9 years ago
Sugar Match-Up!

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Success Never Tasted So Sweet…

“Finally, it’s happened to me, right in front of my face…” – who knows the rest? Sugar Daters rejoice when a successfull pairing is found. As most of us here know, the path to creating a mutually beneficial relationship is not always a straight one. You may be concerned about safety, privacy, morality, or any number of ‘unknowns’. ChicBaby Writes: Girlies!! I think I found HIM! You know, the Sugar Daddy who seems to be exactly what you’re looking for? I’m not going to give it all away, esp as we haven’t met yet, so who knows, but he seems perfect and he’s flying out to meet me soon! So polite, so considerate. I’m so excited.” Comments ON

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89 Responses to “Sugar Match-Up!”

  1. Free Married Women Personals says:

    Why you RSS is still for free?:))

  2. Hostess On Sell This House says:

    How do I subscribe to your comments? By email or rss? It is one of the things I usually look for when deciding to comment to postings or not. Keep it up, you are doing well.

  3. Professional Matchmaking says:

    Guys! Don’t let the site! It’s a pleasure to read it!

  4. Professional Matchmaking says:

    Signed up to your RSS.

  5. Briefe Schreiben says:

    Hi there! Your Post “Sugar Daddy Match!” is very interesting for me. Unfortunately my written English is not so good so I write in German: Dir, meinem liebsten, geh

  6. Angibaby says:

    I met up with my potential SD last weekend and I have to say he looked better in person than from the pic he sent me. He was right when he said I’ll be “looking up to him” since he’s 6’3′ Haha, so luckily I wore my knee high boots and I towered at 6 ft. I love ’em tall since I’m 5’8. We met at a nice restaurant which he made reservations for a few days ahead of time. I arrived 10 mins late because I took my time walking from the train station. I was hoping to be seated by the time I arrived, but it was so packed Sat night I ended up waiting 5 mins before the hostess seated us.

    All was forgiven since he was such a sweet guy. We actually had an intelligent conversation going on that I totally forgot what I was really there for! Haha, I also got sidetracked since the raspberry mojitos were so good! Being smart and affectionate always gets brownie points! He paid for food/drinks ofc, we shared dessert, he whipped out a cute lil note which he wrote ahead of time, put on his lil reading glasses (too cute) lol read it to me, included a generous gift card to Sephora. I guess he did take the time to read my profile that I’m a makeup artist, so he knew I would put it to good use 😉

    Unfortunately we both had work the next morning…so we had to call it a night. We shared a cab and we made out briefly before it was his pit stop. He’s a great kisser, so I hope to hear from him again. We didn’t get a chance to discuss the financial assistance part. My mind always gets sidetracked. I was having too much fun chit chatting away during dinner that I didn’t get down to “business” lol, it seems like we clicked that night and I did tell him to keep me posted on when he wants to meet again. Any of you ladies know on how long should one wait to hear from them? Or is it one of those random days that they’ll notify you when they’re ‘free’? Anyway we shall see…If not, there’s plenty of other SD’s out there 😉

  7. yeva says:

    Katelyn, you are something! :) You should start writing a book!

  8. Bella says:

    You ladies are awesome – met my first SD today – it went very well, very sweet man and cuter in person that on pics. But, I did candidly talk about safety with him, as well as, concern about diseases. We do live in that type of society, ackward but glad I did. It opened our conversation up to very real stuff.

    I also am soooo glad to hear the money discussion. I didn’t know at what point I should expect to see $$ from my SD? He paid for a really nice lunch today, and we talked about meeting a few times this month on a non-sexual basis to discover if we enjoy eachother enough to be intimate.

  9. lisa says:

    I always take a post it note and write down the guys name, address if I know it, user name and dating site , phone number, time and date and place I will meet him. that way if something happened to me, my family would have some idea where to start. I usually keep in touch with a friend by text and i let the man know it.

  10. AlaskanQT says:

    Ketelyn… I don’t have th ICE box but I’m not too far behind… I even go so far as to text a friend if we change places… and if we are going to a place where a stranger wouldn’t be out of place (busy resturaunt or bar) I have a friend go there too and I just give them cash to pay their meal :)

  11. Katelyn says:

    Blondiegirl, sounds like you are doing just fine for yourself! And I’m 22, to kill your curiosity. The $20,000 for a weekend does seem a bit much, but he also wants to learn to surf so Im sure Ill have to show him a thing or two. I’m going to have him take me out for drinks in the next few days to see if I like him before I give up the surf wisdom :) Luckily I have by chance seen his house before (his staff yelled at me for drinking on the beach) so I dont think he is a liar.

    I agree, I cant act and dress perfect for long. One of those goes pretty quickly. Normally if I feel like this guy wants me to be Jackie Kennedy all day and night Ill do something really stupid like snort when I laugh and hey, if he cant take a joke screw him!

