9 years ago
Sugars Seek No More Drama!

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Illustration fromSeekingArrangement: The Definitive guide to Sugar Daddy & Mutually Beneficial Relationships”.

Committed, long-term, traditional relationships can be a beautiful thing… but I’m sure we all have our own sob stories of heartbreak resulting from relationship drama.

It takes a big dose of reality with a side of wisdom to take the leap into the valley of Sugar Daddy dating. One of the most unique aspects about this way of dating is that it brings people from all ‘classes’ and backgrounds together in mutually beneficial  relationships; and as social stratification grows wider in these economic times, could this be a way of bridging the gap?

Most are here to meet an end without committing to unrealistic expectations, or sacrificing all dignity with a purely platonic transaction.

Gray area there most certainly is! But let’s face it, the world is turning a new leaf, and it’s all about accepting the gray area – no more black & white vision.

One of our very own Sugar Baby bloggers has gotten a lot of flack lately… She posted her story on The Daily Beast a few days ago, and has got the whole blogosphere abuzz with sugar daddy chatter. Everyone from the New York Times to Salon.com has been questioning the Sugar Daddy lifestyle; as either blatant prostitution, or the evolution of modern dating…

Read “My Sugar Daddy” by “Melissa Beech” HERE.

Question for All: A woman who has a 7 yr old son and 9 yr old daughter from her marriage of 11 years called our billing office the other day. She said that a few months ago, her husband divorced her without much notice, and she recently discovered that he is now living in an apartment with his 22 yr old Sugar Baby, whom he met on SeekingArrangement.com The curious, polite caller, who says she’s now 36, ended the call by blasting our site and its members as “depraved and selfish”.

There’s always two sides to every story, and one might say that this SD would have left his wife inevitably, sugar or no sugar. Does anyone have any thoughts about ‘rules’ for married SD’s & SB’s? Can some marriages be considered “depraved”? Should people be more “selfish” before they decide to get married – possibly preventing future turmoil?

Sugar Babies:

“What percent of interested SD’s actually make good on the spoiling promised on their profile?

How do you get past the time-wasters without making unreasonable demands up front?” -BettiergirlDD

Sugar Daddies:

Would it turn you off if a potential Sugar Baby asked for support right away?

Would you rather romance a SB and spoil her somewhat spontaneously, or provide her regimented support?

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403 Responses to “Sugars Seek No More Drama!”

  1. Reap says:

    This is an excellent article! I hope to check back for more

  2. Vickers says:

    Great blog! You have some real quality information here. I’m usually not one to spend too much time reading blogs but I spent the last two hours here, LoL. Keep up the good work

  3. Krum says:

    So my husband has found a new hobby. I think its pretty cute, hes now into rock tumbling. He bought all these ugly rocks, and turned them into something fabulous. Well my question is, when is someone too old to be playing with these things? I mean wouldn’t you think it sounds kinda wierd that my husband plays with rock tumblers? Anywho, he got the idea from one of his buddies at work. I get a chance to do girls not out with my girlfriends now more often so I guess im not really complaining cause I missed hanging with my friends ever since we had the baby in all.

  4. Jeniffer Harris says:

    I was searching for this tooth advice on this all day.I am glad I found you on google. I bookmarked your blog! I’ll be back to read more of you blogs in the near future.

  5. sweetredhead says:

    I am off to take that drug test for my new job. Faxing the results to Beach LOL. What a girl has to do to get a drink sheeeh ROFL

  6. sweetredhead says:

    You have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find the prince. I have been lucky. But I ask questions and have my “test” You can tell alot about someone by talking to them and asking questions. If they are “fake” you can usually tell. Always go with your gut feeling. Something doesn’t feel right, move on.

  7. latinsugarbaby says:

    tell me, where is a good place to find a real sugar daddy? I have been strung along so many times my heart is really hurting. I meet up with a SD, he makes promises, even promises like saying i’ll be put on his payroll and be helped with my business…..then the excuses start! I don’t understand! I am a real sugar baby with a big heart and it just keeps getting stomped on and broken. Any advice anyone???

  8. sugarbun says:

    What a great thread I’ve learnt a lot from u guys! thanx!

    Had a really nice dinner with a new SD this wkend, looking forward to more good times!

    Enjoy the holidays everyone!

    p.s one piece of advice for Lisa, I’m sure things are tough but all this whining is really not attractive. Look on the bright side of life, focus on the positive and be grateful for what you have (owning a computer puts you way ahead of a lot of people in this world!) and good things will come to you.

  9. BlkButtafly says:

    There are soooo many different types of SDs out there I wouldn’t be worried about the ones that back when you say you are new to this or that you don’t want to jump into the physical aspect first. I’m the same way, I even make that known on my profile. Just keep thinking positive and DO NOT compromise.

  10. sweetredhead269443 says:

    Do what you feel is right for you. If they don’t reply back its their loss. Stick to what you want.

  11. FlowerGrl says:

    Hello everyone. I’ve been following the blog for a few days now and I’ve learned a lot from everything you all have been posting. I was a little hesitant about trying the whole sd/sb thing at first, but ended up getting a few messages on the second day. I was sending messages back and forth with a few gentleman and everything seemed to be going well. They were replying and when asked what I was looking for, I was straight forward and honest. They were fine with this. Then, when I was either asked or I just told them that I’d never done this before, they stopped replying to me … I was very clear about what I was looking for and that I wanted to take things slowly at first… I wanted to tell them not to worry about me not holding up my end, but thought it might make me seem a little sketchy. Are most of the men going to cut me off once they find out that I’m completely new to this or is it just the fact that I don’t want to jump into the physical aspect of it all asap? Blah. Sorry for writing a book. Haha.

  12. SouthernGent2 says:

    The email messages will probably drop off a good bit with the holidays coming up. Too hard to meet someone when there are family obligations for both sd and sb. But I think its a good time to find some time to message and narrow down some new prospects to meet in early 2009.

  13. SuthrnExec says:

    I have observed less email traffic on here on weekends – maybe people are away from their computers more?

    MASTERPIECE, thanks for the props! Don’t recall seeing your name around – are you aka another name?

  14. march says:

    i understand.. i know.. i think i made it a little more me tho.. i think i was asking for so much and normally i wouldnt do that.. u know… y cant u just b w me.. haha

  15. sweetredhead269443 says:

    no one is getting many responses its the holidays I think. Don’t change what you want just to get someone. Be yourself and the right person will respond :) never change yourself for anyone.

  16. march says:

    i know right.. masterpiece.. i have people looking at my site but no ones sending me a message… ive changed it twice now.. should i not say everything im looking for in it?idk what to do. i mean im a really good person i think,.. i think i just try to hard.. uuurg

  17. sweetredhead269443 says:

    It is one way to get to know us I agree and for us to get to know them. Not everyone likes to “put themselves out there”

  18. MASTERPIECE says:

    If the other SD’s were smart they would engage and talk with us the way SuthExec does!

  19. sweetredhead269443 says:

    not this blog, it has a lot of info about the SD/SB relationship issues

  20. march says:

    thank you.. i did take a look before i posted this but it was mostly about christmas dressing up. u know… i dont think a guy would wanna see me in panties or a thong and such. lol. but i do like the santa hat.,. maybe me sucking on a candy cane. thatd b hot i think. lol.. or just make me look like a fat ass. lol

  21. sweetredhead269443 says:

    read through the whole blog there is some great advice there and touches on your questions

  22. march says:

    im new to the sd thing… does anyone have advise? neways, im a really nice young guy.. 19 actually.. i always smile and i know i can make someone really happy u know,.. its the whole money thing… how do you ask without sounding like thats all you care about??? i mean i want to actually meet people and hang out and stuff too but i would like someone to help me out and possibly take care of me too u know.. i mean thats kinda y im here.. for someone to help me and ill try and help them.. u know..

    like go on trips with them mainly just be their company.. but how do i ask for help and when should i ask it? if someone can help id really b thankfull…..:)

  23. march says:

    i need a sugar daddy

  24. sweetredhead says:

    poor suthrnexec his inbox is going to be full lol. I hope his kind nature and exception soul is never taken advantage of. I will personally kick their butts.

  25. SuthrnExec says:

    You are very kind – thanks!

  26. CHOCOLATE*KISSES says:

    ~to Sweetredhead, SweetasHunni & SuthrnExec I KNO I’M NOT PART OF THE CHAT CLICK

    BUT I ENJOY READ Y’ALL POST ….AND SuthrnExec : UR PROFILE IS THE BIZZ(HOT) U SEEM TO HAVE A BEAUTIFUL SOUL WHICH IS HARD TO FIND , HAVE,OR KEEP IN LIFE ~THAT’S HOT & UR SEXY 2 ….Sweetredhead NEED HELP MOVE’N 😉 I’LL HELP YA …

    BE GOOD 2 UR SELF *CHOCOLATE KISSES*

  27. sweetredhead says:

    I am moving back to TN lol

  28. SuthrnExec says:

    here’s you a clue – # 214200 in TN

  29. sweetredhead says:

    I don’t think I have ever seen your profile :( Have no clue to even know where to look. I am sure its very cleaver

  30. SuthrnExec says:

    I spent hours creating mine – guess mine wasn’t cute enough since I didn’t get a note from sweetredhead :-)

  31. SuthrnExec says:

    SweetasHunni, I agree with NC – more is better, just don’t write a book.

    Sweetredhead, I think you’re right, common courtesy is no longer so common. Technology probably enables that to happen to a large degree. Online we are anonymous so it makes us bolder and braver and sometimes more rude and less concerned and courteous. However hi-tech we find ourselves, the old adage is still true, “You’ll draw more flies with honey than vinegar.”

  32. sweetredhead says:

    I spend hours looking at profiles. some are really cute. I only message the ones I find interesting. I usually make a comment on something in their profile that caught my eye. you would think you would get at least a response even if not interested, I am not always interested just likes the profile or the comment. I think common courtesy is a lost art these days. Its sad. just the word Thank you is lost on some.

  33. SweetasHunni says:

    Thanks NC

    I wish I’d read your advice before I sent my message. The message was about the same length as your posting and I’ve yet to hear a response. I know he read it shortly after my sending it and took a look at my profile but that was it. So paragraphs are the way to go?

  34. NC Gentleman says:

    Hi SweetasHunni — I think the longer the note, the more interest in shows on your part, and the guy is going to be more interested in you…. but then again, you don’t want to sound desperate. I like it when I get a few paragraphs from a potential SB – great to know more early :)

    Good luck with your cute potential SD!

  35. CARTIER says:

    im sooo tired of being stood, up, talkin for days back and forth…. if these guys are so wealthy, is a plane ticket asap to much to ask for… i like chatting online and on the phone but people change once u meet them!!!1

    i kno, i have a wanna be SD, calling my phone every week, but it wont work cause he lied to me….. hes not very wealthy and said after we hung out 3 times he can’t afford me(300 a month) …. i jus wanna be happy and i wasn’t asking for much, i mean he was my first off this site!

    now i kno im worth so much more i jus need the right guy that understands!!!! anyways good luck all, i hope i find a SD for Christmas!

  36. GothicNC says:

    Sweetredhead, that’s great news! Good luck. :-)

    “Containment Area for Relocated Yankees”, lol. That’s the only city I’ve ever been to where you’re safer on the street at 3am than 3pm. There was not much crime, at least when I was there, but there were some scarily bed (and aggressive) drivers! 0_0

  37. Cookie says:

    Oh my gosh… thanks everyone for the advice! You’re all absolutely right… we met on a SD/SB site so he should not find offense to the question. I’ll be sure to bring it up during our next convo. I have no clue why I was so nervous about it!

  38. Nc Gentleman says:

    Hi Sweetredhead — you are right about being seen by someone else on here — that they were on here too… but there is always a chance that someone might come on looking for a suspicious husband or bf who lefts trails on the computer…. that person would have nothing to lose for “busting” you.

  39. SweetasHunni says:

    Hi Bloggers

    I’m pretty new to this and was wondering, how long or short should my message be to my potential SD? Should talk about our similar interests or should I wait till they show an interest? Like I said I’m new to this and want to make sure I do it right. Plus the guy is really cute and I don’t wanna screw it up LOL:)

  40. sweetredhead says:

    that’s great MishBocaRatonGrl good luck to you :) I didn’t mean that comment for you sorry. Thought it was a different person.

    Thank you Gail :)

  41. Gail says:

    Good luck sweetredhead. I know you will do well…crossing my fingers for you:)

  42. MishBocaRatonGrl says:

    sweetredhead- He doesn’t want to Jump into an Arrangement, we have never physically met, he’s in Miami, 40 minutes away. We’re kinda just talking a bit, here and there, nothing is set in stone, no kind of real arrangement in the makes. I think he just wanted to do something sweet, it wasn’t a bid on me.

    We still speak, and I told him how much I appreciated it, and we talk everyday, he’s asked nothing of me, nor does he expect anything but my happiness.

  43. sweetredhead says:

    Morning Gail :) I know I talk to much lol. I been up for awhile. Just got a call from a chiropractor in the area i had sent my resume too. he is impressed with my experience, wants me to meet with him tonight. Possibly to do talks out in the public about chiropractic and do screenings. I am very excited. Wish me luck.

  44. Gail says:

    Morning Red….you and the ladies had a lot to chat about last nite. You are no longer new to the blog…(smile) I just woke up..CA time 7:37am.

  45. sweetredhead says:

    Its understandable why SD’s do not post their picture as NC Gentleman said some are high profile. Would you want a business associate, patient, client knowing your personal life? BUT If you think about it, if they see your picture on this site, well how did they see it. Because they were here too lol.

  46. NC Gentleman says:

    please excuse the grammar…. should have proof read… so if you’re an SD… I meant.

  47. NC Gentleman says:

    Hi Cupcake — I live in the Containment Area for Relocated Yankees (I hope you know the acronym), so we are essentially close neighbors.

    Regarding premium membership for SDs, if you don’t have a premium membership and you post a picture, you get 10 free emails, but I think that is read-only not send, but I am not sure. So if your and SD, and don’t have premium, you likely aren’t very serious about this.

    Regarding posting a picture, I don’t post a picture because I am recognizable in the local business community as well in my field of practice. I do offer a picture in the first email that I send. I think most men here don’t want to post a pic for similar reasons and I wouldn’t weed them out on that… google is a great way to find out about people, because if they are indeed successful, they probably come up on google a lot — I come up several hundred times, for example.

    Best wishes in your search for the perfect SB or SD!

  48. dreamer says:

    you guys write too much! i cant keep up anymore :(

  49. GothicNC says:

    Cupcake, I’m near Chapel Hill. Practically neighbors. 😉

    As for the photos, if I do wear the short skirt, it would be with stockings and a long-sleeved shirt. My rule that I’ve used since I was a teenager is, of these three things:

    short skirt
    low cut top
    very tight

    An outfit for daily wear should only have one of these. For clubbing or when I want to be racy, two of the above. I never wear all three unless it’s for my boyfriend and I’m not leaving the house!

    Unfortunately, I don’t have a little black dress. I just can’t find one that fits properly. I think I’ll wear a snug-fitting but not too low cut top with a semi-short skirt and stockings, all in black. Hopefully that will create something close to the LBD effect.

