8 years ago
Tempting Offers?

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Sugar Daddies and Sugar Babies are adept at proposing an enticing offer, though knowing when to say yes or no may determine just how ‘mutual’ your benefit is here in Sugarland…

Have you ever been given an offer from a sugar that you had to decline? If so, why?

Are you more dominant, or submissive in Sugarland?

Who do you prefer to take the lead in an arrangement, the SD or the SB?


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1,422 Responses to “Tempting Offers?”

  1. Felicity says:

    Hey guys and girls,

    I’m quite new to the site and have had no interest at all… I just wondered if you might be kind enough to have a look at my profile & be able to suggest where I might be going wrong?

    I’m not sure how I can link back to you either when you post here… sorry, I’m useless at this!!

    Flick xxx

  2. Have you ever been given an offer from a sugar that you had to decline? If so, why?

    None from a sugar baby so far

  3. Angelfire says:

    Hello Sugarland,

    I have been on the SA site for a clean 2 months now…and have read the blogs for most of that time…You all have made me laugh, and others have captured my heart in many ways. Thank you for providing useful information and forming a sense of community for me. So, this is my first blogpost:)

    I would like your feedback on this please pot…met 9/13 on SA, we emailed a couple of times, and he called over the following week or so, and each tme I missed his call. I would return the call with VM…so, a few weeks past with no communication. October 12, he is coming to town and have thought of me and would like to meet. We had a drink at a lovely restuarant, as he had dinner earlier with his daughter. Our meeting was scheduled for 8:30pm. ~Mind you, he came across country, coast to coast for a business meeting..and he could have flown into another airport, yet choose airport which will be closer to me & his daughter… plus, plus
    .
    Mind you, I was impressed with him, and really felt instant chemistry. We parted with sweetness and within a couple of hours I was home having sugarplum dreams. We have since spoken over the phone and emailed back and forth…

    I have broached the conversation of an arrangement in one of our emails, and he was open to the discussion but no offer has been made, my profile then read “neg”…any suggestions? Shuld I tell him what is acceptable for me? I want to make the right move, but the time and the energy is torture…….

    Also, just how do I find out if he is really serious?

    Anyway, sugars…have there been an offer I refused? Yes, one offline person…ok, sugar?!?. He wanted me to move into his mansion of a home, it had fantastic views and located in the heart of LA. It was beautiful. He was willing to take care of me….meals and house privileges. This man was not NICE, he was actually mean, controlling and passionless. If there was chemistry between us and he was NICE:), I would have loved it…In addition, he was unwilling to offer any resources at all, and he wanted to dictate how, when and where my present resources should stop. Iam a life coach and he mocked my business and wanted me to quit, then he would give me $400.00 a week! I said “No Thanks!” He turned to be a very “ugly’ person…meaning his attitude was not an acceptable match. The cost of my personal respect, and dignity is wayyy to high.

    On a lighter note, the reason of this posting: I tend to be more submissive initially as I feel the lead of this type of relationship should be the man, even though I am often the one who makes first contact:) However, I am listening to my sugar instincts more and more…..You see, I am new to the sugar community, not new to having sugardaddies. The arrangement part of it equate to business for me. I have a strong aptitude for business, and in the beginning….I want to get that part of the relationship done, so we can really enjoy the fun. So, I am both…it depends on what is needed, requested or implied. Sorry, I am a Gemini…ok?:) I am both:)

    And lastly…I like to take the lead….because, when in a relationship, it is my joy to relieve as much stress from his life as possible. I enjoy planning and creating the environment but I am also appreciative of one who enjoys doing that for me….

    You will hear more from me….See yo all soon…wishing you all great success

  4. FemNoir says:

    I was offered a 10G fur coat.. Couldn’t take it. I belong to Peta and I love animals too much. I tried it on and felt the dead carcasses on me.. It was gross. He offered much more. Insurance, The Will, Marriage. Only if I waited us out a bit longer.. If he wanted to do these things for me, He could of done it easy. Yet he let me go through 2 oral surgeries with out offering help even for the anti-biotics.. WEAK.. My X-girl friend paid for the anti-biotics. Sooo what was he good for? Not much. I said Peace. The dead fur should of been the first sign.

  5. Just Push Play says:

    After only a short time on SA I have already learned quite a bit. Most of these men don’t get it. The majority of us are seeking gentlemen, pure and simple. A five star dinner and or drinks are wonderful to get to know each other. I have found many of the SD’s to be “shoppers.” They ask a million questions about you via phone and email which is fine. Chemistry is part of the total package as far as I am concerned but please consider our SB time is important too. So the SD’s send out 30 emails to SD’s and after all the SD’s taking the time to answer, they “cherry pick” and blow the rest of the SD’s off. Here is a thought SD’s. Seek out the few you find most compelling and write them….if it doesn’t connect then move on. Please don’t waste our time as most of us put a lot of thought and reflection into our responses. Lastly, there are many of us that are classy ladies and don’t wish to be groped or have a tongue put down our throat on the first date. If you want to take that angle then at least have the courtesy to “put your cards on the table” as to what your expectations are and discuss the allowance as it pertains to the arrangement first. This way the SD and SB are on the same page and can move forward from there. Like so many of the SD’s say “there are no free test drives.” Most of you are business men and would not do business without a contract or retainer agreement in place, would you? But somehow you expect the SD’s to just guess what the arrangement is. Open your mouths enough (prior to sticking your tongue down our throut) enough to say what your willing to put on the table reqarding the “mutually beneficial” part (monthly allowance) or don’t push so hard. Lastly, as previously stated, the five star dinners and shows are nice. But if that is all you are looking for go to E-Harmony or Match.com and forgo carrying on a “friendship: expecting us to spend countless hours on email or the phone just “catching up”….it isn’t what we signed up for. SA is a great concept, some of the SD’s just need to get what that concept is or get the hell off of it.

  6. Sexy Biker Babe says:

    Hi Guys,

    I am talking with a pot right now, a fellow in another city. His profile says he’s married. He wants me to fly to his city, he says he will buy the airline tix and hotel. He wants to meet for lunch, and then spend the rest of the day (or days, he said) in hotel. He sent me two pictures, but they were obviously taken by him – one of those deals where the person in the photo is holding the camera and taking a self portrait. I’m thinking: if he’s married, and normal, why not just send a snapshot and crop your significant other out?

    He asked me what my requirements are. In my profile I have an allowance range mentioned, and it gels with what he has stated in his profile. Normally I would ask a pot to fly to me, but I really want to go to NYC (where this guy lives) and see the sights. How can I best suggest a neutral meeting, and still ask him to pay for my time? And how can I make sure he’s safe, and not some weirdo?

    Thanks!

  7. EasternSureBaby ID# 382856 says:

    I’ve been reading posts for an hour. I have learned so much.. mostly I’m way to trusting!! I have met men from other web sights, and was used and played. Learned alot from that expierence too. I have had a few SDs approach me, but have one pot. now that really interests me. He seems sincere, but lives in another state. He wants me to fly up there to meet him. After reading this blog, I’m thinking, he can come here, meet me for an evening, then see where this goes. Thank you wonderful SB’s for your advice. I’m hoping this works for me. Anyone who wants to check out my profile and offer suggestions, please do! Thanks again!! :)

  8. Sweet Jess*366291* says:

    I could have sworn that I published on this blog!!! I searched it twice tonight for responses to my post. Can you guys please look at my profile and tell me whats wrong!!!

  9. VirginPearl says:

    okay well lets forget about the virginity… She is his sugar babe anyway.. they do anything but penetretion for the moment. So how much could she hask for in a month and how much can she get from a 3 week trip away?? We would really appreciate your advice !! Anf let’s not forget she’s a hottie ^^

  10. 1/2 Step Down says:

    google “virginity for sale”

  11. The Lone Gunman says:

    VirginPearl:

    What you are describing is NOT a Sugar dating arrangement, so I would be surprised if anyone offered you any advise on the topic you raise.

    TLG

  12. VirginPearl says:

    Hey boys and girl !!! I have a question for u… pardon my poor english please ! 😛

    One of my friend is 22, an awsome cutie and actually a real virgin…. She’s a lesbian who decide to get back on track and try it with a man. She also have a lot of debt and decided to find a SD to give her a spark for the future…. She also founded a real multi-millionnaire who truly wants that precious little skin and already consider her as his own diamond. He likes them young and is offering her a 3 week vacation in mexico to create the perfect moment of truth. We know he can affort a lot and he REALLY wants it.

    Now we are wondering… how much a girl like that is worth??? And her virginity? we heard about a girl who sold it for a million on ebay…… It’s her first time in the business and she don’t know a lot about it… please help us !!!

  13. SugarCookie says:

    Hey all! First time posting in the blog! I’m wondering how I could arrange to meet up with other SB’s in my area. It seems most of the girls who blog are from the US of A and I’m in Canada all by myself. :(

    You can’t search up or contact other SB’s, so how on earth do you connect? I would LOVE to have a galpal around my age to gossip about SD’s with, shop, hang out, and watch out for each other since it’s so taboo with our regular friends.

    I’m 18 and in the GTA, by the way. Any advice?

  14. Good Morning Ladies and Gents. As well as the Lurkers here.

    On the Allowance is kind of a grey area.

    If you claim it as income then Yes you have to pay taxes on it.

    But as most of you have mentioned if given as the ‘gift’ it really is, Then no you don’t have to pay taxes.

    But if you do lump sum deposit huge amounts into your bank account then the bank is duty bound to report you to the IRS and they will get rather suspicious as to where the money is coming from and audit you for suspected activities.

    If you also have put some away into a high yield account (careful with the online ones they are all ponzi’s) Then you would have to report the interest earned. Only if in profit.

    So depending on how you handle your gents ‘gifts’ depends on how you would report it.

    Before everything went to ‘hell’ and I was taken for everything, I was in the process of setting up an overseas business (tax, duty, and trade free-well so long as you didn’t do business in the area) and buying a loft here. I was doing research on taxes what you have to claim and not claim. There was someone who wanted to be my partner but wanted to help with a ‘gift’ instead of documented investment.

    So it may have changed in the last 4 years or so, but I don’t think it would change that radically.

    I think I touched all of the bases.

    O and if you want to be double sure that you are safe. Then you may want to consider opening a ‘business’ in panama, I would suggest an aged shelved entity, get a foundation established, and donate your money, then do as you please.

    JUST FYI

    :)

  15. Liv. says:

    Liz- I despise that too. I don’t mind at all if it it mentioned- come on, who are we kidding? But, if it is being pushed to the point where I feel uncomfortable, then something needs to be said- politely, of course. If he reacts negatively or angrily, then why would you want to continue with this SD? It seems like that would set a precedent for your relationship…him pushing his way and reacting if he doesn’t get it. Some of these men just need to be kept on track…others, well, they are just looking for a little romp ‘n run, if you know what I mean :)

  16. SugaCaneBby says:

    DC: Thanks for the feedback! :)

    Liz_2: Let him know that he is pushing the sexual aspect a little too prominently. Me, I’m pretty blunt (I have trouble sugar-coating things because from my experience, people mistake kindness for weakness and therefore never take you seriously). I go, “Hey, I feel you’re focusing on the sexual aspect way too much. Me, I’m more about chemistry. Isn’t that important as well?” Most men I’ve said this to back-track pretty quickly and go, “Oh of course! Chemistry is very important!” and drop the sex speak pretty quick. :3 Go with what you feel is a comfortable way to let the guy know you’re UNcomfortable though. I know I can be very brash at times.

  17. Koi says:

    Ah okay, I’m in SaTown, lol

  18. NewTXSB says:

    Koi:
    Htown

  19. DC says:

    Flo! Don’t go!

    I understand though. I love the sense of community as well but find it to be a big distraction and source of procrastination for me at times.

    As for the loneliness- I fortunately have a few friends off the blog I can share my lifestyle with.
    Best of luck to you. I have appreciated your sharing your wisdom with all of us.

    DC

  20. Liz_2 says:

    I’m currently talking to this great pot SD. However, he is talking about sexual stuff a little too much for my liking. Everything else is completely perfect except for that. . . how do I get him to tone it down a little bit? I don’t really feel comfortable giving him the nitty gritty details about my sex life.

  21. DC says:

    Hi sugarcanebaby-

    Looked at your profile. You look and sound great. I still think men mainly care about the physical and how you look in your pictures and especially in the sugar world, that probably accounts for 75%. Then they try and get an essence of what you are about…does she sound fun, smart, worldly or too desperate and maybe even crazy. You sound very smart and grounded. The only feedback I would add would be to maybe shorten it a bit.

    Best of luck!

  22. Koi says:

    NewTX where in TX are you from? If you don’t mind saying that is =)

  23. Mina says:

    Just wrote you, doll :)

  24. SugaCaneBby says:

    Thanks for the feedback Koi! And darn my dyslexia!!! lol.

  25. NewTXSB says:

    Mina:
    simplesf at y

  26. Mina says:

    NewTXSB
    No, I did not get your email address :(

  27. Koi says:

    Hi SugaCane!

    Profile looks and sounds great!

    Just change:

    adapatable –> adaptable

    comapany –> company

    Good luck!

  28. Sweety SB~AKA BG*395953 says:

    BTW ~ if anyone knows Flo Rida’s email I would like to contact her, ask Stephan to send me your email…. thanks!

    good night all lurkers, ladies and gents!

  29. SugaCaneBby says:

    I regret seeing Flo Rida go. :( She was a wealth of information.

  30. SugaCaneBby says:

    Chatting with a pot right now who seems like he may be the real deal. 😀 Pulls no stops, is a little more upfront about the physical aspect of the arrangement then I’d like, but he also asked me about what I was looking for financially after all of that and he seems okay with the range I pitched. I think he may be one of those that sends out canned messages though because I had to redirect him to my profile for pics (username and everything, even though that’s how he initially contacted me) which means I have “competition”. *shrug*

    I don’t know if anybody will even be interested or be able to get to it through the rest of the posts (in which case I’ll post again), but I’d love some feedback on my updated profile! I’d like to make some final tweeks before upgrading and messaging the men on my faves list. ID=353866. Thanks in advance!

  31. Koi says:

    Good evening All!

    I just got a request to be arm candy. Strictly show.

    Ha, reminds me of car clubs-

    “Are you show and go?”

    “No, I’m just show.”

    SD’s and SB’s out there, have you given/received many of these offers? If so, please tell me what your experience was like. Thank you!

  32. Sweety SB~AKA BG*395953 says:

    Flo Rida~ I don’t understand why you are leaving? Everyone is welcome here, no matter what! it’s an outlet to talk to others about what is going on in our SB/SD relationships, lives and searches! You should stay!
    You have great input , you help others, we are all here to help one another!
    Good luck with everything, if you don’t come back! but you really should stay…. who ever it is that you’ve made a commitment too, i’m sure they will understand…. and why would you have to leave???? i just don’t get it, it feels like you are being bullied into leaving and if so This is so not Right! who ever it is,….it’s wrong!

  33. Sweety SB~AKA BG*395953 says:

    Taz~ sorry forgot about turkey day somewhat….. i was cleaning up the yard for winter…. blah… How was yours?

  34. Taz says:

    Precisely :)

    So how was your turkey day BG? Have any new pot’s to be thankful for? :)

  35. Sweety SB~AKA BG*395953 says:

    Taz~ i was just going to answer your first Question lol…. but i don’t think there is a restriction here on gifts. Like our lotto winning here we don’t pay taxes on , they do

  36. BabyKT says:

    I’m wondering about taxes and IRS too… What do SBs do? Not that I have 15-20K/month to worry about, but maybe I will soon! This is actually terrible, but I’ve never filed/paid taxes before. I’ve only worked as a nanny, a tutor, and a personal trainer, and all of the jobs were private and paid cash, so there was never any record of them.

  37. Stina says:

    Long time no see yall!! =)

  38. Taz says:

    Haha BG just saw your correction 😛

  39. Taz says:

    BG I do believe it is similar here as to the US. As long as it is deemed a GIFT – with no strings attached (no repayment, not working for the money)…but there may be some burden the gifter…I actually asked my accountant before.waaay before I ever thought about being an SB 😉

  40. Stina says:

    I had a guy ask me if we could have an “arrangement” for the weekend. shopping plus cash, it was tempting because I had some things I need to pay that month. But no matter how much I tried to rationalize it…it just didn’t sit right with me. I go off of my instincts right off.

    I prefer for the man to take charge. That way I can always say no if I have a problem. I’d rather say no to them then they say no to me =)

  41. NYC SB says:

    Derivatives Trader says:
    October 12, 2009 at 7:23 pm
    Interesting discussion: Had a few questions and would love everybody’s feedback.

    SDs: what about taxes? once you exceed 12K a year-one has to pay gift taxes. unless you pay school expenses directly to the school. Then it is not taxable and my last SB was a student which wa very convenient.

    This is also correct… you dont get taxed only if you pay directly to the school… the SB cannot “touch” the money as in you cannot give it to her to pay her tuition…

    ok CPA hat off… im leaving work sugar world… chat with you tomorrow 😀

  42. Sweety SB~AKA BG*395953 says:

    meant to say: we have no restrictions on gifts, money etc…. god, i’m tired lol

  43. NYGent says:

    enjoyed your posts flo rida, good luck

  44. Sweety SB~AKA BG*395953 says:

    Derivatives Trader~ welcome to the blog!
    keep on reading the blog, i’m sure they will answer your questions about taxes… i’m not in the U.S. and we have restrictions on gifts , money gifts , etc…

  45. NYC SB says:

    SouthernGent2 says:
    October 12, 2009 at 9:00 pm
    Back to the subject of the high allowance sb’s. Suppose a girl is pulling in allowance of 15-20k per month. How does she hide that from the IRS? If she has a bank account making a certain amount of high interest, but isn’t reporting w-2 income, seems to me that would get flagged.

    Who says you have to hide it… SD pays gift tax on allowance… SB pays additional tax on interest earned or any subsequent gains from reinvesting the money :)

  46. SouthernGent2 – It’s always best to ask an attorney, but I don’t believe she would have to report the income on her federal taxes…just the interest. State taxes may be a different story. It looks like most of the tax burden is on the giver. Check out IRS dot gov.

  47. SouthernGent2 says:

    Back to the subject of the high allowance sb’s. Suppose a girl is pulling in allowance of 15-20k per month. How does she hide that from the IRS? If she has a bank account making a certain amount of high interest, but isn’t reporting w-2 income, seems to me that would get flagged.

  48. Taz says:

    Awww Flo Rider – sorry to see you leave :( good luck with everything I guess… :)….hoping you change your mind somewhere along the way!!

  49. BabyKT says:

    True. Also, if traveling a few times a month is required, I think it should reflect on allowance, which is average with this pot. Or, maybe it’s not average, but it’s something I’ve already been offered a few times from local pot SDs. Overall, not a tempting offer : )

  50. Gemini29 says:

    Baby Kt – I think that is something important that most SD don’t realize… travel to a SB can be really hard to “explain away” to family and friends…especially if the SB is on hard times and then suddenly is off galivanting around the world..that isn’t a low profile for the SBs life. For that reason, right now, travel is NOT a tantalizing aspect of the SD/SB relationship for myself. That would raise so many questions in my private life that it wouldn’t be worth it to me, and I’m assuming, probably the same goes for many other SBs especially if they are in their early to mid to late twenties, where we still have close contact with family members. Just something for SDs to consider…

  51. BabyKT says:

    Gemini – Interesting…I’m thinking about it, but I’m somewhat paranoid about going. Like for many of you out here, practically no one knows about my lifestyle, so it would be hard to explain frequent trips, or confide in someone in case of emergency. I’m thinking for the first meeting, he should definitely come my way… that’s as far as I’ve gotten with this.

  52. I Flo Rida will miss you greatly, You have helped me a number of times even the short time that I have been on this blog/site.

    *hugs* I wish you well hun.

  53. Flo Rida…Known you a short while, but best of luck on your new direction! Thanks for all the tips.

  54. Gemini29 says:

    Awww, bye Flo Rida! Personally I’ve enjoyed your presence on the blog and if you want, keep in touch by email. Good luck in all of your sugar and non-sugar works!

    BabyKT – I’ve a few pots who want to fly me into different states. I have no problem doing this, as long as the first meeting is that only, just a chance to get to know each other and see if the chemistry and connection is really there in person. I also have to fit that travel into my schedule and life a bit, it would be a bit hard for me to explain constant trips away… I prefer a bit of give-and-take or if the SD could travel to me…something to be worked out once we established a connection and chemistry. I wouldn’t rule it out completely, there are pot SDs who I would love love love to have as a SD but only once my life could accomodate their travel schedules.

  55. BabyKT says:

    Flo – You know I’m a newbie, but you’ve helped me quite a bit already and I will already miss you. I’m sure you know what you are doing. Good luck, girl.

  56. Flo Rida says:

    Public service announcement (I do have the flair of being dramatic)

    After very little deliberation, I’ve decided to retire from the blog, I’m going to that great blog lounge in the sky. LOL

    My reasons are personal, but I’ve made a commitment to someone whom I respect (not SD) that something won’t happen again and a way of honoring it is to leave the blog. Also my initial reasons for coming on to the blog was that I felt very lonely (frankly I can’t tell a lot of people what I’m doing – so I’m living half lies) and I wanted to find someone who was experiencing similar emotions, fears, successes and failures and I haven’t succeeded there. My education, years of sales and life training and the benefit of a good but broken family have given me tremendous confidence and I rarely find a question on the blog I don’t have an opinion on or insight into (even if people disagree with my comments).

    What I deeply treasure is the sense of community and sharing that womanhood (and the occassional male SD SB) excels at. I’m proud to have met some truly wonderful people from all walks of life.

    I hope I’ve helped more people than I’ve harmed and I’ve enjoyed blogging with everyone tremendously – hilarious times.

    Also thanks to the fine people at seekingarrangement – none of the above would have been possible without their commitment, hard work and dedication behind the scenes (also their own personal enrichment I hasten to add).

    Those whom I’m currently helping I’ll happily continue to help (I’m a pleaser).

    I wish everyone blog, sugardating and real life peace, harmony and propsperity.

    PS – DC I guess you’re right on the age thing, maybe all men like the feeling of youth. Thanks for the compliment, it’ll be a pleasurable thought in retirement.
    PPS – After my arrangement ends I’ll also retire from sugar dating.
    PPPS – Does anyone want to hire me as a speechwriter (final joke)?

    Ciao peeps – PAX

  57. Derivatives Trader says:

    Interesting discussion: Had a few questions and would love everybody’s feedback.

    SDs: what about taxes? once you exceed 12K a year-one has to pay gift taxes. unless you pay school expenses directly to the school. Then it is not taxable and my last SB was a student which wa very convenient.

  58. BabyKT says:

    What does everything think about guys from far-away states. I got an email from a pot SD from a different site, wanting to fly me to SC a few times a month, where he lives, assuming there is a connection. Has anyone had an experience flying out to a different state a few times a month for a SD? I’m a little nervous, since it will be a completely unfamiliar area. Any advice on how to handle these “long-distance” relationships?

  59. lisa says:

    I had to turn my airconditioning back on. No more cool weather till friday

  60. I’m jealous…it’s 45 and raining here.

  61. Gemini29 says:

    Hehehe I get so many of the “can I see more pictures please?” from guys, and this when I have 3 very clear photos of myself posted. So I send them some very nice pictures of myself, fully fully clothed, and go about my merry little way. Sometimes I’ll add the “and may I see yours too?” but rarely does that net me photos.

    If they are nice, they’ll stay around. Luckily haven’t gotten a guy yet who wanted anything dirty, but I’m sure he’ll turn up someday.

    I did have one guy very interested in me from my profile and those pictures, I sent him an additional “newer” one and never heard from him again. Either I got ugly really fast or what he had in mind was different. Too bad for him, I don’t play those games.

  62. lisa says:

    Problem is it’s too hot for a raincoat, I had to take my trench coat off when I got out as it’s in the 80’s.

  63. NewTXSB – whatever the weather, I’m sure you two will have a great time! Put away the raincoat and dance in the rain!

  64. NewTXSB says:

    Lisa:
    Thanks! Yep…rain tomorrow too. I think I may just bring my Chi w/ me to work so I can fix my hair before my meeting…..this d*mn humidity is really aggravating!

  65. *nods* on the next message I plan on asking. But wanted his words as to what kind of photos he was looking for.

  66. lisa says:

    NewTXSB hope everything goes well tomorrow. I think it’s going to rain again. I managed to only get soaked feet on the way to the mall.

  67. And he says verification purpose, So we will see. Maybe I have an honest pot sd. *shrugs*

  68. NYC SB says:

    photo girl – unlikely… i have no intention of meeting new men at this time… my dance card is quite full

  69. 😀 I figured out the pic in the corner,

    ~~~NYC SB says:
    October 7, 2009 at 6:14 pm

    google en gravatar
    ~~~

    But per NYC SB and FLO don’t do a real close up of your face. girls like to steal identities apprently

  70. photogirl says:

    Lady 8 – He has no images on his profile, you have 2 and he is asking for more? Has he sent you any of himself yet? Personally, I would not send him anymore until he can send you some.

    You are a busy lady NYC SB 😉 I see more cheescake in your future!

  71. BabyKT says:

    New SB – Google “en gravatar” and register the email address you are using when posting on the blog.

  72. NewTXSB says:

    Lisa:
    Nope. *pout* We rescheduled for tomorrow.

  73. One more thing…one of these guys asked for more pics when I already have 3 current ones up…so I sent him one of me firing an assault rifle and a 9mm..hehehe.

  74. LOL, you have a point lisa, he has no pictures. and he is saying that the situation would be ideal.

    Yup, I agree, but you never know, maybe he wants a photo next to the NYT

    So far no reply, my bet is the dirty pictures. So yet again I snagged another time waster.

  75. NYC SB says:

    got 4 new pot emails… two of which sound rather interesting… im tempted

  76. Hey y’all :-)

    I believe I have experienced my first two pot sd duds…oh well. I could be wrong except that neither of their “real” names come up when googled and other research sources I am privy to.

    Baby KT…I haven’t figured out how to put the pic in the corner..what did you do?

    Speed…I was on the back of a bike going 115 on a bypass. Kind of stupid lookng back, but fun!

    xoxo

    New SB

  77. lisa says:

    this is especially nice when the sd has 0 pic or a very blurry one and then asks for more pics.

    taking a break now to find my contact which somehow is stuck to the inside of my eyelid, ouch

  78. BabyKT says:

    I would understand if a SD asked for additional 1-2 pictures, other than those on the site as a verification measure. Of course, dirty pictures would get an immediate “No way, Jose!” Though, it is annoying when you’ve already sent 5 regular pics and he’s asking for more to “hold him over” until we meet.

  79. lisa says:

    Lady_8 397899 he probably was.

    NewTXSB, did you meet that pot sd today?

  80. BabyKT says:

    TLG – ROFL! I’ve been dying at everyone’s comments about this since 4pm.

    Flo- Great explanation / comparison! I think SBs have potential to turn into mistresses with time.
    I can’t believe you met the daughter! My ex-SD’s daughter and I went to the same college (in a diff state too!) and had classes in the same buildings (from what he told me). He was really nervous for the longest time, but I assured him if we ever did meet, I wouldn’t say anything. What a small world.

  81. I was thinking the same. but compared to the last one that messaged he sounds like a gem.

    Thanks guys. I have to say that this blog is invaluable for us noobs. Keeps our heads on straight.

    It sounds like he was looking for ‘dirty’ pictures which is a cold day in hell. But I replied claiming ignorance so for being overly hopeful of me, maybe he wants id proof type thing.

    Though I won’t hold my breath.

  82. lisa says:

    edit He sounds like a picture collector

  83. NewTXSB says:

    Mina:
    Did you see my addy?

    Yep…the guy sounds like he just wants more pictures. The 2 pics you have up should be enough (I would think) for serious SDs.

  84. lisa says:

    Lady_8 397899

    Although he is asking for more photo’s even though I do have two very good pictures of myself.

    So I am not sure what exactly what he is getting at

    Answer: He sounds like a picture, very common on the site

  85. Happy Lurker says:

    Just got back from a few days abroad and had to read up soooooo much.
    Speaking of Timbuktu.
    Once met a friendly young SB, but the fact that she confessed to be partly Nigeria, found made me laughing loudly all the way back.
    Me ? Bishop Happy Lurker ! Great new identity. Pleased to meet you.
    Kimberley, in reaction to your post yesterday where I am located, the answer is mainly Belgium or Holland or France or Spain or UK.
    It just depends where my fancy takes me.
    Hid my profile now,
    I really enjoy that song text.

  86. This time I got a message from what appears to be a gentleman.

    Although he is asking for more photo’s even though I do have two very good pictures of myself.

    So I am not sure what exactly what he is getting at

  87. I am trying not to overly blind myself. Thank you.

    I know logically what a SD/SB would entail. but still very noobish though I hate that title, I have to admit that it does fit in this case.

    And thinking twice, maybe I am just too critical because thinking from what you said, maybe an ideal thing to consider. As it would be good not to get overly attached.

    As I have been told that these arrangements don’t last too long.

  88. DC says:

    Hi Flo!

    I’ve been laying low with a bum back.

    Thanks for explaining that. I wasn’t disagreeing at all, just haven’t really heard the word mistress used all too often these days and was wondering what the difference is. You could write a book IMO and I mean that in the nicest way 😉

    I think you are right about the duration….SB relationships tend to be shorter from what I have heard. Do you really think there is a smaller age gap with mistresses? I would think wealthy powerful men would still prefer a really young mistress.

  89. NewTXSB says:

    Yes I’ve been contacted by married SD’s.

    I’ve never had a SD but current potential is married.

  90. Flo Rida says:

    DC – hey long time no speak to. Don’t shoot me if you disagree with the below.

    Just some random thoughts on differences:

    Duration of relationship – Mistress – long – SB potentially short
    Generosity – Mistress – usually very, SB – varies from miniscule to generous
    Social circle – Mistress – limited to a discrete social circle but needs to fit in with generally a high social circle – SB – usually no one else knows
    Age difference – Mistress – smaller gap SB – I think we’re discussing small to large gaps
    Prior social standing – Mistress – understands the world SD moves in – SB – varies from has no idea to understanding social circle
    Access to SD and SD’s possessions and personal life – Mistress – clearly defined access – SB no access to clearly defined access
    Time availability – Mistress – high SB – may have own life, children, school and so more restrictions on time
    Emotional connection – Mistress – generally high SB – ranges from limited to high

    Travel and mentoring – probably moreso in the mistress category.

    This got me thinking that we don’t talk about mentoring or a boost to SBs careers that much which frankly is a big big factor – I’m learning so much and have so many contacts now (contacts that can be taken away from me in a heartbeat I hasten to add).

    For the record I’m not a mistress as SD is not divorced and I’ve met the daughter (who is lovely) but not the ex-wife. i’m not really sure what I am, but i’m happy (most of the time).

    Gotta run.

  91. NYC SB says:

    My SD is married Lady…

  92. DC says:

    All of my SDs have been married Lady_8.

    Actually I prefer to be with married men as I am not looking to get too attached to anyone or have anyone get too attached to me. I am currently dating someone and am not looking for anything serious to develop from being a sugar baby. My SDs have all known that I had a boyfriend and they were just fine with it.