    Here is another bit of information I want to share with you girls. If you meet a guy and something doesn’t seem right, research him. Every time I meet someone at their house I look up their address on a real estate website and make sure the house is owned by them. If you have been seeing somebody who says they are honest with you, but you look up their home and its owned by Bill Noname and your guy swears his name is Jack Handsome, there is a glitch somewhere in the relationship. But heck, if it seems to be working, go with it. I normally do that before a first date for safety. I also leave the address of where Im going on my fridge just in case something happens and an ICE (in case of emergency) box next to it. My best friend knows where the key to the box is but has no idea what its for. Inside the box are all the passwords to my computer and every email account and website I’m on, so in case they cant find me at least they will know where I went. I also put all my dates contact information in my calendar in case we arrange something over the phone like time, dates, location, name, etc. Ok, enough of that… Im just a security freak looking out for the ladies. Goodnight everyone!

  12. Blondiegirl says:

    wow $20 000 for a weekend. that just seems a bit to much for me, I would feel like I was never dressed or acting perfect enough for that. I like lower allowances.. still high for seeing the guy around twice a month though… good job katelyn, you need to teach me all your tricks. heheI am new to this. About to meet some guys in the next few days and weeks.. well one tomorrow for coffee. another friday for dinner, one next wed for dinner, one is flying in to see me the next week and i told him i was only available one day, perhaps only for part of the day.
    So teach me katelyn, everything you know lol
    how old are you, just curious.

  13. Gail says:

    You are a fire-cracker! I know that you will do well Marilyn. SDaddies here’s a SB to ignite your fires. Katelyn your a “hoot”.

  14. Katelyn says:

    Ok, Im finally diving into the blogs. Here is my take on a good SD/SB relationship. I have an amount in my profile, and its not the highest I can go but definitely the least. This lets men know not to waste my time if they cant afford it. I dont respond to anybody that makes around $175,000 or is offering $1-3K a month, I know right off the bat it isn’t going to work. As for getting something on the first date, I agree with this 99%. If I have to drive 90 miles to see you in my sports car that gets 12 miles to the gallon and only takes premium, you better believe I at least want dinner in a 4 star restaurant. If we happen to be in the same town or if he comes to you, dinner is sufficient.

    If its a SD I’m on the fence about (ie he might be a fake) I already have allowances talked over before we meet. This normally scares away the liars. I also think that if its a day I could be at work and making $500, I should get a present or shopping or something along those lines to make up for lost money.

    Ladies, string them along for just the right amount of time and let them know you arent desperate. I have a multi-millionaire offering more than $20,000 a month desperate to have lunch with me but I just happen to be “a little busy this week”. I also have a potential SD offering 10K a month that I “accidentally” forgot to write back to after getting him interested. He messaged me back wanting to meet more than ever. Also, some men are on here looking for a head strong woman. I have one potential I thought mistook me for an escort. I responded with “I am not an escort, nor do I accept money for one night flings. You sir, will not talk to me like that again”. Fortunate mistake, he just so happens to be offering $20K for a weekend a month because of his schedule and he was also looking for a sassy woman.

    On another note, you dont need to be a perfect 10 to score a good SD. My motto is “Audrey on the street, Marilyn in the bedroom”. Men go nuts for good girls with a bad side. I look like the presidents daughter on dates, never even wearing a skirt above my knee, but if they play thier cards right they get to see a vixen in the bedroom.

    Ok, Im ready to take some bullets for that :)

  15. Gail says:

    jb_sd,

    Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I agree it’s nice not to have to pay for the premium account. My results have not been disappointing. I have even met SDs that do not have premium accounts at first, and they have been down to earth and perfect gentlemen. Thanks to this site my life has been extremely adventurous and fun. I too am not looking for a professional SD…just a good, man that I can enjoy life with.

  16. crush says:

    I found mine, too. Thank you, SA! I am MADLY in love with him which makes it SOOOOO much nicer. I can’t stop thinking about him all week long while he is working away. We share weekends together dining, shopping, & doing very couple like things. It is strange for me to only have limited time with him. He is very sweet and generous which makes it easier to handle. My only fear is that I will get too caught up with him and perhaps that is not what he is looking for. Stay tuned.

  17. ddubs says:

    MSH – thanks so much for the kind words.

    I love your line – “intelligent enough to know that great sex starts long, long before you even reach the bedroom” – I think many could and should learn a lesson from that statement, because its so, so true.

  18. MSH says:

    Ddubs: I think you are right on target with your definition of a fraudulent SB. There absolutely needs to be that spark for her and the spark should not come straight from the guy’s wallet! There are always going to be drama queens out there whose life is about to just implode upon itself if you don’t send them money or help them out in some way. I find this alarming that there are women who are clueless enough to think that that is the way to “play” someone. They tend to ruin it for the rest of us who are just looking for that red-hot attraction, that spark, that almost combustible feeling that happens when you do make physical contact with “the one” — just let the sparks fly where they will. I have had that feeling a couple of times in my life where I craved this man like nothing else. No, it was not all about his money, it was the way he set the tone of our relationship by the way that he very first took my hand in his and pulled me to him, the way that he treated me with the utmost respect and wanted to make sure that I was taken care of. He did not just throw money at me, but was kind, considerate and intelligent enough to know that great sex starts long, long before you even reach the bedroom. I think that that truly epitomizes a real SD. Those men tend to know women and how they want to be treated. I’m not saying that a man has to have money in order to know how to treat women, but there is a very specific type of man that I am drawn to and just about 100% of the time, that man is confident and successful. Guys that are cheap, like some of the losers that we have all come into contact with, set the tone horribly, horribly wrong from the start and it is usually just downhill from there.

