realistic, I agree completely. I think true polyamory is also possible for some people. But is it wise to fall in love with your SB? Is it what she really wants, or is it a burden? Does expressing that love help or hurt the relationship? More deeply, is it possible to fall in love and still be happy with the boundaries of an SD/SB relationship? This has been my greatest challenge in this world. Maybe that’s why these relationships need to end. Maybe it’s just a question of how you personally define “love” or being “in love.”

  368. RealisticSD says:

    NYGent said, “I think there are a few SBs — very small percentage — who truly believe that there are SDs out there that will pay 5-10K a month just for the privilege of hanging out with them.” As I have met a number of these SBs, I’d have to conclude that they are not rare at all. One of them, as I was breaking up with her, exclaimed, “I am a beautiful girl! All guys like me!” to which I replied, “Of course you are really beautiful, otherwise I would have never put up with you for two days.”

    Anna Molly, perhaps he disappeared because he was with another SB, it didn’t work out, he was interested in you all along, and now he can give you a try. I agree with Gemini’s recommendation as to what to do though because there is no other objective way to tell.

    Gemini, don’t forget the challenge of dating someone who is ambiguous with respect to his/her feelings. Most people end up putting in a lot of effort to clear up the abiguity. In essence, we put more energy into challenging situations, although those situations tend not to pan out.

    Kit-Kat, you’re right, each bad SB makes it harder for the next one. I assume the same goes for SDs as well.

    Ms Behavin, the 18-23 age group is full of drama queens and the type who expect a man to be their slave simply because they look good. Women in the late 20s to early 30s have lives complicated by marriage, the desire to get married, complicated divorces, children, the desire to have children, etc. For someone in their 50s, perhaps the SBs in their late 30s would be ideal, but when you’re in your 30s, these are the age groups you will be mostly dealing with. But in reality, you can’t tell until you meet someone and get to know them, as any age group will have some gems.

    James, I think you can definitely love more than one person. It is possible to love one’s mistress or SB and still remain married, happily or not so happily, to one’s wife, whom one also loves.

  369. Anna Molly says:

    Did you guys hear about the Steve Phillips sex scandal over at ESPN? I would like to know how many SD’s had similar experiences and what you did about them?

  370. Have fun ladies and gents. Talk to everyone tomorrow.

  371. Thanks,

    was racking my brain on whether to find a place to post as to not crowd the blog, but decided it would be worth the hog.

    And on that note James, everyone woman looks for the ‘white knight’ but to sweep her off of her feet. Not enable her destructive tendencies.

  372. James says:

    I’ve had serious relationships with SB’s ranging in age from 24 to 38. I’ve tried with a number who were younger, but as I’ve said before, the success rate is not good, if you define success as something that lasts and develops. I had one medium serious relationship with a woman in her mid-40’s but ironically she was so well established and busy with her own life that the mutual logistics proved to be too difficult.

    As to the “right way” to break up, I think it might depend on the relationship and the quality of the communication. My recent break-up deserved a face to face, for my self-respect as well as respect for her and our relationship. But it didn’t necessarily make it easier and at some point you have to look them in the eye, say bye-bye and walk away, and that’s brutal no matter how you do it. There’s also a bit of ambiguity in that the other person may wonder if there’s something they can do to change your mind, your attempt to be decent may be misread as an invitation to try (and you might even be tempted to change your mind yourself). That’s why, if you really want to end it definitively, the remote approach might be cleaner.

    The worst break up I ever had with an SB (maybe more) was basically done by messenger. After I caught her in an outrageous lie and asked her about it on the phone (also after she came back from a trip), I asked if she wanted to meet. She said no, so the conversation ended, I messengered her stuff to her and she sent my stuff back with the messenger. Very professional, all done by day’s end.

    Very interesting use of the term “rescuers” — I wonder if that is a recurring tendency among at least a certain group of SD’s. I know I’ve had that tendency too. It does seem to be rather natural in this context (as opposed, let’s say, to the escort world). And many SB’s claim to be seeking their white knight!

    Which leads me to ask what the SB’s think about this comment made by one SB speaking candidly to another complaining about SD’s falling in love with her and getting scared: “that’s why my policy is married men, but still that doesn’t stop them falling in love, can they fall in love without either of you having to make it mean anything?” Can you really be in love with someone and not have it mean anything? Is there a role for love in the SD/SB relationship?

  373. SugaCaneBby says:

    Great post, Lady_8.

  374. SugaCaneBby says:

    Flo Rida – I would have shat myself, ESPECIALLY if I was sleep deprived and still had alcohol running through my system. Your SD has a wicked sense of humour though. I’d totally try to get him back. :3

    On the topic of maturity, I guess I see now why that on SD told me I was mature for my age. O_o I have a youthful streak, yes, but there’s a time and place for everything. I also look very young (I’m small) and no one believes me when I tell them I’m 21 until they have a conversation with me. Then all of sudden, they need a dictionary or some jazz like that (which I don’t know whether I should be flattered or disappointed by). Young looks run in my family. My aunt and mother get mistaken for being their children’s siblings all the time.

    You def can’t judge a book by the cover. This is going to sound general and of course there are exceptions, but you know what’s great about people who weren’t fawned over and told they were beautiful everyday of their life? They were forced to develop a personality to get noticed.

  375. 1. If he says don’t ask about allowance, gifts…most likely you’ll never see it.

    2. No money talk, Say no sexy talk—see how long the conversation lasts

    3. The “kick the tires” is as credible as not paying for an Rx til after you heal

    4. Ask him–define what a sugardaddy is to you? You may be shocked!

    5. Ask him–why do you do it? Listen–it defines “intent”

    6. If you pay 10 cents in costs to meet him–you are dealing with a scam artist

    7. If your from Las Vegas or a Dancer–NOT

    8. No matter how great he looks to you–he still is someone’s EX

    9. “RESPECT” is crucial to any meeting; “TACKY” is being his guest and while he’s out you go online to check your Sugardaddy4Me email

    10. BTW: the “oh daddy, I don’t want to dance anymore or bartend” is getting VERY old–

    11. You are not the exception–he attracts certain women for a reason

    12. If he’s a no-show the first time, you can rest assure you will NEVER be a priority.

    13. Establish the financial needs online or on the phone–NOT at the date

    14. 75% of the men don’t have the $ just pretend to get a girl they normally couldn’t get; 20% have the $ but are weekenders (different girl each weekend but pretend it may be long term); 5% have the $ and are long term SDs.

    15. There are reasons why we do not meet certain members–if they walk like a duck, talk like a duck (and lay eggs)..it’s a DUCK!

    16. If he shows RESPECT to women in his past–ex, mother, animals…it’s a very GOOD sign

    17. Don’t use the “look at me on cam” and expect that to commit him to send $$

    18. If you’re suggesting he’s “IT”, tell him you’re talking to someone else if you are–believe it or not, “honesty” plays a role here occasionally

    19. There is no difference between a “lie” and “deception”

    20. The time to tell him you’re a porn star, married, have an STD, or a trans-anything is online NOT at dinner

    21. PLEASE! Don’t complain that his sexual innuendos are offensive when you show your cleavage, a**, as the lead-in to your profile-take some responsibility.

    22. You want $7,500-$10,000 a month and you are 20, live in Podunk, where the per capita income is $800 a month–PLEASE.

    23. If he says he wants marriage and love–don’t buy it–he is from the old school and thinks this is what a woman wants to hear–he knows men use love to get sex and women use sex to get love—

    24. He’s interviewing several women since he pays her a large allowance and wants to be sure the “one” is sexually compatible–can you spell “NAIVE”

    25. Meet—agree to no intimacy–if it feels right, agree to a 14 day term–the allowance is shared–explore everything during that period–if the chemistry is there–then move forward–

    26. Bragging–If he boasts about it–mostly likely it isn’t so–men brag about their shortcomings be it money, being a lavish SD, or other numerical claims

    27. If he’s NOT full access–do the math–he wants something for nothing.

    28. Most often MEANS the OPPOSITE: drama free; no games; honest to a fault; too trusting; too generous; trust me; you won’t be sorry; you won’t regret it; hates dishonesty; loves God (uses spirituality to justify manipulation)

    29. Photos: Dump the shots of you & a guy; Hanging backwards is NOT pretty; Don’t show cleavage unless you’re showing waist; Why show me size 4 if you’re now size 14

    30. Why is the guy in the shot always your best friend or a gay friend?

    31. The cleavage approach doesn’t fool anyone-he eventually has to see the rest of your body–then you’re offended when he bails due to being “BBW” status–

    34. Remember this is an SD site-it’s not eHarmony nor Match.com–yes you can find long term, even find love, but if you’re in a “paint store” don’t ask for lingerie

    35. If he says that he won’t RUSH into an SD relationship–READ BETWEEN THE LINES–it means ZERO $–

    36. If he’s offended at my profile -he’s not a real SD

  376. Though it is rather long winded. so warning in advance

  377. OOOOOoo I found something that I think would be gold to the ladies here. I just found a sugar daddy 101 at the groups of the y place. And they found this from sd4m profile of a sd who used to post there.

  378. Anna Molly says:

    I’m 34 :) and a virgo…if anybody cares…and I’m sure you don’t :)

  379. JetSet says:

    Tooo Stinkin Funny Florida..

    Now i’m curious as to how he was able to set all that up.. And is it almost borderline creepy that he went all that way?!?! Maybe just a prankster.. But would not start off my trip to a foreign country on the right foot!

  380. EastCoastFilly says:

    Doh! Yes its easier when they are single. I don’t think I cold pull this off even with a BF, way too much stress, lol

  381. NC Gent says:

    Hi ECF! I’ve had sugar dates with women as mature as 42 yo. My most physically attractive sugar date was with a 37 yo :) but she later revealed she was married and uncertain if she could get away in the evenings much – hubby asked a lot of questions lol

  382. Holly Golightly says:

    For those of you who think NSA (No sex allowed) is laughable check this out. Couldn’t belive my eyes when i found it. As an oxford alumnus i must have led an unbelievably sheltered existence there had no idea all this was going on. Clearly I have been barking up wrong tree here!