    Thank you all for the advice! :-)

    MishBocaRatonGrl, congratulations, wow!

    SweetasHunni, I don’t think you’re wrong at all. What kind of sugar daddy won’t spend $20 so he can contact potential SBs? Probably a cheapskate at best, and at worst, a fake.

    I should mention that bad teeth aren’t always due to bad hygiene. Some people have naturally soft teeth that frequently have problems even when they’re properly cared for. Being malnourished as a child can have that effect too.

    That being said, any guy who has enough money to be a SD has enough money to get his teeth fixed!

  50. Chrisohbabyy says:

    ppp1256,

    i’m in Union, NJ

  51. ppp1256 says:

    chrisohbabyy : What city are you at?

    Gail: you are dead on….

  52. sweetredhead says:

    wow was looking through some of the photos of SB’s for the first time. It actually looks like soft porn out there lol. not trying to offend any of you. just my opinion. If you haven’t looked, go take a peak. its amazing. Now I understand why SD’s are getting burned, stop looking at those lol.

  53. sweetredhead says:

    oops never mind then MishBocaRatonGr. there was another Anonymous bad mouthing here a little while ago. was referring to her not you.

  54. sweetredhead says:

    that’s great Anonymous. but are you going to hold up your end?
    if you accept a “gift” from a SD you have a obligation to them. Sorry but I don’t like to see anyone used, SD or SB. It gives the sugar daddy relationship a bad rap. And makes it harder on the rest of us who are honest and genuine. All I have seen you do is bad mouth the SD’s that is why I am asking. Hope you don’t take it the wrong way, just the way I am I say whats on my mind like it or not :)

  55. MishBocaRatonGrl says:

    Opps, that above was me…

  56. Anonymous says:

    Hello girls :)

    Oh boy! my bday is in two days, and a potential SD bought me a brand new mac book pro !!!

    yay

    I hope I get some other nice goodies this year, God knows I deserve it.

  57. Cupcake says:

    NC Gentleman & GothNC, what cities do you guys live in? I’m in Raleigh.

    To the poster who asked about SD profiles without pictures, they usually always offer to send a picture to your email address immediately if you are interested in talking with them.

  58. NWgirly says:

    lol yea winter is my least favorite season, I always feel a little depressed around this time.

  59. sweetredhead says:

    I am one of those people who think on both sides of the spectrum. I do get a little confused sometime lol

  60. sweetredhead says:

    lol mina

  61. NWgirly says:

    lol oh my goodness I feel so stupid for not thinking of it that way, because I feel a little uncomfortable about having my pic up too but never mind lol

  62. sweetredhead says:

    don’t you like how I answer my own questions.

  63. Mina says:

    That’s awful… No wonder the SD search is getting to you, you need a little natural sunlight in your life!

  64. sweetredhead says:

    I don’t exactly like having my pic on the site, because what if someone sees me that I know. ok I just thought of something, if they see me then they were at this site too lol, ok never mind

  65. sweetredhead says:

    night lisa

  66. NWgirly says:

    night night lisa sweet dreams

  67. NWgirly says:

    Where I live it’s always rainy especially now = [
    Kind of depressing.

  68. lisa says:

    Good night ladies. The nyquil is starting to take effect, can’t keep my eyes open much longer. Going to watch tv and fall asleep. :)

  69. sweetredhead says:

    AnonymousLady its not worth our time. same with everything else in life, you have to take the good with the bad. You weed through it. There are some really great guys on this site. take your time and they will find you and you will find them. putting them all in the same category is not the answer.

  70. lisa says:

    My pictures sometimes look good on the cell phone but when I upload them to the computer and they are enlarged, I look ugly.

  71. Mina says:

    NWgirly, you’d be surprised what you can accomplish with a self timer on a webcam and a sunny day, lol

  72. NWgirly says:

    And Mina lol, I agree with you there lisa all my pictures on my profile of from my cellphone even though I have a webcam I think the lighting in the bathroom is better for taking pictures then anywhere else in the house.

  73. chrisohbabyy says:

    sweetredhead i 1000000% percent agree with you on that…i have to say i’ve been guilty of posting vacation/bikini shots & the mail that i got was nothingggg but trash!! Any man can go by looks but it takes a quality guy to take that one step and find out about a woman ….not just cause he wants to hop in bed with her.

  74. NWgirly says:

    Thank you for the words of encouragement sweetredhead and chrisohbabyy

  75. Mina says:

    chrisohbaby – It’s those “brown sugar” guys that think they are so creative, and so sure you’ve never heard that before…

  76. sweetredhead says:

    They let the quality ones get way because men go by looks only. The quality SD’s are looking for more than that. Thats what I tell myself lol

  77. lisa says:

    I take terrible pics. I don’t have a camera, just a cell camera and I don’t have anyone that I can ask to take pic of me for my profile. I have alot of pics though.

  78. sweetredhead says:

    I have a great personality too, but oh well. The right SD will come alone and appreciate me for who and what I am. And all the sorting through will be worth it :)

  79. Mina says:

    NWgirly – don’t get discouraged! Some guys decide it wont be a good fit before even talking (their loss) but you shouldnt waste time, energy, effort worrying about someone like that & their opinion anyway.
    Some guys prefer petite brunettes, some Asians, and some like Barbie blondes… Stubborn men, lol

  80. sweetredhead says:

    take your time NWgirley the right one will find you if your patient. new sd’s come on all the time

  81. sweetredhead says:

    I think its the picture I have on my profile, its dark and of course i am not a tall skinny person either lol. Alot of these sd’s want arm candy. I am attractive yes but i don’t fit the body type they want.

  82. NWgirly says:

    I have had it about 2 and a half weeks

  83. chrisohbabyy says:

    NWgirly

    I don’t think it’s a minority thing. I’m African American & White/English. & i get a fair amount of mail…maybe it’s just a compatibility thing. I’m sure you’ll meet someone soon enough.

    If i have one more guy address me as Brown sugar!

  84. lisa says:

    it’s not personal, 99% of the messages I send out (well thought out messages) get 0 response. the guys always read them but very few ever write back to even say thanks but no thanks.

  85. SweetasHunni says:

    Aww hunni don’t talk like that. How long have you had your profile up?

  86. sweetredhead says:

    redhead here, you would think with all the guys who say ” I love redheads” I would get a better response lol

  87. lisa says:

    Of the 4 guys that I have met, 2 contacted me first, the other 2 I contacted first

  88. NWgirly says:

    Yup and I get ignored most of the time. I wonder if I’m really that ugly lol

  89. lisa says:

    I’m white, blue eyed, blond and have had little success.

  90. sweetredhead says:

    have you messaged any of them? The ones I have gotten responses from I messaged first

  91. NWgirly says:

    Well then goodness I have no clue lol.

  92. sweetredhead says:

    I don’t know about that. I am a white girl and I have not had too much success. Think I got lucky with this one. I have had only 3 messages for three Different SD in my mail.

  93. sweetredhead says:

    that was a question lol I don’t want a sugar mama wow what a typo there

  94. NWgirly says:

    Unfortunately I believe the fact that I am a minority(african american and puerto rican) is the reason for my lack of success.

  95. lisa says:

    I actually bought some of those heel protecters a long time ago and tried puttingthem on my boots but i’m not exactly useful at putting things together and they fell off. lol at least it’s not like the chair I put together that a friend of my husband’s fell through when the chair collapsed. That guy went straight down and broke my nice chair. weep weep the guy was ok but who cares. he broke one of my chairs. lol

  96. sweetredhead says:

    I don’t know if they have the same problems, thinking about looking for a sugarmama instead of a SD lol

  97. sweetredhead says:

    That’s great mina yes I am being patient because he seems like a really great SD. I have no problem waiting.

  98. SweetasHunni says:

    Also don’t get me wrong I’m definitely an equal opportunity lover but is it me or are there very few minorities (black, spanish etc) on here?

  99. lisa says:

    I have actually had 2 guys that were listed as sugardaddies contact me about wanted to meet an older woman and be spoiled. I think they were confused or something.

  100. sweetredhead says:

    buy little black rubber pieces and super glue to the bottom of the heel and use black perm marker to cover any scuff marks (works for black shoes or boots)

  101. SweetasHunni says:

    I wonder if the people on here looking for sugarmomma’s have this same problem?

  102. Mina says:

    Sweetredhead – its good that you are being patient and it may pay off very well for you!
    It took my SD several weeks to be able to clear his schedule to make time for me.. But I’m glad I didnt write him off because I’m now a very happy, very well taken care of SB!

  103. lisa says:

    i dont’ think the standard member guys can respond to messages. Also if the guy has been on the site for more than a few days, there is no reason why he can’t pay to have a premium membership. I have sent very few messages to blue guys and got zero back, I am not sure that they can even send messages.

  104. sweetredhead says:

    not me. I agree with that, if you have millions why can’t you upgrade lol. Or maybe they have it because they don’t spend it and then that doesn’t make for a very good SD does it lol

  105. NWgirly says:

    I haven’t been successful at all, so I couldn’t be of any help, Sorry = [

  106. lisa says:

    Ihave several pairs of kitten heels but since I walk alot, the heels are worn down. shoes in perfect contition but heels messed up. I am a good shopper and get my shoes at good prices so gettng the heel fixed would probably cost more than buying new shoes. Pointed toes, lol, when I wear those, my daughter acts like i’m going to stick here. Gotta love pointy toes. I love ankle boots but the ones I have are stilleto healed and therefore require something to hold onto whether it be a date or a shopping cart. lol

  107. SweetasHunni says:

    I’m wondering is it wrong to discriminate and only respond to guys with premium profiles? The light blue just makes me believe the guy is to cheap to cough up an extra 20 bucks for more privileges. Anyone sucessful w/ a light blue guy?

  108. sweetredhead says:

    and a pointed toe :)

  109. sweetredhead says:

    oh he is legit and so are the excusing its the kind of Doctor he is. which I am not going to mention (for his privacy)

  110. SweetasHunni says:

    I agree w/ sweetredhead kitten heels would be perfect! if they’re strappy, even better:)

  111. lisa says:

    Hope you get to meet him sweetredhead. It’s always hard to tell when they cancel whether they are legit and things just come up or if they are playing. When I first joined this site, I had one guy stand me up twice. he even lied and said he was there and I know he wasn’t because I would have seen him (that is if he looked like his photo) and he would have noticed me as I was the only woman sitting alone at the coffee shop. He said he only saw one woman sitting alone but the decription didn’t fit me. I was wearing a pink sweater dress black boots so he couldn’t have missed me.

  112. sweetredhead says:

    Hi NWgirly, just us girls hanging out and chatting lol. man we sound pathetic

  113. NWgirly says:

    Hello everyone I’m back from a nap, that makes me sounds so old but I hadn’t slept yet. So how is everyone?? I hope all goes well for you GothicNC.

  114. sweetredhead says:

    Lisa they have some great kitten heals, try those you want to be comfortable and be able to walk lol

  115. sweetredhead says:

    I have a possible meeting next sunday, but he has had to cancel 3 times already so we shall see. We keep making times to meet but something always comes up. Girls don’t have a Doctor for a SD if you want to keep dates lol. But he was honest about his crazy schedule right from the beginning, so its ok with me :) and he seems like he will be worth the wait :)

  116. lisa says:

    can’t go wrong with the little black dress. I have a really nice one but no where to wear it. I hate walking on heels though, I have to hold on to something, lol

  117. lisa says:

    I have a feeling alot of the sbs that post sexy almost nude pictures on this site have their photos tacked up on a lotta pervers walls. some guys on here just want to collect photos.

  118. SweetasHunni says:

    Well I’m a model and I find the sexiest and classiest thing to be photographed is a LBD (Little Black Dress). It elongates your legs and gives you a sexy classy look. No doubt the guy will think you’d look great on the dance and at a high profile event :) Easy on the makeup though:)

  119. lisa says:

    my friends and family have no idea of any of this as I have have lotsa privacy so they don’t know.

    For photo attire I would avoid the bikini pics and anything too suggestive as you don’t want to attract the wrong guys and I have read on this site that many of the legit sds avoid the profiles where the ladies are scantily clad. Maybe something classy but sexy at the same time, show them how you would look all dressed up for a night on the town with them and maybe one that shows you as sophisticated and intelligent but at the same time seductive. Good luck on your date

  120. sweetredhead says:

    That’s great good luck GothicNC. My suggestion is keep it simple and classy. there are ways to be sexy without showing what you got :) my grandmother saying “why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free” ok so that’s an old one but its true. I have many male friends and they all seem to agree that a woman is more sexy when there is mystery there.

  121. GothicNC says:

    I have a date with a prospective SD on Sunday, yay!!! Plus Friday I’m going to get my pictures done. Maybe I’ll get one taken of me in my favorite short skirt. 😉

    Any suggestions for photo attire, ladies? (Aside from bikini, because I’m not doing bikini pix.) 😛

  122. sweetredhead says:

    no one likes to be lied to. I hate lairs. there is no reason for it. well maybe a little stretch of the truth if you don’t want to hurt someones feelings. well maybe there is I just lied lol. Married SD’s lie to get away and I have to lie on where I go to friends. But its my business and I do try to avoid the questions so I don’t need to lie.

  123. lisa says:

    I had another date with another potential sd that came into town and took me shopping. He was really cute but so shy. It’s hard to believe he had been married (now divorced) and had children as he was too shy to go into victorias secret with me and when I stopped to go to the ladies room at a department store, he started to walk with me but when he saw that the ladies lingerie was on both sides, he decided to go look at something.
    funny but kinda cute.

  124. lisa says:

    It was his idea to take me shopping for an outfit to wear to the outing. I would have attended the event but he cancelled on me so I guess he wasn’t into me either but he still took me shopping. I think he had alot of money and it didnt’ seem to bother him. It cheered me up at least because it was when I was out of work and struggling. I agreed to attend the social event with him but he backed out,his idea not mine. And I did spend some quality time with him while shopping, conversting about family and current events. I just don’t like the idea that he lied in his profile.

  125. sweetredhead says:

    I am not saying that is what you did, just making a comment on how I feel about certain situations

  126. sweetredhead says:

    they have money yes, but they have feelings too. No one likes to be used including a SD’s I am one of those people who believe that what goes around comes around. treat people with respect and you will get respect in return.

  127. sweetredhead says:

    if I was not interested in the man I would not let him take me shopping. I will meet for dinner or whatever, but if the chemistry is not there I feel it would be unfair to go any further.

  128. lisa says:

    this guy had slim in his profile. I knew he was short but when I met him, he was huge and the clothing he wore was very sloppy, making him look worse. He took me shopping for our night on the town and dropped me off and then called me back an hour later to cancel because he had a car wreck?? odd but at least he bought me some cute outfits and shoes and he made the decision to not see me so I dont’ have to feel bad.
    I believe honesty is essential because afterall how can you hide anything when you meet in person? I’m told I look like my photos

  129. sweetredhead says:

    that’s why I am honest in my profile i give my height and weight, I don’t want to waste my time or theirs. Had one SD tell me because i have full/overweight on my profile tell me I don’t see it lol. I am not what a lot consider over weight, its what a person prospective is. full/overweight suggests obese to some. I am in no way obese.