    I think both sides of the SD/SB table are subject to being used and abused; it just takes good intuition and common sense. If you meet some girl and within a week of you knowing her, her world will come crashing to an end unless you send her X amount of money, then that should be your answer. If a SB meets a potential SD and he uses the excuse that he is married and doesn’t want to meet her in public, but in a hotel room, that should be your first indication that something is not right.

    Ddubs, whether you are a “real” SD or not, you seem to have a very good grasp on the way women need to be treated. That means a lot.

  19. jb_sd says:

    i’m very appreciative of ddubs’s posts and this whole discussion. i am still new to the SD thing, and I agree with the fact that I see this more of a different kind of dating site. That’s why I guess the really forward “so what do you want handsome?” emails turn me off.

    Gail – I question the reason why women would pay for the premium account. if you can read and reply to my emails that’s what matters right? If I see the premium account then I think maybe she’s a professional SB, and do I really want that. As long as you logged in recently and you are matching the other criteria you will show up in the search just fine. The SD should have a few bucks to spend on dinner, why not expect that I have a few bucks to spend on maintaining a membership in this site?

  20. ddubs says:

    and, I apologize for my spelling of “fraudulent”

  21. ddubs says:

    thanks candy…
    some would say that I’m not a “real” SD.
    I look at S/A as just a different kind of dating site.
    I prefer to date women in a certain age range, and I’ve had success meeting them here.
    Of course, once I meet a potential SB in person…I will treat her like gold as we get to know each other because if I’m interested, I truly want her to like me and enjoy being with me. As discussed in a previous thread, I don’t feel chivalry is dead in this type of a relationship.
    Once we feel comfortable with each other (and this doesn’t need to take long, sometimes it taken just a couple days together), then I will and have worked-out something along the “mutually beneficial” line.

    This works for some…not at all for others.

  22. candy land says:

    ddubs, your posts have clued me in to what is a real SD. I am sorry to hear of the ugly side of this process. I guess there will always be ugly, greedy people. Good that you have the antenna to avoid them.

  23. ddubs says:

    Interesting –

    What makes someone a “fradulent” SD?

    What makes someone a “fradulent” SB?

    This could make an interesting discussion in its own right.

    In my mind, the fradulent SB is one who fakes an interest in you for more than just a payday. One who demands a large cash sum for that first meeting while guaranteeing sex (escort anyone?). One who will go on forever with the emailing and the chat without ever intending to meet, while all the while asking for assistance for things like rent, car payment, gifts…allegedly to prove the SD is legit…but, really to take without ever intending on any kind of a relationship. The fradulent SB is also the one who will meet you in person. One who will take and take and take some more…but, when it comes time for the “mutually beneficial” part of the arrangement…suddenly is dealing with “that time of the month”, or “isn’t comfortable yet”, or “has a headache”.

    I’m not saying I’ve personally dealt with all these scenarios, but I have noticed them coming, and tried to avoid them.

  24. MSH says:

    Candyland:

    I absolutely love men. Most of my friends are men. I only have a very few girlfriends who I am very, very close with. I think that in order to be a SB you must genuinely love men. Unfortunately it appears as if there are many men out there who are using this website to commit fraud, so to speak. If a girl runs into too many of those types, it can be real easy to become cynical because this website and the subject matter herewith makes it difficult to tell whether either side is being genuine. I am sure that there are some fraudulent SBs out there as well, but there seems to be more fraudulent SDs just due to the number of posts on this blog.

    So, yeah, it would be hard for a SB to keep her chin up and not become cynical. The biggest factor in keeping things on the positive side is to be realistic and not to put all of one’s eggs in the SD basket, so to speak. I mean, you must have more in your life than the eternal quest for a SD to come rescue you like prince charming. I have always found that those who lead full and happy lives will attract others who are of the same ilk.

    If you’ve read some of my other posts, you’ll know that I’ve come across one real jackass on this site and then another clueless idiot. I just chalk it up to knowing which questions to ask next time, listening to the responses better and being able to weed out and cull the undesireables. I’m lucky. My life is not financially dependent upon meeting a potential SD. I am grateful for that every single day. I wish there was a magic wand I could wave to give some of the other SBs that same luck.

  25. candy land says:

    I’ve been trying to catch up with all the posts. When I think I’m almost done, a bunch more come in. You guys are great. I have one comment though. It seems that quite a few of the women here are a bit frustrated or angry and don’t like men but rather what men can do for them. I love men. That’s why I’m a SB. Its just great to see how they respond to affection and appreciation…pretty simple really. Am I being too naive?

