8 years ago
Types of Sugar Daddy Relationships

8 years ago
Types of Sugar Daddy Relationships

Long-term-relationships (LTR’s) may not be what the majority of sugars seek, but over 30,000 profiles on SeekingArrangement indicate interest in long-term and/or committed relationships. Arrangements are always being re-written or expanded…

Questions from subettegirl:

“Do any of you do non-cash arrangements such a direct bill pay or gift certificate options? Is this looked at by SD’s as more time consuming and unfavorable as cash is just easier?

On average, do most sugar relationships last only 3 months?

Should you only date one sugar at a time, is this something that is usually discussed with a sugar or only if asked?”


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829 Responses to “Types of Sugar Daddy Relationships”

  1. sugarbabysta says:

    Hi all,

    I am really new to this and I have some questions.
    Is it better to tell him that you are single or married?
    Is it better to “play” poor or a woman with some money and eventual career?
    Thanks

  2. rennailpolish09

    I am new as well to a formal sd/sb.

    I think that they were hoping for a quick con. As no inteligent person will willingly give out such compromising details out to anyone they do not no. And good on you for bring that to their attention.

    So no not jaded at all, but extremely smart.

    From reading through these blogs I am finding that there is a majority of so called sd’s who are looking for cheap whores, as they are too poor to afford a real one.

    So congrats on meeting a real person. Sad to say it looks like they are few and far between.

  3. Chantell says:

    AS far as how long arrangements last, i think they all last according to The SD/SB’s wishes. I’m new here so I haven’t had a relationship yet, but this seems to be the general consensus. AS far as what types of payment are acceptable I would have to say anything that doesn’t leave a paper trail as this can be a hassle for both parties. I should also comment that if the SD is married he should not expect for his SB to not be having any relationships, although I myself think I could only handle one at a time as too much drama would arise, and that’s what SD’s are trying to avoid.

  4. i am new to the SD/SB world….i have met one great man from this site….and it will be an ongoing arrangement.

    however, there have been several men who have tried to con me in some way prior to even meeting. in my opinion, if a non-cash (direct deposit) transaction is to occur, both parties must know, and trust one another first. i won’t give out my personal banking information to anyone i have not met first, and that is what has been asked of me several times so far. as soon as i put up the red flag and brought up my concerns (politely) to these individuals, they snapped at me and got angry for being too “complicated”.

    am i jaded? or just cautious? i am trying to balance a bit of common sense with blind faith and it’s not easy in this land of milk and honey we call sugar.

    i have also been asked for pictures of VERY personal body parts before ever meeting…and when i refused, that person also got angry. then there was the man who decided to delve into his fantasies…not a problem, i’m not a prude….but when he told me he wanted me to make bowel movements on his face and went into paragraph-form detail about the act, i (again, politely) explained that i am open-minded, but not open to that. and (again), this person got angry and stopped communication.

    there was one other man….and he takes the cake. he set up a profile labeling himself as someone in the music/production industries…and he initiated contact with me. his income was very very high, as well as his worth….and his budget was higher than i had seen on this site. i was skeptical from the start. after about 3 days of many emails back and forth, he was screening me for discretion purposes….asking me many questions about “hypothetical” situations….and eventually, since he wanted to see more pictures, he allowed me to email his personal email address. even THAT was “recordrow@something.com” to go along with the producer role…but of course, i never got a picture from him.

    well, in our very last email exchange, he told me that he used to have an accountant set the arrangements up, and that since he had been scammed by someone before, he now has a “test meeting” before deciding anything. which would have been fine if it had been dinner or discussion….but he wanted TEST SEX….and then IF i passed, he would consider an arrangement. direct deposit, of course.

    you can imagine, that was the end of that ordeal. i even looked up “record row” in my area….and found an actual recording studio with that name…legitimate and well known. who knows, maybe he was for real, but there was no way i was going to meet someone who went to such lengths to get something that he could have gotten much easier with a few drinks and a little charm in person.

  5. Honestly Me says:

    You’re date shouldn’t feel any different than if you met him through a friend and hooked up, be yourself, have fun, see if you click and then worry about the details :)

  6. Xica says:

    This is my second day here. I am so nervous because I am young. But I think I deserve a SD because I am a nice faithful girl who loves to shop. What should I do if I even go on a date. I really don’t think I would I am very shy.

    * help from the veterans please!

  7. Honestly Me says:

    You ladies (and men) have given me so many tips and advice by reading through this. I’m also new and don’t like the idea of taking cash and feeling like an escort. There has to be tact and class somewhere in the mix ya know? Thanks for all the laughs while reading through these and all the awesome tips for the “noobs”. I’ve learned a lot tonight just reading them :)~

  8. SFI says:

    PS…profile ID is 395409 for those willing to offer suggestions. :-)

  9. SFI says:

    Hello sugarfriends!

    This blog has been so valuable to this neo-sb. I’m wondering if any of you would be willing to preview my profile and offer any advice. Also, do any of you approach SDs? Are there any pearls of wisdom you can offer for contacting SDs? Lastly, I’m between two metro areas, but live in a small town. Should I put my city as the closest metro area?

    I’m finding this entire arrangement refreshing…almost old-fashioned! I’m professionally employed and do not need “rescuing”. What girl wouldn’t love to have a man to dote over/ be doted over. Lookiing forward to your input.
    SFI

  10. tera says:

    I personally think that monthly allowance is a long shot specially when meeting someone the first. Allowances for school or bills given to sugarbaby from sugardaddy each meeting is benificial to both party especially in a no string and no drama arrangement. SB and SD will have less pressure towards obligations toward one another.

  11. Emma says:

    Hello everyone, I am new to this site (as a SB), I am also in Scottsdale, AZ. I just signed up a few days ago, I have received a few responses, and some with phone numbers. I haven’t responded to any, I am not sure how to weed out whom is false & whom is a real SD. Is there a black list anywhere? or is anyone willing to assist me in getting started? Thank You for any help.

  12. Sweetredhead*269443* says:

    Good evening everyone. Got 3 hours sleep last night. But was worth it. Had a great time with a pot SD. Looking forward to see how thing will proceed.

  13. GLPlayground says:

    I would really suggest CASH on any transaction.

  14. Koi says:

    Good Afternoon Realistic!

    Do I have this right? The problem with the card would be the taxes that the SD would have to pay?

  15. RealisticSD says:

    The IRS is very clear about joint accounts of this sort. If the joint account-holder or for that matter anyone takes anything out of it or uses any of it, it is a gift. Thankfully, the courts have allowed non-taxable transfers to mistresses, but it is not clear if the same holds true for a single SD. I guess it’ll end ip being tested in the courts some day.

  16. Koi says:

    Hi Lannie and Realistic!

    As far as the card I’m looking at goes. The account is under the givers(SD) name. And the SB is listed as someone who can use it. In my case, any pot SD I consider must be single, so I don’t think the paper trail should be an issue.

  17. RealisticSD says:

    Lannie, a gift is not income and is not taxable to the recipient, so unless you did some work for the guy in return for payment, there is for sure no taxes due to you.

    The question is whether what an SD gives an SB is a gift or charity (see my earlier post on U.S. vs. Harris). If it is what one gives out of feeling sorry for a mistress in need, the courts have considered it non-deductible but also non-taxable charitable giving as opposed to a gift. As for a gift, then any amount over 13K is subject to gift tax to the SD only, not the SB.

  18. RealisticSD says:

    Cash is the way to go for these arrangements, especially for a married SD. Any of these refillable credit cards or allowance cards leave a paper trail.

    As for getting to know someone before sex, I totally agree, but that’s how I’ve been my whole life, and I see no reason to change who I am because of the added “sugar”.

  19. Lannie says:

    KOI:

    I have used a netspend all access card which is a visa and upgraded it to a 10 grand balance which a SD can actually put directly on it, however , this card makes interest on balance so I get a statement at the end of the year and have to claim on taxes so you need to be careful so the IRS does not come calling. All cards have a bank even if you do not go to that bank it is somewhere and must report like any other financial institution so there is a paper trail and that income must somehow be claimed on your taxes.

    SB’s: Do you claim your extra income at the end of the year? In past years I actually have due to the paper trail and have often wonder if there was a way to avoid this, not that I am trying to not pay my taxes but it actually put me in a higher tax bracket in 2007 which hurt me instead of helped me.

  20. AtlNicole*389079* says:

    I have always looked at the whole marriage thing as a line that some SDs like to use. In my mind a a man is online looking for a potential wife he would go somewhere else. I know that there are some exceptions to the rule (Like the founder of this site) but in my mind marriage is a completely different ballgame.
    But to some women the chance to marry a millionare is so tempting that they can’t resist.

  21. AtlNicole*389079* says:

    These are like the Michael Jordan of all shoes. The best of the best. Although, if you like your shoes a little bit funky, Jimmy Choo has more outrageous designs right now.

  22. SugaCaneBby says:

    Kit-Kat – Yes, I admit things would go 100% smoother if people were genuinely interested in getting to know and forming a valuable bond with their sugar. That’s the idealist in me though. I know that if I can’t stand the Pots I date, there’s no amount of cash that’s going to keep me around, but on the opposite end, you could be just as sweet and as charming as you want to, you could bring my libido back from the dead, you could make me laugh so hard and so much that my ribs hurt the next day…but I’ve got needs too and if I wanted all that without the perks, there are more than a few “average” men willing to step up to the plate. 😉

    Anyway…trying to get over this dilemma where you have co-workers that add you on facebook. Never thought I’d have to deal with an issue like this. Let’s just say me at work and me out in the real world are two completely different people. I’d rather avoid the drama of breaking persona. Work and pleasure shouldn’t really mix, ya know?

    And now I’m off to bed officially too.

  23. texaSD says:

    alright take care.

  24. Texas Imma leave you to walk around in your undies now, since us ladies have left the room!!
    good night!
    and turn off the lights in here burning up the utilty bill!!

  25. Suga I dont really get that Isnt that why a SD is here for anyway to have some affection. got the Icecubes at home already, and has to pay for that! at least a Sb should be gracious, and it wouldnt be so hard if in the beginning an sb would Stick to being attracted to the man/personality first!
    why think this is going to benifit you and not him .. crazy entilted mindset!

  26. texaSD says:

    lol goodnight Koi,

    Kit kat, ya its pretty funny

  27. Koi says:

    Alright, I’m off to bed!

    Nite texaSD, AltNic, Kit Kat, SugaCane and all!!

    Yall are like my little online family =)

  28. I love the NSA no sex allowed one from NCGent
    NSA ?? oh really well, N$A =no sugar arangment!

  29. lol sleepy typer Syndrome

  30. SugaCaneBby says:

    *shouldn’t claim to be celibate. Typo. About my bedtime as well it seems. XD

  31. SugaCaneBby says:

    well I’m not saying wanting sex is a bad thing but wanting it right away, with no connections, outside of the straights of an arrangement is just WRONG as far the site goes imo. It’s called a Mutually Beneficial Arrangement. The same way a SB should claim celibate and expect to get all her bills paid, a “SD” shouldn’t expect to jump into bed without getting the financials worked out.

    See, that part is tricky, differentiating in print. But I’m sure everyone intrinsically knows the difference between creeps or whores and a genuin SB or SD.

  32. Texas yes It came up on the low end as 45k so Iam good, but then again he is a jewerly buying daddy lol.
    any Appliance daddys around!!
    lol

  33. texaSD says:

    Koi- No prob

    Kit-Kat. I not exactly what they make but i would imagine 40k-250k depending on exp. and location

  34. Koi says:

    Thanks texaSD. I appreciate the feedback- especially from a SD!

  35. my pot is in Texas too! I just remembered!

  36. I had asked my pot how long he had been working at the broker place and he said 2001 so I then went to ask google how much does one of these make. and you have a low range and a high range so at least he I know he in thorey*sp* afford me . I cant bring myself to ask how much money you make

  37. AtlNicole*389079* says:

    Alright Sugars. It is Bedtime for me. Calculus tutoring all day tomorrow and Thursday. I have to stay awake somehow.

  38. texaSD says:

    Its not a bad Idea Koi,

  39. Koi says:

    Annd it offers ATM access, so if SB needs cash, it’s at her disposal. Lol, I feel like I’m promoting the card! ha

    I just want your opinions before I bring it up. =)

  40. Texas what time is it there?

  41. Koi says:

    Oh, and I forgot to mention. Since it is a prepaid card, there is not chance of overdraft and such. So, it should be easy breezy.

  42. texaSD says:

    SugarCaneBb, ya i would say about 85% are expecting sex, just as 85% of women are expecting money, kinda surprise each side gets upset tbh lol

  43. texaSD says:

    Well I did was actually open a bank account, in her name only ( not to risk my own credit because checking builds credit) and ever 3rd of the month electronic deposit, this account would be used to pay all bills which amounted to about 2500 and i would put in about 3500 for gas and school related exp.. anything else would be her own thing

  44. Koi says:

    Kit Kat,

    I figured taxes should be just factored into the equation. The two pot SD that I went on a date with are both single, so it’s not like they have to worry about having to explain the expenses to a spouse.

  45. Koi says:

    We’ve just gone on our first date.

    I just wanted to get some advice from you all for when the discussion comes up. =)

  46. SugaCaneBby says:

    Kit-Kat – You’ve GOT TO send me a list of these other sites you frequent! Curiosity is hounding me!

    AtlNicole – I’m usually wary about accounts on the SD side that list amounts as “open”. More often then not, I read those profiles and it reeks of a guy just looking for sex with hot women. SMH. Still miffs me how men join these sites and then get offended when you bring up money. Yeesh!

  47. KOI
    what about you /sb being liable for tax.. see there goes the Cash is better argument I dunno I am nervous about that money on my person though. and I dont like it Showing up in my account either. guess I better cut out holes in my mattress. lol

  48. Koi says:

    I thought it would be a good way to get the whole cash mess out of the equation.

    From reading up on the cards, you can add up to $5000 a month. (Which would cover my expenses.) The card would be under SB name, but SD would have direct access to make deposits. Monthly and as needed.

  49. AtlNicole*389079* says:

    Texas – I am certain that a lot of men on here just pick a number at random. I went out with a man who claimed to be worth over 10mil, but he drove an older Honda and ended up getting a flat. No AAA or Roadside assistance. I am flat broke half the time and I have roadside assistance. I ended up closing my account on that site and switching to SA.
    I get frustrated that so many men put “open” as the allowance they can afford. I am sure that there are plenty of people who make a lot of money and manage it terribly. So even if a SD is being honest in saying that he makes 500K a year, I still have no idea how much he can afford to spend on me.

  50. SugaCaneBby says:

    An allowance card sounds like a good deal. I think a pre-paid visa would be my preferred form of receiving my allowance. Just reeeeeeaaaallly simple.

    As for what a SD is suppose to give, the suggestion is that whatever he has as far as disposable income should be in the pot as far as what he’s willing to spend on a SB. The book gives a great (and ironic!) example that ironically shows a man who makes about 4,000 a month being more cut-out to be a SD than the man who makes 30,000. The man who made 4,000 had more disposable income at the end of balancing his finances and deciding what he has leftover for frivolty. Just goes to show you can’t go by income or net worth alone! 😉

    I say put what you’re looking for in a price range. I think the 1-3K range is great for you, Koi, since you don’t have any outstanding debt and aren’t in financial straights. This isn’t to say that you won’t possibly find a SD who is far more generous, but it’s a great starting point and gives you tons of Pot SDs to choose from. :)

  51. again I have an account on a predominalty black site I dont even respond to the I am looking for my other half profiles… Your other half.. other half of WHAT ?you didnt read my essay buddy! next. and then the guys that put that there JUST to suckka in a girl. some of that going on on here too!

  52. texaSD says:

    well Koi how often do you meet him

  53. yeah thats what I wonder because I can say 20thou dollars a year but it Really isnt relevant because I work under the Chair so to speak*hairdresser* and then the Liars I am a doctor but dont know where the Clavical is.. lol

  54. texaSD says:

    thats not a bad Idea, i did something similar with the citi account, but I guess it depends on you, there are some benefits to each

  55. texaSD says:

    I wonder if some of these SD when they put their amount of yearly income are putting gross or net, pre or after IRA/401k stock purchase… things of that nature

  56. Koi its traced back.. or would you open it up in koi’s name and Sd has access to deposit funds?

  57. Koi says:

    Kit Kat, I’m with you. I don’t like the thought of carrying around a bunch of cash. I was looking into something called an Allowance Card. Visa and Mastercard offer it, and it sounds good. It’s mainly used by parents for teens and college students. It’s a card that can be uploaded with funds by the “parents’ and used by the kids.

    texaSD what do you think about that kind of allowance card??

    Any other SD willing to offer their opinion?

    Thanks!

  58. Koi the only ones that are verified are the diamond club members
    so if hes inflating that wont help.
    I know what I need and thats what I stick with I may try to throw my first and second month allowance in a CD or something !

  59. Koi says:

    You are right about that. However, this SD is looking for long term and possibly marriage.

  60. texaSD says:

    ohh, 1 important thing, i forgot to mention, it should also depend on where you live at Koi, LA NYC Chicago, and Miami usually should be a tad bit higher

  61. Koi
    ok go look at the deductable for Dental insurance! ha!! that s a car note!!
    Texas I see I just heard that before I dont think I could let someone run my finances , i like your way , even though most are saying just drop cash. well thats good an all but like I say I am a chicken to carry that much on me!

  62. texaSD says:

    Well net worth isn’t something you should go buy, i doubt a SD would be willing to dip into his nest egg for a SB unless she has a killer game plan.

  63. Koi says:

    Ha, well basically if a SD makes $250,000 a year. $2000 a month is 10%

    Now that I worked it out, sounds a bit low, ha.

  64. texaSD says:

    so would it be 25% of monthly salary?

  65. Koi says:

    On the SD side? Or the SB side? He is a business owner. Annual salary is reasonable. Net worth is much more, though.

  66. Koi says:

    Annual income divided over 12 months that is. (As opposed to one lump sum.)

  67. texaSD says:

    well thats not a bad thing, but i guess it would depend on what he makes

  68. Koi says:

    Well, I was thinking (not to offend anyone) but some people give 10% of their income to the church. So, I thought that would be a reasonable number. What do you think texaSD?? Would that be reasonable to you?

  69. texaSD says:

    Well, she was a single mother, and I like her, and those people usually need a little more help, so I opened a bank account for her, (her name only, i don’t risk my own self) and i made deposits arranged bill pay for the car, rent, health insurance, bills etc, and tution. she just needed to manager her own credit cards with her job money.. She still had her own bank account other than the citi account,

  70. texaSD says:

    Perncentage of what I make, hmm thats interesting, but go on, what are you thinking?

  71. Koi
    let me know who has wide shoes

    Texas a Sb would let you be in her finances like this? really how do get that convo started.. hey give me your fico score!! lol

  72. Koi says:

    I don’t have any real needs… My college is paid off (scholarships/grants/and my own hard work), I have no credit card debt, I could use a new car… and I hadn’t thought about healthcare! Thanks for bringing that up!

  73. no honey Honesty be honest look at your credit What do you need off of there that is an expense your Credit cards. you balance on the car, your tuition. dont lie but look for your expenses !
    grocerices I know you buy clothes, healthcare.. I mean its there just look around and think about it!

  74. texaSD says:

    Koi-Depends you want him to give you the money? or put him in charge of your finances?

    If you want to control your own, i usually do about 1-3k depending how often I see her and etc

  75. oprah wears them!!! I really think you should ask for an allowance that is your complete overhead however if there is chemestry maybe go easy on him,, I dunno I would ask NYC that she may have a more firm answer. like me I could very well take a Jewerly daddy but This isnt clearing my credit not that it is high anyway. but I want to get it to zero!
    and it would be nice to have someone help me out with some bills

  76. Koi says:

    texaSD

    What do you think about a percentage of what you make? Would that be reasonable?

  77. Koi says:

    Thanks Kit Kat.

    That is a good formula to follow. I don’t actually have that many expenses, so I don’t want to come across as cheap, lol. I’ll make up some new needs. =)

  78. koi
    it depends write down your expenses and see what you get.
    I totaled my rent insurance util
    then I totaled my wardrobe maaitnence*hair* and cell phone
    and If he can totally provide it would be Everything , all my overhead
    if he is a supplemental its like gym membership and wardrobe expense.
    total overhead/ then try to figure your big bills and see what would be good to have someone else take care persay

    I am gettin sleepy so may have mish mashed your answer

  79. AtlNicole*389079* says:

    I have never even seen CLs in real life, but the website makes me drool. Looking for a man who can appreciate all the wonders of Saks please…

  80. Koi says:

    Thanks, Kit Kat!

  81. Koi says:

    Oh, okay!

    Thank you, texasSD and SugaCaneBby!!

    I saw it mentioned in earlier posts! You have introduced me to a new brand of shoe, lol.

  82. CL= Craigs list or Clide lubotuant* I spelled that all wrong* in that context it was the shoes very nice shoes!

    night Sweet red

  83. AtlNicole*389079* says:

    Goodnight Sweetredhead. Sweet Sugar Dreams.

  84. Koi says:

    At the risk of soundly like the novice that I am. What is a reasonable allowance? Feel free to scold me for such a question, lol.

  85. SugaCaneBby says:

    Koi – CLs are short for Christian Louboutins or CL is short for Craigslist. It’s all relative the context it’s mentioned in. :)

  86. texaSD says:

    translation Koi, expensive shoes christain lou..

  87. sweetredhead says:

    I can’t think straight anymore. and I have to be up in a few hours for work. I will talk to you all tomorrow. what a night. and it started out so peaceful lol

  88. texaSD says:

    See i am not so good with the gift giving, i think the monthly allowance is a much better situation, Or something along that, i am not so good with gifts,

  89. Koi says:

    What does CL stand for???

    Still a bit new to this! Thanks!

  90. Koi says:

    Hi SweetRed!

    Congrats on your date tonight! I just got back from a date myself! Well, a little while ago…

    I’m in the same boat. When and how to bring up finanacial details. We touched upon it, and I’m pretty sure I’ve stumbled upon a gift/travel daddy. He’s already planning out next dates out of country and said he loves to shop.

    I guess it’s fine, as long as he’s okay with me seeking out someone else to meet other want$.

  91. Suga with the great advice as usuall

    Palm where did you go??

  92. Sweetred I havent went on any just yet I am not meeting in the evening and at funny locales but he does keep asking and I just dont know what to do .

  93. sweetredhead says:

    I have met several men who say they want to be a sugar daddy, But when it come down to giving the allowance they fall very short. Only one man actually followed through on being a true SD. That is what I am looking for again. Right from the start I got an allowance. I am honest and up front about what I am looking for. If something more is to develop later I am not totaly closed off to that. But it most start out as an arrangement.

  94. SugaCaneBby says:

    Oh, and then also, for ladies that are getting SDs that would rather give gifts than an allowance, let them know your needs and what would be more suitably effective. If he gets mad at you for choosing groceries over CL…well, I guess you should rethink the arrangement. :(

  95. Koi says:

    Hi Gemini!

    Your situation with the wannabe SD that thought he could buy you with a couple dresses and shoes was exactly what I went through last week! Good for you, sticking to your guns!

    You’ll find a man that is just right for you. =)

  96. SugaCaneBby says:

    I think the arrangement should be brought up once you think the proper chemistry is established (which it sounds like it has been for you, SweetRedHead) and then you ask him, “So, the financial aspect of this…how do you feel about it?” This reminds him again, that he does have to participate but it’s non-confrontational and doesn’t sound needy.

  97. AtlNicole*389079* says:

    If the SD does not bring it up on the first date then I will bring it up shortly thereafter. Usually you can lead them in that direction by talking about past arrangments that you or they have had. If all else fails, be up front about your expectations and put it all out there. I am of the mindset that 2 or 3 dates is not really accomplishing anything if the pot has no intention of ever giving you an allowance. ( or whatever it is that you are looking for)

  98. sweetredhead says:

    No one in my family knows. And I am sure he will not introduce me as anything other then a female friend. No one wants that out in the open.

  99. Sweet red
    that is Exactly what I am running into my pot is talking about Jewerly and stuff yes its sweet but I Rather eyeglasses over jewerlry.*I like coach and gucci frames* i and jewerly isnt going to get my credit clear the way I want it. I havent an Idea what to do about this.
    The book dosent touch on this either if I recall correctly

    Atl I would have so told him to neuter himself and then blocked him, see thats a surgical procedure too!

    Texas may I ask how old are you?

  100. AtlNicole*389079* says:

    Sweetredhead – I have to give serious thought to letting a BF meet my family. A SD doesn’t stand a chance. Not that I would ever tell my family about the whole SD/SB thing. They would not ever understand.

  101. sweetredhead says:

    Kat you tell me, because I have no idea lol. How many dates do you go on, before you set the arrangement? I think it should be in the beginning. If he doesn’t want you to see other men (pot SD’s) then he needs to set the arrangement. Or risk losing you to someone who is willing to step up to the plate.

  102. texaSD says:

    depends on what you and him are talking about

  103. sweetredhead says:

    Ok I better try and go to sleep, Have to be up at 6am for work. Maybe a cold shower first lol

  104. ANYBODY
    is this how it goes I tell him I am looking for Xyz..
    then he says ok tell me some more about you
    I give a breif synopisis
    We meet for lunch
    and If he wants more then I should refuse until a suitable arrangment is made?
    Question how many dates is normal to go on before either party makes an offer?

  105. texaSD says:

    ya, i don’t know about sharing a slut…

  106. AtlNicole*389079* says:

    You sound like me. I called every asian person Chinese, not knowing any better. Today some guy told me he was looking for a slut that he could share with his friends. This was his first email. I wanted to respond that I am fairly sure that only happens in porno movies, but i just went ahead and blocked him.

  107. sweetredhead says:

    I think he knows that, because he mentioned it several times. He knows I am looking for an arrangement. But I think he wants to convince me to leave that part out. I am not willing to do that, no matter what I want.

  108. sweetredhead says:

    He asked me if I would go to meet his family….How am I suppose to take that?

  109. Sweetred I am running into that problem alot these days how to tell a person Hey not a date and arrangment?? I dont know how to make the person know .

  110. sweetredhead says:

    Keep me on track girls lol. because this man is going to be hard to resist lol

  111. Texas
    well I know that now! this is back when I was 10. the only asian I knew was bruce lee ! oh back in the innocent days

  112. sweetredhead says:

    We have not discussed the arrangement aspects in much detail, just talked some about it. He has never been a sugar daddy before. Not sure if he wants more from me then at this point I am willing to give. I am looking for a sugar daddy, not a boyfriend. The chemistry is differently there, for both of us I am sure. We need an arrangement in place before I go further. I hope he understands that.

  113. texaSD says:

    Lol nooo not all asians are chinese, that is funny. I have dated a lot of them, I can tell you, each is very different,

  114. Sweetred Scared of you mama!! this is good news! wow!!

  115. this is good Atl until I went to Germany I thought all asian people were chineese, can you imigine? well it was a good thing I figured out that there are lots of diffrent Asians! I never heard of a hatian until I was in south florida.
    Pitbull is a rap artist has a lot of reggetone in his music little Explict for my taste I actually like the instramental myself. look him up…. and no sharing him!!

  116. AtlNicole*389079* says:

    Yay Sweetredhead! At least someone has some good news to share. I will keep my fingers crossed that everything goes smoothly for you.

  117. sweetredhead says:

    Back from a sugar date, sort of lol, we had not meet only talked on the phone for the last 2 weeks. He was driving back into town and called me and asked if I wanted to meet. I said no as it was already late, but decided what the heck. Got out of my jammies and met him.

    All I can say id WOW! he is as great in person as on the phone. If I did not have to go to work I think the man could have convinced me to go home with him. I an looking forward to see where this leads.

  118. AtlNicole*389079* says:

    Kit-Kat – Never heard of Pitbull. I am crazy about hispanics. I grew up in an extremely white part of town and just moved away a few years ago. It blows my mind to find out about all of these cultures and lifestyles that I knew nothing about. My high school had over 2000 students and there were only 4 black kids. No real asian or latino community either. I missed out on a lot, but I am trying to catch up.

  119. Texas that is a nice looking man and ther would be no mixed signals about it!! lol

  120. Texas at least you know, I havent the foggiest where I am all mixed up from.

  121. texaSD says:

    Kit Kat, yes i know who he is

  122. well ATL I think persian guys are hot.. of course I like everything
    umm you know the man on the show LOST sayid?? oh lord, and to me Gadiffi looks like a lightskin black man, M.Night Shamalon I think hes cute too then I really got a thing for Black guys that are diffrent Ethnicitys*I may be saying this wrong* ok west coast of africa sent slave ships off* we know the story* but like Black cuban black hispanics are like whoooo of course I like White hispanics too. I think I really am about a person on the inside. yall know who pitbull is?

  123. texaSD says:

    Dad is 1st gen american, his dad is English, his mom is Irish, My mom was born in Cuba, her dad born in Holland. and her mom born in Cuba, I think as far as others are concerned I am white lol

  124. SugaCaneBby says:

    Most people think I’m foreign…Ethiopian, Guyanese, Kenyan, etc. I don’t know what it is. I even fool actual Africans sometimes, lol.