  130. lisa says:

    I used to do that when I tried regular dating but I dont’ now. I try to be positive but it’s hard to explain when I have had a date with one and they drop me off at home and see the graffiti and the thugs hanging around along with the neighborhood blight.
    Now if I ever have another date,they will have to see the burned up leasing office that is across from my building (evicted gang members doused it with gasoline a month ago and burned it down).
    I am upbeat and positive but my biggest issue is that I get no messages at all. lots of profile looks and an occasional weirdo, but no legit response.

    as far as the sds not posted photos, I can understand the married ones, but the single ones not having a photo I dont’ understand. I met one guy who sent me a headshot of himself, met him and he was huge, not slim like he described in his profile

  131. sweetredhead says:

    some of these SD’s are high profile or married or like their privacy, so they do not post a picture. AND yes their are some nuts out there lol. but you usually find that out in the first few minutes of talking to them.

  132. sweetredhead says:

    SweetasHunni read their profiles, message them if you find them interesting. maybe give them your messenger id to chat more and feel them out, most will send you a picture off site. you have to talk to them and find out if you may be compatible and then set a time to meet in person

  133. sweetredhead says:

    I hope you don’t take this the wrong way just trying to help. But are you telling potential SD’s all your problems? my advice is to step back a minute and realize what kind of “vibes” you are putting off to them. most SD’s don’t want your problems, they want to “get away from it all” relax and be stress free in their down time. They work stressful jobs, have families and wives and don’t want a SB with all kinds of “baggage” and drama. Just a suggestion.

  134. lisa says:

    my daughter is almost 18 and stays with my mom down the street. I hardly see her anymore becuause she goes to school and works as a file clerk (school work program) and is off only on weekends whereas I work every weekend and am off some days during the week. I can’t see her because it is dark by the time she gets off and she has to take the bus home as my parents had to get rid of their car when theycouldn’t fix it. everyone has to take the bus which means no outings after dark.
    My daughter is into the abercrombie stuff and even talks with that annoying accent that the hollister/abercrombie crowd talks.

  135. SweetasHunni says:

    Hello SD Bloggers,

    I’m new to the site and after reading a majority of the postings I feel like a seasoned vet! Just wondering how you all do it when a majority these guys profiles don’t have pictures? How do you weed out the nuts?

  136. lisa says:

    I have a little 13 inch tv. I am not much into actually watching tv (actually the tv is in the bedroom and the computer in the kitchen but have it on all the time and listen to the shows and hate the idea of spening money I don’t have only to get the same thing I already have now. And if my tv goes out, i’m stuck with the box. I need an sd to get me a digital tv, nothing big, just one of the smaller ones so I can watch Jay leno’s monolgue, oh wait, he’s going away too in 2009.

  137. sweetredhead says:

    my sons are making me crazy tonight. they are a little wild when they get back from their dads ughhh

  138. sweetredhead says:

    I have the cable box so it won’t affect me. Have 4 tv’s in my house, the largest in the living room is 27 inch. ok not large by most standards lol. the other 3 are 15 inch tv’s

  139. lisa says:

    hey my posts just got posted. :)

  140. lisa says:

    when I got a new stereo a few years ago I gave my daughter who was about 10 my old stereo and she immediatly broke the record player by turning the turntable the wrong way. sad because my new stereo didnt’ have a record player. now I dont’ even have a stereo and my cheap dvd player broke. When I moved away from my family I left eveything behind and they sold it. In february I won’t be able to watch tv. I ordered one of those converter coupons but they don’t cover the entire cost. those things cost about 80 or 90 dollars and coupon is for 40

  141. sweetredhead says:

    I had to explain to my son a few weeks ago what a record player was lol

  142. lisa says:

    I don’t because one post was about where I have lived and the other was about not being able to get to the beach because of our poor tranportation here. maybe someone from the local transit system monitoring me??

  143. lisa says:

    :) I prefer the metrosexual type of man I guess, lol
    Not much into blue jeans and belt buckles and horses are one animal that I hate. I don’t know why but I just don’t like them. I had a horse as a child and sold it to have money to buy records (those round things that play music that so many people clueless about, lol)

  144. sweetredhead says:

    what are you writing lisa lol that need to be monitored

  145. sweetredhead says:

    that’s great NC Gentleman. hope it works out for you

  146. lisa says:

    I see alot of my comments are awaiting moderation and haven’t posted. :(
    My waist is ok but I wish I had a smaller behind.

  147. sweetredhead says:

    I would love to go to a rodeo. I like country music. well at least we know we don’t like the same SD’s lol

  148. NC Gentleman says:

    Hello all. I had a great dinner date with a potential SB last night. I was a little surprised to find out she was from a wealthy family (she had on a nicer watch than me). She is a college student and said she was attracted to older succesul men – it was a little odd for my potential SB to have a nicer watch than me! Lol I will keep you posted. Hope all is well with everyone :)

  149. lisa says:

    I never get to the beach. I have been to galveston which is about 45 miles away only a couple times. Houston doesn’t have good transportation and you can’t really get out of the city, no local train service, so without you have a car, you can’t get to Galveston. I miss Chicago with it’s big train stations. The only way to commute outside the city is to ride a park and ride bus which basically picks you up at an assigned parking lot (you have to have a car to get there) and drives you into the city and vice versa. Not something you can do on a single ride, its’ a monthly pass thing and only intended for people who dont want to drive into the city.

  150. sweetredhead says:

    I don’t think I was ever a size 3 lol. by the time I was 16 I had a DD. they called me dolly instead of Holly in HS because of my figure. tiny waist and larger hips and chest.

  151. sweetredhead says:

    I love the beach here in the winters I could spend all day just walking on them. I love the water. Going boating is one of my favorite things. My favorite dates are picnics. I think I am just an old soul lol. I like the simple things, life’s little pleasures are what makes it worth it to me. I am one of those people who are comfortable in high society or the back woods lol. doesn’t matter what I am doing as long as I am with someone I can laugh with.

  152. lisa says:

    i’m hoping all the physical work I do now will help me lose some weight. I worked behind the counter for 3 years as print speciliast (fancy word for low paying job, lol) and didn’t move around much and ate too much junk food cause I didn’t get lunch breaks

  153. lisa says:

    I wish I could lose some weight. I am 5’1″ and weigh 103 pounds but 10 years ago I weighed 90 so i’m piling on the pounds. My mom is 5′ 4″ and weighs 100 and she is 68, so I guess her metabolism is still good. I want to be a size 0 but i’m a 3

  154. lisa says:

    Cowboys are a big turnoff for me. I can’t stand cowboy hats, boots, or anyting country western and have never been to the rodeo. I ended up in Texas when my mom remarried and we moved down here when I was 10. I don’t know if I could ever deal with the harsh winters up north anymore.

  155. sweetredhead says:

    right now sticking to healthy foods and veggies, used to be easy to lose weight, but you hit 40 and its not so easy lol. I always keept my weight down because I waitressed. but for the last 10 yrs I have sat behind a desk working for doctors. and some how it just kept piling on :(

  156. lisa says:

    I love being near the mall though, as what woman wouldn’t? But I would rather see pretty flowers and landscaping than the gang graffiti and anti-sugardaddies (unemployed men who stand around all day drinking and making nasty comments). I do hate the hot summers though, too humid and it’s like you are soaked with sweat a few minutes after you step outside

  157. dreamer says:

    just try it.. I didnt think it would be either..

  158. sweetredhead says:

    never been to tx always wanted to, but that’s because I have a thing for cowboys :)

  159. sweetredhead says:

    thats doesn’t sound too good lol sorry

  160. dreamer says:

    cover a bread baking pan bottom with crackers.. Cover with uncooked spaghetti noodles.. cover that with a mix of tuna and cream of chicken soup and some baby peas.. Bake for a little bit… Mix the noodles a little, add seasoning. Bake some more then take it out.. Sprinkle some cheese on top let it melt.. Scoup it out.. Amazing. I promise.

  161. lisa says:

    I was born in a small midwest town, spent a few years in the suburbs of chicago, lived in Chicago , and then moved to south Texas where I grew up. Been living in the big city for 22 years now. Love city life, but miss the quietness and safety of the country. But not the mile walk to the store to get a soda. lol

  162. sweetredhead says:

    what city are you in?

  163. lisa says:

    yes my neighborhood is very dangerous, mostly people from el salvador and they don’t like white women. Lots of gangs in the area too. When I got robbed a few years ago, the police asked me why I moved into this apartment complex. I didnt’ have much choice or time and had to be within walking distance to work since I was getting off at midnight and the bus stops running. can’t afford to move either. It’s sad that it’s so dangerous because I’m near eveything. The best part of town in only a few blocks away. I live near work, blocks from the mall, restaraunts, and I can see the medical center from my porch. Also a few blocks from parents. Love the location, hate the crime.

  164. sweetredhead says:

    I grew up in a small town in Connecticut, then when I was 18 moved to New York, then North Carolina, Tenn, then back to Connecticut and now in Florida which I like most of the time just really HOT!! in the summer. Getting used to the city again, but I think I am a country girl at heart.

  165. sweetredhead says:

    you have a very violent neighborhood. I live in suburbia just outside the city of st pete. no pigeons, just some alligators lol

  166. lisa says:

    no potato salad for me, I can’t eat any kind of salad other than fruit salad or garden salad, I can’t stand mayonaise or onions, well I love the green onions. they are the perfect before date food. lol

  167. lisa says:

    anyone in for some turtle soup and pigeon stew?? lol Nah, I wouldn’t cook my roomates, I just wish they’d chip in on bills. they are both rescues from bad situations. Neighbor kids knocked down nest back in may and crushed on baby pigeon but I found one alive next to his dead brother and brought him in and raised him. He is spoiled now and I don’t think he would survive outside, his dad was killed by the neighbor’s cat a couple day’s ago.

  168. sweetredhead says:

    remind me next time to teach you how to make a good potato salad.

  169. sweetredhead says:

    oh so your lurking lol

  170. Gail says:

    LOL…silly Red…how to make a good Tuna fish sandwich…LOL….now really leaving!!!

  171. sweetredhead says:

    you scare me sometimes lisa lol

  172. lisa says:

    yes i’m sitting here in my kitchen with just my turtle and baby pigeon, at least they can’t get away. lol

  173. sweetredhead says:

    guess its you and I lisa. everyone deserted us :(

  174. lisa says:

    Have a great night everyone. I’m still waiting for it to start raining.

  175. sweetredhead says:

    ut oh not sure what I taught her but it can’t be good. I am always getting myself into trouble.

  176. Gail says:

    sheesh Red…I learned something from you today…I have to go too:) talk to everyone later…

  177. lisa says:

    yes i’m superglued to this forum. Better to spend the evening chatting with my friends online than go out and get mugged by some thug.

    now let’s stick a whitening strip to those yellow teeth

  178. sweetredhead says:

    and all it took was tuna and some seasoning, maybe I am just making this all to complicated lol

  179. sweetredhead says:

    I am moving up!! lol. at least there is one SD that appreciates my talents lol

  180. SuthrnExec says:

    I LOVE Tony Chachere’s – now you’re 3/4 of the way to my heart!!

    I gotta run ladies – g’night if I don’t check-in later…

  181. sweetredhead says:

    aww don’t say stuck on this forum I’ll entertain you :) nothing better to do at the moment lol

  182. SuthrnExec says:

    “Stuck” on the forum?? Come on Lisa! (he says through his yellow teeth…)

    Thank you Ms Gail!

  183. sweetredhead says:

    thanks gail. but those mashed taters not good for the ole tummy bulge lol.

    Suthrnexc I make my tuna with celery chopped fine, red onion chopped fine, little celery salt, garlic powder, and tony chachere’s creole seasoning.

  184. lisa says:

    and brush those yellow teeth, or at least scrape the top layer of plaque off.

  185. lisa says:

    well I have a paycheck advance out that will take alot of this week’s check, and after gifts for mom and dad and daughter who are all very specific about what they want, I can’t save any money or get anything on sale, leaving nothing for me. Gotta pay the electric bill and top up prepaid cell phone and top up bus card. Next 3 checks go for jan rent. There is a ho ho ho in my wallet this year, need a sugardaddy to cheer me up, a little shopping, some cash, a nice dinner, etc , etc. I would just like to get out of this apartment and see the Christmas lights but i’m locked up after dark and stuck on this forum. 😆

  186. Gail says:

    Ok Suthrn…I will make the other half of the tuna sandwich…and you will have a whole one…but gotta take that brown tie from over your mouth…LOL

  187. SuthrnExec says:

    sweetredhead, if you can make a good tuna salad sandwich, you’re half-way to my heart! mmm mmmm!

  188. Gail says:

    Hey Red,
    Don’t be sad…there’s a helping for you too…enjoy! LOL…

    Funny how we amuse ourselves these days. Thank you for making me smile today everyone. I have money woes..waiting for the check in the mail. Conversation with my sugar family is priceless:) Thanks again!!!

  189. lisa says:

    and I get regular flavor, the cherry flavor is for wimps. lol throw away the premeasured cap too, dont need that

  190. lisa says:

    I have been drinking coffee and off brand cola all day, that’s about it. and a swig of store brand nyquil stuff which gives me a buzz lol got a good deal on it big 10 0z bottle for 2.39

  191. sweetredhead says:

    and I had a tuna sandwich, thanks a lot Gail :( as my mouth waters

  192. lisa says:

    pile on extra mashed potatoes! Can’t tell you how it tastes though, my taste buds are kinda gone with this cold or flu or whatever I have. So glad I was off today and tomorrow so I can relax from the physical demands of my job, no stress at work but alot of heavy lifting for a little girl like me. lol

  193. sweetredhead says:

    lets all go sit on Santa’s lap. Do you think he might be a SD too? lol

  194. Gail says:

    Lisa,
    I made dinner for you tonite. Let me know how it tastes. Steak,green beans,mashed potatoes, smothered in brown gravy. Close your eyes and enjoy the experience…(smile)

  195. lisa says:

    please please santa send us all a sd for Christmas, let our stockings be full of cash and gifts and fun nights out on the town, not lies and cheap coffee meetings, and picture requests. please please santa, I’m not getting anything for Christmas :(

  196. sweetredhead says:

    want to hear a cute story….haha you are going to anyway……My sons friend was over this afternoon (they are 10yrs old) my son comes in and tells me my friend said that you are looking really good mom that you lost weight. he says you are very beautiful. future SD we got there lol

  197. sweetredhead says:

    lol Lisa

  198. Gail says:

    oh:( poor us…..

  199. sweetredhead says:

    I am sure a lot of that went on. and some are not going to tell lol. I’m bored my potential SD asked me to be online tonight and he would contact me when he could ughh not used to sitting around. I understand his schedule but do I have to like it lol. nope and I can’t complain to him because its not his fault :)

  200. lisa says:

    it was cancelled because none of us could find a sd to take us. :(

  201. JaneyW says:

    That party in Vegas was canceled. I hope they have another one and make it free for babies!

  202. SuthrnExec says:

    I believe it was canceled. Don’t have any more details than that.

  203. Gail says:

    Lisa-We need to look on the blog on Dec 3rd…to see if anyone was missing…maybe they went…LOL…

    SugarPartyers-Update please:) We wanna know what we missed…and we don’t want to hear that saying…What happens in Vegas, Stays in Vegas…LOL…

  204. lisa says:

    I haven’t heard anyone mention the party in a long time. Did anyone go??

