8 years ago
Sugar Dating: Quick Stint or Way of Life?

image

Throughout this blog, there have been Sugar Babies, and Sugar Daddies, who have expressed their opinions about members who have used the site for extended periods of time.

Now, it’s time to clear the air and talk about why some SD’s & SB’s choose to stay for a few weeks, or a lifetime.

Lisa:

I don’t know about everyone else , but I am on this site to meet someone and if I see my response slow down, I will update my profile, not just leave it the same all the time.

Sugar Daddy Dating isn’t like normal dating, which is generally geared towards finding a monogamous partner in lasting love. This may explain why many Sugar Daddies, and Sugar Babies, choose to keep their profiles active for a few months, then non-active for a few months, and then active again – perhaps on and off like that, for a lifetime.

SeekingArrangement.com was founded to provide a home for those who practice the Mutually Beneficial Arrangement lifestyle. There’s not a true end-goal built-in to the sugar daddy lifestyle, in fact, for many here, making arrangements as opposed to dating for marriage is one of the most appealing aspects of mutually beneficial dating.

Does anyone think that there is a different measuring stick for Sugar Daddies and Sugar Babies in terms of how long they should be on the site?

Who thinks that SeekingArrangement.com is one of the best examples of a dating site where it’s actually more appropriate to maintain a profile indefinitely?

Why and When should a Sugar Daddy or Sugar Baby update or change his or her profile?

Comments ON (Vote on the Polls!!! —> see sidebar)

Leave a Reply

Comment with your SeekingArrangement account

Login using your SeekingArrangement account to post a comment.

Or post anonymously

Use a guest account to post your comment anonymously.

94 Responses to “Sugar Dating: Quick Stint or Way of Life?”

  1. weight loss says:

    Nice site! thanks for the great post…%d%a%d%aPeople should read this.

  2. Social Bookmarks Submitter says:

    Submit Links to Social Bookmarking Websites Automatically! Get Thousands of Visitors! Increase Website Traffic and Income with Automatic Social Bookmarks Submitter. Prepare to upgrade your servers today – you will have thousands of real and highly targeted visitors who will make you the money like crazy!

  3. pass the drug test says:

    Some helpful detox products allow the individual a better chance at becoming free from the grasps of poison harmful toxins or addictions.

  4. Social Bookmarks Submitter says:

    Submit Links to Social Bookmarking Websites Automatically! Get Thousands of Visitors! Increase Website Traffic and Income with Automatic Social Bookmarks Submitter. Prepare to upgrade your servers today

  5. how to pass a drug test says:

    Detoxification generally can take anywhere from three to five days to be completed, depending on the frequency and quantity of the drug substances that were being abused, and the process of which the detoxification is being undergone. When detoxification is being completed under medical care, medications are usually given to the patient to alleviate the pain of the withdrawal symptoms, and aid in the avoidance of any permanent side effects resulting from the detoxification process.

  6. Dating Agencies For Married People says:

    Sounds reasonable.

  7. Search Engines Parser says:

    Search Engines Parser is enormously fast, 100% automatic search engine results extractor you were dreaming about for many times. Search Engines Parser can extract results from all search engines at the same time, parse titles, descriptions and links automatically. You can specify which search engine(s) to use and what kind of data to parse. Search Engines Parser can output results to screen, export to MySQL database and write to CSV file.

  8. Match Ideas Home Page Date Eharmony Great Profile Back Day says:

    Whatz up, what entice you to post an article on Sugar Daddy Dating – Quick Stint, or Way of Life?? This article was extremely interesting, especially since I was searching for thoughts on this subject last Thursday.

  9. Dating Online For Lonely And Female Singles says:

    Hi there Guru, what entice you to post an article on Sugar Daddy Dating – Quick Stint, or Way of Life?? This article was extremely interesting, especially since I was searching for thoughts on this subject last Thursday.

  10. Comment Poster says:

    Post comments on websites automatically using automated comments posting software. Get thousands of backlinks per day, increase your sales and earnings. Automated comments poster is the best way to build backlinks and promote websites automatically!

  11. YouTube Comments Poster says:

    Did you know you can post comments automatically on websites like YouTube, XTube, Revver and more? You don’t? I’ll teach you how! Post comments automatically on video sharing websites, promote your websites, products and services automatically! YouTube Comments Poster – the best way to promote products and services for people who are interested in your niche!

  12. MASTERPIECE says:

    I have to say this twice, sorry.

    P.S. Some advice to other SD’s: Restate your intentions from the first phone conversation. We SB’s want the reassurance you are not wasting time and looking for something else (ie, no arrangement). If that’s really what you want, then try match.com.

    So, SD’s, take the lead, please. Leadership is the ultimate aphrodisiac. If there is chemistry, reassure and state you will take the lead on the arrangement. Don’t diminish your chances with a new SB as we don’t want to have to “be strong” and bring this up.

  13. MASTERPIECE says:

    I came here for guidelines, step by step, but now I need to log off and ask myself –what do I really want and how can I be really clear about that from the beginning? What gets in my way from being clear? Do I want to be “nice” and compromise what I really want?

    This may seem shocking, but it’s not only the SD’s that want a great adventurous sexual relationship. Ladies, help me out, don’t we want that too? Of course we all know without chemistry it’s just ok sex. Gross, who wants that?! To me, that is prostitution. Let those that signed up for that way of life do that.

    I am making an assumption that SD’s who come here are wanting more. For the record, I want GREAT sex too, and that of course means there is a connection and mutual respect. Fondly, a sensual SB.

  14. MASTERPIECE says:

    hey, SuthrnExec, you sound like a good SD.

  15. MASTERPIECE says:

    Hey, how did the spammers get in here? Out with you!

  16. Social Bookmarks Demon says:

    Social Bookmarks Demon is enormously powerful, 100% automatic social bookmarking software which will build UNLIMITED number of top quality backlinks, send first-class traffic in minutes, increase your affiliate sales, AdSense income and site revenue as much as never. Social Bookmarks Demon combines features of ALL social bookmarking tools available in the market for price of single tool.

  17. Dave says:

    Hey, would you like to submit comments and backlinks to millions of blogs automatically? Blog Comment Poster will do it for you. Blog Comment Poster will increase your traffic, backlinks and earnings dramatically! Sounds cool? Yes, it is cool! It’s the best automated comments posting tool on the Internet with many advanced features. Check it out!

  18. Social Bookmarks Submitter says:

    Submit Links to Social Bookmarking Websites Automatically! Get Thousands of Visitors! Increase Website Traffic and Income with Automatic Social Bookmarks Submitter. Prepare to upgrade your servers today

  19. SBinTexas says:

    I’ve had a few real SD’s before, and when my last relationship ended, I thought I would give this site a try.

    What amazed me most was how many guys put up profiles here advertising themselves as SD’s…until you start dating them and they finally confess that they are actually not of the financial status they claimed.