    American. All the way back to my parent’s parent’s parent’s parent’s parent’s. With some French back about 3 gens, but you can’t really see it in me. But that’s about it. 😀

  125. oh sorry that was his OFFER lol hehehe he is from bangaladesh I think.
    oh now I am his first negro african Girlfriend! lol oh gees hot for me!!
    GINA YO can I borrow your garlic??

  126. Yahhh first e- stalker!! lol I want link with you for ever first African negro friend!!

  127. texaSD says:

    lol I think it sounds fun, and you kept making it sound so interesting, i don’t think i can resist

  128. AtlNicole*389079* says:

    last post was aimed at Kit-Kat. Oops.

  129. AtlNicole*389079* says:

    I get that a lot too, but I have no idea what tips people off. I look white to me. I have high cheekbones, but most people don’t study anthropology enough to know that comes from Native Americans. I get some of the craziest guesses, and nobody has ever been right. I had a guy try to be smart and ask if I was Persian, I guess because it sounds exotic. Ummm…Persia doesn’t exist. Became Iran decades ago. Next.

  130. Cowboy boots I never knew how Expensive them things are!
    I am wanting a Python purse.. over her in Fla they arerounding up the Snakes I wonder if the market will fall out for it? you know a price drop

    Atl its in all neighboorhoods just people dont say.

  131. SugaCaneBby says:

    Lol, texasSD, so you’re a glutton for punishment? Ahhhhh, I see! HA!

  132. SugaCaneBby says:

    AtlNicole – Black women are very possessive of “their” men because the ratio is off as far as that goes. There aren’t necessarily more men then women in the black “community”, but it’s of the general consesus that if a “brotha” is with anything other than a “sista” than he must be a “good one” and they’re very resentful of that since gang culture is glorified and there are more deadbeats than not. It’s honestly a very heated although stupid issue and one I couldn’t possibly cover in an average dialogue. Just keep doing you. I find that anyone who has any type of opinion on the associates you keep are just bitter and therefore jealous. They deserve whatever it is they feel they’re going through because they’re too busy being negative and concerning themselves with things they have no say in.

  133. texaSD says:

    Sugar I am already sold, you don’t have to try to convince me to do it lol

  134. ATL I get this hey kit kat what are you… Everybody go look at my photo!!
    ok duhhh what do you think I am …. Your Hair isnt right its too long its something else in here! aperently if you have good hair thats ademerit point.
    us folks are Very funny, oh do not let me forget if ther is a a man with really corse hair We claim him… lol its funny

  135. texaSD says:

    Lol ya, I am not Texan enough to pull it off, and seriously i never got why there wear them, not so kind on my feet, I thought i try it out, but naa

  136. palm says:

    Lol TexasSD you can always wear those cowboy boots.

  137. SugaCaneBby says:

    Kit-Kat – Oh no, I didn’t take it as you raggin on me. ^____^ I was just saying tbh, I’m a hot-head! Lol. In case that wasn’t already apparent from some of my posts.

    texasSD – I’m all for social experiments, but that would be a verrrrrry unpleasant one. From my experience, the most talk you’ll get will be along the lines of racial slurs yelled from moving vehicles (if you’re a pedestrian like myself but I’m sure you’re not) and people making comments about bestiality and how “white” you are. The volume of it all and how blatant it is would depend on the locale you’re in. For example in larger urban areas, I believe the most you’ll get are a few people craning their heads to examine you because it wouldn’t be too much out of the norm.

  138. AtlNicole*389079* says:

    Here in Atl it is pretty common to see IR relationships, so i don’t know that it would draw all that much attn. My best friend is a black man and I look white (I am half Indian) the only time we get comments is when we go to the low income neighborhoods and the comments always seem to come from women.

    My boss is too much of a hrdass to joke around like that. If only it wasn’t so hard to find a job right now…or an obnoxiously rich man to sweep me off of my feet. At this point I will settle for either one :)

  139. Texas I later found out he was really intrested in the vast array of hairstyles !! thats what he said, lol

  140. Palm I am 5’5
    the unicorn thing came up and they say unicorns are attracted to Virgins….. the Lie goes Iam a virgin and Iam 6ft tall.
    how ever I have all kinds of gal pals and it is funny when they complain they cant find shoes, and I say I cant find any my width!! both walking around in flipflops

  141. texaSD says:

    Palm, ya, that would probably scare me.. My friend she is 5’10, when i am out with her, I make sure to get every Inch i can, shoes, gellin’ everything

  142. texaSD says:

    SugarCaneBb- I would love to hear them talk though, i kinda curious, now i want to test this out lol…

    Kit-Kat- Sounds like a cool boss

  143. AtlNicole*389079* says:

    A Black People Memo! That is so funny. What about people like me who are more than one race? Do I get two memos? I am laughing so hard right now.

  144. Suga I am not raggin on you at all! at all and yes you are right no one has any business with that type of stuff and IMO looking for a ***whoopin . times I wish I would tell a person off right off the bat but I got a long fuse.

    yeah its all really crazy the catalyst is diffrent in the Reverse.

  145. palm says:

    Kit kat, Im 6′ tall too and shopping is not fun. wen it comes to men size doesn’t matter much as log as he’s not too short. some men pretend not to have a problem with it but you should see their faces when i put my 3″ heels on. Lol sometimes i just like to tower over them.

  146. ok so I was working on campus at the Resturant and it was nearing MLK day so my boss ask me hey kit kat where is the Parade around here I look up and say how would I know,,, ahh maybe on Mlk drive.. yall got one around here? he says no. I say well I dont know why you ask me you think we get a Black people memo in the mail along side the publishers clearing house??
    my boss had to go outside because he was laughing so hard. he come back in and says ya know I only go to the parade be cause any other time I look at a black lady my wife hits me!! lol

  147. SugaCaneBby says:

    texasSD – Whatever you want to do is ok! Screw everyone else’s opinion. As long as you’re happy, that’s all that matters but really, IR couples get stared at a lot and snide comments abound so be prepared. I honestly think people don’t do much outside of looking on in disapproval most of the time because my friend has a very menacing aura about him. :3

    Ah, yet another reason SDs probably prefer blondes. Less complicated if you’re a hardcore advocate of the “discreet” route.

  148. texaSD says:

    OHh, you mean a white guy looks at a hot white girl and be like, why is she with that black man?

  149. SugaCaneBby says:

    I’m a normally happy too, but I have a very short fuse…I bounce back rather quickly though. :3 Trust and believe, life is too short to be angry and I love a good laugh. People just really burn my grits sometimes though. If she had been trying to do it on the sneak, it wouldn’t have bothered me much but she’s sitting 3 feet away, scanning me and she’s sees me see her and continues. I’m trying to have a private conversation and it’s like, look wench, get out of my mouth. XD

    The fact that I despise being scrutinized is what this is really all about. Having people stare at me makes me uncomfortable and will usually result in me lashing out to relieve the tension. Cornered animal syndrome or whatever. I’m a person who really hates spotlight hence another reason I would never model.

  150. Texas pending on where you are at I assume you will be at a nice resturant and things but White men do this also , see what you see and tell us, if you go get some of the black comedians dvd’s youll hear a lot of this sillyness martin lawrence he is mighty silly!

  151. texaSD says:

    I don’t mind

  152. texaSD says:

    Just recently have I started working in and out of ATL, so is that normal if I am with a black girl?

  153. Texas if people in general would just sit back and say ohhh is that what that is about we all would be alot better!
    I like your attitude.
    a hemm I want to tell you guys a joke/a sass I handed my boss! if you dont mind

  154. texaSD says:

    Well politics is my business, but i find this interesting, I don’t know what its like, nor have a grown up with that.. So its kinda cool for me, and not to mention funny

  155. Kit kat the happy black lady!! hehehehe but because I am very happy normally and have a long fuse I tend to get ooverlooked

  156. ATL /Texas this is what a woman shooting a unit is saying!

  157. SugaCaneBby says:

    AtlNicole – What these ignoramous don’t realize is that no one is stealing anyone. If they want YOU they’d be with YOU. It’s not like people are specifically targeting others that are spoken for. Logic.

    Anyway, skewing the blog back on track before we all get scathed for being “political”, lol.

  158. Texas there is no problem at all just noting the funny things us americans do! I tend to think European men dont really mind one way or the other. of course I don’t know. I did have a turkish boyfriend in germany for a few months he wasmy schwmbad*sp* buddy!

  159. texaSD says:

    Lol, ok thats funny

  160. SugaCaneBby says:

    texasSD – Who really knows? All I know is that if an expression of that nature is sent my way, then that person obviously has a problem with who I am and what I’m doing…and frankly, I don’t recall waking up this morning and asking her opinion on my lifestyle or appearance, lol. I REALLY should have taken her down a notch. Black women are aggressive…ok, so I can be guilty of that stereotype, but only if someone challenges me.

    Very cagey around here. I don’t much like it at all. I’ve been here a year as of yesterday.

    Oh, and on another note FINALLY finished the book. Took me long enough (because I only read it during commutes to and from work and I HATE when people hover over me when I read…and folk on the bus are nosey as far as that. like anyone reads around here). Great read. The appendix at the end with Sugar Geisha was a le sigh moment…granted she did cite running into one jerk, she generally meant some ideal SD in her search. I’ll definitely be skimming through the book again when I open back up my search.

  161. AtlNicole*389079* says:

    I babysit my best friends two year old who is very obviously half black. I cannot take him anywhere without getting ugly looks. Sometimes I just want to be like “Really!?!?! He looks nothing like me.” but I decide to let these miserable women live out their sad lives believing what they want. I had a woman come up and tell me that I should be ashamed to be stealing brothas from their women.

  162. texaSD says:

    Ok, what is the problem again? I have a hard time understanding… sorry…

  163. Texas Suga I asked my friend Sd did they act likr this in his country seems its an american thing.
    I welcome anybody’s else experince on this!!

  164. texaSD says:

    Well, i am not originally from texas, and I am not so old. sorry lol

  165. Texas it is a Wonder that I dont have a few at least checking me out romanticaly!!
    Is no nostril/ear hairs too much!!
    yes Shooting units bad facial expression,, the old folks would slap you in your mouth for such a facial expression!

  166. lol oh geez Texas we need to Send you the Memo

  167. texaSD says:

    Oh I see… and she did that because you are with a white guy?

  168. SugaCaneBby says:

    texasSD – Shooting units = Staring daggers, looking at hostily. :)

  169. texaSD says:

    Kit-kat lol..

  170. texaSD says:

    I am guessing shooting units is a negative thing?

  171. SugaCaneBby says:

    Lol, Kit-Kat, I had a black lady shoot ME units because like I said, I was with my caucasian friend…she was all in my grill and not apologetic. I shouldn’t have spared her, but I did. If I see her again though, I won’t be so generous, infant or not. If you got something to say PLEASE say it, ya feel me?

    I’m in a much better mood today than I was yesterday! Wow, sometimes extreme anger is refreshing. Makes all the little things not seem so bad. 😀 I hope everyone has had an amazing day full of sweetness!

  172. Texas my req are as follows :Born a male!! 5’7 or taller, attractive, not pushy, or overly bossy, and not stingy, and by that I mean not make ME pay for stuff all the time! there are other basic things but hell I can work with a man that got a sense of humor and a job basically

  173. texaSD says:

    If anyone is curious, i have been looking at profiles for the last few hours, just window shopping, i will gladly put the profile numbers of some of the girls if anyone wants to take a look lol

  174. suga you crack me up as usuall. its like that in a lot of towns the reverse even true also Ever seen the black ladies shoot units at the black dude with a non- sista on his arm?? I guess we got a ways to go. L’amant is this evident in your area I tend to remember in Germany this isnt even given a secon thought?
    maybe we need to hit up the French-men?

  175. texaSD says:

    The first part of the comment was to you Kit-Kat, sorry sometimes i forget to direct my respones

  176. texaSD says:

    ya, its just makes me feel un-easy, Very rarely do I even date woman my own height. I few times i did, and I have noticed sometimes women will say they are shorter than they actually are. SugarCaneBb, i prefer white or asian women, however lately i have had the craving for something exotic, like Indian middle eastern. But I am always open to all colours. Just depends on what I see. although to be honest, i never understood the obession with blonds…

  177. Texas SD I heard that thought!!

  178. SugaCaneBby says:

    NYC – I’m located in a small town in Missouri. 😉 And on that note…

    For everyone who says that the scale for SBs may not be skewed in favor of those of the caucasian persuasian (or Asian. I see a lot of that too) PLEASE explain the numerous profiles I’ve come across that say that they’re only looking for blondes, latinas, red-heads, etc…I’m not saying it’s not hard for all of us, but reality states that men do have preference and that anything that does not fit that preference is associated with some unpleasant stereotype. That’s why I can’t stand to be in the town I am now. There are no blacks here because 2 or 3 decades ago before they were outlawed, there were a string of lynchings. Therefore, my hopes of finding a SD around here who finds me to be his cup of tea physically is fleeting to none. Ignorance runs rampant. My bestie is a white metal head and ohohoho boy the glares we get when we’re tag-teaming the town.

    Anyway, back to the smoking thing…I used to date a man who smoked and it didn’t bother me much but I believe that’s because he smoked menthols? It was very comforting, how he always smelled like minty ash and this sexy cologne he bought from some store or another. :) I do have a co-worker who chainsmokes Lights though and unless she airs out first, I’m always coughing when she breezes past me. Who knows? I’d definitely bar smokers from my choice pool. It’s a really lame habit, imo. I don’t see the benefit unlike alcohol or drugs (not that I’m advocating alcoholics or crackheads…just saying).

    I have to agree (as if anyone would DISagree), flaking is a no-no and I know it’s going to happen a lot and I do not look forward to it. I’m of the school of thought that one shouldn’t give their word if they can’t keep it and I’m a bit more strict about it than most because I have baggage as far as it. 2 strikes only and then ONLY if you call and apologize. My time is precious too, dammit.

    Also, I REALLY hope this guy is not driving 4 hours just to get laid. Once again, the crap some men will go through solely to get sex boggles me. You will never catch me taking a detour at the risk of destroying my marriage to get peen. It’s not that great. :)

  179. Squeez into shoes lol I guess you dont see me poke fun about my wide feets!! hehehe
    no I cant take anybody shorter than 5’5 which is me and I tend to like 6’2+ but long as 5’7 with a personality I am flexiable

  180. AtlNicole*389079* says:

    I have never dated anyone shorter than me. It makes me uncomfortable. I know that it isn’t fair, but we all have preferances.

  181. texaSD says:

    No clue, never dated anyone taller than me

  182. GLPlayground says:

    Is it true that tall women tend to dominate over smaller male partners? LOL

  183. AtlNicole*389079* says:

    I am 5’11. I feel for you Kit-Kat. Tall girls have a tough road. And we have to walk down that road with huge feet. I can’t tell you how many times I have squeezed my feet into some size 10s just because not all fabulous shoes go up to 11s. I have learned to ignore the pain. Sometimes beauty is pain.

  184. texaSD says:

    5’9 lol, but i am good size in other areas,

  185. Texas I thought they only did BIG in Texas that go for SD’s too!
    I mean We all can wish right…. ok maybe 5’8

  186. texaSD says:

    lol now i feel short…

  187. Atl maybe thats why we never see him. lol

  188. oh man the virgin train left a bout 15min ago!! lol I am 6 feet tall too!
    Atl I wasnt mean!! I could have reccomended a surgery a chronoectomy from the Alimentary canal*colon* thats an Rx from Dr. Kit kat
    lol

  189. Atl I had a Sd pot and he and I hit it off, I was so looking forward to meeting him for coffee lol I got the hair done*relaxed* I did my own pedi. got a outfit picked out and had new shoes for it too. Day of he says hes in south florida, well fine I say. he comes back and on friday again I hear nothing all day, so once again I let him make plans and When friday came I was not even intrested in meeting after all that! very very aggravating indeed
    I think they have second thoughts about the $ugar and panic!

  190. texaSD says:

    Well her Idea is good too,

  191. AtlNicole*389079* says:

    I sent a nicer version of Kit-Kat’s idea. I am really a big softie. However, he has been deleted from my cell, which equals deleted from my life. I guess I will just have to enjoy the new TV on my own.

  192. AtlNicole*389079* says:

    Kit-Kat – LOL. Aren’t unicorns supposed to be attracted to virgins? I think he may be on the wrong blog in that case.

  193. texaSD says:

    Ok shoot one off, how about a normal F**k You?

  194. Atl nicole
    sincere is like the unicorn of SD’s. You know he reads the post, and he responds, but we have yet to see him! well I seen a profile Wayyyy back long ago hes a great guy. and sure share the Blog crush why not!

  195. AtlNicole*389079* says:

    I know it is immature Texas, but it is so insulting to have somebody waste your time like that. What grown man thinks of that as acceptable behavior? He has no respect for me at all.

  196. texaSD says:

    Why? don’t even bother with it…

  197. Atl
    Thankyou for your thoughtfulness I was so looking forward to meeting but I see you are chronilogically challanged. I would say something nice like that
    hows that for a start?

  198. AtlNicole*389079* says:

    Trying to think of a suitable scathing remark for a man who stood me up. I don’t want to seem immature though. Feels like walking a tight rope. I suck at being a bitch, but he so deserves at least one bitchy text before I delete him.

  199. sweetredhead says:

    You never know who you might meet. We all have perception of another person by what we consider to be our match. Think outside the box and you never know what you may find.

    My words of wisdom for the day :)

  200. sweetredhead says:

    The other day I had a whole discussion through email with a sugar daddy who asked me. At my age and body type how did I consider myself a sugar baby. I went on to explain to him. and he liked my personality and my answers and we met. He was a really nice man and wants to continue seeing me as my sugar daddy. But I turned him down.

  201. sweetredhead says:

    I don’t understand why woman put up fake pictures or older pictures of themselves. You do have to meet.

    You should always be who you are. You can only fake it for so long and then what happens? Save yourself the trouble and be true to who you are. To me like me or don’t it’s your call. I am who I am.

  202. texaSD says:

    NYC Rachel Leigh Cook, from a maxim photo shoot.

  203. NYC SB says:

    hahaha – for sure it didnt look real but it is too small for me to look at the face

  204. texaSD says:

    301504 has three pics, each of a different girl, the first one is a famous actress, i swear they must all think the SD’s are old and don’t know a fake pic when we see one.

  205. NYC SB says:

    TexaSD – Megan Fox? lol

    Ok Sugar fam – off to my scotch tasting 😀 not a sugar date but it is definitely a bitter sweet one

  206. sweetredhead says:

    first picture of what? and who’s profile number? I am so confused lol

  207. sweetredhead says:

    As long as you learn along the way, that is what life is about. The problem comes when you do not learn from it.

  208. texaSD says:

    301504 is the profile number, Does anyone know who the girl is in the first picture?

  209. sweetredhead says:

    Too me it’s not about the money, it’s about a bond, a friendship, chemistry. I am asking too much?

  210. NYC SB says:

    I hear you – learned that lesson the hard way – at least i learned :)

  211. sweetredhead says:

    Maybe. I certainly have not found what I am looking for. I just know what I want. I will not settle no matter what the offer is, as some have found out lol.

  212. NYC SB says:

    Sweetred – the ones that dont understand the arrangement should probably meet each other… chances are match made in heaven

  213. texaSD says:

    Sweetredhead, i also agree, there is a lot that don’t seem to understand the SB/SD concept, but like you said, every arrangement is different.

  214. texaSD says:

    Lol i Was kidding don’t do that, that is considered pimping … but that is funny

  215. NYC SB says:

    TexaSD – that was my initial thought as well…. except we had a very good chemistry and each time he saw me (both times) he gave me a monthly allowance… we always met for lunch then i would run at work then make plans for dinner… except maybe he turns into an ogre at night thus the poofing

  216. sweetredhead says:

    Too funny NYC SB. I am finding a lot of men AND woman do not understand the sd/sb concept. Although it does allow for a lot of interpretation and each arrangement is different, there is still the basic concept.

  217. texaSD says:

    NYC SB, probably got a girl already that was intimate

  218. NYC SB says:

    TexaSD – I collected many stripper cards … the ones they hand out on the street in vegas… I have them in my purse and have handed them out to a Pot once the per hour discussion has been brought up. According to the stripper cards some are $29 and others are Free… he gets the point pretty quickly 😉

  219. NYC SB says:

    AtlNicole – Standing someone up without letting them know is a NO NO… when I first joined SA I met a man for lunch… we hit it off and he invited me to dinner and told me to pick the restaurant… I made a reservation and got myself all pretty… on my way to him we were texting back and forth… then I got to his hotel and told him im in the lobby… 10 minutes pass by no reply… I call his number and its now off… then he gives me some lame excuse about having to go to the emergency room… Naive me gave him a second chance and sure enough he pulled the same move… Im not really sure why either as him and I were never intimate

  220. sweetredhead says:

    Good evening everyone. How is sugar world tonight?

  221. Lannie says:

    NYC: I know what you mean, I find that an insult when they want to pay for an hour that is why I stated I was not a prostitute.

    TexaSD: I have found that when I am weeding out Pot SD, that the friend factor weighs in heavily in my choice.

  222. texaSD says:

    NYC SB, maybe you should carry a card of escort girl numbers for them lol,

  223. AtlNicole*389079* says:

    Looks like I may have to open back up my Sugar Search. Not that I had officially closed it down yet. A girl needs options after all.

    The Doc, who has always been bad about returning calls and texts, made plans to see me tonight but I have not heard from him all day. I can understand cancelling a date if something comes up, but standing me up without letting me know is a big no-no. That type of thing gets a man black-listed in my book. Is it really too much to ask for a little respect?

  224. texaSD says:

    It was for you Lannie, I also agree, i like the being friends with a SB

  225. NYC SB says:

    Lannie – I am not sure if they can or cannot afford it but I know that they are looking for an escort rather than an arrangement… some have offered a nice per meet allowance but dont want to get to know me and others have offered something like $100 for an hour… this is not what I am looking for so I move on

  226. texaSD says:

    Well Lannie, before i offer people my Point of View, i have to have an idea about the person i am giving to. That way i can put it in a way that could have maximum impact, otherwise it can be a waste of words. BTW nothing wrong with your opinion, I understand it completely, another reason why no need to correct it.

  227. Lannie says:

    I am not sure if you are asking me or Nicki but my Ideal SA is one where there is chemistry and trust, a situation where I can let my hair down and me proper in public when need be but a wild cat when the door closes.lol.. I also prefer a friendship over a business relationship where the SD knows how to be a gentleman but it does not always have to be about going out to dinners, or social events but sometimes just staying in completely and enjoying the real sugar in the relationship. I like presents once in a while but not all the time otherwise I feel tainted in the arrangement. As I said a friendship is foremost for me and I prefer no strings attached as it keeps the drama out. No sex or try outs on first date and no sex without at least some sort of agreement.

  228. texaSD says:

    So what is your Ideal SA? Just out of curiosity

  229. Lannie says:

    TexaSD:

    I am always open to listening and learning from others points of view and sometimes I find I can get very narrow in my way of thinking.

  230. Lannie says:

    Nicki:

    Thank You that is exactly what I mean, and I have not found them to actually pursue a sugar agreement but in my experience which is little I have found it is more about conquest than a true SA.

  231. texaSD says:

    Lol you don’t correct someone’s opinion… I was just curious if there is a way to tell if someone is full of stuff…

  232. Lannie says:

    TexaSD:

    Actually I do not know. I often rely on my gut instinct and if I have agreed to meet a Pot with the understanding that this is simply to get to know each other and see if there is any initial chemistry I expect the meeting to be just that. I find it a turn off to be 5 minutes in a conversation and the talk becomes sexual with an invitation to go to a hotel and spend the rest of the meeting in bed to “try me out”. I do not do try outs and I am not a prostitute but for me that is a reflection on the type of SD the person would be and I do not see any generousity in that scenario. LOL…. it is just how I size up a Pot and I know everyone is different but thats just how I think lol.. feel free to correct me. (smiles)

  233. Nicki says:

    I think Lannie means the hopeful test drivers… Even if they can afford it, they are clearly not gentlemen… And that tends to lead to more trouble down the line…

  234. texaSD says:

    Lannie, how do you know they can’t afford?

  235. Nicki says:

    AltNicole, In that case, we can co-author it! :)

    As far as spelling goes, I asked because I see that half of us use it one way, half the other way. I can see why someone would say “a SB” (= a sugarbaby), but also “an SB” (= an S. B. – reading out the abbreviation). So I will use the first then.

    I just noticed the new discussion. It’s a good one too!

  236. AtlNicole*389079* says:

    All of these are good possibilities. I was just amazed that all of my out of state attn was coming from one city. Honestly, I was hoping for someone from NYC or Cali, just because they are places I have always wanted to visit. I have dreams of strolling down 5th Ave with a SD on my arm…

  237. Lannie says:

    NYC SB:

    Have you found that SD’s who try to push a SB into bed on the first meet are usually ones who actually can not afford a SA? Just curious but I tend to view it that way and also prefer to get to know a Pot first as if there is no chemistry it just can’t happen for me.

  238. Lannie says:

    ATL Nicole:

    I am in Illinois but I seldom get contacted by anyone in Chicago , I think only two instead I am getting SD’s from California, Georgia, NY, NH, Mass and Fl. I think it may have to do with their business and the locales that they frequent . Also the ability to have their SA away from where they live so they can do things in public.

  239. texaSD says:

    But then again, I haven’t found anything i liked other than eye candy… maybe the some of the Chicago SD’s feel the same way, or are married or go to your location a lot. I don’t Search SB profiles that aren’t in an area that i need to be in. Just a thought.

  240. NYC SB says:

    According to my research – Chicago SDs seem to be very generous by nature… so count your blessings if you are willing to travel…

    Most men I have met have never offered shopping as part of the inital meet and greet and the ones that have offered usually have wanted something “extra” as my way of thanking them… to me its not worth it… i want to get to know the man before jumping in bed with him and have an agreement regarding an arrangement… however, this is just me… there is nothing wrong with being intimate on your first meeting if both parties involved consent to it… sometimes chemistry is that strong…

  241. Lannie says:

    It is interesting how many SB’s prefer dinner or lunch compared to drinks or coffee. I like keeping my options open before I commit to dinner as it seems if all a SD wannabee wants is to find the quickest path to bed he can be weeded out over a drink as I find it difficult to walk out on a dinner but it is easier for me to decline over coffee .

  242. Margo says:

    I would go out for tea if this is High Tea in a fancy hotel. And a guy who takes you to a place like that deserves attention.

  243. texaSD says:

    Nope, i don’t think so, I often search for Chicago SB

  244. AtlNicole*389079* says:

    Is there a shortage of SBs in Chicago? That seems to be the only city outside of GA that I am getting any emails from, and I have been contacted by 5 different men in that area this week. Two of them today. Seems a little bit strange to me.

  245. Margo says:

    NYC SB,
    I had a similar experience with coffee dates. Invitation to a restaurant of my choice tells me that the gentleman is serious.

  246. Lannie says:

    Is there any reason why no one is posting on the new blog? I noticed I am still the only one so came back to this discussion.

  247. Gemini29 says:

    Ah thanks NYC SB, that’s a good one. I wasn’t sure how to handle the whole “shopping” aspect…something HE offered, I thought originally, because he had to cancel our first date and felt bad or something. Oh silly me!

  248. Lannie says:

    I also agree on the smoking issue and hate for someone to represent theirselves as a non-smoker then I meet them and they reak of smoke. If a person smokes in their home some of that residual smoke clings to their clothes and furniture and even though they may not be aware of it, to a non-smoker the odor is very powerful.

    I think what is more important is honesty as for me a SA that will have any success needs trust and if one misrepresents themselves from the beginning, what does that say about their character and the type of person one is consideing for a Potential SD or SB? Just a thought but I look at all those subtle clues in the beginning that helps me to determine if he is real or fake and if one lies about such issues I would automatically put them in the fake list.

  249. Margo says:

    I agree with Gemini29 – “all about the first meeting being a put-your-best-foot-forward meeting…the SD should be the generous one and the SB the gorgeous one.”
    They will have better chemistry if see each other in the better environment. A girl will see a beautiful expensive place where the generous man brought her. Any student can invite her to Starbucks. Her senses will enjoy the gourmet food, and this is much better then just coffee which she has every day. And the chemistry starts from senses. No chemistry with a hungry girl :).
    When a guy invites me for coffee or drink I think that he is not sure if I am worthy to buy me a lunch or dinner, and he wants to see me first.

  250. NYC SB says:

    Gemi – Try this one: Thank you for your kind offer to take me shopping but I would like to respectfully decline. While I understand what an SD/SB relationship entails I am not comfortable with being intimate with somoene I just met. Best of luck in your search!