  93. Do you ladies get messaged by married SD’s?

    Do you have SD’s that are married?

  94. O thank goodness. *big sigh of relief*

  95. DC says:

    Hey Flo Rida-

    Skimming through the posts and trying to catch up. I am just curious by what you wrote about there being a big difference between a mistress and an SB. I would love to hear your thoughts on this.

    Thanks

  96. The Lone Gunman says:

    BabyKT says:
    Another SD just sent me 3 pictures of himself, including his penis. Sigh… what is my life coming to?

    Staring at her monitor, BabyKT reaches for her keyboard and types…

    Sir, I wanted to thank you for the three pictures you sent me, but am having trouble with the third one.

    It appears to be a man’s penis, but much, MUCH smaller. May I ask where you found this?

    TLG

  97. NYC SB says:

    BabyKT and Lady 8 – yes nothing happened… flo and i have a lil inside joke … never really had a stalker from the blog… although a pot SD turned real nasty when I declined to sleep with him and bombarded me with texts for weeks to come

  98. Taz says:

    Busy day on the blog :)

    Happy Thanksgiving BG and the rest of the Canadians out there!!

    TLG – I thought only Canadians said eh?

    VC – I agree I do have to make contact in a lot of situations to even get noticed b/c of location…but it is usually well thought out and specific to their profile if I am interested…win some you lose some 😉

    1/2 Step Down that is very interesting…I may have to check out that site myself :)

    Sincere – great advice about contacting SD’s – I concur!

    OC – I have found (and maybe it is just my area) – now that I have put in a range of 3-5k (which is considerably low compared to what I read here) I get more serious SD’s contacting me. Before it was a lot more fakes looking for escorts..but upon initially joining the site thought the same thing you did – that I was being flexible…

  99. OMG, back from lurkdom. didn’t last very long.

    everything ended up ok NYC SB??

    I have personally been cyber stalked before and it is scary esp. when it bled to irl.

    Send sympathies.

  100. Flo Rida says:

    BabyKT – private joke – I tracked down NYC SB’s hispanic evil twin (she’s not hispanic) at the NYSE. You do look very pretty though – but “off with her head”.

  101. BabyKT says:

    Flo – Oh, no, thanks for the heads up. *off to change the avatar*

    NYC SB – what happened to you?

  102. Flo Rida says:

    BabyKT – Sorry for my rudeness but you shouldn’t put your own face as your gravator (assuming it’s you). People have devious ways of connecting the dots – ask NYC SB (I tracked down her evil hispanic twin at the NYSB). Always be safe. PS If it’s not you I applaud your foresight.

  103. BabyKT says:

    Ok, I started over! New account, New profile, new location, and set my amount as Negotiable! In 24 hours I better find 20 new inbox messages: )

  104. mina I got you mixed up with margo!! sorry ! I was wondering why you were sounding scoffish!! lol you shoulda said Kat you been on them sodas again?? lol sorry! my sinserest apoliges hun!!

  105. NYC SB says:

    haha BabyKT – dont be silly – im leaving that bracket in 2 months and i CANNOT wait

    Mina – you flatter me… i bet i can learn much from you… i work weekends only during quarters :)

  106. Mina says:

    Im off to do… Well, something other than sitting in front of a laptop. Bye ladies & gents!

  107. BabyKT says:

    NYC SB – Thanks, Lately I’ve been getting depressed about leaving the 18-24 age bracket in two years. I know I’m going to get in trouble for making this comment.. :0

  108. Mina says:

    Kit Kat – Huh?? I already have an SD, no need to get my profile “straightened out”

    NYC SB – That’s awful! And the immunity to coffee doesnt help either. You work through weekends as well, no?

    Flo Rida – I’d be happy to help out NewTXSB since I have a fair amoutn of experience with arrangement, but something tells me I still have a thing or two to learn from you and NYC SB!

  109. NYC SB says:

    BabyKT – you did it! YAYYYYYY

    you look so young!

  110. Have fun ladies, gonna go back to lurk status. enjoy your monday.

  111. NYC SB says:

    Mina – Been working for the past 15 days till 10-11 at night… no days off… im wiped out… coffee is not doing anything for me at this point :(

  112. NewTXSB says:

    “BabyKT: Ask Mr. Penis to wrap today’s NYC times around it so you can verify it is actually his…”

    OMG……I haven’t laughed this hard in a long time! That is priceless….

  113. yes flo I know I lived in Heildelburg for 3 years!

  114. Mina love I was meaning to collect the E-mails that will come once you get your profile straight and all the SB buisness down pat in your head I mean I dont give out my phone number anymore! I give out my e-mail, or at least till i get my secondary phone!

  115. Flo Rida says:

    All – I was going to suggest a ruler next to the offending article to gauge his height LOL – but that might encourage him :-)

    Mina – NEwTXSB – it would be great if you can help NewTXSB out – yay – maybe a soul saved!

    NYC SB – I chickened out – I would be driving a car (one of his) that i’m unfamiliar with and at speeds which terrify me, whereas he’s driving a relatively simple car (BMW325i) – he claims swapping cars handicaps his skill by him driving a slower car – I’ve driven 140 on the PA turnpike because I missed my exit and had to drive 25 miles in one directiobn and then 25 back in 30 mins to catch a flight. I think if a cop pulled me over I would have lost my license then and there.

    Kit-Kat – there are sections of the autobahn with speed limits ALL of the time (a bit like our speed traps for local taxes) – it’s actually a myth that all of the autobahn is speed limit free.

  116. Mina says:

    TWELVE CUPS?! How are you able to sit & type? (Or are you standing at your desk? lol)

  117. I have been wondering myself. Maybe has something to with premium account???

  118. BabyKT says:

    I think someone already asked this, but since we’re sort of wearing this blog discussion out… How do you put a little square picture to the right of your posts?

  119. NYC SB says:

    google en gravatar

  120. NYC SB says:

    hahah Mina – thats the best way to make a guy like that disappear

    OC – too funny

    NYCSB – lay off the coffee its 4pm and you have had 12 cups (yup i talk to myself now)

  121. ROFL o dear it hurt to hold that one in. I don’t want to wake my son

  122. Mina says:

    Getting a second email address to have one person write to me takes more effort than me asking for her email address and writing her first.

  123. Mina
    I would get a E-mail address that was secondary this way you wouldnt have to worry about it! !

  124. Mina says:

    I think that’s happened to most, if not all, of us gals (probably by the same man, haha!)
    I wrote back something along the lines of “That’s it? Dont try to show off, I’ve seen better”
    Needless to say he did not find my comment to be very funny…

  125. NYC SB says:

    New – you can determine his age better based off a face picture 😉

  126. BabyKT says:

    I’m getting looks and I think someone just “shushed” me

  127. NYC the roads are enginnered way diffrent over there you CAN get up to some crazy speeds but this is because they move out he pass lane which is on the left there is NO sitting in it! the germans dot do other silly things like we do either while driving. DID you know their roads are enginered *the pitch and slope*so you do not get highway hypnosis?…

  128. BabyKT says:

    Mina – I’m sitting in a library and forcing myself not to laugh out loud at your comment. haha!

  129. NewTXSB says:

    BabyKT:

    LOL! That happened to me once so far…..he sent me nude pics just so I can see that he’s not a “old fat man” (his words!).

  130. Mina says:

    Kit Kat
    State is one thing, city is another. And obviously no one can see me but I prefer not to post my email address in a public forum :)

    BabyKT
    “Im not a cop.” that’s like something a loner looking to “score” at an afterhours club on a Tuesday evening would say.
    I cannot understand what would make men think it’s ok to send pictures like that. Neither the pictures nor the effort is appreciated, lol

  131. Flo

    that must have been fun, the fastest I have gone is 130+ and my car still wanted to go faster. I chickened out. Still have not maked my rx-8 out.

    I don’t have enough balls yet

  132. yes and the autobahn is sonomus*sp for its pile ups in fog!!
    little fact most americans dont know is that ther is a speed limit! and it is dependant upon road and weather conditions! YOU have to pay the POLITZIE right then an on the spot! if they site you.

  133. NYC SB says:

    Mine says “open negotiable”

    penis pics… yikes… some things should be only seen privately

  134. NYC SB says:

    Flo – I am wayyy to responsible for that… I think the fastest I have driven was 85… and thats a MAYBE lol

  135. BabyKT says:

    NYC SB – What does your profile say – Open?

    Flo rida – That’s insane. I’m glad to see you are alive : ) So, who won?

    PS. Chatting with two SDs right now

    One just asked me if I “party”. I said: “What do you mean by party?” He goes: “You know, everything… by the way, I’m not a cop.” I respond: “Well, I don’t do drugs, but I’m ok with drinks.” To which he says: “If you’d like to try anything, let me know, I’m ok with that.”
    Hahahah. But seriously, I don’t know if this is such a good start..

    Another SD just sent me 3 pictures of himself, including his penis. Sigh… what is my life coming to?

  136. mina kinda obvuious you are in texas! but we cannot see who you are,
    we aren’t here to judge

  137. NewTXSB says:

    simplesf at yaho

  138. Mina says:

    NewTXSB
    What’s your email address? I’ll write to you. I’m trying to remain as anonymous as possible and already feel a bit odd revealing (on of) my hometowns on the blog D:

  139. humm same time I posted too OC neat!!

  140. Flo Rida says:

    BabyKT – NYC SB – race for pink slips – ownership title of the car. Bear in mind a high speed sports car is a lethal weapon in the hands of the inexperienced (me) I’ve only driven on the autobahn at 140 miles per hour (top speed for my rental) in a straight line (not an oval with a wall). So driving at 200+ miles an hour is suicidal – especially as he’s done it lots of times – he was just testing me out to see how crazy I was (which is very by the way, but I’m not stupid). Alas this is one of many tests that I endured in the early days. That’s why my nickname for him is “Functional psychopath” and he changed it to “Barely functional psychopath”.

  141. pink slip hun. so if you win you own his car and visa versa

  142. pinks pink slips… the title!! but I am guessing!! thats my 5 cent bet!

  143. NYC SB says:

    BabyKT – lol im glad im not the only one not knowing what that means

  144. BabyKT says:

    Flo Rida – ok hahah that sounds crazy, but fun…! Now.. what’s a race for pinks?

  145. NYC SB says:

    what is racing for “pinks”

  146. NYC SB says:

    BabyKT – i think that each SD will give you the offer which he can afford regardless of your range… but thats just me… plus a lot of men in the 10k to 20k range in their profile make 300k a year… ummm how can you afford 10k per month with such income in that range (unless they are misstating it) ?

    • OCSugarbaby says:

      NYC SB is right! Watch the income level they state to try and gauge the level of allowance. However just because they make 1million, does not mean they are 20k daddies. Be flexible, but watch the info in the profile to see the mis-information, like income 300k and allowance 20k. Ya rite!

      Yes, NYC SB, that combo is rare. I feel very lucky that he found me out of a huge selection of SB’s!!!

  147. Flo Rida says:

    BabyKT – when I met my SD he challenged me to drive for “pinks” around a closed circuit – he would drive my BMW325i (fully paid for – not leased) and I could drive any of his 8+ sports cars (Lambo, Ferrari, Jag, Porsche – after that my feeble brain cells couldn’t absorb the information. I would of course waive accident rights etc if we crashed and if I crashed his car he could keep mine and vice versa. I said “what are you crazy” and he replied “yes some of the time”. He’s raced other people for pinks and also been in a high speed car crash, air bags deployed, broken bones, hospital etc – Boys with toys eh. Perhaps you can race for pinks and win :-)

  148. NYC SB says:

    OC – that combo is very rare… but it can happen if you dont compromise… i learned that lesson 😀

  149. BabyKT says:

    Sometimes I try to look at profiles from the perspective of SDs.. On one hand, if he were to see an attractive young woman, whose asking allowance was, say 10-20K/ 20K+, would he view her as more desirable and as somewhat of a challenge to pursue? On the other hand, Open – Negotiable would not limit a SB to a specific range and pot SDs could make higher offers in an attempt to win her over. Decisions, decisions… I really can’t edit my profile anymore though, I’ve been in pending approval status for a few days now

    NYC SB – Luuuuckyyy! :)

  150. NYC SB says:

    NewTXSB – mine is open negotiable… this is because after sd #1 i needed to focus on chemistry – something that was lacking (at least on my end) with him

    • OCSugarbaby says:

      My SD is HOT! I would gladly give him back half my allowance… LOL Oops I may have to retract that if he reads this!
      Yes, NYC SB: Chemistry + a healthy allowance + a strong man + amazing business sense = Muy Caliente SD

  151. BabyKT says:

    OCSugarbaby – I agree! While not every SD can afford 10-15K allowance, that would constitute real spoiling. I made a prioritized list of things to do when I find my perfect SD: 1) Pay for my next semester of school 2) Buy a car (my lease is ending in a few months) 3) Take 5K+ and go shoppingggg :)

  152. Flo Rida says:

    I think NYGent and my point is that an allowance of $40-50k per month + credit card with no expense limit + right to use cars, drivers, cooks, private jets when available + living accomodation + gifts + travel is unlikely to be reached on this website. I agree that $20k or slightly north of $20k can be reached on an income of $1 million or with assets but the above “package” won’t be found on this web site – challenge extended guys!

  153. NYC SB says:

    OC – that is spoiling indeed… except my conservative side wont let me spend any… so my debt is spoiled by it hahaha

    BabyKT – he approached me at the bar that I was at and started talking to me. I wouldnt give him my number at which point he said something like “i think you should give me your number as I dont regular date but sugar date and for you that would mean spoiling beyond belief” I was intrigued and ended up meeting with him again at which point he explained to me what sugar dating is. Prior to that I thought sugar dating meant going out to nice dinners and never having to worry about paying 😉 BOY WAS I WRONG!

  154. NewTXSB says:

    So on the “amount” in the profile, for an SB, is it recommend to leave it “Open-negotiable”??

  155. It would be nice to be messaged by a pot sd who isn’t expecting a cheap escort, or think they can buy you to do anything they want.

    So I will just have to be patient. The odds of even just speaking with a decent person via message have to be there.

  156. BabyKT says:

    NYC SB – How did you meet / bring up the sugar relationship with someone in real life? Or, as I’m sure this is the case, how did they?

  157. NYC SB says:

    NYGent – met a man in real life, he became my SD… when we met he had a profile on the site… my allowance was 20k a month plus gifts… this lasted for 4 months and it ended bc he wanted marriage… me not so much…

    In between the two SDs I have met maybe 3 or 4 men that would be able to support a 10 to 20k allowance but my chemistry with them was not there

    My current SD is also in the 20k range… well really its 5k each time I see him and a base of 5k each month regardless of whether or not I see him… he is not a member on the site however…

    So while finding an arrangement in this range of this site is possible it is rather rare and unusual…

  158. and I like a SD who responds EVEN when its not a Romantic query!!
    that was very thoughtful of you! He shall remain nameless!!

  159. Gemini29 says:

    Ok we need a new blog topic as of yesterday, this one is getting horrificly long to try to load all the comments.

    It could even be about arrangements amounts! Don’t care! But I think we’ve tromped this one into the ground. 😉

  160. NYGent says:

    Flo Rida: exactly my point. +20K arrangements flowing from this site don’t likely exist

    • OCSugarbaby says:

      NYGent: When I first joined I found a great deal of men stating 1k as their allowance budget. However some SB’s will find that attractive for an allowance offer. Just for the record. I prefer to stay in the 10-15k range. That is spoiling!!!

      • OCSugarbaby says:

        If you add in travel and adventures, that can far exceed 20k!

      • OCSugarbaby says:

        NewTXSB: I have always left mine open. You need to be flexible, yet know what you will be happy with. If you are not happy you will find your self always searching for a better SD. I am not saying this is something YOU would do, but it happens.

  161. NYGent says:

    Gemini I wouldn’t change your strategy. I personally would not be interested in a sexually driven, unsolicited message. If you are not interested in the kind of man who would go for that type of message (and sounds like you wouldn’t be), then just stay “on message”

  162. Flo Rida says:

    NYGent: The only people who can afford north of $20k per month are billionaires or slightly south of billionaires. These people meet their mistresses IRL and have NO need for a website – women just appear out of thin air. You won’t find those men on this web site – there is no need, the women come to them. Trust me there are many rich men who spend $1 million on their mistresses. Finally a mistress is very different from a SB. Ciao

  163. Gemini29 says:

    SouthernGent2 – Yeah I can imagine what kind of messages SDs get on this site. If a good percentage are escorts, and another good percentage are predatory SBs, then a SDs are getting doused with women who don’t mind peppering their initial message with sexual talk to get the guy “hooked”. That is not me at all, which means my first messages normally get ignored. What guy in his sane mind will choose the bubbly fun girl over the sexually-driven girl. Exactly.

    Still I don’t think its a bad idea to send a first message to the guy. I get the most responses if I comment on their picture…or a sport that we both enjoy. I would love to find a SD who enjoys the same sports I enjoy…. I would looooooooove to spend a weekend at Aspen or Vail in the lap of SD luxury. 😀

    At that is about as racy as you will ever hear me get 😉

  164. wow the ration is ten 2 one on here and I contact Pots if they donot contact me back ok fine! but more then likley you have to contact a guy on here or you will be here Waiting and waiting! till the mellinium changes!!

  165. NYGent says:

    SincereSD: I didn’t recommend against SBs sending messages first; just against SB’s sending futile messages that are wildly at odds with the SD’s profile. Of course it’s a matter of degree and if a profile is close or only marginally inconsistent with another, no harm in trying. It’s when the SD says “22-30” and “Atlanta area only” and gets messages from 48 y.o. from Utah that I say time is being wasted on both ends.

  166. VillaCypris *396153* says:

    SincereSD says:
    Finally the moral of my story is that I have found someone who is a great fit …. and you know what … she contacted me because she liked my profile. If she did not take the initiative, I would not have contacted her because she is outside my area.

    ———————-

    Congratulations! I’m very happy for you, you deserve to find someone great! 😀

    And thanks for making that point… it is exactly why I contact people….

  167. NYGent says:

    BabyKT: i think a blurred face is fine as a strategy if discretion is impt, but I would specify in the profile that you are happy to send a face photo(s) to anyone who asks, so they know you have confidence in it.

  168. SincereSD says:

    Koi says: I agree with SouthernGent. Men should initiate contact. The noly time I will send a message is when they have already sent me the initial favorite/wink/hotlist to show their interest, and even then I’d rather an actual email from them.

    Koi, see my post above. The odds are against you if you wait for mail from SD.

    SouthernGent2 says: About sb’s sending the first message, there is no nice way to say this, but the type of sb that I seek doesn’t have to send messages. Call me old fashioned, but the man should be initiating contact and interest, and this site should be no different.

    SG2 and NY Gent, sounds like you both are old fashioned and your advice may not be in the best interest of a SB looking for her prospective SD. Perhaps you could suggest alternative ways that SB’s like BabyKT and NewTXSB increase their chances of success … or would you be willing to accept responsibility for a missed opportunity because of your recommendation.

    Personally I like the modern age and I like being approached by woman. It’s too much work and angst to be always on the prowl.

  169. NYGent says:

    BabyK: 5-10 = good strategy.

  170. BabyKT says:

    I don’t have a face picture on my profile for discretion purposes, but I am more than willing to email it to any SD who contacts me. Right now my picture is just a body picture with no head, but I’m thinking about posting another one that just blurs out my face. (Maybe that’s why I haven’t been getting many emails)

  171. NewTXSB says:

    Flo Rida:
    LOL….meeting another more experienced SB IRL who can guide me would be amazing….. :)

  172. SouthernGent2 says:

    Gemini29 – there are some sb’s that think they can throw out hookerish innuendo. It doesn’t work with me. I’m totally turned off by one line messages, or “hey baby”, or come see me.

  173. NewTXSB says:

    Just to clarify my question:

    I’m not saying that SD’s should set up a 1st date without seeing pics. I’m referring to profiles that don’t have a full face pic….but the SBs are willing to privately e-mail them.

  174. NYGent says:

    BabyKT: I guess my point is that although you got some emails at the very low end, and some “offers” at the very high end, you don’t know how many SD’s in the mid-ranges were deterred from even contacting you bec. of your very high number. If you’re looking to negotiate, “OPen-negotiable” is better than +20K IMO.

    And all: i’ve yet to hear a true story of actual sustained payments at these upper levels.

  175. 1/2 Step Down says:

    To NewTXSB:

    a picture that is genuine is what will get a response from someone, not a picture that has been co-opted from somewhere on the net. Whether or not it includes a face shot sometimes can make a difference to some people, but a facial picture is usually given before a meet so having it sooner rather than later may only get a few extra responses. If one’s privacy is the overriding reason for discretion in a photo, err on the side of caution and gowithyour first instinct. After all, there are over 100k US SD’s and new ones are added every day. Someone will respond.

    To determine a genuine picture: there is an add-on for Firefox called TINEYE which scans the internet for the picture posted anywhere else. It is still in its infancy and it’s database is still small, but I have foud a many stolen pictures in profiles that were borderline real/fake scenarios.

  176. BabyKT says:

    PS. My profile now says 5-10K, which I think is reasonable.

  177. NYGent says:

    New Tex: I may be in the minority here but a facial pic, and preferably more than one (bec. one pic can be misleading) are very impt to me, to the point where without it (them) there is a real presumption against me contacting. But that may be because while many men are into other specific body types/parts, I’m a sucker for a pretty face. If based on a hidden or camoflouged face pic I think there might be promise, I might email with a request for photos so i can actually see them. But I never like that bec if she sends the photo(s) and i’m not interested, it’s kind of a slap in the face to her, or she might take it that way (what are you supposed to say, “sorry but now that I’ve actually seen you I’m not interested?” ouch). So it’s just much better for me if those face pix are up there from the get-go. In fact, rarely will I agree to an in person date with an SB whose face I’ve never seen. But as I say I may be a minority here.

  178. NC Gent says:

    NewTXSB — I think a lot of SDs pass by SB profiles that don’t have face pictures. My recent SB didn’t have any pictures on her profile, and we had a nice arrangement for about 4 mos. Higher odds with good, simple pictures — I love cell phone or mirror pics – can tell they aren’t fake.

  179. NYGent

    You have a point, I would also see those with too high of a request as greedy and unrealistic.

    I personally have open on mine, as everything always depend on circumstances.

    SouthernGent2

    Mmm, unless the profile sticks out and makes me say wow I don’t message as I believe that the male needs to take first contact.

    However I found another horse person on this site and I did introduce myself, As anyone who is a horse or car person I always give a hearty greeting. Love meeting kindred souls.

    And TLG whatever works for you. If you don’t like getting bombarded then go ahead and hide your profile.

  180. BabyKT says:

    NYGent – When I made my first profile on the site, I put 20K+ as preferred allowance, thinking I could always negotiate down. Surprisingly, that didn’t stop SDs looking to contribute 1-3K/month from emailing me (I remember being appalled lol). Finally, there was one married SD from Greenwich,CT who emailed me saying he could do 5K/meeting (20K/month). We agreed to meet in his office one day, but he canceled last minute. Either he was a fake or got cold feet, because despite his endless emails, complements on my beauty, and promises, we never did meet. He would send me emails asking why I would want to have an affair with a married man, and explain how complicated affairs can be. It was very strange, as he did email me and pursue me first..

  181. SincereSD says:

    BabyKT says: NC Gent – Thanks for your advice; if I upgrade, I’ll probably initiate contact with a few SDs just to get my money’s worth : )

    NewTXSB says: Gah….I don’t get that many SDs that contact me but there have been times I will msg. someone if I like their profile. Should I not do that?

    I say go for it ladies. Good things don’t always come those who wait.

    There are a ton of profiles on SA and it’s very easy to overlook your profile. I would recommend you be proactive and contact SD who may be a good fit. For example, I may not have contacted Lady_8 because she was just outside my age range but if she sent me an email, I would read her profile and respond positively if I felt she was a good fit.

    Personally I am very flattered when someone adds me to their favorites list or sends me an email. Being on SA can be a blow to your ego when you end out emails and don’t get many replies. I get a big boost when an SB goes out of her way to send me a note telling me I have a nice profile, personality, etc. even though she doesn’t fit my criteria.

    Also I know that when an SB contacts me, she is more serious than someone who casually responds to my email.

    Finally the moral of my story is that I have found someone who is a great fit …. and you know what … she contacted me because she liked my profile. If she did not take the initiative, I would not have contacted her because she is outside my area.

  182. NYGent says:

    Lone G: advantages of hidden: discretion in case a friend/business associate sees you (but of course what are they doing on there!). Avoids lots of emails from clearly inappropriate (for whatever reason) SBs.

    disad: it’s actually flattering to get a message from an attractive SB, including some who you might never have thought to message for one reason or another, and can actually lead somewhere. Rare, but happens.

  183. 1/2 Step Down says:

    re: NYGent and the mythological Super-sugar baby:

    there was one NY lady who had put in her profile 20k but contacted me and wanted to met up for 500/hr.

    There was a gorgeous, raven haired woman (also from NY) who contacted me as well and her profile was 10-20k, but when I told her that me level was beyond my POSTED 5-10k allotment, she countered that that was only a level she used to weed out the insincere men who would waste her time. So I don’t think these things are set in stone for either party.

    Except for maybe the one who is STILL looking for her Carlos Slim to come sweep her away.

    I think you will find these profiles more prevalent on the East and West coasts where, as has already been discussed, most of the SD’s with money (or so they claim) are listed.

  184. NewTXSB says:

    To SDs:
    How much of a difference does a picture make? As in if a SB doesn’t have front face pics up (obviously for discretion), are you less likely to contact them? What about a pic that’s taken from the side…doesn’t show the full face but gives you a general idea? Are you likely to ignore profile without full face pics?

  185. skip says:

    HAHAHa i have never actually heard someone you that term before
    i knowit will come in time

    it is just frustrating
    i guess it’s just being in a Fine Arts accadamy
    we never really meet new people except who is in the company or class
    so i thought this would be a great way to meet someone

    AND IT ISNT WORKING
    lol

  186. VillaCypris *396153* says:

    HA! Gemini….. that must be the issue with my messages as well… too courteous and well-thought-out.

    I message people first, because, given my “geographically undesireable location”, if I did not, I would probably NEVER hear from anyone….

  187. Gemini29 says:

    SouthernGent2- Hmmm maybe this explains why men don’t like my initial messages….too lady-like for them!

  188. The Lone Gunman says:

    SG2 and NYG:

    My profile is out there for anyone to gawk at, but I have considered hiding it for a bit.

    What do you see as the advantages/disadvantages of a hidden vs unhidden profile? What about hiding it and then resurfacing it later?

    TLG

  189. BabyKT says:

    Thank you everyone for great advice!

    NYC SB – 20 emails/ day? *droools*. Something must be done.

    As for traveling to the city from CT, I really don’t mind. I’ve finished a lot of books, thanks to Metro-North :)

  190. SouthernGent2 says:

    Photogirl – generally speaking, first messages from the sb’s are not always lady like.

  191. SouthernGent2 says:

    I hide my profile also NYGent. My experience is that girls write one line messages, or are sending an advertisement.

    Besides, I like to know that I can pursue some of these girls on the site and win out over some of the other sd’s hehe 😉

  192. The Lone Gunman says:

    Skip:

    As with many things in Life, one endures, innovates, adapts and overcomes.

    Hang in there–the right one is out there for you, I’m sure.

    Bet you never thought you’d hear that from a breeder, eh?

    TLG

  193. NYGent says:

    Here’s a provocative new topic: many, many SBs on this site (I’d estimate 20%) request allowance of $10-20K, and more than a few ask for over $20K. (some of the latter are obvious fakes, but still there seem to be quite a few pot legits at that level). And mind you this is all before extras of travel, shopping etc. so somebody asking 10-20K is really asking for maybe 200-300K a year. My question: is anyone aware of any SB actually receiving, and any SD actually paying, this kind of $ on a sustained basis? I have a suspicion it’s a bit like Bigfoot or the Loch Ness Monster — much fantasized about but doesn’t exist. Personally if I see +20K i just ignore, and at 10-20K I don’t pay too much attention either except for really unusual circumstances. Maybe some SBs put up those kind of numbers thinking they call always “negotiate down,” but I think it’s a flawed strategy since many or most SDs will flip right past. But hey, if there are people out there getting/paying those kind of $ more power to them. I’m just skeptical. And I say that as somebody in the 5-10K budget range which is not chump change.

  194. Flo Rida says:

    NewTXSB and Mina – you two should definitely hang out, meeting SDs IRL requires you hanging out at the places they hang out and being comfortable with the “scene” and social circle which does take some seed money, being known within a social circle and comfortable with money, art, fine dining, yatching at Kemah, second home in Vail etc. Perhaps Mina can save a soul and help you out – I’m always preaching about saving souls – haven’t succeeded yet though.

  195. NC Gent says:

    I feel your pain NYG! I recently unhid my profile, and I seem to be a magnet for the 50+ “SB” looking for a younger SD. I am pretty flexible on my age requirements, but I would like someone at least 5 years younger than me — I think “younger” is in the sugar definitions.

  196. photogirl says:

    I just wanted to chime in and say that although I appreciate the southern charm and upbringing in a gentleman I do not think it makes us any less of a woman to make 1st contact with someone who we find interesting and who we think may be worth getting to know.

  197. NYGent says:

    As I said on an earlier post, although I prefer to initiate contact (and have to on this site as I keep profile hidden for discretion purposes), I wouldn’t otherwise have a problem with an SB who messages first if the profiles seem compatible and not wildly contrary to each other. I just have found that when I say “NYC area only” and “22-36” I still get messages from women 45+ from Timbuktu, which is a waste of their time and mine.

  198. skip says:

    ok here is my vent
    i would love to be able to talk about if a SD offer was something i had to turn down

    BUT IT SEEMS EVER SD on this place its STRAIGHT or TAKEN!!!!
    ughhhhh

    what is a poor boy to do lol

  199. SouthernGent2 says:

    NewTXSB – I can assure you I am not trying to sound bad or cold hearted with my comments. My point once again is that the sd is the one that should initiate contact. I actually discussed this with a prospect I have lined up. She told me she would never send a man a message.

  200. SuthernExec says:

    NewTXSB/NYC SB – no, all SDs don’t feel that way – there may only be one that doesn’t but I know of at least one! I was reared in the south and consider myself a gentleman but I don’t have a problem if an SB contacts me first. For me, it has more to do with what is in the message than who initiates it.

  201. Koi says:

    Hi all!

    Just jumping into the convo for a min.

    I agree with SouthernGent. Men should initiate contact. The noly time I will send a message is when they have already sent me the initial favorite/wink/hotlist to show their interest, and even then I’d rather an actual email from them.

  202. NYC SB says:

    NewTXSB – I would hope not lol

  203. NewTXSB says:

    “About sb’s sending the first message, there is no nice way to say this, but the type of sb that I seek doesn’t have to send messages. Messages I receive from sb’s are generally from escort types (at least my guess), women that are much older than I find desirable, or of other races that I would not see in this situation”

    Wow…..is this a “typical” feeling among SDs?