  205. sweetredhead says:

    they need to have one here in Florida, so I can go :)

  206. sweetredhead says:

    I got a message from that guy i emailed looking for something on a menu lol. but i can’t read it because i updated my profile and it has to be approved :( can’t wait to see what he wrote back lol

  207. Gail says:

    Las Vegas…it was put on by Seeking Arrangement. I haven’t heard from anyone…Maybe they are still there partying on…full of Sugar:)

  208. sweetredhead says:

    sugar party? where was it?

  209. Gail says:

    Good one Red…LOL

  210. sweetredhead says:

    a brown tie over his mouth? lol

  211. Gail says:

    Suthrn-You are a goofball too…LOL

  212. SuthrnExec says:

    Patient: Doctor, I have yellow teeth, what do I do?
    Dentist: Wear a brown tie…

  213. sweetredhead says:

    nasty teeth ewww, that’s basic hygiene.

  214. dreamer says:

    im here. Hiding and reading. Hiding and reading. Haha. I agree with lisa. I hate nasty teeth- dont care who it is.

  215. SuthrnExec says:

    Unfortunately (for me) I’m not officially taken – have met some great ladies though and would consider myself very fortunate to be with any of them even if not for more than a cup of Joe and some great conversation! I’m a bit limited right now due to my situation at work and with some family issues that I must deal with but I always enjoy the repartee that goes on here!

  216. sweetredhead says:

    I was bad, and I need to confess…looked at a profile, some young SD wanna be his title “looking over the menu” emailed him and said if you want a quality SB then don’t treat her like she is something off a menu. lmao I am so bad. after 40 yrs I don’t think I will ever tame that redheaded fire in me I fear. Had one SD email me. his profile said he wanted a demure SB to Dominate….Ummm hello redhead, who do you think your gonna dominate?

  217. sweetredhead says:

    I think he has us all under his spell lol. It the honesty I think.

  218. Gail says:

    sweetredhead-I don’t think SuthrnExec is taken..are you Suthrn Exec? I on the other hand am taken by his charm…(smile)

  219. sweetredhead says:

    you think he is trying to sell us the golden gate bridge ladies? lol why are most of the good ones taken, I ask myself once again.

  220. Gail says:

    Darn it SuthrnExec…I thought I would get to spend at least one day of Toll fees with you. Both you and I helped pay for it, just taking the ride over it. LOL…and by the way I love your picture and the Golden Gate bridge.

  221. lisa says:

    How about the men who claim to be millionares but have horrible teeth? Why would any business professional with plenty of money have yellow stained, broken, or rotting teeth? Certainly they could afford dental work

  222. SuthrnExec says:

    My pic has the Golden Gate Bridge in the background so in the interest of being transparent, I DO NOT own the GG Bridge…
    Seriously though, while I would agree that certain things in pics might give you some insight into a person’s genuineness, some don’t like to give the appearance of having a lot of money – I personally have very little debt, therefore I do not purchase all the newest, high-end stuff unless I really need it. SO if you saw me driving around in my pre-2004 explorer, you might not give me a second look.
    Certainly ladies, be cautious – first and foremost – but sometimes looks isn’t everything when it comes to determining someone’s net worth.

  223. sweetredhead says:

    I have scene took my address out of yahoo messenger which is how he got it, also my last name is my id name lol.

  224. sweetredhead says:

    lol I look at the pictures too and what they are wearing. I have also googled the ones I have been interested in to see if they are legit. I got scammed one time I knew it was a scam but went with it the guy could not even speak proper English. I always have my messenger up and one day he messages me says he is out of the country needs me to receive a check cash it and send it to his suppliers and keep the rest for myself. now if that isn’t a red flag!! it was sent UPS that morning. I called the bank it was drawn on, told them I think I have a scam check, it was lol, sent their scam unit all the info I could on him and the check. So if you meet a guy and talk to him and his typing is broken English stay clear ladies lol.

  225. NWgirly says:

    lol Lisa I would so love to have you as a friend oh my goodness I would be laughing all the time, but I’ve seen the lotion bottle thing and it is a major turn off.

  226. lisa says:

    I have seen photos of guys who claim to be worth millions but it’s obvious they are standing in front of an apartment or the ones that really turn me off is when they are sitting in a room that is cluttered with a lotion bottle sitting on a cluttered side table or an ugly beat up sofa. I once had a sd contact me that was worth millions, google his name, got his address, looked at it on google earth and it was a small townhouse in a so so part of town. Odd that a rich man who was married and had a couple children would live in a tiny townhouse worth about 100k

  227. NWgirly says:

    Well cupcake, I kind of look at that too and I simply tell them I’m not interested so I wouldn’t say its wrong but that is just my opinion.

  228. lisa says:

    Some guys think that if they pay for dinner that makes them a sugardaddy. It makes them a gentleman, which is expected but a sugardaddy goes beyond that

  229. Cupcake says:

    How do you guys feel about a SD profile that says he is worth millions but then you look at his pictures and the background is of a sh*tty room? Like it looks like your average poor apartment complex bathroom, etc?

    I’ve received a lot of emails from those types if SDs. Am I correct to completely ignore them and assume they are scammers and not real SDs?

  230. NWgirly says:

    Sensing a fake SD there or maybe he’s just extremely cheap which doesn’t make him an SD either way guys like that get nowhere in relationships no matter how much I’m getting from you I refuse to sit there and listen to someone talk about themselves all day, lol and I know just that feeling(wanting to strangle someone just by the sight of their picture).

  231. lisa says:

    I still shop in the junior section as women’s clothes just don’t fit me right.
    I even have some hollister and abercrombie skirts.
    I have met 4 guys off this site, 3 younger than me and one older

  232. lisa says:

    I think his arrogance turns women off after all he hasn’t found anyone in over 3 years since I met him. He is one of those people that you just want to strangle just looking at their picture if you know what I mean. I guess he has decided to “date down” but if anyone falls for him, they should expect alot of bragging but nothing more than coffee on your first date. He reminds me of a lady that I used to do some housecleaning for a couple times. I went to her apartment and worked all day cleaning it and one other time I unpacked her stuff when she had just moved. she bragged all day about her household furnishings that were very nice and had me constantly “guessing” how much she paid for this and what this sculpture was worth, BUT at the end of the day when it was time for me to leave and she was to pay me, she was “sorry” she was a little short on money and could only pay me 20 dollars although she would have liked to pay me 50.
    Anyway this guy is work 10K and makes alot of money but has a free membership.

  233. sweetredhead says:

    I am 40 but I look a lot younger, most people I meet think I am in my 30’s. The SD I am talking too is 34 :) but is looking for a mature woman. So got lucky there. My personality and likes are with the younger men usually but an attractive older man is sexy also. To me it all depends on the personality. I recently joined the gym (yay me) I know with my looks (not being snotty) That I will have more options open if I lose the weight. one thing I can’t change is my chest size ughhh lol.

  234. lisa says:

    correction “I CAN’T even get a date with a 68 year old

  235. NWgirly says:

    Wow Lisa he sounds like an idiot as he is on an sd/sb website most of the women on here make far less as him I hope you find what you deserve and you are very welcome sweetredhead.

  236. lisa says:

    I agree I would rather have a courteous decline message than none at all. I am older too but am very petite and slim and in real life I get hit on by much younger guys (without money and just looking for a good time, unfortunately) but on this site it seems 40 is too old. I can even get a date with a sd that was in his late 60’s :confused:

  237. sweetredhead says:

    ty NWgirly I hope so too :)

  238. sweetredhead says:

    wow sorry to hear that Lisa. I messaged a SD a few weeks ago. he kindly declined because he was looking for a younger, slimmer girl. but he was nice enough not to just ignore my email and he was honest, I respect that. There is no reason for anyone to be unkind to each other. Everyone has their likes and dislikes and what attracts the other. I know because of my age and I am full figured that my prospects are limited. But I will not settle either.

  239. NWgirly says:

    Thanks gail, I sure do hope so.
    I see sweetredhead is becoming one of the lucky ones hehe
    Congrats I hope all works out.

  240. lisa says:

    I will try this again as I can’t get my paragraph to post. I just ran across a new profile of a man I met several years ago on another regular site. He is a real creep, boastful and brags nonstop. Likes to put those “below” him down. I met him, was not interested in meeting again as I got tired of hearing him brag about himself, yet he only bought me coffee. Sent him a nice email saying thanks but…. Got a nasty email back saying he had done me a favor meeting me because he normally doesn’t date “down”
    Well he might have money but he also has a pot belly and not exactly an attractive personality. He is annoying and has a made up name I presume as no parent would name their baby a pompus name like that.

  241. sweetredhead says:

    I tell no one about what I am doing. To keep his privacy along with mine. He happens to be married. Its such a small world you never know who knows who and who will talk to someone. who may know him or his wife. his cell number in my phone is under a different name totally. I never call him, because of what he does, I never know where he is, or if he is with someone at the time. Its all part of being a discreet SB and having a married SD. I would never do anything to compromise him or myself.
    I am not sure if he is going to be my SD or not, still in the beginning stages, but it looks like it it might work out. although he is a ways from me and I have to travel to him because of his business. But our personalities seem to match and out likes and dislike, so we will see what happens.

  242. Cupcake says:

    Sweetredhead, that is great about your newfound SD trusting you like that! He must have really felt the connection just through chatting. I hope you guys really hit it off once you meet in person!

    I’ve been on this site for about a week and through the tons of emails I’ve received, I’ve only responded back to 1 person. He caught my attention because he wrote more than 2 lines and even after I explained that I’m not willing to meet after only a few emails, that I need more communication, he is totally accepting of it and in no rush either. So far what I love most about him is his ability to give me advice and wisdom. Dang, I think I am done w/ men my age after talking with him. He is just so full of life experiences.

    I would really love a local SB friend as well. I’m not comfortable spilling the beans to my real life friends about my SD search just yet…even when I’m comfy, I think I’ll only tell one of them, my one friend who is truly non-judgemental about everything in my life.

  243. sweetredhead says:

    sig, I like you approach being new to this I like to see the SD views. Sometimes I think some of the SD don’t understand the concept of what a SD is. of course neither do some of the SB ( just being fair here :) I have been chatting with someone, who I have yet to meet, he is very busy and his schedule is crazy so he has had to cancel several time, which is ok with me I understand his commitments. I happen to mention I had to get my car fixed, not asking for anything. He sent me money to fix my car WOW, impressed me. He didn’t have to do that nor did I expect it. But to have someone trust you that much just through talking was impressive. He even made the comment you have a SD now money is not an issue. It was a nice change from the others who have contacted me. Guess he is new to this also and has not been “taken” or abuse or taken for granted.

    I feel it is important to get the “allowance” thing out of the way. know what he expects of you and what you expect from him. so when you meet it is all out of the way and you can just enjoy each others company.
    Be upfront about when and how you will get together. Even if if his schedule is crazy I know that and either except it or don’t. But you at least know what the situation is.

    If more Sd and SB would be more honest and up front about what they want and what they expect I think things can go a lot smoother.

    Just my humble opinion lol

  244. lisa says:

    Good afternoon everyone. Just returned from running errands. Been doing alot of walking this morning. It’s a nice day for it but the rain will come soon. Dragged my kingsize comforter down to the laundrmat to wash, dragged it back home, walked to and from the new market grocery store. Got alot of exercise and am breathing clearly, well with the help of some nyquil. lol Feeling high on a flu medicine buzz. Inbox is still empty though :(

  245. Bubbles4u2me says:

    Sig- Is the man. Very good insight and approach to the SB/SD life style. Go Sig!!!

  246. Gail says:

    Good for you BlkButtafly…I wish you the best:)

    Welcome NWGirly:) The type of e-mails you have received is like we all have had. If it makes you uncomfortable, no worries… Just be patient…the right SD will come along:)

  247. BlkButtafly says:

    good morning everyone! I’m having a great time passing the time at work reading the blog. I’m supposed to be meeting a potential SD next weekend. I’m excited but I don’t want to get my hopes up. If he is the real deal though, I won’t see the need to have another one!

  248. NWgirly says:

    Good Morning everyone, I am new to the SD/SB relationships, and I absolutely agree with LadyKimberly on that last paragraph. I started a couple weeks ago and I received a few emails from potential SD’s that want to meet but every single last one of them has implied sex in some way during the first couple of emails and while eventually it would be apart of the relationship it makes me feel a little uncomfortable. Just as the whole discussing the money thing.

  249. Gail says:

    Dreamer-where are you?

  250. LadyKimberly says:

    Sig,

    I really enjoyed reading your post. I am glad you touched on the ‘uncertainty’ an SB might have. I am sure though that SD’s have uncertainties as well.

    I don’t think for most SB’s that it is about desperation. (However Christmas is just around the corner! So at this time it very well could be for some!)

    I think it is just that the trust has to work both ways.

    My potential SD can not expect to get certain things, such as upfront committments out of me if I can not at least get the same from him. Yes I know he is the ‘provider’ in some sorts, however, it takes two to tangle, so I would think it would take two to make a SD/SB relationship work.

    Just let me know where we stand on everything upfront and I am good! With hold certain info knowing that I want answers and more than likely I will think you are not genuine!

    We SB’s can not plan our immediate futures (like how certain things will get paid on the 1st or 15th or that plane ticket will be bought, or maybe that extra nice outfit for meeting you the first time… or etc…) without having a knowledge and understanding of what we have to work with. (financially)

    One more thing lol, Some SD’s are very comfortable about talking about sex or dirty pics on the first writing or phone call, so why should a SB feel uncomfortable about talking about money??

    Anyway, just my 2 cents.
    I so like this blog!!!

    Sincerely,
    LadyKimberly

  251. Gail says:

    Sig-Love the way you are thinking. You will bring smiles to many SBs reading the blog today. And plenty of messages in your inbox:) Thank you for sharing!

    Good Morning SuthrnExec:) Whenever you are around youre doing great things!!!(smile)

    PPP-What did I tell you….Elles are coming after you now:) LOL….

    BT,Cutie,Lisa,LadyK,Rasberry,Chris-Ladies were blogging up a storm last nite…I couldn’t keep up.

    Have the best day ever everyone!

  252. SuthrnExec says:

    Interesting insights Sig – I like your three-phased approach. I think this does address two issues that are huge in these types of relationships — gets the financial discussion out of the way quickly and it brings a certain peace-of-mind to the SB.

    I look forward to hearing the feedback from others.

  253. Sig (Seeking traveling companion) says:

    …on two other notes:

    I believe it is important to always offer the certainty of a contracted payment. For the woman I believe the greatest issue is that of uncertainty. For the man it is best to put aside the financial aspects as quickly as possible, so as not to dwell on them. So even for a first get together I believe it is important to communicate and deliver any financial gift regardless of how things go.

    The second note is that it is too difficult to deal in cash. With my world travel schedule it is impractical and sometimes illegal to obtain large sums of cash. It is far easier to wire money, it takes only one call or email and the money usually arrives pretty quickly. That may involve disclosing a bank account, but the money flows in one direction only. I have never had a problem with this approach, whereas I have had several bad experiences with lugging around and transferring large wads of cash.

  254. Sig (Seeking traveling companion) says:

    Interesting blog.

