8 years ago
Seeking a GFE or BFE?

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Are you a sugar daddy or mama looking for a girlfriend experience (GFE) or boyfriend experience (BFE)?

Many sugars  have been asking what it means when a potential sugar states they’re looking for a “GFE” or “BFE” in their profile.

A GFE or BFE is a type of relationship/date that involves many of the positive emotional and intimate benefits of traditional relationships, within the context of a mutually beneficial, no-strings-attached arrangement. In essence, these types of arrangements are meant to feel like ‘normal’ relationships, but not expected to be serious.

Ideally, Sugar Daddies or Sugar Mamas seeking a GFE or BFE will indicate the type of ‘experience’ they’re looking for in the “I Am Seeking” section of their profile. Ultimately, whether or not you’re comfortable mixing sugar with boyfriend/girlfriend anything – the chemistry must always come 1st.

Are you seeking a GFE or BFE? Why or why not?


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626 Responses to “Seeking a GFE or BFE?”

  1. Dee says:

    I prefer no GFE/BFE. My last SD and I had that and real feelings developed. Needless to say we both had our hearts broken when we realized we’re just at different places in life right now and that the emotions were too strong and interfering with the arrangement. So I wouldn’t recommend it.

  2. Megan says:

    GFE, BFE…same thing girls

  3. Megan says:

    OH, and if you are even on this site and meeting someone that you want to continue meeting …BFE isnt even an option plus more…ladies! Get your stuff together! OK I am out! poof *** 😉

  4. Megan says:

    R U GIRLS KIDDING? Seriously?! You all sound like a bunch of bitter fools! Life is good! I boat, kayak, run, do charity work every week, am a doctor…if you meet someone on your level, go for it…it you are looking for someone to take care of you, well….you are always replaceable. Here are my suggestions…
    1. If you are a prize, you can land a prize. Make yourself the best YOU out there.
    2. If you are that insecure and talking about some ‘guy that got away’, reword it as ‘Thank God It didnt work OUT!’
    3. Dont bet on the prince! Yes, I just said that cinderella…..Know that you can make your own future, prize and dreams come true and if the hottie comes along that can handle you in his life ( and bed) , well….there’s your sign and if not, its His Loss!! 😉 Good Luck girls! XOXOX

  5. Icarus says:

    As far as a BFE goes, I am open to offer it to a Sugar Momma without strings attached. Maybe I am just a Hippie that way 😀 But it is another aspect of the BFE I can offer. Knowing how to treat a woman may well be a lost art for some, and the most romantic experiences do not always happen in the bedroom.

    They do not even have to happen between lovers.

    I do not think “dropping trou” is the only way to provide the BFE. I am not ruling it out though if there is a “normal” progression to it.

  6. NYC SB says:

    hi ginaz – please keep in touch
    also… the pots wife calling… well like we said before thats just him being “impulsive” you had nothing to do with that… yes its upsetting but again not your fault

  7. ~OCSugarBaby~ says:

    Ouch! I think I just got knicked with that pocket knife… ~OC

  8. Gail says:

    It seems to me that everyone has many opinions as to what is true sugar. I equate it to whatever you choose it to be. It shouldn’t matter what it is to everyone else…just you alone : )

    So for those of you who share and seem to have it all together, plus a perfect idea for everyone else….keep it mind that is your opinion, and what matters is that the SB is safe, is happy, with what sugar they are receiving. To each its own….

    Free speech to all SDs and SBs…..Its our blog, even though we agree or disagree : ) Sugar World here we are!!!

    By the way I appreciate Nitemare and his thoughts…it gives us all a different perspective. He is honest in sharing that sugar may be different for everyone. And I do understand his sense of humor and twist in SB dating.

    Play nice everyone!!!! going back to lurk mode with Red Maru : )

  9. NitemareSD says:

    Have you been doing your homework? How many people have you contacted? Another benefit of meeting more than one is you won’t feel so much pressure about commiting and you’ll have perspective on comparing the pluses and minuses.

  10. NitemareSD says:

    Its like that guy that shot that other guy and next thing you know there is mustard gas all over and alota million people are dead.

  11. RedMaru says:

    Sowrry shall I bid a hasty retreat back into lurker shadow….lol

  12. NitemareSD says:

    There you were waving around your $61.87 bus ticket and all hell broke loose.

  13. RedMaru says:

    I’m sorry…..didn’t mean to.

  14. NitemareSD says:

    I think you started it. 😉

  15. RedMaru says:

    I turn my back for a few and always end up missing something…wha happened?

  16. NitemareSD says:

    GinaZ Says:

    July 16th, 2009 at 2:33 pm
    …. But the personal attack against my character, especially when my intentions are good, cross the line.

    And maybe that advice doesn’t encourage a SB to run off to someguy who will pay them $500 or $250 for a meetup for a few hours.

    Let me hibernate a bit and maybe I’ll be back.

    ====

    But you had no hesitation to personally attack me twice, nor launch a barrage of insults and nastiness towards me. Nor any trouble completely distorting and misrepresenting what I said to make it appear that I am telling people to go trick for a few bucks.

    You won’t be the first to play the “I’m Leaving” violin concerto nor the first to return.

  17. NYC SB says:

    wow they are quick to post a new blog with something said on this one couple of minutes ago

  18. NYC SB says:

    and the fact that the wife is in nyc and meeting place is somewhere in la… although that would be epic 😀

  19. DorkyGuy says:

    Gina, my impression is that he knew he was sticking you in the middle of it with his wife, because he knew which clues he had left lying around.

    If he calls again for a meetup, it would be poetic to call his wife and suggest she meet him there in your stead.

    I’m sure you’re too mature to do something like that though 😛

  20. GinaZ says:

    Oh…dorkyguy thanks your a sweetie!

  21. GinaZ says:

    Thanks Elle and OC that means a lot. I just feel like crap now, maybe it was the pot whose wife called me last night, that freaked me out! And then all the other pressures I’m under. But the personal attack against my character, especially when my intentions are good, cross the line. I should be able to help or give advice to the SB’s from the vantage point of life experience. I’m sorry to offend anyone, SD’s in particular, but my concern is always for the safety and well being of my fellow sugars. And maybe that advice doesn’t encourage a SB to run off to someguy who will pay them $500 or $250 for a meetup for a few hours.

    Let me hibernate a bit and maybe I’ll be back.

    Love GinaZ

  22. DorkyGuy says:

    *sigh* I like GinaZ’s posts. It’s a shame to lose a voice of sanity.

    If all the sane people leave, it’ll be just me and Stormcat left here chatting.

  23. NC Gent says:

    Definitely OCSB — I am definitely addicted to viewing profiles — for some reason, I find it to be very entertaining!

  24. elle says:

    GinaZ don’t leave the blog! You are one of my favourites – you’re always full of good advice and lots of fun :)

  25. ~OCSugarBaby~ says:

    NC are you SB cruisin? lol

  26. ~OCSugarBaby~ says:

    GinaZ: You will do NO such thing. Don’t be a sugar drop out! That would be silly. I am sure there are some who just hate my comments and skim past them and move on to the next one. I don’t get worked up with the less than positive comments. However when they get mean or personal I will voice my concern. Past experience has shown me that some battles are nothing more than my HOT air blow’n in the wind. L-E-T I-T G-O!

    You better stick around, positivity is rare and you my sugar sista bring a wonderful dose to the blog. ~OC

  27. NC Gent says:

    Anyone else having trouble with the search results? After I view 40 profiles, the next button is missing – just curious if it is me.

  28. GinaZ says:

    OC I concur, the dark sarcasm is negative and bad, but I don’t appreciate the darkness that is Nightmare and his long rant against me. That was bloody mean. I guess I was getting too comfy on the blog. But please everyone be careful with whom you meet. That goes for girls and guys. There is bad on both sides.

    Lisa… please trust your instincts, but remember to take a chance, your a beautiful woman who deserves love and tenderness and all good things.

    I will drop out of this blog, but I may email OC for a bit of friendly support now and again. NYCSB, I’d love to stay in touch as well.

    Be well sugars

  29. NYC SB says:

    nitemare – while you raise some valid points i think that it is important to keep in mind that any advice gina or myself give out to another SB reflects our own personal style… we are looking for a true SD rather than SomeGuy…

  30. ~OCSugarBaby~ says:

    I NEVER Yuck it up…

    NC, The girls I have given that advice to are NOT talking to an SD gentleman like yourself. 😉 Your SD situation is unique…

    Gina: Don’t get caught up in the dark scarcasm, it will drain you….

  31. GinaZ says:

    Girls and guys if I drop out for awhile from blogging here, you’ll have to thank Nightmare for that one. His rather dark energy doesn’t spread the cheer for me I don’t like hostile.

    “Rage rage against the dying of the light”

  32. NC Gent says:

    Hello all! Can’t we all just be friends! lol

    Ok — I hate to disagree with OCSB, but I had a per-visit agreement with a long-term SB. She actually liked it because she didn’t feel pressured to get together every month. It was a distance arrangement. Nonetheless, there were times were I helped her in a pinch… like for a car repair, etc. Every arrangement is different and it is a matter of trust and what works best for both parties :) Sorry OCSB – I still wuv you lol

  33. GinaZ says:

    Hey Nightmare it’s a joke. Grease the wheels, it’s semantics. Chill. Sometimes I can’t tell with you, ya know. Your sarcastic style I guess for me it’s off putting. But perhaps to someone else not. It’s a matter of taste. I’m not paranoid darling, far from it LOL. Now your getting mean. I have tremendous concern for others, and if you were to carefully read through my posts, goodness you could surmise that. I’m also protective of women in this context. but on the flip side, yeah I suppose I would read through your posts and it would seem that you my dear have an anger problem. So let’s call it even.

    Oh, I never said it’s one way. But as a woman there are inherent risks to ones body and safety, that is very different for a SB than a SD whose risk is more in the financial realm. Caution is good on both sides. Be smart.

    Let’s just ignore each other OK. I don’t like you, and you don’t like me.

    Peace and out.

  34. NitemareSD says:

    And about this stuff about not making multiple meetings on a trip on someone’s dime, if you are making it easy to meet by lessening the burden you put on SD#1, you are just helping the sugar flow. You are helping yourself by diversifying so that you almost certainly end the trip on the plus side, and without hurting anyone. You aren’t going to be 24/7 with that guy that bought the ticket. This is NSA, exclusivity optional.

    Now when a girl that used to frequently comment here used a RT to meet a new SD in Boston to add on a booty call to her boyfriend, not one of you batted an eye. Y’all were yuckin’ it up and high fivin’ that one. She didn’t do anything wrong, did she?

  35. NitemareSD says:

    … and those SBs need to overcome the damage of other SBs with their rampant scamming and other poor behavior which makes it necessary to find a mutual process to get past the early hurdles that become a part of getting along in the Sugar World.

  36. NitemareSD says:

    Gina, that is the second time for you accusing me of ulterior and hidden motives. I am suggesting ways for both sides to manage their risks. For you the only way is to assign all the risk to the SD. Now there is ulterior motive.

    I read some old comments from the last few weeks last night. Yours show you to be highly paranoid. You have absolutely no concern other than your own and insist on advising everyone take a completely one sided hard line.

    How many SDs do you have sending that $500 in cab fare sight unseen on top of the RT ticket and fancy hotel? How about the rest of you that agree with her? Do you think every aspiring SB can command such a thing?

    Some people just need to get the job done. Get some seed money to move on further. They don’t need to look for the annointed GenuineSD. They need to meet SomeGuy that will give them money, or something else they need, to keep it all going. Or just SomeGuy that will be nice and give money or do something they enjoy that they hardly ever see in their lives.

  37. elle says:

    hi all,
    thanks for all the advice and words of wisdom :) i really appreciate it. the SD lives very close to me so we’ve planned to meet and i guess we’ll go from there…i’ll let you know how it goes.

  38. GinaZ says:

    Good suggestion Nightmare on setting up meetings. Makes logistical sense and is empowering for the SB.

  39. GinaZ says:

    If a pot SD is paranoid about cashing in a $60 bus ticket and has been burned before, something is off about him. Nightmare I have a feeling your idea of “grease the wheels” is code for something else.

    Today’s Mantra: “I am FABULOUS and I deserve to find the SD/SB/SM of my dreams” ~OC

  40. RedMaru says:

    Thanks Nitemare…lol I think I might try that

  41. NitemareSD says:

    You can’t get to the positive aspects of being a sugar until you grease the wheels and meet someone and build trust.

    RedMaru, my guess is he thinks you could just cash the bus ticket in and he’s out. You can do that a few times a week and have a nice little scam going. So you are caught in this chicken and egg cycle of how do you get over that first hurdle.

    Ok, make the trip worthwhile. Find a reason to go beyond meeting him. Get on SA right now and email 13 other SDs in that city/town and tell them you are going to be in town and are interested in meeting them. Ask them for nothing other than to meet for a drink or coffee or whatever. Surely you rock enough to line up 3-4 SDs to meet that way.

    You’ll come home with 1 or 2 SDs in hand – or eating out of your hand.

  42. NitemareSD says:

    Lisa, darling, my advice is save the Earth: shut off the A/C and come to east egg where the air is dry and cool and global warming is what we all pray for every January and February.

  43. GinaZ says:

    I’d like to nominate SuthrnExec and OCSB as exemplifying the most positive aspects of being a sugar. 5 stars in my book!

    Redmaru he can’t pay the $60 fare…not getting a good vibe. It doesn’t sound good.

    Nightmare you are dripping with sarcasm as always:) But always with that dose of reality that reminds us sugar babies that we have a choice. And as a rule, a good gauge is whether the pot SD shows that he cares about our level of comfort from the onset, not the other way around.

  44. ~OCSugarBaby~ says:

    Today’s Mantra: “I am FABULOUS and I deserve to find the SD/SB/SM of my dreams” ~OC

  45. ~OCSugarBaby~ says:

    Elle! Don’t except a per visit agreement. EVER. I have I been wrong so far? Confidence my little grasshopper, that will gain trust and show the Pot SD that you can handle yourself in any situation. Financial discussions can be done with ease. Email me and I will finish this conversation.
    ~OC

  46. Silver says:

    Good Morning Everyone.

    I had a potential SD but things seemed to keep falling through. The finishing factor was because I didn’t drive at all. I am starting to get sick of all of the rejections time and time again. Is this even worth it in the long run, to keep trying after 7 months filled with rejections since joining.. sorry my spirits are suddenly very very low.

    Hope everyone else is having a good day.

  47. NYC SB says:

    I agree with SE – its $60 fare and for him to want you to pay for it and then he reimburses you… well it just makes me think that he is cheap and its uncalled for him to put you in that position. what happens if you take the trip out there and he is a no show… then you are out of $60 which is unfair… my two cents should you choose to pursue this is to insist that he either pays for the trip or he comes and visits you…

  48. RedMaru says:

    I don’t mind you asking. One way is $31 and round trip is 59.60 plus $18 fee that’s added on if you buy it for someone else.

  49. SuthrnExec says:

    RedMaru, if he’s been fleeced so many times, maybe he ought to get off his a$$ and go to the SB to meet them – or maybe he needs to be a little smarter about going about getting to know an SB to determine if she’s trust-worthy. But in reality, he’s probably a cheapskate and my guess is you’d be on your own after meeting him because he would want to go to your hotel room immediately after lunch/dinner and you would refuse and then he would walk.

    The short answer to your question, Is this what a genuine SD does? No.

  50. NYC SB says:

    red maru – how much is the ticket to see him if you dont mind me asking?
    if its under $50 i dont see why he cant pay pal you some money even if you skip out he shouldnt even be phased….

  51. lisa says:

    Good morning everyone. Slept late this morning and was awaken by banging on my bedroom wall. No not what it sounds like, I think theyr’re working on the apartment next to me. Yes I am finally awake Nitemare.

    RedMaru, is there not a airport that you can fly out of? Do you have to take a bus? If it’s the only way to get there then it’s the only way but if he is sending you on the bus to be cheap, well that’s another story.

    Gotta jump in the shower now. I’m headed to the Galleria to have some lunch and enjoy my day off. I just read my electric meter and i’ve already used 700 kw and I’ve got another 14 days to go on my bill 😮 I’m feelin a little sick, lol I tried shutting my ac off when I got to work and that doesn’t work because my ac is almost 40 years old and it ran for 6 hours nonstop the other evening and from 430 till 1030 it only cooled down to 88 so that idea is scratched. Hot weather sucks, bring on the fall

    Gotta go now
    Have a great day everyone
    Continue to give out your wise words of wisdom Nitemare

  52. RedMaru says:

    Sorry bout long form…..I forgot to add that he approached me sending me a note that if I was willing to travel he would spoil me.

  53. RedMaru says:

    Hey sugars, long time no see..hee hee 😀
    I actually have a question for any SD’s in here. I have a potential(yah?) from the state right next door to me. The reason I’m not jumping for joy yet b/c he seems like a cheapskate for the income bracket he’s claiming. He wants me to pay for a one way ticket to come to him and then claims that he’ll reimburse me when I get there and pay for the trip back and any expenses there including a room if I want privacy. Granted I don’t mind taking the scenic route but I’m a little weary as I think a bus ticket shouldn’t be a problem for him. He claims that its because he’s been fleeced out of money by previous SBs. Is there something I’m not seeing? Is this what a genuine SD does? Help me here?

  54. NitemareSD says:

    Oh the drama. Will the 5K hit the Jess account before Lisa wakes up on her day off? Jess has the advantage with Lisa having had a hard a full day yesterday.

  55. NYC SB says:

    jessica – its a bit unusual that he would wire 5k… its a large sum… if he does you might have hit the SD jack pot :)

  56. SuthrnExec says:

    elle, I kinda have mixed feelings about your situation. I understand the rationale, however, personally I would have to come to a level of comfort and trust where it would not be an issue. To me, the trust issue is larger than any amount of money. If one of you disappeared after the first or second meeting and no matter the amount of the allowance, what’s the thing that both of you would remember?? That he or she went POOF! The amount of money would purely be secondary. To me the comfort level of the SB is paramount and if I proposed something that made her feel uncomfortable or would cause her to feel as though she had lost any dignity whatsoever, I would want to know immediately and we would work something else out.

  57. NitemareSD says:

    There are plenty of wonderful hotels with terrific lounges in their lobbies that are perfect for not having sex. Sounds like the guy’s got a plan. 😮

    Is the check in the mail yet?

    What did you agree with me on?

  58. jessica says:

    good morning everyone! I was reading everyones posts from last night. Everyone has such good advise, being new to this site, it is great that everyone is willing to share from their experiences. I talked to the NY SD last night for over two hours on the phone. I do think my instint is he is to good to be true. I agree with nitemare that even though he claims to have millions and money is no object to him, it would be unusual for a man to part with 10K a month for an arrangement. Im not ruling him out but I am definately going to move slowly with him. He said to show he is sincere he will take the first leap of faith and wire me 5k before we even meet. He insists that our first meeting will take place at some amazing hotel in manhattan and absolutely NO sex. Just getting to know each other. Interesting guy

  59. NitemareSD says:

    ~OCSugarBaby~ Says:

    July 15th, 2009 at 8:24 pm

    NYC and Gina: I am so pround of you two for sticking to your high ground on not thinking it is sugar PC to book multiple SD meets on another SD’s dime. Exactly!

    =========

    Stick to your guns and go on his quarter whenever you can get him to part with it.

  60. vixen says:

    Elle go for it!!! There are no steadfast rules on how these things should work. I trust you to use your best judgment. I do feel though after a certain amount of time you both should be able to move on from the pay per time. When and if that happens is yours and his decision alone. Do what feel rights and have fun along the way.

  61. GinaZ says:

    LOL here I am talking about bad spelling–and I did that in my previous post.

    “Just one ting about spelling.”

  62. GinaZ says:

    I agree nightmare (forgot to add) you are being rather critical. Elle isn’t being narrow minded, just smart. You may be hovering on one side of the SD spectrum and then there’s the other side. I also think there are girls, maybe too young to know any better, that fall into the the lower tier not realizing like OCSB often says that there are better choices.

  63. GinaZ says:

    Elle… your right about the pot. Hope noone has to go through that. ever.

    Trust your instincts about your pot. Then again one never knows, I was talking to someone similar, lots of emails phone call, then “poof” turns out he was playing the field a bit. Per visit upfront doesn’t have to mean by the hour or at a hotel or expecting sex. If he is a gentlemen he will want to get to know you first.

    Just one ting about spelling. A pet peeve of mine. Not just text type, but REALLY bad spelling issues. I was almost going to keep ignoring one pot, but it turns out he’s legit. Extremely wealthy, VERY legit pot SD (googled) just a bad speller. He’s like the example Suthrn made about wanting to take it slow, even though he knows he could come in with all the bells and whistles, he wants to get to know me.

  64. elle says:

    Thanks Brooke. Nitemare, it’s not necessarily narrow thinking, that is kind of harsh. Just being cautious.

  65. NitemareSD says:

    “I know the pay per time is a big warning sign but this SD seems very legitimate so far and has been very respectful towards me. Any opinions?”

    stop thinking so narrowly. He is giving you an agreed monthly allowance paying you in several payments in the beginning. You are giving him the comfort of knowing you aren’t going to run off with a big wad of his cash. He is giving you the comfort of not worrying about being stiffed at the end of the month.