  26. Gail says:

    ddubs,
    Thank you for taking the time to redeem yourself. Lisa, see he’s not that bad, he has a heart.

  27. ddubs says:

    Gail,
    I didn’t mean to sound not compassionate, but, I can see it came across that way. I wish you both the best of luck in finding whatever you’re looking for…and, in getting through this tough time in your lives.

  28. questioning says:

    I am loving all this scotch tape and chicken foreplay. However I really wanted to give a shoutout to all of you and tell you how much I appreciate your advice, comments, ideas and so forth. Also want to tell you, damn I got to go buy more batteries for that BOB of mine! This chicken, scotch tape thing is killing me.
    As I have indicated before, I have been talking to a wonderful gentleman (so he seems). I am so excited I can hardly wait to meet him.

    I am kind of a newbie when it comes to the (light) S&M game, but I would really love some *wild* ideas. So, please do REVEAL.

  29. Gail says:

    Glad you found us Candyland. I am new here too. I think I just made myself at home. Interesting viewpoints I might say, especially of the men. Take note the SD’s are sharing some of their secrets and desires right now.

  30. candy land says:

    New here. Great information. Thanks

  31. Gail says:

    questioning,
    Just wait and see what happens. You never know. Wishing you a blessed day filled with SD contacts!

  32. questioning says:

    Gail,
    Believe it or not I have had so many more peole view my profile since it expired.

    May be better off not up-grading again.

  33. Gail says:

    Creator and Greg,
    Both of you haven’t hooked up yet? I stopped in last nite…It was hot and sweaty here. Had to go to Shhhh!!! Left you two alone.

    ddubs,
    Thanks you for sharing and providing great suggestions for Lisa. Everyone will benefit from your lessons. I really don’t think that Lisa or myself depends on any SD to provide basic necessities, etc. She is going through a tough time in her life and so am I. Believe it or not shit happens. Where is your compassion?

  34. Gail says:

    Questioning,
    Believe it or not I have never paid for Premium Membership. Maybe I should just to see if there is a difference.

    For now I am satifsfied with the results. This is a way to enhance my life until I get back to regular employment.

    Just take the time to get to know your potential SD. If they are truly a gentleman they will take the time to get to know you. I made all the SB mistakes at first, and thats because I just didn’t know. Most of all try to enjoy every experience, or learn something from it.

  35. Ms. V says:

    Wow. Iam missing it all!
    Well, Cre8tor??? ARE you going to be his pony girl??? What a way to end a thread!! Suspense is killin me over here!

    Gentlemen: What do you want to see in a SB’s profile? What makes you look twice and/or send a message???

  36. Gregory Westin says:

    Oh you are a kinky one Cre8tor…would you like to be my Pony Girl ?

  37. cre8tor says:

    cluck cluck. neigh on the remark takeback

  38. Gregory Westin says:

    lol I am an Equal Opportunity Livestock… I would like that remark stricken from the record your honor.

  39. ddubs says:

    thanks Gregory…
    other than the chicken, horse, and scotch tape thing I read someplace earlier…lol…I’ve pretty much been in agreement with your posts as well…

  40. Gregory Westin says:

    Great comments thoughts ddubs !

  41. ddubs says:

    Oh, and I agree with Gregory.
    Every first date I’ve had…or weekends I’ve spent…including doing everything I can to show my potential SB a first class time. If the guy can’t put his best foot forward on a first date or two…he probably doesn’t have one. (did that make sense? lol)

  42. ddubs says:

    Okay, my two cents on this latest debate…

    I don’t think anyone should depend on another for the basic necessities in life like food on the table, or a roof over your head…unless that person is your spouse or parent. From a potential SD’s standpoint, knowing someone is depending on me in this manner would make me extremely uncomfortable.

    The scenario I prefer, and I would expect most guys would prefer is…
    to get to know someone first (and that doesn’t have to mean sex), form some kind of a bond/friendship/mutual attracton…before money changes hands.

    Now, there are exceptions to this. I have reimbursed potential SB’s for missed work to spend time getting to know me. I have also provided travel expenses (which only makes sense).

    I want an arrangement based on mutual respect, trust, AND attraction…and, that’s going to take a little time to achieve….but, once its established…then, I’m fine with providing the assistance my SB needs.

  43. Gregory Westin says:

    Lisa let me first apologize for some of us being such dumb asses. 4 dates and 15 dollars ? Dinner at Chili’s ? Coffee and you don’t even get a cup ?

    My suggested responses from now on:

    Response 1

    Sure let’s meet for coffee at (insert trendy coffee shop name here) I love their Iced, whipped, low fat, soy milk, decaf frozen macchiato.

    Make sure you get there ten minutes AFTER him (you are worth waiting for after all) and if he has not already ordered your drink, his first question had better be can I get you one of those Iced, whipped, low fat, soy milk, decaf frozen macchiato’s that you love so much.

    His first question had better not be would you like to go somewhere else to talk ? Then why did you ask me to meet you here Brain Boy ?