    One potential SD even went so far as to commit to a 3-month relationship,strung me along for a month (paid for 1/2 month allowance) telling me about how he was so excited to have found me, that I was the girl of his dreams, that he wanted a long-term thing, that he was falling in love with me…gave me a key to his house…before finally confessing that he didn’t even have the money to pay the 2nd half of my monthly allowance, that he was flat broke!

    WTF are some of these guys THINKING when they join a site like SA? Are they just hoping that the ladies here will fall so head over heels in love with them (after only a few dates?) that she’ll suddenly realize she doesn’t need money anymore? That she can live on love alone?

    Reminds me of a great old song by the Beatles:

    “Your lovin’ gives me such a thrill
    But your lovin’ don’t pay my bills

    Money don’t get everything, it’s true
    But what it don’t get, I can’t use.”

    — “Money (That’s What I Want)”
    The Beatles

  20. SuthrnExec says:

    Ms V, I must agree with Gail, you are missed! Hope things are well.

  21. Gail says:

    OH!!!OH!!! There you are Ms.V…We have been missing you too. Geek squad? If it is just a crush, just do it and get it over with. LOL….Maybe it will be more, or even better a tech to support your computer 24/7….How is your new job…I can tell its been working you:) All we need here is a post everyday with your unique spin on things….LOL…Miss you!!!!

  22. Ms. V says:

    Hey hey hey all!

    oh, momma just wants some fire and a new caddi…..someone to take the place of my current geek squad crush. I got it bad, ya’ll. Haven’t even given him any of the goods yet, either…you’re right Gail- the brains are the sexiest part of the man….ambition and the promise of power are not far behind either 😉

    miss u guys

  23. Ben says:

    Southern Exec – thanks. It is tough though – not being able to share any of the joys (and at times problems) of this lifestyle. This friend of mine had shared that he was on Craigslist looking for massages and he found one – whom he emailed and found out she provides a “happy ending.” Now – this isn’t full scale prostitution, but isn’t innocent either. Anyhow – just is unfortunate. I’ll keep things quiet going forward – only sharing secrets here with all of you.

  24. Gail says:

    Love the quote creator!!! And oh so true!!!! Have a great day!!!

  25. cre8tor says:

    Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.
    – Dr. Seuss

  26. SuthrnExec says:

    Ben, I have never run into a situation of having friends who don’t approve of the life style because I don’t tell them. If you value discretion, you should never share the info with any close to you. Most people have a strong opinion one way or the other about this lifestyle – hardly anyone has a ‘take-it-or-leave-it” attitude towards it. My advice – keep it between you and the SB/SD.

  27. Ben says:

    Wow – lots of comments.

    Good evening all. BlondieinNYC I wanted to anwer the first post and question you have here which is what a 1st date should look like?

    I think a 1st date should be casual, over lunch or coffee – I have gone with coffee if I’m not as sure from pictures and correspondence vs. lunch which of course can last a bit longer. I always work to ensure that the potential SB I meet knows it is for a fixed amount of time – say 1 1/2 hours so that she and I can go back to our lives – and meet again if we want, or not if we don’t.

    As SouthernGent has mentioned he always goes with 1/2 the allowance idea in the first month until things get serious – I agree with this approach, but everyone is different.

    I have to say I’ve met some terrific women here – and to Stephan’s point I get a continual stream of emails and interest. I’ve met what I think will be a long term SB so I may put my profile on Private – although I agree with the idea that you can’t put all your eggs in one basket. I’m not looking to have multiple SBs, but I also know that one can disappear very quickly.

    I have met a few SBs here as friends whom I ask for advice and I will occasionally send them pics or profile info for a potential SB – this has been very helpful.

    One suggestion for Stephan and team – what about the ability to pick SB and or SD buddies. Some of the best advice I’ve gotten is from SouthernGent, and it would be good to get advice from other guys.

    I have a question for BlondieinNYC, Goddess and others – I am a married SD and recently shared details of my SB relationship with a very close and old friend of mine. He’s known for a few months now, but in the past few days has basically shut me out and said to call him when I have, “worked things out.” We’ve been very close pals for over a decade and this is the first time he’s ever done anything like this. He’s obviously taking a moral stand – but frankly it pisses me off. He said he wants to surround himself with friends whom he admires and of course he doesn’t approve of the SD lifestyle. I have friends who smoke – actually in-laws, and one day I may have to chip in for health care or God knows what else because of the destructive health effects – and yet I’m not shutting them out.

    Has anyone run into this type of situation with friends who don’t approve of the SD or SB lifestyle? If so – how have you dealt with it?

    Thanks.

  28. sincere-sd says:

    Haven’t had the opportunity to post for several weeks as I’ve been busy looking for a new SB. I must say that it’s been an interesting process and happy to have found I found a great match. Anyways to keep the discussion on topic:

    BlondeinNYC, I like your positive outlook, can-do attitude and frankness. You’ll be a great friend and companion for someone looking for a long term SB relationship. Too bad I’m not in NYC because I’d be knocking at your door with roses in hand.

    Applesauce & BT, as an Asian SD I have also encountered “racism” from many potential SB. At first, I changed my profile to hide my ethnicity and had much a better response rate but inevitably it would come out in the picture exchange. In some cases, it seems to be personal preference and in other cases, it is racism. However, knowing how tough it is to find a good SD, I just shrug it off as their loss.

    To answer the question, “is SD dating a way of life” … for me it has been. I got tired of finding the elusive mistress and then falling into the trap of becoming a “strings attached” relationship. Once I got over the stigma of paying for companionship (notice I didn’t say sex), it became a more efficient way of finding an ongoing SB relationship. Maybe it’s laziness and maybe it’s acknowledgement that these relationships can be fragile but I tend to leave my profile up on the last site I was active on. And no, I do not change my profile as I only want to be with someone who wants to be with me for who I am.

  29. cre8tor says:

    applesauce, bostonterrier has good advice. Just don’t try to find a SD in her town. She has them all taken! LOL I’ve been away for a bit….missed you all but happy to hear that SB SanFranDiddle is moving in a good direction. BlondeinNYC….you are on fire. Hey guys, I have a confession. On this quick stint, way of life subject, it seems I might be moving into a quasi SB/love thing. Not sure how this happened but….hmmmm…..maybe i didn’t take my own advice? anyway, maybe I’ll follow up in detail on the proper page. See you all there !Muah!

  30. bostonTerrier says:

    applesauce, as a fellow black sugar baby i’d advise you to totally ignore the idiots who write to you. i think some people aren’t ready to be seen with a beautiful black woman … but i am also a bit biased :)

    my sd likes me because i am intelligent and my profile was well written in comparison to like 80% of the others he read or were profiles from women who simply wanted money in exchange for sex.

    it might take you bit of time to find an sd but i think you’ll be fine in the long run … there’s lots of guys out there and quite a few are interested in black women.

    to address this post i use this site on and off … depending on my luck. right now i’m down to one sd – the other just wasn’t serious enough for me with his traveling – who seems perfect. he even lends me cars to drive in boston which is shocking considering a. my driving skills and b. people in boston drive horrible.