  204. SouthernGent2 says:

    I go to lunch for an hour and fall so far behind with this many posters. About sb’s sending the first message, there is no nice way to say this, but the type of sb that I seek doesn’t have to send messages. Call me old fashioned, but the man should be initiating contact and interest, and this site should be no different.

    Messages I receive from sb’s are generally from escort types (at least my guess), women that are much older than I find desirable, or of other races that I would not see in this situation. I am nice to everyone that messages and will reply to let them know I am not interested. Just my experience here anyway.

  205. NewTXSB says:

    Mina:
    LOL….nothing to share yet. I don’t have a SD. I have a potential I’ve been chatting w/ for a little while. I’m not sure when we’ll meet. Is there a e-mail addy I can contact you at?

  206. NYC SB says:

    NYGent – of course everyone prefers a nice car picking them up… you are very thoughtful and considerate to offer that to them 😀

  207. NYGent says:

    NYC SB: you’re right public transport costs very little, but as a SD I (a) worry about an SB’s safety traveling alone by train or bus into or back from the city, esp. at night; and (b) if she gets all dolled up she might greatly prefer a comfortable car ride door to door rather than having to struggle with strap-hangers in close quarters in a semi-air conditioned vehicle. If I had a NJ SB and we met in daytime thats one thing, but for evenings out I’m a little leery of public transport, even though I recognize you SBs are often intrepid travelers with lots of spunk and independence!

  208. NYC SB says:

    NYGent – a ticket from north jersey… which would be hoboken area is $2 which is equivalent to subway fare… it shouldnt make that much of a difference in allowance budget… also anywhere else in nj your ticket is less than $10 each way… again… not a HUGE deal …

    KT – if you are 40 mins from NYC be prepared to meet them in NYC and deal with bus/train schedules… this sucks if they cancel last minute… but it can be done

  209. SuthernExec says:
    October 12, 2009 at 12:43 pm

    Sweety, I’m making some headway on that cloning project… I’ll keep you posted! 😀

    We are all waiting with baited breath. 😉 Decent gentlemen are hard to come by I have noticed.

  210. I agree Sweety, Seems like the decent ones are already taken. Or live no where near us. Take the nice gents who blog here for example.

    I have mailed a few, but I get reads and no replies.

    Seems like there are alot here who do ‘window shopping’ and no follow through.

  211. NYGent says:

    To KT and others: definitely ok for SBs to contact SDs, but you ought to read the profile closely. If it says, for example, only interested in NYC tri-state area, under 35, and budget 5-10, and you’re from Wyoming, 45 and budget +20K, then initiating contact is just a waste of time. But if the profiles seem compatible and you like what you see, by all means go for it.

    Also KT: if you’re only 40 minutes from NYC i’d list NYC, provided you’re able/willing to make the trek into the city to meet SDs. Nothing wrong with that, but if a SD sees you’re from NYC and it turns out you’re in North Jersey, you will have to factor into the arrangement the cost and manner of your transportation into the city. While i have sent private cars to Jersey to pick up SBs and drive them into Manhattan, it’s an added cost and hassle that needs to be agreed on.

  212. Sweety SB~AKA BG*395953 says:

    SE~ yes , please do! lol… 😀

    I am going to finish cleaning the yard for winter…… talk to you all soon!

  213. VillaCypris *396153* says:

    Good to know, Gemini… I’m sure we all experience at some time or another… but still…. frustrating!

  214. SuthernExec says:

    Sweety, I’m making some headway on that cloning project… I’ll keep you posted! 😀

  215. Sweety SB~AKA BG*395953 says:

    SE~ we just have to find the ones like you!!!

    Lady_8 ~ get you girl… it’s harder but as SE stated, there are some that like women in their 30s…. and I do mail SDs… whether they like it or not…. never know what can happen!

  216. Gemini29 says:

    Villa – Yeah that happens to me too. Sometimes I think they just loose interest in me or they loose interest in the whole concept due to their busy schedules. Aggravating yes because I’m hoping for a meeting and then they just slowly disappear.

    BabyKT – I would switch your location to NYC too. You aren’t that far away really, and you’ll probably garner more interest.

    I contact SDs sometimes, although I wish men were more proactive on this site and contacted SBs they were really interested in. And by this I mean honest initial emails not mass cloned messages.

    I had a question for the blog SDs but now I forgot what it was, d’oh!

  217. NYGent says:

    Kt: I have to agree with SouthernGent. I don’t see the value to a SB of premium membership, other than being able to do advanced search (which lets you pinpoint age, budget, city, etc — not a bad feature if you can afford it, but not essential). I don’t see the value in seeing who viewed you — if someone views without messaging it usually means they’re not interested, so it can be taken almost as a rejection — and we all get enough of those, right? On the other hand if somebody favorites you (which premium allows you to see), but never quite gets around to messaging you, it’s possible that by messaging them you may ignite some interest. So all in all there are some modest benefits but if you’re a struggling SB I personally wouldn’t shell out the extra dough.

  218. SuthernExec says:

    VC/NC Gent, I think some SBs and SDs are not ready for the personal contact. I think it all sounds new and exciting but then when it comes to taking some action, they get cold feet. It could be that they are making up a fantasy profile and don’t expect anyone to contact them or call them on it.

    NC Gent is right, it happens on both sides – probably happens more to SBs but it does happen to both.

  219. Mina says:

    NewTXSB says
    Congrats! So tell us about him, how long have you been chatting, all the good stuff (honestly, I feel like a bunch of gals sitting around at a slumber party dishing, lol)
    As far as men on the site, there are “slim pickins” in Houston but IRL is a different story…

  220. BabyKT says:

    Villa – I guess I’m off to change the profile to *NYC*… darn 24 hour approval period!

  221. NYC SB ?? Do they allow that. It would certainly help with exposure.

    Though I have gotten very little views in my profile. and nearly no messages.

    I wonder what it is that I am doing wrong.

  222. NYC SB says:

    Well i didnt have 3 profiles at the same time… i would just change my location every month or so

  223. NYC SB says:

    BabyKT – NJ/CT/NYC location makes very little differences as i have been told many SDs search the “tri state area” for pots… I even did an experiment where I had my profile stating PA as my location, NJ as location and NYC as location…. interest was about the same… surprisingly most promising SDs were not in NYC but in… brace yourself …PA!

  224. SuthernExec says:

    Ladies, I don’t make a connection between stated age and whether or not someone is a premium member or not. Being a premium member should be up to the individual. If you feel like it would generate more activity, go for it. If you’re happy with things as they are, why do it? It really has no bearing on whether I would contact an SB or not.

    Regarding the age thing – ladies in your 30s and 40s, don’t sweat it. You are awesome in so many ways – ways that can be imitated by the younger set. I am not being critical of the younger, but don’t think you’re handicapped simply due to your age. There may be fewer SDs that prefer SBs in your age range, but we’re out here. The quantity is not as high as those desiring the younger SB but I dare say the percentage of quality SDs is better for your age range. Just my observation. So keep your heads up and exude confidence – that gets us every time!

  225. Hi VC

    Well so I have gotten 1 message, yesterday, of being told that he and his wife love to spoil and pamper .

    Just replied with that you for compliment on my appearance and no thanks I don’t do thirds.

    So you have more experience then I do in that realm. but from dating lots of times, it is my experience that most guys like to play the field and act like they have money.

    back in the day they were all angry that I actually made more then they did, but I would always be the one to foot the bill as they kept forgetting their wallet. To say the least they never made it to the second date.

    Sweety~
    Actually it feels that if you are over 30 anything you are at a disadvantage. Though I do still get carded when I do anything. This year I will be 31 and it appears that they run the other way when they find out how old I am.

    Mmm I never considered that SD’s would not want to be emailed. I always thought if you were interested in anyone you should let them know.

  226. NYC SB says:

    here is my take – when i first joined SA i would get about 20 new emails per day… as time goes by and my profile is older and thus burried behind all the premium member profiles and newer standard profiles i no longer get the same attention… solution? create a brand new profile every other month or so 😉

    or at least this is what i will do once i am back to the search again

  227. VillaCypris *396153* says:

    BabyKT – if you’re only 40 minutes from NYC I would definitely switch your location to Manhattan. Most of the men I’ve talked to in CT and NJ have listed their location as NYC…. it just attracts more interest, from both SDs and SBs….

    NewTXSB – I contact SDs as well…

  228. NYC SB says:

    NewTXSB – I contact pot SDs… there is no right or wrong answer… if something catches your eye go for it. Had a 3 month arrangement with a man I initiated contact with it was the best SD experience ever… bc he was beyond hot 😉

  229. VillaCypris *396153* says:

    Thanks, NCgent.

    I know it happens to men as well…. same, I don’t understand that mentality at all…..

  230. NC Gent says:

    Just for the record, I am all for SBs contacting SDs!

    Hi VC — I wish I had an answer for the pooF! baby/daddy syndrome. Several times it has happened to me with some SBs. I just don’t think they were that interested from the beginning and/or when fantasy became reality, they couldn’t handle it. I suspect the same thing happens with SDs.

  231. BabyKT says:

    NC Gent – Thanks for your advice; if I upgrade, I’ll probably initiate contact with a few SDs just to get my money’s worth : )

    SouthernGent2 – That’s why I considered upgrading in the first place… I’m in my early 20’s, good profile (I think), and still very few messages. Maybe I should switch my location to NYC since I’m only 40 mins away from there. Another option is to post a new picture (I’ve beheaded myself in my current one to avoid “running into” people I know or (worse) into family friends.)

  232. Sweety SB~AKA BG*395953 says:

    NewTXSB ~ I mail SDs, I don’t know why they are saying we shouldn’t….

    Lady_8~ I try not to dwell on it either, but it feels like being over 35 is kind of a curse or something….. the age thing get to me …. sorry if I tend to get upset at it!

  233. VillaCypris *396153* says:

    Morning Lady_8 !

    Perhaps some of the SDs can answer this …..

    I’ve encountered more than a few men, with whom I exchange emails, photos, have good conversations, talk about meeting, details of an ‘arrangement’… and then….. they drop off the face of the earth!

    WHY????????

    And if these men are to be believed, they are very high profile men on wall street, say they cannot believe they found someone like me on here, etc.

    I fail to comprehend that mentality…. is it just a challenge/game to see how many women they can “con” into believing they are serious?

    or what.

    *hmmmm*

    Does this happen to any other ladies on here???

  234. NewTXSB says:

    So SBs shouldn’t contact SDs?

    Gah….I don’t get that many SDs that contact me but there have been times I will msg. someone if I like their profile. Should I not do that?

  235. oops didn’t highlight all I wrote in notepad before posting. LOL

    lisa

    I have seen that profile, I will add him to the danger list. Though they way he worded his profile it did send up a few flags.

    Sweety SB~AKA BG*395953

    Same here hun. It is very tight these days. Though I don’t think that upgrading the membership here for SB’s is really necessary.

    I try not to dwell when I used to be successful and didn’t worry about such things.

  236. Gemini29 says:

    Hi Villa and company!! :)

    Not much sugar activity on my end. I have two active pot SDs still running around but not any new ones. Oh well, that is what the new profile I’m trying to concoct will be for. O:-)

    Its probably a good thing I’m in a SD slump…I need to focus on work and getting everything I need done instead of focusing on new pot SDs :)

  237. Good Morning Ladies. (my time anyways 😉 )
    Doing a quick catchup over some morning coffee. ‘homemade frothed machiatto with nutella mmm’

    I suppose I shouldn’t mention that the weather is lovely here in vegas. Looks like we actually get a ‘fall’ this season, Yeah.

    ~~~
    Flo Rida~ “Finally I do not have experience of fakery as I met my sole SD IRL, BUT SD has CIA friends who have given me a 1st class education in espionage techniques, including proof of life (above). Yes my brain is full of stuff that shouldn’t be there. Hope this helps.”

    Awesome :) That is some valuable information. And will help you to keep yourself safer in these unstable times. But I just had to chime in. But that information certainly makes you wiser and smarter.

    ~~~
    NYGent~

    I have never even thought of using a picture of some hotter who looks the same type of you. Very deceptive. And I agree with the other ladies as well, you handled that situation very well. There is no need for confrontation in most cases unless she made a serious issue of it.

    I personally have used on other sites where I get unwanted attention an old picture where I am in competition. The photo is me riding my horse Azja, and so far in the distance that you can’t ‘see’ really exactly what I look like. But is still an honest picture of myself. Helped weed out the pricks.

    ~~~
    SincereSD~ “Suppose I tell you I used to race cars for a hobby.”

    I don’t know about Kit-Kat*367987* But that certainly gets my attention.
    I have only been to a class for professional racing, but adore anything to do with cars. Though much more interested in corners. I was raised in a car family, and the true metal of a driver is to win with skill because you are the better driver, but rely on your cars engine while you do almost nothing.

    And thank you, I have been told that I need to remove him from my profile. He is a part of my life, and maybe I am just overly sensative as I am a new mom, and he is my first. But if I am with anyone then they have to know what they are getting into. I am not opposed to a babysitter, as taking a break from always being needed is refreshing.

    ~’he asked me if I was staying for a sleepover’
    LOL yeah that would have been a very embarrassing moment.
    I am looking forward and dreading when my son finally starts talking in whole sentences.

    AtlNicole*389079*

    Morning hun. If you need any help my email is cflamelady8 and it is through aim.

  238. NC Gent says:

    I am not advocating an SB become premium by any means. As I said, I don’t think it is a deal breaker. Personally, sometimes I like getting a message from an SB — cuts down a level of doubt for me. At the same time, of the SBs that have made the initial contact with me, I have ended up meeting three of them in person, but no arrangement came of it. Nothing ventured, nothing gained I guess KT!

  239. VillaCypris *396153* says:

    Have fun Lisa!

    Hi BG and Gemini and SG2 and Flo RIda!

  240. Sweety SB~AKA BG*395953 says:

    Hey VC~ having fun in the snow? oh god it’s coming this way… brrrrrr!

  241. Gemini29 says:

    Good luck braving the rain in Txs Lisa! Ohh and pink trench coats are so cute!

  242. Sweety SB~AKA BG*395953 says:

    SG2~ are you saying that woman over 30 should be premium? and not to write to SDs?

  243. lisa says:

    I just found my cute short pink trenchcoat on the back rack of my closet, forgot I had it. It matches perfectly with the outfit i’m wearing today. I’m going to try to venture out in a couple minutes. Hopefully the rain will continue to be light.

  244. Gemini29 says:

    Morning sugars, yes fall is definitely here, darn chilly in my neck of the woods! Brrrrr.

    I hope this winter we actually get snow, last winter it was just bone chilling cold with none of the white and fluffy stuff. :(

  245. SouthernGent2 says:

    BabyKT and NewTXsb – Personal opinion is that a sb has no real reason to be premium (not trying to hurt SA business by saying that). If you both are in your 20’s, then you should be getting plenty of interest.

    Also, I don’t see the need for a sb to do the initial message writing. I can say with 100% certainty that I have never met a sb on here that started with the first message.

  246. Flo Rida says:

    SD’s – don’t complain about NY prices – London and Tokyo restaurants are even more highly priced.

    NewTXSB – I sent you a revised list of restaurants after I called my H contacts – it should pass Mina’s test. You have email. Cheerio

  247. lisa says:

    Thanks villa i’ll take cool “dry” air

    looks like the rain is starting up again :( I wish it could stop raining for a few minutes so I could get to the busstop, get the bus and get in the mall.

  248. VillaCypris *396153* says:

    I’ll take a photo and send it to you 😀

  249. NYC SB says:

    I like snow… as long as I can stay home and watch it fall… so peaceful

  250. VillaCypris *396153* says:

    Don’t wait too long, BabyKT, or you might lose the opportunity for those first dates! I’d go ahead and schedule them…. i’m sure your hair looks fantastic as it is :)

  251. VillaCypris *396153* says:

    Lisa – okay. I’ll just send you and newTXSB some cool DRY air….. no snow.

  252. lisa says:

    We had snow here at Christmas 2004, it was ok but please don’t send me any Villa.

  253. BabyKT says:

    I have a few pot SDs who are waiting to hear from me to schedule our first date and I can’t get back to them, because I can’t reach my hair person and ask her to do my highlights lol. I wanted to look extra pretty on these first dates… grrrr where is she?

  254. VillaCypris *396153* says:

    NYC SB – yes… SNOW! I don’t ever recall it snowing THIS early in the year… it’s beautiful, but will probably be melted by tomorrow. I think it’s going to be 60 this weekend :)

  255. lisa says:

    Looks like it’s stopping , maybe i’ll make the 11:12 bus, if it doesn’t start raining again.

  256. lisa says:

    I’m have no cash on me right now, so I can’t take a cab and besides its too much money to waste. My parents are not answering their phone so they might not even show up . And the cabs take forever here too, it’s not like other large cities where you see taxis everywhere, you’ve got to call and wait here. Everytime i’ve used a taxi, it seems i’ve waited at least 30 minutes.

    I’m hoping it will stop around the bus schedule so I can get out. Probably is getting splashed at the lousy bus stop. I remember years ago this entire neighborhood used to look like a lake after a rain, it doesn’t flood as bad but still there is plenty of water to splash people on the sidewalks when the cars go by. I remember being at busstop awhile back and a car raced by really fast, like they were delibertly trying to splash us, and the water came towards us and there was a woman with a baby in a stroller and the baby was soaked. Houston has alot of idiot drivers.

  257. NYC SB says:

    VC – SNOW????? I am not ready for that…

  258. VillaCypris *396153* says:

    SugaCaneBby says:
    October 12, 2009 at 1:54 am

    VC: You make me jealous living in the Twin Cities. Working on making it my future home base. It’s been my dream to live there ever since I decided on my college major my sophomore year of HS. *sigh* Soon…
    —————————-

    SugaCane – very cool! If it’s your dream to live here, I certainly hope it comes true! I was born and grew up here, til I went to college in VA at 18. It is a great place to live. I’m curious as to what college major prompted your decision for MSP??

  259. NYC SB says:

    NC – you are soo right… the differences in prices at restaurants in NYC vs NJ (which is like 10 minutes away) are astounding… take the Olive Garden for example… average price in nj $12-15 average price in NYC $20-25 … blah… thus I do my grocery shopping in NJ 😀

    Hi all – it is sooo gloomy here today and rather cold… the fall is here… my SD is taking me out tomorrow to celebrate my surviving another quarter … im excited to see him

  260. VillaCypris *396153* says:

    Good morning all!

    It is SNOWING in Minneapolis!!!!! Like a winter wonderland…. light fluffy flakes dropping gently from the sky…. it’s like Christmas almost!

    Sending some snow to Houston….. 😉

  261. Sweety SB~AKA BG*395953 says:

    Lisa~ i’ sorry sweetie! Can’t you take a cab or something? maybe worth it to go spend time with you parents?

  262. lisa says:

    Lisa~ why can’t you go out in the rain

    I don’t have a car so I have to take the bus and its a block to the bustop
    and the cars will splash me at the bustop and then its another long walk from the busstop to the mall entrance. Houston floods in minutes too

  263. lisa says:

    it looks like my day off is ruined. I put on my new outfit and was looking forward to going down to Memorial city mall to have coffee and lunch wiht my parents but its raining and my street floods in minutes so if I get out i’m going to get splashed by cars, not to mention trying to get though that construction mess by the mall. You take you life in your hands when you try to cross the street there as the drivers ignore the pedestrian signal.

  264. Sweety SB~AKA BG*395953 says:

    1/2 Step Down~ good point! sorry i missed ya!!!! talk soon

    VC~ yeah the Vikings were good, Giants too…

    Lisa~ why can’t you go out in the rain?

  265. BabyKT says:

    NC Gent – Hmm.. now I’m definitely considering it..

    So I would get to see who viewed me, favorited me, and be able to do advanced search. What do SDs think about SBs contacting them? I think I’ve taken an old-fashioned approach to this sugar dating thing, and haven’t messaged a single guy without him messaging me first. *feels like a total newbie*

  266. NewTXSB says:

    Lisa:
    My 1st “date” with my fav. potential SD is this afternoon! This weather is awful! :( :( :( *looks out the window in horror*

    My profile isn’t premium. I can afford the $20 but I don’t see any reason to. I can e-mail SDs and receive e-mails and view their profiles. That’s all I need. I don’t care who added me as “fav” or who viewed my profile etc. None of that matters if they don’t actually contact me.

  267. photogirl says:

    NC Gent – Good idea… you, TLG and Realistic can all get together and treat the SB’s to a lovely day out. I recall TexasSD posting as well. Not sure what part of TX he is in though.

  268. lisa says:

    Darn, it just started pouring, looks like another one my days off wasted stuck at home :( the weekend was beautiful when I was stuck at work but like friday, another day off ruined. I was supposed to meet my parents at starbucks today too :(

  269. Sweety SB~AKA BG*395953 says:

    NC ~ maybe that’s why I’m only getting mail from overseas lol… I might think about it…. not sure I can pay that right now, kinda sad isn’t it? ahh well, I’m sure I’ll find someone …. at some point.
    How have you been?

  270. NC Gent says:

    Hi BG — I do think that premium SBs are likely to be “a little more serious” about it. It certainly weeds out the “just looking” type, which is the basis for my statement. It isn’t a deal killer by any means, but I do think if you plunk down even $20 you are more serious about it.

  271. NewTXSB says:

    NC Gent:
    I’ve never been to NYC but yes, from what I hear it’s a totally different world. As for Dallas SD’s, I’ve met 1 SD from Dallas but he didn’t seem that interested in being an SD….I got the feeling he was mainly looking for someone to go out with (dinner, trips etc) and that’s not what I’m looking for. I exchanged e-mails w/ 1 other Dallas “SD” but he dissappeared.

    Hmm….perhaps I should just pack up and move to NYC. :)

  272. lisa says:

    It seems there are more sds in Dallas than in Houston, but the Dallas sds are not willing to travel to Houston from what i’ve found.

    NewTXSB I haven’t been outside yet but will be leaving soon and I do spend alot of time in the humidity walking to and from the busstops. Looks very gloomy out right now.

  273. NC Gent says:

    Hi NYC SB — I guess that is about right — last December I took a potential SB to dinner and my bill was about $500 — it was a nice Italian place in Manhattan. The bill would have been about $150 in the Raleigh area.

  274. Sweety SB~AKA BG*395953 says:

    NewTXSB~ Have a good lunch date, girl! tell us all about it!!! 😀

    NYC SB~ how are you this cold and sunny day? I am off it’s a holiday here today….

  275. Sweety SB~AKA BG*395953 says:

    Hello Sugars!!!

    NC~ you really think that paying members are more serious??? I think not! It really depends on the person, I think. For SDs it might be different because you cannot mail SBs if your a non paying member…
    I don’t have a premium account, right now, I can’t afford it. I know it’s only 20$ or something, but I have bills that take precedent over a membership!

    Hi Lisa~ enjoying your day off? Here it’s a holiday YAY!

  276. NYC SB says:

    NC Gent – 1k buys you 2 dinners 😀

  277. NC Gent says:

    p.s. I go to Houston about 6 times a year and the weather ughhhhhhhhh maybe if I hit the beach at Galveston I would like it better.

  278. NC Gent says:

    I hear you NewTXSB — there are a lot of SBs in the NYC area, and there must be a lot of SDs in the NYC area. I messaged a few SBs in NYC but had very little response. Also, I think $1000 almost buys you dinner in NYC — that is a whole different financial world. I do see quite a bit of SBs in Dallas though… are there many SDs there?

    BabyKT — you can do advanced searches and also see who added you as a favorite and/or viewed your profile. As an SD, I search both premium and standard SB profiles, but I do find that premium account SBs are likely to be a little more serious about finding an SD IMHO.

  279. NewTXSB says:

    Lisa:
    It’s the humidity that irks me….right now it’s at 100%. I just saw my hair and OMG…. :( :( :(

  280. lisa says:

    NewTXSB beware of one with the heading “i’m looking for a pirncess to spoil” He will probably contact you if he already hasn’t . He’s a pervert and even posted on the blog a nasty message one day that had to be deleted. He has contacted me several times.

  281. BabyKT says:

    Good morning everyone!

    Connecticut experienced a weather change today (not for the better).. and I got a hot chocolate instead of coffee.

    What happens when a SB upgrades her account to premium? Anyone think its worth it?

  282. NewTXSB says:

    NC Gent:
    LOL…..the few SD’s I’ve met here in Htown were primarily looking for escortish type relationships. With 1 guy, we just didn’t have anything in common. But yea, NY and LA I guess has the most SD’s from what I see from browsing the profiles.

  283. lisa says:

    I have never met anyone that was in the oil industry in all the 23 years I’ve lived here. And of course I have never been anywhere near the ship channel. That’s way out there somewhere. Houston is so spread out, I only know my neighborhood, the Galleria area, and a little of downtown although I have been downtown in almost a year.

  284. NC Gent says:

    They still do quite a bit of refining there. I also have some huge chemical clients in the area. The economy seemed a little less stricken when I was there in July, but I only saw the ship channel area.

  285. lisa says:

    NC Gent The oil industry dried up in the mid 80’s I believe.

  286. NC Gent says:

    Attention all Houston SBs Next time I am in Houston I will take you all out to dinner! I can pretend I am Hugh Hefner for an evening lol I wonder why there is a shortage of Houston SDs — there has to be some serious oil money there!

  287. lisa says:

    Good morning everyone
    NewTXSB, the weather is great, but don’t worry it’s supposed to be back in the 80’s again. I keep doped up on allergy pills when I can. Luckily i’m of today so I can take one during the day.

    Hope your date goes well. I have found very few Houston sds, met only 4 in the last year.

  288. NewTXSB says:

    “Mina: NewTXSB One of my former SDs is a Houstonian! How is your search going?”

    So far blah….but I’m meeting someone this afternoon and I think this may work out. I really like him so far. *giggles like a 13 year old* But if for some reaseon this falls through, then I would definately appreciate any help.

    On a side note, my allergies are not liking this weather change….my eyes are RED! I look like I came to work high…. :(

  289. NYC SB says:

    LurkerSB – just because a man is worth a set amount it doesnt mean that he will provide you with a higher allowance… meet him… see what he says and take it from there… I had a man claiming to make more than 1m a year offer me 2k… so while your curiosity to figure out what you are working with is within reason it really does not provide you with any basis for allowance… if he is generous he will show it…

  290. NC Gent says:

    Good morning all. What a busy afternoon and night it was on the blog.

    Photogirl — no it doesn’t freak me out that if the pot. SB mentions she has children. It does rule them out for me because it usually makes it difficult for them to travel. I think that is info is best left at a later time, but I don’t have strong feelings on it.

    NY Gent — I have had two meetings in which the pics I received were either fake or not recent. In once case, the woman had sent me pics that kind of looked like her, but they weren’t her, but she was still extremely attractive. I was puzzled by it, but never really pressed the issue because the chemistry wasn’t there. In another case, the woman sent pics that were about 5 years old and about 50 pounds ago. When we met, I walked by her about 4 times in the restaurant until I finally narrowed it down to her… awkward moment to say the least. After initial greetings, small talk, etc I asked her about it. She said she was hoping I wouldn’t be that shallow and see her for who she was inside and then pointed out that we got along well via email and phone. I asked her why did she want to see my pictures and why did she care what I looked like. Also, I explained that I work hard to keep myself reasonably fit, and I am looking for someone with the same values. I also pointed out that I was looking for more than a friend, and I want to be intimate with someone that I am attracted to both physically and emotionally. She countered that I didn’t have to give her an allowance and it could be platonic. It wasn’t a pleasant conversation, and ended with her saying something dismissive like — maybe I should just become a lesbian. Having learned my lesson, I am going to head down your path of not saying anything next time :)

  291. photogirl says:

    Six o’clock already
    I was just in the middle of a dream
    I was kissin’ Valentino
    By a crystal blue Italian stream
    But I can’t be late
    ‘Cause then I guess I just won’t get paid
    These are the days
    When you wish your bed was already made

    It’s just another manic Monday
    I wish it was Sunday
    ‘Cause that’s my funday
    My I don’t have to runday
    It’s just another manic Monday

    Thanks TLG :)

  292. The Lone Gunman says:

    It’s a Manic Monday!

    How did everyone spend their weekend?

    Did your area experience big changes in weather like we did in Texas?

    With Fall here, will you be falling into an arrangement?

    TLG

  293. SugaCaneBby says:

    Talk about a tempting offer…lol. I might bite the bullet and let curiosity take me over.

  294. AtlNicole*389079* says:

    Goodnight. I am going to try to catch some shut-eye as well.

    Hope everyone has a great monday!

  295. SugaCaneBby says:

    VC: You make me jealous living in the Twin Cities. Working on making it my future home base. It’s been my dream to live there ever since I decided on my college major my sophomore year of HS. *sigh* Soon…

    Frustrated at the moment. I truly despise sugar dating sites that make no mention of membership fees until you actually have to do something vital to the site like oh, I dunno…COMMUNICATE WITH OTHER MEMBERS!!! Oy vey. I have a message from a nice gentleman in Australia waiting in my inbox and I’m really torn between coughing up the dough it’ll take just so that I can read it. :( Bummer. I know I should stick to this place but things are kinda slow and I don’t want to put all my eggs in one basket.

  296. VillaCypris *396153* says:

    *they fare…. NYC vs LA….

  297. VillaCypris *396153* says:

    That was a good game Friday night… Yankees deserved to win, as the Twins just made too many mistakes.

    We’ll see how the fare against LA, as the two centers of the universe go into combat.

    Off to sleep. ciao!

  298. AtlNicole*389079* says:

    Ah..I get it. Yankees is not a very aggressive name either, but they have enough cash to call themselves the pink puppies and still kick butt. I have never been able to watch much baseball, but my date friday night was into the game, so I learned a little bit.

  299. VillaCypris *396153* says:

    True AtlNicole – doesn’t quite have the same aggressive ring to it as the VIKINGS….

  300. 1/2 Step Down says:

    The Twin Cities – Minneapolis-Saint Paul

  301. AtlNicole*389079* says:

    What on earth are the twins named for anyway? I was just talking about this with my pot a couple days ago. I thought it was a dumb name (no offense). I would give a sports team a more aggressive name than that.

  302. VillaCypris *396153* says:

    Good night. x

  303. VillaCypris *396153* says:

    Yes…. HA!

    That is why I did not put quotes around THE TWINS…. one of MN players hit a foul ball which bounced up and nailed HIS “twins”…. OUCH!!

  304. 1/2 Step Down says:

    VC, you know on this board “the twins” take on a whole different meaning than intended.

    :)

  305. VillaCypris *396153* says:

    1/2 step – alas, the twins did not….. :(

  306. LurkingSB says:

    Oh and thanks 1/2 Step too!

  307. VillaCypris *396153* says:

    Mina! Good to “see” you again! :)

    Hello Liv, Atlnicole and Flo Rida…

    SincereSD said:
    I’m going to need a sugar mama if I take you and Villa to Shanghai next year. 😉
    —–
    That would be cool! The next race is coming up in Abu Dhabi at the end of this month. I really wish I was going to that!

