9 years ago
American Geisha

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Sugar Babies- American Geisha?

Cre8tor writes:

“I like to think of myself as an American Geisha… a different perspective on an honest relationship. Many times in the process of trying to find love we look for red flags and annoying habits. In a sugar daddy/sugar baby relationship, those things do not matter. If he leaves the toothpaste cap off, its not a problem because he goes home. If he doesn’t like the fact I don’t make the bed everyday, no worries, he has his own place. The relationship becomes about pleasing and being pleased. Ladies, we are here to make their manhood a priority and to appreciate them for the time we have with them. If they didn’t like taking care of a woman that cares for them, they wouldn’t be on this site. Its not about need but rather appreciation, respect and honesty. All of us have our sad stories about why we ended up here. Its not sad! Love? You will have some variation of whatever love is but the expectations are different and much easier to live with. Enjoy!” -cre8tor

Many of us Sugar Daddies and Sugar Babies have wondered how love ties into mutually beneficial relationships. Folks in the traditional dating scene seem to think they have a monopoly on love, but like cre8tor mentioned, “…you will have some variation of whatever love is but the expectations are different and much easier to live with.”

Can we make it official? Is love, or some variation of it possible in a Sugar Daddy relationship? Now, this may be dangerous territory for the blog, as many of us are just fine without the L word (and I don’t mean the show) interfering in our lives. But this weekends blog isn’t about the love between two monogamous partners, it’s about what it means to feel love for someone in a no-strings-attached arrangement.

How To Tell When Your Falling In Love With Your SD/SB

 

* when you picture a future together

* when you wish you were maried

* when you wish he or she wasn’t so desirable so you could have them all to yourself

* when you wish they’d change their mind about NSA

 

Sugar Daddies, Sugar Mamas, Sugar Baby Females and Sugar Baby Males: What are your thoughts? Should we create the Ten Commandments of Love and Sugar?

Thou shalt not expect more than is offered

Thou shalt make hast no later than sun rise

Thou shalt not lie about thine annual income or net worth

Does anyone think love should always stay out of an arrangement? Or, is there a special type of love that can exist in mutually beneficial sugar daddy relationships?

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22 Responses to “American Geisha”

  1. Ms. V says:

    Oh Stranger….be as honest as possible with your Lady friend…she may be using that b/f to see how you react. Maybe she wants more of you- never know.
    Tell her how you feel, what you want, and keep it moving if she isn’t willing. Have you decided what you’re willing to put up with, yet?
    V

  2. name says:

    Good day!,

  3. sincere_sd says:

    Stranger

    I was about to respond in the boundaries discussion with an experience that was similar to your situation. My problem was the boundaries and expectations were not well set and she was too self-centered to change her ways. Without going into gory details, it really hurt to make the decision to leave but my life is so much better without the drama queen. I agonized daily, and often hourly, with my feelings for her … versus her treatment of me … to worrying about her well being, etc.

    It sounds like you have already made the decision to leave, however, if you want to salvage the relationship, I would recommend you have a heart-to-heart discussion with her to clarify your expectations (time, respect, allowance, etc). Let her make the decision whether or not she is willing to meet those expectations. Even if she says yes, you have to judge whether she is going to be with you mentally or just physically. And if she falls back to her old ways, both of you will know that it’s over.

    Don’t feel prey to tears or pity … if she is a manipulator she knows how to play you … and you will be back in the same boat. Keep your heart in your chest, your 2nd brain in your pants and your money in your wallet. As cold and callous as this sounds, there are lots of available SB who will appreciate a relationship with good SD.

    Good luck with your decision. It took me several months to get over her but I’m back on the SD scene and am starting a relationship with a wonderful, caring SB.

  4. StrangerInFla says:

    I’ve had a relationship with what has turned into a SD/SB relationship for over a year now, and it has been up and down. I genuinely feel for this girl, but recently she has found a boyfriend… Now, I don’t mind that at all – but since then my time with her has decreased significantly, and her attitude has changed also – to the point where I’m wondering why am I supporting her as I am… But, I do care for her, so I can’t just pull the plug on my support as she relies on that as she does not have a steady paying job…

    And it has gotten to the point where I’m stuck. How do I handle this? I do care for her, but it has gotten to the point of more drama than its worth..

    I know what to do, but doing it is hard… as I do have genuine feelings for her.

  5. Morena says:

    Been married before and guess what? to me being single with no string is awesome especially when you have no one smothering you, but you know there is always that special someone who craves your company and you can see him whenever you want. Thats really nice 4 me, but different strokes for different folks. I just like it because its drama free. Oh and the AMERICAN GEISHA writer hats off to you that was awesome!!