    I’ve done this both ways. My first SB… I didn’t even know the term! She joined me for a vacation and missed a day of work. So I wanted to make that up for her knowing she was not in the same financial situation as I. So I hesitantly and nervously offered to make it up. She turned me down. By the third time she had missed work to join me I insisted and she took it. After that I supported her regularly until we mutually ended it when she started her own company.

    My second I offered the package up front. By then I had recognized that girlfriends were very difficult for me to maintain without an upfront understanding of my schedule and work priorities, and my willingness to mentor and subsidize a certain lifetime.

    Now I see this working in three phases. The compatibility check, the short term commitment, and the long term plan.

    The compatibility check is a date or two, to see if we mesh emotionally, conversationally, behaviorally, and physically. I should pay for transportation, if any, and other expenses like a dress, event, or whatever. This phase determines whether an arrangement is POSSIBLE.

    The short-term commitment is a monthly stipend for several months during which we meet more and plan travel. This determines whether there are sufficient long-term goal matching. It really tries to determine how the arrangement will END.

    The long-term commitment is like a contract. In particular it outlines the end of the commitment, for example upon graduation, upon starting a company, or whatever. It is mutually-agreed upon. It can renew after that end, but it is very helpful to have this. In fact it is what makes this arrangement different from an ordinary relationship or a marriage, and the reason it is more compatible with my lifestyle.

    Hopefully this will stimulate some conversation. I don’t know if I will check the blog often…

  255. chrisohbabyy says:

    274057 @ ppp1256 if you’re wondering…that might help a little

  256. LadyKimberly Okla says:

    ppp1256 : I never could find it. Did you look for mine?

    LadyKimberly

  257. ChicBaby says:

    Miss T – That’s exactly what I mean!! I was lucky before because I have seperate groups of friends (work and school) so I was able to hide a lot, but I think my roommate was starting to wonder! Having a built in alibi would be amazing. To be honest, I think I stopped my whole SD thing just on time. My roommate has been asking a lot of questions about where I’m going all of a sudden, and thank god I actually have a ligit answer now!
    Any chance you live in Chicago? lol!

  258. ppp1256 says:

    Raspberry: I am sure you have more common sense than her. It occurred to her while reading a magazine that the only way she could get her bf back was to go to law school and therefore embarked on it. I think after that point she comes across as really motivated, smart and ambitious while bringing a different perspective to the team-the perspective of her life before that point. So that incident is certainly an INFLECTION point in her life as her thinking changes from concave to convex.

    So yes you may have more in common with her after that inflection point.

  259. Raspberry says:

    Yep, just found it. That was surprisingly easy.

  260. ppp1256 says:

    Raspberry: Did you find my profile?

  261. ppp1256 says:

    chrisohbabyy: I found a profile that said Jersey girl and thought it was you. Anyway I got a response from that SB so if it is not you it is somebody else. She did not address me mentioning of the blog. So I did send that to somebody else.

    Cutie: What is this thing about finance and global warming? There are a lot of smart successful people who are not fully sold on global warming although climate change patterns need to be explored further.

  262. Raspberry says:

    Wow, that’s funny. I didn’t think many people on this site from MA were from western MA; everyone seems to be located in Boston. I haven’t really ever thought to compare myself to Elle Woods, although Legally Blonde is one of my favorite movies and a necessity in any collection. I’d like to think I have a bit more common sense than her, although I do also own a 3 lb Chihuahua.

    Actually maybe Elle and I have more in common than I originally though.

  263. Miss T says:

    I think I completely blew it with one SD. Made plans to meet him this Sat, COMPLETELY forgot that I’m supposed to do a girl’s night thing with my mom and sis (my dad’s away and we’re surprising him by having the house all decorated for x-mas when he comes back). And there’s no way I can bail on the whole family decorating the house thing. My mom would kill me.

  264. Cutie says:

    Haha I did meet a man from Boston who didn’t believe in global warming (he was one of the Three). I didn’t know if it was self-serving delusion or …. ? You name it.

    Please tell me he doesn’t work in finance lol

  265. lisa says:

    I think one of the advantages of a nsa sd/sb relationship is not to have to worry about those “differences” in politics or religion or other issues.
    When I was with my married lover, we had a great time in the bedroom and I enjoyed talking to him about family and other stuff but we never discussed politics and religion. I know we were completely different on those topics but it didnt’ matter because I wasn’t going to be living with him. same thing now is I dont’ care about a sds political or religious views although it would be a plus if we shared some views but it doesn’t matter whereas when I was looking for a serious relationship I found myself checking off some immaginary “list” of must haves. When it is casual, you are not responsible for the other’s actions whereas if you are married or committed to someone, there actions can have consequences for you.

  266. bostonTerrier says:

    he’s near perfect … aside from his political beliefs :) politics always provide an interesting conversation between the two of us. he also doesn’t believe in global warming and i am a huge environmentalist … i can’t understand why he doesn’t believe it but it provides interesting conversation.

  267. lisa says:

    sad thing is that my first boyfriend was a millionare. I met him when I was 15 and walking home from the school bus stop. He called me for 3 years and I rejected him because I had a crush on the buy who worked at the 7-11 by my school. Started dating him when I turned 19 but he was a disappointment. I found out on our first date that he was rich but in the 6 months “dated’ he never even took me to dinner or bought me anything although he bought several cars including the ferrari that he died in.
    I have stuck to dating educated, successful men since then (well I did lower my standards when I married, lol) but nothing sticks. Came out of a 3 year affair with a married man and also dated a single geologist for several months but he can’t date anymore because his grown daughter needs him to stay home and babysit for her everynight. big red flag the guy was divorced several times. Now i’m just looking to have some fun in a casual mutually beneficial relationship with no expectations for the future.

  268. Bubbles4u2me says:

    PPP1256 That is great that you are so diverse.

  269. Cutie says:

    Aww sure babe, you’ll definitely make it if he waited all summer! I am curious, why did you say he was near-perfect?

    I am extremely happy with the man I’m seeing but I wouldn’t say he is perfect either. He has a very… interesting sense of humor which can sometimes be a bit much for me, but apart from that he’s the man of my dreams

    Lisa, it makes me so angry that you have to struggle so hard :( I really really really hope something good is on its way for you. I’ll be sooooo happy the day you come on the blog and write to us about a promotion/a great SD or just new neighbors :) Hang in there

  270. bostonTerrier says:

    i have some friends living off campus too – boston is just so expensive and the price people make students pay students for a hole in the wall (with numerous problems at that) is ridiculous! i think if i were back home, i’d probably be living at home though. saving money all around that way.

    i met my sd from the site during the summer – he emailed me like late may and kept emailing until i got back in september & then we met when i got back several times before we decided to actually have an arrangement.

    i’m glad to hear you and you sd did it made it and are still together. i needed to hear a success story :)

  271. lisa says:

    Cutie, my back is still hurting. Had a fairly easy day at work as I only worked 4 hours today and have the next 2 days off. But lifting all those totes of shampoo and body wash really hurts sometimes. I am very petite and have to climb up on stuff just to reach the top tote and then dragging it down without dropping it is another thing. Thing is that there are men around that just stand back till I get through, not offering to help. I’m hooked on the advil as I can’t afford anything stronger. went through a bottle of 24 since yesterday. Now I gotta get some flu medicine tomorrow so I can feel better.

  272. Cutie says:

    I wish SA would let people see the content of the messages in the actual alerts…

  273. Miss T says:

    I don’t think a SD relationship necessarily has to be about paying bills. I manage to pay all my own bills every month, but just barely. I’m not looking for a SD to pay my bills, I’m looking for one to help me with the few luxuries I can’t afford right now, like wee trips to the spa, shopping, things like that. I have champagne tastes, but a beer budget.

    And I’m addicted too boston. The worst is I have my e-mail forwarded to my new blackberry and as soon as I get an e-mail saying I have a new message I HAVE to log on and check. I have no idea what I’m gonna do at work tomorrow (I don’t have a data plan on my blackberry so no web browsing, I just have unlimited e-mail, and unfortunatly this site does not count as e-mail.)

  274. Cutie says:

    PS for BT, exactly the same here. I never go on SA anymore, but the blog just sucks me in and I keep coming back for more :) But when I first signed up it was quite scary how much I felt compelled to log in haha.

    Lisa, how’s your back tonight? Hope work wasn’t too hard during the day :)

  275. Cutie says:

    Woohoo I’m a college SB too 😀

    Well I do have bills, since I live in an apartment off campus, I don’t get a fixed allowance, just money transfers here, piles of cash there… For me it’s mostly phone, internet, gym membership, rent, tuition, books and then the rest for whatever makes me happy :) I am saving up BIG time though, not indulging in the princess treatment until my bank account & wallet are very nicely padded, which will be another 2 or 3 months :)

    I too will be away from him for the holidays, I am going home while he will be in Colorado with his family. We were away for the summer holidays too and we just emailed each other every day. It was hard for me to receive calls for him because of the time difference, but the emails were just fine :) Just let him think of how awesome your reunion is going to be :)

  276. lisa says:

    I would think that some college sbs might have apartments, uitilities, car payments, insurance, etc to pay.
    It’s great if you don’t have any bills but unfortunately bills are a part of life. It is surprising how much I pay to live in such a bad area. I remember living in the same neighborhood and in an apartment identical to the one I have now (same layout and square footage) back when I was married and the rent was less than half of what it is now. All our living bills (rent, elect, tele, cable , etc where less than what I pay in rent now.

    I don’t need a sugar daddy to pay all my bills although it would be nice but I think we need to remain independent so when we are on our own, but it would be nice to have some of them paid so I could use my money on something fun or have some to save.

  277. bostonTerrier says:

    cutie –

    i don’t think sa has taken over my life. i’ll admit … when i first signed up and received several emails a day i signed in a bit too much :( it’s like you get excited to see what someone wrote to you or see what a sugar daddy has wrote to you after you’ve been corresponding for a while.

    after landing the near perfect sd, i read the blog too much. it’s like the tyra show + dr. phil in the form of a blog. once i tune in i literally can’t stop.

  278. bostonTerrier says:

    maybe i’m odd here but my sd doesn’t pay my bills either 😡 the joy of being a student :)

    i also think you have to account for parents paying tuition unless a college aged sd is independent of her parents and working through college on her own. it would be kind of hard to explain to my parents “the tuition is paid!” after they get the bill in the mail. aside from a cell phone bill, what bills do we college students have?

    i get a month allowance from my sd for shopping or whatever i would like and he pays for my biweekly salon trips. i’m sure most college sbs have the same sort of thing. allowance + books + plane tickets home + gifts + being treated like a lady – something the college guys in boston can’t do.

    there are many different types of sd/sb relationships. we shouldn’t label them all as the same because our needs are different.

    any college sbs away from your sd for the winter break? if so, how do you keep it “alive”?

  279. Miss T says:

    ChicBaby, I totally wish I had someone I could share all this with, someone who could act as an alibi (“Hey mom? I’m going to ChicBaby’s parent’s cabin for the weekend, would you mind stopping by the apartment and checking on my cats? Thanks!”) Someone I can vent about how awful a first meet was with a potential SD (“He didn’t even offer to pick up the tab for dinner!”) or how wonderful a meet was (“He arranged to meet me at this hotel with a spa. When I got there the Maitre ‘d informed me that my date apoligizes profusely but he will be a few hours late for dinner, but has made arrangements for me to have a mani, pedi and massage. Then when SD actually got there he told me that he wasn’t actually late, he wanted to surprize me with a spa trip, he didn’t intend on joining me until after! How sweet of him!”) And of course there’s the safety thing. I’m not gonna call up my sister and be all like “Hey sis, I’m meeting this 45 year old man for dinner. If it goes well he’s gonna give me money and presents and stuff. But in case it doesn’t go well, this is where I am and if you don’t hear from me by X time, call the cops?”

  280. Cutie says:

    Haha that Caribbean SD sounds sooo romantic!

    Um I have a question for … everyone! Do any of you feel like SA has if not almost taken over your life, become a VERY important and consistent part of it? As in spending waaaay more time online than you should, logging in multiple times a day when you have other things to attend to, wondering how many emails you got during the day?

    Chrisohbaby you are very welcome :) good thing my SD lives far far away because if he were anywhere near I’d have to seriously take you up on that visine 😛 Please do let me (us) know how things go for you! (I must admit although I am ecstatic to be settled, I do miss the thrill of the chase *blush*)

  281. bostonTerrier says:

    i love the picture up top, it’s cute

    :)

    i’m taller than my sd too … though he has hair and isn’t pudgy like that little guy.

  282. lisa says:

    Yes I would presume it would be but he seemed answer defensively like I was asking a weird question. He talks about liking to travel but is not willing to visit a sb in her town. I would never consider anyone outside the US but just decided to write him back (this was a few days ago) to see what kind of answer I got.
    what are we doing on here? we should all be packing and I guess we pay for our own plane tickets?? sounds like a great offer. I think i’ll skip the opportunity and do laundry instead. lol

  283. chrisohbabyy says:

    a note to MS Lisa…..”i never come to the US” Now maybe i’m just a stickler for proper language ussage…but wouldn’t it be “i never go to the US” ….being that i’m not in the US.

    PS…save me the guest room when we ALL go to the Caribbean.

  284. lisa says:

    Looking forward to meeting you MSH when we all move to the Caribbean. lol He emailed me and I asked “how often do you travel to my town?” just to give him a courteous response back, and he wrote back “I never come to the US” odd that if he is American he never comes back to see friends and family??

  285. MSH says:

    Well, girls, I’ve been contacted by the “physician” in the Caribbean also and will be moving there as well! Wow! So very lucky am I!

    I truly hope none of you girls are falling for this very obvious scammer with his poor grammar, bad punctuation and just atrocious writing skills. You would think he could put forth a little more effort and possibly educate himself. Ugh. Give. Me. A. Break.

    On to bigger and better news! I have decided what to give my SD for Christmas. There is a company in Atlanta that offers the chance to join the Mile High Club in one of their private planes. I think that this is what I will be doing for my SD. I can’t decide on either that or skydiving. Either way it is an experience that I’m sure he’ll never forget. I’m thinking about arranging to have him meet me at the Ritz in Atlanta and I’ll saunter in with my trench coat, belted tightly at the waist, it’s a short one and comes above my knee a bit. Thing is, I just hate wearing clothes underneath it! He knows this. How long should I make him have drinks with me in the lobby before we head upstairs?

  286. chrisohbabyy says:

    THANKSS :) @ Cutie lol * handing over my visine to you* haha :) we’ll i’m still not done so i feel your pain.

    Again thanks for the advice :) so now i don’t feel like all insulted by the copy and pastes…but it makes you wonder at the same time…how many times have you passed up a guy just because he sounded so blahhh on his copy and paste. I think guys should also think about that…you probably pass up a lot of good women who just think oh look at this guy with his “nice smile” comment…which would be nice if you were actually smilling in your pic lol.

    I guess it’s just a risk people take & sometimes you get lucky.

  287. chrisohbabyy says:

    Nope @ ppp1256, didn’t get it. Or was it even me you sent it to lol?

  288. Cutie says:

    Aww thanks :) I really have to get out of here don’t I?

  289. ppp1256 says:

    Cutie…luck with your finals!!!