    SincereSD said:
    Always wanted to go to MC to see a race! The only thing more exciting than watching a F1 race is driving a racecar and the rush of stalking someone to setup for that perfect pass.
    —————–
    Definitely recommend Monaco…. they start setting up for the race in late march… the grand stands, the fencing along the roads… it’s a beautiful location, not just for the race, but for all the other delectable pursuits on offer.
    Haven’t been in a race car, my closest experience to that was in an F430 going 250mph on the A8 to Cannes. Adrenalin!!!!

    Ahh yes…. NM… I would venture to say he’s in lurk land… and you’re right, he would’ve keep me naked in the back ground tent on East Egg for months at a time…. hhhahahahahhah….

  308. LurkingSB says:

    Thanks Atl and Mina. Allowance not set yet. Just doing a little homework. :)

  309. VillaCypris *396153* says:

    Mina! Good to “see” you again! :)

    Hello Liv, Atlnicole and Flo Rida…

    SincereSD said:
    I’m going to need a sugar mama if I take you and Villa to Shanghai next year. 😉
    —–
    That would be cool! The next race is coming up in Abu Dhabi at the end of this month. I really wish I was going to that!

    SincereSD said:
    Always wanted to go to MC to see a race! The only thing more exciting than watching a F1 race is driving a racecar and the rush of stalking someone to setup for that perfect pass.
    —————–
    Definitely recommend Monaco…. they start setting up for the race in late march… the grand stands, the fencing along the roads… it’s a beautiful location, not just for the race, but for all the other delectable pursuits on offer.
    Haven’t been in a race car, my closest experience to that was in an F430 going 250mph on the A8 to Cannes. Adrenalin!!!!

    Ahh yes…. nitemareSD… I would venture to see he in lurk land… and you’re right, he would’ve keep me naked in the back ground tent on East Egg for months at a time…. hhhahahahahhah….

  310. VillaCypris *396153* says:

    THanks 1/2 step down 😀 first 5-0 start in six years!!

  311. 1/2 Step Down says:

    Manta and D&B are two ways to check out privately held companies. But it ain’t free. You have to pay for the info.

  312. AtlNicole*389079* says:

    I really wish this thing had spell check. Every time I forget to re-read my posts they look crazy.

  313. 1/2 Step Down says:

    D&B

  314. Mina says:

    LurkingSB
    Has an allowance already been established or are you trying to gauge what you should ask for?

  315. AtlNicole*389079* says:

    Lurking SB – If I can remember from my Business classes, any publicly traded company’s net worth is available to the public. I believe that publicly traded companies also have to show the income for execs, but I am not positive about that. Google is a good resource if it is a mojor company. If not, you can use Yahoo finance to look up the balance sheet for the company you are searching for. Subtract liabilities from assets and you should have a basic net worth.

    It has been a few years since I switched majors, so others feel free to correct me if i got anything wrong.

    I have no idea about privately owned companies. I don’t think that they have to report their earnings to anyone but the IRS.

  316. LurkingSB says:

    Haha, Mina. Yes, identity has been verified! Now I need to know what they are working with.

  317. 1/2 Step Down says:

    ev’ning all (or who’s ever left).

    All these stories of people not living up to their own hype. Question:

    How much info do you want to know about the other person before you meet them? It has been said (and suggested) that SD’s provide some form of info for verification prior to initial meeting so that websites can be checked or info can be Googled, etc. But how much are you willing to give to someone who you may not see again. After all, trust is something that should be earned not given away freely.

    Many SD’s are married and have quite a bit to lose if something were to go awry with meeting a pot. From a SB’s perspective, there is always the concern for safety and a need to not put themselves in a situation that could be disadvantageous or outright dangerous to themselves. With the inaccuracies mentioned in the above postings, it got me thinking to how I sometimes approached a new situation (due to circumstances, I am lurker nowadays rather than a participant, but that does not negate my interest or stop me from reading thru the blogs). For an initial meet and greet, which I assume should be held in a VERY open and public place so that neither party feels threatened, is it necessary to give up everything about yourself until you have had the chance to at least meet someone and decide whether or not you want to move forward? In my personal introductions, there was plenty of personal info not divulged until I felt that the person who had this info was not so much a stranger anymore. I would provide an picture upon contact (like most SD’s I had none in my profile for discretion) and detail what I did for a living w/o actually revealing the name of my company. A phone number was given, but like Flo Rida’s approach to privacy, it was a throwaway that was used for the purpose of the meet (and to not have phone numbers show up on a cell phone that may cause question). I would not even use my full name until I met and wanted to pursue this further, at which point a business card is freely given which provides more than enough info to check my story.

    There’s quite a bit of uneasiness about people not being all that they can be, but is anyone willing (or even foolish enough in this day and age) to provide the necessary info that some here want before you know whether or not there’s a chance? How much are you willing to offer of yourself to a complete electronic stranger that may not be in your best interest? Something that could come back and bite you in the butt? Remember the DuPont case? Curious as to when you feel an ease to share with a stranger from this site or if it is a prerequisite before “the date”.

    (aside to VC: at least the Vikings won and are still undefeated.)

  318. Mina says:

    Not YOU specifically, but a general you…
    I’m sure you know that but I wanted to clarify since I came off as sounding terribly bitchy!

  319. Mina says:

    LurkingSB
    You mean after you verify his identity, right? 😉

    NewTXSB
    Agreed! It’s so weird to censor yourself when talking to a friend, in any capacity. One of my previous SD (who remains a great friend and mentor) knows all of the intimate details of my life and I know his. It’s nice to be able to share things with someone who both listens and cares, to connect on not just a physical level, but emotional as well. Because if you dont enjoy an SD’s company but get an allowance anyway… Well, I think we know what kind of person that makes you, lol.

  320. NewTXSB says:

    “Mina: I’ve known a few things about my previous SD’s private lives (and even that of my current SD) but its just through talking as two friends would. Things like “[wife] and I went to a charity dinner” or hearing about their children doesnt bother me, it’s honest, intimate and shows trust”

    I agree. I’ve never had an SD before BUT if a if a SD/SB relationship is truly based on trust and a deep emotional connection, I don’t see how that’s possible if the people don’t discuss their daily lives. If/When I do get a SD, I want to be able to share details about my life….just as I hope he would share details about his daily life. I don’t want him to have to edit his words/thoughts when we’re together…..just as I don’t want to. The conversation/thoughts should just flow….

  321. LurkingSB says:

    Hi all!

    Other than Google, does anyone know how to verify someones net worth? Or the worth of their company? Thank you!

  322. VillaCypris *396153* says:

    Mina! Good to “see” you again! :)

    Hello Liv, Atlnicole and Flo Rida…

    SincereSD said:
    I’m going to need a sugar mama if I take you and Villa to Shanghai next year. 😉
    —–
    That would be cool! The next race is coming up in Abu Dhabi at the end of this month. I really wish I was going to that!

    SincereSD said:
    Always wanted to go to MC to see a race! The only thing more exciting than watching a F1 race is driving a racecar and the rush of stalking someone to setup for that perfect pass.
    —————–
    Definitely recommend Monaco…. they start setting up for the race in late march… the grand stands, the fencing along the roads… it’s a beautiful location, not just for the race, but for all the other delectable pursuits on offer.
    Haven’t been in a race car, my closest experience to that was in an F430 going 250mph on the A8 to Cannes. Adrenalin!!!!

    Ahh yes…. nitemareSD… I would venture to see he in lurk land… and you’re right, he would’ve keep me naked in the back ground tent on East Egg for months at a time…. hhhahahahahhah….

  323. AtlNicole*389079* says:

    Flo Rida – I did go to Taste of Atlanta, but since it was my first time I have nothing to compare it to. My friends and i had fun though. we cant afford to eat fine dining on our own budgets.

  324. Mina says:

    Flo Rida
    You could say I’m a part time resident :)
    I’ve been spending loads of time in NYC and Miami lately, my homes away from home

  325. Mina says:

    AltNicole
    Goodness, don’t even joke about your father having a SB. My friend’s father had an SB some years ago (I cant even remember how she found out) but it was totally shocked when she told me; this was the same man that played hide and go seek with us when we were in grade school!

    Liv
    I hear you on that, having every aspect of life run together can be a bit much. I’ve known a few things about my previous SD’s private lives (and even that of my current SD) but its just through talking as two friends would. Things like “[wife] and I went to a charity dinner” or hearing about their children doesnt bother me, it’s honest, intimate and shows trust.

  326. Flo Rida says:

    Mina – do you live in Houston? You’re right about restaurants changing – in NY Lever House closed & I liked that place, in Atlanta Trois & Ritz Carlton Buckhead closed – fine dining is struggling – I was there when business was booming. I still have friends there and they can edit the list (i have not reached out to them yet – equally can you edit it and post here or post to me and i’ll get it to NewTXSB) it just takes up so much space.

    AtlNicole – did you go to Taste of Atlanta – I was disappointed. In terms of your matchmaker arrangement you should probably ask pot SD what type of women he’s attracted to BUT I and others here do warn you that it’s a thankless and time consuming task. Also Savannah is near or in South Carolina and Hilton Head and is near northern florida and also eastern georgia – so you have other geographic possibilities. Btw my Atl restaurant info is much more current than my Houston one.

    Nitey nite all

  327. Liv. says:

    Atl and Mina:

    Wow. I completely agree. I am the youngest (and most spoiled, haha) of three daughters, and both of my parents can be quite the typical southern conservatives. My dad is very well known throughout the south, and particularly in my home city. Meeting men from there, can be very stick. My last name is unique and very well-known. That’s why I am not quite sure that I could ever have an SD that is from there. We would have too many connections and mutual acquaintences even if they didn’t know my father or the family name.

    AWKWARD!

    For me, I definitely need to have things in common with an SD, but there needs to be a line of disctinction between our two lives and the friend/family circles we run in.

  328. AtlNicole*389079* says:

    Mina – I am lucky that my parents live in a town about an hour from Atlanta itself. My dad doesn’t even work here. He flys to NYC and Dallas every week for work. HaHa, for all I know, he has his own SB in one of those cities. That would be weird…

  329. AtlNicole*389079* says:

    Suga – I don’t even want to spend too long imagining my father’s reaction. My mom is not so conservative, and might not mind, once she had time to come to terms with it, but my dad would need to be locked up. I am the only girl in my family (6 brothers/half brothers). I have always been the princess in their eyes. Now I am just a princess for someone else as well :)

  330. Mina says:

    AltNicole
    I’ve met a few men that know my father… Luckily I look just like my mother so they didnt put two and two together, haha.
    Does she know how you know him?

  331. Sweety SB~AKA BG*395953 says:

    Well good night sugars!

    AltNicole~ i’m sure SBs from FL will be in contact with you for the SD!!! 😉

    Night lurkers, ladies and gents!!!

  332. AtlNicole*389079* says:

    My bestie knows that I know this man, just because I sent her his info before I went to his house for the first time. I never told her anything private about my relationship with him though. He is not interested in hiding that we are seeing each other, although I am sure he will be passing me off as his gf. I doubt I would see anyone I know in any of his circles though, unless it is someone I met briefly with another SD. Atlanta is a big city after all.

  333. Mina says:

    AltNicole
    Same goes for me. I’m still Daddy’s little girl but I think Mum is starting to have suspicions about my private life. But should she ever confront me… Deny, deny, deny.

  334. SugaCaneBby says:

    My mother would be morally torn and “grieved in her spirit”, but she wouldn’t speak to me about it, except maybe to say she regrets I’ve taken such a path. But she’s always let me be my own person. My father, on the other hand, would probably skin me and everyone within a 1 mile radius alive. 😀 Oi! Then he would lecture my corpse about the ills of this lifestyle. XD

  335. SugaCaneBby says:

    AtlNicole: Not really open about my “adult” endeavors with anyone but my brother from another mother (the bestie). He pretty much knows everything about me and vice versa. I forget sometimes that there are people one values as “friend” that will judge you for this particular lifestyle choice. I’m used to being able to be very candid and off the cuff about any and everything. Nothing phases him. :3 I wish there were more like him.

  336. AtlNicole*389079* says:

    Mina & NewTXSB – I am right there with you. I am still their innocent little girl. I probably will be forever.

  337. Mina says:

    I cant even imaigne the scenario, my mind wont allow me to do so. (But that means I wont have nightmares about it, ha)
    I’ve always been very cautious, especially since my parents are somewhat well known – especially my father in his line of work. The way I see it- if my parents found out about all this, I would have A LOT more explaining to do than an SD on the site. Assuming he doesnt still have to answer to his mother & father, haha.

  338. NewTXSB says:

    “Mina:As far as my parents go, the mere thought of mentioning it to them makes me shiver.”

    OMG…I’m sitting here imagining what it would be like explaining this to my parents! LOL….WOW….yea….not happening in this lifetime!

  339. Mina says:

    NewTXSB
    One of my former SDs is a Houstonian! How is your search going?

  340. AtlNicole*389079* says:

    Mina – My pot originally asked me if I had any friends that he could hook up with one of his friends who just got out of a divorce and needed some female attn. I told him that I don’t have many single friends, but if he wanted help finding a SB I would try my best.

  341. Sweety SB~AKA BG*395953 says:

    AtlNicole~ plenty of SBs from FL… you should ask him what he’s looking for… and then ask the girls here

  342. AtlNicole*389079* says:

    Sweety – His friend does live in Savannah, so a FL SB may actually be closer than one in North GA. I guess it just depends. He does travel to Atlanta regularly though, so I am guessing that is why I was recruited to help out.

  343. Mina says:

    AltNicole
    I haven’t told anyone about this part of my life nor do I plan to. Aside from being a very private person, my friends are somewhat conservative/traditional and I’m really not up for being judged by anyone lol. As far as my parents go, the mere thought of mentioning it to them makes me shiver. My allowance has never been questioned as my parents are and always have been very generous with my allowance, and most of my sugar allowance has gone straight to my bank account or an investment here & there anyway.
    This blog is pretty much my only outlet, but even talking about it here is a little odd since I’m used to keeping this all to myself!

    Besides, how well do you know this guy to be able to pick a match for him? It sounds like he just wants you to do the work and while he reaps the benefits… Tsk, tsk

  344. Sweety SB~AKA BG*395953 says:

    And no one knows my lifestyle choice. Well the SBs here, but no one in my family… to me this is separate from my regular life

  345. Sweety SB~AKA BG*395953 says:

    AtlNicole~ I know a few I have met here, some I went to dinner with… no one from my home town but, i’ve met a few… know many from IM and things ( I haven’t met yet)

  346. NewTXSB says:

    Mina:
    I’m in Houston.

    Nicole:
    I’m very new to this but I also have not told anyone IRL about this “choice”. I can’t even imagine sharing this with anyone I know IRL….they would automatically label me as a whore.

    But I do think it would be great to meet other SBs IRL….just to have someone to talk to about this part of my life.

  347. Sweety SB~AKA BG*395953 says:

    AtlNicole~ maybe his friend wants to have a SB from another state not too far, plenty of SBs here girl!!!

  348. AtlNicole*389079* says:

    I meant to use my last post to lead into a question. Submitted it too soon.

    How many of you are open with your friends or family about the lifestyle you have chosen? Do any of you know other SBs IRL?

  349. AtlNicole*389079* says:

    Back again Sugars! Didn’t get any shopping done. I ended up babysitting my young neices for the night and just got them to sleep. I will have to go on one of my days off this week.

    My pot says he likes me so much that he is hoping I will help him find a SB for a friend of his. I honestly don’t talk about this lifestyle with many of my friends. I told one friend about him for safety reasons, but not that he is my SD. If we settle into an arrangement, I will probably explain the money by saying that I got an extra part time job or something of that nature. I don’t know of anybody else with this lifestyle in Atl, so I am guessing that it is always discreet. I guess I will help his friend put up an account and screen pot SBs that way. I don’t think any of my friends would be interested.

  350. Mina says:

    Flo Rida
    Unfortunately so many of those place have gone downhill… Some quicker than others!

    NewTXSB
    Do you live in Houston or commute?

  351. SouthernGent2 says:

    Look at all these new names btw. And BabyKT intrigues me 😉

  352. NewTXSB says:

    Flo Rida:
    You should have mail shortly.

  353. Flo Rida says:

    NewTXSB – I just landed – you have email. My email is atllgw @ g place – Atlanta – London Gatwick airport codes. Just respond to my email or try again at the above. It’s hard to tell height from a picture but you should be able to tell weight. Ciao

  354. Sweety SB~AKA BG*395953 says:

    NewTXSB~ Yeah the height thing too is a problem. I met one guy once said he was 6’2″ . I figure great I’ll wear heels, i’m 6 feet with heels!!! the guy was 5’5 maybe!!! Awkward …

    NYGent~ I don’t know if it is her, maybe….

  355. AlNisa says:

    I’m a new SB, so I haven’t yet been given any offers I had to decline. I haven’t really defined what I will accept as of yet… But I do know I’m definatley will be more of a dominant personality SB in sugarland. Im the type that usually figures out what I want, and I don’t stop until I get it.

  356. NewTXSB says:

    On the issue of fake/old pics…I dealt w/ this while meeting 2 potential SDs. One was a weight issue….he was clearly at least 25lbs heavier than the pic he sent me. The 2nd time it was height….when I showed up, he was almost the same height as me…and I kept thinking to myself that if this guy is 5’11”, then I must be wearing 10′ heels!

    I also don’t like to confront people if I can avoid it…and when meeting someone for the 1st time, this is something that’s worth the hassle to me. I just get through the “date” and move on.

  357. NYGent says:

    Speaking of celebrities, if anyone knows Ashlee Dupree (the call girl who brought down NY Gov. Eliot Spitzer), her photo also appeared on this site — either a fake by somebody, or maybe Ashlee decided to go “straight” with the sugar lifestyle!

  358. NewTXSB says:

    Flo Rida:
    OMG…Thanks for the restaurant list! I did e-mail you but I guess for some reason it didn’t go through? Can you please e-mail me at simplesf at yahoo. I have some additional q’s I’ve really love ask you if you don’t mind.

    I looove Benjy’s. I used to work at Morton’s. Someone I know was/is a hostess at Marks…never been there but she told me how great it was. For Middle Eastern food my fav. is Kasra (located on Westheimer/Gessner). I also like Grotto (Westheimer/610). I will definately copy/paste/save all the info. you gave me about the restaurants. :)

  359. Sweety SB~AKA BG*395953 says:

    New SB in SB~ there is one SD on this site that has the photo of Brat Pitt!!!!
    and another of Dermot Mulroney… like we don’t know actors!!!!
    About the age, I’m 37, I know I don’t look my age, but I’m not comfortable lying about it… SDs are the ones missing out, it’s a number and not a frame of mind… nothing else! You will find someone that will fit with you, i’m sure!

  360. Sincere – You’ve given me something to consider. I’m sure if Iput 38-39, the question of my age would probably never come up. It would be nice not to be excluded from searches such just because you have to put a limit somewhere. I am brutally honest by nature and shaving a few years might make someone question what else I’m not telling.

    Would a fair compromise be to make it humorous and put 39 on the age, then in the profile, put something like Gotcha…I’m really 42, but really wanted to overcome age perceptions so I could meet someone like you” ?

    Good advice floating around about pictures.

  361. YoungNorthernSD says:

    NYGent – Thanks for the advice. I’m totally not hot, I’m just your average looking guy. I am rather smart and have a relatively large disposable income, especially for the area. I’m not like some super rich dude or anything, though I do more than okay. I am also very respectful of women and want to treat them properly.

    She indicated she met other guys off of here who were very creepy and deceptive. They lied about their pics, their ages, wanted her to meet at a hotel room right away, were overly aggressive, that sort of thing. It unfortunately does not reflect well on the male population after hearing some of her stories.

    I am probably just going to approach things lightly on the next date.. ask her if she’s happy, if she wants more spoiling. I do very much like her and don’t want to scare her away.

  362. SincereSD says:

    Lady_8 397899 says: I have a son he is 19 months, and it seems that most here expect you to ditch the kid. … He is an integral part of my life and I won’t leave him out of my short bio in my profile.

    Personally I have no problem with my SB having a kid as long as she can make arrangements for a sitter or child care when we go out on a date or our schedule match when she doesn’t have custody of the kids. When I was dating her, we used to frequently take her son to a toy store or out for an early meal … he thought of me as mom’s boyfriend. The only time I felt awkward was when he asked me if I was staying for a sleepover … you should have seen the look on his mom’s when she turned beet red!

  363. Sweety SB~AKA BG*395953 says:

    Kit Kat how you doing girl?

  364. Sincere I might be come a e-stalker!! lol.. maybe a little!!

  365. Sweety SB~AKA BG*395953 says:

    SincereSD~ The VIP section of F1 here in Montreal was awesome, but stands not so much… only been once in the stands ,,, never again. Since F1 isn’t here anymore, ( :( crying ) I have to watch on TV… :(
    So did you race cars? if so what kind?

    Huge fan of sanair too..woo… big rig races,,, etc…

    youngnorthern~ maybe she is new at this Sb/SD dating, and doesn’t know how to bring up the subject of money,,,, If I were you, I would want to finalize the arrangement as soon as possible..

  366. SincereSD says:

    VillaCypris *396153* says: Here is an offer that I was quite happy to REFUSE! …. “this is the deal. If you come to visit me in (canadian city) I expect you to f**k me. I am going to keep you naked in the hotel room for the entire weekend.”

    VC, if NMSD (former blogger) were here, he would say …. ONLY the weekend??? I would have you naked ALL WEEK! You know he’s not a real Canadian because we would ply you with ice wine, back bacon and maple syrup before taking you home to our log cabin with our elite dog sled … and do that nose rubbing thing before getting naked.

    (Back to my SSD personna) My apologies VC, I couldn’t resist stepping in. Sorry you had to endure that creep.

    Sweety SB~AKA BG*395953 says: You went to Shanghai F1 race Alone, Wow never let that happen again, It was an amazing race too…. if ever you need company for the F1 races let me know,,,, i’m such a fan!

    Do you all think that adding that i’m a F1 race fan, football and so forth on my profile would be better?

    I went alone but that was in 2007. The circuit is amazing because you can see most of the action from the grandstands unlike in Montreal. I’m going to need a sugar mama if I take you and Villa to Shanghai next year. 😉 I would recommend adding your interest in your profile; personally I like to have common interest with my SB.

    VillaCypris *396153* says: When i lived in Monte Carlo for one year, I was able to attend the Monaco Grand Prix, watched it from the lobby of Hotel d Paris, so as the cars came up the hill and screamed around casino square, I was about 5 feet away from them. Quite an exciting experience!

    Always wanted to go to MC to see a race! The only thing more exciting than watching a F1 race is driving a racecar and the rush of stalking someone to setup for that perfect pass.

    Kit-Kat*367987* says: Sincere I know!!!!! you didnt say something about Racing!! you may have just Regained your post as my Favorite, eventhough I am a NASCAR gal anything on wheels works!

    Suppose I tell you I used to race cars for a hobby.

  367. Flo Rida says:

    Citrus – Many strippers are lesbians (alas they see men at their worst), also it is probably every guys fantasy of a threesome – so you going to a strip club could appeal to SD and the strippers. Damn my brain is full of stuff that shouldn’t be there.

    BabyKT – an email from a work email address plus a face photo next to his passport blacking out his name and address but showing his age clearly establishes male proof of identity. The only way around this is fake email accounts (unlikely) and fake passports (unlikely) or getting someone younger to do it for you as a body double (possible but you would catch SD in a big lie). Having said that MOST SD’s would scream no way jose at the above.

    YoungNorthernSD – NYGent – chemistry takes time but methink you guys are thinking too much – you should script out EXACTLY what you would say to broach the subject of an allowance and expectations. I quote Glengarry Glen Ross – Always be closing.

    SincereSD – it’s never wise to shave years in either direction BUT it happens.

    OCSugar – have fun lurking – glad you are happy.

  368. NYGent says:

    youngnorthern: I would add that it is EXTREMELY unusual for a SB on this site to go on 6 dates without bringing up the subject of an arrangement, financial or othwerwise. Most will want to have such a discussion, if not on the first date, then at least on the second and no later than the third at the very latest. If after 3 dates without discussion of $ she is still willing to go out with you, then either (a) she is just looking for a boyfriend who can take her to nice places (not the typical profile); or (b) you are so incredibly hot that she’s afraid to scare you off (in which case I envy you!) But if you really really like her, try to force the $$ issue to see if that’s what’s holding her back, and be prepared to be generous.

  369. SincereSD says:

    VillaCypris *396153* says: Here is an offer that I was quite happy to REFUSE! …. “this is the deal. If you come to visit me in (canadian city) I expect you to f**k me. I am going to keep you naked in the hotel room for the entire weekend.”

    VC, if NitemareSD were here, he would say …. WTF ONLY the weekend??? I would have you naked ALL WEEK! You know he’s not a real Canadian because we would ply you with ice wine, back bacon and maple syrup before taking you home to our log cabin with our elite dog sled … and do that nose rubbing thing before getting naked.

    (Back to my SSD personna) My apologies VC, I couldn’t resist stepping in. Sorry you had to endure that creep.

    Sweety SB~AKA BG*395953 says: You went to Shanghai F1 race Alone, Wow never let that happen again, It was an amazing race too…. if ever you need company for the F1 races let me know,,,, i’m such a fan!

    Do you all think that adding that i’m a F1 race fan, football and so forth on my profile would be better?

    I went alone but that was in 2007. The circuit is amazing because you can see most of the action from the grandstands unlike in Montreal. I’m going to need a sugar mama if I take you and Villa to Shanghai next year. 😉 I would recommend adding your interest in your profile; personally I like to have common interest with my SB.

    VillaCypris *396153* says: When i lived in Monte Carlo for one year, I was able to attend the Monaco Grand Prix, watched it from the lobby of Hotel d Paris, so as the cars came up the hill and screamed around casino square, I was about 5 feet away from them. Quite an exciting experience!

    Always wanted to go to MC to see a race! The only thing more exciting than watching a F1 race is driving a racecar and the rush of stalking someone to setup for that perfect pass.

    Kit-Kat*367987* says: Sincere I know!!!!! you didnt say something about Racing!! you may have just Regained your post as my Favorite, eventhough I am a NASCAR gal anything on wheels works!

    Suppose I tell you I used to race cars for a hobby.

  370. hello all I see all the Sd’s have come back was you all watching the Race??
    anyway I think I will hold my peice on this stuff go find a young woman who may not have the same life experince and Wisdom as a 40 year old should or could have and Dress her up in clothes that make you feel better and THEN put her in a Situation that may unnerve her!
    thats not nice! its selfish!!
    Pick and choose as you like but dang take the lady to places before hand !
    Show her a monet, the Charites you support, hell may be have to tell them WHAT it is, the Good resturants may be in French can she read French? or italian, take her under your wing and be her Daddy!
    then once you know she has her footing then.. then take her out and let yourselves be seen! and her be Questioned, because another woman IS Questioning who is this and how does she know him!!

    I am dissapointed by a comment by a SD how can you say She looked like a hooker and they sat you behind a wall! she wasnt dressed for that so you should have not taken her there! that was your bad!

  371. NYGent says:

    If there is a date, just end it as quickly as possible and either don’t respond to further contacts from them or politely respond “not interested” or words to that effect. I just don’t like to provoke a confrontation in person, just as if I were being mugged I would likely not fight back for fear the person’s got a gun or knife, but just go along with it until it’s over and thank G_d I got out alive.

  372. Margo says:

    NYGent,
    The first person I met on similar website had someone’s else photos in his profile. There were three pictures posted. The first one was his photo, the second was a photo of someone else who was extremely attractive, and the third photo was not clear whom but he looked somehow in between of those two.

    The faked pictures were a sign of “the overall pattern of deception” like you said. What I was supposed to do? I could not even say that there were someone’s else photos in his profile, because at least one of them was his photo. That was a sophisticated way to lie – when they tell you half truth.

    I don’t want to spend even short time with people like this. What is the best way to resolve such a situation immediately, but politely and with dignity?

  373. NYGent says:

    youngnorthern: It sounds like neither of you has any particular problem with the way things are going so far, so I’m not sure I would rock the boat (why ruin a good thing?) On the other hand if you think the lack of an arrangement is the only thing standing between you and her physically, and you want to take the relationship to that next level, you might ask her on the next date whether she is happy with the way things are going and whether there is something more specific or concrete she is looking for from you. If she says, “not really,” then keep going as long as you are liking the situation. If (as I suspect she might) she says, “well, now that you mention it, this IS after all a SUGARDADDY site, hint, hint, or words to that effect, then it’s time for you to belly up to the bar and get specific with the kind of $$ arrangement you’re willing to offer.

    that’s my opinion at least.

  374. BabyKT says:

    Flo Rida – That’s true, it is definitely a useful tool to use when unsure if someone is sending their own pictures. It’s a hassle for the other person to do it, but nothing beats safety.

    NYGent – It is sad. I wonder what SD view on these types of extremely desperate situations are, like severe money problems. I feel like that would move a SB closer to crossing the “I don’t know yet/am denying that I am an escort” line. But, maybe I’m wrong.

  375. YoungNorthernSD says:

    I met a very interesting and attractive young woman through SA about a month ago. We’ve gone out 6 times and it seems to be going well.

    We haven’t discussed an exact “arrangement” but I have taken her shopping and to upscale restaurants. She indicated she wanted to be spoiled on one of our earlier dates. I really have a lot of fun hanging out with her. Don’t misread that though… we haven’t slept together: I really do enjoy her company. She has a magical and creative quality about her that I don’t often find.

    I’m not really sure how to take things to the next level. I am new to this. This isn’t “normal” dating. I’m in my early 30s, she’s in her early 20’s. Any advice? I don’t want to offend her with some type of weird offer and come off like a loser or something.

  376. SisyphusSB says:

    Hi NYGent,

    I avoid confrontation at all costs as well. I would have done precisely the same thing. Make it through the first dinner/meeting politely and then put an end to it amicably. I’ve experienced someone posting an old picture of themselves but never something as extreme as what you have described. Once I was even pleasantly surprised as I thought they looked even better with age.

    Fakery in a different way…that covers a lot of ground! I’ve experienced too much fakery in terms of people not being what they said they are. People who think they are nice, then are rude to waiters, etc. or simply people who say they are looking for one thing but really want something else. Generally, whenever someones action does not match their words.

  377. SouthernGent2 says:

    ATL Nicole – I sort of understand what your sd is going through when he asks you to dress a bit older. Its one of the tough parts of all this. And you mentioned about him or someone else asking you to cover up a tattoo on your arm. When you are seeing someone from same city, appearances can matter and make a difference. The risk of being caught was always in the back of my mind, and perception always weighed on me, and it probably distracted from things just a bit. I always considered that if I were to be seen, I didn’t want to answer questions such as “what were you doing out with that girl with tattoos all over her?” Or “who was that young girl in the miniskirt?” Perhaps your sd is thinking along similar lines???

  378. NYGent says:

    BabyKT: yes i’d be embarrassed as hell, but anybody who’d be embarrassed wouldn’t do it in the first place. In this situation I found out during the date that the woman had an 8-year-old daughter (which she hadn’t revealed in her profile — not a crime in and of itself, I can understand why not everyone would volunteer that info in a profile), but it added to the overall pattern of deception). Turns out she had SEVERE money problems, too, as in unpaid judgments and tax liens.