  251. NYC SB says:

    Just purchased 4 pairs of brand spanking new CL’s…. they were on sale at Neiman … BAD BAD BAD girl lol

    off to a scotch tasting event… given that i do not drink colored liquors i will be very heavily intoxicated …

  252. Gemini29 says:

    *bangeth head upon the desketh*

    arg. I really thought this pot SD and I had an understanding about the first date…its a first meeting, we talk, we chat, we get to know each other, we see if there is a connection and chemistry. He agreed. Ok so. Then he starts talking a shopping trip. Ok. cool, that would be nice. Then its, I’m going to buy you lingerie. Ohhkaaay…but..that would imply something other than a first date agreement. Then its I will give you orgasms. UM. WHAT. I was like “on the first date?” and he’s like “Sure! it would be fun!”

    *facepalm*

    I had a feeling about this. Way to 180 on me, but luckily I cannot be bought with shoes and a nice dress.

    Trying to figure out a polite chilly reply back.

  253. NYC SB says:

    LOL movie comes AFTER the book… “Confessions of a NYC SB”

  254. AtlNicole*389079* says:

    SincereSD – Time to have a talk with your SB. You are letting yourself be too nice, something you say is a weakness of yours. You can always come hibernate down here in ATL. A little time in GA and you won’t even remember her name :)

    KitKat- Is it okay if we share SincereSD? He is mynew blog crush too.

    I have noticed that a lot of SDs don’t mention their smoking habits either. I hate cigar smoke the way everyone here hates cigarettes. Maybe I have worked in bars so long that I have become immune to the smell of cigarettes. Or maybe it is because I used to smoke.

    Nicki – We may have to fight for NYCs movie rights. Get your CLs ready :)

  255. texaSD says:

    Nicki, you would say, a SD or a SB, you use an if there is a vowel after it, so like an asshole, or something of that nature

  256. texaSD says:

    Sincere Honestly, i think its time to say bye to her..

  257. NeOhio SB says:

    Nicki: “A” comes before a consonant….”An” comes before a vowel….few exceptions….so, it will always be “A SD” or “A SB”.

  258. Nicki says:

    As far as smoking goes, honesty is the best policy, because it’s a deal breaker for most. I’m a non-smoker, never dated a smoker, but I think cigars are kinda sexy. 😉

  259. Nicki says:

    Again, it took metwo hours to catch up on my blog readings.

    A few quick comments:

    Jayde5502 (and anyone else who ever felt desparate about this) – I’ve been there. I was in a squueze having to pay my tuition and buy a new car at the same time moving and losing my job. It would have been easy to accept the first Sd’s offer that came my way, especially since there were only a few. But I waited and stuck it out (not to advocate credit card use, but it was better than all my other options), and eventually good offers started to come in. Right now I have three prospects, but only 2 I like and one so-so. I found the following really works:
    1. Let them work for you. Let them know that you are not in need (we know… just go along for now!), you can and will wait to find the perfect guy! Your confidence will be irresistible!

    2. Show them that you are busy, you have a life! This will impress them, make them feel secure that you won’t be clingy and also eliminate the ones who want to spend way too much time with you (whatever that might be by your definition.)

    3. Keep an appearance of honesty. (I know many will shun me for saying this, but it’s reality!) Make everything you say sound like an honest revelation of who you are / what you need, etc. Most men I met on here told me that they found it refreshing that I was not afraid to open up and talk about my life / dreams, etc.

    Stick it out, this dryspell will end soon!

    Rica, as others said, SDs don’t care about etnicity. Your looks and charm is what gets them… But I would also point out that some SDs are interested in meeting someone of a different race, who they otherwise would never have a chance to date (not necessarily talking about a fetish, just healthy curiosity.)

    I love reading people’s stories on here! Thanks for sharing!

    NYC SB – your life is like a fairy tale! Can I have the movie rights? Lol.

    Sincere SD – wow, you are one in a million! As a woman, IRL, if I have a half-nude sexy guy “sleeping” in my bed, I will not exercise such self-control! The minimum I’ll do is sulk and pout that I’ve been stood up…

    A question I’ve been wondering! Which one is correct? “A SD” or “an SD?” Same for SB.

  260. NYC SB says:

    NC Gent says: by the way NYC SB — your call forwarding ploy for stalkers is splendid

    NC – its terrible that I have to resort to such childish games… some men just cannot take rejection well … i dont think i ever want to date anyone in their 30’s

  261. Gemini29 says:

    I agree on the smoking issue. I’m a non-smoker, and once dated a smoker. It was pretty bad…even after a quick smoke he would have the smell all over his hands, his face, his arms, etc….and it got old pretty fast having to remind him to go wash all those parts every time after he smoked. So even if the SB or SD took a quick nip outside for a smoke break, that smell will hang around on the person afterwards. Cigars luckily do not bother me in quite the same way, but cigarettes are pretty darn foul in my opinion. So I would be honest about your smoking habits on your profile. I would be extremely annoyed if a SD showed up reeking of cigarettes or said he needed to take a smoke break if he stated he was a non-smoker.

  262. NC Gent says:

    By the way NYC SB — your call forwarding ploy for stalkers is splendid :)

  263. NYC SB says:

    NC Gent says: By the same argument, is one not a drug addict just because they don’t do drugs when they are with you?

    Well I could say that smoking is legal while drugs are not… but I hear you loud and clear and I agree

  264. DC says:

    On the smoking issue….well if you change it you might get more responses but one thing you should know is that most people can tell you are a smoker even if you don’t smoke for a day or two before a date.

    In the past I have tried dating smokers. They swore they would not smoke around me and were always brushing their teeth or using mouthwash or chewing gum. It would help initially but I would definitely notice the taste of cigarettes if we were kissing. Needless to say, I couldn’t get over the fact that I was sensitive to the taste and I like to kiss too much to overlook it.

    I think most smokers have lost a good portion of their ability to smell and taste things. They can’t tell that the taste and smell of smoke is still there…lingering in their clothes etc. It’s really a shame because I have passed on quite a few guys that would have been great matches for me if they didn’t smoke.

    Maybe you will get lucky and there will be an SD out there who smokes as well and it won’t be an issue. However, if it were me I would use this as one more reason to quit.

  265. NC Gent says:

    By the same argument, is one not a drug addict just because they don’t do drugs when they are with you?

  266. NC Gent says:

    I disagree NYC SB — the smoke lingers on clothing, skin, teeth, hair, etc. It is a nasty smell IMHO that I don’t really want to deal with.

  267. Gemini29 says:

    NYC SB : “3) You could forward numbers – My stalker boys calls to meare now being forwarded to his place of employment ”

    :O <—my jaw dropping open and doing the omg face!

    AWESOME!

    I want Gvoice….oh my god awesomesauce!

  268. NYC SB says:

    SugaCaneBby – where is homebase? NYC surprisingly (or not) has diminished the number of smokers due to the whole “no smoking in public places ordinance”

  269. NYC SB says:

    NC – I think that if she is able to not smoke whenever she spends time with you then technically she is not a smoker… its called sugar coating 😉

  270. SugaCaneBby says:

    Lol, for you guys to talk about how much of a turn-off smoking is seems foreign to me. REALLY letting my locale get to me I guess. Everyone smokes here. Not even kidding. Cigarette butts litter the street and I feel like I’m in the minority of those that the habit bothers.

    Just another reason to move. :)

  271. NC Gent says:

    In my opinion, it really sucks when the SB puts down “non-smoker” when she is a smoker. I had an SB do that to me — we were about 30 minutes into the date and she needed a cigarette break (probably because it is stressful being with me). When I inquired about it, she said that she got a lot less inquiries when she listed herself like as a smoker — the word duhhhhhhhh came to mind!

  272. NYC SB says:

    sweetnpetite says: DC’s should i put non-smoker down?

    I know im not DC but IMO you should put down non smoker only if you can abstain from smoking while with the SD :)

  273. photogirl says:

    NYC SB – # 3 is the best! That’ll teach ’em

  274. SugaCaneBby says:

    NYC – Geeeez. I went to the GVoice page last week I think and entered my info to let them know to invite me. Sounds like a sweet deal. 😀

  275. sweetnpetite says:

    Thanks for all your help..i will go in and modify it.
    DC’s should i put non-smoker down?

  276. NYC SB says:

    Reasons why I love GVoice:
    1) You can block texts – Figured it out last night YAY ME
    2) You can select a special VM message for each number calling you – Did this as well
    3) You could forward numbers – My stalker boys calls to meare now being forwarded to his place of employment

    😀 Dont mess with me!

  277. NYC SB says:

    DC – I have had some coffee dates… my experience has been that most of them were not serious about this nor were willing to provide a monthly allowance… their idea of an arrangement is meet a couple of times for dinner followed by dessert in their room… this is why I am a bit put off by the notion but i am sure there are exceptions to everything

    I recall one gentleman saying “Lets meet for coffee” and me agreeing to it to which he replies “ok and after coffee can we go somewhere private for adult fun” ummmm no thanks

  278. NYC SB says:

    SweetnPetite – I was able to view your profile… i definitely know its yours as it has your name in it :)

    Try putting another picture up (or two the more the better no?) that is a bit clearer… Im not sure if I would say that I own a home on my profile… and I agree with DC’s comments… being a smoker gets you passed on by many SDs… another thing could be your location… I am not sure how many SDs are in Arizona…

    Either way feel free to contact any SD that you like… there is nothing wrong with that… some will write back most will not… this is just part of the course but you have nothing to lose

  279. DC says:

    NYCSB- I used to be slightly offended when a pot SD suggested coffee but I got over it fast. The guys who suggested this on our first date were in the 10-50 mil range so it had nothing to do with their ability to afford an expensive dinner nor was it suggestive of their future generosity.I had one SD give me $1,000 cash at the end of our first coffee date and said the gift was mine whether or not we ever met again.

    I actually prefer coffee for a first date because it can be short and sweet should there not be any chemistry.

    I have never had an SD offer to take me out for an expensive dinner or for a shopping spree without meeting me first. Perhaps this has something to do with my marketability (age/looks etc.). I would imagine if an SB is young and gorgeous there are lots of SDs competing for their attention and they feel they need to make a big impression on them right off the bat.

    But I would recommend not ruling out an SD who prefers to meet for coffee first. If they want to take you to Sizzler on the second date I would worry LOL

  280. Koi says:

    Hi Gemini!

    I agree with your definition of NSA! Can we get that published? lol

  281. DC says:

    Hmmm…I wonder whose profile I was looking at then LOL

  282. NC Gent says:

    oddly it say profile not approved when I try to view it hmmmm

  283. NC Gent says:

    Hi SweetnPetite – your profile isn’t approved yet, that is why you haven’t gotten any responses. It takes about 1-2 days lately. We will be glad to look at it and make suggestions when it is approved.

    Also, there are no rules here, so go ahead and email a potential SD. Some will be flattered; some will be nice; some will be rude; some won’t respond — it is all part of the sugar world unfortunately. One thing is for certain, if you don’t email any, you won’t ever get email back :)

  284. DC says:

    Hi sweetnpetite-

    Welcome!

    I looked at your profile. From what I can tell you look very cute but the picture is kind of far away and dark and hard to make out your features. I would keep that photo as it shows that you are slim and in good shape but maybe post another close up of your face (unless you are trying to be discreet).

    I do see 2 factors that might affect your success here so I hope you won’t mind my being very upfront with you.

    One is that you are a smoker. Many men will pass based on this fact alone.

    The other thing is your age. Please don’t take this wrong, I am not saying you are too old to be a sugar baby, but that is obviously going to affect the amount of men who contact you. I am 50 and my expectations are realistic. If a typical 25 year old attractive SB gets 100 e-mails a month I figure I am lucky if I get 1-2. But don’t get discouraged. There are wonderful SDs out there who are looking for someone closer to their age and appreciate what an older woman brings to the table. But unfortunately they are few and far between.

    It’s not wrong to initiate the first e-mail. Matter of fact I recommend it because you have nothing to lose. It may get the attention of someone who normally would not consider you for whatever reason. The only problem is that many men here will see an e-mail in their inbox and make a judgement whether or not to even open the e-mail based on your picture. I have spent time writing thoughtful e-mails to men only to find they did not even read it even though it showed they logged in after I sent it. But I figure I spent just a few minutes of my time writing to them and it was worth a shot. It’s like trying to find a job these days……every job posted gets maybe 500 resumes. The men here have the upper hand and can be very very choosy as well.

    I try not to take it personally and just move on. Good luck to you!

    Good luck to you.

  285. sweetnpetite says:

    Hi,
    I am new at this and have not had any responses to my profile,I need help if someone could look at it and see what I have done wrong and give me pionters maybe I am to old..Profile #377767..It would be greatly appreciated.
    Also,Is it wrong to initiate the first email to a sugar daddy.
    Thank you all sooo much……:)

  286. oh I was meaning its surburbie around here not too built up yet!!

  287. I like the coffe idea maybe that there is many starbucks around here most have a place out from the building and that is where I sit at, dosent work too good with the 3’oclock rainstorms though!

  288. Gemini29 says:

    I think a tea house sounds like a lovely idea, but I just don’t know how many guys are really into tea. Maybe coffee at some place like…I don’t know…Tavern on the Green…would be different than coffee at the local bean shop. :) I’m all about the first meeting being a put-your-best-foot-forward meeting…the SD should be the generous one and the SB the gorgeous one 😉

  289. NC Gent says:

    Yes — Starbucks in big cities can be very crowded. Usually what I do is offer the SB the option — coffee, lunch, drinks and/or dinner. I haven’t done any statistical analysis, but I would have to say that lunch is probably the most requested, with coffee and dinner a close second. Drinks is probably the least selected but my sampling is probably biased because I am married and it is more difficult to go out for dinner and drinks :)

  290. NYC SB says:

    Oh Per Se was such an incredible experience… even if I didnt have an SD I would save up the money to go and experience it once again…

  291. NYC SB says:

    Gemi and NYC SB have the same thought process… plus Starbucks in the city are too crowded and quiet for a proper conversation in my opinion

  292. Gemini29 says:

    NC Gent and NYC SB – I’m not a big fan of coffee, hence I don’t do the “lets meet for coffee” dealio. I am more of a fan of lets meet for drinks with the possibility of dinner. Except if I’m traveling to meet the pot SD somewhere and in that case, please feed the nice traveling Gemi. :)

  293. Lannie says:

    NC Gent:

    You remind me of a movie “Sleepless in Seatle” where he says first take the woman out to coffee or drinks but leave it open for dinner just in case. (smiles) When I am meeting a Pot SD I like have the flexability to start with coffee and then see from there as I hate having to go through dinner with someone I know right from the start that it will not happen. I look good for myself not for the person I might meet so I do not worry about how much time I spend getting ready but often I have found you can learn more over coffee than you can dinner as you get interrupted less.

    My previous SD had taken me to a Tea house for proper tea in the beginning and I loved that as proper attire was important but it also had a hint of elegance with out all the expectations that a dinner has.

  294. NC Gent says:

    For my best sugar relationship, our first meet was for coffee. I could have afforded more. I have done first meets from coffee to expensive dinners. The first meeting is really about getting to know each other and determining if there is chemistry, and I don’t think the venue is that important as long as it is safe and comfortable. Not to say that I would suggest Subway or McDonalds :)

  295. NYC SB says:

    Margo says: I never go out for coffee, because coffee is too cheap and does not worth my make up. I spend enough time preparing for the first meeting to expect something better.

    AMEN SISTER! Coffee????? Come on what kind of an SD cant afford at least a drink or something… Most of my meetings have been dinners… however, if I ever start looking again it will be drinks with the possibility of dinner

  296. Lannie says:

    Hello Everyone:

    I am back home and tired but enjoyed NYC and loved the shopping yet my Pot thought I was frugal as I refused to accept to many items..lol.. that was a twist for me. It is so good to be back home and able to blog again.

    Sincere: I loved your story about your trip, and I think that is often why it is so important to discuss these details before you take a trip with a Pot SB/SD. Chemistry is a funny thing and sometimes one person might feel it but not the other so you might want to keep your eyes open and get a discussion going about future meetings and your expectations.

    Kit:
    Did not make any Nascar connections but how about the Indy circuit…lol.. made a connection there..lol.. Hope you weekend was sugar filled.

  297. Lannie says:

    “Do any of you do non-cash arrangements such a direct bill pay or gift certificate options? Is this looked at by SD’s as more time consuming and unfavorable as cash is just easier?
    In my previous arrangement I was provided with a credit card for my needs and also was given cash. Today there are many prepaid cards that can be upgraded to load up to ten thousand or more dollars at a time but the paper trail will require for reporting on taxes and that can be complicated in many states.

    On average, do most sugar relationships last only 3 months?
    Actually I think the average would be closer to 8 months to a year. I was in an arragement for almost 8 years which I was comfortable in and I think sometimes it is easier for a SB to have a short term arrangement than a long term as it is less complicated and for me that is the purpose of a SA to avoid the drama and complications in a traditional relationship.

    Should you only date one sugar at a time, is this something that is usually discused with a sugar or only if asked?”

    For me it is about monogamy and in my profile I state that. I feel that as a SB if I had more than one SD it would be confusing and at some point complicated. However, I know there are some SD’s whose budget could not afford someone exclusively and some SB’s prefer to have more than one SD whose budget is less but they also have more freedom in their arrangements so it is a trade off.

  298. NC Gent says:

    Sincere — your story is much more tragic than mine — at least I found out before I ever met her in person.

    Now what OC said really caught my eye…

    OC Said:
    Break ups happen in stages naturally given the human nature of things:
    1) One person creates distance between the other
    2) The other sensing the distance confronts the person
    3) Outcome = ending/breaking up

    Well that is exactly what happened to me — I felt that my SB was becoming more distant and aloof, so I sensed it, and ended the arrangement. When it ended, she shocked me by saying she still wanted to do things as friends. I ended it about two weeks ago, and she has been a different person since then. We are having lunch tomorrow to talk about it, but I am extremely reluctant to re-start something that failed in the first place.

  299. Gemini29 says:

    SincereSD – Whaaaaaaaaaat? Man she is sending some mixed signals. If I’m not ready to sleeeeep with someone (in that way) you better bet your boots I’m not going to be sharing a bed or a room with them. Either way, frankly, I feel she’s being rather stupid and putting herself in (what could be) a dangerous situation (not rabbing on you, but…imagine if she was doing this with mr. insincere sd…)

    But on another note…I think NSA SHOULD mean… No Strings Attached. As in…not a single string attached to anything. If there is chemistry and we both want to act on it, fine, but do not EXPECT me to have sex with you. 😉

    TLG – I don’t see the point of having multiple accounts. I ran into the same thing once, just because I noticed the same guy appearing 4 different times. 2 of his accounts were “Sb/Sd couple looking for third” accounts and 2 were just of him..but radically different from each other. and…all..used the same picture!! It was tres funny when it all showed up in the search on the same search page. But now I’m paranoid that I’ll email a guy twice…and not realize it. I can see why a SB may do it (might be an escort, or stupid) but why a SD?

  300. The Lone Gunman says:

    SincereSD:

    Allow me to pound my head into the ground in frustration on your behalf.

    TLG

  301. Sincere that is a story!! I would say miss lady is attempting to send wrong signals, or she is Testing you, neither is very productive , if she felt safe enough to be sleeping in the same bed , I just dont see why all the show of flesh. I guess to each her own

  302. SincereSD says:

    NC Gent says: I had been corresponding with a potential SB, but she was shocked to find out that NSA meant “no strings attached” and NOT “no sex at all” — she had thought all the profiles with NSA (as well as her’s) meant the latter :) …I thought it was pretty hysterical too. I can imagine the thoughts that went through her mind when she figured there might actually be sex involved. Evidently, in the future, I need to ask what they mean by the NSA in their profile lol The time wasted was well worth the laugh though :)

    HAHA, I wish I had read this before my last SB encounter. It’s not that funny when you are one of the actors in the play. So here’s my story …

    I’m usually a cautious person and take time to establish chemistry and fit before I get serious with a SB. I’m one of the silly SD who actually turns down “test drives” if there is no chemistry. However, I was getting tired of IM and emailing pot SB. My search started slowly but the response has been overwhelming halfway into the month.

    So I’m on a date with a pot. SB and I am pleasantly surprised at the chemistry. We had exchanged contact information but did not actually talk or IM until our date. In the course of the conversation, I mentioned an upcoming business trip and she asked if she could accompany me. We went on a second date several days later, agreed on our agreement and planned the trip.

    Fast forward to the trip … We are settling in the room after a long day of travel, freshening up and getting ready for bed. She comes out in this stunning thong and tight t-shirt combination … climbs into bed, kisses me, turns over and goes to sleep. :'(

    The rest of the trip didn’t go much much from an intimacy perspective and believe me, it took a ton of willpower to remain a gentleman with a semi-dressed woman lying next to me in bed. (Oh, her story is that she wants to wait until we get to know each other better!!)

    I am still seeing her and hope that I don’t have to change my handle to SuckerSD.

    OK, back to work now! As entertaining as this sounds, I didn’t get up early to review the blog.

  303. SincereSD says:

    Kit-Kat*367987* says: Stephan What are the Ratios here anyway? Sb/SD?
    In my state, the ratio of active SB to SD is 9:1. I’m defining active as SD who are premium members and SB who have been active in the last 30 days.

    Kit-Kat*367987* says: I was hoping you would post as you are my blog crush!
    Awww … you’re pretty nice yourself.

    Flo Rida says: SincereSD – Do you mind my asking which state do you live in?
    I’m from the 51 state … Canada, province of Ontario. Winter is coming so I may have to move to Florida or hibernate for the winter.

  304. SincereSD says:

    AtlNicole*389079* says: I notice that my SD still has his account active, and I am wondering if this is normal. I decided to hedge my bets and keep mine active too, just in case this doesn’t work out. I also see that he is checking his account daily, but I heard that the time stamps are often wrong on this site.
    Any insight?

    Nicole, here’s my feedback on your questions.

    The login dates have been fairly accurate for me unless I run into profiles that hide this information. As to why your pot. SD is checking his SA account, it could be for several reasons:
    – He’s still looking;
    – He’s still receiving mail and responding;
    – He’s checking up on you.

    I would ask him the next time you see him why he’s still on the site; alternatively, you can tell him you are (will be?) deleting your profile as a way to solicit feedback on what he is going to do with his profile.

    The real acid test will be:
    – if he renews his premium membership when it expires; that will usually be 1 month after the “profile created” date (unless he is a paidup member for 3 months). There is no need to renew a SD membership if he is not looking. Being a standard member is relatively innocuous, as he will not be able to reply to other SB.
    – how he answers your question as to whether you two are exclusive, as well as whether he’s happy with the relationship between you and him.

    In my case, I have excluded my profile from any search and have not renewed my premium membership. Those SB who know my profile number or have corresponded to me in the past can still find me. I haven’t deleted my profile because it takes time and effort to recreate plus I am undecided in my choice of pot. SB.

    Don’t mistake the exchange of an allowance as a sign of a committed relationship. I have given advances to pot SB. (not always a wise decision as I’m sure RealisticSD and I can attest to) … without taking a test drive. It may take a couple of dates to be sure about a pot. SB but I am fair game until I tell my SB that I am in a committed, exclusive relationship with her. (In my case, I am only looking at one ongoing SB relationship).

  305. Sweety SB~ AKA BG says:

    sending you good thought for you test, night night

  306. AtlNicole*389079* says:

    Goodnight everyone! Hope you have a great day tomorrow. WIsh me luck on my test!

  307. hey Sweety and goodnight Iam going off too!!

  308. Sweety SB~ AKA BG says:

    Night Kit Kat!

  309. Sweety SB~ AKA BG says:

    wannabeSD~ LMAO! yep, that is a thought you sure don’t want to have !!!
    thanks for the laugh! 😀
    Good night sugars!

  310. Atl well then you keep looking also why not?

  311. wannabe SD he just trying to Remind us all to be careful! PSA right?
    lol

  312. wannabeSD says:

    RealisticSD:
    I’ve been lurking a bit but I’ve just gotta say this. I’m in a position sort of like the 80s computer nerds working in basements and garages hoping to strike it rich, except it’s the alt energy business these days. Now, working long hours for no pay is tough so I’ll admit I needed inspiration. So I figure, hey. Why not check out this sugar baby thing? I mean, maybe if I can plant the idea in my head that success could attract the woman of my dreams into my life it might put some wind in my sails, y’know?

    Now, I’m reading this blog and this guy is giving some pretty wise and sage advice about the dangers of STDs, and I can appreciate that. But now I have this whole new vision in my mind.

    I’ve slaved, sacrified and sweated to mold myself into the sort of guy an exraordinarily beautiful woman would have an interest in. The moment arrives. We’re in some swanky eatery. The food, the lighting, the atmosphere, the mood. Perfect. She’s sitting across from me at last. She’s witty, intellegent, charming, dressed to kill. I’m sitting there looking like a deer in the headlights remembering this blog and thinking “geez, I hope she doesn’t have genital lice”.

    Thanks for the bucket of ice water bro. *lol* 😉

    I’m going to bed.

  313. AtlNicole*389079* says:

    Nah. I even told him that I am going to date other people. He never told me either way, which I assume means that he will see other women as well. It kinda makes me feel like he is on here searching for a better girl. I guess I will just have to show him that I am the best :)
    He doesn’t seem interested in the blogs, although he may lurk from time to time. I have no idea.

  314. Atl
    I think it is! a SD says his account remains active and he has other SB’s
    then another S/D I know he only comes on the blogs until he has made his decision to part from his sb.
    but ya know how it goes nsa! unless he said something about being one on one!

  315. AtlNicole*389079* says:

    On to a better subject…
    I notice that my SD still has his account active, and I am wondering if this is normal. I decided to hedge my bets and keep mine active too, just in case this doesn’t work out. I also see that he is checking his account daily, but I heard that the time stamps are often wrong on this site.
    Any insight?

  316. palm says:

    nobody is hating on lisa, who needs to anyway?one thing is sure, her true colors are showing. people come here for support and we can all agree to disagree without being nasty. A couple of time lisa treatened to kill herself on this blog because people didn’t agree with her, this is nothing new.

  317. Lurker my apoligies if I did not directly answer you you know I’m sorta new here too.

  318. ATL I will say check the Archives, it is been like this since august!

  319. lurking person says:

    i lurk here, read all your blogs. i have to say that, all this trash talk is getting tiresome …. leave Lisa alone, let it go, get over it…. this isn’t high school, it’s a blog
    we all have different views, we all have freedom of speech. why not just let things go and stop hating. this is why there is war. no one can just accept ones opinion. let it go, lets move on.
    lisa im sorry they are hating the rest just let it go, this is craziness.
    this is the reason i never post. i asked one question once and i got no reply. sorry but get over yourselves please.

  320. palm this person has some emotional issuses which you already seem well aware of. thankyou for speaking up also!

    With all due respect
    I remember/researched a post from Blue harbor or some one had directly stated the use of a mental health evaluation might be beneficial!
    I do not like to say things to people but I rather take vehement offense to people who will call morality on the floor because of a choice, the choice is that individuals just as it was hers,to contuinue a pregnancy, no child Born into this world is illigimite*will site religon* all children are harmless and innocent just as you were when your mom borne you.
    make ammends with your family as it is obvuious that this is a very very painful subject/situation. I wish you luck and support in that venture. and believe this or not I am pulling for you.

  321. AtlNicole*389079* says:

    I don’t know why this blog has turned so nasty all of a sudden, but I think we should all chill out. Of course we all come from different backgrounds and have different beliefs. The whole point of the blog is to encourage each other and share advice. A person’s personal circumstances or beliefs have nothing to do with it. I am sure we all have enough drama IRL without seeing it here too. I know I do.

  322. palm says:

    I’ve been on this blogger longer than you have, actually I was one of the first people to post but it seems i’m no longer welcome

    Funny a sd told me that if he were to read this blog as it is today, he would definately not join this site, he said it’s become trashy.

    im mostly a lurker as I’ve only posted here a couple of time but I had to get out of lurker mode to comment on LISA’s nasty attitude.
    Lisa just because you were one on this blog doesn’t mean that you can be nasty to new members. You should be the last person to be judging anyone or throwing words like classy or trash.people on this blog know how you live. you live in a trashy and dangerous area but manage to look down on your neighbor ?come on lisa you’re not better than them. you judge single moms, you are one. you were never married, you though you were but that guy was just with you to get his geen card. see, you picked the wrong man just like some of the single moms. those single moms you talk about are working 2 jobs to raise their own children instead of having grandpa and grandma raise them. you have always been negative always blaming things on your upbringing, illegal immigrants, singles moms etc..

  323. Koi says:

    Hi Margo~

    That’s kind of the way I see it! We put soo much time and prep into getting ready, don’t we ladies. =) Plus, the drive…

  324. Margo says:

    I never go out for coffee, because coffee is too cheap and does not worth my make up. I spend enough time preparing for the first meeting to expect something better. If you don’t like the guy you can always find an excuse to leave.

  325. Sweety SB~ AKA BG says:

    VC~ Girl I love that!!! SA Angels lol

  326. Koi says:

    AtlNicole~ Yes, you are right… dinner can seem long with the wrong person. I will keep that in mind for the future. Thanks!