    An escort agency staffed by Oxford University students has been temporarily suspended so its manager can concentrate on his finals.

    Nick Dekker, 23, left, a classics student at Balliol College, set up the website http://www.oxbridge-escorts.com, offering male and female undergraduates as dates for clients willing to pay a £100 registration fee.

    The emphasis is on providing sparkling company for an evening date — but not sex.

    As reported in the late edition of yesterday’s (May 4) Oxford Mail, Mr Dekker has posted a message on his website telling clients they will have to wait until July for dates.

    Mr Dekker said his college advised him to shut down the website until he has completed his exams.

    He added: “I’ve had to take the site offline for the moment because of issues with the college.

    “They were concerned about the effect it would have on my finals. We agreed I would concentrate on my work.

    “I think they were also a bit worried about the publicity.

    “They said I should get on with my work and we would talk about it after my exams.”

    Interest in the website has come from as far away as China.

    Mr Dekker added: “The number of hits we’ve had is enormous and we have clients who want to start using the service immediately.

    “It will be good to get it up and running later in the year.”

    More than 20 students have offered their services so far and the business is also expected to operate in Cambridge.

    A university spokesman said: “Staff at the student’s college may have spoken to him but we were not aware that the website had been suspended.”

    Rebecca Wilkinson, women’s representative of Oxford University Students’ Union, has expressed concern about the new venture, and urged women students to try to make money in other ways.

  383. EastCoastFilly says:

    NC Gent, never go up to 37? 😉 don’t know what your missing, lol.

  384. O that was mean, esp. consider you weren’t exactly at your best.

    mmm. Looks like maybe 1upmanship is in order. 😉

  385. NC Gent says:

    Hi all. Thought I would chime in. I’ve had 3 sbs. They were 27 30 and 33. The 33 yo was the least mature of the three. The best sugar date I ever had was with a 21 yo SB, and I actually didn’t think she was attractive as my other SBs, but we had a lot in common and she was hilarious. You can’t judge a book by its cover or age :) best wishes with your new pot SB, NYGent!

  386. gurlnextdoor says:

    Haha Flo Rida that would’ve scared the crap out of me too!

  387. Flo Rida says:

    New SB in SB – i’m an Aquarius – Feb bday.

    This week & next week i’ll be in NY, Atlanta, Chicago, Charlotte, West Palm Beach & England. Packing is a serious challenge (i still don’t trust hotel dry cleaners with all my clothes BUT guess I have to). I thought Chicago would be colder.

    Let’s switch the topic to another story – this time bashing me. So I land in Eastern Europe, jet lagged & sleep deprived (my fault I watched a lot of movies & drank everything & so crashed for say 2 hours) & there’s supposed to be someone to meet me b4 immigration – but no one’s there. So no bigee I think, & I go thru immigration. They ask me a bunch of questions, confer, direct me to an interrogation room, give me disgusting water & coffee (i try not to drink but I was so dehydrated & tired). SD & expeditor appear in the interrogation room & in front of everyone pulls out about $500 (equivalent) & offers a bribe. Immi guys decline the bribe. I think I’m in trouble, what did I do & why can’t I be jailed out by money. Then an interrogator says i’m being deported back to the US and i’m given a 1 page document to sign (in foreign language) & only word I can read is ‘violator’. I say i’m not signing this without a lawyer. i’m like really scared but hey it’s just a deportation at least i’ll get to go home. Then everyone BURSTS out laughing & I realize i’ve been pranked. I say funny haha I just wana go to bed. This was my initiation in the crazy world of SD-dom. At least SD knew I could handle pressure.

    ok poke fun at me now.

  388. gurlnextdoor says:

    Haha lady 8 I got stopped by the police while in Miami, the cop thought that my friend was trying to pick up an underage girl, lol.

    I’m also a cusp! Libra and Scorpio though.

  389. only if all of us get real SD’s

    LOL

  390. Holly Golightly says:

    Wow so many Sags. I see a pattern developing, maybe this horoscope stuff is true afterall!

  391. Cuspy, 😀 and exactly the middle. 😉

  392. photogirl says:

    Another Sag here.

    Flo Rida – Agree with you…

  393. CrèmeBruléeNY says:

    Lady 8 – scorp or sag or a cuspy?

  394. GND I feel your annoyance, I still get carded most of the time, and when I was younger the cops tried to bust me for curfew when I was 23. (curfew in Vegas is for those under 16 btw)

    My guess is that when I stop getting carded is when I will get annoyed that they think I look old. lol So I guess I should just stop B*tching and just enjoy.

  395. lisa says:

    i’m a scorpio and my ex husband was a scorpio, grandma who died years ago was a Sag, she would be 119 this year if she were still alive, that’s old, lol

  396. NewTXSB says:

    Niice…..I count 5 Sag SBs so far…..

  397. new sb in sb says:

    Sounds like we need a fall and spring sugar bash! A few blogs ago we had several March and April celebrations.

  398. CrèmeBruléeNY says:

    wow.. A Sagy here too.. Very end of Nov.

  399. Flo Rida says:

    i’ll get stick for this but i’d suspect that these SBs are 20ish super hot. It may not be age related it could be they’re so attractive they’re already princesses & ‘aging – maturation’ may not solve that.

    Sincere and NYGent may be living out a fantasy that that’s the SB they want and they may not be satisfied when reality intrudes – sorry guys. ie lessons are repeated until they are learned.

    many of my GFs repeat the type of guys they date – maybe NYGent & Sincere are the male equivalent. also as I said before a ‘hang out allowance’ on a tiered basis limits the $ commitment – and incentivizes SB to ahem step up to the plate (but if SBs are that hot they’ll be some SD willing to do no sex allowed). having said that if $ don’t mean much to you (as opposed to self esteem) then spend away.

  400. lisa says:

    Good evening everyone. Not looking forward to birthdays anymore, they come to quickly , mine is in less than 3 weeks

  401. Holly Golightly says:

    NewTXSB.

    I have the same experience I think it describes me pretty well. Its just if i take the time to read descriptions for other signs I tend to think that sounds like me too. Most confusing! ..lol

  402. gurlnextdoor says:

    Ms Behavin thanks… I just find it odd that most people when they first see me assume I’m underage 70% of the time, but then when they speak to me they then think I must be like 25, lol.

  403. Wow looks like most of us are fall babies. Mine is almost exactly 1 month

  404. NewTXSB says:

    “Holly Golightly says:
    NewTXSSB
    Lets hear it for sagittarians! No that i believe in that stuff”

    Hear hear! :) As much as I hate to say this….I don’t really “believe” in astrology or zodiac sign “stuff”….BUT most of the things written about Sag traits are true (atleast in my and in my BFF’s case). :)

  405. Holly Golightly says:

    NewTXSSB
    Lets hear it for sagittarians! No that i believe in that stuff

  406. new sb in sb says:

    Kit Kat please make sure the midwest includes IN!

    NYC sb have a wonderful adult date!

    I too agre that the younger generation tends to lack life experience. I’m also surprised by the rescuers here. Its sweet that these successful business leaders have such a a soft heart for the pretty damsel in distress.I don’t think you want to
    treat the sb like an employee, but screening as if she were to become one may help.

  407. Ms Behavin~389197 says:

    GND and NYC SB you two are are emotionaly mature not calendar aged. lol. No one would think either of you inmature or any of our wonderful other SB on the blog :)

  408. NewTXSB says:

    “Holly Golightly
    NYC SB – A month and a half. Sounds like you and I might share bdays in common or thereabouts”

    Hmm….My bday is also in 1.5 months. :)

  409. Holly Golightly says:

    NYC SB – A month and a half. Sounds like you and I might share bdays in common or thereabouts

  410. CrèmeBruléeNY says:

    NYSB – Careful hat you say 😉

  411. NYC SB says:

    I cannot wait a month and a half… then I will be out of the under 25 range and automatically be considered mature :p

  412. gurlnextdoor says:

    Hmm, as to the age thing I think it all depends not on your calendar age but your emotional age. Some people are in their 30s and act like they are still teenagers, while you have some people who are in their early 20s and have a good head on their shoulders (I think I’m in that group). So I think it is more like choosing the right individuals who have their life together as opposed to choosing someone by age. I for one don’t see my SD as being a paycheck because I can pay all my bills, etc. but having that little extra boost of income to pay off my student debt quicker would be nice. :)

  413. NewTXSB says:

    “Ms Behavin~389197 says:
    I have just always prefered older men,and money = power. I think we all agree power is sexy. Ladies?? you thoughts”

    Oh gawd I totally agree! Power is VERY sexy…..I’m getting a bit turned on just thinking about this!

    • OCSugarbaby says:

      Oh Kit-Kat! I could never be angry with you. Ev-a! 😉

      SincereSD.. a txt message break up is bad. But my nieces showed me how to create the “finger-flip” in txt format! I will have to email it to you. I have never had to use it but I sure am glad I know how! :)

      I am gonna once again defend the under-dog! I have met several (more than 10) 19 to 23 year olds from the blog. Ok, not met but mentored and emailed with them. They were mature and very sweet. Age has little to do with maturity levels. I know some very child-ish 40 year old men and women!
      Take into account the state of the economy. Some SB’s may have been layed off and do not have a steady income right now. They come to SA to find an arrangement that works for both involved. So not having a “paycheck” or full time career should not determine an SB’s worth or sincerity. I am so thankful every day that I have survived my companies “5” layoff’s. But that could be me if things in the economy do not improve!

      NYC SB! Wear your ugliest panties/bra… If you don’t want them to be seen, odds are that they will!!!