    I think it wasactually kind of sad. Here was an attractive woman (probably a “7”) who was so desperate she felt she had to post photos of a “9” to attract a SD. Short term thinking though

  379. Flo Rida says:

    BabyKT – errrr there’s nothing stopping you from requesting a full body shot AND a face shot next to today’s New York Times – SD can black out the eyes to hide identity but give you enough to guess real age. If you ask for it and he /she doesn’t oblige – doesn’t that tell you something?

  380. SincereSD says:

    New SB in SB *395409* says: Realistic and SincereSDs: You brought up some good topics about the ages of sbs. I’m 42, but look and feel younger. I guess that puts me in the “cougar” category as I have dated mature younger men. I heard someone mention they add years to the profile age simply b/c people fudge their age. How firm are you and SD friends on the age preference? Have you had arrangements with sbs closer to your age? What were the pros/cons? Should I state in my profile that my age is recorded correctl?

    Any sage advice regarding sbs over 35?

    *donning fireproof suit* Fwiw, I would recommend tweaking your profile to 38 or 39. This is a heated topic and has been covered extensively above (or was it the previous blog?).

    Although age is just a number, I personally cap my sugar searches at 39. I can not rationalize this other than to say there are too many profiles to sort through and I had to set a limit.

    IRL I have gone on (non-sugar) dates with several women in their low 40’s. I am way more selective when dating a woman in her 40’s … she has to be a perfect fit personality-wise and look younger. My level of discomfort is that these relationship tend to turn serious very quickly and that’s not what I’m looking for.

  381. BabyKT says:

    Flo Rida – one SD asked me to take a photo with my face resting on my clenched fists as proof… I thought it was funny, but I did it.

  382. Flo Rida says:

    NY Gent – i’m typing in a car so forgive spelling, nowadays Tracphone is the way to go – you get a disposable # with no history and you dump the phone after a meet ANOTHER option is to buy a new SIM card (but that’s more expensive) and dump the SIM card.

    ie finding a bad # means you can weed them out BUT not being able to weed them out does not guarantee “bona fides”. Finally if someone really wanted to cover their tracks, you’d never be able to find them through a reverse # search.

  383. BabyKT says:

    NYGent – The subject of pictures should get it’s own blog discussion, as I’m sure everyone has stories. It’s happened to me twice while meeting pot SDs. One confronted me about the subject right away; reason – him being married. I understood, and we ended up having a great first date. Another guy either sent pictures from 20 years ago, before a face transplant, 70lbs lighter, or found the picture on the internet – I couldn’t tell. It was my first or second time meeting someone from the site in person, and I remember feeling so uncomfortable, and even scared, I had to leave. I didn’t confront him, but he also didn’t offer any explanation. I don’t understand how people can do that – wouldn’t you be embarrassed to show up knowing the pictures you sent look nothing like you?

  384. NYGent says:

    FlorRida: very cloak and dagger stuff. wish i’d thought of it. but no, they were not just very old pics — definitely a different person.

    sometimes when I get a cell phone # in advance I run a reverse phone check, at least if something seems a bit fishy. Can’t be too careful these days. I’ve managed to catch a couple people this way who weren’t being on the level, so I backed out in time, but in this case i didn’t get that chance.

  385. Flo Rida says:

    NYGent – Firstly you may have just caught them on a bad day OR the pics could be old (but still her) BUT assuming you still that she lied, the polite brush off is the easiest answer “I’m sorry I’m too busy for this right now, I’m sorry I don’t feel we have the right chemistry”.

    BUT if you’d requested an email of a face photo next to today’s edition of the New York Times (WSJ etc) in close up – PRIOR to a meet – you would not have wasted your time.

    Finally I do not have experience of fakery as I met my sole SD IRL, BUT SD has CIA friends who have given me a 1st class education in espionage techniques, including proof of life (above). Yes my brain is full of stuff that shouldn’t be there. Hope this helps.

  386. NYGent says:

    Here is one for the group: how do you react when you meet someone in person and their photos turn out not to be them? This happened to me recently (not with my current SB), but it was very subtle. The pics on the site (same person had two entries, maybe that should have been a red flag) showed someone around 25-26, tall, long dark hair, extremely attractive. Profile said age 30 but I figured what the heck, maybe the photos are a couple years old, no biggie. We met and it wasn’t her — even though she was, indeed, tall, long dark hair, and attractive, she was not nearly as pretty as the person in the photos, and was (I would say) mid to late 30s. Obviously what happened, IMO, is she found photos of someone else who looked enough like her real self to be able to give her “plausible deniability” if accused of fakery. But believe me they were different people. Did I call her on it? Nope, maybe because I just don’t like confrontation. (how do you tell somebody to their face that they’re a fake?). Instead I was pretty unenthusastic during the dinner date. then she emailed a few days later wanting to get together again! Did I say “no, you’re a fake”? Nope again (I guess I don’t like confrontation over the internet either!). Just said I’d found somebody else and not looking anymore. But Weird, weird. Anybody else confront fakery in a different way?

  387. ok so this is funny!
    on another site
    I get a youve been viewd notice! so I wonder Who is looking at me, HOTBEDROOMBULLY, now Really do you think I want a bully in my bed room?? and a horny bully yeah right!!
    Question Why do people not put a logical effort into their name?
    second Why dont they pay attention to their surroundings WHY the heckola would you take a photo with a bunch of Clutter in the photo??

  388. lisa says:

    I’ve heard of Fadis. Cafe lili is a little place but i’ve heard it has good food too. My ex husband was middle eastern and cooked middle eastern food. I’m very picky when it comes to food that has spices and onions. The only thing I could eat was Samosas (spelling) dumpling looking things stuffed with ground beef.

    No I can’t get to any of the good spots and actually have not been out of the house past 6 pm since I stopped working evenings over a year ago.
    When it gets dark, i’m trapped in.

    Have a good night everyone. I’m trying to rest up and feel better so I can go out on my day off tomorrow

  389. NYC SB says:

    TLG – I have seen OCs profile 😀

  390. Flo Rida says:

    TLG – I’ve seen OC Sugarbaby’s profile – she does exist. You could ask if I exist, but let’s save the existential discussion for a later night. I’m pooped and need a drink or three.

  391. Flo Rida says:

    Lisa and NYC SB – Sorry the middle eastern place on Westheimer is Fadis Mediterranena delight (not Cafe Lili – I’ve never been to Cafe Lili) – it serve cafeteria style food but I liked it. Also for middle eastern cuisinie there’s Cafe Kiran on Westheimer – which I didn’t really like.

    Also I forgot about Uptown Sushi near the Belvedere, also there’s Arcodoro’s below Morton’s in the Galleria and Armando’s – also near the Belvedere – I always confuse those. T’afia is inexpensive. Voice is the restaurant in the Icon hotel downtown. Masraff’s is another expensive but nice restaurant, Smith & Wollensky’s is the seafood steakhouse in Highland village with the bar scene, Del Frisco’s is another decent steak place, Ouisie’s Table is a very southern restaurant on San Jacinto (?) Sorrento is a very good italian that has one entree to die for but I can’t remember what it is) and Spencer’s is the restaurant with the view above the Hilton Americas downtown. Also there’s a sushi restaurant on Kirby inside the loop but I’ve forgotten it’s name.

    As you can see I went out all the time – sign of a wild child – rich wild child, the bar and lounge scene has probably changed in 18 months but I remember the Angel in the Omni hotel, Bond Street in Uptown, Vulcano’s and the bars close to Vulcano’s always had a lot of people, the bars at the Icon and the Alden and ZaZa’s always had people and of course the Belvedere.

    NewTXSB – you should be able to dine for a year on the above recommendations. I think my restaurant advice work is done. PS this is why I said email me (I’m not sure everyone else cares about my restaurant tips – BUT I understand you don’t know me).

    Lisa – it would be difficult to get to these places without access to a car – thanks for the email and hope you are having a nice day.

  392. The Lone Gunman says:

    Gah!

    ANOTHER profile that is using a ripped image from one of the four other sites it appears on.

    Do people think we can’t see through the fakes?

    TLG

  393. The Lone Gunman says:

    OCSugarbaby says:

    ..Besides RealisticSD and TLG (who I still think is an Urban Myth) I have heard from some very sweet Texas SD’s…

    That’s strange. Elvis, Bigfoot and I were debating recently while clearing our chakras on the Mothership whether YOU exist, OC–since none of us had seen your profile to verify same…

    Hmmm. The Man, The Myth, The Urban Legend

    Quick! Someone get hold of a T-shirt company!

    TLG

  394. lisa says:

    There’s a middle eastern – lebanese type restaurant on Westheimer somewhere between Fountainview and Gessner on the left hand side as you move away from the loop – I liked it

    Cafe Lili? I’ve seen it when I was over shopping on Westheimer. Never been to any of the restaraunts you mentioned though

  395. Flo Rida says:

    NewTXSB – just for you, here is my take on Houston restaurants (aleit it’s 18 months old). Sorry to bore everything else.

    EXPENSIVE
    Marks – Most consider this to be Houston’s best restaurant and a great date place – it’s in an old church – food and service are excellent – not my favorite but definitely in the top 3
    Da Marco – great date place, ultra romaNTIC but definitely overpriced because of it – not a bog group dinner more a couples place
    Tony’s on Richmond – my personal favorite, great couples place and 5-10 person group place, love the food and the service, great for a date or a girls night out or a have fun on Friday night place – very versatile
    Noe (in the Omni) – excellent food – something like a 5 or 7 course tasting menu but I’m not a huge fan of hotel restaurants, but if you’re really into your date and the world doesn’t matter then this is a great place, if you don’t know your date very well this can get awkward and long very quickly
    17 – in the alden(?) hotel – tries to be a NY restaurant but fails in the service, fails in being hip and fails in having food that simply doesn’t wow – nice bar upstairs though
    Caffie Annie – traditional and very good – but it’s the type of place houston investment bankers would have closing dinners at – not really a fun place to let rip on a Friday night – if you know what I mean
    America’s – Brazilian and South American food – excellent quality but way overpriced and also service is slow
    Trulucks – a great place for things like oyster, crab, etc – nice bar scene after work as well
    There’s a cajun – creole restaurant on Smith Street that closed after Katrina – excllent is you like cajun – creole
    Damian’s on Smith Street – I like it but it’s kinda old fashioned
    Monarch – another one of those in a hotel restaurants that don’t work for me, nice bar though
    Quattro – another restaurant in a hotel – this time the Four Seasons
    There’s another restuarant in a hotel downtown – it’s in an actual Bank and it might even be called Bank – I think Jean Georges is the chef but you’ve heard what I’ve had to say about restaurant’s in hotels.
    Finally there’s a bar and restaurant on top of the Hilton Americas near the basketball arena – it’s ok but you do get a nice view of Houston

    STEAK
    Houston has such good steak places that I’ve created a special category
    Pappas Steak House – Strip House – Vic & Anthony’s in my opinion are the top three in quality followed in no particular order by Palm, Capital Grille, Ruth Chris, Morton’s, Fogo de Chao, Churrascos, Flemings, there’s also a steak seafood place in Highland Village which has a good bar scene some nights but I can’t remember the name

    MODERATELY PRICED
    Chez Nous – all the way in Humble past the airport so it’s way way out there, if you’re looking for high end but “homey” French food this is the place to go – excellent food – not trendy at all though
    Good Co Barbeque and Good Company Seafood – I used to love the seafood restaurant in an old railcar – lots of charm and very reasonably priced – good times
    Shade – nice place in the Heights – reasonably priced because it’ more of a locals place
    La Grilia on West Gray – I used to really like this but now i’m blahhhhh on it – I think it’s more corporate and the food doesn’t zing and the atmosphere is a bit flat
    Tony’s Mandolas’s Gulf Coast – both times I’ve been I’ve hated it – but other people like it
    Pesce – used to be good until Landry’s bought it and corporateized it
    Mockingbird Bistro – it’s ok – very southern and middle of range

    INEXPENSIVE
    Otto’s – George Bush senior goes there, or used to – good barbeque, I’m not a huge fan but others are
    Luling’s – as close to authentic chinese as you can get in Houston – much better than Yao’s which can’t decide if it’s a sports bar in the middle of nowwhere or if it’s a Chinese restaurant
    Little Pappasito’s and Chuy’s – basically after work crowds for cheap mexican food
    Treebeard’s – downtown – I think there are now three of them but the original Treebeards has excellent cajun food – it’s the only cajun food I willingly eat outside of Louisiana
    Rajun Cajun – cheap lousiana food – good for cheap frat party stuff but pretty disjusting otherwise

    SPECIALIZED
    Ruggles Grill – great dessert placed – not subtle simply overpowering and huge volumes
    Rainbow Lodge – best game in town – also nice decor is you like the lodge look, overlooks the bayou so in summer you get a nice view
    Benjy’s – really really cool lounge – restaurant – lots of my friends love this place
    Belvedere lounge – used to be one of the places to go but has recently lost it’s lustre
    Beck’s Prime – food is nothing to write home about BUT this place has THE BEST TREE IN THE ENTIRE WORLD – I would recommend everyone who comes to Houston to go to Beck’s Prime on Westheimer in the Galleria and see the tree – it’s a wonder of the world.
    Chococalte House or Store – everything in the store is made from chocolate – nice to visit and just marvel at what’s in it.
    There’s a middle eastern – lebanese type restaurant on Westheimer somewhere between Fountainview and Gessner on the left hand side as you move away from the loop – I liked it

    NEVER BEEN BUT OTHER’S HAVE MENTIONED
    Artista, Indika, Kubo’s, Rioja – sorry no opinion.

    I’ve done the above from memory so if there are errors – caveat emptor.
    Hope this helps.

  396. lisa says:

    Cheesecake, blah! I liked cheesecake till I found out it was made with cheese. I like cheese by itself only, not mixed into anything and cheese and meat together grosses me out.

  397. lisa says:

    I don’t get any sd emails from foriegn countries but I have been left millions of dollars many times by wealthy people in Nigeria. They usually come from England and have a sender name such as “Zukeraki Smith”
    or mrs wadahalu johnson or something. lol

  398. NYC SB says:

    I shared the cheesecake with everyone that is still in the office… its a whole cake… too much for me… plus sharing is caring 😀

  399. Sweety SB~AKA BG*395953 says:

    OC~ I know it’s nice but….Thailand and India are kinda far!

  400. Flo Rida says:

    Ok so lots on the blog that I don’t want to get in the middle of.

    AtlNicole – I popped into Taste of Atlanta but was generally disappointed, it’s less of an event than in previous years and Flip, 1Midtown Kitchen, Buckhead Diner and Atlanta fish Market did not even “booth”. There was also ticket inflation in the sense that things cost more and finally a lot of the food was bland. Added to that Trois and the Ritz Carlton Buckhead restaurants recently closed and it looks dark and gloomy for high end Atlanta restaurants – BUT catch them when you can. Separately the traffic in Bangkok and Mexico City are by far the wrost in the world, Atlanta is inconsequential in comparison. I hope you enjoyed it better than I did.

  401. Lannie says:

    NYC SB: Hmmm! Do you like to share, I love cheesecake too and after you eat it all up you might just have a little energy! (smiles)

  402. Same as here, have to get settled and nap-time.

    Thank you for the great advice.

    Talk to you ladies and gents later.

  403. Citrus says:

    I am also off, got a test tomorrow. Thanks everyone for the wonderful advices. Peace and crackers!!

  404. NYC SB says:

    Have fun miss OC… soak in some sun for me!

  405. Sweety SB~AKA BG*395953 says:

    Taz~ I’m here girl!!!

    OC~ lol for clarifications you are too funny girl….Wish I had a few SDs lined up for me :( , soon I hope! so tired of getting overseas mail…. what is that about???

    NYGent~ I’m in Montreal, not far from NY, I do write to SDs in NY…. Nothing worked out, but….. You never know. I hope it works out for you

    • OCSugarbaby says:

      Hi Sweetie SB! I am jealous. I have never had overseas SD’s contact ME!!! lol

      Ok, sugars I am off to spend my day outdoors! Enjoy! 😉

  406. NYC SB says:

    ummm cheesecake has been delivered to work! YAY!

    this is from the man i was supposed to go out with tonight… i unfortunately cancelled as I have no energy to do anything… and he just sent a HUGE junior’s cheesecake (the best cheesecake in NYC) to my job… how sweet… i think i will meet him for a quick drink 😀

    food is the way to a womans heart as well

  407. Citrus says:

    Taz–sure thing..
    New SB in SB–thanks, that’s something to definitely keep in mind.
    NY Gent–Lurking generally means you’re on a (public) forum or blog reading but not participating/posting.

  408. NYGent says:

    Never mind looked it up on Wikipedia. Now I get it (duh)

  409. Taz says:

    No OC I am from Canada…it has been tough from here to find legit SD’s so the only thing I can give is great advice on is how to weed out the ones wanting an escort 😉

    I have been speaking with one pot. and it is going very well ty :)

    • OCSugarbaby says:

      Taz: Oh and you have a Golden Lab! Now I remember! Keep your options open with the pots. Talking to more than one is allowed. 😉

  410. OC~
    Thank you hun. as you can tell I am completely new to this kind of formal arrangement.

    As my profile is already pending, I will take your very good advice.

    I am hoping to meet a honest and normal person. And appreciate advice on how to get that across with out getting too in your face.

  411. NYGent says:

    Sorry to be such a newbie again but what exactly is the technical definition of “lurking?” Sounds almost sinister . . . I hide my profile (if that’s the definition) only because I think I know what I want and know how to search for it, and am sort of an old school believer that it’s best when the man initiates interest/contact. I was another site once briefly where hiding profile wasn’t an option and I got bombarded with all sorts of emails from people all across the country (when I said only interested in NYC and NorCal) from women who clearly hadn’t read (or just ignored) the profile. Enuf of that!

    • OCSugarbaby says:

      Sugar Vocabulary 101 Lesson:

      Pot = Potential SB or SB
      Poof = To disappear without a trace
      Lurking = To read blog but not post or not have the energy to add to the conversation
      Allowance = Ummm Please don’t tell me you need this one explained
      Newbie = The status we all start out with
      Email etiquette: The common courtesy to email the sender back with a polite no thank you if you are not interested.
      Blue profile = Not a paying member / SD’s need a picture with a blue and then can email only 10 SB’s / SB’s need a picture and can email unlimited amount
      Orange profile = Paying member

  412. Taz says:

    Tyvm Citrus! I looked late last night but could not find it…perhaps should have looked while I was awake today before asking 😛

  413. Hello and welcome NY Gent.

    As for strip clubs, my experience has been with my ex-hubby to a very classy place. Initially, it takes a little getting used to. A few drinks later, he is looking and we are sharing comments about the dancers. It was never dirty or kinky. The rest of the evening went quite well *wink* . It’s really up to your comfort level. I don’t recommend a run of the mill place for your first time…make sure you go somewher couples frequent.

    Kids – I have a young son, but I don’t put it in the profile. He spends equal time and I get a social life with a pretty flexible schedule. He has a great relationship with dad. I don’t get him involved in my dating world until we are 4-5 months in. I don’t want him seeing some revolving door of men as I weed out the bad ones. As for SDs…I’m happy to share my momitude, but it shouldn’t play into any other factors outside of schedules.

    That’s my two cents!

    XOXO

    NSB

  414. NYC SB says:

    lisa says: Feeling sick, worked hard today today. Going to make some cocoa with marshmallows and whipped cream and watch some tv.

    that sounds like heaven right about now!

    ::runs off to the office pantry for some hot chocolate::

  415. NYC SB says:

    Lady – then they are probably just emailing women they find attractive hoping someone is interested without reading the actual profile…

  416. lisa says:

    Good afternoon everyone. Beautiful gloomy day in Houston. The cool weather is finally here :) well for a couple days as it’s supposed to be in the 80’s by mid week :(

    Feeling sick, worked hard today today. Going to make some cocoa with marshmallows and whipped cream and watch some tv.

  417. Citrus says:

    Taz-before you go back to Lurkland, lol, I just went back and noticed your question about the password, I don’t know if you got your answer yet, but if you click on “ACCOUNT” at the top—> CHANGE PASSWORD (under “manage your account”) you should be straight.

  418. The Lone Gunman says:

    DO NOT READ THIS MESSAGE.

    I am taking a quick break from all the crap I am doing today.

    Had this been an actual blog post, it would have been brilliantly witty and urbane, causing grown men to cry and whales blubber.

    We now return you to your blog in progress.

    TLG

  419. Taz says:

    No worries OC. I was not trying to give him bad advice or deter him from his SB – just nice to have something to say once in awhile…only he will know if she is worthy of his patience…I will go back into lurking mode as well now 😛

  420. that was clip on my profile. to me it doesn’t say that i am wanting that kind of person

  421. Sweety SB~AKA BG*395953 says:

    OC~ hey girl, Profile is ok, still getting mail from overseas though.. But i’m still patiently waiting…. ok not so patient but.. still…. lol
    How are you? and the new SD ?

  422. As I edited the title it is pending again. But it clearly states that i am looking for only a sd.

    ” I am looking for a longer-term arrangement, and am not opposed to a long-distance relationship.
    If you want to socialize with a fiery, brutally honest woman with old fashioned european family values then by all means message, I would love to speak with you. ”

    the message almost looks ‘canned’

    • OCSugarbaby says:

      Lady_8: Sugar dating struggles to be long term. Maybe some statements to focus on chemistry? How about changing the first line to read:
      “Distance should not trump chemistry” “When I meet that person who not only sparks my interest but puts that dreamy look on my face, I will know it!”
      “Chemistry means everything and I am open to a long term arrangement”

      • OCSugarbaby says:

        Taz: YOU do have a great deal to add! Come on back.
        I would love to learn more about you. I gather you are also in Texas with Miss Lisa? How is your sugar search going? Besides RealisticSD and TLG (who I still think is an Urban Myth) I have heard from some very sweet Texas SD’s. I also have a SB friend (who only lurks lately) in Texas and has told me some very positive stories. Yes, Lisa, you say they all have been on SA for years. I don’t know. The ones I have spoken to just joined within the last few months.

  423. NYC SB says:

    Lady – there are many couples on SA looking for a “third” I am not sure if your profile states that you are looking for an SD or SM or maybe both… however if it does thats probably why they contacted you… clearly if this is not something you are interested in you can say so

  424. Koi says:

    Off to run some errands! Talk to yall later!

  425. Taz says:

    OC if that was a shot at me…I was clearly being playful as in the very next line I said I hoped that they had sparks on Tuesday. I already have someone that interests me and am definitely NOT an experienced SB to be giving out wonderful advice that most of the SB’s on this site are able to.

  426. Wondering if i need to state in my profile that i am not here for services.?

  427. have you ladies ever been asked to go out with a sd and his wife. and they ask for ‘something more’ saying how the both of them like to spoil young ladies.

  428. NYGent says:

    BabyKT: no offense taken, thanks for the advice. We’ll see how Tuesday goes . . .

  429. Koi says:

    NYGent

    I agree with Gemini that allowance amount should not really be used to determine amount of times you will see each other. You two need to decide that together.

    • OCSugarbaby says:

      I am going to tell my SD NOT to come to the blog for advice! I guess that is my way of saying that it makes me sad that SB’s would “hit on” a SD that is perfectly happy with who he has chosen. ~shakes head and goes back to lurking…

      • OCSugarbaby says:

        Taz: Just a warning shot, I was saying that kidding or not, it had me shaking my head. You were playing I understand that. In the past we wonder why SD’s don’t come out of lurking mode as often as we would like. Many reasons may apply. But it is difficult for them to come here with their questions. The advice given to NYGent was wonderful. But at times all the attention can be uncomfortable. LOL We totally out number them! Sorry did not mean to hurt your feelings.

  430. NYC SB says:

    Fair enough… best of luck… continue posting on the blog… we are always looking for input from a few good SDs 😀

  431. NYGent says:

    NYC SB: you’re right, I used an over-generalization (but don’t we all at times!). And my SB has shown no signs of fickleness to date, and indeed has been perfectly reliable (more so than many older women). So I take it back (except in those cases where it’s true!)

  432. NYGent says:

    Gemini, thanks, good advice. Maybe I wasn’t precise in my posting: we really had no frequency set in stone: the actual words were “once a week or so,” and depending on whether we travel. All I’m saying is I think she focused on the “o0nce a week” and maybe didn’t pay such close attention to the “or so,” and you are right that if I try to up the ante she may feel a little annoyed, so I think I’ll just keep it around once a week (or so!) for now . . .

  433. BabyKT says:

    NYGent – I can’t get over how considerate you are towards her. School night? I think I’ve said “aw” in the past hour more than I have in the past two month.
    Now I’m going to say something you won’t like :) I think once a week is ok. That’s usually 4-5x a month, which seems reasonable to me..

  434. NYC SB says:

    “I just find girls in their (early) 20’s so maddeningly fickle at times even though I adore them!”

    NYGent – I resent that! Not all girls in their early 20s are fickle… just the immature ones… so with proper screening you should be able to get a adorable AND reliable 20 year old… As for me… I take sugar dating seriously… My SD takes care of me so I make sure that I accomodate his schedule so we can see each other… I cancelled once because I had a deadline at work … at the end of the day it comes down to attitude… does the SB appreciate you and your time or she views you as a shmuck that takes care of her… run from the latter 😉

    gotta get back to work

  435. NYGent says:

    Taz, Hmm… several of you ladies sound very appealing and nice — but I’m sincerely hoping my current one works out. If not, you never know! . . .

  436. Taz says:

    BabyKT – I would put something of ‘substance’ in there…at least enough that someone could start a conversation with you :)

  437. Gemini29 says:

    NY Gent- If you agreed on once-a-week I would stick to that. If you want more time with her, then you need to bring that up with her, not try and “slip it in”, because this will probably breed distrust and annoyance on her part. The allowance shouldn’t indicate how many meetups per month but how much you enjoy being in her company and spending time with her. Just my two cents.

  438. Taz says:

    Hmmm NYGent maybe you should try someone like me! 30 who looks early 20’s 😉

    I do hope there is some spark on Tuesday though :)

    BG are you still around?

  439. BabyKT says:

    A quick question about profiles… How much to write?

    I was on SA 6 months ago and had a well-written profile with plenty of information on what kind of person I was.. but wasn’t that into the site and don’t remember whether I got a lot of emails or not.

    Now, I changed it to basically a two-sentence “come get me” type profile, and considering how much time I spend on the site, feel like I’m not getting enough emails.

    I always pay a lot of attention to SD profiles and prefer for them to have at least a paragraph of information. Does the same go for Sugar babies?

    Any profile advice?

  440. NYGent says:

    Thanks for all the kind advice. BabyKT: the dates were three days apart and our third is scheduled for this Tuesday. We will be out fairly late at an event so not sure I will even suggest going back to my place this time as it’s a “school night,” but I’ll be watching for signs of enthusiasm. One further question: for $5K allowance a month plus extras what is a reasonable expectation for # of times to meet? I’m thinking maybe 6 (which is once a week, and twice a week every other week), but if we travel together it could be a little more. She has made it clear she doesn’t have time to get together “every day” or anything close to that, and I said that was ok, but 1 1/2 times a week sounds pretty reasonable to me, no? We left it at “once a week or so” although I think she may be more wedded to the “once a week” and me to the “or so.” All could change of course if we hit it off big time (or fizzle). I just find girls in their (early) 20’s so maddeningly fickle at times even though I adore them!

  441. Koi says:

    I agree that they make up their minds to whether or not they will sleep with them. But WHEN it will happen is still up in the air.

  442. Taz says:

    lmfao nycsb!!

    welcome nygent :)

  443. NYC SB says:

    In the words of Chris Rock: “When you meet a woman within the first 5 seconds she makes up her mind whether she is going to sleep with you or not. You are shaking her hand saying hello and in her head she is thinking ‘Oh Imma sleep with him tonight’. Now your jobs is to make sure that you dont say anything to mess that up.”

    😀

  444. BabyKT says:

    NYGent – I am also in my early 20s, and third or fourth date sounds beyond reasonable to be able to recognize chemistry, if it’s there (but then there is research that states women decide if they would sleep with a man within the first 30 seconds of conversation). How far apart were the dates? The fact that you fronted the allowance was extremely sweet, and probably adds to your anticipation..

  445. Koi says:

    Hi NYGent!

    There really is no set time limit. If you are really enjoying your time with her and you feel like there is chemistry and you are getting to know each other, then you should stay. With women the more they like and trust you, the more sexually open they will be with you when the time does come. If she’s still feeling a bit unsure on the 3rd date it’s going to reflect in bed. IMHO best to wait till both parties are excited and ready.

  446. NYC SB says:

    Koi – if an amount has been agreed upon you have every right to ask for it prior to seeing him or even ask that he has it for you when you guys meet… if he does not… well then NEXT!

  447. NYC SB says:

    NYGent – how sweet and considerate of you! however, she is in her early 20s (as am I so I feel i am somewhat of an expert on girl thought process at this age) and it is not all that uncommon to become intimate on 1st or 2nd date… however, your lithmus test of 3rd or 4th is probably a very good indicator of whether or not she is interested…

  448. Koi says:

    Hi NYC SB!

    Sorry! Important part that I left out telling you. He suggested we go shopping followed by dinner where we would discuss arrangement. So, he planned the order of the events.

    At dinner we agreed to a progressive allowance. He said he could give me the initial amount of shopping and spending money and as we got to know each other the relationship and allowance would progress. That all sounds fine, but I’m afraid all we’re going to end up doing is window shopping like Kit Kat said!

  449. NYGent says:

    Hi I’m new to the blog, and a couple questions after some background:
    I’m 45+ and recently started SA arrangement with an early ’20s girl. At our initial lunch meeting we agreed quickly on her $5K allowance (plus extras); I gave her $1K and treated her to a little shopping spree, no strings attached, both as a good faith gesture of seriousness. Told her she could keep the $ and shoes if she changed her mind, but she assured me that she was interested and we’d get along quite fine. Second date went well; at dinner I fronted most of the rest of the first month’s allowance, followed by a little makeout back at my (nice) apartment. I told her in advance of going to my place that I was willing to go slow at first and not “do everything” until she was totally comfortable with me and some real feelings started to develop. It may sound corny but given how young she is I feel a sense of responsibility to make sure she’s “ready” before we really get intimate, plus I don’t really enjoy it if I sense the SB isn’t at all into me physically (I had one of those situations already).
    My question: how long is reasonable to wait to see if true chemistry develops, at least to the point where she is willing to sleep with me out of some level of desire as opposed to purely a sense of obligation (or fear of my poofing)? Another date? Two? Or should I just adhere to the old “play it by ear” theory? In a “normal,” non-SA situation I would have to conclude that nothing is there if we haven’t achieved some level of physical intimacy by the third or fourth date, but because of age disparity maybe I should be a little more flexible in terms of a timetable? She is ravishly beautiful, and while no one would call me devilishly handsome, I’m no troll and am reasonably cute for a guy my age. I am and have been a total gentleman; is there a danger that if I wait TOO long before going at it that she will think all I want is a platonic companionship (which isn’t the case)? I’ve made it clear I hope to become intimate “soon enough” so I don’t think she could reach that conclusion — but any and all observations/comments/suggestions welcome. Thanks in advance . . .