    As for dinner tomorrow, I’ll just hope it goes well! =)

  327. Flo Rida says:

    FLsugarbabe – Glad you have a nice pot. If he is paying after the 1st date that’s promising. No free test drives, be SAFE (read my and other’s earlier blog in this thread or the last thread). If you’re comfortable with $2k then go for it, I always advise waiting until you see if you have chemistry and also for him to see how wonderful you are but there are no golden rules. In terms of nerves, that’s your minds way of telling you you haven’t done this before, BREATH, MEDITATE, THINK ONLY POSITIVE THOUGHTS, SCRIPT WHAT YOU ARE GOING TO SAY, THINK OF WHAT HE”LL ASK YOU, PRETEND HE’S YOUR BF THAT YOU HAVEN;T SEEN IN A MONTH, RELAX AND ENJOY.

    I’m going to hide tomorrow, play nice without me. Cheerio and nite.

  328. AtlNicole*389079* says:

    Koi- I prefer the first meeting be for coffee or lunch. Something quick and casual. If all goes well after that I let the SD choose. I had one take me out to dinner and dancing, which was a lot of fun, and another took me to see his horses since I am an animal lover.

    For some reason dinner just seems more intimate to me, and dinner can take FOREVER if there is no chemistry.

  329. Koi says:

    Kit Kat~

    I saw you use the word, “Yall”, which I do to! What state are you from?

  330. AtlNicole*389079* says:

    I got my fix of House for the night. Yummiest Doctor on the planet…just don’t tell my SD :)

    How is your search going Kit Kat?

  331. Koi says:

    Hi LoneGunMan

    Yes, seems like that happens a lot! Both men and women, though!

  332. AtlNicole*389079* says:

    Kit Kat – I am great tonight. My first midterm is in the morning. The practice test was really easy, but I always get nervous with tests… Oooh, I get to see my new SD again tomorrow night. That is always exciting. I can’t wait to thank him for the new TV.

    TLG – I have run into that with SDs. There is one in particular that has at least 3 profiles, only under different locations. Some people don’t even use different pics.

  333. Koi says:

    Hi everyone!

    Welcome to Margo and FLsugarbabe!

    I’ve got a dinner date tomorrow with a pot SD! (Wish me luck, again!)

    Do you all prefer to meet for coffee, lunch, dinner?

  334. The Lone Gunman says:

    One of the advantages to paid membership here is that I have the opportunity to see who has viewed my profile.

    So I struck up an email correspondence with a potential SB and we were progressing towards a meeting, when I noticed another who had looked at my profile and said “that picture seems familiar”. Checking it out, there’s no doubt in my mind it’s the same person–different pictures, a few pound heavier, but still the same. The tipoff was that she had done little to change the wording of the profile, and the ending paragraph was exactly the same–right down to the bad punctuation!

    Anybody else experience something like this?

    TLG

  335. hey Atl how you doing tonight?

  336. AtlNicole*389079* says:

    FlSugarbabe – Hello and welcome to the blog. Sounds like you have found a good pot to start off with. Try to start with something casual like lunch, so you don’t feel as much pressure. There is no right way to act, just try to be confident and play up your favorite parts of your personality. Wear something cute and flirty, but not too sexy. There will be time to pull out those tricks later on. Other than that, have fun, and keep us updated!

  337. Flsugarbabe you down south?

  338. ok yall What is everybody doing??
    hellloooo!!

  339. RainyStreet says:

    Nice. How long did you say you’ve been on here again???

  340. FLsugarbabe says:

    Helllo All.. this blog has helped me out ALOT you guys are great!

    I’m new to the SB/SD thing but I’m very excited I got a message from a pot SD (i’m paying attention I already got the slang down ;-] lol )anywho.. and he sounds so nice and genuine we’ve been i/m’n each other for about a week now and he offered to pay my rent for Oct after our 1st date to show me he’s genuine..

    I don’t know if I made a mistake but we were chatting about the arrangement and I asked him if we were to go through with the arrangement what would be my allowance he said at first 2k Do you think I should have waited?

    and I’m also really nervous too.. lol I’ve never done this before.. what should my attitude be like?…

  341. AtlNicole*389079* says:

    Realistic – Mostly i was referring to the pots that disappear after the first couple dates. At that point I think it is acceptable to call it off via text message or email. After you reach the level of intimacy, I think a more personal approach should be required.

    I usually have a very high self esteem, but if I try to communicate with a man and he completely ignores me, that feels like the worst kind of rejection. At the same time I understand that most real SDs have busy lives, so I have made it my rule that I will send two messages, and if neither gets returned, I just assume it is a lost cause.

  342. Margo says:

    Next time I will ask – why did you say that?

  343. Margo says:

    Thank you, Flo Rida!
    So that is a part of negotiation.

  344. we are all playing nice Flo!!

  345. Flo Rida says:

    Kit-Kat – You have mail – sorry really busy (apart from the story telling that failed like a brick – boo hoo). Hopefully I answered your q – I only check that email account at night as I have four emails to check (work1, work2, charity email and confidential email) and work1 and work2 take priority during work day.

    Margo – it’s because stock markets have fallen about 30%, house prices by 15-30% and wage growth is stagnant and credit has disappeared and so SDs don’t feel like spending. BUT that doesn’t answer your question, I would ask “Is money important to you (yes)?, Is having an incredible, affectionate, beautiful SB important to you (yes – maybe)?, Do you want a low price but an unhappy or bad SB? (huh?), Are somethings worth paying for (eh maybe)?”. At the end of the day SD have to pay for some things.

    Alright ladies I’m out to din dins, play nice.

  346. Margo says:

    Why every man I meet says ” I am not rich” ?

  347. I had kinda been talking to a pot.. a money daddy too! * money dadddy as in one to help wit financial advice* not an ATM!

  348. Koi says:

    Realistic,

    I say just be honest. I prefer someone just tell me they are not interested rather than just fall off the face of the earth. Lol.

    I offer the same courtesy in return. =)

  349. Flo did you get my e-mail?

  350. DC says:

    NYCSB- sounds like a classic example of the “wounded animal syndrome.”

    I think your approach is best. I have found that just ignoring them works like a charm. Worst approach is to engage them or try and reason with them or return the vitriol. Eventually they get bored and move on to the next victim. Good thing you found out before you got involved with him

    • OCSugarbaby says:

      Hi ya DC!
      NYCSB: I have an iPhone and a regular cell phone. One is AT&T and the other isn’t. I never give out my iPhone number, because of the lack of ease to block with that carrier. LOL I call it my BAT phone, only VIP’s have the number!!!
      Just tell him if he continues to call or txt you will post his number all over the web with the caption “Looking for a Good Time”

  351. Margo is this the Frilly guy?

  352. kit kat here I dont scare away!!

    • OCSugarbaby says:

      Kit-Kat: Good because I would never want that to happen. Everyone is welcome! Longevity has nothing to do with posting.

  353. RealisticSD says:

    The NSA story is hilarious.

    I sometimes wonder if people mean the same thing by NSA.

    AltNicole, I have a hard time telling someone I am not interested any more, unless they did something clearly awful. So breaking up with people is always hard for me. Any advice on how to break up tactfully?

    • OCSugarbaby says:

      Kit-Kat: Come back out and PLAY!!!

    • OCSugarbaby says:

      RealisticSD: Break ups happen in stages naturally given the human nature of things:
      1) One person creates distance between the other
      2) The other sensing the distance confronts the person
      3) Outcome = ending/breaking up

  354. Margo says:

    Margo says:
    September 24, 2009 at 11:57 am

    Here is another story. I’ve posted it in an old blog by mistake first.

    I had a nice lunch with a lawyer. I made it very clear in my emails, that I was interested in an arrangement. Then he invited me for dinner to a restaurant of my choice. I picked a classy upscale restaurant. He said that was a lovely place and a great idea. I sent him an email that I was looking forward for the dinner and even bought a special dress for that. But his reply made me shocked:
    “Please do not wear panties under the dress. I want to see that nice ass of yours through the dress.”
    And then:
    “I will bring a nice bottle of Shiraz and we can go back to your apartment.”

    But I am not his lover! He can take me to nice places and talk, but if he wants to make the relationship more intimate, he should discuss an arrangement first.

  355. Flo Rida says:

    SincereSD – Do you mind my asking which state do you live in?

    AtlNicole and NYC SB – mummy told me (I sound like forrest gump right) “always leave a relationship and your partner in a healthier mental state than when you entered it” – well all i can say to mummy is easier said than done, but that’s probably why I’m a pleaser and I try to make sure everyone get’s along

    WARNING WARNING NON-PG13 STUFF BELOW

    All – On a lighter note, for some FUN let’s tell stories, let’s say one HAPPY (or funny or outrageous), SAD and THING YET TO DO in a SD SB relationship. I’ll go first:

    OUTRAGEOUS: “There were about 10 of us in a restaurant in a semi-private but not totally private room, and we chugging expensive wine directly from the bottle and the guys dare the girls to “show their boobies” and one of the girls said “we’ll show you our boobies if you guys strip naked right in front of us”, “I screamed, I’m not in on this one, NO!”, “Well the guys strip down to their boxers / briefs and then take those off but use napkins to cover their privates, and the restaurant owner came over to complain about the noise, SD pulls out a wad of about $1,000 and gives it to the owner and says “make the problem go away”, the girls scream “Hey you didn’t show your weeny, deals off” – I burst out laughing (the alcohol had an effect). Needless to say neither side felt the other complied with the bet”.

    SAD: I know this SD relationship will end one day.

    THING YET TO DO in a SD SB relationship: I’d like a private tour of Gitmo on Cuba (legally of course) OR go to Capetown, South Africa – Africa is the one continent I’ve never been to.

    SORRY for the frivolity but with NYC SB’s phone problems I thought we needed a laugh.

  356. Viking Hybrid says:

    NYC – What a loser! Sounds like 35 going on 13.

    I’m jealous that you’re in NYC. I lived there for years, and want badly to move back :)

  357. AtlNicole*389079* says:

    NYC – People are always full of surprises. I guess this situation is the exact opposite of the grown men who do not havethe decency to tell you they are just not interested anymore. They disappear and stop returning calls and texts. Both senarios drive me up the wall.

  358. NYC SB says:

    AtlNicole – I refuse to reply to him and give him the satisfaction in knowing he got to me… and i have been talking to him for a while so its not someone i just met…. goes to show that people can and will surprise you

  359. AtlNicole*389079* says:

    NYC – I agree with you completely. I have been there too. I decided to be equally immature and blow up his phone with insulting/annoying texts until he got the message. Looking back I was so nieve. Didn’t work out so well, but it made me feel better at least. At least it taught me not to give out my phone number like candy.

  360. OMG you are jelousy of me? why. first of all I have never ever said anything nasty or crude! I do not attack new people and I do not bring anybody down. and if he was a pot you should have put your miles of charm on him. you started acting funny back in august you were a Really nice and plesent personality on here! you really rubbed me the wrong way about the neighborhood comment. I didnt Change this blog I have added to it! I dont propose you go sit on a step some where I propose you stop being a Recluse with these mean comments !! thats it!
    if things are not going well on the home front I am sorry! honest for real I had fell out with my mom a few years ago too! but its a evolving relationship!mother daughter. but I am alllllll the way in florida I couldnt Cause you pain from over here! in Florida

  361. NYC SB says:

    AtlNicole – of course… i am not bothered either way… i think its funny how a 35 year old man has time for childish emails and texts thats all

  362. lisa says:

    AtlNicole I also splurged on a new flat screen tv a couple months ago with my allowance.

  363. AtlNicole*389079* says:

    Hello Sugars. Hope everyone had a fun, sugar-filled weekend. I went out and splurged on a new TV with part of my allowance. Now it is time to put my nose back into these books…urgh, this semister may kill me yet.

    NYC- At least your story has a silver lining. If this guy had not been such a jerk, you may have never gone into that bar.

    NC Gent- That is the funniest thing I have read on this blog in a while. I have seen quite a few women on here looking for a No Sex at All kind of arrangement. I guess that acronym sort of makes sense.

  364. neither do offensive negitive people!! hey lisa hows it going down there in Texas

  365. Koi says:

    Ha, I just told my sister the NSA story and we both had a good laugh!

    Though when I asked her, “You know what NSA means, right?”

    She responded, “National Security Agency?”

  366. lisa says:

    Offensive religous statements do not belong on the blog

  367. seeking an arrangement the Plutonic Dating site.. the arrangement with god!! the nun/preist spot!! yeah they would kick me out tomorrow!!

  368. NC Gent says:

    I thought it was pretty hysterical too. I can imagine the thoughts that went through her mind when she figured there might actually be sex involved. Evidently, in the future, I need to ask what they mean by the NSA in their profile lol The time wasted was well worth the laugh though :)

  369. NYC SB says:

    NSA – No sex allowed…. thats not what it means????

    Darn it! This is why my loser boy flipped out when I declined sex…

  370. Nc Gent
    that put me on the floor! oh Iam laughing hystericaly! that is so funny.
    she musta miss all the half naked daddies on the front page a week ago

  371. NC Gent says:

    Hello all — spent a long weekend at my lake house :)

    I had been corresponding with a potential SB, but she was shocked to find out that NSA meant “no strings attached” and NOT “no sex at all” — she had thought all the profiles with NSA (as well as her’s) meant the latter :)

  372. Flo Rida says:

    NYC SB – I think all you need is money plus an existing member to support you to join any of the cigar clubs. ATT’s website says you can block txt alerts BUT ‘currently at this time there is no way to block incoming text messages from other wireless numbers’. change your cell number (painful) or yell at him or make peace with him or put up with it – sorry.

    All – I know a white and a half white half asian SD who are in the market BUT current SD (mine) won’t let me introduce them to my friends in case things go wrong and he – I get yelled at. Sad as they are good guys – different but nice. Oh well.

  373. NYC SB says:

    Kit-Kat – this joker is not worth the trouble i dont think… if i ignore him long enough he will get the picture i hope…

  374. Nyc I think you can do through the phone menu some thing like block unknown callers look in the phone settings. I had a motorolla and it was 3yrs ago but I could do it it sent it straight to voice mail

  375. yes sincere
    I was hoping you would post as you are my blog crush!
    in the most respectful way of course!! I always wonder about other cultures I like to read about things like this but it is more meaningful when a real live friend you know can actually tell you for fact!!
    thanks Sincere!

  376. SincereSD says:

    NYC SB says: Does anyone know how to block a number from calling/texting you?
    Both At&t and cingular have call and text blocking; scan their website for information.

    Kit-Kat*367987* says: I dunno are Asian guys just in general very reserved and not apt to seek out a Sugarbaby?
    Kit, I can tell you that there are active asian SD on SA and IRL. Myself and a former SD blogger are both asian and we’re not all that reserved. The practice of keeping a long term SB or Emai is very common in China; in fact there’s a area of Shanghai known as the “Second Wife” district where businessmen keep their SB in a lavish lifestyle with nice condos, cars and the like. I posted a blog about this last year but darned if I can ever find any previous postings.

  377. NYC SB says:

    NeOhio SB – I have ATT do you know how???

  378. NYC SB says:

    Its the Grand Havana Cigar club – members only ultra exclusive

    You can smoke cigars legally in the US… as long as they are not Cuban 😉

  379. NeOhio SB says:

    NYC SB: Yes, you can block…..the way depends on who your cell provider is.

  380. Flo Rida says:

    I’ve been to Havana cigar place – it’s busier than Cigar Inn or Brandy Library but probably as busy as Merchants. I legitimately say that I only smoke cigars in cuba (legally I hasten to add). Also there’s a private member’s place somewhere uptown (i was in a limo) where rich SD’s take their mistresses or SBs because it’s safe – ie they won’t meet anyone they know there – unlike Four Season’s bar.I’d remember it if you said it.

  381. NYC SB says:

    “It kills me because in the real world half of the guys on here would probably not get this much attention! Not trying to be mean but really lol.”

    Yes but a lot of them are so wrapped into the “everyone wants me” and “i can get any girl on here” mentality that clouds their judgement… sure you can “Buy” anyone maybe but at the end of the day a worthy SB will not enter an arrangement bc an SD she doesnt like is giving her a large allowance… just my two cents

  382. NYC SB says:

    Does anyone know how to block a number from calling/texting you? Loser guy keeps on texting and texting and texting and each text ends with “have a good life dont contact me” yet he keeps on texting… I guess he is pissed bc I wouldnt hook up with him and am ignoring him now

  383. Rica#381490# says:

    Thanks ladies for all the comments…I will see if there is a real SD out there…I guess it is a matter of time. I am glad to see that some of you ladies are meeting the good ones. I agree that maybe the lack of SDs out here is the problem. I also agree with the manners part someone earlier posted. If someone writes to you at least reply to say no thanks or something. It kills me because in the real world half of the guys on here would probably not get this much attention! Not trying to be mean but really lol.

  384. NYC SB says:

    The busines venture is in the works… I am doing proposals and SD is going to review them tonight.

    As for juggling SDs – I only have one at this time… and it is relatively new so I am keeping my options open… in case it doesnt work out…

    In any event he knows that I am looking for a significant other and is ok with it… he is also ok with me having another SD as he keeps another SB in Asia …

    Do you go to “hotel” bars like Gansevoort, Hudson, Soho Grand or to cigar bars like Merchants, Brandy Library, Cigar Bar or regular bars? – I love the Gansevoort … not a big SD scene there though… MOBar is great… as is Hudson and Soho… My fave cigar bar is Grand Havana Room – a friend of mine is a waitress there so I get to go when she works 😉

  385. NeOhio SB says:

    NYC SB: Congrats on your new venture..from reading your post about the other pot SD, he sounds exactly like one that i thought was a keeper, but NOT> Great Cali west coast guy that migrated to NY and Pittsburgh..spent tons of time in NY…and i met him there a few times….and boom..same scenario……..as you.
    Amazing these SD’s….for the life of me…can’t figure out what has happened to them…..Had an incredible SD last year from this site until he relocated to Paris….and will never ever ever find one as generous, caring, giving as he was……….Its harder than finding a needle in a haystack these days……………Good luck with your newbie one.

  386. VillaCypris *276489* says:

    I remember La Bibliotech! I also liked Campania, down by piper glen. Rarely did I get uptown…. it’s a great city, really. Good memories. :)

    Can’t beat NYC though!

  387. Flo Rida says:

    VillaC – Yes i went to Village Tavern and liked it, but for some reason I always got lost going there, I was directionally challenged then, probably still am, that’s why I like NY I either have a chaffeur or just get into a cab. My family always went to Manzetti’s for Sunday brunch, Noble and Bistro 100 (BofA land) are probably my favs now, but I used to like La Bibliotech (but I think it’s closed now), I also went to the bar at Mimosa Grill (I worked in Wachovia land).

    NYC SB – what happened to the business venture? Glad to see you are juggling SDs. I agree that there are certain “in” locations in NY, though these rotate. I remember as a teen (who couldn’t drink) being told that Judsons, Monkey Bar and Bowery Bar were the places to go and it’s all changed. Do you go to “hotel” bars like Gansevoort, Hudson, Soho Grand or to cigar bars like Merchants, Brandy Library, Cigar Bar or regular bars?

    Kit-Kat – I agree with your email, some people will not change.

  388. MarieSB says:

    Do any of you do non-cash arrangements such a direct bill pay or gift certificate options? Is this looked at by SD’s as more time consuming and unfavorable as cash is just easier?

    *** I will only do cash because it is much easier

    On average, do most sugar relationships last only 3 months?

    *** I’ve had a relationship that last a good amount of time. I think it just depends on each person

    Should you only date one sugar at a time, is this something that is usually discused with a sugar or only if asked?”

    *** I think if you want to date more then one and the people your involved with are ok with it then do it!

  389. I am going to times square Chris cumo!! lol not that I have a chance!! but it be nice to drool!!

  390. Nyc Way to go Girl!!
    and Rica yes there is a Few other sites I would ask you to e-mail me
    keya 703 at yahhh
    further more it is a vast upsided-ness to this site a very very small precent of minorty men are on her but look at it this way
    not too many black men are Diamond member status to begin with and the Rest that Could wrap their mind around a SD relationship, they do not think of it in these terms. and they are on diffrent sites,and not Disclosing their incomes! no sabes porque!
    the nice latino men no se’ onde estamos! ok??
    there are a few asian guys on here and I have to say Very very nice looking ones too I thought one of the SD’s was a model he was so handsome! I dunno are Asian guys just in general very reserved and not apt to seek out a Sugarbaby?

    I hope a certain SD will comment on this if he is viewing this blog!

    It would be nice if there could be something Done about Attracting the Right caliber of men to this site that are of diffrent Ethnicitys, not that it matters to me but it would be nice to see a broad swath of choices.

    Stephan What are the Ratios here anyway? Sb/SD?

  391. VillaCypris *276489* says:

    That would be dangerous…. three brilliant sexy girls on the loose… we could be the “SA ANGELS” !!!! 😀

  392. NYC SB says:

    Lol come one come all… we can go hunting together 😀

  393. Sweety SB~ AKA BG says:

    VC< NYC SB~ Yeah, I think I need to move there too!!! 😉

  394. VillaCypris *276489* says:

    NYC SB —- I think I need to move to NYC. 😉

  395. NYC SB says:

    RealisticSD says: I’m amazed you ran into an SA SD IRL!

    This is not my first time 😉 I tend to hang out at places where SDs would go… not for any other reason other than the fact that pricy locales make better dirty martinis 😀

  396. RealisticSD says:

    As for the race issue, it appears to me that the racial distribution of SBs somewhat follows the racial distribution of the population at large. People often have strong racial preferences in regular dating, and I can imagine that it carries over into sugar-dating. As for myself, I have dated people of various races so race is not a big factor for me. Even though IRL, white girls were a minority of those I dated, the SBs I have met have been mostly white.

  397. VillaCypris *276489* says:

    He’s just trying to get his “hooks” back into you…. as if you care that he “is disgusted but does not hate”. Glad you are ignoring him.

    I echo what NYC SB says, Rica. I think the issue is the lack of “genuine” SDs on this site, who truly understand the concept, are not trying to play games, more than the ethnic background of the SBs.

    From what the SDs post on here, they have the same trouble finding “genuine” SBs…..

  398. RealisticSD says:

    NYC SB, what a wierdo. I’m glad you left him. Just ignore his texts. I’m amazed you ran into an SA SD IRL!

  399. NYC SB says:

    Rica – I am a white female and finding an SD is hard… Lemme rephrase I am the cliche of what an SB looks like (no im not conceited) white, young, skinny but have curves where it matters… Therefore leading me to believe that its not really the ethnic background… There is a lack of SDs in general… well lack of real SDs … dont give up on your search… good things do come to those who wait

  400. NYC SB says:

    I just got an email from the guy that “dumped me” on Friday night… “I just wanted to tell you that I dont hate you and good luck with yourself. Im disgusted, but I dont hate. Take care”

    He is disgusted with me for not taking him home with me??? For looking for an SD??? I mean he was on the site too

    He has been emailing me every day since Friday with a similar message… I refuse to reply…

  401. VillaCypris *276489* says:

    That’s great!!!!!! See…. everything “happens for a reason”…. 😀

    hope you have a fabulous dinner at Per Se!!!

  402. NYC SB says:

    I went out with a pot on friday night… We have been talking and it became clear that he is more into a gf than an sb… sure fine Im open to that as I already have an sd… so this is why I continued seeing him… this was my 3rd time seeing the guy… always a very short dinner/drinks kind of meetings… at dinner he began questioning me when i would invite him to my apartment … i told him not yet as i am not comfortable with that… at this point he asked me how long it took my last sd to get invited back to my place… I was very angry at this questioning and told him straight up and A) my last SD has NEVER been at my place and B) since him and I are pursuing a traditional relationship the rules are much different than an SD SB relationship… he became infuriated with this because “we have been talking for a month its time” … I told him to have a nice life and walked out

    I was so upset I went to another bar for a drink before heading home… and ended up meeting a very nice man… we talked for couple of hours and then he said to me “NYC SB I have never been impressed with a girl before. I would love to see you again. You are so spoilworthy.” DING DING DING this sounds like an SD… kinda taken back as he is my age I jokingly said “What are you a sugar daddy?” he blushed and said “Never done it before but I recently came into money and would love nothing more but to find a girl worth of spoiling. I joined SA 2 months ago.”

    BINGO! We made plans to see each other this week 😉

    Tonight Im meeting my SD for a lovely meal at Per Se… super excited!!!!!

  403. Sweety SB~ AKA BG says:

    VC~ awesome, I can’t wait to hear about it! i’m off to do some shopping talk to you all soon!!!

  404. VillaCypris *276489* says:

    Hi BG!

    Yes! I’ll email you about the detox fitness workshop yesterday. Was phenomenal. :)

  405. VillaCypris *276489* says:

    Rica – sorry to hear that….. I don’t know what else to say other than try not to get discouraged and/or frustrated…. it takes a LONG time to find someone with whom you connect, both on this site, and in real life.

    As difficult as it is sometimes, try to stay positive. Perhaps it would help you to sit down and write out exactly what qualities you are searching for in an SD. That might help you regain focus and you can re-start your search anew.

  406. Sweety SB~ AKA BG says:

    I’m Good Kit Kat!

    Rica~ I know it’s hard to find the perfect match! But it will come. I am Caucasian, and it’s as hard for me! I have sent out a tone of mail, and have only gotten a couple of responses… I only met 2 SDs from this site, and it was not a good match! For me, it’s my location…. hummm I think!

    NYC SB~ We need to know!!! you leave us hanging like that …. lol now I can’t wait to read what happened!

    OC~ how did your date go? I didn’t read anything,,, I’m curious!

    VC~ hope you had a great weekend?

  407. VillaCypris *276489* says:

    NYC SB…. SUCH a tease…. 😉

  408. NYC SB says:

    WHOA Blog activity… I cant even catch up!

    I have many exciting updates… but now off to a meeting 😀

  409. Rica says:

    Morning all….I am starting to feel like I may not find an SD on this site anymore. I have send out many messages, and I have also received some return emails. I only found one guy who I have found as a possibility still. I don’t know if maybe there is a site geared towards men seeking women of other ethnic backgrounds?? I know I have read some of the posts and have seen some of you share my feelings. I am open to many ethnic and racial backgrounds, but I do not see the same in many of the SDs on here.

  410. VillaCypris *276489* says:

    Good morning everyone! Hope you all had a nice weekend :)

    Flo Rida – movies at Philips Place and PF Changs… yeah, definitely we could’ve been friends! Did you ever go to the Village Tavern @ the Rotunda Building?

  411. Gemini29 says:

    Morning all! I had an amazing sugar dream….it was like I found the perfect SD…young, cute, rich and he had a boat! lololol

  412. hey miz did you have a good birthday?

  413. hey sweety morning my friend

  414. Miz_Red says:

    “Do any of you do non-cash arrangements such a direct bill pay or gift certificate options? Is this looked at by SD’s as more time consuming and unfavorable as cash is just easier?”

    — As a SB, I WOULD like a direct bill pay or a gift certificate bc its a nice gift to me and 1 less thing I have to worry about [as far as a bill] & if its a gift card for a salon or Target or a boutique I don’t have to worry about wanting/needing something from a particular place & not having the cash. & a gift card comes as a sweet gift =) BUT…having cash or a pre-paid debit card is easier bc u are free to use what u need, where & when u need it.

    “On average, do most sugar relationships last only 3 months?”

    — No! I don’t think so! Lol. The longest I had a SD was for almost 2yrs. & the shortest was about 7mos.

    “Should you only date one sugar at a time, is this something that is usually discused with a sugar or only if asked?”

    — The only part of this I can answer, is I feel its okay to date more than one SD at a time. Isn’t it okay to go out on conventional dates with more than one guy? Just be honest and open in a respectful manor.

  415. Sweety SB~ AKA BG says:

    DC~ Hey girl, how you been?

    Erin~ Welcome! Ireland..I love the Irish Accent, make me weak! 😉
    I’m sure you will find someone, there are plenty of SDs in Europe!

    Jayde~ I am sorry too for your financial problems, but as Realistic :”you need physical, emotional, and intellectual chemistry and compatibility. But you also need geographic compatibility, a workable schedule for meeting, and a similar view of an SD/SB relationship.”

    Hope you all had a great weekend!
    Talk all soon sugars!

  416. DC says:

    Great advice Realistic SD!

  417. DC says:

    Thanks Kit Kat. And very well said Flo-Rida.

    I think the majority of us here have lives/jobs outside of sugar-land. I myself have been unemployed since December 2008, struggling to make ends meet. I heard about this site and thought what the hell. But it took me a few months to find a suitable SD and I told myself that even though these were desperate times, that I would not date anyone through this site that I would not date if they were not offering assistance. I turned down a couple of offers because the men were just jerks, full of themselves and probably would have asked me to do things I was not comfortable doing. I found other means of support…family, friends, part time jobs to support myself while I searched.