  290. ppp1256 says:

    Bubbles4u2me I am as intellectual as I am street smart…

  291. ppp1256 says:

    Chrisohbabyy did you get my email?

  292. Cutie says:

    PS: to answer your question more specifically, being bothered by automatic responses is totally normal, because we’d appreciate it if SD hopefuls actually took the time and consideration to contact us with a personal message. However, some of them do take a risk-mitigating approach by sending the same message to large numbers of SBs and then making decisions based on the responses they get. So I think the best way to deal with this kind of message is to check out their profile and see if you have any interest in them, then get past the first few messages to see if there’s anything nice :) *lucky hug*

  293. Cutie says:

    Hahaha Chrisohbabyy that was hilarious!

    Liars and copy pasters are definitely the ones to weed out early, as well as time wasters, but don’t worry you WILL find someone! Trust me you will :) I’ve met at least three guys I could have seriously considered having an arrangement with while I was actively looking on the site. Ironically, the one I preferred (whom I have been seeing for a year now) didn’t contact me until much later in my search. So don’t give up :)

    And… I totally know what you mean 😉

    You’re so lucky to be done with finals, I have mine this week :( *compulsive eye scratch* have fun babe

  294. chrisohbabyy says:

    phewww….back after scratching my eyes out from finals.

    um Anonymous-person-you….um do you know the meaning of a sugardaddy? just wondering.

    But my question is…well i’ve been getting quite a bit of responses & i don’t know if i’m just not open enough/picky/need to get used to the SD circle again or what…. But my problem is…i can’t stand a guy who sounds so automatic…by this i mean the kind of guy who copy and pastes one of those “Hi my name is “joe” check out my profile and tell me if you like what you see” …i send a nice genuine reply back & then i get the “hi can you send me some more pictures 😉 at im-gonna-jerkoff2urpicsandNeverPlan2meetU(at)wastingmydamnedtime.com

    So now i feel like maybe this is the SA way that i just need to get over cause maybe i’m passing up plenty of good guys…OR i just need to hang in there.

    Now my other question is…how do you ladies feel about a guy with a “nice” profile (and don’t act like you don’t know what i mean lol) but just sends you a message that makes you roll your eyes????

    Thanks in advance

  295. ppp1256 says:

    Raspberry: BTW good choice, with the economy changing in fundamental ways one area where jobs will be plenty in the years to come would be convergence of legal frameworks especially how economies are structured.

  296. ppp1256 says:

    Raspberry: Are you an “Elle Wood” type?

  297. ppp1256 says:

    Raspberry: I am in Northampton.

  298. lisa says:

    annonymous, sorry to say that that doesn’t sound like a sugardaddy at all. If your parents are paying your tuiton and you are working too and it seems all he offers is paying for dinner and an occasional gift, sounds more like a boyfriend to me. Just because a man pays for dinners does not make him a sugardaddy, prior to all this women’s lib garbage, men always paid for dinner and opened doors.

  299. GothicNC says:

    Sweetredhead, welcome!

    ChicBaby, welcome back! You make a good point about finding a SB friend. Even with regular dating you’re better off having someone like that. :-)

  300. SuthrnExec says:

    Good afternoon all – greetings sweetredhead and welcome!

    I think when you boil all comments down, you come away with a balanced approach. It’s when we get taken “advantage of” that we then want things spelled out more upfront, money up front, etc. which is understandable. Just try to see the situation from the other person’s angle and consider their position. I think if we all do this, we will be fine.

  301. Raspberry says:

    PPP, where in MA are you located? I’m actually a MA college student aspiring to attend a T14.

  302. annonymous says:

    i have a sugar daddy – 2 years and still strong. we met my freshman year of college and now i am a junior/senior (not sure if i’ll graduate early). i’m not with him because i’m in need of money, i like being able to date someone who opens all the doors in addition to paying for the dates … the occasional gift is also nice. in addition to being a full time college student, i work 20 hours a week and still manage to be at the top of my class at a university known for its grade deflation. i’m already interviewing with deans from local law schools and going through summer law firm internship options. my parents & scholarships pay my tuition, not my sugar daddy. i’m not with him for financial support; he is just one of my best friends.

    eventually it will end because i have hopes of getting married in the near future + i’ll be more open to actual “dating” when i am in law school and no longer an undergrad.

  303. Gail says:

    Bubbles-Love the “Aspiring SBs” and thank you for your kind thoughts. Enjoy your day.

    PPP-Yes they share many good qualities. You will find many Elles on here:) I am past the career building stage, climbed many corporate ladders and presently just trying to exhale. Simple, fun, respectful and kind is what I would like in my new stage of life. Okay I will add smiles,charming,chemistry,laughter,great conversation, and travel. Are you still there?(smile)

    Chicbaby-Nice to see your face in the place. Yes, its wonderful to share with another SB…I am in CA. Come back soon:)

    Thanks Lady Kimberley! the coffee was what I needed:)

  304. Bubbles4u2me says:

    So true Sweetredhead…so true. To Lisa, I hope that you feel better. Sounds like you are having a difficult time. Have a good day at work.

  305. lisa says:

    Hi everyone. Hope everyone is having a nice morning. Still an empty inbox for me. that sd never got back with me to reschedule :( oh well I feel horrible this morning, still got the backache and the flu it seems.
    can’t take any medicine cause I have to head out to work soon. Have to wait till I get home tonight and I can dope up on nyquil. lol

  306. sweetredhead says:

    Thank you bubbles, good luck to you also. Good luck to us all. Sd’s and SB’s Most of us are here to find the right experience and relationship, but it seems to me we have to over come the “fakers” out there. on both sides.

  307. LadyKimberly Okla says:

    G’Morning to all of you wonderful SB’s and SD’s!!!
    I hope you have a wonderful day today!

    Hey PPP…
    LadyKimberly Oklahoma…

    c[__] Big cup of Java for everyone!!

    LadyKimberly

  308. Bubbles4u2me says:

    Sweetredhead you are taking the right position and you will surely find a great SD. I wish you much luck.

  309. Bubbles4u2me says:

    To address your lame comments, Annonymous, I am not lying and how lame of you to assume that I am lying. No wonder you dont have a SD. To get you straight I started dating my SD at age 23 when I was just entering into my CAREER. Now my CAREER has blossomed and he is still here. He makes more money then I and is more then happy to pay my bills. Your other lame comment had to do with independence….if you are promoting independence….why are you here? I pitty you, I will think about your assumptions when I jump in my new Charger that he just bought me a few weeks ago. As for you Gail I do apologize if the, “want-to-be “, choice of words offended you because that was truly not my intention. So I change those words to “Aspiring SBs”. Sounds more classy to me. Thanks for being tactful, Gail. Good Luck with PPP1256 because he seems very interested in you and he appears to be very intellectual. Good day.

  310. sweetredhead says:

    Hi my name is Holly and I am new to this site and a SD relationship. I have been reading the posts, and have talked to several SD on here. I have yet to meet anyone in person.
    I understand both sides of wanting to wait for the “allowance” and wanting The “allowance” terms up front.
    I am a little torn between the two. I want a relationship/ friendship and there diffidently has to be compatibility. But I don’t want to be “used”
    I have personally chatted a bit with the SD then asked about the “allowance” after it seamed we are hitting it off.
    I am not in this for just the money, I am looking for a true companion and friend with benefits relationship.
    But to me asking about the “allowance” up front weeds out the users and losers.
    I will continue reading these blogs and I will find my way to the best situation I can.
    I refuse to settle for just anyone, I am worth more than that. I have a lot to offer a potential SD and in turn I want a mutually beneficial relationship.
    I could be going at it all wrong who knows, but I will just be myself and I am sure a SD will see me for who I really am on day.

  311. ChicBaby says:

    Hey everyone, it’s been a while since I was last on this blog, and I’ve missed it terribly! I’ve tried to catch up a little, but there’s always so much going on. I’m off SA now, and have a more ‘traditional’ relationship going on. For now it’s the right thing for me, but I think in the future I will probably be back on the site!

    So, I had a question for everyone. Well, mainly the SBs actually. When I had my last SD the thing I most wanted was a friend to share it all with. Someone to talk to and to go shopping with who I didn’t have to hide the gifts and money from. Or someone to call up on that first date and give all the SDs info to just in case something were to go wrong.
    Has any other SB ever wished that you could search for other SBs who were just looking for a friend in your area/city? I really think that if/when I get back into the SD world I will first want to find an SB friend, and then I’ll look for my perfect SD.
    Just a thought…

  312. ppp1256 says:

    Gail: What is the headline of your profile? By the way what do you think of my descriptions? There are many qualities that both Elle Wood and Lisa Ling share.

  313. Gail says:

    Good night Sugar Family:) Sweet Dreams All:) Tommorrow is another day in our neighborhood……

  314. Gail says:

    I have been very fortunate and had good experiences. I am still looking for someone special. He’ll be a very lucky fella…(smile) So in the meantime I’ll be patient, enjoy meeting everyone around me…he will know I am special too:)

  315. ppp1256 says:

    Gail: how have your experiences been so far?

  316. Gail says:

    Annon-That may very well be it. I would hope that she was just thoughtless and truly didn’t think about others feeliing. Maybe she’s had time to think about her choice of words now…

  317. annonymous says:

    because she is lying about having an sd of 8 years and wants to make it seem like she is above the girls here looking for a sugar daddy.

    sad that she needs an sd for 8 years.

    i’d die if upon graduation i still had an sd paying my bills if he wasn’t my husband.

    so much for strong independent women these days.

  318. Gail says:

    So fortunate you are that you have a SD relationship 8 years strong. Others here are not as fortunate. If we were in the same circumstances that you are in now, it would be simple to be happy and positive:)

    Why would you put down the SBs on here by making a comment like”want- to-be” SB? Is it really necessary?

  319. Bubbles4u2me says:

    SuthrnExec the comment that you made was sound. I am a SB and when I read some of the comments posted by other “want-to-be” SBs those postings are really over the top. Most should add a clip art of a tin can to their postings. Their postings seem so desperate. There is one sad story after the other. I have been a SB for 8 years. My SD and I get along perfectly. He has his life and I have mine. Yes he pays my bills and he provides for me but every conversation with him is not about money or buy me this or send me that and very often I buy him things and write him poems to show that it is not all about what he can do for me. We may see each other once or twice every other month and that is fine with me. I know that he will always be there for me and he knows that I will always be there for him and we respect each others privacy. So many SBs view this type of relationship as a meal ticket, its not. Yes the SD can provide you with monetary assistance but a SB’s thoughts should not be focused solely on that…..thoughts should also be focused on how to build a relationship that is untouchable. Answer this, have you ever laid in the bed in the arms of a gorgeous filthy rich man and talk and laugh so long that the sun fell and rose before you realized and was too tired afterwards to have sex? Well I have and it was amazing and he thought so too. I have a great SD and we are 8 years strong. So SBs get your game up. All that Poor-mouthing is lame. No one wants to hear it. Stop talking about what you dont have and start talking about what you have to offer and I assure you that things will begin to change for you. BE EZ!!!

  320. Miss T says:

    I’m from Canada actually. And I wish I was Elle Woods. She has a rich daddy and got nice clothes and jewelry and weekly spa trips and since my parents pretty much cut me off I get none of that and I really miss it! (They’re nice enough that they’ll lend me money for rent or groceries, but only if that’s because I’m broke. If they find out it was because I spent too much money at the spa which caused me to be broke I get a lecture).

  321. ppp1256 says:

    I agree with Cupcake

  322. Cupcake says:

    Gail, Lisa Ling is awesome! You go girl!

  323. ppp1256 says:

    Gail: Yes infact I am having a conversation with somebody who is getting her PhD in one of the liberal arts at an IVY league school. There are infact a lot of Elles here. What is your impression about the number of Elles?

  324. Gail says:

    PPP.

    I am no Elle Wood, more like Lisa Ling. Are there any SB Elle’s here? So PPP would you consider Mercedes as one item top of the line? Just kidding:)

  325. ppp1256 says:

    Gail: what is your headline?

  326. ppp1256 says:

    Sugar babies who are trying to build their careers like business, law or the sciences, engineering or liberal arts will benefit most from a relationship with me.

  327. ppp1256 says:

    I am looking for somebody like the “Elle Wood” character in Legally Blonde. Somebody who brings a different perspective but is beautiful, smart, ambitious and intelligent and makes the team really strong.

    I have a lot of interests like history, geography, law, politics, wild life and really like to take women shopping when they limit to buying only ONE top of the line item per trip. I am not being cheap, just that I like my credit card being used not abused.

    By the way what city are you at?

  328. Gail says:

    Tell us what you are looking for in a SB. Share why we would be happy to have you in our life…where do you live..city and state? the better the response the more interest we will have…and then you inbox will be full.
    Choices, choices, choices:) …LOL…

    Hint:TERMINATOR ,ARNOLD

  329. ppp1256 says:

    Gail: That is very selfless and noble of you. can you name your city? What do you want to know? In general terms, I am a successful professional with an international reputation. I am a rising star in my field and considered to be among the leaders of the field in making. I am under 40 and the current leaders in the field ages span 50 -60.

  330. lisa says:

    Hi everyone. just got home from a very hard day at work. I was alone in my department today putting up alot of heavy stuff. My back is killing me now. Now the other pigeon is missing, it probably left because it’s mate was killed. I can’t take the cat to the pound because I dont’ have a car to get there (the pound is on the other side of town, and you can’t take animals on the bus. It makes me mad that my neighbors are constantly messing up my life if it isn’t their armed robbery, loud music, racial slurs, it’s their kids or pets coming up on my porch. I have never even been to the other side of the porch because I was brought up to respect other people’s privacy.
    Government handouts are not that easy. My husband left me when I was pregnant and I was living with my parents with little income, and I could not get medicaid because they counted my husbands income since we were still married, even though I never got a penny out of him. My hours vary, one week i’m working 32 hours , the next 22, and I have no dependent children so I wouldn’t qualify for anything. The food pantry even told me I couldn’t come back after my last visit because I had been there 3 times in 2 months. they never give me very much food, and I had to throw out alot last time because some of the stuff was expired. I can’t go to another one because this is the only one within walking distance.
    Anyway I’m still waiting for a sugar daddy. My back is killing me, gotta go

  331. Gail says:

    Northern Calif PPP….I help Senior Citizens:)…I have a soft spot for them..wanna come help? So tell us more about you PPP…we are listening:)

  332. ppp1256 says:

    Gail: the p’s dont mean anything? It is designed to be anonymous. Where did you volunteer? where are you in CA?

  333. Gail says:

    ppp1256-My volunteer day is over:) Loved it!!! What do all those P’s stand for? Just wondering?

    Lady Kimberley-I missed you for coffee…time for coffe with Baileys and Cream…its so cold in CA today.

    dreamer-Let us know how you are doing…please don’t disappear, we are all here for you. What graphic stuff? I didn’t see it…did it go poof?

  334. dreamer says:

    talk about drama: i have a sd writing me for naked pix. ”SD” my hind end! im so tired of this stuff. :( i just want a real sd, some good times, and not have to worry about selling my car to pay rent. Everything is starting to get so rediculous! Ill talk to you all in a few days while I try to work this out.

  335. ppp1256 says:

    Gail: who is your day going?