  450. NYC SB says:

    Koi – I didnt catch the part where you two agreed to be in an arrangement… you are in the right about him asking you to go shopping and then getting you nothing… however, if you have not agreed in an arrangement its unfair to be asking for sugar… we get upset then a man tries to sleep with us without being in an arrangement… well im pretty sure the SDs get upset when an SB asks for allowance and there has been no agreement set yet…

  451. Citrus says:

    @kit-kat, lol! I just realized that I used “diagnose” lol!! I have been living and breathing nursing school for over a year..my bad.. but real SDs are hard to come by, the patience might be worth it if he proves himself next time. My 0.02 cent : )

  452. Koi says:

    And Citrus

    As far as the strip club thing goes, different people have different likes. If you are comfortable in the situation, that is your choice. However, if it makes you uncortable, let him know. If he cares, he will not want to put you in a situation you are not okay with. It is a strange request IMO, but from what you said about him paying you to be arm candy, that’s a good sign. Most of the men here try to get sex on the first date!

  453. photogirl
    It is all good, I have had someone message me that I should leave my son with a ‘caretaker’ so that I can give him a good time for a few weeks.

    Pissed me off, but i did wait till i cooled down before i politely told him no thanks.

  454. Koi says:

    Thanks Citrus,

    I will give him one more chance to redeem himself. The dinners have both been at very nice restaurants. Both being about $400 each. So, I know he has the funding, but not sure how willing he is to share it!

  455. or we can diagnose all the flags hes throwing !!

  456. Koi says:

    Thanks BabyKT and Kit Kat.

    I really had high hopes, too. When he tries to contact me again, I’m going to tell him, I will only meet when I see the fund$ in my account. Shopping and gifts are too iffy. Cash is straight.

  457. Citrus says:

    Koi,
    he seems to understand the concept but as you correctly diagnosed, he has a problem following through. If he really has all that money, he should not be worried about getting you a pair of earrings. It’s earrings and on a second date. I’d say maybe give him one more chance, and see if there’s a pattern there. If he does it again, then i’d bounce!!

  458. NASCAR is on!!!
    Koi that wasnt a cut to you at all! my SASS-MOUTH gets the best of me when people like to Fake! tell his behind to go to The Rodeo because hes a Clown!!

  459. Citrus says:

    My responses are taking so long to post. hmnn!!!

  460. Citrus says:

    NYC SB and Baby KT–I guess I never looked at it that way. I don’t know how I feel about that though. lol. I might come off as a prude if i’m just sitting there looking embarassed while some naked female is gyrating in front of me, lol.

    Kit-Kat–I thought about that too! lol. and I know the answer to that. I’m just trying to figure out how to give the guy his money’s worth, so to speak, since we are not really sexually intimate, without making myself uncomfortable.

    I guess I might give it a try.

  461. Ladies some of theses SD have become subistute daddies to Women who cannot priortize their obligations!
    these SD maybe wonderful but if they See a child they may balk and run!
    BEfore they get to know you!
    I have itty bittys but I do not mention them , maybe just to say I have to get a sitter so give me an hour heads up! and That is it, I am a proud parent and most of the gals seen my itty bitty’s but
    as VC said I am a single mom or just tell at the point when you are Reaching an arrangement!

  462. BabyKT says:

    Kit-Kat – Haha! Seriously!

  463. Taz says:

    Hey guys – I am curious – is there any way to change my password on the site?

  464. Koi perfect example of you wasted dinner on/with a wealthy idiot!!
    what a fool he is taking you to the Stores for a little Shopping, and HE invited you!! lawd!!…. what Window shopping, tell him lets go to the hotel so you can check out the rooms and give his @$$ a brochure!! window shopping! lol

  465. Citrus says:

    I agree that having your kids in your pics might leave a bitter taste in some SD’s mouth. Personally, I wouldn’t even introduce them into the convo with a POT until we’re close to an arrangment. At that point, we’ve established that there’s chemistry, our schedules won’t conflict, and everything is good, etcc. I think it ephasizes that my kids are there, but it’s inconsequential to our arrangement. just my 0.02 cent.

  466. BabyKT says:

    Koi – That’s a yellow flag.. Why would he ask you to go shopping then? Maybe he isn’t what he says he is?

  467. NewTXSB says:

    “Summer says:
    NewTXSB – was that by any chance Dr. Tony in Dallas?”

    No…these 2 guys weren’t in Dallas.

  468. Citrus I don’t blame you !! can you ask him to go to a male club before hand?? I havent ever heard of that before myself but to each daddy his own!

  469. BabyKT says:

    Citrus – Weird date? Unconventional? Yes, but I doubt it has much to do with his desire to stare at other girls’ assets. I think it might have something to do with his fantasy of YOU being around and looking at them.

    (My guy friends dragged me to a strip club with them a few years ago for fun, and the girls on stage loved having a girl in the audience. I was a little embarrassed, of course, but they would come and do little dances, flirt with me, etc. The men in the audience loved it, and two actually walked over and put money next to my side of the table so that the dancers would dance “to me”.)

    Maybe it’s his way of taking things to the next level still without pursuing a relationship..

  470. Koi says:

    Good afternoon all Sugar Family

    :: sigh ::

    So, had a pot SD who asked me to meet them for shopping followed by dinner! We go to the shops and he asks what I want to shop for, and I said a charm or earrings from T&Co. So we go in and I point out several items that I like but he doesn’t volunteer to get me anything! This man goes on about his expensive 20K watch, his cars, his homes, his multimillion dollar business, but he can’t buy me something to show he’s serious?

    We go to dinner and he says he has been burned in the past by pot SB’s who want all these shopping trips and then dissapear. I’m like, “It was your idea to go shopping, and we didn’t get anything, lol.” He says he’s not cheap, but he’s not going to spend 1K on someone on the second date.

    This guys talks a lot about money and about the girls/women in his past that have potentially used him. I think he is too jaded and insecure to be a good SD. What are your thoughts?

  471. photogirl says:

    Lady 8 – I did not mean to come across as hiding them, just that I prefer to give someone a chance to know ‘me’ rather than judging me right of the bat just because I have children. But again, as with many things, it comes down to what you feel comfortable with doing.

  472. I just got a strange message.

    Wondering if anyone has gotten propositions like this…

    A SD and his wife are looking for someone to hang with and for the both of them to spoil and pamper.

    Are they suggesting what I think they are suggesting? They say that I sound like ‘fun’

    I am naturally suspicious, and trying not to get too offended. But that has got my radar in gear as a no-no.

  473. NYC SB says:

    Strip clubs are fun! Im sure he will enjoy more seeing you get a lap dance from the girls 😉

  474. Citrus says:

    Good Afternoon/morning etc.. ladies and gents
    I have been seeing a gentleman for a while now, no sex or anything more than a kiss and making out, I get paid just to be his armcandy around town, till he feels he’s ready to start pursuing a relationship. He is asking me to go with him to a strip club and I can’t make much sense of it. I can’t imagine myself having a good time while the guy i’m with is staring at naked boobs and asses, even if it’s not a conventional relationship. I don’t really consider myself the jealous type, but it doesn’t really sit well with me. Am I been unfair?
    Has anyone ever accompany their SD to a strip club? why? How was the experience? additional advice is appreciated as well.

  475. AtlNicole*389079* says:

    Thank you so much everyone for all the advice yesterday. I am heading out to Taste Atlanta for a couple hours and then stop at a mall on my way home. It is warm and Sunny here right now and I am loving this last taste of Summer. I am gonna have to start on the whole mani/pedi thing too. I work with my hands a lot and it was never worth it in the past. Especially bartending, since it ruins your nails faster than any other job I have had.

  476. Sincere I know!!!!! you didnt say something about Racing!! you may have just Regained your post as my Favorite, eventhough I am a NASCAR gal anything on wheels works!

  477. True babykt

    I do think mentioning it is being honest as having a child/children is a part of who you are.

    But to have photos is a bit much.

    But do SD’s actually expect you to hide the kid away. As they don’t want to ‘Deal’.

    I mention mine, and if they do expect me to put him away then I don’t think they are worth my time., and will tag them as losers.

    So such topics will always be a double edge sword, and very sensitive.

  478. BabyKT says:

    Regarding Akris… Whoops, just looked at the prices, can’t afford it : (

  479. VillaCypris *396153* says:

    Hi BabyKT –

    it’s not very well known in the United States. As I mentioned, there are no screaming logos, but people can see that you’re wearing something very fine….. good stuff! :)

    ciao

  480. BabyKT says:

    Villa – This is the first time I’ve heard of Akris – AMAZING! It might be my new thing!

  481. VillaCypris *396153* says:

    Yea photogirl. I could hear the cars from two miles away, so up close it was intense!

    I’m off to watch the game.

    Have a good afternoon all!
    x

  482. BabyKT says:

    It’s definitely a double stereotype. While I don’t condone posting pictures with children on these types of sites at ALL, when you see a photo of man with his kid – he suddenly seems “gentle, loving, caring..”; when you see a woman doing the same – “it’s a problem to deal with”. For a woman, making a note of the child in the profile might be a better option.. but she has to do so with an understanding that some men will pass up on an opportunity to contact her.

  483. AtlNicole*389079* says:

    Flo Rida- I am def going to Taste of Atlanta. It came highly recommended by a lot of my friends. I know Atlanta has a ton of great restaurants, but traffic is so bad that most of us who grew up here prefer to stick to the suburbs. It can take hours just to drive across the city at times.

  484. photogirl says:

    Speaking of racing… I did attend the 12 hours Sebring. It was a first for me and had a great time. I agree Villa, although we had an RV right on the course…that ‘screaming’ as they came around the corner was an experience!

  485. VillaCypris *396153* says:

    Regarding clothes…..

    one of my favourite designers is AKRIS of Switzerland. On par with Chanel, those clothes are elegant, but understated, no screaming logos, made from the finest fabrics, with exceptional workmanship and design.

  486. photogirl says:

    NC Gent – See… ‘freaks you out’ but does it also freak you out when they mention it in the profile(minus the photos of course)? Same goes for the men who post pics with their children. I don’t understand how anyone, man or woman can post photos of their children on any type of dating site.

  487. NC Gent says:

    Welcome to the blog New and KT. As an SD, I skip by the SB profiles that show mom and the kids. Maybe I am being close minded, but it kind of freaks me out… plus why in the hell would you be posting your kids pics on a site like this – it shows the SB lacks common sense IMHO.

  488. VillaCypris *396153* says:

    Thanks, NCgent! Go Vikes!

    Yeah, I forgot to add….

    “WHEN we get married, I don’t want you to work. I want you to stay home with our children.”

  489. New (kinda) Here! says:

    Thank you The Lone Gunman, Photogirl, and OC Sugarbaby for your advice and insight! I think I’ll wait until tomorrow and then email him to see if he’s still interested.
    I agree with you Lady8 on the writing that you have a kid in your profile thing. I don’t have a kid of my own, but I don’t see any reason to advertise the fact that you do. It isn’t like you’re expecting a potential SD to spend the time with you AND the kid. It’s simply another facet of who you are that doesn’t necessarily need to be brought up immediately.

  490. BabyKT says:

    Hi,

    I’m new to the blog and have been reading everyone’s comments for the past few days, anxiously waiting for my chance to pitch in! I was actually going to wait until a new discussion, but saw the recent debate and couldn’t resist..

    I agree with Realistic SD, and feel that proper dress code is something you should consider, regardless of age. Being young gives you more of an excuse to flaunt your features, but is not an excuse to let it all hang out. For example, I’m 22, in school, but have a clear understanding of the differences between frat party, club, and restaurant dress codes. When it comes to going to a restaurant, you can look contemporary, sexy, and elegant at the same time. I usually try to choose if I’m going to show off the top part (cleavage, shoulders and arms, or back) or the legs (with something, even when ultra-short, still fully covering my butt).. Sometimes it’s a tough choice, so when in doubt, bring a cardigan : )

    I hope everyone is having a good sunday.

  491. NC Gent says:

    and whoooaaaa I think alpha male better hire a hooker because that may be the only woman who would put up with that kind of crap. Even a hooker wouldn’t put up with that for more than a few hours I bet.

  492. Flo Rida says:

    AtlNicole – if u want a cheap education on dining go to Taste of Atlanta – it’ll cost $30 entrance plus parking but you get to taste lot of tasting menus from lots of restaurants. If you can spare the money think of it as a sugar investment. look it up online – it runs 11am – 6pm – come hungry

  493. Villa, OC

    ROFL no kidding, Vegas has gotten record lows and this year it never made it over official 120 for more then 2 days.

    And I had some liberal news person come to me at the park saying did I want an interview stating how hot it was. (we had a record low that day for summer)

    if it gets any warmer I will have to invest in a parka. *winks*

    Have fun with football sunday. My sports of choice are horses and cars.

    Maybe I should just do a blurp of single mother. As I have that and a blurb on how we love taking my rx-8 out on drives.

    I too am looking for a companion, and not a father.

    I am still hoping his will get his act together, and help for his illness so that my son can have his real father in his life without hurting him. *one can only hope*

  494. NC Gent says:

    and hi VC — hope your Vikings win — I am a Packers fan, but route for the Vikings now because of Favre :)

  495. VillaCypris *396153* says:

    He is a self-proclaimed “super ALPHA male”…. worth $100 million plus…. blah blah

    I told him up front – I am impressed with the PERSON, not the wealth or lineage. And that I could’ve dated many “billionaires” in Monaco, but if they were assholes, no way.

    Great wealth does not imbue “class” upon a person, that is for certain.

  496. NC Gent says:

    Thanks Photogirl :) OC — we caught 47 mahi mahi, 12 tile fish, 7 wahoo, 3 sailfish, and 2 sharks — we released the sailfish and sharks. It was a blast!

  497. Taz says:

    Lmao @ VC!!!!

  498. VillaCypris *396153* says:

    Here is an offer that I was quite happy to REFUSE!

    Someone in a big city in Canada, claims to run a company with 20,000+ employees, and LOVES SEX. In the process of getting a divorce, so for the next four months it will be a “sexual relationship” only.

    Talked to him on the phone twice, emailed some, and over and over,

    “are you going to have sex with me?”

    And….

    “this is the deal. If you come to visit me in (canadian city) I expect you to f**k me. I am going to keep you naked in the hotel room for the entire weekend.”

    “I love sex. I am horny for you. If i don’t get enough sex from my woman, I will cheat on her. No doubt.”.

    So……

    I thought I sent quite a nice email, better than he deserved –

    “With all due respect, sometimes, based on your comments, it seems like you are looking for a “lady of the night” versus trying to establish a connection with someone you’d like to have a relationship with..

    I understand how important sex is to you… and i’ve also made it quite clear that I do not “fuck” people for the hell of it, nor do I fuck on demand, or fuck people that I know nothing about.

    We’ve never met, I don’t know your name, anything about you, nothing. I’ve never even seen a photo of you.”

    The point is clear.

    Seriously though????????

    WOW.

  499. photogirl says:

    NC Gent – Not too fond of Orlando myself but try to have a great time!

  500. VillaCypris *396153* says:

    OC – you betcha! 😉

    I’ve never seen snow this early in the year before… YIKES! Must be that “global warming” in action *rolls eyes*

    Well…. the Vikings game just kicked off…. and the Twins/Yankees play tonight… big day for minnesota sports!

    Enjoy the bacon!

  501. photogirl says:

    Lady 8 – I am a single mother but I do not put that on my profile. The reason? Because it tends to scare men off. From my experience some think that you are looking for a daddy for them! I am not looking for a father for them, they have one and he is active in their lives. I do not hide the fact that I have children. They are VERY important in my life. If the pot asks if I have children, of course I am honest. I just don’t feel the need to post it on my profile.

  502. NC Gent says:

    Hello BG, OC, NYC SB, FLO, PhotoGirl, my fellow SDs, and the newbies. I have been kind of AWOL — super busy at work and goofing off a bit.

    I hope all of your sugar worlds are sweet. Next week going to be in Orlando woohoooo I really don’t care for that town though — too much commercialism. Hope everyone has a great week!

    • OCSugarbaby says:

      Hi NC: Did you catch any fish?

      Villa! What’s on tap for today’s activities? My Mom sent me a picture yesterday of the first snow fall in WI! The yard was covered in about an inch of snow!

      Ok, I am off to make pancakes and bacon! Can’t get it out of my head now that I brought it up!

  503. VillaCypris *396153* says:

    Good day all – :)

    SincereSD says:
    October 11, 2009 at 11:13 am
    VC, I’m surprised you won’t have a SD. I would have scaled the himalayas (figure of speech) for a woman who is as intelligent and good looking as you and loves for golf/F1 help as well.

    WOW! Thank you!! That’s quite nice of you to say 😀

    I think it is the fact that I am “geographically undesireable” which hinders SDs from contacting me…. even though I’ve made it fairly obvious that one, I am willing to travel, and two, I would prefer that…

    Yeah, I love F1. When i lived in Monte Carlo for one year, I was able to attend the Monaco Grand Prix, watched it from the lobby of Hotel d Paris, so as the cars came up the hill and screamed around casino square, I was about 5 feet away from them. Quite an exciting experience!

  504. Sweety SB~AKA BG*395953 says:

    Lady_8 397899 ~ I know doing a profile is so hard, I didn’t know what to put in there, or which photos, but I did get a lot of help from a SB, she is awesome and helped a lot
    Flo Rida~ i am being patient,,,, well…. trying.. lol

    • OCSugarbaby says:

      Lady_8: I wish I could be a wise advisor on the child topic, but I don’t have any so can’t help with that.
      But l guess it is like any other dating realm. Why hide something. If they don’t understand and respect your real world, they aren’t the one for you. I vote for putting it in your profile but maybe not too much detail. Something like “I am a single mom”…

  505. Thanks for setting me straight ladies! Only had good intentions.

  506. Though I do have a question.

    I have a son he is 19 months, and it seems that most here expect you to ditch the kid.

    What are your opinions ladies?

    He is an integral part of my life and I won’t leave him out of my short bio in my profile. As that is false advertising.

  507. NYC SB says:

    Good morning sugar fam!

    Another day spent at work for me… Went out with the girls last night… Im paying for it today… VERY hungover… BUT I did meet a super cute boy 😀 YAY me! hahaha

    Im supposed to have a dinner date tonight… might cancell… i am sooooo tireded (yup worte that on purpose)

    HI Miss OC! and all 😀

    now going to scarf down a bacon grilled cheese sandwich with fries

    • OCSugarbaby says:

      NYC SB: Good Morning Sunshine! Hung over? LOL Nothing like a good pile of grease to settle the stomach! My favorite hang over food is pancakes and bacon! lol

  508. Flo Rida says:

    OCSugar – you are a wiser women than I am.

    NewSB – we love RealisticSD & we are a big family – but every now & then families bicker. In Realistic’s defense he has never come across snappy.

    RealisticSD – if my comments offended, kindly forgive me.

    Photogirl and SweetySB – be patient – good things come to those who are good.

    I have to run – catch up later.

  509. NSB

    Very well spoken, It doesn’t matter your age, so long as you don’t dress like you went shopping at the scissors expo.

    I shop towards discount designer and in the jr section, sometimes it is hard to find nice clothes in my size. I either have to by break my neck heels or get everything hemmed.

    I find that shopping at the outlet designer that I can buy very nice clothes but cheaper. So helps the budget stretch.

  510. OC- Thanks for the uplifting words! I am enjoying myself immensely! I’m in the prime of my life and have so much to offer, so I’m confident the right SD will be looking for his “Mindy”. “:-)

    Ladies, Imho… I’m going to step up and say you might want to give Realstic the benefit of a doubt. Yes, he wants a younger sb…and he should be able to pursue her. He was only sharing his opinion and an anecdote to support such. I do agree that decorum is realistic expectation for the serious SDs who want to pamper their sbs. What good is it to show off your young, beautiful sb if you have to sit in the back of the restaurant? a “lady” can dress respectfully, still show off her assets, and all on a budget, so no excuses!

    NSB…xoxo

    • OCSugarbaby says:

      New SB: Realistic, can take my jokes just fine. He knew what I meant. He’s a big boy, he can take a bit of kidding. No worries.

  511. Sweety SB~AKA BG*395953

    Thank you,
    I also agree, alone at F1 (real racing) not at fun as it could have been.

    And good morning Sweety

    I just re-did my profile as complete honesty seems to not received well. So I did a bit of editing. As I was raised in a family who loves cars I just said that but not anything specific.

  512. photogirl says:

    OC – As I also fit in that category, thank you! Although you are getting much more attention than I. Which is fine with me… as I am patient :) Glad to hear you are having a great time out there! How was dinner?

    • OCSugarbaby says:

      Hi Photogirl! I am doing great. My dinner with my SD was wonderful. We are seeing each other again today. Not sure what we have in store for plans, but the weather is gorgeous out to day so I am thinking outdoor activity! Maybe a nice long drive up PCH with the top down and take in the fresh air. I have already walked the canyon for a few miles with my Lab this morning. Oh my gosh, we were about a mile into the walk when this coyote came walking across the path about 200 feet infront of us! I freaked. My dog kept barking at it and it ran into the woods. So we just kept walking! Nothing like a little excitement!

  513. New (kinda) Here!

    And I think I know who you are talking about. After reading his profile I got so pissed off that I wanted to give him a piece of my mind. But decided that he wasn’t worth my time. As he says that he will only talk if you give him your personal information.

    So approach that one with a grain of salt. He sets my hackles on edge. So be careful hun.

  514. Sweety SB~AKA BG*395953 says:

    Sincere SD~ You went to Shanghai F1 race Alone, Wow never let that happen again, It was an amazing race too…. if ever you need company for the F1 races let me know,,,, i’m such a fan!

    Do you all think that adding that i’m a F1 race fan, football and so forth on my profile would be better?

    Lady_8 397899~ it does take a while to find a gem SD,,,, be patient

    OC~ you are lucky to have been contacted by SDs all over the states, I think it really depends on the location though….

    Hello sugars, hope y’all are good today…. Finally the sun is out here…

  515. Ok it is morning my time and after ingesting enough of my coffee I finally had a dawning as to pot. Potential right?

    Jeesh I feel a bit sheepish.

  516. Gemini29 says:

    Realistic SD says – “As for clothing, I think younger SBs should take into account the fact that dressing a little more conservatively than they are used to may be appropriate in some social settings.”

    Yeaaah. That story you told is a bit of an “oh no” situation. I also try to dress (especially on the first date) very elegantly, no excess chest or too short of a skirt…something very nice that shows off my figure but also shows that I have plenty of class. I think when I re-word my profile something along these lines might go in…I want to reel in a very classy SD who wants a classy SB not someone who wants just T&A.

    • OCSugarbaby says:

      Realistic: Wanting the younger SB to dress down or more conservatively… You pursue them for their youth then yet you want them to cover it up when they are in public. Double edged sword my friend. They will not feel comfortable in my clothes! lol How is my favorite SD this morning?

  517. Taz says:

    pot-potential :)

  518. Ok I am feeling a bit more noobish then usual. What does ‘pot’ sd or sb stand for. I see it here on this blog frequently but can’t think of anything it could possibly stand for

    Thank you Summer. I will keep a weary eye out.

    VillaCypris *396153* Same here I have found a SD either. I am guessing that it is going to take awhile, as I have noticed that there are unfortunately those at SA that are actually looking for cheap escorts and not SB’s

    SincereSD~ and it seems to be that the reverse is true as well.

  519. Flo Rida says:

    RealisticSD and others – Speaking in defense of younger less socially experienced SBs – can you imagine the comments you would get at a frat party, a kegger, a college football game, a beach bar-b-q. It would be you looking out of place and her feeling uncomfortable. It is you who are choosing young SBs who may not have the money or the social circle to go to fine restaurants. I know this sounds harsh but maybe a little sensitivity & mentoring on your part as to what the SB role entails would be appropriate. You have the money and the prior experience now ally that with some sensitivity & wisdom and you can broaden the SBs mindset. Sorry if this is preachy – I truly believe you are one of the best SDs on this site, also I fully realize that some of my postings are not always mature. No offense intended.

  520. Gemini29 says:

    Hi all! I would say morning but apparently its 9 minutes after morning.

    My rule of thumb as far as pictures go is never send anything out that you wouldn’t want your mother to see. All of my pics are safe “standard” pictures, nothing I would be embarrassed to find floating around. This also tends to stop the picture collectors in their tracks because I know they want scantily clad photos and thus I find the photos where I am the most covered up and send them off. *devilish grin*

    On that note though, if some guy passed my info and pics along to a friend, that person would be getting a very vocal and very angry reaming out over the phone. In no way is that cool or ok, personal info is personal and should remain that way between two people.

  521. photogirl says:

    New (Kinda) Here – I completely agree with TLG (except for his response to Sincere :P) Give him a few more days…and yes remember to not be whiney or a pest or pushy. Huge turn off!

  522. RealisticSD says:

    NewTXSB, there is no excuse at all for giving an SB’s number to another “SD” without her permission. Obviously the guy was not looking for a real SB. I have a separate pay-as-you-go phone for sugar-dating, but I need it because I can’t be getting random text messages on my regular phone when at home.

    As for age, I never thought people would lie until I hit the blog. I do search with age limits selected, and I have cut it off at my own age, but perhaps that is not very smart, as slightly older intelligent and attractive women would be totally fine.

    As for clothing, I think younger SBs should take into account the fact that dressing a little more conservatively than they are used to may be appropriate in some social settings. I once took an SB to dinner at a nice restauant and her shorts were so short and her shirt so revealing that it really looked out of place. They sat us behind a wall, and I figured if anyone I knew saw us, for sure it would look like I was with a prostitute. What she was wearing might be OK for going to a frat party, but not to a nice dinner.

  523. The Lone Gunman says:

    SincereSD says:

    Is it me or have other SD noticed that the best SB are here on the blog?

    Oh, it’s just you…..yup definitely you and only you! :)

    New (kinda) Here! says:

    He didn’t end up calling me though, so what would you say was the best course of action to take next? Should I email him again or wait?

    Remember that many of the genuine SDs are very busy people who are at times called upon to tend to business matters or other things on very short notice–or none at all. That may be the case here.

    You may want to email again if 2-3 days have passed to figuratively jog his elbow, but don’t be whiney or a pest. If there’s no response, go to your next pot and carry on.

    TLG

  524. New (kinda) Here! says:

    Hello everyone! I was a member of this site last year when they started the blog and now I’m a member again and I’m so glad to see all the comments! I don’t tell my friends about my SB life so it’s nice to get some reassurance from this.
    I would like to ask for some advice :)
    I got an email from one of the “certified” SDs and he said he was interested and wanted to talk on the phone, so I gave him my phone number (wouldn’t normally do that so soon, but I figured it was safe with him). He didn’t end up calling me though, so what would you say was the best course of action to take next? Should I email him again or wait?
    Thanks all!!!!

    • OCSugarbaby says:

      New (kinda) Here! says: I gave him my number because he is Certified and figured it was safe…
      Sweetie, just because they paid the extra $ for the certification of their income in NO WAY means they are SAFE! They did not certify their Character.
      Take your time and treat them just as you would any other gentleman. Use full screening and safety measures!

  525. G’Mornin’ All!!!

    My Two Pot SD’s… well they aren’t Pots anymore. So, NO Carolina, and NO Colorado…NEXT

    Hello to all the new faces!!!!

    ***SugahDust*** goes out to all SD’s, SM’s and SB’s

    Kimberly

  526. Hello friends!

    Realistic and SincereSDs: You brought up some good topics about the ages of sbs. I’m 42, but look and feel younger. I guess that puts me in the “cougar” category as I have dated mature younger men. I heard someone mention they add years to the profile age simply b/c people fudge their age. How firm are you and SD friends on the age preference? Have you had arrangements with sbs closer to your age? What were the pros/cons? Should I state in my profile that my age is recorded correctl?

    Any sage advice regarding sbs over 35?

    Thanks friends! XOXO

    NSB

    • OCSugarbaby says:

      New SB in SB says: Any sage advice for SB’s over 35?
      Hey! I fit in that category and I am having so much fun. I think that it is all hype pertaining to lack of SD’s wanting someone in our age group! My advice? Have fun and keep a positive attitude! Sugar dreams do come true for “Mindy” (Cinderella’s older sister). I live in CA but I have been contacted by SD’s from all over the US. So it can’t be that CA has the largest pool of SD’s looking for a “Mindy”. Don’t know the answer to that one but be patient and don’t let the Toads get you down! ~OC

  527. SincereSD says:

    The Lone Gunman says: Asking the fellow SDs here on the blog to chime in, do each of you follow the same personal code I do when it comes to your SB or pot SB, in that you treat any info you have on her as a Sugar State Secret?

    I always treat personal information as confidential items and expect potSB to do the same. That said, I rarely reveal confidential information until I get to know someone better and use the appropriate measures for screening.

    VillaCypris *396153* says: I’ve not really had an “SD” yet… it does take awhile to find someone worthy…. I’m quite selective with whom I choose to interact…

    VC, I’m surprised you won’t have a SD. I would have scaled the himalayas (figure of speech) for a woman who is as intelligent and good looking as you and loves for golf/F1 help as well. Can you believe I had to attend the Shanghai F1 race (VIP invite for pit suites) alone last year because my SB didn’t like races (and forgot to renew her passport)? Too bad, I don’t go to the twin cities anymore.

    Is it me or have other SD noticed that the best SB are here on the blog?

  528. SincereSD says:

    AtlNicole*389079* says: I am glad I decided to give him another chance after he stood me up a while back. I have much better chemistry with him than others I have talked to so far. He lives nearby and works just down the street from me, which makes it easy to see him at a moments notice.

    Congrads Nicole, good luck with your SD. So I’m down to one blog groupies now? Kit-kat can keep me pretty busy unless other blogger get tired of chasing Realistic.

    AtlNicole*389079* says: My pot SD says that I dress too “young” to go out with him and his associates. He wants to pass me off as about 5 years older than I am.

    I had the same problem with a younger SB I am seeing. I appreciate arm candy as much as every red blooded male but we get a lot of stares when out on a date. On a recent trip, I took her shopping to supplement her “clubbing” wardrobe with more “conventional” mix and match pieces.

    AtlNicole*389079* says: Everything is going smoothly. He told me to get a passport this week since he likes to take short trips to Europe and I have always wanted to go. He is also talking about going up to NYC soon.

    Traveling with you sugar friend can be exciting and fun but there are downsides as well. Make sure that you get along well enough before spending extended periods of time together. Also make plans for a rough itinerary and allow for some downtime or time alone. I have found that the first trip together can either cement the relationship or do irrevocable damage.

  529. SincereSD says:

    OPPS … correction to above posting. I meant to say:

    I would say that young age is NOT always reflection of immaturity …

  530. SincereSD says:

    RealisticSD says:: As I have said before, I actually prefer women in the late 20s/early 30s, but somehow on SA I keep meeting women who are in the late teens/early 20s. The older ones I think would have a much more realistic idea of what is expected. But what can I do with my married schedule?

    Realistic, I was looking for the same age range as you stated but found most SB on SA were much younger. I would say that young age is always reflection of immaturity as you will find some gems as evidenced by Gemini29, NYC SB, Nicole and some of other bloggers here.