    As for whether or not they care Jayde- well look at it from their perspective. They are having just as much trouble meeting a suitable SB I am sure and they don’t know you at all. Dating in the real world is hard enough…many flakes and people who treat others in the cyberworld as if there is not a real person behind the profile. Why should this be any different considering the stakes.

  418. RealisticSD says:

    Jayde, this is a complex relationship and requires numerous points of compatibility for it to work. Just like ub a regular relationship, you need physical, emotional, and intellectual chemistry and compatibility. But you also need geographic compatibility, a workable schedule for meeting, and a similar view of an SD/SB relationship. This is rare enough to come by. But you have to add to that the fact that only a small percentage of men can afford an SB and an even smaller number who are willing to generously provide for one when it comes down to that.

    I think sugar-dating is easier for the SD who has money just because the numbers are stacked in his favor, but believe me it’s not that easy finding the right SB either.

    As for being in a financial shitstorm, I am really sorry to hear about it, but you have to very careful how you approach an SD in that situation. You don’t want to appear as though you are desparate for immediate assistance, because it gives off the impression that you only want him for money and would do anything with anyone to get it. And that is a huge turn-off. Yet, the damsel-in-distress is super-appealing. I know there is a fine line between the two, but I think the best is to be able to say that making ends meet has been very hard despite your best efforts while not appearing desparate for immediate financial relief, AND expressing genuine interest in him as a person, not just as a source of cash. Once you have the guy hooked and you gain his trust that it’s not just a parasitic relationship, then he should be willing to help out with everything. And if it’s a real SD, it won’t take him long to pitch in generously.

  419. Flo Rida says:

    RainyStreet and Jayde5502 – sorry but it does take some time, let’s say a SB wants $4,000 per month (hypothetically) which is $48,000 per year is $75,000 of annual pre-tax income (35% effective tax rate), let’s say a household of this level needs $75,000 of pre-tax income to pay for mortgage, utilities, healthcare, schooling, entertainment etc that means a SD needs to make $150,000 pre-tax. US Census Bureau stats from 2005 show that only the top 10% of income earners make this much and they are concentrated in LA, NY. This demographic wants looks, youth, personality, intelligence and a SB who is geographically and time convenient.

    Of course you can vary your allowance, gift requirements. Much as I’d like to I can’t waive a magic wand. I don’t mean to be harsh, I’ll happily help in terms of “marketing” but be brave and mentally tough (I know it’s difficult).

    Kit-Kat – you have mail. I’m leaving on a road-trip though and will only check email fleetingly.

  420. Erin says:

    Hey Everyone!!

    Im a complete newbie only joined a few days ago and have spent most of that looking through all the posts so thought id say hi.
    Im actually from Ireland so i dont know if theres many SB there. Iv received a few msgs from SDs in the UK which is only a 40min flight so even though i havnt heard anything from anyone in Ireland im finding it fun so far.

    Love this blog as i havnt told a soul!
    Erin

  421. DC I must say I hope they put that on as words to live by very well said. I often am upset by hearing our blog sisters be in such dire straights. and it is true some will find a mate instantly and that is great for them, there are others that find Mr. Creepy point is the Sb/SD thing takes time and even at that point it is still a new relationship, they say it takes 90 days before you know a persons temperment, I assume that 90 days is a 24-7 type situation so on 2160 hours how much time will you REALLY to spend with that sugar daddy?
    Being in Dire straight’s is stressful indeed, dont let it make a descision for you, Do not let on this is your particular case, there are Fakedaddys just looking for a vuernable target to test drive!

  422. RainyStreet says:

    Jayde I’m in the same situation :(

  423. texaSD says:

    same thing with a SB

  424. DC says:

    Jayde-

    -Does it usually take this long?

    …yes, it can take months to over a year to find the right SD. Of course it depends on your marketability. Someones looks and age obviously determine that at least initially. I have gone for weeks without a single e-mail and then I will get 3 at once. Out of the 3 I figure I am lucky if I even want to meet one of them and then who knows if there will be compatibility in person. And I try not to ever let my difficult financial situation cloud my judgment.

    -How do you guys keep being optimistic despite a financial shitstorm?

    ….sorry to hear about your difficulties but what would you have done before you found out about this site? My point is that many come to this site in dire need of assistance and expect immediate results. It just doesn’t work that way. Remember the ratio of SBs to SDs is at least 10 to 1. Most of us who have been here a while have learned that we need to focus on our lives outside of SD-land. Finding an SD that you like and have chemistry with and who is willing to give you support is a blessing but it doesn’t come easy.

  425. texaSD says:

    are you a SB?

  426. Jayde5502 says:

    Hey everyone,

    This is my first post. I am feeling so frustrated and discouraged from my search. I have been searching for 2 months now. I found one but the chemistry wasn’t there. That arrangement lasted about a month.

    Since then I’ve been burned twice and am beginning to suffer emotionally…I’m now at a point where everything is crashing down on me and I fall into the “immediate assistance needed” bin of sb’s. I don’t understand….

    -Does it usually take this long?
    -How do you guys keep being optimistic despite a financial shitstorm?

    I’m in a lot of trouble right now and becoming cynical thinking about how I need help and these guys who claim they care–don’t.

  427. Clarfication to my last post whoa its not nude or anything! man I gotta go to sleep. I do not recommend really provocative stuff you just dont know where you will be in 20yrs, Pictures hang in Electronica for forever!

  428. Koi says:

    Thanks and goodnight!

  429. Koi
    maybe once you get to the stage where you want them to be sure your body type is what they are looking for I send a full body once I feel like my standards are met . and thats once we take it to Secondary E-mail phase its not posted of course but thats me!
    lady I am going to bed tomorrow peoples!

  430. Koi says:

    Opinions when it comes to photos:

    Are swimsuit shots appropriate?

  431. gaurdasil is not Reccomend if you are I think it says 26 and over or already had a child. and the vaccinne isnt faring to well as far as with the allergic reactions! and hpv has several Strains many of which Gaurdasil dosent prevent against anyway. Tomorrow I will have some firm info on this topic seeing as I like to site what I am talking about*not that anybody else isnt!*
    I am always open to discuss with my healthcare provider my reproductive health and overall well being.

    an SD recommending I get vaccinated ,sterlized or anything else regaurding my Reproductive parts would really make me ponder prusing the relationship further

  432. RealisticSD says:

    Well, Nicki, if we ever were to go out, I am sure I’d pick up on your reservations and you’d be in the group that I’d totally behave with. With my current SB, I was totally behaved on the first date. The best things come to people who wait :)

  433. Nicki says:

    KitKat,

    That’s funny, maybe we should try that! “Since you miss me so much, I will pack up and move in with you tomorrow.” That would be the last time we exchange texts! Lol. Brilliant!

    Also, I’m with you on the sleepover thing, but it’s so hard to tell an SD that you don’t ever want to spend the night – at least not in the first few weeks… I struggle with telling them that. BTW, I’m yet to be in an arrangement from this site, and with my two past SDs I moved in, but that was such a different story, I really fell for both of them. Anyway, now I use my dog as an excuse. I tell them upfront: I got a dog, so I won’t ever be spending the night – later that can change, but for now that’s how I feel.

    I will email you.

    RealisticSD,

    To me any “groping” or touching is unwanted on a first date. I might hug someone to say bye, but handholding, touching my thighs or anything else shoots the guy right on top of my blacklist! That just shows a complete lack of self-control, and I’m afraid of the possibility of being alone in a room with someone like that. Of course, it’s a also a cultural thing – some countries do more touching, so I can take that into account, but generally I dislike it a lot.

  434. SugaCaneBby says:

    That’s right, RealisticSD. The women you yourself select to date speak for the entirety of the female population. 😉

  435. RealisticSD says:

    Koi asked, “How do you bring up the allowance. Or men, how do you like it to be brought up?” If I am interested, I am the one who brings it up and typically at the first meeting. I initially leave an opening for her to see if she has something in mind, and typically they don’t have any clue what to ask for or how to ask for it or they are uneasy about the subject, so then I tell them what I envision and they agree. The ones that last longer than a few dates, I will ask periodically if they need anything and give them the chance to ask for more if things are going well.

    Flo Rida, if it gets to having sex IRL and I don’t know the girl well enough to have a good sense of her sexual history and risk for STDs, I would bring up getting tested. Also remember that if someone has donated blood recently, it serves as proof that they don’t have blood-borne diseases (i.e. HIV and hepatitis C), which are the worst ones to get (that’s assuming that hepatitis C is actually sexually transmitted). Being married makes the STD issue more complex as well. If I get gonorrhea, a single dose of antibiotics would cure it, but if my wife gets it, there is no medicine for my problem then. BTW, have SBs had the cervical cancer vaccine Guardasil? It is something like 90% effective against genital warts and preventing cervical cancer. And SDs, I’d consider it too, as it prevents genital warts and penile cancer, and all these are sexually-transmitted by the HPV virus.

    Gemini29, you’re right. If I really really like a girl, I may not make out on the first date at all if I think there is any risk of offending her. But to be honest, based on my own experience, women are not offended by physical displays of attraction/affection despite what is said on this blog. Now in terms of sex, I tend to take things rather slow, perhaps even slower than most, because I am afraid of pregnancy and STDs and because I want a stable relationship before having sex with someone.

  436. Nikki would you E-mail me please missy! Keya 703 at yahhhhh

  437. Gemi I dont know where you live at but check at a postal center….. like a mom and pop postal center Fex ex is high and brown is too, keep checking good luck and I certanily missed you!

  438. Gemini29 says:

    Sorry I’m not so talkative tonight (or this past weekend)….just dead tired. I think tomorrow I’ll have more time to be on the blog and respond to emails and such.

    Over the weekend I did have the opportunity to check out a private postal box at my local UPS store. …yowza! $45 for 3 months, $90 for 6 months, and $180 for a year! YIKES!!! I want to be protecting my privacy but that is pricey!!

    As for groping— yeah no. I’m sick of guys assuming that because they take me out for a dinner that they then are allowed to feel me up in the parking lot afterward (this goes for regular dating and sugar dating). Gentleman, gentleman…discretion and keeping your hands to yourself will get you further in the end!!

    Ok thats it from me girls (and guys), I’m off to bed! Sweet sugar dreams (and realities) for all!

  439. well citrus I dont know what to say about that!

  440. Citrus says:

    thanks for your imputs ladies and gents. You all have a nice night.

  441. Citrus says:

    I think it was the idea of asking him for proof that got that reaction out of him. This is someone who wanted to spend the night with me on our second date so..and yes, I have already established that this is not a healthy arrangement. But it’s temporary, so..

  442. Flo I will talk at you tomorrow heres my e-mail drop me a line b 4 you go Keya 703 at yahhh ok?

  443. Citrus ok a doctor he should be more apt to do that, I mean after all he is entering into a relationship with you and he you, I feel like Get that out the way.

  444. Flo Rida says:

    Kit-Kat – ran a lot of errands, handwashed some stuff I don’t trust the dry cleaners with, got a massage did some yoga followed by light workout. Grabbed a bite, watched end of the Steelers game – now prepping for bed – 6am start tomorrow. What did you do? Hope you had a fabulous day and chat with you during the week. Cheerio

  445. Citrus
    I dont check on them much lots of Weird mail I need not see malepart photos I seen one in health class in highschool!

  446. Koi says:

    Hi Flo! I understand! Just open to any new ideas =)

  447. Citrus says:

    I have registered at other sites, but I don’t really visit them as much as I do SA.

  448. Flo Rida says:

    Koi – the allowance topic has been discussed before, skim the archives. General consensus is he will get horny & when he does you politely mention allowance. Past posts also debate how best to raise. There’s a lot of stuff that can’t be easily summarized – sorry if you feel this is rude i’m not trying to be.

    RealisticSD – strange but if you met a girl in a bar or IRL would you ask for a test, same question applies for ladies? I’ll get some heat for this but I treated my SD the same way as I would a ‘boyfriend’, precautions yes – do people think this is wrong?

    Alright i’m really going to bed now – early start.

  449. Flo!! hey!! where ya at girl..

    Koi I have another site but they have pottymouths over there but there are som potty mouths over here too

  450. Citrus says:

    Kit-Kat, he’s a doctor and I guess he thought he shouldn’t have to give me proof of his tests/vaccinations. I would think that would be more reason to do so..

  451. Koi says:

    Have you all used other sites before? Is this the best one in your opinions? Thanks!

  452. citrus
    if you have yours why not? he should have his papers up ready for presentation! I mean you not giving your life.. or Quality of life either!

  453. all Kit kat got is band aids and peroxiode!! be nice

  454. Citrus says:

    RealisticSD sounds like you’re a healthcare provider or someone who just really know their diseases, lol. that sounds pretty reasonable, this dude was acting like I asked if I could shoot his mother when I asked for some proof. Thanks for the imput. This whole thing is a little tricky and losers abound.

  455. lisa making jokes again… you get a point for timing!!

  456. lisa says:

    Allowance? Just threaten to pepper spray them or knee their groin if they don’t hand over the money.

  457. Flo Rida says:

    Nico – wise words. I’ve taken boxing & taekwondo (spelling). but my basic instinct is to run. When you punch rotate your fist making it harder to grab, sideswipe to the foot or roundhouse kick to knee, if he parries or blocks then he really knows what he’s doing & i’m in trouble, last resort headbut to the bridge of nose. I agree with your comment on a self defense course.

  458. Koi says:

    Hi Kit Kat~

    Yes, I like to see what’s going on in the world from time to time. =)

    Okay, so ladies and gentlemen. How do you bring up the allowance. Or men, how do you like it to be brought up?

  459. Nico says:

    Flo Rida and all other ladies of the blog. If physical safety is a concern might I recommend taking a local women’s self defense course. While you may never need what you’re taught, it will give you additional confidence making you less of a victim. Coming from somebody that is certified to teach women’s self defense, a man is more likely to protect some type of strike to his face or groin area….this is almost instinctual. Learning to avoid putting yourself in a compromised situation and/or learning ways to escape a volitile situation will seve you better than an attempt at a man’s adams apple.

    Not any type of personal attack, only hoping to help open some eyes :)

  460. Flo Rida says:

    Kit-Kat – tx 4 support (in more ways than 1)

    VillaC – I lived in Charlotte twice, once as a kid in 1998 in Alexander Place on Sharon Road near YMCA, it’s around the corner from Phillips Place & again in 2005 on my own. I used to watch movies in Philips Place & eat at PF Changs. Wierd eh – we could have been friends.

    In terms of groping ewwww but it does happen.

    Someone mentioned pepper spray, I don’t carry because of the large bag issue (but don’t let that stop you) but I’m confident I can do damage to a man’s adam’s apple or if I have space hurt his knee (generally men look up not down). As someone else mentioned check a guy out & get allowance first (before it get’s intimate but maybe after a meet). Finally as an army person said to me ‘if you risk nothing you get nothing’.

    Nitey night all.

  461. Koi you a news junkie like me??

  462. Koi says:

    Off topic- What channel is MSNBC?

  463. RealisticSD says:

    Koi, I agree, if things are awkward, it’s better to just part ways and at most give a polite distant good-bye hug. I am not an awkward date per se, which may be why my perspective is skewed. I talk well and amply, yet I can enjoy a silent moment without feeling awkward. I can engage people and make them feel comfortable, and I give off honest vibes mostly because I am honest (OK, except with my wife). Since I don’t have any bad intentions, I can be totally honest with people and it seems to be very much appreciated in sugar-dating.

  464. hey Gemi whats happining over your way?

  465. Gemini29 says:

    Hey Sugars! Back from a long weekend…not much accomplished but I feel beat all the same! Crazy that.

    “Do any of you do non-cash arrangements such a direct bill pay or gift certificate options? Is this looked at by SD’s as more time consuming and unfavorable as cash is just easier?”

    -Direct Bill pay would be a no-go for me…I’m not comfortable giving some random person (sorry but that is what it is) access to my accounts. Besides, then you have to sit around hoping they actually follow through…and if the person doesn’t follow through, it is your payments and credit score that suffers. I would much rather have the cash on hand (or in my bank acct/paypal acct) and pay my bills myself. Gift cards sound nice…as a supplement to my allowance. Otherwise…gift cards do not pay the rent, utilities and grocery bills. But you know… if a super generous daddy wanted to hand over a Visa Black for me to use….that could work out too!!

    On average, do most sugar relationships last only 3 months?
    -God I hope so. I’m not interested in a long term thing right now, 3-6 months would be optimum for me.

  466. SugaCaneBby says:

    Aye, I agree Kit-Kat. I’m just saying, if a girl wants you to do certain things or is ok with certain forms or touching, she indicates beforehand. No indication = play nice, Billy.

  467. They should have a blog topic on missed cues/misreadcues on a Sugar date

  468. I cannot bail anybody out now take it easy!!

  469. I had been talking to this pot and everything was going fine until he brought up the arrangement, he was like I will give you what ever you want while you live with me… I was like umm I have my own place thanks, so I figured he got the hint that iam not 15 and dont do the sleep over thing, and guess what hes on my im saying hello…
    comon Whats really going on?

  470. Koi says:

    Hi Realistic,

    I think it varies from person to person and the situation. If you’ve spent a lovely dinner together and felt that chemistry, then a kiss makes sense. However, if you just met and there was awkwardness during the meal or it just didn’t feel right, and he still goes in for the kill. That would be bad. I had that happen once. The date didn’t go smoothly, but he still tried to come at me with his mouth open, I turned in time, but he still managed to lick my cheek! Eww.

    Ha.

  471. SugaCaneBby says:

    Then these women WELCOMED you in and gave you some kind of indication that they would be ok with it, RealisticSD. However, I myself, I do not conduct myself in a come hither-way with absolute strangers and the point is that if at any point during date a Pot SD grabs any part of my personal anatomy, I’m going to send him home with a black eye.

    That’s real.

  472. RealisticSD says:

    OK, in my moderate sugar-dating experience, 20-25% of women turn out unattractive to me (i.e. they don’t match their pictures), and therefore I don’t make out with them at all and don’t see them a second time. Of the remaining 75-80%, I have made out with about 60% on the first date. As for the ones I have not made out with, it was generally because I did not want to give off the wrong vibes, but in that case, I made out with them on the second date in every case I decided to ask them out again. That means that I made out with 100% of SBs who made it to the second sugar-date. I don’t think any of it was inappropriate and no one ever showed any signs that it was unwanted or inappropriate.

  473. Koi
    I think I am with you on the touching post , just give it a min.

  474. hey you guys hope all is well let me go catch up on the here blog!

  475. Koi says:

    Hi SugaCaneBby!

    I agree with you. There are some men that try to jump right in with the excessive touching and closeness. That is something that should develop naturally and not be forced. (Unless that was the arrangement.)

  476. SugaCaneBby says:

    Why must a woman actively show “disinterest” to get the message across that she does not wish to be prodded like a cut of meat? Whatever happened to being a gentleman and keeping your hands to yourself?

  477. SugaCaneBby says:

    Groping is a term usually used for hand-body contact that is unwanted. O_o I have no idea what you’re asking, RealisticSD but I suppose being as you’re not a woman, you’ve never dealt with a man grazing against your chest or butt with his hands or other body parts purposefully. Just because they do it doesn’t mean it’s invited.

  478. KittyBabe says:

    I completly understand what you are saying about trust but that doesnt come on the first or second date.take your time. When it’s right and you don’t feel like he’s a stranger anyomre you can welcome him to your home, just fallow your instinct! but remember realisticSD not all SD are trustworthy

  479. RealisticSD says:

    Citrus asked, “How do you go about making sure that your SD is disease free?” I have brought this topic up several times. I think it should be standard practice for people to both get tested and show the other the test results. That means HIV, hepatitis B (if not vaccinated) and C, a pap smear/pelvic exam for women, and a genital exam with a penile swab for gonorrhea/chlamydia in men. The issue of herpes virus type 2 testing is more complex, because if someone has the antibodies, it doesn’t mean they’re contagious. Condoms will not give much protection against genital warts, pubic lice, molluscum contagiosum, and herpes.

    That having been said, no one seems interested in getting tested. I brought it up with one SB and she was completely silent–no response at all. In retrospect she may have taken my statement to have indicated I wanted to have unprotected intercourse, which I am not foolish enough to do. Another SB told me that she was tested recently, but am I to just take her word for it? And remember, HIV takes up to six months to show up on a blood test.

    Koi, in terms of when ladies let a guy know where they live, it depends on the SB. One SB let me know where she lives after the first date and welcomed me to her place, which I took as a very nice personal gesture, and others never let me know despite numerous dates and would never let me pick them up, which I took as a sign of distance and lack of trust. Since I want the SB to be a friend, not knowing where they live will not work for me in the long run. Seriously, if they can’t trust me, I’d rather not be with them. I should say that I am a professional who is easy to look up and I don’t give off any wierdo vibes, so my situation can’t necessarily be generalized to all men.

    As for the “unwanted groping” comments, I take it that if someone doesn’t show any disinterest in the physical affection, it is wanted. Is that inaccurate with respect to sugar dating? I sometimes wonder.

  480. Koi says:

    Sounds good, Kitty! I’ll meet him at the lunch spot =)

  481. KittyBabe says:

    Koi, tell him you have to do some stuff before you meet so that way you can meet him at the place ( w/ your car )and leave if necessary…

  482. Koi says:

    Hi Everyone!

    Citrus, on STD’s, I say you both get tested together! It’s the safest smartest way to go. If he doesn’t want to, he doesn’t care enough. (Imo). Even if he said he just got tested a few months ago, they may have slept with someone since then who wasn’t disease free.

    And update! I just got off the phone with my date from last night. He’s coming in this weekend to have lunch and hang out with me. He wants to pick me up… Ladies, when do you usually let people know where you live?

  483. KittyBabe says:

    HeLLO SUgars!
    it took me like an hour to catch up since last night! lol
    SOO ok safety talking= RealisticSD it’s true that eventually “at the end the guy gets the girl alone” and you did scare me with the serial killer thing BTW but, if you get paranoid ( like I do sometimes) there’s two words for that PEPPER SPRAY! ladys keep it on your purse! I know that might mean bringing a slightly bigger clutch! but hey, safty first…. =)
    Koi = congrats on the date! OC = thank’s on the tips! always fun to read.
    On the gift’s I agree, it’s always better to do something creative like cooking or massages, I would also (if it’s a bday gift) bring out a cupcake with a candle on it, something small but cute and tasty, (and you can play w/ the frosting afterwords…did I say too much? ahhh) anything with a personal touch will do… the SD is gonna appreciate that way more than just a gift.

  484. thanks villa I thought I was seeing things!
    whats the deal the couple then just him confusing!

  485. VillaCypris *276489* says:

    just stopped in for a second – yeah kit kat – same dude. i saw him sign in once, and it was THREE profiles in row, same photo, different locations.

    flo rida – that’s crazy! where in charlotte? i lived at post park/philips place 1997-1999. southpark, where the dean and deluca was.

  486. Front page the 2&3rd profile is taht the same guy?

  487. Citrus says:

    @ Kit-kat, Right. I’m just wondering if there’s a trick to it that I don’t about yet.

  488. Nikki, Suga
    have you tried the Reverse pscyology *sp*thing ask can you move in with him. that should strike him back to reality!

  489. Suga I have a hard time seeing some man groping on you with out you welcoming it. it might end badly for him.

  490. I have my papers and I seriously wonder whats up if they dont care to know their status. I have 3yrs worth so ther is clear that I dont play about it if SD cant get that taken care of, well I dunno

  491. SugaCaneBby says:

    Thanks for the advice Nicki. 😀 *phew* I’m glad I’m not the only one who has experienced something like this. Fake affections are a no-go with me. The fact that he’s married plays into how much of a turn-off some of his innuendo is as well. It’s like meet me, get to know me, and THEN decide if you’re smitten. I’m far too old to fall for lines that are supposed to make me “melt” and “feel special”. Doesn’t do anything but annoy me.

  492. Citrus says:

    Hello ladies, Citrus here again. While we are on the subject of safety..
    I don’t know if this has been discussed before, but
    how do you go about making sure that your SD is disease free?
    ask for proof? Do you suggest getting tested together? Do you just take their word for it? even SDs that may be messing with several women at a time? I can’t imagine that someone who has HIV or an STD would actually tell you the truth..

  493. Nicki says:

    SugaCaneBBy, I know what you mean. This pot. kept sending me texts about “I miss you.” “I’m thinking of you.” “I wish you were here” – after two dates! What the hell? I just told him I found someone already, because I’m really not comfortable with clingy people or faking affection, and clearly you don’t care that much about someone you met only twice.

    On the other hand, there is this guy, who I doubt is really SD material… He is 32, just started his company… But his text messages always bring a smile to my face. He sends the sweetest things, like when I cancelled a date, he sent me something on the lines of “No problem, you are on my VIP list… But I’m sad I don’t get to see you.” That’s cute, not creepy.

    Anyway, if you are not comfortable with his texting style, try to see if he is better on the phone (you know, older SDs don’t really get text messaging etiquette – no offense!) and if he is, great… if not, I would say forget him, because you don’t need his “groping”! Good luck deciding!

  494. Nicki says:

    SweetySB, it just searches some 40+ social networking websites (like Facebook, Myspace, YouTube, even blogs) and gives you their profiles. Often seeing how they represent themselves there will help you a lot in determining who they really are…

    But as RealisticSD says, if they use a different email just for sugar dating, it’s useless…

    However, what I did recently, I googled the potential (I knew his first name and the name of his company). Google brought up his professional email, which I entered into Spokeo, and I found his blog, and 3 of his professional profiles as well as one personal. On his blog, I found a few topics to talk about with him on our second date… So it was great to research him.

    With another potential, it was even better. I plugged in his email address, Spokeo gave me his real name (he was using a fake one on SA), then I googled him and found out that he lied about his income. He was not the jetsetter businessman he claimed to be. He was a realtor for a company.

    So sometimes this thing works, sometimes doesn’t, but it can’t hurt to try.

  495. good luck Suga I mean he should WANT to hug on ya but I agree he need to turn the Brain mouth monitor back on!

  496. Flo like a 1950’s brizzere girl and I will bring my purse if you need me!! lol
    everybody else got the Cl’s lol

  497. SugaCaneBby says:

    Ok, so this Pot I haven’t really talked to too much at all is throwing me through a loop with his odd affections. Everytime I say I’m doing something, like laying on the couch with my cat or rolling around town, he’s all like “I wish I could be there with you, baby.”

    O_o

    Makes me a tad uncomfortable because he’s coming on too strong with lines like that and gets me thinking he’s got his mindset in the wrong place as to what this is. But maybe I’m just being paranoid. We’re meeting on the 16th and for some reason, I forsee a lot of unwelcome groping. We’ll see.

    I hope everyone is having a sugar-ific day. I’m going to do laundry, give myself the mani and pedi I’ve needed for the past week now, and catch up on some familial relationships. :)

  498. Flo Rida says:

    Kit-Kat – i’m glad to have you as a sugar friend. I know you have my back & i’ll always be supportive.

    VillaC – I lived in Charlotte for a year – wierd huh.

    RealisticSD – Lisa – others – yes, alone time will happen, a girl does need self defense techniques. At a min, run, learn how to break his knee (seriously) punch to the throat – and then run. Also the 15min txt checkin get’s awkward eventually but even if it’s 30-60mins it helps. PS clearly this is last resort stuff. cheerio.

  499. RealisticSD says:

    Nicki, but if they give you a secondary e-mail they set up for SA, then you won’t be able to find anything of substance using your program.

  500. lisa says:

    Back from the market. Almost melted on the walk home.

    I agree that one has to make judgement for being alone the first time. Just because it’s a second meeting, doesn’t make it any more safe. Those out for no good can be very patient. A first meeting should be in public but one must make trust their instincts to when it’s safe to get in the car, or away from the crowd. It’s like walking down the street at night, just because you didn’t get robbed or raped or murdered the first time doesn’t mean it won’t happen the next time.

    Now off to watch a favorite video, Towering Inferno and eat guacamole.

  501. Sweety SB~ AKA BG says:

    Nicki~ I don’t understand the program thing, what does it do? track their incoming mails? or what site they are members of?
    I so want to know more about this!

  502. Nicki says:

    SBs, I recommend using a program that tracks people’s social network activity by their email address. I am using Spokeo, but it’s crap! Don’t waste your money on it, if you need someone’s info, contact me, I will look it up for you for free on that site, since I’m now stuck with a year-long membership. It shows you the profiles established by the person with that email on all social networking sites.

  503. Nicki says:

    RealisticSD that’s my greatest fear! In the back of my mind, I’m always thinking I’m about to meat the next Ted Bundy… SBs (and SDs too!) should take every possible precautionary step!!! It’s kind of hard, though, when you can’t tell your friends or family who you are going to see… So I always tell them it’s a date with someone I met on Match.com and have my girlfriends check in with me… I also make sure I know their full name and address before the third date (you know, by then their serial killer instinct should kick in… Lol.) Better safe than sorry!