  414. I will cross my fingers for you NYGent. I wish you good luck on your next SB hopefully the two of you will ‘click’

  415. NewTXSB says:

    NYGent:

    Firstly, I agree w/ Ms. Behavin that you deserve better than “lukewarm”. :)

    And yes, SBs of all ages have a financial need. But IMO someone who’s slowly paying off debt vs. someone who needs to pay next month’s rent is totally different. The SB in the 2nd situation is more likely to be with you even if she feels no real chemistry. And at the end of the day, someone who’s late 20’s + will also handle the entire situation better IMO….and with a SB who let’s say is 28, a SD who’s 45 won’t remind her of her dad. :) *** Disclaimer: Yes, there are definately exceptions to this and there are 18-23 year old who are capable of being mature….but its rare.

    I look forward to hearing how things go w/ the new pot. :)

  416. Ms Behavin~389197 says:

    Glad I fall into the enhanced lifestyle… Desperation is never sexy.I have just always prefered older men,and money = power. I think we all agree power is sexy. Ladies?? you thoughts

  417. NYGent says:

    NewTXSB: agree that most 18-23’s don’t have same maturity level of 26+, although I think you can find 26+ SBs who are every bit as desperate for $$ as a college student, esp. if they’ve run up credit card bills over a longer time period, have kids, etc. It’s maybe a different form of “desperation.” And while ideally a SB should be looking to a SD for an enhanced lifestyle as opposed to just staying out of the poor house, the reality is that (esp in this economy), SBs of all ages really need $$ and soon

    btw my next pot is 27, so i guess that’s a bump up the ladder . . .

  418. Ms Behavin~389197 says:

    Getting ready for a sugar date( if I get off this blog lol) Third one with this SD.

  419. gurlnextdoor says:

    Hey everyone, still catching up on the blog after getting home from work finally. Hope everyone is having a good day.

    Tiramisu – I’m in the small city of High Point, about 2 hours from Charlotte. Where are you?

  420. Ms Behavin~389197 says:

    NYGent ~~ to have gone ice cold on the whole SD/SB idea, as compared with a lukewarm attitude before that.

    Baby you deserve better than lukewarm :)

  421. NewTXSB says:

    “Lady_8 397899 says:
    So as usual the guys are wanting it all. The Class, Maturity, Confidence, ease in their own skin, and under 23, and instead of trying to fill in most of the blanks they only steer for the under 23 and just try to mold the girl into the rest of the categories.”

    Agree. Perhaps the men should try finding a SB who’s already been out of college for a while (25+) and has a source if steady income already so she’s not desperate for someone to pay her rent next month. And then tell me how “crazy/drama queenish/ATM type etc” she was.

    Although there are exceptions…the reality is that most 18-22/23 year old girls will not have the maturity of a woman who’s 26+ simply b/c of where they are in their life.

    I’m always surprised to read stories of SDs who choose SBs that have no source if income of their own, and then are surprised or dissappointed that these SBs turn out to be the ATM type. Well duh….you’re their only source of a “paycheck”.

  422. NYGent says:

    ms behavin: you do have a point, but I’m not sure it’s totally an age thing. I think I caught flak (and rightly so) from some of the 25 and under SBs on this blog when I made some disparaging overgeneralization about younger SBs. Some of them seem to have their heads screwed on pretty well, I think a lot of it is individual maturity, experience, even upbringing. The final kiss of death in my recent situation was when SB went home to her parents for the weekend, including a dad who’s probably my age, which undoubtedly started her guilt tripping. upon her return she seemed to have gone ice cold on the whole SD/SB idea, as compared with a lukewarm attitude before that.

  423. NewTXSB says:
    October 21, 2009 at 5:32 pm

    hear;here LOL

    But we are a tad biased.
    And it is the rare exception that the ones hugging 21 i.e. the 18-23 are mature. As that age group hasn’t finished maturing yet. Unless there was something that happened that ‘opened’ up their eyes.

    So as usual the guys are wanting it all. The Class, Maturity, Confidence, ease in their own skin, and under 23, and instead of trying to fill in most of the blanks they only steer for the under 23 and just try to mold the girl into the rest of the categories.

  424. NewTXSB says:

    “Lady_8 397899 says:
    It is entirely up two you as to what you will be doing. However you guys do need to toughen yourselves up a tad and stop allowing yourselves to be used in such a matter.”

    I totally agree. :)

  425. NewTXSB says:

    Sorry for the typos above.

  426. NewTXSB says:

    “Ms Behavin~389197 says:
    Probly gonna get yelled at for this one….but maybe some of the SD here should move there age preference up a tad. As a SB a bit older (and some of the others here are too)—no disrespect to my fellow sisters on here of the younger age group, they seem to have it all together–but we dont seem to have some of the drama problems,and we seem to enjoy the bedroom activities.But thats just me I may be speaking out of turn…but we all get a voice on here.”

    I kinda tend to agree. In the short time I’ve been here, all the “drama queen/ATM type/Crazy” SB stories I have seems to involve SB’s b/t 18-23. I don’t see many “it-didn’t-go-well” stories relating to SB’s that’s 26+.

    NYC SB: Good luck on your date! :)

  427. LOL Ooo good luck NYC SB and have fun tonight. *crosses Fingers*

  428. As much as I would love to say, “Don’t forget Las Vegas”, as the two of you are gentleman and hard to find here in the deluge of fake profiles and wannabes. I would prefer to leave it up to the two in question.

    It is entirely up two you as to what you will be doing. However you guys do need to toughen yourselves up a tad and stop allowing yourselves to be used in such a matter.

    Now I am going to attempt to watch this recipe from Gaida for the third time. Gawds I wish I had my own ‘kitchen’

  429. NYC SB says:

    BLAH! tonight… i am meeting him tonight… im loosing my marbles over here

  430. Ms Behavin~389197 says:

    Probly gonna get yelled at for this one….but maybe some of the SD here should move there age preference up a tad. As a SB a bit older (and some of the others here are too)—no disrespect to my fellow sisters on here of the younger age group, they seem to have it all together–but we dont seem to have some of the drama problems,and we seem to enjoy the bedroom activities.But thats just me I may be speaking out of turn…but we all get a voice on here.

  431. NYC SB says:

    I have a meeting with my SD tomorrow… hopefully we can get past the NSA stage (no sex allowed) of our relationship and have some adult fun – I am NYGent in reverse 😀

  432. Ms Behavin~389197 says:

    Dont leave me at I’m in Lower Alabama.

  433. CrèmeBruléeNY says:
    October 21, 2009 at 4:50 pm
    SincereSD – You’re fired

    awhhhh not the Donald Trump treat ment!!!!!! awhhhhh dammmmmm lol

  434. CrèmeBruléeNY says:

    SincereSD – You’re fired!

  435. ok Sinsere I made you a scedule lol I think we will move you South ward You will have 2 weeks with VC, then Lannie then bostonsuga then Nyc then Gemi then Rita*shes in Va*NeOhio Atl Nic then youll come to fla Thats Sweetred Me and Photo then youll do the Miami circut! then Off to Texas’s Sb’s and to Cali! then the mid west on your way back home
    mind you we are just here to show you how Real mentally stable women function! No Sex Allowed or Nsa its up to you!!

    NyGent same for you!! hon! lol
    I think you need a panel of SB,s screening your pot sb’s
    if by then you havent Come outta that Kevlar suit you like to tote around! we are gonna Operate!

    you guys pack your bags make sure you have plenty of Purses and CL Shoes redialy asseciable

    That is a possiable scedule I do not know where All of my Sb’s are Geographically located!

  436. SincereSd…You’ll find grace, mercy and understanding here :-)

    Still waiting for ‘My Knight’

  437. Sincere yep We are gonna Ration you off!
    why yall (SD’s) let the SB’s Run your nerves in to the Ground?
    this messes it up for the ones who come after!
    pick someone who is Into you… not Standing in front of the mirrror. reciting I am the Fairest of them all!
    I think you Sd are too dog gone Soft* TLG and NcGent Excluded*
    I dont mean to say go around being Mean but If your Shes not in to you Sensor goes off, let them go on their way!…. I feel like The Next time they come across a Real Sd they might Snap to, take a stance that your looks and Sexual Prowes does Not Really move your Forward in an arrangement !
    Snooty arrogant Pushy aggressive overbearing to me is VERY ugly and I wouldnt deal with that a Second!
    you guys arent like that at all why subject yourselves to that?

  438. Gemini29 says:

    Anna Molly – A poofer. Hmmm. Set the date, see if he shows up, and take it from there…with the grain of salt that he might be a poof daddy and his thing is just talking to girls, stringing them along, but never actually willing to follow through and show up (or fall in with his part of the deal). I’ve had a few of these, and just…I have to let them fall by the waysides… it sucks, but I want a SD who is actually willing to MEET me, not just talk of meeting me.

  439. SincereSD says:

    Gemini29 says: SincereSD – Wait. What? Men. I just. What. Argh. Confusing creatures. 😉 I mean… Wouldn’t it be more of an ego thing if you were with a girl and sparks flew all the time? I mean, I’m not dissing your SB, but…if my SD were to describe his time with me as lackluster, then I would know the end were near, so to speak. You shouldn’t be starting OUT lackluster…

    Funny, I have the same comment about woman … I will never understand them!

    Yes, I think the end is near but I want to gave her one more opportunity because we have invested so much time together. And I have this stupid White knight aspiration … she needs the help to get back into a professional degree and pay down some debt. She’s never had that break in life that I was fortunate to get … no SM for me though 😛

    Funny because in professional life, I have no problems firing a marginal or non-performing employee. Put a pouty or weepy eyed women in front of me and I lose all conviction.

  440. Anna Molly says:

    I just received an email from a pot that I haven’t talked to in a while. He says he has missed talking to me and misses me. Wants to meet me next week, but I’m not sure. He just disappeared one day and now he is back, its a miracle! Not to mention he is a major troller on another site. What should I do? Should I meet him?