  66. Brooke says:

    I personally don’t see anything wrong with “pay per meet” in the beginning while establishing a rapport with each other. To me, it’s a win-win. After a while though, i would prefer to have the monetary aspect of the relationship become more silent, by either using paypal or bank transfer, for a monthly allowance.

  67. NitemareSD says:

    I feel terrible. I’ve subjected many very satisfied ladies to any number of Southern’s no no’s.

    They are things you do have to take cautiously.

  68. elle says:

    GinaZ, good job staying calm on the phone with her! I can’t imagine how I’d react in such a situation haha. But like vixen and suthrn said, he’s now not worth it – too much drama, risk, etc. You shouldn’t have to put yourself in such a bad position for this guy.

    Suthrn – very thorough and accurate list! If I had to add to it, it’d be something along the lines of spelling – I’ve had some SDs claiming to be “important businessmen” and such yet they type like a teenage boy — example:”so wut r u doin next week” something like that is how my 15 year old sister and her friends talk on msn.

    I also have a quick question in regards to spotting a fake. I’ve been talking with a potential SD for a few days now and it’s gone really well so far, no bad signs whatsoever. The arrangement came up as he wanted to know what I wanted so I mentioned monthly allowance. He responded saying he was perfectly fine with that but if it was okay that first few times we met it could be pay per time. He said it’d make him a bit more comfortable rather than giving a lump sum upfront and have the chance of me disappearing. I know the pay per time is a big warning sign but this SD seems very legitimate so far and has been very respectful towards me. Any opinions?

  69. NitemareSD says:

    Well GinaZ, I guess you need to stick to the guys who have been buying you a round trip ticket, paying for you to stay in a good hotel and sending you $500 for cab fare sight unseen.

  70. GinaZ says:

    SuthrnExec thanks… yes your right, not to get mixed up in that mess. And your right I won’t feel bad. I actually felt bad for the wife. The pot isn’t stupid, a 50 something man who I think got careless, reckless, or a bit too impulsive perhaps.

    I appreciate what you said too, the advice. You are a gentlemen, and a class act. May all SD read what you said and take note.

  71. vixen says:

    Gina I agree with suthern..i say let him go..no sugar is worth the drama his carelessness will cause..don’t underestimate how far a wife will go..just say NEXT!!

  72. SuthrnExec says:

    Tina, et. al, regarding issues with the fake SDs – it’s late but I thought I would post this anyway.

    Before I write further, please understand that these are things that are generally true, but we all know there are exceptions. Here is my little tick-list of things that tell you to “RUN THE OTHER WAY” – particularly when talking to a potential SD:

    * From the first email, they seem too good to be true. They promise you everything – rent, car payment, a car, tuition, etc. Most SDs are that because they have succeeded in business and no matter how much $$ they have, most got it by making good business decisions, so the genuine SDs will take it slower and want to get to know you better.

    * Immediately start asking about sex, what you like, etc. Most likely, they are being controlled by the wrong head. Wait a few hours or a day or two – they will completely change their discussion topic or disappear altogether.

    * If they use guise of “I want us to be open” and then want to talk about sex and other intimate topics from the beginning.

    * If they pressure you to come to them for the initial meeting – especially immediately after you first make contact. It is usually best if the SD meets the SB in her town, simply for safety’s sake. An SD will understand this. He should be a gentleman at ALL times. There may be times when it makes more sense for the SB to go to him for the first meeting – it cane happen. But he will be a gentleman about the arrangements (you will have ticket in-hand, hotel arranged, etc.). Generally though, he should go to her. Be PATIENT – there will be time for traveling to each other later on.

    * If the SD pressures you to meet him the first night after you first make contact with each other. He needs to go to another site because he’s not looking for a SB.

    * He will insist that you and he “go to your place” after your first meeting. A SD and a gentleman will not push the intimacy. It must be mutual and everyone needs to be comfortable with it. Make the decision with what you’re comfortable with before meeting and stick with it.

    * You decide to meet and he cancels at the last minute more than once – be careful! I know things come up, but it’s a pretty good sign he’s getting cold feet and he’s not genuine if he cancels at the last minute twice in a row.

    * This is more about his profile than about how he behaves. Is he “too hot?” Is he manicured to the nines and stiffly posing in typical model poses? Does he have pancake makeup on (as indicated by excessively even coloration of the skin)? Is the guy absolutely catalog-perfect, every single hair in place, clothing immaculate, positioning camera-ready? If so, he may be a fake.

    * Genuine SDs won’t be in a rush – they will want to get to know you. There is a line here that has to be drawn because many SBs will have in their profile that they are no into endless emails – in other words, the SD will want to email, char and text be never want to move it forward. There is a balance – but primarily the difference will be that the SD will not push you to move it forward more quickly than you want.

    * Be wary of SDs that talk about the financial arrangement in terms of xx$ per meeting or visit. Finances need to be discussed at a mutual comfort level, but a SD that talks about the financial arrangement in terms of $$ per visit – watch out! He’s either terribly naïve, ignorant or a player. He needs to go to another site.

    * Genuine SDs will read your profile. If your profile states that you are not into sex chat and the first thing he writes is all about sex, you know he hasn’t read your profile. Ladies, you know us guys are 90% visual, but that doesn’t excuse not reading the profile. We are big boys and a genuine SD will be more interested in getting to know you than getting “it” as soon as possible!

    * Genuine SDs will demonstrate chivalry – you should be able to tell if he is chivalrous. It may take him a while to figure out how to express the chivalry in ways that you appreciate, but you should see the effort being made in him.

    * Closely akin to the point above, a genuine SD will be concerned about you and your feelings and your comfort level.

    Ok, it’s late but I am sure there are other “fake SD identifiers” that others can add – especially the SBs.

  73. SuthrnExec says:

    GinaZ, stay away from this guy. He’s too careless or too stupid or… whatever. You don’t want to get mixed up in that kind of situation. Most of all, you shouldn’t feel bad for his stupidity! It is all on him – feel sorry for him, maybe, but don’t feel bad about it.

  74. GinaZ says:

    I wanted to hang up when I knew what was happening, but of course I didn’t. How did I know he’d just up and leave and not tell his wife. She knew something was fishy. She probed but I stayed as cool and as baffled as one would be, if called by a stranger and didn’t know why. But yeah he came here to see me. I feel bad, really bad now.

  75. GinaZ says:

    Elle….Yes his wife said his suitcase is packed and he just left. No note nothing. It was veeeerrrry awkward. Since nothing has happened I just made something up about his work, like I was interested in the kind of field he’s in. then she read aloud from the email. Something about last weeks plans. Again I bluffed my way through. She sounded really confused. How did she even get my number? I’m not liking this one iota. Yes fortunately NOTHING has happened. I haven’t even met him. But still he came here to see me. I told her I didn’t know anything about it, if he would be in L.A.

  76. GinaZ says:

    Anyone?

    Help!

    OK to all the married SD, please please please avoid this type of situation. Fortunately I’m a great improviser, but it could have been so much worse.

  77. elle says:

    GinaZ – Oh my goodness! Awkward would barely describe that situation! Was she accusing you and really angry, or more just bewildered and hurt? Either or I can imagine it would be difficult for you to deal with. Fortunately, you haven’t met him and really haven’t had a full out arrangement so I suppose that would lessen the guilt and such or make it less a huge deal ? I’m sure it’s a majorrrrr issue for the SD though right now, eeek. You said his suitcase was gone, so has he already left for LA to see you?

  78. Brooke says:

    Giulietta,

    I really lucked out with that. I did not meet him on a SD/SB website. The financial help started after us getting to know each other well through online chat/phone, and through me talking about my life and financial situation, he took it upon himself to help me out and while i didn’t ask for it, i didn’t reject it. I don’t think i will ever meet someone like that again.

    As much as receiving checks in the mail was great, i am actually looking forward to finding someone that i enjoy looking forward to seeing and have a connection with beyond a phone conversation. I’m not looking for love out of this, but a friendship that alsp involves mutual respect, attraction, sexual chemistry.

    My goal is to not get caught up in the lifestyle or depend on it. I want to be self sufficient, as much as i am not right now…

  79. GinaZ says:

    Oh my. I just got a call. Can I say awkward. One of my pot, the gentlemen from last weekend, spa guy, who canceled plans to come last week because his wife had an accident, called me today saying sorry I’ll be in L.A, I want to see you. I’m like sure alright. We’d been talking for a month.

    His wife just called. I covered myself as best as I could. I’ve never actually met him, so there is no indiscretion, but still, that was REALLY awkward. She found an email linking back to me with his suitcase gone.

    Help Sugars!

  80. lisa says:

    Looks like everyone is gone. I’m going to go watch tv for a while. I’m off tomorrow so i’ll catch up on sleep.

    Have a good night everyone

  81. GinaZ says:

    Giulietta…I think it’s not the norm, platonic, but I’ve seen profiles from SD on SA who say that’s what they want, though they may be very specif in their request. Want to help an aspiring athlete etc., I am talking to one pot SD who is open to platonic, so who knows!

  82. GinaZ says:

    Hi OC, thanks for the backing up. I’m not one to keep quiet:)

    And your right about screaming SOS isin’t good. My finances are a bit tricky at the moment, but I need to chill, be calm. The reason why I didn’t see hotel guy, just hold my course.

    Oh, and IXNAY on the XXX talk from the onset. They ARE playing with you. Run, block, delete!
    I’ve had a few of those too. Time wasters!

  83. Nico~346434~ says:

    G’night OC …good to see you

  84. OCSugarbaby says:

    Giulietta: Welcome. So many would love to find that! I highly doubt they will share the RARE SD that wants a platonic arrangement. I do believe it happens.

    Have a good night Sugars. Just popped in for a few minutes. Still at work, just been hammered the past few weeks. So, going home to relax and drink a nice glass of Merlot. No computer time his evening for me, far too tired! Enjoy! ~OC

    Hello Percy!

  85. lisa says:

    Good evening OC :)

    Percy say’s hi

  86. Giulietta says:

    Hi ladies and gents, I lurk here pretty often and you guys are always a hoot. You’ve also taught me a lot about sugar dating since I’m relatively new to this lifestyle.

    What interests me a lot are platonic sugar relationships. Looking at that poll it looks like ~30% of you have engaged in these sort of SB/SD arrangements. I have a boyfriend currently so I’m not looking for an intimate relationship with anyone else. Any of you guys have experience with platonic sugar relationships?

    Brooke, I saw above that you had basically a phone relationship with a SD. Anyone else have any advice on where to find a guy like that?

  87. Tina says:

    Yeah, I guess he was just a fake, I feel like I keep meeting the fake ones. I haven’t really experience the real SD relationship with anyone from this site.

  88. ~OCSugarBaby~ says:

    The same goes for SB’s that email or talk about their debt or financial needs too quickly. SD’s should run for the hills.

    Hey Nico!

  89. Nico~346434~ says:

    LOL…nice OC. Like it :) Good to see you online!!

    Lisa ~ I like the anology :)

  90. ~OCSugarBaby~ says:

    Tina: A good way to tell a fake is if he come on too strong. I call it the sugar to frosting scale. If he needs to spread it on thick…. Why is he trying so hard. *caution warning possible sugar overdose danger

  91. Nico~346434~ says:

    Just make the conversation be about more general topics….and refrain from that type of discussion until you get to know him.

    I believe we should treat this relationship as we would any other type of relationship sans the strings. I wouldn’t have a discussion about sex (likes dislikes etc) with a potential boyfriend over the phone or e-mail before I met him….

    Just something to help guage…

  92. ~OCSugarBaby~ says:

    Tina: He is a PIG! SD’s have class and decorum. At least the ones I have met. Emailing sexual questions is NOT Sugar PC. BLOCK, he is just playing you with that type of questioning. Too good to be true…. Be careful not to fall into the frosting. If I was sent an email like that I would reply, that just because we met on a sugar dating site does not give him the command to speak to me that directly. We haven’t even MET! Leave a bit of wonderment in the relationship, for at least until you establish whether or not you want to move forward.

    Satine: Interesting questions. Are you interviewing us or do you have a sticky situation you are wondering about? 😉

    NYC and Gina: I am so pround of you two for sticking to your high ground on not thinking it is sugar PC to book multiple SD meets on another SD’s dime. Exactly!

    Hi Lisa Penelope!… ~OC

  93. lisa says:

    Tina I just got added to a sd’s favorite list that made a date with me last week and then disappeared, odd he can’t even remember having that date set with me. But sometimes you gotta pour out the whole box of corn flakes to find the prize at the bottom of the box, lol

  94. Tina says:

    =( ugh, that sucks, Its so hard to tell the fakes from the real ones, I hate wasting my time talking to someone only for them to just end the convo without reasoning.

  95. Nico~346434~ says:

    Tina….I would 100% agree with Lisa. That’s not to say that sex cannot be a part of a conversation but best reserved for when there’s something more concrete between you two.

  96. lisa says:

    Tina BIG RED FLAG! Beware of the sds that promise everything upfront. Beware of the sds that starting asking about sex. This is best reserved for when you meet and become comfortable with each other. He was serious to begin with and probably did the same thing to dozens of more woman on the site.

  97. Tina says:

    Good evening everyone! I know i always appear here with my problems but u guys are the best team to ask for advice. I just now started talking to this SD, who told me exactly what he was about, he talked about how he wants to help me with everything, school tuition, car payments, starting a busines, blah blah blah, it I was just amazed because he seems like the person I’ve been looking for.

    So we exchanged a couple of emails and after a few emails he asked what am I into sexually and to not be shy to tell him because he wants us to be open, and I told him exactly what i like and don’t like, and after that he didn’t write back, do u think I opened up too much about my sexual likings or is he just all of sudden uninterested?

  98. lisa says:

    Hi everyone Just back from work, took the long way home today
    Good evening Nitemare
    Had a busy day at work but a nice outing after work. Going to take a bath now and relax

  99. Nico~346434~ says:

    Satine….I would imagine one would need to really make certain they’re in touch with their true feelings. Not saying it couldn’t happen (hasn’t to me) but make certain you’re aware of exactly what you (both) love about each other.

    The beauty of NSA is there is typically the lack of ‘nagging’, 24-7 time investment, calls etc. It would be easy to be fooled into thinking it is true love because your current relationship is void of these things.

    I would think, if you wanted to test your feelings (not test each other…different) I would begin treating it like it were a true relationship; however, understand that if it doesn’t work out then you may lose it altogether.

    Either way it would be a question you should ask your heart. BEST OF LUCK!!

  100. NYC SB says:

    satine – interesting question… unfortunately i have no insight… if this were to happen to me and the SD was committed otherwise …. that would be a tough road to be on but i think ultimately i would walk away to protect myself

  101. GinaZ says:

    Satine…though it has never happened to me, if it did on both sides in an organic way, I would welcome it. On SA for example, there is a SD who is looking for something like this, and even though I hadn’t considered this as a possibility I’m very happy to meet him as one never knows. I think if your both single it is easier to delve in deeper, if one of you is married, far more complicated, and it there I would say take a step back.

  102. GinaZ says:

    I see the logic in what NYC SB said. Makes sense. Being generous also ties in with whether
    they have family obligations, liquidity of monies, how generous they are in general. There are some very wealthy people who are very tightfisted, then there are those who make considerably less but are far more generous.

    Nightmare you can’t judge someone who is able to do this or wants to do this, much less call them stupid for doing so. And in this case the SD isn’t accepting the arrangement he is making it. You also have the choice to make this same gesture to someone or not (Lisa) but I do think thre is a code of ethic even in the context of SD/SB.

  103. NitemareSD says:

    When you fall in love you stop taking your birth control pills.

  104. Satine says:

    So, what happens ladies and gentlemen, when/if you fall in love with your SB/ SD?

    Do you run like the wind or actually attempt pursuing a “real” relationship?

    Has this happened to anyone? What are positives and negatives?

    Allowing people into your emotional life can be huge…

    Advice/ feedback please!

  105. NYC SB says:

    From personal experience – if someone is willing to dish out 10-20k per month for an SB his income should clearly be higher than 1M and his net worth needs to be 50mm – 100mm bracket. This person would also have to be very generous by nature. If someone is in the 5k to 10k range they still would have to make in the more of 1m range. Of course there are other factors that impact ones decision such as other obligations (wife and kids) and liquidity… but it can happen and such individuals exist.

  106. NitemareSD says:

    I’m headed off down the road a piece to see Othello.

  107. NitemareSD says:

    An SD would be very stupid to accept that arrangement, unless that money is pocket change in his bracket, and even then its just wasteful.

  108. NYC SB says:

    I agree with GinaZ – even if the arrangement doesnt work out its disrespectful to meet others … he is being generous enough to pay for her accomodations… worst case she can write it off as a free trip to nyc 😀

  109. GinaZ says:

    Hi Goodgirl…hope the sushi was good. Yummy!

    Jessica congrats…seems very promising. Definitely have a contact in place and take NYCSB’s advice. RT fare, cash per diem all up front. Safety is important.

    Nightmare…If the pot SD is buying the RT ticket plus sending money $500 for example and paying for a hotel room, that doesn’t seem right for someone to encourage multiple meets on someone else’s dime. My sense is that Jessica is looking for something in the 5k-10k sphere not a one time escort $500 quickie. Maybe I’m being overprotective but her safety is what we should be encouraging not play the field. I sense ulterior motives.

  110. NitemareSD says:

    Lisa, can’t wait to hear about your day. Hope it was extra special.

    Jess – as long as you are traveling, why not double your pleasure and stop by? Girls, when you travel to NYC to meet a guy, why meet just one guy? Set up 2,3 or 4 meets. Guess what – no worries about flakes because someone is bound to show out of that. Make better use of your time. Make it easier for each SD – the SD that pays your ticket isn’t asked to give you a $ gift – though he may anyway if he wants to be sure to see you again. 😉 Tell those other SDs, hey I’ll be in town, would you like to meet for a drink? No pressure.

  111. NYC SB says:

    ababy a fellow blogger flew into NYC from FL and i was her contact in case something went wrong. make sure the hotel room is in your name and you have the plane tickets (departure and arrival) in hand… its always good if he could send you some money before hand ($500 would be good) for incidentals such as cab fare from airport and what not…

  112. jessica says:

    Right now Im just going to talk with him. I am a little leary about going to Manhatten of all places by myself! Im a small town girl, never have even been to NY. How do you know if the person means what they say? Has anyone actually flew to another state to meet for the first time? How did you work that out?

  113. NYC SB says:

    jessica – just have fun with it and be careful if you meet and it doesnt work then it doesnt… enjoy it while it lasts

  114. NitemareSD says:

    He probably just chose a model that has a picture with a sign with just about every girls name on it.

    Do I have to point out that was facicious. To I have to learn to spell facicious?

  115. jessica says:

    No…I asked him to do that so I could see that he was real:)

  116. NYC SB says:

    aww he sent you a pic with your name on it… he must really like you

  117. jessica says:

    haha he just sent me a picture holding a piece a paper with my name on…oops I guess he is real…wow he is gorgeous!!!! Or just good with photoshop!

  118. jessica says:

    yes he is a paying member. He send me a couple more a few minutes ago, they look less model like. Same outfit, maybe he only pays his SB’s so much he doesnt have enough for clothes

    NC gent; try playgirl…very nice guys in there

  119. NC Gent says:

    Hello — anyone know of some good web sites where I can download some pics of hot handsome men to send to potential SBs? I want to see how long I can string an SB along before she finally wants to meet and is disappointed that I don’t match my pics :)

  120. Carol says:

    Jessica-

    Is he a paying (orange) member because if not he may be a fake just playing with your head

  121. NYC SB says:

    Jessica he probably thinks you will be willing to overlook the appearance issue given the right amount… or maybe he will charm you with his personality :)

    Nitemare – currently i do not have an SD my old one wants to get married and is now pursuing a relationship with another lady for the long haul.

  122. jessica says:

    That is exactly what it looks like! Thats crazy! Do they not actually ever plan on meeting? I think I might notice that he is not the same person..Why even waste their own time , not to mention mine, conversing with someone when you are pretending to be someone else. That cracks me up

  123. elle says:

    hmmm…jessica i have sometimes noticed that SDs use pictures off the internet of suit models and such. perhaps ask him to send more casual/non professional pictures of himself.

  124. jessica says:

    Good morning everyone! I have a question for everyone. I have been emailing this SD from NY. He sounds perfect, too perfect! Wants to fly me in once a month, treat me like a queen, $5-10K on top of what I want for the day that I am there, In exchange for real passion. We have exchanged pics and wouldnt you know he is gorgeous. Here is the odd part, he has sent me three different pics, they are all great quality, cropped and he has the same outfit on and never looking at the camera! It looks like he took them off the internet! What do you think?

  125. lisa says:

    Good morning everyone. ice it has been working of for me, not sure why it didn’t for you.

    Gee everyone comes out when I go to bed, sorry I missed everyone Nitemare, Gail, Gina, goodgirl, NYC, etc

    Going to work now. Have a good day everyone

  126. ice says:

    all it says is;

    Error_
    Website Currently In Maintenance – Please Try Again Later

  127. ice says:

    is the webiste/log on been down for anyone else? has not been working for 3 days now…

  128. Gail says:

    Southern Comfort makes me hot….my insides get all warm before my head gets goofy and light……Goodgirl you are cracking me up….sushi and wine sure makes you oh so happy….did you go on a sugar date?