    RealisticSD says: I have another pot, intelligent, hard-working, right age, but our schedules just won’t work. She works 9-5 M-F and my best time to meet is in the afternoons.

    Maybe this is another reason why a student with a more flexible schedule may be a better fit. Otoh, you need to get some hobbies or work later in the evening. I work long hours and often go to the gym or play squash in the evening so that’s the perfect cover. Find some hobbies or join a gym that will occupy time at night/weekends that will serve as a cover.

    Gemini29 says: Realistic SD – Maybe you need to start taking some “yoga” classes and develop a few new “hobbies” after work and on the weekends. Although due to the sneakiness of women (not on my end that is for sure, but I’ve heard of its existence) you might want to actually sign up for a few of those yoga classes and really pick a new hobby to start up.

    Hey Gemini, those are sound recommendations and you are one smart cookie. I belong to a squash club and I routinely make bookings for myself that my friends show up for … they get free squash and I get the perfect alibi!

  531. Lady 8 and Summer
    I do not know Who you guys are talking about but I was going through some profiles and I found a a “doom” and a DomDaddy.

    They Doom daddy kinda freakse me out when I first signd on he contacted me!
    the DomDaddy I dont know!
    but I am leary on both the one has photos kinda far off and the other has good tight Head shots! I hope if anybody does go to meet this guy they are catious! too many times I have heard the name pop up!
    and they both are down in the miami area!

  532. Claudia says:

    I am fairly new to this online SD/SB community, although I’m recently out of a long-term SD/SB arrangement… so thank you summer for that great information. Even though many of us are looking for the one great love, there are sharks we need to avoid! xo

  533. Summer says:

    “After all, if we as SDs ask for and require discretion from SBs, does not the same apply in reverse?”

    THANK YOU TLG!!!!!!!

    We have a winner.

  534. Summer says:

    Lady8 – as far as I know, he’s still on the site. His handle has been “DomDaddy” since 2007 and I doubt it has changed.

    New SB – there are a couple of websites out there with reports of fake sugar daddies and dangerous dudes. I don’t think we are allowed to post URL’s here so just google the words “fake sugar daddies exposed” and/or “personal safety for sugar babes” and you’ll find them.

    The search for sugar can cloud our better judgement sometimes – the guys might make a bad call or get burned because they were thinking with the wrong head. We ladies tend to let our feelings run away with us or get in bad situations because we’re too dazzled by the promise of “all that glitters” coming from a phony con artist.

  535. DorkyGuy says:

    Just chiming in to see how everyone’s doing… It’s been forever since I’ve checked out the blog.

    Quick scan through this thread, and it looks like there are some new faces… and of course SF SD is a fountain of sage advice!

    @NYC SB, I read something recently about many of the very wealthy moving out of NYC because of high taxes… I hope that doesn’t impact you and your SB friends in the Big Apple.

  536. lisa says:

    Good morning everyone. Headed out to work. Feel sicky this morning like i’m getting the flu.

  537. The Lone Gunman says:

    NewTXSB says:
    Sooo…..I just got a text from a “potential SD” I have never met! Turns out another potential SD I met last week gave his “friend” my contact info and also send him my pic! I’m soooo irritated.

    This is always the hazard when on a site–any site–that has interpersonal activity IRL as it’s goal. You’ve been given some very good advice on how to mask your real identity from potential Mundane world exposure, so I won’t rehash it.

    Asking the fellow SDs here on the blog to chime in, do each of you follow the same personal code I do when it comes to your SB or pot SB, in that you treat any info you have on her as a Sugar State Secret?

    After all, if we as SDs ask for and require discretion from SBs, does not the same apply in reverse?

    TLG

  538. Summer says:

    NewTXSB – was that by any chance Dr. Tony in Dallas?

    Would be curious to compare notes.

  539. Flo Rida says:

    NewTXSB – Clarification – if you call someone from a cell you can block your cell number in the preferences section BUT if he gets an itemized bill your number still shows up at that point in time so he can still find a number – BUT you can call from a public phone or as suggested a Tracphone. is anyone else up? ciao

  540. Flo Rida says:

    NewTXSB – Sorry occupational hazard – if you want to protect your # some thoughts: 1 Don’t give it out – you call them OR just give out email (you can always create a special email account) 2 Get a blackberry – treo – Iphone to track email 3 Get a TracPhone (inexpensive but you have to keep changing #’s) 4 Get a separate permanent phone # 5 Get an AT&T 1800 number with leader code and participant code – give out the participant code but not the leader code (you’ll be charged for the calls but hey everything costs money). In terms of photos sorry but once they hit the internet you can’t get them back. In terms of ‘group’ behavior – some men are just a-holes.

    SugarSB – sorry about your nail – I guess we’ve all been there – I keep mine short as I play lots of sports.

    I guess b-coz I slept all day I can’t sleep. I’m going to call a friend in Hong Kong and if I stay up really late call some people in London. Ciao peeps.

  541. SugaCaneBby says:

    NewTXSB: That was VERY disrespectful on the ex-pot’s part! I’ve had something similar happen to me when I was in a traditional relationship and it made me very paranoid about being out and about because I never knew what crap I might return home to. :( To alleviate the issue with your phone number being given out in the future, you should look into a handy service called Google Voice. I believe you can block numbers you don’t want to hear from and have them forwarded elsewhere.

  542. NewTXSB says:

    SugaCane:
    Sorry to hear about your nail. :(

    Sooo…..I just got a text from a “potential SD” I have never met! Turns out another potential SD I met last week gave his “friend” my contact info and also send him my pic! I’m soooo irritated. Now the potential SD I met, during our meeting he mentioned he wanted someone who’s into “group activities”(minor detail he left out before the 1st meeting!). I told him that’s definately not me and so that was it.

    So this guy sent a text today basically saying that his “friend” showed him my pic and how “gorgeous” I am and that he’d interested in “knowing” me. :( I told him that I’ve hidden my profile and currently am not interested in meeting anyone new. But I just feel violated that the 1st guy gave my phone # and pic to someone else w/o my knowledge/consent.

    Has this ever happened to anyone else here?

  543. well I cant keep mine either I have to do acrylics but that feels weird so a roc and a hard place is the town I live!

  544. SugaCaneBby says:

    Mr. Please-My-8-Inch-Long-3-Inch-Round-Friend found me on another site. I said, “We’ve been through this already. Not interested. Good luck with your search though!”

    Gah. That’s just disgusting.

    I adore bright polish as well! Neon pink, Aqua Baby Blue, Orange with black tiger stripes. My nails are all-natural but seeing as after about 2 months of growing them out to the wonderous length they are now, I’ve managed to chip my left thumb nail beyond repair. Drats. No shimmery metallic blurple french mani for me tomorrow. :( Time to chop them off and start over, maybe with a classic candy apple red. :)

  545. SugarDiplomat – Great suggestion for Thomas Pink. Their ladies line is “yummy”.

    It will compile your measurements, personal fashion style and recommended pieces/ outfits. They cover all price ranges. I tried them out and bought a few pieces…endless compliments and they were pieces I would not necessarily pick for me. They are a great guide to helping you pick pieces that are most flattering to your figure. I don’t buy a ton from them, but I have found their recommendations to be priceless.

  546. New texas Tazmanian Devil is soooo gourgoues!! oh I tried that color and …nope It is one I cant do, the goldish oranges fade ,or just dont lay right on my nail! its not enough pigment I gguess what I mean.
    and yes those nantuckets were pretty , opi needs to make Makeup in those shades Id have a better chance with the DARKS then on my nails , I cant do the darks on my hands .. OCD sorry!!

  547. flo you dont have the things to do it with or you need them just pushed and painted?

  548. Lisa you can do a french With neutrals.. pink and pink dosent have to be Stark white!! and now they also Airbrush the White so they can Get all the nail edge they feel appropiate!. and if you really want the attention put a tip or two on the toe digits! it is cute if done right!! a square nail it is a nice surprise to look at when you have on your dressy strap flats!! or flip flops!!

  549. Cynthia - 379371 says:

    NewTXSB
    No worries, I scoured each post for a good hour or two trying to figure out the same thing!

  550. Flo Rida says:

    TLG – The game is meant to get EVERYONE absolutely s##t-faced. SD ran into it in the Army, another game SD has is cycle drinking Belvedere vodka straigh from the bottle at nightclubs – you know those big big bottles – finally there’s ‘around the world’ where you drink all the vodkas one after the other Sky, Absolute, Chopin, Belvedere, Smirnoff, etc. I’m a party girl so I can keep up – plus I have some secret ‘countermeasures’. Told you being with him is stressful.

    NewTXSB – by ping I just meant write a blog addressed to me – ie write ‘Question to Flo Rida’ in the txt. If you write me an email I’l respond with the restaurant list on Monday.

    All – this discussion on nails is making me feel bad as I haven’t made time for my mani-pedi. I’ll have to do it Mon. ciao peeps.

  551. NewTXSB says:

    Cynthis:
    “NewTXSB
    I am unsure of how to ping someone, but to search using their profile number simply preview your own profile and replace their number with yours in the URL.”

    Thanks!!! *feels dumb*

  552. goofed – upper right corner

  553. lisa says:

    French toe nails, that’s creepy looking to me. I wish I could do something with my nails but I can’t even keep OPI polish on my nails for one day with the work I do. And have to keep them short.

  554. Two questions:

    1- how do you get the images in your posts (the upper left corner)
    2- Has anyone tried the new OPI acrylic polish? You’re supposed to be able to wear it on natural nails for two weeks.

  555. NewTXSB says:

    Cynthia:
    Yes, I do try to wear polishes that go with my outfits. I have a polish collection and usually change mani/pedi colors 2-3x/wk on my own. But the colors are still bright (btw, the outfit you described sounds gorgeous)

    Kit Kat:
    OPI does have neutrals but I don’t own any of those! In fact I just went and looked at my collection. All my OPI’s (around 30) are bright. Big Apple Red, Tasmanian Devil Made Me Do It, The Grape Fit, Louvre me Louvre me not, Got the Blues for Red….those are just to give you an idea. The *only* OPIs I have that’s close to being “neutral” is Nantucket Mist and Timeless is More.

    My nails are natural and I’ve never worn fake nails. Do they even do “french” on natural nails? What about toes? French on toes too?

  556. I agree Cynthia!
    Who ever said OPI is Loud?? I swear they do not have enough shimmer in the laquer!! lol but that is me talking isnt it! I am a bright aura all by myself!! lol
    opi is very buisness friendly I do like the caribbean collection just because I am a brights type of lady.
    I would go for a safe bet and say the french mani is a great safe look!
    and same for toes if you are in peeps or open. but I like deer valley spice or pompii purple. I hate opi Red! but anything a little pink or a lil purple I can do and its not too Stand out!
    If you were getting acrylicas you probabaly could get some artwork too like on one finger that was the tip color mind you neutral and subdued color and art!

  557. The Lone Gunman says:

    Flo Rida says:
    we were playing ‘have you ever’ when if you have you drink a shot eg have you driven faster than 150 miles an hour (yes), have you ever had a threesome (no) blah blah.

    I don’t think I could drink that much that fast.

    TLG

  558. Cynthia - 379371 says:

    NewTXSB
    I am unsure of how to ping someone, but to search using their profile number simply preview your own profile and replace their number with yours in the URL.

  559. SisyphusSB says:

    I’ve been off of this website for quite a while now, but I still lurk around the blogs every once and a while. This article was very topical for me so I thought I’d chime in.

    Have you ever been given an offer from a sugar that you had to decline? If so, why?

    Yes, just recently I was offered money, free trips and a very nice place to stay in place of my current digs. This person was someone I know in real life, not from this site. The most tempting aspect of this was the fact that our chemistry is fantastic and I could really see myself seriously dating this person, without any of the other stuff. Kind of a dream come true en peu. I am seeing someone at the moment and couldn’t bring myself to hurt someone I care about…even if the chemistry is a bit lacking. I also am very anxious about things that seem too good to be true. I’m not sure I would feel right accepting so much from someone. Probably why I got off of here in the first place lol.

    Are you more dominant, or submissive in Sugarland?

    Definitely submissive. My mind is a crazy, indecisive place sometimes so I can really appreciate the times when someone else is making all the decisions.

    Who do you prefer to take the lead in an arrangement, the SD or the SB?

    The SD. I do have a strong personality though (read: independent with convictions), so it’s hard to find someone who is at my level and will not be overshadowed. I like being in someone else’s shadow sometimes :)

  560. Cynthia - 379371 says:

    NewTXSB
    IMO, colourful nails are fine as long as the colour is in your outfit.
    And clothes wise, I have some very colourful pieces I LOVE and get complimented on a lot.
    Like I said before, I think a lot of it has to do with tying an outfit together, and making sure it fits.
    Example:
    With my bright aqua high waisted skirt, I wear a brown leather braided belt which matches my yellow coach purse with brown leather braided details. From the yellow on the purse I grab a yellow and grey cardigan, knott it around my shoulders, and a grey shirt to pick up from the cardigan. Than for shoes I wear a pair of brown leather boots.
    In that outfit I managed to pull off bright yellow, and aqua and still looked just fine.
    But it fits like a dream, and everything ties together.
    Maybe you don’t need a new wardrobe as much as you need to start putting things together that you would have never thought to do before.

  561. NewTXSB says:

    My fav. at Miyako’s is Bobby Maki and S&M rolls. But I will see if they have something called “boat” next time I’m there. They have one location on Westheimer and another one on Kirby. And yes, I do agree with you that the interior is a little too dark.

    2 Questions:
    1) How can I “ping” someone on this blog?
    2) How do you search a profile using #’s?

  562. Flo Rida says:

    RealisticSD – you have to give NewTXSB a clothing and meal allowance (above normal allowance).

    NewTXSB – Yes Uptownsushi – it’s overpriced but it’s good sushi – Miyako’s on Westheimer (?) is good – I like one entree that they have – something called ‘boat’ but it’s yummy – SD ordered it for me so I have no idea what it is – my only critique of Miyako’s is it get’s dark in there. I’m 28, but I guess i’m blessed. On Sun or Mon I’ll pull together a restuarant list with personal comments and email it back to you – I personally think Houston has the 2nd best (to NY) restaurants in the US – LA are more trendy than good food (personal opinion only).

    All – I finished a book today called Mind Gym written by Mack Casstevens a sports psychologist – it’s excellent in terms of training yourself you in how to think. As they say in sports, at the highest level the game is all mental and I’d agree (but to get to the highest level also takes a lot of work – Malcolm Gladwell).

  563. lisa says:

    I tell them i’ve already got 3 posted. The funny thing is most guys that request additional pics have 0 pics themselves. They are pic collectors, delete them

  564. lisa says:

    I would like to but have to wait till monday when i’m off. Tomorrow the same old ugly work clothes again.

  565. Rica23 says:

    Hello again to you all. I had a question on how to do a search using an email address. I wanted to see if anything good came up. Have any of you guys had people ask you for pics thought you do some on your page? What did you do?

  566. Happy thoughts…find your happy place with bright colored sweater and tights :-)

  567. lisa says:

    I had a very sweet goat named billie when I was a kid (no pun intended, lol) When my dad used to park the car under the tree to change the oil or whatever, billie wold stand up on his hind legs with his front legs on the front of the car. Neigbors used to borrow him to mate with their nannies but billie would just cry and go on when we left him and none of the nannies ever had babies by him. RIP billie 1976-1985 now i’m sad

  568. Awwwww…never fear! A black suit can go a long way if that will get you started. Besides, what better way for you and your pot SD to spend some time together. He can enjoy dressing you up and all kinds of conversations can occur :-)

    Anyone else donate a goat today???

  569. lisa says:

    NewTXSB I’m 43 and I love bright clothing too. I still shop in the juniors section. If you ever drove down my street on one of my days off (on my work days I’m in an uglymanish uniform that I hate) you would notice me. Not sure that’s a good thing but I dress for myself, no on else. If they aren’t paying my rent, they can’t tell me what to wear. I’ll even put on an orange sweater dress with tourqous tights and bright yellow shoes. I might make alot of people laugh at me but at least they noticed me, I can’t recall what they were wearing, probably something boring like tshirt and jeans, lol

  570. NewTXSB says:

    Gah….all these clothing suggestions are making me feel like crap. I’m in my late 20’s….but my nails (natural btw) are usually bright colors……and in general I love bright colored clothing. :( *looks at closet & collection of OPIs and wails*

    Looks like I’m gonna have to start from scratch.

  571. Cynthia - 379371 says:

    I completely agree with the suggestions!
    Also, neutrals make a huge difference, and they don’t always have to look so frumpy. Accents and the shape of the garment can make a black and white ensemble really pop!
    I am definitely part of the younger demographic here, but in my business casual wear, I can pass of as being a few years older.

  572. NewTXSB says:

    Flo Rida:

    I have no idea how to “ping” someone on this blog so I just e-mailed you.

    Haha…out of all the places you mentioned, I’ve only been to Little Pappasito’s! Gawd that’s so sad! I looooove Belvedere….The Sushi place near it, are you referring to UpTown Sushi? I’ve tried a few sushi places around here but Miyako’s is my fav.

    Hehe…RealisticSD is too kind. :) He’s meeting me on Monday so let’s see if he still feels the same after seeing me IRL.

    NewSB in SB:

    Thanks for that link! I’m also totally desperate and lost when it comes to having a decent selection of outfits so a site that like will help. I wish I had friends here I could go shopping with. I usually go by myself and always feel like a lost puppy. Now that’s its getting a little cooler outside I was looking at my closet today and barely found 3-4 outfits that I could comfortably wear at a decent place. :(

  573. Flo Rida says:

    AtlNicole – I agree with NYC SB and would also recommend the personnel shoppers at Nordstrom. Even if you don’t buy they are a wealth of knowledge (right Lannie?) and you’ll get ideas to ‘age’ you.

    NewTxSB – just ping me on this blog (unless I retire) or thru email at atllgw@ g place. Noe in the Omni is also good but lacks atmosphere, Otto’s is great for low key bar-b-q (George Bush senior goes there), Treebeards downtown has excellent cajun and both of the last two are VERY affordable, there are two boutique hotels downtown with restaurants that want to imitate NY but fail – I think one is a Jean Georges restaurant – those hotels have good bars though. There’s a place inside the loop on Westheimer that has great desserts. Lupe Tortilla and Little Pappasito’s are very affordable. There are two good restaurants on Smith St Uptown – forgotten their names though. There’s a great sushi place next to The Belvedere (which used to be a great upscale bar place). La Griglia used to be my fav but it’s gone downhill. Btw AVOID anything owned by Landry’s chain – too corporate. If you’re a hottie as RealisticSD says you should be spoiled.

  574. SugarDiplomat SD says:

    AltNicole – get some blazers, small jackets. And heels, always heels (for instance, pumps). You might also want to add a crisp dress shirt with french cuffs, either plain white or striped. I get most of my own shirts from Thomas Pink and they also have a yummy line for ladies… Google their site and then click on the “women” link.

    Earrings: Pearl studs. Maybe add a pearl necklace, single strand.
    And, the french manicure gets my vote too.

    But your choice of what to wear will depend on the type of outings so why not ask your SD what he thinks, plus ask him to go shopping with you if he has time.
    My current SB looks to me for recommendations, especially if we are going to functions that are part of my job (where, depending on the event she has to know if she needs to wear full length formal or if she can get away with using a dress that goes just below the knee). We also shop for clothes together a lot.

  575. I love Ann Taylor…then find some inexpensive trendy pieces to mix in with the AT stuff!

    I’ve been home unexpectedly this weekend…wish I had a few pot sds lined up :-)

  576. hello JoyNY!! glad to meet ya!!

  577. Joyeuse-NY says:

    East Coast, West, and the rest.. hope everyone is having a fabulous Saturday. Yes, formerly a lurker.

  578. Realistic.. I have a blog job for you and I can bet the others would like to hear this too!!

  579. NYC SB says:

    ATL – if you go to Bloomies or any department store and call ahead of time they can set you up with a personal shopper which is free of charge.

    Alternatively, shop Kenneth Cole, Bannana Republic, and Express for a sophisticated chic look while on a budget… I personally am an express girl… as I need to be in a suit pretty much every day 😀

  580. Lara spencer and her stylist is Anya starrrs? but the website is Theinsider.com there is a link to ASK ANYA..
    and Yes the make up counter suggestion is Dead on! I think the Sephora gals are pretty good and they are Free! the mac folks are outta sight too but Here it cost 25 dollars for them to make you up.
    check out that link you have lots of styles to choose from, but I think lara is partial to Dian vonfuestenberg*sp sorry*

  581. NewTXSB says:

    Flo Rida says:
    “NewTXSB – You are missing out – H has great restaurants – Tony’s on Richmond and De Marco on Westheimer are great – I also love Bond St (cool club). H has great restaurants – I’ve been to all of them – ping me if you want advice.”

    *sigh* Yes I’m sure I’m missing out on a lot…funny thing is that I’ve been in Houston for 5 years and the entire time have lived in Galleria/Uptown area. But it’s hard to enjoy nice places w/o $$$ since I’ve never dated anyone who always paid for me. I’m used to paying for half of everything so it’s a automatic reaction on my part to pick places/activities that *I* can afford. I’ve heard of those 2 places you mentioned but never been there.

    Umm…how do I “ping” you?

  582. Atl talbots are pretty Tame and ann taylor and Iam with you .. You dont have on a get up like Dances with the stars right??
    lol he should hush and be happy !! no but Seriously look at michelle obama she dresses nice, I would saythe lady on the insider I think her name is laura…. something she has a stylist that ALWAYS has her hooked up I never once seen her in a funky dress/attire! *I am gonna go find this ladys proper name!

  583. But keep in mind when shopping for a new ‘look’ you have to like the clothes.

    for inspiration take a look at outfits from name brand designers. Versace, Calvin Klein, and the like.

    Sometimes Charlot Rouse has some nice timeless pieces.

    O and I agree Kenneth Cole have nice clothes and awesome boots. To spread your money you can see if where you are has an outlet of last years fashions. That way you can really stretch your dollar and concentrate of getting more clothes and items.

  584. AltNicole – A blazer dresses up anything from jeans to a skirt. I’m sure he loves your legs, so just add a blazer and nice cami/ tank to the skirt. Boots/ heels are always dressier. If you don’t already, french mani/pedi tend to be preferred over bright/ bold colors.

    I have a black fitted jacket that falls to just below my hip. I get a ton of compliments and it goes with everything. I hope this helps!

    One last thought…visit the make up counter and see if they have any suggestions.

  585. Koi says:

    Hi AltNicole!

    Buy clothing from Kenneth Cole New York online. It’s simple and classic, yet very affordable (they’re always having sales). So you can spend the extra cash on things you want to wear for yourself!

  586. AltNicole

    O that is a tough one. I have personally help a few friends to go shopping for a classy sexy look.
    I myself adopt a classy sexy low maintenance look. As I only fuss over myself when I am feeling low to cheer myself up.

    If you lived closer to vegas I would be more then happy to help you out.

    Let me see if I can find some websites that would help you out hun.

  587. AtlNicole*389079* says:

    I am guessing the 5 years is really for his own mental comfort, since he is over 20 years older than I am. I can’t imagine 5 years would make a huge difference. I was amused last night because he was finishing up med school the year I was born.

  588. RealisticSD ~

    As far as the SD paying.
    I am old fashioned personally and I believe that the man should pay.
    Having said that, I have paid before when I have gone out whether it was dinner or just an outing. It made me think less of the man, and would generally set off an internal flag. Especially when they invited me out.

    Now if it is a ‘surprise’ and something that is planned. Then the traditional role is nul n void. As that kind of breaks the whole surprise thing.

  589. AtlNicole*389079* says:

    Hola Sugars!

    I have a question. It may seem kinda silly to you all, but bear with me please. My pot SD says that I dress too “young” to go out with him and his associates. He wants to pass me off as about 5 years older than I am. I am guessing that this means I should dress more conservatively, but I am not sure how to pull this off. I usually wear skirts and sleeveless tops out, or a cute dress. I need ideas on what sexy 30 year old women wear out. I didn’t even know there was much of a difference. He wants me to keep my tattoos covered, which is not a problem, but other than that I have no idea what to buy. He gave me some money to get a few outfits, but I am stumped.

  590. MMM That would be a great thing to have. To keep everyone a little safer.

    mm I have a few dormant domains, I would have to look into seeing how to set up something like that.

    But not to use it to be mean for spiteful reasons so would have to be watched and verified. So that would be the problem. so Maybe a way to confirm the information??

  591. RealisticSD says:

    I worry about meeting for dinner at nice restaurants in town because I might get caught. It’s just asking for trouble. On trips, it’s a different story. I typically go for a low-key afternoon initial meet because it’s the easiest time for me to meet and it is too late for lunch and too early for dinner. I have actually been caught with one SB several times (way too many people recognize me), so I have become a lot more cautious over time.

    As for who should pay, it should ALWAYS be the SD in every situation. There should be no circumstance in which the SD leaves the tab for the SB. Now, as an SB, being prepared for such an eventuality is a reasonable precaution.

  592. I’m back!

    Kit-Kat…you crack me up :-)))

    I’ve heard it said before, but it sure would be nice if there was a blog where we could have warnings about potential sd/sb who are violent, fake, etc. Of course, the warnings would have to be legit and not a way to use that “mean girl” mentality to slander people.

  593. Waves to Kimberly.
    So I take it that this blog is more of a get together place where everyone uses it as a chat?

  594. Someone said it best earlier on in the discussion:

    “THE MARINES ARE NOT THE ONLY ONES WHO NEED A FEW GOOD MEN”

    I thought it was cute and needed to be said again…….

    ***SugahDust To All***

    Kimberly

  595. lisa says:

    Flo rida I live outside the loop over in the blighted spring branch area. Haven’t had the opportunity to try many of the nice restaraunts as I can’t get around very well on the bus and try to avoid neighborhoods I’m not familiar with. Uptown is a very nice area but not the part of Houston I see very often. Still you gotta be careful even in the nice areas after dark as the criminals have cars and can get around anywhere. Many times people have been robbed or assauted coming out of a nice place as anyone who looks like they have money is a target.

    Going to do housework now, be back later

  596. Flo Rida says:

    Lisa – I agree that parts of Richmond and Westheimer outside the loop are now less than desirable (after they built the new baseball stadium) BUT Tony’s and DeMarco are excellent restaurants in perfectly safe areas. I think both are inside the loop. Bond St is in Uptown (where all the trendy people moved). Though I haven’t been to Houston in 18 months have you been to these restaurants?

    NewTxSB – I guarantee you’ll like the above restaurants (unless something earth shattering has happened in 18 months). If it has I still have friends in H who could tell you the local scene.

    K-K – sorry Orlando attracts more touristy lower check averages. I’m sure I’ve had one or two nice meals there but nothing jumps out – I did however enjoy the zoned drinking area at nighttime downtown.

  597. lisa says:

    I’m giving my opinion on Houston from a pedestrians viewpoint, not driving around in fancy cars and all.

  598. To the Last two questions:

    I prefer the one I am with to be the dominant one; however I will not be submissive. I am not lesser and will not act as such, and due to my old fashioned beliefs prefer the man to lead in most situations. However I have no trouble asserting myself.

    And it would depend on what was wanted in arrangements, I would personally would want to have input and insight on what kind of activities were wanted, if they preferred me to plan the events. Unless there was a surprise that I had planned, but only after knowing that said surprise would be one that is well received.

    ~~
    Summer~ O dear god. Is that person still going by Domdaddy???
    I am not a noob to the online scene, but I am still horrified when I hear of these things. Wouldn’t the site management block his IP and post a warning?
    Or is that terribly naive of me?

  599. Lannie says:

    Have you ever been given an offer from a sugar that you had to decline? If so, why?

    I was offered to go overseas but felt uncomfortable with that at the time as I had only know my previous SD for four months at that point. Later on I did travel overseas quite a few times but trust and comfortability are so important in a SA and I have learned to not do something that I do not feel comfortable with.
    Are you more dominant, or submissive in Sugarland?

    I am submissive as I would rather the man take the lead in planning the events as I always work around his time table. I also find that it is often my soft side that attracts an SD to me the most.

    Who do you prefer to take the lead in an arrangement, the SD or the SB? Most definately the SD although I always have written down from the beginning exactly what I need in an arrangement so it is upfront at the start but I prefer the man to bring it up and also actually work together to make sure it is mutually beneficial. I am quite turned off my SD’s who want to go out for months or do try outs before an arrangement is made.

  600. Mina says:

    And I do agree with Flo Rida, Houston is a great city! Lisa just has a tendency to point out the negative side of every single thing.

  601. Mina says:

    Thanks, ladies:)
    NYC SB – I am in NYC at least a few times a month! Didn’t you have a billionaire SD too? I cant seem to keep up with all the news!

  602. Taz says:

    I personally have supported too many sbm’s in my life..I saw potential. In this time I have worked very hard and given a lot. They were boys (not gentlemen) who decided not to harness their potential and were not appreciative towards me…I am not jaded, just wiser…I am hoping karma comes back now though lol 😉 and I DO show my appreciation 😀

  603. I’m a Libra Kit-Kat, what can I say… the fact it made you smile means you know it’s a selfless act.

    LOL @ ECP- I might be considered a Mare to… But Hey, There Are Men that like us Mares- and they are usually Stallions themselves 😉

    Also your remark about the man having the balls to ask you.. LMAO too funny.

    Kimberly

  604. EastCoastFilly says:

    Kit-Kat: your right about not being left high and dry. This is why I would prob hesitate to ever travel by plane, even if everything was paid for, it seems scary to me. I always have a credit card or at least 100 bucks on me for cab fare, train fare, etc.

    I think I would fall off my chair if a pot asked me to pay hal! LOL. I suppose if he had the balls to do it I might just!

  605. Kimberly !! that post makes me smile!! how very sweet of you to treat a nice young man!!
    Hello to percy hope you are having a good day enjoying your lunch!!

  606. Taz says:

    i am with you ecf!! makes me feel all creepy knowing they have them :(

  607. Hello Flo Rida,

    Sorry about the hang over! Ugh. I like the ‘after the 5th-10th date’ I pay idea. I do that anyway IRL, simply because I do the spoiling. I like treating my friends and possible LTR’s to a meal.

    Matter of fact, I have a younger male friend who could actually be considered “MY SB” because of everything I do with and for him. But no benefits for the mama..lol nope not even sex one time!! And I do good just to take care of myself! lol (I help him because I see potential in HIS life.)

    Maybe that’s why I need a SD, lol, My SB is draining me.

    Kimberly

  608. What did I say about Flo??
    Flo you NEVER cease to amaze me with the Resturant list you have lady!! humm how about in Orlando got any Recommendations?

  609. lisa says:

    Good afternoon everyone. Back from work exhausted. Missed a really nice day weatherwise. It’s too late to go anywhere now.

    Flo rida Richmond and Westheimer are kind blighty now, even with the nice restaraunts, southwest Houston is the hub of gang violence.

  610. EastCoastFilly says:

    Thx Kim, I am past filly age, I am more a mare but eh? who cares, lol.
    Pause for rant…..what is it with all the D@MN picture collectors!!!!!!?????? I hate that my pic has been sent out so many times and all I get is a one word response and then thats it. What the heck do they do with them. There is no nudity at all or even a hint of it so I just don’t get it.