  441. NYGent says:

    SincereSD:

    I think there are a few SBs — very small percentage — who truly believe that there are SDs out there that will pay 5-10K a month just for the privilege of hanging out with them. It doesn’t even occur to them that this isn’t a sufficient “mutual” benefit for $$. They tend to be the much younger, super-beautiful girls, often models who are used to being worshipped for their beauty alone. It is a combination of naiveness and/or being too high on themselves. As I say, I think they’re pretty rare, but unfortunately you and I seem to have run into a couple of them and we might well profit from some of the comments (mostly from SBs) to “toughen up.”

  442. SincereSD says:

    Flo Rida says: SincereSD – SD told me a story of a Miss USA he slept with who ‘just laid there’ methinks this is Red Scouser’s earlier question on skills (or just not being into it). I don’t think I could ever be intimate with someone I wasn’t ‘into’.

    Sounds like a scene out of a matrimonial bedroom :rolleyes: For the record and hope it’s not too much info, she enjoyed herself.

    Funny how the chemistry changed over a matter of weeks … the passion of teasing on our “no sex allowed” trip was very strong.

  443. Gemini29 says:

    SincereSD – Wait. What? Men. I just. What. Argh. Confusing creatures. 😉 I mean… Wouldn’t it be more of an ego thing if you were with a girl and sparks flew all the time? I mean, I’m not dissing your SB, but…if my SD were to describe his time with me as lackluster, then I would know the end were near, so to speak. You shouldn’t be starting OUT lackluster…

  444. DeeSweetOne from WI says:

    I am new to the site and sugarland. I tried it once a few years ago but only had one date with a pot SD and the site started going down hill.

    I don’t know where to start ….. hmmmm

    As for Health Ins. I think that agree with most the answers that with the allowance you should be able to pay for it on your own. And if he feels he wants to help in an emergency thats something between the SD and SB.

    for the work out partner i would love one. just like i would love a gym membership…hehehe….

    As for a sugarhero…haven’t had one yet … but looking forward to the future :)

  445. SincereSD says:

    Gemini29 says: SincereSD – If I may ask, if it isn’t too bold…. if its a lackluster experience and there are no sparks… then WHY are you still with her? Isn’t sugar dating supposed to be…full of luster and spark-filled?

    I think it’s an ego thing. I want to make sure it wasn’t something I did or she was feeling stressed. The really sad part is that I turned down several passionate opportunities from pot SB during the dating process.

  446. Flo Rida says:

    NYGent – though I think your behavior & email are exemplary I also believe that a quality taken to excess is a fault – or at the very least exposes you to inexperienced or unscrupulous SBs. Though I don’t want you to x over to the dark side of the force I really must urge you to be a tiny bit more selfish to protect yourself.

    I agree in NYC SB finding you an ‘appropriate’ SB or you being a tiny bit more assertive or judicious in your screening.

    SincereSD – SD told me a story of a Miss USA he slept with who ‘just laid there’ methinks this is Red Scouser’s earlier question on skills (or just not being into it). I don’t think I could ever be intimate with someone I wasn’t ‘into’.

    K-K – Shark Tank is based on a UK BBC TV program with the same format. NYC SB is right (as always) and these are generally angel (individual) investors particpating in A round investments. Venture capitalists generally have a GP LP partnership model (I think) and participate in A B or C round investments in high growth companies.

    ciao peeps.

  447. SincereSD says:

    OCSugarbaby says: NYGent I think you worded the email nicely, but I am not fond of anyone being dumped via Email. Yikes!

    How about being dumped by text? Happened to me several years ago with a psychotic SB. Do you know how annoying it is to have a breakup/fight in 160 character text chunks? My thumbs still haven’t recovered from that day.

    And in the strange but true category, I have run into this former Sb twice in the previous year … once through a email several years after the fact apologizing for her irrational behavior (and asking for a token amount of help due to her medical situation). And the other through a pot SB … turns out we were dating the same person at different times!

  448. CrèmeBruléeNY says:

    Gemini – You spoke for me too 😉

  449. Gemini29 says:

    SincereSD – If I may ask, if it isn’t too bold…. if its a lackluster experience and there are no sparks… then WHY are you still with her? Isn’t sugar dating supposed to be…full of luster and spark-filled?

  450. SincereSD says:

    Kit-Kat*367987* says: I think I am gonna Keep Texas SD for myself! and we may have to Ration or Auction Sincere, ya know he has a unicorn!!
    AtlNicole says: We will have to keep a close eye on Sincere. He may try to use that unicorn to make a getaway. Although I am not sure why any SD would want to get away from us.

    Thanks KK and Nicole … if i could only find a normal SB like one of you here in my area, I would be a very happy SD. Chemistry, friendship, common interest and respect are a must.

    Btw Nicole, I know of a former SB blog north of you close to the university if you are looking for a sister SB to go trolling for SD’s with.

  451. SincereSD says:

    NYGent says: here’s the response to my “Let’s end it” message (from the previous blog). Nothing I hadn’t sensed already. As noted she’s very young, probably her first SD arrangement, and I think she was proceeding mostly in good faith, although I do think she was “not feeling right about the situation” well before she accepted 3 more dates and 3K more $$:

    NYGent, sorry to hear about your last SB experience. At least, you figured it out and didn’t waste anymore time or funds.

    I have a similar experience with my current SB, referred to in a previously posted “No sex allowed” blog that everyone found so humorous. I’m almost 2 months into the relationship having picked a very young SB out of a group of 10 potentials. The relationship is fine with the exception of intimacy. We were almost 6 weeks before consumating the act. I must say I have never had a more lackluster experience in my life … no sparks at all … and I now know what women mean why they complain about someone making like like a guy. I’ll give her more time but I think it’s in her nature … too high on herself to care about others.

  452. thanks Ms Be lol !! I just Really wonder what the Scammers say/think when they know the scam isnt going to work!

  453. Ms Behavin~389197 says:

    I tell him Its Drama and if he Spoke english he would know that! lol
    thatn he says I am after his money, I tell him he really cant have that much Becuase he cannot Buy a Vowel!
    OKG I bout PIMP laughing so hard. KitKat you are soo funny.

  454. NewTXSB says:

    Margo: Congrats!

    “gurlnextdoor says:
    Palm – He wants what lots of men on here like to refer to as “pay for play” which to me just says “I want a personal prostitute/escort”. I’d tell him that I want a monthly allowance and that if he’s not comfortable giving me the whole amount right now, how about half of it? I’d also explain to him that giving an allowance every time you meet is very similar to a John paying a prostitute or escort for her services every time they get together and that you’re not that kind of woman. That’s just me.”

    I totally agree… Receiving money after every single meet is no different than what a escort does. :)

  455. Oc hope you arent Mad with me! and yes her attitude is hers, Cant fake Chemistry!

  456. Thanks Ladies I am a hamm as it is and when somebody messes with me I get in Sass artist mode.
    he told me How dare I call him Liar , and that he wouldn’t lie for me!

    My response was Umm really how about TO me.
    so then I aske him off the Wall Questions
    I asked if he had lots of Booty ! I asked did he like booty.. (Booty as in Pirates)
    so I told him he would need to send me a pair of his Jeans so I could See his booty size… lol I bet once he and his co-horts get together to Review/hone his Scam-game! they might Laugh at my antics.

    oh I told him I needed a ba donk a donk too! I bet he thought I wanted a Donkey!!

  457. Anna Molly says:

    Post-it note? What are these guys thinking?

    I think all the wonderful SD’s on here should give lessons on how to be a real man :)

    • OCSugarbaby says:

      Cold or not her behavior is hers and hers alone. I would expect much much more from NYGent. I think he knows what I meant by my comment. Others may not. But my comment was to NYGent…
      hahahah ok, I am now going to bow out. Not gonna join the fabulous parade!

  458. TLG well I cannot Say for sure on the only Virgins can approach them… ya know long as I have a few apples and a Salt block he *unicorn is fine*
    Tlg yes
    Atlnic actually told me this the Last time he*Sinsere* pulled out his Unicorn!! lol
    Atlnic if we can get some Canadian maple syurp from VC in the Mail we could put it on the Wings.. see no lift!! lol

    NyGent I had no doubt that she would be fine.. after all She had no risk in the whole thing… well Very low risk I should say!
    glad it worked out for you!

    OC I must dissagree with you on the e-mail reject button!
    She wasn’t feeling Nygent long ago and SHE should have said something or gave his money back, Or at least not acted like a Block of Ice.
    I do not think it nice for a Woman to take a mans kindness for Weakness, he was Nice to EVEN Contact her at all!

    LOL I tend to Block and remove I am Known to change my phone number all together!

  459. tiramisu says:

    Question about profiles: Does the date for “profile created” change when you update your profile? I updated mine but the date is stuck on the date i signed up …

    Gurlnextdoor: Where are you in NC? I’m here as well; we should swap stories via email.

    NYGent: Any SB would be lucky to have you as their SD. Good riddance, you really are a gent. I wish I were in NYC now lol

  460. Anna Molly says:

    NYGent – I thought your email was exquisite :); you are most certainly a gentleman.

  461. KitKat, I am so in love with your sassy wit.

    Hehe.. you are awesome.

  462. Gemini29 says:

    Anna Molly – oh dear, that Is pretty bad. I think Carrie’s post-it note breakup from SATC still takes the cake though!

  463. Anna Molly says:

    I had a boyfried once who made his friend dump me by phone! That was the worst; I still get mad over that…..lol.

  464. Beach_Girl*395953 says:

    NYGent~ It was inevitable, I guess things weren’t meant to be. I’m sure you will find someone soon!
    Did you finally get to see a SB profile by #??

  465. NYGent says:

    Beachgirl, yes I figured it out

  466. Beach_Girl*395953 says:

    Kit Kat~ that is funny!

  467. NYGent says:

    OC: I did it by email for precisely the reasons cakepatty identified. I knew she wanted out and her being very shy and a bit awkward about things gennerally, and our situation specifically, I had a feeling (which was proved correct in my view) that she actually preferred email to a face to face or phone convo. In other words I wasn’t “dumping” her but effectively acknowleding her dumping of me, although preemptively. If I were dumping somebody who I knew cared about me and wanted to continue the relationship I certainly would not do by email.