  31. NitemareSD says:

    You actually expect many SD’s to write a racist comment like ‘No Blacks’ in their profiles? I see a few women specifying caucasion men, but it is rare.

    If you were white blond and fat, you’d have trouble too. Almost everyone has something that makes them less than ideal. You and I wouldn’t even be here if that weren’t the case.

    I don’t know if you are complaining about a rude email or the relative lack of interest in black women. If the latter, you don’t seriously expect this place to be different from any other, do you?

    If it is some rude racist thing, everybody gets nasty emails about things. I’ve even gotten nasty opening emails from black women. If that’s it, forget about it and move on.

    No matter what, it is going to take a lot of effort to find someone decent. For all of us.

  32. racheljay says:

    Hey Applesauce!

    I’m Rachel, nice to meet you.

    I understand your pain, I too am African American and swimming in a sea of traditional SD relationships (e.g. Blondes) it can be a little hard.

    Though I’ve never received rude messages, I encourage you to stand your ground and stick with what you know as a beautiful, and desireable SB!

    Beauty comes with every skincolor! You should never be ashamed or afraid to be who or what you are.

    To be honest, a lot of people find attractiveness only within their own ethnicity. That’s ok, there are others who like to venture outside it. That’s ok too. All you can do is be that confident woman you are and keep searching until you get what you want.

    If you get hate mail, dust it off your shoulders. If people are hating, you are either getting under their skin, or doing something right.

    A lot of people are afraid of change. They like what they like, oh well, their loss! If it gets to be too much, you can always alert the site of harassment. No one deserves to be treated poorly, especially on this site where everyones main reason is to look for THEIR arrangment, and not knocking others’.

    Stick to your guns sweety. You may not look like the traditional SB but it doesn’t mean you should be treated less than one. I am a SUCESSFUL African American SB, you can be one too!

    Rach

  33. Applesauce says:

    Hey its me the Fashion Baby i was wondering whats the deal with some of the males not waiting to date African Americans! I received a rude email! I’m not going to be hateful and call a name to it but I want to put it out in the open! For one don’t think just because I’m not your average beach blond. I wont be a good enough companion! I’m not brand new to this lifestyle but have some common sense! I’m stating if you prefer not to date Blacks be more specific in your descriptions! For others its just a thought!

  34. BlondeinNYC says:

    San Fran synchronicty at work! Nothing’s random and I’m so very thrilled for you. I’m doing a happy dance for you right now. Um, the dog thinks I’m crazy, what can you do?

    Eastern Promises has Viggo Mortensen and Naomi Watts in it; it’s a very clever, intricate tale with a VERY surprise ending.

    Dysert, thank you for the kind words, once again, and gee golly, wow!

    Lisa, I don’t hate you, but you are using what happened to you in the past to prevent you from moving on now and in the future. We’ve all had adversity, the question is, do you want to conquer it? Or do you want to use it as a buffer so that you never succeed? Dear, it’s all up to you.

  35. yael says:

    *Honesty… whoops… misspelling… I appreciate your Honesty Southerngent

  36. yael says:

    I wish this blog had a quote feature… hint hint… so many of you have had wonderful advice and suggestions… Southerngent we always love you for you hinesty… and all of the girls… we mostly all are familiar with each other… but I just wanted to add.. if my post didn’t mention it.. I’m SOOO not just looking for money… not at all… when I mean mutually beneficial I mean in any way.. many of the men think that it just means themselves… I should only accomodate to them because they are married or in a relationship but hold the phone!! I must be crazy dare I should have a boyfriend.. or go out of town LOL…. and it’s okay to want the world and more.. but you can’t I want something in the deal too> even if it’s just that you won’t expect me to always be perfect and available if you are (the SDs) are not. In fact I always have been a good sweet person and had a personality and have not even mentioned the money thing.. we neevr even get to that part LOL.. they can’t even get to an arangement to arrange LOL…

  37. SB SanFranDiddle says:

    Well Hello Cherubs! I had to step in for a moment to give an update as to my, situation…

    Blondie, Cre8tor, Rachel, Southern, Berk, OK … ALL, lol:

    I managed to sneak out the office for the day and had a chance to go visit a college counselor at the local community college. Well, as fate would have it, the counseling office was closed today, but something told me not to give up, and that there is ‘no such thing as coinsidences’, so, I just decided to take a personal sabbath of sorts and stumbled on to a college fair, and at the fair was the VERY college I have been accepted to and needed information about how to get in financially, and there in the distance was my college councelor, serving muffins and orange juice to the large mass of mostly high school students looking into prospective universities (I’ve been out of high school for 4 years now). So now, I know that change is a’commin, and I thank you all again for helping this SB through my most recent visit to the darkest place i’ve EVER been. I really was at the lowest and most desolate place -mentally- and that quote that “annonymous” put above struck me like a ton of bricks – WOW to that!

    My feelings on being a SB – it’s no quick stint for me, but then again, I think most would agree that “The Girls Next Door” don’t speak for most REAL sugar babies 😉

    This movie Gail and Blondie are speaking of, sounds very interesting… I might have to check it out.

    Had a SD vanish on me yesterday, but I’m not at all offended, or hurt, I actually think I’m in a period where I might, Might, be better off w/o a SD – who knows, then again, if one just appears, I’ll be the first thankin the Lawd!

    Kisses to all.

  38. Gail says:

    Blondie-Sounds like SD prospect for you:) Get on it!!! LOL…and I know I need to get on the movie Eastern Promises….touche’

    Dysert-Lisa, just needs a little time to herself right now. I am certain that she has thought about all of this over and over again. To the point that her head is blowing up. Women just need time alone….I know I would if it was me. And best believe, she will do what is right for her! (smile)

  39. Dysert says:

    BlondeinNYC, I have 4 things to say. First, wow! Second, I have a lot of respect for you for taking a tough position and telling Lisa what she needed to hear. That took courage because it very easily could have come back on you. Third, you just became twice as attractive to me. We all get beaten up by life, but we all don’t react to our setbacks the same way. Anyone who care stare adversity in the eye and still be funny, laid back and positive is a real gem. Forth, wow again!

    Lisa, BlondeinNYC doesn’t hate you. Believe it or not she is actually trying to help you. It would have been a lot easier for her to just ignore your post and move on to the others. But sometimes telling people what they want to hear isn’t the same as helping them. Sometimes pissing them off is the price you pay for saying what needs to be said. And if your goal is to get a SD on this site, then I think you ought to put the hurt feelings aside and at least consider what she said. Just my 2 cents. Obviously you’re free to do whatever you think is best.

  40. BlondeinNYC says:

    Hmm, if the conversation’s wonderful, the man is a great friend and the sex is mindblowing , why’d you want it to end???

  41. Gail says:

    Anonymous- What a powerful qoute. I can truy say that I practice this and understand. And I can sincerely say, I have been all of these.