  611. All I was saying is that you as a SB should be prepared to pay your half of the meal,IF THE date Is or is Going south and you need to Escape it!
    IF he Makes the call that last an eternity=hes ditched !
    I am with Texas on this Stick to a place where you could afford it yourself.
    and I do not think a SB should pay for the date! in the Suger dating world it makes no sense!
    I said no one Should be going anywhere on there last 15Cents because it leaves them Vurnable and dependant on someone else!
    you new ladies go back and read the blogs particularly August there were 2 upsetting post on there that should make Every Sb think about A. being aware and B.setting Good boundries!
    I believe Even a Regular had a Very intriguing post!
    You new gals would be very well informed to Read the archives its full of info!

  612. Flo Rida says:

    NewTXSB – You are missing out – H has great restaurants – Tony’s on Richmond and De Marco on Westheimer are great – I also love Bond St (cool club). H has great restaurants – I’ve been to all of them – ping me if you want advice.

    On paying – I only pay after 5th – 10th date – it might be wrong but it’s me.

    we were playing ‘have you ever’ when if you have you drink a shot eg have you driven faster than 150 miles an hour (yes), have you ever had a threesome (no) blah blah. Vicious hangover (meaning I’ve done a lot). I’m awak now but am going out soon. ciao peeps

  613. Wait, Stephan might want to make it (the above note I wrote) it’s own blog discussion. So I better wait.

    Stephan, I’m referring to my next to the last post.

    Kimberly

  614. EastCoastFilly says:
    October 10, 2009 at 4:15 pm
    As far as who pays…always the man. I hate to say it but I feel the same way IRL. Especially on the first date. I have been very lucky to meet gentlemen or at least they know the first date is on them. PLUS if you think about the time it takes to get ready, the makeup, the hair, sometimes a new outfit…probably cost more in time and money than the dinner itself. And thats just the first date when you know nothing will happen. Its the upkeep later that gets crazy:
    hair, nails, body scrubs to keep the skin silky, facials, WAXING! costly and painful, and the list goes on! Paying for a dinner is hardly anything compared, LOL

    Nice Post EastCoastPhilly- Like the name to!

    Kimberly

  615. TIME TO LAY IT OUT ON THE TABLE!

    Serious message intended for all to participate if they so feel led to contribute to the best outcome for this decision I will have to make.)

    Based on the Topic- D/S Who and What? lol
    I responded first to the discussion thread.. this is what I will want to talk about.. but in another post.

    First, I have come to really know that the Blog is SugahLand and inside of Sugahland is a Beautiful group of SD’s, SB’s, SM’s(?) who give out SugahSupport to one of their Own.

    And as such, I want you all to know, that I am here for SugahSupport! Both GIVING and RECIEVING. Plus I bring benefits to the board: I will sprinkle much ***SugahDust*** to as many as I can, until everyone is in thier “Dream SD/SB, SM/SB” arrangement/relationship.

    I realized the above because, Right now I have to seek some SugahSupport from you with a very (possibly) detrimental (to me) Pot SD/arrangement.

    Can I come to here, or is there some place else I should take this discussion?

    ***SugahDust To All***

    Sincerely
    Kimberly

  616. EastCoastFilly says:

    As far as who pays…always the man. I hate to say it but I feel the same way IRL. Especially on the first date. I have been very lucky to meet gentlemen or at least they know the first date is on them. PLUS if you think about the time it takes to get ready, the makeup, the hair, sometimes a new outfit…probably cost more in time and money than the dinner itself. And thats just the first date when you know nothing will happen. Its the upkeep later that gets crazy:
    hair, nails, body scrubs to keep the skin silky, facials, WAXING! costly and painful, and the list goes on! Paying for a dinner is hardly anything compared, LOL

  617. New Sb SB no no I have the Cl purse *whispers wide feet* lol

  618. LOL- I’m envisioning an sb in her CLs running down the streets with a hottie officer in pursuit :-)

    Point received…no sb wants a record!

  619. new sb sb
    he should pay !! but if hes a fake those bets are all off! or unstable. and Really and truly I rather be already a good block or 2 down the road. be fore mr.psyco daddy realized iam gone!
    and the law isnt after me for a petty misdemenor!

  620. Nyc Perfect example. just saying be prepared!
    the other week this guy whom I was talking to pops up Lets go to daytona for a few hours this is Thursday morning.. all yall know The speedway is out there and Iam a fan! SO I really wanted to go, I thought to myself what if he wants to be intimate.. what if he dosent want to come back right away?
    so on wensday I get a e-mail oh I really missed you in Deltona, the Race was great you woulda liked it…

    the problem with that was The DAYTONA 500 is in Daytona and last week they were not there they were in kentucky?
    my friends What would have happen to me? what was his motive?
    never know and wont ever know.

  621. Kit-Kat…I totally agree that being prepared to cover your expenses is a safe and sound practice. It is empowering to be able to get up and leave when you know beyond a doubt the pot SD is not a match, or worse, a fake. Still, in my world, he’s going to pay the tab. It’s not b/c of entitlement. It’s about putting value on my time. If I had asked him out in a traditional dating situation, I would offer up my half. I might even offer to pay for lunch on occassion or prepare a great home-cooked meal with someone I have known for a while.

    I love your confidence and strength. You have so much to offer to us newbies.

  622. NewTXSB says:

    My 2 Cents:

    I’m very new to this and have met a few potential SDs. All have been local. All meetings have been very low key…2 meetings were just for drinks (the bill couldn’t have been more than $20)….some meetings were lunch or dinner (but again, low key restaurants). I have one meeting this Monday where we’re meeting at Starbucks.

    In all my meetings, I was in places where if need be, I could’ve paid the entire bill. Of course the men I’ve met so far, they shared their full name/occupation w/ me beforehand and were goolged…so I knew that they could *afford* to pay. But for me it was just comfortable knowing that I *could* pay if I needed to.

    During the 1st meeting, I prefer not to go anywhere “fancy”. I’m not looking for the SD to prove how much he can spend on that “date”. I’m interested in finding out if we’re compatible….so a low key *average* place works just fine. :)

  623. Taz says:

    agreed nycsb – and i wouldn’t travel anywhere without having two way ticket and some cash for incidentals and a hotel to retreat to if needed from a pot.

    of course i would always have my credit card with me b/c you just never know..but if a pot. that wanted me to travel to him wasn’t courteous enough to ensure my comfort – he is not worth it imho…

  624. NYC SB says:

    I agree you should be able to cover your own meal… HOWEVER, just bc i dont like the man doesnt mean i have to pay… he invited me out… he picked the restaurant… he suggested dinner… therefore he should pay… being able to cover your own bill is great in case the guy needs to take a call and disappears…

  625. margo .. lol I would Gladly go Anywhere that I could get back on my own… all I was saying is Legally you are responisable to the Resturant!
    if he starts acting like a class A @$$hole. most men will pay but its good to remember have your own ya cant go Wrong….
    and No dont offer to pay… this is only when on the Sugar highway the town of Idiot is with in 2 miles!! and its time to Exit!!

    again you all govern yourselfs as you wish!

  626. There you go then Cynthia… you know what you are doing!!!

    Nice to meet you!!

    Kimberly

  627. Cynthia says:

    Kimberly and Realistic SD
    An offer too good to be true would be when a SD will set out an arrangement and promise to do things like pay for rent, furniture, what have you, but his income could in no way support it.

    And Hi Kimberly!

  628. Happy, where are you located? I wanna see your profile! :)

    Kimberly

  629. Margo says:

    Kit-Kat,
    Everything is possible of course, but most of the men pay for your lunch or dinner without any problem when they invite you to restaurant. Would you avoid flights because plane crashes happen? But the risk is much lower if pay for your own dinner :)

  630. OC where are you .. thats my translator yall!!
    oc do you understand what Iam saying?
    what about the SD’s can the guys weigh in here

  631. Happy Lurker says:

    Just got out op the kitchen. Tomorrow I am having a great pheasant day out in the countryside in Belgium with some friends.
    Spent some time preparing a nice shootlunch. This time it is Thai cuisine.
    An Eastern style chicken soup followed by rice and aubergine/courgette cooked in coconut and Thai curry. Just delicious !
    SweetieSB. Give that man a goat, keeps him occupied.
    Kimberley, for some time I have had a look round finding someone who would suit me. I also have certain standards for an SB. Fact is, I do not need one to make my life complete. So I just stopped looking and leave it to chance (or is it fate). To be honest I already have something very curvy here with me to enjoy and stroke. It is my flamenco guitar.
    I like the blog though and cannot help adding something hilarious from time to time.
    AtlNicole, if ever you come to Amsterdam, let me know and be your guide. I will take you and your SD out for a wonderful oriental meal, a boat trip through the canals and a visit to the Van Gogh museum, or so.
    The only thing is, if you fly to Europe you will experience a jet lag and you should at least one day to recover.
    I wish everyone a splendid week-end. Got to get all my gear in the car and leave.

  632. KIT KAT got her KIT KAT covered!

    LOL @ Kit-Kat… You go Girl!!

    Kimberly is… lovin’ the blogs today!

  633. ok lemme Ask /pose a Question.. Just because We are Female we are Supposed to have people PAY for our meal? its a Right of passage?
    What I am saying is for the ladies Who are NEW NEW NEW NEW!!!
    if a man takes you to some resturant… promises to Fly you out somewhere Takes you somewhere. you better have a way to get back on your own minus him. plenty of Nuts and Jerks mixed up with the Sugar daddy’s.
    until a gal gets in tune with the Red flag Sensor better to aire on the side of Catuion!

  634. I got’cha Kit-Kat, it’s like, Thank you, but no thank you, we’re definitely not a match…TAXI! lol

    Kimberly

  635. New sb it is Completly about Setting standards!! I agree once you got the Feel of this SD then yes and See that he is the real deal but there are a lot of Jokers out amongst them.
    lots of Sb’s are in Dire straights and hoping against hope that the man is legit!
    I just dont go anywhere I have to depend on anybody to get me back
    and I wont eat somewhere that I cant pay my half! This is all in the Beggining of course!

    it is all about screening and not being taken advantage of.

    I mean what would you do if he only pays for half of the meal because he feings he dislikes you or some bull! I mean he could say anything he left his wallet what if his card dosent go through??
    I am not paying for his dinner of course but you better believe KIT KAT got her KIT KAT covered!

  636. Margo says:

    Kit-Kat, you have some privileges for being a lady – even in a traditional dating. And your time and effort worth something.

  637. NYC I was saying as if I wanted to get the heck out of there! I am such a tolerant lady but if my spiedy sense goes off Iam out of there! and quick too! I mean I am not going to see him again!
    There is a situation in the book that came up! and I just say if I am not intrested I would pay my half, simply because I dont want any confusion with the resturant and the civil authorites!!

  638. NYC SB- Absolutely a great point!! I have often thought to offer to go Dutch, but I didn’t want to offend my date. On a SD date, don’t think I’d have trouble keeping my mouth shut 😉 LOL Bring on the steak, shrimp and taters baby…and a Margarita.

    AtlNicole*389079* says:
    October 10, 2009 at 3:36 am
    Everything is going smoothly. He told me to get a passport this week since he likes to take short trips to Europe and I have always wanted to go. He is also talking about going up to NYC soon. I want to go soooo bad. I don’t get a lot of time off school, but he is fine with planning around my schedule. Doesn’t hurt that he a hottie either.

    AtlNicole: I meant to already comment on this one. Europe would be so exciting! Could take a while to get your passport, so you should get on it incase your Daddy wants to go soon 😉 And having a passport is always a great idea, for those ‘moments notice’ trips that require one.

    And NYC, I have always wanted to go there… I did drive through or near Albany on my way up to meet a Man in NH. (No he wasn’t a pot SD, it was traditional dating, but someone I met online through a dating site.) I drove 1600 miles to meet him. I did go to Nascar in Concord (I think) Exhilarating! Talk about adrenalin pumping… lol

    Anyway… sounds good for you. Hope it all works out!!

    Kimberly

  639. I tend to agree with NYC SB. Isn’t it all about setting standards? If you don’t like the pot SD, he should still cover coffee/ dinner, etc as a matter of principal. Just because we are sbs doesn’t mean we have to compromise. I see it as marketing…we have something they want…without the drama. They have what we want…resources, great companionship…again without the drama. I’m not claiming to know all about sugar dating (not even close), but I would hope that these basic principals apply.

  640. NYC SB says:

    Kit Kat – ummm paying your share may work in traditional dating… with sugar dating… NEVER EVER pay for dinner… i dont even make a gesture to pay… this may come of as bitchy but i mean it is SUGAR dating if he cant pay for dinner how will he afford allowance…

  641. Margo, I am gonna go back ad make a follow up comment to your not going on Coffee dates comment!

    again to each her own ! I had forgot to mention, IF I dont like a guy I pay my half of the meal in my case coffee/lunch/brunch
    dependant on the Resturant it might be pricey just to have a dinner that I didnt enjoy the company to begin with.!
    This is with the assumption that youd be going to a japenese steak house or something… something that Flo would speak of*because shes a walking resturant guide*

  642. Flo Rida and Taz,

    Thank you so much!!!

    LOL at SomeGuy: You are quite the character!!

    Happy Lurker, sorry you are having trouble with the sb thing, but way to go on redirecting your energy!! But, one question…

    What do you mean about an Sb being comfortable with a Guy like you? If it’s okay to ask.

    Kimberly

  643. Good afternoon all!

    I never thought I would hear about goats on thise blog, but what a fabulous idea! I love charities that are sustainable and diverse. Kudos to the people that put that together and thought outside the box.

    Congrat to those who are meeting pot SDs this weekend…it’s kind of a rush to kinow someone could be just around the corner. I’m patient, but these blogs help you keep the faith.

    2G2BT offers seem to be pretty easy to spot for me. I’ve only been on here a short period of time, but I let my intition guide me. Just like dating…right?

    There has been quite a bit of talk about the dominant/ submissive roles. I’ve had a few contacts where they were clear about the bdsm roles, etc and I bowed out. However one contact asked if I was dominant. After reading his profile, I decided to ask for clarification. I wrote back saying I wasn’t into the fetishes, but am a strong, independent woman. That was all he wanted. Seems like some guys like what I would refer to as the “bitchy” girlfriends…the ones that want to control the money, make all the arrangements, etc. Have any of you met SDs like this?

    XOXO

  644. G’Morning All!!!

    Happy Lurker: That is awesome! I’m proud of you. I was part of a missionary trip. Our first mission was in Guatemala. What we did was clear out land for them, built fish ponds, bought them chickens, hens and roosters..and yes goats. We also furnished them with seeds for crops. Then we taught them how to raise and care for all of this. It’s been 5 years and this particular area is much more prosperous than it was 5 years ago. No one is starving or without in that area.

    I’d love to go back!!

    So Happy, you did a good a thing!!

    Kimberly

  645. photo IM me
    Someguy the idea if the animals is so the family wont have to Sell the young lady into servitude or even that the family can be self sustaning. and A cow and a bull would reQuire land to graze I suppoose. and I havent an idea about that terrain . if it were a lot of Goats of course they would use the goats for meat!, the idea is to sell the off spring the Female offspring for higer cost,
    and then the young lady can choose or the family if that is the case as in for marrying off!
    who would be so silly as to attempt to milk a bull?? thats why I asked if that is what they call them

  646. Margo says:

    During initial contact guys screen us for whatever they are looking for, and we should determine if they are well suited to be prospect SDs. There is an analogy to a job search. A profile works like has resume. A potential employer wants to know if the candidate has necessary qualification and experience to do the job. A potential SD should have a financial ability and clear understanding what it’s all about.

    Without knowing that he is real SD material, you risk wasting your time and effort for someone who is not suitable for the role. After resume screening, a potential employer contacts suitable candidates for an interview. A first date is like an interview. We get valuable information from the way he looks and how he treats us. To listen him carefully is important, but we should ask him right questions as well.

    – What is he looking for?
    – Have he had such experience before?
    – Was it good or bad?
    – What kind of problems were there – if he mentions problems.

    Our goal in this step is just getting information to gain clear understanding on what we are dealing with. This is how I see things.

  647. Taz says:

    perhaps another couple of charity’s can take care of the pigs and cows 😛

  648. photogirl says:

    Someguy – I was thinking about this as well, but again they need space/land. Not sure if that is an option. Maybe a little community ‘farm’ run by the teenage girls.

    And also…welcome, don’t recall seeing you post before.

  649. Sweety SB~AKA BG*395953 says:

    Good morning all,OMG I just got this email…

    How many have you got already and how many more are you prepared to take on? What are you worth if all you are offering is sex for money? Can I have you appraised by an objective third party before investing? What is the fair market value for a piece of beach real estate such as yourself?

    Sincerely,

    lol guess this guy doesn’t get it…. wow,,,, too funny…. NEXT

  650. Someguy says:

    Thinking some more about the goats. But it may be flawed. What if some disease wipes out the goats? It would be wiser to diversify and get some cows, pigs and chickens. Now they will end up with a gazillion goats and no eggs and meat.

  651. Someguy says:

    Morning

  652. photogirl says:

    Happy Lurker – Great idea indeed. The scratchcard winning would make many teenage girls happy with a new goat. I am curious though…Do they allow you to purchase them for families as well or just the teenage girls?

    Good morning everyone!

  653. Happy Lurker says:

    Hi all,
    Thanks for all the postive comments on my move to buy a goat.
    I knew it would be good for a healthy laugh, but also for a surprised “gee wizzz”.
    It all started when a few weeks ago an acquaintance said, why don’t you adopt and animal and did you know there is a charity Buy a Goat.
    I looked it up and was amazed.
    Then there is a saying “the devil shits on the same heap”.
    I bought an English magazine and found a scratchcard in it. Just out of curiosity, I scratched some patches and found that three symbols in a row means you have won. It amounted to 4 k $. Now money found on the pavement should always be spent wisely. Then the goat charity crossed my mind.
    I read it up and checked it and found it legit.
    I pay 35 Euro and a goat is bought for 27 Euro in Uganda and given to such a teenage mother. But also the rest is meant for education etc.
    A goat is a small enough animal that you can keep simply anywhere.
    A cow or a bull would be too much too intricate, because you need to graze it etc. The idea behind the goat is that it functions as a micro credit.
    Unfortunately the name of the organization is in Dutch and their website is in Dutch. It is called “adopteer een geit”.
    I will approach them and offer to translate the website pages in English and French and Spanish, sothat it might get a wider appeal.
    Will tell you later about it.

  654. NYC SB says:

    ECF – your profile will never be orange unless you pay for it… however if an SB is a blue she can still send and read emails

    Ok sugar fam… im spending another weekend at work… then going to have some fun with the girls

  655. Flo Rida says:

    Rica – wiskey tango foxtrot – delete him (sorry i’m being mean today – usually I’d say give him another chance but be firm but I’m still hungover so irritable)

    Kimberly – good luck girl!

    K-K – morning – have fun with errands.

    Lurker – my charity has invested in pig farms in Asia – great idea.

  656. Someguy says:

    If you try to “milk” a male cow you will be in trouble.

  657. Taz says:

    Happy Lurker – Very altruistic gesture indeed! I like your idea for names for sure!…very thoughtful :)

    Kimberly – congrats and good luck 😀

    Curious..does anyone ever go on any other SD/SB sites?

    Happy Weekend everyone!!

  658. Someguy says:

    You cant have male cows !

  659. Rica23 says:

    Hey good morning to all!!! I am a little upset from the waste of time I experienced the other day. Tell me what you all think…a pot SD out of NY contacted me to ask if I was open to someone out of state. I said of course, I would try to see if it could work. He had no pics, but the first thing he asked was for my pic. I have two pics on my page so of course I was like can you pls send me a pic seeing that u have none! He send two, and I was like ok. I asked general questions like what are you looking for on SA and what are your hobbies? He didn’t answer any question, but asked if he could get a pic. WTF!!! I’m not stupid! I replied that I had no other recent pics other than what is posted. I believe he is a pic collector or something. His profile said he was looking for a date for events and possibly a friendship. What the hell???

  660. happy lurker I happen to think that is a Wonderful thing to do matter of fact! and how much does it cost to buy a goat anyway? it would be nice if she had a bull and a sow?*is that what you call a male and female cow?*
    I heard of this I think on the news and this is a great idea, hell some of them girls might be wealthy land owners one day I just think it is marvelous!
    and I am off this time!

  661. Someguy says:

    Hello, Happylurker what is the name of that charity organization ? and i figure bigger is better why a goat and not a cow ?

  662. hey Flo hope the hang thing goes away!!
    good morning all and I am off to do arrands!!

  663. Flo Rida says:

    Margo – I’m rather hungover this morning so my comments are ‘non compos mentis’. Apologies to Liv & NYC SB for the crazy emails last nite. I believe that actions speak louder than words so a SD is proven by his actions which need to be grounded, thoughtful, impressive and consistent. I don’t believe in offers TGTBT you can flush those out by saying ‘will you do x’. Finally asking him if he’s done this before & ask him real life examples of things that he’s done for his prior SB is a tangible question also if he’s emotionally congruent with what’s about to happen.

    OK time for some oolong & maybe a cat nap.

    AtlNicole – told you to wait – you are a hottie. hello to everyone else this fine morning.

  664. EastCoastFilly says:

    Ok, im confused, i made a new profile and added pics. They are cut off at the neck though. Doesn’t that automatically upgrade me to orange w pics???

  665. Margo says:

    What questions do you ask a guy to determine if he is a SD material?

  666. Happy Lurker says:

    Hi AtlNicole,
    Just got back from doing the week-end shopping and read you post.
    Don’t be sorry. I am delighted that you gave the kitten the name Jasper.
    Just more masculine, I agree.
    A famous soccer coach had this quote:
    “every disadvantage creates an advantege”.
    I this case the advantege is that I feel free to name the goat Sugar in hour of all the beautiful ladies on the blog.
    You also solved my problem in deciding the name for next month.
    It will be Nicole.
    And after that of course Rainy.
    Will send you a picture of your goat in due course.
    Hope I made your week-end a happy one.

  667. RainyStreet says:

    LOL@ Happy Lurker…you are too much!

  668. AtlNicole*389079* says:

    Sorry Happy Lurker. I was trying to avoid a name that was an obvious choice based on his color. Plus, he is a pretty girly looking cat, so I had to give him a masculine name.

  669. Happy Lurker says:

    Good morning from the other side of the big pond,
    Wonderful to read all the various strands on the blog and especially all those positive stories of SB getting that super SD.
    Got something surprising to add and it stems from the notion altruistic that was used several times. As I could not find an SB who would feel comfortable with a person like me, I am happy to say I bought a goat.
    No, don’t get me wrong. It has nothing to do with a Morroco lifestyle.
    I found a European charity that gives help in a small scale project.
    I donate a small sum of money and a goat is bought and given to a teenage mother in Uganda. It offers them a future. She can sell the milk and the first baby goat that is born goes to the project to help another teenmother. The rest of the goats she can sell and she has an income. These girls are kicked out of school and are not welcome home any more. Their only future is in prostitution ending up with deadly desease.
    I am supposed to give the goat a name. Since a kitty loving SB did not take up my suggestion to call her pussy Sugaaaaahhh, deciding on name was easy. I will be the Godfather of SUGAAAHHH.
    And no doubt it will make you smile to know that future goats will get the names of the blog’s SBs. Now which name to choose for next month ?!
    Decisions, decisions, decisions.
    Life is full of surprises and hilarious.
    You just have to create your own life that way.

  670. AtlNicole*389079* says:

    Everything is going smoothly. He told me to get a passport this week since he likes to take short trips to Europe and I have always wanted to go. He is also talking about going up to NYC soon. I want to go soooo bad. I don’t get a lot of time off school, but he is fine with planning around my schedule. Doesn’t hurt that he a hottie either.

  671. **AtlNicole I meant. Sorry for getting it wrong.

  672. Awesome ALTNICOLE.. Sounds like you had fun then. Everything going as hoped for with him?

    Kimberly

  673. AtlNicole*389079* says:

    Hello ladies and gents. I always seem to be on here in the middle of the night. Oh well. Saw my pot again tonight. We watched the Yankees game together and I (knowing next to nothing about baseball) totally called that homerun by ARod. I mean, the man has to earn his paycheck right? I got bonus points with the pot since he didn’t think the Yankees would pull off the win at that point.

    I am glad I decided to give him another chance after he stood me up a while back. I have much better chemistry with him than others I have talked to so far. He lives nearby and works just down the street from me, which makes it easy to see him at a moments notice.

  674. Looks like I’m going to Carolina… Finalizing plans tomorrow to go visit Pot SD before Wednesday! Who knows, we may meet Sunday or Monday.

    Super excited!!! He’s 38 and HOT, HOT, HOT!

    Kimberly

  675. I would think she really can’t except through trial and error… OR

    I would also think that if an offer that seems ‘to good to be true’ (that’s really true) was laid out, then the SD would give some kind of assurance!

    Also…perhaps the SB could seek the advice of her friendly bloggers before accepting or declining such offers.

    Just my 2 cents RealisticSD-

    Kimberly

  676. RealisticSD says:

    How can an SB tell if an offer is too good to be true?

  677. Jasmine says:

    hello everyone im sorry that i havent been online lately,the internet was cut off on me and i just barely paid it off…. i hope everyone is doing okey :) good wishes to everyone!!!!

  678. NewTXSB says:

    RealisticSD:
    “Thanks NewTXSB, now I know not to try to kiss you on our first date, lol .”

    There’s a 1st time for everything….you can kiss me on the 1st date if you want to…I won’t mind. :) Besides, if you’re half as charming in person as you are on e-mails, *I* may be the one trying to kiss you… *blush*

  679. Sorry about that Cynthia. What kind of offers are sounding to good to be true? (If you care to expand?)

    Don’t think I’ve met you… so hello! :-)

  680. Cynthia says:

    I’ve turned down quite a few offers; some were too good to be true, others made me feel as if I was nothing more than a prostitute.
    I am submissive by nature, so logically I am also submissive in a sugar relationship. That’s not to say I can’t step up to the plate when the need arises 😉
    And while I prefer the sd to take the lead, lately I have had no luck finding such a man.

  681. Peisinoe says:

    Villa – I am indeed! Sadly, I’m a west coast girl now. I love everything except the weather. Sometimes I get nostalgic, crank my AC and turn on my fireplace pretending I’m back in the north woods on a chilly winter night. Just got home and saw the Twins news…. good thing I have two bottles of wine in the fridge.

  682. Nite Kit-Kat! Have a great one!!

  683. hey all and good night all

  684. Awesome photogirl!!! Hope it works out. Mine is sweet so far, suppose to call in a few. Hopefully yours will be a Doll as well!!

    RainyStreet: I know the feeling. Just makes you melt, yes??

    SugahCane: Where there’s a will, there is a way. I believe you are strong willed.

    Welcome New Sb’s!!!!

    Kimberly

  685. photogirl says:

    Actually that should have been ‘morning’. And it looks like everyone is out for the night… hope everyone has a great weekend planned!

  686. photogirl says:

    Good evening everyone! Just got home a little while ago from a concert. Great show and they had us in a great location. Fun night!

    Kimberly – Sounds good! A Colorado SD just contacted me as well. Waiting on photos.

    I believe I noticed a couple new bloggers… welcome :)

  687. Good evening Everyone, hope Someone is still up.

    I have good news..
    A Pot SD who says he’d love to get to know me. He’s In Colorado and I am in Oklahoma and DANG! He is an Intelligent Hottie.

    BRAINS and a BODY= YUMMY and DIVINE Combination :-) I am very excited.

    Kimberly

  688. SugaCaneBby says:

    Hey all. Got another pot from TX traveling into the city…3 hours from where I stay. -____-;;; Just call me Ms. Geographically Undisireable. No car either. Was kinda hoping an arrangement would help with that. Can’t put the cart before the horse though, eh? 😉

    I’m off to make dinner now.

  689. RainyStreet says:

    Hello everyone! Hope everyone is doing well in sugarland tonight! Talking to a POT SD as we speak…it sounds like he wrote his profile just for me!~

  690. Taz – Thanks, good advice! Lots of ~*~*~*~*~sugar dust~*~*~*~*~* sent your way. I love Atlanta…sed to live in Marietta for a few years. Lucky enough to go to the Olympics!

  691. VillaCypris *396153* says:

    New SB in SB *395409* –

    I used to have the same attitude… but then I realised that people must EARN respect and trust… it is NOT a given….

    and things improved exponentially since then.

    Remember, you are who you are, you don’t “owe” anyone anything, and you should not try to be someone who you are not. If a man does not like you for “you”, then move on to the next

    Everyone has their preferences and predilictions… you are entitled as well. xx

  692. oops…goofy critters took over the keyboard! I hear what you are saying about respect. I don’t mean for it to be demanding or over-confident. I’ve always been of the mindset that someone has my respect until they do something to lose it. You could say my weakness is that most people do deserve the benefit of a doubt. That being said, I am cautious of many people who have contacted me so far :-)

    Liv – I think I like the idea of putting multiple locations. I’m going to try Chicago first.

  693. Taz says:

    New SB in SB – I am in Canada…1 hr from Detroit and 3.5 hours from Toronto…distance ‘seems’ to have been a deal breaker for some which was disappointing as I am available to travel as well – buuuut – it’s their loss 😉 I am actually speaking to one pot. from Toronto, and another from Atlanta right now and after being a bit down on my luck – hopefully someone sprinkled me with sugar dust! Be patient :)

    Make sure you say in your profile that you are able to travel, but yes definitely search and contact when someone peaks your interest 😀

  694. Villa – Awww, Thanks for the kind words. I hear what you

  695. VillaCypris *396153* says:

    Flo Rida – yep, the “metrodome magic”

    10th inning…. still alive!

  696. Flo Rida says:

    I’m at the Cigar Inn (private room) and the crowd goes wild – A-Rod just paid for himself. Sorry Villa-C but at least the twins do well at home.

    NewSB – there are no rules – you should state just outside of Chicago if you feel comfortable with that – you can contact SDs – be prepared for some rejection and crude language. in terms of how long – it can take less than a month to more than 10+ years (I’ve known SD for 10+ years – obviously not in an allowance for that period). ok back to the game.

    Liv – hummmm Memphis, Miami, LA, Atl, NY – you’re all over the place. Would love to chat but I also have an idea.

  697. VillaCypris *396153* says:

    HA! NYC SB – no way!

    I’m gonna move to UES and then you and I will enjoy Perrier Jouet Fleur every night after work… 😀

  698. VillaCypris *396153* says:

    LIV – never been to Memphis, though as a Virginia girl ( for uni), I had a lot of friends from there… sounds like a great town… “walkin’ in memphis”… a favourite song…. 😀

  699. NYC SB -How about an Appletini instead?

  700. NYC SB says:

    ugh… why am i still at work… someone please shoot me

  701. VillaCypris *396153* says:

    New SB –

    just looked at your profile for the first time… I love this line – I deserve to be treated with dignity, respect and kindness.

    This is *KEY*. Respect is NOT a given… it must be earned. You have a wonderful profile… the vibe I get is of a lady who is well balanced, well