    Response 2

    No I don’t really drink coffee how about if we meet somewhere one early evening for a cocktail.

    And then depending on his response…

    No I don’t know Ben Dover’s Saloon & Billiards Emporium, how about (insert nice loungy place name here) instead

    Response 3

    Sure if you would like to meet somewhere to get a bite that would be nice.

    Again depending on his response:

    I have never been much on Chilis to tell you the truth how about if we met at (insert nice bistro-y place name here) instead

    ***

    Drive the bus Lisa. If he is not willing to step up for a decent location and dinner suggestion then my guess is he is never going to step up when you really need him to.

  44. Questioning says:

    Gail!
    Thanks I really needed to hear this from someone. My “premium” membership was canceled yesterday. I have been wondering, if I should re-upgrade. Maybe I should.

  45. Gail says:

    lost want to be found,
    Every SD is so different. I appreciate any amount, and any gift that they provide. I take time to know them first by e-mails or talking on the phone for awhile. That’s why it is easy to approach them when it come to talking about the financial arrangement.

    I am older and do prefer older SD’s. They have in turn have shown their appreciation because of honesty and candor in communication. Here are some examples of what I have recieved by developing friendships first:

    $1,000 each visit, laptop to continue my search for reemployment, $700.00 for 2 hours of my time, (just talking in person), All About-Me-Day(salon),Rent paid, All of my bills paid, Nice Dinners, Laughter, Companionship, Travel, Hotel accomodatiions.

    I make the decision to see a SD based on how comfortable I am with them during our time of discovery. I only ask what I need, am never extravagant or demanding. It’s not always a match…but I walk away knowing that I have a friend. And my friends have always been there if I not able to make ends meet.

    First and foremost I make things happen for myself. I look for ways to cut corners and save money every chance I get. No matter how tough my month is I manage to survive and pay all of my bills.

    I hope this helps. I wish you all the best. It takes time, patience and positivity.

  46. lisa says:

    I gave up on the other sites because you were lucky if you got a dinner date, usually it was just coffee which is ok but not worth getting all dressed up and putting on you best makeup, etc only to meet a guy in jogging pants and sneakers that half the time won’t even buy coffee. I had several dates I met at a coffee house and I presumed since I was setting at the table when they came up, we would have coffee and chat. Several times they suggested going somewhere else to sit and talk,not even coffee.
    my favorites was one that sat at the coffee shop the whole time but didn’t buy me coffee, begin to tell me about his 3 divorces, 5 young children (this man was in his 50’s) and that he had been on disability for 6 months and lived with his brother.
    Another took me to chilis at dinner time and only ordered chips and salsa. We were there for over an hour whiile the wait staff kept coming by to take our order. He said, “we’re just having the chips, nothing else thank you” I was so embarrased and hungry. On top of that it was a friday night and there were people waiting to be seated. we had a total of 4 dates and he spent less than 15 dollars total.

  47. lost want to be found says:

    great! that helps I am open to any other ideas or suggestions:) I am sick of dating on the other sites where you feel like crap if you seem a little needy. It’s like you have to hid it and play a game. I’m allllll for being open and honest.

  48. lisa says:

    I only got a few hundred from my first sd but we didn’t see each much and he wasn’t rich by any means. I was making a good wage at the time so the money he gave me was shopping money. I personally would base it on how often you see a sd. I have came across too many that want to give you 500 a month or just pay a phone bill or electric bill and still want to see you 2 or 3 times a week. That is a no go because why let him take all your free time when he is barely giving you anything. with that kind of allowance, you would need an extra sd. I think 1000 a month should earn him the right to see you once a week, more if you want, but he shouldn’t expect you to give up all your free time for a couple hundred a month

  49. lisa says:

    I’m a little older actually and although I love my mom, we have our differences and after living with her for a while and not being allowed to date or use the computer without being monitored (yes she did control me completely and I had no rights when I was in her home) I cannot stay with her. Also she is on a fixed income and cannot afford to take on anyone else, lives in an apartment and can’t have anyone move in. Also my mom would never help me because she believes that since I have had sex outside of marriage, I am a whore and she will not help support somelilke that. Anyway I need me a sugardaddy

  50. lost want to be found says:

    I would love to co-write that manual with you..lol
    I am an attractive older woman I’ve never been rejected based on looks if that’s a slight help. My plan is just flightless. I need facts lol
    1000.00 per mo gets a sd what and how often. I think I’m worth lots but I am afraid tht I may be asking too much or not enough. Does anyone have a base line they can share?