    Here’s my input on the topic. Quick Stint for now:) Long Stint for the Blog:) Just can pull my self away from this silly little blog….LOL

  42. Anonymous says:

    “Resolve to be tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving, and tolerant with the weak and the wrong. Sometime in your life you will have been all of these.”

  43. lisa says:

    well everyone has become so hateful. You night notice I might complain alot but I don’t attack anyone on here. I am probably the most wholesome person on here. I was a virgin when I married, I went 15 years without sex after my divorce. I just started enjoying life a few years ago. Unlike most of you I was raised in a cultlike upbringing by a very religious mother. I spent my teenage years preparing to move to the wood to hide from the government. My mom controlled me even when I was married until I turned 39 and moved out on my own, with no resourses. I was confident and walked home from work late at night until I got a gun held to me, and that was too scary for me. I live in a neighborhood with gang activity (ever here of ms-13?) if not please google and research them. some of them operate in my neighborhood. so I don’t make my own decisions, my dangerous neighborhood does. and not I don’t have the funds to move.
    I’m sorry if I come across as a bitch but I’m actually considered very square.
    I can’t believe so much hate is on this site, and it’s obvious my opinion is not respected on here. I am deeply hurt by what has been said on here and I would never stoop to that low of a level to attack anyone on this site, I don’t agree with you but i’m not into game calling as I have self control. I prefer kindness over tough love. I might not be very popular on this blog but my friends consider me to be a really good friend and I dont’ believe in talking people down.

  44. Gail says:

    (smile) racheljay, if you started it, someone had to end it. And if someone didn’t start something what would we all do? Have nothing to say I suppose:) Have the best day ever, you all….back to the job hunt.

  45. racheljay says:

    Oy Vey-

    I’m always starting something aren’t I?

    Anyway, I hope things are going well for everyone!

    Gail- I’ve missed ya, you’ll get a position I believe in you!

    Blondie- you are my hero, tough love, but the point sure did get accross.

    Goddess- I totally relate! Keep them options open

    -Rach

  46. MishBocaRatonGrl says:

    Blondie-

    I agree w/ just about everything you said to Lisa. My moms that kinda person. Those kinda people could fall off a boat, you can throw a life preserver, but they won’t swim to it, just let themselves drown, hoping someone will do all the work for them and jump in after them, and swim to safety.

  47. Gail says:

    SuthrnExec:

    I welcome and appreciate all the help and tips you have to offer SuthrnExec… Profile 166538 in CA:) It get’s so frustrating after going through personality test, 4 levels of the interview process, drug testing, skill testing,etc…I say to myself what am I doing wrong. Thank you:)

  48. SuthrnExec says:

    Yes Gail – look on the bright side — your odds of getting a job offer get much better each time a company takes a pass on you. You will find that right company soon – I am convinced.

    BTW, Gail, I’d love to drop you an email – can you give me a hint as to how to do that (profile #, etc.? I have a couple of ideas that might help in your interviewing.

  49. BlondeinNYC says:

    Rosie -petty, petty, petty.

    Gail, hang in there. You’re super qualified. Keep networking, hit the job sites, send out emails, you can do it.

    Bluewater Sailor- thanks.

  50. Bluewater Sailor says:

    Kudos to you Blondie. Nuff said on the subject.

  51. Gail says:

    Morning,
    No, unfortunately, haven’t seen the movie yet…been kinda struggling myself.

    I have been looking for a better paying job, and it’s been so hard. Within the last two weeks, I was in the final interview for 3 positions with 3 major companies. I was top two in all three jobs. I didn’t get any of them. …am so sad. But I have to keep going. Just thought I would check in and take a little break off of all the job websites I am on….Ahhhh…it feels so good to relax….any CEO out there needed an excellent, reliable, hardworking manager? Help me help myself!!!! LOL……

  52. Rosie says:

    BlondieinNYC,
    I would hate to bump into you in New York on a crowded sidewalk. You would probably push me out in the street to get hit. No need to continue stepping on Lisa. Believe me she got your message, and so have all of us that read your message. So, so, so, sad!!!

  53. BlondeinNYC says:

    Hey Gail! Didja see the movie yet?? Lol!

    Trust me I have been compassionate towards her, like for 3 months. Yet every time she posts, it’s the same old song and dance.

    ‘Nuff said.

  54. Gail says:

    Hello Blondie:)

    Bitch? No, I don’t think so…Direct, opinionated,strong-willed, survivor, says whats on her mind:) Yes…thats you.

    I’d like to see you mix a little of compassion in there. I believe individuals will just have to learn on their own how to help themselves.

  55. BerkshireSD says:

    The Lisas really need that straight talk.

    There are thousands of people reading; the individual is not so interesting as the type.

  56. Goddess says:

    Quick stint or way of life? For me, I think it’s somewhere in the middle.

    I’ve been participating in this lifestyle for close to ten years now, so I could hardly call it a quick stint. I truly enjoy lavishing a man with attention and affection, especially when he has the means and inclination to make my life a little easier. This isn’t something I do because I have to, it’s something I choose to do because I love it. The freedom from financial worries and from a typical 9 to 5 schedule has allowed me to pursue other interests, further my education, work a part-time job only, and spend more time with my family.

    This won’t be a forever thing for me, though. I’ll eventually grow tired of having to come up with alibis for inquisitive people about why I went away for the weekend or how I support myself. There’s a certain amount of loneliness in the SB lifestyle, because there are so few of our friends and family we can be completely honest with about our lifestyle. It’s nearly impossible to have an open and honest romantic relationship while also having a SD. When I’ve achieved my educational and career goals, I’m sure that the benefits will no longer outweigh the drawbacks and I’ll choose to move on.

    I’m not there yet, though. :)

    Unless I’m in an arrangement with someone who is taking care of all of my financial needs and who I expect to continue the arrangement for quite some time, I’ll remain on the site. I’ve let my account expire when I’d found a SD then renewed a few months later if that arrangement didn’t become long-term. I’ve also set my profile to private temporarily several times. I don’t think it’s appropriate to be on the site and with an active profile unless I’m available and ready to meet within a reasonable amount of time.

  57. BlondeinNYC says:

    And sometimes saying nothing at all is not only tacit approval of their behavior, it’s also enabling them.

    Many times other people have reached out to here with positive suggestions, including me. I’m done.

    Call me a bitch, but I’m done.

    It’s one thing if someone is having problems and they want to do something about it, it’s another when all they seem to do is enjoy bitching and moaning and won’t do anything at all to help themselves.

    I’ve never been fond of anyone playing the martyr.

  58. Caligirl says:

    BlondeinNYC:
    I respect you and how hard you have worked to make it each day. Life is different for everyone…their backgrounds,relationships, experiences, attitude, and the way they approach their everyday living. My feeling is your words were harsh toward Lisa. I know what you have written has hurt her deeply.
    I take the approach and say to myself, will this person affect my life in any way. If not, sometimes its best not to say nothing.