  129. Goodgirl says:

    hehehehe Gail! I loooooove Southern Comfort. No back. 😀 I’m cool like that! 8) show ya in Vegas baby! LOL

  130. Gail says:

    lol…..Goodgirl…I am glad you enjoyed your wine : ) I am a shot of bacardi, coke back woman. I am like Lisa….No wine for me….lol….

  131. Goodgirl says:

    opps….*wine….see?!? :) lol

  132. Goodgirl says:

    GinaZ ~ Just wanted you to know I just got home from a sushi dinner where i had too much mine :) I knew you’d appriciate that! 😉

  133. NitemareSD says:

    So miss cell phone crisis answered back –
    “its not minutes its a monthly phone bill.. its $145 if you want to help let me know”

    but I said –

    “I’m looking for a girl who values a guy that is smart enough not to do that before meeting her.”

    I guess we aren’t a match.

    For smart I could have substituted self respect or desperation, with appropriate grammatical modification.

    I’d love to see the reseach on the kind of guy that sends money without wanting to meet, or sends money to induce a meet. There is no shortage of woman available to accomodate them.

  134. Gail says:

    Brooke-What a wonderful friendship you have. You must have provided comfort and great companionship to this gentleman. He truly appreciated you and showed how much he cared about you as a person.

    I have made several SD friends on this site. We share a a long-term friendship, love, and truly care for each other. If not for my SD friends today I really don’t know where I would be. I met only one of my SD friends for lunch a year later.

    I have received gifts in the form of cash and presents. Everything came at a time where I was struggling to make ends meet. I never had to ask for help. They gave unconditionally : ) My daughters college tuition was paid, my rent and utilities was paid. I even had the simple luxuries such as full spa and shopping days. My best gift was my new laptop on my birthday. He called to tell me to pick it up at BestBuy because he just bought it online while he was talking to me. I was able to search for a new job and before long I was back on my feet, new job, new me : )

    There is plenty of sugar in this world…I know…I am always blessed : )

  135. NitemareSD says:

    I’ve heard there are tons of SDs on this site willing to engage in a long distance arrangement as defined. However, their budget generally seems to be $0K/mo

    NYC SB – you don’t have an actually on going SD right now? I thought you did and were looking for an additional one.

    Good night Lisa. Sweet dreams.

  136. NYC SB says:

    aww the 10k allowance for dinner twice a month… i miss my SD… damn you eharmony!

    Well the pot from last week has decided to date around some more to make sure that he chooses the right SB… little does he know it doesnt gett much better than NYC SB lol

    Just spoke with a new pot… we are meeting at a private club in NYC soon … very excited! hopefully this one materializes as i no longer want to keep on looking… sure dating is fun but having something steady is funner

    i am European but i dont want to disclose from where as that is a bit personal for this forum

  137. GinaZ says:

    (Gasp) 5k-10k never meet WOW!

  138. GinaZ says:

    Brooke, wow, a virtual distance SD. That’s indeed rare. doubt you’ll find that on SA, but you never know! I did have one friend (not SD) who I met on the phone by chance and we talked all the time but never met. It sounds like you have had experience but translating that in person is a whole other dimension.

  139. creek says:

    Thanks for your comments everybody. I incorporated your feedback and sent the following email.

    I have a very specific idea of what an arrangement should be but experience has taught me that the best way to build rapport and set up a satisfying arrangement is to meet for coffee/dinner first to see how compatible we are. Arrangments become a lot easier to set up during and after the first meeting.

    Would you like to meet for dinner/coffee? Let me know what you think.

    I will keep you posted on the response.

    BTW on the Democrat/Republican issue – I am fiscally conservative, socially moderate and hence a proud republican. However we are currently in doldrums but see better days ahead.

    Mark Sanford is the latest SD to be publicized. His dear dear friend from Argentina is really his SB.

  140. GinaZ says:

    Dorky Guy LOL, what a funny take on what you put in your body. I’m right with ya’

  141. Brooke says:

    I should clarify – by long distance i mean not ever meeting in person.

  142. Brooke says:

    I love reading this blog. I lurk daily and am always entertained!

    Has anyone ever had a long distance sugar relationship? I’ve been on this site for a while but have yet to meet anyone. My only prior experience with anything like this was long distance, we met in a chat room, but we actually never met in person. We’d talk on the phone all the time, he’d send me flowers, 5-10k a month, and this lasted for about 5 months. We always had fabulous conversation but he never wanted to meet. He was just lonely, i guess, and although i never asked for any of the things he gave me, he just enjoyed spoiling me and I considered him a good friend.

    I’d love to hear about other people’s experiences, because while i am somewhat familar with this lifestyle, i still am not sure how to go about it. I’m sure there is no right/wrong way, but a general guide or just hearing how it went for other poeple, would be nice.

  143. GinaZ says:

    NYCSB Brunello Di Moniacino sounds very very nice, Good taste. And so wonderful that he was thoughtful. All good signs. Curious, where are you from originally?

  144. lisa says:

    Hi everyone
    Been on the phone with my best friend, phone battery finally died. I was thinking of getting a new battery but I think i’ll keep this one as she does not know when to say goodbye. Seems slow on the blog tonight. Where is everyone? Good night Nitemare, everyone, going to watch some tv and go to bed.

  145. elle says:

    hiii all, just a quick hello! NYC, that is absolutely adorable he chose that wine for those reasons!

    i’m watching a rather terrifying movie…i hope i’ll be able to sleep tonight.. lol on a happier note, i’ve got 3 verrryy promising potential SDs i’m interested in. very exciting :) i knew my picky-ness would pay off hahah alright, back to the movie…good night*

  146. NYC SB says:

    it was Brunello Di Moniacino ’97 reserve – it was very good but the wine year is very significant to me as it is when i moved to this country and we went out on the same exact date that i came here… so he felt it was appropriate 😀

  147. GinaZ says:

    Lisa (snicker) what a visual that is, small, head big body. Yikes!

    NYC SB, it’s good that you see the LTR potential and stay the course. One never knows:) Ultimately I seek a life partner, but that’s harder to find and cultivate. So you’re smart to keep your options open, sugar dating and the like. I guess that’s where I’m at to. What kind of wine was it?

  148. NYC SB says:

    GinaZ – he was single… he could be an SD but i see LTR potential with him so i chose to not pursue that avenue with him… however, he does fly in to see me or gets me a ticket to see him, buys dinner and things of such nature :)

  149. lisa says:

    people in Texas has tiny heads and huge bodies. But if one removed their head, they would weigh less, that’s a thought

  150. GinaZ says:

    Some headless man (profile pic) wanted to fly me to Houston as his guest. I got a creepy vibe. his head looked weird anyway (he sent me his picture)

  151. GinaZ says:

    I live in California. tofu, wheat grass juice, fresh squeezed OJ. Almost all the women are near anorexic and everyone’s on a diet Me, I just want to be healthy. Clear mind. body is a temple kind of thing. but I’m different. Not fat, not too skinny, a real women with curves.
    But I heard Texas is the worst. A piggy cart, LOL. Sounds scary.

  152. DorkyGuy says:

    I prefer cage free chicken too…

    Any chicken that ends up in prison has no place on my plate. I wouldn’t trust it to pass through my colon without spraying graffiti on the walls.

    In my defense, my first post of the day was that I woke up in a random mood :/

  153. lisa says:

    Single bottle of wine or single man? lol

  154. lisa says:

    Texas does alot on the old gut and weight scare, it’s like everyone is obese here. One of our motorized shopping carts at the store has started making a sound like a pig (really it has) and I guess it might be because of all the pigs that have hopped on it, lol. There are so many obese children in Texas, I mean some of these kids are bigger than me and they’re like 10 years old.

  155. GinaZ says:

    NYC SB that sounds interesting a bottle of wine with Harvard man:) Single I hope!

  156. GinaZ says:

    To each is own I say. But yes you’re right Lisa, anyone can drop dead of a heart attack at 40 or 50. Most of that has to do with genetics and family history. Fortunately for me my grandparents lived into their 90’s, so hopefully I will make it there as well:) Eventually, at
    least from what I’ve seen, junk food does a number on the ole’ weight scale, metabolism slows, big gut. No thanks. But yeah, we hear stories all the time of the 5 pack a day smokers who creek past 85 wheezing away yellow teeth and all.

  157. lisa says:

    I miss the bottled coke I grew up with. I used to get it by the case in Mexico all the time when I lived on the border. It tastes so much better than canned. I get the 6 pack of little bottle sometimes but it’s like an hour later, it’s empty

  158. NYC SB says:

    Oh dear Lisa – thats a lot of coke… your next SD can pay some of your allowance in coke cans 😀

  159. lisa says:

    I’ve tried different kinds and don’t like any. My ex boyfriend was really into wine and all and knew everthing about it.

    John Pemberton is the greatest inventor ever for inventing Coca Cola. It was originally a medicine drink so when I drink half a 12 pack a day, i’m just taking my medicine, lol

  160. NYC SB says:

    Lisa – maybe the wine you tried wasnt good? or just maybe you had a wine that was too dry for your taste… i know that god loves us cuz he gave us wine… speaking of which i had a fantastic bottle with a great man (Harvard MD :) ) this past weekend … regular date

  161. lisa says:

    I can’t understand people’s facination with wine, I have tried it and it gave me a gag reflex, tasted awful like sucking on a alcohol swab, lol

  162. lisa says:

    my grandma ate nothing but junk food and lived to be 86 and my aunt (yikes my 300 lb aunt ate junk and every time I visited her on vacation, I would gain 5-7 lbs with her big meals and desserts. I remember opening up one of her dresser drawers (I was sleeping in her room during our stay and there were bunches of hershey bars) lol. She lived to be 82 which isn’t too bad. Some people eat healthy and die young, some live to be old, some eat junk and live to be old or die young, some people smoke and live to be 100 (George Burns) and some people die young. I guess it has more to do with genes and how your body handles the food rather than what you eat. I like to enjoy my food

  163. GinaZ says:

    Lisa it seems we are polar opposites. But then again I’m a Cali girl. Lots of healthy folks. I LOVE sushi, exotic cuisine and organic. I have the opposite reaction with junk food, it makes me ill. That’s why I buy organic milk too. It all tastes so much better, no additives, preservatives, extra fat, hormones. I also like knowing that “cage free” means the chickens get to roam about and aren’t kept in deplorable conditions. But we all have different tastes, I’d likely be more apt to meet a SD who lieks to eat as I, likes a glass of red wine at dinner and loves sushi too!

  164. silly says:

    why no pic Southern ? and NC Gent .. come on !

  165. lisa says:

    I’ve heard about kfc but you know any dairy product is the result of cruelty as the cows are kept breeding so they continue to produce milk and then their calves (well the veal industry is a whole other story) are killed. chickens are kept crowded in cages, and anything we buy from china or other third world countries is made by child labors and people working in horrible conditions. However I could never eat organic stuff as it is ridiculously priced and tastes horrible to me. I can’t eat sushi but it’s not what I would eat when I’m hungry.

  166. GinaZ says:

    No more fast food junk food for me. Well maybe a In ‘N Out Burger. But I’m boycotting KFC, considering the deplorable conditions they keep the animals. I prefer organic and, sushi, Mediterranean cuisine.

  167. lisa says:

    sounds good except for the diet coke, no thanks and I hope that ranch dressing isn’t fatfree or lite

  168. NYC SB says:

    im eating “healty” as well… just ordered a salad… cobb salad with bacon and avocado and turkey and ranch dressing … diet coke on the side 😀

  169. lisa says:

    Oh for a minute I thought you were giving up “sugar” dating lol you can keep the organic stuff. I once bought organic lettuce by mistake (noticed when I got home and the price was twice as much as regular lettuce) Yuck! I couldn’t even eat it with lotsa salad dressing on it, it went straight to the trash Give me kfc chicken

  170. GinaZ says:

    I’m eating VERY healthy, zilch on the sugar intake, though I have plenty of sugar to spare for my SD to be:)

    On the menu this afternoon: Organic grilled skinned chicken breast, with lemon, herbs, fresh garlic and crushed black pepper corn, with a side of leafy greens.

  171. lisa says:

    Hi everyone finally home from work. What a day for the bus to break down. Just downed one can of soda, working on the second.

  172. Nico~346434~ says:

    Nitemare, I wouldn’t be too shocked if you got a response 😉

  173. NYC SB says:

    SE – i too am working so others can take vacation…blah!

  174. NitemareSD says:

    I took pity on the girl and offered to mail her my spare cell phone to use on the trip, just need her full name, address, DOB, and social security number.

    I offered to take a credit card for security.

  175. GinaZ says:

    Dorky yeah the poem (that rhymed) was a bit different than my usual response back. He was aghast at my choice. But your right it’s not like I was procreating with the man, and while I tend to sway a bit more on the liberal side of things, as long as someone is open and not going to try and convert me, it’s all good.

    Profile pics are good, but for me as a SB looking for her SD, its soooo much more than that!
    One must never overlook the no pic profile, or the too brief email. Sometimes you have to take a chance.

  176. SuthrnExec says:

    All’s well – working hard so folks like you can take vacations.

  177. NC Gent says:

    Heya SE — doing well — was on pseudo-vacation last week except for conference calls! How are you doing?

    I will NEVER have a picture on my profile! I am way too FUGLY lol

  178. Happy Lurker says:

    Mmmm, I liked all the comments by SBs on the allowance per visit.
    I conasider it pay per view.
    Funny thing is that SBs ask me for it.
    Lowest bid is $ 250 highest bid is $ 500.
    They do not state how many times per month the pay per view is wanted.
    So far all of them ran to Venezuela.
    Such a popular country makes me smile.

  179. Jessica says:

    Good morning everyone:)
    I do not have a picture on my profile either, but I like to be the one that makes the first contact anyhow

  180. SuthrnExec says:

    I think it works to my advantage NOT to have one of me on my profile!

    Morning folks – NC, how you doin’?

  181. NC Gent says:

    Good morning all!

    Hi Creek — my SB didn’t have a photo on her profile, so it wasn’t a deal killer. Nonetheless, I suspect that SDs are less likely to look at a profile that doesn’t have a picture — most of us SDs are very visually oriented!

  182. DorkyGuy says:

    Same, I’ve had good friends in all corners of the political spectrum.

    I kid them, and they have just as much fun kidding me back.

  183. lisa says:

    Good morning everyone getting ready to leave for work

    I’m a republican myself and my last sd was a republican. All my friends are democrats though, so go figure

    Have a good day everyone

  184. DorkyGuy says:

    LOL! Gina!

    For the record, I’m a Republican, and I consider all SB’s who date prominent Republicans to be patriots serving their country.

    It’s ok if you date Democrats too… A Democrate dating a SB is a Democrat who isn’t procreating! It’s good for everybody!

  185. GinaZ says:

    Nightmare what’s so funny about that? I don’t know, I guess I can relate. Your not going to travel to see someone at any distance without a phone, that’s dangerous. Maybe she couldn’t pay the bill. But who knows maybe it was a ploy.

    My entertainment factor was once getting a poem written by a pot SD who wrote about the Republican SD I had previously (who hated Bush so what’s the big deal) Pretty much calling me a traitor for letting this man put his cold hands on my full breasts.

  186. NitemareSD says:

    a woman who’s profile says “I love to travel and meet new people.”

    writes in response to a query about interest in taking a trip to east egg:

    I would love to, however I would need a phone to travel with and my phone is shut off because I need to pay the bill, if you can take care of that then let me know.

    =========

    You can’t make these things up. The entertainment factor alone is worth the membership fee.

  187. vixen says:

    Creek-For me the SD’s look is less important when he has a dynamic personality. A great conversationalist can make you overlook certain physcial flaws. Now that does not mean I’ll settle for someone who looks like Steve Wozniak. Since I’m very pro video chatting before we meet in person, I usually get an idea before hand of what I’ll see in person since just relying on pics can be very deceptive.

  188. Gail says:

    Creek-I believe a brilliant mind and beautiful soul is very sexy!!! A pic on the profile doesn’t bother me. What I look for is stimulating conversation and wit. If my cheeks hurt at the end of a date from laughter…I consider that a wonderful date : )

  189. lisa says:

    Hi Gail I’m in lurk mode. Was on the phone with my friend, phone battery finally died. I’ve got a pain in my right hand for the past couple days. is it that carpal stuff from clicking the mouse to much? I hope not

    Going to bed now. Percy has his jammies on and said to shut off the lights, lol Gotta get up early for work. Have a good night everyone

  190. Gail says:

    Wowee….alot of action and lively discussions while I was on vacation : )

    I am happy Jessica for you. Enjoy and make the best of your sugar while you have it!!!

    DreamyPrincess….yes poof daddies are everywhere…thats what happens when they are trying to sample everything at the candy store. And there there are the daddies that want to be chat buddies and never meet…just a waste of time. Hit the next button….there is someone out there for all of us : ) Have fun gambling….hit the big 777!!!

    A new sugar couple from the blog : ) Lisa and Nitemare…..that’s not new….they have been flirting with each other for awhile : ) It seems that Nitemare has just awoken and and is pursuing her with passion now….(smile)

    Greetings Sincere SD….nice to see you on the blog again. When are you coming to Cali?

    Lisa….channeling Lisa : ) where are you?

  191. creek says:

    Sugarbabies and SDs, can you give me some insights on profile photos? Is not having one a deal breaker? I know there has to be chemistry but how important is looks of the SD?

    I consider myself an up and coming John Paulson – ordinary looks extraordinary talent

  192. Dreamyprincess says:

    *daydreaming* I once had an SD like that Jessica. Got along great. Wanted just what i wanted…A level of GFE but not too serious, also not too casual. No drama. We talked and talked and talked. When we met he told me he couldn’t believe I was so wonderful and charming and so on. Now he is gone….to where you say?….I have no idea either. POOF.

    I messaged a couple of guys from my area, and we will see how that turns out. I have a date next weekend, to go gambling. I like gambling, especially with someone else’s money! hehe I am feeling lucky, so hopefully I’ll double up and get a sweet arrangement out of it!

  193. GinaZ says:

    Jessica wow you found a wonderful SD from the sounds of it. Everything you mentioned, all signs lead to Yes!

  194. NYC SB says:

    Jessica – Congrats! Seems like he really knows the way a true SD/SB relationship works… i hope you guys get along great and have tons of sugary fun!

  195. Jessica says:

    I know I cant believe it, I have been on this site for 3 days! This is wayyyy tooo much fun! He even stopped before we met for lunch to buy me this book I mentioned I wanted to read in one of my emails to him:)

  196. Goodgirl says:

    BTW~ Jessica, thats awesome! …not to good to be true girl. If you’re holding the cash, it IS true. 😀 Don’t worry, Be happy. Doooo do do do do doooo do do do doooooo :) *singing, of course! 8)

  197. Goodgirl says:

    I absolutly cannot stop laughing about the aston martin/mercury analogy :) thank you!!!!!

  198. GinaZ says:

    Jessica, that sounds great, VERY promising. I think the start of something good! He sounds like a gentle men and based on previous experiences of mine he sounds very legit. Fantastic news! Yes take your time get to know each other, and when your ready take that leap.

  199. jessica says:

    Hi everyone, I thought I would share my experience today! I am kinda excited and have never done this before. I havent told anyone I am on here so you guys are the only one I can bounce this off of. I was suppose to met a pot SD tuesday, but he emailed me to see if I could meet him today for lunch instead because he was going out of town for a few days. We had a great lunch and really hit it off. After a couple of hours he wanted to talk about the arrangement, this was his thought for the first month we would get together for dinner twice to get to know each other, just dinner nothing else. While we are just getting to know one another he would give me $1K for the month, if we decide to take it the next step he would give me $2k a month but because he travels he would only be able to see me 2 or 3 times. He gave me $1k today for my time and to think about it. What do you think? He seems to good to be true

  200. SincereSD says:

    The blog topic of GF/BF experience or relationship is an interesting question.

    I suppose it depends on one’s perspective and interpretation of what these words mean. For example, I’ve had several SBs tell me they are not looking for a “relationship” but when we clarify what that means, they are looking for something ongoing … more than causal but less than serious.

    As for myself, I prefer the GF experience … without the drama (of course). I can’t see how you can spend time on an ongoing basis with someone you’re not attracted to or don’t have anything in common with.

    The downside of GFE is both parties need to ensure the experience doesn’t become too surreal. Of the 4 SB relationships I’ve had, 2 crossed the line from being NSA to being too serious. To this day, I’m still not sure whether my SBs fell in love with the treatment or whether they actually fell for me.

    Otoh, I’ve also run into potential SB who are very specific about the boundaries … total discretion, limited public dates, no pda, etc. Then there are those that only care about how much per date. Not for me but who am I to argue if it works for them.

  201. GinaZ says:

    NYCSB being an experienced SB I think is good in terms of having some kind of litmus test for who is a pot SD. Like you I had a wonderful SD in the past, and I would hate to go backwards almost the opposite in fact. I had the mentoring, gifts and allowance, we were friends lovers and had a marvelous time. So it;s tricky, having expectations, but not so high you will miss a gem of a man who can offer something different.