  336. ppp1256 says:

    chrisohbabyy I find the fact that you volunteer for the MS society very selfless and caring. Keep up the Good work.

  337. ppp1256 says:

    kimberly can you give me a hint to find you profile. I am in MA

  338. Lady_Kimberly says:

    Sugar&Spice:

    Please!!! DOH! His profile stinks and uh, what’s he thinking? lol

    Just my 2 cents

    Kimberly

  339. SuthrnExec says:

    Lady_Kimberly, I am in TN – while I know the moderator (and I play one on TV), I am not the moderator… :-)

  340. Jen says:

    sorry words of wisdom..

  341. Jen says:

    I have been reading the blogs fir the last few weeks. I am a new plus size SB. I have learned many things to do and not to do. Thanks for all of the advice.
    I am trying this because, I want something more. Don’t get me wrong, I have a good life and job, but something is missing. I work hard as a nurse for little pay.
    Between taking care of my 3 yr old, daycare, for which he has to go 5 days a week, paying bills and trying not to lose my home. I don’t have much left for myself. My bills are low, but I need new clothes and I just spent a good amount of money at Lane Bryant at 23% interest..

    As for a gift on the first meeting, I feel different. The first “date” is like a meet and greet. No matter how many times you email, text or talk on the phone, you never know about the person until you meet in person. Now the second “date” a thoughtful gift would be nice.

    Now, I am about to put in my 2 cents.

    Lisa, I have been reading you posts for the last several weeks. I have a few suggestions for you. These are only suggestions, you can take them or leave them. The choice is yours.
    You stated that “I will never take a government handout”, Why not?
    It is time that you break the cycle that you Mother started. Everyone needs a little help, either from friends, SD’s or the government.
    You have internet access, use it to help yourself. Type in you state and start looking. Don’t let you pride get in the way of you getting the help that you need. Just think of it this way, most private assistance agencies are support by local SD’S.
    As for medical care, check the local Medicaid website. The rules have changed and you may just be surprised.
    As I said before, these are just suggestions. Please think about them.
    sorry to hear about the pigeons..

    To SuthrnExec and SouthernGent…Thank you for your works of wisdom.

    To all other SB’s: Remember to be safe and have fun!!

  342. Lady_Kimberly says:

    SuthrnExec? Where are you located? I responded to the moderator about speaking to a journalist and I thought it was you…

    Lady_Kimberly

  343. Lady_Kimberly says:

    ppp1256: I am in Oklahoma… Can and will travel, have time and flexibility. 😉

    c[_] Coffee for all…love this thread.

    LadyKimberly

  344. dreamer says:

    oh that was funny up there ^ chrisoh.. the graphic stuff. Made me laugh a little

  345. chrisohbabyy says:

    NJ @ ppp1256

    Jersey girl always.

  346. Gail says:

    ppp1256…Kimberly has not signed in yet…(smile) but I am here in CA…good morning sunshine!!! Coffee for you ppp1256?

  347. ppp1256 says:

    Kimberly are you in RI?

  348. ppp1256 says:

    chrisohbabyy: where are you located?

  349. dreamer says:

    it hurts when you lose a pet, especially when you are alone.. I moved out my moms house when i was 16 and she wouldnt let me take any of my stuff, including my dog.. then one day one of my baby sisters called me crying bc moms bf intentionally ran over my dog. If there is any mans balls i want to cut off, its his. Sounds like you need to take the cat to the pound, not kill it. It was doing what cats do naturally.. Hunt. I have a dog and a fish now, and i would be at a loss without them. And im sticking by the no cash on first date thing.. A gift, fine.. A gift card is nice.. Money to cover travel expenses is always great.. But not like a straight up allowance amount, I think you should build up his trust, just like he wants to build up your trust to get more of you 😉

  350. lisa says:

    I know my neghbors didn’t find the cat and raise it. actually like most of the people here, they get pets without any regards, I really doubt that they paid the 300 deposit for it so I should report them to the office. They are a family of about 8 living in a one bedroom apartment so I doubt they paid 300 for a cat deposit. they have had it about a month and the kids are always up on my porch where they don’t belong dangling the cat off the railing and throwing it down the stairs so I doubt they would really miss it. can’t bring the other bird inside, it’s a wild pigeon that I can’t catch. It really upsets me as these birds have been living on my windowsill ever since I moved over here and was going through a really bad time.

  351. chrisohbabyy says:

    Now I usually hang out in upscale places whether it’s shopping or dining and i’ve found that *no i don’t have a neon SB sign above my head* …well i’ve gotten several SD offers but after a date or two i realize they’re as dull as dirt & no amount of sugar-lovin will make me sit through another date holding myself back from slitting my wrists with the butter knife….*sorry i know it’s graphic lol* But really…

    I thought the online thing would be better cause at least I’d be able to find out a bit about someone before i get all cute for no reason haha BUT oh NOO it seems that 9 out of 10 SDs are fake on this site or i just have really really bad luck online.

    Someone tell me what i’m doing wrong. I’m an attractive girl but i refuse to compromise my dignity for a shopping spree at neimans. I think most men are looking for a “pay to play” kind of relationship…am i wrong for looking for a more traditional SD?

  352. Kimberly says:

    I am hoping to find a SD as well. I am 37 and I have never HAD to work. No ladies, I wasn’t rich by any means, I was just married for 20 years of my life and didn’t have to. I am what most would call a displaced home-maker. It’s not that I can’t work (I do work) it’s more of a phobia, being out in the big world trying to make it on my own. My job, McDonalds, doesn’t take care of everything that I need it too. My bills are low, but my paycheck is lower. Get a better job…? Yeah, I could, but I don’t have the work history behind me to do so.

    If and when I find a SD, I will pride myself in making sure he is totally happy with our arrangement. I am skilled at many things and I believe I would be a valuable asset to any SD. Not too mention a great companion!

    I am re-writing my profile for the 3rd time. This time I wrote it out on paper…I believe it will be the winning sales letter for me. I am simply just going to put out there, what I am looking for… not beat around the bush. Both short-term and long-term. The right SD will happen across my page, be interested and the rest will be history 😉

    Kimberly

  353. ppp1256 says:

    Miss T where are you located?

  354. Miss T says:

    I think the best method of payment is whatever works for you. I’m fortunate enough to have a job where I can pay the basics (rent, cable, phone, internet, groceries) but after that’s all gone, there’s nothing left for anything else. It’s my first time living on my own and I’m finding it a little tough, and it’s hard getting used to not having a few extras every so often (clothes, books, trips to the spa, things like that) so if my SD were to give me a gift cert for a day at the spa, or for a store I like I’d love that. The thing that I really need the most right now though really are bras and massages. I have large (32G) natural breasts and sometimes it’s just not fun. I can decide: new bra or groceries for the month. Not a nice choice to make and I am in DESPERATE need of at least 2 new bras. And then there’s the back issues. I used to get the massages for free when I was a student and had insurance, but that ended so now I get none because I can’t afford them. It kinda sucks.

    And Lisa, please don’t feed your neighbor’s kitty ‘a little something extra’. How do you know they didn’t find the kitty as a baby in a box with it’s dead brother and raised it by hand since then? Think of how upset you were when you found your bird dead. They’ll probably feel just as bad when their kitty dies. Killing the kitty won’t bring your bird back. All you can really do is keep your remaining birds inside safe from the kitty.

  355. lisa says:

    congrats Gail and I agree that there is nothing wrong with cash on the first meeting, it shows they are sincere. Kind of like showing up dresses appropriately for a job interview, you might be a great worker, but show up sloppy and act like you’re half asleep, employer won’t take you seriously. first impressions are vital.
    I wish I could find an sd, had that time waster this past week, cancelled twice, he’s history. My hours have been cut at work again so i’ll be seeing those 150 week checks, so I am down to using everything for rent and bills, got dec taken care of, now every penny goes towards jan rent.
    I’m also very sad right now as I just found out that the neighbor’s cat that they let run wild, ripped on of my pigeons to shreads. I just found his feathers on the porch and his mate is sitting up on the windowsill alone. I have raised their baby since he was little and still have him inside in a cage. Found him and his stomped to death brother knocked out of the nest one night when I came home from work about 6 months ago. I know everyone hates pigeons but I love them and I know if I was a bird,i’d probably be a pigeon, the bird no one likes. lol Anyway i’m thinking of picking up some food for kitty and adding a little somthing extra to it as i will not tolerate it killing the other pigeon and the neighbors don’t speak english so talking to them is useless.

  356. Gail says:

    I have no problem with accepting cash the first time. Especially if the SD suggested it and agreed in advance. In some cases on the first meeting two people can click…it doesn’t always end sad:) I am happy for the experiences, the surprises, the travel, and the opportunity to do more in my life. I have been very fortuate and met wonderful sugardaddies here.
    I am smiling more often than not. I suppose we all have our own thoughts,experiences, and do things differently. Thats the beauty of being who we are.

    BTW I will be meeting a new SD around Christmas. He is flying in from out of country:) His children lives only 2 hours away from me. Our conversations and e-mail have been wonderful…I can’t stop smiling:) And he is bringing me a gift. I didn’t have to ask…lucky me!!!

  357. dreamer says:

    i dont think there should be any cash the first time.. Thats just weird.. I think if an sb expects it the first time she is indicating that she may never see him again.. Like the same with no sex, you wouldnt on the 1st date bc you think he will never talk to you after that. This is a two person game..

  358. ppp1256 says:

    BTW I have an SB and we meet each week. The first time we met no cash was exchanged but we got along instantly. So it worked.

  359. ppp1256 says:

    A Question for Everybody: Since SBs are insistent upon an allowance for the first few dates before deciding on something longer term, what would an appropriate amount me? 200?

  360. lisa says:

    I agree, the minute he wants to spend any amount of time with the sb, he needs to have the allowance ready. If he’s just looking for someone to hang out with, join a different site. I think many of the guys on this site understand the nsa thing but that’s all they are looking for, free sex with no obligations, they dont’ get the meaning of the sd/sb relationship. there is more to it than nsa

  361. lisa says:

    Cash is king. Checks bounce, credit cards can be declined or cancelled, gifts are nice but they don’t pay the bills. On my last sd meeting, months ago, I had some nice clothes, expensive makeup, but no food in my fridge, I was shopping one day with my sd, and at the food pantry the next day getting food handouts of boring rice and beans. So cash is my preference

  362. GothicNC says:

    Td said: “If an SD is genuine, why rush to get an allowance? ”

    A refusal to discuss compensation for two or three dates could very well indicate that he ISN’T a genuine SD. How many SBs here have had bad experiences with fake SDs? How are we going to know he’s for real and not a cheapskate hoping to scam us if he isn’t willing to offer up at the same time he’s asking for things?

  363. Kimberly says:

    I have been thinking about this as well…what type of payment should I opt to receive, besides cash?

    How about a prepaid type visa or mastercard, in YOUR name that he goes to walmart and funds for you. There are no bills for this and no record of who funded the card, only your name is on it.

    I suppose cash is cool, and I could fund the card myself.

    Just my 5 cents! 😉

    Kimberly

  364. lisa says:

    If taxes are involved, you lose a large portion of your allowance. I think it is taxed different and if your sd pays you straight, you have to pay self employment tax too which is 15.3% plus social sec, taking a large portion of your money. It’s kind of like if you owe a big credit card bill and the company settles for half, you end up having to pay tax on the amount you didn’t have to pay on the credit card because the irs considers it income. Many of my credit card companies wanted to settle for 30% but i’d rather default on all of them rather than settle an end up paying back 30% plus 15% tax on the forgiven amount as I don’t exactly have 4000 to pay in taxes.
    I would rather get less from a sugardaddy (1000 month would be sufficient for me) in cash than get alot and have to lose it all in taxes. I pay enough in tax already and get nothing in return as I don’t use the roads, hospitals, medical care, or any public assistance agencies. Paying self employment tax which is what you have to pay if you get paid straight (such as a sd paying you a check without taking out withholding) is a pain. I used to have to do my mom’s taxes, send payments every quarter, fill out lots of forms. Also it takes some of the sweetness out of the deal. It is like a guy taking you out on a date and saving the receipt for tax purposes. tacky
    A guy paying a moderate allowance should just think of it as entertainment expenses or personal spending.

  365. Gail says:

    Lisa-(Smile) Everyone has to pay taxes…lol…to you he may be cheap, to him he is saving money. As always you amuse me:)

    dreamer-Tell me about tuition. I am paying for two daughter 3rd year and boy 2nd year in college. Would love to find a SD to help:) And no problem he can have the write-off:)

    BT-I agree CASH, no PLASTIC especially for shopping

    Erika-What a lucky duck you are…he does truly care about you if he takes care of your education and medical expenses:)

    Southern Exec-You are charming as ever….so much brain power…SEXY!!!

  366. dreamer says:

    some tuitions are expensive.. Very very expensive and if a SD is coving it for you, it would be a huge chunk out of his wallet, I think he has a right to write that off if he chooses to.. Its only fair, and legal

  367. lisa says:

    I don’t think taxes should even be involved. Pay cash and buy gifts, etc. It should be no different than when someone takes you to lunch or gives you cash for your birthday, you certainly don’t declare that do you? If you find money you don’t declare that do you? The transactions between a sb and sd should be personal, not business and . If the sd is looking for a tax break, he is cheap, just consider it disposable income.

  368. SuthrnExec says:

    Regarding the best way to receive the allowance – cash is usually best, but that can be an issue when it gets into 1000s of $$. Note the following – but first, the DISCLAIMER – I am not an attorney or a tax accountant or offering tax advice.

    The following was gleaned from the IRS web site:

    Who pays the gift tax?
    The donor is generally responsible for paying the gift tax. Under special arrangements the donee may agree to pay the tax instead.

    What is considered a gift?
    Any transfer to an individual, either directly or indirectly, where full consideration (measured in money or money’s worth) is not received in return.

    What can be excluded from gifts?
    The general rule is that any gift is a taxable gift. However, there are many exceptions to this rule. Generally, the following gifts are not taxable gifts.
    – Gifts that are not more than the annual exclusion for the calendar year.
    – Tuition or medical expenses you pay for someone (the educational and medical exclusions).
    – Gifts to a political organization for its use.

    In addition to this, gifts to qualifying charities are deductible from the value of the gift(s) made.

  369. lisa says:

    I think a sb should set the allowance aside only if the sd sets aside any intimacy. Have a platonic friendship, no allowance, no sex if that’s what you are looking for. But this is a sugardaddy sight so why join if you are just looking for someone to date and see how things go? If I want to meet a man who wants to have sex and see how things go along without helping me financially, there are plenty of sites for that. Why pretend it is something it isn’t , why not be honest, that is why there is a budget amount in the profiles and what the sbs expect.
    If a man doesn’t want to pay an allowance, he should join a regular dating site like the E one and find him a nice plump girl to go to church with and see how things go, if it doesn’t work out, nothing lost, if it does, the man didnt’ promise any allowance so is is n’t expected.
    Best way for me to avoid the allowance topic is to find a different site.

  370. TD says:

    Megadeath/vivienne:
    Requesting money on the second date might make an SD feel like his company is a complete chore for her, and he will search for a girl who enjoys him time more.