  59. SuthrnExec says:

    Thank ya ma’am – will do (spoken in deep, southern drawl…)

  60. BlondeinNYC says:

    Ahem, on a much lighter note, I’d like to say thank you so much to Dysert for not only the compliments but for taking the time to join in on this lively discussion and your illuminating and helpful comments.

    SouthernExec as always you are such a delightful person, thank you once again for your incisive comments and pearls of wisdom.

    So you two sexy beasts, please, please, please keep writing on the blog.

    Much love,

    Blondie

  61. BlondeinNYC says:

    Lisa almost every single post is the same thing over and over and over again. The married guy, the short term SD, the other one.

    GET OVER YOURSELF.

    You bitch and moan about your economic situation and life in general. Honey, you have the keys to make a better life for yourself. Use them. You say you own a computer, which must mean that you know Microsoft Office. Which would mean if you went to an employment agency you could get a better job than what you have now. which would mean that if you saved your money, you could move from where you live to a better neighborhood.

    Any time anyone makes suggestions or recommendations for you to do certain things, you bitch and moan instead of doing them. No one is going to rescue you, but you.

    From what you’ve written about men and relationships on the blogs, you’d be better off becoming an escort than anything else. You sound so bitter, so ugly and so pessimistic, I can’t understand why anyone would want to be involved with you.

    I for one don’t want to hear the excuses about the bus or whether or not you could have legally fought the unfair firing from your other job. Why? Because I don’t think you even bothered to do any research into the job problem. As for the bus, honey where there’s a will there’s a way.

    I left home at 17, I went to college far far away from my home. I didn’t receive either emotional or financial support from home. I desperately wanted a job in my field, there was an opening in that field at a place that was a good 6 -7 miles away from campus. I got the job and had to walk in sub zero weather (my school was 9 miles from Lake Ontario) to go to that job at 4 am. I did it, I didn’t complain, I was thankful that I had gotten the job and if I had to walk home after midnight, I did that too.

    There have been times in my life where I’ve had no car, and no money, but I had my brains and I had (and have my feet). I sucked it up and I did whatever I had to do to get my ass to work. I did everything within my power, volunteering for extra duties, staying late, coming in early, doing extra what ever it was to show my employers that I was not only a good employee, but that I was worthy of a promotion.

    I’m not even going to tell you all the stuff that I’ve gone through because i had ambition, a mind but zero resources. Somehow, someway I found the strength to go on, find ways of doing what I had to do and get moving.

    If you stopped feeling sorry for yourself, if you stopped playing the victim, because Lisa, you seem to really enjoy playing one, you seem to love that role, your life will increase so much. But, I think you really enjoy the place where you’re at. I think you really like being bitter and prefer to fail than to try. I think you don’t like men and I don’t think you like yourself.

    Lisa, stating that you wouldn’t date an ugly man is bs. If he had money, you’d do everything to keep him.

    Get some respect for yourself. At first I felt sorry for you when I joined this blog, now I’m disgusted by your attitude.

    Your excuses about the job thing is BS. Honey, I lived in Texas, I know the jobs laws there, you didn’t talk to anyone and you didn’t make any inroads on anything.

    I for one am tired of the same old stuff that you write over and over again.

    And while there aren’t many participants in this blog, there are quite a few readers. And trust me, the men who read this blog do reach out to the participants in this blog.

    And you’ve effectively painted yourself into a corner where there are damn few people who want to get in touch with you.

    Grow up and take responsibility for yourself.

  62. lisa says:

    racheljay

    my comment about making your bf your sd was meant to be sarcastic towards men who might complain about the girlfriend doing something or seening someone because the bf himself can’t provide. if the bf is jealous of the sd, he should be more generous himself. I find it amusing that the poorest men worry the most about being used for what they have. I have dated many guys who drove nice cars and said nothing about them in their profiles yet the ones that said “if you are looking for a guy who drives a lexus, etc or date a man for his car, pass me up” this is humorous because these are the men who usually drive up a beat up car. they are in no danger of a woman wanting them for their car. lol

    I would not date an ugly man for money. What I am saying is that the most plain man (not necessarily ugly) is more attractive when you put a nice suit on him and put him in a high position with money and all.

  63. Dysert says:

    SuthrnExec, you said it all when you said a woman’s attitude and personality are what really set her apart whether it be on this site or anywhere else. The vast majority of the women here are physically attractive. But a pretty woman can start looking ugly really fast if she seems too negative, selfish or inconsiderate. On the other hand, a fun, cool, laid back woman who can laugh and joke and smile with you just gets prettier the longer you’re with her.

    I know there are a lot of fake and crazy guys on this site and I respect the fact that a lady needs to keep her guard up until she knows the guy is for real, but if you want to set the hook on a man then find out how to make him like you. Not your body parts, but you. I can’t speak for anyone else, but I know I would be a heck of a lot more generous to someone I genuinely liked than to someone who was just focused on being paid for her time.

  64. Dysert says:

    girlygirl, my suggestion would be to have your SD give you cash if possible. No wires. No money orders. No checks. That limits the paper trail. In theory you could still be audited if they saw declared income of $5,000 per year on your tax return and asked you how you could afford your mercedes and $2,500 per month mortgage on your townhouse, but that’s unlikely. The IRS usually needs to see where they are going to collect more than they will spend before they can justify the effort. So in summary, if you keep it call on a cash basis then you should be much safer and have a pretty limited exposure to an audit.

  65. JaneyW says:

    The money your sd gives you is a gift (i.e. you don’t have to pay taxes on it). However, if you deposit anything over $10,000 into a bank account all at once, the bank is required to flag your deposit to the IRS. Make sure you have a plan of action in case you get audited and definitely have this discussion with your sd.

    It’s not like the movies where men in suits come to your door and take you away. The IRS sends you a “bill” for $3,000 which you have to pay to them for unclaimed income. So make sure you have someone who is willing to back you up if this happens to you and verifies your deposits are gifts and not a source of embezzlement on your part.

  66. racheljay says:

    Good question.

    I think it depends on how much.

    And if its monthly, it very well could be.

    It could be counted as a “charitable expense”. I’m sure.

    Though me, I am a student so I don’t necessarily put my allowances down. My parents give me money all the time I count them as gifts.

  67. girlygirl says:

    hey all. somewhat unrelated question but i’m not sure where to post this.what i want to know is this:

    does the allowance you receive from an sd count as taxable?? it’s not, because it’s a gift, correct?

    thx!! 😉

  68. racheljay says:

    Now, to actually answer the blog’s question (sorry Stephan hehe)

    I’ve just joined this site. However, the main reason I joined was for this here blog! Yay!

    I came accross the blog online and loved the advice, so I joined.

    Of course I created a profile as to not put my eggs in one basket. I have one SD(previous), and I’m just starting a new chapter with another. (Dif site)

    So, I keep my profile public to get myself out there just in case something goes wrong with my other SDs.