  202. GinaZ says:

    Got over one hurdle, now onto the next! But going back to something Nightmare said, your right, It’s best to separate the two. That’s very good advice. Which is the reason I decided to nix the shopping mall tycoon, the per visit, try we’ll see. It does seem that it comes in waves, I’ve had a new flux, 5 or so potentials that seem VERY promising. So, staying positive is the key. And as OCSB said self respect or anything to demean ones self worth by attaching a dollar amount, especially when the SD is all about the SEX, is a no go in my book.

  203. NYC SB says:

    creek – any offer that is based on a “hourly” rate i would find insulting… its not so much the amount as it is the notion of what it signifies… having said that i have been very much spoiled in the past by my ex SD so I am still learning to “ground” myself in terms of expectations. Anyone offering me a 500 per meeting is eliminated… its not that the amount is low its just that I am used to so much more… its like driving an aston martin and then downgrading to a mercury

  204. Nico~346434~ says:

    Hi Creek…I know your question was directed to NYC but thought I might chime in…hope you don’t mind.

    My range is ‘open’. My SD’s range was 3-5k. We agreed on the lower end of the spectrum but his gifts (in addition to the monetary assistance) have totaled well over the high end of his budget so, it’s not always easy to say. 1.2 monetary plus other bonuses would need to bee clear :)

  205. creek says:

    NYC SB had a question for you: To go back to our previous conversation-What amount per month would you find insulting?

    I do have to say 1K in rural Indiana goes a longer way than 1K in NYC. If you say your expectation is 1K-3K and someone offers 1.2K would you find that insulting and not reply?

  206. NYC SB says:

    most men on here do not take rejection well… block button should serve a good purpose… you were being polite and honest and he took it a bit too personal its best to not get yourself too worked up over this… it happens its part of the course

  207. lisa says:

    elle, block him

  208. GinaZ says:

    Sorry that happened Elle. Yes some people don’t take rejection well it seems. Better that you find out now than too far into something though. He sounds a bit…unbalanced. but your right, trust your hunches, it’s OK to say no.

  209. GinaZ says:

    Nightmare,

    Precisely, I don’t want the guy who is looking for the bargain, or the per meet, or the keep your mouth shut honey let’s have sex. OC is right per meet to try it out is heading in the wrong direction. If you have a strong sense, not one iota of doubt then perhaps. SD’s aren’t going to solve my problem(s), but it’s the temporary one that one may consider things. But a per meet several times $250, before the official allowance, is a bit dicey.

  210. elle says:

    helloooo all,
    kind of a weird incidence to share…i’m hoping to hear it’s not common, as it was not very pleasant. an SD contacted me and after a couple emails of getting to know each other it appeared we wouldn’t be a good fit and we gradually lost contact…just recently i got a nasty email from him and i apologized and explained why i wasn’t interested and wished him luck with his search. he’s continued to send rather mean and uneccesary emails back…i responded apologizing again but he sent me back another nasty message. is this how SDs react when rejected? i’ve stopped responding but the whole ordeal kind of freaked me out. other SDs have thanked me for my honestly when i explain my lack of interest and i was shocked by this guy’s behaviour…

  211. lisa says:

    I wonder what “karen” would going for, she’s been looking for that platonic friend forever

  212. NitemareSD says:

    Just divide the expectation by the number of months they’ve had their profile to get your bid price.

  213. lisa says:

    lol they go from 10k a month allowance to a can of coke and a bag of chips out of the machine, lol

  214. NitemareSD says:

    GinaZ Says:

    July 13th, 2009 at 1:03 pm

    But, I’m hopeful. I’ve decided to not over look the ones who can’t spell, and not to be afraid to say what I want in an arrangement from the onset.
    I’m trying to be patient, even though my finances are quicksand and say no to the 50 something married hotel guy with a Harley.

    ———

    I have a theory that it is not worth contacting the newest SB members and better to let them get worn down by the other SDs so I can pick up the mess at a discount.

  215. lisa says:

    garlic and herb or barbecue? lol

  216. NitemareSD says:

    I’m back. it was a pretty decent chicken.

  217. lisa says:

    send some to me, lol pizza won’t even deliver to my apt.

  218. NYC SB says:

    thanks lisa! hahaha i just ordered food… working late has one benefit – free dinner

  219. lisa says:

    ok NYC SB I will send you some chickosticks, that’s what i’m having , lol

  220. NYC SB says:

    i want dinner!!!! im getting cranky

  221. ~OCSugarBaby~ says:

    Hi Lisa Penelope! I just pop’d in for a minute between meetings, so off to another one I go…

    Have a great day everyone!

  222. lisa says:

    Let’s play nicely children before I sit you in the corner and make you wear the dunce hat.

    Hi OC :)

  223. Silver says:

    NitemareSD Says:
    July 13th, 2009 at 4:32 pm

    Silver Says:

    July 13th, 2009 at 4:24 pm
    *snickers*

    ===

    Possible source of the weight problem?

    ——

    Excuse me? What have I done to you Sir for the rudeness.

  224. ~OCSugarBaby~ says:

    If a man offers to pay Per Visit, he is NOT an SD he is a man looking for an Escort. It is treading into that grey to black area of the spectrum. Quick money is tempting but self respect is priceless! Finding an SD takes time and trust. But it does happen. ~OC

  225. lisa says:

    actually i’m eating melted reeses and chick o sticks lol

  226. NitemareSD says:

    Goin’ out for a few to order a chicken.

  227. NitemareSD says:

    Silver Says:

    July 13th, 2009 at 4:24 pm
    *snickers*

    ===

    Possible source of the weight problem?

  228. Silver says:

    That or forums so this blog commenting too fast stuff will stop.

  229. lisa says:

    It said i’m posting too fast, I guess we need speed bumps on this site, lol

  230. NitemareSD says:

    I think I need to go out for a little while and order a chicken for someone.

    I’m not posting too damn fast. Its the others.

  231. lisa says:

    without an order of fries, lol

  232. Silver says:

    *snickers*

  233. lisa says:

    the unlucky ones end up in the value meal spicy chicken sandwich at mcd’s

  234. NitemareSD says:

    Sounds like most of them are half in the bag down their in Texas or looking for one last hurrah before kicking the bucket.

  235. lisa says:

    lol yes because many of the (potential sds) will end up in the bucket at kfc before they get to you

  236. NitemareSD says:

    Just don’t count your chickens before they come home to roost.

  237. lisa says:

    or just pay the allowance in rottiseir chickens, lol

  238. NitemareSD says:

    I think NYC SB could be trusted not to run off to Venezuela before I give her the allowance at the end of the week.

    Lisa you found the answer to the whole chicken and egg problem. Set the frequency of the meetings to the frequency of the allowance payments.

  239. NitemareSD says:

    Drew Carey has a brain? There is a rumor going around that a woman up in Canada recently made the mistake of thinking she had a brain and blew a pot after 2 emails.

    The 5-10K SDs are there for the 10-20K SBs.

  240. lisa says:

    wouldn’t a weekly allowance be a per time allowance if you seen him once a week? If a sd pays at the beginning, he risks the sb scamming him, if the sb has to wait till the end of the month, the sb risks being scammed, per visit is better till you establish a trust between you.

  241. NYC SB says:

    here are my two cents on the matter…

    i dont want a per time allowance… i would much prefer a weekly allowance if you will in the begining, or a twice a month, this way he feels some comfort that i wont run off to venezuela and i know that he is not taking advantage of me… per time just seems so transactional… i shouldnt earn my allowance based on quantity but quality…

  242. Silver says:

    Do I think that Drew Carey is actually one of the smartest people alive, no sadly I do not. His looks don’t do anything for me, him hosting the price is right does nothing for me either. Old tv show and all of that nothing. Is he funny, slightly to me.

    Jason Statham, is he attractive, yes I can’t lie about that. Do I believe that he is smart? Maybe, I don’t know much about him. Do I like all of his movies no, I thought that crank was one of the oddest movie ideas that I had seen in some time.

    So body or brains, the age old question.

    I would like to say brains but I know that if someone was just so smart and was a great person to speak with yet looked like the elephant man, I couldn’t lie and say I wouldn’t be repulsed in one way or another.

    But with body you can just look at a person and try to block out all of the stupid things they are speaking about. Or if you just can’t take it politely excuse yourself and get away.

    *suddenly feels very judgmental*

  243. NitemareSD says:

    No, no, no girls. The per meeting is a great way to start out. You establish trust with each other that way. You are not waiting for a large sum and he is not handing out a large sum hoping you don’t run Venezuela. Forget about thinking it has anything to do with an escort situation.

    Gina, never expect an SD to solve your problems. Put the two things completely seperate. Deal with your $ crisis and find a good SD independently.

    And you are going to have to meet a few people before you find someone good. Maybe a lot of people. Get moving.

  244. DorkyGuy says:

    Silver, which are you more attracted to?

    Jason Statham or Drew Carey? Body or Brain?

  245. Silver says:

    Hmm I suppose that we are talking about Jason Statham… unless you have a thing for Drew Carey, to each their own.

  246. DorkyGuy says:

    you’re just jealous cuz we have hair on ours

  247. lisa says:

    manboobs, huge beerbellies, those extra stomachs that hang down to the knees that seem to be common with women in my city , etc not very appealing , lol

  248. jessica says:

    man boobs are the worse

  249. DorkyGuy says:

    Depends… are we talking Jason Statham or Drew Carey?

  250. lisa says:

    I’ve seen guys with manboobs, lol

  251. Silver says:

    So does that mean you would go for a guy with manboobs DorkyGuy?

  252. DorkyGuy says:

    don’t fret Lisa, some of us guys prefer smaller boobs.

    B to a small C is about perfect.

    When it comes down to it though, size isn’t nearly as important as the fact that you have them.

  253. Silver says:

    *laughs at Dorky Guy*

    I wish you the best luck for your meeting tomorrow Jessica, I bet it’ll go well. The rest of us just have to wait for something which will come, hopeful before losing all hope.

  254. lisa says:

    gee where was I when these big boobs where being handed out?

  255. SuthrnExec says:

    DorkyGuy is in rare form today!

  256. lisa says:

    DorkyGuy is full of it today, I think he added a little something extra to his coffee

  257. jessica says:

    That is shame, this would be the perfect opportunity to explore outside the box! that is what my hopes are..to find someone that I normally would not seek and learn from them and try new things. I am the typical blonde with big boobs but I have a brain also! It would be nice to find someone that you enjoy that enjoys you as well, but all at the same time know that the relationship does not have any strings! I think Im living in fantasy land! This site could be a real slippery slope, too easy to become an escort and that is not what Im seeking at all. I guess I will just be patient and keep my fingers crossed for my meeting tomorrow with the potential SD

  258. DorkyGuy says:

    You can tell when a girl is a *real* coffee lover….

    Her boobs smell like coffee… because “the best part of waking up is Folgers in her cup”.

  259. jessica says:

    Yes I agree net worth is not the same as cash! They would have to make well over a million to even consider something that is that much money. The few people that I do know that make that money are often the ones that are very tight with their money so to give a women that much still seems far fetched

  260. Silver says:

    You know Jessica that’s a good question. I’ve been a member since Dec but still am looking, it seems that SD are put off by slight weight and race.. but that’s my own view on the matter.

  261. lisa says:

    I have had a couple Jessica but their usually fake. Take a look at their net worth and their annual income. It’s interesting to see that so many that offer 10k a month or 120k a year only make 100k which makes you wonder. I once had a potential sd tell me about what makes someone’s net worth. He said you take his equity in his home, his life insurance policies, cars, stocks, business investments, savings ,etc. He said that alot of net worth isn’t necessarily cash, it can be life insurance, stocks, etc.

  262. Silver says:

    Oh I see.

  263. jessica says:

    I was just browsing on the site since I am new to this. Do you think the profiles that are offering 5-10K a month are even real? Has anyone here ever had an SD that offered that?

  264. lisa says:

    “instant coffee” is profanity Silver lol

  265. jessica says:

    The first potential SD I was talking to offered me a per time allowance, it seemed very high, but I figured it would just be a one time thing and thats not worth it. I would think that if they were sincere about meeting it would be more in an allowance than per time

  266. Silver says:

    Excuse me? When did I use profanity in my past comments?

  267. lisa says:

    would you rather have the per time allowance for starters or would you rather see him several times and wait till the end of so many meetings to get your allowance? Personally I would feel more secure with it upfront or per time as you never know.

  268. lisa says:

    stop using profanity Silver ! Instant coffee should be banned, yuck. I drink it only when i’m desperate.

  269. NYC SB says:

    ginaz you are right it is very escort-ish … i hate the per time allowance!

  270. Silver says:

    Drinking decaf is like drinking coffee made from hot tap water and mixing in some bad instant coffee..

  271. lisa says:

    coffee, oh gee I haven’t had any today as I didn’t want to drink anything hot before I went out. Time for coffee, gotta have coffee now

  272. lisa says:

    Decaf? what’s that? Is that like eating the candy with the wrapper still on?

  273. lisa says:

    Hi everyone Back from store, gotta cool off now. Looks like my reeses peanut butter cups melted :(
    Sorry to hear about your situation GinaZ :( I was in a similiar situation last september when I was out of work and didn’t know where october rent was coming from. I had been hired at my new job but the hurricane delayed my employment by a couple weeks and I would not have any money till mid october. I asked a christian friend of mine for help and he only offered prayers and then he disappeared. My lover came to my rescue, surprising as he’s never given me any help before but I just mentioned it casually and he brought it to me the next time he seen me. It goes to show the most unexpected of people can be a great help. At that point an adulterous man was a better friend and saved my a** whereas the deeply religious man who devoted his life to helping others was useless. You have to do what you have to survice and there’s not a worse feeling than not knowing where the rent is coming from, i’ve been there. I hope things work out really quick for you, like today or tomorrow

  274. DorkyGuy says:

    Decaf?? Blasphemy!

  275. SF SD says:

    Hello, sugars. Just answered the previous question (professional photos) and thought I’d give a shout out here. Way too much to comment on right now, but maybe I’ll figure out a way to slack the next day or two and catch up.

    Hope the sugar train arrives for y’all real soon. :)

  276. GinaZ says:

    NYCSB, yes so true! But my gut tells me this SD is not the one for the long term. He’s married and eventually would want to meet in my apartment. I also hate the get a room for a second meet, it’s too escort(ish). His offer is also much less then what my previous arrangement was and what I would like now. It’s also per meet before the allowance. (Sigh)

    But, the weird thing is, I’ve had three wonderful potentials appear from out of nowhere.
    I know it will take time. Still hopeful. Will share any good news when it comes!

  277. Madeline says:

    I’m new to this site (I just joined yesterday), but I’m so glad to see there is such a strong, supportive community here! You ladies (and gentlemen) are simply fantastic!

    In response to the topic question, I am open to whatever the potential SD prefers, whether it’s a GFE or a NSA experience.

    I have a question for some of you more experienced SBs – what typically happens after the potential SD sends you a message? Is a first meeting more like a date or a business meeting? I’d appreciate any advice you could give me.

    Thanks so much! xo

  278. NYC SB says:

    ginaz – if the offer is good… take it… desperate times call for desperate measures… its hard to get a good sd out there…

  279. Silver says:

    Aww Gina I wish you all the best, you SD will come soon just like I hope my own will.

  280. GinaZ says:

    The truth: I’m tempted to accept the Harley mans offer, but don’t want to be blinded sided by the fact I have to suddenly manifest $700 by Wednesday. I zapped my rainy day fund, I don’t have rent despite multiple efforts, and as a single mother, this is worrying me to no end. But, I’m trying to think clearly. Selling my valuables on Ebay, even recycling my cans! I’m hoping by some miracle a wonderful SD will appear in the next few days.

    Any suggestions, encouragement?

  281. jessica says:

    dorkyguy that is just cruel – but i like it:)
    Gina I have just started this search, but from what you are all saying it does not look to realistic

  282. GinaZ says:

    The SD search has been a roller coaster.
    I’m dizzy.
    Will the real SD please step forward (clears throat)
    My potentials are constantly changing, either I nix them before I meet. Meet them and say no. Or, they simply “poof” before we meet. You know endless emails but they string you along in some strange ego massage for them.
    But, I’m hopeful. I’ve decided to not over look the ones who can’t spell, and not to be afraid to say what I want in an arrangement from the onset.
    I’m trying to be patient, even though my finances are quicksand and say no to the 50 something married hotel guy with a Harley.

  283. DorkyGuy says:

    Q) How many SugarDaddies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

    A) None… He has his wife/gf change the lightbulb while he takes his SugarBaby on a “business trip” to the Cayman Islands.

    Sorry folks, woke up in a really random mood 😛

  284. lisa says:

    ok, i’ve got myself ready for my errand, gotta head to the bus stop now. Be back in a couple hours.

  285. jessica says:

    too bad – a man with a little shadow is soooooo sexy

  286. Silver says:

    So are you against all types of facial hair, even a slight goatee as well? *is just wondering*

  287. NitemareSD says:

    I just shaved.

  288. lisa says:

    ok I just got an email from that other potential that sent me the pics of himself but he had a beard and I was just hones with him and said I didn’t like facial hair. He said he had shaved it off about 6 months ago and gave me a link to his website so I could view his company and a pic of him without the beard. I tried to view the site but couldn’t find the spot to click for the pic. I sent him an email and he said I needed to adjust my screen because the website was large format or something. I’ve tried that and it doesn’ work so I emailed him and he sent me the same instrutions again. when I right click I dont’ get a properties menu I get one option about somekind of media flash or something. I dont’ know why this guy can’t just send me a current pic as it’s too much hassal to try to view his pic on the website. I’m going to email him and ask why he can’t just send me the pic.

  289. Silver says:

    Good Morning.

    Well, I suppose that I could go with either or. I looked for a good period of time for a SD but stopped for quite a few months and now I am back on the look out. So for a person who wants such a thing should they really be so picky?

    *shrugs*

  290. NitemareSD says:

    Am I married? Vaguely.

  291. Jessica says:

    that is a perfect idea lisa

  292. Jessica says:

    Nitemare are you married?

  293. NitemareSD says:

    lisa Says:

    July 13th, 2009 at 10:53 am
    You might see me and run the other way, lol

    —–

    Chances are that would be the best possible outcome for you.

  294. lisa says:

    a list of fakes and those looking for quickies a perfect topic for the next blog, lol : Seekingquickieforcheap.com
    Iwanttofakeyou.com

  295. lisa says:

    Nitemare I might consider your offer in October when I get my vacation time but please understand me being reluctant to leave my city and meet someone that I dont’ really know. I have known you on the blog forever but meeting someone in person is a different thing, everyone on the blog knows that. You might see me and run the other way, lol

    ok back to put my makeup on and get ready for my exiting day. I’ve decided to take the bus down to walmart to get some detergent, how exciting

  296. NitemareSD says:

    Its too bad we can’t make a list of the SBs willing to give a one time quickie. That would save a lot of work on everyone’s end.

  297. lisa says:

    just got an email from that potential. made up excuse that he was too busy to get back with me, but I noticed he was on the site all afternoon yesterday and earlier this morning so he could have sent a message and a pic. Asked if i’d like to meet today, and well let’s say I never do last minute meetings. He says he does’t have any pictures (after he said he’d send me one) and offers no description of himself (the other site doesn’ have a spot for eye or hair color so I have no idea what he looks like.
    I don’t think i’ll answer his email right now, as I will wait till tonight and tell him I was busy. lol I don’t want to be mean but I have never had last minute date that didn’t turn out to be a stand up. Last time I went to meet someone on such short notice and they hadnt’ been in touch and confirmed, I got stood up twice and I gave the guy a second chance and he stood me up again. I won’t waste my bus money on a stand up

  298. NitemareSD says:

    Lisa, your other potential got up before you and has been online waiting for you to say you’ll let him buy you a ticket to come visit. In the interim, I have completely cleared my calendar for October.

  299. Jessica says:

    Its too bad we cant make a list of who the fakes are and who the Sd’s are that are seeking a one-time quickie. It would certainly save everyone alot of time! There is nothing wrong with a one-time quickie but if that is what you are seeking than why not just be upfront about it. We are all adults here (or at least I hope so) why not just say what you are really after?

  300. SuthrnExec says:

    Jessica, nothing wring with being picky. And yes, there are lots of fakes – on both sides. If he does come through and meet you for dinner, there chances are increasinginly in your favor of working out – it becomes more of a chemistry-factor at that point. Certainly, there are some potSDs who will meet a SB for dinner and hope for a one-time quickie, so just be aware there are those out there, too. It’s a good sign that he is positive about your advanced degree – he values that and is not intimidated by it. Go for it!

  301. Jessica says:

    Thanks suthrnExec. This guy seems nice and funny, I love that. I definately do not want to pressure him and make it seem all about the money. It really is both things I am seeking- financial and real relationship

  302. Jessica says:

    Thats too bad about your potential for today. This guy has been very enxious to meet, he seems to be thrilled that I have a masters in chemisty and have a job. I definately am not nieve and would not consider sex until I know he is for real. Are there alot of fakes on here? The men I have talked to seem real, it has been me that is not interested in meeting them after I see their picture..I guess Im picky.
    I hope your day gets better

  303. SuthrnExec says:

    Good morning Lisa! Hope you’re feeling better after your shower!