    • OCSugarbaby says:

      NY Gent…yes, but if she did not want to have the convo she would have let the call go to voicemail. Like I said, it is just my opinion. Endings suck all the way around no matter how it happens.

  468. NeOhio SB says:

    ROFLMAO……..Kit Kat……..you rock girl!!! That was awesome……

  469. Gemini29 says:

    Kit-Kat – LOL! I don’t want no drummer with you! Bwhahaha. Hey, you’re good, you at least keyed onto what he was talking about. I would have still been lost in “beat? drum? tempo? ummm…???” trying to figure it out.

  470. hey yall Vc, OC, Gemi, Texas, photo,NYC,Atl Nic, Margo,Mina, lisa.
    and all the Lurkers! and the SD too howdy!

    I had a funny im argument today, must be my time to argue with folks this week!
    I do not mind people that do not speak english as a first english but dont lie….. OK heres the Clue “I dont want no Drummer with you!”

    I tell him Its Drama and if he Spoke english he would know that! lol
    thatn he says I am after his money, I tell him he really cant have that much Becuase he cannot Buy a Vowel!
    I know I mis type in here but wow this guy’s Grammar was so off. it wasnt even unnoticable!

  471. cakepatty says:

    OC-

    I agree somewhat, however it sounds like the SB was not into the relationship anyway. If it were me and I were her I would prefer being dumped via e-mail as in I just didn’t care enough and e-mail makes it easier then a phone call or in person meeting.

    I think she responded so eloquently because she was expecting it and was a bit relieved.

    If I were really into the guy then of course, I would be insulted and really hurt. She sounds like she is just fine.

    • OCSugarbaby says:

      My comment to NYGent was not to defend the SB’s behavior but to share my opinion (for the 2 cents it is worth). It does not matter that she was not into the relationship, it is the action of the SD who is genuine and amazingly generous to his potentials that was commented on.
      I would always want to walk away from a situation knowing that I did my best and if it fell short due to chemistry or other outside influences, my behavior would remembered in the most positive light. It doesn’t always happen! But At least I try!
      NYGent you knew when you wrote that post that not all would find the email method to be their ending of choice. I do agree with the others you are a very sweet SD. ~OC

  472. Gemini29 says:

    Morning sugars! I’m getting my healthy dose of sexy by checking out the new offers at VS! I really think they plucked this years holiday offers from my dreams and wishes! :) Sparkle and shine, naughty and nice, and an apple a day keeps the doctor away!

  473. Beach_Girl*395953 says:

    Bonjour VC

    I am Back to being Beach_Girl …. AKA Sweety

  474. VillaCypris *396153* says:

    YA! I can just see the guy on the other end of the phone… looking at it like WTF is going on???? HAHAHAAH!

    • OCSugarbaby says:

      NYGent I think you worded the email nicely, but I am not fond of anyone being dumped via Email. Yikes!
      However unpleasant it may be; it would have been nice to at least make it a phone conversation. Ending things via txt or email is not a proper ending or closure for a woman. I would hate for it to become the norm for a gentleman to break things off this way. You have stood above the norm on all of your SD actions, but on this one I am afraid you stumbled on the path. Just because she did not fulfil her end of the arrangement, she will now have the unhappy ending of “he dumped me via email”…

  475. NewTXSB says:

    Villa:

    Thanks! LOL….and Kit Kat’s comment about her kids not dating…….that was awesome too! :)

  476. VillaCypris *396153* says:

    NewTXSB says:
    October 21, 2009 at 1:19 pm

    BTW, to the SB who had the potential SD ask her for gas money….LOL….that is priceless!!!! I’m still laughing just imagining that scenario! :)

    ———

    It was Kit-Kat. I’m still laughing as well…. a hilarious image! She is priceless :)

  477. NewTXSB says:

    BTW, to the SB who had the potential SD ask her for gas money….LOL….that is priceless!!!! I’m still laughing just imagining that scenario! :)

  478. VillaCypris *396153* says:

    salut BG – was just reading about the benefits of dry sauna, and as my parents have one at their house… might as well! :)

  479. NewTXSB says:

    NYGent: Good luck with you potential SB on Friday! You handled the previous situation like a true gentleman. :)

    ****Has a sugar helped you in a special/unique way? Do you have a sugar hero?

    Well, my current SD is my 1st SD ever but already he has helped me out with “extras” just to reduce stress in my life.

    ****Should Health Care be part of a sugar daddy/sugar baby arrangement? Why or why not?

    LOL..heck no! My SD isn’t my “employer”! What’s next? 401k? Sick days? Vacation days? If a SB doesn’t have a job that provides her with health insurance….there is no reason why she can’t get her own insurance using her allowance. Now if she has debt from medical bills or other major medical expenses come up that the SD *offers* to pay for, that’s fine. But personally, I don’t expect or demand any “extras”. Anything beyond my allowance is a bonus to me that my SD gives voluntarily…not extras that I expect just b/c I can’t manage/budget my allowance.

  480. Beach_Girl*395953 says:

    Hello sugars!

    VC~ take some for me too! I think I need to take a walk,,,, This fever ahhh!

  481. VillaCypris *396153* says:

    NeOhio – buon giorno!!

    Sorry to hear you are ill… coincidentally, I am as well…. burning up with fever… going to take a 220F sauna this afternoon, and hoping that will burn out the toxins! :)

    I was hoping I hadn’t heard from you because you were having a great time in SoFLA! :(

    will watch for your email…. get better soon!!! xox

  482. James says:

    NYGent, handled like a gentleman indeed. Good luck on your fresh start!

    On the topic of health, I wouldn’t pay for someone’s health insurance directly for a number of reasons. But I have encouraged my SB’s to get coverage (for example, through the Freelancers Union if they’re self-employed), have considered that essential cost of living in setting an appropriate amount, and have increased the allowance when premiums increased. I have also paid for special situations, like dental emergencies, which are typically not covered by insurance. Nothing is more important than good health, and if you care about someone, you’re going to want to make sure they are well covered.

    Exercise is a great healthy aphrodisiac and a lot of fun too. I had one SB that I used to play squash with regularly. Turned out she was a maniac for it, something about the three dimensional random motion of the game really excited her — which excited me to watch!

    Cheers to all.

  483. JetSet says:

    NYGent- I apologize for the confusion. You guys may have to arm wrestle over who gets the “Gent” in their name!

    XO

  484. On the positive, it sounds like she was doing her best to make the arrangement work.

    I hope you better luck with your next pot.

  485. NeOhio SB says:

    VC:
    Buon giorno….Have been having problems with my Y account and can’t seem to get into my mail, so I apologize for not getting back to you, however, Im going to email you from my personal account, rather than posting it here. Worse problem, is i am NOT in miami and PB w/ SD…came down with a horrific case of conjunctivitis on Sunday unf. he is there on business, but i couldn’t go…so sad. Hoping these antibiotics will kick in as I am miserable.

    New SB in SB:
    Unf…sad but true VC is correct. Good and bad if any consolation…i have found out by fact, men don’t always state the correct income, due to being inundated with responses if it is very high, so the filtration process is there. Also, many have investments or other sources they use as disposable ( play) money rather than merely there net income. Sad part is, some DO NOT read the expectation $$ you have listed, therefore if it is not mentioned in conversation or emails, they are clueless.

    Have a wonderful Sugar Day to all………

  486. mm Coffee, it is actually cold here, lol 65 and it is def. a coffee day.

    I am thinking that I am living in the worst area seems everyone in Vegas just wants p4p and isn’t prepared for a Real sd/sb nsa arrangement.

    Even though there are escorts aplenty and a brothel the next city over.

    And good luck with your pot.

    LOL we are a chatty group aren’t we. 😉

  487. NYGent says:

    JetSet and others: I do think we have to clear up this NC Gent vs. NYGent confusion. NC Gent is the one with the Walmart girl (and I know others have confused my trials and tribulations with his)

  488. NYGent says:

    here’s the response to my “Let’s end it” message (from the previous blog). Nothing I hadn’t sensed already. As noted she’s very young, probably her first SD arrangement, and I think she was proceeding mostly in good faith, although I do think she was “not feeling right about the situation” well before she accepted 3 more dates and 3K more $$:

    “Hi,

    I’m sorry things didn’t work out between us. You are a great guy and I really enjoyed our dates, but you’re right, something was missing between us. I just wasn’t feeling right about the situation.
    Thank you so much for everything, I really appreciate it. And thank you for being understanding and not forcing something that wasn’t natural.

    Good luck!”

  489. JetSet says:

    Morning Sweets!

    I swear i check this at least once a day and i feel like i’m always so behind on all the happenings in your crazy sugar lives!

    NYGent still dealing with the crazed Wal Mart girl?

    Buurrrr… Not all too much here.. Busy deleting my inbox of creepers.. Fun fun fun!!! Sounds like i may be on the wrong side of the map lately for something real.

    Meeting with my pot tomorrow.. Was excited till i had a disturbing dream last night.. hate how dreams can stick with you like that!

    Coffee Time!

    XO

  490. VillaCypris: You’re welcome! Perhaps you could look for work in a warmer locale, then you don’t have to buy “winter clothes”!

    GREAT IDEA!! Any suggestions… I’m thinking Cozumel 😉 lol

    Thank you Lady8 and NewSb!! Most appreciated.

    Kimberly

  491. RealisticSD says:

    NewSB in SB, obviously he changed his mind, but I don’t blame him as once you put that credit card down on a room, there is no end to what one can charge to it.

  492. Margo says:

    Do pots talk to you about exclusivity? How do you handle that?

  493. VillaCypris *396153* says:

    “Tell him the two of you are out shopping together…on his dime!”

    hahahahahaha…. !!!!!!!!!!