    That and I love meeting new people.

    I do understand that some SDs and SBs leave when they find a potential, and come back when they lose them.

    No, I don’t think I will keep myself “available” for years because I’m young and I know once I rank higher on the social ladder with my future careers, having my same SD SB relationships will be the thing of the past.

    I’m mainly in this for the joyride. Meeting new friends, enjoying the finer things in life, traveling, and meeting lifetime mentors.

    These men/wmen are sucessful. I don’t just want to just suck the silver teat, I want to one day BE sucessful myself and pass on the love 😉

  69. racheljay says:

    Well,

    Like someone mentioned Lisa-

    Why put all of your eggs in one basket?

    Yes, its no fun watching someone eat caviar while you get canned tuna.

    Thanks to this site, and many others, we beer money gals can have chapangne tastes with the right SDs.

    However, you CANNOT fully depend on someone to take care of you without having a necessary “title”

    These men and women either got where they are with hard work, or chance.
    I’m guessing the majority is hard work.

    Its unfortunate that you are struggling (look at the echonomy) but the cinderella dream rarely happens and you should be able to pull your own weight.

    Yes, prince charming may come, but what are you going to do when he disappears?

    I love what you bring to this site’s table at times, its real. You know what you want, but there’s also a “gold digger” like vibe I’m getting.

    No offense to you, because I’m sure the site defiately draws them but a lot of SDs run from women like that.

    Your comment about the money and power are what lies with a ton of women. We are attracted to success, men mainly to physical beauty. What shocked me was “the ugliest man on earth can have me, but only if he’s rich and spoils me” comment you made. Ouch!

    What can you offer that man? Your bills? Where’s your compassion? You’re going to have to give up something.

    To say to Vegas- make your bf your SD, or find one is beyond me. Some SBs have bfs who couldn’t afford to be their SDs in a million years. In fact, if they did have that lifestyle, I’m sure they wouldn’t be here.
    Maybe they are w their SO for love, and their SD for security.

    In no way am I bashing you, I’m just trying to understand where you are comming from.

    We all have different arrangements. Therefor, whatever yours is, it could possibly be nowhere near mine.

    I am seeing someone, however we aren’t official. I don’t want to hurt the guy I’m with which is why I’m struggling with the decision of either keeping my SD (because he’s a sweetie, has his own arrangement, and the trips, and allowance are things I don’t wanna give up at age 23!) Or, keeping him until my SO become official. Either way, its not an easy decision to make. If I could keep them both I would except it would truely crush my SO.

  70. lisa says:

    well I juggled a boyfriend, lover, and sugar daddy at the same time (for only a month though). I had my reasons as i’m not one to see more than one guy at the same time. Actually these three guys I was seeing were my only lovers in 15 years, it just happened this way, not planned.
    It was easy to keep each situation discreet because the first guy who was my married lover of about 3 years, was a morning guy, where as the boyfriend I seen in the late evening (I didn’t give up the married guy when I met this one because this guy was always vague about our relationship and didn’t seem to want any commitment and he did break up suddenly so not worth giving up the long term one for him), the 3rd which was my first sd was more of a hang out and watch a movie and relax type that liked to come by and hang out and spend the night. so timing was good on all.
    If you have a serious boyfriend it might be hard to keep a sd hid but afterall if you aren’t married, you are free to do as you please and what’s best for you. the solution is for you bf to be your sd, if he doesn’t want to, then get a sd.

    I might come across as money hungry but I never mention anything to any guy I connect with on this site, BUT almost every guy who contacts me is quick to talk about what they want, so why can’t I? If I just want a lover, I can get back with my married one or find someone on a regular site. Money and power are powerful aphrodisiacs to me and even the most plain man can be super sexy if he holds a high position and spoils me.
    What fun is there in dating a rich guy and watching him live his nice life while you struggle to buy groceries??

  71. racheljay says:

    I’m in the same boat vegas, except he and I aren’t “official”

    He would (as Exec says) go nuts!

    I just look at it from a married sd’s perspective. A married sd wouldn’t tell his wife, wht should your bf know?

  72. racheljay says:

    I’m in the same boat vegas, except he and I aren’t “official”

  73. Gail says:

    SuthrnExec: A sexy mind is full of positive thinking, happy emotions, constructive dialogue and creative ideas that bring out the best in the people you touch. So touch me sexy!!!! LOL…..

  74. SuthrnExec says:

    Speaking from the BF perspective (unless the BF is a rare breed indeed), I would go nuts if I found out. While there is a certain irony in saying this, I would advise you to be honest – that’s what everyone wants in a healthy relationship, isn’t it?

  75. vegasbabie89 says:

    I need some advice. When I first joined this site, I was single and didn’t really know that many people in my new city. Now, I have made friends and have started dating someone. Now I feel like I cant really continue being a sugar baby because I would always have to come up with stories about where I’m traveling to, and why. It was much easier before I had anyone to answer to! Is anyone else in the same situation?? I had alot of fun before with the site, and I’m not sure what to do now. I’m supposed to go to NewYork next month with my sd, but what will I tell the bf??

  76. stephan says:

    SuthrnExec: you have mail :)

  77. SuthrnExec says:

    Gail, et al., let me pose this question –

    What does a sexy mind “look like”? How do you know when you see (hear, read) it?

    And please, before you hit me over the head with a wet noodle, I’m not being gratuitous by asking this – I’m genuinely curious.

  78. SuthrnExec says:

    Oh sure – you SBs say all that and then when we meet, it all goes to hell in a handbasket!

  79. Gail says:

    SuthernExec,

    You may say that you don’t have sexy pics, but I am sure all of the SBs on the blog agree, YOU HAVE A INCREDIBLY SEXY MIND!!! And to me that’s more attractive than a man who has rocks in their brain. And to add more…your ability to communicate and relate to us…has some of us MELTING…..This is your day SEXY!!! LOL

  80. stephan says:

    SouthernExec, something tells me you haven’t done a “Browse Similar Profiles” search lately… lol :o) 😉 – and kudos for posting your pics! (not that Not posting your pics is bad, but ya gotta give cred. to the SD’s who do)

  81. SuthrnExec says:

    Thanks stephan – I learned something today – I would never have guessed that men, on average, receive more email than women. See, I told you my pics are not sexy!!

  82. BerkshireSD says:

    Some people think there is a definition of SB/SD Relationship or Mutually Beneficial Relationship.

    There is not. People want different things within some reasonably large range. You have to make an effort to find out about each person and get involved.

    The trouble is many resent that they have to make an effort. They resent having to go through the process. That gets one nowhere.