  304. SuthrnExec says:

    Jessica, I don’t think Nitemare is suggesting you have sex with the pot SD as a part of your evaluation criteria. It certainly is your call – and it must remain your call – don’t feel pressured until you are ready. If he said you would discuss over dinner, then he will likely bring it up. If he doesn’t do so by the end of dinner, bring it up gently.

    Should you negotiate or just accept what he offers? That’s entirely up to you. All the components of the arrangement need to be taken into consideration. Most SD’s will end up going above and beyond what they originally propose. If you take a hard line, you have to be willing to see him walk away. There is no set amount – it all depends on what you’re looking for in the arrangement. There are lots of intangibles that you have to consider.

    Good luck!

  305. lisa says:

    Good morning Nitemare, Jessica

    Jessica you will find many man that want to get to know you fast, aka sex, whereas they want to “take it slow” when it comes to providing an allowance

    My potential for today is missing He never would send me a picture
    I emailed him and told him i’m putting him on my”list of fakes” and that we sbs do compare notes and other sbs on the site will be aware of his games. lol I just woke up feeling lousy this morning , kind of sick and dreading the long day.

    Off to the shower for me

  306. Jessica says:

    Are you suggesting I have sex with him first? Ha! I think Im good with getting to know each other slowly and let it develop on its own but in my case – I know an arrangement is what I am seeking

  307. NitemareSD says:

    Let HIM get to know you.

  308. NitemareSD says:

    Jessica, it is my opinion that you should start by finding a really good man. One with refined qualities and kindness who will entertain you in a variety of ways. If he has the means he will give you what you need and maybe all you want. Don’t press him, but let him know what you need, gently if he doesn’t bring it up, or directly, simply and clearly when he asks.

    Let me get to know you and start giving you what you want too.

  309. Jessica says:

    thanks – He did say we would talk about it at dinner. We have already discussed frequency of when we would like to be able to meet someone. He also has on profile the amount for an allowance. When the topic comes up is that something I should negotiate with or just take or leave what he is offering?

  310. NYC SB says:

    Jessica – my advice is enjoy the dinner… he should be the one bringing up the financial part… no matter what dont sleep with him until that part is worked out… most sds will bring up arrangement talk after they have met you and decided whether or not they want to pursue this with you

  311. Jessica says:

    Good morning everyone! I am not sure if this is the place to ask but I thought I would give it a try. I am totally new to this site and have never been on anything like this. I have emailed a few people and exchanged picture but I am meeting a potential SD on Tuesday. We have talked about what we are both looking for, exchanged pics, ect but the financial part, yikes how do you bring something like that up? We are meeting tuesday for a very descrete dinner, any suggestions on how to bring that portion up? I dont want an escort –one time for sex type of relationship. I am in a marriage also but am looking for a meaningful no string arrangement. Is that even possible? Thanks for any advise you may have

  312. lisa says:

    ok my best friend is on the phone, gotta go as this will take a long time ,lol
    Have a good night everyone. Good night Nitemare :)

    I’m going to sleep late tomorrow

  313. lisa says:

    But of course I do live across the street from the fire station and ambulance.

    have surgery at the hospital but have your recovery room in the hotel, sneak out and over to the mall for some shopping, wearing your hospital gown and dragging your IV mobile thingy, lol

  314. Goodgirl says:

    Thats awesome Lisa :) LOL! I can imagine it now…

  315. lisa says:

    funny thing is it would be a good place for men who are cheating because if they happen to have a heart attack while with the other woman, all she has to do is put him on a luggage rack and wheel him over to the emergeny room and split, no embarassing ambulances or reports of who called the emergeny in, lol

  316. lisa says:

    They’re actually building a really nice hotel down the street from me, at the medical center area, not finished yet though, was supposed to open in June. It’s going to have a catwalk across to the mall too and also connect to the hopital. Too bad if you’re in the hospital you can’t have your room in the hotel as it’s bound to be nice and alot less expensive than a hospital room, lol

  317. silly says:

    oh wow ! look what I’ve been missing ! good luck you two.. whatever happens ! btw Nightmare.. I’m just a short flight away…

    lol

  318. Goodgirl says:

    Well, that settles it then. Nitemare will have to come to you Lisa. Maybe you can work out a new arrangement…hmmm…was $500 with mouth shut, right? Maybe he’ll come to you for $250… Just rent a beater of an old car Nitemare. I hear Lisas neighborhood is no good to park a Beamer in 8)

  319. lisa says:

    I’m still here, trying to stay awake. I had a potential date for tomorrow and he’s beenonline for hours but hasn’t got back with me to confirm and still hasn’t sent a pic so I guess he’s flaky. Looks like i’ll be spending my day off tomorrow at home.

    I would like to get out of Houston sometime but with work I can’t. I’m not up for vacation time till october and it’s for one week only as I am a newer employee. I can’t see myself taking off to meet a stranger even if we do chat on the blog, I feel better on my own turf for first meets. And I just can’t go off and leave my bird, as silly as that sounds, I’m responsible for his well being and he’s kinda sick lately, respitary infection or something.

  320. GinaZ says:

    Am I the only one here?

  321. GinaZ says:

    Lisa you need to take chance. You don’t have to give Nightmare your heart just think of it as a good time, a chance to get out of Houston. One day. You’ve been wanting a sugar daddy and who knows, nightmare may “be the one!”

  322. GinaZ says:

    SV, yes definitely that’s a nice extra perk. Mentoring is good!

  323. DreamyPrincess says:

    SV. I am interested in something like that as well.

  324. Goodgirl says:

    SV~ I am :)

  325. lisa says:

    well you know I reserve my walls in my empty dining room for such exhibits whenever my best friend or family stopped by.

  326. NitemareSD says:

    And I thought you were confused and put off by not having received any frontal nudes.

  327. lisa says:

    That’s not it Nitemare, i’m just tired and drained from the day.
    I also never do anything on impulse, did that one time, it costed me my family. The men in my life have always been crazy about me at first and then they discard me. It has to me. I have very little capacity for human emotion anymore and have hardened my heart so much.

  328. NitemareSD says:

    lisa Says:

    July 12th, 2009 at 8:27 pm
    ok I’m a little tired here, not at my best today, just trying to recover from the day and the heat.

    NitemareSD Says:

    July 12th, 2009 at 8:31 pm
    I’ve never been better. I don’t need you at your best, I just need you.

    ————

    I’m getting the not now I have a headache treatment. 😮

  329. married mom says:

    Too bad you are so far, you sound like a blast!

  330. NitemareSD says:

    Lisa and I have not discussed exclusivity yet. Just remember to be the first caller.

  331. married mom says:

    nitemare I leave for a few hours and I already lost you:) hmmm I guess I better hope you forward me on to your friend!

  332. NitemareSD says:

    Its beautiful here in October.

  333. SV *** 190282 says:

    I started reading this thread with the intention of answering the GFE/BFE question… but then came up with a question of my own…

    To date, I have been more focused on a traditional SD/SB type relationship. But, I went to dinner last week (with someone not from here), and we ended up talking for several hours about this business she is wanting to start.

    My question for the SB’s is… how many of you are looking for someone to coach / advise on business matters in addition to the more traditional SD/SB arrangement?

    Thanks in advance for

  334. NitemareSD says:

    And a bird can really spread his wings out back.

  335. NitemareSD says:

    The bus ride from my house to the grocery store is about 10 min. There’s almost never any humidity but they don’t have shelters.

  336. lisa says:

    Of course i’ll need a job, men nowdays don’t want women who don’t work and besides I need my job for security.

    I get days off but they aren’t together.

  337. NitemareSD says:

    Tina, do you have a pink dress that’s easily mistaken for red?

  338. NitemareSD says:

    Who says you are ever going to need a job again?

  339. Tina says:

    I’ll take the offer, I’m 45 mns from NY Hahah im jjk, Lisa go for it, its a great offer

  340. GinaZ says:

    Surely you have days off Lisa, you’ve mentioned this before. nudge nudge

  341. GinaZ says:

    The suspense is killing me.

  342. lisa says:

    Sounds like a great offer but I can’t get away from work, no vacation time for me till october

  343. GinaZ says:

    Lisa that’s a seriously good offer. Go for it!

  344. NitemareSD says:

    Dial those 10 digits and you won’t in Houston for long.

  345. NitemareSD says:

    Phone lines are open. The first caller gets a free round trip ticket to a place that’ll turn her life around.

  346. lisa says:

    But Nitemare’s in NY I think and I’m in Houston

  347. Tina says:

    Awww u guys! lol

  348. GinaZ says:

    Lisa… go for it silly! cute skirts, a gourmet meal and $500! I love that there’s a hook up on the blog:)

  349. NitemareSD says:

    I’ve never been better. I don’t need you at your best, I just need you.

  350. lisa says:

    ok I’m a little tired here, not at my best today, just trying to recover from the day and the heat. :)

  351. NitemareSD says:

    Oh, Lisa, don’t be coy. I’ve laid it out bare in front of the world. Its out and I’m vulnerable.

  352. Nico~346434~ says:

    It’s Lisa and Nitemare….all of us sitting on the sidelines have wondered why not before now but are happy nonetheless 😉

  353. lisa says:

    Hi Goodgirl welcome to the party. :)

  354. Goodgirl says:

    Is it getting hot in here? Or is it just Lisa and Nitemare? LOL 😀

  355. lisa says:

    both pics are nice Nitemare :)

  356. lisa says:

    lol Percy is a spoiled lazy bird. I turned off the ac when I went to work today to try to lower my electric bill. I came home and he had his wings hanging down. I wonder how the common outdoor pigeons survive in the heat, lol

  357. NitemareSD says:

    I am the cute one.

  358. NitemareSD says:

    I’m checking flights from Houston to East Egg right now. You are better off getting Percy back into shape.

  359. lisa says:

    It’s nice to finally put a face with the name Nitemare, a mystery no more

  360. lisa says:

    Nitemare, that’s funny I just had some other guy on the other site send me a number too. I just logged onto to sa and found your message and number.

  361. lisa says:

    I just got an email from a guy who wants me to call him. I never just call people I know nothing about so I’m going to think about it for a while and if I do decide, I will call him in the week as I don’t feel like just calling a complete stranger after a long day at work. And he has been on the site like forever

  362. NitemareSD says:

    Oh my goodness, I just completely lost my mind and sent a pretty girl in Houston my phone number using an SA profile. I think some rules are about to be broken! 😮

  363. lisa says:

    Tina, don’t take anyone’s word till you find out more about him. It sounds a little farfetched when he hasn’t even met you. Most of the sds want to meet you before they set up any arrangement and whereas he might be legit, don’t get too excited. If all the lines and offers I have had on this site were legit, i’d be living the good life now. Alot of guys send out copy and paste emails. I have seen this when I changed my profile and I guess they just went down the list and sent emails and I would receive identical emails from the same guys every time I redid my profile. Mass mailing

    Ask him what his plans are for you, how he sees things going, etc. If he plans to take care of you till you’re out of college, he must have some idea what he has in mind

  364. Tina says:

    Lol ok thaanks Lisa, maybe I will give this guy a try 😉

  365. lisa says:

    It”s a pink dress Nitemare, lol you know it’s my favorite color. I have one red dress I have worn twice, to the moulin rouge in Paris and to a celebration dinner with my parents after the 2000 elections.

  366. lisa says:

    Don’t worry there are no cops on the site, they’re all out fighting crime in my neighborhood.

  367. lisa says:

    oh no you mean I have to fly him?

  368. NitemareSD says:

    I hope there are some lady cops.

  369. NitemareSD says:

    Oh Lisa, from what I hear Percy will be expecting to fly on your back.

  370. NitemareSD says:

    Guys, if you wanna see the prettiest little girl in the prettiest red dress, just do an advanced search for white chicks in Houston, TX and scroll down about 20 or so. But remember, I saw her first.

  371. Tina says:

    Hello everyone! I have a question…are there any cops on this site? I mean this guy just messaged me with an offer which would take care of all my needs till I’m out of college lol, but I dont know I feel weird about it.

  372. lisa says:

    :) that’s very nice Nitemare I will fly up on Percy Airways, lol
    no wait, Percy doesn’t fly much anymore, he’s lazy or sick, one of the two

  373. NitemareSD says:

    Lisa, just for the pleasure of seeing you leave your apartment I’ll give you $500 if you come over. Its a long trip so I’ll let you stay however long you feel you’d like.

    We’ll go some place and have coffee after a gourmet meal that will change your blogging style forever. We’ll watch our favorite Fox News shows together on my TiVo whenever the mood hits us. We’ll spread a blanket on the lawn and listen to the BSO as the light fades to night. I’ll take you to the outlet mall so you can buy every little skirt you can find that fits.

    Afterwards, I’ll answer your emails in a respectably timely fashion even if we’ve already slept together.

  374. lisa says:

    Nitemare, many teachers, especially in Texas get caught up in some risky student/teacher situations. gotta watch those teachers, lol

  375. lisa says:

    Hi everyone back from work. Good to see Nitemare out of lurk mode, lol it took a little more effort to channel him this time.
    Nitemare, can I have 500 to visit if I bring my own happy meal? :) I will even keep my mouth shut

    Well I had a potential coffee date (a downer compared to the lunch dates I’ve had on my last 3 sd meets) but it was a start. However he is starting to flake it seems. He said monday would be best and by coincidence, I am off from work monday and then he said sunday afternoon would be better, I told him I had to work and by the time I could meet him, the coffee place would be closed, afterall it’s sunday, town shuts down at 6. I asked him for a picture for like the fourth time, he said he will send one when he gets back to his computer, sure must be a long walk to the computer. lol Anyway I guess that old man that blocked me again must still be in the corner banging his toys against the walls. lol

  376. NitemareSD says:

    It could turn into an offer if everything checks out. I might forward your info to one of my more palatable associates for consideration. Teachers are sought after in the finer circles.

  377. Nico~346434~ says:

    NC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So good to see you!!!!

    OC ~ OMG!!! HI ~ it’s been forever!!

    Hello to the rest of my SugFam!!!

    Had a great day at the beach today and just relaxing at home now!

  378. Hello Sugars, I’ve been a lurker for quite some time. I’ve enjoyed the discussions and posts which have been insightful, witty, honest and occasionally shocking.

    The whole sugar dating / GFE is really appealing to me for several reasons: 1) i’m looking for a real connection, the kind you can’t fake when you’re drawn to someone and you see the same spark in their eyes. 2) I’m very busy and have had trouble sustaining traditional relationships/courting over a long period. 3) I love to spoil my special lady, always have, and had many joking refer to me as their “sugar daddy” even while traditional dating. 4) I’ve had amazing traditional dating relationships, but finding someone I really connect with is usually preceded by a long string of unexciting, occasionally boring, time consuming dates. I just don’t have the time these days. 5) I enjoy mentoring and helping someone i care for realize their potential.

    However, i’m also hesitant about this kind of relationship since:
    1) The best relationships i’ve found were with someone who had no idea I was well off. I meet them at coffee shops, bookstores, and online. Usually I see if the chemistry is there before even telling them what I do.

    2) I would wonder if someone was sincere since they know the $$ is there before even meeting me.

    3) I have a somewhat public profile. Listed as a “Top [respected profession] is America and having articles about me in the local paper make it impossible to be anonymous within a 50 mile radius.

    So here’s my dilemma, I have no problems being generous. In fact I enjoy it, with family, friends, and loved ones. The concept of an arranged payment or cash for service in an intimate relationship has never appealed to me. I have traveled the developed and developing world and met gorgeous, charming women who offered their company with the expectation of monetary compensation (very affordable by western standards). These women could easily grace the covers of magazines, and I just couldn’t do it. Hell, i don’t even really enjoy strip clubs. I’m mid 30’s, attractive and in great shape and everyone I know is trying to set me up. I’m a romantic, but also a realist with a high sex drive.

    My question to you is, do I belong on a “sugar” site or do you think i’m better suited for something like “millionnaire match/dating” sites (even though I hate having that known about me early on)? The traditional way and regular online dating is just too painful and time consuming these days and i’ve been toeing the grey border for a while… I’d appreciate your complete and brutal honesty :)

  379. married mom says:

    OCSugarbaby,

    No that was not was I was implying at all:) The SD I am involved with is also married so we discretion is #1 for us both. We do not have alot of time to wine and dine one another but the chemistry and attraction for both of us exist. I agree with you in regards to business discussions, I love that he is self made man and I am fascinated with his stories. I am a teacher so the business world is new knowledge for me. The monthly allowance allows me to do those special things like spa days and buying things I would never dream of but because I have my own family that I love very much we dont have the time for 5 star hotels and shopping!

    Nightmare SD is that an offer? hehe I am a teacher with the summers off:)

  380. DreamyPrincess says:

    Okay guys. I am finally ready to do this….this being get some constructive advice on my profile contents: 333295

    I’m going to go do my laundry now, but I’ll be back in a couple hours

  381. Chocolatevenus143783 says:

    HI OC you always make me feel guilty for staying away soo long! Your one of the SB family that makes me feel so welcomed.

    Yes I think London is where I need to be, but it is jut a nightmare. I like my security so need to have a job in place before moving, but it is hard to job hunt from the north on a limited budget. A short notice train ticket to london is approx £135 return ( i think about $250) that is my monthly food budget!
    So if any London SD need an executive assistant – I am your girl! LOL

    Sx

  382. GinaZ says:

    “Nitemare said: “..For $500 I’d think I a girl could keep her mouth shut except to ask for directions.”

    That doesn’t sound good either. Are you serious? Ouch.

  383. Happy Lurker says:

    Hi Chocolate Venus,
    Yes, London is the place for me.
    A golden oldy by one of England’s greatest mambo orchestras.
    There are great SDs over here as well.
    Just keep on looking around.
    A lurking kiss !

  384. NitemareSD says:

    Wow married mom you and the kids could spend the summer out on east egg with us since they are old enough to know not to tell your husband anything.

  385. ~OCSugarBaby~ says:

    Married Mom,
    I think that the picture that you painted was “three short visits” a month for 2K, makes it sound more like hotel sex for money. This is where it goes grey for the SB/SD experience. Sugar dating tends to be different things to different people. The spectrum of experiences varies.
    I myself like to stay on the “right” side of the spectrum so to speak. Where the rainbow of colors are vibrant and sparkly. Long dinners with chemistry and conversation, business discussions that are so enlightening that I walk away learning and teaching a few things to my SD. Spa days, gift cards, 5 star hotel weekends, traveling and a very nice person to call my friend.
    Welcome to the Blog!

    CoCoVeeeee! I have missed you terribly. Don’t stay away so long. No SD? Location is important; London would be a fabulous city to relocate to.

    NC-Perky Boobies it is my friend! Glad you are having fun and enjoying your time with your new SB. So much for being discreet, we now have her name and phone number! What is her street address? Just kidding!

    ~OC

  386. Chocolatevenus143783 says:

    Hi ya Sugar family, lurking from the UK. Dont pop in very often, just because everyone seems to be asleep when I get online..lol
    Anyway, not having much luck with the SB lifestyle, not sure if it is a UK/US difference.
    Would love to have the opportunity to come and live in the US for a year or 2 but not eligable…darn those visas.lol
    So I think it will have to be a move down to London, and find myself an international jet setting SD
    Take care everyone

    Susanna

  387. Goodgirl says:

    ROFLMAO :) :) :) Thats awesome NC!!
    Good morning DorkyGuy! 😀
    Married Mom~ nothin wrong at all…I had a great SD like that for a month once. Do your thing girl!!! 😉

  388. married mom says:

    Thanks Goodgirl:) My kids are older- one is in college the other a sophmore in High School. Both are fantastic, responsible kids, my mom duties are very limited now, the extra money gives me a chance to spoil them rotten and reward them for being so responsible and making good choices.

  389. NC Gent says:

    Thank you GG — ironically, my current SBs name is Jenny :)

    Good to see every one again….

    OCSB — I read over the messages — mere mention of breasts is not enough to bring me out — it has to be PERKY breasts to bring me out — don’t you forget that either lol

  390. Goodgirl says:

    Hello Sugars :)
    I love rainy sundays!! I actually got to sleep in today! Ahhh!
    Married Mom~I’m a single mom. Been hard enough to juggle my mom duties and the Sugar…Good luck to you, and welcome to the blog! You’ll find that every one of us has a different story. There is a very good support system here. (yes, i said ‘duties’) lol.
    Sweet Jez~what does ‘good look GG mean? I’m confused :)
    Nitemare~I’ve been laughing all morning 😀 Thank You!
    NCGent~I believe the number you’re looking for is 867-5309! LOL! 8)

  391. married mom says:

    haha whats wrong with $2000 a month…Im new here, enlighten me:)

  392. DorkyGuy says:

    lol, obnoxious… that stands to reason, being from NC 😛

  393. NC Gent says:

    Wow NitemareSD — $300 plus tolls — does that include a meal also?? If it doesn’t include a meal, can you give me her profile number??? 😉

    $2000 a month for 3 short visits…. hmmmm I am not even going there…

    Hope all is well with everyone — I have been on vacation! I am tan and relaxed but still obnoxious!