  51. lisa says:

    well I have met three on here, short term or one date things. One lasted a month with an allowance then he moved out of state, and then I had two dates with sds that took me shopping and then vanished. These were all guys that I met within a few days of chatting as I have had no sucess with the ones that want to meet in a few weeks or months, you know the ones that say they will be in your town next month, etc. they always seem to disappear along the way. lol
    Got some nice stuff shopping but no cash which is what I needed. the stuff I bought is nice but has no resale value (lingerie, cosmetics, trendy clothes, perfumes, etc). I am the type that is practical and would rather buy moderatly priced things and get more than just buy one luxury item. If I knew I had an ongoing arrangement, It would be ok, but not knowing how long it will last or if there will be a second time, I prefer to get several items that I want and can actually use. I do enjoy expensive cosmetics and perfumes though

  52. ChicBaby says:

    All these posts/comments should be turned into a SB/SD manual. A ‘Dummies Guide’ to living the SB/SD life. How to attract the (only) people you want, make your intentions known, start a successful arrangement, maintain it once you have it, and end it amicably when the time comes. Seriously, that thing would sell.

    The only problem is that each persons situation is different, and while I can tell you what has worked for me and give general advice, I can’t know what is going to work for you. And a lot of it seems to come down to chance anyway.
    lisa – I am so sorry about your rent and your job. That is an unimaginable stress. I hope (not pray!) that you find your perfect SD in the next couple of days so that everything can be worked out.
    I was in a similar situation last year, but I’m still a college student, so I put my tail between my legs and ran to mommy. She nearly strangled me, but she gave me the rent money.
    I am so sorry that you don’t have anyone to turn to who can help you. I can’t imagine what that feels like. All my love!! I’m just sorry that’s all I can send your way!

  53. lost want to be found says:

    That’s why u r here! Now can someone show us the SD/SB manual????
    lol

  54. lisa says:

    I know and this guy just loved to help homeless drug addicts and sex offenders, parolees, etc. He even left his beautiful wife that was 20 years younger than him and his two young sons to spend his time ministering to men in prison. He prefers prison men over ladies in distress. I believe that when god helps us,he helps us through other people, like charities, etc. I told this guy my needs and he should help a little but he would rather take the “i’ll pray” route than actually help. I make a comment about the gangs in my neighborhood, he says I should become friends with them and jokes. I don’t think the idea of being out some night coming home from my future job and getting gang raped or murdered is a joke. It’s really sad because this man is gorgeous but he is dead from the waist down, no interest in women anymore.

  55. lost want to be found says:

    What if I already did all of that but I’m still struggling…lol I dislike people like that. Find me some help Friend and I’ll go to church with you lol

  56. lisa says:

    lost want to be found : I agree totally. I just can’t get that romantic feeling when I know the man I am with is living a good secure life and I am struggling. Hard to have passionate feelings for a man who is driving a luxury car, living in a fancy home, and has a fridge full of tasty foods when I am taking public transport, being out late at night in a bad neighborhood and have spaghetti and rice in the cupboard. It’s easier for me to passionate and giving when I have had a good meal and have a safe roof over my head, anything less makes me resent my guy, thus the reason I have given up regular dating.
    I just heard from that guyfriend that I met a year back (not a sugar daddy, just a guy friend). I told him of my financial dilemna and he said he will “Pray for me” and wants to see me so desperate that I run out into the road and call to god in heaven to help me. then he wants me to get saved and baptisted?? I have no rent money for next month and because of the hurricane, have not yet started my new job (no power in store) and he is worried about my church membeship. ??
    I want nothing less than a sugardaddy as I am tired of struggling and ending up used and broke.

  57. lost want to be found says:

    So true. I’ve been doing the sd thing all along in my heart. I just didn’t get much if any out of it because I was going about it the wrong way. Thank You for this chance/site to get what I want without feeling like a ho. I want to be able to have a relationship that is passionate and exciting but help me please…..I feel far more sexy when I know I can feed my teenager and pay the mortgage.

  58. lisa says:

    I need advice too on how to get an arrangement started. I had some shopping trips but I need money for bills and stuff. Nice dinners and evenings out on the town aren’t going to pay my bills.
    It is said that we should not appear needy or we will scare off potential sds. I need to know however how to put on a positive face and meet these men and be content with dinner or coffee and plans of an arrangement next month, or 2 months from now, etc etc? How am I going to explain to a potential sd that in a couple weeks I will be homeless because I have no rent money? dinner is nice, but it won’t be enough, I don’t have time to wait when I meet someone. I want to meet someone when I have a place to live and can take care of my appearance, etc.

  59. lost want to be found says:

    I have a ?????? I know what I want but how do I come up with a plan and the amount? Where do I start? I’m tired of dating and getting nothing in return. I get a little mad when I know we had a great time at the hotel u remburshed me for but you have dinner and we don’t have money for dinner or the phone bill. I am a good lover but I want it to be fair…u play u pay…It’s not even if he gets steak and sex that day and I get a fake “O”

  60. MSH says:

    Thank you, Gregory Westin! I try very hard not to second guess myself because that is where things usually go terribly wrong, but there is nothing so wonderful as having my feelings validated!