  6. CCkiss says:

    Sleeping alone is nice, cre8tor. :-)

  7. cre8tor says:

    Fetish Diva: everyone has their desires and fantasies. Wouldn’t you think it is the part of an “American” geisha to understand those and provide them and enjoy providing them whatever they might be? I, personally, think it is extremely difficult to be intimately involved with a man for a good length of time and not have some sort of love connection. But sometimes I just like to sleep alone.

  8. Fetish Diva says:

    Ah, the subject of love…

    As a Dominant Female I am not into the sort of arrangement that a geisha offers, however I am quite capable of writing on the subject of love in unconventional relationships

    Love is a boundless thing and as such comes in many different forms. To presume that love is out of the question in a sd/sb relationship is unfair, unrealistic and simply untrue.

    Even monogamous vanilla relationships seldom provide the flavour of “love” Hollywood so often presents to the masses for the sake of profit.
    Human beings are unique creatures with a myriad of different needs at different times of our lives.

    Love is not co-dependance – what so many in our society seem to believe it is.
    It does involve a sincere caring for another – this need not come with the expectation that this other be perpetually present and available.

  9. Tiger says:

    I love easily, variations of love that reflect like the infinite views seen through a kaleidoscope.

    I am clear the only common denominator to my experience of love is me.

    I do not do possession of any kind. I am the one who will be the chooser of surrender and I do not surrender lightly. Any man who meets me or knows me, knows…..you don’t want to cage a Tiger, they are far more beautiful to experience when set free.

    If one owns themselves, by any means available that keeps their head high, spirit fed and life enriched, then there is no fear or resented consequence to allowing the emotion of love.

    I have been in a very open relationship with my husband for over 13 years. During that time I have seen several married men and single men, of which I enhanced or am enhancing their lives. I love each of them for who they are, for themselves and for me. If they are NOT being anything for me, for my own self preservation of spirit and interest in my life’s success, I move on, simply because I give as good as I get.

    I am the same with my many and varied friends. From bohemians to millionaires, CEO’s to blue collar worker. I can love the characters that they are, while still not entertaining their attributes that are not conducive to my well being. But I love them all the same, just with clear limits. There can be limits to love.

    I can love a flower in a landfill, while not loving the landfill. I can love the coolness of a storm, without inviting the wrath of its full force.

    A very handsome southern gentleman on this site wrote in his profile about friends for a “reason” and a “season”. Love can exist for only a reason and a season.

    I believe if open communication is exercised….there are no limits to relationships. Whether they are emotionally, physically or business based.

    Problem comes in because humans all have different variations in which they communicate.

  10. Feminine Touch says:

    Hello everyone~
    As a child I was raised in Japan and having a Japanese step-mother enriched me in the true feminine art of pleasing men. I truly enjoy making life very comfortable and rewarding for that special man.
    Having also been a mistress for eight years to a professor emeritus art patron and critic has given me insights and experience in the worlds of inherited wealth, the arts and social events, managing time and activities, and skills necessary to succeed in priviledged environments.

    Whether love is verbally expressed or not is not as important as the man’s actions toward me, after all actions speak louder than words. Consistency is primary as is novelty within the relationship to keep the interest alive.
    After all, the gentleman has strived all his life to reach the pinnacle of success and deserves to have his fantasies realized.

    Thank you for making a blog available for us ladies and gents who put pleasure for the worthy first.

  11. lisa says:

    Goddess I agree with you. If he can’t devote himself to you, then you have a right to see someone else. It shouldn’t even have to be discussed. When I had my married lover, I continued to date and had one relationship and then a sd but I never mentioned it to him because there was no reason to bring it up. As far as the allowance, I think your guy just wanted to be cheap, and thinking saying he loved you would replace the allowance. It is very difficult to be into a man who says he loves you and cares nothing about your wellbeing. If one is working 2 jobs, there is little time for anything especially giving ones time and attention to a man who doesn’t want to help you have a better life.

  12. Goddess says:

    Stephen: I think you hit the nail right on the head. Letting love exist without possession is the key.

    I’ve had an arrangement that became infinitely better after the three little words had been expressed, because at that point we each knew for a fact that the other was in it for more than just our respective benefits.

    And another arrangement that went absolutely sour, because jealousy and possessiveness came into play. He didn’t intend to leave his spouse for me (and I didn’t particularly want him to) or anything, but he became incredibly threatened by anyone else I spent time with. And he wanted me to “prove” my love by continuing to see him without the allowance. Sorry, but when the allowance is gone I’m either going to be working two jobs to pay the rent and won’t have time or I’ll be devoting my time to a new SD. That fact had nothing to do with love and everything to do with reality.