  504. Nicki says:

    Hey Sugars,

    I just went through the last three posts – I missed a lot! School is back in session, so I didn’t have any “sugar time…” But I will try to keep an eye on here because I LOVE IT! :)

    My new profile is not getting any response… :( I think it’s too wordy… Also, I am being very specific about what I need from an SD, while before I kinda left it open… So I’m starting to think that maybe I need to be more gentle in bringing up what I need? Hm.

    Q: How can I find a SD by profile #? I tried to preview my profile and substitute their #, but that did not work. Does anyone know?

  505. RealisticSD says:

    Florida says, “no alone time, car time, walk alone time” on the first meet. I agree in some ways, but in all honesty, you meet a guy the first time and he seems OK. Then the next time or the time after you’d be alone with him and you still don’t really know him. Many serial killers appear totally normal and like to know their victims, so they’d gladly tread slowly at first. Not trying to scare anyone, but at the end the guy gets the girl alone.

    I personally like to meet SBs in public places the first time. But once I was so tired I told an SB that I just don’t feel like going out that night and so she met me at home. Not the smartest thing for either of us, but it was fine. Based on people’s experiences on this blog, I’d have to recommend against it though.

  506. ok so I lied NASCAR IS on bye yall!!

  507. by yall Have a good day as well I am off to the park to play on the swings!! lol

  508. EastCoastFilly says:

    Just wanted to say thanks everyone for the tips and welcoming me :)
    Have a great day!

  509. VillaCypris *276489* says:

    WOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Touchdown VIKINGS!!!!!!!!! (sorry OC :p)

    i’m heading out for the day. bye all! have a great sunday!!!

  510. Flo I like that tip on let him talk that is GOOOOOOD yall know me and my exzuberance I have to put a mute button on at times

  511. FLO and you said you were a wall fly girl you know what you are talking about.. I dont wanna hear any more of that doubt my-self talk anymore! way to go on the Advice I hadnt thought of that myself, ya know I do not drink but that goes for any open beveradge*sp*

  512. Villa Lamant told me about formula one racing and yeah that would be great but the accidents really turn my stomach the way those cars crumple its just mind boggling. I got to find a NASCAR daddy
    Thats what I got to do I am just addicted to NASCAR I love it and I shoosh everybody when its on!

  513. Koi says:

    Eastcoastfilly- Like most people have stated, the price of the gift is not what matters. It’s the thought you put into it.

    Just listen to the things he says and you’ll pick up on something. One of the men I used to date never wore cologne, but he said if I got him one, he would wear it to smell like what I liked. On our next trip to Vegas I surprised him with a scent I picked out for him and a little personalized note. He was really happy with it, and said “Aw, you remembered. You’re so sweet.” He wore it every night. =)

  514. Flo Rida says:

    Subette – By all means meet the CL people but remember be safe – a few tips – don’t drink anything unless you know it’s untampered, get a friend or 2 to spy on you – meet in public and always stay in public (no alone time, car time, walk alone time) send a safe txt msg every 15 mins to a friend who knows who you are meeting, where & if you don’t txt friend calls police, learn self-defense techniques. I know i’m paranoid. In terms of the FUN aspects men love it if you smile and laugh, keep on asking questions, it’s better that they talk (at this stage). 1st meet is a chemistry meet, 2nd meet is an arrangement discussion so no talk of arrangement on 1st meet. Must dash – play nice everyone.

  515. VillaCypris *276489* says:

    You know, Kit kat, for all the years I lived in Charlotte, never once did I go up to the speedway! Nascar is huge in NC though. I like Formula 1 racing. I got to go to the Monaco Grand Prixe back in 2006, that was intense. You could hear the cars 2 miles away…..

  516. VillaCypris *276489* says:

    Hi Flo Rida!

    That’s great – I’m happy you had a good experience here! Yea, I love the lakes in Uptown, too… especially Lake of the Isles, i go rollerblading around there a lot. It does get cold in the winter, but it’s bearable…. if you get out there and enjoy the skiing, skating, snow…. :) I like the “four seasons”….

    enjoy your day off! x

  517. I like football to I have yet to go to a live game but Iam working on it!!
    and basketball
    I wanna go se Labron james and shaq I love sports but NASCAR tops um all!!

  518. Flo Rida says:

    VillaC – I was in St. Paul Thurs & Fri, it’s been 11 years. Daddy got a 1 year job in St. Paul & we joined him after 5 months. I loved uptown lakes & also the lakes north of the city. People were superfriendly – it does get cold though but I’ve also been to Calgary inwinter so I know cold. keep warm. I have sunday off so I can catch up with my life. bliss

  519. Flo Rida says:

    Eastcoastfilly – i’ve been with SD 2+ months, there are rules and boundaries which if I or he break i’d be gone in a heartbeat. I’m here 100percent for SD (one of the rules) and so gifts are allowed. A gift should be personal (so no universal gift work) but getting him his fav things work (SD likes beef jerky – strange I know), massages work, bedroom stuff definitely works (sorry if this offends), if you spend a lot of time with SD if you make sure things happen EXACTLY how he likes them he will eventually notice. I’d ask how he feels about gifts in general too – comms.
    AtlNicole and DC – updating profile flips you as a new member.

  520. DC says:

    Hey OC! Have a great date!

    Football….. I have never been able to get interested in the sport and know nothing about it. I need to date a man who is into sports for a change.

  521. VillaCypris *276489* says:

    Oh! I forgot you are originally from the midwest… i recall reading something about that a loooooooooooong time ago :) cool! me, too.

  522. VillaCypris *276489* says:

    HAHAHAHAH! “You betcha”….. you even have the lingo down pat!

    It’s approaching sacrilege…. arguably the greatest Packer of all time, now playing for the arch-rivals…. my dad has season tickets but he’s taking one of my brothers today. maybe I’ll get the invite for the monday night football game!!!

    • OCSugarbaby says:

      Villa: Yes my Midwest roots are deep, I try to suppress my Midwestern lingo here in LALA land, but it slips out every once in a while!

  523. OC have they changer the Jack kent cook stadium to something else yet?

  524. VillaCypris *276489* says:

    HA! OC – are you going to watch the Vikings/49ers game??? First home game for Brett Favre as a Viking. All the Packer fans are just dying. You’ll have to watch the game on 5 October, monday night football…. vikings v packers… going to be a madhouse!

    • OCSugarbaby says:

      Kit-Kat: I believe it changed in 1999 to FEDEX.

      Villa: You betcha I will be watching that game! I was a sports marketing agent a while back and had several Packers as my clients. I loved getting them involved in community events. I will forever be a fan!!!

  525. VillaCypris *276489* says:

    EastCoastFilly – yeah, it can become addicting!! A good addiction, though 😉

    Kit Kat – yeah, L’amant, from her postings she sounds like a really cool girl. Maybe she’s out having an amazing weekend in the French wine country….

  526. hey where is L,manant? anyway I got to e-mail her!

  527. EastCoastFilly says:

    Thanks DC, all good ideas. I’ll think about what he may like to surprise him. All else fails, dinner by me.
    Good morning VillaCypris! and everyone else!
    I hesitated to start posting for fear I would become addicted 😉

  528. thanks Oc! I though I would leave anything elseto be said alone!
    and how are you this morning anyway?

    • OCSugarbaby says:

      Kit-Kat: French’y may be on a sugar weekend. I am good! Fully rested and caffinated. I have a fun filled sugar day planned. Second date with a lovely gentleman who has taken into account my love of watching sports! “Fabulous day to watch men in tight pants tackling each other” Just can’t figure out which heels to wear! ugh! 😉

  529. VillaCypris *276489* says:

    DC: Sounds like a great trip! My sister-in-law’s mother is terrified of flying, too, and not only takes the amtrak to and from AZ, but also takes the Queen Mary over to the UK so as to avoid trans-atlantic flights.

    OC: Good morning :)

    hello to eastcoastfilly, realistic, and subettegirl…

  530. DC says:

    Re: Gifts

    I was once pondering the same thing….I felt so grateful to one of my new SDs that I wanted to buy him something. I ran this by a few people and they recommended against it. Not sure why….perhaps they thought it might signal some kind of attachment too soon.

    If I were with an SD for an extended period of time I would definitely want to get them a gift for big occasions because at this point I would consider them a friend and I would do the same for any friend.

    I still think a small gift is a good idea to show you care. Something inexpensive that shows you took some time and effort to get them something they would like. It shows that you have been attentive to what makes them happy and their lives.

    I like to show my appreciation in other ways though…like by cooking them a nice elaborate dinner. They can obviously eat in the best, most expensive restaurants but how often do they get a wonderful meal cooked for them. I follow that up with a nice long massage. So far no complaints 😉

  531. subettegirl says:

    hey ladies
    i just started sugaring sun and have not met anyone yet
    i had one date last night in a restaraunt i choose but we missed connections and i was hella upset about that but he did prove he was there and i was 35 mins late so its sort of my fault. neither of us had the others cell numbers on them. i am finding the blog to be the best thing about this site. my profile is being viewed and my messages read but only 3-4 sd’s responded and it did not go anywhere. i also tried another sugar site which i dont like at all.

    i am finding CL to be much more active although you get flagged within an hour because i refuse to post in erotic services i post on the relationship side. so far from cl i have 8 potential sd’s and that is from only 2 postings within one week. they all seem real but some are more affluential than other and some seem more weirder than other in terms of fetishes. one is in a wheelchair so i wonder how that will go.

    any advice ….. i am actually considering seeing 2 of them consistently
    one of them wants 3 times a week mostly during the day and the other
    1-2 times .. this is my first exposure into this world so i may be way over my head here.

    i also have a child but am not comfortable mentioning it or involving the knowledge that she exsistes into any part of this world.

    i am trying to meet 2 of them today and another 2 on mon
    i get the feeling if i dont meet them in a reasonable time frame then i just become an email fantasy.

    thanks

  532. DC says:

    Hi Villa, Lisa, everyone:

    Lisa- the blog would not be the same without you! Love your perspective on everything.

    It’s beautiful and sunny but kind of chilly in Seattle. I am just back from a 15 day trip to Florida and NYC and still recovering. I took Amtrak…yes Amtrak..because I am terrified of flying. 4 days on the train each way and on the way back I got a stomach bug. Let me tell you…being sick on Amtrak is a form of torture. All I can say is there’s no place like home.

    Grew up in NYC and hadn’t been back for 30 years. Changed so much. I didn’t like it. Got to see Chicago (cool town) and Washington DC (loved all the power suits…..my God!!) and the beach in Florida was gorgeous. But it all made me realize I live in the best city.

    The one good thing that came out of this trip is that fear be damned…next time I will fly.

  533. EastCoastFilly says:

    Thank you Realistic! Any suggestions? I haven’t had a real boyfriend in a while either so can’t even remember what to get a guy. Plus, all the men I dated were younger (IRL) this is my first time dating older men so I imagine tastes would be different?

  534. VillaCypris *276489* says:

    Wow. Exactly, so much for fall! Enjoy your trip to the grocery store! “We are what we eat”. 😉

    • OCSugarbaby says:

      Lisa: Please stop picking on sugars. We all need support and need a place to come and enjoy ourselves. Have fun shopping you deserve some gourmet fun! 😉

      RainyStreet: That was barb was also not called for. I know that I love those fun sugar Rap songs! I think they are kitchy and make me laugh when I hear them, it is like a private secret that no one else around me would understand. 😉

  535. Villa Maro-largo oh yes that is what it is

    The negitive comments are so wonderful I am so glad that they appear!
    really wonderful how we seek out new members and confuse them as if they have said or done something Wrong! wonderful just wonderful

  536. RealisticSD says:

    EastCoastFilly, my answer would be yes, get him a gift. Nothing expensive, but something little to show that you care and that you took the time to pick something out for him. I once went out with an SB and the second date happened to be on my birthday and she got me something. It was sweet.

  537. lisa says:

    Villa, it’s going to be 92 here today and in the 90’s all week :( so much for fall.

    I am going to venture out later and walk to the big supermarket that I haven’t been able to walk to in a long while. It’s a huge place with gourmet foods and sampling, very nice classy place.

    Have a good day everyone. I need to hit the washers

  538. VillaCypris *276489* says:

    Good morning, Lisa!

    Glad you have the day off! It’s a beautiful fall day in Minneapolis :) hope not too hot in Houston!

  539. lisa says:

    Good morning Villa, DC :) Nice to see you two ladies on the blog this morning.

    Enjoying my sunday off. Getting ready to do laundry and go to the store.

    RainyStreet, I must add that most potential SDs are not impressed with rap music, TI or whatever it is.

  540. VillaCypris *276489* says:

    Good morning, DC – how are things in Seattle???

  541. DC says:

    AltNicole-

    I think that If a member updates/edits their profile in any way they show up in the new member section and their profile created date changes to the date they edited their profile. Not 100% certain about this

    Sweetred- I wish you the best with the new pot SD. And good for you for not writing him off. You are far more forgiving then I am. As a Pisces I have so much empathy for people and would never hurt someone’s feelings like that. I find sometimes that if I am willing to put up with rude or flaky behavior from a pot SD I have to check myself and ask why. I hope he turns out to be a good guy though. From your pictures and what you write on the blog you are more than qualified to be a SB and I am glad he realized that. Good luck.

  542. VillaCypris *276489* says:

    Good morning, Kit Kat!

    Funny you should mention that, as the first time I lived in Palm beach, back in 1999, I worked for Donald Trump! His private club/residence is called Mar-a-Lago – sea to lake – and is one of the largest parcels of land that stretches across palm beach from the intracoastal to the ocean.

    He bought the place in 1986 for only $13 million and has restored it to its former glory. It’s a breath taking edifice, with amazing views of the Atlantic, gorgeous rooms and grounds, and wonderful people.

    How are you this morning? :)

  543. Raniey
    I went to Medical billing and coding school, its not that much but I studied harder then anything else in my life, because I wanted the classes to Stick with me. I loved the medical terminology.

    Villa I dont know what they call that island out there I figure you would know just what I was talking about though if I discribed it as such. and Manalapan is east on hypoluxoover the waterway and eastward its cute umm I think donald trump’s hotel is there. man I cannot remember what that place is called at the moment.
    and I do not live in south florida anymore. but I did love it downthere!

  544. Koi says:

    Bye, off to church! Will log in later!

  545. Koi says:

    Hi Rainy Street!

    I just watched both the original and the Weird Al! Haha! Super funny =)

    So, while on that tangent, what are some of your favorite sugarbaby songs everyone?? Mine are (in no particular order):

    1. Money Honey – Lady Gaga (My ringtone!)

    2. Diamonds are a Girls Best Friend

    3. Whatever you Like – T.I.

    4. American Boy (Rmx) – Estelle

  546. EastCoastFilly says:

    HI All! I am relatively new, been on SA for about 3 months. I have had some good luck on here. Nothing perfect but SDs that are great while I still hope to find the perfect situation. Anyhow, I’ve been reading this blog since I signed up. I love it! Have gotten to know everyone while I lurked. I’m caving in because I have a questions I need help with. I really wish there was a forum on this site where we could just all post and chat our own subjects!

    Q: If you’ve been seeing a SD for a while, few months, do you ever get him gifts, say for his bday or xmas? I certainly don’t have much disposable income for such things but I would like to show my appreciation. What is the best way to do this? Gifts or other gestures aside from our usual antics 😉

  547. AtlNicole*389079* says:

    That may explain it. My account seems to be correct, but I will keep an eye on it. Thanks.

  548. The Lone Gunman says:

    Good Sunday Morning, Sugars!

    Did you have a sweet Saturday night?

    AtlNicole*389079*:

    I have had the opinion lately that the date/time stamping for several things are way off on SA’s site. In some cases the time stamps alone make no sense in context to the message responded to–a response before the original message for example.

    TLG

  549. AtlNicole*389079* says:

    Why is it that any time I try to search for new members, the results are members that I can remember seeing a week ago? Their pages say that the account was opened today, but that makes no sense…

  550. RainyStreet says:

    just google: al yankovic whatever you like
    & you’ll find it!

  551. RainyStreet says:

    BTW Everybody- There is this GREAT SONG I think everybody should listen to, if you know (or even if you don’t know) who T.I. is, he sings that song “whatever you like” (the sugar daddy song), then you should listen to the Al Yankovic version about sugar dating in these economic times!
    Trust me I’m ROFLOL ’cause I just heard it!
    ha ha!
    the song is “whatever you like” by: weird Al Yankovic look it up and have yourself a laugh! It feels good to be happy!

  552. RainyStreet says:

    Sizzler and BeckySB- hilarious! lol! thanks for sharing your opinions! you guys hit it right on the nose with what you said! closed-minded people deserve to hear the truth and you gave it to her straight! Thank you!

    kitkat- love the medical/ legal advice, always good to learn new things!

    Everyone else-having a good night all?

  553. VillaCypris *276489* says:

    Hi Gail! It has been awhile….. and yep, still cycling around… how was Richmond? I was there back in July to visit one of my friends from college. Good to be back in VA. :)

    Kit Kat – I lived on palm beach island, i’ve never heard it referred to as “flagler island” … although I can see why, as Flagler was instrumental in making PB what it is today. Manalapan is south of palm beach. You’re in FLA, right?

    Koi – glad your date went well!

  554. RealisticSD says:

    OCSugarbaby, thanks for bringing up the perfume issue. SBs should minimize perfume for married SDs.

    AltNicole said, “I have yet to have a man flat out say that what I was asking for was never going to happen.” I said that once to a SB. She asked me to double her allowance while at the same time she said that she wanted to see me half as often. I pretty much said no on the spot. Then I thought about it for a few days and told her that I’d go with the double allowance but she’d have to see me as much as she was before.

    SugaCaneBby asked, “What do you guys and gals talk about with potential sugars normally?” Anything and everything. I am very open, so there are no topics that are off limits for me. The key for the SB is to appear genuinely interested in the SD as a person. I think for the SD the key is to put the SB at ease. Perhaps best to avoid controversial topics at first. What I have found is that if all else fails and an SB just can’t talk about any topic, I can either talk about relationships in general or just gossip away about random people I know and the crazy things in their lives. You can learn a lot about a person by seeing their reaction to random people’s lives and problems. I can also talk about SBs I have met and what worked or didn’t work with each one so she’d get a better idea of who I am and what I’m looking for. I tend to be overly honest and open, and some people find that uncomfortable at first, but everyone learns to love it.

    Naim asked, “Is it bad to have feelings for your SD?” Not at all. I want an SB who adores me and loves me, as long as she is fully cognizant of the fact that I will not leave my family. So there are boundaries that must be respected. But some people here seem to want a more emotionally distant relationship than I do.

  555. Koi says:

    Goodnight OC!! AltNicole! And all =)

    I’m off to bed, too.

  556. Koi says:

    Yes, we have to be careful about the situations we put ourselves in. I’m going to try and do as much research as possible on Google and such before letting them get close to me.

    • OCSugarbaby says:

      Koi: Unfortunately Google only tells you so much. The persons character comes out in the meeting face to face. Tread slowly!

      Nite Sugars, I am off to get some beauty rest.

  557. AtlNicole*389079* says:

    The other story has a not so happy ending with me feeling used and disgusted, so now I have seen both senarios, and I am hopefully wise enough to figure out which one a man has in mind before I get played again.

  558. Koi says:

    AltNicole- That’s great that you found someone willing and able to help you with school and work! Surprised that he introduced you to this site! Thought he’d want to keep you to himself, lol.

    It seems, from what I’ve read, that older men is the way to go.

  559. AtlNicole*389079* says:

    Koi – I used to work at a *ahem* Gentelman’s Club. One of my regulars was an older divorced man who wore me down and convinced me to go to dinner with him. We had known each other for a few months and he explained that he wasn’t looking for a real relationship, but he really wanted to see me get back into school and that he wanted to help me out. He helped me get caught up on some bills and made sure I had enough money to stay on my feet while I am in school. He even helped me get the job that I have now, so that I would not have to commute as far. When he decided to move to Boston, he showed me this site and I thought I would give it a try.

  560. Koi says:

    Hi AltNicole!

    How did you meet your SD in real life??? I would like to do that… Because then I might find someone more local!

    Thanks!

  561. Marcy says:

    And I just joined this site last night… I apologize in advance if I confuse anyone, but I’m going to change my name!! I’m going to be Koi!

    Koi = Marcy, k k !!

    Sorry sorry! Thanks for your understanding and co-operation!!

  562. AtlNicole*389079* says:

    Niam – I think over time it is natural to develop some sort of feelings for your SD. There is no right answer to your question. It all depends on the individuals involved. Right now I am not looking for a relationship, so I like to keep things NSA, and I try to make sure I pick out pots who are in the same frame of mind. There are some SDs on this site who say that they are open to the idea of an arrangement turning into something more serious, so you would have to ask what your SD is looking for.

    Marcy- I am fairly new to this, and just started a new arrangement a few days ago, so i do not have a whole lot of advice to give on the online side of things other than what I learned by spending hours reading through the blogs. I have had SDs before that I met IRL, one that went terribly wrong and another that i am still friends with now.

  563. Marcy says:

    Hi Niam! I think it depends on what kind of an arrangement/relationship you have. You want to have that chemistry. However, if he is married or it’s a NSA type thing, you don’t want to invest feelings and get hurt.

    And Haha. Miss OC! Glad to hear you are having fun! Your wisdom is always appreciated!

  564. Naim says:

    question: Is it bad to have feelings for your SD?

    • OCSugarbaby says:

      Niam: Feelings are a good thing, it’s called Chemisty…
      But know the boundries with him and respect them. That goes both ways!

  565. Marcy says:

    Ladies! I want to hear all of your experiences! Old and new. Share so we can all learn, please! =)

    • OCSugarbaby says:

      Marcy: My sugar world is far more fun then should be allowed! I try not to spill my sugar, I keep it in my beautiful Limoge sugar bowl! Keeps it discreet. But I am always willing to share my wisdom and knowledge when I can. 😉

  566. Marcy says:

    Hi OC!

    No, I let them make that decision. He alluded to that during the date, but we didn’t set an exact date. I’ll just hope for the best (but expect the worst, lol).

    So, how is your search going??

    Gail, I agree with you! I love the diversity here! We’re all looking for something unique to ourselves.

    Kitty, I think the one’s who are constantly calling/texting/going overboard with compliments and petnames are a red flag. No one should that lovey with someone they don’t know. It can’t be genuine. I noticed that first guy I told yall about (the shopping mishap) he was the same way. Sent text after text and when I didn’t immediately respond, started calling! Should have noted the signs earlier!

    Citrus- I agree with AltNicole. Don’t settle. You get what you settle for. There is someone out there who will make you happy. =)

  567. Naim says:

    OC … Thanks so much!! .. will do

  568. Marcy says:

    Hi Ladies!

    I’m back from my date, and it was super!

    He admitted that he was nervous about meeting me; I thought he was really sweet. Oh, and I’m the first person he’s met!! He said I was even more beautiful in person, nice company, and that I put him at ease. We ended with a little cheek to cheek kiss before he made the drive back to his hometown, and I just got a “Thank you” text from him.

    I feel this is the start of something special. =)

    Thank you for the advice girls! I used some of your questions in getting to know him. And I wore a little Betsey Johnson sailor dress that I feel super cute in. =)

  569. Niam I told ya OC is a wealth of knowledge.
    also the Seeking arrangment book is a great read too
    however I would first start with thw Blogs the Archives start from the most dated !

  570. Naim says:

    thanks kitkat … i just want it to happen …. im so anxious yet know nothing about being an SB (newbie) Any advice on approaches and going about making the arrangement?

    • OCSugarbaby says:

      Niam: BEFORE you can approach talking about the arrangement. Research and understand what an SD/SB relationship is all about. The blog is a very good way to start. Read some of the old blog topics and it will help you gain a basic understanding. LEARN what it is not. That way when you are communicating with someone you can spot the flakes.

  571. Naim whats shakin laady?
    I am not the Edit police so I will refer you to Oc at this time. but how old you are shouldnt matter and If you a sexy an you know it just hold on and wait! hes coming loking through lots of profiles infront of you!
    also go and contace some of the men you find acceptable!

    • OCSugarbaby says:

      Niam: It’s not the quantity it is the quality of the message. Tips:
      1. Log in and out often. Many look to see who has log’d in and view and message from that search option.
      2. Review your profile for spelling and content. Too little or too much content will be debated. My take in it is make it interesting without being too wordy.
      3. View as many SD profiles that you can, they will also see who viewed them and click on yours if it interests them.
      4. Keep your user name PG. If you want serious, keep it serious. Veer away from names like HOT and Ready or Sexy ___.
      5. Send out emails, but know that it may take a bit for a response. Pose a question to them, it may get a reply quicker.
      6. READ their profile and if you are totally NOT what they are looking for don’t message them!

  572. Naim says:

    Ok, so I’ve been on here for a little while … but I havent gotten much messages … I know im attractive… I’ve gotten like 70 profile views but the messages in comparison … are wayyy below …. Is it my age? Is it because i want something semi serious/romantic… ahhh dont know what to do … any advice?

  573. oww shes a brick house!!*singing* I like that OC
    I am sure you are was it OPI? polish no art work?

    • OCSugarbaby says:

      Kit-Kat: Yes, I love OPI. I think it is the Russian color series. Nope no art. I don’t feel comfortable having art, my job is in the business world and I only consider wearing it on a vacation.

      Who else is still on here? Raise your hands!!! I can’t see you…

  574. Wait a min OC what kinda mani/pedi did you get.. you didnt think I forgot about that did . what kinda polish? are you going to Wear your toes out? oh and do the ladies wear acrylics on there’ toes up there?

    • OCSugarbaby says:

      Kit-Kat: I am ulta conservative, yet a soft spoken sexy vixen in my style! My nails will always be a somewhat short nail with a french manicure and my toes are a sexy deep deep navy almost a purple. I love my toes peeking out of my gladiator sandels with a punch of funky color!

  575. Citrus
    when I can say is that i for one support you! I just want to remind you that we are here with ya and this is the exception. you are worth your higest standards and next time will be looking for that!
    Support girl full of support!! kit-kat is full of support for her sugarsisters!

  576. hey OC thanks for the post. and you know I was messing with you , you know by now I am a serial sass-artist and I couldnt help that!
    as my post I refuse to have the barbs pointed toward me.
    as I said I wont be responding to sillyness anymore.

    • OCSugarbaby says:

      Kat: Exactly, barbs are hurtful. We have such a lovely group of sugars posting. I have enjoyed each and every one of your lively posts!

      Real SD’s do not talk about SEX with such disregard and disrespect of the SB. BLOCK!

  577. SugaCaneBby says:

    I don’t know, Kit-Kat. I suppose I could try, but I doubt I’ll get much back. I read MSN all the time and I can just imagine trying to chat them up about studies done on parasites found it certain foods.

    But hey, that ish is interesting to me. 😀 I bet you if I was like, “wats ur fave sex position??” they’d be all over it.

  578. Citrus says:

    lol, @ Kit-Kat, you have no idea how many times I’ve gone back and forth on this, thinking and rethinking. It is definitely a one-time only thing. thanks.

  579. humm well how about current events? lunar events ,global events, sydney had a sandstorm, ahh the cash for klunker thing how the dealers are reselling the cars! ahh new gadgets from best buy?

  580. Citrus Right now you go write down that you will never let yourself get up aginst this wall again and carry it in your purse! have something to Remember that this is the EXCEPTION and that you are going to be Super SELECTIVE next time!. ok??

  581. SugaCaneBby says:

    Kit-Kat – They don’t care!!! ;______; They cite that I’m intelligent and that they dig it, but that’s about it. I don’t believe they do much reading themselves. I need a NY Times Bestseller Daddy maybe. :3

    I honestly think these two are just excited about the bedroom prospects since they’re being so sparse. Yeesh.

  582. Citrus says:

    @ AtlNicole and Sugarcanebby: thanks, financial problems can really force you to lower your standards, but I will definitely keep searching.

  583. Suga you are a great Thinker on your feet*are yours wide too? and I think it very intresting that you are a writer, maybe go on the ernest hemmingway writings?

  584. lol I COULD NOT HELP IT I am sorry lol heheheheheh sorry I had to!!

  585. me I want wendys and drink out of a mason jar!!

  586. SugaCaneBby says:

    AtlNicole – I know. I can talk about a variety of things but it seems as if after they contact me, they put all the weight of the convo on me and leave it up to me to come up with things to talk about. I ask about their interests and they’re just as vague as they were in their bloody profiles about it. Who DOESN’T enjoy travel and fine dining? Seriously.

    I don’t know. I’m just alarmed at how bland things are. Over a year ago, before I really researched this lifestyle, I was talking to a Pot SD at a restaurant and we reaaaaalllly hit it off well. Like the convo came naturally.

    They never really ask me anything about myself, either. That could pad some of the messages because if there’s a subject I know a lot about, it is moi, LOL. Methinks I shall try harder. Time to throw some of my quirks into these and see what happens.