    My experience…. everyone on here lies, about something…. whether it’s income/net worth, age, height, location, expectations…. sad, but true!

  494. TLG – You may the only man I *know* who knows only a virgin can approach a unicorn :-0

    VillaCypris *396153* says:
    I just got a message –

    “let’s meet
    my wife is out of town
    $$ ”

    No, thank you.

    Tell him the two of you are out shopping together…on his dime!

    KimberlyOklahoma id=396235
    Update: Need positive vibes sent my way.. on the job hunt now, as my Employer decided to CLOSE the doors to this location.

    Best wishes Kimberly…on all fronts!

    Hello Sugars! I’m only on for a quick visit during lunch…this blog is addicting!

    I have someone e-mailing me with rather sweet poetry…I kinda like it :-)

    Question: A pot SD who I’ve been e-mailing and had the occassional conversation with offered up a hotel room while I have someone visiting me in town. Then he couldn’t do it b/c they needed his card to use to redeem his points. Should I be suspect? It was a sweet offer as we have not met and I can see he would want to be cautious to make sure I don’t run up a huge hotel bill. Could he be a fake? Our fist date will be the first week of Nov.

    Also, I’m getting by contacted by guys who don’t show much for income/net worth, but they do know I have $1K to 3K in my allowance requirements. Are they being honest about expectations? Are they fudging income/ net worth? What has been your experience?

    Thanks all!

    *~*~*~*~*~*sugardust*~*~*~*~*~*~

  495. Keep your head up Kimberly. Job hunting is a full time job in itself.

    Think positive = receive positive

  496. VillaCypris *396153* says:

    You’re welcome! Perhaps you could look for work in a warmer locale, then you don’t have to buy “winter clothes”! :)

  497. Thank you, thank you, Villa and Ms Behavin (love that name lol)

    I appreciate the good vibes… need them to. Winter is coming on and I so need winter clothes… arggh, I don’t like to shop!

    Or some place warm for the winter!!! Would go in a heart beat. :)

    Kimberly

  498. Ms Behavin~389197 says:

    Good vibes Kimberly good vibes comming your way!!!

  499. VillaCypris *396153* says:

    Gm Kimberly – sending positive energy your way!!! Good luck on the job search!

  500. VillaCypris *396153* says:

    it was a difficult moral decision…. with which i wrestled for several minutes….. HAAHHAHAHAH!!!

    riiiiiiiiiiiiight…. 😀

  501. I would so love a Gym Partner, that would be an awesome benefit!! As for health care.. I would certainly try to get this for myself.. it can be expensive if you are getting it outside of a job. .. I think that IF the SD felt strongly about it and just wanted to help out of genuine concern… it would be His and Her call…

    I personally wouldn’t ask for it. Infact I wouldn’t ask for anything. My SD would know my needs because I communicate them, but what He feels comfy with doing for me, would be on Him, the rest I would take care of…

    Update: Need positive vibes sent my way.. on the job hunt now, as my Employer decided to CLOSE the doors to this location.

    Hello To Everyone!!
    ***SugahDust*** To All!!

    Kimberly

  502. Ms Behavin~389197 says:

    Awwww VC got yourself a sweet talker then How could you say no? LOL

  503. VillaCypris *396153* says:

    Good morning –

    Mango Tango – i agree with cakepatty. Someone who is fixated on sex before we even meet is a huge turn off to me.

    I just got a message –

    “let’s meet
    my wife is out of town
    $$ ”

    No, thank you.

  504. cakepatty says:

    Mango Tango:

    I just let a pot SD go for that very reason. He kept asking me for pictures of myself in a bikini and tried to steer the conversation towards sex all the time and we haven’t met yet..

    This is not MY idea of how an SD/SB relationship should proceed because it made me very uncomfortable and if it makes you uncomfortable** and it must because you brought it up here** I would let the guy go. It’s one thing to start talking about sex after you have met if there is chemistry and an arrangement in place and another to keep bringing it up before you even meet. Sounds like he wants a personal escort.

  505. Once the ladies get on they will be able to answer that better then I as I have not had an official SD/SB as of yet.

    The key is are you comfortable with such talk. This is about a mutually beneficially arrangement. Not about P4P.

    If anyone tries to pull that with me, I will let him know that, that behavior is uncalled for. As we haven’t even met, nor have had any rl chemistry yet to warrant that talk.

    For a man to speak to me in such a manner he has to earn the right.

    That is just my take on the situation. But it is really on what you feel comfortable with.

  506. Just caught up with the older blog. And my goodness KK you handled that @ss very well.

    Loved the… My babies aren’t dating yet… I nearly spit out my coffee.

    Was an excellent come back, and I think I am going to borrow that line for my 19m old.

  507. Mango Tango says:

    If a SD and a SB have been email pals for a while, should he give her a gift on their first meet?

    Also, can someone give me an idea of how much sex talk is normal from a good SD? The one I am currently talking to brings it up in almost every email, but it is not necessarily sleazy. . . more of how he wants to ravish me.

    This is my first venture into the sugar world, so I need some guidance!

  508. cakepatty says:

    Mina says:

    cakepatty –
    How did you find out about the other SBs?

    *** Mina- he told me he had one in NYC and I was okay with that, well not really but I tried my bst to be okay with it. The others I found out about because he was bragging to a few buddies of his who are also hedgies. Word eventually got back to me because one of his buddies has an SB who happens to be a friend of mine and he did not know that.

    Lesson- keep things to yourself!

  509. Good Morning Sugars. 😀 Have a great day.

    And the maybe pot. just a few things didn’t add up. As well as me having to bend over backwards to prove that I am legit while he does butkiss.

    Seems like that is a rather poor way to start what is supposed to be a mutual beneficial arrangement. Will back off and see what happens.

    I am not so desperate that I will accept anything that comes along just because I would like to be spoiled for a change.

    Happy Lurker says:
    October 21, 2009 at 3:20 am

    You go… I think that is why I get screwed often. I love buying others gifts as well. I love the look on their face.

  510. Ms Behavin~389197 says:

    Morning all

  511. The Lone Gunman says:

    Kit-Kat*367987* says:

    I think I am gonna Keep Texas SD for myself! and we may have to Ration or Auction Sincere, ya know he has a unicorn!!

    This PROVING his virginity. :)

    What? You don’t know that according to legend, only virgins can approach a unicorn?

    NYGent says:

    thanks to all for kind words of support. don’t feel sorry for me, though, already seeing a new pot SB Friday. Have to pick yourself up, dust yourself off . . .

    …and run like hell from the psycho in the straight jacket? :)

    TLG

  512. Anna Molly says:

    I’m…should be I’m..

  513. Anna Molly says:

    I supposed to meet a pot for lunch in the city next week….we’ll see how that goes :)

  514. Anna Molly says:

    Good luck NYGent! By the way, are you from the city?

  515. NYGent says:

    thanks to all for kind words of support. don’t feel sorry for me, though, already seeing a new pot SB Friday. Have to pick yourself up, dust yourself off . . .

  516. Anna Molly says:

    Good Morning all :)

  517. NYC SB says:

    Hello Sugars!

  518. Happy Lurker says:

    Good morning all from the other side of the big pond,
    Health insurance is no issue really, as in European countries there is a national health scheme.
    The question about the sugar hero is really for SBs to be answered.
    But for once I will let you in a few secrets. For some years I have sponsored two linguist students in Ukraine by sending them books and stuff as a support in their studies. One has an MA now and I want her to go on for a PhD. Unfortunately she got a boyfriend and he is against.
    The other one is in her last year and I continue to send her books and some months ago a new Nokia mobile and now a laptop. In the book I always put a 50 Euro bill as a book token, so she can choose something nice for herself. For them I am a kind of Sugar Daddy hero.
    Then there is another girl I met on SA and we are in contact by e-mail. It gives her moral support. I like her because she is a red head.
    Another one is more or less the same, also met her on SA and it gives her a boost to have a person like me in her life. Met her in August and took her out shopping. My goodness, that had never ever happened in her life ! Last weekend we met again and I took her shopping for a new winter garderobe, from a warm winter coat to boots. And yes ladies I read all your comments and followed them up, I let her buy some heels ! Should have seen her face, she was radiant !
    I am afraid that for most of you SBs I fail the test, because I am very much a gift daddy. It is better to give than to receive, is my motto.
    A gift makes the giver happy as well as the receiver !
    At the airport I bought a book: “Why men do not understand women
    never have enough shoes” ! Perhaps that will educate me further on the question: “what is on a girl’s mind”.
    Anyway to be somebody positive in another person’s life, is what makes me that Happy Lurker.

  519. Mina says:

    cakepatty –
    How did you find out about the other SBs?
    I always tell SDs that if they want one other SB/mistress I’m ok with it, however I’m not ok with being “one of many”

  520. AtlNicole says:

    i am staring to get better at picking out the canned messages, but some of them still slip past my defenses. Have not heard from my SD since he went on his trip, which is actually just like him. He doesn’t really stay in touch very well until he is ready to meet.

  521. gurlnextdoor says:

    AtlNicole – Haha I work at TJ Maxx which means I get to shop while I work. I remember last week putting out the Lindor truffles as soon as I saw them in the back because I was craving some chocolate and they are alot cheaper there than anywhere else. :)

    NYC SB no he’s not that guy (although I know who you’re talking about 😉 ), but he is new to the site. I just emailed him because 1) he was hot, 2) he said he played guitar and I’m a sucker for guitarists, and 3) he seemed really down to earth and cool. I couldn’t help myself. :)

    Ebony I try to let it flow naturally unless of course he starts pushing the sex talk and then I start wanting to talk money since this is supposed to be “mutually beneficial” (although I love some good sex too myself I must say). But I digress. I’d let it just flow naturally, first get to know one another and see if you’re compatible and let things run their course. If he asks what you want be honest and open. You don’t want a SD who doesn’t want the same things as yourself. Also I try to let the SD bring up the specifics (ex. allowance, how many times to see each other, etc.) because for some reason it just makes me feel uneasy doing that myself.