    PS. Thanks for the welcome. :) I just found the blog yesterday and am really enjoying reading the discussions here.

  13. Rory says:

    It can happen. Although i really wished it didnt happen but i did on here before and i’m sure it might again.

  14. Stephan says:

    Goddess: thank you my dear! i think that summed it up very well. i know love is a beautiful thing, but once you cross that line…

    I wonder if some people, or maybe I should say “some people in certain circumstances” don’t know how to let love exist without possession. I think some are just not able to love someone without feeling like they own that person… or that they should have control over the one they love…

    I also think people can change 180 degrees from one time, person and place to the next. Maybe if your in a horribly toxic relationship now, you could escape and rediscover the positive side of yourself you abandoned for a relationship.

    In my opinion, one things for sure: There are several reasons people come to this site… not wanting to get hurt so bad again from falling in love might be one of them. WELCOME TO THE BLOG GODDESS if no one has given you the greeting yet 😀 😛

  15. Goddess says:

    As far as the question about whether LOVE should stay out of an arrangement or if it has it’s place –

    It’s important to remember that LOVE is an emotion, and simply an emotion. It does not and should not come with strings attached.

    Crossing the line between liking, respecting, trusting, and enjoying your sb/sd and truly being in LOVE with them does not mean that the established boundaries should or must change. It doesn’t mean that any set allowance should be raised and it doesn’t mean that allowance and gifts should no longer be accepted. It doesn’t mean that if either party is married or otherwise attached that they should leave their significant other for this new love. And it doesn’t mean that either party owes the relationship more of their time and energy.

    I truly believe that the real danger in feeling and saying “I love you” is when either party attaches an unrealistic set of expectations to the emotion, instead of savoring the wonderful gift that it is.

    LOVE is a beautiful thing.

  16. cre8tor says:

    Be_A_Star. I agree 100%. A sd/sb relationship allows each to be their own person and then share that whole person w/their lover. And, yes, I am much more adventurous and open.

  17. Be_A_Star says:

    I think there is a special kind of love that can develope between a sb/sd over time, but it doesn’t have to do with the soggy kind many girls believe in.
    In truth you probably have a better chance of finding a real love with an sd that you have a NSA arrangement with due to the fact there is room in this kind of relationship. You don’t lose yourself like you can with a boyfriend. I think because you alway looking for new passions and wanting to spend quality time with your sd you allow yourself to be more open and creative in what you give to him. You always want to please him and have him please you in good ways.

    I’ve alway thought you know when you are truelly in love is when you are still your own person but he adds to your greater happiness and the same in return.
    I could really see how you could fall in love with your sd and him in return. In a way that is what a good arrangement entails mutual giving in exactly the right proportion.
    What I see love is all about, fantasy of the future, marriage and all that really doesn’t mean your in love just you suddenly want to own that person and have no one else have them.

    Love to me is being able to live each day with another person and let the future be what it is. Where you share unconditionally. If it ends your are a better person for the relationship even though it’s over.

  18. bostonTerrier says:

    i had a relationship with a married sugar daddy and we grew to be very close. i looked at him as a close friend and it was never the case that he didn’t want to to ignore my personal love life. at some point during our relationship i had a boyfriend and it was obvious my sugar daddy was somewhat jealous – it was difficult to deal with and it ultimately led to our end. i was never looking for love and i felt really guilty when i found out he had such strong feelings for me while he was married.

    if my ex-sugar daddy was single, things would’ve been different.

  19. lisa says:

    Well I had a relationship with a married man for several years. It was not an sd relationship, actually he never even took me to dinner but the we had a very passionate relationship and I knew there was no future in it and he had been married for 30 years. For me though having a few relationships with single available men was no different as they seemed to be busy and not interested in any real committment, and although they didn’t have wives, they had their children and their hobbies and work that made them unavailable. If both people want a serious relationship, that is great and I would love that but most guys on here are not looking for that, or at least they aren’t looking for marriage and I am not the kind to just go on forever with a guy, being committed to him if he won’t marry me.

  20. cre8tor says:

    Wow! Thanks for posting the subject. Its something that has developed for me over time in trying to understand a sd/sb relationship. I have been involved with a married man and told him from the get go, I’m not here to change your life only to make it better. That took a lot of pressure and expectation off of both of us I think. And I really like the idea of a NSA relationship. Much simpler. Would be interested in thoughts from others here.

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