    Generally, SDs will become more and more generous as they grow attached to their SBs. There are plenty of good ones who are trying to ‘weed out’ the bad SBs who might be feigning interest to recieve their first check.

    If an SD is genuine, why rush to get an allowance? Try to enjoy the time you spend with him, or move on and find another one. Trying to put a cash ammount on sexual favors won’t work in this game, since he could find a gorgeous prostitute for a fraction of the cost of taking care of an SB. Take your time and look for an emotional connection.

  371. bostonTerrier says:

    i agree with the cash.

    i’d never do the credit card thing – it’d be funny to have it declined or something when you’re shopping :(

  372. lisa says:

    I believe cash is best, along with some shopping. I would not give anyone access to my bank account number. I also agree that if you give a potential sd your time, he should compensate you. You are taking some of your time to spend with him, which means you are doing your part,now he needs to do his part. Most likely the sb is spending time with a man who is either married or has no desire to have a future with the sb, so if a sb is going to give her time to someone who will never love her and that has no future, she best be compensated.

  373. Cupcake says:

    OK, I have a question…what is the BEST and SAFEST way for a SB to get compensated (besides gifts)? Cash? Credit Card? Checks? I’ve read a few blogs about being careful w/ your gifted money as you may get audited by the IRS if they see suddenly see all this money in your account. Anyone have any advice on handling this?

  374. SuthrnExec says:

    Keep the faith ladies — there are still some good SDs out there! And we will even treat you as a gentleman should!

  375. Erika says:

    Cupcake, I so agree with you, and you know what, sometimes we don’t know of how much we are worth untill we get used the first time. Unfortunately, thats exactly what happened to me wtih this fake SD I met (I would love to post his profile somewhere so other young girls dont fall to the same measure as I did, because its shamefull). Anyhow, just because of a rotten apple, I didn’t give up hope, I met another interesting gentlemen whom I can really tell by his actions( has paid spring tuition and has taken over my medical bills) that he trully cares of what happens to me.

  376. girlygirl says:

    @Vivienne — very good point about solicitation.

    It has never made sense to me that sex workers get “saved” from exploitation by being arrested and thrown in jail — not to mention that there are undercover cops in some states who are PERMITTED to HAVE SEX with streetwalkers before arresting them!

    Don’t get me wrong, sex work is not a good scenario for anyone, but often if the woman is financially desperate, she has less choice. The man who just wants to get laid is obviously the one who could have stopped it from happening.

    Too many men have told me that I “don’t get” the site if I think that I don’t need to be sexually available for him whenever, wherever he wants it. Their money doesn’t give them the ability to turn us all into prostitutes. I think sugar babes should be more assertive in refusing to accept that kind of treatment.

  377. Maela says:

    Hi! I’m new to the blog but I’ve been on the site for a while. There’s a ton of good info on these blogs!

  378. Vivienne says:

    MegaDeath hit the nail on the head. If your potential SD hasn’t put a “down payment” on the table by the 2nd date (he requested the date, right?), he’s probably wasting your time or planning to use you for whatever he thinks he can get away with. Or heck, maybe he’s just indecisive. Or lonesome. Just wants somebody to talk to.

    Remember this: that’s what an arrangement is for. It’s a lot more than just sex. It is companionship, friendship, a cure for loneliness (even if temporary), and having a caring person to talk to. So don’t hesitate to remind a fellow of that. If he wants your companionship on a semi-regular or regular basis (even if it’s platonic w/ no sex), there is a price. You have your needs, too, ladies. Get them met.

    It’s not sex for money. That, by definition, is prostitution. Aspiring SD’s out there need to understand the difference before entering the SD/SB dating world…or they might just proposition the wrong girl who is offended by his “sex-for-money” offer and wind up in jail for solicitation!

    I know that if a potential SD approached me so tactlessly, I would not hesitate to file a solicitation charge against him!

  379. Cupcake says:

    This is really simplified, but….the SD wants your time, the SB wants his money, right? So why are SBs giving their time on multiple dates with no money in return??? You want my time? You pay me for it. I agree that the first meeting should be strictly to see if you click, but any time spent together beyond that should be compensated for. Obviously if the SD wants to see you for a second time, he believes there is some sort of connection there. Do not fall for the SD line “Oh, I’d like to see you yet again to see if this will work out.”

    Come on ladies, you are worth it! Ask for it!

  380. BettiegirlDD says:

    This all comes back to the double standard. We don’t fault the guys for saying “I want a redhead” or “must be under 110lbs” because the principle here is that people with skills and power can get what they want. But when a SB says I want x y and z it’s “touchy.” Sure there’s some deocrum to bringing up the nitty gritty but if a sugar daddy thinks it’s unbecoming of a woman to have expectations or want some reassurance.. maybe sugar dating isn’t for him.
    I would liken a “guy who buys dinner” misrepresenting his willingness for an arrangement to a lady who neglected to mention the operation isn’t complete and her name’s still legally Rick. But what about your “chemestry?!” Why don’t you still want to be friends with Rick!? Because thats not what you’re looking for, is why. Walk a mile in our stilettos, guys!
    Just to qualify where I’m coming from: I had a 6-mo relationship with a SD I met in person, trying to make online work for me. No offense to anyone who is or is seeking a pre op. :)

  381. lisa says:

    I agree MegaDeath

  382. MegaDeath says:

    Im seeing a lot of girls saying they aren’t getting what the expected out of the arrangement allowancewise. I say that the only meeting that can get a free pass is the first one-no intimacy…unless you’re willing to take a chance of never seeing him again anyway. If he asks you on a second date he needs to place a down payment. Seriously. I might sound harsh and bitchy or whatever but believe me ladies, it’s a sure way not to get screwed and waste your time infinitely

  383. GothicNC says:

    Exactly. Men aren’t inanimate objects that you can stick in your pocket. You can’t “steal” a man unless he’s willing to be stolen.

    Sometimes the “other woman” doesn’t even know what’s going on. But even if she does, who took the wedding vows, anyway?

  384. SuthrnExec says:

    Kimberly, welcome aboard! Good luck in your search. And you’re exactly right about accepting respon for our actions. Bottom-line is that we are all individuals and we have to be able to live with the consequences of our decisions. As my mom used to tell me – “You made your bed, now lie in it!” Didn’t like hearing it at the time, but she was right.

    JaneyW, you’re dead-on! I hate the double-standards!

    I hope everyone’s weekend is starting out to be a good one!

  385. Kimberly says:

    Hello my name is Kimberly and I am a new SB. I have enjoyed reading everyones comments. These Q&A’s are helping me to get things right the first time.

    As for married men.. I don’t have anything to say about other SB’s who are aquainting themselves with married me. I just know it is not for me because I have been on the other side of the spectrum. It hurts. I do however know that women do it to. My ex’s first, one night stand was cheating on her husband.

    My motto is: accept responsibility for your own actions and not those of someone elses.. and everything will always work out in the end, the way it should. In my case, I left….MAKING IT work out for me.

    I am not in this for just the money, I am wanting sincere companionship with someone who wants it with me. I have a lot to offer an eligible bachelor who wants to be my Sugar Daddy. I will treat him the best way I know how, and that, by getting to know Him, his wants, needs, desires… Yes I am looking for and expecting the financial blessing as well…

    but as a poster so eloquently said above:
    If I may quote you BettiegirlDD (btw….well worded!)

    “Obviously for the time and energy invested I could more easily get a 2nd job if all I wanted was money. ”

    Ok and SuthrnExec: Loved your words of wisdom and advice. A true leader you are :-)

    Respect To All Posters,
    Kimberly

  386. JaneyW says:

    Miss T, You made me realize that I am quick to point the finger at the woman for breaking up the marriage and not the man. Look at the whole Angelina vs Jen feud. Does anyone ever blame Brad?

    Why are women seen as home wreckers and men walk scott free?

    To answer my own question; I think we expect women to be pure and meek, but we tend to excuse men from such behavior because “boys will be boys!”

    In other words we expect men to cheat or exhibit bad behavior because we believe they just can’t help themselves. Women who entice men or have lots of sex are viewed negatively by societal standards.

  387. dreamer says:

    i know i would be very distressed if i even thought i was the reason a couple got a divorce.. I dont know many people who would be okay with it and cause it intentially

  388. Miss T says:

    JaneyW, I’m just curious, how do you know it was the SB’s fault? Maybe the SD was very unhappy with the marriage and was contemplating leaving even before he met her. She may have even tried to convince him to stay but he had already made up his mind.

  389. lisa says:

    I am going to ignore his email and wait and see if he writes back.
    Looks like I will be doing nothing again tomorrow on my day off.

    As far as married sds, this site has nothing to do with men cheating on or leaving their families. I know of plenty of men who are not sds that have left their families for various reasons, not always another woman, and cheating has always been around and existed long before the internet.
    I met one guy on another site who left his much younger, very attractive wife and two little boys to spend his time ministering to prison men, including child sex offenders. So if a man (or a woman) wants to cheat or desert their family, they will do it, even without this site.

  390. JaneyW says:

    That’s a disgrace what that sugar baby did. It’s one thing to steal a man away who’s in an unhappy marriage, but someone with two young kids! That’s just wrong. I hope the wife got a good settlement package.

    I am currently seeing a married man and he wants to see me everyday, but I refuse to because he has a family who needs him and I have millions of other SINGLE guys to date. I would never let him leave his family for me.

  391. SuthrnExec says:

    I wouldn’t waste the time – if he’s never done this before, maybe he gets cold feet. I would just tell him that when he’s ready to meet, let you know (if you would still want to meet him). Otherwise, if you keep showing interest by contacting him, he will probably string you along.

  392. GothicNC says:

    That is good advice, SuthrnExec, thank you. It’s very helpful to have a well-thought-out opinion on the tough questions from someone on the other end of the situation. :-)

  393. lisa says:

    question I have been chatting with a potential sd for the past 10 days, and he keeps making excuses that he is too tied up with work to meet.
    He cancelled on me on monday and now he has cancelled on me tomorrow. He is an older sd, in his 60’s so he should be past the game playing that goes on here. there has been some inconsistency in a couple of his emails such as saying he was sorry he didn’t get back to me sooner, but he was away from the computer, yet he logged on several times the same day and then the one about being busy because family came into town for the holiday and then saying he spent thanksgiving alone and that the family had went out of state to visit relatives.
    I would like to send him an email back but not sure what to say. Is it best to just ignore it and see if he writes back or let him know how disappointed I am in his cancelling twice on me.

  394. Stephan (moderator) says:

    SuthrnExec:

    That is Great advice (like always) 😀

  395. SuthrnExec says:

    I would suggest that the next time he calls or emails and wants to get together, simply ask him, “Can we talk about an allowance ____ [over dinner, over coffee, etc.]?” And then let him answer. Sometimes when asking uncomfortable questions, we tend to ramble or qualify the question. When you ask the question simply and then let them answer, you are in control. If you keep talking/writing and qualifying the question, you are disarming yourself and allowing the other person have control. Silence is powerful – use it to you advantage! Good luck.

  396. Cookie says:

    So, I’ve had 2 dates with an SD … we had a wonderful time together and we have an understanding as far as the NSA type of relationship. We just haven’t talked on the financial arrangement part that he bragged about in his profile. We’ve had dinners and went dancing, bowling … I’m certainly not in it for the money because I haven’t been out since my mother passed away last year. But what do I do when thats what I expected … I would hate to bring it up, I’d rather him ask. Can you tell this is my first SD experience? lol

  397. SuthrnExec says:

    BTW, GirlyGirl, good post – and I think you may be on to something with the Bill of Sugar Rights!

  398. SuthrnExec says:

    BettiegirlDD, I’m not certain what you mean by “chat date” but if you mean the endless chatting through instant messaging, I would just suggest that you somehow relay the message that the purpose of the chatting is to establish whether there is enough interest in each other to meet in person. I suppose a lot of “personal preference” comes into play here as well. Some might enjoy a lot of chatting, whereas some don’t require much at all before they know if they want to meet face-to-face. I personally can go either way with it – I enjoy learning about someone through text – and I enjoy letting them get to know me that way as well because I think I communicate fairly well through the written word.

    I have observed that timing something to do with the success of establishing relationships of these kind. If I am not available to meet someone for a few weeks and we are not able or do not want to stay in touch until that time comes, it seems unlikely that we will reconnect when the time is right for both of us. It happens, but it’s probably not but a small minority of the time that it happens.

    I would say that you should also go with your gut. If you’re talking with someone for quiet sometime and they won’t even discuss meeting or an arrangement and your gut tells you that this person is lonely and just wants to talk – you’re probably right. Unless you’re lonely too and want to feed on each other’s loneliness, move on. There are plenty of other folks out there. You just simply have to find the person who is looking for the same thing you’re looking for – and you will, with patience, you will.

    Now if I have missed the boat completely with my interpretation of “chat dating”, as Roseanne Roseannadanna would say, “Never mind.”

  399. girlygirl says:

    I think most girls would rather be spoiled spontaneously! Even though we know arrangements are NSA, it is hard for a girl to plan a romantic rendez-vous the way her sugar daddy could. And I think if a man is sincerely interested an arrangement with you, spoiling you should be second nature! If you mention that you have never seen Paris, he will want to take you there. If you can’t get your schoolwork done because you don’t have a computer, then he will want to help you because he is generous! Whenever I have a bit of extra money, that’s how I think, myself.

    The only reason an arrangement would be mechanical, aside from convenience, is if you don’t know each other well enough to know what you want most out of life. I think that Sugar Daddies should understand the vicious circle that happens: when girls learn to be afraid of being used, they might be “too” clear about their financial expectations. Of course there are people on both ends who abuse this system, but there are a few sincere people on this site. ;.) That’s why I think everyone should give prospects more leeway when they are first getting to know each other.

    I think we need a Bill of Sugar Rights… :.)

  400. BettiegirlDD says:

    SuthrnExec: Cant speak for everyone but I’m definately in it for the thrill of a secret romance wherein I’m a princess, a fantasy, adored, etc. Obviously for the time and energy invested I could more easily get a 2nd job if all I wanted was money.

    Having been such a integral member of this blog you have to know there’re a lot of ‘strokers’ on here cruising for free chat dates. At what point is it warranted, in your book, to tell a suitor to put up or shut up? I bet if you believed everyone who told you the check was in the mail, you wouldn’t be an exec!

    SouthernBellHales: Welcome, and prepare to be patient. :)

  401. SouthernBellHales says:

    I completely agree with SuthrnExec…

    It’s not totally about the money for me…
    So you can’t spoil your SD/SM with the finanicial aspect but you can definitely spoil them on the affection side and I love giving all my love to the people I care about most.

    BTW, I’m new to the site, please wish me luck. I have a few emails.

  402. SuthrnExec says:

    Each situation has it’s own context-defining characteristics, but generally, I would prefer a SB wait until at least the first visit to talk about finances – I want the chemistry to be great! Also, when I get hit with “How much can you send me?” almost from the get-go, I get the impression that the SB is in it ONLY for the $$. I would prefer to think that there is some benefit to the SB in addition to the financial side that she enjoys – the friendship, companionship, the chemistry, the mentoring, whatever. At least make me THINK it’s about more than just the money. I think I have a lot to offer besides the cash and hopefully those other things would appeal to a SB as well.

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