  83. SuthrnExec says:

    Everyone is making great points and observations. Unfortunately, the owners of this web site are concerned about net operating profit so don’t expect to see anything that will cause membership numbers to drop. Being a man, I know I don’t get the volume of mail that the ladies do (my pics are not sexy at all!) but you must remember that a huge part of the thrill to the typical male of the species is the “hunt” so we don’t mind going through hundreds of profiles and adding the “potentials” to the favorites list and firing off those one-line emails to see who writes back. It’s all a part of the hunting and gathering that men do. There are probably an equal number of things that women do that frustrate men to no-end, but most men are not as verbose as I am so they never tell you. The entire male-female/SB-SD dynamic is intriguing to me – separate from my own search to find that SB that is agreeable to the limitations of my availability, financial capability and chemistry. I’m pretty patient, so I don’t angst over the amount of time and effort.
    I have spoken to a number of ladies that are in very similar situations – some pretty dire – and in reflection, the one thing that continues to come to mind when I think of attractive ladies that I have met are those who have great attitudes. This makes their already physical attractiveness even more so. I do not mean the attitude that allows a woman to be a doormat – that is not attractive, it’s destructive. I’m talking about the confident, intelligent, glass-is-half-full attitude. THAT’S that attitude I love and am attracted to.
    The written word is not only powerful, but it’s also a wonderful window – if not magnifying glass – into the reality of what makes a person. Certainly it’s not the only thing that provides a glimpse into a person, but it’s the one I prefer when initially getting to know someone – and it is powerfully used on this blog.

  84. Sally says:

    Dysert – I agree 100%

  85. Sally says:

    Chloe:

    If you want to be sure your dealing with a real sugar daddy, only look at the Diamond Club Members — they all let the site do background checks on them

  86. Dysert says:

    I agree with SuthrnExec when he says there are no rules. It’s up to each of us to find someone who suits our wants/needs. And I think this place is big enough to accomodate several different SD/SB possiblities. Call me crazy, but I see no need to regiment member behavior so tightly.

    BlondeinNYC I agree with you too when you say that a woman shouldn’t treat a man like an ATM unless she is ready to be treated like a sex toy. Like everything else in life, what you get out is usually comparable to what you put in. If you want courtesy and respect and someone to be thoughtful of your feelings then it’s only fair to offer those things back in return. I have no doubt a great guy is out there for you and if I lived closer it would be me. ; )

    Chloe, I feel your pain. A guy shouldn’t be on this site unless he is ready to take care of a woman financially. Within that context, I see absolutely nothing wrong with a mutual friendship or a BF/GF experience if it works for both parties. But if a guy wants a conventional BF/GF type of relationship, then maybe match.com or e-harmony would be a better place.

    MishBocaRatonGrl, if it makes you feel any better, there are some women on this site who aren’t exactly dealing in good faith either. Last week I had a woman e-mail me several photos of jeeps and ask me to buy one of them for her all before she had even asked to see my photo. It didn’t take me long to see where that was going. Tacky and selfish at best, scammer at worst.

  87. Chloe says:

    I’m wondering if there cant be a more diligent screening process to weed out the ‘undesirables’…like the fakes and flakes as everyone calls them?

    Maybe the site wouldn’t make as much money but maybe they could charge more to all their members and have some kind of financial background check on the men…at least! (I know there is the diamond club…but heck! there are only six men there!) I for one would be willing to pay a little more if I knew my prospects were serious.

    I’m not sure at this moment what kind of check could be done one the women…but there should be one just to be fair. Maybe if they were reported on for acting like escorts they could be given several warnings and then be booted off the site ifthey don’t comply.

    All of this is just some thoughts running through my mind that obviously needs to be finely tuned. There are probaly legal avenues that would have to be checked out as well. I like to brainstorm, can you tell? Maybe I should start my own site…lol.

  88. BlondeinNYC says:

    Yael honey, as Clinton would say, “I feel your pain.” I really think there should be SB chapters in every city where we could meet up, drink coffee and trade stories.

    Lisa and MishBocaRatonGrl – yes there are specific sites for dating like the ones you guys mentioned. And if a man only wants to date, then perhaps he shouldn’t be here. However, what the hell is wrong with dating a man from this site? In every relationship you will have the foundation should be friendship and mutual respect. And if I am going to get to know a man here, you better damn well get it through your head that I want a date.

    What is a date? It is an event where interaction occurs on many levels. You have the chance to know if there’s chemistry between the two of you, common ground so you have things to talk about and it’s damn fun. It’s also mental foreplay. And there’s nothing wrong with foreplay. AT ALL.

    If you start looking at men like they’re ATM machines, they’re going to start looking at you like your an escort.

    Chickies, and I’m not just calling out you two, but to every woman on this site who is stupid and rapacious enough to send an initial email that more or less states, “gimme, gimme, gimme” get over yourself. Men are as human as you are. Men have feelings and a right to own and express them as much as you. Yes, they have needs and desires. Well don’t you too?

    We all have problems and are in serious situations here; and blanking a man in his wallet is not the way to get over it.

    I’ve gotten some emails from someone lately and I’m smitten with his mind. HIS MIND people.

    Treat someone with respect and friendship and the world will open to you. Yeah, we’ve all had bad shit happen to us.

    I’m so freaking close to getting evicted right now it’s not funny. I have no family; everyone is dead. It’s me and the dog. So what do I do? Am I trolling for an ATM machine on two legs? No, I’m spending hours sending out resumes and cover letters. I’m going to every professional event I can to network my tiny and lovely ass off, I’ve signed up with every temp agency in town and I WILL NOT give up.

    What do I want here? I’d love to meet a man. A MAN. Not a boy. Someone who shares the same interests I do, to have fun, to have great conversations and probably debate the hell out of certain topics, to go out and have a lovely time, to have wild slamming into walls sex (oh sex, I miss that) and to laugh my ass off. The allowance is icing on the cake. And I will admit publicly, that I’ve been on my own since I was 17 and went away to college. I’ve struggled my ass off, and an allowance would bring me one thing; peace of mind.

    But is getting an allowance the alpha to omega of my existence? Hell to the no.

  89. Chloe says:

    I joined the site in the last week and I already set my profile to private and not because I found a SD. I received only one sentence emails and men complaining that women on here are only asking for money, money, money! I echo others sentiments when I say why the heck are they on a site like this then?!

    I agree there is a time and place to ask for monetary assistance and that it should be done with tact, but it has to be done. Or what is the purpose of this site? I could go on and on for the reasons but SB’s before me have made all of these points.

    After spending the time reading this blog (btw, its the best part of the site..well done!) I got a ‘fed up’ and ‘creeped out’ feeling and didn’t feel like having my profile out there for everyone to see!

    I wasn’t expecting to find a SD in less than week but I also didn’t expect to find so many guys out there that seem to have no intentions of starting mutualy beneficial relationship.

    I have been in SD/SB relationships before. One was several years long and I met the man in person. The other two were weekend deals that I met through another site. One turned out not helping me at all after I flew a long distance to see him. (he payed the flight). He actually took back the designer dress and shoes he bought me because I didn’t meet ‘his expectations’. I felt so used and disgusted.

    The second man was married and treated me much better and it was a great weekend in Monaco. I would have continued a relationship with him but I think we lived too far apart.