  394. married mom says:

    I must be involved with totally different SDs. I am only interested in long term, I do the interviewing and get $2000 a month for 3 short visits. We talk, laugh, drink wine and have fun! email once a day when we dont see each other:)

  395. NitemareSD says:

    I’m a value player, not a bargain hunter. Those $100 guys are bargain hunters. I’ve got a girl who stays over for $300 plus tolls. We do talk and even watch TV together. So for $500 I’d think I a girl could keep her mouth shut except to ask for directions.

  396. married mom says:

    Is anyone on here a married SB? just curious

  397. NYC SB says:

    silly — not a big LV fan… im a shoe fanatic and i adore some christian louboutins… hmmm maybe he should join SA and be my SD… my allowance can be paid in shoes 😀

  398. NYC SB says:

    Nitemare… i must insist on some diet coke and cheese doodles… this way i can stain your pillows with my orange fingers… kinda like marking my nsa territory :p

  399. lisa says:

    Good morning everyone. Headed out to work. Tired as I didn’t sleep well.

    Have a good day everyone

  400. Sweet Jezebel says:

    Only if it involves the sleep part. No point being a N sans SWD. yes?

  401. NitemareSD says:

    The NWSWDE gig is separate from the w/chat come-over, and they are mutually exclusive.

    Vixen sounds like a girl I could really work with. Would you go for the nanny role?

  402. Sweet Jezebel says:

    Aww Nightmare, Nightmare, you sound like a the ultimate dream 8) How can a girl resist? Too bad I got a better offer… I ‘m in talks with a charmer of an SD that’s offering $100 w/o the chat. If you can go lower though (based on current trending) I think we could have an all-out bidding war. Anyway, nice to have your occassional input that makes all the SBs swoon :)

  403. vixen says:

    Don’t worry about breakfast..I’ll bring my lunchables….sorry my price just went up since you don’t have a sleep number bed..as a first rate NWSWD im in a position to demand 125..there is a $35 down payment required..sure you can get this from any escort but would you seriously trust them with your children?? Plus I’ll bring an inflatable doll with me..can you say threesome!!!

  404. NitemareSD says:

    My beds offer a wide choice of pillows. I have no clue what number has slept in my bed. 120 and stay til morning? Don’t expect breakfast.

    Sounds like we can work together.

  405. vixen says:

    Nitemare- I just might be what you are looking for :) How soft are your pillows?? And do you have a sleep number bed? Are you willing to give me 120 if I bring my own snacks and a juicy juice?

  406. NitemareSD says:

    I’ve been looking for the NWSWDE. Nanny Who Sleeps With Daddy Experience.

    Anyone willing to come over in a skanky outfit, chat during sex, then leave for, say, $125? Alternatively you can stay til morning for $115 if you don’t snore or otherwise interfere with my getting a good night’s sleep. I could go a little higher for the right person. Soft drinks and snacks are negotiable in the deal.

  407. Brooke says:

    Hey Lisa, can’t you just block him? Or have you already and is it that he has your personal email and is stalking you there? That sucks, he sounds like a loonie.

    My inbox has been dead lately.. i changed my amount from negotiable to 1-3k..wonder if that has anything to do with it.

  408. lisa says:

    congrats silly
    All I got was told off and blocked by that crazy old man on the other site. I just changed my profile and added no crazy old men who get upset when they don’t get their own way sane men only lol

    Have a good night I’ve got to go to bed soon.

  409. silly says:

    wow I’ve finally caught up on the latest question ! Yes, I’d like a BFE, a rich boyfriend without the ties. I’ve actually found a SD, although it’s not as much as I was looking for, he’s really nice and we have lots to talk about and everything else.. when he met the second time for dinner he gave me a really nice dress and then 3rd time a Louis V wallet, really nice ! I was soo surprised, plus half my allowance for the month( no surprise there ! )
    NYC, you’re the LV fan right ? I can’t wait to show my bff the wallet, LOL
    she’s sooo jealous ! lol

    off to sleep.. good look GG, you’ll find somoene soon Lisa and congrats NYC
    !!!!!

  410. lisa says:

    Hi Ryan yikes he’s probably killing me with his fast food. lol
    I just got finished dealing with an old idiot that has been trying to get me to meet him for a couple months. He’s an old coot that is not looking to be a sd. He wants a much younger woman to move in with him, be monogomous (he looks like death) and to share what he has, but no money help. He wants someone to spend the rest of his life with him but he won’t take my suggestion to find some his age. He told me he;’d help me and then when friday came, he hid his profile and now he just emailed me asking why I didn’t contact him. He even changed one of my emails to him to make it look like I said something sexual. You know how when you write someone and they write back, their email is at the bottom? well he changed some of the words to sexual and sex when those words were not in my email. THen he said he never harrassed me. He then deleted my emails and blocked me, again. He reminds me of a little boy who whenever he doesn’t get his way, he runs to his room. I am concerned as he carries a concealed weapon (he told me this along with the fact that is takes medicine for bipolar disorder along with other disorders. That site doesn’t have a place to report his profile but I feel I need to find someway to report him, he’s nuts.

  411. Ryan says:

    hes only 29

  412. Ryan says:

    i asked how he got his money he said it was from a trust fund and that his family owns a lot of fast food places in texas, where he lives.

  413. NYC SB says:

    im not an expert in anything but i work in corporate restructuring and financial reporting

  414. creek says:

    Dreamyprincess thanks for the feedback. It seems like mentioning the mentoring stuff adds to the discussion and that helps.

    NYC I am an expert in finance/risk management -what do you do?

  415. DreamyPrincess says:

    Cute outfit, check. Confidence to match, check. This princess is ready for the town tonight!

  416. lisa says:

    Yes but some of us have to do the dirty work, lol can’t be all chiefs, gotta have some indians. When a businessman misses a day of work, most people don’t notice, let the city garbage collection miss a day, and you notice it. lol A day without policeman and fireman or a day without an accountant.

  417. NYC SB says:

    i sit on my butt all day and stare at numbers… its such fun!

  418. lisa says:

    I am too busy doing my job at work to get online even if I could, we don’t have internet acess except for the company portal. I also stand all day, not getting to sit on my butt all day, lol

  419. DreamyPrincess says:

    I’m just getting ready to go out with one of my guy friends. Should be fun..

    DorkyGuy…hehehehe yeah…probably not the best. maybe I’ll just shorten my name so you dont have to abbreviate it!

    NYC, at least you can also surf the web while you are working! I only have access to like 3 websites at my job…and they are all related to personal banking…whoo hoo exciting… no, not so much…

    Now I just have to find a cute outfit!! Thats always the worst part!!

  420. DorkyGuy says:

    Same here NYC… worked Friday night and Saturday too. Going to get out and do something tonight, even if it means the business burns to the ground without me!

  421. lisa says:

    Sorry NYC SB I just got home from work myself but I don’t mind working sats as I have no life anyway and I can’t really get around easily on the weekend. Now i’m cleaning the toilet :)

  422. NYC SB says:

    NYC SB is stuck at work on a Saturday… wish i was out doing something anything at all :(

  423. NYC SB says:

    lisa they are not bfs but booty calls …

  424. lisa says:

    one could put on a mcdonald’s uniform, go to mcd, work all day serving nasty customers and earn 50 dollars after taxes, not exactly lifting, lol

  425. lisa says:

    Many boyfriends don’t want to chat or hang out either, many of them just want sex

  426. lisa says:

    That’s a nice though DreamyPrincess but it seems most of the guys are not looking for that. My dreams are all simple, have some savings for emergeny, buy some things for my apartment and myself, maybe a trip in the future. I’m content with my job and really have desire for a high stress position that dominates my life, regardless of the salary. I work to pay the bills, it’s a job not a career. And at least he is offering a decent amoung, not the 100 dollar offers I get, lol

  427. DorkyGuy says:

    DP, good for you!

    ummm… I thought DP would be a good abbreviation for “Dreamy Princess”, but on second thought…

  428. DreamyPrincess says:

    It would be a good amount but, honestly this guy just wanted sex. Did not want to chat or hang out. Wanted me to come over to his house wearing some skanky outfit, have sex, then leave. Thats it. Ehhh… I’m looking for a sophisticated SD that can mentor me and help me realize my dreams.

  429. lisa says:

    I get very few offers like that and when they do, it’s more like 100 dollars a visit which is pathetic

  430. lisa says:

    500 dollars a week for one visit? that’s 2k a month, I can think of alot to do with that as that’s two month’s emergency bill money for me lol

  431. lisa says:

    DreamyPrincess my last sd relationship that lasted a little over a month, well he kinda disappeared on me after our 4th date. He kept cancelling for two weeks after our first 2 dates, then we had two more dates, and on the last date we were intimate and he kinda disappeared. Well he actually gave me a full month’s allowance on the first and second date so he was legit and then on our last meeting he made up something about money problems and gave me 300 and I never seen him again. Odd he was 65 years old, divorced and also deleted his profile

  432. DreamyPrincess says:

    Creek welcome. I would definitely be inclined to respond to an email from a SD like that very quickly, especially if it was a good amount. On the other hand, if I was insulted by the offer, I might not respond.

    I had one so called “SD” email me from my area. Said he wanted me to come over once a week and have sex for $500. First off, waaayyy off base. What am I going to do with $500??? I responded thanks for the offer, but maybe you should call (inserted escort service in towns number) hahaha

    I think my SD has become a poof daddy. Too bad because we had SUCH a lovely time together!! Haven’t heard from him in over 2 weeks or seen him online for quite a few days.

    Anyway. I was just stopping by to put in my 2 cents and to rant about my lost SD.

    If you are going to dump your SB, just have the kindness to tell her, so shes not wondering whats going on???

  433. lisa says:

    Hi everyone Back from work. Ryan I would check him out as Stephan said if something sounds too good to be true, it might be. there is a website called LinkedN which is a contact gathering network for professionals. It is easy to set up so you can look at someone’s page. Most professionals, or at least most that I have known have a linkdN page.
    Many times if you google the person’s full name you will find one listing for their linked in page. it’s kinda like an online resume showing the person’s education, job history, current possition, etc. My lover, ex boyfriend, and last sd all had linked in pages.

  434. NYC SB says:

    Liebchen i wrote back… hopefully its helpful… feel free to write back and bounce off ideas

  435. Liebchen says:

    Hi Sissyphus. I agree, I’m usually happy to find nothing, at least on certain websites. And while there are still things that you could miss, you can add whatever info that you might find to the general picture you have of someone. I still wouldn’t feel 100% comfortable meeting anyone the first time, especially since I am willing to travel to a SD. But, I can try to be as prepared as possible. And I always have my pepper spray, just in case. I like to think it’s not paranoid, just smart.

  436. SisyphusSB says:

    Thus far my average allowance has been zero lol. $5000 per week/month, I could build an empire with that! 😛 I admit, I’ve checked those sites myself Liebchen. Not so much that you are suspicious of that person, but so you can have your good feelings about them confirmed by not finding out anything alarming. :)

  437. Liebchen says:

    lol, thanks NYC I’ve been pondering it a lot myself

  438. NYC SB says:

    Liebchen – got it… let me ponder for a bit… i will get back to you for sure 😀

  439. Liebchen says:

    I just wanted to mention, as far as googling someone to check them out, there’s also a website called zabasearch that’s very helpful in that regard, and also one called pipl. As long as you know at least the person’s full name, I’ve found it to be pretty useful when I’m trying to see if people are for real. Of course, you could also look up the court records of the areas they are from, it’s all public access and many counties have everything online, as well as the sex offender database. OMG, I sound totally paranoid don’t I? :) But it does help put me at ease a little. My mom showed me all of this,lol.

  440. Liebchen says:

    Thanks NYC SB, I sent you an email.

  441. Nico~346434~ says:

    Well, that’s a NICE way get to a head start *dreamy thoughts*.

  442. NYC SB says:

    haha nico … the arrangement lasted a couple of months… so i still have some debt left …

  443. Nico~346434~ says:

    Holy Crap NYC ~ one month and I’m out of debt 😉

  444. Nico~346434~ says:

    Ryan ~ I would simply ask for clarification. I will admit that’s a large sum and, not that you’re worth it, it would seem like a lot to offer out of the gate. I would clarify what he meant and what his expectations are in return.

  445. NYC SB says:

    ryan- there are legit sds that can afford the high allowance… just make sure that he is one of them… my last sd was at 5k a week

  446. Ryan says:

    what is an average allowance for u guys and how often?

  447. NYC SB says:

    Liebchen – i am available to help if you would like email is d_fantassy_girl at y

  448. Trinity says:

    Ryan- Trust your instincts when in communication with a potential. Run a google search and see if anything pops up. I use emailfinder and believe me it is a godsend. Hopefully you have a real name or have talked on the phone? I learned that if they don’t send me a pic or give me a name after being in communication for a while where some trust should be established then I hesitate. Also, usually you can pick up on the picture collectors or fake’s really quick since the red flags come out! Now if he flys out where is he staying? If he wants to stay with you in your own residence then he is a fake…True SD’s will be in a nice hotel! Good luck and we are all here to help! :)

  449. stephan says:

    Ryan: That sounds like a very generous amount indeed. Have you had a chance to ask him about what he’s looking for in return, specifically? Not to say that someone offering that kind of allowance can’t be real, but as we all know, when something sounds too good to be true… Just be sure that there’s nothing blatantly out of the norm – and google his name, etc. Do your due diligence and you should be fine :) Good luck!

  450. Trinity says:

    Liebchen- I think it was OCSugarbaby…but I might be wrong? I went back through the blogs but couldn’t find the information so maybe someone else knows???

  451. Ryan says:

    Hey SD or SB’s… So this guy from Texas sends me a message and we start talking on an instant messenger. His profile says he has 5-10 million and 5-10k budget. He says he flies out to southern california every few weeks and that he wants to pay me 5k a week. I dont know if he means 5k 4 weeks a month or 5k whenever we meet but either way doesnt that seem like too much to be legit or have I just been dealing with cheap SDs in the past?

  452. NitemareSD says:

    Creek – the one thing I do that is different is I never offer a monetary award for the first date beforehand. If there is interest on the date, I give something to show my level of interest and legitimacy.

    Offering money up front just encourages SBs who show up to get the prize and take off. Giving a gift that was never promised has the enormous psychological benefit that comes with exceeding expectations.

    Indeed throughout a relationship I keep expectations below my level of generousity. It doesn’t just work in the stock market.

    It is also very easy to fulfill promises that are below what you know you can afford. There is never hesitation in doing so, whereas when you make sky high promises you are always miserable in your relationship.

    lisa Says:

    July 10th, 2009 at 9:43 pm

    I think if someone took care of my rent, and made it possible for me to have a car and insurance, that would be a nice arrangement.

    —-
    until you hear what I expect in return, that is.

  453. Liebchen says:

    Hi all. I need a little SB advice. I remember someone was offering their mentorship, but I can’t remember who. Would any fellow SB mind if I emailed her off the blog? It’s all a little too personal and specific for this venue. Thanks.

  454. GinaZ says:

    (out of lurk mode) Creek… On the flip side, having gotten offers, even cryptic ones. $3000/$5000 to start shopping. But when I respond back they sometimes go ‘poof’. My sense is if it’s too brief a query it’s likely the SD is sending the same message to 25 girls and it isn’t as personal as maybe what you propose. I think you have a good sense, I’d just take the comments given, and refine it a bit. You are definitely on your way! In general yes, Sb’s may jump at the higher “offer” but I think it can be any feasible range, and you would want to be with someone who really wants to get to know you, not just your wallet:)

  455. creek says:

    Dorkyguy Thanks for your comments

  456. creek says:

    Nico Sisyphus, NYC SB, Lisa Great advice from all of you.

    I think what all this boils down to is the engagement of the initial meeting with a small gift and dinner/coffee but with hints of what an arrangement would look like in the future.

    That way the SB knows that the SD is serious and also has a better idea of what the SD expects. That way she can make a more informed decision about acceptance or rejection.

    I am sure some SBs may have passed up lucrative arrangements inadvertantly and SDs missed some great relationships for lack of finesse.

    Again your critiques/comments welcome.

  457. Nico~346434~ says:

    Sorry guys…no rest for the wicked…working well into the night and only a fraction of the way done.

    Creek….just to add a few more ‘cents’ to the stack if you don’t mind.

    Everybody’s idea of a true sugar date is going to vary vastly….hence the need to be able to have this discussion with somebody. By that I mean communication and expectations are important in ANY type of relationship.

    In my personal experiences…starting out….I didn’t know what to expect and really looked for guidance yet still had a Northern Star that I used to guide my way. I HOPED for a certain dollar amount and, having negotiating experience in my past, I used that experience to my benefit. I started high and he started low…we ended up somewhere in the middle.

    What I would suggest, if you’ve not already made this decision, is to encourage the discussion and ask for her thoughts. Reiterate your intentions as the relationship progresses and engage her in her desires.

    I would completely disagree with the establishing of a relationship over the phone and through email before meeting in person. Some may see it as a waste of time if there’s no chemistry in person but, for me, there’s more to chemistry than just physical attraction. If there’s nothing deep within the person that can keep my attention my eyes will wander.

    Again, these are my rambling thoughts…it’s late and I’m tired so I’ve probably not clearly articulated my thoughts but….don’t judge me cuz I’m beautiful *wink*

    HUGS to all my sugar fam…miss you guys :)

  458. SisyphusSB says:

    Hey Lisa, yes, I find it refreshing as well.

    Like Creek said, one should be open to new people & new opportunities so a first meeting is not a big deal at all. Creek, your right, we are mostly not looking for the love of our lives, but even those who are need to be open to all types of people lest they risk losing what could have been their “soulmate”

    In my response I was just trying to guess what the range of reactions may be and have no clue whether I’m the minority or majority lol.

  459. NYC SB says:

    creek if i may chime in for a second… your approach would suit me… but than again im a business head (work with finances) … most women may not like this… why dont you just send as an initial email (which is what i think this is) that you would like to meet them for dinner to see if you click and for their time you will offer them x amount… than if things go well follow up with the email you sent out

  460. lisa says:

    gotta go now. My friend is coming over for a while. I gotta get her outa here early so I can get to bed, gotta work in the morning

    Good night everyone

  461. lisa says:

    creek that is what the blog is all about, giving each other advice and support :) Good sugarhunting

  462. lisa says:

    I feel that it isn’t necessary to spend alot of time getting to know one person before meeting and seeing if an arrangment will work, thus I don’t think spending months getting to know someone before benefiting is necessary being that this is a temporary thing anyway, it’s supposed to be fun and to fill a temporary need.
    If you are looking for a permanent relationship, you need to take time to get to know each other before getting too serious because there is so much more to be considered, especially if you expect to spend your life with this person.

    It’s kinda like an arrangement is a part time temporary job you take just to meet your needs for now whereas a career is something you get an education to attain because you plan to spend most of your life in a certain career

  463. creek says:

    BTW great feedback everybody….I think I am going to incorporate these suggestions

  464. creek says:

    Actually I did offer a prearranged meeting only for dinner with a gift

  465. creek says:

    Sisyphus, Thanks great feedback But here is my question. If you are looking for that perfect arrangement how would you know if you dont try out a few types. After all we are all here to make arrangements not the love of our lives.

    I could see someone on Match.com asking the know me well enough question but I think the purpose of this site makes the no bs purpose clear. An arrangement could break for many reasons. But should someone make assumptions once reading your profile.

  466. lisa says:

    I reread that part creek and I agree with DorkyGuy that you might want to give the gift first (at least for the first meeting to show you are for real and not looking for free sex and then pull that I don’t have any cash, or next time I’ll give you double )

    I think if someone took care of my rent, and made it possible for me to have a car and insurance, that would be a nice arrangement.

  467. lisa says:

    I agree with you SisyphusSB to some extent but at the same time I can’t help but find creek’s email a little refreshing in the fact that he knows what he wants and seems to understand what an arrangement involves. Any sb should appreciate an email like that being that the majority of emails sds send out are very vague like “hey” or “your beautiful, let’s meet for a drink” and yes they do spell “your’ instead of you’re

    I seem to get emails from guys that are quick to talk about their needs for passion and intimacy but when I mention my need for financial assistance, they disappear. My rule is if they mention sex or any type of phsical relationship, it’s time to mention an allowance.

  468. DorkyGuy says:

    It probably doesn’t matter so much after you guys have raport with each other, but I can see issues with that arrangement for a “first date”.

    I understand lots of SB’s don’t like to be intimate unless the guy has shown her that he is for real. I notice you don’t give the gift until after the sleepover. Also, I would understand if she didn’t want to rush into sleepovers for safety reasons. Sounds like something a lot of people would “work up to”.

    Maybe this is a negotiation where it’s more important to put your counterpart at ease than it is to gain an advantage?

  469. creek says:

    Thanks Lisa. That might be true that the sleepover might wait until after a few meetings. The gift was decent but not substantial (enough to cover rent, car payment and insurance).

  470. SisyphusSB says:

    Hmmm…If I were sent that as a first meeting I would probably agree to meet once to see about chemistry if I liked your profile.
    Again, I’m not the best sample of the SB population because odd things interest me, and that as a first message may seem odd to people.

    It is very aggressive and many may interpret it as insincere, thinking, how could he possibly know me well enough to want to spend that much time with me already? Perhaps if you spend more time explaining what a first meeting would be like, and explain that if the meeting went well, then you would like to have such and such an arrangement.