  522. cakepatty says:

    NYCsb-

    I got the same e-mail. He changed a few words but basically it was the same.

    Good words though!

  523. Ms Behavin~389197 says:

    Off to nite nite land sweet sugar dreams Y’all

  524. Taz says:

    Hmmm…sugar hero? All these wonderful SD’s and SB’s on the blog!..you all amaze me and inspire me in your own way 😀 sooo..thank you!

  525. Ms Behavin~389197 says:

    I’ll take NC he’s the closest to me lol

  526. AtlNicole says:

    We will have to keep a close eye on Sincere. He may try to use that unicorn to make a getaway. Although I am not sure why any SD would want to get away from us.

  527. I think I am gonna Keep Texas SD for myself! and we may have to Ration or Auction Sincere, ya know he has a unicorn!!

  528. Ms Behavin~389197 says:

    I put up Park Place and a get out of jail free card for them!! LOL

  529. no we doing 3 fig a Daddy!! the nice ones are more!!

  530. Where the Heck is Realistic anyway speaking of Daddys!!???

  531. Ms Behavin~389197 says:

    AtlNicole~yep TJ rocks also love Ross and Marshalls

  532. yep I had to include you you were the Get a way driver!! lol

  533. you Go girl!! Check out Hsn the have Designers some on Clearence?? I think this is what Imma do just to get started!

  534. Ms Behavin~389197 says:

    NYC SB ~ droped you a line :)

  535. AtlNicole says:

    KK – Glad I was included in the kidnapping plans. Wonder what the ransom could be. I will take all the shoes and you can have the bags! Speaking of, I just got myself two new bags at TJ Maxx. I love that store. I cannot afford to buy designer names anywhere else.

  536. palm says:

    thanks guys. i don’t worry too much about feeling escort=ish as I don’t plan to sleep with him at this stage of the arrangement. I just don’t like the idea of being physically intimate with a stranger. I would like to have the finantial expectations taken care of at the begining of each month so that we can focus on the relationship. i guess like someone here suggested we should do half upfront and the rest later.

  537. Mina says:

    Thanks, doll. Just emailed you :)

  538. Mina says:

    NYC SB –
    I’m a tad hesitant to post my email address in a public forum. Might I have yours?

  539. humm Me and Atl are gonna Kid nap all the Sugardaddys! and hold them Randsom!!* you can pay with Mnopoloy money *
    all the Good Sugardadddys anyway!

  540. Ebony says:

    Hi there gurlnextdoor…..I have a question along the same lines as Palm. I’ve never had a SD before and I dont know how I would approach an arrangment. Do you tell him this is exactly what I want or something? I’m shy.

  541. yeah Girl I know it, I dunno I wonder how to get over that wall Gracefully myself !

  542. NYC SB says:

    gurl – that hottie wouldnt be the new certified member… you know mr ablicious

    mina – im sure thats the case lol whats your email

  543. Mina says:

    NYC SB –
    Perhaps we’re both “muse” worthy 😉

    I’m curious to compare notes with you on SDs in NYC you’ve spoken to/met!

  544. gurlnextdoor says:

    I just emailed this hottie in NYC. :) Ok granted I’m nowhere near there but he was too cute and his profile was too good that I could just pass him without sending him something, lol. Plus I’m not opposed to a long distance sugar arrangement 😉

  545. Sweety~AKA BG*395953 says:

    Ok Where are TexasSD, James, And all the other SDs???
    We never see them on anymore? why?

    NYC SB~ wooo hooo

  546. NYC SB says:

    Mina – I am sure this is his handle… but it was a sweet email none the less

  547. gurlnextdoor says:

    Kit Kat that’s what I’m saying. Sounds to me like he wants a personal escort instead of a sugar baby. Or maybe he just hasn’t been fully enlightened as to what being a sugar daddy fully entails.

  548. Mina says:

    Palm –
    Maybe he’s unsure about how much time he can commit to you each month, so an allowance each month, even when he doesnt get to see him, doesnt seem fair/mutually beneficial to him

  549. NYC SB says:

    palm – why dont you tell him that the whole paying at the meeting makes you feel very transactional and you would prefer a monthly amount taken care of in advance and this way you both can focus on just having fun

  550. Mina says:

    NYC SB –
    I received a very similar email not too long ago from a guy in NY…

  551. Palm I was chewing on this allowance thing too because I wonder about this concept of being the First arrangement!
    try to tell them that it feels Escortish… your smart you know that!
    now I was wondering about this
    I am no leagal egal but IF you and he were intimate Each time you met it could be construed into something Else… and Lets say there is a bust in the works!
    heck I dunno can you say get half upfront and then a portion every time? I dunno What does he say the issue is?

  552. gurlnextdoor says:

    NYC SB that was a good email. :)

    Welcome back Ebony! How ya doing?

  553. Ms Behavin~389197 says:

    WOOOO

  554. Mina says:

    Ugh, it’s way too early for me and I cant sleep lol

    Has a sugar helped you in a special/unique way? Do you have a sugar hero?
    Not particularly. I’ve never been in a “desperate” situation just had my lifestyle upgraded a tad.

    Should Health Care be part of a sugar daddy/sugar baby arrangement? Why or why not?
    No, because that makes it seem more like a business arrangement/job!

  555. Sweety~AKA BG*395953 says:

    NYC SB~ blown away in a good way??? I hope so girl!!! WOOO 😀

  556. NYC SB says:

    he writes
    You are adorable and I love the way you express yourself.I am on the road way too much to be enjoying the benefits of the relationship I want. I would love the right muse to make my fast paced world slow down for a personal vacation every now and again. Let’s meet to see how we are when I get back to town.

  557. Ms Behavin~389197 says:

    NYC SB~~ tell girl… tell

  558. Ebony says:

    Hey sugarworld! I haven’t been on here in a couple of months! Still looking for a Sd and Margo congrats gal!

  559. NYC SB says:

    wow – i just got blown away by a first email…

  560. gurlnextdoor says:

    NYC SB what did it say?!?!?

  561. gurlnextdoor says:

    Palm – He wants what lots of men on here like to refer to as “pay for play” which to me just says “I want a personal prostitute/escort”. I’d tell him that I want a monthly allowance and that if he’s not comfortable giving me the whole amount right now, how about half of it? I’d also explain to him that giving an allowance every time you meet is very similar to a John paying a prostitute or escort for her services every time they get together and that you’re not that kind of woman. That’s just me.

  562. NYC SB says:

    Ms Behaving – my thoughts exactly

  563. palm says:

    hi sugar fam, its been a while since I posted. so, I have this pot married sd who i met through SA, the issue is this type of arrangement is new to him so there is a few things he needs to figure out .I have had a couple of SD in the past but both were met IRL .the first one introduced me t the lifestyle and the seconde one understood the concept, so things were easy.with this one how can I get him to understand that it’s better that the allowance be set for the month and not for each time we meet.I understand some sd may not be comfortable with giving the whole amount to a new sb before a certain level of trust is established but I would just like to bring this up without sounding like I’m more interested it the money than a relationship.

  564. Margo says:

    thank you, girls! :)
    What I’ve learned that the most important is to build trust.

  565. Anna hes a big boy! why feel bad for him? I guess he is freel to console though on Second thought!.

  566. Sweety~AKA BG*395953 says:

    Anna Molly ~ we all need good SDs girl!

  567. Ms Behavin~389197 says:

    we all want NyGent and NC and James And all the other good ones….they make the others online look sooo bad.

  568. Anna Molly says:

    I feel bad for him :(

  569. Anna Molly says:

    I want NYGent to be my SD…. :)

  570. Anna Molly says:

    Congrats Margo! WOOHOO!

  571. gurlnextdoor says:

    Congrats Margo! :)

  572. NYC SB says:

    kit kat – never seen it but it looks that way… they also could be angel investors

  573. Sweety~AKA BG*395953 says:

    Margo Congrats girl!!!

  574. Ms Behavin~389197 says:

    GO MARGO!!!!

  575. NYC SB says:

    Margo – congrats… now the real work starts 😉

  576. NYC or anybody who Knows exactly.. The show Shark tank are those guys Venture Capilitast?

  577. Margo says:

    Dear Sugars,
    I was offered my first arrangement today. Thank you for support, you are the best!

  578. NYC SB says:

    idk – he emailed me once… just wasnt my thing but to each its own right?

  579. Thanks Nyc I dunno send me his profile# wonder if he likes brown sugar hehehehehe,

  580. Sweety~AKA BG*395953 says:

    Kit Kat~ I just got a mail from him… lol I will send you his info on MSN

  581. and about the Work out buddy! I been wanting one of them for ages!
    A SD to get all Sexxy for yahhhh baby
    And a Sb-gal pal to bang on your door when you dont wanna go !! as Sb this would be great but WHERE is all the folks in my area!? lol would love to go Brisk walk with a friend who I could confide in!

  582. Ms Behavin~389197 says:

    lurking while I do my nails

  583. NYC SB says:

    kit kat – there is one in boston… lol you should email him

  584. The Lone Gunman says:

    photogirl says:
    ohh…and just an FYI… Peak activity is expected around 6 a.m. ET (3 a.m. PT) for the Meteor Shower.

    Well that’s not so unusua…oh, wait…Meteor Shower.

    Right.

    Never mind. 😉

    TLG

  585. this health Care thin is intresting!
    I would like a dog gone dentist daddy myself say one of the Cosmetic Dentist! this would be perfect for me however I would still need a small stipend…….

    humm I am sure there are plenty of doc’s on here I would wonder if they would be crossing the line with the Ethics, What happens if the SB gets hooked on painkillers or something?
    it has been proven some of our SD are Very sussecptiable to minulipuation*sp* on an SB’s part!

    thats my thought!! A cosmetic Dentiist would be Right up my ally.

    how would that work you(sd) and she(sb) on your policy? put all the Sb’s on your policy? lol godsh forbid THAT bill wind up in the wife’s hands!
    heck lets get an Auto policy too!!