    Okay, so the men who truly are legit and understand the essence of a NSA relationship, those are the ones that just make me like butter……..those who are looking for a little plaything and nothing else……

  61. dreamer says:

    i like honest men hehe. We need more like him to blog

  62. lisa says:

    Good evening ladies and gentlemen

    I would say that if a guy starts asking too much about sex, he isnt legit, he’s using this site to get lucky but probably has nothing too offer. I talked to one gentleman awhile back who kept referring to me wearing lingerie, and well let’s say I broke off contact with him. Made me feel selfconcious and would make a first meeting akward.

  63. Gregory Westin says:

    If I were a woman and the first question out of the man’s mouth was what do you like sexually the next sound he would hear was my car pulling away from the curb.

  64. MSH says:

    Jb_sd said: don’t act surprised and ask me “so what are you looking for” in email before we meet. If you don’t know, then why are you here?

    Okay, I have a question about this. I state very clearly and plainly what I am looking for on my profile. I want to be someone’s dirty little secret, an expensive dirty little secret. Pretty clear about that, I think.

    So my question is this: Why are there many guys out there that just completely glaze over that and want me to have cyber sex with them for free? I mean, the first question out of the gate is: So what do you like sexually? You don’t even know my name and you want to know what I like sexually? When I politely tell you that that is not something I talk about with a stranger, they get all pissy. I just don’t get it. Somebody please enlighten me, please.

  65. cre8tor says:

    Would you be comfortable telling him what you would like as an allowance? That might differentiate it to a degree from a hooker’s demand. After he agrees, do the hooker role play. If he doesn’t agree and continues the fantasy talk, bail.

  66. dreamer says:

    i talked to the potential sd about how he had planned on spoiling me (following you guys’ advice bc he has not quit talking about f’ing me til i cant walk) and he said he would like me to demand an amount.. Im so confused. I asked him isnt that what hookers do? and he said we can role play like that…. But all the time? doesnt that make it not role play anymore. What am i supposed to do about this one?

  67. Sally says:

    annie mouse: I am currently on a regular dating site, but I came here because I’m in a time in my life where this kind of set up is just what i need, and I’m no ‘pro’. I’m just not ready for anyone having to much of my heart right now — my son and his chance to go to private school, eat right, and experience things he should is where my heart is. the fun, sex, play — all of that should be in it’s own compartment for now 😉

  68. Truly Divine says:

    Ebony princess:If you go on Wikipedia and type in personals ad abbreviations in the search, You get an article which lists pretty much every type of abbreviation.

  69. annie mouse says:

    Thanks Greg! I really don’t see the difference between this and other dating sites. We’re all looking for a special someone in our lives.

    If I’m not going to fake it on a different dating site, why would I fake it here?

  70. Truly Divine says:

    Hi Ebony princess: NSA means no strings attached, –no commitments

  71. Ebonyprincess says:

    hey all, am new here, what is NSA?

  72. Gregory Westin says:

    Annie Mouse great comments !

  73. stephan says:

    cre8tor: you saw my spirit through the text…

    LOL 😀 How are you dear?

  74. cre8tor says:

    Moderator: is that you Stephan?

  75. moderator says:

    ffel: there are plenty of real sugar mamas on the site, but as you might expect, they are the most rarefied type of sugar dater…. depending on what type of sugar dater You are (sugar baby male, sugar baby female, sugar daddy, etc), you may have to take a slightly more aggressive approach to finding a successful match.

  76. annie mouse says:

    Regarding unrealistic expectations from SBs; I can’t speak for them all, and wouldn’t dare to, I can only speak for myself about what I want and/or expect. I wouldn’t “normally” date anyone who was overweight or could pass for my dad, so I wouldn’t do it here. If I dated someone here who I couldn’t stand, to me, that equals prostitution.

    What I would like is the BFE(boyfriend experience)without the boyfriend. I’m not interested in drama, I don’t want anyone attached to my hip, and don’t want to see them every day.

    What I would like is to spend time with someone who enjoys my company, I enjoy his, we can talk, laugh and have a spark.

  77. ffel says:

    hi guys? are SM in this website real? or it’s only SD and SB here. i need good SM who are real here(not escort or spam)

  78. MegaDeath says:

    well ladies, i think that money should be discussed in advance. i always do. now, i don’t expect a guy to write me a check on the first date, as i know that for him it’s almost an investment as well. However, before we even meet I have a specific amount in my mind. I expect several thousand dollars a month. I put it out there b/4 we even come face to face b/c most of the time, the sd will tell you if my expectations are even within his reach. as we all know there are SO many fakes on here who expect everything back and expect to give nothing in return. maybe my approach is a bit forward, but at least you don’t have to sift through as much Bullsh*t as usual to get to the real thing. Sure, there will be men who will call you pushy, overly demanding, etc, etc…BYe bye and see you later. I know what I have to offer. I know what I am worth. And its works for me.

  79. ChicBaby says:

    Hey, that’s me! Cool!

    jb_sd – I always ask ‘what are you looking for’ or some variation on the question unless he is very specific in his profile. There are different types of arrangements. My last I met him during the day, at a hotel, 3 or 4 times a week. My arrangement that is just starting he will be traveling here once or twice a month and I will be traveling to him one weekend a month.
    Some men want travel partners, some want girls to go out to dinner with, and some need absolute discretion. It is a necessary question.
    But I do agree that a lot of girls have unrealistic expectations. I think I would put my self in the ‘average/regular’ type, and when I first started out I was looking for more of a friend. Now I want it all! lol! But I keep my expectations reasonable.