    I think it would also help if you explained what you found interesting about their profile, to avoid being labeled as a spammer/mass mailer.

  471. lisa says:

    That sounds very nice creek, especially since you are indicating you want to take her to dinner and show rather than just stop over for some action like so many of the sds on here think. I think maybe the sleep over might be a little too soon, wait till you start the arrangement and then find out how the sb feels about that. Also I guess it all depends on the financial gift you offered and what the sb was expecting.

  472. creek says:

    Sisyphus,

    Thanks for the feedback. It is helpful.

    I am someone who likes to view a profile decide whether I like it or not and if I do get to business right away. I know some people find that too aggressive but being a professor of business and entrepreneur always am seeking out that first mover advantage that has thus far worked very well for me both professionally and personally.

    It was my first email to her and went like this:

    Here is how I envision this: We meet once a week possibly a Saturday night stayover. We meet late afternoon/early evening, meet for dinner, maybe go to a movie/show, spend the night and go to a good sunday brunch. I then give you a monetary gift and we go on our way. I can give you [amount filled in] every week (or every other week if schedules are tight) for the next few months and as we develop rapport increase the gift and/or shopping. I can promise it will be fun if you are up for it. Trips will come later once we have spent a few weekends.

    Sugarbabies feel free to comment and critique.

  473. SisyphusSB says:

    Hi creek,

    I myself would probably answer within a few days, but I am very good at sussing people out & deciding whether we are a good match or not. So before he even offers, I would already know what my answer is.

    Some people are not as confident with making judgments about people. If someone was uncertain about a match, or possibly the concept of this all, I could see it taking up to a week to respond. Any longer than that I would start to really question why you haven’t heard back from the person.

    It’s possible the person is just very busy. Also, maybe the person really likes you but was not expecting it to move forward so quickly. It’s hard to say without more details. Have the two of you met? Do you know each other fairly well by now? How long has it been since you made the suggestion?

    Perhaps they are just not sure about the details and are afraid to communicate it with you… I hope this reply is at least somewhat helpful for you.

  474. creek says:

    Thanks Nico Good advice…I am going to try that and see if it works. Will let you know.

    Thanks Lisa for your feedback

  475. lisa says:

    Hi Nico

  476. lisa says:

    welcome creek

    well as a sb I can’t say I have ever had a sd make an offer to me that straightforward but I sure wish they did. I know that if I did get an offer, I would answer it promptly and ask questions to see if this was what I wanted, if not, I’d certainly thank the sd and explain why I was declining his offer. So I really don’t have any experience with that. I am lucky if I get an email but lately they don’t even get to discussing an arrangement. The ones I get are clueless to what an arrangement is

  477. Nico~346434~ says:

    Good evening Creek. I can only respond to how I would act and assume why you’ve not received a response.

    Me personally, the discussion is typically interactive either in person or over the phone but even if it were in e-mail I would be prompt to respond. If I needed time to ‘think’ then I would respond with my ‘thoughts’.

    My ‘guess’ is that if she hasn’t responded it is because it is not what she was hoping for and may have difficulty asking. I could also be WAY off base…just a guess.

    *hugs*

  478. creek says:

    This may be off topic but I wanted to get some responses from Sugar babies:

    Do SBs generally take time before they respond? I proposed an arrangement to someone that involved weekly (every other week) meetings and a specific allowance but did not receive an answer. I would think that if somebody made a specific proposition I would either accept it or reject it right away.

    Do SBs like to mull over before they respond? How Do SDs feel about that?

  479. lisa says:

    He hasn’t answered me back. He just sent me an email earlier today and I gave him my email and he sent those pics and I had to be honest, that beard was ugly, I just said I dont like facial hair. He said he had shaved the beard off, and to check out his other pic and tell him what I think. I couldn’t get his other pic to come up so I emailed him (twice ) and told him the site wasn’t working. He hasnt answered back and that was hours ago. I will have my new work schedule for next week when I go to work tomorrow and i’d like to meet someone this next week. This not seeing my family anymore and rarely seeing my friend is making me very lonely. Then I gotta worrry about that bum coming into the store tomorrow when i’m working to see me.

  480. NYC SB says:

    lisa just go and meet him… you never know some men dont photograph well

  481. lisa says:

    and my best friend (who an be a very boring cheap person too as she had me feeling sorry for her and buying her burgers when she came over and now I find out she’s got 4k in the bank that she won’t touch whereas I’ve got 0) is always working when i’m off and i’m working when she’s off. Can’t talk to her during the day cause of her cell minutes, can only talk about 9 pm and i’m usually tired and getting ready to go to bed around 10.
    I’m bored

  482. lisa says:

    that’s great NYC SB I got an email back from the that I told I didn’t like beards. He said he had shaved it off months ago and sent me a link to the company he works for and said there was pic of him without it. I tried the link and it took me to the company but it was just a contact page, no pictures or anything. I wrote him back but he hasn’t responded. Too bad because he only lives 3 miles from me and I know the building where he works, i’ve seen it. I want to see what he looks like without the beard. I don’t like beards and especially ugly beards like he had grey and black and all over the face.

    I just want to get out and meet someone. I have spent 4 of my last 6 days off sitting at home going nowhere. I’m broke and it’s too hot to just go out for a walk or anything so it sucks. I’m back to work tomorrow. Worried sick about my electric bill because my apartment is 100 degrees if i shut the ac off but if I leave it on it will take an entire paycheck to pay, thus no grocery money this week :( my electric bill was double what it usually is.

    I don’t know how much more of this boredom I can take

  483. NYC SB says:

    well looks like my pot from last night is willing to move forward… i am very very very excited

  484. SuthrnExec says:

    Good afternoon everybody – OC, belated Good Morning to you! I think NC is lying low for some reason…

    I hope everyone has a great weekend and enjoy Saturday which is World Population Day!
    Now, move over and give me some room!

  485. Brooke says:

    Good to know :) Now i just need to find them!

  486. NYC SB says:

    Just got some good news you guys about my pot SD from last night! Keep fingers crossed!

    Brooke – Chicago has the best SDs in the world… even better than the nyc ones … trust

  487. DorkyGuy says:

    lol GG, you’re a bad girl 😛

  488. SisyphusSB says:

    Hi everyone! I thought I would stop lurking and chime in.

    I’m definitely looking for a “BFE” but it is not absolutely necessary for me. How many strings are involved and what level of emotion is present would depend entirely on the person. I’m pretty much a one man guy so if I were in a relationship, it would have to be something with incredible chemistry for me to give up the person I was dating/seeing. When not attached I have no guilt in being involved with something frivolous that may or may not go somewhere.

    Lisa: Do you hate all beards? I’m usually not a fan of facial hair myself especially mustaches, but there are exceptions, like Tom Selleck for the mustache, or Ari Folman for the beard :) Although they may be too old for some people’s tastes

  489. lisa says:

    At least the suburbs are linked to the city by the metra train, I spent alot of my childhood riding that train that used to be called northwestern. Houston has no trains, well other than a tyiny amtrack station in the middle of no where. I haven’t been to chicago since I was 18, I always loved how there was so much to do there. Not much to do in Houston, we dont’ even have a river or lake in the city so no boat rides or anything. Gotta travel 45 miles to get to the water.

    I’m going to get some stuff done and let the computer rest a little. Be back later. Have a good afternoon

  490. Brooke says:

    Yeah, i’ve been here about 4 years. Love the city..in the suburbs now but thinking of moving back now that i’m done school… i miss the energy of the city.

  491. lisa says:

    Well he doesn’t sound like someone I want either even though he’s only 200 miles from me, he’s never contacted me, guess i’m too old for him. lol

    Chicago, Iived there for a couple years back in 74-75 and spent most of my childhood in Arlington Heights. I miss Chicago.

  492. Brooke says:

    I’m in Chicago. I’m not able to travel right now anyway so even if he was Brad Pitt it wouldn’t have worked. Well, I can make exceptions… but yeah. I need someone local or someone who travels here often.

  493. lisa says:

    I’m not surprised as he’s another Texas sd. Where are you at? I’m in Houston

  494. Brooke says:

    Yeah the whole thing is just wierd to me. Oh well glad i was able to share.

  495. lisa says:

    I don’t see anything wrong with his profile but he sounds cheap.

  496. lisa says:

    Brooke I see him now, maybe I had the wrong number. He sounds a little into himself and the third pic is funny. I don’t like the idea that he gave his girlfriend 200 when he seen here, his budget is 1-3 k so it sounds like he;s cheap, wow 200 dollars lol

  497. lisa says:

    I get that posting comments to quickly all the time, lol hey that guy’s profile is pending approval

  498. Brooke says:

    Has anyone ever got the message “you are posting comments to quickly- slow down” haha

  499. Brooke says:

    Thanks Lisa! Sent you an email..

  500. NYC SB says:

    brooke – d_fantassy_girl and y place

  501. lisa says:

    that’s terrible Goodgirl, shame on you

  502. Goodgirl says:

    My current ex boyfriend is on his way over to pick up the last of his things…Is it bad that I “left” a pice of lingerie out that he never got the chance to see me wear? 😉

  503. lisa says:

    Brooke feel free to email me at kittykatcalvin and the Y place

    I just sent that potential a nice response that I was not into facial hair and I wished him luck

  504. Brooke says:

    Well, it’s hard to explain. It’s more funny than anything- I can’t figure out if it’s serious or not. His email was normal but one of his pictures has GOT to be a joke and his description is odd. Can’t explain it, you’d have to see it.

    Oh well.. i’m not pursuing it..just wanted to share it.

    On a side note.. i’m seeking advice on something that is too personal to post here, if any SB’s would be willing to email in private with me, i’d just like to get some input on something.

  505. lisa says:

    ick I just got a reply and some pics from that potential and he is not my type at all, actually looks more like that homeless guy that a sd. I don’ t nasty unkempt beards and it looks like he lives in a trailer. He has had a sd before and understands the concept but he’s just not it, how do I tell him that in a polite way? Maybe just tell him that I don’t like beards?

  506. lisa says:

    Yes what is it that bothers you, let us see.

    I just got a email from a new potential, sent him a reply, waiting to hear back.

  507. ~OCSugarBaby~ says:

    Brook, NYC SB is right. Maybe you can just share the questionable statements not the profile. 😉

  508. lisa says:

    Back from doing laundry. Glad to be away from all that screaming and those undisiplined kids.

    Brooke just tell us the part that is strange. We like to share our concerns about sds on here and I have had fellow bloggers set me clear on particular emails I’ve received.

  509. NYC SB says:

    Brooke – maybe just share the part that you want us to look at?

  510. Goodgirl says:

    OC~ thanks :) shakin my booty right now! LOL!! 8)

  511. Brooke says:

    Is it ok to share a SD profile number on here? I received an email and am not sure how to take his profile. It’s strange.

  512. ~OCSugarBaby~ says:

    Lisa Penelope…. Sending you happy thoughts and positive sugar energy…. LOADS of it to spare! XXXOOO

  513. lisa says:

    I cleaned out my closet saturday and it looks the same. I can’t throw out good clothes but I have no way to get them to a donation site so it’s either throw them in the trash or leave them stacked in the closet. I’m getting bored with my clothes as I have nowhere to wear them. I’m wearing an abercrombie skirt, peach tank top, and mint sweater with some floral tights and some cute pearls. where am I headed to? the laundrymat across the street. I like finally having somewhere to wash but I hate the noise of the kids in there, running around screaming, running into people, no manners at all. Be back later. gotta get over there now

  514. ~OCSugarBaby~ says:

    Maybe we should talk about BOOBIE’s and NC Gent will come out to play. I know it is Friday and he is Lurking.

    Good Morning Suthrn!

  515. ~OCSugarBaby~ says:

    Goodgirl: Go to the February 2009 archives of SA and find the Valentines Feb. 14th Romeo Video that Stephan loaded. I love dancing to that song!

    Penelope, I know that I can get lost for hours just going into my closet and trying on stuff that I haven’t worn in ages. It is almost like shopping in your own closet. I find stuff I totally forgot about! Some stuff I just go… Whoa what was I thinking! LOL

  516. lisa says:

    OC if I had a car, yes I would DD because my fridge is empty :( I can’t get to the grocery store because it’s too hot to get out and stand at bus stops so i’ve used up my 10 dollar grocery budget in two days eating at mcds. My work hours have been cut so i’m on a super tight budget and have to save everything for august rent. I will be at the grocery store working tomorrow but i’m broke already. The food pantry down the street has closed and the nearest one is about a mile away , not on the bus line. Everyone here, no matter how poor they are , has a car.

  517. ~OCSugarBaby~ says:

    Penelope, you crack me up! But the question is now would you DD for food? I think not. I was not judging, I was asking if the line in her profile was the best possible light in which to paint the picture of herself with words. I will always be nothing but honest if someone asks for feedback. Said with pure sugar of course. ~OC

  518. lisa says:

    my ipod is great when i’m riding on the bus because I just stick it in my purse, at home , I have not where to hang it so I don’t use it. I tried tucking it in my underwear but it kept falling out.

  519. Goodgirl says:

    OC~ I think i’ll turn up my radio! Great idea!!!
    Lisa~ be happy. I lost my i-pod :(

  520. lisa says:

    edit half my “food” came from the dumpster

  521. lisa says:

    OC I don’t have a stereo, just an ipod :) and i’ve turned off my ac to try to cut down my electric bill so my apartment is too hot to move around in, it’s 90 in here already.

    Hey and as a child half my good came out of the dumpster behind the grocery store, my dad went dumpster diving all the time.

  522. ~OCSugarBaby~ says:

    The bargining goes both ways…if the SB is only about the $$$ she may also be considered something less than a SB. There are good and bad men and women out there behind the sugar curtain…

  523. lisa says:

    Good morning OC I just lost my entire post :(

    Kitkait I love your profile, your pics are eyecatching and your profile very intriging and unique. :)

    Darn I had written a nice post and it;s gone and I don’t feel like retyping it

  524. ~OCSugarBaby~ says:

    Good Morning All!

    Hi elle, thank you for the kind words earlier. You are very sweet. I loved helping you, I am just an email away my little grasshopper! LMAO

    Lisa Penelpoe, blow the sucky attitude off and just enjoy the wonderful person that is YOU! Hit the profiles and shake things up, I know you know how. Put on one of your favorite mini-s and dance around with Percy. Turning up the music and dancing around always makes me feel better!

    Ladies, if they are bargining with you THEY are NOT SD’s. They are Trolls….REALLY!!!

  525. Goodgirl says:

    Darn. 8)

  526. Goodgirl says:

    Elle~ haven’t met you yet either, so welcome to you! :)
    OC~ Thank you for reminding me of my manners. Bad bad goodgirl. B)

  527. Goodgirl says:

    kitkait~~Oh my goodness! I am sooo sorry! I took a look and here’s my constructive critizism. I’d knock out the 1st sentence and the last sentence all together. You don’t need them. Also, the middle picture may draw the wrong kind of guys out for you. My 2 cents :)
    By the way, Welcome to the blog!!

  528. elle says:

    lisa, to answer your question i agree with NYCSB. i’d feel more respected if an SD was going for the higher amount – that he truly is into this, genuinely liked me, etc. when they try to start bargaining or opting for the lower amount it’s easy to feel cheap and that’s the opposite of an SD/SB relationship.

    keep your thoughts positive lisa! i’m sure you’ll find a great SD who will make you happy :)

  529. ~OCSugarBaby~ says:

    Welcome kitkait!!! The Ladies just got carried away in their conversations to see your comment. Sorry! Where are our manners… LOL
    As far as you asking for profile feedback? You paint a very colorful picture. I am not sure about the first line, but I would hope you were kidding about the trash can! You are lovely! Enjoy the experience and join in the blog conversations! ~OC

  530. lisa says:

    ok this has been a sucky week. I had 4 days off and nothing happened. I’m ready for monday to come. A new week, new opportunities

  531. lisa says:

    Thanks NYC SB but I cannot travel as I have to work. I won’t have vacation time till october and it will only be a week. I have not emergency fund for if I got stranded or anything. And Houston isn’t like other cities, it’s not easy to get to the airport without a car. Taxis are expensive and airport shuttles are hard to get to from where I live. We tried taking a bus to the airport one time (my family) and it was a regular city bus so it stopped constantly and we had to get out about 7 blocks from the airport and walk along the street with our luggage. There are shuttles to take people from the parking lots to the terminals but not any buses I can get to. In Houston, if you dont’ have a car, you aren’t going anywhere. We don’t even have trains or anything out to the suburbs or galveston or anything

  532. NYC SB says:

    lisa i struggle with the ranges as well… if someone has a 1-3k range i would ask for the 3k… thats just what i am mentally trained for the highest possible amount in that range… but most sds with that range are really willing to offer up to 2k… of course everyone is different but that has been my experience when talking to them online

    bargain hunters… i have had some tell me that they can get a “better arrangement” so yes some of them are bargain hunters but also what that tells me is that they are only looking for an escort type relationship…

  533. NYC SB says:

    Lisa… you are worthy of an SD dont beat yourself up like that… i really hope you find one very soon… if i were you i would start thinking about travelling to meet an SD… i know you are opposed to it but it seems like there arent that many legit SDs in your area :(

  534. lisa says:

    Thanks Goodgirl

    I was having a random thought and want the sbs opinions on this one. If you ask for a allowance in a varying range, for example 1-3 k , does the choice your sd makes, give me a certain opinion of him?

    let’s say you want 3-5 hundred a visit and he picks 3 hundred, do you feel he’s bargain hunting or cheap? if he gives you 6 hundred, do you have more respect for him? I haven’t dealt with any of this as of yet but am curious to see if i’m the only one that would feel a little less enthuised by the one that picked the lowest amount he could.

  535. Goodgirl says:

    I said positive energy Lisa Action Penelope! :) LOL!! ~POSITIVE ENERGY!!~
    –That goes for ALL my sugar friends today! :)

  536. lisa says:

    thanks Goodgirl but my lover is wonderful and the only man i’ve been able to keep the interest of for over 4 years. He isn’t a sugardaddy though so that’s sad. I wish I could find a sd with that kind of staying power.
    My inbox has had nothing but flakes the last week. I’ve got one potential left and I think he’s flaking on me too because I mentioned an allowance, but after all he mentioned needing intimacy in his life and talked of spoiling me with affectiona and kisses and all. that won’t pay the bills and afterall i’ve already go someone that meets the affection need.

  537. Goodgirl says:

    Lisa~ We haven’t officially met, but i’m pretty sure you’re too good for both of them. 😉

  538. lisa says:

    edit on my last post , first paragraph was my lover, second one is that bum that’s bothering me, not to be confused with the first paragraph

  539. lisa says:

    My lover just called. He’s feeling sick and can’t come over. Odd as I woke up feeling kinda sick myself, didn’t really want to get up, must be the weather.

    Yes I gotta avoid that guy, he embarrasses me. I mean I know I’m not much to look at and maybe not worthy of a sugardaddy but I think I deserve more than a homeless drunk.

  540. lisa says:

    my ex ruined mine too and that’s why I ended up living with my parents and not being a leaseholder and they could run over me. My ex stole the appliance, blinds, and anything he could remove from the apartment.
    Sending you luck Goodgirl

  541. NYC SB says:

    lisa – yikes… thats terrible i hope he doesnt do that

    gg- fingers crossed

  542. Goodgirl says:

    Rent. My ex ruined my rental reputation 5 years ago. It’s still following me. :) I am in an intense situation today….I only have 20 days left to be where I am, and I haven’t yet got it nailed down where we’re going. I found the perfect place for us (my daughter and I). Now, it’s just a matter of workin out the details…

  543. lisa says:

    back from mcd’s with the pancakes. Yikes i’ve got to be careful. There is this homeless man who has been bothering me at the bus stop that I wait at when I come home from work. He is hideous but I feel like if I talk bad to a homeless person. well I might be that way myself someday. He keeps asking me out, he lives behind the pawn shop down the street from me. I went into mcds and there he was and he came up and hugged me (yuck) and said he had told his friend about me and that he was going to come visit me at work. He knows where I work because I have to wear a uniform so of course the store name is on it and it across from the busstop. Now he knows where I live too. I have to work tomorrow and i’m afraid he will come into the store. Some of these homeless people have mental problems so I’m kinda concerned. Gee

  544. NYC SB says:

    GG this is a house you are trying to buy?

  545. Goodgirl says:

    *negotiating…oops. see how riled up i am today?!? LOL!

  546. Goodgirl says:

    I got a call. It’s not lookin good kids…. gonna need some more luck. I’d better call in my face book team as well on this one. 😉
    I’m glad i’ve been in sales. My negotiatining skills are being WELL utilized this morning!

  547. lisa says:

    Going to run over to mcds’ for some breakfast. I wish I could get to the grocery srore for some real groceries as i’m running out of money eating out everyday. it’s too hot to go anywhere though

  548. Goodgirl says:

    Thanks Lisa and NYCSB 😀
    NYC SB~ I think you shouldn’t worry about how much experience a sugar has. It’s all about the person. You said you had a great time…we’ve all said that every sugar experience is different. Make this one your own, and live it up the best you can girlfriend :) Let him explore…thats what this is about. FUN!!

  549. lisa says:

    NYC SB I understand that, it’s too bad we can’t be more forward in what we expect as it would make it so much easier than having to be subtle like the site and all sites require.