  586. photogirl says:

    ohh…and just an FYI… Peak activity is expected around 6 a.m. ET (3 a.m. PT) for the Meteor Shower.

  587. photogirl says:

    Should Health Care be part of a sugar daddy/sugar baby arrangement? Why or why not?

    I would never expect it. I did have a pot that wanted to put me on payroll, I would think access to health benefits would be easier this way. Being a self employed single mom, it would certainly be helpful but as already mentioned, I would rather take care of it on my own with the allowance.

    A workout partner would be fun… on many levels.

  588. NYC SB says:

    i think my ex SD (the gift daddy) asked me to find him a venture capitalist for 10million and a person to write his business proposal…

  589. Gemini29 says:

    Hello Sugar world, long time no see!

    Has a sugar helped you in a special/unique way? Do you have a sugar hero?
    Yup. A pot SD realized I was in a bit of a bind and offered to help me out, which was greatly appreciated. In tough times, when things are tight, even the smallest gestures are wonderful.

    Should Health Care be part of a sugar daddy/sugar baby arrangement? Why or why not?
    Hrm. I would think that would be covered by the allowance part of the arrangement (ie: the girl getting her own health insurance), although if something unforseen would happen, an accident or something, it would be fantastic if the SD would help cover it. Its always nice to know that someone IS looking out for you or would be willing to help when the dice are down. I would hate to think that if something bad/accident-wise happend to a SB that the SD would just cut and run.

  590. NYC SB says:

    no man of position would propose such thing… most of them get randomly tested in order to maintain their D&O policies… especially in hedge funds… thus my love for hedgies

  591. Buttercup*381707* says:

    cakepatty: 10+k/m for unprotected sex? .,i dont know if its just me.,but.,i think that for someone to make an offer like that,.it would make me very suspicious- likely of someone who has nothing to lose or chooses ignorance,. i say,.whats money without health??

  592. VillaCypris *396153* says:

    BG – we’re on the other blog! :)

  593. Sweety~AKA BG*395953 says:

    I don’t think a SD should pay for Health insurance, if you get an allowance you can get your own! But, since i’m in Canada, it’s free!

    Hi Everyone!

  594. The Lone Gunman says:

    Re: an SD carrying an SBs Health Insurance.

    I have considered this at times, but have never acted on the idea; it came up in my mind recently when an SB came down with what we were afraid might become the flu–or worse.

    SugarDaddy to the rescue! Got her to a doctor, and after an exam, tests and shot with ‘scrip, she’s on the mend and should be fine in short order.

    TLG

  595. The Lone Gunman says:

    NewSB in SB *395409* :

    I have at times spoken with a pot SB who says they would enjoy having some modification done. I never have understood the desire myself, as they always look just fine to me, but self-image is a tricky thing, I suppose.

    TLG

  596. Does having your sd as a workout partner count towards a HMO?? I’d love an athletic partner who will take me to play racquetball, golf swimming whatever. We can do the aerobic work in between!

    I wouldn’t want an sd to carry my health coverage…that’s too much. I’d be grateful if he wanted to help with something the insurance didn’t cover in the event of an emergency.

    I’m wondering if any sbs have accepted gifts such as plastic surgery, or the like, from an sb? I don’t know how I would feel about such an offer.

    XOXO
    NSB

  597. cakepatty says:

    Hey Buttercup-

    Ewww is right but I suspect that is very common. I have had men who were paying a really high allowance tell me that they expected me to have sex with them without condoms if I wanted an allowance that large (i.e. greater than 10K a month). I have also heard that high priced escorts will have sex for a large fee without condoms. So be careful ladies and gents and be sure to use protection until you get to know someone really well.

  598. Buttercup*381707 says:

    cakepatty says:
    I had an SD for a few months who was a hedgie but I stopped seeing him when I found out he had 3 other sugar babys in NYC alone and a few overseas and I worried about health issues. I found out he was also seeing an escort and not using protection.
    ———————————————————————————— eeew and very irresponsible on his part; happy you found out soon enough and left hun,..

    Should Health Care be part of a sugar daddy/sugar baby arrangement? Why or why not?

    There seems to be a consensus so far,. &i agree that the purpose of a sugar arrangement is to pamper, spoil- and it shouldnt be your only source of income- but we can allocate the allowances as we see best fits-like cakepatty mentioned,[tuition, healthcare,.etc]..,you cant really rule it out of the equation though bcus its true emergencies do happen.,

    hmm Workout partner? that would be great as my last one just moved away,.now im stomping on the tredmill all by my lonesome :( SDs who like to be active-lets me active together LOL

  599. Have fun everyone. Hope all goes well in sugarland. it is son time, he is being a tyrant today, not enough of a nap.

    Talk with everyone tomorrow.

  600. We were wearing the old one out.

    And it would be nice to have a work out partner. When I was in competition shape I was in the best of health.
    It is easier IMO to either workout out with someone, or have an activity where the after effect is to get a workout.

  601. RedMaru says:

    New blog already…wow
    Should health care be a part of the SD/SB arrangement? No unless the SD wants to. SD should be a supplement not a source of dependency unless extenuating circumstances occur. SD/SB arrangement should be fun above all else with SD introducing the SB to things her current circumstances wouldnt allow her access to.

    Would I like my SD to be workout partner….OF COURSE! It would be fun and sexy

  602. 1/2 Step Down says:

    Should Health Care be part of a sugar daddy/sugar baby arrangement? Why or why not?

    Wow! Way to be topical, no?

    But to the question at hand – I think taking upon oneself the responsibility of another’s health care would depend on the individual and the overall nature of the relationship. Health care is not something you can jump around from company to company (some require a year gap between coverages) so 3 month relationships are not conducive for a SB’s health coverage to be covered by her SD/SM. If the relationship is a long standing one, I don’t see how it would really be an issue between the two as the care for each other developed over time would see that each other’s needs are met, you know. If the relationship is one hidden by company checks and payroll, providing for a SB’s health care would be an easy gesture on an SD’s part as the paperwork is already in existence.

    Should it be the a SD’s responsibility to provide such? I would ultimately have to say no, it should not be his responsibility. Should he/she offer to help if his SB was in need? In this case, I think he should, as that would be what a gentleman would do (after all, it is only a few hundred a month). From personal experience, I have never offered nor has it been asked, but maybe in today’s environment, it may be something that comes up more often than not.

  603. SugaCaneBby says:

    I would love it if my SD was my work-out buddy. :3 I heard regular excercise does wonders for your libido, therefore getting fit can be an aphrodisiac.

    I could use a few doctor’s appointments to make sure everything is in shape, but I’m still covered by my father’s insurance. It would be weird to have SD taking care of healthcare costs. O_o

  604. JetSet says:

    Sure health care is spendy and it always comes out of my own pocket.. But the whole idea for me anyway of this sexy, exhilarating relationship is that my SD takes care of the fun stuff… And if theres an allowance, it will all take care of those extras that are needed. I currently have another job on the weekends that I intend to keep as my sugar lifestyle allows. I never put all my eggs in one basket and as sexy as it is to have my guy take full care of me.. I think there needs to be a lot of trust built on both ends of the spectrum for that to ever be a reality…

    Actually going on a second date with a pot here on Thursday, excited to see where this goes..

    XO

  605. cakepatty says:

    NYCSB- yes

  606. NYC SB says:

    cakepatti – did you meet him from SA?

  607. gurlnextdoor says:

    Has a sugar helped you in a special/unique way? Do you have a sugar hero?
    I had one sugar help me in a special way, but it had nothing to do with health benefits. It was a guy (found out later he was just looking for a girlfriend) I met on another site a few months back. He flew me down to Miami for the weekend and took me out on the town. Showed me some of the best restaraunts in the area, took me club hopping at some really nice clubs, and all done on his tab. After that little adventure I decided that I didn’t want to live the rest of my life living like the ordinary Jane who works a normal 9-5. I want to be able to live like he did, even once the sugar disappears. I want a job that I love so much that I think doing it is fun opposed to work, I want to be able to work from home, go wherever I want, etc. So I guess he’s my sugar hero for being a big motivation factor in my life.

    Should Health Care be part of a sugar daddy/sugar baby arrangement? Why or why not?
    I think that’s a decision that only the sugar daddy and sugar baby involved in that arrangement can make.

  608. Anna Molly says:

    Cakepatty

    All I can say is, ewww! I would have stopped seeing him too! I’m looking for a SD who wants only one SB thank you very much :).

  609. cakepatty says:

    If what you seek are men/boys who loves their toys, have tons of money and like to really exploit/show off their wealth and don’t mind that they have a ship in every port so to speak, then hedgies are the way to go.

    I had an SD for a few months who was a hedgie but I stopped seeing him when I found out he had 3 other sugar babys in NYC alone and a few overseas and I worried about health issues. I found out he was also seeing an escort and not using protection.

  610. cakepatty says:

    If a sugar baby is getting an allowance why can’t she use that to pay for her own health insurance. Why would an SD want to in any way compromise the discretion by paying out of his pocket for that

  611. AtlNicole says:

    ~Should Health Care be part of a sugar daddy/sugar baby arrangement? Why or why not?

    That would be a strange request IMO. Perhaps if an emergency came up and a SB needed help covering the medical bills it could be included as a temporary thing. I know that medical bills can be daunting if you do not have the insurance to cover them.

  612. ~Has a sugar helped you in a special/unique way? Do you have a sugar hero?

    I would have to say no, as I haven’t had a SD/SB yet.

    ~Should Health Care be part of a sugar daddy/sugar baby arrangement? Why or why not?

    I thought SD/SB was i less no no drama relationship, that is to the benefit to both.

    And it isn’t a job. No simply to say I think that that is pushing it, unless it is of concern to the SD

  613. Eric says:

    I don’t think health care should be included. Unless for some reason the sugar baby would be in need of significant health care.

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