    I always wait for him to mention money, unless he gets very specific about the sex. Honestly, for me it’s not all about the money (although it is a necessary component), and I hope that for him it isn’t all about the sex. I think when it is strictly about sex and money that is when it is prostitution.

  80. jb_sd says:

    i agree with ddubs. maybe i am naive, being new to this, but i am actually a little put off by women who are too aggressive in that money/sex way. if I wanted an escort/pro, there are other places to go and easier ways to go about it. i’m here looking for something better than an escort.

    I can’t put percentages on it but so far I’m finding a couple of things. 1st is that appealing women are totally unrealistic in their expectations and seem to expect that somehow there are 1000 Richard Gere’s on here that are just dying to do a “pretty woman” scenario (“I’m looking for $10-20k/mo is a good indicator LOL – you think you deserve a $100-250k/yr living just because you have good genetics?) 2nd is that the more “regular girl” types just think us guys are just on this site looking for a friend. I’ve got plenty of friends, thank you, and they don’t need the kind of support that being a SB/SD implies.

    Nobody’s perfect – if I was perfect I wouldn’t be on here (I’d maybe be on the millionaire site, if I was a millionaire) and if you were perfect you wouldn’t be thinking that an sb/sd relationship is worth looking into.

    so be realistic, and be real. i don’t have a jet, I’m a bit overweight, but I am a fun and stable person who makes a very good living. I’m willing to share that stability with someone who doesn’t mind that I am imperfect, but who values what I do bring to the table. And if I email you back, it’s because I like what you bring to the table based on your profile and photos, so don’t act surprised and ask me “so what are you looking for” in email before we meet. If you don’t know, then why are you here?

    Am I off base here? I am interested in feedback from the ladies and more experienced SD’s.

  81. cre8tor says:

    I love it! Thank you gentlemen! Where have you been? The ladies have their issues and its good to see yours as well. Shall we all strive to be upfront, honest and acknowledge what this is all about after all? We seek money, you sex. We talk, meet and make a deal if it “feels” right. if it doesn’t feel right, it’s nothing more than prostituion. luv ya guys. keep it coming

  82. dreamer says:

    hehe i know that.. But i dont want sex with just any guy 😉

  83. ddubs says:

    if he talks sex…you can talk money…absolutely, in my opinion.

    and, I’m starting to think the reverse should be true.
    if she talks money…he can then talk sex…

    I’d prefer it to be out of the equation entirely until you get to know each other in person.

    and…ummmm…I don’t think this is a news flash, but…EVERY guy (unless he’s gay, not that there’s anything wrong with that) wants sex with a pretty girl! : )

  84. dreamer says:

    i dont know what to think. I hate the thought that the main points of the relationship is sex and money. Whenever you get the two together something bad is bound to happen. I have been talking to a potential sd for a week now and all he talks about is our sex on the first date we are going to have. I have never mentioned anything about money or gifts or anything. I dont expect these things but how do I know if he is legit or just someone wanting sex with a pretty girl?

  85. ddubs says:

    my take on the percentages would be…

    40% legit
    30% professionals
    20% email games
    10% spam

    the debate about what makes one legit vs. a professional can blur that line.
    I think that anyone who offers sex for money on a first meeting is in the “professional” class.

    should this include anyone who demands money just to meet for a first date? that’s somewhat debatable depending on circumstance. I know what the girls think about this. I’m curious what the guys think.

    guys, when someone demands a cash payment for a first date…is it right to request something in return?

  86. ddubs says:

    well, he’s accurate to an extent…but, I don’t agree with his percentages.
    can’t tell you all how many times I worked on getting to know someone only to be told they need $1,000 or more for the first date with the guarantee of sex. that’s just a high priced escort.

    to some, the only difference between this and being an actual escort is the price…and, the fact that you get to see pictures of your client before having sex with him.

    yeah, I know…at least one of you is ready to fire back at me. go ahead.

  87. nycblondiebaby says:

    He’s probably the idiot who emailed me and said “I’m looking for a girl who has an apt in NYC where I can cum in the afternoon”
    In other words, he’s brain dead.

  88. cre8tor says:

    And, who are you?

  89. Truly Divine says:

    I haven’t had much success in finding my match, however I just keep thinking positively and learn from every encounter with a potential SD. Some have been phoney others straight creepy. I kinda just see it as getting myself preped and polished for when HE does come along. I’ve only been in the ‘scene’ a couple of month, however my confidence with my approach gets soother everytime.

    Getting ready for a meeting with a new SD
    Making conversation and finding out more about each other
    Knowing just how to confirm the details of your arrangement
    Enjoying your growing relationship
    and knowing you’ve finally meet the ONE…

    No such luck yet, but somehow I know its coming soon.

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