    My long term SB/SD relationship was great for about a year and a half. He was also married. Things started to go down hill when he said he loved me and wanted to leave his wife and be with me. I knew that would never happen and I felt it was unfair for him to be so controlling over my life when he had a wife at home. He didnt want me to be with anyone else or have a social life so I ended it.

    I don’t know where I am going with all of this except that I know what it’s like to have a SB\SD relationship (at least in my definition…rent,clothing, car, spending money, education, payed for) and I am not convinced that this is the place to find one.

    I hope I am wrong and would really like to here some positive stories! I would also like to know what people’s opinions are of why a person would put you their favorites list and not ever contact you?
    Take care all!
    Chloe

  90. MishBocaRatonGrl says:

    This is my 2nd or 3rd time posting here, & I must say. I love reading everyone’s responses. I’m new to the whole SB/SD thing, I’ve never physically met anyone. I’ve came across my share of “phony” men since just joining a few weeks ago. Me personally, I cannot see myself jumping on a plane and flying to California ( I live in Florida) to meet someone I’ve only spoken to for 3 days.

    I turn my profile off, all most every other day. I like to focus on getting to know one person at a time. I’m not in dire need of someone to pay my bills, I do that myself. I am actually looking for a connection, w/ an arrangement. Chemistry must be there, and like wise to attraction being there aswell .

    I hate personally, when… the men are down my throat about, sex SEX sex. But as soon as I’d like to discuss finances, it’s “We’ll talk in person”… UGhhHHHHH This is so annoying.

    I like to know what I’m getting into before I step into it. And they are basically asking me to blindly enter a room, and hope for the best?

    lol… And to all your posts about the “dating” people on here. Yes, I believe they should join E-Harmony, or Match, something… very different than this site.

  91. lisa says:

    Very well said yael

    It’s a mystery to me why so many men on this site dont’ understand the sd/sb situation. Go to another site if you want to date or just have a sleazy affair. there are many sites out there that cater to men and women who just want to get together for casual sex and nothing more.

    I keep my profile up because I have not given up on finding a sd and I have met 4 potentials that were way better than the hundred or so I met on regular dating sites. However there are more women on this site than men so there is more competition for us where as men have a choice and if they are all they claim to be, well there are plenty of women to choose from on this site. And I agree if you are not ready to meet or are currently busy, then hide your profile or take you ad off until you have time. And please, be honest about where you currently live. I don’t know how many guys I have contacted or been contacted by that list my city as where they are and then after talking to them I find out they live in another country and just travel to my city occasionally or that they are planning to move to my city in 6 months.

  92. SuthrnExec says:

    As there are no “rules” to SD/SB dating, it is certainly up to the individual to do whatever suits his/her needs.

  93. yael says:

    I keep my profile up because of all the ‘dead-end’ experiences I have been having…. I gotta keep my options open or not put all my eggs in one perpetual basket… at first it seemed noone would bite then for a few weeks it seemed that I was hot stuff… couldn’t check my box without 6 or seven messages in it.. but they all kinda faded away when things started becoming a possibility.. or flaked out on the meeting… or wanted to be way too serious way too fast…. or way too physical way too fast…, or a few I went out with a few times and then they never wanted to work out that arrangement….

    I don’t want to be rude but if they want just to date.. then E-harmony is there for them… why choose this site?.. I still have bills and such…. and want to start my business, or whatever… don’t advertise yourself as a sponsor for that and then bot produce…. that’s not ALL I’m after (I’m receptive to developing something maybe even a relationship) but all the same.. most of them weren’t even on the market for dating so to speak anywyas… married or in a bad relationship they couldnt find the heart to break off.. well in the meantime.. what of me?… should they expect me to just be this fling and friend with only the benefit of being the fling or friend or whatever?…. where is that mutually beneficial?…

    I can take myself out to dinner or I can just date to date…I have no problem dating… If I sound way more frustrated than ususal, that’s why.. and I haven’t even been on the site in a while becasue of my frustration… I just can’t figure it out… or it seems many of the SDs can’t figure it out… It’s not rocket science… you sign up for a SUGARDADDY site.. but have reservatoions about being a sugardady…. I knew why I signed up when I signed… I can imagine NO body wants to be used but what about me? aren’t I being used if you feel I should just sit back and expect nothing in a supposedly pre-determined arrangement?… they knew what they were looking for… they are quick to set ground rules and boundaries but then are mad when I have my own expectations, rules or boundaries…

    One SD actually got mad at me becasue I went outta town and didn’t tell him… well we only went out three times and the third date he tactfully implied at dinner that I was fat… (well not exactly.. he mentioned that he wouldn’t normally go for a ‘larger’ woman but my personality was what attarcted him and not my body) Now I could see that as a compliment except for the fact that I am actually as we speak turning down modelling jobs and photo shoots for my very curvaceous frame… none of the ten agents rallying for a contract with me think I am fat so I certainly didn’t appreciate this random guy telling me that he was compromising attraction for personality….. when I tactfully informed him of just how many agencies wanted me to be featured and in which magazines, he had little to say then but has since managed to call me everyday…. and is upset because I have been busy out of town and can’t see him.. yet and still no plans for any arrangement have come out of his mouth….

    The last one was I thoguht for sure a keeper… cute, young, successful, attentive and charming above all…. we had great conversations, and everything and when we met up it was fun… we spent hours talking laughing and joking…. we even kissed and it was a good chemistry.. I never kiss on a first date…. but then he faded away… I asked him if he had changed his mind… he asssured me he had not.. he just was trying to do the decent thing because he was in a relationship and was in the process of breaking up and didn’t want to be in the wrong… again… why are you on the site?!!! and who does that?…. there’s a process for breaking up with someone you are not married to?!! when did this concept come about and where the hell was I?… I didn’t get that memo… I always thoguht it was either you break up or you don’t..LOL… I mentioned this and since then it’s nbeen like hardly no conversation between us… he considers me a ‘friend’… kill that nonsense…… find friends on Facebook… or myspace… thank you very much…..

    Oh I forgot to mention the shady SD who would only talk to me on IM… well after about 6 converstaions I gave him my number and said call me.. you can block your number if you feel… I just don’t feel like typing everything and since we would talk for a long time.. I also didn’t want to be locked at my computer screen for hours…. he always had some excuse for not calling.. the lamest being his cell phone wasn’t working.. ok.. but you’re typing to me from your blackberry as we speak…… yeah right!!

    When I called him on this blatant fabrication, I merely said. if you are uncomfortable on the phone it’s ok… you can call when you feeel comfortable.. I will never call you if you nedd discretion… don’t worry… you also live like 10 states away from me so I’m not gonna show up at your door… just call me when you are ready… never heard from him again….

  94. BlondeinNYC says:

    What I want to know is this; what is or should be the “first date” or meeting or whatever you want to call it between the SB and the SD???

    And oh my, this is the second time that I’ve posted first.

    Gail have you watched Eastern Promises yet???

Top