  550. kitkait says:

    hi… am new to this… will someone look at my profile? 344232 is my number…not sure how you look at someone else’s but I’m told there is a way. thanks!

  551. NYC SB says:

    good luck miss goodgirl :)

  552. NYC SB says:

    My concern is not that he doesnt know how the SD/SB thing works… because he has had an SB in the past… im more worried that he will want to “explore” the site some more… and he is a great catch! not to mention in NYC SB’s sweet range when it comes to allowances…

  553. lisa says:

    Sending positive energy bzzzzzzzzz, sorry I just got shocked, lol sending positive energy your way

  554. Goodgirl says:

    Hi NYC SB, Lisa and Suthern! :)

  555. Goodgirl says:

    Good morning Sugar Family!
    I need everyone to keep their fingers crossed for me today!!! I believe a little in will power. LOL! I need everyones help on this…(we’re crossing our fingers that I get the house I picked out) I need positive energy people! :)
    Thanks!!!!

  556. lisa says:

    good morning SuthrnExec please send a few donuts my way :)

  557. SuthrnExec says:

    Greetings all – just wanted to say hello and let you know that I am still alive and well, checking the blog when I can. Just been busy making the donuts!

  558. lisa says:

    Good morning everyone

    NYC SB that’s great about your date. I wouldn’t worry about him being on SA for less than a month. The guy I met on the other place had only been on the site for a week and even though it only lasted a month, he was great and understood the sd concept. I am much more concerned about those perpetual sds that have been on the site for years and never change their pics or their profiles.

    Gotta hop in the shower now

  559. NYC SB says:

    Hi everyone!

    I had a wonderful sugar date last night… this man is truly wonderful and he asked me if i would like to see him again… My only concern is that he has been on sa for less than a month so I am hoping he is serious about pursuing this with me

  560. Happy Lurker says:

    Yes I have The English Girlfriend Experience in my life.
    My SB likes it with all the trimmings.
    But then I have another remarkable American Girlfriend Experience without that romping between the sheets. Both are very rewarding emotionally.
    This blog once was hilarious and full of fun.
    Off late it seems to have been turned into a kind of “complaints department” of SA. All the positive posters have fled.
    Posting used to run into over one thousand, now it is a pitiful third.
    It is like that famous blues by Muddy Waters: “The Thrill has Gone”!
    This blog has outlived itself, it seems.
    By the way, why do women send me nudy pics and then ask for money.
    Why do women immediately offer their body, steamy windows and so on.
    It seems they are starved.
    Here is a new song `The Sugar Quality has Gone`.
    Sugar life is hilarious.

  561. DC says:

    It sounds like my kind of film!

  562. Brooke says:

    DC I have seen “The Girlfriend Experience” … it’s definately worth a watch, although it was a little different than I expected.

  563. DC says:

    Hi everyone-

    Funny but The Girlfriend Experience is the subject line in my profile here and I can’t wait to see the film!! Anyone seen it yet?

    The GFE is what I try and offer an SD. THE GFE without the drama and strings. I think it’s okay to have some emotional attachment, at least for me I have to like the guy and if I am intimate with someone it’s hard for me to not feel some attachment. But it means putting any negative emotions that come with it on the back burner. No jealousy, resentment or hurt feelings.

    If a man is going to help me out and be my sugar daddy then when I am with them I like to just spoil them. No grief, no drama…no “where have you been for 3 weeks” if I don’t hear from them. I usually tell pot SDs about my non sugar boyfriend so that they don’t have to worry about my becoming attached and clingy.

    Still waiting to get together and be with my SD. We met about 3 weeks ago then he went on vacation. We were going to try for next week, then he said he might go out of town and I was starting to worry he was gonna flake on me, like most of the SDs I meet at SA. But he swore he will not do that and even sort of jokingly offered to pay a deposit which I thought was cute. I do hope this comes to fruition because he is a gem. Like I told him, I feel like I won the SD jackpot.

  564. Goodgirl says:

    LOL @ Stephan!

  565. stephan says:

    Goodgirl: hello and I second DorkyGuy’s name change LOL

    DorkyGuy – i’m being helped by some sugar lurkers in the NSA – it’s a confidential arrangement 😉

    Hellooo Lisa :)

  566. Jasmine says:

    i will be back ppl! i need to step out real quick :)

  567. lisa says:

    Hi everyone
    Hi Stephan

    wow I fell asleep for awhile

  568. Goodgirl says:

    *out of lurk mode for a moment*
    Are you seeking a GFE/BFE arrangement?
    ~Yes. Sort of… I want a part time boyfriend that will ‘help me out’. I don’t need an allowance…I need ongoing treatment for my financial problem. LOL! :)
    DorkyGuy~you need to change your name to *FunnyGuy 😉
    HI STEPHAN!!!! 😀

  569. DorkyGuy says:

    How did Stephan’s comment get through? I asked one of my Arian brothers at Verizon to block all of his internet traffic.

  570. stephan says:

    hi Lisa.

    There is no one moderating your comments. if one of your comments doesn’t go through, it was AUTOMATICALLY BLOCKED. Just wanted you and others to know there’s no “moderation nazi” censoring comments 😉

  571. Jasmine says:

    im back from feedin my kids real quick

    hello gail and have fun tonite! :)

  572. lisa says:

    I had a full basket Gail, but now i’m getting 0 messages and actually haven’t received but one reply on SA as all my potentials are from 4you. The one that contacted me from SA was explorer or someone using the same name and he wanted me to kick and spit on him.

    Have a good evening Gail

  573. Gail says:

    Lisa….time to fill your basket with new potential SD….always keep it full and overflowing : ) Okay….getting ready to leave : ) will catch up with everyone later……

  574. lisa says:

    Gail how do you aquire SD friendships? I have found that any many I meet no matter what site I was on wants nothing to do with me when it’s obvious there is no chemistry or he’s not interested in dating me. I’ve had guys that I’ve chatted with for months (back when I was doing regular dating) we got to know each other really well and when we met we had a great time as friends, but after a few dates, they disappeared. I have found that if the man doesn’t think of you as sb or girlfriend material, they want nothing to do with you no matter how much you have in common. My last sd never writes or calls me even though we had great conversations on our idential politcal and social views.

  575. lisa says:

    darn it , Percy had some nude pics he wanted to share

  576. Gail says:

    Dorky Guy….many SBs would welcome a GFE relationship plus sugar without the sex…: ) I absolutely love and value my SD friendships. And don’t change your approach and ask for naked pictures…lol…you will be blocked…: ) And I agree Dork…you may need to go to different website for the type of relationship you are looking for, cause you just don’t seem like the SD type based on what you share here. That’s just my opinion…I may be wrong.

    Jasmine….I forgot to say hello to you!!!! I saw that you were on yesterday when I was in lurk mode. I hope all is going well.

  577. lisa says:

    DorkyGuy I could send you the nude shots a potential sent me on the first email, oh wait he’s a guy, I dont’ think you’d be interested. Anyway there are plenty of almost nude woman on the site, should be no problem finding one, lol

    Gail I envy you, my best friend never wants to go out to dinner after work. If she stops by to see me, she just looks at my window stalking her ex boyfriend while drinking up all my sodas. The only place she wants to go is to cheap bars full of losers

  578. lisa says:

    Gail the last of the potential sds is about to fall off the tree. 3 eliminated, mr nudey, mr make date and then ignore my email (was supposed to have lunch date today), and mr same pic on every site for 4 years is missing in action so i’m going to delete him as he’s online nonstop but doesn’t write back. Last one hanging is out of country and we have been exhanging emails but it seems like he thinks dinner and exercising together is tradeoff for bringing passion back into this life. lol If that’s the case, I will buy my landlord a dollar burger next month and give it to him as rent, lol I’ve had 4 days off this week and all have been a waste,nohting to do

  579. DorkyGuy says:

    Hey Gail, absolutely :)

    To be honest, if I was just casually dating someone not in an SB/SD relationship, I’d probably still sprinkle the sugar. I get a tremendous amount of personal satisfaction from helping someone that I care about.

    My impression is that if I want my definition of GFE (without being clingy), this may not be the best place.

    Whether it’s the true definition of an arrangement or not, “no strings sex” seems to have become the default definition of sugar dating.

    In most cases where I mention to a pot SB that I am not expecting sex, I don’t hear from her again. It’s the exact opposite of the reaction I expected.

    I’m not looking for “love” or a LTR… mostly just someone to hang out with and go do things that we would mutually enjoy doing. Become good friends with hopefully some chemistry. But, without “no strings sex” as part of the equation, it’s as if SB’s become confused about what the point is.

    Maybe I should change my approach and start asking for naked pictures? 😛

  580. Gail says:

    Yes….highly unusual to find me 2 times in 1 day….lol….
    I am waiting for my friend to get from work. We are going out for dinner tonite and will most likely go to Lake Tahoe for the weekend.

    It has been extremely hot in Cali too…thats why I had to leave the state to go on vacation. Hopefully the mountain weather will be cooler.

    And Miss Penelope….I know you are capable of shaking your own sugar off the sugar tree. For awhile there your middle name was ACTION : )
    lol…..

  581. lisa says:

    Hi Gail:) wow i’ve caught you online twice today :) shake some sugar sprinkles on me please as I need it. I just paid my electric bill so my checks missing in action. I need a cold northen to move through town.

  582. Gail says:

    Life is not fair. Things happen and each person is allowed to voice their feelings, thoughts and opinions. Lisa’s life has been much different from yours and mine. Try not to take it too personal DorkyGuy.

    Tell us whats been happening in your sugar life? or better yet your search for a GFE as it seems that is what you are looking for: ) and if you find her would you still sprinkle her with sugar?

  583. lisa says:

    you should enjoy your time together and then respect each other’s private life when apart. No jealousy or stalking

  584. lisa says:

    DorkyGuy I was dumb and naive for marrying him in the first place. He was from the middle east and married me for a green card. Being shettled and controlled and not allowed to date till I turned 18, I was stupid. I was going to report him and leave but I sought advice for a church program and they prayed with me that he would change. They told me he would become a wonderful husband. He left me and sent me to live with my parents who dominated me for the next 14 years. He wanted me to have an abortion and i’m sorry I didn’t take his advice as I now have a daugter who hates me and is poisoned by my parents. My daugter is a fine outstanding person that graduated cum laude from high school and is doing well but won’t even look at me.

    I spent many years looking for a husband but I’ve grown to love my privacy and freedom, not sure I could ever live in the same house with anyone again.

  585. DorkyGuy says:

    Elle, I like that… GFE/BFE when together, but not clingy. Perfect.

  586. elle says:

    Are you seeking a GFE/BFE arrangement? Why or why not?

    I’m on the fence about this one. If I wanted a BFE I’d go find an actual boyfriend and have the real experience. But I’ve been in several long term, serious relationships and I’m trying to have something more nsa and simple, not as many emotions. Although I think there obviously needs to be a connection and the people must genuinely like each other in a special way. When an SD and SB are together then it should be like a GFE/BFE otherwise it will feel like the SB has been hired for a service and nothing more. It’s when the people are apart that the nsa part comes into effect….no clingy-ness, no constant”check ups”, etc. Just my thoughts.

  587. DorkyGuy says:

    For the record, men like your ex-husband make me angry.

    Few things make me angrier than an absent father or a man that uses women.

    Not only because they reflect badly on my gender, but because I understand the responsibilities of being a man, and I know the damage they are causing.

    I wish you the best in finding a quality man next time around.

  588. lisa says:

    well I guess i’ve just had bad luck with men. I’ve always been the giver and received nothing in return. Heck my ex boyfriend was the first I had to actually take me on a date. The men in my life just walk way, my ex husband walked off a month before our daughter was born, he certainly didn’t look like he was suffering as he vacationed with family while I went back to work when my daughter was 2 weeks old. Yes I have chose badly in the past and that’s why I won’t settle for less than what I want and am harsh with potential sds sometimes but that’s too bad, they would have been a waste of my time. I know there are some men out there who understand the sd/sb relationship. It’s not free sex or paying for sick sex acts, it’s helping each other and enjoying each other’s company but with the knowledge that we are both there for a need to be filled and it’s not a long term relationship.

  589. DorkyGuy says:

    I could say the same about the women in my life.

    The difference is that I understand that the responsibility for my bad experiences with women lies with me. I chose badly, and ignored red flags early on. I know that it would be unfair to you for me to take my bad experiences with individual women *that I chose* and generalize it to all women as a group.

  590. lisa says:

    well my ex showed no remorse. He didn’t show up at my house with flowers and an apology, he showed up and tried to pin me to the bed. Just excuses that his adult daughter’s didn’t want him to date and needed him to stay home with their kids while they went out partying and making more babies. He sure doesn’t seem sad. He’s been married several times and left all of his wives.

    The men I come across are users that use women and never look back. I have yet to meet one that has a concious or feels any obligation.

  591. DorkyGuy says:

    “It’s either nsa or sa, when emotions enter the situation, someone will get hurt and most likely it will be the woman.”

    It is a common misperception that it is usually the woman most emotionally traumatized in a relationship. That’s patently untrue.

    Statistics show that newly separated or divorced men are *the single highest demographic* at risk for suicide… even more at-risk than teenagers, the elderly, the disabled, the homeless, and other at-risk groups. Newly divorced men are somewhere between 4 and 10 times more likely to commit suicide than the women coming from the same relationships, depending on the part of the world.

    There are all kinds of reasons for this.. and there are bad apples on both sides. But I think it’s grossly inaccurate to portray men as a group as emotionally void and/or prone to victimizing women.

  592. lisa says:

    I dated a guy last year that was obsessed with me, treated me better than anyone and wanted exlusiveness. a few months later he suddenly couldn’t date because his adult daughters needed him. My last emails went unanswered. Last month I found an email from him and was excited. I read it and he wanted to be lovers again. He came over and tried to jump me, no apology for leaving me, just excuses, and no he didnt want to start dating again,movies, dinner, evenings together, he wanted to stop by whenever he could get away from his baby sitting duties of his two grown daughters that now lived with him. I suggested we could have some sort of arrangement but he wouldn’t accept it as he wasn’ that kind of guy. He has disappeared again after opening up old wounds. So no more giving my heart to anyone. I desire no real connections as they are only temporary, live for the experience as long as it lasts

  593. Jasmine says:

    so true lisa so true

  594. lisa says:

    There’s nothing sadder than being a part of someone’s life and having that connection only to be abandoned the moment the relationship doesn’t work for the other person anymore.

  595. lisa says:

    Yes there’s nothing worse than when a man showers us with affection and wants to be with us all the time and then drops us for no reason because he wasn’t looking for anything serious. And the ones that want us to be exclusive even though they are obvious not thinking of a future with us is even worse. It’s either nsa or sa, when emotions enter the situation, someone will get hurt and most likely it will be the woman.

  596. GinaZ says:

    Are you seeking a GFE/BFE arrangement? Why or why not?

    Initially I would respond by saying no, but I realize that is not the case. I am looking for some semblance of a BFE, but in order for this to happen, there would absolutely have to be chemistry, and the SD would respect me and treat me well. I’ve been surprised by the variety of men. My profile is looking more for the summer adventure, but I’m thinking beyond this now. Who knows maybe the BFE will be the real thing.

    On another note, I do think moderators on a forum/blog are important for a variety of reasons. But that being said, the moderators should be more involved and maybe participate as well.

  597. lisa says:

    Have a great evening NYC SB, spraying you with sugardust

    He has a breathing problem though, weezes all the time and has shortness of breath whenever I pick him up to hug and kiss him. I think he has a respatory infection. His tail hangs down all the time too

  598. DorkyGuy says:

    Imma chime in and say I’m looking for GFE, or at least a “connection” while we’re together. Not afraid of a bit of an emotional connection, as long as both understand it’s not long-term.

    Think that turns off a lot of the SBs though because it comes across as too “relationshippy”. May have to change my thinking on this one if I actually want to find someone.

  599. Jasmine says:

    good luck nyc!

  600. Jasmine says:

    percy in my opinion is living the life of luxury

  601. NYC SB says:

    off to a sugar date… keep your fingers crossed sugar fam

  602. lisa says:

    I miss my family :( no word from them in over 3 weeks. Percy used to make me tired trying to catch him to put him back in his box but he’s so lazy now that he refuses to fly, wants to be lifted out of his box and lifted back in. I should through him outside to deal with the hot sun like the other birds, but he’s spoiled sitting pretty in ac comfort with his food brought to him. lol

  603. Jasmine says:

    i just finished doing my excerise for the day,chase my kids around the kitchen table and around the house,man am i poofed! :)

  604. lisa says:

    I’m still here I just had to take a quick bath

  605. Jasmine says:

    and everyone left!

  606. Jasmine says:

    im still here

  607. lisa says:

    I hate m o d e r a t o r s geesh they have no one posting the way it is. It seem’s everyone is gone and it would be nice have an update on how everyone is doing on their sugar search.

  608. lisa says:

    I had posted that my friend goes out drinking and driving and killed 2 people a few years ago and she still hasn’t learned anything. I guess the blog doesn’t want to offend drunk drivers or something

  609. Jasmine says:

    u really want to do that lisa? :)

  610. lisa says:

    It seems this blog is dying and I guess they are trying to censor what I say too, I think i’ll move to iran

  611. lisa says:

    I try to stay out of the sun as I burn easily

    I hope my last post posts, I hate m o d e r a t o r s

  612. lisa says:

    We’re best friends but are so different. I want a quality man who is generous and classy, she wants a younger guy for sex and always ends up being dumped when the guy finds a woman around his age. She is still chasing her ex that moved out on her last year. I never go with her to bars as I will not get in a car when she’s been drinking (she had a dwi accident when I met her a few years ago, killed two people, but has not learned anything) she doesn’t go to nice clubs, she goes to dumpy neighborhood bars that are mostly illegals (she has been a legal resident for over 30 years) and they buy her drinks and she sits on their laps and all, and then she wonders why she can’t find anyone to love her. She thinks i’m crazy and in danger by meeting guys online. I think she’s in danger picking up guys when’s she’s drunk

  613. lisa says:

    We’re best friends but are so different. I want a quality man who is generous and classy, she wants a younger guy for sex and always ends up being dumped when the guy finds a woman around his age. She is still chasing her ex that moved out on her last year. I never go with her to bars as I will not get in a car when she’s been drinking (she had a dwi accident when I met her a few years ago, killed two people, but has not learned anything) she doesn’t go to nice clubs, she goes to dumpy neighborhood bars that are mostly illegals (she is Mexican but a legal resident for over 30 years) and they buy her drinks and she sits on their laps and all, and then she wonders why she can’t find anyone to love her. She thinks i’m crazy and in danger by meeting guys online. I think she’s in danger picking up guys when’s she’s drunk

  614. Jasmine says:

    my best friend just came back from houston on monday and boy she is darker than the last time i seen her and to top it off,she gotten bit by something on her back and she literally had to go to the hospital here in chicago to see what was wrong with her back

  615. Jasmine says:

    sheesh

  616. lisa says:

    I have never seen it this hot in july. And we still have the hottest months of august and september coming up. It’s even hot here in october. I’m tired of not being able to get to the grocery store or the mall. The busstop shelter is gone so a trip to the mall involves standing out in the hot sun on the side of the road waiting for the bus, whenever it shows up. I had to deal with this friday and yesterday and my umbrella didn’t even keep me cool. So I can’t really get out anywhere. My best friend has a car but we always have different days off and she never wants to go anywhere except to some dumpy bars on the weekends and I am not into bars, especially those full of illegals that are trying to get in everyone’s pants.

  617. Jasmine says:

    i felt like that when i went to california in 2005. never will walk in california heat again and it was in august when we went there. man by the time i got to my grandfather’s house i fainted on the bathroom floor

  618. lisa says:

    62? It is 80 here at midnight. It feels like 109 hear and the electric is being strained and they’re wanting us to cut down power consumption to avoid power failure. My ac never stops running and it’s 85 in here. took all of this weeks check to pay the electric bill, it’s ridiculous. If I shut it off when I go to work, then it will take hours to cool because the system is almost 40years old. I would love to see a cool breezy day so I could take a walk or get to the store but you step outside and you’re soaked with sweat.

  619. Jasmine says:

    i will it was 62 last night

  620. lisa says:

    Boring I’ve got so much time off this week which would be great if I had some sugardates but i’ve nothing but dead leads. I’ve xed off 3 of my potentials. One was supposed to meet me today for lunch but then didnt’ answer my emails from yesterday or this morning. The other 2 were string alongs. one left to possibly meet next week.
    It’s over 100 degrees here so I can’t go out send me some cool weather please :)

  621. Jasmine says:

    hi lisa how’s ur day?

  622. lisa says:

    Hi Jasmine, I didn’t notice there was a new topic. I too prefer NSA as i’ve given up on traditional relationships as they seem to leave women doing all the work. My life has been a series of unfinished chapters with family and relationships. I never find out what I did wrong when a boyfriend breaks off with me so care not to get too involved with anyone as that would be like changing the channel before the show is over

  623. Jasmine says:

    yay! im actually first

    Are you seeking a GFE/BFE arrangement?

    No im not beacuse im afraid to becoming connected tto the person more than supposed to.so i rather keep it plain nsa

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