    • OCSugarbaby says:

      Kit-Kat: Yea, I can’t spell slang very well! I was just trying to lighten the mood or ignore it. I meant no disrespect to anyone! I have a wicked sense of humor. Couldn’t decide which to do. But I think I will ignore the mean comments from here on out. They just don’t belong on here! Such hate is sad.

      Lisa Penelope: When you were down and sad about your family or when you would come on the blog and get support and love from the blog sugars it was fine and well. But lately you have been hitting the posts with venom. We miss your posts and love to cheer on your sugar happiness.
      Note to ALL: Please enter with respect, it is hard enough to work through sugar issues, taking pot shots at posters is not called for.
      Group Hugs!!!

  587. SugaCaneBby says:

    Citrus – No, it is not normal. Dude seems to be overly excited and is definitely trying to push you to the bed sooner rather than later.

  588. AtlNicole*389079* says:

    Citrus – It is never good to have to start an arrangement becauseof financial stress. Obviously all of the SBs on here enjoy the financial benefits, but the problem is that you end up stuck with a SD who you are not really all that comfortable with. I have been there myself, and it didn’t work out very well. Do what you need to do, but keep searching for a better fit. He is out there somewhere.

  589. AtlNicole*389079* says:

    Suga- I try to touch on a few different topics until I find one that we share a common interest in. Since I work at a bar, I am usually pretty up to date on sports news and current events. If all else fails I just start telling them about places I have traveled or interesting things I have learned that may pertain to their field of work.

    Some men are just easier to talk to than others. There are times when I feel like they are just going down a list of questions to ask me. That can get sort of weird after a while.

  590. Citrus says:

    Just wanted to say that this blog has been very helpful to those of us who are new to this.
    I have a question. I met with a POT this past week after talking on the phone for several days. I quickly discovered that he likes calling me a lot (several times a day) and texting, which quickly turns erotic. I am not a prude, and I don’t mind this every now and then, and I understand that I can’t be too selfish with my time, but it seems like most of our conversation quickly turns erotic unless I divert it from doing so. And the calling and texting is getting to be a bit much.
    Is this a normal part of the SD/SB relationship
    We’ve started our arrangement cause i’m in a pretty tight situation financially right now, but I am still looking for that perfect SD that wont be as demanding and slightly less testostorone driven. am i asking for too much?

  591. SugaCaneBby says:

    Oh my god…I never know what to talk about with some of these men. I have to keep a muzzle on my brain so I don’t let certain thoughts slip out lest I be deemed “unsophisticated”…but it’s sooooo mundane to have this chit-chatty banter going about boring things like my day. :( I’m kinda crude, but I’ve been told more than once that that is what makes me exciting, that I keep it real and have an edge. Gotta mind the generational gap though.

    What do you guys and gals talk about with potential sugars normally?

  592. Kitty I think you gotta do pepper/*be hit and miss*
    ask them about previous sb’s they have to answer and they usally want to boast about how well it was/ or wasnt, but the reverse way is a good way you could get a feel for his expense range, but The arrangment really works better in person and if your a good dective/and attentive you can get him to allude to his range and go from there

  593. KittyBabe says:

    that’s the problem , I didnt’ ask for alot. I actually let it on him to decide on the budget… but he made it really clear that he could pay whatever.I don’t think money was a problem I just think he was only lookin for sex but when I let him know that I wasn’t gonna sleep with him on the first day we met he gave up..
    anyway, hes loss..
    I gotta go.
    ciao sugars!

  594. AtlNicole*389079* says:

    Kittybabe- flakes are no fun, and in my experience, it is rare to find a man admitting that he cannot afford you. Maybe if you ask for a lot, you mayrun into that, but I have yet to have a man flat out say that what I was asking for was never going to happen. They always seem to play along for the conversation and then vanish. Don’t take it personally, some of those men probably had no business on this site to begin with.

  595. but any body with Diversions speak up do not hold your peace!!

  596. KittyBabe says:

    K-kat… my search is not so great. maybe it’s because Im so green to this (new). Im kinda shy when it comes to discuss the arrangment, maybe thats a turn off, I dunno…anyway My last SD attempt (lol) was a little inmature and full of sht,(he’s young) we had this great conversation, great time, I told him what I needed, (which is not a LV or Gucci) just rent and some stuff Im behind since I lost my job and he said he wanted to help me no matter what and then he never replied back!!! I got soo pissed, not because he didnt gave me anything but the way he lie about it with so much detail ! anyway , Im not giving up, just waiting for what’s next for me = )
    how about you ?

  597. becky it is not and that was the first time we butt heads, politics

  598. BeckySB says:

    but thanks for the welcome anyway kitkat

  599. BeckySB says:

    Thanks kitK. i think you are cool. Its just lisa seems judgmental and not supportive. Its more the attitude of im better than you, snide comments, on and on. Kind of elementary school stuff. The racist thing is more having to do with all her comments about her neighbors.

    And i also dont think this blog is really the best place to talk and preach about politics.

  600. Gail says:

    Lisa’s not racist…Percy’s black for god sakes…(smile)

    Huge pieces of lemon cake for Kit-Kat : ) Lisa…this cake is moist…it’s from Trader Joe’s….Passing around the peace pipe…except…I don’t know how to smoke…cough..cough….ugh….
    Now really going…take care all : )

  601. hey becky I dont remember if you ever posted, but hello anyway
    but I did not think lisa is racist at all ! as gail said it is important for us to have and share diffrent point of Views,
    I for one apprciete lisa SHE NEVER conceeds about her views which to me makes her at least Genuine. like I said I just dont like all the negitvty! and now I am just choosing to to let the post go by because it is pointless to try to talk about it!

  602. lisa says:

    I had a piece of Lemon cake at starbucks yesterday. I wasn’t very good though, not moist at all :(

    Have a good night Gail

  603. AtlNicole*389079* says:

    Hello Sugars. Hope everyone had a lovely Saturday. It is storming here again, but hopefully no more flooding.

    Marcy – Good luck on your date. I recommend wearing something that you don’t get to wear often, or of course something new and fabulous. For me I have a certain pair of shoes in both black and brown, I love them more than all the others, so those are always my first date shoes.

    Sweetredhead – Glad you were able to show this man that you know how to take care of yourself. What happened with the pot that you were so smitten with a few days ago?

  604. Gail says:

    I will donate my LG Shine…if he can make a New I Phone for me : )
    lol…. : )

    Nite Kit-Kat and Lisa… you two have different views and experiences but both can exist on the blog : ) I hate trollers…Going to eat a nice big piece of lemon cake.

  605. lisa says:

    Ignoring the nasty little paragrah by BeckySB

    Gail, I really need to buy a new phone, maybe he can make me one, lol
    Have a good night and get some rest :)

  606. aclu would have happy to assist!

  607. BeckySB says:

    Ok im new just want to show some support for KitK I’m a lurker from way back when so I know the drill. Lisa your attitude is pretty awful. Worse than your political views is that you appear to be a racist. What are you the SA Martyr? Obama is your President too, unless you decide to move to another country and give up your citizenship. You have a married lover and you sleep with married SD’s and receive monies that you probably don’t declare. Sleep with serial killers, well if that’s your thing, but honey wear a condom, even 40 year old sb’s like you can get sperminated.

  608. Gail says:

    lol….imagine…little talking Percys all over the place : ) I am staying home this evening…still try to catch up on rest after being all over last week. I will chat with you later…we will catch up : ) Good nite….

  609. lisa says:

    Hi Gail great to see you tonight. :) It’s back to hot weather here.

    kit-kat first be informed I had no insurance. I haven’t never had insurance. My husband left the country so there was no jurisdiction in the middle east to make him pay. The money in the bank was taken by him. As far as the hospital bill. I went to the hospital. Received bill, had to apply for medicaid (I qualified now because my husband was gone) and when things got better, my mom helped me repay the tax payers buy contriuting to the trama center which is supposed to be the best in HOuston, thus it also helps normal people.

    The good hospital did make me leave, and no I never thought of suing, I don’t have the lawsuit entitlement mentality and would never sue anyone. Husband was a whole different situation, middle eastern, not a good choice in Husband but that was years ago no big deal. I had to refuse child support in order to protect my duaghter from him getting even and kidnapping her to the middle east where girls marry at 12, so I made the best judgement. It’s also really interesting how when one takes care of themselves that they can have a healthy baby without prenatal care. She graduated cum laude and is the first in my family to attend college, doing very well indeed.

    ex husband I have no idea where he is but i’m sure he’s doing very well.
    He’s not an issue to me anymore, haven’t seen him since the divorce.

    Gail Percy is doing fine, eating his nice birdseed, such a stuck up snob pigeon. lol If I let him out he keeps trying to get on the phone and have sex, gotta keep him from having phone sex, lol

  610. Villa
    did you live in malapan or on flagler island*is that what they call it?

  611. Gail says:

    Hello Lisa!!!!
    I just love your unique perspective on life…it’s you and your beliefs not that it is the same as others…but then why should it be…you are you!!!
    I respect what you have to say because my experiences in life have been very different. How does it go…walk a mile in my shoes? (smile)

    How’s the weather there in Houston…rainy? or is it hot? It’s been pretty warm here…but when I was traveling last back east is was rainy for 5 of the 8 days I was there. And how is Percy? He must have gained weight from all the new variety of birdseed. Take care my sugar friend : ) and have a great rest of the weekend.

    Greetings Villa…I see you are still cycling round the countryside : ) Nice to see ya!!! It’s been awhile!!!

  612. Marcy and Villa and Kitty hey ladies how are ya ? tell me hows the sugar and are your searches going?

  613. lisa Really you cant be this deppressive all you life comon!
    your last post is full of holes and Kinda suspect, did you donate or did you pay? dosent matter because hubby insurance would have covered you it takes at least 30 days to cancell someone off insurance, if you had simply wrote a letter/or called to the insurance company saying he hasn’t filed offical court papers you were still legally married and that means he is deemed the Father anyway then it Really was him blowing smoke*and that is sad on his part*because then They would be liable. that and if not.. opps theres that medicaid kicking in, then the state will be reimbursed, lets see divorce decree would stipulate he have to mantain he cover the child medically and you if found indigent.
    Like I said I am a happy person but you are not going to play with my intelligence like I was born lastnight.
    listen boo- boo its not like people do not talk outside of this blog! and about your husband.. well you know the Skinny on that
    Good citizen and responsiable? yeah the last 4 weeks of a pregnancy, lets see not going to the Doctor? now THATS responsiable
    glad you and your Daughter didnt have any underlying conditions or Gestational issues.
    and if in deed you were in active labor again they Would not and Could not Deny you care and or Stablization. I know, you know what malpractice is and The hospitals pay big for malpractice insurance and are Well educated on not making themselvs liable.

    your husband did not show good judgement and I am Really sorry you were haveing all that come to you in a time that should have been filled with Support and support! I am sure he Reaped what he sowed.
    lisa I think it fair to say we dissagree on some things but never should you had to go through that especially when that time in your life shoulda been focused on the babygirl!

    I think I will from this point disregard anything else you say unless you ask me directly! and that is with all due respect!

  614. KittyBabe says:

    k- kat… I lov your style ! keep the good vibes in here ! =)
    Mercy – good luck tonite! have fun and don’t change who you are for no one !!!
    Realistic SD,. ..thanxs for the reply,(at least you told her what was up!)

  615. VillaCypris *276489* says:

    Flo Rida – it was I who mentioned Minneapolis/St Paul. How cool you lived here! Glad you liked it. It’s a great “twin city”. :)

    I’m off to dinner. Have a good evening Lisa and Kit Kat and anyone else I missed….. x

  616. Marcy says:

    Hi Kit Kat and OCSugarbaby!!

    Thanks for the advice. I’ll keep those questions in mind if there is a lull in the conversation! I’m off! I’m a bit of a foodie, so if nothing else, there’s always the food to look forward to!

    Have a fun Saturday night all!

  617. lisa says:

    Please note that my husband left me a month before my daughter was born. I did not have insurance but we had enough in the bank to cover the hospital, well until he took the money and used it for a vacation. I never once went to the doctor till the day my daughter was born. Everything turned out fine. My daughter is 18 and only been to the doctor for immunizations which we paid for rather than use the freebie clinic. I had no preplanning because my husband made to much money and besides several thousand in the bank would have paid it. He left me but I don’t regret being married, better to be married and deserted than unwed.

    I was thrown out of a hospital that was blocks from were I lived. As soon as they found out I was uninsured, they required 2000 dollars upfront. They unplugged the equipment, told me I was faking labor and told me to go, which I did. Later that day my dad had to drive miles to the other side of town to the county hospital. It was a horrible experience being with all that trash and people thinking I was an unwed mother.
    Ther was a girl that was 20 and just had her 5th baby, she also had syphilis, great citizen there.

  618. Lisa I cannot change what ever bad Experince you have had in the innercity the suburbs have unspecfic and horrid things going on there too!
    hud was created way before My president came along and if you think you are gonna drag me in to a democrat republican debate
    check this out JEB bush made it possiable for my daughter to get tutoring
    Charile christ came to my nearest walmart and bought my neighbors pampers the hurricanes in 2004*he cant do any wrong* that was when he was leut. gov
    and now that he is Governer anytime I call that office in tallahassee with a problem Something gets done about my problem

    and about that Emergency medicaid just to have a baby you can shoot that in the wind somewhere else! hospitals have to take a lady in active labor to stablize if there is a problem until there is a speclist and or Deliver a baby,
    Every state in my USA will not Deny a unborn baby medical care. nor there mother
    just kinda funny how your delivery wasnt planned because if you and your ocbgyn had been seeing each other Regulary you would have been Registered and in a birthing room of your own!
    and about the other babies all but the hepitits baby went to DCF custody because the mothers were in that condition.I believe the statue reads failure to protect!
    and agin I like how you are the authority on right and wrong.

  619. lisa says:

    Kit-Kat I have no use for anything your president has to offer. I don’t take government assistance. The government didn’t create me and they don’t owe me anything.
    I will never be in support of unwed mothers. Divorced and widowed mothers, yes, single mothers no way. Getting pregnant isn’t like catching a cold, it can be prevented. Taking a quote from a favorite author “it’s not like a woman lands on a turkey injector full of semen and gets pregnant against her will, lol.

    Anyway I will uphold traditional family values where children are involved. When my daughter was born, I was in a room with 3 unwed mothers. Their babies were not in the room because one had syphilis, one hepititis, and one was a crack baby. My baby was the only healty and legitimate child in the room. Although I had to get emergency medicaid, my mom and I made donations to the hospital over a period of time that covered my modest hospital bill, directly towards the trauma center, not the maternatity section.

  620. Flo Rida says:

    GinaZ – glad you checked in – hope school is going well.

    RealisticSD – I agree with you but the amount I asked for could not possibly be justified by expenses and debt – everyone should adapt what I say as what I did works for me only – I sometimes think what would have happened if he’d said ‘what are you crazy’ but thankfully he did not. Finally on the finding a SB IRL the associate is only asking her to meet you, nothing more, you sell or pitch the SD SB relationship.

    Someone mentioned Minneapolis – I lived in St. Paul for 7 months & liked it.

    Must dash – play nice.

  621. OC its Beotches lol get it right Girl!! hehe

    To Everybody I tend to say things that may be taken out of context sometimes, I always always want to see a diffrent point of view!
    I love diversity and not scared of adversity. if I say someting the Wrong way by all means call me on the carpet!
    I am glass half full type of girl. and my glass is full of Energy!!

  622. Lisa ,
    I really really do not understand Why you choose to come here and be so non supportive??and hunny let me tell you ,I keep it profesional in here and yet my personality shows through ,I am not at the office and I can speak any way I want to until I have to use Words that I would surely mispell, I much Rather uplift someone then constanly belittle people .About Your hood comment. Our president has made it possiable for those of you Who want to buy a home to have an 8000 dollar credit further more your could get help with the SHIP program*if you income Qualify* to move if you Really didnt like your Neighborhood I further suggest going to the Dept of housing and urban development in your State!! I always hav tried to say a kind word to you and a positive one to you and Always a barb you give in return, THAT is certanily not very reflective of this blog, it is Quite apparent that tone and candor here is to help when asked and steer in a positive direction and at times with Constructive critisims, not Destructive comments .
    about the morality of the blog, you from what I understand you arent married but yet you have a SD. and if you go back and Read His post he is Also married, But yet you 100% agree. that goes against your values. does it not?!and how can you agree with someone who dosent even know What all is out there to choose from!

    MrRealistic I wasnt so much Jumping on you but I did want you to go and Explore diffrent methods of how you could protect yourself from a hurtful situation . in case it came off as I was unclear!

  623. VillaCypris *276489* says:

    Bye OC! Have fun. I’m heading out for a walk before dinner. ciao all. x

  624. sweetredhead *269443* says:

    He just asked me about the site lol. So I gave him the link and told him about the blog. I met him in another place.

  625. VillaCypris *276489* says:

    Sweetred!!!!!!!!! :)

    great story. Hope it goes well tonight!!!

  626. sweetredhead *269443* says:

    Here is a strange story. I get messaged by a Sd asking me with the age and body type that I am, How do I consider myself a SB. Being the person I am I am not offended, and decide to answer his questions. We sent emails back and forth for over 2 hours then continued to talk on the phone. It was impressed with my personality and with my answers. We are meeting this evening. He told me he has been meeting woman who he thought were “his type” and never considered an older woman or a full figured woman. He said he was intrigued by my personality and wants to meet.

    Moral of the story…Keep an open mind. You never know who is behind the wall so to speak.

  627. VillaCypris *276489* says:

    You’re welcome Marcy!

    It’ll be fine…. your date is most likely just as “nervous” as you are….

    • OCSugarbaby says:

      Marcy: Just think of it as meeting a new friend for dinner. Remember to BREATHE…
      Try to relax, I know that may be hard to do. But keep the conversation light and ask questions about favorite foods, most romantic place he has visited, if he could live anywhere where would that be, I steer clear of asking direct questions about his work or family. Unless he offers that type of info, just let the conversation banter be fun! Ask and answer those questions after you ask him one. You will be amazed how the conversation will flow and how time will fly by. He should be putting you at ease, but it is nice to have some of these types of questions to pull out of your SB handbook to show you have a genuine interest in learning about him. Remember to have fun and laugh. Oh, go easy on the perfume. I know it is tempting, but a hug could leave it lingering on his clothes if he is married.
      Oh, another old school gentlemen’ly quality I LOVE is when you know what you want to order let him know what that is and he may relay that to the waitperson for you. Enjoy!

      • OCSugarbaby says:

        Hey Villa, Sweetred, GinaZ, Lisa Penelope (who did I miss)…
        I am off to do the mani-pedi thing, I gotz mez a date tomorrow.
        Peace out Bizches! (Too Hood?) lol

  628. VillaCypris *276489* says:

    Thanks, Lisa! I couldn’t believe it yesterday when I realised that I hadn’t posted since June. I kept up on and off over the summer, however. Sounds like it was a rainy one in Houston!

  629. Marcy says:

    Thank you VillaCypris!!

    I’m going to go get dressed. I will try to sign on again before I head out in case anyone else posts. =)

    Bye for now!

  630. lisa says:

    Good afternoon VillaCypris, nice to see you posting again :)

    Returning to my home cleaning tour now

  631. VillaCypris *276489* says:

    Hi Marcy!

    Congrats!

    Advice…. hmmm…. just be yourself, wear something in which you feel attractive and confident, be attentive, smile, and don’t be nervous! :)

    best wishes for a great evening! xx

  632. Marcy says:

    Hi everyone! Hope everyone is having a great Saturday!!

    I’ve got a first date tonight! Meeting for dinner in a few hours.

    Any advice and good luck wishes are appreciated.

    Thanks!

  633. VillaCypris *276489* says:

    Hi Lisa! Long time no “see”!! :)

    OC – greetings…. :)

    ginaZ – thanks! i’ve been biking like this since 1988, started as a way to cross train for cross-country running. dust off that bike girl, it’d be a great study break!

    good for you, to be back in school. i had five years between college and grad school part I, and then two years between part I and part II. i love school, as well… or, more accurately, i love to LEARN. anything and everything. there’s so much out there to “know”!

    the search goes on…. i’ve been really disappointed lately, with the people to whom I have sent messages, as they lack the courtesy to respond.

    my location seems to be an issue, as there are no SDs in my area in whom i have any interest… most of the men to which i’m attracted are in NYC, London, and LA. i’d love to find someone in NYC, as I love it there and it’s less than three hours by plane, but thus far, the ones to whom i’ve spoken are looking for someone “local”.

    c’est la vie, eh.

  634. lisa says:

    Lately this blog is sounding alot more like my ghetto neighborhood, lol

    And I love Fox news. Just bought Ann Coulter’s book “Guilty” now there’s a woman with some class

    Now back to cleaing the bathtub

  635. ginaZ says:

    Hey Villa! Yes school, I’m so happy to be back! One more year, than off to grad school.
    How is your search going? BTW your bike trek is very inspiring! It’s time to take out my dusty bike and take it for a ride 😉

    Hopefully very soon I will have a SD, but I’ve decided to be more relaxed in my search.

    Sigh.

    Sizzler very eloquent words…

    Lisa usually I ignore you, and I’m all about the sugar, but sometimes sugar coating is a bit tart. So now all I can do is laugh when you get on the soap box. I made a reference to this earlier, “politics,” which includes your mode of thinking, has it’s place in a FOX News forum or something of that ilk, more so than on a blog about sugar babies. A bit hypocritical might I add, as most who prescribe to your way of thinking would be aghast at your being a “sugar baby.”

  636. lisa says:

    No thanks sizzler as I would rather remain in the dark ages. What people do is their own business but when they start sucking on the tax payers which most single mothers do then it becomes my business.
    I’ve got to go now, It’s time for me to go hug the serial killers.

  637. sizzler says:

    Lisa – your judgemental attitude is simply breathtaking. I don’t often join the blog nor do i feel it my place to pronounce judgement on other’s opinions but I can’t help but feel that your opinions belong in the dark ages. It is thinking like yours – feeble, harsh and usually hypocritical in the exterme that was behind much of the exploitatopn and abuse of young unmarried mothers in places like Ireland up until the 70s.

    Might I suggest that you develop a more rounded and humanistic approach to your fellow female colleagues, who are only human afterall.

  638. lisa says:

    RealisticSD I have to agree with you 100% as many women who have children out out wedlock keep having more. If I were a SD I would avoid them, I would however consider a mother who was divorced or widowed. One can’t compare this to a man having an extramarital affair and I would think that a man who was married would be more concerned about getting involved with someone irresponsible as they wouldn’t want to get trapped into a situation with some young woman looking for 18 years of child support.

  639. SF SD says:

    Does anyone else think that Grey’s Anatomy has jumped the shark?

  640. KittyBabe says:

    HI Mercy !
    I think thats exactly what happened! but I don’t do test drives! thanxs for the support! things do happen for a reason!

  641. anababy*327719* says:

    Hey everyone! Someone must have been listening to my complaining bc over the past two days I have seen in a sugar surge :) And I have a date with a pot. tonight :) So for the blog answers….

    Do any of you do non-cash arrangements such a direct bill pay or gift certificate options? Is this looked at by SD’s as more time consuming and unfavorable as cash is just easier?

    *My first SD did everything this way. I had incurred alot of debt and he paid each one off one by one which in the long run has served me better. I wanted to spend my money on frivolous things and he really taught me the value of good credit :) These days, I’d prefer the cash bc I’m smarter and wiser then I was two years ago.

    On average, do must sugar relationships last only 3 months?

    *I have no idea. I’ve had two, the first lasted 2 years, the second 7 months. I think it all depends on what you are looking for.

    Should you only date one sugar at a time, is this something that is usually discussed with a sugar or only if asked?

    *I prefer one at a time. I’m so busy with school and work I just don’t have the time to juggle SD’s.

    xoxo

  642. AtlNicole*389079* says:

    Happy Saturday Sugars! Very hungover from last night, but it was fun.
    My SD has his kids this weekend, so no Sugar for me. I have midterms this week anyway, so it actually works out pretty well. Now if only all this fog would get out of my head to I can concentrate…

  643. VillaCypris *276489* says:

    Hey ginaZ !

    How’s school going?

  644. ginaZ says:

    Hey Lady

    Mz Kit-Kat 😉

    Thanks for the shout out BTW, and the support regarding being a mom. Yes judgment is a funny thing as it always comes back to the person doing the judging. One may not know all the facts, and one can wonder equally is the pot SD handling his own business at home. Or, will he be careless about his own responsibilities?

    RealisticSD I get what your saying, but there are no hard and fast rules in sugar. Would I judge you because you are seeking out an extra marital affair? Honestly this is the first time I’ve ever had anyone have a problem, maybe because they have a pretty strong sense of my reality. My child is out of the picture with regards to sugar, never the twain shall meet. (But I do find it ironic that it’s the married SB’s who come outright and say that they are looking for a SD to help send their children to private school and so forth) Whereas I am NOT looking for anyone to help support my child, but rather to help me start a business or assist with tuition costs and such.

    I met one pot SD where ALL his relationships seem to be with SB’s. The eternal SD bachelor. Turns out he has a child with a SB (not planned) the gals first. So one may never know how or why, no rhyme no reason here. I’d be the last person poking holes through condoms!

  645. VillaCypris *276489* says:

    hey BG! thanks, i got it :)

    kit kat – minneapolis/st paul is probably one the most “biker friendly” metropolises in the country. there are bike lanes on most streets, even downtown, and a myriad of trails around the lakes and parks.

    last week, for example, i drove 50 miles south to red wing, and we did a 90 mile ride thru the bluff country and then across the river to wisconsin, and rode up that side for about 25 miles. beautiful country.

    when i lived in palm beach, i NEVER went biking, except maybe from one end of the island to the other, but never across the bridge into west palm. not biker friendly at all, pretty dangerous, in fact.

    walking is one of the best exercises! you could do that :)

  646. Sweety SB~ AKA BG says:

    KitKat~ i’m good , the sun is out! so i’m gonna take advantage of it!
    see you all later sugars

  647. hey Sweety umm ok I suppose! and you my dear??

  648. Realistic what are you saying the SB’s you come across don’t want to take birth control responsiably? that to me says those are the wrong Pot sb’s, I for one won’t feel bad or looked down upon because the Pot’s you are screening are Asking you for baby clothes and Pampers, THATS NOT YOUR JOB!! and if you come across some like that I would let them know just like that, Your Relationship is with the mom. and Your allowance should provide that She knows how to handle her home*mommy*buisness!
    Also there are many many diffrent choices of prevenentive contraception rather then Hysterectomys and oral contraceptives. I would suggest you get more familiar with that!. And the pill or any oral contracepction you are not physically adminstratining your self. you just have to trust her!
    me I do not like pills., iud’s they will only place one AFTER youve had a sessceful pregnancy they really dont do tubilagations/cauterizations because the risk of infections . there is a new procedure called Assure.
    and still with all that there is still a small window of time when you still can have a pregnacy*may be etopic* but it can happen

    best way to go is Get a Vascetomy and use a condom! assuming all the SB you run across are untrustworthy!
    classic case of pot and a kettel.. *SugaCnbabyisim*
    I would like to add its not Right to judge anybody for anything, all you can do is try to ensure you are not caught in the Very thing you talk down about! no one is perfect but I think it funny how some moral condemnation comes across when essentially Shopping for an Extramarrital affair!

    Gina I do not talk about my children because 1 people like to Judge you
    and 2 I have my priorties straight about them. I am a proud parent just as you are, this would be one of the Rare times I even bring them up

  649. Sweety SB~ AKA BG says:

    Realistic SD~ Thanks… I thought that someone that had this type relationship before was good too,,, but only a select few have said at last someone understands! I won’t give up, I’m something will happen at some point. Think it’s mostly my location….
    Cash is the Best and oh yeah Gifts too!!!

    Her VC~ have fun, and you got mail! :)

    KitKat~ morning Girl! how are you?

  650. villa,
    yes I could but, where do you ride to ? the way people drive scares me, not making excuses but the transit busses have hit 2 bikers this year! I am leary around here

  651. VillaCypris *276489* says:

    Hi RealisticSD

    I agree. Cash is best.

  652. VillaCypris *276489* says:

    morning Kit Kat!

    yeah, surprisingly enough no sore tush after that. sunday the 13th i did 122 miles, to beat the personal record i set in 1989. that was a LONG time to be sitting on a bike. today, just an easy 2 hour ride.

    you can do it! start small and build up gradually….

  653. RealisticSD says:

    My recommendation would have to be cash, cash cash. Gifts are fine too in addition to the cash.

  654. Marcy
    hello lady Way to stick to your guns, Shoes and an outfit isnt a marriage proposal in the u.s.a is it??
    anyway keep your head up and be patient the right one will come around,
    Gina
    YO, whats happening lady hope you take your head out of the books to say hello to us, and 10:30pm what was he a vampire? you were good to tell him no!, but you Know that… you just keep the Garlic near by mamma! lol

    James: hey there hope all is well with you

    Villa :Goodmorning and 90miles you gonna get a sore tucsh riding all that way, but I must Say you go girl that is wonderful you can do that I am trying to get myself back together!

  655. RealisticSD says:

    SweetySB says, “It seems that some won’t even look my way because I’ve had a SB/SD relattionship before.” But in some ways I would prefer someone who has had an SD before–a real one that lasted some time, as that shows that they understand the relationship and the dynamics. Of the SBs I’ve met here, only one had (or admitted to having) a real SB/SD relationship before and it was not a turn-off to me at all. The best might be to bring it up in person when they can put it in perspective of who you are.

    GinaZ says, “I mentioned I had a child and he got freaked out.” I think supporting a woman who needs to support her child makes for a great SB/SD relationship, because the woman is likely going to be more stable and practical in that situation. But when I’ve met women with children, I do get a little concerned about out-of-wedlock children, simply because it appears that girls with “unplanned” pregnancies have unplanned or unwise pregnancies again and again, and I certainly don’t want to risk that situation (I know, I will get myself in trouble by saying this). Granted that I will always use a condom with an SB, but as I’ve said before, they’re only 85% effective. The other 15% is up to her to take a pill the same time every day, and with many SBs I’ve met I have a hard time envisiniong them being responsible enough to do that. It appears uncommon to find SBs with other forms of contraception, e.g. an IUD or having had a hysterectomy, but I’ve come across both.

  656. VillaCypris *276489* says:

    Happy saturday, TLG.

    Pursuing other interests here… biking at 11am. thankfully not 90 miles like last saturday.

    Have a wonderful morning!

  657. AoifeUKSB *349207* says:

    Hi,

    can anybody tell me how to e-mail Stephan(Moderator). Just need to make an enquiry. XX

  658. The Lone Gunman says:

    Happy Sugar Saturday!</b?

    Are you spending the weekend getting your Sugar on–or pursuing other interests?

    TLG

  659. RainyStreet says:

    Maybe he won’t be too busy too squeeze me in soon :)

  660. RainyStreet says:

    some of these SD’s take so much patience! This is definitely a life leson for me!

  661. ginaZ says:

    Oh my pardon my manners. Welcome Lalita!

  662. ginaZ says:

    Popped in…

    Busy with school and it will get crazy busy soon.

    Pot SD (the one I’ve been trying to meet up with for 3 weeks) wants to meet tonight but it’s 10:30 p.m, so I said no.

    OK so I’m feeling a bit dejected by the process. Maybe to by some of this conversation about defining what someone is “worth” and writing it down on a piece of paper.

    So am I worth more than the current $1.7 trillion deficit in the U.S, well yeah, but I wouldn’t trade my freedom for all the money in the world. But hey that’s me, or at least it is me now.

    Maybe the recent conversation with another pot SD who asked me if I was looking to get “compensated.” He said maybe we’ll meet and I’ll give him a massage. I mentioned I had a child and he got freaked out. I sensed he liked his women a few notches down on the IQ meter so we both agreed, no chemistry.

    ____________________________________________________

    Do any of you do non-cash arrangements such a direct bill pay or gift certificate options? Is this looked at by SD’s as more time consuming and unfavorable as cash is just easier?

    Cash and carry. No paper trail. Bank deposit I can see happening but only if you trust the other person. Although if it is an amount over $2000, it is reported, so what then?
    If the SD is married that’s tricker, if he is single it’s easier to manage.

    On average, do must sugar relationships last only 3 months?

    3/6/9 on average, I think fewer arrangements last in the 2 year range, but it happens.
    The longest for me is 10 months (so far)

    Should you only date one sugar at a time, is this something that is usually discussed with a sugar or only if asked?”

    As a SB I prefer ONE SD! I understand if the SD is married his relationship is the primary one, but I always find a SD a bit of a player if he juggles multiple SB’s. I did meet up with a nice SD (not married), no chemistry. He had a main SB, but he was looking for a stand in, or a PT SB. So I suppose yes that could work as long as everyone is upfront.

  663. SugaCaneBby says:

    “Do any of you do non-cash arrangements such a direct bill pay or gift certificate options? Is this looked at by SD’s as more time consuming and unfavorable as cash is just easier?

    – A non-cash arrangement would work for certain things, but I’d rather have cash because I can’t pay bills with gift cards.

    On average, do must sugar relationships last only 3 months?

    – I would hope not. That’s barely getting started considering how often it sounds some get to spend time with their sugar. 6-12 months would be a more likely average, if I had to guess.

    Should you only date one sugar at a time, is this something that is usually discused with a sugar or only if asked?”

    – I would only want one SD at a time as anymore would be too much pressure. There are some things that I believe should be communicated up front such as anything that would complicate the arrangement, but after that it’s on a need-to-know basis in my book.

  664. Sweety SB~ AKA BG says:

    James~I totally agree that some men are here to see if they can buy the SBs….
    I think that it’s easier for men to find SBs, because there are more SBs to choose from. Am I right?
    It seems that some won’t even look my way because I’ve had a SB/SD relattionship before… I’m just curious, but then again I do live where there aren’t lots of SDs so…. and the rest seem i’m too far lol
    Marcy Welcome Girl!!!

  665. Marcy says:

    Thank you Sweety SB! I’m so glad I found this site!!

  666. Sweety SB~ AKA BG says:

    Marcy~I don’t think it’s the normal SD date, but you did the right thing. There are a lot of guy that are like that, that is why the process is so long! i’m sure you will find you man soon

  667. Marcy says:

    Hello James! Hello Realistic!

    Thank you for your replies. I really appreciate it.

    During our dinner date, prior to the shopping, we talked about our expectations. I let him know I was basically looking for a real, serious relationship with a successful man. He told me he is looking for love and a to be married within the next year or two. That is why I thought we were on the same page. So, when he took me shopping after, I thought it was a good faith, chemistry, magic thing! lol, WRONG!

    It seems as soon as it was apparent that sex on the first date was not going to happen, he decided neither was a real relationship/marriage.

    And James, no we didn’t go shopping at Cartier, lol. Just bought an outfit and shoes he wanted me to wear that night to go out dancing. Wow, right, ha.

  668. Sweety SB~ AKA BG says:

    RealisticSD~ i never thought of an SD having more than one SB would be because things aren’t perfect and it could be a bad sign for the arrangement.
    I only had one SD, and he only had one of me! so …. It would be hard to have more than 1 SD i think

  669. RealisticSD says:

    KittyBabe, it’s hard to know why he had second thoughts. Once I went on a date with an SB and it went awesome and she was really great and she knew I liked her, but once I left there were just little things that bothered me so in response to her texts / inquiries about my sudden drop in interest, I told her that I was just having second thoughts about the whole sugar-dating thing. But true, he could have been a poser as well.

    Marcy, I don’t think there is a “normal” here per se. I think the idea of expecting sex because of a shopping trip is kind of gross to me, although stories similar to yours are not rare. I tend to want things to develop and build trust and enjoy supporting the SB for some time before I want to sleep with her, but admittedly I am not the norm either.

  670. James says:

    Hi guys! My two cents on some of above

    3 months would be an unsuccessful relationship to me, the transaction “cost” in terms of time alone is too high for that fast a turnover, and even at once/week you’ve barely gotten to know each other after 3 months

    my arrangements have lasted as long as four years, with an average between one and two years (sometimes they overlap)

    they have tended to end when the SB’s circumstances change or goals are reached

    cash only — call it the “Universal Gift Certificate”

    Marcy, that’s kind of weird, unless he took you shopping at Cartier’s — he may have sensed your uncertainty and thought he could corner you into doing something you didn’t expect — in my experience, there is a substantial class of SD wannabes who get more of a thrill out of trying to take advantage of women financially than they do from actually being with them — it’s a peculiar kind of passive/aggressive behavior, and it’s inherently disrespectful — as if they’re trying to prove to themselves how cheaply a woman can be bought — or how dependent on a man she can be — try to be as clear as possible upfront about your expectations, and remember you are never obligated to do anything in exchange for a gift you didn’t ask for

    good night guys

  671. RealisticSD says:

    Flo Rida, I don’t like using the “fake test” but have only done it because I am not sure how to weed out pros. I’d hate to find out my SB is an escort. But my test, admittedly, doesn’t work well anyways, so I am no longer sure what purpose it serves. I guess honesty is the best policy. If you’re OK with a one-night stand in a hotel room for an agreed sum of money, say so, and if you’re not, then it’s OK to state that you’re not interested in that kind of relationship.

    Delia DeLyon, being sporadic is a difficult quality to understand especially when the individual in question seems interested in person. It could be that they suffer “out of sight out of mind” syndrome, that they have some doubts even though they like someone, that they are really busy, that they have other SBs/SDs, etc.

    NJLady, my profile says “Open/amount negotiable” but I have an amount in mind. I like Flo Rida’s approach to some extent because it is very honest and up-front. But the best strategy to hook me personally would be to say, “Well, my rent is x and my tuition is y and my bills are z and I have $20 in my bank account right now,” so that’s why I need xyz a month. The problem is that when I first meet someone, it is harder to commit to a very high amount until I know them better and know that the arrangement can and will work, at which point I would give them everything they need and more. But, as Flo Rida said, if it’s in person and I’m totally infatuated, then I might agree to just about anything they put on the piece of paper if it’s brought up tactfully.

    AltNicole, I have gone back and forth on the lump sum vs. weekly payment. I give the girl something the first time I see her, and after that it depends on the arrangement. At first weekly works well because I am not sure if it will last. But once things are more steady, I think the SD should just give the payment at the beginning of the month and leave it up the SB to keep up her end of the deal. But there are pluses and minuses both ways. It sucks to have an SB you like who takes the money and disappears for a while, only to come back when she runs out, asking for more money and offering all sorts of lame excuses for her inattention to her end of the bargain.

    OC, I think cash is the way to go, even though cash makes things appear escortish. Remember that the ex-governor of NY got caught wiring money.

    As to whether one should date one sugar at a time, I’d strongly prefer that but it’s also up to the SB to show that she is loyal and that she is not just in it for a week or two. Mostly, when I have been with more than one SB at a time, it’s been because my preferred SB doesn’t devote enough time to me so I get bored and start “cheating” on her. But I don’t get the feeling SBs care if there are other SBs, even though they should because when there are other SBs it’s because things aren’t perfect and it could be a bad sign for the arrangement.

  672. Marcy says:

    Hey Kitty!

    Seems like he wanted to get a “sample” before he took off on his plane and when that didn’t happen he disappeared! Don’t worry about it, things happen for a reason! You’ll find a good man. =)

  673. Marcy says:

    And hi Lalita! Good to know that I’m not the only newbie!

    We can learn the process together! =)

  674. Marcy says:

    Hi everyone!

    I just noticed that people actually chat and give each other advice on here!

    I would like your opinions, please.

    I met a man and he suggested we go shopping for our first date. I said sure! We go and he picks out some things for himself and some things for me. I thank him. At the close of the date, he wants to have sex. I said, “No.” I do not have sex on the first date. He says he took me shopping. I said it was his idea. He gets upset. I told him he could keep and return the things he bought for me. And we go our seperate ways.

    Is this normal??? I need some advice.

    Thanks to all!

  675. Kitty
    thats a Spoofer!! more then likley!

  676. KittyBabe says:

    Hi Sugar Family !
    I read the blog before but this is the first time I actually post something.
    I Love the site, but havnt had any luck with the guys Ive met sp far. maybe Im doing or saying something wrong? -HELP!-
    here’s the thing,….I met this guy 2 weeks ago and everything felt perfect, we had chemestry, things in common, easy to talk to…etc. the problem was he was flying back home the next day so we coudnt really plan much. Although he was leaving and we couldnt spend time together he asked me to email him my info so he could transfer money to my account. He said that he wanted to help me no matter what. next week goes by and he completly ignored my emails. He even took me out of he’s F.B!!!!was he a wanna be???

  677. Olivia says:

    Hi Lalita!

    I feel the jitters quite often! Just know what you want and how you demand to be treated- I don’t compromise on the topic of respect.

    Welcome!!!

  678. hello Sincere havent seen you latley I hope everything is going well
    SincereSD says
    Also there are certain benefits you get with a longer term trusting partner that I won’t mention here as I know it is a controversial topic

    kit kat says: I so agree, but I am finding it so hard to find a pot who is wanting a person who is in search of a long term arrangment, I stated in a eariler post of mine who has the patience to juggle people like that . I want one primo SD and that would be it.

  679. Lalita36376813 says:

    Heh thanks for the welcome girls–and the heads up–at least some of my “first time”-lol–jitters are leaving–I’ll continue to read the blogs–find them really interesting—

  680. SincereSD says:

    “Do any of you do non-cash arrangements such a direct bill pay or gift certificate options?

    Because most of SB I’ve been with have below average credit or outstanding loans and bank balances tend to be garnished. Therefore, I typically give cash despite the awkwardness of handling large amounts of money and it feeling escort-ish in nature. I have also done direct payment of bills, rent, shopping or prepaid credit cards. Based on personal experience, I prefer to give my SB a lump sum of money because there are no ambiguities wrt what is guaranteed and what are gifts. I’ve had bad experiences in the past where an ungrateful SB accused me of being cheap despite providing almost twice what she asked for.

    The vehicles that tend not to work are:
    * paypal – as they take 4% for transaction cost and funds are slow to transfer (4-7 days?)
    * cheques – banks will want to hold the funds until they clear; Moneymart will ask 10000 questions and won’t process larger personal cheques.

    On average, do most sugar relationships last only 3 months?

    I prefer my sugar relationships to be much longer term as the upfront time and cost of starting a relationship are fairly high. That’s why I invest time upfront to ensure there’s chemistry, fit and respect … but as always, be on full alert with the bs filter. However after 2-3 months, some of the allure and excitement can start to wear off if the fundamentals of the relationship are weak.

    Should you only date one sugar at a time, is this something that is usually discused with a sugar or only if asked?”

    From my perspective, I’m a free agent until I get into a confirmed relationship. Most SB I’ve talked to naturally assume a SD will be involved with several woman. I have to set the record straight and state for the record that I neither have the time, energy or funds to support multiple partners. Also there are certain benefits you get with a longer term trusting partner that I won’t mention here as I know it is a controversial topic

  681. AtlNicole*389079* says:

    Welcome Lalalita! I still get jitters before I meet a potential SD. Not the really scary kind, but the normal first date kind, where you wonder if he will like you and can’t decide what to wear. It takes me forever to pick out an outfit, and I will usually end up changing my mind at the last minute anyway. But it is all fun.

    You do have to be prepared for rejection, because SBs are outnumbered on here. Plus, you may have to do some rejecting of your own. But as long as you take your time getting to know each other, it is very similar to dating anyone.

  682. oh yes welcome to the blog!!

  683. Lalita
    the ***** peoplemeet place……. mine gets hits like every 15 min its crazy/ but then I wonder who the Wankstas are over there! dont worry, there are plenty of great guys over here and they tend to be a little better behaved too.! there are a few brownsugardaddys over here keep being patient

  684. Hi everyone–I’m a newbie–I’ve belonged to online dating sites before and tried a few recently but did not put much effort in contacting anyone–life just kept getting in the way and I didnt like the profiles much–also sooo many younger guys-I always seem to attract them. I did meet my last two boyfriends through online dating and the last through that “popular social networking site for music artists that starts with an M–but neither worked out primarily for the long distance problems and I tried to partner with someone in the music industry and that time “younger man” just did not work out for me–wayy too immature. But since joining this site I had not noticed how reclusive I’ve become and how I have hidden myself away with “mommy” duties also and working on my music. I get a bit of profile views but no contacts yet but also I find myself kind of lost on this sort of site, dont really know what to expect on here, dont know what the men “really” want, dont see many men of color–not that it matters to me–I have no preference, but makes me wonder about the ratio of wealthy men actually seeking sistas of color in this mix? And oooooh I’ve become anxious about dating again because I am on other sites similar to this and my profile is getting blown up but I was sooooo suffering an anxiety attack a few days ago after I thought about starting all over again and also how to start a SD/SB relationship when it does actually happens. I’ve always fantasized about the handsome SD sweeping me off my feet with flowers and candy and shopping trips and taking care of me(because he adored me of course in my fantasy-lol), and now that I am on here I am totally nervous and freaked out about it all. People think that because of the way I look that I am arrogant and confident,not so–jumping back in the game after years of solitude still renders the same effect no matter who you are or what you were. Anyone else had or have these newbie jitters? I hope my profile does not reflect this. And thanks to all who post, I find your comments and relaying of experiences very helpful.

  685. Flo I said that because you were sounding like , you were doubting yourself Worth, you know so much about the culture it is intresting to read your post!
    oops sorry about the weight misunderstanding, cuz I will come up there with my purse!!!
    Yall just think of me as one of those 1950’s brazzires Iam here for support!!

    *brain bleach is avaialable to those who need it* lol Gemi?? or was that Oc?

  686. Flo Rida says:

    Kit-Kat – Actually it’s me who jokes about going to the gym I measure my weight in 2lb increments and feel the need to take 2lbs off everytime I put it on. He just picks up on the jokes – he’s not being mean. If you go to clubs in NY there are lots of models hurling in the restrooms to keep weight down – I don’t hurl and I do eat a lot – I just work out a lot. i’d love a gym pal but I can’t tell you which city i’m in or when I can work out.
    Olivia – I get worn down I thought I was insatiable but he’s way beyond me, I’m not struggling with my identity the non-stop action is very tiring. He works very hard as well so I get lots of downtime (but in that downtime i’m recovering) if you’re up to 4-6am on a regular basis wears me down. I’m a food expert so good with the restaurants. in terms of clubs he likes Marquee, I can’t tell you the smaller club names as I don’t want too much personal info leaking. If you want to chat offline atllgw @ g place. anyone else can email me there as well.
    OCSugarbaby et al – I know I’m paying a price and frankly if I left him he could find another model in a heartbeat. He is amazing – his friend Kim (name changed) stayed with us and he went shopping and spent $30k on clothes for me and him and then he says to Kim – hey we’re not paying enough attention to you take my credit card and buy anything you want. Kim is just an old friend-who behaves like that? He’ll take 20 family members plus friends to dinner and cover the bill himself – he buys his cook a LV handbag – if someone insults me at a club, he’ll defend me without thinking of how big the guy is and he’s little (his entourage would kill for him) i’ve never been on a helicopter before, i’ve been on two private planes in my life before, i’ve been to SNL front seats, I went to the MJ remembrance concert, I’ve been to countries I didn’t even know existed – he does some amazing things for me which I can’t say here, the list just keeps on going. He’s special.
    AtlNicole – giving some1 your bank routing # & account# is harmless.

    • OCSugarbaby says:

      Flo: I never doubted for a second that you were treated anything less than a princess. As it should be. You are right about the banking info being harmless. Trust me I would never do anything to harm myself! 😉

  687. VillaCypris *276489* says:

    Well, thanks to all for the “warm welcome back”! :)

    I’m heading off to an alumnae reception/cocktail party… it’s the 400th anniversary of the order of nuns which founded the all girls’ catholic high school I attended…. don’t say — that explains a lot!!! 😉

    In fact, I was just remembering, my 10th grade religion teacher used to look at us over her glasses, with a supercilious air, and say, “Now girls, always remember, NEVER let the boys CROSS THAT RED LINE”.

    The “red line” could apply to the sugar world as well! 😀

    be back later. ciao ciao. xx

  688. yes tis a pity!! for sure SFSD
    how are things going over there for you anyway?

  689. SF SD says:

    K-K,

    Too bad we can’t talk to the time lady any more. :-) The ultimate in discretion.

  690. SFSD your on point today did you find your med’s?

  691. ATL is he a podiatrist? ya know us width gals like them!! lol

  692. SF SD says:

    AltNicole,

    Open a separate account to receive cash payments — possibly at a bank with a branch in his area, or an online Bank like ING, to which he could transfer electronically.

    Taking the “glass-half-full” point of view, it may be that he prefers smaller payments to keep the flow of cash discreet. Make sure the schedule is well understood and don’t accept any excuses for late payments.

  693. NJLady says:

    Villa…He’s been deleted, thanks.

  694. SFSD i just wanted to remind you guys that some of us SB’s are already of a Discreet mindset, i may very well get a phone stalker and that will be fine he will have lots of company with the Dialtone and the beep!

  695. SF SD says:

    Villa! Nice to “see” you again. Summer was great, and I’m planning to make the best of a summery October before the rains arrive.

    Kit-Kat I read your comment about email addresses. No worries, dear. I was thinking more about the messages that read, “Hi! Look like my type. Email me at ….” [end of message] I feel no obligation to reply to these types of messages. In fact, when I do, I find that about half the time my replies are not even read.

    Delia Yes, I think it’s possible meet a sugar that you love and care about, especially if the arrangement goes on for a long time. For me there’s always some kind of connection, and I wouldn’t choose an SB that I didn’t think I could at least be friends with. As a married SD, there is still a boundary to maintain. If you’re both single, and open to the possibility, an arrangement might evolve into something more. Be careful, though. Remember the two of you started because of the “mutually beneficial” part, and you’re going to have to sort through that. If traditional dating has been a disaster, sugar dating could give you the opportunity to deliberately choose men you wouldn’t ordinarily go out with. Also, you’re right there are a group guys who hit up the newbies, hoping to find one they can take advance of, or get some perverse pleasure from insulting. Happens on every site, I’m afraid. You are wise to be patient.

    Flo Rida Your ‘silly tests’ comment reminds me of the Seinfeld episode where George’s prospective gf has him take an IQ test, and he gets so nervous that he hands it out the window for Elane to complete. Humor aside, being evaluated by some screwball criteria is bad enough at work, let alone here.

    still looking Villa made some excellent comments about being careful. I would summarize two basic rules as: fit your sugar activities into your regular pattern of behavior, and bring nothing home. Think through these in all their ramifications and you are well on your way. Also, google the author “H Cameron Barnes” If you can obtain a copy of his book discreetly, you have passed the first test.

    NYC SB Someday I envision a blog field trip to visit your glass case.

    On to the questions….

    “Do any of you do non-cash arrangements such a direct bill pay or gift certificate options? Is this looked at by SD’s as more time consuming and unfavorable as cash is just easier?

    In general, I prefer cash and try to avoid anything that would leave a paper trail. Bank deposits can work pretty well. Sometimes I’ve agreed to pay certain types of expenses, like tuition, directly. Of course, this still leaves room for gifts and special activities. A lot depends on what works in the context of the relationship.

    On average, do must sugar relationships last only 3 months?

    Hmmm….. “on average” is not the same as “most.” I guess the question is, “Are sugar relationships typically long or short?” All of my arrangements have been longer than three months, and one lasted nearly two years. Given the time it takes to meet a new sugar, make a connection, and build trust and intimacy, it’s hard to see the point of a three-month arrangement. The exception might a specific arrangement for travel or a special event.

    Should you only date one sugar at a time, is this something that is usually discussed with a sugar or only if asked?”

    Hmmm, again. “Should” is kind of a loaded word. Personally, I could not handle more than one SB. And in most circumstances I would not expect an SB to artificially constrain her social life, as long as she makes time for me. I would want us to be open with each other about our expectations (without providing TMI), and I would expect my SB do conduct herself in a way that would not put either of us at risk. In general, I think exclusive arrangements are rare and, regardless of the amount of money involved, require a great degree of personal knowledge and mutual trust.

  696. OC A gem in deed well finally a bank transaction I cant get my mind around!! lol and my dear what did you Expect him to be your a gem too!!

  697. Atl I mean no harm EVER but I just want everybody to see We all are Salt and pepper!!
    everything has a price! not always monetary!

  698. hey guys Lannie is having a Wonderful time she says she got a nice arrival gift and that she cannot contact us while she is on “the clock”
    in a lovely room !!

  699. AtlNicole*389079* says:

    Now I feel the urge to google myself and see if there is anything incriminating out there….Done. How cool, it shows that I made the merit list at school. At least it backs up that part of my story. I have a very unique name, and was surprised to find that I share it with two other people in the US. Who knew?

  700. AtlNicole*389079* says:

    Kit Kat is once again keeping it real on the blog.

    OC- My *brand spankin new* SD has requested to give me smaller cash payments a few times a month. I agreed, mostly cuz I don’t want any strange looks at the bank. I am not sure how long it would take for me to be comfortable giving him my acct info so that he could wire it to me. I am not sure what kind of trouble he could cause with just a nameand acct #, but it is best to be safe. I did a google search on him, and it all came back to support what he has told me so far. Being a doc, all I really see info on is his practice.

  701. Flo I was referring to the post on you needing to go to the gym, which is rubbish!!

  702. Walk into a branch .. gee I need a soda so I can think and type straight!!

  703. NJLady says:

    Thank you NYC SB, and Flo Rida I wrote down what you said. I felt uncomfortable saying my amount over IM. I even suggested to him, why don’t we wait until we meet, to see if we have chemistry, before dicussing that. I think that is how the spider get’s his flies. Thanks agian for the help and support, I was beginning to think maybe it was me.

  704. OC he had someone walk a branch and directly deposit it to your account called a counter credit if its all cash which is porbabaly just what happened! good on ya girl!!

    • OCSugarbaby says:

      Kat: No he set it up as an automatic pay. He traveled far too much for it to be taken to the branch to be deposited, and no one knew about us. I never asked but he did tell me that he set it up as a monthly deposit. When we parted he changed the amount to a lovely 3x’s the monthly amount. He was a gem!

  705. Flo seems you are paying a steep price by being kept! your post are sorta Contradicting yourself too!
    you could very well tell that SD you have to piss off !
    and hunny you got the Where-with-all to do this with you just dont want to. Dare I say you have gotten spoiled… Which is Perfectly FINE I might be as well, but like I say make sure your Ducks are lined up! your DO ME attitude will one day surface !! and ol’Soundscan will choke on his steak when you tell him he is dismissed lol!!

    • OCSugarbaby says:

      Flo’s SD sounds like he is a very caring person. I am sure she wouldn’t continue if he was any less than that. 😉

  706. Olivia says:

    Flo Rida- I actually really enjoy Per Se- not the absolutely best, but it’s still good. I have some wonderful recommendations, if you ever need or want them! Restaurants, lounges, bars, clubs, etc.

    Do you ever feel a little ovewhelmed by your SD? like you don’t really have a chance to “do you?” This isn’t an accusation or assumption- I am genuinely curious.

  707. AtlNicole*389079* says:

    Hello Sugars. Happy Friday to all. I have some old girlfriends in town for the weekend to we are gonna enjoy ourselves tonight.

    I have a related question to the blog topic. SBs, if you have set up an allowance for a set amt, do you prefer to recieve it all at once or split up throughout the month? SDs can chime in as well. of course. Always love to hear from you :)

    • OCSugarbaby says:

      AtlNicole: My allowance was wired directly to my bank account on the 1st of every month and it was for the full amount. It was heavenly to know that we never had to speak about it again and could concentrate on our relationship. It was a sizeable amount and it just said “deposit” on my online statement. I have no ideas as to how he did it. No name or account number was associated with the transaction.

  708. Flo I been looking for a gym buddy
    lol but as far as the rest of that sounds like a pet he pulls out for show!, like I said If you have your ducks lined up take control and get your self all Squared away honey!
    he dosent and wont have you by the purse strings once you and the Purse are Rite side up!
    this is something that you can Remminisce on once you tell him to beat it!
    umm think of it like this You are going to the ritzy places already keep going!! this way you may know where your next SD is .

  709. VillaCypris *276489* says:

    Flo Rida –

    not being “in control” of your own life, especially of such basic functions as eating and sleeping is a less-than-ideal situation, to put it mildly.

    NJLady – hope you “deleted” that contact.

    Per Se sounds fantastic! I’d love to try that someday 😀

  710. Flo Rida says:

    SD knows chef at Blue Fin so he always makes a big show and gives us special treatment – it’s tiny so I feel that i’m royalty. Let me know what you think of the others, Masa (not Masa Bar) is obscenely expensive $1,500 for the two of us. Must dash.

    Lannie – tell me if you feel the same way it would be good to share?

    All – I don’t want to come over as a spoiled princess, I’m absolutely not spoiled (well just a little) please forgive me.

  711. Flo Rida says:

    sorry small edit – the above is different from a price just to hang out – hell i’d hang out for free if I like the guy.

  712. NYC SB says:

    Flo Rida – Im going to Per Se monday :) been there before… i love it to no end… sure its over rated but the food is yummy and 9 course meal is something i rarely get to experience…

    blue fin i hate… $18 for a spicy tuna roll… ugh

    Masa,Le Benardin, Gramercy Tavern – will have to check them out

    Peter Luger – this is not in manhattan… so im reluctant to venture out

  713. NYC SB says:

    Now NJ Lady you know fully well that $200 barely pays a dinner for 2 in nyc… you are right this is a bit ludacris especially since you will be driving 4 hours total to meet the man…

  714. Flo Rida says:

    NJ Lady – Here is my approach. I in person write on a piece of paper the number I think I’m worth and show it to him and turn it over. I then say ‘I have a business degree (I don’t, white lie), I have done enough market research (I haven’t), I receive enough enqui